#i saw this sad otter man and fell in love

[k-chips]

Can't believe how up to date you are because I'm not even past Haypasia lol.

I had... A lot of free time recently 😅

I was stuck in Sumeru for A LOT. For months because I didn't have the time or will to continue the story. It was kinda boring at the time (after Inazuma and at the very beginning of Sumeru) so I left the game for a while.

But then I saw Neuvillette, found out something about his character, and I was like

"Dude. This guy needs to be MINE"

I downloaded the game again, speedran Sumeru (I loved it omg Nahida best archon) and farmed primos just to get to Fontaine and pull Neuvi 💀🤣

So yeah, that's how I lived the past month lol

[vergilthelibrarian]

Yandere!YutaxGN!Reader

His eyes were always intense.

Dark… there was a darkness about his eyes and no matter how much you tried to brush off his stare, you always felt scared. Your body feeling as though someone dumped cold water on you whenever you met his eyes.

Yuta wasn’t a quiet loner.

He wasn’t much of a bad boy in the stereotypical sense though he did hang out with a rough crowd.

He was nice to everyone, always laughing, a big grin stretching his lips that made him look very inviting and warm.

He was respectful too though, if you didn’t respect him well… let’s just say that won’t end well.

Yuta in a sense was a bad boy with a heart of gold, making use with the wrong hand he was dealt with.

Out of his friends, he was the only one attending college, majoring in Physical therapy.

He had told you on a double date that he wanted to get into sports medicine since he wouldn’t be able to do football because of an injury.

One of your friends got asked out by his friend and thought it would be cool to make it a double date since they were nervous. You didn’t expect to see the bleach blonde but there he was standing next to his friend.

Yuta was really sweet.

He wasn’t weird or tried anything.

It was nice to have someone listen to you talk about miscellaneous things like pro wrestling, Splatoon lore, and random facts about sea otters.

He was everything you expected him to be.

And honestly, that was a terrible thing to do.

Suddenly, you began receiving little messages of encouragement in your morning English class that you always had on Wednesdays.

It was sweet words that always made your day so the only thing you really wondered about was who was writing them.

Pretty normal.

Then the letters of encouragement started appearing on the desks you always say at in your other classes.

This should’ve been when the warning siren went off because this was very obviously the same person, you can tell from the handwriting but in all your classes, you didn’t share multiple classes with any of your classmates. But still, you didn’t think about that, only thinking about the nice words you were receiving.

The letters though started becoming flirty, your ears becoming warm at the compliments you were getting.

One day though it finally got to you that this whole thing was a bit weird.

How did this stranger knew what you were wearing? How did they know the tests you were taking?

At some point, you began to not read the letters anymore, believing that continuing to entertain whoever was sending you these letters will only lead to trouble.

Sadly, the trouble began the night you met Yuta.

It wasn’t like Yuta wanted to fall for you.

In fact, he didn’t expect it.

It was genuinely surprising.

He shared one class with you, Applied Mathematics on Thursdays at 2:30pm.

You were cute but quiet.

You weren’t shy at all but you really only kept yourself around your close friends.

That night listening you just gush over random things that you liked, something kind of just clicked in Yuta’s head and he felt his heart flutter for the first time as he heard you laugh, your hand covering your smile.

Did you think your smile was ugly?

Yuta would assure you that your smile was indeed not ugly.

That night when he got home, he couldn’t stop thinking about you and immediately he decided to make you his.

Yuta was a neutral man in terms of doing morally questionable things to get what you want so even though he beat himself up after the first couple of days of stalking you, he got over it quickly.

Yuta noticed how you always seemed to be in your own world, humming a random melody sometimes or just repeating a song lyric.

He saw that you were a helpful person. In fact, you seemed pretty selfless.

He fell more in love with you and began leaving little letters of encouragement on the desks you always sat at.

Oh the sadness he felt when you stopped reading his letters.

Was his compliments creepy?

He wanted to know and so he asked you.

“Um.. I just think it’s a bit weird that you know all of my first classes of the day.” You told him quietly, finding it difficult to look him in the eyes.

“Oh…” Fuck.

Yuta backed off that day. It was obvious he had cross the line and made you uncomfortable but that quickly didn’t matter once he saw you talking to a classmate of yours and you were talking to him a lot in Yuta’s eyes.

The guy made you laugh and smile. He would buy you coffee and even hug you!

Yuta never even got to hold your hand but this guy that you don’t even know can just hug you?!

Yuta knew he wasn’t thinking healthy but he couldn’t stop it.

He hated that that guy was in his place.

Yeah, Yuta shouldn’t had stalked you but it was just a little mistake.

That’s all.

He couldn’t help staring at you.

He never glared, always stared.

When your eyes would meet his, his heart would flutter.

Didn’t your heart flutter too?

It had to.

There’s no way it didn’t.

He just needs to fix everything and get you the proper way this time but first, he needs to get rid of that classmate of yours.

In Yuta’s mind, you’re already his and he won’t let anyone get in the way and he had came to realization that he wouldn’t even let you get in the way as well.

The darkness of delusional obsession has possessed him and you saw it within in his eyes.

[carllisle]

A Touch of Jealousy

Inspired by talks with the infallible @stregoni-benefici

A coworker has the hots for Carlisle and Esme doesn’t quite know how to deal with the jealousy of it all. Less fun than it sounds. Undercut for length. 

Esme liked to pick Carlisle up from work. The hospital was on the way to the school, so sometimes Edward or Rosalie would drop him off in the morning and Esme could pick him up in the evening. She liked to look nice for him, too, and whilst her cream jumper and blue jeans weren’t anything special, she felt cosy. Alice advised her to pair the look with brown boots that had her four inches taller and Esme had admired how it had made her figure look. She liked to look nice for him. 

The kind lady on reception greeted her. “Evening, Esme. I just saw him go that way,” she pointed to the corridor opposite the front entrance, “would you like me to page him?” 

Esme smiled warmly. “Hello, Beverley. No, that’s alright, thank you, I’ll wait in his office.” 

“Well you let me know if he takes too long, I’ll sort him out.” 

“I don’t doubt that,” Esme laughed. The woman was in her late sixties and, like any good receptionist, had every doctor and nurse wrapped around her little finger. “But that’s quite alright, I don’t mind waiting.” 

Like every other place he had worked, Carlisle’s office was empty of decoration and personality. Most of the walls were blank, save for a landscape she had painted of the English countryside after their recent trip. No medical degrees, no certificates, nothing to indicate the name or accomplishments of the man who worked here. Still, it smelled like him. Esme sat in the leather chair behind the desk and stroked the arms. 

It was easy to get lost in memories of their trip and she settled back to remember their boating expedition on the Norfolk Broads. She thought of the family of otters they had seen frolicking in the water and smiled. 

Not much time went by before she could hear Carlisle’s voice drifting up the corridor along with a woman’s voice she didn’t know. The woman was laughing. “Oh Carlisle, you’re so funny!”

Carlisle chuckled. “Could you tell my children that? I try to amuse them and so often it falls flat!” 

“Surely not!” the voice exclaimed. It reminded Esme of how Tanya sometimes joked with Edward on her more flirtatious days. “That boy Emmett of yours seems to have a great sense of humour, doesn’t he back you up?” 

Esme’s eyes widened. When had this woman met Emmett? 

“Sometimes! But he likes to deliver a punchline more than he likes to hear one.” Ta-tap, ta-tap, the click of his shoes echoed down the corridor. There was a rustle of paper, cold, hard skin sliding over pages; he was reading as he walked. 

“I liked him!” The woman and Carlisle were just outside of the closed door now. The woman skipped a few steps and Esme could see in her mind’s eye that she was now in front of Carlisle. “I like his father, too.” 

“I like you, too!” Carlisle said cheerfully. “It’s nice to work with someone that one finds cheerful and personable!” 

The woman laughed. There was the sound of a soft hand on the cotton of Carlisle’s sleeve. “That makes me very happy.” She dropped her voice, but the smile was still in it. “Would you like to meet for a drink after work one day this week? We finish early on Thursday night, how about it?” 

“That sounds very nice. Who else had you thought about asking?” 

There was a sultry edge to the woman’s laugh. “Just us, Carlisle. You know, you and me?” 

“Oh. Oh. You know, I’m very flattered, but I have a wife who- who I’m very- very fond of-”

“I won’t tell her if you don’t.” 

“No, it’s not like that, it’s… you’re very lovely, but I-” The handle of the door twitched as he grabbed it. 

“It’s alright, I’ve seen how you look at me, so have others. We get on so well, c’mon, I can be discreet-” 

“No, thank you-” Carlisle pushed the door of the office open and his eyes fell on Esme where she sat. He looked uncomfortable. The woman’s heart was racing. 

Esme swallowed down the venom that had seeped into her mouth and smiled as warmly as she could. “Oh, I thought you had finished for the day. Would you like me to leave while you finish talking?” 

“No!” Carlisle said quickly and he held out his hand to call her over. Stiffly, Esme walked to his side and surveyed the woman. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, tall and slender and with flaming red hair and cheeks speckled with freckles. She looked at Esme with piercing green eyes and smiled easily. “Darling, this is my colleague Doctor Robinson. Doctor Robinson, this is my wife, Esme.” 

“Please, call me Zoe,” the woman said, handing out a hand. Esme shook it, ignoring the pulse at her throat. “Carlisle never mentioned he was married.” 

Esme glanced down at Carlisle’s hand and smiled. “A pleasure to meet you, Zoe. Does my husband neglect wearing his wedding ring?” 

“No, I don’t, I always wear it” Carlisle said, less calm than usual. “Let me grab my coat and we can get going.” 

Esme nodded and stepped away from him. The woman looked the most casual of the three of them. “Well, I best be off, I’ve got some paperwork to catch up on. Let me know if Thursday works for you, Carlisle, and I’ll arrange the meeting. Pleasure to meet you, Esme.” 

Esme did her best to speak kindly. “And you, Doctor Robinson. Enjoy your shift.” 

The door was closed and they heard her walking down the corridor. Esme looked at Carlisle. “Darling, I never-” 

She held up a hand and shook her head slightly. “It’s alright.” 

“I never meant to encourage her, and I do talk about you, I talk about you all the time!” 

Esme winced. “You don’t need to justify yourself.” 

They walked in silence to the car and Esme handed him the keys to drive. Once they were inside and the engine hummed quietly to life, the territorial instinct in Esme had subsided slightly. Sadness replaced it. “She’s very pretty.” 

“She’s just a friend, darling.” 

Esme nodded and looked out of the window. The lights of the city rolled over the night sky in a haze she could not focus on. “We’ve been married for a very long time. It wouldn’t be surprising if you were… if you got bored of me and wanted to… to try something else.” 

“Esme.” Carlisle sounded shocked. He rested his hand on her thigh but she twisted her body away from him. “I have never been bored of you. I have never had the desire to- to try something new. Have you?” 

“No.” 

“You are all I have ever wanted and all I have ever needed. There will never be another. I thought you knew that?” 

She was silent for a long moment. “I do.” Esme turned to look at him, not knowing how to say what was in her heart. 

He reached out to run his fingers through her hair and she let him touch her this time. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking… that… that there’s only so much I can offer you. I have no medical experience or knowledge, I can’t stimulate you like your colleagues can, or Edward or Rosalie can, I can’t satisfy your desire for knowledge and the pursuit of it.” 

“You don’t need to,” Carlisle murmured softly. He glanced now and again at the road but his hand stroked her hair. “In the same way I don’t need to do the same for you with art and architecture. We have our own interests and pursuits, that’s how it’s always been. That doesn’t mean that you are anything less than my world.” It made sense and she nodded. “Is there anything I can say that will make you feel better?” 

Esme swallowed. “It’s… it’s ridiculous. Childish, really.” 

“What is it?” 

“I… I feel very… protective over you. Territorial is perhaps the better word. The idea of her laying a hand on you, it… it made me want… want to do things to her, to you…”

Carlisle’s expression darkened and she couldn’t tell if it was in a good way or bad. “What things?” 

“I- I don’t know. I think I just… I just wanted her to know that… that you’re mine. Whatever that means.” 

Carlisle’s expression was unfathomable. After a long pause, he nodded. “I am. Body and soul. Always.” 

Drawing in a deep breath, Esme could taste him in the air. She took the hand in her hair and kissed his knuckles, and held it between both of hers in her lap. “I’ll laugh about this tomorrow. But for now… I think I’m… unsettled.” 

“That’s understandable. I do not expect you to laugh about this if you do not wish to.” 

“I do. But not quite yet. I think tonight, I… I think I want to scream. I think that would make me feel better.” 

“Alright. Let’s take a detour home. Would you like to hunt?” 

Esme nodded. “Something big.” 

He cracked a smile and glanced at her again. “Will you protect me from a big and scary beast?” 

It was impossible not to smile in return. “Maybe. Would you like me to?” 

“Oh, wholeheartedly.”

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Hehe 💀

142.)Werewolves 

Let’s meet somebody in the Reverse Vampire AU

“We have had a few offers here and there, quite high ones in fact.”

“Oh, really now? What’s the highest one you’ve been offered?”

Inside what was now technically an abandoned building, walked a pair of adults with a child following suit. This building was an aquarium that had gone out of business a while ago, the property now being on sale.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know, and I also am not able to tell you unfortunately due to the contract. However, just between you and me, I’ll say that this man doesn’t want to bring back the aquarium. He wants to discard of the animals as quickly as possible to then destroy everything. Build his own thing he says.”

“That’s so sad!”

The adults ceased their walking, turning around to face the child who ‘s expression matched what she had said.

“Where will all the animals go?”

“I...I’m not sure dear.” the man of the adults wasn’t sure how to respond, not wanting to further upset the little girl who then turned to her mother.

“Mommy, you’re going to save all of them, right?”

“Oh, Lily...” her mother held her breath, turning to the man who happened to be her former employer before the aquarium closed down. “I, I don’t-”

“Coraline.” the man placed a hand on her shoulder. “How about, you and I go into my old office? Your daughter can explore the aquarium while we have a quick chat.”

“Lily?” Coraline turned to the child who looked up at her, still with sad eyes. “Are you alright wandering around by yourself?”

“Of course mummy!” Lily gave an eager nod, then turning on her heel before dashing away as her mother called out to her. 

“Make sure you don’t go too far nor too close to the open areas!”

“Yes mummy!” Lily called back, already far from her previous location as she ran past a plethora of entries leading to other hallways or exhibits. Her little feet eventually brought her to the large open area that was technically the entrance, more like what came after people were allowed into the aquarium.

Lily tapped a finger against her chin, debating which area she would explore. There were so many things to do yet so little time, even with the complete lack of guests since the only ones who ever came were the owner, interested buyers, and her mother who frequently took care of the animals.

“Sharks? Open Ocean? Otters? Hmm...”Lily continued tapping her chin, eyes squinted as she slowly spun in place while eyeing each of her options, shutting her eyes before spinning rapidly. Once Lily felt herself get dizzy, she lifted a wobbly hand to point, opening her eyes to see at what she had randomly chosen.

“Jellyfish!” Lily exclaimed, hurrying over to the exhibit entrance where she was met up with a darkness. Honestly, it kind of didn’t really seem like it considering how several lights were off and it was already night time.

The child made it inside, her eyes growing wide and practically twinkling as she now admired the pretty lights inside the huge room. Several of them came from the tanks, Lily noticing this as she approached a large cylinder-shaped one, containing moon jellyfish that all seemed to change colors due to the lights.

Green eyes specifically landed on a large jellyfish, all of them glowing green in the moment, but this particular one seemed to have to more of a hue. Lily’s eyes were kept on it, watching as it floated down, ever so slowly, and without a single care. However, as the jellyfish reached near the bottom of the tank before eventually floating back up, Lily’s eyes landed on something that stood on the opposite side. This something was a figure, one who noticed her, soon rushing away into the darkness.

“Hey, wait!” Lily watched as they left, then tapping her chin, asking whether or not she should go and follow whoever this was. After a minute or so, Lily nodded before she ran off and exited the jellyfish exhibit, coming into the light at the entrance before she heard something fall over on the ground. This caught Lily’s attention before she whipped her head around, spotting a flash of black before she followed it.

“Wait up!”

Lily saw as the figure dashed away into another one of the rooms, one labeled as Open Ocean. Hm, she hoped she didn’t fall into one of the mini oceans inside, but she knew her way around obviously. So, she ran inside and looked around, hearing footsteps to her right where she then headed to.

Glancing around, Lily found nothing, so she stood in place to listen once again, eventually hearing even the quietest of footsteps. She turned around, noticing that something moved in the darkness, two glowing orbs that she knew did not belong to any of the fish.

“Hey...I won’t hurt you. I pinky promise.” Lily gave a kind smile, stepping towards the darkness as the footsteps she heard signaled that the person was backing away from her. Lily however, didn’t care, or at least she didn’t seem to worry while hoping that whoever or whatever this was didn’t fear her.

“My name is Lilian, but you can call me Lily.” she softly spoke, seeing as the figure continued to step back until coming into the light they didn’t know was behind them due to a skylight. Lily then stopped walking, her expression turning into a confused one as black came into view, black hair, or fur actually.

“Whoa...you’re a...you’re a...” Lily breathed out, seeing as the figure now identified as a werewolf, still backed away. She noticed that it was rather small to all the other ones she had encountered or seen from afar, and it didn’t seem to be very threatening actually. In fact, it looked almost...scared.

“I won’t hurt you.” Lily repeated, taking a single step which made the werewolf immediately turn and jump away, not having realized that right behind was an open pond, thus causing them to jump right inside.

Lily gave a gasp, especially as she heard the werewolf give loud whines while splashing around which made Lily run towards the pond. She reached inside the pond which wasn’t as shallow as the others due to originally having contained stingrays. She eventually caught onto the werewolf’s limbs, attempting to pull it out of the water, though it proved difficult as it moved around so much in a panic.

“Stop moving! Let me help!” she exclaimed, eventually helping the werewolf out as it fell to the ground completely soaked. However, since it was no longer under the moonlight and instead in the darkness, Lily noticed that all the fur had gone to its head as human hair belonging to a boy who shivered on the ground while curled up.

Lily noticed he wasn’t wearing anything but a bandana around his neck, prompting her to shut her eyes and even cover them with her hands.on’t l-leave me

“You’re naked!” she exclaimed again, hearing as the boy gave loud breaths. “But, are you okay?”

“N-n-n-no....” he replied. “C-c-c-cold...”

“Right! Um, stay here! I will go to the shop and get you some stuff...like towels and clothes!” Lily announced, moving her free hand around as she attempted to maneuver herself through the area.

“W-wait.” came the boy’s voice, making Lily stop walking to listen to him. “Don’t...people....s-see me.”

“Don’t worry about that, um...what’s your name?” Lily turned around, uncovering her eyes to take a peek at the pale boy who was still trembling on the ground, and he unburied his face to look up at her. Lily noticed a lovely pair of blue eyes, making her feel somewhat funny in her belly.

“C-cold!”

“Right! Sorry!” Lily turned red, then turning to run away out of the exhibit.

______________

“So, what were you doing inside the aquarium all alone?”

Lily now sat beside the boy, both sitting on a bench that was in the darkness of the building. The boy still shivered, clutching on tightly to the towel wrapped around him. Beneath that, he wore souvenir clothes that Lily luckily found somewhere around, though they were pretty big on him.

“No...nobody’s here...I like to be a-alone.” he gave a soft shrug, water still dripping from his hair as he gave a sneeze. “I don’t like wa-wa-wa-water....”

“Then why the aquarium?”

“Nobody...expects, me...here.”

“Oh.” Lily gave a nod, then taking a peek at the boy’s face before he turned to look down at her. He was no doubt taller and something about him...something made Lily give a happy sigh as her belly felt funny and her cheeks warm, all in a nice way.

“What...what is it?”

“Nothing.” Lily fluttered her eyelashes, the boy noticing this as well as the fact that Lily was now leaning close to him which made him give a weird look.“What’s your name?”

“Name?”

“Uh huh.”

“Sch-Schrader...”

“Schrader?” Lily tilted her head before the boy gave a nod. “I like that name.”

“Lily!” came a voice, startling both of the kids, especially the boy. “Lily! Where’d you go?”

“I’ll be right back, it’s my mother.” Lily told Schrader, hopping off the bench before running off to eventually find Coraline.

“Lily! Where did you go?”

“To the ocean.” Lily giggled, then taking her mother’s hand. “I have to show you somebody I met!”

“Met? Was somebody else here?”

“Uh huh!” Lily dragged her mother through the aquarium, leading her back to the bench she had been sitting on a while ago to see...nothing but a towel. “Wait...”

“So, where’s this somebody?”

“He was right there!” Lily pointed before running over to the bench, noticing that there were still wet spots. However, she heard a caw, making her and Coraline turn to the side as a crow now flew down until landing on top of the towel.

“How’d that get in here?” Coraline furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, Lily turning to her with equal confusion in her features. “Is this your friend you were talking about?”

Lily glanced at the crow who gave another caw, its legs shifting before Lily gave a soft nod.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, little crow.”Coraline waved at the crow who surprisingly cawed in response. “Anyways, Lily, guess what?”

Lily took a glimpse of mother who flasher her fangs in an excited grin.

“My offer was accepted! The aquarium is ours now!” Coraline squealed before hugging Lily who hugged her back, no doubt just as excited as her mother. However, Lily was also quite...sad, if that was even the correct word to describe it. Her eyes glanced around, never noticing the blue eyes that peeked from behind a wall, their owner too scared to come into the light again.

[jalapeno-princess]

THIS IS A CHOI YOUNGJAE APPRECIATION POST Y’ALL LISTEN UP

For as long as I can remember, Youngjae has been the most under appreciated member of Got7 and is constantly bullied for not being as attractive nor as much of a good dancer as the others. I totally understand that they all equally get hate (THAT THEY DON’T FUCKING DESERVE) but it seems like Youngjae has been getting the most hate and he himself said that he is such a fragile person and the hate does get to him. He literally wrote a song about how he feels alone and he’s constantly tormented and treated unfairly by so many people and it makes me sad because he’s the actual sun?? Like, all he wants is to do whatever he can possible to help others. He might not be your bias, nor may he be considered attractive or talented in your eyes, but to me, he has one of the most beautiful souls, one of the most amazing voices, such a warm and bubbly personality, and puts everyone else before himself always. He loves to sing and has one of the strongest vocals in the Kpop industry. Even if he does get tired from doing their dances (Got7 are known to have one of the most amazing dancing teams in Kpop) he is known to be one of the best dancers. Their dance teacher said so himself. He is very vocal about supporting the boat accident that happened in 2014. He even got a tattoo of it on his arm to remember the horrific event. When he first debuted, he said that if he weren’t an idol, he would be a music therapist because he wanted to help heal kids who have illnesses, by music. He recently wrote a song with Park Jimin to raised awareness on suicide. The members constantly feel the need to protect him from the dangers of this evil world we live in. WE DO NOT DESERVE CHOI YOUNGJAE. He loves and cares so much for his fans and he does whatever he can to make us happy. He’s a literal 5-year-old in a 22-year-olds body and I have this constant want to take him under my wing and protect him. Do y’all not see how much he loves and cares for Coco?! And how he can’t even do a sexy dance because he’s so shy??? Even if you don’t stan Got7 (baby gurl what is you doin? START STANNING) pls do not send any hate to our poor sweet baby otter. He deserves the entire world. His personality is so bright, the sun is jealous. Just listen to his laugh, it is deadass the cute to cancer. DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HIS AEGYO. He’s literally every member’s favorite member and they’re all so soft for him. So, before you start assuming you know Youngjae, or any Got7 member, don’t you dare send hate to this cute lil baby. I will admit, when I first got in to Got7, I didn’t pay too much attention to Youngjae. But the more videos and performances I saw, and when I saw them in person, I immediately fell in love with him. I love Choi Youngjae. His personality makes him even more handsome SO DON’T YOU HATERS DARE CALL HIM FAT, UGLY OR UNTALENTED HE COULD PROBABLY BUY YOUR ENITRE FAMILY. Btw, I took this video at the “Eyes on you” tour in LA and Youngjae constantly kept coming on our side and was constantly interacting with us he’s the cutest lil bean AND WHEN HE POINTED TO ME MY SOUL LEFT MY ASS. That man can SING let me tell you. And he is so beautiful in person DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HIS LEGS I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Btw, y’all blind as FUCK if you think Youngjae is ugly he is so FINE Y’ALL NEED TO SEE UR OPTOMETRIST I THINK YA EYES FUCKED UP NICHKUN deadass called him Got7’s visual when they first debuted so SUCK A CHODE HOES

[severusish]

I agree with this partly, and at the same time I think we need to remember the whole “unrequited love” premise which was sort of set up by Tonks’ Patronus before we ever found out about Snape’s in canon.

Here are my thoughts.

In canon it was never “obsession” that Snape felt. It was unrequited love. And that’s not impure, it’s just a sad kind of love.

Tonks’ Patronus changed to Remus’s, which was a wolf.

And Severus’s Patronus changed from whatever it might have been originally, to a doe, which was Lily’s.

Both are examples of unrequited love — or at least, longing. Not obsession.

Also I don’t think that Lily’s Patronus being a doe and James’s Patronus being a stag means anything. It’s pure coincidence, but it makes their relationship look like it was “meant to be.”

In 2007 JKR said that a Patronus can mutate depending on your mutual feelings in a relationship — because your partner can become your happiest thought, and that’s how your Patronus can change. This article says that it’s possible James’s Patronus was different before he truly fell in love with Lily.

Also. Harry’s Patronus is a stag. Ginny Weasley’s is a horse. It is very rare that Patronuses change to match that of one’s partner.

Ron’s Patronus is a Jack Russell terrier. Hermione’s is an otter. I saw one fic out there that did a brilliant HC explanation of why Hermione’s Patronus is an otter; but anyway. They get married in canon and their Patronuses are completely unrelated.

Snape’s Patronus would have morphed to become a doe as soon as his feelings for Lily became realized OR as soon as she became his happiest memory. Which wouldn’t be hard to do given the shortage of happy memories in his life.

I think the gender of the Patronus has nothing to do with Snape himself. I think it just shows that he’s a man with layers and a complex identity who also is capable of long term abiding love AND whose single happiest memory for all those years continues to be that of the girl he’d once been best friends with.

You can read into it whatever you like, whether you’re pro-Snape and think the Patronus alludes to his more feminine nature, or anything else (which I agree with) — but ALSO, in my view the Patronus he took had a lot to do with the state of his feelings for Lily and/or the fact that she played a major part in his happiest memory.

I think we can all agree that Snape is a fluid individual. He’s dichotomous, an oxymoron, a contradiction, a blend of many things. Light, and dark. Sadness, and joy. Anger, and peace. Good, and evil. Strength, and weakness. Feminine, and masculine.

Whether his Patronus is indicative of that — I’m not so sure. But I do have a headcanon that Snape is at the very least bisexual, and enjoys dressing in an androgynous way. It makes sense in a way I can’t explain.

Anyway, I agree with the post above. These are just some thoughts.

Thanks,

- ish.

Some midnight thoughts

The patronus debate. How exhausting it is to hear that two same patronus means obsession, but only on some occasions (*cough* only when you want it to be *cough*).

The patronus is a representation of self, right? The pure, happy side of yourself. When you conjure a patronus, you need to think of a happy moment. Why do people forget that PURE and OBSESSION don't get along? If the patronus is something pure, it can't be obsession.

And it can change once you have eternal love for someone.

Why the hell are we all talking about romantic love? Platonic love is as worthy and as powerful. Nevertheless, why use such a heteronormative concept for the patronus? The gender of those patronus shouldn't even matter, especially not in a fandom that is so against Rowling for being a TERF and using all those stereotypes about genders in the books.

Let's say Tonk's patronus is female. Why would it be female? Isn't one of her main headcanons is that she's nonbinary? What if the goddamn wolf was a male, just like Remus? Would that be shocking? Would that be obsession, too?

Snape's patronus is female, so what? Let's assume it changed to be the same as Lily. What's the problem with it? They don't "match" each other because they're not hetero? Who cares. It shows that Snape's only happiness comes from Lily. I've never understood why it meant obsession to some people.

Maybe Snape's patronus had always been a doe, for all we know. Snape's gender identity is something very interesting. What if he was NOT (shocking) a heterosexual man? The fandom is always very quick to say who's LGBTQ and who's not depending on who they like and who they don't like, but that's for another debate.

What if Snape was a transfeminine? Demigirl? Etc.?

What if Snape hates male energy?

He prefers the company of women, that's canon. Maybe he feels more like himself when surrounded by female energy. That wouldn't be surprising if his patronus would be female then.

What I mean to say is why the fuck does the gender of the patronus matters when it comes to "love or obsession".

I personally don't understand how I think that Snape's patronus being a doe to represent his love for Lily is so sweet, that he never stopped caring for her, but at the same time, some people think it's the absolute nastiest shit they've ever seen.

What if Snape's patronus was a stag? They'd definitely call it creepy. Snape is such a sexual beast!

The problem people have with Snape's patronus is not the patronus itself. It's that it is Snape.

[nicksilveirart]

(SING!) Story Not Told, chapter 12 – Tears in Heaven

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9 (MATURE)

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Click here to read chapter 12:

"No! I mean... Yes, he's in there and not coming out. I've tried that! That also. You're what? No, not today. At least let the guy get a good night of sleep before that. Knowing him, he'll be up first thing in the morning. Okay. Go ahead, I'll just... Keep trying. Thanks." Eddie was whispering into the speaker, then turning his attention to the door in front of him. "Buster, you can't hide in there forever!" He knocked for the, he figured, billionth time. "Open up!" He could make out soft cries and sobs on the other side. The knob turned to reveal the theatre owner. Buster was a mess, and felt like such. Sniffing, he looked up at the much taller sheep. "Yes?" "I ordered pizza." "I'm not hungry, Eddie." He forced himself to smile at his friend. It was not his fault he had destroyed the theatre and was now headline news, right? "But thanks." "Okay, forget the pizza. Wanna play something?" "Nah, I'm good… I think I'm gonna call it a day." He rested down on an inflatable bed, and looked up at the TV. Citizens are shocked, and it's a miracle anyone survived this great disaster. Whilst Moon has not been found to give interview, sources say- Eddie quickly grabbed the remote, and turned the TV off. "You don't have to listen to this, you're beating yourself up as it is." He sat near his friend. "I deserve it." He chuckled sadly. "Let alone destroying the theatre, Eddie, I could've killed everyone. I deserve everything they're saying." "You could've gotten yourself killed back there, that occurred to you?" He froze for a second, thinking about his girlfriend. He could be the biggest loser he knew, but someone saw something in him. Ash wanted to be near him, a fraud or not. And she would've been sad if he had died, or so he figured. "Now it did." "So don't beat yourself up too hard over this." He flopped onto the couch. "Anyways… That girl that was here today?" Buster's ears perked up. "What about her?" "I've never seen you so comfortable around a girl before." The sheep laughed. "Well…" He pulled the sheets over himself. "Can't be all awkward around the cast, right?" "Except for she's not cast anymore. She was here with no competition up." Good god. The koala definitely didn't like where this was heading. "Yes?" "Dude… You like her or something?" He shrugged. "Maybe." Eddie looked at him intently. "Okay, we're together." "That's awesome news, man! Congrats!" "Thanks." He smiled. "How long?" "A couple days." "While the competition was still up?" He raised a brow. "Hey, if it was for that she wouldn't come here." Buster sighed. The same assumption Lance had made, and it was enough to make his stomach turn. He knew her, Ash wouldn't go that low. "True." He yawned. "Good night, Buster." "Night, Eddie."

Ash walked towards her apartment. That had been a busy day. The whole theatre coming crashing down aside, she had been walking for a good hour before finally catching sight of the NYC suburb-styled building she lived at. However, that wasn't the only thing she got a glimpse of. "Oh no…" She hid in a bush just on the other street, and peaked her head out. "Come on, why are you doing this to me?" Just outside the door, sat her mother and father. "You never cared before, you never- Goddamn it…" No way in hell she was going to face her parents. Turning around, she silently prayed they hadn't spotted her as she walked in another direction. Tara was laying down at the couch, re-watching Two and a Half Moose, and laughing to herself at the stupidest things said by the characters. After a tiring day directing many crew members around a set, she gave herself a marathon of her favorite series as a reward. She loved directing, but couldn't deny it was a ton of work. Holding onto a bucket of popcorn, she slowly drifted into sleep. Between an episode and another, the doorbell rang, and she woke up in a jolt, dripping popcorn all over the place, and falling over it. The doorbell rang again, and she stumbled her way over to the door. "Who is it?!" She asked, distressed. "It's Ash! I kinda… Need a place to stay. My parents are keeping guard at my house." Tara quickly opened the door. "I'm sorry, okay? They put me against the wall, your brother said we had seen you, and-" "Whoa there!" Ash laughed. "I'm not complaining, Tara. Actually I kinda expected that to happen, I knew he wasn't going to keep secret. I just need to crash somewhere and well… You're the one friend I've got that won't smoke weed through the night." "Oh. Uh… Get in." She stepped aside. "Thanks." Getting inside, the rocker rested her guitar case by the door, quickly noticing the mess in front of the TV. She burst out laughing. "What happened here?" "You happened here." Tara smirked. "I was watching TV, eating some popcorn, and fell asleep." "I told you many times you gotta learn how to sleep in a bed." She said, plopping herself onto the couch. "I will soon, mom." The otter shot back. "Wanna watch something?" "Whatever you are watching." "Fox is having a Two and a Half Moose marathon." "Two and a Half Moose it is." "Great." Tara flopped herself onto the couch. "If you're hungry, there's popcorn all around." "Pass." In-between episodes, breaking news showed the destroyed theatre. Tara looked at her. "Well, this happened." "Damn! Moon put a massive tank in there?!" "Moon built a massive tank in there. Using practically anything he could find that was made of glass." Tara's jaw dropped. "Are you okay? I mean… Your chance to perform your original and all." "Yeah, I'm good. I talked to Buster, about putting the show together again, he told me to call him tomorrow." Tara laughed. "He gave you his number?" "No, we are going use telepathy." Tara laughed. "You moron." "He just wanted you to call him." She winked. "You think he has a crush on me, don't you?" "First praising your talent, then the song, and now he asks you to call him? Pretty sure he does." "A bit old for me, don't you think?" "As long as he makes you happy." Ash raised an eyebrow at her friend, smirking. "Wait, no way!" "Yes, we are." "Tell me how it happened!" "We were at the theatre, and kissed. No big deal." The otter was listening expectantly. "The tank who caused all this? He got squids to perform there. Yesterday, he took me there and showed what he had planned, and we kissed." "Was it good?" Tara was holding onto a cushion. "It was great. We kissed and, well… You know. Everything happened fast, but it was nice." The other girl held a hand up. "He took you to bed with him?" "More like I took him to bed with me." Ash laughed. "Straight-forward. Was it good?" The teenager nodded. "Great." Both girls turned to the TV in time to see the adjectives that were being thrown at Buster, and Ash could only hope he wasn't watching the news. She was almost asleep when her phone rang, startling both girls. Groggily, she picked up the phone. "Hello?" She yawned and rubbed her eyes, suddenly jolting awake. "Oh hey, Miss Crawly."

On the other side of town, Lance finished another gig with his current girlfriend Becky. House wasn't full, but they had gotten a decent amount of claps. Offstage, they shared a drink. Performing mostly in bars, it was more than usual for them to get one or two shots on the house. It was also around this time that the only folks you could find around were drunk animals singing karaoke, band members chilling out, or stoners from around town. "Well done, babes." "Thanks. You feeling better?" "Getting there." He rubbed ice along his bruised arm. "I swear, I was this close to kicking his ass." Before Becky could reply, a female voice laughed right behind them. "Sure you were." "Don't you have a better place to be, Laura?" Lance replied, annoyed. "My shift's over, I'm just another employee enjoying a drink." "Go defend your boyfriend someplace else." "He hates me just as much as he hates you, Lance. Know why? We're both cheaters. And you know you deserved it, talking about that girl like that." "Did you eavesdrop on us?" "More like heard it on accident." Becky stared at her. Laura merely smirked as she took another sip of her margarita. "You teenagers shift emotions towards someone so fast… And when you look back you see you made a mistake." "If you start talking like a wise old lady I'm gonna throw up." The other girl snickered. The three of them laughed. "I'm not that old, and I don't have to be the wise lady. Time will teach you, Lance. Breaking other's hearts isn't cool." "Why don't you go bother another cheater?" "I don't know another cheater." Laura laughed, as she rested a couple $5 bills on the counter. "Gonna get in line for karaoke." "Don't blow our ears up!" Becky mocked, and both porcupines laughed. "I'm not worse than the two of you, don't worry." She walked away. The two lovers, in lack of a better program, proceeded to listen to Laura's singing. They would never tell her, but she had just a fine voice, and pulled Ewe Clapton's Tears in Heaven just fine. Not too long after, one of the TV's in the bar started showing news from the incident at the Moon Theatre. Becky quickly turned to the bartender. "Hey, put that up please? Lance, look!" Both of them turned just in time to see the site the theatre used to occupy destroyed, chairs and bricks everywhere. Lance's jaw dropped, and he soon replaced it with a smirk. "Suits the koala just fine." He laughed. "A handmade fish tank? Seriously? He thought that was gonna work? And to think Ash traded me for that idiot." "I know, right?" Giggling, Becky got off of her chair and motioned for Laura to look at the TV. The koala got distracted for a second and, upon finishing her song, ran to the counter. "Good lord…" She couldn't help but remember all times Buster had told her about the theatre, how much he loved directing and how close him and his dad were of buying it. The times he worked at the car wash after school, sometimes even missing their dates, to clean a couple more cars. All for that place. And there it was: his beloved theatre reduced to ashes. "Hey, you know what? Now that the guy's probably curled on himself crying, might just be the best time to win him back." Laura stared up at the porcupine. "Come on, don't be mad, I just want to reunite the lovebirds." Lance moved closer, and started messing with her ears. They twitched. Without another word, she kicked his chair, and the much younger male fell face first on the ground. "Might as well tell Buster he doesn't have to fix your buck teeth anymore."

[cyjprojectarchive]

GOT7!!!!!!!!!!

alright, folks  *cracks knuckles* it’s gna get real in here jk i don’t rly crack my knuckles bec i get freaked out hearing the sounds dkjdfhd

my time period as a fan / i’ve known of them since around march-april of 2016 but my status of being a ‘stan’ was quite on and off…. my gf was the one who introduced me to the ~world of kpop~ hence showing me bts first, which i still love them a lot lot !!!! BUT when i asked her some other groups she knows of, she told me about got7 and and….. i found myself falling deeper and deeper for these 7 adorkable dorks,,,, and that’s when i knew they’re my first ult group ;; altho the following months i wasn’t able to keep up with them bec of irl issues…. but it resurfaced late 2016 and early 2017, and i’m sososo glad i went back :’))))

my bias among the members & why / i have 3 ultimate biases so buckle up bec i want to talk about all three of them sdajkdks. ok? u ready? here we go. 

starting off with my very first kpop bias/ult of ults: jackson wang!! what can i say?? it may have helped that my focus was more on him when i was just getting to know them that he was also the only member my gf really knew in the group, but all throughout ‘researching’ got7 and watching their dp’s and reality shows,,, he really just captured this fragile heart of mine. i saw genuine passion in his actions, in his eyes, in his voice !! and up until now, although some undesirable events have happened…… , i still believe his heart of gold remains intact - and i can still totally see that. he’s not just here for the money. he’s here for the experience, for the happiness and i’m - i easily fell in love for him because of that. 

then we have park jinyoung - oh jinyoungie. funny story !!! one of my best friends actually ults him (and yugyeom) so i told myself not to give any of these two more attention than necessary bec problems will arise BUT. she also kinda went on a short hiatus with kpop when i returned, and as the good friend that i am i tweeted her pictures of her mans as a way to persuade her to come back…. but as i did all those supportive things…. little did i know i started falling for this dude :// and i couldn’t help it :// his sarcasm and his charms just pulled me in and i :/// haven’t recovered since :///

OK THEN WE HAVE THE ONE AND ONLY LORENZO CHOI YOUNGJAE. my dear,, my heart,,,, my bright and happy sunshine…light of my rainy skies…. where do i begin.. he’s always had a special place in my got7 hort bec his laughs turn my sour mood upside down every time…. and then i focused on his vocals a bit more…then his soundcloud stuff…then never ever era arrived and i,,, my hort just stopped because good god he looks so freaking stunning and his voice is a stunner and his personality is just beaming with cheerfulness i….. knew it was time to ult this dork….. he has 2 v distinct sides and one of them is rarely seen and thats his “sad” persona… sad in a way that makes him create sUCH EMOTIONALLY WRECKING songs,,, like he stays up until 1:31 am ;) thinking about feelings and incorporating them into music,,,,, and then there’s his bubbly otter self which…is self-explanatory he exudes life hhh off his breathless chuckles, reverberating chortles, and his never ending slaps on other members’ chest !!! let’s not forget his love for coco !!! i’m a sucker for a man in love with his dog….and he did that :’’’))))))

favorite song /  i have a lot of favorite songs… i already mentioned ‘angel’ before so i’m gna say smth else for this one heh…. see the light !! oh goodness gracious me does that song still gives me chills ~~~ and YOUNGJAE’S PART. JUST LISTEN TO YOUNGJAE’S PART, the english translation,,, and live recordings of the song…….i been dedfavorite mv / i’m a slut for fly era so fly it is… (although i have a huge thing for got the stage paradise….oops)

favorite choreo / i’ve already answered this too before! if you do is def up there! paradise and angel too gaddam gaddam am i sweating ;;;; fly is also rly cool to me !!favorite era / bih what is my tumblr usernamecutest member / yugyeom… as much as i love sexci yugyeom…… he’s such a dorky dork i want to hug him so bad…. then there’s mork :’))))))) giggly mark gives me fluttery feels

sexiest member / jackson freaking wang shhhh best friend member / yugbam. imagine being best friends with yugbam ;;;; their got jackson show bit itself is proof that they invented best friendships jdkjdjhs

best smile / youngjae i luv him his smile turns grey skies into rainbowsfavorite rapper / bambam has such a unique rapping style, ngl !! but jackson’s hoarse voice gets me all mmmhm ;;;;

favorite vocalist / is this even a question….. it’s youngjae. (but jinyoung is close too) but youngjae gaddam youngjae’s voice….there’s such a power and intense emotional depth to it i swoonfavorite dancer / i love them all ;;; but yugyeom and jaebum are def up there tho,,, they really know what they’re doing and they know what they’re doing to mewhat i see for them in the future / oh lord this is already TOO FREAKING LONG BUT WHATEVER IF YOU’RE STILL READING OMHFGO IM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH MY MINDLESS RAMBLING BUT HERE I GO

first of all, i want them to rest. lmao they’ve done so much, we’ve been fed so much they deserve at least three weeks of break. as in, no promotions, no schedules, no guestings, no nothing. it’s just them sleeping, eating their hearts out, and hanging out with friends and family. 

secondly, i just see them getting bigger and bigger from here. i know there’s been a few issues lately…..but i believe their true fans would rise above them and believe in what got7 has to offer. these people have proven themselves to be so passionate and so hard working, so i only expect greater things being put out there for their fans as well as themselves. 

heq… i luv got7 so much idk how else to describe my wishes for them in the future…. all i know is that i’m gna be with them for a long ass while, and amidst all the obstacles, i’m gna fight thru it with them, learn with them, and cheer them on until the very end (hopefully) sjddskd

[renjunvinates]

Lost

Characters: Im Jaebum x You || Choi Youngjae x You

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Length: 2534

So here’s another new story ((-: Enjoy my sad trash story with some fluff. 

~~~~

Today was a special day with Im Jaebum the love of your life. You loved Jaebum more than anything. He was your everything and you were his everything. You and Jaebum were still going strong and you hoped you guys would last forever. On the other hand, you had your best guy friend Choi Youngjae. You and Youngjae have been friends for 2 years. Before dating Jaebum you were head over heels for Youngjae, although you stopped liking Youngjae because you thought he never liked you, but also from time to time you and Youngjae would stop talking and you thought there was no point in liking Youngjae. So liking Youngjae would be on and off for you but no matter how hard you tried getting over Youngjae you couldn’t. Until you recently stopped talking to Youngjae and Jaebum came into your life. He caught your attention from afar but you never acted upon trying to get with him. But one day you heard he and his girlfriend broke up and you were wondering if Jaebum was okay, so you texted him and asked him if he was okay. Turns out he was okay. The next past few days after Jaebum and his girlfriend broke up, you and Jaebum got closer which lead to Jaebum taking Youngjae best friend spot. After that, before you knew it you fell for Jaebum and Jaebum fell for you. 2 weeks passed and you and Jaebum finally got together and decided to date January 17. It’s now April 17 the first day of spring but also your 3 month anniversary with Jaebum.

Although it was your 3 month anniversary with Jaebum,you had small plans later in the day. Jackson begged you to help him with his special event for your best friend Tiffany, because Jackson was crushing super hard on Tiffany (Not Tiffany from SNSD), and Tiffany was your best friend. In all honestly you shipped Jackson and Tiffany super hard to the point where you were super down to help him. You and Jaebum had planned to go out and eat and then head home and just have cuddles and movie marathons because both you and Jaebum decided it was going to be anniversary tradition now. Due to Jaebum being busy all the time you guys wouldn’t have cuddles so often or movie marathons. So cuddles and movie marathons was your most favorite thing to do with him. You spent most of your day just in bed with him and cuddling him and giving him small kisses and watched Finding Dory, Monster Inc, and Ponyo. Kid movies were you and Jaebum weakness. Even though Jaebum seemed sexy and chic he was actually the most cutest fluffball ever. Time passed by so fast you forgot that you had that special event for Jackson. You hesitantly told Jaebum about it, he was slightly moody and angry about it but you told him that this was for your best friend Tiffany and he was nice enough to let it slide. You gave Jaebum the fattest hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “ I love you Im Jaebum, I’ll come back as soon as possible because today is a special day still,” You said while smiling, you blew a kiss to Jaebum and he smiled back and caught your kiss and gave you a finger heart. Your cheeks became bright red. You thought to yourself. “Man, even after 3 months and he still makes me blush like crazy,”

You headed out the door and called Jackson. “ Yah, Jackson I’m on my way. Where do you want to meet up?” You asked. “Ah (Y/N)! I was planning to meet at my house, Tiffany coming over later!” Jackson said excitedly. “Alright,” You replied back. You headed to Jackson house and entered the door. You saw all of your friends even including Youngjae. You haven’t seen Youngjae in a while and from time to time you and Youngjae would talk. Ever since you and Jaebum dated, you and Youngjae faded. Although it hurt, it was best to lock those feelings away and only focused on Jaebum. You greeted Youngjae awkwardly and he did the same. Something about Youngjae seemed super off but you just pushed it off to the side. Jackson came up to you and

gave you a hugged and thanked you for helping him. “(Y/N)! Thank you so much for helping me!!” Jackson said while hugging you. “Yeah no problem! I just want Tiffany to be happy!” You replied back. Jackson was prepping around making sure everything was perfect. You greeted all of your friends and giving them all small hugs. Until finally Jackson started screaming. “GUYS TIFFANY COMING SHHHHH!!” Jackson yelled nervously. Everyone hid and turned off the lights to make the room dark. Tiffany was about to ring the doorbell and until Jackson attempted to open the door calmly but failed. Lets just say he pulled the door too strong and quickly, you peeked behind the sofa and noticed Tiffany face looked quite shocked. “Jackson how did you know I was gonna open the door?” Tiffany asked in shocked. “I’m just slicked like that,” Jackson said with a smirk. You literally wanted to puke, it was cringe. Jackson let Tiffany in the house and she entered in. Jackson pulls out a necklace and puts its around her neck from behind, he then hugs her from behind. “Hey Tiff, I know it's been short but I really like you and want you to be mine,” Jackson said. You took another quick look and saw Tiffany with the most happiest smile you’ve ever seen. She turns around and hugs Jackson and yells out yes. This was our queue to jump out and yell out surprise. “1 - 2 - 3 SURPRISEEEE!” We all shouted. Tiffany screamed in shocked. “What?? What’s all of this??” Tiffany asked. You went up to Tiffany and gave her a fat hug. “It’s your congratulations party for you and Jackson finally getting together,” You said while hugging her. “ AWEEEE, BEST FRIEENNNDDDD DID YOU DO THIS FORR MEEE???” She asked while squeezing you. “Haha… Tiffany I love you and all but this was Jackson’s idea, cos he really likes you,” You said while struggling to breathe. Tiffany finally released you from the hug and took your hand. “Come on, let's go to Youngjae!” Tiffany grinned. You were unsure about going to Youngjae but you decided to just go with it. Before Jaebum came into your life and Jackson came into Tiff’s life, It was you, Youngjae, and Tiffany. The three of you were a trio and would always go out and hang out with each other, but ever since Jaebum came in and Jackson came in. We all split apart and the trio was very unactive. Tiffany dragged you to Youngjae and greeted Youngjae. He greeted back to Tiffany, and greeted you too. Sadly you awkwardly greeted Youngjae again and Tiffany gave you a weird look. “(Y/N), why are you so awkward, you guys are close. Why are you being weird,” Tiffany asked while glaring at you. You looked at Tiffany and just shrugged. “Y’know what, I’m going to leave and you and Youngjae so you two can catch up, and get rid of the awkwardness,” Tiffany said while smiling. You looked at Tiffany and you gave her the death look. Tiffany smiled at you sweetly and went off to Jackson.

The tension between you and Youngjae was really awkward and intense, you didn’t know what to do, so you awkwardly stood there waiting for the tension to break and luckily the tension broke.

“Why are you being so awkward with me (Y/N)?” Youngjae asked quiety. “Youngjae.. It’s just been a while.. Since we’ve talked..” You slowly said. “Well, that doesn’t mean anything.. Does it?” Youngjae asked trying to make eye contact with you. “I mean.. I guess not?” You said looking at Youngjae. “So I heard you and Jaebum are dating,” Youngjae mentioned while looking at you. For some reason that hurt your heart that he mentioned that to you. “Yeah, we are..” You said and looked away. “Well if he makes you happy, then good for you,” Youngjae said. You looked at Youngjae and you saw a small smile. You thanked Youngjae. “Thanks Youngjae,” You said looking at him and smiling. “Well hey, would you look at that you’re finally smiling while talking to me,” Youngjae grinned. You rolled your eyes at Youngjae and you started smiling naturally. “Seem’s like you’re still the same Youngjae.. A huge LOSER,” You said while laughing. “Of course! I’m the best loser out there duhhh!!” Youngjae said. Finally you and Youngjae were starting to getting comfortable with each other again and started talking like old times. “Wow, we haven’t talked like this since forever,” Youngjae said. You nodded and agreed with him. Tiffany walked over to you and Youngjae noticing you guys weren’t awkward anymore. “WELLL, look at you guys now. Talking to each other like besties again!!” Tiffany said with an excitement tone. You glanced over to Youngjae seeing his face turned a little bit red. You wondered why but didn’t put much thought into it. You noticed the time and realized that you should head back to Jaebum.

You told Tiffany you needed to go. Tiffany asked you to stay even longer but you told her you needed to head back to Jaebum because today was your anniversary. Tiffany frowned but she understood the situation. You also told Jackson and he frowned but thanked you for helping him out. You were about to head out but then you saw Youngjae by the door. “Wow, no goodbye for your sea otter?” Youngjae asked. You looked at Youngjae and smiled. “Sorry Sunshine! But I gotta go,” You said. “Do I least get a hug??” Youngjae asked. You were shocked but you decided to hug Youngjae after all you and Youngjae are just friends. You hugged Youngjae and waved goodbye and headed back to Jaebum house. You called Jaebum and told him you were heading back to his place. “Jaeee, I just finished helping Jackson! I’m heading over right now!” You said with excitement. “How did it go?” Jaebum asked. You told Jaebum you would tell him everything once you came back.

You arrived at Jaebum house and entered the house and ran to Jaebum and hugged him from behind. “I’m back babe,” You said with a bright smile. “Welcome back (Y/N),” Jaebum said while looking at you from behind. Jaebum turned around and gave you a tight hug. Both you and Jaebum went to the couch and cuddled again and you began telling him the events at Jackson’s place. You were a bit hesitant about telling him about seeing Youngjae because Jaebum knows about you and Youngjae history. “I saw Youngjae..and we talked..” You trailed off. Jaebum looked at you with those sad eyes. “Really, did anything happen between you?” Jaebum asked with concerned. “No, of course not!!” You shouted. “Good,” Jaebum said, you noticed hugging you tightly. “Hey babe, what's gotten into you all of sudden?” You questioned. “You’re mine (Y/N). I don’t want to lose you,” Jaebum said hugging you even more tightly. You took Jaebum hands and made him release you from his hug and sat back up and looked at him. “Yah! Im Jaebum!! I only love you, and of course you’re only mine too. It’s our anniversary, no sadness, ok?” You said while looking at Jaebum straight in the eye. Jaebum pulled you back down and made you lay back down so he could wrap his arms around you. “You’re such a dork, I love you (Y/N),” Jaebum said. “Yeah, but I’m your one and only dork,” You said while turning around and looking at Jaebum’s face. Jaebum pulled you in closer and kissed you on the lips. You blushed and kissed him back. Then you guys started kissing each other faces: nose, cheeks, forehead. Just anywhere on the face, you guys would laugh like dorks and snuggle into each others chest.

Time past by really quick and you needed to head back home sadly. Jaebum guided you to the door and both of you looked at each other and frowned. “I don’t want to leave yet,” You said while frowning. “I feel the same way, but it’s getting late..” Jaebum said while frowning and trailing off. You hugged Jaebum tightly and kissed him on the lips. You released him from the kissed and  hug and looked at him and smiled brightly at him. “Have a goodnight Jae, I’ll text you when I get home,” You said. “Happy 3 month today, I enjoyed it very much,” Jaebum said giving you a smile. You couldn’t help it but hug him once more. You hugged him once more tightly and released your arms from the hug and waved him goodbye and headed out the door.

You finally arrived at home and you were dead beat tired. Today was a good day. You texted Jaebum and told him you arrived home safely and you were going to go get ready for bed. “Jae, just got home and I’m tired. I’m gonna head to bed early tonight! Btw today was amazing! Happy 3 Month. I love youuuu so much,” You typed and sent it to Jaebum. After finishing prepping for bed. All of a sudden Youngjae calls you for a facetime. You didn’t know what to do, but instead you decided to answer it. “Youngjae, what's up?” You asked. “Nothing, just kinda bored,” Youngjae replied. You looked at Youngjae and noticed he looked very sad. “Youngjae, is there something wrong??” You asked. “Huh? No of course not” Youngjae said with a fake smile. “Youngjae.. I’ve known you for a while now, and you’re giving me a bullshit smile,” You said in a serious tone. “You caught me aha... you know me so well (Y/N),” Youngjae said. “What's wrong sea otter?” You asked with concerned. “I’m just lost??” Youngjae trailed off. “Elaborate,” You said. “Well.. There’s this girl.. I’ve liked her for a very long time, but she’s dating someone.. And it hurts..” Youngjae said cutting eye contact with you. “It’s ok Sea Otter!! Maybe she’ll notice you!” You said trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t think so.. Her relationship with the boy seems stabilized..” Youngjae said. “Well are you going to tell her?” You asked. “Idk.. maybe??” Youngjae replied. You looked at Youngjae and he seemed really sad about this. “Well Youngjae, if you really like her. Prove it to her and tell her!!” You said. “(Y/N).. I don’t think you understand..” Youngjae said. “Youngjae just tell her,” You said. “No, You don’t understand,” Youngjae said with an angry tone. You were a bit shocked, “Look, I just wanted you to be happy.. Sor-” Youngjae cut you off. “NO. YOU DON’T GET IT, BECAUSE I LIKE YOU (Y/N), BUT YOU’RE WITH JAEBUM,” Youngjae yelled. Youngjae realized what he had just said to you and he immediately ended the call. You dropped your phone and it fell to the floor and quietly stood there lost in the moment.

  ~~~~

Jaebum Ver. Youngjae Ver.

If you enjoyed this then wow thanks. There will be a Jaebum ver. and a Youngjae ver. -- If you want to end up with Jaebum that will be the Jaebum ver. If you want to end up with Youngjae then that will be the Youngjae ver.

O . K Thanks for reading 

[rpf-bat]

Tonight Belongs To Me

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Request fic for @streetlightthisdarknight . “please a do part three for sing a song for california plEASE PLEASEEE// iloveyousomuch bye.”

A/N: OK FINE HERE YA GO lol

And for any readers that aren’t caught up, here’s part 1 (x) and part 2 (x). 

The plane ride was five hours long.  You didn’t care. You were going to see your boyfriend, Gerard, for the first time since October, and that was all that mattered.

You’d spent the last hour or so of your flight listening to I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. You remembered two years ago, when Gerard had excitedly handed you one of the first copies of the CD ever made. Back then, he was just so happy to have made an album, at all. You nostalgically recalled the laughably janky studio he and the band had recorded it in. It was in the basement of their friend’s house, who still lived with his mom. You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the older woman, in a thick Jersey accent, shouting down the stairs that “yous guys” were going to have to pause the recording, because she had to run the vacuum.

Now, Gerard was in a real, professional studio in L.A., recording his sophomore album with a major label that had signed incredible bands in the past, like Green Day. He’d come such a long way. You were so proud of him.

“Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking,” said the pilot’s voice over the flight’s intercom. “We will be landing shortly in Los Angeles. Please keep your seatbelts securely fastened as we make our descent. Thank you for flying with American Airlines.”

You looked out your window, eager to catch your first glimpse of the West Coast. You smiled with anticipation as you thought of Gerard, waiting for you in the airport below.

The plane landed smoothly, and you fidgeted impatiently as you waited for the passengers in the seats in front of you to disembark. Finally, you grabbed your suitcase out of the overhead compartment, and started for the door.

As you exited the plane, you looked around the terminal for Gerard. You used to be able to meet people right here, you recalled. Then, you remembered that since September 11th happened three years ago, security had gotten tighter, and now you couldn’t enter this part of the airport without a boarding pass. You still weren’t used to these little ways in which the world had changed.

You saw a sign with an arrow directing you towards the baggage claim. He’s probably waiting for me over there, you realized, and began walking in that direction. You stopped to eye the palm trees out the window as you walked down the stairs. So, this was California. By summer, it would be your new home. You smiled as you imagined waking up in a new apartment with Gerard, hearing the Pacific waves crashing just outside your bedroom window.

It’s really going to happen, you thought happily, thinking of the apartment listing links Gerard had emailed you the week before.

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw a familiar head of jet-black hair standing just beside Baggage Claim A.  

“GEE!” you cried, dropping your suitcase on the ground, and breaking into a run.

“Y/N!” Gerard gasped, and caught your racing body in his warm arms. He pulled you close and greeted you with a searing, passionate kiss, filled with all the unfulfilled desires of the autumn you’d spent apart. You held him tight, refusing to release his eager mouth as you wound your fingers into his hair and ran your hands over his familiar body.

You pulled away, embarrassed, when a stranger cleared their throat awkwardly, trying to get past you to pick up their luggage.

“It’s good to see you, Gerard,” you muttered pinkly, burying your face into his shirt and breathing in the scent you’d missed oh so much, of coffee and smoke and ink and man.

“I missed you so much, baby,” Gerard replied, hugging you tightly, as if he would never let you go, ever again.

“I missed you, too,” you told him, drinking in the sight of his face after so long, like he was water and you had just spent forty nights in the desert. “Thank you so much for getting me that plane ticket, baby.”

“Thank Brian,” Gerard smiled softly. “That’s my manager. I’m so happy he talked Reprise into paying for it.”

“You’ll have to introduce me to Brian later,” you nodded. “I want to see the guys, too. I’ve missed them. How are they?”

“They’re great,” Gerard grinned. “Frank and Ray are so proud of the guitar riffs they’ve composed together for this album, and Mikey can’t wait to go on tour.”

“I bet you’re going to sell a million records,” you smiled.

“You haven’t even heard the album yet,” Gerard laughed.

“Yeah, but I just know it’s going to be amazing, because it’s you,” you said, squeezing your boyfriend affectionately.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Gerard blushed. “I want to take you by the studio later, to show you what we’ve been working on. But, first – you must be jetlagged. How about a coffee? My treat.”

“That would be great,” you nodded, and followed Gerard to the Starbucks at the end of the concourse. You sipped your latte happily as Gerard chivalrously helped you carry your bags to the car.

“You ready to do some sight-seeing?” Gerard suggested as he climbed into the driver’s seat. “I’ve discovered so many cool places here in L.A. that I just have to show you.”

“Can we drive by the Hollywood sign?” you asked. Perhaps it was cliché, but you wanted to see what it looked like in person.

“Sure thing,” Gerard agreed, and began to drive. “I have to keep my eyes on the road, so could you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what is it, Gee?” you wondered.

“There’s a CD in the glove box,” Gerard explained. “Take it out, and put it in the CD player, please.”

You bent down, opening the glove box curiously. You found an unadorned CD in a clear case. The cover had a title scrawled on it in Sharpie: I’m Not Okay (I Promise).

“It’s going to be the first single off the new album,” Gerard clarified. “I wanted you to hear it before anybody else, because, um, it’s kind of about you.”

“It is?” you blinked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Gerard nodded. “I wrote the lyrics a long-ass time ago. Like, when we were teenagers, if you can believe it! But, I didn’t use them on Bullets. I don’t know. I just didn’t have a melody that went with them until now.”

“What are the lyrics about?” you questioned.

“Ok, this is kind of embarrassing, but do you remember in our sophomore year, when we were friends, but we weren’t going out yet?” Gerard recalled.

“I was dating that total tool,” you remembered with a grimace. You’d been dating Gerard for so long that you’d almost forgotten you’d been with anyone else.

“Yeah, and I heard at school that you’d done some kind of nude photoshoot for him,” Gerard frowned.

“Which I did not actually do, by the way,” you reminded him, turning red. “Jodie Falconeri started that rumor because she hated me.”

“Yeah, I know that now,” Gerard chuckled. “It was years ago, but, at the time, I was so pissed off and jealous, because I really wanted to be with you.”

“Well, you got me in the end,” you smiled, leaning over to kiss Gerard’s cheek.

“I sure did,” Gerard grinned, kissing you on the mouth.

“Watch the road,” you reminded, pulling away before the kiss could get too heated, like it had at the airport.

“Okay,” Gerard said with a fake pout. “Now, for real, pop the CD in. I’d really like you to hear it. I’m kinda nervous, but, umm…..just please give me your honest opinion about it, ok?”

“Ok,” you said happily, sticking the CD in the slot and pressing play. The guitar riffs wailed over Gerard’s speakers, and your attention was immediately caught by how much more polished and professional the audio sounded when compared to Bullets. That was the power of a professional recording studio, you realized. Gerard sounded like a real rock star now.

You listened intently as Gerard’s familiar voice kicked in with the first verse:

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,

Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

“I do remember that,” you laughed softly. “You wanted me to go to that Smashing Pumpkins concert with you and Mikey, but my mom wanted me to stay home and study. I thought I was so smart, sneaking out the window. But, then I busted my ass, and you wound up having to drive me to the ER…..”

“We were crazy kids,” Gerard said nostalgically. “But, that was the year I fell in love with you.”

“And we’ve been together ever since,” you said fondly. You went quiet as you listened to the chorus:

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

You wear me out

“I’m sorry I made you so sad back then,” you apologized.

“It’s alright,” Gerard shrugged. “It was such a long time ago. And now I’ve got this kickass song out of it.”

“It really is a kickass song, Gerard,” you complimented. “I love it. And I think your fans are going to love it, too.”

“Thanks,” Gerard said gratefully as he parked in the Hollywood hills beside the famous sign. It looked just like in the movies.

“Honestly, I’ve been getting kind of stressed out, thinking about the album, and what people are going to think of it,” Gerard confessed, laying his head on your shoulder. “A lot’s been going on with the band. Like, we’re thinking we’re going to have to replace Otter.”

“You mean Matt?” you guessed. Matt ‘Otter’ Pelissier had been My Chemical Romance’s drummer since the band’s inception. He was a great guy, but, to be frank, he wasn’t the best drummer in the world. “Who are you going to replace him with?”

“You remember Bob Bryar?” Gerard asked as you patted his head comfortingly, running your fingers through his long hair.

“Yeah, he was on the crew for your last tour, right?” you remembered, snuggling closer to your boyfriend.

“Yeah, I think he’s going to be our new drummer now,” Gerard shrugged. He picked his head up, and kissed you again under the bright California sun. God, it felt so good to be beside him again.

“I feel so much calmer about everything, just by having you here with me,” Gerard confessed when he pulled away. “You always make me feel so much better just by being you, Y/N.”

“I can’t wait til I can be with you every day,” you said, gazing into his eyes lovingly. “I can’t wait until I live here full-time.”

“When you fly back to Jersey at the end of the week, I’m gonna cry,” Gerard pouted.

“Me, too, baby,” you groaned. “But, let’s enjoy this time together while we have it.”

Remembering something, you grabbed your suitcase from the backseat and pulled a small Ziploc bag, sandwiched between two ice packs, out of the smallest pocket.

“I brought you some good old, New Jersey-style Taylor ham,” you grinned.

“Oh my gosh,” Gerard said happily, opening the bag and eating a piece immediately. He sighed with happiness, savoring the salty meat on his tongue. “It’s impossible to get good Taylor ham out here.”

“I figured you’d been missing it,” you smiled. The joy on your homesick Jersey boy’s face was so cute.

“Not as much as I missed you,” Gerard replied. “Now, before we check in with the rest of the band, I wanna show you where I’ve been staying while I’ve been recording these past few months.”

“You looking to give me a scenic tour of your apartment?” you teased.

“Mostly the bedroom,” Gerard confessed with a wink.

“Sounds good to me,” you smirked. “We’ve got a lot of nights apart to make up for, mister.”

“I’ll let Brian know I might not make it back to the studio before tomorrow morning,” Gerard said with a lascivious look, and turned the car back towards the city below.

[morethanmonotonous]

MMXVII

I’m sitting in a park in Pemulway near where the ducks live while Matthew gets what will probably be his final haircut in western sydney. I am beyond excited for what 2018 will have in store, but I wanted to stop and reflect on what the past year has been.

This has been my first year dating Matthew, and I genuinely couldn’t be happier. It’s unbelievable that I’ve met someone so suited to me in every single way - we have crazy things in common that I can’t believe, and having him by my side makes me feel like I can achieve literally anything. I’m sure that a lot I achieved this year wouldn’t have been possible without his continual love and support.

I guess I’ll structure this in some kind of chronological way, I think doing this thematically would be too difficult.

The year kicked off with a party at mine, drunk under my back tree accidentally telling Matthew that I was in love with him. I didn’t think I’d ever be the first one in a relationship to say that but I have never been so sure and full of love, I didn’t want to keep it to myself. It’s been a huge year of ‘I love you’ and it’s almost crazy to look back and see how guarded I was about that for so long, to the point I was crying in my bed because I was so scared and wasn’t sure how to express myself. I’m so glad that Matthew and I can be so open and communicative around our love, I really got what I always wanted.

Unify kicked off January right - huge groups of mates (Unify is always like a cross over episode), including Brooke and Keira, all the boys, and Ritchie and his mates. It was a beautiful drug fueled bender, balancing ups and downs and with lots of quite blurry moments, scatted among songs by Savior, Luca Brasi, Moose Blood, Deez Nuts (and trying to get into Every Time I Die but it’s just so bad). Had another acid trip, which I always enjoy so much. Being in a tent with Ritchie while we were sure that there was some sort of cyclone outside, Brooke and Brad’s tent collapsing, and some kind of post apocalyptic dust covered dance party to the sound of Sandstorm. Nothing makes me feel more lucky than being able to spend time with my favourie people in the whole world being incredibly messy and listening to the best music.

Work was interesting this year, spending my 3rd year at Woolworths. After fighting for far too many months and jumping through every hoop that managers decided to create for me, I finally got my promotion to Senior Category Ranging Analyst, hitting my ‘earning 100K at 24’ milestone. The money is great, the job was fun, managing a team is average at best (who gets kicks out of gannt charting everything and only getting spoken to when people want to move timelines?).

I spent my birthday this year at Dubbo Zoo, which was so amazing. We got a little air bnb in Dubbo, and spent both the days at the zoo. We got a golf cart on the first day which was so much fun zooming around and seeing all the cute animals. We got bikes the second day, I’m so grateful I learned how to ride a bike in 2016! It was such a purely happy weekend of adventure, the cutest otters in the world (Pocket!) and the best company. I didn’t know what would be able to compete with Japan last yeat with Mappy but I was so happy to be able to spend my birthday doing such cute things.

Splendour in the Grass was another key part of 2017, as it has been for the past few years. Went with just Keira this year, which I knew was going to be different. I discovered some cool new bands (LCD soundsystem, Client Liason, Kingswood), and saw some old classics (Smith Street, Luca Brasi, Paul Kelly). Had my first ever bad acid trip (just fucking cold and sick, not really a bad mental time). It was nice to spend time with her in that way but fuck it can just feel like a lot of effort sometimes.

[Death Proof by Slowly Slowly just came on shuffle and that feels like the most relevant thing ever while I write this paragraph]. This year I embarked on my biggest overseas adventure (actually, I think just my biggest overall adventure) of my life, alongside the best human I’ve ever met - I went to Europe with Ritchie. I really feel like this could get a blog of it’s own, and I don’t know how much detail to go into because I know I won’t ever really forget that trip. The first 2 weeks with Ritchie’s mates worked so well, I absolutely loved Amsterdam, and I feel like the fact that they don’t have day weed in Sydney might be a good thing for my general life. It was like nothing else, along with the magic of a new city, amazing people, good food, and the excitement that comes along with starting the biggest trip of your life.

Berlin was fantastic for history but lacking in much else to be honest, it’s so great to be dating someone who is happy to go out at night and get absolutely fucked up but then wants to get up to go to museums in the morning. The Berlin pills were like nothing else, a third and I felt like I was bursting out of my skin but in the best possible way at some tiny karaoke place, singing Man I Feel Like a Woman and Truly Madly Deeply (which I’m sure is the most romantic song in the whole wide world). I also learned that Ritchie can make a sick bong out of a green apple and there’s something magical about doing lines of left over coke and having lots of sex.

Prague was a huge highlight too. I mean, the city was okay - you really only need one day there, but fuck, the nightlife was great. We did a pub crawl which was fantastic, drunk off $1 ciders I bought with Ryan at the servo and unlimited shots for $20. Ritchie and I bought magical Prague coke for basically free (compared to Sydney pricing). I’ve never been so fucked as I was with Ritchie, Daniel, and Jaylan, smoking inside and enjoying terrible Euro pop way too much. Ritchie was saying the absolute sweetest things to me about how I’d changed his life and what our lives together would look like. I have never felt so luck than being at some shitty club at stupid AM, off my face, in some foreign country, with the love of my life.

We fell in love with Switzerland (Zurich), Sweden (Stockholm), and Denmark (Copenhagen), but I’m sure that any future Jade reading this will know that and even hopefully be living in one of those cities within the next few years.

There were so many other highlights, like Iceland, where I’ve never seen so many things in my life that were all the coolest thing I’ve seen in my life, driving through Germany (180 on the Autobahn!), going through that 50 euro tunnel listening to Tina Arena, staying in little cabins through the french Alpes, seeing bears in Bern, beach chairs in Nice, the best bread I’ve ever eaten throughout france, learning so much about various parts of European history, going to the West End theaters, and doing it all with the love of my life.

I’ve realised I’m interchanging ‘Matthew’ and ‘Ritchie’, I think I refer to him as ‘Ritchie’ to others but call him ‘Matthew’ to him? Anyway, I digress..

This year has been a big one of lessons for me about spending time with people who energise and recharge me rather than anything based on obligation. I think being away for 2 months makes you realise who you actually miss, and it was really people like Blake and Milan. I think this really links with my 2016 entry. Having lost Tim brought all of the guys so much closer together and broke down so much of the stigma around speaking about mental health and changed the whole dynamic of those relationships. I am so incredibly lucky to have such a great group of mates in my life.

I started the beautiful cult which was F45 this year too. I’ve never been so close to achieving so many of my fitness goals and I’m so proud of myself. I’ve been working so hard and I keep getting more and more comfortable in my own skin, from wearing bikinis at the beach to dressing sexy for Ritchie. I’m excited to see what 2018 looks like for my fitness goals. This year I did the city to surf again, I didn’t beat my best time but I recovered much much easier which must count for something, I am hoping I can keep building up my endurance and eventually be able to do a half and then full marathon.

This year we went to some great gigs too. I think the best show I’ve ever been to in my life was the Hellions show at Oxford Art Factory, where they played the entirety of Indian Summer and Opera Oblivia including interludes. Every single song was perfect and having the little breaks in songs was the best thing, being able to recharge and get ready for the next party song. I’ve never been so wrecked or happy after a show. Saw Luca Brasi again a couple of times, every time they play is so much fun. Smith Street sold out the Enmore this year which was pretty insane, it was a good show except for the all ages element. It’s always a little bit sad when your favourite band gets really popular - like, I’m happy for them, but the gigs aren’t what they used to be. Saw Ambleside, Columbus, Trophy Eyes, Conor Oberst at the Opera House, Touche Amore, Architects, Ceres, Speakeasy, The Hard Aches.

MMRS had their final night this year, AMPM has replaced it monthly which is great but man I miss the messy nights that were MMRS. Nights at the Quinn have become increasingly important too, I guess as we are all getting a bit older we are more and more valuing spending good time together chatting around a table and a couple of beers rather than getting wrecked (although getting wrecked is definitely still a priority in my life - everything in moderation). I have really gotten a lot closer with Blake this year which I am really grateful for, it’s so nice having such a great mate that I can share anything with.

This year Keira moved out to Canberra, her and James bought a real family home. We went down to visit them, it’s so nice seeing them so happy and settled and in love. It’s crazy thinking that they’re going to settle there and eventually have kids and that’s the place that the future family things will be held at. They’ll be getting married in a couple of months too, I’m pretty excited to get dressed up (in my size 8 dress!) and see them get married. So much to still organise though!

Ritchie and I started cooking more and more this year which I really enjoy. It’s so fun creating something out of nothing, thinking outside of the box for ideas, having our little jobs around the kitchen, and being able to make great veggie food that we can enjoy together.

One of the other biggest things that’s happened late this year is getting new jobs. Ritchie has moved on from Syple and gotten a job at hipages, I’m so proud of him for working so hard on his portfolio and applications to get it and I really do hope he loves it. I got a job as ‘Business Executive’ (generic as fuck) at British American Tobacco, so I know next year is going to be a huge one for me. I’m excited for the challenge, to have a whole new industry to learn, new people to get to know, and to work in a category so limited and restricted, to learn how it all works. I am also so excited about the international opportunities there, I would really love to be living with Ritchie somewhere in Northern Europe in the next few years.

Us both getting city jobs makes us moving into the city such a reality now, I can’t wait for what the next few months will hold.

I got a couple of tattoos to add to my collection this year, my duckies are now coloured, and I finally got my sternum piece done and I absolutely love it. I also got a front fringe for the first time in years and I sold out and bought an iPhone (and got AirPods for Christmas), I’m a real Apple fangirl now. I fell in love with my first cat (Simon / Pablo!), we discovered our little waterfall in Kurringai, I had my first trip to Port Stephens for our anniversary, and we explored Canberra a lot more than we had, but I’m sure we will be spending a lot more time there. Oh and Zoe and Ben got married which was a good night of beers and hanging out with Brooke and Brad.  

It’s been a huge year of music, mates, travel, work, and love, and I couldn’t be happier. I feel like 2017 has set me up in so many ways to have some really big years coming up in so many different aspects of my life. It’s been a much nicer and easier year than 2016 and I’m so grateful for that. Having the best people in my life makes me feel like I can do anything and I can’t wait to see what the next year is like.

[readbookywooks]

BOMBADIL GOES BOATING

The old year was turning brown; the West Wind was calling; Tom caught a beechen leaf in the Forest falling. 'I've caught a happy day blown me by the breezes! Why wait till morrow-year? I'll take it when me pleases. This day I'll mend my boat and journey as it chances west down the withy-stream, following my fancies!' Little Bird sat on twig. 'Whillo, Tom! I heed you. I've a guess, I've a guess where your fancies lead you. Shall I go, shall I go, bring him word to meet you?' 'No names, you tell-tale, or I'll skin and eat you, babbling in every ear things that don't concern you! If you tell Willow-man where I've gone, I'll burn you, roast you on a willow-spit. That'll end your prying!' Willow-wren cocked her tail, piped as she went flying: 'Catch me first, catch me first! No names are needed. I'll perch on his hither ear: the message will be heeded. "Down by Mithe", I'll say, "just as sun is sinking" Hurry up, hurry up! That's the time for drinking!' Tom laughed to himself: 'Maybe then I'll go there. I might go by other ways, but today I'll row there.' He shaved oars, patched his boat; from hidden creek he hauled her through reed and sallow-brake, under leaning alder, then down the river went, singing: 'Silly-sallow, Flow withy-willow-stream over deep and shallow!' 'Whee! Tom Bombadil! Whither be you going, bobbing in a cockle-boat, down the river rowing?' 'Maybe to Brandywine along the Withywindle; maybe friends of mine fire for me will kindle down by the Hays-end. Little folk I know there, kind at the day's end. Now and then I go there'. 'Take word to my kin, bring me back their tidings! Tell me of diving pools and the fishes' hidings!' 'Nay then,' said Bombadil, 'I am only rowing just to smell the water like, not on errands going'. 'Tee hee! Cocky Tom! Mind your tub don't founder! Look out for willow-snags! I'd laugh to see you flounder'. 'Talk less, Fisher Blue! Keep your kindly wishes! Fly off and preen yourself with the bones of fishes! Gay lord on your bough, at home a dirty varlet living in a sloven house, though your breast be scarlet. I've heard of fisher-birds beak in air a-dangling to show how the wind is set: that's an end of angling!' The King's fisher shut his beak, winked his eye, as singing Tom passed under bough. Flash! then he went winging; dropped down jewel-blue a feather, and Tom caught it gleaming in a sun-ray: a pretty gift he thought it. He stuck it in his tall hat, the old feather casting: 'Blue now for Tom', he said, "a merry hue and lasting!' Rings swirled round his boat, he saw the bubbles quiver. Tom slapped his oar, smack! at a shadow in the river. 'Hoosh! Tom Bombadil! 'Tis long since last I met you. Turned water-boatman, eh? What if I upset you?' 'What? Why, Whisker-lad, I'd ride you down the river. My fingers on your back would set your hide a-shiver.' 'Pish, Tom Bombadil! I'll go and tell my mother; "Call all our kin to come, father, sister, brother! Tom's gone mad as a coot with wooden legs: he's paddling down Withywindle stream, an old tub a-straddling!"' 'I'll give your otter-fell to Barrow-wights. They'll taw you! Then smother you in gold-rings! Your mother if she saw you, she'd never know her son, unless 'twas by a whisker. Nay, don't tease old Tom, until you be far brisker!' 'Whoosh! said otter-lad, river-water spraying over Tom's hat and all; set the boat a-swaying, dived down under it, and by the bank lay peering, till Tom's merry song faded out of hearing. Old Swan of Elvet-isle sailed past him proudly, gave Tom a black look, snorted at him loudly. Tom laughed: 'You old cob, do you miss your feather? Give me a new one then! The old was worn by weather. Could you speak a fair word, I would love you dearer: long neck and dumb throat, but still a haughty sneerer! If one day the King returns, in upping he may take you, brand your yellow bill, and less lordly make you!' Old Swan huffed his wings, hissed, and paddled faster; in his wake bobbing on Tom went rowing after. Tom came to Withy-weir. Down the river rushing foamed into Windle-reach, a-bubbling and a-splashing; bore Tom over stone spinning like a windfall, bobbing like a bottle-cork, to the hythe at Grindwall. Hoy! Here's Woodman Tom with his bill��-beard on!' laughed all the little folk of Hays-end and Breredon. 'Ware, Tom' We'll shoot you dead with our bows and arrows' We don't let Forest-folk nor bogies from the Barrows cross over Brandywine by cockle-boat nor ferry'. 'Fie, little fatbellies! Don't ye make so merry! I've seen hobbit-folk digging holes to hide 'em, frightened if a horny goat or a badger eyed 'em, afeared of the moony-beams, their own shadows shunning. I'll call the orks on you: that'll send you running!' 'You may call, Woodman Tom. And you can talk your beard off. Three arrows in your hat! You we're not afeared of! Where would you go to now? If for beer you're making, the barrels aint deep enough in Breredon for your slaking!' 'Away over Brandywine by Shirebourn I'd be going, but too swift for cockle-boat (he river now is flowing. I'd bless little folk that took me in their wherry, wish them evenings fair and many mornings merry'. Red flowed the Brandywine: with flame the river kindled. as sun sank beyond the Shire, and then to grey it dwindled. Mithe Steps empty stood. None was there to greet him. Silent the Causeway lay. Said Tom: 'A merry meeting!' Tom slumped along the road, as the light was failing. Rushey lamps gleamed ahead. He heard a voice him hailing. 'Whoa there!' Ponies stopped, wheels halted sliding. Tom went plodding past. never looked beside him. 'Ho there! beggarman tramping in the Marish! What's your business here? Hat all stuck with arrows! Someone's warned you off, caught you at your sneaking? Come here! Tell me now what it is you're seeking! Shire-ale. I'll be bound, though you've not a penny. I'll bid them lock their doors, and then you won't get any'' 'Well, well. Muddy-feet! From one that's late for meeting away back by the Mithe that's a surly greeting! You old farmer fat that cannot walk for wheezing, cart-drawn like a sack, ought to be more pleasing. Penny-wise tub-on-legs! A beggar can't be chooser, or else I'd bid you go, and you would be the loser. Come, Maggot! Help me up! A tankard now you owe me. Even in cockshut light an old friend should know me!' Laughing they drove away, in Rushey never halting, though the inn open stood and they could smell the mailing. They turned down Maggot's Lane, rattling and bumping, Tom in the farmer's cart dancing round and jumping. Stars shone on Bamfurlong, and Maggot's house was lighted; fire in the kitchen burned to welcome the benighted. Maggot's sons bowed at door, his daughters did their curtsy, his wife brought tankards out for those that might be thirsty. Songs they had and merry tales the supping and the dancing; Goodman Maggot there for all his belt was prancing, Tom did a hornpipe when he was not quaffing, daughters did the Springle-ring, goodwife did the laughing. When others went to bed in hay, fern, or feather, close in the inglenook they laid their heads together, old Tom and Muddy-feet, swapping all the tidings from Barrow-downs to Tower Hills: of walkings and of ridings; of wheat-ear and barley-corn, of sowing and of reaping; queer tales from Bree, and talk at smithy, mill, and cheaping; rumours in whispering trees, south-wind in the larches, tall Watchers by the Ford, Shadows on the marches. Old Maggot slept at last in chair beside the embers. Ere dawn Tom was gone: as dreams one half remembers, some merry, some sad, and some of hidden warning. None heard the door unlocked; a shower of rain at morning his footprints washed away, at Mithe he left no traces, at Hays-end they heard no song nor sound of heavy paces. Three days his boat lay by the hythe at Grindwall, and then one mom was gone back up Withywindle. Otter-folk, hobbits said, came by night and loosed her, dragged her over weir, and up stream they pushed her. Out from Elvet-isle Old Swan came sailing, in beak took her painter up in the water trailing, drew her proudly on; otters swam beside her round old Willow-man's crooked roots to guide her; the King's fisher perched on bow, on thwart the wren was singing, merrily the cockle-boat homeward they were bringing. To Tom's creek they came at last. Otter-lad said: 'Whish now! What's a coot without his legs, or a unless fish now?' O! silly-sallow-willow-stream! The oars they'd left behind them! Long they lay at Grindwall hythe for Tom to come and find them.