#i should fucking sleep lol but the 2:30 am thoughts r rly coming for me
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#i should fucking sleep lol but the 2:30 am thoughts r rly coming for me#and if i donāt continue to consume media via fanfic im gonna think abt things and i donāt want to think abt it š#i wish i had a more time consuming job so i could feel like im actually somewhat doing smth w my life#my friends r telling me to go to the career fair and theyāre right and i will but i donāt want to š#idk just like a comment in a convo i had w my friends today has wormed its way into the overthinking place#abt me not being busy lol and im turning it around and around in my head#anyway#im suddenly reading n/imona fanfic again LOL#have run out of j/atp to rereread š#im going thru all da fics w ambrosius rn LMFAO#bc im obsessed w the au of what if he got there first in the confrontation w the director#instead of n/imona as him#and i read a couple rly good ones i remember but donāt know how to find them so iām just going thru everything LOL#anyway bro i just wish i had more of a job#i have a remote part time lowkey thing that im doing at most like 3 hrs a day for lately#anyway lemme shut the fuck up on these 2:33am thoughts :|#jeanne talks
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do all of the lovesick asks bitch. expose urself
wow, ok.
read more thing bc this is long and embarrassing
1: Do you have a current crush?
Two actually but who's counting
2: How long has your crush lasted?
Uhh a few months n then the other one is weird i can't answer that lmao
3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?
I'mā¦ā¦..not that sappy I can give u like one
Ice prince : Runaways by ATL
Space boy : Stars by Fun.
4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?
I mean. It's very likely.
5: Will you ever reveal your feelings to them?
Yea probably
6: Whatās holding you back from making a move?
It's not that I haven't made a move but like. I am Fear.
7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?
A lil
8: Do you think they could ever love you?
Maybe???? but iām kind of an optimist
9: Do you love them?
Lol next question
10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?
DEFINITELY. I CAN'T NAME ANYONE SPECIFICALLY BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.
11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you
...IT'S VERY LIKELY.
12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?
Hi Jared
13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?
I'd probably need a second to process it but like probably hug āem idfk
14: Has your crush ever hurt you?
Nope!!!!
15: Have they made you cry by breaking your heart?
Nope!!!!!!!!!
16: Why do you like them?
Ice prince is fun to tease idk we go back n forth a lot but he's also a softie n listen he's dramatic enough to keep up w/ me
Space boy tells u like it is and he seems kinda scary or not,, nice at first maybe but he's actually also soft !!
They're also both hot as hell oh my god
17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?
I mean. If I had to I would but... Ā I don't WANT TO.
18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?
Mmm not really?? Not yet?? It'll happen dw
19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?
We both got scared of the firework finale on the 4th and I squeaked and he like held onto me n it was really funny n cute n I was just like āok this is a thing now greatā
Uhh I was doing the typical girl thing where I send screenshots of a conversation to a friend only the friend is his sister soā¦ā¦ā¦..i blame her itās literally all her fault
20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?
Murder someone probably
Or y'know
Something equally as shitty n illegal
21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?
Yea. Both. Napping is cool.
22: Held their hand?
Mmhm! Both but like that's not that weird
23: Kissed their cheek?
Yup. Both.
24: Kissed them on the lips?
Yeah. Both. Actually.
25: Gone down on them/ they've gone down on you?
N O P E
26: Had sex with them?
Nuh-uh.
27: Where on your body have they touched you?
This isā¦. A weird question I don't like it
28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?
Fire.
Ice prince.
Fire.
HM.
29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?
Ok maybe
30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?
Y e a
31: Does their presence calm you?
Mmhmm.
32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?
Notā¦ until recently but---
33: Are you friends with your crush?
Both of āem!
34: Have you always been friends?
Uhh I guess w/ Ice prince yes but not the other one
35: Last thing they messaged you about?
One was abt a dog, other one was abt coming over to hang out
36: Best phone call with them?
Hands down any call when I've been driving so I make my brother talk to them instead those are always fun
37: Last time you hung out with them?
I. I literally started answering this in one of their houses.
38: Ever been drunk together?
I DON'T DRINK
39: Fondest memory of them?
The fireworks show n then probs a few days ago when we just drove around n talked abt stuff
40: Ever made a mistake with them?
Mistake??????????? i donāt make those
41: Regretted not making a move?
Every day of my life but also I have literally kissed both of them so which is the truth
42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?
Nothing ācause I'm a big baby
43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?
Nope
44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?
ok first FUCK THIS QUESTION
Ice prince
Do u. Actually wanna date or am I just the most gullible person ever
.......................so how do you feel about polyamory
Do u actually hate the puns or do u secretly enjoy them I need to know.
Space boy
Are you aware that you can literally text me for anything at any time?? Bc u should be
Were you ever afraid to talk to me?
Will you promise to talk to me before doing stupid shit so that at the very least i can tell u that ur an idiot,,, but like. affectionately.
45: Did they wish you Happy Birthday on your birthday?
My birthday is in like another month and I didn't know either of them really last year so they better
46: Have they ever tried to make a move?
?????????
Idk tbh
47: If so why did you miss it?
āCause I'm clueless as hell
48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?
Don't think so
49: Are they single?
Lol yeah they're definitely single
50: Where were you when you felt the most for them?
IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING they both just look so cute n peaceful n I get all mushy n wanna protect them but I'm weak as hell so
51: Any specific place you associate with them?
Mmmm not really
52: Films that make you think about them?
Disney films in general
Marvel movies for Ice prince bc NERD
53: Have you picked up a habit because of them?
I don't think so but it's also not unlikely
54: What was your first impression of them?
Ice prince seemed antisocial and idk abt space boy we were like 5 yrs old technically so who knows man
55: Has it altered since then?
LMAO YES
56: Do you remember the first thing you talked about?
Probably musicals bc I can't shut up ever and he was confused
And uhhh no unless u mean like when we started hanging out bc it was candy
57: First time they touched you?
COLD
HE DID IT TO SPITE ME AND IT WAS FUNNY BUT IT WAS SO COLD HOW
And I'm 99% certain I made him high five me before we ever spoke bc I'm a nuisance
58: Have they ever lied to you?
Not that I know of
59: What are their eyes like?
Ohhhhh my GOD
really......clear?? thatās not like. a good way to describe em but u know when u look up at the sky and itās like. wow there are no clouds!! n then u feel the breeze and itās kinda cold but itās not unpleasant itās?? p nice??? like. that.
cool as FRICK like what the hell iām actually jealous theyāre a rly pretty nice shade n then suddenly itās!!! different!!!! and itās like!!!!!!!!!!!!! a surprise a v good surprise which is fitting u just gotta look a lil and heās full of lil surprises
60: What are you most attracted to about them?
well,, for one theyāre both hot as hell, so. that. in general.
if u know anything abt me iām a sucker for pretty eyes
i also like theĀ āsoft but pretends to not beā because i think itās cute theyāre also really good to cuddle with
61: Can you see a future with them?
well i canāt see one withoutĀ āem so somethingās gotta give here right?
62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?
i freaking hope not
63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?
why does this thing assume you said yes to the above question thatās kinda rude
64: Could they make you happy?
already do
65: Do you dream about them?
if weāre friends and you havenāt appeared in one of my dreams and done smth weird or random are we actually friends??
side note does daydreaming count LOL
66: What's something that only you two do?
i donāt think iĀ āgently bullyā anyone nearly as much as i do ice prince also the only one who actually can cuddle w/ me properly in the summer iām js
uuuummmm go on random drives in the middle of the night so tht zoe can make out w/ ppl instead of texting our sorry asses
67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?
you. have. no idea.
68: Have they ever given you anything?
food has definitely been exchanged and shared. iāve stolen sweaters. uh.
69: Have they ever used you?
.........not that iām aware of??
70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?
nO WHAT TH E
71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?
thatās......a bit much i might be pathetic and somewhat desperate but like i do kinda have a life
72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?
no but iāve walked into walls because i was tired and thinking abt stuff so thatās a thing i probably have done
73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?
YEAH LMAO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME IN GENERAL i like attention fight me
74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?
y e ah
75: Ever held you so close you could feel their heartbeat?
mmhmm
76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?
[taylor swiftās you belong with me playing in the distance]
77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?
um. no.
78: Do you trust them?
i would trust all of my friends with my life
79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?
i just get?? really happy n i turn into a little kid i swear to god how does he put up with me
n he makes me feel really calm n content n just. good. u know.
80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?
d e a r l o r d i h o p e n o t
81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?
in a heartbeat
82: Will they be in your life a year from now?
they BETTER BE
83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?
i have literally kissed both of them and not because of dares what kind of,,
84: Do they know you have feelings for them?
iām not exactly,,, subtle
85: Do you have a favourite picture with them?
no but i have favorite pictures of them
86: Your ideal date with them?
hey. concept. a double date. but like. instead of 2 couples itās just me w/ both of them wow
87: What's their name?
itās rly obvious that iām talking about porter and connor fuck you
88: Have you ever been in their room?
iāve been in connorās but porter n i mostly chill other places
89: Shared a secret with them?
yeah but itās not a secret if i tell the internet now is it?
90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?
donāt think so
91: Have they ever disappointed you?
nope!
92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?
uh. idk. porterās kinda closed off to other people at first i guess that could be problematic. iām patient w/ that shit so it doesnāt bug me as much idk
general relationships or lack thereof w/ other ppl tbh for both of them i thinkĀ
93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?
no
94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?
thatās what i do with p much everyone else but another way to approach this is if u couldnāt be together would u shut them out and the answer is no?? bc thatās kinda shitty
so yes
95: Ever looked for a sign to make a move?
every?? single second of every day but once again i have literally kissed both of them uh
96: What's standing in your way from being with them?
general anxiety
a single conversation
...lmao
97: Would you let them use you for sex?
this implies that,, they donāt care abt me and only themselves n theyāre not really?? like that so?? it wouldnāt happen like that??
realistically knowing myself i wanna say no but i probably would which is Not Good i know
98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?
no. like. literally the opposite. wtf
99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?
NEVER
100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?
that porter finds someone who makes him feel warm n fuzzy on the inside even if itās not me
n for connor that one day everything is stable and everything is ok
anyway hey jared U SUCK
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