#i see my therapist next week. just gotta suck it up best i can till then.

[tearingdread]

🚬 ……

[alittleoptimistic]

Psychic For Hire

A Buzzfeed Unsolved Fanfic

Summary: Shane is a psychic for hire working in LA, and sure, he’s a fake, but at least he’s telling people what they need to hear! That is, he thought he was fake. But after a strange accident, he has the oddest dreams… Meanwhile his old friend Ryan is researching his next greatest supernatural horror novel in the underbelly of the LA psychic scene and wondering how on earth you convince someone they might be psychic for real?

Trigger warning: violence, car accidents, cussing, dead people.

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Chapter 2

Sometimes you’ve got to just be like, ‘well, okay, this is how today is gonna be.’ Ryan dropped his fifth quarter into the vending machine and blinked, long and slow at the options. He got lost for a second, his eyes focused on the reflection of ceiling lights and the waverly look of his own face in the glass. He had a bruise just beneath his left cheek, (coffee cup, he was pretty sure), and a cut on his upper arm. Pick a snack, he ordered. His arm lifted up and tapped in the numbers.

Chips, a slim jim. They clunked at the bottom and Ryan wandered toward room 247 A, where Shane lay sleeping. Ryan felt an odd calm. He should freak out, but he’d gone beyond that and now he floated in this haze while he waited for Shane to wake up.

The hospital room had vertical fabric blinds that let in a dirty evening light. When Ryan entered, Shane was sitting up in bed, gingerly poking at the small bandage over his left eyebrow. He’d been smacked pretty hard. Scary, hard. Ryan had never seen someone that pale before. They were lucky. His chest shuttered.

“Hey, big guy, you’re awake.”

Shane blinked at him, no trace of confusion in his eyes. He knew exactly where he was. Which was very typical of him, to be honest? He relaxed into a smile, apparently unperturbed by the whole situation. “You totaled my car. It’s like college all over again.”

“Fuck you,” Ryan threw the slim jim at him. “Don’t stick your head out the window like a dog.”

“I was throwing up. Christ, my head hurts. Am I okay? I feel okay?”

Ryan nodded.  “You flew out the window, so everyone is super shocked that you are. They think you probably have a concussion, though, which sucks. You’re supposed to rest or whatever. They’ll probably be in here in a few minutes.”

And they were. A few more hours of pandering around, being poked, asking and answering questions, and getting prescriptions, and then, remarkably, they were on their way out. It was… wild. He’d been so scared, and now here they were, catching an Uber.

“I wonder what happened to the people who hit us.” Ryan mused as they watched the animated Uber car on his phone get closer and then miss them entirely.

Shane huffed. “He’s fine. Won't try to change his shirt while driving again, I’m guessing. Don’t worry about it.”

Ryan glanced up. “You don’t even-”

“Is that our guy? I think I see it. Purple Toyota? Purple Toyota, baby!”

The night slipped into a darker, deeper purple as they arrived at Shane’s suburban fever dream of a house. The brightest light by far was Shane’s neon PSYCHIC sign on the front window. Ryan found himself staring at it as they climbed out of the Uber, saying their goodbyes.

He wasn’t sure this was such a good idea anymore.

He had four months to come up with the first draft of a novel about the LA psychics, according to his publishers. Ryan was thinking about some kind of mix of Dead Zone and the celebrity lifestyle… if that was possible. It made sense to stay with Shane, do research the way he always did. Part of his angle was always the real-life research he did before writing anything. He wanted to give people as much truth as he possibly could. Shane was his best friend (or was , ten years ago) and Shane was a professional psychic. It would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like it. This was a strange thing for Shane to be, of course. Ryan remembered first hearing about Shane’s job through a mutual friend and he’d laughed and told them they were confused. Shane, a psychic? Shane was goddamn Doubting Thomas reincarnate.

It made sense, now that Ryan was here, talking to him. Shane wanted to be a therapist in school, but he had to quit midway through after… something. Ryan couldn’t remember what had happened exactly. Shane had told him they couldn’t room together next semester, and just like that, he disappeared off the face of the earth. Ryan got the impression any questions about this were very off-limits, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. The point was, the way he explained it, Shane managed to find a way to be a therapist without technically having a license.

It didn’t make him any less of a con artist, obviously, and it put an honest horrible taste in Ryan’s mouth. He’d rather not know about any of it than have to recalibrate who he thought his friend was. He couldn’t tell any of this to Shane. And he needed the room. Not to mention, it was going to be great for his book. What better insight to this side of LA then through the eyes of someone who knew all the tricks. Then, Ryan could find the real ones, couldn’t he? Or, he could try.

Shane unlocked the front door. He was talking casually about nothing in particular and Ryan laughed in response without really hearing the words. Shane’s house was simply ordered, a single hallway down the center with a living room and open kitchen to the left, and the closed-off office to the right. Two bedrooms further down the hall, and a bathroom at the end. Apparently, Shane used the other bedroom to do video work? Editing had always been a hobby of his, something he and Ryan bonded over originally. “I’ve got a foldout couch in there you can use, ” he told him.

They met around the breakfast counter and Shane poured him a glass of something. Ryan frowned. “I don’t think you should drink if you have a concussion.”

“I’m going to have a headache tomorrow either way,” Shane answered.

“Wh- no, Shane, Jesus-”

Shane took a sip and gave him a put on look. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You drink. You’re all shaky still.”

Ryan wanted to tell him he was not shaky, thank you very much. Instead, he picked up the glass and did so. Surprised, he took another sip. “This is… really good.”

“Gift from a friend,” Shane hummed, sitting down on the tall chairs. His feet still touched the ground, and Ryan realized a moment later, his own did not.

“You have friends?”

Shane rolled his eyes, amused, and then winced. He could brush it off all he liked, but his head was definitely hurting him. “Got me there. A client, then. Lilly Keller.”

Ryan choked on the wine.

“Wait. Like, the Lilly Keller?” Lilly Keller, the famous actress, winner of multiple oscars at the young age of twenty-three. Lilly Keller, America’s newest heartthrob. Ryan’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t just- Frick, dude, you’re Lilly Keller’s psychic?” Shane gave him a cheeky grin. “She’s a sweet girl. You can come with me to a session if you like.”

“ If I like? Who else do you know? Do you know Leonardo Dicaprio? Please say you-”

“She’s the only celebrity, don’t get too excited!”

Ryan was about to reply when headlights shot through the room from the front window. They were inordinately bright, especially since he and Shane hadn’t turned on more lights than the small one over the stove. The car faced them, unmoving. The headlights flipped on and off and on again with deliberation.

Ryan held up a hand to squint at it. “What the hell?”

Shane didn’t say anything.

“Shane?”

Ryan looked at him. Shane was stiff, his face blank. He set the glass down with a clink on the counter. “...shit…”

Ryan’s breath caught. “Is something wrong?”

Shane raised his eyebrows, meeting his eyes suddenly. “Naw. Just something I’ve gotta do. You wait in here.” Without another word, Shane crossed the kitchen and opened the door of his office. Ryan stayed at the counter, too shocked to do anything but obey.

Maybe this really was a bad idea.

Shane cursed in the dark of his office as he pushed aside a few books on his bookshelf to reveal the safe hidden behind. He opened the dial quickly. Inside lay a pile of jewelry, some watches, other important documents, and piles of cash. It wasn’t all his technically. He got rent from several other psychics around the area and then delivered a portion of his and theirs to the person above him.

Shane counted the bills, fumbling. His head pounded like it was shrinking around his brain. There was no way he was going to get around avoiding explaining this to Ryan. With a sigh, he straightened, closed the safe, and walked to the front door. Ryan met his gaze and his eyes widened when he saw the money in Shane’s hand. Shane didn’t have anything to put it in or else he would have. Shane didn’t respond. He already knew Ryan was scared. It was bleeding off him like sweet sick. Fear and disappointment.

Shane had a knife in his back pocket just in case as he walked down his sidewalk. It was wet from the sprinklers. Just at the end of the driveway sat a black, shiny car, windows thick.

The moment he saw it, his headache pulsed worse. But he relaxed. His shoulders dropped and he picked up his pace. Thank God…

The window rolled down as he got closer.

“Good evening, Jack.”

Jack, a black-haired kid with a pointy nose and bruised eyes, leaned into the streetlight so he was visible. “How’d you know it was me?”

Shane handed him the cash. “The way you park? I dunno. Wasn’t expecting you tonight. I thought you guys weren’t coming till the twentieth? Where’s Hera?”

“She’s at a party. Apparently she has some big meeting in the twentieth. She told me to come collect early.”

“Well, you’re lucky I had extra meetings this week.”

“ You’re lucky.”

Shane wasn’t scared of Jack. He wasn’t a bad kid, all things considered. It wasn’t his fault his family was batshit crazy. Shane smiled and drummed his fingers on the top of the car. “Well, tell Hera I said hello.”

“Will do.” Jack turned the car back on, putting the money on the passenger seat. He nodded toward Shane’s head. “Someone get ya?”

“Hmm? Oh, no. Car accident earlier today.”

“Aw, that sucks. They give you morphine?” Shane blinked at him. “A little. Gave me crazy dreams.”

The kid grinned a wide, toothy smile. One of his teeth was gold. “Nice. Thanks, bitch. See ya. Hera said she wants you to start taking in the money yourself or she’ll kick your ass.”

Shane opened his mouth to protest. Then he shut it. He managed something like a smile. “Fine. Stay safe, Jack.”

“Whatever, voodoo man.” With that, Jack rolled up the window and slunk the car down the street.

Shane hesitated in his front yard. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was... so tired.

And Ryan was peeking through the blinds. Of course, he was.

Shane turned around and met Ryan’s eyes immediately, startling the man into dropping the blinds and disappearing. It would be funny in other circumstances. Suddenly, he didn’t want to stay up and drink with his friend anymore. His headache was only getting worse and Ryan was worry pacing in his living room like an anxious cat.

Shane made it back to the kitchen. He rubbed the back of his neck. His body ached. The pain medication must have been wearing off. “Well, you wanted to know what it's like being a psychic in LA...” He laughed.

Ryan stood stiff, his hands trembling. “Who was that?” Shane ignored the question. “My head is killing me. Can we… I'm sorry, can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Ryan wavered. “Are you in danger?”

Shane waved the question away in dismissal. “Naw, calm down. My boss likes me.” He knew Ryan was brimming with questions, but they had a whole two months at least to get answers to them, and Shane was having a hard time focusing now. He walked out, down the hallway. “I set out the blankets and pillows on the bed in there.”

Ryan didn’t have a choice really, but he relented and followed. “... Okay. We’ll talk tomorrow?”

Shane turned at his door. “Duh? Night, Ryan.”

“... night.”

Shane put the door between them as quickly as he could. He was being totally unfair, but he really didn’t have the energy to explain. He sat down on his bed, took his shoes off, and then lay flat on the covers for a minute, thinking he’d get up and change any second. His body was heavy, and he was very aware for no reason in particular that he was a creature inside it.

Shane sat in the passenger seat as the car whizzed the highway. The radio played Miley Cyrus’s ‘The Climb’. Shane turned his head. He recognized the feeling, the thickness of the air like moving through dough. In the driver seat, Jack sang not-so-well, but earnestly, as he drummed his hands on the wheel. The sight made Shane smile. Jack wouldn’t be caught dead listening to something like this.

Shane stood in a bookshop, looking up at the reflection of a book on the inside of a display. ǝɿiH ɿoꟻ ɔiʜɔγƨꟼ. A dark-haired man passed by.

Rapid images passed his eyes. A girl cried in her bathroom, a man and a woman fought in a kitchen. A plate broke. The images passed faster and faster until he couldn’t distinguish them. Everything was too quick, too much information all at once. His stomach began to ache.

Then he was laying on cold marble tiles. Heels clicked past his ear. Above him, marble arches stretched into a dome centered by a massive chandelier that shone like the damn sun. He tried to sit up and managed to turn his head instead. Gravity was too heavy. A familiar woman opened the front door. She wore a mink fur shawl over a nightgown, clearly heading toward the bed. “Jack. you look like shite, honey, why doesn’t your mama dress you properly.”

“Got the money, auntie.”

A pause. “Excuse me?”

Jack stepped back. Shane could see his sneakers. “I have the money, auntie Hera, Ma’am.”

He gave it to her and she hummed. “You told him to come here?”

Jack nodded.

“It’s about time we initiated that dry ass fucker… I’ve never seen a more well-behaved pet.” She leaned forward and pulled Jack down so she could kiss him on the cheek.

“Aw, ugk, auntie- auntie, he’s paying fine, I don't see why you’ve gotta-”

She grabbed his cheek, a little rougher than she ought to have. “How about you run along and let the adults do the thinking, Jackie dear. Have a goodnight, tell your mama she’s a whore.”

“Okay, auntie.”

Shane was listening so closely, he almost didn’t notice until it was too late. The stone crept around his legs and up to his body. He screamed as he fell into the marble.

Concrete surrounded him. He couldn’t breathe. Coldwater rushed at his back. Suddenly he dropped into water, tumbling, slamming into walls. It was so cold. He gasped and flailed and-

Jumped up out of sweat-soaked sheets.

Shane choked on nothing, shivering, breathing rapidly. His whole body hurt. He was battered and bleeding and-

No, no he wasn’t. What kind of nightmare…

Shane scrubbed his face and hissed in pain at the cut over his eye. Sunlight streamed in from the window. A few moments passed, and his heartbeat slowed.

The door rattled. Ryan poked his head in, hair tousled. “Yo, you want eggs?”

Yes, he did.

Man, concussions sure were weird.

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previous            to be continued....

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/23/18 10:18pm

note to self from therapist..

when people don’t test back right away, and your heart hurts.. that feeling is the fear that you will lose the attachment. 

i’m upset that he isn’t responding to text messages because i’m scared that if he doesn’t respond, it means he’s ignoring me which means im annoying him which means he doesn’t want to be with me anymore which means i’ll be rejected and lose the attachment. texting and communication is all about reminding me that i am still loved and still wanted, and yeah i might need a little more reassurance than other people, but maybe that’s okay.

in other news, i have officially cut romantic ties with ryan, and i feel lighter. it doesn’t serve either of us to imagine a future together or to bank on getting back together down the road. so we talked on the phone and i said it. its over. i don’t want to get back together. things changed when we broke up, and i still want to be his friend when he’s ready, but i’m glad that i’m actually moving on and putting the romantic aspect of our relationship behind us.

it has been one of the most stressful weeks last week. i came home crying every day, having panic attacks because my grades are slipping, i’m scared of disappointing my dad, my friend situation feels shakey sometimes and i feel like i’m stepping on toes, and spencer has been adding stress with his shitty text communication..

in regards to the last thing, i have diplomatically decided to put that issue on the back burner. i have voiced my needs to him, and i know he has a busy midterm week this week and he’s gunna be too busy to do much of anything, and since i’m not a fuckin quitter, i’ve decided to table this issue while i deal with my other shit, and when we both have more time we will put in heavier work to the relationship and i’ll decide if we should stay together or breakup. we are still in a relationship, but i cant afford to throw more emotional energy at this problem when it really doesn’t matter. so we’ll both just have a quiet week mostly apart and i’ll reassess at a later time. plus, it’s almost halloween and i want to bring his adorable face to parties with me and kiss him and be proud to show each other off in our costumes.. and then i keep hearing that its cuffing season and i know ill want to be there for him this winter break since its probably going to be hard for him.. i adore him. i love him to bits. i want to protect him and offer emotional support. and i know when i get stressed about one thing, everything starts to stress me out, and the relationship has been suffering because my school work is suffering, so i gotta fix that. so at least for right now, i am tabling my grievances and just going to take a step back and support him while he has a tough week. and adding breakup hurt to my pile of hurt isnt what i need right now. i need a good cuddle and to look into his beautiful brown eyes and tell him i love him. thats what i need. end of discussion for now.

as for my school, i am seriously considering taking another semester at oxy. there is so much on my plate and 5 classes still to go and a research position that i really want to take.. theres a lot to consider.. i’m terrified of upsetting my dad and disappointing him.. i want to do so much and i dont have any time because im trying to cram everything into these 2 semesters that im gunna drown and get terrible grades.. i cant do all of this.. its going to kill me.. i dont know what i want but i am starting to really consider it in a serious way. having one more semester here would mean that i most likely cant walk with the current seniors but i could next year.. idk.. we’ll see

also trying to put the frat drama behind me. i dont want to hurt anyone, i just need to take care of myself. and to me, the best option is making things smoother with people in the house so i can feel safe there and feel excited about the frat as a whole, so for now, thats my decision. just be nice and supportive to everyone. i might not agree with the house members on the issue, but i still love them as people and i need to make amends because i fucked up too. 

i just want to spread love and good vibes and support people. this fighting is exhausting me, so im just gunna not.. i think thats the right call for me right now.

last week sucked, but i swear to god i will force myself into an upswing if it kills me. 

take your xanex. eat healthy foods. get your work done. love people. spread positivity. spread love. support people you care about. and i know its going to be painful, but you need to have a talk with your dad. do all of this, and you will be happy. 

ps. start doing your makeup again because putting effort into your appearance makes you feel better. 

okay, gotta go do work, but i’m feeling better after writing and having therapy today. talking helps, and i need to keep talking and keep getting to the bottom of my stupid feelings. you are not going to fail. you can do this. keep trying. it’s not over till its over, so get back up and keep trying. <3

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.