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p1utofairy · 17 days

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★ WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT IN REGARDS TO YOUR LOVE LIFE?

NOTE: miss me? hehe. i felt called to answer the bat signal (i saw y’alls messages in my ask box ILYSM) take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. thank y’all for the support always. 🫂

PILE ONE.

ooo this fall i do see a very solid romantic connection coming into fruition for you, pile 1. there’s such a high level of comfortability between you both it’s sooooo sweet and endearing. you could already be friends with this person, but if that’s not the case, they will be your best friend and lover wrapped into one. diary by alicia keys is coming to mind – wow! the energy is very sensual and venusian-like. maybe you or this person has taurus and/or libra placements? you two connect on such a deep spiritual level. i can just feel it, pile 1. opening up to this person will be so easy for you, which is crazy because i feel like you’re not vulnerable/open with just ANYBODY.

lay your head on my pillow, here you can be yourself. no one has to know what you are feeling, no one but me and you. OKAY BYE I’LL CRY RN?! the emotions between you two run very deep & i feel like you both will create such a calm, intimate and loving space for each other. this connection will be so healing — i’m picking up that either you or your person never truly knew what it felt like to have a strong support system or someone in your corner through thick and thin, but let me tell you something, pile 1. you and your person will show up and out for each other!

you might be a bit defensive or standoffish towards this person at first, because you’re afraid of being hurt or let down once again. however, i want you to know that it’s okay to open your heart and be receptive. some of you that picked this pile might have a scorpio moon, because i’m picking up that it’s really hard to knock down that wall you have built around yourself. this person wants to take the time out to get to know you, the REAL you, and all your little quirks and interests because there’s more that meets the eye when it comes to you. i feel like you compartmentalize different aspects and traits within yourself & suppress them to conform to what others think you should be/should act like — but your person is saying f*ck that. they are going to love you in all your glory.

i’m ngl you could see yourself settling down with this person. they’ll fulfill you in so many ways that others can't even imagine or measure up to. this person is going to take care of you & splurge on you. they have very dominant energy and you’re going to love that about them lol for some of you might f*ck around and have a baby with this person. for a small portion of this pile, they might already have a child from a previous relationship. if that’s not the case though, you’re just going to love how hands on they are with you (literally hehe) & how they take the lead and make all your dreams come true. your person also has a lot of sexual energy lol in the best way possible. it’s so sly and lowkey but you’ll be folding like a pretzel pile 1 LOL.

channeled messages:

pov by ariana grande, free mind by tems, touch my body by mariah carey, you’re the only one that i want, dangerously in love pt. 2 by beyoncé.

PILE TWO

i think you need to get yourself out there a little moreeee, pile 2. i think that you’ll have more opportunities to meet new people and have some fun experiences, but it’s up to you to go out there and mingle. you’ve been keeping to yourself for a while now and there’s nothing wrong with that. pulling your energy back & recharging is good for the soul, but you also need to step into your power and claim what’s yours. remember – whatever you want, wants you even more. you’re glowing tf up this fall, pile 2.

you’re definitely elevating and so many people are going to peep it, especially romantic suitors. get out of your heads my lovely pile 2’s and open your mind + your heart to the limitless possibilities and opportunities that await you. you downplay yourself too much! TALK YOUR SHIT. you’re gonna have a couple love interests trying to get your attention & shooting their shot and it might throw you off, but just go with it. f*ck it, the more the merrier. lol i’m kidding but seriously have some fun!

you’ll know who is worth the chance and who isn’t. some of you that picked this pile might be a little inexperienced when it comes to relationships/love, so you just need some side quests and test runs to decipher what you do and don’t like lol. i’m also picking up a situation-ship vibe from this pile as well – some of you might have a lot of options but all you can think about is one specific person. you might not be talking to them right now, but your guides don’t want you to worry too much about them. focus on how you can create the reality you want for yourself. you’re the main character of your story, don’t be a perpetual side character in somebody else’s. i’m getting a lot of different messages for this pile, but one of the main things that’s sticking out to me is that whoever you pick/choose to entertain, you will have intense sexual chemistry with that person lol. you won’t be able to fight it hehe it’ll be the start of something new and exciting, pile 2.

channeled messages:

body by summer walker, go out with your friends, lemon drop, out of my head lupe fiasco ft. trey songz.

PILE THREE.

oh my, pile 3. did y’all just get out of a relationship or situationship? it’s really giving that. i think you need to work on becoming more grounded, and enforce healthy boundaries with your romantic partners and just everyone in general tbh. you’re so giving and nurturing. you’re always pouring into others, but where are they when it’s time to pour into you? you’ve had to come to terms with this the hard way :( people think that because you’re so compassionate and forgiving that they can walk all over you. this feeling of frustration has bubbled up inside of you for so long now, that it makes you feel pessimistic when it comes to love.

your guides want you to release this energy and not let it set you back or deter you from opening yourself up to a new partner that can and will cherish you. your love is very powerful – you are a REAL lover! if you get knocked down, you’ll rise up 10x stronger. please remember that always. your love is divine, it’s pure and it’s simply addicting; that’s why people felt like they could just take and take and take without you saying anything to them. the person that you were previously connected to knows you have a good heart, but they don’t value it. i am very happy to let you know that there is a special someone out there that will, and they are coming towards you.

they will claim you loud & proud and be so greatful to have you in their life and by their side. your person is so encouraging and kind, yet a lil rough around the edges – you almost wouldn’t expect this from them. they’re definitely going to match your freak lol. physical touch + words of affirmation might be their love language too btw. i think you need to let go of your ex/previous situationship, and take a leap of faith into the unknown with this new person. their love will feel so freeing and refreshing <3 the love between you both will hold no bounds. you deserve this pile, 3.

channeled messages:

wait for you by future ft. drake & tems, i’ll be there for you/you're all i need by method man ft. mary j blige, maddy perez, mula, ketu-moon aspect, anything by SWV, the weekend by sza.

#pick a card #pac #pick a pile #pac reading #p1utofairy #love reading #love don’t cost a thing #paris morgan

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avissapiens · 2 years

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Avis Abstraction #6: Gym buds

You are now friends with Mason Reed. You can now message and call each other and see info like Active Status and when you've read messages.

Oct 26th 2044

Me: Hey bro Mason: Heyyy dude haha. Nice to finally meet you Me: Same. ngl i was kinda scared about signing up for the abyss. Thought they’d hook me up with someone i couldn’t vibe with.

Mason: lol. Yh i’m chill. Tho you’re lucky. I didn’t even know about that weird chip thing. Shit hurt when they put it in. did you feel like…tingles too?Me: Yh i did. Was kinda like getting an electric shock but good?? Mason: Weird. Guess we’re gym buds now tho. Can’t wait til we can workout. My weeks a little packed but i’ll defo hit you up when i’m headed to The abyss Me: Sweet dude. We can hash out our split and everything another time. Mason: For sure bro.

Oct 29th 2044 Me: Yo dude, are you on your way to the gym? Mason: yeah actually. I just got off work and thought i’d do a really quick chest workout. How’d you know haha? Me: Idk..i just kinda felt it. Maybe that’s one of the chip functions? No clue. I’m already on my way now tho if you wanna train together Mason: Damn dude yeah i’d love that! So strange, as soon as you said that I got super hyped up. Me: Awesome bro. I’m like 5 mins away. You get warmed up and I’ll chug some preworkout.

Oct 30th 2044 Mason: dude what days do you train? I’m thinking bout changing up my work schedule so i can gym more. Last night was the fuckin best workout i’ve ever had in my life! Me: IKR. God i broke so many of my PRs. The pump is insane. Still sore haha Mason: How about we hit it 6 days a week. It was really awesome to just hang and vibe in the gym ya kno. Me: yeah dude i’d be down for that Mason: Sick, i’ll call my manager to see if he can schedule me different. So pumped Me: Nice. So what are we training today bro? Legs Mason: Legs Mason: Yooo basically in sync nice haha. Me: Lol. See you in an hour? Mason: bet

Nov 5th 2044 Me: Yo Mason: I know.. Me: you know what? Mason: I know what you’re feeling bro. I feel it too. But fuuuuck its rest dayyy. I just wanna train with you. This week alone has been one of the best weeks of gym EVER. Idk if its just the chip talking but damn I love training with you. Me: Wanna head to the gym. Just do something light? Maybe get a protein shake after? Mason: Already packing my bags. ------------------------------------------- Dec 8th 2044 Mason: Bro killer workout today. We were fucking monstrous. Mason: I had a chat with the Gym owner and he says we’re progressing faster than the majority of the other Chipped dudes. Me: Yo really? That feels amazing to know fuck…like really amazing. Gotta work harder. Blow away the competition dude 💪💪 Mason: Yeah. Honestly i see it dude. You’re looking fucking massive lately Me: No way brah. You’ve been bulking like a madman these last couple months [Mason Sent a Picture]

Mason: It’s all you bro. Wouldn’t be at this level without your help. Next year’s gonna be crazy.

Jan 6th 2045 Mason: No homo bro, but your pecs are looking so fucking massive. I swear every time i saw you flex em my chip went off like crazy. Just bolting lol. Me: Oh yeah bro 😏? Mason: Yh Mason: Broooo noo stop it shittt i can feel that in my chip. Me: LOL OMG i didn’t know it could do that. That’s so fucking cool Mason: haha..yeah. Just like chill with it ok bro Mason: STOP Me: ok ok lol. These fucking chips are wild bro. Don’t even know how most of the stuff works yet. Me: woah dude wtf are you doin? Mason: I know you’re jelly of my god quads so i was trying to get you back. Guess it worked lol Me:Lol. Fucking love you bro Me: No homo Mason: lil homo? Me: haha Mason: Ya know bro, i’ve got room in my apartment. Maybe we should like room together? It’d make setting up workouts super easy Me: really dude? That’d be great! Lets hash it out some more tomorrow for Pull day. Mason: Totally

March 20th 2045 Me: hey bro.. Mason: Yo dude, wassup? I’m loving spring break in Fiji. Having a great time Me: Thats nice…you gotta get back here bro.. Mason: Wdym? Me: Its torture just like Me: IDK man. I try to keep working out. I try to keep the pump up, but jesus. Going to the gym without you is miserable Me: I feel weaker. Smaller. Fuck i feel like my chip is punishing me every time i enter that building without you. But then when i don’t go it’s like my entire brain is being eaten from the inside Me: It feels so fucking bad. I just wanna kneel and never get up. So hard to keep going Me: Please bro. I know It’s a lot to ask but just hurry home. I miss you. I miss us… Mason: Okay bro. I know what you mean. Hang in there for a few more days. I’ve been missing the pump too and the gyms here don’t really seem to hit as hard as ours anyway. Me: I’ll try. I promise. Going crazy here. Thanks bro Mason: I’ll bring you back something from Fiji. Can’t wait to lift with you again.

-------------------------------------------- May 1st 2045 Mason: Hey dude are you busy? Me: ? yeah bro i’m just out in the living room. Wassup? Want me to come to you? Mason: NO. Don’t Mason: I can’t look at you right now Me: Okay??.. Mason: Idk what it is bro..I think its the chip but fuck Mason: The last few gym sessions we’ve had Mason: I see you and the weight you’re lifting and the progress you’ve made Mason: And then i look at my own progress Mason: And I just get…fucking upset? Mason: Because you’re not progressing fast enough dude. It’s making me look bad Me:Bro wtf?! Mason: Look at this [Mason sent a picture]

Mason:I’m fucking massive compared to you. All the other chipped bros look on par with each other, but i’ve got 15 lbs on your ass. Me: Yeah…i guess.. Mason: We’ve gotta work harder bro. I fucking love you. I can’t have you being weaker than me. It makes me sick. Makes me fucking angry Me: Yeah, we’re chipped for life. There’s no going back Me: FUCK Mason: Feel that? Exactly. You’ve gotta get back on my level bro. Otherwise, well… Mason: I can feel the chip bro. Mason: I don’t like what it’s making me feel Mason: But i’ll act on it if it goes on long enough Me: Thanks bro. I needed this. I’ll be better, I promise…For you. Mason: For us..💙 Me: For us...Can I still come to your room dude? Mason: Sure bro. Calmed down a bit...think we might lose the deposit on the place tho..Ignore the holes..

-------------------------------------------------

Jul 17th 2045 Me: Bro? Me: Bro??? Me: Mason dude where tf are you i’ve been waiting at the gym for like an hour Me: i’m just gonna start bro. Me: Mason bro wtf’s going on is your chip acting up? Me: Fuck. Fuk bro Me: Stop whatever you’re doing bro thats not funny. Me:Cut it out! Me: Fuck me dude what is this

Jul 18th 2045 Mason: Sorry bro. My bad. Guess i shoulda told you. Me: Tld m wut bro? My chipz ben goin off all fucking nt Me: Fuk can barelt tyoe. Bods liek pulsing. cnt thinkkk Mason: I heard from one of the other chipped dudes down at the gym that there was a guy upstate who’s been jailbreaking the chips. Installing cool new firmware updates. He said he Only needed one of us cause the softwares connected, but i guess you need to go too. Me: WTF bro thts so fucked up! Hw cud u di tht Mason: Tho if i’m being honest. I don’t really need an update. You were the one lagging behind bro. Lets just keep it like this for a bit and see what happens Me: Cnyoujuststopthepingigbro Mason: Haha sorry. I think that’s the roider protocol. Supposed to send a shiver every time your chipbro thinks about getting bigger. Guess i’ve had one thing on my mind all night. My bad Mason: K should be good Me: This is high-key fucked mason. Mason: Wanna go the gym? Me: fuck…yes. Me: I’m getting my gear ready. See you in 20 mins..fucker. Mason: Oh bro btw [Mason sent a picture]

Me: fucking hell bro. Ok 10 mins

The Model for this one is Alex Price. Check him out. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences and writing, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server. And check out my file archive on my website.

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themaskstayson · 8 months

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Part three of the Wyll origin run

Ah man, this is a lot. I haven't had Gale so excited to talk to me since my first playthrough 500 hours ago it's kind of cute ngl

I'm thinking about Wyll being emo during the party cause the little scene is one of my favorites, and trying to cheer him up from his body dysphoria(?) but I also really, REALLY, enjoy the idea of Wyll stuffing his feelings down to make everyone happy since he can't be emo by the river since he's the party lead. Wyll is trying to keep the team morale high and then when he's alone in his bed he just cries to sleep. Cause, let's be real, no one is mentally capable to help each other when the player is the therapist.

Also, his funny lines are pretty good and I have been picking every single option to have Wyll just laughing the pain away.

So, we saved Karlach, asked her if she had any advice on horn care since I feel like that's a WAY better route to go instead of Wyll being depressed during the party when you are Tav amd makes more sense since Wyll is gonna mingle.

(Side rant: People say Wyll sucks because he's insensitive but like, come on. He's a DEVIL not tielfing! I think he's allowed to express how he feels uncomfortable in his new DEVIL body. "But tielfings have horns!" yeah okay but they straight up saw Wyll as a human like two days ago, they know something is fishy with the sulfer smell coming off him. You gonna say there's no difference??? Now THAT is insensitive /hj lol)

I also went to the Rest and Counsellor Florrick asked what the hell happened and once again Wyll joked that he was running with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately that backed fired and she said she knew since his father informed them which damn. Ulder is talking mad shit about his own son, that's crazy. Felt bad and then she had the audacity to demand my help???? Like I was gonna give it but damn.

Anyways, I was hoping to get to level 5 before the Goblin Camp but I didn't. So, we gambled it. Had Gut give me the sleep potion and got assistance for that. Knocked Minthara out cause I'm STILL trying to get that girl without being a bad guy. Then fought Ragzlin which.... that was rough. Gale did die but luckily his deas body did some damage to a goblin and Ragzlin. I usually cheese the fight but idk I decided not to this time around for some reason.

STILL not sure who imma romance. Flirted with Gale at the party, which was cute. I am leaning towards him cause I gotta stop romancing Astarion and Wyll all the time. And despite being a huge wyllstarion fan, Gale is doing something to my current need for a cute romance. Plus my other game I am romancing Astarion and Wyll (two Tav game yippee) so I should romance someone new. Karlach did not try to put the moves on me and I am not putting the moves on her so rip. First time ever Shadowheart and Lae'zel are meh about me, which is weird. I'll figure it out the next time I play but might be joining the Gale/Wyll club. I should find some fics to get into the mindset.

Also if anyone is reading these I should mention this is a modded custom game. Meaning I am using the mod honor feature unlock so i can have the playstyle with multiple saves, playing in a custom game that I cannot see the NPC HP, gave the NPC 100% more HP compared to the game 30% more. I want the multiple saves for story stuff cause I'm still trying out new lines but also I need the combat to be harder.

Honour Feature Unlock

Tactician Plus (best for party limit begone tbh this file I'm doing just 4 to a party tho but in other files with everyone, I use the 150% HP)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravengard #wyll origin run #my screenshots

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heart-of-the-party · 2 years

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we actually finished a lot of post-hw content yesterday, lemme try to summarize (things might be not in order because i am just going off memory)-

- KRILE IS SUPER CUTE (also idk why her name was localized as krile while in japanese they call her kururu (i am not gonna google this tho, dont want spoilers) the jp name makes sense lore-wise because i think that’s how lalafell naming convention works)

- i deeply enjoy the alphinaud teasing. it’s very funny.

- THANCRED!!! ngl i love his new look though tbf i also thought he had aged.

- I ACTUALLY GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN WE SEE THE WARRIOR(S?) OF DARKNESS

- my friend and i were in vc and we kept going omg omg it’s themmmmm, it’s us!!!!

- oh also one of the summoner quests was called “i could have tranced all night”, i kept reading it as “i could have THANCRED all night” and was like yeah sure :3c

- AYMERIC WHY DID YOU WALK AROUND WITHOUT A GUARD!! i knew he wouldn’t die, but for a moment i did get really worried if they were gonna off him :<

- I am glad tho that daddy fortemps or artoirel didnt get in the way and die u_u

- EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO THE ISHGARD THEME AT NIGHT OR THE DRAGONSONG MUSIC I GROW INCREDIBLY SAD (idk how will i get over both of them)

- WE GET A HAURCHIE MINION!!! and the knight of house fortemps title (with a shield that totally didnt make me emotional)!

- i like that the moment i summoned the minion, my friend and i simultaneously /pet it, like we didnt plan for it. we just did immediately. we just love him so much ;;A;;

- ALSO WHOA THE WHOLE SCENE WITH VIDOLFNIR SAVING THE GIRL WAS AWESOME

- I have to say tho the interaction was sweeter in japanese because the girl calls her shiroi dragon-san and when she thanks the dragon, vidolfnir tells her that her lifespan is short so she should treasure her life (or something to that extent) while in english she simply says youre welcome

- ALSO OMG AYMERIC INVITES YOU FOR A DRINK. idk how he sounds in english but i def felt like he was a bit flustered in japanese.

- man will we ever learn to not be suspicious of things, especially when we were told tensions are running high just before the peace meet at falcon’s nest?

- every time a random unnamed npc has a voiced scene, it feels like shit is about to go down (and it did).

- EMMANELLAIN NO!!! tbh i feel really bad for him. he’s never really been given responsibilities or reprimanded for crossing lines, he’s been coddled and ofc you cannot expect him to make good judgements under pressure. i felt like whatever happened next was pretty good. felt real. poor honoroit tho.

- MAYBE I READ IT WRONG BUT THANCRED IMPLIES THAT AYMERIC IS IN LOVE WITH YOU??? i need to go back and se this (unvoiced) line again.

- i am finally weaver level 47 (i think), i have unlocked some cool recipes but they probably require some crazy-ass ingredients smh.

well, that’s all i remember from yesterday. my sister is playing through hw now, so i ask her to guide me where haurchefant is standing in her game and i emote /hug and /blowkiss at him (or rather his ghost, since he isnt there for me), things i didnt do enough when he was around (which i deeply regret).

i am looking to join a fc but idk how to pick one since my timezone is quite different from usa lol.

#wow this was a long-ass post #i wish i made posts like this as i played hw though #oh well #ALSO HEY URIANGER IS DOING SOME SHADY-ASS STUFF #and i got a glimpse of alisaie's shoe #i know because i detest the twins' ARR shoes #thank halone for tataru's fashion sense

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alternateanonymous · 1 month

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3:41 am

Hey, so. we did it. We told Justin we just wanted to be friends. Shit was very scary ngl. I have a lot of things wrong with me lol. And it's ok. I feel better. I was in a funk and i don't know why but then i hung out with justin and talked with him about the friend thing and just vibed, it was nice. I think i realized what my problem is. The problem isn't how i deal with myself. The problem is how i deal with other people. Of course it starts from me but all of the actions correlated are because of the way i interact with people. So i suppose i should start with creating boundaries,. So i think it is boundaries and social interactions and leanring to gain confidence and trust myself more. Ya that's it. I don't overthink even though it might seem i do. I simply don't really think that much to be honest with you i don't know why. I do infact dissociate which doesn't help my case but ya. that's what i need to work on. confidence and learning how to interact with other people!!! woohh hoooo. you got it mags. Anyway.

I fucking hit someone's car. shit was ass. but lets rewind and start about the beginning of the day.

I woke up, went to work. Did lessons, did gaurding even though i didn't even guard. THEENNNNN, I went to see connor at the lake house. That was crazy. It was fun but crazy. I am a little concerned because first issue - I haven't had my period in literal months and everytime i have sex i bleed. that is defiently not good. But ya i had connor over. Then I drove to justin and during that drive I was going through the motions of being sad and it was raining and a longer drive than i expected and i was late, then i fucking hit the back of someone's fucking car and i am so scared and just like, "well fuck this shit, I could run, i could run," but i didn't of course. I stayed because what if he got a picture of my license plate I would be fucked and i am not that good of a liar. Then I was outside and just stood their as like 3 latino men about my age and 1 latina stepped out of the car. I just stood there and they barely talked to me, I looked at the damage. I didn't have a clue of what was going on. I kinda just played off of their silent energy. They also waited to get out of their car for a straight liker 5 miunutes even though it was much shorter it felt really long. But anyway the guy had no clue what he was doing and his friend told him to do everything. The damage on my car wasn't really that bad, not too noticable, but rhe his fucking car which was like a elantra was pretty ubad. The left lower bumper thing was like all fucked up and cut and the lower left part wasn't that bad slightly scratched and a little bent. But fuck, he got my license plate, my insurance card, a picture of my id, pictures of his car. AJHHHHH. shit was fucked. So i drove to justin's, mad cuz i am late foir a fuckin booty call and mad because i just crashed. So i finally fucking get there, and i am still in this funk and i'm like all frazzled as we are getting ready for the ride back., I am texting my parents as my anxiety level rise as i am about to go home on a new bike. also that question that is in my mind about justin is also going off as i see him. But then my mom is like "you're getting a new bike" and I'm like trying to keepyu the peace even though i am literally about to lose my shit. Oh, also other bad thing that happened today was that i can't get my bike insured or registered under my name yet because my insuanrce lady elaine d alonzo needed the titlle and number of miles. Also she is really mean to talk to, she has like a very stern mean voice. Well, any way i couldn't insure it yet so i have to go tomorrow which i am not looking forwarrd to. Oh also, i forgot that i have to host

a party this sunday. Completely forgot, but then i told freddy that I wouldn't be able to film sunday because i forgot that i was hosting a party and he is like ya. Also, i had to ask my mom to host a party which is a little scary. Even more scary after everything that has just happened in the last fucking 12 hours. Anyway, i end up keeping the peace witht he parents and even asking justin to switch to the bike once we get close to my house incase my parents looked outside and saw me. Then, we went home and that was one of the craziezt rides of my life. and one of the most dangerous rides ever. Well, we started off. Got gas, then justin lead. It was progressivly getting darker and the rain just kept going and not stopping. My visor was getting so foggy i could barely see anything. So then i put my visor up and now my glasses were getting soaked. But then i was getting pellted with raindrops and also i was hoping the black visor would be fixed so i put it down.

i put the other one down, but it didn't fix it./ I put it up and put the hlaf visor down and that was ok, but sometime when i lifted my head or did a pull it would come down. and that was super scary ngl. so i ended up doing liek a weird half and haldf thing but still got fucking pelted by raindrops. So we rode home after i did that whole thing. didn't crash went really slow. thought i lost justin for the first pull and slightly panicked. and got home, switched and drove back and then got in my car and left. we went to get food, uno's was closed so chilies. then we chilled i told him all about the book i read

it was nice and then we left and i told him i was in a weird funk which i was. Obvioiusly because of the thing that just happened the crash and the parent's being mad about the bike, but because i've just been in a bad mood lately anyway. Like i lacked my normal creativty because i have been able to write nothing for my new song. Also, when teaching i didn't teach with my normal energy. same thing with in the guard shack i just don't have my normal energy. so then we talked and realized how late it was. we talked in my car infront of justin's house for like 3 or 4 hours i swear. Talked all about my state, asked eachother questions, and asked eachother about eachother. i was so emotinoal i almost cried. I feel bad doing this pity thing, it's bad and weird. but, anywway. he talked my through it as we started talking about other things. It was good and i got out of my funk. I defiently think i am more attatched to him than he thinks of me. It makes sense, he has more to give to other people. i don't have like 1 if that. but then we got out of the car and i swear this was onlyu like a 15 minute conversation but it compeltly vetoed the last 2 hours in my brain. I finally told justin i wanted to be friends. And it was the hardest thing to do in my life. I was swaying and being nervous and anxious the whole time and made sure justin was ok like 30 million times oml. Then i was doing a little trauma response like trying to tell him that i had to mentally prepare myself

then he said it will be ok and if that he ever feels like he needs space, i will be able to tell or i can feel it. SOOOOOO, well see. AHHHH, it's ok. I am a little anxious for that but we shall see. Then we hugged and i left. My dad furious at my i swear to god i am going to be crucified upsidedown. i drove hom lisening to the songs he qued and sat there in silence then later only singing in. I was thinking about lossing him, about the issues about myself i need to fix like my toxicity, my stubborness, my unresolved trauma, my indecisivness, my inability to create buondaries, my insecrutitied, the wayt about how i slightly miss talking to my sister, about how i am a dissapointment, about how i had a dream about my ex and have been having them. Are they a signal from a universe trying to transtlate a message to me or just my inner deeper thoughts and desires. Who knows, but my desire was not t get back with him. That was not my desire, my desire was to simply have the luxury to be able to talk rationally with him about what went wrong. It would be nice closure. But anywa ya also just of letting that door close and how hard that and the word friends was for me. I know why. Friends is a scary word for me. they always leave, or they betray you, or you are hurt by them, or you've never seemed to have clicked close enough with them. Like there are so many reasons as the why the word friends has scared you. Like it is just tainited, even the community understadning of the world is dissicult to swallow because i am pressed to have a lot of friends. I am not scar3ed of being a friend, but i am scared to have them and hasve them betray me. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. But yua i like the grou pand justin has added me to things for the upcoming future and he is literally staying over my houser so we shall just see what happens to the dynamic. I'm and slightlyu leaning torwards it being ok just because he has things planned with me but i am still in the middle i am like 55% and 45% because of those commitments. So ya we shall seeeeeeee, or if else yet another friendgroup i lost womp womp. maybe i am just meant to be like this i thjought too, maybe i am just not meant to have friends. Like look at my past. and look at my presence, i always lost friends and still don't have anyt!!! Big red flagfgggggggggggggggg. What's wrong with her, what made her chase everyone away because she does have a bubbly smile and happy personality. why is the caveat.

so ya, all those things but when i told him that i only wanted to be friends. Not evben kidding a slight weight was lifted off my sdhoulder. I swear i did wanna bring it up but it never felt like the right time and i did wanna bring it up sooon . But he beat me to it, but hoenstly i thank him for helping me. I don't know if he realizes how muych i care for him. i fuckuing hoipe he deson't break it lol. but yea, it was hice. I am really scared and am just going to have to wait to see what happens with the dynamic but until them i just need to breath. Also, yea sang home and felt better and now i am writting this ebcause it is

euphoric magical, meditation. I am so cooked for tomorrow butit is ok. I neede this. I did. It's ok. Be strong maggie. live in the moment, dissociation has also been on your mind. ASSSHHHHHHHH, oh and if freddy could/would/ is liking you. and for not hanging out with your parents. Lot's of stressors. Ok, feeel. feel these things after you have typed them out. You are sad, anxious, stressed, wanting to feel warm, wanmting to feel alive. wanting to start a gtoal but being lazy. You need to get your shit together.

goodnight maggie. Good luck. Feeeeellllll the flow, feel you.

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shunsuiken · 4 years

Note

hc’s for Kuroo and Bokuto with a fem!s/o that DOES NOT STOP TALKING!!EVER!!! like she seems quiet and calm at first, but then she surprises them; please 🥺🥺 xo

due to my illiteracy i read kuroo and kenma sdsjdksj i still wrote bokutos hcs tho so dw! thank u for this request<3

kuroo, kenma and bokuto having a talkative fem s/o.

—kuroo tetsurou.

so when you and kuroo first started dating

you guys were kinda nervous at first but thats natural for a new couple

after a few weeks though, you guys began opening up quicker and more comfortably with each other

communicating became much easier as well when you both learned each others love languages through lots of trial and error 💀

then came this time where

it was as if

your soul had switched with someone elses

because kuroo knew the type of person you were and what you were like

but that was not what he felt when he saw you excitedly chatting away with your friends regarding some movie that came out last week

(you guys are also laughing HYSTERICALLY with each other and omg kuroo has never seen that big of a smile on your face EVER)

kenma had to poke his sides to bring him back to earth cus dude was just that shocked

“KENMA WHAT WAS THAT FOR??-?-?-?1?1”

“you’ve been staring at y/n for a socially unacceptable amount of time, you look like a creep.”

“OH! HEY KUROO YOU’RE ON LUNCH BREAK”

oh my god. kuroo would think at first. who WERE you???

he realised that maybe all this time, the reserved and quiet you may have just been the first layer of your personality, maybe you just needed the time to adapt to the changes?

and so will kuroo lmao

“KUROO KUROO HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW MOVIE” “WE SHOULD WATCH IT” “ITS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE AND”

“y/N??? DO YOU NORMALLY SPEAK FHIS MUCH???” he was so used to seeing your calm and relaxed composure

and now that you looked like the epitome of chaos, he felt so cheated that he wasn’t able to get you to be like this in the first few weeks of the relationship

“YEAH!!! but MAYBE im on a SUGAR RUSH right now IM NOT ENTIRELT SURE BUT”

kuroo is just watching you speak, this dumb smile on his face as the truest form of you flourishes in front of him

he’ll start acting like a parent at some point because YOU ARE CRAZY MAAM

“y/n stop yappin’ and EAT” “WAIT WAIT LOOK AT THIS TEASER FOR THAT NE-”

he’d deadass shove a whole onigiri in your mouth just to tease you for a bit

he also likes that he can make jokes and make you laugh louder than before

hes just so happy to see this side of you 🥺

—kozume kenma.

kenma is going to be SO SHOCKED

ngl he’d probably look at u with his brows like >:0 “where did u take my girlfriend!!! where is my girlfriend!!!”

and you’d be in this happy mood so you are PEAK chatty right now so you’re laughing at kenma’s face cus 💀

were your two personalities really just that different 💀💀

kenma will have to get used to your sudden outbursts of excitement conversations every now and then

boy has NO idea what triggered you into switching personalities

but i guess kuroo helps him connect the dots and hes like oh and then hes like oh :D because its a good thing that you willingly act like this in front of him

esp without feeling embarassed or anything hes happy you’re comfortable

its also really cute when you suddenly feel like youre rambling too much

your arm would cling around kenma’s and he’d listen to you ramble about this new netflix show that was released a few weeks ago but it was totally cliche so you told him how the entire internet made fun of it

then when you turn your head to look at kenma, hes just looking forward and you’re like “sorry, rambling arent i?”

“its not a bother,” he’ll say, sliding his fingers to wrap around yours. “if you want we could watch it together for the fun of it”

and thats literally what yall did and oml is kenma glad to see the chaos unfold in front of him

(you were not wrong when you said it was cliche, kenma almost puked at how cliche it was lmfao)

he’ll defs poke fun at the way youre loud just around him and your closest friends but when youre with other people youre just crickets

sometimes when hes playing, you’ll watch his screen and suddenly start braiding his hair

and boy does he have some silky locks despite all the bleaching

then theres another situation where hes playing and you’ll be right beside him, commenting and yelling when they’re in a danger zone

“KENMA IF YOU STAY THERE YOURE-” “I KNOW I KNOW IM TRYING TO GET OUT” “QUICK!! YOUVE ONLY GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT”

“pft kenma you got your girl over or sth? we can hear her” an online friend is gonna say and kenma’s JUST BLUSHING AND STUTTERING, TRYING TO EXPLAIN

you can hear kuroo’s hyena laughter through kenma’s headphones 💀

and since you got to see kenma stumble all over his words and act like a nervous trainwreck, it was overall a very enjoyable experience for you

“sooo when are you gonna play again?”

HES GOING TO PINCH YOUR CHEEKS AS A PUNISHMENT

but you like it cus kenma does this cute nose scrunch whenever he pinches your cheeks

and ever since you’ve shown kenma this side of you, the teases between you and him have been endless

you both make sure never to go too far with the jokes tho! so alls good :)

—bokuto koutarou.

bo would prolly be so confused at first like yall know that one ep where hes up against karasuno for that summer training camp and hes just (°_°) YEAH

he’d be like that for the first five seconds before shit clicks

“Y/N!!! Y/N!!!!” “KOU!!! KOUTAROU!!!!” and cue the big couple hug

and every other third year is like 💆🏻‍♀️ here they go AGAIN

and akaashi is literally holding bokuto’s hotdog he literally threw in the air

“A- AKAASHI DO YOU SEE THIS” “yes, bokuto-san, please lower your voice”

bokuto is just 🤩 @ you and he can’t seem to take his eyes off your lips, he loves the way they move

sometimes when yall are in the same class, everyone purposely puts you two on each end of the class

just so that your vibes dont mix and end up causing an explosion

but distance makes the heart grow fonder 🥴

SO THERES LITERALLY NO DIFFERENCE

but even if you two become a lil too loud for everyones liking, they still enjoy the atmosphere you two bring

also loves to invite you and akaashi to walk home together because 🥺 the energy is just so nice

hes also glad that his girl and his best friend can speak comfortably

also rip akaashi’s ears whenever you two start laughing or yelling about some stupid puns you read out loud on the way home

now, during practises after school

the entire fukurodani vbc has to constantly remind you guys to tone down your noise levels

no, not those noise levels

but the way both of you can speak so passionately when talking about things you both have mutual interest in

there’ll be lots of jumping around and always expect the unconscious hand-holding, bo just really likes to hold hands with you

“Y/N YOU LIKE THIS MOVIE??1?2?1?-?1?” “YEAH IVE LOVED IT SINCE LIKE,,, FOREVER!!”

and obvi bokuto’s gonna bring up and ask you why and how you suddenly have so much more energy than before

and you’re just like “i’m only like that for a while 🥺” and you tell him you only start showing the way you actually act when you’re fully comfy w the person

his face softens, relieved that he can make you feel safe in his presence

hes happy that you’ve come to feel that way

so he becomes clingy for the rest of the afternoon you’re not complaining

#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #bokuto koutaru #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #bokuto x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu headcannons #hq headcanons #hq hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #bokuto koutarou x reader

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barnesbabee · 4 years

Text

The Boss Doesn’t Like It || C.J

Summary: Don’t fuck around where you shouldn’t be.

Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

Words: Bruh ngl it’s long as fuuuuck :/

Genre: Smut, Angst

⚠ Mafia!au, metion of drugs, mentions of blood, usage of guns, degrading, spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk, thigh kink ⚠

A/N: This is for the lovers of the Mafia!au then. Enojy 💖

ᴄʀ: ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱʙᴀʙᴇᴇ

His hand flew across your cheek, and an incredible, stinging pain spread through your face.

“I’m gonna ask this one more fucking time, and you better answer properly, or else…” The dark-haired male pulled a gun from his thigh gun holster.

He pressed the cold barrel to your temple harshly, forcing you to slightly cock your head. You were trying your best to remain calm and not seem pathetic, but you couldn’t help and freak out a little over the gun pointed at your head. Breathing was suddenly hard and small beads of sweat rolled down your forehead.

“I’ve fucking told you three times. I don’t work for anyone. You got the wrong idea, it’s not my fault.”

It was entirely your fault. You should have told your drug dealer to fuck off, that he was going to deliver them to you in a reasonable place and that you sure as Hell wouldn’t step into that part of the town, but of course your thought process didn’t go as far as considering the consequences of your dangerous actions.

The very second you stepped foot into the dark street decorated with used syringes, broken glass and rusty knives, you were knocked out by a harsh blow to the head. You woke up tied to a chair, in a cold, cement room that had nothing but a table with pristine tools on top of it, that, to be honest, scared the living shit out of you.

The tall mal smacked you with the gun barrel, proceeding to shove it back where he had taken it from. You winced at the pain, and soon after felt the warm blood.

He turned his back, visibly infuriated by the response, and walked towards the metal door.

“She doesn’t leave.” He told the man standing outside, just as he walked away from the scenario.

The door was slammed shut with a loud noise. You finally let yourself break down, and never-ending tears streamed down your face as you bit your lower lip to try and suppress your sobs. You felt like puking. You felt claustrophobic because of the tight ropes you couldn’t wriggle out of.

Suddenly, just as you were about to lose hope, your eyes landed on the tool table. The scalpel. You looked towards the door and started conjuring a way out, before they eventually killed you, or made you bleed to death. If you tried to move closer to the table in your current situation, the chair would creak against the floor and the man outside would hear you. He had to be gone… But how on earth would you be able to do that…

An idea popped into your head, and you remembered your previous thoughts.

You felt like puking.

You bent over in the chair so that the ropes would be pressing tighter against the mouth of the stomach, triggering your gag reflex. You immediately started salivating and gagging in the air, loudly.

The man outside heard this and burst inside immediately. He saw you hunching over, salivating onto the floor. The male gripped your hair and forced your body back to his original position. He removed his hand and approached his face to yours.

“Boss doesn’t like his shit messy, so if you puke you’ll clean it right back up”

You took the proximity of your faces as the perfect opportunity. You swung your head back and smashed it against his nose as hard as your body allowed you to. The man stumbled back and, by pure luck (for you), hit his head on the pipe behind him, and fell to the ground unconscious.

You wasted no time in grabbing the scalpel once you had gotten close enough to the table, and started by undoing the ropes around your wrists, then around your torso, and finally around your feet. Before you fleed the room, you rummaged through the man’s body until you found a gun. Did you know how to use it? No, but you felt safer with it in your hands knowing that probably everyone you’d run into had one of these with them.

You blindly made your way through the halls, just praying to God that wherever you were going lead to a way out. Surprisingly enough, you were able to escape the building. The gun immediately slipped from your hands the second you stepped into the outside world and you ran away like some monster was out to get you. You didn’t stick around to hear the boss’ angry yell when he found that some mere girl was able to knock out the man whose specific instructions were to not let you out, and then escape.

He was beyond furious, because you had beat him. And no one beats Jongho. He swore on his life he’d find you and bring you back, and then he’d decide your fate.

Enveloped with fear and paranoia, you barely left the house the following month, only when it was absolutely necessary. But as time passed, and as the weeks went by, you felt safer, the crazy thoughts washed away and you felt like you could start living your life again. Slowly your life began coming back, and as a celebration, one night, you hesitantly left your apartment and made your way to the club as a way of cheering for your returned freedom.

As the night went on, you started becoming more free and careless, living the party. Every shot you took was like piecing back together your confidence, and you eventually let go of your worries as the music played through your body.

The third song since you had been on the dance floor started playing, and you felt a pair of hands encircle your waist and pull you closer. Your back hit their chest and for a second you were worried and a little anxious, but when you glanced over your shoulder to see the person’s face, you were pleasantly surprised. You smiled at the good-looking, red-haired stranger and he replied with a smirk.

“Hey pretty.” He whispered in your ear.

Instead of replying, you began moving your body once more, swaying your hips to the music, making sure your ass was grinding against his crotch. His grunts and small squeezed were an incentive to keep going, and you gladly did.

He lowered his head, so his lips would be leveled with your right ear.

“What do you say we take this somewhere else, beautiful?”

You turned around and encircled his neck with your arms. You placed a long, teasing kiss on his plump lips and pulled away right after, wanting to give him just a taste of what awaited him.

“Let’s go?” You asked, stepping away from the male’s body.

He answered your question by placing his hand on your ass and squeezing it, while he lead the two of you out of the crowded club.

Your legs were a little wobbly as you tried to keep up with the pace of his long legs. Your eyes wandered around the place you were heading towards. It was… odd. It was very dark and it seemed empty, compared to the rest of the city. A chill ran down your spine and you decided to walk a little bit behind the stranger, as you started feeling the fear creeping up again. You wanted to ignore it, because it was most probably still remains of your previous fright, but you couldn’t shake it. When the male grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an alleyway, you stopped being scared and became terrified.

Everything was dark, but you could make out three figures standing in front of you.

“W-what’s going on?” You asked and gulped.

Your mind immediately went to the worst-case scenarios: kidnapping, sex traffic, you name it. Your legs were visibly shaking, until a car’s headlights turned on. Your body froze and you covered the light with your hand for a second, as it was too blinding. When you moved your hand and looked at the men standing in front of you, you became unable to think. There stood the male you had been avoiding for months, the man you swore you were safe from.

Your heart beat a million times per second, it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest at any second and breathing became hard.

“Good job Mingi.” He said, in a stern voice to the man beside you.

You watched as the stranger that you had been following up until now nodded his head and joined the other men in front of the car.

The male you tried to avoid started stepping towards you, and, just as he opened his mouth to say something, you felt dizzy, and you suddenly felt light. It was all too overwhelming, too terrifying, and you couldn’t take it. You didn’t remember anything else, but the cold feeling of the floor as your body collapsed.

You woke up, cold and uncomfortable. You tried to move, but you were obviously restrained by something. Your head was pounding, and for a second all you remembered were the insane amount of shots you took. When the rest of the memories hit you, however, your eyes shot open and you sat up, wherever you were. You moved a little too quickly and so your vision became blurry for a second, but that didn’t stop you from frantically looking around the room, trying to make out where you were.

Oh great...

One of your hands was handcuffed to the pipe in the room you had once been tied in a chair, except this time the tool table was nowhere to be seen. You cursed yourself for being so naive the previous night and following that stranger into this mess…

Whoever you were dealing with was smart, that much you could deduct. They must have been following you for weeks, tracing you and camping outside your home for the longest time, and you hadn’t even noticed. You shivered at how terrifying that was.

Long streams of tears escaped your eyes, and you honestly couldn’t tell if they were from the stress, fear, desperation, or sadness. You reached your free hand up to your cheeks and wiped the tears. You looked at your fingers after your face was dry and saw all of the black mascara smeared on them.

“I’m gonna die ugly I can’t believe this…”

And so you began to cry once more at the thought of death.

The big door burst open and slammed against the wall. A red-haired male you recognized from the previous night approached you holding a key and knelt down next to you, beginning to undo your handcuff. The memories of what he had done to you hit you like a truck, and the shame and fury bubbling inside of you couldn’t be contained. You gathered all of the courage you had in you (which was not much at this point) and spat in his face. Straight between his pretty, cat-like eyes.

“Asshole.”

He looked at you with a threatening expression and you cowered a little in your spot. The male cleaned the saliva on his face with the sleeve of his sweater.

“I was doing my job.”

You rolled your eyes and let yourself be pulled up by the man after he had uncuffed you. You didn’t try to run, you weren’t completely dumb and you were totally aware that not only was he much stronger, he was probably much faster too.

He pulled you along for a couple of meters and up a flight of stairs until you reached a pair of big, dark wood doors. The man opened the door, threw you in, and slammed it close, leaving you in there to your own fate.

“You know….”

You stopped facing the door and turned around to look at the familiar voice’s owner. He was wearing a white button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, tucked inside a pair of black jeans. The male seemed to miss the point of a button-up shirt, as it was very much ‘buttoned-down’.

You watched each of his moves carefully and warily, as you were a little concerned about what awaited you.

“I’m very curious about how you managed to escape. Yeosang won’t tell me, admittedly because he must be very embarrassed a girl we came to find out is just a university student managed to knock him out and escape,” He paused, sipped on his whiskey and walked towards you, until you were chest to chest “ and I’m very, very, interested in your little endeavor.”

You pushed him away with your index finger, very disturbed by the proximity. He looked at your finger curiously, and honestly amused about the way you behaved before someone who owned several guns and had threatened you before with one.

“I used my head, okay? Just kill me or torture me or do whatever you’re going to do, get it over with.” You didn’t want to go any farther.

Jongho shrugged and leaned against his desk, crossing his arms in front of his chest in the process.

“You know princess, the problem is, I don’t know what it is that I’m going to do to you…”

You looked at him confusedly, what kind of gang member was he? Did they just spin the wheel to decide what to do?

“What is that supposed to mean?...” You question, crossing your arms as well.

“What’s your name, princess?”

The pet name left his lips in such a natural way that you couldn’t help but like the sound of it.

“You can just keep calling me princess.”

Jongho chuckled and smirked, absolutely in love with your fierceness. Perhaps it was bravery, perhaps it was stupidity, but whatever it was, Jongho had never seen it in a woman and he was stunned, to say the least.

“I like you, princess. I like the way you behave. You came into this side of town, got captured by Mafia members, got threatened by their boss and didn’t give a fuck, proceeded to knock down one of them, left the building, then you were caught again and now you’re here,” He approached you once more, this time taking your chin in his hand and tilting your head up to look him in the eye properly “talking down to the Boss.”

You shivered in place, but maintained your confident posture. Jongho chuckled, his gaze never leaving yours.

His eyes traveled along your body, followed by his hands that explored your curves shamelessly.

“I might just need to give you a punishment for being such a brat…”

“You’re a lucky one.”

You looked at the tall man that lead you to a random room you hadn’t been told what it was.

“How am I lucky?”

He glanced at you as if you were stupid and chuckled.

“Jongho took a liking to you, he’s invited you for dinner, pretty. You’re lucky you didn’t get on his bad side after what you did… My best guess was that you were going to die, in the best-case scenario.”

You swallowed dryly, a little thankful for having a future to look upon.

“Here it is, fix yourself, you look like shit.”

You scoffed at the tall male and entered the room. It was an enormous bathroom, marble-decorated bathroom. You looked yourself in the mirror, fuck, you did look like pure shit. Disheveled hair, runny makeup, and torn up dress. You questioned Jongho’s taste in women for a second…

Your thoughts came to a halt when you saw white fabric sitting on the counter right beside you. It had a small, handwritten note. You picked it up to read it.

‘Wear this tonight, if it doesn’t fit you can wear nothing ;)’

How long ago had he planned this!?

Nonetheless, you stripped from yourself and cleaned your face the best you could so you could slip on the white dress without staining it. You had to admit, Jongho knew how to dress women well. The dress was absolutely stunning: it was a white, off-shoulder dress with a v-neck and a pencil skirt.

You fixed your hair quickly and made a braid out of it with the hair tie that was always on your wrist. Admittedly the dress was a little tight, but it was better than the other option.

You opened the bathroom door once you were done and found the same tall, blue-haired man waiting for you.

“Ready?”

You nodded, and he silently lead you through the halls to what you supposed was the dining area.

“Behave, Jongho isn’t as friendly as he looks.” The tall man advised before opening the door.

He pushed it open for you to enter. Before getting in you looked over your shoulder.

“Jongho seems to enjoy it when I misbehave.”

You winked and finally stepped into the dining room. Jongho was already there, now in black dress pants instead of his previous jeans, looking outside of the building.

When he heard the door close, he turned around.

“Princess, you look beautiful. Although I have to say I’m a little disappointed you didn’t choose option number two.”

You smiled at the cheesy joke and joined him looking at the pretty sunset.

The male noticed how the dress hugged your body, and suddenly the most beautiful sight wasn’t the sunset.

Jongho’s eyes were glued to how well he could see every single of your curves through the dress. Your big bust, your wide hips, your thick thighs… The man grabbed your hips and pushed you against the wall, trapping you between it and his body. You were a little taken aback at the sudden movements.

“You know, I don’t think I can wait until after dinner, I might have to punish you now.”

“Wait but-”

“Y/N,” He paused, and his tumb caressed your lower lip “you misbehaved, you’re lucky you’re not dead.”

He did know your name. Of course he did…

“Although depending on what your sexual preferences are, you might wish I had just killed you after what I’m going to do to you.”

You had never felt like this. You had never felt the urge to become this submissive to anybody… Excitement took over you and every trace of discomfort evaporated as you gave into his touch.

Jongho noticed the shift in your behavior and smirked. He swung you over his shoulder, as if your body was made out of feathers, and made way for his bedroom. You were surprised at how easily he lifted you, and you couldn’t help but imagine how effortlessly he could maneuver you.

Once he’d reached the bedroom, he closed the door with his foot and threw you on his king-sized bed. You watched him undress from his shirt at the speed of light before hovering over you, each leg beside your waist. One of his hands held him up while the other caressed your thigh.

“I can’t fucking wait to take you off of this dress.” He whispered.

Your hands caressed his arms, feeling and squeezing his biceps that you now loved.

“Why don’t you then?”

His eyes turned a darker shade and his hands immediately gripped the hem of your dress and peeled it off of your body. The tight fabric gave you no space for a bra, so as soon as you fell back on the bed, your boobs bounced on your chest, and Jongho’s cock hardened.

He gripped both of your tits in his hands.

“No bra? Such a fucking slut… Practically begging to be fucked.”

He lowered himself so his lips could meet yours in a harsh, sloppy kiss. Your spit mixed with his as your tongues fought for dominance in a fight you were sure to lose. Jongho pinched your nipples, causing you to whimper and buck your hips. As you did so, your crotch rubbed against Jongho’s, making him groan into the kiss.

He pulled away from the kiss and attached his lips to your neck, pampering it with kisses until he found soft spots. He bit down of them and sucked harshly, then making sure to lick around the place that would be marked soon enough. As he worked on your neck, his hand teased your clothed pussy.

“I’m gonna fuck you so well princess, I’m gonna make you scream my name.” He said against your neck.

You chuckled and sucked in a breath.

“Are you sure you can do that?”

Jongho’s grip on you grew tighter and he locked eyes with you for a second. The look in his eyes told you you’d struck a nerve, and you felt satisfied with yourself. Jongho’s fingers pulled your panties down and threw them on the floor of his bedroom.

The man undid his belt and pulled down his zipper so he could strip from his pants. Then, in one swift movement, he wrapped his arm around your waist, sat on the edge of the bed, and placed you on his bare thigh. The feeling of your naked core against his skin alone made you hiss.

Jongho grabbed your ass and spanked it harshly.

“Ride it.”

You looked at him as if the instructions were unclear, and he slapped your ass once more.

“I’m gonna make you ride my thigh until you beg for my cock you fucking whore.”

He gripped your hair and brought your face closer to his. You whimpered in pleasure when you felt his fingers tug on your hair.

“You like this? Hm? Let’s see if you can take it, start moving baby girl.”

Your hips started rocking slowly against his hips, but his big hands on your ass forced you to move faster. Jongho teasingly flexed his thigh against your core, and he could feel the wetness spread on his thigh.

You started moving faster looking for a release, but you knew it wasn’t enough, you needed more of him, you wanted more of him.

Jongho saw the desperation in your face as you gripped his shoulders and sunk yourself harsher and faster on his thigh. His hands gripped your ass tighter, as he wanted to push you to your limit, he wanted to hear you beg for him, and eventually, you gave in.

“Jongho… Jongho please I need you.”

He hummed, not quite please by your words.

“You need me doing what? What do you need me for?”

You held back a moan as his thumb found its way to your clit.

“I-I need you fucking me. I need your cock in me Jongho.”

Finally happy with your begs, Jongho picked you up effortlessly and pushed you down on his bed. He slid down his boxers, letting his cock hit your bare pussy. You whimpered at how big he was.

Jongho ran his tip along your folds, teasing your clit with it for a second.

“You want my cock? Hm? Do you want my cock in you my little whore? Beg for it.” He demanded.

You gripped the sheets in anticipation and looked up at him.

“Please Jongho, please fuck me, I want you in me.”

With no further notice, Jongho pushed into you. He thrust his hips into your body almost in an animalistic way. The headboard hit the wall violently but you couldn’t hear it, you were too focused on Jongho’s grunts as he fucked into you.

Jongho squeezed your sides, loving the way his fingers dipped in your skin.

Your hands landed on Jongho’s biceps once more, squeezing them. You loved the way he looked so fucking big on top of you.

He slapped your inner thigh and you whimpered at the pleasurable pain.

Jongho hit such a deep spot inside of you, even if you wanted to you couldn’t hold back your squeals and moans. Jongho gripped your waist and flipped you, so he’d be sitting on the bed with you riding him. He just loved to hear the way your ass slapped against his things.

Your fingernails dug into his shoulder blades as you felt your orgasm building up.

“J-Jongo fuck… You feel so good…”

He smacked your ass once more and picked up the pace once he felt your walls tighten around his cock.

“Cum for me princess, I wanna hear you.”

You lasted about six more seconds before your body gave in. You slammed down on his cock one last time before an overwhelming orgasm washed over you. You hid your face on the crook of his neck as your whole body shook and you cried for his name.

Seeing your bratty, snappy figure crumble like that made something twist inside Jongho, and the final tight feeling of your hole clenching around him threw him over the edge. He shot his warm, thick load inside of you, filling you up to the brim.

Neither of you moved, you just sat like sat catching your breaths for a couple of minutes. You only lifted your head when you heard him chuckle. You gave him a puzzled look, and the male ran his hand up and down your back as he planted a kiss on one of the hickeys he’d given you.

“I think I want to keep you for myself.”

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rae-writes · 4 years

Text

You and me, Me and you

Kite x reader

warnings : mentions of nsfw, mentions of death, slight angst

word count : 2.k

Authors note : I have a problem with commas, despite being a straight A student in my English classes, I still forget where I should and should not put a comma so please don’t mind if they’re in the wrong spot.

You met Kite when you were quite young. You were thrown out on the streets at an early age and had just been caught stealing. They would’ve beaten you if Kite hadn’t saved you, swooping down from the rooftops and distracting them.

“GO!” the boy in blue yelled. He looked a few years older with long, snowy white hair that went down to his waist and a cap that helped cover his eyes. That’s all you saw about him though, as you quickly turned and followed his order. The mysterious boy followed, eventually passing you as you both ran from the townsfolk.

You stopped a ways away, breathing heavily. “T-Thank you. My name is Y/n.”

The boy glanced down, seeming hesitant to tell you who he was. After a bit of catching your breaths, however, he spoke up, “Kite. My name is Kite.” He continued to observe you before giving you an offer, “Would you...like to come stay with me? You don’t seem very good at being able to live on the streets.”

Your eyes sparkled, “Really? You’d let me? I was thrown out not too long ago...so I don’t know much.”

Kite nodded, motioning for you to follow him. You walked for a while before coming up to an opening. Upon entering, you noticed it was a sewer, which didn’t seem to be that bad. After a few more turns, you came to a dead end where two or three animals were laying around a small spot on the floor with some dirty blankets piled up.

A grin broke out onto your face, “This is so cool!” In return, Kite himself gave you a small smile.

“This is where I stay and now that you’ll be staying too, no one can know about this place alright? From now on it’s just you and me.”

You looked up at your savior and smiled a big, bright smile, “Me and you!”

----

After a few years of living together, someone was waiting for you and Kite when you got back from getting food that day. The man introduced himself as Ging Freecss, a pro hunter. Kite had started pestering the man to teach him to be one, and after a while you did too. Ging eventually agreed, although you weren’t his “Official” students or anything. Soon, it was time for you to take the hunter exam.

“I’m so nervous, Kite!”

Said boy rolled his eyes at you, “It’ll be fine Y/n. We were trained by one of the best hunters in the world. We got this.” Kite stopped walking when he noticed you weren’t following, stepping back to stand next to you again.

“I know, it’s just...what if you pass and I don’t? I don’t...I don’t wanna be left behind.” Your voice wavered as you looked down to hide the tears that were forming. “I feel like I just found you and I don’t wanna lose you.”

A hand came down on your shoulder, “You won’t lose me.” Before you knew it you were pulled into a warm, brief hug. Looking up, you saw Kite give you a confident smile, “It’s you and me, remember?”

You nodded, smiling back at your best friend, “Me and you.”

----

You both, not surprisingly, passed the exam with flying colors. You were very excited to relax and celebrate a little, but your mentor had different ideas. Your and Kite’s next “official” hunter task was to find Ging. He gave the two of you his hunter’s license and set off to go “hide”.

“Find one of the world’s best hunters? Is he insane?!” You were, to put it simply, not happy. You and Kite had just passed the hunter exam, which took a month or two, and now you were being forced to play hide and seek? Seriously?

“We’ll find him, Y/n.” Kite was rummaging through your guys’ stuff, getting ready for the hard journey ahead of you.

“We will? In case you haven’t realized, he’s literally-”

“One of the best hunters in the world. Yes, I know. Which is exactly why we’re gonna find him.” He stood, walking over to grab your hand, “You and me.”

You sighed, but smiled nonetheless, “Me and you.”

----

After a few months of hard work and sleepless nights, you and Kite had located Ging. The trip wasn’t in vain as you’d thought it’d be, as you had met a lot of friends along the way. There wasn’t anything you really needed to do after hunting down your former mentor, so the two of you finally had time to relax and celebrate how far you’d gotten.

“Well Kite, you were right. We did it.” You were impressed with yourself, even more so with Kite. You never thought as a kid this is where you’d be, but you weren’t complaining.

“Y/n.”

You blinked, looking over at Kite in confusion at his sudden serious tone. “Kite?”

He stood to his full height, walking over to you and holding his hand out. As soon as you grabbed it, Kite pulled you in close, to the point where you could feel his breath fanning on your face. “Y/n...I never thought I’d have someone to care about until you came along. These past years have been amazing to say the least so...I uh...would you be my girlfriend?”

You stared at him in shock, noting his pink tinted cheeks and downcast eyes. He was just about to pull away from you when you grabbed the sides of his face, “Kite…” His eyes shot up to yours and you smiled, tearing up slightly. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Kite’s eyes widened, before he brought you into a kiss. It was kinda messy and definitely inexperienced, but you loved it. This is what you’ve wanted for years, although much to your dismay, he pulled away and leaned in to rest his forehead on yours.

“You and me.” He nuzzled your noses together, going in to brush his lips against yours.

You brought him in for another kiss, “Me and you.”

----

The night Kite made love to you was beautiful. The area was surrounded by trees with a crystal clear pond in the middle, sparkling due to the starry sky. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Carding your hands through his long hair, you smiled, “I’ve never wanted anything more than this.” The pure love that shone through the smile Kite gave you was heart melting. He gently pushed you backwards, laying you down on the soft forest floor.

Kite leaned in, brushing his lips against yours, looking in your eyes with an abundance of emotion. His touch was soft, gentle as the two of you undressed each other in the light of the moon. It gave the impression that Kite was glowing, his beautiful white hair and pale skin sparkling in an ethereal way.

“You and me.” Kite’s gaze was intense, something you wanted to get closer to and shy away from at the same time. The way he was making sure you really wanted this almost brought tears to your eyes.

You’ve never loved anyone more than you loved the man on top of you. “Me and you.”

----

You and Kite had really always been together, you couldn’t even remember the days before you met him anymore. So while this didn’t come as a surprise to anyone that knew the two of you, it still made you shocked and overjoyed.

“Y/n,”

You’re heart rate accelerated at nearly an alarming speed.

“We have been together for as long as I can remember and it’s always been the two of us. Maybe that’s why this won’t mean anything to a lot of people but it means something to me. So would you, Y/n L/n,” Kite looked up from his position on the ground, pulling out a glittering silver band, “Marry me?”

You couldn’t fight the smile that overtook your face, immediately dropping down to be eye level with your Fiance. “Yes!” You weren’t able to say anything else as Kite basically launched himself into your embrace, the two of you falling to the ground while laughing happily.

Kite pulled himself off of you, “I know it’s not much but…” he flashed the inside of the ring to you. Engraved on the side was ‘You and me, Me and you.’

Tears sprang, and you choked out a laugh. “Kite, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you laughed, whether in disbelief that you had gotten so lucky or in pure joy you couldn’t decide.

He pulled back, grabbing your left hand and sliding the ring on. “I was gonna wear mine but I figured you would want to put it on me.” Kite pulled out an exact copy of yours, engraving and all, just a little bigger. “You and me.”

Your face was starting to hurt from all the smiling you were doing as you gently took his ring and put it on his left hand. “Me and you.”

----

Tragedies are a given in life, you just weren’t expecting one to happen so soon. The Chimera Ant came out of nowhere, Kite taking the blow as he tried to protect the three of you. Your entire world had stopped and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

The single, torn off arm laying on the grass would haunt you for the rest of your life. Time slowed as you looked back to Kite and the thing standing next to him. Anger and blood lust engulfed you, both your and Gon’s nen spiking in rage.

Killua knocked Gon clean out, which made you falter in your movements.

“A wise decision Killua,”

your eyes snapped to Kite,

“Now take Gon and get outta here!”

Killua turned and ran but you stayed rooted to the floor as Kite summoned crazy slots. You couldn’t leave Kite, you wouldn’t. However when his gaze locked onto yours, you swear you heard him say something.

“You and me.”

You choked on the air you were breathing as tears started running down your face, shaking your head violently. Number 2 was picked and his scythe materialized. His eyes told what more he couldn’t say and you felt your heart shatter.

“Me and you.” You turned and ran, sobbing as you quickly caught up with Killua and grabbed both him and Gon. You didn’t let go of the boys or stop running until you reached the checkpoint entry of the NGL.

After a few hunters arrived, you set off without a word, going back to the spot you had regrettably left Kite. When you arrived, nothing was there. Not even his arm. That gave you a shred of hope but the dread in your stomach wouldn’t disappear, even as you screamed out in pure despair, “KITE!”

----

You, Gon, and Killua were taken to the place they were holding Kite. Shoot and Knuckle had found him a couple days ago, however, the three of you had to wait and were watched to determine if you could handle seeing him. Shoot released Kite from his nen cage and Gon was the first one to walk forward, getting slapped around by what looked like Kite but you knew it really wasn’t.

Gon had left the room, his promise of fixing the man in front of you lingering in the air. It felt like you were paralyzed, stuck having to watch the man you loved stumble around like a puppet.

“Y/n...”

“Leave.”

“But-”

“I said LEAVE!”

Everyone filed out of the room at your request and as soon as the door shut, you broke down into sobs. What did they do to your love? You glanced up at Kite, pondering how you could get close to him without making him attack you.

“Kite…” you forced your nen to grab a hold of him and walked forward. “Kite.”

He started thrashing, growling at you but unable to move as your nen kept him in place. With the way he was now, you were at eye level as you reached your arms up and wrapped them around his neck. Miraculously, he stopped trying to attack as you nuzzled your cheek against his.

“I swear, I will help Gon fix you. We still haven’t gotten married, you know. You’re...you’re still too young to go, we have our whole lives ahead of us.” You pulled away, grabbing his face, “We will fix you. I will fix you.” Leaning up, you kissed his forehead and backed away.

Kite started thrashing around once more as you headed toward the door.

“You and me, Me and you.” you released your nen and shut the door, hearing Kite trying to knock it down. You would fix him. Even if it killed you.

----

It felt like years, but really it had only been around 30 minutes. You and Gon were running towards the place Kite was being held, with Pitou running in between. Again, it felt like years before you reached the large building and made your way down to Kite. What happened next made you wish you never came at all.

“This man...This man is dead. He died in our fight.”

There was a sharp ringing sound in your ears, and your throat closed up on its own. You watched as Kite swayed from side to side before falling to the ground face first. You heard a scream and perhaps it was yours but you paid no mind as everything started to blur. Not long after, Gon dropped to the floor.

“Kite is...dead?”

You nearly dropped as well, stumbling towards your lover and pulling him in your arms. There were no sounds as you sat with Kite draping over your lap, his head resting on your chest. Your body could not even produce the means to sob and cry out, everything was just numb. You didn’t notice when Gon and Pitou left, you stayed rooted to your spot on the floor while subconsciously rocking Kite back and forth with your body.

“Kite...it was supposed to be Me and you, remember?”

----

When Morel busted through your hospital room, saying that Kite was alive you thought you’d finally gone crazy. After his explanation though, you realized that you hadn’t lost Kite after all, even if he was in a girl’s body now. So after Gon recovered, you followed along with him to where Kite was staying.

Gon motioned for you to go visit Kite first, so you let Spinner lead you to the room where he was in.

“Kite? Someone’s here to see you.”

“Send them in.” His voice was higher than it had been, but still kept the rich sounding tone.

You quietly walked in, noting his back was turned toward you. He stood, maybe too soon for your liking, and turned.

Kite now had pinkish red hair, with purple eyes and freckles. He was also...shorter? Your lips curled up, a small laugh coming from you.

“What’s so funny, Y/n?”

You faltered at the mention of your name, finally looking into Kite’s eyes. “I’m taller now.”

That made his lips curl up as well, “That’s what you’re worried about?” The laugh that followed was eerily familiar.

You couldn’t stop the tears that started streaming down your face. Kite was actually here. Alive and in front of you. So why couldn’t you move?

“I know it’s weird. I look different and well...I am in a girl’s body now. But I...I hope that doesn’t make you run away from me.”

You glared, although your heart wasn’t really into it. “Seriously? We’ve been through everything together and you think I’m gonna run away just because your shape is different?” Your body moved on it’s own, wrapping your arms around Kite’s waist and lifting him up. “Idiot.”

His laugh this time made your heart melt as you gently set him back down. The hand that caressed your features were so familiar yet so different at the same time. “You and me.”

You smiled, fishing out Kite’s silver band from your pocket and presenting it to him, jokingly dropping down on one knee. “Me and you.”

#kite x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh imagines #hunter x hunter imagines #hxh #hunter x hunter

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lizacstuff · 4 years

Text

Edser / SCK asks Ep 30 and 31 Fragman

Asks below the cut.

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the second trailer for epi 31

My thoughts on the fragman are complicated. Here’s the thing, this show is my happy place and I want my-- and everyone else who reads what I have to say-- experience to be positive.

So I’m going to say this once and then not dwell. (This means don’t send me a bunch of negative, venting asks, I won’t answer them) I don’t like the direction they’ve taken. I was fine with amnesia, I was great with him falling in love with her from scratch, and I was a-okay with it happening very slowly, even with lots of obstacles and pain. However, involving Selin, and some rando dude who is apparently secretly in love with Eda for years, at such a heightened level... is making it very difficult to enjoy. What they’ve had to do to numerous characters to make the Selin thing make sense is ridiculous. It’s maddening to watch her manipulate and brainwash a man with a traumatic brain injury and NO ONE recognizes it as such. It’s hard to watch such a brilliant man not be able to see through her even a little. It’s hard to enjoy anything with that going on in the background.

So with that being said, watching the last two episodes felt a little like getting kicked in the face with a Selin shaped foot. Frankly, this fragman made me feel like we’re going to get kicked in the face a third time. While the spoilers say something is coming for her, there is really no hint in the fragmans that she’s going to get comeuppance in this episode, or even start to. (Poor Bige, good thing she’s not a Hollywood actress because I’m not sure I would ever be willing to watch her in anything again, my reaction to her as Selin is now that visceral).

HOWEVER, the only reason I watch this show is for Serkan and Eda and to watch Hande and Kerem bring their magic together. That’s it, that’s my happy place. So while the last two episodes were hard to watch-- with the undercurrent of Selin’s crazy behavior not being recognized as such-- both episodes offered up some really great scenes of them together (though it needs to be more, much more) and that’s what I’m going to focus on. So on the BRIGHT side I do think we’re going to get some amazing and even romantic moments between Eda and Serkan in 31.

It seems certain that the scenes on the boat when they’re alone will give us some really nice moments. The fragman makes it look very fraught and emotional, but hopefully the scenes are long and they get a chance to really talk and connect and there are lighter moments. We know from the live, that they shot at Eda’s house, and it looks from the fragman there is a scene with them outside. That should be reminiscent of many scenes of old when he would pick her up or drop her off, and I’m hopeful they will do that justice. Then of course jealous Serkan sniffing around Deniz’s cafe will hopefully lighten things up around this joint.

So... I’m gonna be excited for any and all scenes with Eda and Serkan that don’t also have the human praying mantis along for the ride, and for the rest... I guess I better place an order at the liquor store and stock up on human brain bleach (what do we think? Everclear?) until we can get rid of the barnacle on the ass of this show.

Anonymous said: Do you want eda to end up with the flower ring or do you think she should get a new one? I’ve been thinking about this ever since the last engagement and now that she’s taken it off again, I’m like hmm, should they just start anew? I would of course want her engagement ring to have meaning but I wonder if they might be able to come up with something else.

We are on the EXACT same wavelength. Simpatico, my friend. I thought the same thing when Eda asked him to marry her. Like.... hmmm... maybe this ring has the wrong kind of history to start your life together with? And look CURSED!

So now I really think it might be best to go with a new one. Surely they can come up with something that has meaning and is not just some giant solitaire diamond, but also symbolizes a new and fresh start. Maybe that’s what the necklace is about, retiring that ring, but still keeping it as a keepsake of how they met and fell in love?

Anonymous said: Having Serkan turn Eda’s engagement ring into a necklace that he gives her on the yacht is an interesting way for the show to go. On the one hand it means he is thinking about her and feels bad/starting to fall for her but on the other hand kind of rude too. I do not see her accepting it to be honest. She gave it back because he got engaged to Selin and they are still engaged. Seems like this next episode will be full of interesting surprises like that.

Yeah, I’m not sure what she will do. I could see it going either way to be honest. Either she wants to hold onto it because of all it’s meant to them, or she tells him she doesn’t want that reminder of him.

I do hope you’re right that the episode will have some more surprises... let me amend that... I hope you’re right and the episode will have some more GOOD surprises. I need Serkan to realize that the pull he feels towards Eda, regardless if he’s still hella confused and isn’t ready for anything, is reason enough to rethink his engagement to Selin. Or hell I’ll even take Serkan starting to be suspicious, or starting to see through her act. Throw us a bone, show! This 1 step forward, 2 steps back thing they’ve started is not a recipe for success.

Anonymous said: Am I the only one hoping that Eda says no thanks to that necklace from Serkan? I guess we are supposed to think it is sweet but it came off more like “yeah I am not giving it back to you as an engagement ring but don’t want you to lose the memories.” I need her saying “that ring meant a lot to me because the man I loved gave it to me but you are marrying someone else/do not remember me and that ring means nothing now”. Not here for the show having Eda getting excited over the scraps given to her while Serkan continues with his engagement.

If they actually had her say those words to him I would cheer. If Eda can step around her pride and be that nakedly honest with him, it would be a very good thing indeed.

Switching gears to last episode:

Anonymous said: i totally agree with your thoughts on ceren and eda.. like i hope they don't ruin their friendship (and i dont think they will, i think this will just be a tough period in their friendship) but at the same time, i don't really care either??? ceren and eda have butted heads before over her and ferit's relationship and honestly while her friends are great support for her, they are allowed to show conflict there as well without everyone yelling about "ruining the character"

Yes, this. It’s okay for friends to have conflicts. It also doesn’t mean all “girl power” is gone if they do have conflicts. I’m just sad that it’s happening at a time when Eda needs friends and Fifi already left.

And like you say, I don’t care that much. I’m here for Eda and Serkan... oh and Serkan and Eda, and that’s it (oh and Sirius, he can stay). So I’m not really invested in any other relationship, friendships or dynamics.

Anonymous said: I laughed at how they actually had Selin put the ring on her own finger. and I don’t think it even crossed her mind that he should’ve done it, she was too desperate to get it on! As much as I hated this “engagement”, the writers are clearly showing that he’s not very interested so I’m fine with it 😂 I was also waiting to see if they were going to spend the night together in the cabin, but then Selin came in with her suitcase and they left early? Lol

BWAH, I loved that they left early! Writers have gone out of their way to show us they don’t spend the night together. THANK YOU SHOW. One small thing they’ve done right. And to your point they’ve also gone out of their way to show how uninterested Serkan is in all of it. Unlike Selin, we’ve all seen how Serkan Bolat behaves when he’s in love and getting engaged and getting ready to be married. The difference could not be more stark. Too bad that the only two characters who don’t know how he behaves when he’s in love are Serkan and the ass barnacle.

Anonymous said: Ngl I want gag a little with Serkan giving Selin more breadcrumbs (key word lol) than before. But 1 of many things I enjoy is that Serkan has yet to try to buy Eda's shares. He expressed interest in doing so when Selin then Efe had those shares. He did suggest her moving into her grandma's old office but gave up quickly. So Serkan's cool with a stranger, who's possibly inexperienced and supposedly manipulative, being a partner in his company and taking up residence in his office? Hmmm

I loved that we got such a quick change from Robot Bolat’s you-won’t-own-these-shares-for-long attitude to you-can’t-go-on-vacation-you’re-needed-here attitude! One of the best subtle moments from the last episode. I want more of them interacting professionally and him seeing her in action. I also want her to tell him how much she learned from him. I think that might be something he’d be interested to know.

Speaking of, you know what I want? With his hand tremor, I hope we get a scene where he’s trying to draw something and it’s not coming out like he wants and he’s getting frustrated and she goes over there and puts her hand over his (like he’s done for her so many times) and helps him get the drawing done.

Anonymous said: Eda was really ready to move on and forget serkan just in 2 days? He came back and lost his memory it wasn't his fault anyway but I understand that the situation with selin must be difficult for her. I just want Eda to keep fighting for him despite what he may say or do (his decisions and actions are influenced by selin so...) I don't want her to lose hope just when he is just starting to open up to her. In my opinion eda should give serkan some time.

Well... I think putting on that frilly yellow dress and forcing him into a corner with her “engagement” has nothing to do with moving on or forgetting him. That was all for him. That’s her way of fighting for him. She knows what it takes to get him to act. He needs to be in a corner and about to lose her. .

But also I take your point. I hope that Eda’s natural pride and very understandable hurt doesn’t get in the way as Serkan starts to open up to her and gravitate to her and make moves in her direction.

As for her talk of moving on last episode, it was premature, but Eda has said similar things many times before, her pride talking, but she never means it. She always fights for him.

Anonymous said: There's a moment in the episode Serkan tells Engin that he love seline and that really pissed me off, because we've never heard Serkan say that before. He only lost one year of his memory and we already knew that he never loved selin so I wonder why he would say that now?

I’ve actually already answer an ask about this, but since then, I saw on twitter that some Turkish speakers confirmed that Serkan used the past tense. “I remember the woman I used to love, and that woman is Selin.”

But also, what I said right after the episode still holds. Serkan Bolat didn’t even know what love was until he met Eda Yildiz. He didn’t really believe in it, no matter what justifications he’s using now. When Serkan and Selin were together, Serkan probably though that boring milquetoast arrangement was what people meant when they talked about love. It wasn’t until he met Eda that he realized he’d never been in love.

I predict he’s going to have the same realization one more time in the not so distant future.

Anonymous said: I am so glad you aren’t liking Deniz either! I thought I was the only one. I can’t really pin point what it is about him but there is something off. He is definitely an opportunist and is pushing Eda too hard to forget Serkan. Which totally pisses me off. Move over dude, Serkan is and always will be the love of her life. Their friends truly suck. Melo is the only smart one and good friend who is telling Eda to fight for their love. I’ll give Ferit some credit too as he is throwing some digs in at Selin as well. Everyone else is cancelled in my eyes. Do you think that maybe Selin knows Deniz and could be working with him against Serkan? I am not entirely sure but I feel like there is something more there based on the looks they shared when they met as if they knew each other before.

Oh interesting! I don’t know how that could have been arranged from the start, so I don’t think they know each other from before, but at this point I’m not putting anything past either to start working together to keep Edser apart.

And yes, Melo is really the only non-Edser character I don’t want to slap upside the head. Ferit is better that most, but could still try harder. Oh Seyfi. He hasn’t given me reason to want to slap him upside the head either.

As for Deniz, I’m already done with him.

Anonymous said: Near the beginning of the series, I do remember seeing some people shipping Ferit and Melo when she started working for Selin. 😂They haven't really interacted much since but I'm also down

Let’s do this thing. What is their ship name? Felo? Merit? Cuties?

#sen çal kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #sck spoilers #sck 1x30 #sck 1x31 #asklizac #anonymous

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years

Text

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it.

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag.

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”.

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed.

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring.

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch. I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

---

Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs.

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein.

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and Haito seems to be aware of it.

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH.

---

I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life.

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved).

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin.

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going.

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that.

---

This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff.

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME.

---

I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them.

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this.

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes.

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol.

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc.

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good.

tiny fang appreciation post.

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here.

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho.

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER.

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later.

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this.

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT.

THE FAMOUS SLAP

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;;

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through.

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?

---

In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff.

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself.

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself.

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know!

#WOW WHAT A FUCKING TRAIN RIDE #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #ALRIGHT TIME TO GO CRY MY HEART OUT #JESUS THIS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL???#PLEAE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT #IK THE BEGINNING MIGHT SEEM A BIT WEIRD WITH SO MUCH INFORMATION THROWN AT YOU BUT DO IT #IT GETS SOOOO GOOD LATER #ITS GETTING SO GOOD RN BUT I NEED TO WAIT FOR UPDATES #OKITA ANON YOU ARE SUCH AN MVP FUCK I LOVE IT #BUT YOURE ALSO KILLING ME #super duper fucking i love you i actually love you mwha #okita anon #lovely anon #anon ask #reincarnation no kaben

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velvett-darling · 5 years

Text

Stay?

Pairing: Mammon x reader (gender neutral)

Fandom: Obey Me

Genre: Fluff? I think?

Word count: 2.4k

Warning (s): Spoilers from chapters 19 ahead!

Note: I haven't been writing for ages and I'm warming up to it. This is literally my first OM fic and ngl I'm pretty nervous to post this. This fic is (heavily) inspired by chapter 19 because it got me sobbing 😔

Emotions.

He wasn't unfamiliar to them. In fact, he had experienced them all - ranging from the fear of Lucifer's punishments, to the happiness he felt everytime he uses his beloved credit card, which he had named as Goldie. How about love? He wasn't unfamiliar with it either, but Mammon couldn't care less to pursue it. He was happy enough with his own company and his credit card.

All is fine in the life of The Avatar of Greed. Well, that was until you came along.

Words couldn't describe how utterly annoyed he was when Lucifer ordered him to babysit a student from the human world that day. A powerless, weak human who was randomly picked for the exchange program at RAD.. How dare the ravenette ordered THE Mammon, who is known as one of the seven rulers of Devildom, the second strongest demon among his siblings and The Avatar of Greed himself, to care for a pathetic human like you.

As if having to babysit a human exchange student wasn't bad enough, he had to deal with your personality. Everything about your personality clashes with his and both of you were always found headbutting againts each other. It's not that the other brothers were complaining though. Watching the priceless expression Mammon had on his face when you talked back to him was quite entertaining. Your snarky and sarcastic remarks towards him were the icing on the cake.

He remembers the way you glared at him on your first encounter in the assembly hall. That dirty look you gave him was enough to get him on his nerves, but then again, he couldn't really blame you for it. You were still stuck in confusion with the whole exchange program when he literally just barged in and yelled at you.

If he was fire, you would be ice. If he was oil, then you're water. Mammon was infamous for being a loudmouth - the moronic demon who didn't think things twice before acting on it. He was nothing but a troublemaker and the source of entertainment for his other brothers.

You, on the other hand, was a quiet and level headed person who wouldn't want anything to do with an overly outgoing demon like him. You had always held a calm and collective composure around the others and would prefer burying yourself with books rather than being an accomplice of Mammon's stupid schemes.

Judging from the fact that the two of you were the complete opposites of each other, there was no way you could get along - let alone fall in love with each other. Or at least that was what Mammon had thought of everyday, especially after making a pact with you.

Why would he like you anyway? You're just a weak human with no powers whatsoever. He's far more superior to be compared to you. As if that wasn't enough to convince himself that you're not someone that he would have a crush on, you're too uptight and boring. Hell, you even reminded him of Lucifer sometimes.

There's no way he would like you. Not even in the slightest.

However, if that was really the case, why does his face gets warm everytime he sees your genuine smile? Why does he feel uneasy whenever any of his brothers gets too close to you? Why was he so caught up with the way your eyes sparkled when you were looking at the stars from the planetarium?

The adorable, stern look on your face when you were trying to focus on something? That was something that he would want to remember for the rest of his life without him even willing to admit it.

Mammon couldn't shake off the memory of how worried he was when you were almost killed by Leviathan after that small TSL pop quiz competition. When he was tending to your injured wrist, he tried to be as gentle as he could. Even though he wasn't good enough with bandages, he tried his best to handle your injury.

There was also another time when you were almost killed by Lucifer for trying to protect Beelzebub and Luke. The second when you passed out, Mammon was more than worried for you. He stood by your side as your unconscious figure was safely tucked into Beel's bed, waiting for you to wake up. His heart was racing too fast out of worry but of course he wouldn't admit that.

He got too worried to the point where he had to step out and head off to somewhere else just to take a breather and calm himself down. Little did he know, the second he stepped out was the time when you finally woke up with an unexpected question to leave your lips; "Where's Mammon?"

Despite how different the two of you were, both of you do work well with each other. You would always be the one who would try to keep or help him out of trouble, while he would pull you out from your shell to join his troublemaking schemes - like that one time when he forced you to eat Beel's custard, only resulting with the kitchen getting destroyed. The crazy thing is? You didn't even refuse to join him that night, despite knowing damn well that you'll get yourself into trouble for eating the custard.

There was another time when you found him hanging from his side as a punishment from Lucifer. He was left alone and crying, causing a strong pang of worry and sympathy to strike in your chest. Your heart almost broke at how miserable he looked at that moment, which then led you to your next crazy thing; releasing him by yourself.

You knew that Lucifer would be really mad at you if you're caught releasing Mammon but you couldn't care less at that point. You hated the way Mammon was left to suffer on his own when everyone else was resting in the comfort of their bed. You would feel guilty if you did nothing to save him from his punishment this time.

Maybe both you and Mammon have grown attached to each other without even actually realizing it. Neither two of you would outrightly admit this, but being around each other gave the sense of joy and comfort. After all, you were the only one who didn't bully him as much as his brothers would, despite having constant arguments. Mammon felt more appreciated when he's around you and he likes that.

"Let's go this way!" You exclaimed as soon as Mammon told you to run away with him from Leviathan. You were walking at the hallways when the demon had stopped you and told you to hang out with him earlier. That was until the third brother interrupted your little moment with Mammon. As usual, he was in trouble with Levi for not paying back the money he borrowed. Typical Mammon, you thought.

Despite the situation both of you were currently in, Mammon couldn't help but to notice the wide grin on your face as you began picking up your pace to run from his third brother. The almost playful tone in your voice as you lead him towards the other direction to escape from Levi doesn't go unnoticed as well. You were definitely different from the way you used to be when you first got here.

Your attempt in escaping Leviathan has brought the two of you to hiding in Mammon's car trunk that was kept in his bedroom. Why was it there? You had no idea, but at least it was a good hiding place. It was a little cramped in there, yes, but now that you think of it, that was one of the last chances for the two of you to be physically really close with each other.

It was your last week at Devildom and the thought of leaving ripped your heart into million pieces. Of course the demon brothers could easily visit you at the human world whenever they wish, but would it feel the same?

The distance between you and Mammon will drastically increase once you leave Devildom. Would the distance affect what you had with him? Will the both of you eventually drift away as a result of not being around each other much anymore when time passes?

"Damn he almost caught us. We're still not safe yet. Levi's a persistent bastard and if we stay here, he'll find us. How about we head outside." Mammon said as soon as the two of you climbed out of his car trunk, shaking you off from the trail of questions in your head. Before you even know it, he was already leading you out from his room to hide from the otaku.

Standing at the balcony of RAD, both you and Mammon were exhausted from all the running. The demon was wheezing and panted before proceeding to speak. "Alright, we should be far enough away that we're safe now.." There was a wash of relief through his senses as he straightened up to regain his composure. You, on the other hand, were already distracted by the beautiful view from the balcony.

The sky of The Devildom was never bright, resembling the night sky of the human world. Stars were sparkling magneficently, illuminating the almost tenebrous view. Colourful lights from the other buildings completed the scenery, making everything look more gorgeous than it already was.

You returned your attention towards Mammon as soon as he started laughing, before joining in as well. Who would've thought that running away together like this was fun? While you were laughing, the silver haired demon slowly stopped his laughter to silently admire the cheery look on your face. You looked so happy, with light blush covering your cheeks - oblivious of the way he was currently looking at you.

Damn he was smitten, and this time, he wasn't even trying to deny himself.

"Hey, Levi was totally watchin' from up on the second floor as we ran outta the house. Man, did you see the look he had on his face?" He said before laughing again. You were already dying of laughter at this moment.

"That was hilarious!" You exclaimed, pausing to wipe off a stray tear from your right eye for laughing too hard. It took some time for the laughter to reduce and once both of you were no longer laughing, Mammon looked at you.

Your eyes came in contact with each other and there was something in his eyes this time, that had caught you slightly off guard. His gaze on you has softened, as well as the smile that he had on his face. You weren't sure if Mammon even noticed himself doing it, considering how much of a 'tsundere' the demon could be most of the times.

"Y'know what? I've gotta say, I really have a lot of fun when I'm with you. When we're together, it's like I'm always smilin', always laughin'." You stood there as you listened, your heart pounding in your chest. You couldn't hold back the smile that was threatening to show up on your now slightly reddened face.

His words pulled out an unusual feeling from the depths of your heart and it wasn't unpleasant at all. It was a feeling that you had never noticed it being there before. It almost felt like your heart was doing acrobatics and you couldn't even stop it.

"Listen, why doncha just stay here from now on? Who needs the human world? Don't go back there." Oh how you wish you could stay here in The Devildom, with Mammon by your side. If only it was possible, you wouldn't even hesitate to stay. The look on your face turned apologetic, your smile slightly transitioned into a sad one.

He saw the way your face changed and wasn't hesitant to continue his words. "I want you right here in The Devildom. I want you here with ME, all the time." You noticed how his voice softened at the end of his sentence. He wanted you and you could barely process the fact that he was actually saying this to you.

THE Mammon who prides himself as The Avatar of Greed, the one who hated you so much when you first got here, is telling you that he wanted you to stay and be with him all the time?

You knew that you were awfully silent than usual at the moment but honestly, was there even anything left for you to say? Your tongue was tied as your mind scrabbles for any reasonable response for him. Was it even possible to come up with anything at this point?

While you were trying to think of a response, Mammon leaned in closer towards your direction. Your eyes slightly widened at his sudden action, especially after seeing the unusually serious look on his face. His face was only a few inches away from yours and you would be lying to say that you weren't struggling to hold yourself together.

Maybe all this time, just like him, the only thing you had ever done was just denying your feelings towards the demon. You lied to yourself - telling yourself that you don't want him, when you actually do. Hell, you wanted Mammon more than anything right now. Your gaze flickered over his soft lips, the temptation to kiss him was growing stronger and stronger as time passes by.

Risking it all, you finally made a move on him and closed the distance between the two of you. Your kiss was short yet sweet, while at the same time you were anxious for the outcome of your action. Would Mammon hate you for kissing him? Will things change for the worse after this kiss? Have you done a big mistake?

The silver haired demon was caught completely off guard with the kiss, his eyes widening while his tan cheeks hinted a shade of red. He looked at you with disbelief, his mind trying to process what just happened. It took him a couple of good seconds to finally give you a response.

"What're you thinking', doin' that outta nowhere.. Though, uh, on second thought, I'm gonna need you to do that again. Once isn't NEARLY enough!"

Your lips stretched into a wider smile as soon as you heard his response, with him gently wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you closer. "Come here.." His soft voice melted your heart, as you brought your arms to hang loosely around his neck. With your forehead resting againts his, your lips were almost touching when Leviathan's voice interrupted the scene.

"Found you!"

#obey me #mammon x reader #omspoilers

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twilightvolt · 5 years

Text

Twilight Thoughts (BEASTARS Episodes 1-4 Part II)

WARNING: SPOILERS IMMINENT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO’RE DECIDING TO WAIT FOR NETFLIX TO RELEASE THE SHOW FROM PRISON. But hey, if you don’t mind, then let’s get this show on the road!

Episode 3: Inner Thoughts and Personal Secrets

Now THIS is the episode where I really felt invested in the characters. Like, there’s so many tidbits of info that I found that made me question a LOT about certain characters.

- Legoshi stopping Haru by putting a blanket over her saying that she’ll catch a cold and get bitten by the insects, while also nervously bolting out of there and slamming the door on his tail was so adorkable and gOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BOI IS SO P U R E . Ngl I kinda was the same way in high school not long ago. Hell, his overall character so far is basically me in high school. And it’s crazy how much I can resonate with him, wolf problems aside.

- I think next they explained what the drama club was all about and how the auditions go. This actually gave me a huge amount of questions to consider. Like, Louis is the “perfect” leader, so of course he has something he’s hiding. But Legoshi just seemed so….normal. and they said they only accept people with unusual backgrounds. So….what’s Legoshi hiding?

- And speaking of Legoshi, I did notice he was much bigger than most of the wolves that went to the school. And the following scenes told me more things about him that went quick, but I saw it with the right fansubs considering others didn’t translate it well.

1. He says he cuts his nails, but the very next day they grow back like nothing happened? I was like “Iiiiiii don’t think wolf claws grow back that quickly.” I mean unless you’re a werewolf, but I don’t think were anything is possible in this universe.

2. It’s the first time someone treated him the way Haru just did earlier. So I guess he doesn’t know about intercourse? Or like, he does, but no one’s ever….come onto him like that? This one I might be reading wrong.

3. He notices just then that he’s happy. It makes me think he’s not used to feeling that emotion which makes me concerned.

They haven’t gone into his past at all these past 3 episodes. So literally everything about him before his second year of high school is a total mystery. Heheh, it makes me so excited to hopefully learn more in the later parts of the season.

- That scene between Louis and Legoshi was also super intriguing. As Legoshi talks to him with his hand gestures (Also something I do. Lol), it looks like he’s studying his movements. Idk why, but I guess maybe he’s watching his hands cuz his claws are uncut? like, he’s sensing the danger levels?

- He pushes him to try and bite him (Yeah, I know.) But as his fangs are coming down, I notice there’s a reflection coming off of them. So I’m not sure if Louis’ expression changes because of his herbivorous instincts kicking in to let go of him or because he sees himself and is reminded that he is in fact an herbivore and shouldn’t be doing this cuz he could get hurt. He’s also jealous that he can keep his carnivorous tendencies so suppressed apparently. So maybe all of this is just him feeling frustrated that he’s not doing what he was born to do?

- This episode’s ED i think is my favorite so far. it focuses on Legoshi’s internal struggles with his instincts. the song i think i like more than Le Zoo, the first ED, but the visuals really nail the thoughts going on in his head. or maybe this is just my inner edgelord coming through. lmao

Episode 4: Real Idiot Hours

Ok, this one was certainly the craziest one so far. I’m still reeling and i feel like this episode was not only super emotional, but also it went so damn fast that i barely could think about what was going on. Lmao

- Now, my initial thoughts about Bill were “Oh, is he gonna be the big lovable idiot? D'aww, look at him quoting Louis. He’s such a dork!”

- Legoshi still being adorable cuz he has to be on stage, but he doesn’t want to so he hides behind the board. ;w;

- He’s been in this club for 4 years? Huh….and this whole time, he was able to get by like this. As an introvert. Guess things can change pretty suddenly.

- Then my opinions on Bill quickly changed when he decides to go all out against Legoshi in their rehearsals. I was like “Hold up dude! Calm the frick down with that stick!” But then realized it was cuz they were both carnivores, so he must think he doesn’t have to hold anything back. Which I guess is understandable.

- But then he’s talking with Louis later and it just feels like his personality is so….flip floppy. Like, one minute he’s all “Hey buddy! Let’s do our best!” and the next he’s seriously hurting my boi! Oh, don’t get me started on that scene. We’ll get to that.

- Legoshi sniffs him and finds out he has a bottle of bunny blood in his pocket. I was like “Oh….O h n o . O_O’” then he says, while it’s not from a student, it was from an upperclassman….but Haru’s an upperclassman, so Legoshi gets super pissed. Understandable, but I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.

- He says he can’t say anything since he drew blood from her too, so I was like “Why not tho? It’s not like you killed her.” But then I realized maybe telling him he drew blood in the first place would be bad, so I guess there’s that.

- Anyone else think the blood thing was a parallel to drugs?

And now we get to the second night of the play. Oh boi….w o w .

- Watching Legoshi just…..snap and start beating the crud out of Bill on stage hurt my heart. It was also a stupid move on his part, but the emotions must’ve driven him more than his rational thoughts. He did look really badass in that getup tho.

- His screaming when he really started getting into the beatdown hurt the most. Like, oh lord. You can really feel just how much he really cares about her deep down.

- Then Bill stops him and uhh…..dIGS HIS CLAWS INTO HIS BACK AND GIVES HIM A HUGE GASH. HE H U R T . MY B O I .

I do think Legoshi was overreacting. I do think he was taking it too far. But nOSEBLEEDS AND BLACK EYES CAN HEAL. SCARS CAN’T. YOU HURT HIM, YOU HURT ME, DAMMIT.

Though….after awhile of thinking about it….I remember that line he says as he’s getting scratched. That the blood that’s coming down is the same as Bill’s. A carnivore. Something that he’s trying so hard not to be. Maybe he was partly beating the hell out of him cuz of what he’s done, but also beating the hell out of himself in a way. If that makes any sense. Like, I can imagine that scene was basically him using his fists to yell at himself like “I’m not like you. I don’t wanna be like you. Shut up!”

- Louis saving him from getting even more scarred like “Oh not today, bish.” was SO badass. Quite a master at improv, I must say. he even just walked on stage without his crutches no problem. he was like “Broken leg? Hahahah, that’s cute.”

- Him giving Legoshi his hand and telling him that he’s right was interesting as well. It’s like he was saying “It’s ok. You can stop now. You did the right thing.” Like, as if he finally understands why Legoshi is who he is. this week’s ED sequence focuses on their relationship too btw.

- Also, I started bein’ like “Ooooh, he gon’ get it now.” Cuz he knew about the blood, so it looks like someone’s getting cut from the acting team in the next episode. :^)

In fact, this episode is probably gonna spawn multiple consequences for everyone involved. Bill of course cuz blood, but Legoshi might get seriously punished for what he did as well. Louis miiight get a stern talking to cuz he wasn’t supposed to be on stage, but that’ll probably be the extent of it. i mean y’all gotta remember they’re high schoolers here. i’m sure the school staff definitely won’t let this slide.

After all this, I’m still wondering why everyone wants to push Legoshi into being more carnivorous. I guess maybe it’s just something he has to learn to control rather than suppress completely? But like, why? It’s his choice to be who he wants, right? Why can’t he live in peace? but then again….this is a prime example of why he should learn. when he can’t control his emotions, he becomes extremely dangerous to not only himself, but the people around him. he could actually kill someone with his kind of strength if he’s not careful. someone smaller than Bill at least. maybe it’s not good to just push it down….

*Sigh* hoo boi, that was a lot. as you can see, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite anime. and it’s only been like, 4 episodes. if this is what it’s like NOW, i can only imagine what’s gonna happen in the rest of the season.

See you guys next week hopefully when i talk about episode 5 once that drops! ^ ^

#rambles #twilight thoughts #anime talk #did i ever talk about the show's ost?#i initially didn't pay much attention but it's actually really good #might have to look it up sometime!

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allforthecourtt · 6 years

Text

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

#rereading aftg

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fatui-harbingers · 5 years

Text

Daenerys Targaryen changed my life for the better

I know, sounds dramatic but it’s not really! She kinda lead me down another (rather short) path of self reflection and self discovery, if you can call it that.

Just in case things get bad in the next episode, I just wanna say that watching one of Dany’s scenes literally changed my life (it's not gonna seem so dramatic once I explain lol) and its really gonna break my heart if they do any more wrong by her (but I don't really think they will) bc she's such an inspiration!

I was watching one of her scenes in season 6 when she was asking the Dothraki if they would be with her now and always and I got all emotional and nearly cried (which was the moment I realized my emotions were making a comeback lol) and then I suddenly realized after YEARS of planning that I actually didn't love the future I had in mind and wanted to be an actor. I had been planning for at least 2 years to be a cosmetologist bc it was more practical and I enjoyed doing things like that most days but it was starting to bore me (I just hadn't realized it till I was watching that scene!) I tried to talk myself back into my plans bc acting doesn't seem very practical and it's not taken very seriously till you're making a million dollars and everyone knows your name. I obviously know that I'm more likely to fail than succeed and I've done as much research on acting as I can (bc I was still trying to convince myself it wasn't worth the risk) buuuut I still wanted to do it.

I used to want to be a performer and a lot of that came from music being such a big thing in my family. That was probably the dream I held onto the longest before I realized it just wasn't for me and it isn't. I'm much better at acting and I always have been (I just didn't know it). After thinking back on my childhood I really do feel that I was made to act (even if not professionally bc I do have to act in front of family bc they're very close-minded people and they wouldn't accept my full identity I guess you could say). My sister and I always had this sort of improv thing going when we would play (as I'm sure lots of kids do). We were especially serious about it when we would play dolls (I still have those dolls and refuse to give them away bc of these memories) we would agree on the beginning of the “story” and just go from there and we usually came up with backstories for our dolls too. If it didn't feel real to us, we would start over. Sometimes we would just do things differently or create a whole new story, it would just depend. I don't know if lots of kids do that or not bc I didn't really play with anyone but my sister but we had to tell a whole story that felt real or we just weren't satisfied!

By the time I was 12, my sister and I had kinda grown apart and she refused to play with me anymore so, after a while of thinking it over, I decided to start writing fanfiction (and I've done it ever since). It felt more fun to write stories bc I was in complete control and my sister couldn't ruin my plans! It did feel kinda lonely though bc I didn't have that other person to connect with and enjoy my imagination with (I'm not someone that likes to write with others or share stories) but I eventually didn't care anymore. She said now she regrets ditching me bc she misses playing together but now that we’re both writing stories, she doesn't seem to care. I guess she’ll tell me once she reads this, if she does.

I still have a very active imagination (though it's a bit darker now bc apparently the older I get the darker I am lol) and I'm really happy I do and that my mom never tried to stop us from playing or enjoying our imagination together or apart. My mom was the bomb tbh. She would actually help us learn by having us talk or write about our current obsessions. Like once, I was having to start writing little essays for her (I think this one was a test run) and at the time, my sis and I were super into Monster High and she had me write about my favorite character and what I loved about them (I even got praise for my use of quotations, which I learned from reading above my grade level 😎). It was actually fun bc I was interested!

One reason that really got me thinking I should pursue acting was how much I can connect to a character when reading. I’m so empathetic it nearly kills me sometimes (I wouldn’t say I’m a full on empath like my sister). I cry when I read or watch anything now! I really started to realize how much I connect with certain characters and feel what they feel when I was reading Divergent. I really connected to Tris and understood her and could relate like I didn’t exactly have when I was reading Twilight. Could be nothing, like everything I’ve written here but it felt important to me so I’m just gonna go with it lol.

I have another reason to wish I could thank my mom in person bc she's the person that got me into Game of Thrones in the first place (and even knew I would love Daenerys and that she would be my fave). So, I wouldn't have seen that scene that changed all of my future plans for good if it weren't for her! I honestly don't expect a TV show to have such an impact on me but this one really did!

So now, anytime I watch that scene, I think wow this is the one scene that completely changed ALL of my plans and made me realize I had a dream I didn't know I had lol. That's me for ya! It's especially crazy bc I was like “I want job security! I want financial security!” and then abandon all my practical plans for the complete opposite. I'd rather not regret not chasing my dreams while I had the chance. And I would like to not wonder what life might have been like if I had when I'm older.

Surprisingly, pretty much everyone I've told has been nothing but supportive (except my dad really. He wants me to have a practical job bc he “doesn't wanna see me fail” or whatever) even my eye doctor that I had literally JUST MET!

And now when I watch any of Dany’s scenes I just get so emotional (I’m apparently emotionally fragile lol) and I’m just like “wow I love you so much”.

And of course, I know acting is anything but glamorous so I’m not just thinking about fame and red carpets (which actually freak me out bc I’m walking anxiety at this point) and I know it can be a very dirty, exhausting hands on job but knowing what it’s actually like to create movies and TV that people love forever, how hard it can be to do just made me want to do it more, strangely enough! I’m weird like that I guess lol.

So yeah, thanks Daenerys, for ruining my plans! Lol, she really is magick y’all. It’s hard to change my mind once I’ve made a plan! I’ve never loved a fictional character more, who actually inspires me in my day to day life like this. It’s crazy! Seriously, she made an awesome speech, not even directed at me and I’m just like “so yeah, let’s abandon all practical plans and go for the least practical career path possible. Sounds great!”

Watching Daenerys just makes me feel like I can do anything. She’s been through hell and I could not have survived what she has, ngl. Plus, I can relate to her better than other characters on the show (Jon is like the one dude I can relate to lol). I used to be able to relate to Sansa and Arya to some extent but they’ve never felt as relatable to me as Daenerys for some reason.

Realizing these things about myself and discovering a dream I didn’t know I had when my life plans were starting to feel less “me” made me nearly as happy as when I discovered feminism and felt like I had a purpose in life and a job to do that was bigger and more important than myself.

I dunno, I just love this fictional woman as much as my sister and cats (who mean the world to me btw) and she’s had such a positive impact on my life.

#personalish #long post #daenerys targaryen #ive been so emotional lately #im just better at expressing my emotions in writing for some reason #me and my sis are close again btw #forgot to mention that #but yeah #daenerys targaryen is the love of my life #and nothing will ever change that

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misscrawfords · 7 years

Note

11, 12, 16

Sorry for the delay in answering @cinquespotted and thank you for asking! :) Been a manic couple of days and I needed to think about non-fiction books about classics because that’s not so easy to answer when I haven’t been in academia in the subject for almost ten years. (Yikes…)

11. recommend a piece of non-fiction about the classical world

I was thinking about this on and off for a couple of days and then the answer hit me. Adam Nicholson’s The Mighty Dead. I’m not sure that “non-fiction” is quite the right way to describe this utterly brilliant book. It’s a lyrical, imaginative, semi-fictional investigation of Homer’s influence and power, as simultaneously oblique and direct, beautifully written and πολυτροπος as one of Homer’s heroes.

I also pulled out my undergraduate dissertation bibliography which was the last time I read classical scholarship seriously and I remember being blown away by some of the things on it. (Unlike many students, I absolutely adored writing my dissertation - I was very lucky.) Here are a few of the academic books I read which I recall enjoying even at the distance of 9 years:

- Chew, Kathryn. “The representation of violence in the Greek novels and martyr accounts”- Frye, Northrop. The Secular Scripture: A study of the structure of romance (not classical per se but brilliant and influential - I read more Frye for my masters and I’m a big, big fan)- Konstan, David. Sexual Symmetry- Loraux, Nicole. Tragic ways to kill a woman- MacAlister, Suzanne. Dreams and Suicides: The Greek novel from Antiquity to the Byzantine Empire

Yep, my dissertation was basically about sex and death. (What else is fiction about?) No, I didn’t do it on purpose…

12. who is your favourite poet? why?

(Oh how nice, this meme was created by someone writing British English. How delightfully unusual!)

Am I allowed to cheat and give two - one Greek and one Roman? Good! :P

On the Greek side, I have to go with Homer. I mean, I honestly feel he (he? As if we know!) might be my favourite author. Or at least sit up there alongside Austen. I guess at the moment I’m in more of a Homer mood than an Austen mood. Polite tea drinking and elegant sniping in a ball room really isn’t cutting it for me at the moment. (YES I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO AUSTEN THAN THAT. SHE’S MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR AND I’VE WRITTEN A DAMN MASTERS DISSERTATION ON HER. I’m just having a reaction against that kind of writing atm. I don’t know why. I don’t know what to do about it. I feel sad. But that’s another post.)

HOMER

I mean, where does one start? I’ve always loved The Odyssey from reading Book 6 for Greek GCSE and tittering over Odysseus covering his naked manhood with a fig leaf (lines inexplicably missed out from the Bristol Classical Press’ edition for fear of offending the sensibilities of school children, clearly not realising that by missing them out there is no indication that Odysseus isn’t stark naked in from of Nausicaa the entire scene lololololol). I did a final year paper involving reading the whole poem in Greek (spoiler: I failed, but I read about 2/3rds of it missing out the many books of recognition in Ithaca and it was a wonderful experience reading 100s of lines of Homer and getting a feel for the vocabulary and the rhythm of it all. I wish I had been a more dedicated student and had actually completed the whole thing.) It was my favourite paper. Professor Simon Goldhill (who looks and sounds like Zeus) opening the lecture series by booming, “The Odyssey is all about how to be a MAN”. ανδρα μοι εννεπε. First line of the poem. I get shivers thinking about it. Odysseus - his character. WHAT A GUY. (I don’t mean to say you have to like him or approve of him - that’s not what appreciating fiction is about, you clodpoles, but you have to admit he’s an amazing, amazing character and concept.) We actually had Professor Edith Hall come to my school today and she gave a talk on Odysseus as a hero and ngl I actually almost teared up at one moment. I just can’t believe such a great character exists and over 2000 years later, he still speaks to us and we can trace SO MUCH in Western culture back to these texts. Actually, while I was nursing a raging crush on Odysseus (I was 20 okay), it was Penelope who was the revelation to me in that paper. Did Penelope know her husband was back before the recognition scene? This had never occurred to me before and I was plunged into debates on the stability of the text and characterisation and feminism and narratology. I mean, it was just amazing! And whatever nitty gritty you might go into with it, I was just struck by this wonderful, admittedly overly romantic idea, that Penelope was absolutely Odysseus’ equal. That in this ancient epic, we had a woman who bested a man at his own game, that she was playing him - and he loved it. These two tricksters, separated for too long, finally getting their happy ending. And I know it’s not about that. But it also is. Emotionally, that’s what I got. And it made me so, so happy. Because, honestly, I don’t have a problem studying works written by, for and about men if they’re good, but there are SO FEW opportunities studying classics (at least traditionally; the approach is changing now which is great) to grapple with amazing female characters or figures - and here I had Homer’s hero and Homer’s heroine. I mean, there are many other things I love about the Odyssey but this is already long enough.

I always joked about the fact that I managed to get a classics degree from Cambridge without having ever studied the Iliad. (Ikr, it’s crazy!) And youthful, hubristic me was okay with that. I was an Odyssey girl through and through. I’d read the Iliad and it was all battles and death and the catalogue of ships. YOU FOOL. So the first time I really had to deal with the Iliad was when I found myself teaching it to A Level Classical Civilisation. And it was an absolute revelation. I’m teaching it for the third time at the moment and it’s not getting old. Every time I see something different, every time the students find something new, every time I cry quietly in class when we are reading. The places vary but the moments that are guaranteed to set me off are Achilles’ grief over Patroclus, him putting on his armour and his final unbending towards Priam. Why the armour? I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s something to do with this sense of inevitability of the approach of the end, of imminent climax (somehow more significant than the climax itself). It’s like how the lighting of the beacons in LotR is such a powerful scene. It’s not that the thing itself is particularly full of pathos but because of everything it signifies. I can’t altogether explain it but it always really affects me. When my uncle died the other year, I was reading the death of Patroclus with my class at that time and my mum came to visit. I didn’t know how to talk to her or talk about my uncle’s death and we had this absolutely awful walk around a country park in the rain (I am never going to be able to go back there for the memories it triggers) but somehow the only way I could articulate something of what I felt was by clinically and factually describing Achilles’ anguish and explaining to my mother how the ancient world mourned its dead and what Patroclus had meant to Achilles and what blinding grief and rage would drive him to do. And she gripped my hand and we both wept, silent tears, and we walked on in the rain talking about the Iliad. I’m actually crying again, writing this, right now. I am not sure there is ANYTHING in literature more powerful than Achilles’s rage and anguish.

If Odysseus is the hero of romance and comedy, a clever hero whose very wiliness makes my heart sing and my academic brain bounce up and down looking for mythic parallels, Achilles does something else altogether. I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently - partly because I’m teaching the poem and once again we’ve got to Book 16 and Achilles’ tragedy is becoming the focus of the remainder of the poem (if it wasn’t before) so it’s literally my job to think about his character - but also in the context of my recent obsession with SW, Reylo and Kylo Ren’s Episode 9 possibilities. I’m not trying to be trivial here but it saddens me SO MUCH that people have the nerve to police interest in that character, one of the most fascinating and complex to grace the screens of a fantasy blockbuster series in - well, honestly, I can’t think of another one. What a treat we have. Nobody has a problem loving Achilles’ character and weeping over him (and making soft pastel shipping graphics of him and Patroclus…) but he was objectively speaking an awful person in many ways. A violent, unpredictable, psychopathic overgrown adolescent who holds an awful grudge. But of course, that isn’t the full story and it’s not the purpose of this post to educate the internet on the nuances of Achilles’ character and his profound tragedy. I’ve got emotional enough, but honestly, we NEED Achilles. We need that larger-than-life expression of all our deepest fears and regrets and violence and destruction - and also wit, compassion, sense of justice and deep love and loyalty. I think someone once said that everyone should read the Iliad at least once in their life. Whether they did or not, it’s true: everyone should.

Okay, so I was also going to talk about how much I love Ovid too but that would be literally going from the sacred to the profane, the sublime to the ridiculous and I have spent way too long on this already. So, yeah, I really love Ovid as well.

16. Cicero - love him or loathe him?

I unironically love Cicero.

Okay, so I started along this journey from the worst of reasons. The first guy I ever liked in high school was obsessed with Cicero. At the time, I’d never read anything by him, so I decided to like him because liking the same things as your crush is an A+ way of getting him to notice you and like you back. (Spoiler: it failed.) Along the way, I got really inspired by Cicero’s wife Terentia. My first internet handles were Terentia. (I WONDER IF HE KNEW I HAD A CRUSH. lol he did. it was awful. I cringe.) Anyway, Terentia was fabulously wealthy and responsible for financing Cicero’s political career, married twice more after Cicero’s death, including to the historian Suetonius, and died aged 103. What a BAMF.

So first off, I love Cicero’s Latin. He’s my favourite Latin prose author to translate. Even if his speeches are sometimes on the dull side (we had De Imperio as an AS set text a couple of years ago and it was such a snooze-fest), the actual style of writing is so lucid and balanced and satisfying I can forgive him the content. I love all the rhetorical devices and how you can still see them at work in (good) political speeches today. I just get tremendous pleasure from translating him. It annoys me no end that the prose unseen author at A Level at the moment is Livy. I have no patience for Livy’s Latin; it doesn’t thrill me at all.

But I also kind of like Cicero the man. He lived at one of the most fascinating periods of history and although you can’t altogether trust his bias, he was a really important figure in that history and documented so much of it. I wish we had more sources to sit along side as I think he definitely puffs himself up, but nevertheless he’s invaluable. I even quite like his arrogance. He’s the ultimate self-made, intellectual man in Rome and I think he has reason to be proud of what he achieved. He must have been formidable to listen to.

Thank you for letting me ramble on about classics and literature like this. I miss writing on tumblr and not just reblogging pretty things.

Ask me about classics (or anything else obviously)

#classics #homer #the odyssey #the iliad #cicero

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