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crehador · 2 years ago
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brother crab's 2023 seasonals in review: winter
there were some bonkers good series this year, and i apparently watched or am watching... 75 of them! what the hell lmao let's see what stood out to me in winter
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revenger and benriya saitou-san, isekai ni iku were the two gems for me, and ironically i didn't follow either as it aired. both were very bingeable and if it had had just... a slightly less unsatisfactory ending... revenger would've been an easy anime of the season pick for me
but alas, with the ending revenger does have, i'd say it's a tie with saitou-san, which really gets a boost from its surprisingly uhhh poignant dog ate penis arc
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in terms of sequels (which i tend to weigh separately from anime originals or new adaptations) everything was pretty good, we had bsd s4, tsurune s2, gokushufudou s2, and the vampire dies in no time s2
tsurune s2 gets the win for best sequel of the season for me, if only because it provided some of my new favorite seiya moments
quickfire thoughts on some others:
ooyukiumi no kaina wound up being a little bit of a disappointment after some beautiful and fascinating worldbuilding in the first episode
high card was decent enough for me to add the upcoming season to planning but the team dynamics haven't really grabbed me yet
koori zokusei danshi to cool na douryou joshi was some mild cute fun but the pacing felt really wonky at times, and it was swiftly outclassed by watakon later in the year
tomo-chan wa onnanoko! was not terribly memorable, but i did appreciate that it was a full/complete adaptation
shuumatsu no vlkyrie ii also originally released this season, but i didn't binge the whole thing until later this year. it's a banger they got gyaru buddha here what more can i say
the idol series of the season, technoroid and uniteup, were both fine. fun! but besides like one anela song neither series had me looping any music
speaking of music
op of the season goes to tristamp and ed of the season goes to nier, absolutely no contest (which is very refreshing because it's usually so difficult for me to pick lol)
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uhh... what else would be good to include... otp of the season? might not always have one but raizou &/ usui (revenger) briefly had me by the balls for sure lmao
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months ago
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butterflygirl738 (3)
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, power imbalance, sickness, medical bills, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You love butterflies and your mother, but life isn’t that simple. As life gets complicated, and expensive, you find yourself in need and an unexpected miracle presents itself.
Characters: Steve Rogers (CEO/Sugar Daddy)
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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You stand behind the dumpster. Frozen. The world stacks on your chest. The bills, the doctors, your managers, the butterflies... Everything, from big to small. All of it feels insurmountable. You don’t think you can go on much longer. Not like this. Not on your own.
This is something. Help. Are you too hopeful? Too desperate? So what if you are. This isn’t about your life, it’s about your mom’s.
How many nights have you laid away dreaming of an easy out. Of any crumb of help. Of some sort of relief. This might not be it but you can’t just wave it away.
You click the link. It prompts you to install WhatsApp. You pace in circles as you wait for the pubic wi-fi to download the app. When that’s done, you’re redirected to add a contact; ‘S’. Hm. Mysterious.
You accept and a message blips up.
‘Can I call?’
Your heart jumps. You’re doing this. Doing what? It’s a call. You shake your head and send a thumbs up. Stop shaking.
The call pops up, chiming from the speakers. You fumble and answer, mindless noises squeaking from your throat. You steady the phone and peek out around the bins. Another car draws up to the window.
“Hello? Everything okay?” The deep voice startles you.
You grip the cell and clear your throat, “sorry, I... I never used this before.”
“Hm, that’s alright,” he assures. His timbre is calm and even. That’s so soothing.
“Uh, hi?” You say awkwardly and retreat to hide again. “Um...”
Silence radiates from the speaker. He sniffs.
“Um, how are the butterflies?” He asks.
You blink and look back and forth. “My butterflies?”
“Sure, they come out yet?”
“Oh, uh... no...”
You chew your lip. He doesn’t sound like your typical watcher. You get those aesthetic blogs with girly moodboards or crafting how-tos. He’s a man. And he sounds older. Not old, just older than you.
“Right,” he takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m thinking right now and I don’t think this is something we should talk about over the phone.”
“Huh? Oh?” You sputter in confusion. “Sure. Erm. Thank you.” You put your hand to your chest. “You’re very generous but if you changed your mind--"
“No, I haven’t,” he says firmly. “What I want to say I would like to say to you. In person.”
You laugh, more out of surprise than amusement. “Well, uh, that’s... no, I don’t know. I live... in the middle of nowhere. That’s not possible.”
“I’ll come to you.” He insists.
You stop shuffling around and hum. He’s quiet as you think. Obviously, it’s not smart to meet strangers on the internet.
“You pick the place. Neutral ground.” He suggests.
“Well, you know, I have two jobs and I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You wiggle your nose awkwardly and cringe. “I should really give you that money back.”
“Keep it.” He says. “I’m willing to negotiate. I’ll give you access to my location so you know where I am. Everything’s on the up and up.”
“Oh, oh,” you eke out nervously. Your mom would be screaming at you. What did I tell you about the internet? But that was when you were young. Just a teenager. You’re an adult now.
“There’s another ten on the table if you just talk.” He offers.
You nearly trip. You let out and oop and catch yourself on the dumpster. The smell of the contents adds to the roiling of your stomach.
“Ten?” You murmur.
“Ten grand.”
“How-- oh, that’s a lot of money.”
“I’d pay more.”
That statement takes your breath away. You look down at your beaten up sneakers. You ground your heel into the ground.
“But why?”
“Like I said, I want to discuss it face-to-face,” he says. “It doesn’t feel right like this so... you send me the location where you want to meet. Send me a date and time. And check the chat.”
“Pardon?” You utter.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he says abruptly as something scuffs on his end. “I gotta go.”
He hangs up. You stand stunned in silence. You pull the phone away from your face and look down at the screen. Another link. You tap it without a second thought. Shoot, you probably shouldn’t have.
The browser opens a page; a notice at the bottom that says the app work better. Just another thing to download. Above the banner is a map and a flashing dot. You squint and zoom in.
Your brow furrows. You make a goofy face and scoff. New York? Oh wow.
You quickly exit out of all the windows and put your phone away. You inhale and let it out slow. You slink out from behind the dumpsters and head towards home. You’ll take your time and think. You always enjoyed a nice walk, especially when your mom came along.
🦋
“Whatcha thinking of, pie?” Your mom asks suddenly.
You lift your head and open your eyes. You barely remember sitting down. Even just getting home. After back-to-back shifts, you’re worn out. You feel like a sheet hanging in the sun. Each day that hollowness grows.
“Oh, nothing,” you lie. You think of the only thing you’ve been able to think of for the last day.
She nods but you can see she doesn’t buy it. You shrug and clasp your hands together. “Just work. They’re cutting back on labour for the summer.”
“That’s too bad,” she says. “I’m sure you’ll still get hours.”
But not enough...
“I put out an application at the computer reseller,” you say. “But he didn’t seem very impressed. Maybe the coffee place? Couple hours in the morning.”
“Oh, honey,” your mom frowns. “You need a break. You’re always working.”
“I’m fine, mom,” you say.
No, you’re tired. You’re exhausted to the bone and yet when you lay down at night, you can’t sleep. All you can do is lay there and think about doom. About how it’ll be your fault when she dies.
You stand up suddenly at that thought. You try not to let it in. You shudder and cross the room.
“Pie?” Her voice piques with alarm.
“Sorry, mom, I don’t know... I just... I feel like I forgot something,” you shake off the tension. Or try to.
“Ha, I know that feeling,” she says. “While you’re up...”
“Tea?” You offer. She nods. “Alright.”
You go into the kitchen. You flip on the electric kettle and grip the edge of the counter. You lean on it and hang your head. You suck back a wave of tears. You will never forgive yourself if you don’t do everything you possibly can to save her.
You wait until the click. You pour hot water over the ginger and lemon tea bag and take it out to your mom. “It’s hot.” You put it on a coaster. “I remembered what I forgot.”
“Oh?” She wonders.
“I didn’t talk to the building manager about the water. The bathroom sink is still spitting out rust.”
“Ah, right,” she nods.
“I won’t be long,” you say. “I’m just going to fill out a form and leave it in the slot.”
“Be safe,” she calls after you.
You swipe up your phone and hurry to the door. As you step into the hall, guilt scalds around your neck. You don’t lie to your mom. Ever. She doesn’t need anything else to worry about.
You head downstairs. It’s not really a lie if you make it true. You grab one of the forms from the building office and take it with you outside. You fold it up and tuck it in your pocket. You’ll put it in tomorrow morning before work.
You follow your phone signal down the street. Finally, a network pops up. The overpriced knick knack boutique has free wi-fi, who would have guessed?
Self-awareness sets in. You look around the dark streets. You open up WhatsApp. You think, biting the tip of your tongue as you do.
It has to be somewhere far from home but not too far that you can’t get there. And it has to be between the appointments and work. Ugh. Okay. You got it.
You type in the place and time. A week isn’t too soon? He’s probably busy. He sounds important. You can only guess. You don’t know anything about him. That’s a sobering realisation but you already hit send.
The reply chimes loudly in the quiet night. That’s quick.
‘I’ll be there.’
Simple. To the point. A complete answer that answers nothing at all. What are you doing?
🦋
You place the coffee on the table and sit. You stare at the dark brew. It’s the cheapest size and roast, but that flicker of guilt remains. You could use that two bucks for something better. Even after that generous donation, you’re still in the red.
You check your phone quickly. The last message was about an hour ago. ‘We’re still good?’ and you confirmed. ‘See ya then’.
You cross one foot over the other, your toe wiggling anxiously. You watch the brim of the cup. You put your phone next to it and look out the window. A woman passes by with her stroller and another child dancing around at her side. You smile.
You sit back and check the clock above the counter. Each number is a coffee bean. It’s cute.
The place is busy. The door jingles between the voices of customers and employees. The grind of the machines and puffs of steams are near constant.
You chose the place deliberately. Partly out of embarrassment. You didn’t want to meet him at a chain place. You thought he might judge you for that. Well, you are begging for money online. It doesn’t really matter.
You put your hands on the side of the mug. The warmth does not comfort you. Your stomach is tangling in on itself. You should have got tea. You don’t know if you can handle caffeine right now.
The clock ticks past the hour. He’s late. That’s alright. He doesn’t know the town. He could be lost. You could check his location... no, you haven't dared to do that. It feels like a violation.
Or this could all be a cruel joke. You cringe. Did you just waste your own time?
It’s only two minutes.
A kid jostles by your table and your chair jerks as their toe catches. They sprawl over the floor and their mother shrieks their name. You get up and kneel by the lanky third grader.
“Woah, you okay?” You ask as he sits up and rubs his elbow.
“Oweee,” he grimaces.
“Are you bleeding?”
“No,” he pouts. “I’m okay.”
“Here,” you offer your hand.
You help him up. His mom comes over in a huff. “Liam!”
“He’s okay,” you say. “Just a bruise.”
“Oh, thanks. I’m so sorry about him.” She sends him the mom eyes.
“It’s fine. He’s just a kid.”
She harrumphs and grabs Liam by the arm, “come on. You can wait to have your cookie.”
You back up and turn to the table. Your coffee sloshed in the chaos and a puddle surrounds the base. You go to grab napkins from the counter. As you mop up the mess, a chair scrapes. You look up as a blond man stands. He picks up the tall mug and heads in your direction.
“Here,” he opens his hand as he approaches. “I’ll throw that out for you.”
You stare at him in confusion. You recognise his voice. You hand over the wadded napkin dumbly and gape. He brushes by and goes to toss the bunched tissue.
He returns and gestures to your seat. You sit and he puts his cup across from yours. “You need a refill?”
You shake your head. He sits and pushes his shoulders wide. You watch him. You remember him coming in. He’s hard to miss. Tall, broad shoulders, neat hair, and a pair of dark aviators. He wears jeans and a sage linen button-up.
“I’m sorry,” he begins. “I was watching you.” He looks around. “Can never be too sure who you meet on the internet.”
You nod. “Wait... how do you know it’s me?”
He looks down and points at your wrist. “You wore that in a video. You were showing of that monarch and I remember the bracelet.”
You look at the charm dangling from your wrist. You blink.
“Right,” you say.
“You know, most people wouldn’t have been so helpful with that kid.” He says.
“Oh, uh, stuff happens. No one was hurt,” you shrug and twine your fingers together. “Um...”
“So...” he fills the void. “Do I call you butterflygirl738 or do you prefer something else?”
You give a tight-lipped smile. You’re here. He’s here. No going back now.
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eyelessfaces · 11 months ago
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just in case
poe dameron x reader
summary: while fiddling with bb–8's memory, you stumble onto an audio message– poe's prerecorded goodbyes.
based on @ivystoryweaver's headcanon on this post! thank you for allowing me to write something about it!
warnings: angst, mentions of death and war
tags: gn!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, kissing, poe being an absolute sap
word count: 2.6k
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
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He can’t help the fond smile growing over his face at the sight of you, deeply focused on the repair project in front of you before his knuckles hit against the doorframe a couple times, catching your attention. 
Your gaze meets Poe’s as he steps into your workshop, your expression of concentration quickly giving way to an easy smile when you see him, closely followed by BB–8. 
Poe greets you with a kiss, his hand lingering at your side when he pulls away. 
“What’s bringing you here, handsome?” you ask, shifting to put away the tool you still have in hand. “Hey Beebs,” you smile as you glance down at the droid that greets you back. 
Poe gazes down at his droid, his look shifting back at you. “Could you take a look at him whenever you got the time?” he asks, a small, defeated sigh escaping his mouth. 
“What’s up?” you question, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow at him. It hadn’t been that long since you last checked up on the droid.
“I think there’s something up with his memory, he’s been acting a little forgetful lately” Poe explains; you can see the concern in his eyes, can hear the worry in his voice.
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.” Poe nods, pinching his lips into a quiet smile as he looks down at the droid. “Hey, you don’t have to worry'' you reassure him, resting a hand over his arm. “It’s nothing too serious usually. Nothing I can’t fix.” He nods again, knowing he can trust you with this, knowing you're as good at this as he is at flying. 
“I’ll take care of him as soon as I’m done with that” you point back to the mess of scavenged parts resting over your workbench.
“Thank you sweetheart,” he says, cupping the back of your head and leaning in to leave a quick kiss on your forehead. “I’d stay with you and tell you about my day, but I have my last meeting of the day in about less than five minutes.” he shrugs, starting to walk backwards to exit the room.
“Sure, don’t worry.” you smile. “Come over when you’re done” 
As promised, the minute you’re done repairing the project you were working on, you lower your workbench to BB-8’s level, letting him roll onto the surface before you adjust it to your level so you can examine him. 
“Hey buddy. memory issues huh?” you coo, grabbing your tools, gathering everything you need to check up on him. He responds with upset beeps, his upper part sagging in defeat. 
“That's okay. Happens to the best of us,” you reassure him, setting to work on diagnosing the problem. “So since it seems to be a memory issue, I’m gonna have to look through your data” you explain, opening his access panels. 
It doesn’t take long for you to identify the issue: a few corrupted memory files. It’s a relief to see it's nothing severe, just a bit of corrupted data that needs to be cleaned and restructured. “Hah, found the problem,” you say, beginning the delicate process of correcting the corrupted files. “Looks like some of your memory files got a bit jumbled. Should be fine once we get that sorted out, there shouldn’t be any problem.” you explain. “You know, Poe always gets so worried about you.” you say, trying to keep the droid calm as your fingers work through the wires and circuits. BB–8 emits a series of grateful beeps, and you smile, focusing back on the task at hand. 
As you work on fixing him, BB–8 chirps curiously, his dome turning to watch you. You explain each step in simple terms, trying to distract him and make it the least stressful possible for him. “I’m working through your memory module. Some of these files are corrupted, so I’m cleaning them up and re-organizing everything. Just like tidying up a messy room.”
BB-8 responds with a relieved series of beeps, and you chuckle. “Yeah, I know it’s not fun for you to have me mess with your memory stuff, but I’ll have you be back to your old self in no time.” 
As you carefully rework BB–8’s memory files, you fumble slightly with a delicate wire, causing a brief short circuit – the droid jerks and beeps erratically before suddenly playing a vocal message. You reach to stop it, assuming it’s a manufactured error message you’ve triggered, but you freeze when you recognize Poe’s voice. “Hey baby,” Poe’s voice crackles through BB–8’s speakers, startling you. You frown, confused, ready to stop the audio message. “If you’re hearing this, it’s probably because something happened and I’m not around anymore.” Your heart properly skips a beat. “I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this,” he sighs softly. “Damn it’s weird talking like this when I’m still here,” he chuckles. You step back, driven by morbid curiosity, firmly intending to listen to the rest of it. 
“But you know, with everything that’s been happening lately and that’s gonna happen, you never know what’s next.” 
He sounds tired. You bite down onto your lip, a soft frown forming over your face and your gaze lost as the recording continues. “I could die in two weeks or in twenty years from the moment I’m recording this, so it’s pretty strange. I just… I love you so much. I wanted you to hear it from me one last time.” 
Your lips curl into a weak smile, tears welling up in your eyes. It’s stupid. He’s still here. It’s just a recording in case he dies.
But somehow, you can’t help it. Not with the prospect that you could listen to it again one day, in the context it was intended to be listened to.
“You’ve always been supportive of my bullshit, no matter what, and you were always there for me no matter how stupid I got, so it’s only fair I thank you one last time. I really hope we got to enjoy our time together” 
You pause the audio message, running your hand over your face, sighing deeply. You want to stop there and not listen to the entirety of it, on one hand because you aren't even supposed to hear it or know of its existence in the first place, and most of all because you’re not sure you can handle it – but your curiosity gets the best of you, and you let it go on.
“It’s stupid that I want to cry, because I’m still here” he chuckles. “You know, I’m recording this because I couldn’t sleep.” he declares. You can hear the soft strain in his voice, you can imagine him and his tired eyes, his hair slightly mussed from tossing and turning like he always does when he’s restless.
He sighs deeply before he speaks again. “I uh… Today’s mission went awful. I could have died and I didn’t even tell you” his voice drops with the weight of his words, he pauses for a second, and the knot inside your throat tightens.  
“You’re sleeping in the next room. You know, you looked so peaceful when I got out of bed that I didn't want to bother you by kissing your forehead, but I did it anyway because I remembered I might not be able to do it forever”
You can’t help it, it’s over for you. Tears roll down your cheeks on their own, the back of your hand suppressing your sniffles and the soft laugh you huff out at his way of always saying things that will get you.
BB-8’s upper part shifts, and he emits a soft, sympathetic whirr, trying to console you.
“I’ve left this message with BB-8 because I know he’s always with you if he’s not with me. Take care of him for me, will you? And take care of yourself. You’re stronger than you know, and you’ll get through this. I love you. So much. More than you know. Which is why I’m gonna cut the recording and get back to bed to hold you tight while I can” 
Your heart tightens inside your chest. You slowly shake your head, tears forced out of you when your eyes fall shut.
“Alright, okay, bye sweetheart. I love you.” 
The recording cuts, ending with a click, leaving you in a stunned silence. BB turns to you, beeping sadly, and you give him a weak smile before wiping the tears over your cheeks with the tips of your fingers. 
You huff out a heavy breath, one that you didn’t even realize was smothering your chest, and force yourself to finish taking care of BB–8 despite everything. 
You’re still sobbing when Poe comes in again. 
He finds you, full on tearing up, not even hiding it – which he finds strange, because you usually turn around and pretend to look for something to quickly dry your tears, and proceed to poorly try to deny you’ve been crying just to avoid worrying him. 
And the context he’s facing quickly leads him to assume something is wrong with BB-8, something you couldn’t manage to fix and now blame yourself for – BB–8 is quick to deny with appalled beeps, so Poe really doesn’t have any idea what he’s dealing with. 
When you pull him near and hug him tight, gripping his hair, longing to be as close to him as possible, he’s still as confused, but he’s swift to take action and hold you even tighter.
His embrace is warm, comforting, his touch delicate as his hand appeasingly rubs over your shoulder, and you progressively manage to calm down and quiet your sobs. “What’s going on babe” he quietly asks, trying to not pounce on you. His fingers carefully lift your chin up, taking care of clearing the tears from your face, his eyes searching yours intensely as he waits for your answer.
You sigh softly, your breath still ragged from sobbing. “I was working on Beebs and I found your…” you pause, realizing you’re not even sure what to call it. You're not even sure you want to say it out loud, to say it's a goodbye message. “I found your recording– I didn't mean to, it just–”
“Oh,” his face drops in saddened surprise, immediately understanding what you’re talking about. “Oh baby” he sighs, shaking his head as he pulls you back into his arms. You weren't supposed to know about this, even less hear it fully, not until he died, that is. “I didn’t want to scare or worry you. I’m sorry you had to hear that– it was just… a precaution.” he murmurs as you cling to him, the remnants of your tears dampening his shirt.
“I know,” you whisper, your voice weak and muffled against his chest. “I just– It was hard to hear. I don’t want to think about losing you”
“I don’t want to think about leaving you either,” he says softly, pulling back just enough to look at your face again. His thumb brushes away the last of your tears when you look at him, his gaze over you filled with a mix of sorrow and unwavering love that you manage to feel just by looking into his dark, warm eyes. “But I need you to know how much you mean to me, no matter what happens”
“Poe,” you scoff-whine. “I know. You’re pretty transparent about it already” you grin. 
When he’s not saying it explicitly, he always has a hand on you, always at least leaves a kiss over your cheek or forehead when he’s not full-on kissing you, and always makes sure to bring you back those jogan fruit cakes you like from Coruscant when he has to go there, and just the way he looks at you has you aware that he loves you, so he really doesn’t need to do that much, but he’s Poe Dameron, so it’s a prerogative.
“I happen to be a very romantic man” he jokes, smiling when he sees you chuckle and shake your head the way you do when he pulls stupid lines. “I just wanted you to hear it from me one last time sweetheart.”
“You and your dramatic flair” you tease lightly, gripping onto his jacket as you let out a soft groan. “You couldn’t just leave a normal message, could you?”
“You know, subtlety isn’t my strong suit” he grins, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “But seriously, I’m sorry you had to hear it like this. It was meant for dramatic times, not when I was about to ask you if you wanted to get dinner off base like now.”
You snort up a laugh, your arms wrapping around his neck. “You do owe me dinner after that.” 
“I know, right?” he scoffs, an amused smile over his face. “And it means I get to spend more of my alive time with you, so–” he teases, his fingers gently rubbing your back. “Stop that, it’s not funny” you frown, playfully hitting his chest with the back of your hand. “–Plenty of time to remind you that I love you” his hand squeezes yours gently.
You pull him closer, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that is both tender and intense, slow at first but deepening when the fear, the relief, the overwhelming love you feel for him step at the front of your mind. His hand moves from your hip to cup your face, his thumb caressing the skin of your cheeks rough from the tears.
When you break apart, your foreheads are still linked, his fingers gently tracing your face, your breaths mingling. “I’m joking about this, but I promise I’ll do my best for you to not have to listen to this recording again anytime soon.” 
“Mh, hope ‘anytime soon’ means a few decades at least”
“I promise. I love you too much to leave you like this. And I know I’ll look sexy when my hair turns gray” he adds with a playful smile.
You laugh, the sound breaking the lingering tension and bringing a sense of normalcy back. “Oh, definitely” you grin, raking your fingers through his curls. “Most handsome silver fox in the galaxy.” 
Poe smiles, kissing you again, softly. You can very clearly feel BB–8’s presence when you pull away, his needy beeps attesting of his need for attention.
“Yeah, alright buddy” you sigh, turning back to the droid to finish up his repair.
“So he’s okay?” Poe asks, approaching the workbench. 
“He’s all fine, good as new” you smile. “Hey, try running a diagnostic”
The droid runs his internal check, beeping happily once he’s done and everything seems to be alright.
“See?” you turn to Poe. “All good.” you grin at him, glad to have something concrete to smile about after that emotional rollercoaster you went through.  
“Thank you, really. I knew you’d fix him up” Poe declares, smiling as he watches BB roll off the workbench and onto the floor, navigating around your feet. “And I was serious about that dinner, by the way,” he says, watching you putting away your tools and tidying up your workbench. “We could both use a break.”
“Yeah,” you agree, scoffing. 
Poe’s hand finds yours as you turn the light off and leave the workshop, your fingers tangling as you walk through the corridors of the base, finding your way out. 
“Hey,” Poe calls, pulling you closer as you walk. You hum, looking at him, noticing the slight hint of worry in his eyes. “You really think I’d look hot with gray hair?”
You scoff, shaking your head. “Absolutely baby”
A content smile grows over his face, and he nods. “Cool.”
any and every comment/reblog is greatly appreciated!!
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@jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious
@stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @pigeonmama
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the0p · 6 months ago
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a night out
sub! seonghwa, a lot of plot sorry guys, mlm, fingers in mouth, gay sex (duh), alcohol mentioned, degradation (not super heavy), fluff, crying, unprotected, fingering, hand job, the whole nine yards, you get the point, I'm pretty sure I have some mistakes here but I'm too lazy to read trough it rn
You, your boyfriend, and the rest of ateez went out to drink. it wasn't a special occasion it was just a random friday, and the guys had the weekend off tomorrow, so most of them wanted to get as drunk as possible before another week of work starts. You, on the other hand, just tagged along, knowing someone had to be sober enough to get them home in one peace.
i sat next to my boyfriend seonghwa, who was downing his 5th glass of soju by now while I was still on my second, not in the mood to get plastered. the table was loud. All the guys were having all sorts of conversations between themselves, plus the music that was playing over the bar speakers. sure it was a lot, but it's kind of what I sighed up for when I started dating seonghwa, so I was in no place to complain. as time passed by, the whole group was extremely drunk, maybe apart from jongho, who seemed to be in the best state among the group, excluding me. seonghwa leaned against my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist his cheeks were a bit flushed, and hair was slightly messy. it was a cute sight for sure. "You okay??" I leaned closer to him, making sure he could hear me as I looked down at him, moving some hair out his face so I could see him better. he hummed a smile on his face, his eyes closed. I couldn't tell if he was falling asleep or was just way too drunk. "Come on, let's get you guys home" I said as I glanced at jongho, who was sitting relatively close and gestured for him to get going and helping me gather everyone. thankfully, he got the cue, and soon enough, everyone was up on their feet, the alcohol and food paid for. half the group went home, and the other half went on their own going to karaoke if I heard correctly. seonghwa chose to stay with me and crash at my apartment for the night, which I didn't mind in the slightest.
the walk to my apartment wasn't long as I lived 10 minutes away, and thankfully, seonghwa wasn't a super crazy drunk, so he was easy to keep in check. halfway through the walk, he stopped and took his phone out, handing it to me. I looked at him confused. "What am I supposed to do??" i asked, waiting for an answer as I watched him fix his hair a bit before he responded "take some photos. I need to post something for atiny." I hummed and nodded, understanding my job as I took some photos for him, hoping they would be boyfriend enough for his fans. "okay that should work" I said handing him his phone back watching as he scrolled through them a pleased look on his face before placing the phone back in his pocket and intertwining our hands together "I like them". the rest of the walk went smoothly, both of us talking and enjoying the company of one another. it wasn't often we got one on one time like this, especially since he was the busy idol he was, so I cherished moments like this.
Once we made it to my apartment, he instantly collapsed on my sofa sprawled out the best to his abilities on the soft surface. I chuckled at the sight and went into the kitchen, getting him a cold glass of water and making a simple sandwich as an attempt to sober him up a bit. I came into the living room placing both on the coffee table as I moved his legs off the sofa taking a seat next to him leaning back against the backrest "drink and eat so your not crazy hungover tomorrow" I said patting his thigh waiting for him to sit up normally and at minimum drink the water. After a bit, he did end up sitting up his hair a big mess, but I didn't comment on it seeing no point in it.
seonghwa finished the glass and ate half the sandwich before calling it done, he sat back against the sofa looking at you, his face still a bit flush from all the alcohol he consumed before. you didn't push it as there was no point. seonghwa leaned against you, wrapping his hands around your waist again as he nuzzled his head into the crock of your neck. your own hands made their way around him, pulling him in closer as you both just cuddled for a bit, enjoying the closeness and the warmth of each others touch. as you both sat there all of a sudden you felt seonghwas lips on your neck. it was sudden and not something you expected, but you weren't too opposed to it. his hands moved from your waist to your chin as he pulled away looking at you with his pretty brown eyes that where now lingering with lust "it's been a while since we've done anything...I'm pent up" he said going straight to the point as he got on top of you sitting down on your lap.
as he sat down on my lap, I placed my hands on his hips, looking up at him a bit unsure as I didn't wanna do anything with him if he was drunk. "Are you sure, baby?? you don't seem sober enough to make decisions like this" I said, moving my hands up and down his sides, wanting a verbal answer from him before we actually did anything. he nodded, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "I'm sober enough, stop worrying Y/n" I was still a bit uncertain, but what's the worst that could happen. I stared up at him, my eyes darting between his lips and his eyes. seonghwa noticed and took action kissing me first. I returned the kiss immediately as I moved my hands to his back, pulling him closer to me. the kiss slowly got more intense as I licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance, which he gave. I dominated the kiss, sitting up a bit as my hands found their way to the hem of his gray jumper. I pulled away from the kiss, pulling the jumper off as I put my lips to work, leaving a trail of kisses on his neck, making sure I left some marks as well. seonghwas hands made their way to my hair, tugging at it as he moaned lightly at the feeling, tilting his head back, giving me more access. I felt the bulge in his pants rub against mine as he was slowly getting more desperate, so I pulled away and changed positions so his back was against the sofa, and I was on top of him. his hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me down for a kiss. I returned it but pulled away shortly after as I undid his pants, pulling them down with his boxers. his cock sprung up leaking pre-cum as I stroked him slowly watching his face contort into pleasure moans filling the room from him. I picked up the pace watching him squirm under my touch. I leaned over, capturing his lips into mine, swallowing his moans, knowing it wouldn't take long for him to reach his climax, which I wasn't planning on giving him the pleasure of reaching just yet. Once I felt him buckling his hips up, I pulled away, completely leaving him on the edge. he looked at me a very desperate look on his face. "Why did you pull away? I was so close," he said, wining at the loss of contact. I chuckled. "Not yet, baby. we haven't even gotten to the fun part"
I placed my hand on his chin making him look at me as I tapped his lip with my thumb wanting him to open his mouth which he happily did wrapping a hand around my wrist as I put pointer and middle finger in his mouth his saliva coating the fingers. Once I felt that the fingers were wet enough, I pulled them out, giving him a kiss as I brought the fingers to his hole, inserting them in stretching him, making sure he was somewhat ready for me. seonghwa moaned into the kiss, a hand tangling in my hair as the other one clawed at my back and shoulders as I picked up the pace, making sure to hit his prostate his legs shaking from pleasure. I pulled away from the kiss, listening to him moan and cry. I pulled my fingers out and finally got undressed myself my own cock hard and leaking. I lined myself up with his entrance and slowly entered "fuck your still so tight" I groaned looking at him searching for any sign of discomfort only being met with moans and a desperate look on my boyfriends face "move please, fuck please move" I did as he asked moving slowly earning moans from the both of us his walls clenching around me, his nails digging into my shoulders.
I picked up the pace, his moans, the sound of skin slapping, grunts, and cries filled my living room. "you take my cock so don't you slut?" I say slowing down to keep him on edge my thrusts slow but deep. I saw some tears rolling down his cheeks but it didn't seem to be pain as he nodded agreeing with my words whimpers rolling off his tongue. "y/n please...please go faster.." he pleased his words desperate as more tears rolled down his cheeks. it was obvious he was close. I picked up the pace just as he asked with only a few thrusts "im close!!" he warned. I sped up and he ended up coming undone his cum covering his abdomen as I followed shortly with my own climax coming inside of him.
I pulled out and collapsed next to him, both of us panting and sweaty. I ran a hand trough my hair seonghwa doing the same "that was...very good" I said turning to look at him as he nodded "agreed" I sat up a bit looking at him studying him to see if he was hurt in any way. he knew me well enough to know what I was doing and looking for "I'm not hurt y/n don't worry" he said a smile on his face as I sighed and layed back down wrapping an arm around him pulling his back to my chest spooning him "well clean up tomorrow" I said my words a bit mumbled as I placed my head in the crock of his neck knowing we where both too tired to do anything at the moment.
"I love you, honey" seonghwa said, his voice quiet as he was on the brink of sleeping
"I love you too, baby" I responded both of us, drifting off to sleep happy and content.
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lowrahh · 3 months ago
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Hey, remember gaypirates.club?
The little Mastodon server half of the OFMD fandom flocked to back in 2023, when we briefly thought Twitter was about to die?
That little server is shutting down at the end of this month (announced by @unicorndeathrace last week), and I'm here to urge everyone who has an account there to migrate that account to a different Mastodon server, even if you're only semi-active or abandoned your account long ago.
Mastodon lets you keep your follower & following lists – if Bluesky and/or Tumblr ever go down or fully enshittify, it'll be good to have your Mastodon account as a backup, with as many of those connections as possible still intact. The more people do this, the easier it will be to find your fandom friends in the next social media apocalypse!
It's actually a pretty simple process, and I wrote a step-by-step guide to explain how it works. You can read the whole thing here, but I'll share an abridged version here, aimed specifically at folks who aren't super familiar with Mastodon!
Part 1: How to find a new server (= instance)
The part people tend to struggle with is picking a home for their new account, so I've dedicated the largest chunk of this guide to that, but I'll also give some recommendations in case you find that part too overwhelming.
No matter what instance you choose, you'll be able to connect and interact with folks on all the other instances, unless their instance is blocking yours or vice versa!
The most important things to consider are:
What kind of community you want most to connect (if your answer to that is fandom, scroll down for a list of fannish instances!)
What kind of content you want to post/see
What you don't want to see
👉 Have a look at your potential new instance's “About” page (for example, gaypirates.club/about) for its individual Server Rules, Community Guidelines, and blocked (“moderated”) servers.
If you want to post smutty fanart or fic, make sure the server rules allow not just nudity/NSFW but also ~erotic content~! You should also check the exact conditions – for example, most instances will require a CW and/or tag, and some don't allow NSFW content in public posts.
You'll find lists of selected instances, sorted by category, at the links below. There are instances focused on fandom, queer community, specific regions/languages, instances for artists, writers, gamers, musicians – you get the idea!
If all that sounds overwhelming or just too hyper-specific, have a look at the “General” category!
If scrolling through lists isn't your thing, this little wizard can give you suggestions based on what you're personally looking for in a server:
❤️ If you just wanna hang out with fellow fans, I recommend joining another fannish instance! ❤️
Personally, I chose blorbo.social! If you're curious as to why, check out this post – it mostly boils down to “I like their server rules, and some of my moots are there already.” (hi @xieliansbignaturals & @ofmdrecaps & most recently @hamykia ... and anyone else I forgot, sorry I can never remember who all is on Tumblr XD)
Having said all that, I also encourage you to check out other fannish instances! Below are a few I've come across but am less familiar with than blorbo.social.
❗Note that this is not an endorsement of any of these servers – I skimmed their server rules but don't really know enough about any of them to say whether I'd personally recommend them! That said, if you happen to know that any of them are actually horrible, please do let me know and I'll remove them.
FederatedFandom.net:
Adult-only “server for the girls & the gays & seeks to provide a trans-inclusive, anti-racist space”;
NSFW images must be under a CW;
no “AI” content allowed.
fandom.ink:
18+ instance
“small instance designed for lovers of fanfic, fan art, fan meta/acafandom, fannish communities, and blorbos of all kinds”
erotic content limited to followers-only or unlisted posts
no auto-crossposting from other platforms
retro.pizza
Queer-run “poly-fandom nerd culture server”
NSFW, spoilers & potentially triggering content must be under a CW (see sever rules & their “Director's Cut” for examples/details)
fandom.garden
“queer, anti-racist, anti-ableist space”
Nudity allowed, erotic content restricted to followers-only posts from 18+ accounts
Runs on a modified version of Mastodon (glitch-soc) that has extra features but is potentially less stable
FanGlitch.space
Adults-only
“no anti-shipper/pro-shipper nonsense” allowed
“adult content” must be under a CW
Otherwise pretty minimalist server rules
Runs on glitch-soc.
Part 2: How to create a new account
This part is so simple I wasn't even sure whether to include it, but it's been a while since most folks signed up, so I figured I should, just in case it helps anyone 🤗 Otherwise, just skip to part 3!
Many instances have a manual review process in place to keep out spam bots, but if you have an invite link from an existing member, your account will get approved automatically! So if you want to join blorbo.social, let me know and I'll send you an invite! 💖
Go to your new instance's website and click “Create Account” or use your invite link.
Review & accept the server rules.
Enter your details and set a new password.
If you don't have an invite, you may now be asked to share why you want to join. For example, you can mention that you're moving from gaypirates.club because it's shutting down soon; for fandom instances, just mentioning your main fandom is usually enough to get you approved! Once you've filled everything in, click “Request account”/“Sign up”.
Wait for your confirmation email.
If there's a manual review process, keep in mind that most instances are run by a small team or even just one person, so they may not be able to approve your account immediately. You may find more info about how long the review process typically takes on the instance's About page.
Congrats, you're in! 🎉
You may now want to fill in your new profile by copying over your bio, profile pic etc. from your old account. But you won't lose any of that in the migration process, so you can still do this later if you prefer!
Part 3: How to export & transfer your account data
The actual account migration requires a bit of switching back & forth between your two accounts, so this part will be easiest if you have them open in two separate tabs/browser windows on your PC.
Step 1: export your data from your old account.
Go to gaypirates.club/settings/export
Download all the CSV files (see screenshot – yours won't be 0 Bytes, that's just cos I used my new account 😉).
I highly recommend you also download the archive of your posts & uploaded media! While these unfortunately can't be imported to your new account, there are tools that make it very easy to look at all the stuff in your archive once the server has shut down, without being some kind of tech wiz! I'll add a fourth part shortly to talk a bit more about the archive – that step isn't time-sensitive once you've downloaded the file, so just make sure you do that before the end of this month!
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Step 2: link up your two accounts by creating an “account alias”.
Log into your new account and open the Preferences menu.
Go to Account Settings, scroll down to “Moving from a different account” and follow the link to create an account alias (or just navigate directly to [instance URL]/aliases).
Enter your old handle and click “Create alias”.
This action is completely harmless and will not disable or transfer anything yet.
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Step 3: import the CSV files you downloaded earlier.
In your new account, go to Preferences → Import and Export → Import.
From the drop-down menu, choose which file you want to import, then click browse, select the file, and upload it.
Repeat the previous step until you've uploaded all your CSV's.
The number of accounts you're following might not match up with your old account immediately after import, since some may need to manually accept your new follow request. You can easily open those CSV files in Excel, Google Sheets or something similar to see all the accounts in your list, and you can always re-import them if anything goes wrong.
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Step 4: transfer your followers & deactivate your old account.
This final step will deactivate your old account, put a redirect notice on it, and transfer all your followers over to your new account.
Until gaypirates.club goes down (cries), all your posts will stay right there, and you'll still have access to your data exports.
Once you're ready to move to your new account:
Go to gaypirates.club/settings/migration
Enter your new handle and the password for your old account.
Click “Move Followers”.
Don't panic if some of your followers aren't transferred immediately. This can apparently take up to a few days (in extreme cases), depending on which servers your followers are on.
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✨ And you're done! Now, anyone who visits your old account will still be able to see your posts, but they'll be shown a link to your new account.
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eschergirls · 3 months ago
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April 2025 Update, domain move, and Patreon thank you!
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Hi everyone! It's April so it's time for another update and to thank Escher Girls' wonderful Patreon supporters!
For a site update, we've officially moved the site to a Canadian domain, EscherGirls.ca just in case American domains become less viable for us to use in the future. However, EscherGirls.com still redirects to it and you should be able to use the site as normal and comment on Disqus on both, nothing should change. Let me know if anything is going wrong!
I've been dealing with a lot of health problems this month, so I didn't restore too many posts, some of the ones I fixed up, I've already mentioned on other posts this month. However other posts I've restored are:
This compilation of Marvel Swimsuit Special images
An old letter about Persona 3
This picture of Ultimate Crystal which I mentioned on another post
A boobs and butt panel of Rachel Summers from X-Men: Kingmaker
This weird ad for Eternal Fury
The missile boobs cover of Rin: Daughters of Mnemosyne also mentioned in another post
A wrestling promo image for Studio Trigger
And the coup de grace: this post where I helped the submitter realize that the League of Angels pop-ups they kept getting were because of malware installed in their computer!
Also if people missed it last month, I'm now adding "year" and "decade" tags to each post so people can more easily sort things by time period. Every new post should have this tagging, older posts will take time for me to make the changes.
I'm still going through my old inbox backlog in my email and Tumblr. Really old submissions will probably start showing up more often as posts, I'm sorry that it's taken me this long.
And now I want to give a huge sincere thank you to Escher Girls' March 2025 Patreon subscribers! I really appreciate your support and helping to keep the site afloat as domain and hosting costs go up due to inflation, also now I'm paying for 2 domains so site costs have increased.
If you want to join my Patreon, you can here, it helps to pay for site upkeep and updates and helps to keep Escher Girls as an archive up even if Tumblr goes down or changes their policies again. You can also donate one time on my Ko-Fi if you would like!
And now a huge thank you to the March Patreon subscribers:
Anne Adler Cat Mara Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Karrius Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Leak  Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Rebecca Breu Ringoko  Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SpecialRandomCast  Thomas 
Also a special thank you to JohnnyBob8 and Adriano for their generous donations to my Ko-Fi!
And thank YOU to everybody for reading and interacting with the blog! It makes running this site year over year so worth it!
If you want to contact me outside Tumblr, you can at [email protected], or on Fedi at https://urusai.social/@ami_angelwings.
I'll see you all next month!
Ami
PS: As a reminder, we added a button that links to the Escher Girls Tumblr and to our RSS feed for those who want to follow that way. (For newbies, RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!)
Make sure it is eschergirls.com and not eschergirls.tumblr.com, as that is Tumblr, and not the self-hosted site.
If you have any issues with the site or suggestions to improve it, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know!
If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.
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dinogoofymutated · 10 months ago
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Happy halloween everybody!!!!
Well, Happy early halloween, that is! I hope everyone is having a good day! As some of you know, I'm choosing to celebrate my 1000 follower celebration in the incoming months!! (well, technically like 1300 right now, I'm a little late 😭) I'm doing something especially special for this event, and I'll be letting all of you guys customise your fics!!
So the way this is going to work will be fairly simple. I will be writing these fics exclusively in the incoming months due to the fact I've been extra short on time lately, Overall, I will be posting four customised x-men fics in the month of October (once every week) Plus a special guest appearance on halloween day!
Sounds good, right? Well, you might be wondering, "Goofy, how in the world are these customisable?" And let me tell you!!! I will be creating seven writing prompts for all of you to choose from! The first three fics will all have two prompts per poll, with the winning prompt being the one used for that fic in particular!
But don't worry if the prompt you voted for doesn't win, it won't be lost to fanfic limbo completely! The fourth fic in october will have four prompts to choose from, the three losers + a brand new prompt! That way each of the losers gets a chance at redemption!
Once a prompt is selected, I will then create another poll to choose what character will be chosen for that fic! Not every character in X-men will be on every single poll, as candidates will be chosen by prompt compatibility. Once a character is selected, there's also a chance I will create a third and final poll choosing what sort of halloweeny character they should be!
These polls will be posted in the weeks leading up to october, with my hope being that I will have them all finished before october actually starts. I'm very excited to do this with Y'all, as I definitely have not done an event like this before!! Y'all better help me stick to it!
(Also, I have most of the characters I plan to put in the polls in the tags, but if you have someone in mind and want them to be considered as a candidate, please reblog, reply, or send me an ask!)
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Poll 1: Haunted Mansion vs. Hocus Pocus!
Prompt one: Haunted Mansion
You've recently moved into an old, spooky mansion that your great-aunt left you in her will. It's been uninhabited for years but is strangely well-kept. You're sure you live here alone, but every once in a while you can't shake the feeling of being watched…
Prompt two: Hocus Pocus
You've been working at the Harkness museum of witchery for about six months now. One night after you get off of work, you decide to take a walk through the graveyard across the street to look at the stones. You find a very strange cat stuck in a trap in the process, and let the poor thing out. Turns out, he's not actually a cat at all, but working at a witch museum has its perks, and you find yourself helping the kitty regain it's true form!
Winning selection: Haunted Mansion!
Character poll:
Candidates: Nightcrawler, Quicksilver, Cyclops,
Winning selection: Nightcrawler!
Full fic Here!
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Poll 2: Howling vs. Bloody halloween
Prompt Three: Howling
Something has been spotted in the woods behind your house. You don’t believe any of the bullshit all these reporters and wannabe horror vloggers are pushing, all you know is that you really want them off your land. Until you have a personal encounter with this creature, that is. What is the thing that has seemingly moved into your neck of the woods, and does it have anything to do with your new neighbor?
Prompt Four: Bloody Halloween
A bat flies through your window one night, and although you're dreadfully afraid of rabies and scared to touch the little thing, it's in really bad shape and you can't stand by and just let it die. You spend the next few days nursing the little guy back to health, when one day he up and disappears. The next night you go out with your friends, and feel like you keep seeing a familiar pair of eyes in the crowd.
Winning selection: Bloody Halloween!
Character poll:
Candidates: Gambit, Quicksilver.
Winning selection: Gambit!
Full fic here!
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Poll 3: Season of the Witch vs. Halloween town!
Prompt Five: Season of the Witch
You’ve always considered the rumors about your family’s witchy and magical past to be fictional, absolute nonsense. Well, you did, until you found yourself accidentally bound to someone who’s more or less your familiar. Neither of you particularly wants this, so you focus on whatever magical skills you managed to inherit on breaking the bond- but is that really what you want?
Prompt Six: Halloweentown
You've won the title of best pumpkin carver for the past five Halloweens, which is a big deal in Halloween town! The Sixth year rolls around, and you're determined to keep your title. Until some dude accidentally smashes your masterpiece mere steps from the festival. You make him swear to you he'd make up for it next year. You've almost forgotten about it when the end of August rolls around, only to find him right at your doorstep.
Winning Selection: Season of the Witch!
Character Poll:
Candidates: Angel, Morph, Quicksilver.
Winning selection: Morph!
Full fic here!
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Poll 4: Redemption round
This poll was a chance for the losers to win, and one fresh prompt to round them out
Prompt 8: Practical Magic
You recently found out that your family is cursed for any man you love to die. You’re devastated when you find this out the day after you realize you’re deeply in love, and make it your mission to keep your boyfriend alive. Shenanigans and ridiculous conflicts ensue, and after a very long couple of weeks- He reveals to you that he’s been immortal the whole time.
Winner: Practical Magic!
Character Poll:
Candidates: TBA
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lincolndjarin · 2 years ago
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ride cowgirl! ★ (agent whiskey x reader)
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(18+ mdni) pairings : agent whiskey x afab!reader summary : you like to make bets with your coworker for simple things, what happens when he decides he wants to raise the stakes? warnings & tags : no use of y/n, smut, sort of dubcon there's reluctance but everything is consensual, porn with plot, this ended up actually being mostly plot lmao, p in v sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, light bondage, use of restraints, fully clothed sex, pet names, size kink, praise, whiskey big dick truther word count : 2.3k a/n : first new fic post on the new blog!!! I had so much fun with this thank you so much to the person who requested it !! one of my google forms anon requests was for anything whiskey!! (I put the request at the end) this was the direction I went in >:) this was meant to be a drabble but I got carried away immediately. enjoy!! (this was edited super fast bc i'm tired after work lmao, so apologies for any mistakes)
It was a stupid deal. 
And you never should have made it. 
Of course it’s a little late for that now, when he’s already tying your hands behind your back with his ridiculous flask belt. 
“This wasn’t a part of the original agreement.” You grumble as he pulls the leather tight. That smug smile on his face. 
“You said, anyway I wanted it. This is how I want it.” He leans back against the headboard to admire his work. His eyes focused on the way your chest pushes out now with your arms forced behind you until you cough to get his attention. He takes his time before letting his eyes crawl back up to your face, still grinning ear to ear. 
“Can we just get this over with?” You groan. 
“Oh come on, gorgeous.” He’s loosening his tie, his smile never falters. “I already told you we don’t have to do this. I’ve offered you several outs and you keep turning them down. Besides,” He flashes his teeth at you in a toothy grin. “it’s no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 
That’s exactly what he’d said when you’d made this deal a week ago. 
“I think I want your hat.” You said rather confidently. The two of you had a long standing rivalry. You were placing bets nearly every week at this point. The winner was whoever had the most successful missions. It had started off simple. The loser has to take the other out to dinner, or pay for drinks after a night out. 
After a few months of that you’d gone out with Whiskey more times then you’d gone on any dates. 
Then you decided to raise the stakes. 
The other person's paycheck that week, a piece of tech the other had, at one point your mothers phone number was on the line. (Thankfully that week you had won.)
This week you were feeling lucky. So you pointed at his cowboy hat, he was never seen without. 
“If I win I want your hat.” You cock your head to the side, smirking. 
“You have a hat already.” He was typing up a mission report, you had come in as you always did on Monday mornings. 
“Nice observation agent, how’d you figure that out?” You took a pen from the mug on his desk, rapidly clicking it in an attempt to get under his skin. “That doesn’t change my mind, I don’t want my hat. I want yours.”
He sighs in irritation, taking the pen from you and moving the mug to the other side of his computer. 
“And if you win you can have mine.” You flick the rin of his hat as you say it and he finally turns to glare at you. 
“I don’t want your hat, I already have a hat.” 
“Someone’s in a bad mood today.” You whisper theatrically as he turns back to his work. 
“I’ve got a lot of paperwork to get through darlin’ so let’s hurry this up.” 
“I already told you. I want your hat, if you don’t want mine then pick something else.” 
He turns in his desk chair completely to face you now. Annoyance visible on his face. 
“If I win, then you wear my hat.” As he speaks he cracks the first smile you’ve seen on him all morning. 
“You aren’t making any sense, are you still waking up? Do you want me to go get you some coffee?” You laugh but he leans forward. Even though you were up on the desk and he was in his chair he was still nearly face to face with you. 
“Darlin’ you can be so cute sometimes.” You have no idea what he means but his voice has a condescending tone that makes you scowl. 
“Stop being coy and just clarify.” His first signs of a smile turn into a full blown grin. 
“Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.” He whispers, you’re about to slap him for making such a crass joke but he looks completely serious. 
“That’s not funny. What do you really want?” You pray he doesn’t see the goosebumps on your arms at his words, you spend so much time with him yet he’s never made a pass at you. You’ve watched him hit on countless women these last few months but he’s never turned his attention towards you quite like this. 
“I told you. You win, you get my hat. I win, you wear it.” He has to be messing with you. You want to believe that he’s just trying to push your buttons but you know purely based on the way he looks at you that he couldn’t be more serious. 
It’s an insane offer. But it’s not like you haven’t thought about it. Who wouldn’t be curious about what he must whisper to get women to come home with him, what he must promise them. 
Stop. You can’t seriously be considering this. 
“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously I’m not doing that.” You get up to leave. Embarrassed by the entire situation. 
“You win, you get my hat and the Bronco. I win, you wear the hat.” You’re already walking out when he says it and you stumble a bit before turning back to stare at him slack jawed. 
“You’d give me your car?” The disbelief in your tone is palpable. 
“If you won.”
And you just couldn’t say no. It was too good of an offer. 
So you set up ground rules. 
You wanted your clothes to stay on, at least as much as possible for the situation. Which he agreed to, so long as the two of you did it “how ever he wanted.” You didn’t realize until much later what that entailed. And of course there was the fact that he wanted you to enjoy it. An odd request all things considered, but he said it was important to him that you had a good time. 
“It's no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 
He had insisted that if you weren’t into it that he would stop, especially if he thought you were faking it. 
Once everything was decided the two of you shook hands. 
And then, by some cruel trick of fate, you had fumbled not one, not two, not even three, but all of your missions that week. A feat that has never happened to you in the entire history of your employment with Statesman. 
So that’s how you ended up like this. 
Fully clothed other than your discarded panties, straddling your most annoying coworker, who’s sitting underneath you, dressed the same as always except his pants are unzipped, with his belt around your wrists. 
“Just let me know when you’re ready darlin’, take your time. I can wait all night, I've got nothing else planned.” 
You could tell him no. You should. You just don't want to.
The second you did he would take the belt off your wrists, hand you your panties (the ones you pretended you didn’t see him shove in his pocket when you threw them on the bed,) and send you on your way. And he’d do it all with a smile. 
Of course you can’t let that happen, that would just mean that he’s won, again. 
He wouldn’t even tell anyone, not that anyone knew about the deal to begin with. But he’d never tease you for bailing, he’d just make you live with the knowledge that you bit off more than you could chew. 
And worst of all, if you had won, you know for a fact that he would have handed over the keys to his car with zero hesitation. 
So you roll your eyes and nod. 
He clicks his tongue, leaning forward, his hands rub your thighs, pushing your skirt up further. 
“Tell me you want it sweetheart.” He taunts, making you sigh loudly. 
It’s not that you don’t want it. God knows you want it. You crave it. But you can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“I want it.” You say, almost comically emotionless which has him frowning, sitting up straighter. 
“Let’s just call it. You clearly don’t, and I’m not interested in an unenthusiastic partner.” He begins to lift you off of his hips but you push against him, properly sitting yourself in his lap. 
“Give me a second, Jesus. I’m not even warmed up, just- I need a minute. We’re doing this.” There’s a determination in your voice that stops his efforts.
There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. 
“Do you want me to… warm you up?” It’s the first time he’s dropped the cocky facade since you started this ordeal. 
“No. I think I’m okay. Let’s do this.” You nod a few times, almost like you’re hyping yourself up. The two of you hadn’t factored in a lot of the logistical details of this deal, more specifically foreplay. 
As he pulls himself out of his jeans you’re starting to wish that you had. He isn’t even completely hard yet and you aren’t entirely sure how you’re going to take all of it. 
He unceremoniously spits into his hand before gripping himself at the base, steadily stroking himself. 
It’s like he’s a porn star and you’ve got front row seats to a private show. 
You’re close enough that when he leans forward, softly grunting, his face brushes against yours. His cock becoming fully erect in his hand, you hope he doesn’t hear you gulp. 
As he jerks himself off, his free hand reaches up, removing his hat before placing it onto your head. It’s a little too big for you so it tilts to one side. He gives you a lopsided grin before picking up his pace. You watch with wide eyes. 
He’s too big. 
In every way possible. 
He’s too long, he’s too thick, he’s simply too much. 
And you can’t tell him that. He’s smug enough as is, if you say “actually nevermind. you’re dick’s too big I couldn’t possibly fuck you.” he’ll be even more insufferable than he already is. But much to your chagrin he already knows what you’re thinking. 
“You still sure you don’t want me to warm you up?” His nerves are clearly gone as he chuckles before hissing through his teeth. His thumb brushes over his pink, weeping tip. 
“I’m fine. Ready when you are.” Not true. 
“Maybe I could free your wrists. You can do it yourself if you don’t want me to do it.” He’s reaching behind you and you once again halt his efforts. 
“No. We’re doing this your way.” 
You’re certainly overestimating your abilities, but he doesn’t need to know that. 
You scoot forward in his lap until his cock is resting between your thighs. You sit up on your knees and he lines himself up at your entrance. 
“Last chance to back out, sugar.” With that final taunt from him you sink down onto him without warning. Barely taking more than an inch before you drop your chin to your chest so he can’t see your face as he simultaneously leans back to rest against the headboard once more. 
It feels like he’s splitting you in half. 
His hands return to your thighs. His palms splayed against you as his thumbs rub comforting circles against your flesh. 
The sting is all you can think of but buried beneath it all is a heat that threatens to consume you. 
You lift your head to look at him. He’s lost a bit of his bravado as he runs his fingers through his hair. You don’t give him (or yourself to be fair) a chance to adjust. You have a desperate need to watch him unravel despite the ache between your legs. 
You take a deep breath before you take nearly half of him in one rock of your hips. 
The stretch is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, the heat in your stomach is bubbling over as you let out a moan you’ve never heard from yourself before. His grip on your thighs is tight enough now that you’re certain you’ll have to wear a longer skirt tomorrow. 
“Christ darlin’.” He stutters out, his eyes are squeezed shut and you couldn’t be more proud. 
“Is this enthusiastic enough for you?” You manage to grunt out between your small gasps. 
He mumbles something that sounds like a yes.
You have to wait longer this time before moving again, you wait until the pain eases itself away and is replaced with that heat you’ve been pursuing. Only then do you try taking more of him, you don’t manage all of it but you take most of him after a bit of effort. The entire time his eyes are trained on you, a look of admiration on his face. 
“You are something else, gorgeous.” He whispers.
His low drawl shoots straight to your core and god you’re sure he knows it. He whimpers when your walls clench around him.
You haven’t even started properly riding him and you’re close. 
The way he fills you has you seeing stars. You would love to try and banter with him right now, tease him, but you’re too far gone. Too focused on the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips as he lets out a soft whine before squeezing your hips.
“Let me touch you, please.” He mutters breathlessly.
You aren’t one to deny good southern manners. 
You give him a nod and he wastes no time as he rubs your clit with the pads of his fingers frantically, like he’s trying to make you cum as fast as possible. You’re confused as to why for only a moment because your climax approaches so rapidly it nearly knocks the wind out of you. Your hips stutter as you sit, finally fully impaled on his length, in an instant your vision is a searing hot white. His hat tilts forward on your head, briefly covering your eyes. You’re left breathless in his lap, when you come down from your high he’s grinning at you.
“I win again darlin’.” 
You groan as you recall the conversation you’d had right before he had tied your hands behind your back. 
“If I finish first you can have my hat, if you do, then I get to finish inside you.” 
“Absolutely not.”
“If I finish first you can have the Bronco.”
“...Fine.”
a/n : requester ily, thank youuu
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animementrash · 1 year ago
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AOT Veterans red flags Pt.1
Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe
Tags: headcanons, implied established relationship, annoying things I think they would do, they/them pronouns for Hange <3
A/N: Listen, I don't know about you but I can't enjoy anything without trying to find something bad about it No wonder why I've been in therapy for 4 years, so this is me trying to find annoying things they would do when in a relationship. I will also post the cute/nice things version soon, so don't worry! :p
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Levi Ackerman:
Will snap at you when mad. Even if you manage to get him to date you and even if he really loves you, when he’s mad, he doesn’t make exceptions on anyone and will most likely snap at you if you’re nearby or if you’re the reason he’s upset.
Will give you the cold shoulder after arguing. He may be a strong and composed man but most definitely lacks of some emotional intelligence so if you have a fight his first response is to back out and ignore you until he’s sorted his mind. It may be hours, days or even weeks until he starts reaching out to you normally.
Will never admit he’s wrong. Following with the arguing theme, if you guys are fighting about something he is wrong about, he will rather leave you talking to yourself than to admit he’s wrong. He may reach out to you and admit it afterwards but will never do it at the moment you’re arguing.
Will expect you to adapt to his lifestyle and not the other way around. He’s been very independent since a young age and his lifestyle is ruled by very specific ideals and schedules, which means he will most likely expect you to understand and adapt to said rhythm instead of asking for your way of doing things or even try to adapt to yours.
Will not “get out of his shell” for you. He’s a very reserved, quiet and simple man; no, he will not eventually start to like going out and meeting new people and no he will not suddenly change his attitude to be a friendly sunshine just because you’re like that or you want him to be like that. He is who he is and will not change for anyone, take it or leave it.
If he must choose between Erwin or you, he will choose Erwin. This isn’t even a question for him, and it’s not even an Eruri kind of thing, it’s just that for the most part of his life his only reason to keep going has been Erwin’s ideals, the only constant in his life has been Erwin and for him to choose something or someone else above that is almost impossible.
Will not like the things you like just to make you happy. If you like drinking coffee instead of tea it’s alright for him, but don’t expect him to start liking it too just because you offered him a cup. Also, if you are a social person and love to go out and befriend everyone, he will not stop you but won’t go out of his way to be friendly either.
Will most likely ignore you if he gets too overwhelmed. He will not do it on purpose or without a warning but if he’s tired and you keep on rambling about something that may not necessarily be interesting to him, he won’t hesitate on asking you to stop talking or to let you know he’s not interested.
Erwin Smith:
King of gaslighting. Erwin is such a great strategist, he’s smart and analytical, of course he will find a way to make you believe you were wrong when arguing even if he’s actually the one who messed up.
Will neglect the relationship more than expected. Whether you’re dating or married, you really should understand the role he plays inside the walls. He is the Commander of the scouting legion and will almost always be drowning in work, he may not like to do it but will sometimes put aside your relationship for the sake of his job, even if this makes you upset.
Won’t tolerate too much bs. Another practical man who’s been alone most of his life and already has everything figured out the way it works for him. If he dates you and you start to try to change his way of living or his routines, he will break the relationship without hesitation. He needs someone as mature and practical as him who will understand him without fussing about trivial things.
Will flirt and court other ladies if needed. I previously posted a HC about Erwin knowing he’s handsome and using that to his advantage sometimes and I firmly believe he would keep doing so even after he is in a relationship, he may not go all the way and cheat on you for the sake of the scouts but will probably accept an invitation to dinner or a flirty kiss on the cheek if he knows that can be beneficial to the legion. He isn’t trying to make you jealous or upset you, but don’t expect him to pass on an opportunity if the time is right.
King of mansplaining. He does not do it on purpose, I promise. But very often he will explain the most basic thing to you as if you were a toddler who just learned how to talk. He will also use that slow and condescending voice when explaining things that makes your blood boil.
Is a very jealous partner. Yes, he may flirt with a lady on a ball but that’s just because it’s for the sake of the scouts; your sweet greeting to that seller at the market isn’t saving the world so why do you need to greet him in such way?
Will leave to expeditions without saying goodbye. This behavior may appear only the first two or three times after you get together, this man is afraid of dying outside the walls and leave you waiting for him forever, so what does his smart yet dumb brain tells him to do? Leave without saying goodbye. that way if he does come back, he can always apologize and if he doesn’t, well, hopefully you’re too mad at him to notice he didn’t make it back home this time.
Hange Zoe:
Will prioritize their projects above anything. And yes, that includes you. If you’re expecting them to push everything away and come running to you just because they’ve been secluded in that office for too long, think again. Because they won’t.
Does not understand boundaries at all. Oh, you’re sleeping after a tiring shift? Don’t care, come look at this cool rock I found. Do you have an irrational fear of titans? Close your eyes, I will show you something so cool you will forget you fear them! (They will take you to see a real titan up close).
Will look down at you if you don’t understand them. They will constantly ramble about things that sometimes may be too complicated to understand, and if you dare to tell them that, they will stop talking and go find “someone who’s smart enough to understand”.
Hygiene isn’t their priority. They will run and hug you even if they just came back from training and they’re sweaty and smelly. Your clothes will never be clean again because they will randomly wipe their hands on whatever surface is near and, sadly for you, that will be you most of the time. “No, I don’t need to shower just yet, I did it a few days ago”
Will zone out when you’re talking. This isn’t necessarily their fault; they are just so invested on that new formation they suggested for the next expedition and can’t stop thinking about it that your childhood story about that bruise isn’t worth the time.
Will steal food from your plate without asking. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were saving that piece of meat as your last bite, it seemed so delicious that I thought I’d take it before it went cold”.  “What do you mean it’s disgusting if I put my hand on your soup? I just wanted to fish that tiny potato and eat it!”.
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umbracirrus · 17 hours ago
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Super late WIP Wednesday-
Ahhhhh this past week has been a ✨clusterfuck✨ - I've had some major work to do, had numerous events I've had to attend, and now I'm ill 😮‍💨
But I have got some writing done over the past few days-!!! I even managed to post chapter 34 of The Perfect Storm yesterday morning.
Anyway. This Sunday can be an honorary Wednesday, and I'll share a WIP today 💛
Thank you for the tags on Wednesday @skyrim-forever @friend-of-giants and @madam-whim , and @chiqita for show us your WIP sundas today!!
------
With her lips firmly pursed together and Lydia just behind her, Elyse placed her hand against the door of Balgruuf’s study, her mind firmly made up on what to do... At least if nothing more reasonable was suggested.
She was going to leave Skyrim behind.
Already she had started coming up with a plan on how she would go about doing that – cut down what she owned to the bare necessities and things that she couldn’t live without, and go somewhere that she couldn’t be recognised as the Dragonborn. Cyrodiil was once a place that she considered home, but there was little to no doubt that the seat of the Empire would know of her. Hammerfell or High Rick felt more realistic – and she had ties to the latter, given that her early years had been spent there. She wasn’t going to make the mistake of seeking out family if she were to choose there though – Korir had been a lesson not to.
And Lydia... Lydia had said that she would go with her. She told her that it wasn’t necessary, but the housecarl had insisted. Not even out of responsibility, but out of concern for a friend.
A few more steady breaths passed her lips as she pushed the doors open, and stepped inside. Much to her surprise though, it wasn’t just Balgruuf and Irileth in there – Proventus and Hrongar were there too. It took her a moment to comprehend just why they were there before she realised that it made sense. They were technically in positions to help advise Balgruuf. Hrongar as the person who had known him for the longest and also had something of a mind for politics, and Proventus as his steward who had to handle all sorts of situations on his behalf.
“Is this everyone then?” Balgruuf asked as soon as the door fell shut behind her, leaning back against his desk and folding his arms over. “Right... As I am sure that everyone is aware of the current situation at this point, I will keep this brief. After the dragon attack from a few weeks ago, the Empire and the Stormcloaks are using Elyse’s presence there to accuse her of having picked a side, and are in turn trying to push further into Whiterun with this as their justification. None of the accusations are true, so we need to figure out how to handle the situation tactfully and in a way which doesn’t bring war to our doorstep.”
Of everyone, Proventus was the first to speak. “Would simple diplomacy not work? Inform them of the errors in their judgement-“
Irileth shook her head. “We already discussed this earlier – they won’t be inclined to believe us, and have numerous excuses not to.” She then looked towards Balgruuf, and frowned. “I know that you do not like hearing this, let alone being suggested it, but perhaps it is finally time for Whiterun to-“
“No. This war is little more than violence for the sake of violence, using Skyrim’s allegiance to the Empire and the worship of Talos as a cover,” Balgruuf snapped, his foot now doing a slight irritated tap against the floor. “Whiterun is the one place in Skyrim trying to avoid this turmoil, and all that an allegiance will do is bring both the hold and Skyrim closer to ruin. It remains out of the question unless I say otherwise.”
The tension in the air grew thicker with each following suggestion – that Elyse takes on a new identity and retires from anything related to her responsibilities as Dragonborn, that she should pick a side herself, or that they order the guards to apprehend or fight anyone of either allegiance within the hold. None of the suggestions sat right for many of them, and it was reaching a point where they were on the verge of arguing with each other.
It was at that point that Elyse was about to bring up her last resort, to say that she will be leaving to protect Whiterun whether they agreed with the suggestion or not, but she was stopped in her tracks by Hrongar making a noise which almost sounded like a chuckle.
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poetrysmackdown · 2 years ago
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some informal thoughts
hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!
my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.
my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.
There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).
anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.
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insert-witty-user-name-here · 9 months ago
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WIP Wednesday
Hello, it’s me- the angst fairy- back again with something needlessly angsty. I was reminded recently about a scene I’d deleted from an old fic of mine. No regrets about deleting, it was the right decision, but I was sad to cut it. B-15 deserves more character analysis. So sharing it now.
Tagging just a few folks who I don’t think will mind the angst but anyone else who sees this and wants to participate in sharing their art or writing- please do! 💚 (And please tag me in your posts so I don’t miss it) @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @lgwilt @dewdropreader
Deleted scene from a fic where Mobius is trying to ignore his trauma but the memories of those he’s pruned keep on coming. B-15 helps him through it. (I noticed on B-15’s Funko Pop that she tracked her kills on her helmet and decided, as I do, there’s an angsty story there.)
Verity stopped and opened a small door to their left, pulling Mobius inside an empty room.
“I thought you said we were running late to another meeting?”
“There’s no meeting,” she said. “Just looked like you needed a break from the briefing. Take a minute.”
Mobius nodded and let his head fall against the door behind him, relishing the feeling of cool metal against his skin. It was quiet. There were no glaring lights, no beeping machines, no questions he didn’t know the answer to. Mobius took a few steady breaths until the headache pounding in his head subsided. He opened his eyes to find Verity watching him closely.
“Thanks,” Mobius said, pushing himself from the door and straightening his tie. “I feel better. Don’t tell Loki he was right. He warned me that a meeting on numerical code methodology for new timelines would put me to sleep.”
He turned to share a laugh with Verity but her face didn’t show any amusement. Instead, she looked concerned.
“I don’t think this was as simple as you falling asleep in a meeting,” she said carefully.
Mobius stilled. He had hoped his episodes weren’t noticeable but he should have known he wouldn’t be able to keep them from Verity. She was smart. It’s why he named her Deputy Director.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after a few moments of silence.
Flashes of a park on a sunny day, a couple laughing, a timestick in his hand, a scream of terror, and a case file— variants eliminated— sped through Mobius’ mind before they were gone.
“No… I don’t remember what I was thinking about,” Mobius answered honestly. It was probably for the best he didn’t remember.
Verity frowned. “You shouldn’t repress your memories.”
Mobius slumped back against the door with a groan. She was right. While they still didn’t quite understand what the TVA had done to them, they were beginning to understand how they could heal their broken minds. Mobius knew the steps a TVA worker should take when they felt their memories resurface —he’d help write the protocol— but it was time consuming. For an organization that existed outside time, Mobius sure felt they were constantly running out of it. He didn’t have time to practice the techniques he’d taught others.
“There are too many cases that need my attention right now,” Mobius said.
“You need to offload some of those. I keep telling you-”
“I know, I know. I will. I just need to get through this Mandarin case first.”
“And then?” Verity pressed.
“And then I’ll take a few days off and sort through some of this… stuff.
Verity gave a disbelieving huff.
“I will.”
A heavy silence fell between the two agents and Mobius looked at the room around them. They were in one of the storage rooms that used to hold confiscated variants’ possessions. Without the stolen artifacts filling the shelves, the room seemed hollow. Purposeless. Mobius didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it in the reallocation.
“You’re not the only one who’s struggling,” Verity whispered. Her voice was soft, so soft that even in the silence of the abandoned room Mobius hardly heard her. At first, he wasn’t sure she intended to speak the words out loud.
“That’s how I knew you were having an episode,” she continued, twiddling with the cufflinks on her new suit in an uncharacteristic show of nerves. “I get these… headaches sometimes. Everything blurs together and I can’t remember where or when I am. It’s like I’m lost in my memories or, no, it’s like I’m trapped… trapped by him again… like we never escaped.”
Verity clenched her eyes shut with a sharp inhale of breath as if she were trapped inside a memory right now and Mobius reached out, taking her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew how terrifying it was to be stuck in your memories, to feel like you were back under his control. They may have defeated He Who Remains but he was still here. He always would be. There was no amount of running they could do to escape him entirely. It made Mobius feel weak. He hated thinking Verity felt the same.
“Did you know I used to track kills on my helmet?” Verity asked.
Mobius nodded. He remembered. His memories might be splintered but he remembered enough. He remembered what they were a part of.
“I hated that thing,” she scowled. “I hated that number printed on the side. The paint was fresh when I started but sometimes I swore I could see the etchings of another number. The number of whoever I replaced when they were deemed ineffective. I wondered how long it would be before they replaced me.
“I thought if I marked my helmet as my own, if I made it look different, I would feel better. They wouldn’t paint over it so easy. I thought if I pruned more than anyone else, I could prove to the Timekeepers that I was better than everyone else in my unit. That I would feel useful, good, like what I was doing mattered but-” Verity’s voice cracked and Mobius squeezed her hand tighter. “I only ever felt more angry. So, I pruned more hoping that feeling would go away. It never did. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse until…” Verity trailed off.
“Until Sylvie,” Mobius finished.
“Until Sylvie,” Verity agreed, wiping her eyes and pulling back with a soft smile on her face. “Sylvie showed me everything I lost and suddenly it all made sense. I knew why I hated that number. I knew why I woke up furious at the world, looking to punish anyone who got in my way. It’s because that number wasn’t my name. Who they made me wasn’t me.
“They took everything from us and while we can’t travel back in time and change what was done, we can change our future. We have the opportunity to fight for something we believe in now. Sylvie and Loki gave us that.”
Warmth spread through Mobius as the mention of Loki’s name. He looked down at the ring on his left hand and smiled, running his finger along the band again. He would never understand how he’d gotten so lucky; he would do everything in his power to be the man Loki believed him to be.
“You gave us this opportunity too,” Verity added. “When we burnt down our old TVA, you built a new one and you didn’t dictate a new purpose but rather showed us what a new purpose could be. We chose to follow you. We choose this life. And…” Mobius felt Verity give his hands a gentle squeeze. “You don’t need to carry it alone. We want to help you.”
Mobius carefully untangled his hands from Verity’s and took a step backwards. “I know.”
“Good,” Verity nodded with an air of finality. “At least let Loki help you. I don’t know what’s going on between you two but he’s started helping me with my cases.”
Mobius snorted. He could only imagine how that was going.
“It’s not funny, Mobius. He’s driving me nuts. You need to let him return to smothering you otherwise I might just send him to the Void without his TemPad.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Mobius chuckled at Verity’s hollow threat. “I’ll talk to him. Now, come on. I think we both deserve a little treat after all this. Let’s see what Processing confiscated today.”
Verity hesitated. “Mobius, I don’t care how many different variations you force me to try, I’m not going to like any timeline’s Josta.”
“What?? After all that talk about hope and change. One day I am going to find you a Josta you like. But no, I actually wasn’t talking about Josta this time. I heard Processing just got back with a case full of strawberry margarita mix. If that interests you.”
Verity’s face lit up in a brilliant smile. “Now, you’re speaking my language. Lead the way, Director. Josta aside, I’ll follow you anywhere.”
I’ll follow you anywhere.
Mobius’ steps faltered as he swallowed over the lump of fear in his throat at the words. Verity and the entire TVA would follow him. They were depending on him to show them the way, to fix things and Mobius couldn’t let them down. He wouldn’t.
Okay, I’ll write something fluffy and cute for next time. I promise I do know how to write sweet things 😅
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months ago
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butterflygirl738 (6)
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, power imbalance, sickness, medical bills, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You love butterflies and your mother, but life isn’t that simple. As life gets complicated, and expensive, you find yourself in need and an unexpected miracle presents itself.
Characters: Steve Rogers (CEO/Sugar Daddy)
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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"It was a nice day," S says as he checks the rear view mirror.
You twitch out of your trance. Your eyes are itchy, the way they get after a double shift. You suppress a yawn and nod.
"Very nice, thank you," you agree and twiddle your fingers in your palm.
"But you're anxious to get home..." he says.
"Well....my mom..." you begin. "I'm not trying to ditch you--"
"Ha, I know. I'm selfish. I've had you all day." He keeps his eyes on the road. "Should we stop and get her something?"
"Um, that's. Mm. I'd love to but..."
"Might be suspicious. Got it." He clucks. "Well, what about tomorrow? You got plans?"
"She has an appointment," you say. "Check-up."
"Ah, makes sense," he says. "When is it? Maybe after..."
"Yeah, er maybe. But... how long are you here? What about New York?" You wonder. The big city, his company, all that is still a mystery to you.
"It can wait. Besides, the hotel has wifi. I got all night to catch up emails."
"Oh, right." You stare at the street ahead.
"Tomorrow?" He prompts before the silence drags.
"Tomorrow. After noon? Should be done by then," you assure him, twisting your fist around your finger.
"Can I ask you a favour?" He slows as he gets to your street.
"A favour?"
"Yeah. Nothing big. Promise." He turns the corner and keeps a snail's pace.
"Alright," you utter.
"Will you bring a few bills tomorrow? We can go through them. Sort that out--"
"S. No. I can't--" 
"But that's the deal," he insists. "How can I help if I don't know the situation?"
"I... I don't know. It's a lot."
"A lot you shouldn't be worried about. You should be focused on your mom. Not money." He stops in front of your building. He angles in his seat and puts his hand on the back of yours. "This is what I'm here for. To take all that off your shoulders."
You exhale and swallow dryly. "It feels like too much."
"Not to me." His thumb rubs the seat, close to your shoulder. "Look, I'm just me. I got more than enough for that. I want to do this. I want someone to share this with. To spoil, if I can."
You look at him. He's too good to be true. After all the bad days, all the set backs, all the red numbers, you just can't believe it's what he says it it.
"I'll bring one," you offer.
"One?" He echoes.
"Mhmm," you nod.
"The highest one then," he says. His tone is even but demanding. 
"Okay."
"Okay," he repeats and clears his throat. "Look, sweetheart, let's not ruin the day. Go inside, spend some time with mom. I'll text you."
You chew your lip. You should tell him. It won't help if he thinks you're ignoring him.
"Maybe not." You fidget. "I'm... I'm almost out of... I uh, the internet is down and I pay per message."
"Hm, why didn't you mention it before?" He challenges.
You sink down, pushing your shoulders high. "It's embarrassing."
He sighs. 
"No problem. Tomorrow. After noon," he pats the seat and rescinds his hand. "Hope the appointment goes well."
"Me too," you murmur in dread.
You undo your seat belt and grab your purse. You sit up and glance at him. He watches you expectantly but you're not sure what he's waiting for.
"Good night," you say.
His jaw ticks, "good night, sweetheart."
You smile weakly and get out. You shut the door gently and turn to step over the curb. You march up to the front doors and peek back. You wave then go inside.
You feel bad now. Like you're abandoning him. After such a nice day, you're just strutting off without giving him anything...
Your chest knots up as you climb the stairs. It isn't just him, it's the lies. You're not sure you can keep this up but if you don't, what are you going to do? You can't pay him back and the missed hours at work won't do much to help that. And if you keep calling in, well, you might not have time to make up for what you missed.
You're confused. This was supposed to make it all easier but it all feels so much more complicated. Why can't life be as simple as the chrysalis in the hamper? 
🦋
"Will you come in with me?" Your mom asks as they call her name.
You nod and stand with her. It's not like the early days. When she went on her own. She didn't tell you the diagnoses right away. Not until the first treatment. That was a horrible day and there's been many of those since.
You follow the nurse to the sterile room. You sit in the chair in the corner and your mother sits in the chair by the small counter top. You're silent. Both anxious.
Dr. Vincent enters. You almost feel like you should stand. You cross your legs and return his greeting. It's not a very good morning but you won't say so.
"So, Noreen," he says to your mother. "I have some news."
Your mother looks at him from her chair. She looks small like a child. You've never seen her afraid but in that moment, you see her eyes gleam.
"You're a candidate for stem cell transplant." He says.
Your mom looks at you and back to him. You don't know what that means either. You remember they mentioned it early on but it never came back up.
"No more chemo. At least for now. We think this is the opportune time and it could help with recovery in the long run," he explains.
"Oh, right," she breathes. 
"We'll send you for a few scans to see how things are looking but your last images were positive."
"Uh huh, okay," she blinks. "Is it very expensive?"
He hums. "It can be. Depending on insurance. Of course, it would be my recommendation for you to go with it. Chemo is showing results but in my experience, this is the best course of action. If you wish to continue as you are, it's entirely within your discretion."
You're both quiet.
"I'll provide you some information on it before you go. How about that? Give you some time to think." He says.
"That's good," you say as your mom stays silent.
"Alright, then, we'll do the usual," Vincent diverts. "Let's get you on the bed."
You sit patiently as he checks your mother over. He's quick and efficient. He has a full waiting room, even this early in the morning. You thank him after your mother does and he leaves the room.
She steps onto the stool and down to the floor. As you approach her, she sighs. She doesn't say anything as she leads you out of the room.
As she stops at the admin desk to get the folder of pamphlets, she bids them a good day. As you come out into the gloomy of the rainy day, you take her hand. She stops and stands at the curb, looking out into the distance.
"I'm tired, pie."
"I know, mom," you say.
"What do you think?" She asks.
"I don't know. Maybe... we should read the stuff."
"It'll be expensive."
"It's all expensive," you mutter.
She drops her head. "My last days and I have to watch my daughter work herself half to death just to suffer more and more."
"Mom, please, he said things are looking good--"
"Maybe but I don't know how much longer I can keep this up."
You swallow as your eyes burn. "It's... it's your choice. Always your choice." You look away, trying not to cry.
"Honey," she squeezes your hand. "I don't want to give up. I know you won't, either, but you're tired too. It hurts me to see you like this."
"Mom," is all you can eke out.
She lets go of you and looks at the folder. She exhales. "I'll read it over."
"We'll read it together," you offer. 
"When's work?" She wonders.
"Noon," you answer. Not work, per se. Just an obligation.
"Enough time for breakfast," she says. "My treat."
"Mom," you say.
"I know, I know. But I just want one last cinnamon bun before I go," she insists.
🦋
You're trembling. You haven't been able to stop since you left the apartment. You couldn't let your mom see the panic. She's already having a rough day.
You stand under the awning of the building, waiting. S drives up and you run out without pulling up your jacket hood. You feel in your pocket for the pamphlet.
You get in the car and flick the moisture from your cheeks. You gasp. "It's really coming down."
"You don't have an umbrella?" S says.
"Forgot," you shrug.
"Mm, well, looks like a day best spent inside. I was thinking, they got pretty good food at my hotel. We could have lunch."
You hesitate. The thought of his hotel room makes your stomach stir. You remember what he said. 'We'll see where it goes'. It's feeling more and more like there's only one way this goes.
"Sure, whatever you like." You sniff.
You buckle up and sit back. You tilt your head up.
"Long morning?" He asks as he pulls into the street.
"Yeah... a little."
"Bad news?" He asks cautiously.
"Mm, news... stuff to think about."
"Right," he steers on as the wipers swing back and forth. "Well, just relax. Once we get to the hotel, you can get dry and clear your head."
"Yeah. Thanks."
You close your eyes, content to let the rain and the motion soothe you. It's a moment to prepare yourself.. Maybe once you tell him, he'll change his mind.
When the car stops, you snap up as if you were sleeping. Your mind slows as the world does the same. S smiles at you and reaches behind your seat. He grabs an umbrella out of the back.
He gets out, shielding himself from the downpour, and comes around to open your door. He walks you up to the hotel doors and folds up the umbrella before he enters the lobby. He points you to the elevators.
"Got some work done this morning," he proclaims as you get on. "You were asking about my company."
"Oh, right. I was. Curious, I guess. I don't know anyone who owns one."
"You do now," he chuckles. "It's not as glamourous as it seems. This is as much time as I've had to myself in... a decade?"
"Really?"
"Not to complain. I mean, certain things I don't have to worry about. It's not a bad life. Solitary," he shrugs and the doors open.
He guides you along the hallway to his suite door. He lets you in ahead of him. He puts the umbrella in the tall vase by the door.
You unzip your jacket and hang it. You look down at your jeans. They're soaked. You rub the damp fabric.
"I got a spare robe in here, if you want to let those dry," he says.
"Sure, uh, probably," you agree.
He takes off his shoes and you step out of your boots. You linger by the door, shyly glancing into the suite. He stands up and combs his fingers through his hair.
"I'll get the room service menu," he grins and struts away. "Make yourself at home."
As he looks around, you reach into your jacket pocket. You hide the pamphlet behind your back, clasping your wrist tight, and tiptoe further inside. He waves the laminated menu at you.
"Right here," he puts it on the small round table between two chairs. "I'll get that robe."
"Sure."
You wait, reluctant at the edge of the sitting room. A couch and a clamshell chair in velvet. It's all so nice.
He comes back in.
"If you want to change before you make up your mind--"
"Uh huh, yeah."
You keep the pamphlet behind you and take the robe. He points you to the bathroom and you scurry into it. You lock yourself inside and strip off the wet jeans. The texture leaves your skin itchy. Ugh.
You hang them on the bar meant for towels and pull on the robe. It's soft and roomy. You tuck the pamphlet into the pocket and face the door.
You emerge as S sits at the table. You walk carefully, paranoid that the robe might fall open despite the tight knot around the middle. You sit down and lean over to read the menu. It's a good distraction.
"I recommend the mac and cheese, as simple as it sounds," he taps with his finger.
"Oh, I like mac and cheese," you say.
You continue your perusal. You'll probably just go with what he says. Your appetite is lost in the storm of your inside.
"So, uh, did you bring that bill?"
You sit up stiffly and blink at him. Your hand goes to the pocket of the robe. You gape at him. How do you do this?
"We can wait--"
"No, I can't. Not-- no. Because..." you stammer as your heart races. "Because it's... it's too much and... you can say no and... I'll be okay. My mom will be okay. I'll figure it out. I will."
"Woah, woah, sweetheart," he gets up and comes around the table. He gets down to his knees as he puts his hands on your arms, his thumbs caressing you. "It's alright. I asked you to--"
"No, no," you jitter as you reach in the pocket and slide out the pamphlet, slightly damp from the rain. "It's... it's more... it's..." you look down at the paper as you clutch it in your hands. "The doctor said it will be good but..."
He drags his hands down your arms to your hands. He eases the pamphlet free. He sits back on his heels and opens it. He reads it over as you cover your face.
"I think I should go--"
"I can do it," he says calmly. "One hundred? Easy."
"One hundred thousand!" You drop your hands. "S!"
"It's just money. This isn't about that. It's about your mom, isn't it?"
You stare at him. You don't understand how he can be so generous. It's just take, take, take, and you have nothing to give. And the more he gives, the more you depend on it. The hole only gets deeper and deeper.
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cecillias-garden · 2 years ago
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Im thinking a lot about LOA this morning, in part thanks to @creature-wizard and their posts about the subject, and I think there are a lot of you in the tags that may be very hurt by what your seeing, but I want to talk as someone who practiced loa for a time, and has since moved on to other practices, other ideas.
A lot has been said about the appeal of LOA and other forms of "new age" mysticism for those who are in hard times, for those who are struggling and looking for hope, but there's an underlying central idea to New Age mysticism that I think needs to be touched on - one that I think a lot of us have trouble talking about.
The idea that the nature and the universe is fundamentally good.
We see it in the way "all natural" remedies are pushed, in the way that positive thinking and manifesting is sold as a way to be in-tune with the fundamental peace and understanding of the universe. We're told that being in-tune with the good intentions of the universe as the solution to our troubles. Let go and float downstream. Ask and you shall receive.
But all of this relies on that good intent to be real.
All of it relies on their being a structure, guidance.
We think we need that structure to make sense of all of the chaos around us.
Even recently it gets hard for me not to fall into the trap of magical thinking of aligning one's self with the intentions of the universe, to be one with God or source or whatever you may call it, but I'm sorry to say that these "intentions", this alignment, isn't real.
Hardships will come to you. They will hit you when you least expect it. They will hit you when you least deserve it. Some will be natural, and others manmade. They will come and it will hurt. God, it will hurt. I should know, I've seen it. I've felt it. I've lived it, and no amount of alignment or spiritual thinking was enough.
It is not the job of the universe or any god to shield us from hardship. It is not up to any movement to ensure our happiness. Happiness is something to be made for ourselves, in spite of our struggles. Its up to us to separate ourselves from what we think we deserve, and work instead towards what we want one step at a time.
It isn't going to be easy.
I'm fact, I'm afraid it will be quite difficult.
But there is hope without LOA. You can find that hope everywhere you go.
We are humans, a social species meant to rely on each other.
Let others rely on you, and allow yourself to rely on them when you need it.
And if you are to practice any sort of spirituality, understand this:
The goal of spiritual practice is in the practice, not the result. If you like meditation, if you like casting spells or feel good when you pray, keep doing that.
The goal of this post is by no means to cast doubt on spiritually as a whole.
Instead, think of it as a gentle warning, from someone who may have once been like you.
LOA advocates will claim you need the practice to be happy. They will tell you that things are so very simple. They will tell you that all you need is to align yourself with your happiness and everything will be okay.
You deserve better than that. You deserve the truth. You deserve to be able to look the world in the eye.
Happiness is something that each and every one of us has to discover for themselves. There are places to start - setting strong boundaries, setting goals, and finding fulfillment through whatever work or play we might enjoy. But you don't need someone to tell you how to be happy, and that includes myself. All I ask is that you listen to what others are saying, and understand why loa can be so harmful. There's a lot of nuance to the world and how things work, but if you made it this far... I think you can find yourself on a pretty good path.
I will give one parting gift that helps me. Take it if you want, but you don't need to if it doesn't fit with you. Its just a phrase that I find helpful whenever things go wrong:
"Well, that sucked. Now how can we make it better?"
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lesbian-jonesy · 2 months ago
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Hello tumblr!!
After much debate, I’ve decided to make my own blog to write down my thoughts. I’ve been here for a while actually, lurking and helping where I can.
You can expect musings of mine, I might even share some old memories from the lesbiverse while I’m here!
I don’t got much on my plate, so feel free to bother me. I know a few people here in this reality, but I’d love to meet more of you!
-About Me!-
I’m Jane Jean Jones. Not many people use my first name, a lot of folks around here call me Lesbian Jonesy or JJ. Either is fine… I’d prefer not to be called Jane, unless we’re close. Any pronouns are fine for me.
I come from a reality like this one, I have my own Hope, my own Valeria, Midas… apparently even my own Big Dill…? The only key difference is that we’re all, well, lesbians! Definitely nothing else is different! Nothing!
I’d like to think of myself as a retired hero of sorts, hell this stuff is exhausting and I’m not even doing much here! But always happy to help if asked.
-Tags!-
It’s good to be organized, so I’ll try my best to do just that! These tags should help guide you (and myself) through the blog.
#Pondering—>text posts of mine
#Letters to the lesbian—> asks
#Replies—> replies to posts!
#Great stuff—> reblogs of stuff I like!
#So me—> reblogs that are, so me!
More to come! I’ll make sure to add them when I come up with new tags.
-Extras-
(I’ll put links to anything extra, like playlists.. yeah that’s it. I have a few already but I want to add more to the ones I made for our favorite loser lesbian.)
—Rules, Mun info—
(It should be obvious when either me, the mun, is talking or when Lesbian Jonesy is talking. Let me know if it’s not! Usually lots of words in parentheses or //in the tags is when I’m talking. I might color code it at some point but… who car rn!)
(Pretty simple rules, I’d prefer to keep weird comments to a minimum (ie, homophobia, calling all this weird, etc) and if you’re a minor NOT to flirt with Lesbian Jonesy AT ALL. I haven’t roleplayed in like 2000 years and I don’t want to be made uncomfortable (again). Please be respectful, and if you have questions about what and what isn’t respectful, you can always ask first!)
(No explicit asks, like sexual asks, extreme gore, racism, xenophobia, all that. Lesbian Jonesy is sort of a joke character, just be cool and fun with my precious Jonesy OC 💔💔)
(The mun in question is. Well me. LesbianJonesy, AKA Jay. I’m an adult, you can use She/her for me. Fun asks are encouraged, and most rp is probably going to be done between me, myself and I. But!!! Always open to goofing off with others!)
—————————
Hope to hear from you all soon!
-🧡🤍🩷
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snowblossomreads · 2 years ago
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Day 18: Blankets and Snuggles
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Pairing: Sinclair Bryant x Fem!Reader
Summary: In where Y/n and Sinclair are now dating and continue their baking tradition from the previous year.
Tag(s)/Warning(s): baking and eating, snuggles and kisses, sweet treats and hugs, just everything warm and fuzzy in this one folks!
Word Count: 2.3K
A/N: I'm back with more Sinclair LOL. He has been getting a lot of love and it's what he deserves 😣😣 So enjoy as he finally gets to have his snacks in peace with his favourite person (y/n aka you bc you are a lovely human being ! yeah that's right i'm talking to you person that's reading this 🥰🥰)
"Where have you been [Y/n]?! I've been waiting all day for you, worried sick about where you’d gone off to," Sinclair complained as he watched her take her coat and boots off to not track mud in his home. "You can't tell me you're going to come and bake with me and then not tell me when. It is a crime you know!" He huffed, as he followed her into the kitchen like a lost puppy who had finally found its owner.
"A crime? Really?" She teased, amusement bubbling up in her chest as she went to put the bag of supplies that she had bought with her on the kitchen counter.
Turning around, she saw the slight pout on his thin lips, and she couldn't stifle the giggle at how dejected he looked. This only made his frown grow deeper. Of course Sinclair would be the one to get upset when he was promised snacks and didn't get them on time. But honestly, who wouldn’t be?
"It is! See, this is why you should move in with me," he explained while [Y/n] meandered towards him and threw her arms around his waist in a hug. She swayed side as she looked up at him and how his eyes were bright and passionate as he laid out his reasoning. "Then you can always be around, and we can cook together and cuddle, lots of cuddles! And then you don't have to come out in this dreadful weather when you visit me. Because you'll already be with me! Doesn't that sound nice?"
"It does, but it also sounds like some sort of ploy though! I bet it's just because you want me to bake my world-famous cookies for you every week, innit?"
"Hmph of course not! You know I can have more than food on my mind when it comes to you," he sulked for a moment before his exuberant energy returned. “Though you do make wonderful cookies! And I love them. But I love you more!"
"Aww I love you too Sinclair," she squealed as he kissed her all over her face to prove how much he loved her. "And I know love, I'm just teasing! I know that brilliant mind of yours is always working on something," she beamed causing him to radiate, proud at how much his mind really did work. "But I don't know, my contract isn't up yet for my flat and I want to stay until it's over," she explained, and she could see the sad look that reappeared on his features which made her heart also feel a bit blue. "Buuuut," she drawled out, causing his attention to perk up. "How about we bake and you try to convince me why moving in with you is a good idea. And maybe just maybe I'll give it some more consideration."
"Deal!" He shouted with a grin. "Well, come on what are we waiting for? Let's start because I'm starving!"
Unwrapping themselves from each other, [Y/n] and Sinclair continued their newly instated tradition of baking each year for the holidays. It had started the year before when she had come to spread some cheer on his first post-divorce holiday. One thing led to another and well, not only did they have a new tradition but they had a new relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend!
Last year was gingerbread cookies, and this year would be the same though with some additional ones. Snickerdoodle and thumbprint cookies! All of them were pretty simple to make considering they had the same base just with some extra things done to them in the middle, and she thought it a fun project for them both.
Of course, she had to keep Sinclair from eating the raw pastry again but that was par for the course.
"It smells so nice," he whined as she quickly took the mixing bowl from him. "If it smells nice why can't I eat it!"
"Sinclair please no! Remember what I told you last time and all the other times! I don't want to bring you to hospital if you get sick from eating raw pastry," she chided in good nature before turning back to him and seeing he was up to mischief again. "Hey wait that's for the thumbprint cookies," she laughed as she watched him spooned a bit of jam from the glass container and put it in his mouth.
"We have plenty for them though!" He replied, voice muffled by the spoon still in his mouth.
"Well Mr. Jam man! How about you add some to those cookies, and then you can continue nicking the rest of it," she snickered, as she watched him give her a thumbs up before beginning his mission of jamming the cookies.
It was his duty after all as jam man.
During all that prep, he also listed off all the reasons she should stay with him starting off with the obvious as he stated.
"You can spend time with me, I can spend time with you, I can cook for you, you can cook for me," he rambled on plopping jam in the cookies while stealing some of it for himself. "We can cuddle every day. Oh, I can drive you to work too so you don't have to take the Tube, that means more time together- I said that already didn't I?"
"Yes, yes you did," [Y/n] laughed as she rolled balls of dough in the cinnamon sugar to make the snickerdoodle cookies. "I'm getting a lot of 'we can spend time together' as your reasoning."
"There's nothing wrong with that is it?” He asked, pausing from his jam duties. "I like spending time with you, we always have fun even if we are just here doing nothing."
"Nope, nothing wrong at all! And I do also love our time together, my cheeks always hurt afterwards and in a good way!"
They both turned to look at each other, a bright smile on their lips as they mulled over how much they adored being with one another at every chance they got. Huh…maybe it wouldn't be so bad moving in…she did love the energy he had and of course Sinclair himself. So would it be so bad to share a space with him?
'Hm.'
She pondered some more as they continued to finish prepping all the cookies, chatting all through the process as he continued to list off more reasons she should live with him. After they had set a batch of them in the oven, and wrapped up the leftovers, they were startled by the doorbell ringing. 
"I'll get it!" [Y/n] exclaimed bounding out of the kitchen before Sinclair could say anything, leaving him with baking cookies that smelled terrific and made his stomach grumble.
Cookies for lunch what a wonderful thing!
"Okay I know what you're thinking Sinclair," [Y/n]'s voice floated into the room yet he couldn't see her. "'Cookies for lunch! Wonderful!' Well you know I love that but," she appeared with a pizza box in hand and he could have sworn he had fallen even harder in love with her than he thought possible. “I need something a little more substantial so forgive me for ordering pizza before I got here and don't you dare try to pay me back!”
His eyes sparkled as he approached her, or more like bounded towards her, and she only had a second to lift the box in her hand away from her chest before Sinclair was pressed against her and raining more kisses upon her.
“Oh! I love you so much my magical food fairy!” He blurted, squeezing her in a tight hug that had her breathless, yet she couldn't stop the laughter that escaped her at his enthusiasm. “You're just absolutely wonderful, you know that? God do I love you! You always know just how to make my day!”
“Haha well if cheap pizza and cookies make you happy then I'm in luck because I can afford those every week,” she teased as he pressed his lips against hers, cutting her off with a smile as they kissed. “But I don't think our blood work would approve,” she giggled breathlessly when he pulled away.
‘Ding!’
The sound of the timer on top of the oven went off, signalling that the cookies were done, and also that it was time for them to taste the fruits of their labour.
“Perfect everything is done let's dig in!” Sinclair announced as he let [Y/n] go, enthusiastic about the snacks that they now had. “I’ll bring the plates and cookies you go get comfy in the living room okay?”
Giving him a thumbs up and an ecstatic ‘okay’, she scampered off to get everything nice and cosy on the couch for their meal of junk that was oh so delicious with each other.
The cheap pizza was a hit with both of them as they chatted and laughed while a silly Christmas movie played on the TV. It served as background noise mainly as the two had more than enough to talk about. 
After the meal had been devoured, and everything but the cookies were put up, they found themselves snuggled tight in blankets wrapped around them on the couch as food coma from earlier began to sit in. Her legs were tangled in between Sinclair’s, and her body pressed against his as she lazily played with his hair.
There was a drowsy smile on his lips that was so cute! So much so, that she couldn't resist the urge to lean up a little and give him a soft peck.
“Sinclair,” she whispered against his lips, pulling away and blowing some of his golden hair away from his face causing him to hum softly. 
“I love you very much, you know that right?” She asked in a whisper as she kissed his cheek before she gazed at his sleepy but happy expression.
“Mhmm of course I do,” he replied. "You wouldn’t have come baked with me if you didn’t? And the pizza? You must love me if you brought me pizza [Y/n] it’s a scientific fact.”
His amber eyes squinted at her question as he was very much falling asleep, yet they were still vibrant and conveyed a joyful emotion that was not dulled by drowsiness. She could also see the odd speck of dark green or grey around his eyes that sometimes made them look hazel when the light hit them just right. Gosh was he a work of wonder! How could one person be so handsome, brilliant, and kind all in one? He was like a dream.
“Weeell,” she drawled, playing with the cosy jumper he had been wearing all day that was so soft against her fingertips. “Do you love me?”
Perking up at that question, he leaned down until the tips of their noses touched and he gently rubbed them together causing her to giggle. “Of course I do! You’re my favourite person in the world! Plus you don’t get mad at me when I go and talk your ear off even if what I’m saying is boring to you.”
She grinned, 
“Of course I’m going to listen to you ‘Clair, you deserve to be listened to,” she smiled. "Even though sometimes I have no clue what you’re talking about,” she added making Sinclair nip at her noise like a puppy giving a warning nip. 
It caused her to shriek with laughter and he did it again. However, this time he laid on top of her and wrapped his arms tight around her in a warm hug that caused her to snuggle closer to him underneath the blankets. Their breathy laughter filled the air as they kissed once more while [Y/n] also stroked his cheek as his warm lips captured hers briefly. 
She could get used to this. The cuddling with him every day, kissing him when he went to work and came back. And really anytime truthfully. And him of course, she could get used to waking up and going to sleep in his arms. Honestly, it sounded like a good life. When they pulled away, Sinclair noted the shine in her eyes and his heart began to beat faster as she always got that shine in her eyes when good news was on its way. 
“Well, I guess because I love you so much, and you love me so much I well..maybe it won’t hurt too much for me to move in with you. I could get used to all this cuddling you know?”
It took him a moment to process what she had said, but when he did, a loud shout of joy flew from his lips and almost deafened her. But it was worth the way his entire face brightened and his eyes lit up as if he wasn’t about to fall asleep just a moment ago.
“[Y/n]! This is brilliant, wonderful, oh you’re so wonderful, do you know that?” He asked as he squeezed her tight and made her laugh the sweet sound he loved to hear. “Oh I’m so happy okay we need to get movers, and we can get your stuff here! And your lease, do you want to terminate it early? I know it might cost a bit so if you need any help I’m happy to pay for the fees since I’m making you move. And oh I need to clean the closet so you can have room!”
She watched with a tiny grin as he listed off the things that they would need to do so they could get ready for her move and she couldn’t help the fluttering in her stomach. He was so lovely. And with each little thing he added to their list with enthusiasm, she couldn’t stop how warm her heart felt.
Maybe it knew she had made the right decision, and the thought of it only made her happier as she listened with a sleepy smile to her new roommate's rambling.
A/N: All Sinclair needs is snacks and his girlfriend and he's a happy puppy! Who wouldn't want a man like him 😉😉 I hope everyone gets to have some snacks this holiday and if not, let me know so i can send Sinclair over with cookies!!
Tags: @mercurial-make-em-ups, @deepperplexity
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