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percontaion-points · 2 years ago

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Client No 5 chapters 13 & 14

This book review contains discussions of sw; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 13

New York was a wonderful place to be in when you were in love. I wondered if Scott and I would fall in love, if we would even make it that long. I tried not to get my hopes up.

The worst part about this relationship is that Ally is already quitting it before it even began. No matter how much that she might change over the course of the next ~100 pages, I can’t take her relationship with Scott seriously because of this.

“I’m trying to warn my roommate that I’m about to come in. She often does things in the living room that should be kept private, if you get what I mean.” That was only part of the reason. A sinking sensation had settled in my stomach, and I was trying to buy myself some time to think of a way to get Scott away from there.

His eyes went wide. “And you’re okay with that?”

I shrugged. I usually just ignored her, but I had a feeling that it would be too confronting for Scott.

Once again, this relationship is doomed from the get-go. Ally tried to tell Scott that she wasn’t girlfriend material. That she lived in a world that revolved around her fucking other men. He said that he didn’t care, and pushed her to accept anyway.

I kind of want the second half of the book to be nothing but their relationship falling apart and Ally moving on with her life.

“But you guys don��t still…you don’t still fuck now, right?”

“He wishes!” I said, laughing, then realized he probably wouldn’t find that funny.

He’s literally dating an escort; he’d better get used to it if he wants this relationship to last longer than this hour.

“And if you were to count up all the clients, what would your number be then?”

[...]

“I’m fine. I’d like you to answer my questions, please.”

“Does it matter?” I asked.

“No. I’m not going to judge you. I know it’s going to be a high number. I’m just curious.”

He said that her being an escort wouldn’t bother him. Not even an hour later, every single aspect of her career is bothering him.

“How would you feel about coming to Miami to visit me?”

“I’m sure we could arrange it. I’d have to let Todd know some dates so he can schedule around them.”

Scott frowned, but didn’t say anything. I wondered how hard it was for him to pretend like my job didn’t bother him.

He seems upset that she can’t simply drop everything and go to Florida. But it would be the same with literally any other job.

I opened my mouth to share something I’d never told anyone—how I had been irrevocably broken.

Chapter 13 summary: Ally literally never takes guys to her home, but she decides that Scott isn’t a client, he’s her boyfriend now. They go to her apartment, only to find Jamie and Adam going at it on the sofa. Scott seems put off by that.

In her room, Ally explains about her relationship, past and present, with Todd. Again, Scott is really put off by it. He asks her how many people that she’s slept with, and she only says 4. That clients don’t count. He wants to know how many clients that she’s serviced, and is again, really upset by the entire thing. HE’S DATING AN ESCORT; HE DOESN’T GET TO BE WEIRDED OUT BY HER HAVING FUCKED 2000+ MEN!

Since Ally had said that she’d literally never fucked a single person on her bed before, Scott suggests that they should break it in. Things start to get hot and heavy, but then Ally starts to have second thoughts about the entire relationship thing. She tells him that this isn’t going to work out, and says that she doesn’t deserve any of this. Scott isn’t buying the idea that she doesn’t deserve love, and asks her what happened to make her like this.

Chapter 14

Scott pulled me into his embrace again and hugged me close. “How do I put you back together?”

Look, I’m all for a good HEA. But a girl who has 2 different boys cheat on her, and then she decides to give up on love and become an escort… needs something a little bit more than the love of a steadfast man.

Scott pulled me into his embrace again and hugged me close. “How do I put you back together?”

Chapter 14 summary: We get a flashback to when Ally was in college. She was in a 2 year relationship with a guy, Nick, and thought “tonight’s the night! He’s going to propose!” Only when she got home a bit early from class, she literally caught Nick balls-deep in some hussy.

She ran through the rain to Zach’s apartment, but he was in class. Todd was there, and he comforted the crying Ally. First with alcohol, and then with his body. After they’d finished, he told her that it was so good, she should go pro.

Back in the present, Scott tries to tell her without outright saying that what she’s doing isn’t healthy. However, rather than to recommend actual therapy, he recommends his penis.

#Client No. 5 #chapter 13 #chapter 14 #Ally (Client No 5)#unhealthy relationship #Scott Walker #Jamie (Client No 5)#Adam (Client No 5)#Todd (Client No 5)

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billiejeanenthusiast · 4 years ago

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Boobiegate masterpost

We know what they did this summer - and oh boy, was a it a wild summer that - unfortunately for us - stretched into autumn and beyond any reason.

I will first go over everything as it happened and then - because when you look back at everything you realise some timelines overlap - I’ll try to clarify some stuff and put it into perspective.

NOTE: I’m writing the dates from a GMT time zone point of view (aka. UK time)

So let’s start from the beginning.

Briana breaks up with Brody Jenner after dating him for some random attention seeking period. (June-September roughly)

Here’s an article talking about that irrelevant relationship. https://www.yourtango.com/2020334835/who-brody-jenner-girlfriend-briana-jungwirth-louis-tomlinson-baby-mama Now let’s fast forward a bit to September.

September 23rd

So on September 23rd we’re flooded with articles about Brody and Bri breaking up and Bri getting back together with her “on-again off-again (boy)friend Nick” and the biggest surprise “BRI IS ENGAGED”

So the story is:

Bri ended her relationship with Brody because “they were moving too fast” and he had “already met Freddie”

She then gets back together with her on-again, off-again bf Nick Gordon

She, her family, and Nick go on a “whirlwind” trip to Las Vegas (MIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC)

Bri and Nick get engaged during those Covid inviting few days in Vegas (September 21st- September 23rd)

Articles drop about how they’re engaged and she’s broken up with Brody (Sept 23rd)

Bri, family and Nick all share a huge amount of Vegas pictures of them in love, Bri’s ring, Bri and Nick being a couple (pictures obviously taken before Vegas to hopefully make someone believe that this in no way is a whirlwind engagement after just knowing each other a few weeks. Did they convince anyone? Well if you are convinced - I’m worried for you)

Here’s the tmz article:https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/23/brody-jenner-split-briana-jungwirth-engaged/ Here’s some pics of them we were all subjected to while they were in Vegas. And Nick’s new public profile when it just got made. Was he trying to start an influencer career and say goodbye to being a firefighter? Was he trying to get a night job taking off that all firefighter gear for money? Magic mike was a big movie after all….Who knows.

September 28th

At first the engagement pictures on Nick’s IG were just him and Briana and he used the #/shesaidyes. After a few days and probably after they realised it would be a smart move to acknowledge her kid she claims to have too (👀) he deleted those and on September 28th posted new pictures with a new caption and new # of course. This time “theysaidyes”.

The pictures are below.

But, moving on.

As soon as the engagement news drops, we have Nick - our “good-guy firefighter” making a new and public IG account, flooding it with pictures where he professes his love for Bri and soaking up the d-list association fame.

So in the coming weeks we get a lot of Nick, Bri and their families on IG. They post a lot about being constantly together.

What was the most interesting they really pushed the “dad” image on Nick. He was constantly posting about Freddie and even in Bs or Tammi’s stories he was always seen interacting with F the most.

Then after it seemed like the new fiancees had settle into their soon-to-be married life and everything seemed rosy for them - we get hit with the whammy BOOBIEGATE.

Because hell hath no fury like a sugar daddy scorned.

October 15th

On the 15th of October celebtm a gossip site, posts the next picture and caption on IG:

Basically, they’re saying a guy - his name unknown yet - contacted them to tell them how Briana scammed him out of money she borrowed to get a boob job. Specifically 5k USD. He claims he filed the case in court and it’s dated January.

They ask if anyone else has similar receipts or anything about her and that they’re investigating and will be writing a story. And the comments have a lot to say about Bri.

October 19th

4 days later on October 19th celebtm posts another IG update about how they have the court filing and how their article is in progress.

October 21st

2 days after the last IG post celebtm finally posts their article - on the 21st of October

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-briana-jungwirth-sued-over-boob-job/

(It’s on the web still - if it ever gets deleted let me know I have screen recordings of it)

The article is accompanied by this (below) IG post:

Also on this day we get Briana and Nick deactivating their IG profiles. Nick still kept his personal private IG and the only person who stayed public is Tammi.

October 22nd

A day after the article dropped there’s another IG post with the following picture and caption. Apparently, Sugar Daddy shared his receipts - specifically AmEx - with celebtm.

October 26th

On October 26th celebtm posts the second part of the article. It’s messier, with a more confusing timeline than the first, but tries to “spill” more details on Sugar Daddies relationship with Briana and her life in general.

Also by now we know his name - Michael Strauss. An investor in Warwick club in LA.

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-baby-mama-briana-jungwirth-double-life/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

October 27th

Then a day later we get another IG post - no new article - just more excerpts from what the Sugar Daddy told celebtm.

Then it’s quiet for a few days and when you think this can’t get even more trashy - low and behold the circus that is called October 29th.

October 29th

So after a few days of silence celebtm strikes again, but this time they bring in TV’s most loved judge - Judge Judy. Apparently the TV show was willing to take this litigation and air it as an episode.

As always, they post an IG post and a caption, and the article mentioned in the IG caption below is basically an article written for clicks about Louis and Harry because they saw the larrie part of the fandom was getting them clicks. I’ll leave the link to the article here for documentation purposes, but honestly there’s nothing in there worth giving them clicks for. Not a thing. The title of the article is “A Complete Guide to 1D Members Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles’ Rumoured Relationship”

Article: https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-harry-styles-relationship/

November 6th

We see the sudden return from social media exile of Bri to IG. She’s back - with a post and the description ironically saying “I’m back”. I refuse to post it because does anyone really want to look at her face-tuned selfies?

November 9th

Then after weeks of radio silence, the return of Bri to IG, we get what is apparently the - very underwhelming - like Bri’s boobs to Sugar Daddy who never got to see them - conclusion to this Sugar Daddy drama. This following article which is basically a letter from Michael to Briana telling her how he’s giving up on the lawsuit, taking this as a life lesson and how he hopes no one else falls for her scams. Article below:

https://celebmagazine.com/michael-straus-briana-jungwirth-open-letter-to-one-direction-louis-tomlinson-alleged-baby-mama/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

And of course - the article is accompanied by an IG post by celebtm.

So, here we currently are. After watching that circus show no one wanted not paid for (well except the Sugar Daddy, and he didn’t even get to see the thing he paid for - so sad.) we’re in November and the Jungwirths and company are back to their carefree posting on IG.

Current status:

The lawsuit seems to have been dropped.

Everything seems to be in process of being swept under the rug.

Nick - the loving fiancee - is back to IG too. All of his happy, loving pictures with Bri still up (some deleted) - so we must assume their love survived Boobiegate.

As for overlapping timelines:

The timelines overlap mostly during the months March-October with it being said Bri dated Brody, but was also taking money from Boobie Daddy who was helping her during the pandemic, and was later also apparently starting a serious relationship with Nick.

What actually went on - I don’t know. And I’m honestly not interested to find out. This is being mentioned just so anyone coming across this post knows that yes - you didn’t read it wrong - the timelines do overlap with different people saying different things and Bri being tied to all three men at those times without any real clear timeline for the relationships.

So far this is all there is to this mess. If there’s more - I’ll do a part two or addition.

I’d like to end this with saying - these masterposts are 95% just me making them for myself because I forget stuff, and so much goes on in the fandom that if I want to keep up with it all, I need a nice timeline for things. I’m posting this for anyone wanting to make sense of this circus too or just to put it into a timeline. I did fact check all the dates, posts, IG pics, links and so on - but mistakes can happen - if there is one feel free to let me know.

#boobiegate #bri #masterpost

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ibijau · 3 years ago

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fave 10 characters from any media and why u like them?

10. Ori from The Hobbit. He's a fun lil guy and he was my main blorbo in that fandom and I just liked him a lot for his pointless bravery and how very adorable he was

9. Tiffany Aching from the Discworld. Many reasons, but mostly it's a specific part of the first book that has stuck with me through the years. I don't have the exact quote, but something about her opponent calling her selfish like it's the worst thing she could be, and a part of her just owning it like. Yes, she's selfish. And she's still going to protect the people around her, because those are her people. And it just... I just love that moment.

8. Polgara from The Belgariad (and associated books). Role model lady!! But more seriously, I loved how complex she was, and how she was allowed to be clever and powerful and kind, but also bitchy and petty, and it wasn't... the narrative didn't judge or punish her for it? I don't enjoy David and Leigh Eddings books as much as I did as a teenager, but damn, the characters in it were really cool and Polgara most of all

7. Rapunzel from Tangled. To make it short, I got the dvd the year I went no-contact with my mom, and I watched it dozens of time, and it was very therapeutic.

6.Katniss Everdeen, but specifically from the book as I wasn't too impressed with the films. She's just a fascinating character, with so much rage and anger (all justified!!) and it's really cool to see her grow to understand that her world is even more fucked up than she thought, and trying to figure out how to deal with it when everyone is trying to manipulate her one way or another.

5. Lan Xichen. I love his mix of gentle politeness and determination. He is a good man whose kindness is treated as a fault to be taken advantage of by his best friend. Again and again he is confronted with difficult choices (leaving or staying when his sects burns, what to do with lwj when he sides with wwx, what to do with jgy when his guilt is revealed) and he very sincerely tries his best with the information he has. I love him. Fuck but I love him. He is so good. He is so very good, and he tries so damn hard to be fair, and I love him.

4. Granny Weatherwax from the Discworld. She is a BITCH and we LOVE HER. Just. Damn, but there's something so reassuring about her existing as a character? Like. Yeah, she's not very nice. But she tries her best to be good, even when it's not easy, even when it's not pleasant.

3. Nie Huaisang. Whaaaaaat, he is only number three? what fraud is this?? But yeah, I love him a lot, and I think he's just cool. I have no idea who he is in canon. We know who he was, and who he appears to be, but there's pretty much no clues as to the person he really is. How much of the image he presents is real, how much is fake, and does it even matter, does he even know himself what's real or not? I love a character open to interpretation!

2. Bertha Mason (from Jane Eyre). I think she's just a fascinating character, shrouded in mysteries. She is the greatest of evils, and she is the greatest of victims. She is a murdering foul bitch, and she is a woman whose life was controlled by the men around her. There are so, so many ways to read her character, so many possible interpretations! It makes it really fun to write fanfics about her, and to read about people's opinions of her. Which... is kind of a theme here, uh?

Link from any of the main games except Skyward Sword. Listen I know he's usually got the personality of a paperclip, but also he's cool and brave and funny, and I've spent countless hours of my youth (...and of my adult years too...) playing Zelda games, and I started writing and drawing out of love for the franchise, and I just think he's a neat character bc you can project whatever you want upon him

#jau rants #I like complicated and ambivalent characters I guess

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snuggetfish · 4 years ago

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I gotta say, Majima is arguably the loneliest of the main characters in the yakuza series. Probably most of his loneliness stems from his tendency to push people away, and also from his troubled past. Tbh I’d just want to be his best friend & trusted confidant knowing how much pain he’s been through 😞

I fully agree anon... he’s a tragic character and it’s really heartbreaking to see how often he gets left behind. How much time he spends isolated, trapped in physical and mental cages, some others build to manipulate him, some he builds himself to avoid pain.

I think this was one the primary reasons I took such a liking to Majima. In Y0 the contrast between him and Kiryu was staggering if you looked past the surface. Two young men, both with gang aspirations, both caught up in a plot much larger than they can comprehend... but that’s roughly where the similarities end, because their lived experiences are so different.

Kiryu is a no-name fresh face who’s still getting the hang of this yakuza thing. His upbringing was less than ideal, but he nevertheless has a support network - a kyodai, two father figures to look up to. Even if he’s not as keen on showboating as Nishiki is, admiration for Kazama and Kashiwagi and the glamour he thinks a criminal lifestyle will bring still drive him to some extent. He’s a bit naive, a bit awkward, a bit overly serious, sort of like you’d expect your typical 20-year-old to be.

But Majima... Majima’s barely 4 years older and he’s been through so. much. shit. At Kiru’s age, he already made peace with death, deciding to follow through with the Ueno hit. Then he’s torn away from his kyodai, gets mutilated for it, endures a full year of torture. By the time he’s “released” and expected to somehow fit into civilian life again, he’s accrued a reputation. Both Nishiki and Kiryu have heard of him, his name more a synonym for a cautionary tale. What happens when you disobey, what you definitely don’t want to have happen to you...

While Kiryu has to climb from the bottom of the ladder again to earn a name for himself, Majima has to claw out from the pits of hell, pretty much literally if you think about what kinda place the Hole must’ve been... Even out of there, he spends every waking moment working a thankless job, under a sadistic, shitty boss, confined to a city far away from home, within just a few blocks of space he’s allowed to roam. And, as you mention, he’s... really lonely. I was so much more invested in making friends with the people in Sotenbori than those in Kamurocho because I felt Majima had no one at all. Not until he met the Sunshine girls at least.

And even then, they’re not the kind of friends he can fully open up to. In fact, I think very few characters throughout the series can say they’ve seen into his heart. Maybe because they don’t put in the effort, maybe because he doesn’t let them in... either way they don’t perceive this loneliness.

Nishida knows his boss is sentimental, so he’s for sure seen glimpses of his inner turmoil, but I’m not sure how much he can be considered Majima’s confidant. More an unwitting one, at best. The power imbalance makes it hard to gauge how much of a true connection they have. Loyalty to the patriarch is paramount and I would bet a lot of the Majima family members see him mostly as a strong authority figure, someone whose image you respect and admire. Not necessarily as the complex, sometimes vulnerable man he is.

Also Kiryu. Kiryu realizes the clan isn’t what he’s bargained for and tries again and again to leave it all behind, by... offloading responsibility onto the shoulders of someone who’s as well dissatisfied with the Tojo leadership. He’s off to make his Okinawa orphanage a reality, but, like the comic I just reblogged before this says:

“What about me?”

What about Majima? He accepts the task of looking after Daigo, since he’s been beaten fair and square, by his own rules. But does Kiryu really never consider that Majima too may want something different? To run loose and be his own master, build a strong family, sure... alone? Always alone? Always left behind to clean up messes?

Even Saejima, the only guy who can claim he knows Majima through and through, fails to consider his feelings sometimes. Saejima’s main conviction is that “it’s never too late” and that he’s gotta put all his affairs in order, atone for what he’s done and once that’s out of the way he can resume his dream. It’s an optimistic and even idealistic way of looking at things, one that Majima doesn’t share. He’s not a kyodai collector like his bro, he’s already suffered through so many decades of loneliness and just when he thinks he has Saejima back, the guy returns to prison. Twice.

Does Saejima really never see how much Majima's hurting? He scoffs at him in Y5 when they’re at the restaurant and then at the batting cages, says he’s being “a sack”... Come on man, you’re abandoning him at a time where he’s really feeling the weight of his years and of the changing nature of the yakuza. It’s not surprising that he’d be depressed...

I’ve rambled a lot I guess but in a nutshell: YES. I want nothing more than for Majima to have someone by his side who loves and appreciates him for everything - good, bad, crazy. Who doesn’t judge, mock or manipulate, who’s trustworthy and with whom Majima feels comfortable enough to share any and every thought. Maybe now that things have settled and he’s in his twilight years, that person can be Saejima once again... but his obvious anguish throughout the previous games is still hard to watch 🥺

#anon asks #majima goro #goro majima #snugasks

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cowardnthief · 4 years ago

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Alright, I am curious. Why is Jonny Cade queercoded and what queer subtext was there in their relationship with Ponyboys? 👀

TW: mentions of abuse, violence, death, murder

also spoilers for the outsiders!! (i mean it is a 60 year old book, but still)

-------

OOH OKAY OKAY

(In all honesty, I could probably do a whole essay on this, but I'll keep it brief-ish.)

Bit of background on The Outsiders: It's a book written in the early 60s that focuses on the class divide between the rich Socs (Socials) and the working-class greasers (like, "hoods", criminals), or rather the people within each of those groups who don't feel like they fit into the binary.

Ponyboy is the protagonist of the novel. He and Johnny are both greasers and part of a gang with a few others, including Ponyboy's two older brothers and three other boys.

Let's start with Johnny. Johnny is extremely queer-coded in his own right. He's described early on as timid, shy, weak and maybe a little feminine. He's seen as the gang's "pet" and the youngest, despite being sixteen to Ponyboy's fourteen. His friends are very fond and protective of him. A lot of this behaviour comes from his trauma, being abused by his parents as well as beaten nearly to death by a Soc named Bob. However, it also falls into an archetype of stereotypical queer characters. Writing male characters in this way is a way of subtly telling an audience that they are queer. This probably wasn't done intentionally, but should be kept in mind.

Johnny's character development involves him becoming more masculine, almost. The final important act he does in the book is save children from a burning building. Ponyboy comments on the fact that he seemed braver, louder etc in that moment, all traits associated with masculinity, which is 1) a strange reaction to the situation, especially for Johnny, and 2) exactly the kind of narrative standpoint one would take to show that femininity (or queerness) is bad.

Now for Ponyboy - his queer-coding is more subtle at times, and a little different. He isn't timid or shy or scared or feminine like Johnny. (However, he does once say that he "didn't care too much for girls yet", but that his brother said he would grow out of it. This is particularly strange, considering he is fourteen already.) Early on, it's established that he feels like an outsider within his own group. He doesn't really feel like a greaser, or act like one. He likes things that greasers don't like. He watches movies, he reads, he likes to see the sunset. He considers himself different, or "other", and he feels as if he can't talk about it. His friends just wouldn't get it.

A large part of the book, in my opinion, is Ponyboy finding other "outsiders", like Cherry and Johnny. (Cherry being a Soc while Johnny is another greaser.) All three of them talked once, while at a drive-in, Ponyboy finding a particular connection with Cherry despite her not being the only girl there. They all have the same sense of feeling “other”, and not being able to talk about it for fear of being judged.

Now for Johnny and Ponyboy’s relationship, which...oh boy. Some of it is just scenes like this, which feel very queer, outright:

“‘Guess I look okay now, huh, Johnny?’

He was studying me. ‘You know, you look an awful lot like Sodapop, the way you’ve got your hair and everything. I mean, except your eyes are green.’

‘They ain’t green, they’re gray,’ I said, reddening. ‘And I look about as much like Soda as you do.’ I got to my feet. ‘He’s good-looking.’

‘Shoot,’ Johnny said with a grin, ‘you are, too.’”

Not to mention the whole chapter they spend literally just acting like a domestic gay couple while they’re on the run, just the two of them, from the police. There’s also this conversation they have while watching the sunrise in this chapter (which I’ll talk more about later once I get to the symbolism), in which they talk about being outsiders. Here are a few quotes from that:

“‘You know,’ Johnny said slowly, ‘I never noticed colors and clouds and stuff until you kept reminding me about them. It seems like they were never there before.’”

“‘Well, Soda kinda looks like your mother did, but he acts just exactly like your father. And Darry is the spittin' image of your father, but he ain't wild and laughing all the time like he was. He acts like your mother. And you [Ponyboy] don't act like either one.’”

“‘You [Johnny] ain't like any of the gang. I mean, I couldn't tell Two-Bit or Steve or even Darry about the sunrise and clouds and stuff. I couldn't even remember that poem around them. I mean, they just don't dig. Just you and Sodapop. And maybe Cherry Valance.’

Johnny shrugged. ‘Yeah,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I guess we're different.’

‘Shoot,’ I said, blowing a perfect smoke ring, ‘maybe they are.’”

(Honestly, can my whole argument just be that one quote? “I guess we’re different.” // “Shoot. Maybe they are.” Queer stuff, huh?)

Later in the book, when Johnny is in the hospital, Ponyboy stresses again and again that he can’t think about him dying, that he can’t fathom a life without him. Everyone in the group is fond of Johnny, but Ponyboy acts like Johnny’s death would destroy him.

When Johnny is dying, he asks to see Ponyboy. His last words are to Ponyboy, despite Dally also being in the room. One of the other last things he does is write a letter to Ponyboy.

Johnny is also the first person Ponyboy runs to when his older brother hits him early in the book.

When Johnny dies, Ponyboy falls into denial, pretending and convincing himself that Johnny isn’t dead, because he couldn’t handle the grief. He says the reason that he doesn’t go insane with it, like Dally does, is because Johnny isn’t the only thing he loves.

This isn’t nearly all of it, but this post is already long as fuck, and I want to talk about some of the metaphors and symbols too.

Symbol #1: The hair

The is a more obvious one, as the author clearly intended it to be a metaphor, although probably not for something queer. When Johnny and Ponyboy go on the run after Johnny killed a Soc in self-defence, the two of them have to cut off their hair. This is obviously a big deal to them, especially Ponyboy, because they’re proud of their hair - it’s a symbol of the greasers, of rebellion, and it’s one of the last things they have that tie them with their gang back in the city. However, having Johnny and Ponyboy specifically cut off their hair feels like more of a symbol of them severing their ties to the greasers. They feel like outsiders within their own group already, and this is a way of showing that they’re leaving it behind, or starting to. (Shedding symbols of comphet, you know.)

Symbol #2: Sunrises and sunsets

Johnny, Cherry and Ponyboy, three characters who are outsiders within their own community, all spend time watching sunrises or sunsets. It’s one of the things that Ponyboy and Cherry bond over and talk about. Johnny and Ponyboy also watch a sunrise while they’re on the run. It’s a small thing that unites the three of them and becomes almost a symbol of their “otherness”, and thus, queercoding enters the chat. Also, the sunrise that Ponyboy and Johnny watch can symbolise the “beginning” of their relationship, as they start to see each other in a different light.

Symbol #3: Gone with the Wind

When Johnny and Ponyboy are on the run, Ponyboy buys the book Gone with the Wind from a corner store. They read it together. The book is an idealised story of the southern, free, country life. Johnny makes comments about how the men in the book are charming and gallant and he admires them. The book symbolises both what Ponyboy and Johnny wish they could be, like happy and free and rich (and straight and masculine), and what they are, or what they’re starting to find with each other while in the countryside. When Johnny is in the hospital, he asks for a copy of the book to read. It’s one of his last requests. In my opinion, he asked for it both to remember Ponyboy and to escape to a reality where he wasn’t young and dying, to one where he was still with Ponyboy on the run, or one like in the book where none of this happened at all. The book is integral to their relationship.

Symbol #4: The poem

When Ponyboy and Johnny are watching the sunrise in the church, Ponyboy recites a poem by Robert Frost:

Nature’s first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold,

Her early leaf’s a flower,

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf,

And Eden sank to grief.

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

At the time, the two of them both say that they don’t understand the poem. When Johnny dies later in the book, his last words to Ponyboy are to “stay gold”. In the letter he wrote for Ponyboy, which Ponyboy reads later, he says that he now understands the poem.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you’re gold when you’re a kid, like green. When you’re a kid, everything’s new, dawn. It’s just when you get used to everything that it’s day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That’s gold. Keep that way, it’s a good way to be.”

Oh boy, there’s a lot to say about this poem.

First of all, the poem symbolises what Ponyboy gave Johnny - a new outlook on life. A lens with which to see more beautiful things. Johnny said that he hadn’t really appreciated sunsets or clouds before Ponyboy pointed them out to him.

Secondly, the meaning of the poem. When you consider Johnny’s interpretation, also taking into account what sunsets and sunrises etc. mean in this book, it’s possible that the “gold” phase is Ponyboy’s acceptance of himself. Ponyboy loves Johnny. He knows he’s different, and while he doesn’t shout it from the rooftops, he’s happy with it in his own way. He finds other people like him, queer, like Cherry and Johnny.

However, the poem’s whole meaning is that nothing gold can stay. That’s the message we’re left with, even with Johnny’s insistence of “staying gold”. It could honestly be referring to an array of things - perhaps Johnny himself, or life in general (given the amount of death in this book), or youth. Obviously, this whole post is about the queer undertones in the outsiders, so one could argue that it’s about a queer youth experience, especially in the past - finding someone like you, someone you love, but it not lasting forever, and it being especially difficult to find again, given the circumstances.

In the end, Johnny dies, but he leaves Ponyboy with all the things that remind him of him - sunsets, sunrises, Gone with the Wind, stargazing. And ultimately, I think that’s the “gold” that the book is referring to.

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oliviermiraarmstrongs · 3 years ago

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mid-year book freak out tag

thank you @bloody-wonder for giving me an excuse to share my book thoughts!

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

It’s gotta be The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood; I hear “feminist period novel about mentally ill woman unable to cope in upper-class society” and I am THERE! It’s like [Stefon voice] This book has EVERYTHING: repressed women, a decaying old house, a complex relationship of two sisters, a pulpy sci-fi story-within-a-story-within-a-story, criticism of capitalism and reactionary attitudes and politics, commentary on how conservative society shuns those it perceives to be “other” and a threat to the social order (poor people, socialists, “unconventional” women). It is EXTREMELY my shit.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

The only one I've read is Siege and Storm, so Siege and Storm! Shadow and Bone was captivating, if a little simplistic, but the sequel really fleshes out the characters, setting, and themes. It’s great to see Alina take a more active role, and I love the exploration of sainthood.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To?

I’m really curious about Michelle Zauner’s memoir Crying in H Mart. Same with Axiom’s End, which I haven’t really been seeking out, but it’s been resting on my list since I like a lot of Lindsay Ellis’ stuff.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021?

5. Biggest Disappointment?

The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood. I’ve been getting into Atwood, and I have a soft spot for female-centric retellings of myths, so this was on my list for a long time. It’s not bad; it’s decent as a character study and offers some good perspective on the hanged slave women from The Odyssey, but overall it came off as...bitter? And not in a good way. It’s reasonable to include commentary on how bad things were for women in ancient times, but after a while I’m just like “But there had to be a time when Penelope was happy, right?” But the biggest failing has to be the treatment of Helen. Why a story focused on bringing literary justice to silenced women also characterizes Helen of Troy as a manipulative, arrogant bitch who single-handedly ignited the Trojan War because she enjoys fucking people over, I’ll never know. Ironic that in the opening chapter, Penelope bemoans being used as a yardstick with which to judge other women, and then the book proceeds to do exactly that with her and Helen. Can’t let Penelope have a positive relationship with another woman! There could be some form of unreliable narrator at play, but there’s not much indication that that’s the case here. Even Homer had a more nuanced portrayal of Helen than this!

6. Biggest Surprise?

I suppose The Red Tent. I picked it up at a Goodwill because of my aforementioned interest in female-centric retellings. It’s not amazing, but I wasn’t really expecting it to emotionally affect me like it did. You spend so much time setting up Dinah’s family and this supportive community of woman within a patriarchal society, only to have Dinah abandon it all after getting betrayed by her father and (most of) her brothers. Hearing about how her family fell apart after she left and she never got to see her mothers again really gets to me. The book has flaws for sure - neither of Dinah’s romances are developed very well, and some of its themes can come off as gender essentialist - but I think it’s a nice exploration of female labor and traditions that too often get ignored.

7. Favorite New Author?

The only relatively new author I’ve been reading is Leigh Bardugo, soooooo... honestly I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t already been said, I got into the series pretty late. Great world-building, witty dialogue, a familiar type of story with enough interesting ideas to make it feel fresh. Check out Shadow and Bone if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.

8. Newest Fictional Crush?

You would think it would be Nikolai Lantsov since I just finished reading Siege and Storm and he seems to be the fan favorite... but nah, not yet. He’s fun, but he doesn’t hit me in that way (Though very sexy of him to just casually proposition Alina and Mal for a royal polycule, a la Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot; would love an AU where they accept his offer). However, I would let Zoya murder me. Every time Zoya is not in a scene I am asking “Where’s Zoya?” Also shout out to Alina, just because I would treat her better than all the men in her life!

9. Newest Favorite Character?

Gonna try to do this without spoiling too much, but Laura Chase in The Blind Assassin really resonated with me. Her personality reminds me a lot of myself, especially as an an autistic person, like the way she has her own way of thinking that makes perfect sense to her, but makes other people see her as odd and naive. I love how she’s set up in-universe as this Sylvia Plath-esque tragic heroine, with Iris spending the rest of the book interrogating and deconstructing, and in a way, reconstructing this image of her. Atwood you’re insane for this. I forgive you for the Helen thing now.

10. Book That Made You Cry?

I never got as far as crying, but the part in The Goldfinch where [spoilers incoming] the art heist goes wrong and Theo is alone in the hotel room and he’s spiraling and considering suicide and finally dreams of his mom… all that was too much for me and I had to put the book down for the night. This guy just can’t catch a fucking break.

11. Book That Made You Happy?

fucidjdjdj I didn’t read any happy books this year. Shadow and Bone and Siege and Storm because I read them really fast unlike my usual months-long reading schedule.

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw?

Predictably, Shadow and Bone. I basically bought and read the book less than a week before the show came out because I thought it looked interesting and wanted in on the hype (mostly because Jessie is cute 🥰). Honestly, the show improves a lot on the first book; the multiple storylines make it more dynamic and complex, the actors really help to make the characters feel more fleshed out, and Alina and Inej interacted for like three scenes, introducing an unexpected but thematically rich ship.

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year?

14. Most Beautiful Book You’ve Bought So Far This Year?

I impulse-bought this book of Romantic poetry at Barnes and Noble just because it was pretty and I had a gift card

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End Of The Year?

Besides finishing The Grisha Trilogy/Six of Crows duology/Zoya’s duology that I forgot the name of….I don’t know. I’m not a reader that plans in advance. I acquire books, finish whatever I’m currently reading, look through my stacks deciding what to read next, spend an hour doing so because I can’t decide if I’m in the mood for any of them, and either force myself to read one or buy/borrow a new one.

I’m tagging @betweenironyandsilver, @illuminaticns, @borispavlikovskys, @chdarling, @sctine, @mightyaubs, @excuseforadrink, and @trckstergods, if you wanna! Or anyone who wants to yell about books.

#sophia says shit #tagged as me #sorry for taking so long I write slow and am on vacation #but thank you! I don’t get many excuses to talk about books!

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alatismeni-theitsa · 4 years ago

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16 anti LO anon opinions

All under the cut

(1) Fastpassers are also probably mad bc when smythe post fastpass title on twitter(which was heathers musical song ripoff) everyone was so hyped up and excided, they thought this gonna be about "Underqold badass queen Persephone " or something with her trail or something big with her, but no, they got Minthe flashback that didnt change anything in the story

(2) Fastpassers are annoyed bc this episode was flashback of Minthe. Two previous fastpasses got pretty big(and stupid) revals(leto is bad guy,apollo and artemis may be zeus child and last but not least Cronus awakening) so they were hopping for something more not a filler wpisode that changes nothing in to the story bc there were wpisodes that make Minthe more "symphatetic" than this one.

(3) Am i the only one a bit concerned that a Minthe episode made LO fans demand their money back but apparently episodes and a planned redemption over Apollo, who R*PED the main character, was met with fans sympathizing with him and feeling bad for judging him "too soon"? They can accept a sexual assaulter having mommy issues to excuse his bad actions, but a boring filter episode about Minthe, who we know will be killed by the end anyway, gets outrage? That doesn't sit well with me.

(4) oh my god the LO fans hated the minthe fast pass so much they actually made LO's rating start to go down 😭 most of us here dont even like the comic but none of us would purposely review bomb it over a boring episode over a character we didnt like, thats so entitled!

(5) Adding on to the recent fastpass, it was extremely boring. I get that you can't please everyone but the fact that Minthe is having a backstory now just feels like filler.

This is the main issue I have with Rachel's story, she has so many characters but chooses to develop them at the worst times. If we got this backstory earlier in season 2, this would make sense. However, the fp before this one ended on a cliffhanger. You'd think it'd continue but no, we just get Minthe backstory.

I'd rather see an Apollo backstory, he's an active villain and would be interesting to see his motive.

Minthe doesn't have a compelling motive other than jealousy.

(6) I can't be the only one who thinks the new hairstyle updates for characters like Apollo or Eros look weird right? Eros literally looks like an adult version of one of his siblings Storge (who has curly permed hair and was holding a hamster)

(7) That Lo eros panel ... oof. Wheres his hairline going? He had a damn 7 head. Also at least for awhile the men had a different face from the women, but I guess they’re also women now, facial features wise?

(8) On a side note: why the fuck is Eros so ugly in this episode😭

(9) SMYTHE DOES NOT ONLY HAVE A DD/LG KINK, SHE A L S O HAS A PREGNANCY KINK!!! WHY ELSE HADES WAS SO *SMIRKY* ABOUT THE WHOLE FERTILITY GODDESS THING BACK WHEN HE AND PERSEPHONE WERE AT THE BEACH???? i swear to Allah this shit gets even more and more disgusting.

(10) This is something i see so much but LO especially but why do all of them have boring ancient clothes? It's always white or tan sheets or maybe black if it's someone in the Underworld. I'm going more off ancient images but shouldn't the gods especially have more grand and detailed clothing options? i get it's probably harder to design based off colorful skin tones but it's not impossible. it just seems so much of the comic design feels very flat, so if the story can't hold up then the art should.

(11) The main problem I had before with lore olympus was its cliffhanger syndrome. Like, why do some many chapters leave on a cliffhanger and for no reason at all? Like when Hera got hit and nothing happened. When I was experiencing the episodes coming out in real time, it drove me mad.

It's gotten better recently but that's probably because the three recent episodes (fastpass) felt more like filler.

That's the main reason why I feel like the plot is being dragged out. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cute character moments and creators getting money but, LO is slowly becoming less and less interesting. I literally skipped around in most of the fasspasses because it really wasn't interesting. The only thing memorable about all of the fp episodes is the beginning and end, the middle is just kinda there.

(12) Ampelus (psyche)'s eyes used to be golden/yellow but now its coloured purple lmao

(13) Wtf is happening in lore olympus?! Now they want to bring cronus back and do another war?!? Are they crazy nothing like this didnt happen in mythology and obviously not bc of persephone(in comic her pink tree in underwold will give crounus power and life). It supposed to be romance not whatever fuck this is now.

(14) I feel like if I was at Henson Co. or Webtoons with a tv deal on the line, I would make Smythe to hand writing duties to a pro or take a hiatus seriously plan everything out, because all these new plots are distracting from what people signed up for, which is to see HxP get together and the myth. It seems like filter seeing as any TV adaption wouldn't cover most of it anyway, so why even include it? If RS wants it over sooner than later, this isn't how you do it, she's just procrastinating now.

(15) I find Demeter in LO just confusing. If she’s so overbearing and controlling, why would she ever allow Persephone out of their domain to live with Artemis in the city? Even the most liberally easy going parents don’t let their naive children out into the world like that with people they barely know, yet the supposed helicopter parent does. Why not literally literally lock her up? Especially when Persephone can’t control her powers and is desperate to hide that she killed a village of people? Demeter knows she’s a danger to others yet let her out anyway? That doesn’t sounding overbearing to me. It sounds like she’s right to want to hide her away. Persephone is a bigger threat to everyone else than they are to her. More so, actual controlling parents do give their children phones to keep easy tabs on them, yet LO Demeter doesn’t? She could constantly call Persephone or check up on her without physically needing to be there, yet they don’t do that. What modern parent would let their child leave home without a way to contact them? If anything, she’s extremely loose on parenting her and lets Persephone do/have whatever she wants. The controlling helicopter parent premise too is undercut by the fact LO Demeter ends up being right in wanting to hide her daughter away because within a month of leaving home Persephone is drugged, kidnapped, threatened by several people, r*ped, blackmailed, is close to dropping out of school, attacked by shades, and had a mental/emotional breakdown, many of those things being linked to her future “caring” husband. I just don’t buy it. Demeter ends up looking correct by anyone who isn’t blinded by the rose colored glasses of HxP.

(16) If I'll ever bother to read LO I'll do so only to see how horrible exactly it is.

#anti lo #answered

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dragon-of-dreams · 4 years ago

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Pieces

My Masterlist

Part four to Cracking a Code; Previous Part

Pairing: dark!Steve Rogers x Reader (fem)

Warnings: Swearing, gaslighting, stalking, aftermath of noncon, noncon touching

Summary: The next day can’t be real, can it? Or where y/n goes into work and gets hit by a strong sense of deja vu.

Word count: 2k

A/n: I’m so sorry that this a) took so long and b) has so much plot not much else, but well I promise it’ll get creepier next chapter!

~*~

The next morning you woke before your alarm clock, which was good because it gave you time for the world’s longest and most thorough shower.

And was also terrible because you woke up and it was still real.

It happened.

The intensity with which you scrubbed down your body was straight out unhealthy and you only stopped when you realized how close you were to breaking skin. He’d hurt you, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hurting yourself over him. You were hurting enough as it was.

While that mindset stayed with you, you were also shaking the entire time it took you to put on clothes and get to the office. Leaving your apartment was harder than you had ever imagined it being. For the first time in your life, you could understand those people you sometimes saw on the television, who hadn’t left their homes in years. You’d give anything for a reprive of having to live what was now your daily life. You knew it wouldn’t end and hiding in your apartment sounded oh-so-appealing, if – in your case – completely useless.

You used the short elevator ride down to your apartment lobby for some breathing exercises, put on a smile for your doorman, and in front of the double doors leading out into the Brooklyn sunshine you froze.

You knew Steve wouldn’t be there to follow you around. No, he wouldn’t stoop that low. But then again, he didn’t have to. You were terrified as his words rang in your ears: Good thing I had Buck accompanying you home. As you stared out into the busy street before you, you knew without a doubt, in your heart, that Bucky Barnes, the fucking Winter Soldier, was out there waiting for you. Watching you. Never leaving you. You were fucked. There was no running away.

“Miss? Are you alright?” You turned your head to the porter approaching you from behind his desk where he kept guard over his proverbial sheep, unknowing that you’d been torn by the wolf already.

You forced a smile: “Yes, thank you, uh, “ your eyes flew to his name tag, “George. Work has been keeping me so busy lately I’m turning into the weird professor guy from the movies!” you laughed and George chuckled but eyed you worriedly. “I’ll see you later, Miss. Please take it easy at work today. Tell Mr. Stark to cut you some slack!” You smiled and nodded at him: “Will do. See you tonight” and with that, you pushed through the doors and the pit in your stomach. Out into the bustling life of New York City.

You didn’t look behind you as you briskly walked down the street to the subway, but you could feel Bucky’s eyes on you like the fog creeping in in early October. It was an all-consuming feeling, creeping in from the sea to swallow you whole.

But you kept your head up high. You weren’t a stranger to being afraid, to being bullied. You had been the smartest student in every class you had ever taken and men didn’t appreciate being beaten by a woman. You hadn’t backed down when you were a kid, you wouldn’t bow down now, not to Captain America and most certainly not to the Winter Soldier! You knew you were putting up a façade but if you didn’t you wouldn’t have made it out of bed this morning, maybe never have left it again, but that wasn’t you.

‘Oh yes, the times are changing and those boys better get with the program’, you thought grimly as you stepped into a subway car and crossed your arms, staring at the open doors, waiting for your shadow to make an appearance.

Bucky entered through the doors to your left. You almost missed him, but now that you knew you weren’t looking for blond and beefy but brunette and murdery it was a lot harder for him to play invisible. He was good, but you were better.

But by God was he confused when you approached him. “Good morning, Mr. Barnes. I don’t know what Steve told you about me, or what your involvement in all of this is, but here is what I am telling you: Fuck off. I don’t want to see you or him again, so make sure he gets the message?”

Before Bucky could reply you moved away from him and slumped down in between two elderly ladies, the perfect shield from anyone getting close to you. Even Bucky knew not to harass a woman in front of two NYC ladies. They’d beat him to death with their shopping bags. You smirked at the mental image you had created in your mind, escaping reality even if getting away was only temporary.

Once you were sitting, the pain you had ignored so diligently came back with force. Your lower half was cramping and sore and you wanted to cry from the pain of it, but no, not while Bucky was there. Not ever again, while any man could see. ‘When had you turned to hate men for what one had to you?’ you wondered.

Bucky disappeared one stop before the tower and you were relieved that he seemingly had realized how dead-serious you were.

The second you entered the tower, you were utterly, abnormally calm and finally stopped shaking. You didn’t have a plan yet, but you knew you’d have to get away, away from this place and Steve and all the pain he’d caused you. After all, you could barely move without hurting.

You could go and teach at any university in the country. They’d love to have you. All you needed to figure out how to quit without seeming suspicious. That was going to be difficult because Tony knew you loved your job. But you couldn’t tell him the truth. No one would believe you if you told them the real reason and you had worked too hard to now be labeled as a crazy fangirl/stalker-lady. You huffed. If only they knew who the real stalker was.

You smiled at your secretary, thanked her for the coffee she had bought for you on her way to work. You squared your shoulders and open the door to your office ready to start your day.

When you entered your office you were hit with a strong sense of déjà vu, you started to shiver again and felt all color leave your face. You almost dropped your coffee.

Steve was in your office again. But luckily – blessedly even – so was Tony. What the actual fuck? You cursed in your mind but tried to smile. It didn’t work judging by Tony’s expression.

“Y/n, are you all right?” he asked while crossing the room towards you. “You don’t look too good.” Before Tony’s outstretched hand could touch you, you took half a step back. “I think I’m coming down with something. The flu, I guess,” you mumbled.

“Then why didn’t you stay home?” said a sincerely concerned voice – Steve’s. Sincerely concerned? No, it couldn’t be! Your creepy-man-radar must just be off, right?

“I… I… I promised Jarvis to teach him about the code. I forgot yesterday” you murmured turning to the super-soldier, whose brows were drawn up in concern and he was leaning forward, looking you over as if to check for injuries or signs of your alleged flu. ‘What was going on?’

“Is there anything I can do for you gentlemen?” you asked. Steve smiled at you at that. His smile was stunning. So… open and kind. And WHAT THE HELL??? No! His smile wasn’t kind! He was your rapist! Except that it was. There was no denying that. If your entire body hadn’t been hurting maybe you would’ve started talking yourself into the fantasy that yesterday hadn’t happened, but it did. But his smile was nothing like yesterday. His smile made you want to trust him.

“Well, y/n, I just wanted to congratulate you and Stevie here wanted to thank you for your speedy work. We were able to arrest 20 people yesterday because of the intel you decrypted.”

“Yeah? That’s great” you forced out and turned back to Tony, but your eyes kept straying to Steve.

“Were you working late again, Gaia?” Tony suddenly asked. Shit. Tony had been on your ass to get a life. “No, no, why?”

“Because you look, and please forgive me for being frank here, worn out and really sick. I told you to take better care of yourself. Work isn’t everything, you know?”

You were about to call Tony out on that, after all, he was famous for his work benders, but Steve never gave you the chance.

“Jarvis, when has Ms y/l/n left her office yesterday?” Once more he sounded concerned. ‘Oh, that bastard’ you thought. Steve knew - of course - that you’d lied to Tony. “At 9 p.m., Captain, 4 hours after her workday usually ends, Sir.”

You wanted to strangle the AI at that moment.

“Well Tony, if you don’t mind I will take y/n home, then. She obviously needs to rest and I need to head to Brooklyn anyways to meet with Bucky.” Steve sounded offended that you’ lied, so righteous.

“Yes you do that, champ” Tony agreed, absentmindedly, not noticing that Steve had no right knowing where you lived. “Say hi to Buckeroo for me, will ya?” Steve nodded and added “Tony, you can’t work your employees that hard. We talked about this.” His voice was imploring, and a little disgruntled. What was happening?

“Well with this one it isn’t my fault” Tony replied flippantly as he walked to the door. “Take care of yourself y/n, okay?”

“Tony, I’m fine. I’m an adult, I can decide if I am fit to work or not!” You wanted to sound assertive, but you were rather aware that you begged. Tony just smiled at you and grinned: “What the Captain says goes, young lady, trust me it’s for the best.” And with that, he’d left your office, leaving you alone with your tormentor.

You were done for. You knew it. Steve would now pounce on you and break you to pieces and… fuck. You were getting wet. Your brain knew that this was a self-defense mechanism to your body, but your heart felt ashamed. There was no denying that the sex had ended spectatcularly.

You jumped a mile when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder, ripping you out of your thoughts. “y/n?” Steve’s voice was soft. “It’s time to go home, come on.”

“Don’t touch me” you replied, your voice hoarse with unshed tears.

“Don’t worry, I can’t catch the flu, you could even cough on me, doll.” Steve joked, as he took your coffee from you and placed it on your table. “Any aches, pains or other flu symptoms?” For the first time since Tony left you, you dared look into his face. He seemed so concerned that you couldn’t help yourself and nodded. “Yeah. “ You sounded defeated even in your own head. “Both.”

“It’s okay, angel. I’ll take you home and take care of you.” Steve wrapped his warm, strong arm around you and moved you out of your office. Everything started to blur together, as he called out to your secretary that you were sick and he was taking you home and he moved you into an elevator and finally maneuvered you into a car. You let him. You let yourself be manhandled. You still didn’t understand what was happening. Where was the man who had almost fucked you to pieces yesterday night? At the thought, more wetness gathered between your thighs and you blushed scarlet as Steve got into the driver’s seat next to you. If any of the rumors about his enhanced senses were true, he’d be able to smell you by now.

As Steve pulled into the crazy Manhatten traffic he said: ”Bucky told me about your little argument this morning” His voice was so soft it lulled you in even more, “and quite frankly darling, I don’t appreciate the language you used nor how unappreciative of my protection you are. I know this must all be difficult for you, but there will still have to be consequences for your behavior,” ‘he sounds like a well-meaning teacher’ you thought confused. “but for today, I think you earned yourself some aftercare for taking my cock so well yesterday.” You felt like you’d been hit by a truck. Steve still sounded absolutely casual, but you froze at the slight mention.

His right hand settled on your thigh. “Breathe, darling, deep breath. It’s gonna be alright. I’m gonna take care of you from now on out.”

#fanfic #dark!Steve #Captain America #dark!Steve x reader #marvel #Cracking a code #dark!fic

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 4 years ago

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omg so I read this manga this morning called Sesame Salt and Pudding and it’s ab this 22 y/o girl who gets drunk and accidentally marries a stranger, who happens to be 42. it’s the cutest lil slice of life just a really healthy relationship and all i could think was this would be the funniest meet cute for Erwin.

Thanks for linking me the manga website anon omfg you're a real one💙🐛

Alright so below is my 1am thoughts while reading it as i listen to a daddy/mommy issues playlist i found online and drinking green apples monster energy.

Tw: mentions of sex | Tw: suggestive words

Chapter one

The girl is really pretty, I'm really gay.

Wait so she married him while drunk and now can't remember anything?

This lowkey does look like Erwin without gel in his hair

...why can i see Erwin as the type of drunk to not only sign a wedding registration paper but also demand both of you must go get wedding ware, paying for your dress or suit.

Consent 👏yes👏100%👏the bare minimum👏Erwin values consent above literally anything else👏Erwin wouldn't touch you without permission even while drunk out of his mind👏again it's the bare minimum👏

An older dude that cooks & cleans while staying home as i go out and provide for us? This is my dream. Stay at home husband Reiner stay at home husband Reiner stay at ho

Ngl i think Erwin wouldn't know anything past basic cooking despite him reading all these cooking books and watching videos, i think if he really was dedicated he'd sign up for a cooking class go get high level skills just to impress you but treat it like it's nothing

...he didn't wanna stare at her chest so he went to clean the fridge- Erwin would def be that kind of gentleman to change his own attitude instead of ever telling you to change or cover up.

I love her job oh my god yes.

Ooo a love rival huh👀 is this gonna turn into a triangle situation

The only love rival I'd ever see for Erwin is Nile tbh, like i think if it was Miche, Hange or Levi then he'll talk it out and either him or the person backs off.

He gets gloomy when jealous huh~

THIS IS FUNNIER THAN IT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE DOAKDJKAKSN I CAN'T.

I can't even imagine Erwin's reaction if you said this to him, like he won't even be mad he would just be really taken back, standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️...he'd even be amused.

Okay- okay this is a good reaction...I think Erwin would say something similar but rephrase it to he more subtle yet somehow making it sound dirtier.

Something along the lines of, "well, if you're so sure then why don't you find out yourself."

And "after all i can't deny that i haven't thought about how beautiful looked last night...how the more beautiful you would've looked laying down."

"You looked like a really delicious treat"

"All pretty and alone, tearing about your worries, i just wanted to make you forget them all and leave the rest to me"

I should stop-

Chapter two

HE SAID HE IS HER UNCLE I CAN'T BREATHE I LOVE THIS

Oh shit he overhead them oh shit

Shit is going down oh god

Man if it was Nile in this hypothetical insert then he'd be hold this information like the petty bitch he is and use it at the date instead.

Chapter three

Ngl dude, i really hate it when they treat it like a women's reputation is all she has. I especially hate the purity culture of that a young women can't be a roommate with a man because "what will people say" like...if they're fucking who cares and if they aren't literally who cares? Do they realise gay people exist too and two women have an equal chance of sleeping together too?

It feels like they treat women as children, maybe I'm just projecting bc i live in a similar kind of culture where all these rules apply here if not more.

Anyway that manga is cute, it just angred me that these two men think they're responsible for solving her problem or as if they have any right to scold her or be angry like she's some kind of child and should listen.

It's her life, it's her problem and it's her who will solve it.

DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP. he's really acting like a bitch as if he has any right to be angry or even judge her oh my god.

"Impure background..." Get fucked.

The only ONLY reason he even can be angry is because she didn't mention being married while they were going for a date but they didn't even go on that date and nothing was official so why does she have to tell him her private life.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG HUGE RED FLAG

"get divorced immediately" HUGE FUCKING RED FLAG

Controlling Insecure cunt.

I'm sorry anon that I'm really going off on him and I'm sorry if you like him- it's just that i really really can't stand these things

THE MANGA IS LOVELY THO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RECOMMENDING IT I'D LOVE MORE WHENEVER💜

Oh baby, oh angel I'm so sorry you had to go through that, in no way is it ever right to get angry and yell no matter what especially since you apologised and admitted to your mistake.

Especially since he knew it was something you did while drunk and deeply regret it but he still took out his angry on you like you betrayed his trust when you weren't even together or like you intentionally did it.

Narcissistic dick.

I'm not talking about the next scenes because it might be triggering.

Chapter five

4 is missing :( idk how her parents visit went

We just started the chapter and-

Fuck her. Like what's up with toxic abusive people being too comfortable saying these things lmao like they actually take themselves seriously omfg.

Imagine saying this about Erwin tho, like it feels powerful to say. John maloney was right after all huh

So we doing this huh

👀

....oh :( we were just getting to the god part, man Erwin wouldn't have let a phone stop him.

Also bless the translator for their note at the end, it's good we're seperating fiction from reality and clarifying things to people on how to act in these scenarios.

Like drama is fun and all, I'm a huge sucker being extra, but things are different in real life and using fiction as a guide to how to deal with these, clearly written to be extra, situations should never ever be anyone's first choice.

Well that's all the 10 images tumblr will allow me in one post, i hope you had fun anon because i sure did! And i can definitely see this as a sweet wholesome Erwin/reader story, and if i ever did a an inspired rewriting of that manga with Erwin i can definitely see it being really fun to write!

Although i will change some stuff like that guy, i know people have good and bad sides but the guy specifically made me uncomfortable for personal reasons, i also Don't like mentioning serious things like anger controlling issues without diving deep into them.

Imma go finish the manga, if you want a part two, or have a different thing to recommend, please let me know💙

#talking🕯#Erwin🕯#recommendations🕯

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years ago

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Just Like a Woman - Part 11

A Roger Taylor x Reader Story

Summary: You and Roger were once in love when you were young. Only, he went on to be a rock star, and you went on to be a lawyer. Now, quite against your will, you’re representing him in his divorce.

Word Count: 3.3k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @moon-stars-soul, @im-an-adult-ish, @ixchel-9275, @jennyggggrrr, @zyanmaik, @mypassionfortrash, @a19103, @madeinheavxn, @beepbeephardy, @rrogerchxrm, @qweenly, @blisshemmings, @seasidecrowbar, @internationalkpoplova, @ellystone, @takemetoneverland420, @coffeexcigarette, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @thatpunkmaximoff, @angelkissys, @rocknroll-stolemyass, @simonedk, @anotheronewritesthedust1, @peterquillzblog, @mrfahrenhcit, @joseph-mozzerella, @theprettyandthereckless, @nixfreak, @johndeaconshands, @rogerandhiscar, @queenmaracasandlove, @sunflower-ben, @cubetriangle, @amy-brooklyn99, @scorpiogemini, @kiainspace, @itsabenthing, @bookandband, @makemeyourwife-loveofmylife, @grazessa, @borhapqueen92, @theonsasheart, @vektorivittu, @chanti-frn, @brianssixpence, @dancingcoolcat, @xviiarez, @irepookie, @lnnuend0, @rogerxmeddows, @vici-xx, @bellas2silly If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! Just to clarify because of the way it ends, but there is still more to this story! It’s not over yet!

Warning(s): Brief description of violence that we’ve already heard

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11 here we go!!!

You walked into work the next day, whistling to yourself. Roger had to stop by his house and change before he would be there to go with you all to the courthouse for the last bit of the trial. Jane smirked at you.

“Good night?” she asked.

“Excellent, Jane, thanks for asking,” you replied, snatching your messages out of her hand, but still smiling.

She shook her head and chuckled as you closed the door to your office. Just as it shut, you heard a high-pitched, child-like giggle. You whipped around, scanning your office for the source of the noise, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. You shrugged it off. It was probably just something from the main part of the office and you were too busy to think any more of it.

You gathered your things and headed for the conference room, humming now instead of whistling. Dominique smiled at you.

“You look great today, Y/N,” she said.

“Thank you, I feel great!” you replied brightly.

“Y/N,” Bill said as he and Roger entered the room. “You’re in a much better mood today.” He turned to Roger. “Well done, mate.”

Roger smiled. “Thanks, man.”

They shook hands.

You finally frowned. “Could you two not be gross?”

Dominique laughed. Bill took a seat beside her as Roger kissed your cheek in greeting. Bill decided to share the first draft of his closing. He would edit it more later after the trial depending on any new information that arose. You all approved of it, and then, you were off to court.

After the previous day, you were a bit nervous. Glen would be able to call more witnesses, and you were not prepared for any more surprises. Luckily, there didn’t appear to be any.

Glen stood up and called Nick to the stand. Dominique shrunk a little as she watched him walk up and take his oath before sitting down. Bill took her hand.

“Mr. Sully, tell us your account of the evening you and Ms. Beyrand went on your date,” Glen said.

“Well, it’s like she told you, we met at the bar, flirted, and then arranged to meet again,” Nick began. “I thought it was going well. Then she tells me she’s ready to go home, but I’ve been buying her drinks, and I think she’s telling me she’s ready to go home with me. So I offer to drive and we get in the car. I saw in her eyes that she wanted me to make a move, so I went for it. All of a sudden, she’s offended, and she hits me. I hit her back - I’m not proud of it - but she was so enraged, I feared for my own safety. There was a struggle and then I kicked her out of my car. If something happened to her after that, it’s not on me.”

“How do you account for your blood and hairs being on her dress?” Glen asked.

“It probably happened during the struggle,” Nick answered. “I’m not denying there was a confrontation.”

“Why do you think she’d identify you as her attacker if someone else put her in hospital?” Glen continued.

“I don’t really know, she was probably angry at me for how it went and saw it as an opportunity to get back at me,” Nick said.

“So you would describe Ms. Beyrand as vindictive?” Glen went on.

“Objection,” Bill called out.

“Sustained,” Judge Walsh agreed. “Counsel, keep your questions to what happened.”

“Of course, your honor,” Glen conceded. “As it happens, I have no further questions.”

He returned to his seat. Bill leaned over to you.

“You got this?” he whispered.

“I got this,” you shot back, standing up.

You strode over to the witness stand.

“Mr. Sully, how much can you bench press?” you asked.

“Objection!” Glen cried. “Relevance!”

“Counsel,” Judge Walsh said to you. “Are you going somewhere with this?”

“I am, your honor, you’ll see,” you said.

“Overruled,” he said to Glen. Then he looked at you. “Don’t take too long.”

You nodded, then turned your attention back to Nick. “So? How much?”

He looked you up and down, a cocksure smirk on his lips. “About two of you.”

“I see,” you said with a grin. “And you’re a professional kickboxer, right?”

“I am,” he told you, straightening up a little taller.

“Think you could take on your lawyer?” you asked. “He’s a pretty big guy. Fit. Strong.”

“Oh, yeah, he’d be no problem,” he replied.

“And what about my co-counsel?” you asked. “He’s about your size.”

“Also no problem,” he said confidently, glancing at Bill. “It’s easy when you’re up against someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing.”

You heard Glen let out a quiet groan from behind you. You bit back a smirk.

“And you expect them,” you pointed to the jury. “To believe that you feared for your safety because of that little woman?” You pointed to Dominique.

Nick realized his mistake and the color drained from his face.

“I - well - hold on - it wasn’t -”

“Don’t bother answering, Mr. Sully, that last one was rhetorical,” you said. “No further questions.”

You turned on your heel to head back to your seat, but froze. In the aisle, between the rows of observers, stood a little boy. He was the spitting image of Roger, only with one distinction. He had your eyes. In your heart, you knew him. Only, you weren’t sure how you knew him. You stared at him, and he grinned back.

“Miss Y/L/N?” Judge Walsh’s voice took you out of your trance and the little boy vanished. “Miss Y/L/N, are you alright?”

You shook your head to clear it. You went to your seat and looked at him.

“Yes, your honor, I’m fine,” you replied, cheeks reddening as you felt the whole courtroom’s eyes on you. “Just...I thought I saw someone.”

His expression showed just how much he was questioning your sanity. The defense had no other witnesses to call, so you were released for a fifteen minute recess. You retired to the same chambers you had the day before.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Roger asked. “What happened in there?”

You found yourself embarrassed to say. You didn’t want to seem crazy. But you were also with people you trusted.

“None of you saw the little boy?” you asked, looking at each of them.

“What little boy?” Dominique wondered.

“The boy!” you insisted. “He stood right in the aisle. He just stood there and then he...he…” you trailed off.

“He what?” Bill pressed.

“He vanished,” you admitted.

“Are you hallucinating?” he wondered.

“I - well - maybe!” you cried. “I dunno! But I saw him!”

“Okay, we don’t really have time to unpack this,” Dominique said. “Bill, are there any changes you’d like to make to your closing?”

He started describing what he wanted add, but you didn’t hear it. Roger’s eyes were trained on you. He was concerned, but you didn’t notice him either. You couldn’t stop thinking about that boy. Then you remembered the laugh you heard in your office. Were you going insane?

You shook your head again and focused on Bill. Before you knew it, it was time to return. Glen did his closing first.

“What you’re looking at here is a classic case of he said she said,” he began. “No one is denying that a physical altercation took place between Ms. Beyrand and Mr. Sully. What is in question is how much damage Mr. Sully actually inflicted. Did Mr. Sully strike her? Yes. But in defense of himself. Are we really so old fashioned that we believe a man can’t be abused by a woman? That a man can’t fear what a woman might do to him? Let’s not hold Ms. Beyrand to a double standard which only puts men at risk. She led him on, there was a misunderstanding, and that’s what happened. If someone else attacked Ms. Beyrand after her altercation with my client, then that’s somebody else’s business. But what you all need to understand is this: Mr. Sully defended himself from a person who was attacking him. And if you imprison him for it, we are heading down a very slippery slope.”

With that, he went to his seat. Bill got to his feet and walked over to the jury.

“Ladies and gentlemen, say it with me,” he began.

“Please,” the jury echoed back to him.

“Counsel!” Judge Walsh scolded. “The jury is to listen, not interact.”

“Certainly,” Bill agreed. He turned back to them. “The facts of this case are simple. You heard them from the doctors, the police officers, and from the victim herself. You saw the photos. The impression of the car door against her scalp. It’s not a case of he said she said because what she said is backed by evidence. All of which points to Mr. Sully violently assaulting Ms. Beyrand because she refused to have sex with him. As a society, we like to say that women have the right to say no. But they don’t, do they? Because look at what happens when they do. Dominique Beyrand was nearly killed for it. Thousands of women every year are not as fortunate to be able to take a shot at justice. And that’s what we’re looking for here. You have the facts before you. We’ve presented them clear as crystal. Now, it’s your turn to deliver justice. Not just for Dominique Beyrand. But for your mothers, sisters, and daughters. For every woman - every person, even - who has a right to say who puts their hands on their bodies. Justice. That’s all we’re asking for.”

With that, it was over. The jury went to deliberate.

“This could be a while, right?” Dominique asked as you headed out to the lobby.

“Yeah, it could be a few hours,” you told her. “But if they’re sensible, it shouldn’t take more than a couple hours.”

“Well, Roger and I wanted to thank you for all you two have done,” she replied. “By having you over for dinner.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you said, touched. “It’s our job, and we’re glad to help you.”

“I know, but we appreciate it,” she said.

“Plus, we have an ulterior motive,” Roger added. “We’ve got to decorate the house for Christmas, and we could use the extra hands.”

It hit you suddenly that it was December. Christmas was in just a few weeks. You had been so busy with this case and your own thoughts that you’d forgotten.

“It would mean a lot to us,” Dominique said. “And to the kids.”

You and Bill looked at each other and nodded.

“We’ll come,” you said.

Verity was thrilled to see everyone when you arrived at Roger’s house. Roger told her you were all going to decorate, and she agreed to help. So, she got the children.

Felix was excited to see you again and he quickly warmed up to Bill. Rory was entirely a mommy’s girl. Even though she could teeter around, she got fussy if she wasn’t in Dominique’s arms. You had never seen Bill look so soft as he watched Dominique with her daughter.

You all worked together to unpack the decorations and begin hanging them. They didn’t have a tree yet, but Roger assured you they would get one in another week. That way it would stay fresh. Dominique put on a Bing Crosby Christmas record and you all got to work. You were putting the stockings on the mantle when Roger approached you.

“Did you really see a little boy in the courtroom today?” he asked. “He looked real?”

“Yeah,” you said somberly. “It’s got me a bit frightened. He looked so solid. Very real.”

“But he vanished?” he questioned.

You nodded. “He did.”

“What did he look like?” he wondered.

“Quite a bit like you, actually,” you told him. “I dunno, maybe I’m cracking up after everything we’ve been going through.”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t blame you in the slightest.”

You smiled at each other and finished the stockings. He helped you string lights around the garland and then place it on the mantle as well. Dom had a collection of Father Christmases that she put along the beam to keep the garland in place. It looked beautiful.

Then you and Roger helped hang wreaths. Felix wanted to help so Roger hoisted him onto his shoulders. The boy giggled with delight. The sound made you stiffen. It was so like the laugh you heard in your office that morning.

“Y/N?” Roger asked, looking curiously at you. “You alright?”

You nodded, clearing your throat. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just anxious about this verdict.”

“Don’t worry too much,” he said. “Whatever happens now isn’t in your control.”

You nodded again, and he handed Felix a ribbon to tie around the wreath. You jumped in and showed Felix how to tie a pretty bow, then let him try it on his own. It was sloppy, but you left it to show you were proud of him.

“Look, Mum, I made a bow!” he called to Dominique.

“And what a beautiful bow it is, darling!” she praised, beaming at him.

“Well, done, Felix!” Roger added.

You high fived him as well and he looked most pleased with himself.

Decorating was a welcome distraction from your worries. In a way, it felt like you were celebrating that you all had done this in the first place. You made it to trial, you tried an excellent case, and whatever way the jury decided, you were happy to have done your part for Dominique. She was glowing as she looked around at her friends and family. If not for the scar poking out from her hairline, you might not have thought anything happened to her at all.

At one point, Roger handed Felix some mistletoe and walked over to you.

“Oh!” he cried dramatically, earning more giggles from his son. “Looks like we ran into each other under the mistletoe. You know what that means.”

He winked as you rolled your eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, though.

“You are such an idiot,” you teased.

“Well, you owe this idiot a kiss,” he returned.

With a laugh, you obliged, leaning over to peck him on the lips.

Everyone laughed, sang, and got covered in glitter and pine needles as the house turned into a Christmas winter wonderland. You finally felt the spirit of the holiday. You were almost sad when it was completed because you were having such a wonderful time.

Luckily, the evening wasn’t over. Roger and Dom still wanted to make dinner, so you all herded into the kitchen. You took Rory and Felix crawled into Bill’s lap while the former couple got to work. Felix was animatedly talking to Bill about all the things he was asking Santa for, but Rory’s energy had depleted. She rested her head against your chest and closed her droopy eyes.

“This baby is tired,” you remarked, smiling.

“Well, she’ll eat a bit before we put her to bed,” Dominique said.

The children were fed first, with some assistance from you and Bill. Felix was truly taking advantage of all the attention he was getting. Rory was just tired and a little fussy. When they were done, Bill and Dom went to put them to bed. You and Roger started to prepare the wine.

“Y/N, I wanted to tell you just how much last night meant to me,” he said as you placed four glasses on the counter. “I really think things are just working out.”

“I do too,” you agreed with a grin. “Last night was incredible and it reassured me that we were meant to find each other again.”

He smiled and kissed you sweetly.

“I also wanted to thank you again for taking this case,” he said. “No matter what happens, we are so grateful for everything.”

“Roger, please, we are just happy you trust us enough,” you told him. “Bill and I adore you and Dom. We’re your friends. And I think after tonight….we’re all kind of family.”

“A weird family,” he joked.

“But a family all the same,” you insisted.

He kissed you again, and in it, you felt that he shared the sentiment.

Bill and Dominique returned, laughing softly together. You handed them each a glass of the freshly poured wine.

“They go down okay?” you asked.

“Perfectly,” Dominique said. “Felix always acts like he’s not sleepy, but the second his head hits the pillow, out go the lights.”

“Sounds like Roger,” you teased.

“I know, right?!” Dominique agreed.

You all chuckled. As Roger began retrieving things from the fridge for dinner, the phone rang. Verity picked it up on her way into the kitchen. You watched her expression shift to concern.

“Y/N, it’s for you,” she said. “It’s your assistant.”

You swept over to her and took the receiver.

“Jane, what is it?” you asked.

“The jury’s back,” she said. “You’ve got to get to court.”

Your stomach dropped. “Thanks, we’ll be right there.”

You hung up. All eyes were on you. Bill looked at you with understanding.

“The jury’s back,” he said, not having to guess.

You nodded.

“Dinner will have to wait,” Roger said. “Let’s go.”

You all rushed to grab your things and headed back into town.

The courtroom was empty now that it was late. Roger was the only person in the audience. You arrived after Glen and Nick were already seated. You noticed him and Roger exchange glares.

You all stood when Judge Walsh entered and took his seat. Glen and Nick remained standing while the jury filed in. Once all the formalities were taken care of, Judge Walsh looked at the jury.

“Have you reached a verdict?” he asked.

The foreman - who was actually a woman - stood up.

“We have, your honor,” she said.

“What say you?”

She unfolded the paper in her hand. You watched with bated breath. This was it. Had you done enough?

“In the matter of the people versus Sully, we the jury find the defendant, Nicholas David Sully, guilty…”

You didn’t hear the rest. You looked over at Dominique, but her face was already buried in Bill’s chest, and his arms were around her. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs. You turned around to see Roger, head in his hands, absolutely frozen.

“Members of the jury, thank you for your service,” Judge Walsh said. “This court is adjourned.”

He slammed his gavel, and it felt like a wake up call. A burst of joy shot through you and you jumped out of your seat to hug Roger. He welcomed you into his arms as you embraced over the wall between you.

You felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned to see Dominique, tears and makeup streaming down her cheeks, but the widest grin you had ever seen on her face.

“Thank you,” she choked out.

Your own eyes welled up with tears. You didn’t have words, so you pulled her into the hug. You yanked Bill in as well, and the four of you stood there, relieved and victorious. The sentencing would be in a few weeks, but you were already over the biggest hurdle. You felt a little bit of pride in yourself. It was your first ever criminal conviction.

“How about we celebrate?” Bill suggested. “Let’s have a drink at the bar before we go back for dinner?”

“That sounds perfect,” Dominique said.

She took his hand. You took Roger’s. All of you headed out to the bar. A few of your coworkers - including Jane - were already there, so you told them the good news. There was champagne to go around. You hardly drank any. You were too busy dancing with Roger. Dinner was forgotten. The whole evening was spent at the bar, toasting, dancing, and being with the person you loved more than life itself - Roger Meddows Taylor.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x you #Queen #queen imagine #queen x reader #queen x you #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #BoRhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #just like a woman series

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

Text

Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 12 Mukami Ruki [TRACK 5]

Original title: 再逢の夜明け

Source: Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 12 Mukami Ruki [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Takahiro Sakurai

Translator’s note: Guys I may have gotten diabetes from this CD like GODDAMN. I’m a sucker for fluff and cute stuff, but what happened to the concept of sadistic Vampires? xD Ruki’s such a sweatheart in this, I feel like my image of men is forever ruined now and I’m never gonna find a guy who is this much of a gentleman in real life. Oh well, guess I’ll just marry my 2D husbands instead.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

Track 5: The Dawn of the Reunion

“Nn...Ah? Where are...? The castle’s kitchen again, huh? The dizzy spells and headache have magically disappeared though...”

You wake up.

“You’ve awakened as well. ...You remember? You mean...You’ve regained your memories!? No way...I can’t believe it...How!? This seems too sudden...! No, nevermind. That doesn’t matter. ...You know who I am, right?”

You nod.

“In that case, please...say my name.”

You call his name.

“Ah...Haah...I’ve been dying to see that smile of yours...”

Ruki embraces you.

“...I had mentally prepared myself, to never hear my name fall from your lips ever again.”

You say sorry.

“Apologies again? Honestly, you’re so...That’s unnecessary right now. If I could, I wish I could open up my chest, to show you just how fulfilled my heart feels right now.”

You smile.

“I’d love to hold you close (1), but I want to take a good look at your face as well. It’s a shame I can’t accomplish both at the same time.”

You agree.

“I see. So you feel the same? Even though you were by my side this whole time, it feels as if we were apart for a long time. I’m sure this sounds strange but...I missed (2) you.”

You tell him everything will be okay now.

“Yeah. I’m so glad you were able to come back.”

Ruki gazes out of the window.

“...Oh? Take a look. The sun is rising. Every night comes to an end. (3) It’s a cliched metaphor, but I believe there isn’t a more adequate saying to describe this current moment. Furthermore, this might be the first time I’ve seen such a beautiful dawn...”

The two of you stare at the daybreak.

*TIMESKIP*

*Cling*

“This sweet fragrance...The dessert you mentioned before? Come to think of it, we never got a chance to eat it back then. You went through the trouble to make it, so let me have a taste.”

*Nom nom*

“Mm...! It’s rather delicious. It definitely goes well with the tea. Several days have passed since then, but how are you feeling?”

You tell him you’re fine.

“I see. I’m glad you don’t seem to be experiencing any after-effects.”

You take a seat.

“We’re having a beautiful moon tonight. How about we step outside on the terrace?”

You seem reluctant.

“No need to be afraid. Tonight’s moon is not a paraselene. That being said, after everything that happened, I suppose I can’t blame you. Everything is my fault for failing to judge the situation adequately.”

You shake your head.

“No. That was my blunder. That day, I failed to recognize the paraselene from behind the window. And so, you ended up falling ill.”

You tell him everything turned out fine in the end.

“Yes, it truly is a blessing you were able to recover. I looked at the written records once again and just as I expected, there is no guaranteed, effective treatment for the paraselene syndrome yet.

I believe that your personal strength is what allowed you to overcome the disease in such a short period of time. Despite having lost your memories, you grasped the situation adequately, overcame your fear and even accepted me. I’m sure that this mental strength of yours, refusing to crumble even underneath the disease, is what eventually crushed the syndrome.”

You disagree.

“Heh? Then how do you think you overcame the syndrome?”

You explain.

“In that case, it would mean the paraselene syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. Even if you were unable to retrieve your memories and continued to fear me, my feelings towards you would have not changed one bit.”

Ruki scoots closer.

“I was once again reminded of how much you mean to me. (4) No matter what happens, I will never be able to give you up. In that regard, I may have let my emotions sway my decisions. I deeply regret that. I was convinced you would fear me if I told you that I’m a Vampire. However, looking back at it now, I was the one who was the most afraid. I did not want you to look at me with fear-filled eyes. I was terrified of being rejected by you. I was...unable to control the fear within my own heart, and tried to make myself believe I was doing it for your sake instead, making a huge blunder. If it wasn’t for your strength, we might have still been wandering inside that illusion right now.”

You offer your own insights.

“Our mutual feelings...defeated the disease, you say? ...Let’s leave it at that. Nobody knows the truth, but that way makes me feel better as well.”

*Smooch*

“Well then...”

He leans in.

“We’ve finished our dessert, so you don’t mind if I continue where we left things off, right?”

You frown.

“I won’t let you say you forgot. How this soft neck of yours...accepted my fangs that day. I only put it on hold because you wanted to have dessert so badly. We had to take quite the detour to get to this point, but I believe your wish has been granted now?”

You nod.

“Honestly...Why do you always react in these unexpected ways? No matter how much time passed...Even if you were to forget everything, you never change. I love that strength and stability of yours from the bottom of my heart.”

You say his name.

“What a sweet voice...Do you really think I’d be able to hold back if you call my name so lovingly? ...Come on, give in already and accept my love.”

Ruki bites you.

*Gulp*

“Mm...”

*Smooch*

“The more I tease you...The sweeter it tastes...”

You get flustered.

“Hmph. Seems like you feel quite good as well. If I get to see this kind of expression from you, I suppose keeping you waiting every once in a while might be worth it.

...Well then, I’ll suck from the other side next.”

He bites you again.

*Sluuuuurp*

“Mmh...Haah...Not a bad reaction. Give me more...I want more of you. ...The scent of your blood suddenly got stronger. What’s the matter? I have not done anything yet. What were you imagining?”

You refuse to say.

“If it’s too embarrassing, want to stop here?”

You shake your head.

“Heh. You don’t want to embarrass yourself, but you don’t want to stop either? What a selfish little princess. However, I must be seriously ill as well, finding pleasure in being pushed around by your selfishness.”

You beg for more.

“Yeah...Rest assured. Just as you wish, I’ll give you more. I won’t let you go tonight. I’ll teach you thoroughly that you belong to me and at the same time...I’ll be reminded that I am yours as well. My one and only...beloved Eve.”

*Smooch*

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says ‘I want to touch you without leaving any gaps/space in between (our bodies)’.

(2) The phrase 会いたかった or ‘aitakatta’ which literally means ‘I wanted to see/meet you’ is often translates as ‘I missed you’ in English instead.

(3) In Japanese, the phrase 明けない夜はない or ‘akenai yoru wa nai’ is often used as a way to install hope. It means that no matter how bad the situation may seem, there is always some hope left.

(4) Literally he says ‘how deeply obsessed I am with you’ but that sounded a little creepy rather than romantic, so I went with a softer translation.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ruki mukami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers paraselene #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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nightkitchentarot · 3 years ago

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The Secret Of The Quiet Mind

FROM THE ATLANTIC -- JUNE 17, 2021

I Know the Secret to the Quiet Mind. I Wish I’d Never Learned It.

Of all the injuries we suffered, mine is the worst. My brain injury has shaken my confidence in my own personality, my own existence.

By Hana Schank

The worst things can happen on the most beautiful days. My family’s worst day was a perfect one in the summer of 2019. We picked my daughter up from camp and talked about where to go for lunch: the diner or the burger place. I don’t remember which we chose. What I do remember: being woken up, again and again, by doctors who insist on asking me the same questions—my name, where I am, what month it is—and telling me the same story, a story that I am sure is wrong.

“You were in a car accident,” they say. But this cannot be. We’re having lunch and then going on a hike. I had promised the think tank where I work that I’d call in to a 4 p.m. meeting.

“You are in Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital in New Hampshire.” Another ludicrous statement. I started the day in Vermont. Surely if I had crossed the river to New Hampshire I would know it.

“What’s your name?” they ask me, and I tell them and tell them and tell them.

“Where are you?” “New Hampshire,” I say, except for one time when I say “Vermont.” “New Hampshire,” they correct, and I want to say, “Really, we are so close to the border here, can’t you just give it to me this once?”

“You were in a car accident,” they tell me again. “Your husband broke his leg and your son broke his collarbone.” These do not seem like horrible injuries, so I am waiting for the worse news, the news that my daughter is dead. She is the youngest and the smallest. She was born with albinism, and her existence has always felt improbable, and so now it must be over.

But—thank God—it’s not. “Your daughter has fractures in her spine and damage to her lower intestine from the seat belt.” They tell me that my lower intestine was also injured, and that I’ve had surgery. I lift up my hospital gown and am surprised to see an angry red line and industrial-size staples. I remember an article I’d read about seat belts not being designed for women, and I ask the doctor if he sees more women with these injuries than men. I have yet to take in the reality of what has happened to me, to my family. Instead I am thinking about writing an exposé about the sexist seat-belt industry.

They wake me up and ask me where I am and what my name is. A doctor asks me who the president is. “I don’t want to say,” I reply. He smiles. I am at Dartmouth for three days before I am transferred to the University of Vermont, where my husband and children are. The days pass like minutes, a loop of sleep interrupted by people asking me questions and telling me terrible things.

One of the things I am told is that I have a brain bleed and a traumatic brain injury. I wonder if this is why I am slurring my words, but am told that the slurring is from the anti-seizure medication I am on. This sounds good. The slurring will stop. A doctor tells me I “got my bell rung.” This is a bad analogy. Bell clappers are meant to slam against the side of the bell. The brain is not meant to slam against the side of the skull.

Of all the injuries my family is suffering from, mine is the worst. This is my totally biased opinion. My husband’s leg will take almost a year to heal. My daughter would have died if not for the surgery to repair her flayed abdomen. She is 10, and one of her friends tells her that because of the scar she will never be able to wear a bikini. She spends many days attempting to suss out whether she cares. She doesn’t yet know if she is the bikini-wearing type.

My 13-year-old son is the only one who remembers the accident. He remembers a woman in a ponytail calling 911, the smell of gasoline and burnt metal. He remembers his father yelling “Jesus Christ.” He will have to live with the memory of his sister looking at my body and asking, “Is Mama dead?”

These are terrible injuries, and yet, the other members of my family don’t walk around thinking, Am I still me? My brain injury has shaken my confidence in my own personality, my own existence. This is the worst injury.

When we leave the hospital and move into a hotel, I frequently get lost in the hallway. The first time I roll into occupational therapy with my walker, I am grateful for the obvious signage pointing me toward the check-in desk. It’s almost as though the clinic is expecting people with brain damage.

My therapist is a smiling, 40-something woman with dirty-blond hair. She reminds me of me before the accident. She asks if I am having any thinking problems or memory problems. I tell her about an incident with Parmesan cheese.

“Can you get the Parmesan?” my husband asked.

I opened the fridge and looked. I looked and looked.

“I can’t find it,” I said with a shrug.

My son opened the fridge and pulled out a block of Parmesan.

It hadn’t occurred to me that this was a brain issue. Sometimes you just can’t find the Parmesan. Right?

A test confirms that I have trouble scanning a visual field for objects. My brain is struggling to recognize what I see, but without a pre-accident baseline to judge from, there is no way to know how much worse I am at it now. Have I always been bad at finding things? Maybe? There are limits to how well an injured brain can scrutinize an injured brain.

I have other visual-processing issues. At first I can’t watch television because my brain is unable to merge the images from my two eyes, so I see doubles of everything—two Phoebes, two Chandlers. I can watch with one eye closed, but I’m distracted, seething at my brain for failing to do such a simple task.

In one session, the therapist tells me we are going to play a game. She pulls out a deck of cards and asks me to turn cards over while saying the number or the color or the suit. The game is so difficult, I want to physically remove my brain from my skull and hurl it against a wall. I will never play this game again as long as I live.

Eventually I graduate from occupational therapy. But occupational therapy isn’t about getting people back on their feet so they can return to think tanks. It is about making sure they can run errands without getting lost. I am someone who has always taken pride in my intelligence, and now I am not so smart. I am just a functional human being, according to occupational therapy.

When we go out in public as a family, we are a walking nightmare. “Wow,” a stranger says, marveling at the device that is bolted into my husband’s femur. And then my son appears with his arm in a sling, my daughter limps over in her back brace. An injured couple is potentially funny. There is nothing funny about an injured family. “What happened to you guys?”

When we tell the story, we explain that we were in no way at fault, which feels important. We wore our seat belts and drove the speed limit and the weather wasn’t bad and yet this happened to us. Someone was driving a pickup truck in the opposite direction. He was late to a job interview or to get his kid, or maybe he was just antsy. In front of him was a motorcycle slowing him down. Maybe he’d been behind that motorcycle for miles. Maybe he liked to take risks. He pulled into our lane and passed the motorcycle while going up a hill at 70 miles per hour. I don’t know who makes this kind of decision. Did he think, I can’t believe I did something this stupid? Did he also yell “Jesus Christ”?

Because we are not at fault, accident feels like the wrong word. Not just wrong, but unfair. My husband starts calling it the incident, but an incident is a small thing, not something that scars you for life. The smashing? The destruction? Newbury, after the town where it occurred? The only thing that comes close is the devastation.

The devastated me is different. My brain used to race, making lists and plans, skipping from an article I was researching to whether my kids were in appropriate after-school programs to what vacation we should take in February. Now it does none of that. There are no plans to make.

A few days after regaining consciousness, I check my Twitter feed. I have always been a news junkie. But I have missed nothing. The news seems to be not just familiar but actually repeating itself. Something bonkers happened in the White House. People are dying in a country I’ve never been to. A company did something possibly illegal. There was a house fire in the Bronx. Are these the things I used to care about?

The most interesting piece of news is the one I am experiencing. In the hospital we are waiting to make sure my daughter can poop through her reconstructed colon. This article isn’t in The New York Times.

When we return to New York I take the subway to doctor appointments. I don’t take out my phone, I just sit. My brain is quiet, which I find suspicious, but also soothing. Before the accident I went to yoga retreats and tried meditation. I said things like “I just need to unplug.” Apparently what I needed was to get hit by a truck. Perhaps I have discovered the secret to a peaceful mind, and it is traumatic brain injury. I fantasize about opening an expensive spa where busy people pay me money to whack them on the head with a baseball bat.

The day of the accident I had been working on a project to improve how homeless people are placed into shelters. I say out loud, “I don’t care about homeless people” to see how it feels. It doesn’t ring true; I do care about homeless people. I just don’t feel like working. I have always been a regular exerciser. Now I can’t imagine wanting to do a burpee, let alone 10 of them. I always ate healthy things. But did you know that you can eat whole grains and still get hit by a truck?

I have strange cravings. I think about apple cider all the time. Apple cider is not a normal part of my diet. I have a very detailed dream about eating chocolate cake. I eat the cake. That’s the entire dream. I find myself foraging in the fridge for flavors that don’t exist.

I don’t know which symptoms are permanent and which are temporary. At first, the doctors say that after a year or two I’m likely to have a full return to my normal brain function. Or not. They don’t really know about the brain. It might be more like 95 percent. If I broke my elbow and someone told me I’d get 95 percent of my elbow function back, I’d be satisfied. But 95 percent of my brain function sounds terrifying. Which pieces will be missing?

Some days I feel like myself. Other days all I can think about is the old life that is gone. Then, halfway through my recuperation, the coronavirus comes. The stores close, the schools close, the traffic on the avenue dwindles to a sporadic whoosh. And my busy friends who were always texting me about their crazy schedules are suddenly as quiet as I am. Together we wait for normal to return. The difference is that they know what normal looks like.

In July it will be two years since the accident. The world is now coming back to life, my days slowly filling up with work and chores and exercise. Soon I will go back to in-person meetings and travel, and I wonder: Will I be up to the challenge? Or will I get lost in office buildings and airports?

For now, in this liminal space between the old life and the new one, I often catch myself staring at my children. They have never been more beautiful. I chalk this up to the magic of braces––their teeth are finally coming into alignment––but I know this is ridiculous. They are beautiful because they are alive. I look at them, and I sit with the silence. Today, it is mine. Tomorrow, it may not be.

#brain injury #savor your life #hana schank

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demivampirew · 4 years ago

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Keep Calm and go to London chapter 17

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (smut)

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (smut)

Chapter 8 (smut/roleplay)

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13

Chapter 14 (smut)

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 (smut/ s&m)

Triggers: Crying; talking about depression, low self-steem and body image issues; talking about toxic relationships.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185

Henry was playing games while you played with Kal, making the little bear follow you around the house. It surprise you the amound of energy that the puppy had. While running, you got caught in the the door knob of one bedroom and ripped the t-shirt you were wearing, living a little hole in it. You cursed because that was one of your boyfriend's t-shirts. You were in trouble, for sure. You put your best sad kitty face and went to Henry to tell him about the t-shirt. He was sitting on the couch with his laptop and closed it after you sat next to him, pointing out that you have something to confess. He put his whole attention on you as you showed him his peace of clothing and apologized, assuring him that you'd tried to fix it. He looked at you with a cute smile and told you that was ok. He was not mad at you at all, "it's just a t-shirt" he said and gave you a kiss on the cheeks to make you feel better and proved to you that he wasn't angry at all. You hugged him and kissed him. He was the best. - I'm still sorry, though. I know you love this t-shirt.- you apologized once again. - It's kind of special.- he admitted. - Where did you bought it? I can replace it, I'll buy you the exact same one if I find it. - I didn't bought it; it was a gift. - From Charlie? Maybe I could send him a direct message in Instagram and ask him where he bought it. I will ask you his phone number, but we haven't officially met yet so he might find it weird if I text him. - No, it wasn't Charlie.- he answered and then took a deep breath before speaking again.- An ex-girlfriend gave it to me for a birthday. - Oh, I see.- you replied and went silent for a moment. - Was it Lucy? You questioned curiously. He raise an eyebrow and looked at you. - No, not her. - he said with a suspious tone. - Tara, Gina? -you asked again. -Sorry, I'm really curious - you said smiling - Tara. - he informed you - Wait, how do you know my exs's names? I never said her names to you? - he pointed out and you blushed of embarresment. "shit" you thought. - Have you been googling me by any chance? - I had to make sure you were not a serial killer - you joked, making an "ops" face. - I'm curious. I wanted to know how were the girls that you dated before me. - That's ok. I must admit that I googled you as well. - And what did you found out about me? - you were dying to know - That you have more money than me; that you're on the top 20 of Forbes lists of most influencial people; that people adore you on the internet. Basically, that you're ten times more amazing that I thought. Oh, I also found out that you have a college degree from Harvard. - Yep. While it cost me a lot. I practically did not sleep for like 5 years - you joked. It was kind of true, though. - Did you not expected you girlfriend to be the kind of person who goes to college? - I didn't imagine that giving all the work that you've done in your long career you'd had found to study for a degree. - he explained - I'm awesome - you said proudly - Giving my impressive career and my high grades in highschool, I was accepted at Harvard. I had to arrenge a few things to make the time, but I reached my goal. So, now you're in front of a Master of Arts and Doctor of Philosophy. - My baby is smart, damn! - he replied proudly. You gave him the brightest smile. - I found out that you were enganged once.- you continue the topic discused before. - Yes. It didn't work out, though. - Yes, I figured that out. Otherwise, it'd be an interesting situation the one that we're in right now. - Yes, it'd be for sure- he admited while laughing for your comment. - Do you missed them? - you questioned. He gave you a look, trying to see what you expected of him by those weird questions. - Come on, I know that you have a past. I have one too. I won't judge you. I just want to know how you feel about them. Do you still care for them? - Yes. - he admited.- But I don't do it in a romantic way. They were people important to me. Now they're part of my past, but I still want them to be happy. Sometimes I missed them a bit, more nostalgia for the good memories than anything, but I wouldn't go back with any of them, especially since I've met you. Now, I only have eyes for you. - he assured you, kissing your hand. - I understand.- you say smiling.- I still miss Jared sometimes. Like you said, I don't want to be with him at all and I only have eyes for you, but he was a great part of my life. He was the first man I've been with and, until you showed up in my life, he was the only one. - you confessed. You've talked before about having intimacy with few men, but never actually told him that was actually only one man before him. He looked at you surprise. - You are telling me that you only been intimate with two men and I'm one of them? -he asked you, speechless. - Yes. Before Jared I was afraid of being intimate with someone because I've always had body image issues. I didn't felt comfortable with my body and didn't want anybody to see me naked. When I started to date him, I wasn't ready to sleep with him and he respected that. He actually waited a whole year for me to finally be ready to have sex. I think that was another reason why even though it was clear he was not a good boyfriend, I stood with him. I always remembered that he promised to be patient and wait and not force me and he kept his word. After our first breakup, I was in that angry stage of "I hate all men", then soon enough I went to the "I don't hate men, but I don't have time to date either" I concentrated in study and work. Then, when I got back together with him, at first we'd had sex all the time, because despite the fact that I took care of my own pleasure during my time alone, I enjoyed to be intimate with another person that I cared about. But soon enough, things started to go South for us, and we barely had sex or was boring sex and I did most of the work. On one occasion, after a month of not doing it because he was working in his latest album, I put on a sexy lingerie and try to seduce him and he completely ignored me, like I wasn't even there. That broke me. By that point, I was already having body issues again, but that finally got to me and, until I met you, never again felt confident with my body or felt sexy. Knowing that a man like you was interested on me, made me feel great and then my confident side came back to me. - you explain, smiling at him. He kissed your hand again. - You know, I used to like him. I've met him twice and seemed like a nice guy. Now, I kind of want to punch him for hurting you. - He didn't do it un purpose, though. I know, so typical of me to deffend him, but that's true. I've known him for a long time. We were friends before and went through difficult times together until one day our friendship turned into something else. But now, I think those hard times we went through and that we've been surporting each other is the reason why he wanted to be with me. Why everytime we fought and I said that I was leaving he'd beg me to stay... because he knew that not matter what, he could count on me to be there for him. He clearly lost all the love and desire that he once felt for me, on the last period of our relationship I was just his support system; the one person he could count to help him when he need it. He's not a bad guy, but he was selfish. He concentrated on his needs and did not think on what I need it or what was the best for me. When I was diagnosed with major depression last year and was on those periods in which I would cry for entire days, for the first time in our entire relationship, he cancel a few plans to stay with me and hold me while I cried. But he didn't do it for love, no; he did it because he felt guilty. At that moment, he realized that he probably should have let me go, but he couldn't do that. As much as he'd love to have his single life back, he wanted me to be there for him, but he also knew that as soon as I walked out of the door, he would never see me again. So he kept me, unhappy and miserable until I finally realized myself from that toxic life I was living. - you finished and looked at your boyfriend's eyes. Henry was stroking your face and your hair. He looked worried and sad for hearing all you went through. - Your ex girlfriends were lucky. - you told him smiling - They had you. - I'm not perfect. I made mistakes as well, but I always try to look after their needs as well as mine. - That sounds like perfect to me. Perfection is not about not making mistakes, but recognize that you make them and try to correct them. Is not bad to look after your needs, we all need that, it's part of loving yourself, but, in a relationship, you have to care for your partner's needs as well. So yeah, you're the perfect boyfriend.- you assured him and he smiled. - I've seen photos of them and I must admit they're pretty, at least base on looks. The blonde one, Tara, if it wasn't weird, I'd totally high-five you for getting that chick. Even I must admit that she's hot. Although, I'm hotter than her.- you smile devilishly. - One houndred percent, baby. - he agreed. - They must have been really special to you. All of them. I saw the pictures. You'd take them with you to premieres and be by their sides, looking at them with proud. You'd post pictures or videos of them, and even if you're not longer together, you never deleted those things. That proved that they were special to you. I'm really jealous of them. - you admited - Not jealous because they were with you, like I said before, I know you have your past and that's ok, the important is that you're mine now. I'm jealous because I would have loved to be with someone that did those things for me. I'd had been great if my ex took me with him to an event or came with me to one of my premieres or award shows. Or took my hand in public. When I won my last two Oscars, he was there, but he didn't sat with me. I had to hug a friend to celebrate the fact that I won. You didn't get mad at them and ignored them for suggesting going out and getting caught by paparazzi. You would not tell them that you could spend time with them or have sex due to the lack of time and the hang out with your friends and former lovers instead. Why I could not have their luck once? Just once I'd love to know how it feels to be with someone who would proudly walk with me, go out with me or take me to places, happy to know that I'm by his side. Just one time I'd like to know who it feels not to be scared that your partner is going to be mad if someone for being seen together or acted as if he'd ashame and embarrased if people knew we're together, as if he could do so much better than you... just once I'd like to know how that feels. - you said and could not stop the tears. The tears covered your eyes and cheeks. The lump in your throat hurt badly. Henry grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer, making you rest your head on his chest as he stroked your face and hair. He knew that you needed to let go of your tears in order to feel better. He promesed you would heal. He'd make sure that your future is bright and full of smiles instead of tears.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #demivampirew

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goodguydotmp3 · 4 years ago

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1) Hi, I just came across your post on Harry & although we are looking at him differently i absolutely agree with you on alot of what you say. I never was a 1D fan, I worked for an arena & was lucky enough back in those days to see 1000's of concerts. I remember thinking 1D was awful. 12 months ago now I fell down the rabbit hole with Harry. I can't say i'm a fan because I only like a combination of his songs from both albums, which I listen to often on a playlist.

2. the others I listened to once and never again. I never bothered to listen to his CALM app nor do I obsess over wanting his merch & quite frankly didn't bother to buy a ticket to see him. In fact I kinda find him a bit cringe at times on stage. However, I think he is one of the most charismatic sexiest humans on the planet. This has caused me to want to study him. A lot of what I think you actually said. He is 100% a brand.

3. He is a smart guy & i'm pretty sure a lovely person but I also think he is a shrewd businessman. He has allied himself with professionals who know how to make millions off of his brand. Classic example was the beauty pages (which I despised btw). Probably in partnership with the magazine knowing it would sell out in seconds. I'm sure him & his team are laughing all the way to the bank, and on the fans coin.

4. I could analyse as well why I think he queerbaits, which I believe he does for his image. That being said I truly think he is open to anything, he is at a level in his life that he is able to do whatever he wants. I certainly don't want to paint him as a nasty person which he certainly isn't. But again why his silence on social media ? I do think it's because he wants privacy but at the same time he could be more open to his fans if he wished.

5. Other stars do live random Instagrams with their fans. You don't have to give anything away & it wouldn't hurt him to do now & again. Yet I don't think he wants to. He did facetime interviews with DJ's in London who all happen to be his friends, but nothing to the people who give him the lifestyle he has become accustomed to.

6. There are a few things in his past that don't sit right with me & again, I don't hate him, I find him very charismatic & alluring, but I certainly don't think he is anything personally like his fans think he is. Anyways sorry for all the asks.

okay so let me just start by sating you really probably could have gotten away with just one ask but since we here let’s go.

second (okay last one fore i go in) is this a white? you can be honest. that’s not why I’m judging you I just have hunch.

Lemme just say I already can’t take you seriously if you gone sit up here and tell me wondee is awful. WHERE? Especially Four and Midnight Memories! I also can’t imagine being privileged enough to see their live performances with raw vocals repeatedly and still have the nerve to say with yo whole chest one d is awful. Especially in comparison to Harry!! Where are the vocals?? Where are the riffs??? Every time I see a solo Harry video It’s never about the amazing things he does with his voice, it’s always some joke he made, or his dancing, or how he messed up, or an outfit someone’s talking about. one time I saw where there was a difference between shows where he was louder in the latter bc of the confidence factor. Like?? Go girl Give us nothing!!!

And even with songs, you already said he ain’t all that! You already said he’s barely passable, You already know he’s not an artist so what exactly are you even holding on for?

I know you’ said he’s “the sexiest and most charismatic man on the planet” but I promise you that 1) no he’s not so don’t even lie like that 2) not even in his own band 3) not even in the music industry.

I pinky promise you there is better out there for you, hell there are better rich white man out there just waiting for you time, attention, and coin.

Rich white men who haven’t built stadiums that hurt the smaller stadium in the same town and only benefit the large artists who would be able to sell it out, who doesn’t associate with the Kardashian-Jenner clan, who are notoriously racist and elitist and make money off of doing so, white male artists who don’t travel across countries during a pandemic, seemingly doing the most to spread as many germs as possible, at a time when his home country is among the worst county handling the spread of a deadly virus.

Other white men who are just straight up not Zionists, which I feel should have been the point where people were actually upset but apparently not because I see “free Palestine” this and that but then scroll down and see his ugly mug in a closeup (and not no old “oh he looks like a baby” picture neither, one of them recent “my name is earl” lookin ass photos, posted uncritically). Other white men who don’t use a deadly global pandemic to squeeze for coin out of folx,

Other white men who aren’t okay with racism, transphobia, homophobia, Zionism, and would gladly denounce any fan who felt like that.

Other white men who aren’t just using gender ambiguity as an aesthetic, and can actually recognize and use other pronouns besides he/she when prompted.

Other white men who hire black and brown people to work with and for them, and don’t just wait until the next blm wave to try and score brownie points with prominent (white approved) black people. Other white men Who don’t take that amazon money! Other white men who don’t buy your data to make more money! Side note please tell me we’re all still pissed about that???

Harry Styles is a Nasty Bitxh and will do anything to get what he truly wants: money and fame. If you can stan a husk of a man because you think he looks pretty and his scripted remarks from some of the best pr managers money can buy sound real good when he says them, do you boo. But please don’t try to make excuses for this ho.

At the end of the day he might as well be Mr. Monopoly himself, and if that’s okay with you, that’s between you and your bank account, but I have to ask why you feel the need to defend him (especially seeing as he has an entire team of people to do that for him), and if all the defending is worth it. If you have to make this many allowances for him, is he really that great?

If you keep turning a blind eye, at some point you just blind.

#hazza curly mchazzerson

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