#i should be able to get over $200 a week so that should cover my car payment

[90th1k1k0m0r1]

im gonna get fired :))

[is-this-yuri]

Please help me survive and escape homelessness.

GFM

KF

CA

I want to be safe by the winter of 2025.

I'm having a difficult time fundraising for my van. Repeated car troubles and various other unexpected issues have eaten into my savings multiple times, and while in a slump I wasn't making as many posts about my situation and I got significantly less donations over the last ~6 weeks on both my gofundme and my kofi/cashapp. While I've 'regained' a lot of what I lost, I've been spending about as much as is coming in. Aside from one instance, my emergency expenses were eaten by my fundraiser savings, which was then gained back about as quickly as I was spending it on my daily expenses. I still haven't reached the goal for the recent $1000 I had to spend on my car.

So far I've lost $2,200 of the $3,100 that's shown on the GFM. I'll be updating the fundraiser to reflect the loss.

I'm autistic and struggle just to meet my basic needs, and despite that I've been denied disability income multiple times. Failing to hold a job (and developing PTSD symptoms from my time being employed), and let down and abandoned by anyone who could support me, I'm left with few resources and few options. I try to make posts when I'm in a good mood, or keep people updated when I'm in a bad mood. I make videos on YouTube, hoping eventually I can show people what their money has gotten for me.

On a good month, I only spend about $600, leaving me some space to save the donations I was previously getting. With winter and the holidays coming, I'm not sure I'll be getting as much money as the warmer months, and I'll be spending more on keeping myself warm and fed over the winter. It will be more like $800/mo now. The only real solution is getting more money than I'm spending, as I'm already spending as little as I safely can.

I'll only take financial advice from someone who has lowered their expenses below mine, with the same disabilities and circumstances as me. What I need is more money, and I don't always have the energy to pay back with art and things like that. I don't even always have the energy to post my pleas for help. I don't have a sponsor to help me make these posts.

I'm in a low energy mode because what can I do with no money? In a state where I have to spend as little as possible, see such slow results, see most of it taken by things outside my control, and somehow keep up hope that this will work?

When I feel safe and have adequate shelter in a van, I'll be able to REST. And then start working harder and making more money one way or another. Whether you think I should suck it up and get a job or you want to see me become a content creator, I need money for any kind of opportunity and I'm just not getting enough.

So, thank you to everyone who's suppported me so far. Thank you to the repeat supports. I'm sorry I had to spend your money on other things. Thank you to the person who covered most of a huge expense I was stressing about a couple months ago. Thank you to the person who sent me $200 to get a hotel and told me to take care of my mental health before saving anything. Thank you to the blogs that have featured my fundraiser in your posts. Thank you to everyone who keeps boosting and cheering me on even though you can't support financially.

I don't know what else I can do to get more people like that to see me. There are so many options on the internet, but it's still a daunting task and as much as I can't really afford to rest, I have to sometimes. Often, in fact.

Please keep boosting this post until my goal is really met. Until I can spend more than $600 a month and actually earn your money rather than beg for it.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 200 }

tender love and care.

sylus x (non mc)fem.reader

because you were labeled as sylus’s woman while here at the n109 zone, you were given several special privileges that made you just as powerful (if not, than more so) as sylus solely because you had such a man wrapped around your fingers.

you recall the date that marked your three month anniversary with him, where sylus gifted you a ruby, teardrop necklace with a matching ring as he told you the significance of his gift immediately,

“each time you walk out to explore the city and head out to work when i’m not around, these rubies will be a reminder to others that you are mine. that you’re under my constant protection, and should anyone dare to disturb your life, i’ll be there to teach them a lesson they shall never forget.”

even the memory of the passion in his voice, coupled along with the way he playfully bites down on your ring finger was enough to make you shiver in response.

the fact that you held his heart within the palm of your very hands filled you with a sense of unbidden joy, where you wanted to do nothing more than to litter his face with gentle butterfly kisses and shower him with the type of unconditional love he had been missing from his entire life.

and you had been with him ever since, never once regretting your decision to remain by his side.

currently, due to certain circumstances at work where several people had called out sick, you were forced to work a double shift. you did your best to cover for your missing coworkers as your supervisor gave you a grateful expression. once your shift ended later that evening, he allows you to take the rest of the week off as a thank you for all your hard work. despite the exhaustion you felt, you couldn’t ignore the undeniable happiness that courses through your veins.

as you step out of your workplace, you were immediately greeted by sylus. he was parked directly in front of your workplace building while leaning against his motorcycle. a grumpy expression was seen on his face, painting his handsome features in a scowl as the sight of it all made you giggle in response. all too eager to see him, you stop directly in front of him and allow his arms to automatically encircle around your form.

“i should kill that boss of yours for making you take over.” he growls into your ear, clearly upset. you tighten your arms around him in hopes of calming him down when you admit to him, “hey, there’s no need to be so grumpy. in fact, my boss was kind enough to give me the rest of the week off thanks to my hard work.”

upon hearing your words, sylus visibly relaxes, pressing a kiss against your lips before tossing you your helmet. it was specially designed in your favorite color, and you couldn’t help but smile at it for a moment as you held your helmet within your hands. sylus ends up donning his helmet first before getting on his bike, turning back to narrow his eyes at you, silently gesturing at you to get on.

with a playful roll of your eyes, you wear your helmet and get on behind sylus, wrapping your arms around his front. he places his hands over your folded arms, giving it a brief squeeze before revving up the bike and making its descent out into the city. knowing that he chose to take the scenic route back home, you take a moment to admire how brightly the city lights shone like gemstones beneath the moonlight. giggles were heard escaping from your parted lips, and oddly enough, sylus was able to hear the sounds of your laughter as he briefly gives your arm another squeeze with one hand before navigating expertly across the streets.

quite some time passes before you and sylus return to your shared penthouse apartment. he parks in his usual spot before taking off his and your respective helmets, holding them both in one hand while interlocking his fingertips with yours in the other. despite how you had been with him for close to two years now, your feelings never once went stale for him. you were just as in love and enamored with him as the first day, the day when you had just met him.

while riding the elevator with him to the top floor, you cuddled your body closer to his shoulder, earning a knowing smirk from him as he gives your hands a gentle squeeze in response. when you both finally reach the top floor, you watch sylus as he takes long strides toward the penthouse all while unlocking it with his key.

the moment you enter your shared home. you were immediately hit with the mouth watering scent of your favorite takeout, seeing it all spread out on the coffee table. you were so happy to enjoy all of your favorite foods with sylus that you couldn’t help but lean in to give him a chaste kiss.

“you’re spoiling me, my grumpy crow.” you tell him while framing at his face.

he scoffs before taking your hand, gently biting down against it with his crimson eyes twinkling with mischief and love for you, “anything for you, darling.”

sylus gestures at you to enjoy the meal first, moving to the side to place his keys on the counter along with storing your helmets. with your stomach growling, you take a box and dig in with your fork while settled on the couch, moaning at how delicious everything tasted. a few minutes later, sylus returns back to you with his arms crossed, clearly amused at the way you kept stuffing your face.

“how cute.” he hums before catching you off guard, choosing to pick you up from the couch as he settles you on his lap. your cheeks were felt heating up in response, yet still, you were comfortable enough to cuddle yourself even closer to his chest while continuing to eat.

you both enjoyed the rest of your late dinner, with you spoiling sylus by feeding him bites of your food and vice versa with him as well. by the time you finished your meal, you felt so full that you could barely move, choosing to land against him when sylus places the empty boxes and utensils on the table.

“what’s this? has my princess had her fill?” you cough at how suggestive he sounded, hiding your face within his shoulder as you playfully bit down against it. a low groan was heard coming from him, and you let out a soft, victorious laugh while telling him, “sy, i’m too tired and full to move… can you carry me?”

he feigns annoyance with a huff of your name, but doesn’t deny you of your wishes (he never could deny you). with a grunt, he stands back to his full height while carrying you in his arms, bridal style. you end up giggling profusely at the sensation, burying your head within his shoulder as he leads you to your shared bedroom and opens the door to the master bathroom.

setting you against the counter, sylus helps with taking off your clothes, leaving you bare for him as he does the same. you were given a moment to admire his delicious body, eyes tracing at the muscles that decorate the entirety of his godlike body. he sees your hungry stare and smirks before taking you in his arms once more. he begins to hum an unfamiliar turn, but you bask in this uncharacteristic softness exuding from the leader of onychinus (a side he only saves for you).

while keeping you in his embrace, he fills his luxurious, porcelain tub with warm water, adding your favorite scented bubbles within it before entering it with you. with his back settled against the tub, your own back was pressed against the front of his chest. you let out a soft moan upon feeling the hot waters surrounding you. the sensation of it coupled with the way sylus’s large hands began massaging at your shoulders was enough to make you practically melt against him.

you were dimly aware of his rich chuckles against your ear, dozing off against his gorgeous body. sylus works on washing your form while lathering your hair with shampoo, the sensation of it all earning a series of soft purrs from you.

“heh, is my kitten satisfied?”

you merely let out a hum in response, moving your head to the side as you allowed sylus to give the newly revealed skin of your neck a series of reverent kisses. once he was satisfied with cleaning you, rinsing your body free of any soap suds, he gets out of the bathtub while still holding you within his embrace.

never once does he leave your side. from drying your body with a plush towel, to helping you get into your sleeping clothes, sylus takes spoiling you with care to the next level. and by the time he reaches your shared bedroom while placing you in bed, you were already half asleep.

as you lay beneath the covers, body curled as you remained cuddled to him, sylus takes a moment to admire you. his long fingertips were felt brushing through your damp hair as he manages to capture a wet strand within his grasp, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss against it.

“i bet you have no idea what you do to me…” his gruff whisper was directed toward you, but it was clear that you were so deep in your slumber that you didn’t hear him. with a huff of your name, sylus reaches over his nightstand to pull out a tiny, velvet box. upon opening it, it would be revealed to contain your dream engagement ring.

as his gaze focuses on you, he takes a hold of your left hand with a hum, sliding the ring against your left ring finger before admiring it. a smirk paints his handsome expression when he leans closer to press a kiss against your ring.

“once you awaken… then you’ll know that my promises of forever has always been true and not simply a play on words. i hope you’re prepared to be mine, my darling love.”

and despite how you were in a deep sleep, sylus could have sworn he saw you smiling in response to his fervent promises of forever.

a.n. - don’t mind me, this is just a self indulgent mess that i need in my life. i love sylus so much;;; i need him so badly 😭

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 18, MAG 18 The Man Upstairs

Thanks for sticking with me with these! I'm much less busy now and will be posting more consistently. I've decided to keep with the Saturday/Monday schedule rather than spamming to catch up, but I might post an extra during the week once and awhile. I also recently went through my old posts and uploaded the spoiler free versions. Thanks, enjoy this MAG 18 analysis!

What an incredible thing to hear after being assigned to a first-floor apartment. Really encouraging, thank you Jonny.

Facts: Statement of Christof Rudenko, regarding his time in the first floor flat of Welbeck House. Statement given December 12, 2008.

Statement Notes: The Magnus Archives is a 200-episode long work of anti-smoking propaganda designed to scare teenagers into never lighting up due to fear of the meat monster. In this essay I will,

In all seriousness, everything that becomes "evil" in TMA smokes. Smoking is consistently the indicator that shit is about to go down. Anytime a cigarette is mentioned, you know someone will disappear under mysterious circumstances in the next 15-20 minutes. So, stay tuned!

The foreshadowing in this episode is really subtle, but that's what makes it so smart. Rudenko has a party during which his neighbors come over and ask him to turn the music down. Presumably, if the walls are thin enough that they can hear Christof's music, they should be able to hear what's going on upstairs--as well as smell it. Yet, they never complain about the hammering or the rotten meat smell. But they're not the victim. The horrors in TMA, in spite of having large scale goals, work in isolated circumstances. They instill huge amounts fear in small numbers of people at a time. There's a practical aspect to this; if 500 people discover meat covered walls in the flats above theirs, there will be enough conversation that the avatar might be found out. But by creating small centers of fear in multiple places through a variety of methods, the entities minimize their exposure while still creating significant amounts of fear. This proves that there has always been an organized mind at work; whether that mind is the entities' or the avatars' is harder to say.

The other aspect of this episode I truly love is one of the most realistic, reoccurring themes of the show: anger can supersede fear. It's essentially a truism that a sufficiently angry human being can overcome any challenge. Spite is God's greatest motivator. Allow a person to become angry enough, and they won't be afraid anymore. Anger is what pushes Rudenko to go upstairs and confront Carlisle, Martin to burn statements, Tim to blow up the museum, and Jon to kill Jonah. But of course, just because you're so angry you stop being afraid, doesn't mean there's nothing to be afraid of. Carlisle gets sick in the upstairs flat, Martin is tortured by Elias, Tim dies, and Jon is somewhere else. Anger treats the symptoms, not the cause of the disease.

Entity Alignment: "Where was he getting the meat?"

It came in boxes. Someone or something was giving it to him. He wasn't ordering it, and he wasn't killing anyone otherwise the institute would have found out.

So where was Toby Carlisle getting the meat?

There's a little movie playing in my head when I think about Carlisle. A movie about a lonely guy in a crappy flat with a crappy life who really doesn't have anything else to do. Then he gets a package. It's unmarked box with no postage and no return address, but it's addressed to him. Inside is frozen meat. It's weird, but he assumes it's steak or pork and puts it in the fridge. Then it keeps coming. His fridge fills, then his freezer, then his whole kitchens full of the stuff. But he still doesn't mind, after all it's something to do. Something to keep him intrigued and busy as life gets duller and duller. It stops coming frozen. It stops being identifiable. He doesn't know why but he's driven to plaster it across his house. It becomes an obsession. It becomes his whole life. It becomes his whole apartment. It becomes who he is.

The Flesh sent a recruitment letter. Toby Carlisle replied. Even he doesn't know where he gets the meat.

Character Notes: Martin is still "out sick." Also Sasha definitely hacked a bank? And everyone is just okay with that? Alright.

[mitigatedchaos]

Biomechanoid Discourse Anon Round-Up

(~1,500 words)

I received 54 anons in response to my short post about biomechanoids that went viral last week, so I've decided to gather some of the ones I actually intend to answer here, in this round-up post.

[ Anon#1 ]

wait are you against fat-body cyborgs?

You may have encountered "fungrams" vs "thetagrams" as synthoid enthusiast slang. This stands for "functional grams" (weight that contributes to the functionality of a body), and "aesthetic grams" (weight that's mostly just aesthetics), respectively. (Just like with a natural human body, there's a bit of a blur between the two.)

Fat Cyborg Activists may, for example, carry an extra 200 kg of glorified silicone padding, causing them to get bumped up a bracket in the combined-force-and-mass classification used in most jurisdictions, since being dive-tackled by a 300 kg Yokozuna-style body even with just a natural human level of strength can be enough to cause serious injury. They then complain about the brackets.

I don't think it should be illegal to carry 200 kthetagrams of articial fat. Fat Cyborg Activists are just deliberately misinterpreting the League of States Charter when they claim that the bracket system should be abolished because it's "a fundamental human right" to weigh up to 500 kg.

Obviously, as I've written before, these rights are an abstraction based on a human range of behavior and capabilities. This is how the courts have always interpreted it in the League, and if a baseliner hit 500 kg the weight would crush his organs to death.

We also need to talk about Neo-Penitents.

A lot of baseliners are Neo-Penitents and refuse tissue engineering. We as cyborgs should not be encouraging them to get that fat. Yes, they will die earlier than they otherwise would die due to refusing treatment. No, we should not be encouraging that to happen more quickly. I don't use tobacco cigarettes, either.

Most children are born to religious natals (including Neo-Penitents). We should mediate the environment so that they don't experience cyborgs as something to fear. (If you're feeling hostile to them and want a cynical reasoning - we depend on recruitment and they outnumber us.)

[ Anon#2 ]

Why are you against age liberation?

Rejeuvenation therapies, biomechanoidization, and kaitosomes prolong personal lifespan, but personal development still happens at different rates for different people.

I disagree with the contemporary reactionary view that life extension techs fundamentally stall out or delay self-discovery and consideration, though I think it can have that effect on some people who forget that they will die. It's a matter of a certain kind of emotional and intellectual sophistication that allows people to learn from observing their own lives (and the lives of others). If you read through early-21st century archives (Twitter is a good example, here), there are a lot of people that made it to their 40s, 50s, and 60s that became older without really advancing all that much intellectually.

So for this reason, a lot of people would really like to reset the clock when they start getting serious (often around 50). (Our society still treats young people as having more potential than old people, among other reasons.)

I sympathize, but there are three problems. First, someone who has been clubbing without much consideration for 30 years has still has a power advantage over someone who is 17 (much less 12, which is favored by more extreme activists). Second, as part of healthy cultural development, each generation should be able to have some of their own culture to help form a stable self-image. Third, the brain is still aging even with rejeuventation therapy, and at increased risk of costly age-related disease and degeneration. That usually isn't covered by state insurance, except for Class IV rejeuvenation, which inherently causes some level of permanent memory loss.

We already had the battle for "age liberation." The compromise was laws that prohibit new bodies from looking under 18 (unless intended for, and used by, literal children), and cryptographically-signed augmented reality chronological age display. (Only a few carveouts have been made, such as the Shanghai Ethnopolity's "R+[years since rejeuvenation]" for Class-IV rejeuvenation.)

What activists are demanding is age unlocking.

They want to be able to claim they are 104. They want to be able to claim they are 14. Because these have certain cultural associations, and they want those cultural associations. You can already refuse to provide a number (which is a trend these days). The whole thing is self-negating.

[ Anon#3 ]

die fascist scum

I get these all the time. Just noting for the record that I delete pretty much all of them. Either make a real argument or move to the World Union.

[ Anon#4 ]

In your post you said you're against allowing biomechanoidization before age 21. Weren't you raised biomech?

It's possible, if expensive, to hold a natal body for an adult. It's even more difficult to do for children, since you have to match growth for growth. (Even if you do a return procedure, you still pretty much have to fit the body for a cyberharness anyway, so it will never be quite the same.)

The current push to "allow children and teens" to "explore their options" through biomechanoidization is because biomech bodies have gotten "too good," and we're in a downturn so people are holding out longer rather than switching or upgrading (or simply refreshing).

For a child's growth trajectory, a company can sell 5-6 bodies, or 3 if they start during the teen years. Biomech bodies don't grow (skeletally, not in terms of muscle/fat). If for any reason manufacturing gets disrupted for a few years, the child could have a really serious problem.

I'm worried it could also disrupt the formation of the child's self-identity, but as you know that's much more politically disputed.

I was raised as an officer for the military of a country that no longer exists. It's not really the same.

[ Anon#5 ]

We read your blog out here printed on paper in Outer Mongolia due to attention regulation laws in our ethnopolity (actually it's just our way of life), where it's distributed as part of a newsletter. I had my friend Dave send this. [Hi! -Dave] What is the difference between "biomechanoids" and "synthoids"?

It's really more of a gradient than a binary.

We can basically divide things into whole-grown bodies (natal bodies, cloned replacement bodies), constructed bodies (biomechanoids, synthoids), dolls (bodies without onboard life support), and static life support systems.

For constructed bodies, every body except for a few high-end specialized bodies uses at least some engineered biological tissue for long-term life support, because it's cheaper, usually more resilient (against some classes of problems), and easier to use to balance the biochemistry of the brain. But the human brain only uses about a fifth to half of the body's resources, so for the rest of the body, the designer has the option to use either synthetic systems or cultured biological tissue.

In general, the more organic tissue is used, the more "biomechanoid" a body is, and the more synthetic systems are used, the more "synthoid." (There's a practical limit to how much of a constructed body can be biological. Constructed body designers have to use a synthetic framework that allows the parts to be grown, printed, or assembled individually, then integrated.)

Biomechanoids usually have lower maintenance costs during the rated lifetime of the body, since biological tissue is self-repairing against minor stress. Synthoids can be more robust against certain kinds of problems, and there's more freedom in the overall design, but their systems have a limited number of uses at time of manufacture because they're generally not self-repairing.

[ Anon#6 ]

what are your thoughts on the new sex variants

They turned out to be a lot easier to create than anyone in the year 2010 would have thought. Those genotypes are out in the wild now, social conservatives are just going to have to learn to deal with it.

As for myself, World Union regulations classify all paramilitary cyborgs as "male," regardless of appearance, and thus subject to "anti-oppression rules." After San Diego changed hands and became part of the League of States, I just never updated my registration.

[ Anon#7 ]

You work for the caveman ethnopolities? The fuck do they pay you with, rice?

Cosmopolitans pay handsomely for artisanal foods, especially animal products. League citizens from higher-tech polities will purchase vacation packages ranging from a few days to spending six months milking cows and working a farm by hand. Low-tech ethnopolity governments also lease out about 10-20% of the land. Cosmopolity governments tend to pay for things that might spill beyond the borders, like environmental remediation.

They can be surprisingly tolerant (as long as they view you as 'just visiting'), but they can be slow to trust, and tend to pull from a small pool of contractors.

Technically there's only one neolithic ethnopolity (though that's really more of a park) and most low-tech ethnopolities are early modern (think 1700s).

But yes, sometimes they do pay in rice.

[my-practiceblog]

If I could start all over pt 2

I had posted a while back on if I started back at age 12 knowing everything I know now, what changes I would make.  That was a long post, but I have a lot more to add, and this probably will not be my last post on the topic either.  This post will focus on money.

Currently we’re still at middle/high school.  I turned 12 in 2007.  As we all know, the recession came in 2008.  I did not have much money at the time, obviously, but I did have some from money my grandpa left me when he died, as well as small savings from allowance, babysitting, birthdays, etc.  After the recession hit I would invest everything I had, leaving myself maybe $100 in savings (I’d be a kid, what do I really need more than that for) in a mix of index funds and FAANG companies.  I would continue babysitting, and attempt to get a job as a lifeguard once I am old enough, and continue putting money into stocks.  As I got a bit older until I graduated college I would leave myself more money in savings for things like eating out and other activities with my friends.  

I would take all my money out of investments the summer of 2019.  I would reinvest everything March 2020.  I would take it all out again fall 2021.  I would slowly reinvest it, putting a bit in each week into Index funds starting September 2022.

I currently have both a Roth IRA and two 401ks (once with my current, one with my former employer).  I believe I started my Roth IRA in 2018 (and have maxed it out each year since), but I actually started working in 2017.  I should have started, and maxed out my Roth IRA in 2017 (even if that means taking money out of my other investments to fund my IRA).  I did, and continue to put a large chunk of my paycheck into my 401k, but I wish I put in even more.  Going back I would get as close to maxing out my 401k as I could without it impacting my spending.  I don’t want to have to lower my standard of living to save more, especially since my standard of living wasn't all that high when I first graduated, but pretty much anything outside of my spending + maybe $200 a month in savings should go to my 401k until it is maxed out  (at least until 2020).  Dependent of how much money I am making in this “new life” if may be much easier for me to max out my 401k, or have way more than $200 leftover for savings, but this is just given that I end up in the same jobs I had, and the content creation career (that I will talk about in my next post) does not go anywhere.

I was very hesitant to spend money when I was in college.  I knew my money was finite, because I didn’t have a job (outside of the summer and a few small paid things throughout the year) so I was always nervous to deplete it.  However, I didn’t realize my entire lifesavings to age 22 I would easily be able to double in just a few paychecks once I got my first real job (or if everything went right with this redo, way sooner than that).  Going back I would have been more willing to spend on fun things with my friends, especially since my parents covered all of my necessities. I wouldn’t want to go overboard or anything, but at least going out to eat with my friends whenever they asked.  Once I get my first job and am earning a real paycheck I would figure out an actual spending plan.

I bought a condo in the winter of 2021.  While ideally if I started over I would have way more money/options, no matter what I still would buy this same condo exactly when I did.  The only change I would make is putting in an offer sooner and maybe for $5000 less than what I bought it for.  Currently I share this apartment with a roommate.  If I do end up at my same job with my same salary I would want to keep that the same, only putting stricter cleaning rules in to place when she first moved in.  But she’s moving out this summer and while she’s lived here she has traveled a ton and I have regularly had the apartment to myself which has been great, especially since living with her hasn’t had any big issues.  However, if I had much more money I would still want to have bought this apartment with the interest rate I got it for, but instead I would not live here and rent the whole apartment out.  I would live either in the city or somewhere warm, but I will get into that in a future post I’m sure.

Not going to get into it, but I would also warn my dad against his former partner, and encourage him to break up that partnership as soon as possible (at least by my sophomore year).  If that were the case certain things I paid for my parents probably would have instead, and other things they would not have struggled with.

Okay that’s it on this one, I’m sure money will come up more down the line, but here are all the big things.

[hyperdragon97]

So last night I did one last job application that I might have a chance with. The work is doable, the commute is shorter, the benefits and bonuses are solid, the pay is viable, and the sign-on bonus alone would cover my rent for a month and then some if it weren't distributed across the first 6 months. The application process was by far the easiest I've ever seen.

I don't know when exactly my shift would be, but the job posting says 2nd shift. I'm assuming that's not going to interfere with my sister's morning shift, so while she's still here I should be able to use the car we share. By the time she's ready to move out, I should be able to get a car for myself or buy hers outright.

Of course, that all assumes that I get an interview and/or job offer before I'm forced to move out for not being able to pay rent. It's $1,180, due on September 1st, and can only be extended for another 2 weeks with a 10% late fee. Between my plasma donations and my sister's paychecks, we've only managed to raise about $500 after other bills. I also had to ignore the power bill earlier in the month, so when that comes around again our electricity will be shut off until I can pay what's past due. That's over $200 at the very least, $400 if I pay last month and this month's power bill at the same time.

Last I checked, my bank account was sitting at -$46.15, but thanks to a Ca$hApp donation from a friend, that hole will be getting $25 shallower on Monday. That leaves a total of $1,058.85 to be raised before Monday to avoid late fees on rent and get fully caught up on electricity, leaving my future plasma donations and my sister's paychecks free to cover other expenses for the rest of the month.

I know I have no right to ask this. There are plenty whose situations are far more dire than mine, and who likely are more deserving of help. But please, if you can spare it, send something my way on Ca$hApp. I'm planning on creating a monument of some kind in the Minecraft world I'm streaming to thank everyone who donates, with colored and illuminated signs detailing each donor's name and contribution.

If you don't have Ca$hApp, signing up with this link and sending someone $5 within 14 days will give both of us an extra $5.

Lastly, if you don't have cash to spare, but still want to help, just watch things on my YouTube channel. Put my streams on in the background. Binge my old Gmod animations, comic dubs, and voice-acting challenges. Comment your thoughts and leave a like. Any amount of engagement helps me in the algorithm and gets me closer to possibly monetizing my channel.

[graysquirrel7]

And to go further, because this is a pet peeve of mine:

One of the core elements used in medicine and "fitness" programs is BMI. A system that was invented by a mathematician, not a physician, who used a very small sample size of a very specific population to try and draw conclusions.

Even he, the inventor of BMI, said it should not be used for individual evaluation.

Yet it's what we do. To the point of using the BMI chart to ignore all other indicators.

For example, I spent 20-30 minutes filling out a health questionnaire related to "ways I can improve my fitness" that featured questions like:

How many sugary drinks do you drink a day (on average) -- zero (0); to include fruit juices.

How much activity per day do you do (on average) -- I walk an average of 3-5 miles per day and visit a gym to climb or train for climbing 4-5 times per week for 2-3 hours at a time. My fitness app tracks my activity level over a week, and accounting for rest days, I still average 2.5-3 hours of physical activity per day.

What is your height/weight? -- 71"/200#

Note that while answering questions like those first two, the questionnaire churns along like "okay, so you're active and mindful of what you're eating and drinking." Yet as soon as it gets the height and weight answer, it immediately runs a BMI calculation and comes back with a "here's what we recommend for improving your fitness" list that includes:

You are overweight -- really? What are you basing this on? I am not an idle teenage farmboy in 18th Century Central Europe. I never was. Never will be. When my weight is down in the "normal" range for my height, I am weaker, have less stamina, less physical capacity in general, and am more likely to get sick.

Cut back on sugary drinks -- how do you cut back from zero?

Get at least 90 minutes of activity per week -- listen you useless piece of shit, I'm getting between 150 and 180 minutes of activity per day on average.

This is even moreso for friends of mine whose ancestry comes from outside of Europe. The only way they clear the BMI hurdle is by being so underweight that they're in danger of malnutrition, dehydration, and other famine-related symptoms.

When I was in the army, some of the bigger soldiers I worked with were immensely powerful. No amount of remedial exercise was helping them actually lose weight. Cutting their rations actually made them sicker and a lot less able to do their job.

Very similar to comparing the actual strongman competitors to the people frequently put on the covers of fitness/bodybuilding magazines, the adoption of BMI as a metric and the subjective image evaluation does not actually promote fitness and health.

People who have trained for strength will have built up their core and posterior chain in order to have stability under load; they will look thicker and have a higher mass-to-height ratio. People who engage in sustainable health and fitness practices who happen to fall within those parameters are not the normal. The people on display in Men's Health-type magazines and in male power fantasy movies as "being strong" are actually very weak and in danger of organ failure during those photo and video shoots.

I gave my soapbox speech about how weight loss is mostly bullshit to two different patients in a row yesterday and so help me I’m pretty sure one of these days someone is going to say “but SURELY you agree I’d be HEALTHIER if I lost weight!” bc you can see the disbelief in their eyes. And like. Sure, maybe! You might see some improvement in biomarkers like LDL and A1c, and your knees would probably feel better. But you would be amazed at how much more good you can do for yourself by focusing on things you can actually meaningfully change without resorting to making yourself miserable. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables—it’s hard bc they’re more difficult to prepare and more expensive per calorie and go bad faster than other foods, but they’re what we evolved eating the most of so they’re what our bodies need the most of. And walk around more; sure, cardio is great for you, but if it sucks so bad you don’t do it, it isn’t doing shit for you. And we evolved to walk very very long distances, a little bit at a time, so our bodies respond actually very well to adding walks into our schedules, which is vastly easier than adding workouts that are frankly designed to be punishing when the definition of punishing is “makes you less likely to do it again in the future.”

You get one life. It is shorter than you can begin to imagine. Don’t waste it hating yourself because somebody is going to make money off that self-hatred. You deserve better than to be a cash cow for billionaires who pay aestheticians and dermatologists to make them (or at least their trophy wives) look thin and beautiful no matter what they actually do.

[salty-accords]

Post-Helene Update (Oct. 10th)

Since Helene rolled through the Southest United States, namely Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Tennessee, a lot has happened.

I can’t speak for those in other states, as keeping up with the Western North Carolina news is, at this point, its own necessary chore, but here’s what we know about the devastation and the recovery in WNC.

According to official reports, across the six states that were hit by Helene and continue to face the devastation of it, over 200 people have been confirmed dead. Over half of those people were in North Carolina, where our rivers flooded and fast water has destroyed entire communities. K-9’s and cadaver dogs have been out searching for victims, regardless of life status, for over a week now. Hundreds are still missing, and there have been difficulties identifying some of the dead.

President Joe Biden has set over 1,500 active-duty soldiers in the NC National Guard to join in the recovering efforts in North Carolina. They’re helping to deliver supplies, food and water to isolated communities.

There was significant damage to the lower land of the historic Biltmore Estate, including their farm. Overall, the Estate is mostly fine—some wind damage to their forested area—and people who worked there should be able to return to their day-to-day relatively easily in that regard. My heart goes out to those in more affected employment—it’s a stressful time financially, and Buncombe County is far from rich, so I’m thankful to the Recovery and Aid funding my community has been receiving to help support our long-term survival.

I encourage everyone effected financially by this disaster to contact your utility and internet/phone providers—many people are getting grace periods from companies, and if you live in an effected area like WNC, you might be able to have one less thing on your plate this month.

Speaking of, the severe flooding in WNC has stirred up colonies of yellow jackets, a stinging insect that many people are allergic to. These little fuckers are important for the ecosystem, and they’re out of home like many of us are, but please, keep your EpiPens and Benadryl on hand, and know where your friends keep their allergy kits—stings are more likely right now, and NC health officials are stocking allergy treatment to help address the issue, but practice caution when walking about, especially near dryer ground and wooded areas. Do not kick logs, move trees, over stamp on the ground unnecessarily without some protective clothing or precautions in place. Even for someone who isn’t allergic, a swarm of angry yellow jackets can be brutal, especially if you don’t have the means to treat the stings.

(To remove stingers and thorns from your skin, mix a few tablespoons of corn starch with a little less cold water—clean water—until you’ve got a thick, wet paste. Dab the paste on the sting or thorn sight and let sit and dry for about 10-20 minutes. Carefully remove the dried paste—it’ll be the consistency of a strange, dry crumbly cookie—and the thorn/stinger should be brought out with it. Clean with soap and warm water at least, but an alcohol wipe or hydrogen peroxide is preferable. Cover the injury with a bandage or gauze and salve.)

If you need further medical care, Mission Hospital in Asheville was only about 20% over capacity last week, and well-staffed considering the circumstances, and they’re steadily returning to normal operations. They’ll treat anything from toothache to trauma to allergic reactions. There are several disaster relief medical teams in the area helping our care providers and medical staff to keep people healthy and whole, so don’t feel like you’re a burden if you’ve only got something minor—it’s their job to help you, it’s what they went to school for and what they’ve dedicated a good portion of their lives to. Be polite, have respect for them and their time, and treat people with dignity. Then you’re good to go.

For those with prescriptions, you may be able to make use of the Emergency Prescription Assistance Program (EPAP), which could enable you to request a 30-day supply of some prescription medication at EPAP-participating pharmacies. Your prescription could be renewed every 30 days while the EPAP is active, and the program also pays for certain types of medical equipment and supplies, such as mobility aids, blood sugar meters, and blood sugar test strips—some vaccinations might also be covered. This program is for those who are completely uninsured—Medicaid, Medicare, Children’s Health Insurance Plan, and any other insurance disqualify you from the EPAP. I’ll cover this more thoroughly when I can.

Madison High School at 5740 US-25 in Marshall; Boone Drug and Healthcare at 345 Deerfield Road in Boone; 535 Morris Road in Brevard; and 315 Bethal Church Road in Mocksville are all potential spots for you to get your prescription refilled. Please call and ask your pharmacy for more information specific to your situation.

More on supplies, the Mountain Mule Packer Ranch is sending pack animal trains into the area, delivering things like ice for insulin, food and water, to the Swannanoa region. Thank you funky little dudes so much—I never thought I’d be so thankful for mules, but here I am. Tractor Supply and Food Lion locations have also been working with the Packer Ranch and their teams of mules to load up supplies. These amazing animals and their riders can reach people separated by washed away mountain roads that folks on foot or wheels just can’t right now, and they’re truly doing amazing work. Please, if you’re one of those people who can’t be reached by usual means right now, and you need supplies, don’t shy from reaching out to the Ranch—they’re good folks, dedicated, and I’ll link their Facebook down below.

Now, to address some of the fuckery… FEMA is not the same as the Shelter and Services Program—the SSP is administered by FEMA, yes, but it is funded through U.S. Customs and Border Protection, as directed by Congress. The SSP gives financial support to non-federal entities to provide shelter and related services to migrants following their release from the Department of Homeland Security. FEMA works with this program, yes, but they do not have control over it—Border Protection, Congress, and Homeland Security are much more involved as far as funding and allocation goes.

There are also over two dozen dams in the Western North Carolina area. On Sunday night, October 29th, in the Asheville area, there was a government level hoax that one of the dams in the area was actively breaking—it was not. It was horrifying; my entire campus was shaken and frantic. I recommend familiarizing yourself with the Dam Hazard Potential Classification of your local dams—there is significant risk of loss of life in these areas and they may be prone to flooding. Research your local dams and those of your family/friends, and come up with a game plan as to whether or not it’s needed for you to evacuate the area early in case of large storms, like Helene, in the future.

There’s also been something pretty significant happening next door in Tennessee: the Bureau of Investigation, as well as OSHA, have opened investigations into Impact Plastics, an Erwin plastics factory where at least three people died and ten went missing due to flooding from Helene. According to surviving employees, and families, the company threatened to fire anyone who left early on Friday night, September 27th. Dozens of Impact Plastics workers were trapped in the building; the flood waters had already risen to cover the parking lot and roads by the time they got the call to leave. The company denied flood warnings and alerts were issued at the start of the workers’ shift, even though there were flood warnings up and down the region from Tuesday onward. According to the company, these allegations are false—it’s hard to believe with dozens of people affected by this tragedy saying the same thing, though. In pictures of the plant after the flooding receded, you can see clearly the amount of damage that was wrought—paneling on the sides torn up and half-off, debris all over, the roads and grounds washed out. Words mean little in a time like this, I know, but my heart goes out to the families and the victims of this.

---

Description:

It’s over a week post-Helene, and post-evacuation for me. I’m trying to do my part and compile some information for folks—please, if you can, relay this to folks who don’t have internet or cell service. A lot of people don’t have access to communications right now, and it’s important for information like this to be accessible. If anybody in your life has limited internet access, this video will be uploaded to my YouTube channel, and the transcript (and full copy of the description) to my Patreon, Ko-Fi, and Tumblr for free. This is a tragedy, full stop, and I refuse to put any of this information behind a paywall.

If you need resources, I’ve listed/linked some below.

Mountain Mule Packer Ranch - (910) 885-1402 - info@mountainmulepackers.com - https://www.facebook.com/mountainmulepackersranch.

NBC News Live Updates from Initial Coverage Period - https://www.nbcnews.com/news/weather/live-blog/hurricane-helene-live-updates-rcna173767.

Healthcare Info - https://www.wral.com/story/hurricane-helene-leaves-western-north-carolina-hospitals-overwhelmed-federal-relief-arrives/21663631/ - https://aspr.hhs.gov/epap/Pages/default.aspx.

How to Help - https://www.fema.gov/press-release/20240928/how-help-after-hurricane-helene.

Hospitals and Supplies -

Prescription refills:

Madison High School at 5740 US-25 in Marshall

Boone Drug and Healthcare at 345 Deerfield Road in Boone

535 Morris Road in Brevard

315 Bethel Church Road in Mocksville

Hospitals and Care Tents:

Cannon Memorial Hospital, Avery County, NC

Medical Support Center in Caldwell County, NC

Watauga Medical Center, Boone, NC

Boone Medical, Boone, NC

Avery Medical, Newland, NC

Boone Dental, Boone, NC

Mission Hospital, Asheville, NC

Blue Ridge Regional Hospital, Spruce Pine, NC

Please, if you can, give to the Hurricane Relief Fund - https://gofund.me/8e1e9ae8.

---

This video was created using free resources from CapCut.

If you’re able, donating to my post-evac goal on my Ko-Fi would help me out a lot—I’ve gotta go back to school sooner or later, and I buy about all my own food (split with some friends), but we’re all out a lot of money because most of us work in the area. I’m gonna need groceries, and there isn’t much work to be had right now, given the time restraints. https://ko-fi.com/gemmasun/goal?g=0.

If you’re more interested in my services, I do editing and formatting, and give feedback on prose up to 5000 words, all through my Ko-Fi, so you can check that out. https://ko-fi.com/gemmasun/commissions.

My Linktree: https://linktr.ee/salty.unicorn.

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Slippery Slope

You know ... we used to be adequately staffed. When people had emergencies, we used to be able to cope. I remarked on this at the time, how frankly this was really awesome and the way places should be run. Aaaaaaaaaand now we don't have that safety net anymore and we struggle to keep up even when everyone is here, and no one sees the problem with this.

See, Scruffman went on annual leave for a week and a half - came back Wednesday. We somehow managed to curb some of the most egregious bullshit that our on-site typists have going on and kept up with things despite them covering other stuff. I mean, sort of. Thing is, our doctors are putting out over 200 dictations a day, and it's kind of an issue to even keep it so that we're less than a day behind. Especially when the little twerps come in on the weekend.

I got an email from Scruffman this morning going, "Oh, hey, by the way, [New Girl] isn't in today and [Temp] is on a half-day. Just to give you the heads-up. Which ... I mean, I get that emergencies happen, and I figure they must have been emergencies due to how little notice there was, but fuuuuuuuuck.

Ironically, though? My actual number of cases typed went up. Why? Because New Girl and Temp weren't around to pinch all the short cases. I can blow through those in no time at all, so numerically, I came off better. On the other hand, I also had to type up at least ten cases from Placenta Guy. Also some other stuff from Placenta Guy, and he and the new junior doctor who sounds like she should be auditioning for the Chipettes from Alvin and the Chipmunks both need to learn how to flag a case as urgent on our transcription system. Eight liver and kidney cases, two breast cases, and a fucking lung biopsy, which everybody avoided because even though they're short, they're also dictated by two of our Annoyances. So I got them and even if there hadn't been a big ol' URGENT sticker on the request form, even I know that core biopsies from those particular organs almost always get highlighted in red in the queue.

I haven't mentioned this to Scruffman, mostly because the one issue I did point out to him - namely how two of our Annoyances don't ever bother doing an actual block key - has gone unresolved. I guess he knows the feeling of "complaining about something and no one doing anything about it", since one of the other issues is that our transcription software fucks up an awful lot, dumping things from months ago back into the queue for no apparent reason, and IT apparently can't or won't do a damn thing about it. So I just dump them into the archive and have done.

Don't even get me started on the server.

Basically, we were doing really well for awhile, but one thing apparently led to another, and we hit the slippery slope down to "just as frankly shit as everywhere else". We need at least one more typist for the number of new junior doctors we've got in lately, but we aren't getting one, no matter what we talked about in our first staff meeting. And now I am fucking exhausted and still have to cook dinner. Woe.

[jhtechgeek2011]

Better and worse right now

I am back and things are both better and worse right now. I have found some things that help, like accommodations at school and tutoring, breaking things down, rewarding myself for what I complete, and a really solid planner/schedule/journaling system that works pretty well for me. I have been getting a lot of work done around the house lately and I finally finished English Comp 1. I passed but just barely.

Work is not going at all well yet. I am still getting 3 days a week and not being able to really use my accommodations at work like I should be able to. It just gets worse and worse for me at my job and I feel like it's killing me in pieces. I end up in so much pain by the 3rd of my work days that I can hardly walk and am completely drained. The pain lingers around in various stages of severity until I have to go back and do it again. I can't stand the place and don't want to return but I have no options. I am getting my unemployment and I wouldn't even be able to make ends meet if I didn't.

I wish I could just get the help I need not to work myself into the ground all the time. I really wish I could just get a job where I don't have to stand up where it's actually just a seated job and works with my skills and limitations rather than working against my limitations and not utilizing all of my skills. It shouldn't have to be this doggone hard just to live, It truly shouldn't. I would get SSI I am eligible but I worry that I will just get a no because my income and unemployment combined are too much. It really sucks that they look at that before they look at your medical issues. I just wish I could stop working and still have money to live on, that's all I want. Winning the lottery would be SO great, but those odds are so bad I don't even want to go there.

The car wash guys are still being their usual obnoxious selves but it got hot enough for my AC unit to go in the window so I can drown them out much better now with my fan and AC on. They still get right under my apartment window and smoke though which is annoying when I do open my window because it's cooler out and I don't necessarily need AC to have to smell their weed on my nice breeze. I am so tired of these guys that's one of the many reasons my boyfriend and I are saving up to move out as much as we can each paycheck because we GOTTA be out of here before we need heat again. The heat here is ridiculous and we don't want to spend another winter dealing with it.

Another thing frustrating for me right now is I can't afford my new glasses and I can't see very well at all right now. My prescription changed a LONG time ago, and my year between annual eye exams and insurance-covered glasses passed in February. My insurance doesn't cover my vision needs well at all. My glasses are STILL over $400 even with the insurance because they only cover 30% and my eye exam was basically $200. The contact lens eye exam isn't even covered so I couldn't even get an updated contact prescription to do that instead. They also cost an arm and a leg but are less than my ridiculous ass glasses. This is ridiculous, it shouldn't be this hard to get the very thing I need to be able to actually see.

Finally, I just want to say that life shouldn't have to be this hard, and stupid, toxic, fake people shouldn't make it worse. People just want to take everything they can and give nothing in return. So many people only call when they want something. Other than that you don't even hear from them and especially when you need something they're nowhere to be found. A lot of people are only your friend for what they can get out of it, and it sucks. All the fake, toxic, stupid, hating people need to get a life, and stay out of mine, seriously. Until next time, when you see what's going on next with Just Jen.

[softertoday]

i'm going to rant for a moment about therapy and insurance so please forgive me, and feel free to scroll on past this lol

it's very frustrating trying to find a new therapist. a lot of them are out-of-network with all insurance providers. my insurance doesn't cover out of network providers at all, so when they say they offer a superbill to file on your own with insurance, that doesn't help me because my plan won't reimburse me at all. some of them offer a sliding scale option, which is nice, but not all of them do. i am not currently working while i'm in school. so i just cant afford to pay $150 - $200 per session with a therapist.

i just want a therapist who has experience working with neurodiverse adults, and i would really love someone who offers art therapy. but that doesn't seem to be an option for me because they are all out of network.

the only one i could find that has a sliding scale is located 3 hours away from where i live and i would need to do telehealth with her, which is fine for regular talk therapy, but art therapy would be a little different (weird) over telehealth.

i'm frustrated because for one, i really honestly believe that every provider, whether they are a medical provider or mental health provider, should be in network with all insurance providers, and file the claims for you. its bad enough that some people cant even afford insurance, but if you're lucky enough to have insurance, you should be able to use it with everyone.

and secondly, i'm frustrated because my insurance plan doesn't cover out of network providers at all and i don't have any chance of getting reimbursed for any of the payments i would be making. i would take the superbill and submit the claim myself, i don't care about that extra work and time, but it wouldn't even matter with the plan i currently have.

and the other thing that really really makes me upset, is that i've had to start over with a new therapist 5 times in less than a year. I've had 5 different therapists since this time last year. most of them have been throughout my different treatment stays since june of last year, but regardless, i've not had a steady therapist for more than a month or two in a whole year.

i met a really nice therapist here when i came home from treatment, and he worked at a place that offered a really significant sliding scale, so i could afford to see him. he was really great. we only had sessions for a couple months and then he moved to a new practice and didn't take his clients with him. he helped me more than any other therapist i've ever had in such a short amount of time and i really liked him. i'm sad that i have to start over again.

the new therapist that he recommended to me is at the same practice, so i can afford it, but he doesnt schedule weekly sessions. he will only schedule 2-4 weeks out. and that might be ok, im not sure yet (we'll see how it goes i guess?) but im just... sad.

i'm gonna stop looking for an art therapist. its pointless. i cant afford it. i will just continue to bring a coloring book and markers to my regular sessions.

[thiscoffeelooksbiracial]

financial check-in week of 12/4

So I made it through the holiday week. I would have fared better if I hadn't visited the fam, but togetherness is worth spending 4x what I normally would on food.

I did spend a lot last week once my check posted. This was spurred on by only needing to pay $372 in rent this month. The office put my holding deposit towards the rent so I had money to burn.

The smart thing to do would have been to save a large chunk for my middletown rent, but I am not smart. Instead I put the money towards furnishing the apartment. I managed to get a tv stand, baker's rack, and microwave for $231 shipped. I also placed two La Colmbe orders for black friday, so I've got coffee for a while. I also bought exercise equipment, drip and pour over coffee makers, and some groceries from amazon fresh. I originally planned to save these purchases for later, but now I can budget for other expenses.

Major expenses to be covered by the check on 12/8:

Klarna: $54.27

Paypal: 85.04

So I'll need 139.31 after expenses in my SoFi account to cover my payment plans. The great news is that these are the final payments for those orders🙌🏾

I plan to go back to middletown this week. I have $118 in my sofi right now so after my paycheck I'll have $518 if I don't spend anything else. Minus the recurring payments and savings funds is roughly $350 to put towards middletown rent.

I have $399 in my other account right now and should be able to take the 200 needed to cover the rent and still be able to pay for the apartment expenses only using that account.

If I manage to knock everything out this week, Then I can just chill up here next week until I need to head down for EOY shutdown.

I'll still be on track to start my accelerated cc payments starting the week of the 22nd. I might even start them on the 15th when my capital one cards are due, just to start being disciplined. $175 a week would be $700 a month for my credit cards. Our credit will improve in no time. Once I start having more disposable income, I can afford to pay minimums plus that amount just to pay things down faster.

Then I can put that same amount towards an emergency fund. My goal is to be debt free with a 6 month emergency fund by the end of June.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer: can you fucking believe them?! Dad- the actual fuck! I kept this in for Adam- but seriously!?

Teddy: I'm sorry, son, really. But we both knew Adam would have been punished for this, and when you think about it, it's not too harsh when you think about it. Michael told me what they planned to do to Adam. So you should be thanking the Lord it wasn't as bad as it could be.

Lucifer: yeah I... I guess... but what happens in a few months? What happens if Adam goes to give birth and I'm not there? What if... what if he needs me- I'll miss my babies being born-

Teddy watched as his son collapsed onto the couch, covering his face.

Teddy sat next to him, and rubbed his back.

Teddy: Lucifer... Adam is strong, we both know this. He's done this before-

Lucifer: but this time is different! He said it himself- I can feel it- I can feel them- when I'm with him, I can feel them...

Teddy: Lucifer, calm down and think. Please. How many children does Adam have?

Lucifer: ... I don't know... a few hundred?

Teddy: let's say 200. He can handle it. I know you want to be there, and I'm sure Adam wants you to be there to. But all you can do is make Adam comfortable while your there. Do housework, make dinners, do washing, get the babies room ready, clean their clothes. Just do everything you can, son. And who knows, Adam may be able to time the birth. Wait for you to be there

Lucifer: ...yeah... you're right... do you really think he'd be able to time it?

Teddy: he was a nun for over 300 years... so yes. I think he can

Lucifer and Teddy share a hug. Lucifer never thought he'd be sharing a moment like with with his dad, but he was so happy he was here.

Lucifer: ...so... you and Michael?

Teddy: don't ask, son

A few days later, Lucifer was grabbing his bag from his bed. He was too excited, he almost forgot his dad's gift for the babies. He ran- walked down stairs. He could here Trddy and Michael in the kitchen, talking about something. It was so weird having Michael be in a relationship with his dad but he was starting to get use to it.

Lucifer: dad! Michael! I'm getting ready to go!

Teddy: alright son, do you have my gift?

Lucifer was going through his bag, looking for the crystal.

Lucifer: yes-

Michael: tell Adam I'll be there in a few days, I'll bring my gift then

Lucifer: okay Michael, I will- here is it!

Lucifer pulled out the crystal and zipped his bag up.

Teddy and Lucifer shared a hug. With a few goodbyes, Lucifer got ready to open a portal. He glanced behind him and saw that Michael and his dad were watching him, staying until he left. He hated doing this infront of them. He slowly caressed the crystal, it seemed to work quicker when he licked it- but he's not doing that.

After a few strokes, the portal opened, and he turned to wave to his dad and Michael before hopping through the portal.

Lucifer: Addie! I'm home!

He heard nothing. Everything was quiet. Lucifer put his bag down on the floor and walked around, calling Adams name. There weren't even any imps around.

Lucifer: Adam?!

Lucifer rushed into the kitchen, and there he saw Adam cooking. He smiled and watched his partner for a bit.

Just as he was about to make himself know, Adam turned around.

Adam jumped, screamed and threw a knife at him. Lucifer was easily about to duck out of the way, Adam's aim has never been good.

Adam: Lucifer!? Are you trying to get killed!?

Lucifer: You couldn't hit me even if I stood still, babe

Lucifer stood and made his way over to Adam.

Adam: that's rude. Why didn't you tell me you were coming!? I'm just starting dinner!

Lucifer went to kiss him, only to be picked up by Adam. Lucifer chuckled as Adam almost squeezed the life out of him.

Adam: how do these weeks go so fucking slow!

Lucifer: I know babe- but I have an idea!

Adam put Lucifer down and he ran to get his bag, when he returned he placed it on the table.

Adam: what's your idea? Nothing stupid I hope- LUCIFER!

Lucifer pulled out a gun. Where the fuck did he get that?!

Lucifer: I'll shoot myself! Then I'll die! And come here!

Adam: no-! Are you insane! Put that away!

Lucifer: why not? I'll- be able to be here, with you!

Lucifer put the gun away, looking sadly at Adam.

Lucifer: I want to be here- when the babies come- and I want to raise them with you, not doing one week on, one week off- it's frustrating, Addie!

Adam: I know baby- but please-

Adam walked over to him and pulled Lucifer close. He eyes the gun and snapped it away, imhe sint risking anything.

Adam: you have a life, Luci. Please live it! The babies and I aren't going anywhere, and they'll know who you are-

Lucifer: it's not fair, Adam. I feel like I'm going to miss so much

Adam: we'll work something out, baby, I promise.

Lucifer began to cry into Adam, hugging him tighter. Adam felt so crushed. He's never regretted anything more than taking over the Vatican. If he didn't, he'd be on Earth with Lucifer. He ran his hands through Lucifer's hair. He held him for as long as Lucifer cried.

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

---

Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

[sparrowpharoh]

~Mutual Aid Request~

So let's start with the good news. I have a job starting this sunday (8/28). If the universe aligns in a merciful way, I should be getting my first paycheck on the sixteenth of September.

More likely than not that check will largely be consumed by the multitude of overdue and neglected expenses I have been unable to pay for, so how much of a finish line that date serves as remains to be seen. I may well have another two weeks beyond that before I actually have any real usable income.

BUT! Now is not the time for pessimism! Now is the time for hope, and may despair take the week off for a change. For now, my only obstacle is getting through the next few weeks.

Yesterday I spent the remainder of my available cash on as much groceries as I could afford to get through until then. Today I did the math and everything together is barely over 2k calories.

I do not think that will stretch over the next 20+ days.

I am looking into local food banks but I'm in a rural area, so even 'nearby' places mean a decent amount of driving and therefore gas. I currently only have enough gas to cover maybe a week max of commuting to work, if that. In addition there are other complications with food because I'm living in a stationary bus with limited electricity. My only means of cooking or boiling water involves making a fire, so I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. I have no refrigeration and am in a constant state of war with the neighboring mouse and ant populations which make storing any food that isn't canned difficult and risky.

As far as medications I am immensely relieved to say that I have a surplus of my psychiatric meds. But I have only a couple days left of my HRT, which frankly does jus as much if not more for my mental health and stability.

If anyone who sees this is able to help, I will be eternally grateful. But if you can't, please, don't let this add to your stress. If you would feel guilt for not being able to help the whole of the earth with only two hands, then there is something you can do to help me, and that's to help yourself. Let your own wounds heal first and know that doing so will make us all stronger as a rising tide lifts all ships.

But if you do have the means to offer assistance, my cshapp is $SparrowPharoh and I also have a PP and Vnmo I can tell over DM. Or jus spreading this so someone else who might have more means to offer has the chance to see it as well.

$54/200 (tentative goal)

The work seems endless and every victory carries three more challenges with it. But there is light in the distance. I know there is.