#i say as ive barely beaten the start of it

[cottonbopp]

Jashtober Day 26 - Myth "An ancient tribe once laid it down / They feared its power, they feared its sound."

[triglycercule]

another doodle :3 mtt clothing swap!

DUST STOP SERVING WITH HORROR AND TAKE YOUR DEAD ASS BROTHERS SCARF OFF KILLER HES ABOUT TO HAVE A MOVIE REALISTIC PANIC ATTACK

[leilanihours]

Hi! Could you do a Nika fic where we surprise her at one of her games in Seattle then we join her for when she signs autographs for fans?

# STEAL MY GIRL

pairing: nika muhl x reader

word count: 1750

warnings: barely suggestive idk..

summary: even in a sea of nika's most supportive fans, you always stand out the most.

⭑ from lani: fuck writers block bc im tryna finish the two paige and nika fics that ive been teasing but i literally cant for some reason someone punch me in my gut pls! anyways enjoy this short oneshot for ml nika <3

masterlist !

THE ENTIRE ARENA was booming with pride, excitement, and energy as the buzzer signaled the end of the game. the seattle storm had beaten the dallas wings 98-85 here at climate pledge arena. the game sold out completely and still had tons of viewers watching on streaming. the whole night had been amazing - both for the reputation of women’s basketball and for you personally. 

your girlfriend, nika muhl, had been having some struggles with her visa, which resulted in her not being able to play for most of the games at the start of the regular season. whenever the storm had a game, you could see the frustration hidden on her face despite still showing up for her teammates and cheering them on. that’s just the person she was. she was caring and supportive through it all, but was also a fan favorite.

when word got out that she wouldn’t be able to play until she got sorted out, fans shared her irritation. they believed that the wnba should be better at handling these types of things, especially as they work toward expanding the franchise.

after nika’s incredible collegiate career at uconn, many viewers fell in love with every aspect of her - on and off the court. her powerful defense, striking offense, and electric motivation. also her selfless tendencies, bubbly humor, and magnetic personality.

you were one of those viewers. as a huge fan of women’s basketball, you naturally had to show your passion at every single home game the huskies would play. your booming cheers and echoing chants often caught the attention of the players - but specifically nika.

there was one game they played against syracuse where nika scored a deep three-pointer and gained the lead against them, and let’s just say you were not quiet about it. the second the ball fell in the net, you were screaming your lungs out and pumping your fists.

having being sat relatively close to the floor (just above the courtside seats) nika noticed you almost immediately. she was drawn to you and couldn’t help but smile brightly at your actions.

she knew she had to meet you and thank you for your support, so after the game where the team took pictures and gave out autographs, she took the opportunity to shoot her shot - literally and figuratively.

whenever the two of you tell this story, you warn the listeners of how cheesy it is because it is cheesy. you laugh when you tell this part of this story as your girlfriend blushes.

you didn’t have anything to ask the girls to sign, so you simply smiled watching their interactions. as nika gradually made her way closer to where you were standing with your friend, she saw that you were focused on your phone, head tilted down. however, she wouldn’t give up that easily, so she asked paige to throw her one of the mini basketballs they were giving out. she made eye contact with your friend, pointing to your oblivious state as to signal for her to get your attention. 

when your friend practically shoved your shoulder, you questioned her sudden aggression. you were confused before she pointed to below, right at nika. she knew that she was your favorite player so she had to make sure whatever this plan was, was executed perfectly. you locked eyes with the beautiful brunette before slightly furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

quickly, nika wrote down her number, a small note, and signed her name before throwing the ball in your direction. you caught it (surprisingly) and observed the basketball player’s nervous smile.

you tilted your head in confusion before she pointed to the ball in your hands and made a pretend phone with her hand. when you looked down at what she wrote on the ball, your jaw was practically on the floor.

“to my biggest fan - saw you cheering earlier and wanted to say thank you

care to show your support another way?”

just below the short note was a set of digits, presumably her phone number. you internally screamed at the whole interaction, especially now because all you did in that moment was nod with a stupid smile.

and even after three years of talking with nika privately and eventually becoming romantically involved with her, you were still her biggest fan. the media saw it during the entire march madness tournament, at the wnba draft, and now the wnba season.

but there was one minor problem…you were pursuing your major at grad school in connecticut, meaning you were thousands of miles away from nika. navigating a long-distance relationship was definitely hard and had its bumps. regardless, you promised to be there for each other every step of the way. just because you lived on opposite sides of the country didn’t mean you stopped loving each other.

which leads us to now, at a seattle storm home game - one that was just won with the help of your talented girlfriend who actually isn’t aware of your presence at the moment. you had a few weeks before classes start up again, and you decided you wanted to surprise nika at her game. after checking both of your schedules, you booked the flight, bought the tickets, and started packing.

you were joined by one of your close friends and nika’s former teammate, paige bueckers. she knew about your private relationship with the brunette and was practically the captain of the ship fully supported it, which is one of the reasons she wanted to come with you.

the two of you were spotted as soon as you stepped foot onto the arena’s property. while paige was recognized for her own basketball career, you were recognized for being one of the team’s closest friends, as seen in their lives, tiktoks, and photo dumps. 

less than ten minutes after you guys arrived at the venue, the internet was going crazy at the unexpected visit. normally you would’ve been concerned by the attention, as you didn’t want to ruin the surprise for your girlfriend, but you knew that she doesn’t go on her phone before a game, so you were covered.

as you stood next to paige in your seats, you were practically jumping with excitement. it had been weeks since you had seen nika in person, so the thought of being able to kiss her face, hold her hand, and wrap your arms around her undoubtedly made you giddy.

“yo, are you good?” paige laughs as she sees you smiling to yourself.

“yeah i’m just excited, man, i haven’t seen her in so long.”

“you nervous?”

“a little,” you start, “but the plan isn’t that complicated so hopefully i don’t fuck it up.”

“you should prolly get on that plan, like, right now.”

you watch as the seattle girls make their way towards the people in the stands with markers in their hands. that was your cue for you and paige to make your way down to the first row.

you had informed seattle’s coach of your idea and she was automatically on board. she told you that she would have you stand at the end of the first row so that nika had easy access to you but would also be surprised.

as you spotted your favorite brunette making her way down the row through wholesome fan interactions, you prepare her jersey in your hands for her to sign. you had no idea how she would react or what she would say, all you knew was that you couldn’t wait any longer to be in her arms again.

she is now signing the poster of the fans to your left and has yet to notice you. you smile feverishly at her beaming joy as she interacts with her fans. you can’t contain your excitement when she has finally made her way to you.

you had a whole ass pickup line planned out for her but you were too caught up in your head to go through with it (probably for the better) so all you could get out was a “hi, nika” with the widest grin ever.

her eyes shoot up to yours as soon as she recognizes your voice - the same voice that has comforted her through her best and worst, coaxed her into relaxation, and become her safe space.

“Y/N! OH MY GOD,” she practically screams as she throws her arms around your neck, “how are you here right now??”

“do you really think i have enough self control to stay across the country when i could easily be here with you?” you laugh, hands grabbing her waist as you bury your head in her neck and inhale her comforting scent.

“fuck, y/n, i’ve missed you so much, my love,” she says into your hair, placing a delicate kiss there. at this point, the fans around you two had started recording the reunion, along with paige and the rest of nika’s teammates. you wouldn’t hear the end of it tomorrow, but here in each other's embraces, neither of you could care less.

“i missed you too, angel. been waiting so long to see you,” you sigh in content before you pull away to plant a sweet kiss on her forehead, “you did so good out there tonight, i’m so proud of you, nika.”

“thank you, baby,” she smiles genuinely, “probably because you were in the audience.”

“but you didn’t even know i was here,” you giggle.

“yeah whatever,” she responds. she goes in for another hug but is stopped.

“wait! you still need to sign my jersey!” you exclaim, holding up the yellow and green shirt.

“really, y/n?” she deadpans jokingly.

“yes, really. i didn’t come all this way just to not get an autograph from my favorite player,” you wink.

“alright fine,” she says before taking the jersey and splaying it against your upper body to write on. she uncovers the sharpie in her hand using her teeth (an action that definitely did not make your knees buckle) before beginning to sign it. her head is lowered close to your chest for a good thirty seconds while she gets to work but you have no idea what she’s writing. “there, all done.”

she takes the jersey from your grasp and holds it up so you can see it. her note has you shaking your head and smiling immensely.

“to my biggest fan - saw you cheering one day and now wanted to say i love you so much

care to let me show you how much?”

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[rillils]

rils, absolutely nothing hurts more than bucky saying "its fine, im used to it, ive had worse.." whenever he gets beaten up a lot

It’s the simple, matter-of-fact way he says it, that makes it all the more heartbreaking.

If he were crying, if he were slamming his balled-up fists into the wall, screaming, rioting at the unfairness of it all, Steve thinks it might be just that bit easier. Then, at least he could wipe Bucky’s tears away, dull the sharp knife-edge of Bucky’s grief with his own hands, hold him in his arms until all the parts of him came back together.

But Bucky keeps his grief under the surface, silent; private, except for those glimpses his body lets slip sometimes, in the traitorous set of his tense shoulders, or the blanching of his knuckles digging tight into his thighs, or the painful clenching of his jaw.

He brushes off the bruises, the cuts, the dark blood crusting his suit, shrugging his shoulder as Steve coaxes him into the chair he pulled up for him from the kitchen table.

“I’m fine,” he says, his jaw blossoming purple and blue in Steve’s cupped hand. Says ‘I’m fine’ and means it, just the same as Steve meant it when he used to say ‘I can take it’ after each beating in a piss-rank alley, back in the day. He recognizes it; the intimate need to believe it, to make it true, speak it true, even on the days when it started to taste like a lie.

“I’m used to it,” Bucky assures him, speaking softly in the homely kitchen glow, hand squeezing Steve’s knee with gentle purpose – as though that wasn’t the worst part. As thought it wasn’t the cruelest piece of truth.

He’s used to it.

He’s grown used to it.

There are so many things humans can grow into. Grow better. Grow kinder. Grow older. But Bucky’s grown into the pain, was raised into it, shaped into it, until pain became a natural presence lingering under his skin, twining its ancient roots around his ribs.

“You shouldn’t be used to it,” Steve murmurs, dabbing iodine over the tender-looking cut cresting Bucky’s cheekbone.

He shouldn’t have to be used to it.

Habit can turn even the most terrible things into day-to-day routine, given enough time.

Habit will see the hurt and whisper, It’s okay, it’s just another Tuesday. It doesn’t matter. But it does. It matters so much, so much it’s all Steve can see right now. That’s what he tries to tell Bucky, with the swipe of his thumb over Bucky’s good cheekbone, seeking the places where touch won’t hurt, where the caress will stir only warmth, no lurking aches: It matters. That’s the salve he spreads on Bucky’s bruised cheek, before slipping the band-aid into place, smoothing it over with the pad of his thumb, tender like a naked heart: It matters.

So what if the black and blue will have faded tomorrow, leaving behind nothing but the olive skin Steve has worshipped longer and more fervently than any gods or holy ghosts? So what if the wounds will heal fast, and the flesh knit itself back together till there’s not a pale scar left behind? That doesn’t mean Bucky’s not hurting now. That doesn’t mean the heart won’t remember, even when all the evidence is gone.

Bucky must read his thoughts on his face, easy as leafing through a book.

“It’s nothing, I swear,” he insists, rubbing soothing circles on the meat of Steve’s kevlar-clad thigh, a small, lopsided grin slanted on his lips. “I’ve had much worse than this.”

He seems to regret the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth. Steve sees it, how the grin seals back up and Bucky’s eyes widen for a moment, as if he startled himself. The way his Adam’s apple bobs and his lips part and close and part again, hesitating. “Sweetheart.”

“I know,” Steve says. “It’s okay.”

Worse, in their two-people world, is barely a euphemism for the atrocities Bucky has borne, the likes of which Steve couldn’t have dreamed of even when he used to come home with more black eyes and fractured ribs than his stubborn body could afford to handle. Worse is a sore spot they only ever touch carefully, treading hand in hand on crumbling ground, and doing so takes its toll. There’s a time and a place for Worse, and tonight, Steve estimates, they both lack the spoons for it.

“Tell me something else you’re used to.” He wets his lips. “Something nice.”

Bucky’s eyes soften. In the dim, buttery light, his irises glitter like gems, startlingly pretty, and the corners crinkle just so, roped into a genuine smile. “Something nice, huh?”

His palms curl around Steve’s forearms, pulling him into Bucky’s space; and Steve goes, standing up from his chair only to step into Bucky’s inviting embrace, climbing into his lap, hoarded close in Bucky’s capable arms.

It’s precious, how Bucky has to tip his head back to look him in the eye like this. The way he looks up – looks up at Steve like he’s gazing at the stars, eyes full of wonder, of something soft like Oh, like How. How does something this beautiful exist. How does it bring light here, where the world is at its darkest.

Bucky’s flesh hand comes up to touch him, warm, brushing knuckle-first against his skin to stroke the soft underside of Steve’s chin, his fingers overlapping with Steve’s jawline, raspy with the day’s stubble.

“I could list you a whole bunch of nice somethings,” Bucky rumbles, gaze raking all over Steve’s face to drink him in, here, up close where he won’t miss a single detail. As though he could collect every freckle, every mole and laugh line and tuck them away for safekeeping, treasures that they are.

Steve exhales softly, feeling warmed through. Wanted. Desired. Craved, with that delicate, bone-deep hunger with which one craves a caress from their lover.

“Just give me the first one off the top of your head,” he prompts, whisper-soft, and tastes the word when Bucky breathes: “One”, against the curve of his lips, before capturing them in a kiss.

He lets Steve take the lead, and Steve moves them as he sees fit: slow and gentle, the bruises on Bucky’s face demanding that he take care, softly now, easy does it, as he tilts his head to the side and slips tender into the welcoming heat of Bucky’s mouth, dancing their tongues together.

His fingers sink in Bucky’s hair, cradling the nape of his neck as they part, lingering, close enough to breathe each other’s air.

“'Tell you a secret, though,” Bucky husks, breathing in with his eyes closed, his nose rubbing at Steve’s flushed cheek. He’s so warm, so warm all around him. Holding onto Steve with a need so deep, Steve is sure it’ll bruise him too, heart and soul. “I ain’t ever getting used to this, honey.”

Steve feels himself shiver, heat dripping down his spine. I love you, he feels, starting breathless in his lungs, tingling all the way into his fingertips, straining against the seams of his skin, too big to be held within. I love you, love you, love you–

In a cone of yellow light in their kitchen, he holds Bucky tight, and he doesn’t let go.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/2/2024

as of friday i have lived in texas for a full year. that's the most neutrally diplomatic thing i can say about my time in this state so far

listening

i did a lot of driving last week and had the first album from genshin impact's legally-not-France nation on loop bc it's a lot of vivaldi inspired stuff and i find that soothing. however! one of my favorite pieces of music from this nation is this battle track. i don't have any music words but i do like the.. pipe organ emphasis? on the little flourish at 0:28. catholic brain go brrrr

-

reading

thank you mackintosh.

i liked gotham city: year one! many many many callbacks but framed in a way "and this is the start of the blueprint for how everything would go" which made me less annoyed than callbacks for their own sake. a very chandler-esque take on noir, by which i mean a fundamentally good (but tired) man gets beaten to shit and survives a doublecross as he unravels a fucked up little family dynamic for the pure nosy sake of unraveling it.

-

watching

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024, dir. Ritchie). a spy/action/comedy thing about Operation Postmaster, a wwii special operation off the west coast of Africa to disrupt nazi u-boat supplies.

i did not like this at all.

i generally like a guy ritchie film-- the holmes duolgy are movies i would happily rewatch at any time, but this one is very flat. there's very little banter and remarkably little dialogue-- long stretches of this film are of people getting from place to place in perfect silence. even the soundtrack is remarkably toned down. most of it sounds like ai-generatred morricone (very few of the musical passages like. resolve in any sensible manner. there is no theming and no noticeable leitmotif. one of the worst covers of mack the knife ive ever heard is at the climax of the fuckin film. what if someone ominously tapped a hihat to create tension for literally half the movie with NO other accompaniment). when it doesn't sound ai-generated and kind of off (morricone's cowboy western work is not what i expect for a largely seafaring wwii movie) it sounds like they rented a jazz five-piece for a weekend. one of the worst soundtracks i've ever heard. it was extremely distracting.

this is a heist movie that never really figured out how to effectively intercut actions its team is independently taking. there are also a lot of places where the cuts are very strange, especially in the final harbor scene flicking back and forth from the land crew to the boat crew. just felt very underbaked as a movie. i was frequently bored. not an effective comedy, action, or spy movie. just barely a coherent war movie, though not a very enjoyable one.

-

playing

the breath of the wild to genshin ripoff pipeline is pretty clear, esp in the legally-not-India nation with lots of legally-not-koroks. u get a bunch of chests and achievements if u find all 76, i finally sat down on friday with an hour-long walkthough video and found them all. every single four-leaf clover sigil is where one of these fuckers was. and to get to this point, i had to do a whole DIFFERENT quest chain with different collectibles to unlock some of the legally-not-koroks and also make room on my map to free up 76 markers. very annoying process. i fucking hate collectibles for the sake of collectibles and padding out gameplay. i could not imagine doing this if i were employed

-

making

cross stitch update.

i got this belt for the ren faire when my sister came down, finally got around to pulling it out of the freezer and cleaning it the other day, and it was what i can only call yucky-disgusting. an inordinate amount of scunge for a belt with very few signs of wear. it's impossible to photograph bc it's quite late and i did not think to take a before shot, but it straight up changed color. it is much lighter now

[shreddeddescent]

in terms of the vagueness of raph's specific sexual abuse, i think ive been a bit wishy washy on how i talk about it (as ive... changed my mind on the specifics as ive gotten into writing more bits, canon and drafts and whatever be damned, i think ive pieced it together)

lemme like write out the timeline for how i think it all went down

uh. warnings for... csa. obviously.

so to kind of cement it out, raph started being sexually abused by his father at 8 years old. he barely remembers it because his splintered personality shit started at 6, when his mother "died". im unsure on if raph is even the original personality. what makes more sense? that raph was being beaten by his father so he'd stop crying over his dead mother and invented a CHILD to take that abuse? or that he invented a new PARENTAL persona to deal with it after? im honestly NOT sure what the answer is. maybe its both, who fucking knows. HE sure wouldnt.

the abuse from his father is what kind of kept him in line, so to speak, but also caused so many of those anger issues he has. the issues he puts ELSEWHERE.... if he fucks up? hes punished. if his brothers fuck up? hes punished. he doesnt remember the punishment, but he knows to stay in line. hes a good little soldier. its not something that happened in front of his brothers, but it might have been loud enough they could hear... something. as little as they would understand.

when hes 12 they realize somethings different about him, because leos puberty has become more obvious than his. maybe he blames leo for his own problems ever being discovered. maybe thats why hes EXTRA mad about leos physical body.

(i also apologize for the way ive overly dramatized the sexual-dimorphism, its gotten a bit out of hand since the start but SHRUG it helps to show things over dramatically)

but when that part is realized, the sexual abuse under his father becomes different. thats when it's less about controlling him, and more about it being his purpose. doesnt happen in beds or in the dojo anymore, it happens in LABS after that, it happens to test him. to see if things will work. hes experimented on in terms of... being under a scope. having his body never feel like his own. hes sexually abused medically after that, if that makes sense. this builds up the phobia of labs and doctors and medical treatment.

and the reason the same kind of controlling sexual abuse never happened to leo is because of the part where he's already been disappointing enough, shredder knew that wouldnt fucking matter. there was never an idea in shredders mind that it would work, so he just takes worse beatings than raph did. and besides, shredder quickly realizes once he cant be used as a donor, leos the best option he has.

but shredder's lack of thinking of raph as a person causes him to say too much, thinking raph wouldnt fucking care what happened to him, let alone his brothers. so he tells raph that leo's going to take over for that. or he tells SOMEONE inside raph that that's what will happen.

but as soon as raph learns that part, its time to leave. hes okay enough to get them all out, okay enough to cope with the complete change in lifestyle, and then he starts to deteriorate.

his mother didnt help the situation, like she tried in her own way, but raphs shitty brain trying to process that the father he barely remembers raping him has also abused and beat and raped and tried to kill her? it makes him lock that shit up tighter. its not about him, in his eyes. to him? his mother saved him. shes the hero of his life. he had a bad parent, he has a good parent. she has to be just as good as he was evil. thats how he sees it.

to his brothers? raph saved them. theres this nice mom here, but... its been 6 years. they dont know the worst shit their dad did to her (cuz they shouldnt, theyre fucking children) but they know they had no adults for 6 fucking years of their childhood. so she does not get the hero treatment from them. which in turn, makes raph resent them.

raph processing all that with his fucked up brain turns him into a fucking maniac who puts all the blame on leo, despite none of it being leos fault. while his awake/most conscious brain has blocked out being raped and being told leo would rape him, he still has that fear and anger and resentment. he feels it, but so much of it goes into slash. and slash processes that shit worse. slash is ready to protect himself at all times, if slash sees leo make a face, leos getting hit. if leo pisses raph off too much, slash is coming out and leos getting hit. its bad. leo doesnt actually deserve any of that ire, he did nothing wrong, he just doesnt help the situation by being a traumatized kid who's only outlet is poking fun at his abusive older brother.

its great when casey comes along, because its a new outlet for raph, hes so much less angry because hes out of the house, hes away from his family, hes letting out years of pent up rage and aggression, and hes in some kind of sexual situation that he actually wants to be in. so he's balancing himself out with her help. she is good for him.

so for about 2 years raph is just... avoidant. and no one minds, because hes better than he was. he still has moments of anger, but the hitting stops. he gets along with leo in so far as they can hang out in a group setting with their brothers. they absolutely both prefer the twins to each other, but theyre... okay. they all kind of know they're an abused family, no one really says it. who would want to? they kind of accept each others quirks, and its lucky theres no adult men in this house to set anyone off. literally no one in that house would be able to handle a man raising his voice.

and then raph remembers pieces. and then it all kind of... clicks into place. and then he realizes its not about leo at all, and he apologizes. and leo realizes why raph's been like that. and then they reconnect, and then theyre finally brothers. leos the only person (other than casey) that really knows about the sexual abuse at that point. so now raph has two people he trusts like that.

and thats kind of where we're at. thats the baseline for everything.

[coldresolve]

squeezing mm through the danish lit meat grinder

so i know ive joked about mm having a boiling spaghetti plot structure where we start out mild and let that thing sit there until the whole thing boils over. and thats true, but if yall want a more in depth ramble about tension beats ive tried to hit, lemme introduce you to the narrative tension model thats been beaten into my head since i was 8 by the danish education system. presenting:

the narrative model

aka the hollywood model, aka the whale model (it supposedly looks a bit like a whale)

note that this isn't exactly a model for plot structure, as you see with ex. the hero's jurney, save the cat, etc - it's a model that can be laid on top of any plot structure and serves to illustrate narrative tension. and thinking about narrative tension this way is incredibly helpful in my experience. i feel like its pretty self explanatory, but in case it's not:

the impact refers to the "hook", or the inciding incident;

the introduction is where we get to know the characters and conflict;

the elaboration is where the story starts to get moving;

the turning point, or the point of no return, is where something major happens that alters something, whether it be the stakes, the nature of the conflict, etc. this is typically found around the midway point. i prefer calling it the turning point because point of no return implies things can go back to the status quo for a while before this, which they usually can't once the conflict has been introduced

the escalation is the build-up to the climax in which tension rises exponentially

the climax is where shit hits the fan. it ends with the revelation of the story's main theme

the fade out, or the resolution, is where characters settle in their new (or sometimes old) normal

the thing about this model is that you can put literally all stories into it and it checks out. sure, the length and position of each "phase" shifts around a lot depending on the underlying plot structure. sometimes the change in narrative tension is barely pronounced until it takes off for the climax, sometimes the escalation takes up 90% of the story, sometimes the fade out is literally just a single sentence. but thats the beautiful thing about models: who gives a fuck, do what you want

ive had this vaguely in mind for moneymakers and finally sat down today and applied it (ik its not done yet but shush). and honestly im kinda surprised with how well it fits. these things are pretty subjective, so you can make the argument that the turning point includes ratio, or the climax starts at the last stream or after The Confession, etc etc. but heres where i'd draw the lines

note my immaculate excel skills. also note that blue = conrad's pov and green = renee's pov, and that one pretty nicely fades into the other. im very proud of that switch okay. im a writing god is what im saying

anyway yeah i dunno. this is all pretty basic but i like it a lot, so

happy saturday. insert peace sign emoji

[steddietogo]

bittersweet

/ˌbɪtəˈswiːt/

arousing pleasure tinged with sadness or pain.

Steve is there when Eddie gets his diploma in the mail. He puts aside the piece of paper he worked three years for, sits back in the couch and stares at that spot at the ceiling. Steve watches from the counter, slowly stirring his coffee. Eddie doesn’t move even after he’s finished drinking it.

After all that Vecna shit went down, Steve had constantly broken out of his room, wheeling the little iv pole with him to go sit with Max or Eddie. Dr Owens had called him the most difficult patient he’s ever had. But that didn’t matter when he got to see Eddie, high on painkillers, start giggling as he watched Steve come in. Steve misses that sound.

Eddie only speaks when Steve pops down beside him. “S’ not fair,” it’s barely a whisper. They don’t talk about this. It’s not like when Dustin refers to his nailbat fight with the demodogs or when he and Robin speak to each other with a shitty Russian accents. It’s like he and Eddie have a silent agreement to never bring it up. So it leaves him floundering this time, not knowing what to do.

“It’s all so fucked,” Eddie’s voice sounds thick like he’s on the verge of crying. So Steve just takes his hand in his.

“I know,”

“She should be here too,”

“I know,” Eddie’s gripping his hands like a lifeline. There are tears on his face now. Steve hates this. It’s should’ve been Eddie’s moment, finally getting his diploma and walking down that stage with his head held high. Instead he gets this. It’s all so fucked.

Steve stays until Wayne comes back from work early in the morning. It hurts to see Eddie so quiet, so beaten down. So he stays until Wayne puts a hand on his shoulder and says “I got him, son, go get some sleep,”.

————

@steddie-week

Day two: Bittersweet

A/n: this one is late oop. It’s sort of like a continuation of the first day but you can read it by itself too :)

Day 1 Day 3

[violetwitch12087]

Hi! I saw your requests are open - I've never done something like this before btw so sorry if it's too specific - so I was wondering If you could do the Evans (specifically Alex from adult world, Todd hayness and Peter maximoff) reacting to a non binary reader who is OBSESSED with monster high, and loves collecting the old gen 1 and new gen 3 dolls. Thank you so much if you do! Have a good day!!

YES OMG YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I LOVE THIS SM OMG THANK YOU FOR UR REQUEST (also sorry it took so long im going back into a depressive episode butttt i have some motivation rn)

The evans reactions to non binary reader being obsessed with monster high/collecting

Evan Peters

Would probably find it actually adorable

You guys would be walking in the store and you see a monster high doll u dont have and start squealing

He just smiles takes it out of your hand and puts it in the cart

For your birthday or something he would probably even get you dvds of the monster high movies so you can watch it whenever you want

Would help you build shelves in ur house to put all the dolls on to show them off

Kit walker (if they existed when he lived yk)

Would be so fucking confused

"baby why are you collecting dolls?"

Would be confused on why your collecting kid toys but whenever he sees one in the store he (bare with me theres phones ok) would send u a picture to ask if u have it

If you dont well now u do if you do then...congrats?

Okay he would be confused but would just fucking love seeing the way you smile when he gets u one

Kyle Spencer (pre death)

Would see your collection and his jaw would drop

"ive seen the show but never watched it, the characters are so cute omg"

"do you want any more? Cs i can save up and definitely get you some....or.. a lot."

Would honestly make it a mission to collect EVERY. SINGLE. DOLL

you guys would spend soooo much money together it would be actually kinda scary

Kyle would search online forever jst for one you mentioned u wanted that was a old one

Jimmy darlin (darling)

A lot like kit

So fucking confused

Didnt even know they existed tbh

"uh doll? Why do you have so many...dolls"

*you tell him what it is* "oh... Well are ya sure you need this many?" *You do a mean glare at him* "I- i mean its fine do whatever baby imma just uh" *runs away scared*

After a while gets used to it and finds them actually so cute and you jst straight up adorable

James Patrick March

A lot like jimmy

Actually more confused than jimmy

Obviously didnt know they existed

"darling, thats a lot of...dolls"

After he finds out you love them a secret room in the hotel is specifically all yours to store and organize your dolls

Has many many people find every monster high in california shipped to the hotel

Kai Anderson

He walked in on you looking at your dolls making sure they are still in good shape

He would literally snatch it and squeeze its head off (#toddlertantrum)

"HOW DARE YOU GET THESE STUPID FUCKING DOLLS? YOU DON'T NEED THEM YOU SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE CULT AND YOUR DIVINE RULER"

You would be slapped or beaten to death, or locked in the closet, or he would fuck you really hard (ew)

But on the other hand if you were pregnant with his 'messiah' (peep my other head cannon) he would honestly get a lot of people in the cult to look for all of them jst for you

Peter maximoff (imma jst say apocalypse age)

Would see them pick one up and love them

"oh whats that, awesome! These look so pretty"

Would steal them for you

Would make a designated place in his moms basement for all of them

Would understand and bring up how its like him and 'collecting' arcade machines

You guys honestly both kinda love them and even peters sister does

Todd Hayness

"what's that? Oh"

Thinks of it how he collects superhero and comic figures

Would probably go online and order you monster high stuff/ more dolls

Would honestly be okay with it

Would ask you if you got any more and ask all about them

Would just admire you while you talk about monster high until you snap him out

Alex (adult world)(he has my heart like sobbing)(if that makes sense)

Your friends are throwing a party at your house and alex is going and yall barley jst started dating and hes only been over for ur birthday and didnt see ur room

He would see them and just furrow his eyebrows at them for a second

"hey, those are pretty cool" he points at them

You would smile and then you guys would end up staying in your room for the rest of the night while he listens to you gush about monster high and you guys fall asleep cuddling

He wouldnt mind he would find it actually really cute

I hope you guys like this i literally like took such a long time im so sorry

[superscourge]

Has anyone wondered about Scourge if he switched roles with Sonic in Archie issue 175?

He never really deals with the kind of enemies Sonic has had in past. Certainly not something like the Egg Beater.

Seeing that he’s not able to do anything against him, hearing the words that he’s reached his limit, and [maybe?] just utterly getting beaten into oblivion.

What do you think?

prefacing this by saying i dont know/remember wtf went on in 175 bc ive barely read any archie besides the scourge chapters BUT i will answer just as a scourge fan here

while i do think scourge can hold his own in a fight (more or less, depending), i think a lot of eggman's shit could kick his ass ngl. not that he isnt capable of beating them but like. he doesnt have the experience sonic has with fighting them yknow? so he probably just gets frustrated bc he cant figure out the weakness or he starts trying underhanded shit lol. this dude would cheat in a fight. and also? if eggman beats down his ego even a little hes done for, and eggman will 100% do that im sure of it

[nat-alianovnaromanova]

this poem reminded me of bucky barnes (i just got into marvel comics like a few months ago lmao). particularly wrt nat. and of course the dog coding of both of them is very interesting to me also. dog as in a tool dog as in a loyal servant dog as in devoid of identity except for their place as a cog in the machine. what do you think?

ohhhhh i love u for this. hm yes obviously this is more bucky than nat but sidebar it has echos of younger nat in the red room/when she first starts out as black widow. i dont think she is as pathetically beaten down as ws bucky bc she’s never had her autonomy & personhood completely stripped away like him so she is not a tool like he is. like yes she’s had her memories altered and tampered with but essentially she could always think for herself and so she could always pick up and go. but when she was younger not really she just wanted to be a good little spy, ergo the dog, until she escapes the kgb and becomes the fugitive dog never to be chained again. however

the winter soldier is literally a nameless dog on a leash. they kick him when he whines. he sits and waits and speaks when he is spoken to and rolls over when he is told to. and it is all insanely brutal and violent but it is all he knows so he thinks ah well this is how the world works!!!! i am either going to be thoroughly violated or completely ignored!!! and so i must be Good and Obedient. good cog in machine. good soldier. and again its literally all he knows. and when i say knows i mean … idk how to explain it but essentially he’s cognitively impaired as the soldier: brainwashing + drugs + cryostasis have obviously done a number on him! and when he’s only let out for hours at a time before being shut back in—which means he can barely begin to comprehend his surroundings let alone figure out a way to approach them—he behaves very mechanically. very doglike in that he obeys cues (ie sit shake roll etc). so over time he is conditioned to only behave in the ways his superiors like (follow this man. kill this woman. mission report. stand over there and don’t speak. or actually no come here us have fun with the good little soldier) bc it gets him the desired reaction: no reaction! to him no reaction = he’s been good and loyal. so bucky is chained. no control whatsoever. and it's learned behavior. when nat happens he's very ill-equipped to deal with her bc she wants him to speak and she doesn't give a shit about his being good and loyal. which is ironic because she is the only time bucky ever WANTS to be good and loyal to another person!! so here he needs to learn different behavioral patterns to earn the 'no reaction' which in nat's case IS reaction. sorry i feel like im explaining this wrong + ive veered off the dog topic. going back to that - the last part of the poem about the dog learning to love is VERY bucky during and after his time as the winter soldier. because he is essentially learning love from nat he thinks love is like. a smile. and he has no idea how to get it so he whatever he tries that works is the thing he relies on - and he does it again again again in the hopes that it will earn him love. he's like when you feed a stray once bc you felt bad and he keeps coming back even though you try to kick him away. so with the black widow he's like. when a dog brings you a dead bird and expects to be praised for it bc he knows no better. and anyway character thesis for the winter soldier is that he's treated more like an animal than a person. he is an attack god foaming at the mouth. someones sharpened his teeth for him but all the biting and snapping is his own. no one gives a shit about his identity or his wellbeing beyond serving his purpose which is to be a good loyal soldier. ergo dog. during recovery bucky becomes soooo pathetic about wanting to be good and loyal. essentially he curls up at the foot of nat/steves bed and waits for one of them to pet him. but also he pretends he doesn't want to be pet so that neither of them can see the extent to which he is desperate for it.

ALSO obviously there is love as biting. like digging into the flesh is an act of affection. where the black widow and the winter soldier think that love is like. hey i killed someone for u! here's the severed head :) circling back to the dog with the bird in its maw. circling back to trying to learn kindness and coming back for the hope of it even after they've been let down (by one another or the red room/hydra or wtv). they get one (1) mildly affectionate gesture and it drives them crazy forever.

anyway in conclusion bucky and nat are specifically dog coded in different ways. nat is more rabid. she is the kind of dog who bites first and back. she bites for fun! (otherwise she risks being bit and she is much too wary to let that happen.) bucky only bites back and that is out of fear. they are both always scared & poised to attack. bucky only knows to wait for scraps. nat digs in the trash for her own. bucky and the winter soldier are also dog coded in different ways. bucky is more of the pathetic one sitting in the foyer while the ws is the one who barks and bites and gives u rabies until one good kick turns him into a curled up whiny puppy. hope this helps!

[seroquelled]

recurring dreams masterpost

warning ROUGH stuff but we stay silly

2012- 2013 | frequency approx 3-4 times monthly tapering to once everh couple months over the course of a year

being in london (sherlock phase..... christ alive) walking along the river eventually making it to a bridge and nearly being hit by multiple cars but everu time i should be its like they clip through me. v cold v windy. crawling my way up the metal of the arches somehow n making it allcthe way to the top. sitting up there bullet - hollywood undead style eventually helicopters show up ?? cops below n shit yelling at me and i jump every time but when i do its like im falling in super slow motion like the air is holding me up and get so frustrated because all i want to do is hit the water . i wake up before i make it down every time

--

this one is the roughest cw infant death , csa jic

2016 - current | like once every few months in 2016, big gap in 2017, once or twice in 2018, maybe once a year if that 2019-2020, constantly for like three months in a row early 2021, barely at all 2022, and then recently twice at the beginning of this year

this ones at least a little different most times with some outlier variants. the consistencies are that im always in a big line of people sort of like an airport crossed w a museum but the room is huge and empty with a corridor at the end that the line disappears into and snakes away into a maze like hallways where i can never see the end. im between the ages of 4-6 in a group of adults i dont recognize, one of which has a stroller w an infant, nobody is speaking but the baby is babbling and im feeling very impatient but i dont say anything. stand there for what feels like forever and without saying anything the adult w the stroller undresses and starts sodomizing the infant and i stand there and cant do anything. eventtually i realize i have to do something and i run away and try to get the attention of the people in the line in front of me, moving from group to group but im crying so much i cant explain whats happening but i dont understand why nobody is doing anything. this is basically it. there are other versions where i go back and everyone is gone and the baby is dead or i go back and am screamed at and beaten for running away (but not for saying anything i guess? because i couldnt) but sometimes i dont go back at all and it just ends

--

2015, 2020 | ive only had this one a handful of times total, mostly in 2015 but then a couple times after i told isaac abt it and havent had it since

im at a massive outdoor rave/party w many stages, its mostly open grass but with some areas of concrete and the lit areas are primarily around the concrete brick bathrooms. no idea who i went there with but i know it was with a big group of older people and that im no older than 15 in the dream. i wander away and am having a nice time weaving through groups of people away from the stages where i can hear music in the background. lots of trash everywhere, blankets crumpled up where people have left them or are sitting on them drinking. picking up half drank or empty beer cans getting drunk on the dregs. being mad that i cant find any drugs to do and that people wont give me any. at some point i realize im being followed and that turns into being chased and it gets increasingly more difficult not to trip over people on the ground and everyone is annoyed that im trying to get around them. get caught behind one of the bathrooms and pushed onto the dead grass, punched in the face and i can tell my nose is bleeding bc i can taste it, the guy chasing me pulls my pants off and one of the people standing around watching takes them. at this point my perspective switches from mine to my assailant and i watch him rape me and then drag me over to the bathroom sidewalk/area thing and bash my head against the concrete 😵‍💫😬 sheesh!

t.b.c someday when i remember the other ones better

edit: these are also all dreams that i wrote in my dream journal assigned to me by my psychology professor out of spite bc i was like i dont want to write my dreams they suck and she was like Well You Have To and when i turned it in after like 3 weeks of being late she just wrote 'Yikes! :(' in the margins LMFAO

[alright-gay-two]

My mom sent me a text with the word "folx" in it and I haven't responded because it's making me want to combust. I cannot think of a polite way to ask her to never send me a gender neutral word with an x thrown in it for no reason ever fucking again because it's making me go feral.

Idk I'm just thinking about when i came out and I didn't want to and everything went to hell and the only thing I asked is that they make an effort to use my pronouns and they said they would try. And then my dad literally never tried (he sent texts to my mom about me that would have they in it like once and she a billion times and my mom would show me and be like see look how HARD he's trying!!!! Like ma'am he's trying to get back on your good side after he fucked up the dogs face and then refused to let you take him to the vet because they would think he's a dog beater ((he was)) so forgive me if I'm not feeling the love for something he's preformatively doing for only you to see) and my mom uses them sometimes and then mostly just says my name a lot and throws a she in there when she's said Katie too much in a sentence. Like you could just use my pronouns like I asked you to when I came out to you 7 years ago instead of sending me words that are already gender neutral but with an x (to be inclusive!!!!! :-) ) so you can feel like you're showing you support me without having to commit to the thing I asked you to do to support me

Anyway its getting me thinking about how I literally never directly tell anyone my pronouns because I don't want to experience being misgendered on purpose and once I break that seal it's like. Cool that you're not putting an effort in. It makes it impossible for me to want to maintain any kind of relationship. But lately there have been people in my life who I'm not expecting to use my pronouns because I've (purposefully) not told them and they've found out through other means and started using them anyway and it feels uh. Really good. Which has me thinking maybe I need to reevaluate my stance on never telling anyone my pronouns directly?? And the more I'm thinking about it the more it's like. Fuck. Did I really let myself get so beaten down by a fear of rejection and disregard for the bare minimum that I've packed it away in a neat little box and tell myself it's fine because no one can hurt me if it's in the box!! :) but at the same time it just feels exhausting to have to bring out my pronouns with every interaction and then hope I don't get hurt. Idk I'm working on uh. Being able to do things that make me uncomfortable with my therapist and like. Trying not to pack everything away as soon as I get nervous that it could potentially hurt me and this feels like something I should be able to advocate for but. It's in the box. The box is safe. I can't be upset with people misgendering me if they don't know they're doing it and everything gets to stay nice and safe and unhurt in the box. Every time I feel my soul shrivel up a bit more I just break it off and put it in the box and it doesn't matter that everyone will always think of me as a girl because the box is redirecting the feeling of rejection that I cannot deal with. The box holds on to all my trust issues and keeps them safe. And this probably has nothing to do with the ongoing issue I have with my parents not using my pronouns after being the only people ive directly told "it is important to me that you put an effort into using my pronouns" and being so shitty when I came out. That one hasn't been able to fit into the box for years now

[kachimera]

Ya know what? Fuck it, posting the ff7 crisis core from another timeline i saw in a dream

Ok so there was some laboratory facility and Genesis was inside it. He's very beaten up and weak, can barely walk, and he slowly approaches Angeal, who looks at him with a sad smile, and tries to slap him in the face multiple times even as the hits are nothing more than small pats.

Then it cuts to the inside of a lab room, Angeal is there sitting silently watching Hojo do procedures and inject mako on an specimen in an operating table. Hojo is being reckless in his procedure and ends up overdosing the specimen so he decides to replace it. It turns out said specimen is Sephiroth, or rather a clone of him (he was replaceable and thats part of why Hojo was being careless). Meanwhile Angeal has to watch all of this (he's also part of the procedure in a way, not sure how) while being unable to do anything. Eventually his purpose on the facility is over and he gets kicked out rather unceremoniously, dropped into the ground and kicked by the guards as they mock him (i dont remember what they said). He has an iv line to a bag of mako, its midday, he's on a dry dirt road surrounded by vegetation with the facility behind him. He lays on his side as he says "im not afraid of dying"

Then i tried to look up more of it (yes now it was as if it was a screen and i was watching media, idk dream logic)  and found a video of the game. It had Zack looking to the side on title screen, with a white wing and a romboid behind him (both this shape and the bg are green colored). The video was a letsplayer w a gal's voice who started talking about it as she opened the menu (cant remember her words) and around there i woke up.

Notes: -sometimes dreams for me got this daydream like quality and the beginning of this one was no exception

-Mako was never mentioned but if i see a weird funny green fluid in my ff7 themed dream i assume its mako)

[isaacathom]

I made my 5 OCs duke it out, yeehaw

So there's 5 of them. In order, we have:

Calvyre - Lvl7 Echo Knight Fighter / Lvl3 Trickster Cleric

Devin - Lvl2 Rogue / Lvl8 Whispers Bard

Florian - Lvl10 Samurai Fighter

Naielle - Lvl10 Celestial Warlock

Zimri - Lvl10 Bladesinging Wizard

An important thing to note is that only Calvyre, Devin, and Naielle are native to 5e. Florian originates from the WitcherTTRPG and I picked Samurai as an approximate of the Man-At-Arms class, and Zimri's a Pathfinder 1e Magus. For the three native to 5e, only Naielle has ever been played canonically at a level close to this (9) - Calvyre saw play as a lvl1 Fighter, and Devin was a 2/1 Rogue Bard, as memory serves. Putting them in this arena was largely a courtesy and numbers thing, and also because Naielle fighting Devin was where this all sort of started.

So the format is straightforward - Each will verse the others twice. So 8 matches per character. Some of that is to offset me learning how their skillsets work, and some of it is to try and offset first turn bias. This was important for someone.

After all 20 matches were done, this was the tally.

Calvyre's sole win was against Florian, in which she echo kited his ass. Devin's wins were 1 against Zimri (first turn bias, baby), and 2 against Calvyre. Florian's losses were the aforementioned Calvyre, and both fights against Zimri. Zimri's 3 losses were aforementioned Devin, and both against Naielle. Naielle's 2 losses were both against Florian, funnily enough.

There's a cute lil chart breakdown of the damages dealt. Which I only did because I was procrastinating HW and wanted to make things colourful and Math. So it shows off that Zimri was the best damager, and Calvyre+Devin pretty bad. Which sort of tracks with the way the tally went. Interestingly, Naielle was the only person who successfully dealt damage to everyone, which everyone else experiencing at least one match where they did nothing.

That was where some of the first turn bias came in. Zimri and Devin, in their two matches, traded spots in that regard. Very funny to me.

Then I decided to do the same table, but moderated by the person's HP. So, eg, the 119 that Devin did against Calvyre (first table, upper left) was divided by 80 (Calvyre's HP) to get 1.49, or 149% of Calvyre's HP (that is because she heals, and also overkill). And then running those through the same calcs as the previous breakdown. Which shows that Naielle did better average damage (makes sense, as she had to do a minimum of 100% against 6 of her 8 opponents, and with two people who can heal? yknow how it is). I just thought it was fun.

And then the big money. So now that I had the ranking, I decided to stage a 2v3, between the top two and the bottom 3. Naielle teamed up with Zimri (who edged out Florian on the basis that they had beaten him both times they fought), and Calvyre, Devin, and Florian contested. A best of three situation.

Which went. Great.

The numbers really don't tell shit, I gotta say. But, baring in mind that Naielle+Zimri have a collective 166* HP and Calvyre+Devin+Florian have a collective 221, well, yknow. And then remembering healing gets involved. its. its a bit ridiculous.

(*As a Celestial Warlock, Naielle gets an extra 15temp hp, and Zimri got 10)

The main thing this does is show off just how devastating a well-aimed aoe is, since in the way ive been counting it, each instance of damage is tallied against the person it hits. So, eg, a Cone of Cold that Zimri used which dealt 30dmg to all three members of the CDF trio adds 30 against each one. so. yknow how it is. Wizards, man.

It mainly shows off how deadly Zimri is, and how un-damaging Devin is. but that doesnt tell the story. Because Devin isn't a damage dealer - she's a debuffer. In round 1, which the CDF won, this was because she was able to cast Confusion on Zimri, allowing them to get wailed on by the two melee characters while she could fuck with Naielle, who couldn't do anything to help. Similarly, Naielle and Calvyre are both supports of a kind, and Naielle spent many turns using her bonus-action healing from being a Celestial warlock, and Calvyre spent MANY turns in round 3 just doing cure wounds specifically on Devin. It was a whole situation.

Round 3 alone took me like 2 hrs to run, because its a lot to track and ive been down this in the most scuffed way imaginable (using Minecraft as my VTT and having 5etools and the character sheets up on another monitor, lmao)

Truly it was a wild ride. Devin did pretty badly in the main brackets and it was genuinely a delight to see her shine in her role as just. an absolute bitch. The MVP of Round 3 by a wide margin, and the Blindness/Deafness spell in particular took the cake. Absolutely devastating.

[technowoah]

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Moments between Jason Todd and his lover, whos apart of the League of Assassins btw

- Based on these headcanons I made

⚠︎: mentions of death, injures, not much gore, swearing and complicated feelings, also this is unedited so sorry for any typos or errors

"This shit sucks ass."

"Jason please stop with the swearing."

You both stumbled into his apartment, well your shared apartment. Coming from patroling the city you two were beaten pretty badly. Your League outfit that was once green and gold was now ruined in a blood red that was from your gashes and wounds.

Jason was beaten up badly too. His helmet was broken and he was supporting a black eye. His suit was ripped open showing newly fresh wounds.

The fight was just a hazy memory, you've both hit your heads a couple of times and right now it dosen't even matter. Whet matters most is that you both made it home.

To be honest you dont even know how you had the energy left to get back to his apartment. You thought you were going to bleed out so thats why you have Bruce's number on speedial at the moment.

You and Jason ended up in the kitchen before slowly falling to the cold ground. Not making it fully to the living room and covering the floor with dirt and blood. Both of you were breathing heavily without your masks on.

You two were lying on your backs heads faced toward eachother while your noses were almost touching. You beathed in his scent which smelt like blood and smoke and just smelt like the outdoors.

Some might say this would be a romantic moment.

Except for the fact that you both were bleeding out on the kitchen floor.

After a while of staring at eachother and wondering which one was gonna call for help first you whispered to him.

"We need to call for some assistance Jason."

"Its fine." He said while trying to get up from his spot on the floor. "I can get the medical kit, its in that cabinet."

The cabinet which he was talking about wasn't on the floor, it was a high shelf. Jason tried to stand up on his knees, but groaned in pain as he found his way back to the floor.

"Let me call Bruce."

"Hell. No"

"Jason-"

"Im not letting him save me. Im not weak." He groaned and you rolled your eyes.

"Jason, I am weak."

He paused for a moment. Seeing you both are in the same predicament. Both beaten, bloodied, hand and knees, chest and arms, canr barely move. He didn't want to pass out here, he didnt want you to either. He didn't want to calm Bruce.

"Call Alfred."

~~~

"Seems like you two got into some trouble?"

"Yeah a little bit." Jason responed to Alfred.

Alfred got you both to the couch and started on stiching your wounds. You both looked like mummies, but you both were cleaner than you were before.

"Thank you again." You spoke.

"There is no need for that, it is my job after all. Ive taken care of about 4 kids for all these years."

"Yeah, thank you Alfred." Jason responded.

"You're welcome." Alfred smiled at Jason and he gave a small smirk back. "So when are you going to tell master Bruce about the two of you?"

"Never." Jason said quickly. "I dont want him in my buisness, he'll try to take over my love live."

"Love life." You whispered but no one heard.

"He'll find out eventually you know?"

"Yeah"

"Until then we'll be fine Jason, I promise."

He was silent, he was thinking too hard and you could tell. The dim lights of the room gave a gloomy aspect but it highlighted his face well. Jason opened his mouth to protest like he always does, but you beat him to it.

"Im very good at keeping a secret am I not?" You teased waiting for his reaction.

It was a slight smirk but it dissappeared. "Yeah took a while to figure out you were from the Leauge. When you pretended you weren't apart of the League, that messed me up when you started training me."

"My best student." You whispered, guilt filled your heart when he brung up the past.

"Damn right." He smiled at you. For the first time today.

The moon was brighter than usual as you stared at it encapsulated by its beauty. The Leauge made a huge deal about the moon. It felt like you were home.

Jason had left you outside by yourself a while ago saying he needed wine. You both took lawn chairs outside to Bruces huge acre garden to have some sort of alone time at Bruce's house. He's been taking a while to get the wine and you probably should assume that his brothers were taking up his time. You kept staring at the moon.

"Is it that interesting as they say?"

You sat up and turned slightly to see Damian taking Jason's seat next to you.

"If you look yes it is."

"Is it true you studied the moon?"

"A lot of questions young one." You smirked and he scoffed. "Yes I did. One time in Egypt I studied it and immediately got immersed in the study of space."

Damian hummed in response and was about to ask a question, but remembered your response to him asking another question.

"Why are you hesitant?" You asked and he tensed beside you.

"You can tell from the Leauge right? Their training?"

"It was interesting, but yes. Like Jason per say." He raised his eyebrows in question. "His senses are heightened because of the Lazarus Pit right?"

He nodded and you admired his focus to your words. "Think like that. You're truly advanced Damian, but not as advanced as me." You laughed.

"How can I be?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be better." He looked seriously into your eyes with nothing but determination.

"You dont want to go back there Damian."

"I know but-"

"But nothing, Damian." You cut him off sternly. "It's horrible, a bad place with bad people. I dont care if they are considered family. Family can be bad as well."

"What if I want to change the Leauge of Assassins."

"Change the Leauge of Assassins, the very same one that's under Ra's rule?"

"Yes. Didn't I make myself clear."

"Clear as the moon Damian."

It's not like you hated the Leauge. You had a love-hate relationship with them. But you and Damian had seen the worse of it all and both of you know you're both better off here than back there.

"Think about it." Damian spoke into the air. You nodded as you both satnin silence with the tension slowly releasing the air. The only noise was the occasional crickets and your own mind.

"Why?" You asked Damian.

"Again you ask me why?"

"I ask you "why" because I want a plan from you. I dont do anything without a plan."

Damian scoffed, "You and Jason go on rouge missions all the time."

"Those are supposed to be secret." You chuckled.

"He's not as discreet as you are."

You laughed and at the sound of your laughter Damian had a small smirk. These times with the Waynes had helped you highten your emotions. Always been taught that emotions will hold you back, that they'll make you weak is nothing now. Jason and you work out your emotions. Both expressing things you both never expressed before. Joy, love, compassion, jealousy, sadness, rage. All because of Jason, every day you see yourself grow more. And he can say the same about you.

"You tryna steal my girlfriend demon?"

Speak of the devil.

"No Todd, just having lively conversation." Damian spoke as he stood up. You noticed he was more relaxed than when he came out to the garden before.

"We'll I'll appreciate it if you would leave us alone for now." He sat down the red wine and glassed on the grass then he occupied himself with opening the bottle, his muscles flexing while he did so distracted you for a bit while Damian was yelling at Jason for taking up too much of your time.

Jason somehow got the last and Damian left with a huff.

"We'll talk later Damian!" You yelled after him. He just turned around with a nod acknowledging your statement and closed the glass door behind him.

"Lively conversation huh?" Jason asked as he handed you a glass and filled it up as you held it.

"Yes." You smiled.

"Thats all I get is a "yes"?" He complained.

"Mhm."

"You're an ass."

It was a quiet night for Jason, I mean except for the Gotham noise below him. Crime has been slow, so he found his favorite rooftop that overlooked the city illuminated in its own beautiful way. Peaceful wasn't what followed him so he wondered why the universe gave him this.

"Funny seeing you here."

He turned his head slightly to see you walking towards him in all your assassin glory. Your outfit and mask was still on, but he could tell you're smiling. He really hit the jackpot today huh?

"You're back huh? To gloomy old Gotham."

"The mission was quick, too easy."

"Did you kill someone for me?" He chuckled while leaning against his shiny red helmet on the side of him.

"Of couse I did. For old times." You laughed while taking a spot next to him.

"Yeah, old times."

He had no idea why you were in his life. Why was the universe being so kind to him? This beauty sitting next to him, the night lights glowing softly on your face. You changed his life in so many beautiful confusing ways. Nothing was perfecy between you two and nothing will be stable, but to him its a perfect love story.

"Jason?"

"Yeah."

"Just I need-" You huffed out of frustration. "Kiss me." You blurted out while he just stared at you.

"Jason this was so long without you I need you to kiss-" You finally got what you wanted when he molded your lips together.

Your lips moved in unison while your hand traveled up his shoulder and to his neck and his hand help your waist. It felt like heaven ti Jason, your lips on his. His home. His gaurdian angel back in his arms. His hand around your waist gripped the fabric tightly wanting nothing more to rip the traditional armor off of you and feel you close.

He parted for a second for air. "You're home." His breath tickled your lips

You both were and hour away from your shared apartment, but you knew what he meant.

You pecked his lips. "Im home."

The motel stinked, but it was the only temporary option.

Jason was lying on the bed on his laptop he somehow brought, am6d you were polishing your swords when he sat up beside you and pushed the computer in your lap.

"Egypt?"

"Egypt doll!"

You could tell he was excited about this. "What are you implying?"

"I'm implying that we go to Egypt. For a week? And we're going there for fun this time. You spoke very highly of it."

You glared at him

"5 days." He srunk

"Why Jason-"

"You always said you wanted to travel the world." Jason rebuttals.

"Yes I have expressed that, but-"

"But nothing. Im making this dream a reality."

Jason scooted closer to you closing the gap that was once inbetween you.

"Jason," You started. "Egypt is just one place."

"Yeah, but then we can travel from there." He smiled.

"Like Brazil?"

"If you want baby."

"Greece? Tokyo? Greenland?"

"All that and more doll." You gave him a look. It was a look of uncertainty. He knew that look too well.

Jason was reckless, you were too, in the field, not in real life. Money wasn't much for you because the Leauge would take care of it all, but Jason was different. You wouldn't want him spending money on you so frivolously.

"I'll do anything for you, you know that right." He whispered leaning in closer to you.

"Sometimes."

"I'll burn the Earth for you if you wanted."

"Im not used to hearing stuff like this said to me. You make me feel love again Jason." You whispered back to him.

Jason wasn't one to voice his emotions often so he just kissed you, hard. It felt like he wanted to devour you before breaking the kiss for a second.

"So, am I buying the tickets or nah?"

"Jason im not leaving my home!"

"I thought you hated that place?!"

You and Jason had been fortunate enough to get back home before you both exploded on eachother. The pent up frustration from the last mission you were sent on by the Leauge caused tension between you, Jason, and his family as well.

Dick was worried sick about you. You came back with cuts and bruises adorning your body like jewels.

Tim did not expect the Leauge to not treat you after such a mission. He expected for them to take carew of your wounds but after you told them that and I quote, "We're told to take care of our own wounds, not to be a burden to others." He was fuming.

Damian was dissapointed. He knew you were the Leauge's top fighters, he respected you for that, but one of their top fighters should know their limits. You should have a say on what mission you take or not, but you don't which leads him to try and convince you to leave.

"They made me who I am Jason."

"Who gives a fuck?! I dont care! You're not a killing machine! You're a human!"

You scoffed at that comment, but that made him evem more enraged.

"Are you listening to me?"

"I hear you loud and clear cause your fucking damaging my eardrums!" You ran your hands over your head. "I dont know."

"You dont know what?" Jason sternly questions.

"Im conflicted."

"It shouldn't be that fucking hard."

"Maybe its okay for you to leave your family Jason, but I cant! My mother-"

"You dont have to." Jason interrupted you. He knew your mom died a long time ago. He knew that the Leauge took care of you in her place.

"I feel like that's all I have of her."

"Thats not true."

You both we're silent for a while. You refuse to let tears fall on your cheeks. Jason's hands were slowly releasing their hard clench.

"Im sorry." You said.

"Me too." Jason follows.

"We're really fucked aren't we?" You laughed a tear trickling down your cheek. Jason stepped closer to you and took his thumb and wiped your tear.

"Now look who's swearing now." He laughed. He pulled you in for a hug encased in his broad arms and rested his head ontop of yours. "And yes we are."

..........

You and Jason were cuddled up againt eachother with him fast asleep. He was snoring pretty loud and that woke you up out of your peaceful sleep.

Carefully, you slipped out of his arms and the covers and headed towards the kitchen for a glass of water.

You padded to the kitchen when you felt a presence in the apartment with you.

"Damian."

"How did you know?"

"I felt your presence." You smirked and he scoffed.

"Are you better?" He asks while sitting on the kitchen island.

"No." You chuckled.

You both were quiet with him not knowing what to say.

"Will you take my offer?"

"Which one?"

"To reform the Leauge of Assassins." He spoke in some sort of heroic tone he learned from his father.

"Ah I forgot about that one. When was this? December?" You teased

"June 13." He deadpanned.

"I know. Why would I take up your offer now?" You questioned trying to get him to spill.

"I want to go back just as much as you. But its horrible we could run it together!" He shouted.

"Keep it down." You shushed him "Jason is alseep."

"What's there to loose?" He grunted.

"Everything, Damian."

"What are you doing here at 3am?" Jasom stumbled into the kitchen wrapping an arm around you.

"You always have to interrupt our conversations Todd?"

"Yeah I want my girlfriend back to bed." He snipped while taking your glass and stealth a sip of your water.

"Damian?" You softly spoke.

"Yes?"

"Stay here tonight. I'll call Bruce and tell him that his son was worried about me." You joked and he scoffed again already gathering the blankets and pillows from the last time he stayed on the couch, turning on the TV making himself at home.

"Its like we already have a kid."

"Shut up." Jason rolled his eyes and chuckled before filling up the glass again and going back to bed.

"Damian." You called out his name again and he lifted his head from the couch.

"Let's have this conversation when you're older okay?"

He gave you a small smile before turning his attention back to the TV.

You cuddled back with Jason under the covers, he gave you a small kiss on your forehead before shutting his eyes.

"I think I want to change the Leauge of Assassins."

"You do you babe." He slurred.

"Jay Im serious."

"Im serious too. Do whatever you want I'll be here right by your side. No matter how dangerous."

"No matter how deadly?" You sighed.

"You know I love a good deadly mission once and a while." He smirked with his eyes closed.

"I love you."

"I love you too doll. And I'll follow you to the ends of the earth."