#i see them and im just like. spectacular give me fifteen of them right now

[psi-ness]

imagine one night tadeo and makaraig are drinking casually and tadeo is just rubbing his hands gleefully like a fly being like "YES I'M GONNA KNOW ALL HIS DIRTY SECRETS !!!!!" and then the dirty secret in question is makaraig saying he enjoys eating pork fat

he eventually realizes makaraig's confessions are all just food related. stuff that he so often pretends he doesn't like because it's gross or unhealthy but in reality he's like NO I WANT IT !!! I WANT THE PORK FAT, I WANT TO SLURP THE HEAD OF THE SHRIMP, I WANT TO GET EVERY LAST BIT OF BONE MARROW !!!! 😭😭😭

a few evenings later, tadeo takes him out to a restaurant, and it has everything makaraig ever wants and finds sinful in food. aligue pasta. pork chops. expensive ass dishes that are just a huge chopped up bone at the middle. bro is literally lord henry and makaraig is dorian gray being tempted to indulge in debauchery through food. he eats until he gets dizzy and they probably frequent the restaurant more often than is really needed

flash forward to a few months later, makaraig has to take a medical check up and he just fails his blood tests in proportions so epic that you wonder how he's stayed alive this whole time without fainting or having heart problems. maybe he has felt more faint, but it's hard to tell because he's just that goddamn good at keeping himself composed. but at least that is the first time makaraig has ever failed anything in his life

[updatesherwood]

DOMINIC AT #DREAMITATHOME2 [PT. 3]

Q: My question is.. first Alberto. Can you talk about Simon's character, all the relationships he has between Clary, Maia and Heidi. Also I wanted to ask about season 3 episode 10: how that was shoot and how the experience was since you were all on set. And that's the one with the highest ranking on IMDB. D: How high is the ranking? Q: 9.5. Never seen that before. D: What happened in that episode? Q: That's the last scene with Clary and Lilith, at the top of the building. A: The penthouse explodes and I... D: Yeah, I remember that now. L: You know why it has the highest ranking? 'Cause that's the first episode my arm appears. D: Just a arm comes out and grabs her (Clary) wrist and everyone was that's Luke Baines, TEN! TEN! A: That was actually shoot obviusly in pieces, so the downstairs part when you saw Isabelle, Luke and Alec fighting was shot in a building in downtown Toronto, and then the elevator and the penthouse were shot in a studio set, at the studio. And then... they had two different sets: the pre-blow penthouse and then after the explosion they has a completely different set of the rooftop. And then.. Simon's relationships with everyone... it was really cool to have to decide for Simon what each of those relationships meant. With Simon and Clary's relationship I remember my first conversation... I was like "I want Simon to look confortable, in what he's wearing and stuff... so that Clary always sees Simon as a safe haven", so that's why he was in jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirt, we always wanted to make it seems that he could take something off to give it to Clary. With Maia it's a different point of Simon's life. He's a vampire, it was more like a learning about himself and then Izzy is when he finally kind of accepts who he is and accept that he could become what he decides to become.

Q: Question for Dominic... did you and Matt (Daddario) talk about how you could play your Kurt in Penny Dreadful? D: No, not really. I think the key thing with relationships in general is that all they are is two people caring about each other, so as long as you can portray that, in an affecting way, then... you know, having to work on tips because it was unconfortable kissing a man it seems a little strange, like that's what Kurt feels, that's what Townsend, and that's what Alec feels and that's what Magnus feels. The only weird thing I had to go through is... about halfway through the first scene make up came over and I had like red on the top of my lip, because Michael has moustache and it gave me like a... rash. And it's something I've never experienced before. And that was the only weird challenge I had to get over. Michael was such an incredible performer. He's very generous and loving and caring. We sat down with each other about two months before even started filming, so we knew the sort of stuff we'd be going into, but it wasn't about the difficulty of the sexuality, it was more about the nudity and what we were confortable with doing 'cause we knew that that was gonna be a part of what we were going to do in the show. Talk about the tecnicalities of what we'd do when we were simulating sex.

Q: Create your own movie with the three of you, deciding title, synopsis and characters roles. A: I was like... The three amigos, I'm Steve martin. I mean, if you haven't seen Three amigos... it's a classic movie. D: Can I be the singing bush? A: I wanna be the one that "I'm still here, guapo!" D: By the way, I'm leaning spanish, ant it made it even funnier that they called him "el guapo" 'cause it means "the handsome" and that's f*cking brilliant! It is so funny! A: We're gonna make a movie, and it's the three of us.   L: The three of us go to Mexico, Dom's character gets arrested. D: I knew  it! I'm like an idiot. Like I've just crossed the border and I'm get arrested. L: It's like you and me... we need to get him back. I'm like the fighting guy that saves you. D: Like in real life. L: What's the name of it? A: "El guapo".

Q: If you had to become famous for a weird talent, what would it be? D: I can make my tongue do the worm. That's pretty weird. L: So what, you would become famous on youtube for that? D: Yeah, and people would see me on the streets and say "oh oh, do the thing!" L: The worm boy, cool. I think my weird talent is to point out people's grammar in text messages in really inopportune moments. Like, my friend had just broken up with his girlfriend and he was crying and texing me and I was pointing out that he was spelling things wrong. And he was like "are you f*cking kidding me? It's not the time!" and I was like "It't always the time". Alberto? A: I don't know... I'm looking around my house trying to think what would be my weird talent... D: You know a lot of famous quotes. You always have a quote for every situation. That's my favourite talent that you have. A: Oh, so that's where I'm going. Thank you man! D: By the way, ours are so stupid, I mean I do the tongue thing and you're the grammar nazi and he is like a beautiful human being and that's why he gets famous.

Q: They did a Mortal Instruments movie. Would you guys consider join the movie if the opportunity came up? A: Do we play the same characters? Q: Yes, you play the same characters. But Jace has to have a good time 'cause he had a crappy time in the series. D: He has a crappy time in the books as well so you should change his story and then he'd have a good time. Would I do the movie? Yeah, I mean... right now, having done the tv show, probably not, but if we were offered the movie at the beginning then yeah. But we've done this journey now, we've done it so well and I was so happy with what we did. I think doing it again would only make it worse. L: It would be funny if we'd do this again. A: I think that if we'd do that again I wanna have more say in the making of it. I want to be one of the creators or showrunners or directors. L: I just... because I'm not in the movie I want to be Clary. D: You'd be in the movie, eventually. it was supposed to be a series.

Q: If you could describe each other with a song, which song would it be? L: Dom is "Dude looks like a lady" A: I was thinking of that! D: So you're not appreciating the beard. Thirty years it took me to grow a beard this spectacular. I'm really happy with it. I'm using a cider beard balm right now. I smell delicious. I swear to God I am. L: I mean, my song is obviously "Chasing Highs". A: What's your other one? 'Cause we descovered Alma together, you went to the concert with Tessa *starts singing "Dye my hair"* D: Yours Alberto... Like "Runaraund Sue" the reminds me of you but just because you sing it often, not 'cause it's related to you anyhow.

Q: Do you watch each other shows and if you do what do you think about them? A: Well, I've seen Luke's movie "Under the Silver Lake" like six or seven times. With four separated groups of friends. Whenever a friend is like "we sould watch a movie" or "what movie should we watch?" I'm like "have you guys seen "Under the Silver Lake"? It's pretty great. So I say we do see each others shows. Im gonna binge watch Penny Dreadful." L: I watched the first two episodes of Penny Dreadful and I obviusly need to watch more so I can see Dom. D: Yeah, it's a crazy show. I still haven't seen "Under the Silver Lake" but I need to 'cause Alberto keeps talking about it. L: The movie is quite good. What is funny is that... I was shooting another movie when the audition came through and the scene was just the bathroom scene, I had about fifteen minutes to shoot that before I had to go to the set. And I literally didn't even read the script, I read the scene and I played it pretty much like I played it in the movie. And I gotten said that I was the only person who played the comedy in that scene and that was why they chose me.

Q: What in your life would you give up in a second if it could get you even to a better place that you are now? D: There's not much I'd give up, to be honest. I like everything in my life. A: Me too. L: I would give up coffee if everybody in the world has food. A: Yeah, I could make that deal. L: It would hurt me. And it would hurt every single person who came in contact with me. D: I could do that.

[cryptidofthekeys]

Turg and Jim in: The Game Show but Jim makes Turg cheat so he can get all the money

(This is going to be stupid, probs short, and honestly I paused all my wips, that will be MUCH longer than this, just to write Turg Fanfiction, I paused my wwe fanfics for this, ....For T u r g, so naturally it'd be worth it, this isnt going to be like spectacular or anything tbh, its just short and maybe even for practice but either way I hope y’all enjoy... this.)

Turg looked up at the building and tilted his head "Turg in right place?" Jim came up beside him and looked at the building as well, a grin spread across his face "Yes Turg, yes we are! Now remember, here's the deal... You get in there, do all the work for me and win the mon... er... Green paper... And then I promise you'll get the jelly or whatever it was you wanted" Turg suddenly had a goofy smile on his face "Turg win! Turg want jelly!!" He exclaimed, running into the building, Jim chuckling and then quickly sprinting after him, so far so good, hopefully Turg could remember the plan just long enough to win him the money prize.

Turg had headed backstage and one of the employees walked towards him "There you are! You were almost late! And... Oh good lord, you are even more terrifying than I thought..." They sighed and just began walking off "I don't get paid enough for this..." They muttered, meanwhile Turg was just idling in his spot, he didn't really understand what they said but either way, he was more so fixated on the jelly... Jim wanted the green paper stuff and then he'd give Turg some jelly! Speak of the Devil, Jim had appeared behind Turg and placed a hand on his shoulder "Now, just remember the plan... You got this Turg!" Turg had a dopey smile plastered on his face "Believe in Turg?" Jim rolled his eyes, but he put on a smile and nodded "Yeah yeah sure, whatever, now get out there and win me the green paper!"

Turg nodded and before he headed onto the stage, Jim had placed an earpiece in Turg's ear, he had explained this part to Turg who seemed to understand the very basic hopefully, it was just a little... Insurance policy, he of course didn't mention the whole... Cheating part to Turg, otherwise then the other wouldn't have agreed to wear it more than likely, and of course Jim had made the earpiece himself so it was small enough so the host wouldn't see it... Well unless the host got very close and just looked directly at Turg's ear... But it was unlikely they'd do anything like that! And besides, he was going to make one hundred percent sure that he was NOT going to get caught, he needed that money and he'd do anything to get it!

Turg then headed out, waving at all the audience members who gasped in horror at first but then they slowly began clapping, they... They really didn't... Know what to think of this man, er... Monster? Whatever it was coming onto the stage, even the host of the show looked a little... Nervous, they began whispering something into the ear piece, just sighing afterwards and then looking back at Turg and smiling "Hello hello hello! Welcome Contestant Number One! May we have your name please?" Turg walked behind the little table in front of him and looked at the host, still having the dopey smile spread across his face, it seemed like he didn't even really know what was going on "Turg!" The host looked even more confused than they already were "Erm... Is Turg your name?" The other nodded "Turg Turg!" The host didn't want to know, they didn't care about asking, they'd just roll with it "Well uh... Welcome Turg Turg!" The host then moved to the other contestant Turg would be competing against "Annnd Contestant Number Twooo, what's your name?"

"Peyton!" (listen, they dont need a last name its fine and if thats your name by any chance reader, well, im very sorry to put you in this nightmare asjdfklsjhdfksla) The host grinned "Welcome Peyton! Alright audience, now that we've gotten acquainted with our contestants now we can begin the game! Noooww... The rules are simple! Very simple! We'll have fifteen questions, whoever buzzes in and guesses the correct answer wins a point! The person with the most points by the end of things will be the winner! And of course, the prize will be One-Hundred Thooouussaannd Dolllllaaaarrrssss~! Or, if the winner is feeling PARTICULARLY lucky, they will be given a bonus round where they can win even more money! In fact, they'll be winning Four-Hundred Thousand~!" The host glanced at Turg and looked towards the audience "Although... If I could, I'd just pay t h a t thing whatever it wanted just to get out of the building!"

(Jim’s not gonna care much bout the host insulting Turg now if it were him o h b o y- hahaha n o- but in this case like always- he wants money, who cares bout Turg)

Turg still had the smile on his face, as he heard the audience laugh he clapped even though they were technically making fun him, and then the music had cue'd, the host looked down at their paper "Alright! First Question~!" There was a pause before they continued "Can you name the THIRD largest freshwater lake in the world?" Turg had buzzed in, he honestly just pushed the button because it was glowing red, the voice in his ear piece had whispered the answer to him and surprisingly Turg understood "Turg says... Lake... Superior?" The host was surprisingly shocked and so was the other contestant and the audience, there was a dinging noise as the host spoke "Th...That is... Correct...! One point goes to a Mr. Turg Turg~! Wow... You are smarter than you look! And you look... Unholy... Eugh..." Turg just smiled and clapped "Turg do good!" The host nodded "Uh riiight... Anyways, next question! What is someone who shoes horses called?" Turg had managed to buzz in again before Peyton could, maybe it was because Peyton was still stunned at the other's intelligence.

Once again, the voice whispered the answer into Turg's earpiece "Turg think it... Farrier?" A shocked gasp resonated within the building, he was actually getting these correct... The host blinked in surprise "That is... Also... Correct, another point awarded to Turg, bringing him to a total of two~! C'mon Peyton! You should step up your gaaame~!" Peyton nodded, this time they'd buzz in, they were going to be prepared and focused...! "Third Question~! What kind of weapon is a falchion?" This time... Peyton had managed to buzz in "A Sword!" The host grinned and uttered out a correct and the audience and even Turg cheered despite them being correct meant they were one step closer to catching up, Jim was a little bit upset at that... He couldn't let them catch up! He'd think of something if he needed, after all he was one of the smartest people around! The host then cleared their throat before continuing "Alriiighty~! Fourth Question~!"

"What is another word for lexicon?" Turg had once again failed to hit the buzzer before Peyton, he seemed to be distracted at the moment much to Jim's dismay... "A Dictionary!" The host seemed delighted now "Cooorrreect~! Another point for Peyton, its a tie so far ladies, gentlemen, and all non-binary folks!" (yes, the host included nonbinary folk, why? Bc I can and am supportive, thats why) Jim grew angrier at this by the second, not by the host including non-binary folks, no, that's actually progressive and smart, and more game shows should do this, if he ran a game show he would do that ...That'd actually be a good idea, hosting his own game show, he should do that some time, he shook his head, he was losing focus! Anyways, he was angry because the other contestant was slowly catching up, it was almost break time so he had a backup plan already in the works just in case he needed to put a stop to that potential threat, then the host looked at both Turg and Peyton "Fifth Question and then we'll go to a commercial break~! Can you name the seventh planet from the sun?"

Peyton buzzed in "Uhh... Ve-Venus...?" They... Didn’t really know much about planets sadly... A noise played and the host shook their head "I'm sorry but that is iiinnncorrect~! Turg, its onto you~!" Jim once again whispered the answer into Turg's ear "Turg say it Uranus!" A resounding 'ding ding ding!' played "Coooorrreect~! So far, that leaves Turg at three and Peyton at twwooooo~! We'll be right back after these messages folks, stay tuned you don't wanna miss this~!" And with that, commercial break began, the host going off somewhere to get a drink, honestly despite one of their contests looking like a horrific monstrosity, he seemed smart! ...A little too smart for his own good, something was going on... It just didn't add up, how could something that seemed so... Out of it, something that seemed to be lost in its own little world be so smart?! The host would find out the truth soon enough, meanwhile backstage Peyton was sitting down and just thinking, they were unsure now if they could beat Turg... He was smarter than they give him credit for, and speaking of him... Peyton noticed that Turg had sat beside them "Oh, uh, hi Turg!"

Turg gave them a little wave, he seemed to notice their expression and he tilted his head "Turg make sad? Turg make... Uncomfortable?" Peyton shook their head "No no! You uh, didn't make me sad or uncomfortable, I was just thinking... You're really good at this game! I didn't expect it, if I'm being honest... While I would like to win, its been an honor competing against you!" Turg smiled "Turg think you good too! Turg need win though... Jim promise Turg jelly if he wins Jim the green paper stuff! Turg hope you understand" Peyton looked at Turg and blinked, they were a bit confused by that, but it wasn't really any of their business... The host however had overheard their conversation, well... At least they knew he had a motivation now as to why he's doing this, they then walked on back stage, time to look for this... Jim fellow... Maybe chatting with him would give them the answers they seek... They knew spying on others wasn't particularly... A good thing but they needed answers before they continued.

Eventually they had heard someone laughing backstage, that laugh unnerved them immensely, it sounded... unhinged... They crept up and hid behind one of the objects laying around backstage, meanwhile Jim himself was absolutely delighted, he seemed to be on the phone with someone from what the host could tell... "My plan is going so well! And I don't even have to do any of the work either, I'm tellin' ya Grim with the little earpiece I placed on Turg, m y victory is guaranteed~!   ...   What do you mean you don't think it'll work?! Well what do you know anyways?!" Jim hung up on this... 'Grim' person and sighed "I'll show Grim... I'm gonna rub it in his face when this works and I win the money" The host grinned and whispered to themselves "Not if I have anything to say about it... You greedy dirt bag...~" The host flinched as something fell over, this caught Jim's attention and immediately the host had crept away, didn't want the other to catch them in the act! Unbeknownst to them however, it was a little too late, Jim had spotted them right before they could get out of there, he'd definitely have to keep tabs on this one...

(I know the chance im taking by saying you greedy dirt bag but I can assure you I know what im doing by referencing even just a s m i d g e of that)

Meanwhile... The show was coming back on, everyone had gotten back into their places, and then after a countdown from five, the music played and the host had a big grin on their face, they would let the game play out until the end... But they knew what they were going to do, they were gonna expose Turg and Jim like the frauds they were! "Aannnnd we're back ladies, gentlemen, and of course can never forget the non-binary folks out there as well~! Alrighty, so once again, we have Turg in the lead with three buuuut... Peyton's not far behind folks~! They're only a little behind with only two points but they still have a chance to catch up~! From here on out the questions are going to be m u c h harder~! Onto the Sixth Question~! In "Thunderbirds", what was Lady Penelope's chauffeur called?" Peyton buzzed in immediately "Parker!" The audience clapped as the host spoke "Coorrecttt~! Oooh its a tie now~! Turg three and Peyton three! C'mon now Turg, don't let them beat you now, you've come sooo far~!" There was a pause before the next question "Seventh Question~! On "Blue Peter", what was John Noakes's dog called?" Turg buzzed in this time and listened as Jim whispered the answer "Turg says Shep!"

More clapping from the audience "Cooorreecct~! Turg four, Peyton three~! Eighth Question! What is sushi traditionally wrapped in?" It was Peyton's turn now to buzz in "Edible Seaweed!” Another one correct, despite the host knowing that Turg was cheating, this was still all so exciting! "Correct again~! Nineth Question! What is the oldest surviving printed book in the world?" Turg buzzed in this time and took a second as Jim once again helped out "Turg think it... The Diamond Sutra!" Another round of applause and cheers, the audience as loving this! "Correct! Tenth Question~! How tall would a double elephant folio book be?" Peyton buzzed in now "Fifty Inches!" A ding ding ding noise sounded but it was a little drowned out by the audience's cheers and applause "Cooorrrecct~! Alrighty folks, it looks like Turg and Peyton are once again tied! Five to five! Oh the suspense is killing me! Who will win this game and the prize~!" The questions went on and on... Each contestant buzzing in and getting them correct, eventually they came to the final question, the music got much more dramatic than before as the host's voice echoed throughout the building.

"Allriighty! Time for the f i n a l question folks! Among land animals..." The host paused before continuing, just adding to the dramatic flair "What species has the largest eyes?" Both buzzers went off but the host had been paying close attention to whose buzzer went off first and it was... "Turg! Do you have the answer!" Turg nodded, waiting for a few moments, he was a little confused as to why the host was coming in so close to him and looking at the side of his head, the host had seen the earpiece, just like Jim said was there... And they even heard a faint voice now that they were close enough give out the answer "Turg says... Ostrich!" There was a pause, the air was tense with suspension before balloons came floating down, confetti popped and cheery music played "Aaannnd cooonngraaatulations Tuuurrrrrrg! You arree the winner!" Jim immediately came out from backstage, walking up to hug Turg who immediately hugged him back and began clapping.

(lemme tell y’all when I used google to literally fact check every question I got off this one site, I was committed to getting this right, who knows google probs lied on some of them but I did my research as best I could just for this one lil fanfic and its more like a crack fic at this point just thought I’d point that out)

"But wait hold on! There's more folks!" The host immediately grabbed the earpiece from Turg's ear "I was waiting for this for the remainder of the show! Lookie here, lookie here! Turg is no winner folks! But a fraud, this man uh... Jim... has placed a little earpiece device on the ma.. er... monster... thing, whatever he is! He has been whispering the answers into Turg's ear! Their nothing but cheaters the both of them!" The audience along with Peyton had gasped, and then the audience started booing, Turg was confused however and just tilted his head until he heard the word cheater and looked back at Jim "Turg... cheat...? Turg do bad?!" Uh-Oh... Now Jim was caught, he didn't want to have to do this but his hand was forced ...Oh who was he kidding, he would LOVE to do this any day of the week! He brought out The Book of Chaos and began reciting something from the book, meanwhile the host was just speaking out towards Peyton and the audience "Sooo it looks like Peyton's the winner folk-" They paused as they looked back towards Jim, eyes widening in horror as they saw the man... Floating...?

His eyes looked demonic as he kept chanting the words from the book in an entirely foreign language, and just then... Fires consumed the host and began spreading rapidly, the exits were engulfed in flames in no time, and the screams of everyone echoed throughout the building, people trying desperately to find a way out, or the others who caught on fire trying to put themselves out, meanwhile Jim was casually whistling as he walked over and swiped the money, he should have just done this in the first place, it would have been so much easier! It's always easier to murder and steal than to... Okay well he didn't really play by the rules either he pretty much cheated at that too, either way! He got the money, and now he was happy, he grabbed Turg by the arm and just like that they were teleport-ed out of the building, Jim had only teleport-ed them a good bit away, he DID want to watch the building burn to the ground at the very least.

(listen, Idk how many powers Jim has- but if he can set people on fire, give them death kisses, and god knows what else he can teleport if he wants)

Turg was sitting on one of the parking blocks away from Jim, looking down at the ground, he was... Awfully quiet for once which made Jim look over and raise a brow "What's wrong with you?" Turg didn't speak, he just kept his gaze on the ground, he didn't want to watch the building burn unlike Jim, who blinked in surprise... This was the quietest Turg had been pretty much ever, so Jim was confused before he realized, was Turg... Angry with him...? "Look, Turg, I had to do what I did, I needed the green paper, the money! I needed to insure we won! Otherwise I couldn't have gotten you jelly!" There was a long moment of silence before Turg spoke up "You make Turg cheat, you make Turg do bad thing... You make Turg e v i l... Turg not forgive Jim... Nuh-uh..." Jim rolled his eyes "Come on Turg... It's not THAT bad! I could've made ya do w o r s e you know..." The sound of the entire building beginning to collapse took Jim's attention and the pair sat in silence, watching the building begin to fall in on itself, not a soul seemed to make it out of there...

Except... Oh no wait! There was somebody crawling out and away! Turg seemed to stand up at this and squint, he could see... It was Peyton! "That Peyton! Person Turg was competing against!" Jim looked ahead "Well, what a surprise! They made it out alive! ...A witness I'll have to make sure doesn't tell anybody who caused this..." He whispered the last part to himself, watching as Turg rushed off in Peyton's direction, once he got there he helped Peyton up who looked back at Turg "Ugh... Tu..Turg...? What... What are you doing here? Why did you come back...?" Turg looked at Peyton as he helped them to their feet "...Turg have something to say... Turg sorry... Jim made Turg do bad, Jim made Turg do evil thing... Jim... Lied to Turg..." Peyton looked at the other, they felt... Rather bad for him... He was manipulated into doing someone else's dirty work... "It's... It's alright Turg... Honest, I forgive you... You were tricked into doing something you would have never if you knew what it was, right?" Turg nodded "Turg never want to cheat, never want to be bad! Turg want good! Turg do good!"

Peyton nodded and smiled "Yeah... That's what I thought..." Before Peyton could say anything else, Jim had came over and immediately they backed away, Turg noticed this and stood in front of Peyton "Jim you go away! Turg protect new friend! They good, they kind!" Jim sighed "Turg, I'm not going to hurt them, I... eugh... I promise, and I would n e v e r break a promise!" That was a lie but... Turg was extremely gullible and he seems to believe this luckily for him... "I just need to talk to them for a second..." Turg slowly nodded and stood out of the way, but he was still going to stick close by, sure, there was no way he could or would hurt Jim, even if he did make him do a bad thing... Turg was a pacifist! But he would protect his friend in... SOME way... Jim had grabbed Peyton and pulled them close "Look, you can't tell anybody who did this... If you do, I'll kill you too, understand?" Peyton looked at Jim, and sure, that threat was terrifying but... They wanted to try something "...I'll keep quiet about this situation... Under one condition, just... hear me out..." Jim was silent, staring at Peyton in confusion "Go get your friend, Turg, some jelly... And APOLOGIZE to him...! He's very upset with you and rightfully so...!"

Jim groaned in frustration "Ugh, f i n e...! Fine...! If it'll make you and him get off my case about it and if it'll keep you quiet I'll go get him some damn jelly but I swear, if you go tell anybody after this... I'll-" Peyton cut him off "I won't, I swear it... Just if you do this ONE thing..." And with that Jim was off, and then Peyton sighed deeply, they were so thankful he was gone now... And he wasn't that close to them, after all, being near that man considering he just set the building on fire, killed multiple people and almost killed them as well, it was terrifying to even look at him... Turg though, they just wanted him to be happy, and not be sad or upset about this... Turg tilted his head "Jim... go away...? Just like... that?" Peyton nodded "He'll uh, be back soon... He needed to do something I think... For now let's just... Sit here, and talk for awhile..." and so both Turg and Peyton sat there, talking away and getting to know each other, it was almost nighttime when Jim came back, a large plate of jelly which made Turg's eyes light up, however, this could just be another trick, he turned away and kept his eyes away from the plate.

Jim looked at Peyton who encouraged him to go on... He took a deep breath and came closer to Turg "...Turg... Listen... I'm... I'm sorry about earlier, I'm sorry I lied to you and used to in order to gain profit, I shouldn't have done that ...To you anyways... So I uh, bought you some jelly... Just like I said I would... So uh, yeah..." Jim realized how... Awkward he sounded, he had never really apologized for anything before so this was a weird... Thing, either way, all he needed was Turg to forgive him and that was it... Turg was silent for a few minutes, his eyes slowly drifting back toward the jelly, no matter how many times he tried to resist he just couldn't help it, he grabbed the plate and immediately started consuming the jelly, he was about to consume the plate as well but Jim took it back from him "No no, let's uh, n o t eat the plate in front of your little friend there! That's uh, impolite or whatever!" Turg nodded and there was a long pause before Turg smiled "Okay... Turg forgive Jim...! Jelly was good!" Jim might not be... The best... But he at least honored his word of getting him some jelly!

It was a win in Turg's head at least, meanwhile Jim was just thankful that mess was over with, now he wouldn't have to deal with Turg being mad at him, and of course more importantly, Peyton wouldn't tell a soul now, it was set in stone! "We uh, should be getting home... It's late and some of us want to sleep" Turg nodded and turned back to Peyton "Turg's friend want stay? With us?" Peyton looked at Jim and then back at Turg "Aha no... No thank you... I've got my own place but don't worry Turg, I'm sure we'll see each other, I can uhhh... Come visit, whenever you'd like!" This made Turg smile and let out a series of... weird noises, but they sounded like happy ones! He looked thrilled which Jim immediately ruined the mood "Alright, alright, very touching, we're going now" Turg waved bye before being teleport-ed away with Jim... While Peyton didn't like Jim at all in the slightest, they would however be more than happy to visit Turg whenever he wanted...

The End.

I’ve never used “The End” I dont think in any of my stories but for once- there it is, it makes a cameo-

... I swear I tried my best y’all, you can tell happy endings eugh, arent my strong suit, but oh well no matter

[fmdminjoon-blog]

Hey cool people! I’m Alex, He/Him and stuck in GMT, and I’ve been looking at this group for quite a while, so I’m super excited to finally be here! Honestly I wasn’t expecting to be in the acceptances yesterday so I’m super unprepared right now and haven’t entirely finished his pages yet, but I wanted to throw up a quick introduction for my boy Nam Minjoon (aka. MJ, Alien’s lead rapper, lead dance and maknae). The basics are under the cut, his app can be found here, and I’ll update this later on tonight (Or possibly tomorrow) with links to a full bio, profile and plots. Apologies for the length, I have an unfortunate habit of rambling.

Thank you so much to everyone that’s sent me a message and made me feel so welcome, I’m gonna be responding to everything shortly. I’m probably a little easier to reach over on Discord so please feel free to add me over there at alexmcrw#7717 or let me know your handle! Or if it’s easier to speak through Tumblr ims, that works too. I’d love to get some plotting done and threads going, so if anyone would be interested in figuring something out please come shout at me, or like this post and I’ll fling myself at your inbox!!

Rambling intro over, now on to this clueless idiot.

personality.

The most important thing to know about MJ is that he has a compulsive need to be liked and feel accepted by those around him. He’s always thought that he’s needed to “prove” himself, and the idea of not being able to do that terrifies him.

He just wants people to think he’s cool, when in reality he is desperately uncool.

Low key a nerd and loves the extraterrestrial aspect of their concept. May or may not have introduced himself as MJ from planet Neptune more than once after debuting because he’s an embarrassing dork.

Desperate for affection. Pls love him.

Since joining the company has always felt kind of like an “outsider”, and thinks that people look down on him

Suuuuuper insecure, not that he’d ever admit to it.

Over-compensates for his insecurities and flaws by projecting a loud and energetic persona.

Can be very extra, and doesn’t know when to dial back his energy so can be a lot to deal with. Loses him as many friends as it wins him.

Basically a puppy.

All about that skinship and being your personal hype man, whether you ask for it or not.

Doesn’t really get upset or angry? Just laughs it off and bottles up his feelings like a perfectly healthy human being. Sure that won’t come back to bite him.

Doesn’t really know how to have a serious conversation. He’ll try his best, but responses will almost always be a variation on “Wow, that’s wild”.

Despite the fact that Alien are technically permitted to date, he’s never actually done it. The idea of getting attached to someone and them then leaving him is not attractive.

So instead he just goes through phases of looking at people with heart eyes and then never acting on it.

Takes his career and contract uber seriously. Please don’t insult his work or his group. (By which I mean someone please do that, obviously)

history.

Born October 27th, 1996 in Daegu

His childhood was, in all honesty, pretty average and uneventful. Adopted at a young age by parents who made a living working in textile manufacturing plants, so not much money but certainly not poor.

Doesn’t know his biological parents, doesn’t really care. (Well maybe he cares  a little).

Always been in love with the idea of celebrity, or at least the positive aspects of it, and knew as a kid that he wanted to be in entertainment.

Started auditioning for companies the week after his thirteenth birthday. Didn’t have a spectacular amount of talent, but hoped that charm and charisma would be enough to see him through.

Parents mostly agree to humour him and keep him quiet.

Failed the first seven. Passed the eighth.

Has to beg and plead with his parents to let him go, but wears them down.

When he gets to Dimensions he realizes how lonely it is? And lowkey hates it?

Feels inadequate compared to his peers, and still does to this day

Not as naturally talented as a lot of other trainees, a lot of whom look down on him for it

Tries to stay bright and cheerful, tries to win people over. Limited success on both fronts.

First few evaluations are abysmal, but after a few months focusing on his rapping and dancing he slowly improves.

Has literally no clue what he’s doing when he’s put in the Alien lineup. Tries to match their image, largely fails, has drastically improved since.

Debuts when he’s fifteen (A literal child) and somehow manages to go without disgracing himself or the group completely.

MJ persona not all that different from Minjoon. Fairly well established name in variety these days.

Didn’t really want to go through with the lawsuit, but when faced with the choice between the members and the company reluctantly sided with Alien

The backlash kind of broke him, and whilst the case was ongoing he basically dropped off the face of the earth and became super quiet and insular. Gives him... so much anxiety, and he’s still dealing with a lot of it.

Still a little bit of resentment towards the company and the other members for risking sinking the group, but never vocalised.

Just really wants to escape the shadow of it and rebuild. Trying to be the same old MJ as before, but something clearly different now.

[marypsue]

Raising Stakes 22 / 24

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen / Part Fifteen / Part Sixteen / Part Seventeen / Part Eighteen / Part Nineteen / Part Twenty / Part Twenty-One / Part Twenty-Two / Part Twenty-Three  / Part Twenty-Four

I’m also on AO3 as MaryPSue!

...

"We’re getting outta here.”

Jimmy’s voice from the other side of the cinderblock wall was heavy with exhaustion, a little skewed by the swelling from his blackened eye. Usually he flamed on and when his face came back, it was instantly healed, but...it really had been a spectacular shiner. Nice of him to keep it on so Stan could admire his own handiwork. “Listen. Kitten. We been over this a million times -”

“No. Shut up.” Stan rubbed his hands together, staring at the cross dangling from his cell bars. Whenever he blinked, it left neon afterimages on the inside of his eyelids. “I’m not spending any more of my life - undeath - whatever, fighting werewolves or harpies or - or you so some rich dickheads can get off on watching it. And neither are you. We’re gettin’ outta here.”

When Jimmy spoke again, his voice sounded unbearably heavy. “You think I haven’t tried?”

Stan huffed out a long breath. “I know, I know. But listen. I got a plan. And it’s gonna work.”

The cross stung Stan’s hand as he yanked it down off the bars, but it didn’t burn like he’d seen it do to Jimmy. It didn’t take long for him to strip the bars of his cell of all their Madonnas and crucifixes, and then it was just a matter of getting a shoulder in between the bars and pushing. Their captors kept him running pretty low on blood, probably to keep him from doing exactly what he was doing now, but right before and after a match they’d feed him up to make sure he was strong enough to kick ass in the ring and heal any injuries he got out there. Wouldn’t pay to put a monster out there that couldn’t put up a fight. Definitely wouldn’t pay to let their star slugger get permanently damaged.

It took longer than Stan would’ve liked, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure no guards were coming, and a few times the bars made an awful shrieking sound that he was sure would’ve given him away, but nobody came. Maybe they were all out drinking to another spectacular fight, and another happy client. Maybe they’d all gone home to bed, getting cocky because their security measures had held this long. Didn’t matter, so long as Stan didn’t get caught.

“C’mon,” Stan muttered under his breath, gripping one of the bars in one hand and shoving back as hard as he could against the one beside it with his shoulder. “Come on, you bastard, come on...”

With one final shriek, the bar Stan was holding onto gave way, bending like a licorice stick in a little kid’s fist. Stan grinned, and knew it was full of fangs.

Jimmy started when Stan stepped out in front of his cell door. “How -” he started, and then gaped when Stan reached up and tore down the two-foot-tall crucifix hanging from the cell’s bars. “What the hell?”

Stan turned the thing over in his hands, and then dropped it. It really did sting, more so the longer he held onto it. 

He started stripping the rest of the religious symbols from the cell door, ignoring the angry red marks that started to burn across his palms. “They did a pretty good job locking me up, but there’s one thing they forgot to consider.”

“Yeah?” Jimmy grunted, and Stan looked up to see him lazily flicking his flaming whip in the confines of the cell. It sizzled and burned down to embers wherever it touched the crosses that decorated the walls, but in the patches Stan had cleared on the cell door, it wrapped around the bars lovingly and left them scorched black. Stan had only seen Jimmy grin bigger when his head was literally a skull.

Stan flashed a grin right back. “They never thought maybe I might be Jewish.”

Jimmy pushed himself to his feet, crossing the cell to smile through the door at Stan. He gripped the bars with both hands, and flamed on, his face and the flesh of his hands burning away as crackling flames ate through them - and through the bars. 

Jimmy stepped forward as the bars melted away in his hands. Stan couldn’t be certain, given that Jimmy didn’t exactly have a face at the moment, but he was pretty sure Jimmy winked in his direction.

“Y’know, this is why you always win our fights,” he said, and Stan laughed.

“You sure it’s not ‘cause you keep throwing them because you don’t wanna mess up my handsome face?” 

Jimmy slung an arm around Stan’s shoulders, laughing, his face slowly reconstructing itself as the flames died away. “You’ll never know. C’mon, sugar, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

...

Susan started sputtering out threats as soon as Stan pulled the gag from her mouth. “You let me go, you - you - you!” she spat, a few drops of spit actually flying up to spatter the crash test dummy’s eyeless face. “You’ve been a very bad demon, or whatever you are, and you ought to be so ashamed of yourself!”

“Susan, it’s me!” Stan said, trying to work the dummy’s stiff, mitten-like hands around the knot tying her hands together. 

Susan sniffed, tossing her head back and jutting her chin forward. “Prove it, mister!” 

“If I wasn’t, would I be untying you?” Stan said, giving another tug on the knot. 

Susan’s expression turned thoughtful, but she kept her chin haughtily raised, glancing down sidelong at Stan. “Well...tell me something only Stan would know,” she said, finally, before blowing aside a lock of hair that had fallen out of her pouf of curls and into her eyes.

“Like what? I’ve known you for two days, tops,” Stan grumbled, cursing when his mitten-hands fumbled the knot, again. “Shit!”

“Yep, you’re Stan,” Susan said, decisively. “Why’re you a dummy?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for the last thirtyish years,” Stan muttered. “Long story short, if you see my body, stake it.”

“What?” Susan squawked, and Stan sighed. “What are you talking about?”

“Look, it’s not me, all right? It’s that...Bill guy.” The extension cord slipped free again, and Stan cursed under his - well, he didn’t really have breath to curse under, but he didn’t care enough to come up with a better way to put it. “Long story. Don’t ask.”

“Even if I really wanna?” Susan asked, and Stan wished he could roll the eye painted on his mannequin face. 

“He’s gonna be down here in a minute, I’m guessin’. Ford was yelling some nonsense about some portal thing, which...” He waved his hand in the general direction of the thing that was almost definitely the portal. 

Susan nodded understanding. “So how do we stop him?”

Stan stared at Susan, briefly, before turning back to the knot binding her wrists, which was finally starting to loosen. “I just told you. Put a stake in ‘im.”

“Well, I’m not going to do that,” Susan said, dismissively. “How’s that knot coming?”

“Terrible,” Stan said. “Stop wiggling.”

Susan sat still for a second or two, before her shoulders hunched forward and she said, “You don’t really want me to stake you, do you?”

Stan concentrated, hard, on wriggling his second thumb down into the knot beside the first. “I told you, that’s not me, it’s a murder demon in a monster suit. You’d be doing everybody a favour.”

“But - but what happens to you?” Susan asked, and Stan refused to feel guilty about the warble of worry in her voice. 

Stan shrugged one shoulder, and then pulled the dummy’s mitten-hands apart. Miraculously, this time they didn’t slip out of the knot, the knot pulling apart instead. Stan wished the dummy had a mouth to grin with as he untangled it. “Guess we’ll find out. Hey, can you take care of your feet? I’m gonna see if I can find Ford’s stupid crossbow.”

“Think he put it down back in the entryway upstairs when he was tying me up,” Susan said, nodding towards the window with the metal shutter that Stan had come in through. “I have to say, I know you care about him a lot, but I don’t think that brother of yours is a very nice man.”

“That wasn’t Ford, that was Bill,” Stan said, shortly. 

“No, it was your brother,” Susan answered. “He wasn’t very happy about me breaking in.”

Stan tried to come up with words, couldn’t.

“Yeah, alright,” he said, finally. “Dammit, Ford.”

He pushed himself to his mannequin feet, taking a moment to steady himself. The dummy was lighter and more top-heavy than Stan was used to, and he wobbled a few times before overbalancing and tumbling head over heels back to the ground. He lay flat on his back, staring up at the tangle of wiring and pipes criscrossing the ceiling, and figured that if he’d been human, he’d probably be trying to catch his breath right about now. The dummy couldn’t really feel pain - or much of anything, to be honest - but he still muttered, “Ow.”

There was a sound from Susan’s direction that sounded suspiciously like a snort of laughter. Stan ignored it, pushing the dummy back up to its feet. “All right. Ford said Bill was after this portal thing. If we can’t get at the crossbow to take him out, next best plan is we shut this thing down somehow.”

“Well, I like that idea a whole lot better,” Susan said, unwinding the last of the extension cord from around her ankles. “How d’we do that?”

Stan looked around the base of the portal. “You see a plug anywhere?”

“Noooo,” Susan said, and Stan looked up at the quaver in her voice. She was staring back over his shoulder, at the shuttered window Stan had come in through. And the open door.

And the elevator door on the far wall, which gave a cheerful ding! and slowly slid open.

Stan couldn’t help but stare.

The last time he’d seen himself so bloody, he’d just chewed his way out of a car trunk and through four of Rico’s goons. And even then, he was pretty sure eh’d never looked so maniacal. It was something about the smile. Or maybe it was how wide Bill kept his eyes. Or maybe the way he moved, a little too fast in jumps and starts, like an enormous, overgrown spider. Whatever it was, though, something about just the sight of Bill would’ve made Stan’s skin crawl, if he’d still been in it.

Of course, Stan was pretty sure he’d never made a habit of dragging his meals around by the neck and waving a crossbow in their faces, either.

Bill flung Ford out of the elevator before stepping out himself, that nasty, sharp grin growing impossibly wider at the sight of the portal. For one heart-stopping moment, Ford didn’t move, lying in a heap of dirty trenchcoat and awkwardly-sprawled limbs on the lab floor. What Stan could see of Ford’s face was pale, almost greyish, and the hand he held pressed against the side of his neck was slick with too-dark blood.

Bill laughed, that horrible, sickening laugh that made Stan’s dummy hands clench into mitteny fists, and reached down to grab the collar of Ford’s trenchcoat, hauling him to his feet. “Oh, come on, Fordthy! You’re not giving up on me yet! Where’th your fighting thpirit?” Bill grinned expectantly, then threw Stan’s head back and cackled. “Oh, right! He wath in that thkeleton I thmathed!”

Ford made a quiet, pained sound in the back of his throat, like a kicked dog. 

Before Stan really knew he meant to move, he was already charging across the lab and through the door. Bill looked up just as Stan slammed full-tilt into Bill’s middle, throwing both arms around his waist in a full-body tackle. It should have knocked Bill to the ground. And it probably would have, if Stan had had a real body with any weight at all. 

As it was, at least Bill let go of Ford to shove Stan’s mannequin body right in the middle of his drawn-on eye. Stan stumbled back, into some kind of console. Something shifted behind him when his elbow rammed into it, and a low hum started to fill the room, but Stan didn’t have time to pay it any attention.

“Well, would you look at that!” Bill laughed, advancing on Stan, Ford apparently forgotten. Over Bill’s shoulder, Stan could see Ford trying to push himself up on one trembling arm, only to collapse back to the floor. “Thtanley Pineth! You really are a glutton for punithment, huh?”

The dummy’s drawn-on eye couldn’t blink. Bill just seemed to vanish right in front of Stan’s eye. Stan didn’t even have time to react before he was suddenly airborne.

The dummy didn’t have nerves, so it didn’t hurt when Bill flung Stan’s mannequin body straight into the wall of computer towers. Snippets of the room flashed past as his dummy head wobbled on its neck, Bill’s eyes shining yellow from the dark ceiling, the dummy's limbs flailing past his line of sight, the lights flickering in the computer towers, Susan at the doorway, Ford lying on the floor beside him.

The floor didn’t actually shake when Bill landed beside Stan’s head, but Stan would’ve believed it had. Stan didn’t even have time to get his bearings before he was back in the air, hauled up by one arm to dangle, eye to scribbled-on-eye, with Bill.

“You Pinetheth really don’t know how to quit when you’re ahead!” Bill chirped. Stan watched his fangs flash, horrified fascination freezing him in place. No wonder Ford had thought he was a monster. “You’ve been working hard tonight! I think it’th time you took a - break!”

Stan tried to pull free, but the dummy was useless. He couldn’t do anything but watch helplessly as Bill grabbed his other arm and yanked it clean out of its socket.

Bill looked at it, and then half-shrugged one of Stan's shoulders. "Okay, tho that wath more of a rip. The joke thtill workth though, right? Right?"

“You - you put him down!”

Bill paused, with Stan dangling from one arm, the dummy’s arm dangling from the other. They both spun, to see Susan standing in the doorway.

With the crossbow pointed directly at Stan’s body.

“I mean it, mister!” Susan said, giving the crossbow a jab in Bill’s direction. "Drop him, right now, or - or I’ll stake you right through the heart!”

The low hum Stan had heard earlier had grown louder, he realised, filling the silence that dragged on for what felt like an hour.

Finally, Bill gave a little snort. And another. And then broke into full-blown laughter.

“Oh! Oh, really?” he asked, his grin like a crescent moon slicing across Stan’s face. “Hey, jutht how many timeth have you fired one of thothe thingth before?”

Susan’s shoulders stiffened, for just a moment before her face pinched with determination. 

“Does it matter?” she asked, readjusting her aim. 

“Matterth if you plan on hitting the heart on the firtht try!” Bill said, brightly. 

Susan bit her lower lip.

“Susan, quit messing around, shoot him already!” Stan yelled, but Susan still stood frozen in the doorway. The tip of the crossbow bolt traced wobbly figure eights in the air as her hands shook.

“You know what?” Bill said, tossing Stan and the dummy arm both aside. Stan landed on his back, and tried to scramble to his feet, but without his right arm, that was easier said than done. 

Bill threw both arms wide, and took two jaunty steps towards Susan, who flinched backwards but, to her credit, didn’t drop the crossbow. “Here ya go, kid! Thith’ll be fun! Do your wortht!” The pale blue light from the outer room glinted off of his extended fangs, turned the crust of blood coating his chin and neck almost black as he stalked towards Susan like a cat approaching a cornered mouse. “Come on, Lazy Eye! Thee what you can hit! Take - a -”

Whatever Bill had been about to say was cut abruptly short by a whistle of displaced air, and a soft thunk. Bill looked down, eyes widening in surprise, at the inch of crossbow bolt sticking out of the middle of his chest.

“Well, thit,” he said.

Susan whimpered, dropping the crossbow. It went off with a twang, its bolt clattering harmlessly against the concrete floor. 

From the elevator, Carla’s voice said, “You got that right.”

Stan spun, without even bothering to try to pick himself up off the floor.

Carla stood silhouetted against the dim light beaming from the slowly-closing elevator door, her hair wild and catching the light like the halo of an avenging angel, her outstretched arm with the crossbow pistol extended like the hand of fate. She’d never looked so beautiful.

“Carla?” Stan breathed, and Carla’s eyes flicked over to him in confusion, just for a second, before fixing back on Bill. Or, rather, where Bill had been. 

Carla shouted in surprise as Bill lunged at her, and fired twice. One bolt caught him in the collarbone, the other in the shoulder, just above the heart. Bill staggered back, that stupid smile wiped off his face for the first time.

Stan pushed himself up, and threw himself at Bill again. This time, he didn’t waste time with the tackle. Instead, he swung out with his remaining arm, knocking Bill backwards with the punch that had won him so many boxing medals. 

Bill staggered backwards, and finally crashed over onto the console he’d pushed Stan up against earlier. And the symbol etched into its side, glowing a burning yellow. Literally.

The dummy didn’t have a nose for Stan to smell the singed hair and scorched flesh, but the sizzle and Bill’s shrieks told him everything he needed to know about what he was missing out on. He couldn’t help but wince as something glowing an eye-searing yellow and screaming shot out of his own body’s back, his body slumping forward to reveal the symbol branded on its right shoulder. 

“Shit,” Stan muttered to himself. “That’s gonna hurt.”

The dummy didn’t have teeth to grit, but Stan braced himself as best he could, before shaking off the dummy and shooting back into his own body.

It hurt.

The burn on his shoulder took all of his attention at first, a searing, white-hot pain that ate up his entire arm and half his back. He sucked in a breath without thinking, and that was when he felt the crossbow bolts, one, two, three sticking out of him. Stan curled forwards, hugging his own sides, embarrassed by but unable to stop the keening noise that spilled out of his mouth.

Susan bent down, not taking her eyes off of Stan’s slightly-smoking body, and scooped up the crossbow. Carla, on the other hand, marched across the room, and gave Stan’s knee a kick. 

“Stanley Pines,” she said, and Stan managed to raise his head just enough to see her glaring down at him. “You’ve got one hell of a lot of explaining to do.”

Stan managed a sheepish smile. “Would you buy that I actually did eckthplain everything, and your memory jutht got erathed?”

Carla just stared for a moment longer, before rolling her eyes. “Normally I’d say no, but this has been...a very weird night.”

“Stanferd!” 

The shout from the elevator made Stan whip around, a move he instantly regretted. Through the tears that sprang up in the corners of his eyes, though, he could see the hunched shape of Fiddleford McGucket scramble across the room to where Ford was lying, no longer moving. 

Carla followed Stan’s gaze, before turning back to him. “You’re lucky I ran into that man on my way out of town. Well. Into his giant robot, anyway. Did we...we asked him for something to do with this house, didn’t we?”

Stan tried to nod, and quickly thought better of it. “Needed an invitation.” He reached up, and gingerly tried to grip the crossbow bolt that had lodged by his collarbone with his right hand. It didn’t work. His hand wouldn’t close properly, and just trying to move his arm sent shooting pains all up and down his back. “Ah! Ohhh...thit.”

“Here,” Carla said, gently brushing Stan’s hand away and plucking the crossbow bolt out of his shoulder in one swift movement. Stan hissed in a breath, and Carla shot him a sympathetic grimace. “ I...don’t think you were quite that feral last time we talked. What got into you, anyway?”

“Little one-eyed triangle bathtard,” Stan said, shortly. He concentrated, for a moment, feeling his fangs slip slowly and grudgingly back into place. “Is Ford okay?”

Carla looked confused for a second, before recognition dawned. “Wh- Bill? Stan, how did -” She stopped, letting out a sigh as she stared, exasperated, at Stan. “Stan, you didn’t.”

“Had a plan,” Stan gasped. The burning was coming in waves, now, pulsing between bearable and unbearable heat. “Didn’t work. Got a new plan. How’s Ford?”

Carla glanced over towards Ford, and then back to Stan. The look on her face told him everything he needed to know.

“No,” Stan said, shaking his head despite the way it pulled at the probably-cauterized skin on his back. 

“Stanley,” Carla started, but Stan reached out and tried to push her aside with his injured arm as he got to his feet.

“No. That’s not -” It felt like every step was a million miles, but Stan staggered over and dropped to his knees beside his brother. 

Ford had never let Stan forget who was the older twin, but now, wrapped up in his trenchcoat and lying motionless on the concrete, he looked impossibly young, small, fragile. 

Stan smacked his injured fist against the concrete floor, biting his lip until he tasted copper. “No! Dammit, you asshole, get up! I got myself branded to save your stupid genius behind! This isn’t how it ends! This isn’t -” The word fair stuck sideways in Stan’s throat, leaving him feeling like he’d swallowed a knife. “You can’t - I just got you back!”

“Stanferd?” 

Stan tried to hit the floor again, couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than let his hand drift down to rest, shaking, on the floor beside the tangle of Ford’s hair. In the puddle of rapidly-congealing blood that trickled out from underneath it.

He shook off the comforting hand that McGucket tried to rest on his shoulder, but the man’s words weren’t so easy to brush aside. “Stanferd, I don’t rightly know what you done this time, but it’ll be all right -”

“I’m not him, McGucket,” Stan sighed. It took what felt like the most effort anything had every taken in his whole life - or unlife - but he managed to push himself back up to his feet. Ford’s lab assistant looked up at him from his crouch, hands tucked close in to his chest like some kind of frightened animal, and Stan let out another sigh. “He’s - he’s down there.”

“Stan,” Susan said, and Stan pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, staring down at the toes of his ratty boots.

“No, Susan, save it. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Okay, but,” Susan pressed on, and it was only then that Stan heard the quaver in her voice. “Is this thing supposed to be doing that?”

Stan looked up.

Out in the greater room, in the middle of the upturned triangle, a ring of rainbow light was slowly rotating. As Stan watched, the ring turned faster, and faster, until the rainbow blurred into a circle of pure white light.

In the dead centre of the hulking machine, the portal sparked slowly to life.

And, quiet at first, but quickly growing louder, the lab filled with the sound of Bill Cipher’s cruel laughter.

[lukeysgirl]

Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.17

                                       Part S E V E N T E E N 

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 4k+

A/N: bEFORE YOU READ THIS, I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY. 1. sexual assault is not okay and i do not advocate it at all. theres a bit in there (not too descriptive) that i just want to warn about. and also keep in mind that i dont hate nia or anything, im just making a juicy story. okay, das it. hope you enjoy and please get this to 100 notes !! 

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]  

                                                  I M A G I N E 

Hilton Hotel, NYC, 7:25 P.M. 

“I already don’t trust this,” Luke whispered by your ear as the two of you stared at the embrace Calum shared with Nia. You couldn’t help but agree with Luke on this one. Even though it’s just a hug and nothing more, you now knew their history and noticed how she is holding him. 

She was intimidating, you had to admit. Her body had been perfect, with well-done hair and perfect cake worth of makeup. Her confidence was beyond you, wearing such small clothing to show off her belly and toned, long legs. And with the way she was staring at Calum when she pulled away from him, you could tell that she adores him just as much as you did. 

“The rest of the guys want to see you, Cal!” Nia cheered, her smile immensely wide as she wrapped her arms around one of his. Calum glanced over at you, pleading as he gave her an annoyed expression. “It’s been so long-- let’s head inside!” 

“I can enter without you dragging me, thank you,” Calum began as he retrieved his arm from her grip. He quickly grabs you over and wraps his arm around your waist once more. “Have you met my beautiful girlfriend yet, Nia? This is Y/N.” 

“Hi!” Nia said happily, rushing into you to give you a hug. You felt awkwardly uncomfortable. It was hard to think this girl was hugging you when it’s obvious you’re making her seethe. Especially because you won the heart of the man she adores so much. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said quietly, reluctantly wrapping your arms around her as you stood in the embrace. But as you guys hugged, Nia grabbed a bit of your shirt from the back and put her mouth closer to your ear. 

“Stay away from him for the night, m’kay?” Nia said softly, her words stuck with a bit of poison. When she pulled away, you stared at her. Her aim was to vex you with those words. And as much as you were tempted to tell Calum, you didn’t find it too worth it. After all, Calum was yours and not hers. 

But you noticed that when she looked over to Michael, he was right beside you. He was leering at her with those green eyes of his, having her back up a bit before turning back to give Calum his attention. You looked worriedly over at Michael, who shrugged it and gave you a soft smile. 

“Boys!” Nia called to all of them. “We have an area secluded for us. Let me get you a drink, CalCal.” As One OK Rock and Lashton walked inside, Nia turned back to you and smirked. “You can roam around if you’d like. It’s a party, you can have fun without Calum for a bit.” 

With that, she grabbed Calum’s hand and dragged him inside, having him look at you with sad eyes before disappearing in the crowds. Michael took initiative and guided you inside before closing the door behind the both of you. As much as you were digging the hype vibe, you couldn’t help but worry a bit. 

“I wouldn’t trust that girl, either,” Michael snarled. He bent down to speak right into your ear as the music was blasting. Lights of pinks and blues danced around with the party goers who were also talking over the music. “She’s a tricky one, she is.” 

“It’s not just that,” you breathed, placing one of your hands on your stomach. “I feel so bad for not trusting Calum 100%. I’m scared something’ll happen.” Michael wrapped his arm around your shoulders and gave you a gentle squeeze. 

“I understand, but don’t worry too much, yeah?” Michael tried to reassure. “Calum is really obsessed with you. If he does anything, I doubt it was by his free will.” You nodded, gulping your nerves down as Michael led you to the bar. 

“We’re already drinking?” You asked in a bit of shock, nudging the bleach-haired boy softly. He nodded vigorously, quickly getting the bartender to get two beers and two shots. “Already?” 

“You’re drinking with me, loser,” Michael gushed, having you playfully roll your eyes as the bartender returned with two Coronas and 2 shot glasses. You grabbed one of the shots, clinking it with Michaels before the both of you swallowed the substance whole. 

“Fuck, that’s strong,” you winced, feeling the poison burn down your throat. Michael nodded, couching a bit before grabbing his beer to take a swig of it. You took a swig of yours as well, attempting to wash off the rest of the shot from your throat. 

“Right? Holy shit,” Michael said, seeming very exhilarated from it. You giggled as Michael began to chit chat about stupid things regarding the management and Abigail Breslin. And it was nice to share stories and laughter with Michael, but your head was still thinking about Calum with Nia. But nonetheless, it was a pleasant time with Michael. 

“I better bolt soon,” Michael began as he checked his phone. “I have to be in their Snaps and whatnot so Hi or Hey has loving and ‘very close’ bands signed on their label.” 

“Understood,” you assured Michael, having him give you a nice, genuine embrace. As he let go, though, Crystal was suddenly beside the both of you with a wide smile. “Oh-- hello, Crystal!” 

“Y/N! How’re you?” The sweet, pink-haired girl rushed into your arms and gave you a hug. She was very kind to you, even if Michael always seemed to be fairly close to you. It made her seem like a spectacular girlfriend in comparison to yourself. 

“I’m well, and yourself?” You asked softly as you drank down your 2nd beer. 

“Also well, m’love!” Crystal gushed as she went to Michael and gave him a loving kiss. She wrapped her arms around Michaels lovingly, making your heart pause just thinking about Calum. You wondered if Nia was doing that to Calum right now. Nuzzling up against that strong bicep, staring at those meaningful tattoos of his. You felt sick just thinking about it and how paranoid you were being. 

“Oh hey, Y/N!” Crystal stole you from your thoughts as you stared back at the model before you. “Nick Jonas is looking for you, y’know.” Nick? He’s here? And he’s looking for you? 

This party is proving itself to be a bad idea. 

“O-oh, okay,” you choked up a bit. “I suppose I’ll go try and look for him. I’ll be seeing you two around, yeah?” The couple nodded, having Michael flash you some sad eyes before you lost yourself in the crowds of people once more. 

You weren’t even sure where to look, but you definitely didn’t want to 3rd wheel those two. The dancing bodies were collecting sweat and sharing energy as you struggled to weave yourself through them. But their energy was enough to make you feel breathless and you decided to forget about the Jonas brother. You fled outside to the large balcony, seeing less people residing there. 

Letting out a sigh, you walked slowly to the rail and hung your arms off of it. With the beer in your hand, you stared at the city and how the night sky highlighted the lights. New York City truly was beautiful at the night. It was too bad you couldn’t share such a lovely sight with your boyfriend. But what can you do? 

It wasn’t until now that you thought about how different your life was compared to Calum’s. This boy was travelling the world, delivering music and doing what he loves to do. He goes to parties with models and famous people who know his name like the back of their hands. Fans from all over go head over heels just seeing him on a photo. What’s gonna happen when you return to uni? Is he gonna drop you and snag a model who can go wherever because shes beautiful and wealthy? Will you just become a faded memory?-- 

“Y/N?” 

You suddenly turned around to find Nick Jonas right in front of you. He gave you his kind smile, with his teeth shining through with ease. He looked exhilarated, like this party fever was just a part of his blood stream. He opened up his arms to you, having you hesitate before going into them. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Nick,” you said softly with a smile. He looked at you, those eyes full of the same stuff that Calum stares at you with. But it was different. Nick’s stare didn’t drive your heart over the speed limit. 

“And you as well!” Nick said. “Look at you-- you look absolutely stunning right now, Y/N. How has the tour been treating you so far?” 

“Well, I’d hope!” You say sheepishly. You were wearing these black skinny jeans with a pastel pink sweater. With converse to cover your feet, you didn’t think much of your look. It was simple and sweet. “It seems you’re doing just as well as I last saw you, ay?” 

“I mean, I’m still disappointed about last time,” Nick said with a nervous chuckle. “Which I do want to apologize to you for. You were vulnerable and I just assumed that maybe kissing me would make you feel better. But I was greedy and honestly, I think you’re something amazing, Y/N.” 

“Th-thanks, Nick, I appreciate that...” You thanked him softly, looking down so he didn’t see your pink-tinted cheeks. 

“How did everything work out with that crush, by the way?” Nick asked with pure wonder. “--That is, if you want to tell me!” 

“Oh, um,” you began awkwardly, smiling a bit. “We actually got together. In fact, my crush was the boy who pulled us away before we could kiss.” 

“Wait, your crush is... Calum Hood?” Nick asked lowly. 

“W-well, he’s now my boyfriend, but yes,” you said softly. By his shocked expression, you felt like it was... wrong. “I-is there a problem?” Nick shoved his hands in his pockets before merely shrugging. 

“I dunno, that guy has hooked up a lot when we both happen to be at the same parties,” Nick said nonchalantly. “I guess I’m just surprised. At Calum for finding such a great catch like yourself and at you for liking someone like... him.” 

“Watch yourself, Jonas,” you semi-teased. You were definitely defending your boyfriend, but you were getting a bit tipsy. “That boy and I have history. I’ve loved him since secondary school.” 

“Ah, so it’s a childhood crush?” Nick asked. 

You began to tell Nick the story about meeting the boys as he led you back inside the suite. He guided you over to the bar and got you more drinks on his tab. The more you were being given, the faster you were losing to intoxication. Your body was loosening up, your chest was calming its paranoia, and Calum was quickly fading from your thoughts. 

You were losing your sober state to the power of poison disguised as alcohol. 

8:50 P.M. 

“Baby, I like your style!” You sang, with the people crowding you simply cheering you on. 

You were completely intoxicated, only able to feel the buzzing spreading all over your body. Nick dragged you all over the place, introducing you to new faces that you’ve seen on TV plenty. And instantly, they fell in love with you and followed your wild-self around. It was good to feel recognized and somehow appreciated. 

So there you were, with your sweater lifted a bit up to show off your belly to the crowd. You were swaying your hips to Drake, feeling the music surge through your body. You did several provocative movements, such as groping your breasts and biting your lips as everybody ate it up. It felt good to be watched and be a pleasurable view. 

“Yas, Y/N! Slay bitch!” Girls, who became your new friends, cheered you on as they rushed to join you. There you were with several models, grinding on one another and started some sort of twerking circle. You wouldn’t be doing this regularly, but your head was way out of space to even think. 

“I need a one dance, got a Hennessy in my hand!” You sang with the girls, feeling them grab your waist and dance with you. It was wild, but you felt so free and full of life. The girl dancing with you, a nice dark chocolate, was weaving her legs between yours to grind on one another while dancing. You wrapped your arms around her waist to keep her close, feeling the beat in sync with her. 

As the song came to a finish, the girls had slapped your ass before you dizzily tried leaving the circle. Nick was quick to your rescue, holding your arms to keep you on your feet. You looked over at him and started laughing, somehow in disbelief that Nick Jonas was in your presence. 

“Woah there, Princess!” Nick said with a chuckle. “Relax, I got you.” He began walking you over to the bar. Sitting you down on the spinning stool, you began to spin yourself as Nick ordered a Martini. 

“Wee, this is so fun!” You squealed, giggling uncontrollably as you spun. Nick quickly grabbed you, stopping you from spinning by his hands clinging on your waist. He chuckled at you, but you were surprisingly upset with him. “Why’d you stawp meee?” 

“Because you’ll get even more dizzy!” Nick exclaimed as he gave you an enthused smile. “And I don’t want this beautiful lady to get more dizzy.” You giggled again, placing your hand on Nick’s lips to keep him from talking. 

“If Calum heard you say that to me, he’d get so angry!” You gushed, giggling at the thought of your jealous boyfriend. You imagined his head blowing up like an airhead. Nick took your hand in his and gave it a gentle kiss on the top. 

“He’s too busy sucking lips with another woman, though,” Nick said, his tone seeming sympathetic but his lips were curved in a light smirk. You felt your heart hurt a bit from hearing them, though. You grew pale, looking at Nick with disbelief as he held your wrists. “You don’t believe me? C’mere.” 

After forcing the Martini down, Nick walked you over to the middle of one of the huge living rooms of the suite. You have literally been all over the suite except for one area. It was the room where Calum and the other bands were hanging out at. You had no idea why they were so secluded, but you did see some of the party goers go back and forth from the place. 

“Go down over there and you’ll see for yourself,” Nick instructed you, giving your shoulders a light squeeze before pushing you gently. You nodded, glancing behind a little to see Nick tap at his phone. “I’ll be waiting right here for you!” He yelled, giving you a soft smile. 

You walked down, your legs feeling heavy as you transition from a lively room dancing to Rather Be into a more quiet, tamed room. Unlike the bright lights from before, this room was ornate with dark reds and blacks. The soft bass from Passionfruit was playing, feeling Drake suck you up again. As you walked, you entered a more chill room with sensual dancers. 

You noticed Michael and Crystal among the dancers, seeing them talk and laugh softly to one another. It made you smile to see Michael so content with his life at the moment. Scanning some more, you noticed Ashton doing a bit of drinking with a few guys and girls at the bar. Turning some more, you saw Luke at the corner with a phone in his ear and frustration in his face. You looked much harder for Calum. 

Then you spotted him. 

He was in a booth with Nia. Across from her were 2 more girls, a blonde who was smiling politely. The other looked like Nia cloned herself just to be with Calum twice as much. It made you almost vomit to see 2 of her near Calum. As you were walking over to rip your boyfriend away from her, Nia suddenly grabbed his shift and pulled him onto her. Nia’s blue eyes shifted at you to give you a brief wink. 

Their lips touched. 

Overwhelming emotion overcame you as you quickly turned around and ran out of the room. You couldn’t even dare stay to watch. You went back to the loudness and the insane energy, with tears building in your eyes. Your hands were shaking and you didn’t even want to move anymore. But you needed to be as far away from Calum as possible. 

“Y/N?” Nick called to you, having you tilt your head up as you quickly rushed into his arms. He held you close in his warm embrace, making you feel somewhat safe as you cried into his shirt. You felt bad for dirtying his shirt with a bit of makeup, but you couldn’t help it. Your heart was broken. 

“You were right,” you cried, your hands grabbing harshly at Nick’s shirt at his chest. “He... he kissed... her...” You sniffled harshly, feeling your bottom lip quiver as Nick held you stronger. 

“It’s okay, Y/N, please stop crying!” Nick insisted as he quickly whistled at someone. You watch as someone passed him a water bottle before he began guiding you up a flight of stairs to the roof. You didn’t want to do anything, but Nick insisted as he opened the door to reveal the rooftop to you. He tossed you the water, which you gulped down quickly. 

It was beautiful. Several couches and beach chairs were laid out all over, with Christmas lights wrapped around the poles to spread all over. Tables were scattered with candles and empty bottles of beer. It was pretty vacant, surprisingly. Nick guided you over to a fairly quiet part of the balcony by a railing. He leaned you against it, just like Calum did when the two of you were at the park. 

“Stop crying, okay?” Nick whispered at you, his nose practically 2 inches from yours. His eyes contained an intensity that reminded you of Calum’s whenever he was speaking seriously. “You’re so beautiful to be crying over someone who doesn’t even deserve you.” 

“I just... how can he do that to me?” You began shakily, feeling your hands shake uncontrollably. Nick rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth. 

“Fuck Calum, when you can have a man like me.” Nick growled seductively before latching his lips onto your nick. Kisses were being planted on your neck, having some sort of pleasure jolt inside you. His tongue was swiping along it as he nibbled on your neck. 

He rose a bit and began to kiss your jawline, feeling his chin hair tickle you slightly. Your eyes were completely shut, too intoxicated to realize much. The pleasure was playing with your heart too much, having you love the way these pair of lips felt on your neck. You randomly found yourself thinking it was Calum. 

But Nick’s hands suddenly grabbed your waist, slipping under your shirt to touch your tender skin. His fingers were rough, but there were smooth callouses on them. It was very unlike Calum’s. Calum doesn’t even bother trying to make his hands soft. That’s what makes him so unique and familiar. 

You realized then that it wasn’t your beloved boyfriend. Opening your eyes, you look down to feel Nick dig his hands into your jeans. You quickly placed your hands on his chest and tried pushing him away, but he was strongly stood in front of you. 

“N-Nick, please stop...” You whispered, using all yoru stretch to push the Jonas brother away from you. But that only caused him to bite gently on your neck. You moaned harshly with pure distaste in your tone. 

“Let me show you a good time, Princess,” Nick growled on your neck as his hands clasped at your underwear. He used one of his hands to pull your jeans from your body so the other had more space to roam. You felt his hand touch the beginnings of your no-no zone, causing you to freak out even further. 

“Nick, fucking stop!” You screamed, dropping your hands down to grab his wrist and pull it away. Although it was somewhat working, he was still rather strong as his hand stayed against your warm skin. “Calum! Calum, please!” You pleaded for your boyfriend, your sadness completely being replaced with desperation. You shut your eyes, feeling your force give out as Nick went deeper into your pants. 

But, within seconds, Nick’s lips were gone from your neck and his hand was removed from your pants. 

Opening your eyes, you see Calum looking down angrily at a fallen Nick. You looked down to see Calum’s fist, with was shaking from the adrenaline of punching the Jonas brother. Your heart began to race, seeing the fury of Calum’s heaving chest as he glared. 

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Calum spat at you, having you look at him to collect tears in your eyes again. He looked mad-- no, he is mad. His brown eyes intensely looked at yours, reminding yourself of the only stare that goes straight into your heart. 

“Don’t ‘what the fuck’ my cousin like she did something wrong!” Ashton barked as the boys came rushing over. “She was crying your fucking name and pleading for damn help! You think she enjoyed that?” 

Why are you so angry with me?

“Why the fuck was she even with him in the first place?” Calum barked back, keeping his eyes in you as Michael and Luke walked over. You lost your gaze with Calum for a moment, feeling yourself feel woozy and sick from everything. 

You left me alone. 

“Before you start blowing your fucking lid off,” Michael began, going over to you to rest a hand on your shoulder. You flinched. “Let’s put our attention to how Y/N was just fucking sexually assaulted.” Michael looked over at Nick and spat out rude Australian terms. 

“But he has tried to fucking kiss her before, mate!” Calum hissed at Michael. “You’d figure she’d know better and avoid this asshole.” Calum glared at Nick, who was sitting up and rubbing his cheek where he was punched. 

Then why didn’t you stay with me?

“She always sees the best in people, Calum,” Michael rolled his eyes. “Also keep in mind that you left her. Fucking look at her-- Jesus, she’s fucking trembling, mate!” 

“I didn’t want to-- we had to do that thing for the management!” Calum tried to defend. “You had to go, too!” 

Your job is before me, isn’t it?

“Yeah, but I brought my fucking girlfriend along!” Michael barked. “This wouldn’t have happened if you fucking didn’t submit to Nia and brought your fucking girlfriend with you! Fuck the management when you have your one and only to fucking take care off!” 

“At least Y/N didn’t fucking cheat,” Luke spat. “You and Arzaylea would be great for one another.” Calum looked like he wanted to punch Luke as well. But you were slowly shutting them out as they bickered among themselves. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, your heart wouldn’t stop racing, and your body was so tempted to vomit. 

Everything went too fast, far too fast. The boy’s words were fading from your ear as you remember the way you were being touched. Not by Calum, but by another man. His job was more important than you. Why? Why wasn’t he there? Why didn’t he bring you or stay with you. Everything you want to say can’t be said. They won’t come out. 

You quickly ran into Ashton’s arms and grabbed onto his shirt with both hands. You curled them tightly as you pressed your face against his chest. He was taken aback a bit, taking it in immediately before wrapping one arm around you with the other hand patting your head. 

“I want to go home now,” you whimpered against your cousin’s chest. All the boys silenced themselves as they watched you hold onto Ashton tightly. “Please let me go home.” 

well damn. oops. drama. i would like to say that nick jonas is a great person, i swear. he’s just kinda not okay in this part but i swear ill fix everything soon! please lemme know what you think right here and ill see ya in part 18 xx

[mumuntingmund0]

HOE U DID NOT JUST-

imagine one night tadeo and makaraig are drinking casually and tadeo is just rubbing his hands gleefully like a fly being like "YES I'M GONNA KNOW ALL HIS DIRTY SECRETS !!!!!" and then the dirty secret in question is makaraig saying he enjoys eating pork fat

he eventually realizes makaraig's confessions are all just food related. stuff that he so often pretends he doesn't like because it's gross or unhealthy but in reality he's like NO I WANT IT !!! I WANT THE PORK FAT, I WANT TO SLURP THE HEAD OF THE SHRIMP, I WANT TO GET EVERY LAST BIT OF BONE MARROW !!!! 😭😭😭

a few evenings later, tadeo takes him out to a restaurant, and it has everything makaraig ever wants and finds sinful in food. aligue pasta. pork chops. expensive ass dishes that are just a huge chopped up bone at the middle. bro is literally lord henry and makaraig is dorian gray being tempted to indulge in debauchery through food. he eats until he gets dizzy and they probably frequent the restaurant more often than is really needed

flash forward to a few months later, makaraig has to take a medical check up and he just fails his blood tests in proportions so epic that you wonder how he's stayed alive this whole time without fainting or having heart problems. maybe he has felt more faint, but it's hard to tell because he's just that goddamn good at keeping himself composed. but at least that is the first time makaraig has ever failed anything in his life