#i slept all thru the night for the first time in 2 weeks and got so excited

[kirishwima]

can i have A break. just A break. please

[brooooswriting]

ma am I saw your post and I when I was about to request.

SITUATIOND PART 6 HELL YEAH

take your time and have a good day <3

Situations 6

Situations 1, situations 2, situations 3, situations 4, situations 5, situations 7

Jenna Ortega x reader

That night Kara came to your apartment around 11:30 pm. After you shot another text to her mom the girl settled into the guest room, you’ve always liked their mother and their mother has always been a big fan of your. To be honest you probably liked her the most from the whole family, sure Mia and Kara were nice and their father was too, but Miriam, their mother, has always given you the space and time to talk and be yourself.

Anyway, after the younger girl settled into your guest room down the hall you decided to wake Jenna as she peacefully slept on the couch with her head against the arm rest. She looked cute as your bigger clothes engulfed her petite frame while the blanket was half on top of her and the rest was on the ground.

“Jenna” you mumbled as you crouched down next to her, your hand lightly stroking her arm. The only response you really got was a grumble causing you to chuckle before trying again. “Come on, it’s 11:30. Do you wanna sleep over or should I drive you home?” You whispered again, not really getting an answer until her arms wrapped around your arm and pulled you close. “Wanna stay over?” You asked again, she grumbled again and then nodded.

After 10 more minutes of trying to get her to walk to the bedroom you just decided to pick her up and carry her there. “Is it okay if we sleep in the same bed?” You were aware of the fact that the two of you had already slept in the same bed once and that not even four hours ago you were kissing on the street, but you still wanted to make sure that the girl is comfortable. “If you aren’t then I might just go home” she answered.

After you were done laughing you laid next to her, giving her the opportunity to cuddle up to you. She backed up into you causing you to spoon her, your head on top of hers and her hands holding yours over her stomach. You haven’t fallen asleep that quickly in weeks.

The next morning you were awoken at around 4 am by someone knocking on your door, or rather trying to knock thru it. You carefully parted from the sleeping actress in your arms to open the door before the loud sound woke her or Kara up. In front of the door stood Mia, her face red and angry, her hand in the air to knock again. “Mia, it’s 4 am. What the hell do you want?” You asked kinda pissed, you normally didn’t have a problem with waking up early but a) this was the first night since Jenna had went Radio silence on you that you weren’t drunk and b) you had the most perfect girl sleeping in your bed.

“How dare you leave Kara alone at a party full of people she doesn’t know?!” She screamed as she pushed past you into the room. “First of all, lower your voice, there are people sleeping in this apartment. And second of all, I asked her and your mom, they were fine with it. She didn’t wanna leave so why should she?” You were really confused, Mia always left her younger sister somewhere alone, so why was this suddenly a problem? “You left her for that girl, that bitch that ghosted you remember?” She did in fact barely lower her voice, giving you a headache. “I left because I got into a fight” you were telling the truth, you didn’t leave for Jenna or anything, you just couldn’t stand that guy anymore. “A fight you got into because of that… that girl” you sighed, trying to calm yourself, “I got into a fight because the guy was homophobic and tried to tell her what to do. As a woman I would have said something about it no matter who” you tried to explain calmly while the blonde paced through the living room.

“You shouldn’t even talk to her anymore. After our night together, we could be something. Let her be so we can continue dating, two nights ago was a great start” she told you, confusing you. You tried to remember what had happened two nights ago but the only thing you could remember was her coming over when you were black out drunk. The next thing you knew was you waking up in underwear in your bed. “What are you talking about?” You asked causing her to gasp, “we made love honey” now was your time to gasp. “Mia, when you came over I was completely drunk, black out drunk. I barely remember you coming over. We 100% did not make love” you tried to stay calm but the whole situation gave you a migraine and scared you. “We did, sure you were drunk but you looked at me like you wanted me and then I” she couldn’t finish her sentence as Jenna suddenly exited your bed room.

“I think you should go” she told the girl as she stood tall. “I think you can’t tell me what to do” the blonde answered and just as you were about to say something, the small actress pushed the girl out and closed the apartment door after whispering something. “Jenna” you started but she disappeared into the bed room, slamming the door.

You fell on to the couch, searching for any memories of that night, but none came up. She never even felt the slightest bit attracted to Mia, never did so why would do make a move all of the sudden? You didn’t get to think too long as your bed room door opened and the brunette stepped out. Slowly sitting down beside you, her shoulder pumping against yours.

“Do you really not remember anything? I want the whole story or I’m leaving” Her voice was small and shaky. You could see tear stains on her face, some new, some older. “No, I don’t. After you went radio silent on me, I was a bit of a wreck and the first three nights I went to parties and got shitfaced, just like three nights ago. I called Mike but he was out of state so I guess he send Mia. Anyway, the last thing I really remember from that night was opening her the door and her brining a bottle of tequila. I believe I was crying, complaining about how I could be so stupid to let my feelings ruin you and me. The next morning is also a bit of a blur but I do remember waking up in underwear and finding one of Mia’s shirts. But I guessed that we were too drunk to change… the only thing I’m rather sure about is not making a move on her” you had tears welling up in your eyes, hiding your face in your hands as your elbows were placed on your knees.

A soft sigh came from your right before two arms wrapped around your shoulder to pull you into her. She placed soft kissed against your temple. “I’m so sorry” she mumbled as she rubbed your back. “For what?” You lifted your face from your hands to look at her brown eyes, “Darling, it’s not your fault. I was being irresponsible, I should have guessed that this would happen.” The actress shook her head, her hands finding your face, “none of this is your fault. You shouldn’t be scared of friends taking advantage of you when you’re drunk! It’s not your fault”

You nodded before she lightly kissed your lips, making sure that you were okay with the physical contact. “How about we go back to bed huh? It’s 4:30, we can sleep a bit and then make breakfast” you nodded before standing up and pulling her along with your intervened hands. It didn’t take you long to fall asleep as you were exhausted from what just happened.

You were woken up again at 8 but this time by Jenna stroking your hair to wake you up. “Good morning” she mumbled as she kissed your cheek, “morning love” you rasped out as kissed her hand.

After both of you showered, on your own, and you lend her some of your clothes you made breakfast for yourselves and Kara. “You really aren’t helpful hun” you giggled as she sat on the counter and ate the fruit you just cut, “I give you company so I am in fact helpful” you both laughed as you flipped the pancake.

When the whole table was set and the food was done you went to take the fruit from Jenna who tried to keep it out of your reach, after a small wrestling break you went to wake Kara up.

“Kara, breakfast is ready” you told her after you knocked on the door. The okay that followed was your sign to go back to the kitchen, “she’s coming” you told the brunette as you sat down next to her. “Is this gonna be weird?” She asked as you sat down, “I mean, she’s her sister, isn’t she gonna be on her side?” She continued looking into her cup as she swirled the liquid inside. “Kara has always been pretty easy, she makes up her own mind but tolerates nearly everything, so as long as you don’t start hating on her sister and answer her questions truthfully she’ll be fine”

And that was exactly how it was, after Kara asked some questions about Jenna in general, she started asking about the incident. “What’s gonna happen between you and Mia now?” She asked as she cut her pancake, “well, you know that her and I will never be a thing right? Your sister and I are/were great friends but I never felt a romantic connection and that won’t change. Plus, I do have Jenna. Right now; i will take some distance from her and then we can decide.”

After breakfast you decided to drive Kara home as you didn’t want her to take the bus. “You’re coming along right? I don’t wanna go there alone” Jenna never saw you so unsure and it broke her heart. “Of course I am” so all three of you got in the truck as you started the drive toward Kara’s household.

Turns out, Jenna and Kara do have a lot in common, especially their music taste as they were giving throughout the whole ride. “Sorry to interrupt this small concert but we arrived at your destination” you told them as you lowered the music. While you were saying your goodbyes, Miriam came to your car. “Y/n, it’s so nice to see you!! Thank you again for taking Kara” she said happily, causing you to smile. “Why don’t you come over for family dinner tomorrow?” You dreaded this question, gripping the steering wheel tighter, “I’d love to, but Mia and I need some time from each other. I’m sorry” Jenna’s thumb rubbed over your hand while Miriam smiled at you comfortingly. “It’s okay. I get it” after a moment of silence she continued, “is this pretty girl your girlfriend?” She was looking at Jenna who was smiling back at her. You leaned closer to the older woman, “well I do hope that this pretty girl will be my girl soon” you whispered so the actress couldn’t hear you. Miriam cooed before her husband called her inside causing all of you to say your goodbyes.

“So how does a first date sound?” You asked as you drove away from the house.

—————————————————-

I’m sorry this is very short but I’m in a bit of a stress as I’m having my graduation exams soon and I barely studied until now and it’s really fucking me up. So I’m sorry if this is full of mistakes or shitty :/

[sebstanismyspiritanimal]

Hi guys! It's been a minute since I posted I'm sorry! We got SLAMMED at work this week and I've just been trying to survive 😂 but here is chapter 7! It's a little shorter but chapter 8 is already promising to be pretty long to make up for it!

We've got some more Spencer and Eddie opening up to each other, I think after ch. 8 I'm going to start focusing on the team and cases for a minute while I let Spence and Eddie stew in pining romance 😁

Feel free to leave comments or suggestions! As always here's chapter 6 if you missed it!

After that night in her closet, Spencer and Eddie seemed to get closer than ever. She no longer held back as much of her pain around him and he seemed to let himself relax and be more open and honest around her.

Eddie also had taken to calling Spencer when she ended up in the closet after roll call, him coming every time without questions.

"Alright, team dinner at mine tomorrow night! 6pm, do not be late." The team cheered at the words from Rossi, all of them looking forward to their first team dinner with Eddie.

"What is team dinner?" Eddie whispered to Spencer amidst the cheers of the rest of the team.

"We go to Rossi's who makes us pasta and we drink wine and gossip."

"Ooh." Eddie clapped along with everyone, excited to spend more time with everyone outside the walls of the bureau.

"There's a new episode of Dr. Who tonight, wanna get Thai and watch it at my place?" Spencer was grinning mischievously at Eddie, already anticipating her scrunched nose and counteroffer.

"Make it Indian and you're in." She demanded playfully making them both laugh.

"Alright fine, but one of these days I am going to get you to eat Thai with me."

"You already have Spence, and I didn't like it! Stop making my Midwestern taste buds go thru this!" Her voice was almost a whine, making Spencer laugh and Derek to look over at them curiously.

"What are you two planning over here?" The other man was grinning wide and draped himself over Spencer's desk divider.

"Dr. Who and Indian food." Eddie said simply making the Derek roll his eyes.

"You like Dr. Who too? I had high hopes for you Edythe, I really did."

Eddie rolled her eyes and retorted, "I'm going to get you to play DnD one of these days and you'll love it and then it's a slippery slope to nerdsville my friend."

This made Derek laugh brightly, "Yeah, I'd like to see that happen."

This made all three of them laugh before they split off and started their files for the day.

---------------------------------------------------

The Indian food was thoroughly picked thru and eaten and the last ten minutes of their show was playing when Eddies radio crackled to life.

~Eddie?~

The same voice that Spencer heard all those nights ago in the hotel room came thru and he looked at his coworker as she reached for the radio and answered.

~Everything okay, Max?~

Spencer started to get up to give them some privacy, but stilled when Eddies hand landed on his arm, keeping him in place.

~No. I haven't slept in 2 days, I feel like everytime I close my eyes I see him.~

Eddie closed her eyes and looked at Spencer, seeming to look for something on his face before turning back to the radio.

~I have a coworker here with me, do you want me to go to another room or are you okay with him hearing this?~

The silence from the radio made Spencer start to fidget the longer it went on.

~Hes fine.~

Eddie sat patiently in the silence left by Max and waited for the other woman to start speaking again.

~Do you still dream about the bats?~

Spencer had no idea what was being discussed. He would almost think that was intentional if Eddie hadn't specifically asked him to stay.

~Yeah I do, Max. Those are the worst of the dreams I have.~

Spencer continued to listen quietly to the girls conversation until Max seemed to be calmed down enough to go back to sleep.

Once the radio was quiet again, Eddie let out a loud breath and put the radio back on the table.

"Can I ask what that was about?" Spencer already guessed her answer and was proven correct when Eddie just looked at him with tired eyes.

"I thought you said the task force never gained or lost any members." He stated after a few minutes of silence.

"It didnt. Max wasn't apart of the task force." Eddie held Spencer's eye contact, having a silent conversation that was only broken when he laughed silently.

"Am I ever going to find out about your life before and during your time in the military?"

Spencer was surprised when Eddie suddenly grasped his face, "I pray to God that you never do."

[ibelieveinghost]

3/23/24

sooooooo much happened this past week and I need to note down how things made me feel!!!

1st off I don't have my new visa yet. let's get that out of the way. I don't worry as much now. again, strange feeling.

2 things happened yesterday. went to M's orientation. I felt like my Japanese is def getting better, but not quite there yet. not sure how much help a part time job would do, but hopefully there'd be some improvements. fun fact: my employee selfie ranked 16/750,000 ppl LOL no kidding. I got that smile goin' oh and it's freaking cold yesterday. short sleeved uniform made it 1000x worse.

like...man. I felt kinda, really, honestly pretty umm...inadequate. as an adult. in terms of adulting abilities. the way I spent all my years doing big brain research stuff and not even having the experience dealing with 'real ppl'. not even a part time job(despite working at library for 6 years which doesn't count...too safe an environment), not to mention fast food/catering position like this. i have this looming fear(again) that this バイト experience would touch me in some profound, disturbing way. but anyway. I'd only grow more mature. with more tools and the mental agility to deal with more to come. like. yea. guess that's worth the price.

ok dok enough of that. Asa and I went watched dune 2 last night!!! imax laser at Shinjuku TOHO and it was so so so good! despite not having watched the first one, I find the fact of not knowing 100% what's going on less of a problem than me checking out their asses(yum) all the fucking time. would watch again, probably 4D next time bc I want to feel that sand(probably water, if we're being realistic) on my face. anyway, it was beautifully made. I came to the theater knowing jack shit about what dune it and left loving what I watched.

so that's Friday! I hangout with K Thursday, and had a long interview that evening too. again, I didn't do too well... which means I did kinda okay. still warming up to the interviewing thing I guess. hope I can get a third interview (they have 4 bruh), or a teaching demonstration next week. if I end up getting the offer, it'd be splendid. but I'm not exactly in a place be optimistic. those people are way too qualified than my current level. but I'll prepare anyway. you really can't treat ur pride or sense of worth too seriously in time like this. I know I have what I need. I know some feelings are only natural. and I decide to not dwelling on anything that's nothing serving me good and carrying me forward. and yes! I talked K into watching HH! big win! and we're going to the 🎤 theme cafe next Thursday woohoo! I had shifts scheduled mon-wed, so that gives me something to look forward to.

and then there's Tuesday. I hanged out with my kind and beautiful girlie D. can't believe she's going thru this much and did this much for folks who care so little about her. anger. I was angry. no one take advantages of my friends like this. I'll check on her more often and try to hang out more often. that's the least I can do. it's not like I can ask her to break up. but I'll be there for her.

mon and wed I slept away no kidding. I'll stop here. now photos:

(THE BEST CHINESE DISH I HAD IN TOKYO+proof that's I was NOT KIDDING)

(food and drinks lol)

(that was a nice walk we had roppongi->sendagaya beautiful weather + good tea, real good tea)

(the cards I got for my teachers! + not looking bad!)

I kinda forgot the write about my little trip to ikebukuro w/ asa last weekend. it was so much fun & I drank so much cheap wine at saizeria lol I'd like to add an entry for that night specifically but who r we kidding. chances are I just forget again. so here are the photos:

(wuwuwuwuwuwu BABIES)

(simply the best cheap wine out there and I'm ready to die on this hill. and... finally got to sit at the window seat at this saizeria crying shaking+literally stayed until the place closed)

(and we went to kichijoji on a whim. 終電までeven more chit chat at the park. it was so nice. so nice. so nice)

ok wow long entry! exactly what I wanted to do on a cold Saturday morning at my fav coffee place. closing thought: I think ppl don't understand how loud Japanese ppl can be. not complaining just stating the fact, that they can be really fucking loud in public. not sure where the 'quite' stereotype came from, and I believed it before I moved here. these. people. are. loud.

ok! off to have a productive day. hopefully! somehow this week ended up being so packed with social stuff/obligations. didn't even have the time to write here/on my journal. didn't have the time to study. hmmm..although I did read 500 pages of radioapple fanfic. but that's my selfceare leisure time!!! yea I read some really, REALLY good fluff. like oh my stars. that will never happen in canon but definitely a possibility and def not OOC.

b-bye!

[deepdeepjoyandpain]

Two weeks later spring break recap, since a month ago was the night before we left (!) and @foster-the-world inspired me to share since our trips were so similar.

We flew to Vegas on Tuesday night- after our Wednesday flights were cancelled. Stayed at NYNY, landed at midnight. My friend from San Diego met us! Slept great and woke up adjusted to time change. Wandered as far down the strip as lulus legs could take it and headed back, pool time, dinner, then made her see bellagio fountains. I tucked her in and with her blessing met my friend for drinks downstairs.

Vegas day two was really waiting for the rental car day. We got a jeep- very fun- and zipped off to Williams AZ. Snagged groceries and my burger lovers first in and out experience.

Grand Canyon: hiked 2.5 miles on rim trail, lunch, shuttle to other stops. Loved it— gorgeous and vast. Lou loves rocks but got tired of learning about the history. Dropped out of junior ranger program, ha. Back to Williams and dinner and pool.

Next day, Saturday: bearizona in Williams- a drive thru zoo. She loves zoos, we love zoos together. This one didn’t wow me but she was super happy and into it. Absolutely gorgeous drive to Sedona. Wandered the town, pink jeep tour, to next hotel.

Sunday: hike in Sedona, what a beautiful area. Back to hotel for laundry and pool time. Attitude rising: gave up Indian meal out for pizza at hotel. Resting day which we both did need.

Monday: drive to Page for antelope canyon, which was worth the 2.5 year wait! Fabulous, super guide. Pictures are amazing. Horseshoe bend had wild wind and Lou was a little freaked out by people close to edge. Mediocre BBQ dinner - she refused shower- to her.

Tuesday I cried a lot. She woke up angry and refused to get up for a while. FaceTiming my mom helped. We got to Bryce and did a moderate hike into canyon. She hated it and just ran her mouth with all the things she doesn’t like about me. We stopped a lot. Lunch at lodge, a decent chat, permission to stay in car at rest of drive in park. So she did agree to do one more short hike. Drove to our hotel near East Zion.

Wednesday was the other day I was super pumped for— ebikes in Zion! They were so much fun. Such a grand park, once again I loved it. Did two easier hikes. She completed junior ranger and a female ranger of color swore her in:) very sweet girl today- she was back!

Thursday we happily drove through Zion one more time. We planned to go to valley of fire but were exhausted. Drove to Vegas, got in room around 2 and crashed at pool until 5. Super hot day and it felt so relaxing. Dinner, ice cream, fountains again and to bed.

Nice direct flight home Friday. I lowered the bar sooo much: food, amount of/intensity of hikes, even more time spent shopping than I like. That’s compromise, that’s parenting. I loved the new places I went and the freedom of exploring. She says she likes the shopping. I think it will grow more in meaning as she’s older? That’s up to her. A friend asked how much of the time was great with her and it was hard to admit only 50%. But at her age—- that is just real.

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Welp it's 430 am on a Friday & I've not yet slept due to pain so... let's do a life update with Dr.M!

Where to begin... I guess with how things are with L & The House Gremlins.

Things between me & L are still really great. Honestly the last month has been crazy stressful starting the week before Thanksgiving. He got a chest infection & was down Friday thru the Monday of the week prior to Thanksgiving. The kids started their 2 week holiday visit that Friday so I handled EVERYTHING. Then Sunday night I felt sinus junk & the next morning woke up with 102°f fever & full on pneumonia. I apparently ran myself down & then a cold front happened. He tried to handle stuff on Monday but kept falling asleep in the kids' rooms & since they couldn't wake him they came to me. I was down til Thursday. Really should have been longer but Ari got his chest infection, so I had to take care of her while he worked. Kids left for the weekend (Ari with very explicit instructions on what she needed to kick the infection) & when they all came back Monday, Ari was still sick & so was Zel. So Monday & Tuesday I took care of them because they asked for me specifically every time. Wednesday I realized how burned out L was, so I handled everything til Saturday when the kids were gone again. Wednesday was baking & prep, Thursday was Thanksgiving proper, which I cooked for (because L was legit just going to order a pizza), Friday was clean up & general kid nonsense. L got 3 days of video games. The following Monday, I was down due to an upcoming cold front & he learned at the beginning of work that a coworker he was close with took their life the night before. I was down until Thursday because on Tuesday the front was serious enough that the temp dropped 20 degrees in an hour. He basically did the bare minimum to get by, going to work then coming home & making sure we both ate. Since then I've been ok, and have been able to help him through his grief & keep him going til Christmas break (which starts the end of next week).

Despite ALL of that (plus me suspecting I am having a hormone issue due to the fact that my body/emotional state has resembled my severe PMS for 2.5 months now without any period action; so I'm overly sensitive, overly emotional, & hornier than I've ever been in my life) we've still not had any fights or anything like that. We both just make sure that we openly communicate with each other about how we are feeling & what we need or have the capacity to handle, then act accordingly to ensure we are supporting each other & both our needs are met to the best of our ability while treating each other with kindness & understanding.

This is like an actual healthy relationship and it's fucking dope. But also neither of us is accustomed to such a thing so it's been an adjustment & a learning experience.

The House Gremlins... so you might remember that at the start of their 2 week stay, Vin was still basically attempting to bully me. He legit asked L if he was getting rid of L's old couches & when L confirmed it, this child looked me in my face & asked L what he is gonna do when we break up because Ex1 or Ex2 scares me off with threats. (I acted like I didn't hear him & L basically laughed & said that due to my life experiences, people don't frighten me. The subtext was that the exes specifically don't frighten me... because I grew up with people so much worse than them tbh.) Well, since that first Sunday afternoon when he turned it around, he's been great. Hasn't given me any trouble when I ask him to do stuff, has volunteered to help with things, & has been talking to me about Pokemon Go since he got his smartphone back. He even called me a few nights ago to ask if his dad had dress shoes he could borrow for an event.

Zel is happy as a clam with my existence. Out of the 3, she's been the least resistant to my presence. She took to manners & such really quickly. Plus, if I lay out clear rules about using certain stuff I have (like [Dr. M's] Special Markers) she follows the rules to the letter so she can keep using them.

Ari... has been a butt when she doesn't like what I say or gently call her out for doing something she shouldn't but beyond that seems all good.

So I'm fully integrated into the house. Still the first choice when there's a problem. Still the one who gets asked about baking, dinner, or doing ridiculous jazz.

All in all, super dope.

The Spawn situation is... not dope. She's basically started peddling her pity party "it's so hard to be broke at 18, trying to learn to be an adult without parents" to all my friends now in addition to family... while living for free at my Dad's, basically acting like it's her fucking house, while he pays the bills and her dog has become his dog in that she now sleeps with him & he is the one who walks her, plays with her, buys her toys, treats, and food. She's supposedly moving to Oklahoma with her 'bestie' (a guy she's known since freshman year) & The Bf (yep he came back & they scream at each other DAILY) for a lab tech job in an ER. However I doubt that will work out since she's already ranting to The Bf about not being able to work in a hospital because of 'classism'.

"Dr. M, why the quotes around the word classism?"

Oh because she's misusing the term and is deeply misinformed but ignores or screams at anyone who attempts to correct her. She is referring to her hearing second hand from a person who hasn't ever worked in healthcare that doctors & nurses look down on techs and treat them like trash. Multiple people who have actually worked in healthcare have told her that is not commonplace anymore, as most know that lab techs/phlebotomists are an indispensable part of the healthcare system in that they are diagnostically necessary.

But she isn't ever mistaken so... she ain't trying to hear that.

I've not spoken to her but have heard things from friends & Dad. Oof. I really hope she grows out of this.

Oh! Also I've regained all but 5 lbs of the weight I lost the month before I came here despite my multiple illnesses & bouts of pain puking in the last 2 months. That and my energy levels remind me that I made the right choice. I love her dearly but I warned her repeatedly that once she hit 18 I wasn't going to put up with the abusive disrespectful bull anymore. She didn't believe me. Her bf warned her. She didn't believe him. Dad warned her. She didn't believe him. Hell, the oldest of my younger cousins warned her. Kid still decided to fuck around over and over and over & is continually shocked and 'doesn't understand' why she's finding out.

Also you know stuff with her is bad when my Dad (who has the patience of a saint & endless kindness for people he loves) is going on at length about being stoked to have them move tf out. In contrast, he was sad I was leaving but also happy that I was finally putting myself first & not letting her just straight up kill me.

Plus he really likes L. They text CONSTANTLY about hockey & the nerdass shit they both are super into that I only have knowledge about by being in proximity of my father most of my life. Like 2 days ago, L went on for like 20 mins about... idk some hockey shit. He suddenly looked at me (because I will listen to him talk about anything forever, but get a sorta glazed over look if I have no clue what he's on about) and said "This is a conversation for your dad, huh?" I confirmed. Then yesterday I told my dad about it because I gave them each other's numbers for emergencies (plus I have his mom's number so...). He immediately asked what hockey nonsense he was talking about. I explained the bits I could remember super vaguely & he started laughing & knew EXACTLY what L was talking about. (I mean, I guess he did because he said a name & I threw up my hands and said "I don't fucking know! I guess?") I obviously relayed this interaction to L... who immediately said "Oh yeah! I have his digits!", picked up his phone & started texting my dad about Lord of the fucking Rings.

Goddamned nerds.

[machinegunbun]

this is based on a true story and i feel stupid typing out this novel

I slept with someone miles from home whenever I was 21 who looked suspiciously like Colson some details have been edited in order to protect identities/obscure timelines

Also shitty and boring it’s a rough draft forgive my URL also thought I could changw it when I made it omg

I’m gonna send this in pieces bc it just disappeared (I can’t take the hint omg)

~££~

The sound of pans clanging against a cold, concrete floor snap you back to your senses and also prompt you to press a Bluetooth earbud further into your brain, to drown it all out and get back to the flow. As the beat pounds on and on into your canal, aggressive lyrics soothing your movements into a ballet-esque orchestra repeating the task in front of you, you begin wrapping prepped food like a machine once again. Although burns, cuts, and bruises sting across your body (some of your trade, some for fun, and some from flat out vices) you pay no mind, as it is keeping you heavily grounded; Just as well, the crisp, wet, refreshing air (just faintly tinged with cigarette smoke,) of the emergency exit door wide open billow against your back, providing necessary healing and much needed relief from the aching muscles underneath your ratty shirt.

In the middle of your last piece of the steam table puzzle, you realize someone must be smoking this cigarette you smell? And it had been quite some time since your last, so it made you suddenly grit your teeth at the craving. Quickly checking the clock, you realize it is midnight, and you’re likely the last 2 in the store, so you need to hurry it up and finish cash drop. After all, it would be a long walk home in Cleveland, Ohio sleet.

You are jarred from your thoughts with a frigid, slender finger hooking your headphones around them and out of your ears. As you realize what Chipotle veteran is still left standing alongside you, you quickly pause the music and wipe your hands on a nearby towel before turning to face him.

“My bad I’m not done yet, if I’m holding you up Colson. I only have to stick this in the walk in, and count registers.”

A chuckle escaped the blonde don. He threw his hands up, so that you had to look up to see the tall, mysterious creature, as if to surrender. “I’m not a boss man, take your time. I just wanted to see if you needed a square. It’s been since lunch rush you had a break.” He stops to look at you sternly, although in fascination. “And you were here before me.”

“That’s okay,” you reassure, stacking bowls in your arms neatly, “I have to go by the gas station after this to get some.”

Colson begins snatching things from you to pace alongside you towards the cooler. “Let me help you. Take a break, I’ll GIVE you a cig, dude.”

You cringe at dude, because that is how everyone saw you no matter how many days you came in with make up and a clean apron. Nevertheless, you were grateful, and you told him as much.

You had become comfortable in the job itself the past 18 months, and you knew every employee from sheer silent and thoughtful observation, but you were sure this was the most you had talked to Colson (or the other, less attractive crew either, for that matter) and weren’t quite as content with small talk or favors. You noted sometime last week he must be having a hard time when you had to step on the line for him after an altercation with a customer, which he walked out over. First time in a year and a half, so you knew it must be serious.

Once the task was completed, Colson abruptly grabs you by the arm and forces a menthol into it.

“Let’s do that first and then we’ll blow this joint.” Ever the jokester, as he says this, he winks and pulls a joint from behind his ear.

“You got tricks,” I laugh

We walk out the back and Colson hops up onto a stack of Buffalo Rock crates to light the J. You walk a safe distance from him to light your much appreciated cigarette.

“So you don’t talk much,” Colson hisses, taking a big inhale, before continuing as he keeps the joint from running, “but I know you smoke, cause your backpack always REEKS, dude.” He cracks a smile, eyes low and beautiful eyelashes glistening in the flurries swirling around you.

You nod in acknowledgement, no sense denying that. “It’s for my glaucoma,” you joke dryly.

Colson snorts and chokes before leaning out with the bud to pass it.

“So how you be doing that shit all day? Lifting dishpans bigger than you and shit, doubles 6 days a week?” Colson inquires, and if it weren’t wishful thinking you would say he was checking you out. Hopefully not just to see if you’re a robot.

You smile meekly. “Well, you do it, too,” you remind.

“Yeah but I’m not a girl. I’m… Well, look at me,” he boasts playfully from atop his King of the Hill stack, arms spread out to show off, as the makeshift throne wobbles slightly below. “I’m six-foot-foe,” he smirks, holding fingers up as he annunciates.

You have to laugh at his gloating. “Well, as long as I want to eat, I’ll be here,” you dismiss as gently as you can. try as you might, This brings up the uncomfortable memory of your first month here, when Colson silently pushed a plate of steak towards you on your break after watching you struggling to stay vertical.

Colson knits a brow as brushes your fingertips softly to take the blunt back. “Another question, do you really be walking home, alone, in this shit every night?” He motions to the snow beginning to swirl.

“Yeah, I do what I have to. It was rough at first, now it’s like meditation. Only, like, 15 minutes,” you dismiss. You know you could have a car by now if you could give up the pills, and you feel the shame, all too familiar, welling up like a tight ball in your stomach.

“Well I can tell you you ain’t doing that shit tonight,” he affirms seriously, “cause I got a whip now!” His tone of concern Cascades easily info one of excitement.

You’re blushing now, whyyy? You’d been able to avoid everyone up to this point, sans your dealer. “You really don’t have to do that,” you say, though the wind off your face did sound more and more intoxicating as it whipped around the two of you.

“I INSIST,” he barks, putting the roach out between two fingers.

You make quick work of counting the registers while Colson stared on, expression unreadable. You grow more self conscious with each single you lay down , but try to ignore it.

“Damn, you a pro at this,” he snorts, sticking the same stack of hundreds through the bill counter over and over. “You one with the bands or something. Almost faster than this thing,’ he motions to the machine on the desk.

"And that’s a wrap,” you conclude, stacking drawers inside the safe with a quickness. “I’m just gonna change and we can leave.”

Cautiously and curiously, Colson stands in the doorway, waiting.

“Oh, my bad, you might wanna do that in private,” he smirks, stepping to the side.

Quickly you pull the door closed to the tiny office and pretend you aren’t trying to see if Colson is looking thru the small glass window, while you quickly strip to a crop top, sweatpants and a light jacket. Once finished, you attempt to gather your composure, and exit to find him scrambling to gather his as well.

You head in silence to his car, a used ‘96 Toyota. Once inside, Colson shakes and rubs his hands together, flicking a heater on immediately. “Sh-it, it is freezing,” he remarks, warming his hands by his mouth, eyes grazing across you, “aren’t you dying in that??” He motions to your flannel.

“Business as usual,” you say. If only he knew how many pharmaceuticals and trauma went into that demeanor.

“Shid, fuck that,” he resists, and begins digging in his backseat. “Here, this is Slim’s, wear it to make me feel better.”

You slip the jacket over your lap and give a nod of appreciation. You hated feeling like a homeless hopeless.

Colson reaches for the auxiliary cord and stops himself from pulling his phone from his pocket. You try hard not to stare at his briefs peeking over his belt.

“Let’s see what you’re bobbing your head to all day,” he smiles, hand out.

You oblige, only to realize who it was paused on.

“Oh, wait, not that playlis–”

“Dawg, is this my shit??” Colson almost screams, although curiously he doesn’t seem creeped out, he’s… Excited?

“Uh…” You bite your lip. “You… Did promote it constantly. Well, still do,” you stammer.

“No, no. Do NOT be embarrassed, this is fuckin sick! Incredible,” he whispers in disbelief, hooking up the cord, as he pulls a devil’s horn with the other hand. “We have a fan!” He triumphs before putting it in reverse and backing away.

“So, I was thinking…” He trails, fingers drumming almost nervously on the steering wheel, “we could hang at my place for a bit? Our names are next to each other on the schedule, so I know you have TWO whole days off, too,” he reminds, almost shutting down any attempt at refusal.

“I have smoke,” you offer, “but no wraps.”

Colson grins big. “Perfect, I got both at the house.”

***

[vantaenims]

bittersweet | yoongi

pairing: idol!yoongi x reader

genre: established relationship au | fluff, bit of angst

word count: 7.6k

warning/s: alcohol consumption.

summary: Being miles away from you, Yoongi’s starting to feel like he’s missing out in your life and he can’t help but be guilty about it hence the reason why he made it his mission to be with you as much as possible now that he’s back home.

Part of BTSGhostieBingo (idol!au prompt)

masterlist

all rights reserved © vantaenims - do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

—

Yoongi has his hand around the steering wheel, drumming his fingers against it whilst his other arm is placed beside the window, knuckles pressed against his temple as he impatiently stared at your door for about five minutes now. Unlocking his phone, he was about to text you again until a blue bubble popped up saying ‘wait’ as a reply to his first text when he told you he’s outside already, making him wonder what’s taking you so long.

During your call last night, you mentioned to Yoongi that you’re running low on food and that you’ll be going to the grocery store tomorrow, causing him to immediately tell you that he’ll join and accompany you even though he still has a song that he needs to work on which he didn’t told you since you’re probably going to decline his offer to help if you happen to know it.

It’s a song he’s been working on ever since the tour started which is exactly three and a half months ago but he only got to finalize it last night just so he could spend the weekend with you hence the reason why he’s running low on sleep for today but it’s not like that mattered to him right now.

Given the circumstances of his idol life, the majority of the time spent in your relationship is being far away from each other that’s why he tries to make up for the lost time by being with you almost every day ever since he got back last week.

Truth be told, Yoongi never really believed Long Distance Relationships could work and as a matter of fact, he thought that this relationship would just be some sort of a fling to him, bearing in mind that it’s hard for him to enter in a fully committed relationship given his hectic life but luckily, his opinion about it changed when you two somehow managed to make it work - for about two years already and more years to come.

His thoughts were then cut off as soon as he heard a knock coming off from the window of the passenger seat, unlocking the doors once he saw that it was only you whom he'd been waiting all this time.

“Finally, what were you doing for the past ten minutes?” 

“Hello” you greeted in such a cheery voice as you always do whilst you leaned towards Yoongi to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Did you just got out of the shower?” Yoongi chuckled as soon as he saw how the upper half of your hair is dry while the other half is still damp.

“Sorry, i just woke up when i read your text that you’re on your way” you said as you buckled yourself in your seat.

“I got out of my house at 2 p.m.” Yoongi said, looking at the time that’s displayed on his touch screen stereo, “What time did you sleep?”

“I think it was about 1:30 or 2 in the morning” 

“You’ve slept for twelve hours!?” Yoongi bewilderingly looked at you, slightly jealous at how you’ve managed to get a full sleep while he’s only running on four hours of sleep even though he willfully did that on purpose.

Of course, he wouldn’t tell you the lengths he had to go just so he could free his time for today  because knowing you, you’d probably scold him and tell him to just rest which he thinks is surprisingly the last thing he wants to do, not when time’s limited for him as he needs to leave in a few days to continue the tour.

“It’s just one of those lazy days” you said whilst yawning as you stretched your arms to fully awaken yourself.

“You haven’t eaten anything yet then?” 

“Not yet but I’m fine, I don’t really feel that hungry” you smiled, grabbing Yoongi’s free hand to intertwined them with yours when he gave you a discontented look that didn’t last for long as he return back the smile, raising your intertwined hands to kiss the back of your hand before he freed his hand to switch the gear.

Yoongi proceeded to drive towards the direction of the grocery store where the grocery is but he thought that a little detour won’t hurt, not when that detour is towards the Mcdonald’s Drive Thru.

“I’ll have the six pieces McNuggets meal and can you make the drink and fries into large, thanks.”

As soon as Yoongi got the paper bag, he then placed it on your lap as he continued to drive to exit the drive thru and onto your real destination, not even sparing you a look, making you laugh at how he’s still trying to appear so nonchalant after all these years when he does caring things like this but it’s fun to tease him when he’s acting to be one.

“Aww Yoongs, Thank you” you pinched his cheek which only caused him to scoff as he tried to remove your hand away from his face even though you could clearly see he’s trying to hide his smile as he rolled his eyes.

--

It has been a year since your relationship with Yoongi was announced to the public but you still have to be very cautious whenever you two go out in public as to not raise any unwanted attention and you were both given a set of rules that you need to abide with but there’s this one rule you always seem hard to follow - lessen any displays of affection in public as much as possible.

You put on your mask and put the hood of your jacket up once Yoongi turned off the engine as he followed you in disguising himself, wearing his black bucket hat and mask. As you got out of the car, your hand instinctively went to reach towards Yoongi’s until you realized the situation you both are in, causing you to keep your hands inside the pockets of your jacket as you walked distantly beside him. 

It was weird for you to act so secretive when you two started to date and it was way too hard when you both have to keep your meetings a secret when your relationship got official like that time when you were told that you can only eat out in public at this designated place which is an exclusive restaurant that’s owned by one of Yoongi’s trusted friends for the sake of protecting both of your privacy.

Eventually, talks about your relationship with Yoongi gradually died down after it was publicly announced as time passed by though it can’t be helped that it’ll be sometimes brought up in one of their interviews even though it’s totally unnecessary in the first place but you guessed that you just have to live and deal with it.

“What do you want for dinner?” Yoongi asked as he got one of the carts from the aisle, volunteering to push it around while you scan for food.

“Are you going to cook dinner?” you looked back at him with wide eyes, a surge of excitement crashing at the news.

Yoongi knows how big of a fan you are of his cooking and he’s certain about it because you basically bombard him with messages whenever you get a sudden craving for it or how you’ll express your disappointment whenever you buy something he would cook only for it to be compared, saying how it’ll never taste as good as his which he’s taken pride of.

“Does steak and mashed potatoes sound good?” Yoongi asked as he put the frozen sirloin into the empty cart only to see that it wasn't empty anymore as he spotted the bottle of red wine.

“I knew you’d say my favorite, that’s why i got the wine”

“You never liked the taste of wine”, Yoongi stated, remembering that time he brought a wine with him when he visited your house only for it to be only consumed by him as you can never stand anything that tastes bitter which is one of the things he first learned about you.

But there was that one instance when you got him amused when you decided that you’ll be drinking with him although it’s totally way out from what he expected. The memory is still as clear as day when he remembered you walking out of his kitchen with a wine glass on hand  that you placed on the centerpiece table of his living room.

“Are you going to have a wine?” Yoongi asked with his brows raised, settling his glass filled with wine on top of the table.

“I thought it’s not fair for you to drink alone so might as well join you” you adjusted yourself as you sat down on the carpeted floor beside Yoongi.

“You really don’t have to drink -” Yoongi didn’t get to finish his sentence when you whipped out a grape juice box behind your back, watching as you poked the covered hole with it’s straw to squeeze out the contents into the glass.

“Cheers?” you said as you swirled the liquid in the glass, making it look as if it’s the same wine he’s drinking and Yoongi can’t help but laugh at your quirky attempt. 

“A grape juice?”

“Hey, wine is also a grape juice except it’s fermented and i can never like anything that tastes bitter so what do you expect?” you reasoned out but nonetheless find the whole thing funny too.

Yoongi can only watch in delight as you get more defensive about the topic of grape juice vs wine, convincing him that both of the beverages are sourced from the same fruit, the only difference is that the other one tastes bitter whilst the other one tastes sweet.

“It’s okay baby, it’s the thought that counts” 

You stopped yourself from talking as soon as you heard the term of endearment come out of Yoongi’s mouth. It was always you who would call him ‘baby’ until now and you can’t help but blush as you try to conceal your growing smile when you remember what Jungkook told you.

“You are indeed cute when you’re drunk” you looped your arm around his as you rested your chin on his shoulder to kiss his cheek, making his smile bigger.

Yoongi clinked his glass with yours before he downed the remaining wine in one go as he try to quickly cover up the embarrassment he felt although there’s no use in hiding it anymore once he felt how warm his face feels like, not knowing if it’s the effect of the alcohol or if it’s your effect - obviously, it’s you.

--

“Can we grab a coffee first before we leave?” Yoongi asked once he felt his energy slowly depleting, the cup of coffee he had in the morning clearly out of his system now that he’s feeling a bit grumpy which is more of a reason that he needs to refuel with caffeine.

“Sure” you said as you closed the trunk of the car after you helped him load the groceries, following Yoongi to the cafe that’s right beside the grocery store.

Thankfully, there aren’t many people dining inside the cafe that’s why you’ve gotten to the counter right away as Yoongi did the work of telling your orders to the attendant whilst you scanned the cakes that are displayed as you munch on a pack of Skittles you got back in the store.

“Do you want anything else?” Yoongi asked just before he could finalize the orders.

“I’m fine, there’s no red velvet cake” you said as you managed to stand beside Yoongi, a piece of Skittles in between your fingers ready to go straight to Yoongi’s mouth until you stopped when you felt the cashier attendant’s gaze on you as if she’s trying to recall why you looked so familiar.

You’ve clearly forgotten that you’re still out in public and that your face is perfectly visible as you’ve lowered your mask to eat but it’s too late to hide your identity as you saw how her eyes widened once she recognized who you are. She definitely got starstruck once she glanced beside you where Yoongi’s standing though she remained professional and offered a smile towards the both of you which you both gladly returned with a bow of your head.

“Your orders will be ready in a while”, she said as she handed the receipt to Yoongi who let out a little chuckle as you both made your way towards the claiming area, still finding it hilarious how you quickly retrieved your hand to eat the candy instead when the attendant recognized you.

“I think i should eat this later” you muttered as you placed the mask back again on your face, sealing the pack of candy for later. 

Looking over your side, you bumped your hips against Yoongi’s when you saw his shoulders still visibly shake from laughter and how his eyes turned into little crescents from smiling. 

Yoongi went over the counter as soon as your orders were called, getting his Iced Americano while he handed to you your Caramel Macchiato, muttering a thank you to the staff as you made your way out of the shop and back to the parking lot.

“Ah finally, i could eat in peace” you said as you got inside the car, discarding your mask and taking your hood down. You reopened the pack of Skittles, pouring them over your palm as you straight out put it on your mouth and also pouring more for Yoongi but he offered his palm instead when you reached your hand out to feed it to him.

“Say ah” you said as you picked one piece of candy instead, zooming in your finger like an airplane into his mouth.

“What am i? A child?” Yoongi playfully grimaced but obeyed nonetheless as you popped them into his mouth.

“Yes you are” you chuckled, resting back in your seat as you raised your leg to tuck it under the other leg, “Why don’t we play a game and you try to guess the flavor of the skittle i’ll feed you?”

You strictly instructed Yoongi that he could not cheat and inspect the color of the candy, telling him he could only look straight ahead at the road, causing him to laugh, saying how he’s going to look straight either way as he needs to keep his attention on driving you both home safely.

“Raspberry”, Yoongi said in full certainty.

“How can you tell Raspberry apart from Wild Cherry?” you squint your eyes at him, skeptical if he cheated or he’s just really good at guessing it because you’re positive that those two flavors taste exactly the same - for you, atleast.

“Maybe my sense of taste is better than yours”

“Yeah you’ve got all the flavors right” you’re impressed to say the least as you try to feed Yoongi another piece of Wild Cherry to test him again until he gently grabbed your hand to stop you as he felt his throat itch from eating too much sweets.

“Doesn’t your throat itch from eating too much sweets?” Yoongi looked over at you, watching as you devoured the candy you were going to feed him instead and as if that isn’t sweet enough, you grabbed your caramel based beverage to sip on it which just made Yoongi cringe in distaste.

“I just really like anything that’s sweet”

“You’re going to get Diabetes at an early age” Yoongi warned as he always has but he knows that his warning will just be disregarded as you continue to satisfy your sweet cravings as you always do.

“That’s why i’m eating as much sweets as i can before i’ll not be able to”

“What kind of logic is that?” 

“You like anything that’s bitter as much as I like sweets so shut up” you shrugged as you pointed out but you totally get that he’s just looking out for you and you appreciate that.

“I atleast won’t get any chronic disease from it”, Yoongi retorted, chuckling at how silly this banter is to begin with and that reminded how adverse you two are and he’s not just talking about your taste preferences but personality wise too.

You and Yoongi are too different from each other - you’re more of an outgoing and friendly person while he is more reserved and quiet one. All his life, Yoongi thought he’d prefer someone who’s similar to him yet here he is, eating up his own thoughts as he eventually got you and he’s not saying that as a bad thing because he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your relationship is a living testimony that opposites do attract and it’s not as bad as what everyone makes it out to be though there were still a lot of differences and barriers you both have to overcome in the beginning of the relationship which he thinks is inevitable for every relationship to work.

The reason why you two get along so well is because you complement and balance each other, like how you both are able to strengthen each other’s weaker aspects. You’re always able to get him out of his comfort zone and he could always let you be vulnerable to him, let you out of that happy facade you’re always trying to keep up.

In conclusion, you bring out the best in him and he could hope you felt that way about him too, making you two a perfect pair, not even minding a bit how cheesy that thought is to him because it’s only a matter of fact.

--

“Why are you still here?” Yoongi sets aside the sirloin he’s been seasoning, getting distracted how you’re standing so close to him as you peer over his shoulders at what he’s doing much like a curious kid.

“What should i do next?” you asked him for the second time even though Yoongi told you that he’ll just call you whenever dinner’s ready but you’re so persistent in helping him out, causing him to gave in as he told you that you can set up the table which he think is done now that you’re pestering him again.

“Lounge in the sofa, i guess” 

“But i want to help you, Yoongs” you whined, making him chuckle, “Should i peel these potatoes?”

“I’ll do it” Yoongi grabbed the potato from you as well as the bowl that’s filled with it, keeping it close to his side so that you won’t be able to touch it and help him like what you’re suggesting, keeping in mind that he’s doing all of this to make up for the times he’s away.

Guilt would always creep up on him whenever he’s far away from you because you don’t deserve to be neglected like this, dating someone who’s mostly physically absent that’s why he’s doing the most of his ability as much as he can whenever comes back home so that he could actually fulfill the duties and responsibilities of being your boyfriend.

“Let me atleast wash the dishes later then?” you frowned with a pout, causing Yoongi to shake his head at you as he sheepishly smiled.

“Fine if that’ll get you to stop” Yoongi kissed your forehead before he diverted back his attention towards the potatoes but before he could even do so, you grabbed both sides of his face as you inched towards him until he felt your warm lips on his.

Yoongi closed his eyes as he kissed you back, hands almost going towards your waist to reel you in once you kissed him fervently until he remembered how his hands are still dirty and covered with sauce and seasonings for the steak but that didn’t stop him from wanting to deepen the kiss as he slowly tilted his head to the side only for you to break the kiss.

“Right, you don’t need my help” you teased as you peck him once more and also patted his bum right before you left to disappear towards the living room.

Yoongi scoffed that you got him stunned for a moment but nonetheless busied himself as he went back in preparing the dinner that didn’t take too much time to finally get it ready now that you’re not there to bother him anymore.

Withdrawing a plate from your cabinet, Yoongi then began to place the mashed potato first whilst he set the steak beside it, dripping some sauce around it as he tried to recreate those  plating presentations that’s normally seen in high end restaurants.

Yoongi grinned as soon as he entered the dining area, catching the sight of how you set the table into some sort of a candlelit dinner that’s accompanied with pieces of nearly wilted rose petals which he suspected came from the bouquet he bought for you last week but it now surrounds the four sides of the table.

“Y/N! Dinner’s ready” Yoongi called out as he placed the plates on the table. It didn’t take less than five seconds before you emerged in the dining room with a delighted look adorning your face.

“Oh wow it smells really good” you enclosed Yoongi in a back hug as you tipped your toes to kiss him on the cheek, “Thank you, baby.”

Yoongi hummed as he pulled your chair back, guiding you to sit before he made his way to his place as the gentleman he is. Picking up the bottle of wine, uncorking it as he poured it over his glass and onto yours right after but he let the mouth of the bottle hover on the rim of your glass before letting it pour as he looked at you.

“You sure you’d like some wine?” 

“It’s fine”

“If you say so” Yoongi smirked, filling your glass up even though he knows full well that you’re only going to take a sip or two before giving it all up. Clinking both of your glasses, Yoongi watches you whilst he takes a sip of his wine only for him to chuckle after he has seen you scrunching your nose from the bitter taste. 

“It tastes better with this” Yoongi said as he cut up a portion of his steak to feed you with it. The dissatisfied look on your face now gone as the bitterness mixed with the savory taste only made the flavor stronger.

“Your brother told me he taught you how to cook one”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Yoongi tried to rack his brain, recalling if he had ever informed you that his brother is the one who taught him to master the art of cooking but he can’t remember telling you that, knowing how he likes to take credit in his cooking skills.

“Your mom invited me over to their house on my birthday and your brother took in charge of cooking the food. I’ve sent you pictures, remember?”

You took out your phone to went over your photo gallery, scrolling over the pictures until it landed over the series of photos you took on the day of your birthday, showing Yoongi a picture of you and Holly nicely cuddled up in the sofa, earning a warm smile from him and on the corner of the picture he spotted the bouquet of tulips he assumes is the one he arranged in advance right by the local flower shop near you, instructing them to deliver it on your doorstep with some note he had written himself.

Lastly, you showed him the selfie you’ve taken on the dining table that’s filled with a sumptuous meal along with his whole family gathering around - his mom, dad, older brother and Holly whom his brother carried in his arms to fit in the picture. 

“I’m glad you had fun” Yoongi gave you a faint smile as he felt his guilt creeping up on him once again.

It has been two months since he had dearly missed your birthday because of the tour and he felt bad for missing out on a special day like this but that’s how it’s always going to be and he hates how this is conceived to be normal in your relationship when it’s unfair, specially for you.

You must’ve noticed his mood faltering a bit as you’ve put your phone down the table, placing your hand on top of him to squeeze it, making him stop focusing on slicing over his steak as he directed his eyes at you to give you a warm smile that indicates not to worry about him.

“I think the tour must’ve been a whole lot of fun, no? How was it this time?” you said, sipping on your wine that had you still scrunching your nose though albeit less noticeable now as you get more accustomed to the taste.

“It’s still great but more than ever now that we get to see more of our fans” Yoongi beamed a smile, taking pride how their hard work and the support from their fans has taken them to where they are now like how they were able to do stadium tours around the world or how they’re able to play concerts in places they’ve never imagine which is something beyond their goal and expectations.

“I’m proud of all of you and will always be, how about we toast on that?” you raise your glass as you take a big gulp of the alcohol out of courage which is a totally bad idea as it had made you immediately regret it, coughing up the bitterness away, causing you to give up the drink all in all.

“Just grab your grape juice from the fridge” Yoongi suggested, chuckling when you stood up to go over the kitchen to do as told and guessed right that you’ll never be able to withstand the alcohol.

The dinner went on with Yoongi urging you to talk more about what you’ve been doing lately but you protested that it has been practically boring and uneventful like his which he interjected that it goes the same for him as well. Apart from performing, he spent most of his time holed up in his hotel room to produce and compose songs or sleep like you’ve never known this or how he’ll just go out to buy some music equipment he needs for his studio.

He’s pretty sure you’ve told him over the phone the story of how you’ve managed to step on a puddle that reached up to your shins on your way home from work, remembering how you’ve complained that it ruined your favorite pair of suede flats.

“Have i told you about this before?” you said, noticing how he continues to smile unfazed like he’s already familiar with this story.

“Yeah but go on” Yoongi assured you that he doesn’t mind at all if he’s heard it before. Nothing compares to all those facetimes and phone calls because this is what he truly missed - getting to talk to you in person with no distance and time difference in between you two.

Soon as you know it, the table looks almost empty now that all the food are completely gone except for Yoongi’s wine glass that’s still filled with the alcohol as he still continuously drink from it while you opted to go for dessert and eat the cookies ‘n cream ice cream flavored you’ve got in the grocery.

The conversation’s still pretty going at this point with you doing most of the talking as you relaxly laid back against the chair with your crossed legs and Yoongi would just stare at you as he rested his elbow against the table with his cheeks pressed against his palm, casually laughing or putting in a few words.

“Tired?” you asked once you noticed his half lidded eyes and how he’s blinking them ever so slowly.

“No, i’m just a bit buzzed i guess” Yoongi denied as he tried to fight off the exhaustion but you did not buy his excuse as you abandoned your pint of ice cream by placing it on the table to stand up and get the plates to put them towards the sink.

Yoongi tailed behind you as he got the pint of ice cream to put them back in the freezer and the wine glasses which you got off of his hand as soon as he was next to you.

“I got this, why don’t you go up and pick something to watch”

“I’m not tired” you laughed now that Yoongi’s cute side is starting to come out as he placed his head on your shoulders with his arms around yours whilst you opened the faucet to run down water over the kitchenwares.

“Just go and let me do this” you turned around to push him away from you with all your might though it’s useless as he stubbornly stood his ground but nonetheless let you guide him when you grabbed his hand and led him towards the end of the stairs.

Standing on the first step, Yoongi leaned down to leave a kiss on top of your head that had you giggling whilst he told you to hurry up before he ascended to leave you to do your task. You ran back to the kitchen as you cleaned up the place as quickly as possible but still making sure not to miss a spot.

You wiped your wet hands with a towel now that you’re done with the dishes which leaves you to your routine of checking every corner of the first floor - unplugging the appliances, getting your water container in the fridge, and securely double checking the locks.

As you went up and open the door to your room, you were immediately greeted with a dimly lit light setting thanks to the television and on the edge of your bed, you see Yoongi clad in a loose white shirt and gray shorts that has been kept in your closet for times he chooses to stay over in your place as he drys his hair with the towel on his hands, signifying that he had just gotten out fresh from the shower.

“What are we going to watch?” you asked as you stood in front of Yoongi to grab the towel from his hand so that you could do the work of drying his hair instead.

“What do you want? I haven’t seen anything that’s interesting yet” Yoongi grabbed your waist to set you aside so he could have a good view of the television as he clicked on the remote to scan the films but still remained his hand on your waist even though you’re not obstructing the view anymore.

“Well, you decide. I’ll join you in a second” you detach yourself from Yoongi’s hold as you go over to your closet to grab some comfortable clothes to change into. You let the damp towel dry as you hang it on your chair before you could enter your bathroom to take a quick shower.

With his hair damp and unruly, Yoongi got up to go over your vanity table where your hair comb is as he drag it along his hair until he noticed the corkboard hanging on your wall just beside the table which he has never seen before, guessing you might’ve put it up while he was away.

It was filled with polaroid pictures of the both of you but mostly of Yoongi and he looked unaware in mostly all of it as you like to candidly take pictures of him but there are also random things attached to it like movie tickets, flower petals, and other things you deemed sentimental but what catches his attention the most is the tissue with some scribbled words on it.

It was a tissue from Baskin Robbins and it has a badly drawn stick figure on it with a text bubble on the side - ‘It’ll be okay’ is what’s written on it. The smudged black ink giving away that it has been sometime ago - two years ago to be precise.

If he remembers it right, he had drawn this when he picked you up from work that time and you remained silent for the whole ride, reasoning that it’s just one of those bad days at work. 

It was also a time when you still find it hard to be vulnerable around him given how the both of you just started dating and that just gave him an idea to go to an ice cream store first on the way to your house, knowing how sweets could always lift your spirits up.

You both got settled inside the car once you got your ice cream and finally be on your way to your house which is something you’ve been dying to do ever since you got from work. Yoongi’s clearly concerned for you but you’re glad he’s not pushing you to say anything but at the same time you felt bad for being silent for the whole time, not wanting to pass the burden you’re feeling.

“Here, have some tissue with you” Yoongi handed it over to you as he got the car out of the parking area until he felt your hand on top of his.

“Thank you, Yoongi” you said with glassy eyes and he’s glad that it’s what took for you to confide in him and for you to start trusting him enough that you managed to show the weak side you’re trying to conceal from him at the start.

Yoongi removed his hand from the tissue at the sound of the bathroom door opening as you came out with a towel wrapped around your hands, dressed in one of those short sleeved top and bottom silk pajama sets he got for you back when he was in Japan.

“I didn’t know you kept this”, Yoongi said with a smile tugging on his face.

You discarded your clothes towards the hamper as you came closer to Yoongi to see that he’s pertaining about the board you’ve recently hung, making you flushed at how he’s not supposed to even see how you keep every piece of something that just reminds you of your time with Yoongi but it’s just the way you are with how those pieces serves as a token of your memory.

“Yeah, I know it’s weird” you said as you look over the board and spot the receipt from the restaurant you both have your first date, embarrassed even more as you sit on the chair to remove the towel from your head as you focus instead on keeping it dry.

“It’s not weird, baby”

Yoongi enjoys making you fluster as much as you like doing it to him too that’s why he’s taken this as an opportunity to tease you more. He took the towel from your hand as he gently blotted and squeezed it against your hair much like what you did to him awhile ago, setting aside the hair you purposely let down to cover your face to the side and place it behind your ear.

“Ow be gentle, let me do it” you complained when Yoongi yanked your hair a bit as he combed through the tangles.

“Sorry, let me just take care of you” Yoongi swatted your hand away but his sweet words got you giggling and also a blushing mess.

As soon as your hair got fully combed, you stood up as Yoongi grabbed your wrist to drag you with him on the bed. He first got himself settled as he sat down with his back pressed against your headboard whilst he pulled you in to let you sit in between his legs, encircling his arms around you as you laid the back of your head on his chest.

“I really can’t find anything fun to watch, why don’t you choose?”

Getting the remote on the nightstand, you scan through the wide variety of movies as you read the plot and watch each trailer but nothing piqued your interest much as what Yoongi told you, sighing in discontentment as you turn off the television.

“Do you want to listen to some music instead?” you suggested, looking up to see Yoongi nod in agreement. You turned on the bluetooth speaker as you paired it with your phone, searching for some songs to play until you just thought of an idea that had you stifling your laughter.

“Ah why play this one?” 

Yoongi’s proud of his recently released mixtape but you had him cringing upon hearing Daechwita play which is the least thing he’s expecting for you to choose. His mixtape just doesn’t fit the mood right now, he’s thinking you’ll be playing those mellow songs you could easily sleep and cuddle into which is something he feels like doing tonight.

“Why? It’s your song” you chuckled even though you can’t clearly see Yoongi’s reaction right now but you just know he’s scrunching his face, “Fine, i’ll change it.”

You chose another mixtape to play and that is Honne’s No Song Without You. Pressing shuffle, the track By My Side instantly played that got you smiling as you remember how you thought of Yoongi when you first heard this song. Actually, all love songs remind you of Yoongi if that isn’t cheesy enough.

Humming along to the song, you grabbed Yoongi’s hand to face his palm towards you as you set your palm against his just to compare how small your hand is compared to him. You decided to trace along the lines with your fingers as you write down the letters of the word that perfectly describes what Yoongi is to you - Home.

“Are you going to do some palm reading and tell me about my future?”

“Hmm your future’s still pretty bleak but there’s one thing that’s clear”

“And what is it?”

“I’m in it” you said that had you giggling which also caused Yoongi to do the same.

“Of course you are”, Yoongi hugged you tighter, swaying the both of you side to side as he kissed your cheek.

You twisted your body to the side so that you’ll be able to put your arms around his neck, the side of your face still remaining on his chest whilst you closed your eyes as you get even more comfortable in this position until you’ve thought of a better idea to make it more comfortable or rather relaxing for Yoongi.

“Lay down on your stomach” you commanded, sitting up straight that made Yoongi’s hold loosen around you.

“Why?”

“Let me take care of you” you repeated the words he told you, sitting yourself on the other side of the bed as you watched Yoongi plopped the side of his head on the pillow where he also kept his arms under. You then straddled his waist after he got himself settled, pressing both of your palms on his shoulder blades, massaging it gently to untie the knots.

Ever since Yoongi got back from tour, he did as much to be with you and to literally take care of you which didn’t go unnoticed - he helped you in assembling your bookshelf that you never bothered to open or how he even changed one of the bulbs from your chandelier that you didn’t notice had burnt out already. 

“Your muscles are a bit tense” you said as you dug the heel of your palm to apply more pressure to his shoulder that had Yoongi humming in pleasure, “Have you even rested properly ever since you got back?”

“I’m okay” you sighed, grabbing his shoulders as you instructed him to turn around so that he could face you but you remained to be straddling him still.

“Yoongi, you’re almost with me everyday and i know that you’re still working on some songs”

The least thing he wants right now is to make you worry about him because he’s the one that should be worrying about you when you’re always the one that’s being left behind here and no, he’s not actually worried but scared that it might literally happen with the two of you growing apart that one day you’ll wake up and suddenly feel the whole long distance thing to be overwhelming and unbearable.

“I just feel guilty for leaving you here and i also want to make the most out of the days i have left with you” Yoongi finally confessed as he sat himself up to be closer to you, hands on your waist as he drew circles on your exposed skin where your shirt rose up before his other hand made way to the side of your face to reel you in for a kiss.

Yoongi bit your lower lip, causing you to slightly open your mouth which he took as a sign for him to slid in his tongue to clash it with yours, making sure to kiss you gently and passionately as he could as he pour his raw feelings into it, wanting to savour the moment slowly rather than taking it in a rush.

The kiss was nothing but pure longing for each other - longing for all the times you’ve missed and for the time he’ll leave again which will be in three days to continue the Asian leg tour. It isn’t also a bad thing because when he comes to think of it, it’s the last part of the tour but that still isn’t an excuse to make Yoongi feel guilty again as he’ll be gone in a span of three months.

It was clear that your kiss is getting more eager as you play with the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling him in close as much as possible when you wrapped your legs around his waist whilst your other hand has made its way under his shirt, resting it above his chest where you can feel his heart that’s beating erratically.

You’re making it hard for Yoongi to take this slow reason why he detached his lips from yours, chuckling when he heard you emit a disappointed grunt but not for long when his warm lips then invaded the base of your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses as he work his way up to your jaw, pecking the side near your ear as he whispered.

“I’ve missed you”

He was about to kiss your cheek until you pulled him in by his shoulders, snuggling your face into the crook of his neck that had him quite puzzled at the sudden action but nonetheless let you do so as the both of you stayed like that for a while - you sitting on his lap with your legs around his waist and your arms securely around his neck, head still hiding from him while he rubbed your back and gently caressed your hair.

The warmth of your bodies and gentle touches against each other are exchanged between the two of you, not minding how you’re just basking in the silence as you solely focus on enjoying each other’s presence with the music making everything seem so melodramatic and it was just one of those moments you’d call to be bittersweet.

The silence between you two was soon gone as he heard you sniffling, alarming him even more when he felt hot tears falling onto his neck. Yoongi tried to pry you away as he leaned back to get a proper look at you but that just made you tighten your arms around him, burying your face even more into his neck.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, chuckling a bit to mask the reason why you’ve suddenly gotten so  upset, “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure about that?” Yoongi asked as he laid back down the mattress, joining you with him.

“I'm sorry, it’s just that i still can’t get quite used to it” your voice was muffled but he perfectly heard you and catched on that you’re referring to him leaving so soon again. Finally, he was able to see your face as you adjusted yourself, wiping the tears as you pressed one of your hands on his chest where you rested the side of your face onto.

“You don’t have to be sorry about it” Yoongi comforted you as he gently ran his thumbs along your cheek, “I should be the one saying sorry to you.”

“Yoongs, you don’t have to be sorry about it too” you leaned in towards his touch as you rested your hand on top of his that’s cradling your face, earning Yoongi a smile. 

“I know our relationship is far from normal and it’s sometimes hard for the both of us but I just want to assure you that the distance wouldn’t keep us apart. I won’t leave you because you’re my home and my safe space, Yoongi.”

It’s a rare sight to see Yoongi get emotional but here he is tearing up at your words and how you instantly eliminate the doubts and guilt he has been carrying with himself. Yoongi chuckled as he covered his eyes with his arm, making you laugh too with tears welling up your eyes at the sight of Yoongi crying as the emotionally sensitive person you are.

Turning to the side, Yoongi set you to lay beside him as you both completely faced each other, fondly staring at you whilst he thread his fingers in your hair that had you closing your eyes. Your left hand in between you two caught his attention, fingers immediately landing on your palm as he wrote down the word you’ve written on his.

Yoongi looked up at you as soon as you enclosed your hand around his, watching how your eyes are still close but a small smile is now adorning your face. He scooted closer until  your foreheads touched, closing his eyes as well but before he could drift off to sleep, he dearly whispered the words to express the same sentiment.

“You’re my home and I'll always come back for you.”

--

A/N: The tissue with scribbled words was based on irl and it just gets me soft everytime, reason why i had to write it down hehe. Anyways, hope you like this one and if you like, you could give me feedback about it hehe.

[angeltrapz]

helo beloved mutual connor, im sorry ur goin thru it rn but i come bearing asks n a heart emoji (💗): bcuz i have had this thought floatin around for a lil bit, wld love 2 hear ur takes on an Adam/Eric/Mallick (+ Art too if u want!) road trip vacation! how long wld they go, do they get motels or camp or just sleep in th car? whats everyone's favorite road trip snack? what sorta shit do they like 2 stop for? (weird tourist traps like giant balls of yarn etc, small town main street stores, cool looking restaurants, nature sites, Actual Destinations, so on n so forth!)

fjkdsd thank u beloved mutual adam,,, <3

ohhh I love tht idea!! road trip fics/hcs are one of my weaknesses,,

but um!! I rly like the idea of th four of them going camping a few hours up north!! (we... don't rly know where. SAW is set so just. imagine a vaguely rural campground lmao. I'm used to camping in th upper peninsula of MI so) it's smth tht Art did a lot w his family when he was growing up, so he's th most familiar w it - Eric went a few times as a kid too, Mallick went Once, n Adam has never rly been camping, w his family or otherwise (he's slept on a trampoline at one of his friends' houses once tho). Art is p excited abt it tbh, it's not exactly smth he gets 2 do often so he's got this whole list planned of things he wants 2 show them!!

it's easiest 2 just take a week in late August, bc they can head back home on a Friday n have the weekend to settle n readjust b4 th coming week + they have to go back 2 work. so they head out around ten on a Monday morning 2 kind of get ahead of th traffic (or at least try to). Art drives both bc he insists and bc he knows they can switch if he needs to, which he does later w Eric. it's a good couple hours (at least 3) b4 they get 2 th campground Art wants to take them to, so clearly it is Music Time + Adam made sure 2 bring CDs! a lot of that time is just spent vibing 2 th music and singing very, very loudly (ESP on Adam + Mallick's end). Art's up front like u three are so fucking goofy (affectionate), but eventually he starts singing too lmao.

Mallick starts th Colour Game, where they try 2 find a car fr every colour of th rainbow. it's smth Eric is familiar w as well bc he used 2 play it w Daniel sometimes, and it's good until they come to purple bc how often do u see purple cars??? so Adam's just like "we're not gonna find pink either" n tht's when this fucking pink pickup truck (noticeably spray-painted, + not done well) passes them n Adam just groans n thumps his head against th window. Mallick is like, trying rly hard not to laugh by pressing a hand over his mouth + Art is biting his lip, but Eric is very openly cackling bc "u see what happens when u assume???" (he gets a very light slap 2 th shoulder but it's still very gentle)

ANYWAY. favourite snacks!! Adam can eat Way Too Many Sour Patch Kids. sour anything, actually, as long as it's candy. yes his tongue hurts and no he doesn't regret it. Eric just gets goldfish bc he tends 2 get a lil carsick + bc it's a food tht's familiar n comforting, n he doesn't rly want 2 be eating anything Too heavy (he's up front w Art, so he can sit by a window in case he needs some fresh air at any point). Mallick likes m&m's, but he switches fr cheez-its every once in a while bc he can only eat so much chocolate. Art likes those peanut-butter filled pretzel bites! he's also partial 2 animal crackers tho. they also bring a good amount of snacks/things they can b sure th four of them like, bc yeah there's a lil store abt a half hour away frm their campsite + they can go there to pick up things if they need 2, but it's easier 2 bring things they like, too. (there's also a mcdonald's in tht town n. they do go there at LEAST twice.)

th campsite they stay at has a lake + a beach, n one of Art + Adam's fave things 2 do is walk along it to see if they can find anything interesting! Mallick goes sometimes too, but mostly he stays w Eric bc Eric can't do tht fr as long as Adam + Art can (not tht he's resentful of it tho). he n Mallick chill on th beach w a blanket (it's kind of like. not necessarily sandy?) n just kinda sit against/lay on each other n read sometimes. Adam + Art come back 2 where they're set up to find them sleeping n Adam has never been more thankful he thought 2 bring his camera!!

on th second day Art + Mallick want 2 go swimming, so th four of them come back out to th beach, but Adam stays out of th water + Eric stays w him. they both know th water will be cold, even if it's late summer, n Adam rly doesn't like being in cold water ESP if it's over his head/he can't touch th bottom. fr Eric th cold can b kind of painful, so they chill n walk along th beach fr a little bit n just talk. Adam gets some good pictures n even gets some of Eric! he also does take a selfie of them, he can't help it. he gets a couple of Mallick + Art too. it's honestly such a nice thing fr them n it just feels like they can breathe easy, not having 2 worry abt looking over their shoulders constantly (tho they're all getting better abt that).

th third day they spend around th campsite to kind of unwind n relax. they might walk th beach a little bit again, but mostly they just sorta chill n walk some of th trails around the campground itself. when night falls they light a small bonfire (Mallick is still iffy around fire, understandably) n they sit around it in their folding chairs w th cupholders (Adam gets red, Eric has green, Art gets blue, + Mallick gets dark green) n make s'mores. they talk abt anything n everything until they're barely able 2 keep their eyes open, n then after making sure th fire is pretty much out they kinda just stumble into th tent n none of them r awake for very long after (they specifically got one tht cld comfortably hold th four of them).

fourth day!! they pack up n head into another little town about 45 minutes away; it's bigger than th one around th campgrounds. after they get situated in a motel room w two beds, they do some window shopping + going into lil stores that interest them! Adam def buys some niche graphic tees tht aren't going 2 make sense to anyone other than th four of them n he's delighted abt it. I like 2 think Eric gets a worry stone, specifically made out of rose quartz. Mallick too, but his is made of amethyst! he also gets a rly cool multicoloured jacket in a thrift store they duck into. Art gets a hoodie w th town's name on it n he's pretty happy w that. they get a few more lil things, just little knick-knacks while they're there, n then they have dinner in this lil diner they'd walked past earlier bc it's inexpensive + the atmosphere is very lowkey n honestly just Nice. there's not a bunch of ppl, the servers r rly kind n the lights aren't too bright, which Eric rly appreciates. it's such a tender moment bc they're squeezed into a booth, Adam + Mallick on one side n Art + Eric on th other, n they're talking n laughing n stealing bites of each other's food n it's Comfortable.

then they head back to th motel n channel surf while unpacking enough 2 get to their sleep clothes. Adam + Eric r sharing a bed n Art + Mallick r sharing th other one, tho Adam is very tempted 2 just push them together so they're all close by (th distance btwn th beds isn't tht big to begin with, but it's the principle of th thing). mostly tho, until they go to bed, they're pretty much just all stretched out Everywhere. Adam is only discouraged frm jumping across th divide btwn th beds bc Art breaks out his Lawyer Voice, despite trying rly hard not to laugh, to say Yr Going To Hurt Yrself, Don't Do That. he grumbles n whines abt it but Adam knows he's right jdhjks (th way he sees it is like. he can b silly sometimes. he's Earned It, but he also trusts Art + wasn't super serious abt tht idea). eventually tho Eric can hardly keep his eyes open n Mallick is just straight up asleep while he's still sitting up so tht's when they all go to bed after making sure every1 is comfortable. they leave a lamp on.

fifth day they pack everything up again n stop 2 walk th trails of this lil park b4 they head home! there's a lil shop near th parking lot so they spend a lil bit of time looking around in there first. they probably pick up a few lil things, souvenirs, n Adam walks around 2 get some pictures. he gets this rly cool one while they're on a bridge, th sun peeking thru the clouds a lil bit n shining down on th water. he's super excited to develop tht one (but he's excited to develop All of them, bc this is his family!!!) + he n Art discuss whether or not they're gonna need another cork board lol. eventually tho they round back to th parking lot n on th way home, they stop at another lil hole-in-th-wall kind of place, but it's just as nice as the first one they'd been to. after tht Eric switches spots w Art n he drives them home!!

they're all exhausted when they get back but they have room to crash w each other while they nap so tht's what they do. they fall asleep all tangled together, Art stretched out w Eric's head on his chest, Adam curled against Eric's back, n Mallick w his head on Art's stomach. there r arms n legs everywhere n tht is okay. they're happy. they love each other. they had a lot of fun on their trip n they're tired, but they're comfortable!! tht's what it's all abt!!! it's just such a good n relaxing experience fr them after all th shit they've been thru.

[shineyma]

TAGGED BY @berestweys. thanks sweetheart!

I’m trying to write a fic and it is NOT HAPPENING so we’re gonna try disconnecting the brain via fun memes and see if it helps.

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? I have two hairbrushes! the one I use when my hair is wet is kind of abstract with blue, pink, purple, and gold splotches on a black background. the one I use when my hair is dry is rose gold. (rose gold paint, that is. it’s not like...a solid gold hairbrush. Just to clarify.) 

2. Name a food you never eat. meat! I’m vegetarian. also no thank you to mushrooms.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? this has changed in the last couple years and I can’t explain it. I used to always be too warm but for the last few years I’ve been cold just all the time. I spent all summer wearing sweaters.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? searching for inspiration via chores. I cleaned the bathroom. it did not help.

5. What’s your favourite candy bar? lion bar

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? I....think so? I have very vague memories of potentially attending an Astros game when I was a kid? but the keyword here is vague. very possible that was just a dream. I certainly haven’t done so in recent memory.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? "no, that doesn’t work.” (seriously, writing is hard.)

8. What is your favourite ice cream? mint chocolate chip!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. Do you like your wallet? it’s very functional, so sure.

11. What is the last thing you ate? a piece of chocolate.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope.

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? uhhhh...when the Astros won the world series a couple years ago, I watched the last game. so that. (not a big sports fan, y’all.)

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? mostly just plain butter and salt. but I do love some caramel corn at Christmas.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my Lexi

16. Ever been camping? fun story: when I was a girl scout my troop leaders did not want to take us camping for real, so we were gonna set up tents in their backyards. except when the time came we were under air quality alerts. so instead we slept in sleeping bags on the troop leader’s living room floor. and that is the closest I ever got to camping.

17. Do you take vitamins? nope. (I should! but I don’t.)

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? not recently. I kind of fell out of the habit after I moved to Louisiana last summer because the priests at the closest church are just....very boring. which is awful, but true. I dozed off during the first couple homilies at the masses I attended and eventually I just stopped going. I made a resolution as part of my Lenten observation to attend weekly mass again and did really well at first! but then, you know. COVID. 

19. Do you have a tan? I do not.

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? pizza, definitely.

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? only when it comes from a restaurant.

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? I have a whole bunch of different socks in varying shades of gold, grey, green, blue...they’re these socks, if anyone’s in the market. (#notspon) very warm and comfy, although I go through them pretty fast. I expect this is because I just wash ‘em regularly instead of following the detailed care instructions. (because who has time?)

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? everyone around here drives 5 miles above the speed limit. I do the same to keep with the flow of traffic.

24. What terrifies you? driving into water and being trapped. I’ve been having nightmares about it since before I could even drive.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my phones.

26. What chore do you hate most? literally any kind of cleaning. why can’t things clean themselves. why does the floor need to be mopped so often. WHERE DOES ALL THIS DUST COME FROM.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? that old Monty Python sketch where everyone is named Bruce.

28. What’s your favourite soda? diet coke

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru.

30. What’s your favourite number? 13

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? ……like via phone/in person? my parents on the phone.

32. Favourite meat? none. don’t eat it.

33. Last song you listened to? hark the herald angels sing by pentatonix. got my Christmas playlist going.

34. Last book you read? I’ve been working on an autobiography of a stewardess on the Titanic for like....six months. It’s not a difficult or even particularly long read, I just keep not picking it up. I read half of it in a week and then haven’t touched it since like...September.

35. Favourite day of the week? Sunday.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? slowly and with many pauses to think, probably.

37. How do you like your coffee? I don’t. love the smell, can’t stand the taste.

38. Favourite pair of shoes? I have a pair of high heeled boots I wear everywhere.

39. Time you normally get up? around six usually.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrise

41. How many blankets on your bed? three - a quilt, a velvet throw, and a weighted blanket Mir got me for Christmas, which is the BEST THING EVER

42. Describe your kitchen plates. white with a blue pattern of leaves and hearts around the edges.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. my stove is in desperate need of cleaning. I heated up some tofu cubes the other night that sent tiny fragments flying everywhere, and when I ran a damp towel over the stove to collect the fragments, it came back soooooo gross. so that needs a real scrubbing.

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? nope, don’t drink. 

45. Do you play cards? when I was a kid, all the time. these days, not so much.

46. What colour is your car? white

47. Can you change a tyre? theoretically, yes, but I’ve never done it in practice.

48. Your favourite state or province? Texas is where the HEBs are. I miss HEB. so we’ll go with Texas.

49. Favourite job you’ve had? my current job is pretty great!

tagging @ilosttrackofthings, @andyouweremine, @safelycapricious, @sapphireglyphs, @thestarfishdancer, @heytheredeann, and anyone else who’d like to do this!

[poge-life]

Shadow Of A Doubt (revised)

As I have said before, I decided to re-write the Shadow of a Doubt series, mainly because my writing was horrible when I did it and i hated how I wrote it. I’m officially all caught up on Riverdale and got inspiration to write for Riverdale again.

Here’s the links for the original Shadow of a doubt: part 1 part 2

Please enjoy the new version :)

After the Blackhood had killed Midge Klump during the production of Carrie, all hell broke loose in Riverdale. Not only had he killed her, but the Ghoulies were back in town, looking for some heads to knock. Sheriff Minetta had asked you and Jughead to turn over your cameras that were used during the rehearsal portion. Wanting to examine any footage or photos during Midge’s final moments that could have caught the Blackhood.

Unbeknownst to you, Jughead had gotten footage of Midge and your boyfriend being very cozy backstage.

Toni and Sweet Pea had been texting you all day, saying that Fangs had been on edge since Minetta and Reggie Mantle had accused one of the serpents of killing Midge. You hadn’t been at school all day, due to you taking care of your little sister who had been sick for a week. You had tried getting a hold of Fangs but he had been ignoring your calls and texts all day.

Jughead had texted you saying that Fangs got arrested and wanted you to come down to the station to calm him down. So, you had dragged (y/s/n) out of bed and told her to quit complaining and just get in the car.

Breaking every speed limit on the way to the station but that didn’t matter. What did matter, was that you got to your boyfriend to find out why he got arrested.

Rushing into the station, all but dragging your sister with you, you pushed past the deputies and went into the cell block where Fangs was, with Jughead and attorney McCoy standing in front of him.

“What the hell? I don’t come to school for a day and you go and get arrested? What for?” You asked, turning into the room.

Fangs had his head down with his hands sticking out of the cell. The two that weren’t in a cell, shared a look before facing you, “We’ll leave you two to talk.”

“Jug? Can you take (y/s/n) home? Please?” You asked, and he nodded his head

You walked towards him and grabbed his hands, “What happened?”

He took a shaky breath in and looked up at you. Your heart broke at the sight in front of you. He had tears in his and his nose all red. The only time you had seen him cry was when he found out his mom got really sick.

“I’m so sorry. You need to know that I’m sorry and I never wanted to hurt you.” He spoke, tears escaping his eyes

“Fangs, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

“My switchblade fell out of my pocket when they arrested me but McCoy said they can’t hold me for it. They have 24 hours to find something to stick or they have to release me. But that’s not why I’m here. I was the last person to see Midge alive.” He explained, causing you to look at him in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“Midge and I...we were...we were hooking up.” He said in a quiet voice, causing you to drop his hands and take a step back

“All those times you said you were helping her run lines? You were actually hooking up with her?” You asked in disbelief, tears welling up in your eyes. You swallowed the lump that was in your throat, eyes burning from you not wanting to cry

“You had been so busy with extra shifts at Pops and with the yearbook with Kevin. We were running lines at first. But then, we started hanging out, outside of rehearsal, without running lines. I just missed you.” He explained, causing you to let out a laugh

The kind of laugh that you do when you’re stressed or heartbroken. This time, it being the latter of the two.

“So while I was working my ass off, so that we could have a good future with each other, outside this god forsaken town, you were sleeping with someone because you were lonely?! How do you think I felt when Fp would send you on missions and I wouldn’t see you for days, I didn’t sleep with the first person who showed me any attention.” You exclaimed, running your hands through your hair

“I never meant for this to happe-” You cut him off before he could finish

“Did you kiss her first or did she kiss you first?” You asked, suddenly feeling small.

You prayed to god he said the latter of the two but when he remained quiet and broke eye contact to look back down at his hands, you shook your head, “I need to go. I can’t be here.”

“(y/n), I’m sorry!” He cried

“What do you want me to say? You broke my heart, Fangs. I can’t just forget that you slept with somebody else. I need to think.” And with that, you turned to leave. Ignoring the pleads from your former boyfriend.

-----------------

You had your head in (y/s/n)’s lap as she played with your hair, “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Ya know, big sister is supposed to comfort little sister, not little sister to comfort big sister after a heartbreak?”

You let out a laugh and sat up,”Sometimes, the big sister just needs her little sister.”

Your phone started ringing before she could respond. You grabbed your phone off your night stand and Toni’s picture filled up the screen. You answered it and were met with loud noise, “Toni? Where are you?”

“You need to get down here. Mantle let it slip that Fangs was the person to kill Midge and there’s a riot outside waiting for his release!” Toni explained in a rushed tone

You quickly stood up off your bed, pulling your serpent jacket on, slipping your shoes on, “Wait, what?”

“Minetta released the footage of Fangs and Midge together and Reggie told everyone that he killed Midge. So now, all of Riverdale is outside the sheriff’s station, waiting for him to be released.” 

You hung up and turned towards your sister, “I need you to stay in here and do not come out no matter what happens. If you do need to leave, you go straight to the Andrews, do you understand?” She nodded her head and you placed a kiss on her forehead before turning to leave the trailer

You grabbed your bike keys out of your pocket and started your bike, rushing down to the sheriff’s station.

-----------

Pushing your way thru the crowd, you made your way up to the door, pounding on it. The door opened and Fp’s head popped through the door. He quickly realized who it was, pulling you into the station.

He led you to where everyone was and they turned to both of you. You rushed over to Fangs and immediately pulled him into your arms, “I didn’t kill her.”

“I know. I believe you. It’ll be okay.” You told him in a quiet voice, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

Despite him being the serpents, Fangs could never hurt someone unless necessary. Actually, when they took Penny to Greendale, he ended up puking when he got home. Fangs may put on a tough exterior but behind closed doors, he’s a big softy.

He pulled away from you and placed both of his hands on your face, wiping away the tears that fell. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

You shook your head at him and pulled him in for a kiss. “I forgive you. I forgive you.

You all turned your attention to your beanie wearing friend, who was pacing throughout the room, “What are we gonna do, Jug?”

“We can’t take Fangs out the front. We have to take the side entrance.” Jughead spoke, rushing into the front but was stopped by Minetta

“Crowds out there too,” He smirked, “Pick your poison, serpent.”

“What do we do man?” Sweet Pea asked in panic, worried for his best friend.

It was quite the sight to see the 6’3 serpent, notorious for his brass knuckles and constant fighting, to be in such a panic

“I don’t wanna die.” Fangs whimpered and your heart broke. He had tears in his eyes and was breathing really heavy. You turned and grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze,”You’re not gonna die.”

Jughead turned to face his fellow serpents, grabbing the side of Fangs’ head with one hand, placing the other on Sweet Pea’s shoulder. You and Toni were in between the two, looking at Jughead.

“We stand together so none of us falls,” He spoke, “In unity, there is strength.”

We all placed our heads together and recited back, “In unity, there is strength.”

Sweet Pea and Jughead led the group out the doors, with you and Toni standing to Fangs’ side. Serpents behind him. Fp had met you guys halfway, helping you guys push through the chanting crowd.

Behind you guys, Archie Andrews had tackled Reggie Mantle, who had a gun pointed at Fangs.

Before anyone could process what was happening, a gun shot rang out, causing everyone to either drop to the ground or run away in a panic.

You slowly stood up, looking around to see if anyone got hurt. You turned to see Fangs looking down at the hole in his abdomen. Blood quickly seeping through his shirt.

It seemed like time had stopped as you watched your boyfriend drop to the ground, getting caught by Jughead and Sweet Pea.

“No, no, no, no…” You panicked, rushing to his side. You dropped to your knees, grabbing his hand in one of yours, placing the other on top of Sweet Pea’s, which was on top of the wound, trying to stop the blood flow.

Fangs lifted his head to try and see the damage, dropping his head at the sight of his best friends and girlfriend's hands covered in blood. His blood.

Jughead, Toni, and Fp cried out for someone to call for an ambulance.

You brought his hand up to your lips and placed a kiss on his knuckles, letting tears fall onto his hand, “don’t you die on me Fogarty. You’re not allowed to die yet.” 

Sweet Pea picked up his shaky hand, covered in his best friends blood, before looking up at you. You had tears streaming down your face, holding one of his hands in your own, seeing as Sweet Pea was holding onto the other. He let anger course through his body as he looked around, trying to find the source of who shot him.

His eyes quickly landed on Reggie Mantle. Who was laying on the ground. Gun in his hand.

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[justanalto]

i was tagged by the wonderfully sweet @besidemethewholedamntime -- thank you so much!! <3 <3 <3

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

I have a wet brush that’s bright blue, but I also have a hairbrush that’s red!

2. Name a food you never eat

uhhhh...olives, but only when they’re on their own. 

3. Are you typical too warm or too cold?

I’m always too cold. always, always, always. my fingers are currently freezing and so are my toes. I think it’s because there’s a loose draft in my room here somewhere, TBH. 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

roses are red // 45 minutes ago // i was writing poetry // and answering all my asks in a row

i’ve been sending people asks in poetry form and they’ve been responding, LOL -- so there’s been a lot of poetry brain going on!

5. What’s your favorite candy bar?

either a nice dark chocolate bar or a green tea kit kat bar!

6. Have you ever been to professional sports event?

I’ve been to a few professional baseball games! gotta get out there and have some mass sports pride. one of these days, my american football team will be good again and I will get those tickets. 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

some half-hearted mumble-harmonizing to pentatonix’s be my eyes, so something along those lyrics!

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

either black raspberry (s/o to campus!!) or mint chocolate chip :) 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

a couple of sips of water, hehe

10. Do you like your wallet?

I do! It’s the first “grown-up” wallet I feel like I’ve ever had -- I bought it from camden market last year when I was in london, and it’s a nice pine shade of green and made of cork. unfortunately, because i bought it in london, it also means that it doesn’t hold american currency quite as well, but it’s okay, i make do, LOL! 

11. What is the last thing you ate?

my dad made spaghetti bolognese and I ate that with a hecking ton of bread. it was fantastic :) 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

unfortunately, no :( i can’t remember the last time I bought new clothes. maybe january? february? before the pandemic started. 

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched?

I think...I know it was definitely a pats game, and I’m pretty sure we lost, so it’s somewhere along the lines of pats v. ravens, I think

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

extra buttery, even though it would probably murder me :’)

15. Who is the last person you send text message to?

@aleksandrachaev, and it was two thumbs-up emojis, LOL. 

16. Ever been camping?

I have! I went a long time ago, like nine years ago long ago, I think somewhere out west? I slept on an air mattress, went to an outdoor bathroom, all that fun jazz! and the bug bites, LOL. 

17. Do you take vitamins?

my mom: so you’ve got the probiotic, the vitamin c and the biotin...

18. Do you regularly attend a place of workship?

I don’t -- my dad used to go to church regularly, but other than that, I’ve never been to church and we’ve never been as a family. 

19. Do you have a tan?

i don’t know how this happened but I literally still have shorts tan from like, august. it is the middle of november, someone tell me how I got here. a couple of years ago, I burnt so badly on a trip to LA I was still seeing the tan months later, LOL. and most of the time, I have some fair flip-flop tan!

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza?

chinese, because pizza has the ability to murder me

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw?

it it’s a takeout cup, then odds are good i’m drinking it through a straw, but other than that nope :) 

22. What color socks you usually wear?

white or grey, I think? i have some funky colored ones but i’m trying to change that

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

i’m having flashbacks to a conversation I had with a friend who laughed at me for going five miles above the speed limit -- yes, I do, but only the allowed five miles above the speed limit and none more

24. What terrifies you?

oh, no, you don’t want to ask me that, we’d be here all day...being abandoned, I guess? being left by the people I care about, becoming too attached to people because they can leave and hurt me, spiders, heights, the pandemic, being hated, being alone...my own emotions, sometimes. 

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

my tubby nugget! he smiles at me, and I feel a lil better :)

26. What chore do you hate the most?

i literally could not tell you how much I hate cleaning the grout in our bathroom tile. it is a CHORE. 

27. What do you think when you hear Australian accent?

the hemsworth brothers, but also someone I met abroad who was from perth and had the same name as me, LOL

28. Whats your favorite soda?

ginger ale! 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit drive through?

depends on where I’m hitting, tbh -- if i’m in a hurry, we’re going straight through the drive-thru. but if it’s an event, then we’ll go in! have a fun time. sit for a while and talk. 

30. What’s your favorite number?

i don’t think I have one, actually?

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?

my dad, I’m pretty sure -- we talked about pandemic unemployment assistance :)

32. Favorite meal?

sushi, or whenever my mom makes steamed chicken. (i’m realizing it’s been so long since I’ve had that chicken and now I’m sad) 

33. Last song you listed to?

for real by lana condor

34. Last book you read?

confucius jane by katie lynch, just to see if the lesbians stood up to the pedestal i’d put them on -- and hell yeah, they did! 

35. Favorite day of the week?

right now, thursdays, because thursday is grey’s day! 

36. Can you say alphabet backwards?

probably, if you gave me enough time to think about it

37. How do you like your coffee?

like i like my men -- from afar, some of them are pretty, but do I actually like them? no

38. Favorite pair of shoes?

either my gray ankle boots I got a couple of years ago or my ‘gay lesbian snow boots’ that I use when it’s snowing something awful out, LOL!

39. Time you normally get up?

i’m supposed to be up at 8 am, but I’m usually up anywhere between 9 and 10am. I...need to change that, LOL. 

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?

i love both! but I like sunset because I’ve never specifically woken up to see the sunrise, i’ve only seen it out of coincidence because I pulled an all nighter to do work

41. How many blankets on your bed?

three, at the moment -- a costco blanket, my college blanket and a five-below blanket

42. Describe your kitchen plates.

white with a floral border

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment.

it’s lived-in -- we have a side table that’s always at the risk of a collapsing, a power strip that runs a kettle, microwave and toaster oven (you can never run two of them at once otherwise the strip shuts off), kitchen mats that will never get rid of their crumbs and a healthy, healthy pantry!

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

either pink moscato wine or a rekorderlig cider! 

45. Do you play cards?

i used to a lot, when I was younger! when I got older I stopped finding people to be able to play them with, unfortunately. 

46. What color is your car?

silver! (even though I share it with my sister)

47. Can you change a tire?

no, but I’d definitely like to learn :)

48. Your favorite state or province?

new york or california, honestly. probably california. it’s the place I’ve felt the most free :) 

49. Favorite job you’ve had?

i’ve had a lot of internships but not a lot of jobs, but I’d probably have to say it was the one I had at dunks -- so many funny things and stories came out of it, and now I have enough barista experience to power my coffee shop fics for a lifetime! 

tagging: @agentmmayy @nazezdha321 @sadtunes @a-biochemist-not-a-bird @browneyedgenius @daisylincs @aleksandrachaev @missinglittlebritishfriend @hannahxowen @genderfluid-and-confuzled and anyone else that I missed -- you’re it!! (i’m truly sorry if I forgot you, I haven’t slept a lot in the last couple of nights fhdskjfhs) 

[ironwoman18]

Double Dates part 2

Chapter 2: The Ratatouille Challenge

Luke retuned home after came back from a case. He was tired and just wanted to sleep.

When he opened the door, there was Penelope cooking in his kitchen. Sergio on his couch and Roxie looking at Penelope from her bed.

"H...hey Penelope" he said walking in. She has a pink pajamas on.

She turned visibly surprised "Luke? I thought you could come tomorrow?"

"We found a good lead to catch the unsub early and we decided to come today. Why are you here?" He lifted his eyebrow and he put his gun in his save box.

"Well, there's a broken pipe in my apartment, and here was the only place I can go so..."

"Oh..." Said Luke and walked to her, he leaned in and kissed her softly "it's ok you can stay here as long as you want" he smiled and she smiled back.

"I'm making dinner. Veggie tacos" she smiled big showing him the pan with some vegetables.

"That looks great" he kissed her head and walked to his bedroom to change. He put on a short and a tank top then walked back to the kitchen "you can sleep in my bed, I will go to the couch"

"Oh... No I don't want to bother you" she said worry.

"I could never let you sleep in a couch so don't you dare to start an argument, am I clear?" She nodded "good let's eat" she grabbed a tortilla and filled it with vegetables and poured some sause and handed it to Luke then she made some more tacos and both walked to eat it and talked while do it.

"So what do you and Max planned for Reid and me?" He smirked at her.

She got excited "well we found a restaurant that hosted cook-offs, where couples feud cooking dishes, the judges picked two food dishes and the couples has to cook the one they gave them"

"Oh my... I just know how to make pasta with cheese. I suck cooking nena"

"Fear not chéri. I will do it" she smiled and kissed his cheek. He laughed.

"Ok I will trust you" he stood up and held the dishes and glasses then went to wash them.

Meanwhile Penelope looked at him from the table. She never dated someone like Luke. He was so different from any other boyfriend she had. Shane was an idiot and he was more into be better than her, not into make her happy; Kevin was so sweet and she shared so much with him, but he was so insecure and not very athletic; and then Sam... Sam was not proactive or with crazy ideas, he was so sweet and kind but she needed someone different.

Luke is athletic, like Morgan; he was sweet and kind, she loved the little cat he gave her after a case; he was proactive and protective, the dates he planned were so perfect, she melted with every detail he planned.

And according to Phil or Lisa he was not like this, he was not sweet or caring, but with her he was different, and so was her with him.

At first she was mean because she missed her chocolate thunder but then he won a place in her heart and she was mean as a secret flirting way.

"Penelope?... Earth calling Penelope..." She shakes her head and looked at him "are you alright?"

"Oh yeah newbie I'm alright" she said playfully the nickname she gave him. He rolled his eyes but smiled.

"She will keep calling me newbie, Roxie" he laughed.

"Did someone ever tell you that you act like Kristoff talking to her?"

Luke laughed as he finished to wash the dishes "I will go get my pillow and blanket" he smiled at her and walked in his room returning with both things "goodnight nena" he said putting them on the couch.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable in your own apartment"

"Penelope, I'm perfectly fine with this, I won't let you sleep here" he looked at her patting the couch.

"I was thinking... That bed is big enough for both of us" she bit her lip "if you don't mind sharing" he smirked, looked down and back at her.

"If you don't mind, I don't mind" he stood up and both slept in the same bed. She did not want to rush things. It will happen sooner or later. She was not like that but Luke was different and so was she.

The next day was Saturday and it was their double date. So they practice cooking together. She taught him some things and he was a quick study so he learned it.

The date was at eleven so at one they could eat.

When they arrived, Max and Spencer were already there. Spencer looked at them and waved.

"There's lot of people here"

"Yeah it's a popular date place and it's a fun way to interact" said Penelope looking at them.

"Yeah it does. Max and I had been practicing this morning" said Spencer looking at his girlfriend.

"Spencer is pretty good" she said without reveling how much "how about a friendly competition?"

"Oh my God... yes!" Said Penelope.

"Wait what?" Luke was shocked.

"I trust you newbie" he raised his eyebrow "it will be fun. Beside I never saw or heard of Spencer cooking so I'm sure we will be fine"

Max smirked "so we have a deal?"

"Yeah but first... The winner will pick the next double date" said Penelope "because I want this to happen again. I love you too. You are like a Disney couple, because Derek and Savannah are Barbie and Ken so you are... Um... Cinderella and her prince"

They laughed "ok I would like it" said Spencer "I some ideas if we win. Since phantasmagoria will be next week"

"Oh yeah you mentioned it. It was tempting so let see if the good doctor win" he laughed and nodded.

They waited some more until it was time to walk in the restaurant.

The place was big, full of long tables, stoves, knifes and other things to cook. There was a man with a chef jacked on "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The W Pier. A restaurant school where the students of the chef school come to have experience with a true kitchen" he said "I'm Chef Martinez. Today we will cook some Hispanic food. And then we will eat them. Each couple will have a spot with the ingredients and the recipe, and of course everything you will need to cook. Pots, pans, knifes, spoons, forks... Everything" everyone nodded "now we will have a twist...." He smirked and all of them got nervous "the dynamic of today it's called 'Ratatouille' Challenge" which means that one of the couple will cook and the other will read and say the instructions. Like Remy and Linguini" Some people were afraid, mostly men "the Remy will be the women and the Linguini will be the men"

Luke looked at Penelope "did you know that?"

"I knew about they used dynamics but they never mentioned this"

"Well apparently it's something new" they looked at Spencer and Max and Luke said "can we cancel the bet?"

"No" said Max "are you chicken out?"

"NO" said Penelope "we can do it, I thrust you" she held his cheeks.

"Thank you but I don't trust in me" he sighed. She kissed him then she pulled away "umm ok that gave me hope and trust in myself" he laughed.

"Ok let's see. We labeled the tables with the last name of the couples. Most of you are boyfriend- girlfriend so we had to write both names. Please come here and look for your place" every couple walked there. Spencer and Max were next to Luke and Penelope "Ok the dishes you will be cooking today are from Hispanic countries"

Spencer and Max had to cook the Bandeja Paisa, a Colombian dish and Luke and Penelope had to cook Pastel de choclo.

"What the heck is a choclo?" Said Penelope reading the title of their dish.

"Ok people. One more rule. The girls will said the instructions one by one but in the moment you need help boys, you can raise your hand and one of our assistances will start the timer. She can be 5 minutes, that's all. No more time so you have to pick the right moment"

Luke looked at the ingredients and rubs his beard "Jesus..."

"Ok let's beginning... Now!" The men started to look the ingredients and their girlfriends to read the instructions.

"Ok Luke according to the translator choclo is corn. It's a Chilean dish and looks nice" she said.

"Ohk sounds good. Let's make this"

Meanwhile Spencer and Max started to cook "the Bandeja paisa is from Colombia. And it's a big meal" said Spencer.

"Good to now sweetheart but concentrate in the cooking because the red beans and the pork have to go in the pressure cooker" he nodded and did as she said.

Luke and Penelope were cooking the ground meat with some peppers and onions.

The two couples were working nicely but the others were a mess. Some men did not like to work blindly or there were arguments because they made the food different from what they had been telling.

Thankfully for Max and Penelope, their couples worked good under pressure and followed instructions.

Luke got lost once or twice during the cooking but managed to get thru. Spencer's memory helped him listened to Max's next instruction while working and remember what to do next.

At the end Luke requested Penelope's help to finished the dish while Spencer did not need the extra help but requested so she could some arepas, a circular corn bread from Colombia and Venezuela.

They finished and the chef congratulated them and invited them to take a seat, order wine and eat what they cooked.

Spencer, Max, Luke and Penelope sat down together and ordered a bottle with four cups.

"I never worked this hard in a kitchen" said Luke cutting some of his dish.

"I like to cook but I never make something like this" added Spencer.

They laughed "so Spencer let's try this" said Penelope getting some red beans and an arepa "oh my God... It's delicious" she smiled eating more.

After that they made jokes and ate the food. Then they were agree to order some dessert.

They ate some arroz con leche, since it's the Latin American night.

When they were about to leave Penelope said "we never figured who won the bet"

"I think Luke and I did a good job both and we both won. I'm normally super competitive but today I think it's a tie"

"I'm agree with Spence" added Max "but maybe next time we can pick the next one?" Max bit her lip.

Penelope nodded "yeah... This idea was fun but I think our next double date should be calmer" they laughs and nodded.

Then both couple leave. Luke and Penelope walked to his car and he said "Chica..." She looked at him "can I pick want we will do and with who?"

"Of course you can" she said smiling, this is something she liked about him "what do you have in mind?"

"Ok the next couple should be Matt and Kristy" he smiled "the activity it's a surprise" she laughed and nodded.

"Fair enough" she said "let's see what Mr Newbie have in mind"

OOooOOooOO

So... What do you think? Was it fun? I hope you enjoyed it and I already have the idea for this date.

The next chapter will be one of the cutest couple in the show.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #288

“i never believed the devil was real, but god couldn’t make someone filthy as you”

When was the last time you drove or travelled for over an hour? Where did you go? Around a month back, I rode with Mom and my sister to my mom’s doc appointment. When you get old, are you going to let your hair go gray or dye it instead? Haha, I don’t see my desire to dye my hair wild colors ever fading. What genre was the last book you read? Was it any good? Fantasy. It was very good. Did you ever wear braces on your teeth? Yes. What’s your favorite condiment to have with sausages or hot dogs (or the vegetarian equivalent)? I just have ketchup and mustard. Which fictional character can you relate to the most? Is this a character from film, TV or a book? I dunno, there’s just so many to dig through. I’ve never felt a *strong* connection to any. Do you groom your eyebrows? If so, how? Not really anymore. Do you own any photo albums? Are they dedicated to special occasions or just a random selection of photos? We have old ones stored in a cabinet somewhere. I haven’t looked at them in a long time, but I think they’re loosely bound by time periods. What’s your favorite meal of the day - breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Breakfast, for sure. Who was the last person you texted? How do you know that person? Sara. She’s my best friend. What was the reason behind the last time you shouted or raised your voice? It wasn’t severe at all, but I raised my voice to tell Roman to stop clawing at the carpet. Are you a citizen of more than one country? Would you ever use that advantage to move abroad? No. Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? If so, which one is your favorite? I barely started The Fault in Our Stars, and that’s it. I’m quite sure I would if I actually read them, though. Are you a protective person? UM ONLY JUST SLIGHTLY. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No. There’s been very, very mild ones here, and the one “big” one (which, mind you, was only big enough to make the pool water barely tremble) that’s happened in my lifetime I wasn’t even home for; I was hours away at the zoo. According to Facebook outrage much more recently, my area experienced a teeny-tiny one, but I sure didn’t feel it. Are you a fan of penguins? Omg yes, such darlings. So intelligent, too. I particularly love emperor penguins. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. Are you a good painter? I’ve been told so. Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never been in this position. When was the last time you met someone for the first time? Ummm I dunno. Maybe Nicole’s ex? Have you ever cooked with crab or lobster? Could you ever bring yourself to kill a live lobster/crab? No and no. I hate the taste of both. Squishy and just… ew. Which fast food restaurant do you go to the most? What do you tend to order when you go there? Being the cheapest, probably McDonald’s? I usually get a double cheeseburger and small or medium fry. Does it bother you when dogs jump up at you? Does it bother you less if it’s a smaller dog? Nah. I mean their claws can hurt, but it’s all worth a dog’s love, haha. What kind of animal did you touch last? Was this animal one of your pets? I pet my cat Roman last. How would you describe your sense of humor? Have you ever offended someone when you were only joking? Seeing as I don’t even find myself funny, idk how to answer that. I don’t believe I’ve ever offended anyone with a joke. When was the last time you cried - what caused it? It was literally last night when I was really deeply thinking about stuff I’ve been running from. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? You can’t beat the original ruffled kind, imo. Do you prefer fruit or vegetable juice? What kind of flavors do you like? I love fruit juice, but you’ll never see me even try vegetable juice. I enjoy lots of fruit ones: mango (my favorite), pineapple, strawberry, watermelon, orange, apple… Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? How did you meet this person? If you mean via a call and not texting, that would be my psychiatrist. I met him during my partial hospitalization. He helped save my life. Who was your first celebrity crush? Which celebrity do you like now? Jesse McCartney /swoons. Now I’m a l l about Mark Fischbach like jesus fucking Christ lord- Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? It���s closed. What’s your favorite love movie? The Notebook. Afraid of heights? Kinda, yeah. Do you take a vitamin daily? Not daily, no, but I have to take Vitamin D once a week. Wal-Mart, Target, or K-Mart? Wal-Mart. Is K-Mart even still around? Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos; I don’t really like the latter. Are you patient? N O P E, not unless it’s really called for. Which are better black or green olives? I hate olives. Black aren’t as awful, though. Who was your high school crush? Ha, Jason surpassed “crush” by a lighyear. Have you ever had your computer or e-mail hacked? Did anything bad happen as a result? No to both, but I’ve had my Facebook hacked. Nothing too bad happened. Do you prefer the company of people or animals? Animals, for sure. I need human company sometimes too, though. When was the last time you went to the beach? What did you do there? A few years ago when Colleen and I were still friends. The water felt fucking incredible, so I swam a lot, and then I just chilled with her, her husband, and their then-infant son under the umbrella. I still got insane sun poisoning, though. What kind of milk do you prefer to drink (if you drink it at all)? 1-2%. Skim is gross and whole is too thick. When was the last time you wore some kind of fancy dress? That witchy photoshoot I mentioned in I think the last survey. Do you enjoy dressing up (ie. in suits or smart clothing)? When was the last time you did so? Ugh, no. Too much effort and usually not very comfortable. See above answer for the second part. What’s worse - being overdressed or underdressed? I think the latter would embarrass me more. What do you think would be the worst thing about being stuck in solitary confinement? Being alone with only your head for “sound.” And if you’re in solitary, odds are your head isn’t in a good place, so it just makes it worse. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoelaces? Idk, but I know I learned it the “wrong” way first from Dad. It always annoyed Mom because they weren’t tight enough, apparently. Do you enjoy decorating for the holidays? For the most part, honestly not really. I love SEEING places decorated, but hate doing it myself. So much effort for sometimes not even a month’s worth of enjoyment. Would you rather go into a restaurant or just go via the drive-thru? I prefer the drive-thru. Do you like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist? Yeah, even if there may be a bit of pain here and there. It feels nice afterwards. Have you ever had a gun drawn on you before? YIKES, NO. When was the last time you went to a petting zoo? I probably haven’t since I was a baby. How old were you when you first started using Tumblr? Have you had the same blog all that time? Idr, but I know I was waaaay late to the party. I’ve had the same since the start, though. Are you a fan of Reddit? What are some of your favorite subreddits? I’ve never used it. Have you ever watched those YouTube videos of people popping their own spots or zits? Do you find them gross or fascinating? EW EW EW EW NO. They gross me the FUCK out. What’s a food you hated as a kid but love now? How about vice versa? Hmmm… I only know vice-versa, really. I loved peas as a baby, but now it’s a “fuck no” from me, man. Do you prefer socks, shoes or going bare foot? Bare feet, at least where it makes sense. Are you currently in the second story of a building? No; my house doesn't have a second floor. Who was the last music artist you listened to a song by? Ozzy. Have you ever written or drew something on a dollar bill? No. What was your favorite childhood game to play with your friends? We played lots of things, but I guess "Categories" in the pool probably wins. Basically the person on one end of the pool had to guess somebody on the other side's favorite in a certain topic, and if they guessed it right, you raced the other person to the opposite side. Whoever got there fastest was the next guesser. Where did you get your favorite pet from? My favorite pet of all time, my old dog Teddy, we got as a puppy from a friend of a friend. Her cocker spaniel had a massive litter and adopted the babies out. Have you ever called animal control on anyone? Not me personally, no. I think my mom did when our childhood neighbor's two rottweilers got loose and killed at least one of our kittens of the time; she was livid because it wasn't the first time they got out and attacked our cats, and of course us kids were absolutely devastated. I think they got off with a warning. Do you prefer wearing hoodies to coats? Yeah, especially slightly oversized. Is there anything written on the shirt you are wearing? No, it's just a black tank top. Have you ever been to another continent? No. Do you ever go out of your way to avoid someone? Not really. What was your last voicemail about? I don't even have a voicemail set up, so. Are you currently wearing a belt?I haven't worn belts since high school. How much was gas the last time you looked? I think $1.99. Is there someone who would support you no matter what? My mom, probably. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?I REALLY don't want to think about this one. Do you still get carded when you try and buy things you’re old enough to? I very rarely order one, but I don't really get carded for drinks at restaurants anymore. Do you know anyone fluent in a really uncommon language? Not that I know of. Do you kiss on the first date? This would depend on a lot of things. Odds are though, no. When was the last time you slept on something other than a bed? I've got no clue. How do you feel about the last person you shared a kiss with? I love her. Describe your current mood: Hopeless. Confused. Aimless. Exasperated. Just depressed. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? I mean, somewhat, but also not really. I don't believe life exists by chance, so whoever/whatever made that decision obviously had some reason - but not for each person in particular, I believe. I highly doubt something/someone thought out extravagant stories for every single thing that lives. I believe we give ourselves a reason. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Absolutely nothing, off the top of my head. What were you doing 10 years ago? I woulda been 14, almost 15... so starting high school. I was in school with actual goals and confidence I'd do great in life, despite my depression being in full swing. Did you ever have a MySpace? Yup... Still remember Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine" was the song on my meerkat-slathered page too, haha. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? I don't believe in breaks, period. You don't turn love on and off. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no, would you create one? If yes, what’s your content? Yeah, but it's not one that seriously produces content. Its primary purpose is just to like, favorite, and rarely comment on stuff while having recommendations catered to my interests. I used to make GMV/AMV-type things and mostly Meerkat Manor tributes, as well as various MEP parts because BOY could I only accomplish very short videos. I no longer have "professional" video editing software (I'd always pirated it before, anyway...) nor the necessary motivation and patience to make them anymore. Are you a math person? Heeeeeeeell no. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? No to both. When do you think things will be normal again? Who the fuck knows. It'll probably be a couple years, at least. Do you watch anime? If I'm watching television, yeah, I like some animes. Do you like TikTok? Never used it. Do you ever miss Vine? YO Vine was fuckin FUNNY If you're in school, are you doing it on Zoom or in class? I'm not in school, so. But if I was and in-person classes were expected, guess who the fuck isn't going with how serious I am about social distancing. Lives come before education. Would you ever have a pet rat? I've had a handful, but I don't think I will again. Their cages require so much cleaning, and they need more socialization than I'm able to provide. I fucking adore them, though. Favorite memory with your best friend? It's weird, we've "seen" each other for only like, a month's collective time, and I'm not sure of my answer because there's so many. Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? No. Have you ever “dined and dashed”? No, I never could. Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? No. Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? I don't think so. Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? Fuck no. Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? N/A, but I wouldn't. Have you ever flirted with a cop to get out of a ticket? No. Have you ever lied during a job interview? Me? Social? People person? Well duh, of course I am. Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? No, that's awful. Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wouldn't want your parents to see? Actually no. Did you ever get fired and tell someone you were laid off? No. Have you ever turned in a school paper that someone else wrote for you? Absolutely not. I liked writing papers anyway and am very serious about creative honesty. Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF’s family? N/A If you were an employer, would you hire someone with your exact work ethic? Well, what's the job? Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No. The only thing I ever did to his car was decorate it for his birthday lmao. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't think so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yes. The guilt otherwise would be unbearable. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? I wouldn't put me past it lately. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? I hate my body so fuckin much that I'll take the first, please. Have you ever used a false ID? Nope. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to admit I don't HAVE a job. If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? Oh my god no, I'd have to stop to break the fuck down. Ever lie about you (or your kids') age to get a discount? Ha, I'm sure my parents would sometimes at restaurants when I was young. Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? A LOT. Have you gotten close to anyone recently? Not really. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? No, but I can assure you it probably wasn't nice lmao. Have you ever gotten a D or F on your report card? Not until college. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? No. What are you listening to? "Radio" by Rammstein is on atm. Have you ever fallen into a mud puddle? Maybe as a kid. But that might'a been on purpose, lol. Are you scared of spiders? To a degree. Like, I want a few tarantulas but will scream and jump five feet the moment I see a huge spider beside me unexpectantly. I think they are very, very fascinating and important, but I also prefer to give them distance. Unless I have a camera in hand, haha. Do you think that crying is a form of weakness? Absolutely not. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? Yeah. Last person to call you? Some number from Mississippi??????????? Ever feel like you have been replaced? Oh yes.

[ft-dads-au]

Once Upon a Nightmare

Shadowlight Week 2020 Prompt: Absence Pairing: Sting x Rogue

A Collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

AO3 | Next: Ch 2

Summary: Sting was finally right where he wanted to be, back in Magnolia and living with Rogue. The reality, however, was not what he'd expected, especially when it seemed Rogue was hiding something from him. Never one to give up easily, Sting is determined to do what he can to help his partner and so they can have their happily ever after.

Chapter 1: Absence

June 6, 2014

Sting was convinced he was suffering from a caffeine overdose. Either that or his excitement was causing him to feel like he was vibrating, unable to sit still or stay focused. He had barely slept that night, staying on video chat with Rogue until he wasn't able to keep his eyes open anymore, and had woken up shortly after to find the chat still open and Rogue asleep on the other end. Cue a whole bunch of screenshots.

He'd decided on a late afternoon flight so he could spend some quality time with his parents before leaving. However, by the time he'd gotten on the plane, he'd had so many overly sweetened coffees, and cans of energy drinks that sleep was out of the question. Now he was restless, bouncing on his feet as he waited for what felt like forever for his giant suitcase to appear on the baggage carousel. When it finally did, he hauled it off, and it nearly toppled over as he raced to get in line for customs.

He was asked a few questions regarding the goods he had to declare, all food items he'd brought from Edolas knowing Rogue had liked them, and let out a sigh of relief when he was granted permission to go through the checkpoint. Finally, Sting was going to see his boyfriend face to face again, after another near 6 months of separation.

He weaved through the crowd as fast as he could without being a jerk to the other passengers, having lost the last of his patience. But the crowd disappeared from his radar when he spotted Rogue, his attention zeroing in on him as if he was the only one there. He was holding a bunch of white roses, and once he'd noticed Sting rushing towards him, he quickly put them up in front of his face, trying to hide the embarrassment that came with his beaming smile.

Before he was able to speak a word, Sting let go of the handle of his suitcase and launched himself at him, lifting him off the ground and spinning him around. He put him back down again but didn't let go yet, claiming his lips in a hungry kiss instead.

"I missed you so much," Rogue interrupted briefly, for once not seeming to care about their extensive display of affection.

"I missed you too," Sting grinned as he finally broke their kiss, "but damn, what happened to you?" he gently squeezed Rogue's arms, convinced that they were firmer than the last time.

"What do you mean what happ- Hey!" Rogue shrieked when Sting cheekily lifted his shirt, exposing his abdomen, "Leave that!"

Sting obeyed, but not without whistling at the sight first. Although Rogue hadn't been in bad shape before, his muscles had certainly become more defined, something Sting hadn't yet noticed through the tiny window of their video chats. "Been working out?" he asked, taking his sweet time smoothing out Rogue's shirt.

"Yeah, I...needed something to keep me busy outside of college and studying, " Rogue shrugged. "Are you done with that?"

"Sure. For now."

He rolled his eyes and handed over the roses with a shy smile, "Uhm, for you...It's dumb, I know. I just felt weird showing up empty-handed."

"Dumb?" Sting joyfully accepted the roses and smelled them, "I think it's really cute."

Not sure how to respond to that, Rogue grabbed Sting's suitcase, pulling it along as he started making his way through the airport. "Geez, did you stuff your entire room into this behemoth or what?"

"Sort of. Don't worry, though, I'll take it."

"No." Rogue stubbornly refused to let go of the handle and grabbed Sting's other hand, intertwining their fingers. "Let's go home."

Sting laughed and happily followed, not minding that he was being beaten at his own game.

0-0

It struck him that on the way home in the car, Rogue was becoming increasingly absent the closer they got to Magnolia. And one of the traits Sting had always adored about him, his affinity for music that caused him to subconsciously tap his foot or fingers on any surface, or sing or hum along when a song was playing, didn't show itself. The radio was on, but Rogue didn't so much as nod to the rhythm of the beats.

Sting reached for Rogue’s hand on the steering wheel, giving it a squeeze before letting his own hand settle on Rogue's knee. "Are you nervous?" he wondered. They were essentially moving in together, so he'd have fair reason to be. Hell, Sting was kind of nervous himself.

"A little," Rogue admitted, keeping his eyes firmly on the road, "I just...there's a lot going on."

"Hmhm," Sting hummed, aware of the lack of contact Rogue had with his family lately.

Not long after returning from his Edolas visit, he’d gone over to see his brother in Crocus for the weekend. From what he’d told Sting about it, it hadn’t gone too well, and less than two weeks later, he’d found out through someone else that Gray had gotten married. Angry and hurt as he was, Rogue hadn’t spoken to Gray ever since.

His parents weren’t any better, they had promised to come see him when they’d be going on vacation leave but canceled last-minute. Rogue’s calls rarely got answered. He spent days waiting for responses to the texts he’d sent them. Logically he was worried, annoyed, feeling abandoned, but Sting was determined to brighten up his days as best as he could until the situation improved and after.

"Well, we're almost there, you can tell me everything that's bothering you when you don't have traffic to focus on. I brought you those snacks you hoarded when you came over for Christmas."

"Really?"

That seemed to lift Rogue's spirits a little, but when he noticed the time on the dashboard clock, he quickly reasoned, "We should have dinner first. Drive-thru?"

"Sounds great! Pick whatever you're in the mood for."

After the short detour to get food, they arrived at the house, so eager to eat from the smell that filled the car that they decided to leave Sting's big suitcase in the trunk for later. Sting just grabbed his backpack, the flowers, and the bag containing their food, so that Rogue only had the cardboard drink holder to worry about while he locked the car and opened the front door.

Sting hadn't been there in about a year, but the memories resurfaced as soon as he walked into the hallway and looked around the living room. It felt good to come back to the house he'd been able to call home for a while, and that would hopefully stay his home for a long time.

He looked at Rogue, who seemed equally struck by the realization, nervously excited because they'd been looking forward to this moment for so long. Now that it finally arrived and they were really going to do this, it all felt so surreal.

"Welcome back," Rogue spoke softly, and Sting could only guess the kind of impact this moment had on him, after a year of living alone.

“You’re stuck with me now,” Sting grinned easily, wanting to reinforce for Rogue that this wasn’t a visit, that they were really taking this step. Neither of them would have to be alone again.

“We’ll see, if our room starts to look like yours did in Edolas, I might have to reconsider my options,” Rogue replied, and Sting was glad to see a small smile trying to peek through.

Our room. Sting loved the sound of that, his own room had felt so lonely ever since Rogue had flown home all those months ago. He got stuck in a daydream, thinking about all the times they’d spent in that room together before he left and looking forward to the times they’d be spending in there. Going to sleep together, waking up together. Only his rumbling stomach was able to snap him out of it.

He quickly put the flowers in the sink and unpacked their bag of food on the kitchen table, dividing the order between the two of them. Shoving two fries in his mouth, he sat down and pulled out the chair next to him, motioning for Rogue to sit there instead of at the other side of the table. With a little bit of effort, he was able to pull his phone out of his pocket, remembering he hadn’t called his parents yet. Searching through the apps until he found the one he was looking for, he leaned closer to Rogue and started a video call.

His parents seemed to have been waiting for it, considering it barely rang twice before the call was answered, and they were both visible on the screen, waving at him and Rogue.

“It’s working, I can see you!” his mom called out, happily surprised, even though he’d given them a thorough explanation on how to make and answer video calls before he left.

“Yes, mom, it’s working. Just like it did when we practiced,” he rolled his eyes at her but smiled nevertheless. “We just got home, everything went well.”

“That’s good to hear son, I was concerned your plane might crash under the weight of your luggage.”

His dad’s joke made Rogue snort loudly and struggle not to choke on the burger he’d just sank his teeth into, but once he’d cleared his mouth he joined in, “It’s a miracle the car would still move forward, thank God all the bedrooms are at the ground floor.”

“Yes, ha ha, you two are hilarious,” Sting sighed. However, he was happy that Rogue was enjoying himself chatting with his dad, even when they hijacked the conversation with another never-ending book discussion. It might not have been his own father he was talking to, but they’d gotten along great from the beginning, so Sting just let them rave on, giving his mother a shrug and digging into his food as he tuned out.

Eventually, Sting’s mother cleared her throat, sending her husband an amused frown. “Oh, right,” he chuckled, “well, let me know once you’ve finished it, I’d love to hear your thoughts!”

“Will do,” Rogue promised, ”but it might take me awhile, I was thinking about doing some work around the house. And I’m going to look for a part-time job as well.”

“Oh, that sounds great! Make sure Sting gets a job too.” His mother’s words were directed at Rogue, but the stern look she reserved just for Sting, “No lazing around, young man.”

She shifted her tone completely, joyfully chirping, “Well, we won’t keep you away from your dinner any longer. Enjoy the rest of your evening, we’ll talk again soon.”

“Thanks, you too. Bye mom, dad.” They all waved each other goodbye, and Sting ended the call.

Curiously, he turned to Rogue, “Work around the house? That’s new, what did you have in mind?”

“Well, I was thinking-” Rogue paused to take a sip from his milkshake, “My bedroom is our bedroom now, we should revamp it so that it looks and feels that way. Pick out some stuff we both like, together. I want you to feel at home.”

Overwhelmed by how much that meant to him, all Sting could offer in response was a sappy grin and a tease to stop himself from getting too sentimental. “Bold of you to assume that we can blend our tastes,” he chuckled.

“No, I fully expect it’s gonna look like a unicorn threw up at a Halloween party.”

They fell silent, looking at each other and trying to envision what that would look like, not being able to hold back their amusement for long. It was funny now, but as much as their styles differed, chances were high that it would take a lot of bickering for them to agree on something, and yet, Sting didn’t care. It really did feel like coming home.

0-0

Once dinner and cleanup were out of the way, Sting went to grab his suitcase from the car and rolled it into the bedroom, agreeing with Rogue’s earlier statement that it was a good thing he didn’t have to drag it up a flight of stairs.

He moved it to a spot on the floor near the bed and took out some of his toiletries to put away in the bathroom. The rest could wait, the effects of all the sugar and caffeine were wearing out, and knowing he was going to crash soon, he’d much rather devote his remaining energy to doing something fun with Rogue.

They got ready for bed and huddled together under the sheets, a new series on Netflix playing on the tv that they had both been wanting to watch but agreed to wait until they could watch it together. It looked promising from the start, but Sting’s primary focus was on Rogue, who had made himself comfortable lying on his chest.

Sting had lost track of the number of times he’d pictured this moment a long time ago, but what he knew for sure was that it felt better than he could’ve ever imagined. He placed a kiss on the top of Rogue’s head, carefully removing the elastic band that was holding up his hair in a messy bun. For some reason, Rogue had decided to grow it out. It reached all the way down to his shoulders, and Sting loved the way it looked on him.

“I’ve so been dying to do this,” he admitted, reveling in the smooth slide against his fingers and the content hum he received in response as he combed through Rogue’s hair. "And this-" he bent down for a kiss, couldn't stop from grinning as Rogue met him halfway and murmured in mock protest, "I'm trying to watch this," but continued kissing him anyway.

With the faint noises of the tv in the background, the soft sheets wrapped around them, and Rogue's lips on his skin, Sting found himself rapidly drifting off to sleep. He tried to fight it as much as he could, wanting to stay awake and continue what they were doing, but he never stood a chance. He could vaguely hear Rogue chuckling and wishing him a good night, but then his exhaustion inevitably caught up to him.

0-0

A week had passed since he’d moved in, and Sting was quickly adjusting to his new life. He’d just come back from his morning run, a habit he’d gotten into when he’d started college. It had been a suggestion from his father, who had said that it had helped him get through med school, making him feel alert for morning classes and giving him more energy throughout the day.

At first, Sting had thought his old man was crazy, considering how exhausted he felt after his first few attempts, but he’d stuck with it, and after a few weeks, he’d started feeling the benefits.

He turned on the water in the shower and stripped off his sweaty exercise clothes as he waited for it to warm up, making a quick trip to the hamper and grabbing a fresh towel from the linen closet.

Standing under the scalding heat, Sting smiled, humming to himself as he lathered, thinking ahead to what they had planned for today. He and Rogue were going to go shopping for house items knowing that once school started, neither would have the time to do any big projects. Paint, additional shelving, bedsheets, and decorative items to replace some old stuff and give their bedroom a new look were just some of the items on their list.

He heard the distinctive ring of the doorbell but chose to ignore it, even though he was expecting an important package to be delivered he knew Rogue was probably already up and about by now. When it rang once again, he grumbled but got out, drying his feet on the bath mat before grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his hips.

At the third ring, he dashed out to answer, not wanting to have to deal with the hassle of waiting and tracking the package down at the delivery service. Sting opened the door to find a man standing outside but no package visible anywhere. Upon closer inspection, and given the immediate frown that crossed his face at seeing him, Sting he was able to easily identify Rogue’s ex and previous bandmate, Totomaru.

Sting held on to his towel firmly, feeling even more naked under the man’s gaze.

“I didn’t know you were back,” Totomaru muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes quickly moving away from Sting and settling on the window just beyond the door.

Sting was a bit confused by the man’s behavior, there was something different about him. He seemed nervous around him, a marked change from his previous barely contained contempt the few times they’d interacted. Not knowing how to react to that, he decided to give him his widest smile in response. “Can I help you with something?”

Totomaru blinked at him, obviously confused by the smile, but he quickly replied, “I was hoping to speak to Rogue?”

Sting heard a noise behind him, and when he turned to see where it had come from saw Rogue looking more agitated than he’d ever seen him before, shaking his head and waving his hands vigorously in response to Sting’s raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, he’s not here at the moment,” Sting made sure to fix his eyes on their visitor, knowing he was a horrible liar on the best of days. “Maybe try calling next time before you show up,” he hadn’t meant to sound so rude, but he didn’t like the way Rogue was acting, it was very unlike him, and that combined with Totomaru’s strange behavior was making Sting think something was up.

“Right, good idea. I’ll do that,” Totomaru flashed him a nervous smile and, with a small wave, quickly turned around and walked away.

Sting watched him leave, trying to quiet the unease the unexpected visit had created within him. Closing the door, he entered the bedroom and grabbed some clean clothes from the suitcase that still lay sprawled open in a corner by his side of the bed, determined to ask what was going on, but when he reached the kitchen, Rogue was already gone.

His pack of cigarettes was no longer sitting on the kitchen counter, giving Sting a good idea of where he went, and sure enough, he found him smoking on the deck.

“Well, that was awkward,” Sting admitted, smiling as he sat down on the bench swing and enjoyed the feel of the sun on his skin. He pretended to drape an arm around an invisible person next to him, quirking his head and giving Rogue the big pleading eyes that said come sit with me.

“Did you have a good run?" Rogue asked through a cloud of smoke as he claimed the space Sting was offering him. He might have gotten his way with that, but the way Rogue ignored the elephant in the room, on top of both his and Totomaru’s odd reactions from a few minutes ago, further reinforced his earlier feeling, giving Sting weird vibes that he couldn't quite place.

"Yeah, it was great! I think I saw a new coffee shop on the way, we should check it out sometime." He debated whether he should ask what that was all about or not, but Rogue interrupted him before he had the chance.

"Sounds good, maybe we can stop by after we're done shopping?"

And thinking about the day ahead of them, he decided not to risk spoiling the mood. He could always ask later.

0-0

Sting entered their room, carrying the large box for the shelving unit they had bought at the hardware store. He moved over to the corner to lay it against the wall when his foot got tangled on something. What followed was a loud crash as he lost his balance and fell, losing his grip on the heavy box on his way down. The box ripped open on contact with the hard floor, dumping its million pieces all over the bedroom floor.

“Son of a-” Sting muttered even as he heard Rogue hurry into the room.

“Are you okay?”

Clearly, Rogue didn’t need to ask what had happened because even though Sting attempted to get some sympathy by putting on his best puppy eyes, Rogue’s face mostly said I told you so.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sting sighed, looking at the mess that was now on their floor, “I guess we should make sure none of the shelves broke and check for all the pieces.

“I’ll do that, why don’t you finally unpack that menace of a suitcase before you manage to kill yourself with it.”

“Fine fine,” Sting grumbled, exiting the room briefly in search of the hangers they had bought.

He wasn’t a neat person by nature. Cleaning up was boring as hell, but he could tell Rogue was not amused by his messiness, and he realized then that the advice he’d gotten from his mother was sound. He was going to have to put in more of an effort now that he was living with someone else, especially one who was so much organized than he could ever hope to be.

Sting vaulted over the bed, hangers in hand, causing Rogue to scold him once again. Giving his boyfriend one last charming smile, he put his earphones in and got to work. He’d managed to put away most of his shoes and had moved on to putting his nicer shirts and pants on the hangers and into the space that Rogue had cleared for him in the closet.

He noticed a cardboard box sitting on one of the shelves as he looked around for a place to put his exercise clothes and frowned at it thoughtfully. Having already filled the two drawers Rogue had emptied for him with underwear, socks, and t-shirts, there wasn’t really any other place left. With a slight shrug, he decided there was no harm in seeing if there was anything important in it. He tried to grab it with his one free hand but only managed to dump all the contents on the floor instead. Seriously what was going on with him today?

Sting took off his headphones, unsure of whether that had made enough noise for Rogue to notice. When he didn’t hear anything, he put the exercise clothes in the now empty shelf and knelt on the floor, intent on grabbing the items and returning them to the box.

He stared in astonishment, swiftly recognizing most of the items as things left behind when he’d moved out, and after stopping to read a comic book he’d been missing, Sting put everything back in the box. Even though they were his things, he felt awkward, as though he’d intruded into a part of Rogue’s loneliness he hadn’t been meant to see.

A piece of paper caught his attention, and he picked it up, wondering what else he might have left behind. Once unfolded, it didn’t take him long to recognize Rogue’s neat handwriting, a stark contrast to what his father liked to call his early attempts at doctor writing.

For a brief moment, Sting considered folding the paper back up and putting it back in the box with the other items, but knowing his boyfriend, it was bound to be a poem or a song. He was curious as to why it would have ended up in the box in the first place, and once the first few lines had caught his eye, he couldn't stop reading.

Even now, I still hear your voice

Even now, I still feel your touch

And today I lived within traces of you

Sting didn’t know much about music, but he knew feelings, and he could very much sense the pain that lived in those words. His eyes welled up as he continued to read the words that Rogue had written out to try to get him out of his heart, remembering some of the lonely nights he’d endured in Edolas, not being able to let go of Rogue either.

Many of them he’d spent in his old treehouse so as not to worry his parents. Not that it had mattered, they knew him far too well, and he’d never be able to thank them enough for not only encouraging him to invite Rogue to visit over the holidays but for letting him go so that he could be here now.

He reread the words. They were beautiful and haunting, and all he could think of was that he wanted to hear Rogue play this song, knowing there had to be a melody to accompany it. Driven by how the words had made him feel, he charged back into their bedroom, promptly forgetting that Rogue seemed to have removed himself from his music or how he’d come across the song in the first place.

Sting found that all the pieces to the shelving unit had been laid out neatly on the bed along with the instructions, and although Rogue wasn’t there, he could hear noises coming from the kitchen, so he went in search of him.

“Hey!” Rogue smiled, pointing towards the plates of sandwiches he’d prepared, “I saw you were making some good progress, figured we might want to eat before tackling the shelves. I know how you get when you’re hungry,” he teased.

Sting realized he was indeed hungry the moment he smelled the food, “Good shout,” he complimented, heading to the fridge to grab them some sodas before joining Rogue at the table.

Placing the paper on the table, he took a large bite out of the sandwich, chasing it down with a long swig of the soda.

“What do you have there?” Rogue asked, looking at the paper with interest.

“I found it while I was cleaning up,” Sting hesitated, wondering how best to phrase it, “It was mixed in with my stuff, so I thought it was mine. I was sorta hoping you’d play it for me,” he added, feeling strangely shy.

Rogue picked up the paper, reading it before balling it up and throwing it in the trash. “I never really did anything with it, it wasn’t very good.”

Sting rushed to the trash bin to grab it before it could get mixed in with the rest of the trash. “What are you talking about, this is amazing!”

“No offense, but you don’t really know anything about music.”

“What is going on with you?” Sting entreated, letting some of his concerns slip out. “You used to love music, it was such a big part of you, and now it’s like it never existed. I haven’t even seen your guitar since I got here.”

Rogue shrugged, but he wouldn’t meet Sting’s eyes, and that was a huge glaring signal that something was indeed wrong. “I got busy, and I just haven’t felt like it lately, that’s all. I’ve been focusing more on my writing.”

“Do you want some ice cream?” Rogue asked, not waiting for a response as he knew Sting well enough to know the answer. He soon returned with two pints and some spoons.

“So, are you all unpacked?” Just like that, the conversation had shifted, and for the second time that day, Sting decided to let it go, but as he ate his ice cream, he couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever was going on, Totomaru had something to do with it.

0-0

It wasn’t until he was pulled out of it and back to reality that Sting realized he’d been dreaming. The dream vanished from his memory instantly, driven away by slight annoyance because it had certainly been a good one, and even if it wasn’t, he was far from well-rested. That annoyance didn’t stick for long either, as he slowly regained his orientation, he identified the cause of his rude awakening in the middle of the night.

It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who had been in the realm of dreams. Feeling movement beside him, he groggily rolled over, finding Rogue kicking at the sheets and groaning in his sleep.

“Rogue?” Sting rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to get accustomed to the dark, but when it didn’t work, he sat up to turn on the fairy lights he’d brought from home and hung up above their bed. He blinked again, this time to get used to the dim light that was now spreading through the room.

“Rogue,” he repeated, louder this time, gently nudging his arm, “Hey, are you-”

He’d already suspected that Rogue’s dream was less pleasant than the one he had been having, and the distress that showed on his face confirmed that. What he hadn’t been prepared for was to find Rogue clawing at his own throat, leaving raw scratch marks that stood out sharply against the pale tone of his skin. Sting was wide awake now, didn’t even stop to think if it would be a good idea to wake him up or not, nor did he consider what would be the best way to do it. He acted out of pure reflex when he leaned over to grab Rogue’s hands and stop him from hurting himself, forgetting the situation that was a result of his own dream until it brushed against Rogue’s hip.

Bad move. Bad, bad move. For whatever reason, Rogue completely freaked out and started thrashing, and Sting was in an unfortunate position within the range of his knee.

“OW! MOTHERF-”

It was like the lights went off for a second, an excruciating pain shot through his body and kept coming back in nauseating waves, and all he could do was shove his hands between his legs and curl up into a ball. Trying to breathe through it, Sting prayed to every divine entity he could think of that he wouldn’t violently expel his undigested food while at the same time wondering if he’d ever be able to father children.

Through his pain, he felt a violent shift beside him, followed by the sound of Rogue gasping for breath. It worried him, considering where Rogue’s hands had been during his nightmare.

At least he was awake now, steadily calming down and noticing Sting’s misery. “What’s wrong? Are you going to be sick?” He expressed his concerns, reaching out his hand to check Sting for a fever.

“Don’t,” Sting warned, and if he wasn’t currently wallowing in his despair, he would’ve likely felt guilty for snapping, “just....give me a moment.”

After what felt like forever, he was finally able to straighten his back and sit up again, and looking at Rogue, he could tell that he’d pieced together the puzzle on his own. He was shocked, withdrawn, and for the second time that day, he wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Rogue, is there something I should know?”

No answer, but Sting wasn’t about to let it slide this time. Whatever was bothering Rogue had led to both of them getting hurt, a now dull ache, and the sight of the angry red marks on Rogue’s throat attested to that.

“Okay, fine,” he sighed, starting to count on his fingers. “So just to summarize real quick. Your ex shows up out of the blue, acting nervous as hell, and for some reason, you really don’t want him to see or speak to you. Even though last time I checked, you still used to be friends.”

Sting waited for some sort of response to his statement, but when it wasn’t forthcoming, he continued.

“You’ve completely abandoned something that you once loved, and don’t give me any of that I haven’t been in the mood bullshit," he quickly added when he saw Rogue was about to protest. “It isn’t just the fact that you’re not playing anymore, you don’t even react to music in the same way as you used to.”

“And if that wasn’t enough of a warning bell, I wake up to you trying to gouge your own neck.” Sting stared at the scratches intently, and it didn’t escape him that it was making Rogue really uneasy. “It’s not the first time either. You had a nightmare just as bad as this one in Edolas.”

He’d been so worked up about the matter that he hadn’t realized he’d been steadily raising his voice until the contrast of the silence between them brought it to his attention. Shit, he didn’t want Rogue to think he was angry, he just wanted to let him know he was worried, that he cared. With that in mind, he softened his voice again, and although he wasn’t sure how Rogue would react, he took the risk and carefully skated his hand over the blanket until it reached Rogue’s, and he could brush over it with his pinky.

“Please tell me what’s going on,” Sting begged. not bothering to disguise the worry he felt, “because it’s obvious that something is.”

Rogue took a deep breath and sighed immediately afterward, putting Sting on edge for what he had to say, but all hope he had of getting him to talk sunk like a brick when Rogue finally opened his mouth.

“I can’t tell you.”

And to make matters worse, he was getting out of bed, not just dodging the topic but walking away from him. Sting wanted to protest, tell him to get his ass back to bed, ask him why he couldn’t tell him, but to his surprise, Rogue moved over to the dresser rather than leaving the room, and came back holding what Sting easily recognized as the notebook he’d given him for Christmas.

“But I can show you,” he said, holding out the notebook with shaky hands. He waited for Sting to take it, and then he picked his sleep shirt off the floor and left after all.

Sting was torn between a sense of accomplishment, curiosity, and dread, relieved to know he would finally find out what caused Rogue’s sorrows but scared for what he’d find. Opening the book, he concluded that it was a journal, and at first, he wasn’t sure what entry or entries he should be looking for. The first one dated back to January 3rd, the day Rogue had flown back home from Edolas, and although reading about all the good times they’d had brought a smile to Sting’s lips, it gave him nothing to go on.

He read a few more entries, fascinated by the idea of getting to know Rogue’s thoughts until one caught his attention, a page on which Rogue’s elegant handwriting was messy and smudged in some places. There wasn’t a shred of doubt in Sting’s mind, this was the one, it stood out like a sore thumb. His heart began to race as he started reading the first line, containing a date that was ominously out of place.

November 27th, 2013

A/N: This story picks up after the events of Let It Rain and All I Want For Christmas, and will contain references to sexual assault. It will deal with how Rogue's refusal to get help affects not only him but Sting as well, putting an immediate strain in their relationship.