#i simply cannot wait to be unhinged :3

[sylus-doll]

Synopsis: You tend to forget that Sylus is a dangerous man. There are moments when reality decides to slap you across your face. It reminds you that he is unhinged— an untamed force of incomparable power.

Warnings: Death; he kills someone. People, actually. Sylus doing his job. Descriptions of violence, blood, etc. Licking of said blood (done by MC [you]. Don't ask why, I'm ashamed). MC (you) lowkey being obsessive of him because why not.

Author's note: Felt unhinged. Comments and reblogs are appreciated. <3

Your time spent with Sylus is always pleasant. Even with the constant banter, filled with your witty remarks and his teasing. It feels right. Everything seems to fall into place when you stand by him. This is natural; to embrace the rough edges of the other and sharpen it with your tongues. It feeds into your unlabeled bond. Two people dancing, never intertwining— not yet. Not lovers but not quite discernable from it.

Sylus is not forceful. At least, not anymore. Very persuasive at best. He knows exactly how to tug your heartstrings. You think it is because Mephisto has been out on “kitten duty” as Sylus so affectionately puts it. Just a nicer terminology of stalking you. He takes the time to learn more about this version of you. Invites you into his territory, his home. Has the twins deliver you clothes, trinkets, and whatever else he knows you love.

Anything that money can or cannot buy, it is yours so long as he thought of you while obtaining it.

“I thought this necklace from the auction would look nice on you. Throw it away if you don't like it.”

Sylus never tells you how much it costs. Or the price of anything he gifts you, for that matter. You know the number is likely to be in the millions. That's what he does— spoil you endlessly and ask that you discard whatever is not to your liking. You've tried protesting, insisting such gifts are far too much. And he does tone it down. But he could never resist adorning you in glorious luxury every once in a while. All he says is that you could stand to be a little greedier.

It goes beyond material pleasures. Sylus knows when you step into the N109 Zone, sent by the association to deal with whatever they need done. Sometimes through Mephisto, sometimes because you tell him. After every mission, whether it ends in success or failure, you'll know he's not far away. Mephisto's incessant caws only cease when you follow him back home— back to Sylus. What welcomes you are a set of red eyes, a quirked brow and a soft tug of his lips. His thumbs in the pocket of his pants, waiting for you as he always did.

Rinse, repeat.

Too comfortable. You've become complacent with that routine, and you are reminded of who exactly Sylus is. Infiltrate a protocore auction; that was your mission this time. An Aether Core fragment was rumoured to be the star of tonight's show. You should have expected Sylus to be here, too. Why would he not be? He was always interested in Aether Cores. The scene before you is familiar, the only difference is the man you've grown accustomed to.

“Well? What's going through your head? Don't tell me you've forgotten what exactly I do, sweetie.” He looks at you, piercing, bored. The term of endearment tastes bitter on your tongue, how ironic.

But you already learned that this expression is simply a mask. Sylus cannot afford to lose anything, so he gives away nothing. Only you could tell, of course you could. His breaths are heavy, deeper. There's a slight tremor in his voice. He stays deadly still as the bodies that lay at his feet. Splatters of blood on his cheek. Crimson coats his fingers, dripping, he's painted an eerie silence of death.

You had been compromised. One of the attendees blew your cover. And soon enough, the guns were pointed at you before you could even raise your fists. Yet, the bullets never came. Black-red mist decays people. Whoever was closest to you met their demise through Sylus's gun to their heads or even his bare hands. You watched the spectacle, rendered incapable. The stark contrast of the Sylus you know and this— this man who is the leader of Onychinus.

So why are you not afraid? This is who Sylus really is. Who he has to be despite the warmth and safety he provides for you. The same hands that cradle you are tainted, the heart he has given to you have rotten bits. A monster, soaked in an ocean of blood that only grows with each day. But it is still a heart, yes? He still chooses to love you, yes?

You walk towards him, stepping on carcasses. His thumbs are in his pockets; he's waiting for you again. Always. This time, you reach for them. This time, you nuzzle into his palms like a cat starved of affection. You look into his eyes and don't break away even as you lick his fingertips clean. Sylus's hands were meant to cradle you, damn whoever's blood decided to taint what's yours.

“You always said I could be greedier with you. Don't start complaining now.”

[rapunzellovesbooks]

Okay, I am going to write something that has legit been running through my mind for weeks now. You can like it or not, but this is my opinion of the whole situation and this is coming from someone who, yes, would love it if Nicola and Luke eventually became a couple but who also is very tired of the unnecessary drama. I lowkey hate what I have become over two people who have done nothing and I mean NOTHING wrong.

So, we all saw the world tour, we all have seen BGT, we all can safely say Luke and Nicola have insane levels of chemistry in and out of the show. That is not something solely shippers have said, critics, reviewers have said it, their friends have and so have the people themselves. You can have chemistry with someone and not be dating them, otherwise no show or movie would ever get made. We can say chemistry is there, period. While I do think that Luke and Nicola always behave like what I consider to be simply bestie behaviour, I am also very aware that I have no idea how I would behave with someone I shared this filming experience with, had shared intimate scenes with and was travelling the world with. They were each other´s people during that world tour and, yes, they were unhinged. I probably would be too amidst the madness of it all. So maybe their bestie behaviour is different than mine. Everyone ate it up, we all loved it. Some were convinced they were dating and they flat out multiple times denied it, they did. Some people knew Antonia existed and by some I mean folks who have way too much free time and go lurk under tags and posts from family and friends to see if they spot Luke or someone he is hanging out with. Folks who monitor every like, every follow, unfollow, time they are online, etc.

So when people saw her clear on a paparazzi picture, they thought Luke had lied to them, had betrayed them, but you cannot betray someone you owe nothing to. They said he ruined Polin and rushed to Nicola´s defence. And then Jake came along, also on a festival picture not two months after that. And then everything was very different. Jake was the saviour, the one who healed a broken heart. And it bugged me for so long until I understood why people thought this way. And now I see it.

People legit believe that Nicola has only ever had one boyfriend, Jake because he is the one on her instagram, the only one that I am aware of she has ever been photographed with, which makes total sense, since before, no one cared about who Nicola was dating. Even during the world tour, since people assumed she was with Luke, no one looked further. So when Luke did not fill the role people wanted from him, Nicola became a martyr of sorts and anyone who was beside her, a person worth of adoration, while the girl who had "sabotaged" her became the villain of the story. Everyone became a caricature of sorts in the fandom. And the person I feel bad for now is Nicola, because this is what, to me, the whole situation screamed.

You think Nicola waited all her life to simply shoot season 3 with Luke and be with him. A girl "like Nicola" in people´s eyes could only have her co-star as boyfriend. Now, Nicola has had boyfriends before. She has, she said so herself. During season 1 and 2 and 3 maybe. So people being angry at Luke for not dating Nicola after breaking up with Jade annoys me so much because how the hell do you know Nicola was not in a relationship? Can you really only envision a girl like Nicola alone until ONE guy comes along? And I mean this because so many people then commented, "oh, we all knew he would never be with a girl like Nicola". The fuck does that even mean?! Nicola is gorgeous and Jake is not a saint for being the guy she is dating, he is not. He can be whatever he wants to be but a man does not get to be the greatest thing since toast simply for dating a woman who is not skinny nor is a man a devil for dating a woman who is skinny.

Everyone created their stupid timelines but you failed to see that there are a thousand things, people and meetings in Luke and Nicola´s lives that you will never know about. It is very possible Nicola was dating someone before the WT and during (she had already met Jake) and Luke as well. We know this. So, no, Polin is not ruined because if the requirement for Polin was both leads being single then you would not have loved the Polin that you already have, one where both leads were in relationships with others but still remained the actors, besties that we know and love. I admit that I do not understand them most times when they interact as if that is normal bestie behaviour but that is on me.

So, no, there is no feud or beef because, why would there be one? They know each other, no one duped or sabotaged anyone. You just simply believed Nicola and her body type was only ever good enough for one person and one person only and when that person did not do what you wanted all hell broke lose. You say you defend her and you are happy for her but that includes, in my opinion, the notion that you thought she was sad before. Why? For all we know she could have had a million boyfriends and lived her best life all this time and we never knew.

There was never a conspiracy, no one lied to you. You dont have to like that they have a bf and gf, I dont, but I can also simply go watch BGT season 3 and be done with it. I dont have to analyse the new Luke and A pictures or leave nasty comments under Jake´s posts, I do not. I can ship them because, in my mind, they are Colin and Pen while also being very VERY aware that they are not. I want to go back to a sense of normalcy because this is stupid. It just is and it is insulting to two people who have, honestly, been more than patient, more than kind with this nonsense.

In conclusion, the reason I believe so many people lunged at Luke is because they saw and still see Nicola as someone who can only have one man because she has a different body type. So many people get mad at Antonia for simply being skinny and it makes no sense to me. None, at all. Maybe Luke tried to be with Nicola and she was unavailable, maybe everyone is only happy in pictures, or maybe not. Maybe it is none of our business and it never should have been in the first place. We are all curious and noisy people, but man, it is more than time to tone it down by a thousand.

[obsessive-clown]

I hope I am not too late to ask for hcs. Can I please get hcs Yandere Nanami on how unhinged can he get when it comes to his darling

HI ANONYYYY. 🤭 I see you think like I do.

We like our men a little ✨wild✨. So allow me to feed you.

꧁❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎꧂

I believe Kento has a few rules set in place. Maybe not for you, his darling. But unspoken rules for other people.

1. LOOK, DON’T TOUCH -

‘Look, don’t touch’ is as obvious as it gets. People can look at you, but touching you? No. Kento can’t stand the thought of someone else touching you. If they touch you, clearly they want you in some fashion, right? And he certainly can’t have that. He loves you. And he most definitely loves you more than anyone else will. If the person that touched you, or god forbid, grabbed you, is a non-sorcerer, Kento has a chat with them. Which likely ends with the person losing their hands. Or arms. He doesn’t want to hurt the people, it’s not like they know the rule(s), but he can’t have what’s his become tainted.

2. STRANGER DANGER! -

Don’t know ‘em? Don’t talk to ‘em. It’s so silly to hear, especially if you’re older than a foolish child… But it’s a rule that works to Kento. Strangers talking to you makes his skin crawl. What the hell could they be talking to you about anyways? He wants you to be happy, he’ll let you have a little socialization with his friends. Friends that he know won’t make advances on you. But even then, he wants to be there for those little chats. If a stranger makes you uncomfortable with their conversation, he’s waiting until you’re back home to track the person down. And the next thing you know, there’s a body being found with its teeth, jaw and tongue missing, being reported on the news.

3. FRIENDS DON’T DO THAT! -

Obviously, for you, you don’t get to contact your friends. Kento simply cannot risk losing you. But his friends? Yes, maybe, when you’re calm enough to go out with him. However… Some of his friends can be a threat to your ‘relationship’. In Kento’s deluded mind, that is. Even the ‘Strongest Sorcerer’ isn’t excused from Kento’s anger or from repercussions. Kento will go absolutely out of his way to keep you. And that’s what makes him dangerous. If Satoru were to ‘threaten the relationship’ in Kento’s mind, there’s a special box he’d gladly help his white haired friend into. He would go as far as to find out weaknesses his friends or acquaintances have, just to be able to use them if he gets angry over how they act towards you. He can’t lose you. He can’t go back to the place he was at before he had you with him. He cannot bare the thought of it. So, he’ll take the risk of practically burning the damn world down, just to keep you safe with him.

꧁❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎꧂

I apologize for getting to this oh so late, but I was struggling this summer… either way, I’m glad to have finally got this out and I hope some of, if not all of you, enjoy it.

Also, I apologize for only thinking of three rules, but hey, it’s better than none!

[thegamingcatmom]

I just got back in my twilight phase and discovered your blog, so I was wondering if MC ever got transformed into a vampire in the sisters universe, who would be the one transforming her? I feel like the obvious choice would be tanya, but a part of me thinks that irina trying to kill MC, but accidently turning her would fit the level of unhinged they are. But also if turned into a vampire, how do you think the sisters would react to MC being stronger AND possibly hotter?

In that case:

Welcome to my blog! :3

Right off the bat: Irina cannot be trusted alone with MC at this point in time, that´s true. But it´s not gonna stay like that forever. She´ll come around sooner or later (more later though), so the chances of MC getting turned because Irina actually tried to finish the job are pretty slim. But I can see where you´re coming from and I love that yall´s minds are coming up with possible scenarios for the Unholy Trinity and their, uh...chosen one. 🤭

With that said-

It´s difficult to say who´s gonna turn her, as it depends on everything that leads up to that moment. And it´s gonna be a while yet before we even get to that moment. I don´t plan anything I write beforehand. I simply go with what feels right, so I´ll know who´s gonna turn MC when it gets to that. 😅

However, I´ve been working on a lil something for a bit now (yes, the something that´s supposed to make yall suffer), sort of like an alternate ending to The Sisters. Like, yknow how some games have multiple endings? There´s the good ending, the hidden one, and the bad one.

Well, consider my WIP the bad one. 😅

BUT: It might shine some light into everyone´s motives, especially when it comes to the whole turning thing.

.

As for the sisters´ reactions to vampire!MC?

...I mean-

So, not rly any different from now. LMAO.

It´s true though: They might not realize it yet (well, except for Tanya lol) but, to them, MC´s already-

I´m actually gonna take a page out of Edward´s (well, SM´s lol) book here:

MC´s always gonna be their MC, just a lot less fragile. ;3

Like yknow, I don´t think there´s all that much that would change for them. Ofc it´s gonna be nice when they won´t have to worry about accidently crushing MC when hugging her anymore (Kate´s bear hugs can be rather suffocating, it has to be said), but when it comes to attraction? I don´t think they could possibly be any more smitten with MC. Or else they might actually eat her up, lmao.

So, it´s not gonna be an overly sexual first reaction, if that´s what you´re asking. It´s more like they´re completely in awe of what they´re seeing, almost like they´re not quite sure what they´re seeing is even real. Because, at that point, all of them have been through a lot, right? All those months (perhaps even years, I haven´t decided yet) of madness and longing and arguments and more longing and fighting and some more madness and then longing again and-

By the end of The Sisters, it will have been one hell of a ride for everyone involved. So, seeing everything finally come full circle when their chosen one joins them in their shared forever? I don't think words could truly capture their feelings, tbh.

However, something I find quite funny to think about:

I reckon it´s gonna be MC who turns into the horndog this time, lmao. As a newborn, there´s only gonna be two things on her mind when she first opens her eyes to this new world:

blood

sex

That´s gonna be all she cares about. And, somehow, I think she´s gonna try and go for the latter first because duh, look at that gorgeous wom-

Wait, there´s another-

And another-

Jesus, can you imagine?? Poor MC, completely driven by her instincts. Instincts she just doesn´t know how to deal with yet. Her brain´s gonna melt. She´s gonna melt. This is too much, she is but a newborn-

And the sisters? They couldn´t be more delighted at that display. For them, it´s like watching a baby take its first step. I mean, they´re literally ancient. And MC´s so young, she´s a baby. YKNOW WHAT I´M SAYING??

Sugar Momma mode activated.

KSBJFKASKBFASKF

Honestly though, that´s kinda how I envision it. The sisters are beyond mature, and MC just can´t cope with any of it. She´ll need the sisters to guide her, show her how it´s done. She´ll also need them to soothe that inner beast of hers that keeps telling her stuff that totally contradicts with what she´s actually thinking-

And then MC goes about actually jumping their bones, only for them to-

.

Tanya: "Ah, ah...first we must get that thirst of yours under control, my love."

Kate: "I hate myself for this but, for once, I gotta agree with the spoilsport. One craving now, the other craving later. But God, you´re so sexy when you´re-"

Irina: "As Tanya said...we wouldn´t want you losing your pretty head halfway through and risk half of Alaska´s population being drained by noon, would we, maličký?"

MC, who hasn´t understood a word after "thirst": 🩸👁️👄👁️🩸

.

YKNOW???

But I also kinda HC that, in the world of vampires, with age comes status. All vampires have this inner beast that´s responsible for their more primal behavior and instinctive reactions in certain situations. Such as coming face to face with an elder. And MC´s got three of them.

Lord have mercy on that poor girl. We all wanna be her, let´s face it.

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[jaguarys]

Can I have your thoughts on Halan pls

I AM HERE TO ANSWER LIKE 3 MONTHS AFTER YOU ASKED.

I was originally planning to wait to answer this until I'd read his Stories volume, but I haven't gotten around to ordering it yet and... I wanna answer (I'm working on a Jadina fic and really needed to get my thoughts out). So. Take everything with a grain of salt because I don't have the context of that volume.

I both love and loathe Halan in a lot of ways and I am sorta chomping on him because I think he's terribly interesting.

Before my reread, I'd remembered Halan to be a Lot More harmless than he actually came off. He is legitimately unhinged and dangerous in Cœur du Passé/Main du Futur and I simply cannot get over some of the shit he says.

I think Halan is someone who's extremely extremely spoiled and immature, and extremely used to getting what he wants. I also think he is just Slightly Stupid (with all due respect lol). I don't think he actually views Jadina in a romantic light (nor do I think she does him) but it's moreso the idea of being denied something he wants that gets under his skin. He doesn't like that at all, and having never been denied anything else while being denied This One Thing repeatedly makes him spiral.

I don't think he views his actions as being truly harmful because of his removal from it all. He's in such a position of privilege people don't/can't tell him he's an asshole, and he doesn't see the effects of his choices, and it just means his actions escalate. He is SOOOO easily manipulated by Ceydeirom it is ridiculous. Get some morals boy!

I think for Jadina it's really a case of seeing a boy you were best friends with when you were little become a man you don't recognize. The habits that were silly when he was 13 become menacing when he's 30. Really she does not get enough credit for Dealing. It had to be truly upsetting.

In some small ways, I do have the tiniest ounce of sympathy. Jadina had the chance (stole the chance) to get out of royal life and learn more about the world, which he didn't (of course, who knows whether he could've). I don't think he's irredeemable at all. He just has really gotta wise up.

That being said... he deserved his ass kicked by Jadina and his consequences in Main du Futur and far more than that on top of it all. I think about him a lot in terms of his dynamics with Jadina, and not too much past that

(Slightly separate note: I also think. Some of vols 5/6 are also the effect of Male Author. I don't think Sobral really realized the implications of some things he was introducing there in terms of Halan's behavior.)

[stormyoceans]

top5 puentalay kisses/hugs?

im pretty late with this but i would never pass up a chance to be annoying about vice versa so here we go!!!!!!! (also im not sure if i was supposed to pick only one of the two but again I SIMPLY CANNOT PASS UP A CHANCE TO BE ANNOYING ABOUT VICE VERSA IM SORRY)

TOP 5 PUENTALAY KISSES

1. greyllery kiss in episode 8. this is their first mutual kiss after two one-sided kisses, three almost kisses, three cheek kisses, and one forehead kiss. not to mention the hugs, the cuddles, the promises, the sleeping in the same bed, the taking a bath together, and i could go on but imma stop here before i get involuntary committed. we waited so long for this kiss and when it finally happened it was everything we could have ever asked for and MORE: the confession, the music, the parallels with the glasshouse kiss, the fact that it happens when the lights are out because they love each other for who they really are and not for the body they inhabit, puen's single tear......IT'S PERFECT.

2. glasshouse kiss in episode 4. i know having a one-sided kiss for second place doesn't seem fair but in my defense this kiss makes me go through such a plethora of human emotions that i feel like i need to go lay in the dirt for several hours to climb down from the sheer manic unhinged rabid energies that got me going on. y’all must be tired of hearing me say the same things over and over again about this kiss but. the build up!!!!!! the emotions!!!!!! the music!!!!!! IM NOT EVEN KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU THIS KISS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE.

3. beach kiss in our skyy episode 2. our skyy may have given us only one kiss but WHAT A KISS IT WAS. it feels like a sum of all their previous ones, the cycle closing with a recollection of the past and a promise for the future, as the kiss itself lets us know that no matter what's gonna happen from that moment on, they will always love each other like the very first day. and if the reminder of the drunk kiss in episode 2 wasn’t enough to drive this point across, the song they used during this scene is the same as the one they played during the greyllery kiss, which you know. [FEMALE HYSTERIA]   

4. foggy glasses kiss in episode 12. honestly can't think of any other scene in television history that was able to so perfectly portray a fictional character being left breathless, lightheaded, and weak at the knees by a kiss. the way puen is holding talay's head with BOTH OF HIS HANDS to keep talay in place which barely gives talay any time to take a breath...... the way they're so close and entangled in each other that you can barely tell where one starts and the other ends...........this kiss literally be turning both me and talay into the 🥴 emoji every single time.

5. reunion kiss in episode 11. it was a tough choice between this one and the bathtub kiss in episode 10, but in the end i had to go with their first kiss in their real bodies, not just because of this, but because there's so much love and comfort and reassurance packed in it. this kiss is the meeting of two souls who have missed and found each other again. it's the promise of being together for the rest of their life AND I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT IT IT’S HONESTLY INSANE HOW NORMAL AND HINGED AND SANE AND FINE I FEEL ABOUT IT.

TOP 5 PUENTALAY HUGS

1. reunion hug in episode 11. LITERALLY THEE SINGLE MOST SCENE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION IT CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE THE FOUNDATION OF MY PERSONHOOD AND THE CHEMICAL MAKE UP OF MY BRAIN. puen says "you must be very tired. from now on, things will be okay," and that's exactly the feeling this hug conveys: everything will be fine, you're home now.

2. comfort hug in episode 6. my grasp on the english language is too limited to even attempt to put into words what this hug did to me the first time i've watched it. it made me mentally deranged in ways so profound they will only become apparent years down the line. to this day there are people out there wondering why talay even likes puen and the urge to shove this scene under their nose is immeasurable. FIND YOURSELF A PARTNER WHO WILL LISTEN TO YOUR FEARS, GIVE YOU COMFORT, AND HUG YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE!!!!!!! (@GOD ME WHEN)

3. reconciliation hug in episode 7. I NEEDED THIS HUG JUST AS MUCH AS PUEN DID TBH. talay initiating any kind of physical affection always feels incredibly special and precious, and it is so much more here because this is him finally realizing that puen's feelings are sincere. this hug is the turning point of their relationship as talay implicitly accepts puen's love and confesses his own. it’s just so emotionally satisfying [SOBS]

4. back hug in episode 12 and in our skyy episode 1. LOOK I KNOW IM CHEATING BUT. THE DOMESTICITY THE COMFORT THE TENDERNESS THE AFFECTION THE ADORATION THE SOFTNESS THE WARMTH THE PARALLELISM THE ROMANTICISM THE SOULMATISM THE TRUE LOVISM OF IT ALL. YEARS LATER THEY'RE STILL THE SAME.

5. hourglass hug in episode 12. the hourglass with the sand that doesn’t fall!!!!!!! i don't want time to go by without you!!!!!!! from this moment on it's you and me!!!!!!! ‘city’ playing in the background!!!!!!! the moon watching over them!!!!!!! WAILING WEEPING HOWLING SCREECHING CRYING SOBBING SCREAMING--

[lowpolyskeletonz]

HLVRV: 2, 5 and 8!

I've already done 5 but let's do 2 and 8!

My top 3 favs....

Benrey: Hes just such an interesting stupid lil guy. He's completely changed me. He transed me. He's such a guy. He's so silly yet so interesting I. He's tye most sentimental of the science team... Joy...

Gordon: Gordon is just also very silly. He's the straight man. He kicks ass and then gets his ass kicked. He is what makes most of the comedy in HLVRAI work so well. I also love how he's also just as unhinged as the rest of the team sometimes. Gordon sprint. Robbing banks. What a guy.

Dr coomer: I could go on for HOURS about Dr Coomer. He is probably the most plot rich character in the series and I simply CANNOT. I love how Holly voiced him. The realistic jankiness of his voice lines and the incredibly deep and profound plot points he has. Hes probably one of the only guys giving hlvrai a narrative and I CAN NOT wait to see him in Hl2vrai. Come home Dr Coomer.

And for 8! Probably part of Dr Coomers "If you woke up one day and realised everything around you was a lie, was fake, what would you do?"

Anything else Dr Coomer has said could probably work though. Such a profound lil guy.

[marciego]

Your mutuals as dcla ships?

(Like vibes or aesthetics or whatever works for you)

omg let's go yes that's so fun <3 gonna try my best not to redo ships and i'll try not to automatically assign everyone their fav ship but this is gonna be hard like i'm just used to associating them with y'all

@musicallad for you i'm going for a nice and sweet napo/braco and not just because you're the most vocal about them in the fandom, like you're just so nice and sweet to everyone and doing your thing all nicely like i think the vibes just work

@time-never-waits-for-me oh girlie it's camcesca, and ONCE AGAIN i promise i'm not saying it just because you're a camcesca warrior it's just their brand of chaos fits you so well i feel?? like cami is so unhinged and everything she brings out of fran is so much fun and idk it just works

@gaybarbiegirl JAZMBAR fashion girlies + really fun dynamic + aesthetically something works idk what but it does, the only con is that it's an ambar ship and you so don't take yourself that seriously at all but somehow it's not making me change my mind like jazmbar just works

@iristhedeadflower i'm giving you the greatest honor of all here girlie, you give off so much cadmila energy the vibes couldn't be more fitting if i tried, like i'm not even gonna say more it just makes sense

@putonmyfavoriteshow this is gonna be the BIGGEST compliment ever coming from me but i'm gonna say marcesca, you're so kind and fun and nice to everyone and minding your business having fun and being so nice to interact with, it's giving me easy, simple, cute, good vibes marcesca <3

@countessofravenclaw i'm trying not to assign anyone their fav FAV ship but i gotta say gastina and you make a lot of sense so it's hard, still giving you the honor of assigning you pelfi because you're so sweet and supportive and it's always so fun to interact with you!! but yes that's me being difficult because i think your vibes do match gastina more

@assim-eu-sou ok don't ask me why like really don't but i'm going with leonara, like i think it's their kinda really chill and mature vibe that you have? leonara makes sense to me but i couldn't explain why

@alainapaloosa2 natila!!! i think your vibes are so fitting for natila it's just so fun they just work you know

@inthehausofholbein another one i simply cannot explain but my heart is screaming ludcesca to me and what can i do but listen

this was super fun to do, i hope i didn't forget anyone here <33

[cloudcountry]

your blog has “Ask me about Ritsu Shinjo” on it rn so I wanted to ask all the things you like about Ritsu Shinjo

(also, watching the tkdb brainrot consume you has been fun hehe. tempted to play it again but I didn’t get very far hehe, only up to book 4)

(also also, Hi :D)

FINALLY SOMEONE DID. THANK YOU RHEA.

wait omg. sinostra book is book four. how far did you get. DID YOU MEET RITSU. I NEED TO KNOW.

(hi :3)

okay so. OKAY SO. im going to go feral give me a second. my first impression of him was a campus interaction when i didnt know who the fuck a ritsu was and i literally called him a stalker oops. BUT HES NOT HE IS SIMPLY GATHERING INTEL (auburn is being an apologist again...)

he's in sinostra so of course he's a little unhinged but not in the way one would typically be unhinged. i mean that he doesn't waver even when guns are being pointed at his head and his life is being threatened. like even with his stigma that would probably freak someone out!! but not him!! because hes CRAZY.

he's also super dedicated to his work which is just so (❤´艸｀❤) yk?? he's DEPENDABLE which is a huge thing for me. hes RELIABLE and SMART and REALLY STRONG. i need to eat him. gnaw on him like a chew toy. HES SO UNBOTHERED TOO. WHILE ALSO MANAGING TO BE THE MOST BOTHERED. just dont insult his handwriting or sunglasses and you'll be fine.

he's so meticulous and organized too...he actually motivates me to be more on top of things because even if my world is falling apart that doesn't mean my work stops 〒▽〒 ANYWAYS! not to sound like a pick me but OH I WOULD BE A BETTER BUSINESS PARTNER THAN MC. like i love her and im certain ritsu appreciates her too but she is way too meek and insecure it makes me sad :(( like i want her to be able to speak up and tell ritsu when she sees something because that would genuinely save SO MUCH TIME when the two of them are out doing something, its like ritsu is doing all the work and shes just standing by.

during chapter four i genuinely did grow to feel safe with ritsu around. sinostra is not my vibe at ALL but idk when you're by his side you just feel like everything is gonna be okay. and i dont think thats a universal experience considering the amount of people that hate him but im glad for it regardless!!

he also cannot take COMPLIMENTS hes always like "oooo this is nothing special this is expected blah blah blah" HUSH. YOU ARE IMPRESSIVE. YOU ARE SMART. YOU ARE CLEVER. YOUR EFFORT IS PAYING OFF. YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND I LOVE YOU. STOP BEING SO MODEST AND YET SO SMUG AT THE SAME TIME. I LOVE YOU. BASHES OUR HEADS TOGETHER.

[meatriarchived]

[boss music plays as a hp bar appears above my head] hi renee (: i just wanted to say i'm super thankful that i met you this year, and that we literally hit it off and have been vibing ever since. you're such a chill person to hang out with, and i am thankful to have unlocked the frienship dlc with you where we're silly goofy in video games.

i'm sorry but also never sorry for when we start goin back and forth doing critical psychic damage to each other with our unhinged aus and offshoot narratives. you have such a talent and range, and all the muses you have written are ones that feel truly built from the ground up by you. and like, they really are!! i love watching you take a character with little to no lore, and specifically ms maria wronged-by-the-narrative flores, and how you give them the love and care that their creators never will frankly-- danny-alejo osorio > danny gaines every day, mama luda our mom, thomas im scared of you. birdie ur humour and final girl swag. even when hoyt jumpscares us all and dunks on my son im like damn i respect that renee you were so brave and wrote that demon. and ofc maria written as the heart of the narrative doomed or not.

i love building dynamics with you, i love peeking into your creative mind through all your metas, you legit have a garden growing in ur brain. i love that you're willing to get on the insanity level w me w our sad little meowmeows and weave together a story that hurts my feelings every time. i love reading your horror especially, explorations of trauma and the difficult nuances behind it. it inspires me to get a little braver with it and i'm constantly trying to pick up things from your writing! you are funny and kind and a creative powerhouse and i am often simply like damn renee's mind for this…. u know?

anyway all this 2 say ily and i'm glad we're pals, and i hope the new year is kind to you <3!!!

didya enjoy the uno reverse i gave ya for this kels :)) hows that hp bar of yours huh?- FBNJk

you already got all my sappiness in my message to you but do know i so appreciate everything that you said here and in the lil response to the ask as well <3 truly means the world to me how much you guys enjoy where ive been taking my lil texas band of misfits esp with how little they have to go on so most of its my own unhinged nonsense and also just. my writing and characterizations and all of that. esp coming from my hiatus and truthfully feeling rather down and unimpressed with my own writing - knowing you guys not only enjoy it but even pull any little bits of inspiration at all from it warms my heart like you wouldnt believe. so infinitely thank you for that <3

im keeping this saved on here as my last lil posts before this blogs officially archived <3 ilu and thank you again and cannot wait for more of our texas nonsense this year!!! :))

KISSES TO THE SKY TO YOU & OUR FAVORITE JOCK <3

[tiredinfluencer]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀murdoc niccals ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🙏﹗the great leader

⠀⠀⠀indie. rp ⠀⠀⠀matchies w @buztednblue !! ⠀⠀⠀written by codie . ⠀⠀⠀⤿ 30 ⠀⠀⠀⤿ canadian ⠀⠀⠀⤿ i'm also @CARNIVALBEERS on twitter !

꒰ no minors 𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡 . ꒰ ships are fine, just not w/ noodle . & multi ship ꒰ nothing sexually nsfw on the dash ꒰ lewd - focus dni .

⠀⠀⠀⤿ phase 7 focused ⠀⠀⠀⤿ tw for cults / drug & alcohol abuse ⠀⠀⠀/ mental illness / i ship 2doc lmao ⠀⠀⠀/ canon typical / etc. idk ⠀⠀⠀⤿ i do my best to match style & length ⠀⠀⠀of replies in my replies ⠀⠀⠀⤿ don't steal my edits or wtvr ⠀

[faededaway]

Hero's fan meets hero by chance!!

K, one silly idea.

I'm not sure where it ends BUT here it goes:

You are a civilian in today's quirky world. You haven't got a quirk of your own though. It's okay! You've never felt bad about it. Things have worked out for you and you've worked with the things you've got!

So, you're going about your day. You're at the local grocery store at the same time as always. The canned food aisle has your attention for the longest as usual (because you're looking for that one canned item they don't seem to bring in anymore).

Suddenly, you hear a man yell out to you, “your bag! Give it to me or else!”

You turn your back to the shelves to look at what “or else” may be. To your displeasure it looks like a barbed tail like appendage that may or may not be in your appendage if you didn't let go of..... The bag you don't have..

“I would give it to you. Really! I'm so scared right now! I'd really love to give it to you, but I didn't bring one. I only have about $20 on me at the moment”. You bring your hands up to your head to show him the lack of any kind of bag he could have snagged from you.

An angry growl leaves him and you see that he's about to charge at you. So you simply, move out the way to let him crash into the variety of canned goods on the shelves.

Upon headbutting the shelf, about a dozen or so cans fall on his head from the higher shelves and knock him out cold. So you continue your shopping, head to the counter, and let the store clerk know about the incident.

Upon leaving the store, you find yourself in front of a reporter from a well-known news channel. “Are you the person who saved the town's only grocery store from being shutdown by this unhinged barbaric villain?”, the reporter exclaims while pushing their mic onto your face.

“Well, barbarian is a strong word. You see, I only acted in self defense. If it saves my favorite grocery store in the process, I hope I get a discount next time I go.” something about how this whole thing felt like a skit makes you want to go along with whatever the reporter says. No one will actually watch the news about a small town grocery store. So who cares about what you say. Besides, they could just cut the unnecessary stuff out.

“Oh, so do I! They should give you lifetime discount! How did you feel when confronted by this villain? What made you decide to act on your own rather than waiting for our heros to arrive?”, the reporter inches in closer and spits out these words at you.

Now, you're thinking. Right. It's that channel. The anti hero one!

“Erm, well, I didn't act! I just, I didn't do much, really. And, how could a hero know what's going on in every corner of the world? Ya know?? Anyway! The cops took him away!! Problem solved!”, you smile at the camera and wave your hands dismissively.

The reporter nods their head fervently. “Yes, the heroes cannot be relied on”.

Ah-oh no. Did you make things worse? Are you feeding the anti hero propaganda? You don't want that. You have to fix it! You have to say something good!

“Wait, you know. Actually, my- my favorite hero! My favorite hero inspired me to do this! Yes, yes! My favorite hero, always arrives at the scene so confidently. With their radiant smile, and, and calm voice. Telling everyone things will be okay. Yeah! I totally had their voice in my head at that moment. I heard them! Telling me 'breathe easy, 1,2, and 3. It will all be over soon'. Ya know? Ya know, that hero?”. You ramble out as quickly as you can. You're not sure if they'll give you any more of their time but you still take your chances.

“Your favorite hero? Which hero do you speak of?”, the reporter grimaces. Even the camera man gruffs in disgust.

Now, you had a few choices to make. You could mention a few local heroes. Make them a bit more popular. You could mention the top hero. Or you could mention your top hero. Your hero, who actually saves the world with a smile. Hero Fatgum.

“Well, his name is um, he's not a local hero but I'm a big fan. Hero, Hero Fatgum”, you're want to run away now. This is it. This conversation is not real. Your groceries are on the curb. Your soul isn't in your body.

“A fan? What does that mean? Do you make fanart or something?”, the reporter asks. The look like they can't believe you used that word.

Fanart? You do. But, should you say that to them? You wouldn't lose anything because no one watches TV anymore. Or the news. Right? And they can and WILL cut this out!!

“Umm, yeah. I do make fanart sometimes,” you open up your phone to show a fanart of Fatgum bending over to grab hold of a fallen civilian.

The cameraman zooms into your phone. You immediately move to put your phone back in your pocket but the reporter grabs it from you.

“Hm. You're not that bad. Are you famous?”, the reporter now scrolls through your phone as if it's their own. The embarrassment from this makes you fumble out incoherent words. “What was that?”

“I do put them ...on.. this site. Ah, Uh! That's all. I don't have any more fanart” you snatch your phone back and stuff it in your pocket before they could see a ... Truly embarrassing fanart that would make you want to leave the country.

“This site, what's it called?”, you want to question why this anti hero reporter is suddenly this invested in your fanart of a hero but you don't know what that would make them do. So you spell out the name of the site for them and your username.

The reporter finally turns to the camera and away from you, “folks, that was all from the incident of today morning's attempted robbery of the town's only grocery store. A brave fan born from the heroic acts of the braver ones who save the civilians of our land everyday has saved the day. May it inspire us all to be more positive and look at our heros in a new light. Maybe they alone can't save the world, but we together can save ourselves. This has been -”

You tune out the rest of the words. So, the antihero channel is now... Turning over a new leaf? Today? Now? What's going on?

After the reporter and the cameraman wrap you ask them what was going on.

“Oh, yeah. You don't get much government favor by being anti hero. So we decided to find a story that'd help us segue into this new thing. Luckily, we found a good enough story in the morning! Your tangent about being inspired and all, even showing us your fanart?? Great stuff!” the reporter and their partner laugh in relief.

Hot flash runs through your body. On one hand, your purpose is fulfilled. But on the other hand, they will NOT cut out the embarrassing footage of your fanart. Okay. Whatever. You start heading home to sleep this off.

~

You avoid watching the news offline and online for fear that you may see your own face on tv. A week has passed. No one has pointed fingers at you and laughed at you. Someone is yet to bring up your embarrassing tangent. So, you assume you are safe. Thinking so, you go back to your local grocery store for the first time that week.

As usual, you stand in the canned food aisle for a little too long. And today, they actually have the one you're looking for! Canned tropical fruit mix!

When you turn to put the can in your cart, a large shadow towers over you. You tense up. Last week you were lucky to have gotten away unscathed. This time luck may not be on your side. So you brace yourself to run with the cart when you hear, “is it okay if I ask for an autograph?”.

You look up to the source of the voice and freeze. It's Taishiro holding a printed version of your fanart of him asking you to sign it for him. Taishiro, Fat Gum, watched you on the news, visited your blog, printed(and bought) your risque beach fanart of himself carrying you, and is now asking you to sign it for him.

Your hands tighten around the handlebar of the cart. He speaks up again, “I quite like how you drew me here. It's the only one with you in it. I'd like it signed if you wouldn't mind.”

Your favorite hero is in front of you doing something you'd never dream of. Your heart is beating so loudly, you ears are ringing. But you'd be a fool to let this moment go to waste.“Sure. Can I have a picture with you in return?”

“Oh, of course! We could even go grab a bite somewhere if you'd like”. He says as he cocks his head to the side and beams at you.

And that is when you decide to make your fanart turn to reality someday soon.

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

My Top Ten Books of 2022

I read more than 100 books last year, and I thought it would be a useful exercise to list my top 10 favorites that I read for the first time if only so I can reflect a little and gush about my passion for books.  This is in the order I read the books; most of these books are so different it would be really hard to put in any real order (warning: it’s an eclectic list):

1. She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker Chan: This was the first book I read in January of last year.  It’s set in the 1300s in China; I remember it being advertised as similar to Mulan, which doesn’t really do the story justice, other than that the main character is born a girl, but lives as a man and becomes a military general. It was so much more than a Mulan adaptation; and it is quite dark. In particular, I loved the dynamic between the two main characters: they are on different sides of the war, but two sides of the same coin; they both don’t quite fit into society’s expectations of gender.  

2. Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi:  Gyasi is probably my favorite author I discovered this year; both Transcendent Kingdom and her other novel, Homegoing, are absolutely amazing and I cannot recommend either enough.  Transcendent Kingdom is about a neuroscientist who is also the child of African immigrants who is studying the science of addiction.  The story reflects on how her family has been impacted by addiction and the immigrant experience.  The prose is absolutely beautiful and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this story since I finished it.

3. Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler: I cannot believe I waited until last year to read Butler; her writing is as impressive as I’m sure you’ve already heard.  There’s not much I can say about Parable of the Sower that hasn’t been said a million times (all deserved), but I will say that I usually hate dystopias, even vaunted ones such as 1984 and a Brave New World. I read Parable of Sower fully expecting to hate it as well, and left simply blown away (and somehow even oddly optimistic about the future of humanity.)

4. The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich: This is the third book I’ve read of Erdrich’s and my favorite, though I’ve loved everything she’s written.  This story is based on the real life story of the author’s grandfather.  The story involves several characters living in reservation in North Dakota and their fight to lobby for their rights land and their identity.

5. Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid:  Look, I’m not going to try to justify this; I just love hockey and I love rivals to lovers and I love hockey romances and this one is the creme de le creme; it was written specifically for me.

 6. The Locked Tomb Series by Tasmyn Muir: I read several fantasy series last year, and I liked plenty of them, but the Locked Tomb is the one I can’t stop thinking about.  The characters are all super weird and unhinged and awful and I adore them all.  Their relationship dynamics are problematic and toxic and ridiculous and juicy.  I cannot succinctly describe the plot in any way that would make sense. I cannot wait for the final book.

7. Young Mungo by Douglass Stewart: This book gutted me; I rarely cry while reading books and I had to put this down so I could lie in a ball.  It’s a coming of age novel about a young queer boy coming to terms with his identity in set in Glasgow in I think the 1990s.  If you choose to read this book, please look up the content warnings, it is not in any way an easy read, but it did have a surprisingly hopeful ending, even if I was crying.

8. The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth: This is another surprising addition to the list; I am no longer really the target audience for YA, and I had pretty much sworn off YA romance after disliking a few others. But, I decided to pick this up on a whim and I’m so glad I did.  It is a very sweet wlw romance and coming of age story, but what really stuck out to me was the main character’s struggles with her mother’s early onset Alzheimer’s and how that affects her life.  I read plenty of very good wlw romance (Deliliah Green Doesn’t Care and a Restless Truth are two more I’d highly recommend) but this one stood out.

9. The Narrative of the Life of Frederic Douglass, American Slave by Frederic Douglass: I have read a good number of historical fiction novels which show the horrors of slavery, but while many of those are very very good, I didn’t really realize the extent to which none can really compare to reading a first hand account of the experience until reading Douglass’s work.  Like everyone, I learned about Frederic Douglass’s life, but sadly was never required to read anything he wrote in school.  He is an amazing writer and storyteller and a truly remarkable person.  Everyone should read this book at least once.

10. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: I had read part of this book in high school, but never actually sat down and read the whole thing.  I’m not usually a fan of horror, and I was worried it wouldn’t be my thing.  However, I shouldn’t have put this off so long.  Mary Shelley truly is the mother of science fiction and Frankenstein is an unforgettable experience. 

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

🍓;3

mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!

((Blair Blair Blair Blair...!! I sing your praises all of the damn time and I'LL DO IT AGAIN. I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW, BITCH. Present unto me your arm so that I may lovingly gnaw it off~

Okay for real now; how can I even begin to tell you how much you mean to me without going on for pages and pages???? You're legit one of the best rp partners and friends I've ever had and this blog wouldn't exist without you.

Our interactions are a constant source of inspiration for me; so much so that there's never any room for doubt whenever I'm replying to our things, writing you a starter, etc, simply because I trust you and our bond so explicitly. The anxiety that so often plagues me when writing for others just doesn't exist with you (which is really saying something given how much of a fuck my brain can be, especially in regards to writing) and I cannot even being to describe to you the relief that said knowledge brings me but I'll try, if only a little.

No matter what we always do our best for each other and I never have to worry about any of it. I never feel like I have to ask you if you like something---and if I do it's only ever out of extreme enthusiasm and I want to hear you reaction, thoughts, blah blah, Right Then---because we're just so....in sync with each other. I never feel like you're going to hate something I've written for you or that you'd want a rewrite (which, obviously if that ever comes up you know I'd do it for you in a heartbeat! I'm just talking about intuition and such here, I'm sure you understand) and I cannot begin to describe to you how....freeing that is. Our interactions inspire nothing but unhinged creative freedom and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I love you so fuckin much it's unreal. I love the impact you've had on my life. I love the impact your muse has had on mine and I can't wait to create more things with you. (You better be prepared to fuckin love a certain bird man, I swear to god---) You've been an unwavering and irreplaceable source of joy and support in my life and my only regret is that I didn't meet you sooner.))

[honestlyfragile]

We Meet Again - d.s.c oneshot

This was a little too long to be a drabble, but let’s be sad together

Pairing: Winwin!Fem reader

Angst, exes, mention of alcohol and cigarettes

wc: 1.5k

This was it. The night you've looked forward to but at the same time, dreaded like hell. When your friend asked you, "Would it be okay if I invited him?" who were you to say no? Just because he was your ex? You were better than that. So you convinced yourself it would be fine, 3 years was long enough right?

You've played this in your head over and over, but things like this never go as planned. When the night of your friend's birthday party came, you dressed to impress. Who? None other than your ex. Pathetic.

But who cares if you did? They wouldn't know that you've been dying to look your best for Sicheng.

When the night of your friend's party came, you made sure that you were early enough to arrive first while tagging another friend along. The first thing you did was scan the venue for any signs of him—none.

And you exhale as much as you could. It wasn't long until he finally arrived, with Ten, Xiaojun and Yangyang whom you also haven't seen in a long time. But you pretend to not bat an eyelash at their presence, you had to convince everyone in this place that you were unfazed and unbothered.

But of course there was always that one person that could read you like an open book. "You okay?" your friend asks and you crumble inside.

"I wanna step out for a bit," You say, trying to defeat this billowing feeling in your chest that grew by the minute.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'm good on my own." Sure you were. Until you realized you had to pass the table he was assigned to on your way out. But it would be too embarrassing to turn back. You held onto your clutch and looked towards the exit and that direction only. The clicking sound of your heels against the tiled floor giving you a tad bit of confidence.

You saw it, you saw him. From your peripheral vision, you knew that the moment you passed by, he reached for his phone and pretended to be occupied with something.

When you were finally out to gather some fresh air, you took time to appreciate how clear this night was. You take a cigarette out of your bag and pop the tip into your mouth, and search for your lighter in your purse. But before you could even do so, your mouth was left agape because of the absence of the cigarette stick.

"You only do this when you're stressed," He says, delicately holding it in between his pretty fingers.

You cross your arms, "It's none of your business." And snatch it back from Sicheng. Who does he think he is?

But god damn if you didn't think that he looked absolutely stunning—more than ever. Until you remind yourself that you absolutely do not have anything to do with him anymore.

You walk further away and look for a spot where he wouldn't bother you and finally lit your cigarette; your puffs heavy and aggressive. When you were done, you drop it on the floor and stomp the burning tip with your heels.

You walk back to the venue feeling unhinged by his presence, it was harder than you thought.

"Too early to be grabbing some drinks hm?" Ten playfully says while appearing at your side.

"Oh my god! It's been so long." You give him a hug and kiss his cheek. You've always stayed in good terms with his friends, especially Ten. You couldn't deny the fact that you missed them a ton.

He flashes you the brightest smile, "I know." He says, contemplating whether to ask you about Sicheng or not. "Have you..." he trails off.

"Have I..." you mimic him.

"Have you spoke to him?"

You chuckle, "Nah." You leave the encounter awhile ago out of the conversation.

Ten simply nods, not wanting to make it awkward and proceeds to ask how you've been, you tell him that you were fine and just always the same girl he knew. He was happy to hear that.

And when the universe cannot hold your encounters with Sicheng off any longer, you decided to let it be. You can't avoid him forever.

When yours and his table merge, he takes notes of the names of the people that he met tonight and recites them out loud, but leaves you out of it. You pout and playfully said, "What about me?" like you were out of your mind.

He chuckles, amused. "How could I ever forget you." He says and the crowd roars. Of course they knew your past.

You shake your head and take another shot of whatever drink you picked out from the selection at the bar and continued to try and belong to this circle.

"How have you been?" He asks, completely sober. Good for him.

"I've been alright. You?"

"Same." And left it at that. When you couldn't stand it any longer you left his side and took more shots for the sake of enjoying this night, giving your friend quite a hard time getting a hold of you.

And when you knew you've had enough, you sit at the empty table because most of the people have left the venue already; it was getting late.

To your surprise he also pulls out a chair and sits right in front of you, trying to take in your drunk and pathetic figure. Or if that's what you'd like to think.

"Are you okay?" He asks, brushing off the hair that had managed to clump in front of your face because of the sweat that consuming alcohol gave you.

You could cry right now, you felt so damn vulnerable that if you looked straight into his eyes, you would simply just lose everything it took you to be here. "I'm alright" You say, looking at every direction possible but his.

"How are you?"

You chortle, "You asked me that a while ago. I told you I'm good."

He purses his lips in disbelief, "I'm asking you for real."

"What do you want to hear from me Sicheng? That I've been an absolute mess without you?" Fuck. You did not just say that.

"No," He clenches his jaw. You might have gone a little too far. "You haven't changed." he says disdainfully.

"So have you." You shrug, having absolutely no control over your thoughts and words to even formulate proper sentences.

But despite everything he still manages to say, "You look beautiful."

To hell, if you could cry right now. Why the hell did he make it so hard for you, even when you weren't together anymore. "You don't look bad yourself," you retort, not knowing what to say at this point.

He asks you about how your mom was doing since they used to be close when you guys still dated, she even thought that you'd end up with him for good. She was devastated when she found out you broke up. You say that she's doing fine, but never really accepted the fact that you weren't going to get back together anymore.

He didn't know how to respond to that. Because he felt the same. He hated the idea of you not getting back together anymore.

“But are you?”

“Am I what?” 

You waited for him to respond, “Have you been a mess without me? Because sure as hell I have been without you.” 

There was a long silence. He’s unbelievable. You thought. He thinks he could just sway you with his words again, 3 years later you were back to square one. You couldn’t let him get his way again. 

Finally, you say, “No. I was asking if that’s what you wanted to hear,” you pause and gather all your courage to ask this question ever since you found out from a friend. It had been bothering you for 3 years. “Did you really cheat on me?” 

He takes a deep breath, and answers, “No. She was a friend. A friend I was leaning onto when we were falling apart. We never became an item.” 

You laugh bitterly, not being able to help the escape of your tears. “Right.” was all you could say. 

Your friend saves you from the awkwardness, “___ it’s time to go” She says from afar and you gather your strength to get up from your seat, but you trembled. He held your arm to keep you still. 

You didn’t know if you should shake his hand, wave goodbye or just walk away. But before you could even decide, he had already engulfed you into a hug. Your head on his chest, staining his white button-down with your tears as his hand lightly pressed your head onto him. His scent was still so familiar to you, his hands still as gentle and delicate when it came to you.

You couldn’t take this anymore, you had to break away. You couldn’t throw away the 3 years you spent on yourself to get better. You swallow, “I have to go.” And didn’t wait for his response. 

“Take care.” You faintly hear him say from a distance, you didn’t look back. 

[greensaplinggrace]

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited���there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨