#i see bloggers apologizing again and again for the same things and then realize 'oh shit they don't *want* an apology'
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i need some of you to realize that call out culture, by design, rewards people who make the most outrageous & aggressive accusations, without regards to truth or context. it encourages people to misconstrue, to erase context, to outright lie. it feeds the instinct to attack, with or without cause.
and that naturally enables certain types of people (terfs, exclusionists, bigots) who already have a vitriolic bandwagon behind them, to target & harass minority bloggers whose inclusive platforms they do not like to see becoming popular.
this has happened time and again, it has driven good people off this site, it is traumatic and unhealthy to everyone involved. purity culture creates an atmosphere of fear & paranoia, i am begging you to reexamine this attitude of mob violence in online spaces
#not a shitpost#serious post#harassment tw#seriously ya'll......this happens time and again and i'm getting fucking sick of it#do you remember i-am-a-fish? do you remember when you let ace & trans exclusionists target & harass i-am-a-fish off this site?#i see the same tactics being used time and again on different ace & trans & nb & gnc bloggers#and it WORKS! it works every time! people on this site fall for it every time and i am SICK of it#would you just. look at people's blogs and judge them on their recent and overall actions.#if people have been personally hurt by them then yes listen to victims#but don't take screenshots of posts from 2 years ago as the sacred truth#i see bloggers apologizing again and again for the same things and then realize 'oh shit they don't *want* an apology'#'these people just want more shit to throw at me. an apology is never going to be enough'#and also....let people grow? i'm proud of how quickly the standards of what is appropriate and respectful are changing & progressing#we are all constantly learning new things about what is and is not appropriate to say. and that's good!!#but the result is that what we considered appropriate a year or 2 ago we now know probably shouldn't be#so like. look at people's recent posts if you want to know their recent attitudes.#don't go attacking people for stuff they said years ago unless you have reason to believe they still believe & are perpetuating it#especially when so many people on this site are goddam teenagers holy shit#i honestly wonder if that is the reason so many people in online spaces are unwilling to admit they were wrong or change their opinions#bc we've erased the concept that you're allowed to be wrong and grow and update your opinion#so if you admit you are wrong NOW you're opening yourself up to be attacked years down the line#i've had to learn as a popular blog when to clapback and when to just...let it slide#often it's better to tell people off in private or block them. but callout culture is encouraging us to just.#automatically hit back fullthrottle in a way that puts our target at risk for public harassment#so i see a lot of crappy but lowkey comments getting people dunked into shitstorms and it's just....#a lot of time and energy spent harassing people who...aren't really the people you should be concerned about?#and who could probably learn & grow if given the right incentive?#idk i'm seeing a lot of stick and very little carrot.#and a lot of black-and-white thinking that leads to more violence than i'm comfortable having in an online community
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Of Forts and Fairy Lights
Summary: Still the aftermath of the reveal, Marinette goes to Alya's house for a sleepover and to clear her head. But this sleepover is about to have an unexpected guest.
Hello! This fic was written for @kittylovezine - the second volume, where it was illustrated by the amazing @kaleidoscoperain. I've been sitting on it for almost a year now and I'm thrilled that I've gotten the go-ahead from the mods to share it with you all!
Enjoy!
Read on Ao3
“Girl, I’ve got so much planned for tonight!”
As Alya began excitedly listing off all the sleepover games, Marinette let her mind wander.
The last two weeks had been… interesting. She and Adrien were still trying to navigate where they stood with each other now that there were no secrets left between them. This meant that they could barely speak to each other, and merely being in the same room had them blushing. Their best solution so far had been to tiptoe around the subject and avoid each other as much as possible.
Naturally, Alya had picked up on Marinette’s sudden silence on her crush. But what could she say? That things were a little weird between them now that they knew each other’s secret identities? No. So when Alya asked her what was going on...
Was it any wonder she blurted out that she had a crush on Chat Noir?
Marinette vainly hoped that would be the end of it.
Until she realized that Alya was looking through the window.
“Um, see something interesting out there, Alya?” Marinette pulled the curtain aside, trying to follow Alya’s eyes. She wasn’t familiar with the area Alya lived in, so nothing looked out of the ordinary.
“You bet I do, girl,” Alya said with a predatory grin on her face. Opening the window to step out onto her balcony, she let in a cold breeze that sent a shiver down Marinette’s spine. “Hey! Chat Noir! You got a sec?”
---------------
The past two weeks had been nerve wracking for Chat Noir.
Between his excitement at learning Ladybug’s identity, and his absolute joy that it was Marinette, he had so many emotions that he was almost nauseous. He’d been pacing in his room enough that Plagg, of all people, suggested that he go out for a run. He eagerly latched onto the idea, and soon found himself leaping from rooftop to rooftop, his mind empty of everything but the path ahead of him.
At least until he stopped to catch his breath, and the thoughts he’d been outrunning caught up with him. Underneath all the jubilation was the nagging worry that everything was going to end in disaster.
He didn’t have long to dwell on it however, when he heard Alya calling out to him.
“Hey! Chat Noir! You got a sec?”
While he loved chatting with people while on patrol, he wasn’t in the mood for entertaining today. Before he could decline, he saw a familiar pair of blue eyes watching him at Alya’s side. Without even thinking he rushed over to Alya’s balcony.
“I suppose I have a few moments to spare for my favorite blogger,” he said. “What do you need, citizen?”
Alya snorted. “Just come in already, it’s cold outside.”
“You don’t need to tell me that,” Chat said with a shiver. He slipped past Alya and into the warmth of her apartment. With his hands on his hips, he let his eyes roam around the cozy looking space.
His heart skipped a beat when he finally got to Marinette, who was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt, and pajama pants covered in lime green paw prints. Her face turned red even as a playful grin spread across his face.
He leaned down to her level and spoke in a smug voice, “I didn’t know you were such a big fan, Marinette.”
Their eye contact was broken when Alya shoved a hoodie into his hands. “Here - we’ve got a cozy aesthetic to keep up here and your leather catsuit doesn’t cover it.”
“Hey, that’s mine!” Marinette protested.
“C’mon, girl, it’ll only be for tonight. You don’t want the cat to go cold, do you?”
Marinette huffed, but didn’t argue further. Chat Noir smiled to himself, slipping the hoodie on. After standing awkwardly for a few moments, Alya motioned him onto the couch where he sat a respectful distance from Marinette.
“So anyway, me and Marinette were going to do some sleepover games.” Alya smirked and raised an eyebrow at Chat Noir. “You in?”
“Sure!” His enthusiasm wavered for a moment. “Um… what sort of games are they? I’ve never done a sleepover before.”
Chat caught a momentary look of sadness on Marinette’s face before Alya gasped, scandalized.
“Well, we’d better stick to the basics then. That’ll make sure you get the premier sleepover experience. And that means we’ll be starting with...” she rubbed her hands together eagerly, “Truth or dare!”
Chat Noir and Marinette scooted closer together under Alya’s maniacal grin. It was going to be a looong night.
---------
“...And that’s where I’m going to back out,” Marinette said.
“Aw, come on, it’s only one kiss!” Alya complained, dropping her phone that she had stealthily pulled out. “Look at how disappointed Chat is!”
Marinette faced her partner. Stiff tail, flushed cheeks, panicked eyes - he was looking every bit as flustered as she felt. Disappointed? Maybe, but there was relief there as well.
“...Somehow, I think he’ll live.” Marinette shook her head and clutched her pillow tight. “So, what’re we doing next?”
“Well, if you don’t want to play any more games, then how about some movies?”
“Sounds good to me. What do you want to watch-” Marinette turned to Chat Noir, realizing how close they’d gotten in trying to get away from Alya. The same thought seemed to have crossed his mind too. They both froze.
“Hold on just a second there,” Alya said, pushing up her glasses. “If we’re going to be doing this the right way, then we need to go all the way.” She got to her feet. “I’m going to go make some snacks. Can you two make a pillow fort while I’m gone?”
Marinette rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I think we can handle that.”
“Great. Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.” Alya winked at Marinette and ducked out the door as Marinette sent a pillow flying at her.
“So…” Chat said, breaking the ensuing silence. “How do we make a pillow fort?”
“Oh, chaton…” She said softly, patting the spot between his cat ears. “Come on, I’ll teach you.”
She focused on setting up a makeshift mattress of pillows and blankets on the ground while Chat followed her instructions. Even now and again she’d catch him looking at her out of the corner of her eyes, as if he couldn’t help himself. It was a look she was used to getting from Chat, but never out of her spots. Not until tonight.
“I think that should do it, right?” Chat admired his handiwork. “Anything else?”
“Take a seat. I’ll just put up some fairy lights to complete the look.” Marinette smiled. “It’ll make everything feel that much cozier.”
“And we’ve got an aesthetic to keep up?”
“You better believe it, chaton.”
They glanced at each other and fell into a giggling fit. Still smiling, Marinette hung the lights, feeling Chat Noir’s eyes on her the whole time. Their pillow fort complete, she laid next to him, but not nearly as close as she wanted to be.
“This is nice,” Marinette said.
“Mhm. I just wish we’d gotten to do this more over the years.”
“There were dangers. You know we couldn’t.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed. It was all she could say as an apology. Neither of them had liked the secrecy, but Chat only went along with it for her sake.
“There was always going to be danger.” He brought her hand up to his lips. “But I’m more than happy we’ll be facing them together going forward.”
Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she watched him press a kiss to the back of her hand, like he’d done so many times before.
Swallowing heavily, she said, “Y-you know, we never completed Alya’s last dare…”
His forehead scrunched in confusion for a moment before the realization struck. If it weren’t for her nerves she would’ve laughed out loud - he always did wear his emotions on his sleeve. Especially when he was Chat Noir.
“Well… we can’t have people saying the heroes of Paris back down from a challenge, can we?”
Then he was scooting towards her, his face taking up her entire field of view. Their first kiss - the first one that both of them would remember, at least - was soft and tentative, but full of love barely held back.
Blushing furiously, they pulled back before they slouched against each other and returned to the relative safety of idle conversation. There would be time later to work out their feelings and figure things out. For now, they were content in each other’s company.
Before long, sleep came for both of them.
---------
Alya poked her head into the room, smiling to herself when she saw Marinette and Chat Noir sleeping against each other. Reaching inside, she turned out the lights to let them rest in darkness.
She wasn’t sure what exactly had changed between those two, but if he made Marinette happy… who was she to argue?
#Miraculous Ladybug#Marinette Dupain-Cheng#Alya Cesaire#Chat Noir#Marichat#Kitty Love Zine#ml fanfiction#my writing#Of Forts and Fairy Lights
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New Amsterdam Chapter 97
Wade stared at the small townhouse with trepidation. He could still hear echoes of laughter from his last visit and vaguely remembered that the woman had said that she liked him better than Tony. Of course, she had broken Tony’s arm, and was disappointed that Tony had full use of said arm.
{She also likes us better than Norman!}
[I don’t think that’s hard. She probably likes the sewer rats better than Norman.]
Wade shuddered at the image.
Peter absently pat his arm, so as not to disturb the cake that Wade was holding. “It’ll be fine,” he said reassuringly. “Oh, the turtle’s in the window.” Wade’s eyes tracked to the window closest to the front door and saw that there was, indeed a stuffed turtle in it. The turtle was green with a yellow shell and looked fuzzy.
“What’s important about the turtle?” asked Wade as Peter put a gentle hand on his arm and guided him towards the back of the house.
“Means the front door’s blocked. She does metal art sculptures with recycled materials,” Peter explained as they walked through the tiny yard.
[Would have been good to know earlier.]
{Well, it’s not like we told him we were going to visit his aunt.}
[What?]
{He couldn't have told us about the turtle earlier, because we didn’t tell him we were going to see his aunt.}
[You are so strange.]
The back door opened to reveal the smiling face of the woman he’d seen earlier. “Peter!” she called holding open her arms. “It’s good to see you!” she said as she hugged her nephew.
“It’s good to see you too,” Peter said warmly. He pulled away and put his hand back on Wade’s arm. “Aunt May, this is my boyfriend, Wade.”
“It’s nice to see you again Wade,” the woman said, still holding the smile.
[I can’t tell if she’s lying, to spare Peter, or if she’s serious.]
“Nice to see you again,” Wade echoed. He held out the baked good in his hands. “We brought cake. Glazed lemon pound cake,” he added.
Her entire face twitched. “That is—so sweet,” she said in a strained voice.
{What did we do? Is she allergic to lemons? Oh, God, did we almost murder Peter’s mother?}
Peter sighed. “I didn’t have anything to do with cooking it, Aunt May,” he reassured the woman.
Who sagged with relief. “Thank God. I still remember the horror that was chicken noodle soup.”
“I was ten!”
“You put six heads of garlic in it!”
“Garlic is good for you!”
“The soup came from a can, Peter. A. Can. Trust me, it had all the garlic it needed.”
“You ate it,” said Peter petulantly as Aunt May reached for the cake. “And I never made that mistake again,” he added quickly.
[I wonder what other mistakes he’s made.]
{If he’s made that many mistakes, then his cooking should have improved, right? Why hasn’t it?}
[Do NOT ask him that!]
Wade surrendered it and then curled up around Peter. “Yes, and I was sick for an extra two weeks,” agreed the woman as she turned and entered the house.
Peter sighed and hung his head. “We can still go,” he said as he looked up at Wade.
Wade curled around him again. “But then I’ll miss on your embarrassing stories!” he whined.
Peter chuckled and the two of them followed Aunt May into the house. “Can’t have that,” he teased.
{I love him!}
[We all love him. You’re not special.]
Once inside Peter and Wade sat on the couch while Wade peered over at the front door to see the metal thing blocking the door. It looked like there were now colored bits of metal all over. Peter looked to see what he was looking at and grinned. “So, what pot did you ruin to make the bismuth crystals?” he called out to his aunt, who was in the kitchen cutting the cake so that they could all have some.
“Same one as last time,” Aunt May called back as she came into the living room with three plates. Each plate had a fork and, oddly, a strawberry.
“Thank you,” said Wade remembering manners he had learned somewhere. Peter gently nudged him with a shoulder and grinned. Wade grinned as he nudged back.
Aunt May looked on with a satisfied smile. She neatly cut a bite of the cake with her fork and ate it, not looking away from the two on her couch. “How’s work, Peter?” she asked.
Peter brightened and began chattering away about matrices and stability and a bunch of other things that flew right over Wade’s head.
[I wonder if she actually understands what he’s saying or if she’s just letting him ramble.]
{He’s so cute! Look at how enthusiastic he is!}
“How did you and Deadpool meet?” Aunt May asked.
Peter frowned. “Wade, Aunt May. His name is Wade. You literally just used his name!”
Aunt May smiled. “I didn’t ask how you met Wade,” she continued patiently. “I asked how you met Deadpool.” Peter glared at her as he pushed his glasses up with his wrist.
{What’s happening?}
[I’m as confused as you are.]
Aunt May turned to Wade, breaking the staring match. “I have some lemonade that will go well with the cake,” she said calmly, as though she hadn’t just been staring Peter down about—something. “Would you like a glass?”
Wade glanced at his untouched cake. It was untouched because he didn’t want to push the mask up. “I’m okay,” he told her firmly.
Peter, understanding the problem, leaned into Wade’s side. Aunt May simply nodded. “Peter, she said firmly, “come help me with dishes.” She picked up her plate and Peter grabbed his own before heading into the kitchen with her.
[She doesn’t want us to hear what she’s going to say to him.]
{We should eavesdrop! That way—what’s that?}
Wade went to the window and peered out at the neighborhood before giving a mental groan. There, on the house across the street, with a perfect visual scope of the one he was in, was a figure lying on the tiles of the roof.
[Can you still call it camouflage when it’s a different color than the roof it’s on?]
{Brown! Brown on black tiles! I swear, standards for snipers are so low.}
So, who was the sniper working for? They weren’t from HYDRA, because those fuckers knew how to camouflage themselves—otherwise they wouldn't have been able to hide within SHIELD for so long. Ah—must be SHIELD. Only SHIELD could be so bad at camouflage and still be in operation.
Wade pulled out his phone and made a call. When it was picked up he growled, “Pull your sniper out of the neighborhood.”
“There’s a sniper in the neighborhood?” Wade turned to see Peter.
Wade shifted. He didn’t want to get Peter involved in this, but he already was. It was his aunt’s house that was being targeted after all. He nodded.
Peter’s expression darkened. “What house?” he demanded. Wade pointed and then Peter gestured towards Wade’s phone. “May I?” he asked. Fascinated, Wade handed the phone over. “You have five minutes,” Peter said grimly, “to get your sniper out of my neighborhood or I’m calling Mrs. Salinzky and telling her I see her cat on the roof before going out to take pictures of the old woman yelling at your sniper for killing her cat. Then I will submit the encounter to every news, from paper to television to independent blogger, asking why you felt the need to harass an elderly woman with dementia.”
[Oh. My. God. Peter’s a force to be reckoned with!]
{That’s so hot! Think he’ll be up for some cuddling later?}
“Sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Parker,” the tinny voice came over the phone. The sniper across the street flung back his cover and began packing up. “May I come and make a formal apology?”
“Might be a good idea,” Peter admitted darkly. “Front door’s blocked.” He calmly hung up and handed the phone back to Wade. “What could they want?” he muttered as he leaned against Wade’s side.
Wade tucked his phone back into his pocket and hugged his boyfriend. “I don’t know,” he answered with complete honesty.
There was a knock at the back door and Aunt May allowed the individual there to come in. Wade stiffened as he glared at the balding man in his distinctive three-piece suit. “Coulson,” he spat darkly.
“Wilson,” said the man amiably. He looked at Peter. “Sorry to bother you Mr. Parker. We were—concerned about Deadpool’s activities.” The man smiled. “Just want to keep the neighborhood safe.”
“It’s always important to keep the neighborhood safe,” Aunt May agreed. “Please, take a seat.” Coulson sat and, not to be outdone, Wade did too, Peter following. “Would you like some lemonade?” asked the woman pleasantly.
“If you would be so kind,” Coulson said with a smile. Aunt May smiled and bustled off while Coulson turned his attention to Peter.
[I don’t like the way he’s looking at him.]
{Petey is ours.}
“Well, Peter,” Coulson said slowly as Deadpool tucked himself around his boyfriend, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Unfazed Peter used his wrist to shove the glasses back into place on his face. “Have you?” he asked. “Agent Coulson.”
“And how did you know that?” asked Coulson with an easy smile.
Peter did not smile back. In fact, he bristled and Deadpool could feel it. “Wade called you by name,” he said.
Wade. That was right; he was Wade. Peter’s boyfriend. He shook himself and Peter leaned back into his embrace.
Coulson, the bastard, watched the whole thing. “Wade,” he said emphasizing the name and not title, “didn’t call me ‘agent’.”
Peter sighed. “You are not wearing a uniform. I know all of the detectives in this section of the city, since one of them lives down the street and has been regularly throwing barbecues for his fellow officers and detectives since before I lived here. So you are not a detective, or I would already know you. That leaves ‘agent.’ I don’t yet have enough information to realize if you are FBI, CIA, or SHIELD, but you are definitely an agent.”
The man nodded. “That’s a good deduction,” he admitted.
Peter gave a low snort. “Trust me,” he said, “I only look stupid.”
“The spandex only makes me look stupid.”
Almost the exact same phrase. One was Peter. One was Spidey. Except—
{They’re the same! Oh, thank the good heavens, Petey-Pie and Spidey are the same!}
Wade’s mind quickly sifted through all of his interactions with Peter. The way, when they were first eating back to back, that he’d been reminded of Spiderman. The way that Spiderman and Peter were never in the same place at the same time. The way that if Spiderman left Wade in an uncomfortable situation Peter would show up to help (and maybe tease him about the insane number of masks in the drawer, but Wade still had issues about his skin). They were the same person.
[Do you even know what this means?]
{Of course I do! It means we can cuddle Spidey any time we want and not feel bad about it!}
[It means he’ll hate us.]
Both Wade and Yellow paused in their internal excitement as they felt the first tendrils of dread. What did White mean? Why would Peter hate them?
[He spent so much energy hiding his identity and then we, the most unstable person he knows, figures it out? He’ll never forgive us.]
{But—but what can we do?}
[Pretend we don’t know and wait. He’ll either tell us eventually, or not.]
Wade wasn’t sure he could do it.
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Wake Me When It’s Over
Note: I must really like you guys enough to create a sequel for something that was never supposed to get one. Also, I kind of lost my train of thought as to where this story will end towards the end, sorry about that.
The miraculous magic flies through the streets of Paris, France. Those that were turned into stone now gasping for air and looking around very confused. On a rooftop, a certain model stands naked hoping that no one would see him searching for clothes and a way home. Back at the venue where the dance took place, Alya whoops at the defeat of the Empress of Mean. She holds Nino closes to her before realizing that something had happened to Lila. Her attention immediately goes to her phone messaging the one person that started this all.
No one knew what to say about the latest akuma victim. It was Marinette, the one person they never thought would fall into the hands of Hawkmoth. Was it really due to her jealousy of Lila? When was she akumatized? So many questions ran to through the student’s minds, that faithful night.
It wasn’t until Monday morning when everything came undone.
Throughout the rest of the weekend, the LadyBlog was receiving various comments about the Empress of Mean. Some comments were harsher than others. Alya couldn’t find it in her to make a new blog post regarding the aftermath or of the lack of thereof to her viewers. She wasn’t able to reach Lila at all and neither could rest of her classmates.
Entering the classroom, Alya could see that majority of the class was there expect for Adrien, Lila, and Marinette. She quickly managed to get the class huddled together.
“It isn’t like Marinette to be akumatized, especially about something so trivial as the dance.” Rose pipes up with a pout resting in her lips. “She handles stress better than any of us.” She then adds on causing everyone to turn to her.
“She was jealous, and that’s final,” Alya states, slamming her hands down on the desk in front of her. Everyone could see the twitching in the blogger’s eyes and a slight shaking of her body. Nino wraps his arms around her. “There’s no other explanation.”
“It was rumored that she and Adrien were secretly dating.” It was Nathanial who speaks up next. Soon all eyes were on him.
“You lie…” Everyone suddenly begins to shout.
“No, I’m serious. Marinette hangs out with Marc every now and then and he tells me that they were probably dating. I may an artist, but a broken heart can cause anyone to be akumatized if done correctly.” He continues before pulling out his sketchbook and begins drawing as if he didn’t just pull a fast one on his peers.
The classroom is met with silence aside from the sounds of a pencil against paper.
The classroom’s door opens revealing a frustrated yet silent Adrien Agreste with the one and only Lila Rossi standing behind him. Expecting cheers and concerns, they were meet with the opposite.
“Adrien, did you ever date Marinette?” Juleka asks with her voice dangerously low for all that can hear her. Her response came with an awkward neck rub and wondering eyes from the man in question. Juleka turns to Lila as if she had just woken up from a nightmare. Years of listening and believing the two people in front of her, denying everything her brother has ever said to her. Juleka didn’t know what to do at the moment. Emotions were not her strong suit even after all these years of being around the same people for years.
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” Adrien finally speaks up before walking over to his desk and pretend that last weekend did not just happen.
The room grows cold. No one knew how to respond.
“Oh my gosh guys, I’m so sorry for not responding to any of your text. After what Marinette had done to me, I really needed therapy. My mother was able to find someone at the last minute and I had no cell service.” Lila gushes about her latest problem hoping to grab some sympathy. Immediately it was meet by her “loyal” peers, all asking if she’s alright.
Those who weren’t as fooled by the Italian’s response, stood there wondering if she was lying or just pretending. Anyone with text receipts on knew that the girl had read their message and just didn’t respond.
“But you were dating Marinette?” Nathanial speaks setting his pencil down to give Adrien his full attention.
Adrien turns to the artist like a deer caught in the headlights. He could feel Lila’s glare on his back despite not looking at her. “Uh…We were never official. She knew that we were friends.”
“How long?” Juleka’s voice got softer.
“About a couple of months, why?”
With that, breathing became harder for those that knew Marinette well enough to know that the designer practically holds her heart on her sleeves. If Adrien thought they weren’t dating and Marinette did, that changes a whole lot of things.
Before anyone could tear Adrien a new one, Max mentions that class was about to start, and they should get into their seats. Only one seat stood noticeably out to everyone, and they knew she would be in much later.
Mild chatter about Lila’s therapy session broke the silence while everyone else waits nervously as more time past by. Their teacher has yet to enter the classroom nor has the class representative.
When Marinette finally did enter the classroom, everything goes silent. The loyalist of Lila’s group glares at the designer while the others couldn’t find the words to start something with Marinette without fearing the worst-case scenario.
Marinette had just sat in her chair when Mlle. Bustier entered the classroom in a panicking mess. Apparently, after the dance, a lot of parents were chewing out the school officials asking what caused the young designer to attack the school first and for the school not calling the parents. It was later found out that Marinette had no problems with the rest of school just her classmates and the partygoers were just so happened to be affected like everyone else which ends up causing more problems than less.
Caline couldn’t handle all this backlash. The school board officials decided that since Bustier’s class had the most akumatized victims out of all Dupont, Caline’s teaching habits must be reevaluated. They were sending someone in to review her class and teaching methods. All this being planned last minute which means that Caline was struggling to find the proper lesson plans and attitude before the official comes in.
“Today, we will be having a guest staying with us for the week. When this person enters please be on your best behaviors.” Mlle. Bustier stress to the class as she finally pulls out the last of her files from her briefcase.
Everyone, aside from Marinette, wonders who the guest will be. They receive their answer when the door opens once again to show an older-looking woman in a business suit with hair similar to Marinette’s overlooking the class before taking an empty desk in the back. The perfect view to oversee everything. Caline was seconds away from sweating bullets as she struggles to find the right word to begin the class period.
Lila, finding a new problem with this, tries to make Marinette look bad at every attempt she could get. However, all her attempts just made Caline’s teaching habits appear worse than what the school board could imagine. It was only a matter of time for Caline could kiss her job goodbye.
When the class finished, those that had a wake-up call rushed to meet with Marinette. Juleka was unsure how to feel when she saw her brother, Luka, and that fencer that was once an enemy talking to Marinette huddle close together.
“Are you sure that you don’t want to transfer?”
Juleka turns to Nathanial and Rose hoping that she heard wrong. Marinette could not transfer, it just felt so wrong.
“Luka?” The trio turns to the guitarist’s younger sister. They could see the fake smile placed upon Marinette’s face.
“I’m so, so sorry, Marinette.” Juleka followed by Nathanial and Rose immediately apologizes. Marinette stares at them with somewhat blank stares.
A moment past before Marinette whispers, “I forgive you. You’re not at fault here.”
The recently forgiven three runs to embrace Marinette. Tears of joys escape from their eyes.
Only a day later would the class of Mlle. Bustier finds out that their teacher has been suspended and will no longer be teaching the class. Their new teacher was strict and took no bullshit from the class. It was either hard facts or detention for the day.
Lila tried to lie her way out with the new teacher but was constantly shut down the moment she opened her mouth. As her web began to dwindle, she knew that it was only time before her super loyalist realizes the truth of their “best friend”.
It was a hard-felt battle to the end of the school year. Lila had tried everything to maintain her loyalist to her side. She even went so far to bully Marinette out of the classroom only to be defeated by a wave of Marinette protection squad from another classroom.
Alya still blogged about Lila’s so-called adventure with Ladybug, her following begin to dwindle with the announcement of a Ladybug sponsored blog called Miraculous Out. Alya had a hissing fit and tried everything in her power to control the damage.
For Nino, he was feeling the pressure to getting his big break. Lila had promised him so many opportunities and as the school went along realization began to sit. He tried his hardest to shake Alya out of her Lila induced daze as the time went by, but he had no luck. He wanted to apologize to Marinette for everything that he had done, but the fear of being unforgiven hold him back.
When the school year returned everything was different. Caline Bustier was no longer their teacher. Marinette had transferred out of the class and to a new school all together. Everyone that had a wake-up call suddenly felt sick to their stomach from believing in Lila’s lies and seeing the Italian native. Nothing would ever be the same for them, not after all of this.
Permanent Tag List: @vixen-uchiha | @i-is-mysterious | @kuroko26 | @maribat-is-lifeblood | @marinettepotterandplagg | @loveswifi | @ladybug-182 | @novaloptr | @elijahcrevan | @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen | @rebecarojas07 | @nanakeid
Unspecific Tag List: @g-arya | @jardimazul | @jeminiikrystal | @zalladane | @bluerosette23 | @dast218 | @midnighttreesgaming |
Specific Tag List: @traveling-with-thedoctor | @nexitye | @blueberrinette | @seraphichana |
#queen of mean au#miraculous ladybug fanfic#miraculous ladybug#the empress of mean aftermath#slight class salt#eh I'd tried
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What is social proof? It’s a marketing concept that we are all inadvertently, unknowingly contributing to every time we click on, retweet, like, reply or comment, and share any kind of social media, article, or blog post on the net. Technically, social proof, as defined by Sprout Social is:
The concept that people will follow the actions of the masses. The idea is that since so many other people behave in a certain way, it must be the correct behavior.
Social Proof and Me
As an author, social media is a hugely important part of my author platform, as it is for any writer or blogger. This is how we connect with readers now, even before the pandemic. Virtual, online events are now the norm. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube Live video discussions are the new book signings. Twitter chats are weekly on any number of topics; I have two of my own, in fact, #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est and #BookMarketingChat every Wednesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est.
All important for visibility, branding, and most importantly, connection.
However…there’s a limit. I reached my limit over the course of this past year. It didn’t come all at once. It came, little by little, reaching a peak this past month or so.
Why? How? Me, the so-called social media expert?
Access. Like many people, I have issues with the incredible level of access Facebook gives people once we friend them without our consent. PMs (private messages) are automatic, now with the ability for people to call, voice, and video message us, with no option to shut these options to OFF unless we unfriend the person (we can, however, mute a specific conversation). Technically, we do give them consent in the legal mumbo jumbo we all agreed to when we joined back in the 2010s.
I am not okay with this. And Facebook doesn’t care. Nobody cares. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Karen. Shut up, already. Stop your whining, white lady.” I get it. I do. First-world problems.
I counter with: I hear you. It’s also part of my business. A huge part. Here’s why:
As someone who manages over 70+ various social media accounts as part of my BadRedhead Media business, plus my own accounts as well, Facebook requires I have a personal account in order to manage all those other Pages. I do understand why, particularly with all the ridiculousness of the past four years with the abundance of fake accounts, fake news, and such.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and stalking, this is ultra-concerning to me. So, what happened this past month or so? Suffice it to say, one person repeatedly tried calling me. I never pick up Facebook calls, especially if I don’t know you. Another left me a few voice messages saying they were offended by something.
Yet another left me another message in ALL SHOUTY CAPS that she didn’t find what I posted inspirational enough and she expected better from someone who is “supposedly on the side of authors.”
Oh, and there is the one lady who started replying on ALL my posts to the kind people who did comment that she didn’t think I replied often enough or to her satisfaction.
Well. I’ve been criticized before. You should read some of my 1-star reviews. There’s plenty!
But, for whatever reason, this struck a chord. I got up in my feels. I cried. I talked with one of them and we worked it out because we like and respect each other’s work in the mental health space. The others I blocked. It’s darn frustrating to donate hours of my time each week to helping writers solely because I want to, only to be told it’s not enough. Like, seriously? Fuck off.
My blood raged. My heart sank. Understandable, right?
But what really made me angry is that I put myself in that position by being available. I accepted that ‘it is what it is.’ This is what the social media platforms have given us, so that’s what I have to work within.
I’m too available. It’s too easy to leave me shitty messages. This is why people hire people like me – to handle this crap for them! So they don’t have to read these ridiculous criticisms from judgy people who apparently have nothing better to do or are having a bad day.
And I get bad days. It’s a damn pandemic. We’re all struggling. Where’s the damn compassion for one another?
I have a dislike/hate relationship with Facebook anyway, since about ten or so years ago when I discovered that a past love had died by suicide by going to his personal profile and seeing, “RIP dude,” messages there. We had spoken early that day. It still haunts me.
So…what to do? I’m claiming my time. I’m not posting to my personal Facebook profile right now. I’m ignoring it. I am checking my Pages and of course, my client Pages. When I feel like I can face it again, I will cull my ‘friends’ down from *checks real quick* 4385 people to maybe, I don’t know, the few hundred in my groups, many of whom I do know and treasure.
Social Proof and You
If you’re a writer, social proof matters. This is the world we live in. Publishing is not only writing.
You need to be ‘findable,’ not only on Google, but also on each individual social platform, so your readers can learn more about you and hopefully, buy your books. If you go the traditional route, publishers and agents want to know how many followers you have (easily upped by buying fake followers or likes from Fiverr or wherever). I suggest not doing that, because:
1) fake followers don’t buy books
2) it’s usually pretty obvious when you have fake followers because they’re all foreign names, have questionable bios, and no tweets
3) do you really want to start your publishing career with a lie?
They also want to know what you post, how often, and what your branding is. If you’re an indie author, honestly, the same applies. Social proof is about connection, building relationships, and authenticity. I’ve believed that since I started my business and writing career way back in 2011, and I stand by it now. Start slow, grow slow. It’s not a race.
I’m the furthest thing you’ll even find from a conspiracy theorist – I don’t believe in chemtrails, pizza parlor cabals, or that the earth is flat. However, I am a realist. Watch The Social Dilemma sometime. These huge tech companies share our data without our knowledge or consent (Cambridge Analytics, anyone?). Younger generations are so used to this, they don’t really care – ask them.
(My kids think having a chip implanted in their hands with all their data is a fabulous idea. “So much easier than having to talk and repeat everything over and over. Just scan me and be done with it,” says my daughter Anya (21). “Agree,” grunts my son, Lukas (15). Buy stuff, go to the doctor, whatever. Scan and go. Talk with any GenZ kid, you’ll likely get a similar answer. They’ve been tracked since birth everywhere. They don’t know life without a computer, tablet, or phone in their hands.)
Know that whatever we do, it’s all part of each platforms’ AI, and they share data, which is why that darling pair of shoes you just saw on Amazon is now showing up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, and every website you visit going forward. It’s all about the money, and they all get a piece of that affiliate link.
Every bit of every click is recorded, even when you’re watching videos on YouTube, or a subscription service like Netflix, or perusing goods on Amazon. It’s all connected. I’m not shocked or surprised by any of this, are you?
It’s Not Personal
What people say to us and about us is ultimately incredibly revealing about them. We know this, at an intellectual, psychological, and emotional level. Still, when people say mean things, it hurts. We’re human.
Does it matter in the overall scope of our lives? Who can say. It matters at that moment. It can matter when it comes to overall visibility when you’re marketing your book(s) or trying to get that book contract or interview. Only you can say if it matters to you.
Already a longtime fan of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, I took a moment to reorient myself with this one agreement: Don’t take anything personally. I also stumbled across an excellent short and entertaining TEDTalk by Frederick Imbo. His main message to stop taking things personally is two-fold;
It’s not about me. Look at the other person’s intention and
It IS about me. Give yourself some empathy. Speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel and be vulnerable with your needs.
I’m glad I was able to, inadvertently, employ point #2 and work out some issues with one of the people by telling him what he said made me cry. He apologized. I apologized. We talked it through and we’re still friends.
Ultimately, social media is what we contribute to it. What we make it. How much we allow of it into our lives. Social proof is going along with the tide. I’ve been in this space since 2008. Being connected to others is a big part of the work I do to help and support not only other writers, but also other childhood sexual abuse survivors. However, I’ve reached that point. I knew it was coming.
I’m not shutting my doors. I’m just adding a screen. With a strong lock.
***
Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.
She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in
Broken Places, available in print everywhere!
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The post What Is Social Proof and Does It Matter, Really? appeared first on Rachel Thompson.
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A Protective Streak - Adrienette Protective!Adrien
Marinette was sure it wasn't there before.
'It' was the all the handsome model glory of one Adrien Agreste.
It started after Marinette had nearly gotten expelled from school, courtesy of Lila.
She definitely didn't notice it in the beginning, but as days passed, it became more noticeable.
Whenever Lila so much as looked in her direction, Adrien was there.
Sometimes, he would stare back so long until the Italian girl turned her head away.
Sometimes, when Lila was physically approaching her, Adrien would chat up Marinette in a sudden conversation or ask her questions she was sure he knew the answers to, since some of them were ridiculously easy. He would position himself in front of her or directly in Lila's path, fully blocking Marinette's view of the silently fuming nuisance.
Not that she minded, she would gladly do without seeing Lila's face every day in school.
Still, Adrien's new behavior didn't go unnoticed, even Alya and Nino grew suspicious.
When directly asked about this, Adrien denied any knowledge of his change in attitude, claiming he was the same as always and in a good mood.
Marinette had, at one point, at a point she told herself had been solely her imagination, that Adrien had acted in a manner she would only attribute to Chat Noir.
Lila had sneezed, apparently so strong that she had taken three steps back and had almost struck Marinette with her elbow.
And then, Adrien was there.
Practically leaping in front of Marinette.
Marinette was sure the last time she looked at him, he'd been engaged in a conversation with Nino, looking at said's phone until in the second Lila started to move, he wasn't there anymore.
He didn't seem to mind the elbow that had dug itself into his side, nor the Italian girl's profuse apologies, all Adrien was focused on was Marinette's startled expression, with a suspiciously calm smile. "Hey Marinette, I think I heard Alya calling you. She said something about wanting to show you pictures of Chat Noir and Ladybug."
Said blogger was awestruck herself, phone hanging limply from her hands, jaw slack and eyes unblinking.
It was Nino that broke the moment by placing a hand on Adrien's shoulder, after breaking from his own daze. "Hey dude, you okay? Lila accidentally hit you, that's gotta hurt."
Lips were stretched into a perfect model smile, green eyes deceptively calm. "I'm fine Nino." he looked at Marinette. "Marinette?"
The girl was completely caught off guard, nearly jumping at the question. "W-what? Oh! Y-Yes! Fine me am! I-I mean, I'm fine!"
A kind smile was her answer and a warm hand squeezing her shoulder affectionately, before Adrien left with a dumbstruck Nino following behind him.
Alya had immediately shot to her side, clinging onto her arm. "Girl! Did you see that?! What was that?! Marinette? Marinette?!"
Bonus Scene:
"Hey Lila, mind if I talked to you for a second?" the brunette turned her attention away from Kim, a large smile on her face.
"Yes of course Adrien!" completely disregarding Kim, to whom Adrien shot a quick apologetic smile at, she was led a little ways away from the others exiting class.
Once alone, Adrien turned to her. "What is it you wanted to talk about Adrien?" her sing song sweet voice carried a suspicious undertone, one Adrien was cautious of the day he realized her true nature.
The air suddenly turned still, as if time itself stopped and Lila was frozen as Adrien's normally kind green eyes turned to ice. "Remember our little deal, Lila?"
Not the question, but the tone of the boy's voice sent a shiver racing down her spine, a cold, terrifying feeling she hadn't often experienced. "...Yes, Adrien."
A small smile lit his face, but it wasn't kind. "Good. I really wish you wouldn't forget it. It seemed like you did today." at once, the smile vanished, replaced by piercing, furious emeralds gazing at her. "Wouldn't want our friendship to be broken, right?"
Shock crossed the pretty girl's features, frozen as Adrien rose an eyebrow questioningly and she quickly composed herself to stutter her answer. "Y-Yes, I won't forget again."
And then, the shadow vanished from his features, previously furious eyes now a kind lush green, a smile stretching his lips. The hand on her shoulder was warm but heavy, a small squeeze a final warning. "Good, thank you Lila. It's a good thing we are friends." with that, the model walked away, joining Nino at the bottom of the stairs to go home.
Lila clenched her fists, anger twisting her features until it was replaced by trepidation, Adrien's cold piercing stare rooting her to the spot, their deal echoing in her head.
Because we're friends, aren't we?
Wouldn't want our friendship to be broken, right?
#protective adrien#adrien agreste#adrien protecting marinette#lila is a bitch#lila rossi#adrinette#adrienette#ml fic#ml#miraculous ladybug#adrienette fic#adrien letting out his inner chat#marinette dupaincheng#post ladybug
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oooh for the ask game 24, 30, and 44!
MAGPIE MY BELOVED HELLO
24. What are your favorite episodes?
The only episodes I've really watched are TMWWBK (which is my favorite episode and I'm certain would still be my favorite if I watched every single one because it has the only SPN character and the only SPN line), The French Mistake (which was funny enough but honestly in the Just Okay category for me, which makes me pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy actually watching SPN if this is one of the funniest/highest-rated eps), and Reading Is Fundamental (my best friend was watching it and asked me if I wanted to hop on Discord, I thought it might be fun to see Kevin's first introduction but instead this ep found the two of us taking like 90 minutes to get through it bc we kept pausing and screaming (derogatory) as the model minority stereotype jokes piled up and up and up... Unfortunately not a favorite even if we got Meg AND the "pull my finger" joke AND the "Sorry" shot). Other than TMWWBK, from clipping and transcript-reading, I like Wayward Sisters (who doesn't?), The Things We Left Behind (Claire!!!! Cas trying to be a dad! The diner scene aka my favorite destiel scene of all time bc being in love just looks so good on Cas! Also the parallels between Claire and Randy and teen Dean and the adults at that club in his story... woof.), Golden Time (Eileen gets to be HERE and be sad and loved and fight people with ghost powers and Cas gets to do a cool speech and a stabbing and do the Asian community a favor), and Lucifer Rising (just immensely sexy on all counts for Ruby, Sam, Cas, and myself). Also I am SO fond of Steve!Cas so I'll add Heaven Can't Wait even if I barely know anything about it.
30. What is an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have about the show?
Ooh okay hm I think. So I adore confession scene, but I don't think the "I cared about the whole world because of you" is like. The Objective Truth the way that most bloggers seem to take it. Cas was lobotomized tons of times before he met Dean, he was described as coming off the line with a crack in his chassis, he's always been the weird little angel who likes humanity too much! I don't think Dean came first, and although gay love was part of what helped Cas invent free will, he *Ruby voice* didn't need the feather to fly, Dumbo! I do think Cas believes what he says in the moment, but I also think he sorta... made himself believe it? This is probably just me deciding that cas-coding should go both ways, but like. I very much crush as a coping mechanism and I very much overascribe my actions to love because it simply seems more noble/poetic to do so. Being miserable because school is hard is cringefail but being miserable because of unrequited love is Good Shit. And I have been in unrequited love with my best friend for at least 7 years (probably 9 but I didn't realize it earlier) and if you asked I would 100% say that she taught me love and defined love for me and that she will be my first and last, but I also know that that is not entirely true; it's just the narrative that I like for myself. And I think that being in an Empty deal contingent on whether or not he LETS himself feel happy would lead Cas to do plenty of mental maneuvering, which I think involved intentional self-poor-little-meow-meow-ification via overascribing his choices and happiness to Dean (and I also think he'd already been doing that for a while just because of personal self-worth issues and because it's a nice narrative). I know as Cas's last Moment on the show it was probably written to be The Objective Truth, but I am perceiving him and I say no.
44. If you could write an episode of Supernatural, what would happen?
Oh scream okay! This is a fun one! I am going to start out with two ideas from other people:
1. Months ago Nate from the pocnatural discord had the idea of an episode from the "monster"'s perspective where the Winchesters are just clearly the antagonists while not doing anything different than they usually do. I think the idea was that all these supernatural beings live in a self-regulating community together and we have one Very Likable pov character who's a member of this community, but one of the newer members messes up one day and kills someone and the Winchesters come on a case and wreak havoc on this Very Much Functioning (there was going to be a whole rehab and reparations thing for the new member who messed up!) system and kill pov character and in the end you just HATE Sam and Dean for it.
2. It's hard to adapt anything from bad moon rising (aka my favorite spn fic) very well because the point of an Arab Winchesters season 1 rewrite is that it doesn't really work with the white characters we have now, but I think I could see a version of chapter 2 adapted as long as Haley (an Ojibwe hunter who lives in the area affected by what Sam and Dean are hunting) takes the lead. I'd especially like to see this section:
Dean laughs, a little disbelievingly. The question has never crossed his mind. “Do you like it?”
This gives Haley no pause at all. “Yeah,” she says. “I mean, it’s not really about killing monsters, though, for me. Or, it’s not always about killing monsters. It’s about community. Not violence. It’s a spiritual thing to build a home, you know?”
“Oh,” Dean says. He can’t think of anything else to say. It has never crossed his mind before that hunting could be compatible with a community.
I don't have any original episode ideas to add to the hunting discourse, so we're on to my ideas about character-driven eps. I think I would like to see a version of my sastiel possession fic (ty again for beta-ing that! you're a real one) as an ep around the time of 9.11 because Sam deserves to work through their trauma, but idk what the Dean plot should be for that. Another thing I would like very much is TFW drunk history storytime (so like. Tall Tales bass boosted), where for some reason they all need to go over what they were doing during Stanford era but each of them is telling someone else's story. It's gonna be either Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam or Dean->Sam->Cas->Dean. It starts out very funny (they all have terrible wigs and makeup in the flashbacks. Cas is Jimmy wearing a giant mask with googly eyes on it.) but as it goes on it gets increasingly sad how much these three don't really know each other.
In the Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam episode, Sam's telling of Dean's past veers wildly between "crushing pussy and killing things" and "feels like absolute shit all the time" and it's funny but Not Right and afterwards Dean goes "I didn't know you thought of me that way" and Sam says "... I am basically reading off the voicemails you left me back then" and Dean has to sit there and contend with the mythology he himself wrote for Sam to believe in. Dean->Cas provides the comedic beats for the episode as Dean awkwardly narrates Cas's Life As A Weird Little Guy who watches trees grow and heals babies and in the end Dean goes "so how did I do" and Cas is like "well actually I was either getting lobotomized or murdering people so like 3/10?" The moral of this plot line is that Dean is bi. Cas gives a fairly faithful retelling of Sam living her trans little life at Stanford and veering between trying to be Normal and being a total weirdgirl and feeling guilty and angry and happy and free. It becomes clear that Cas admires Sam a lot (but also feels like. guilt and some self-recrimination for not being that) for rebelling from their dad and exploring their queerness during a time Cas was still to his knowledge in total soldier mode, and Sam is having an a_good_soldier's Thesis 5 moment about how she failed the kid she used to be and how very sorry they are about all the things that happened to them, and Dean hates that this is the first he's hearing about so much of this but is also quite emo about the parts where Sam is struggling. The ep ends with them all in the same room not looking at each other and not knowing if they want to group hug or never talk again.
Dean->Sam->Cas episode is similar but the storytelling dissolves a lot faster as it becomes clearer way faster how much their own emotions are getting in the way. Dean is upset that Sam could leave their family so easily and probably swing a normal life, Sam keeps wondering what it would be like to live millennia just KNOWING that you were right and good and clean, and Cas is gay and veering between fitting Dean's life into a larger Righteous Man narrative and just being very tender (and sad and angry) about Dean's pain. Episode ends in a rather cathartic shouting match where they all end up apologizing to each other for many things.
Oh also I would like to see Cassie again but I don't have an episode in mind there. Also would love to see Kaia adjusting to life in Sioux Falls and befriending the others and dealing with Bad Place trauma.
tysm for the questions sorry for taking so long!
(ask game)
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“favorite salt blogger” eXcUse yOu
But yes, I am absolutely up for another Alya roast.
[All’s Fair in Love and Lore]
First things first, I want to reiterate something I brought up a long time ago (back when I talked about “Mayura”), which is my relationship with lore and how it affects my opinion of an episode.
I see lore as a seasoning, not as a main course, so it’s rather difficult to get me riled up over details about lore. I mean, a lot of people complained about Mayura’s power, for example, but I was not one of those people. The core of my critique and analysis lie in character interactions and plot details, not lore. If the lore is good, great, but if it’s lackluster/bad, I’m not as likely to hammer away at it compared to say, someone like Alya (we’ll get to her in a moment, I promise).
Anyway, I’m gonna be honest in saying that I wasn’t expecting Fu’s foe to be a sentimonster of his own creation. I mean, we’d known for a long time that the destruction of the temple was caused by something that Fu did, but we didn’t know what until now.
As for the reasoning itself, I’m mostly on board because Fu was like, a dumb teenager who didn’t even want to be a guardian, so the fact that it was a silly mistake makes sense to me. My biggest gripe is honestly just that they didn’t clarify how Fu dropped his staff and then couldn’t go after it. Is it going to be revealed after all this time that the man can’t swim?
(that problem might’ve been solved had the flashbacks shown less and been more vague visually; same applies to him talking about losing the grimoire and peacock+butterfly)
I’m aware that a lot of people thought that there’d be more build-up/tension from Fu making a mistake that literally destroyed a whole temple, and I think the reason for that is that we, as an audience, weren’t told that it was such a small mistake. When we see the temple being destroyed and Fu looking on with regret, it makes the situation seem really big and important, like Fu trusted someone he shouldn’t have and that someone was a big bad of some kind.
I can’t blame people for being disappointed, but considering that the temple and all its residents were brought back in the end, I’m glad it was just a foolish mistake made by a salty hungry teen that could simply be reversed, because Fu didn’t deserve to live his entire life feeling guilty over it. Like, yeah, there are some obvious things that should probably be addressed (i.e: the fact that these residents have been gone for almost 200 years) but eh, details, I don’t really care that much.
Though, I guess we know why Wang “bicycle away from all problems” Fu isn’t that great as a guardian now; he’s had a few years of training at best. It doesn’t excuse everything he did and I wish it was more of a plot point but still.
Plus, him being like, “yeah, forget how the actual guardians tried to teach me because clearly that did nothing for me mentally,” was very amusing to me and also, yeah, I don’t think that starving teens for 24 hours who don’t even want this darn job is a great idea either.
That said, I do feel like this episode kind of has the “Ladybug” problem where they’re focusing on two characters at once, and in both “Ladybug” (an episode that should be Marinette-centric) and “Feast” (an episode that should be Fu-centric), that second character is Nathalie/Mayura. I don’t technically have an issue with Nathalie getting focus in a narrative sense (though, am I the only one who thinks that the foreshadowing in “Ladybug” over Emilie using the peacock is pointless now? I felt like Adrien saying “the same thing happened to my mom” is enough.), but when Fu already doesn’t get a lot of focus outside of plot-centric episodes (technically Marinette doesn’t either but she has screen time), I feel bad for the guy. I think Nathalie’s plot points could’ve been used better in an episode like “Miraculer” since Chloe already gets more than enough focus.
Granted, if this episode was a two-parter, I would’ve been all for Nathalie getting focus because this episode is about a sentimonster, so it makes sense, but I don’t think the episode was able to touch on both topics in full in the time it had, and it’s just weird in general that this season is a downgrade from Season 2 in that respect, where Season 2 had multiple two-parters (one of them technically being a three-parter) whereas Season 3 only has one two-parter. I believe I’ve talked about it before, but now it’s two episodes that could’ve been worthy of being two-parters (three if counting “Miraculer” but I was reaching on that one), so it’s even more noticeable than before.
What I do like about the episode is the Marinette and Fu interactions along with Marinette and Adrien being heroic civilians. It was also interesting to see Wayzz lecturing Fu about how Fu was making a mistake because it’s nice seeing Wayzz have more input on the matter.
Also, Plagg playing piano with Adrien was good. I guess Sadrien was inevitable since Nathalie’s sick but thank goodness it’s brief.
...you know what I didn’t like though?
[Abandon Hope, Alya Who Enter Here]
Gosh darn--Alya, I swear, I leave you alone for one episode (for the most part) and I guess you didn’t like that or something because DANG.
Now, look, I totally get Alya being in pursuit of more information. In fact, I'd be in full support if we got to see more of Alya coming up with in-depth theories, whether they're true or not.
The problem is that Alya has no tact when doing so, and this brings me all the way back to "Oblivio" when I rambled about the fact that Alya took that photo and posted it online without Ladybug's permission, despite Ladybug having trusted her, given her an interview, and gave her a miraculous on multiple occasions.
And I do not believe for one second that Alya ever gave up on figuring out Ladybug's identity here. She clearly gets nervous when Marinette calls her out for it, and I don't see "figuring out Hawk Moth's identity" as her only goal.
Her actions here are particularly insulting because of the severity in what she's doing. Either Alya believes that her theory isn't accurate and that's why it's okay to post it, or she's just that reckless in what she's doing.
Considering her track record, I'm inclined to go with the latter.
Furthermore, Alya explaining all of these things when she already has a video about it on her blog is dumb for two reasons. One is that she's presuming that neither Marinette nor Alix follow her blog (at the very least, she presumed that Marinette did back in "Dark Cupid"), and two, she put her blog first and her friends second when prioritizing who should know. It just seems superfluous for her to tell her friends this information when she's already made a video about it (at least run it by them for a quality check first jfjisoshfhf).
And speaking of prioritizing who should know, Ladybug should know and Alya doesn’t even run it by her first either. Presuming that “The Mime” happened by now (basically impossible for it to have not), Marinette has already given Alya an interview with Ladybug, so Marinette should be the first one that Alya goes to so she can be like, “Hey, can you get a hold of Ladybug again so I can ask if this is accurate/helpful?”
I dread what would’ve happened had Alya gotten her hands on the grimoire somehow. Every single page would’ve been posted to the Ladyblog without a single thought and the mere idea of that is horrifying.
The fact that Alya mentions Hawk Moth yet doesn’t even realize the gravity of what she’s doing is ridiculous, and going further to have Marinette apologize to Fu for giving Alya the fox miraculous but not having it be directly addressed (i.e: not having Ladybug visit Alya to talk about privacy; again, having this be a two-parter would’ve been nice) while Alya clearly learns nothing by the end of the episode is just--
it’s dumb. Alya wouldn’t even have needed to get a talking to by Ladybug anyway if the episode had just had Alya see the crushed/missing statue at the museum and made the connection that, “oh, I posted a video about this statue and now the statue is gone and a terrible monster hungry for miraculouses with that same symbol on its head showed up not too long after HMMMMMMM.” The episode claims that Alya is a great journalist only to then not have her connect the dots because... like, tunnel vision, I guess???
And that wouldn’t be a problem if it were just addressed, but instead, now we have yet another female character who has their hero status brought into question, leaving Ladybug as the only female who is undoubtedly trustworthy (not counting Alix, the eventual bunny holder).
It’s so baffling to me that the episode goes out of its way to bring up the issue of what Alya’s doing and why it’s dangerous, only to then not discuss it further. I don’t know if the episode went through rewrites that ended with the scene cut out, but that scene would’ve been important unlike... say, Alya getting on Marinette’s case for staring at Adrien (and the award for the most irrelevant scene in this episode goes to--).
I mean, despite what I said about the episode itself and it needing more time in general, the episode can’t spend time on pointing out that Alya has made a mistake only to then not take the time to address it and instead show that Alya hasn’t learned anything.
Thus, given “Reflekdoll” and now this, we see that even if Alya is clearly at fault and/or needs to learn a lesson, regardless of whether the writers are aware of it/point it out or not, nothing will come of it.
*sigh*
#((In which I complain about Alya and nothing else.))#category: long post#word count: over 1000#category: salt#category: neutral#episode: Feast#other: ask and answer
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Adrienette one-shot where Adrien is a singer and Marinette-a songwriter.
“Oh, Adrien, why did we come here?” the ravenette asked her boyfriend, “I mean, we prepared so much and dressed nicely and this place is not really the one you would want us to celebrate. “
The beautiful couple was standing in front of a small cafe. The breeze was softly going through their hair.
Marinette was wearing a nice black dress with high back boots, a really elegant necklace with a butterfly and earrings with the same design. Her black hair was tied half up half down and her bangs were covering the girl’s forehead.
Adrien was wearing a nice black suit he also wore at his best friend’s wedding, also a popular DJ, Nino, who married none other than the famous blogger, Alya C ésaire. Also, he wore the same suit at Rose and Juleka’s , his makeup artists, 3-year dating anniversary.
“Well, you see, today it’s 7 years since we met, remember?” The blonde said as he was letting his girlfriend enter by keeping the door open.
“How can I forget? It was one of the best days of my life.”
“Hello, I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the songwriter. And I think you are the famous singer Adrien Agreste, or a lookalike. It happened to me once. I was fooled. Ugh that little brat. Sorry, I am too talkative when I'm excited. Ahem Nice to meet you.”
“Yes, I am the original Adrien Agreste. No copy, thankful to know that? “ His tone was extremely cold and unpleasant, like he hasn’t smiled for years.
Adrien Agreste, the Adrien Agreste, he was a really popular teenage singer who was put into the industry when he was really young. His passion for music convinced his father to make the boy a successful singer when he was only 10 years old. Adrien hated public though. Each fan was a burden to him and so were haters. His dream was to be able to sing in front of his family and the love of his life, Kagami . That didn’t happen, as eventually his childhood friend moved to Japan, where she was born.
“Adrien, I am really sorry, but I can’t date you and our age is not the thing that matters here. Aside from the fact that we’re literally 11, I will move to Tokyo and I don’t have a choice. I wouldn’t if I could choose. You know I love you and I'll be emotionally there for you if you need me. I just hope we’re going to meet again as friends and I really want you to find another love. There are plenty of girls in this world that would love to date you when you grow up. Just please, follow your dreams and don’t care about what others say about you. You are amazing and nobody will ever cange that. Just please don’t miss me too much.”
That night the blonde couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about what he’d do without the girl that understood him the most. At least he had his mother to be by his side, right?
Wrong. Two years later she died because of a heart attack. Seeing her son being bullied was making her burn inside, eventually causing her heart to stop.
At the woman’s funeral, everyone was crying, but nobody compared to as much as her son did. He couldn’t believe he lost his dear mother that cared so much about him. Another person that left him. Now there was nobody to understand, so like that, the boy became numb.
“Good, I am really glad to meet you.” The ravenette said confused, but with a smile planted on her face.
Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a secret songwriter who no one know about except for a few singers she worked with. She wasn’t very popular everywhere like Adrien, but in her school, everyone respected her. Her life seemed perfect, but it was far from it. She was good at each subject and studied a lot to get good grades. The blue-eyed girl was a good student, not a perfect one, but way better than average for sure. But she wasn’t liked by everyone, as there were people who were extremely jealous of her behavior and school success.
"Uh huh. I just want to get This over with. Just show me your song, I’ll tell you if I like it, then I’m going home.” A frown was written on his handsome face.
“I would actually recommend you to go to a coffee shop with me to know each other better. It's always nice to make new friends, you know?” The girl was nervous, but could hide it like a pro.
“Friends? You mean these people who say that will always stick by your side and then they leave you when you need them most? Is that what friends are for?!” The singer started yelling at the poor girl who was getting more and more confused by each sentence that came from the boy’s mouth.
“I-I'm sorry if I offended y ou , I never meant to say anything to hurt you.“
“No, it’s ok, I sometimes get angry, not a lot of times, but it happens, so I’m sorry for yelling at you. Actually, let’s go to that coffee shop, I have to make it up to you.” His voice was calming, yet full of boredom and annoyance.
“No, you don’t. I said something I shouldn’t have said and I’m really sorry. I shou your l would’ve agreed to plan and I didn’t realize that sooner. I hope you can forgive me and we can still work together.” Marinette talked to him clearly having sadness in her sweet voice.
“Are you always like this, I mean you feel bad even if you never did anything wrong?”
“Yes, that’s part of my personality, I have constant mood swings when it comes to how people feel about me. It’s nothing, just mental condition I was born with.” As she said these things, her eyes began to water. “Anyways, here’s the song, I hope you like it and if you want some changes call me.” She couldn’t keep her tears anymore and started crying.
I feel like a failure now, I made her cry, how could I do such thing to a girl that did nothing wrong to deserve that.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to bring such a topic in this conversation. It’s not your fault. If there should be anyone who’s sorry, it’s me. And thank you, I’ll look through it. If you want to bout your condition, you can text me.”
Something about this girl makes me feel different than usual, like she’d actually understand me. With her condition, I am sure she wouldn’t mind my situation. I really need someone to talk to, even if I promised to myself to never have a friend again, I think I’ll make an exception this time. It’s like she awakened a side of me that fell asleep a long time ago. The soft side of me that could only appear in front of Kagami or my mom.
“I really look up to talk to you more Adrien, until then, I hope you won’t hate me, you know, for talking to you in a wrong way.” There was some regret in her big bluebell eyes
“Again, stop apologizing, it’s going to be ok. Now where is that coffee shop you liked?”
The girl’s eyes widened at the sound of those words, she thought that the blonde would never forgive her. But she was really thankful he did, so the ravenette decided to answer his question.
“It’s down the corner. It really has good coffee so I guess we can go there.“
At the coffee shop, they started talking about the song, each one of them trying to avoid the conversation that might destroy the way they thought about each other.
“Wow, you really are a talented songwriter, you know, I am really honored to work with you. But I have an idea, what if we change that B4 into a a4, I can hit it better. And I think it’s better to hit falsettos here, like b5 falsettos. In rest I want to leave it how it was in the beginning; I think it really suits my voice. I think you’re an awesome songwriter. By the way, what’s your goal?” The green-eyed boy’s voice began being friendlier and friendlier each sentence.
There’s something about this girl that makes me feel like I need friends again. I clearly missed having nice chats with people, right now when I talk to someone is just about songs or something similar. NO! I should probably stop. She may leave me just lie Kagami did and I really don’t need another heartbreak because of stupid friendship. It means nothing, all it’s for is just really fun and taking. I’m a singer and I shouldn’t waste my time on this kind if bs.
“My goal is to have many awards for best songwriter. What’s yours?” She said with a nice smile on her face.
“My goal is to be stronger emotionally, I have no career goals.“
Oh no, I slipped, she probably thinks I'm weird now. Ugh, I should’ve been more careful when it comes to this kind of stuff.
“It’s such an underrated goal, I actually have the same intention, kind of. You know, you don’t really care about what others think of you, while I do. If someone doesn’t like me, I’d die to make myself look good in front of them. So, my other goal is to make everyone happy.“
“But you don’t need someone to tell you who you really are. I personally think you’re awesome.”
“Thanks, and even though it might not matter a lot to you, but I think you’re an amazing person as well when someone gets to know you better. By the way, would you like to meet tomorrow as well? We can talk so much and maybe become friends. If, you want me to be your friend of course.”
Is it weird that I feel the same way I felt with Kagami ? I should probably keep my promise to her. She just wanted me to be happy and I neglected her wish.
“I would love to be friends as well” the blonde smiled back at the girl that was sitting in from of him. ”But where should we meet?”
“What do you think about this place? I think it’s comfortable and silent here. Plus, your fandom doesn’t seem to bother coming at this place.”
“So, we’ll meet here tomorrow at 4 pm. Is that ok?’
“Yes, it sure is.” The ravenette said with a wide smile.
As they both left and waved goodbye, nice thoughts were going through their heads.
“I can’t forget how could you were from the beginning and your words were softening one by one while talking to me. That’s when I realized that there was more of Adrien Agreste then what we see on the internet.”
“Honestly me neither, I used to be so salty at everyone when I was young. It makes me so disappointed of myself. Being so cold to people who loved and supported me was a big mistake. That’s how I started getting more haters.” His face was getting darker.
“But you changed, that’s what really matters Adrien.” The young bluebell-eyed woman put her hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder. Her touch made him feel relaxed again.
“And you stuck by my side no matter what, and you know, this is also the place I asked you to date me and we had our first kiss.”
Adrien was preparing his speech for the love of his life, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, also his songwriter. He really wanted to date her, but never had the courage to confess his feelings until then. Many thoughts were flowing in his head, good and bad ones. He had some roses in his hand for the confession moment.
“Hey Marinette, I see you came.” The blonde said with a nervous smile.
“How could I not, you invited me here and I am really happy you did. What was so important you wanted to tell me? And what’s with these flowers ?”
“Oh, these are for you” as he said that, he handed her the bouquet .
She became a blushing mess because of the blood rushing to her cheeks.
“Uh-um ok, thank you” the words were hardly coming from her mouth, yet they were full of passion.
“Also, I wanted to tell you that I love you in a different way, not like friends, but romantically. Ever since we’ve met, you made each one of my days brighter, all the days I met you, I was actually happy, something I haven’t felt a long time ago. You are the reason I can laugh and smile, the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I go out there and perform. I actually sing these songs from my heart, because they were written by you. Every day my thoughts about you are flowing like a river and I can’t stop them. At first, I wanted to ignore them, but it was no use, I didn’t want to destroy our friendship. I hope you can accept me and I really want you to be my girlfriend.” The confession was even more beautiful when he thought about it. He didn’t mean to say all those beautiful words, but he truthfully spoke from his heart, so they were inevitable. The time he spent with her influenced him in a good way. The blonde had never felt this way, not even with Kagami.
“B-but I understand if you don’t see me as more than a friend”
“Adrien...”
“I just hope this won’t affect our friendship.“
“Adrien...”
“You mean so much to me and I can’t lose you.”
“Adrien!”
“I really care about you and I can’t imagine my life without you.”
She had had enough of his stupid muttering and decided to kiss the boy who looked so hopeless about his love. As her warm lips touched his, confusing could be clearly read on his face, but he melted into the kiss. Their lips started moving in sync and it looked like they were going to make out for an hour long, but air was really important, so they parted their mouths to take oxygen. Small smiles were written on their precious faces. The world seemed like it had stopped for a few seconds before he leaned in for the second kiss. This time, it felt even better than the previous one, his arms on her small waist, and her hands on his neck.
‘Adrien, yes, I will be your girlfriend.”
“Here we had our most beautiful moments, it’s a blessed place for our relationship, so today, I wanted to ask you something. The 25-year-old blonde was looking at his girlfriend like at the sun. He kneeled down, took her small hand and asked:
‘Marinette Dupain-Cheng, will you marry me, will you spend the rest of your life with me?’
The ravenette was caught by surprise, she was speechless. No other word except for a small yes could come out of her mouth, but in a few seconds, she regained her ability to talk.
“Yes, Oh My God, yes, a million times yes, I will be your wife.”
They walked out of the building with the biggest smiles possible, both extremely happy about their engagement.
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanworks#adrienette#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#kagami tsuguri#nino x alya#engagement#best singer#singer au#songwriter
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Now That I Saw You
If you can believe it, this was not supposed to be this long. I don’t think I’ve ever said that about anything I’ve written, so I can tell that you’re all surprised. :/
But I was pleasantly surprised by this little fic. I didn’t remember writing it, but I just went back to read it, and I kind of love it. I currently have very vague and far off plans for a part two. If it works out how I want it to, it’ll be out sometime in December for a nice Christmasy feel.
WC: 3k
ff.net | AO3
James had been at least 73% annoyed and frustrated since Lily had declared that it was probably time that they ended this fake relationship that they had toted around all summer.
It had been good for the both of them, having a partner to attend events with, having someone who was equally as appealing to the gossip mags and high society bloggers. All they had to do was hold hands and laugh in a public space and their faces would get splashed all over the internet and page six.
But the season was over, and the only thing that could get them anymore publicity at this point, was to break up in public. A nice big fight, something vague that didn’t spread the blame to unevenly on one person or the other. They were both going to have to walk away looking sympathetic, which wasn’t always easy, but they had sat down and come up with a pretty solid plan. There would be no ‘other person’ there would be no backstabbing or need for revenge. It would be a nice clean break where they angrily fell out of love.
It was a good plan.
James had told Lily that he thought it was a good plan when they’d finished with it. But then she’d hugged him goodbye before getting into her town car and he felt like kicking the fire hydrant.
Sirius was annoyed with him for being so annoyed, Peter had taken to leaving the room whenever James came in and Remus had just avoided coming over at all these last few days. He might have had a valid reason, but James was 73% annoyed and frustrated and so he couldn’t think of one. He just thought his friends were being arseholes.
The day that they were meant to break up was the last big party of the season, Labor Day weekend. And after that, everyone was going to fly back to their country homes where the new season would begin, with new people and new events and no Lily.
He wasn’t completely thick, he knew that he was as annoyed and frustrated as he was, because he didn’t want to say goodbye to Lily. She’d grown on him over the course of the summer, her and her endearing snorty laughter and argumentative nature and she always told the most ridiculous jokes that she laughed at just as much as anyone else did. She was kind and outspoken and full of life and he didn’t want to pretend to break up with her, because he wanted to be dating her for real.
So he wasn’t completely thick, because he knew all of that. But he was a little thick, because he hadn’t done anything about it.
No, he hadn’t done the only obvious thing that one should do in this situation.
He hadn’t told Lily.
And while the thought of telling her that he harbored actual feelings for her was utterly mortifying, he knew that he should for two reasons.
The first, being that he was going mad not telling her. It was really draining to sit on these feelings while pretending to have fake romantic feelings for her in public and then pretending to have only friendly feelings toward her in private.
And the second reason being, because he had nothing to lose. If she didn’t have feelings for him, then they would part ways same as if he had said nothing. Nothing harmed but his ego. And perhaps his own feelings, but being brave in the face of one’s heart was necessary on occasion.
And Lily wasn’t thick either. While she did seem completely oblivious to his feelings, she was not oblivious to the cooler side he’d taken with her, or his snappish remarks. He was no longer his cheerful self around her, and she was getting annoyed with him too.
“Look,” She’d said when they were having lunch last week at her place. They were at her place instead of out and about because it was just as good for their story to have people see him coming and going from her apartment. He’d even spent a few nights on her couch so that he could be seen leaving her place early in the morning. She’d stay out in the living room with him, bowls of junk food passed between them as they watched trashy reality tv and laughed about how they were fooling the world.
“I don’t know if I did something to offend you, but you don’t need to treat me like this. If you want to act all annoyed in public, that’s one thing, it’ll make people speculate that we’re about to end things, but no one else is here right now James,” She motioned to her empty dining room. “It’s just you and me. So cut it out, or leave.”
He left.
The next time they had seen each other, Lily was as equally annoyed as he was, and they ended up arguing over where they should go to dinner in front of a well-hidden blogger. News of their bickering spread rapidly over the next couple of days, which only annoyed Lily more, even though she’d said that she would be alright with them getting caught bickering in public.
It became a game of escalation. He’d push her buttons and she’d rip out his circuit breaker. She’d rip the tablecloth off the table and he’d go for the rug under her feet.
And that’s where they were when they arrived at the end of season Labor Day party. Spitting mad and itching to fight.
She looked absolutely stunning in her white sundress, but he would be loathed to tell her that now. Her hair was half up and she hadn’t straightened it, so she looked like she belonged here on this beach. Perhaps at any moment she would transform into a mermaid and just jump into the sea.
But again, there would be no compliments from him tonight.
He walked along next to her, trying not to pout as she appeared to float. He tried to exchange pleasantries with the people who greeted him, and he tried to keep a smile on his face.
“Would you stop that,” Lily elbowed him as she led them both over to the drink table. “You look like you’ve been kicked.”
“Elbowed, not kicked,” He said, rubbing the spot on his arm where her elbow had hit him.
“Honestly, James,” She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s come over you, but you’ve been acting like a child for weeks now. Today is the last day, alright? After this you’ll never have to see me again.”
The way she said it made his blood boil. Like disappearing from his life was a fucking favor that he asked for. Like she didn’t care one way or the other. Like this was what he wanted.
If he was calmer, he would have realized that she had every reason to think that this was what he wanted, he had been acting like a child for a couple of weeks now. If he had just been honest with her from the beginning, then there would be no need for all of this arguing and fighting and frustration.
If he had been honest, he wouldn’t have dug himself into the hole he was in now.
He stood up straighter and walked over to the bar, ordering a rum and coke, downing the entire thing without leaving the bar and then ordering a second, and a dry martini for Lily. He picked up both drinks and went off to find her.
She was seated on a white couch on the edge of the deck laughing at something Marlene McKinnon was saying. James forced himself to smile and took a seat next to Lily, “Darling,” He said quietly, holding out the drink.
“Thank you, love,” She said, and he could see the look in her eye letting him know that she thought she had won something. She thought that he was going to behave now because she had scolded him.
That didn’t sit right with him either.
And perhaps that’s when he decided that he wasn’t going to break up with her today. No, if she wanted to end things with him, then he would make it as difficult for her as he could. She wouldn’t be walking away looking very sympathetic.
The party carried on and James felt himself start to relax now that he had a plan that would throw Lily for a loop. Perhaps it wasn’t fair of him, but the more rum and coke he drank, the more he thought it was entirely fair of him.
He asked her to dance when the music came on, he kept bringing her drinks and sweets, he kept reaching for her hand or putting an arm around her. And all the while, he could see her getting more and more confused. They were supposed to be building up to a breakup and James was acting more in love with her than he had at any point in the last two weeks.
“I’m glad you got rid of the bug that was living in your arse,” She whispered as he leaned over to kiss her temple. “But you’re laying it on a bit thick now, don’t you think?”
He laughed as though she’d just said something teasing and cute and pulled back, “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”
“Don’t be a dick, James,” She said, her smile not slipping in the slightest.
He pressed his lips together and tossed back the rest of his drink. “Right, my sincerest apologies.”
“You two are just too cute!” Dorcas Meadows walked up to them with Gwen and Hestia Jones on her heels. “Power couple of the season, right girls?”
“Oh yes,” They both twittered, and James wanted to know if these girls knew that his and Lily’s relationship was as fake as their smiles were. Was anyone actually in love in the Hamptons or was it all just for show?
“I can’t believe her,” Lily huffed, seeing right through Dorcas’ fake compliments. “She’s only mad because the charity ball that we hosted raised more money than hers did. She might have raised more if she had chosen a real charity though,” Lily finished off her drink as well and then set down the glass.
“Right,” James nodded. “Didn’t she want to start a fund to make fur coats for hairless cats too? She’s ridiculous, Lily. Same as nearly everyone else here.”
Lily looked at him, holding back a laugh. He could tell because her eyes got wide for just a moment and her lips were pressed firmly together. She cleared her throat. “I forgot about the hairless cats.” She said, slowly nodding her head. He felt like kicking himself. How had things gotten so bad between them? She didn’t even feel like she could laugh in front of him anymore.
“Alright, let’s get this show on the road before people start leaving,” She said, pushing herself off the railing they were leaning on. “We’ll go over near the band where more people will see us, but fewer people will be able to hear what we’re saying.”
“I don’t think we should go near the band,” James said, shaking his head. “We should probably go to the middle of the room. That’s where-“
“No, people would be listening too closely if we were in the middle of the room.” She cut him off as she looked around the room.
“We could just start arguing here.” He said, but he was fairly sure that she wasn’t listening to him. He reached over and took her hand. She turned to look at her. “We had a good summer, yeah? These last couple of weeks not withstanding?”
She narrowed her brows at him. “We were having a great summer until you decided to be an arse.”
“I don’t think I was the only one who decided to be an arse.” She had kicked him out of her house instead of asking him what was wrong. Or at least, that’s how he was choosing to remember it.
“Gee, thanks, James. I’m going to remember you so fondly.” She squeezed his hand a bit harder than necessary and then started to lead him across the deck, toward the band. James had been planning for them to be in the middle of the room, but he supposed the band would do just as well.
He plastered a love drunk smile on his face and let her lead him through the crowd. When they reached the band, she rounded on him with a look on her face that was a perfect blend of angry and heart broken. James felt his breath get caught in his throat. He squeezed her hand and stepped closer, reaching up and cupping her face. “I’ve decided that I don’t want to do this.” He said quietly. “I don’t care about the publicity or what people think, I don’t want to do this.”
She narrowed her brow and shook her head. “No, you promised. We’ve known all season that this is how this would end, James. I’ve no qualms about making you the bad guy here if you refuse to play along.”
“Fine,” He sighed. “You want to create a spectacle? You want to give them all something to talk about for the off season? Then that’s what we’ll do.” He let go of her and took a step back, looking her over for a minute as he steeled himself for what he was about to do. He watched her clench her fists at her sides and he grinned at her before turning toward the band and stepping up onto the stage.
“James?” He heard her warning tone but ignored it.
“I’m so sorry,” He said to the band as they petered off in their playing, giving him looks of confusion. “Do you mind if I borrow this for a moment?” He asked, pointing at the microphone. They looked at each other and then one of them shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead.
By the time he stepped up to the microphone, most of the room was already quiet. They had seen him step up, they had noticed the music stop, and now they were all looking at him expectantly, excitedly.
“Good evening everyone,” He said, hearing his heart pounding in his ears. He was about 99% frustrated and annoyed now. And it was all Lily’s fault. She had her plans and she wouldn’t listen to him, so if he had to hijack things to get a word in, that that’s what he would do. “I promise not to steal too much of your evening, but I have a few things that I’d like to say, and since you have all been with Lily and I throughout the summer, I wanted you all to be a part of this,”
There was a collective intake of breath as some of the party goers started to speculate about what he was going to say. James chanced a look at Lily, and while her arms were crossed over her chest, she had managed to wipe all emotion from her face entirely.
“Lily and I have grown up in your company, you’ve all been with us for so long. And this summer you got to see us fall in love. We’d always ran on the outside of the same circle before this summer, and so while I’ve always noticed how beautiful she was, it had been from afar. And then our good friend, Remus,” He found Remus in the crowd, he was standing near the back of the deck with Peter and Sirius and nodded at him, looking entirely gob smacked. “Remus had the good sense to get the two of us in the same room and the rest is history.” He looked at Lily again, his smile growing as he noticed her cheeks were staining red. Perhaps she still hadn’t figured out where he was going, perhaps she thought he might have opted for an extra public break up.
He debated for just a moment if that’s what he should do instead. But then he pressed on. “Finding Lily has been the greatest joy in my life thus far. Learning what will make her laugh and what will make her scoff, taking the time to memorize her favorite foods, drinks, candies, shoes,” He paused to allow the room to laugh, which they did. “It’s all been an adventure that I wouldn’t trade for anything.” Now he turned to Lily.
“My darling,” He let his hand jump up to his hair now, it’s where it wanted to be, and it made everything seem more authentic. “I don’t want this summer to end. I know that we have only been dating for a few short months, but I have never been more certain about anything than I am about you.” He had no idea where he was pulling all this bullshite from, but he kept on going. “From the first time we danced, I knew that I wanted to hold you in my arms for the rest of my life. From the first time we kissed, I knew that you were it for me. Will you join me up on stage for a moment?” He reached out a hand and was almost shocked to find that she looked to be on the verge of tears as she reached out to take his hand.
She stepped up onto the stage and kept her hand in his. “Lillian Jane Evans,” He kept his eyes locked on hers while he made sure that his voice still projected throughout the venue. “Will you marry me?”
The resounding gasp of excitement throughout the room was almost enough to drown out Sirius’ bewildered exclamation of quite the expletive.
Lily, pro that she was, waited until the crowd had gone quiet again before she answered. She started nodding, letting some of the tears spill over onto her cheeks. “Yes,” She said, reaching up her free hand to wipe at the tears. “Yes, James, of course I will.” And then she threw her arms around his neck.
James felt a bit dumbstruck now. She wasn’t supposed to say ‘yes.’
“You’re going to regret this,” Lily whispered in his ear. “I’m going to make damn well sure that you regret this.” And then she pulled back, beaming at him and James felt the threat all the way in his bones.
What the bloody hell had he gotten himself into?
#my fic#jily#jilytober#au jily#jily fic#james potter#lily evans#fake dating#fake engagement#high brow au#i don't know if that's a thing
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A Shy ‘Sparrow’: Chapter 3 - Caught On Camera
Author’s Note: Aaaaaah! It's been so long I'm sorry! The chapters I wrote are directly related so I didn't want to post one without the other, but somehow my mind forgot the fact that those chapters are 4 & 5, and I've only posted 1 & 2, which leaves 3 available to me to post.
I just realized that, and I felt bad, so I'm trying to post it now, though I've got to go somewhere quick so I'm on a bit of time crunch.
Chapter Summary: Sparrow's existence is finally confirmed publicly.
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Another akuma attack over. The hooded heroine follows her usual routine at this point. She brings back her crane sentimonster, waving as it goes to fly over the city as usual. The girl floats across the rooftops as she makes her way back home. She does her best to stay out of sight.
She doesn’t see the blogger on the streets below her, camera raised.
---
Attention CatChroniclers! I have some big news!
We’re all aware of the theories regarding Chat Noir’s potential partner. People have been insistent that the distractions that have been appearing during battles are the work of someone behind the scenes, despite the fact that Chat Noir insists he knows nothing about them.
I myself certainly think that many of these occurrences seem almost too convenient.
Well, after today’s battle, I saw a brown figure jumping away on the rooftops. I got a clear picture, and I personally think that they look like they could be a hero!
Clearly they aren’t Ladybug themed, as the prevailing theory claims, but the animal theme is there!
Paris, I’d like you to meet Sparrow!
(Name open to change once they give me an interview 😉 ).
“Plagg? Alya posted something about me having a partner?” Adrien calls to his Kwami cautiously. He’s not sure what to make of this.
“And? What’s new? That’s all those morons talk about on there anyways,” Plagg retorts disinterestedly from where he’s eating his camembert.
“No, like, she got a picture of some bird person jumping across the rooftops.”
“Bird person…?” Plagg floats over to sit on Adrien’s head, he reads the accompanying text quickly. “Pull up that picture, kid.”
“So, like, I know you mentioned that a Ladybug hero might join me, but is there a Sparrow miraculous…?”
“No, but…” Plagg narrows his eyes suspiciously, “Zoom in on the thing holding their cape together.” Adrien does as he’s told, “What is it?”
Plagg shoots forward, hovering in front of the screen before turning to Adrien seriously, “That’s the Peacock miraculous.”
“What? But I thought that was lost! And peacocks are blue!”
“I guess someone found it. Peacocks are blue, yes, but peahens aren’t. See how their neck is blue? Definitely a peafowl.”
Adrien frowns in confusion, pulling up an image of a peahen to compare the two’s coloring.
“So they’re a girl?” “Not necessarily, they just… don’t want to attract attention,” Plagg pauses, thinking, “Alright Kitten, there’s someone you need to meet.”
---
“Plagg, this better not be another cheese shop.”
“Kid, as much as I love tricking you into taking me to cheese shops, this time I’m actually taking you somewhere miraculous related,” Plagg assures his chosen.
Adrien mutters under his breath bitterly as he knocks, “If you tell me that that their cheese is a miracle I’m throwing out your camembert.”
The door opens, revealing an old man in a hawaiian shirt, “How can I help you young man?”
Adrien tries to think of a way to respond without revealing too much to this man. He’s not sure if this stranger knows about the miraculous or not.
Before he can answer, Plagg shoots out of his pocket, “Ugh, we are not doing this whole thing. Adrien this is the Guardian of the miraculous, so you don’t have to worry about revealing things, and Fu my kitten is here because I’ve decided he’s ready and blah-de blah all that jazz.”
A turtle Kwami floats into view, “Plagg, there is nothing wrong with being cautious.”
“It always takes forever though, we’re here because we found something important,” Plagg groans.
The Guardian (Fu, Plagg had called him?) leads them into what is presumably the main room.
“Before we begin, Adrien, I’d like to introduce myself. I am Master Fu, and, as Plagg stated, I am the Guardian of the miraculous. This is Wayzz, he is the turtle Kwami.”
“The Guardian?”
“Yes, I am in possession of every miraculous, and am in charge of distributing them as I see fit. That said, the Butterfly and Peafowl were lost long ago, so finding out that the Butterfly was in Paris was quite the relief, if only it weren’t being used for evil,” the man shakes his head regretfully.
“Actually, we found Duusu,” Plagg interrupts, “She’s in Paris too.”
“What? Where is she?” Wayzz asks excitedly, leaning closer.
Adrien pulls out his phone, showing them the photo he had saved. He passes the device to Fu so that the pair can get a closer look.
“My friend Alya posted it to her blog. She said that they were leaving the attack after the akuma was defeated,” Adrien adds, “I’m pretty sure they’ve been causing distractions during the fights and healing the damage.”
“Healing damage to that extent must be tiring. On top of assisting during akuma attacks, it is impressive that they have been able to keep out of sight,” Fu remarks.
“What should I do? Should I try and get the miraculous back?”
“No, that won’t be necessary yet. For now, they are not a substantial threat - especially in comparison to Hawkmoth. If they continue to assist you, there is no harm in allowing them to continue. Perhaps you should speak to them though.”
“I tried to once, but they ran away.”
“There’s no reason not to try again,” Wayzz comments, “It is good that you have assistance now.”
“Yeah, I want to know why you decided to send out my kid alone,” Plagg glares at the two.
“Ah, yes, that. I apologize,” Fu frowns, “I did not want to send out both of Hawkmoth’s desired miraculouses-” “So why not a Bug?”
“I incorrectly assumed that once Hawkmoth saw that the damage to the city was permanent, he would stop, or perhaps calm down enough to be reasoned with.”
“Yeah, ‘cause when I think of Hawkmoth, I think ‘reasonable’,” Plagg drawls.
---
“Nooroo?” Gabriel summons his Kwami from its hiding place, “I have some questions regarding the peacock miraculous.”
“Yes, Master?” it doesn't meet his eyes, bowing as it is supposed to.
Gabriel enlarges the image on his screen. It’s a zoomed in portion of who is supposedly a new hero. ‘Sparrow’. It looks as though they have the peacock miraculous, but that doesn’t make any sense.
He has the peacock miraculous.
“Is this the peacock miraculous?”
“It certainly looks like it, Master.”
“Explain to me how someone else has it, when I have been under the impression that it was safely locked away?” he snaps.
“Perhaps there was robbery, Master. Someone could have taken it from you. I do not know how that person got it,” it answers meekly.
“Hmm,” the man accepts this answer, “We’ll have to draw them out. I assume it is still broken, so if I can wear them out…”
He trails off, a plan forming. If he increased the amount of akuma attacks, and targeted this ‘Sparrow’ specifically, it wouldn’t be long before the side effects started getting to them. With them in a weakened state, he’d be able to retrieve it easier.
Perhaps Chat Noir would become distracted if his fellow hero began being sick, which would be even better.
Whoever this is must think they have the upper hand, having stolen a magical artifact from under his nose.
How very wrong they are.
---
The hooded girl quickly ducks behind a chimney, head spinning. Definitely an akuma. She’s confused, there’s usually 2-3, maybe 4 attacks a week, but now there’s another. The last one was only 2 hours ago. What’s going on?
“Chat Noir! Sparrow! Give me your miraculous!” the akuma calls.
She frowns, murmuring to herself, “Sparrow? Who’s that?”
“You’re Sparrow,” a voice says from beside her, “Did you not know?”
She startles, which doesn’t really help her lightheadedness. Chat Noir is sitting on the roof, looking at her carefully, his face guarded.
When she recovers from her surprise, she hesitates slightly before speaking, “I-I am?”
“Yeah, Alya Césaire got a picture of you after the last battle.”
Oh. That’s probably why her phone had been blowing up. She had wanted a break after the battle and ignored it.
“Oh dear.”
“I’d like to speak with you.”
The girl can translate that - he has questions and he wants answers. It’s really only fair.
“Uh, yeah. Give me a minute,” she plucks a feather from her fan, concentrating to make it an amok. She holds it out to him slightly, “Uh, can I…?”
He looks confused, so she elaborates, “I uh, was going to make a sentimonster, to distract the akuma, but I wanted to make sure you were okay with it? I didn’t want to make you think I was threatening you...”
“I-”, he clearly hadn’t been expecting this, “Uh, okay.”
“It’s not dangerous or anything” she assures him. It’s only half a lie. It’s not dangerous to anyone but herself, seeing as using it on herself will tire her more.
She can feel the sentimonster beginning to form, but she interrupts it. She has a specific way she wants it to look, so it can’t just go the natural route.
Closing her eyes, she concentrates on the intended form. She doesn’t notice the way her hands close into tight fists, or the way she begins to sway slightly.
Chat frowns. He has expected their meeting to be odd, but this is kind of worrying.
The thing he assumes to be the sentimonster is forming slowly, taking shape in a cloud of dark bubbles eerily similar to akumatizations. It didn’t seem to be making much progress, and Sparrow seemed to be struggling? In pain? He isn’t entirely sure.
The bubbles fade, revealing a perfect copy of himself, and at the same moment Sparrow collapses.
He catches her instinctually, but before he can wonder what he’s supposed to do, her eyes open and she sits up.
“What…?”
“Are you okay?” He may be somewhat suspicious of her, but she’s still a citizen of Paris, which means she’s under his protection. She clearly isn’t entirely well.
“I- uh, yeah. Just tired,” she smiles awkwardly. He’s not convinced, but doesn't say anything, “Okay, what do you want to know?”
He frowns, “Shouldn’t we deal with the akuma first?”
“He can do it,” she gestures to the copy.
Copycat gives a two finger salute and jumps away. It’s a strange feeling.
“...Alright then?”
Chat turns to the girl, trying to think of how to go about questioning her. She sits before him stiffly, and with the social circles he grew up in, he’s well versed in the look of someone who does not want to be here. She’s fidgety, and her smile is too wide.
“So, who are you? What do you want?” He’s direct, not well versed in how to question people.
“I want to help my city. I’m not going to let Hawkmoth come after my city and not do something when I can. At first… I didn’t want to, but she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. At this point, I wouldn’t pass this off to someone else,” she looks off to the side, thinking for a moment before continuing, “I’m not going to tell you who I am. I understand that you’re the real hero here, and I’m not going to try to replace you or steal your miraculous, but you need help, and I can’t not provide that.”
Chat Noir keeps his face emotionless, but can’t help the warmth that fills his body. It’s not often that someone is so willing to help him just to help him. People that help Adrien in shows are paid to do that, and he’s only recently made unconditional friendships.
He doesn’t comment on it, trying his best to seem like someone who knows what he’s doing. Someone in charge - a leader. “When you say ‘she’ wouldn’t take no for an answer, you mean your Kwami, right?”
“Uh, yeah. Duusu.”
“My Kwami recognized the miraculous in the picture,” he adds, seeing her confusion, then he comments “I don’t get how your Kwami could stop you from giving it up.”
“She uh- I don’t know. She just has more backbone than me I guess,” she can tell he finds her answer odd, but it’s honestly the truth.
Of course, there’s also the whole ‘slowly-dying-from-the-damage’ factor. She doesn’t want to pass that on to someone else.
“Where did you find the miraculous?” After they had talked longer, Fu had brought up the possibility that where the peacock came from could be a clue to Hawkmoth. “How did you get it?”
“In my room. It was in a pile of papers I hadn’t touched in a while-” she pauses, something occuring to her, “Actually, I’d last touched them the day the akuma attacks started.”
That strikes him as odd. Sure, his miraculous just showed up in his room that day too, but that was because Fu gave it to him. Fu could not have given her the miraculous, and Hawkmoth certainly wouldn’t have.
“That’s… strange,” he considers his next question for a moment. It’s looking less likely that he’ll get a useful answer, “What about Nooroo?”
“Hawkmoth’s Kwami? Duusu has mentioned him before, but I don’t know where he is. I think they used to be together, but they’ve been separated, o-obviously.”
“And, just to be sure, how have you been using your miraculous to help?” He’s careful not to provide the answer in the question.
“I’ve, uh, been trying to make distractions during the attacks, or other things to maybe make it easier. I’ve been making sentimonsters to repair the damage too. Duusu says it’s because I’m a Bug, and I’m not really using it the way a natural peafowl would. Though she also says that it’s for the best in this situation. No Bug helping you, and all that.”
She avoids mentioning the fact that this extra healing is damaging. It’s only her, so it’s worth it. This is her city, and there’s no way she’s going to let it be ruined.
He nods, accepting her story. Standing, he says, “I’m going to go deal with the akuma now, maybe we’ll talk another time.”
Sure enough, the akuma is soon defeated. As usual, she makes a sentimonster to clean up and heads home, ignoring the bone-deep exhaustion.
---
“Marinette! What were you doing yesterday, you missed my biggest scoop yet!” Alya rushes up to her as soon as Marinette is on school grounds.
Feigning ignorance, Marinette responds, “Really? I just got so caught up in a project. What happened?”
Alya rolls her eyes fondly. “Oh course you did-”
“She got a pic-” Nino is cut off when Alya covers his mouth.
“My story! I got a picture of another hero! My theories were correct!”
“Congrats!” Marinette cheers.
Adrien joins them, fist bumping Nino as usual. “Yeah, congratulations, Alya!”
They make their way up the steps, but Marinette isn’t really paying attention anymore. Everything is spinning, and it’s taking all her concentration to stay upright and walking.
She misses a step, and it all comes crashing down - or rather, she comes crashing down.
“Mari!” Strong arms catch her before she makes contact with the ground, and she blinks a few times to clear her vision, putting her hand to her head.
“Are you alright, girl? That could have been a really bad fall!” Alya checks. Everything comes back into focus, and she sees her three friends standing around her, looking concerned. Adrien is the one holding her, and when he sees her eyes focus on him, he lets go of her carefully.
“Y-yeah. I just tripped.”
“You sure, ‘Nette? You can go t’ the nurse…” Nino assures her.
“No, I’m good.” She smiles awkwardly.
“Okay…” Adrien concedes.
---
Author’s Note: There!
Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any thoughts, theories, constructive criticism, or anything really in my ask box, in replies or through reblogs. I love seeing what you think!
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#miraculous ladybug#a shy 'sparrow'#fanfic#marinette dupain cheng#Miraculous Swap#peacock miraculous#peacock!marinette#chat noir#adrien agreste#Nino lahiffe#alya cesaire#kwami swap#i just found out that I didn't tag the previous chapters with the title#oh dear#duusu#sparrow
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Sometimes I think about the fact that this site legitimately convinced me that follower numbers and post popularity determine your worth as a person all because I had been ignored by people more popular than myself. Which I can only assume stems from the “fan/follow and content creator/blogger” mentality which we can simply summarize by saying, if you are a content creator and I follow you, I am a fan of your work. I am one of the hundreds if not thousands of people who follow you. Suddenly you have a dilemma, if I try to talk to you and if you reply to me; suddenly every single one of your fans wants a reply. It falls back to the classic “if you don’t have enough to share with the class you shouldn’t bring anything at all.” The issue is that simply put you are giving me attention which costs you a bit of social energy and your time; which you might not have for everyone. So you have a couple options if you want to be my friend, you can either talk with me openly and deal with a ton of people becoming upset and believing it’s unfair that you do so because you won’t also give the thousands of others the same time of day simply because you can’t. Or you can talk to me in secret and just HOPE that I don’t go spilling the beans because “hey look at me I hang out with big popular person” would bring in a lot of personal “clout” and popularity for me. There is however a loophole to this whole situation... if I am ALSO a content creator or popular blogger, suddenly it just “makes sense” why you’d give ME the time of day, “after all, who wouldn’t” is likely going through the heads of people who follow both of us.
(This got really long so here’s a Read More to save your dash.)
This... is the exact kind of toxic mentality that almost broke me mentally about a year ago. I say I left this site about a year ago, but in reality it was even before that; you could see me slowly “losing interest” I had begun to stray so far from who I was that I no longer felt like me but rather something that wanted to be “more” something that wanted to be popular not for the fame or the popularity itself but for the freedom that came with it. Because if I was as popular as all the others who I had tried to speak with maybe they’d actually reply, maybe then I could have the friends I so desperately wanted, friends who I’m not just following around all the time pretending I’m worthy of their time, but rather people who value me and WANT to spend time with me; people who like me and actually think I’m a cool guy to spend time with. Therein lies the problem, even if people did want to spend time with me, I wasn’t even sure of what or who I was anymore. I was a blogger, I was a bunch of tropes; I was someone trying to appease everyone, and I didn’t realize that I had friends who genuinely just wanted to know me. The actual, real; honest me. Only thing was, I was so far gone at this point I didn’t know who that person was anymore. For the last roughly 2.5 - 3 years I’ve been slowly recovering from all that, I found who I was; I went through the cultural ceremonies sure, but what I honestly believe was my “coming of age moment” was when I had the realization that the people who mattered to me most didn’t care if I was anyone popular, they were willing to risk the odds of people seeking their attention and despite the risk that people would feel that it was unfair for them to give ME of all people, their oh-so-important attention, they did so; openly and proudly. This is why I have so much genuine respect and love for my friends, because they wake up every day and CHOOSE to spend their days with me.
This is going to sound really cheesy but as much as I owe a LOT to all my friends in general; I really owe so much to 2 people in particular. Those being my good friend Shelby and my amazing girlfriend Ryu.
I apologize for this post already being really long and kinda weirdly worded but, it’s very late; or early or whatever and I have a lot of things to say. As for Shelby she was someone I was VERY intimidated by, she is an amazing artist and someone who I genuinely looked up to (still do). I really wanted to be her friend but I felt like we had too many barriers, she’s really into gore and I’m really squeamish, she’s and artist and I can’t hardly draw for shit, she’s a big time horror fan I’m an absolute coward. So you can see where I thought “we’re not going to be great friends” and BOY was I wrong. I didn’t think she’d give me the time of day, she was someone people knew of, I was someone... well I was someone lol. But she did, she did give me the time of day, and she seemed to appreciate the time we spent together; despite the fact that I was just some random asshole. She even introduced me to Laura who would go on to become a very good friend of mine and like a sister to me and honestly I don’t think I’d be where I am today if Shelby hadn’t decided to be my friend. She helped me gain a sort of self confidence I didn’t have and it was that sort of self confidence that lead me to later meet my girlfriend.
For the sake of keeping to her online handle I’ll refer to her as Ryu, we actually met on tumblr and had been following each other for a long time talking on and off and I always felt way too shy and awkward to talk to her properly because I am very intimidated by new people and it’s very difficult for me to make friends as I believe I’m being a bother. However she never seemed to mind my shyness, she was there to give me a hand up when I was depressed and was often understanding of my really awkward attempts at becoming friends lol. She and I spent a lot of time together most of the time just talking about legitimately random stuff didn’t even matter what, I just enjoyed spending time with her. I don’t want to get too into my personal life on a public tumblr post of all things but it was so refreshing to meet someone who was just human, and understood that people aren’t perfect. She accepted me knowing of my flaws and being okay with the fact that there was a lot I still had to work on, I’ve fucked up a lot before and I appreciate that she’s willing to forgive those mistakes and let me show that I’m growing and making positive changes. We mesh really well together and I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who I can just so unapologetically be myself around. She has helped me to learn to accept and love myself and I do my best every day to see myself the way she sees me. I’m used to wanting to be better for the sake of someone else, but she has taught me that I should also want to be better for my own sake. She is genuinely the kindest person I have met, and to be living with her now feels like some kind of dream. She once told me that all she wanted me to be was myself, and I don’t think I’ve ever had that level of genuine acceptance and love. To hear someone say that I, myself; was good enough for them was something I never thought I would hear.
I love all my friends, and they mean the world to me. However I say I owe these 2 the most because my life would literally not be the same without them. Shelby picked me up when I was at my lowest, she offered me her friendship and a chance to start again and forge a self where I didn’t have to be anything more than me. That eventually lead to me meeting Ryu who not only accepted me as a friend, but fell in love with a fluffy haired cryptid like me. I don’t know where I’d be without her in my life, but I really don’t care to find out because I’m more than happy to have her in my life.
If there’s any wisdom I can pass onto anyone using this hellsite, it is this:
Numbers are meaningless, your worth is not determined by the time or attention that some popular blogger or artist or musician gives you. You don’t NEED to be anything more than you. You should never stop striving to improve yourself, and growing is always a great thing; but you don’t need to be “more” you are enough.
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If These Walls Could Talk
Welcome back.
I’ve wanted to make another post for well over the last week, but unfortunately that desire came while I was working 7 straight days in a row, 12 hours each day. So to say I was a little more than exhausted by the time I got home each day is an understatement. In addition, I’m once again switching to my night shift schedule, so my mind and body are all out of whack. HOWEVER. As I try to go back to sleep this beautiful rainy morning before returning to work tonight, I can’t. Because my mind is alive with everything I haven’t been able to share with anyone this past week, and it needs said.
It’s still a little strange for me to turn to my blog in these moments, and not my journal. As you can imagine, since I was never a very good blogger, I certainly am not a great journalist, either. But it was an outlet - is an outlet, still. Only, with carpal tunnel in my right wrist/hand, it’s become increasingly harder to hash out all the thoughts I want to on paper. Plus, my fingers have always kept better pace with my mind when keys are involved versus a pen; not to mention the legibility this affords me upon later reflection, as sometimes I’ll write so goshdarn fast and messy that even I, myself, can’t decipher what the hell I was trying to say.
So, sleepy and shivering, I welcome you back into the pit of thoughts.
I am going to be addressing some slight depression issues, “broken home”/family issues, self-harm, and anxiety issues in this post. Still not sure how exactly this whole thing works, so I hope this is enough of a warning for anyone sensitive to those.
Without unraveling the entire rat’s nest that is my childhood, let me just say that I’ve never really known a “peaceful” home. Brief summary: my mother was absent a lot due to her own depression, my father has quite a temper, and they both fought like it was their jobs. This is why I came to love Peter Pan - whenever the yelling came pounding through my walls, I curled up underneath my window with my suitcase packed and wished for nothing else than for Peter to come take me away to Neverland. Obviously, this never came to fruition, but it helped some part of my tiny brain cope. If you’ve ever read Peter Pan, you know each child’s Neverland is their own making - I cannot tell you how upset it makes me that every. single. version of Peter Pan never includes Wendy’s pet wolf. All the same, whenever I imagined my own, it was fantastic. Full of wonder and joy and happiness, just like in the story. Only, very unlike the story, I always came home. Here, however, my home was happiness. My parents didn’t fight, my sister didn’t hate me (of course, she didn’t really hate me, but I was the pesky younger sibling that she just couldn’t be bothered with), and no one was ever angry with me. This, I realize, is probably where my anxiety began to stem from - always wanting to please everyone, at any cost. It made for a very self-inflicted traumatic childhood on my end, because I quickly learned to silence a lot of who I was just to satiate what everyone wished of me.
And for a long time, I remained this person. It wasn’t until I was about 10 years old that the depression hit, though we hardly knew that’s what it was at the time. See, I had finally made friends with a group of girls that I could be myself with, and I was happy. But, we were considered weird. Or, at least, they were - they were still more free with themselves than I was, comfortable with making strange noises and doing strange things just because they wanted to. And while I indulged in those moments shared with them, I still kept fairly quiet and reserved when on my own. This led to bullying from my classmates, because of who my friends were. It wasn’t so much aimed at me personally, but at my choice of friends. And these girls meant the world to me - they still do, 2 decades later as our friendship remains as strong as those early days. I couldn’t grasp why someone would make fun of me, tease me, because of something that finally made me happy. There just had to be more that my little preteen brain wasn’t understanding.
There had to be something wrong with me, right?
I promise, this has a point.
My non-diagnosed anxiety (I didn’t even know what anxiety was, back then) only worsened as I began struggling with finding some reason for why these kids were picking on me. None of my friends seemed to care - why did I? Because I was a people-pleaser. It ate away at me to know that someone didn’t like me, regardless of the reason for it. I tried so hard. I let people say what they wanted to about me, I gave people second and third and fourth chances all because I was afraid of what would happen if I stood up for myself. I changed how I acted, how I dressed (a whole other can of worms we will probably never address, haha), how I lived, just to try and fit in with everyone. It was exhausting, and it wore me down quick.
It also didn’t help that by this point, my older sister had hit high school. She was pretty, she was popular, and she was damn good at sports. I’m pretty sure her track record at high school is still intact, and she graduated 16 years ago. This only served to create my inferiority complex.
Why couldn’t I be as great as my sister?
Going back to the family issues - my dad was my everything growing up. He did so much for our family, made sacrifices I never knew how to appreciate until I got older. All I ever wanted was to make him proud of me, to prove to him that everything he did for us wasn’t in vain. I could see that pride in his eyes when he watched my sister excel at sports. Field hockey, basketball, track and field. She had his love in a way I coveted. I played those sports too, while in middle school, but never nearly as well. Never well enough to see that shameless pride gleaming back at me from my father’s eyes. And that killed. Because no matter how I tried, I wasn’t her.
I was more like my mother. Interested in arts (though not art itself, I can’t draw to save my damn life), music, theatre. When I finally made it to high school, I was too damn scared of failure, of being compared to her, to really try anything I had once enjoyed. It distanced me from my father. You would think, then, that this would have brought my mother and me closer; it did not. That chasm carved between us by the lack of her involvement as I grew up was too wide to bridge entirely. I grew to feel isolated in my own family, unwanted and certainly unneeded. What did I possibly bring to the table?
When I turned 16, I told my mom I needed to talk to someone. Depression still wasn’t something anyone really talked about. A taboo in society, frowned heavily upon. Full of labels and judgments I wasn’t able to bear just yet. My mom understood, even if my dad didn’t. He never used to believe in depression. He was one that agreed it was all attention-seeking, an excuse. And here I was, drowning hard and fast in it, afraid to confide in him lest he think less of me as well. So I got good at hiding it. So damn good. Because how do you tell the man you idolize that you’ve started cutting when he’s made the statement of, “if you’re going to start it, you should just finish the job”?
It wasn’t until I was much older that I was able to tell my father much of any of what I suffered through back then. Now, he tries to understand. But he’s getting older, and more ornery, and sometimes that patience wears so thin it could snap in a light breeze. More so now, because I finally stand up for myself. And while he encourages that, he certainly never anticipated I would have to do it against him.
There’s still so much screaming inside these walls. Some of it is mine, now. I hate it just as much, hate how involved with it I’ve become. But I simply cannot shoulder the weight of the world anymore.
Atlas, I am not.
My father and I never used to have such blow-out arguments. I never used to have to scream until my throat burned, my lungs ached, and my chest collapsed. Not with him. Yet I’ll do it a thousand - a million - times over if it means remaining who I’ve become. This version of me may not be perfect, and I’m certainly not happy with her just yet, but it is so much better from who I used to be. Because the girl I once was would have been dead by now. She already very nearly was.
ANYWAY.
This particular fight started over something incredibly stupid - a statement. A belief I have that doesn’t necessarily align with my father’s. I have no political affiliation. He’s a strong Republican. I made the mistake of voicing a belief that apparently leans more liberal, and he just... lost it. Got super nasty with me, made hurtful comments, refused to hear me out. And I know it’s only because he’s getting older, and like his father before him, losing his temper more often because of it. My mom constantly insists I be the bigger person, that I understand the true reasons behind his behavior and brush it off. “You know he doesn’t mean it. You know he’s in pain, how that makes him lash out.”
Yes, I do know. That doesn’t make it okay.
All my life I’ve been the punching bag for this family. The therapist listening to every member complain about each other. All my life, I’ve tried and given everything to fix it. To somehow fit this family into the mould I had imagined for us. All my life, I have sacrificed more and more of me just to make things right.
When is enough, enough?
I called my boyfriend that night, shaking and crying. Trying to understand how a parent can talk to their child that way, wondering when my family became... well, this. He listened oh so patiently, let me just cry in silence until my body was spent. He will never know just how much I loved him in that moment. Because though Peter Pan never came to steal me away, I know exactly where my Neverland is. And it’s in my boyfriend’s arms.
My father still hasn’t apologized for how he spoke to me, let alone what he said. He’s not the type to. I love him with everything I’ve got, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without him, but. I am done. I am done suffering for his - or anyone’s - sake. Sometimes, it has to be about me. As hard as that is for me to do.
If you have made it this far - if you have read any of this at all - know that you are worth so much more than you think. It isn’t always obvious, and it certainly isn’t easy, but there is meaning in your existence. I still have yet to find what mine is, but I know it’s there. Somewhere. Yours is too.
If these walls could talk I’m afraid of what they’d say The shouting they would echo The image they’d portray But I’m not afraid to hear it because I don’t know what was said No, I heard it all the first time It still rattles in my head
So give me all the silence All the quiet that you’ve got Enough to end the crying And drown out my own thoughts
#blog#blogger#family#depression#anxiety#self harm#inferiority complex#father#mother#sister#mom#dad#struggle#self worth#doubt#bullying#rant#support#enough is enough#second chance#third chance#faking it#faking a smile#therapy#talk to someone#growth#atlas#escape#home#friends
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messy kbtbb character analysis
So… Let me just say that this is going to be LONG and MESSY post. I will try my best to make an analysis of all Kbtbb characters. Eisuke’s might be the longest, just because know about him more than any other bidders. This is more geared towards to those people who still have negative misconception about KBTBB. I get it. Their season 1 prologue did not give the best impression of those guys. I want to give you an insight of characters’ past, and why they are the way they were when MC first met them. PLEASE feel free to express your thoughts/ add on the comment section/reblogging! Let me know of what I am missing from character. I want to hear your analysis of characters too.
MORE UNDER
First things first. Let’s jog back to season 1. I know MANY people did not like this game in the beginning because how it hinted on human trafficking. Let me clear this out first; when Eisuke and other bidders created the auction, they made a rule of not selling any human in an auction, unless they are willing to be sold. This is mentioned in Episode 0: The Promise substory.
That’s not all though. Bidders approached mc in almost..inhuman manner. They treated her as a weird creature that they have never seen before. Why do you ask? All bidders have some sort tragic/traumatic past that cannot be easily cured. I have mentioned this briefly in my “short bidder’s complexity summary” post, but every single one of them has a reason why they cannot trust anyone that easily. Let’s look at each character in depth.
Let’s start with Ota and Eisuke, since these two characters were the MOST controversial characters when they were first released ( I apologize in advance if I miss anything for Ota. I have played his route every now and then, but I never actually read all his stories). WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t read any of their stories yet. Also… ALOT OF FAWNING UNDER EISUKE’S
First, Ota Kisaki (The Angelic Artist).
Essential Question: Why does he treat MC like a pet at first?
He was an unique artist ever since when he was little. No one acknowledged his art, except this guy named Doi (I believe), who was an artist. He keeps encouraging Ota to continue with his art, regardless of how others thought his art was so weird. This kind of event makes Ota ABSOLUTELY trust in Doi. He was the only one who supported his art preferences. Why is there reason not to trust him? Until… Doi plagiarized Ota’s work, and claim it as his own. At that time Doi was much of bigger artist than Ota, so Ota didn’t have any power to fight back that it was a lie. This.. made tragic mark on him. He refuses to trust anyone. I mean, it’s arguable right? Doi WAS the only one he trusted (before MC came into his life of course). He then creates this facade of “Angelic Artist”. It was his way of separating between the real him and the expectations from the others. That way, he wouldn’t have to go through the pain he went through again. When he first met MC, he called her ‘Koro’. The name ‘Koro’ was a way for him to put a distance with MC, since he refused to trust anyone after his most trusted companion betrayed him. A lot of people argue that how he treated MC like a pet was inhumane. I understand this also, because trust me… I was one of those people. However, the main purpose for calling her ‘Koro’ wasn’t to treat her like a pet. He was simply..afraid of getting close to another person and being hurt again. Koro starts out as a way to put boundary between MC and Ota. As the season continues, it becomes affectionate nickname for MC.
Eisuke Ichinomiya.
Essential Question: Why is he inhumanly cold?
Oh man, You all know how much I LOVE Eisuke (I mean.. Just look at my shet spam on my blog). I will try my best not to only fawn over him in the duration of this post.
Where do I even begin with Eisuke? I mean, I think his first description was “Cold-hearted billionaire”. He probably went through A LOT during his career. But If you still think he is cold-hearted, please look at all my screenshot spams. At least to Mc, he turns squishy marshmellow. When MC gives him that puppy dog eyes or when she smiles at him with uncontrollable happiness, there is NO way this man can say no to her.
In his Childhood Promise Substory, Eisuke only wanted power to save and protect ones he cared about and himself. He might come off as only selfish person in the beginning, but as story progresses on, you will know that is not true. He has difficult time expressing things in words.
Let’s first look at his family background. “Ichinomiya” isn’t his actual biological name. When he was young, his family went bankrupt. His father disappeared (Eisuke finds him again in season 5), and shortly after his mother’s health got worse and passed away. He got separated from his little sister (who he finds again in his s1 sequel), and Akira Ichinomiya adopts Eisuke, who was good friend of his biological father. Before meeting MC, everyone who approached him, only approached him for his power and money. Up until his S1 epilogue, he used to have a groupies, who were obsessed with Eisuke. When he sees them shet talking about MC, he threatens them he will ban them if they keep on creating a scene in his hotel (and we never see them again after that). Anyways, back to my point. These groupies only loved Eisuke for his money, power, and looks. Did they know a single thing about Eisuke? I doubt it. He only kept them around because he needed someone to numb his loneliness(numbing doesn’t solve any problem. He knew this, but regardless, he needed someone.). But beneath that cold facade, he was an absolutely lonely person. No one really loved him for he was. He was craving for genuine love, but no one gave that to him.. He have gave up on the idea of getting that love..Until Mc came to his life. MC was the only one who was able to see through Eisuke, and realize he is lonely. She never approached him for his power or money, and he realizes that her actions and thoughts toward him are genuine. (Seriously… read his pov if you have not, because they are the VERY reason why I LOVE Eisuke so much.) But he sometimes have wonders about what love is, since he was never used to being loved so genuinely by someone. In his season 3, he has doubts that his adoptive father actually loved him. Everyone around him only saw him as a man ‘capable’ of handling business. However, when he confronts Akira about it, he says that he wanted Eisuke to understand family love. He also claims how he is happy that Eisuke has finally found someone who can love him unconditionally (referring to MC). Then throughout multiple s3 substories (such as his bday story, under his protection, etc ...), you can see how the definition of ‘love’ changed for him. At first, he thought it was unnecessary thing (meaningless to say aloud). However as him and mc gets close in relationship, he notices expressing love for someone you love is important (hint s5). We also see that he is emotionally unstable. Mc is his big emotion supporter. You can see his emotion breaking through BIG TIME when MC gets in life or death danger (refer to my Desperate moment post if you haven’t already).
I want to also bring this to light: Eisuke has so many enemies. I don’t know what stuff he really did, but I can say some are just falsely created by some influential being. If you ever played Eisuke’s s2, do you remember how Shuichi and Hikaru approached Eisuke? Hikaru was assigned to assassinate Eisuke, believing that he was the one who killed his parents. Same goes for Shuichi. He at first believed that Eisuke was behind everything that happened to his family. However, after s2, they somehow realize that that is not the case. Some mastermind was controlling them to get rid of Eisuke. This still reminds mystery. I really hope they cover this in his s6 or s6.5.
A lot of thing that I mentioned for Eisuke, I have already mentioned through my screenshot posts, or other bloggers have said it already. It might sound repetitive, but I cannot enforce enough, how much mc means to Eisuke. She is basically his life, one existence that will drive him insane if MC is in trouble in any way (but then again, Eisuke is so extra sometimes LOL). He will literally do ANYTHING to make happy. Mc isn’t a selfish person, so this won’t EVER happen but, in theory ( I DID SAY IN THEORY, SO DON’T FREAK OUT), if she ever wanted someone to disappear because they have hurted her ever since she was little, Eisuke will not hesitate to make that come true (actually he will do it before she even mentions it). He believes that anyone who makes mc sad should not exist (at least not close to them). I mean… he even says this to his own son LOL. He will not hesitate to keep mc in his penthouse all day if he feels like she is in danger. Only reason why he doesn’t do this much anymore is because he knows how much mc doesn’t like that . This is where yandere eisuke came from because of how he is sometimes abnormally OBSESSED with MC. I mean...installing security cameras all around his hotel JUST for MC’s safety (and to check on her ...for his benefit). This just proves how all sense of his ‘logic’ flies out of window when it comes to MC. He perhaps might not know the ‘normal’ way to express his love, but he tries his best to show MC that he loves her. And mc knows this.
Any ways… I am gonna end my Eisuke post here… if I continue I will end up fawning more over him. SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE. I ENDED UP FAWNING
Baba Mitsunari
Essential Question: Why is he known as ‘playboy’?
There are many theories that this man has depression, which I honestly can see why. He is the nicest bidder in everyone’s route. He usually says hi to MC first when she comes in the penthouse, and cheers her up when she is seriously feeling down. He is quick to lend a hand when any of bidders are in trouble. His man has a tragedy… of not being able to truly love anyone, because he is scared that his ‘thief’ title will hurt the one he loves. He also wants to be loved like Eisuke and Ota, and give love, but he is SCARED. Unlike Eisuke or Ota though, Baba has tendency to deprecating himself. He once genuinely fell in love with this girl named Cynthia. However, he decides to leave her because he was scared that he would hurt her because of his career as a thief.
I have said it once, but I honestly think Baba is underestimated as a character. If I look at him closely enough, he probably is saddest character in KBTBB. Sad i mean…only one who probably realizes that he is sad. Other bidders are too prideful or disinterested in emotional feelings before mc comes in. Baba is probably the only character who is fully aware of what he is feeling even before mc coming into his life. I do not know much about Baba, but I can tell this much from observing him in Eisuke’s route. He only became known as ‘playboy’ because he knew he wasn’t able to stick to one woman without hurting them. Instead, he tries to numb his depression by having a lot of women around him, which obviously doesnt work.
Mamoru Kishi
Essential Question: Why is he so darn lazy?
You might not believe it but he used to be very passionate about his career. He had a investigation partner named Minami. However, one day, for some mysterious reason he died. Mamoru has made several attempts and proposals to solve the mystery of his death, but interpol has rejected his idea every time he proposed it. They all thought it was unnecessary to reveal that case was closed (in his route, we figure out Aida was behind all this). From that point on, he realizes how crooked and ‘good for nothing’ his job is, and he loses all motivation to work hard. I have never played his route so I cannot say much about him. But he is very skilled detective/policeman. He may not seem like it, but the way he gets Eisuke all those confidential information about interloper… i mean, I don’t think normal policeman can do that! In Eisuke’s season 5, Eisuke worries about Mamoru’s job in danger if he went such length to help him. But he assures him that it is fine since he is known as ‘slacker’ and so no one cares about him. He would go full length to uncover the truth once he sets his eyes on something.
Soryu Oh
Essential Question: Why is he allergic to women?
I mean… mainly because of his mafia title. Just like baba, he doesn’t think he deserves ordinary happiness nor could ever get one because of his career. Most times, his job is life or death matter. He has strong sense of what is ethical and what is not. He would hate to put anyone in danger because of him. Beneath that cold exterior, he is probably most normal person amongst the bidder. He is also the one who is (personality wise) close to describing mc. When he meets mc, and sees her devotion to stick something that she set her mind on, he falls for her.
I also think one main reason why he hated women is because how they were ‘used’ to secure his life. In one of Eisuke’s substory, Soryu mentions that he lost his virgin because it was ‘life or death’ matter. Although it is clearly not addressed, there might be some unspoken reason why he used not like women.
FYI... I typed this out on word doc first... it turned out to be 5 pages...
#eisuke ichinomiya#soryu oh#kbtbb#kissed by the baddest bidder#baba mitsunari#ota kisaki#mamoru kishi#hikaru aihara#shuichi hishikura
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First Time In A While
First Time In A While - One Shot #1
September 18, 2017
“Okay so what’s most important is that you keep this around your neck at all times so if by any chance we somehow get separated or you decide to want to go off somewhere they won’t kick you out and all that negative jazz” Gemma explained and you nodded thanking the bulky man guarding the door as he handed you your all access pass and you placed it around your neck. Stepping inside the location where Harry’s first show of his first solo tour was going to take place felt strange and exhilarating. Strange because you’d never met him but exhilarating because you enjoyed concerts and the rush of happiness everyone felt as well as the feeling that everyone was there to see the one person they admired.
You had become good friends with Gemma over a work related trip that you were lucky enough to go on through the company that you worked for. They had given you an opportunity to visit the Maldives to photograph the beautiful islands as well as write about the experiences you had being there for the articles to add onto your blog. While being on that trip you were told you’d be attending with a numerous amount of other bloggers all focusing on different things such as; beauty, lifestyle, food, fashion and so on and you would all spend time together each focusing on your own elements that you were strongest in. Throughout that trip you had become very close with Gemma, also known as Harry’s brother, and you both clicked immediately seeming you had very similar interests, your blogs were somewhat run on the same category and overall you both just had a blast being together and messing around.
“It’s a bit weird getting to be the one who sees the behind the scenes type of stuff” you commented walking beside Gemma as you looked around the high ceilings and noticing all the people bustling around the two of you trying to get things prepared for the show that was going to start in only about an hour or so. “It is, isn’t it? Seeing how many people are actually involved in the production of this is insane to me, and the fact that it’s all for my brother? That makes it all the more strange” she laughed. “Speaking of my brother he should be around here somewhere. My mum texted me that she was lounging in his dressing room with him about twenty minutes ago but i’m not sure if they’re still there” she explained and you nodded, gulping slightly to yourself. “Oh…we’re actually going to meet up with him?” you asked, only noticing how stupid you must’ve sounded. “Of course silly” she chuckled “I do want him to meet someone I consider a best friend at this point, see how wonderful you actually are” she winked towards you which caused you to furrow a brow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean-” before you could finish Gemma quickly interrupted. “There he is!” she hollered towards a general direction where you only assumed it was Harry and his mother from their backsides. They both turned around and the first face that you saw was Anne; a large grin plastered across her face and eyes sparkling as she noticed her daughter. “Gem!” she exclaimed making her way towards her to give her a tight hug. “We were waiting and waiting for you, I was afraid you wouldn’t make it before the show started” she told her and Gemma sighed. “I know mum, I know. It was this one” she gestured to you with a sarcastic eye roll “that had me running late. You know…” she lowered her voice to octave where she pretended you wouldn’t hear her but you did “She wanted to pamper herself up for H, make sure she “looks hot” were her words, not mine” she teased and your eyes went wide. “Gemma! That’s not true!” you squeaked, cheeks gaining a red color as Gemma giggled and nodded her head. “Alright fine fine. I’m only teasing, she didn’t say any of that. There was just a lot of traffic and we got held up.” she explained and Anne nodded before turning to you. “Well it’s lovely to meet you sweetheart. I’m Anne” she introduced herself opening her arms with a smile before giving you a warm hug and allowing you to introduce yourself. “It’s so great to finally see you in person! Gem has spoken to fondly of you and I’ve seen all the lovely photos that you took when you both were on that trip and wow it was just absolutely breathtaking” she complimented and you couldn’t help the grin that escaped your lips. “Well thank you that’s so kind of you to say! I’m glad others appreciate the art of photography just as I do, it’s one of my many passions. I adore it” you told her, cheeks hurting from how much you were already smiling and you hadn’t even met the man that you were secretly dying to meet. Anne was just about to respond when Gemma linked her arm into her mothers and grinned. “How about we go get some snacks and drinks hmm mum? I’m feeling a bit … parched” she said, giving you a wink as her mum nodded. “Yeah of course, does your friend want to come?” she asked looking over at you and Gemma quickly shook her head. “Oh no … nooo” she dragged out. “She uh … she likes looking at the architecture of the place, you know … that photography persona and everything” she rushed, quickly clearing her throat as she pulled her mom with her before Anne could say another word.
Silently you chuckled to yourself knowing that was her plan to try and get you alone with Harry and it had managed to work because when you looked up he was walking towards you. “(Y/N) right? Gem’s friend?” he asked, thick accent dripping as he asked you the question. “Yes indeed” you replied with a smile. “It’s so lovely to meet you thank you for treating me to a night to the show it was really sweet of you” you told him and he grinned. “No worries at all. A friend of Gem’s is a friend of mine” he smiled, gesturing in a direction insinuating if you’d want to take a small walk down the corridors and you nodded, nervously wrapping your arms around yourself as you both walked side by side arms brushing once in a while which caused your skin to tingle. “So what’s brought you out here to California? I wouldn’t assume you’re from here since I hear a bit of an accent” he commented. “Well actually I was born here in the states but once I finished high school I got an internship in London so my family made the sacrifice of actually coming with me. So when I was 18 we all moved to London!” you told him excitedly. “But I’m in California mainly for work. I had an article to write about the lifestyle in LA and was asked to photograph different things and all and Gem was flying down here too and she said she was attending the show and I mentioned that I liked your music and then I’m assuming that’s when she told you and you offered me a ticket and …” you stopped suddenly realizing you were blabbing but the amused look on Harry’s face told you he wasn’t as annoyed as you thought he’d be. “I’m sorry for blabbing I just blab when I get a little nervous, and I’m a bit nervous right now so … yeah” you chuckled quietly. You saw from the corner of your eye a small smile shy at his lips before opening the door to his dressing room and allowing you to walk in first. “First off, don’t be nervous. I’m just a regular lad nothing too interesting about me” he chuckled, sitting down on the plush sofa beside you. “And second, don’t apologize. I thought it was actually kind of cute” he commented causing your cheeks to go a bit pink. You gently swatted his arm already feeling a bit more comfortable before looking down at your lap as your fingers twiddling with each other. “Don’t go around making me blush” you joked and he smirked. “So tell me about yourself…” he asked you and you looked up at him, a little stunned that he’d actually want to talk about you. “Well…what do you want to know?”
-
You were having the absolute time of your life dancing, swaying and singing along to all the songs alongside Gemma and Anne who you’d taken a strong liking too. She had reminded you of your own mother so closely; so warm, so kind and so caring and treating you as if you were a daughter of her own. You had taken photos, videos and laughed all together, Jeff and Glenne popping over momentarily to introduce themselves and then go back to business during the show. It was nearing towards the end of Sign of the Times when Gemma ushered that we slowly make our way to the back again. Walking past a few people, squeals being heard as Anne and Gemma passed you had finally made it towards the back as you three awaited in the dressing room. Moments had went by and the melody of the song had died down and the screams had gotten louder as Harry said his goodbyes and made his way to the back and towards his dressing room thanking the people he saw on his way back.
“Sweetie that was wonderful! I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed something so so beautiful, you did great my love” Anne praised, hugging him tightly and pressing a few kisses to his cheeks. Gemma saying her congrats with a quick tease, because let’s face it the two of them could never endure one conversation without teasing each other.
“That was so great, I am so so glad I got to experience that” he smiled towards you, giving you a quick hug and a thank you for the praise before taking off his suit jacket and unbuttoning his shirt and you couldn’t help the blush that crept up onto your cheeks. “Sorry sorry” he apologized. “Too much?” he asked, beginning to button it up again and you raised your hands quickly and shook your head. “No no you’re completely fine!” you reassured. “Listen, I’ll leave you to it to unwind and everything. I had such a wonderful time tonight Harry. I know we’ve just met but you are something truly remarkable those people out there really do love you and I feel so honored that I got to partake in that experience. Thank you for inviting me tonight!” you praised pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and squeezing his forearm before quickly stepping out the room and quietly shutting the door.
Making your way down the corridor to the back exit you quickly heard a door open and slam shut quickly along with quick paced footsteps before you heard your name being called. “Wait!”
You turned around to see Harry, already changed into a pair of sweats and a black t shirt and socks. Waiting for him to say something you raised a brow and his cheeks flushed. “Uhm I know it may be forward but uh I was uhm…” clearing his throat nervously he brushed his nose with his fingers “…if it’d be possible that I get your number maybe? You know so we can text or talk or something? I’d really love to take you out for breakfast or lunch or even dinner. I know a few wonderful places out in California that I’d love to treat you too and i’m sorry for rambling it’s just-”
“Yes”
Yes?” he repeated, eyes twinkling as you giggled and nodded taking a hold of his phone into yours typing your name in and handing it back to him. “By the way, don’t apologize for the rambling…I think it’s kind of cute” you winked, squeezing his arm before turning around and heading towards the exit.
Tucking the phone into his pocket he couldn’t ignore the swarm of butterflies that erupted in his belly as he saw you make your way out and he just knew this wasn’t going to be the last he’d see of you.
September 22, 2017
It had been a few days since you’d last seen Harry. He had invited you that night to attend the next show that was in Los Angeles but you hadn’t been able to attend due to the article and blog post you had a deadline of meeting but promising that you’d love to see him again before he had to jet off to Nashville for his next show. You had both planned to go out to a nice dinner out in Malibu, Harry claiming he knew the best spots, to enjoy the evening and each others company and hopefully get to know each other better.
Securing your jewelry in place you checked yourself in the mirror one last time before grabbing your phone and seeing a text from Harry that he’d be at your hotel in just a few minutes. Grabbing all your things you locked the door behind you before stepping into the elevator and heading outside awaiting a black SUV to pull up and have Harry waiting inside for you.
-
“Cafe Habana, hmm?” you smirked, following him and thanking him as he pulled your chair out for you as you sat down adjusting yourself to your level of comfort. “One of my all time favorites. I just love how serene it is here and I’ve been known to basically get this table” he smirked. “Whenever I reserve a spot here they automatically ask if I want this table because I just love the location of it and the plants against the wall give it such a cozy and relaxing vibe, I don’t know I love it” he gushed, thanking the waiter as he poured you both a glass of water and handed you both menus. Looking over the menu Harry had chosen his regular meal and you had went with the infamous Fish Tacos Malibu Style.
“Mmm those look delicious” he hummed, eyeing your food as you eagerly took a first bite and apologized but you were extremely hungry. “Don’t apologize, I’m glad you like it” he chuckled taking a sip of his water and silently admiring how beautiful he thought you looked for a moment. “Want a bite?” you offered, lifting up the half eaten taco and his eyes lit up a bit and he nodded licking his lips quickly and opening his mouth as you fed him a bite. Closing his eyes momentarily he hummed in ecstasy as how delicious it tasted and how the flavors just melted in his mouth. “I know what I’m getting next time” he grinned, thanking you for sharing.
“So tell me, how exactly did you meet my sister?”
Well, at first I didn’t know that we’d be placed into the same group for the trip the was arranged but when I arrived at the island they set us up in groups and Gemma ended up being in mine and us two along with these three other wonderful ladies got to share a hotel suite together for two weeks and we just really got along so we decided to all exchange numbers. I still keep in contact with all of them but Gem and I really clicked. She was the kind of person I felt like I knew all my life, ya know?”
He nodded, swallowing his food before looking over at you. “I totally get that. I kind of felt that way with you surprisingly” he chuckled and you looked up curiously. “Really? How so?”
“Well you kind of just had this energy that was around you, very upbeat and positive and you looked so in awe of everything that was around you and when you were talking to my mum it just looked so natural and it seemed like you Gem and my mum had known each other for years! Then we got to talking a bit and I don’t know I just felt super comfortable with you, automatically felt this gravitational pull to want to know everything about you and a strange feeling that I could trust you with anything. It’s just different to me because typically I’m a little reserved when I first meet people, ya know? I don’t want them knowing everything about me right away, but with you for some reason I don’t mind sharing things I wouldn’t typically share.”
You weren’t sure if there was an event going on or if there was just a large reservation coming in but in the midst of dinner a large sum of tables were being cleared out as a live band began to settle down and play some music for people to quietly enjoy while they were eating while the fairy lights twinkled above illuminating a soft glow.
“Dance with me.”
You chuckled, shaking your head shyly as you thought he was joking but he’d already gotten up, wiped his mouth clean with the napkin and awaited for you to grab his hand. “Harry, no one else is dancing.” you whispered nervously. “That’s alright. I don’t care about anyone else at the moment. I care about you and I want to dance” he grinned. Looking around at the some of the tables that were filled you bit your lip and stood up taking a hold of his hand and following him out to where the tables were cleared and placing your arms around his neck. “You know” you hummed. “I’ve never been on such a nice first date before” he then raised a brow looking at you suggestively. “A date, huh?” he smirked and your eyes widened thinking for a moment how badly you messed up calling this a date when clearly he had only thought of it as a friendly get together. “I’m teasing i’m teasing” he smirked. “This is probably one of the best first dates I’ve been on as well. I really like spending my time with you” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead in a quick kiss as you closed your eyes and hummed to yourself along with swaying with Harry to the music. Once you opened your eyes you noticed a few other couples had also made their way to the makeshift dance floor and were embracing each other in their arms.
-
The both of you stood in front your hotel door, key card nervously shifting in your hands as you looked up at him shyly. “I had such a good time tonight Harry, thank you. I really needed it” you told him sweetly, feeling his fingers brush yours and lock his fingers with yours. He nodded, not saying a word but eyes telling you pretty much everything. You felt like it was just the two of you, in a small space feeling like you couldn’t breathe because the intensity of the connection between the two of you was almost unbearable. Before you could say another word his left hand un-linked from yours making it’s way up to your face before gently caressing it. Closing your eyes due to the wonderful feeling before you felt his pillow soft lips pressed against your own and it was a feeling you’d never felt before. The butterflies in your belly were going wild, your mind was racing a mile a minute and between all these feelings you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss which then caused Harry to break out into a grin and a breathy chuckle. “That was nice” you whispered, eyes finally opening to see him still very close to your face. “Very nice” he whispered. “So nice that I may just need one more before I leave” he smirked, cupping your face with both hands and leaving another breathless kiss onto your lips. Reluctantly you pulled away with a small breathless gasp and smiled.
“Goodnight Harry” you giggled, biting your lip and unlocking the door with your key card. He smiled, pressing his lips against your hand once more before he let go and sighed happily.
“Goodnight m’love”
-
well there we go, the first installment of the series! i hope you guys enjoyed it and i’d love to hear your feedback! hope you have a wonderful night! xx
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagines#harry styles one shots#harry styles series#harry styles fanfictions#harry#imagine#harry x reader#kisssystyles
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Title: Cheater
Summary: (Y/N) has a very important breakthrough.
Pairing: Hvitserk x Reader.
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Part One,Part Two,Part Three, Part Four
‘Who the hell does he think he is?!’ you complained as you removed your makeup.
‘Your ex.’ Maggie said.
‘Exactly… ex, as in not now. Seriously, my first night out looking for a quick rebound and he pops up.’
‘Well I want to agree and let you rant but I did say a rebound was a bad idea.’ your friend and roommate said.
‘And I want you to listen to me rant, so the whole I told you so thing isn’t helping.’ you grinned over your shoulder.
‘It needed saying nonetheless.’ she grinned back.
‘Anyway why are so offended, most women are flattered when their ex can’t move on.’ Maggie said.
‘Well call me crazy but I don’t like that he thought some half ass apology and explanation would make me go back to dealing with his shit.’ you said as you stood from your seat and turned to look at her.
‘Do you know how shitty it feels to know all your friends talk about you having so low of an opinion of yourself that you stay with a cheating asshole?’ you said as you sat on the bed beside Maggie.
‘I don’t and just to clarify I never talked shit behind your back, I prefer the face to face method.’
‘That’s why I like you, but more than that, Hvitserk looked truly shocked that I didn’t fall into his arms the second I saw him.’ you added.
‘Well he is a boy and their minds aren’t as great as ours, I’m not just going to say you get over him though.’ she advised.
‘So just take him back and let him cheat on me some more?’ you snipped.
‘No, but be honest you love him still. He drives you nuts, but you miss him like hell and you know it.’ Maggie said.
You sighed and laid back on the mattress.
‘Of course I miss the asshole, but loving him more than me isn’t good for either of us. He’ll just get worse and I’d just sit there and let it happen. I’m gonna fall in love with me before I even think about being with him again.’
‘Self love is the best love, that’s what I say.’ Maggie replied as she laid beside you.
‘Right, and it's a new love for me.’
‘Well enjoy it, if I loved me any more than I do now I wouldn’t need Ubbe at all.’` she joked.
‘Ew I don’t need that kind of insight on your self love, nasty.’ you laughed.
A knock on the door came and interrupted your little girl talk and Maggie hurried to get it.
‘Babe!’ she cheered.
You rolled your eyes and put on your slides and grabbed a hoodie, it was time to go. As much as you loved them Ubbe and Maggie were the over sexual couple that made everyone uncomfortable.
Quickly you picked up you bag and phone and scurried through the living room, keeping your head down as you tried to ignore all the little whines Maggie makes.
At last you made it out of the apartment, with minimum trauma.
Well they’d need a few hours and it was two AM, where could you go to wait them out?
The twenty four hour cafe never let you down and a few of those pastries would definitely not hurt either.
Off you went to the cafe, once you were there you bought a danish and a hot chocolate and got a good table by an outlet so you could charge your phone.
Honestly you wanted to go to bed, but you can think of worse things to do at three in the morning.
Like moping and crying over an idiot who mistreated you.
‘Excuse me?’
You look up in shock and see a very handsome guy standing by you with a laptop bag in one hand and a coffee in the other.
‘Do you mind if I sit with you, the other outlets ore shot out.’ he said nervously.
‘Oh sure, go ahead.’ you said moving your bag from the chair across from you and let the guy sit down and take out his computer and charger.
‘Thanks, this is the only cafe with decent wifi for eight blocks and I didn’t want to go that far out this late.’ he chatted.
‘Same, so what are you working on?’ you asked.
‘My thesis, last one.’ he said.
‘Oh congratulations, my best friend just graduated earlier this month, you must be from a different college.’ you commented.
‘I’d guess so, I go to Wessex University.’
‘Oh wow, you would not get along with Ivar at all. He’s from Kattegat and a damn proud Heathen.’ you laughed.
‘Ew, a Heathen.’ the boy dramatically said making you laugh.
‘What’s your name Saxon boy?’ you asked.
‘Alfred and what’s your name Heathen Girl.’
‘Not a Heathen, but my name is (Y/N).’ you replied.
‘So what are doing out so late?’ Alfred asked.
‘Roommate’s boyfriend came over, fill in the blanks.’ you sighed.
‘Yuck.’
‘I know. What about you, bad wifi at home?’ you guessed.
‘Roommate had a sock on the door.’
‘Yuck.’ you repeated.
‘I know.’ he repeated as well.
The two of you kept on talking and chatting and just generally getting along and enjoying each other’s company.
‘You are a mess.’ you laughed.
‘I like to call myself unorganized.’ he grinned.
‘Hey can I get your number, I need to know if you are this funny all day or if this is just sleep deprivation I’m talking to.’ you said.
‘Alright.’ Alfred said as he took your phone and put in his number and called himself.
You both saved each other as contacts and the conversation went on as before, smooth and easy.
It felt like no time had passed at all, that’s why you were so confused to see the sun rising outside.
‘Oh shit, its six AM!’ you gasped.
‘Oh fuck! I should get back to the dorm, I gotta a class at twelve and I need at least four hours to get through the day.’ he said as he gathered his things.
‘Damn I better let you go, and I’m sure my roommate is finish by now.’ you said as you too gathered your things.
‘It was great talking to you, just the kind of convo I needed after two weeks of straight lectures and my roommate checking to see if I’m dead before telling me he has a dude or girl coming over.’ he joked.
‘See you around Heathen.’ Alfred said as you both exited the cafe.
‘I’m not a Heathen, but goodbye Saxon Boy.’ you bid farewell before the two of you parted ways.
As you walked back to Maggie’s apartment you thought back to how you never got to meet new people when you were with Hvitserk.
Sure he was by no means controlling, but with him your world was him and you saw whoever he did, if he didn’t know someone then neither did you. Outside of him and his brothers you didn’t really talk to other men, some part of you hoped Hvitserk would see your loyalty and do the same.
Didn’t work.
Now you did not have to sit home and wait for him to come back from whoever he was with, you could go out and make friends again.
Once you were back hope you grossed out to see A very much naked and passed out couple on the couch.
You sighed and put the throw blanket over them and made a note not to sit there until it was steam cleaned.
Thankfully you had gotten a call yesterday saying you had been approved for an apartment closer to your job.
You went back to your room and laid down ready to crash when you phone chimed, letting you know that you had text.
Expecting it to be Alfred you looked, but it was someone else.
Hvitserk: Please don’t ignore this.
You wanted to just put down your phone and ignore it like you had all his text, but to be honest you had stopped being angry.
Being mad all the time is exhausting and you really didn’t realize that until after you had hand made a Hvitserk Pinata and beat the holy hell out it.
Your arms were sore, the rooms were a mess and even when it was broken you were so mad you went to your knees and hand ripped all the pieces to shreds.
That was how unleashed all your rage, now you had no reason to ignore his texts.
(Y/N): What is it? Is something wrong?
Hvitserk: No, I just want to talk, really talk not like tonight with all the noise. You and me sitting down
You read that text over a few times before you replied.
Y/N: What is there to talk about?
Hvitserk: I owe you an apology and an explanation. A real one, not just me begging you to take me back as I am.
Hvitserk: Not that I don’t still want you to take me back if that’s on the table, lol
You hated how that stupid man could make you laugh.
Y/N: when do you want to talk and where, maybe I’ll show up.
Hvitserk: Tonight at nine, our special place.
That took you by surprise, you hadn’t been there in forever, you were surprised he even remembered.
Y/N: Alright, if I’m not busy.
You hesitated for a few seconds before you closed your eyes and hit send.
With that said you put down the phone and turned it off before rolling over and making yourself go to bed.
After you woke up a around two you got to work packing your things and during your breaks you would look for a good moving company to take your things from storage.
Honestly you were being productive AF, and while you were proud of yourself you knew you were just trying to procrastinate.
You didn’t want to think about your meeting with Hvitserk, you still weren’t sure you were even going to show.
“GO BESTFRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” your phone blasted Ivar’s ringtone.
You picked it up and put it on speaker while you went back to marking boxes.
‘What the hell are doing you idiot?’ Ivar said.
‘Hello to you too Ivar.’ you laughed.
‘Don’t get cute, my idiot brother is a nervous wreck right now and you can’t tell me you have nothing to do with it.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, all I have done is agree to see him tonight.’ you said.
‘So it was you, I swear to the Gods (Y/N), this idiot is one call away from me killing him.’ Ivar said.
‘Good, don’t tell me you don’t think he deserves to sweat for while.’
‘He does obviously, but why does he have to get on my nerves while he’s in it. If he calls my phone one more time I swear I’m going to track his phone and hit his ass with my car.’ he ranted.
‘It would be a shame to go to jail right after your graduation, plus with the move I don’t think I will have enough money to put on your books.’ you teased.
‘You suck, I hope you can’t find anything to wear tonight.’ Ivar bit.
‘Who says I’ll go?’
‘You will, you’re too curious not to.’ Ivar said before the line went dead.
‘Asshole.’ you smiled.
You looked at the time and saw that it it was six, you’d need to leave soon, and you did need to start getting ready.
Ivar was right, as much as you hated to admit it, you wanted to hear Hvitserk out and did want to look immaculate.
So you showered and put on a outfit, for yourself, not him. You wore jeans, heels and a crop top, make up done and accessories added.
You were ready to go, but before you got to the door you stopped.
Why not make him wait for once?
You sat back on the armchair and cut on the TV, you weren’t going to leave at nine.
It was easier said than done you found out, you felt really bad and caved, leaving at eight forty five.
By the time that you do reach your location it was nine fifty.
You got out of your car and looked at you and Hvitserk’s special place.
His father’s first house, it was a small house in a middle class neighborhood; Ragnar had lived here before he had started off his company. This was where he stayed with his first wife Lagertha before he met Aslaug on a business trip.
After his divorce and his company had truly taken off he moved out and into a new larger home with Hvitserk’s mother, but he never sold his first home.
This is where Hvitserk took you for your first date, where you and he had sex for the first time. This was where you two came to be alone before you had moved in together.
It was the place where you pretended you truly were the only woman in Hvitserk life.
Hvitserk's car was in the driveway so clearly he was here waiting for you.
A small part of you was surprised by that as you walked up to the door and rang the bell.
Immediately it was thrown open, you were surprised it wasn't yanked of the hinges.
There he was, Hvitserk, the man who broke your heart and destroyed your world.
He was dressed in a dress shirt, business pants and shoes.
It was your favorite outfit on him and he knew it.
'Hi.’ Hvitserk said nervously as he looked at you and your attire.
You knew he liked you better in dresses and skirt, easy access and quickly removed. You hoped your clothes would convey your secret message that you were not here to have make up sex.
'Hey.’ you said back.
'I didn't think you would show.’ he said as he stepped aside and let you in.
'I thought about it, but I do think you owe me an explanation. I deserve that at least.’
'You do, and you deserved more than what I gave you.’ he said sincerely.
'Come on, I cooked if you're hungry.’ Hvitserk offered, leading you to the kitchen.
'You cooked, by yourself?’ you asked in shock.
'Well it's just pasta and garlic bread, nothing gourmet, but I did my best.’ he blushed.
If you judged by how much he ate you would think he cooked all the time, but you would be wrong. You had to drag him away from whatever he was doing to make him help you cook otherwise he’d live on junk food and takeout.
So the fact that he had actually cooked alone spoke volumes.
You went to sit at the table and Hvitserk pulled out your chair like he always did when you two were out before he sat down the plates.
He went to the kitchen for a second and returned with two plates of and sat one down across from you.
You thanked him for the food and began eating, it was pretty good and you let him know as much, this seemed to make him sigh in relief.
‘I’m happy you like it, but I’m even happier that you came (Y/N). I know that you didn’t have to and I didn’t deserve it.’ he said.
‘You didn’t, but I do, so please tell me the truth. Why did you cheat and why did you never stop.’ you asked sitting down your fork.
‘I...at first we weren’t serious or exclusive and I thought there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I thought you had felt the same way, we were just...going on dates. Then it was more and you wanted to be official.’
‘I begged you to be exclusive, because I already knew what was going on then.’ you corrected.
‘And I said we were, and at first I tried, but then I went out and met someone I don’t even remember the name of. It felt horrible seeing you after that, but then nothing changed and I thought I had gotten away with it. You didn’t say anything, so I just…’
‘Kept on doing it, because I didn’t say anything?’
‘Because I thought I could, I never thought you would find out or that you would leave. I thought...no I knew you loved me more than anything, and I took advantage of that.’ Hvitserk confessed.
‘You did, and I knew...and I hurt.’ you said as tears came to your eyes.
‘I always knew and I always acted like I never saw it because I did love you. I don’t know why but when my friend sent me that picture of you with that secretary...I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was tired and angry and just fed up with you and your shit.’ you finished.
'I didn't know that you knew, and I know that's no excuse, but I do wish you would have spoken up before.’
'I tried once, when I asked to be exclusive, and you looked me in the eye and lied. You said I was the only one for you whenever I asked.’
'You are, the other women really meant nothing to me. They would get angry when I'd leave or they get impatient with me not spending time with them, but I didn't care. They came and went and it never had any affect on me, then you left and everything went wrong.’ he explained.
‘I couldn’t stand waking up without you, being in that apartment and not hearing you moving around, even the shows we watched together weren’t as good without your commentary to make me laugh.’ he finished.
‘Just because you cared about me more than the others doesn’t make it better. There should have been no other women, maybe before I asked to be exclusive you had an excuse...but after that?’
‘I know that, I should have been faithful to you and respected you enough to tell you what was happening. What I did was hurtful, disrespectful, dishonest, stupid, and arrogant. If by some miracle you took I would spend every second trying earn your trust and showing you how sorry I am.’ Hvitserk promised.
‘Oh Hvitserk...I have waited two years to hear you say those words, then I spent a year realizing I’d never hear them.’ you said.
‘And this year?’
‘I think at this point I just don’t care. Even if you were telling the truth I don’t trust you. I don’t want to go back always wondering what you are doing and never feeling like I’m enough.’ you answered.
‘Please (Y/N), don’t let this be the end of us.’ he pleaded, standing up and walking around the table and taking your hand before he kneeled in front of you.
‘We did have good times when we were together but honestly the bad outweighed the good tenfold.’ you said sadly as you pulled your hand away.
Hvitserk looked devastated and despite you feeling in your heart you were making the right decision it broke your heart to see him like this.
With a heavy heart you stood from your seat and Hvitserk stood as well.
‘A lot of what went wrong with us was your fault, but not all the blame was on you. I didn’t communicate that your actions were hurting me and I let it carry on. You were the love of my life but you are bad for me, I’m sorry Hvitserk.’ you apologized before walking away.
‘I will keep trying to show you that I’ve changed, I will make you see that I can be trusted not to hurt you like I did before.’
You stopped by the door with your hand on the door knob.
‘That’s another thing, I don’t want you to do anything for me. You need to do it for you Hvitserk. This can’t be the type of man you wanted to be, this is how Ragnar destroyed both of his marriages.’
‘He’s still married.’ he tried.
‘Does your mother love him?’ you challenged as you turned to face him.
When he didn’t answer you continued.
‘Does he love her? Is their relationship what you want for the two of us? Because if it is then it’s good thing we ended things before I started to hate you.’ you finished before you left.
Closing the door behind yourself felt almost like some deep metaphor, your time with Hvitserk had come to an end and you knew it. There was no going back to what it was because what it was wasn’t good for you.
Even if you had taken him back and he had actually stayed faithful this time you would probably still be looking over your shoulder. The paranoia would drive you nuts, there would be no point in the relationship if there was no trust.
Your head was much clearer after your talk with Hvitserk which was really all that you wanted to get out of this.
Once you had got into your car your phone chimed with a message, you pulled it out of your pocket and saw that Alfred had texted you.
Alfred: Another sock on the door wanna meet at the cafe again, I’ll buy the pastries.
For a second you looked up at the house where you left Hvitserk, but then you replied.
(Y/N): I’m there.
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