#i should have focused and started taking care of myself so I could become a model

[brunetterightsactivist]

I still wanna be famous lowkey is this something in everyone like take my picture praise me worship me stalk me discuss me lol and I mean real actual fame not fucking TikTok/influencer fame which is fleeting and embarrassing for 99.9999999% of people that get it

[arsenalfanf1]

can I request a smut? if you don't wanna do it you can just ignore me ig, but i'd like something where lando is the one that always gives, he'd rather be the one to give than receive, but one day we're desperate so we basically beg him to sit down and let us suck him up, and when we do that he just becomes a mess, he ends up thrusting into our mouth while whining

You were desperate, you had saw photos of Lando on your timeline and how hot he looked and now all you could think about is pushing him onto the bed and sucking him off until he saw stars.

“Baby I’m home” you heard a voice say, you didn’t even realise the time, he had been out on the track today and had an early morning so this was the first time you would see him. “Hey love” you said meeting him in the kitchen, he had a tight fitting shirt showing off his abs. “I missed you today” you complained “I missed you too but I’m here now” he replied “Saw you showing off on twitter today looking all hot, made me horny” you complained “Sorry love” he kissed your mouth, before moving down to your neck thank god you wore a oversized top today.

He unbutton your jeans but before he could get any further you stopped him “please let me suck you off, all I’ve been thinking about all day please” you didn’t care how desperate you sounded you were desperate “Please sit down let me pleasure you for once” you very rarely got to give him head he would always been the one to pleasure you, he was never a selfish lover.

“I’m never going to say no” he unbuttoned his own jeans pushing them down to his ankles before sitting down on the seat, you had never done anything in the kitchen before thank god you spent the day cleaning it.

You got down on your knees and you pulled down his pants and took out his dick before you started stroking him, he was always hard “I can’t wait to put your cock I’m my mouth” after a couple seconds you felt he was ready, you licked the tip first licking his pre cum, moaning while doing so.

“Fuck we should have done this sooner” you complained. You took as much of him as you could in your mouth, playing with his balls. Lando was a moaning mess, he was so use to being the one giving head, he forgot how much he liked receiving it.

You could tell he was desperate, grabbing your hair and putting it into a ponytail gripping on it. “Fuck you take me so good pretty girl” he moaned out. “As much as I love it if git to fuck your mouth you would like that would you?” He asked already knowing your answer, you just nodded too focused on sucking him off.

He kept a hold of your hair and held you in place so he could thrust into your mouth “Fucking hell baby” he moaned, you had never been so turned on before, you wish you did this earlier.

“Look how pretty and desperate my girl looks” he said all matching with his thrusts. You couldn’t care how desperate you looked you were, you had been thinking about it for so long, he went too deep at times making you gag over his length.

“I’m gonna cum” he moaned out “where do you want it? Tits? Or mouth” he asked letting you reply “mouth” before he thrusted back into your mouth.

He cummed right in your mouth, slowing down his movements, talking about how good you did and how you would definitely do that again soon. “You taste so good baby” you moaned, trying to give him a kiss “no kisses till you brush your teeth I don’t want to taste myself” he complained, instead of fighting it you got up brushed your teeth and even used mouthwash before making your way back over to him to give him a big kiss.

—

Sorry it’s a short one trying to get my requests out I’m struggling a bit

Tag list @ur-fave-ave @nickxcorpse @may7460 @babyprofessorsharkpalace @kennysimp101

[kanekisfavoritegf]

PERFECT LOVER: The Life of Nanami Kento the 35 Year Old Virgin

MINORS & BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT YOU WILL GET BLOCKED

SYNOPSIS: Kento Nanami, a 35-year-old introvert with a tendency to avoid social interactions, has made a conscious decision to steer clear of romantic entanglements. However, everything changes when he meets a new colleague at his birthday party, (Satoru's Idea). From the moment they meet, he is mesmerized, finding himself increasingly unable to resist her magnetic presence. Like taking a bite of forbidden fruit, he becomes ensnared by the allure, delving into a realm of infatuation and finding himself unable to break free. As he delves deeper into this newfound connection, Nanami begins to realize that he craves more than just a fleeting experience and yearns for more than just a fleeting taste of what she embodies.

Table of Contents

WORD COUNT: 1.0K

CHAPTER FOUR:

Kento sat sandwiched between a window and Suguru, while Yuki sat next to Suguru, with you facing him. It was an awkward position, and you protested the entire time. 

But Yuki basically shoved you on that side and sat herself down beside Suguru as if Kento needed some protection from you.

Still, as you sat eating a deli sandwich, Kento ate his food. His expression was blank and controlled as if he hadn’t confessed to being interested in you.

It felt as though you were in high school once again. A rush of heat met your cheeks, and even though it didn’t show, you could already feel Yuki’s judgmental stare on you as you fought a smile that crept its way to your face.

“So, Y/N,” Yuki started suspiciously

 Oh no, you thought

“How’s the dating scene going?” A slight smirk was present.

“I don’t think this is an appropriate question to ask during work hours, Yuki.”

“Oh please, We grew up together! Suguru and Kento have seen it all from me during University.”

Yuki leaned in, waiting for your answer.

"So invested in others' private lives, I must ask Yuki, how exactly is his name again?? Kamo?? Kano Chosa?" Kento came to your rescue, or more so his rescue, if completely honest. Fear of you exposing him to the others rose within him; even if he didn't think you were the type of person to do so, it did not worry him any less. The last time he trusted someone with his romantic feelings, he was left abandoned in a hotel, naked and alone.

"Choso," Yuki said plainly with a venom-filled smile as she did so. "See, unlike some people, I am not afraid to be open with one's friends, nor am I unable to control myself when temptations arise."

"Is this going somewhere, Yuki?" You asked, tilting your head at her as though you cared for what she had to say.

Oh, you are so going to kill her when you get home tonight.

"Choso and I are going steady! We haven't had sex yet, but we did do some fun oral stuff." Nanami choked on his water at that, which earned a chuckle from Suguru, whose eyes seemed laser-focused on his phone.

"Is oral stuff not sex?" You asked, more curious than annoyed now, 

"Of course not." Yuki rolled her eyes,

"Now, what brought this random question on, Yuki?" Suguru asked, swirling his water bottle as he finally put his phone down.

"Nothing; I am just curious. You and Toru have this weird unspoken hookup thing but never actually commit, so I have nothing to ask of you. Unless you have decided to finally be a man and ask him out, there is nothing to ask of you. We all know that Kento doesn't date, so the only one left is Y/N."

“I am so sorry to disappoint you, but there is nothing to tell.”

“You guys should have heard the college stories Y/N told me over late-night phone calls. Wilder and wilder with each phone call.”

“Oh, please. I’ve cleaned up the act.”

“I find that hard to believe, but okay.”

You only playfully rolled her eyes at this, satisfied with Yuki dropping the interrogation, 

“Okay, I need to pee.” Yuki shuffled her way out of the booth before heading to the restroom, which was inconveniently upstairs. Once she was gone, a soft chime of Suguru’s phone rang, calling him to attention, he stepped out with a small mutter, something along the lines of a smoke break.

Leaving you alone with him.

“So you were a party girl?” Kento broke the silence between the two of you.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You don’t seem like the party type.”

“Looks can be deceiving.” You responded a little too sharply, sighing before continuing, “I was a very repressed and sheltered kid, so when I went to university, it was like everything and nothing at the same time. I was free to do what I wanted but didn’t know what to want. I made so many bad and embarrassing memories, from throwing up on my crush’s shoes to falling off of bar tables because I didn’t know what control was. And the many nights spent with strangers, I don’t regret at all. Even the awkward and embarrassing ones.”

“Do you regret losing it in university?”

“Surprisingly, no. I don’t regret any decisions, not the parties I attended or the men and occasional women I had fallen into bed with. They all helped me figure out what I enjoy,” Your eyes flicked to his lips, “and what I want.” your eyes flickered back up to Kento’s eyes, “I wouldn’t have minded waiting either. I think we as a society put way too much importance on virginity, so I never really thought of it as losing something or gaining a badge of honor. I saw my virginity as just a thing that happens. I am not a dramatically different person because I had sex, nor would I be if I hadn’t.”

“Oh.” 

“You aren’t a man, or do you have many words?” You giggled at him, making him blush at your happiness.

“Let’s go on a date.” He said with a black face.

“What?” 

“The bathroom was nice, but why on earth did  I have to climb a thousand and one stairs to get there.” Yuki came back, sliding herself right next to Kento, but you didn’t even process what she said. The only words you heard were Kento’s, as they repeated in your ears repeatedly. 

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Y/N?” Yuki called your name.

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Yes.” You said to Yuki, but indeed, it was directed at Kento, 

“Yes.” You repeated as you fought a beaming smile that desperately wished to be worn on your face.

Preview...

"I think I quite like you on your knees."

TAG LIST: @marikuchanxo @sukunasstomachtongue @getosgirlfailure @allysunny @tojicvmslut @typefeisu @aiyaaayei @villsophie @sillysillygoofygoose @jinleft @rivversin @haikioo @destinyblue-jjk @ramonathinks @actuallysaiyan @actuallysaiyan @melisuh123 @ureuphoriasworld @jaeminsmilk @rileyglas @bonnieblue0606 @alwaysfreakingout @lovelyiida @ayesayman @dreamgirl5300 @swoozleee @belle-oftheball34 @zeunys @yuzu-ku @aomi04 @y0urpr3ttyp0ck3tpussy @zombriesworld @hazzelle-kento @miinhooo @lucilles-witchery @areyouflying

CHAPTER FIVE: UPLOADED

[leafsbabe]

Travis Kelce - private show (SMUT)

2k, there is a butt plug in this in case you don't like that

He loved his team, he truly did, but Travis was also very glad when their post-training meeting was over and he could dip. None of his teammates tried to stop him as he all but ran out of the room, something he was grateful for. In the past it had been a given that he would walk out with some of the other men, talking, joking, but nowadays that had become a rare sight. He was always in a rush to get back to his room, back to the closest thing he had ever come to an addiction.

Away games hadn't been the same ever since he had stumbled across that fateful link.

By some lucky coincidence the facilities for the visiting team in the field they’d be playing tomorrow were absolute ass so the chiefs had rented out one of the hotel meeting rooms for their review. Meaning all Travis had to do to get back to his room was hop onto an elevator. After that he was free to lock himself in his room until it was time for dinner.

The elevator crawled up to his floor at a snail's pace but he stopped himself from impatiently rocking back and forth on the soles of his feet. When it finally came to a stop he started to squeeze out of the elevator before the doors had fully opened but he didn’t even care how it looked, he was already late and he didn’t want to miss any more.

The door to his room slammed shut behind him as he stormed in, jumping onto the bed with enough energy that realistically it should have broken but by some miracle stayed intact as he opened his carefully changed laptop while attempting to toe off his shoes.

The website didn’t automatically open once he clicked on his browser but he had been visiting it religiously to the point that it autofilled after a single letter. His pants started to feel too tight before the site had even finished loading and Travis couldn’t help but groan at the realisation that he fucking pavloved himself into getting a semi at the mere thought of you.

The stream had already started but hopefully he didn’t miss much. A familiar background greeted him before his eyes focused in on you. Splayed across the bed you’re a sight for sore eyes, hair messed up just enough to let him know you’d played with it before he logged on, body clad in next to nothing. A new, expensive next to nothing. Good to know all of the money he sent you got put to good use. 

He waited for you to greet him like you usually did, surely you must have noticed him joining your stream, he was your biggest fan after all, but when you didn’t he sent you a message over private chat. Expensive, yes, but he didn’t need people knowing his dirty little secrets.

Finally you acknowledged him. 

“Hi bigyeti, nice of you to join again.” It seemed like a standard greeting but he knew by your tone that you were annoyed at him for being late again. Brat. Travis watched you slide a hand over your bare skin until it reached the lace covering your chest. But instead of teasing one of your hard nipples through the material or even taking it off to show the irresistible swell of your chest you just ran your fingers over the seam at the edge of your bra. “As much as I think this set is cute, this will probably be the last time you’ll see me in it. It’s not really comfortable and I can barely get it closed by myself.”

You were probably hoping for messages offering to help you with that but Travis had been watching long enough to read between the lines. You were going to offer up the set but beat you to it. His simple message didn't get a written reply but he noticed you look off screen before smiling. “You know the price bigyeti.”

You didn’t take it off though, just changed positions until you were kneeling on the bed. It was only then that Travis noticed the selection of toys laid out in front of you.

“What do you think,” you picked up one of them, dark purple and intriguing, but not his favorite of the spread. “Should we run a poll or let the highest bidder decide?”

He sent you a rack before you even had time to decide, after which he finally rid himself of his sweats and underwear.

“You know which one.” Your sweet voice read his message in the chat, laughing as you held up the one you knew he wanted. Pale pink with ridges that could get you off every time, filling you up perfectly before the vibrations took you out. The first time he had watched you use it you had squirted and he had been hooked ever since.

“Should I be concerned big? You seem to like this little guy more than me.” You pouted at the camera, bringing the vibe up and tapping it against your bottom lip. 

Travis groaned before typing again. Hopefully this would be a one handed operation soon.

“You know you’re my favorite. Aww that’s so sweet of you yeti. Want to know a secret?” He watched you lean forward, holding your chest into the camera with practiced ease. “You’re my favorite too.”

Travis slowly stroked himself as you bit your lip, reaching behind you and finally freeing yourself from the lace. You had been truthful about how ill fitting it was, his eyes automatically drawn to the red indents on the side of your boobs. He fantasized about getting his mouth on them, of soothing your flesh with his tongue.

You didn’t try to act sexy as you balled up the bra and threw it off-cam, something he came to enjoy. You were this temptress, bane of his bank account and object of his desire, but you were also human.

As he saw you kneeling there Travis finally gave in and reached for his lube, because he was in his thirties now and using lotion to jack off felt awfully juvenile. He watched you run your hands over your body, just palming himself to the view of you playing with your nipples.

“We’re going to try something new today.”

The tone of your voice had him shifting, sitting up straighter and paying more attention. He didn’t have to wait long to find out what something new meant. You got rid of the last remaining hint of nothing hiding your skin before turning around into the most perfect reverse cowgirl POV he knew and there it was. Nestled between your cheeks laid a small plug with a deep red gem at the end that sparkled in the lights you used during your shows. A hot shudder ran through him as the grip he had on himself tightened.

“You know what to do if you like it.” You smiled at the cam over your shoulder before turning back around.

Travis debated between finally touching himself properly and sending you another donation when you positioned the toy he picked and he relented. He’d just send you another tip later. He was slow with his movements, teasing himself as you sank down on the toy. You stopped halfway, adjusting to the stretch, but Travis just continued to stroke his dick.

You were noisy, he liked that about the streams. You weren’t holding back but it also didn’t feel like you were putting on a show. You were simply vocal in bed and he loved it.

Treavis continued to work himself as he watched you ride the toy, torn between closing his eyes and imagining it was you that had a hand wrapped around his dick or even riding it and wanting to watch you take your pleasure with the toy on stream. He watched you move, the way you stretched around the toy with every rise and fall. It was mesmerizing, the shimmer of that salacious gem catching his eye only for his focus to be drawn away by the flex of your thick thighs, or the dimples on your lower back, or those sweet filthy moans that kept on leaving your mouth. He felt drunk on you, drunk on the fire running through him.

There was no rhythm to the way Travis was stroking his cock as he watched you, all pretense of following your movements abandoned long ago. He felt his orgasm approaching, considering for a moment whether he should try and draw it out, to wait for you and come together, before giving that idea up and quickening his pace. He came to the sound of your moans, all over his fist and with his head thrown back in ecstasy.

Travis let himself float only until the next moan tore his attention back to the screen in front of him. You were barely riding the toy at this point, grinding more than anything. Even with his muddled mind it was clear that you were on the brink yourself.

When you finally tipped over it was with a shout. Your legs shook, more violently than he had ever seen from you before, while your body contracted around the sex toys filling you up. He palmed his softening cock as he watched you fall apart, too spent to try getting another orgasm out of it but still wired enough to draw out that afterglow for just a little while longer. 

He watched as your orgasm came to an end, the shaking in your thighs never quite stopping even though the vibrations of your toy did. You removed the pink vibrator but that bejeweled plug stayed in place as you slowly turned around and sat in full view of the cam, leaning back on your hands and smiling. You were still breathing heavily but it only drew attention to your tits and Travis found himself reaching for his phone before he realized that his hand was covered in his cum and used his other one instead. He wasn’t good at typing with his nondominant hand but another tip found itself being sent your way soon enough anyway.

“That was fun.” You said, breathless but still smiling. No reaction to his message if you had even seen it. “We should do this again sometime.”

Travis got another long look at your body as you leaned forward to shut off the cam and then he was alone in his hotel room again.

Shutting his laptop before he got up, Travis went to wash his hands and clean up a bit of the mess around his dick. He would shower soon but there was something he had to take care of before that. His phone was still laid on the bed, even though he had to search through the sheets to find it.

Travis pulled up that all too familiar contact and pressed video call. You answered almost immediately, makeup still on your face but with your hair pulled back and a shirt thrown over your body.

“Was that good?” You asked as soon as the call connected. He could see you bite your lip, nervously, and he hated being so far away from you even more.

“You were perfect.” He answered, truthfully. “So hot, baby. Almost makes me want to set you up a real camming account just to show you off.”

The program you two had now was little more than a private video chat but Travis had tried to set it up nicely for you. It had involved a lot of awkward questions to one of the New Height techies but the chat worked amazing for your little cam show and your audience of one.

You just laughed at his antics. “No you wouldn’t.”

“No I wouldn’t.” He relented. “I don’t like to share, even if you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. And all mine.”

You laughed again. “All yours.” You confirmed before continuing, teasing him with an account of the new things you had brought for the two of you to try. Fuck. He couldn’t wait to come home.

[charmedreincarnation]

How am I supposed to deal with anti-shifters and people literally calling shifting a mental illness? I know it’s real, and it's baffling how some people want me to confine myself to a reality that doesn’t serve me. It’s like they can't comprehend that our realities can be fluid and personal. And don't even get me started on the pretentious, usually well-off, white shifter content creators who make videos about how perma-shifters are selfish. It's as if they can't see past their privilege and understand the deeper connections and meanings behind shifting. I sometimes wish I could permanently delete this account from existence because it's just so frustrating to navigate through all this negativity and misunderstanding. I know now I’m in a world filled with possibilities, and yet some choose to limit themselves and impose those limits on others. I can be happy one day, truly happy one day and jt makes me angry that it makes some people mad I believe I can wake up in a new world with wealth and money and a family that doesn’t abuse me and visit my favorite movies. Im not hurting anyone

Not trying to be mean because I get it and went through this as well, but some of you are addicted to arguing and stirring things up. Some people become complicit in their own suffering because you don’t have to consume that type of content! you can avoid it if you train your algorithm hard enough.

If there’s one thing you can learn from religious people, it’s their “I’ll pray for you” mentality. If someone doesn’t believe in God, they just say they’ll pray for you so you don’t got to hell or whatever

When you encounter anti-shifters, just hope that one day they open their minds and discover there's more to the world than meets the eye. If they never choose to do so, it doesn’t affect your journey. One thing YOU SHOULD NOT take from religious people is making shifting your entire identity. Yes, it’s part of who you are, but it's not everything. When you don’t believe in God, some religious people become upset because religion is their identity, not just a belief system. Shifting and the loa are similar in that way—if you’re secure in your journey, would you really care if others believe or not?

You can block them and move on, but I know that’s easier said than done. It makes you angry because you’ve made it your identity instead of just an inherent way of life. Everyone shifts, even anti-shifters, so whether they believe in it or not doesn’t matter.

They’re like flat-earthers to me—I just roll my eyes and move on. It shouldn’t take a toll on your inherent being or mental health. If it does, take a step back. Stop diving into communities you know will make you angry. You don’t have to drag ShiftTok drama to Tumblr or rant about them. Avoid reblogging blogs that share misinformation and arguing with them. You don’t have to share YouTubers who think perma-shifters are delusional or self-harming.

Really sit down and think: if you genuinely believe in shifting and believe you can do it, would you go around trying to prove it to those with no interest in it? Are you trying to convince them or yourself? Don’t tie shifting or anything spiritual to your worth or identity. It’s just your inherent being. Everyone is God in their own right, whether they recognize it or not. It’s not your job to force enlightenment on others. Focus on yourself, use the block button, and defend yourself when attacked without meaning but if there’s no progress in the conversation, still use that block button. Stop entering spaces you don’t agree with.

LOA vs ND, be states vs A and P—some of you guys genuinely just want to live out your high school clique fantasies on Tumblr. Stop arguing and do your own thing. Engage in the free will you have and stop turning spirituality into pretentious Reddit philosophy echo chambers of people who have lost sight of the teachings. This isn’t politics no one focused on their journey and life cares okay; no one cares. It’s should be very fun, engaging and simple—just remembering who you are. I know humans love labels and categorizing because we’re so diverse and versatile and three-dimensional, and sometimes that’s a lot so we want to find our “place” but your own label and true essence and limitless. take a deep breath, close your laptop, and remember you already know who you are.

I totally get that shifting has been life-changing for us, especially when so many of us have come from really challenging backgrounds. It can be incredibly disheartening to see someone tearing apart something that gives you hope. That’s why I find it frustrating when people casually say, "The only thing you have to lose is trying." Hope is a huge factor when you feel like you’ve got nothing else, and the belief that something can save you is incredibly powerful. You work tirelessly, holding onto hope despite facing the same difficulties that dragged you into a tough mental state and life situation in the first place—that's disheartening, and I’m not trying to downplay that at all.

But when you truly realize it’s going to happen, and when it finally does, you won’t even care about the naysayers. I’ve been there, looking back and realigning my thoughts, thinking about all those times others doubted everything. They argued and criticized, but in the end, their opinions won’t matter. It’s about that personal journey and the shift within yourself, the kind of change that makes all the worth it, because when you get past all that useless noise, it’s just you and the incredible things that you did that matter. This is your life so make the most of it.

[thatstrangegiiirrlll]

L x Female reader

Genre: Smut

Summary: L is consumed with his work and hasn’t paid you any attention in the last few hours. You figure it’s well within your right to do whatever possible to get him to focus on you.

“Come on babe,” you beg for the 1200th time. “Take a break for a bit. I miss you.”

L looks over at you from his crouched position — the one he’s always in when he’s working or focused on something. “I took a break earlier; I had some cake. And how can you miss me when I’m sitting right here?”

You poke your tongue into your cheek, trying to hide your laugh as you’re genuinely becoming annoyed and impatient.

“Yeah, smart-mouth ass,” you bark, hands on your hips defensively. “Not only did you eat your cake, but ya’ ate mine too! And you know exactly what I meant by that; I miss you spending time with me and not on this investigation. Sheesh.”

He blinks at you slowly with his big, sleepy, doe eyes. “You said I could eat it. And I’ll spend time with you once I’ve finished for the night.”

You huff out, “Number one: I didn’t think you’d actually eat it — which I should have known better. And number two: that’s what you said the last bazillion times I asked, L.”

“Because I wasn’t finished the last bazillion times you asked,” he replies, eyes fixed back on his computer screen.

You scoff, speechless. You know your boyfriend is an odd one, but you’ve always found it adorable. Sometimes though, there’s this little part of you that wants to choke him to an even paler complexion than he already is.

“Fine,” you hiss, walking up to him to nudge his head childishly. He doesn’t even blink let alone flinch at the push. “I’ll go play by myself — or maybe even with myself.”

“Keep the noise down please,” is all he says as you start to walk back up to your bedroom.

You scoff again, stopping to glare at him before stomping up the stairs, but to no avail. You know you’re being a brat, but you can’t help it. Sometimes L can be cold and detached from you. You understand that it isn’t on purpose and that he cares about you. But every so often you crave a bit more of him than what he’s willing to give.

Lying down, scrolling on your phone, you get an idea in your schemey little mind. You think you know something that might get L to pay you some attention.

You come out of your pajamas, only in your hello kitty slippers now. Confidently, you stride back downstairs and into the kitchen.

“I’m gettin’ a bowl of ice cream,” you announce, taking the frozen matcha treat out of the freezer. ��Do you want some?”

He pauses momentarily, taking his thumbnail between his teeth. “Six scoops with chocolate syrup, please.” He hasn’t seemed to notice that you’re butt-ass naked just yet.

“Coming right up,” you respond, preparing his bowl to bring over to him.

“Here,” you say, nudging his arm with the bowl.

“Thank—,” he stops, looking into the bowl with a deadpan expression. “You didn’t put the syrup…”

Your face begins to burn with frustration, but you ignore it, continuing with your motive. “Lick it off me first and then I’ll put it on.”

He finally lifts his head, scanning you up and down, eyes widening. His eyes dart to your chest where you’ve drizzled some of the chocolate syrup on your breasts.

He slides his slender fingers against the small of your back, pulling you to him. You gasp quietly, his cool hand giving your naked body prickly goosebumps. He then stands up and dips his head down, face-level with your perky breasts. You shiver violently as a result of him blowing cool air on your already hard nipples.

“Hey!” You whisper-shout. You’re already finding it hard to stand as your knees are buckling from the tension. You don’t appreciate being teased.

L starts with your right breast, his tongue is contrastingly warm and soft in comparison to the rest of his body. He licks around it, swirling his tongue teasingly and taking your breast into his mouth entirely, being sure to get every last drop of the syrup. He repeats the action to your left breast and then licks down your stomach and belly button to catch the remaining drizzle.

As soon as he finishes, he takes the syrup from your hand, your grip weak and loose now anyway. He sits back down in his chair and neatly drizzles the syrup over his melting ice cream.

You continue to stand there, wet, wildly turned on, and freezing, but hoping to be warmed up very fucking soon.

You snatch the bowl from his hand, staring a hole into the side of his head as he looks ahead, spoon still held up to his mouth. He licks the spoon clean and then sets it down, turning to you

“How dare you do what you just did to me and then just go back to what you’re doing? Like…are you alright in the head? Don’t tease me like that!” You shout, ignoring how innocent and unassuming his face looks right now.

“I just wanted to eat my ice cream…”He murmurs, finger-pointing to the bowl in your hand. “I mean — you made it for me.”

You gawk at him, utterly empty of words. You can’t even be mad at your boyfriend; he’s too precious. It drives you insane. The look on his face immediately fills you with guilt at how mean you’re currently being.

“Fuck,” you exasperate, placing the bowl back down on his table. You lean forward to grab his face, forcing him to look at you. “I’m sorry. That was mean.”

“It’s okay,” he replies awkwardly, looking anywhere but in your eyes.

You kiss him on his squished-in lips and to your surprise, he accepts the kiss without any cheeky remarks. You swap spit, taking your tongue out on occassion to lick his lips and tongue in circles. Nasty, sloppy kissing is your favorite. You release his face from your grasp so that he can move freely.

He sighs, looking down at his throbbing bulge through his pants. “Look at what you’ve done to me. I guess you were gonna get that quality time out of me one way or the other. But this… this just isn’t fair.”

You unbutton his pants, pulling his dick out of his boxers to relieve him. His pink tip is sopping with pre-cum and your mouth waters at the sight. He tenses up in his position, fingers tightening around his boney knees.

“Relax,” you tell him soothingly, kissing his tip with wet lips. You lick the oozing pre-cum off and then wrap a hand around his shaft, using it to rub your clit in circles.

He throws his head back again, groaning deeply. You suck him up for a few minutes, stopping in a decent enough time to postpone his nut.

Dick still incredibly hard, you situate yourself onto L’s lap, his wood slipping inside of you most satisfyingly.

“Mmmm — fuck yeah,” you squeal, letting the full feeling of him slowly enter you sink in. You instantly warm up at the intimacy.

He pulls you a bit closer, wrapping his hands around your waist, thumbs caressing your ribs. “I know I’m pretty cold. Sorry about that,” he apologizes, using feathery strokes with his fingernails against your sides.

“It’s okay, it feels nice,” you reply honestly. Now that you’ve become hot and aroused, the coolness his body provides is refreshing to you; like a cold glass of ice water.

You pull him by his shoulders, tilting your head into the crook of his soft neck to make out with it as you start to ride him carefully.

He bites his bottom lip to conceal his sounds. You hear him fighting to quiet down his whimpers and pants, an occasional sound escaping into your ear anyways.

“Shit, you’re so fucking deep.” You graze his ear between your teeth, using your hips to deepen and quicken your skillful riding.

He kisses you as you continue to thrust against him, fully in control of everything now. You like that he lets you take charge sometimes; no toxic masculinity, complete acceptance, and vulnerability. Crying and whimpering in your ear like a needy and helpless man; now that — that is your weakness.

You tangle your fingers into his hair, intensifying the kiss with the control you have over the direction in which his head goes.

He pulls back, looking at you with half-open eyes. “I’m gonna…I’m about to cum.”

You kiss his forehead messily, closing your eyes tight in deep focus. Your final thrusts are aggressive and desperate, the taste of your orgasm nothing short of delectable. The chair squeaks loudly with all the movement going on. You shudder, yanking his head back frantically as you cum on him. He cums right there with you, his face beaming gorgeously with a deep red against his translucent complexion.

The two of you catch your breath’s, gathering yourselves just enough to come back down to Earth.

L sigh’s, turning his head to examine his bowl of melted ice cream. “Guess I should drink that now.”

I love Death Note so much. L has got to be my favorite character like.... Fucking ever. And this was hard to write tbh. L doesn't seem overly sexual at all, so I had to get creative with this one. I love submissive men. They're so hot. - Ash <3

[crheativity]

…YOUR CALL.

SUMMARY: The time has come for you to depart from Twisted Wonderland. Fortunately, it might not need to be forever.

WARNINGS: This is angsty, but with a happy ending!

COMMENTS: asdfjhgh writing via dictation is hard, I can’t think and talk at the same time apparently LOL, enjoy!

(Find part 1 here)

“What are you doing here?” Ace asked, suspicious. “Shouldn’t you be in tutoring sessions with Riddle right now?”

Ace and Grim were standing outside of Crowley’s office. He had been wondering why headmage had suddenly wanted to see him and Grim, and now that Deuce had arrived, he was even more confused. He didn’t think he had done anything wrong — at least, nothing worth talking to the principal about. And now Deuce was here too.

Curiouser and curiouser.

“Well, I should be,” Deuce replied, “ but I suddenly got a summons from Crowley. Riddle agreed to postpone the lesson as this is probably a lot more important.”

“Yeah no kidding.” Ace crossed his arms. “Got any idea what we’re here for?”

“Not unless you’ve done something wrong.” Deuce grumbled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Hey! That was uncalled for. I’ve gotten a lot better lately.” Ace huffed and rolled his eyes.

That was true, Deuce thought. We both have.

In the months you’ve been away, a lot has changed. Deuce had thrown himself into his studies and his track team meets, Ace had started (reluctantly) babysitting Grim and focusing on basketball a lot more and Grim was trying harder than ever to become the best mage he could be.

Yet they never forgot you.

Every day, at least one of them would make the long walk to Ramshackle. They would ensure that the place was neat and tidy and that there were still snacks in the cupboard. After all, you were supposed to be coming back soon, right?

…Right?

No matter how hard they tried to contact you, they never heard anything from you. They never saw you online. You never sent that promised message that you were okay.

None of them wanted to admit it, but they were worried.

“At any rate, we should head inside. It’s just about time.” Deuce said, glancing at his watch.

“Do you guys think this might have something to do with…?” Grim interrupted nervously.

Silence. Ace and Deuce glanced at each other.

“Best not to get our hopes up.” Ace said cheerfully, though neither Deuce nor Grim could miss the strain in his voice. He hastily knocked on the door.

“Come in!” The headmage’s voice called out.

Taking a deep breath, they opened the door.

“Ah, how wonderful it is to see the three of you again!” Crowley exclaimed with a smile. He got up from behind his desk and made his way towards the three of them. “How have your studies been of late?”

“Er, fine, thanks.” Ace replied, awkwardly. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Excellent, excellent! No doubt due in some small part to my excellent guidance, no?” He clapped his hands together. “Ah, my kindness truly knows no bounds!”

“Um, headmage?” Deuce asked, “What is it that you wanted to talk to us about?”

Crowley grinned.

“Ah yes, about that. You see, I am a generous man.” Crowley laced his fingers behind his back and started to pace in front of them. “I care for my students—“

Ace snorted, and Deuce stood on his foot. Crowley shot a glare at the two of them.

“Ahem. As I was saying, I care for my students, and try to make myself aware of their behaviours on campus so that I may reward those who do good deeds and punish those who failed to comply with the rules. Are you following?”

Ace, Deuce and Grim shared a glance.

“Not particularly.” Ace replied.

Crowley groaned. “I am simply trying to express my gratitude for your continuing, and unwavering maintenance of the Ramshackle dorm, and for your continued hope in the magicless Prefect’s return.”

Their hearts sank. Was that all he wanted?

“Of course, such impressive dedication must be rewarded, no?” Crowley nodded, staring at the door to his office behind them.

“We’re getting a reward?” Ace asked, confused,

“Why of course! If you will turn around and look.”

The three of them turned around—

And gasped.

“Hi!” You grinned at the three of them. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t contact you guys sooner, apparently my Wi-Fi is different from your Wi-Fi so the phone didn’t wo—“

Before you could finish your sentence, two pairs of arms had reached out and grabbed you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. Wrapping your arms around them, you held your two best friends close.

“I missed you guys so much.”

“We missed you too, Prefect.” Deuce mumbled, giving you an extra squeeze.

“Please don’t leave ever again.” Ace muttered, and Deuce nodded vehemently.

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on it for at least—“

“Henchman!”

Extracting yourself from the hug, you looked around to see Grim standing in front of you. tears sprung up in your eyes at the sight of him.

“Grim!” You began to make your way towards him, planning to scoop him into a hug.

“Not so fast!” Grim exclaimed. He was clearly very happy to see you, but someone had to maintain appearances. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, leaving your master on his own for so long!”

“What do you mean on your own, huh?” Ace retorted. “I’ve had to babysit you this entire time!”

“Yes yes, you’ve been a very good substitute henchman I suppose.” Grim waved Ace’s comments away. “But that does not excuse the fact that my henchman abandoned me!”

Ace scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Grim.” You did your best to appear contrite. “I’ll buy some tuna to make up for it?”

“Better be the best tuna Twisted Wonderland has to offer.” Grim crossed his paws, trying to appear angry, but the smile on his face, and the tears in his eyes, gave him away.

You scooped the cat into a tight squeeze. “Of course it will be.”

“Well then,” Grim spoke happily, returning the hug. “I suppose I can reinstate you as my henchman.”

“Job’s all yours” Ace grumbled.

“Ah, such a happy reunion! Aren’t I so generous, spending all that time finding a way for the Prefect to return, hm?”

You grinned. You’d almost missed the headmage’s benevolent speeches.

You sighed happily.

“I’m back.”

♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥

[rainybubbles]

Silent- Gaz x plus size reader

Summary : Finding a way to relieve the stress of work in a DnD discord, Gaz meets Silent. A player whose microphone is always turned off, using chat only. Maybe he'll find a way to break the silence with them and finds why their mic is off…

(Sorry in advance, English is not my first language, so sorry if it's bad or OOC.)

-TW social anxiety.

-"What a quiet kid you've got there. I wish mine was as calm at home."

-"Oh, you know, they're pretty mature for their age."

-The laughter faded into distant murmurs as I glanced over at the other kids.

-Yelling, chasing, breaking a vase or two—my eyes couldn't look away from them.

-They seemed to inhabit a world entirely different from mine.

-A world where scraping by at month's end, nightly dinners, locking up the house, solo bus rides, laundry routines, and helping siblings with homework simply didn't exist.

-Because, after all, they were just eight years old.

- But so was I…

-So why didn't I have the right to have fun, yell, chat, ask for sweets, act immature, or doodle on walls?

- My hand reached out briefly, hoping for a connection, but my mom's glance quickly reminded me to stay put…

-Being silent seemed to be the key to earning praise and keeping peace.

-So, I stifled that urge, withdrawing into myself, standing alone behind her legs, engulfed in a heavy silence.

____________

"Silent, huh?"

-My gaze drifted slowly to the chat.

-"Yeah, dude, they're usually a regular on Thursdays. Never says a word, their mic's busted, can't afford to fix it," one of the guys responded.

-The tone carried a hint of disdain.

-I felt out of place.

-Yet, I stayed put, unable to leave the server.

-It was the only place where I felt I could express myself.

-Through words, carefully chosen, controlled, retyped, erased, and sculpted to bring a story to life—a space where my imagination, so often overlooked, could finally roam free.

-By chance, I'd become enamored with Dungeons and Dragons.

- The only snag, of course, was the void in my social life.

-So, like figuring out how long it takes to cook broccoli, I scoured the internet.

- Discord groups organized sessions. I panicked at the sound of mics, voices.

- What would they think of me? What should I say? What could I do? And then someone asked if my mic was broken.

- Ever since, I'd stayed that way, and the nickname Silent stuck.

"Hi Silent, then :) I'm Kyle aka Gaz."

-Usually, I ignored introductions.

- People interested me little, their characters were the interesting ones.

-However, Gaz hadn't spoken those words aloud.

- He had written them. It was stupid honestly, but few people wrote back to me, few people responded to me in writing.

-Everything was done orally.

-Suddenly, someone was on my turf, reaching out.

-The campaign proceeded as usual.

-My thoughts were focused on my actions, the dice rolls, and the resulting outcomes.

- Yet occasionally, I let my eyes wander over Gaz's profile.

________________

-"Hello guys, I don't know if I've played with some of you before or not. "

-"Don't worry, we accept everyone. The days are rarely fixed."

-Gaz was back. It was Friday. It was my favorite group, the game master Ylias really managed to transport you.

-"Well, I'll start then-"

-Ylias started rambling, I followed the story when I noticed a notification in the discord. My finger brushed it, and then ignored it.

-What would he think if I clicked now? that I'm a friendless attention-seeker? But if I wait, they'll think I don't care about the campaign?

-So I waited 5 minutes, trying to find the right balance between the two.

-"Hey, Silent. I missed a campaign without you, the others keep on rambling about their athletics, last time I even had a guy mimicking a goblin with his mic, I'm glad to see you back in text :) !!!"

-Pressure flooded over me. What should I reply? A heart? Thanks? Ignore it? Tell him he's nice too?

-"Thanks."

-Too cold, too short. I thought it wrong, I should delete it, rephrase it, add a smiley, make it warmer, he must think I'm a monster.

-"I think we should try opening the door, are you coming with me? I don’t feel like going into the forest with the rest of the team."

-Oh. Usually in campaigns, I go with the flow, I heal and stay in the background. I never-

-"You need a score of 13 for that, folks". Ylias said.

-"Come on, Silent, roll the dice." Gaz replied

-Nervously, my mouse hovered over the virtual dice. With a score of 15 showing, I heard Gaz's laughter.

-"I knew we had to do it! Let’s go, plus with your stealth, impossible to get spotted. "

-"We'll see about that." Ylias replied, laughing.

-And just like that, Gaz made me smile. It was probably one of the worst campaigns, but it was the first where I could finally choose my actions.

__________________________

-"Back again :) ?"

-" Yes."

-Dry, too dry.

-"I was waiting for you. "Gaz replied.

-" Why? "

-"I don’t want to play a campaign without you, you bring me luck."

-" I'm not sure about that. "

-"Yes. I tried a campaign with colleagues, we died blowing up. "

-"Probably because of your colleagues. "

-"Okay, maybe my colleague set fire to a mystery barrel. But it was their first campaign. "

-"You're recruiting? "

-"Introducing them. He's trying to quit smoking, and I thought DnD could occupy his free time."

-I stopped myself.

-Curiosity, imagination, everything overwhelmed me.

-What was it like to be close to colleagues like this, to freely discuss your passions, to laugh…

-"And then?"

-" It's not his thing, he's more into action. "

-"I see. "

-"It's not for everyone. "

-"Is it your thing? "

-"What? "

-"To let off steam? If your colleague needs it, so do you, right?"

-Stupid. Too personal a question. Invasive.

-"Yes. It allows me not to think, to be someone else."

-" Me too."

-" Plus, being an elf is great."

-" You say that because I am one."

-" Maybe. "

-"Thank you. "

-"For? "

-"Talking in chat. People usually ignore me outside of campaigns, they don't respond by text."

-" They ignore the sexiest elf?"

-" There's no image, you don't know what I look like"

-". Hm, exactly! I imagine your elf tall, muscular like the Rock, hair like Gordon Ramsay's, and maybe makeup like Ru Paul's."

-" I'm not sure about the result. "

-"Sexy."

-I snorted at my screen.

-"Ok."

-" How do you imagine me? "

-"Your wizard? "

-"Yes. "

-"With long hair, maybe dreadlocks, white eyes, and a smile. "

-"A smile?"

-" Your voice sounds soothing. "

-"Really? "

-"Yes, sorry, it's weird to say that, I shouldn't have."

-" No. No. I've never been told that, I was just surprised, that's all."

-" I see. "

-"So, a sexy elf and a smiling mage.

-"Sounds like the beginning of a weird porno."

-He responded with a meme.

_________________________

-"So, what do we decide, Silent? Honestly, I don't want to raid the goblin but the vampire to face, I'm sure the score will be high." Gaz asked through his mic

-"It's your choice, not mine."

-"they're right, Gaz, this one's all on you," Ylias said.

-"Can't I even ask for help?"

-"Score of 15 in insight to spot an ally." Ylias announced.

-Gaz scored a 10. No one addressed me throughout the campaign.

________________________

-"Back, Gaz?" someone said.

-Three weeks of radio silence.

-My mind had been looping, wondering if my refusal to break the rules had driven him to find a more interesting group, a more exciting duo.

-But there he stood, his username glowing green.

-"Yeah, I finally got some days off."

-"Good for you, man."

-"So spill, I see some new names and all!"

-Strangely, his voice had become grating to me. I didn't understand why, so before he could reach me, I disconnected.

- Alone in my apartment, I held my knees to my chest.

-Why am I reacting like this? He's entitled to a life, damn it.

-I fet like he...gave me up.

-Shit it's stupid.

-I didn't understand. I tried to calm myself, but the deafening silence of my apartment seemed to slowly engulf me, and before I knew it, I found myself in a new spiral of anxiety.

____________________________

-There were no campaigns. I just liked reading. Reading what had happened. Living vicariously, imagining their voices, their reactions.

-"hey :)"

-The off-campaign tab was blinking.

-He was addressing me, I knew it, I was the only one online with him.

-My thumb grazed the notification, but I ended up entering the chat.

-"hey."

The period was too harsh, too dry.

-"It's been a while! Something happened?"

-"Work." I answered.

-That's a lie.

- But lying is like oxygen, it's easy to come up with excuses to avoid others.

-But harder to let go of it to face the potential risks of social suffocation.

-"I know quite a bit, just got back from mine."

-"At 1 am?"

-"Yep."

-"Cook?"

"Soldier."

-A shiver ran through me. Uniforms had never been positive in my life.

- As the long seconds passed, I hesitated.

-"Not a fan?" Gaz asked.

-"You could say that."

-"Military family?"he asked.

-"yes."

-"I see."

-"Sorry, that's stupid."

-"No, I understand, I mean, we all have red flags." He said.

-"It's not a red flag."

-"You'd been quiet for 5 minutes."

-"With everyone." I answered.

-"Everyone?"

-"I'm not the best at socializing."

-"Really? Yet when you blew up a castle instead of talking to the princess in a campaign, it seemed normal to me." He joked.

-A laugh escaped.

-"And you?" he asked.

-"Me?"

-"Your job?"

-"Proofreader."

-"For books?"

-"Yes, I read, annotate, and correct."

-"No humans."

-"Exactly."

-"Would you like to add me? I'm not super comfortable with everyone seeing this."

-"Why?"

-Stupid. I should have accepted without questioning.

-"To prevent everyone from knowing the secrets of the sexiest elf on the discord."

-Always there to catch my blunders.

-I accepted it even though suddenly there was added pressure, what to say when there's a pause?

_____________

-"A dragon arrives and—"

-My eyes glanced at my notifications. Kyle was in the campaign but—

-"The narration is terrible, isn't it? The guy has been stuck on the dragon for thirty minutes while Théis killed it."

-He was writing to me. Like someone whispering in your ear during class.

-"Yes, Roxanne is a beginner, but she'll get there."

-"So kind."

-"Not really, one day I insulted a game master."

-"Oooh, a gangster among us?"

-"Never, besides, you'd arrest me, wouldn't you?"

-The ellipses seemed to linger.

-"I wouldn't mind."

-Oh.

-"I don't want to end up in a secret government cave."

-"Caves are old school, we have containers now."

-"I don't know if you're joking."

-"Classified."

-"Gaz…"

-"I'll keep the secret, I think you won't have a choice but to be arrested by me someday."

-"… it won't happen."

-"Why?"

-"I haven't committed any crimes."

-"Not even indecent exposure? I thought you were 45 years old and hiding in bushes naked."

-"For that, I'd have to leave my house."

-"Quite the homebody?"

-"You could say."

-"I'm the same, I don't like going out much."

-It's different. I didn't know what to add, so I let him continue the conversation.

-----------------------------

-"Still into your nerd stuff?"

-Gaz looked up at Soap.

-"It's not nerd stuff." Gaz said.

-"Dragon, princess, elf, discord all mixed together. It's nerd stuff. "Ghost replied

-"Dressing up as a skeleton at Hot Topic too, L.t."

-"Ooh, I wouldn't have liked that. "Soap laughed. "But seriously, don't you think about doing it for real? I mean, gathering around a table."

-"They think about it, but we all live in different parts of the world."

-But it would be amazing. Maybe he could even hear Silent's voice, see them…

-"Hm." Johnny said with a smirk

-"What?"

-"It sounds like you have someone in mind."

-"I don't have anyone in mind."

-"Not even an elf you get along with, Garrick?" Ghost retorted

-"I- we're a duo, it

-"It's different."

-"I mean it, we just get along."

-"So if you check discord in a military bar at 11 p.m., it's not to reply to him second by second?"

-"Shut up," Gaz said as the two laughed.

__________________________

-"You're not participating anymore?"

-I ignored his message.

-Three months.

-Three long months of descent, of confinement, of discomfort, of crises.

-Everything was too much.

-Crowds, outside, errands, people.

-My lungs constricted at the thought of meeting someone's gaze. My eyes avoided every contact. My lips were dry from lack of words.

-"I admit that campaigns suck without you," he had written.

-That was two weeks ago.

-"I refused to play with Théo, he wanted to take your place," he had sent.

-That was three months ago.

-"The office GIF."

-Three weeks.

-He… Gaz had never stopped.

-No matter the views, the winds, his boldness didn't stop.

-I was confused.

-Usually, people quit after a month.

-They had better things to do, and I understood. The burden of my social anxiety was mine and shouldn't inconvenience them.

-So why was Gaz standing there carrying this burden unknowingly? Coming back every day, bearing a heavier load…

-"hey."

-Three letters.

-Too short.

-Too dry.

-"Sorry." I continued.

-For what?

-I didn't deserve his forgiveness, I knew it.

-"Glad to see you're back :)" he replied.

-A tear rolled down my cheek.

-"thank you." I replied by text.

-For staying.

-For not asking questions.

-For welcoming me.

______________

-"Sorry, I was at the hospital, do you think I can join the campaign or not?" he had sent.

-My eyebrows raised.

-"No. Wait, you're just out of the hospital and your concern is DnD?"

-"I should really stay by my favorite elf's side."

-"Gaz, seriously, are you okay?"

-"Fractured ribs."

-"Ouch."

-"Broken arm."

-"Wait, what—"

-"And a bullet in the thigh."

-"Wtf."

-"But I'm fine."

-"No."

-"I assure you, I've had worse."

-"And???? You need to rest, not focus on rolling dice to defeat Mindflyers."

-"…but I have no distractions."

-"I'm here."

-"You're in the campaign."

-"No."

-"Wait, what—"

-"I- I saw you were absent so I didn't…join that one."

-"But you only play on that day."

-"I know. But it's not the same without you."

-I didn't know he was currently smiling like an idiot.

-"Thanks, Silent."

-"No worries. Besides, I was also coming out of the hospital."

-"WHAT?! Why didn't you start with that?!"

-"It's ridiculous."

-"No, are you okay?"

-"It's awkward."

-"Oh, serious awkward or-?"

-"No, I'm used to it. I- I took the tram and I couldn't handle it, the crowd was too big, I passed out inconveniencing a hundred people, embarrassing."

-"That's not embarrassing."

-"Yes, I made people late, Gaz."

-"And??? It was for your health."

-"No, I should've known I couldn't handle taking the tram. It's been two years since I couldn't do it, I shouldn't have tried again."

-"Two years?"

-Shit. I said too much.

-"Forget that."

-"Wait, no. You help distract me when I'm on base, I can listen to you in return :)! "

-"There's nothing to say, I don't handle social stuff, that's all."

-"So, your mic, that's it?"

-"Yes."

-"My sister has it too."

-"Has what?"

-"Social anxiety."

-"I see."

-"I know it's different for everyone, but don't give up. Honestly, it's a huge step, right? Taking the tram after two years. Surely you wouldn't succeed all at once, I mean it's like rolling a 20-sided die hoping for a 35."

-I snorted.

-"Nerd."

-"You're a nerd too, Silent."

-"yes, I- I just thought I could succeed, tell myself I could do it."

-"You did it."

-"I passed out."

-"So what? next time can't be worse."

-"Yes, if I have another one."

-"Then you'll have another one, I'm sure you'll manage. Look, I can even show you a tutorial."

-I furrowed my brows and saw a video. A man in an apartment, a cast on one arm, his face cut off from the frame.

-"Quick tutorial for falling on a tram. So lesson 1, stand next to a tall person. We want a good pillow when we fall, so tall people are perfect. Then manage the fall. Fall on the person, not forward. We want to avoid a bloody nose. Especially if there are vampires on the horizon." Gaz said in the video.

-He lay on the ground pretending to fall.

-"Step three, play dead to see sexy firefighters and avoid stares, and step 4 get taken home while flexing in the truck."

-I snorted.

-"Wow, thanks for the tutorial."

-"I know, I know. Passing out pro here."

-"Do you often fall on fridges?"

-"Hm, considering the build of my colleagues, you could say that."

-"Are they as tall and wide as a fridge?"

-"My L.T. yes. With Soap, we even thought he was an android, I mean it's not human to be that built."

-"You look fit too."

-"Oh, a compliment?"

-"Gaz, I-"

-"But yes, honestly, I try to do his routine but I think his genetics play a big part."

-"Shame, no Fridge Gaz then."

-"No, you'll have to settle for Normal Gaz."

-A smile slowly spread across my face.

-"Thanks for the video, it was funny."

-"You're welcome. Plus, if I can flex with my favorite elf."

-"I'm not an elf."

-"Nothing proves me wrong."

-"Gaaaaaazzzz"

____________________________

-"Who are you posing for? "

-"No one."

-" So shirtless, sunlight, flexed arms for no one? Damn, don't tell me it's for your mom. "

-"SOAP!"

-" I'm just asking, man."

-" It's for Silent. "

-"Oh, your magical voiceless elf."

-" It's not— "

-"Yes, yes, not a magical elf, I know, no need to give me another DnD lecture."

-Gaz sighed.

-His selfie was good.

-Shirtless, in the sand, sun rising.

-He looked good.

-But he was nervous.

-What if it was too much?

-After all, this little game of sending each other sunrises or sunsets had started by chance.

-Silent had told him the view was beautiful and sent him a sunset from their window.

-Gaz replied with one from Las Almas, and eventually whenever he went to a new country, he would send a photo.

-But now… maybe it was too much?

-Sending his face.

-Price would kill him.

-But he wanted to progress the relationship.

-Maybe his face could appeal to Silent, they would send him a voice note or even a selfie back?

-"Is this too much? "

-"Hm? "Soap asked confused.

-"This photo, is it too much? "

-"For a thirst trap?"

-" To say hello."

-" It depends on the hello. "

-"Hello as in "I'm showing you my face for the first time." "

-"Oh, maybe. I thought it was a "hello, did you sleep well because look what I could bring to your bed" kind of thing. …But if I received this photo, I'd be happy. "

-"Soap. "

-"I mean, man, you're handsome."

-" Soap. "

-"Plus, who would say no to your abs? "

-"No need to- you know what, I'll send it. "

-"Also, you—"

-Gaz ignored him and sent it.

-Damn, he hoped everything would be fine.

________________________

-Beautiful.

-Too beautiful.

-My eyes scanned that smile not knowing what to do.

- How could someone like that end up playing DnD?

-I closed the conversation.

-I am…. Out of his league.

-So much.

-I could barely bring myself to look at my mirror.

-I knew what I would see there.

- My rolls, my thighs, my stretch marks, my horrible hair, this disproportionate face.

-I'm not ugly.

- But I'm not…I'm not like him

-. I'm the second choice, I'm aware of that.

-I don't get free compliments.

- Nobody turns back to look at me. I'm just…there.

-And him.

- He seemed so radiant, so kind. Damn, I wasted his time.

__________________________

-"So? " Soap asked

-"It's been two weeks with no response."

-" Ouch. "

-"It's not— Sometimes it happens, I think they are doubting."

-" Doubting what? "

-"Themselves. They…before every message, they take 5 minutes to rewrite it, every syllable is thought out and then I send this out of nowhere, I didn't handle it well."

-" You couldn't have known, Kyle. "

-"Yes. YES, I could and I messed up. They told me about their anxiety and then I send them a half-naked photo when I've never even heard their voice. "

-"Try to talk to them then. hmph."

_____________________

-"hey."

-My eyes hesitated.

-"hey." I finally replied

-" For the selfie, I can explain. "

-"No, I- it's not your fault."

-" Yes, honestly, I screwed up" he texted back

-". No, I've been looping again. "

-"You- "

-"seeing you, it was…good, really, but too good." I answered.

-" Too good?"

-"I feel- Illegitimate to talk to you. "

-"what- "

-"You're so- beautiful, and smiling and nice, and the only thing I do is disappear for days and turn up out of the blue. I-"

-" And it's okay, we talked about it." he said.

-" But you deserve better as friends."

-" I decide what I deserve, Silent. And no one beats you. "

-"…I- I don't know what to say. "

-"Send me your sunset :) I haven't had mine."

-Damn. A tear rolled down and I took my phone and sent my sunset. How can someone be so adorable?

-"Perfect." he replied

_________________

-He had continued to send his face on the sunsets. It was stupid, but I waited every time he could and I rewatched them.

-However, it had been three months of silence. I wasn't worried, he was probably on a mission somewhere.

-By a stroke of courage, I had put my phone down to take a photo with the sunset.

-He wouldn't see it. I would delete it.

-But for a moment, I felt beautiful. The sunlight on me warmed me, my outfit was cute, my curves were beautiful.

-I sent it. I would delete it tomorrow. After all, Kyle had said it could last four months.

___________

-"Hey, everything alright, mate?"

-"They're amazing."

-"Lasswell or tony ? For Lasswell of course, why do you think her wife is—"

-"Look."

-Soap raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kyle's phone.

-"Oh, oh."

-Kyle couldn't tear his eyes away from his screen

-. During the mission return, he had picked up his phone and seen a notification. Clicking out of habit, he saw it.

-their smile, their hair, their body. My god.

-"Lucky bastard." Soap said.

-They were perfect. And their belly, their hips, everything was beautiful. Kyle had always preferred curvy people, it was a fact.

-Sure, he had imagined that silently they could be one, but the fact that it was true… It filled his heart with joy.

-"They… damn. "he murmured, zooming in on every detail.

-Mole or freckle, he observed every pixel.

_____________________

-"So the elf wasn't the only one sexy." he texted.

-I raised an eyebrow at the notification as I woke up.

-"Hm?"

-"The photo. "he replied.

-Oh fuck.

-"You saw it?"

-"Yes, I shouldn't have?"

-"I thought of deleting it before, I—"

-"Oh."

-"But did you like it?"

-"Yes. you— I— honestly, I can't stop looking at it. you look radiant."

-He was lying. -No?

-"And that outfit is amazing on you, really."

-It hugs everything, why… why is he complimenting that?

-Usually, people say "those jeans make you look thinner than you are" "you look better in loose clothes" "hide your rolls".

-"Thank you."

-" I have to admit I'm so relieved. I mean if you ended up being a 40-year-old, I wouldn't have been so confident I think."

-"Oh really, wrinkles and gray hair aren't your thing?"

-"No, I'm more into curves and people my age."

-"Damn, I was about to confess that I was 70 years old". I joked.

-"I can make exceptions, but only for elves."

-"I'm lucky then."

-"Very. I— I hope to have more, or occasionally."

-"Of?"

-"Photos of you, it's more beautiful than a sunset."

"-oh."

-A warmth spread to my cheeks, a smile settling in.

-"ok."

-"ok?"

-"Okay."

___________________

-"Do you think I'll hear your voice someday?"

-It was late, or early for him and late for me.

-"I don't know."

-showing my face in a photo…

-I could control that, take back the photo, delete it, edit it. But talking…

-Talking is taking up space.

-"I imagine it smooth."

-"My voice?"

-"Hm, like a stream, it rocks slowly."

-"I might have a smoker's voice."

-"That would suit you too."

-"Maybe one day then."

-"I'm looking forward to that."

_____________________

-Those were the last words sent from him.

-No more contact.

-His absence wasn't due to missions, he had confessed to me that he was off the day before.

-So he had decided to stop.

-I tried to find excuses, before accepting the reality of it.

-Days passed and I hoped he would come back.

-Maybe he was like me, needing time to recover.

-Maybe he was hurt.

-Everything was silent.

-When four months had finally passed, I understood.

-He had grown tired of the silence. I held back a sob and closed the discussion.

-A stab wound would have been better I think.

-To ease the constant pain and intense questions in my mind.

-What had I done wrong? Was I too much? Did I ask the wrong question? Should I have kept quiet?

-Everything was spinning and I finally closed the app. damn.

_____________________________

-My feet led me to the publishing house.

-Today I had to make the final corrections for Madame Lasswell before her vacation with her wife Kate.

-Hesitant, I knocked on her door.

-An "enter" was heard and I entered the already crowded room.

- A mustached man in a beanie, a masked man, a mullet, Kate, and Gaz were watching me.

-My eyes betrayed my surprise at his presence. What was he doing here? Why now? How should I react?

-"Y/n, sorry for the crowd. I guess you have it."

-"Yes ma'am."

-My voice barely above a whisper was usual for Jocelyn. I handed her the manuscripts.

-"We're going to drink at the bar downstairs, do you want to come?"

-Come? To a crowded place, surrounded by drunk people, constant noise, blinding lights with the icing on the cake being a guy who blew me off for the year?

-"No, I'm busy tonight, sorry."

-"No problem."

-Slowly my heels turned, I took the elevator but I heard footsteps. Kyle was with me.

-"I was on a mission."

-"hm."

-"I know I told you no, but he… there were quite a few problems and I had to leave, I didn't have time to warn you, it dragged on, Ghost broke my phone by sitting on it with his stupid hard ass, and we just got back from the airport actually. Lasswell, Kate finally— she works with us so that's why I'm here"

-A silence stretched, he took a breath.

-"you didn't have to explain… I mean after the word mission, I understood I was wrong."

-"I wanted to be clear."

-"I should have asked and sent you messages."

-"No, it's okay, it must have seemed suspicious. I ask for your voice, you say no, and I disappear. The conclusion was logical."

-"but it wasn't the right one."

-"It's okay, we're here, aren't we?"

-"yes."

-The elevator rang, the door opened. Hesitant, I watched him.

-"I love it." -"hm?"

-"your voice."

-"Oh."

-"I… you're really busy tonight or…"

-"No, I just don't like…"

-"The crowd."he guessed

-"Hm."

-"I— I can invite you for dinner? At my place, we'll grab takeout, no crowds, no one to see us."

-"That sounds like the pitch of a serial killer."

-He widened his eyes. I snorted.

-"Okay, you got me." he chuckled.

-" At your place sounds good. Better than a restaurant." I admitted.

-"Cool, so…"

-"Shall we go then, yes". I murmured as he finally released the elevator button and we stepped out of the elevator.

_________________

-At his place, everything was calm.

-Not me.

-How should I stand? Too close? Too far? What to talk about? And what if I'm boring in the end? What to order? Does he like seafood or is he allergic? My eyes focused on every detail and…

-Everything's fine.

-His hand on mine, he took the initiative for the restaurant to order, asking me my preferences, and we waited for the delivery guy.

-Slowly, he asked questions about my work. I mastered it.

-And slowly everything unfolded naturally.

-Sitting on his couch, his hand not letting go of mine, he drew circles with his thumb while talking.

-I liked that. In groups, I liked… listening.

-People like to talk about themselves and I like listening to that, not participating, and Gaz understood that in such an impressive way.

-Occasionally, he asked questions in return, gauging my desire to speak, I answered and this back and forth held until the food arrived.

-Maybe everything would turn out for the best.

-Standing in front of his door, I didn't know what to add to this evening.

-A not-so-stranger, three years of virtual chat and now I was unable to figure out the right goodbye on his doorstep.

-Hesitant, we observed each other.

-"I hope we'll do this again."

-"Yes. "I replied.

-He stepped forward.

-I remained still, his face close to mine. -Kiss? Cheek? Goodbye? Whisper? -Which action would he choose? -I wished for a dice to decide, a title, or a "Gaz approves".

-"May I?"

-Oh. -I nodded. -His hands on my hips, he placed a brief kiss on my lips. -"I'm glad we managed to break the silence." -"me too."

-Perhaps, after all, I wouldn't return to my solitary silence tonight. His hands guiding me back to his apartment and the door closing behind us.

-I could easily guess that a die had just been thrown for a long evening and we both seemed to have the right score.

If you want more my COD Masterlist

[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[archerlullaby]

There aren’t enough TOTK comes back to the Chain fics out there so I figured I would write one. Hurt/Comfort, some angst, and some self-worth doubts. TOTK Link needs a hug tbh. Also, This is a Zelda slander fic, though I don’t directly hate her she kinda gets on my nerves in totk. MY BOI IS JUST SO TIRED LET HIM SLEEP PLZ.

Weariness and Worth

He was just so damn tired. He tried to be patient. He tried to put on the “Hero Façade”. But his resolve had begun to splinter with each passing moment alongside the princess.

He dragged his feet to the nearest cooking pot as Zelda strode purposefully up the Lookout Landing staircase. As soon as she got her wits about her after falling from the sky, she vehemently insisted that Purah is the first one she needed to see. It had only been a few hours since he had dragged her out of that lake, his body aching from his fight against the literal incarnate of evil, and the first thing she focused on was how she was home. How she needed to talk to Purah. How she needed a change of clothes. How she, who was a dragon for 10,000 years thank you very much, would like a good, hearty, home cooked meal, so Link, could you whip something up while I talk to Purah, please and thank you? He sighed, and all but collapsed at the edge of the fire, eyes starting to close of their own accord. The others in Lookout Landing all but ignored him, the Princess taking up all the attention while she smiled and waved as the individuals around her practically worshiped the ground she walked on.

“You look pretty worn out there son,” the elderly stablemaster chuckled, startling Link out of his stupor. This old man was the only one not rushing to greet the princess, and is instead settled a couple yards away from the cooking pot, his gnarled walking stick leaning against the inside of his knee. Link did his best to give him a smile, but only came up with a strangled-looking grimace. In the very least, he was grateful somebody at least acknowledged him. The stablemaster sighed.

“If only I was younger, maybe I’d have a chance with the young lady. I used to be something of a hero myself back in the day. Now all I got are my horses and these old bones!” He laughed, rapping a knuckle against his knee. “You are one lucky young man!”

Link’s grimace turned into a scowl. Yet again was he fooled into thinking someone cared about him. How naive of him. He stood and turned away from the old man, taking the Purah Pad from his hip. After stoking the fire, he decided on meat and rice balls. However while flicking absentmindedly through the Purah Pad for ingredients, he felt a very deep, sharp ache slam into his ribs. The pain gnawed at him like a wild beast, quickly buckling his knees and knocking the wind out of his lungs as his butt hit the ground. He gingerly felt around his chest, and came to the conclusion that becoming a dragon’s chew toy probably wasn’t the healthiest thing for ribs. He chuckled darkly. At least his shining sense of humor survived. The amusement was short lived, however, and tears pricked the corner of his eyes when he realized he used all his healing potions during the fight against Ganondorf, and that nobody, not even the stablemaster a stride away, cared enough to come to his aid. Everyone was so enthralled with that Princess. He fought the urge to bury his face in his arms and cry because he’s the Hero, the Chosen One, the Sworn Protecter of the Crown. Instead, he gathered himself quietly, stood, clipped the Purah Pad back to his hip, and hobbled out the southern gate without barely a glance towards the gathered crowd.

It had been an hour when he finally stopped walking, or rather, when his legs gave out and he flopped to the grass. The sun was just touching the western edge of the world, dew and darkness creeping into Hyrule Field as crickets began to sing. He knew he should go somewhere safer, somewhere where the wolves and the monsters wouldn’t catch his scent, but he could hardly keep his eyes open, and the smell of the earth and grass was so encompassing that he couldn’t bring himself to care about the danger. So instead, he closed his eyes and peacefully listened to the sounds of the coming night. That is, until his thoughts caught up to him. Coward, they called him. Abandoning duty for some pitiful, self-absorbed notion that he should be recognized, awarded, for accomplishing that for which he was destined to accomplish. These thoughts swirled through his head and screamed in his ears until he thought he would be deafened by the voices themselves.

That is, until the familiar and oh-so-welcome sound of time and space being torn open met his ears. Link blearily stumbled to his feet, and was met with the sight of a portal suspended in air just to his right. It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. He’s Link, he doesn’t get this type of fortune in his life. He felt like he could cry as he tripped over his feet and fell just a step away from the entrance, the burn in his side stealing away his breath. He only paused for a moment as he considered what this meant. He would disappear again, the people of Hyrule clueless as to where he went. Zelda clueless as to where he went. He bit back a bitter smile. She’ll just have to find him this time. Perhaps it was cruel, but he found that he couldn’t bring himself to care. So, on his hands and knees he dragged himself to the very edge and lurched through the swirling colors.

It was so warm, so gentle, so peaceful to just lie floating in the darkness. This didn’t feel like the icy cold waters of the shrine of resurrection, nor was it similar to the dark and damp cave he woke up in on the sky islands. No, this felt like a warm, thick wool blanket wrapped itself around his body, a soft embrace. Perhaps it was the downy feathers of the soft bed in Rito Village. Or maybe, Link mused, this was the water bed at the Seabed Inn in the Zora Domain. Sidon had spoke about a warming technology for the beds Kayden was trying to develop. Whatever it was, Link wanted to stay in it forever. Unfortunately, this peace was cut short.

“Cub? Wild, please look at me.” A familiar voice cut through the fog as he started to come around. His body changed from warmth to and almost refreshingly cool, as if aloe had been spread over a burn. A gentle magic encompassed him, one that was similar to Mipha’s, though less like a bubbling stream and more like that of the sun in the deep woods. He sighed, and snuggled further into the comfort that called to him. “Cub. CUB. Link!” Something tickled his nose, and it quickly pulled him away from soft darkness and into an irritating light. He blinked his eyes open all the way and was met with the welcome sight of a face donning a single black mark upon his forehead.

“Twi?” He muttered, voice raspy from lack of use.

“Oh, Wild, what happened to you?” Twilight asked, voice thick with emotion. Wild opened his mouth to reply before Twilight shook his head. “It doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that you’re okay.”

“Damn right. You fell through that portal and straight into Time’s lap. You’re lucky he wasn’t wearing his armor. You would’ve ended up with a concussion to add to your broken ribs!” Several chuckles came from the group, and a hearty laugh rang from Warriors. Hyrule, with his hands alighted on Wild’s side, looked pleased with his joke. Twilight merely shook his head and brushed his hand through Wild’s bangs. Wild had a thought to bat the hand away, but the worrying felt so good, so needed, that he found himself leaning into the touch, and, as Twilight continued his ministrations, Wild couldn’t help the tears that began to leak from the corner of his eyes for a second time that day. He brushed them away quickly and palmed his eyes.

“Sorry. M’fine,” he said gruffly, “Help me get up please.”

Twilight opened his mouth to protest, but Wild was already trying to shuffle himself out of Time’s lap when large hands, one on his forehead and the other on his shoulder, gently pushed him back down.

“Rest, Wild. You have no need to push yourself now. Your family is here to care for you,” Time’s voice rumbled from his chest, soft but demanding.

“But—”

“No arguing.”

Wild relented, and settled back into Time’s embrace, eyes feeling heavier than he would like to admit. Though despite the welcoming tendrils of sleep that curled around his consciousness, he couldn’t find it within himself to give in, not yet.

“What’s the matter, Cub?” Twilight still knelt next to him and Time while the others had begun to set out their bedrolls. Wild merely shook his head.

“It’s just-” he swallowed, “I’m afraid if I fall asleep, everyone will be gone when I wake up,” he whispered, embarrassment turning his head and closing his eyes so the others couldn’t see his face. “That always happens to me.”

He shouldn’t be saying this. He’s the Hero. The Savior of Hyrule. He doesn’t get to show weakness. Wild doesn’t want to open his eyes and see what surely must be disappointment on Time’s face, or disgust in Twilight’s eyes. Only a gentle warmth along his side breaks him from his thoughts. He looks down hesitantly and is met with the wide eyes of Wind, who has taken residence tucked along Wild’s hip, an arm thrown across his chest. The youngest gave him the biggest smile he could muster.

“It’s okay to be scared. I promise I’ll stay right here until you wake up in the morning. Even if you snore,” Wind said, and snuggled closer into his side. Time shifted, lying down close as Twilight tucks his pelt under Wild’s head.

“We all will,” the eldest reassured. It was only then Wild allowed himself a small smile. The doubts still ate at him, but they were lessening in their ferocity. The tiredness he felt before settled deep in his bones, an exhaustion so deep it slowed his breathing and finally closed his eyes, and finally, finally, he could sleep.

[outfitqueer]

20 Things We as Trans Wish We Knew Before Transitioning

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

Did you know that the journey of transitioning often reveals lessons that only become clear in hindsight?

When I reached out to fellow trans individuals and asked them what they wished they had known before their transition, here’s what they told me:

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I wish I had known that self-acceptance takes time. It’s a process that unfolds gradually. It wasn’t something that happened instantly for me.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I wish I had understood that support comes in many forms. You might not find it where you expect, but new sources of support will appear in unexpected places.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I never anticipated that my identity would continue to evolve. I thought transitioning would be the end of my self-discovery, but it turned out to be just the beginning.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“If only I had realized that the process isn’t linear. There were so many twists and turns along the way. It’s normal to feel like you’re moving backwards sometimes.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I wish I had paid more attention to self-care. I didn’t fully grasp how important it was to nurture my mental and emotional health throughout the transition.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Finding a supportive community earlier would have made a huge difference. I didn’t know how invaluable it would be to connect with others who truly understood me.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I was caught off guard by how many people wouldn’t understand. If I could do it over, I’d prepare myself for the ignorance and work on being patient and educating others.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Patience would have been a great ally. Transitioning and gaining acceptance took much longer than I expected. I wish I’d been more patient with myself and others.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I didn’t expect the emotional highs and lows to be so intense. Recognizing and accepting these fluctuations would have helped me cope better.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Finding my voice and learning to advocate for myself was crucial. I wish I had realized sooner how empowering it would be to speak up for my needs and experiences.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I didn’t fully grasp how much transitioning would impact my relationships. If I could go back, I’d be more prepared for these changes and how to navigate them.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Self-compassion was something I struggled with. I wish I had been kinder to myself during the tough times. It’s important to remember that setbacks are part of the journey.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Celebrating small victories was something I overlooked. I wish I had focused more on acknowledging and enjoying my achievements along the way.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Navigating public spaces was more challenging than I had anticipated. I wish I had been better prepared for the complexities and how to handle them.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Building resilience was essential. I learned that developing inner strength helps in facing challenges and setbacks. I wish I had understood its importance earlier.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Embracing my unique path was something I had to learn. Comparing my journey to others was unhelpful. I wish I had focused more on my own experience.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“The journey didn’t end with transitioning. Personal growth and self-discovery continued beyond that. I wish I’d known that there’s always more to learn and explore.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“Financial planning is something I wish I’d focused on more. Transitioning came with significant costs, and better budgeting would have eased some of the stress.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I should have sought out comprehensive legal and medical advice earlier. Having a better understanding from the start would have made many decisions easier.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

“I found that documenting my journey helped me a lot. Keeping a journal or recording my experiences provided a way to process the emotional ups and downs.”

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

[haarlep]

A bit of Haarlep masturbation? Raphael has been way to focused on dealing with mortal contracts and the succubus needs attention

There are a few times that the boudoir has been this empty before, but all told: not many. Not for so many days at a time, long stretches of silence where Haarlep is left to fend for themselves. They're not helpless. There's books. Things to smoke. The bath so big they could do laps in it. Food never runs out. Card games and puzzles. They rarely venture out, but when pressed, they could always cause trouble for any of the residents. The Archivist particularly hates it when Haarlep does a pitch-perfect imitation of Raphael.

The real issue is the physical boredom. The lack of physical stimulation. There haven't even been any visitors. The bed they share with their master is a frustratingly cold, lonely space. They're not made to be lonely. Cold and lonely is Cania and all the miseries of that second-deepest layer of the Hells. They're not interested in going back. (And the longer Raphael is gone, they have to wonder if they did something wrong, or...)

Mm, well. They don't need Raphael or his permission, and all things told, tending to themselves should remind Raphael that he has a House to keep in order, as well as his never-ending game of lanceboard with mortals.

Haarlep rolls onto their back with a petulant sigh, coal-burn eyes flicking up to the ceiling, and they run one hand down their body, over their meticulously made chest, stomach, between their thighs. They like leather and velvet and silk in equal measure, and today: silk. The kind of negligee that Raphael could've torn off them if he'd bothered to be here, and the kind of lace underwear that doesn't leave anything to the imagination.

Raphael will feel this, the stirrings of interest, as Haarlep palms absently at their cock. Inhaling, head tilting back against the pillow. He can feel everything. The tug of emotion like a thread tied under Haarlep's skin, something snagged and drawn on: if you were here, I wouldn't have to take care of myself, would I. He'll be—where would he be? Going over the finer points of a contract, maybe, sitting in a comfortable inn room, one knee draped over the other, and feeling his/their hands on his/their body.

Haarlep hums, eyes closing. They're getting warm—warmer—and half-hard under their palm, heat starting a slow drip down their spine to settle in the pit of their belly. They lift their negligee, and hook their thumbs into their underwear, pulling it down past their hips, leaving them around their thighs. The fabric pinches a little when they part their knees. They like that. The tension.

They curl their fingers around themselves, slow and mm, sensuous with themselves in a way that people rarely are with them. They take their time in part because they want to, and in part because they know this will be distracting: the slow up and down glide of their fingers, bumping over the ridges of their devillish cock, thumb running over the sensitive head.

Haarlep didn't realise how frustrated they were. It's so easy to be fully hard, to become aching in their own palm, to find their fingers slightly sticky with precome that dribbles out of him. Their lips part with a languid sigh, spine arching off the bed, just a little. Their other hand toys with the rest of their body: they scrape their sharp claws across their stomach to leave raised welts, dig claws into their chest.

Every glance of pain is a thrill of pleasure for Haarlep, and they know that every scratch will be felt on him, too. Their palm moves faster, eyes fluttering open to take in the room, to look down at themselves, the tremble of their muscles as heat builds. The shape of their cock, a little bigger and thicker than Raphael's, built to be his fantasy.

They won't last long; it's been too much time by themselves, wound up and alone, untouched and uncared for. They can already feel the tightening, the build of pressure and heat, move their hand faster, their breath coming quickly. They gasp and it's for nobody but them: just the sound of their own pleasure, head tipping back, craving the end of it.

Their orgasm comes quickly enough to take them by surprise—all muscles clenching, come splattering their stomach, dripping over their fingers. Somewhere, Raphael will be mid-conversation, and feeling the same thing, even if diluted. The waves of it. The way Haarlep's whole body answers the feeling. How Haarlep's mind is a brief, blissful, empty fog, nothing but this moment.

Afer, they clean off their fingers lazily, cattish, lapping up their own come, wiping it off their fingers and popping them in their mouth. No shame, not alone, but there wouldn't be if anyone else was here, either: to not clean themselves up would just be a waste.

Haarlep kicks their underwear the rest of the way off, letting it fall to the floor, and rolls onto their front, pulling a pillow towards them, their wings spreading out and relaxing. Then: they hear the smoke-burst, smell his perfume.

They close their eyes.

Of course this brought him home, undoubtedly wanting, expectant. They're stuck somewhere between deeply amused and profoundly annoyed.

"You're too late," they say, as they feel Raphael's weight join them on the bed. They crack an eye open. He looks, mm, pissed, brow furrowed. Haarlep yawns, pointedly, and turns away, nestling into the sheets, flicking their fingers at him dismissively. "I'm already spent, master. You'll have to wait your turn."

[sempiternalmuze]

whispers in the forest

Whispers in the forest - Druig x reader

description: lots of pining between you and Druig and the whispers only you can understand.

word count: 764

warning(s): none

a/n: woah where did this come from. likes, comments, and relogs are always appreciated!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ➶ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Druig's eyes danced over you, taking his time to observe your movements. Your powers were still emerging, but he knew even now that great things were bound to come your way. He strolled quietly until he was behind you, you oblivious as your mind focused on the sounds around you. To anyone else, it was another day deep in the rainforest. But to you, it was a million voices, whispers traveling through the wind, messages only you could understand.

"Hey." He spoke, the messages so near to becoming clear now shattered into a million pieces as you jumped to face him.

"Druig! You ruined my concentration! I was so close." You cried, giving him a small punch on the arm, lips pouted. He stared down at you, a coy smile playing on his lips.

"I'm sorry darling, I couldn't help myself."

You rolled your eyes at his childish ways. He pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapping dangerously low on your waist, his grip on you tight.

"Druig..." You started. He pulled away just enough so he was able to look you in the eyes, his own holding a knowing, teasing look. "What have I told you?" You pushed him away, walking towards the building that was currently being used as the Eternal's home.

The laugh he let out was nearly enough to make you turn around and go straight back to him. His voice vibrated through the air, engulfing you as the energy carried away in the wind. Perhaps that was one of the first things you noticed about him. Anyone else's laugh you could feel and forget, passing it off. But his, it held magic in it, a gentleness that you could only feel. You would never admit that to him, sure he would use it against you one day.

"I know they talk about me." He smiled, eyes shining.

You looked back at him, careful not to show your shock, treading around what he might be saying. "Who?"

"Who else? The flowers, the ones in your room especially, and the ones in the treehouse. The others not really but I don't really blame them." Your face grew hot as his words hit you. He had been able to pick up on their talking, how much did he really know?

"What would give you that impression?" You played it cool, trying to not make the obvious clear.

"Well, for one, you're always talking to them, giggling. Especially when you think I'm not there." He smiled, his eyes brighter now, "And I'm pretty sure I've heard a whisper or two, calling my name."

Now you covered your mouth, laughing softly. He was right, the plants did talk about him. You were sure they had a bigger crush on him than you did. Out of all the Eternals he understood your powers best, and therefore, he understood the plants that you spoke with, and the messages you communicated with them. He would take the time to talk to them, and try to make conversation without any kind of understanding of how they'd react to him.

His arms found their way around you once more, this time tighter. His breath warmed against your neck as he spoke.

"No matter how hard I try, you're always on my mind. Do you know how, how maddening that is?" His hold tightening slightly, "I have the ability to control people's minds, make them do whatever I'd like and yet...I hardly have control over my own."

You turned to face him, hands resting on his shoulders as you pulled him closer to you, his lips lingering.

"This would be a perfect moment for a kiss, I think." He smiled, never failing to only keep the joy even in a moment like this one.

"I think we should take it then."

His lips reached forward, capturing your own in a soft, longing kiss, the kind that has been building up for years, or in your case, millenniums.

You each pulled away, foreheads resting against once another. For you, it was like a breath of fresh air. Druig's hands wrapped around you once again, holding you close to himself.

"I've been waiting a long time to do that." He smiled.

You laughed, pushing away as you heard the voices around you, swirling as the energy built up.

"They're happy." You whispered.

"Who dear?" Druig asked, looking confused.

"Nature."

"Ah, there they go whispering again, eh?"

You both let out small laughs as you walked hand in hand back to the house, the whispers sure to sing songs in your favor.

[cxncordia]

@oceanicxeyes - When the Sun met the Sea

It started when they attacked that girl during the sports event.

Two weeks ago, Toño and his friends saw how one of the students from the Infinite Academy pretty much transformed into a scaly abomination in front of them and with great bravery and strength stopped her. In the nick of time, Toño was able to undo the spell that had been placed in the poor girl. It was a whole ordeal but it was doable, she got to be healed from the horrible experiment placed upon her.

This had made the Teporingos, a group of five mages and Toño, become alert about the situation. Regina had mentioned having had premonitory visions about the arrival of the new enemy and Moises had his sights set on the Infinite Academy, a school for the rich elites that was heavily secured and, behind closed doors, dedicated to the pursuit of dark magic.

The Teporingos were the protectors of this city, the Verbena mages who took care of the land and protected it from evil that sought to take it away. Moises had tracked one of the professors of said Academy and after having investigated her, it seemed that Professor Yuri Aparicio, in charge of Etiquette and Decorum of the Academy, was also one of the Cinco Brujas that belonged to the group of Nefandi that Toño and los Teporingos were trying to elminate.

Tracking her by the whole city, Toño finally stopped when he saw the red-haired woman enter the bar. He had to follow her, to pursue her and to gather all the information necessary to stop this new enemy.

However, when he stopped the motorbike only a block away from the bar Tacho realized of a particular situation that the young Mage had not come to consider.

"And how do you think you are going in?" The small talking chihuahua scolded Toño from his back pack. "Do you want a disaster for us? Don't be a fool!"

"Disaster? But what do you want, Tacho?" Toño asked, frustrated by the small dog's scolding. "I told you that we need to investigate!"

"Investigate from afar, Toñito." The chihuahua explained. "This is an adult establishment and they won't let you get through."

"Well, I could disguise myself as an adult, you know?" The boy explained to his companion. "We are supposed to hide our powers in public! An adult will have no trouble entering and seeing what is going on." Toño took the backpack and adjusted it over his shoulder, the leather jacket squeaking when the straps were pushed back. The young mage found a place to disguise himself, sliding in the back alleys where the stench of urine and trash was almost nauseating.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop...You can't make a spell like that!" The small chihuahua practically barked from within Toño's backpack.

"Why not!?" Toño huffed. "Just wait and see!" Toño focused his energies, trying to imagine how he would look when being an adult and words in Nahuatl flew from his mouth. "Huapahua," Toño pronounced in a whisper. He had learned these from his Mentor, Huey Tlanextli. Taking a deep breath and soon Toño could feel how his height and his hair was growing. How his muscles got firmer and his clothes were getting tight around him.

Being a mage really made all these experiences so interesting.

When looking himself at the reflection of the window, Toño couldn't believe it: that really wasn't him, those were now more the face of an adult. "Hehe, nice..." He cooed, touching his chin and starting to notice how different his skin felt.

"What are you doing!?" Tacho scoffed in surprise. "Magic should not be used for fun!"

"Relax, Tachito. I got it all under control." Toño responded with more confidence than he would have. He then moved away from the narrow space and back to his bike. He took the helmet and put it back on the motorcycle, starting to look back towards the location, and once again thinking of a plausible and reasonable line for this adventure. He took a pair of glasses that Moises had given him, so that the Teporingos could see what he was seeing, set them on his face and walked towards the establishment, this time, pretty sure that nobody would notice him. Or the dog in his back pack.

As he approached the door, a sound, beautiful and enigmatic was heard. The light tone of a humming echoed with delight. Toño could not help but to try to follow the origin of the song with his eyes, completely forgetting that he was supposed to approach the front door, right at the entrance. A beautiful blonde man, with flowy hair and blue eyes was singing in the establishment. The boy's eyes met him for an instant as Toño grew enraptured by the tune.

For a second he felt as if he was carried by the waters themselves, the feeling of the breeze enveloping him and the gentle embrace of the water surrounding him. He remembered those days, one summer break, when he and his Dad got to visit the beach back when he was only ten years old. What a beautiful and soulful tune this was!

[dear-wonderland]

Chapter 1

‘Is this love?’

Kenji Kishimoto x reader

<this takes place before shatter me>

<Contains some cussing><just in case someone needs it… (y/n); your name, (l/n) last name>

Your the adopted daughter of the Supreme Commander Anderson, you were brought in at a young age due to your intelligence when it came to tinkering with machines. Now you are know as Aaron's right hand, someone to be feared, creating all sorts of weapons for the Reestablishment, over time you have learned to keep your emotions in check and hardly ever smile... but what happens when an annoyingly cute new soldier is constantly trying to get your attention? Will your emotions start to spark again? Or will this mess of a world shatter your love story until it becomes nothing but a lost dream. Only time will tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know what time it was or how long I had been down here and honestly I didn’t care.

I was mindlessly tinkering with whatever I could find trying to cure my boredom, lately that seems like all I do, wake up, eat, work, and sleep, it feels like my life is constantly repeating itself, nothing ever changes, I feel like I’m slowly losing my god damn mind…

With a sigh I put down my equipment as I look at the Ak-47 I was building, I get up from my seat as I stretch looking at my surroundings, I was currently in my workshop, a giant room located under the main building in sector 45.

I take a quick look at my many projects, from pistols to tanks I have fixed and improved them all, of course I’m not the only person working in this section, but I am the one who fixes the things that no one else can, in other words I am irreplaceable to this sector, something I have worked my ass off to accomplish, Anderson might have taken me in but that doesn’t mean I got any special treatment I know damn well if I am to fail at my job I won’t go unpunished, that man has always been good at keeping everyone in there place.

I am quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I hear knocking at the door

“come in!” I say,

a soldier steps into the room

“good afternoon Miss (l/n)” the soldier gives a quick bow as a sign of respect

“Is there something you need?” I ask, the soldier was quick to answer my question,

“Sir Warner has called for you”

“has he now… for what purpose?”

“to welcome the new recruits Miss, he wants you to be ready in 8 hours”

this answer surprised me, I didn’t expect to welcome recruits so soon after the last bunch,

“very well, tell him I’ll be there”

the soldier gave one last bow as he left the room, it was quiet for a while before I decided to go to my private chambers, ‘I should probably prepare…’

—————————

After a shower I dressed into elegant clothes, just like Aaron I enjoyed looking presentable, especially when it came to important matters, I tidied up my hair as I gave myself one last look in the mirror.

After assuring myself that everything was in place I walk towards the location in which the assembly is taking place, I spotted Aaron waiting for me in the hall, once I approached him he gave me a small nod and walked into the auditorium, i quickly followed behind him.

I looked around the room towards the thousands of men, Aaron quickly found his place in front of the podium as I took my place next to him.

While he started to give his welcome speech I took the opportunity to give a closer look at the soldiers trying my best to memorize all the new faces, none of the soldiers where looking at me all to focused on the speech my brother was giving,

that was until i made eye contact with one particular man catching me a bit off guard, the man had a defined jawline and eyes as pitch-black as his hair,

for a second i wasn’t quite sure how to react so i sort of just froze, the man noticed this and i realized that he started smirking at my reaction, this pissed me off, ‘just who does this guy think he is?’,

a threw him a glare, there was no way I was going to let this guy look so damn smug for absolutely no apparent reason, unfortunately he didn’t look to intimidated by my stare and his smile only grew bigger, ‘fuck this guy!’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally chapter 1 is out! I’ll try and make the next chapters a little longer but first I wanted to get the introduction out of the way!

<Just a little note! Reader is older then Aaron (you can decide by how much I won’t specify a number) I just wanted to make her closer to Kenji’s age who if i recall correctly is 20.>