#i should do this same thing with el's real family at some point too

[falmerbrook]

Meet the Saber-Skins

Helga is the companion of sorts to my Last Dragonborn, Elisere, and a few months ago I went a little ham developing her husband and kids. I've been meaning to draw them and introduce them for awhile now and thought this would be a fun way to do it!

I am incapable of just creating one single OC with no relatives. I always gotta give them a whole family. But this family is thematically important so I've put a lot of thought into them

[0daylighthours0]

My Mother's Unbiased Byler + Milkvan Opinions - Viewing ST for the 1st Time!

(UPDATE)

My Mama has now witnessed Stranger Things in its entirety. Her favourite season was the third, her favourite characters Hopper and Joyce, her favourite pairing would be those guys too, and her most disliked pairing? Can only assume.

I wanted to write out her thoughts on the second to last episode previously, as she'd held many, but before I knew it we'd finished the whole show and I was forced to an income of NEW opinions which ruled out my memory of any old ones. Shucks. But boy did this lady have much to say. The only way I can break it down is by providing a sample of quotes she'd delivered, in order, a day after having finished the series.

All are just things she said about milkvan and byler, as they're this post's main focus. There's simply much to say about these relationships too, being so up in the air over where they ought be expected to turn out. These are all direct quotes too (as I typed as she talked, unkown to her) so you'll have to excuse the natural way in which some lines come off as unfocused, being written after real time conversations. Let's get into it:

Ok I really don't know whether she likes Mike very much. She actively disliked the guy earlier on, and now her feelings appear to be more mixed. A lot of her discussion was solely around this guy's actions.

"It's almost like he's [Mike] forcing himself like- ok Hopper he was kind of very passionate and kissing, you know he sort of instantly- with Mike, from being obsessed and spending so much time with her [El], suddenly he starts cooling off more and more and suddenly- they even separated right? I mean yeah that was out of his control but he, but he didn't really seem like he missed her you know it's like he just got on with it."

This point caught me off guard. I don't know how much I agree with my mother on this. It made me realize that during Mike and El's separation, there weren't many quiet Mike moments in which he expressed worry for her, beyond a couple that blend into him simply having breakup concerns. Any time Mike mentions distress for her whilst she's away, his talk evolves into him simply anxious over the state of their relationship. As a group, everyone in our Cali gang clearly wanted to save Eleven, but Mike really should have gotten more heartfelt moments in solitude (that means without Will you suffer bros) in which it is demonstrated to the audience that he really does miss her, as someone who is in love. Her being away shouldn't simply come off as a writing excuse for him to vent to Will. There wasn't enough of that tenderness milkvan desperately needs, and if anything I watched was an attempt then it really wasn't translated well - never trumping everyone else's familial or close frienship-like fret for El, never showcasing his concern to come from a more personal place. I mean how hard is it to have him in her room, staring longingly at a photo of hers, with a background composed of soft music. Then literally leaving it at that. I mean that is it. No Will rushing in there to insist, "you can tell her that thing when you see her k? It'll all work out trust me ight, you're the heart you're the HEART!" que affectionate gazes, constructs a byler scene for no reason I guess .

"I mean how do we know that he missed Will? He articulated it. Why didn't he articulate this the same way to El?"

True. I mean the fact that I can't remember a moment after they find El in which milkvan ask oneanother how they are, and communicate how much they missed eachother, does indeed say something. They shared a hug and touch when they first reunited, which was gladly interrupted by Will. That pineapple + pizza thing was not long enough, or sensitive enough, to be their moment. There was clear bonding, but it didn't breach a level of romance and chemistry nearly decently. It's good that they got at least that, I mean we need to know that these guys are at LEAST really close friends. And then the camera just felt like panning over to Will about to burst into tears in a corner. Like huh? Bruv you've now made it so that milkvan's pizza bit leaves a bad taste in our mouths. If I were a milkvan I'd be furious.

"You know what, I think it's done purposefully to create that sort of cold, distant, confused, you know they wanted to make people say he's [Mike] bisexual. For people to question. They want to get people to think that."

My Mama believes writers intentionally soured milkvan for viewers to "confuse" audiences, build up anticipation, make them question milkvan's relationship and wonder if our main man will spin to Will. I agree. They want that good ol' triangle comeuppance.

"They really are trying to bring that across- so that people start thinking Mike, you know he doesn't love El, he loves Will. They're really trying to, make people think that. Giving them [milkvan] a really nitty gritty relationship."

Yup.

"When you're gay. Coming out like that it's- it's terrifying. You have to be very careful. And Will could, he could tell. You know when someone is attracted to you. I think, things became sort of- sort of complicated. And Will sensed, he could feel that Mike is attracted to him. And that's why he could open up like that. Because you can always tell. You know, you just know, so that's why Will was able to confess these things to him [she sees painting scene as a confession, whether Mike realized it or not, and so do I]."

Well damn Mama. And there you have it folks. My.. I'm not gonna call her the h word but.. my- notabigfanofgaythingsandwouldbehappytopretendtheydon'texist mother, perceives Mike as a homosexual kid, and just that. Well bloomin heck that's all the confirmation I need.

I didn't expect this as a turnout, I mean so particularly. My Mama actually didn't like byler - I think. Well. Bloomin heck. She actually enjoyed Vickie x Robin, and this shocked me to my core. I don't know whether this is simply due to her being a fan of Vickie's actress (recognizing her from Anne With an 'E'), but I do know that my mother has a bias in gay relationships and sees ones involving females as more "pure" than that of two males. So her language when describing Will has changed since her realization that he loves Mike for sure (which became undeniable in the van scene). She describes him as being 'obsessed' with Mike, and says writers really wanted to get that obsession across. I agree with Will having been one note during season 4, him hopefully having more time to shine in the approaching season, but I thoroughly disagree with him coming off as obsessive. I suppose our camera man displayed the guy's little glances at Mike so often that my Mama felt it was overdone, and unable to be ignored. I also think she's just avoiding use of the word 'love' when describing anything homosexual.

She still doesn't think Mike demonstrates how much he loves El enough to leave no room for debate. According to her, his moments with her seem surface level. Just as a reminder she does not know my thoughts. She watched that entire 'I love you' thing and still isn't secure in any genuineness of the guy. I believe she supposes that we're intended to acknowledge milkvan's romance, but also probe it.

I now wonder whether my Mama was good enough representation for the average audience, because she actually does own a bias - this being that she usually actively dislikes gay things. So I puzzle over whether her brain overanalyzed any of the boys' highlights, wanting to "expose" their homo intentions. At first things were up in the air, but it became clear that Mike did not pass her gaydar, he was simply too intimate with Will to make that pass. And this wasn't the case in other seasons, she never questioned their friendship til now. She also hasn't acknowledged any supposedly queer relationships besides rickie (vobin?) and byler, meaning that other fan favourites such as elmax, steddie, ronance and such else didn't stand out as gay to her. This doesn't signify those other relationships to not have a chance, I'm elmax's personal cheersquad, it's plainly clear that my mother didn't have a tendency to point at every same sex relationship and yell suspicious. Byler was purely undeniable. You can thank Will's love being canoned for this, otherwise noone would have a need to read into Mike.

I don't know whether she supposes byler to have a chance moreso than the milk in the van, even with Mike's ambiguity. It would seem that as of right now her guess is that watchers are intended to second guess both relationships in order to build up interest. However, she doesn't know how unlikely Will's love life is to turn out negatively seeing as those damn writers manipulated crowds into consistently sympathizing for him. Dunno about the rest of you but that sounds like good news to me.

I have no idea how to close this analysis. Is it an analysis? There's much more I want to say, much more she said, but I fear this to be too jam-packed and aimless as is. I'm writing a third part to my most recent milkthevan failing relationship deep dive, and that'll possibly consist of thoughts I wish to input after gathering so much data from my mother.

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥

[acowardinmordor]

More thoughts

Steve is bored. Super bored. Actually reads some of the old documents and records level bored. Same thing as real history, before his dad bounced to go on campaign, Steve was crowned the Young King - his dad still outranks, but technically Steve is King, he just has no authority and relatively little money.

Bringing this back to the original headcanon. Steve learned about chivalry and kindness and responsibility, but it doesn’t fully click for him. He sees someone beat up, he’s going to ask Who did this to You? And maybe he has that person flogged or banished. Or. Maybe he thinks you’re an idiot, and he does nothing. His opinions make or break entire family lines so it’s not like anyone’s going to tell him off.

Hosts parties and feasts and games to stave off the boredom but that got boring a while back.

Oh, let’s say he’s 20ish at this point. The kids are still around 12. So shift the older kids older in general I guess.

shit I forgot about Robin. Shameful. Still have to delay her arrival but it will be some form of rumbling and discontent, so Steve gets a message from his father to go do charitable work and improve their reputation. Ends up working with Robin.

There is something in here with Steve sneaking into the city and listening to Eddie tell stories. Doesn’t know who he is, just knows that this guy is much much more interesting than the stupid histories and records he’s supposed to read. And maybe trying to get this guy to come try his luck at the castle. But also can’t let himself be recognized. But Eddie isn’t an idiot and has seen Steve wandering the castle grounds bored out of his mind. Knows exactly who this is. And he’s annoyed that the guy hands him a few Pennies - because Steve is a little ‘it’s a banana’ about it all right now.

Will goes missing while playing on the edge of town with the boys. They technically aren’t supposed to play together, so they’re sorta farther into the forest than anyone is supposed to go. Hears something scary, runs, sees something, runs harder, tries to hide in the hollow of a tree, ends up in the upside down.

Steve knows that the chatelaine is important so he funds a search effort even though, realistically, Will was always a sorta scrawny sick kid, and if he’s been in the forest for two days, the odds aren’t great. The meager pay means that Eddie is out in the woods looking.

Kids find El first, and she’s even more Other. She for sure knows that this is the right world where she should be, but spent enough time in the UD that she recognizes the boys describing the sounds that day. Something something, she’s too obviously Other and it’s dangerous for people to know about her because that’s a standing execution order from the crown. She’s staying under Hoppers protection in his place from before he was made captain of the guard, but he’s got an entire job. Eddie is the one who ends up hanging out with her most of the time.

Idle thoughts for the historical royalty au it turns out I want to read, but can’t be bothered to write.

This is a fairly young or small kingdom. Early Plantagenets but less established.

Steve’s mom is more in the category of Eleanor of Aquitaine. She’s off in her own lands trying to fix the mess that the King made. The King forbade her taking Steve with her and they both have other lovers. Steve’s mom had several failed pregnancies when he was young, and at least one or two siblings that died too young for him to really remember.

The King is fighting yet another push against Not-France. Has been gone for at least two years, will be gone at least one more. Left his advisors and council in place, and gave Steve very little authority. He’s basically Henry the first. Except he’s Richard

Most of the important Lords and families left the capital when the King did, either to go on campaign, or back to their own homes. The adults who remain are either greedy and manipulative or too low ranked to have another option. Lots of the children of families are left there as good faith

Nancy and Barb are the daughters of nobility, not known for their social standing. Carol and Tommy are trying very hard to get/stay in Steve’s favor so they can elevate their and their families’ status. Joyce got elevated to a role like a chatelaine because the prior died while the king was gone. Hopper is Captain of the Guard.

Magic exists if you ask the right person, but in any official sense or statement there is science, religion, and blasphemous rumors.

El is for sure somewhere in the changeling shade of things. But in the sense that she got stolen, lived with the Unseelie Court, and escaped. Because he is the reason I am in this fandom; El follows the sound of music and laughter and finds Eddie.

Eddie lives with his uncle, who was in the last war, took an arrow to the knee and can’t serve again. Does odd jobs and repairs things for people. Eddie is supposed to be apprenticing as a scribe, but hates writing down ledgers of how much the Lords spend and how much they tax. It’s doomed from the start. But, it means he’s the rare example of a poor kid in the city who can read and write. He makes spare money telling stories, writing down and using bits of histories and rumors he hears while apprenticing. And because he travels from the town up to the court, he’s also doing a bit of unofficial trade.

Lucas helps at the stables. Mike wants to be a knight, but was too young to go with the king to war. Younger kids went, but the Wheelers are just noblé enough that he didn’t. Only son privileges. Will was sick as a kid, so he’s seen as kind of a ‘what’s the point’ but he learned to read a little, then spent so long sick he taught himself more.

Dustin flits around the court and castle, bullying people into explaining things to him. He has learned many things, and is still a little genius, but his reading is kinda self taught so he can’t always say why he’s right beyond saying that he is. Claudia came with the Queens court but stayed after the Queen left again. She’s in a weird important-but-not-noble position. Steve adores her because she was around more than his mom.

Actually. Yeah. Dial up the magic a little. The King conquered the region and stomped out most of the hedge-witch type folks. Also pissed off some of the more powerful ones as they fled. But the big piece is that he broke A Thing™ that served to hold the worlds separate. That was a least 15 years ago. The leak is slow/irs been getting worse.

Lucas’s family isn’t nobility, but they’re wealthier than some of the nobles. He’s the personable son with a fondness for horses, racing, hunts, etc.

Max and family moved to Hawkins and something something, Max is now working at a smithy. It’s not what she should be doing, but she’s really good at it. Also: horseshoes gets us LuMax.

Maybe the Hargrove were noble, mayfields weren’t. Lord Hargrove went to war, Billy has been there too, and the second you look away from max she’s back to doing what she wants.

Murray is something like a hedgewitch.

The Russians become some of the conquered people, looking for an opportunity to reclaim and lacking that: a chance to fuck things up for Hawkins.

Creel is def a kid from wayyy long ago, who got conned by the fae, but spent so long there that he’s got magic of his own, and a love/hate with a humans.

[supercorpkid]

Rescue Mission – Suicide Mission.

Part 2 – You can’t trust anybody.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Brainy x Reader, Eliza Danvers x Granddaughter!Reader.

Word count: 3105.

Warnings: Angst. Injuries.

Previously on the series - Part 1

You fly back to the DEO, to meet with Alex and Kelly. It’s your fault, you know, you couldn’t save Jamie, now they got her too. You get there before they do, and you go to the infirmary to see Kara. The crushing weight of your choices stare right back at your face when you look at Kara’s injured face. All of this, all of it, it’s all your fault.

You should’ve been out there with Kara when she was fighting Rao knows what. Two Kryptonians are better than one. You should’ve been aware of what was happening, and you should’ve been there to keep Lena safe from the kidnappers. You shouldn’t have left Jamie behind; you should’ve brought her to the DEO with you so she could be safe from all of this. There are so many things you should have done but didn’t.

Some superhero you are.

“I’m sorry, mommy.” You say, stroking her face wherever it is not bruised. “I know you’re hurt, but please, you have to wake up. Please. I-I don’t know where mom is, and you’re hurt, and Jamie is gone-” You can’t hold the tears back, no matter who can see you through the glass walls. “It’s all on me. And I’m just-just a kid. I know I’m your kid, but still not enough for all of this. And I’m scared and lonely. Aunt Alex will blame me, as she should, it’s my fault.” You put your forehead on the bed next to her face and reach for her hand. “It’s all my fault, I didn’t protect the most important people in the universe for me. And now-” You can’t even finish.

It’s all laid out in front of you, you are aware of how all of this is your fault. Your heart beats unsynchronized, and you feel like it wants to just stop beating. Why is this happening? Why would anyone want to destroy your family so bad? And why-why are you letting them?

“Excuse me Superkid, I need you to come with me.” You hear Brainy’s voice behind your back, and you snap your head up, aggressively cleaning your tears. You let go of Kara’s hand, not before kissing it and squeezing reassuringly, and follow him out of the infirmary and into the closest empty office.

“What is Brainy? Where is Alex and Kelly?” You ask and you see him moving uncomfortable, shifting on his feet. “What!”

“They didn’t make it here yet.” Brainy answers and you furrow your brows at the thought. “I don’t think director Danvers was who she said she was. Or maybe she was, and now isn’t. There’s a 50% chance that-”

“Brainy! What the hell are you talking about?” You ask and he slides his tablet on top of the table, and you stop it with your hands when it gets to you.

“See? That’s the Alex who picked up Kelly.” You agree with your head at the image on the tablet, still confused as to where he is going with this. “And then this Alex walks in the building a few minutes later.”

“What?” You look at the video playing in front of you. The two of them look exactly alike but are dressed in slightly different clothes. You shuffle your brain for a sentence you heard earlier. ‘Both of the Danvers have left with Jamie’s mother.’ Everyone in school knows Alex, they wouldn’t let Jamie leave with anyone else except her mothers. So, she left with one Alex, but there is another one out there.

Brainy has put both videos, side by side, so you can look at it more carefully. You weren’t paying attention to what your aunt was wearing today, but you remember she had a jacket on.

“This one is the real Alex.” You point at one of the images. “Does she have Kelly?”

Brainy looks at the video again and agrees with his head, reluctantly. “It doesn’t matter who has her. You can’t trust anybody. If there’s a shapeshifter out there, anyone could be the enemy. Maybe even in your family.”

“Are you saying it could be any of us?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he denies with his head.

“Unlikely that a shapeshifter would be able to impersonate a 12th-level intellect like me in a believable manner.” Brainy says and you shake your head in denial, throwing yourself in one chair. “Or you, I should think so. But Alex, Kelly? We don’t know.”

“Should we ask for back-up? J’onn? Nia?”

“Weren’t you listening?” He snaps at you, aggressively. “We can’t trust anybody! Also, no! We’re not bringing Nia into this!”

“Well, 12th-level intellect-” You look him up, and he stops typing on his tablet to look at you. “Where’s Lena and Jamie?”

“To that question, I still don’t have an answer.” He says, making you growl. “But fear not! Agent Dox is on the case.”

He leaves the room, and you breathe deep. You can’t trust anybody. Kara is still unconscious; Lena and Jamie have both disappeared and there’s someone out there using your aunt's face. This feels like a suicide mission. How on Earth will you find them without help?

You jolt out of the room and fly high in the sky looking for them. You fly everywhere. The entire Earth once, twice, three times. You can’t see them.

You’re up high in the sky of National City, thinking about all the alternatives that you have. You should bring the aliens to you, surrender yourself before they get to Alex, Kelly -IF they haven’t yet- and even your… GRAMM!

You fly to Midvale so fast, you only blink again when you get there. “Gramm! You home?”

“Hey sweetie!” Eliza comes to the door, and your heart seems to gain strength to beat again when you see her smile.

“It’s you!” You throw yourself in her arms, and she holds you gently.

“Yeah, it’s me.” She chuckles at the absurdity of the sentence.

“You have to go to a safe place, you-” You stop, thinking about it. Where is a safe place? The DEO? Probably not anymore. Your home? You doubt it. Even here in Midvale she is not safe, because fake Alex can show up at any time and she would go with her, unable to differentiate them. “You have to come with me.”

“Where?” Eliza steps away from you and holds your face in between her hands. “Look at you in your superhero suit all dirty and blo-” She furrows her brows when she realizes. “You’re bleeding! Come in, come in. Let me look at you.”

“Gramm, I’m not bleeding. This is not my blood.” You clench your eyes shut, holding back the tears and the guilt. “It’s Kara’s. Gramm, please. You’re not safe here, you must come with me. Please. I’ll explain everything when you’re somewhere safe.”

“Ok. I trust you, sweetheart.” Eliza says and you smile at her, before picking her up and flying to the Fortress of Solitude. You pick up the ‘key’ under the snow, and open the door, rushing Eliza in. “It’s so cold in here.”

“Wait.” You use your super speed, and, in a flash, you are before her eyes with a warm coat. She dresses in it, and you guide her somewhere she can be more comfortable -if it’s even possible to be comfortable in a place with nothing but ice-.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on and what we’re doing here?” Eliza asks and you do. You start talking and you can’t stop anymore. You tell her everything and even though her eyes are filled with worry and tears, she still holds your hands and smiles lightly at you when you’re finished. “Sweetheart, I know this feels almost impossible, and I can’t tell you how much I wish none of you were going through this, but-” She looks around and breathes in, gathering up courage. “Look where we are.”

“At the Fortress?” You ask, wondering if this is some enigma you must solve. She agrees with her head.

“Superman and Supergirl's hiding place, because they are Kryptonians who came to Earth and got superpowers.” She says, like the thought is somehow ridiculous. “Would you say they can’t solve this?”

“No.” You think about it for a second. “I mean, they are the Supers! Of course they can.” But Supergirl is right now laying in a bed under the sun on the DEO, and she can’t help. So, should you ask for Superman’s help?

“Well, you’re half Kryptonian. You have the same superpowers. You have the same hiding spot. You’re the daughter of the champion of the Earth. You wear the same crest on your chest.” Eliza taps lightly at the ‘House of El’ crest on your suit. “If they can do this, you, Superkid, can do it too.”

“But Gramm, I’m all alone. And I can’t trust anyone.” One single tear falls from your eye, and Eliza cleans it with her thumb.

“You can trust yourself.” She whispers softly. “Just listen to your heart, sweetie.”

Listen to your heart. Listen. That’s it! That’s all you need to do.

“I have to go!” You get up in one motion. “You’ll be safe here, and I’ll come back with our family. Thank you, Gramm!”

You fly out of the Fortress leaving her behind. You feel bad for leaving her alone in such a cold-lonely-place, but it’s for her own safety, so you shove this thought to the back of your mind and fly to National City.

Just listen to her heart.

You’ve been doing that since you’re ten. You know your mom’s heartbeat like the palm of your hands now. So just listen.

You hear a steady thump-thump somewhere almost out of the city, and you follow the sound like a clear signal. You land in front of a lead covered shack, and you try to even your breath, and calm your brain. This is it. This is the moment you can put a stop to this nonsense. You can save your mom, and your cousin. You can do it, this is a rescue mission, not a suicidal one.

You clench your jaw, and your fists, and focus on Lena’s heartbeat. Save her. Get her out of here. Your hands shake with anticipation and energy. You kick the door open and feel no resistance for a few seconds. Odd.

Soon you feel gunshots ricocheting on your body, and you keep walking in, unaffected. You’re in a dim-light big space. You see four guys on each side with nothing but guns shooting at you. There’s something wrong. This is almost too easy.

“Gentleman.” You say, and one of them makes a signal for them to stop shooting. “This feels like a waste of time. Are you sure we’re going through with this?”

Your answer is guns shooting at you again. Fair enough. You fly to one side, pulling the rifle out of one of the guy’s hands. You look at him, lips twitching in anger, before knocking him down with his own gun. One by one get knocked down by you, until all eight men lay blacked-out on the ground, and you find no more resistance.

You go inside exploring what it seems to be a lab. It doesn’t take long until you find Jamie tied to a chair with metal cuffs. A metal ring surrounds her head like a halo. And you notice that her eyes can't focus on anything. You break it off. Both hand cuffs, and head metal ring. And her body slumps forward, for you to hold it.

“You’re ok.” You tell her, holding her up straight. “You’re safe. I’m here. Talk to me, big-Danvers.”

“Get away from me.” Jamie fights out of your embrace with so much anger, she falls on the floor. You see her crawling away from you, so scared it makes your heart squeeze on your chest out of guilt.

“Jamie, Jamie.” You follow her, while she slumps forward like she is petrified of you. “It’s me! Your cousin. Little-Danvers!”

She shoots her head back at you at the sound of that. She blinks, still trying to decide whether you are really you. You come closer and kneel in front of her, but you don’t touch her yet.

“Is this really you?” Her hand makes way to your face, holding your jaw tight. “Are you one of them?”

“Hey, it’s me! It’s really me.” You look at her and realize her gaze is far away, and she can’t really focus on you. You look around, asking yourself who they are, and where they are. “Where’s Lena?”

“Locked up.” Jamie says slowly, dropping her head low. “Gone.”

Your heart stops at the sound of that word. She can’t. She can’t be gone. You hold her up on your side and make your way deep inside the lab. You can hear Lena’s heartbeat. She’s not gone, she is right here, and you’re going to find her.

When you find Lena, she is laying down on the floor, behind bars, like she is nothing. You put Jamie against the wall, and she stays there, unable to move. You run to Lena, breaking the bars of the cell she is in.

You kneel next to her, with horror. You look at the pool of blood around her head and terror washes over you. Your hands shake and you can’t move.

“She’s gone.” Jamie says, sliding down the wall and falling on her butt, as terrified as you are.

You wish you could move. You want to pick her up and shake her until she opens her eyes, until she says, ‘it’s ok babygirl, I’m ok’. You only notice your tears when they fall on her cheek, and your stomach twists in consternation. Is this real?

Your breath finally catches up to your lungs, and you try to stop your desperate sob so you can hear her. You heard her heartbeat, you’re not insane. Lena is alive. She has to be!

Your hands finally move, and you touch her face, she still feels warm. You drop your head, laying it on her chest, and you hear it. Her heart, her breath, her blood still cursing through her veins.

“Mom, mom, wake up.” You ask, holding her up against you. Feeling her body completely limp, like Kara’s have felt, hours ago. You look at the side of her head, there’s a long gash going down her face. You tear the fabric of her shirt and blow over with your freeze breath, putting it over her injury.

“Jamie, Jamie. I need your help. Please!” You ask your cousin, looking at the amount of blood on your hands, and legs.

“She’s gone.” Jamie says and your heart ponds against your ribs, and you want to yell. You want to tell her to shut up, she is not gone! She is right here! She’ll be fine! “And they’ll come back to take me too.”

You know who she’s talking about, the shapeshifters. You pick Lena up, throwing her floppy body over your shoulder and you make your way to Jamie, knowing well enough you can’t stay here waiting for them to show up. You hold Jamie’s waist, and like a reflex, or a body memory, she clenches her hand on your shoulder and closes her eyes knowing what is coming.

You fly out of the hiding place with both on your arms, and your heart is almost easing up when you realize you have found them. They are with you and you’re bringing them to safety, and you can care for them in the right way. But your heart beats fast again when you realize this fight is far from over. You still must come back and find your aunts. And still need to find the shapeshifters and stop them from doing anything worse.

You fly to the Fortress. Taking them inside is no easy job, but soon Eliza shows up and helps you with them. She apparently found where the coats are kept, because she comes in with a few in hand. She wraps Jamie gently close to her, and you lay Lena down, enfolding her with as many blankets as you can find.

“Gramm.” You call her and she comes closer to look at Lena. “She was bleeding, so I stopped it with my freeze breath.”

Eliza smiles at you, and nods. “You did the right thing; it will constrict the blood vessels.” She looks at you, cleaning the tears on your face. “I’ve got her now. She will be fine.”

You breathe deep trying to convince yourself this is true. It has to be true. What other alternative do you have?

“I’ll go pick up Kara.” You look at Jamie, who seems to be coming down from her shock state. “Then you’ll tell me what was going on inside that lab.”

You fly into the DEO unceremoniously and pick Kara up without anyone being able to stop you whatsoever. You’re almost out of there when you hear Brainy’s voice.

“Superkid. Alex and Kelly have appeared.” You look behind you, with Kara still unawake in your arms, but at least her body feels a little more rigid, and that must be a good sign. “They are locked up and-” He narrows his eyes at you. “Where are you taking her? She needs sunlight.”

“I’ll come back for Alex and Kelly. We still have to find the other Alex.” You look down at Kara and breathe deep. “But Supergirl comes with me.”

Brainy thinks about it for a second. You both have a stare down for what it feels like minutes, but it probably wasn’t that long until he breaks eye contact.

“How do I know you’re really you?” He asks and you raise an eyebrow.

“I could ask you the same question, but it wouldn’t matter. You said they couldn’t impersonate us, didn’t you?” You say, decisively. “My momma comes with me. Please don’t try to get in the way of that, I would hate it if I had to ensure our way out.”

“Fair enough.” He nods and you fly away, getting Kara to safety too. It’s just when she is wrapped around in blankets, lying next to Lena, with the yellow sunlight of the ‘Lena Luthor protocol’ on her, that you can breathe.

You look around your family, knowing damn well you’re still missing both of your aunts, and you know this is far from over. You know it’s been too easy. Nothing is ever this easy. Something big is coming, you can just feel it and it sends shiver down your spine.

[thebrokengate]

How likely that Milkshake is going to break up in the first or second episode like literally after the monologue took place? I'm thinking about it and I honestly don't know how it's gonna play out. The Duffers really left everything so open and it's just frustrating tbh. Like literally nothing is resolved except maybe Jopper? And I heard Jopper wasn't even supposed to go canon this season and the Duffer originally wanted to wait until S5 (someone can confirm this maybe).

Supernatural plot is literally unresolved, the characters have lost. We don't know what's going on with Vecna. The relationship dynamics and issues between the characters are unresolved. We have no real scene between Mike and El after the ''grand confession''. We have no resolution on Will/Mike/El love triangle. Even Nancy/Jonathan thing is weird with the addition of Steve. Robin and Vickie seem to have been set up but there was no actual follow-up or romantic confirmation truly. We don't know what's gonna happen with Max. I was genuinely confused that we didn't even get a scene where the characters read Max's letters? What was that even about? We never got to see characters' reactions to Eddie's death aside from Dustin. What was up with Nancy's visions, and why didn't she mention them to Mike? Like what? She literally saw her family die in her vision but she never even talks to Mike about it? I could go on but it's getting too long.

The real question is, will they be able to solve and tie all these plot points in just 8 episodes or something? I get that some plot points had to remain unresolved but this is too much, in my honest opinion. I'm not sure if they will manage to sort things out with the supernatural plotline, while managing to fix the relationship issues of the characters and adjust their dynamics. I'm especially worried about Mike, Will and El dynamic tbh.

Trust me, I'm just as disoriented and confused as you are about how they're going to do all this and I really still feel like they did go too big this season and tried to do too much to the point where they eventually got lost on half of their story. They could prove me wrong next season, but.. as they say, bigger is not always better, and they really should have gone for quality over quantity. The fact that so many things were left open and characters were dearc-ed is what left me the most frustrated with Vol 2, honestly. Some questions might have been answered, but those were few compared to everything else you just named. I don't know. I definitely understand your concerns, anon. I had no idea about them originally wanting to push J*pper back to season 5 either. But if that's true.. Jesus, just imagine, with everything else they have to cram in.

I'm less worried about the El/Mike/Will love triangle though, probably just because they treat El with the most importance so anything happening with her dynamics will likely get the most attention, and the Duffers said that who ends up with who in regards to the love triangles won't be left up for debate, so I'm confident on that. Will is also confirmed to be a main focus next season as well, so his dynamic with Mike will surely be touched on, too. Mike and El are going to have to inevitably talk about that monologue at some point, and Will's lie about the painting has to be addressed too, which is how I see things ending for them as a couple, but how exactly they'll go about it, like everything else, is still up in the air. The rest.. I don't know. Eight episodes is a good amount of time, but they'll probably have to make it at least close to the same length as season 4 in episode runtime if they want to make sure every storyline is completed and nothing is left hanging. And they really need to involve every other writer in this process as well so they don't forget anything. Eh.. I hope for the best.

[shit-scfandom-did]

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

[ripperdaddy]

the viktor vector romance path + ending we deserve

Disclaimer: This is definitely something I came up with in my head. There will be a few instances that are solely made up so it can tie in with the “story.” This is purely fictional; something I wished happened if there was a possible Vik romance 🥰 This is based on my general knowledge of the game & Vik’s life. All gifs + images are from my own personal play through, but wouldn’t be possible without the help of the Appearance Menu Mod, found on Nexus Mods by the creators, MaximiliumM and CtrlAltDaz. And the shirtless Vik mod by the lovely samsnak ♡

It would start after completing the Paid In Full quest where you pay Vik back the eddies you owe him.

I feel like realistically, the general player would have to be at least halfway through the story to have collected enough eddies. I would say that a good point in the story where we can begin the romance is that you’ve already established a connection to Alt and have dealt with the VDB’s.

I think it would be a short side quest like River’s. Vik already plays a big part in the story overall on his own, so I don’t think it’s necessary to make his “side quest” too long. His romance would just be an addition to the ending.

And as much as I would love for him to be a bisexual option for both male/female V, if we’re sticking with the game’s standard with limiting partners to only one kind of partner, he would only be romance-able by a female V with a feminine voice.

V: Finally scrounged up enough eddies to pay you back in full.

Vik: Hold on to ‘em just in case - you need ‘em more than me.

V: I’m not taking them all the way to my grave, Vik. Here. And.. thanks again for doing so much work on me ‘thout ever seein’ an enny.

Vik: That’s what friends are for.

Then, there is an additional option for dialogue to trigger the romance path.

V: Friends? I think you’ve been in and out of my body more than anyone else I’ve hooked up with in Night City.

He laughs, with a coy smile. “Well, can’t argue with you there. Why don’t we take some of these eddies and grab a drink. You know, to celebrate. Catch up on old times. Haven’t seen you round here much lately, kid.”

You agree to meet at the El Coyote Cojo tomorrow evening.

You meet around 9 PM and you are welcomed by the sight of Pepe and Vik at the bar.

V: Nice choice of venue.

Vik: Thought you’d like it. Haven't been here since.. well, you know.

V: I miss him, Vik.

Vik: I know, V. Me too.

You immediately take a seat and tinker with a few dialogue options, where you can either have a sweet moment talking about Jackie or some surface questions to ask, like how he’s doing, what kind of drink he likes, etc. But it all winds down to Jackie anyway, where Vik confides in you about his past. Judging by how Vik was so affected by Jackie’s death, and V’s (if you chose the suicide ending), you can tell that he has lost a lot in his life, and keeps his circle very small.

You then achieve an even closer, more personal relationship with him. But, ultimately nothing happens other than the usual, wait 24 hours in game for a text/phone call from Vik to head into the next stage. At least now, you have established the foundation for a future romance.

Halfway through the 24 hour period, you get a text from Vik thanking you for the lovely evening. No reply needed, as he calls you once the 24 hour mark hits and invites you out for another date.

You meet at Tom’s Diner for coffee in the afternoon. It starts off with him apologizing for being emotional the previous night and asks if you’re open to hanging out again and going down to Pacifica to watch a fight with him.

Vik: Hey, V. I just wanted to apologize about last night. I didn’t mean to be such a downer.

V: It’s okay, Vik. We share the same grief.

Vik: I was going to head down to Pacifica and catch a real good match later on today. I was wondering if you’d like to come along, think it’d be great for the both of us, you know, as a distraction.

pssst even Johnny’s rooting for y’all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Johnny: Hmm, interesting.

V: What?

Johnny: Never thought you'd be going out with this guy.

V: Vik's amazing. And I mean--we basically owe it to him since he practically saved our life.

Johnny: Don't tell me you're going out with him out of pity.

V: I'm not.

Johnny: I know, I can feel you get all mushy-gushy. It's almost repulsive. Just wanted to hear you admit it.

V: Eat a dick, Johnny.

You arrive before the GIM and blend into the crowd.

V: Nothin’ like watching guys beat the shit out of each other to get your blood pumpin’, huh?

Vik: This is a real good matchup, V. This kid’s fresh, young talent.

V: You miss it, don’t you?

Before the fight begins, Vik shares a story about his time in the ring and coming in second in the Watson Boxing Grand Prix.

There’s some extra fun options in the dialogue, you can bet some eddies on who’s gonna win, or side with him. The fight ends, and you two head outside.

Since you’re already out in Pacifica, you head over to the boardwalk (where you would ride the roller coaster with Johnny) and he starts telling you about the last days of his boxing career and how he transitioned from the sport to being a ripperdoc.

You both share a sweet moment with each other, reminiscing about old times and talking about V’s future with the relic. This is where I would see Vik confessing how he feels about you, mentioning how grateful he is for Jackie introducing you to him.

The evening ends and Vik asks you to give him some time to try and dig up some footage from his storage and have you come over to watch. You can kiss him then wait another 24 in game hours before the last quest. Halfway through, he texts you and asks you what you’d like for dinner. You can opt for pizza or chinese.

I haven’t seen or read anything about how or where Vik lives. If I overlooked something, please let me know! But for the sake of the story, let’s say he does actually have his own place that’s now introduced in the game. Personally, I think he has a typical bachelor pad, like a really nice apartment. Not too far from his clinic either. He looks like he would just walk to work. Vik definitely has a lot of money, but he’s so humble I doubt he would choose to live lavishly. As mentioned in the beginning, he typically just “sleeps nights” ever since he was over “being a legend” so I’m guessing his lifestyle is very routine. He goes to work, goes home, sleep. Seems unlikely he has a place like the Peralez’s. It would probably be just the same as V’s but decorated to his taste.

The evening comes and you are over at his place. He’s dressed in just a white undershirt, no exo-glove. You get to know more about his family, how he grew up — scanning things around his place. Then he plays some footage of one of his fights for you, while you two have a conversation and share a beer. As you two sit on the couch, you get close, then have an opportunity to kiss him.

then this is where da sex happen hihihi (ノ・ω・)ノ

The next morning you wake up and you two have a heartfelt conversation about where this is going. He already knows your situation, so I would assume he is very accepting and supportive. And with Vik, he seems like the kind of guy who would still want to be in your life and keep the friendship the same way despite no longer being together romantically. So it’s official. He’s your man 🥵 !!11!1!

Like how River gives you the “fuck the police” tank top after sleeping with him, I think Vik would give you his Night City Devils t-shirt that provides you with a significant amount of armor or some kind of cyberware upgrade that makes you invulnerable for a brief moment while using your hands to fight enemies.

Note: I was thinking of Vik giving V his boxing glove necklace, but because it's part of his character's appearance in the game, I don't think we would be able to essentially "take it" from him - unless he gives you a replica as a keepsake. Which I think would also work.

If you successfully romance, during the rooftop scene near the end of Nocturne OP55N1 (despite Vik’s disposition of him telling you to take matters in your own hands and being a little closed off), you still have an option to reach out to him when Johnny advises you to call a loved one.

V: Hey, Vik. I just wanted to say, thanks for hanging with me, until the end.

Vik: Quit talking like it is, V. Just do what you need to do.

V: I mean, think of it. It’s like I’m heading into the last round of this whole thing.

Vik: Well, in that case.. remember—keep your hands up, guarded at all times. It ain’t over just yet.

V: Heh.. I can feel it, just a few more punches.

Vik: Now look at you - the new welterweight champ of Night City.

V: Thanks, coach.

Vik: Last piece of advice from the coach's corner. Just.. be careful, kid. Remember, I’m with you.

Okayyyy, soooo I’m not the biggest fan of how CDPR gave us two of the same endings (Path of Glory). The only difference is that Rogue’s life is spared. I would have assumed that not only would we get to keep Rogue around, things should have played a bit more differently for V if we took the route of going solo against the corpos. So let’s tweak it.

This specific ending; it should be after getting through Don’t Fear The Reaper where you single-handedly manage to rip through Arasaka by yourself. Johnny goes back to Alt & Rogue is still alive. Yes nobody dies!!!

(honestly this ending can apply to any love interest you choose)

Vik and V are now living together in a lavish penthouse, entertaining an upcoming merc to do their work for them (which is now the current POV of the player.) You were recruited by Rogue at the Afterlife, who told you to visit this couple for a real, preem job.

They give you some vague details about the gig and go on for a brief moment about what you will be doing and what you should expect. Vik emphasizes to you that it’s important you get what they need because it’s for his wife, V, as her life depends on it.

As Never Gonna Fade Away is playing in the background, they tell you to break into Arasaka HQ.

Then the game officially ends.

[evanescentjasmine]

Writing Egypt and Egyptian Characters: Rusty Quill Gaming Edition

I’ve finally caught up with the Cairo arc of Rusty Quill Gaming, which I was anticipating and dreading both. Fiction set in my country usually reduces it to a caricature of itself, especially when it takes place in the Victorian era, but considering everything they’ve said in their metacasts I was hoping Rusty Quill Gaming was the exception.

It wasn’t. 

I’m aware the game world plays fast and loose with history and setting, but the problems in this case are more than just inaccuracies. However, because I want to help fic writers and artists be able to portray Hamid and his family well, this resource will be split into two parts. The first part will tackle details I’ve been asked about with regard to the setting; it may touch on things RQG went wrong, but I’m writing it primarily as a resource for artists and writers. The second part will be my criticism of RQG, and why I found the Cairo arc actively harmful. This includes discussions of Orientalism and some racist text.

I should also preface this by saying I’m not a historian. Everything I say in this resource is a combination of what I grew up with and what I remember from school, supplemented by Google and guesswork. I’ll be explaining my thought process throughout, which can help you see what’s actual history and what’s my extrapolation.

Part One: On Egypt

Historical Context:

Figuring out the history of Egypt in RQG terms is a bit complicated, so bear with me because this will take a while. 

In real-world history, Egypt was a Roman then Byzantine province from 30 BC to around the mid 600s AD, at which point the Arab conquest swept through and Egypt became Muslim. 

What this means is that when the Meritocrats took down Rome and took over the world, Egypt was still a Roman province. That gives us a several hundred year gap before the Arabs that may have maintained the same culture? Or morphed a little back to some pre-Ptolemaic Ancient Egyptian, given their Meritocrat, Apophis, is named after a great Pharaonic serpent?

Either way, given Hamid’s name and the fact they live in Cairo, the city built by the Arabs, we can assume the Arab conquest still happened somehow, despite having a Meritocrat in Egypt. Maybe a Meritocrat out there is Arab and settled in Egypt for a bit with or before Apophis? Maybe it took a couple-hundred years for the Meritocrats to get all the previous Roman areas under control? Maybe there was a whole war and the Arabs won and settled and eventually they got to a truce or got absorbed into Meritocratic lands?

Many Muslim dynasties ruled throughout the period from the mid 600s to the 1500s. Given the lack of Islam in this world, probably the Arabs were unified by some Pre-Islamic deity/deities and brought them over as well, because I refuse to just sweep everything under the broad Greek God rug. 

In the 1500s, another Muslim dynasty took over--this time, from outside of the country, which is why it’s considered separate from all the rest. At this point, Egypt became part of the Ottoman Empire until the 1800s, which is when the Mohammed Ali dynasty started to try and secede and rule independently. And there was a brief blip of the French occupation for two years around then as well.

And, of course, we can’t forget about British colonisation, which started in the late 1800s with a veiled protectorate.

Presumably, since France and Britain are also Meritocratic and it seems like Apophis is currently ruling, we can disregard everything from the Ottomans onward. This changes, or should change, a ton, because Ottoman rule informed a lot of things from fashion to slang to nobility and so on. 

What we’re left with is most likely a Cairo that is still Arab but with much more Pharaonic influence, as Apophis is in charge, as well as continuing Greek influence due to the Gods. I am not a Coptic Christian, so I cannot speak to how these changes in history and religions would affect the Coptic language and culture, but no doubt it would still be around.

There would also be a bigger, more long-standing connection to other Meritocratic countries. This explains why Hamid was British-educated and so many people speak such good English without a British occupation to create the power disparity that would make that necessary to rise in Egypt and such a mark of status. 

However, this presents several confusing and contradictory aspects of the world building:

Why doesn’t this go both ways? Why aren’t there people in England and France who know Arabic or are influenced by Egypt? All we get is that the Tahan family are big. That’s it. If these countries are equals, it sure doesn’t look like it.

If Apophis is pharaonic and Ancient Egyptian culture and knowledge are so ubiquitous...why would they hollow out a pyramid to put a bank inside? It’s a tomb. It’s made to bury dead kings in a way that follows possibly still-existing cultural and religious beliefs. It’s the equivalent of someone building a bank inside a mausoleum. It’s bizarre.

Relatedly, if Ancient Egyptian culture and knowledge are so ubiquitous, why is Carter mentioning the Rosetta Stone? Why would the knowledge necessary to translate hieroglyphics have been lost? 

I mention these questions so fic writers can keep them in mind while writing and, of course, it’s entirely possible to create a workaround. For example, maybe the Rosetta Stone is supposed to be translating something else, like an ancient hidden magic?

Describing Cairo:

I want to make one thing very clear: Cairo is not, despite Alex’s description, like Vegas. While we do certainly have hotels and casinos, to reduce the city to only that is very harmful for reasons I’ll go into at the end of this resource.

Cairo is a very old city with a mix of architectural styles and is very heavily Muslim in real life. In Arabic, its tagline is often “city of a thousand minarets,” so clearly RQG Cairo will be fairly different. Given Apophis’ influence, Ancient Egyptian styles might be more prevalent in Cairo, but very likely not in the form of pyramids unless those pyramids were for the dead. In real life, some buildings do incorporate Ancient Egyptian flavour, usually just in the form of lotus columns or hieroglyphs. These would only be found in public institutions, however,  or, frankly, tourist-bait. 

Residential buildings tend to be clustered very close together and, since it’s an old city, streets are crowded and winding as the city keeps building on itself and spilling out of its previous bounds. Estates do, of course, exist, but I’d suggest against using Bryn’s example of Alhambra as a setting for the Tahan home. Alhambra is a palace fortress in Spain and, although it’s Andalusian and therefore influenced by Muslim architecture, it’s very different than anything in Egypt. It’s as absurd as saying a posh British character lives in a house that’s basically Versailles and leaving it there. I’ve included images of some Egyptian residential estates below, all from the 1800s to early 1900s.

And here are some photos of Cairo in the 1800s:

As you can see, not quite Vegas.

A fic set in Cairo can certainly still have the Cairo strip with all the casinos, since that’s an aspect of canon, but a place like that would probably be geared more to tourists and foreigners than locals. So long you’re aware of this while writing, and that Cairo would exist beyond it, you should be fine. It might also be worth having characters explore the actual city.

Weather:

The stereotype is that Egypt is just hot and sand year-round. It isn’t. The further south you go, the hotter it will get, so that Upper Egypt (which is in the south, yeah), is hotter than Lower Egypt, which is where Cairo and Alexandria are. Alexandria, by virtue of being on the Mediterranean, has fairly cold (for us) and rainy winters and mild, humid summers. Cairo gets very occasional rain and has harsher summers but is also dryer.

And, of course, a thing to remember is that even in the depths of the desert, the morning might be quite warm but the night will be quite cold as well.

Sandstorm season (called khamaseen) takes place from April - May but in the middle of Cairo it’s more of an annoyance than anything else.

Language:

Since they speak Arabic, it’s important to note that spoken Egyptian Arabic is very different from written Classical Arabic. Egyptian is a mishmash of Arabic, Coptic, a bit of Greek, and a bit of French (and, in the real world, some Turkish too) all smashed together. Accents differ from city to city, and Cairene Arabic is best known for the fact we pronounce the letter jeem as geem (so all soft Gs are turned into hard Gs) and tend to replace the letter qaf with a glottal stop.

This means that a Cairene wouldn’t be called Jamal, they’d be Gamal. A Cairene would pronounce burqa as bur’a.

Since religion plays a big part in language, RQG Egyptian Arabic may be a bit different. For instance, the greeting most people associate with Arabic is “Assalam alaykum” but that’s very specifically Muslim or at least associated with Islam, and might not have been as wide-spread given...y’know, that Islam doesn’t exist. I’m not saying it’s incorrect to use, just explaining the context.

Alternatives could include “Sabah/masa’ el-kheir” which means “Good morning/evening,” and “Naharak/Naharik saeed” which is, “May you have a good day.”

Fashion:

Although this didn’t really feature in RQG, I’ve received a lot of questions about the period’s fashion and honestly it’s my favourite thing ever so I probably would have touched on it anyway. I’ll only go into broad strokes, as there are plenty of regional variations and, again, I’m no expert 

Women

Egyptian women covered their heads and sometimes their faces not out of religiosity but out of a cultural expectation of modesty. This may well have come about as a result of the Arab/Muslim cultural majority, as to my knowledge this wasn’t the case in the Greek and Roman periods, but women of all religions covered their heads so that would likely still be the case in RQG’s Arab Egypt.

This isn’t with the hijab we know today. It may have been a cloth or kerchief tied over their heads and then the melaya laf (which is larger cloth, almost a sheet) that they wrap around themselves and over their head, as follows: 

The black face-covering was called a burqa or bur’a (not the same as a Muslim burqa, which serves similar modesty functions but is a separate thing) or a yashmak and may have been opaque black, white, or netted, such as in this picture:

Underneath the melaya they would be wearing a long, loose, patterned dress:

Upper class Egyptian women tended to wear Western dresses with a white yashmak that covered their faces and heads. A yashmak is Turkish, however, and without Ottoman influence this style and name might not have caught on in Egypt.

Men

While the melaya laf and yashmak have disappeared from Egypt, the traditional men’s gallabeya and ammama, or turban, are still seen widely today. The gallabeya (or jellabiya, outside of Cairene Arabic) is a long, loose garment with wide sleeves and no collar. It’s in muted, neutral colours, usually lighter ones like white or beige in the summer and navy blue or grey in the winter. You’ll have seen examples of it in the pictures of Cairo above, and here’s another one: 

Middle to upper class men and civil servants, however, tended to wear English suits with a tarboosh, or fez. Since fezzes were also a result of Ottoman rule, RQG Egyptians might not wear them.

And yes, impressive moustaches were also very much the fashion.

Names:

The running joke is that Hamid’s name is unnecessarily long, but my name is longer, and I don’t think that’s particularly unusual. We don’t usually go around introducing ourselves with all of them, admittedly, and I’m not sure whether Hamid does this as a way to indicate he’s overly fancy or because Bryn doesn’t realise it, but four names is not long. My ID boasts five, and I know of at least one more.

Arabic naming conventions use patronymics for all children, regardless of gender. What this means is that my name and my brother’s name is identical except for our first. 

Mine is Jasmine + Dad’s name + his dad’s name + his dad’s name + his dad’s name

And my brother is also First name + Dad’s name + his dad’s name + his dad’s name + his dad’s name.

Egyptians do not typically have last names, but an important family may all choose to identify under a name and use that as their last, such as the Tahans. In my case, I use my fifth name as my last name and introduce myself in everyday life as Jasmine Fifth Name. Notably, my brother does not, and goes by First name + Dad’s name instead. This isn’t unusual. On paperwork, however, we still have the same name.

Additionally, Egyptian women do not take their husbands’ last names in marriage, nor do children take any of her names. 

I’m not sure why, according to the wiki, Hamid’s sisters seem to have taken their mother’s name. Following Arabic naming conventions, they would all be First Name Saleh Haroun al Tahan, and their father would be Saleh Haroun al Tahan. A possible workaround might be that halflings have their own naming conventions that mean daughters have matronymics and sons patronymics. 

A note to podficcers: please google name pronunciations beforehand because Alex and Bryn’s are actually often wrong. Ishak, for instance, is not pronounced Ee-shak. It’s Iss-haaq or Iss-haa’, because of quirks of the Egyptian accent I mentioned earlier.

Part Two: Criticism

I understand it can be difficult to portray a country different from yours with accuracy. I understand the RQG crew will not have had the perspective on Egypt and Cairo that I do by virtue of living here. I do also acknowledge that I’m sure none of this was actively malicious or on purpose.

But it doesn’t have to be on purpose to hurt, frankly, and given how often the RQG crew have talked about their responsibility with a game that’s intended for an audience, I expected better. Bryn has spoken about not wanting to fall into stereotypes for Hamid and, to be fair, by being a non-religious fancyboy Hamid does neatly avoid the religious zealot and the noble (or ignoble) savage routes. Unfortunately, he falls into another, which was hammered home by the portrayal of Cairo and the Tahans as a whole.

Our first glimpse of Cairo, after the sandstorm clears, describes it as “basically Vegas,” with hotels and garish casinos catering to the rich all along the “Cairo strip.” From then on, our only other images of Cairo are vast estates and a pyramid in the desert. 

The only named Egyptians we meet are the Tahan family, who are introduced through an absurdly lavish estate compared to the palace fortress of Alhambra, a gambling problem that apparently runs in the family, murder, and corruption, as the head of the family who has already covered up a crime for one son then turns himself in to protect the other.

Then, to top it all off, Hamid is apparently utterly incapable of understanding why letting his brother get away with murder is an issue until the paladins point it out.

Do you see the pattern, here?

I understand this was aiming to be a criticism of the rich and powerful, but the fact remains that the Tahans are the only representation of Egyptians we get. While this may not be harems and hand-chopping levels of Orientalism, the image presented is of Cairo as a den of excessive wealth and vice, and Egyptians as corrupt and immoral.

This isn’t new.

The Middle East and North Africa (as well as India and China and everywhere else considered “the Orient”) has often been tied to images of wealth and overt splendour, usually hand-in-hand with the Oriental despot and corruption. This view went beyond just fiction and influenced the policies with which we were ruled. 

Cromer, Consul-General of Egypt, wrote books called Modern Egypt. He had this to say about us:

“The mind of the Oriental, on the other hand, like his picturesque streets, is eminently wanting in symmetry. His reasoning is of the most slipshod description. . . . They are often incapable of drawing the most obvious conclusions from any simple premises of which they may admit the truth.”

In his opinion, our inability to follow logical reason led to us being inherently untruthful and, therefore, immoral. Similarly, British statesman Balfour was of the belief that:

 “Lord Cromer’s services during the past quarter of a century have raised Egypt from the lowest pitch of social and economic degradation until it now stands among Oriental nations, I believe, absolutely alone in its prosperity, financial and moral.”

Egypt was under British colonial rule from 1882 - 1952.

You can see, I hope, why a storyline focused on an Egyptian family’s corruption in an Egypt characterised almost entirely by its casinos and one lavish mansion was very uncomfortable. The fact Azu was one of the people trying to explain morality to Hamid keeps it from sliding into a clear East vs West dichotomy, but the fact remains this is a British show featuring British players and this is the story they chose to tell. 

The rest was just salt in the wound, really. 

I expect mispronounced names and pyramids and jokes about camels in most media, but rarely do the makers of said media then go on to pat themselves on the back for doing their “due diligence” on a metacast about sensitivity.

I see weird naming conventions and mispronounced names and “basically Vegas” and “crocodile steak” and “camel’s milk froyo” and I do not see due diligence.  

I see a setting that barely looked past Cleopatra and I do not see due diligence.

I see a storyline that shows only excess and immorality and corruption and I do not see due diligence.

I see a disregard for me and mine, and I do not appreciate it. 

Literature I’ve referred to in writing this criticism:

Orientalism (1978), by Edward W. Said

Orientalism in the Victorian Era (2017), a paper by Valerie Kennedy

Orientalism in American Cinema: Providing an Historical and Geographical Context for PostColonial Theory (2010), a thesis by Samuel Scurry 

Popular Culture, Orientalism, and Edward Said (2012), an article by Robert Irwin

[kuekyuuq]

At this point, I see things regarding Supercorp this way...

(Mxaybe... in another universe... *sighs*)

My head-canon for the show:

Lena had a crush on Kara since day one and vice versa. She tried to deny it, deny herself the ‘luxury’ of personal attachment... but Kara was quite persistent, and cute, and sweet, and warm, and such a dork, and... yeah... Lena got confused when she developed similar feelings for Supergirl, and then her disagreements with Supergirl caused her to not-like her anymore, but still felt physically attracted to her - damnit. Since oblivious Kara did not respond properly to her flirts (and they both verbally friend-zoned each other), Lena resigned to gaze and long for her in secret, thinking Kara was straight. Neither her short and tragic re-encounter with Jack - an unresolved comfort from her own past - nor her sudden enemies-to-lovers thing with James (Kara's ex of all people) could quite quench her craving for Kara's closeness and warmth or her verbal tension-filled jab-throwing matches with Supergirl. After the reveal, Lena was more hurt over her 'friend' betraying her trust, keeping a secret from her (yes, that's a double-standard, Lena! ...girl's got deeply rooted issues) than 'Supergirl' using her alter-ego to take advantage of Lena (which, hands down, Kara actually did on some occasions - so, ironically that one would have been objectively valid, but, hey, feelz shape our perspectives). She went through her lashing-out phase, only to realize she can't live without Kara in her life. And really wants to do good. Yes, that too... ...and it only took her trying to brainwash the whole world (good intentions and the road to hell) and Lex back-stabbing her a couple of times, to see the light and join the good guys for good... to be more like Supergirl, in her own small way...? Y'all know what I mean ^_- She came crawling back, continues to try hard to prove herself worthy, longingly watching on every time Kara and Alex hug, desperate to keep her sunshine-impersonated in her life, whom she truly loves, despite how much she tried to convince herself she did not...

...

Meantime, Kara is an alien (yes, I bold that, bc, people tend to not think this through). From a totally different culture and all, having suffered great trauma and entering Earth's culture during her puberty/informative years. A Kryptonian who crushed for Humans (males - James, Adam - and apparently 4 other dudes she broke the noses of when kissing) and other aliens (Daxamite Mon-El) ...uh, and even couldn't stop herself admitting how she likes how nice Lucy (female Human) smells (the most prominent other time such a statement was made, was when everybody was swooning over Kal). Who only in her adulthood realized homosexuality was even a real option, outside of high-schoolers slurring at each other. (And I am not saying, Kara is gay, as in lesbian... she incidentally spoke true when she denied that in the pilot. Repeat after me: “Kara is an alien.” ..I’d call her pan, but am also aware, that the textbook definition doesn’t include ‘all species’... so.... there’s that.) Kara, who so desperately hard tried to fit in, she got absolutely used to others telling her what she's supposed to feel and think.

...who crushed hard for Lena at first sight (possibly, also star-struck). But both Clark and Alex, her most important people to look for help, guidance and reference, told her any Luthor was bad news.

There was Mon-El, whom she didn't even like, at first. When he lied told her he wasn't in love with her, she was utterly relieved. She was all “Oh, golly. That’s unexpected and awkward. What now?!” when he confessed to her, and tried (and failed) to let him down gently. (I am actually convinced, that Kara was more ego-hurt, that he moved on to Eve so quickly, and.. where she and James ended things once Lucy was out of the picture, Kara only started thinking/feeling differently about Mon-El when he was taken... just sayin’ I maybe spot a pattern there.) But, Alex told her, that she had a thing for Mon-El and that she should give him a shot... ...even when Lena got involved with Cadmus, and Kara found herself passionately defending the youngest Luthor against ALL her friends, when she could not explain her bone-deep trust in Lena but by "I can see it in her eyes" and other instinctually tainted expressions... Well, she and Mon-El made it work, they were actually a sweet couple when they weren't butting heads... Didn't stop Kara from having mixed feelings when Lena ran into her ex. And yes, Kara did mourn Mon-El. If only for the concept of what they had together, but I do think, she did feel love for him... Me thinks, Kara would be one of the people who simply can not separate physical and emotional. So by kissing and sleeping with him, stronger emotional attachments came to be. Not to invalidate them, but... personal history is important.

....long story short, Kara kept trying not to stand out. Lived and loved on the safe-side, hurt one too many times by circumstance. And yet kept feeling drawn to Lena, kept trusting her, kept wanting to reveal herself to her - despite what everybody else said. But, emotionally and 'culturally' on the safe side.

Kara friend-zoned herself.

The reveal happened and... Lena HURT her and Kara STILL kept her hope and trust up... and while towards the end of it, being incredibly hurt and worn out, she still let Lena back in. And within 24h decided that Lena came through enough times and Kara was ready to accept her apology...

And then Lex happend (again) and Phantom Zone...

Now...

[*] My head-canon for RL:

Katie is such a natural flirt, that even though the SG writers (after introducing both Lena and Mon-El to the show) have been told "no gay Supergirl" by the CW in 2017, Melissa just never knows what hit her...

Director: "CUUUT!" Melissa: "--...wait, what? I'm married. I mean... huh?" Melissa: "Wait! We have to redo that! We were told, not to-" Katie: "To what?" Melissa: "...uh, the Supercorp-thing... you know... the heart-eyes?" Katie: "What heart-eyes?" *raises an eyebrow the typical Katie-way* Melissa: "...the... um.... you..." Katie: "Wait, did you-..?" Melissa: "Me!? Oh, no. I am married!" Katie: "What has that to do-... Are you okay?" Melissa: "Yes!" Katie: "Okay, then." *Katie swaggers off stage & hi5s one of the writers on her way out* Melissa: "...darn it." *calls Chris* "Honey, I love you." Chris: "...it happened again?" Melissa: "..." *Chris starts laughing* Melissa: "...so not funny."

So, yeah, that's where I am at. Kara friend-zoned herself and Lena is totally mush for the Girl of Steel. ...and Katie is just being Katie :)

Also, I am currently 99% sure Supercorp will not be endgame. But I would be 100% pleased to be proven wrong.

[* In all seriousness, do not bash on the actors, please. They are just doing their jobs, have a life and family, real relationships and feelings. So, my above 're-enactment' is completely fictional, purely for light-hearted entertainment and not meant to do any harm or spread any hate or to be actually transcribed onto the actual, real people. We do not really know these people! They - and the writers, too - do bring characters to life that we invest in - for that they deserve our gratitude. My gut feeling (or shipper-heart feeling?) is, they are doing their best to sneak Supercorp in whenever they can - not to bait, but because they may actually not be allowed (yet..?) to make SC text but see the same chemistry we do. Have fun, but be respectful, please! We can disagree with the CW's executive decisions - although, we do not really know what’s going on bts - and express our dismay, but do not in all seriousness spread hate.]

[sylvies-chen]

Prompt 70 for Brettsey 😍

If you can I would love a story involving Brett and Casey with one of their kids !!

Can't wait to read this

You're in luck because I'm in a big Brettsey + kids mood today (although let's be real, when am I not?) Also sidenote: I'm lowkey terrible at naming character's kids but let me know if it fits!

70. “I can’t do this on my own.”

"Daddy!"

Matt hears his daughter's frustrated call for her dad from the first floor and immediately stops what he's doing. Sure enough, when he gets to the stairwell, he sees Eleanor Casey, huddled over and fussing with her shoelaces.

Oh boy. He already knows where this is going.

Ellie's eight now and still doesn't know how to tie her shoelaces. Matt doesn't think it's that big of a deal-- getting the hang of it takes a little time, something she has plenty of since she's so young. But Ellie, for the past few weeks, has been letting it get to her more than usual. He and Sylvie have both been trying to guide her through it, to somehow make the steps simpler for her, but their daughter is as stubborn as she is kind. She gets that from both him and Sylvie, Matt thinks.

"What's wrong, do you need a hand?"

Ellie pouts, sticking out her trembling bottom lip as she crosses her arms. "My shoelaces won't do the thing," she explains defeatedly, her shoulders slumped. "This sucks."

Matt has to fight back a little chuckle at that. It's funny to him but he sometimes forgets that for Ellie, that's big language.

"Woah, now don't get so down on yourself quite yet, sweetie," Matt soothes her. "It'll be okay."

"No, it wont," she whines frustratedly. "Harper can tie her own shoelaces, and all the other kids in my class can too."

"Well Harper's a year older than you," he points out. "Auntie Stella and Uncle Sev taught her extra good."

"Well why can't you and Mommy teach me extra good? I can't do this on my own," she pouts again.

"We are teaching you," he promises her. "It just takes a little time to get the hang of it, El."

"Mommy lost her keys and can't help me right now, will you tie them for me instead?"

The young girl looks up at him with big, pleading eyes. She's mastered the same puppy dog eyes that Sylvie gets when she wants something. When it's matched with his daughter's tiny blonde braids and rosy cheeks, it makes for a pretty irresistible sight.

Well, almost irresistible.

"Why don't I help you figure it out? That way, you can do it yourself next time without help from Mommy or Daddy," he tells her gently, moving to the bottom of the stairs and getting on one knee. Ellie sits on the second step and even then, she just barely meets Matt's eye as she extends her left foot and shows him her bright pink, sparkly Sketcher shoe.

"Ok," she nods vigorously. "What do we do first?"

"We're going to take both laces," he starts, his hands guiding hers towards both end of the lace as she picks them up, "and now we're going to make a little X shape."

His hands stay hovering over hers, always guiding her gently as she follows his steps. Her shoulders relax slightly and stop slumping with each second he helps her with it.

"Now, we're going to put that guy under and pull. Think we can do that?"

"Well duh," she giggles amusedly, her teeth clenching her tongue gently as she flashes him a cheeky look. Their hands keep moving through the motions, pulling the lace through. "We did it!"

"We did, you're right," he beams. "Now we're going to make two little bunny ears and do the same thing with those. Okay?"

"Okay," she nods, her brows furrowing in concentration as their four hands keep moving. He makes one as she makes the other but after he hands her the second bunny ear, he gradually moves his hands away. She doesn't seem to notice, just keeps going by herself.

One of the loops is pulled down and under the other, then she yanks it tight and stares at her shoe in victory. Ellie's eyes go wide with excitement as she looks up at Matt with the biggest smile on her face. "We did it, Daddy! We really did it!"

"You did it, kiddo," he tells her. "I let go after the bunny ears were made."

"You wh--" Ellie looks down at her shoe, then back up at her Dad. For a minute, he thinks she's going to be upset, but a smile spreads over her face again. "Oh my gosh! Daddy, I did it on my own!"

Matt laughs at that, a true and joyful laugh that's pretty much only able to be caused by Eleanor, Sylvie, and on occasion, Severide. He might be extremely biased, but Ellie really is the sweetest thing out there. His and Sylvie's lives have become a million times better the day their daughter was born.

"Did what on your own?" Matt hears his wife's voice coming from the side of the stairs as she peeks at Matt and Ellie over the bars of the railing.

Ellie lights up and smiles at her mom. "I tied my shoelaces on my own, Mommy! Well, Daddy helped me with the first part, but then I did the little bunny ears all by myself," she explains happily.

"Wow! That's amazing, I'm so proud of you, little lamb," she coos, moving around the railing to sit next to her daughter. She grabs one of her braids playfully, then moves to tickle at her sides. Ellie giggles at the gesture, retreating back amusedly. She notices Ellie's other untied shoe though and points at it. "You've got a second foot though, silly. Think you can do that one all by yourself? Show Daddy just how strong you are?"

"Uh-huh," Ellie nods excitedly, moving to switch legs and extend her right foot. This time, Matt stands back and lets her do her thing.

He should have known before that she'd learn like this. Ellie's tough and smart beyond compare for a kid her age, but sometimes she gets too flustered and down on herself to see straight. That, Matt knows for a fact she gets from her mother. But Matt and Sylvie took vows to lift each other up, to support each other no matter what and help each other be the best versions of themselves. That applies to their daughter now too, so he's not surprised that all it took was a little confidence boost for Ellie to learn something new.

She goes at the second shoe, quietly mumbling the steps to herself as she goes through them and then sitting back in victory when she looks at the finished product. "There you go, Daddy. I did the second shoe," she announces, standing up on the step and showing him her ties shoes.

"I can see that. They look nice, you did a good job, Ellie," he beams. "If you're lucky, we might even take you to get some ice cream after school to celebrate."

"Really?" Her face lights up as she raises her eyebrows expectantly.

"You'll have to wait and see! Now come on, we need to get you to school. And Mommy can drive now that she's found her keys," Sylvie chuckles.

Ellie nods and Matt moves to pick her up. He lets out a soft grunt as her arms fly up and accept the embrace, slinging over his shoulder. He just forgets that she's growing up so fast sometimes, and that she doesn't weigh ten pounds like she did when she was just a baby.

Ellie giggles in his arms as he bops her nose once with his finger. He moves over to Sylvie though, who's already smiling joyously. It's sort of a momentous occasion for them; Ellie's been trying to tie her shoes for weeks now and the slight weight of the moment isn't lost on them.

Matt takes the opportunity of Ellie being slung over his shoulder to lean over and kiss Sylvie. Her lips drag against his slightly, and she exhales sweetly after they pull away from the kiss.

"Gross!" Ellie squeals from over his shoulder, wiggling in his arms. Sylvie chuckles, running a hand over his cheek to caress it once more before moving behind Matt to face Ellie.

"Who are you calling gross, little lamb?" Sylvie moves to tickle their daughter, who squirms in Matt's arms even more and laughs hysterically.

Matt lets them goof around for a little more before moving to the car. He knows they're going to make Eleanor late for school if they keep it up for too long but he doesn't care.

He's gotten a happy ending with the woman he loves, with their daughter. And that merits a million late slips in his mind. It's a small price to pay for a happy family.

[zemodaddy]

Shades of Him

Chapter 6

I just wanna say I’m sorry.

Warnings: violence, swearing, fluff

Word count:

Chapter 6

You follow the girl into a building which supposed to house Karli. She points to a doorway signalling that she’s just up ahead. “You got ten minutes, then we’re doing things my way” Walker pushes Zemo against a wall and handcuffs him to some kind of machinery. “Aggressive, but I get it” You try your best to ignore the urge to send Walker flying out of a window. “Go ahead Sam, we’ll stay here” you say.

You all wait in silence. Bucky and you blocking the doorway that Sam went through, Zemo restrained opposite you, Leemar was sat on a ledge and Walker kept on walking up and down. He was restless, he hated not being in control. A woman having dominance over him must irk him to the core. You smile to yourself. You look at Zemo to find him looking at you already. He tilted his head lightly, glanced at Walker, and grinned in amusement as if to say ‘what’s wrong with this guy’. You shake your head widening your smile.

Walker now walks up to Bucky and you, looking over your shoulders as if he could see through walls and see Sam. “No no no this is a bad idea” he states, walking away again. “Sit tight john it hasn’t been ten minutes yet” Bucky says calmly. “Don’t do that, don’t patronise me” what is with this dude. “He knows what he’s doing” you say. After a second Walker goes “I’m goin in”. You both stop him, yet he’s persistent. “Your partner needs back up in there, do you really want his blood on your hands?”

“Bucky really?” He had let Walker and his friend pass. Luckily you had snipped the keys to Zemos handcuffs from his pocket before he left. After discreetly tossing them to Zemo you follow Bucky after Walker. A commotion was already happening between him, Sam and Karli. Fuck. Karli looked betrayed by Sam and quickly started running for the nearest door. Bucky pushes past everyone and follows her.

“See what you did Johnny” you shout. He flings the shield at you to which you duck. He is really testing your patience. Before you could find the best way to take him out he had already disappeared after Karli. “That little git”. You run after him.

Arriving just in time, you find Zemo smashing some blue vials on the ground. Walker was taking a few swift steps towards him before lifting his shield to Zemos head. Correction, Steve’s shield. Before you could stop him he launches it. “What the hell, Walker” you rush over to Zemo who now lay on the floor. However, while examining his face for any serious damage you don’t notice Walker bending down and picking the one vial that wasn’t destroyed.

Luckily, Zemo wasn’t hurt, just knocked out. You move to Walker and as he turns around you punch him in the face. “You’re going to regret that” he says. You laugh “am I?” you summon flames into your hands, daring him to make his move. At the sight of your hands he seemed to back down a little. The others rush in. “What did we miss?”

“Somethings not right about Walker” Bucky walks into the main kitchen/lounge area. “Yeah he’s batshit crazy.” You say, earning a chuckle from Sam. Zemo was lying on one of the couches, with a wet flannel you had given him upon your return to his house on his face. “You shouldn’t have given him the shield” Bucky aims this statement at Sam. “I didn’t give him the shield.” “Well Steve definitely didn’t.” You were walking over to Zemo to check on his face when the front doors fly open. “Fucking hell”

“Alright that’s it let’s go, I’m ordering you to had him over.” Walker struts into your space. “That’s not going to happen”you say. Zemo gets up behind you and begins to walk to the outer edge of the room. “Shield or no shield the only think your running in here is your mouth” sam says. You follow Zemo and whisper “this can’t be good”. Seconds after you say this a loud thud noise sounds. A long spear had wedged itself before Walker into the wall. The Dora Milaje enter. “Release him to us now” Zemo seems to be in high demand today. “Hi, John Walker, captain America” the leader doesn’t say a word. “Well, uh let’s put down the pointy sticks” “you might want to fight Bucky before fighting the Dora milaje Johnny boo” you say. “Yeah well the Dora Milaje don’t have jurisdiction here”. Now the woman speaks “the Dora milaje have jurisdiction wherever they find themselves to be”

A fight was to be expected. Walker gave them too little credit. “We should do something” Sam voices. “Looking strong John” Bucky shouts over the chaos. You pour yourself a drink while watching everyone fight. It didn’t seem fitting to I interrupt them just yet. Bucky and Sam had now got themselves involved meaning that they’d probably need back up soon. However you hadn’t notice Zemo slip into a bathroom and lock the doors behind him, you were too focused on wondering who to help.

You decide to aid Sam in his struggle against one of the Dora Milaje. She overpowered him way to easily. After some struggling both parties stopped fighting as the leader found that Zemo had left. Somehow Bucky’s arm had been removed and was lying on the floor. They soon left leaving you all of bit dishevelled. Walker looked as if he’d dropped his favourite toy in the toilet.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El chapo” the three of you were gazing at the uncovered hole in the bathroom which Zemo had escaped through. “I can” Bucky says. “Ill follow him, you guys focus on Karli” “no” they both say at the same time. “I can track him and make sure he is secured while you guys finish the mission” there was no other way and they both knew it. “Fine, but be careful.”

You waste no time in finding Zemo. However, instead of going underground, you follow the tracker Bucky had placed on him when he first escaped from prison. He had travelled far already. By the looks of the screen in front of you he was heading for Sokovia. He knew he was being tracked, yet used his one opportunity of freedom to visit his old home. You guess it was time to ask another favour from your old friend.

“Hey Sharon its me again.” You speak into your phone “Y/n? Is something wrong” “Zemo snuck out and I’m finding him now but he’s in the air” “Do you happen to have a plane I could borrow?” You hear Sharon sigh over the phone. “Head to your nearest airstrip, ill get one ready” “Thank you so much I owe you one Sharon” “The things I do for you three” you could hear the eye roll in her voice.

As promised, you find yourself on a jet plane, heading for Sokovia. You receive an alert on your phone. It read ‘Captain America brutally murders civilian’. “What” you knew he was insane but you certainly didn’t expect this. You quickly dial for Sam. “What happened?” You couldn’t get the words out quick enough. “We went to talk to Karli but Walker followed. Leemar got killed in action and he went mad” “Shit are you guys okay?” “Yeah, Karli got away though. Have you found Zemo?” “I’m nearly at his location” “Okay, we’ll meet you there” and he hung up.

The Dora Milaje must be searching for Zemo too, so you had to get to him first. Finally, the plane lands. You knew exactly where he would be, it was obvious, you didn’t have to check the tracker. The whole of the flight you thought over some options on how to get Zemo away from the Dora. Each time you came to the same conclusion. They would never stop searching for him, not until he breathes his last breath.

You find Zemo standing in front of the memorial that was built for the grieving friends and families after Ultron. You walk next to him. “I thought you’d be here sooner” he says. You ignore him and wrap your arms around his torso. Theres no other options you remind yourself. He places his arms around your shoulders. “I can’t believe you slipped away unnoticed like that” “That house has many secret escape systems, I just used that situation to my advantage” he certainly did. You part from him a little, creating enough space for you to lean into a kiss. “Sam and Bucky are on their way here, and so are the Dora” you press your forehead against his, both your hands leant against his chest. He looks down. You don’t have the strength to look into his eyes.

“We can leave, together, right now.” You stroke the back of his head. “I know”. “Will you come with me?” You sigh parting from him a little further. “Do you trust me, Helmut?” Tears begin to fill your eyes. It felt like a million knives were stabbing into your heart. You knew what you had to do but every inch of your body told you not do it. You hug him one last time and whisper “Close your eyes”. “Why are you cry-“ “Helmut please” you cut him off. The fight against yourself was hard enough already.

He does as you say. You press a kiss between his eyebrows and slowly move way from him. You walk 3 or 4 meters before turning to face Zemo. Reaching behind your back you pull out the cold, black weapon from your strap. You hesitate before pointing the barrel of the gun towards the man you had come to trust despite his past. Your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you place a finger on the trigger. A single tear slips down your cheek as you stand there, your arm raised. Time seems to slow, it didn’t feel real anymore.

Never had you imagined it would come to this but he left you no other choice. An aircraft flies over head; Sam and Bucky must have arrived. “Y/n what are you-“ Zemo was looking at you now. You have waited too long. His eyes widen when he realises what you wanted to do.

“I’m sorry” you pull the trigger.

@killsandthrills @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @noavengers @arianalilyblack @your-pixels-are-showing @kenna-1904 @mochminnie @the-lil-spud @starssscary @safiakillspop

[foodbytesback]

The Rise and Fall of Bon Appetit

Sometimes life comes at you fast.  Sometimes, that means stories in the food industry break in such rapid succession that you have no time to blink in between.  Sometimes, it means someone found out about something racist you did a few years ago.  What happens when it’s both?  Ask the fine folks at Bon Appetit.

In recent years, Bon Appetit made a name for itself, rising from the ashes of dying print media, through its Youtube channel featuring a diverse cast of personalities.  But over the course of this past week, many of the publication’s executives have been found to foster a toxic workplace culture, rife with racism, sexism and homophobia.  

Before I get too deep (because this is going to be a long one), I feel the need to point out that while this story’s breaking happened to coincide with Black Lives Matter protests across the country and gained traction from people’s outrage towards inequality, the events that have unfolded should not be blamed on “cancel culture,” “political correctness run amok” or any other reactionary dismissal of critical thinking.  Adam Rapoport didn’t lose his job because Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter came to be because of the damage that many in positions of power like Rapoport have done in both mainstream media and society as a whole.

[Also, yes, there are going to be a lot of links to Instagram posts that have been screenshotted and uploaded to Twitter.  Clearly the real takeaway from this debacle is that I need to get an Instagram account.  Also also, thanks to Tumblr’s new rules about offsite links, you’ll have to go to my main site for the full receipts.]

Preamble

Shortly after the killing of George Floyd, Adam Rapoport, Editor-in-Chief at Bon Appetit, wrote an editorial highlighting some of the coverage they’ve given to black chefs.  Many criticized this as being superficial and performative, with others saying that BA has, on numerous occasions, shut down articles relating to black culture for not being “trendy” enough or otherwise was discriminatory towards black employees. (Also, the repeated use of “uprisings” instead of “protests” seems a little suspicious.)

An article from Eater criticized the role BA played in the appropriating and whitewashing of many cultures’ ingredients and cuisines (gochujang, Aleppo pepper, and sumac seem to be some of BA’s favorite ingredients) that had become prevalent in food media in recent years.

While it’s a fairly minor offense in comparison, it may also be worth bringing up the time Rapoport accidentally called Priya Krishna “Sohla,” the name of his other Indian employee.

Monday, June 8th

Food writer Tammie Teclemariam posted a screencap of an Instagram post made by Rapoport’s wife, which depicted the two of them donning Puerto Rican stereotypes as Halloween costumes, brownface and all.    

Many were quick to declare their outrage and demand that Rapoport either resign or be fired.  Meanwhile, Sohla El-Waylly, one of the leading stars of the Youtube channel, was one of the first BA employees to speak up, and disclosed that this kind of behavior was just the tip of the iceberg.  She said that BIPOC workers have been paid disproportionately for their work, including not being paid a per-video commission that the white stars of the Youtube channel receive. 

Molly Baz, one of the aforementioned white stars, announced that she would no longer make videos for BA until all of El-Waylly’s demands were met.  One by one, their white coworkers chimed in in agreement.  

Former staff photographer Alex Lau also wrote an extensive tweet thread about his experiences at BA, including how he had futilely tried to fix the system from within.

By the end of Monday, Adam Rapoport had resigned from his position as Editor-in-Chief.

Tuesday, June 9th  

Since Rapoport’s official resignation did little to fix many of the systemic problems in place at BA, many began to turn their attention to other senior members of the staff.

Some came for Andrew Knowlton, the Restaurant Editor, for behaviors such as gaslighting an employee for trying to bring up racist practices in the offices.

Others called out Matthew Duckor, a VP at Conde Nast and BA’s former “Head of Video” (Did a 3 year old come up with that job title?), for a series of old racist and homophobic tweets.  He tried to apologize by saying that he was young and didn’t know any better at the time, but many were quick to point out that he was, at the youngest, 20, aka for all intents and purposes An Adult when he wrote those tweets. 

Tammie Teclemariam returned to ask current and former BA employees to DM her information about Duckor that they didn’t want to go public with themselves, ranging from his hand in the aforementioned pay disparity to making inappropriate comments towards women.

Teclemariam also did even more social media muckraking and found that Drinks Editor Alex Delany had once decorated a cake to look like a Confederate flag, while others found things like a Vine where he says the f-slur and some questionable comments about women on this Tumblr.  He later deleted his Tumblr and Twitter, and issued a cookie-cutter apology on his Instagram.

She also vague-tweeted that Brad Leone, one of the most beloved stars of the Youtube channel, is “possibly not a great guy,” but later added, “don’t fret.” At that point, some began to accuse her of just trying to stir the pot.

Ultimately, Matt Hunziker, director and camera operator for Leone’s show, reported that the higher ups were ignoring the situation regarding the pay disparity, and that they were not “learning and growing.”

Wednesday, June 10th

By this point, journalists were able to do more thorough investigations and put together exposés that were more than a blurb about an accusation followed by a nut graph.

Business Insider published an article where they interviewed 14 current and former BIPOC employees of Bon Appetit.  In addition to information already discussed above, it also described events such as an incident where several BIPOC staffers were told they weren’t allowed the test kitchen. (Carla Lalli Music, the Food Director at the time, would later defend her stance in the affair on Twitter.)  Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, a black woman who served as Rapoport’s personal assistant, recalled that she would often spend her day doing menial tasks like polishing her boss’s golf clubs or trying to teach his wife how to use Google Calendar.  In another incident, Knolton called Rick Martinez a “one trick pony” for only developing Mexican recipes, which is what he was being forced to do so BA could tout “diversity” bonus points.  Martinez would also say that the magazine under Rapoport’s tenure “went from old and irrelevant and white-washed content to young and trendy white-washed content." (Martinez would also upload a more graphic description of the treatment he received  to his Instagram that same day.) Later that day, Business Insider would also report that Duckor had left the company.

Vice would liken Rapoport to Michael Scott from The Office, but noted that that kind of bumbling, endearingly insensitive bad boss archetype isn’t as charming in the real world where real employees are being affected.  Parallels were also drawn between the Youtube channel and The Office itself, stating that the “quirky workplace” facade put on in the videos helped hide the more sinister practices that lurked beneath the surface, and that the notion that they were “one big family” often pressured BIPOC into doing more than their fair share for the greater good.

Jezebel showed email transcripts where Rapoport argued the semantics of having his costume be called “brownface” when he wasn’t wearing makeup, and had to be explained to, like a child, that the term refers to the racist caricature and not the literal act of putting brown makeup on one’s face.  What a douche.

Bon Appetit published an official apology on their site, a whole two days after the controversy began.  Many believed that their empty promises of “learning from their mistakes” were a day late and a dollar short.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, former BA writer Alyse Whitney said that senior editor Andy Baraghani had, on several occasions, used his influence to undermine her efforts. Whether this had to do with racism, sexism, or just Andy being petty is up for debate, but still constitutes as unprofessional behavior to say the least.

Thursday, June 11th

As interest in the story seemed to wane for many in the industry, Claire Saffitz, arguably the face of the Youtube channel, released another statement on her Instagram.  She said that her relative silence was due to taking time to find the right words, and that the same-old promises to “learn and grow” that most had been giving felt empty and performative. Unlike many of her white coworkers, she directly apologized for being complicit in the toxic environment  and for not using her status to try to leverage even pay for her BIPOC coworkers.  

Another BA Youtube personality, Amiel Stanek, also released a statement in response to BA’s official press release, where he demanded Conde Nast to stop avoiding action by setting vague timelines for changes or making excuses for not giving BIPOC workers raises like “the money just isn’t there.”

Associate editor Christina Chaey also opened up about her experiences with being pushed into more and more videos to “diversify” them- all without compensation.  

Friday, June 12th

The biggest scandal of the day was that, as Teclemariam predicted, Brad Leone is possibly not a great guy.  A leaked screenshot of an Instagram DM showed him making callous, almost Trump-y comments regarding El-Waylly’s demand for better pay.  He also allegedly said that if Delany were to be fired (as of that day he had been sent on leave), he would quit.

Saturday, June 13th

The New York Times published an article suggesting that the issues prevalent in BA’s management may go all the way to the top of Conde Nast.  Highlights include Chief Executive Roger Lynch chastising the whistleblowers within the company for raising their concerns in such a public manner and an account of an incident where he gave his black assistant a guidebook on how to speak “proper” English.

The Sporkful released a special episode of their podcast containing interviews with several current and former BA BIPOC workers.  Nikita Richardson divulged that after she was laid off, a story she had already done all the leg work for was picked up and credited to Amanda Shapiro, a white staff writer who is now acting Editor-in-Chief in lieu of Rapoport.  Sohla El-Waylly confirmed that the self-congratulatory editorial Rapoport wrote in the wake of George Floyd’s death was the real beginning of the end, and that the racist photo was just the final straw.  She also described a company-wide Zoom meeting held after the photo began to be spread around where Rapoport issued a half-hearted apology, and began talking about how he would “fix the brand” before El-Waylly demanded he resigned.  Furthermore, she revealed that after her Instagram posts began circulating rapidly, Duckor had offered her a new contract with increased pay, but she is refusing to sign it until all BIPOC have received similar compensation.  She also said that she had a hand in the wishy-washy statement that BA had published on Wednesday, and said that it originally had taken much firmer stances on the issues but their PR office made them tone it down.  Also, she commented that Leone, for the most part, just seemed like she “genuinely think[s] [that he] just found out racism is real.”  Ultimately, she was glad that the story was getting as much coverage as it was, since it made her feel that her voice was finally being heard.

Sunday, June 14th

Baraghani released a statement on Instagram apologizing for his behavior, saying that trying to achieve his personal goals in BA’s toxic, competitive environment made him lose sight of solidarity with his fellow BIPOC.  

While that may seem like the end of the story for now, it’s important to note that, even with the resignation of two executives, nothing has truly been done to fix the systemic problems at hand.

[tempestaurora]

Hi, don't know if you're still doing this but:

2 royal + 52 Marriage of Convenience 

Eddie and Buck 911

2: Royal Au + 52: Marriage of Convenience

alright i've read like four of these in the past two days so i've been trying to think up something original

personally, i'd tell the story of the buckleys, rulers of some made up country like genovia. the buckley king and queen, phillip and margaret, had three children: daniel, madeline and evan. tragically, their eldest grew sick at a young age, and prince evan was born in an attempt to save his life (although the family would never admit that to the world); evan's spare parts, however, must have been defective, for the young prince daniel died, leaving madeline as the heir to the throne

now, here's the thing about being royal: it sucks. no one tells you it sucks, but it does, and madeline (or maddie, as she prefers) and evan know this first hand, especially as maddie grows older and has to start looking for a husband

in walks doug kendall, a neurosurgeon, and by god does the country love him

so much so that evan, once old enough, decides to start travelling, start going around the world, because it's not like he'll be missed, right? he may be the country's beloved prince evan (the brightest smile and biggest heart of any royal they've ever known) - but he's not needed for day-to-day things

so he travels, and when he does, he does it in disguise. no guards, no royal escorts, no private planes. he even goes by buck, because its easier that way - and its not like genovia is a big country, so its not like he's going to get recognised

he's on a tour of the united states when he reaches el paso, texas, where a young eddie diaz, recently abandoned and divorced by his wife, and father to a four-year-old christopher, are struggling to make end's meet

one of eddie's three jobs is as a bartender at the bar that buck wanders into

and by god can they not stop staring at each other

i mean, a hot bartender with just the right amount of stubble who holds himself with innate confidence

and a hot patron with a birthmark above his left eye and an open smile like sunshine is just flooding out of him?

they get to talking real quick

and although buck doesn't mention being a prince, he stays at the bar long enough to hear all about eddie's life and current troubles (isn't the patron supposed to vent to the bartender? buck asks. hey i listen to people vent all the time, eddie replies, it's rightfully my turn)

and well, buck has an idea - a dumb idea, because he's a bit drunk, but an idea all the same

we should get married, buck says

what

buck shrugs. if i'm hearing you right, you just got divorced, your parents are threatening to take away your child - aka the light of your life - and you need insurance and money. if we get married, you're no longer a single dad working three jobs with no insurance - i dunno man sounds like a good idea to me

and eddie's not usually one to do stupid, reckless things, and he fully expects this to backfire in a ridiculous way, but goddammit - he's twenty six, he's allowed to do dumb shit occasionally, and buck is something he definitely wants to do

it takes a few weeks (they both think the other will back out, but neither does) and buck has to get a lot of things sorted privately and quietly, especially in regards to marriage licenses and visas, but idk he's a prince he can fast track that shit, but then the two of them are getting married at a court house, with just christopher and eddie's sisters to witness

(eddie hears buck's name as evan buckley for the first time on the day they get married; he does not recognise it in the slightest. he doesn't care about royals.)

(in those few weeks, eddie is blown away (and a little in love) with how good buck is with chris; there are several near-misses with either of them shirtless, fresh from the shower, or dressed up in a suit; and at least nine moments where they almost kissed but didn't and thought the other didn't want to)

helena and ramon, by the way, are pissed

eddie is thrilled

and everything's great - buck moves into eddie's house, ending his tour of america then and there in el paso; signs lots of documents and makes lots of phone calls; listens to eddie talk about the idea of moving to LA, of being a firefighter, of doing something he's proud of

and after one night when buck carries christopher to bed and tucks him in, eddie watching from the doorway, they return to the living room for eddie to immediately kiss him

buck kisses back, of course

its the next day that the news drops: prince evan buckley of genovia has secretly married a single father in texas

eddie finds out through the newspaper. he looks between it, then buck, then it, and says: what

and buck goes for a smile and says, surprise?

eddie's annoyed for like a minute and a half, but buck is too delightful and charming to be mad at for long.

buck's parents, on the other hand - boy can they hold a grudge

the story ends like this: buck and eddie travel to genovia with christopher; they introduce him around the family, around the country, and genovia is still surprised, but ultimately endeared by the family prince evan has made for himself, unaware that it was built on a dumb, drunk idea.

(what happens when they find out? eddie asks quietly, one night. why would they find out? buck replies. we're married, eddie, and not to be embarrassing - but i've got a massive crush on you, so i'm happy to see where this takes us)

in the epilogue, buck denounces his claim to the throne to move to the usa, LA specifically, and live with christopher and eddie there. maddie follows not long after, publicly divorcing her abusive husband and needing some time away. she eventually goes back, because being a royal may suck, but she's still instilled with a sense of duty towards her people - however, when she returns, many years later, upon her parents' abdication so that she may take the throne, she brings her husband, chimney, and their daughter, jee-yun with her

by that point, of course, eddie and buck are very happy, very in love, and are no longer married out of convenience, but joy

Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

[growup-thatbeautiful]

drive is out now!! It’s a Post Season Harringrove Hurt/Comfort and I’m pretty proud of it. Read it on ao3 here or below the cut. Likes and comments are very very much appreciated :))

Billy doesn’t drive after starcourt. Something about being behind the wheel makes him sick with memories that he can’t understand. They’re abstract and totally unreliable.

But it’s kind of always been like that for him. He's used to having gaps in his memories, except most of the time it’s because of trauma. Or that’s what Joyce tells him and the rest of them whenever they have nightmares about things they don’t remember happening.

He's been living with the Byers and El. He tries to be useful around the house, doing whatever he can because he really doesn’t have anywhere else to go. It’s hard, though. It seems like everything he does, he does wrong. He never had to learn how to fold sheets or clean dishes. Not only was neil hargrove terribly homophobic, but also misogynistic, which is a word joyce taught him because she teaches all her kids that stuff. And he’s one of her kids now. So, yeah. Neil never had Billy do the chores because “he’s not a true man, but he sure as shit isn’t a woman.”

It's alarming how quickly this odd family replaces his old one. Neil seems miles away. Neil doesn’t try to look for Billy, and that’s fine as far as Billy's concerned. He's got scars to cover up the ones Neil made. no need to dwell on that when he has so much other trauma to process., right? Kind of.

He does check up on max. Asks her if neils pulling any of the shit he used to get from his dad. double checks for bruises hidden under makeup or long sleeves, and never finds any. Good.

Joyce is good. great, even. She doesn’t blame him when he breaks a dish because he heard a noise. She listens when he says he needs some alone time, and she knows when he’s just saying that. She gives good hugs and has no problem giving him Jonathan's old room to stay in while he’s off at college. leaving Hawkins behind him, calling every night anxiously awaiting the return of It. Nothing happens, and eventually they relax. Or they try to. That part of billy’s been broken for a long time, though.

So Joyce starts fading into memories of his mom, and he tries not to blame her.

Again. He's never had a great memory anyway. He does remember his mom telling him that boys don’t marry other boys when he was five and told her he wanted to marry his best friend. Then she told him never to tell his dad. It's strange, because he can’t remember her saying that she loved him, even though he’s sure she did. Did she? Huh.

At least the painful memories he gets to keep. Neil beating’s. Beating up on Harrington that night he didn’t know what was going on. The car crash before his mind was taken from him. Max’s terrible scream of “Billy” mixed in with the ear-ringing pain. Waking up in a hospital with starburst scars across his body. Skin that isn’t his. They remind him not to get to comfortable, remind him that the kindness he’s being shown isn’t well earned.

Because Billy knows he wasn’t worth those hospital bills and sleepless nights. All he’s done to the people here is hurt and scar and he’s seen them with the deepest kind of fear in their eyes. Fear because of him.

Everytime he goes down a path like this, he tries to stay clear of everyone. Because. They all tried to hide how much hurt he’s caused. They don’t blame him like they should.

He didn’t know any of them well before. But he knows El didn’t always carry around that police badge or look up at every siren, praying for a familiar face only to be disappointed and try not to show it. Because if Billy survived, couldn’t the more-deserving Hopper? Apparently not.

He knows Joyce didn’t always search for Will in every setting and have those folded up pictures of the two men that died because of all the shitty things that happened. Because she can’t stand to forget their faces or not carry that burden for just a second.

Will didn’t always get quiet every time a draft went through the room or refuse to go out that front door first. Because so many things have been ruined for him.

The rest of the kids didn’t always jump at every noise or bunch together for every corner, carrying lucky momentous and items. Because God forbid they have a break.

He doesn’t see them a lot, but Nancy and Jonathan definitely didn’t carry around an emergency kit everywhere they went, packed with medical supplies and Nancy’s choice gun. Because they’re going to be there to help if anything tries to take another person they loves away.

Some part of Billy reasons that it’s not all his fault. He wasn’t one of those scientists or government agents that started the whole thing.

But he did enough. Enough to warrant all the shit that he’s going through. It’s not the healthiest way of thinking, he’s aware of that, but it helps him get by.

No matter how hard he tries, though, there’s always someone at the house that finds him. Curled up into a ball, dry hitching sobs and no tears because “Hargrove men don’t cry.” Billy gets damn close sometimes, but the fear that Neil’s going to come out from the cracks in the wall and kick him where he lays is too real.

There are usually soft words.

“We don’t blame your here, honey. That wasn’t you, that did all that stuff. And I’m not going to let anything else bad happen to the people under this roof.” Joyce’s strong and sure voice, only breaking at the edges.

“I know what it’s like to have him control you like that. I know better than anyone else, and I know how scary it is. Mom says it’s over now, though, and I can’t feel It anymore. I would tell you first if It came back.” Will never says anything more than that, which is comforting in itself. It’s nice to have someone else.

“They lost. You’re here. I’m here. Will’s here. It is safe.” El’s statement is simple, but she makes it easy to believe.

He believes them until he gets another new memory of what he did. The Mayors blood on the floor. Heather’s petrified screams. Standing before that thing and feeling nothing but a perverse sense of but awe and, buried beneath that, a screaming sense of horror and the constant feeling of slipping in the sand.

There are times, like right now, when he doesn’t want someone to make him feel better. He wants someone who can drive him away from here and sit in an empty parking lot and smoke away the thoughts. Someone like Steve.

He would do it himself. He would. But he can’t. Can’t get over that fucking gas pedal. So he calls Steve.

They’ve done this enough times for it to make sense for Billy to have Steve’s number memorized. And his work schedule. And to know when he with Dustin or Robin or any of the others on one of those group outings Billy can’t bring himself to go to. There are too many sad faces, too many broken homes.

It doesn’t matter what he wears. It’s just Steve, and they’ve gotten past the point of caring about things like that.

Which. Is obvious to anyone who looks at Billy, not that he sees anyone. He’s lost a lot of weight. Muscles that used to be defined are gone, replaced by scars. He can’t get them back yet, because he’s not strong enough to lift any of them. And because muscles like that can hurt and hit. His eyes are surrounded by heavy bags, bloodshot and tired. The new callouses on his hands are mostly scars from anxiety ridden breakages, and the pained nails are because El wanted to try the new dark blue out. His hair is greasy and flat, nowhere near what it used to be. It hangs around his shoulders in curled waves, so far from where he used to be.

He doesn’t even try to smile to the sad reflection in the mirror.

Steve doesn’t honk when he arrives. The first time he did that and the noise sent Billy spiraling, and Steve had felt terrible, cussing up a storm that actually helped Billy out of it. Luckily, it was just Billy home and no one else was there to witness they’re collective train wreck.

Before he leaves, Billy grabs something from the bathroom and stuffs it in with the rest of the random shit he brings.

Billy slides into the passenger seat, leans his head back against the headrest, and says, “So, Harrington, how you been?”

Steve, mercifully, looks the same as always. He looks good, the asshole. It’s a relief that he’s still able to feel that fire Steve lights up. Different than all the other King’s from California. A few more scars, but they all have that. His shades are pushed through his hair, brown strands flopping over lazily.

“Same as usual, so fairly shitty and on the brink of breakdown. You?” It would be a normal conversation if Steve wasn’t completely serious, corners of his mouth only ticking up when Billy reaches over and bats at the band-aid charm hanging from the mirror. A joke from Billy to say sorry for, you know, almost beating him to death for no real reason.

“Oh, you know.” He doesn’t need to say more for Steve to get the idea. It’s the same way they’ve been feeling for months now.

“Yeah.” The car ride over isn’t far from the Byers’ house, and they spend it in almost silence. Some pop station is playing low on the radio.

“This the shit you listen to, pretty boy? I expected more than this.” It’s an attempt at normalcy, something that they’ve slowly been working up to.

“At least I don’t blast out my eardrums every time I want to listen to music,” replies Steve quickly, smile evident in his tone.

And it’s normal. It’s them. The way they were before it all got so messy. For that brief moment, there’s no winter night or july 4th. For a brief moment Billy can entertain a reality where he went to the find Steve instead of a fight. A world where Steve, with those pretty eyes and snap remarks, could hold his hand and stop him from doing all the bad things in the future.

But the moment passes. Steve clears his throat and looks forward at the road.

They arrive to the quarry, water at the bottom glinting, tossing, teasing. The car doors slam shut, and they slide up on to the front of the car. Billy pulls his last minute grab out of the bag and hands it to Steve.

“I want you to cut my hair.” Steve takes the scissors and towel in his hand, looking at Billy.

He doesn’t ask if Billy’s sure. Billy figures that Steve knows at this point he wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t real. If Billy wasn’t sure. Steve cards a hand through Billy’s hair. It feels. Good. Real good.

Steve starts cutting, and Billy winces at the sound of the scissors closing around his hair. His past.

“I like to think it isn’t just part of me.” The comment comes out of nowhere, surprising Billy more than it surprises Steve.

“What?” Steve’s voice is calm, the sniping of the scissors is methodical.

“The anger. The aggression. The tendency to hurt. I like to think it’s not in my nature, but my nurture.”

“I don’t think you’re violent.” It’s a laughable statement.

“You’re joking. Did you forget most of last year? I’m the one with the bad memory here, Harrington.” Billy can practically hear Steve’s disapproving mother’s frown behind him.

“That wasn’t you.”

“Right, sure, whatever, bullshit. But what about…you know. Last winter.”

“What happened before that?” asks Steve patiently.

“Jesus, you’re worse than Joyce. My dad sent me after Max. Found her at Byers’ place with you. Hurt you a whole fucking lot.”

“Is that all he did? He just told you to go after her?” Billy ignores the way his stomach does flips when Steve runs a hand through Billy’s hair, straightening it out.

“So you’re my fuckin’ therapist now? What do you want me to say? He kissed my head and sent my on my merry way? That’s now how he works. I’ll admit, I was saved by his new wifey. He can’t use me as a punching bag when she’s standing right there, not like he did with mom. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Nothing worse than what you’ve done to me. And the insults weren’t too bad either. He forgot to call me a fag.”

“Oh. Shit, Billy, I-“

“It’s fine,” cuts in Billy, hating the pity in Steve’s voice. He’s not the one who should have it.

“You didn’t deserve that.” This time it does make Billy laugh. It’s a hollow and haunting sound, an echo of his charming boyish laugh.

“Sure I did, dipshit. You’re probably one of the people who knows best why I did, in fact, deserve it.”

“So then I’m the best person. to tell you that you aren’t that person. You haven’t been that person since you left him and all of that shit. Let me ask you something. Do you want to hurt people now?”

“No!” Billy startles himself with his sudden enthusiasm, and Steve jumps a little behind him. Steve is quicker to recover, though, and he runs a hand through the hair he hasn’t cut yet. It’s soothing. Billy barely resists the urge to lean into it. Ask for more.

“Did you ever want to hurt people? Like really, truly want to see them hurt?” Billy has to think about the question. Steve deserves an real answer.

Flashes fly through his mind, bringing on too familiar emotions. Anger, a need to make someone, anyone, feel the way that he’s feeling. Fear that not having this power over people would make him weak. Horror at what he’s about to do. Detachment, painful as he grinned and laughed.

“I just wanted to have control. Take some of the hurt I was feeling and give it to other people. It was a rush that I was addicted to. The thrill of the fight, the feel of flesh against my fist, the look of blood on my knuckles. I liked fighting, still do. I didn’t like hurting people.” Steve puts the scissors down on the car hood, fluffing Billy’s hair and sliding down next to him.

“I’ve been on the wrong side of the fists of two people I’m now okay with,” admits Steve. “Believe me, I know now to take a beating. I’ve been heartbroken by two other people I’m close friends with. I forgive too easily.”

“So you’re a compulsive truster and I’m a compulsive fighter. What a pair we make, huh Harrington?”

“Yeah.” agrees Steve, bumping his shoulder against Billy. “What a pair.”

Maybe it’s the haircut. Maybe it’s the sunlight confessions. Maybe it’s how carefree and happy Steve looks. But Billy feels lighter. Like there was this unspoken weight he had been carrying around that no one knew about. Or everyone knew about, but couldn’t help.

The thing is, Steve didn’t even say anything. He didn’t promise a better future, he didn’t say that he was safe. He shared some of the personal pain they all carry around.

“I don’t think I ever said sorry. I am sorry, you know. I. I didn’t-“

<i>Mean to hurt you. Want to hurt you. Mean to let you see how much I hurt. Want to need you.</i>

“I know. I’m sorry too. Someone should’ve known. About you.” Steve leans closer, and Billy chalks it up to the night chill as the sun settles below the glistening rocks.

“I was good at hiding things I didn’t want people to see.”

“Yeah, well you’re not alone there either.”

“You good at hiding, pretty boy?” Billy’s eyes flick down to Steve’s lips, and, is Billy imagining it or is Steve looking at him the same way?

“Apparently not good enough,” jokes Steve. His smile falls off of his lips, and he leans minutely closer. If Billy wasn’t paying attention to all of Steve…

The way his hair glows white and gold in the sunset. That wrinkle between his brows. The way one of his eyes is a little darker than the other. How he smells like cigarette smoke and that fancy hairspray, even when his hair is blown from the wind.

The way he looked that night. Cool and collected, then terrified and fighting for his life. So beautiful in the harsh starlight and then so abstract in the broken kitchen light.

Before he knows what’s happening, Steve is filling that gap. Kissing Billy like he’s trying to sooth the pain from their past. Maybe he is. Billy wouldn’t put it past him.

His hand finds a way to Steve’s hair, the same way Steve’s been running his through Billy’s now shorter hair. He curls it into the strands, holding on tightly. Soft.

The way Steve sighs his name takes Billy away from it all. The pain. The memories. The lack of memories.

They lay out under the stars for a few minutes, but Billy knows Joyce will freak out if she can’t find him. Not because she doesn’t trust him, he has to remind himself, but because she doesn’t trust others.

On the drive home Steve plays that pop stuff again, and Billy gives him the appropriate shit for it, a smile on his face the whole time. His fingers laced through Steve’s.

They arrive at the house, and Steve declines to come in. Gives the excuse that his parents will be waiting up when they both know it’s not true. Billy can’t blame him. Billy understands needing to be alone, needing to get away.

Billy leans through Steve’s window and wished that he could kiss him goodbye. Well. The teasing will have to do.

“Night, King Steve.”

“Goodnight, Asshole.”

If Joyce gives him a knowing smile at the door, Billy doesn’t smile back. Probably.

He definitely does. Maybe he deserves the smile. If Steve thinks he does.