#i say this and i havent drank water once today. i should drink water | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cinnamon-bunni · 2 years ago

Text

fun fact: i wrote this all while listening to Positive ☆ Dance Time on loop :) also this fic, which i made quickly in one night, is so much better than my first chapter of my other fic (and the second one too lol) (also this was not reread even once soooo there will be mistakes but oh well <3) i also wanna say this probably takes place between chapters 3 and 4 (both i havent written yet haha ^^;) so i'll probably post this onto ao3 then. just so yall know timeline stuff lol anyways, hope y'all enjoy it <3

Word count: 1.5k Warnings: idealization of suicide

When Kim woke up, the first thing that greeted him was darkness. The second thing was a headache. A horrible way to wake up, but as something Kim was familiar with, he stopped caring.

In an attempt to sit up, his head tried to kill him. So, he went back down with a thump. And not a soft one either, since the couch–because he was on the couch, not his soft and comfortable bed–was more wood and springs rather than cushion and sponge. It made his back ache, in a way that made him want to scream. But alas, he was too tired to, and instead closed his eyes in hopes of falling back into a blissful sleep. It wasn’t going to happen, Kim knew that, but sometimes he liked to cling onto small hopes.

It was silent for a while. Kim almost believed that maybe he fell back asleep, if it weren’t for every part of his body hating him. His throat was dying for water, his head was throbbing, his skin was prickly and felt fake as it rubbed against the shitty fabric of the couch, every single one of his muscles ache, and his brain wanted to turn off and never turn back on. Maybe it would be better if it did just turn off. Then at least he wouldn’t have to deal with days like these.

Turns out, hangovers made everything about a hundred times worse. But that was Kim's fault, wasn’t it? He made that choice, and now he had to deal with it. That’s just how the world works, Kim. He could just hear his dad’s lectures in his head. It made him want to throw himself off of a cliff. And he thought about it, and it didn’t seem that bad of an idea. The world would keep moving either way, no matter if a cockroach like him was at some bar getting drunk or drowning in a river. As long as it was something that would kill the noise in his head, then he didn’t care.

The front door opened. The loud creak announced someone’s presence, and it made Kim squeeze his eyes shut. The action made his eyes hurt, yeah, but he really didn’t want the possible light to pour in and force him to face the world. He didn’t want to, not yet.

“Ji-Ho?” Oh. He didn’t even realize his sister was here. It made sense though; it wasn't like anyone else had access to his apartment. Her voice was quiet and soft, unlike her usual pissy tone she used at him.

Right. Hana. His sister who wrapped up his bloody knuckles after getting brawls or just beating the shit out of punching bags while drunk. His sister who rolled him onto his side after officially passing out. His sister who dealt with his shitty living style and shitting apartment for the summer without much complaint. His sister who always tried to make his world brighter, even if she was bad at it. His sister, who seemed to care about his well being.

Kim forced his eyes open. It was hard, but he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but light was effectively blocked out with the curtains. Some of it still snuck in from underneath the short curtains, and it hurt to look at it. He really should just get used to it by now.

“Ji-Ho.” His sister spoke louder now, probably expecting an answer. It made him wince, but look at his sister.

“What?” God, his voice was so hoarse. He really needed to get something to drink.

“Don’t you have work today?” Kim furrowed his brow. He probably did in all honesty, but that didn’t explain why he drank so much when he knew he had work. Maybe he just stopped caring. That seemed to be a recurring theme.

Oh well, wasn’t like he was gonna go now. He’d rather die than step foot into the WVBA. He didn’t even think he could take a step outside of his apartment, much less get in a good set of work clothes, get his ID, and deal with the idiots down at the association. Maybe his sister could keep him company.

Hana then turned on the lights, and Kim wanted to do nothing else but kill her. He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, but the damage had already been done.

“Hana,” he groaned, falling to lean against the arm of the couch. “Why would you do this?”

She scoffed, and he could hear her eyes rolling. “You’re so dramatic. Maybe if you drink all the time you wouldn’t be having these problems.”

He grunted at that as a response. He listened as she moved what sounded to be plastic bags, and opened up cabinets. Maybe she went shopping–it was something he knew he needed to do, but always ended up pushing it further down in his to-do list. Maybe now they could eat proper food, like canned soup and frozen pastries.

Kim, by using every bit of his willpower, pried his eyes open. His eyes took forever to adjust to the harsh light, but he tried. He listened silently as his sister put away what he could only assume was groceries, and focused on how horrible his muscles and body felt.

“Are you still taking me to the match today?”

Huh? What match? Kim didn’t remember there being a match. “What’re you talking about?”

“Don Flamenco’s match!” she exclaimed, as if it was obvious. She slammed a box of chocolate Pop-Tarts on the counter and spun around to face him. “You promised me that I could watch all of Flamenco’s matches in person!”

Oh yeah, he did, didn’t he? He even bought all of the tickets. He didn’t remember that last part, though.

“And I have to go and watch today’s match, because he’s going against Little Mac! I need to see how it goes down in person, Ji-Ho!”

Honestly, Kim wanted to see that for himself, too. Watching Don Flamenco get his ass handed to him by some seventeen-year-old kid would be hilarious. And it would be a good enough time to take a quick detour to buy another pack of cigarettes–he was sure he was getting low, and he hated the feeling of a light box in his pocket.

But also, the idea of going somewhere that was packed with screaming fans made him feel sick. He didn’t want to go into a stuffy room filled where he would sit shoulder-to-shoulder with people who cared too much for some dumb sport. He hated the idea of getting up and forcing himself to go somewhere.

“Can’t you just go by yourself?” She was sixteen, Kim was sure she could handle it. She didn’t need a chaperone to follow her around. She really didn’t need him.

The stomp she gave made him flinch. He hoped the downstairs neighbors didn’t mind some good ol’ ceiling shaking caused by his sister. “What? No fair! You promised you’d go with me!”

“When the fuck did I say that?” No way did he actually make the promise. He never makes promises he knows he won’t keep.

“You said so when I first got here! Now c’mon–it doesn’t start until a few hours, so you have plenty of time to sober up or whatever you need to do.”

God, he didn’t want to go. He wasn’t going, he just couldn’t. Kim knew he was weak because of it, yeah, but the thought of going made him want to pull his hair out and walk into the ocean.

“I’m not going, Hana. You can go yourself.” Oh, now she was angry. Her face was actually getting red and everything.

“That’s not fair!” she yelled. Jesus, was her voice always that shrill and loud?

“Don’t really see the problem,” he replied with a shrug. “You get to enjoy a boxing match that has Don Flamenco in it without me hovering over you all the time. You should be ecstatic.”

“But-”

“Tickets are on my dresser,” he continued. “So don’t forget them when you leave, yeah?”

“You’re horrible!” He shrugged off that one, too. He felt numb to it all. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing, but it made it easy to talk to his sister.

He didn’t even realize that she left until the door slammed. Kim hoped quietly to himself that she grabbed the tickets–he knew she’d regret it if she didn’t. But he didn’t care enough to check.

Now that he was back to being alone, Kim ended up laying back down. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, not on that horrible couch and with his back problems, but closing his eyes felt nice and relaxing.

He knew she was looking forward to it. He knew the WVBA was probably trying to make sure his position was being covered. He knew a few of the boxers were probably wondering where he was. But Kim couldn’t bring himself to care.

He just didn’t care.

#stopped trying near the end lol as i usually do #punch out #punch out!!#punch out wii #punch out oc #oc kim #oc hana #omg a new oc has entered the ring lol #bunni mumbles

7 notes · View notes

voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

Text

The Runaway

Cw: none, ask to tag

Ok to rb

Chapter finale bitch!

Jerico woke up with the wind tapping at her window, its early morning.

She sits on the bed, turning to see her loving husband completly passed out.

She giggles caressing his side, and pressing a kiss to his warm cheek.

Going to take a bath she then changed clothes and grabbed a black parasol heading for the village with waffle behind her.

It was cloudy, the night before it snowed so the homes were adorned with white.

She Walked around the market, grabbing some things she thinks Lucas would like.

Suddenly waffle barks and runs to an older Man.

He looked so familiar.

Walking up to him, he picks her dog up, talking to her in a familiar accent -- ah hello waffle! No time no see!

--well color me impressed, nikolai?

The Man looks up to jerico, with a warm smile-- oh look at you, all grown up now

Jerico giggled, grabbing waffle-- what are you doing here?

-- I live here of course, and what are you doing here?

Jer shrugged-- well you remember that the dimitrescu family adopted me, so this is my home too

Niko nodds-- da, I remember, well its starting to get cold, let me invite you for a warm drink at my place? Just for old times sake?

She nodds-- id love to but I gitta be home by midday, I hav some stuff to do

He nodds and both walk to his home, the cozy ambient Provided much needed warmth.

Once they had a warm drink they sat on the couch with the TV going off in the background.

-- what did you get in the market?--nikolai asked.

Jer shrugged-- just some stuff I think my husband would like

The world stopped for nikolai right then and there-- h husband?

She nodds-- oh I havent told you did I? I got married!

He smiled with pain behind it-- ah congratulations, hes very lucky to have you

--hey before I leave though, can I ask you a question?

-- uh yeah

-- why you left our home, when we "broke up" ?just the night before we had an amazing date and then boom, never to be seen again

He sighed-- I used to be a mercenary, things got dangerous and I didnt want you to suffer, im so sorry, I was such a fool

She sighed patting his arm-- I dont hold any grudge towards you, dont worry --He sighed in relief-- well I gotta go, I wanna get these things to Lucas before he wakes fool

Waffle runs to her owner and both say their goodbyes.

She arrives home just in time to see Lucas wake up.

-- morning handsome -- jerico said caressing his side-- breakfast is ready

Lucas smiles sitting up finding the tray with coffee, Bacon and eggs some centimiters away.

--Ya pamper me too much-- he said putting the tray on his lap, waffle just besides him and jerico snuggled up to him, Like a child between her parents.

Jer leans against Lucas shoulder as he eats, handing waffle a piece of a....waffle.

-- she can eat that?

-- shes a genetically engenireed dog of course she can--he added.

She raised her brows with a smile-- okay okay fine--Both giggle and kiss-- you should brush your teeth after this okay? You have bad morning breath

He laughs kissing her cheek-- okay

That same night, they had unexpected visitors, the long and big dinner room was perfectly decorated, there were some extra plates, wich jer didnt notice much.

--jerico!-- she freezes at the sound of a familiar voice.

She turns around to find her old four lovers at the door of the dinning room

--jill?! Carlos?! What are you guys doing here?

Lady dimitrescu walks up behind her-- I invited them over, since today its your fourth anniversary with Lucas

She knew her mom didnt do this on purpose, but she couldnt let it slide today.

While eating jer was deadly silent.

Lucas,who sitting Infront of her, took her hand-- are you okay? Youre too quiet

-- well, having to eat dinner with your exes is kinda tough

He nodds squeezing her hand-- you can concentrate on me, its just for Tonight

She nodds and finally smiles-- youre the best husband ever, did I told you that?

He smiles-- all the time hun

Jericos exes smile at the scene, yet a part of them also hurted, how did they let slide someone as wonderfull as her?

Theyd stay the night,and a couple of days more, as they all chattered,except jerico who went to walk with her dog Carlos spoke up.

-- you are one lucky Man, you know that? -- he said drinking from his glas-- everyone of us let her slide, some more than others -- he looked a nikolai who insulted him in russian.

-- well, you guys gave me a tough road-- Lucas said-- Man,she was devastated, she cried Rivers upon rivers-- he noticed the pained expressions of the people around him-- but uhh... we solved it,shes happy now wich is what matters

They nodd-- amen

That night, jerico was soundly asleep, its maybe four am, she wakes up, her throat dry.

Being careful not to wake up Lucas or waffle she opens the door, just like her sisters, jerico could turn into a cloud of insects, and that she did, floating to the kitchen where she transformed into a human again.

With a glass of water in hand she drank from it hearing ball music play in the Background.

Walking to the ballroom she peeks her head into the room, her mom always liked dancing at late hours of the night.

--Mind if I ask you for a dance?-- jill scared the crap out of jer.

-- JESUS! You scared me jill!-- she sighed, to then smile-- yeah of course

Alcina smiled watching her daughter dance,she taught her well.

They moved gracefully across the floor.

When the song ended jill pulled jerico closer.

-- nice dance,partner-- they heard Kevin say in the distance

-- ah thanks-- jerico fixed her clothes-- as much as id like to dance all night, I gotta go, Lucas has to wake up early and im the only one that can get him out of bed, by yall!

She bolted to her room, throwing herself into her bed, Rolling on her side to hug Lucas.

The Next morning jerico heard a soft knock on her door,Jill enters with her breakfast-- hey, hey jer wake up

Jer yawns sitting on the bed-- oh..thanks jill--she sits up looking at the food.

-- whats wrong?

--nothing it just reminds me of when we were togheter

Valentine sighs-- I never apologized did I? Im so sorry , I shouldnt have left you for work, I realized it too late..

Jer hugged her -- its okay, I dont hold it against you

She smiles,--mind if I Keep you company?

-- not at all

During the afternoon, Carlos and her played football on the courtyard--like old times right!

Jer laughs-- this time im kicking your ass Carlos!

--id like to see that!

Both spend an hour or so,then Kevin gaver her a ride to the market since her own Motorcycle was broken.

When she hugged him,the old feelings came back.

-- remember when we used to go and ride around the city? We used to do that all the time!-- kev said.

Jerico laughed-- yeah we did! It was so fun!.

And at night she spend it Reading with nikolai.

The old feelings came back, and she told Lucas this.

-- im not trying to say that you arent enough-- shes been on a tangent for two minutes now.

Her husband kisses her-- jerico calm down, I know what youre trying to say, all I wanna know is, would you be happier if they are with you too? --She nodds hiding her face on his chest-- then so be it, I just want you to be happy remember? I promised you that when I asked you to be my girlfriend..

Jericos now exes were stoked, theyd take her back in a heartbeat.

And Lucas found himself making Friends with them too, specially nikolai who was just as much of an evil genius as he was.

Jill always scolded them both, Kevin joined their misadventures from time to time.

And Carlos was the only one making sure Lady dimitrescu didnt throw them all out.

Things were bound to get interesting and even with the possible Shenanigans that were sure to ensure, jerico wouldnt have it any other way.

#longpost #f/o fic #ask to tag #🌂🦇the runaway 🦇🌂

2 notes · View notes

arthurflecksgirl · 4 years ago

Note

Thank you for your answer! my request was abvout reader with low blood pressure, who often feels dizzy and weak, her breathing becomes shallow and quick, especially when she's standing up too quickly. She has to be careful because sometimes when it drops suddenly her vision gets blurred and she faints, so Arthur makes sure she dont hurt herlsef and is there to help her when that happens. I think you answered thatalready , but i dont know, maybe I imagined it. 😅

Here it is and I really, really hope you like it :)

Arthur helping reader with low blood pressure

"Hold still,darling. Otherwise the line gets all shaky". Arthur was sitting in his make up chair. Piles of face paint builded up on the big table, so many it was hard to find a specific one. He was getting ready ready for work. A kids birthday party. The little boys parents hired him after they saw him dancing out on the streets . They wanted him. Not any other clown at Hahas. Just him , the Doctor of laughter. Arthur felt more than flattered about that. ""Can you belive this Y/N? They came up to me and asked me who I work for. And if they can hire me. To them it wasnt just about finding a random clown. they wanted Carnival!" you could tell how thrilled he was. "I`m so happy for you. Carnival deserves all the love and attention. He is the cutest. " Arthur moved in his chair "You think so?" "Of course. because you are!" He smiled. His lips haven`t been painted on by now. Not compleately. You started with the outlines "Artie, I can`t paint your lips when you keep talking." "Oh, I know. I know. I´m sorry. I will shut up right now." You chuckled because you didnt belived him. He was all bubbly and excited today and you could tell from his bouncing leg that it would be way more difficult to calm him down. You took the thin pencil and painted his thin lips. They looked so kissable. It was hard for him not to put a smile on his face, while watching you trying to concentrate on his face. He loved this part. The corner of his mouth. Because he knew it would drive you crazy. He just knew you had to fight the urge to kiss him. Especially on the fresh painted lips. When you first saw him in his clwon make up you compleately ruined it by kissing him so hard on the red lips, there was nothing left but a pink blurr. "Hey, wanna hear a joke?" his lips moved and the line was ruined. "Artie. Now the paint is all over your chin." "I dont mind. Do you wanna head it?" "Sure" "Knock knock" You wiped the lip paint off his chin. "Who`s there?" Arthur reached for a cigarette. How would he be able to smoke while you were doing his make up? "Deja" he smirked. "Deja who?" "Knock knock" You grabbed him by the nose "You`re my fave clown you know that, right?" "I hope so" he said, lighteining up his cig. "Arthur, baby. You can`t smoke while I am doing your make up." "I´m sorry hun, its just that....I am so nervous about this kids birthday. I wanna get it right today and I am still not sure which animal she prefers". "You mean the baloon`?" "Yeah" "Ask her then." "Yes maybe I will ask her parants if she is a cat or a dog kinda person" "Sounds like a plan. " you replied, hoping he would sit still for a minute as you took the brush for the blue around his eyes "Close your eyes". He did so. The smoke from his cig burned in your eyes as you tried to get the shape of the blue right. You loved doing his make up. It always felt like sharing the most intimate little moment together. His closed eyes right in front of you, his face waiting to be transformed. Arthur inhaled the smoke and leaned back as much as possible. "Have you seen my new card" he asked, pointing at the little thing beside the watercolors. "No I havent. Is it for Carni?" "Yeah. I want you to check it. Hoyt gave it to me and I kinda like it but I want you to know what you think." You put the brush beside for a minute and Arthur inhaled the smoke once again. The card has a little clown face on it. "Doctor of laughter Name : Doctor Arthur Laughology. Speciality: Baloons" You put it back on the table "Thats really cute. I like the Laughology thing on it". He put the rest of his cig in his pink ashtray "Yeah but shouldnt it say Dr. Carnival instead?" You continued to paint the blue around his eyes "I guess so but still...I love the sound of Dr. Arthur." He chuckled, realizing that the line got all shaky again "I`m so sorry, I just cant sit still today." You shook your head as you wiped the shaky part off "Maybe I should bring you some cookies, so you finally stop moving around." "Thats was actually the plan behind it" he smirked. "I knew it. You really got a sweet tooth since you can eat more" Arthurs thick eyebrows twitched under the touch of the brush "I could eat your delicious, self made cookies all day long." "Or we do it differently. You only get the cookies when you manage to hold still." Arthur shrugged "You`re so mean". The triangles above his eyes were finished. "It didnt bother you to smear my make up by kissing the life out of me" re reminded you. You grabbed his nose "Thats because you taste so good I could eat you up" "Like a cookie?" "Exactly." You were just about to head to the other side of the room to get some new make up wipes that were lying on the other table, as suddenly the lines on his face got all blurry. But not because Arthur moved again. There was something wrong with your eye sight. Dizzyness overcame you within seconds and you had to support yourself on the table. "Is everything okay, Y/N?" Arthurs concerned voice sounded far away. "Oh....I`m not sure...I feel dizzy out of the sudden. Could be my low blood pressure again." Arthur stood up from his chair and supported you. He has seen this happening before. At first he felt helpless but now he knew what to do.

Your breathing changed and became very shallow and quick. “Breathe darling, i`m here for you. i´m right here. remember how you teached me to breathe when I couldnt stop laughing?” You nodded. “Do the same for me now, okay?”

You tried. And somehow his soft voice always knew how to calm you down when you started to get nervous. His voice was the only thing that held you back from fainting. You tried to concentrate on every word that escaped his lips.

"C`mon , we`ll get you a big glass of water. You need to drink something. " Arthur helped you to walk into the kitschen with him and mixed you a glass of water with some juice "This should help. We`ll get you under the shower. An alterning shower will make you feel better, hun. " He took tugged you under his arm to make sure you wouldnt hurt yourself by falling over. Your hands felt cold against his warm skin. "Arthur, I feel so weak...I think i`m about to faint again...." "I know, sweetheart. I`m gonna take care of it, okay. You will not faint. And if you do, I´ll be here to catch you. " he watched every step you made, so your knees wouuldnt give in without him noticing. You drank the sweet water and waited for the dizziness to fade. Arthur stoke your hair gently as you asked for another one "Sure, anything for my love" he handed you another glass. This time with more juice than water, his eyes filled with love and concern as he watched you drink it down. "Your hands are so cold" he said as he put your left hand to his lips to kiss it softly. "C`mon, we`re gonna have to get your blood pressure up". Artie picked you up and carried you into the bathroom before he helped you out of your clothes. "Arms up" he said and helped you to pull your shirt over your head. He gently opened your bra, but not without looking at you like you were the most beautiful creature he has every seen with his own eyes. The dizzyness came back in waves as you got out of your pants an underwear. Arthur noticed immediately and took you in his warm embrace. You felt his yellow vest on your naked skin. Everything about him was so real. Which was kinda ironic, because often the world didnt felt real to him at all. Sometimes he coudnt even feel himself as someone who truly existed. But to you, he was the realest person you have ever met in you whole life. To you he made everythng more real. The world, yourself, life itself. Arthur placed you gently into the bathtub and made sure you sat comfy enough to let him shower you. He switched between warm and cold water, which helped with the low blood pressure. He took the soft sponge and caressed your skin with it, which helped you relax a lot. Sometimes you wonedred how on earth you deserved someone so caring and pure like Arthur. The nervous feeling inside of you seemed to fade under the touch of the sponge. Your hands and feet didnt felt as cold anymore. But it was still a bit hard to concentrate. "Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" you asked you, while he washed away the tension. "A lot better, Artie. Thank you for taking care of me.You`re the sweetest soul." A curl fell to his forehead as he smiled. His face paint still unfinished. "Now you`re going to be late for the little boys birthday. I fel so bad about that. We didnt even finished your make up yet". Arthur changed the temperature to warm again and let the water rinse your hair. "Oh dont worry about that. I will make it there just in time. We still have an hour left. " Arthur helped you out of the bathtub and handed you his coziest bathrobe. The soft ness of it felt like a warm hug as you sat down on the couch. Arthur turned arond after he reached down his brown paper bag "Hey, wanna help me do some baloon animals? It might distract you from....you know.." He grabbed one of the baloons and created a small heart for you. And the moment he handed you the baloon , smiling at you from cheek to cheek, you knew that he will be on your side forever.

#arthur fleck #arthurfleck #joker #joker arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck fanfiction #arthur fleck imagine #joker fanf #joker fanfiction #joker fanfic #joker imagine #joker 2019 #joker movie #joaquinphoenix #joaquin phoenix joker #dc #fanfiction

9 notes · View notes

hobisolostan · 6 years ago

Text

85 question tag thing 🏹

tagged by: @sleepbugs (ilu !!! 😙)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 (lmao funnyyyy) people

tagging: uhmmmmmmmmmmm @libraop @justinsgf @lilchims @namugf @brightjoon @moon9oddess @joonsgoth

last:

1. drink: h2o

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my yearbook group chat .. its just spams from my friend cause she’s touring Europe ALONE , lucky bitch

4. song you listened to: always you - astro (stan talent !!!)

5. time you cried: two days ago ish

ever:

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: what is this kiss?

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: is this a question?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

12. favorite colours: blues/neutrals

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yup!!

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yea ig ?? not like crying with tears streaming down my face but definitely a few tears slipped out

18. found out someone was talking about you: o yea

19. met someone who changed you: yup

20. found out who your friends are: lets not go there :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them ??? stranger danger kids dont friend people u dont know irl

23. do you have any pets: skjfl i wish :((

24. do you want to change your name: no actually, as much as i hate when it gets mispronounced and not like even a tiny mispronunciation, it literally gets butchered :) , it has a lot of ties and significance to my culture which is important to me

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friend whom i would die for (the one in Europe rn) invited me over to her place and her and two other friends planned surprised gifts and hot pot ! her mom literally paid for all the ingredients akfdskjl i love her sm :((

26. what time did you wake up today: 7 am, my body she just did it ? idk lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching a horror movie

28. what is something you can’t wait for: MONSTA X CONCERT TOMORROW AKFSJD;LF IM SO MFCKING EXCITEDDD GONNA SEE ALL MY BABIES 🤩🤩🤩🤩

29. what are you listening to right now: aint nobody takin my baby - russ

30. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no

32. something that gets on your nerves: narrow-mindedness, arrogance, ignorance, when ppl chew with their mouth open skfsjldfjs

33. most visited website: definitely between tumblr and youtube

34. hair colour: black

35. long or short hair: short, it’s just below chin level rn sklfjsld

36. do you have a crush on someone: u ask me when hoseok is right ... there ?

37. what do you like about yourself: uh my lips and dimples and the fact that I’m pretty self-driven

38. want any piercings: more like need ????? ive been wanting double helix piercings for the longesstttt time. might get some this year .. hopefully

39. blood type: i literally dont even know sklfjskd but its definitely a or b or ab since my parents are a combination of those

40. nicknames: utshee ? just my normal name but instead of the ending ah sound its an “e” as in the letter e lol and then ironically its usa, long back story id rather not get into lol. shira if ur reading this u know 😔

41. relationship status: married to hoseok obviously

42. zodiac: this is virgo solidarity !!!

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: dont really watch tv shows anymore tbh but the last good one i can remember was supernatural but its .. been awhile lmao

45. tattoos: nooooooo , i want a few small ones tho one day when im of age

46. right handed or left handed: normal regular righty

47. ever had surgery: nope, i did fracture my arm once tho when i was like uh 2-3

48. piercings: 2! just regular earlobe piercings, one on each

49. sport: volleyball, lacrosse, and gymnastics i did for a while competitively. i also love ultimate frisbee and long distance running on my free time

50. vacation: i havent been out of country since i came here to the states ksdjsdf my family just isn’t one of those that take family trips, at least out of country 😔ig my last family vacation was 2016 winter break where we drove down to las vegas and arizona to see the grand canyon. it was so damn cold omg

51. trainers: um i have superstars and two pairs of nikes that i wear on the daily. i really want some new van slip ons tho ugh

more general:

52. eating: i eat literally everything lmao, im one of the least picky eaters tbh but i prefer seafood over meat. i still like and eat meat but sometimes id just .. rather not lol

53. drinking: water !!!!!!!!!! ( i down a good 10 cups at least everyday) i also love boba so much omggg u dont understand but i really do try to limit myself 😔

54. i’m about to watch: perfect man jimin focus skdjfklsdf jimin stans raise up for ur national anthem !!!!!

55. waiting for: college apps to be over even tho they technically havent opened yet akfjds;lfs

56. want: to go into my career field with zero in debt so basically impossible but a girl can dream :(

57. get married: yea if it happens sure

58. career: medical !!! looking into anesthesiologist but im not set on anything, just wanna do Doctors Without Borders as my end career goal 😔

which is better:

59. hugs or kisses: kisses pls

60. lips or eyes: eyes bc they just convey sooo much about a person but also pls ... if ur lips are as cracked as the sidewalk outside of my house we’re never smooching

61. shorter or taller: definitely taller, also wanna be the little spoon during cuddles so yea

62. older or younger: older for sure because i look at the underclassmen and shudder in disgust bc they’re ur typical overgrown yet immature high school students. honestly dont know wtf happened to selecting genuine students to enroll into our school but skfjsdfjs im out of there in less than a year so whatever

63. nice arms or stomach: arms bc i like tummies but if u have abs i dont mind either

64. hookup or relationship: can’t really see myself doing hookups so relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: depends? i definitely want a playful relationship but they should know when their behavior is verging on immature so ig slightly leaning on the more hesitant side

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: o yeaaa, new years eve and home alone with my in-college cousin lmaoo

68. lost glasses: I LOST MY FIRST PAIR IN 5 MONTHS AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE ???? i had to buy another pair after begging my parents for a good 2 months bc the first pair were so mfcking expensive ksfjsld tbh the ones i wear right now are a lot cuter tho so

69. turned someone down: yes

70. sex on first date: no

71. broken someone’s heart: maybe ? dont know to the extent the other person liked me so

72. had your heart broken: no

73. been arrested: no

74. cried when someone died: yea

75. fallen for a friend: yea

do you believe in:

76. yourself: love urself right hahha :)) lmao im trying ig

77. miracles: hmm sure

78. love at first sight: idk depends, im neutral. definitely think theres more to it tho

79. santa claus: no, wish i was still at that age where i did

80. kiss on first date: hmm depends

81. angels: yea

other:

82. best friend’s name: i have two: one’s andreana and the other is sybil (the one who left me here to die while she went to europe yea, love that betrayer)

83. eye colour: dark brown

84. fave movie: was gonna say black panther but thats too much of a popular opinion so the ritual ?? its a horror movie which i love so much omg fljsd and it was surprisingly good ??? definitely have not said that about a horror movie in the longest time bc the newer ones are always so cringy and predictable

85. fave actor: mistre kim seokjin of course 🤩🤩

#ok before someone gives me crap abt using facebook i cant help it ???#like the only way to keep up with school announcements and stuff is through facebook like we have class pages and announcement pages #its just .. engraved into our school culture lmao #this was so long akfjsdlfs #so obviously u dont have to do this if u dont want to !!!#long post

10 notes · View notes

ludeere · 7 years ago

Text

The beginning of the end. Part 10

“I want to be your friend.”

DEAN x Reader x Crush - A (it used to be angst, but now I’m not sure)

Word Count: 1374

DEAN’s POV

You smoked five cigaretes in a raw trying hard to calm yourself down, but all your efforts were useless. And the Final stage in SMTM 6 was not the only reason of your nervousing so much. It’s been two days since you last time talked to Hyo, he was one of your closest friends but something went wrong. You didn’t feel betrayed or offended but it was strange feeling like you stucked in a limbo. All these days thoughts of Y/N didn’t leave your mind, you tried to find reasons why should she want to meet you and you couldn’t find a single one. That killed you the most, all those memories, fears and hopes steadily started to return, like you woke up from the long dream and returned to the initial point. But right now, you had to get your act together and concentrate on performance. You were to perform in a first round of final with Hangzoo and Zion T.

“Yaaaa, Hyuk, drop that shit and get over here, I told you not to smoke before the rehearsal, or else i’m gonna kick your ass. “ you smiled and returned to the dressing room.

That conversation with Hyo you decided to leave between you two, it’s not because you didn’t trust Jiho, but you didn’t want him to worry about such things, right now, cause he had many other stuff to do, besides he would immediately sent you to talk with Hyo and it was the last thing you wanted to do right now.

So you just started to rehearse, everything went as you planned but you both were not very sure if you could win. You were the youngest team the most unexperienced, except Jiho who appeared as a producer once in SMTM 4. A lot of criticism went through network but also a lot of praise. The last preparations were made and you patiently waited till your going on the stage.

“This is it, I have to stay calm and confident as usual.” you closed your eyes and started practicing your lirycs. You were the last of three to appear on the stage and it was the hardest thing. But when you started singing you felt relief like all your worries had left you. The first performance was over and you with Jiho and Hangzoo stood answering some questions of MC when suddenly your eye caught a familar face but it disappeared in a crowd at once. Your heart feltered but you braced up cause it couldn’t be her. “No, no way. Why should she came here, if she dosen’t want to see me. It’s nonsense.” you said to yourself and went to dressing room with your team to get ready for the final stage.

While you were watching the performance slight hopes hadn’t stopped from punching you from time to time. The other hour seemed like a dream, you couldn’t believe that you had just won the SMTM 6. Tears oh happiness were falling down but your eyes were half covered with bandana so it was easy to hide them. You couldn’t remember a thing from what happened after you saw the results of the final voting, but you could clearly remember the moment the door of the dressing room opened and you saw that face which had disappeared in a crowd few hours ago. She was so gorgeous as she always was, but you noticed at once that she had lost some weight, her jeans perfectly set off her figure and her eyes were shining like two diamonds just as when you first met. You didn’t know how to act so you just stood there speechless while Jiho hugged Y/N like insane. When she started talking you couldn’t believe this is really happening. She came up and gave you a hug. You put your hands on her back as careful as you could, like you were holding something fragile and was afraid of breaking it, like she was ready to melt if you touch her more stronger. Hyo was standing behind giving you a bitch resting look, but you didn’t pay much attention. You grabed her hand and pulled right to your car, with Hangzoo and Crush trailing behind.

When you got to the bar it was already far behind midnight but it didn’t stop you all from having fun. You sat in opposite site so you could stare at her all the time, but the fact that Hyo was sitting next to her was getting on your nerves. Before going on the stage you thought of getting drunk after everything would be finished, but after seeing Y/N there was no way you could be drunk today. You order a lot of drinks, some appetizers and started celebrating your victory. It was like in old times when you used to gather together in a club or at Jiho house, watching movies and drinking cola or beer, discussing new music, listening to the old one and jamming to k-pop songs, making stupid IG stories and just funny videos. Those times were so precious and you got the feeling that it was hundreds years ago or even didn’t happen at all.

After several shots of cocktails you started playing 3-6-9* and it was god damn fun, cause you drank only four glasses while Y/N was taking the sixth, except those times when her faithful knight Shin Hyoseob take shots for her, but they were both drank soon. Jiho could hardly move his legs to get to the toilet. You could say for sure it was your day) The clock on your phone swowed 5 a.m., you looked on Hangzoo who slept peacefully on the table, while Hyo’s head rest comfortable on Y/N’s lap. Jiho went out bearly holding himself on his feet.

“Yaaaa, what the hell, we just starttLLeDd having funn, wake them up!!! I need moree drinks, we havent Sinished yet!” he started waving his hands.

“ We gonna continue at home, so let’s just leave, the bar is already closed, we had to pay them extra for that mess” you pulled him to your car and returned to take the others. For Crush and Hangzoo you called a taxi and with screams and opposing you managed to put them in a cab. Then you called a drive to pick you three up. After Jiho was successfully returned to his bed you met with a problem of not knowing Y/N’s adress.

“Y/N!!! Wake up!” you shook her shoulder slightly, she opened her eyes slightly.

“Mmmm, Hyuk?? What ... you doing here?” she slapped your arm.

“Where do you live right now?”

“There’s no way you are here, I am dreaGing right now, am I? Aishhh, look the taxi driver from Mino and Bobby’s MV, heyyyyy ajeossi, turn up the music paliwaaa**” you burst with laugh.

“Y/N, tell me the adress and I’ll turn the music.” she mumbled the adress and started singing and speaking english***.

When you brought her to the appartment the sky was already getting light gray. The flat was not very big but it looked cozy and full, you wished you could stay here with her forever and never to return to your empty cold house. You lay her down on the bed, took off her shoes and top with jeans. She slept mumbling something that only she could understood. It was hard to stand the temptation to touch her so, your hand went up her face and then lower to her neck and collar-bone. You waited for that moment for ages, and now she is right in front of you defenseless. You kissed her cheek moving slowly to neck and returning to her lips wich tasted like tequila with chocolate it seemed like five minutes had passed till you find a strength to tear yourself away from her. The most disappointing thing was that you had to leave her right now, or else it would be hard for both of you to become at least friends. And you knew, you needed that friendship to see her and to persuade her that you are not who you used to be. After covering her with blanket and putting a glass of water on the night table you left.

Part 9 -> Part 11

a/n I don’t know if t suite the story well, but I decided to write some Dean’s thoughts to make the situation more clear. I hope you gonna like it. Don’y be afraid to tell me what is good and what is not.

* 3-6-9 (korean drinking game)

**paliwa means hurry up in korean

***it’s funny cause the scenario is written in english and they are korean and use to speak korean but when Y/N is drunk she usually speaks english, not korean)

24 notes · View notes

parksfabray-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Stand By Me | Dominer

Who: @dominicjamesjones, @skypucks, & @pfabray

When: Friday, January 12th 2018

Where: Dom’s place

Notes: Parker goes to Dom’s place confronts him on why he has been distant and she gets heartbreaking news.

Triggers: Death, Alcohol.

Skylar knew that today was important for her to be there for her friend. Granted she didn't feel right about being there, like she didn't feel right be there a year ago. She placed the empty bottles on his counter and walked back into the living room where she came from "Im gonna go, I didn't find anyone to cover my shift, but obviously there's water in your fridge." She said as she fixed her hair as she looked at her friend. "Are you going to be okay if I leave? If not, I can text Parker and Im sure she'll be over here in two seconds."

Dom had been drinking a little bit but wasnt completely wasted, at least not like the night before. Today was a hard day and he wished he could just fast forward it all. He didn't want to feel it anymore. That loss the day his grandpa died. He was sitting on the couch and the one person that he called but shouldnt have was Skylar. She was the only one that understood. She was there that night when he got the call from his mother. He didn't even get to say goodbye. "It's fine" he shook his head. "You can go if you want I'll be fine" he stood up and felt dizzy a bit. "I'll walk you out." he said nodded towards the front door of his new house. Dom blinked slowly and he moved towards the door. "Thank you." he spoke. "For being here. I'm sorry I'm a mess."

Skylar slowly nodded. "Alright." She said softly and watched him stood up. "You dont have to, its fine." She followed him towards the door and stopped as she looked at him. "Not a problem, we're friends now right? Nah, no need to apologize. Really, you're allowed to grieve and work through your grief." She gave him a small smile before she gave him a hug. "Now, call that girl of yours." She gave him a knowing look and opened up the door. She started to walk and stopped before she turned to face him. "I mean it Dom. She needs to know."

Dom hugged her back briefly and he walked her outside. "I know I know. I'll tell her." He nodded. Dom paused as they were outside and he leaned over and pulled her into another hug. "Thanks again. I just..needed someone you know." He watched her leave and as he walked back inside he got his phone out to text Parker. -hey, so i need to talk to you about that thing that I told you i wanted to talk to you about. can you come over?- He pressed send and starred at his phone waiting for a response.

Parker was glad that Avery's regular babysitter was able to watch her, since she couldn't help but think about what was going on with Dom. She didn't want Avery to worry about her. She slipped her hands into her dress pockets as she paced back and forth, waiting to hear something from him since he ghosted, kind of anyways. "Fuck it." She grabbed her keys, grabbed her phone and headed over to his new place. She made sure that her door was locked and headed over to his place. Parker felt her heart dropped when she saw Skylar leaving his place and hid some bushes when she saw him outside with her. Was it the thing he wanted to talk to her about? She couldn't believe this was happening, nothing was making any sense. She poked her head above the bush and saw him pulled her into a hug. No, no. This was insane. She felt her phone vibrate a bit later and pulled it out. She stood up once she knew that Skylar was gone and headed up to his front door. -I'm at the front door.- She pressed sent, pocketed her phone and felt her blood boiling.

Dom sat up straight on the couch when Parker texted back so quickly. That was fast. He frowned and then went to the front door. He was a little tipsy but not drunk drunk. Not like she's seem him before. He opened the door and smiled. "Hi" he said. "What did you do run over here?" he asked a little sad chuckle came from his lips. He let her inside. "I'm sorry its still a mess. I havent had the motivation to unpack just yet" Dom wasn't in his usual chipper mood and for good reason. But Parker seemed upset maybe? "Is everything okay?" he asked.

Parker took a couple of breaths as she tried to control her emotions and looked up when she heard him open up the door. "Hi." She said softly and shook her head. "No, I was actually on my way over here." She looked at him, knowing that he was tispy and swallowed hard when she heard the chuckle. She shut the door behind her then moved into the living room, liking the place better than her own and closed her eyes. "No, um. I need to know if Skylar and you are back together because I refuse to be that girl who had high hopes of us getting back together when apparently she's over here and how much have you drink? Because if you're going to be drinking again, then Avery's not going over here until you're sober a.and I wont be with you if you're heavily drinking again and." She rolled her eyes at herself since her nerves got the best of her.

Dom frowned. "What?" he was so confused and Parker seemed so upset. He knew that telling her what he wanted to know was going to break her heart. "Im sorry, I'm sorry" he walked towards he and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not with Skylar. I'll explain okay. Just let me explain. I had a couple drinks I know I'm sorry. I just...today is a hard day." he couldn't help it when the tears started to fall from his eyes. He shook his head and sat down on the couch. "I don't want to tell you. Because I don't want you to feel the way I'm feeling right now and how I felt this way last year." he was almost balling now. "You might want to sit down" he said as he looked up at her.

Parker looked at him before she let out a breath and rested her head. "Thank god or I mightve done something stupid. Im sorry, Im sorry." She said. She looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks, making her on the verge of tears and wiped them from his cheeks. "Baby, what's going on." She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "Hey, whatever it is, we can work through it together as a team." Her head was spinning in all kinds of different directions now.

Dom shook his head. "I shouldve told you last year. But we werent in a good place and I didn't know how. I didn't want to break your heart again. I just couldnt." he swallowed thickly. "Grandpa passed away last year. Exactly one year ago today." He looked at her and he started to cry again. "Im sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't." he shook his head. "Skylar was with me when I found out. We were trying to be friends. Like actual friends and this whole week when the anniversary was coming up I panicked and she came over. We're jsut friends kinda of...not really. It doesnt matter though and I'm just so sorry."

Parker furrowed her eyebrows again as she rubbed his arm and stopped when she heard that grandpa passed away. "No." She said as she stood up, taking a deep breath and started to cry as she walked away from him. "No, not grandpa. H-How?" She swallowed hard as she tried to focus on him and sat down as she couldnt focus on him anymore. Her grandpa, the one family member who adopted her into the family. The other person she wanted to see while they were in Ohio, was gone. She buried her face in her hands as she bawled, feeling heartbroken and wasn't for sure what to feel. Between hearing that grandpa Jones was gone, the fact that Skylar was with him when he found out and the fact that she had been with him this whole week. She wasn't only grieving one death and heartbroken because of losing grandpa jones, but she was heartbroken to learn that Dom had kept this from her and had his ex there instead of her. The supposed be the love of his life, the mother of his child. "I-I don't care, you should've told me that he was gone, Dominic. I would've been there despite being in a bad place, not her." She looked up at him. "H-He was my grandpa too a..and now he's never going to meet his great granddaughter because of me and how selfish I was when it came to keeping her a secret from you guys." She let out a shaky breath as she rubbed her hands on her shorts and sniffed as she gotten up. "Do you have anymore alcohol?"

Dom hated to see her cry because it made him cry in return. He shook his head. "I know I know I should have. I'm sorry Parks. I'm so sorry" He frowned and shook his head. "You did what you thought was best and I should have told you. I didn't want to hurt you again. I didn't mean for Skylar to be there. I didn't want her to be there but she was and I can't change that. I can't change any of this and I just...I'm sorry." he took a deep breath and looked up at her as she stood. "Yeah in the kitchen." he said.

Parker "No, I didn't. Its obvious I didn't. Between two years ago and now, I didn't make the right choice." Parker said as she looked at him and shook her head before she let out a bitter chuckle. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever she could find and took a swig of it. It had been years since she had straight alcohol, but she needed it. She spotted some whiskey, drank some and put the lid on it as she swallowed it. She could feel herself kind of tispy, but she wanted more. More to numb the pain. She grabbed the bottle, sat down in front of the couch and took the cap off of it before she took a drink from the bottle.

Dom watched her walk off to the kitchen and when she came back he looked over at her. They sat on the couch in silence for a long time. It felt like forever. He reached over to hold her free hand. He said silent not really knowing what to say. What could you say at a moment like this? He already apologized and explain. He felt horrible. He didn't want her to feel the same and here she was drinking on his couch, a place he never thought she would be.

Parker sniffed as she licked the whiskey from her lips and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand that held the bottle to get the rest of it off of her lips. "Was the funeral nice?" She finally asked softly as she looked at him and looked back ahead after she put the cap back onto the bottle. "I take it that she went with you there too?" She shouldnt be like this, but she was distraught, heartbroken and not knowing what else to say.

Dom frowned. "I wouldn't know. I didn't go" he said looking down at his lap and away from her. He couldnt look back at her and see the hurt in her eyes. "This week was the first time I talked to Skylar since last year.. Is that what you are really upset about here? That she was there and not you?" he asked finally looking over at her and shaking his head.

Parker glanced over at him and pulled her hand out of his hand before she placed the cap onto the bottle. "I honestly don't give a damn about Skylar now. I was a little upset at the fact that she was there and not me, but right now Im really upset at the fact that you didn't tell me that grandpa jones passed away when it happened. Im really upset at the fact that you chose to keep that information from me and I get that why, because you're in the grieving process and sure we were in a bad place, but I would've put that to the side to be there for you because I knew how much he meant to you and to your family." She swallowed some as she looked at him. "You didn't want to open up to me right away and wanted to wait to tell me. I get that, I do but dom. We're trying to be a couple again but we can't when one of us closes the other one off." She placed the bottle onto the floor and looked at him. "Your issues are my issues, your problems are mine. Your loses are mine." She swallowed hard as she studied him and shook her head. "We cant be Dom and Parks if we don't tell each other things. If we don't then we're going to end back in the place when we broke up the first time. And I am glad that she was there for you, because at least one of us were and is there for you."

Dom shook his head. “Really because it seems like oh do when you’re passive aggressive with me about her.” Dom stood up. “I told you why I didn’t tell you and yeah maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but you have no right to blame me for not telling you when you kept a big ass secret from me for two years. It’s just as worse and hypocritical.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to fight with you today parker. Not today. I just can’t. I’m sorry and I’ll say sorry over and over again as much as you want me to but I can’t change it.” He had so much more that he wanted to say but he just couldn’t. It was exhausted and felt like before they broke up when they fought all the time. He looked at the floor. “I’m sorry,” He said quietly with sadness in his voice. He could feel himself starting to cry again.

Parker shook her head when he apologize. "No, don't be. You have a point. Im the one who should be sorry." She whispered after she let everything that he had said settled in and sat away from him. She wasn't for sure what else to say, so she stood up, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and placed it on the counter. She quietly found a box that was marked glasses, grabbed two and filled them with water after she washed them. She placed a glass for him in front of him and sat down where she was at and placed her glass next to her. "I think you should stay with Avery and I, I don't want you staying here by yourself. If you want, that is. Im not going to force you to stay with me though. I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in the bed."

Dom took the glass from her and he took a big gulp. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his head. “Okay.” He agreed. “No it’s okay I don’t want to be alone tonight.” He moved behind the couch and put his hand on her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll pack a bag.”

Parker nodded. "Okay." She spoke softly. She closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her shoulder and bit down on her bottom lip as she stopped a sob from escaping. She nodded again as she grabbed her water, took a drink, placed it next to her and pulled her knees close to her chest. She let out a shaky breath as she placed her hands on the back of her neck and rested her forehead against her knees. She knew that they would be back where they were because of her and they didn't that. Especially when there was their daughter now.

Dom went to his bedroom and packed a small bag of clothes. He moved back out to the living room seeing parker crawled up in a little ball. He frowned and moved quickly beside her. “Parks.” He said her name and pulled her into a tight hug. “Come here.” He spoke.

Parker wrapped her arms around him and stuffed her face into the crook of his neck. "Im so sorry." She whispered, knowing that she had a plan to take their family to visit grandpa Jones now.

Dom held her close and rubbed her arm reassuringly. “It’s ok” He whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” He held her close for a while and pulled away slowly. He looked at her and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry too.”

Parker felt him rubbed her arm and let out a shaky breath. She sniffed as she nodded against him, wiped away some of the tears before she looked at him and shook her head. "You dont have to be sorry." She gave him a small smile and looked at him.

Dom looked down at her and he nodded. "Yeah I do" he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "Who's watching Avery right now?" he asked. He didn't want to walk in all crying and stuff with some babysitter he didn't know.

Parker shook her head. "No because you had a point." She whispered as she closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and rested her head on his shoulder. "Her regular babysitter, Monica that watches her during the week and she's over there at her house." She swallowed some as she let out a breath.

Dom nodded. "You wanna get into bed and just watch movies all night and get a big tub of ice cream?" he asked. "Like we used to? Order pizza then?" he asked. Dom wanted to distract himself from the day. And he knew she probably needed it as well.

Parker sniffed as she nodded and stayed close to him. "Yeah and I'll tell Monica that Avery can stay there tonight. She has a daughter who's Avery's age and I don't want her to see us like this. Not yet." She closed her eyes as she licked her lips and listened to his heartbeat.

Dom nodded. "Yeah me either." he took a break. "You wanna just stay here for a little while then" he said as he kept her in his arms. He didn't want to let go. Ever. He wished he could keep her safe and stop all the hurting she was feeling right now because he knew how it felt. He was feeling it too.

Parker "Yes please." Parker replied as she rubbed his arm the best she could do and closed her eyes. She stayed quiet for a while before she opened up her eyes and looked around the best she could. "By the way, when we do order pizza, you're gonna answer the door."

Dom nodded. "i can do that." he smiled. "Lets go back over to your place yeah?" he asked. Dom stood up and he reached out his hand for her to take. He helped her up and kept her hand in his as he picked up his overnight bag. He walked out the front door with her and they walked down the road hand and hand towards Parker's.

#para:dom #para:#para:sbm #death tw #alcohol tw

3 notes · View notes

ktrxs · 5 years ago

Text

6.24.19

Well... I didn’t get shit done yesterday because... I had to go to the hospital.

And I’m going to be fucking paying for that one. Ugh. I tried to tough it out, but after the severe pain lasted an hour, I started breaking out in a sweat and I couldn’t talk through the pain, so I told myself that I had to go.

I’m normally not a baby. I normally deal with discomforts and pains. I don’t try to get relief. I just allow my body to heal itself. So, I suffer from colds without medication. I suffer through pain and cuts without medication. I don’t want drugs in me.

I have a high pain threshold. But that pain was something I have never felt before. I couldn’t move from the floor since lying down made the pain a little better.

At one point the pain rose to my chest and I’m sitting there like, really? It doesn’t make sense if I’m having a heart attack.

What’s worse is that I couldn’t call 911. My phone literally couldn’t connect. And my computer couldn’t help me. I had to call the hospital themselves so they could connect me like what the fuck?

And you know what? That wasn’t the worse part. The worse part was that at the knock on the door, my pain IMMEDIATELY stops. Literally from a 10/10 to a 0/10.

I’m sitting in the ambulance like... was that all in my head? Have I gone mad? I literally have to pay out my ass for this ride.

I had to tell myself that um... I was just in so much pain that I considered going to the hospital. I wouldn’t have done that unless I physically couldn’t take it anymore, if I am broken or if I feel that I am fucking dying.

That pain lasted for an hour and didn’t feel like it was going to stop. I guess I made the right decision? I love how I was worried about my bank account more than my health. Thanks for having an awesome healthcare system, America.

I get to the hospital. The phone is at 3%; I brought a cord but no block.

Called the husband; he says he’s on his way. I’m like... but I’m literally fine. I feel soooo much better right now that I’m not dying.

So, we sit for like 4 hours. During which I get bloodwork (they didn’t even give me results even though I want to see allllll the numbers) and I get a fucking ultrasound (I could tell she found something so I’m lying there like “okay, cancer is cool”).

They wanted to check my pancreas. I’m in there fucking googling shit at 1% like, “ohhhhhkaaaayyyy, so if I get my pancreas taken out, I will immediately become diabetic and have to depend on insulin for the rest of my 2 months of life because, at that point, I will fucking kill myself.”

But you know what I appreciate? I went to the hospital and absolutely 0 drugs were put into me. Well maybe 1? Like they squirted something back through the IV cord and they said it would taste like salt, but I tasted handsanitizer. Okay so maybe 1 drug? I don’t fucking know.

At this point the list goes: heart attack? appendix, pancreas, and cancer.

So after 5 hours, doc comes in and says that I have gallstones and I had a gallbladder attack. Which is a relief because if I just spent all this time and money for fucking built up gas, I was going to kms.

He told me to stay away from fatty, fried foods and oil. And get this... he said they may come and go but if they last for TWO FUCKING HOURS or MORE, go see a doctor.

Are you fucking kidding me? I asked how do you develop the stones in the first place. How do you prevent these stones from forming? How do you prevent this shit from happening because um... doc, HAVING A SEVERELY PAINFUL ATTACK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE SHOULD NOT BE FUCKING NORMAL.

He did not know how they were formed. He said genetics and it’s just something that happens as you age. This motherfucker pulled the age and genetic card on me.

Then I asked how do you get rid of them? He said if the attacks are frequent, I will have to get my gallbladder removed to remove the stones.

So, that part is true. But let me share with you what gallstones are, how they form, how to prevent them and what to do if you have them.

uhhem..

Gallstones are crystalized cholesterol stones in your gallbladder that normally will not prevent problems unless they get bigger or cause a blockage. You gallbladder transports bile and if a stone is in the way, you’ll have an attack.

They form in your gallbladder when you are consuming too much bad cholesterol. And let me just say that bad cholesterol comes from animal products.

You can prevent them by lowering your cholesterol intake and eating a plant-based diet. Also, by not eating a high-fat diet will help you prevent them.

So what can you do if you have them? Literally two options: absolutely nothing or get your gallbladder removed. There is no safe procedure that lets doctors take the stones out themselves and leave the gallbladder. It’s all or nothing here.

Now the doc and the paper with the information I received did not say at all that gallstones are crystalized cholesterol. They called it “hard substances.”

I’m sitting there like, I’M FUCKING VEGAN HOW THE HELL DID I GET GALLSTONES WHEN I HAVENT EATEN MEAT SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER?!?!?

Well, honey, last year you were eating dairy and eggs. They have cholesterol AND eggs are too high in it. UGH. You can form gallstones and not ever know because they normally don’t present a problem and they really don’t go away unless your gallbladder decides to pass it.

So, I could have had them for years.

Well, my next course of action is to see if it ever happens again. If this starts to be a thing, I will have to find a doctor and have a discussion about surgery.

And I’m going to cut out oil. I was planning on cutting out oil soon because it’s really not healthy at all. But, now I need to be easy on my gallbladder buddy so it doesn’t start kicking the shit out of me again.

But yay to getting older. And yay for learning about health and nutrition too late xD. Also yay for those ambulance memories!

Also, Abbey, don’t tell anyone. And if you already did... what the hell? xD

I don’t want to worry people because I’m fine. These are not going to kill me and far as I know right now, having gallstones don’t lead to other illnesses or diseases.

Okay okay, one more funny thing about this whole situation. Do you want to know what I did before the attack? And what I’m scared of doing right now?

I drank fucking water. I drank water, I immediately took a shit and after I stood up from the toilet, I got attacked. Now I’m afraid to drink some damn water today lmao

Also during the ultrasound, Brandon and I are fucking laughing bc we’re like, “if they find a fucking kid in there...”

0 notes