#i should have made a kitchen instead of a aquarium... oops

[bitsnbolts]

first floor of my basement... yippee. lighting is still a bit off because i need glowstone to finish it. second level will have my nether portal, a automatic sheep shearing farm and some chickens to collect eggs.

[image description: a trio of screenshots from the game minecraft, all perspectives of the same basement build. the first is zoomed out and contains the entire build, the second and third and focusing on the different sides. there is a ladder going up to the entrance, with the entry sourrounded by stone bricks. stone bricks create a path going down the center of the build to the ladder that leads to floor two. they also outline the first row of the floor and ceiling. the floor and ceiling between the stone bricks is oak planks. the walls are polished andesite for the first row and spruce planks between them, they are modded and look more like small bricks than the vanilla planks texture. one wall is entirely covered by a automatic sugarcane farm made up of spruce logs and dark oak planks. there is a painting of a tree with pink leaves on the wall opposite it. the other wall contains a red bed sitting ontop of a bunk-bed like structure made of dark oak planks. underneath it is a stonecutter, smithing table, juke box, and a single chest. next to it is a space for smokers, furnaces, and blast furnaces, with a brewing stand ontop of a crafting table set into the wall as well. there is a painting of a wither rose in grassy hills. the final part of the build is a small aquarium made up of the various prismarine blocks, with glass showing the inside. the aquarium floor is sand and is dotted with seagrass, kelp, and various colors of coral. it is full of modded, brightly colored fish. end ID]

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Travel To My Heart (K.SJ)

Warnings : mentions of cheating, a failing relationship, talk about a club

Word Count : 3030

Synopsis : she only meant to travel for a month and find herself before returning to her boyfriend, but instead she left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

“My travel buddy, I’ll help you find yourself; I promise.” He smiled, holding his pinky out towards me. I linked my pinky with his, smiling back.

           “I’ll help you have a breath of fresh air; I promise.”

           “I have to work late.” Namjoon gave me a quick kiss goodbye, leaving without another word. I looked through all the pictures I took on my vacation, most of them being of the handsome man I met on the plane. The man who made me realize just how wrong my relationship with Namjoon is. When I left, I wanted to work everything out, fix the things that were wrong and come out stronger than before. But meeting Kim Seokjin changed everything.

           “I figured you’d be hungry after your nap.” My eyes were wide as I scanned all the dishes set out on the table of our Airbnb.

           “You made all of this?” I asked, looking over to Jin as I took a seat across from him. He nodded sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even know where to start, everything looks delicious.” I exclaimed as I grabbed the chopsticks next to my bowl of rice.

           “Try this.” He said, taking some food with his chopsticks and placing on top of my rice. I smiled at him as I took it in my own chopsticks and placed it in my mouth, practically moaning at how good it tasted.

           “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” I could see the blush rising to his cheeks at the compliment. He tried to hide it and dig into the food himself, but I noticed it and couldn’t help but smile at the affect I had on him. “You’ve got to cook more often during this trip.”

           “Deal.”

           I’m not sure exactly when it happened. When my feelings began to shift from platonic to romantic; maybe they were never platonic to begin with. All I knew is one morning I woke up in the same bed as him, the sun shining in through the window, illuminating his face, and I couldn’t help but to think about how handsome he was. His eyes had soon fluttered open, and a part of me believed he could hear the pounding of my heart and woke up. He smiled when he saw I was staring at him, and it took everything in me not to kiss him right in that moment. I had a boyfriend waiting for me back home.

           A smart person would have decided to end their trip then, go back home and reconcile with their significant other, but I stayed. I stayed for another 2 months with the man I was slowly falling for. I stayed and made memories that would last me a lifetime. Memories of laughter and smiles. Memories of waves crashing on the beach and hot chocolate moustaches.

           I swear I only meant to leave for a month to find who I am without Namjoon, our relationship starting in junior high and lasting all the way into adulthood. I swear I only meant to discover myself and return to his side, happy and in love. But instead I left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

           All the arguments and silent treatments started to have no effect on me. I no longer longed for the way things used to be, back when we first fell in love. Instead I longed for the man I walked away from. I longed for the late-night drives, singing at the top of our lungs completely out of tune. I longed for the lazy days in bed, watching dumb movies on his laptop with an array of snacks surrounding us. I longed for mornings waking up to his face and knowing everything was okay. I longed for Kim Seokjin.

           “What are you making?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the island. Jin looked up from the bowl he was mixing ingredients in for only a second before going back to what he was doing.

           “Brownies.” He answered simply with a smile on his face. “Want to help?” I perked up and quickly jumped off the stool and rushed to his side, ready to help. “You can start mixing the dry ingredients into that bowl.” He told me, pointing at a bowl on the counter, surrounded by bags of ingredients.

           “Oops.” I said after only a couple minutes. Jin stopped what he was doing to see what I had somehow messed up on. When I turned to face him, he immediately burst into laughter, seeing me covered in flour. I pouted as I grabbed another handful and threw it at him. “It’s not so funny now, is it?” I teased.

           “Oh you did it now, princess.” He smirked, and that’s how the food fight began. The entire kitchen, ourselves included, was covered in different ingredients meant to make brownies. The brownies never got made, but we sat on the floor, our backs up against the wall, and we laughed. We laughed until there was tears in our eyes and pains in our stomachs. We laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore, and then I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine.

           Namjoon came home late like he said he would, but it didn’t bother me like it used to. It didn’t matter to me if he was actually at work, or if he had met someone else. I almost didn’t notice the smell of perfume that I didn’t own. Our relationship was over a long time ago, but neither one of us wanted to let go. We worked so hard to get to where we are. We’d fought through so much to just let it all go.

           But it was time to let go. Which is why all my things were packed into suitcases and boxes. Which is why Yoongi was outside in his truck, waiting for me to say goodbye. “I guess this is for the best.” He said, taking in how empty the house looks. I wanted to cry, to have some kind of reaction to the end of 13-year long relationship. But I felt nothing. I was numb.

           “It is.” I answered, picking up a couple bags and heading out to put them in my best friend’s truck. Both Yoongi and Namjoon helped pack everything up. And as Yoongi got back into the driver’s seat, Namjoon and I stood in front of the door, saying our final goodbyes.

           “I guess this is goodbye.” I nodded, looking down at our feet before looking up at him again.

           “I hope you have a good life, Joon.”

           “I hope you do too, Y/N.” And with that, I got into Yoongi’s truck and Namjoon went into our, his, house.

           “How do you feel?” Yoongi asked as we pulled away, driving to his place that he was kind enough to let me crash at until I could get my own.

           “Good.” I smiled and looked over at him. “I feel good.”

           “Want to go to the aquarium?” Jin asked as we ate breakfast. My eyes went wide as I nodded as fast as I could. He chuckled, shaking his head at my enthusiasm, before clearing the table. “I’ll clean up, go get ready and we can head out.” I tried to protest, saying I should clean up since he cooked, but he wouldn’t have it. “I want to spoil you today.” He smiled, pushing me out of the kitchen. And he did.

           It was my first time at the aquarium, and I ran around like a little kid, pointing out all the fishes. I watched as Jin took pictures of me, saying something about how pretty I looked when I was excited. We got a couple strangers to take pretty pictures of the two of us as well. But Jin took the most pictures when we went to the area where we could touch different animals. I pet the stingrays and the starfish. I held on to every fact the instructor told us.

           I’m sure I talked Jin’s ear off for an hour when we went to dinner afterwards. But he just sat and stared as I went on and on, a smile on my face. He showed me some of the pictures he took, and I whined at how bad I looked. But he told me I was pretty in all of them.

           We got ice cream after dinner and walked around as the sun set on the horizon. “Thank you.” I said, throwing away my empty ice cream cup and sliding my hand into his.

           “Anything for you, princess.”

           I wanted to reach out to him, tell him things are over with Namjoon, tell him I love him. But I had no way how. Namjoon made me delete his number when I got home. We agreed to work things out, so he deleted the number of the girl he was seeing when I was gone, and I deleted Jin’s. A fresh start as Namjoon put it.

           Yoongi asked me if I wanted to just stay with him. He said his apartment felt more like home with me around and my stuff cluttering his shelves. It seemed more lived in, and he liked that feeling. He was gone a lot, working at the studio, or performing at some club. “It’s nice to come home and having it not feel so empty.” He told me, and so I stayed.

           Now that I was single, Yoongi would drag me to his performances. Namjoon and I went to a couple when Yoongi first started out, wanting to support his dream. But as our relationship got rocky and fights were more frequent, we stopped. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how large the crowd was, nearly tripling the amount when he first began.

           “I’m so proud of you.” I beamed at him as he got ready to go onstage. He tried to fight the smile and keep his reputation as cold-hearted Agust D, but he’s never been able to keep that façade around me.

           “Are you going to stay back here?” He asked as someone told him he was on in 5 minutes.

           “I want the full experience; it’s been too long. Besides, I saw the guys right at the front. I’ll join them.” He nodded and I took my leave, meeting the friends he introduced me to a few weeks prior in the front row.

           “Hey Y/N!” Jimin exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. I greeted all of them, excited to see my best friend on stage again.

           “You’ve come so far!” I exclaimed as the 6 of us walked down the block to a 24/7 diner for a celebratory dinner. “Like seriously, Yoongs, you were incredible. You were meant to be on stage!”

           “Oh shut up.” Yoongi said, but I could see the rose colour dusting his cheeks and the smile he was trying to hide.

           “The effect you have on Yoongi hyung is incredible.” Jungkook joked, playfully bumping Yoongi with his shoulder. I linked my arm through Yoongi’s as we walked, something I used to do when we were growing up, before Namjoon and I started dating.

           “I missed this.” I thought out loud, and the others just looked at Yoongi and I with small smiles dancing across their lips. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but that didn’t last long before the younger boys burst into stories of dumb decisions they’ve made. Hoseok and Yoongi joined in with some of their stories, and I just listened to all of them, hanging on to every word they all said, laughing along with them. And all I could think is that Jin would absolutely love them.

           Jin would join in with some of his own stories, making all of them laugh. He would critique the food as if he was a famous food critic, putting on a performance as he did it, accent, and all. He would join in the teasing of the other boys, but then make sure everyone had enough to eat before we left.

           Yes, Jin would get along well with my new friends and my best friend. He would make it seem like we’ve known each other for years. He would make all of us wonder how this hasn’t been the way it’s always been. Because everything would fall perfectly into place like this is the way it should have been.

           I wish I didn’t choose Namjoon over Seokjin all those months ago.

           One afternoon when Yoongi was at the studio, I decided to walk around, maybe find a quiet place to read and just get out of the apartment. I packed my book into my purse and put in my earbuds before leaving, bopping my head along to the music playing.

           I checked out a couple stores as I wandered before stumbling across a small café. Looking through the window, it seemed almost empty, but it was practically calling to me. A bell dinged when I opened the door, catching the attention of the barista behind the counter. I took in the rustic décor and smiled at the familiar scent of coffee. “Just an iced latte please, to stay.” I ordered, smiling softly at the teenager behind the counter.

           As I waited for my drink, I looked around, taking in the whole café. There were a few customers scattered about, some chit-chatting, some working. As I scanned over the tables, my eyes stopped on a familiar face, my heart skipping a beat. An entire beat. It’s like fate called out to me this warm afternoon and placed me here at the exact time Kim Seokjin would be here.

            I grabbed my finished drink, the book I was planning to read forgotten at the bottom of my purse, and confidently walked up to the man I’ve missed every single day since we returned from vacation. “Mind if I sit?” I asked, pointing at the empty chair across from him. He looked up from his laptop, eyes widening when he saw me standing in front of him.

           “Please do.” He smiled, closing his laptop, and putting it into his bag. Silence settled around us after I sat down, neither one of us knew what to say. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know where to start, or if he even wanted to hear my excuses for leaving him at the airport, walking away hand in hand with Namjoon. “How’ve you been?” He settled on small talk. But it’s better than nothing. It’s better than silence.

           “Good. I’ve been really good.” I smiled. “How’ve you been?”

           “Good.” The silence settled again. I hated how awkward things were. It was never like this between us, not even when we met on the plane, agreeing to travel around together.

           “Namjoon and I broke up.” I finally said. “Our relationship had been over for a while, I think. We both fell out of love but didn’t want to make the move to leave.” I continued, fiddling with my cup of coffee, the ice slowly melting and watering it down.

           “How do you feel about that?”

           “Honestly, relieved.” He let out a small chuckle.

           “You look great, like you’ve truly found yourself.” I looked down at what I was wearing. An outfit I never dared to wear when I was with Namjoon. I grew up with him, matured with him. And it seemed like we turned into each other, becoming one single person instead of separate identities in one relationship.

           “You helped a lot. But I think finally ending things and moving out was the final straw.” I didn’t let the silence settle around us again. Instead I jumped in and told him about Yoongi and his performances. I told him about Hoseok and Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook. I told him about all the antics they get up to and the adventures they’ve dragged me out on. I’ve done so many things I never dreamed of doing when I was with Namjoon, and I felt truly happy.

           But I stared ahead at the man I fell in love with in a foreign country, and he smiled softly as he listened to me talk about my new friends, and I knew I could be happier.

           He told me all the things he’s done since we got back. How he doesn’t put as much pressure on himself at work. All the new ideas he’s come up with that have been huge successes for his business and thanked me for helping him get out of his head.

           And I watched him talk, a small smile on my face. He seemed relaxed and happy. Things seemed to just fall back into place with us as we talked for hours, our previous plans long forgotten in each other’s company.

           It’s like we travelled back in time, back to a different country, sightseeing and getting lost but not caring. But instead we were in our home country, walking around under the stars since the café closed. Soon we were standing outside the apartment building I now lived in, but I didn’t want to say goodbye. “I want to see you again, Jin.” I said before he could turn to leave. “Namjoon made me delete your number.” I told him as I handed him my phone, an empty contact open for him to add in his number for a second time.

           “Anything for my princess.” He smiled, handing my phone back to me, his number saved once again. “I hope to see you soon.” I nodded and he left.

           I swear I only meant to leave for one month, find myself and return to Namjoon’s side and love him like I used to. Instead, I left for six months and fell in love with the perfect man.

           He meant to leave and get a breath of fresh air, travel the world, and get new ideas for his business. And while we travelled the world together, making memories that would last a lifetime, he travelled into my heart and made a home.

[achliegh]

Golden

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THANK :)

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 13:

Anchors Away

Clay was bored, wandering around the mall with nothing to do. Thomas was at practice, Noelle was at work at the aquarium. He was alone again and he really didn’t like it. Leo was busy cleaning the apartment for his mom who is showing up later tonight and Reg was hanging out at the rink.

Clay thought about going to the rink but everytime he goes for longer than 20 minutes he gets a head cold. He was walking past a recently closed store and heard faint music coming from inside. He walked in and noticed a small table set up with two men who were jokingly singing along to the song.

Clay took note of all the posters around the small store.

‘Feeling like you need a purpose in life?’ Yeah, he does. Everyone around him is doing actual things with their lives. Reg has started going to art school for errotic photography and portraits. Leo has been selling horses over video calls with rich clients and helping his mother set up times for the clients to go down and visit the horses at the ranch. Obviously, the hockey boys are playing hockey. Noelle is a year away from graduating and was recently promoted, and Clay just kind of existed…

Leo jokingly called him a houseboy when he mentioned how he just stays at home and cleans, now that's all he is ever called by Leo and Reg and it really makes Clay feel worthless. He knows they don’t mean anything by it but…. It still stings.

He moves on to the next poster. “Want financial benefits, healthcare, and more?”

That would be nice, to make his own money for once instead of his parents randomly filling his account with too much money. Something he knows he shouldn’t complain about but he wants to make a name for himself.

‘Join the U.S Navy.’ He paused, he doesn’t know a lot about his birth family, but he does know they were in the military. He has no clue which branch and he knows if he asked his parents they would help him in a heartbeat. But maybe this was a way to find out on his own.

He left the mall feeling lighter, a pep in his step.

He just enlisted in the navy. He was going to make something of himself and maybe even feel like he isn’t just watching his friends and partners pass him by.

Then it hit him, the one thing Leo and him promised each other they would never do is join the military. Because they both know how it fucks people up. Leo lost his uncle, and Clay’s dad lost his own father to PTSD from not having proper care after. Maybe he just screwed up…. But there was no going back now. He wouldn’t.

Walking in the house, Noelle was looking beautiful. She was wearing a pair of sweats rolled up twice at the waist and one of Clay’s old ratty t-shirts. Her curly hair was in her normal ponytail and she was putting on her sneakers. She looked tired from work.

Earlier in the week when Clay and Leo announced Eloise was coming to visit for a few days Noelle started stressing immediately. She has always worried about meeting parents because they always seem to dislike her when they first lay eyes on her, she blames it on her chronic RBF. Clay reassured her that Eloise would love her and actually already loves her from all the stories Clay has told her on her weekly calls.

Eloise was coming tonight, fuck! It was his birthday today and he forgot to mention it! Oops...

Thomas was sitting next to her, freshly showered in his own sweats and t-shirt looking relaxed, he was wearing some socks with little hamsters on them that Clay found for him a while ago. It made his heart jump and he felt his face stretch into a smile. He was scrolling through his phone and Thomas’ whole face opened up in a bright smile as soon as he saw Clay. He made Clay feel so special in a specific way, a way that is so different from how Noelle does and he loves them both.

He needs to tell them that.

“I have something to tell you guys… honestly, I don’t know how you will react but what's done is done.” He puts his hands in his jean pockets and taps the hell of his boots to the toe of his other boot. He was fidgeting and knew the other two noticed. It made him even more nervous.

“That doesn’t sound like good news.” Thomas looks at him a bit worried. His smile was still there but it fell slightly and Clay just wanted to fix it. He noticed Noelle had paused stomping on her shoes, oddly similar to Logan, it made him want to stop what he was going to say but… communication is important!

“Well, I first need you guys to promise me something, then I will make Finn and Logan promise the same thing when we see them because I know I will have to tell them.” He has to tell them, so they are ready for Leo just, not being okay.

And it was all gonna be Clay’s fault.

“What's the promise?” Noelle finishes putting on her shoe and looks up at him. She is trying her best to keep her face neutral but he could tell the wheels were turning in her brain.

“Do not tell Leo, I need to be the one to tell him… and I know he isn’t going to react well. Same goes for Reg but I will probably tell him a lot sooner than Leo.” He keeps on switching his feet that he is tapping and finally looks at them.

It’s now or never.

“I enlisted in the navy today.”

“Okay, Reg and I are going to pick up Ma and then we will be right back!” Leo has been all smiles all day. Finn knew he was close to his mom but this is just adorable.

“Drive safe!” Leo and Reg wave as they leave the apartment and as soon as the door closes Clay is standing in front of Finn and Logan who are snuggled together on the couch. Logan was wrapped up in Leo’s favorite blanket that his grandpa made for him before he passed away. It was a woven blanket with an image of Peanut on it. That blanket has seen Leo and Clay in their worst moments.

He was surprised Logan wasn’t scared of it given his fear of horses.

“Alright you two, I need to tell you something and it needs to be kept secret from Leo and Reg, if you so much as tell them a peep I will never forgive you. That will make family reunions super awkward.” Finn looks up from his phone where he and Logan were reading the comments on their latest tiktok on their joined account.

“Don’t look at me.” Finn raises his hand on surrender and looks at Logan who rolls his eyes annoyed and snatches Finn’s phone away to keep reading the comments.

“I enlisted in the navy-” Clay didn’t even get the full sentence out before Logan had thrown the phone down on the cushion next to him and Finn covered his mouth with his hand looking shocked.

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Mama!” Leo hugs Eloise tightly as she drops her bags to hug him back. “How was the flight?” He squeezes her tightly before noticing her new hearing aid is flashing is three blinks then a pause and three more blinks. “I think your hearing aid is dying. Make sure to charge them when we get home.” She either ignores him or doesn’t hear him even though she can normally hear him this close.

“Rick was a great pilot as always, even let me bring y’all some moonshine he made. It's watermelon and raspberry!.” Eloise pulls away after one last squeeze and sees Reg and her smile widens. “Reg! I’m so happy you’re here!” She waits for him to open his arms as an invitation to hug him so she knows he is comfortable with her touching him and she does as soon as he opens his arms. Tighter than she did Leo. “Have you been eating well? How about sleeping? Did you ever enroll in college?”

“Yes, yes and yes.” Reg can’t help but laugh when she picks him up still hugging him and sways him around. He isn’t used to this much affection from a mother figure but… they love it.

“I’m so proud of you for following your dream.” She pulls away and smiles at him with a sincere smile and brushes his hair back. “Your hair looks nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” Reg and Leo help her with her bags and pack them into the truck and drive the short way back to the apartment. Talking about everything and anything. The door man sends a wink Eloise’s way and she holds up her left hand where her wedding ring is. Letting him know she is taken. Walking up to the apartment they smell an odd smell through the door and everyone shares a look.

“I promise it doesn't normally smell this way unless… oh no.”

“What does that mean!?” She leans over to Reg to whisper as Leo fiddles with his key in the lock.

“It means Finn and Logan tried to cook something.” Reg whispers to Eloise as Leo opens the door, Clay was the first to greet them, smiling his million dollar smile he hugs Elosie so tight it surprises her.

“Hello Bluebell! I was surprised I didn’t see you at the airport. How are you doing sweetheart! Twenty years old today! You’re all growing up so fast.” She kisses his forehead and they pull apart. “You look good. Your mother wants you to call her later tonight so she can sing happy birthday.”

“It's your birthday!” Noelle pipes up and looks at Clay offended. “And you didn’t tell us!” He cringes before turning to her.

“Oh, I guess I forgot.” He walks over to her and kisses her cheek while Eloise puts her hand on her chest from just how cute they are.

“Seems like that should have been the first thing you told us this morning instead of, ‘ I feel like a jellyfish’.” Thomas laughs a little and kisses both Noelle and Clay’s cheeks. “So cute.”

“It slipped my mind!”

“Okay, what is that smell?” Leo leads Eloise towards the kitchen after she is done fawning over how cute those three are. Finn and Logan are suspiciously standing in the way of the countertop right next to the stove. “What are you hiding?”

Finn turns bright red and Logan looks anywhere but Leo. Eloise sets her purse on the counter and walks over to them, giving them both kisses on the cheek.

“What did you make us?”

“Well… we tried to make a cake from your cookbook-”

“It didn’t go very well.” They both move to the side to reveal a lopsided cake with some diluted frosting dripping off and random coconut flakes floating around on it. “Can you at least tell what it is?” Logan casually turned the plate so the ‘good side’ was facing Leo and Eloise.

“Umm… not really. Do you mind just telling us?” Eliose was examining the cake, trying to figure out what cinnamon cake she had in her cookbook. None that she can remember.

“Something called,” Finn walks over to the book and notices Clay and Reg standing to the side with their phones up and probably recording. “Divinity Cake.” The room was suddenly really still and quiet. Eloise looked like she was about to cry and Leo was just staring at the cake in shock.

Then Eloise brokedown in laughter, to the point where she was laughing so hard she was on the ground holding her stomach and crying. Finn and Logan were visibly confused and looked to Leo for an explanation, only to find him trying to conceal his laughter in the crooks of his arm.

“Oh my god! What is so funny?” Logan looks at the cookbook and then back at the cake. It looked terrible but they tried their best! They didn’t burn the house down at least.

“Oh my lovely lovely boys.” Leo wraps an arm around both their shoulders and pulls them in close so they are all cheek to cheek for a moment. “Divinity cake is usually cooked for your in-laws in the south.. To prove you are worthy of being a good wife.” explains through his laughing breaks. “This is amazing.”

Eloise eventually stands up and dabs her eyes so she doesn’t smear her makeup. Pulling the two embarrassed boys into a tight hug. “Y’all are so sweet. Thank you for the cake.” She gives them both sloppy kisses on the cheeks and then pats where she just kissed. “Alright I’m going to put my things in the guest room and then we can cook something up for y’all to eat.” She smiles and takes most of her bags to the guest room but forgets her purse. “Finn, would you be a dear and grab my purse for me?” She calls out and Finn being the sweetheart he is, grabs the bag and tries to take it with him as he walks past.

The bag won’t budge, Leo is watching with a smile on his face and his arms crossed. Finn tugs at the bag again and eventually gets it off the counter, it nearly knocks him over with how heavy it is. He scurried to Eloise’s room and gave it to her. She holds it like it’s nothing.

He makes his way back over to Leo and sinks into his chest, his face buried in his neck. Logan is still poking the cake, showing off just how gelatinous it is. Clay and Reg are comparing videos that they took and laughing at how they zoomed in on different faces. Sending them to each other.

“I’m sorry we messed up the cake.” Finn looks up at Leo and sees the sweetest little smile, showing his dimples off. Finn has noticed Leo’s tan from the summer is fading and it is making the small scar across his nose more prominent. It was cute.

“Honestly, it’s better than anything else y’all have made. Plus, now Mama can teach you how to make it the right way for the next time she visits.” Leo kisses his eyebrow and wraps his arms around him as Finn pouts even more. Logan eventually makes his way over and rests his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“Maybe it still tastes good?” He closes his eyes and rubs his cheek on Leo’s soft shirt and tough shoulder, massaging his jaw muscles. His arms are crossed.

“We can try it afte Mama and I make some food, how about y’all pick out what you want so she can put on her mini cooking show.” Leo feels the boys lean off of him and smiles as he watches them pour over each page of the book looking for a meal they want.

“Alright, I’m ready to cook.” Eloise comes back into the room and gathers everyone so they are sitting on the other side of the counter, unless they are Reg or Leo because they are allowed to help cook. Finn and Noelle have taken the two seats while Clay and Thomas are on either side of them watching and Logan is in between them.

They all watch as Eloise explains what she is doing in hopes it helps them understand and make them want to try and make this on their own. Logan gets in trouble for focusing on Leo instead of what she is teaching and she gives him a smirk.

“You remind me a lot of Wyatt, you know that? Around the same height too.” She smiles as she fiddles with her ring after she washed her hands to get the rest of the flour off her hands. Leo is watching the food in the oven as he leans against the counter and nods in agreement with her.

“I do?” Logan looks at her a little confused, he sadly never got the chance to meet Wyatt but he always pictured him as more of the strong and silent type who was also tall, giving Leo his extra few inches of height.

“He was 5’10 and the sweetest man I have ever met, he was goofy and carefree like Finn and always had this hard look in his eyes like you do. Unless he was looking at Leo or I, or in your case Leo. Please don’t look at me like that.” Leo snorts and smiles.

“That would be kinda weird.” He turns his head over his shoulder and smiles at his boys. “Why don’t we tell them some stories about dad? I never really talk about him because… well, it still hurts.” Eloise smiles a little sad at her son and gives his arm a comforting squeeze. Her love language.

“Well, he was in the air force.” She notices Clay looking away, Noelle suddenly looks uncomfortable and Thomas looks a little sad. Something was off. “He and his twin brother Wess joined at the same time, and flew fighter jets together. His brother was shot down and Wyatt made Leo promise to never join. After he came back he vowed to never leave again. He kept his promise.” She smiles at the image of him coming home still fresh in her mind. “He was in love with music, sometimes I think he loved music more than us. He tried to get Leo to learn how to play instruments but the poor boy is so tone deaf he couldn’t figure anything out.” She laughs a little as Leo smiles. “I remember when Leo was being taught the guitar Wyatt would be thrown into laughing fits when Leo would play the wrong chords and smile up at him like he just did something.”

“I thought I did!” Leo laughs a little and turns around to face everyone else. “Look It took me forever to learn rhythm, and now I can dance like there is no tomorrow… still can’t sing though.”

“Ahmen!” Clay pipes up and ducks as Leo throws a spoon at him.

“Shut up!”

“Wyatt did manage to teach Clay how to play fiddle somehow, do you still play?” Eloise checks the food in the oven and determines it's not done.

“I haven’t played since… yeah I haven’t played in a while.”

“He was so proud of you. Wyatt was also a sportsman. He loved sports, especially baseball. So when Leo came home and told Wyatt he joined the team, they went out back and played catch for, I don’t know, hours.”

“My arm was sore the next day.”

“He came to every single game of Leo’s besides one, and was his biggest fan. He made shirts with Leo’s player picture on them and wore them to every game. No matter how many times Leo begged him not to!” The timer goes off and Reg gets the food out of the oven.

“Is this done?” He asks, Eloise comes over to check and nods.

“Looks good! How about we eat?” She smiles and has everyone line up so she can dish it out for them.

Thomas and Noelle are getting ready to leave when Eloise asks Clay to join her outside. He gives them a worried look but follows her. Outside is cold, and there is a bit of snow on the railing of the balcony.

“Talk to me Clayton, something is wrong, I noticed it earlier.” She looks at him and taps her foot as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Clayton.”

“I joined the navy, and I haven’t told Leo, and I ask that you don’t tell him either because he needs to hear this from me.” He is looking out at the traffic below so he doesn’t have to watch her face. He knows she is upset with him.

“Is that what you really want to do?” She walks up next to him and joins him in looking at the traffic. Clay has always admired how strong Eloise is, she has been through a hell of a lot and still has this calm and stable energy.

“Yes.”

“Then you made the right choice.” She turns and looks at him, smiling in a way that he knows is trying to hide her sadness. She ruffles his hair as he finishes his cig and puts it out on the bottom of his boot. “Have you told Noelle and Thomas?”

“Yeah.” He knows his short answers sound hostile but he wants to be away from this conversation.

“They support you?” She always makes sure he has support, it hurts sometimes. Like he can’t just get support himself and he always needs help.

“Yes.” She nods and walks back towards the door.

“Then you better spend as much time with them as you can.” She goes inside, leaving Clay to think about everything by himself.

It was dangerous.

He walks back inside and they leave. Noelle turns around from the passenger seat and smirks at Clay. He was in for a fun night.

“I’m off to bed boys, we have a busy day tomorrow!” Elosie kisses her boy's cheeks and walks to her room.

“I like you mom.” Logan says as he tackles Leo to the ground straddling his back with his scented markets in hand. He tugs at Leo’s shirt, he complies and takes it off. Logan has been dying to do this all day.

“I hope not too much!” Leo crosses his arms under his head until Finn sits down next to him and he pulls his thigh so it's underneath Leo’s head. Leo shivers as the cold marker hits his skin and Logan begins coloring.

“What other stories do you have about Wyatt?” Finn rubs his fingers over Leo’s short hair that has really grown out over the past month, it was starting to curl at the ends making Leo look sweet.

“He used to read to me when I was little, then when I was able to read I would read to him until he fell asleep and started snoring.” Leo smiles and Finn can feel it on his leg. “He was also my coach for little league baseball for a bit and he was great but not everyone liked that he was my dad. Other parents thought I was getting special treatment. Also he would argue with the umpires and get in trouble!” Leo bursts out laughing and Logan gorans.

“Leoooooooooo! Be still!” Leo calms down and lets Logan keep coloring the flowers of his back piece.

“Sorry sorry, I just remembered when he got kicked out of a game because an umpire called Clay out when he was safe. It was hilarious. He called the umpire a muppet.” Smiling Leo yawns and blinks a few times.

“You can fall asleep, we will wake you up and go to bed when Logan finishes.” Finn is scrolling on his phone and is petting Leo’s head as he feels it get heavier with sleep. Finn looks up at Logan after making sure Leo is asleep.

“We need to tell him we love him.”

“Yeah, we do.” They smile at each other and share a peck before going back to what they were doing.

The next morning Finn and Logan wake up with a Leo sized dent in the bed and not Leo. They wander out to the kitchen and get smacked in the face with the smell of blueberry pancakes. They float into the kitchen and smile at the sight. Eloise has her hair in curlers and is in a thick grey robe and Leo’s sweatpants because she doesn’t own a pair. Her face is free of makeup and it shows how well she has taken care of her skin over the years. She is flipping a couple of pancakes while Leo sips on some apple juice. Just chatting away about the plan for today.

“Okay so after family skate is the party at Pascal and Celeste’s.”

“I won’t be at family skate dear, I have some work to do today.” She puts the last pancake on a plate, making sure that each plate has two, she takes two plates over to the table while Leo carries the other two.

“Ma, you promised me you wouldn’t work while you were here.” He sighs and sets the plates down. He sighs and sits down, not noticing the other two people in the room, he starts poking at his pancakes with his cheek on his hand and elbow on the table. Sulking.

“I know sweetheart but these people are someone who your Daddy tried to sell to for years. They plan to get two mares and then I will be at the party. On time. I promise.” She puts the dishes from cooking in the sink and fills the pancake batter bowl with hot water before grabbing her cup of coffee and walking over to sit next to Leo.

Logan and Finn share a look. They shouldn’t be listening to this.

“Okay but, just please be there towards the beginning of the party. I want to introduce you to my-... the team.” Leo furrows his brow not understanding why he about called the lions his team, when he doesn’t even play hockey.

“I will try my best, Merigold.” She pats his hand and Logan and Finn make their entrance, yawning and stretching as they walk over to the table. “Morning boys.”

“Morning!” Finn smacks a kiss on Leo’s temple as he walks past and Logan does the same, taking their seats and chowing down.

Later that day Eloise was putting her hair in a ponytail as she checked to make sure there were no creases in her uniform. Well, it's not a uniform but what she likes her and Leo to wear when they go to sell.

A black tall-neck turtle neck with long sleeves and tight to the body. Some khaki colored riding pants with tall back socks and brown riding boots. Professional yet comfortable. She was selling to the Malfoy family today, the father is buying these mares for his sons wedding coming up. She is still convinced that they only want their mares because Wyatt is gone, making Knut horses more desirable.

They were in contact with Wyatt for years and were not very nice. She knows she needs to make this sale though. Walking out to the living room to grab her purse she sees Leo moping on the couch by himself. She sighs out of her nose, walking over to him and petting the top of his head.

“I promise I will be there tonight, with moonshine.” She smiles as Leo rolls his eyes.

“I trust you.” Then he stood and gave her good luck and a hug before walking back to his bedroom… not the master bedroom. She takes a deep breath and leaves the apartment.

The rink was cold, Leo was bundled up in his new coat, hat and gloves while rocking his normal jeans and boots. His brand new skates were in hand, not broken in so he was wearing two pairs of tall socks just to help against blisters. Clay actually owned a pair of skates and has been skating since he was younger because he has family in Montana that he would visit for the holidays.

Jerk.

Leo was sitting in Finn's stall just trying to stay warm while he watched Noelle tie one of Clay’s skates and Thomas tie the other. Leo had to admit, he was so happy for Clay, seeing him with that sappy smile makes Leo know that he’s okay. He never smiled like that with Ashley.

Logan walks over to him, completely ready to skate and looking good. He was wearing his favorite well worn sweats and Leo’s new thrifted sweater that was dark green, showing off his eyes. He was wearing his normal cap backwards and Leo has always found it funny that Logan will never wear a hat forwards.

“Ready to get laced up?” Leo nods and holds out a skate to Logan. “You’re very quiet right now, are you that cold?” Leo just narrows his eyes and gives a short nod. Logan shows him how to lace up and once his other skate is on he stands up and nearly falls over.

“This is going to be terrible… is there a dentist nearby? I have a tendency to fall teeth first into the ground.” Licking over his chipped tooth absentmindedly he looks around. There were kids running around in skates and jumping into other players arms. He smiles a bit and rests his elbow on Logan’s head who is wear much more worn down skates so Leo is a fucking giant to him. “You’re the perfect height.”

“Yeah yeah, lets watch you try and walk. Then we can find Finn who I’m guessing is talking to Syd.” Logan helps Leo take a few steps knowing Leo has no balance at all. In skates or not. He has witnessed this name trip over nothing.

“Whose Syd?” Leo starts walking on his own and feels like this isn’t so bad.

“My oldest sister. Aubry is here too. They also play professional hockey. So… don’t get on their bad sides.” Leo stops walking.

“You never mentioned your sisters will be here! I thought I was meeting them when we go to visit your parents in a week! Oh boy… Do they know about you and Finn?” Leo continues walking after Logan grabs his hand and leads him out of the tunnel.

“Yes they know about me and Finn, I told my family first because… well my parents love him and my sisters all had a bet so… yeah. But they don’t know about you because I didn’t know if you were ready for that.” Leo stops him before they completely exit the tunnel and presses him up against the wall, kissing him softly.

“Thank you.” Leo smiles when Logan does and they pull apart to see they are the last out of the tunnel. Walking out Leo stops in front of the ice. “Yo, I don’t know if I have enough ego to let me fall face first onto the ice in front of a whole hockey team yet.”

“What, you aren’t up for the challenge?” Clay skates right up to him, not as seamless as everyone else but still pretty well. He has this challenging look in his eyes and Leo knows exactly what is going to happen. “I knew you weren’t good at everything.” Leo launches himself at LCay who skates out of the way just in time for Leo to miss and barely holds himself up as he glides across the ice.

“Clay! When I get my hands on you, I swear!” Then he falls flat on his ass and gorans laying down, staring at the ceiling annoyed. This sucks.

Clay is having an absolute field day, Laughing his ass off as he skates up to Leo and helps him stand. Patting his back for a moment and letting Leo get his balance he then pushes him over and skates away.

“CLAYTON!” Leo falls basically into a middle split and it distracts Finn from his conversation with Logan and his sisters, hitting Logan’s chest until he looks over at Leo who is still being taunted by Clay and now Reg.

“I didn’t know he could do that.” They share a look and both seem to get ideas around the same time because their faces get all reg and they high five.

“Who is that?” Sydney is readjusting her hat as she looks at Leo. “He’s a cutie, I wouldn’t mind getting a piece of that.”

“Agreed. He is really handsome.” Aubry nods in agreement and Logan is suddenly possessive. He glares at them.

“Back off, he’s mine!” He crosses his arms and turns his attention back to Leo who is now talking to Katie who has made herself at home on his leg. Leo looks like he is trying his best not to shake from how cold he is.

“You have Finn, let us have our fun.” Aubrey hits his shoulder and skates over to Leo and Katie. “Need some help?” Katie smiles at her. Leo looks up at her and gives a shy smile because he is embarrassed. Nodding she holds out her hand, Katie grabs his other hand and helps him up. With Katie on one side and Aubry on the other, Leo starts more skating and less falling over.

“Awww they are so cuteeeee.” Sydney smiles at them and hears Logan grumble, looking at them annoyed and Finn is still snorting everytime Leo stumbles. But Finn has this look in his eyes that Sydney has only ever seen him give Logan. She hopes there isn’t anything shady going on between those three.

Eventually, Aubry and Leo stake back over to Finn, Logan and Sydeny who are all still chatting on the ice and sipping their hot chocolate that Celeste brought.

“Can I have a sip?” Logan holds up his cup over his shoulder to Leo’s lips, because Leo is behind him, and holds it as he takes a sip. “Mm, so yummy. I’ve never really had this before. Hot chocolate?” Leo doesn’t really drink warm drinks at all, even the coffee is normally cooled down to where it isn’t hot, sometimes iced.

“You should have Finn make you some, he is really good at it.” Finn kisses Logan's forehead and smiles.

“It’s like the one thing I learned how to make properly. Alex taught me! He is coming to the party later tonight if you want to meet him.”

“I’d love to meet him! Now, I’ve met Aubry. I’m guessing you are Sydney? Logan talks about you guys sometimes but I don’t know a lot.” Leo smiles at her and reaches his hand out to shake hers.

“You have a southern accent…” Aubry and her share a look.

Logan is definitely not keeping him from them.

[misscorn]

Day 3

Winter/Rings

This one is extra late oops lol @sihjrweek THIS ALSO TOOK ENTIRELY TOO LONG TO WRITE SO ITS NOT PROOFREAD SO IF U SEE A MISTAKE NO U DIDNT

***

"Anchan's birthday is in a week." Onodera Youko said, currently sitting at the dinner table across from her son, her husband absent.

Ritsu nodded as he pushed his food around on his plate. He was fully aware that March 14th, An's birthday, was fast approaching, but not for the reasons his mother was hoping. No, it was because March 14th was also White Day. Ritsu was both severely stressed and excited about it.

Ritsu planned on going on an aquarium date with his Senpai after school, thinking it'd be a little more special than their typical bookstore-pandaway combo. Not that Ritsu disliked this pattern at all! He just wanted to do something different for the holiday.

Then, they'd go back to Ritsu's house where the brunette would prepare dinner. His parents weren't going to be home since his dad always took his mother on a trip for White Day from the 14th to the 17th, so he figured it was the perfect time to finally invite Saga Senpai to his house! He had already started practicing cooking and baking the day after Valentine's Day. He figured he'd need as much practice as he could get, seeing as he had never done either of them before, but he was definitely improving!

Ritsu intended on making white chocolate chip cookies as a gift. Although his Senpai didn't particularly like sweets, it was tradition to give something white. So, he'd give the cookies in addition to some bitter dark chocolates that Saga was more likely to enjoy. Additionally, he'd give a white rose, since his Senpai had given him a red one and he thought it would be a sweet gesture to mirror. And...perhaps the most embarrassing and overkill gift idea of all: a jar full of paper origami stars that, when unfolded, have reasons he loves Saga written on them. His Senpai had asked him once before why he loved him and Ritsu simply didn't have the time or the courage to say all the reasons to his face, but he could definitely write them down!

"What do you plan on doing for her birthday?" Youko asked, interrupting Ritsu's thoughts about his string of plans.

"Oh, well, since it lands on a school day we were going to hangout over the weekend instead." Ritsu said. "But, I'm not really sure what to get her..." He admitted.

"Why don't you just spend time with her after school? It's not as special if you celebrate after her birthday's already passed. Plus, it's White Day. She did give you something on Valentine's day, didn't she?" Youko said. She recalled Ritsu coming home on Valentine's day, giddy and flushed as he held tupperware full of homemade chocolates. An was really such a sweet girl, going through the trouble of making the chocolates herself.

Ritsu felt a swirl of dread start to form in his stomach, recognizing his mother's tone. "Yes, but mother-"

"Its the polite and gentlemanly thing to do. Imagine; not spending White Day with your fiancée and to make matters worse, blowing off her birthday as well!" Youko said.

"Mother-"

"And as for what you can get her, I have a great idea." Youko smiled brightly. "Promise rings! Such a cute and meaningful gift, she'd love it." Youko continued.

"Anchan and I aren't a couple!" Ritsu did not mean to raise his voice, but his frustrations of being talked over got the best of him.

Youko's cheerful demeanor left her. "Don't be ridiculous, Ritsu. You and Anchan are a perfect match. She is a lovely, intelligent, kind girl from a fine background and she undoubtedly adores you. What more could you ask for?"

"Mother, I..." Ritsu trailed off and frowned. "I just-I don't like her that way!"

"You won't even give it a chance! Who could possibly be a better fit for you than Anchan?"

"I'm only fifteen, why do we have to start talking about marriage now?" Ritsu desperately wished his mother would let this go, but his mother was just as stubborn as he was.

"Because your future is important and should matter to you, Ritsu." Youko said. "You are spending White Day with Anchan and that's final. If you'd like, I can help you pick out a pair of promise rings." She offered, the happy tilt in her voice returning as she tried to force the conversation back on track.

Ritsu just mumbled something in assent in order to stop this awful conversation, fully intending on avoiding that little ring shopping trip. Let his mother believe that he would spend White Day with Anchan. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

Ritsu tried to act normal around his Senpai for the rest of the week, (well, his version of normal, which was already a certain level of nervousness) but he could hardly contain himself.

"You're being weird." Saga commented on March 12th. Exactly 1 day, 8 hours, 14 minutes and 25 seconds before 12 A.M. on White Day. Yes, Ritsu was counting.

"S-S-Sorry, I just-um-I-I had something I wanted to ask you." Okay, this was it, deep breaths Onodera, deep breaths. "I was wondering if you w-wanted to...spendWhiteDaywithme?" Ritsu squeezed his eyes shut tight as he waited for an answer.

"...What the hell?"

Well, that wasn't a good sign.

"I thought we were already spending White Day together." Saga said. "Or did you forget what you said?"

"N-n-no, of course not, the opposite actually, I've been thinking about White Day nonstop and what I should do, what would be a fun date, what sort of presents I should get you-"

Saga glanced around the library to make sure they were alone as Ritsu rambled before he cut him off with a gentle kiss.

Ritsu blinked a few times, dazed and completely embarrassed, but undeniably happy.

"So, tell me these ideas you've been thinking about 'nonstop'." Saga echoed.

"Well, I want some of it to be a surprise." Ritsu said after he managed to get his thoughts back in order. "But I thought it'd be fun if after school we went to an aquarium together and then...my house for dinner."

"Your house?" Saga was surprised to say the least, his normally stoic face for once betraying him.

"U-Unless that's not okay?" Ritsu said, automatically assuming the worst, as he typically did. "We don't have to go to my house, we can do something else-"

"No, you can't take back the offer now. I'm coming to your house." Saga said quickly. He was endlessly curious about Ritsu's home and more specifically Ritsu's room, so he'd be damned if he let this opportunity slip by him.

Ritsu smiled a little and nodded before he became shy. "And um...my parents won't be home...s-so..."

"Ahhhhh, I see. Who knew you were such a pervert?" Saga teased, but his straight face and serious tone gave no hint to his playfulness.

If it were possible for humans to combust into flames on the spot, Ritsu would have done so. The younger teen shook his head vehemently as he made frantic and wild hand gestures. "No! I-I didn't mean it like-I'm not-!"

"I was just messing with you." Saga smirked a little bit. Normally he didn't really joke around like this, but Ritsu's reactions were priceless. Even in the beginning of their relationship Saga would never say something like that, but Ritsu managed to get deeper and deeper into his heart every day and break down more and more walls.

Ritsu's whole face was red, including the very tips of his ears. He looked away out of embarrassment, not knowing what to say.

Chu

Ritsu swore his body somehow heated up even more after Saga leaned forward to press a kiss on the back of his head.

"I'm looking forward to White Day. It'll be fun." Saga said. "I'm expecting to be impressed."

"Y-You're teasing me again." Ritsu complained.

'It's not my fault you make it so easy.' Saga thought.

White Day was sure to be fun this year and hopefully for many years to come.

...Or maybe not.

The day had started off fine, completely normal in fact. When Ritsu woke up his parents were already gone. They always left early in the morning.

Ritsu was completely exhausted. He had stayed up all night, excited and anxious about White Day, but Ritsu's exhaustion caused him to miss the small box and a note left for him in the kitchen.

It was such an innocent item with good intentions behind it.

It was a thoughtful gift that would surely be cherished.

It was going to ruin everything.

Ritsu had already made the cookies last night and had the dark chocolate, keeping both of them stored in his kitchen. He'd also purchased a white rose the previous day, telling his mother it was for Anchan when she asked about it. It probably didn't help to feed into the insane fantasy his mother had, but he didn't have any other excuses. The jar of stars was also hidden in his room underneath his bed. He'd spent at least 4 or 5 days making them all. He planned on giving Saga these gifts in privacy later today.

As the day went on, Ritsu started to think that maybe it would have been better for him just to cut class since he wasn't able to focus at ALL! An agonizing 7 hours later and he was released from his class, hurrying out front where he and Saga had agreed to meet after school.

Ritsu beat the older teen to the entrance, waiting for him as patiently as he could, unable to contain his bright smile once he saw him

'Damn it, why does he have to smile at me like that? I don't know if I'm going to survive today.' Saga thought as he walked over. "Hey."

"Hi, Senpai! H-Happy White Day..." Ritsu said, the latter half coming out a little quieter so no passing students would hear.

"No gift?" Saga didn't actually care about a present, excited to just spend the afternoon with Ritsu, but he couldn't pass the opportunity to mess with him.

"S-Senpai, don't tease me!" Ritsu complained with a pout. Shit, that expression wasn't good for Saga's heart. "They're at my house. But come on, let's go!" Ritsu's excitement returned to him quickly as he set off. Saga followed.

The aquarium was a little busy, so it didn't give Saga many opportunities to sneak attack Ritsu with PDA, but he still enjoyed himself. Of course, he watched Ritsu more than he watched the actual animals, but it was still a good choice for a date spot.

When they finally did have a moment alone, Saga reached out, gently taking Ritsu's hand into his. "Thanks for bringing me here."

Ritsu blushed, but felt electrified by the touch. "Of course, Senpai. I'm glad you're having fun." He smiled.

Saga couldn't deny he was enjoying himself, but what he was REALLY looking forward to was finally being in Ritsu's house! He had his own preconceived notions about Ritsu and how he lived, so he was curious about how right or wrong he was. And the hormonal teenager in him wanted to do it in Ritsu's bed.

But, when they finally left the aquarium and arrived at Ritsu's home, Saga wished that he had jumped into a damn fish tank instead.

Sitting on his Kouhai's porch was the girl who had given Ritsu chocolate on Valentine's day.

"Richan!" She stood when spotting them, looking angry. "Where have you been?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"A-Anchan? What are you doing here?" Ritsu asked, genuinely confused.

"Didn't your mother talk to you? She called my mother and set up for us to spend the day together! For my birthday! We were supposed to meet after school, but you never showed so I came here, but you obviously weren't home." She frowned and crossed her arms.

"No! My mother didn't tell me anything about this." Ritsu said, going up to the front door and taking out his house key to unlock it.

Saga cleared his throat.

"Oh-uh-Anchan, this is Saga Masamune, Saga Senpai, this is Kohinata An." Ritsu hastily introduced them. Crap, this was bad, this was so bad!

"I think I recognize you...you and Richan hang out together at the library, right?" An said.

"Hai." Saga responded blandly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you." An said politely.

"Same." Saga looked away from her and An decided to ignore his rudely aloof nature. A friend of Richan's was a friend of hers, after all.

"Um, well, come in I guess..." Ritsu said before going inside, Anchan following.

What. The. Fuck. This girl already had her chance on Valentine's Day and, according to Ritsu, was rejected. Now she was going to interrupt White Day too? Saga was absolutely pissed, though he tried not to let it show as he walked inside.

"Um, I was going to make dinner, if you want to sit in the living room and relax..." Ritsu said awkwardly. He was with his two favorite people, so this shouldn't have been as bad as it was, but oh boy was it terrible.

"I'll help!" An offered with a smile.

Ritsu tried to insist that it was okay and that she was a guest and that she didn't have to, but An ignored him and marched into the kitchen. Ritsu couldn't do much other than shoot Saga an apologetic look before following her. Saga decided to trail behind him, not wanting the girl to have even a moment of alone time with HIS boyfriend.

"Hey, Richan, what's this?" An said, regarding the box on the table.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess my parents left it this morning before they left." Ritsu picked up the note and started to read it. His mother detailed the plans she had set up for An and Ritsu today in the note and also explained that inside the box was...

"Rings? Are these what I think they are Richan?" An asked after opening the box, her curiosity having gotten the better of her. She plucked the note out of Ritsu's hands, the boy frozen in terror as he realized what was happening. "They are! Promise rings! I'll have to thank your mother for getting them for us, they're so cute! Let's put them on!" An beamed.

SNAP

Saga turned and stormed out of the kitchen, Ritsu breaking out of his shock when he heard the front door open and slam shut.

Ritsu quickly ran after Saga, ignoring An's concern as she followed him out. "Senpai, wait!" He called after him, somehow managing to catch up.

"What the fuck, Ritsu?!" Saga whipped around to face him. Oh God, Ritsu had never seen him so angry. "You told me she was just a friend, that you rejected her!"

"She is! I did!" Ritsu insisted. "She's just a friend!"

"Then why the hell is your mom buying the two of you fucking promise rings?! On fucking White Day too!"

Ritsu started to tear up, but he couldn't cry. He needed to explain everything before he lost the person he loved. If he started crying then he wouldn't be able to get a word out.

"W-We're in an arranged marriage." He admitted, feeling so ashamed for not telling his Senpai the truth earlier. "But I don't like An like that! Its a fantasy created by our parents and I've told my mother over and over again that I won't go through with it! A-An and I are not a couple and we're not getting married!" Ritsu insisted.

'Please, please, please believe me, he has to believe me, please.' Ritsu silently begged.

Saga looked between Ritsu and An, who was standing on the porch. He clenched his jaw, shaking his head and refusing to meet Ritsu's eyes. "Looks like you're the only one who thinks that way." He turned and walked off again, Ritsu staring helplessly as he did. The image of his Senpai blurred with tears before they finally started to fall.

[ghostsofmemories]

Insect Poison Update #1

Before you check out this post, please remember that the fight against police brutality is still happening, and education is critical. All proceeds from this shop are still being donated to the BLM organization and will continue to be. More designs have been added since the original post was made, so be sure to click the link to find something you like.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, feel free to jump over to my WIP introduction! I should mention that Aaron Bennett’s has been changed to Jack Bennett because I had a cool title idea for chapter 2 and needed to change his name for it to work.

So, I managed to spit out the first chapter in a couple days! It’s been difficult, but also way more fun than I was used to writing being (probably because I’m writing something I actually enjoy—who knew I was capable??). I wrote every day for five days in a row, counting today, which is wild and something I haven’t done since my NaNoWriMo days (AKA the first time I wrote this book).

Chapter 1 of the book is basically an intro to Robert and Ramona’s dynamics as (twin) siblings and a short look into how their mother interacts with them. I know the prose for this chapter could use some more work, but I think there’s a lot of character here that I liked exploring.

The chapter has three scenes: a scene where the twins are at the lake together, a scene where they’re eating dinner with their mom, Emily, and their older sister Lori, and one where they’ve stayed up late to eat cookies their mom baked for Church on Sunday.

(oop this update turned out a lot longer than I thought it would be) (CW for like, one teeny mention of drugs)

Scene 1: overhand throws are superior

In this scene, Robert and Ramona leave the house to go to the lake at the end of the street, which they’re not supposed to go to by themselves. They get into a bit of an argument that ends with a pair of shoes in the water.

The lake wasn’t big or clean or pretty, but they didn’t care much about those things. They didn’t mind the algae that tugged at their ankles or the rocks that are so sharp they gave off the impression of wanting to cut you open. It was all they’d ever known.

Since they weren’t supposed to be at the lake, they also weren’t wearing their swimsuits. They swam in their T-shirts and shorts, with Ramona’s sweater lying where the sand and the grass met. Their shoes were tucked underneath it, as if anyone would want to steal their too-small shoes with cracks in the rubber and holes in the fabric. As if their appearance wasn’t protection enough.

The water was cold enough to bite. It made their jean shorts cling to their legs, and they swam stiff and tight so they didn’t have to feel the friction. They did that for two hours; they were rebel children, breaking all the rules.

^ this part was overall just pretty fun to write, and the last sentence is definitely my favorite because of what happens next:

“Mom’s going to be so mad when we get home,” Robert said, treading water and staring his sister down. He didn’t see himself in her face the way everyone else did. Maybe it was because he spent more time with Ramona than he did with mirrors. Maybe it was because she wore her hair in two, rust colored braids and his was short and brown and untameable. Maybe it was because he almost never liked Ramona, but usually, he liked himself.

“Mom’s going to be mad,” he said again. She wasn’t going to be, but Ramona played along anyway. She kicked her legs a little faster, trying to keep her chin above the water like her brother could.

“Too bad,” she said, “we’re already in the water. She can’t do anything.”

The twins knew their mother wouldn’t be mad. She wouldn’t be mad if they were there for four hours. She wouldn’t be mad if they waltzed into the house dripping wet from their hair and clothes, right onto the freshly mopped kitchen floor. She’d mop it again without a second thought. She’d ask them how their afternoons went.

I love this part because I got to explore how Robert and Ramona almost want to get in trouble if it means someone will pay attention to them. They want to get caught and be told no about something, but their mom is so absent minded (and high) that they can get away with whatever they want. In this chapter and probably further ones, we get to see them test exactly how far they can go.

Here’s the part where the fight gets introduced: Ramona’s ready to leave and Robert isn’t, but he also doesn’t want to stay by himself (even though he’d never admit that). He tells Ramona to give her the sweater she’s holding, presumably to dry himself off a little. Instead, he tosses it into the lake.

Sweatshirts weren’t exactly known for being aerodynamic and eleven year old boys weren’t exactly known for their underhand throws, so it didn’t go far. It landed pathetically into the shallow part of the water where their older sister used to take them to catch tadpoles in the spring (they would bring them home in buckets and tupperware and try to have their very own front yard aquarium. Their mother always spotted them and made them march back to the lake and dump dozens of them back into the water).

“Robert!” Ramona yelled, stepping into his space. He put his hands behind his back and stepped even closer. “Go get it!”

“It’s your sweater,” he said. He smiled and bent down to pick up a rock, mostly because it looked like the sort Ramona would bring home and put in a box with three dozen others. He forced his hand into his wet pocket and let it sit there, wrist deep in clinging fabric with a rock clenched in his fist. Later, on the way home, he’d toss it into the grass and never think about it again.

We can see here that Robert is a little unhinged and manipulative, and really wants to get a rise out of his sister and see what she’ll do. Her response is to be even more unhinged and manipulative:

Robert watched as she sat down to put on her shoes. He saw her stand up and toss his sneakers right into the water, one after the other, socks still tucked inside.

Eleven year old girls weren’t known for their underhands, either, but their overhands could be surprising if they put some energy into it. The shoes sunk into the bottom of the lake, and the twins stared at one another as if to agree, just this once, to end the fight before things got worse.

Ramona didn’t smile. She took no pleasure in being wicked. Still, she’d be the first to admit that she took more than a little pleasure in her brother’s silence.

Scene 2: pork and potatoes and corn.

Time for dinner! This scene was fun and mildly uncomfortable to write.

Emily Bennett was nothing if not a creature of habit. She thought this was her greatest secret, something to hold close to her chest, but the things she tried to hide were always smeared down to her sleeves.

“Just in time!” She said, her smile wide enough to call a canyon. She still had silverware in her left hand and a stack of cups in her right, and stared at the next seat in line instead of looking at the twins. Her mind was only at rest when her body was in motion, and even then she struggled to drown out the noise. “We’re having pork and potatoes and corn. Go get your hands washed so you can eat, and let your sister know it’s dinner time.”

And a little later:

You kids are so quiet these days,” she said, setting her glass on the table. Condensation was already forming on the outside of the glass. The twins took turns shifting in their chairs, trying to escape from a heat that didn’t seem to bother their mother or Lori. “What have you been up to?”

The three of them looked at each other, trying to decide who would take one for the team. When eyes settled on Ramona, she spoke up. “I re-organized my rock collection this morning,” she said, and took a bite of mashed potatoes to avoid saying anything further.

“Oh, that’s nice honey. You’ll have to show me later.”

Ramona had no intention of showing her mother the newly cleaned and sorted rocks, and Emily had no intention of looking. They were simply humoring each other.

“Mhm. I think I might have found some amethyst.” Ramona was thought amethyst was her mother’s birthstone (it was, but after no comment from her mother about it, Ramona was sure she’d gotten it wrong).

“How’s the corn?” Emily asked, taking a bite of it and following it immediately with large gulps of water. The glass was half empty.

Lori spoke up. “Good. Same as always.” She wished, for a moment, that she could rewrite the sentence in her mother’s mind. It’s good, mom. Did we get it from the store or the farmer’s market? Could you show me how to cook it the way you do? She didn’t bother with these types of questions because Emily never taught her things when she asked. Lori couldn’t recall the last thing her mother had taught her.

I can’t really describe it, but the family dynamics are exactly how they need to be. I want there to be a certain feeling of tension and uneasiness when everyone is in the same place, but a tension they’ve all gotten used to. 

The last scene is when the twins are stealing cookies and getting ready for bed, which I’m not sure is totally necessary but I think it further shows their dynamics so it can stay for now.

“I’m tired,” Ramona said, trying to dip her cookie into a glass of milk she’d almost finished. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“I’m not tired,” Robert said, popping open a tupperware dish and reaching into it carefully, like the cookies might disappear if he moved too fast. “Want another one?”

“We have to leave some, otherwise mom’ll notice.”

“She won’t do anything about it,” he said, pushing the bowl across the table to her, “you can have some more.”

“I don’t want anymore. I want to go to bed.” Ramona stood to rinse out her cup at the kitchen sink, the tile cool and grounding under her feet. Robert left his glass on the table and the cookie bowl with the lid half on. 

“Fine, I’ll just go to bed, too.”

Not to continue telling every bit of psychology surrounding the characters’ actions, but this part is interesting because again, both of them are aiming to get caught and get into trouble, but they refuse to do it without the other. Robert starts everything and Ramona finishes it before it gets too far.

The chapter ends with them getting ready for bed and Ramona hearing her dad’s truck pull into the driveway, meaning he’s home for a weekend before his next set of deliveries and destinations and whatnot. I think I want this to be the inciting incident, but I have to work on it more and figure out what I actually want to happen here.

Overall, the chapter clocked in at 2802 words, and I think after I go back and add some more description and imagery (which is definitely where I’ve fallen short so far), it should end up around 3000-3200. I really enjoyed writing this chapter (I think this book is by far the most exciting project for me, and is going to help me figure out what I want to write from now on), and I want to talk more about how my process is going, but I think that’ll be a separate post where I talk more about process and music and all those little things that go into a writing session for me.

If you have any questions about the story or characters, want to get added to the taglist, or just have anything to say about it in general, make sure you do that in an ask so I can be sure to see it! My notifications are sketchy but I’ve never had an issue with ask notifications. 

Taglist: @coffeeandcalligraphy​ @alicewestwater​ @fliiik-art​

[coyotesongwriting]

Free Falling - Chapter 2

Avengers - Clint Barton/Reader

Chapter 2 - Decisions

Chapter Summary: Your decision is made, and now it’s time to follow through.

Author’s Note: I desperately need a beta reader, and I’m sleep deprived so if there are mistakes… oops and let me know please! haha Also, this chapter hurt me to write. Sorry? I mean, not really because I’d do it again but yeah lol

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):  @rorynne @proudhufflepuff77 @rhymesmenagerie @redfoxwritesstuff @darthhayber @alwaysadreamingoptimist

Previous Chapter

When your tears finally faded, you made no move to leave the cold bathroom. Thoughts raced through your head as you waited for some idea to hit you. Some way to make everything alright. Nothing came. When four am rolled around, you gave up the idea of any sleep that night and decided that you needed fresh air. You quietly snuck out of the bathroom, pausing for only a moment at the sight of Clint sleeping peacefully before you raced out.

You slowly moved through the quiet halls, pausing in the kitchen and wishing for a warm cup of coffee before continuing out to the balcony. The city lights danced below you as you sat at the railing, your feet dangling over the edge. Watching the cars drive past in the city that never sleeps, you let out a soft sigh. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been there, watching life pass you by when the soft whoosh of the sliding glass door opening pierced the morning, but you didn’t notice, too wrapped up in your thoughts. It wasn’t until a warm hand settled on your shoulder that you turned, smiling softly at Tony as he took a seat next to you. 

“Can’t sleep?” you asked, resting your arms and chin on the railing in front of you.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he laughed, bumping your shoulder with his own. 

“I’m not the one who got drunk earlier” you rolled your eyes, shivering as a cold breeze blew over you. Fall had well and truly settled in, and with it, the temperatures dropped.

“Well, I’m also not a doctor and yet I’m not dumb enough to be sitting out here in nothing but my pajamas” he snorted, lifting his arm up and wrapping it and the blanket around you.

You huffed, but snuggled in next to him, “At least I’m not the dumbass that lit the kitchen on fire yesterday!”

He poked you in the side instead of responding, and the two of you began to talk about nothing and everything. Quiet mornings like this were the best, no wars to fight and no need to worry about anything. You could just forget everything for a little while in the traded barbs with Tony. As the sun began to rise over the horizon, Tony got to his feet, before reaching down and pulling you up with him.

“Thanks, Tony… I really needed this” 

Tony ruffled your hair playfully, “Any time babe!”

You stretched, taking a look at your watch. If you hurried, you could catch Bucky and Steve as they finish up their training. Now that you knew you were pregnant, you couldn’t spar anymore and you decided that meant it was time for your least favorite activity - running. Unfortunately, the time with Tony had only helped you realize that you knew in your heart what you had to do and it was time to start preparing.

~~~~~~ 

“Fuck you, Barnes!” You panted, trying to catch your breath as you leaned against the wall. 

His loud laugh echoed through the training room, “Come on [Y/N]. I know you can come up with something better than that.”

Steve glared at you pointedly and you shrugged your shoulders in a silent apology. 

“Come on Steve! He tripped me!” you called back

“Maybe you shouldn’t challenge the Winter Soldier to a race!” Bucky grinned, tossing you a cold water bottle as he walked up to you. 

“Maybe the winter soldier shouldn’t be a fuckin’ cheater!” you huffed, “Sorry Cap! Y’know, you wouldn’t have to hear our bad language if you were dating” your eyes dancing playfully.

“And we’re done here” he laughed, heading towards the showers.

“Hold on one sec, Steve. I was wondering if you’d cover for me this weekend? My sister’s having a party and it’s been too long” 

“No worries [Y/N]. I’ll make sure you’re cleared. Tell Nadia I said hi!” Steve grinned

You watched Steve go, your breath catching in your throat. It took a moment to catch your breath. You’d made your decision, and come this weekend there’d be no going back. The next week seemed to pass in a blur. 

The next day, you went to the aquarium with Loki, Peter, Thor, and Natasha. Which was literally one of the best days of your life. You’d managed to arrange the private behind the scenes tour since you didn’t want to draw more attention to yourselves than needed. When Loki found out that Thor was fascinated with the sharks, well, he’d sent him falling into the shark tank. After fishing Thor out of the water, thankfully no worse for the wear, your group had been banned - for life - from the aquarium.

After that, you’d worked with Tony on some coding for his next suit. At least, that was the goal. It hadn’t taken long before the two of you had devolved into just seeing who could make the best paper airplane. Unfortunately, you lost. However, Tony managed to start a small fire when the plane managed to land directly in between the wires on his next prototype. 

Friday night came quickly. Too quickly for your liking. Barring missions, you and Clint had a standing date night. Tonight was going to be your last date night, your last night at home in general and you wanted - needed - it to be perfect. 

While Clint was grabbing the pizza from your favorite place, you were gathering all the blankets and pillows you could find and bringing them to the theatre room. As you finished making a giant nest from your scavenged supplies, two warm hands grabbed you around the waist, tickling your sides. With a playful squeal, you twisted in his grasp to face him. As he smirked, you leaned in to kiss him slowly.

“So, what are we watching tonight?” he asked, settling down into the plush bed you’d made and patting the spot next to him.

“Up to you. Which I know, means we’re watching Die Hard” you laughed, the movie already starting as you snagged a piece of pizza from the box he’d set on the couch behind you.

“How did I get so lucky?” he asked, a grin lighting up his face. 

You didn’t respond, not knowing if you’d be able to trust your voice and merely snuggled in closer to him. He kissed your forehead, and the two of you fell silent as the opening scene came on. You two lay like that for the movie, no words needing to be spoken in that moment. 

As the final credits scrolled past, Clint turned to you, his eyes warm as he glanced down at your lips. You bit your lip softly before you leaning towards him. He caught your lips in a gentle kiss, which quickly became heated. He rolled on top, pinning you to the bed and began to pepper gentle kisses all over your face and neck.

“I love you, [Y/N]. I don’t know what I’d do without you” he murmured between the kisses.

You couldn’t hold it in any longer, and tears began to shine in your eyes as you stared up at him, “I love you too. So much”

A puzzled look fell over his face and he brushed your hair back with one hand, “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, right?”

“I’m just happy” and it wasn’t a lie. You were happy, this moment? This was a better moment than you could have wished for and it was killing you that it couldn’t last forever. 

~~~~~~

The next morning, Friday’s voice woke you two, summoning you to the meeting room. There was another mission and you began to internally panic. You couldn’t go with them, you had to leave. For once though, it seemed the universe was squarely on your side.

“[Y/N], we don’t need you to come with us this time around. Shouldn’t be too complicated, and I know you were looking forward to this weekend. We’ve got this” Steve smiled, not realizing that he’d come to regret this decision later.

You smiled softly at him, thanking him and went with Clint as he got ready for the mission. When everyone was ready, you joined them by the Quinjet. The lump in your throat was painful, and you were barely holding it together. Thankfully, everyone assumed that you were just nervous that they were going without you. No one found it out of the ordinary when you hugged each and every one of the team - even Loki despite his protests.

“We should be back Sunday, don’t worry about us. I promise, I’ll see you again” Clint wrapped you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

You nodded, a handful of tears sneaking past, “I love you so much. Be safe, please. I need you to promise that you’ll be careful, always.”

His eyebrows drew together, puzzled. “Is everything -”

“Come on Clint! We don’t have time for you two” Nat interrupted, grabbing him and pulling him onto the Quinjet. 

As the doors begin to close, Clint signed to you, I love you baby girl. We’ll be back before you know it.

I love you too you signed back, watching as the Quinjet disappeared from view before you headed back inside.

Not wanting to risk them returning before you were well and truly gone, you quickly packed a small suitcase. You grabbed a few changes of clothes, but otherwise only focused on the irreplaceable things - the necklace Clint gave you on your first anniversary, the Avengers pin that Tony had ordered one night when he was drunk. 

As you looked around the room, ready to zip the bag, you picked up the photograph on the nightstand. It was taken right after your first successful mission with the team. You were standing in the middle, Clint’s arm around your shoulders as he smiled at you. The rest of the team was smattered around you, Peter giving Tony bunny ears and Loki glaring at the camera. With a shuddering breath, you added it to your bag and sealed it. 

Grabbing the black trash bags you’d hidden in the room last night, you began to gather up everything else of yours. Your clothes, notebooks, hair ties, any trace of you that you could. You brought the bags to the incinerator to the basement and burned away the remnants of this life. You needed them to know that you were gone, truly gone. You weren’t coming back, and maybe it would be easier for them if your belongings weren’t haunting the tower like a ghost.

Not knowing how much longer you could last before you broke, you quickly grabbed your suitcase and raced to the parking garage. You didn’t spare one final glance around the tower, knowing that at any minute you were going to burst into tears and you couldn’t have anyone questioning you.

As you settled into your car, the dam broke and you stopped fighting. For the first time since you made this decision, you allowed yourself to truly grieve. Once you could breathe again without wanting to go back, you turned the car on. There was no going back now. Resting your hand on your stomach, you pulled out onto the road.

~~~~~~

The team arrived back late that night, the mission had gone fine but everyone was completely exhausted. Clint noticed that the room you two shared seemed a little off, but you were always redecorating so he just climbed into bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, Tony awoke to Friday’s voice.

“Mr. Stark, I have an alert for you”

“Five more minutes, Friday. Please” he grumbled into his pillow. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had actually gotten a decent night’s sleep.

“It’s about Miss [Y/L/N]. It may be important, sir”

Tony sat up in bed, grumbling to himself as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “Go ahead.”

“Mr. Stark, Miss [Y/L/N]’s bank accounts have all been completely drained.”

Cocking his head to one side, “Well that’s odd. Maybe she’s buying something though?”

“That’s not all, sir. It seems… There are no records of her left.”

That woke him up rather quickly, “What do you mean no records?” 

“Sir, I can’t find any record of her online, in the SHIELD database, anywhere.”

“Friday, call her. Now.” Tony ordered, getting to his feet and beginning to pull on his clothes.

“I’m sorry, sir. Her number has been disconnected. However, I have just received a video from her if you would like me to gather the team she has requested I play it for everyone.”

Within a few minutes, everyone had made it to the meeting room. Clint’s face was worried, and he tapped his fingers on the table in front of him. He’d forgotten to grab his hearing aids, thankfully Natasha had known him well enough to grab them for him. Signing a quick thanks, he put them in while he waited for Tony and Friday to finish explaining.

“Play the video, Friday.” Clint’s voice was unsteady, nervous.

The lights dimmed slightly, and there you were. Sitting on a bench somewhere they couldn’t be sure where. Your hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there were unshed tears in your eyes as you looked into the camera. You took a shaky breath, gathering courage before you began.

“Hey guys. I’m hoping Friday let you all get some sleep, and I’m hoping you all made it back safely. I’m sorry to do this to you, especially like this. I just … I couldn't do this in person. Guess you were right Loki. I am a coward” you laughed bitterly.

“I need to go. I can’t stay here, and I can’t do this anymore. I’m not … I’m not coming back. I need you guys to let me go. Please. I need you all to know how much this time together meant to me, and God knows I’m going to miss you guys like hell but I have to go. Tony, I’m begging you. You have to sleep sometime, okay? I don’t care if that means sleeping pills or hypnosis, just get some sleep. Banner, make sure he takes care of himself. And for the love of god, make sure he stops having coffee at 4 in the morning” you paused to brush the tears out of your eyes and clear your throat before continuing. 

“Loki, Thor, you two idiots need to look out for each other, and please, get a better trick than your Get Help routine. At some point, people will catch on and you’ll be screwed. Bucky, I’m going to miss the early morning cheating. Steve please just go on the damn date. Seriously, you might like it if you tried it. Nat, you’ve been like a sister to me and I’m sorry I’m bailing on the shopping trip with you. Can you look after Clint for me? Please.”

You paused for a few beats, taking a few deep breaths before continuing, your voice breaking. “Clint … I don’t have the words to tell you what all you’ve meant to me. I’m so sorry it has to be this way, but I don’t have a choice here. Not anymore. I have to do this, and you have to let me go. The time we’ve had... They’re always going to be the best years of my life, and I’m always going to love you but you have to move on. I need you to.”

“I know you guys are probably trying to figure out if I’ve been kidnapped and am being forced into this. Or maybe you think I’m dying. I’m not. I promise. I’m doing this because I need to. I know you guys don’t understand why, and you probably never will and I can’t tell you and I’m so sorry. I told my family I was going on a long term undercover mission, so please just leave them alone. They don’t need to know the truth, it will only hurt them. 

Your tears began to flow faster now, and you were having a hard time talking clearly as you gave the camera a sad smile, “Be safe. Please. Look out for each other… I love you.” 

The video ended, screen going black.

Next Chapter ->

Find this story on AO3

[desdemonafictional]

You Will Remember That

Telltale batjokes, slots into place during Season 1 Episode 4

Or, That Thing We Were All Thinking About

On AO3

When Leland says that she’s going to find you a room with fewer bloodstains, you don’t expect that room to be occupied. Leland stands at the door, signing off on some slip that she hands off to a passing orderly. “It’s unorthodox,” she says,“ but I promise you it’s only for one night. Two at the most.”

You glare at the bed they’ve dragged against the wall of this cell, slightly askew on the tile. “This can’t be ethical. This isn’t a state prison.”

“Truthfully, Bruce?” she says, with a grim eyebrow lift. “We weren’t supposed to be assigned any more patients this quarter. Your room was the last available one until we discharge our next ward.”

John, lying back on the opposite bed with his feet kicked up on the wall, adds, “Actually there’s two, but one of them has black mold and the other one has a chunk taken out of the wall.”

“John,” Leland says.

From underneath his hand, like it’s a secret, he adds, “Maxie took a disliking to the décor.”

Leland sighs. “Our biohazard maintenance is off the clock and the union won’t let us call him back in until tomorrow. I promise you, as soon as we have your room scrubbed properly, you’ll be back to your accustomed level of privacy.”

“My accustomed level of privacy doesn’t involve twenty-four hour surveillance,” you point out, eyeing the camera mounted in the corner of the room.

John laughs, a little harder and darker than you are entirely comfortable with. Quite a lot of things seem to be funny to him.

“More or less,” Leland amends. She scribbles something final looking on her clipboard, and then she says, “John, make sure that Bruce stays on the straight and narrow. No more riots. I’m trusting you to be a good influence.”

“You can count on me Doc,” he says.

“Lights out at ten,” Leland says to you. “Doors lock then. Group therapy is at 8 AM, but I think it’s better if we avoid introducing you to that kind of environment while things are still so tenuous. You’ve have one-on-one with me at 9.”

And then she leaves, the door open and taunting behind her. You guess you should be grateful that they’re still giving you open door privileges, after you threw yourself into the middle of a brawl, but you’re having a hard time being gracious about any of this. It’s taking all you have just to remain appropriately civil with Leland, who is genuinely innocent of your situation here. If only you had been able to make that call. Some distraction John made you.

As soon as the sound of her footsteps have disappeared, John leaps out of bed. He throws himself out of bed, lunges almost, throwing himself into orbit around you like a comet caught in the sun’s gravity. He circles you.

“We are gonna have so much fun, Brucie,” he says.

For the umpteenth time today, you force yourself not to track him as he circles you. He has this vulture-tiger-coyote fascination with your unprotected back, and you are pretty understandably prickled by it. You can feel him like a wave of electromagnetic interference over your skin.

“What’s your idea of fun?” you ask.

It has not escaped your attention the way he says certain things, the meaningful lowering of eyelids as he insinuates—what? Well, you can make a guess. This may not be a prison exactly, but in every way that matters, you haven’t detected much of a difference. Now, after everything he’d hinted in the rec room, you’re not as sure that you know what he wants, but you’re still waiting for the shoe to drop.

John throws himself back onto his bed (not yours, you notice). He crosses his legs. “Well, the rec room was pretty fun today, don’t you think?”

“I don’t generally categorize being shivved that way, actually,” you say.

“You don’t?” he says, tapping the corner of his mouth in a thoughtful way. “I was thoroughly entertained. Let me just say, it is a pleasure to watch you work. You really got right in there! And Zsasz, he’s no toddling bedwetter like some of these numbskulls. He’s a real piece of work!”

“Yeah,” you say. “Thank for that.”

He sits forward. “Tsk tsk, there’s no need to take that tone with your good buddy. It’s not my fault you missed your window of opportunity. Not that I’m not glad to have a little more quality time with you, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got places to be, people to see.”

You say nothing. He’s right, it’s not his fault. That is to say, his plan would have worked if you had only chosen to go along with it. But you didn’t, and now you’re here, sharing a cell with him until your lawyers can manage to tie this place up in enough red tape to open up another fleeting window of opportunity. You’re confident that Alfred is out there working on it. He never lets you down. It’s just time, which you don’t have anywhere enough of.

“Anyways,” John says. “I think you do like it.”

“Like what?” you say.

He twists back and makes a motion like slamming a bat into something, throws his whole body into it. “The violence, Brucie. The action! I saw you out there, you’re a livewire,” he laughs. “I like that about you. You know just what to do with that body of yours.”

     I couldn’t just ignore it      No one could enjoy that      >it wasn’t that impressive

You cross your arms. “I’m hardly some kind of action hero. Recreational judo—some boxing, whatever’s new in town—I just do enough to keep fit.”

John plants his chin in his hand. “Come on now,” he says, “you can lie better than that.”

You find yourself speechless.

“You wanna give it another try?” he offers, helpfully.

“I’m-” you say, “I’m tired of talking about myself,” you say, which is not untrue.

John nods. “That’s fair,” he says.

And that’s it. He seems satisfied to leave it there, digging in his mattress to find a skein of red yarn which he twists around his fingers in a bizarre cat’s cradle, quietly manipulating the threads until they resemble a mandala.

You clear your throat, not sure that you like the silence any more than you liked the conversation. “Isn’t that banned?” you ask.

“Oh sure,” he says. He glances at you, eyes glittering like a window full of television displays. “But you won’t tell on me, will you?”

“…No,” you say.

He gives you a bright smile. “Don’t worry,” he says. “We’re gonna get you out of here. When one door closes—” he draws the cradle tight, with a twang, “—another one opens.”

 Wake up call at 7:00 finds you already up and pacing beneath the window of the room that everyone else is too polite to call a cell. John slides into his slippers and coaxes you out, leads the way to the kitchen full of undercooked hash and cold eggs. He doesn’t seem interested in the food, but he watches with a weirdly maternal zeal as you finally scoop up a serving for yourself, not quite moving out of your way until you fill the whole plate. He sits you down in a seat at a mostly empty table, across from a small nervous man pushing his eggs around and around.

“What’s the news, Tech,” he says. “Seen any rabbits lately?”

“No,” Tech says, without looking up. “What do you want?”

“I want you to meet the new guy!” John says. He slaps you on the back, nearly knocking you into your food. “Remind you of anybody?”

Tech glances up at you, watery blue eyes and a vagueness that seems to be looking right through you. “No one,” he says. “Nothing.”

“Come on now,” John cajoles, pushing the plate out from underneath Tech. “It’s good to confront your compulsions.”

Tech considers the table, for a long moment, and then he looks up at you again. This time he really seems to be looking. You don’t know what to say—the whole thing bewilders you. You can almost see him clicking on somehow, clear instead of cloudy.

 “White knight,” he says. “The white knight.”

“Really?” John says, with his eyebrow cocked. “I woulda said the opposite.”

 “With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,” Tech murmurs, “Who seemed distracted with his woe…”

“Oops,” John says. “There he goes. Looks like he’s not as far along in his therapy as I thought.”

You give John a look. It’s difficult to tell if he just likes setting people off, or if there’s some method to his madness. Zsaz was clearly a case of using what tools were available, but you remember the inmate in the hall too, and John thumping the locked door like a child tapping the glass of an aquarium.

“Come tell me how you live,” murmurs Tech, “and what it is you do…”

“Forget him,” John says, turning back to you. “He’ll get it together before group. Speaking of which, you get to skip don’t you, you lucky duck?”

“Dr. Leland was right,” you say. “It’s not a good idea, after everything yesterday.”

You look around the mess hall, counting the pairs of glaring eyes centered right on you. Security doesn’t seem to have been stepped up much. You spot some orderlies in the wings, but they’re only orderlies. Either they don’t have the resources to protect you, or they just don’t care. Or worse.

But it’s staying quiet isn’t it? You give the room a second look. Despite how many people are trying to drill your head open with their eyes, not a single one of them is making any moves. In fact, no one has made a move since that first brawl with the taser. With Zsasz, it was John who opened fire. Your gaze slides to him, to find him watching you back, and keenly.

“Nobody,” you say, “messes with you much, do they John?”

“Oh, I’m a model patient,” John says, casually. “Who would want to mess with little old me?”

There’s still blood splattered on the floor of the room that was meant to be yours. You don’t buy that misdirection for a moment.

“I was just thinking…” you say, “how everybody’s given me a pretty wide berth since Leland assigned you to me. Since you intercepted those guys, really.”

John drums the table with his fingers, not quite irritated but certainly not calm either. “They know better,” he says, no longer looking at you. “They know better. Hazing is the tool of a cult mentality.”

“I don’t think that was hazing,” you say.

John shrugs you off. He’s definitely agitated. “They’re lucky,” he mutters, “if you hadn’t needed checking up on, I would have—If I’d heard about it later, I’d have ripped their nails out.”

You kind of want to ask how he’d expect to manage that, but you are also a little bit afraid of the answer. He perks right up, anyways, before you can settle on whether to push it.

“But you’re fine!” he says, still watching you even as he pushes Tech’s plate back into his distracted hands. “And you’ll keep being fine, don’t you worry about a thing! Just leave it all to me.”

He’s smiling. His mouth is so wide you could count his perfect teeth. With every minute you spend in his company, you suspect more and more that he isn’t any ordinary patient here. You think of his cat’s cradle, the space at the center of the mandala that every twist of string orbits. But maybe you’re getting ahead of yourself.

There’s a distorted bell over the intercom. “Ah,” he says. “That’s group! Catch you later, buddy.”

When the orderly comes to escort you back to your cell, you follow him quietly. There’s a lot to unravel in this place, you’re quickly finding out.

 In your therapy session, Leland wants to know about your childhood. You are vague without being dishonest, disinterested without being rude—you tell her what she already knows. She wants to know about your relationship with Oswald. You’re candid enough. It feels good to tell someone what he’s done to you, although you obviously can’t tell her the whole story. She doesn’t stump you until, out of nowhere, she bring up John.

“And how are you getting along with him?” she asks you. “Any concerns?”

“Concerns?” you say. “Isn’t he your favorite patient?”

Leland frowns, as if she’s disappointed with you. “Bruce,” she says. “I’m a professional. If John has made you uncomfortable somehow, I need to know about it.”

     John is bad news      I can handle him      >I’m not sure what he wants

This is your chance to get out of the whole fraught affair. Or it would be, if you took it. But you don’t take it. Part of you thinks that you ought to; John is trouble, and you don’t at all like the way he talks about your father. But the other part of you, the part that wins out, is begrudgingly intrigued. You didn’t realize it until someone offered you an alternative, but—you’ve already been planning to see him again, you’re drawn back to him in some way that feels remarkably literal. As if you are physically being tugged at. You think again of the cat’s cradle.

“Is he like this with all the new patients?” you ask her.

She considers that for a moment. “He takes an interest, generally speaking. He’s been here the longest of any non-catatonic patient, so he sees himself as a sort of mentor. But no, to be quite frank, it isn’t usually like this.”

“How is it different?” you ask, leaning forward in your chair.

Leland regards you with her cool doctor’s eyes. “This is the most engaged I’ve seen you in nearly fifty minutes, Bruce. What are you thinking about?”

You flatten your features. “I just want to know that I’m safe with him, doctor. Sharing a cell with an inmate—”

“Patient,” Leland says. “Room. And judging from what I’ve seen, John is the one who ought to be worried for his safety, not you.”

You sigh. “I’m not dangerous,” you tell her. “You’re not… seeing me at my best. I promise you, once I’ve had a chance to get this stuff out of my system, you’ll see how stable I am.”

Leland flips through her copious notes. “Bruce, it’s not just the violence. Which, by the way, speaks for itself in my opinion. In less than half an hour you’ve told me so many unhealthy things about yourself that I’ve almost run out of paper, and I don’t think you even realize what they were.”

You pull back. “I haven’t told you anything,” you say.

“Yes, you’ve been less than forthcoming with the details of your day to day schedule, but that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s your attitude. Look, ten minutes ago you told me that you often go full days before actually sleeping. You do realize that’s a kind of self harm, don’t you?”

“I’m a busy man,” you tell her, helplessly. “I have to. Sometimes there’s just too much to do.”

“And you have to do all of it?” Leland remarks.

“Yes,” you say.

She shakes her head. “Why?” she says. “Why, when it’s clearly wearing you down to nothing?”

You’re still thinking about that as you make your way back to the room. Because nobody else can, you want to tell her. Because that’s what you’re for.

John looks up from a book as you pause at the door, feeling all at once like such an outsider that not even your body wants to go any further. John immediately sets his book off to the side, page unmarked. The cover of says House of Leaves. It’s a suspiciously heavy book for an environment like this.

“What’s the matter, buddy?” he says. “Therapy didn’t go so good?”

“It was fine,” you say automatically.

John gets to his feet and ushers you inside, toeing the door closed behind you. He leads you over to his bed and sets you down on the mattress, crawling up to sit beside you like a cat. “Hey, you can tell me about it,” he says, patting your knee. “Don’t be shy. Honesty is the backbone of a healthy relationship.”

You give him a sideways look. His hand is still on your knee, as if he’s forgotten it there.

“Dr. Leland and I just disagree about some basic underpinnings of my personality,” you tell him. “It’s fine. I don’t expect her to understand.”

“Ahh,” John says. “She started asking you about that nasty little dark thing inside you, huh?”

“I don’t have a nasty little dark thing,” you say, scowling. “I’m not my father, whatever you think he was. I don’t know how to make you people understand this.”

“Daddy issues,” John says, sympathetically. He squeezes your knee—definitely not forgotten, then. He ignores the way you’re glaring at him. “Okay,” he says, “you’re your own man, I understand.”

“Do you?” you mutter.

“Sure,” he says, bumping your shoulder companionably. “It’s always just you, at the end of the day. Nobody can live your life for you, Dr. Leland says.”

You look away. Sometimes that life feels like its sheering off bits of you with each choice. It seems like it’s always one bad option from a pile of worse.

You have a feeling he already knows what you’re thinking.

 Lunch passes without incident. You meet more inmates. You meet more staff. Most of them seem to be giving you the evil eye as they talk around you and over you. You certainly have a legacy here, in this forgotten old building, whether you want it or not. You think a lot about the Arkhams, and about your father—allegations, memories, a hesitance that is starting to feel cowardly in your own throat. In the afternoon they have optional crafts for people with recreational privileges. Someone tries to stab you with a magic maker in a fit of pique and ends up framed for worse by the time John is done with them. You feel like that was unnecessary. It was only a magic marker. But John is livid and already done with the deed by the time that you even realize there was a plot—he grabs your shoulder with a grip tight enough to leave bruises as they drag the inmate away. You don’t think he’s trying to hurt you. It almost feels like he’s afraid someone will rip you away from him.

During dinner, you get in a shouting match with someone who has opinions about your company and your life choices and your mother’s sexual history, and a couple orderlies swoop in to break it up just before it can spiral into an out-and-out altercation. Your vision is swimming by the time it’s all done, blue and red and nonsense like a 3D movie in the raw. You dig your nails into your scalp and try to calm down.

“Almost had it there,” John whispers, closer to your ear than you remember him being.

You grit your teeth. The fight broke up before it could start, there’s no one for you to take a swing at. You’ve got to hold it down, you’ve got to—

John is saying something to an orderly, and then he’s guiding you up from your chair, down through the hallway, back into the semi-privacy of your shared room. You feel a surge of gratefulness that froths and presses at your insides in the middle of all this rage, unable to find a release valve.

You spend a long time just breathing. God you hope this wears off soon. You’re angry enough without having Vicky’s chemical irritant making a mess out of your brain.

“Thank you,” you manage, eventually.

“What’re friends for?” John says brightly, unbothered by any of the episode. You realize he’s been absently rubbing small circles into your shoulder for a while now, as you lean against the wall. “We should really do something about that mouthy little toad,” he says, voice flickering dark for a breath. “If he thinks he can talk to a friend of mine that way—”

“It’s fine,” you say. You sound ragged in your own ears. “He’s got enough on his plate, living in this hellhole.”

John tuts. “That’s awfully negative,” he says. “You’re homesick, I bet.”

Maybe you are. You miss Alfred’s stolid support, his dry understanding. You miss the people at the office, the office itself, the freedom to get up and go wherever you want to. You’re homesick, you guess, but only in the sense that all of Gotham is your home. You miss the streetlights and the gargoyles and the sounds of traffic as much as you miss your own dusty house.

“Mm, I knew it,” John says. “Don’t worry, it’s normal. You’ve just got to ride it out. Eventually you’ll see Arkham is a kind of home too.”

“I’m not going to be here that long,” you remind him.

He pulls back his hand. “No,” he says, “no, of course not. I just meant that you would! If you stayed. Which you won’t.”

You give up and sit down on your bed. You can feel every single spring in the mattress, and you know that it doesn’t like your weight. Last night you half expected one of them to pop through the plastic sheeting and stab you through the heart, like the vampire that you are not. Tonight you’re tempted to just sleep on the tile.

John’s bed is just as bad, unsurprisingly. You could hear him toss and turn every time you surfaced from sleep, startled by an unfamiliar sound. There is something about hearing a springs squeak and murmur under another person’s body that feels uncomfortably intimate to you. It reminds you of college dormitories and one night stands.

“Cheer up!” John says, “I have big plans for tomorrow. I don’t want to give away the surprise, but think: hall phone.”

“Are you going to engineer another murder?” you ask him, startling yourself a little with the sharpness of it.

“It’s a surprise!” John laughs. “Jeeze, did you try to unwrap your Christmas presents early too?”

You sigh. You already know that if he tries something like that again, you’ll do the same damn thing. You can’t just let someone get stabbed in front of you, regardless of how lethal it might or might not turn out to be. Your mission is important, but it’s not important enough to change that fact.

John sidles over closer. “Do you mind if I…?” he says.

You stare blankly at him. Mind if he what? Murders someone tomorrow? Yes, you mind.

He gestures uncomfortably at the spot beside you on your bed. “I’m learning to respect boundaries,” he tells you, looking all at once more abashed than you’ve ever seen him. You marvel at the change in him, his lowered head, his hunched shoulders, his anxious expression.

“You want to sit down?” you ask him.

“If you don’t mind,” he says, clasping his hands together in front of him. “Your bed is your personal space, and I respect that. I wouldn’t want you to think I go in for that kind of,” his voice goes from urgent to pitch dark, “horseplay. Not me.”

You squint at him. You have no idea what he’s talking about.

“You can sit down,” you tell him, for some reason. Better not to ask yourself why.

Immediately he’s at your side, perched close enough to breathe in the air you breathe out. “Maybe when I’m out, you can show me around!”

It’s getting easier to know what to say to him. It doesn’t even hurt you, really, to say: “I know a couple good bars downtown, I guess.”

The way John lights up makes you feel like maybe you just passed a test. “I just knew,” he says, “the moment I saw you. Friends forever.”

Then he sighs. “Shame you’re going tomorrow. I still have so much to show you. You haven’t even met Crane!” He folds an arm over your shoulder, laying his cheek on his brightly colored sleeve. “What we need to do,” he says, “is go out with a bang.”

“A bang,” you say. You are imagining improvised explosives. Out of all the people you deeply and viciously want to hurt lately, the unnerving thing is that John doesn’t make your list. Not even at all. You are trying to figure out what the hell you’ll do if this man tries to blow up a building full of mental patients.

“A little something to remember me by,” he says. He looks up from underneath his pale lashes. His hand falls across your leg again, like an afterthought.

Oh.

Oh, so this is where the shoe drops. You really did not expect it to go anything like this. You take in the eagerness that practically oozes off him, the way he almost seems to vibrate with it as he leans forward, all but falling into your lap. What in the world do you do with this.

“John,” you say, carefully, “are you suggesting that you want to have sex with me?”

John pulls back a little, makes an offended little hmph. “That is strictly against Arkham policy, Bruce. I’m a model patient.”

“I’m… confused,” you admit. “What is this, then?”

“Wellll,” John says, opening up the hand that hangs between you, “this place is full of rules, rules, rules, but there are always… grey areas….”

Several things go through your head in that moment: one, you really don’t care at all about Arkham policy one way or another. You’re not a real inmate. Two, you’re not sure how much is actually riding on this moment. Three, what would John’s overwhelming enthusiasm look like underneath you, or over you, even?

“What if I say no?” you ask him.

Immediately he disengages, showing you his open palms in the universal sign language for I come in peace. “Hey,” he says, “no problem, buddy. I was kind of hoping, well, maybe you’d be excited about it, but if you want to do something else instead, no worries.”

Actually he seems kind of put out now. You regard him carefully, the way he’s rubbing anxiously at his palm with the ball of his thumb, the way he doesn’t seem to be looking at you anymore.

“What do you mean by grey areas?”

He perks right back up. “I could show you,” he says. “Arkham policy is no penetration, period, under any circumstances, but they’re not too specific about the rest of it!”

You give him a doubtful look. Just like handing a shivv to an inmate isn’t technically against the rules, huh? Just the part where you make it, or you use it.

“Sure, a couple of the other guys got yelled at for trying it, sure, but not me. So anyways, nobody’s ever told me it was against the rules. I’ve never tried anything in here.” John purses his lips. “Slim pickings,” he adds.

You decide to level with him, since he’s been nothing but helpful since you showed up. Even if his idea of help is sometimes worse than the alternative. “John,“ you say, "my head is pretty messed up right now. I don’t like what happens if I get my heart rate up while this poison is floating around inside of me, let alone a sudden surge of hormones—things could go very badly. I could wind up hurting you.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” John says. “I’m tougher than I look, ya know.”

You eye his lean form, the rangy muscles down his arms. “Even if that was true,” you say. “No. I don’t want to risk it.”

John jumps up and paces the room, his bare feet skating over the tile. “That’s fine,” he says, “Okay. That’s fine. I’ll think of something else to do for you. I’ll just have to get creative!”

You frown. If he’s just trying to do something for you, to make you like him, the weird thing is that you kind of already do. There’s no point in all this. “Come here,” you say.

Instead of returning to the bed, though, he drops like a demolished building, landing on his knees at your feet. You wince. It doesn’t seem to bother him, but you know that would absolutely kill you. Maybe it’s the surge of sympathy, but what you do here is put out your hand and brush it over his swept-back hair. You watch him lean into it.

“How would you feel about it,” you say, surprising yourself, “if I were to just touch you. Just that?”

John laughs nervously. “Um,” he says, “why?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “It just feels like something I might want to do.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he surges forward, hands pressing down into your thighs. “Well if you’re offering,” he says, “it’d be rude of me to say no.”

Last chance to back out. Who are you kidding? You’re not a passenger in this sinking ship, you’re the captain.

“I’m offering,” you say. “Please, get up off the floor?”

He does. He throws himself back onto your bed, in a protest of a hundred tiny shrieks. You swear, if he breaks your bed, you’re making him sleep in it. He starts wriggling out of his shirts, tossing them across the room in quick succession. He opens up his arms, as if he’s reaching for you. With a knot in your stomach, or maybe something worse, you climb up over him.

You’re starting to worry that you’re going to get yourself in trouble with Vale’s poison after all. Your heart beat—the way he hooks his arms over your neck, the way he looks up at you like you hung the moon, like you can do no wrong—

“What a view,” he says, with a quiet whistle.

What a view, you think, with an alarming mixture of apprehension and desire.

 As John comes, he clutches you to himself, all his needy whining noises quieted to a single reedy gasp. His nails buried in the back of your scalp seem ready to crack you open. If your vision is swimming, you know it’s just the poison, but you also know that the poison is triggered by arousal—deep inside your blood, part of you wants him to crack you open.

He slumps, but his grip barely flags. Against your ear, he murmurs: “I knew you would be fun.”

John will remember this

 What actually happens in the morning, which is not a bomb thank god, is that first thing John simply opens up the door that should have been locked and makes a sweeping gesture at the hall beyond. He winks at you, his hair still mussed. You don’t know how he did that, and when you press him he just shrugs mysteriously and returns to his strange book. The pages you catch a glance at have the helter skelter twisted formatting of something a patient might have written. You definitely get the feeling Dr. Leland wouldn’t like him to have it.

You make your phone call. Alfred picks up immediately, even though it’s five in the morning and you know he doesn’t get up for another hour. You reassure him, you lay out a solution, and then you resign yourself to a goodbye. Your heart aches for the stress you’re putting him under.

By the time evening rolls around, Leland has gotten word from the commissioner’s office that you are being released in order to testify in an upcoming investigation. If there is some way to make her understand that this isn’t just a rich man buying his way out of justice, you wish you knew what it was. She hands you your discharge papers with an air of disappointment so thick it nearly makes you choke. As frustrating as she’s been, she’s clearly one of the good ones. She’s trying. You respect that. It doesn’t change the situation.

Alfred seems to be focused on getting you out of the building as fast as possible. He doesn’t stop to look at anything or talk to anyone, staying cleanly out of range of any grabbing hands as he marches forward. It’s you who stops, just as you’re about to pass into the nurse’s office to drop off your uniform. The gate to the rec room is just a few feet away, and behind it, with his arms through the bars, John is watching you.

He winks.

You find yourself drawn his way. When you’re long gone from here, living your real life out there, and you think of this place, you suspect that you will think of him more than anything else. Already you can feel his presence swallowing all memory of halls or rooms or schedules, of the very building itself. John reaches up and pats your cheek, which is odd because you don’t remember walking all the way over here. 

"Parting is such sweet sorrow,” he says. “Still, can’t say we didn’t show you a good time!”

From beyond you, Alfred says, “Master Bruce, are you coming?”

John leans his head against the bars, smiling one of his knowing, dark smiles. You take a step back, and then another. You turn and catch up with Alfred, where he’s holding the door to the office open for you.

“Have fun out there, in the madhouse!” John calls after you. “Remember, they’re not all as nice as we are!”

As the door swings shut behind you, Alfred says, “Who was that fellow?”

But you don’t know where you would even begin, and so, ultimately you say nothing at all.