#i seriously have like. a compulsive need to watch it at least 4 times a year its a Problem

[txmxkis]

i just watched the second to last episode of fmab (haven’t watched it all the way through before) AND KM SOBBINGGGGGGGG omg i know it’s one of your favs and i’ve tried to avoid ur posts so i don’t spoil it for myself but omg…. needed to say something to someone who would Understand

OH MY GODDDDDDD WKDMWKKFIWKRKD i'm so sorry it's all over my blog lmfaoooo 😭 the last episode will have u cryin like a BABY too i have NEVER felt the same way about any anime as i do about fmab it's seriously just. objectively a masterpiece. and i understand SOOOO BADDDD I COULD TALK ABOUT IT FOR DAYS STRAIGHT UGHHHGHHHHGHH I'M SO GLAD YOU WATCHED IT AND LIKE IT!!!!!!!! honestly and for real. scream about it with me anytime it is the anime of all time to me 🫶

[bluejay-writes]

Stark Affection - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 || AO3 Link

Rating: T for Teens (this is a kissing book) Pairing: Vanderwood x MC

Here we are with Chapter 3 as scheduled. 💜 We'll finish up tomorrow!

“Vandy, what the hell.” The blonde said after MC had stalked off.

“Shut it, Lucille.” Vanderwood said, irritated. “You’re the one that got me dragged into this job while I’m supposed to be on vacation. I’m just trying to keep her safe.”

Seven sighed, fidgeting with his wig. “Safe my ass, she’s going to leave you for this.”

“We’re not dating.”

“Seriously? You…” Seven sighed. “You’ve never been happy like this, Vandy. Never ever. Don’t lose her because you’re too stubborn to talk to her.”

“I can’t drag her into this.”

“She was dragged into this the second the paparazzi got her photo, and you know it.”

Vanderwood sighed. “I’m bad for her. I’m just going to hurt her.”

“Well, obviously, with an attitude like that.”

“This job…”

“…is going to be over soon. We’re almost done tracking them all down and then you can be whoever you want to be, no strings attached. Don’t be an idiot.”

“I’m not being an idiot, I’m being careful.”

“Both of you stop bickering, we have a situation.” Saeran’s voice rang over their earpieces.

“What is it?” Seven said, immediately back in work mode.

“The target has Cinnamon.” Saeran said, and it sounded especially ominous in his perpetually soft tone.

Vanderwood froze, and Seven blinked at the fear carved onto his partner’s face. This was exactly what Vanderwood had been afraid of, and now it was happening. Would she have been safer if she’d known to watch her back? If she’d known what he was wrapped up in? Or was Vanderwood right and this whole world was too dangerous for her?

Seven would never forgive himself if anything happened to Cinnamon, and by extension her relationship with Vanderwood, whatever mess it was.

“Don’t worry. We’ll have her back in no time.” He said, already pulling a laptop out of his beach bag, crouched against the wall and typing like a madman.

----------

The first thought that MC had when she regained consciousness was that she was cold. Don’t recommend getting kidnapped in a bikini. She thought, uncharitably. Her wrists and ankles were bound with something. Softer than zip ties. Maybe nylon rope? There was a soft cloth over her eyes, and something similar used to gag her. Sound started to filter over MC’s consciousness, and she kept still, trying to hear their conversation.

“They’ll never find us man, calm down.”

“You don’t know these guys. They’re relentless. And you took one of their women.”

“Yeah, see, I still think she’s just a cover for why they’re here.”

“Well, if they abandon her we’ve at least gained a hot new toy, so I don’t see the issue.”

MC couldn’t hold back the shudder at the implication of the last speaker’s words, and her movement drew the attention of the men around her.

“Bitch is awake.” He said, kicking at her with his foot until she compulsively tried to move away and found that she could do no such thing, given the bindings. Her squeak of pain was muffled by the gag they’d used, and MC felt her tears welling up.

“We need to knock her out again. If she’s really his, she’ll be more trouble than she’s worth awake.” The first voice said, and she could hear someone standing up.

The next thing she heard was a loud thud, and then four soft pops, like a robot was coughing at her, and then she felt strong arms around her. But again, this was definitely not him, and she struggled.

“Calm down.” A familiar voice said and despite her best intentions, for the first time in awhile, she listened. I’m pretty sure that’s the quiet twin. Saeran. What the hell is he doing here? “Do you still have that bunny I gave you?” Yeah, that could only be Saeran. She nodded. She did still have the bunny from the carnival, it lived on her nightstand with its little mouse buddy.

MC could almost only tell they were moving from the air blowing past her face, Saeran’s gait was so smooth. After a few moments, she was handed to another similar set of arms, and then heard the distinct sound of a sliding van door close.

“Hey Cinnamon.” Oh. Lucille.. How the heck was Lucille here?! She would have asked, but she was still bound and gagged. “Relax, you’re safe now. Stay still, I’m going to cut these ropes off and I don’t want to accidentally cut you, okay?”

Unable to speak past the gag, MC just nodded, and then she felt the cold steel of a knife against her ankle, and held back a shudder from sheer power of will. With quick but safe motions, Seven cut her bonds, and started rubbing her feet and hands to get feeling back into them properly.  Only once he’d done that did he realize she was still blinded and gagged.

“Shit, I should have taken these off first, MC. I’m so sorry, I was just so worried about your circulation.” He made quick work of the gag and blindfold, and MC squinted at the reintroduction of light to her universe, moving her jaw around now that she was allowed.

“Lucille?” she asked quietly, eyeing the man in front of her skeptically.

“Haha. Yeah, it’s me.  I didn’t have time to take the makeup off. I’m sorry for misleading you earlier.”

Misleading me? Earlier? MC was confused for a few seconds until she really paid attention to the makeup. She knew she’d recognize that ridiculous cat-eye anywhere.

“You’re the blonde.” She said, accusingly.

“Guilty as charged.”

MC looked down at her hands in her lap, not really sure how to feel about anything that had gone on, when she noticed the blindfold laying on the floor nearby, looking for all the world like a face chart, and burst out laughing.

Seven followed her gaze and joined her laughter. “Oh my god MC has no one taught you about setting spray?”

MC’s laughter seemed to free something in her, and she went from laughing to hiccups to sobbing in moments. Seven pulled her close, and she cried into his shoulder until they started to hear voices outside the van again.

“Yes sir, Mr. Choi. We’ll handle it. Mr. Han would like a status call on Miss Cinnamon once you’ve confirmed everything.”

“I assumed as much. And the local media?”

“They’ll want a statement, we’re burying it on page five.”

“Give them the usual boilerplate about tracking down extremists.”

“They already have the CCTV footage of MC’s kidnapping.”

“Shit. Alright. We’ll put our heads together. When do you need it by, and does she need to be further involved?”

“Best if she’s involved in the statement so they don’t accuse us of a coverup. We’ve got 6 hours.”

“Does the CCTV show her face?” Vanderwood’s voice.

“Yes, but they’ve agreed to mosaic it for her privacy.”

“See that they do. We’ll do what we can. We need to head out.”

“Understood. Please remember to update Mr. Han.”

“Will do.” Saeran said, and slid into the passenger seat, while moments later Vanderwood opened the driver’s door.

“How’s she doing?” Vanderwood asked, and then met her eye in the rearview mirror, and startled. “You’re awake?”

“I’m resilient.” MC muttered, wiping the tears off her cheek. “I’m fine, I think. R-really cold.” She hadn’t meant to stutter, but a sudden shiver took her by surprise.

“Oh, that would be the shock.” Seven said, and she soon found herself wrapped in a big fluffy blanket before being settled into a seat, and belted in.

“We’re heading back to the hotel.” Vanderwood said as he pulled out into traffic. “I know it’s not your favorite place right now, MC, but it’s the safest place we’ve got given the circumstances.

MC nodded, and between the warm blanket and the adrenaline clearing from her system, she was asleep in seconds.

----------

The next time MC woke up, she was wrapped in the right arms, sitting on the chaise end of the sofa. A conversation was going on around her, but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on it. She just nuzzled closer to Vanderwood, until she heard him chuckle.

“Sleeping Beauty is awake.”

“Mn.” She said elegantly. “Morning, Stark.”

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, and she smiled, until she heard Seven’s voice.

“Well, looks like she doesn’t hate you.”

Suddenly, everything came back to her. The argument. The kidnapping. The fact that she was jealous because of Lucille of all people.

“Oh.” She said and opened her eyes.

“There. Now she’s awake.” Saeran said, and stood, returning a moment later with a glass of water for her.

“So.” Vanderwood said, slipping out from behind her so he could see her face. “You wanted to talk.”

MC was embarrassed, thinking back to her outburst this afternoon. At least she thought that was still just this afternoon… 

“I’m sorry.” Vanderwood said, before she could get any words out. “I should have told you right away when our vacation turned into work for me. But, as you can see, work isn’t something I really want you getting tangled in, for your safety.”

MC nodded. “I should have figured something like that, honestly. It was just easier to jump to the conclusion that you were only pretending to be interested in me.”

Vanderwood sighed, and Seven laughed. “I told you so, Vandy.”

“Don’t call me that.” Vanderwood said sharply, but then turned to MC.  “So instead of making you ask question after question, here’s what’s been going on…”

The talk lasted an hour or so, in which MC got to learn that the crack team that worked with the C&R intelligence team to take down the prime minister was led by Vanderwood, and that the twins in front of her were in fact the Prime Minister’s sons of media note. In hindsight, MC felt silly that she didn’t connect that, but she was admittedly pretty focused on finishing her Master’s Degree. And since then they’d been working with the C&R’s Intelligence Department and the National Intelligence Service to find and take down any remaining members of the secret agency that Seven and Vanderwood worked with prior to these events.

“Okay, so you mean to tell me that when I get home from this vacation I have my callback interview to be your coworker?”

“What?!” The twins chimed, and Vanderwood chuckled. “You knew?!” They turned on him instantly.

“What, you two didn’t even think to look at your interview schedule for next week?” He said in his defense.

“Well… no.” Saeran said. “I was a bit too distracted with this sudden case to look ahead.”

“And my brain is for hacking and games. Work is… if not one of those two, I’m unlikely to do it.” Seven said.

MC laughed. “Okay, well… um… I still have one more question that you haven’t answered. About this whole kidnapping mess.”

“It was because you’re with me.” Vanderwood said, attempting to answer her question before she asked it. “And I understand if that means you don’t want to be with me anymore. I promise not to—“

“No. No. Not that. Vanderwood. I know you think cutting yourself off from love will somehow save the day and you’re just wrong about that. I love you, you idiot. Just deal with it.” MC blushed, the word love even passing her lips seemed a bit much. “I wanted to ask how you found me so fast.”

While Vanderwood was floundering from her reaction, Seven cleared his throat, a light blush coloring his cheeks. “That… was me.” MC speared him with a look, and he shook his head. “I don’t mean to be cocky. It wasn’t like I miraculously knew where they’d take you in a resort city I only kindof know. The bangle bracelet you’re still wearing.  It’s got a tracker in it.”

MC looked at the bracelet in shock. “That’s why I couldn’t figure out how to take it off. God, I’m so glad it was waterproof.”

“Haha. Yeah.” Seven said, and moved so he was crouching in front of her with a hand held out. “Here, let me show you how it comes off.” When she held out her hand, he showed her the motions to take it off, and then set the removed bracelet in her hand,  open. It really did take three hands or some weird spider-finger action. There was no accidentally taking the thing off.

“It’s only on if the latch is closed, so you don’t need to worry about me stalking you if you just leave it in your jewelry box.” He said, retreating to his chair.  MC looked at the bracelet, at the twins, and then Vanderwood (who seemed to have regained his composure), and slipped the bracelet back around her wrist before latching it again.

“I trust you.” She said, a soft smile playing at the edges of her lips. “Besides, I feel naked without it. And besides that, it’s already saved my life once, so it’s worth it.”

“I mean you are practically naked as it is.” Saeran said, and MC realized he’d been slightly flushed for this entire conversation. She realized that his reaction wasn’t an overreaction when she glanced down at herself and realized that despite being haphazardly wrapped in a fluffy blanket, she was still just in her bikini. She wondered then what had happened to her coverup.

Vanderwood cleared his throat. “We still need to get word to Jumin, as well as prepare a statement for the press.” MC blinked. Jumin was Chat Blanc at the Institution Gala. Director at C&R… oh, I bet he’s in charge of the Intelligence Unit. Above Jaehee Kang, that is. “Can I be of any help for either of those things?”

“Well…” Saeran said, and paused.

“What do you want us to say about your kidnapping?”

“Uh. Whatever you want as long as I don’t come across badly and you don’t use my photo? Since, you know, mostly naked bikini girl over here.”

“They have CCTV footage, but you’re mostly obscured by your abductors, and they’re going to blur your face.” Saeran said. 

“I’d like to refer to her simply as ‘a member of the team’. I know you’re not officially working for us, but you were bait, even unwittingly. And you honestly did so well, MC.” Seven said.

Vanderwood sighed. “It’s probably safer than admitting she’s involved with any of us. Others will think twice before trying the same tactic if they think she’s trained. And unless she really screws up… we could use a brain like hers on the team.”

“Her creds are killer.” Seven agreed.

“She’s also sitting right here?” MC said, chuckling. “Okay, do what you want, I’m going to go shower and change into something more comfortable.”

“Doesn’t that usually mean fewer clothes?” Vanderwood said, grinning.

MC raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, sure, but you never were one for an easy option, were you?”

Color sprang to Vanderwood’s cheeks as she disappeared into the bathroom, and the twins immediately started teasing him.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with everyone’s favorite trope - sharing a bed! We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

2) Been Gone Way Too Long | Explicit | 8836 words

“This can’t be happening,” Louis says, banging his hand against the window. “This seriously can’t be happening right now.”

Things like this only happen in the movies. Things like this don’t happen in real life. There’s no way that he’s seriously been snowed in. There’s no way that the heating is broken. There’s no way that it’s going to take upwards of twenty-four hours and probably a lot longer for the storm to break and someone to come and rescue them.

“Just sit down, Louis,” Harry sighs from somewhere behind him. He sounds miserable, like he’s already feeling the cold.

Louis whirls around and points a finger at him. “Did you plan this?” he demands a little hysterically. He regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but he thinks he’s got a valid point. It’s not like this storm just came out of nowhere - it has to have been on the news for a couple of days, at least. Plenty of time for Harry to have canceled this excursion.

3) I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound | Explicit | 10452 words

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible.

4) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

5) Cuffed | Not Rated | 15254 words

What would you do if you were handcuffed to your enemy for 48 hours?

6) Up For It | Explicit | 18223 words

The one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

7) Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) | Not Rated | 18417 words | Sequel

Note: This fic has no smut, but it has omega Louis. The sequel has smut.

The one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

8) The Aurora Zone | Explicit | 19633 words

The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

9) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

10) Etched In Salt (Is A Cathedral Of The World) | Explicit | 24417 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions. It is also locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

11) Like A Siren In The Night | Explicit | 25868 words

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

12) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

13) We’re Not Who We Used To Be | Explicit | 30611 words

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit.

14) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

15) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32584 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Playing To Win | Explicit | 36732 words

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

19) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

20) The Space Between | Explicit | 39917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

21) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) No Going Back | Explicit | 56102 words

Sales reps Harry and Louis are bored with their jobs and their lives. After meeting at a conference in Cardiff they hook up, have a few too many drinks, and jokingly apply to become remote lighthouse keepers. Six months, just the two of them, looking after the southernmost lighthouse off the bottom of Australia. It’s not like their applications will be accepted. Right?

This is the story of how one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

24) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

25) Swallow The Knife | Explicit | 76158 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

26) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

27) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

28) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Mature | 102528 words

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[precious-whumps]

a rokka no yuusha/braves of the six flowers whump summary

hey all, i didn’t know there was such a thing as whumplr until recently. my excitement is immeasurable and my day is made, and i thought it’d be fun to join the community with this offering~

i see that y’all know about rokka and gif the boy a lot, but it seems like most don’t even know about anything that came after the anime. i was so obsessed with the characters and the story that i purchased the light novels and was not disappointed — at least on the whump front. the books are kinda pricey since barnes and noble was the only retailer i found that had it and the author never continued after volume 6, so if you happened to want to know the whumpy details, i’ve got them for you right c’here.

be warned though! there’s major spoilers from this, not limited to the identity of the seventh and the climax to the first (lol only...) main conflict since context, at least for me, adds everything to the moment. i also don’t have the books with me, so the descriptions here are just off the top of my head. small plot details might be wrong. once i get my books out of storage, i’m happy to post excerpts if anyone’s interested in that :)

alrighty so vol 2 picks up right after the end of the anime. the braves make it into the howling vilelands (book translation, i can’t remember what they called it in the anime), but they’re soon accosted by tgurneu. adlet has this spike thing with crystallized saint blood on the tip. after some desperate fighting and help from hans and mora, he manages to get close enough to stab tgurneu with it. the beautiful dumbass just stands there though, watching, waiting for that sweet sweet vengeance. tgurneu looks up at him and says, “are you seriously trying to kill me?” then, lightning fast and with inhuman strength, he punches adlet square in the face. the hit fractures his skull, knocking him out instantly, and sends him flying into the woods. he rolls and hits a tree i think. fremy screams for him :’c

mora gets to him first. i definitely remember that she feels his neck for breaks. it might have been my imaginings, but i’m pretty sure she pulls his arm across her shoulder and carries him in a semicircle around tgurneu who hasn’t died yet. hans comes up and takes adlet from her, saying he’ll get everyone to the next checkpoint which is a cave that has a special protective barrier the saint of the single flower made however long ago it was. he runs with both adlet and chamo (who’s been poisoned) on his shoulders all the way there. tough kitty. the others catch up eventually ‘cause they were dealing with more fiends attacking them and having trust arguments with each other, fremy and mora specifically with fremy ending it by outright saying that she’s worried about adlet. at the cave, they’ve laid him down by the spring, and mora heals him with the power of the mountain since bones aren’t rolonia’s forte. he’s still unconscious for a few more hours, until evening i think. she notes his resilience when he wakes up.

this volume also introduced me to the joys of hans whump..he gets my absolute favorite kind here. it’s revealed that tgurneu got to mora some years before, threatening to murder her young daughter if she doesn’t kill “at least one brave.” but she’s smart and dedicated, so she recruited rolonia, trained her to be both a strong enough fighter to be chosen as a brave, but also to be an insanely powerful healer too, because mora’s plan is to kill a brave to free the daughter but then immediately have rolonia resurrect them. she’d decided to use adlet since he was both healthy (had the best chances of being revived) and the easiest for her to deal with (lol), but there’s a hiccup in her attempt to separate him from the group. she ends up with hans instead because he sensed something was fishy, wanted to scope the situation out himself. it’s too late to fix it, so she fights her little heart out with him, finally managing to get a solid, heavy punch to his chest, stopping his own heart. she collapses from the licks he got on her and has to drag herself to his body. she pricks his jugular, all the while rolonia’s freaking out cause she wasn’t in on the plan, and the rest of the team swarms them. mora just yells at rolonia to pump hans’ spilled blood until his heart starts up again even as the others are yelling at her, believing she’s the seventh. i think adlet gathers the situation a bit and kneels by hans’ side across from rolonia, asks her if she needs him to do anything. i don’t remember the dialogue exchange, i just know that he’s holding hans as he comes back to life, and the poor guy, this hardened, i-ain’t-scare-of-no-things assassin, touches his neck where he was pricked, then starts screaming from the realization that he was dead. i love it. i’m so unbelievably salty we didn’t at least get the second season for this scene alone.

oh i also remember a flashback scene from when adlet met rolonia on atro’s mountain, it might’ve been in this book. it was one night, after a long day of struggling just to get nowhere with his training, he lamented that he was born a man, meaning he could never be a saint and have the power he needed to get revenge for his village. rolonia had her own issues at the time too, mainly that she didn’t want to be a saint, so the two ended up sobbing together all night.

~

vol 3 didn’t have a whole lot of…anything really. it was mostly goldov’s backstory (he takes a beating, i think, with nashe by his side for a little bit while he’s recovering) and the braves running around in circles like idiots trying to find nashetania. she loses her arm *shrug*. i guess i can say this one was important since it was showing the first signs of adlet’s strong man veneer cracking. boy’s getting stressed out by this whole leadership thing.

~

vol 4 also didn’t have much physical whump, but the emotional is pretty nice. it’s actually my fave in the series because it made me cry ;-;

the braves push deeper into the vilelands and come across the ruins of human villages. now, there’s a fiend with the special ability to implant parasites into the brain stem of humans and control them. they can still be ‘alive’ even after they should be dead, like this small army of zombies have long since starved to death, but their minds are sort of still there. and one of them just so happens to be adlet’s childhood friend rainer, the kid that he thought died with his sister. rainer heard information from the fiends that he knows the braves need, so most of the book is him trying find a way to tell them. he’s not able to until the very end as he’s lying in the woods, dying for real and singing a song from their village because it’s the last thing he can think of. he sort of recognizes adlet, saying, “you look like someone i know,” just before he’s gone. hans tells adlet it’s okay to cry if he needs to, and he’s all, ‘no i’m fine, we need to go.’ he takes a few steps away then stops and says, “actually, hold on,” then “presses his face to a tree trunk and weeps.”

~

vol 5…i gotta admit, i honestly don’t remember this one very well. adlet gets “beat to a bloody pulp,” but i can’t visualize it since some of the plot was hard to follow, and he’s honestly had worse already so i was barely registering it. the braves suspect him again of being the seventh, and real evidence comes forth showing that he likely is, and fremy tries to kill herself to protect the braves? like it’s just a big dramatic thing. so it’s kinda half revealed that tgurneu, who ~somehow~ still isn’t dead, has some kind of control over adlet involving ~the power of looove~, and it’s starting to be more clear that he has an unnatural compulsion to protect fremy. so like, yeah, he’s having to do a bunch of shit to stop her from killing herself, stop the braves from trying to help her with that, and stop them from suspecting him. i think fremy shoots him in the leg? i legitimately cannot recall. i do remember that he finally manages to craft a lie that convinces them that hans is the seventh and that fremy doesn’t have to kill herself, that her death might actually hurt them. she’s kneeling on the ground for some reason, he runs over to her, just stands there again looking at her, asks if she’s okay. she feels bad about him being injured and gently places her hands on his torso to keep him steady. it’s a super sweet image to me, yeet. he drinks some potion thing goldov uses to keep pain at bay with the warning that he’ll “be in hell once it wears off.” that’s all i got for this one, sorry >.<

~

and finally vol 6. it’s fully revealed that yeah, tgurneu is mind controlling him to love fremy so that she can fulfill her engineered purpose (she wasn’t aware of it. she’s such a brilliant, sweet girl, i love her so much), which is to drain the magic from the braves’ crests while they’re in the vilelands. of course, this will kill them as soon as the protection from the land’s poison is gone. so adlet’s for sure the seventh but he never knew it until now (or he didn’t accept it, i think he did realize it back in 5). his entire life was manipulated for this scenario. most of his POV in the book is his mental breakdown dealing with all of this. like he tries to force himself to stop loving fremy and being willing to betray his friends and destroy the world for her, but he just can’t shake the control, making him cry again from the stress.

at some point, he and hans are cornered by tgurneu’s special forces. they’d reverted to enemies after the previous book’s shenanigans but when hans realizes what’s going on in adlet’s head, he feels bad for him. adlet doesn’t do much fighting, leaving hans to deal with it. “not an inch of his skin is clean of blood” as this fight goes on. later, to keep adlet from causing any problems, tgurneu has one of the big fiends swallow him. he’s stuck in there a good while with its weird prehensile organ cinched around his throat and the potion wearing off.

finally towards the end with the rest of the braves coming to the rescue, he finds the will to escape and attack tgurneu, thanks to some clever situation-manipulation by mora once again.

a good slash to hans’ gut takes him out. adlet holds him again for a minute before chamo has one of her swamp fiends also swallow him for safe keeping lol.

oh i should probably mention that the prologue for this one showed a younger adlet still in training with atro. he’s told to ‘surprise me or gtfo’ because up to this point, he’s shown zero promise or skill, relying only on his need for vengeance. this is when he’s first given the saint blood spike, and it’s also shown that this was when the love spell took effect - a dream about a girl he doesn’t know but wants to protect at all costs. he has to figure out how to use the weapon in a way that no fiend would see coming. so he holds it up and stabs his own chest.

now back to his final battle with tgurneu. he conveniently had two spikes only, used one already that didn’t work because tgurneu is actually a fig-tree thing that controls any fiend that like..vores him, so the saint blood only killed his meatsuit before (he’s now in a large bird-like one). adlet knows he won’t get another lucky stab in, so he lets tgurneu rip his stomach open. he slips the crystal from the second spike into the wound, then grabs tgurneu by the face. his now toxic non-saint blood bubbles up into his throat. tgurneu, ridiculous fool that he is, can only watch dumbfounded as adlet pries his beak open and spits a mouthful of that blood into him. it reaches the fig portion of his body, killing the new meatsuit and forcing him to retreat. he’s helpless like this. adlet only has to go pick him up, tear the fruit-body apart to reach the fiend’s core. adlet stands there, holding the core in his palm. it’s occurring to him that everything he’s become is about to be gone because the love spell was the only reason he became the strongest man in the world. then he crushes the core and collapses, half dead.

fremy goes to him and tries to treat his wounds, but his blood burns her hands. the fiend army is still bearing down on them, so she wraps him in her cloak and carries him on her back herself to the next safe zone. at some point, he wakes up a little bit while they’re still running. his mind is so scrambled, and he feels an indescribable terror that knocks him back out. five hours pass, and when he wakes up to the others arguing about what they should do with him, he finds that he doesn’t feel anything for fremy anymore. he looks at her sitting next to him, says her name like three times, but he can’t summon back that love he felt so strongly.

hans is just in the background sleeping off the second healing session he must’ve had with rolonia. everyone’s pretty worn to the bone.

and that’s basically it. there’s cliffhanger plot stuff that i’m sad i’ll probably never see developed further. oof not to mention the destruction of adlet’s character and his romance with fremy. i can only assume yamagata-sensei intended to rebuild it in the next arc considering tgurneu truly believed that adlet’s capable of achieving the impossible. but yeah, i’ll compile some excerpts for y’all when i can xx

[foureoreos]

oh please do delve deeper into why you think nya is not suited for romance (or at least the way she is written). I do think that jaya sometimes have cute scenes BUT Jay's desperateness ruined them for me. plus I feel like nya is not stupid. if she genuinely liked Jay she wouldn't have let a machine decide she is not compatible with him anymore which honestly makes me believe she just stopped liking him after s2.

Aight, let’s start this, shall we?

I’m really trying here not to turn this into a “why I don’t like ja/ya” answer, but it’s going to be a wee bit difficult to do if I don’t pull examples from that relationship. I’m also going to try really hard not to throw bias in here since I love bruiseshipping, but I will need it at some points to compare and contrast my different points and thoughts to make things clearer/better.

First, I want to start by saying that I’ve run into many people who tell me and mutuals things like “Wow, seriously? You’re still thinking about that? That was in the past, you gotta move on!” or “Look at Skybound again”. This is when I talk about both why ja/ya has been dragged on for so long and why Nya just doesn’t fit right into the whole romance subplot.

Well, buddy, call it what you want, but you can’t just base something off one point in time. Events like these carry over. That’s also what helps build relationships and gives them a stronger foundation.

i.e. How Jay and Cole, after making up during the Tournament of Elements, still continue to progress and develop their relationship. It actually got to the point where the character’s chemistry feels natural and very casual, almost to the point where the characters could write themselves.

For instance, we all remember that love triangle, right? I know people use the excuse “Nya is a teenager, she’s just acting like one” whenever she’s a b**ch or acts out very impulsively around Jay, but frankly, I think otherwise. Her character is really inconsistent throughout the series. There’s some moments when she’s likable and you can get behind her, but other times when she’s just straight up obnoxious.

She’s only nice to Jay whenever the plot calls for her relationship with him. Aka, ja/ya. When the plot doesn’t, she can be really mean and it feels like a complete one-sided relationship, because she acts like she just doesn’t care. And Jay loves and supports her like 24/7. (Also, ja/ya is really only developed one Jay’s end of the relationship? Very rarely or EVER Nya’s. What’s with that?)

Here’s where I point out how she contradicts herself in S3 and S6. Season 3, Rebooted, Nya lets a “match-maker machine” decide for her who her perfect match is. And while she was already dating Jay at that time, she still went ahead anyways to give Cole a shot, just because a machine told her he was the one. Okay. Can I add that she never apologized to Jay for what she did? Like, never explicitly told him that she started the whole mess? That she was the one who cheated on him?

Also, remember in Season 4 when she was telling Wu, “Jay’s funny and all but Cole, Cole’s not Jay…” (thanks to @afrenchfrypassingby for pointing this out to me)? So, what is Jay then? Or do you just have a very poor way with words?

Anyways, so, Season 6. I can’t remember the last time I ever watched this season. Must have been like years ago, because I always skip it in my Ninjago rewatches. Still, I remember a lot of things from that season. Especially when Nya told Jay that “Hey, when I first met you, I knew we were meant to be together”.

Well, hmm. Ah? Okay?

Can we rewind Season 6 a bit more?

I actually liked her at the beginning of Season 6. Only the beginning.

She wanted to be more than just “the girl ninja”, “Kai’s sister”, and “Jay’s girlfriend”. She wanted to find her own identity. And girl, I can 100% get behind that. Plus, she was basically forced to give up her Samurai X identity to become a water ninja. But then I don’t know what the hell happened that made her decide at the end, “I’m Jay’s girlfriend again”. And before anyone says anything about the lighthouse scene, etc. what she did in the end completely defeats everything she clearly wanted at the beginning of the season.

Follow up that Jay was a complete creep in that season. I know it gave him more development to his character and helped him to be more confident and have that “If I want it, I’ll take it” attitude, but the girl said “No” at the beginning and he was?? just?? so desperate to win her back and get the two of them back together? Ugh, that’s not how you write relationships, folks. When someone says “no”, that doesn’t mean “try again”.

Haha, my mind just did a flashback to that one line from Prime Empire when she told Jay she and him had chemistry. That was a lie. If anything, Nya and Ronin actually have more chemistry. And Jay and Cole have more chemistry.

I truly believe that from the beginning of this show, Nya was meant to be written as the “strong, independent, female character that could take care of herself”. But the writer’s try way too hard when they write her character.

If I’m being honest, Pixal actually shows that better. Not to mention Pixal can also be very feminine and still be a cool girl.

Strong female characters don’t have to be buff, they don’t have to want to be irritated by relationships or feeling like it pulls them down (not @ how Jay has said to Nya “I love you” over a thousand times and never once has Nya said it back because she doesn’t like showing affection because it distorts her image. When Zane and Pixal have said it to each other and show a very mutual, loving relationship), they don’t have to dislike “girly” things, and whatnot.

Strong female characters can be compassionate and kind. They can be badass and still care for other people. They can be in a relationship and still be powerful. They can show weakness and affection and emotion.

From the very beginning the writers pulled out the compulsive heterosexuality card and decided “Okay, we have one boy, one girl, let’s just put them together because yeah”. And then they started doing that with everyone else. Kai and Skylor, Pixal and Zane (though, not going to lie, is the only well developed canonical Ninjago romance). What a shame, honestly, because Lloyd and Harumi actually could have been really well developed if it weren’t for the whole “I want to kill you and bring back your dead father” abusive relationship. And, I don’t want to shame you for shipping Lloyd and Akita because I don’t care if you do, but they really had to make her go and kiss Lloyd at the end of the season huh? I personally feel like it was more a “thank you” kiss after some thought, but hah, you just can’t leave a girl alone for one second, can you, writers? And oh my gosh that subtle look between Lloyd and Racer 7 at the end of Season 12?? I got so scared. WOW.

I went OFF. And I don’t want to go any further because it will be so bitter and salty and I will rip her and everything about Ninjago canonical romances APART. But yeah!! This is all I will leave for you :)

Thanks for that ask!

[starlight-ascension]

PreCures and If They Would Survive A Horror Movie

Nagisa: would survive. She’s the most competent pink cure both on and off the battlefield, she will destroy the villain and look badass doing it. 

Honoka: Her science stuff probably created the bad guy in the first place when it went haywire. And since she would know how to defeat the villain, she would have to die early on for there to be a horror movie at all. 

Hikari: Absolutely would not survive. All she does is stand there and sometimes freeze the enemy in place for two seconds. She only transforms when reminded to. Also she’s a blonde and horror villains always go for blondes. There’s no way she’d live. Hikari would stand there frozen in place and scream until she dies gruesomely. 

Saki: I don’t know but nagisa survives so i’m gonna say saki does too. 

Mai: also don’t know. i’mma say no. 

Nozomi: Would not survive. There is no way nozomi would make it out. 

Rin: Would survive. After watching Nozomi die, Rin would go full-on enraged feral jock, transform, and set the villain on fire. 

Urara: Would not survive. She’d probably go right into the dark place and do the thing where you spot the villain with your flashlight and dismiss it before doing a major double take but now it’s right behind you. 

Komachi: Would survive, all the way. She reads a lot so she knows her way around how to survive these things. She writes a lot so she knows shady topics and would think of or know things that if she didn’t know, the whole team would be screwed. And she’s a walking weapon of mass destruction on top of all that. 

Karen: She’s hiding in a secret fortified bunker right now with bodyguards and lots of entertainment. She would survive. 

Kurumi: Would not survive. When she reverts to fairy form against her own will, the bad guy would pick her up and throw her into some mechanical thing that grinds her up alive and is the main reason for the R rating. 

Love: Would last 5 minutes. Seriously, in the first episode she got lost and saw a creepy house in the woods that wasn’t there before and what does she do? SHE GOES IN. If that were a horror movie, she’d be a redshirt designed to be killed off in the first few minutes for the purpose of introducing us to the bad guy and showing how dangerous it is. 

Miki: Would survive. Miki has gone up against a villain who came straight out of the horror genre (Northa) and survived. Another horror villain would be no problem. Unless it’s hide time and she can’t hide properly because she’s so tall. 

Inori: Might survive. Might end up dying so that the cat in the movie doesn’t. 

Setsuna: Setsuna has lived through a horror movie (episode 40 of fresh precure). She’s dealt with some serious heck. She will absolutely survive a horror movie. 

Tsubomi: All Tsubomi would do is run. Thankfully, she’s not clumsy like some pinks, and would probably actually manage to make it out by running away. 

Erika: Would survive. Erika cannot be killed. 

Itsuki: This girl knows martial arts. She fought off a giant monster because it ripped a plushie she thought was cute. Horror villains should be scared of Itsuki. 

Yuri: ABSOLUTELY would survive. Did you see her take out an entire group of Sunackies in civilian form? She’s a genius, a badass, and would survive a horror movie hands-down. 

Hibiki: Would survive 

Kanade: Would survive, but only because Crescendo Tone can bring people back to life. 

Ellen: Would survive. Remember how she trolled some villains who were trying to scare her? She’d do the same thing. Except it’s also leading the bad guy into a death trap. 

Ako: She’s that little girl who befriends the ghosts or whatever and talks about them casually in a scary way and then either becomes possessed, helps the villain kill everyone else, or just skip ropes on the playground singing terrifying versions of nursery rhymes. She survives, obviously. Forming an alliance with the villains can help you with that. 

Miyuki: Would not survive. The reason for this is that by the time she realizes what genre she’s actually in, it would be too late for her already. 

Akane: Would survive. Arson queen with the makings of a genderflipped shonen protag and super strength even by precure standards? She will destroy the bad guys. 

Yayoi: Would survive. She watches enough anime and toku, reads enough manga and comic books, and plays enough video games to know everything about how to survive a horror movie. Also, she likes ghost stories. She ABSOLUTELY would catch on right away that she’s in a horror movie and maybe even fangirl over the villain a little. 

Nao: Would be the only one to realize THE MAGIC TELEPORTING BOOKSHELF and escape. 

Reika: Similar to Miki and Setsuna, Reika has gone up against a villain who’s scary enough to be in horror, in this case Joker. And she has won. Several times. Reika would absolutely survive. What’s another horror villain? 

Mana: Would sacrifice herself to save her team. 

Rikka: Would not survive. She’d obtain information and realize a way to defeat the villain that would 100% work, which means that while she’s explaining it, she’d be killed mid-sentence. 

Alice: Would ABSOLUTELY survive. She has a freaking SPACE SHUTTLE, her place is full of traps and secret tunnels, she’s one of the most badass and terrifying cures, AND both she and her butler are Batman. Alice is by far the most likely precure to survive a horror movie. 

Makoto: Did the sensible thing and hid out with Alice. Is currently hanging out in a secret room with protection, every light on, and her back to the wall so she can’t be ambushed from behind, watching willcraft monster school on her phone on silent. 

Aguri: Dies of overconfidence. 

Regina: Is the one to kill the villain. 

Megumi: She would transform and be like “AW YEAH I GET TO BATTLE SOMETHING” and then obliterate the villain, surviving the movie in the process. Unless she tried to form change. If she used her dance attacks, she’d be stabbed or dismembered or eaten while she’s charging up her attack. 

Hime: Survives the movie itself. Is killed after the credits to show that the villain isn’t really dead and set up a sequel. 

Yuko: First one on the team to die. 

Iona: Would definitely survive. She’s the only one on her team who’s 100% cool with doing what it takes to defeat the bad guys and she’s a badass. 

Maria: Did you see the time she took out 4 monsters at once? She would survive. 

Haruka: Like with most pinks, Haruka would probably not survive. 

Minami: Would stand there screaming until she gets stabbed. 

Kirara: Same deal as Erika. 

Towa: She’s a fire cure. Fire often works against these guys. But they have no compulsion about attacking someone while she’s preparing her drawn-out attack sequence, and the extreme impracticality of her outfit could end up killing her. It’s around 50/50 for Towa. 

Mirai: Would last 20 minutes if she’s lucky. She’s probably the one who read the creepy old book out loud and released the demon/monster/whatever. 

Riko: Has enough knowledge of the supernatural to know how to defeat the thing Mirai summoned. Is targeted as a result. Eventually dies directly after a jumpscare. Is brought back to life by Kotoha. 

Kotoha: She’s a literal goddess and she’s got the strongest magic of anyone ever. She will survive without question. 

Ichika: Hate to say this, but she would probably not survive. *begins sobbing at the thought of my precious daughter dying in a horror movie* 

Himari: Would also probably die. But would last for far longer than Ichika. 

Aoi: Would power through an otherwise fatal injury and somehow survive something that definitely should have killed her, because she needs to write a song about this. 

Yukari: Old enough to drive. Smart enough to check the back seat. 

Akira: Sits in the passenger seat as the two floor it. Checks under the car for villains while Yukari is watching her back. 

Ciel: Switches to fairy form and flies so high the villains can’t get her. 

Pikario: Gets run over by Yukari and Akira. 

Hana: Survives the first half of the movie. Dies when she runs upstairs instead of outside. 

Saaya: She spent an entire night just watching horror movies once and now she knows everything about how to survive them. Makes it out alive. 

Homare: Survives

Emiru: Is hiding in a security bunker

Ruru: Is hiding with Emiru

Hikaru: She’s really into cryptids and occult stuff, so she knows their weaknesses, and survives the whole movie as a result. Probably hits on the monster at least once. 

Lala: Runs right into her spaceship and gets TF out of there. 

Elena: Holds out for a good amount of time. Then her phone rings while she’s hiding. 

Madoka: Made it onto the spaceship with Lala. 

Yuni: Uses her shapeshifting perfume to disguise herself as a corpse version of herself. Successfully tricks the bad guy into thinking she’s dead. 

Nodoka: Passes out, dies first. 

Chiyu: Survives 

Hinata: Would not survive. She’s too much of a hot mess to last in a horror movie. 

Asumi: Would die if she remained untransformed. If she transformed, she would survive hands-down. 

[justkimberley]

HSMTMTS Thoughts Episode 7

Episode 1   Episode 2    Episode 3   Episode 4   Episode 5  Episode 6

This one is also kinda long (~2200 words)

Nini and Ricky doing a fantastic job harmonizing in Start of Something New

the dance routine around them is absolutely crazy and all over the place

So it seems that Seb is just their resident piano player (side note, who ended up getting Kelsey??)

Big Red with the flashlight trying so hard to keep it on the disco ball

EJ interrupting because of the bell. Does anyone really love Thanksgiving that much??

Also I always forget that American Thanksgiving is like a month later than Canadian Thanksgiving and I was hella confused for a second.

Ricky is so surprised that Nini is complimenting him

Ashlyn as Robotics Team captain! (side note Big Red gives her an impressed look after he overhears that she’s the captain)

Also: debate team, baking club, high priestess of the Renaissance Faire

We love a multifaceted lady

Miss Jenn/Mr. Mazzarra trying to have a ‘my horse is bigger than your horse’ banter except neither of them have the horses they claim to have

“With whoever could possibly love you,” lol ok Miss Jenn went for the head

“Late night party” - party starts at 8 that’s adorable

“Small group or…” “PARTY AT ASHLYN’S HOUSE!”

It’s really interesting learning about Nini’s Lola (? I think that’s how it’s spelled, which is what I believe Filipino people call their grandmother’s), and her story

I’m just really proud of Ricky’s Dad. Like he was in such a bad place 2-3 episodes ago and now he’s taking care of himself and Ricky (even if it isn’t a grandiose Thanksgiving) he’s trying and I think he’s doing great

“We roll hard” I just really love this line

“I suppose if you’re lonely, you could always just… randomly text my drama teacher,” “Too soon… RIck,” “... yeah okay”

That was pretty funny. Also, it seems like Ricky’s okay with his dad dating?

Ricky’s mom waiting for him to call

I don’t know how I feel about this to be honest. I feel like maybe she should have tried to call him first and then if he didn’t answer or want to talk to her, that she should wait for him to make the next move then.

EJ’s truth arc is very funny to me

Big Red and Ashlyn

“I promise not to steal your phone if you promise not to throw a basketball at my face,” “No, the only thing I’d ever throw at your face is a brighter spotlight cause, I like the way you sing

Oof they’re so cute, we love little crushes

Also this might be an unpopular opinion but y’all need to calm down about the whole ‘Ashlyn and Big Red are GAY and they only THINK theyy like each other’ thing. #1 It was never confirmed for them to be gay. #2 You can still have wlw and mlm head-cannons for them! Bi, Pan, and other multiple gender attraction oriented people exist, even if you forget about us sometimes.

They are a cute little pairing of people who are always looking out and taking care of other people. It’s okay for them to do things for themselves.

Ricky debating calling his mom, it took a lot of courage and then Todd picks up.

Hangs up immediately, it almost looked like he was going to have a panic attack. That would be so hard, such an extreme shift

I guess the reason he was more okay with his Dad dating was that his Dad was open and honest with him about it. Calling your Mom only to find out that she has a boyfriend that a. She never told you about b. He knows about you and c. is trusted enough to be left alone with her phone while she showers? Is a lot, and probably means that she started dating him before the split was official.

Ricky going to call Nini and then deciding against it. Why doesn’t he feel like he can talk to Big Red about this kind of stuff? Why does he always go to Nini first?

Gina shows up, those are good looking cupcakes

She made him a hat!

She looks so hesitant before she gives it to him!

Gina’s like ‘look dude, I know something’s wrong, spill the beans’

Ignore it and push through - I understand where she’s coming from but you really shouldn’t ignore your problems, it usually just makes them worse

“Do what makes you happy,” “... Give me that hat,”

Adorable, also do what makes you happy is good advice so we’re a little all over the map here

“That’s too big,” “I’ll grow into it,” (adorable)

Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzarra’s whole interaction is hilarious.

Don’t burn down my shop! - holy shit, foreshadowing buddies

Ashlyn is so cute! She’s so happy when people compliment her

“I highly recommend not telling someone you love them for the first time on instagram” - yup! That’s what I said in the first one of these I did.

Carlos - “The party may begin!” - I totally thought he said “The party made me gay,” the first time I watched it so uhh yeah

Big Red is lactose intolerant

Carlos’ board game is amazing

“High School Musical the Choosical,” - fantastic name

Everyone is so accepting

Ashlyn and Big Red choosing to be on the same team

“South Side Knights -” “It’s the West High Nights,” “the West High Knights”

Ej is like a compulsive truther now. And it’s kind of hilarious

His face when he says “She laughed!” is hilarious and kind of adorable

“I gotta go join the party, and admit some terrible things, you ladies, catch up!” - I wish we got to see what he was admitting to, I find this whole thing quite funny

I’m glad that Emily and Nini got some reconciliation, I know Nini felt guilty even though it wasn’t her fault

That is not a good cockney accent

Why did Ricky enter alone when him and Gina walked together?

And he left her to open the door on her own with all those cupcakes?

“Buddies,” “We,”

Ricky and Gina both laughing about YouTube, cuties

Look, feelings are feelings and you can’t help what you feel, but pushing someone away and insisting to remain only friends means that you shouldn’t be upset when he makes a new friend

Mr. Mazzara and Miss Jenn

The plug socket is in the frame, more foreshadowing

“He won’t.. Not… fall” this show loves it’s double negatives huh? I don’t not love you, he won’t not fall etc.

“Ok but the center of gravity is off,” YES to different kinds of intelligence being helpful in fields other than the main one people associate them with

Carlos thinking people are going to keep judging him and the theater people being as accepting as possible

EJ is a gleek

What I’ve Been Looking For to the rhythm of Get Your Head in the Game is hard! (Catch me on the piano later trying to figure it out lol)

It just turns into a terrible rap

EJ - “That was terrible,” Seb -  “I’m so happy”

EJ vs. Ricky - “without laughing… or killing each other,”

This is a good parallel to the basketball scene, once again they get kind of aggressive, but this time they also joke around and no one gets hurt

Also I would love to see them become friends, I mean they both need to grow a little before that happens, but I have hopes

They missed the ‘neeee howww’ part of it, I really wanted to hear them do the high voices

EJ’s little “mehh” that sounds like a duck kills me everytime

Gina and Nini awkwarddd

“I do have high hopes for a junior year at East High” oof babey :(

“It must be nice sometimes though, right?” - nini does not understand

This actually gives us an insight as to why they don’t understand each other. Nini would love nothing more than to start a new life with no drama and Gina would love nothing more than to have a life that lasts longer than a couple months before being restarted.

Gina/Nini apology very exciting, hopefully they can actually become friends

“It’s all good,” from Nini seemed disingenuous, I don’t know if it’s because of the Wonderstudy thing or the Ricky thing. 

The sleepover thing I was so worried that it would be a mean spirited thing but I’m so glad it wasn’t

Nini sits on Ricky’s lap when she goes back to the game room and I don’t know if it’s intentional or not but it’s kind of like she’s trying to lay her claim back on Ricky.

Gina looks so happy when a. Carlos calls her in and b. the happy dance about the sleepover! (why’d they have to ruin the happiness??)

Mr. Mazarra returning the favour

“It’s beautiful,” “Math often is,” dudde I feel you I fucking love math

“I cannot stress to you enough how uncomfortable that would make me feel,”

“You know what we should do?” “Break off eye contact sometime soon?”

I’m dying

“It’s about a robot!” this is… pretty adorable. She just wants to make a genuine connection with him

Also are they going to do a romance route with these two? Because I can see them setting it up but also imagine if they just become like… best friends? I feel like they’d be unstoppable.

Musical Choosical Handbook of Rulesicals

“I thought you had never actually played this with people-” “Honey not today of all days,”

Carlos and Seb are the only couple with no bad drama and I’m living for it (please let them just stay happy)

Oops! I knew that jersey question… also it’s definitely the answer Big Red would now because he’s only watched the movie with no words (at his allergists office)

“And do people usually talk like that?” “No they do not.” - gold

EJ the compulsive cheater and also compulsive truther makes a comeback (I seriously find this so funny I don’t know why)

“I love to pop and lock and jam and break,” oh GIna

She’s so happy about winning

Not realistic, you know that the second she called her mom at least someone would be like “pass the weed,” (you know because friends are awesome and also terrible)

“Can you take me off speaker”

Some people are like ‘oh no is she in trouble?’

I kind of hate that it looks like Nini looks sort of happy about Gina’s mom asking her to take her off speaker - I really don’t want Nini to turn into a catty person.

Ricky is concerned

Why did her mom tell her this right now? She should have waited until the next morning, like that wouldn’t have hurt anyone and it would have let them form stronger bonds. And Gina would have had her first sleepover and also they might form strong enough bonds to try and stay in contact with her

Ricky is worried for her, he’s like, ‘You made me feel better, so I’ll go make you feel better’

Nini’s looking upset that Ricky’s being emotionally aware for once? Like dude, he’s grown up a lot since BEFORE summer break? That’s like six months ago I think at this point?

Ricky just wants to help Gina feel better because she made him feel better

She doesn’t understand that they can stay friends even if she leaves and I just :(

“Please don’t do that” he’s so overwhelmed

“My mom moved out two weeks ago and she’s already got a new boyfriend, sound familiar?” Oooh low blow Ricky bud.

“Really don’t need advice from a .. buddy right now,”

Ok but then who does Ricky want advice from? I’m so confused. This boy needs to get a better support system and learn how to use it. Romantic relationships should not be your only outlet for your problems.

Red and Ashlyn

“I hope Gina’s gonna be okay,” - Big Red is so sweet!

They’re so cute

“Hey Big Red? Don’t forget your dip,” - oh she was so going to ask him out and then lost the nerve

Write something for yourself.

It’s a hard thing to do, dude. It’s also hard to let yourself feel so vulnerable, even if it’s only you that’s going to hear it

Gina packing, I feel so sad for her, she’s finally made some good friends and now she has to leave again. She kept the badge! :( 

EJ losing followers and being cancelled, at least we know why now

It seems like a lot of EJ’s self worth comes from how others think of him. So losing followers is probably a pretty big hit. I wonder if he’ll keep going with his whole truth thing when it has these consequences or if he’ll just go back to what he was doing before. I hope that he has a positive arc but, will it go downhill from here? I hope not.

Ricky about to apologise to Nini (why did he erase it, he probably should have sent that) - side note: their conversation before was them asking each other if they were going to the party

It’s interesting that Nini had pictures of EJ and Ricky up still

Gina’s crying face is making me cry

“Hey mom, it’s me, I miss you so much,” tears

Nini hanging up pictures of her grandma and the musical. She’s really trying to move forward from boys huh?

Is nini going to apply to the theater school??

Electrical fire???????? WHy??

[blacckestrose]

50 QUESTIONS

I was tagged to this in Facebook and I never really use Facebook and I really don't want to tag there anyone to this, but here again is a lot of people I would like to know better, so I annoy you by this long question tag. 😂

1. What colours is your hairbrush?

Black

2. What food would you never eat?

Slugs or bugs over all, dogs, liver...

3. Are you usually hot or cold?

I'm 24/7 cold, I have two sweaters on, I have my fluffy socks on and lots of blankets when I'm watching the TV

4. What did you do 45 minutes ago?

I cooked some noodles for me, I'm learning how to eat other than just sushi with sticks

5. Favourite chocolate?

Finnish milk chocolate, if you haven't tried it yet: W H Y

6. Have you ever been at a professional sports event?

Yess, I was in Brussels at Diamonds League event in 2015, then we have gone to several ice hockey games with my dad

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Try to convince dad to get a dog

8. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Vanilla or pear, lemon is also so gooooood

9. What was the last thing you drank?

Rasberry juice

10. What kind of wallet do you have?

Koya cardholder 💜

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Noodles 😂

12. Did you buy clothes last weekend?

Thank god no, I cannot afford spend my money now on anything stupid

13. What was the last sports event you saw?

There was biathlon competition at my city couple of weeks ago but I watched it on TV

14. Favourite snacks?

Oat chips, yes I like old peoples food don't @ me

15. Who was the last one you texted to?

Deniiiii 💜

16. Do you like camping?

Well it depends, if you can promise me there won't be any spiders or any snakes and there won't get cold and I can get comfortable, I can think about it

17. Do you eat vitamins?

Everyday, girl needs her vitamins to stay healthy 👏

18. When was the last time you travelled?

November 2019

19. Do you like sunbathing?

You know I would, but I do not tan, I burn. And it doesn't matter if I swam in the sun cream, I burn. So no.

20. Asian or Italian food?

THIS IS LIKE A SOPHIES CHOICE omgomgomg.... I can't answer I need both in me

21. Do you drink soda?

Too much

22. What colour socks are you wearing now?

Grey

23. When was the last time you were speeding?

Probably the last time I drove a car. Do not tell the police but I like to drive fast. I'm an excellent driver though so trust me, I know what I'm doing ok

24. What are you afraid of?

Spiders, like seriously, if I found now spider in my apartment I'd move to streets cause I'm alone here

25. What can you see if you turn left?

Window and from there I can actually see someone's dog fled from the leash and they are desperately trying to catch her... 😂

26. What kind of housework you like the least?

Doing the dishes

27. What is the first thing you think of when you hear someone talking in a language you don't know?

I'm interested what the language is but that's about it

28. Do you sleep on your back or side?

Depends

29. You crave fast food, where do you go?

I call my fave sushi place to bring me some sushi

30. What is your lucky number?

9

31. Who was the last person you talked to?

Mom and my sister, dad was there somewhere too but he really doesn't talk

32. Do you eat meat?

Yes but not red meat usually, reindeer and moose is exception, and sometimes beef

33. What was the last song you listened?

Anpanman - BTS

34. Last book?

How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions - Edna B. Foa & Reid Wilson

35. What is your favourite day of the week?

Thursday, cause then it's only one day for the weekend 😍

36. Do you know the alphabet song backwards?

No way, and I won't even try to learn

37. Favourite coffee/tea?

Latte ☕💜

38. Favourite shoes?

My sneakers

39. When do you usually go to sleep?

At 1-2

40. When do you usually wake up?

At 11-12

41. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunset 😍

42. Do you like your bed soft or hard?

100% soft, I need everything be soft 😍

43. Describe the plate you are eating from

Green plate from Finnish design Iittala

44. Your favourite type of alcohol

White wine, I have my 'the' wine that I have to have if I have a night out 😍

45. Do you like board games?

I LOVE BOARD GAMES like there's nothing better than have a board game night with friends 😍😍 YAS WHO'S WITH ME?!

46. If you had a car, what kind would it be?

Nissan Leaf, electric car

47. Do you know how to change car tires?

My dad does

48. Dream country

South Korea and Australia

49. If you could choose from any jobs in the world, what would you like to do?

BTS private assistant? Ok maybe not 😂 a job where I can just travel the world and get paid well for it, I'd like also be a youtuber maybe 🥺👉👈

50. What would you like to try to do? And what is stopping you?

Time travelling, that would be so cool. And what's stopping me? Dumbledore didn't give me the Time Turner 😠

I tag @memeofthesoul @sugasugakookies @jinniestan @clickclacktothemangmang @hoseoknysus @kookie-off-his-kookie @kimsouthjoon @agustmoonchildd

You don't have to do this if you don't feel like it of course! 😊

[misssophiachase]

Hooray for prompts! Here’s a few ideas if you need some ideas! (1) “At some point, this will stop being weird, right?” (2) And then, Klaus noticed the giant claw marks in Caroline’s new table...bloody hell, he may need to leave the country for a bit. (3) No amount of sorry was going to fix her idiot friend Enzo breaking Rebekah’s heart...but her first priority was to hide him before Klaus found out. (4) She drew the line at broken necks before breakfast.

Wow, thanks for so many great prompts, Julie! Two down (2, 3) and think I will combine the last two (1,4) for this final drabble. Thanks for always giving me so many amazing ideas. 

(1) “At some point, this will stop being weird, right?” (4) She drew the line at broken necks before breakfast

Family Affair

New Orleans, LA

“Why do these meetings always end in at least three broken necks before breakfast?” Caroline murmured, taking in the mess that was their kitchen strewn with broken and displaced furniture.

“You suggested family meetings before 8am,” he offered. “I told you it’s not really the best time given my siblings haven’t had the optimal time to sleep off their blood hangovers nor have had their morning caffeine fix.”

“I made beignets, Klaus,” she whined, looking at the remnants of choux pastry spread across the table. “Not only that, I sent out the agenda well in advance.”

“While I respect your organization Caroline, my siblings aren’t really into rubbish or plumbing matters or sharing anything in general especially when it comes to food. The help usually tends to such menial matters.” 

“How grown-up and mature,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes for extra effect. “But even so, look at the state of this place. Why are your siblings and their partners these uncivilized beings that don’t understand proper breakfast etiquette?”

“They’re bloody animals, love,” he reasoned, his arm finding its way around her waist soothingly. “And to think I’m the only wolf in this unorthodox pack.”

“At some point, this will stop being weird, right?” She asked, nuzzling into his chest housed in a familiar, grey henley. 

“That we are married but can’t escape my relatives living with us? I”m not sure, they have this weird tendency about wanting to stay stiflingly close.”

“I blame you for daggering them and carting them across the country in coffins, it must be repressed memories.”

“I can do it again if that would help,” he suggested. “Kol is getting way too mouthy for my liking.”

“You can’t dagger your siblings, Klaus,” she sighed, even if she wished he could at times. “All I wanted when we decided to give this living arrangement a go was some semblance of order.”

“My brothers and sisters don’t necessarily like routine or order. it ruins their ability to perform massacres at short notice.”

“Well, Elijah certainly needs it when it comes to his suits.”

“Maybe so but he does have Katherine in his ear and we all know how unpredictable she can be.”

“Elijah I’m not worried about, he’s the most polite relative I have. He may remove hearts as a party trick but he never throws food or furniture at our family meetings.”

“Sounds promising then.”

“I swear, I almost had Marcel on my side the other day,” she huffed. “We were watching Terminator 2 and just when the T1000 was covered in liquid nitrogen your sister stormed in and denigrated all that is American cinema.” 

“Well…you do realize that James Bond is English, right?”

“I wasn’t asking for your wrong opinion,” she growled. “I was merely saying that we were bonding and Rebekah didn’t like it.”

“She’s a tad possessive, sweetheart,” he explained. “Trust me, I’ve been held hostage by her drama for over one thousand years now.”

“Davina and I went shopping and Rebekah, who’d had no interest in going out, showed up out of the blue. Then proceeded to berate the dress I bought for the Masquerade Ball.”

“You mean the dress I ripped off as soon as we were alone?” He smirked, pulling her closer, his fingernails massaging her soft skin. “She’s just jealous of your style.”

“Maybe but it’s not the point, Klaus,” she uttered defeatedly. “Your family hates me, sometimes I feel like I’ll never be truly accepted.”

“Sweetheart, that’s not true,” he promised, pulling her into a hug. His arms encircling her waist and by his possessive grip, Caroline knew he was threatening not to let go. Ever. “They love you in their own unique, Mikaelson way.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“They are jealous because they consider you the most normal, well even with your compulsive love of lists.”

“Sarcasm, really?

“Says the girl who has color-coded and alphabetized her to-do lists?”

“I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better, Mikaelson?” She shot back, removing herself reluctantly from his arms. 

“Fine,” he said, accepting her challenge. “Take a seat, love.” She wasn’t sure what to think but found the closest piece of furniture that hadn’t been broken in the latest altercation. 

“We’re not the most affectionate family but even the smallest gestures can mean so much in our world.”

“Go on.”

“The housekeeping staff overheard Davina accusing Rebekah of sabotage and praising your fashion sense. The most interesting part was that Katherine backed Davina up and apparently Rebekah has ordered your same dress in four colors.” 

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” 

“I always liked Davina” Caroline lied. She had fancied Bonnie with Kol for the longest time but when she’d run off with Enzo, she didn’t have much choice but to get on the Kolvina ship. 

“Marcel insisted on watching every Terminator movie because he thinks you have good taste in movies.”

“Well, damn straight,” she mumbled. 

“Kol considers himself the prankster of the compound but was jealous this past April Fools that you had better jokes.”

“I can’t help that I’m the master.”

“And that’s why Kol can’t wait to try and beat you. My intel tells me that he has some more pranks up his sleeve,” Klaus shared.

“Well, bring it on little Mikaelson.” Caroline thought she’d feel upset at the prospect but her competitive streak was out in full force. 

“Acting out like brats isn’t the best way but it’s how the Mikaelsons do things and given your responses I can’t help but think you’re going to fit in better than expected.”

“Your logic is completely whacked, Mikaelson, but I can’t help but feel a little more part of the family. Whether it is a good or bad thing, I guess I’ll find out.”

[sleepy--cal]

hitched pt.1 | ashton

word count | 7.6k  →  fake dating, tinder, romcom au

synopsis | Ashton lies about having a plus-one for Michael’s wedding, sending his friends into an excited frenzy, and him? Scrambling to make those lies come true.

a/n | i’ve never written anything for the 5sos community before so here is my hello :3 Warning: excessive swearing bc the author has a potty mouth

★

When Ashton thought about it way back when, he really thought he’d be the first to settle down. To tie the knot. To get hitched.

But the first 5SOS wedding is coming up in August and it’s not his. It’s Michael’s - as in feet-on-the-table, milk-mustache-wearing, fortnite-until-dawn-playin’, doesn’t-wake-up-until-2pm, stray-cat-lookin’ ass Michael.

Luke has his plus-one. Sierra. Even Calum’s weekends have been spent chasing after this girl that Ashton has yet to be introduced to. Yet here he himself is at 2 months shy of 25 years of age, and he’s so fucking single he’s pretty sure he and Virgin Mary could be featured side-by-side on an expert level of a spot-the-difference game.

In fact, the last time a female even stepped foot into his mancave of an apartment was before he’d broken it off with his ex-girlfriend over a year ago. And when his ex had moved out, she’d brought all of her stuff with her and when Ashton says ‘all of her stuff’, he means all of her stuff. There’s no longer a toaster oven in his kitchen, only a microwave that he uses to heat up pizza pockets and poptarts. There are no bowls to eat from because he eats his food straight off his only pot like an 18th century caveman. There’s a lacy bra hanging off the doorknob to his bathroom but even that was a gag gift from Calum for Christmas two years ago. It’s fucking sad.

So Ashton doesn’t think it’s his fault, okay, when his phone pings and he comes face to face with the link to RSVP to Michael and Crystal’s destination wedding and the first question that comes up is “Do you have a plus one?”

Ashton scoffs.

He doesn’t know what it is - either the internalized compulsive need to one-up his friends or you know, casual demonic possession but he physically cannot control his goddamn thumb as he checkmarks the little “yes!” next to the question from hell. The panic doesn’t settle in for a little bit, even when he’s staring blankly at the ‘thank you for your response!’ message that pops up after he submits the form.

It’s only when he picks up the phone to an ecstatic Michael less than a full minute since he indicated he wanted steak instead of fish for the wedding dinner that he well and truly has his ‘oh shit’ moment.

And of course, when one person in the band knows something, everyone fucking knows. Which is how he finds himself stuck in a 4-way facetime call with every single 5SOS member and their dogs.

He can see all of Luke’s pores from how close his face is to the screen.

Everyone speaks all at once.

“Ash you’re what?!”

“Mate, why the hell didn’t you tell us?”

“I seriously had to find out from you RSVP-ing to my fucking wedding?!”

Ashton winces as he pulls his phone further from his face. “Guys it’s not that big of a deal.”

Michael scoffs at the same time Calum screams. “Not that big of a deal?! Dude!”

“What’s her name?” Luke demands like he’s asking for tonight’s weather forecast and not the name of Ashton’s fake fucking girlfriend.

“Chernobyl,” Ashton says. What the fuck.

“Chernobyl?” Luke repeats, his nose scrunching up in deep thought.

“Isn’t that the name of the nuclear power plant that-”

“It was a joke!” Ashton snaps, cutting Michael off. “I was kidding. It’s an inside joke between us.” He bullshits. “Um-”

“Aw, you two have inside jokes already!” Luke coos instead. Calum falls for it immediately, cooing alongside Luke and if Ashton’s ego wasn’t so big, he would’ve hung up the call already.

“So what is her name then?” Michael probes curiously. Ashton wants to kill Michael.

“Uh,” Ashton says intellectually. Favourite cartoon character. His grandmother’s name. The name of his childhood stuffie. The street he used to live on?? Ah, his neighbour’s cat! “April! I- yeah, it’s April.”

“Aww! Ashton!” Calum says dreamily like he’s Ashton’s mom finding out about his girlfriend and not his punk rock band member.

“She’s twenty-two,” Ashton’s fat mouth adds unnecessarily, because apparently, Ashton Fletcher Irwin is a closeted masochist and likes his grave deeper than most.

★

When management had approved of the band’s 6-month hiatus in preparation for Mikey’s wedding, Ashton never imagined he’d be spending it alone on his living room floor downloading Tinder.

But as he watches the progress bar slowly fill with green, it dawns on him that this is probably the worst decision he’s ever made in his entire life and that he should probably get psychologically evaluated for compulsive lying.

He isn’t even sure if Tinder is the right app for this, because he’s not looking for a hookup. He’s looking for a very specific 22-year old April who happens to live in Los Angeles, is open to sharing a fake inside joke with him about the tragic 1986 Chernobyl disaster, and won’t think he’s a serial killer when he asks on the first date if they want to accompany him on an 11-hour flight to Bora Bora as his plus one for his best friend’s destination wedding.

Ashton groans, falling backwards onto the carpeted floor. “Fuuuuuuck.”

The only thing that answers him is the mocking ping from his phone telling him the download is complete.

The carpet is rough under his cheek as he turns to grab at his phone, the ‘Let’s get started!’ page of the app staring innocently back at him.

It’s afternoons like these that makes Ashton wish he wasn’t such an insufferable idiot.

In no time at all, Ashton has his profile set up - his name (just Fletcher), age (24), and a couple of long-distance unrecognizable shots of himself because there’s no way in hell the tabloids are about to catch him on Tinder.

He spends the next 30 seconds swiping right furiously on every single girl that pops up because Michael’s wedding is in four months and the fitting for the groomsmen suits are tomorrow and he seriously has no time to be picky right now. He literally needs his 22-year old April yesterday.

He’s about to max out on his swiping limit for the day when a loud knock on his door startles him out of his thoughts. From his spot on the floor, he peers around the corner at the front door and when the lock doesn’t jiggle after another ten seconds, he groans and gets up to see which one of his not-bandmates have decided to show up unannounced.

When the door swings open, Lauren is staring at him from the other side with a giant luggage behind her and a raised eyebrow.

“Lauren!” He greets enthusiastically without missing a beat.

She rolls her eyes at him anyway and pushes her way past him and into the apartment. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“I did not. I even have a poptart in the microwave for you.” He insists as the front door swings shut with a bang.

Yeah... he should really get tested for compulsive lying.

“Here, let me grab that for you,” Ashton says, hauling the gigantic suitcase Lauren had brought with her, ignoring her sarcastic as you should! as he goes off to dump it somewhere in his room. While there, he shoves his dirty clothes underneath the bed and smooths out the bed sheets so Ashton can at least pretend that he’s somewhat gotten his act together since Lauren had last visited.

When he reemerges, Lauren is relaxing on the couch with a poptart in one hand and his phone in the other.

“Lauren!” He roars as he does a running dive over the back of the couch. Lauren shrieks as she drops the poptart and stumbles to the floor, carrying the weight of her brother on her back as she tries to keep the phone out of his reach. “What did I tell you about touching my things?!”

“I see Tinder, Ash!” She screams back, knocking the cushions off the couch as she shoves a sharp elbow into his cheek. “I have to tell mom!”

“Like hell you will!” He shouts as he makes a grab for the wrist holding his phone hostage. “Give me my phone back!”

“Screw off!”

“I made you a poptart!”

“So?!” Lauren retorts. “I-”

They both freeze at the sound of a loud ping. Ashton can only watch helplessly as Lauren’s eyes dart to the phone in her hands, her expression going from angry cat to sparkly eyed in two seconds flat. “You have a match!” She squeals.

“What?”

Ashton takes advantage of the distraction to snatch his phone back. Immediately, Lauren is peering over his shoulder as he swipes on the notification, watching as the words ‘It’s a Match!’ displays itself on the screen.

Underneath the words are two circular pictures - one is of the blurry ass photo of himself that he’d chosen and the other is a photo of a pretty brunette beaming shyly at the camera from behind a teacup.

‘You and Luna have liked each other!’ Tinder informs him.

Lauren shrieking into his ear is probably the single loudest thing he’s ever heard in his life, and as the drummer of a band, that’s saying something.

“She’s pretty!” Lauren squeals. Two seconds later, she mellows down as she clears her throat and punches him hard in the shoulder. “I guess you have pretty good taste. Proud of ya, Ash.” She grins.

Ashton doesn’t know how to tell her about his blind and desperate swiping spree that he went on seconds before she showed up at his doorstep, or about why he’s even on Tinder in the first place so he doesn’t and just lets CompulsiveLiar!Ashton strike again. “Thanks Laurie. Her bio’s what really got me.” He says.

He has no freaking idea what Luna’s bio says.

“Let me stalk!” Lauren exclaims and snatches his phone back before he can say anything and because Ashton can’t help but admit he’s a little curious too, the pair of them huddle on the couch together, looking at Ashton’s phone like it holds the answers to the future, which, for Ashton, it seriously might, just not in the way his sister might be thinking.

“Luna, twenty-two years old,” Lauren reads aloud. Ashton’s eyebrows shoot up at her perfect age. She scrolls further down. “Hey, she went to UCLA! I wonder if I’ve passed her on campus before.”

“Majored in developmental psychology,” Ashton reads next. “Holy shit.”

Lauren glances at him suspiciously. “I thought you’ve read all of this before.”

“I have!” Ashton says defensively. “I’m just doing a dramatic reading for your sake.”

“God, please don’t.”

They spend the next half hour combing through every bit of Luna’s bio, from the three photos she has of herself and one of her dalmatian to her biography that simply reads ‘wine and pizza and I’m all yours! Protip: +25 bonus points if you have a dog. +75 bonus points if I get to meet ‘em.’

“Borrow Luke’s dog! You have to!” Lauren begs.

“I can’t borrow Petunia!”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t! Luke might ask questions.”

Lauren squints at him. “Are you embarrassed that you’re pimping yourself out on Tinder?”

Ashton snorts and crosses his arms. “First of all, I’m not pimping myself out. Second of all, no.”

“Just tell him it’s for me then,” Lauren urges, nudging his shoulder. “Tell him I’m trying to impress my Tinder date with a cute puppy and that I’d feel safer going if Petunia was with me.”

Ashton thinks about it for a moment. Luke does have a soft spot for Lauren after all, considering the fact that Luke had always wanted a younger sibling but ended up being the baby himself in both his own family and the band, which, in Ashton’s opinion, fucking hilarious but Lauren did have a point. There’s no way Luke would say no to Lauren and her safety on a random ass Tinder date in the middle of downtown Los Angeles.

Plus, he really needs this whole Tinder shit to work out. For Mikey’s wedding. And if he gets +100 bonus points for showing off a dog that isn’t even his? Sign him the hell up.

“Okay, well, I can see your thinking face.” Lauren says nonchalantly. “So while you text Luke about Petunia, I did you the favour of sending your first message to Luna.”

Ashton chokes on his spit. “You what?!”

The sound that Lauren makes when Ashton throws himself on top of her to grab his phone back is inhuman. But the sound that Ashton makes when he sees the message is worse.

I’m told I remind people of a puppy. If you get to meet both me and my dog over pizza and wine, do I get double the bonus points? 🐶

★

His neighbour’s goddamn cat is staring at him when he wakes up to drink coffee on the balcony the next morning.

“April,” Ashton greets slowly as a warning. Previous first-hand experience has told him that the stupid orange cat did not give two shits about piping hot coffee and would lunge at him for the cup if Ashton so much as blows the steam in her general direction.

As a safety precaution, he moves a little farther away because he’s not sure if his sore neck can take a hit from the crazy cat if she lunges, especially since he was forced to fit his 6 foot long body on his two-seater couch last night, Lauren having taken over his bedroom for her beauty sleep as soon as it hit 10 o’clock.

That, and, uh, the fact that Luna had messaged him back less than five minutes after Lauren had ditched his ass in the living room and left him to his own devices. How was he supposed to continue a conversation he didn’t even start?

And seriously? If anyone in the band was the most puppy, it was Calum. What’s he supposed to do? Bring Calum too and get triple the bonus points?

Thankfully, Luna seemed to think Lauren’s bullshit was cute, replying with a “oh, definitely! 😂 guess I’ll have to double the amount of puppy treats on me”, teasingly followed a minute later by a “what breed of doggos will Oreo and I have the honour of meeting?”

And that was precisely what had kept Ashton up all night.

If you look at Ashton’s most recent search history, you’d find the following: Most popular breed of dog Most popular dog breed in Bora Bora Best looking dog breeds Most popular breed of dog for girls Golden retrievers German shepherds Golden retrievers vs German shepherds

Ashton sighs as he sips on his coffee. In the end, he’d narrowed himself down to either a golden retriever or a german shepherd, not because he thought he resembled either of those two breeds at all but more the fact that both seemed to be the most popular dogs with the ladies (in general, not in Bora Bora because that one yielded zero search results when he tried). But before he could decide which one, he’d finally passed out on the couch last night close to 4am in the morning.

A loud meow comes from his right.

“What?” Ashton asks grumpily as he looks over at April. She’s staring back at him with a stinky look on her face.

Then, he gets an idea.

“Hey April,” He calls out. “Meow once for golden retriever and twice for german shepherd.”

The bitch meows three times.

★

Lauren is laughing so hard, she has to bang her fist on the kitchen table multiple times to control herself. “Golden retriever german shepherd mix?!”

“Stop laughing!” Ashton hisses. “Eat your pancakes!”

“You mean the pancakes that I made?”

Ashton pauses. “Drink your coffee!”

Lauren’s still laughing. “I can’t believe you said a mix! Now she definitely knows you spent all night thinking about it.”

You left me out to die last night!” Ashton accuses, pointing a finger at her. “What was I supposed to do?”

“You replied this morning anyway! You could’ve waited for me to wake up.”

Ashton’s mouth opens and closes a couple times but nothing comes out. So he changes the subject because he’s mature like that. “I have to get ready for the fitting.”

Lauren snickers. “Sure.”

Calum and Luke swings his front door open right as Ashton emerges from his bedroom shamelessly in a 5sos tour hoodie and black jeans. They both give him a once-over, both looking confused.

“I thought we were going to get fitted for suits?” Luke says, eyebrows scrunched together. “Or is there a band gig tonight that I don’t know about?”

“A band gig,” Calum replies seriously. “At the wedding boutique. I thought you knew! If we perform for the boutique staff, Mikey gets a 30% discount.”

“Budgetsos,” Ashton butts in.

They finally notice Lauren when she snorts from the kitchen counter.

“Laurie!” Luke beams as the both of them go over to bear hug her and inspect what she’s eating. They don’t question why she’s eating pancakes out of a pot. Lauren offers some of her food and Calum takes it immediately, chomping over her fork for the bite. Luke takes her coffee instead.

“So you arrived here last night and you didn’t even ask us to come hang out? I thought we were friends,” Calum pouts, helping Lauren clean out her plate even though she didn’t ask. He looks like a puppy begging for scraps. “And I’m like 300% sure we make better company than Ash.”

“Hey!”

Before Ashton can say anything else, Lauren is looking over at him mischievously. “Sorry,” She snickers. “I couldn’t. Ashton and I were too busy last night setting up a daaaaaate for him.” She drags out.

Ashton chokes on his coffee. Holy fucking shit.

Luke turns to her immediately with a gleam in his eyes. “So you’ve met April?!”

“Yes!” Ashton interrupts loudly between coughs, voice raspy from the coffee in his goddamn airway. He ignores Lauren’s face that goes from evil to confused in two seconds flat. “Lauren’s met April! They both, uh, seriously love dogs and that’s all they could talk about I couldn’t get them to shut up, like at all.”

“No fucking way! Is she here?!” Calum asks, eyes wide and head whipping around in both directions so fast his curly hair looks like it’s taking flight. “Where?! Is she in your room? I want to meet her!” He asks, already sprinting into Ashton’s bedroom before he’s even finished his sentence.

“She’s not there!” Ashton hisses, running after him. “She left this morning! She had, like, you know... work! It’s a Tuesday.”

Calum visibly deflates and Ashton almost feels bad for a minute before he remembers that he can’t introduce Calum to anyone anyway, because he doesn’t actually have anyone.

Luke bounds over next, immediately taking notice of the odd state of his room - Lauren’s open suitcase at the foot of his bed, a fuzzy purple towel thrown over his bathroom door. Luke picks up a random bottle of face cream out of the many that are lying on his bed covers. “This looks like Lauren’s stuff. Didn’t your girl stay over last night?”

“Uh,” Ashton stutters, pulling an excuse out of his ass. “Yeah, they ended up having like… a girls night?”

Calum snickers. “So you got banished to the sofa?”

“Chicks before dicks!” Lauren shouts from somewhere in the kitchen.

Luke pats Ashton on the shoulder sympathetically but Ashton doesn’t feel any less shitty. There’s absolutely no way Lauren doesn’t know he’s lying now. He sighs. “Come on, guys, I have to change into better clothes. Can’t let you guys one-up me.”

“We’ll wait for you outside!” Luke waves as Calum shuts the bedroom door behind him.

When Ashton reemerges from his bedroom in a button-up and slacks this time, Luke and Calum are listening intently at whatever’s coming out of Lauren’s mouth. Ashton manages to catch the tail end of what she’s saying, something to do with hawaiian pizza and rosé wine.

“Yeah, they’re totally in love,” Lauren smiles. Luke’s smile is even wider than Lauren’s. Calum looks like he’s ready to take notes. “Kind of weird to watch my brother act all lovey-dovey in front of me, but I guess it’s kind of sweet. I can really tell she’s the one, you know?”

On their way out, Lauren pulls Ashton aside with a smile that’s way too wide and whispers, “You owe me an explanation when you get back and also your life.”

★

They make it to Rosie’s Bridal Boutique after 45 minutes stuck in traffic. It’s located in a cute little yellow brick building in the middle of the suburbs surrounded by more greenery than Ashton’s ever seen in his life. On the way there, he manages to evade Luke and Calum’s curiosity by blasting All Time Low at a ridiculous volume with the windows rolled down, letting the violent wind and the voice of Alex Gaskarth constantly try and outdo each other.

Unfortunately, Ashton knows he can’t evade shit for long as they pull up to the boutique and see Michael’s beaming face plastered to the window from the second story of the building.

“Mikey!” Calum greets as soon as the elevator door opens, bounding in like a puppy (Ashton will never stop saying that because it’s true goddammit) to drape himself all over the husband-to-be.

Michael’s already in a little bow tie and a black suit that’s getting wrinklier by the second, no thanks to Calum. He does a little wave despite the weight on his arm, “Hey guys!”

��Shut up,” Luke says as he pulls Michael in almost violently for a hug. “You’re gonna pull a ‘hey guys’ on us when we’re about to be your groomsmen?”

“Best man!” Calum shouts.

“Shut the fuck up,” Luke threatens again, voice muffled from where its pressed into Michael’s shoulder. “Get in here,” He complains to Ashton who willingly obliges and throws himself into the man pile.

The boutique staff giggle at them from where they’re standing around the room holding various pieces of Michael’s suit.

Ashton’s about to crack a joke about how Crystal’s going to be blown away by seeing Michael go from boxers filled with holes to a 4-piece suit when he swears his phone pings louder than the combined pings from the phones of Lauren and all her friends during a girls sleepover.

It’s suddenly awkward. For Ashton. Just Ashton.

Ashton knows it’s coming, but he still flinches when Michael asks, “Is that April?!”

“According to Lauren, they were being lovey-dovey last night,” Calum swoons teasingly.

“And she staaaaaayed the night,” Luke drags out.

Ashton wants to murder all of them.

Michael whistles. “You know it’s serious when the sister and the girlfriend meet.”

“Can we not talk about this right now?” Ashton complains. “We’re getting suits fitted for Michael’s wedding, guys. Be a little respectful.”

“Michael literally started this conversation,” Luke points out.

“Can I just try on my suit now please?” He says unnecessarily loudly.

Immediately, the boutique staff jump into action, pulling suits protected by plastic bags seemingly out of nowhere and ushering Ashton into an open changing room where a lady comes over with bright green measuring tape. The other boys grumble at the change in topic but oblige, spreading out and opening their arms to let the staff take their measurements.

“So I was thinking either a classic all-black colour scheme for the boys,” Michael says, tapping his chin. “Or a fancy navy blue instead. My handsome self in a full suit and you guys in suspenders. That would be hot. What do you guys think?”

“Did Crystal say anything about what she wanted?” Luke asks as he’s examining the suit they’d brought over to him.

“Nope,” Michael replies, pulling on his bowtie. “Said you guys were all mine.”

“Awww,” Calum says jokingly, grinning over the shoulder of the staff person attending to him. “That’s so sweet, Mikey. I love you too.”

Ashton snorts. “Don’t go cheating on your girl with Michael, you homewrecker.”

“Oh, yeah!” Calum exclaims, suddenly perking up. Ashton has a bad feeling in his stomach. “You haven’t met my girl yet, have you?”

“Uh, no,” Ashton replies, unsure. “Not yet.”

The smile that grows instantaneously on Calum’s face almost blinds him. “And I haven’t met April yet! So you, me, our girls! Double date, tomorrow night! You can’t say no Ash, I know you don’t have anything to do tomorrow and you’re the only one that hasn’t met her yet.”

Fuck. “Fuck!” Ashton says, laughing nervously. “I wish I could man, but I have to take care of Lauren.”

Michael snorts from where he’s lounging on the couch. “Lauren’s an adult now. Stop being overprotective. You’re probably smothering her with your axe body spray and protein shakes anyway. I bet she’s gonna go on a date herself as soon as you’re gone.”

“If you’re so worried, she can always come over and hang with me and Sierra,” Luke shrugs. “Sierra’s been talking non-stop about those sugar cookies Lauren gave us last time. And Petunia loves her, seriously.”

Ashton panics. “Well definitely not tomorrow!” Because who the fuck is he gonna show up with? Their PR manager? “Uh, what about like, next week? Or next next next next week?”

Calum ignores the second part of his sentence entirely. “Next week then!” He exclaims excitedly.

Fuck!

“I’m going to try this thing on,” Ashton says quickly, grabbing the suit closest to him before he’s all but throwing the curtain closed. As soon as he’s alone, he throws the suit aside and then can’t dig his phone out of his pocket fast enough. When he presses the home button, it shows he has one message from Tinder, from Luna. He opens it hastily.

So according to Google, you’re intelligent, athletic, playful, affectionate, and loyal? 🐶😂 Sounds almost too good to be true.

‘So let me prove it to you! May Petunia and I take you and Oreo out on a brunch date this weekend, my lady?’ He types back quickly, adding ‘my lady’ to hopefully charm the pants off her. He hopes it isn’t too soon for that. Petunia isn’t even his freaking dog.

He’s so busy chanting please say yes over and over again in his head while clutching onto his phone that it startles him when his phone pings loudly again.

Luke, Michael, and Calum start hollering from outside.

Sounds great! 😊 I’m free Saturday. Where to?

★

As soon as Luke drops him off back home, he runs up six flights of stairs back up to his apartment because if he has to wait more than ten seconds for the slow ass elevator, he’s going to lose his mind.

He scares Lauren off the couch when he barges through the front door screaming her name.

“I have a date on Saturday!” Ashton whispers through his heavy breathing, wide-eyed and sounding both smug and scared at the same time because fuck yeah, I scored this date myself but also fuck! I scored this date myself.

“What? With Luna?” Lauren asks, equally as wide-eyed from where she’d fallen to the floor. “How? You were only gone for like 3 hours!” Then her tone switches from surprised to demanding so fast, Ashton gets whiplash. “And who the heck is April?!”

Ashton straightens up immediately and clears his throat. “Yeah, so, uh, long story.”

“I’m on summer vacation right now. Cough it up.”

Ashton goes to the fridge instead where he pulls out a beer because there’s no way he’s about to tell Lauren what’s probably the most embarrassing story of his life while sober.

And then they sit on the couch like they had yesterday when he matched with Luna on Tinder except this time, Lauren’s face gets less and less impressed the more he talks.

“So what you’re telling me,” Lauren starts slowly. “Is that you’re standing in a grave that’s 10 feet deep right now because your pride and ego are bigger than your brain?”

Ashton winces. “Can’t you sugarcoat it a little bit?”

“No!” Lauren explodes, almost knocking the beer out of his hands. “Are you even interested in Luna? What if you guys go on your date on Saturday and she’s completely into you and you’re just using her so you can one-up your friends and feed your male ego?” Ashton opens his mouth to say something but Lauren doesn’t let him. “And also!” She snaps. “What if she recognizes you when she sees you? Your face isn’t exactly clear in your Tinder photos. Your face is going to be all over the news Sunday morning, I swear to God!”

“Hey, just because I’m famous doesn’t mean I can’t date.” Ashton defends.

“Yeah, but does she know? What if she doesn’t know who you are and you two get caught on your date and suddenly, her face is all over the internet too?”

Ashton winces. ”Okay, you’re right.” He pauses. “You’re also right about me leading her on.”

“Thank you,” Lauren says grumpily, crossing her arms.

“But I mean,” Ashton says in a small voice. “I’m also not opposed to finding someone new?”

Lauren sighs. “How about you and Luna go on that date on Saturday, and if it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. You both wish each other well and both go on your merry ways.”

“...And if it does?”

“Then don’t get mad when I say I told you so!”

★

The days that lead up to Saturday are almost too slow.

On Wednesday, Luna had finally asked for Ashton’s number, texting him a cute puppy emoji to let him know the text was from her. On the same day, Luna had gone from calling him Fletcher to Fletch with no explanation, causing his heart rate to spike for a good twenty minutes before Lauren slapped him back to present-day reality.

On Wednesday afternoon, Ashton found himself frantically googling pet-friendly restaurants that served both pizza and alcohol. For bougie ass downtown Los Angeles, it was fucking difficult. But he’d managed to find one thirty minutes out of the city centre that had a nice outdoor patio and a menu for dogs. When he texted her the address, he got a ‘thank you for finding a place!’ back from Luna and it made his heart skip a goddamn beat because his ex had never thanked him for something like that.

On Thursday morning before the sun had even risen, Ashton had startled himself awake when he remembered he needed Petunia for Saturday. Squinting at his phone in the dark, he’d sent Luke a frantic text, reading: ‘Michael was fucking right Lauren’s going on a date on Saturday!!!!! Can you do me a huge favour and let her borrow Petunia for the day I don’t trust her SKETCHY ASS TINDER DATE’. And then Luke had texted him back not two minutes later, not even about Ashton texting him at ass o’clock, but about who Lauren was going on a date with, if Ashton knew him, why he was sketchy, and if he needed to kick anyone’s ass. He spent the next hour trying to convince Luke that they didn’t need to follow her on her date. In the end, it had turned into a she just needs Petunia goddammit Hemmings go back to bed.

By the time Saturday finally rolls around, Ashton is fucking winded.

Lauren’s still in bed (still in his bed, mind you), half asleep and bleary eyed and watching him dig around head first in the closet, mumbling to himself.

“Dude,” Lauren groans, breaking the silence for the first time since Ashton had barged in with no explanation. “This is too much action for eight in the morning,”

“Brunch is at ten and I still need to pick up Petunia!” He hisses, head popping out of a pile of clothing a moment later with two shirts in hand. “The black button-up or the blue polo?”

Lauren groans again. “What colour pants are you wearing?”

“Grey.”

“Black button-up.”

Ashton flings the blue polo back into the closet before Lauren can even finish her sentence, pulling his sleeping shirt off immediately afterwards.

“Ash, ew!” Lauren grumbles, flopping backwards onto the bed and throwing the covers over her head. Her head pops back out a moment later. “Just make sure to roll up the sleeves so you don’t look like you’re coming from a freaking business conference. And don’t button up all the way!”

“Got it!” He says hastily as he’s running out the door. “Thanks Laurie, love you, see you, bye!”

He’s already sweating by the time he gets into his car, the summer heat already at a sweltering 25 degrees celsius and rising despite it being so early in the morning. But even though it feels like Satan’s armpit, he pulls on a hoodie anyway because he’d rather die than have Luke see him dressed up in a button-up for supposedly no goddamn reason. It’s a little past 9am by the time he pulls into Luke’s driveway, Luke already standing there with an excited Petunia pulling on the leash.

He throws open the car door. “Petunia!” He greets, out of breath for no reason.

Petunia yips, panting happily and immediately trying to clamber all over Ashton’s lap as he bends down to pat at her head.

“I don’t know how useful Petunia’s going to be if Lauren’s date turns out to be a creep,” Luke says worriedly, still tugging on the leash to get Petunia to calm down. “Are you sure you don’t want us to follow her?”

“Mate, we’re both over six feet tall.” Ashton retorts. “If we follow her around, we’re both going to look creepier than her date.”

Luke squints. “How are you not worried?”

“I am!” Ashton insists. He’s lying out of his ass. “But Petunia’s a bulldog. No offense but her reputation is already scarier than any face we could ever pull.”

“Just make sure Lauren picks up the phone if you call!” Luke’s voice trails as Ashton opens the car’s passenger door and ushers Petunia inside. She settles nicely into the seat, looking up at Ashton with more love and adoration in her eyes than her owner ever did. “And take this bag!” He says, shoving a plastic bag that’s almost overflowing with the amount of shit that’s in it. “It’s Petunia’s food and toys. Tell Lauren to feed her and make sure she’s hydrated and-”

Ashton climbs into the driver’s seat and shuts the door on him.

“-And don’t forget to bring Petunia back by dinner! I swear to god, Irwin!” Luke screams through the glass. “Love you Petunia!”

The entire ride to the brunch place, Petunia just sticks her head out the window, tongue flying in the wind as she bops her head to the classical music Ashton had put on to calm himself the fuck down. The closer he gets to the restaurant, the more he feels himself getting a stomach ache. He doesn’t even remember the last time he’d felt this nervous for a date but if this doesn’t work out and he ends up going to Mikey’s wedding by himself, Calum might cry on his behalf and Luke might force him to be his and Sierra’s plus-two and as the oldest in the goddamn band, he’s not sure if he can handle that kind of humiliation.

But if this actually does work out with Luna, then he’ll just tell her the truth after Mikey’s wedding. That would be fine, right? Assuming nobody asks why the names Luna and April don’t match up.

Ashton groans. This is an entire goddamn mess.

The brunch place is packed by the time he pulls into a spot fifteen minutes before his reservation. There are dogs everywhere and Petunia’s so excited to see other beings of her kind that she’s resorted to pacing in circles impatiently in the passenger seat.

“Hold on Petunia,” Ashton groans, cutting the engine and throwing a hand over his eyes. “I’m nervous. Give me a minute.”

And because she’s the most perfect dog to ever exist (don’t tell Calum he said that), she stops pacing and starts licking gently at his hand. For once, Ashton doesn’t mind the slobber. He grins, looking down at her. “Okay, fine. Out we go then, baby.”

Before he slides out of the car, he pulls off his hoodie and puts on his sunglasses, thankfully fitting right in with all the other bougie people in their sundresses and designer purses who have time to wake up early on a Saturday for a brunch date with their dogs. He and Petunia bypass the ridiculous line, ignoring all the people who start cooing at Petunia. Thank fuck he’d made a reservation.

“Fletcher for two?” He says, trying to make his voice sound more like Fletcher Nobody Irwin and less like Ashton from 5SOS.

He tenses for a moment when the hostess pauses mid-greeting to eye him up and down. To throw her off, he gestures at Petunia who’s busy sniffing at a dandelion. “This is Monster Truck.” He introduces.

It’s then that the hostess looks at him again, decides that anybody who names their dog Monster Truck probably isn’t anybody famous and gestures behind her. “Follow me, sir. Your table is right by the water.”

Ashton lets out the breath he’d been holding when he and the hostess round the corner and he sees the only empty table on the patio, meaning Luna had yet to arrive. He picks the seat with his back facing the majority of the restaurant’s patrons. The hostess plucks the ‘reserved’ sign off the table, hands him the menu, wishes him a good time and then leaves him alone which Ashton is thankful for because he’d rather be left alone to have his panic attack by himself.

Petunia sits dutifully by his feet, drinking the water that the hostess had generously poured into a clear glass bowl for her.

Ashton is so busy trying to calm the hell down that he doesn’t notice the giant dalmatian sniffing at him from behind until its nose bumps right into where he’s most ticklish. He jumps at the same time a voice behind him squeaks, “Sorry!”

His heart has time to throw itself wildly against his chest bone exactly 1 time before he’s whipping around in his chair and coming face to face with stunning pale blue eyes. “Luna?” He breathes out, his eyes catching hers just as the words leave his mouth. Wow, okay. Jesus fuck, her Tinder photos had not done the colour of her eyes any justice.

Her unsure face transforms suddenly into a smile. “And you must be Fletcher?”

He almost does a double-take at the name before he remembers that oh yeah, he’s supposed to be Fletcher I-Eat-Brunch-With-Sunglasses-On Irwin and making a good impression right now because Mikey’s wedding. “Yeah, yes! That’s me.” His palms are sweaty and he can’t tell if it’s because they’re sitting on an outdoor patio is 30 degree weather or if it’s just his pretty date making him more nervous than his ex had ever made him.

It’s at this moment that Petunia (god bless her soul) decides to come lumbering over from her water bowl, her panting, drooly, smiling face looking up at Luna like she hung the stars (which, in Ashton’s opinion, is very fitting for her name).

“And this must be Petunia!” Luna exclaims, bending down to pat the bulldog’s head. Luna’s hand is so small it’s practically dwarfed by Petunia’s giant head. “It’s nice to meet you.” She says to Petunia and oh my god, Ashton could melt right then and there.

Instead, Oreo decides to try and sniff his crotch as Ashton tries to stand. He makes a strangled sound as Oreo’s nose digs into the front of his pants. “Holy crap,” He blurts, because he apparently has no brain-to-mouth filter. “Petunia has never reached that high before.”

“I am so sorry,” Luna squeaks again, blushing up to her ears. “Oreo, behave please! This is my first date with such a handsome guy,” She jokes shyly, pulling the dalmatian back by the leash.

It’s Ashton’s turn to turn bright fucking red. Holy shit. He feels like a 15-year old virgin all over again.

“He must smell the golden retriever german shepherd mix in me,” Ashton jokes back.

She pauses and then looks up at him for a moment before she bursts into laughter. “Oh, that’s right!” She says as she reaches into her purse and pulls out a cookie shaped like a bone. It’s wrapped in plastic and tied together with a pink ribbon. She holds it out to him shyly. “I did promise you a treat. I hope you like gingerbread?” Oh, wow.

“Is this for me or for Petunia?” He teases as he takes it, because he wants to see her blush again.

She giggles and Ashton feels like his heart might fall out of his chest. “For you.”

Ashton can feel the heat creeping up his neck. He stands again, without Oreo all up in his crotch this time, and for a second he has to pause because holy shit, Luna is tiny, the top of her head just reaching his shoulders. And then she looks up at him, smiling, which kicks him back into gear, stumbling around the table to pull her chair out of her.

“Thank you,” She mumbles, cheeks still red. Oreo follows her as she sits down, folding his legs underneath him right next to Petunia who he sniffs a couple times before turning to Petunia’s water bowl to stick his face into. Petunia doesn’t look like she minds.

“So,” Ashton starts as soon as he’s settled back down. It’s when he pulls up the menu to his face that he realizes he can’t see the tiny font through the dark tint of his sunglasses. Shit. “Uh.” Luna’s looking at him expectantly from over the top of her menu. “You studied psych in school?” He asks, diverting the conversation by pulling the topic straight out of his asshole.

She smiles so much that her eyes disappear into little moons. “You remember that from my bio?”

“That, and the dogs and the pizza and the wine,” He lists off, grinning on autopilot when she does and trying not to make it obvious he’s trying to find the right time to take off his sunglasses. What the hell kind of expensive ass sunglasses are these anyway? “Psych’s very cool.”

Oreo yips.

“Yeah, Oreo’s pretty cool with me studying psych too,” Luna jokes, reaching down to rub at Oreo’s head. “What about you? What do you do?”

Ashton freezes. Lauren’s words from yesterday start ringing in his head. It’s now or never. Now or never.

His heart is hammering in his chest as he slowly, inconspicuously slides the sunglasses off his face, getting ready to launch himself over the table and towards the car park if she starts screaming.

When nothing happens, he looks back up at her. She’s still staring politely at him even though his sunglasses are completely off now and his bare face is exposed for the world to see and lit up from the glaring sun. Those pale blue eyes blink back at him.

Nothing. Ashton inhales sharply. She… doesn’t recognize him?

“I’m a drum teacher,” Ashton blurts, the words flying out of his mouth before his brain even knows what he’s saying. Okay, too close! Too close to real life, Jesus Christ. Fortunately, she doesn’t seem to make any connections.

“No way! Drums?” She says, looking surprised. Her expression melts into a wide smile. “That’s really cool! I don’t think I’ve ever gotten my hands on a drum kit before. Maybe you could teach me sometime.” She compliments genuinely, looking at him shyly. She reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear and for moment, Ashton’s fucking smitten. He forgets all about the fact that he’s the drummer of the band that released Youngblood, multi-platinum certified and #1 on the Billboard Top 200. For today, he’s just a regular fucking guy out for brunch and Luna’s attention is all on him. He feels like a sponge, trying to absorb as much of it as he can.

Thankfully, the waiter that’s serving them chooses that moment to swing by and introduce himself with too much enthusiasm for this early in the morning, looking like serving brunch to people with too much money is his life calling.

“And what would this lovely couple like to order today?” The waiter sings eagerly.

Luna stutters. “O-Oh, we’re not...”

Ashton doesn’t even bother denying the waiter. “The blueberry pupcakes for Petunia and just the steak and eggs for me, please,” He says, smiling before glancing up at his date. The waiter pretends to swoon at his charm. “And for you, my lady?”

Luna laughs at the subtle reference to their tinder conversation, a rosy blush decorating her cheeks. “The Poochini for Oreo, please, and I’ll take the prosciutto flatbread. Thank you.”

The waiter leaves with promises of their food soon.

“So, the prosciutto flatbread?” Ashton jokes. The look on her face says she already knows where this is going.

“It’s the closest thing I can get to pizza here,” She says with a serious face before she bursts into giggles not two seconds later.

Fuck, Ashton’s in love.

★   

| TBC |

[3d10fire-damage]

red sun summary 6/4/2020

the party returned to Etaqu and approached the guards, saying that they’d brought Amata for Kissare to question. one of them went to check with their superiors about that, meanwhile calypso held Amata above her head like a prized fish or something. Amata started some serious wiggling and actually caused calypso to fall down. calypso told her to stop her wiggling or she’d bop her one, and phosphorra said that that was mean. calypso countered that Amata was a jerk anyway, so whatever. once the party was allowed to bring her into Zabu (and Kissare)’s office, Kissare greeted the party cheerfully. she told zoroe she appreciated the cleric’s allegedly “saucy” response to Sending, and zoroe got flustered. the party collectively teased zoroe about this (”were you sending spice to her, square?”) for a bit before everyone got a little more serious about the situation at hand. (Amata was not pleased to realize she had apparently been kidnapped by the gay circus.)

zoroe explained what the party had done since the last time they had been in Etaqu, how they had fought cultists and infiltrated the tomb hideout to get Amata. phosphorra also revealed that, based off of a feeling she got while Amata was speaking with him, the King might very well be a dragon, or at least something that can fly. Amata seemed to tense up at this. Kissare told the party they could keep anything Amata was carrying on her person, so calypso set about taking those things from her. phosphorra asked if doing this in front of Amata was rude, to which calypso argued that Amata had shot cold magic air at the party and so she could stand a little rudeness. what calypso found was some gold, a Bag of Holding(!), and a Wand of the War Mage. phosphorra took the wand and calypso held onto the Bag of Holding, once it had been emptied of its contents (trinkets and some books, including diaries in code). it was revealed that the King had declared himself the ruler of what is now called the Kingdom of Thorns, which consists of the area surrounding and including Susanbal, Mahiru, Melu, and Bet Tabti.

moving on to the party’s next steps, Kissare (shoving Zabu out of the way) retrieved some scrolls for the party, intended for noting information about the King’s highest ranked troops. she offered a few options; trailing some King’s caravans to see where they were travelling to and from, finding where the King might be, hunting down A, L, or the tiefling mercenaries, or finding information by acting as bandits. phosphorra asked if she looked at all like a bandit, to which the party and Kissare were like “yes, actually.” phosphorra insisted she was too soft and quiet to be a bandit. calypso said that she also didn’t look like a powerful sorcerer that can fling Fire Balls, and yet here she was. the others assured her it was a more of an attitude thing, confidence. “well, i don’t have much of that.” calypso insisted that she had enough confidence for both of them, so by proxy, phosphorra could be a bandit. the conversation diverged back to plans, and phosphorra mumbled more about being soft and friendly-looking. she startled when calypso responded to her, but smiled a little when calypso did the classic >:P maneuver.

Kissare also mentioned that she was planning on maybe starting a riot in Melu after smuggling some weapons and setting a network of contacts over there. calypso was Very into the idea of joining in on that... and surprisingly, zoroe was also into it. the group settled on the plan of locating the King and his subordinates, then heading back to Melu to help with Kissare’s mission there. zoroe, still flustered by Kissare’s demeanor and muscles hurried the party out of the office, claiming that time was of the essence. once outside, there was some debate over whether zoroe was simply embarrassed for being accused of flirting with Kissare via Sending or if she was flustered by Kissare like in a gay way (also phosphorra being uncertain of calypso’s use of the word “spice”). zoroe didn’t give a particularly straightforward (haha) answer. calypso pulled zoroe aside and asked if she shouldn’t make jokes about zoroe re: Kissare (as per a very personal conversation zoroe and calypso had while on the road). she even offered to tell the others to step off if need be. zoroe said that it was okay as long it wasn’t in front of Kissare.

the group then did a little shopping for some new armor and brewer’s supplies. cluk briefly entertained the idea of starting a business. the party then set out on the road, headed north to trail some caravans. passing through Melu, it appeared that there were many more King’s troops than before, a result of an incident at the parade. eventually, the party set up another stakeout, and spotted a caravan with various stuff on it, pulled by donkeys. 

trailing behind the caravan, the party discovered the roads that simply end on the map actually continue, and lead to a branching path... and to a large fort of some kind. no one was sure what the purpose of this fort was; calypso suggested it was maybe a place for King’s troops to go be assholes. they continued following the path to a very large city. the city looked like it was very old and in ruins, but parts of it showed clear signs of restoration and activity. there was a very large palace, where the party suspected the King might be. there was a discussion of what the move was, to just gather information, or bust up the place. zoroe suggested they stay subdued for now, to which calypso sarcastically said that that was no problem. zoroe very nicely thanked her and ruffled her hair, which made calypso happy.

upon entering the city, guards stopped the group and demanded to question cluk. she had been spotted at one of the King’s outposts, putting on some kind of performance. cluk agreed to the questioning. the party waited outside anxiously, wondering how they would bust her out if they needed to. the guards said that cluk had apparently gone down into Amata’s scrying chambers around the time that Amata went missing. cluk was like “do i really need to explain what i was doing?” the guard insisted that she did, so cluk explained that she had a friend there that she took down into the chamber for intimate relations. the guard flustered and let cluk go free (nat 20 on Deception, god is real).

moving into the city proper, the group walked right into a party, which Davke discovered eventually was a wedding reception, for an orc and an aarakocra. it became clear that this city had much more food and drink than any other city in the area the party had seen. heading further into the city, they discovered a huge circular arena, which many people were filing into. phosphorra didn’t want to go inside, but the others wanted to go in to see, maybe find out some important information. calypso said that since she was confident enough for both of them, phosphorra didn’t need to worry about anything inside. but phosphorra kinda tuned her out (to calypso slight disappointment) and was ultimately convinced to enter the arena by zoroe, who insisted the party shouldn’t be split. the main event within the arena was a fight between the twin tiefling mercenaries, Sudabeh and Siyavash, and a group of aarakocra soldiers, who had apparently been apprehended during the disturbance at the Melu parade. if the aarakocra could win, they would be set free, and if they lost, there would apparently be some use for them.

at this point phosphorra became distressed, saying that the party couldn’t just sit there. calypso was confused, since phosphorra had specifically asked her not to get too excited or try to join in the fighting. zoroe told phosphorra to keep her voice down, and that their hands were tied right now. cluk asked what phosphorra had been expecting, seeing as this was an arena. phosphorra said that this is why she didn’t want to come in here, it wasn’t her fault. calypso said that the party had just been curious, and maybe they could’ve seen the King here. zoroe told phosphorra that they couldn’t just look away from things like this, and that witnessing what the King had wrought was part of bringing him down. “if anything, let this fuel you.” but phosphorra argued that watching this happen was just being complicit and that they should be helping. calypso asked if she wanted to jump in, but phosphorra said that she just wanted to leave. despite their advantage in numbers, the aarakocra were soundly defeated by the tieflings, and were led away as the crowd cheered for the tieflings.

once the party had exited the arena, zoroe began speaking very sternly to phosphorra. it was perhaps the first time anyone had seen zoroe angry. she said that she refused to be called complicit as she and the party were trying to stop the King, and that phosphorra needed to step up and look at what was happening rather than keep trying to run away from it. calypso tried to stop zoroe, saying that she should be gentle with phosphorra, but zoroe wasn’t having it and kept going. cluk agreed with zoroe, and calypso just frowned and remained silent. phosphorra wasn’t looking at anyone, just sulking and staring at the ground, so zoroe took her face in her hands and said that phosphorra needed to grow up and treat this situation seriously. phosphorra turned from her grasp and still didn’t say anything. calypso tried to move past the now resounding silence by asking what the next move was, but nobody seemed to be suggesting much. zoroe apologized for getting so angry. (it was such RP yall omg.)

phosphorra, still caught up in her feelings, suddenly felt this weird compulsion to go into some ruins in the northwest. she tugged on calypso’s sleeve and told her this, and calypso kinda glanced at the others before asking if she wanted to go with the others as well. phosphorra said that they should all travel together, so calypso told the others that they needed to head that way.

next time... well, who knows. great session tho

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #2 - Patrick Hockstetter

Request: Hi. ~ ( Sorry for my bad english, I'm Italian. ) First of all I wanted to say I love your headcanon on the Bowers Gang and your writing. This is my ship request. 💙✨I'd like to be shipped with Patrick. ( My physical description )My hair is bright red ( dyed ) and half shaved. I usually wear blue contact lenses and make-up ( eyeliner and pink/red eyeshadow ); I also wear glasses. I am tall 5'6''. ( Personality ) I am an extrovert girl and very talkative, I often annoy my friends talking about the movies I have seen and the books I read ( My favourite films are A Clockwork Orange, Benny's Video, Crash, Good Fellas, Nosfretatu, Videodrome; my favourite books are Catch-22 and Naked Lunch. ) My friends usually describe me as arrogant and very impulsive; also someone told me that I look like a cupcake filled with poison 'cause I have a pretty face but I am very sarcastic and I'm used to threat anyone who says to me something I think it's offensive ( I am very prickly. ) Also I am very anxious and nervous about lots of things like keep my grades up and always look pretty, similar to a Barbie or Jessica Rabbit ( so I wear make-up everyday, wear clothes like crop-top and shorts and keep my weight down. ) I am the kind of person that tries to always win because don't know how to handle a defeat. I suffer from OCD so I have lots of irrational fears ( example: if I don't repeat a phrase an even number of times I'll be hit by a car and die ). I also have compulsion like repeat every action two/four times ( never three or five ) and I eat different foods ( as chips and meat ) in different plates because I'm scared to be poisoned if they touch. Me and my cousin's boyfriend usually do things like burn little insects or trap them in something ( like a glass full of water ) and put them in the fridge to freeze them. I also smoke a lot ( cigarettes, I don't like weed so much ) and really like to drink, even if I rarely get drunk. Sometimes I get involved in fights, always out of school, and I became pretty violent; I am not so strong but I have always a little knife with me or a chain, worn as a necklace. I only sleep few hours at night because I usually spend time drawing ( I draw only naked people and without the head ) or reading / watching something. I am not a jealous girl, I always leave a lot of freedom to my partners. I don't believe in moral laws applicable to anyone, I think that there isn't something always wrong or always right and for me the end justifies the means. I did my best, I hope I went deep enough. 

Patrick first started creeping on you entirely because of your physical appearance 

Kind of struck him as the type of person who likes to act crazy, rather than someone who actually is crazy, but likes that better than actual crazy because it gives him the opportunity to test the fuck out of your limits

Legitimately experienced euphoria-level joy when he saw red hair, blue eyes, crazy eye-shadow, and shaved-headedness all on one person, and decided he needed to “get a taste” of you as soon as possible

... Which eventually led to you guys actually getting together, because ya’ll are two fucked up peas in a pod

Patrick traded you one of his old lighters (but not the sacred Zippo lighter) for your chain necklace when you guys first got together

Half because he wanted people to know that you were his, half because he wanted to choke you with the chain during sex from day one

He becomes the permanent light for your chain-smoking habit (lights every cigarette you ever smoke, hands-down)

Friggin’ loves that you’re not clingy

Will sometimes tell you about other people he wants to fuck, so you can rate them together

The judgement is real, though - you’re both basically Simon Cowell when it comes to sizing other people up, and just end up roasting most of them into oblivion 

It’s a bonding activity though, so yay (?)

Also insanely turned on by the pictures you draw, and sometimes asks you to draw specific people from school so he can use their decapitated naked bodies as jerk-off fuel

Also likes that he can mess around with other people without having to sneak around... 

... but would literally kill you if you did the same

Seriously - you can give Patrick all the freedom you want, but you don’t have any freedom whatsoever where he’s concerned. You’re his girl.

If you test this limit, there will be serious consequences. 

You guys kill insects together all the time and he loves it oh my gosh

He’s never had the opportunity to kill with someone who actually enjoys it before, and he’s on the darkest version of cloud 9 you’ve ever seen 

Legitimately starts to take a big chunk out of the time he spends with the guys, because he’d rather be in the woods fucking up Jiminy Cricket with you 

Always leads to insane, animal sex in which you just get fucked right out in the open (sometimes pounded against a tree, other times held down on the ground - orgasms galore either way)

Gets more violent with you than any other partner though, because you get his killing instinct hot and bothered 

You get burned, scalded, cut, stabbed, choked, slapped, bitten, scratched, and drowned all within the first 3 months (and we all know homeboy is just getting started)

Eventually starts trying to goad you into killing bigger animals with him (”Come on, princess - you’re tellin’ me you’ve never wanted to move on to bigger and better things before?” *Gets all up in your personal space, grazing your lips with his* “That doesn’t sound like the heinous bitch I know...” *Peer-pressure filled Hockstetter grin*)

... But will settle for the insects if that’s really all he can get 

Still surprises you with a cat or a rabbit once in a while though, and expects you to watch him kill it even if you won’t participate

Doesn’t give a fuck about your OCD issues 

Actively tries to trigger you by mixing your food around on your plate when you eat near him, and by messing up your counts when you try to repeat things a certain number of times

Sometimes even tries to inspire new irrational fears by telling you you’ll probably die if you don’t count this, repeat that, etc.

Both because he finds it hilarious, and because he thinks your temper is sexy af

High-key rubs himself through his pants every time he sees you break out into a fight with someone

Screams anything he possibly can to rile you up more, so you’ll mess the other person up even worse than you originally planned to

Will 100% use your concerns about always looking your best against you when he gets angry though (”Dressing like a whore won’t help you, sweetie - you’re still the ugliest thing I’ve ever fucked.”)

For the most part though, gets a big kick out of his relationship with you

Moves on when you reach your batshit crazy limit for the time-being...

... but starts hanging around you again at random points throughout your life 

Because of your unique traits (i.e. because you killed with him, and because you generally don’t give a shit) you’re a “toy” he’ll never get fully bored of

Expect a random Hockstetter visit at least once every 4 months, even after you guys split up

[izzyovercoffee]

Prompt number: 27. "Can you wait for me?”  Fandom: Fallout 4 Rating: PG? Warnings/Tags: mention of violence but nothing explicit or major Summary: Piper feels like she just can’t catch a break, right up until she does. Notes: Deacon’s in here. B)

##. he’s my nondisclosure agreement

Piper was having a bad day. 

Sure, it was normal to have days that are bad, out in the Commonwealth. Normal to venture forth through the gates into the world to hunt down the slightest inkling to her very, very sensitive investigative… uh, senses. Normal to come back empty handed and angry to all hell.

But Piper, she'd had enough of normal. Had her fill of it, even. Had it up to here of the kind of normal that left her at the end of the day twice as mad because anger was a great alternative to crushed, and she didn't want to entertain going through the motions of feeling crushed in open view of anyone and everyone.

The public sure would LOVE to see a crushed loudmouth reporter. LOVE to see her brokenhearted and on the verge of shutting herself away forever.

So she picked anger. Anger was a good motivator. She found it could be freeing, even, especially from the cage of her insecurities, and her loneliness, and her writer's block.

“Piper!” Nat’s voice broke through Piper’s surly mood. 

“Heyy, kiddo…” She dragged out the hey just a little too long for normal, and Nat’s eyes narrowed. Busted. 

Nat hopped off the box she used to accost and bully the people of the market to buy their newspaper and stepped a little closer to Piper.

“Your boyfriend's here,” Nat near-whispered. 

Piper sputtered. “H-what? I don't…who?”

Nat said nothing else, just stared up at her from her judgmental position. “I'm going to get ramen,” she announced, at a louder volume. “Can I have some caps, please?”

Piper blinked down at her sister, thrown by the sudden change in demeanor, and dug out the handful she'd need for a bowl, maybe two.

“Thanks,” Nat said, and then much quieter: “He's been waiting for you,” and gave the door to their home a meaningful glance.

“Did he say what he wanted?”

Nat leveled a very, very unimpressed glare in Piper’s direction, and set off.

So much for spending her bad day alone and in peace.

How was her hair? Her hat? Her trenchcoat? She quickly patted down her coat, her hat, and didn’t bother touching her hair. What she needed, what she really needed, was a bath. 

That was, at least, her excuse. Her prepared I-need-to-go-sorry phrase she’d throw down the second she stepped through the door. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. She’s not nervous for no reason at all, all of a sudden, or anything. He’s not---it’s not. Like that. Or anything.

Did she ever get around to improving her poker face?

“Hey!” He said from his position lounging on her couch, head tilted back with his sunglasses neatly over his eyes. He angled to look at her as she stood just inside of her home. She leaned forward to pull the metal sad-excuse-for-a-door closed. 

“John,” she said and, after a beat, locked the door.

“Piper,” he replied with an easy smile. “You look thrilled to see me here.”

So she couldn’t help wearing her expressions on her sleeve. It was part of her charm, her indelible mystique, her … ah hell, who was she kidding?

“No offense, John, but I’ve had a really long day,” she said as she turned around, and leaned her back against the door. “I was hoping I could spend it, you know, alone.” She didn’t move, just bent her arms and slowly tugged her gloves off, finger by finger to loosen the grip the leather had on her skin and ease off the otherwise impossible to remove protection for her hands. 

He watched her---or she assumed he did, with his chin tilted in her general direction and his sunglasses still blocking his eyes. 

“Sure, sure,” he said. “I get that, but, you know, I got this crazy gut feeling today, almost like I was shot through the head by intuition, and I thought---hell, I better check up on my friend, the crazy reporter with the worst timing.” 

She gripped both gloves in a single palm, and as she looked from the uninvited guest on her couch to the wrinkled, worn leather in her hand, she briefly considered hurling the gloves across the room and shooting them. She didn’t, because they were a very nice pair of gloves and she had no desire to replace them any time soon, but the impulse was there. Instead of following it, she gently placed her gloves atop the filing cabinet directly to her right---left of the door when looking at it, and in between the steps to the door and her couch. 

Next came her newscap, which she pulled off her head in a way that lacked elegance and was mostly all anger, and squeezed the canvas in her bare hands with an unsubtle show of her frustration. 

“Fuck you,” she said and chucked her hat across the room. It slapped the far wall with a faint, soft fwap, and fell to the ground. 

“You were really building up for that one, huh.”

“What the hell do you want, John?”

Both his arms stretched out lazily over the top edge of her couch, his head still tilted back over the back edge and against the wall, his legs extended in a sprawl that suggested he might just fall asleep there. His hands raised at his wrists. 

“Whoa, whoa,” he said, too casually and without any emphasis behind it. “I’m just here to help you today.” 

“Yeah?” Piper asked. “Where were you about two hours ago when I needed the help?”

He shifted in his seat---on her couch. Took a breath, as if buying time, or thinking on the right thing to say. 

“You know what? I’m suddenly not up to feeling like beating around the bush,” he said, softly, as if hit with an unexpected wave of exhaustion. “I covered you dragging Ms. Covena’s body from the Fens Way station. You’re welcome, by the way.”

Piper took the steps down to the ‘ground’ floor of her home, on the level as the couch, the printing press, several filing cabinets and her sleeping bag at the far end of the room. Her heart puttered angrily in her chest, the anger a farce in the face of her overwhelming grief of the moment. 

“She died before I got there,” she said. “If I hadn’t---”

“Hey, Piper, question,” he interjected. “Have you considered, maybe, oh, I don’t know, that she was trying to set you up?” 

Piper liked to think she had some sense not to be exceptionally revealing, but her surprise had her whip her head around to look at him. “What?”

“Listen,” he shifted, again, and sat up a little straighter, brought his hands into his lap, as he looked back at her. “I don’t know what you were meeting with her for, but I do know she had racked up a pretty heavy debt to a nice big group of smiley gunners, and it was just about … oh, last I checked, around the same?” His head nodded side to side in consideration. “About? As the price they put on your head.” 

She frowned. Obviously, she knew better than to just trust what some compulsive liar tells her, but all the pieces she found around Ms. Covena’s body sure built up a stink of set up, and it didn’t help that Gunners rained down some ugly hellfire once they realized she’d sprung the trap. How she managed to drag the woman’s body out of there, and then managed to make a run for it, she didn’t know.

What she did know was that she felt grimy, and now foolish, and that grief dispersed in confusion and the void of frustration left behind. 

“So you’re here to, what?” she asked. “Rub it in?” 

“Have I ever?” he asked, seriously.

She remained quiet. No, he hadn’t. Granted, he didn’t come around often, but … no. he never did.

Another beat of silence stretched between them before he patted the couch beside himself. She hesitated, and shook her head. “Give me a second,” she said, and worked the buttons of her coat. She pulled it off, and crossed the room to hang up the coat on a hook. She still felt a little dusty, but not as bad without the majority of the dirt-catcher she wore off her shoulders. 

And then she collapsed onto the couch beside him with a whump, and leaned up against him. His arm went around her shoulders, as if to secure her in place.

He was warm, and he actually smelled good, which was more than she could say for herself. 

“Why do you always find things out before I do?” she asked.

“I didn’t.” He yawned, and hell---maybe he really was tired, instead of playing at it. “I found out after I saw you drag her out. Overheard it when I was, uh, taking potshots to spook off your tail.” He paused. “I did say you’re welcome, right?” 

“I heard you the first time,” she said, but didn’t thank him. He’d be waiting a nice long time before she got around to it. And, okay, sure, maybe it was a little petty to withhold thanks for a genuine favor, but she wouldn’t put it past him to hold it over her head later. “And I didn’t ask for the help.”

“Oh, here we go again,” he drawled in that weird… accent she couldn’t place, and removed his arm from around her shoulders. “I’m not gonna ask for your permission to help you out every time, Piper.”

She remembered some folks talked about a weird Diamond City guard that talked like he was from out west, from real, actual, caravaners that’d come from way out at the other end of this wasted strip of land---but if that was the case, that raised a whole lot more questions than answers.

“I don’t want your help.”

“Fair.”

That surprised her. She was expecting an argument, even gearing up for it---but then again she also felt the sheer threat of exhaustion waiting for her, so maybe she was just trying to stave off passing out with irritation.

“Fair?” 

“A----nyway,” he dragged out the ‘a’ of anyway as he rose up to his feet in a smooth motion that looked like it took absolutely no effort at all, and Piper once again revised the thought that he may well actually be tired. “I better get a move on. People to go, places to see.” 

Piper stared at him. That wasn’t … Was that… wait, what? 

“That’s it?” she asked. 

“What’s it?” 

As he turned to look at her, she caught the slightest glimpse of bright eyes before the sunglasses hid them again. The stark overhead lighting worked against her there, throwing his face in dark shadow when he did look down at her. 

“Why come here?” She frowned. “Why bother me?” 

“Just making sure our favorite neighborhood reporter’s still kicking,” he said, a soft smile pulling up into a smirk. 

He took a step towards the door, and paused. “Oh, hold on.” Made a show of patting down his pockets, except the getup he wore didn’t have pockets in all the places he touched. “Where did I put it…”

“You know, it’s the funniest thing,” he said, and pulled out a holodisk from one of his actual pockets. The foil on the side looked scraped, beaten, but otherwise it still looked whole and usable. “I just found this lying around, didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t get a chance to read what’s on it, but today feels like one of those rare days, when the stars align and everything makes sense.”

He set it down on the arm of the couch beside him, unlocked the door, and stepped outside. 

Piper watched him go. 

“Shit,” she said. Stared at the holotape. “Don’t tell me…”

She grabbed the thing, hopped off the couch, slotted it into the terminal she kept by the couch, and---

Oh, shit.

Weeks worth of information spilled out across the display. Information that, on a quick read-through, confirmed all her suspicions, backed up her assumptions, supported---

It was everything she’d hoped to get with the meeting that went south quick. And, suddenly, her bad day wasn’t as bad as it could be. 

And she hadn’t thanked him.

“Fuck,” she said. “Now I feel like an asshole.” 

“It’s what you deserve,” said Nat as she came through the door, two bowls of ramen in hand. “Your boyfriend already paid for my ramen. You looked mad, so I got you some.”

Piper wanted to snap, or cry, or somewhere in between. But her little sister? Didn’t deserve that, and she had it on good general experience that John was long, long gone. So she did the next best thing.

“Thanks,” she said, and joined Nat at the table.

She needed to eat, and to sleep. And maybe catch a bath.

The story could wait.

[funkymbtifiction]

The joys and wonders of being a 1-6 with low Te

I find myself struggling with the same vicious circle a lot: being a 1, when I plan my study for an exam I practically don’t leave space for relaxation and fun, because deep down I’m convinced that I wouldn’t deserve it until I’ve finished everything I’m supposed to do for school. Moreover, when I do actually force myself to stop studying and do trivial activities, I feel this black hole of anxiety in my stomach that makes me want to run back home and go back to studying, so I don’t really enjoy myself and relax (say hi to my phobic 6). The downside of this is, of course, that I can’t possibly focus and be productive for 24 hours a day, human brains don’t work that way, so I actually find myself wasting so much time instead of studying, for example watching stupid youtube videos and doing activities that let me shut off my brain and forget how anxious I feel about that exam. But when I get to the end of the day and I find myself with 90% of my daily load of study still undone, of course the anxiety comes back at full force and I feel even less deserving of free time for the following day, so the cycle begins again. I only manage to break it when, instead of going to bed, I spend half of the night awake to make up for lost time, because I don’t know why but I focus more at night (maybe I’m less distracted because there are less stimuli both from the outside world and from social media/internet, I don’t know). This applies to therapy as well: I know perfectly well that seeing a psychologist would make me less anxious in the long run, but I’m so anxious about “wasting” time that I give up on the idea altogether. So… Help? Please?

(You don’t want to wind up disintegrated into 4 like Norrington in POTC 2. ;)

You have several issues going on, which I’ll address individually.

First, Tritype issues – the curse of double-productive fixes (1 + 6). I suffer from the exact same issue, which compounds low Te into demanding “results” for my time and guilt-trips me into not taking “down time.” The solution is to set reasonable goals per day, achieve those, and quit working, forcing yourself to walk away and go have a good time, because you have “earned” it by finishing your task or at least making a dent in it. If you are anything like me, even when you have major demands on your time (work / school), you may face the temptation to be productive in your down time. I am notorious for heading into my big work week (it demands lots of Te/Si, which is draining) and not stopping my writing, which means I “work” myself into exhaustion, rather than taking a break from writing for a week. It’s stupid, but I compulsively attempt to do both and exhaust myself. So, you have to self-discipline yourself enough to fill self-preservation “rest” needs.

Second, Enneagram 1 issues. 1s have issues with relaxation and having fun. They often feel they aren’t deserving of these things, and should not take time off to rejuvenate. You have to work toward integration (moving toward 7’s ability to have fun / relax / enjoy life), which means, again, carving out time to enjoy yourself, guilt-free. If you have to adopt a mantra of self-talk (“I deserve this free time and fun, I am not going to beat myself up for taking it or guilt myself into going back to work”), so be it. But focus on working toward integration.

Third, low Te blind spots. High Te is logical. It knows the body can only take so much, and over-working produces lackluster results. Logic tells you your body needs rest, food, and mental down-time to keep you on top of your game. Low Te’s generally superficially are aware of this, but keep going anyway, since they don’t take it too seriously and/or assume they can wing it forever.

If you are incapable of taking mental time off, this means you are likely also: not eating right or taking care of your physical needs. Do you know what “brain foods” are? Are you eating breakfast? Are you doing most of your mentally-heavy work in the morning when your brain is optimal and refreshed? Are you getting a full 6-8 hours of sleep every night? Are you limiting your “blue light” exposure in the evening, by not texting / surfing on your phone / staring at your laptop until you fall asleep? Are you exercising? Etc.

Low Te overdoes Te, meaning FPs wake up one day, usually in their 20’s, and realize how much time they “waste” and think they need to grow up, get serious, and mass produce things all the time. Thus, you wind up with looping / gripping FPs. To disengage a loop or a grip, which means you are out of balance, you must re-engage the missing function. Se/Ne or Fi. What does this mean? Get off work / school, and go find something to do that uses one of those functions, rather than falling into Te “I need to get back to work” thinking.

You are tired. STOP.

Therapy is not wasting time, if it’s helpful to you. You only get one of you, and you get to spend your whole life with yourself – you owe it to yourself to “get better” and get professional help for the things you cannot overcome yourself. Spending time in therapy now to stop compulsive/harmful behaviors will save you a lot more time later on after you have hit rock bottom and burn out.

- ENFP Mod

[undonesarc]

               *   𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒕      //      repost,  don’t  reblog !

𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑺  :

FULL NAME. augustus hugo suarez. NICKNAME. shortens his first name to august, and has since childhood, but he’s most predominantly referred to as romeo, the nickname he was christened with upon entering the criminal world because of how ‘pretty’ he is. he owns this nickname, and since entering a life of crime genuinely instead of just as an undercover, it’s his go-to for introductions, even in settings where it’s not necessarily needed (i.e., not on a job.) he’s open with acknowledging august as his name, too, but he’s really taken to romeo. GENDER.    cis man. HEIGHT.   5′8″. AGE. 38.  ZODIAC. scorpio.     SPOKEN LANGUAGES.   (castilian) spanish is his native tongue (but he is familiar with latin american variants), english, american sign language, and very basic french.

𝑷𝑯𝒀𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑺  :

HAIR  COLOR. black.  EYE  COLOR. a dark brown that mostly seems black, depending on the lighting. SKIN  TONE. bronze might be the right word?  BODY  TYPE.   strong, muscular, highly and almost compulsively athletic.  VOICE.  he’s “uncharacteristically” soft-spoken, at least as far as what’s expected of a guy who looks like him. there’s a faint trace of a spanish accent, but he’s been known to exaggerate it, mostly because he thinks it makes him more attractive, fading more with every year.  DOMINANT  HAND.   right-handed. POSTURE.  he doesn’t ‘slouch’, but there’s an obvious relaxation in the way he carries himself, though he’s also sure and vaguely professional, but it isn’t actually law enforcement professional. he never took to “acting” like a cop, which is why he was better undercover than in a uniform. SCARS. a few nicks here and there, but the most notable are a gunshot wound on his left bicep and one down his right arm (from elbow to wrist) from an accident on his stepfather’s farm. TATTOOS. to be determined. i don’t picture him having many, but a few little tiny ones here and there from his years spent traveling are possible. BIRTHMARKS.   n/a. MOST NOTICEABLE  FEATURE(S). his smile, mostly because his canines are really sharp, natural fangs, and he has a more-than-slight gap between his front teeth (but this doesn’t bother him in the slightest, and he’s never wanted to get it ‘fixed’.) he has lots of freckles on his nose and cheeks, too, and they garner a lot of compliments.

𝑪𝑯𝑰𝑳𝑫𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑫  :

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.   valencia, spain. HOMETOWN.   valencia, spain. SIBLINGS. n/a. PARENTS. clara and alvaro. he’s kind of estranged from both. august hasn’t seen his father, alvaro, since the age of 16, and he’s perfectly content to keep it that way. his mother, clara, has remarried an american named michael, but august doesn’t see her new husband as a father in any way, despite michael’s attempts to get august to open up to him (and constantly calling him son, because he loves august, even knowing august doesn’t feel the same). august hasn’t spoken to his mother in a few years beyond some brief texts and phone calls; he hasn’t seen her since he was 21. he loves her, but he feels his life is really complicated now, and she’s finally in a good place and happy with a man who actually cares for her, and he doesn’t want to ruin that.

𝑨𝑫𝑼𝑳𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬  :

OCCUPATION. ex-undercover cop, now a full-time criminal. CURRENT  RESIDENCE. atlanta, georgia. CLOSE  FRIENDS. he's a new character, i haven’t done any plotting yet, so as of now? none. hmu if you want to change that :) RELATIONSHIP  STATUS. single.  FINANCIAL  STATUS. working class. DRIVER’S  LICENSE. yes.   CRIMINAL  RECORD. no. VICES. he’s incredibly impulsive and it just ruins his life constantly.

𝑺𝑬𝑿 & 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬  :

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION. bisexual. PREFERRED  EMOTIONAL  ROLE.    submissive  |  dominant  | switch   PREFERRED  SEXUAL  ROLE. submissive  |  dominant  |  switch LIBIDO. medium. TURN  ON’S. confidence, strength, people who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty or raise their voices and challenge the world and its expectations. timidity doesn’t work well with him, since he acts so brashly and without thought most of the time, and he prefers people who can keep up and are willing to put up with his spontaneity. on a more physical aspect, he likes it when people - of any gender - are taller than him, but he’s not so shallow that it’s a complete deal breaker. he’s very much an extrovert and gravitates towards people who are the same. TURN  OFF’S. people whose ‘loudness’ is just rudeness.  RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.  he’s not good with commitment; he’s only had two real relationships in his life, one which, surprisingly, lasted two years, with a man in new york, when he was 21; august sees this as his only experience with real love. it ended because he felt august was still too childish in many ways, because august felt he took things too seriously, and so they decided to end things amiably before anyone got hurt, because their lives were just too different - but august still got a little hurt anyway, and it’s affected the way he views romance to a certain degree. his second ‘real’ relationship was with a woman in D.C., but she ended things in favor of furthering her political career, and didn’t see him as the type to fit into that scene, which only furthered his distaste for commitment, feeling like it’s too big, and like he’s never going to be equipped for it, because that’s how people keep treating him. he has a few connections that last a couple weeks every now and then, and then a handful of one-night stands, but he does wish for something deeper sometimes, especially as he grows older, as he’s finally beginning to really mature.

𝑴𝑰𝑪𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑶𝑼𝑺  :

CHARACTER’S  THEME  SONG.  fearless by pink floyd. HOBBIES  TO  PASS  TIME.  hiking, running, watching soccer, visiting art exhibits, recreational and lowkey boxing, and writing - he’s been writing short stories for a while now, has a good chunk of a novel done, but it’s all only for him; he doesn’t have any intention to publish them. LEFT  OR  RIGHT  BRAINED.    i’m not smart enough to figure this out PHOBIAS. deep water and airplanes. SELF  CONFIDENCE  LEVEL. definitely..... higher than what’s accepted. he loves himself a lot, thinks highly of his abilities, the way he looks, just his general presence. he thinks he’s a good friend. he rarely ever doubts himself, and it definitely comes across as annoying, but he also doesn’t care if people get annoyed by it. he’s happy and he’s thriving. VULNERABILITIES. his impulsiveness, because it was impulsion that caused him to leave home, become a cop, inevitably betray the cops and switch sides... he makes split-second decisions and it’s just stupid and terrible of him, he rarely stops to think about what happens two or three moves from the one he’s currently making, and it’s going to be what kills him, eventually.

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑩𝒀    — @armsdealing 𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮    — @sabortooths, @constantwar​ 4 heath, @wanlidas​ 4 aaron

[orangeblossomstudies]

First off, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is giving this series love and support! It means a lot to me to see people reblogging and tagging it as useful information. That just really makes my day! Now, without further ado:

Part 3 in Surviving University (and other not so fun but important things)

Here I am going to go over how I both prepare for and partake in class lectures. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

RE: College can be a trip sometimes so, seeing as I’m going into my third year, I think I have enough background to put together a list of tricks and habits that have both helped/hurt me in the long run. I struggled really really hard when transitioning from high school to college because I have severe social/general anxiety and am not good at dealing with new situations. My grades reflected that for my first semester, but I learned fast and am now going strong!

note: not all of these may apply to you and your university as every place is different! Despite this, if you are an incoming first year or struggling college student, I hope at least one of these tips help you!

Lectures (in general) 

This is mainly for the Freshman audience!

Raising your hand to go to the bathroom is something that doesn't really happen in college.

it might seem polite but you're not a child anymore and you don't have to ask to go relieve yourself. No one can stop you. It is wise, however, to understand your surroundings. If you are in a small classroom setting (like you were probably used to in high school) then waiting for a pause in the lecture before getting up is polite and looked kindly on. If you are in a large lecture hall with hundreds of others, you can get up at any time, walk outside, do whatever the hell you want and come back in and no one gives a rat’s ass how long you were gone.

you also don’t have to bring your stuff with you if you plan on coming back. You can just ask the person next to you if they can watch your stuff (I do this all the time) and you’ll be fine (I mean, as long as you’re not leaving a wad of cash or something on your desk. Someone might take that lol)

No one cares that you’re wearing pajamas. It's your life, do whatever the hell you want. Unless you plan to go talk to your favorite teacher about a possible reference for a job or something important where appearances matter, you can wear anything. Not gonna lie, I've seen my fair share of butt cheeks in too-short shorts and muscle tees that are seriously low cut (not that I mind~), but at the end of the day it's college and you’re an adult. What outward image you want to display is totally up to you and they can't do shit about it (unless you’re literally in your underwear or something totally obscene like that, which is, yes, illegal). But seriously, you can get away with a lot.

As a sub-note, I personally live in Florida where it's hot, like really hot, and the humidity is most often at 100% so these “underdressed” occurrences are not uncommon. If you live under similar conditions where most people strip to fight the heat I'd give one fair warning: the AC is no. joke. You might end up freezing your ass off no matter how hot it is outside because the majority of the day you aren't in the sun—you're in a classroom that's blasting an AC that no one ever touches. I usually opt for a t-shirt under a flannel or some other type of over-shirt that can be taken on and off when needed. Find what works for you.

If you want to skip a class, pick the second meeting (this means if it’s a M/W class, skip Wednesday). Yes, I know. You're condoning skipping class? Yup. I am. But there are rules. First, you need to make sure you are confident in the subject. For me, that means English classes. That's my forte and that's what I'm focused on, so I feel comfortable skipping a class or two when I need to study for one of my more difficult subjects or when I feel I just can't sit in four classes that day. The second rule is to make sure you aren't actually missing anything like a quiz, or project overview that is going to be delivered that day. Lord knows you can't make that shit up (many times even if you have a legit excuse). Anyways, many classes have a set number of absences you can have (mine are usually 4 tops--unexcused and excused). Figure out how this may work for you.

I don't get sick but once every two to three years, so I can divvy out my skips easily, but for some people, they need to take certain things into consideration. I'd advise you leave an absence (or two) for a situation that might not be under your control. If someone in the family dies or you need to go to the hospital for some unspeakable reason, you don't want to have to be worrying about failing a class by being there. Understanding your personal situation is key to making this work without ruining your college career.

Deciding if you can arrive late is very circumstantial depending on your professor, yourself, the weather...it's a bit of a wobbly situation. I personally like to get to class 10 to 15 minutes early as I hate rushing and the thought of standing at the front and trying to find a seat while half a class is already there (despite the fact that they probably don’t even care) literally makes me want to hurl. Often times, the teacher will only arrive just as the class should be starting (or later). Yeah, as you can see lots of factors go towards whether it's a good idea to be late, so just analyze and make a decision (better late than never anyone?)

If it's a small classroom setting, again, it's usually a good idea to apologize quietly and take a seat quickly. 

Sit wherever you’re comfortable. I see many people suggesting sitting up front, but everyone works differently. I personally prefer the front as it is easier for me to partake in class discussion (I feel pressured when I can see people turn around to look at me) and I don’t have to strain to see. Some people like the back where they can see the whole room and fidget without feeling like they are distracting other people. Some people don’t care.

No there aren’t assigned seats in college, but after a few days, seats might as well be. People tend to sit where they are at the beginning of the year the same as at the end of the year (give or take a few days where you’re later than usual). This is most probably due to the fact that students rely on people in their proper seats to help them find their seat quicker. Even professors rely upon students sitting in the same seats for attendance purposes. Try not to move the general area of the class you attend, or it may throw everyone off!

Lectures 1.2 (preparation)

This is just how I do it I by no means am telling you it is right or for you. Take the information as you will and enjoy!

The night before, make sure you have the readings read and the classwork done (whatever that may be). I can attest to the power of doing the readings (as one who is in multiple English classes and therefore has A LOT of readings). I had a class last semester that I barely did any of the readings for and, although I got an A, I didn’t enjoy it at all. Not only that, but I can’t believe the number of times that I complained I “didn’t learn anything.” Like, no shit, Michaela. You didn’t try. Getting readings and classwork done, even if it isn’t for a grade, will make your life so much easier and you might even find yourself enjoying the subject as you will get a much better understanding.

If you find something confusing or an obscure thought pops up while doing your readings/work, write it down. It will give you a way into class discussion and will help you tons in understanding the topic. I can’t count the number of times in which I know I had a question but by the time it came to the lecture I’d forgotten it.

Before lectures, I like to do a little researching on the topic outside of the textbooks. There is a lot of interesting information out there that can aid you in discussion when in class. Building a relationship with the professors of your major is key to your educational career as you move forward and the best way to do that is by getting them in their element and finding a common ground (I’m still working on this as I don’t like meeting new people).

Make sure you have everything you need. Whether that be a full case of pens and highlighters and your favorite notebook or simply your laptop and a water bottle, you don’t want to show up without the necessities.

Lectures 1.3 (how I do the thing called class)

To start on the most basic level, I get to my seat and set my desk up. I’m super anal about order and my OCD tends to kick in here so you probably won’t have to the compulsive problem I do to situate things over and over again because they’re a little tilted (like just chill Michaela), but however you do it, get yourself prepared before the professor starts the class. It’ll get quiet really quickly and (for me at least) shuffling around in your bag for your stuff is super uncomfortable and embarrassing.

During the lecture, I write down a lot of things besides the notes from the PowerPoints. For me, the notes I take in lecture are really messy. I not only cover what is in the slides, but also anything my teacher says that isn’t there. Usually, if the teacher decides to go off on a topic, it is important and you should pay extra attention to it (unless it’s obvious that your teacher just goes off the rails all the time). I also tend to add reflective commentary and any questions I may have (and their answers).

On the topic of questions, don’t be afraid to ask them. It is severely important for your questions to get answered. You thought them for a reason. You clearly don’t understand something and need a little more detail to do so. It does you no good to have a question sitting there in your head without an answer. Knowledge is power people. Even if you have to wait till the end of lecture because of shyness, do it. You’ll be thankful later.

If your lecturer has included them in their slides, copy the graphs or models (even if it looks like chicken scratch) those charts are more than likely going to show up again later on during a test or quiz because they are short, simple, and cover a heap of information. Get. It. Down. 

I absolutely love when a teacher creates an example for better understanding. They usually come up with something that is simple and easy to understand and that is something that has become EXTREMELY helpful for when I’m trying to understand theory, philosophy, and language (yes, even the English language gets me). Examples given by teachers are also something to keep in your notes as they are usually never generic and can be helpful down the line when you need to write a paper.

After lectures, you should always engage with the material again. I do this by rewriting my notes. It has been scientifically proven that writing helps with long-term memory of ideas and conceptual information. Writing the notes twice helps me even more. By creating a format of my notes (as opposed to the bland first draft) I am able to make a snapshot in my head of those notes and thus remember the information (this is just something that helps me as I have a slightly photographic memory. You by no means need to doll up your notes. It’s a lot of work and not for everyone so don't feel bad about doing something more minimal!) 

For vocabulary, I swear by flashcards. I, of course, have the vocab in my notes already, but I use flashcards for memory as they are not only a technical third time of writing the vocab., but they also help in giving a flash in my memory of the characters (Chinese) and their meaning. The repetitive motion of flipping the flash card also helps when I try to think back to the vocabulary I went over. If you are able to remember the routine, you can effectively form an image in your head of the word and remember the information more clearly (ok, I know this might not work for everyone, but that’s how my mind works. I would compare it to a “Mind Palace” where schemes and events are created to aid with memory of a certain topic, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say my memory is that good.)

That last point was sort of a sneak peek into Part 5! I really hope you enjoyed this. It was a little more personal as how I go about my lectures will differ as what will work to you, but I always find it fascinating to see how others work academically. If you have any questions or want to comment on your own experiences, please do so! Part 4 will be up next Sunday and will be covering assignments (homework and papers) and the tips I have for that as well as my own commentary of the “proper” ways to study *please, note the sarcasm and heavy eye roll*

Thanks for reading and enjoy the rest of your day!