#i shall continue tomorrow most likely

[fayehartz]

me whne i come back once in a lifetime to like sp posts and leave once more

[sickxsickxsick]

auuuugh

[sorryimananti-romantic]

saurrr what do we need to do to get that deleted scene??? 👀🤲🏼

beg.

LJHDFJGHKJ KIDDING you asked and i shall serve with not only the deleted scene but two bonus scenes:

from the fic guerrilla (serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader)

wc: 4k

notes: surgeon yunho who just so happens to be a serial killer (a vigilante with morals if you must), reader is a writer working on gory crime fiction novels, they are housemates, fluffy stuff, talks about therapy, questionable morals, honestly very questionable morals, smut at the end (minors and anyone not comfortable with dark themes do not interact with the third section

"oh, you're home. almost didn't hear you," you said when you spotted yunho coming down the stairs. in the past few months, you had learned quite a few habits of his, one being that he could be as silent as a feather at times.

which was a bit scary, but you supposed it was just a natural skill of his.

"of course you didn't. you were humming something while you cooked," yunho stood near the counter, looking around and you muttered a silent curse- no wonder you didn't hear him. "need help?"

"yeah, if you could just set the table," you said and yunho obeyed instantly, taking out the utensils and scooping the dishes while you told him about your day- mail arrived, you befriended a stray cat that has now found home in your backyard, you went shopping for grocery today and got the stuff yunho had requested you to buy for him.

and while you ate, yunho said his thanks for saving him a trip to the grocery store and told you about his day- he went to assist a professor from his previous job in a complicated surgery upon his request. you told him he looked fond of that professor and he admitted that he owed most of his surgery skills to him and he often called him to assist him.

and just like that, you finished your meals and you started clearing the kitchen and washing the dishes while he went to the backyard to bring the laundry inside. it was the weekend and you wondered if yunho would join you in the living room just to hang out or watch something. or would he be too tired and just say goodnight and leave?

he stayed. he slumped down on the couch and took out his phone, probably responding to texts. you silently joined on the other end and turned on your laptop which opened to your document and reminded you of the question that had been looming over your head the entire day. you glanced at yunho but he seemed absorbed in his phone and you sighed- maybe you'll just ask him tomorrow-

"is something the matter?"

he didn't have to be that observant. you straightened. "nothing. just wanted to ask you something related to the book- but it can wait."

"you can ask me, y/n."

"you seem busy and tired, though..." your voice faltered when he shot you with a challenging look.

"never too busy for your weird questions."

"oh," you laughed a little and when he set his phone aside to focus on you, you stifled a satisfactory smile. "okay, so remember what i told you last time? the cop who's also a criminal, he's targeting the main character- the detective now. he finally baits her into entering the abandoned warehouse where she thought she would find some druggies."

"yes, and the warehouse doesn't have much space to run because of the abundance of shelves so when she's looking around, she keeps thinking she's hearing something- which is actually the criminal riling her up and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike."

"yes," you smiled. "now, he's going to attack, and another unfortunate cop who accompanied our detective is going to get killed by him while trying to protect the detective. so that gets the detective all messed up in her head and she's lost her gun but there's a dagger lying on the floor- remember the dagger i showed you for reference?"

yunho nodded and you continued. "the detective aims to hurt the criminal, not kill, but the lines must be blurred so when she is questioned about her motives, she wonders if she actually intended to kill the man."

"because there's the fact that the criminal is her colleague and that could have worsened her anger. she might have actually wanted to kill him," yunho recalls.

"exactly," you shift in your position so your legs are tucked under you. "now... where would the detective stab him? self defense, anger, confusion, all these elements."

yunho hummed in thought, his eyes running all over your body. something you had noticed that whenever he answered one of your questions, he would envision them on you. that might have made you a flustered mess in the beginning when his eyes would fixate on a spot on your body but it didn't really bother you anymore- you supposed as a surgeon, he got lost in vivid imagination or something.

"there's quite a few ways we could achieve that, but i think if you can narrow it down, it might help."

"somewhere near the heart? throat? something that would disarm the criminal immediately," you said.

yunho nodded slowly, his eyes fixated on your neck now and you subconciously adjusted your shirt. he finally met your eyes. "i think this spot might do the trick."

yunho fisted his hand but outstretched the index finger. "suppose this is the tip of your dagger, right? you would want to stab right here," he turned his hand to touch the space between his collarbones. "this spot is tricky because for males and females, it's not the same."

"oh?" you touched that same spot on yourself. "how so?"

"males usually have a thicker clavicle," yunho explained, stretching the collar of his shirt to expose his collarbones. "the gap between the two may be wider but it's definitely easier to stab a man here than a woman."

you touched your own collarbones for reference in confusion and when yunho had enough of your struggling, he scooted closer and touched the space between your collarbones with his finger. "this part. v-shaped, right? it's a bit straighter for men. so if your criminal was a woman, i'd have you stab them... right here," yunho trailed his finger up and dug it in that spot. you nodded. "the clavicle is a bit narrower in females too," he trailed his finger along your collarbones. "and positioned at a more diagonal angle-"

he didn't realise when he started rambling but when he met your eyes, he found them wider than usual and your lips parted, and only then did he realise the proximity between you two. you gulped and he felt that movement on his finger still situated on your skin and his own lips parted in surprise, his mind going black when your gaze fell down there.

and if that damned phone hadn't buzzed repeatedly, he would have done something about you. he definitely would have, ignoring all his strict rules, because there was no way you didn't feel a certain way about him. he was sure you did, especially now. especially when he drew back to check his phone and heard you let out a deep breath. you had been holding your breath all this time.

"i, uh... i have to take this call," he pursed his lips.

"of course," you nodded.

"i hope that cleared your confusion?" yunho dared to ask and when you stifled a smirk, he got his answer.

-------------------------------------------

[bonus scene that takes place after the big revelation]

it's been a long time since you woke up feeling like there was a weight on your chest, unable to breathe properly, hair matted to your face and your head spinning.

a nightmare. no-

a memory.

you checked the time- it was almost 4. you shook your head- maybe you should have pushed yourself to stay awake until you passed out so you could have a dreamless sleep. you always slept better when you were tired- not the healthiest habit, but that was how you overcame your sleeping struggles as a teen when your father passed away.

would you have to do this all over again?

you managed to walk to the toilet to wash your face, staring at the sink for the longest time and letting the water run through your hands as if it could wash away the weight of what you had done before finally snapping out of it and turning the tap off, exiting the toilet to go to the kitchen. you took a deep breath and sat yourself on a stool in the kitchen, taking small sips from your glass.

you could not go back to sleep now. not anytime soon.

you briefly wondered when yunho got home- was he home yet? lately, you had been going to sleep at odd times so you didn't run into him much, but you couldn't sleep for long- you would always wake up, just like you did tonight. the nightmares were plaguing your rest hours-

the glass slipped from your hand and crashed on the floor loudly, making you squeal a little. you winced at how loud it sounded in the dead hours of the night and you tried to find a spot on the floor that was not covered with shards- how exactly were you going to put your feet on the floor with all the glass around you-

"y/n? is everything okay?"

you sighed internally. "did i wake you up? i'm sorry, the glass just slipped."

yunho turned on a light and surveyed the mess. "stay right there, okay? don't move- i'll get the broom."

you nodded and waited until he started cleaning the shards from around you, making sure he got everything and then running to your room quickly to get your slippers. you thanked him, taking the broom and dustpan from him this time, spotting a tiny shard at the other end of the kitchen.

"were you asleep? did i wake you up?"

"i got home like, an hour ago," yunho said. "was just scrolling a bit. are you okay, though? you look pale."

"yeah, i'm okay," you put the broom in a corner and washed your hands. when you dried them and turned, you noticed yunho watching you intently. "what?"

"did you have a nightmare or something?"

he always knew. somehow, he always saw through you.

"is it that obvious?" you let out a short laugh. "do i look like a mess?"

"i mean..." yunho stifled a smile. "you usually do look like a hot mess..."

"lovely to hear that," you nodded and he grinned, stepping forward and encasing you in his arms as he peered down at you.

"won't you talk to me about it?"

"what's there to talk about?" you cocked your head and yunho's heart sank a little at the way your eyes went blank. "i killed a man, yunho. again. of course i will have to live with the consequences now."

yunho licked his dry lips and he knew you had zoned out at the way your gaze was fixated on his face. "can i ask you something?"

it took you a moment to come back to your senses and nod. yunho took a deep breath. "do you regret killing the man who almost killed your father?"

"everything went wrong after i did that-"

"but if you could go back in time, would you change that?" yunho asked.

"no." you were sure you would make the same decision. "because if i had not done that, he would have killed all of us."

"so... do you regret killing the man from a few days ago?"

"not at all," your response was quick. "he was going to kill you. i would have done the same, no matter who it was."

yunho brought his hand to your cheek and caressed it, his eyes full of love. you continued, "but that doesn't change the fact that i have killed people."

"i know," yunho said. "you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. it won't get easier, it will always hang like a noose over your head. but if you keep all of this to yourself... it will only get harder, y/n."

"i just... i don't know what to do," you exhaled a deep breath, looking away. "i feel so helpless. you've done so much to help me, hell, you almost took the blame for it, but still..."

"all these feelings are normal," yunho took your hand and started guiding you to the couch in the living room. you both settled down close to each other with yunho's hand on your shoulder, his thumb caressing your neck. "but if it's troubling you to the point of nightmares... why didn't you tell me earlier, y/n? if there's anyone who can relate to you..."

"it's you, i know," you smiled a little. "and i'm okay, for the most part, but for a while that night, i really thought it was all over, and that scared me so much, yunho."

"it's okay-"

"it's not the remorse that's eating me up, see?" you let out a short laugh. "it's... the fact that it's not the remorse eating me up but my selfishness when i was scared that you were going to take the blame and i would have to pick up the pieces of what was left all by myself. that your friends would hate me for the rest of our lives. that you would rot away in prison, like my father did, and i would never get to touch you again. it's wrong, isn't it? that this is the product of my nightmares and i don't need to sleep to feel this? does this make me a monster, yunho?"

if yunho could tell you how he felt at that moment, perhaps you would cower away, but he just had to ask you something. "do you still think you're the monster when i'm right in front of you?"

you looked at his unbelievably soft gaze and furrowed, somewhat confused brows. the dim lights from the kitchen softened half of his face, but even the shadows on his face didn't change who he was. you found his hand on your neck and held it, pressing your lips against his palm.

"i have killed more people than i can count, y/n," yunho continued, his voice pained. "but if that means that the world is somehow safer, i will continue down this road no matter how weary i get. does that make me a bad person or a good person? i realised long ago that i needed to stop categorising myself into one category, however... i sure as hell wouldn't call myself a good person," he let out a short laugh and you shook your head.

"if you weren't a good person, you wouldn't have tried to take the blame for me that night. and on that note... what were you thinking when you did that? without hesitation? can you imagine how wrong it could have gone if you got caught at that time-"

yunho leaned in and captured your lips in a deep kiss and thought it took you by surprise initially, you quickly melted in his grasp, your heart fluttering uncontrollably at the way he held and kissed you. when he drew back, he lingered for a few moments before looking at you.

"i would have done that anyway, no matter the consequences," he told you and you smiled sadly. "for you... i would do it again. so will you listen to me? will you let me help you?"

you nodded and he pulled you in for a hug. you scooted closer, almost sitting in his lap as you wrapped your arms around his waist, fisting the material of his sweatshirt.

"i know how hard it is to live with what we have done, no matter how we feel about it or think we feel about it," he caressed your head. "we think we have it all figured out. we think we'll be okay but really... it's still a human life, isn't it?"

you nodded- he was absolutely right.

"i harboured so much negativity in myself when my parents were killed. i thought if i would face their killer, i would not hesitate to kill him, but i did, and it cost me my sanity for a good while. if it weren't for hongjoong and mingi helping me figure out everything that was going on... i would have been so lost. i still think i am- the twisted, monstrous part in me is okay with what i do-"

"please don't call yourself a monster," you whispered. "you're anything but."

yunho embraced you tighter. "thank you for believing in me, but you should also tell yourself that."

and that's when it all made sense, what yunho was trying to tell you. it wasn't okay, it probably never will be, and it never should be. that's what you have to live with, and that's what will ultimately differentiate you from the actual monsters in this world.

"how do i convince myself i'm not the same as them?"

"that's what i'm here for," yunho laughed and you joined, drawing away from him. "but actually... i have a suggestion for you."

and that's how he told you all about mingi, the psychiatrist and the therapist who would never judge you no matter how dark your deepest thoughts and desires were. the person who would be able to understand your situation better than anyone else in this world since he was also a part of what yunho did. and most importantly, the person who wouldn't convince you to be someone you weren't. someone who wouldn't put you high on a pedestal or push you to your lowest. you adored the look on yunho's face when he told you all about his friend and you thought that mingi must be an admirable person if yunho believed in him so much.

and that night, he made a vow to you- he would always be there for you. he would be there to help you with the nightmares because he wished someone was there for him too. he would make sure you get proper sleep, and how couldn't you, if you were in his arms, safe and secure? how couldn't you, if you were showered in kisses before you fell asleep? how couldn't you, if you were enveloped in his scent that felt like home now?

the nightmares wouldn't easily stop but at least you wouldn't feel alone now, and that was all that mattered.

----------------------------

[something romantic but unhinged bc man now that i'm writing guerrilla again i wish i made it even longer LMAO]

[mdni!] [and do not interact if you're not comfortable with dark themes]

"yunho, what if your dark fantasies take over while we're having a moment and you kill me or something?"

yunho almost choked on the last sips of hot chocolate you had made him and he put the cup down on the table before shutting his eyes, inhaling and then opening them to glare at you.

"what stupid book are you reading now, babe?"

you pursed your lips in guilty admission. "you don't need to know that."

it had been a good few months into your relationship with yunho now, and he knew to expect odd questions like these way before that. when you first moved in, the questions had been related to your crime fiction wip but now that you were comfortable with him...

too comfortable, he thought. you couldn't ask something like this while you were seated so casually, defenceless across the couch with your legs in his lap while you used your tablet probably to edit your current draft.

"but do you think it happens? do you have moments like those when you... you know."

"when i what?" yunho smirked. he could play this game.

you immediately knew the mood had changed when his eyes glinted playfully. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer.

"i won't judge you, i promise," you laughed a little. "but do you ever want to? or do you think others do?"

"words. i need you to say it out loud," yunho sat back cockily while his hand rested on your thigh, squeezing it almost suggestively.

and you knew it could only go one way from here. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer-

practically. whenever he could, practically.

"if you're about to see if you feel like killing me right now, no thanks. and for your information, i can fight back."

"can you?" yunho scoffed.

"i've killed two men."

yunho laughed mockingly at that. "two. such a cute number."

your heart sank at that but you tried to lighten the situation. "okay, yeah, i should probably stop reading stupid books-"

"do you want me to check and see, though?" yunho cocked his head dangerously, removing his hand from your thigh only to hold your hand and pull you closer.

"geez, you really take answering my questions so seriously," you teased. of course he would never hurt you, but the thought of where this could lead to excited you in too many ways and you internally slapped yourself. "i guess i'll find the answer if i live to tell the tale?"

yunho pulled you properly in his lap, one hand stationed across your legs to keep you close to him while the other hand stayed on your neck, his thumb caresseing your adam's apple. you loved putting yunho in this headspace, when his gaze darkened as he thought about all the ways he would mess with you.

"do you know how easy it is to take someone's life if you press this wrong?" yunho pushed your adam's apple with his thumb just a fraction. "even just a little pressure can make it difficult to breathe."

you twisted away from him to put your tablet away and then put your own hand on his neck to feel his adam's apple. you pressed it a little just like he had demonstrated and nodded in understanding.

"it's ironic then, isn't it?" yunho looked up at you. "that some of the most sensitive spots on a human are around there?"

before you could ask him to elaborate, he pulled you closer to kiss you on the side of your neck and you gasped when you realised where this was going. he didn't stop there, though, no. he flipped you effortlessly so your back was flat on the couch and he was on top of you. before you could process anything, he was back to peppering kisses along your neck, planting a rather long one right on your adam's apple before finding your sweet spot and continuing to kiss and suck there.

your back arched in pleasure when one of his hands went to hold your waist but found your bare skin instead, your shirt having ridden up. you squirmed under him, one hand at the nape of his neck. when he was satisfied after earning a loud moan from you, he drew back to admire the bruising mark on your neck.

and then he grinned at your breathless form.

"that was so out of the blue," you laughed.

"i'm nowhere near done though," yunho kissed your temple, trailing his lips down along the angles of your face and then kissing your jaw sweetly. you brought your limp arm up to fist his shirt and crash your lips on his because he should stop teasing you already. yunho smiled into the kiss before responding enthusiastically and you tasted chocolate on his lips which made you hum in satisfaction.

yunho took that as his cue to escalate things further. while he kissed you, he let his hand travel down your body until it reached the waistband of your shorts. he broke the kiss to look at you and make sure you were okay and when you nodded, he pulled them down a bit to slide his hand down and he looked at you in surprise.

"you're soaking wet," he laughed a little. "tell me, which part turned you on?"

you slapped his hand and he laughed louder, pecking your lips and drawing away to lock eyes with you just in time to see your reaction when he slid a finger along your slit. he captured your gasp in another kiss and soon, things got all heated up. the sound of your moans were swallowed in his kisses as he slid two fingers knuckle-deep inside you and started thrusting them, curling them inside to earn loud gasps from you.

"so responsive," he praised, trailing kisses down your neck again and finding another spot to suck at. it was good that you mostly stayed at home, you thought. he had a thing with marking you and you could only imagine how much a hassle it would have been to cover it on a daily basis.

"yunho," you gasped when his thumb started circling your clit. it hadn't even been that long that you started getting more physical but he sure knew all your buttons. "please."

"please what?" he breathed against your adam's apple, reminding you once again how this all started.

"i'm so close," you moaned.

"already?" he tsk-ed, kissing the protruding spot on your neck. "how badly do you want it?"

you cupped his face and kissed him in answer, your tongues colliding in the passionate makeout which only sent another wave of arousal through your body and you shivered against him. he knew you were close so he drew apart and made you rest your head against the cushion again.

"you asked me about my dark fantasies, right?" yunho almost whispered and you nodded, anticipating what was next. "not the darkest fantasy, but a good start- choking."

you frowned- choking was pretty common... no?

"there's a very subtle difference in choking for pain and choking for pleasure," yunho explained, his hand around your neck now, his other hand still rubbing your clit in circles, his fingers pumping inside you slowly. "and sure, choking is common, but sweetheart..."

yunho pressed the sides of your throat for a second experimentally and you gasped. "feel that? see how everything you feel inside you becomes heightened but your senses grow numb?"

"yeah," you breathed, squirming under him- you were almost there. "pleasure."

"and if i pressed like this," he said, gently squeezing from the front- so gently that you almost didn't feel anything. "it would be to kill you. how faint is the line between pain and pleasure, y/n?"

you didn't realise when yunho sped up his fingers thrusting inside you but you were almost out of breath now and when he flicked your clit and provided the friction it needed to get over the edge, right when you could feel your orgasm beginning to wash over you, he leaned in to whisper in your ear-

"do you think i have dark fantasies like that?"

and you almost wouldn't have heard him because he pressed the sides of your throat, choking you right as your orgasm washed over you and your vision darkened, your back arching against him. everything was so heightened- yunho on top of you, his fingers inside you, his hand palming your clit, the other hand squeezing your throat like a choker necklace, his lips on your temple in a kiss, his thighs caging you, but the most heightened of all-

his question, the itch in your brain yet to be scratched. it clouded your thoughts as you took deep breaths to recover from the orgasm, as he kissed you everywhere and drew back to clean his fingers with tissues.

"so..." you breathed. "you won't be answering that, will you?"

he only smirked. "answering it would kill all the fun."

[zapreportsblog]

hi!! can you do volturi x secretary!reader (platonic) who's just TOO GOOD AT HER JOB. she spells carlisle correctly, she doesn't interrupt, and she's like really professional. ALSO YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK LIKE I WAS SO SURRPISRD THANK YOU HAVE A GOOD DAYYAYAYYA

❝she’s just too damn good❞

✭ pairing : volturi x reader

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : (Y/n) is the best damn secretary the volturi could ask for

✭ authors note : aww of course I’d follow you back :)

✭ twilight masterlist

The grand entrance hall of Volterra, Italy, echoed with the weight of centuries-old secrets and power. It was within these ancient stone walls that the Volturi, the ruling vampire coven, held their dominion. Aro, Caius, and Marcus, the three elder vampires who led the coven, sat upon their thrones, their crimson eyes filled with an ageless wisdom.

Their previous secretary had met an unfortunate end, her fate sealed by a single, costly mistake. Now, it was time to find a new secretary, one who could handle the delicate matters that crossed the Volturi's path.

(Y/n), a human with a reputation for competence and diligence, stood before the Volturi leaders. She pushed her glasses up on her face, the light catching the lenses and reflecting an intense determination in her gaze. She had no intention of failing in this prestigious role.

Aro, the most talkative of the trio, addressed her with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I trust you won't follow in our previous secretary's footsteps. Her errors cost her dearly."

(Y/n) met Aro's gaze with unwavering confidence. "No need for the warning, sir. I take my work very seriously. I'm here to ensure that every detail is meticulously attended to."

Caius observed her with a critical eye, his expression stern. "You are aware that our affairs are highly confidential, and discretion is of the utmost importance?"

(Y/n) nodded, her resolve unshaken. "Absolutely, sir. My lips are sealed, and I understand the consequences of breaching that trust."

Marcus, the most reserved of the three, merely regarded her with a measured gaze. "We shall see if your actions align with your words."

(Y/n) straightened her posture, ready to take on her new responsibilities. "You won't be disappointed, gentlemen."

With that, she accepted the role of secretary for the Volturi, stepping into a world of secrecy, power, and ancient vampires. As she walked away, she knew that she had taken on a role unlike any other, one that demanded her utmost dedication and discretion. The reflection of her determination in those glasses was a symbol of the resolve she brought to her new position, one that she intended to uphold at all costs.

(Y/n) settled into her new role as the secretary for the Volturi with a fierce dedication. Her efficiency and attention to detail quickly became apparent to the coven's leaders. Aro, always one to appreciate those who could fulfill his demands promptly, decided to put her to the test.

One afternoon, he strolled into her office, his graceful presence demanding attention. (Y/n) looked up from her desk, her fingers flying across the keyboard of her computer as she organized files and scheduled appointments.

"Ah, (Y/n)," Aro greeted her with his customary smile. "I have a task for you."

(Y/n) nodded, ready to take on any request from her employer. "Of course, master Aro. What do you need?"

Aro explained, "I need you to post an aid about a tour for fifty people for tomorrows feeding, a rather impromptu event. I would like you to schedule it for me.”

(Y/n) didn't miss a beat. She continued typing on her computer, her eyes darting across the screen as she worked her magic with scheduling software. "Consider it done, master Aro."

Aro was taken aback by her speed and efficiency. He had expected this task to take some time, but within mere minutes, (Y/n) turned her screen toward him, displaying a perfectly organized tour for fifty attendees, complete with dates, times, and an itinerary.

His crimson eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "You work remarkably fast, (Y/n)."

(Y/n) looked up with a confident smile. "I pride myself on being efficient, master aro. Is there anything else you need?"

Aro chuckled, clearly impressed. "Not at the moment, my dear. Carry on with your excellent work."

As he left her office, (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. She had proven her worth to the Volturi leader, and her efficiency would undoubtedly serve her well in this world of secrecy and power.

In the serene garden of the Volturi castle, Marcus often found solace among the flowers that his late mate had once lovingly tended to. He wandered the garden, lost in his own thoughts, the weight of his immortal life bearing down on him.

One day, as he strolled along the carefully manicured paths, Marcus noticed something extraordinary. The flowers that had once withered away had begun to regrow, vibrant and beautiful as if brought back to life by some unseen force. He couldn't help but be struck by the sight, the memories of his mate's love for these flowers flooding his mind.

Marcus approached a lower guard who was on duty nearby, his curiosity piqued. "Who has been taking care of the garden? These flowers, they are flourishing once more."

The lower guard, a vampire who had served the Volturi for centuries, nodded respectfully to Marcus. "It is the human, my lord."

"The human?" Marcus asked, intrigued. "What is their name?"

The guard, who knew the human by the name the Volturi called her, replied, "The secretary (Y/n), my lord."

Marcus considered this revelation, the name sparking a distant memory. He had heard the name (Y/n) mentioned in passing, but he had paid little attention. Now, it seemed this human was not only tending to the garden but also reviving the memories of his lost mate.

With a nod of appreciation, Marcus continued to admire the blooming flowers, a silent acknowledgment of the human named (Y/n) for her care and dedication. In the garden, among the resurrected blooms, he felt a connection to his past and a glimmer of hope for the future, all thanks to the efforts of this mysterious human.

In the dimly lit halls of the Volturi castle, Caius, one of the coven's leaders, was growing increasingly frustrated. He had been searching for his favorite cloak, a luxurious garment of deep crimson, for what felt like an eternity. His irritation had escalated to the point where his voice echoed through the corridors as he yelled at everyone in his path.

"Where is it? Who has taken my cloak?" he bellowed, his tone venomous.

Vampires scurried to avoid his wrath, their wide-eyed expressions betraying their fear of their temperamental leader.

In the midst of the chaos, a soft and calm voice cut through the tension. "(Y/n)," Caius snapped, his crimson eyes narrowing as he turned to face the human secretary, "(Y/n), have you seen my cloak? I cannot find it anywhere."

(Y/n) stepped forward, holding Caius's missing cloak draped carefully over her arm. Her voice was composed, unruffled by his outburst. "Master Caius, you left this in your office. I've noticed it had specks of dried blood on it, so I've had it dried clean."

Caius was momentarily taken aback, his anger dissipating as he processed her words. He couldn't believe it. The usually distant and indifferent human secretary had not only found his cloak but had taken it upon herself to ensure it was cleaned.

"(Y/n)," Caius said, his voice softer now, "you did this for me?"

(Y/n) nodded, her gaze steady as she met his crimson eyes. "Of course, Master Caius. It's my duty to assist in any way I can."

Caius, still in disbelief, reached out to take the cloak from her arm. His fingers brushed against hers, and he felt a strange, unfamiliar sensation stir within him. He couldn't deny that her thoughtfulness had left a mark on him, one that he couldn't easily dismiss.

As (Y/n) excused herself and left the hallway, Caius watched her retreating figure with a newfound appreciation. It was a small gesture, but one that had touched him deeply, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to this human secretary than met the eye.

The grand trial room within the Volturi castle was filled with a weighty silence as the three kings, Aro, Caius, and Marcus, gathered for a discussion. The subject of their conversation was none other than their human secretary, (Y/n).

"She's good at her job, almost too damn good," Aro commented, his eyes gleaming with intrigue. "I can't seem to find a simple mistake in her work."

Caius nodded in agreement. "She's quick, and her work is effective. It seems we'll be keeping her around long-term."

Marcus, who often remained silent, offered his approval with a subtle nod.

The kings reached a unanimous decision. They would offer (Y/n) a gift, one that would bind her to the Volturi for eternity. They sent their most trusted enforcers, the twins Alec and Jane, to fetch her.

Alec and Jane, swift and efficient as always, found (Y/n) in her office. They approached her with the precision of a well-practiced routine.

"(Y/n)," Alec began, his tone even, "the masters request your presence in the trial room."

(Y/n) blinked in surprise but complied, following the twins to the room where the three kings awaited.

Once inside, (Y/n) stood before the Volturi leaders, her heart pounding with anticipation. Aro spoke first, his voice dripping with charm.

"(Y/n), in the short months you have been with us, your dedication and efficiency have impressed us greatly," Aro said, his crimson eyes locked onto hers. "We value your contributions, and we would like to offer you a gift."

(Y/n) couldn't hide her surprise. "A gift, masters?"

Caius stepped forward, his gaze unwavering. "We offer you immortality, (Y/n). A chance to join our coven as one of us."

The offer hung in the air, a life-altering decision that (Y/n) had never expected. She considered her options carefully, her thoughts racing. The weight of eternity was a heavy burden to bear, but the allure of becoming part of the Volturi coven was undeniable.

After a moment of reflection, (Y/n) finally spoke. "I'm not sure what to say, masters, but thank you for the offer."

With her acceptance, the kings nodded in approval. The twins, Alec and Jane, moved closer, their hands lightly touching her body. “Alec -“ aro calls out and in second Alec has (y/n) wrapped in his dark smoke, her senses numbing within seconds. “Don’t worry dear, it’ll be over in no time.”

Over the course of three days, (Y/n) underwent the agonizing process of the vampire transformation. She endured the fire of change, sometimes which were numbed by Alec per the kings request and now she was emerging from the ordeal as a newborn vampire, her senses heightened and her existence forever entwined with the Volturi.

As her eyes fluttered open in her new immortal life, (Y/n) realized that she had become a permanent part of the Volturi coven, her loyalty and dedication recognized in the most profound way possible.

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Studious IV (Aemond Targaryen x Reader) 18+

You continue reading Aemond's diary. As his true feelings for you become ever more clear, can you decipher your own feelings for him?

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (second person, no use of Y/N)

Warnings: Aemond in his smut writer era (semi-public sex, p in v sex, tiddy suckin', riding, fingering, oral sex f receiving, bad sex)

Author's Note: So sorry for the delay! But this baby is 11K words, so hopefully that makes up for it! Also, I tried for a long time to format this like the others, but tumblr wouldn't let me post it if I did, so the formatting is a little different here.

Read Part I Here - Read Part II Here - Read Part III Here

My Masterlist

Taglist will be done via reblogs (there are simply too many of you to fit here)

Studious IV

You were never setting foot in the library again.

Not after what you just read. Not when you were sure that the mere memory of it would have you bursting into flames the moment you crossed the threshold.

Good gods, only a few entries ago, Aemond could hardly bring himself to write the word ‘cunt,’ and now this? What in the Seven Hells were his advisors – Grand Maester Orwyle, Lord Jasper Wylde, and Prince Aegon – teaching him?

You weren’t sure whether the odd feeling in your stomach was due to how much you ate – an entire meat pie and five tea cakes, all washed down with a pot and a half of raspberry tea – or what you had just read.

Either way, it was not enough to stop you from glancing about your bedchamber to ensure no one was watching you and then rereading the entry from the beginning.

The 16th day in the 5th moon of the year.

I have just returned from the library. Grand Maester Orwyle suggested that I consult a book on anatomy. Since there was no business of court I was required to attend today, I asked one of the librarians to help me retrieve the title after I finished my training.

I also found a few books Aegon recommended, only after I dismissed the librarian – I did not want him to know that I took those. Or that I even knew what they were. Gossip abounds in the capital, and I do not wish to be the subject of more than I already am.

By the titles alone, I am surprised Mother allows them to remain in the Keep. I likely will not read most of them. Aegon has already traumatised me quite thoroughly. I see no reason to allow him to ruin reading for me, as well. Although one title, ‘A Caution for Young Girls,’ seems innocent enough.

But the books are not why I am writing now, when my usual routine is to write immediately before I retire to bed. I just… I need to commit this to paper before it leaves me entirely.

On my way out of the library, I saw her. My wife – if I die tomorrow or in a hundred years, I shall never tire of calling her that.

She has quickly found the more private areas of the library, it seems. I would never have seen her if I had not been considering going there to read myself.

It must mean something that she did not choose just any of the countless hidden places within the maze of the library, but my favourite – a secluded alcove along the western wall. An indicator of our compatibility, perhaps. Or even a sign from the gods?

Had the books I’d been carrying not been so… unsuitable, I would have asked to join her.

No, I wouldn’t have. That would require far more courage than I can summon when I see her.

I just stared at her, watching her face as she read. From where I stood, I could not see what she was reading. But I could see her, and that was enough.

She is so expressive! I saw her both smile and frown in quick succession, and once, her entire face scrunched in displeasure as if she had just taken a bite of lemon! Gods, how can even such an unpleasant expression be so beautiful?

Perhaps I should not have watched her at all, for the longer I stood there, the further my mind drifted. And then, I heard Aegon’s voice, as clearly as if he were standing beside me.

‘Don’t limit yourself to the bedchamber brother, or even the bed! A wall or a table serves just as well. And there is a certain thrill to knowing you could be discovered…’

Damn him. Why did I ever ask for his assistance? I would have been better off enlisting the help of an actual whore! At least then, the vulgarity would not come from the future King. Damn him to the deepest of the Seven Hells.

But that stupid advice echoed in my mind over and over. And against my will and better judgement, an image began to form. A dream – a waking dream.

Though my feet remained planted on the floor, I imagined setting aside my books and joining her in that alcove. She would look up and smile upon hearing my approach, perhaps even giggle at my attempt at stealth.

I would sit beside her and ask what she was reading. I might even ask her to read to me. But I would not let her read for long.

I would kiss her while she read. Not on her lips but all over her perfect face. Her cheeks, her forehead, on the tip of her nose. All just to distract her, to make her laugh. Only when she made so much noise that I feared discovery would I kiss her lips to quiet her and finally claim my prize.

The kiss would not be like in the Sept, or in her chambers that night. Instead, she would kiss me back and open herself to me. I would kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her. Until we were both out of breath but still wanting more.

Seeing her like that, with her lips swollen and cheeks flushed… I would not be able to wait until we returned to our chambers. I would lift her onto that very table, books be damned.

Like our wedding night, we would not undress. We would be in too much of a hurry.

But even hurried, I would be gentle. I would take the time to prepare her, as Lord Wylde said I must do every time. Doing so makes the experience more pleasurable for the woman, he says. And Orwyle added that her enjoyment makes it more likely that the coupling will be fruitful.

Gods, I hardly care about that anymore. Of course, I want an heir, or several. But I want her more. I want her to feel as much pleasure as I do. To ‘peak,’ as Wylde and Orwyle put it. Aegon uses other words, but I find them too vulgar.

And in the library, making an heir would be the last thing on my mind. Even finding my own pleasure would be secondary. I would use my fingers to prepare her – perhaps get her to peak once before I even enter her?

Aegon says women can find release much more than men can. According to him, he once made a woman peak ten times in one night. I would be more amenable to believing him if he didn’t also claim he did so five times. But maybe he is right about ‘practising’ increasing stamina. Though he has had years of practice, and I have had only two days…

But in the dream world where I have the courage to approach her at all, and the gall to bed her in the library of all places (can you call it ‘bedding’ if it is not done in an actual bed?), I also have that stamina. And the skill to indeed make her peak with just my fingers.

I do not know what sounds she would make, as she was entirely silent on our wedding night, but I would want her to make them. I would want her to make such noise that I would have no choice but to kiss her to quiet her and keep her from drawing the attention of the rest of the library.

Even when I was buried within her, I would kiss her. With one arm wrapped around her hips to hold her steady as I fucked her so hard the table would shake, and the other hand tangled in her hair so I could kiss her just as hard.

I want to kiss her so badly. When I finally go to her again, that is what I will do first.

Once we had both finished – for I would ensure she peaked again with me inside her – I would kiss her more, softly, until our breathing steadied. Then, we would simply take our seats again, and this time, I would read to her.

By all the Seven, what has become of me? To not only have such thoughts but to revel in them as I do?

You didn’t bother reading the rest of the entry again before clutching the diary to your chest and staring at the bed canopy above you as a thousand questions burned through your mind and set your heart racing.

Had he been thinking about that the day he came to you in the library?

Was it what he intended to do, had you not reacted so poorly to his words?

Were you really wishing that he had?

You turned on your side, cradling his diary as you once did a small stuffed pony, and noticed for the first time that night had fallen – you had spent nearly the entire day reading. For a moment, you considered running to Aemond’s chambers. But when you looked back at the journal, there were still more than a dozen ribbons shut in its pages.

And if you went to him just after reading what you did…

Whatever was becoming of Aemond, no doubt thanks to the men he had asked for help in better bedding you, by reading his diary and the most private thoughts and fantasies contained within, it was becoming of you too. For when your eyes drifted closed, Aemond’s dream of the library became your dream as well.

-

The next several days of entries were almost identical.

Aemond woke at dawn after a night of dreams filled with you. They were not always of a carnal nature. Sometimes he dreamed simply of holding or kissing you. Once, he dreamed about flying with you atop his dragon. You didn’t know whether the prospect was thrilling or terrifying. Perhaps both.

Each day, he broke his fast, trained, then ate a small meal before joining court.

Before joining you.

When he wrote in the diary after dinner and several hours of studying and ‘practising’ (you still could not determine what that meant), he still remembered every little thing you did. You had never spoken at court – it was not your place to. But he had catalogued your every movement and reaction to the business of the realm. Every raise of your brows, every repressed smile, and every curious tilt of your head.

You thought you were quite proficient at maintaining a regal mask of indifference. Your mother had you practice it on the journey to King’s Landing while she commanded your brothers to shout at you the most outrageous things they could think of (much of which she promptly scolded them for when they were done).

But Aemond saw through the mask. Not only that, but he correctly interpreted every movement you made.

He knew that the twitch of your lip when Lord Bolton made a petition was a sign of your marked distaste for the man. He knew the scrunch of your brow upon the reading of a missive from a Pentosi diplomat was you noticing a contradiction from the previous message and realising the diplomat was lying. And he knew that you stiffened every time he looked at you because you were nervous about what he would say or do.

Aemond knew you. Even then.

And yet you had so dreadfully misunderstood him.

The shame of it was enough to make you set down the diary and call for a bath – a private bath, without any of your maids present even in the adjourning rooms. You gave an excuse that you were exhausted and simply wished to remain alone.

But really?

As part of his study of the anatomy book Orwyle recommended, Aemond had drawn a diagram of what lay between a woman’s legs. And annotated it based on the advice of Lord Wylde and Prince Aegon.

You were curious to see – with the aid of a hand mirror – just how accurate the diagram and annotations were.

-

You awoke the following morning feeling more refreshed than you had since you came to the palace, from both the welcome break in your courtly duties and the exploration you had conducted in the privacy of your bath. Though you were fairly sure you did not reach a ‘peak,’ as Aemond described it, you felt close to the height of something several times. But each time, you panicked at the intensity of the racing feelings within you and withdrew your hand. Still, those few minutes of pleasure were incredibly relaxing.

And as it was Aemond’s notes that allowed you to discover the feeling that your own clumsy attempts had failed to bring, the prospect that you would – eventually – once more join him in his bed became thrilling beyond reason.

In truth, the only thing that stopped you from rushing across the castle the very moment you emerged from the bath was the unfortunate fact that you were still bleeding, though it was light.

More than that, while your body was more than ready to forgive Aemond, your heart and mind were still hesitant. He had hurt you. He made you cry. Reading his diary helped you understand that it had never been intentional. However, you still needed to understand everything before making a final decision on whether to forgive him and if you could, as Aemond hoped in his note, ‘learn to like’ or even to love him.

So, after breaking your fast, you again settled into the couch and turned to the next green ribbon.

The 23rd day in the 5th moon of the year

Were Aegon not my brother and the heir, I would throw him from the top of the Rookery.

‘A Caution for Young Girls’ is no such thing. It is little more than a manual in promiscuity and sin!

But… damn him. It is quite educational.

Unlike the book Grand Maester Orwyle suggested, it is not focused on the science of anatomy or conception. Rather, it is entirely concerned with the pleasure of women. After all, it is the supposedly true story of a woman’s quest for pleasure.

A Wylde woman, if it is to be believed. I may have to ask Lord Jasper about it. Is this why he’s had such success with his own wives?

But that, and indeed the sinful nature of the book itself, is unimportant. What is important is that it may actually be the key to my learning how to pleasure my wife.

It spoke at length of various methods of using one’s fingers. Crooking the fingers while within seems to be crucial, as is locating a ‘sweet spot’ where her walls feel slightly different. That spot, as well as the ‘pearl’ which lays at the top of her sex, is the epicentre of her pleasure.

And, like the others said, preparation is required. This is where the use of the fingers comes into it – as well as various other methods. For example, the book mentions kissing quite often, and not only on the lips. Or the cheeks. Or even anywhere on the face.

I admit the idea, though it is new to me, is quite appealing. The book mentioned several places where women most like to be kissed. The jaw, the throat, behind the ear, the nape of the neck, the collarbone…

There was a spot of ink, as though Aemond’s pen had been resting on the page without moving for a long moment.

…the breasts, and lower.

I do not understand why. Perhaps it is because of Aegon’s incessant comments about the breasts of every woman in the Keep, save our mother and his wife – would that he would also exclude my wife! – but I find myself thinking about her breasts with startling frequency. I did not get to see them on our wedding night after I foolishly forgot to undress her.

There is a story in the book which… well, I find myself wanting to replicate. One which would provide me ample access to her breasts. But more than that, it carries an intimacy which I crave most of all.

When Lady Coryanne was serving as a handmaid to a warlock in Qarth, she often found herself called to help him ‘relax’ after a long day. On such occasions, she would mount him while he sat at his desk and ‘ride’ him while he buried his face in her breasts.

I… it was easy to imagine my wife and me in a similar, though more loving, position. Likely not at my desk, as I don’t actually use it often. But perhaps, here. On my chair by the hearth, where I read my books and write in this diary before bed.

She would come back – for she would be living here, with me, not across the Holdfast and so far away – after a long day. Maybe she would have been in the gardens, or with Mother, Helaena and the children, or in the library for hours. I would have been stuck away from her all day in meetings, court, or training.

Even apart from her for only a day, I would miss her terribly. As I do every hour I do not see her. And she would miss me too.

When she came in, she would press herself against the door as she locked it, then turn to me with a mischievous grin. I would know what she wanted, but I would not play along. Instead, I’d mutter a greeting and turn back to my book, pretending that my blood was not racing at just the sight of her. For I want her blood to be as heated as mine.

You read the last paragraph again, the realisation finally set in that Aemond was about to narrate another of his fantasies. Fortunately, after his previous entry about the library, you decided to be more cautious and had already dismissed your servants until your afternoon meal. You had suspected that there may be more in the diary that was thoroughly unsuitable for prying eyes.

And, thanks to his diligent notetaking, you knew precisely what to do when the feelings such unsuitable words provoked began to burn through you.

You undoubtedly did not want an audience for that…

I would let her tease me, pretending none of it fazed me. When she brushed her fingers lightly across my shoulders, I would not flinch. When she leaned over me further than she would really need to see what I was reading, but wanting me to see that peek of her breasts nearly spilling out from her dress, I would barely look. And when she pressed a kiss, long and slow, to my neck – gods, would I like that too? – I might even pretend it was an inconvenience.

It would vex her that I did not give her the attention she desperately wanted. Not enough to truly anger her, but only enough to make her pout. So that when she took the book from my hands and dropped it to the floor, then sat atop me in the chair with her thighs straddling mine… I would simply have no choice but to grab her little lip as she stuck it out and push it back into place before kissing her.

I would kiss her in every place the book instructs, taking my time to worship every bit of her. I want to drive her as mad as she does me just by her mere existence.

But I know she would not simply let me tease her. She would return each kiss I gave her and more. Atop me, she would roll her hips slowly, purposefully, as if we were engaged in a dance. I would be able to feel her, hot and wet and as eager as me, but each time I rose to meet her, she would pull away.

Gods, am I really wishing for her to deny me? Perhaps practising as Aegon instructed has conditioned me to crave such delays to my satisfaction.

Either way, I think I would break before she did. She is strong-willed, and with as many brothers as she has, I believe she can be quite patient. So, I would beg. I would apologise for trying to tease her and plead for her forgiveness. And for her to…

She would, I hope, without hesitation. She would rise only long enough for her to remove her smallclothes and for me to do away with my trousers. Then, we would both sit again, together, with me gently guiding her down to mount me – Seven Hells, that makes it sound like I’m a horse.

I’ll be whatever she wants.

Again, and as always, I would give her a moment to adjust and make sure she is comfortable. Orwyle’s book said that with well-endowed partners – which, according to the measurements in the book, I am – women may always need that moment.

But I would be glad to give it to her. For it would allow me to unlace her bodice, and like the warlock from the book, I could bury my face in my beloved’s breasts.

I find it hard to imagine what it would be like, how they would feel. Soft, I think. Warm, as she is. And perhaps, if I pressed close enough, I could hear her heart beating.

When I was fully settled within her, would I hear it beat faster? Or would it slow with contentment, knowing she was safe and loved – oh so dearly loved – within my arms. Perhaps it would be like the stories, and I would hear it skip a beat.

Either way, I would be more than content to just sit there, breathe her in, and let her move at her own pace. We would not need to be fast, as we would in the library. In my own rooms – our rooms – there would be no need for hurry. We could just stay there, entwined, or we could move together.

I think I would prefer it slowly. Not even seeking our releases, really. Just… enjoying each other. Enjoying the connection of our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Knowing that we are one, that the gods have made us one, and that nothing can tear us apart.

Although… I do think her legs would get tired after a while. That is something I should perhaps be worried about. Especially if she did want to move, and fast. To seek release.

If she did, I would help her. The book did not detail how, as Lady Coryanne was a servant at the time, but… I could figure it out. I could move my hips up to meet hers, or even lift her on my own? I think doing so with my hands on her hips would give me the most leverage. Or perhaps her rear?

I am very drawn to the idea of holding her close as we reach our peaks. Of feeling her breath on my skin, being close enough to hear each little noise she makes, and the sensation of her gripping me as tight as she can as she comes. Even the thought of her nails digging into me brings a certain thrill. And if I don’t reach my peak with her – which, I think, is very unlikely – we can always continue. Or move somewhere more comfortable if her legs do get tired.

At this point, I think I am more than ready to practice. Of course, this wasn’t my intention when I started writing, but… yes, I am most definitely ready. And anything else I wanted to write about seems inconsequential now.

You dropped the diary onto your heaving chest, the image Aemond’s words had painted still burning in your mind. Seven Hells, you could practically feel his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you to his chest as you moved together, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered words of praise between desperate kisses.

With a hazy smile, you snuggled further into the couch and beneath your blanket. As exhilarating as the descriptions of his desires were, what truly warmed your heart was the way he wrote about you, the two of you together.

The connection of your souls as one? It was exactly what you’d dreamed of when first told of your betrothal. Aemond was what you dreamed of.

Why did he have to stop writing? What in the name of the Seven was he practising that was more important than that?

Frustrated and with your pleasure now truly over, you closed the diary and turned on your side, resigned to simply stewing in your own thoughts for the few hours left until your maids returned.

-

After a light, solitary afternoon meal, you again dismissed your maids. By this point, they were more than a little suspicious about the titleless book you were reading. But, you insisted that you simply wanted to be alone, for your moon’s blood still plagued you. It wasn’t entirely a lie. You did still have some cramping and a slight headache.

In truth, it was because you knew what would happen in just a few entries – your second night together.

It surely wouldn’t be as thrilling as some of his other fantasies. You knew that firsthand. But after learning what Aemond felt for you, you were desperate to know his side of that night.

So desperate, in fact, that you barely skimmed the following two entries in your haste to reach it. Both primarily had to do with whatever smut he had read in A Caution for Young Girls. The first was a rather exhaustive list of all the ways he wanted to kiss you – and there were far more ways than you were previously aware of.

The second caused your most intense blushing yet, for it was near treasonous! After reading another story of Coryanne Wylde ‘riding’ a man, he fantasised about you riding him while he sat on the Iron Throne. It was an intriguing idea, but it seemed a little too hazardous to tempt you.

Finally, you reached what you had been waiting for.

The 26th day in the 5th moon of the year.

I had hoped not to make an entry today – for I had every intention of spending tonight in my wife’s chambers. But she is there, and tragically, I am here.

Tonight was almost worse than our wedding night.

When I saw her watching me in the training yard today, I thought… she was almost smiling – at me! She had no obligation to be there, and yet she was! She sought me out! She wanted to see me!

I had to bite back a cry of joy and relief. I immediately abandoned the rest of my training, nearly impaling the poor squire with my sword for how hard I threw it at him, so I could rush to the ramparts and greet her.

But when I got there, she was gone. I asked a few of the other lords and ladies that were there, but no one knew where she went. Even after speaking to her, however briefly, I still do not understand why she left.

You felt your cheeks flush with shame. Aemond hadn’t grimaced at you that day – quite the opposite. He had been so excited to see you there, and as usual, you had misinterpreted his reaction.

Or, based on how frequently these misunderstandings occurred, perhaps his expressions were merely indecipherable to normal people. Or, more likely, maybe just to you.

You set his diary down, careful to use one of your discarded ribbons to mark your place, and picked up your own. By this point, you had filled several pages with your reactions to Aemond’s writing – some of it sincere, some bordering on humour.

Yet you had no words to express how sorry you were that you had so thoroughly misjudged him. So you wrote nothing and just kept reading.

When I went to her chambers to check on her, I encountered one of her maids, who told me she had retired early with a headache and would not be joining the family for dinner.

Perhaps I should have gone into her chambers then and asked what was wrong. I knew – or at least suspected – that the headache was a lie. An excuse to allow her privacy. I often do the same, citing my scar. Which, as I told her, is not always a lie.

But if I had gone to her, as I wished. I would not have known what to say. Ask her why she ran from the training yard without speaking to me? Or why she wanted to avoid me and the family? Tell her I’m sorry for the disappointment of our wedding night? Ask Beg for a second chance?

I could not do it. I was tired from training and admittedly still somewhat discombobulated from realising she had been watching me. Though I did make it to her door, I merely touched the handle for a moment before retiring to my own chambers.

Now, after yet another disastrous visit… I should have gone to her earlier. I should have trusted my instincts (as Aegon often encourages me to do) instead of allowing my mind to think itself into an inescapable hole.

As I bathed and redressed, and even while attending court and dinner, I could not stop thinking about her. Agonising over what I may have done to make her flee from me?

I never even considered that she may actually have a headache until I was again at her door after dinner. The fear that I was disturbing her, perhaps making her pain worse, was nearly enough to make me turn and flee.

But then, her voice came, soft and light and so enticing. Of course, I somehow managed to answer idiotically when she asked who it was. Though she lessened the sting of embarrassment with a small joke. She is so achingly clever!

I asked her how she was, and her answer made it evident that the headache was a ruse. I am trying not to be too proud that my deduction was correct. She is not used to lying, nor is she good at it. And it is yet another thing I admire about her.

For hours, I planned what I would say to her. It was eloquent and thoughtful – practically poetry.   

The tail of the last ‘y’ extended nearly an inch, and you imagined Aemond just staring at the page, consumed by his thoughts for a moment.

But her room looked different tonight. She finally unpacked.

There is a large tapestry above her hearth depicting her home keep, the field below filled with vibrant pink flowers with bright yellow centres. The same flowers appear nearly everywhere. On framed examples of embroidery, on her curtains, pillows, and even the blanket strewn over the back of her couch.

I must find out what they are, for they are clearly very important to her.

You looked up from the diary, glancing about your room. Indeed, you had not realised how many dog roses decorated your possessions. It was no wonder he guessed they were your favourite.

‘I was quite impressed when you brought me my favourite flower,’ you wrote in your diary. ‘I thought you had somehow read my thoughts. I suppose I made it easy for you.’

She also has a large bookcase in her sitting room, which was specifically requested when her father sent word accepting the betrothal. Since the last time I was in her chambers, she has begun to fill the shelves with books and trinkets. I spotted a small silver bell, a wooden box carved with various birds, and a little glass flower. It was not the same flower that is so prevalent elsewhere in her chambers (this one was a pale purple rather than pink), but still quite pretty.

While pondering that flower, I returned to the couch to compare it to the pink flower on her blanket and saw what she had been reading – “The Last Dragonlords,” my first, and still favourite, history of my house. It is not a particularly rigorous academic work, but I prefer it for the sense of wonder it has for the story of my ancestors.

If, at that point, I remembered any of what I wanted to say to her, the sight of that book, and the knowledge that she was somehow reading my favourite… I lost all words. I fear I fell silent for an uncomfortably long time, for she spoke next.

She wanted to know the reason for my visit. I asked her directly about the ruse of her headache. She seemed nervous, so I told her I do the same and that I often experience lingering pain. I was tempted to remove my patch and show her, but… she was already quite nervous. I did not want to make her more so, or frighten her so thoroughly that she will never warm to me.

What lay beneath his eyepatch that would frighten you so? You had heard many rumours. That his lost eye was nothing more than a pit of darkness. That he had replaced it with a jewel. That an ever-burning fire, fueled by his hatred and rage, burned within.

Despite the stories, you felt a twinge of shame and hurt that, despite his love for you, he did not trust you with seeing him truly bare. He thought you could be frightened away.

Somehow, that shame far overshadowed any curiosity or fear about what lay beneath the brown leather of his eyepatch.

I could already tell it wasn’t going to go how I wanted – she would not meet my eye. So, I offered to leave. I would not impose myself on her when she did not want me to. That is not how I want to start this. Or, start it again.

But she did want me to go! At least, that is what I thought she meant. I am not so sure anymore. She said something about my right to be there as her husband. At the time, I thought it was her shy way of asking me to stay. Now… I think she may have just been repeating something her mother or a Septa taught her.

There was another small patch of angry scribbles.

I’m so stupid! And hardly better than Aegon. No – she may not have been particularly enthusiastic, but I am sure if she genuinely did not want me there, she would have said so. And I would have obeyed. After all, she was quick to ask me to stop some of the other things I tried to do.

She did not like the kissing.

When I first mentioned that I would like to lie with her – which I foolishly reasoned was out of my desire for an heir instead of my desire for her – she simply laid on the bed like on our wedding night. But that is not what I want. I do not want this to simply be a union of duty! At least, not anymore. And I so wanted to kiss her.

So, I beckoned her to me, and she obeyed. My hopes that this would be different were still relatively high. I got closer, touched her face, and asked if I could kiss her.

And she asked, ‘Why?’

I swear that one little word hurt more than any pain I’ve felt in the training yard. Almost more than… well, not quite more than that. But close.

I could not think of any reason other than that she is my wife, and I love her and want more than anything to kiss her. I only told her the former and the latter, for I think if I told her I loved her, she would have been more afraid than if she had seen me without my patch. And the gods must be good, for she said yes.

Then I kissed her. I held her close, and I kissed her.

It was the most wonderful thing! She was soft and warm. And when I laced my hand through her hair, she made the most delightful sound! I could have just kissed her forever.

But then it was over. She shouted and pushed me away. It was… it was just after I tried to use my tongue. I don’t think she liked it.

She asked me why I ‘needed’ to kiss her. She must have disliked it very much.

I had no other explanation than what I had already offered. At least, none that I could tell her without sending her running from me forever. So I stopped and told her I did not need it – the first lie I’ve ever told her.

When she moved back to the bed, I could not help myself. I could not let us be in a marriage where we lie together out of nothing more than duty, fully clothed and anxious to get it over with. It was foolish, and I probably scared her with the request, but I asked her to remove her nightgown. She had already taken off her robe – a massive thing in her house colours that practically drowns her.

You allowed a brief kernel of anger to spark within you, enough for you to pick up your pen and write him another little message in your diary.

‘That robe is dear to me, thank you very much. What is it that makes you hate it so?’

There is nothing more beautiful in the world than her. She puts even the Maiden to shame. I would have been happy to stare at her, to take in that beauty until I had my fill – if I would ever get my fill.

She got on the bed and positioned herself exactly how she was on our wedding night. Not quite how I pictured it, but considering her hesitancy, I did not want to push her.

It took all my control to stop myself from kissing her again when I undressed and joined her. But I did. I also resisted doing anything more than just looking at her breasts.

I sat between her legs and stared at her. While I was more than ready to begin, she was not. At all. Of course, I knew I would have to prepare her, but I hoped she would have had at least some desire for me already.

I started with gentle touches, drawing circles on her thighs. She shivered a bit when I began, but she didn’t ask me to stop. From where I was sitting, I could tell she enjoyed it, even if she didn’t understand it. She did ask me to explain, and my answer was probably lacking – how does one explain why he was so inadequate? – but she gave a small nod when I promised that tonight would be better.

Then I finally touched her where I really wanted to and was delighted to find her… well, not as wet as I’d hoped, but it was an improvement upon our wedding night! I ran my fingers over her entrance, hoping to coax more wetness from her before I truly began. And when I looked at her again to ensure I wasn’t hurting her, she smiled at me!

Encouraged, I kept my fingers at her entrance, not venturing inside yet, but continuing my preparations there while I began to seek her pearl. As the books said, I only had to draw a straight line upward from her entrance to find it.

And, oh, when I found it! Her eyes snapped shut, her back arched off the bed, and the most glorious whine escaped her! It was everything I had imagined and more. Gods, I think I could have peaked just from watching her as I circled her pearl again and again, faster and faster.

But then, she asked me to stop – begged me to.

I thought I must have done something wrong, but she shook her head when I asked if it hurt. And when I asked if it felt good, she would not answer. She merely requested that I get on with what I needed to do and leave, for she was tired. This wound cut even deeper than before with the kissing.

I wanted to prepare her more – I was going to use my mouth on her. To show her how dearly I wish to please her, how much I want to worship and love her, if only she’d let me.

In anticipation of that act, I have been consulting Coryanne Wylde’s various accounts and expert critiques of the act in order to form the perfect strategy.

To begin, I would undress her, as I planned to do on our wedding night, laying gentle, nearly chaste kisses on each new bit of skin I revealed. Once she was bare, I would kiss her. Deeply. To give her a taste of what is to come. Then, I would kiss my way down. Her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, her breasts, and the plane of her stomach.

Once I made it past her navel, I would take her leg in my hand and begin a new trail of kisses upwards. The book says to start at the ankle, but I am too impatient for that – I will begin at the knee instead.

Just when she thought I was finally about to give her what she craved more than anything, I would once again change course to kiss her lips one final time. Then, I would descend.

I would start slowly, experimenting with different tactics to determine what drives her deliciously mad. Once I knew, I would feast. I would devour her like her pleasure was the air I needed to breathe. Like her cries of pleasure were beautiful music, and I would die if it ever stopped.

I would bring her to peak once with my mouth on her entrance. Again on her pearl. Then again and again in whichever way made her scream the loudest.

Only when she was so drunk with pleasure that she could no longer rise to meet my mouth or grasp at my hair would I relent. I would make my way back up to her mouth and soothe her with gentle kisses until she had regained herself and was begging for me to finally fuck her.

But I didn’t get to do any of that.

She asked me to stop, so I did. I pumped myself a little to ensure the disappointment hadn’t rendered me incapable of performing my duty and entered her.

The preparation did help. Entering her was easier, and she did not wince as much as the first time. And she felt even more heavenly somehow. The feeling was so intense that I had to take a moment to remind myself that she only wanted me to finish quickly so she would not have to endure me any longer.

So, I fucked her. I did not make love to her, as is my true desire. I just fucked her, like she was just any woman and not the love of my life.

And then, a miracle! I thrust into her, something about the angle allowing me in quite deep, and she reacted. She gasped, breathless, and her hips snapped up to meet mine. I froze in surprise and elation. I found her ‘sweet spot!’

But when I smiled at her, she turned away and refused to look at me again.

I just kept going. I did not try to hit that spot again, so as to not upset her further. I finished as quickly as I could and left the bed.

It was stupid of me, but I turned back to her after dressing. Everything had gone so horribly, but I still love her. I still need her. So I could not just leave her like that.

I asked if I could kiss her again. She let me. I was quick, as promised.

Then I came back here, once again alone and no closer to earning her love than I was before.

I must meet with my advisors again tomorrow. Perhaps they can help me understand why I keep fucking this up so badly when all I want is for her to let me love her the way I want to and for her to love me in return.

Your heart ached so severely that you thought there might be bruises when you looked down at your chest. But there was just skin – skin that Aemond would have happily kissed, had you let him.

As horrible and confusing as that night had been for you, it had been so tenfold for Aemond. He had wanted a grand, romantic evening, and you had greeted him with only coldness and suspicion.

He called you ‘the love of his life.’ You ran your finger over those words so many times that they became smudged, then went to write something in your diary but halted with your pen hovering over the paper.

What could you write to match what he’d said about you? Even if you could, would it really be true? How many times could you say, ‘I’m sorry?’

Well, at least one more time. ‘I’m so sorry, Aemond,’ you wrote, ‘I didn’t know, and I was still scared. Not of you, but of what I thought my life was to be. If you had only told me… I do not blame you, I swear. I just wish the both of us had been more honest with each other.’

You were far too exhausted to continue. It was not yet midafternoon, and you had already been from the near-heights of carnal pleasure to the depths of your despair that the unfortunate state of your marriage was, in actuality, mostly your fault.

So, after setting Aemond’s diary aside, you picked up your embroidery basket and began to work while your mind wandered.

It was only when your maids arrived to bring you dinner that you realised that, somehow, the dog roses you intended to make had become a sprawling wisteria vine.

-

You dreamed of the castle garden in late spring when all the flowers were in bloom. As you walked down the garden path, you saw every colour imaginable amongst the vibrant greens. But there was only one flower you really wanted to see – and the man you knew would be waiting for you beneath them.

Just as the first purple tendrils came into view, the dream faded, and you woke to see the first hints of dawn still beneath the horizon.

Drawing your blankets over your head, you squeezed your eyes shut and stubbornly tried to fall back asleep and return to your dream – to no avail. You were well and truly awake. And it would be some time before your maids came to dress you for the day.

So, dragging the blanket from your bed with you, you trudged back into your solar and settled into the couch before picking up Aemond’s diary again.

The 27th day in the 5th moon of the year

I met with Lord Wylde, Grand Maester Orwyle, and Aegon this morning. They had advice, but it was not as… straightforward as I had hoped. There is no simple trick to get her to love me. Nothing I can study from a book and then implement with assured success.

I have to woo her. I have to be witty and pleasant and charming and… romantic.

I do not think this is going to work.

Especially not after my first attempt was so disastrous.

Lord Wylde asked that I tell him about her, so I did. When he learned she enjoys reading as much as I do, he suggested I try to find common ground there. So, I went to try and find her in the library.

She was exactly where she was the last time I saw her there, still reading “The Last Dragonlords.” I watched her for a moment, savouring the look of contentment on her face as she read, as well as a few quick reactions to the book. How I love it when her nose scrunches in displeasure!

‘That is quite the odd thing to fixate on,’ you wrote in your diary. It seemed a decent night’s sleep had helped recover some of your humour. ‘What is it, in particular, that you like about my scrunched nose?’

She did smile at me when I approached, but I think she thought I was a Maester, for her smile faltered when I greeted her. And she was so shy. Usually, when I struggle to find the right words, she breaks the silence. Today, she did not.

At least it gave me time to remember why I came to the library. She was still reading “The Last Dragonlords,” so I told her it was my favourite and asked if I could join her. I think she was somewhat embarrassed about reading a children’s book, but I assured her it was no matter and that I would nonetheless enjoy reading it with her, and she allowed me to sit with her.

My plan was to sit with her, discuss the histories, and perhaps, in time, hold her hand as a first step toward genuine affection. But the plan quickly went awry.

It all happened so fast that I don’t even remember exactly what I said. But somehow, I insinuated that she was not intelligent enough to understand the book. The book meant for children – young children.

She was very upset with me. Rightfully so! Still upset enough that she stormed out of the library after making several cutting remarks that proved that she is, in fact, quite intelligent.

After several minutes and a brief reprimand from one of the Maesters, I finally gathered myself enough to realise that she had left the book there. As well as several pages of notes.

Of course, the noble thing would have been to not look and ask a servant to return them to her. But in that moment, I was desperate, not noble. So, I looked.

Her notes were beautifully organised and remarkably thorough – the work of a true scholar! She even crafted a beautiful family tree all the way through Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters. Had I not fumbled our initial interaction so entirely, we would have had a wonderful discussion.

You had feared him finding the notes, but you had never considered that he would be impressed rather than arrogantly amused. It made sense now that you knew his true nature. Perhaps, once whatever was between you was resolved, you could have that discussion.

In all honesty, there were a few questions you had that you hoped he would be able to answer. Not least of which being why in more than a thousand years, Targaryens had only come up with a dozen names that they repeated over and over again. You wrote as much in your diary.

It was useless for me to sulk in the library, agonising over what I should have said, so I gathered the book and her notes and left the library.

An apology was more than necessary, so I went to Aegon’s rooms. After all, there is perhaps no one with more experience apologising to women. Even if his apologies are self-serving.

When I arrived, I found Mother had already found Aegon first, and was well into another tirade about his behaviour. Normally, I would be happy to watch Mother yelling at him, but I did not feel I had time to. And Aegon was glad that I granted him a reprieve.

Admittedly, I had not wanted to admit to Mother that my wife and I were… not as close as I wanted. But, as she always is, she was eminently understanding, and far more helpful than Aegon was. His only suggestion was to bring her something nice – jewels, silks, or the like.

On the other hand, Mother gave me sage advice on what to say when I go to her. As my words have been my primary point of failure, I was very grateful for this. She did also say that a gift would not be amiss. An ‘offering of peace,’ she called it. But she advised something personal, not luxurious. If the gift is too valuable, she says, it will seem as if I am trying to buy her forgiveness rather than earn it.

I knew immediately what I should get her. I thanked Mother (and Aegon) and left at once for the gardens.

I found them – the flowers she loves so dearly. Dog roses, they are called. Unfortunately, they do not grow well in our climate, but the Maester’s managed to coax a few to bloom with their various potions and other horticultural creations.

They are almost as beautiful as her.

The Maester I spoke to said that it would be best if I had them cut just before I brought them to her, to preserve their beauty. So that is what I will do.

I will not practice tonight. At least… not that kind of practice. Instead, I will rehearse my apology. I cannot fail tomorrow.

You winced slightly, knowing that the next day would not go as Aemond planned and feeling as though it was your fault. But there was no changing that now. And you had already apologised – often and profusely.

So, you wrote only a simple note: ‘I don’t recall seeing dog roses on our tour of the gardens. Did you pluck them all?’

Looking back at his diary, you took a deep, steadying breath. Only two ribbons left.

The 28th day in the 5th moon of the year

I am the stupidest, most idiotic man in all the seven fucking kingdoms.

All I was trying to do was apologise to her for my unkind – though unintentionally so! – words in the library, but somehow it ended with her crying and me fleeing from her chambers yet again.

You cringed at the memory, almost not wanting to read on.

Aegon gladly offered his explanation, even after I told him I did not want it. He insists that I have so thoroughly repulsed her that she cannot help but burst into tears at the sight of me.

Mother thinks that she is just missing her family and her home, as she said. That she is overwhelmed by being alone in a strange place, and the familiar sight of the flowers – dog roses, as I have learned – brought those feelings to bursting.

Perhaps Mother is right. But her parents left a fortnight ago, and she has shown no other signs of homesickness. And she is not alone! She has the other ladies of the court to talk to, and Helaena and Mother adore her. And me.

If she came to me, I would do anything to cheer her. Not that she would seek comfort from me, no matter how dearly I wish she would. She certainly won’t after today.

After the disaster in the library yesterday and the scolding I received from Grand Maester Orwyle after my training this morning, I knew beyond a doubt that I needed to apologise. I… the shame I feel for having played any part in the state Orwyle described her in is unbearable.

So, I went to the gardens and had a Maester cut the flowers for me and arrange them in a simple bouquet.

She was on her couch when I arrived in her rooms – still in her nightgown and that robe. And again, she did not look at me. She had eyes only for the flowers. I thought then that they had been the right choice.

I apologised, but she did not react. She still just stared at the bouquet. So, I went ahead with the rest of my apology.

Then she touched my hand. It startled me, and I pulled away from her on instinct, dropping the bouquet in her lap. She looked at them like I had dropped a helpless kitten rather than flowers!

And she started crying. Softly, the tears welling in her eyes for a long moment before spilling over. I do not understand what I did to upset her. I said only what I had planned last night. It was so hard to resist brushing the tears away, but she seemed nearly volatile, and I did not want to make things worse.

‘I miss home,’ she said, finally.

It did sting that she does not consider King’s Landing and her life with me her home – it still does. But she is hundreds of miles away from the family of her birth, from the people who have undoubtedly treated her better than I have. I cannot blame her.

I apologised again for upsetting her and left.

At dinner, I had planned to ask Mother and Grandsire if we could find a way to send her home, at least for a little while. So she could be happy. Perhaps I could even go with her. I might have an easier time talking to her without the pressures of my family and the capital upon me.

You smiled at the thought of Aemond at your home keep. Of him in all his black leather among the fields of dog roses. Talking with your father in the library. Him training with your brothers – you were confident he could defeat any one of them alone, but knowing your brothers, they would absolutely gang up on him.

‘One day,’ you wrote, ‘I would love to show you my home.’

I was waiting for the opportunity to ask when she arrived! After this afternoon, I did not think she would come to dinner, but she did! I could have wept for my relief.

And when I offered my hand to her, she took it. Not only that, but she squeezed it – hard. I think believe it was her way of accepting my apology.

She did not speak during dinner, nor did anyone ask her too many questions. Aegon was his typically infuriating self, silently encouraging me to do something with her. What he expects me to do when in front of the entire family, I do not know.

After the meal, I offered to escort her back to her chambers, which she accepted. And once we were alone, she thanked me for the flowers!

It was going unusually well. That is, until I decided to open my mouth. I only meant to compliment her, as she did look quite beautiful, but… I just kept talking. And then I had suddenly insulted her gown from yesterday and her robe.

She closed herself off from me then, shoving away my arm. Why could I not just shut up? I know my words are the source of so many of our misunderstandings, yet I keep talking! At this point, I am strongly considering a vow of silence.

‘Please don’t take a vow of silence!’ you wrote, scrambling for your diary as if it mattered how quickly you got the words down. ‘Your voice is far too lovely for me to never hear it again.’

Tomorrow, I am going to try a suggestion from Lord Wylde. Show her that I am not a failure in everything I do. I pray it works.

You turned the page, expecting to find the entry for the next day, but there was none. There had been a page between the entries for the 28th and the 30th, but it had been sloppily torn out. All that remained was the beginnings of the date in the upper corner.

It was entirely against what you knew of Aemond. The man who had dutifully started his journal on the first day of the year and began each entry on a new page would not do something like this.

What had upset him so? Had you said something to him?

No, of course not. The only time you had seen him that day was in the training yard, and you hadn’t spoken to each other, not after… not after he stormed off. Had he actually been hurt in his fight with the Kingsguard? Or was he just embarrassed that you had witnessed him fall?

Gods, how you wished you had gone to him that night. But perhaps you could make up for it now.

‘After you were absent for dinner,’ you wrote to him in your diary, ‘I almost came to your rooms. I was worried for you. Though I confess, that was the only reason I found myself walking toward you… I missed you, at dinner. I missed you helping me into my chair. I missed your smile. I missed the way you’d hold the plates for me. Most of all, I missed your voice, and your presence next to me.’

You sniffled slightly, staring at a lamp on your wall to dry the tears that were forming before finishing the entry, ‘I’ve missed you these past days, as well. But I’m almost done. I’ll see you soon.’

The 30th day in the 5th moon of the year

I have made my gravest sin yet. And my most foolish.

We had the perfect morning together in the gardens. Silent, mostly, but perfect. She smiled at me! She allowed me to lead her through the gardens on my arm. It was… precisely what I had hoped for.

Until I once again acted like an absolute fucking fool.

Before I had to leave for court, I asked if I could come to her rooms that night. And for one perfect moment, I really believed she was going to say yes.

But then she mentioned her moon’s blood, and I just… panicked. I am not entirely an idiot (though I become less sure of that declaration with each passing moment), I know what that means.

It means that I’ve failed her. In even more ways than I knew.

I have made her miserable. I have made her cry. I have failed in every duty of a good husband, including the most basic of tasks – I have not given her a child.

I cannot go on like this – trapped in an endless cycle of misery where I can do nothing but hurt the both of us. I must do something to free us from this.

It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t love or even like me. I just want her to be happy. If that means that I never get to see her or love her again, I will make myself accept that.

First, she needs to know why I’ve acted this way. To know my true feelings so she can decide what she wants me to do. Gods, if she wanted me to go to Essos and never return, I would.

A blot of ink covered half the page, as though he had simply set his pen down while he thought.

I know what to do. I just pray she understands.

“I understand,” you said aloud, as though Aemond were before you. But, of course, he wasn’t. He was halfway across the castle, a distance that suddenly felt like the Narrow Sea itself. Throwing down your blanket, you shouted for your maids to dress you at once, your morning meal be damned. The moment finished tying off the last lace of your gown, you ran.

You had only been shown where Aemond’s chambers were once – on your first tour of the Holdfast. Then, you did not know whether to be disappointed or thankful that they were far from yours. Now, as your nervousness flooded through every part of your body, you hated the distance more than anything.

Each step was an effort, as with every one, your legs felt heavier and heavier, as if they were made of iron. Your blood felt as though it was rushing dangerously fast, carrying with it a marked chill. Despite feeling frozen within, sweat still somehow beaded at your brow. Yet you could not wipe it away, for your hands were all but stitched to the two diaries you carried.

Was this a terrible idea? Would Aemond laugh at you for all your silly little notes? Would he be angry with you for taking days to fulfil his request? You came to a halt in the middle of the corridor, tears prickling in your eyes as you considered so many horrible possibilities.

No, you thought, the word echoed by the impact of your foot on stone as you took a heavy, sure step forward.

The Aemond you thought you knew would do those things. But that Aemond wasn’t real – and never was. He had only ever lived in your terrified imagination.

The real Aemond was the one who had been so awestruck upon first seeing you that he could not say anything other than your name. Who had fallen for you so quickly and with such intensity that he forgot how to act like a proper person and instead stumbled over his words and actions like a drunk man through a crowded alley. Who had been so desperate for you to return his affections that he swallowed his pride to seek help. And who had finally given you his diary when he could think of no other way to show you how he really felt and who he truly was.

It was the thought of finally meeting that Aemond that made you put one foot in front of the other, faster and faster, until you were sprinting down the halls, only stopping when you came to the door you had seen only once before – his door.

You did not understand how you had found it again after only seeing it only once before. Nor did you remember knocking on the smooth, dark wood.

But then you heard footsteps approaching.

Hastily, you transferred the diaries to one hand and wiped the sweat from your brow with the sleeve of the other. You wanted to straighten your hair, for it had surely come loose from its braid after running so fast. But there was no time for that.

There was the dull, metallic sound of the door being unlatched, and then there he was.

Aemond stood before you, breathing heavily himself as though he, too, had been running. His silver hair was mussed, and there were smudges of purple beneath his widened eyes – his eyes.

He was not wearing his eyepatch.

Your mouth fell open at the sight. At least one of the rumours had been true. Beneath the raised, rough skin of his scar, in place of his lost eye, was a brilliant blue sapphire. It suited him perfectly and was perhaps the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

He looked at you for a moment, the corners of his mouth lifting in a hesitant smile before realising what had caught your attention so thoroughly.

“Oh gods,” he whispered, covering the sapphire with his hands and turning away. He took a few steps into the room before speaking again. “I did not mean for you to see this. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please…”

You said nothing. Silently, you moved into the room and shut the door. Aemond stared at you, his good eye watering as you approached him.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “You should not have had to – ” He startled when you brought your free hand up to his wrist and started trying to tug his hand away from his face. “What are you…?”

When your only response was to continue tugging, he relented, allowing you to lower his hand. He swallowed thickly, fixing his good eye on the wall behind you instead of at you. Seeing his shyness, and now knowing it for what it was, almost made you smile.

But your own shyness took hold of you as you guided his hand down and wrapped it around the spines of the twin journals you held. When you looked back up at Aemond, he was staring at them and the green ribbon that now marked a page within your diary.

“I don’t understand,” he breathed, tightening his hold on the books.

With a slight smirk, you gazed up at him and dropped your hand from the diaries. “It’s your turn.”

[mrsmikaelsxn]

Pride and Pigeons

masterlist

pairing: harry potter x any gender reader

warnings: fluff, kissing

summary: a fluffy imagine of you and harry - requested by anon

a/n: you ask for harry fluff, you shall receive harry fluff :)

song: moon - siggerr

Sitting on the couch in the common room you glance at the fire as it crackles.

It was the holidays and most people were home. Harry told you he was staying, so you decided to join him. He gave up trying to convince you that you didn't have to stay for him awhile ago.

You look down at the book in your hands and then turn your head to look out the window, getting a wonderful view of the snow falling outside. Hogwarts was so beautiful when it was covered in snow.

Harry walks out of his room and heads down the stairs quietly. He spots you cuddled up under a blanket by the fire with your book and he smiles softly.

He heads over to you and plops down next to you on the couch, places a kiss on your cheek, and puts his head on your lap. You instinctively run one of your hands through his hair, "Good morning, Harry."

"Morning, love," he looks at your eyes scanning the pages. He watches how your facial expressions change ever so slightly as you get to certain points of the novel. "You are so pretty."

You feel your cheeks warm and you look at his grinning face. "Thank you." Flipping the page, you glance back at him, "For the record, I think you're also pretty."

"Why, thank you. What book is that?"

"Pride and Prejudice. One of my favorite classics," you beam.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Pride and Pigeons?"

You laugh and lightly wack his head with the book. "No you daft dimbo."

"I'm only joking!" Harry laughs and holds his hands up in mock surrender.

"Mhm. Anyway, it's a beautiful book. You should read it some time, I can lend you one of my copies."

"One of your copies? How many do you have?"

You look up and think as you count to yourself. "Nine. I think."

"Nine?! Who needs nine copies of the same book?" Harry looks at you with bewilderment.

"There are just a bunch of different pretty versions," you shrug. "I'll give you one of my favorites, with annotations- which is very generous of me because I don't let people borrow my books."

"Except Hermione."

You nod, "Except Hermione." You look back down to the page and continue reading, but you feel Harry's eyes studying you. You look and meet his adoring gaze, "What?"

"Nothing. You're just so... perfect," he sighs dreamily.

You sigh with a smile and pick up your bookmark. You mark the page you're on and put the book down on the table.

Harry pulls himself up a bit and you reach him halfway down, placing your lips softly on his. You feel him smile against your lips and you run your hand through his hair and put the other on the back of his neck.

You pull away after a bit and he drops back down onto your lap and closes his eyes in bliss. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you m-"

You put your hand over his mouth, effectively shushing him. "Every time we do this we just go back and forth on who loves each other more."

"Yeah," he grins, "you're right."

"When am I not?"

He scoffs, "Would you like me to make a list?"

You gasp and put a hand on your chest, "Why are you calling it a list if nothing is going to be on it?"

"Ha ha, very funny." A moment goes by as you enjoy each other's presence in a comfortable silence. "Question," he says.

"Shoot."

"Did you want to go to hogsmeade with me tomorrow? We can get some butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks and wherever else you want."

"Can we get a pet?!"

"No."

"Oh, please, Harry!" you beg him with your best puppy dog eyes. You learned how to do them from the best, Sirius Black. Who better to learn puppy dog eyes from than a dog himself.

"No," he says but you can see he's starting to give in. As he looks at you pleading he has to do everything he can to hold himself from saying yes.

"Harry. Pretty please? With five cherries, whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate shavings, and caramel on top?"

"Treacle tarts on the side?"

"Treacle tarts on the side."

He looks at your pouting mouth and brings his lips to yours for a quick peck. "How can I say no to that?"

You jump up in excitement and accidentally knock Harry onto the floor. "Oh, Harry! I'm sorry!" You pull him up.

He rubs the back of his head, "Thanks."

"I'm going to get a kitten! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You're most very welcome, darling. A kitten though?"

"Well, I would get a dog but I don't think Snape would be happy if I sent it to chew on his shoes- which I would totally do."

Harry laughs, "I would love to see that."

"Harry! Do you know what this means?!" you bite your lip with exhilaration.

"We're getting a kitten?"

You roll your eyes, "Obviously," you say in your best Snape impression. "It means we are going to be parents!"

"O-oh! Parents!" Harry stutters at the thought of being a parent with you. He would love nothing more than to have kids with you one day.

"I wonder if they sell clothes. If not then I'll make some. Hm, do you think that Molly will know how to knit clothing for a cat."

"Probably."

You walk to Harry and bring him into a tight hug. He rests his head on your shoulder and places a sweet kiss to your neck. "Thank you, Harry."

"If getting a kitten makes you smile at me like that, then I am more than happy to buy you one," he trails his finger up and down your back, enjoying every second of your warm embrace.

"That's very sweet... I think we should name it Harold Jr."

[fckeddiemunson]

Blurred Lines Pt. 2

Part One Here:

Summary: What was a one time thing is turning into a full fledged affair

Warnings: 18+ONLY MDNI. some choking, p in v, creampie, more cheating, handjob, spitting

Notes: AHH ok part 2 is here! Please enjoy, I may make a part 3 i have some ideas.....

2750 words

Getting away with cheating is not a humbling feeling. It boosts your ego without even realising it. And then suddenly you’re taking risks you never would have before. You think you’re untouchable. Especially in this case when there’s two parties involved who have so much to lose. It doesn’t get any better with time either, the longer you aren’t caught for the less careful you become about hiding fleeting glances, small, overlooked touches. Then there’s after work. Going back to your respective homes, playing a husband and father or playing a dutiful fiancé. You think it won’t catch up to you, but it always will.

The immediate day after you were with Rusty, you called in sick – something you had never done. You were sick to your stomach that day, you couldn’t even be at home. Dom was at home sleeping in the same bed you let Rusty fuck you in, worse in the same sheets. Your absence was met with a slew of texts from Rusty, get better soon, hope you’re in tomorrow, where’s the link to my google calendar?, please sweetheart I’m useless without you. It was honestly a bit overwhelming. You spent most of that day in your car, driving past the office about ten times like a maniac. Once evening hit and you knew Dom would have left for work you went home. You collapsed once inside, relief rushing through you at being alone. You breathed deeply and smelt the dinner Dom had cooked and left warming in the oven for you. despite the rough patch you were having, he still made time for you like this, it made you sick thinking about it. You frowned, a twinge of guilt coursed through you as picked at the food, not very hungry. Your phone vibrated, filling the silent void you had cocooned yourself in. you felt even worse checking the message, from Dom sending his love and hoping you enjoyed dinner. Sending back a message with love hearts you shut your phone and cringed. But as you sat there longer, chewing slowly on the potatoes your loving fiancé had cooked. You made a decision.  A decision to not let this effect you. Evidently you had gotten away with it. Everything would be fine so long as it remained a one-time thing.

The next morning you walked into the office with your head held high. Rusty had beat you into the office, not many people had filed in this early. You marched into his office locked the door and leaned against the door with your arms crossed.

“The other night was a one-time thing.” Your stern voice almost echoed in the room.

“Jesus. Keep your voice down!” Rusty looked suspiciously out the little window, not a soul was around besides the two of you. Ignoring him a little you continued; “I don’t regret it, god, I don’t regret it, but we have lives we must maintain.”

“I agree. We work so well together is all. We got carried away is what happened. For the record, I don’t regret it either, I should but I don’t. Shall we begin the day? Coffee?” Rusty had already made you a cup, it sat next to his on the desk. And just like that. It was swept under the rug, nothing more needed to be said.

A week passed uneventfully; more prep work was done for the woman whose body was found in the dumpster. The trial really was only another few weeks away and at this point it seemed cut and dry, open and closed. All thanks to your hard (very hard) work with Rusty that night. It wasn’t until you felt yourself staring at Rusty again when you should’ve been working that you felt concerned again. You felt an invisible tug towards him, a shudder in your lower stomach when you studied his lips for too long. You were reminded how good they felt on you, how good they felt on your neck – no. You shook your head, trying to snap out of your daydream, or more memory of Rusty.

The next week was full of late nights in the office with Rusty, the case now was too sensitive and confidential to work on anywhere else. Most of your team was in the office until about 8pm. It was the Friday before the trial was set to start, the following Monday. It was now approaching 8:30pm, everyone had already vacated, under the impression that we wouldn’t discover anything new this close to trial. But Rusty was insistent, he was beyond thorough and would not stop until he was satisfied there was nothing else to find. You had organised food for the two of you and stood in the break room, dishing up a plate of chicken and rice. Rusty was standing over his desk when you took it in, his hand catching yours as you placed his food.

“You know I really appreciate you. You’re the best assistant anyone could ask for.” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand, smiling.

“I’m much more than an assistant you know” You whispered, sliding your hand away.

“You’re so much more.” Rusty said quietly, you looked back at him. Without thinking, you tilted your head up and kissed him, eyes closing briefly. He kissed back, leaning into you. But it was all over too quickly, you pulled away, scurrying back to the break room to grab your food. You stood there with your hands on your hips, staring at the ground in disbelief. Another decision was made in that moment. The true point of no return.

**

“Fuck!” Rusty yelled after a few more hours of meticulous reading and frustrated re-reading of the case files.

“There’s just nothing else. I can’t find anything to fortify our case further.” Rusty slumped in his office chair, rubbing his temples and frowning.

“Maybe that’s because its already foolproof.” You offered, throwing your stack of papers back on the desk.

“No, it has to be better.” Rusty almost snapped, frustration overcoming him. You rolled your eyes, not appreciating the tone.

“Come on. Grab your things.” In a moment you were up, handbag and laptop in hand.

“What, why?” Rusty slowly got up, grabbing his things and attempting to tidy up before leaving for the weekend.

“We’re going to clear our heads.” You headed for the elevator; Rusty followed behind chuckling after you. Rusty’s arm brushed against yours the entire lift, he didn’t seem to want to move, and you were trying to stop yourself from moving closer to him. You looked at him again, his tie still tight from this morning. You placed your bag on the ground and reached up to his tie, dodging his gaze.

“Its now after work, got to loosen up a bit.” You loosened his tie, hands lingering on his chest, his warmth radiated up through your fingertips. In an instant, he backed you into the lift wall and kissed you deeply. You gasped as his hands pulled at the bottom of your shirt from your skirt, rucking it up and sliding his hands under. You felt his fingertips working upwards, running across your ribcage, feeling his way. He pulled his hands out and fiddled with the buttons up at your chest. The lift pinged as he undid two, exposing your cleavage to him, he looked smug as you walked to your car.

You drove the two of you to a cliff top lookout, it overlooked the whole city. At this time of night, you expected local teenagers with beer getting drunk, but it was thankfully deserted by the time you got up there. Rusty had asked many questions along the way, not a man who liked to be surprised. You had answered all of them, with Rusty kissing your hand. The city lights twinkled in the distance, feeling a lifetime away from the lookout. You sat in silence for a moment, both looking ahead at the view. It was you who broke the silence, sighing deeply and looking at Rusty.

“Fuck it.” You whispered, more to yourself and hiked up your skirt, climbing over the centre console, and into Rusty’s lap. He was amused, a smirk pulling at the edges of his lips.

“I don’t want it to be a one-time thing, Rusty. I want you. I have craved you ever since that night. I can’t stop thinking about you.” You knew you sounded obsessive and a bit crazy. You knew it was a lot to be asking of him, of anyone but that longing desire you had burned for him. You tried to be a head strong person, but you had somehow almost girl-bossed your way into an affair.

“I don’t like keeping secrets from my wife.” Rusty was already playing with the buttons on your shirt, teasing you.

“So, I’m sure you told her about the other night then?” You stared him down, lifting his chin and forcing his eyes to meet yours.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“Just shut up.” Rusty’s voice was harsh as he snaked his hands around the back of your head, pulling you down for a kiss. It was rough, all teeth nipping at each other’s lips. You let him kiss you, your hands snaking down to play with the buckle on his pants. Rusty let out a deep sigh as your hand brushed against him. He was rigid as the back of your hand stroked him, pulling his cock out of his pants. You eagerly spat, it landed on his cock, Rusty hissed at the contact. He bucked his hips when you touched him, a soft whine escaping his lips as you jerked him up and down with lazy strokes. You leant forward, lips connecting to his exposed neck, you felt a low warming in your stomach as you licked a stripe up his neck, stopping at his jawline and kissing him along it finally reaching his mouth. You licked his lower lip, begging for entrance, whining when he waved a hand through your hair pulling back, his grip firm. You locked eyes as your hand continued to stroke him up and down, now painfully hard, the tip blushing pink as you ran your thumb over the slit. Rusty grunted your name, his head falling back against the seat. Taking the opportunity, you kissed him, pulling him in and biting his lower lip, running your tongue against his now swollen lip.

Rusty took the chance and pushed you back, landing against the dashboard, your legs spread for him, pussy covered only by sheer stockings. You started pulling them down awkwardly, attempting to shimmy them off you when Rusty put his hand on yours to stop. His wicked smirk returned, hands grabbing on the material at the apex of your thighs, gripping tight and ripping a hole in them. A surprised gasp left your mouth as you stared at him through half closed lids, lustfully enjoying the way Rusty kneaded at your exposed thighs. His hand grabbed your thigh dangerously high, his thumb swiping over your underwear, brushing your clit. His thumb hooked under the band, feeling the warmth of your cunt as he inched towards your dripping entrance. A mix between a moan and a dark chuckle left his mouth when he felt how wet you were for him. How all it took was a hand-job to get you aching for him. He looked at you then, and you felt powerful, eyes following your hand down and gripping his dick as you leant forward and grinded your hips down onto him, his tip flicking against your clit.

“Please.” He whispered, hips meeting your grinding, breathless moans leaving him. You slipped forward, tilted your hips and sunk down slowly onto his length. Rusty was big, there was no way to put it lightly and you hissed at the burn sinking further onto him. He knew it too, he chuckled once you took him all the way, pausing to breathe deeply. You moaned as he bucked up impatiently, pulling you towards him and gripping your hips tightly urging you to move on him. Settling yourself, you placed your hands on the car seat for leverage and began moving your hips up and down. You felt his cock sliding in and out of you and you relished the feeling, short panting moans as your pace quickened. Rusty’s fingers kneaded and bruised your hips as you rode him, helping you move as he bucked in shallow thrusts from below. He felt so deep inside you, his cock nudging against the spongey spot making you mew for him. You ground yourself down on him, your clit rubbing back and forth over his neat patch of hair, and you released a moan, feeling yourself getting closer and closer.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” You whined as he tangled his hands in your hair, pulling you forward to kiss you. His thrusts deepened and quickened as you rested yourself on his shoulder, panting and moaning as his cock pumped in and out of you now almost harshly. He pushed you back against the dashboard, hand travelling up to your throat and holding you in place as he thrusted upwards into you, still seated in the car. His fingers wrapped around your throat, and he squeezed, testing the waters. Rusty groaned hotly, chuckling darkly as he felt your cunt clench when he squeezed. He did it again and you moaned, it came out high pitched and strained as Rusty kept his hand on your throat.

“Oh, you are a little slut for me, aren’t you?” Rusty’s voice had changed, he sounded rugged as he egged you on.

“My own personal stress relief. Isn’t that what you wanted, to ‘clear my head’?” Rusty felt his ego inflate ten-fold when he looked at you, mimicking your words from earlier. You met his eyes, cock drunk and watering as you held onto his hand, choking you. He tore his hand away from your throat, grabbed your leg and hitched it up higher, resting on his shoulder as he inched forward, fucking you deeper. You couldn’t answer him, you were too fucked out and teetering on the verge of an orgasm, eyes fluttering shut.

Rusty’s hand made its way to your cunt again, his thumb rubbed small circles on your clit, sending waves of pleasure through you. You jerked against his touch, suddenly becoming too much as your orgasm built in your stomach.

“Rusty, its too much” you attempted to move his hand, but he gripped your wrist and held it away, his thumb moving quicker against you.

“You can take it sweetheart.” His thrusts quickened, his pace becoming erratic and sharp.

“Fuck.” You breathed out, immediately whining as you spasmed. A hot and cold feeling washed over you as Rusty kept on fucking you through your orgasm. Your cunt pulsed, over stimulated and Rusty wasn’t stopping, he was chasing his own high. He grunted and pulled you closer to him, feeling him everywhere. He was too deep, he smelt too good, his arms wrapped around you possessively as he thrusted the last few times. He nestled against you, burying his head in your neck and breathing in deeply as he grabbed you tighter against him, moaning into your hair, his warm cum spilling into you. You eventually relaxed into his tight grip, too tired to move. Rusty felt too good in your arms to move as well, his hand stroked your hair, you could feel his cum dribbling out of you. Rusty made no attempt to move, just stayed locking you in his arms. The rush was subsiding, and you both enjoyed each other’s silent company. You both felt it thought. The pull towards one another. You could hear his mind turning over like cogs, both coming to another decision. It was another night spent with the wrong person. Another night spent with each other, but now he was your arms, feeling far too intimate to be just sex.

You were the first to break the silence, “Rusty, I don’t want to go home, yet.” Your hand snaked in behind his neck, tilting it up so you could look at him.

“I don’t want too either.” His voice was soft, almost as though he didn’t want to admit it to himself.

You don’t know how long you stayed up there, embraced in each other’s arms, but you knew something had changed. There was no going back after this.

[mcflymemes]

TO CATCH A THIEF PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 1955 film, adjust as necessary

not only did i enjoy that kiss last night, i was awed by its efficiency.

left in a hurry, huh?

i'm in love with you.

now that's a ridiculous thing to say.

you're leaving fingerprints on my arm.

[name], why bother?

my only comment would be highly censorable.

some nights a person doesn't need to drink.

the book you're reading is upside down!

they came for me an hour ago.

i called the police from your room and told them who you are and everything you've been doing tonight.

why don't you own a place like this?

the pastries are light as air.

even in this light, i can tell where your eyes are looking.

i haven't stolen a piece of jewelry in fifteen years.

what do you think of my kitchen?

now, let's get down to business.

now i am going to have you investigated.

coincidence can be terrible.

how many did you kill?

you are a man of obvious good taste in everything.

my nerves could stand a drink.

say something nice to her, [name].

you make the choice.

you're here in europe to buy a husband.

the man i want doesn't have a price.

so this is where you live?

thank you. you've been most unkind.

if i'm ever hungry, i'll eat someplace else.

what can i do for you, [name]?

you need clothes and money?

take my boat and go to the islands.

i'm thinking of going home to america.

i wouldn't put it past you.

it has to be somebody who knew every detail of my technique.

you don't believe me any more than the rest.

i don't like running, hiding, and leaving a trail of doubt in everyone's mind.

i shall defend you when i can.

the police are chasing the wrong man.

they're all looking for you.

i only made one mistake.

i was talking about the fireworks!

doesn't it make you nervous to be in the same room with thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, and unable to touch them?

you're mad.

if they catch you, nobody will believe what you say.

you have a rare skill for inspiring confidence.

i only do one favor a day.

look, if you don't want to do this...

you're getting us wet!

a man should never regret his past.

what's on your mind?

i was just thinking about you.

i work for a living.

you can't touch me.

i don't know what you wanted. i know what you got.

in that case, we should hurry.

may i ask you a personal question?

if you're caught, would you be angry with me if i pretended that i was going to give you up to the cops?

act as if you're a pretty girl out for a ride.

don't buy any new clothes with the money yet.

nobody will ever recognizes me in these.

we're both taking a big chance.

what happens to you if i'm caught?

you made a bad choice of profession.

suppose it falls into the wrong hands.

why don't we enjoy our lunch first?

i don't want to seem impatient.

for what it's worth, i only stole from people who wouldn't go hungry.

i'm sorry for ever starting in crime.

i look back with horror on every job i pulled.

something bothering you?

i'm having dinner with them tomorrow.

i will continue to complain.

want me to buy that for you?

i have an intense dislike for it.

[bluexiao]

#i love you, goodbye

—when they were about to confess their love… but you died / when they fail to confess to you

CHARACTERS. Albedo, Al-Haitham, Cyno, Gorou, Kazuha, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Xiao; gn! Reader

THEMES. main character death, angst, no comfort

WARNINGS. death (ofc), will not be too graphic

NOTES. still severely sick and stressed so here ya go. grab ur tissues i didn’t hold back in this one.

XIAO knew what love was—knew the affection he held to his brothers and sisters, and the love that emanated from the humans towards each other.

“You do know that humans… humans are very fragile, Xiao.”

He continues to bow his head in front of his god as he agrees, “I do.”

Zhongli said nothing more, but Xiao knew what he meant. It was advice. And a warning.

“Xiao!” You always called him with that beautiful voice of yours, ever so sweet, ever so tender as you bless him with your bright smile—a sun.

You are his sun.

“Xiao!” His heart would flutter once more—why do you have such an effect on him?—but at that point, he knew that no matter how hard he tried or tries to move away, your pull on him was strong, far stronger than the chains that were wrapped around his ever so fragile heart.

“Xiao…” it was on the third call that he decided to show up. He had been fighting enemies for the first two ones, and besides, you usually call him to merely see him or “hang” with him—a word you’d use as you try to lean into his side, your skin brushing his hands—so close yet not tied to each other.

He showed up, but he was far too late.

He was wrong.

“Y/n!” he calls your name this time—shouts it as he quickly approaches your figure.

“Y/n…” he pulls your body to his, empty and hollow, devoid of the same bright sunlight plastered in your face, the same beaming smile and shining eyes that could light up the night—light up his whole world.

“Y/n…” he wanted to say how he loves you so, how you bring out the best of him, and how he wanted to thank you for everything, for your patience, your presence, your love, your mere existence in his karmic-filled life.

But you were not there to hear anything of it.

And so he cries—cries under the same heavens that also took his brothers and sisters, cries because he couldn’t be there to save you when you were probably hurting, and he cries because of his own weakness—how he could love and always have that same love be taken away from him.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

SCARAMOUCHE has had many betrayals.

But yours probably hurts the most.

“What happened?”

He glared at the Fatuus in front of him, kneeling on their knees with their heads bowed down in shame.

He crouches into one of them and sends daggers with his gaze, “I asked what happened here.”

The Fatuu trembled upon the sound of his voice, “M-my lord… it happened so suddenly, we couldn’t-their sickness-“

“Useless!” He releases a strike of his power and his subordinates immediately move to dodge, but they couldn’t walk away, not when they know that in the end, they can never run away from the Sixth Harbinger.

Yet unexpectedly, he trudges forward, to the big tent that laid in the middle of the camp, his footsteps and breathing heavy, hands trembling—of anger? Of fear?

No. A divine being such as him doesn’t tremble of fear.

Even when his knees give up beside the bed where you currently lay peacefully, even if he tries to control the tears that threaten to escape his eyes, he reaches for your hands.

Cold. So cold—like the night where he picked up the stars and called you as his—his star.

But it seems stars do die as well.

Pathetic.

And he’s even more pathetic to believe that humans will never betray him—that you never would.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

VENTI sings of love to you, yet today marks the day that he shall confess outrightly—genuinely, with a promise of tomorrow’s kisses and hugs.

“Shhh, darling. No need to worry for me,” he smiles, “rest now. Shall I sing you a lullaby?”

He catches you forcing your own smile, and it pains him how you raise your hand and touch his cheek, which he holds and presses your palm on his skin, as if he was trying to transfer the warmth he has towards your frail form.

“Venti…” you let out your voice, hoarse and weak, “you knew… didn’t you?”

He purses his lips and his chest aches.

“You don’t have to… act like you love me too.”

He fails to catch his own tears, dribbling down his cheeks as he struggles to find the words.

“I-“

“I love you... But please don’t… pretend… for me.”

He squeezes your hand, and just as he was to utter the same words you did, to confess those three words that laid stuck in his throat—

“Y/n?” Instead, it was your name that he attempted to call, then he shook you, only to receive no word back.

“I…” I love you too—he wanted to say, but it died down. Once again.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

There is danger in the forest, just as much as there are things to discover and admire. That is what TIGHNARI used to say to you.

It was a flora, a flower he had asked you to try and find—the same ones he was collecting for you, a suggestion from Collei for him to profess his love to you.

Let’s get this over with, he thinks. After all, he does love you, and it was an idea that seemed fairly interesting, to ask you to look for a flower and for him to give you the whole bouquet once you reach his side.

The thing is, you never did.

He was silent when he reached the village, his ears downwards as nobody dared to approach him. It was the aura he emitted, the faint heaviness of his footsteps, and the body that he held close to his own.

“Master-“ Collei tries, but someone else stops her, shakes their head as the girl merely frowns. How could this be? She begins to think, one minute you were there and the second…

“Collei,” she casts her thoughts aside as Tighnari finally speaks, yet he doesn’t turn to face them, halted in front of his abode as he adds on, “can you… prepare some water… to clean their wounds.”

“O-of course!” Her heart was pounding, but no matter how unprepared she was to see you-

“I’ll do the rest… don’t worry.” He says before he enters the hut, all alone.

He did not shed a single tear as he cleans your body. But nobody can ever know Tighnari’s cries as he holds his tail close to him, aching for the warmth that you once gave him.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

KAZUHA’s poems always reach you. No matter how much distance he takes away from you, or crosses to go back into your arms, his poems and his flowery hidden confessions of love always reach your ears.

At the right time, he begs to himself, he will finally be able to say them to your face, when he could rid himself of the shackles of his past and live freely with you.

But those same shackles come and haunt him once again. In the form of yours.

“What happened?”

“I’m sorry… but they were attacked by Hilichurls and…”

“No one was there to save them.” Even as he says the words, there was this ache in his chest and prickle on the tips of his fingers, finally reaching out to your cold hand.

Death is a familiar face for Kazuha, but there is something far too different this time.

This time, he thought he had healed. He thought he was stronger. He even went away for it—only to come back with those same wounds and no one there waiting for him.

He places a kiss on your hand once he finds himself leaned over, unable to go without saying his last goodbye.

“In another life… Y/n,” he whispers in the wind, as if he could feel your presence there, and despite finding it difficult to look at your face without seeing your beautiful eyes and smile, he forces himself and says, “In another life… my dove.”

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

GOROU is a good General.

Anyone who was under him can attain to such, and even you. You respected him so much, trusted him so much.

And loved him so much.

“Gorou!”

He was right in front of you, you were right in front of him. The blade pierces through your body, but it feels like it has pierced his heart as well.

“No, no, Y/n—no!”

“Protect the General and Y/n!” The other soldiers went and gathered around both of you, shielding you both from the upcoming arrows and spears your way.

“Y/n… no, don’t-“ he cries, unable to stop the tears that drip down his eyes.

“General, you have to take them out of here.”

Gorou finally finds the courage to carry you and rush his way to the side, out of reach from the battlefield.

“Retreat!”

As the shouts with the same word echoed around him, he could only hear your voice and feel your touch that reached his ears, that despite your weakening strength, you showed him that smile of yours—no matter how forced or painful it must have been.

“Gorou..”

“No, don’t speak, you don’t have to-you’ll be okay-“

“I’m sorry,” you say as he shakes his head, unable to accept the apology, “I’m sorry I had to die like this.”

“No, you won’t die-you can’t die!” He still has something to say—a lot of things to say. You can’t die now! Not when-

“I love you,” you whisper, out of breath, “so much.”

Those were your last words. And no matter how many soldiers had perished under his command, yours held a hole in his heart that he can never fill—a hole that even a good General can never heal.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

Everyone feared CYNO—his voice, his face, his spear, his very name, his wrath.

Oh how wrong they were to assume they had seen his wrath—because only until now had he shown it in an intensity no one could have imagined.

“What did you do?” He sneers, scarlet eyes glaring down, only to grab the clothes of the Mercenary, pulling him up without difficulty, “What did you do?”

The Mercenary chuckles despite the predicament he was in. “What? Failed to profess your love to the feeble thing?”

Everyone knew. Every single person in Sumeru knew that you were one of the people who the Great General Mahamatra cherished—probably much more than the few others. After all, you were the one who always stuck beside him, sometimes hiding behind a rock as he fought, or a bush when he talked to someone.

“Shut up! You don’t deserve to even mention them.” Cyno grits his teeth.

“So, I hit the nail, didn’t I?”

The Mahamatra throws the Mercenary away as he closes his fingers into fists.

He may never be able to bring you back.

But he can bring justice to your death, and nobody can ever escape the grasps of Cyno.

Except for you.

You slipped away before he can even tell you what he wanted to say, and now, there was no turning back.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

AL-HAITHAM never regrets.

Regret is an emotion he had found to be so useless, and with that experimental mind of his, mistakes are merely normal, and if there was no point or way to try again, he can just discard the plan.

But there was no way he could discard you.

“It’s the Scribe!”

Everyone’s murmurs overcome the hall and he frowns even more.

How could he be so… unplanned with this.

“Scribe, we saw their body when-“

He motions for them to go away, and wordlessly, they do, quite remarkable, he thinks. But maybe, it was their pity—was he obvious? Of course, he was. He had tried so hard to amuse you, to make you feel his feelings despite the outer appearance and expression he had always kept. But you were as dense as a rock.

And unfortunately, he was wrong this time around.

“So this… is what regret feels like.” he mutters the words as he spares you his last glance, his last words, and his last time, all before he goes and turns away, an ache in his chest that he knew but can never rid. Not now, at least.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

If ALBEDO was asked what was the meaning of life, he wouldn’t still be able to answer outrightly.

To live? To love? To spend time with others?

There can be a lot of answers—to anyone else, his answer could be very well different.

Well, he thought he did have an answer. But maybe, life was just too cruel to him—him, a homunculus that doesn’t know life and death and only knows how to survive.

But you taught him how to love.

Of course, he does love Klee, but the love you taught him was different, far too warm, too genuine, a romantic kind of love that he had not experienced in his whole life.

“I love you, but you don’t have to love me too. I’ll always be here for you, bedo!” Those were your words, and he clung to these words despite the stirring feelings his mechanical heart was feeling.

So warm. So genuine.

“I apologize,” he breathes out, “But I did love you too, Y/n… I apologize for never voicing it out. I’m sorry…”

And now he stares at the gravestone in front of him, written was your name that he used to always call out, used to always associate with the bright sun or the moon or the stars—anything that was too beautiful for this world—you were too precious for this world, and maybe that’s why life itself had to meddle and steal you away from those who loved you—from him.

If Albedo is asked what was the meaning of life, he’d probably tell of the love you gave, and the love he failed to give—to never do anything that makes you regret, or you’ll end up just like him.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!!

(taglist either on reblogs or comments)

[bruhnze]

After the game baby - part 2

Part 1 - Part 3

Summary: Lucy Bronze and Ona batlle are in love. They are having a great time but then Lucy doesnt think Ona is competetive enough and thinks of a way to fix that.

Here is Part 2, i think it will be 4 Parts.. sorry (like lucy would say: #sorrynotsorry)

After the game baby - Part 2 (18+)

They walked up to the appartement. Lucy had gotten both of their bags from the backseat, refusing to let Ona carry anything, as usual. "Im really strong bub, you like that, don't you, let me use my strenght" Ona rolled her eyes, typical Lucy, all these jokes with double meaning.

In the beginning of their relationship Ona had thought it was just the newness of it all, or even that she was just looking behind everything to much (because she wanted it to have double meaning). But no, it was Lucy Bronze. This was second nature too the woman, for the most part Ona liked it, the only thing about it was that Lucy did this with everyone. Always joking, maybe more with Ona, but Lucy was always dancing or laughing with the other girls from the team too. It had lead to a few arguments in their early stages but now Ona was very secure with Lucy, trusting her completely and seeing it was just a big kid honestly.

After a short walk with the pups Lucy put some music on and asked Ona "shall we cook together?" Ona smiled "we just have plain pasta tonight cariño" Lucy rolled her eyes "geez, romantico mucho?" "I know, now, do you want to sit on the counter while i put pasta in the pan"

Now Ona laughed "romántico mucho, it is" she said "and yes, i'll sit on the counter".

Lucy grabbed the pan and put water in it, when it boiled, she put in a pinch of salt and the pasta and set the timer on the induction stove.

In the meanwhile Ona had hopped on the counter and was looking at Lucy, they caught eyes. Lucy got in between Ona's knees that were hanging off the counter and pulled Ona a bit towards her.

Ona loved this, Lucys hands now on her knees, although Ona wouldve rather theyd be somewhere else already. Ona put her hand behind Lucy's neck and pulled Lucy in.

They loved this, sure they had their quick kisses during the day, but behind the door and walls of their home they could kiss eachother like no one was watching, cause their wasn- woof woof

Lucy pulled away but softly grasped Ona's bottomlip between her teeth while doing so.

They both looked down. They had forgotten to feed Narla and Coco, they always give food straight after the walk. Ona stated "im surprised we only hear from then now".

Lucy was already in action though she wanted to get back to kissing Ona.

When the dogs where attacking their bowls of food a loud song came on, while putting the volume a little bit down, Lucy went back to what she was doing. Kissing Ona's neck she pulled at the shirt that was tucked into Ona's pants.

Ona crossed her legs behind Lucys hips, pulling her in a bit closer and scooching a bit more to the edge of the counter herself. Ona could feel herself get riled up, wanting Lucys hips closer to her own.

Lucy kissed Ona again first slowly, then when her hand travelled further up under Onas shirt, onas breath became more heavy and Lucy passed her tongue trough onas parted lips and their kiss became more heated.

When Lucys hand was at the bottom of the sportsbra, going under it, they where both startled by the sound of the stove.

Beep, beep, beep-

Ona groaned and reached out to still the timer. She turned back to Lucy, wanting to continue but Lucy was already trying to come out of between her crossed leggs. She helt them tight "Luce-" she asked.

Lucy laughed, "what, i thought we where professionally preparing for the game tomorrow, i heard somebody was up for some plain pasta!" She kissed Onas nose and grabbed onas ankles and freed herself

"But you were kissing me so good Luce" , "dona'm més petons a més llocs" (give me more kisses on more places)

Lucy gulped, she didn't know a lot of Catalan but over time Ona had learned her some phrases, and the ones especially on this topic, she remembered really well. But she remaind cool and went back in for one more kiss.

Ona smiled thinking it had worked but when she tried to deepen the kiss Lucy pulled away.

Lucy drained the water from the pan, plated the pasta and put some butter and pepper on it. She walked to the other side of the kitchen, where there was a basil plant in the window. She plucked 4 leaves and garnished the food with it.

Ona watch i awe, still sitting on the counter. She wonderd if Lucy was serious about not having sex tonight, cause she wanted it really bad.

Lucy cleaned up the kitchen a bit and washed the pan, Ona coulnt help looking at her forearms..

"Catching flies?" Lucy said, when she was done putting the plates on the table.

Ona closed her mouth, and hopped of the counter, taking a seat opposite of Lucys.

They ate and chatted. Ona cleared their plates from the table as Lucy walked to the tv to put on her game console.

"Huh" said Ona "what are you doing?"

Lucy turned and looked confused "want to game for a bit, why?"

This woman, ona thought, we were just making out, ate dinner and now shes thinking about gaming.

"Thought we could continue our kiss? There is no beeper to go off now and the dogs are sleeping"

"Sure you can have a kiss" Lucy walked over and kissed Ona, "but what has that to do with me gaming"

"Lucia, want me to spell it out then? I want to have sex"

Lucy laughed, she knew from the moment Ona was breathing like that on the counter that she had turned her on, but yesterday when she had gone on the walk with the dogs and she came back to a sleeping Ona. When Ona'd said she'd wait for Lucy to come back so they could cuddle , eventhough it was partly her fault yesterday because she ended up walking for longer than intended, she had been riled up ever since.

This morning in training, she was in a group with all the defenders, doing a specific exercise and couldnt keep her eyes of Ona, when they had to shower after the gym , before the lunch, she walked in and Ona was already under with a few others, Lucy had to put in all effort not to look at her girl the whole time.

"Why are you laughing" ona pushed lucys chest.

Lucy demonstratively looked at her watch, "oh Ona look, its 9pm already, time for bed, just like Jonatan said" and she put her gameconsole away.

When walking to the bedroom Ona said "but we have had sex before games multiple times" she was making a frantic gesture with her hands "and tomorrow isnt even that important of a game, we already know we will win".

Lucy looked at Ona, "wow, thats not the mindset, were is your competitiveness gone?" "See thats why were doing this, i was thinking after the game, baby, but now im starting to think we need a bigger goal, cant have us slacking like this, can we now"

Ona looked confused, "what are you on about"

"I just listened this podcast about competitiveness" lucy grinned "it talked about restraining from things you love to do to get a tougher mindset"

"What are you saying?, that we have no sex until we have reached a certain goal" ona looked fierce out of her eyes "i think i'll become to agressive if i live like a nun"

Lucy laughed , people had an image about her, having a high libido, but Ona was somthing else, she could handle it easily but she never had to nudge, in former relationships she had had unmet needs , but with Ona that had never happend. In the beginning she had thought that by time it would become less, but no, it seemed that Ona held back in te first few weeks and than completely went for it. Some days, most days, they'd do it 2 or 3 times.

This last week there actually hadnt been that much action and it hadnt been as rough as usual. Lucy had blamed it on being the end of the season, the both were very tired.

"Oh yeah, agressive huh?" Lucy callenged Ona, poking her side " maybe i want that, maybe the goal is a goal?"

"What?" , "i have to marcar un gol and than tornaràs a tenir sexe amb mi? Ona signed with her hands, "that could take multiple matches to happen".

Lucy grabbed Onas hands "thats where your mindsets has to come in, you say the match is not important, okay, lets see how important it is for you to get fucked again then"

Ona whimpered, damn she liked Lucy like this. Her competitiveness was really hot. But this deal she was not certain about, what if it would take 3 weeks, that was the max cause they only had 3 games left, Oh no, what if she didnt make it in these 3, would she have to wait all-

Lucy cleared her throat "hello, earth to Ona" "You dont have to think about if your accepting, the deal is already sealed"

Lucy cupped Ona chin and they kissed. "I hope you score" Lucy wispered "because i really want to fuck you too"

[goatlottin]

my winner

in which you surprise your winner after his match. in turn, he surprises you.

genre: fluff

a/n: this is actually so short i really thought i wrote sm more but!! i miss writing so hopefully this brings me back x enjoy!

inspired by rwmsdale

You texted Kylian around 7 to let him know you would probably come by. You unfortunately had piles of work to complete, and couldn't attend his home match today and instead chose to just wait for him until he got home.

You two didn't live together. Yet. Kylian died to have you be here all the time. He always felt happiest with you, and he believes he's the most entitled to absolutely all your spare time you have.

On the other hand, you sometimes enjoyed the quiet space of your home. And still wanted time to thing about it.

As you waited up for him, you had tried to fight the tiredness, but it got difficult and you ended up passing out on the couch. At least you could say you tried!

As predicted, Kylian ended up getting home just after 10.

His smile from ear to ear, his PSG tracksuit and small bag in hand. It was a sight to see. After the win, he thought he would come home to you, celebrate for a bit, then head to bed. To his dismay, you had done that last part without him.

He noticed the disorganized array of books and notebooks lying on the small lamp-side table. Likely your last minute studying you cramped in.

His smile faded as he opened the door to a fast asleep girlfriend that he assumed had been here waiting for him. As he shut the door behind him, you startled awake.

He couldn't pretend he wasn't just the tiniest bit happy about it. He knew he would now have that long awaited bit of time with you.

As you began to sit up, he quickly ushered towards you.

"It's okay baby, stay there." He kicked off his shoes as he placed his belongings on the couch adjacent to the one you resided on, opting for cleaning it tomorrow morning.

He found a position that was comfortable beside you while he placed an arm under your head, urging your head to tilt upwards to him. You both looked into each other's eyes. Him, into your sleep ones, you, to his glassy, brown ones.

You brought your hand up to touch his face. He leaned into your touch, and turned to kiss the inside of your palm. "What a lovely surprise to have the most beautiful girl cuddled up with me right now."

You blushed a rosy tone. You found you always had this rosy blush to you anyways. Given your boyfriend had a way with words that always seemed to turn you into mush.

"Had to be there for my winner." You replied, rubbing your right hand up and down his chest affectionately.

You moved your movements to his face, that was begging to be shaved. His face filled with small stubble.

"Did you enjoy the match?"

"I enjoyed your goal, of course. Fell asleep right after."

He threw his head bad lightly in a fit of laughter, grazing your cheek with the thumb of the hand that still had a grip on your face. "Nice goal though, hmm?"

"I mean, I guess so." You teased

He rolled his eyes, immediately understanding you were playing around "You guess'? What can I do better, coach?" Kylian's nose found his way to your neck, where he left small kisses.

"Well, I think you can try practicing more fre-" you were interrupted by a small love bites just right to your collarbone. "Stop! I can-" he continued his assault of kisses while you giggled.

You wrapped your hands around his neck while he lifted his head to reach your gaze once more.

"Should we order in? You must be hungry." you questioned. "Or shall I cook?" deep down, the two of you knew you were an awful chef. Not only were you terrible, but the food was actually sometimes inedible.

However, sometimes you loved being oblivious. Still offering the service to Kylian.

"Let's not waste ingredients, chérie. I'll grab my phone." Leaving one last kiss on your cheek, he jumped off the couch to locate his phone.

-

After you guys had finished eating, you sat beside each other at the coffee table. It was quiet, but you both sat there enjoying each other’s company, no words needing to be said.

Kylian sat his fork on the plate before stacking both his and yours. “Can I ask you something?” He suddenly turned to you.

“Anything.” Fixing your posture, you turned to face him.

“Why don’t you move in here?”

The question threw you off guard. You guys did talk about this before. But briefly. Ending on a “maybe when things are more serious” note. But that was almost a year ago. Needless to say, things were definitely more serious.

“I love having you here. You just being here after my match, to greet me, even though you were asleep! It felt so… natural. I want it like that everyday. I’m so in love with you, and I can’t help but feel I need to be with you all the time.

“Your books sprawled out like that? I want that for us. I want this to be a place you call home as well.”

You were in awe at his words. Knowing how passionate he was not just about you moving in but the overall relationship.

You were so, so incredibly lucky to have him.

He took ahold of both your hands once he saw your hesitance. Looking into your eyes with such pleading but proud eyes.

“I don’t know Ky. It’s a big step. Are you sure you always want me around?” You tried to make light of the serious situation by throwing in a joke. You were actually terrified for this step.

“I genuinely do not think that’s possible, hon. Like, at all, ever possible.”

“Okay, but what if you realize I’m too messy? Or what if family are over and I’m being overbearing? And some of the colours in this house are really..”

“Baby,” he interrupted with a breathy laugh. “I would love to have that mess here everyday. You’re part of my family, and you have my utmost permission to change whatever you would like in this house.” He brought one of your knuckles forward to leave it a kiss. “Please,”

You decided that these were just one of those things you knew in your chest. You trusted Kylian with everything in you. And wanted this change, you realized.

You nodded before he fell on top of you into a hug.

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

04 new dawn. where you learn something surprising about ushijima

<< 03 shining light. | >> 05 saturn i.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: i want ushijima to give me his jacket too, CRYING,,, side note i’m going be to busy in feb so updates will be posted every 2 weeks. thanks for reading! - ave word count: 1.3k warnings: mentions of past trauma terms: gap moe -- when someone has a hidden side that contradicts their usual personality/behavior

march, first year

ever since ushijima and tendo joined you and semi at your home back during the first semester, they have remained a constant presence at your study sessions. the four of you have become an inseparable group of friends, even though you stick out like a sore thumb between the tall volleyball players. you were considered tall among your female classmates, but next to the three of them? just a midget.

“i’m an adopted introvert,” you would explain when classmates ask you about how you became close friends with the ushijima wakatoshi and the oddball tendo satori and the pretty setter semi eita. 

the only complaint you have are the sidetracks from the actual point of said sessions, studying. with tendo and semi arguing over literally everything, it is difficult to stay on track. even ushijima adds in a quip to the banters every now and then, his straight-faced delivery of the infrequent lines making them even funnier. 

that is not to say you did not enjoy the privilege of learning about the different sides of the boys compared to how they were on court. no, you fully delighted in finding out random facts about the intimidating players that other people are not privy to. like how they had gotten you a plushie for your birthday, but it seems like they were more attached to it than you, by the way they greet the plushie whenever they are over at your house. 

today, with your parents being home, you all ended up studying in ushijima and tendo’s shared dorm room, all sprawled out in various states around the coffee table that sits in the middle of the simple room. 

“that’s it,” you announce, notebook flopping down on your face as you laid on the floor. “the words are no longer registering in my brain.”

“maybe if you sleep with the book under your pillow tonight, the knowledge will diffuse into your brain by tomorrow for the exam.” semi jokes from across the room in a similar state of dishevel as the four of you try your best to study for the last exam week of the school year on a sunday afternoon turned into night. 

“would that actually work?” 

“what do you think?” 

“maybe if i take a quick nap, then continue studying” you mumble more to yourself as you turn on your stomach, dropping your face on the floor unceremoniously.

“miyamura-san, it’s almost time for curfew, if you don’t go home soon, you will have to spend the night in the dorms.” ushijima kneels before you, picking up the book that you were covering your head with. 

you pick your head up to look at the boy solemnly, lips set in a pout. “so what? i am so fucked for the exam tomorrow, ushijima” you wonder how studying was going for him.

“you will be fine.” he puts a hand on your head in a gesture to comfort you. 

“you don’t know that!”

“in any case, having a good night’s rest is more important than any studying now.”

“you know, he’s technically right, school is just like volleyball, and ushijima-san is an expert at that.” tendo agrees with ushijima.

you sigh. “help me up then,” fingers wiggling in the air as you wait for ushijima to pull you upright.

if you were not in autopilot mode as you picked your things up and stuffed them in your backpack, you would have heard tendo’s teasing “semi, help me up” pointed at ushijima, followed by an instant flat “no” from your best friend. but your brain was turned off for the night as you pull your shoes on to go home.

“see you later,” ushijima throws to the two boys before he clicks the door shut behind him, gesturing to you. “shall we?”

for the most part, you two walk in comfortable silence under the summer moon. that is, until the neighborhood’s stray cat decides to jump out in front of you out of nowhere. you yelp and grab onto ushijima’s sleeve, startled by the sudden movement. 

he chuckles and much to your dismay (and shock), squats down and starts psps-ing at the orange cat. you are not sure how much gap moe he could be than this image in front of you right now. for starters, you are not sure if you are hallucinating from how tired you are, and secondly, if this is real, you need proof that this ever happened. so you sneakily take your phone out before calling his name innocently and snap a photo of him and the cat before he can react. 

“i’m gonna let that slide.” he puts his hand out in front of him in what looked like an attempt to pet the cat. you aren’t faking the shock on your face as the cat sniffs at his fingers before brushing up against his hand, as if saying pet me.

your jaw drops from the sight, “oh yeah? you don’t seem like the type.” you wanted to pet the cat, but this cat has only ever hissed at you in passing, so you are completely in awe and jealous of ushijima at this moment.

“only for you,” he turns to really look at you, a small smile playing on his lips. and then, as if he sensed the yearning in you, he tugs on your wrist lightly. “here, hold your hand out for the cat to sniff you.”

you listen to him warily, slowly inching towards the cat in case it tries to attack you, “like this?”

he hums in agreement, “and then, you wait for him to decide if you can pet him.” 

surely enough, the cat starts sniffing you, tail brushing against ushijima’s knees. you carefully smooth the fur between his ears, feeling awed for the acceptance. though shortly after, he returns to the boy next to you, rubbing its head against his hand. “he likes you more than me”

“i am a cat whisperer,” he nods. 

you laugh at his words. before you realize it, the words start falling from your lips. “my little sister was a cat whisperer too” 

and as if being doused with a bucket of ice water, you snap back into reality, painfully aware of your admission. your heart thunders as memories threaten to overwhelm you. stop. turn. lock. you picture shoving them into a bottomless box, locking it and throwing the key away until the next time they break free. just as you have practiced for the last 8 years. 

“miyamura?” ushijima looks at you expectantly as you snap back into the present. 

“yeah? i am feeling a little tired. let’s go.” you stand up abruptly, hoping that he won’t ask you about what you just said. that you mentioned having a sister to this boy you just became friends with a few months ago. you haven’t said those words out loud in a long time. you don’t even remember when the last time was.

to his credit, he does not ask any prying questions about the sister he has never heard of. the sister he has never seen. 

you don’t even realize that you were shaking, mostly from reliving your memories, but also shivering from the chilly night breeze until he drapes a jacket over your shoulders. 

“let’s get you home” he states, hands shoved into his pant pockets as he strolls ahead. 

leaving you staring at his retreating figure, brain muddled and heart jumbled. you vaguely remember him grabbing his track jacket and carrying it instead of putting it on before you left shiratorizawa. 

“are you coming?” he turns around to look at you. you hurry towards his familiar aura that encompasses your roughness, as he strikes up another conversation about something random. that night you lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling with paint scars from when it used to have glow-in-the-dark stars and planets taped to it; one question keeping you awake despite your exhaustion – what is it about this boy that makes you feel so safe?

reblogs and comments are appreciated!

looking for more? browse the collection

[ltwilliammowett]

Ekke Nekkepenn - the merman

In short, Ekke Nekkepenn is a merman who lives with his wife Rahn at the bottom of the North Sea and plays pranks on sailors and inhabitants of the North Frisian islands.

The best-known realisation of the Ekke-Nekkepenn myth today can be traced back to Christian Peter Hansen, who condensed and reshaped various sagas from the North Frisian region into his own continuous narrative in his Sagen und Erzählungen der Haidebewohner auf Sylt (Sagas and Tales of the Haide Inhabitants on Sylt), published in 1858. The first section of this tale is entitled ‘Der Meermann Ekke Nekkepenn’.

The story begins with Ekke Nekkepenn asking the wife of the captain of a Sylt ship sailing to England in a storm for help with the birth of her child. The beautiful and helpful captain's wife is led by the mariner to his wife Rahn, who lives at the bottom of the North Sea, and returns to the surface after a successful birth, richly endowed with gold and silver. The skipper and his wife are able to continue their journey in fine weather and later return safely and soundly to their home in Rantum on Sylt.

Many years later, Ekke Nekkepenn remembers this incident and decides - in view of the fact that Rahn has become ‘old and wrinkled’ in the meantime - to take the captain's wife as his wife instead. One day, when he spots the Rantum captain's ship, he persuades Rahn, who is sitting on the bottom of the sea, to grind salt, and the Sylt skipper and his crew perish in the resulting strong whirlpool.

On his way to the captain's wife, Ekke Nekkepenn, who has transformed himself into a handsome sailor, meets her virgin daughter Inge on the beach near Rantum. Against her will, he puts a golden ring on each of her fingers, hangs a golden chain around her neck and declares her his bride. When the girl tearfully begs him to release her, he replies that he can only do so if she can tell him her name the next evening. But nobody on the island knows the unknown stranger. As Inge walks along the beach again in despair the next evening, she hears a voice singing from the mountain at the southern tip of the island near Hörnum:

Today I shall brew; Tomorrow I shall bake; The day after tomorrow I want to get married. My name is Ekke Nekkepenn, My bride is Inge von Rantum, And nobody knows that but me alone.

She then runs to the agreed meeting place and calls out to the stranger arriving there: ‘Your name is Ekke Nekkepenn and I'll stay Inge von Rantum.’ Ever since that time, the man of the sea, who has been coerced in this way, has harboured a great rage against the islanders of Sylt and is always up to mischief when he feels like it. He destroys their ships in storms, causes them to sink in Rahn's maelstrom and damages the Sylt coastline with the tides he unleashes.

This myth is particularly prevalent on Sylt itself, because as soon as it storms, Ekke is said to be angry and he is once again angry with everyone.

It is not entirely clear what the myth itself is based on, but it is clear that Hansen has worked with two things: Nordic mythology and its sea god Ögis or Ekke as he is called in Frisian. In his ‘Materials for a Frisian Mythology’, published in 1850, Hansen writes: ‘The god of the sea was called Ögis by the Germans, Eiger by the Danes, Eie or Eia by the Frisians, also Ekke or Nekke. […] His wife was the goddess Ran, who blessed the beach, pulled the shipwrecked into her nets and after whom the old beach and dune village of Rantum was perhaps named. Incidentally, in Norse, Rane means to rob. According to a Frisian legend, Ekke once went to a woman from Rantum named Inge, but was given a basket.’ The problem here is that it is a pure invention by Hansen himself, this kind of Nordic mythology does not exist.

The second is Rumpelstiltskin. The Rumpelstiltskin variant used by Hansen belongs to a widespread complex of fairy tales and legends. In most of these tales, a dwarf or other creature helps a girl spin a certain amount of flax. The original North Frisian form of the story - which Hansen follows in his composition - does not contain precisely this element. This means that it belongs to a relatively small group of forms, which includes sagas from Pomerania, Lower Saxony, Tyrol, Lower Austria and Schleswig-Holstein. However, here he uses the verse often found in Rumpelstiltskin, except what is a merman doing on a mountain?

Apart from what Hansen has probably used here to give Ekke a story, it is more likely that this myth has been around on the islands for a long time and only in different versions and without a real name. It can therefore be assumed that Hansen was just trying to give it a unified story and a name.

[yanderecrazysie]

yandere bakugo! purge au? it’s time for the purge and its the perfect time to get his darling

I’ve been watching the Purge show with my little sister and we occasionally just text each other “The Giving is near, the Invisible awaits”. I love the purge movies so much, except the Forever Purge, I just didn’t like that one.

Title: 12 Hours

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, Bakugou’s scary lol

Summary: 12 hours when every crime is legal but with a twist- if you kidnap someone, they’re yours forever.

“You’re sure everything is locked down?” You asked, biting your lip nervously.

Your boyfriend smiled at you, “State of the art system. There’s nothing to worry about.”

You gave him a smile, but you followed it up with a sigh. You had a lot to worry about. You had gotten a note in the mail, two days before the purge, that read:

Dear (Y/n),

This is a notice that a Level 5 person(s) has been given permission to hold you indefinitely if you are captured during purge hours. We recommend staying inside and taking precautions to protect yourself.

Blessed be our New Founding Fathers,

NFFA Personnel.

Someone had requested permission to kidnap you forever, as long as they captured you on purge night. Who it was, you couldn’t even imagine.

Your house’s defense system was practically a joke. You didn’t have the money to get fancy equipment like everyone else had. That’s why your boyfriend, John, had offered to let you stay with him during purge night.

The thought had crossed your mind that John could be the crazy kidnapper, but you knew that he could have you any time he wanted to, so there wasn’t any point in kidnapping you.

John had an amazing security system. Not as good as, say, the NFFA members had, but still very good. You felt mostly safe to stay with him, but there was still an ounce of fear that wouldn’t go away.

You had looked up what “Level 5” meant and had discovered there were five levels of dangerous people classified for the purge. Level 1 was the lowest and, well, Level 5 was the most dangerous.

You had an extremely dangerous person after you. Who knew what they would do to you after kidnapping you? Maybe they would torture you all year long.

Your boyfriend turned on the TV and, a few moments later, the announcement played.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class four and lower have been authorized for use during the purge. All other weapons are restricted. 

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. when the purge concludes. 

“Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

Even through the metal shutters, you could hear the sirens start. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“We’re in for a quiet evening, don’t worry,” John said, putting a comforting arm around your shoulder, “Should we get the wine out?”

“Yes, please,” you said shakily.

Your boyfriend walked over to the cabinets and pulled out a bottle of wine and a couple cups. He poured a generous amount of liquid into both cups and handed you one. You drank all of it in one go.

John laughed and refilled your cup, “It’s only 12 hours. That’s it.”

“12 hours is a long time,” you muttered, “A lot can happen in half a day.”

Ten hours passed uneventfully, the two of you watching the only channel that wasn’t showing highlights of the purge from cameras set up around the country or talking about the history of purging.

On the eleventh hour, someone knocked on the door. You froze in your seat, breath hitching in your throat from horror. Your boyfriend stood up, “It’s okay, no one can get in. I’ll check the front door camera.”

He checked the camera and smiled, “See, they moved o-”

The power went out. 

A beeping sound filled the house and then the scraping of metal as the shutters began to rise. The security system had been disabled and was reversing itself.

Even in the dim light, you could see that your boyfriend had gone pale, messing with the system frantically to try to reset it. 

Finally, he turned to you and said, “Get in the closet. I’ve got a gun and I’ll deal with anyone that comes inside.”

You were crying at that point, but you managed to nod. You ran to the closet and hurriedly closed it behind you. You pulled some clothes down from the rack and tried to use them to cover yourself. There was no lock, so you were absolutely toast if anyone looked inside.

You could hear the door open loudly, as though someone had kicked it open. Your ears strained, listening for any hint that your boyfriend would be okay.

A gunshot rang through the house and you hoped it was from your boyfriend’s gun and not the intruder’s. A loud, husky laugh followed the sound, “Nice try, extra.”

You covered your mouth as the sound of an automatic gun’s famous ratatata followed. You knew John only had a pistol. No doubt your boyfriend had just died. 

“Y/n”, I know you’re in here,” the voice said loudly, almost playfully, “Might as well come out now, so I don’t waste time trying to find you.”

You had less than an hour left. If you could just stall him until the 12 hours were up, maybe you’d make it out alive. 

Your breath hitched again as he came into the bedroom and you closed your eyes.

“Not under the bed. What about the closet?” You could hear the smirk in the intruder’s voice.

The closet door flew open and the clothes were pulled off of you. You looked up helplessly at the wild-haired blonde with blood red eyes as he crouched in front of you. He took your wrist in a crushing grip, grinning at you with victory, and hauled you up off the floor.

“C’mon, we only have one hour to get you home. Had to deal with a lot of shit tonight. But I’m sure your boy toy’s car will help us out, won’t it, baby?” 

You hadn’t made it the whole 12 hours. 

Your life was in his hands.

[gaysindistress]

Requests? Honestly, anything that sees that beautiful old Hellrider happy and no longer pent up.

Pent up you say? *cue evil laughter* pent up Zevlor you shall receive.

pairings: Zevlor x f!reader

Warnings: suggestive nsfw

Bg3 masterlist

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

Paladins are holy warriors, soldiers trained to fight for a divine cause and never hold anything about it. Marriage is difficult to uphold when your spouse is programmed to think about a god’s well being above yours. Sex is not exactly a great time when your partner is consumed by thoughts of their god rather than indulging in the one before them. Conversations are no easy feat if you do not share the same faith and you’d be hard pressed to find a paladin who would even give you the time of day in that case.

But an oath breaker?

They are godless.

They are devoted fighters with no faith to draw strength from.

They are searching for something, or rather someone, to place their faith in again.

Before the events of Moonrise, Zevlor would’ve felt guilty for the thoughts he has about you. Before he would’ve been disgusted by the way he envisioned what your body would feel like against his. He would’ve hated himself for imagining the arch of your back as you bent over his desk. He would’ve detested the way his body betrays his self control and grows rigid at the sound of his name falling from your lips.

But what I think he would hate the most is how he was deprived of you for so long, especially when you’re mewing out for him in his bed.

It takes every ounce of strength and thread of self control that he has to not

“Where are you going?”

I hear a voice call from behind me and I briefly glance over my shoulder at Aradin. He’s basking in whatever shitty afterglow he finds himself enjoying and lazily trailing his eyes up my naked form.

“Where does it look like I’m going?” I respond in a clipped tone while I search for my clothes.

“No you’re not. Come here,” he says in that awful wannabe seductive tone and tries to grab at my arm.

My reaction is almost too violent and by me ripping my arm away, I almost hit it against the headboard. He makes some comment under his breath about how ridiculous I am and if I really hated him that much then why do I even come here. It takes everything in me to not shout at him that I would rather let Astarion use me as his personal blood bank than continue to sleep with his pompous ass but a girl’s got needs.

I finish getting dressed and leave the suffocating room without a second look at Aradin. The full body shutter washes over me the moment the door closes behind me. My stomach feels empty yet sick from the lack of food and self disgust that I’m feeling. As if on auto pilot, I find my way out of the Elfsong and to the street where a young girl is selling fresh baked goods. I hand her a few gold coins for an orange roll that I mindlessly tear pieces off of as I stroll through the city. The morning is still new; the air is moist and smells of salt while the sun quickly rises in the sky and begins to warm the day. I pause in front of the docks and close my eyes as I take a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the sea.

“Excuse me! Y/N!”

The sound of my name being loudly yelled forces me to open my eyes and turn towards my right. Alfira is wildly waving at me while racing down the street to catch up to me.

“Y/N! I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks now but you’re surprisingly hard to find.” She says, albeit out of breath and with a wide smile on her face. “You should come over so we can talk.”

The traces of Aradin still cling to me and I grimace at her statement before I can stop it. Her brows knit together in confusion and subtle offense.

Fuck.

“I would love to Alfira but right now is not a great time. How about I come by tomorrow night?”

She narrows her eyes at me as they survey me. I shuffle under her sharp gaze and freeze when she stares at my neck. Her eyes grow wild as she makes eye contact with me.

“Oh gods please tell me Zevlor didn’t do that. I don’t think I could handle hearing about your escapades,” she giggles and feigns playful disgust. Her giggles fall short when I don’t share them. My grimace grows while her eyes grow even wider and she lets out the loudest gasp imaginable. I grab her by the arm and pull her towards a less busy area when people start to look. I hiss her name at her to get her to quiet down.

“Who did that to you? Does he know? Oh gods he’s so hopelessly in love with you, y/n! What are you going to do? Are you going to tell him? Please tell me you’re not going to see who ever tried to eat your neck last night!” She all but shrieks in rapid succession.

I hiss her name again, “Alfira! You need to quiet down before the whole city knows my business.”

“Well?”

I let out a groan of frustration and rub my hand down my face before I answer. “No i didn’t spend the night with him. I spent it with….someone else.”

“Who?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“It was Aradin wasn’t it?”

We share a look of mutual concern for my sanity after I slowly nod. She lets out a scoff and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Him? Of everyone in Baldurs Gate, why him?”

I shrug while shoving the rest of my roll into my mouth so I don’t have to answer her.

“I can smell him in you, you know that?”

Double fuck.

My chewing freezes. I shake my head.

“And that means if I can, then Zevlor will be able to as well so you’re going to come over, scrub your skin until it’s raw, and pray that I have enough candles to cover it all up.” Her tone is final and leaves no room for me to argue with her so I don’t. I let her boss me around and we fall into idle conversation as we walk to her apartment.

Tea has been brewed, candles lit, food made, and my body thoroughly cleansed. I can hardly move without being hit with a wave of orange blossom thanks to the hair oils and lotions Alfira let me borrow. Even my clothes were taken to be washed so i had to borrow clothes from her as well but with how large they are, I know they can’t be hers or Larkissa’s. The billowy white shirt smells faintly of metal, the forest, and something else I can’t put my finger on.

The two tieflings are being grossly cute together stealing love sick looks at each other as Alfira and I talk. At one point I mock throwing up at one particularly adorable look and earn myself a playful shove from the bard. We descend into a fit of giggles so hard that I have trouble catching my breath. Alfira sniffles from the tears that have sprung from her eyes and wipes away at them.

When I do catch my breath, I take a deep breath and wind my hair into a loose knot so it’s off my neck. I’m in the middle of thanking Alfira for bringing me over and forcing me to stay when the front door opens. Lakrissa greets whoever it is and I assume it’s one of their friends so I tip my head back to say hello too. My voice stalls about half way through the word when I make eye contact with the Hellrider Commander.

Alfira lets out a squeak and glances quickly at my neck, causing Lakrissa to do the same. The tiefling wives share a look of understanding as Lakrissa steps between us and Zevlor while Alfira practically yanks my hair down. Everything happens so quickly that all I can manage to do is let out a small yelp of pain and glare at her.

Zevlor sits down next to me, scanning both Alfira and myself with a sharp eye. His entire body tenses when he gets to my neck. I quickly look at Alfira who’s gone pale if that’s even possible and has her lip trapped between her teeth.

“Anyone hungry?” Lakrissa loudly announces and partially saves us from the suffocating tension that is filling the room.

I wait about 15 minutes before quietly excusing myself from the table and disappearing up to the roof. Before I leave the room, I glance back to find that Zevlor is already watching me. the eye contact we make is fleeting but there’s no mistaking the longing and heartbreak that’s pooling in his eyes.

I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been out on the roof but it’s grown dark by the time I hear the hatch open. The wind blows a gust of a familiar scent towards me; the same as the shirt I’m wearing and one I dreamt of for months now.

“Join me?”

There’s nothing for a moment and I fear that he would pretend to not hear me and walk away. That fear is nullified when he does join me and sits beside me on the blanket that’s been left up here. There are only a few inches between us but our shoulders are close enough that I can feel his natural warmth. Like a moth to a flame, I want to lean into him and enjoy the heat that lives within him.

“How did you know where to find me?” I choose to ask so I don’t lay my head on his shoulder.

“She’s worried about you,” he responds while staring up at the night sky, “she asked me to come check on you.”

Sighing, I drop my gaze to my hands that are draped over my knees. My fingers dance with each other in the pale moonlight, twirling and rolling over one another.

“Do you wish to be alone?” He asks in a quieter voice. I can’t bring myself to look at him just yet nor do I trust my voice so I simply shake my head.

We sit in silence for some time, watching the stars enjoy their nightly party and dance together in harmony. The longer we stay like this, the closer I feel we become. By the time he finds his voice again to say my name, my shoulder bumps into his and he pulls away slightly to my dismay.

“What’s that look for?” he asks when I look between him and my shoulder.

“You didn’t have to move away. I don’t mind that you’re….that we were….it was okay.”

He stares down at me with an unreadable expression before shaking his head and turning back to the sky.

“You are with someone. It would be inappropriate for me to… to touch you.” His tone is clipped as he grits out the words. I don’t miss the way his jaw flexes or how his hands curl into small fists before slowly unfurling.

“I am not,” jumps out with my breathy voice and he blinks at me with an arched brow. “I’m not with anyone.”

“His scent lingers on you still,” he nearly snarls between clenched teeth. His infernal eyes are squeezed shut and his nose is flared with his breath coming in short, swallow breathes.

I take a calculated risk and grab him by his chin, forcing him to look at me, “I’m not with him, Zevlor.”

“You reek of him, Y/N. You must think me a fool if you think that I’d believe you’re not with him.” He grips my wrist and tries to pull it away but I can’t let him. I can’t let him slip away again, not when I have him so close.

“I've been trying to forget you.” I whisper and let my gaze fall to his lips. His hand flexes on my wrist, tightening around it as he searches my face for a hint of dishonesty. Maybe I’m stupid or maybe I’m bold but either way I lean towards him as I tell him that Aradin has been a failing attempt to forget him.

“That’s a lie,” he chokes out with eyes squeezed shut. His features are pulled taunt from his internal struggle of whether or not to push me away or to believe me.

Pressing a light kiss to the corner of his mouth, I whisper to him that it’s not.

“Prove it.”

We meet in a desperate yet slow kiss as we try to commit this moment to memory. My hands slid from his chin to his jaw, cupping it as I begin to lose myself in the feeling of him. I feel his cradle my neck but it’s not enough. I need him to touch me. I need to feel him gripping at my body in the way I know he wants to.

I find myself moving closer to him until one of his hands falls to my waist and his claws dig into my hip. I take the opportunity to climb onto his lap and let my fingers grip the hair at the base of his neck. Zevlor lets out a deep guttural breath when I sit down and pull at his ponytail. My own embarrassing moan slips out when I feel him press it against my core. He pulls away from me causing me to chase after his lips but his raspy voice stops me.

“Y/N,” he whispers, “I will either have you to myself or not at all.”

Before he can say anything more, I hurriedly whisper back, “you’re the only one I want.”

He dips his head to plant wet kisses down my jaw and whispers against the skin of my neck, “tell me that you’re mine.”

I quietly mumble something incoherent and let out a high pitched whine when he sucks a bruise at the edge of my jaw. He urges me to say it.

“I’m yours, Zevlor. Only yours.”

[slut4thebroken]

Exposure Therapy pt. 6

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane × reader

Summary | Dr. Crane wants to make some changes to your previous arrangement.

Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding, kissing, hickeys, grinding, riding, praise, degradation, crying (but in a hot way), consensual sex, cockwarming?, he’s a simp lowkey, but he’s doing his best to hide it.

Words | 3k

Notes | I hope y’all enjoy! I’m doing my best to keep it consistent with how his character would act but it’s definitely a challenge lol

Ao3 link | <3

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Part 5

True to his word, he did return the next day with a few things. He stopped by your cell, rather than having someone bring you to him. When he handed you the bag, you eagerly took it and sat down on your bed to look through it. A sketch pad, multiple pencils- some colored- and two books that you haven’t heard of. 

“I hope it is satisfactory.” He said, emotionless as ever. 

“It’s perfect, thank you.” You beamed at him and he gave you a stiff nod, awkwardly looking everywhere but your eyes. 

“Would you like anything else?” 

“This is plenty.” You lied, not wanting to abuse his kindness. 

“Okay. Bring that whenever you come to my office just in case you need something to do.” He gestured to the bag in your lap and you nodded. “Shall we?” You weren’t sure why he was asking, but even with the items he gave you, having only a little decent human interaction is not enough so you agreed eagerly. 

“Do you have something planned?” You asked as you walked next to him, bag in hand. 

“Not exactly. I just have some questions.” That’s all? He’s just going to ask you things? When you arrived, you sat down across from him, waiting for his questions. 

“Are you eating?” He asked suddenly. 

“Uh- yes? It’s hard to, though. The food is… not what I’m used to.” You did your best to say ‘the food here tastes like shit’ without actually saying that. 

“And that is preventing you from eating even though you must be hungry?” His tone was clinical… neutral. 

“I’ve gotten used to the feeling by now.” You shrugged and he hummed in acknowledgment. 

“From now on I think it would be best if you ate lunch with me, in my office.” 

“What?” You choked out, staring at him with wide eyes. 

“You are of no use to me this malnourished.” Is it really that obvious? You’ve only been here a couple weeks… “So I will bring you something and you will eat with me.” He said simply, as if his words didn’t have the impact that they do. He wants to not only bring you food, but eat with you every day too? 

“You can refuse, though I would highly frown upon that, given your current state of health.” 

“No, I- I’ll eat in here. Please.” The thought of actual food was already making your stomach roar to life. 

“Good. Starting tomorrow then.”

“Okay. Was there anything else?”

“When you offered your assistance, was that to satiate boredom or were you being genuine?” He asked casually. 

“Both. Why?”

“It might be nice to have someone to help with all of the paperwork so I can spend my time on more important tasks.” It wasn’t lost on you the way he phrased it as a statement, rather than him just asking for your help. 

“What would you have me do?”

“To start? Copying my notes onto forms, scheduling appointments, things like that.” While it didn’t sound like the most exciting job in the world, it seemed better than your current routine. 

“Sure.” He almost seemed caught off guard by your answer. “During lunch? Or would I do it another time?”

“You need to eat so, no, not during lunch. It will vary each day so I do not have a specific answer.”

“Okay.” 

 “Have you thought about my other offer at all?” You completely forgot about that to be honest. Which he seemed to be able to read from your expression. “That’s alright. You can think about it now if you want and I can answer any questions you have.” 

“Okay… I do have questions.” He motioned for you to continue so you did. “What exactly would I be doing?”

“Sometimes administering the toxin yourself, sometimes writing down my thoughts. Depends on the day.” He shrugged. 

“Why do you want me to do this?” 

“There’s no catch, if that’s what you’re asking.” He said coyly— trying to deflect.  

“If there’s no catch, then why?” He let out a heavy sigh and looked away from you as he thought. 

“Normally when a patient outgrows their… usefulness… Well, you saw the state of some of them down stairs. And as of right now, your fears are trivial. Phobias of a person or an object are common, it’s not something I need to use you for.” 

“So instead of giving me enough toxin to drive me mad, you’d rather I help you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then why can’t you let me go? If I’m not useful to you anymore.” 

“Do you want me to?” That made you falter. 

“I… I don’t want to leave you, I just want to leave here. I miss my bed, I miss real food and comfortable clothes.”

“You miss that… more than you would miss me. Is what you’re saying.” He almost sounded offended. 

“No, I just- I want to help you, but I can’t stay here forever. I’m miserable.” He looked down to the desk at your words. 

“And how do I know this isn’t just some plot to get out of here?” He said, looking at you again. 

“You’re the one with the psych degree, you tell me.” He narrowed his eyes as he examined you and you waited patiently for him to find that you’re telling the truth. He hummed in acknowledgment, seemingly not finding the right words. 

“Why do you want me to stay so bad? You said it yourself, I’m not useful to you anymore.” You asked softly, hesitantly. 

“Just because I don’t need to study you in my experiments, doesn’t mean you can’t help me with them.” 

“That’s the only reason?” You could already feel yourself deflating from his words. 

“What other reason would there be?” You bit your lip and looked at your lap. 

“Nothing.” You smiled dryly, looking back up at him. “Look, as far as I’m concerned, whatever I do is up to you. You’re not going to let me go and you don’t want to use me in your experiments so there aren’t many options.” You shrugged, not wanting to draw this conversation out so you can avoid any other tactless remarks. 

“Fine. Regarding your… treatment, that will be up to you.” Did he not want to do that anymore? You don’t want to say you want to keep doing it if he doesn’t actually want to. 

“You don’t want to anymore?” You tried to sound normal and not desperate or sad. 

“Do I want to keep raping you? No, I don’t.” 

“Oh,” You didn’t mean it like that. Honestly it’s hard to think of it as that now. “Okay, then… we can stop.” You said quietly. 

“Is that what you want? Or are you just saying that because of what I said.”

“It doesn't matter what I want if you don’t want to. That defeats the whole purpose of discontinuing the rape.” He eyed you curiously before responding. 

“If it wasn’t rape, would you want to continue?” He asked, looking at you through slightly narrowed eyes. 

“I mean… it’s- I don’t know… I haven’t really thought about it.” You shrugged, trying to play it off. 

“It’s a yes or no question.” He said teasingly with a glint in his eyes. 

“You answer first then!” You said defensively. 

“Would I want to keep fucking you consensually? Yes.”  He said lowly, making your breath hitch. 

“Okay well maybe I want that too.” You said, once again, defensively. When he didn’t respond and let you stew in your answer, you rambled out more. “And by maybe, I mean more than maybe.” You watched his lips turn up into a smirk at your rambling. “Stop looking at me like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like- like that!” You exclaimed, pointing at the growing smirk on his lips. 

“Would you want me to consensually fuck you right now?” He asked casually, making your eyes widen. You tried to stammer out a response, but he granted you mercy by continuing. “Come here.” As he took off his glasses and set them on the desk, you stood and slowly walked over to him, waiting awkwardly once you were by his side. He grabbed your hips and rolled his chair back a little, giving you room to straddle his thighs. Once you were settled, he placed his hands on the arms on the chair, making you frown. 

“It’s only consensual if you actually give consent. So far you haven’t.” He explained, raising his brows as he waited for your response. 

“Yes. Fine- I want it.” You muttered, embarrassed. 

“What was that?” 

“I want you to fuck me. Please.” You weren’t able to maintain eye contact as you spoke. His hands grasped your hips, pulling you forward to grind against his bulge, making your breath hitch. You lifted your hands to place on his shoulders, but froze, not sure if it’s okay. He seemed to sense your hesitation because he gave you a nod to your silent question. As your hips maintained the movement without him needing to guide you, your gaze drifted down to his lips. You’ve never seen a man with such pink, soft looking lips. You watched them curl up into a small smile, making your eyes snap up to his. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He asked, eyes fluttering down to your lips. 

“Yes please.” You whispered, subconsciously leaning closer. It hasn’t even been very long but you already miss the feeling of his lips pressed to yours— the way he eagerly swallowed down your sounds. 

He leaned up a little and captured your lips in a kiss, making your hips stutter. This kiss was less desperate and hungry than the previous one you shared. Instead, it was slower, more gentle. He removed one hand from your hip and placed it over your covered heat, rubbing your clit through the layers of clothing, making you gasp into the kiss. 

“Please.” You whined against his lips as he continued to tease you. That seemed to be enough for him though and he pulled away from the kiss to free his cock before pulling your pants and underwear down just enough to free your drooling cunt. 

“Tell me what you want.” He prompted, stroking his length to full hardness. 

“Please fuck me.” You whined, hips squirming, trying to maneuver yourself onto him. He relented, lifting your hips enough to line his cock up with your entrance, then pulling you all the way down. You let out a choked moan, brows furrowing and eyes slightly watering from the stretch— maybe I should’ve let him tease me a little more, you thought, trying not to wince. He seemed to pick up on that though and he let you remain buried on his cock, not moving yet. 

“Relax.” He said softly as his hands settled on your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles. 

“I- I’m sorry.” You whispered, willing your body to just hurry up and adjust. “I’m okay… You can move.” You said, holding your breath, preparing yourself for the stinging pain to worsen. Instead, his hand moved to your clit, rubbing slowly to build your arousal. When your walls fluttered around his length, the only indication he gave that he was affected was a slight hitch of his breath. 

His other hand wrapped around the back of your neck and pulled you into another kiss. Your hips started rocking slowly and he pulled back from the brief kiss to remove your shirt. He leaned down, sucking your nipple into his mouth, not even teasing you first, and you gasped as your hands found their way to his hair again. The hand that wasn’t on your clit, moved to your other nipple, lightly pinching and rolling it between his fingers. After another few seconds, he pulled back with a wet pop, then switched to the other one. The stinging in your core was replaced with a dull ache by the time he had finished. 

“Fuck me.” You whispered, hips rocking greedily. He had to look in your eyes to be sure, but once he was satisfied with your honesty, he moved both hands to your hips again and slowly lifted you before letting you drop back down with a startled moan. He continued the slow, teasing pace, you started to whine impatiently as you pulled on his hair. You could tell that he was having an internal battle of whether or not he should fuck you like you wanted or punish you for being greedy and you did your best to hide your smirk when he chose the former. 

He grabbed your hips tighter and planted his feet to start thrusting up into you, but he only lasted a few seconds before his chair started rolling back. He cursed under his breath and stood up, making you grab onto his shoulders as you let out a startled sound. Holding you up by your thighs, he walked you over to the couch, then sat down and almost immediately started bucking up into you. 

“Shit-“ You said through a breath at the suddenness of his thrusts, but he paid no mind to it. He just held you still and fucked you with an intensity you didn’t know he had. 

“That’s it- just take it. Just be a good girl, sit nice and still, and fucking take it.” He growled, making you whimper. 

“Please.” You cried, holding onto his shoulders so tight that your fingers ached. 

“Tell me what you’re begging for.” He said lowly, but his voice was starting to get breathier. 

“I- I don’t know… please!” 

“Poor thing. I fuck you for just a few minutes and already you’re too cock drunk to even know what you’re begging for.” He cooed mockingly, making you whine and clench around him. 

“Dr. Crane,” You whimpered, eyes filling with tears of desperation. 

“I wonder how long I’ll have to fuck you for until you’re permanently cock drunk.” You sobbed out a moan at that, feeling the knot of arousal in your stomach grow even tighter. 

“Please!”

“You want that? You want me to turn you into a cock drunk whore? Just a little sleeve for my dick?” You let out an embarrassed whine, feeling your cheeks heat up as you nodded. 

“I bet you do.” He chuckled breathlessly. “I bet you just want to be turned into a proper fuck toy— you don’t need to think, you just need to be fucked and bred.” You let out a choked sob, his words feeding into your kink enough that the fear was at the back of your mind. You nodded again with a whimper. 

“If you want something, you need to ask for it. And quickly too, otherwise I’ll have to pull out. You don’t want it to go to waste do you?” He frowned, making you mirror the expression. 

“No… Want your- I want your come, please…” You whimpered, eyes burning with tears of humiliation. 

“Yeah? You want me to fill you up? Say it.”

“I- I want you to- to fill me up... Please, Dr. Crane.” When the tears started falling, he removed one hand from your hip to wipe them away as he shushed you. 

“There’s no need to cry. I’ll give you what you want.” He said softly and you sniffled in response.  

“Thank you.” You whimpered. 

“Ready?” You couldn’t respond, not as his grip became painfully tight on your hips and he fucked even rougher. All you could do was nod. “Rub your clit.” He said through a breath. You moved a shaky hand between your legs, rubbing fast circles over your clit as you felt your orgasm rapidly approaching. He let out a low groan as your walls spasmed around his length from the pleasure, then forced you all the way down, the tip bulging your stomach a little. You let out a choked moan, feeling his cock twitching inside as hot come painted your walls. Through your moans you could hear him groaning and panting, eyes squeezed shut as he rode out his orgasm. When he stilled, you whimpered painfully, feeling close to your own orgasm. 

“Please.” You cried, hips trying to rock against him even though he was mostly holding you still. “Please, I wanna come.” You whined, eyes filling with tears once again. 

“Go ahead.” He said simply, removing his hands from your body and settling into the couch with a small smirk. 

“But I want your help.” You frowned. 

“I’m giving you my cock. Would you rather I let you hump my leg instead?” You let out a long, needy whine as you pouted. 

“…No.” You muttered. 

“Then go ahead.” You whined, but started rocking your hips faster, continuing to rub your clit. “That’s it. Put on a good show for me.” The emotion in his voice was new to you— even if it was just smug amusement. You moved your hips faster, rubbed your clit harder, eagerly chasing your orgasm. 

“Good girl.” He was teasing you, mocking you, but you still let out a strangled moan from the praise. Your orgasm crashed over you suddenly, making your whole body tremble as you rode it out, sobbing out moans from the pleasure. When your sounds died down and your body stopped shaking, you sagged in exhaustion, hissing as his cock went even deeper in your now sensitive cunt. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked up at him through your lashes, sleepiness clear in your features. 

“Good girl. Did that feel good?” He said softly and you nodded, not even attempting to talk. You wanted to lean forward against his body, lay your head on his chest and let your heavy eyes fall shut. But you knew there wasn’t even a slight chance that he would react any way other than negatively. So you placed your hand on his chest, forcing yourself to stay up and not give in to the sleepiness. 

“Are you tired?” He asked and your eyes fluttered open again, not even realizing you closed them. 

“Yeah.” You did your best not to slur the word. 

“You can rest here before returning to your room. I have quite a bit of work that needs done so I’ll be here a while.” 

“Mhm.” You nodded, giving him a small smile that you swore he almost returned. When he grabbed your hips and started lifting you off his cock, you whined. 

“I know.” He said quietly. Once you were sitting normally on his lap, he pulled your underwear and pants back up, then gently set you on the couch. When he stood up and walked away, you frowned, but he quickly returned, holding your shirt. He slipped it on over your arms and head, then let you lay down, resting your head on your hand as you curled up on your side. 

“Thanks.” You mumbled, not able to keep your eyes open long enough to wait for a response. 

Part 7