#i simply cannot imagine him as my [REDACTED]

[politicalmamaduck]

I cannot even begin to express the extent to which I'm internally screaming right now. I am praying to every patron Saint of lawyers, civil servants, et al. that a certain alleged human trafficker/rapist doesn't get confirmed.

[offorestsongs]

OC INTRODUCTION ❣ LYSANDER (ver. 2.0)

BASIC INFORMATION

full name 🌼 Lysander [last name redacted] nicknames 🌼 Prefect (other students), Lys (friends), Lyssie (Cater), Krill (Floyd), Monsieur Fleur (Rook) species 🌼 just the most normal human guy imaginable height 🌼 162 cm age 🌼 19 y/o birthday 🌼 [redacted] gender 🌼 trans male (he/him) sexuality 🌼 gay man hometown 🌼 normal human world (the UK specifically) dorm 🌼 Ramshackle class 🌼 1-A club 🌼 Sewing Club favorite subject 🌼 potionology dominant hand 🌼 left talent 🌼cooking, home renovations hobby 🌼 gardening, embroidery favorite food 🌼 mushroom soup least favorite food 🌼black coffee pet peeve 🌼people being in the kitchen when he's cooking

PERSONALITY

Usually standing on the sidelines and not speaking much unless spoken to, Lysander tends to get overlooked by others. If not, others may think him to be anti-social and unapproachable; his usual grave expression certainly doesn't help his case. However, it cannot be further from the truth.

Lysander is a kind-hearted person who deeply cares for others and is always willing to put their well-being above his own, often to a unhealthy degree. He hates being lonely and desperately wants to have friends, but his quite isolated upbringing didn't give him much of a chance to learn how to properly socialize with others. While he's not exactly shy, it's hard for him to make the first step. He's never quite sure how to approach other people or maintain relationships with them. The fact that he's not exactly a great conversationalist doesn't help him - he feels like he's never learned how to properly talk to people and so he second guesses his every word, worried that he had once again missed an important social cue, which he's prone to doing. In turn, he considers talking quite tiring and definitely prefers listening to others.

Famously bad at saying "no" to people, even when he knows he will regret the decision later; he's just too afraid that refusing to help others will make people hate him and he can't stand seeing his friends inconvenienced. Feels responsible for other people's problems, which probably stems from the fact that he was forced to care for his entire house ever since he was very young. Not that suddenly having to deal with a bunch of traumatised teenagers helps with that.

Really sensitive and emotional, a hopeless romantic at heart, and also, unfortunately, really prone to stress. In crisis situations, his usual response is freeze.

Not used to having much free time, he's always busing himself with something. If it's not cleaning Ramshackle then it's tending to his garden or helping his classmates with their homework or working shifts at the Mostro Lounge. No matter what it is, he simply cannot sit still. He's highly independent and while he does everything to help others, he hates getting help from anyone and tries to do everything by himself. Refusing help is about the only time he will firmly stand his ground and say no.

BACKSTORY

He would love to know as well! The past comes to him in flashes, often triggered by sensations related to the memory. What he had remembered so far doesn't particuraly make him want to go back.

He remembers living in a big, old house, not that different from Ramshackle. He remembers his bedroom, spending long, empty days there, looking out the window. He doesn't remember anything about his parents, just his grandma. She's a looming, dreaded presence in all of Lysander's memories. Any potential siblings or relatives - he doesn't remember anything about them either. Maybe he never had any.

But most imporatntly - he remembers the deep, overwhelming sense of loneliness that seemed to follow his every step.

RELATIONSHIPS

Grim: “He's a bit horrible sometimes, but he's my kitty! Ace says I enable him too much and maybe that's true, but honestly I don't know what I would do without him.”

Riddle: “Poor boy. He was quite horrible to me in the beginning, but…I don't really blame him. There's something about him that makes me almost relate to him, you know? I try to meet up with him for tea when I can. He's a quite good companion once you get to know him.”

Ace: “Honestly, I never thought I'd be friends with somebody like him. Not in a bad way! But he's just so bold and brazen, I wish I could be more like him… He won't stop calling me an old man though…”

Deuce: “He's just such a darling! I can see he's always trying his best, so I try to help him out with his studying when I can.”

Trey: “He’s a sweetheart! And he knows so much about baking! I didn’t have much time to indulge in making sweets before but he’s always willing to share some advice as long as I help him out in the kitchen, which is so nice.”

Cater: “Cater was actually one of the first friends I’ve made here. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ace and Deuce, but it’s nice to have somebody closer in age to converse with. And it can be confusing when I’m new at school while everyone seems to already know everyone, but he always knows all the rumors so I don’t feel lost with him.”

Leona: “He’s a bit scary but I know he has a good heart deep down. Not good enough to let me pet his ears though…”

Ruggie: “Sometimes I feel bad for him. It seems that life hasn’t been kind to him, and he’s always working so hard! Sometimes I cook too much so I can give the leftovers to him - it’s the best I can do.”

Jack: “He’s always so serious but he’s such a sweet boy. Sometimes I go to Spelldrive matches just to cheer him on, though I’m still not quite sure if I even understand how the sport works.”

Azul: “I know some people don’t trust him but he was always nice to me! When he saw that I’m struggling with money, he offered me a job, which I think is awfully nice of him. He pays me fairly and I think that’s all that matters.”

Jade: “He’s actually quite nice! He knows a lot about different flora and he’s always willing to talk about it, too. We don’t really spend much time together but I love listening to him when I can.”

Floyd: “I- I don’t want to be mean, but there’s just something about him that makes a shiver run down my spine. I prefer to not be alone with him if I can.”

Kalim: “What a darling! He’s always so sweet and nice to me, it’s a delight to be around him. I just wish he’d stop offering he’d share some of his family riches with me… I’m running out of ways to refuse, which is quite awkward.”

Jamil: “We’re not really close but I do respect him a great deal. I wish I could help him and Kalim somehow, but I guess some things are outside even my capabilities.”

Vil: “He’s really intimidating, I used to be a bit afraid of him. But he’s actually really sweet once you get to know him! He has helped me a lot with many things and I’ll forever be grateful to him. I think he’s one of my best friends, though I’m not sure if he thinks the same about me…”

Rook: “Oh- I- Well- Um. Yes. He’s quite nice, isn’t he? And he’s pretty… uh, a pretty good friend! Yes! We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently and- I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I feel around him. Quite mortifying.”

Epel: “Ah, I do understand him a lot. I too often struggle with not feeling like I’m a man enough, as stupid as it is. I wish I could offer him some guidance, but I’m not really qualified for that.”

Idia: “I’m not really sure how I feel about him. We don’t really spend much time together and truth be told, I usually have no idea what he’s talking about. Cater said that’s because I touch too much grass, whatever that means.”

Ortho: “The sweetest boy! He’s always such a joy to be around, sometimes I wish I could steal him from Idia… Don’t tell him that!”

Malleus: “I know well how it is to not have any friends, so I’m always happy to offer him company. We seem to understand each other and he never expects me to talk a lot which is awfully sweet of him.”

Lilia: “He’s a bit eccentric and a bit intimidating, but I don’t mind him. In fact, I’ve often come to him for advice. He seems to know a lot about life for a student.”

Silver: “Like Malleus, he simply lets me sit in comfortable silence with him, which I really appreciate. I really hope we can be closer friends someday.” Sebek: “His dedication to Malleus is really admirable, but I do think this boy needs more friends. Not me, apparently. I don’t think he likes me much, even though I never get in his way.”

TRIVIA

the only other time he will say no to people is when they try to help him with cooking; he has a very particular way of doing things in the kitchen and hates when other mess up what he considers his most sacred space

a big animal lover, especially when it comes to cats - he'll try to pet every stray cat he sees on his way. and like a proper Disney princess, animals seem to be especially drawn to him

he's very afraid of losing his memories again - because of that, he started keeping a journal where he writes down the important details of his new life. he carries it with him everywhere

he's autistic, though he was never officially diagnosed. his grandma was more the "vaccines cause autism" type than "take the child in your care to see a specialist"

almost always feels cold, which is why he's usually bundled in thick sweaters

doesn't like throwing things away, which means that Ramshackle is always full of usueless but sentimental trinkets

he's nearsighted. his eyesight is actually pretty bad - anything past the distance of his outstreched hand is a blurr to him

feels very insecure about his height and so he always wears shoes with heels

his hair magically magically turned pink after getting isekaied

tends to call people "darling" and "sweetheart" a lot

posesses a wide array of very random skills, mostly having to do with doing things around the house. he can also do some simple lockpicking - he has no idea how or why he had learned that

since none of the clubs interested him, he decided to take a leaf out of Malleus' book and start his own. despite being named the Sewing Club, all sorts of textile/fiber crafts are considered an acceptable activity. he does his best to encourage other students to join

he's very interested in historical fashion

some people say that there's something about him that gives off almost an uncanny valley sort of vibe, especially his tendency to look at people with wide, unblinking eyes. he seems to be completely unaware of the effect he has on others

he suffers from insomnia; he falls asleep easier when he's around somebody else, especially when it's somebody he already feels comfortable with

since he doesn't remember his birthday, he started celebrating the day he came to Twisted Wonderland as his birthday

while he's not very academically gifted, he spends a lot of time studying, as he feels like he has a responsibility to keep up good grades since he's already in NRC as a special case

dividers. intro template by @/ai-kan1

[leonawriter]

It's fascinating and kinda funny to me how P4 is one of the only ones where I'm like, "yeah sure I get that the developers may have intended a certain route more than others, but I simply cannot see any that would actually stick or work."

If we just go with the girls (putting Yosuke to one side, and treating Naoto as one for the sake of "well, the canon game does, and gives her a romance route"), then we have - from the party members, at least, who Yu wouldn't be literally lying to by omission about the existence of the TV world - Yukiko, Chie, Rise, and Naoto. Marie is also added in Golden.

(bear in mind this isn't that serious, and even on the ones I don't really agree with, if I think there's potential I won't outright dismiss it.)

Just going with the base game?

Yeah sorry but I cannot see Yukiko or Chie as anything other than lesbians. Like - even if we ARE just going with the basic Japanese societal read on this, it isn't even that far fetched for them to see girls fooling around with those sorts of feelings as kids. Yeah, it's something they see kids "growing out of" but it Exists.

Another point against Yukiko is, to me, that she's kinda... the story ties her down. She is stuck in Inaba. Her SL even has her choose this, in that once she finishes high school she'll go into learning how to run the inn properly.

Personally, I find it difficult to imagine Yu being "the Inn Manager's husband," although that's just me.

Chie... same as above, tbh. Although, ironically, I can see them working out better due to Yu being canonically a mystery solver, and Chie joining the police, under Yu's uncle. it's not... an infeasible match.

Rise is one of my preferred ships for Yu, but the thing is? In spite of how much she flirts with him, the moment she goes back to her Idol lifestyle, that kinda... all goes down the drain. Being an idol means having absolutely zero private life, or personal life, and there's no space for a boyfriend (or girlfriend). Anything they might have would have to be put on hold for her career, until either her publicist figures out a way to sell it, or until she stops being an idol altogether.

Naoto... uh... is to me a big "not interested" and "does not work out" because a) her "romance" route sucks from what I've seen, and b) the game heavily implies she and Kanji have a Mutual Interest, so my perspective is that when the player has Yu romance Naoto, you're breaking them up before they could even get started. How cruel.

Marie... well. I'm gonna be honest that when I went through the P4G playthrough I watched, I didn't really like her, but that's because she reads as the kind of emo scene kid that she really kinda is. But, like... she effectively fits with her contemporary (2011 and thereabouts) age group, and she's literally got the appearance of a 15 year old (give or take a godly length of lifetime for erased memories). Sure, she's a... massive spoiler, but you can take the way Yu acts in bringing her back to her senses to mean that feelings might be returned. Doesn't stop her [redacted] spoiler nature, though, and it doesn't stop people from treating her like marmite, because you either love her or hate her.

So, basically? To me? We have two lesbians who are Orientation Incompatible, one teen idol who will have to pretend nothing's happening in public, someone who's currently interested in someone else, and someone who was originally a resident of the Velvet Room he wasn't in a lot of contact with after he left Inaba, iirc.

That SURE IS an eclectic bunch of misfits, most of whom are gonna have a hard time dating him. And that's with me playing devil's advocate for a few!

After all that, and if you decide you don't want to just push past the issues they'd have or come up with your own way it'd work, you're left with either the non-party members (and remember: Yu does not tell them about the TV world, as far as I'm aware) and the guys.

Kanji is interested in Naoto. Like, canonically still blushes around her in the January/February content. I'd say not impossible but you'd have to compete with Naoto in his head.

Teddie is... well... he's Teddie. Mentally closer to Nanako's age - and that's based on how they act around each other, as much as anything. He's more the little brother of the group.

And then. Then, there's Yosuke. Yosuke "Hey, Partner, remember my scrapped romance route" Hanamura. Who seems to understand Yu and is the first to go to him most of the time, who came from the city so they can bond on that, who gets Yu. Which isn't even me trying to just go "Yu/Yosuke propaganda!" but I am just looking at them and being like. "Wow. That sure does work out nicely if you ship 'em."

All this because I'm sure I've seen two different people at totally different times suggest that Yu's "intended love interest" was Yukiko when... my gut reaction was just "what? what? no. absolutely not." And yet when I'd try and think who would be (at least in the base game), I'd come up a blank.

If it's not a teammate and we're excluding the guys, I'd actually go with Marie. Although I wouldn't say that's because I believe in the ship, so much as "well, there's objectively nothing wrong with it, or that I'd say would get in the way." Which. Well. Is more than I can say for a lot of the others. Plus, even though I don't ship it, the idea of a guy whose Persona even in future instalments is basically a nuke with Myriad Truths pairing up with someone like her, does have a certain "battle/badass couple" vibe to it.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi, if you're still doing the matchups, I'd love to see what you have in store!

Song fixations

-- Currently, I've been listening to MARK CHAPMAN by Måneskin. The first lyrics that came to my mind was the end of the first verse and the chorus.

Ma se soltanto avesse La possibilità Ti seguirebbe al quattro angoli della città Nascosto fra la gente Senza un'identità Dice che mi ama ma lo so che mente

Si muove a piede libero Vestito come un incubo Vuole tu sia in pericolo Però'ti chiama idolo

Translated as: "But if only he had the possibility, It would follow you to the four corners of the city. Hidden among the people, without an identity. He says he loves me but I know he's lying. He moves freely, dressed like a nightmare. He wants you to be in danger, but he calls you an idol." I'm not entirely sure why these lyrics stand out to me in the way they do, but oh well. I've also been listening to READ YOUR DIARY from the same album.

The Redacted Part of this Ask

-- I absolutely love Hush's introductory video. The sound design and overall ambiguity surrounding his character at that point was so absolutely intriguing on its first release, and I still listen to it regularly.

I never was able to get into Asher, unfortunately. I know that there's probably so much more to his story, but it's just never clicked with me.

I would completely and absolutely love to befriend Huxley. I am a total Plant Slut, and I have (quite frankly) a concerning amount of house plants. Having someone who is not only Chill as Fuck to hang with, but could also help with the plants? That is a friendship that I need.

Book/series/tv show

-- Just solely by the volume of it that I watch, I could probably recall any given episode of Dimension 20. I watch it while crocheting, and so when I'm just chilling and have time on my hands, dice time it goes. I could probably name every insane Nat 20 Ally made in FH:FY and every intimidating Evan Kelmp line in Misfits + Magic.

Various other info (Sleepy time, Enneagram, etc)

-- My go-to way to fall asleep is, unfortunately, staying awake until I physically cannot keep my eyes open any longer. When I do get sleepy, I talk about stationary. It's something I've been into for a long time, and when I simply do not have the filter to not talk about my interests, I unleash everything about pens and notebooks that I know on the poor soul who is near me.

I'm a type 5 on the Enneagram and am currently pursuing a degree in Mathematics. Ideally, I want to go to grad school. I just really, really, fucking love maths. It is the best subject.

Gas Station. I normally do a water, a monster zero ultra, and kettle-cooked salt and vinegar chips.

Other than all of this, I'm just a dude. Just a silly little guy, if you will. Teehee. Have fun!

So this one was both so fun but so hard. You’re so interesting, you’ve got so much going on- a typical Type Five. Not to make you sound like a Manic Pixie Dream Boy but god, James could use you in his life.

By that, I mean Type Five’s are characterized as thoughtful, unique free-thinkers prone to philosophy and complexity. I think James respects and admires these qualities in you in addition to your pursuit of higher education. (I don’t think he knows a ton about math, but I do think he likes to hear you talk about it.) Complementing that, he loves the more unexpected, chaotic parts of you. Like, can you imagine listening to your thoughts and the cognitive dissonance of theorems versus Riz going up a corn monster’s butt? You keep him on his toes in the best way.

Another reason James strikes me as a good match for you is how easy, I think, it’ll be for him to take you with him to ETS. He could listen to Dimension 20 when he misses you, deeply confusing his coworkers who can’t picture him as a DnD guy. Like, I don’t think you would have had time to crochet him a blanket before he left, but maybe he’s got gloves, a scarf, socks, something you made for him that he can touch. Also, can’t you imagine sending him on his work trip with a little plant? The bonding opportunities for James and Anton to take care of their plants and miss their lovers write themselves!

Song:

Gonna soften the blow, soften the blow and give it up/ I saw the surprise, the look in your eyes, I gave it up/ Gonna be who I am, be who I am, and give it up/ I traveled the way/ Wait for me, wait for me/ It's all better now, it's all better now/ Wait for me, wait for me

James strikes me as an indie, alt rock kind of guy, so Kings of Leon would be a good fit for him. I like this song for y’all for that reason and the fact it’s got a sweet, longing kind of feel. Also, “wait for me” when he’s on that business trip a little incel motherfucker made that much longer just hits.

Runner-ups:

Anton is obviously a runner-up; like, he came to mind first. However, James strikes me as more interesting and therefore a better match for someone as interesting as you. Lasko is another runner-up because I think y’all would really share interests and hobbies. If I were doing platonic match-ups, he’d have been at the top of list.

note: thank you for waiting 🧡

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[charlescoded]

Quack quack!

Today i have two things to tell you!

1. About age gap omegaverse, it makes me go 🤩. Imagine the first time tp max lays his eyes on and smell the pretty little omega 🤩🤩 and he thinks this beautiful boy should be [REDACTED]. I can't help but think about what will happen if the omega from the small team is able to grab a RB seat, although he's talented. Streets will say he use whatever a gorgeous omega can use, including his body 😳, to seduce the new tp. Charles will definitely feel that his potential is underestimated just because he's a pretty omega. Will he be sad or want to prove everyone wrong or both? How his tp is going to deal with this and at the same time hide how much he wants to [REACTED] that pretty little thing??

2. The pic of charles and chiara makes me want to scream my lung out that THIS MAN SHOULD BE IMPREGNATED. I don't understand why men on the grid take so long to complete this task. He's so beautiful with babies and everything about him radiates an energy of someone who is ready to carry babies 🥰 so you can turn every aus you have into omegaverse and i'll be coming here to tell you how much i love your work.

- 🦆

oh, people already talk about charles seducing his way into f1 by spreading his legs for a sauber seat, if he ends up at a big team the voices will only get louder. unfortunately he's used to it, but he'll use it to fuel his determination <3 but first you have to ask yourself a different question, would charles go to red bull at all? 🤔

either way, before that decision is even made, max would be very vocal about charles' talents, blatantly calling people out on their shit for even questioning it in the first place... he won't hide how much he admires charles' driving at all, but people will always think max wants to fuck him simply because max is an alpha and charles an omega (they're right that he wants to fuck him, but he'd want to fuck charles even if he was an alpha sooo the reason why is wrong lmao)

those pictures are going to be the death of me fr, im still not over them 😵‍💫 he looked soooo good, i cannot stop thinking about all the different ideas that i have for it. you'd think that all this would make writing inyjy ch3 easier, but noooo, i keep getting distracted by new thoughts asldkjfdsf

[inland--empire]

As usual my brain is full of cute [redacted] moments. Please imagine Virtue has just finished creating his universe and lies down to rest on some planet at the beginning of its life cycle, beneath its first towering, unmoving organism not unlike what would one day be called a tree. A very small young being of a species that will someday develop into civilizations spots him from behind some rocks, and is shocked to see something so unlike anything it has ever seen before, a being it can’t quite perceive, his form shimmering in colours it didn’t even know it could see. His presence is overwhelmingly vast but not remotely threatening, whatever he is seems to be asleep, and the little one is just too curious not to take a closer look. Even from up close, his form is multicolored, hazy and motionless, and the little being stands and stares in wonder for a little while. It decides that it simply must tell its family about this strange occurrence. Its older siblings scoff at the outlandish idea haphazardly described in its primitive language, but its parent decides it’s worth investigating, so they take a look together in the next morning. When they arrive at the location, however, the strange being is now awake, his features indescribable but vaguely in the shape of one of their kind. The child is excited to see his friend awake, but the adult is terrified of something so… other. He makes the gesture of a peaceful greeting, easing the adult’s fear ever so slightly.

“What are you?” asks the child.

Virtue tries not to show how excited and nervous he is simultaneously; this is his first encounter with his own creations! He is unsure what to say, but eventually settles on “I am Someone Else,” and extends a hand out towards the two beings.

The child grabs one of his fingers with a tiny hand first. The sensation is most peculiar: the digit is strangely warm and seems to fade in and out of being at regular intervals, though the child has absolutely no trouble holding on. Its body language shows nothing but joy.

The adult steps tentatively forward and also takes Virtue’s finger. Now that it is up close to him, his presence doesn’t feel frightening at all. On the contrary, it feels comforting, safe.

“It is good to see you, Someone Else!”

Though they cannot see it, Virtue is overwhelmed with happiness. He simply cannot help himself, and a swirling array of colors fills the sky as the two beings look up in wonder.

Virtue has a feeling he is at the start of something beautiful, and he cannot be more correct.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

[thebreakfastgenie]

out of genuine curiosity, why don’t you want to write bj goes to Maine?

Well, for starters—and this probably answers your question—I hate BJ/Hawkeye. 

I capitalized BJ Goes to Maine to specify that I was referring to the popular fandom trope, not the concept of BJ ever traveling to the state of Maine. I’m not saying I’ll never write BJ going to Maine for a visit or trope subversion, because I did, but I'm not likely to do it again (except [redacted]). 

As for as BJ Goes to Maine the trope, the problems I have with it could fill libraries. This is basically just a start. 

The heart of it is, it requires characterization so atrociously OOC, I don’t recognize either character. Literally the first question I asked when I encountered BJ Goes to Maine was “what about Erin?” I have never gotten a satisfactory answer to that. The BJ we see in canon loves and wants to be with Peg. Even taking an alternative interpretation of their marriage, or saying circumstances have changed for them, does not change the fact that they share a child. BJ would not leave Erin to go to Maine. A fanfiction BJ who would abandon his child his someone I would be actively rooting against. 

BJ Goes to Maine is all about BJ. He is the one taking action, the only one making a choice. Hawkeye just waits around for BJ to show up and declare his love. Hawkeye has no agency. He’s reduced to a love interest and not even a complex one. In the show, Hawkeye constantly fights for agency, while at the mercy of a system doing everything to take it from him. Once he’s finally free to live his own life, he’s not going to let anyone determine its course for him. When Hawkeye feels strongly about something, he takes action. We see it again and again and again. If he wants something, he’s not going to sit and wait for it to come to him. 

Despite my penchant for angst, I like happy endings, and BJ Goes to Maine isn’t one. If Hawkeye and BJ remain the most important people in each other’s lives, they have to remain who they who during the war forever. It defines them and they never escape. That’s just about the bleakest thing I can imagine. They need to move on, and Hawkeye already has. Some kind of grand romcom reversal isn’t consistent with who they are. MASH isn't a romance and I don’t want to turn it into one. Intentionally or not, BJ Goes to Maine turns the Korean War into the thing that brought BJ and Hawkeye together. There is a whole complex conversation to be had about how fic that focuses on the characters and their relationships engages with the themes and message of the show, but ultimately I don't believe in policing what people write. I simply don’t like it.

The reality of Hawkeye and BJ is that their lives are not compatible. They’re very different and they were briefly brought together by the war. The bittersweetness of that parting being inherent to them finally getting their lives back is a major theme of not just the finale, but the entire show. Putting any characters together undermines that, but putting Hawkeye and BJ together undermines it more than anyone else, because of the relationship they had. The relationship they had onscreen was entirely dependent upon circumstances and cannot exist after the war ends. Hawkeye knows this and he accepts it, he just wants closure. When BJ tries to suggest ways they could see each other again and Hawkeye says “in other words, goodbye,” he isn’t just saying all of them having dinner is unlikely—though it is—he’s saying they’ll become people who get together and have dinner. That’ll be all that's left, a toast to whatever closeness they once had. And Hawkeye is okay with it. He's sad about it, but he’s okay with it. BJ refuses to accept it and refuses Hawkeye that closure, but I think deep down he knows it too, because his last word to Hawkeye is goodbye, even if he doesn’t say it. 

BJ Goes to Maine is antithetical to GFA. Hawkeye and BJ’s goodbye is final. BJ going to Maine is just saying haha, we didn’t mean it! We take it back! Why would I do that to such a great, poignant ending? It’s the lazy sequel way out, like how Andre Aciman ruined the best part of Call Me By Your Name (Elio realizing over time, as he has more relationships, Oliver remains important but stops being the most important) by having Oliver casually leave his wife and kids to go to Italy in Find Me. There's a reason Alan Alda said he didn’t know if Hawkeye and BJ ever saw each other again. 

I’m also not sure BJ would. He makes a choice in GFA, and he doesn’t choose Hawkeye. I don't blame BJ for leaving the first chance he gets, and I don't think Hawkeye would either if he handled it better. But he clearly demonstrates his priorities, and they are not Hawkeye. He only comes back because he’s forced to, and he isn’t happy about it. None of this foreshadows someone who’d uproot his life to go to Maine. Again, it would be dependent upon a wild change of heart that just isn’t consistent. BJ can barely handle being around Hawkeye while he’s hospitalized, which again I don’t really blame him for, but that doesn’t tell me he would go to Maine. If he did go, I don't see it ending well. If I didn't think BJ and Hawkeye had negative romantic chemistry, I wouldn’t be able to see a future for them. 

The tl:dr is you don’t write things you don’t like, and I hate BJ Goes to Maine. 

I'm posting this now so it doesn't get eaten a third time, but I may come back with and another thing-

[chussyracing]

☕ charles because I cannot help myself

Our sweetest baby, our little sunshine, the reason we wake up in the morning, our shared community girlfriend, our tiny little cherub, our sweet lil duckling, the cutest darling, the most polite babyboy, the snuggliest cuddle bug.

chrainrot (charles brainrot) under the cut

I can never put into words what he means to me, I like him so much it makes me look silly but I’m past the point of caring now. Everyone loves him (if they don’t, they’re simply not relevant for this conversation and they can die jealous of him) because he has this bright personality that makes u smile unintentionally. He gives everyone those heart eyes and smiles with that sweet soft look on his face whether he is talking to someone on his team or other drivers or in interviews or with fans. He adores his fans almost as much as we adore him, he will spend hours signing stuff just to make everyone happy, he will give out all the caps he brought with him to a race weekend just to give it to someone he meets, he will stop to take pictures although he is all sweaty and tired and hungry and what not. And he is the best brother to Arthur and Lorenzo and you can SEE how strong that bond is and it never changed with the fame, they are still the little boys who adore each other who won’t stop protecting each other although they are more grown up now.

He is so beautiful, like so beautiful he transcends sexuality. I haven’t liked LIKED a man in years and here we are. His hair is so soft and while other drivers ruin it with a new haircut or a ton of hair gel, it never happens with charles because somehow he still pulls it off (and when he takes of his balaclava and his hair is so sweaty and all over the place, some part of me always dies inside he’s just too pretty). His eyes are the shiniest little stars and they bear so many emotions in them they can make u cry or laugh or fall in love in seconds, he’s like a siren. His cheeks are asking to be held in your palms so you can feel it when he blushes underneath and when his dimples appear so u could poke them and make him giggle. His lips are so perfectly heart-shaped it makes u question if he is real or just a figment of your imagination. They look so soft and always so pink and he never stops licking them in interviews and it drives me absolutely crazy, i need to bite my fist just thinking about it. I will skip talking about the rest becasue again, I’m gay and I could genuinely write sonnets about the shape of his tiddies and about the purpose his thighs were shaped just like THAT. Let me just tell you they are perfect exactly the way they are they serve the purpose exactly how god intended. You can shit on his fashion sense all u want but i’m kinda digging it. He just pulls it off although I wouldn’t wear half the stuff in his closet (closet lol, no more gay jokes i know, i will shut up). You know how the clothes would look even better? on the bedroom floor. And his voice and his accent aww I could cry sometimes when he talks and i also wanna make a tape to listen to to fall asleep instead of a lullaby. He is so smart it only makes sense he can switch between like 6 languages. Idk what is bigger his brain his heart or his [redacted] (unrelated but one day we need to speak about his hands and fingers and rings and how he grips the wheel and how he stroked that trophy and how he plays piano gently and about the veins good lord take mercy on me)

Last but not least of course, he is such a talented driver. It was literally meant to be, he couldn’t be anywhere but in Ferrari. The fate threw everything at him and yet here we are, look at him thriving, look at him serving cunt, look at him being faster than anyone else on the track, look at him thinking about the race like a game of chess, knowing where to overtake anyone what is each driver’s weakness, where he gains and losts the most. He worked so hard on himself both mentally and physically and now they provided him with a car to shine and i can’t believe some people are only catching up now like sorry u uncultured swine why don’t u rewatch the whole 2017 f2 season and maybe u realize why he is called il predestinato. He can smash alfa 37902 B on his wheel while drivin 250 kmph, he can wave to the fans while speeding around the track, he has DEVILISH starts and can overtake from outside and from inside, he can pull out a perfect 360° and continue his lap unbothered and he can fucking pull xavi’s leg on the radio in the last lap of a race that ended prematurely for many drivers due to reliability issues. i am asking IS THERE ANYTHING THIS MAN CAN’T DO?

Send ☕ + [topic] for spicy opinions

[infinitefandomimagines]

I Can’t Lose You - Poe Dameron x Reader

-

WARNINGS: RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS, MENTIONS OF DEATH, MENTIONS OF TORTURE, ANGST, BLOOD, YELLING

REQUEST: @lookinsidemyhead could I maybe ask for a Star Wars imagine? Like a poexfem!reader Maybe like instead of chewie being captured it was the reader and when they rescue her she’s a little out it from the torture in the interrogation room. angst with happy ending bc they escape

+

A poe dameron tros x reader where reader gets captured with chewy and poe rescues her, lots of angsty poe after losing reader because he thinks she's dead, then fluff when they reunite

-

The only thing that could pull the team's stunned gazes from the fiery explosion of the First Order ship was Poe's horrifying scream. The way your name ripped through his throat made Finn's heart stop and his blood run cold.

Poe took no caution in his efforts to make his way down from the rocky structure their getaway ship stood perched on, slipping and nearly falling more than once.

His heels kicked up sand as he sprinted towards the wrecked ship and Rey, who still stood frozen as the realization of what she'd just done dawned on her. Finn had to stop Poe from running straight to her, he'd never hurt Rey, but after what just happened he definitely wasn't thinking straight.

Finn wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him back and restricting his movement as he struggled to get free.

"What did you do?" Poe yelled at Rey, the high pitched crack in his voice was enough to send daggers through anyone listening's heart. Poe never stopped struggling to break free from Finn's grasp, and it was getting to the point where he just might succeed.

"Chewie I need some help down here!" Finn called up to the Wookie. There was no way he could get Poe to the ship himself, not when he was like this.

"Poe we need to go!" Finn yelled as he tried to pull Poe towards the ship, knowing if they stayed any longer your life wouldn't be the only fatality.

"No! No, I can't leave her!"

"She's gone, Poe. There's nothing we can-"

Finn stopped short as Poe finally broke free from his grasp. However, he didn't get very far, Chewie had made it down just in time to grab him.

"Chewie!" Finn yelled out, "Get him to the ship we need to get out of here! Rey come on!" Poe tried to fight his way out again, but the Wookie was too strong, forcibly pulling him back to the ship. He didn't stop fighting until Chewie released him once the ship had taken off with everyone safely inside.

There was a heavy tension in the air, nobody knew what to say. It's like they were just waiting for Poe to lash out like he usually did when he was upset, but he didn't. The burst of yelling and cursing the team was anxiously waiting for never came. Instead, he simply collapsed onto a storage box and with his head in his hands, he sobbed.

Finn watched his best friend, one who usually stood so strong and fiery, completely fall apart. Rey's heart ached in a way she didn't know it could, the thought that she'd caused this haunting her mind.

BB-8 slowly rolled over to Poe, letting out a series of confused beeps. "She's gone, buddy," Poe said in a broken voice. The small droid let out a high pitched whine mixed with sad beeps.

"This can't be for nothing," Finn finally spoke up, his voice soft as he struggled to speak through his own tears. "We can't let her die for nothing."

"She had the dagger with her, and without that. . ." Rey's voice was grim.

"So true, the inscription lives only in my memory now," C-3PO spoke up. All heads turned towards the droid. "Hang on, the inscription from the dagger is in your memory?" Finn asked.

"Yes master Finn, but the translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved, that is short of a complete redactive memory bypass. It is an extremely dangerous procedure usually performed by criminals."

"Alright, how do we do that?" Finn asked as if there was no question as to what the next step was.

"I know a black market droidsmith," Poe finally spoke up, his eyes glazed over and red. "He's on Kijimi." Poe didn't like the idea of going to Kijimi, but he didn't like the idea of you dying for nothing more.

"For Y/N," Finn said, giving Poe's shoulder a squeeze. "Yeah, for Y/N," Poe repeated, the sound of your name leaving a sad and bitter taste in his mouth.

-

Kijimi went just about how Poe thought it would. They had a rocky start, but in the end, they were able to retrieve the inscription from C-3PO's memory.

The droid's eyes glowed an ominous red as it recited the location to the Wayfinder.

"The Endor system? Where the last war ended?" Finn asked. No one had the opportunity to answer him as the entire building started shaking. Everyone shared concerned looks, but it was Rey who was the first to run outside to see what was causing the commotion.

"Ren's destroyer," she announced, looking up at the large, menacing ship. "He's here?" Finn asked, looking up at her. But Rey didn't answer, it seemed as though her entire body had gone stiff. "Y/N. . ." She spoke softly, but loud enough for Finn and Poe to hear.

"What about her?" Poe asked bitterly, your name sending a dagger through his heart.

"She's alive, she's on that ship," Rey turned around to face her friends.

"What?" Poe whispered, his voice cracking slightly. Tears stung the back of his eyes, but this time the tears weren't ones of sorrow. He felt a small glimmer of hope bubble up inside of him. He no longer slouched, his back straightening up and shoulders rolling back, Rey's words bringing a new light to his eyes.

"How is that possible?" Finn questioned.

"She must have been on a different transport," Rey spoke, her words still laced with disbelief.

"We have to go get her," Poe said eagerly, grabbing his things and looking around at the group. Everyone nodded in agreement, all except C-3PO, who sat confused, his only thought being to introduce himself.

"Yeah, that's gonna be a problem," Poe muttered, a little annoyed at their situation, but not even C-3PO's lost memory could damage his spirits. His head already fantasizing about seeing you again, creating multiple scenarios in his head.

Once everyone was ready, they rushed from Zorii's hideout, the girl following them just to be sure they made it to their ship.

"Thank you," Poe rushed out to Zorii once they'd reached their ship. He didn't plan on waiting for a response, but a grip on his forearm stopped him dead in his tracks. "Poe-" Zorii spoke up, only to be cut short.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, but you can come with us," He offered. Though his feelings for his past relationship were gone, he still cared about Zorii as a friend and leaving her behind just felt wrong. But Zorii shook her head, "I can't," she answered sadly, "But take this, it'll grant you passage to Ren's ship."

Poe stared at the shiny medallion, "I can't, it's yours-"

"Anyone two eyes and half a brain can see how much you care about this girl, it's worth more to you than it is to me."

Poe paused before lifting his hands and gently taking the medallion from Zorii, "Thank you," he breathed out, wrapping Zorii in a tight embrace. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Zorii chuckled a bit as she returned the hug before lightly pushing Poe towards his ship, "Now go, save your girl and win the war."

Poe nodded, mumbling one more 'thank you' before boarding the ship with the others.

-

Getting inside Ren's destroyer had been easier than anticipated, especially with the held of the medallion. However, searching the maze of a ship deemed a difficult task. It seemed as though with each hall they turned down there were more and more stormtroopers.

The next corner they turned no one had their blasters at the ready. Rey quickly jumped in front of Finn and Poe, waving her hand in front of the stormtroopers, "It is okay that we are here," she rushed out.

"It is okay that you're here," one of the troopers repeated.

"You're relieved that we're here."

"Oh thank God you're here," The trooper's shoulders relaxed and he lowered his blaster to his side, as did the other.

"Does she do that to us?" Poe asked, a little confused as to what exactly just happened. Rey just ignored him, instead, she asked the troopers for where you were being held, which they gladly provided.

It was a mad dash to the room you were in, the name of the room being "Interrogation room #6" worrying him.

At some point, Rey ran off on her own, but when Finn tried to follow her Poe gripped his arm, "We need to find Y/N, Rey can handle herself." Chewie howled in agreement with Poe, and Finn knew better than to argue with his friends.

It didn't take long to reach the room you were being held in and even less to shoot the lock on the door and bust in. Poe winced as he entered the familiar room, the dark lighting and metal chair-like structure sending painful memories of his time spent being tortured by Kylo Ren. He didn't even want to imagine what you must have been through, though sadly he could.

Poe quickly shook all thoughts that plagued his mind, you were the only thing that mattered right now. Nothing else. He approached the chair slowly, scared that what he finds might not be what he hoped for.

His heart sank when he saw your unconscious form strapped down to the chair by restraints. A bruise had already formed on the left side of your face, just over your cheekbone. There was a bloody cut that stretched across your right temple which was beginning to form its own bruise, and a trail of blood trickled down and dripped onto your shirt from your nose. Your chest moved up and down slowly as you took in shallow breaths. Poe didn't even want to imagine what the parts of you he couldn't see looked like.

Poe gently placed his shaking hands on either side of your cheeks, cupping your face. The pad of his thumb lightly brushed over you bruise, examining it. "Y/N," he spoke softly, "Y/N, baby please wake up."

Your entire body suddenly tensed up as your struggled against your restraints, prompting Poe to quickly pull his hands away from you, terrified he hurt you.

"No, please. . ." You mumbled, not fully awake, your eyes screwed shut. "Please. . . Don't."

"We need to get her out of these restraints," Poe instructed, trying his best to hide the panic in his voice. Chewie let out a wail, pressing a red button on the wall adjacent to the chair. There was a hissing sound followed by a click as your restraints popped open.

You blinked your eyes a bit at the noise and sudden release of pressure on your wrists and ankles. A familiar face came into view as you blinked away the hazy glaze from your eyes.

"Poe?" You whispered, not quite sure if Kylo Ren was playing tricks on your mind again or not.

"It's me, baby, you're okay." He said, helping you out of the metal chair and pulling you into his arms. One arm wrapped around your waist as the other held the back of your head, your cheeks resting against his chest. You winced as he accidentally pressed against your bruised ribcage, but in all honesty, you didn't care. You were just relieved to be back in his arms, and Poe was more than happy to have you there.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled into your hair, "I shouldn't have let you go out there alone."

"It's not your fault, you couldn't have known."

"Guys I really hate to break up the moment, but we gotta go!" Finn rushed out, earning a bellow of agreement from Chewie.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay," Poe said, pulling away from the embrace. "Can you walk?"

You nodded, however as soon as you took the first step forward your head started spinning and your vision blurred. You quickly reached out and gripped Poe's arm to stop yourself from losing balance. Poe instinctively caught you, holding up the majority of your weight.

"Chewie!" Poe called out, gesturing to you. The Wookie swiftly placed your arm around his waist, and wrapped a furry arm around your back and under your arm, holding you up.

Poe and Finn walked ahead of you, blasters at the ready, inspecting each hallway for hostiles. You limped behind them, Chewie helping you walk by holding you upright.

And after Poe being shot, all four of you nearly being executed, only to be saved by an unlikely ally, you made it to the Millennium Falcon.

Chewie gently set you down on the small cot in Poe's quarters while Finn rushed to the cockpit, trying his best to remember everything Poe had taught him about flying. Chewie soon joined him, helping him get the Falcon in the air so they could go find Rey.

Poe stayed with you in his quarters, sorting through a med pack to find supplies to bandage and clean your wounds. A soft groan escaped your throat as the ship took a sharp turn, harshly shaking the cot you were laying on, sending a wave of pain through your body.

Poe wet a cloth and started dabbing at the dried blood on your temple. You let out a hiss as the sudden contact stung. Poe slipped his free hand into yours, attempting to provide any form of comfort he could.

"What did they do to you?" Poe asked as he moved to clean the blood from under your nose. The question wasn't directed towards you, more of Poe just thinking out loud. However, his question still sent a chill up your spine as you began to replay the horrible things Kylo Ren and his minions did to get information out of you. You were able to refrain from giving them anything up until Kylo Ren used the force to crawl around in your mind. The pain was indescribable.

"Hey, it's okay," Poe comforted, stopping what he was doing. He'd noticed the grimace on your face and how you tensed up when he brought up his question. "You're safe, he can't hurt you."

You nodded weakly, waiting for the horrible thoughts to pass as Poe got back to work.

Poe worked quickly to clean and bandage your wounds, finishing up a matter of minutes. While he packed up the medical kit, you attempted to sit up, but the action proved to be a bit more painful than you anticipated. You inhaled sharply as a sharp pain exploded from your side, your hand instinctively flew to your bruised ribcage, holding it as if that would help the pain subside.

"Here, let me help," Poe said softly when he noticed your struggle. He placed a hand on your back and the other lightly grabbed your arm as he pulled you to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Your hand still clutched your side as you squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the pain to dissipate.

The bed sank beside you as Poe took a seat beside you, his hand rubbing comforting circle in your back. You leaned into him, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

"Do you want something for the pain," he asked, there was a bit of tension in his voice as he tried to hold back tears, he hated seeing you in so much pain. "No, it'll pass. I'm fine." And eventually, it did, leaving you relieved and a bit more cautious about how you moved.

You lifted your head from Poe's shoulder, your eyes meeting his. A soft smile graced his lips and his hand moved from your back to your neck, his thumb resting on your jaw. "I thought I'd lost you," he said in a shaky voice, tears threatening to spill. "And it made me realize you're the one thing I can't live without."

You wrapped your fingers around Poe's arm, just below his wrist, rubbing small circles in the back of his hand with the pad of your thumb.

"I can't lose you," his voice cracked as his eyes glazed over with tears.

"You won't, I promise," you confirmed.

Poe pulled you into him, gently pressing his lips to yours. His hand slid down from your neck to your waist, his other hand finding it's way to your hip. He pulled you into his lap, breaking the kiss to fully envelop you in a hug, careful not to touch your bruised side. One arm kept hold of your waist while the other crossed your back, his hand placed on your shoulder. Poe rested his head in the crook of your neck, holding you close.

You rested a hand on his back while the other held the back of his head. You lightly ran your fingers through his messy curls.

You let out a sigh of content, finally feeling at ease being in Poe's arms. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

TAG LIST

@gracielou0518 @booklove103

[swynlake-spill]

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go 

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR 

@rikuxnakayama sir  i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST 

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT 

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js 

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy 

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it 

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile 

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go  🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words... 

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :) 

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed 

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously! 

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!! 

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying. 

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free. 

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park! 

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!! 

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously! 

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it! 

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know. 

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!! 

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell. 

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please) 

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram! 

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

[vxmorpheus]

Dr. [REDACTED] has foolishly continued his project. Stop. Him. Or. Else.

That is all.

Signed,

[DATA EXPUNGED]

.

.

.

.

OOC: I hope things get better for you, I really wish I could help but I am a simple poor man still living with his dad. If you need me to pause with this roleplay stuff - since it deals with sensitive topics and can be stressful - just DM me and I'll wait. Please take care of yourself best you can, I'm proud of you for making it so far! ~°θ{ Murdoc

Dr. Williams has every right to continue his project. I know what you want to say "no he doesn't, I created him. He is not human." blah blah blah. You spout the regular bullshit as anyone else with your point of view.

Do you find the world so bleak that something created cannot live? Are you so inside your own mirror to only see yourself and not others? You are, in a way, Dr. Williams father... if you made him, personality and such. Did your father treat you with like you treat Dr. Williams?

Perhaps I hit a sensitive note. "You don't/didn't know my father", "don't talk about him, you have no right to", "my father was a good man", etc etc... moving on

Do you not value what you have created? Look at him. Look at Jacob. He was given a body he did not choose. He was given programing he did not choose. He was forced to do terrible things. He began to feel... and he didn't choose that either. We blind ourselves with the thought we are making our own choices... but are we really? You chose to make him and he didn't ask for it, he didn't ask for anything that has been done to him.

Ah why am I bothering to appeal to a small shred of humanity that I may just be imagining.

While I do find it... strange... with what he has done... I am happy that he seems happy. This a small bit of good that has happened so far... and he chose to make him. To bring him back.

In all honesty... if I had died in such a manner, unprepared, agonizing, being eaten by your own body from the inside, no chance to say anything to anyone like besides scream in pain... never getting to say good bye. Never being able to see anyone you love in your last moments. I... I would want Morpheus to bring me back. Even if it's for a moment, just long enough to...

God, I'm getting emotional.

Is that a threat? How am I to stop him when he can simply choose to ignore my request? Why would I even want to stop him? Is this not an interesting thing to see how it plays out? To see how much someone's personhood could be brought back? To see if the great minds of this world could store memories in recordings and videos and on their death... someone would make them anew.

I wonder... how many memories he can get back? How would he feel? How would anyone, if brought back, feel? To be told that you died? How would anyone handle such a thing?

Nevertheless, I am afraid I can't help you at all. You've given me no reason to trust you or even see you as a feeling human being. So, yeah... I guess I am foolish.

~~~ Dr. V

It's ok, if I wasn't ready for roleplaying, I wouldn't have made the Sam post. Thank you very much for all your kind words (/gen). I am trudging through the mud, but I know at some point I'll find a place to rest and enjoy life. Also, thanks for thinking about helping me. It means a lot. You're not obligated to do so, even if you were able to. But... bring on the story and writing, I am here for it.

[tyraunt]

RULES:  List five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same. (Tropes Wiki) 

Tragic Villain / From Nobody to Nightmare - It is known that Kaleb never really wanted the position he is in right now: that circumstances forced him to turn into what he is today. If raised normally (Under Normal Circumstances [tm]), he would just be. A normal man who was incredibly sheltered his whole life with a deep interest in Music and Arts.

But we all know it is not what happened! So you all have to deal with battle-hungry evil tyrant.    Royals Who Actually Do Something / Warrior Prince - Considering the Blackwoods were originally assigned with the protection/military forces of the kingdom before they also assumed the crown upon the disappearance of the last member of the royal family, it is not difficult to assume they continue to rule in those matters also. He was trained not to sit idly, but to command and to defend himself. To bring victory and honor, no matter what it takes.   Forgot I Could Change The Rules - Related to the first point actually! “You are the king why can’t you change things” “Because this is how things always have been” “You can change it right” “No I cannot”. Why not? A pleasant surprise :) Even Evil Has Loved Ones - His mother! And [redacted]. The reason why he simply does not change the system is related to how he was manipulated, and that he simply cannot execute the people who blatantly go against it. After all, that would also be... killing someone he is so desperate to impress.  Cain and Abel/Hates Their Parent - Him and Svein are basically this! Not that Svein cares much about Kaleb at all, but if you mention his brother near him it might be the last thing you will ever do. Talking about his father is also off limits, but I made a post about how he just ends up becoming What He Hates and what he hates is the very image of his Father. He unwillingly has followed Jörn’s every footstep, and it is not something he can ever change. Or will admit. 

Considering he starts to physically resembling his father and how he avoids mirrors once he does so, you can only imagine the can of worms that exists regarding this subject.

Tagged by: @exrhlab  (Thank you! So much!) Tagging: @kesil (do it for Svein and Alistair. Yes I Do Make The Rules), @frostweaved, @luxaether, @eternalwhite, @duskyverdict (either Okishur or My Tall Boy Arlas), @synnthos, @aaternum also you who is reading this post. yes you

[tazsuggestion]

i havent listened to graduation heres my best guess at the pcs:

clints character: i know fitzroy is the little barbarian and no-name is the firbolg and therefore argo keene is this guy but i just cannot connect the name to the man. its simply not correct. otherwise ive been imagining him as a significantly less awful adult er*dan (i did not read homestuck), and he reminds me of a character whos not that but i cant think who. he haunts me. genasi.. rogue? maybe?

fitzroy: he needs to be buff because hes a barbarian but i can also only imagine him as a manlet. for some reason he reads harder as a halfling than a half.. elf.. which im 98% sure he is. i sincerely cant imagine this dude has a sad backstory unless maybe its some caleb widogast style shit, in which case God Help You All

the firbolg/buddy/no name/[REDACTED]: im a lesbian but this guy is my boyfriend i think. i thought he was they/them nb for like a whole day after grad ep 1 came out and im a little sad it turned out otherwise. i think he is a druid. he has a little pegasus friend and he sounds like an elder demon and he cant do math. i reiterate: My Boyfriend. thanks juice

honorable mention: rainer is the only npc whose name i remember and im madly in love with her

[arokaladin]

right so after seeing me moan the other day that I’d never get to tell Brandon Sanderson how grateful I am for Kaladin coming across as so aro to me, @lupitup messaged me saying they’d be able to get a message to him through someone they knew and so I wrote over 1500 words, 

anyway if you’d like to read it too, here it is!

oathbringer spoilers under the cut

Dear Mr Sanderson,

This letter, if you can call it that, is not intended to be unsolicited advice about your characters, nor even really a suggestion. I trust your plans for your own writing immensely and even if I didn’t I respect your right to your own decisions. Merely, I want to explain why from the point of view of an aromantic, the way you have so far chosen to write Kaladin Stormblessed is so incredibly important.

As someone who has expressed interest in writing an asexual character, I’m sure you are aware how little media representation asexuals are given, and how that amount decreases even further still for aromantics. (In fact, there are only two characters to my knowledge who have even been referred to as ‘aromantic’ by their creators, and neither have had the word used about them within the universe they existed in.)

Beyond our lack of ‘official’ characters to see ourselves in, aromantics often have a very difficult time finding any characters at all who we can relate to, since everyone is eventually, Harry Potter epilogue style, arbitrarily paired off so that the audience can be reassured they found their inevitable happy ending in the form of romantic love. Since otherwise, to the eyes of the world, they would have had no worth, love from friends and family not filling the aching gap they would surely have felt if not for the arrival of their perfect ‘other half’.

Even characters whom my community can initially relate to inevitably go on to alienate us. The loveless protagonists of each and every children’s novel that I enjoyed in the days before I knew what I was were all given a hint of a love interest in the last book of the series, just as reassurance that they were growing up. But I never grew up in that sense, and remained simultaneously more and less mature than my peers, never having seen that coming of age and yet achingly above it all. I imagine I seem, just as Kaladin seems to me, to be too old for my age and yet at the same time too unknowing, too naïve.

So even in the time after Words of Radiance and before Oathbringer, I was forever indebted to you for giving me Kaladin. Little details made my heart cry out in a kinship for him that I’d never been able to feel before; That it didn’t cross his mind that his men might start to get married, that he felt anxious at the idea of not knowing where his friends were, that compared to other characters of a similar age who were at the forefront of the books, he seemed painfully oblivious to the world of romance.

And then came Oathbringer, the book the world needed in 2017, that was hopeful in the face of the apocalypse and in my eyes, with its themes of belonging and self-acceptance and the healing power of unconditional love, inherently queer. This book cemented for me that Kaladin not only could be read as on the aromantic spectrum, if the reader so wished, but naturally lent himself to a reading of that manner. And I cannot express how ecstatic it made me not just to see my own traits reflected in him but to see them respected.

Never before had I been able to read about a character who reflected my own feelings without those feelings portrayed as something to grow out of. Never before had I been able to read about a character who planned their life around their friends in the way that we all do as children, and that aromantics continue to do our whole lives, never having the treasured way we regard platonic love usurped by the eventual first feelings of romantic love. It never even crossed my mind that a character could be allowed to feel that way and not be harassed into feeling differently. Never before had I read about a character who couldn’t stomach seeing people kiss without that character being, well, an actual child. Never before had I read about a character who dreaded their friends pairing up and leaving them (as it seems to me the line ‘he liked them both… just not together’ seems to imply) without it being revealed that the character in question was secretly jealous and wanted a romantic relationship for themselves.

Never before have I read about a character who shared my innermost feelings and not seen those feelings laughed at and ripped away.

For me the importance of Kaladin as a character this stands out possibly the most in one of Oathbringer’s final scenes, in which Kaladin reflects on his feelings for Shallan. First of all, I was overjoyed that Kal was allowed to defend himself against the person, or in this case spren, insisting that he had romantic feelings. In any other book he would have ended up either with Shallan or as part of a drawn-out love triangle, and any claims that he didn’t have feelings for her would have been disrespected, taken as lies to be inevitably disproven. In Oathbringer however, despite Syl acting as amatonormativity (the harmful assumption that romantic relationships are central to every person’s life and that everyone’s goal is to have one.) personified, a role normally portrayed as the voice of reason, it is she who is proved wrong and Kaladin is allowed the dignity of explaining his own feelings as soon as he begins to understand them.

Secondly… that ‘something’ Kaladin says he does feel for Shallan? Within the aromantic community we’d likely call that a ‘squish’: essentially the platonic parallel to the traditional crush and characterised by strong non-romantic feelings for a person that you desperately hope will become a friend. The majority of aromantics you speak to will have at some point mistaken a squish for a crush before they had the language to more accurately describe themselves and their attraction. I myself had the same experience with a boy a few years ago as Kaladin does with Shallan, even down to believing I had romantic feelings based on how nice and friendly I thought his smile was.

I could probably talk for much longer on the subtle facets of Kaladin’s characterisation that allow me to see myself for the first time reflected back. About how his interest in Tarah’s clothes almost more than her face amuses me so much because I’m reminded of the countless times when I mistook aesthetic appreciation of garments for physical attraction towards their wearers. About how him having to be told by Rock about Peet’s flirtation with a barmaid hits home because I’m oblivious to my friends’ romantic endeavours until they tell me explicitly that they are in fact romantic endeavours. About how validated I felt that Kaladin internally refers to public displays of affection as ‘nauseating’, a phrase that’s sometimes only half as blunt and offensive as the ones I’d use to describe my physical state when I have to witness upsettingly romantic acts.

I could talk too, about how your portrayal of romantic love, especially in more recent books, manages not to alienate me from your works by never assuming that the emotion is a one off destined thing, better than any other, or even inherently meaningful and therefore always fated to end in a relationship. How red flags (like Kabsal’s strange willingness to leave his life behind for a girl he had just met) are treated as dangerous rather than romantic. How characters like Dalinar and Navani are allowed to find their ‘one true love’ for a second time. How Shallan and Adolin are allowed to be friends, have silly fun, and cheer each other on in a way so refreshingly free from clichés that I felt able to root for their relationship.

But I’ll simply repeat: Thank you for Kaladin. Thank you for a character that as a young adult, struggling with depression much like him, I found myself able to relate to in another way, one that is even more rare and more precious to me because of that. Thank you for, even if inadvertently, making space for people like me in your fiction and allowing me the privilege of my method of escapism legitimising my experiences rather than jolting me back into my real world alienation and loneliness. Thank you for giving me a hero who shares some of the traits I hate the most about myself. Thank you for the books that have become central and significant and cherished in my life over the last two (almost three!) years. Thank you for Kaladin Stormblessed.

I hope the conclusions I’ve made here have in no way offended you or infringed on the way in which you view your own characters. I only mean to express how they seem to me and why that means so much. Thank you for reading this.

(I’d also like to apologise for the length of this letter. To explain that a little: I think about most of the things I’ve said here almost every day of my life and for the longest time have had no way to express my gratitude to you. Also, I tend to get carried away when I write. I’m sure you can relate to that.)

Yours sincerely,

[REDACTED]

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[projectnero]

PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE: THE SHEPHERD

Ah, Mr. Amos. The Starwatcher. The Shepherd. The Survivor. There are many names that my massive friend has taken over the years, but the only one he seems to consciously retain is “Amos”. Any attempts at a first or even middle name have been met with failure, and it has been confirmed that Canadian Mountain Giants do not even adhere to a typical giant nomenclature or tribal structure; that is to say, Amos is not his clan’s name, and Mr. Amos’s refusal or inability to divulge any more information than he has already given us makes finding records of him or his tribe next to impossible, unless one of you schleps feels like hiking through the Canadian wilderness. I’ll leave the moose fighting to the RCMP, thank you very much.

I am told by Mr. Amos that remark could be construed as offensive and inaccurate to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Yet, if they do not FIGHT the moose, how do they mount it?

I am being told now that they do not ride moose.

My apologies. It seems that even they have enough sense not to pick a fight with those massive death machines.

One of these days I must have a word with Epimetheus.

Regardless of the hellish landscape my massive friend is from, he IS a dear friend of mine, and the only one amongst our company who surpasses me in age. His wisdom shows, though his age does not. He is pleasant company, if a bit quiet and reserved at times. I sometimes worry he only interacts with me out of fear of angering my patron god Apollo again -- we shall get to that part soon.

Anyhow, I suppose we should get this underway. Once again the lovely Doctor [REDACTED] has deemed herself fit to evaluate Mr. Amos’s mental state. Even though nobody asked, I’m starting to think that these psychological evaluations are just excuses to try and assign labels to that which is inherently unique. Classifying that which cannot be classified. Which of you scientists has lived for over 2000 years? Nobody? That’s what I thought.

NAME: Amos

ALIASES: Mr. Amos, Goliath, The Shepherd, The Slaughterer, The Survivor

AGE: Approximately 4,500 years old, by his own estimation

HEIGHT: 20 Meters (non-suppressed), 3 Meters (suppressed)

Note: Mr. Amos requested we use the metric system because, and I quote, “America needs to get with the times” and “Citizens of other countries might read this”. Mr. Amos is wrong on both accounts, but nonetheless I have accommodated his ridiculous request, if only because I remember what it was like to not be beholden to America’s rules. For any of you Americans scrolling through this (I’m assuming that would be all of you), his respective heights are 65 feet when not wearing his suppression amulet and 9 feet when wearing the suppression amulet. Approximately. I promise you I tried every method under the sun to get the man under 9 feet but it is impossible.

WEIGHT: 9071 Kilograms/20,000 pounds (non-suppressed), 1,360 Kilograms/3,000 pounds (suppressed)

Again, I tried every method under the sun to make this giant hunk of muscle be able to walk around without leaving craters everywhere, and 3,000 pounds seems to be the best I can get. Gods watch over you if you get in-between this man and his protein.

SPECIES: Giant/Goliath (SUBSPECIES: Canadian Mountain Giant)

NOTABLE ABILITIES:

Gods above, what CAN’T he do?

Apologies, but one cannot help but be in awe of the giant known as Amos.

For starters, with the assistance of an amulet I made specifically for him (you know, because I’m a savant), Mr. Amos can solve the problem of not being small enough for human interaction by shrinking considerably, reducing his overall mass. Your human law of conservation says this is impossible, but Apollo and Thoth spit in the face of your Einstein.

Even while in his shrunken form, Mr. Amos is proportionately strong for a man of his size. Further testing over the years has shown Mr. Amos actually retains his strength of his non-suppressed form at 100% efficiency, and his strength is actually so great that we as weaklings are incapable of differentiating between his different levels.

On a side note, have I mentioned how beautiful this man is?

No, really. This is INCREDIBLY important. When you think of a giant, a certain image comes to mind, right? Some gnarled, ugly, unwashed heap of muscles and meat who doesn’t even know what a loincloth is.

Unfortunately for my poor little heart, Mr. Amos’s species seems to have properties similar to only one other known creature: the fucking succubus. Which is just fantastic, because one of my comrades is a succubus.

This means that Mr. Amos, as well as Mr. di Carina, constantly make subtle changes to their appearance with every passing second to appear more and more beautiful, and constantly release pheromones designed to make sentient creatures of ANY gender attracted to them. This means that, somehow, if Mr. di Carina is ever rendered out of action, the fucking GIANT is our next option for seducing someone. Terrific.

A notable distinction is that succubi surpass expectations of gender; for instance, Mr. di Carina is constantly adjusting to standards of beauty, appearing male to some, and female to others, and retaining an all around feminine appearance in spite of it all. However in all known instances, Mr. Amos has only ever appeared to fit the observers ideal of an attractive male.

I feel guilty for objectifying Mr. Amos, despite how many times he has assured me it is perfectly fine. Gods grant me the strength to continue.

Mr. Amos is capable of traversing massive bodies of water and land in little to no time. The strain on his body appears to be nonexistent, though with his appetite it would be unable to tell if his body is expending more energy than is the norm.

As befitting a giant, Mr. Amos has a ridiculously high pain threshold. Many have compared the man to the fictional character “The Juggernaut”, and indeed it would be a comprehensive comparison if not for Mr. Amos’s weaknesses.

NOTABLE WEAKNESSES:

As mentioned before, Mr. Amos has been compared to the fictional Juggernaut of Marvel series fame. However, if the Juggernaut is an unstoppable force like a freight train, then Mr. Amos is more of a... unstoppable Sherman. He has traded Mr. Juggernaut’s weakness to psychic powers and a binding contract to a deity for moving about as fast as a turtle.

I should clarify. Mr. Amos is not slow by any means, but the mere power in his steps and his dense body means that gravity is constantly weighing down on him, and were he to pick up speed, the already massive craters he calls footsteps would eventually dig through to the Earth’s core and he would all die. Mr. Amos moves deliberately and once he reaches his target, they will be decimated. However, this makes hit and run tactics very disadvantageous, and instead makes Mr. Amos a useful front line combatant and siege unit; I wish that we had been able to make use of Mr. Amos’s abilities when fighting in the Somme.

As mentioned before, as the biggest member of Project: Nero, Mr. Amos requires a massive amount of sustenance. I have seen 90 nobles of the most wasteful houses go through less food in a week-long feast than Mr. Amos does. Apparently this insatiable appetite does not disturb the ration officers; I saw one of them reading a book by some Welsh author about giants and such and the ‘why’ became clear.

Due to his inability to be stopped combined with his high maintenance, we are currently only really able to bring Mr. Amos’s giant form out as an ultimate trump card... and because the chaos caused would not be able to hide our existence to the world anymore. The government only authorizes the transformation if they don’t want any survivors or witnesses.

Subsequently, this treatment of Mr. Amos as an emergency-only monster, deemed to chaotic compared to the likes of even Mr. Takahashi have lead to some... harsh treatment of Mr. Amos by the human outliers of the science team. It has not been good for Mr. Amos’s self-esteem and were it not for the fact that I have no real authority and we must meet a human quota, I would order these hateful beasts to be executed painfully and without mercy.

As of recently, Mr. Amos’s age has finally caught up with him, at least mentally, and the anguish of his perfect memory and knowledge of the past has caused him to become closed-off, lowering team morale.

Make no mistake. I may be the de facto leader of this little ragtag group of freaks, but Mr. Amos is the heart.

PSYCHOLOGICAL DIAGNOSES AND PERSONALITY TRAITS:

Mr. Amos has a severe case of survivor’s guilt, as well as imposter syndrome, though his feelings of fraudulence appear to be completely unfounded as the man has been nothing but forthcoming.

As of Mr. Amos’s deployment to Vietnam and his subsequent return home, routine psychological evaluations seemed to indicate development of post-traumatic stress disorder and late-onset dissasociative identity disorder, if there truly is such a thing as late-onset DID. It is more likely that the giant has been battling with this disorder his entire life, and the harsh conditions and psychological trauma suffered while in Vietnam simply made him unable to mask his suffering anymore. I cannot imagine what it must be like to suffer for over 4,000 years in silence. The man has been suffering from survivor’s guilt for over 2,000 years as well, indicating that whatever happened to his tribe, it happened long before Europeans ever made contact with the Americas.

Mr. Amos seems to have an intense fear of death, as if the concept never occurred to him before.

Behind a deeply troubled man lies a heart almost as massive as he is. No, not literally. That would be biologically impossible. As Dr. Fero previously stated, Mr. Amos is certainly the most beloved member of his team... by his fellow squadmates, at least. I have nothing against Mr. Amos, do not get me wrong. However, the also aforementioned treatment of Mr. Amos by my fellow humans does not make me eager to approach him and inevitably cause more pain.

Mr. Amos is a deeply spiritual man, and seems to be in tune with nature. He is all-loving, and this attitude seems to endear him to everyone, especially the mostly prickly Agent Shrub. Yes, that was a pun, and no, I will not tell you why. I suppose you’ll find out once we get to Agent Shrub’s profile.

Even despite his fear of humans, Mr. Amos has made efforts to understand us - something that I cannot say my colleagues have done. Mr. Amos is a skilled baker and farmhand, and his skill levels equal those of one with PhDs in horticulturalism, herbalism, agriculturalism, animal behavior, science, and even culinary arts. I cannot describe the cakes he makes, for they are filled with something that we humans cannot even grasp. When we say something is made with “love”, I’m not sure we even know what “love” is. When I first tasted some of Mr. Amos’s pastries, I cried. Everyone always does. It tastes divine. It reminds me of... well, I shouldn’t get into details of my own life.

Mr. Amos has shown signs of a crippling loneliness and every time I look at him I want to help. I know I cannot, but when I catch glimpses of his eyes I see a man in need of love.

Note: The rest of the lines have been scribbled out, crossed out, drowned in white-out, and are evidently too embarrassing for Doctor [REDACTED] to repeat.

BACKGROUND:

Hello, all. I will try to keep this short.

My name is incomprehensible in the human tongue, and so I go by Amos. I once had a first and middle name, but the shame of losing my tribe has caused me to discard them.

I couldn’t protect them, and I cannot protect the ones I care about. I will not lie to you and pretend that I read Carter or Yvette’s analyses of me. I will instead tell you the plain, hard facts of my life.

I was born to a loving mother named Viktoria, and a just-as-loving father named Isaac. For a while, life was happy. Giants of my type generally live longer than humans can comprehend; death by old age would not happen until thousands of civilizations would rise and fall. I did not have to worry about mortality. Even when I died, I knew the Gods would reincarnate me as something infinitely more beautiful, such as a gust of wind, or a bird, or a flower. Such is life.

Our clan was exempt from most of the horrors that other giants faced; there was no such thing as war for us. There was no shortage of supplies, no shortage of responsibilities or things to do. We were shepherds. Farmers, bakers, herbalists, apothecaries, we were the providers, the caretakers of this world. Epimetheus’s favored tribe, we carried on long after he and Prometheus were punished for their hubris.

Our clan cared for all the sacred, exotic animals of the different pantheons, but chief amongst them were the Greeks. Athena’s owls, Poseidon’s stallions, Dionysus’s leopards... the most important were Apollo’s sacred cattle. For a while we were happy. Good at our jobs.

And perhaps if that peace had lasted, you would not be hearing from me.

When humans first came to the continent, we welcomed them with open arms. They were kind and kept to themselves; they held much of the same views about land as we did. Unfortunately, humans carry so many viral diseases that they even poison each other accidentally. It was no surprise, then, that left and right giants started to come down with what was only called “the pestilence”. With fewer farmers to tend to the vast fields, to take care of the animals, our crops and livestock dwindled. Panic and mass hysteria set in. Some giants left to try to feast on the very humans that had brought this plague -- but that in and of itself is against the nature of giants. Hatred is not in our veins. We do not resent mankind for bringing sickness. It is simply the will of the Gods.

And so those who feasted on human flesh were stripped of their clan names and their rights, marked as monsters.

But the pestilence and famine continued, and finally death came to us. In Christian mythos, there is a fourth horseman, and if you know who he is, then you should be able to predict what came next.

War. Infighting broke out amongst us. I was hardly a child; 2000 years old. My parents, who should have lived for tens of thousands of years more, were cut down in the blink of an eye. So enraged and desperate where we, so powerful was the cursed horseman’s influence, that we made weapons that should not have been able to kill us, and yet did -- through the power of hatred or through ingenuity, I do not know. What I do remember was seeing my former clansmen feasting on the remains of my parents. Once again they had turned to the unthinkable, the horrible, in order to survive this horrible time.

When the war was over, thankfully the winning side were not the cannibals. The cannibals were not only marked as monsters, but it was decided that they should be executed as well. So disgusting and long-lasting were War’s repugnant effects that once we learned how to kill each other, we still used it. They were killed. It was the will of the Gods.

With our quelled numbers, it was theorized that surely we should be able to survive on the food now, yes? No.

Giants still starved. Babies passed due to the pestilence. And we still killed one another.

Eventually my more weak-willed kin gave up hope. Truly there WAS no way of the Gods. They had abandoned us.

And once the Gods abandoned us, why should we keep ourselves from taking what was no longer sacred, but instead sustenance?

I watched in horror and fear as the four horsemen left before my very eyes. With each bloodied hand that dug into a bull or cow, I could feel the gentle warmth of the sun turn to a blistering fire.

Before my very eyes, the four horsemen were replaced by one angry God.

Apollo vaporized my tribe. I was the only one not to eat the cattle. No, I had instead prayed every day to Apollo as I lovingly tended to his remaining cows.

And for this, he spared me.

The rest is all relative.

Learn from my mistakes. Please.

Do not lose faith.