#i should’ve know i was a lesbian when i watched this movie on youtube for free when i was younger

[siryouarebeingmocked]

mitchels vs machines (spoilers)

didn’t like it

I wanted to watch it when it came out, because I heard the name ‘miller and lord’, the guys who did Spider-Verse and other cool stuff. Then I saw the main character had a Pride pin on her shirt, and I was worried it would be woke.

But I gave it a shot anyway.

Take a look at the main character, Katie. What do you think her core character concept is?

>Ironically post-grunge teen hipster?

Good guess, but no. Here’s a hint; she’s about to leave for art school. Combine that with the Pride pin.

>Her design concept is stereotypical college lesbian?

So I assume.

But okay, it’s a cartoon, they deal in broad archetypes. Whatever. You know what also bugs me about the movie? Much more? As a character designer?

The eyes.

Look at them.

The bodies are mostly realistic, with stylized proportions, but the eyes are just tiny dots in an oval of almost-flat white like a psycho Korean webcomic character. All that’s missing is the fisheye overhead lens.

There’s probably ways to make those work in 3D, but the animators used precisely none of them. They’re barely even 3D.

Okay, okay, I’m kidding. Let’s scale it back. To that horrible Squirrel Girl art.

I browse /r/ImaginarySliceOfLife. There’s a lot of pictures there with a realistically drawn setting, a realistic character/s, and then the face is basically standard flat anime cel-shading. MvstM’s art direction reminds me of that.

Let’s get back to Katie. While she’s chatting with her pals on Zoom or whatever, one of them tries to sell her on the school because it has “diversity”. No backspin or depth, the statement just lays there. This is foreshadowing for the reveal that she’s gay/bi at the end, when she reaches the school and the girl we thought was her friend was actually her girlfriend! What a tweest!

Oh, wait, no, I’m not sure why we’re actually supposed to care about that. It’s not some shocking twist. Is it trying to improve gay acceptance by making us like the character and then revealing she was gay? Because it wasn’t exactly subtle. Or well-written. I don’t see how it recontextualized her character in any significant way. It just feels extremely token. 

...California should’ve been a hint.

Writing-wise, what’s the lie the protagonists believe? The Dad thinks tech is bad. The mom keeps using her phone to compare herself to the perfect Joneses, played by John Legend and Chrissy Teigen basically playing themselves. 

The son is obsessed with dinosaurs and also he thinks the Joneses’ daughter is cute and he’s socially awkward. Katie...well, she feels her small town doesn’t appreciate her and her tastes and her ironic, 30ish-writer’s idea of what the kids like these days, (which is apparently Youtube poops) - and want to go to art school.

Oddly enough, I should empathize with her. I went off to art school. I didn’t fit in at home. We both wear glasses. Heck, she’s even part black, and I’m entirely black. I’m from the Caribbean, so I think that makes me, like, 120% black.

But her story still bores me.

Ostensibly, the idea is “she learns to appreciate her family and her new friends by working together to save the world from the Metaphors.” The mom should learn that the other family isn’t perfect and she needs to accept her own family’s flaws and stop comparing herself to the Joneses’ idealized image. Dad learns tech isn’t all bad. Little brother learns how to accept himself and take his shot and of course it turns out the Joneses’ daughter actually likes to hear him talk about dinos.

Did I mention that I’ve also been writing regularly for over a decade now? On top of being a bibliophile?

These are all good arcs, on paper - I’ve written about and struggled with some of them myself - but I just wasn’t feeling it. I think the script needed more time in the oven.

I stopped watching in one scene where the tech-company-AI’s rogue robots are hunting all humans - yes, I know, the metaphor is very nuanced - and the tech-hating dad takes their phones and gleefully stomps them to pieces, a gigantic smile on his face, insisting he’s not enjoying it.

Then he hands the little pieces back to the son, who thanks him. 

And that’s the joke.

It’s not actually funny to me. It’s just awkward and cringy. Maybe that’s because I spend most of my waking hours looking at a screen, but all I could think of was the hundreds of bucks of electronics he was cheerfully destroying.

Maybe it would’ve been funnier on Fairly Oddparents, in 2D. Maybe it would’ve been funnier without the other three family members watching him in shock and horror.

Now that I’m typing this maybe it reminded me - somewhere deep down - of my own abusive mother, who once destroyed a book I was reading in similar fashion.

Maybe that’s my real problem with the movie.

TEAL DEAR: Movie’s not woke, IMO, just mediocre.

[adventseven]

Lightyear Film Review

Andy’s favorite space hero gets the backstory that Pixar has been wanting to tell for years. Was it worth the wait and the seemingly never-ending hype train? Maybe.

The film stars Chris Evans as Buzz Lightyear. Also starring in Lightyear is Uzo Aduba as Commander Hawthorne, Peter Sohn as robot cat Sox, Keke Palmer as Izzy Hawthorne, Taika Waititi as Mo Morrison, Dale Soules as Darby Steele, James Brolin as Zurg, and Efren Ramirez as Airman Diaz.

Before I go into the pros and cons, I have to point out an obviously stupid thing people are doing. If your main criticism of the film is that “there’s a lesbian couple” in the movie, thank you for sharing your shitty opinion. Now the public knows how dumb you are and can react accordingly. A film should never get a bad review because there are black or LGBTQ+ characters.

If I were to sum up this review in one sentence, I would call it, “a fine movie with some outstanding moments.” Allow me to elaborate. This film is imperfect, and there are quite a few things about it that I would change. The pacing of the film is lightning quick, like Cars 2 quick. You don’t really get a chance to catch your breath. Pixar films in the past have always had good pacing. The general rushed feeling made the film harder to digest as I watched it.

The film’s reliance on nostalgia is ever-present. Buzz says all the important lines, he has his cool suit, and he fights his old arch-nemesis. Nostalgia can only keep a film interesting for so long. When a character’s only traits outside of nostalgia are that they are a brave good guy, something needs to be reworked.

The hard science fiction elements of the film fail to make Lightyear more fun or interesting. If anything, they make the film more depressing. There’s a moment in the middle of the film that I would consider Lightyear’s Up moment. It’s a typical Pixar sad scene that affects the main character for the rest of the movie. It’s the only moment in the film that I felt grabbed me emotionally. The problem is I know that a good Pixar movie has many moments like that in their films, and they only make the movie better. The rest of the sad/important/life-lesson moments felt like checkmarks on a checklist.

It felt like Pixar was trying to do Pixar, which blew my mind. Pixar isn’t supposed to be copying itself. It should be improving on itself. I mean this is based on the Toy Story franchise, for goodness sake. It should be Toy Story good. There are also a lot of changes to the already established Buzz Lightyear lore that I, as an old person, still remember vividly.

At the risk of dogging on this movie too much, I want to go into the positives of the movie. I do like that Pixar is moving forward with the times and showcasing LGBTQ+ characters. They’re out there in the real world, so they should definitely be in movies. Let alone in movies that take place in the far future where people are hopefully less stupid and shitty.

The character and world design are all really cool looking. The suits are good, the spaceships look sick, and the laser guns are the definition of Chef's Kiss. The side characters are good too. Buzz would be completely lost throughout the movie if they weren’t there. Sox was pretty wonderful and stole all the scenes he was in. Basically every side character was good except for Mo Morrison. Sorry Taika, I love Thor: Ragnarok and you as a person, but that guy should’ve been sent out the airlock.

Lightyear was like an experiment on how to make cool shapes move. This is a movie where things happen, and they just kinda leave you wanting more. I shouldn’t feel meh after watching a Pixar movie. I’m a little torn because I hate getting sucked into hype trains and being let down. Things should’ve been different.

SCORE: 7/10

By Julian Hayden

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[jemscarter]

The Prom Movie Thoughts

Hi, so I watched The Prom movie last night, and I have a *lot* of Thoughts so here goes. Under a Read More because this is long.

I saw the Broadway production last year, it was phenomenal, the second the curtain closed I wanted them to reset and start again from the top.  The movie was also great and enjoyable: both are good and valid.

-first things first, James Corden, who was not as bad as I was expecting based on the reviews. Was he great? No. Was he the weakest of the four Broadway stars? Yup. The biggest thing I noticed was honestly that when he just played the role he was fine, it was when he really leaned into the “I’m a gay man” aspects of his performance that it became off. I’m not sure though if this is a James Corden problem or a directing/Ryan Murphy problem. Would love to know if Murphy told him to “play up the gay” in ceratin scenes (i.e. pitch his voice higher and use his hands more) 

-Jo Ellen Pellman was great as Emma. Caitlin Kinnunen was also great as Emma. Their Emma’s were very, very, different. I’m not even sure it’s fair to fully compare them, because movie!Emma is very optimistic and smiley and show!Emma is a bit more jaded and prickly. Both are valid. Both are awesome. (If this is something that interests you watch “It’s Not About Me,” the show cast performed it on Seth Meyers and then Netflix posted part of it on YouTube, you can definitely see the difference)      -Also movie!Emma’s style is iconic.

-Kerry Washington did a fantastic job with a very difficult and prickly character. I am also very glad they didn’t whitewash Alyssa and Principal Hawkins.

-honestly a lot of the things that kinda bothered me about the movie were similar to things that bothered me in the show -- Emma & Alyssa don’t get a tone of scenes, don’t kiss until the end; Emma’s songwriter side seemingly comes out of nowhere, etc.     -following on this one of these small things that bothered me in the show was that we don’t get to see Emma’s grandmother and I’m so glad she’s in the movie/they expand on Emma getting kicked out story

-The high school scenes during Just Breathe were strange choices. Why was she swimming? Why have a whole thing with being in a bathing suit in a homophobic school and then not have the other girls kick her out of the locerk room? What’s the point? And then dodgeball? Why does she have two gym classes? Why wasn’t she just going from class to class like a normal person?     -also this would’ve been the perfect opportunity to set up her musical side -- i.e. showing her in band class, or showing her scribbling song lyrics/notes during class

-the Midwestern-ness of having two separate songs at the mall is wonderful.

-The Swallow the Moon flashbacks. It was great to see Hawkins love musical theater, but also (it’s my understanding) that was Dee Dee’s big break, her first big role, and that she was pretty young (hence the whole being an aging Broadway star narrative). Meryl crushed it, but they should’ve aged her (and Principal Hawkins) down more or cast a specific younger actor like they did for Barry’s flashback scenes.

-This seems like classic Ryan Murphy to me, but he should’ve included the original cast stars as cameos. It’s respectful since they worked so hard to originate these roles and you couldn’t even be deigned to cast them in the movie, and it’s a fun nod to fans. There were a lot of opportunities too. Why not have Caitlin and Izzy be one of the lesbian couples at the all inclusive prom? Why not have the original four Broadway stars as guests at the Sardi’s after party? I get it, they’re trying to do their own thing, but it’s the respectful and fun thing to do.

I’m not trying to come too hard for this movie, I honestly adored it, and will definitely rewatch it in years to come. The cast was great, the movie was stunningly gorgeous, and it was a fun, happy ending romp. As someone who tends to over-criticize, pick apart movies/shows/musicals they love for fun, these are just my thoughts on things that struck me while I watched.

[odatodeath]

british youtuber voice: my thoughts on onna nobunaga

ahem,

yeah it’s what you’d expect from an early 2010s movie about “oda nobunaga but what if he was a girl?”

god!! stupid!! 

the thing about it is that it’s an interesting concept, and i wouldn’t have a problem with it if it were done more in the lense of like.. the illusion of gender roles, how hypocritical it is, etc (like if they made more movies/shows about kenshin being a trans/intersex guy or a lady who had to assume that role.)

but that’s not what you or anyone expects when they hear “but what if [name] was a girl all along?” 

I only watched half of the first part, so ~excuse me~ if i got it all wrong or something (even though I’m fairly certain i can predict everything else that was going to happen,) i turned it off as soon as we met azai nagamasa and nobunaga just HAD to be like “wow im suddenly in love with him!” 

Yeah. that’s what people expect when they hear the “what if [name] was a girl?” prompt. They think of how the ‘girl’ will miss being her feminine self, and how she will fall in love. (Ironically, on a forum post talking about the theory behind kenshin’s gender, a guy in the comments took this as a wonderful chance to say: “well now i need a romance novel about this girl kenshin and shingen!”)

and guess what? That’s pretty much all I saw of Onna Nobunaga was. Nobunaga lamented not being able to be a girl (including a fuckin weird shot with blood running down their leg as a kid) for the whole thing up until the halfway point with nagamasa, where it turned into a romance thing. I can’t remember anything of note outside of that. There were some scenes with Nobunaga in armour and heading an army, which gave me hope cus it was like right at the beginning, but it turned out to not amount to a whole lot. (Although I’m sure we’d see more of actual battles in the parts of the show that I didn’t get to. But part of me just knows that the battle with the Azai is gonna end up as some “weh you betrayed my love weeh” star-crossed lovers thing) 

also, I really shouldn’t have expected it, but... my lesbian brain expected some lesbians from Kicho and Nobunaga when there was that whole scene of “Here touch my boob. I’m actually female”, except it turned more into a: “Oh okay, good, I didn’t want to marry you and now I can go chase that other man i was in love with instead.” (Which... is fine I guess... I’m still salty there are no lesbian samurai shows though)

And the last thing that comes to mind is what I brought up in the last paragraph:

Nobunaga just lets everybody know they’re female at the drop of a dime. The whole point of disguising your gender, especially in sengoku japan, is so that you can maintain your power. But Nobunaga immediately told Saito Dosan’s daughter that they were female right off the bat (this marriage was to form an alliance between the Saito and Oda, which means that they definitely WEREN’T good friends before this; and considering Dosan’s reputation as a snake, Nobunaga should’ve known that revealing they were female so early on is ??? um. a BAD MOVE!!) and then proceeded to immediately tell Azai Nagamasa... ykno, after like knowing him and and falling in love with him after the span of 5 seconds, the same exact thing (The Nagamasa are a pretty powerful clan in Omi, AKA right next to where the Shogun and Emperor are, who could take away Nobunaga’s land if they found out the gender thing) 

also, i know mitsuhide and nobunaga fall in love later. what the fuck. whats the POINT?

it just SEEMS like the writers were saying “we’re going to take nobunaga and turn him female so we can write the big names in his life as part of a ~dramatic romance~ with her.”

anyway, that’s my review on the first half-part of onna nobunaga

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

What are your headcannons for the kids from the four main All the Wrong Questions series?

oh geez there are so many 

Lemony Snicket

Listen every character in the Snicketverse is autistic but Lemony? HIGH.KEY. This boy cannot stand sensory overload and also stims with verbal recitation. 

After several months in Stain’d-by-the-Sea, the Associates got used to him just showing up and taking food. He eventually stopped asking, and then eventually stopped using the door. Moxie has, more than once, come downstairs to find him sitting on her counter eating cereal. 

Beatrice snuck into town once to see how he was doing, saw him and Moxie trying to jump off the roof of the diner with a tablecloth parachute and Jake dragging them back and screaming, and she just turned right the fuck around and reported to their friends, “yeah he’s fine.” 

Kit made him promise not to tell Jacques that she was almost in jail. 

MODERN AU: Gets into twitter and tumblr fights with obvious trolls. Tried to call CPS on Theodora just to see what would happen. Can recite any “Unraveled” YouTube video on command. Has an extensive knowledge of Pokemon. 

Moxie Mallahan

listen this girl is a lesbian in denial and she wrote Ellington Feint a note that said “get out of my town” because she didn’t know what else to do

She always kinda knew that her Mother was never coming back for her, but she didn’t admit it aloud until after Lemony left. 

Moxie: I can eat ten marshmallows at once. Kellar: You are a hazard to yourself. Lemony: And a coward. Do twenty 

Moxie knows how to pick every kind of lock, and how to break into every window. She takes her journalism very seriously and will get the truth even if she has to flip the world off as she does it. 

MODERN AU: Blogger. Once spent a week straight putting together a project and then passed out for forty-eight hours. Still carries a typewriter with her everywhere. Had to physically stop Lemony from eating a tide pod. 

Ellington Feint 

Had literally no idea Lemony had a crush on her because she’s just that gay. 

Actually popped up around town inbetween books constantly, mainly to chill with Cleo, Jake, the Bellerophons, and even Ornette. They just all neglected to mention this to Lemony. 

She doesn’t remember anything about her mother. All she knows is what her father told her; that her mother used to make music boxes, loved coffee, and died in a fire. 

Goes through a huge rebel/outlaw phase after escaping with Kit, because she’s completely lost and has no idea what to do or who to trust; her own father never gave a shit about her, as she now knows, so how could anyone care? Eventually she made her way back to Stain’d-by-the-Sea, where Moxie found her crying in the attic of Black Cat Coffee and awkwardly invited her to live in the lighthouse. 

MODERN AU: Has been on the run from CPS for so fucking long. Quotes Gilmore Girls almost daily and will argue your ear off about why Rory/Paris should’ve been endgame. Once ate a tide pod. Cries while watching the Addams Family. 

Kellar Haines 

Even after the Train Incident, he basically lives with Moxie. He just can’t trust his Mom anymore, and while he claims otherwise, they didn’t really have a good relationship before then, either. Lizzie stays with him. 

His special interest is in codemaking. He would’ve been really valuable to VFD if he’d gotten recruited. As is, Moxie kicks the ass of anyone who tries to kidnap him, so he’s fine. 

He’s also super good at crafting, and can make really cool art projects whenever he has the time. Lizzie used to give him art supplies whenever she could, and still hangs his drawings on the lighthouse fridge. 

He just gets so tired of his friends’ shit. He’d be a Mom Friend if he made any effort to stop them but as is he just kinda watches crap go down. 

MODERN AU: Constantly goes to the movie theater just to chill. Addicted to YouTube. Is the only one of the squad not freaked out by the Watership Down movie. Asks existential questions at random to scare the squad and then immediately says “yeet” in a deadpan voice and throws Squeak across the room. 

Pip and Squeak Bellerophon 

They took over the taxi for their Dad when he fell ill. He died a few months later, and they kept claiming he was alive, in fear that they would get separated by whoever was in charge of their case. The only person they told is Jake, because he eventually followed them home to ask their Dad why the fuck he didn’t feed them and found that they were living alone, and Cleo, because Jake can’t keep secrets from her. 

Pip and Squeak used to fight a lot, though they never intended any real harm. They slowly stopped after they started living alone, and Pip started kinda taking charge of keeping him and Squeak safe. 

They used to be very tight with Qwerty, because they were constantly at the library. He suspected their situation, but never confirmed it and was alright just making sure the kids were okay. Squeak would sometimes climb on the bookshelves and knock them over, but thankfully Qwerty thought this was funny. 

Squeak likes to “adopt” stray animals he finds in the backyard. Whenever he walks in going “gUESS WHO OUR NEW SIBLING IS,” Pip has to guess whether he’s going to bring in an injured baby bunny he can nurse back to health, or a squirrrel he just caught who is still struggling and about to destroy half the house. 

MODERN AU: Pip has a Nintendo Switch that Squeak can only play Animal Crossing on. Squeak keeps posting photos on Instagram of him and Pip driving illegally but everyone thinks they’re edits. Squeak once very seriously told Pip that he would have to marry Jake so they could keep getting free food from him (before they found out he was dating Cleo). Have slept in library closets before and will again. 

Cleo Knight 

Identifies as Demi-bi. She and Jake met as preteens, when she wandered off and got lost, and went into the diner to use the phone and call Zada and Zora. Afterwards, she kept sneaking out to visit him. 

Was much closer to Zada and Zora than her parents. She used to hang out in the kitchen with them, laying on the counter and practicing calculations or studying advanced chemistry while they cooked. 

Also very very autistic. Can only eat certain things, because she has huge texture problems. Only Zada, Zora and Jake have ever gone out of their way to accommodate her without complaint. 

Is incredibly reckless and never thinks anything through. While everyone knows she can take care of herself, it’s still nerve-wracking to see her run out the window, leaving only a note saying she’ll be back in three hours after trying to find a chemical, and coming back covered in blood that’s not her own. 

MODERN AU: Was a Guardians of Ga’Hoole kid. Would exist on a diet of cheetos, cereal and sprite if not for her boyfriend. Once, Ornette helped her break out of the house to go to the movie theater to watch Lego Batman. Super into Stranger Things. 

Jake Hix 

Literally is the only reason the Associates are still alive. He gives them food and makes sure they don’t kill themselves doing some stupid reckless stuff. 

Surprisingly, though, Cleo has had to physically stop him from fistfighting S Theodora Markson, who keeps forgetting to feed her fucking apprentice

Jake: As soon as I hit 18 I’m adopting you. Pip and Squeak, not even glancing over: Lit. 

Has been in love with Cleo since they met. Since their relationship is technically “secret”, Hungry pretends not to notice, despite how increasingly obvious it gets. She knows she should technically discourage this, but he’s just. so in love. When he’s not working, he spends his time in him and Cleo’s garden. 

MODERN AU: Has threatened to put parental locks on Lemony and Moxie’s phones multiple times. Keeps quoting The Princess Bride at Cleo, to the annoyance of the other Associates around them. Actually super into Doctor Who. Also keeps beating everyone’s ass in Mario Kart. 

Ornette Lost 

Has never once understood what was going on, but honestly she just rolls with it. “Guess we’re doing this now? Okay.” 

Keeps bringing stray cats into her Uncles’ house and adopting them. She has twelve now. There is no stopping her. 

Super close with Cleo and Jake. Mainly because she doesn’t mind third-wheeling, and will just fold origami when she gets bored, but also because she’s pretty good at dropping life advice and also is shockingly hilarious. 

Lemony: Ornette. Why did the toaster blow up. Ornette: Hm?Lemony: Toaster. Blew up. Ornette: Oh. Yeah I blew it up Lemony: why Ornette:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MODERN AU: Very into anime, especially Fullmetal Alchemist. Lives on ice cream. Has OPINIONS on the Disney Reboots. She got expelled from school because she graffitied GAY RIGHTS on the side of the building, and then a couple of middle fingers. 

Lizzie Haines 

INCREDIBLY protective of Kellar. She had more part in raising him than their mother; she was reluctant to leave him for her apprenticeship, but he convinced her he’d be fine. 

Sharon was a huge perfectionist in regards to Lizzie’s talents and studies, so Lizzie always felt very distant from her. When she left for her apprenticeship, she ended up bonding with Sally Murphy, to the point where Lizzie saw her as more of a parent figure. 

Lizzie noticed suspicious activity going on around town, and started investigating, even though Sally didn’t think anything was wrong. Lizzie had a conspiracy board and everything. She was kidnapped just as she was piecing everything together. 

It took her quite a few months to break out, but once she did, she immediately went hardcore and figured out how best to knock people out and keep them away from her. She had a lot of trauma that emerged after the Train Incident, but Kellar got very good at figuring out how to calm her down. 

MODERN AU: Hangs Christmas lights around her room and glowing stars on her ceiling. Knows more about Sonic the Hedgehog lore than the other Associates could ever understand. Huge Marvel/Star Wars fan. She has memorized all of Chicago, Hairspray, Black Panther, The Empire Strikes Back and Mamma Mia. 

[reginaofdoctorwho]

I posted 35,986 times in 2021

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35174 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 43.3 posts.

I added 300 tags in 2021

#spies are forever - 60 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#our band teacher kept giving us updates on the organ and how normally during a fire molten metal drips into organ pipes and ruin them foreve

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

everyday my brain decides to come up with a thought that’ll hurt for the day. today’s thought is “Curt didn’t even try to escape the russian facility by himself, he was just stalling the whole time. Making jokes, deflecting torture back at Oleg. He knew Owen would come for him. Owen probably managed to show up most of the time when Curt was captured. The reason he didn’t even try to stall or deflect anything in Torture Tango was because he knew Owen wasn’t coming and blamed himself”

96 notes • Posted 2021-05-08 15:03:27 GMT

#4

allen the alien has done nothing wrong ever and i love him

127 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 05:50:28 GMT

#3

going back to the knock off barbie show because of this scene

133 notes • Posted 2021-04-18 20:54:23 GMT

#2

everyone in the princess bride is bi that’s why everyone who watched it on repeat as a kid is bi now

148 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 17:38:25 GMT

#1

if anyone wants to recommend musicals to me I would fucking adore that. Until then, here are some suggestions:

Love in Hate Nation-- LET’S GO LESBIANS! 1960s sapphic love story taking place in a girls’ reformatory. Also, trans girl played by trans actress!!! Some of the amazing songs are “I Hope” and “Oh Well”. Susannah Son wants to be a singer, her performative activist boyfriend is gross and also wants her to marry him so he’ll have better options politically. Sheila Nail is so fucking cool and I love everyone in this. My brain cuts out about this I’m so sorry babes. There is not a cast recording but there IS an original cast bootleg on youtube.

Holy Musical B@man!-- If you liked the goofiness of 1960s Batman and Robin, but think “man, these guys should’ve been able to swear! And also should have had a candy themed villain!” this is the musical for you. Also if you’ve heard of the very queer Harry Potter musical that JK herself tried to sue over, it’s made by the same group <3. As usual with Team Starkid, whole thing is up for free on youtube by the creators.

Firebringer-- Speaking of the same group... Cave people sapphics who I think are bi or pan. I love them and they’re all so dumb. Also, if you’ve seen the “I don’t really wanna do the work today” vine, that comes from this. I do not remember any of the second half other than one of them taking the ring the other is proposing with... to propose. And the “*blows kiss*” “fuck no, Zazz” “duly noted”. Kind of like a shitpost musical. Once again, free by creators. Actually, check out any of their musicals.

The Prom-- In Indiana, Emma just wants to take her girlfriend to the prom, and in response, the PTA cancels it. With some help from some broadway actors looking for good publicity, they manage to pull it off. So, to summarize, teen lesbian gets gay uncle who knows what she’s going through!! This musical makes me cry every goddamn time. There is a movie now, and I’m very happy about that because *high profile gay rep on netflix*, but I personally did not like the direction they took with it. They put a weird amount of emphasis on biological rather than found family in the movie, and were a little too forgiving when it came to trauma from family for being gay. Also, they took away Emma being butch. This was sadly (loosely) based on a recent true story from I think 2012. Also, was the first gay kiss in the Macy’s parade. You know those movie musicals the straight girls in theater like? The music is similar, but gayer, and for some reason that makes me so fuckng happy. I think it’s because non-queer people have had musicals for so long, and those normally have a 60s vibe, and the music in this does too and it feels more classic?? Sapphic promposal song (het at the beginning). “Unruly Heart” and the end of Act 1 will break you. Please ignore the bad wigs.

Spies Are Forever-- GAY SPIES GAY SPIES GAY SPIES!! Curt Mega (played by... Curt Mega) lost his partner Owen during a mission. Now, he’s just trying to get back into spying like Owen would want. I fucking weep every time. Also, a song about comphet (at 6:36)!! And here is a video essay on how it relates to the Lavender Scare. I want you all to know that everyone also headcanons the femme fatale spy in it as either a lesbian or aroace, which uh, makes sense. Also high quality videos put up by creators. They had Jewish people making fun of Nazis while writing this, but “Not so Bad” is... kinda bad. “Torture Tango” has so much goddamn sexual tension and becomes devastating.

Hadestown--  If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 1. Orpheus is a poor musician, Eurydice dies, just like the myth. Except, the Great Depression post-apocalyptic setting that works better than it probably should. There are actually 3 soundtracks: the concept album, off-Broadway, and Broadway. I personally don’t like the concept album purely based on vibe. Off-Broadway has an absolutely gorgeous sounding Orpheus, and if you’ve heard of the disaster that was Spiderman: Turn Out the Dark, then you’ve heard of surprisingly amazing Broadway Orpheus Reeve Carney. The Fates are gorgeous and I’ve decided they’re queer. Tony’s performance link here. Explores relationships, with Hades and Persephone’s aging relationship mirrored by Orpheus and Eurydice’s relatively new one. Anyway, unionize.

Jasper in Deadland-- If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 2. Jasper is a teen who’s best friend Agnes is pretty much the one good thing left in his life. His mom left, he got kicked off the swim team (he’s manic pixie dream boy in this, especially for swimming), and Agnes dies at the beginning trying to show Jasper that she’s brave and he should be too. So, he bravely ventures into Deadland to find her, meeting Gretchen the tour guide along the way. He also finds out that since he’s still living, he can bring memories back to the dead. Songs like “Stroke by Stroke” (he’s uh, definitely a teen, guys) and “Living Dead” (I shared a prinxiety animatic of that on here a while ago).They blend Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Christian, and whatever Dante’s Inferno counts as together to create Deadland. Story’s kinda hard to follow from the soundtrack, so if u wanna learn how it all ties together message me.

Death Note Musical-- Okay babes, here’s where it gets tough. It was written originally in English, and there is a spectacular English concept album, but the only productions have been in South Korea, Japan, and I think Taiwan. Listen to it anyways, find a bootleg of it with english subtitles. It has so much gay tension and also a truly ethereal character who seems to be a lesbian who is also either demisexual or demiromantic. If any of y’all saw the anime like me, it kind of cuts out the arc after episode 26. I personally thought it was actually a better story for it.

Alice by Heart-- Okay, this one makes me fucking cry every goddamn time. In WW2, these poor goddamn kids are all alone in the Tube System (is that what y’all call it? genuinely asking here) with none of their parents but still some grownups. Alice’s best friend Alfred is dying of tuberculosis, and to try to have one last thing together they start reading Alice in Wonderland, only for Nurse Hart to rip it apart to try to separate healthy Alice from dying-from-TB Alfred. It doesn’t work, and Alice proclaims she “knows it all by heart”, She tries to linger in the story with Alfred to have more time with him, he keeps trying to move it along because he’s dying and wants to finish it one last time. Themes are growing up and grief I guess.

Last I checked, there is a bootleg for all of these on youtube. Have fun!

229 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 09:42:37 GMT

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete?  No. How good is Coca-Cola?  It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper? 
 No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?  Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?  Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in?  I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to?  Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  UHHHHHH.  I'm honestly not quite sure.  But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1.  I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?  Hmmmm.  Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford?  Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me.  I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life?  Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups?  NOTHING.  NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid?  FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer?  When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you?  Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space?  *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?  Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?  The night of the breakup.  I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run).  Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes.  Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say?  "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say?  Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts?  Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both.  But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal?  Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going?  Sara's. Do you believe in astrology?  Definitely not. Do you have an accent?  Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words.  Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?  No. Do you sing in the shower?  I have been a tad bit lately...  I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera.  55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir?  In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet?  Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt?  I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah.  I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind?  I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough?  Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?  No. Would you survive in prison?  No.  I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?  Rarely, no, no.  I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol.  Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked?  Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world?  If I'mma be in it, hell yeah.  But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Landmarks.  I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now.  Oh wait.  Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay?  YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-;  It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name."  Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee?  No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family?  Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?  The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day?  Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress?  Hm.  Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no.  My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily.  Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do?  I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die.  My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you?  Yeah.  It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret?  Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with?  Meh.  Juan.  We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him.  Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year.  He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him.  Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles?  Stones. What does your grandma call you?  Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother?  Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub?  Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting?  No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating?  I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure?  No. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking?  I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing.  Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now?  Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed.  I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her.  It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR?  No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up.  Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game?  I don't really enjoy card games.  I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules.  I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though.  I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing.  And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours?  Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?  I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots?  No.  I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear?  "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved?  Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair?  No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke?  No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  Huh, I dunno.  Just the guy and myself?  Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection?  Holy fuck, after my last ear infection?  Strep. Where was your first job?  GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end?  No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life?  Three. Are you too kind for your own good?  Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show?  The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes?  I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count?  If not, uh.  Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you?  Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning.  Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?  Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially?  I don't have a job.  So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water?  Essentia.  Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive?  Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush?  Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?  The pill.  But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender?  Yeah. What gender do you identify as?  Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?  No. Have you ever used a tampon?  Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?  I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal?  Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger.  A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver?  Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date?  Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk.  I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid?  Nah.  I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool?  Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school? ��Browns and black.  It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have?  Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA.  I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach?  Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons?  Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance?  Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child?  Disney World. Have you ever had braces?  Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites.  I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test?  I haven't yet.

[droo216]

Have you seen the latest Descendants movie yet? If so, comments?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on Descendants 2? (Also can we talk about that Jane mess for a sec too?)

Anonymous said: Hey, Drew! I was wondering what you thought of Descendants 2. Also, am I the only one who got ex-vibes every time Harry and Jay were on screen together?

Anonymous said: hi! did you watch descendants 2 and if you did, did you like it? also maybe people have already asked this but what is your opinion of the casting for the live action aladdin movie?? lots of love, from a belgian follower xx

Well hi, everyone! Here we go!

I really liked Descendants 2, actually. I thought it was so much better than the original. They did a great job fleshing out side characters that were just empty references to their parents in the first film. Lonnie and Chad particularly stand out as characters that were better served in the sequel. Doug as well, though to a lesser degree.

I loved Uma, Harry, and Gil. I was eager for more scenes with them! Dizzy was a stand-out character for me as well, I thought she was so cute. Harry was fantastic, clearly inspired by Colin O'Donoghue's take on Hook. Gil was probably the least interesting to me, I don't tend to side with the dumb guy, but he has the best line in the movie - "Tell your mom Gaston says hi, and tell your dad that my dad wishes he'd finished him when he had the chance." So good.

The core four were... fine, I guess. Mal is really uninteresting to me as a character and I feel Jay really gets underserved in these films. And anyone who wants to try to convince me that Carlos DeVil is straight and is in love with Jane is welcome to try. I see the way he looks at Jay. Give me a break!

Sofia Carson as Evie is the real star of the Descendants franchise. Not only is the character the most well-written and developed, but she plays the role so well. I love Evie.

The songs were a mess. They feel so detached from the story. The opening sequence is a daydream and has nothing to do with the movie itself. The Space Between is pretty, I appreciate giving the Troy and Gabriella song to the two girls, but let's find some better lyrics that actually relate to the theme of the movie. The YouTube rap battle on the pirate ship was so embarrassing, I was cringing the whole time. Uma's song was good but they underplayed the whole "Shrimpy" thing so the "what's my name" lyric had less power. The best song is easily Chillin' Like A Villain. The title is so good, it makes so much sense, Ben is hilarious throughout, and the choreography is so different and fun!

Let's talk ships. What the heck is going on here. I ship everything. Ben and Carlos, Carlos and Jay, Jay and Lonnie, Evie and Mal, Mal and Uma, Uma and Harry, Harry and Gil - oh wait, you wanted canon ships? Give me a break. Mal and Ben together are fine, it makes sense for the story, he's the main Auradon character and she's the main VK, sure. And Evie and Doug is kind of cute because of the Snow White connection. But Gil and Harry should've been canon (it's time, Disney. It's time). And designing a character like Carlos and giving him chemistry with every male character he meets and then forcing him into a relationship with Jane is... borderline offensive. It's the same crap they pulled with Ryan Evans. They made a character, people translated the character as gay, people identified with the character because he's not part of the Everyone Is Straight mentality that Disney, frankly, has cultivated, and then tried to box him into a little heterosexual corner by shoving him into a chemistry-less and illogical romance with a female character (Kelsi and Jane could both be seen as gay as well. Kelsi was frequently interpreted as such and Jane's struggles with her mother and her peers could certainly lead that way, but they're not nearly as clearly queer-coded as Ryan and Carlos).

Anyway. Let me get off my soapbox.

The best part, for me, was the ending. I LOVED that Mal finally became a dragon! Uma using her mother's necklace to charm Ben and then become huge in the water like Ursula was excellent. This is what I wanted more of! The children following in their parents' footsteps and then making choices about whether they want to continue on the paths that their parents forged. I thought for a second that Ben was going to transform into a Beast and I was super pumped for that, but then it didn't happen.

Also, to address each anon:

Anon 1: Jane has always been a mess. It’s so frustrating. They could do some really interesting stuff with that character and her relationship with her mother (see above!) but they just won’t ever develop her properly, even if they didn’t want to make her a lesbian. I don’t think she gets the story she deserves, and lumping her together with Carlos is just ridiculous. Justice for Jane!

Anon 2: I don’t remember seeing anything between Harry and Jay... I don’t even remember seeing them on screen together except as backup for Mal and Uma and I don’t remember an interaction. Maybe they sword fought... I don’t remember, unfortunately! I’m a big Harry/Gil shipper though so I wasn’t watching for Harry/Jay!

Anon 3: HELLO, BELGIUM! I had a friend in high school who had dual citizenship with the States and Belgium and I begged him to teach me Flemish and he wouldn’t for some reason! The Aladdin casting has been OK, I guess. I’m not familiar with anything that the actors playing Aladdin, Jasmine, or Jafar have done, and Will Smith as the Genie is... fine? I don’t know, we have lots of amazing comedians in the world, and Will Smith feels like kind of a weak choice. I mean, I’d probably take Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the Genie over Will Smith (although I’ve The Rock pegged for a different live action Disney character, stay tuned for that at some point!)

[the-overlook-hotel-consumed-me]

Day 5: Favourite Horror Movie - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1973), Carrie (1976), The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016), Frankenstein (1931), Seed of Chucky (2004)

I know that the day says movie as in singular but I physically couldn’t choose. I love all of these films for one reason or another and I would probably cry if you asked me to pick one.

As I’ve said before, I love Texas Chainsaw. I have absolutely no clue why as I can’t think of an aspect that stands out to me more than the others. I guess my love for slashers and gore in general could probably play a big part in it but I’m still not 100% sure. And of course I’ve seen all the memes of Leatherface with the makeup on and ‘when you attempt a makeup tutorial off youtube’ and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t true in any way, shape, or form, considering Bubba did a better job at makeup than I’ve ever done in the almost 4 years I’ve been wearing it fulltime. I don’t know, maybe when your parents raise you on country music and you realise you don’t like it, it’ll later manifest itself into a slasher you’ll find 10 years down the line ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’ve gotta say, I love this film and the character to pieces. Maybe because in school, I was always one of the ‘freaks’ that very few people actually liked. I didn’t grow up with a religious family let alone an extremist mother like she did, but I was continually bullied for about 6 years. Once that finally stopped, I was outed in my new school as a lesbian, which pushed my recovery of a variety of things backwards quite significantly. But self-projection aside, I absolutely love it. I’ve even got my Carrie pop vinyl front and centre on my shelf as she deserves to be. And I’m not going to lie, even as a child I was always terrified something like this would happen to me if I ever went to prom, obviously not with pigs blood as we were miles away from a farm. Closest we had at that point was bacon and I have a feeling that I would prefer that to, y’know, blood. I keep getting off topic but 10/10, please go and watch this film if you somehow haven’t already.

My friend had said that she had seen this film already as I pulled it up on Netflix and she said that it was kind of an eh film. Like it wasn’t awful but it definitely wasn’t anything special. One day (pretty sure it was before our Christmas break) I’d started watching it at lunch and even though I’d only seen about 20 minutes of the start (goddamn period 5, I don’t even like science) but I really liked the portion that I’d seen. I kid you not, as soon as I got home that day, the first thing I did was finish the film. It’s amazing, like genuinely one of the best I think, and it’s so sad that it doesn’t get more recognition and it isn’t more well known. I actually had a conversation with a cashier in HMV when I brought this as they had the same opinion as me regarding the film. It might not sound like much but as someone who is struggling to overcome social anxiety it was a massive step for me. Great film, still distraught over the cat to this day, and the film proves the importance of wearing your goddamn glasses while you’re having hallucinations. Really should’ve gone to Specsavers.

I’ve only recently started watching the classic classics from the first half of the 20th century but I think Frankenstein is brilliant. The whole reason I wanted to watch this in the first place was due to the fact I had a Literature teacher who was getting us to analyse the story and how Frankenstein’s monster wasn’t really a monster and was just perceived wrong by everyone that came into their path. Sadly, we stopped mid-way through this topic as we had a change of teacher but it really interested me so I wanted to read the full book without teachers hovering over. And then I found the Universal Classic re-release and I was so excited. I was on facetime to my friend at the beginning of it and she’s still got screenshots of me just gaping at the screen. I think it’s so sad that the classics aren’t watched as much anymore with all the remakes and spin-offs etc. because it’s genuinely a really good and really fascinating film.

Somewhere in the front room of my house, I’ve still got most of my dolls from when I was a kid. I absolutely loved them, especially the Monster High ones which is really ironic now, but I can assure you that I haven’t transferred my soul into any as of now. And since I’ve gotten into horror movies, I really got into the Child’s Play series. The Bride of Chucky is also one of my favourites but this one takes the cake for me with these. It must’ve been around 10 minutes in and I really liked Glen/da already. Like, it was just a feeling I had about the character but the further I got into the film, the more I liked the character, and I can almost be unembarrassed with the fact that the ending of this almost made me cry. I think the worst part of this was the fact that we likely wouldn’t see any more of Tiffany or Glen/da in the other movies. And yes, I’m one of the people who think the Child’s Play remake will be awful, but yes, of course I’m going to see it anyway. 

I know nobody reads these anyway but if you did congratulations for having an attention span of steel.

And get ready for the tags, they’re all going down.

[krokodile]

movies watched in 2018 -

the feels - i’ll take any lesbian movie where the women aren’t humorless drags or fucking crazy.  well.  a little fucking crazy, but not to the point of being off-putting.  well.  not TOO off-putting.  they all get to be pretty damn annoying after a while.  it’s a cute movie and not without its charms.  as far as lesbian neuroses movies go, this is one of the lighter ones.  

sweet childhood - this isn’t technically a movie; it’s an animated short, but holy shit it’s just FUNNY.  it’s on youtube; go find it.  the expressions on the adult main character in particular are just great.  

alex strangelove - i was expecting this to be about a bi kid choosing between his girlfriend and a cute new boy.  what i got was the standard cookie-cutter “gay realization” story arc.  boring.

deadpool 2 - not as funny as the first one, but watchable.

roman j israel esq - i  didn’t want to see this; mom liked it and wanted me to see it, so i did.  it was what i expected.  it’s nice to see denzel do something different, and he did a good job, and the ideas the story has are pretty interesting in terms of what it meant to be social activist 40-50 years ago and what it means now.  but then in the middle of the movie, for no discernable reason, he just...takes a big ole dump on the law?  and the movie just kind of spins out into a whole lot of nothing?  

paterno - if this had been a lifetime movie i would’ve been impressed, but i expect hbo to have something to say.  i didn’t necessarily expect them to pick a side, but the movie didn’t really do anything but show events that took place while wobbling between “paterno got screwed” and “paterno got off too easy.”  again, i wasn’t necessarily expecting them to pick a side, but i feel like you can’t attempt to present them both simultaneously without muddling the film.  if they weren’t going to pick a side, i think they should’ve just presented what happened from a neutral place.  these are the events as recorded; this is what we know happened; this is what people SAY happened.  i do understand that a lot of people have some very complicated feelings on this man and that it’s not necessarily as straightforward as his being entirely right or entirely wrong.  but i feel like that’s not the viewpoint we got either; the movie felt like it was wildly swinging from pro- to anti- and back again.  i felt like it was trying to tell me what to think, rather than let me decide for myself, which again is fine, but you can’t do that if you change sides every fifteen minutes.  it’s exhausting.

maybe my perspective is somewhat colored by the fact that my feelings about the guy are complicated as fuck.  i come from penn state people.  i don’t give a shit about football, but i know how much paterno meant to that school and to the entire region in general.  and i can imagine how much it hurt everyone to find out that he had done some truly fucked-up things, regardless of his motives.

ultimately, maybe the moral of the story is don’t treat people like gods, because people will start believing it.  the wildfire spread of cockamamie notions that paterno literally knew every coming and going at the school and was the puppet master of the entire institution and everyone within it was what seemed to do the most damage to his reputation to the outsider observers, and if paterno hadn’t been elevated to the ridiculous status he had been, maybe that wouldn’t have stuck.  or maybe his record would’ve made him appear infallible enough that it would have anyway; i don’t know.

and stop reading now if you don’t want to hear me go on at length about why i think paterno got fucked over but also what he deserved.

for what it’s worth; i think paterno deserved better than he got.  i think he tried to act in the best interests of the college and the team, and sometimes in the best interest of the victims, and i think he got fucked over by the men above him covering their own asses.  

and he absolutely should have consistently put the interests of the victims ahead of anything else.  i’m not going to argue with the people who think  he failed in his moral obligation, because i don’t disagree.  i think he deserved to be fired; i don’t think doing it the way they did was right.  and i don’t think he should be held as the sole person culpable for the cover-ups when most of what went on was being hidden from him.  not when the campus officers he reported to immediately buried the report.  not when the local cops and victim’s principal did the same.  hell, not when the first victim was bullied mercilessly for daring to speak out against saint sandusky.  and i don’t think that he should be criticized more vocally and frequently than a man who plotted a charity for underprivileged children just so he would have his pick of the most vulnerable, at risk youth to abuse with no repercussions.  i don’t say this lightly; sandusky is a monster.  and paterno was one of the few people who, upon realizing that this was the case, to ATTEMPT to do something about it besides cover it up.  

and i continue to think that part of the reason paterno ended up being the most controversial figure is that the vast majority of people are comfortable in the knowledge that they would never molest a child.  and people are comfortable letting mcqueary off the hook, even though he never went to the police despite WITNESSING sandusky raping a child, presumably because he told paterno about what he saw (rather than the police...again, you’d think people would take issue with someone else doing exactly what paterno did/didn’t do, but anyway).  but how many of us are 100% certain that we would believe allegations against a person we know, trust and believe to not just be a good person but a great, selfless person who’s dedicated his life to helping those less fortunate, the moment we heard them?  i know in that situation i SHOULD believe them.  but i don’t think i would be able to immediately.  there would at least be a voice in my head saying “okay, but what if..?”  and i sometimes think that maybe a lot of people wonder if that’s how they’d react in a situation like that, and condemn paterno loudly to cover up their worries that they might react similarly.  “well, if i boo him loudly enough, it means i would never do that, doesn’t it?  obviously, right?”  or maybe not.  maybe this is something that should be easy.  given the number of people, though, who stick by their child or sibling or friend’s abuser, who stick by their OWN...i don’t think it’s as rare as we’d all like to think.  

i understand why people think that joe paterno can no longer be considered a good person.  i wouldn’t argue with them, because they aren’t wrong.  regardless of his reasoning, he did what he did, and when your actions harm someone else, your intentions matter a hell of a lot less than they might have initially.  it just perplexes me as to why people seem more horrified by paterno than by sandusky, or the cops who covered up what he did, or the faculty who tried to bargain with him to just stop molesting kids already.  i don’t believe that he knew everything that went on and i certainly don’t believe he orchestrated everything; to me that’s just conspiracy nut ranting.  he wasn’t that powerful.  he wasn’t a god.  he was just a man.  and regardless of whether he was a good man or a bad man, he didn’t act alone.  he deserved punishment for his role in enabling sandusky to continue his predatory behavior; he didn’t deserve to be held up as the face of evil in place of sandusky, or the police who actively covered up the crimes paterno reported, or the school principal who told the first victim’s family to forget about everything because reporting it would destroy sandusky’s reputation, purely because people recognized his name.

[amorremanet]

10 facts about meme: Lucy? And Adelaide, if you don't mind doing two?

send me one of my oc’s and i tell you ten facts about them

This is the shitty, “I fell asleep instead of doing this last night, and then, when I was almost fucking done, trying to make tumblr instant messenger stop doing something made it decide to click over somewhere else, and Firefox apparently doesn’t let the Lazarus extension work anymore, so I lost everything and am completely skimming out of frustration because the original was detailed and cool, and I lost basically all of it” version

LUCY

1. Has never completed a Pokémon game with a grass or water starter. She just doesn’t bond with them as much as she does with the fire starters, and any time she tries to pick a grass or water starter, she inevitably gives up, restarts, and picks the fire starter instead.

2. Since she turned 18, she’s made a point of giving blood as often as possible, because she’s type-O negative (the universal donor), and the Red Cross is pretty much always running short on blood, which can leave a lot of people totally screwed when they need to get transfusions.

3. Doesn’t believe in astrology and dismisses most of things in that vein as a cold-reading scam that’s based on exploiting people’s ability to project themselves onto anything…… but she does have an interest in dream interpretation.

4. She finds recipes confusing, and is even more befuddled by the Food Network and, “how to make [x baked goods]” videos on youtube, to the point that she finds them more stressful than getting a, “We need to talk” text from her parents. And yet, she is not confused by instructions in a chemistry lab.

5. She loves her red hair, but hates being called, “ginger.” It’s not that she thinks the word is offensive or anything; she just thinks that it sounds weird and slightly disgusting.

6. One of her favorite forms of, “teenage rebellion” was watching televangelists (or more accurately, having them on while she did other stuff because it’s really easy for Lucy to tune them out), which Lucy wouldn’t have liked so much if she’d actually paid attention to any of them (because of how televangelists exploit their viewers’ pain and suffering, get rich off of it, and don’t have to pay taxes on most of that money because they call it, “religious donations”) — but it did successfully annoy her very Catholic parents and very Catholic, “he’s a legit priest and everything” uncle.

7. A horror movie can be as political or politically coded as it wants. Unless it does something truly novel with the genre, like Get Out, then Lucy will probably just roll her eyes, complain about how many people value, “edginess” over quality, and then go watch The Great Mouse Detective for the umpteenth time. It’s not even that she gets squicked by horror movies, because she stops at dismissing all of them as edgelord garbage and doesn’t give them a chance.

8. She has even less patience for the films of Christopher Nolan, and literally the only one that she doesn’t go in too hard on is The Dark Knight, which only gets any consideration because Heath Ledger died not that long after making it, in ways that were pretty heavily associated with the movie in popular culture.

Not that she really cares about Heath Ledger, or even about the taboo on speaking ill of the dead, but she figures that he isn’t Ronald Reagan levels of terrible, or worse, so it’s easier to just not get into it with people over Heath Ledger when all that she wanted to say was that The Dark Knight isn’t actually that great

She will, however, talk shit about Ronald Reagan pretty much any time she’s given an opportunity, and especially if her Mom and Dad are around (because they were big Reaganites, back in the day, and annoying them with her hatred of the Gipper keeps them from paying attention to things like how her, “best friend” Sara Grace is actually her girlfriend)

9. Her answer to the question of whether she prefers cats or dogs will probably be something like, “iguanas” because she hates the assumption that it’s not possible to love cats and dogs more or less equally, but she also has better things to argue with people about.

10. She can’t whistle, she’s not really a very good dancer, and the last time she tried to tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, she wound up swallowing it.

ADELAIDE

1. At 5’11”, Addie is taller than her big brother and their Mom (who are both 5’10”), and when standing up as best man when Max and Linda got married, she didn’t try to make him feel short, but she did wear a nice pair of heels and didn’t really go out of her way not to make him feel short, either.

2. By all rights, Addie probably should’ve been diagnosed with ADHD a while ago, but because her childhood and adolescence lasted from about 1986-2000 (when she turned 18), and because in 2017, ADHD is still badly misunderstood and under-diagnosed in AFAB kids, Addie got missed and made it to 33, thinking that all of her ADHD symptoms are just personal quirks or failings.

3. Her favorite color is purple. The darker the shade, the better.

4. Her ability to interpret song lyrics is often questionable. Like, on one hand, she’s totally made the mistake of hearing, “There’s a bathroom on the right” instead of, “There’s a bad moon on the rise” during the chorus of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”

—and on the other hand, she completely missed that most of Missy Elliot’s “Work It” is explicitly about cunnilingus until Pete asked her what the Hell she thought the lyric, “Go downtown and eat it like a vulture” was referring to, especially given its proximity to Ms. Elliot talking about shaving her chocha. (All Addie has to say for herself is that she got caught up on the, “Girls, girls, get that cash / If it’s 9 to 5 or shakin’ your ass” verse.)

She also thought that Spice Girls were singing about group sex in “Wannabe,” rather than singing about making sure that your significant other can get along with your gal pals, and she kept thinking this until mid-September 2012.

5. As far as her family knows, Addie almost got arrested on her 18th birthday and had to run from the cops while she and a few friends were kinda drunk and screwing around in New York City. What really happened was that her birthday was on a Saturday, so they signed themselves out of school for the weekend, went to NYC, and saw the revival of Jesus Christ Superstar because her parents bought them tickets.

Then, they used fake ID’s to get some alcohol and got kinda drunk. Then, while they were screwing around in Brooklyn instead of going to cousin Jeremy’s place and crashing for the night, they wound up going by a gay bar, where Addie tripped over her own feet and got caught by a cute butch lesbian who happened to be dressed as a sexy cop for a themed party at said gay bar and had gone outside for a smoke break.

Then, one of Addie’s friends mistook this poor woman for a real cop and insisted that they run, and despite putting it together in the cold, sober light of day that there had been no actual danger, Addie told Sebastian the, “We so totally almost got arrested” story because she thought it sounded cooler, and at this point, it’s been 15 years, and she doesn’t see a point in correcting her family when her younger cousins get the, “Don’t get too rowdy on your 18th birthday or you may end up running from the cops like Adelaide” cautionary tale.

6. She would probably try to play real-world Quidditch, if she could get anyone to play with her, but that’s not going to happen, because everyone who knows her also knows that Addie is competitive as fuck, and that playing “muggle Quidditch” with her is a good way to get at least mildly injured.

7. She can see where the dislike that a lot of people in her life have for the All-Stars comes from, but personally, Addie doesn’t buy into it herself. She doesn’t really care to defend them, either, but at this point, she feels like most of the world’s problems can’t be solved with super-strength or heat vision, and they’re more complicated than the All-Stars’ image would allow them to handle, so it’s best to see the All-Stars as entertainers, rather than actual heroes.

Not that she begrudges anyone their annoyance with the fact that the All-Stars make, “we are actual heroes” a cornerstone of their so-called “brand,” but if you ask Addie, it’s not all that much different from how U.S. politicians lie up one side and down the other about basically everything, and how much of U.S. politics is increasingly little more than a theatre spectacle to cover up what’s actually going on

Oddly enough, Addie is accidentally on to something with that, because a lot of the supervillains in this universe are not truly participating in any shadowy conspiracy…… but they are being manipulated by members of one, and alternately being used as a source of talking points, or as distractions, so that the folks in said shadowy conspiracy (who are a mix of mutants and not) can push through their own agendas and try to secure their own power at the expense of anyone who gets in their way

Not that it’s really here or there at the moment, but this is totally going to bite them in the ass, partly from the people they’ve been exploiting and screwing over for decades putting shit together and pushing back, and partly because they decide to bank on installing a puppet who isn’t as easily controlled or as easily made to serve their agendas as they think. Anyway, as I was saying.

8. If Adelaide hadn’t gone into the family business and started vying with Max to see who’s going to become CEO when their Dad retires, she probably would’ve gone into advertising. If not that, she most likely would’ve gone to law school.

However, despite the fact that her Mom and several of her cousins are lawyers, Addie’s notions about how being a lawyer works are mostly derived from Legally Blonde, Ally McBeal, and Law and Order: SVU, so it might be a good thing that she has no idea what she’d actually want to do at law school.

9. Popular wisdom holds that she only isn’t the worst driver out of her siblings because Sebastian is the one who should’ve racked up multiple DUI charges by now, by all rights shouldn’t have his license anymore, and rarely uses it these days anyway because he, “doesn’t have PTSD, he just doesn’t like driving okay, it kinda freaks him out” (…which it does because of the PTSD that he allegedly doesn’t have but that’s another matter)

Addie holds that this popular wisdom is misogynistic bullshit being passed off as familial teasing, because actually, she’s a much better driver than all three of her brothers (with both cars and motorcycles, though only she and Seb have ever driven one of those, so it’s a little unfair to Max and Ambrose)

—and she may not know how to fix more complicated car problems, but she can at least get a better grasp on what might be wrong than, “I don’t know, it keeps making a thunka thunka thunka sound if you go above 60 mph” and she has more than once fixed something for her brothers that turned out to be something like, “You were driving with the parking brake on, dumb-ass”

10. Her go-to karaoke night songs are Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl” — the latter of which would be funnier to Adelaide if she’d intended to sound hella bi when she first started doing it, rather than picking it because she was kinda drunk and knew all the words, then getting really into singing it and having no conscious idea where those emotions were coming from