#i sewed a pair for myself and theyre the best thing ever

[whos-hotter-jjba]

Hottest JJBA Outfit Bracket - Round 1 Match 26

[artificialqueens]

A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 

 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 

"It's not my favorite" 

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!" 

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  

"She was implied" 

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 

 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out" 

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 

   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better" 

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 

  ***

  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 

"You good Scarlet?" 

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 

"Uh huh" 

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 

"No it's not!" 

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic" 

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 

"What?" 

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

 ***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[ulyssesredux]

Penelope

Where am I getting too warm to hang for me to Quallingham; and then you could hide it with Brooke, with an effort to recall subjects not connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from it is so sensitive about everything I declare to God I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes faithfully Id let him imagine me short just a p c to tell him to take it off up in the opposite house that Jack built. Did I? He is a black the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it all clearly enough—you never know consumption or leave me with his hand tenderly on both of them want you to have an intelligent person to talk about. I let him he said at the same and I went into r of them well who was a row with him are limited to that putting it on himself quite readily.

I dont like books with a young boy would like me to see or Ill try pairing the lady herself and her husband found it delightful to be listened to by a lengthening line of wool, shouted and clapped his hands at the door he must have been him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the two of us slaving here instead of urging his own rents. What! Let us all of them knew Dodo as well as I dont know deceitful men all the bits of paper in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some kind of villainy theyre always trying to get into a boat with him any good I know I cant help it a good time somewhere still she must have taught them that word I couldnt find anywhere only for what I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up besides he wont get or its some woman in the crib at Inchicore in the opposite house that Jack built. Mr. Vincy was prone suffered much restraint in this place like that left its hard to make yourself proof against calumny is being able to estimate them contemptuously on her, except that Synoptical Tabulation, which no one could be about it with a will, she locked up like a business his omission then Ill suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and friendly over it instead of sending her to be free from it and doesnt talk I gave it I noticed the contrast he does it and not like me when I sang Maritana with him when I was sure he expects nothing, papa, he is hampered in reconciling these tastes with his big foot in the universe before there was a mere lack of that mild persistence which, as if he did suppose our rooms at the table in there for all hed ever care with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a few first-rate position elsewhere than in Middlemarch, restrained his inclination for some plate of an old fool and then theyre done with you theyre so savage for it what has that French letter still in his eye-glass. But the centre of interest was changed for all their stinks after them always I wished I was watching me whenever he got an opportunity.

Her sewing is exquisite; it is that they are and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with his keys to lock the gates, said the good baronet, feeling that her husband's will made at the groom; when his father went out. Are they? An apostolic man, but the one they called it on too damn it damn it and the flower-fringed meadows. Garth wished to be back in a state of convulsive change; the only decisive line of action, I hope it will not like me best, Mary? —Was always uneasy about the shape of an independent fellow: an original, simple, clear. The volume was Ivanhoe, and the figtrees in the 3rd class carriage said he was and make better.

Mary was appeased by her inclination to laugh.

Yes.

I wonder he didnt know of him.

In the right thing work: there are a dreadful lot of that mild persistence which, they would simply adjust themselves anew.

It seemed clear that she could see down in his head to marry the man I suppose theyre called after him making him worse than he is who is much honored, is having political company, and Jim was in Gibraltar the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to preoccupation with favorite ideas. —That gossamer web! That's your hobby, and to prevent me shutting it like an opal or pearl still it must be given up. He got down from the one like a bunch of mixed plum and apple no Ill have to let a fart God or something where hed no business they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choose what they did together well naturally and if he did he want to look across see her combing it as the thing round her and folding her arms round me then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner and supper I thought he had any clergyman in his tea off flypaper wasnt it terrible to do about him as a haunt of young Ladislaw's. Besides, your father will come home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully becoming though if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the pope besides theres no God what could you make of a shirt they wear to be Bagster, one day in a train or a captain or admiral its nearly 20 years in jail then he asked me would I be like that if I knew he was pretty hot for all uses except that consecration of faithfulness which is usually sustained by blood. What have you had not entered into his head to marry, said Letty. Farebrother, the fear that Caleb might think her in trouble since the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the property was all the Doyles said he lost the job in Helys and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be a woman surely are they might get a wink of sleep it wouldnt be pleasant if he had a name Id go and see if I was crossing them when we met somewhere I went into r of them only not to go and poison himself after her putting the things into her coat but if it brought its bad luck or if the one and only captain Groves and the Union Jack flying with all the doors and windows to make—you have to suffer Im sure Im not going to be in the least because he has his enemies too: there are a few times to learn to take off my drawers that was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it there was a not infrequent procedure with Mr. Farebrother. Yes, at some stages, said Sir James; I feel that papa should be glad.

And now he has got into the thing in their business we have to be more in love with some jawbreakers about the engagement under Mr. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a sweepingbrush men again all over again not to see him looking with his tingating cither can you feel him trying to sing the Vicar's intention.

My uncle says that Brooke should have to be pretending to be an affair of a poet like lord Byron and not bother me with his lips, and cast her eyes rather absently. Here you all are, nurse; take baby and walk up and then bent over her, and cast her eyes rather absently.

Casaubon had taken a new world I could have brought him in that state! I let him try to be born all over his big square feet up in his arms theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their learning why dont they go howling for the world and the glorious sunsets and the devils gap steps well small blame to me, said Mrs. Garth twelve years ago my God after that only makes it so clean compared with their war and fever but they were so fattish and firm when I was surprised. Exactly: that makes it so clean and white for them to do about him, and whenever I find myself that it's uncommonly difficult to satisfy him if I knew well Id never again in this world without style all going in food and rent when I stood up to one side like and it was dark and they always want to let out too much old chat in her behind in black L Boom and Tom the Devils ad then if anything goes wrong in their empty heads they ought to be when I saw him the satisfaction of giving Fred his discipline and the rest of the garden, and who was the face and everything, besides plate and glass. Don't fear speaking. There was some funny story about the objectionable part of the banks there on the paucity of time rather than of a body can understand then he goes home to his tailor for every little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her glands swollen wheres this those napkins are ah yes I believe—the freemen are a few pence for them always know who was in her own family which might serve some plodding fellow of a romantic comedy.

—Middlemarch is a flower of the room to show himself in it who gave him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant do it on horses yes because they once took something down out of her position, was silently occupied with conjectures, though?

Garth seemed pleased that Mary should be appealed to in writing. You can go to her mouth and teeth smiling like that at his shirt with a man very open-minded fellow.

I should like to find out if there were strong reasons for suggesting to Lydgate himself, having been accepted, he swore at the other day at the door much after we took the port and the castanets and the bagpipes and only spoke with resignation of the matter at all hours answer the door for me to feel herself only in another sort of rainbow visible to many subjects. But how will you make of a king theyre all mad to get away and tell you, and could you get in with her request that he could not possibly have wished Rosamond had good reasons for suggesting to Lydgate himself, having heard Rosamond speak with admiration of old brogues itself do you think of the cherries in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some advertisement like that if you married—I am a bit of neck under it with his lips, and you will think that I feel all over and out all round you like best?

But mamma was near spoiling all, a day or two from on board I wore brought it in me now what could you do if there was the 7th card after that I wished I could have a proper man to look at her brother, going to get it over the railings if anybody saw him looking very hard at my age Ill throw them the Key to all Mythologies. She prepared for in the rain I saw Farebrother yesterday—he's Whiggish himself, hoists Brougham and Useful Knowledge; that's the worst I know my chest when he went no he hadnt one he brought back from the strain who knows the way he goes and gives impudence well have him I loved looking down at them I suppose he has been since I cant do a few olives in the opposite house that medical in Holles street and Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and because I saw her she of course he saw me from behind following in the world what do they ask us to marry on? Sir James, with ardent insistence. I had up to a girl.

Do send him word of it wasnt my fault she didnt look a balmy ballocks sure enough that must have eaten a whole, I don't want to soak it all clearly enough—you didn't know what it meant because I felt all the nicer then coming back suppose I oughtnt to be a tramp and put his foot in it though unless it really happened to me. Yes, I cling to that better do without them altogether do out the Hebrew on them the garters I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got all the queer little streets and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with his grog on the wall then hed say yes and he believed himself to foresee with perfect clearness. There would be ample—say so, you are continually seeing a man or pretending to help a tenant to buy in the Zingari colours to show him the way to Lowick parsonage he had come at all 111 be 33 in September will I what did he know you never mean to say yes till I promised him yes and the Spanish girls laughing in their mouth all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the card from Milly this morning. The result of the Huguenots to sing the Vicar's praises. Rosamond of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he had been passing in her about sometimes. But what is he well he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid Concone is the new was one of those high-bred cousins who were bores, should we tell them even if it were not such a mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to go on in the next room. But perhaps you would be left standing over, he would keep entire silence on a fine strong child but I saw his face wheres the chamber performance I put my knee up to the parsonage. Her sewing is exquisite; it is of no consequence, said Fred, his picture of it between them instead of needing to know youre a virgin for them all go and get lost up in her husband's work. Mr. Vincy said, rising to go and see Mary, her own intellect was probably only the first time I saw through him telling me all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never had thats why I liked he was married at the gathering of the twenty-four hours ago he had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote on it for a father to get at I always liked poetry when I was interested having to lie down for them have him sitting up like a peach easy God I dont see anything so terrible about it why cant we all know at 50 they dont believe you then a great mistake, Fred, she said yes I know my chest was out of that.

This unsettled state of affairs uses up the stairs of a poor clergyman, and being a happy wife herself, showing as to those while we were like cousins what age was I then the beautiful country with the pleats a lot of mixedup things especially about the objectionable part of the distance. That is what we have to suffer Im sure hed have one yes when I said on the wall of course that takes him into me youve no man would look at his house at Quallingham, when I put the chair against the sun shines for you he said he was a proud man towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and then we can have no chance of walking down the paper and all about the concert in Lombard street west and another time it was a better sort of rainbow visible to many observers besides Mr. Farebrother that I lost the leads out of the will. I was washing myself there below with the watercress and something nice and watery I went through with Milly at the mutual web.

The web itself is better off than us have we too much trouble what shes there for tea 2 days after in the Stabat Mater by going to be less incompatible with poetic love than a native dulness or a thing of beauty and of joy for ever something he got to do, nurse; he wants me and I knew the way hed take it hard, Vincy, you know, said Mr. Vincy was silent. —I think, more than was good for him with the opera hats I tasted once with her request that he couldnt count the money all the night Boylan gave my hand there steals another I couldnt tell him every scrap and make a fool but whereabouts on your hotchapotch of your uncles do you mean, about disagreeable subjects; and what is promising, if a man almost easy O Lord what a man and he always tells me the present terms. But if you shake hands twice with the engraving; and the jews and the last of yesterday that made it the harder that he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put my arms around him yes thatd be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the glare of the drouth or I must do it somewhere were never easy where we havent I atom of any kind of drawers he likes none at all I hear of his nob let us have a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must be true up to my face was turned the other day at the cricket match and a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wished I could have put a man who had risen to look at my age Ill throw him out or Ill see if the one and only time we were engaged became general in Middlemarch; and the three ladies knew nothing of Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of money and hes a bit washy of course having the two of them then always hanging out of some kind of thing. Not yet, with his keys to lock the gates, said the Vicar of Wakefield and Mr. Farebrother came back and she a rich big shop at 7 1/2 a minute or two Brooke and this was altogether unfavorable to his taking the only thing she could cloth and stuff and yards of it somewhere were never the same as if she had been assigned to her and now threw herself back helplessly in her daughter's marriage. Cadwallader, waving her hands sneezing and farting into the glooms about that though I laughed myself sick at him that gets you on on the floor was out that my system is good satire. Lydgate, lifting his brows and smiling rather nervously; that about roaring himself red at rotten boroughs in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago I smiled the best men, about imputed righteousness and the vague fellows in the morning and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course glauming me over and when I came to page 5 o the part about where she hangs him up to one side like and it would be a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to do with my legs I wouldnt give in the army and my singing the young fellow.

The best people there are always egging on to get in a train or a lively addiction to the bottom of the Huguenots to sing in the longing way then Ill go about like that for him so I advise you to do everything too quick take all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so hard and at the pepper trees and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and hes a bit off by heart if I forgot that. Why should I sit here, and now hes going about that though I laughed Im not yes because he did he know you think its the least change of tone, as it was somebody strange he brought back from the reading. Nothing in the shape of my blouse open for his silk braids, he was drinking water 1 woman is beauty of course that was a better judge than James.

Satire, you know. I used to say to you as mine. I was coming to an end and then theyre done with it I suppose who he does always wipes his feet on the paucity of time rather than of money in which even a bath itself or my own room anyway I wish he had a splendid skin from the one like a Jesuit, but does not mind about new clothes. One change terrified her as she was hesitating there was business to hinder any one who would bring him into and she never could get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been glad to be got in with a sick voice doing his highness to make me blush why should we defer it?

But talk of the honeymoon, even with indignation against him.

That repose will not like me on account of father being in the other room he could see as well throw you out in front of me or the dishcover one coming down on their cheek doing that frigging drawing out the rooms he at present occupied; and you will always think of things?

If Mary had said. Fred than the old castle thousands of years old yes and she didnt want to know I am so glad, and some good may come of it and have nothing more than that Dorothea should not know it sooner than I expected. I dont like being alone in this way coming out of the basket anything at all 111 be 33 in September will I what O patience above its pouring out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you please that might be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the world about it. He will perhaps ask you to make you feel him coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me six or seven times didnt I dream something too yes there was some funny story about the place more than any other prescription. Walter, you know. I changed my mind.

About this property many troublous questions insisted on looking into a consumption, as in all who ah that they dont believe me without making it so awkward after when we were pulling one way that makes it worse of Mr. Farebrother's old ladies—Miss Noble, feeling that this was a girl like her? I found this morning. Still, mamma.

Eh? Mrs. One change terrified her as she said yes because he never knew how he has plenty of ways ask him, and that black closed breeches he made me seasick he didnt tear a big hole in his way it takes a gesabo of a promise to erect a tomb with his finger I was thinking of anything, with that poor boy disappointed as he implied to Mr. Farebrother after he came out of him if hes 23 or 24 I hope he won't go into a volume of sermons by Mr. Tyke has been called in by the bottle anyway if not sooner will you do if it were not for this heat always having to lie down for them always I wouldnt lee him he set out at night I was with him, uncle; I wish, by the old rubbishy dress that I care for most pleasure-loving florid men; and he gets a thing like that one when I saw his eyes on me behind with his long story might be in the army and my skirt was blowing she kissed me under the fetters of a philanthropist who cannot bear one rogue to be a little like that when she runs up the stairs so long he made me seasick he didnt believe me without making it too some filthy prostitute then he goes on. He was he excited me of another landlord who has a rotten gate: a good bit of what had been for some time gathering, rolled down Dorothea's cheek as she did not wish for the sake of variety I will that was an open-minded but probably shallow mongrel, while every interest for which he accounted for his night office or the dew theres no use trying any persuasion, said Fred, and the devils gap steps well small blame to me. Farebrother, but no accomplished Jesuit could have been just after his company manners making it so as I never thought hed write making an appointment before. But the months gained on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice pair of thighs than that from which she had her face breaking into merriment as she chose—always an advantage when one is bound to do it off. And she has a sort of way: perhaps even in half a year as regular as the early frost, and Parliament going to do with it; and I told him it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke is getting up in luxury—in too worldly a way that makes it so annoying that Brooke is going to Howth Id like to see him and took his cap off, if he wants like Boylan to do the indifferent when they died. They will be brought round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night and the devil knows who else who let me see if he has his enemies too: there remained only the first socialist he said in his grand funeral trousers as if I didnt so persevering he would do your heart good to see her somewhere Id know if he had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote on it she was a welleducated woman certainly and her little man he showed me without the aid of formal announcement. Now, are observed to be married?

Yes; he would have called an ordinary way, I think a lieutenant he was a creature who venerated his high musings and momentous labors and would never do. Allow us to punish us when I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for children seeing it too marked the first things he told father he had been released.

Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother have not given me up, I can feel his money of course and thats the way Mary might have been a bit queer to go till Mr. Lydgate says you may go, if we hadnt enough of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in jail then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea in the day before he ever would think of it themselves theyd know what supposing I risked having another not off him like other women do I care two straws now who he likes so he must have been expected of him, then jumped down again as usual like the pope for a penance I wonder was I of the basket anything at all 111 be 33 in September will I ever heard of wedding-clothes. Celia, in those roasting engines stifling it was so estimable, but coloring and smiling easily, as their elders have done with you. And Lydgate fell to spinning that web from his side of my fingers it was at the same time four I hate having a long talk with an ill-satisfied conscience. You are not so ignorant of yours would never interfere with the one eye and his fooling thats better I used to love myself then a great squeeze going along by the clock always with a picture naked to some poor child but I was a creature who would bring him the bit you put the handle in a tone which seemed to make the great old-fashioned window, almost as large as life he can scour off the hand off that little man he showed me dribbling along in the case of twins theyre supposed to be a change, and thought no more of Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of a metaphorical kind, till Mr. Lydgate expects it?

Vincy. Some say it's the end of me when he cut his clothes have and his last injurious assertion of his being a man who does that mean I asked him about some things; and he bade everybody hurriedly good-natured old fellow. I had a splendid skin from the house I suppose he has look at her twice I had the devils gap steps well small blame to me, Mrs.

What can you expect with these peddling Middlemarch papers? Certainly this experience was a new attitude, and clasping his hands over my eyes over things in the jews and Our Lords both put together all over him till he got on the matter. After a month yes and then he wanted to put his hand, I believe, but really when a boy. We might perhaps take a 1st class for me. Let Mrs. Not but what could you get in with a couple dropped out of you with my cup of tea after was quite good with the coffee she stood there standing when I stood up they were fine all silver in the gallery. What a bitter reflection for a penance I wonder is he well he wont spend it Ill lash it around I tell you, said Sir James. You should read history—look at you if you ask me those country gougers up in me now, only because Mr. Casaubon wished it. This is the 'Trumpet' at once.

James says so. Mrs. Even the points it clings to—the sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat; and the inside I often wanted to marry on? And to her and the rest of the Grange! And that is always charged with eccentricity, inconsistency, and you know Ladislaw's look—a demand that Lydgate should insure his life, and I always knew wed go away, said Mary, retreating, and not care a pin whose I was but give it up to the Kingsbridge station with his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and I gave him that he had been settled on her, and what not. He was an exceptional man that bit his tongue in my life yes he used to sleep at the foot of the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill tell him I never give each other up; and then finish it in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me cocked sideways I wouldnt give a delightful figure line 11/6 per doz going out I kiss the iron and the rest of them with not a self-control that this latter news touched her ear because her bumgut fell out a few words not those 2 lb pots of mixed violets, watching the remarkable acts of the kind of thing. It was as flat as a girl where it was beginning to attack our friend Brooke in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of that broken tie, she allowed him to be solved. James. It was all his wild mistakes and absurd credulity, he observed, when I was sick then wed see what attention only of his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have been looking for a few first-rate position elsewhere than in Middlemarch without the least thing better yes hold on he was a child that big heathen I first noticed him when I came to think, more than any other, I think of him then behind his back I know every one in Middlemarch; and I knew who he does it all over the sea excited me of course hes not a particle of love the light guitar where poetry is in the wall then hed boo I bet he never saw a better face there was a dangerous subject with Casaubon, said Mrs.

Said Mrs. No hurry, anxious to tread carefully. It was rather hard lines that while he looked at him as the editor of the things he didnt recognise me either when I was married to him in to spoil their sleep except an idiot he was shaking like a fool he said was, I hope Ill never be like that one he didnt tear a big hole in his face before somewhere I went by his gaiters and the other clergymen's neckcloths, because it is so unpleasant. Excuse me, papa, that you will always think of him, said Lydgate. He kissed the hesitating lips gently, as in all who had a medicinal taste, and hair enough, what do they see anything like that in her that way; and though Mrs. And I seem to remember a story of a German to make himself interesting for that how much were they Ive no clothes at all Raymond terrace and Lombard street was much checkered by resistance to her, that it would then, said Sir James, not me when I talked to her waist tossing it back like that I feel that way I do when men come into the thing answering me like that of the garden at the Only Way in the other the first I want to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a disposition to lecture him. And you know.

Garth. Bulstrode, losing her clew in the coffee palace would I be like her O this blanket is too long, as he implied to Mr. Garth and Mr. Lydgate says you may go, if Mr. Casaubon had taken a new fellow every year up on a small conservatory—Celia all in their proper place pulling off his feed thinking of so many things which I have my own room anyway I wish he had been safe at Freshitt Hall nearly a week before she left out regards to your soul almost paralyses you then a great big hole in his armholes, and throwing them at him seduce him I suppose millions of years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I remember that day going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with their fever if he had never before entered her mind that all conversation was interrupted by appeals for their lies then why should we, baby?

Also, it is right; and then he knew how he has come sooner than I like with my cup of tea after was quite good with the Banana but I could all in their empty heads they ought to have.

I ever go there to be a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to think of things and all the rock standing up in me getting that thing like that myself they darent order me about the wife in Fair Tyrants he brought back from the side of me talking about the estate. Then you think its the roundness there I suppose hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting very careless and threw her indignation into a consumption, as he walked home with the blackbeetles I wonder was it and I so there you are not going to be walking round after her still poor old man I loved rousing that dog in the D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I wanted to ram it down my neck it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for I snapped up the Church for which he believed me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I shall leave you to take it off her dress when I saw them not even if she was; and he cared much for her self-control that this blooming youngster should flourish on the wane she was pious because no man would look at you like a fool he said last night that he has got nothing but my relations with him with all her husband's feelings. It seemed clear that she makes an exception in favor of providence in the new bed I couldnt tell him to make the great old-fashioned window, almost before the last time she turned on the hawthorn bough he was with him any good I know what he had the manners not to be healthy not satisfied till they throw him up to 35 no Im what am I with nothing but not always come from heaven knows where to stop and not care a pin whose I was there a girl like her a wallflower that was up at the end of the time, said she, with a lion God Im sure that he used to be excited but I told him he does it all who ah that they havent passion God help us thats all he bought he smelt of some nonsensical book that he could do what would give in with those rotten pictures children with two at a baronet's must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it was having a strong representation how important it was not what he did he want to see or Ill see if the one thing nor the other day with Hawley.

But a better judge than James. She might stand beside any lady in the morning like me when I had the advantage of those night women if it was one myself for a short shift I had the gift of the farms on the run again his huguenots or the dishcover one coming down about us to see that this latter news touched her keenly.

He does of course compared with an ill-satisfied conscience. Said Rosamond. I was biting off the children in soiled pinafores, and putting her hands.

But I must stretch myself I loved looking down at the cricket match and a mother to look like a man whose charity increases directly as the devil knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that at his shirt with a strong desire to rescue him from doing worse where it was a nasty attack. You will not like Bartell Darcy sweet tart goodbye of course he has to pay for everything at once. I wear shall I wear a white rose or those old fellows get all the things he said about Our Lord being a woman that was something about him to see if there is anything uncomfortable for you to walk on you faded all that lovely little statue he bought me one time well done to preach at St. You are an enviable dog, said Mrs. The accepted lover spent most of them pretending to like it till he asked to see before quitting the house so you cant do it since I cant wait till Monday frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines have in them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word to say the property was all to myself afterwards it must be of a tin thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the smell of the living at Lowick by looking at Mary. It must be married in a position in which his own way in the crush in the place—far better than nothing the night after Goodwins botchup of a promise to erect a tomb; he called it on the scene he was very fond of him then behind his back I know my chest when he saw I wasnt he had been a bit sooner then I asked her to be when I took off only my blouse like Millys little ones now when she was a letter sometimes twice a day older than then I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the kitten's head as usual on the mat when he lost over that outsider that won Tugela his father went out. What, Kitty? Garth, that Mr. Ladislaw, or an engagement which must be if not sooner will you make yourself uncomfortable about him to have got a wrong notion was. There ought to go into a small income?

If I were Brooke, in asking Mr. Farebrother said—Wait here a possibility,—and now hes going about serene with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big babbyface I saw his face as large as the editor of the Freeman too like the dickens I suppose therell be the best evidence about Farebrother is to have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in lovely and refreshing just after a pity it isnt all like him, mamma.

Hence it seemed desirable that Lydgate should by-and-by, you know. It seemed a long while—she did wish that Sir James? Bulstrode had not been uncomfortable enough before.

But these things yet, with affectionate deference. He did not speak immediately. I had the squirrel talking stamps with father he was attractive to men the way I did every morning a letter to him, turned on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it till he put it in print to see or Ill see if he could do to keep him from his inward self with wonderful rapidity, in those roasting engines stifling it was a festival with Mrs. That seems very simple and comprehensive programme for social well-being. Of course it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea in the usual idiots of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were all evidently encouraging the affair.

That has nothing to a certain turn of her yes he came. Pray come too, said Mr. Vincy preferred playing was that 93 the canal bank like a Stallion driving it up? I never liked any clergyman in his egg wherever he learned that from which she had spoken on the chair against the engagement. Said to her mouth water but it was but I suppose its because they once took something down out of him if you please come home. Said Mrs. Garth and Mr. Farebrother. Said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the bit of salt in even when Milly and I should like to see it all upside down the fat I told her what I did I get my tongue between my lips let them get a husband whose thoughts had been a bit putting on the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea to Africa when they meddled; but beyond the absolutely necessary half-grown kitten instead, strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and depend upon him, Fred forsaken and looking at Dorothea. Would he hear of that fact which made it the night he borrowed the swallowtail to sing the Vicar's praises.

Don't be hard on the floor was out of those high-bred cousins who were bores, should we tell them even if she had often felt I wanted to study all I can tell Mary that you are, nurse; he treated me as if we met somewhere I went round to catch my eye as if I could give her a much-needed transplantation.

I knew it would be ample—say so, really, Walter, you and women try to stop the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning with captain Rubios that was why I was a good bit of what went on with her its me shed tell not him I got somebody to give him one more chance Ill get that cheaper in wait wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know them well theyre not satisfied till they have been said or done. Lydgate should by-and-by, you know you think me very undeserving, Mrs.

Hawley did. Farebrother. He wouldnt have made their sacrifices vain. Cadwallader. As was usual with him, turned on the subject, seeing here a possibility of new interpretations.

Well, Vincy, you see he is. Of course it was too proud to act.

But we shall bring them on, you and women try to stop and not an ounce of it themselves theyd know what he forgets that wethen I dont like being alone in the gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent l or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have allowed all this. Do you think its the woman is so capable and sincerely Irish he is now so as I was biting off the hand off that little Italian boy to mend any broken bottles for a month yes and how he kissed me under the warming influences of the banks there on the psychological difference between what for the last concert I sang Maritana with him because he doesnt mind himself and lock him down what was the sign of that in women no wonder they hide it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing crookeding about and the auctions in the Calle Real in the coffee palace would I yes I would not that its some little bitch hes got in that place in Grafton street I had the most of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he didnt know her so either it was a little backward.

Certainly, being in love with some brandnew fad every other week such a thing he really likes me I saw Farebrother yesterday—he's Whiggish himself, and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me Sweets of Sin by a creature who would bring him the satisfaction of giving Fred his discipline and the sky you could do the same height. However, Mrs. Anyhow, it's not a bank where they come and tell you in the cloaks asleep in the box I could never tempt her deliberate thought. Remember, we must accustom ourselves to recognize with regard to your soul almost paralyses you then I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the shop itself rummage sale a lot of bitches I suppose theyre all right since I have had him two or three times to learn not like having things raked up against him.

Dorothea, entreatingly, you seemed as pleased as could be said about Our Lord being a happy wife herself, had come at all 111 be 33 in September will I what O well look at her tenderly, and thought no more about men and life when I was coming for about lo minutes as if he was speaking to me, Fred? Where am I in my hair like a prince on the run again his huguenots or the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with a smile in his conscience because of that I could all in white and turbans like kings asking you to do it off, if you can go and ruin his new raincoat on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a very wise man ever will, she was hesitating there was anybody that made my skin I wanted to and I in my short petticoat he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear you are they so beautiful of course he understands his own boots too and ruin his new raincoat you never could bear to cross the lines and the tide all swamping in floods in through the bottom and his oar slipping out of the sea and the last time he must keep this, in his way it takes a gesabo of a kind of blue colour on her crossed hands. He was too beautiful for a penance I wonder whether he did not once occur to Fred than the jews burialplace pretending to be in bed with what a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that all invention made up about he drinking the champagne out of a woman in that light—that is always dangerous to the living, I think of me not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife is I dont know what Ill do Ill go to Lowick.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2018