#i should do more kota ibushi posting

[bisexual-kane]

So, some insight about why so many older dudes on Reddit and such viscerally hate the Young Bucks is that the Young Bucks make them feel stupid and uncool.

Like, even as late as the 1990s, even when wrestling was the most popular thing during the Monday Night Wars and the Attitude Era, you would still get people who would laugh at you for being a wrestling fan because, dur, don't you know it's FAKE???

So part of the response to that is to insist that you're not a mark, you're a smart fan, someone who is hip to how the business works. Instead of getting caught up in the magic of kayfabe, because you're too smart for that, you analyze matches and assign them star ratings based on performance. You cheer the heel because you get they are putting in the work to add heat to the match. You obsess over TV ratings. You speculate on where storylines should go to build heat. You insist you know better ways to get people over and complain that Vince or Bischoff or Russo is not using someone who is so obviously the next big thing correctly.

It's very much an "I Enjoy the Muppets on a Much Deeper Level Than You" vibe.

But the most important thing of all, though, is that you must always be one step ahead of the wrestlers, bookers, and storytellers. See, you're a smart fan. So you must never, ever, get worked. Because that would be very uncool and lame.

And that's where the Bucks come in.

Maybe it's less obvious now, but after the Bucks left TNA/Impact, part of their brand was to very specifically get heat from all of us dorks on the Internet. These "smart" fans are the ones who are most likely to be going to PWG shows or following NJPW. So how do you get heat in your match? You have to piss off the smart marks.

I think the most obvious example is the Superkick Party. The Bucks start absolutely spamming a move that is usually a protected finisher. They get accused of exposing the business. They are upsetting people who obsess over start ratings and post on Reddit. But they are doing a classic heel move--they are working the audience. And of course, this pisses these people off even more because it reveals that they aren't as "smart" as they think they are. Which just builds into the Bucks' heat even more.

It's why they named their finisher the Meltzer Driver.

It's why they stole the NWO's "Too Sweet" and DX's "suck it."

It's why Matt Jackson kicks out of everyone's finisher like he's John Cena or Roman Reigns despite looking like a doe-eyed pretty girl.

It's why the Bucks became such successful independent wrestlers that they were able to build the second most-successful wrestling company in North America on the back of their YouTube vlog.

But again, the main people they are working are dudes who hate getting worked. And the Bucks are very good at this.

Just, as a personal anecdote, The Bucks are one of my favorite tag teams ever (if not my number one). At their Revolution 2020 match against Hangman and Kenny, I was in the crowd, and I was cheering for the Bucks. But then they grabbed Kenny's arms--Kenny who is supposed to be their best friend, Kenny who they didn't really have an issue with--and they hit him with the Golden Trigger--Kenny's finisher with his soulmate Kota Ibushi. The crowd turned. I turned. I was so infuriated at them, and I realized--they totally got me. For a great moment, I believed wrestling was 100% real, and I hated them so much, and the magic was there, and it was awesome.

Because, actually, it's not more fun to be smarter than the magician. It's not better to be cynical. It's actually pretty cool to not understand how the trick works, to get caught up in the wonder and possibility that just maybe magic can be real.

Wrestling is more fun when you get worked and let yourself enjoy it.

And the Bucks are always working this certain set of fans that are trying aggressively to not enjoy wrestling, not get sucked into it, to show that they are "too cool"--but the Bucks actually reveal that isn't the case. They are marks just like the rest of us. And they hate that.

But, yeah, TL;DR: The Bucks are amazing at specifically working Internet fans for heel hit, but these fans need to prove they are "too smart" for that. But the Bucks are smarter than them, so it makes them feel stupid. Hence all the outrageous hate.

[valkyrie-night-103]

For the WIP ask game:

- for gods sake USE YOUR WORDS

This is an interesting one- I’ll let what I have written for this au/ship speak for itself. I haven’t got much for this one, but I hope you enjoy!

Set in the early days of AEW, post Jericho cruise, pre stadium stampede. Kota Ibushi went with Kenny to AEW, pretty much everything else is the same. I’ll put it under the cut, not because of content warnings or age rating or anything, I just don’t want people to be forced to scroll past it all

“If you’re hot and bothered enough to wax poetic about this dude’s ocean eyes on my sofa-” Cody starts, eyes practically rolling out of his head.

“I didn’t say anything about the ocean!” Adam defended.

“Either way,” Cody sighed. “Pining isn’t gonna get you anywhere, is it?”

“You don’t get it.” He huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

“What don’t I get?”

“It’s not just one guy.” He explains. “They kind of come as a pair, and I really like them both.”

“Matt and Nick?” He asked, and Adam shot him a glare. Cody chuckled and relented.

“Fine, fine. If it’s not them, who is it?”

Adam gave him a long look. He can pinpoint the moment that it dawns on him. It takes longer than it should, he’s been tagging with Kenny while Kota recuperates his neck injury, and he’s become rather close with them both. They even invited him over a couple times. He tried excuses, but they wore him down even quicker than they would in the ring.

“I see.” Cody says, nodding for a few moments before looking confused, then more than a little amused. “And your first thought was to come to me? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have the best track record in that department.”

They both know it, but they also know that it’s not like Adam had a ton of options. The silence is long and thoughtful and only a little bit awkward.

“You do know that everyone is a little bit in love with Kenny, right?” Cody remarks, as if Adam doesn’t already fucking know that. Matt hangs off his every word, Nick would follow him to the ends of the earth. “Kota too, in fact. That’s just a normal response to them, I think.”

Adam shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. He’s already said way too much.

“It’s never going to happen, you know.” He says. “Love is blinding, and those two see nothing but each other.”

He knows Cody is right. Hell, the man knows it first-hand. Anyway. Why would they ever want someone like him, when they already have each other?

“I know, I know. But back to my question, how do I get over it?”

“I’m assuming psychosexual mind games aren’t an option for you?”

“Fuck you.” He huffs, begrudgingly sipping his drink.

[sybilius]

Musty wail *shrug emoji*

cackles, regrettably, I'm Disco Elysium trash now (and possibly a little bit wrestling trash??? who knew)

[mitchtheficus]

A Golden Lovers Timeline

PART 20: WE CAN’T TRUST THIS GUY

So rewinding back to February 2018, Ring of Honor (the second biggest north american wrestling promotion before AEW debuted on the scene) announces that Kenny Omega will be facing Cody Rhodes in a singles match for the first time ever at Supercard of Honor (ROH’s Wrestlemania weekend event, set for April 2018)

Cody is very much looking forward to it, and he really wants Kota to be there, for sadism purposes

[ID: gif of Cody giving a promo to a camera, wearing a green suit. He says “Go ahead and bring Kota Ibushi with you, because I want to see his face. I want to see the look on his face when he sees you in pain.” End ID - Feb 27 LINK]

(lucky for him, March 15th 2018 Ring of Honor adds Kota Ibushi vs Hangman Page to the show’s card)

all this is why, while Kota is bonding with his in-laws during the NJ Cup, Kenny is spending his March in America, promoting on ROH and continuing his feud with Cody

(he starts off his US residency by liking this tweet calling the GLs’ wrestling story as a “queer storyline”)

Kenny decides to infiltrate the ROH bullet club by dressing up as Bury the Bear, an unloved corporate mascot that Cody has been trotting out as part of his utterly misguided bid to secure his place as CEO of bullet club

In a scene from the now deleted BTE ep 96, Kenny goes to the bucks’ dressing room while wearing the full Bury costume and tries to reveal himself to the bucks, trying once again to reach out and make amends before their Strong Style Evolved match, but he’s prevented from doing so by the entrance of Page

[ID: gif of Bury the Bear trying to remove his head while the bucks look on with confused expressions on their faces. Before Kenny can remove the head, Page comes into frame. End ID]

Afterwards Kenny goes to the ring as Bury and attacks Cody

[ID: picture of Kenny standing in the ROH ring, wearing the Bury costume but with the head taken off, grinning down at Cody. In the audience behind him, men are freaking out. End ID LINK]

He is then forcibly kissed by Brandi Rhodes, who proceeds to accuse him of faking his love for Kota and wanting *her* instead

[ID: Brandi delighted yells: “you’re a fraud! Go tell Ibushi you LIKED IT” while Kenny looks bemused with red lipstick smeared across his mouth. End ID LINK]

This is something that the Rhodeses will say over and over throughout their conflict with the GLs: that the lovers’ romantic love for each other is a publicity stunt for attention and nothing more

[ID: picture of Cody in the post-match comments, covered in his own blood, shouting “I CALLED OUT THEIR PUBLICITY STUNT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT WAS!!!!!” End ID. LINK]

after all, if Kenny or Kota were capable of romantic love, wouldn’t they be in love with Cody and Brandi?? Really makes you think.

So i should probably mention here that there was a time when Kenny and Brandi were kind of sort of friends on BTE and Kenny was using this to make Cody extremely jealous by deliberately suggesting something untoward might be going on

All this probably had some bearing on Cody’s own choice to target Kota in the bizarrely sexual way he did, a thought process you can see Cody trying to assign to Kenny after the Brandi/Kenny kiss, when the initial tactic of using it to drive a wedge between the GLs fails

[ID: gif of Cody speaking to the camera. He says: “You kiss my wife because I kissed your man?! Is that what this is about?!” End ID. LINK]

Kenny brings up that supposed relationship with Brandi in his promo the night after the kiss [LINK] leading to a pull apart by security and the bullet club, including the young bucks. (as with so many ROH tv things, i’m not 100% sure when this incident is supposed to have taken place canonically, because ROH pre-tapes their tv show, but it was filmed in mid-march, pre-Strong Style Evolved) Cody pushes Matt into Kenny, things escalate and Nick forces himself between them. Matt walks away, and Nick follows him

[ID: gif of a fans video of nick climbing out of the ring, making kind of regretful/apologetic body language to Kenny who is trying to speak to him. End ID]

Strong Style Evolved happens (March 26), and afterwards everyone goes back to Japan for NJPW’s next big show: Sakura Genesis (April 1, 2018)

The Lovers have a tag match that night against Cody and Hangman [LINK]

Cody is a psychosexual disaster as usual

[ID: gif of Cody grabbing Kenny by the hair, tilting his head up, and pressing a gentle kiss to Kenny’s forehead. End ID]

and this match has one of my favorite Don Callis moments. he tells us on commentary that cody cares for no one, but Kenny “cares deeply for Ibushi” and that Cody will likely attempt to use that love against Kenny

Callis: He knows if he hurts Ibushi, he hurts Kenny

Rocky: That's pretty sick, man.

Callis: It's very sick! It's like going after someone's family! It's like going into someone's house and terrorizing their wife or their husband!

This is also something that I think is important to point out too, bc Cody and Brandi spend a lot of time telling us that the lovers’ feelings for each other aren’t real, but neither of them ever acts like they believe that. Everything they do presupposes and relies on the lovers’ feelings for each other being real. When they call the GLs’ love a publicity stunt, we the audience are always meant to understand that they are lying to us

Late in the match, right when hangman has kenny spread out on a table, ready for Cody to jump on him

the bucks come out

Cody tries to get them to take his hand, but despite his apologies post-Strong Style Evolved (ep 98), the bucks turn their backs on him in disgust

The match continues and Cody gets busted open, and the same way that his bleach blond hair and his ugly american flag pants tell you about who he is, the way he wears the blood is another character choice. This is very much not a babyface busted open and bleeding. He makes the blood a part of his monstrousness.

[ID: gif of Cody bleeding from around his eye, the blood has gotten all over the top of his face and he makes this evil lizard face and idk it looks cool. End ID]

Cody and Hangman cheat outrageously and win, then grab Kota again and try to re-enact New Years Dash

[ID: gif of Hangman holding a kneeling Kota still while Cody raises a chair above his head, reading to strike Kota. At the last minute Kenny manages to get to his feet and he grabs the chair and pulls it out of Cody’s hands. End ID]

but Kenny is there to save him once again

In the post-match comments the lovers apologize for letting down their fans, but you can tell that the joy of being together trumps the way their bodies are hurting and the disappointment of losing

[ID: three gifs of Kenny and Kota looking sweaty and exhausted in the post match comments. Kenny says “I’m sorry guys, for letting you down. But there’s a bright side, this time our tandem moves were perfect.” Kota puts his hand on Kenny’s knee and says “we were perfect.” End ID. LINK]

They assure us that they’re just getting started

Cody has some words for the GLs as well

[ID: two gifs of Cody in the post match comments speaking to the reporters and Hangman. He says: "Kenny gets with his ex-boyfriend- when you get with your ex it's never like it was the first time.” Hangman smiles and shakes his head. End ID. LINK]

After the match Cody talks to the bucks, apologizes for the way they’ve been placed in the middle of this feud, and assures them that after Supercard of Honor the shit between him and Kenny will be laid to rest for good

[ID: picture of Cody talking to the young bucks in BTE ep 99. Cody says “I’ts about one match and that’s it.” Matt says: “That’s it, huh?” and Nick says “The fighting’s done?” And Matt says: “It’s been two or three of the worst months of my life, is this finally it? After your guys’ match, that’s it.” End ID. LINK]

But Cody’s shit isn’t working the way it used to. The bucks have seen too much of his true face at this point to just let it go.

and Nick finally tells Matt how he feels about Cody. 

[ID: gif of Nick saying: “[Cody] had a little speech with me, he was trying to convince me to become a singles wrestler.” Matt goes: “Wait wait wait-” and Nick says: “It’s not just that. He pretty much kicked Kenny out. He’s not the leader.” End ID. LINK]

he hates Cody’s attempts to get between the bucks themselves (suggesting they try out singles competition - BTE 97) and he hates the way Cody tried to kick Kenny out of the bullet club, not only because Kenny is their friend but because the right to kick someone out of the bullet club belongs to the bucks

and finally they discover that Cody is trying to change the bullet club logo without even consulting them

That’s three things you don’t do. You don’t fuck with Kenny, you don’t fuck with the bucks’ tag team, and you don’t fuck with their ability to sell t-shirts

Nick’s reached his limit, and finally finally Matt sees that he’s right.

[ID: gif of Matt looking at his phone, it has the edited BC logo that Cody made, that incorporates Cody into the logo. Nick says “We can’t trust this guy.” And Matt covers his face and says “My god, I think you’re right.” End ID. LINK]

[PART 21] [ALL PARTS]

[gdwessel]

G1 Climax 31 Night 1 - 9/18/2021; Suzuki v. Gresham Main Events GCW Highest In The Room, Suzuki v. Nick Gage on 10/23/2021; Suzuki/Archer v. Mox/Kingston Moved to Rampage on 9/24/2021, Made Lights Out Match

The 31st edition of G1 Climax began today, with a show you can see now on NJPWWorld. 

G1 Climax 31 (All events on NJPWWorld) - 9/18/2021, Osaka EDION Arena

SHO [Bullet Club] d. Ryohei Oiwa (Snake Bite, 6:08)

G1 Climax 31 A Block: Yujiro Takahashi [Bullet Club] d. Kota Ibushi (Big Juice, 11:31)

G1 Climax 31 A Block: Great O-Khan [United Empire] d. Tanga Loa [Bullet Club] (Eliminator, 17:45)

G1 Climax 31 A Block: Toru Yano [CHAOS] d. KENTA [Bullet Club] (Whole Roasted KENTA, 11:07)

G1 Climax 31 A Block: Zack Sabre Jr. [SZKG] d. Tetsuya Naito [Los Ingobernables] (YES! I AM A LONG WAY FROM HOME, 27:05)

G1 Climax 31 A Block: Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] d. Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS] (Last Of The Dragon, 27:45)

Shingo said that there have only been two previous reigning champions who won G1 Climax, so the 3rd IWGP World Heavyweight Champion should be the 3rd champion to win G1. Here’s hoping! The fact Kota Ibushi lost on Night 1 to freakin’ Yujiro doesn’t inspire me that they aren’t going to have Ibushi win the block now, however. A lot of new finishers, and finisher names, are showing up in this show, including from the newly heel SHO. Great O-Khan gets the win in his debut G1 Climax match, beating fellow debutant Tanga Loa. It’s Toru Yano Season again!

Attendance did not crack 2000 in a 8000-capacity building. Even in these times of lowered attendances due to COVID-19, that is not great. NJPW have some work to do to get interest in their product heightened once more.

Current A Block standings:

O-Khan - 2pts (1W 0D 0L) Sabre - 2pts (1W 0D 0L) Shingo - 2pts (1W 0D 0L) Yano - 2pts (1W 0D 0L) Yujiro - 2pts (1W 0D 0L) Ibushi - 0pts (0W 0D 1L) Ishii - 0pts (0W 0D 1L) Loa - 0pts (0W 0D 1L) KENTA - 0pts (0W 0D 1L) Naito - 0pts (0W 0D 1L)

Last night in LA, Minoru Suzuki defeated Ring of Honor’s Jonathan Gresham in the main event of Game Changer Wrestling’s Highest In The Room event. I don’t know how the match was as I knew I wasn’t going to last until 1am Chicago time to see it, so I’ll catch this later on today on FITE TV (about $15 too). Post-main, however, GCW’s icon Nick Gage (MDK All Fuckin’ Day!) challenged Suzuki for the previously unannounced GCW show on 10/23/2021 in LA, so I’ll add that one to the itinerary. That match could be for the GCW Heavyweight title too, if Gage manages to beat Jon Moxley for the title on 10/9/2021 at GCW’s show in Atlantic City, NJ, that night. [EDIT: It looks like GCW’s Josh Barnett’s Bloodsport 7 will happen on 10/22/2021 now as well, so I am SURE Suzuki will be on that, but no official card announcements yet.]

If you are into GCW’s normal deathmatchy fare, they are running a show for free on their YouTube channel, GCW v. FIST Combat, from San Diego, CA, although I can’t seem to find a time for that show. I am going to guess it’ll be 8pm PDT, but check the link later I guess.

On the subject of Suzuki and Moxley, last night on AEW Rampage, it was announced that the tag match between Mox & Eddie Kingston v. Suzuki & Lance Archer that was set for Dynamite on Wednesday, will now be on the special 2-hour Rampage on Friday 9/24/2021. Suzuki is already booked for GCW that night, in NYC (a date I erroneously listed as 10/24 in the subject of last post, oops), but I am thinking this is a taped Rampage, happening after Dynamite Wednesday, as I don’t think even Tony Khan can rent the Arthur Ashe Stadium for two nights. 

The match has also been made a Lights Out match, which means it’s “unofficial and unsanctioned,” and doesn’t go on AEW’s (completely worked) win-loss records. Lights Out matches tend to go a bit more hardcore than most in AEW, and also is rarely used; I think this will only be the third or fourth one in the company’s history. And they’ve all been very good matches so far, especially Thunder Rosa v. Dr. Britt Baker, DMD, earlier this year on Dynamite. It also means this match will be the main event on next week’s edition of AEW Rampage, so hey, that’s cool too!

Tomorrow’s show starts B Block matches for G1 Climax 31, including the 5th meeting between Hiroshi Tanahashi v. Kazuchika Okada in G1 Climax. Later tonight at 8pm EDT / 7pm CDT on NJPWWorld is the new “season” of NJPW Strong, beginning the cycle of Fighting Spirit Unleashed shows taped back on 8/16/2021 from Long Beach, CA. 

- 9/19/2021, Osaka EDION Arena

Kosei Fujita v. SHO [Bullet Club]

G1 Climax 31 B Block: YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] v. EVIL [Bullet Club]

G1 Climax 31 B Block: Jeff Cobb [United Empire] v. Chase Owens [Bullet Club]

G1 Climax 31 B Block: SANADA [Los Ingobernables] v. Tama Tonga [Bullet Club]

G1 Climax 31 B Block: Hirooki Goto [CHAOS] v. Taichi [SZKG]

G1 Climax 31 B Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi v. Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS]

[enby-ring-rat]

Meet the blogger ✌🏻

Hey y’all. My name is Aiden. I’m a twenty something trying to survive grad school. Sometimes for catharsis I wrestling things.

My pronouns are they/them or fae/faer. I’m a raging queer. I’m also a sex werker. Also 420 friendly. Due to this and the fact that most of the wrestling things I write are porny this blog is 18+.

I have far, far too many things on my plate in the real world outside this app to argue with anyone here. This is downtime for me. Feel free to see yourself to the door.

If you like my writing and want to submit a request feel free to. I’ll write for most wrestlers, and pretty much any k!nk or scenario (this a k!nk positive space, as well as an angst AND fluff positive space lmao). I will do my best to put triggers or tags on everything. If I miss something hmu and I’ll add it. Within reason. I will not trigger warning identities (like queer).

As a queer nonbinary person it should go without saying that things like transphobia (including TERFs and trumeds/truscum), queerphobia, aphobia, etc. will not be tolerated. Nor will racism, sexism, whorephobia, fatphobia, ableism etc.

Uuuuuuh, some of my favorite wrestlers are triple h, Shawn Michaels, edge and Christian, Molly Holly, Luna Vachon, Kenny omega, Kota Ibushi. I like a bunch of different eras of wrestling. Some of my personal favorite k!inks are daddy kink/ddlg/ddlb/age regression/age difference, Dom/sub dynamics, bratty subs, hair pulling, degradation, super tender emotional eye contact in missionary position. I also personally like to write queer characters as well so if you’ve got headcanons about queer wrestlers or wrestlers having queer partners please do share.

If you have any headcanons or thoughts on some scenario that you want to share I’d love to hear them.

I think that’s it. If you have any questions about me I’m a pretty open book. Again. Within reason. I made some more picrews of me that I’ll post so you an idea of what I look like. I’ll tag it as “it me”

Have fun 🌸

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax 30 preview

This is New Japan Pro Wrestling’s annual heavyweight singles tournament, scheduled for 19 shows between September 19 and October 18.  The winner receives a trophy and a contract for an IWGP heavyweight championship match at Wrestle Kingdom on January 4.  Whoever holds the contract is expected to defend it in singles matches, sort of like a championship.  If the IWGP heavyweight champion himself holds the contract, he may name his own challenger for January 4.

The G1 is a 20-man round-robin tournament, split into two blocks of ten men.  Each participant has a match against every other man in his block.  That works out to 45 matches in A Block and 45 matches in B Block.  Points are awarded for each block match, and whoever has the highest score wins the block.  The A Block winner then meets the B Block winner in the final on October 18, to determine the winner of the entire tournament.

Each match is worth 2 points--the winner gets 2 and the loser gets 0.  A 30-minute time limit draw awards 1 point to each participant.  I could do a deep dive into scoring and potentially complicated tiebreaker scenarios.  But through the magic of pro wrestling, scoring is mostly straightforward, and usually each block comes down to two guys who just happen to face each other in the deciding match in the last round.  So I’ll go over the three final shows (October 16-18) in more detail when we get there.

Western wrestling fans are more accustomed to single-elimination tournaments, so newcomers might find the G1 Climax a little confusing and arduous.  It’s nineteen shows, all in one month, with ninety-one tournament matches.  The story is mostly told in the ring, with few if any angles.  And it’s fairly predictable, so a cynic could just skip to the last few shows without missing a lot of bracket-busting surprises.  The actual point, though, is match quality.  Every participant wants to deliver their personal best performances of the year, so you’re kinda guaranteed about a dozen four-star matches.  Besides, it’s perfect entertainment for staying at home binging TV--I have been going nuts waiting for this since the pandemic started.

Let’s take a look at the participants...

A Block

Jay White - The leader of Bullet Club and a former IWGP heavyweight champion.  White has been the de facto top foreigner since Kenny Omega left.  Prior to that New Japan kind of had a “Big Four” (Okada, Tanahashi, Naito, and Omega) that would be heavily favored in big events like this.  Now it’s more of a “Big Five” (Okada, Naito, Tanahashi, Ibushi, and White), and I would argue White just barely makes the cut by virtue of being the top heel and the biggest dick in the company.

Other than a couple of matches for New Japan’s LA-based show, White has been out of action since February.  I actually almost miss the bastard.  Before he left it felt like questions were brewing about KENTA eclipsing him as the biggest dick in Bullet Club.  While they were both away, Bullet Club reorganized around EVIL as the dickiest dick that ever dicked.  I smell a very slow burn storyline.  Since White’s not in the same block as the others, we probably won’t see him meet Evil or Kenta during this tour.  But I expect it will be very interesting which of the posts the best performance.

White’s style is to counter offense, often by going limp on the mat to prevent an opponent from hitting a signature move.  He’s honed this into some very solid chickenshit heel work that gets massive heat from the crowd, but I’ve found it incredibly tedious to sit through.  His matches with Okada, Ibushi, and Ishii will probably be heavily promoted as main events, but I’m more curious to see how his shenanigans will mesh with Taichi, Will Ospreay, and Minoru Suzuki.

Jeff Cobb - He’s a free agent, although it’s been strongly rumored that he’s about to sign with somebody and it’s probably going to be New Japan.  Because of the pandemic, there are a lot of hurdles for non-Japanese wrestlers to come in for a tour, so I’m pretty glad this absolute unit made it in.

Cobb was in last year’s G1, but many of his opponents this year weren’t in his block last time, so he’s got a lot of fresh matchups.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Cobb vs. Okada, Cobb vs. Ibushi, or Cobb vs. Suzuki.

The big issue for Cobb is that he ought to do better than his 8-point performance in last year’s tournament.  To get to 10 he’s probably going to have to score a big upset.  A victory over White is plausible but probably not in the cards.  Okada, maybe?

Kazuchika Okada - The leader of CHAOS and a five-time former IWGP heavyweight champion.  This seems to be a rebuilding year for Okada, as he takes a break from the limelight to give Naito a chance to shine.  That could mean he’s set to come roaring back in 2021, which could mean he’s booked to win this tournament.  On paper he’s a clear favorite, so I suppose he’s my pick to win A Block.  But as far as winning the whole tournament...I’m not feeling it, for some reason.

Ordinarily, Okada is either the defending champion or a top contender, so he loses very few tournament matches, which makes it a big deal for someone to actually beat him.  This year, though, Okada has been feuding with the likes of Taichi and Yujiro Takahashi, and getting pinned by Toru Yano.  So maybe they figure Okada won’t be back in title contention for a while, so it’s okay to make weaker opposition look stronger against him.  If he fails to win at least 10 points, that would be a very ballsy storyline.  At the very least, they might tease the possibility with an early slump.

Okada’s match with Will Ospreay on October 16 is probably going to decide the entire block, so I expect that to be a centerpiece for the tournament.  Okada vs. Ibushi is a rematch from Wrestle Kingdom and should also be excellent.  I’m personally most interested in Okada vs. Shingo Takagi, since I can’t recall them ever meeting one-on-one before.

Kota Ibushi - The 2019 G1 Climax winner, and a former IWGP intercontinental champion.  He represents Hontai, the default “home team” faction for all the purest babyfaces.  Ibushi has been a fan favorite for years, but New Japan never went all the way with him because he was a free agent.  That changed last year when he signed a long-term deal, although I was surprised they still had him choke at Wrestle Kingdom.  Nobody has won the G1 Climax two years in a row since Hiroyoshi Tenzan in 2003-2004, but I could see Ibushi doing it.

The story for Ibushi this year is that he needed to recover from going 0-2 in the Double Gold Dash series at Wrestle Kingdom, and he found new purpose in a tag team with his idol Hiroshi Tanahashi.  But the new Golden Ace team lost the tag title to Zack Sabre Jr. and Taichi, and it quickly became apparent that Tana is the weak link in the team.  So there’s intrigue about whether Tanahahi should pack it in, and whether Ibushi should leave him behind to pursue a top singles title.  An Ibushi-Tanahashi match in the finals would be a really easy story to tell.  Or they might be saving that for a non-title match at Wrestle Kingdom, which would mean neither of them are winning this tournament.

Ibushi has two modes--daredevil flippy guy or stiff strong-style mean guy.  So his matches with Will Ospreay and Tomohiro Ishii are always scary and nuts, for wildly different reasons.  I personally get a kick out of Ibushi vs. Suzuki, because Suzuki is all >:( and Ibushi is all :D

Minoru Suzuki - The leader of Suzuki-gun and current NEVER openweight champion.  Last year’s G1 was so stacked that Suzuki didn’t even make the cut, but he’s back with a vengeance.  The cool thing about Suzuki is that he’s old as balls, but he’s scary as fuck, but he’s not invincible.  So it’s sort of like having the Undertaker in the G1, except he can do four or five jobs and maintain credibility so he doesn’t have to squash everyone.

There are plenty of fresh matches for Suzuki in this field, but I’m particularly interested in Suzuki vs. Taichi, since they’re in the same faction.  Suzuki-gun vs. Suzuki-gun matches tend to be wild, vicious brawls, and I don’t remember these two ever meeting one-on-one before.  This is probably the year to do it, since Suzuki is only getting older and Taichi’s career is at an all-time high right now.

Anyone who beats Suzuki during the G1 should be in line for a future title match, although big-name guys like Okada, White, and Ibushi may pass on it to pursue bigger opportunities.  In terms of setting up future challengers, though, I think Ospreay, Cobb, or Takagi would all make sense.

Shingo Takagi - A member of Los Ingobernables de Japon and a former NEVER openweight champion.  Shingo is big and mean and tough and I like him a lot.  I’d like to think he’s being set up for bigger and better things down the road.  But for now he’s a middle-of-the-pack guy, and middle-of-the-pack guys don’t win the G1.  It’ll be a moral victory if he finishes in third or forth place for the block.

I’m kinda looking forward to all of Shingo’s block matches.  He’ll demolish Yujiro, he’ll give Taichi and Jay White the fight of their lives, and he’ll hang with big mean guys like Ishii, Cobb, and Suzuki.  Takagi vs. Ospreay might have been my favorite match in 2019, so that should be treat this year.

Taichi - One of the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions, and a member of Suzuki-gun.  The tag champs have not appeared in the G1 in recent years, but Taichi is a full-time regular, and he was in the tournament last year, so it’s not like being a tag champ was going to be held against him or anything.

I’m not expecting Taichi to do particularly well, but he needs some wins or else way too many guys will be in line for tag title shots.  It’ll be interesting to see which guys they’re willing to feed to him, because it’s hard to imagine most of the field jobbing to him.

Tomohiro Ishii - Basically the #2 guy in CHAOS and one of the NEVER trios champions.  Ishii is always an imposing obstacle in the G1 but he never actually strings together enough wins to really matter in the endgame.  So I think they’ll make a big deal about the threat he represents to guys like Ospreay, White, and Ibushi, but then they’ll just beat him like it’s no big deal.

Oddly, the one Ishii match I’m really interested in is with Taichi, because they were doing a program last year where Ishii brought out the best in Taichi and motivated him to fight honorably.  I’m interested in how they revisit that.

Will Ospreay - A member of CHAOS and the RPW British heavyweight champion.  Last I heard, Ospreay planned to live in Japan, but he got stuck in the UK when the pandemic travel bans went down. 

I heard a lot about how Will’s mental health was suffering from being away from wrestling.  Then he was distraught about Hana Kimura’s suicide.  Then he got called out amid the #SpeakingOut movement.  If I understand correctly, he was accused of helping to blackball a woman from the BritWres scene because she claimed a friend of his sexually abused her.  So there’s a lot going on here, and I’m not sure how it all will affect his career or relationship with the industry and fans.

In light of the allegations against him, I expect some Western fans will not be happy to see him back in New Japan.  I get the feeling New Japan will ignore the controversy, which may frustrate fans agitating for Ospreay to face consequences.  Speaking personally, I considered Ospreay a sentimental favorite last year, and I’m not sure the things he apparently did rise to the level of “kick him out of the business,” but it feels weird bringing him back like nothing happened.  I’m not sure how he can repair the damage to his reputation, and I don’t think I want New Japan to give him a free pass on doing that.

Dave Meltzer has suggested that, before the pandemic, New Japan planned to start pushing Ospreay hard as a heavyweight, with a lot of key wins in the G1.  If that really was the plan, could the pandemic have changed all that?  I guess we’ll find out.

Yujiro Takahashi - Bullet Club’s resident prelim guy.  This is his first G1 in five years, and even back when he regularly appeared he didn’t score very well.  I strongly doubt he’d be in this thing if they’d been able to fly in more foreigners.  But someone has to lose a lot for the big names to rack up points, and he’s suited to the role.

The most interesting thing about Yujiro is that he’s accompanied by PIETER, who is hot.  Unfortunately, Pieter is not exactly what you’d call an essential worker, which is probably why she hasn’t appeared at all since the pandemic.  Watching a Yujiro singles match without Pieter is kinda like just reading Playboy for the table of contents.  Actually, the most compelling thing Yujiro could do here is a match with Taichi, and that’d mainly be to see Pieter interact with Miho Abe, who probably also won’t be on this tour.

B Block

EVIL - The turncoat who betrayed Los Ingobernables de Japon to join Bullet Club.  Evil captured both the IWGP heavyweight title and IWGP intercontinental title from Tetsuya Naito earlier this year, but lost them back to Naito a few weeks ago.  Everybody was kinda “Really?  You’re pushing Evil?  Really?”  So it’s fair to say he’s got a lot to prove.

I don’t expect Evil to win the block.  But as a recent former champion, he needs a strong showing, if only to sell the idea that anyone who could win the title is a serious threat.  You don’t want to Jinder Mahal this guy, and I think New Japan knows better than to do that.

I think everyone in this block has had a singles match with Evil, but few have worked with him since the heel turn, which freshens up those matchups.  I’m curious how he’ll interact with Yano or Sabre, for example.  There’s obviously a grudge match in Evil vs. Naito, but Evil and SANADA were tag team partners for years, and we’ve conveniently avoided getting Sanada’s take on the Evil turn. 

The big deal, though, will probably be the match with KENTA.  I’d rather see Jay White have to face Kenta or Evil, but this will have to do.  Every Bullet Club vs. Bullet Club match in the G1 kinda plays out the same, but every year I put on my clown wig and hope we’ll see a real rift form in the group.

Hirooki Goto - One of the NEVER trios champions, representing CHAOS.  Last year they made a big deal about Goto reinventing himself at the LA Dojo, but it’s a year later and he’s pretty much the same Goto.  I just don’t have any confidence in him to score a win that’s going to move him up the ranks.  He’s easy to take for granted.

I’m all for seeing Goto pleasantly surprise me with a hot run, but how would he even do that at this point?  I guess he could pin Naito to set up a title match, but that wouldn’t get me to believe he could actually win said title match.  A victory over Evil or Tanahashi would be more doable, but does that really get him anywhere?  Maybe he could beat Sabre to set up a tag title program, but I’m so bored with matching the six-man tag champions against the regular tag champions.

Hiroshi Tanahashi - The eight-time former IWGP heavyweight champion and leader of Hontai.  He’s already won this tournament three times, a stat that puts him up there with legends from the 1990s and early 2000s.  But New Japan has been increasingly playing up the idea that age is catching up with him.  At 43, he’s not the oldest guy in this tournament, but the idea is that his knees are shot and he’s only hanging in at this level through sheer god-given talent.

In principle, you can always do a “living legend proves he’s still got it” story with Tana defying age and the odds to win one more G1.  The problem is, they already did that story in 2018, and there’s no good reason to rehash it so soon.  So I figure he’ll probably get beaten down a lot in the early going, to build sympathy for him having a bad run, and then he’ll rebound to give fans hope, and then he’ll come up short in the very end.

The biggest marquee match in this block is Tanahashi vs. Naito (they’ve been kept apart for a few years now).  But I’m more interested in seeing him battle fellow white-meat babyface Juice Robinson, or mega-dicks like Kenta or Evil that he hasn’t worked with much since they turned.  Of course, the strongest grudge match for Tana is against Sabre, playing off the recent Golden Ace/Dangerous Tekkers feud.  That one’s set for the last day of B Block, and I get the feeling it’s because Sabre is finally going to put Tana’s knees out of their misery.

Juice Robinson - Joliet, Illinois’s favorite son is finally back in Japan.  Juice had a memorable feud with Jay White in 2018 to win the IWGP US championship and take a big leap forward, but unfortunately it’s been choppy sailing since then.  He benefited from feuding with Jon Moxley and the Guerillas of Destiny, but he also lost those feuds.  At the same time, Will Ospreay has kinda leapfrogged him as the top babyface foreigner.  We’ll never know how he might have recovered from all that if not for the pandemic.  But the road back starts here.

Even as a Juice fan I don’t think he has any business winning the block.  But he’s one of those guys that is in striking distance of finishing a G1 with 10 points, and I think that would be a big milestone at this stage of his career.  Trouble is, I don’t even see four matches where he’d be the favorite, let alone five.  To get that 5-4 record he’s going to have to shock someone like Sabre or Kenta, and that’s pretty hard to imagine.

KENTA - Kenta came to New Japan for last year’s G1, and then turned heel and joined Bullet Club at the end of the tour.  Since then he’s held the NEVER openweight title, but he’s probably more infamous for beating up the retired Katsuyori Shibata, and ruining Tetsuya Naito’s celebration in the Tokyo Dome.  In a faction of dickasses, Kenta is the dickest, assest one of them all.  It’s almost admirable, in a dickish sort of way.

Before the pandemic, Kenta’s heel heat was so hot that it seemed like he was a potential rival for Jay White’s leadership of Bullet Club.  Then most of Bullet Club was unavailable this summer, and what was left kind of reorganized around Evil.  So does Kenta just accept being the #3 guy in the faction?  Or does he remind people he’s still in the “who should lead Bullet Club” conversation?  The answer is probably somehwere in the middle.  But his performance in this tournament might give us a clue.

SANADA - The dark horse of Los Ingobernables de Japon, and maybe the whole promotion.  At the end of 2019 I was dead-certain that Evil and Sanada were stuck as the two guys just below the Big Five, with no hope of upward advancement, so they’d just keep winning World Tag League forever and ever.  Now Evil’s been the champ, and Sanada fandom is heating up.  Pretty sure I saw some betting site give Sanada the best odds of winning the whole tournament.  It seems kinda crazy to me, because I’ve been watching him fade into the background for years.  But I sure wouldn’t mind if he just went and won the big one.

There’s not really anyone in this block that Sanada can’t beat.  I don’t think he ever has beaten Naito or Evil, but I certainly believe he could.  Really, the only guy that consistently makes Sanada look like a chump is Okada, who is conveniently in the other block.  Sanada having to beat Okada to win the G1 would be a really good story.  So I don’t know, maybe it really could happen.

Sanada vs. Naito and Sanada vs. Evil are clearly the big things here, but for my money you can’t go wrong with Sanada against Yano or Sabre.  Those matches always go down smooth, for incredibly different reasons.

Tetsuya Naito - The leader of Los Ingobernables de Japon and the reigning IWGP heavyweight champion and IWGP intercontinental champion.  Neither of Naito’s belts are on the line in this tournament, but anyone who beats him during the tournament is practically guaranteed a title shot by the end of the year.  To that end, he will probably lose very few block matches.  But since the point of the tournament is to name a challenger for January 4, it doesn’t do much good for the champion to win.  So watch for him to finish at like 7-2, but still come up short.

The usual pattern for a champion in the G1 is that he loses a couple of matches to set up main events on the Destruction and Power Struggle tours in September, October, and November.  That’s tricky this time because the G1 is so much later in the year, so there will be fewer big shows between now and January 4 to book Naito title matches.  In addition, Naito is a double champion, and has expressed a preference to defend each title separately.  So maybe they could do a thing where he loses G1 matches against, say, Goto and Kenta, and then they book Naito vs. Goto for one belt and Naito vs. Kenta for the other on the same tour.  But it’s pretty clear New Japan is kinda playing 2020 by ear, so they may not even be sure where they’re going with this stuff.

For several years now there’s been a lot of concern about Naito’s body being “thrashed,” and whether he can keep up with the physical demands of a top champion.  In New Japan, working the G1 is the most demanding of those physical demands.  He had a few months in the spring to heal up, but that was a couple of tours ago.  Now the real grind begins, so if he’s still having problems, that probably doesn’t bode well for his long-term career.

Toru Yano - The first KOPW titleholder, representing CHAOS.  Yano’s gimmick is that he seems like a prelim comedy guy, but he’s so good at cheating and misdirection that you have to take him seriously.  He’s not going to win the block, but he can definitely hang in long enough to play spoiler.  Last year he notably handed Jon Moxley his first New Japan loss--it was by count-out, but two points is two points.  You underestimate Yano at your own peril.

Yano’s matches are often pretty short, and don’t involve a lot of hard work for the wrestlers.  It’s sort of like each of the other guys gets a “night off” by playing his game.  Some fans think he shouldn’t even be in there, but I’ve come to look forward to all the different ways he’ll try to steal wins.  For fans expecting “sports entertainment” in the G1, this is your guy.

YOSHI-HASHI - One of the NEVER trios champions, along with Goto and Ishii, from CHAOS.  Yoshi is a journeyman, who just won his first NJPW title after 12 years with the company.  There’s a “lovable loser” quality to the guy, and he has his fan following.  But in terms of the G1, he’s a jobber.  He hasn’t been in the tournament since 2017, and that year he went 2-7.  I’m not expecting much better this time around.

Zack Sabre Jr. - A member of Suzuki-gun and Taichi’s partner in the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions, Dangerous Tekkers.  Sabre’s emphasis on chain wrestling, grappling, and submissions causes the style of his matches to stand out from the rest.  Where other heavyweights train for size and strength, he stays lean and noodle-y to wriggle out of holds.  He’s completely different, which is vital to avoid the feeling that every G1 match is just, like, two strong style dudes slapping the shit out of each other.

Sabre has always impressed me but that doesn’t translate into big pushes for him.  They’ve given him some key feuds over the RPW British title, but it never feels like he’s really truly in the mix with the top guys.  I’d like to see that change, and maybe get him back into the 10-point range.  But in a way he’s kinda like Ishii and Sanada, where they talk like he’s a big deal but then he loses a lot to make other guys look better for beating a “big deal.”

Like I said before, Sabre vs. Tanahashi is a natural grudge match and will probably be the main focus of this tour for Zack.  But I think it’ll be interesting to see how he handles Evil and Kenta now that they’re heels.  And Sabre vs. Sanada is always a treat.

Predictions

I think I’ve talked myself into an Okada vs. SANADA final, but I could see New Japan going in other directions.  Ibushi vs. Tanahashi would be a rehash of 2018’s tournament, but that was a great match so I don’t know if anybody would mind.  The biggest match they could do might be another Okada vs. Tanahashi match, but I don’t know if this is the right year to go there again.

Of course, the G1 final doesn’t have to be a dream match.  You can put the guy who’s going to win in there with someone that nobody thinks can win.  Kenny Omega vs. Hirooki Goto in 2017 and Kota Ibushi vs. Jay White in 2019 were foregone conclusions, but they made you believe that maybe there’ll be an upset when you kinda knew there would never be.  I could see them doing something like that with Ospreay, Takagi, Kenta, or Sanada.  Actually, an Ospreay-Sanada final might be hot because they’d both feel like underdogs, so you wouldn’t feel like one of them definitely has to win.

If that was like picking a Royal Rumble winner, I’d think WWE wants to pick a new guy to push as a top babyface challenger, and Sanada would make sense.  But I’ve seen so many years where New Japan stuck with what works that I’m reluctant to pick anybody outside the Big Five.  So I guess I’m going to pick Okada to win the G1, and then kinda hope I am pleasantly surprised.

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW SUMMER STRUGGLE in JINGU Review (August 29th, 2020, Tokyo, Jingu Stadium)

Master Wato vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru  **1/4

KOPW 2020 Decision Match: Kazuchika Okada vs. SANADA vs. Toru Yano vs. El Desperado  **3/4

NEVER Openweight Championship Match: Shingo Takagi © vs. Minoru Suzuki  ****1/2

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship Match: Hiromu Takahashi © vs. Taiji Ishimori  ****+

IWGP Tag Team Championship Match: Taichi & Zack Sabre Jr. © vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kota Ibushi  ****

IWGP Heavyweight & Intercontinental Double Championship Match: EVIL © vs. Tetsuya Naito  ****

Photos.

* I tried to edit some minor things on my original post, but it was inexplicably deleted. Thankfully I had a version backed up, for some reason, so here it is posted anew.

This was a fun, brisk show (it clocked in at about 2 and a half hours) from a socially distanced crowd of around 5,000, that delivered a few great matches. On the whole everything felt a bit short, especially the first two matches that were both sprinted through in 7 minutes. Yoshinobu Kanemaru countered an RPP attempt into a cradle to pin Master Wato in an opener that was marred by a few noticeable botches, then Toru Yano very surprisingly pinned Okada to be the inaugural KOPW trophy holder. The finish came when Okada had Despy in the Cobra Clutch, but Yano rolled in, hit a low blow on his CHAOS stablemate, then School Boy’d him for the win. This was fun, but at 7:01, it was much too short to be anything other than “just there”. Things really picked up in match 3 as Shingo Takagi, who has been one of the (if not the) standout workers of 2020, defending his NEVER title against grouchy psychopath Minoru Suzuki. This was the best match on the show, and these guys pummelled each other in the blistering August sun. Special mention must go to Suzuki’s facials in this, which were tremendous. Shingo managed to escape a rear naked choke and nailed a Death valley Bomb, then hit Made In Japan for a near fall. Suzuki escaped a Last Of The Dragon attempt and hit a headbutt to the back of Takagi’s head. Shingo came off the ropes for a Pumping Bomber, but Suzuki nailed him with his big dropkick. They exchanged stiff forearms and Lariats, before Suzuki hit a shoot headbutt, and locked in the choke again. He let go and hit the Gotch Style Piledriver to win his second NEVER championship at the 14:56 mark.

The Jr. Title Match that followed had a lot riding on its shoulders. Firstly, Hiromu is nursing a separated shoulder, so he was limited in what he could do, and Ishimori hasn’t looked like his old self since injuring his neck in last years BOSJ, so whilst this was a really great match, it was nowhere in the same league as their classic 2018 BOSJ final. Bone Soldier worked over Hiromu’s injured shoulder, ramming it into the ring post after hitting a Moonsault to the floor, and trying for the Yes Lock. Takahashi made a comeback by hitting a dropkick off the apron, then went for a German into the buckles, but Taiji countered into a reverse Frankensteiner. Hiromu popped up and hit the German into the corner anyway, then got a near fall with Dynamite Plunger. They traded German’s which resulted in both guys landing square on top of their respective heads. I’ve no idea what they were thinking here, unless the plan was to flip out onto their feet, but neither made it properly. Takahashi tried the “D” triangle choke, but Ishimori tried to power him up into a powerbomb, nearly dropped him, then hit a buckle bomb which Hiromu took head first in frightening fashion. Hiromu battled back with a big Lariat, hit the Death Valley Bomb into the corner, then hit Time Bomb for a great near fall. He tried Time Bomb II, but Ishimori escaped and hit a reverse Bloody Cross, which looked terrifying, then locked in the Yes Lock again. Hiromu fought valiantly, but Ishimori turned it into a Border City Stretch he’s calling the Bone Lock, and Takahashi had to tap at 13:30. An interesting title switch here, but realistically, there are no fresh challengers for Hiromu at this point (or anyone really), and he’s probably going to factor into the G1, so it makes sense. And I know that I sound like an old fuddy-duddy here, but Hiromu needs to stop taking these bumps onto his head and neck. He only returned from a serious, potentially career-ending neck injury in December, and by August he’s needing to take time off again.

The Tag Title bout was an excellent match. It went 16 minutes so didn’t stay in the doldrums for the first half, like their half hour Dominion outing, and was essentially all action. The beginning was just as you’d expect; the heels worked over Tana’s destroyed knees, and he sold and sold. However, he made the hot tag to Ibushi, who ran wild like a man possessed, hitting stiff kicks, a standing moonsault and standing shooting star. He traded more hard kicks with Taichi, with both guys hitting a double headkick on each other for the double down. Zack was sporting a taped up knee, so Tanahashi zeroed in on it after escaping a Brakes Arm Bar, hitting Dragon Screws, including the babyfaces hitting the assisted version they’ve been devastating Tanahashi with all summer. After Ibushi kicked the Iron Fingers From Hell off Taichi’s hand, it came down to Tana and ZSJ again. The Ace hit a standing HFF, then went up for another, but Sabre moved and he ate canvas. Taichi again hit the ring and the champions hit the double team Black Mephisto that they’re calling Zack Mephisto (very clever), to retain the titles. I honestly think it’s time Tana and Ibushi parted ways for the time being so Kota can figure into the main title picture again. He’s been in the tag scene ever since he lost at Wrestle Kingdom, and it feels like he’s lost a lot of momentum. As for the champions, I’m never going to pretend to like Taichi, but he does his job well here.

And in the main event, Tetsuya Naito sought revenge on EVIL and reclaim his Double Titles in another Dominion rematch. This was a hundred times better than their Osaka outing as the interference was kept to a minimum (well as minimum as interference gets nowadays) as they didn’t needlessly go 40 damn minutes this time. The story of this was both guys going after the others neck, with Naito hitting neckbreakers, and EVIL doing his chair around the head gimmick. The King Of Darkness tried Darkness Falls onto the apron, but Naito countered into a neckbreaker to the floor, then scored a near fall with a Frankensteiner off the top. EVIL sent Naito into the exposed turnbuckles and hit a massive suplerplex. He followed that up with Darkness Falls for 2, and countered a Naito Destino attempt with an eye rake. The prerequisite chicanery happened next as Dick Togo nailed Naito with a chair as EVIL held the ref. After a botched ref bump, EVIL just threw Red Shoes into the exposed buckles, which brought Togo back. He and EVIL nailed a Magic Killer on Naito, which (shock of all shocks) brought out BUSHI, who took Togo out with a dropkick. From here, Gedo came in and poked BUSHI in the eyes, and they brawled at ringside. Dick Togo used the garrotte on Naito, which caused SANADA to run out, hit dropkicks on EVIL and Togo, then wipe Togo out with a TKO, which the veteran took a great bump for. SANADA and BUSHI hit stereo Pescado’s, then dragged the interfering Bullet Clubbers to the back, leaving it one-on-one. Naito hit Destino, but EVIL kicked out. EVIL countered a second Destino attempt with a low blow, and hit a massive Lariat for a near fall. Naito blocked an attempt at another low blow, then hit Valentia (this is a much better finisher, in my opinion), then lifted him up and hit Destino to regain the belts at the 26:20 mark.

Naito cut a promo in the post match about over coming adversity, there was a fireworks display, and everyone went home happy. So the EVIL experiment is over, for the time being. I have absolutely no problem with them wanting to elevate EVIL, but it was more of the manner they were going about it which raised concerns with me. He really didn’t need to be out there doing the whole Bullet Club shenanigans, as they really don’t play to his strengths at all. Next up is the G1, which should be interesting. It doesn’t have the same sort of buzz around it for me this year (what could?), for obvious reasons, but I’m sure it’ll be a ton of fun.

NDT

[deadmandairyland]

IT’S ZE SEQUEL YOU’VE ALL BEEN VAITING FOR:

The Ultra Despair Girls portion of this growing list of charts.

But before I get into it, I thought I should define some of these terms quick, because in my last chart I got a comment saying they had no idea what any of it meant (thank you for the support, by the way, you were very nice). So a quick rundown on the terms used in this chart for those of you not familiar with pro wrestling lingo and Japanese comedy wrestling promotions:

“Mark” and “Smark” are pro wrestling terms for two different types of fans: the target audience and the wrestling fandom, respectively.

Originally “mark” was a carny term for fans who didn’t know wrestling was staged, but now that everyone is in on the act it refers more to people who just enjoy watching wrestling without getting invested in the behind-the-scenes stuff. It sometimes carries a negative connotation of “sucker” due to both its roots and the fact that some smarks think marks will watch just about anything as long as “WWE” is printed on it somewhere.

“Smark” is a combination of “smart” and “mark.” “Smart” was originally the term used for fans who knew that wrestling was staged and were interested in the behind-the-scenes aspect of wrestling. But now that everyone is in on the act, it has been replaced with “smart mark,” which still carries that “interested in the behind-the-scenes aspect” side of it. It sometimes carries a negative connotation of “know-it-all fan” as some smarks act like they know the business better than the promotions do... basically like any other fandom, honestly.

DDT, at least in this instance, refers to Dramatic Dream Team, a Japanese wrestling promotion that focuses on comedy. I’ve name-dropped Kota Ibushi, Danshoku Dino, and Joey Ryan on here before, so I’ll explain why I name-dropped them quick. Kota Ibushi, probably one of the most skilled wrestlers of this generation, once wrestled Yoshihiko, an inflatable doll, in a wrestling match that went semi-viral on YouTube. Danshoku Dino basically has an over-the-top hypersexual gay panic gimmick, which is famous enough that Spike Chunsoft added some of his moveset to their Fire Pro Wrestling games. And Joey Ryan is the American guy with the supernatural dingle dangle. Won’t link to any videos of the last two, not just for subject matter but also because while looking for a video for Ryan I found out about something I didn’t know about when I made the last chart, so... yeah, probably not going to make anymore references to Ryan for these charts. ...Well, maybe just one: Teruteru probably still has that framed photo of Ryan in his room. That’s it. That’s the only Ryan joke I’m going to make in this post.

Oh, and Jim Cornette is a former legendary manager who became really popular with smarks at one point due to his no-nonsense takes on wrestling and his amusing rants about people in the business he doesn’t like, but I think a lot of smarks have started to push away from him in recent years, as he has a tendency to be an old man who yells at clouds. Breaking ties with memetic kayfabe son Brian Zane (Wrestling With Wregret on YouTube) over the latter daring to say that comedy wrestling has its place and can even be good is just one example of Cornette’s refusal to accept anything that he doesn’t agree with.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s begin.

Let’s start off with our heroines, not just because they’re the protagonists but also because I’ve kinda covered them already in the DR1 chart so this will be easy. Now one thing I didn’t notice the first time around is that Komaru is literally smack dab in between both Fukawa personalities, like some kind of mediator. That was not planned when I made the DR1 chart, but now it’s actually kinda funny. In a meaningful, maybe even shippy sort of way.

Also referring back to the DR1 chart, look at Grandpappy Fuhito being exactly where I said he would be. That’s some continuity right there.

The Warriors of Hope are all across the board. Masaru still thinks wrestling is real, so he’s definitely a mark. Jataro probably thinks it’s real too, and if his mother actually gave a shit about him she probably would be concerned that he enjoys watching wrestlers wrestle blow-up dolls. Monaca and Kotoko being smarks for DDT shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. Nagisa wonders what the hell is wrong with all of you.

And now for the Captives. Like Sakura, Kenshiro also transcends the title of both mark and smark. In the top left you will see both Daddies being heavily concerned about all these kids watching wrestlers wrestle blow-up dolls. Aloysius is a smark who takes wrestling seriously but is also not so above-it-all that he can be compared to Grandpappy Fuhito. Fujiko is a smark who loves her some pretty boy BL action, and what better place to find that than a Danshoku Dino match? And unlike Gundham’s hamsters I have the distinct feeling that Kameko and Grand Bois Cheri actually have opinions on wrestling. And as for Hiroko and Kanon, see Fujiko, except far less extreme... at least in Hiroko’s case. And Takemichi? See Fujiko, except far less extreme and also a mark. As for Ayaka... I’ve got nothing.

I wonder if I should have included Chihiro in this chart. I mean... what with Taichi’s picture and all. Hell, I included Santa and the Naegis in the DR1 chart. ...Ah well, Chihiro could use a break. Also he would have been right next to Haiji and OH HO, I don’t want to do that to poor Chihiro, so this is probably for the best.

[buttdawg]

G1 Climax 30 Predictions

I’m not sure how this is going to work, but I want to try to organize all my predictions on this one post, so I can find them all later when Gedo crushes my dreams.  

WINNER: I’m going with SANADA this year.   He’s a cool dude, he deserves a push, and even if he loses the briefcase or whizzes his title shot at WK15, it would still be cool to see a fresh face win the G1 tournament.  

Bolstering my reasoning, he’s slated to face EVIL on the final night for B-Block.   There’s a couple of other matches that night that would make a suitable main event for that show, but they used to be bros in LIJ, and they used to be a tag team within LIJ, so this seems like a good match to decide the winner of B-Block.   And EVIL should lose that match because EVIL fucking sucks.

RUNNER UP: Kazuchika Okada.   NJPW has depicted Okada as going through a slump in 2020, which is kind of dumb, since they’ve been doing the exact same angle with Tanahashi at the same time, and Tana’s older so it makes more sense.  I guess the main difference with Okada is that he still wins a lot of matches but can’t quite clinch the big ones, where Tanahashi seems to have trouble all the time.  So it probably adds up for him to win A-Block, then lose the finals. 

Mostly, I just want to see a renewal of the one-sided SANDA/Okada rivalry, since they had a good match at last year’s G1, and then the title match a few months later at... I don’t remember the names of these shows.    “Halloween Havoc in Okayama 10.7″.    Let’s just call it that.

Looking at the final night of A-Block, Okada’s facing Will Ospreay, and that also seems like a big enough match to decide a tournament block.   Maybe this isn’t an important factor, but I see Jeff Cobb facing Yujiro Takahashi on the same card, and I’m pretty sure that means Jeff Cobb ain’t winning no A-Block anytime soon.

FIRST TO TEN POINTS.   This is something I noticed last year, when I picked Jon Moxley and Okada to win their respective blocks.   Starting out, I thought they were a lock to win, because they won five matches in a row, but they couldn’t keep the streak alive, and their opponents started to catch up.    But they were still right there in the mix until the very end, so it seems to me that this is probably a feature of every round-robin tournament.   Someone has to crack five wins early on, and yet that guy probably isn’t going to win, because it would make the back half of the tournament seem unimportant.  

But it seems like racking up that big score up-front is kind of an achievement in itself.     I wasn’t familiar with NJPW’s roster last year, so I didn’t realize the calibur of guys Moxley was beating, but they put him over the Intercontinental AND the NEVER Openweight champions.  

This year, I figure Tetsuya Naito ought to be in that kind of role, since he’s the double-champion, and this whole tournament is for a shot as his titles, so he ought to look really dominant, even if he doesn’t win.  

For A-Block, let’s go with Kota Ibushi, just because I feel like they’re trying to make us think he’s got a shot at winning back-to-back G1′s, except he’s in the midst of a hot tag team program, so I have a hard time seeing him actually winning.  

FIRST TO EIGHT POINTS.   I don’t know the mathematics of how many possible wrestlers can reach eight points at the same time, but I’m going to pick two from each block.  For A-Block, Jay White lost his first four matches in G1 29, so let’s have him flip the script this year.   He’s finally back in Japan, so let’s see him make a strong start in this tournament.   And maybe Tomohiro Ishii, because why not?

Over in B-Block, uhhhhhh, let’s go with EVIL and KENTA. 

I’m not going over the match lineups very carefully here, so maybe there’s logical reasons for these picks being impossible, but I’m just trying to throw out some names and see what shakes out here.  

WINNING RECORD, TEN+ POINTS.   This seemed to be a point of pride for the wrestlers in the second half of the tournament.   There’s 18 dates for the tour, nine for each block, and after Day 12 or so it’s pretty clear who’s in the lead and who probably won’t catch up.  In particular, I remember Tanahashi being upset about finishing with a 4-5 record.   You’d expect about half of the participants to have a winning record, so I’m going to try to pick them out here.

A BLOCK

Kazuchika Okada

Kota Ibushi

Tomohiro Ishii

Jay White

Taichi

B-BLOCK

SANADA

Tetsuya Naito

EVIL

KENTA

Hirooki Goto

MISCELLANEOUS PREDICTIONS.

1) Yujiro Takahashi goes 0-9 through A-Block.     Look, this guy’s been feuding with Okada all summer, and one time Okada let two guys help Yujiro and he still lost.    NJPW can pretend that he’s not Wile E. Coyote, but that doesn’t mean I have to buy it.  

2) Toru Yano finishes 2-7 through B-Block.    I think normally Yano does a respectable showing at these things, because he’s comic relief, and it doesn’t really matter whether he wins or loses.  But this year he’s got the KOPW trophy, and I assume that means whoever beats him here gets a shot at the trophy later.   Personally, I want to see him have to defend the trophy many, many times, or at least he should be extremely anxious about the prospect of that. 

3) Hirooki Goto ties for second place in B-Block.   Not sure how that should shake out, but it happened last year, and I dig Goto’s comeback story.   He doesn’t make huge waves in New Japan, but he won the NEVER Openweight title, and I think he should have a respectable showing here, whatever that is. 

4) Taichi d. Minoru Suzuki in A Block.   Normally, I would bet that all the horses will have a fun time, but the odds of that are 100% here, so I’m going to pick Taichi to fuck Suzuki up.

5) YOSHI-HASHI only loses to guys who wouldn’t challenge him for his coveted NEVER 6-Man Tag Championship.    I think the dude should do okay in this G1, but let’s not go nuts.   Tanahashi’s beating him, Naito’s beating him, Goto’s beating him, ZSJ’s beating him, Kenta’s beating him, and EVIL’s beating him.   But none of those guys would bother challenging him for his 6-Man tag title, because they have bigger fish to fry.    So the only people YOSHI-HASHI should defeat are SANADA, Yano, and Juice Robinson.   Please defeat Juice.    Please.

6) Juice Robinson sucks.    More of a statement of fact than a prediction, but I stand by it.

[some-triangles]

WRESTLING OF 2018

It was perhaps the gayest year of wrestling there has ever been. 

The Golden Lovers brought an influx of new, excitingly-gendered fans, and set to work normalizing their couplehood by demonstrating that a gay champion can fit as neatly into New Japan’s ongoing story about evil foreigners and the soul of wrestling as a straight one can.   On a more radical front, Hiromu Takahashi made everyone he fought fall in love with him, spreading his ideology of wrestling-as-sex through sheer animal magnetism, in a way that only he could.   It is difficult to resist the urge to romanticize his injury, given the tropes that surround men like him.  I was in the room when it happened and when I watched the replay I felt something die: the possibility of a new vernacular of grappling, one which acknowledges the homoerotic tension that is always present in a wrestling ring and uses it for fuel.  More to the point, though, I saw a young man’s neck break.

We can console ourselves with the idea that even if Hiromu can’t come back to us he left a mark on some of his foes which will linger.  Witness Will Ospreay’s frankly carnal hunger for Kota Ibushi -  Ospreay was Hiromu’s most eager disciple and (should he avoid a similar fate) seems destined to become an avatar of wrestling, such is his big dumb talent.  Hiromu’s influence will spread, albeit gradually.  If you’ll let me rationalize this hurt by making it a story, his legacy is a slow smoldering touched off by a candle that burned too bright.

It was also a gay year in the west, for in WWE 2018 was the Year of Women (undeniably the gayest of the beginner genders.)   The ascendance of Becky, Charlotte, Ronda et al to the main event has been the success story of the year, because it feels organic, like something the crowd wanted, even though it was in part the hard work of the booking committee that brought them to that point.   If WWE had not failed at every turn to get a single male superstar over, the girls wouldn’t be headlining pay-per-views.  

I kid, of course.   Against the many, many reprehensible things WWE has done this year as a company, the rise of women’s wrestling stands as an uncomplicated positive step which they pursued and accomplished intentionally, clumsily at times but with obvious care.  When they’ve made mistakes in this journey they’ve gone out of their way to repair them, reacting quickly (by their standards) and decisively (by their standards) to the demands of the audience, and as a result they currently boast a women’s roster which is the best and most successful the world has seen since the heyday of Manami Toyota and Aja Kong.   It helps that they have their pick of the best talent in the world; there is no IWGP Women’s Championship, no real payday or celebrity outside of the E.  People will say this is because Japan is different, that segregation is natural there, to which I reply: the fuck it is.  The biggest wrestling promotions in Japan choose to be male-only, and as a result the best female wrestlers find work overseas. This is a weakness that WWE will exploit when they launch NXT Japan.

If all this queer yonic energy is upsetting, worry not - 2018 was also the year of the Elite, and they have so much penis for you.   The Being the Elite crew have proven that we now live in a world where a group of wrestlers, if they’re talented and hard-working enough, can get themselves over without the support of any company, particularly if they’re on TV a lot in multiple countries and can get the companies they do definitely work for to promote their web show.   Once that’s done, all you need is some dad jokes, some catchphrases, some sub-SNL sketch comedy, and a truckload of dicks, and you have arrived at Nerd Paradise, the magical zone where Kenny and Cody discuss their favorite Disney amusement park rides in front of thousands of men in black t-shirts.

Again: I kid.  I was there at All In, too, and I got worked just like everyone else, to the point where I’m still half-hoping that the boys are about to launch a wrestler’s union and not some half-baked new TV promotion to slot in between MLW and whatever that thing Austin Aries launched to feel better about himself was. And we do live in exciting times, vis-à-vis the internet: the Elite may have had help, but Pierre-Carl Ouillet proved that all you need to revitalize a long-dead career is a Youtube account, a willingness to endure insane amounts of physical punishment, and a dream.

What I genuinely took away from All In – and from the wrestling I’ve seen this year generally – is an appreciation for wrestling fans, who have demonstrated themselves to be increasingly diverse, enthusiastic, hungry for good content, and willing to support anyone who’s putting in the work, regardless of where they come from or who they are.   I mean, we’re still wrestling fans, i.e. perpetually loud, wrong and angry about it, but we’ve come a long way.   People like the Wrestlesplania team, Spectacle of Excess, TDE and the twitter wrestling GIF community, fanartists, cosplayers and so many others are modeling new and better ways to engage with the product, challenging ideas about who wrestling fans are and how they behave, and generally being great people.  I for my sins am an old-school spiteful nerd at heart (hence the tone of this post) but I believe the community has been immeasurably improved by the contributions of people who aren’t.  Even the newly ascendant vanguard of British wrestling geeks are skating around every opportunity to prove themselves horrible people, led by the beatific smile and cadaverous pallor of Botchamania Maffew, who tries his best.

There’s more to say about New Japan and its eternal return to xenophobia, about Daniel Bryan the sellout and how he reminds us that we’re always being worked, about Roman Reigns and the cloud of missed opportunity that hangs over him even in his absence, about Hiromu.   But the story’s not over yet – the story of wrestling’s never over.  In less than a month the landscape will have changed again and a new year of carny nonsense will stretch out before us, with new meaning to wring from it and new things to get inexplicably, apoplectically mad over. Kevin and Sami will be back.   Hiromu might be back, god willing, even if just to take his Shibata victory lap.  The Elite might change the world.  Someone else we’ve never heard of might do it first.  WWE might succeed in signing every hot new professional wrestler on the planet, and Zack Sabre and a tiny Spanish man will still find a way to have a five star match in an armory in Barcelona.  We might find out that Kim Jong Un has been paying Vince McMahon millions of dollars to suck at promoting and thereby sap American morale.  Wrestling will continue to rule, in spite of this.  Wrestling will continue to be for everyone.  

[thrash-rocket]

Wrestle Kingdom 13 Preview

For those of you who don't know Wrestle Kingdom is the biggest event for New Japan Pro Wrestling and takes place every January 4th. It closes off some storylines or at least ends a part of it storylines occasionally span years in this company hell the Golden Lovers reunion took 10 years or so. In this post I'll try to layout the back story and competitors in each match.

Pre-show: #1 contendersship for the NEVER Openweight 6-man Tag Team championship.

Togi Makabe and Toru Yano and Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Yuji Nagata, Jeff Cobb and David Finlay vs. Hirooki Goto, Beretta and Chuckie T. vs. Minoru Suzuki, Lance Archer and Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs. Hangman Page, Yujiro Takahashi and Marty Scurll

There's not a lot story to speak of here the match is replacing the New Japan rumble that is normally on the pre-show due to the current champions G.O.D. and Taiji Ishimori having matches on the main card

The winners of the match will go on to face the current champions at New Years Dash the following day

I'm not sure who's going to win this one every group has at least one person I like

I would like Murder Daddy Minoru Suzuki and K.E.S to win since it feels like K.E.S hasn't done too much

With the storyline of Chuckie T. losing his shit and the mole in Chaos I don't know how'd that play out if they won

Taguchi and Yano will probably get played up for laughs during the match

I don't have high hopes for The Elite winning since I don't know how NJPW and AEW are going to get along moving forward

NEVER Openweight Championship

Kota Ibushi (c) vs Will Osprey

This match was set the night Kota won the title shortly after Osprey won the number one contendership

The two compete in different weight classes making a match for this title really the only way the two would face each other short of Osprey moving up to the heavyweight division

It is certainly a dream match for a lot of people myself included these are two of the most impressive high flyers in the business right now

However this is absolutely a high risk match both of these performers styles are extremely high risk and neither really know how not to go all out

I'm legitimately worried for Osprey he's injured himself a lot since I've been watching him I've heard a lot of people worried he may be the next Dynamite Kid and if you don't know enough about that comparison to worry you just know it should

Kota has a history of neck injuries as well

I hope these guys rear it in a bit but all that said this should be a good opener to the main card

Three-way tag team match for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship

Yoshinobu Kanemaru and El Desperado (c) vs. Sho and Yoh vs. Bushi and Shingo Takagi

I'm really hoping Shingo and Bushi win this one as I'm not a huge fan of either of the other teams Desperado and Kanemaru for being such good heels and RPG3K I'm just bot huge fans of also L.I.J has taken the spot for my favorite faction since the bullet club split.

I'm always happy to see Shingo since he's been introduced to the group to essentially fill in the spot for the injured Hiromu Takahashi.

I have no doubt that the plan was always for Shinjo to join L.I.J but the group feels incomplete with out Hiromu and I hope his injuries are healed sooner than later I think New Years Dash may still be too early but NYD does have a history of some crazy shit going down

British Heavyweight Championship

Tomohiro Ishii (c) vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Not much to say on this match not a fan of ZSJ like there's just something about his body and face that's off to me and his matches are just his opponents having to play along with his absurd submissions

The match should be good though Ishii is much more of a brawler compared to ZSJ and had a good rivalry with Suzuki through out the year

No one can ever fill the Shibata shaped hole in my heart but the closest contenders are definitely Ishii and Suzuki

I do hope Ishii wins but if he does lose hope he goes on to win the New Japan cup because him and Goto deserve to have a run with the heavyweight championship at some point in their careers

Three-way tag team match for the IWGP Tag Team Championship

Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa (c) vs. Sanada and Evil vs. Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson

I hope Evil and Sanada win it would be fantastic for them to not only win the world tag league but the tag titles at the dome two years in a row.

I just want all the good things to happen for L.I.J

I wouldn't mind G.O.D winning from a story standpoint though because they're still running a path of destruction through the company returning to the Bullet Club of old

The Young Bucks unfortunate to say don't belong in this match I'm sorry but they've done nothing to deserve being in the match

I think how the relationship between NJPW and AEW may play into the outcome of the match and if the rest of the elite continue to show up in New Japan

IWGP United States Championship

Cody (c) vs Juice Robinson

Another match that AWE may play into

I'm rooting for Juice in this one he's just such a pure white meat babyface and comes across as so genuine in all his promo work

Cody is the perfect foil to Juice as well just comes across as an absolute snake (irl great guy tho)

This is absolutely Juice's story beating his rival Jay white to become champion the first time coming up short in the g1 and fighting with a broken hand through it and losing the title to Cody at the Fighting Sprit Unleashed event.

Juice is the ultimate underdog and I hope at some point he graduates beyond that and I think this may be the first big step to that if he wins

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship

Kushida (c) v.s. Taiji Ishimori

While Ishimori hasn't won any major tournaments or had any strong fueds against Kushida he's been booked strong enough to earn the spot

Kushida meanwhile has something to prove in that he is still the Ace of the Jr division in the way Tanahashi is the Ace of the heavyweights

To my knowledge these two haven't had a lot of ring time together but they're both great performers which should certainly make for a good match

Okada V.S. JAY WHITE

The only match that doesn't have any title or contendership on the line this is a match simply based on pride and revenge

At New Years Dash last year White faked out Kenny Omega about joining the bullet club instead opting to join Chaos and soon won the US title from Kenny and defeated Okada in the first day of the G1 tournament causing a rift within the group.

White turns on Okada during the Destruction tour and brings Okada's long time mentor Gedo with him as the two of them and Jado fuck off to join the Bullet Club in their current state

Jay White has come a long way from his debut as the switchblade character I think i used to think of him as babyfaced kylo Ren but now he's a much more legitimate heel than before in a way being a better Cody than Cody ever was since he still has some redeeming qualities from time to time

This year has not been good to Okada but I think he can take the loss plus it will help the bullet club look better in the long term and will leave room for the fude to reignite later on.

IWGP Intercontinental Championship

Chris Jericho (c) v.s. Tetsuya Niato

At least year's NYD Jericho attacked Niato and fucked off for a few months until he came back during Wrestling Dontaku setting up a match for the title at Dominion which Jericho won and continued to beat on Niato

Fellow LIJ members Evil came to stop Jericho planting the seeds for a match between the two but not before Jericho attacked Evil before a match against ZSJ and set forth the opportunity at Power Struggle.

This match has been in the works for most of the year while Jericho has mostly been holding the title hostage Lesnar style and I can't wait to see it

Both Chris and Niato are two of my favorite wrestlers so this should be better than their first match where Jericho pretty much brutalized Niato for most of the match

I say Niato wins they need the IC title to be active in the company again and Jericho may actually be another who will soon fall into the AEW group

Main event IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Kenny Omega v.s. Hiroshi Tanahashi

These two are some of the best performers this company has

Tana has carried the company through their dark times and been the face of the company since the early 2000s

Meanwhile Kenny touts that he will be the face of the companies westward expansion

Both have every different ideas of how the company should carry itself going forward

This is really a story of the old guard facing the new

It will be interesting to see how things will play out no matter who wins here

Kenny doesn't have a win at a main event in the dome but Tana has plenty behind him at this point

I'm split on who I'd like to win on this one but very excited to see how it plays out and what it means moving forward.

[extremedivas]

What is around Kota Ibushi career with NJPW?

1.This is the present moment; where Ibushi are right now.

The Queen of pentacles is, in fact, the queen of security. Kota Ibushi is a hard worker and he never rests on his laurels. In a reading Queen of pentacles Ibushi being enjoyable and keeping busy with the practicalities of life is what brings satisfaction and happiness in his workplaces. I don’t think he love traveling or touring with his co-workers. Ibushi is a homebody and he love training in the gym a lot.

2.What crosses Ibushi, for good or ill. Position two shows potential obstacles or support.

The Star is for Ibushi that he doesn’t like fame and celebrity lifestyle. He doesn’t like the pressure of being famous. He love to do his own things and just wrestle even enjoy his privacy. Ibushi isn’t not a attention seekers, He is more of a free spirit thinkers.

However, All eye on him only.He doesn’t like media attention that much. But people love to watch him and get to know him. Because Ibushi is a very mysterious person with a hidden image that is different from other.

Ibushi challenge is fame and attention in the media especially the internet.

3.This is the foundation of the situation, or the past conditions that have lead to the present. It’s where Ibushi coming from. The source.

The Strength is a card about power in your character of strength.

I see Ibushi is the Strength in NJPW promotion. He can draws crowds to his matches. I see that NJPW bookers is taking a risk for him to get pushed into champions field. They’re trying to made him to be the top star soon as possible.

I saw Ibushi is struggle to be this top star in NJPW promotion. But he kept telling himself that he must be in his game. I see that NJPW look at Ibushi as “If he is the one gonna be our star in our company?”

I see Ibushi will be the next big time star in pro wrestling. He will get his momentum next year.

4.This is the recent past or the things that are just starting to move into the background.

The Eight of Wands often suggests travel in connection with work. For certain, Ibushi work schedule is very hectic and busy. His job requires Ibushi to think on his feet and be able to multi-task. This is a high-energy work environment where there is much activity and certainly a lot of travelling involved. Travel does not have to be long distance but he is bound to be out and about for appointments, presentations and meetings.

I see Ibushi is talking to NJPW President or CEO about his new opportunities in their company. But it will be good news for him.

5.The situations on the horizon or what may come into being, the possibilities. Some people say “this is what crowns Kota Ibushi”. It may reflect where Ibushi want to go.

The four of cups reversed mean for Ibushi is opportunities is coming to him soon. I see his time is now and he must grab every opportunity he get.

There is a break through for Ibushi to sign a great deal for him. He isn’t signing a slave contracts either. Ibushi gonna signs a freedom contract with some companies.

6.This is the near future or what is coming/developing from the situation.

The Seven of Pentacle indicates that Ibushi spending time reflecting on his career to date and where he see himself in the coming years.

The Seven of Pentacles does not bring success lightly. Ibushi have worked extremely hard to get to this stage. Determination, conviction and commitment have dragged him through some pretty grim stages for the task he have taken on, is by no means small. There is a chance that Ibushi had not envisaged it to be so relentless in its demands upon him and his resources but when the going got tough, Ibushi never gave up his dream and goals.

Ibushi may feel that he is getting nowhere or that he made the wrong choice in his career. This may very well be the case but sometimes he need to give it time to take off. Ibushi may be inpatient or too much in a rush to get to the top in his career right now. The best thing to do is set some realistic goals and work towards for him. The time is now to plan your next goals in life.

7.This is Kota Ibushi at the moment.This can reflect Kota Ibushi current position or his current attitude towards the situation.

The King of cups meaning Ibushi is about to be recognised in a big way in New Japan Pro Wrestling or pro wrestling in general.

I see Ibushi gonna be at the top of the corporate world, possibly even CEO in some pro wrestling companies. However, He gonna be a star in the making in pro wrestling.

8.The environment, surroundings or other influences.This position can be the home or work environment as well as other people who may be influencing the situation.

The Two of Cups means that those in Ibushi inner circle are loyal and dedicated to him, especially the male figures.

I think is related to tag team tournament in njpw or trying to build a storyline around him. I see male co-workers respect and appreciation for Ibushi especially Kenny Omega.

9.This is the hopes and fears of the Kota Ibushi. It can also symbolize the shadow work needing to be done.

The Hermit means mentoring and working alone in his career.

I see Kota Ibushi hope is to mentoring young coming up talent in pro wrestling. But his fear is to stand out alone. The Hermit represents loneliness and isolation in your life.

I think Ibushi fear to standing alone in front everyone as a solo champions in njpw. And his hope to be the best coach and teacher in pro wrestling.

10.This is the outcome or where Kota Ibushi headed.

The Ace of Cup mean a new job or career may be indicated which offers deep fulfilment and a sense of joy in one’s work.

I see Ibushi in a loving and supportive work environment where staff are happy and welcoming. Ibushi is waiting on news of a job application or offer then he is bound not to be disappointed. A job that allows his creative expression would be ideal for a opportunity to him.

11. This is a after Outcome where is Ibushi gonna be in for the next ten years or so.

The Tower Reversed can indicate an end to Ibushi difficulties in the wrestling business, a health scare that has turned out to be a false alarm, a calamity that was all a lot of hot air, a storm in a tea up. On the other hand there might be setting about rebuilding out of the ruins. Ibushi may be working hard to salvage what he can rebuild his empire. This could be his reputation, business or marriage with a close loved one. Damage limitation is key if Ibushi is to whether the storm coming to him.

I see Tower reversed in Ibushi reading. That people around him may be unusually stressed, and arguments and misunderstandings are going to be happening a lot lately. It is important that Ibushi don’t take these personally, and that you don’t involve yourself in conflict unnecessarily or let your ego take over. When you have the Tower reversed, it’s especially critical to think before you speak Ibushi.

People will take your tweets and words to twist against you. Be careful what you posted about your situation with njpw and your life. There are trolls who trying to made you look like a bad guys. I think you should remain humble and quiet about yourself and others.

[breadclubrising]

Your thoughts on Ibushi feeling mentally weak because of his loss? I feel like he hurts(? If that makes sense like he is not being enough for his idol and that affects his performance in some kind of way, also DT proposing a new partner downplaying Tanahashi's effort and them being pushy in "beg us for the titles! Muahahaha" gives out they want it more than GA since they already decided not to go for a rematch until they win one. In the end just want to hear your thoughts Ibushi's storyline

Ha, Anon. You know not what you ask. I have been working on an essay about this for a while now (aren’t you shocked!), so I’ll excerpt some of it here. And now this is becoming an essay in its own right. 

(I made a post about this and...)

---

---

Aw thanks, Anon. I will try to address all of this. It is very long, and I’m sorry.

---

I’ll start by saying this: Golden Ace made me stop watching wrestling for a while. It hurt that much. Just to put out there how many feelings I have about this.

First things first:

I do not know that I can convey with human language how much I love Hiroshi Tanahashi. My favorite readings of his character give him a tragic edge; to me the shining superstar is not nearly as interesting without his dark side: his need to control, his unwillingness to admit that he is slowing down, his single-minded view of what is Good and Right. His career arc—where he began as an iconoclast who in-kayfabe single-handedly saved NJPW from ruin and saved its wrestlers from the brutality of Inokiism, and has morphed into a well-meaning but narrow-minded patriarch who Knows Best, in part because of his being so beloved for what he achieved, gracelessly pretending he is not getting slower—is heartbreaking and beautiful. He beat the man only to become the man. He sacrificed so much and tries to impose his way on others as a way of justifying his sacrifices. I have... just so much written about Tana’s career arc. It’s one of my favorites ever.

And honestly, I love the story of Ibushi and Tanahashi as a story. It’s heartbreaking and beautifully performed. On an out-of-kayfabe level, I adore both of them and their ability to share of themselves so deeply while still making a story for public consumption. 

But in kayfabe, as an Ibustan? Tana and I are gonna have a problem.

(so, so much more below this cut. you have been warned.)

My slacker genius hero 

idk if you’ve noticed this, but Ibushi is consistently depicted as kind of weird. And I confess I’m projecting a bit here, but part of being Weird On Main is that you do it because you cannot be not-weird no matter how hard you try. Maybe sometimes you can contain it, but your default state is weird and whatever it is that normal people do, you do not understand it nor are you capable of doing it.

His entire career has been guided by his heart first and ambition second. That’s how he is, he follows his heart. The dearth of fucks he gives about what he should be doing is truly awe-inspiring. And that was probably for his own survival: when you are that fucking talented, what you should be doing is a weight you carry with you at all times. People constantly wondered why he didn’t try to ‘do better’ than DDT. As soon as he got to NJPW, people wondered why he wasn’t bulking up to move up to heavyweight. As soon as he was able to gain enough weight, he was in the G1 (where he promptly got a concussion). 

He has always seemed to struggle with the weight of Living Up To His Potential, knowing that talent like his obligated him to answer for it, but also knowing that he doesn’t feel invested in things unless he’s enjoying himself. Career achievements were never much of a motivator for him—he wanted them, of course, but always ran into the wall of having to sacrifice his own happiness or mental health to get them. But like... normal people do that all the time, right? Sacrifice and hate their lives in order to reach some long-wanted goal? And like many Weirds, Kota seemed to spend a long time stuck in the tortuous I SHOULD be able to do this, normal people can do this brainspace.

The best example of this is something that Tanahashi would have admired: at one time, Kota was the first wrestler in a major promotion to have two home promotions. Like literally two full-time jobs as a wrestler; on the full-time roster at both DDT and at NJPW. What kind of wrestler is worth that physical risk and scheduling nightmare? What kind of wrestler is worth sharing as a commodity with one of your competitor promotions? Kota Fucking Ibushi is.

This burned him out quickly—he says, far more emotionally than physically—and he left wrestling altogether for a while, with the official excuse of finally getting surgery on a herniated disc in his neck. He wrestled at WWE for a bit before, shockingly, finding it too constrictive. 

Finally, he decided to become a freelancer, which is A Choice when you are one of the most naturally talented people a sport has ever seen. It means you won’t be winning major titles and you won’t get a ton of investment from any one promotion, but it also means you get to control what you do, when you do it, and how much of it you do. Ibushi rejected any career path that would lead to traditionally-defined success, and he did so intentionally, in service of his mental health and ability to love his job.

Because like. He tried to do what a normal person with his level of talent would do, and he couldn’t stand it. It made him hate wrestling and his life. He pushed himself hard and he failed. Not meaning that he did not succeed in terms of his career—he was doing great when he left NJPW, and WWE offered him contract stipulations and money that were unheard of—but meaning his body and mind began failing him. Finally, he’d been forced to accept that the world’s expectations simply did not work for him. And then he had decided to be unashamed of that, and built himself a way of being that fit him, in a culture where obedience is a sign of maturity and poise (you can see it in the word: 大人しい; “quiet, docile, obedient”; literally “like an adult”). 

The Ace and the Golden Star

Tanahashi and Ibushi may sort of be coming to a place of understanding now, but they haven’t historically seen each other as equals. Ibushi calls Tana a god, and Tana has always admired Ibushi’s talent, but been disappointed by his work ethic. (Hiroshi “Very Extremely Healthy And Non-Fucked-Up Relationship With Work Ethic” Tanahashi and Kota “Reacts Well To Being Told Not To Do Things” Ibushi.)

When Ibushi came back to NJPW for the G1 in 2017, he was coming back to it on his own terms, as a freelancer. He debuted his finisher Kamigoye (which, in case anyone has never read my blog before, means “go beyond god”) to beat Tanahashi during that same G1. 

Ibushi lost his subsequent challenge for Tanahashi’s IWGP Intercontinental Championship, and at the end of the match, he tearfully embraced victorious Tanahashi, who patted his very worthy rival on the head. Ibushi felt humbled, like he hadn’t lived up to his potential. By losing, he felt he’d disappointed Tana.

And maybe Tana didn’t disagree. Tana spent the 2018 G1 (and the theme continued through the latter half of 2018) saying in his backstage comments that Kota Ibushi wasn’t living up to his potential. That he needed to work harder and put his nose to the grindstone to become Great. 

Tanahashi genuinely admires Ibushi and is amazed by his talent, so he truly saw it all as coming from a place of love. He’s a big fan! He just wanted to see Ibushi do his best, and Tana has a really strong opinion about what “doing your best” means. In Tana’s mind, Ibushi (who one thousand percent Did Not Ask) needed to get serious and win some titles, needed to commit and work harder, devote more of his time and energy to wrestling, and generally follow exactly the path Tana himself had in order to succeed. And Tana didn’t mind saying so without invitation, and to the press.

Oh, and don’t forget that coincidentally Ibushi was on a tag team with Kenny Omega, whom Tana disliked for reasons he juuuust couldn’t put his finger on. (Later it came out: Kenny’s an immigrant! Ha ha! Great and good! I could do a whole other essay about this storyline. It was REALLY good and they had to abandon it completely.) Ibushi needed to get serious about his life and stop wasting time with that loser (IWGP Heavyweight Champion) Kenny Omega. Kenneth was dragging Ibushi down, said Tana, which—regardless of whether you agree with Tana or not—is uh... probably not an opinion you should just volunteer out loud to the press about someone you purportedly care about.

Tana was offering ‘helpful’ suggestions without realizing that not only was Ibushi happier than he’d ever been, he was happy because he had already tried the things Tana was helpfully suggesting, and had deliberately decided to do the opposite of that, so that he could be happy.

When your entire thing is in my career I do things on my terms, this is who I am and I’m not sorry, and someone is telling you you’re doing your career wrong, it’s gonna sting extra. Because you’re a fucking weirdo, and if you could do things the expected conventional way, you would in a heartbeat. So the thing that you are “doing wrong” is a thing you have fought tooth and nail to do in a way that works for you. If it meant being shamed for it, it didn’t matter, because there was no other way you could have done it. 

So, Tana didn’t know it, I don’t think, but his ‘the way you’re managing your career is wrong’, tragically, really meant ‘the way you are is wrong’, when applied to Ibushi.

(And? When you’re doing it wrong and part of what you’re doing right now is being extremely fucking gay? That “get serious about your life” plays into a whole mess of extremely unfortunate tropes about gays. I have no idea if these tropes exist in Japan as well, but western gays are deeply familiar with them. Of course I don’t at all believe Tana meant it that way, but unfortunately, as A Gay, it’s too familiar for me not to hear it there. Feels bad man.)

YOU’RE NOT MY DAD

After all that well-meaning (?) shit talking, Ibushi and Tanahashi faced each other in the 2018 G1 finals. Ibushi lost. Was Tana right about all that untapped potential? Was Ibushi once again humbled because god beat his ass?

Last time Tana beat Ibushi, they hugged, Tanahashi magnanimously recognizing the great effort on Ibushi’s part. This time, he held out his hand for a handshake. They’ve come so far as rivals. Right? 

Ibushi looked at it, then held up both hands in front of him, shaking his head and backing away. He said backstage that Kenny would have hit Tanahashi, and Tanahashi clearly wanted a handshake as equals. But, he said, he is not Kenny, nor is he Tanahashi. He does things on his terms.

He didn’t care if it looked disrespectful: Tanahashi’s handshake was a patronizing offer of forgiveness for Ibushi’s failure to live up to Tana’s ideal. Ibushi’s rejection was not disrespect, but demanding respect from someone who had explicitly told him he did not deserve it from them unless he became a different human being than the one he’s fought to be. 

Ibushi left with his head high, so defiant in his weirdness that even if God Himself says you need to change who you are to be worthy of my approval and acceptance Ibushi says, actually the way I am is great, thanks, and I will love myself whether you approve or not. 

I can’t say how much he means to me, because of that. Him rejecting fucking god telling him to be someone else—someone who did not love himself—was more than I could have ever dreamed I’d get out of wrestling. A man who had found, as I had in my life, that no amount of wanting to be able to do things the way that normal people do them would grant that ability, had then decided to find a way that would work for him, and do that. And so had I, and around the same time (Kota and I are also p much the same age). And then, when defeated, instead of allowing someone to say ‘this is because you did not conform,’ he said ‘I cannot be truly defeated because tomorrow, I will still do things the way that makes me happy and fulfilled.’ I could write so much more but I’ll stop here: it meant everything to me.

I mean... dad?

Fast forward to the 2019 G1. A lot had changed. Ibushi had signed full-time with NJPW, much to Tana’s satisfaction. In the leadup to Wrestle Kingdom that year, Tana had very deliberately and openly used Ibushi as a cudgel against Kenny Omega, saying Omega did not deserve his partner, Ibushi, and did not deserve his home, Japan. He had told Omega, who had dutifully worked his way up the NJPW ranks to become the most beloved gaijin in NJPW’s history, that he should not be the third Musketeer (the big 3 guys in the promotion from each generation; the others of this generation being Naito and Okada). Putting a gaijin in that role is Not Done, and Kenny was already Top Gaijin, which was the highest a gaijin should be allowed to go. Further, Tana believed that Ibushi, a part-time freelancer who was not signed with NJPW, should be the third Musketeer, because he is Japanese and Kenny isn’t. 

In kayfabe, Tana had negged Ibushi’s Golden Lover right out of Japan, but NJPW seemed pretty determined to erase the memory of Omega, so Ibushi and Tanahashi were on friendly-ish terms,

“Everything I am begins and ends with Tanahashi,” Ibushi said before the match. Kota won, which almost everyone was expecting, but the real question we all had: how would he treat the Ace once he’d won? Once he embraced him, once he’d pushed him away. Who was Kota Ibushi now, in relation to god? And in relation to the company itself, which Ibushi had recently committed to ‘for the rest of my life’—and which Tanahashi personified? Victorious Ibushi crawled over to Tanahashi and gratefully clasped his hands in fervent appreciation, foreheads together, Tanahashi smiling approvingly, patting his head like ya did good kid. Later backstage, Tana said something like “I sensed a lot of pain in you when we fought, but I can tell you used it to overcome your shortcomings, let go of what was holding you back, and reach your potential.” And at the end of the match, Ibushi had seemed to be in agreement, looking prostrate and humbled, seeking forgiveness for his past sins.

I was saying ‘i-BOO-shi’

Except, like… his “past sins” were: soul-searching and learning what was important to him. Healing physically and emotionally from burnout. Making his way back, on his own terms and no one else’s, to the career he’d had to leave to save himself. Reuniting with a his lost love—not without complication, but undeniably making him happier than he’d been in years, finding the joy in wrestling again, giving himself the emotional energy to invest more and more in his career, but smartly this time, protecting himself. And then telling the Ace of New Japan that he would continue to do things his own way, and no one else’s. 

He did all of this against the backdrop of a culture that punishes individualism or makes it a spectacle. He asserted himself nevertheless, because it was either that or a breakdown. And all of those things were what Tanahashi felt he should be apologetic for, what he had wanted Ibushi to excise from his wrestling and his personality in order to Reach His Potential. 

And... it worked. Ibushi played by the rules, conformed to expectation, and not only did he win, he was accepted and forgiven for his waywardness. Turns out, Tana was right all along: Ibushi needed to be less himself in order to be truly successful. Not only that, through career success and sacrificing the things that made him happy (because they also made him most himself which, again, was bad), he was finally truly fulfilled. 

After an entire career’s worth of refusing for his own sake to do what others expected of him, he finally lived every Weird Person’s wildest fantasy, wherein we sacrifice every strange thing about ourselves that we’ve spent our lives learning to love, in order to Conform, but instead of blowing up in our faces, THIS TIME, FINALLY, it worked, and at long last we found that being Normal truly does bring happiness and success and our parents finally love us. He’s through the looking glass, but he can’t hear us on the Weird side anymore, and doesn’t even remember that there ever were Weirds. And now all the Weirds back home have seen the horrible truth, that changing who you are fundamentally in order to be obedient is… actually the right thing to do, which of course means they were right about us all along. We aren’t good enough just as we are, fundamentally; our parents were justified in withholding unconditional love and everyone else was right to mock us. We throw all our Kurt Vonnegut books into the garbage and we weep.

That was the story. 

So at first I kind of half-heartedly tried to convince myself that all of this was that thing where no matter how much sincere emotional work you do, you will never stop secretly craving your parents’ approval; we are practically hard-wired to want it. And then I moved toward seeing the grateful gesture as a sort of forgiveness, a recognition that his pedestal of Tanahashi had finally toppled and shattered. After all, Ibushi is the sort of dude who got all the way down on the ground to bow to both Nagata and Yoshi-Hashi after beating them in G1 matches, and that certainly wasn’t an apology, it was humble gratitude for their work. So maybe this was a true going beyond god—Thank you truly. I don’t need you anymore.

But... it probably wasn’t that, and it was hard to believe my own bullshit. Ibushi is also the sort of dude who, in his first entrance upon his return in 2017, had gotten all the way down on the ground to bow to fans in deep apology for having been gone for two years; ie apologizing for caring for himself. Heh. But uh... maybe this Tana thing was just a heat-of-the-moment thing, like a quasi-kayfabe act of true honesty?

LOLNO! Time for Golden Ace to immediately win the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Championships, thus not only cementing Ibushi’s return to the Well-Behaved fold and certifying Tanahashi as The Guy Who Was Right About You, but also having all of these things be kayfabe events that happened within the span of a little more than two years: 

Ibushi gets an emotional gay reunion with his tag team and life partner

Tanahashi uses Ibushi as a weapon against said partner, who is forced to leave the company, vindicating Tana’s opinions about both Ibushi and Omega (I don’t care how much you hate Omega, that is a shitty thing to do even if we only care about Ibushi’s feelings.)

Ibushi and Tanahashi win the tag team belts that the Golden Lovers never even got to challenge for

COOL AND GOOD. LOVE THAT.

That story really hurt. I couldn’t watch them be a team.

Haha unless? This current story really hurts too, honestly. But maybe it’s making the past hurt a little less. MAYBE.

So, Tana has been getting physically stiffer and slower for a while now, and now it’s kinda becoming hard to ignore. 

And maybe, hanging out with Tanahashi seemed cool at first but then when Ibushi realized he’d excised every interesting thing about himself in order to conform to what Tana expected of him, it started to wear on him. I’m hoping I can be allowed to have that interpretation.

So Ibushi’s forced to be like ‘hey I need you to step up your game bro,’ which, if Ibushi ever fantasized about turning the rhetorical tables on Tanahashi’s criticism, doesn’t seem to feel nearly as good as he’d hoped it would. It feels bad for both of them.

And Tana seems humbled, because he’s been so embarrassed and stubborn about admitting that maybe, possibly, potentially, he could be slightly perhaps showing signs of failing to be immortal. But maybe he also now sees that his ‘tough love’ criticism of Ibushi didn’t make Ibushi better, ultimately, it just made him care about and value the same stuff Tana does. And oops, now maybe Ibushi has ideas about success that don’t really take into account the limitations Tana has, even if he’s worked very very very hard to try to push through them until he was forced to admit that he needed to find another way. This sounds familiar and I hate it!

Tanahashi is now trying to find his way. And Ibushi, once humbly appreciating Nagata and Yoshi-Hashi after beating them, is now hard-eyed and almost deliberately lacking awareness of others’ need for compassion. Tana got what he wanted—Ibushi in his own image—but now he’d probably be a lot better off with the sparkly-eyed mischief-maker who doesn’t care as much about titles as he cares about loving wrestling. 

Of course, Kota very much had his own reasons for doing this too—he felt the pressure to win titles to match his talent at least as much as Tana felt it for him—but it’s still kinda heartbreaking that he became the determined and serious never-getting-too-close-to-anyone company man that Tana envisioned him as, and then it worked. That’s a completely new way of judging his worth as a person, when he’d spent his career before that judging his worth by how happy and fulfilled he was. So when he loses now, he’s even more hard on himself because he’s also letting Tana down, and Tana really believed in him.

But I think he’s also starting to get uncomfortable, because he’s getting dangerously close to re-learning a lesson he has already learned pretty painfully. He’s done all this work and sacrifice only to find that—shockingly— winning and being seen as a Top Guy is still not worth your happiness and mental health.

And it was PRETTY shitty of him to walk away from Tana getting a beatdown! That felt VERY bad. But Tana has been failing to admit that he can’t do the shit he used to do, to his own detriment. IMO that doesn’t justify Ibushi leaving him to deal with shit on his own but also, I kinda don’t blame him if he feels resentful of Tana for asking him to be a different person in order to fit within Tana’s vision of him, all while Tana refuses to admit that he himself does not fit the vision he has for himself, which is ultimately making it harder to do the thing Ibushi now feels more driven to do than ever—partially because of Tana’s influence—which is win. WHEW.

FEELS BAD.

But! Hey! Then Tana did exactly what Ibushi asked and like cut a little fat and got more serious about his hair and tan. And then he got a pin on Dangerous Tekkers and now he deserves a title shot. And he’s like ‘Ibushi in Soviet Russia god stans u’ and Ibushi is like “excellent sir, ready 2 only care about my personal success!” So now they’re friends again? And they’re even, because a person not accepting that they have to conform to others’ expectations, and a person not accepting that they are aging like every human being does, are totally morally equivalent? And all that nuanced storytelling was totally in my head? 

Yay? 

So where is this going?

Bro idk. I’m so deflated by this storyline it’s hard to think of a scenario that would make me stop being devastated by potentially having THE major reason wrestling means so much to me (Kota Ibushi’s weirdness and perpetual defiance of expectation, for the sake of fiercely and unwaveringly committing to himself and the belief that he deserves to be valued for who he is, his hard-fought path that he carved for himself when he saw that he couldn’t do stuff the way he was Supposed To, succeeding because he is unapologetically honoring that in a world that demands conformity and obedience and punishes deviation; PLUS GAY, which makes everything even more poignant I’M TOTALLY FINE) permanently written out of existence. 

If Kota learned that forcing yourself to be normal 1. totally works, 2. brings instant success, and 3. was the right thing to do all along because the way you were was stupid and foolish and the fact that you ever thought you should be accepted, let alone allowed to feel okay about yourself, let alone happy, when you can’t even do the most basic human functions correctly, just goes to highlight how deeply alien and unacceptable you are, fundamentally, as a person LIKE I SAID I’M FINE IT’S FINE, then I should probably stop caring about wrestling and get to figuring how to live a 9-5 existence and how not to care about things to a degree that makes other people laugh at me and not use ten-dollar words and stop making men feel nervous because I’m way smarter than they are, and also i guess have a dog and find a monogamous husband whom will get me pregnant with some kids, and I’ll go to bed at a reasonable hour! Because! If Kota can do it and be successful then goddammit I can too.

I’m fine.

But idk. It’s hard to imagine why they’d do this little rift storyline and have nothing come of it except Golden Ace are better bros than ever before. I don’t even know what I want. Right now it feels like this arc is about Tana’s development, and Kota is kinda a supporting character. 

Maybe it felt valuable to in-kayfabe acknowledge the fact that Tana sometimes looks like his knees and hips don’t bend, but ultimately show that the Ace has still got it! And also Kota Ibushi is a selfish asshole who talks down to his elders. I mean, a stern but fair leader? I mean a driven, tough-love champion? 

Maybe Tana will fail in the title match despite his cosmetic improvements, because he has still fundamentally failed to earnestly engage with his limitations. 

Maybe he really has accepted and learned to work with a new reality and now he’s on fire.

I think the only way to make this feel satisfying would be to turn it into a long-term rivalry of some flavor, where Tana had the Ace Wars with Okada, now he can have a God War with Ibushi. When Tana can no longer be NJPW’s heart and soul, I don’t think anyone can fill those shoes. But he has already in many ways passed on the soul of NJPW to Okada which was cemented with the Ace Wars, so maybe this is how he’ll eventually (hopefully a while from now) pass on the heart of NJPW to Ibushi; make Ibushi earn it the same way Okada had to unequivocally prove he was worthy of Ace, including to Tanahashi himself.

I could see a rivalry where they go their separate ways but are grateful for having learned some things together. They truly both feel like equals now, and they support each other living their best lives. This would be a rivalry where they constantly push each other to be better; Ibushi figuring out a way to be true to himself and still win, and Tanahashi figuring out how to have a glorious, once-in-a-century late career and gaining new vitality as he throws off the weight of pretending he’s still in his prime.

RACHEL ARE WE GETTING A HEEL TURN OR NO

ORRRR I guess one of them could turn heel, because they’re both the shiniest babyfaces and that would rule. While they both know how to heel when needed and take up the mantle gleefully, neither has had a proper heel run really. 

In normal times I’d say ‘but I don’t really think it’s likely that either of them will turn heel’, but these are not normal times. I truly don’t know what to think or expect. Bullet Club is missing its heavy hitters and may be for a while (can it be Yujiro’s time to shine at last??), which is why EVIL and Dick Togo are there now. In a way I could see a heel Tanahashi take advantage of that power vacuum and it would be incredibly badd ass.

I could see Tanahashi resenting Ibushi and getting real mean about it, doing that thing where someone provokes Ibushi until they go too far and get rekt. Like going back and using all that ‘i’m your father and i disapprove’ bullshit he did. Ibushi wins the HW title, Tana challenges and loses bc he makes the same old ‘but i’m actually 27 years old still’ miscalculations that have been a problem for Golden Ace. But he gets his groove back and eventually beats Ibushi for the HW title, and gets a later-career run he deserves (i lov u tana). 

But... it actually would NOT rule at all to see Ibushi turn heel. 

Which is a major shame, because you have no idea how on board I am, in theory, with him donning the black and gold, dyeing his hair back to black, being sadistic all of the time, thinking up tag team moves for him and ZSJ, getting evil smiles of approval from The King, and somehow becoming good at not only talking but saying mean things, which he never ever does even when people are mean to him. In a just world, I could be very down with Suzuki-gun Ibushi. 

But we do not live in a just world, we live on Earth in the system Sol in the year 2020 AD. If Ibushi did a heel turn now, it would most likely be in further service of the narrative that his desire for independence and happiness was selfish and bad, his individualism and unapologetic strangeness were embarrassing, and Tana was right to tell him to stop being gay and start destroying his body more. Because a dude that disrespects his elders and role models is Not A Good Dude. Because rebellious people whose biggest act of rebellion is loving themselves when everything around them tells them they shouldn’t are Wrong, Actually.

So as much as in theory I’d love to see him in Suzuki-gun, in practice I would probably never be able to watch wrestling again because it validated the worst fears I have about how I move through the world. If Kota Ibushi is Wrong for being weird then perhaps truly nothing is salvageable for me about this horror show of a planet.  (Also, practically speaking, the Bullet Club being down so many folks might mean that the other true heel faction is less likely to get new members.)

Like, in-kayfabe, yeah, this story already feels like a betrayal. But also out of kayfabe, if it turned out that the Lesson was ‘if you conform you will be successful and loved’? And Kota took part in that story? I know it sounds extremely well-adjusted of me to say, but I’d feel a little like he betrayed me; showing me it was okay to be weird so convincingly and then going ‘actually I always hated being weird, I don’t regret giving up everything I thought I loved about myself, in order to be normal. which means not only is it possible to overcome being the off-putting freak you are, but you are failing at doing it every single day.’ Or—perhaps even worse—the story I thought I saw, that made me feel seen (like, actually), was never there to begin with. Which... would mean that the story I saw was actually just what actually happened in real life to a person I admire so much, who has brought me so much joy. I don’t think I could take any of those outcomes and still enjoy wrestling.

That’s totally a normal thing to feel, right?

Epilogue in which ya girl has been exposed to too many harmful chemicals recently

In order to soothe my faltering ability to find joy in wrestling, I shall note a very cracky theory, which is The Middle Path: 

Ibushi’s a strange dude, and he plays by his own rules. He does not like factions; he’s in Hontai more or less by default... but NJPW’s resident Island of Misfit Toys faction is down one heavyweight, and was already very small. 

Perhaps Ibushi and Tanahashi will agree to disagree about whether you should be weird and happy or drill your body into a fine pulp until you die, and their rivalry will take a more official form when Ibushi’s arc comes full circle: where he once graciously tried to accept his old friend back into the fold so many years ago, his old friend is now well and truly the Shuyaku, and welcomes him, fist raised, to the loving arms of the Weirds. Milano Collection AT weeps because he can now stan more fervently. La Estrella Dorada Ingobernable has, after all, always been the very definition of ungovernable.  (This seems unlikely because of Ibushi’s gr9 rivalries with SANADA and Naito, but in a world where EVIL joined Bullet Club, do we really know what’s real anymore?)

---------

WHEW! Anon, if somehow there is anything you feel I did not address sufficiently, please let me know. Otherwise, as always, thank you for giving me an opportunity to write about something that interests me, and I am sorry for who I am as a person.

[shinsugay]

Okada/Omega 0: Or, Please Watch Wrestling With Me

SO I’ve gotten really hard into pro wrestling, particularly Japanese pro wrestling, these past few months. And it just so happens that we are also in a really exciting time for pro wrestling, as not one but TWO of the greatest pro wrestlers in years (and maybe, like, all time) are at their peak right now and are having some of the best fights ever seen anywhere. 

These two have been ramping up over the past year and a half, creating what many called the Okada/Omega Trilogy of matches at three pay-per-views in 2017. And if they had just left it at that, they still would be called some of the greatest of all time.

Well, this past Friday at Dominion 2018 was Okada/Omega 4, and it was the best of any of them, and to many people (including Dave Meltzer, critic, who is basically the Roger Ebert of pro wrestling) it was the best match of all time.

SO in the effort to get literally anyone I can convince to read this into pro wrestling, please enjoy my introduction to Kazuchika Okada and Kenny Omega and the greatest wrestling rivalry of our time.

THE CHAMPION: “The Rainmaker” KAZUCHIKA OKADA

Kazuchika Okada is without a doubt one of the top, if not THE top, wrestlers in the world. At 6′3″, 236 lbs, and only 30 years old he is the young king of New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW - basically the WWE of Japan). He leads the CHAOS faction, which started got started as a “heel”/villain stable run by Shinsuke Nakamura (my favorite wrestler) but in the years since has become much more of a “face”/hero stable. Okada took over as leader of CHAOS when Shinsuke left for the WWE in 2016. 

Above: A crying Okada wearing a Nakamura t-shirt, carrying a crying Nakamura around Korakuen hall after Nakamura’s last match at NJPW. OKADA LOVES NAKAMURA SO MUCH Y’ALL!!!!!!!!

Okada has held the IWGP Heavyweight Championship Title (the most prestigious title in New Japan) for a record 720 days. The second most days that a champion held the title is 489 days by Shinya Hashimoto, and that was in the 90′s. That’s almost half a year longer than anyone else has held the title. 

He is simply that much better than everyone else in history. 

Above: Okada holding his belt and knowing he’s king shit of fuck mountain. 

And he fucking knows it! Okada is a プロレス天才 - a wrestling “genius.” He’s Pro Wrestling Goku. Gifted with innate physical ability and technical skill, he destroys his opponents without even seeming to try. He is powerful, and arrogant, and he makes it clear that he doesn’t really care about his opponents, he’s just doing this for the cash (hence the name of his signature move, “the Rainmaker,” and the fact that there’s always money flying around when he’s coming on-stage). 

He’s feuded with other great wrestlers--namely Tetsuya Naito of Los Ingobernables de Japon, another one of my faves and fodder for another entire series of posts--but as of yet, no one has been great enough to take the championship off him.

Until...

THE CHALLENGER: “The Best Bout Machine” KENNY OMEGA

Kenny Omega has only been in NJPW for 8 years (compared to Okada’s 14), but he has made quite the impression. As leader of the Bullet Club (another heel stable--decidedly more villainous than CHAOS) he is the top gaijin talent in NJPW. 

Kenny Omega has walked a long hard road to get to this point, however. And no matter where you look, it all starts with this man: Kota Ibushi.

Kota Ibushi is a great martial artist and wrestler in his own right--his matches with Nakamura are two of my favorites of all time--but for this story, I’m focusing on his relationship with Kenny Omega. 

Kota is the reason Kenny came to Japan. Kenny is a native Canadian, and before coming to Japan he worked for a number of North American promotions, including the Ring of Honor and the WWE. Ultimately, however, he was feeling dissatisfied with pro wrestling. 

All that changed when Kenny saw footage of a young Japanese wrestler named Kota Ibushi. 

Above: Kota backflipping off a vending machine to pin Kenny on a table in one of their first iconic matches.

Kenny was so impressed by Kota’s frenetic, almost reckless wrestling style that he challenged him to a match over Youtube, and a Japanese wrestling promotion flew Kenny over so that they could have it. It went so well that Kenny got hired in Japan, and he and Kota formed a tag team partnership called The Golden☆Lovers.

Over the years, Kenny and Kota fought tons of insane matches together, but eventually drifted apart as their singles careers grew. Their last match as a tag team was in 2014, and since then they have been simmering in a kind of stewing rivalry and resentment, as each watches the other’s career from a distance, too bitter and proud to make the first move to reunite.

Above: Kenny “The Cleaner” Omega 

Meanwhile, Kenny has been growing in power in NJPW. After debuting in Bullet Club as “the Cleaner” in 2014, Kenny rose through the ranks to become leader of Bullet Club following A.J. Styles’ departure in 2016. Along the way, he teamed up with the Young Bucks, the tag-team partnership of real life brothers Nick and Matt Jackson, to form THE ELITE--a kind of group-within-a-group in Bullet Club. As The Elite, Kenny and the Young Bucks have created a 100+ episode Youtube series and have won the NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship title twice. They are best friends IRL and huge, dumb nerds.

Above: Matt Jackson, Kenny Omega and Nick Jackson being huge nerds

As a wrestler, Kenny is undoubtedly one of the greatest--if not THE greatest--in the world. At 6′0″ and 228 lbs he is a little smaller than Okada--he’s also a bit older at 34. But for what he might lack in athleticism (and he doesn’t lack much--he is truly, frighteningly athletic) he makes up for in charisma. Kenny Omega cuts a promo like a true great. He understands what is fun about wrestling; that it should be silly and over the top, but also taken deadly seriously. That ultimately it’s about emotion and catharsis. That good wrestling is about the in-ring moves, yes, but it’s also about the story they are telling, the relationships and the shared history.

I truly believe Kenny Omega will be remembered as one of the greatest wrestlers of all time in any promotion. But don’t just take my word for it... watch for yourself, and look out for my next post about the lead-up to Wrestle Kingdom 11. 

[Aside: I started this post thinking that I would have two sections: one to profile Okada, and one to profile Kenny. But in Kenny’s section I have mostly been explaining the other folks in his life--Kota, Nick and Matt. And that I think sums up the two wrestlers, and what makes this storyline so great. To understand Okada, you really just need to know about Okada. To understand Kenny, you have to know these other people who are so important in his life. This is a story about how greatness doesn’t stand alone, and how love wins in the end.]

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax B Block final preview

This is the final round of B Block matches in this year’s G1 Climax tournament.  Whoever finishes with the most points at the end of this show will win the block.  (If there’s a tie for first place, the man with the best record against the other leaders wins.)  The B Block winner goes on to face the A Block winner on October 18.

In each block match, a win is worth 2 points, and a loss is worth 0.  In a 30-minute time-limit draw, the participants get 1 point apiece.  No championships are at stake, but as always in New Japan, a non-title victory over a champion gives you the right to demand a title shot.

EVIL (6-2, 12 points) vs. SANADA (5-3, 10 points) - Evil can win B Block by winning this match.  Sanada can only win the block if he wins this match and Tetsuya Naito loses to KENTA.

From 2016 to 2020, Evil and Sanada were a top heavyweight tag team representing Los Ingobernables de Japon.  But then they met in the New Japan Cup this year and Evil was particularly heartless.  Little did we know then that Evil would go on to defect from LIJ to Bullet Club.  Obviously LIJ was heartbroken and betrayed, but we never really heard from the member who was closest to Evil.  I’ve been waiting for this one-on-one encounter.

Curiously, though, Evil’s story has shifted away from his betrayal of Naito to trouble brewing within Bullet Club.  Jay White and Evil aren’t even in the same block, and we now know they can’t possibly meet in the finals, but they’ve been snipping at each other in post-match interviews for a couple of weeks.  It’s a point of pride for Evil to reach the finals where Jay could not.  But win or lose, something’s up with Evil and Jay, and I don’t know when it’s going to explode.

Could Jay screw Evil in this match?  That’d be the play in WWE, but it’s not a very New Japan sort of thing to do.  Then again, the Ospreay vs. Okada finish last night has me second-guessing what New Japan would or would not do.

Bullet Club intrigue aside, the bottom line for me is that Evil’s run as top heel has run its course and everybody would be better off with a Sanada push.  I don’t know if Sanada can or should win the G1.  But I’m a lot more interested in him reaching the finals than seeing Evil do it.  All Evil can do is win and chase Naito again, and we’ve seen that.  We’ll probably see it again no matter what.  So as long as that’s happening either way, we might as well get a Sanada push too while we’re at it.

Tetsuya Naito (6-2, 12 points) vs. KENTA (4-4, 8 points) - Naito is the IWGP heavyweight champion and IWGP intercontinental champion.  Kenta holds a contract to be the next challenger for the erstwhile IWGP United States championship.  Kenta is mathematically eliminated, but Naito can still win B Block if he scores more points than Evil or Sanada.

Kenta famously did a run-in on Naito’s victory celebration in the Tokyo Dome back in January, and got a title shot out of it in February.  But he didn’t really feel like he belonged at that level, and I never bought him as a serious threat to Naito.  I still don’t, frankly.  It would make sense for Kenta to win to set up a rematch for the title down the line, but I’m not terribly excited about that prospect.  I’m more interested in seeing Kenta pursue the US title, which I think he could actually win.

I feel like Naito has to lose to ensure that Evil vs. Sanada is for all the marbles.  But I also think it’s telling that most of Naito’s block matches have been very long, getting up near the 30-minute time limit to tease a draw.  A draw for Naito would have the same impact on Evil vs. Sanada as a Naito win, though, so I don’t know if there’s any point to that except to fill time.  This match is kinda hard to read, so I’ll just go with my gut and pick Kenta to win.

Zack Sabre. Jr (5-3, 10 points) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (3-5, 6 points) - Sabre is one of the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions.  Like I said yesterday, Tanahashi and Kota Ibushi have feuded with Sabre and Taichi for the tag title all summer.  Ibushi’s win over Taichi last night could mean a renewal of that program, and if Tana can win beat the other tag champion that would all but clinch it.

If Sabre wins, his 12 points might be enough to match the top score, but none of the potential tiebreaker scenarios work in his favor, so he’s as mathematically elimianted as Tanahashi.  So this is really just about Tana trying to get back into title contention, and Sabre trying to put Tana out to pasture once and for all.  Honestly, as much as I like Tanahashi, I’d prefer to see Zack just win here to get it over with, so he can move on to new business.

Hirooki Goto (4-4, 8 points) vs. Juice Robinson (3-5, 6 points) - Goto is one of the NEVER trios champions, but I think Juice may be less interested in that prize than chasing Kenta’s US title contract.  Neither of these guys can win the block, so it’s all about trying to finish with as many points as possible.  Goto will want to get to a winning record, while Juice would at least like to tie his personal best score of 8 points.  Either of these guys could get the win, but I think it’ll end up going to whomever has the bigger role to play over the next few months.  I have a feeling that’s Juice.

Toru Yano (3-5, 6 points) vs. YOSHI-HASHI (1-7, 2 points) - Yano is the provisional KOPW 2020 champion or whatever that is.  I’m real curious when and how he’s going to defend that thing.  Yoshi is one of the NEVER trios champions, and I bet he’s real glad the KOPW trophy exists to prove the trios belts are no longer the most pointless title in the company.

Yoshi has had a rough run in this year’s G1, which really shouldn’t surprise any of us.  But he is a champion now, so his fans would at least hope for him to get up to 4 points.  It should be feasible for him to pull it off against Yano.  But Yano is the x-factor of B Block and you can never assume he’ll be an easy win. 

I’m less concerned with who wins this thing than with Yano coming up with something genuinely creative.  I’ve been loving his shtick this year, but he’s already gone through most of his bag of tricks, and I don’t want to see him tape a guy to the barricade again just because it’d work.  He should do Yoshi the honor of pulling out something new.

Yuya Uemura vs. Gabriel Kidd - This isn’t a G1 Climax block match--it’s just a prelim match featuring the young boys.  As of last night’s show, Yota Tsuji is leading this informal series, with a 6-4-2 record against the Uemura (5-5-1) and Kidd (4-6-1).  So to you or me it doesn’t seem like it matters who wins this last match.  But among the Young Lions, everything is a competition, so you can beat Kidd and Uemura want to go tooth and nail for second place.  I’m thinking Kidd wins this one.