#i should write more spideytorch... but i should do a Lot Of Things...

[sciderman]

peter parker must be a brokeass bitch no matter what. it's a universal constant. the only loophole is for him to date someone with lots of money from their own jobs (former assassin, supermodel/actress, whatever johnny storm does, etc)

whatever johnny storm does (his johnny stormiest)

[traincat]

got the sudden urge to re-read 'work song' this weekend after years of not really being into spideytorch anymore. the fic is still incredible, it's reminding me why i used to love them, but it got me wondering -- was there ever any canon fallout from sue, reed, and the kids being gone like that? i had already stopped reading the comics at that point.

It's funny, I've been thinking of Work Song recently too. I obviously like to get into the guts of canon in a lot of my fic, but Work Song was really an exercise in getting into the emotional fallout that comics tend not to deal with -- for both good and bad reasons. (I think the modern lack of dealing with pretty much any emotional fallout is bad, but also if you have a serial story you have to keep a certain amount of action going. Idk, complicated thoughts about pacing and sacrifices made for genre standards and the shifting of those standards from decade to decade, etc., etc.)

And the answer to whether the fallout is ever addressed in 616 canon is... kind of no? I think there were attempts made -- both Zdarsky in his Two-in-One series and Bendis, somewhat, in Infamous Iron Man were sort of digging into things, albeit notably before Reed and Sue were actually back. (Both of those series deal HEAVILY with their absence, though.) But both of those series were also cut short, and they have finales I'm not quite satisfied with, which in this case is the fault of neither author. I think Zdarsky tried with his final two issues of Two-in-One especially, especially the one that focuses on Johnny and Sue, but just didn't have the space to address the issue of Reed and Sue essentially leaving Johnny and Ben with the gravitas and nuance that it deserved. And given that Johnny is, you know, flat out suicidal over this issue in the first ten issues of Two-in-One, that's a problem. (IIM also has a disappointing final two issues, but it focuses much more on Ben and Doom than on Johnny. Hell of a setup, wish it didn't feature the biggest copout resolution of all time.) And again I don't think this is either writer's fault -- they were both clearly trying to do something interesting and emotional, and 2n1 had a really good set up and character work. It just wasn't given the space to stick any kind of landing before everything had to be wrapped up in a tidy little bow so Slott could write some mystifyingly bad stories. (I don't believe Slott ever seriously addresses the fallout, but I could be wrong. I skimmed the back half of that run hard.)

And also I think this was something of a foundational problem that sprung from Reed and Sue and the kids going missing not as an actual story point but as a hissy fit over film rights. There was never any solid plan in action for where they were or what they were doing or what Ben and Johnny fought over that caused Ben to leave for space and Johnny to spiral out of control -- it was all just "this is happening now because we canceled the Fantastic Four comic because we want the film rights." It's very hard to build a story on shaky ground like that when you've got multiple writers, all who seemed to have slightly different takes, and apparently no one on an editorial level actually managing all of that to make sure there was a cohesive story in place. Even if the reader doesn't have that information, there should be some kind of established story for the writers to follow, and it kind of seemed like there just wasn't. (I say "kind of seemed" because obviously I wasn't there and I don't know for sure, but also like, we know for sure that there wasn't. By reading the comics it was very clear that there wasn't.) It's frustrating to think about it now because it could have been some really great storytelling, and instead it was addressed just barely and then kind of rushed along. And I feel similarly about Superior Spider-Man's fallout, except they keep resurrecting that concept every two years and kicking it around like it has anything interesting left in it.

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Would you happens to know any good kon fics?

I’m not sure if ris went on anon and asked the same question twice, or if this is two different people. Either way, ask and ye shall receive.

There isn’t enough Kon content out there, in my opinion. He’s such an underappreciated character, both by DC and by the fandom. Most of the works out there that feature Kon only have him as a background character, and then most of those are centered around Tim. But I’ll try to find the ones that focus mainly on Kon. 

1. The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts by Aviatricks Tim/Kon. 4,000 words. You can’t have a Kon fic rec without including this one. There’s a very high chance that you’ve already read it, but I’m going to add it anyway because it’s one of my favourite DC fics of all time. It’s from Tim’s point of view, but it’s centered around Kon, and honestly, just one of the most hilarious things ever. Read this if you want a short, feel-good, happy fic that will make you laugh.

2. On My Chest, On My Heart by dnawhite76 Tim/Kon. 20,000 words. Now this! This is an absolutely wonderful Timkon fic that’s actually centered around Kon and is from Kon’s point of view. Amazing. It’s a Love Simon High School AU of sorts, featuring lots of superfam and Kon being a gay disaster, and an incredible coming out sequence. Kon feels a little lost, a little out of place, and not at all happy (at the beginning), but the way the author wrote his family and friends’ support and his character development was the BEST. It’s a little lengthy, but so worth it.

3. Boys of Summer by MarbleAide Tim/Kon. 5,500 words. A summer camp AU that follows Tim and Kon through the years. Again, from Tim’s point of view, but he’s so in love with Kon, it’s so cute. It’s a cute fic with a healthy dose of pining. The prose is a little simple, and the pacing’s just a bit too fast, but the overall universe this fic (along with the rest of the antics of the core four) is adorable. 

4. Close to Home by iesika Multiple pairings. 65,000 words. Ooooooh boy this is a LONG one. AU in the form of canon divergence. There’s a murder in Smallville High, and Kon and Tim attempt to solve the mystery together, while Kon goes through normal high school stuff (and some abnormal hero stuff.) It’s very very plotty, with a mystery that drives the whole thing. It’s got some pretty cool OCs, though I’m not usually a fan of that stuff, and it’s sort of kind of Timkon? It’s got an ambiguous ending, both of which I tend to shy away from. Overall, not my cup of tea but still a pretty great fic, and if you’re looking for Kon centered fics, this is the one to check out.

5. Gonna Be A Better One (A Thousand Miles To Your Door) by @traincat​ Tim/Kon. 18,500 words. I haven’t read this one in a while, but I do remember really really loving it. It’s classic take on the problems that come with being two teenagers dating while simultaneously being two teenage vigilantes. A little bit of cute core four stuff, the few instances where Steph shows up, she’s pretty well characterized. The two of them are hopelessly besotted, but also dealing with a lot of issues and they’re trying to figure out if their love is worth it. I loved this one, definitely worth a read. (Also unrelated but traincat is the spideytorch queen and spideytorch is like one of my top ships of all time so even if you’re not into marvel comics you should go read them anyway because I love them.)

6. Boys in Leather Jackets by @merelymine​ Tim/Kon. <3,000 words. I. Um. Yeah this is just PWP. I am completely unashamed. It’s cute at first, and then it’s hot as hell, and I will not apologize for reccing it. 

7. Curse of the Red-Heads by @pupeez4eva (sorry if this is the wrong link, their tumblr wasn’t linked on the fic so I did a little digging) Multiple Pairings. 5,000 words. I’m a little hesitant to rec this because it is mainly about Tim and Kon, but it’s told from Damian’s point of view and it’s got a fair bit of him as well. Regardless, Kon is actually hilarious whenever he shows up, and I loved him, so I’m reccing it anyway. Damian doesn’t understand how relationships work, and meddles in people’s love lives. It’s absolutely hilarious, if you’re up for a laugh, give it a read.

8. Three Little Words by timkons Tim/Kon. 10,000 words. Once again, centered around Tim, but features Kon being an incredible, loving husband so I’m not complaining. It’s a little angsty, and dives Tim’s emotional vulnerability. Tim and Kon fight, Tim is Emotional and Hates It, and it takes you on a ride of feels. But it ends happily, so that’s nice. (Sort of) Domestic and older Timkon, I really enjoyed this fic. 

9. Through Another Lens by animegoil Tim/Kon. 7,000 words. Mind the tags on this one, it’s a little bit triggering, and has a tad bit of non/con. This one isn’t one I really love, but it’s not bad overall. It’s a bit too wordy, and a tad anti-climatic? In a sense? But it’s from Kon’s pov and it shows his thought process pretty well. There’s a little bit of angst, followed up by Talking About Feelings and a hint of hurt/comfort. Overall, a decent read. 

10. Class Differences by wisia Tim/Kon. 13,500 words. Ooooooh man this was a good one. I was expecting silliness and fluff. Instead I got a ride of feels and some really really well written words. This fic centers around Kon dealing with the publicity that comes with being “Timothy Drake”’s boyfriend. And man is it rough. I just loved it though, absolutely incredible. I might reread it sometime and make a moodboard idk.

11. Matters of the Heart by @nyerus Tim/Kon. 13,500 words. This one is a case fic, with Kon realizing he’s in love with Tim and having to deal with that. Very plotty, but the action was done super well, so it added to the overall vibe of the fic. Kon is so in love with Tim, he’s hopeless, it’s great. Also, the author got Kon’s point of view down, like damn it’s incredible. Definitely worth a read!

12. What’s in a name? by dancingsweetheart129 Tim/Kon. 21,000 words. This one is more of a character introspection, as Kon learns to let his old name go as he grows up. I wasn’t really a fan of the writing style, it was too fast in some places and too wordy in others, and the prose got a little messy at times. But it is a really good character study, so if you’re looking for Kon centered fics, this is worth a shot.

13. We’re Not Dating by @dianaraven (once again, i’m not entirely sure this is the right url bc it wasn’t linked in the fic and I had to do some digging. sorry!) Tim/Kon. 5,500 words. Exactly what it says on the box. An old trope but a good one, fluff, pining, and people not realizing they’re in love with each other. Just a good, wholesome read.

14. Reveries by @nyerus Tim/Kon. 5,500 words. Another fic by nyerus, but this one’s short and sweet. Again, focused mainly on Tim, but it features the two of them being super in love and adorable and I love it. Read it if you want Cute Boyfriends being Cute Boyfriends (and tim getting some sleep for once in his life).

Alright, here are 14 fics to get you started. I also recommend you check out the individual authors fic recs, I really only put one of each on there (except for nyerus, they get two bc they’re great), but all of them have some really good DC fics. Once again, if you want more fics, or ones with a different ship/fandom, don’t hesitate to pop in my inbox. Happy reading!

(Also, I’m going to link my Kon-El aesthetic that I made bc it never hurts to get into the mood before you start diving into fics.)

[lamujerarana]

Nowadays there many seem to dislike the FF (usually based off the films). So FF fans are hard to come by, especially younger ones. What brought you to the FF and what story made you a fan? Also, what do you think Marvel can do to potentially increase new fans?

Well, I’ve said before that I think a lot of the FF's lack of popularity is bred from just sheer ignorance on fandom’s part. People don't know or get them -- or their limited exposure to the FF gives them a false sense of what they're like. 

So I think that just...doing a better job of marketing the FF could help. But more specifically, off the top of my head: 

Make Sue the official leader of the FF. Shift the narrative focus off of Reed and onto her. Give her a solo series. I think Sue could easily become the FF’s most popular character -- she’s a complete, badass warrior-woman and one of the most powerful superheroes in the MU. But so many people just...insist on seeing her as a weak, submissive housewife, and it irritates me. She isn’t like that. She’s not even a housewife -- she’s a CEO, a superhero, a celebrity, a philanthropist, a queen, a part-time SHIELD agent...it’s really a miracle that she has any time free to spend with her family.

Make Johnny on-panel bi/pan/poly. Let him date boys and other genders (...although he has canonically done the latter)! Let him talk openly about being queer and how struggling to come to terms with that factored into his depression, anxiety, and insecurity as a younger hero. Let him mentor younger queer heroes. That would both diversify the team and bring in more queer readers. I’ve been pushing the idea of Johnny as m-spec for years, and it really does seem to have helped increase his popularity, based on what I’ve seen on tumblr.

Make Reed canonically autistic. He’s been coded autistic for ages -- just...let him say it. Or write a story about him realizing he’s autistic later in life. (Personally, as an aroace person myself, I also think he’s a fairly sex-indifferent ace with a pretty low sex drive, but I think that’s less likely to be canonically confirmed any time soon, given the complete dearth of asexual characters at Marvel. We do, on the other hand, really need...ANY kind of aro/ace representation at Marvel.)

Ben...is pretty popular as is. But leaning a little harder into his rocky skin as a transparent metaphor for full-body disfigurement couldn’t hurt. 

As for how I started liking the FF...I kind of stumbled across them accidentally, to be honest. I was busy reading all of She-Hulk’s comics because I love her, which led me to read Spider-Man/Human Torch (she’s in the fourth one), and I completely fell in love with Spideytorch because of that. They were witty and banter-y! They had been best friends for decades! Supported each other through all of their darkest moments! So I started reading FF comics for Johnny and just…ended up falling in love with the whole team. Funnily enough, while I still love Spideytorch a lot, I’ve ended up drifting more in the direction of BenReedSue lately.

It was also around the same time that I’d grown very bored and disillusioned by Doctor Who – during Moffat’s tenure – and was looking for a new fandom to get into, and Fantastic Four comics were perfect. They had everything! They were all about fun adventures in space and time and other dimensions like Doctor Who, and they had that same undercurrent of tragedy and sadness that I’d always loved in NuWho. But they were better because they were about a family who loved each other, and there were cute little kids, and sweet moments between friends, siblings, and parents and their children. So it was Doctor Who if it was centered on a family instead of one man. I loved that! 

Needless to say, a lot of my love for the Doctor and his companions has wound up getting transferred to Reed and Sue. And they are similar! Reed and the Doctor were both very much created in the mold of the 1960s, professorial scientist hero. Reed and the Doctor both can be overly cerebral and prefers talking to violence, he is endlessly kind, warm, and compassionate like the Doctor, they’re both eccentric, charismatic, and likable, and they’re both tragic figures who are overwhelmed by guilt – the Doctor (at the time, at least) had destroyed his homeworld to save the universe, while Reed accidentally destroyed his family’s lives. To be honest, I kind of see Reed as being what the Doctor would be if he had been born human and was a loving family man to boot. They’re really very similar in terms of their personalities. Sue, on the other hand, has got companions’ badassery, cleverness, strength, and bravery. And Reed and Sue both have an incorrigible love for adventure, exploration, and discovery and a knack for getting into trouble that felt very familiar. And they all just wander around the multiverse helping people and fixing suns, planets, etc. 

And one thing I always loved about Doctor Who too was that it had been around for so long that I’d never run out of things to watch and read and listen to. And the FF had actually been around longer, so there was more than enough canon to keep me busy for ages. Even now, I still haven’t read everything.

So yeah. It was what I found to replace Doctor Who....and I really do think that Doctor Who fans in general would adore the FF. My ideal FF movie, actually, would be very much in the vein of Doctor Who. I think previous movies erred by keeping the FF too tied to Earth and not going all out with a outer space adventures and hijinks. 

[bexalizard]

dellanfere replied to your post “So while I am HUGELY distracted while trying to write an outline for a...”

how do you write your outlines?? i desperately need to figure out how to keep the tempo consistent

WOW this got long!! But I have a lot of feelings about my outlines! I mostly love them a lot and it’s helped me write more!! So here you go, I hope this helps!

1) I write it out on paper, so I can scratch things out and scribble shit in the margins. ---Also so I can lean over the paper and write with my nose right up in there and visual stim on making the ink marks on the paper. XD It’s a much more tactile experience, which helps my brain with creativity! ---Also also, everyone says you should totally rewrite from one draft to another and I just can’t do that when the first draft is in digital format, for a number of reasons. It’s just overall difficult.

2) I write it like I’m describing the scene to someone, the way I’d describe something happening in a movie. I tell myself jokes and I shorthand stuff and write out flippant things like “and he y’know, whatever, does the thing”.

3) Dialogue versus visuals!! I tend to write out most of the dialogue in full on paper. For whatever reason, it’s easier for me to “hear” the characters talking to each other when I’m writing on paper. Maybe because it’s easier to feel the tone of voice when you can write light or hard or scribble in caps and draw little faces for the emotions.

On the other hand, the visuals and action are easier when I’m typing it up! When I read my outline, I’ll have one sentence describing the action in general, then I close my eyes and picture it in detail while I’m typing. Since I’ve already worked out the general idea of what’s going on, I can focus on putting what I imagine into words without having to figure out what happens next.

4) Example time! This is from the notebook where I outlined my baker!Johnny Spideytorch AU fic.

- J goes home and crashes early. Wakes up haunted by the pop tarts. He really likes Peter. Can’t imagine why the guy eats pop tarts. As well as the other unhealthy food in his apartment. How does he stay so trim and fit-looking eating like that? - He paces around, thinking of all the things he likes about Peter. He hopes the guy’s proximity to SM isn’t subconsciously part of it. - Calls Sue. “He eats pop tarts! He has no discerning taste whatsoever! I have money, my own successful business, great cars, great hair, and I’m very attractive. I could have anyone. Why do I want a guy who eats crap?” S: “Johnny... it’s three in the morning.” J: “Come on, Sue, Please!” S: “Just... just ask the guy out already and let me go back to sleep.” - Johnny paces restless until he decides to go fly around & burn off steam.

This scene is at the end of Chapter 3 of the fic, so you can see how it looked after I typed it and fleshed it out. (Just scroll right on down there.)

Writing the outline, I work in little bits at a time when I can. When I’m typing it up it goes much faster, so the whole thing flows together better in general because I’ll remember to reference things that just happened. Such as Johnny’s reflecting on how Peter’s face lit up when he was talking about his students. The previous scene had to end where it did due to pacing, but I wanted to put that snippet in to give an idea on how the rest of the conversation went without making it boring to read.

(Because “show, don’t tell” as an absolutely unbreakable rule? Is bullshit. People reading this fic don’t care about the minutiae of Peter’s job, unless something very specific and relevant to the story overall is happening. They care how he feels about it, and how Johnny feels when he watches Peter talk about it. So I “tell” about Peter talking about his job, and it’s less boring because we can focus on Peter and Johnny together. But that’s a completely different essay topic. We’re talking about outlining.)

Of course, I also end up screwing future!me over big time by writing shit like: “--Show their attraction better.” I’ll be reading my outline two weeks later and be like “??? i know you were on break at work when you wrote that scene but!! you jerk!!! how dare you do this to me!!”

[traincat]

opinions on the new taylor swift album (in terms of spider-man ships) ? 👀👀

YES okay yes I have lots of thoughts. One of my favorite things is when a new Taylor Swift album comes out and I get to decide which songs are what Spider-Man ships. I did a twitter thread about this when the album first came out, which has my initial reactions, but I’ve had time to sit with it now, so let’s dive back in:

the 1: first reading is this is a Peter/Felicia post-breakup. But we were something, don't you think so?/Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/And if my wishes came true/It would've been you.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #112)

However, I think Taylor Swift’s oeuvre is one especially good for applying to One More Day from Mary Jane’s point of view (New Year’s Day, anyone?) and the 1 doesn’t let us down here.  

I have this dream you're doing cool shit/Having adventures on your own/You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home/We never painted by the numbers, baby/But we were making it count/You know the greatest loves of all time are over now. (ASM #561)

cardigan: My first impression was that this is like the ultimate college years Peter/MJ/Gwen song -- leaning slightly more towards the GwenMJ leg of the love triangle/threesome -- and I have not changed on that front. Sequin smile, black lipstick/Sensual politics/When you are young, they assume you know nothing? A friend to all is a friend to none/Chase two girls, lose the one?? 'Cause I knew you/Stepping on the last train/Marked me like a bloodstain???  Tried to change the ending/Peter losing (G)Wendy?????????????

You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding/”She saw through the party girl mask I always wore. Saw the frightened, abused kid inside.” (Marvel 1000)

the last great american dynasty: this one’s a little too biographical to work for a Spider-Man ship but I think it could be a good women of Spider-Man song. The maddest woman this town has ever seen etc etc. Alternatively it’s for the version of canon where Doc Ock marries May for her nuclear power plant inheritance and then she turns the tables and poisons him for his criminal empire. good for her.

exile: look, this is a love triangle tragic breakup song, and Spider-Man is the king of both of these things. I’m going to make a call and say that exile, while I think it’s both an excellent PeterFelicia and PeterMJ, leans towards PeterMJ after MJ rejects his first proposal, when they’re seeing other people but everyone keeps trying to get them back together. I can see you starin', honey/Like he's just your understudy/Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me/Second, third, and hundredth chances/Balancin' on breaking branches/Those eyes add insult to injury.

The dueling narration of 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) and I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) is a pretty perfect early PeterMJ summary.

my tears ricochet: okay okay okay so my tears ricochet + mad woman are my ideal “Gwen Stacy gets a resurrection revenge narrative ala Bucky Barnes and Jason Todd” song duo. And if I'm on fire/You'll be made of ashes, too.

mirrorball: Taylor Swift released THE definitive Mary Jane Watson song in 2020. We are talking about the feminine art of performance, we are talking about masks, we are talking about trauma baby!!! I want you to know/I'm a mirrorball/I can change everything about me to fit in/You are not like the regulars/The masquerade revelers/Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.

I've never been a natural/All I do is try, try, try (ASM #143)

We are ALSO thinking about Mary Jane’s iconic mirrored mini dress from ASM #59. An entire Mary Jane anthem.

seven: this song CRIES OUT for childhood friends, which Spider-Man is a bit lacking in, what with the entire friend group coming together in college, but in my head it belongs to a version of canon where Gwen and Mary Jane were friends as children and lost touch with each other. alternatively, it’s the Peter/Flash childhood friends song, since they’re as close as we get to childhood friends in canon, and also because these lyrics in conjunction with that make me want to cry: And I've been meaning to tell you/I think your house is haunted/Your dad is always mad and that must be why/And I think you should come live with/Me and we can be pirates/Then you won't have to cry.

Also, “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” makes me cry thinking about longform storytelling like superhero comics so like that’s fun. A real Spidey fivesome sort of feeling.

august: I’ve been thinking about it, and I think this is a Peter/Betty set during their initial romantic relationship. Your back/Beneath the sun/Wishing I could write my name on it/Will you call when you're back at school?/I remember thinking I had you.

this is me trying: A FLASH THOMPSON SONG. Like, I think “I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that” is a big PeterMJ sentiment during several key points of their relationship, but overall the vibe of this song is a Flash. Probably a Peter/Flash, while we’re at it. 

illicit affairs: okay, in my heart, I want this to be another Peter/Betty, because the point in canon where they’re sleeping together behind Ned’s back is just so sexy of them, and it’s a favorite fictional extramarital affair. However, I also don’t feel like this song is straight enough as its core to be about them. I also feel like “and you want to scream don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby” is a BIG Gwen Stacy mood. So I’m kind of leaning towards an MJ/Gwen affair while PeterGwen is happening. Which would also be very fun of them all. I think at a push we could also make this a Peter/Flash while Flash is seeing Sha Shan, if we wanted to warp canon around to have a good time. What I’m saying is Spider-Man should have a few more affairs in its body of canon. For the song.

mad woman: I mentioned this up with my tears ricochet but we’re going to say AGAIN for the people in the BACK: this is a Gwen Stacy jam. If they were ever to make an extremely good movie about resurrected Gwen on a murderous revenge spree, this song should be playing in it. What do you sing on your drive home?/Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn?/Does she smile?/Or does she mouth "fuck you forever"?

(Spider-Island: Deadly Foes) Also, not that the Gwen clones get like, full narratives or are allowed to be their own individual characters like the Peter clones (it’s the misogyny) but if they were, mad woman would be such a good Gwen clone song. No one likes a mad woman/You made her like that.

epiphany: this is very rare for me in Taylor Swift’s discography, but I think this is really a Peter solo song. 

Crawling up the beaches now/Sir I think he’s bleeding out (Peter Parker #89)

betty: You have no idea how badly I wanted this to be a Peter/Betty, but it is just not. I think there’s a version of Spider-Man high school canon though where this is a Betty/Liz. 

peace: This album is light on Taylor Swift Spideytorch hits -- previous examples including Love Story and Call It What You Want To, among many others -- but peace is such a Spideytorch. But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm/If your cascade ocean wave blues come/All these people think love's for show/But I would die for you in secret/The devil's in the details/But you got a friend in me/Would it be enough/If I could never give you peace?

(ASM #790) @bipeteparker said that Johnny COULD give Peter peace but they’re dramatic, so it works, and I stand by that, but I also like it with the juxtaposition of their lives -- Johnny being so famous and such a public figure and Peter having eschewed that life by keeping the mask on. 

hoax: and we’re closing the album the same way we started! I think there are various Spider-Man readings you could do, but my big two are PeterFelicia and PeterMJ -- both with the lens of the post-One More Day deal and how that altered both of their relationships with him. 

Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in (ASM #16HU)

My only one/My kingdom come undone (ASM #545)

[traincat]

not to be a big bitter bitch but like, i'm seeing a bunch of articles about tom holland being "open" to the idea of spider-man being gay, and comparing that to that recent travesty of an interview, it just feels.... hollow. like, we can imagine him being gay but not jewish? really?

also obviously no one has a monopoly on the idea but Andrew Garfield Did It First Y'all

I was on mobile the past two days and wanted to wait until I wasn’t tapping out replies on my phone, but in a word: yeah. I’m going to sum up why I personally feel Tom Holland’s comment on the possibility of a gay Spider-Man is different than Andrew Garfield’s, starting with the context of the given quotes.

First off, literally all Tom Holland said was that “of course” he would be okay with a gay Spider-Man when he was asked about it. He went on to elaborate a little bit, and the whole thing is very diplomatic and more than a little vague: 

“I can’t talk about the future of the character because honestly I don’t know and it’s out of my hands. But I do know a lot about the future of Marvel, and they are going to be representing lots of different people in the next few years.”

This, to me, seems like a careful and diplomatic response to the question given the massive backlash the MCU has gotten over its lack of representation, particularly the Endgame “gay Joe Russo” debacle and the cutting of Tessa Thompson’s bisexual Valkyrie scene, and also in response to the discussion that the Andrew Garfield controversy generated. I can’t say for certain whether or not this question would be asked if Andrew Garfield hadn’t so vocally spoken out in favor of exploring Peter Parker’s sexuality in film – and then gotten so much backlash both from fans, and, he’s since revealed, push back from the studio – but I do think it’s less likely it would have come up.

Let me be totally clear: I think this comment from Tom Holland is nice. It’s well-spoken, polite, and it’s good that he’s publicly supportive of the idea. But also, despite what a lot of his fans like to think, Tom Holland is not “just a kid” – he is a 23-year-old professional actor, and this is not his first press tour. “Tom Holland Says Spider-Man Can’t Be Gay” is a PR nightmare. So faced with this question, this was about the only answer he could give without more massive backlash against the MCU for its lack of representation 20+ films in. So it’s nice. It’s well-worded. Hopefully it means something to kids who are only familiar with this actor’s iteration of Spider-Man who want to see themselves represented on screen. I’m not putting Tom Holland down as a person or a public figure here, but I am saying this is nothing to write home about compared to some other attempts to drum up representation by even other MCU actors. This kind of reply should be the minimum people should expect from someone in the public eye in 2019.

Again, let me stress the point that this question was put to Tom Holland in an interview. Andrew Garfield brought this up on his own to producers, director Marc Webb, and to Entertainment Weekly. 

“I was kind of joking, but kind of not joking about MJ,” he tells EW. “And I was like, ‘What if MJ is a dude?’ Why can’t we discover that Peter is exploring his sexuality?  It’s hardly even groundbreaking!…So why can’t he be gay? Why can’t he be into boys?”

(He also wanted Michael B. Jordan to play his love interest in the third film and every day I think about this and how my Spideytorch beliefs are validated by the universe.)

Much like Andrew Garfield’s comments on Spider-Man being Jewish (more on that in a minute), there’s no evidence that anyone asked him these questions so much as he just went off on his own – and got a lot of backlash for them:

“I worked harder than I’ve ever worked on anything and I’m really proud of it,” he says, “but I didn’t feel represented. There was an interview I gave where I said, ‘Why can’t Peter explore his bisexuality in his next film? Why can’t [his girlfriend] MJ be a guy?’ I was then put under a lot of pressure to retract that and apologise for saying something that is a legitimate thing to think and feel. So I said, ‘OK, so you want me to make sure that we get the bigots and the homophobes to buy their tickets?’” 

It’s unlikely Tom Holland is going to face that kind of studio backlash for his comments, because he didn’t make them out of nowhere – he responded politely, positively, and just a tad evasively (”it’s out of my hands”) to a question that was put to him. He didn’t come out swinging, and in light of the backlash against the MCU and Andrew Garfield’s honestly about the pressure he was put under to apologize for his own opinions, it’s pretty unlikely Marvel Studios wants to look bad by making their bright-eyed star go back on the record all, “no, sorry, no gay Spider-Man here, I thought you said DAY Spider-Man.” And we at the very least partially have Andrew Garfield being honest and vocal, both about his vision for a canonically bisexual Peter Parker who is allowed to explore that on film and about the pressure he was put under to apologize following those comments, to thank for that, so it feels inappropriate in light of that to celebrate Tom Holland’s comment without at least mentioning Andrew Garfield no matter how one personally feels about either film franchise. It’s definitely weird to take memes like this one and paste Tom Holland’s name over it in light of the fact that he’s received maybe a teeny tiny fraction of the backlash Andrew Garfield got, if that. I don’t, for the record, believe the theory that The Amazing Spider-Man franchise was canceled solely because of Andrew Garfield’s above comments – the Sony leaks were kind of a big deal, and TASM2 didn’t perform as well as desired at the box office, so Marvel Studios was prime to swoop in with their deal  – but even just in terms of making jokes, it’s a bit in bad taste when Tom Holland definitely isn’t getting fired over this one.

And again, the sentiment that Tom Holland would be okay with a gay Spider-Man is nice, I’m not saying it’s not, and it’s good that he voiced his support, but it is the bare minimum, and when he was blindsided by the idea of a Jewish Spider-Man in a Wired video, he was visibly confused, said, “I don’t think he is,” and never voiced his support for that idea or for more Jewish representation in superhero films, Spider-Man or not. Leaving aside the fact that Spider-Man was created by a Jewish man, that Andrew Garfield was also very vocal about recognizing his own Jewish heritage and identity within the character, and that in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Peter B. Parker has Jewish wedding on screen, and so the only way Tom Holland could not have considered this possibility is if he read literally no widely circulated press about other iterations of the character he plays ever, it was a bad look. It would have been easy to say “I didn’t consider that before but now I will,” or something along those lines. (I have a longer post about that and why the problem isn’t a lack of knowledge of Spider-Man’s Jewish history but a lack of consideration of it here.) But he didn’t. So some forms of representation for Spider-Man  are okay, but others haven’t merited the time it takes to think about or a polite and considerate reply. Got it.

[traincat]

Dear Traincat, I am a big fan of your work who only recently stopped lurking. I just wanted to say I not only admire your writing, but the care and respect you have for the characters you write. (Also, as a huge fan of Johnny, Stormcast is everything to me) Recently, I have wanted to try my hand at writing Spideytorch, and wondered: what do you think are some of the most important character traits for those two that aren't explicitly stated in comics? I just need some help getting in their heads

Wow, thank you so much! That means a lot. And thank you for listening to Stormcast! Yuuhy and I love it, but I don’t think either of us actually expected that people would listen, so it is very, very cool to hear that they do. Also oh my god yes hi please write Spideytorch I need more fic to read.

As for traits, here are some. For the record I think these are all pretty strongly present in the comics, but they’re stuff that I feel either gets overlooked or is a little harder to spot if you’re not looking too hard.

Peter

I don’t actually think Peter Parker actually has self-esteem issues beyond like, the average man. He’s extremely confident in his intelligence and in his physical abilities. He’s canonically stated that if he had to, he thinks he could kill the Hulk. The Hulk. What he does have is a very New York self-deprecating sense of humor and a neurotic tendency to blame himself for everything, turning him into the world’s worst critic of his own personality.

Similarly, he’s rarely afraid. I mean, why should he be? He can shrug off having a building dropped on him, fight off an entire crowd with one hand tied behind his back, and he has a personal alarm system that warns him of danger. 

This isn’t explicitly stated but it is, I think, explicitly shown: he’s a very tactile person with his friends and family. He’s also very, very physically affectionate with his significant other. He’s also a very protective person with his friends – I was reading Venom (2011) recently, which stars Flash Thompson, Peter’s high school bully turned one of his best friends, and during every Emotional Thompson Family scene I was like, why is this random brunet man here, and then I realized it was not a random brunet man, it was Peter, because why wouldn’t Peter be there while Flash’s mom checks into therapy! Why not! 

A Peter Thing TM that I love is that when he’s really, truly angry, he drops the jokes.

Peter Parker holds himself as the ultimate authority. Not the police, not any various above the government agencies, not any other superhero. Himself. When he shifts this view, it tends to go very wrong for him, partially because when things do go wrong, he has someone beyond himself to blame. (Civil War, etc.)

Peter honestly enjoys Spider-Man’s antagonistic relationship with J Jonah Jameson and likes JJJ as a person, even if he frequently wants to strangle him. Similarly, he loves everyone at the Bugle. 

Johnny

Johnny Storm is a geek. Between the two of them, he’s the one I think is far more into pop culture. Shows he mentions watching include Buffy, Twin Peaks, and Star Trek. (He even cites Star Trek filming trivia.) In a Top Picks article once for “favorite movies” he picked two fictional scifi/fantasty films and Titanic. 

He just wants to find true love. Honestly like I’ve been trying to figure out where his Rep comes from but I think he like, self-perpetuated it around the time he said he went through girls like “water through a sieve” when he’d had. Three girlfriends. Total. In canon at the time. I also think he has trouble divorcing physical intimacy from emotional. (I do think he had an intense fling period ... but it started after the incredibly traumatic break-up of his marriage.)

On a similar note, he defines his own worth by 1) his powers, 2) his celebrity, and 3) his desirability. 

He loves his powers but he hates the idea of his powers being used to hurt innocent people. He also doesn’t seem to like it when other people get very violent – I’ve got panels in my refs of him holding back Ben and Peter and asking Sue to stop when she’s threatening the Wizard. In general he’s a pretty gentle person. 

I’m having trouble thinking of Johnny Points I haven’t already brought up, I’m sorry! 

I think when writing them (in a non-AU context) what I try to keep in mind first and foremost is the depth of their history and their connection with each other, the ways their personalities compliment each other, and the incredible amount of affection they have for each other. I hope this helps!

[traincat]

I love the gifset you reblogged with Pete and Gwen! I was just wondering what was wrong(?) with the Homecoming review you mentioned in your tags? What are your thoughts on Homecoming? :) Anyways love your blog and your writing! Have a great day!

Thank you! So I have somewhat unsuccessfully attempted not to be Really Negative about Homecoming, except on twitter where I’ve clearly given up altogether, but heads up: I’m about to be pretty negative because I care way too much about Peter Parker. My opinions are my own, etc. Right off the bat: I actually do think Spider-Man: Homecoming is going to be a fun summer movie. It’s probably well-written and engaging! It looks like a good movie about a teenage superhero coming into his own and I’m excited about the diverse cast. 

It also, in my own opinion, looks like a terrible movie about Peter Parker.

There was nothing wrong with the review (it was in USA Today) so much as that literally everything it described made me, a person who loves Peter Parker, cringe. Full disclaimer that I haven’t seen Homecoming yet and it’s plausible I might like it in the end! I won’t, but it’s plausible! So everything I’m talking about is based on interviews with the cast and creators/trailers and released scenes/etc. 

But I’ve got so much beef with this movie I practically own a cattle ranch. 

I’m just going to try to hit my main complaints: Ned Leeds, or, This Should Have Been a Miles Morales Movie, Peter as a New Yorker, Peter Parker vs Spider-Man: A Fake Argument, and Why We Actually Do Need To Know How Ben Died, Thanks. “Traincat, how much have you thought about this?” I don’t want to talk about it! Except I do, under the cut:

1) Ned Leeds. This has been pointed out before, but it bears repeating until all my metaphorical cows come home: Homecoming��s “Ned Leeds” is literally Ganke Lee, Miles Morales’ best friend. Look at Ganke. Now look at 616 Ned. Back to Ganke. Yeah. He looks like him, and he appears to act like him from the little we’ve seen. “Ned” knows Peter is Spider-Man, the way Ganke knows Miles is Spider-Man. Ned is enthusiastic about Peter being Spider-Man, the way Ganke is. Ned’s playing with Legos in a Homecoming trailer, Ganke loves Legos, etc. They didn’t even try to hide the fact that they stole a major Miles Morales character for the benefit of a Peter Parker movie. 

It’s possible Ned Leeds will resemble Ned Leeds more closely when the movie comes out, in which case I look forward to Spider-Man 3: Still At Home, where Peter passionately makes out with Ned’s wife and then Ned dies in Germany. But I have my doubts about that.

One of my problems is that I, personally, am not particularly interested in Peter Parker in high school. (WHERE is the movie where he is 30, teaching high school, and played by Alfie Enoch? I want it. You want it. We all want it. Look at him. He’s perfect.) If we’re going to do a teenage Spider-Man, why NOT Miles Morales, who IS the Spider-Man currently in high school, and who HAS been a kid since his introduction several years ago. Peter graduated high school in Amazing Spider-Man #28. There are over 700+ issues of Amazing Spider-Man alone. It’s time to leave the idea of Peter Parker as a character perpetually in high school behind.

BUT, if we were going to make a Teen Peter Parker movie, make it actually about Peter, because the way this is marketed (the gaming laptop commercial? The Audi one where he’s taking a driver’s test? The banking quiz? I cannot think of anything that screams Spider-Man less than German automobiles) sure looks like this is a movie about Relatable Teen Hero Boy-Man, who may be a good kid but he’s not Peter Parker, and who is here to sell you, the viewer, some stuff.

(I cannot believe consumerism giveth the Spider-Mobile, and consumerism taketh it away.)

2) New York! Where I am typing this post from, actually! True story: I never would have even read this review, but my mom read it and to quote: “There’s going to be a problem. Aunt May drives him around.” NAH. N A H. Listen, I know people in New York have cars. I know people in Queens have cars. I know this so well that I have my aunt’s car, which before me sat in a parking lot in Queens 360 days out of the year. Almost any scene you could tell in a regular car, you could tell in a subway car. Also, you can see Washington DC in the trailer, which means that at some point the movie is going to take Peter out of New York, a move I cannot possibly see the point to. I’m going to be an Obnoxious New Yorker for a hot second: Other superheroes might live in New York, but Peter Parker is New York. He has to have a relationship with the city itself. This is one of the things I think The Amazing Spider-Man movies did wonderfully: looking at New York actually felt like looking at New York. The scene with the crane operators, the webbed I LOVE YOU, Gwen’s fire escape, or when he jaywalks through traffic in Union Square. The big fight in Times Square. Homecoming already didn’t FEEL like New York from the trailers and now a chunk of the movie isn’t even taking place in it? Aunt May’s going to drive her nephew around? What’s the point? Why would you strip the New Yorker (”fuck you” means “have a nice day”) from a superhero defined by it? 

(PS it’s because Peter is a heavily Jewish-coded character and taking the New Yorker out of him makes him less so. See also, down below, the removal of his guilt/responsibility complex.)

3) He’s Just Always Spider-Man, Guys. The USA Today review also includes a quote from Tom Holland about how “Spider-Man is not Peter Parker” and they’ve “made quite a clear divide between the two” and not to be shady but I think the biggest mistake people make when writing Peter Parker is thinking that there’s ANY difference between Peter and Spider-Man, except that sometimes he has to pretend like lifting the couch takes any effort. He’s always Spider-Man. The kind of confidence you get from being able to throw a Jeep, or crush steel pipes with your bare hands? That doesn’t go away just because you take off a mask. It’s a shallow take. Peter, as a character, isn’t a very reliable narrator of his own personality – you have to look at his actions. Don’t get distracted by his jokes. There’s no divide.

This ties into my problems with the apparently heavy presence of Iron Man – the review calls him a “reluctant father figure” to Peter – beyond my disbelief over not trusting Spider-Man of all characters to carry his own movie. I understand that the MCU is as built over RDJ’s portrayal of Tony Stark as the 616 Universe is built on the legacy of the Fantastic Four, but one of the things I keep in mind when writing Peter is that he doesn’t truly respect anyone else’s authority but his own. As soon as that spider bit him, that was it, he was his own ultimate authority. And now he’s the “Kid Avenger” and Iron Man is making all his tech? Why, when Captain America: Civil War went out of its way to highlight that he’s a tech genius? Why the effort to make Peter Parker less than he is? Oh, right, Relatable Teen Hero Boy-Man. As an advertiser’s daughter, I don’t like being so OBVIOUSLY sold “Spider-Man! He’s just like you! Buy an Audi.” 

4) Ben Parker Must Die. Uncle Ben’s death won’t be shown in the movie, they said! HUZZAH, a million voices cried out, drowning out my own cries of, BUT HOW DO I KNOW WHO PETER PARKER IS IF I DON’T KNOW THE EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES OF BEN PARKER’S DEATH.

But this is fine, I said. This is okay. You don’t need to show Ben Parker’s death to feel the impact of it, of course! A skillful storyteller can get around that easily! 

Yeah uh so Ben’s death isn’t going to have a large impact on Peter in the movie at all, apparently, which is AN ISSUE when this is THE defining moment. 

From this article: 

As for why Ben was left out, Watts says he wanted to go all out on focusing on how awesome it would be to become Spider-Man, going from a geeky teen to possessing superhuman powers. Dealing with the fact that Peter is partially guilty for a loved one’s death would have put the dampers on that. 

Cool cool cool so you wanted the power and you didn’t want the responsibility. To quote tumblr user myvisagewasted: “Literally the thematic point of Spider-Man is that if you can shatter someone’s face, you GOTTA put a damper on that” and I 10000% agree. Peter, in 616, was initially selfish with his powers. He was an angry teenager who declared he’d only take care of his aunt and his uncle, and that “the rest of the world can go hang.” The Uncle Ben dies, and Peter starts to change. Putting “dampers” on the awesomeness of suddenly being as strong as forty men is called character development, and stripping the guilt complex from Peter is, whether intentional or not, further attempts to hide the character’s Jewish coding. You don’t have to dwell on how much of an impact Ben Parker’s death made on Peter, but I do strongly believe you cannot brush it off because it wouldn’t be fun. 

(Ask me about murder lovebirds Spideytorch, or, What If? Uncle Ben’s Death Didn’t Change Peter.)

How Ben dies also matters with regards to who Peter is – for example, in Spider-Man Noir, Ben dies before Peter becomes Spider-Man, and he isn’t shot but rather ripped to shreds and partially eaten by the Vulture. As a result, Noir!Peter is PRETTY COOL with guns and shooting people, whereas 616 Peter has an extreme aversion. If there’s no specifics about Ben’s death, how do we know who Peter is?

Anyway I also believe Peter isn’t his fully formed self until he feels partially responsible for the deaths of three loved ones, so. There’s that. (George Stacy Or Appropriate George Stacy Stand-In Also Must Die.)

Anyway, this has been Traincat’s Unpopular Spider-Man Opinions, the Homecoming edition, thank you for reading, I’m still gonna see the movie because I love Liz Allan and I am Doing It For Her. And also to see if I was right about 10 different theories. Send in the clones.