#i sat down to read this chapter and just like the first words washed over me

[harryspet]

rough hands, soft chains [4] r. cameron

[warnings] dark!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, arranged marriage, rancher au, manipulation, size difference, jealousy, DUBCON, oral sex, rafe is HUGE, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

a/n: I posted this drabble about readers' state of mind at the end of chapter 3 if you'd like read it before this chapter :)

In which everything is perfect, it's you and Rafe’s wedding shower, and nothing could possibly go wrong.

word count: 5.5k

rough hands, soft chains masterlist

“I hate this shit,” Rafe grumbled, fumbling with the engraved silver buckle that adorned his belt. You thought he looked handsome. His shirt was crisp and white, his leather blazer a deep charcoal with subtle western embroidery, and his dark-wash jeans looked expensive but well-worn enough to look natural on him. He looked like the perfect cowboy to you. He’d sat his deep brown hat on the edge of your freshly made bed before he plopped down next to it, “We should stay up here. Have Wheezie bring us food.”

"But it's our wedding shower," you murmured absentmindedly, your focus fixed on the precise sweep of your mascara wand. Each coat was deliberate, just enough to make your eyes stand out, but not so much that it overwhelmed the rest of your look.

“I never would’ve agreed to let Rose plan this if I-I …. if I knew there had to be an engagement party, bridal shower, wedding shower, and a rehearsal dinner before we even got to the actual wedding.” 

“But you only get married once, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah, baby,” Rafe continued, waving a hand dismissively, “But that’s not the point.”

You spent another five minutes adding blush and bronzer, then you spent a full ten minutes doing your lips, and you topped it off with a fine mist, locking everything into place. Your armor for the day. Rafe had begun pacing but that wasn’t out of the norm, “How do I look?” You asked when you finally revealed your carefully designed look to match the dress you and Sarah had bought together. 

The dress was made of delicate lace, an ivory color, that gave a hint of the skin beneath. The bodice was fitted, hugging your curves, strapless and the skirt flowed softly from your waist, ending above your knees. It was completely romantic, in your opinion, and Sarah had begged you to get it. 

At first, Rafe said nothing. His expression shifted, his brow knitting together, lips pressing into a firm line. His eyes locked onto you, dark and unreadable. He scratched at the back of his head, shifting his weight from foot to foot, a sign that something was brewing beneath his surface. 

“Uh,” Rafe started, his eyes going wide, “Fuck …yeah, baby, you look fucking gorgeous.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face, glossy lips pulled into a curve. You walked closer and Rafe placed his hands on your hips, “You think so?” You batted heavy eyelashes up at him, placing your hands on his chest. You felt his heart beating fast beneath your palm. 

“Don’t do that,” Rafe smirked, leaning down until his breath was fanning over your face, “I’ll keep you up here, I will. Tie you down to the bed.” 

“That will mess up my makeup.”

“Well, I was going to mess up your makeup either way. You can decide if it’s before or after the party.”

He didn’t wait for your response, leaning down to peck your lips. It was brief but soft and warm. You giggled when you opened your eyes, finding his lips glossy in the same shade of pink as yours. 

You liked the version Rafe you’d gotten to know over the last two weeks. It made your heart race with anxiety to even think about him pinning you down on Ward’s desk. But your heart filled up when you thought about laying next to Rafe everyday after that. You felt broken, barely able to pull yourself out of bed, but he stayed with you. He made sure you ate, kept Rose from prying into your business, and brought you flowers nearly every other day, filling the surface of your antique dresser. You did your best to care for them, but only now were they beginning to wilt.

He wiped his lips with the sleeve of his suit jacket and you saw a bit of blush rise in his cheeks. 

You pulled from him, crossing the room to your closet. You picked out the strappy heels that you’d also bought with Sarah. You came back to sit on your bed, leaning down to lace them onto your feet. Rafe rounded your footboard, hand hanging on the wood and upholstery. 

“I’m excited,” You admitted, “I’m, like, nervous still. But it’s exciting.”

You glanced at him, finding his eyes fixed on your exposed legs, his eys trailing up to your thighs. It was a hungry look. He’d grown kinder but his appetite was still there. Part of you worried that his darker side might return, that he couldn’t contain his true nature, and it was a matter of time before he snapped. He held you tight at night, his fingers slipped into the front of your panties, oftentimes when you were still drowsy in the morning. He took your orgasms from you, as he always did, but he hadn’t pushed you again like that day two weeks ago. 

“You should be excited,” He said, “We’re very close to life being exactly as it should be.” 

You gave him an agreeing look. A honeymoon in Florida and then you and Rafe would have a whole house to yourself. A home. You didn’t know what you wanted from life before you met Rafe. You knew you wanted your Dad back but since you couldn’t have that, following his wishes would the next best thing. Maybe this was the best thing your father could’ve done for you. 

“I’m excited to meet Kiara,” You said, finishing strapping your feet into your heels. You stood, taller than before, but still much shorter than Rafe. 

“Kie?” Rafe’s brow raised and your heart stumbled, afraid that you had made a mistep, “What do you mean?”

Sarah had explained that Rafe didn’t necessarily like her friends but you also understood that Rafe didn’t like many things in general.  You'd thought hard about it once. He liked you and Wheezie. He liked whiskey. He liked movies where guys raced fast cars. He liked riding his horse and working with his Dad. You couldn't come up with anything else.

"Sarah’s bringing her as a date," you said, your voice turning a little unsure. "And, um, I think her family is, like… catering the wedding? I think?"

You could feel him thinking deeply, “Interesting.” Was all he said. 

That sounded neutral, right? Neutral was good. Safe.

You smiled, encouraged. "Oh! I was thinking it’d be fun if she came to my bachelorette too! So it’s not just me and Sarah."

“What about Wheeze?” He asked, voice deep and concerned. 

“Oh,” You started, “Sarah thinks she’s too young.”

“Sarah,” he spoke his sister’s name like it was a cruse, “You know she’ll be pissed. And I don’t think Sarah should be planning anything for your day that isn’t appropriate for my little sister. I thought you guys were going to the spa or something.”

You took in all his words, beginning to feel guilty about not including Wheezie, “I can talk to Sarah,” You said, “I just don’t know what most girls do. Sarah seemed to have good ideas about fun things to do. And she said the spa ideas was, um, boring.”

“Sarah’s idea of fun should not be your idea of fun.”

Your brows furrowed. Now you were confused, “But …” Despite the time you had spent with him, you’d yet to learn how to successfully argue with him, “What’s my idea of fun then?”

Sometimes you liked when Rafe filled in all of your blanks. It kept you from thinking too much and overthinking always led to shallow breaths and watery eyes. 

Rafe exhaled, like he’d already worked this all out in his head. “Something that involves Wheezie.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was an answer. You nodded automatically. “Okay.”

It was a simple enough request. You’d just have to tell Sarah. And really, what was there to do in town, anyway? It wasn’t like you had a million options.

The backyard stretched endlessly, turing into rolling hills, and groves of towering pines. Edison bulbs twinkled above your head, shining light down onto long, wooden banquet tables. Dinner was over. Everyone was standing now, drinking glasses of wine, and talking in small groups. The Cameron’s knew a lot of people. People you didn’t even recognize from living here all your life. Rafe explained that they were business partners. A live band, one man with an acoustic guitar, the other with a fiddle played softly from a wooden platform. 

You were at Rafe’s side for a majority of the night. A photographer also seemd to follow the two of you everywhere. Under Rose’s direction, you took posed photos under a floral arch with white roses, Montana wildflowers and fresh greenery. In one, Rafe tilted your chin up, kissing you so deeply that you thought your heart might explode. 

The sky had darkened, the party continued to stretch into the night, and Rafe’s attention began to wander. He’d made it to his fifth bud light and now he was loudly talking into his friend, Kelce’s ear, his hand having left your hips moments before. 

You decided to look for Sarah, slipping away because Rafe wasn’t paying attention to you anyways. Some people walked up to you to congratulate you, some to offer condolences, and some just stared. 

You weren’t sure what to say to any of them. The words tangled somewhere in your throat, so you just smiled. Small, pretty, vacant.  You scanned the crowd, searching for Sarah’s familiar silhouette, but all you found were unfamiliar faces, whispering in hushed voices as their eyes lingered on you just a second too long.

Once you made your way back inside, shuffling through servers in their bright white shirts, you found Wheezie standing in the foyer, her eyes fixed down on her phone, “Wheezie, have you seen Sarah?” You asked and she barely looked up. 

“She left.” 

You stomached dipped, “What do you mean?”

“Kiara and her walked out like twenty minutes ago. Think they went to the barn.”

“Oh," You tried to hide your disappointment with a small grin, “Why?”

“I don’t know why Sarah does anything she does,” Wheezie tilted her head, studying you, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go look for them.”

“Alone?” She inquired, “Rafe’s gonna come looking for you.”

“He’s busy, I think,” You said, “I’ll be back in like ten minutes anways!”

Although Wheezie didn’t look convinced, she didn’t stop you either. She simply hummed, shifting her focus back to her phone. You walked out the front door, feeling the cool night air on your skin. You decided to leave your heels behind, knowing they’d just get stuck in the mud. Rafe would notice you were gone, eventually, but still your feet carried you forward. 

You recalled the first night you were here, when Rafe walked with you to the barn, and spread your legs on the floor of it. The other building, farther off in the distance, was the ranch hand’s quarters. You remembered that too. 

You heard them before you saw them. Laughter. Sarah’s was unmistakable and you’d gotten used to John B’s voice as well but you hesitated at the barn’s open doors when you heard an unfamiliar male voice. Slowly, you peered inside. You spotted Sarah sitting on a bale of hay next to a girl with light brown skin and curly hair. Sarah had an entire bottle of wine in her hand and sipped from it casually. 

Across from them stood John B. and a dark-skinned boy with a lean build and soft, deep brown eyes. Next to him was a boy whose sun-kissed blonde hair was kept in check by a weathered white cowboy hat. His skin was tanned and his smile was wide with mischief. 

A strong smell hit your nose too, earthy and smoky. You assumed it came from the cigarette in John B.'s hand, or at least, you thought it was a cigarette. 

It was too late to abort, because the blonde had spotted you and, in turn, all eyes turned to you. You wandered into the light of the barn awkwardly, your eyes meeting Sarah’s, her brown one’s lighting up with excitement, “Y/N!” She shouted, handing the wine bottle over to Kiara, and crossing the space to get to you. Her arms wrapped around your waist as she pulled you forward, “Guys, this is Y/N! Y/N, these are my friends I was telling you about.”

The group looked you over with curious eyes, their smiles friendly but tinged with cautious skepticism, as if still unsure of what to make of you.

She pointed them all out. Pope, JJ and Kiara. John B., you knew, of course. “Welcome,” John B. said. 

“Hi,” You waved. 

“You look so good!” Sarah exclaimed and you smelt the wine on her breath, “I was telling everyone how beautiful you are!”

“Thank you,” You smiled faintly, glancing over at Kiara, who gave you a soft, welcoming wave, “...Um, how come you guys didn’t come to the party?” 

“Oh–” JJ started but Pope quickly interjected. 

“It was a little too crowded,” Pope said, offering you an apologetic smile.

You nodded, accepting it, but your eyes couldn’t help but find JJ’s. His gaze was intense, but not in the way Rafe’s could be. It was the kind of stare that took you in without any hidden motive, no pressure. Just curiosity.

“Yeah,” Sarah chimed in, trying to ease the moment. “But I’m glad you came out here.”

“Rafe didn’t follow you, did he?” Kiara asked and you felt the tension that grew between the five of them. 

“No,” You shook your head, “I didn’t say anything,” you assured them, looking at each of them with wide, innocent eyes.

“Good,” Sarah said in approval and your mood lightened. 

JJ, however, seemed unfazed by the tension. He pushed past Pope, whose gaze had hardened slightly, as if issuing a warning that went unnoticed. JJ’s eyes were back on you, and his voice was playful as he moved closer, his grin widening. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” You blinked, feeling a little taken aback.

“Yeah, word gets around,” JJ replied, his eyes scanning you again, like he was memorizing your every detail. You fidgeted with the edge of your lace dress,  “And now I see why. You're hard to miss.”

“JJ,” John B. and Pope spoke at the same time. 

“What? I was just about to offer our guest some refreshments,” He turned to look at them but his gaze was fixed back on you soon. He gestured to the makeshift bar sitting on top of one of the stall gates. A bottle of clear liquor, a six-pack of beers with only two beers left, and a dirty shot glass, “She’s the bride. Gotta make sure she has a good time.”

“You don’t have to drink anything,” Sarah said. 

“She should at least have a shot,” JJ argued, “It’s her party, after all.”

You hesitated, but something about JJ’s easy confidence made the thought of refusing feel wrong. You didn’t want to come off as boring. 

“JJ, don’t be weird,” Kiara spoke, sounding annoyed, “That’s Rafe’s fiance.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Big, bad, Rafe. I’m shaking in my boots,” You didn’t understand and your eyes darted between all of them before they landed back on JJ, “What do you say, Y/N? Celebratory shot?’

It was just a shot. Nothing crazy. Except you’d forgotten to eat in all the commotion and attention, and the alcohol immediately went to your head. Plus, it burned your throat. You coughed but JJ’s smiled wider, making you think that you’d done something right. Everyone else was watching you with interest. 

Moments later, he was pouring you another and cracking open the rest of the beers, handing one to Kiara and then to Pope, “To new friends?” He raised his glass and you glanced around as everyone raised their respective glasses. 

“To new friends,” The others answered reluctantly and tilted back their drinks. You downed the second shot, wincing as it went down, smoother than the first one but still awful. 

Surprisingly, you heard Kiara laugh, “You’re brave for drinking out of that glass, girl.” 

"You’re more fun than I expected, cowgirl," JJ said with a teasing grin, his voice low and smooth.

“That’s mean, JJ.” Kiara said.

“Seriously, you’re cool, how did you end up engaged to Rafe?”

"JJ," John B. warned, his voice a little sharp as he glanced at him.

To your surprise, Pope, who’d been mostly quiet up until now, chimed in with a serious look. “No, I think it’s a valid question.”

You froze for a second. It wasn’t like you could just come out and say, well, it’s complicated and totally a mess. You didn’t even know what was going on with Rafe half the time. You decided to shrug it off, “I’m still figuring things out,” You tried to sound casual, though your heart was pounding, “I mean, we’re figuring things out together.”

“Enough interrogating, guys,” John B. said and you were grateful.

You’d been gone for too long, anyways, “I should get back to the party. It was really nice meeting ya'll.”

“We’ll see you around then, Y/N,” Pope smiled at you and you couldn’t help but feel warm. Or maybe that was just the alcohol.

“Yeah,” you agreed. You turned to Kiara, “Kiara, I hope you can come to my bachelorette.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” She spoke in a way that made you think she might be coolest girl you’d ever met. 

“Alright,” As you walked pass, Sarah grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. The warmth of her touch felt like a promise, like you’d just been accepted into something new, something different than what you were used to.

When you were back in the night, clear of the barn doors, you heard Pope’s voice loudly erupt, “Are you a fucking idiot, JJ?” 

Back inside the house, you searched for Wheezie, wanting her to break the news to Rose that you wanted to retire for the night. The party could certainly go on without you seeing as you knew barely anyone here. Your eyes felt tired, and honestly you felt a little bit wobbly, “Wheezie,” You whispered, as you peaked around corners and opened all the downstairs doors, hoping to find her on her phone, “Wheeeeezie.”

You made your way upstairs next, deciding to check her room. The teenager’s room was completely empty and you let out a tired huff. You just needed to lay down for a second. As soon as you turned on your heel, Rafe appeared, tall legs hurrying up the stairs. 

“Y/N,” His voice boomed as heavy as his steps, “Where you been?”

You tried to steady yourself but you stumbled backwards, “What’s going on, baby?” He caught you quickly, his voice softening. He held your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You leaned against the wall, “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I just …wanted to get away from the party,” You spoke slowly, your head swimming, “I’m fine. Just sleepy.”

Rafe studied you for a moment longer, his brows furrowing as if piecing something together. He looked down at your feet, “You went outside. Where’s your shoes?” 

“Downstairs somewhere. I guess I lost them,” You smiled weakly. 

“Hmm,” He leaned down to kiss your lips and you accepted, your tongue dancing with his.  

He pulled away, his eyes darkening, “You taste like vodka,” he murmured, his voice low and quiet. “Cheap vodka.”

“It’s a party, right?” You asked softly, “Our party.”

“I know they weren’t serving whatever you’ve been drinking. Tell me, what have you been doing? And with who?”

“I feel like … I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

His hand reached up, cupping your face with surprising tenderness. “I won’t be mad at you,” he said, his voice reassuring, though his eyes betrayed something darker. “But I need to know, darlin’. And I need you to be honest.”

You faltered, struggling with your words. “I don’t want you to be mad at anyone else either. Can we just go to bed?”

His jaw tightened, his patience wearing thin. “Sarah,” he muttered, his voice low. “She gave it to you, didn’t she?”

“Wha–” You froze as Rafe’s jaw tightened, “It wasn’t her–”

“And you smell like fucking weed,” His face scrunched up and his voice turned low and painful. 

"I smell like... a weed?" you asked, confused, the words coming out in a dazed haze as you tried to process his words.

“Fucking Pogues,” Rafe cursed and you yelped when his fist pounded against the wall beside your head, “Stay here. I’ll deal with this.”

You reached out to grab his arm, your fingers trembling against tense muscles beneath his skin, “Wait. No, no, no, stay here with me.” 

He grabbed you next, and lifted you off your feet as he dragged you across the hallway. You tried to pull away, to get him to let you go, but his grip tightened. "Rafe, please!" you cried, struggling to free yourself, but it was futile. His hold on you was ironclad.

"Stay the fuck in here. I’ll be right back," he commanded, his voice colder than ice as he forced you into his room. The door slammed shut and then there was a wall between the two of you. The click of the lock followed and you stumbled back, your heart racing. 

You heard his footsteps retreat, a few heavy thuds followed by the faint sound of him calling out to someone. You pressed your ear against the door, straining to hear anything, but it was quiet for a moment.

You hurried towards the window, pressing your palms against the cool glass as you looked down toward the front of the house. Through the dim light spilling from the porch, you could see a trio of men walking in a purposeful, determined line away from the house.

He’ll be right back. You doubted that. You should’ve laid down then. But you did your best to undo the zipper of your dress, needing more room to breathe, before you wandered into Rafe’s closet. You pushed a mountain of clothes to the side, settling in the corner, and cried your makeup away. 

How did you manage to mess up everything with Sarah, her friends, and Rafe all in one night? Why did you have to ruin everything?

It wasn’t the first time Rafe had blown up at Sarah. She often stood in the way of everything he wanted in life. Ward loved her more than him, for some unknown reason that baffled Rafe the more he tried to understand it. This night was about him and you and yet Sarah and her pogue friends had to crash their party. Rafe couldn’t have one thing that was just his. Now she was trying to corrupt you, his sweet and clueless bride. 

“Where’s the rest of your friends?” Rafe asked when he and his friends found just John B., Kiara and Sarah in the barn, “They run? Huh?” 

Sarah rolled her eyes, hard, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t mess with me, Sarah.”

“What? Did you snort too many lines tonight?” 

Rafe imagined his hands around her throat. He squeezed his fist tight, examining the scene before him, assessing what exactly he could get away with in this moment. Soon, someone would notice that both Rafe and his future bride had disappeared from their own party. He was on thin ice with Ward already.

Kiara shifted, stepping in front of Sarah like some kind of shield. “Back off, Rafe.” Her voice was steady, but he could see the way her hands clenched into nervous fists.

Rafe let out a cold laugh, pointing straight at his sister, his gaze razor-sharp. “I’ll make every last one of your little Pogue friends miserable, you hear me?” His voice was low, dangerous, a promise rather than a threat. “I’m gettin’ the company, the money, the influence, every goddamn thing. Cameron Ranch pays all their fucking bills, and you know it. You think Heyward’s could run without us? Kie, your parents buy their beef from us, same as every other rich asshole in this town. Y’all survive because we let you…and you …”

Rafe turned towards John B., “You know better. No one else in this town would have you on with your history. And your friend, JJ, if I find out he put one finger on her. I’ll fucking kill him.” His voice dropped to a whisper, seething with a quiet rage. 

It was a promise. His blood boiled at the idea of JJ’s eyes on you. He would’ve killed him if the pogue hadn't been smart enough to run. That’s why he left you in his room, he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he saw him. 

“That’s enough!” Sarah shouted, her expression twisted in frustration, “Stop, Rafe. You got your point across.”

“Nothing even happened, asshole,” Kiara said. 

“Like he should believe that,” Topper scoffed, speaking up, “Dirty pogues.”

“Let it go,” John B. said, “Before you do something you regret, man.” 

Rafe nodded, jaw tight. He considered them lucky. Damn lucky. They were on his property, his land, trespassing, he had every right to go after them, “Keep your friends away from Y/N,” Rafe said to his sister, “I’m serious.”

“You can’t control who she’s friends with!”

“I promise you won’t like it if you push me on this one, Sarah,” With one last glance at Sarah, he turned on his heel, heading back toward the house, back toward something far more important, back towards you. 

Rose ripped into him, of course, after the happy couple completely abandoned their own wedding shower. He would’ve preferred his father’s yelling over hers. She cornered him in the foyer, before he could climb the stairs, and Rafe started to feel a headache coming on. It was then he remembered the beers and the fact that he was not even close to sober. It wasn’t his fault the night ended in disaster. He’d done his part, networked, kept up appearances, and even posed for a million photos. The Pogues showing up and manipulating his fiance into getting drunk was out of his control. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Wheezie peaking from the bannister upstairs. She was eavesdropping, of course. He apologized to Rose instead of raising his voice. She continued. He apologized five more times. She didn’t accept, he didn’t expect her to. She threw up her hands in exhaustion, said she was going to talk to Ward, and then stormed off. 

With a heavy sigh, Rafe climbed the stairs.

His nosy little sister asked, “Why is Y/N crying in your room? She sounds like a kicked puppy.”

Rafe’s jaw clenched. Great.

“Ask Sarah,” Rafe spoke curtly, annoyed. He reached into his pocket for his keys. 

“Sarah?”

“Goodnight, Wheezie.” Was all he said before he unlocked his bedroom door, pushed inside, and slammed it shut. 

He understood immediately what Wheezie meant by you sounding like a kicked puppy. You weren’t where he expected you'd be but it didn’t take long to narrow down where you were. He gave himself a few minutes to collect himself, bracing for your torrent of emotions, bracing for the anger you probably felt towards him. 

Being mad at him would be useless in the end. Rafe had decided the two of your belonged together. He certainly didn’t believe in soulmates but he understood ownership and possession. Whatever it was, the two of you would work for it, because you belonged to him. 

He found you, head in your hands, shaking like a leaf. He kicked off his boots, lowered down to the ground, and moved next to you, “Y/N?” 

“I’m sorry,” You said immediately, your voice pitiful. 

“You’re sorry, baby?” It wasn’t the reaction he expected from you but he leaned into it, “You’re sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for,” You hiccuped, “For drinking. I don’t know why I did it. I just …” 

“You want Sarah to like you,” Rafe filled in your often incomplete thoughts and you finally looked up. Despite the streaked mascara and smudged lipstick, he thought you looked gorgeous. 

“Yeah … I shouldn’t, right?” You asked hesitantly, "You know, sometimes it feels like everyone knows what’s going on except me. I think she thinks I’m stupid and she’d be right.. I can’t even take care of myself.” 

“Look, I’m not happy with Sarah but I know she doesn’t think that,” Rafe assured you, but made sure to add on, “And you shouldn’t care what she thinks. She hangs out with a bunch of lowlifes. She’s going nowhere. You, baby, have so much potential. So what, you don’t know everything, but you don’t need to take care of yourself. How many times do I have to tell you? That’s my job.”

Rafe watched you nod your head, eyes still watery, “My Dad wanted it.”

“He did,” Rafe agreed, “I don’t like to see you like this …things will be better when we have our own house. Our own family. I know it will.”

“Was she upset?” You wiped your own tears, “When you went out there…” 

“You’re too sweet for your own good.” 

He was watching you closely now, scanning your body language, gauging whether you were on the verge of a panic attack. This moment, it was an opportunity for him. Somehow, despite everything, he wasn’t the bad guy in this situation. Maybe it was the trust he’d built with you over the last two weeks, maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, he wasn’t about to let it slip through his fingers.

“C’mere,” He reached for you, fingers wrapping around your wrists, guiding you toward him. You shuffled forward onto your knees, letting him pull you closer. His hands slid to your hips, gripping firmly as he positioned you over his lap, your legs straddling his. Now, you were right where he wanted you, face to face, eyes locked, nowhere to hide.

“She was upset,” he admitted, his thumbs smoothing slow circles against your sides. “But not as upset as me.”

You blinked, lips parting slightly.

“It wasn’t just the drinking,” he continued, voice low and steady. “It was who you were drinking with. You were with them. Without me.” His jaw tensed. “Knowing that those dirty Pogues got to look at you, be near you-” He inhaled sharply, shaking his head. “You’re the most beautiful thing in my life. I don’t think it’s selfish to want you to myself.”

Shame flickered across your features. 

“I wasn’t thinking,” You murmured and part of Rafe’s mind, the sick part, rejoiced, “I’m so sorry.”

A weak smile tugged at his lips, “I forgive you, baby. I’m not mad anymore. At all. “

He kept his voice reassuring, his words gentle, but his touch was anything but. 

“What makes them so bad, Rafe?” You asked curiously, your voice barely above a whisper, “They didn’t look that dirty to me.”

“Not tonight, I don’t want to talk about them,” Rafe ran his hands over your thighs, traveling beneath the skirt of your dress, before he gripped a handful of your ass in his hands, “I wanna teach you something.”

“Mhm,” You hummed as Rafe leaned into your neck, kissing you softly. You were so responsive, even in this fragile state. 

“I know how you can make it up to me.”

Rafe felt you tense when you felt it, the growing hardness that was currently being restrained by his zipper. Barely contained. He leaned his head down, just as he moved his hands to your breast. He squeezed tightly, savoring the handful, “Rafe …I-I–I don’t know.” 

He did wonder how far he could push you before you couldn’t take it anymore. But he remembered how much further he’d gotten with you being a little more gentle, “Don’t worry,” He assured you, “I’m going to teach you how to use your mouth on me. It won’t hurt at all.”

“It won’t? But …. But  it can’t fit in my mouth.” 

Patience, he reminded himself. 

“I’ll show you,” Rafe pressed his thumb against your soft lips, “Open, baby.”

Rafe saw it in your eyes, the hesitance, the fear but he kept his touch soft. He brushed your tongue, “Suck on my finger,” You closed your mouth around his finger and when he felt your teeth scrape his skin, he added, “But don’t bite. No teeth. That’s lesson number one.”

He moved his thumb slowly in and out of your mouth, allowing you practice. The way your wide eyes were fixed on him, looking for his approval, was probably the sexiest thing he’d seen you do. And you were his, “Good girl, darlin’” he praised, and your lashes fluttered at the words.

He promised to take it slow and was a man of his word. He gave you plenty of practice before the real thing. You were right, he couldn’t fit inside your mouth. Most of him. But he taught you how to hold him, how to stroke him, how to keep touching him in the moments where your mouth got too tired. That was lesson two.  Just the tip this time, you could handle that. He had been holding off for two weeks, and it wouldn’t take much.

And when the moment finally came, when his release spilled hot and thick onto your tongue, Rafe taught you lesson number three.

“You never spit, baby,” he murmured, his thumb grazing your swollen lips. “My cum is your reward for all your hard work. You swallow all of it.”

And when you did, although your face scrunched at the unfamiliarity of it, Rafe pressed a slow, claiming kiss against your lips.

hope you enjoyed!!

[landososcar]

jump then fall ; ln4

chapter one — i’m feeling you, baby

— pairing(s) ; college basketball captain!lando norris x college tutor!reader

— summary ; in which lando was so worried about his grades falling, he didn’t realise he was too.

— warnings ; 1692 words, death of a parent (mentioned), alcohol mentioned, nothing else i don’t think!

— note ; longer note at the end but i know this is set in america but i refuse to write ‘mom’ instead of ‘mum’ idc who that bothers

masterlist , next

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° .• *₊ ° . *☆. °:

the library was not a popular hangout space on a friday night for many of the people i go to school with — i know this because i'm one of the few people who regular the two story building.

tonight, like most nights, my corner of the library was deserted. a few students sat scattered across the first floor, scrolling through their phones or cramming for last-minute deadlines, but upstairs, where i always worked, it was silent. the kind of silence that wrapped around you like a blanket, soothing and distracting all at once.

i had just opened my laptop and pulled out my notes for monday’s tutoring session when i heard the unmistakable sound of sneakers squeaking against the polished floor.

i looked up, half expecting a lost freshman wandering in search of the printers, but what i saw instead almost made me freeze.

lando norris.

he was hard to miss — tall, broad-shouldered, perpetually disheveled in that annoyingly effortless way athletes always seemed to master. his varsity basketball jacket hung loosely on him, and his backpack was slung carelessly over one shoulder. he didn’t belong here. not just because he was the school’s golden boy or because his team was undefeated this season, but because lando norris had a reputation. parties, games, and the occasional appearance in class—those were his natural habitats. the library was not.

he stopped a few feet away from my table, glancing down at a crumpled piece of paper in his hand, then back up at me.

“are you y/n?” he asked, his voice deep but tinged with uncertainty.

i blinked at him, trying to piece together how he even knew my name. “uh, yeah. why?”

relief washed over his face, and he shoved the paper into his pocket. “good. i need your help.”

i arched an eyebrow. “with what?”

“passing calculus,” he said, flashing a grin that was somehow both charming and exasperating.

i stared at him for a moment, unsure if he was serious. “calculus,” i repeated, as if saying the word out loud might somehow make this whole interaction make sense. since when did he care about passing classes?

“yeah.” he dropped his bag onto the table across from me with a soft thud and sank into the chair. “i have no idea what’s going on in that class. coach says i’ll be benched if i don’t pull my grade up, and the professor said you’re the best tutor on campus. so, here i am.”

my brain took a second to catch up. calculus wasn’t exactly light reading, and the idea of tutoring lando norris—someone i’d only ever seen surrounded by teammates, fans, or beautiful women—felt surreal. i’d heard his name in passing a hundred times, seen him on flyers for basketball games, but this was the closest i’d ever been to the school’s star athlete.

and now he wanted me to help him?

“why now?” i asked, leaning back in my chair, my brows furrowed. “the semester started months ago. you’ve just realized you’re failing?”

he scratched the back of his neck, sheepish. “something like that. look, i know this is probably the last thing you want to be doing on a friday night, but…” he paused, his hazel eyes meeting mine, almost pleading. “i really need this… i can’t be benched—it’ll ruin my shot with scouts, you know?”

i wanted to say no, that i didn’t understand. i had other students to tutor, i had my own workload, and honestly, i wasn’t sure if he was the type to take tutoring seriously. but something in the way he looked at me—equal parts desperation and genuine hope—made me hesitate.

“i don’t know,” i said slowly, closing my notebook. “do you even have your textbook with you?”

he froze. “textbook?”

i sighed, already regretting this. “yes, textbook. the big, heavy thing with equations in it? you’re going to need one if you want me to help you.”

“right, yeah. got it. i’ll bring it next time,” he said quickly, like he hadn’t thought that far ahead. “so, you’ll help me?”

i hesitated, weighing my options. if he failed, it wouldn’t just be his grade on the line—it’d be his position on the team, and judging by the way he was looking at me, i got the feeling basketball wasn’t just a sport to him.

“fine,” i said, crossing my arms. “but i’m not doing all the work for you. you show up on time, bring your materials, and actually put in the effort. if you don’t, i’m done.”

his grin returned, wider this time, and he nodded enthusiastically. “deal.”

“—and i charge $35 an hour.” he nods, muttering something about anything is fine and i hold back the urge to roll my eyes at him, “good. then i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“tomorrow?” his face fell slightly, like he hadn’t expected this to start so soon.

“yes, tomorrow,” i said firmly, “i have to fit you in between other students whenever i can, and if you want to pass, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover. be here at eight.”

“eight a.m. or p.m.?”

i narrowed my eyes.

“got it. eight a.m.,” he said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender. he begun to get up from his chair, slinging his bag over his shoulder before he paused, “actually…” he looked at me sheepishly, “i’ve got training from six-thirty until eight, can we meet here at eight-thirty?”

i scoffed and his face looked as if he regretted asking, “eight-fifteen, i can’t do any later. i’ve got training at nine-thirty.”

his eyes furrowed at my mention of ‘training’ but before he could ask any questions i continued, “goodnight, lando,” i said, and he nodded his head, beginning to walk out of the library.

“night, y/n.”

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° .• *₊ ° . *☆. °:

the cool night air hit me as i stepped outside the library, the faint hum of campus life echoing in the distance. a group of students passed by, their drunken laughter bouncing off the pavement as they stumbled around, but i barely noticed them. my thoughts were still tangled up in the unexpected turn my evening had taken.

lando norris. calculus. tutoring. it felt surreal, like i’d just stepped into someone else’s story for a moment.

i adjusted my bag on my shoulder and headed toward the front of the school where the large forever-open gates would lead me home.

the walk home wasn’t far—just ten minutes away from campus—but it gave me enough time to collect my thoughts. as i turned onto the street where i lived, the familiar weight of responsibility settled on my chest.

as i made it to the apartment building, i prepared myself for the three flights of stairs ahead of me—thanks to the elevator doors that still held the ‘out of service’ sign. i unlocked the door and stepped inside, greeted by the sound of soft giggles and the faint hum of the tv.

“y/n!”

my five-year-old brother, lukas, came barreling down the hallway, his tiny socks sliding across the hardwood floor. he launched himself into my arms, and i dropped my bag just in time to catch him.

“hey, buddy,” i said, ruffling his messy curls. “did you have a good night?”

he nodded enthusiastically. “we had chicken nuggets, and i beat the boss level in my game! liam helped me.”

i glanced up as liam, our neighbor’s teenage son and occasional babysitter, appeared in the doorway with a sheepish smile. “he insisted on showing me his video game skills,” liam said, shrugging. “and he was pretty good.”

“thanks for staying late,” i said, shifting lukas onto my hip.

“no problem. he’s a great kid,” liam replied, grabbing his backpack. “anything else you need?”

“no, we’re good. i’ll text you about next week,” i said as he headed out the door.

once it was just me and lukas, i carried him to the couch and set him down. “it’s bedtime,” i said, giving him a stern look.

“five more minutes?” he asked, his wide eyes pleading.

i sighed, already feeling the exhaustion from the day creeping in. “five minutes. then brush your teeth.”

lukas grinned, turning his attention back to the cartoon on the tv, while i went into the kitchen. the sink was full of dishes i hadn’t gotten to this morning, and there was a pile of unopened mail on the counter. i leaned against the counter and rubbed my temples, trying to ignore the growing list of things i needed to handle.

between my classes, tutoring, and my part-time job at the diner across from campus, i barely had enough hours in the day. add taking care of lukas to the mix, and it felt like i was constantly teetering on the edge of burnout. but i didn’t have a choice.

after mum died two years ago, it was just the two of us. dad hadn’t been in the picture for years—not that it mattered. i wasn’t about to let anyone else decide what happened to lukas. he was mine to protect now.

“y/n?” lukas’ small voice pulled me from my thoughts. he stood in the doorway, clutching his stuffed dinosaur.

“yeah, lukey?” i asked, straightening up.

“are you okay?”

i forced a smile. “of course. why wouldn’t i be?”

he tilted his head like he didn’t quite believe me. “you look sad.”

my chest tightened, but i crossed the room and knelt in front of him. “i’m not sad,” i said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. “i’m just tired. but i’ll always have time for you, okay?”

“okay,” he said, wrapping his arms around my neck.

as i hugged him back, i thought about the crumpled bills in my wallet, the overdue rent notice i’d stuffed into my bag, and the tutoring session i’d somehow agreed to with lando norris.

i had no idea how i was going to balance everything, but for lukas, i had to, “let’s get you to bed, luke.”

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° .• *₊ ° . *☆. °:

— longer note ; ignore me starting a new series when i’ve only posted 3 chapters of my other series lollll umm sorry. anyways im so much more excited and motivated to write for this story so ‘packing it up’ can wait til im interested in her again im sorry.

— taglist ; im open to making one if anyone’s interested ahhahah

[stylesispunk]

'I love you, it's ruining my life' | Part ii

Joel Miller x f!reader

part one | part three

summary: The aftermath of your confession and how all it ended, for now.

w.c: 3,9k

warnings: angst and just angst. Perhaps grammar mistakes cuz even when I edited the chapter, I tend to be stupid.

a/n: As I promised, part 2 is here! Thank you so much for all the love you gave it to the first part, I'm really happy you loved it despite the messy writing. This part will not be the end, so a third part is already in the works to end this mini story since I had to talk about the aftermath of the events in part 1 and I couldn't fit everything here, you know. Part iii may have a time jump. Happy ending or sad ending for these two?? Make your bets after reading this part. Happy reading 💌

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

After what had just happened, you closed the door of your house with a slam, as if that would help you to silence the thump of your heart cracking with anguish. You didn't even get to savor the taste of Joel's lips on yours; they felt tainted by poison and treason creeping from the unfaithful actions of two people in a vulnerable state. You felt completely dirty by your actions; the tears streamed down your face, washing the warm hands of Joel over your checks away, with the salty rustling of his skin on yours.

After a few seconds, you recovered your composure, inhaling the smell of your soon-to-be ex-home. You looked around your living room; there were boxes containing all the memories you had made for the last eight years of your life inside, saved from the postmortem state. All the days, seconds, and years seemed illicit and foreign, and you could not stop crying.

You sat by the door, head on your knees, next to the window, stealing glimpses of a frantic Joel, who was now walking towards his car, getting away from you for real. Your heart broke even more because you knew that your confession didn’t matter and that you were destined to recall things you never did. He had made his choice. He was going to get married to another woman, and you weren’t going to witness such torture. 

You stood from the ground towards your bedroom, still crying from the hope you had that he was going to love you that way, but he didn't, and you couldn't blame him. He was a good man, one who knew how to love but not how to receive, or perhaps he didn’t want it from you.

As you retreated to your bedroom, the weight of your actions bore down on you like a crushing wave. Each step felt heavier than the last, burdened by the knowledge that you had irreversibly altered the course of your life and Joel's.

The tears continued to flow unabated, leaving a trail of salty bitterness in their wake. You collapsed onto your bed, the sheets offering little solace from the storm raging within you.

When you made your way upstairs, you didn’t know that Joel turned back towards your house, hoping to catch a glimpse of you again. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Guilt gnawed at him like a relentless beast, tearing apart his insides with every breath. He couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal that hung heavy in the air, suffocating him with its weight.

Every fiber of his being screamed at him to turn back, to run as far away from the mess he had created as possible. But something, perhaps a glimmer of hope or a desperate longing for closure, propelled him forward, urging him to face the consequences of his actions.

You loved him, and he loved you too. He had waited to hear those words for so many years, and now they felt like treason, and he felt like a villain.

With a trembling hand, he opened the door of this car and drove towards Tess’s house, not knowing this would be the last time you would be sleeping next to his house.

As Joel arrived at Tess's house, he was greeted by the warm glow of the porch light and the familiar scent of her perfume wafting through the air. But instead of feeling comforted by her presence, he couldn't shake the sense of unease that settled over him like a dark cloud.

As he stepped inside, Tess's worried expression immediately caught his attention. She approached him with a furrowed brow, her eyes searching his face for answers.

"Joel, I'm so glad you're here," she said, her voice tinged with concern.

“Of course, what seemed to be so urgent?”

"I...I called you because I needed to talk to you about something." She spoke.

Joel's heart skipped a beat as he listened to her words, a sense of foreboding settling over him like a heavy weight in his chest.

"What is it, Tess?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tess took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly as she spoke. "I couldn't shake this feeling, Joel. The thought of you spending the night after our wedding with...with her," she paused, unable to bring herself to say your name. "It just didn't sit right with me.” She paused, “We’re getting married tomorrow, and I just need to know that she won’t ruin our lives.”

“Why would she?” Joel asked, feeling an urgent desire to defend you.

Tess hesitated, her eyes flickering with uncertainty as she struggled to find the right words. "I don't know, Joel. It's just that there's always been something between you two. Something I can't quite put my finger on."

Joel's heart sank at her words, the weight of guilt settling heavier upon him. He felt his heart exploding from the shame. He looked down at his hands, taking his time to gather all his courage and act like a man.

“I kissed her.” He confessed, and the silence sliced the skin of both. “I kissed her because I wanted to do it.”

As Joel uttered those words, a heavy silence descended upon the room, thick with the weight of his confession. Tess's eyes widened in shock, her hands trembling as she struggled to process the revelation.

The air hung heavy with tension as Joel's words echoed in the space between them, the truth of his betrayal leaving a bitter taste in the air. He could feel Tess's gaze boring into him, her expression a mix of disbelief and hurt.

"I... okay," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper. "We’ll pretend it didn’t happen, but she is not coming to the wedding, and you won’t see her again.”

Her attempts to mend an already broken trust were being stabbed with a knife.

"She won't because there won't be a wedding, Tess," Joel said, his voice filled with resignation. "I can't go through with it, not like this. Not when I know that I've already destroyed any chance we had at happiness. Not when I don’t know what I feel.”

Tess's eyes widened in shock at his words, her heart lurching painfully in her chest. She had never imagined that their love could unravel so completely and that the future they had planned together could crumble before her eyes.

“And you deserved a man who didn’t put his love for you in doubt when the woman he waited to love confessed her feelings to him,” Joel said.

Tears welled up in Tess's eyes as she looked at Joel, her voice trembling with emotion. "I...I don't know what to say," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the weight of their shattered dreams.

Joel reached out to her, his hand trembling as he gently brushed away her tears. "I'm sorry, Tess," he said, his voice thick with regret. "I never meant to hurt you. I just... don't know what I want anymore."

Tess felt a surge of anger rise within her at Joel's words, the pain of his betrayal still raw and fresh in her heart. But beneath the anger, there was also a sense of resignation, a realization that their love had been built on shaky ground from the start.

"And what about her?" Tess asked, her voice tinged with bitterness. "What about her? Do you know what you want with her?"

Joel looked away, unable to meet Tess's gaze. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "I don't know anything anymore."

Tess felt a lump form in her throat at Joel's words, and the next thing Joel felt was a slap on his cheek.

Joel felt a pang of sorrow shoot through his heart at Tess's action, as if all her resentment had consumed him with the hit of her hand on his skin. Tess turned away before he could even realize it. Withit tears streaming down her cheeks, Joel knew that he had lost her for good. And though it pained him to admit it, he knew deep down that he deserved every bit of her anger and resentment.

And his thoughts drifted to you. For him, it was a feeling in his heart at the thought of not having you in his life anymore.

He had broken the hearts of two women last night, and he couldn't bear that feeling.

Joel woke up at noon the next day. There wasn't going to be a wedding that day. He had told Tess he had kissed you because he felt it. There were tears, yelling, slurs screaming at him, and even a slap when it was completely deserved.

He lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of the previous night playing out in his mind like a never-ending loop. The tears, the yelling, the slap—it all echoed in his ears, a constant reminder of the pain he had caused.

Joel knew that there wasn't going to be a wedding that day and that the future he had envisioned with Tess had been shattered beyond repair. And as he lay there in the silence of his empty house, he couldn't help but feel a profound sense of emptiness.

But even as his heart ached with longing, Joel knew that he had to face the consequences of his actions. He had hurt Tess, shattered her trust, and broken her heart, and he couldn't ignore the pain he had caused.

With a heavy sigh, Joel dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee, the bitter taste doing little to chase away the bitter taste of regret that lingered in his mouth.

As he sipped his coffee, Joel knew he had a long road ahead of him. He had to find a way to make amends and earn back the trust and forgiveness of those he had wronged. And amidst it all, he vowed to do whatever it took to hold onto the love he felt for you and to fight for a future where you could be together, despite the odds stacked against them.

Joel had met Tess two years ago. At first, it was something cosmic and faster, like spending some time together after he had fixed her house, but then the pages between them started to get written and Joel began to spend less time with you. You tried to dismiss the gut-wrenching feeling consuming your void inside, but you promised him to take care of Sarah, while he had taken the chance to bet on love once again.

He deserved it, but you wanted to be the one, and you consumed yourself into your own pity just for one glimpse of his smile, hoping someday he would notice you that way.

It was two months later when Joel invited you to meet Tess for the first time. As you stepped into the cozy café where they had arranged to meet, a pang of bittersweet emotion tugged at your heart. You couldn't deny the twinge of jealousy that gnawed at you, knowing that Joel was introducing you to someone who could potentially become his wife someday.

Despite the ache in your chest, you plastered on your best smile, determined to be supportive for Joel's sake. After all, you had promised to always be there for him, no matter what.

As Tess walked in, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Joel, you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. They were already sharing a secret language you would never get to understand. She was everything you weren't—beautiful, confident, and effortlessly charming. And as Joel introduced you to her, the weight of his hand on your shoulder felt like a silent reassurance, a reminder of the bond you shared as best friends.

You exchanged pleasantries with Tess, forcing yourself to push aside the tumult of emotions swirling inside you. You laughed at her jokes, engaged in small talk, and did your best to be the supportive friend that Joel needed you to be.

But beneath the façade of your smiles and laughter, your heart ached with a sense of loss. You were already grieving your friendship with Joel, as if you were feeling the distance growing between you both, as if his introduction of Tess marked the beginning of a new chapter—one where you would no longer be his sole confidante and companion.

And as you watched Joel and Tess interact, their laughter mingling in the air like a melody of happiness, you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to stand in her shoes—to be the one who captured Joel's heart and made him smile in that way.

But despite the ache in your chest, you pushed aside your own desires and fears, burying them beneath layers of friendship and loyalty. Because in that moment, all that mattered was Joel's happiness, even if it meant sacrificing a piece of your own.

You made sacrifices for the people you loved.

As Joel's thoughts drifted back to the present, he tried to recall all the times he missed the way you glanced at him full of love, and he didn’t even notice. Even when he was the one looking out beyond the simple glimpses,.

He felt like a fool. Joel sat in the quiet solitude of his house, contemplating the light of the sun creeping through the window. His thoughts drifted to you once again and again. He knew that he needed to come to talk to you later to make amends for the pain he had caused and perhaps even begin to write a new chapter in your relationship. But deep down, he also knew that he needed time to heal himself and mend the wounds of his own heart before he could hope to repair the damage he had done to yours.

Lost in his thoughts, Joel was jolted back to reality when the sound of the door opening caught his attention. Turning his head, he watched as Tommy stepped into the house, a tired Sarah sleeping in his arms. The pitying glance that Tommy shot him didn't go unnoticed, a silent reminder of the wreckage of his almost-married life.

Joel offered a weak smile in return, his heart heavy with the weight of his own guilt and remorse. He knew that he had let everyone down—Tess, you, and even himself—and he couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment that hung over him like a dark cloud.

But as he watched Tommy and Sarah disappear into the other room, Joel knew that he couldn't wallow in self-pity forever. He had to find a way to pick up the pieces of his broken life and move forward, even if the road ahead seemed daunting and uncertain.

Lost in his thoughts, Joel didn't notice when Tommy returned to the living room, his expression a mix of concern and confusion. "Hey, Joel, why didn't you tell me?" Tommy asked, his voice tinged with worry.

Joel blinked, snapping out of his reverie as he turned to face Tommy. "Tell you what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Why didn't you tell me that “bubu” was moving out?" Tommy clarified; his tone was laced with concern. "I saw the moving truck leaving.

Joel's heart sank at Tommy's words, a wave of realization washing over him. He remembered now—the conversation from last night, your tearful confession that you were leaving for good. "She couldn’t be serious," he had whispered, the words heavy with disbelief and desperation.

Without another word, Joel stepped away from the couch, his movements heavy with purpose as he made his way towards the door. Ignoring Tommy's calls behind him, he pushed open the door and stepped outside, only to be met with the emptiness of your house next door.

The sight of your empty home, stripped bare of all its memories, hit Joel like a punch to the gut. The realization that you were truly gone, that he had let you slip through his fingers without a fight, left him feeling hollow and alone.

With a heavy heart, Joel sank to his knees on the doorstep, the weight of his regrets crushing him beneath their unbearable burden. And as he gazed up at the empty windows of your house, he couldn't help but wonder if he had lost you forever.

It was a warm summer afternoon when Sarah said her first word. You, Joel, and Sarah were lounging in the living room, playing with her favorite toys.

As Sarah babbled and cooed, her tiny hands reaching out to grasp at the colorful shapes before her, you couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and wonder wash over you. Watching her grow and learn had become a highlight of your days, a bright spot in an otherwise ordinary existence.

“Bubu”

Joel's face lit up with pride and joy as he scooped up his daughter, a mixture of awe and amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Did she just say her first word?" he exclaimed, his voice filled with wonder.

You couldn't help but laugh at Joel's playful jealousy, knowing that he was only teasing. "Oh my god, baby!" you cooed, reaching out to gently stroke Sarah's soft cheek. "You're just too clever for your own good, aren't you?"

"Bubu," Sarah repeated, her eyes sparkling with innocence as she reached out towards you, her chubby fingers grasping at the air.

"I can't believe she didn't say 'father' first," Joel joked, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

You chuckled at Joel's comment, feeling a surge of warmth fill your heart at the playful banter between father and daughter. "Don't be jealous, Joel," you teased, giving him a gentle nudge. "I'm 'Bubu'—that's a tough title to beat!"

And as Sarah continued to babble and coo, her laughter filling the room with its infectious joy, you couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging there.

From that moment on, "Bubu" became your nickname, a term of endearment that Joel had bestowed upon you in honor of Sarah's first word.

And though the years had passed since that day and Sarah had long outgrown her baby talk, the nickname had stuck. It had become a symbol of the bond you shared with Joel and her, a reminder of the love and affection that had blossomed between you over the years.

Back in the present, Joel sat alone in his bedroom, the weight of his regrets heavy on his shoulders. The memories of the events that had unfolded in recent days weighed heavily on his mind, filling him with a sense of profound sorrow and remorse.

As he sat in the quiet solitude of his living room, Joel couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that seemed to permeate the air around him. The absence of your presence in his life had already left a void that seemed impossible to fill, a gaping wound that refused to heal.

And your letter on his hands weighs like the steam of a rose, making his hands bleed as the words written on it punctuate deep wounds in them.

“Joel,

As I sit down to write this letter, my heart feels heavy with the weight of everything that has happened between us. There are so many words I want to say and so many apologies I want to offer, but I know that mere words can never truly express the depth of my regret and remorse.

I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you and that every choice I made was made out of fear and confusion. But I know that my actions have caused you pain too, and for that, I am truly sorry.

I know that things between us may never be the same again and that the trust we once shared may be irreparably damaged. But I need time and space to heal and to find a way to live my life away from you.

I want you to know that I love you, Joel, more than words could ever express. You have been my rock, my confidant, and my closest friend, and the thought of losing you fills me with a pain that is almost too much to bear. My biggest expression of love is letting you go.

Please know that I will always cherish the memories we shared together, the laughter, the tears, and the moments of joy and sorrow that we experienced side by side. And no matter what the future may hold, those memories will always hold a special place in my heart.

I hope that one day we will be able to look back on this time with a sense of gratitude, knowing that it was the challenges we faced together that ultimately brought us closer. Until then, know that you are always in my thoughts, in my heart, and in my prayers. And know that no matter what happens, I will always love you, now and forever.

Have a wonderful wedding and a happy marriage with Tess. I hope you know you deserve to be loved.

I’ll miss you and Sarah so much."

With all my love,

Bubu or you can just call me by my real name now.

As Joel read the words of your letter, each sentence pierced his heart like a dagger, reopening wounds that had barely begun to heal. The weight of your words pressed down on him like a suffocating blanket, leaving him feeling numb and hollow inside.

He hadn’t gotten married, and you thought he had. You left thinking he got married to another woman.

The realization that you were truly gone, that you had made the agonizing decision to leave him behind, sent a wave of despair crashing over him. He felt as though the ground had been pulled out from beneath him, leaving him adrift in a sea of uncertainty and pain.

Tears welled up in Joel's eyes as he read the final lines of your letter, your words of farewell echoing in his mind like a haunting refrain. The emptiness of your absence loomed large in the room, a stark reminder of all that he had lost.

With trembling hands, Joel clutched the letter to his chest, as if holding onto it could somehow keep you from slipping away from him completely. But deep down, he knew that no amount of pleading or begging could change your mind, that you had made your decision, and there was nothing he could do to change it for now.

You were truly the biggest loss of his life; there was too much to grieve and yet so much to hold onto. He was going to go back for you, but he had to heal that part of him that pushed you away from him and let you find yourself before he could come back into your life again.

.......

I'm tagging people who asked me and those who asked for a part 2, if you want to be removed you can tell me 💌

💌 taggs: @immywonderdefender @sarahhxx03 @powellssaturn @ifall4dilfs @harriedandharassed @skysmiller

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile VIII

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Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Well, well, well. Here another chapter for you my dears ! I hope you'll enjoy it! Reader and Alastor are getting closer and closer it's adorable...For now.

You went back inside with Alastor, his jacket still draped over your shoulder. Alice waved at you before staring at Alastor then at you, with a big smile. What? You sat back down on your chair and listened to the conversation which was now about the war. You didn't really want to talk about that for Christmas but..

You felt Alice nudged you, making you look at her confused, she was observing you with a teasing expression. You raised your eyebrows, before leaning toward her, she immediately whispered in your ear as you took a sip of water.

“ Your lipstick is smudged.”

She leaned back with an amused grin and pointed discreetly toward Alastor. You followed the direction she pointed and almost choked on your water. Alastor had lipstick on his lips ! You blushed furiously, did somebody else notice it ? You looked at everyone  around the table but they were way too focused on the conservation, even Alastor was talking with them. You hide your lips behind a napkin , staring at Alice with wide eyes. 

She seemed delighted ; hiding her smile behind her gloved hands. Should you go to the bathroom, to wash up? But it wouldn’t clean Alastor’s lips. You touched Alastor’s tights with your palm, which made him take your hand in his, his gaze turning toward you. You tried to point to his lips but he only smiled wider before tilting his head toward you. You leaned toward him and opened your mouth but he cut you off.

“ You already want another one?”

You threw yourself back against your chair as Alastor was laughing, throwing his head back. Everyone stopped talking and looked at the both of you, confused and curious. You took your glass, hiding your face behind it as they tried to coat you to tell them what had happened. It was Alastor who spoke first.

“ I just reminded my dearest friend that being gluttonous was bad,” he said with a cunning smile. Oh, he looked so full of himself ! You wanted him to be flustered as you were! “ You might get addicted!”

“ Unlike you, I don't have food all over my mouth.” You closed one eye, staring at him with the other as you drank from your glass. Take that Alastor! And please read between the lines… “ and as you know my dear Alastor, since our younger age, you always were the glutton one.” you smirked as you remembered how he would eat so much for the tiny body he used to have.

Alastor just smiled with a teasing expression. You stuck discreetly your tongue at him as the guests were laughing with Alastor, saying how a grown man like him needed to eat so he shouldn’t feel bad for eating so much. You’ve never seen Alastor naked but you knew that he was strong. He could easily throw you on his shoulder when he wanted to do something you didn’t want.

“ You know that when I like something, I can’t help but crave more until there is nothing left for others to share.”

You almost spat the water on the table, your eyes wide open. Was he still talking about food ? You felt your body suddenly getting warmer. You didn’t understand why a sentence like this could make you react like this.

“ Ooh Alastor, you have such a way with words. What else can that mouth do?” said a lady, who seemed to have drunk more alcohol than water. You blushed as she leaned toward Alastor making her chest bigger with her arms. What was she doing ? You almost hid your face, feeling so embarrassed but you wanted to see Alastor’s reaction. Did he like this kind of woman?

“ It bites.” He said with a dangerous smile. You could see your lipstick on his lips, making it seemed like it was blood. You didn’t know why you liked it. You shook your head, what were you thinking? A bloody Alastor wasn’t attractive ! The sweet juices must have been alcohol for you to think such a thing about your friend. You finished your glass, you were getting tired now, and frankly you wanted to go home. You were feeling cold even with Alastor’s blazer on your shoulder. You ignored the lady’s giggles as you stood up, Alastor following soon after you.

“ Well, I think we are ready to go back home.” you smiled at Alice and John who seemed sad that you were already leaving. You hugged Alice as you explained that your feet were killing you, you danced all night and you weren’t used to those kinds of heels. Alastor shook hands with some people and you went toward a butler who gave your coat back.

You gave back his blazer to Alastor and then you left the mansion which was still buzzing with energy and music. You looked at the sky and sighed. Come on, only 35 minutes and you would be able to throw off your shoes. You could almost feel your legs trembling because of the pain.

“ Hold onto me.”

You squealed as Alastor crouched before you and lifted you in his arms, just like a bride. He began to walk. You were impressed, he had danced even more than you and yet he could carry you without breaking a sweat. You touched his lips with your cold fingers, making him look at you.

“ You know you have lipstick on your lips?”

“ Well, yes.” You stared at him, eyes wide opened. What did he say? He knew? How? “ Dear, when you kissed me I could see that your lipstick wasn’t as clean as before. And with Alice’s reaction, it just confirmed my thoughts.” he smiled teasingly at you but his eyes were full with warmth. 

“ But… Why did you not wipe it?”

He kept walking in silence for a moment, even making you believe that he wouldn’t answer you. Sometimes Alastor would just stare at you and not answer your question and you knew that it meant that he wasn’t ready to share what he thought, so you would just give up and talk about something else. You sighed in relief as you saw your home. Finally.

“ I wanted to feel you a little longer.”

You looked at him as he put you on the stairs in front of the door. You tilted your head, he wanted to feel you a little longer..? You took his hand with yours and smiled softly at him, you knew from his expression that he didn’t want to have that conversation right now, even with his usual smile. You quietly opened the door and realized that nobody was up, you could see bottles of wine on the living room’s table but your mothers were nowhere to be seen. You took off your shoes and almost moaned in bliss. Finally…

You went upstairs and took a peek inside your mother’s bedroom and smiled. Marie and your mother were both asleep on your parent’s bed, you could feel Alastor leaning his chest against your back as he stared at his mother. You guessed he wanted to be sure she was okay.

You went into your bedroom and fell on your bed, you just wanted to sleep..

“ Nu-uh miss, you are going to wash your face and take off your clothes.” you felt Alastor’s hands on your waist as he dragged you toward the bathroom. You groaned, you were so tired… You could wash up tomorrow.. He made you sit on the bathtub’s edge and he kneeled before you. He took a tissue and began to take off your makeup, beginning with your eyes, forcing you to close them. 

“ Alastooor…” you moaned, trying to to coat him in letting you go. “ I just want to sleep…” 

“ And I want you to go to bed clean, so be quiet and let me work.” he said as he wiped your lips. You nodded while opening your eyes, the faster it was done, the faster you could go to bed. “ Good girl.” he smirked at you with a mocking glint in his eyes.

You bit his finger, the one which was still wiping your mouth. You stared at him, trying to look dangerous. You… didn’t like when he was saying “good girl” in that tone, like you were someone he could easily manipulate, someone that wasn’t special to him. He looked calmly at his finger then at your eyes. You didn't know what he was thinking and it was killing you. Yes, you could read him easier than most people but Alastor stayed a mystery for you sometimes… Like right now.

He leaned toward you, making you lean back, keeping his finger between your teeth, until your back was at the bottom of the bathtub. He climbed above you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“ I recall being the one who said that I bite…” he looked at you calmly as you stared at him with angry eyes. You smirked, keeping his finger against your teeth, you always loved  when you succeeded in  surprising him. It was such a thrill.. What could you do now.. Oh! You let his finger go and smiled sweetly at him.

“ You wanted me to be clean, right?” He titled his head before you quickly opened the water. You hid underneath his body as the water fell upon his body. You laughed as you saw his face. His eyes were wide open and his smile looked like a grimace, but he was staring at you. He quickly turned off the water and fell on you, his face near your neck. “ Ouch! Alastor, you’re heavy!” 

You felt his arms holding you against him, squeezing you so hard that you could feel your chest being crushed against his torso. He was getting your dress wet now! You tried to run away but you couldn't move from his hold and you could feel his smile on his lips against your neck. You sighed, giving up. You took a strand of wet hair, it was beginning to be curly. You smiled, you liked his curly hair, it was cute! 

“ I think it’s past midnight , so Merry Christmas.”

“ Merry Christmas, Alastor.” you closed your eyes as you hugged him as hard as he was squeezing you. You felt him gasped against your skin, tickling you. You stayed like this for a moment before you were feeling really cold. Alastor helped you get out of the bathtub, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You were clean! You went into the bathroom and looked at the dress. How were you supposed to take it off without tearing it? Last time, Alice was the one to help you take it off.

“ Alastor, can you help me with my dress?”

“ Of course dear” he approached you and dragged the zip down. You thanked him but didn’t move when you felt his gaze on your back. You turned your head toward him with a curious expression. He was looking at your back with a straining smile. “ I hope nobody will ever backstab you… Can I..?” he whispered as he held his hand toward your back. You nodded and closed your eyes when you felt his other hand covered your eyes. For years, you kept this game you had created, hiding your eyes and telling a secret.. And Alastor loved using this game against you.

 You felt the tips of his finger caress your naked back. You shivered, you wondered why? Were you cold? His touch was timid, but when you took a step back to get closer to him you felt his palm against your body. He moved his hand from your spine until he back of your hair. You tilted your head back. You didn’t really know what was happening.. The moment was a little scary, but because it was Alastor, you were feeling safe. He moved your hair from your back, sliding it on your shoulder.

“ Keep your eyes closed…” he took his hand from your eyes and then you felt both of his hands on your back, touching your hot skin. 

God…

You sighed as he slid his nails against your epidermis. It felt like he was tracing lines. Was he writing something ?

“ Alastor..” you whispered and he hummed in response. “ Can I… Can I do the same..?” you felt him flinching and you bit your lips. Were you too greedy? Did you break the moment you were having? You knew that Alastor was being vulnerable right now… You knew he had problems with others' touch. Something you had to learn even if it did hurt you when you were younger. 

“ If you keep your eyes closed.”

You gasped as his finger dipped softly into your skin.? He said yes? He said yes, he said yes, he said yes. 

He took his hand off your back, which you were already missing, and you heard him take off his clothes. You kept your eyes closed, you would never betray his trust. Never. Youknew it was another step in your friendship.. Was it a friendship… Was Alastor just a friend? …

Did you want Alastor to stay as a friend? 

“ I will be sitting down, my back toward you.”

You felt his hand take yours and bring it toward him. You didn’t want to touch his skin right now, you could feel his hand shake a little. You put your hand on his curly hair and stroke it. You wouldn’t touch him unless he was relaxed.

“ Tell me if you want me to stop. Tap me somewhere on my body.”

He didn’t answer but you could feel him squeeze your hands. You breathed and began to trail your hand near his shoulder. You caressed them softly, from the tips of your finger, just like Alastor did.

Just like he did, you would make him feel safe.

You slid the tips of your finger on his back and you felt him tensed. You stopped, waiting for him to tell you it was too much. He didn’t speak and you waited for his body to relax once more before touching once again his back. You began to put more pressure on your touch, your fingers were caressing his hot skin. Was he sweating ?

“ You are beautiful, Alastor.”

“ You say that because you keep your eyes closed when you are with me.”

“ Then, let me open them.”

“...No, not yet.”

“ Alright.” you smiled a little, you didn’t want him to feel like you were upset. Right now, he was giving you more than he could imagine. You leaned toward your hands and pecked his skin. You felt him tense immediately. “ I’m sorry–”

“ No.. No, it’s okay.. I.. I was just surprised.”

You leaned your forehead against his back, your eyes still closed. Has Alastor ever been backstabbed ? Was that why he was so protective of you? Was that why he always held distance with others? You remembered him telling you once when you were children : 

“ A betrayal always comes from your own house.”

Was he talking about his dad? You only knew that Alastor didn’t like his father but that was it. You didn’t like his father because you felt like Alastor wasn’t safe with him… 

You felt Alastor moved and you leaned back. You kept your eyes closed, as long as he didn’t tell you to open them, you would keep them close. You would accept all of Alastor when he was ready. You waited for him to talk but you could only hear your own breathing.

“ Alastor.. Where..?”

“ I’m here, you are caged between my legs right now.” 

You scoffed at the choice of his words.

“ I’m caged ?” you teased him, tilting your head against his legs. You were beginning to be very tired…

“ With me.” you felt his lips against your forehead.” Would you like that? Being caged with me?” he whispered, almost as if he didn’t want you to hear him. Was he afraid of your answer? Should you be afraid that you didn’t hesitate ?

“ Yes.”

You gasped as he tugged you against his naked torso, hugging you so hard, you were almost choking but you embraced him even harder. You desperately wanted to see his face but he wasn’t ready right now. So you would wait…

He let you go and you waited a moment before he said you could open your eyes. You turned to look at him, he was wearing a pajama that belonged to your father. He went downstairs and you put on your nightgown.

What had just happened ? You felt like your bond, who was already deep, just deepened once more. You turned your head toward the door as you saw Alastor with your cup, you could already smell the  sweet scent of hot chocolate. You smiled at him as he gave you your cup and you drank eagerly.

“ I hope you’ll get warmer with this… disgusting brevage.”

“ Alastor, you have no taste. Who drinks coffee without sugar or with some sweets?”

“ Me.”

You shook your head, laughing quietly. You didn’t want to wake up your mothers. You finished your cup and went under the cover. Alastor joined you; you looked at him. You couldn’t see any trace of fatigue.

“ You think you’ll be able to sleep a little?”

“ Mhn… Who knows.” he closed his eyes with an amused smile. You rolled your eyes at him before falling asleep not even five minutes later.

You woke up hours laters, drooling on your pillow. What time was it..? You looked around, you could hear noises downstairs and Alastor wasn’t next to you anymore. You yawned as you stretched your body just like a cat. Thinking of cats, you’ll have to visit Husker next time. 

You took your robe and went downstairs, going straight toward the living room where everyone was. You hugged your mother and Marie wishing them a Merry Christmas. You looked around, Alastor wasn’t there?

“ How was your soirée sweetie?” asked Marie with a soft smile. You told them how big the mansion was, how there were so many guests, how you sang with a band, that you and Alastor danced. It was a really good soirée. You looked at the Christmas’s tree, you didn’t even notice the presents below the tree. When did you mothers put it here, it wasn’t there when you came home last night.

“ Well, it’s time to open the presents!” said your mother with absolute glee! She went toward the tree and gave Marie’s your present. She seemed really touched. You smiled at her, Marie’s was someone important for you now, so of course you would make something for her ! 

“ You bought my Mother a gift?” you felt Alastor leaned against you with a happy grin.

“ I made it, she is the one who has to support you everyday, she is a real hero!” you kissed both of his cheeks with a teasing grin. 

“ Oh dear, did you make it ?” she smiled at you as she showed everyone your handkerchiefs. It wasn’t perfect but you did try your best. You nodded and she stood up before hugging you. You sigh in relief, okay, it went well.

Everyone gave their presents. You were surprised when Alastor gave your mother a gift, thanking her for everything she has done for his mother. Your mother almost cried but she composed herself quickly. It was a perfume! Wasn’t that scarily expensive ?

Marie gifted you a book with all of her recipes. You couldn't wait to try it! Alastor suggested that you should wait for him to be with you if you wanted to try some of them, for security’s purpose. 

You took the gift you had for Alastor. Alright, now or never. You walked toward him with, you hoped, a relaxed smile but from his observing eyes, you must have failed. You put the little package in his hand.

“ Merry Christmas Alastor.”

He stared at you but opened his present. His eyes widened as he saw a beautiful watch.  You had a hard time buying a watch that looked luxurious but wasn’t too expensive. Thank God Alice had contacts everywhere.

“ Well, dear… I’m flattered.” he said with a genuine smile, already putting the watch around his wrist. You relaxed, every gift was given, you could relax now. You sat on the sofa with a sigh. Who would have thought Christmas could be so stressful? 

“ Stand up dear, I still didn’t give you my gift?”

You tilted your head but stood up. Alastor made you turn your back to him after he put his gift in your hand. You looked at him curiously but he just made a movement with his head toward the gift. You opened it carefully and gasped.

Into a beautiful white cloth  was a beautiful necklace who looked like gold with a red stone hanging from it. You stared at him, your mouth wide open. How..?

You felt Alastor getting closer, carefully taking the necklace.

“ May I?”

You nodded as he put on the necklace around your neck. You touched the red stone with a moved smile. You would never take it off. You saw from the corner of your eyes your mothers giggling behind their hands as they watched you. You rolled your eyes, amused. Who were the adults here? You felt Alastor hands on your shoulder and he whispered in your ear.

“ Merry Christmas, my dear.”

Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz@boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi

[prettiestgrlinthemorguexo]

Swipe (Lucifer Morningstar x reader) part 2

Description: after talking to a man name Luca for a few weeks, during your first date your greeted my a unsuspected man…

RAHHHH

Am I starting this legit like 2 hours after posting the first chapter yes

I genuinely love this story and I can’t wait for this part

Next chapter is a smut ;)

Warnings: lying, apologizing for said lying, first date, angst (like 0.0001%), make out sesh

⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧

Lucifer’s POV

I was hesitant, why was I so nervous? I stood outside restaurant, looking at the door. This was a mistake…I was getting ready to leave when I felt a Buzz in my pocket. I pull my phone out to see a message from you.

Y/N - Hey! I just sat down! We have a really nice table, are you almost here? :)

I staired at the message Y/N sent, I didn’t realize I wasn’t breathing until I finally let out a breath, a raspy sigh left his lips “you have to do this..” i said quietly before walking inside the establishment. The moment i walked him all eyes were on me, considering I’m not out in public much so it is expected. I made my way over to hostess stand to see the host staring at me, she looked terrified.

“Hi I have a reservation, my party member should are ready be here.” She staired at me for a few seconds longer before being dragged back to reality, “of course! Come with me!” She said as the rounded the corner to the bustling dining room, almost immediately eyes are on me, now more then ever was I happy I reserved a more private area, she let me to the archway leading to a separate and smaller dinning room, “right through this door sir please enjoy!” She said as quickly as she left. I let out a breath before walking through the archway, and there they were…

It felt as if time had stop, this was really happening. All of a sudden a wave of nerves washed over me, but through the nerves I spoke. “sorry I’m late..” I said, my voice full of nerves. When I spoke their eyes left their phone, when they saw me their E/C eyes sudden slightly, their posture changing from casual to nervous.

No ones POV

Y/N looked up to see the face of the king of hell it’s self. They had a wave of nerves wash over them, the air felt thick. “Hi um,” Y/N started to say, clearly nervous. “Sorry I think they sat me at the wrong table I’m sorry your-“

“No your not” Lucifer said as he sat down at the table. Y/N still looked confused, why was Lucifer sitting across the table from them? Before they could get a word out to question him, Lucifer spoke, “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, just let me explain...” he started, clearly nervous.

“I…” Lucifer stopped for a moment, hesitating, “I know this isn’t easy to explain but I need to come clean and apologize. A few weeks ago I started to reconnect with my daughter Charlie, and she wanted to help me meet someone…so she signed me up for Viva…and..” he said moving his eyes up to meet theirs, trying to read a reaction as the continued. “I lied about who I am..being the king of hell on a sight like that, who in the hell knows what would happen, so…I used a fake name.”

Lucifer was watching Y/N’s eyes, seeing a lot of shock, he understood where they were coming from. Lucifer looked at their eyes, Y/N stated quite for a few more seconds before speaking up. “So…the whole time I was talking to you?” They asked quietly. Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

Everything clicked in Y/N’s head, it was so obvious. L.M, having a daughter named Charlie, his divorce being at the same time. As Lucifer’s and Liliths. Y/N stay quiet, the room had a uncomfortable silence before Lucifer broke it, “I know it’s wrong now and I shouldn’t have done that, and I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me again but you have a right to know.” Lucifer said quietly, clearly preparing for the worst. Y/N face went from surprised at the facts to a warm smile “I’m not mad, I’m happy you told me early on..” they said, reaching over the table taking his hand in theirs

Lucifer’s eyes widen and lit up see their hands touch his, the nerves washed away, he couldn’t help but smile. “But, everything else you said was true right?” Y/N asked with a small laugh. “It was the only thing I promise!” Lucifer almost blurred out in reassurance. Y/N laughed as his reaction, they loved how dorky he was.

The rest of the date went off without a hitch, he was such a gentleman. They talked about everything, their interest, their family and passions. Along with the amazing food, Y/N could happily say this was the best date they’ve been on, love or dead. Lucifer couldn’t help but be infatuated with every word that left their mouth, they were perfect…the apple of his eye.

Soon it turned late into the night, the red sky turning a dark crimson, soon they were both outside on the now dead street. “I had a great time tonight.” Y/N said to him turning to face him, Lucifer felt his heart skip a beat. “Anything for you dove” Y/N face got flushed at his little name. Lucifer stepped closer, their bodies inches apart. “So, you’re not mad right?” Lucifer ask them softly.

Y/N knew he needed that reassurance, Y/N took his hand his in theirs intertwining their fingers. Their face had a soft expression fully of love. “I’m not…I could never be mad at you..” Y/N said their eyes moving their eyes from their hands to his eyes, seeing the gloss in them…his eyes could illuminate a room. They staired at each other for a few seconds before he moved in closer. Lucifer’s eyes were begging for permission.

Y/N smiled before closing the distance, their lips finally connecting, It was a sweet passionate kiss. He was quick to wrap his arms around their waist, pulling them closer. Y/N’s hands made their way to both sides of his face, feeling his soft skin and perfect hair, It was all perfect.

After what felt like an eternity, their lips a few inches apart. They could feel each others breaths, Y/N pulled him in closer burying her face into his neck. “Take me home with you..” they said quietly. Lucifer’s face when crimson red and those five words. He didn’t say a word, the tighten the grip around their waist as red smoke in golfed them both…disappearing.

TAG LIST

@reverse-soe @kazurami14 @netheris @musicb33nsstuff @rainycloud858 @yaimlight @erissco @aarkhamkknight

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 07 — CLOSE CALLS AND CONFESSIONS

wc — 950+

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You shouldn’t have opened the box. You told yourself that a hundred times as you sat cross legged on your bedroom floor, the contents of the box spread out in front of you like pieces of a broken heart.

The letters.

Each one still sealed, still marked with names that made your chest twist — Jay, Jake, Sunghoon.

You hadn’t read them in months. You hadn’t touched them in months. But something had shifted lately. Something you couldn’t put into words. And now, here you were, staring down at your worst case scenario in physical form.

You picked up Jake’s letter first.

Not to open it. Just to hold it. Just to remember what it had felt like to write it. The ink was smudged slightly in the corner from when your hand had trembled too much. You remembered crying halfway through it. Not because you were sad... just overwhelmed. Jake always had that effect on you.

You set it aside and reached for Jay’s. That one felt heavier. Like it had more weight than the others. You had written it late at night, right after your birthday last year. He’d given you a book you mentioned once in passing, and it had felt so personal. So seen. That letter had practically written itself.

And then… Sunghoon’s. The one you were most afraid of.

It was the shortest. The most raw. You didn’t even remember what you’d said in it anymore. You just remembered how your hands wouldn’t stop shaking afterward.

You quickly shoved the letters back into the box and slid it under your bed again, chest rising and falling too fast.

This was a terrible idea.

They were just letters. Just feelings. Ones you weren’t supposed to share. Ones that were supposed to stay buried forever. So why did it feel like you were on the verge of a cliff?

Later that evening, you met up with the guys for a late dinner. The restaurant wasn’t anything fancy, just a small ramen place near campus. But it had become your spot over the years. The kind of place where conversations flowed easier, laughter felt louder, and everything felt a little less complicated.

Jay was already there when you arrived, leaning back in his seat with his hoodie hood pulled halfway over his head.

“You’re late,” he said, but there was no bite in his voice. “You’re early,” you replied, sliding into the seat beside him. Jake and Sunghoon arrived a few minutes later, both arguing over whether or not Jake’s new playlist was good or objectively tragic.

“I’m telling you,” Jake said, practically throwing his phone on the table, “this is peak musical taste.”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. “Jake. One of those songs had a cowbell solo.” “It was experimental!” Jay snorted into his drink.

You smiled. The kind of smile that came effortlessly when you were with them, when everything felt like it used to. Before lines blurred. Before you started losing sleep over unsent letters hiding beneath your bed.

You let the noise wash over you as the waiter came around, scribbling down orders, the conversation bouncing from class stress to stupid TikTok trends to the upcoming campus festival.

“I signed us up for the scavenger hunt,” Jake announced halfway through dinner, proudly holding up his phone. “You what?” Sunghoon deadpanned. Jake grinned. “Team bonding, baby.” “I hate this,” Sunghoon muttered. “You love us,” Jake said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Debatable.”

You shook your head fondly, sipping your drink. But even as you laughed at their antics, you felt it again, that low hum in your chest. That awareness. That something that refused to stay quiet.

At one point, Jake leaned closer, nudging your elbow with his. “You okay?” You glanced at him. “Yeah.” “You sure? You’ve been zoning out a lot lately.” You forced a smile. “Just tired.”

He didn’t look convinced. “You know you can tell me if something’s up, right?” You nodded, trying not to look away. “I know.”

Jake watched you for a moment longer, then gave your knee a light tap under the table before turning back to Sunghoon’s playlist slander.

You tried to focus on the conversation again, but it stuck with you. That look in his eyes. You weren’t sure if it scared you or comforted you more.

Lia found you the next day outside the library, curled up on the bench with your headphones in and a notebook in your lap. You didn’t even notice her until she kicked your foot lightly.

“Hey, brooding main character,” she said, sitting beside you. “Plot twist yet?” You sighed. “Not unless you count mild emotional breakdowns.” She raised a brow. “That’s more like a subplot.”

You looked down at your notebook, where you’d written and scratched out the same sentence at least six times.

“You opened the box, didn’t you?” she asked quietly. You nodded. “Did you read any?” “No,” you said. “But it… it freaked me out.”

Lia was quiet for a moment. “Y/N, you don’t have to be scared of your feelings.” “It’s not the feelings I’m scared of,” you said. “It’s what happens when they get out.” “Maybe they’re supposed to.”

You looked at her, unsure whether you wanted to hug her or throw her off the bench. She smiled. “Just saying. Secrets only stay secrets for so long.”

You groaned and buried your face in your hands. “I hate it when you’re wise.” “You love it,” she said, linking her arm through yours. “Now come on. I need caffeine, and you need a distraction before you spiral again.”

You let her drag you toward the café, even though you knew deep down that distractions weren’t going to work forever. Not when everything was starting to slip so dangerously close to the surface. Not when you couldn’t stop thinking about what might happen if those letters ever saw the light of day.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

an enlightening soak

fused with the foe, chapter four

a/n: don't mind me, just giggling like the little love gremlin that i am

summary: “No, no, nothing is wrong, it’s just–…” he stressed before a strained exhale flowed out of him and he averted his eye, “…in the library, on the fourth bookcase up top, there are some books that should help clear things up for you.”

warnings: king!steve rogers x reader, smut, fantasy AU (monsters, but not much magic), original fantasy world, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, slow burn, innocent!reader, gore, injury, first kiss, love realization, masturbation

word count: 1282

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“…well, you didn’t say a word to me the whole night, barely even looked at me,” you sat down on the edge of the central fountain in the castle’s topiary garden, “and then at the end you just up and left without–, well, I’m not quite sure what was supposed to have happened, but I know it’s not that, I have brothers, I'm not completely clueless.”

Taking a seat beside you on the edge, Steve urged, “I know you’re not, but–,” his words then fell short as realisation washed over his features, “oh gods…”

“What?” you raised your gaze from the pebbles beneath your shoes, “what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing is wrong, it’s just–…” he stressed before a strained exhale flowed out of him and he averted his eye, “…in the library, on the fourth bookcase up top, there are some books that should help clear things up for you.”

“…you want me to read?” you cocked a brow, “I don’t understand.”

“You will, just–…” he nearly looked flustered, “give it a chance.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because it is a delicate matter that I’m not sure if I should be the one to teach you about,” he worded carefully. 

“Why couldn’t you? Do you not know either?”

“Oh, no,” he refused to meet your eye, “I know. I just don’t think–…” his restless body forced him to rise, “you should really just find those books and read them, then you’ll know.”

“Hmm…” your confusion hadn’t defused one bit, “alright.”

Bending down to pick up a fallen leaf from one of the sculptural topiary bushes, his fingers began to fiddle with it, “so, you haven’t ever had a sweetheart or anything?”

“I spent most of my life in my room, either because the door was locked or because it was just the safest option,” you nearly laughed, “so, no, I haven’t ever had someone like me in that manner.”

“Not even a servant?” he offered you the briefest of glances, “someone you’d call your friend? Maybe just someone daring enough to give a princess a kiss?”

“I’ve–,” you felt your cheeks heat up as you tried to answer, “I’ve never–… no…” lowering your vision to the gentle ripple in the fountain water, you then asked quietly, “…have someone ever been daring enough to kiss you?”  

Looking back at you, the faintest of chuckles rumbled within him at the adorable nature of your tone, “yeah.”

Dragging your fingertips gently through the water, you glanced up to meet his gaze, “we’re friends, right? Wouldn’t you say so?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “we’re friends.”

“So, if I asked you to, would you maybe kiss me?”

“What?” his head tilted slightly as if he thought he’d misheard you. 

“Would you kiss me?”

“Uh…” he glanced back down at the leaf between his fingers, “you sure you’d want that?”

“Well, I don’t make it a habit of asking for stuff I'm not sure about.”

“Right,” he exhaled, “alright, well, sure, if that’s something you’d want.”

“Great!” you exclaimed as you wiped your damp fingers on the skirt of your dress, “then do it.”

“What, right now?”

“Well, why not?” you shrugged. 

“Alright,” he let the crumbled leaf float down to the pebbly ground, “sure.”

As his long stride neared you, a bubble of nerves burst within you, “what should I do?”

Towering above your seated position as he stopped before you, “just,” his careful touch slowly found your arm, “close your eyes…” his gaze searched yours a moment as you felt your pulse begin to pick up, “the rest will come to you naturally.”

Letting your eyes flutter shut, a small gasp slipped out of you as you felt his light touch find your cheek. 

It was different than you’d imagined. It wasn’t weird or slimy, it bloody took your breath away as his lips gently brushed against your own. 

When he slowly withdrew, you couldn’t help but hypnotically drift after his fading lips before a shutter that ran down your spine caused you to float back. 

“You alright?” his warm touch lingered on your cheek a moment longer, caressing the high point as your starry eyes fluttered back open. 

“Y-yes,” you breathed raggedly, feeling as if you might tumble back into the fountain, “uh, thank you.”

And in that moment, you knew, you didn’t need any other clue to string all of the pieces inside of you together. 

You were in love with the king of Eflorr. 

Though you were in a window a few storeys up, you could still nearly hear the laboured grunts as Steve’s sweat-glistening visage sparred with a few wardens down in the wide front courtyard. Your lips couldn’t help but part slightly as you ogled. 

But just as you felt drool begin to trickle out of the corner of your mouth, a pair of hasty footsteps rounded the corner. 

“There you are, your majesty,” you hoped you weren’t too visibly flustered as you turned to face the servant, “your bath is ready.”

“Thank you, Hilda,” you offered her a polite nod before making your way back towards your private chambers. 

Steam invitingly wafted off the copper tub as you stepped inside. Layer by layer, you stripped down and draped your attire over the back of the folding screen that stood in the very corner of the room. Sinking into the bubbles, a soft sigh seeped from your lips as you melted back against the bathtub. 

With your thoughts still floating back in the courtyard where Steve was training, your fingertips couldn’t help but ghost over your lips as they tingled at the memory of his. 

As your eyes fluttered closed, your touch did as it had formed a tendency of ever since you read those books the monarch had advised you to educate yourself with. Fluttering down your soaked frame, your touch wandered over every spot that caused frail whimpers to flow out of your lungs. 

But just as your bubbly fantasies began to drift you away completely, the sudden sound of the door to your chambers being burst open jolted you out of it. 

Absentmindedly wandering in, Steve’s gaze was glued to the papers in his grasp, “the town meeting is starting in an hour, would you–,” he finally looked up as you twisted around and the bathwater sloshed at your startled motion, “oh,” he froze, thankfully not seeing much as both the tub’s high walls as well as the lush bubbles obscured your exposed frame, “I am so sorry,” from the looks of it, he’d already freshened up after his recent activities, “I didn’t–, I should have knocked,” he swiftly turned back around to leave, “I’ll just ask you later, I’m sorry.”

“Ask me what?” your voice halted him as his hand clasped the door handle. 

With his back firmly turned to you, he said stiffly, “uh, I was just wondering if you’d like to join.”

“Join?”

“The council meeting,” he swiftly squashed the innuendo that your hazy brain had conjured, “if it’s alright with you, I’d love your opinion on some of the things on the agenda today.” 

“You would?”

“Dove, your mind is brilliant,” he stated, “of course, I want your input on all the important matters.” 

Even though your cheeks were already aflame, that compliment only managed to ignite the fire. 

“When does it start?” 

“In an hour.”

“Alright,” you bit down on your bottom lip, “I’ll see you in an hour then.” 

“Great,” his white-knuckled fist then twisted the door handle, “have a nice bath–, I mean, uh… bye,” he stumbled over his words as he rushed to leave. 

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[the-penguin-of-baskervilles]

Chapter 30

The Princess & the Lawyer

Summary: Princess makes slow progress in her recovery. Meanwhile, Lloyd’s hunt for answers leads him into a trap.

Word Count: 1,550

Warnings: Adult content, cannon level violence, coarse language, 18+ readers only. 

Masterlist 

Chapter 30: The Spy in Apartment Five

Lloyd’s footsteps echoed off the cement walls of the stairwell as he climbed toward Princess’ apartment. The cinder block walls smelled faintly of mildew, and the chill of the metal railing under his palm hinted at how sharply the temperature had dropped. Gale-force winds had eased into spitting snow, and for once, Lloyd found the snow preferable.

Three-quarters up the third flight of stairs, his phone buzzed. Pausing, he glanced at the caller ID before answering.

“Phillip,” he said, wedging the phone against his ear.

“Hello, Mr. Hansen. I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.”

“It’s as good as any.”

“I’ve found the perfect item for you. It checks all your boxes—expensive, elegant, timeless. One of a kind. The pearls are perfectly matched, and the craftsmanship—”

“What did it appraise for?” Lloyd cut in.

“Just over $400,000.”

“And the value ten years ago?”

“It was last sold five years ago for $319,000. The craftsmanship is exquisite.” 

“I’ll take it. Have a courier bring it over around three.”

“Are you sure? Perhaps you’d like to see pictures. I can email them…”

“No. Just bill my account.” 

Lloyd ended the call and slid the phone into his pocket. He climbed the last steps, reaching the fourth floor. Moving quickly down the hall, he stopped at the fifth door on the right. Princess’ apartment.

He inserted his copy of the key, unlocked the door, and pushed it open with deliberate care. A faint mechanical click halted him. His breath caught and the familiar sound raised the hair on the back of his neck. Freezing, he peered through the narrow gap. A device sat perched on the edge of the foyer table, a fishing line running from its trigger to the door.

Lloyd’s gaze tracked the wire. A Claymore mine. A few more inches, and it would’ve been the end of him—and likely anyone within thirty meters.

He unhooked the wire from the door, keeping the tension steady, and eased inside. Wrapping the wire around his hands, he edged toward the mine, eyes glued to the pressure plate trigger. Finally, he was close enough to disengage the pins in the trigger device. After securing the wire and disarming the bomb, he rolled his shoulders out, breathing deeply as relief washed over him.

He crouched down and inspected the device. “M18 Claymore… half a pound of C4…” Lloyd shook his head. “Fucking over kill.” 

The destructive power would’ve leveled the room and thrown enough shrapnel into the surrounding apartments to kill any unfortunate occupants. Grimacing, he reassembled the trap exactly as he’d found it. The element of surprise mattered more than his personal distaste for the task and he promised himself that it was only a temporary measure.

Lloyd moved down the short hallway and stepped over a second tripwire, spotting another Claymore. “Asshole,” he grumbled, sneering at the booby trap. 

In the living room, he settled on the sofa. His eyes narrowed on a leather tote bag resting on the armchair. Princess’ work bag. The one missing since the car accident. On the coffee table, a file lay open. Lloyd leaned forward, reading the label. He scowled, sighed, rubbed his aching temples, and sat back to wait.

It didn’t take long.

The sound of the front door opening was followed by the quiet disarming of the first Claymore. Instead of coming down the hallway, the footsteps turned and went into the kitchen. Rustling takeout bags and the clang of a drawer signaled activity on the other side of the wall. 

Lloyd steepled his fingers and waited, staying perfectly still.

A man emerged from the kitchen holding a container of curry that smelled of fragrant spices. At the sight of Lloyd in the living room, he froze.

“Hello, Courtland.”

“Lloyd.”

“Nice setup with the Claymore. Overkill, but more contained than Prague.”

“Prague wasn’t me,” Court said, setting the box of curry on the coffee table.

“Cahill?”

Court nodded.

“Impressive.” Lloyd crossed his legs. “Go ahead, sit down. Your lunch is getting cold.”

“How did you find me?”

“Simple deduction. You needed a place to lay low, and Princess’ apartment was convenient.”

“How is she?”

“Awake. Mostly alert,” Lloyd said. “Her coordination and fine motor skills are off and her words don’t come easily, but she’s doing better.”

Court’s expression hardened, guilt flickering beneath the surface. Lloyd tried to enjoy it but found satisfaction elusive. He watched as Court took a few bites and then asked, “How much does she remember?”

“Bits and pieces. The doctors say that’s normal. Their long-term prognosis is optimistic, but it’ll take months of rehab to get her back to normal.”

Court studied him. “You don’t sound optimistic.”

“Looking at her now, it’s hard to see recovery as possible. It takes faith… more than I have.”

Court tilted his head. “You’ve never seen someone you love in pain before, have you?”

“No. Not like this.”

“Are you going to stick around for her? Or are you going to fall apart?”

“She doesn’t need me. I’ve done enough damage by dragging her into this.”

Court snorted. “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Mind your own business, Gentry.”

Lloyd’s gaze shifted to Princess’ notebook on the table. “You always rifle through women’s things when you trespass in their apartments?”

“I’m a spy. So were you.”

“Touché.”

Court picked up a water bottle. “She left it in your office. I brought it here to keep it out of evidence lockup.”

“Reading it was part of keeping it safe?”

Court smirked. “Hey, I solved my mystery. You’re still chasing your own tail.”

“Nguyen was officially charged this morning.”

“He’s not the guy.  You’re overlooking the hospital staff. Anyone who worked there between 1999 and 2002 should’ve been investigated. Especially after you identified Li Wei Chapman. Look for a connection to those first victims and the hospital employees in the right time frame and you’ll find your killer.” 

“You killed Tafferty, didn’t you?”

“If I hadn’t the NSA or China would’ve.”

“Interesting that your definition of solving a mystery includes committing a murder of your own,” Lloyd said. 

Court rolled his eyes. “If I hadn’t, you would have, and then you’d be cooling your heels in prison. I did you a favor. The least you could say is thank you.” 

Lloyd curled his lips over his teeth. Fixing his eyes on a point over Court’s right ear, he spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable. “Thank you.”

“Mmhh. You’re welcome. Is that why you came here? To ask about Westin?”

“No. I’m here with a message. Don’t ever contact Princess again or it’ll be your corpse in an alley. You understand? Don’t drag her into your investigations or whatever little drama you kick up in the future. Stay very, very, far away from her. Forever. Are we clear?” 

Court nodded. “Yes.”

Lloyd stood up. He grabbed Princess’ bag and the file, shoved the folder into the bag and slung it over his shoulder. 

“Stay here if you must, but clean up before you go. Princess doesn’t need to know you were ever here. And she never finds out about the Claymore you rigged to her door. You know you could kill everyone in a thirty meter radius with that thing.”

“Unlikely. It only has half a pound of C4,” Court said.

Lloyd sighed. “Awesome. That’s just… wonderful. Make sure to lock up when you leave.”

Outside, snow flurries danced in the air as Lloyd headed to his car. Traffic was light and he made it back to Bishop & Howard in record time. He paced in his office, flipping through Princess’ notebook and comparing her notes to his own. There were plenty of clues, but the facts refused to align. At 2:57, a knock on the doorframe broke his focus. A courier handed him a velvet case. Lloyd opened it briefly, inspecting the necklace, and checked an item off his to-do list before filing the jewelry box away in his bottom desk drawer.

Court’s comment about the hospital staff lingered in his mind, refusing to let up. It felt like a long shot, but there were no other moves left on the board. Not with Shun Nguyen stuck in prison, refusing visits from investigators, and even from Peter Shaw. He wouldn’t give an account of his actions or offer up an alibi. It was like 2002 all over again. Lloyd set aside his pride and dialed Annabeth Greene’s number from memory.

“Dr. Greene’s office. Laura speaking.”

“Hello Laura. This is Lloyd Hansen. Can you pass along a message for me? I need a crosscheck for any link between Li Wei or Zoe Chapman and Forest View Hospital staff from 1998 to 2003. I’ve emailed Dr. Greene a list of names.”

“I’ll let her know.”

Hanging up, Lloyd swiveled his desk chair around to face the window. Snow was falling in steady sheets, though it was only the fourth of October. He watched the flurries dance in the air, and for the first time in weeks, his mind felt still. Answers were coming. They had to come because Lloyd was certain of one thing: Shun Nguyen had not kidnapped Laine Cruz. Whoever had done so was still out there, a free man.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Next - Chapter XXXI

Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[lizardkingeliot]

I was going to wait until Wednesday to share another snippet of the upcoming first chapter of my rockstar Lestat/photographer Louis fic but then I remembered there are no rules saying I can only share snippets on Wednesdays so I'm just gonna toss it out into the void today instead. I'm hoping to have the first chapter posted within the next couple weeks so keep your fingers crossed for me... 🥰

—

Louis froze, stopped scrolling. Hovering his thumb a few millimeters over the phone. Feeling what he saw beaming out from the screen like a kick to the throat. His mouth tilting open and his pulse picking up all at once. He felt the tingle of it all the way down in his bones. It was—

A suggested reel. The account: thevampirelestat. The caption: Introducing The Vampire Lestat. You loved to loathe him in Daniel Molloy’s best selling page-turner Interview with the Vampire. Now get ready to… Louis’ eyes unfocused. He couldn’t read the words that followed when his fumbling thumb clicked to expand the caption. Letting his gaze settle instead on the video playing in a shock of purple and chartreuse there on the tiny rectangle of his phone. Feeling a flash of heat creep up the back of his neck. Heat like fingers, heat like a lover’s living breath. It was—

Lestat. Golden threads of his hair tumbling over his lovely broad shoulders. The shock of his eyes like two blue planets drawing Louis into orbit. His chiseled face, a flash of his teeth. His fangs. Glitter and blood splashed all over. He was dancing. Fuck. Singing—he was probably singing. But it took Louis at least one full loop of the reel to realize the volume on his phone wasn't on. His thumb finding the button on the edge and pressing down until the sound blared to life through the tiny speaker.

Louis had to let the reel loop back to the beginning before he could make out a single lyric. The sight of Lestat’s swiveling hips and half-descended fangs as he purred along to an electric guitar enough to leave Louis feeling like his brain had been set alight.

Why the long face, my pretty baby?

Louis sat utterly mesmerized. He was a mortal locked in a trance. Watching the ninety-second clip and letting the image of Lestat singing and swaying and snarling and crawling on all fours like a big hungry cat wash over him for so long he didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally snapped back to himself. Shook his head, pressed the button to make the screen go dark and tossed the phone down on the sofa beside him. Minutes, hours, days. He let out the enormous breath he’d been holding far too long. Thump of his pulse like a drum in his temples, his neck, the tips of his fingers.

His cock rock hard and straining the front of his pants to such a degree he would have laughed had he been able to feel anything but the warm clutch of desire deep inside him. The need of those familiar fangs in his neck that had utterly consumed him.

[zoropookie]

HOW HATERS ARE BORN (HHAB)

♡ chapter twenty-nine — bittersweet (💋)

Reading the text didn’t bring tears to his eyes, but for some reason, it still stung badly.

It wasn’t the words themselves, but a twinge of disappointment that he felt shortly afterward. It ruminated in his thoughts the minute that the car ride started, and all he was left with was his own disappointment, and a lack of fight left.

And as he sat in that passengers seat, the words seemed to be knocked out of him yet again. The world blurred into a haze of colors and shapes. He clenched at his own palms until his knuckles turned white and his mind spiraled.

It suffocated him, but he knew a lot about that to endure it anyway.

"You know," A female's voice rippled through his chaos to grasp his attention. "It's not that bad."

He blinked, slowly refocusing his gaze and turning his head manually towards Furina. "What is."

"The (Y/N) stuff." She said, glancing every now and then from the road towards him.

His expression was of weary resignation. "You think so?" He sighed out, the words feeling heavy on his tongue every time he even spoke.

"They may be mad at you right now, but you have a plan." She said, her gaze steady. "It may not be fool proof, but you'll come out of it with a clearer conscience than that Tartaglia ever will. I promise."

But even with her promises, it didn't feel right to be comparing his peace of mind to another's. Maybe his conclusion would be completely different after all. Her words rushed over him like a soothing balm, the turmoil that he usually felt being nudged away.

For the first time in forever, he felt somewhat of a spark of determination. "Thanks." He murmured audibly, a small gasp coming from the former as he cringed, "For...all this, I guess. It's not often people are this nice to me."

"I didn't think you were capable of being grateful! I should gloat in this." She grinned, "You've grown used to people treating you like a liability. Whether you like it or not, it's not normal. Wean yourself off of that as soon as possible."

The rest of the car trip was silent. He couldn't entirely take his mind off of the events, and even the meeting he's taking himself to, but the passing scenery outside the car window put his mind elsewhere until the car slowed to a stop.

He put his back cap and mask on with less resolve than what he started with, unable to shake the feeling of discomfort her felt now that the gravity of the situation weighed down on him. He looked again out the window at the exact seat he wanted before exhaling. "If I don't come back, just abort mission."

"Don't be dramatic." Furina's eyes dulled, also knowing this situation was wary. "But...I'll be near, okay? Just in case this goes south and it actually is someone trying to kill you."

"Yeah, it's really fun being shark bait, thank you." He shook his head to himself, opening the car door to approach the cafe.

The building was more certain than he was in that moment, a warm glow beckoning the area. He never realized how little he went out these days, this same coffee shop was entirely different than the last time he came. The familiar sight and sounds of the city he used to know was suddenly unfamiliar to him.

Muted voices to him inside the little shop, all rambling vicariously. It was funny, the main reason he stopped even coming here was because things started getting busier and busier. Ei would apply pressure to him once he agreed to the streaming stuff. Did he ever really lose his identity if he never got to have one in the first place?

He squared his shoulders once the espresso he ordered was ready, quickly nodding in acknowledgement to the barista and sitting outside for a breath of fresh air. Everything around him was suffocating, and he never thought he'd be like one of those guys who are scared of having an actual life outside of their computer.

Maybe that was her plan, now that he was thinking about it.

He let the cool breeze wash over him, despite almost his whole face being covered except his eyes. He felt skittish, and uneasy, fingers lightly tapping at the to go cup of espresso in his hands. "What am I even looking for..." He murmured irritably, annoyance plaguing his thoughts.

It was a long, and arduous three minutes he sat there thinking about who Twitchpatch may possibly be now that he knew about Childe. How the fuck did he even know who it was? A familiar of his, maybe? But not that many people know about Narukami coffee shop unless someone who did told someone else.

And if they did...then there's also a limited amount of people. He didn't know what to think...until it hit him. Why would Twitchpatch, a news source, know about an indie coffee shop if they weren't also from Inazuma..?

And once he came to that conclusion as the cup was near his lips ponderingly, a feminine voice called, "I didn't think you'd be early."

His heart dropped to his stomach in an instant, his eyes slowly lifting up to meet the woman's voice. There, standing before him, was a sight that he never thought he'd be able to see again in his entire lifetime. Time stopped for him, and he slowly began to look mortified once he realized...

"What the fuck, Makoto." Scaramouche's voice cut through the air, sharp and accusatory. He almost lost it, if it weren't for her softer expression evening out.

"Hey, Kuzu." Makoto said with a softer tone, sitting down in front of him hesitantly. "I thought I wouldn't feel anything out of this, but...it's different when it's you."

"Fuck you." He snapped, his eye almost twitching from how many emotions were going through him in the moment. "Ei said you left us. You made that decision on your own."

"You're missing a lot of the story."

"And even with that in mind, I didn't do shit to you for you to play fake fucking journalist." He pointed. "Yeah, forgot about that little detail? The lie you capitalized off in humor of both of our downfalls? They're scattering to find a way for me to clear the controversy right now because of you."

"Is that not what Ei wanted? Controversy all of the time?" Makoto raised an eyebrow, sitting back in the chair. "It wasn't my desired effect, trust me."

"Yeah? That wasn't what you wanted to happen? I thought you were the one to always think about what you do before you do it. I guess. Fucking. Wrong." He seethed, his teeth grinding into each other. "I should narc on you right now."

Makoto's expression softened, and she reached out tentatively, her hand hovering in the air. "Please, just listen to me for a second."

"Why should I?" He recoiled. "I'm not even mad about what you did to me. But you had no place bringing other people into this. You don't get to waltz back in to my life after doing all of this and act like what you did was some sort of poetic justice. That's not how this works."

"I had no intention on it." Makoto sighed, her shoulders slumped as her eyes narrowed away from him. "Listen...Ei and I had a bad argument before I left. I felt like she was starting to change after all of this and she denied all of it and threatened me. I can't save a dying group if its leader isn't open to criticism."

He scoffed, bitterness tainting his tone. "And you only decided to tell me about this after you left me clueless? About where you were after you fucked off and went off the radar without a word? Are you not essentially just doing what she did?"

"I never said that what I did was okay!" Makoto frowned. "This meeting is harder than I thought it'd be...I wanted to figure out a way I could get you out of there as quick as possible, but I didn't have a way at that time. I was reckless...and it lead to this. If I had the ability to rally up more capable people for the job, I would. But this is all I've got. And you shouldn't be okay with how you're being treated there just because of what I did."

He knew that he wanted to clap back at her again, but he knew she was right in that accord. He chewed at the inners of his mouth, staring at her with an intense gaze.

"You lost the spark in your eyes, Kuzu." She said, "I've seen your streams. You're not even happy doing it, it's like there's nothing there. Why do you do them, in that case?"

"I didn't lose it." He corrected.

"Every time your stream, it feels like you're not passing time. You don't want to be there, and not many people can see it, but you used to look different...more lively." Makoto observed, "It feels like I'm looking at a carcass of what that used to be. You don't eat much, you don't sleep with what I've seen. You always seem like you're worried about something. It's disheartening. Excuse me for thinking of a way out for you."

He sighed fiercely at her, "What do you want from me? What do you want me to do about it?" He had trouble looking into her eyes. "You really...really fucked with me, Makoto."

Makoto sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their shared history hanging heavy in the air. But amidst her own regrets, she stood up after a second and gave a small smile. "You should stop, this isn't good for you. You're...like, deep frying your own brain at this point."

"How do you know what's good for me?" He bit back one last time before feeling his confidence weaken. "You don't even know a thing about me these days."

Her smile didn't waver at his words anymore, she gave him a light pat on his head in mild comfort before stepping back. "Stop streaming, Kuzu." She said, "And if it makes you feel better, air everything out. It's the least you could do for all that she made you do, right? I'm sorry I won't be there beside you to see it."

That light pat was something that he hated, but at the same time, haven't gotten the chance to be granted in ages. He never gave people the chance to get too close to him after all of this, nor even give them the reason to in the first place. It was bittersweet, his heart swelled with the same confusion and kindness Makoto gave him back them.

He wanted to prove her wrong, but he knew it was beyond his pride to keep her by his side. Even with how aware she was that she was right about him. Looking at her after a while, she could tell from his eyes that he was hurt. "I'll see you again sometime, okay? Reconcile with that (Y/N) if you ever get the chance; you seem to like them anyway beyond all the fake news."

She left as quick as she came, and with Scaramouche's previous arrogance and general disposition. He didn't know what to do anymore.

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

YOU ARE on your way to being one of the hottest streamer in your nation at the moment, racking a monthly average of 10 million viewers, but something specific bothers you about it. you know that a lot of people hate you, but there's this one account. one account that's been following you since the early days of your career. they leave a flood of rude comments in your stream, your moderators banned each account they made, but they keep making more. you are at the end of your tether. but you are yet to find out that this persistent cockroach is none other than your friend's friend (and the only other streamer that's bigger than you), scaramouche.

taglist ♡ @thystarsshine @veekoko @gumickajolli @simonisferal @kamiboo

@justpeachyteastea @feiherp @pinkismyfavcolor @aether-darling @kunisnaomi

@keiiqq @mine-lu @featuredtofu @danhenglovebot @k4zushi

@kyon-cherri @b4tm4nn @iiinaurate @quacking-simp @auroratumbles

@kookiibun @ulquiorraswife @amvpk01 @simplysm1le @h3xi2g0n3

@alatusorrow @scaranthropy @mellowberrie @magica-ren @vernith

@kabukipookie @bananasquash @suqarlaced @dellalyra @lightyagamifan

@yourfavoritefreakyhan @heartsforseo @yomishen @pwushizz @swivy123

@strxwberryfetish @ibyobi @ashfrommars4 @chemiru @ainnofinway

@agaygothicmushroom @levianamor @dragontammerz @wth121 @lylovw

@morgyyyyyyy @lovemari @suniika @littlesliceofcheese @yumejo89 @liuaneee

@franaby @tiddieshakeshownu @mimi3lover (bold users means i'm having trouble tagging you)

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

- this chapter contains mentions of body image issues -

Chapter 11 - More of You | ‘Ours’

You tucked Teddy into her car seat. She was a little fussy but it was fine. This is what you and Trent had discussed. Spending more time together was important so you planned to drive with Trent to training this morning, Teddy in tow. She wasn’t the best in the car you thought it was mostly due to the fact that Trent was focused more on the road than her. As weeks went on your insecurity about her preference to Trent and indifference about you only continued to grow. You dropped him off at AXA and he said goodbye to you with a kiss as you got out of the car to switch seats to drive home. A tearful Teddy pulling on his heart strings as he walked into the building. You got home and you needed to give her a bath. This season had flown by. Having a child just made the days blur together and tomorrow was suddenly the last home match. To your surprise, Teddy actually really enjoyed baths, you wanted her to like them. It was much easier to do things when she enjoyed them. It was obviously important to keep her clean. You gently lowered her chubby tanned skin into the infant tub. Most of her body and face well above the water for safety. You poured warm water over her frequently to keep her from getting cold. You felt like you were constantly walking on eggshells around Teddy though. Anything to keep her happy, anything to get her to like you. You washed her with gentle soap and massaged her hair clean. She seemed happy. You plucked her out of the tub and wrapped her up in a fluffy warm towel. She looked adorable. You took a few photos of her now clean and bundled and sent them to Trent. Frankly, you were just relieved you were getting through another day but it was an added benefit when she looked so cute.

‘She’s perfection. Thank you for taking such good care of her. We’re so lucky to have you, mummy 😘’

“Hi…” you giggled as you woke up Sunday morning to Trents lips on your neck.

“Morning, baby. I have to get going but I’ll see you at the stadium.” he whispered in the quiet stillness of the morning. Trent had to head off to meet the team at the hotel down in the city centre before the match. You rolled over to face him and pressed your lips to his.

“Proud of you.” you whispered back and he smiled. Liverpool had a good season. It didn't go exactly to plan but they were finishing in the top 3 and Trent had done a great job his first year as vice captain. You were really proud of him. “Love you, T.” you cooed as he got out of bed and began to get dressed. He winked back at you while he pulled a white long sleeve LFC t-shirt over his head. After he left, you got Teddy up and sat and had breakfast with her. It was another day of mashed fruit, today, bananas. She made a mess. It was becoming a bit messier everytime she ate now as she was getting more accustomed to dictating her own movements and control of her motor skills. It was annoyingly cute to clean it all up every time but you were proud of her for doing her best just the same as you were proud of Trent for doing his.

For the final time this season you pulled the tiny #66 jersey over her curly hair and put her in the matching shorts. Every single time you saw the ‘daddy’ jersey it made your heart skip a beat. Even though you were struggling with your own things you really did love Trent and Teddy’s bond. For your own look, you went for something fairly simple a Loewe tank, a pair of printed Cargo pants, and white trainers. You put your hair back into a sleek bun because lately Teddy was loving pulling on your hair and it was driving you nuts. You brought one of the first Chanel bags Trent had gotten for you. You remember opening the box like it was yesterday. You were sat on your apartment floor in New York with Lauren.

You opened the box and undid the tissue paper painfully slow for her, picking up a dust bag before removing a silver metallic Chanel 22 handbag. Your friend audibly gasped as your hand grazed over the shiny calfskin. Neither of you were strangers to designer items, shopping being a favorite hobby of yours but again… to receive this from a man was different. A card was sat in the box and she grabbed it quickly before you could even try.

It was also the first time he invited you to come see him play at Anfield. Now, you were on your way in a car to see him play three and a half years later with your daughter. Trent’s whole family was there, some of his friends as well. It was nice to share these types of moments with them but also nice to have extra helping hands with Teddy at matches. Marcel loved being with Teddy. You had a built-in babysitter when he was around. He held her in the stands on the final sunny day at the stadium. Thankfully but expectedly Liverpool had won the match. After a few farewells to players that were departing the club you and the whole family made your way down to the pitch. You waited on the touchline next to Dianne holding Teddy. Trent ran over and wrapped his strong arms around you picking you up.

“Another one in the books” you cooed before you gave him a kiss. Trent hugged Dianne and then took Teddy to hold. You walked the perimeter of the pitch as Trent clapped thanking the fans for their support this season.

“Thank you for being so amazing this year.” he whispered in your ear, pulling you closer to him by your hips as you walked. “Couldn't do this without you.” he pressed a kiss into your hair.

“You’d be just fine” you giggled hearing the stadium sing ‘The scouser in our team’ as you processed by them. You took a billion photos. Memories you’d cherish for a lifetime. You held Teddy as Trent stood behind you posing for a photo.

“Did I tell you how good you look today? Almost had me distracted during the match.” Trent whispered cheekily as the photographer snapped away. You turned your head to get a better look at him.

“Don’t lie to me” you teased back. Teddy obviously wasn't going to let you flirt with her dad for long without an interruption. Her tiny hand grabbing Trent’s jersey to pull his attention off of you and to her. “Yes, Teddy girl, Daddy is still all yours, don’t worry.”

“C’mere baby bear” Trent grunted, lifting her up high as she squealed. “I'm still yours, baby.” he pecked your lips with his before he spun around with Teddy eliciting a fit of giggles from her. Trent, Tyler, Marcel, George, and a few other boys hung around on the pitch kicking a ball around. You loved football as much as the next person but truthfully you're not sure there was anyone who loved it more than Trent. He had just played 90 plus minutes and a whole season and that still wasn’t enough. You sat on the grass with Teddy in between your legs watching them for ages. You stayed for a long while out on the pitch with all the families and friends. It was always such a nice way to close out the seasons. It was definitely better if there was the trophy involved but this was still really nice. The club had organized a party after the match at a hotel down in the city centre the team used to meet before home matches. It wasn’t a formal event so you stayed in your clothes, Trent just changing into more comfortable Liverpool gear. You walked into a red decorated room. It was fun and you were happy to be out. You planned on having another good night celebrating with the team.

“This is my fiancé” Trent cooed introducing you to a man that had interviewed him a couple months back. Every time he said the word it felt like he was asking you all over again. When the conversation lulled you looked up at him.

“So we’re telling people, huh?” You giggled intrigued after he boasted all about your proposal to the man.

“Well we’re not hiding it are we?” He laughed pulling you in for a kiss.

A few days later, for one final time you were celebrating the success of this season with the club. The team was hosting a big dinner party for just the players and their immediate families. There were still a lot of people but it was much smaller than the party after the final match. There would be no media or outsiders. Only you and Trent were going. You had decided not to bring Teddy so Dianne had come over to watch her. You wanted to have a fun night out together. It was a fairly formal dinner. You wore a tiny little black Jacquemus dress and a Bottega gold heel. Simple but effective. Trent popped on white knit polo shirt and tan trousers. You were stood at the mirror of your foyer getting one last look before you headed out when he came over. He cheekily squeezed your ass and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“You look way too good. Are you sure you want to go?” he cooed, inspecting the way your tits pressed together held by a flimsy gold metal charm. He ran his warm hands up your exposed back.

“Mmmmm are you sure you want to go?” You spun around and ran your hands over his chest fixing the collar of his shirt. His scent was heavenly. You felt like it sent you into a haze. You weren't sure you wanted to even go when he looked like this. “We could be a little late.” you whispered looking up at him. Trents eyes lit up excitedly until you heard Dianne calling for him. She wanted to double check where something was for the dogs.

“I can't believe I’m saying this but we should probably go.” Trent spoke walking back to meet you at the front door after going to assist his mum. He ran his hands over his face disgruntled that he was essentially turning down your offer to mess about.

“It’s okay, I’m really hungry anyways.” you giggled lacing your fingers with his. “Let’s go pretty boy.” you cooed before you went to say bye to Teddy heading out for the night. You had lied. You sat at a large table next to trent on your one side who kept his hand high on your thigh. You picked sparsely at your food the whole night. To your right, Andy’s wife sat. You’d definitely gotten closer since you moved to Liverpool. She had kids and was a nice confidant when it came to navigating the family and football crossover. You yapped about the engagement as she peppered you with questions about the wedding plans. You definitely had started thinking about things but really had made no movements. As it got later into the evening you started to get a little anxious. Your maternal worries about not saying goodnight to your baby setting in.

“You alright?” Trent asked subtly not wanting to draw attention to you. You looked at him and really could only see her face in his. Even though you felt a tensness about her affection towards you, you still missed Teddy and wanted to be with her.

“I know she’s fine with your mum, I just miss her. I don’t want her getting used to going to sleep without one of us there.” you tried to explain quietly to Trent.

“I understand, but it's just one night, baby. Relax a little.” he tried to comfort you but it kind of felt like the wrong thing to say. His hand squeezed your bare thigh.

“T…” you whined looking at him not really happy with his response. “I need to get home to her. You stay honest. I’m sorry. Do you mind?” you gave him a sad smile. You felt guilty wanting to leave the celebration but you weren't going to be much fun with all this anxiety weighing you down.

“I’ll go with you, yeah? I just want to spend my time with you anyways.” Trent cooed, adjusting his position in his seat as if he was going to stand up right away. You placed your hand on top of his resting on the table. You shook your head ‘no.’

“No, baby. I will see you when you come home. Have fun for me. I want you to have a good night.” you tried to reassure him. He felt uneasy about the whole thing but you were adamant about leaving alone. Andy’s wife gave you a hug goodbye. She understood what you were feeling and after you left she made an effort to tell Trent it was all fine. You went home to Teddy. Dianne was surprised you were coming in alone but she didn’t say anything. Trent had done well and deserved to let loose with his teammates. You sat in Teddy’s nursery listening to the white noise and her tiny snores as she slept peacefully. You were cross legged on the couch and began to rethink your decision. Your heart was much more at ease with eyes on your baby girl but your brain was running rampant at the thought of Trent on a night out. You trusted him wholeheartedly. He had been texting you since the moment you left but you just felt off. You initiated this. You left him. You told him to stay so as you laid in your shared bed, it occurred to you that the feeling of annoyance you were experiencing was completely self inflicted. It bothered you that he was out, having a good time while you were worried about your little girl who no doubt would be more excited to see him in the morning than you. You were jealous.

Trent came home, late, loud and drunk. You shoved your annoyance down and gave in to his incessant need to be closer to you in bed. It wasn’t his fault. You woke up the next morning and went about things as usual. A normal day although not so normal because football was now on pause until preseason began in a few months time and a few England international friendlies that were also on the schedule. You went into your town to get lunch with Trent and Teddy wanting to get out of the house and take advantage of the nice weather. You sat outside at a restaurant and picked at some chips while Trent bounced Teddy on his knee when an older woman had approached your table.

“Just wanted to tell you how gorgeous your family is. She is absolutely stunning. Looks just like her dad.” she smiled complimenting you all. Trent entertained the women as he gushed about how great Teddy was already. You smiled and nodded a long. A tinge of your heart hurting that everyone noting just how much she looked like him and never you. Before you returned home you ran a few errands. You were in the queue at a shop to check out when Teddy began to cry in her pram.

“Hey, hey, teddy girl, what’s wrong?” it was so sudden you didn't understand. She had been so good all day. You picked your head up to look for Trent because you were next in line. Between your crying child and the waiting cashier you were getting overwhelmed. It occurred to you that Trent had stepped out the door to answer a phone call and that was what triggered Teddy’s fit. Daddy had left. You shut your eyes frustrated and sad. You apologized to the cashier. The girl at the register gave you a soft sympathetic smile watching you struggle to pull your credit card out from your wallet as you simultaneously tried to sooth Teddy in your arms.Trent walked back in and rushed over.

“What happened?” he asked inquisitively and confused. He plucked her out of your arms and she began to calm. Her cries quieting, her movements stilling.

“Nothing. It's nothing.” you snapped a little at him. He was so lost. Why were you all of a sudden mad at him? You walked to your car carrying the bags aggressively.

“Let me take them, baby.” He offered seeing you struggle with the weight.

“No” you blurted out again quite harshly.

“Hey… what the hell is going on? What did I do? I thought we were having a good day? Is this about last night? I thought you wanted me to stay, I was doing what you told me to.” he began to ramble as you stood in the car park.

“No! It's not about last night. It's about literally every single night and day.” you began to cry. Trent instinctively pulled you into him. He just wanted to calm you immediately but you had worked yourself up too much. His arms wrapped around you tightly and securely. You heaved against him. “She loves you so much more than me. I don't understand. I carried her for fucking 9 months and all we ever hear is how much she looks like you. I feel horrible.” you pulled away suddenly though realizing what you had just said. “Oh god, I’m fucking terrible. I didn't mean it like that. She’s beautiful, you’re beautiful and I know you do so much for her and us and you deserve all the love she gives you. Ugh!” you sighed frustrated. “I’m sorry. I’m just jealous and it’s making me really sad.” you pouted as the tears continued to run down your face. Trent's face was almost blank; he was so taken aback by the sudden outburst but he wasn't exactly surprised with the way you were feeling. He saw your body language shift every time someone told you Teddy looked just like him, everytime she wanted to be with him, all the times your daughter clung to him every second that he was around her. She refused to let her daddy go, breaking your heart all done with an adorable grin and a soft giggle.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish you didn’t feel this way but I respect the fact that you do. It’s been really hard, this adjustment. I can’t do as much for her as you do and I know that. I wouldn't be able to handle this without you, I can’t even feed her the way you can and it kills me when you feel like she’s rejecting you. I know you might not see it or feel it but I know she appreciates you so much. She relies on you. She loves you, baby. I love you. She needs you, I need you.” he cooed, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“It's not fair, I just want her to smile at me the way she smiles at you. I want her to want me. I do so much for her. She takes up my entire life and then.” your breath started to hitch and rapidly increase. “And then she takes you away from me.” you started crying more.

“Aw, Y/N. C’mon.” he pulled you in for a kiss. “C’mere. No one could ever take me from you. You always have that number one spot. It’s just different, baby. You don’t think I’m jealous you give her all your attention?” he laughed at his own admission.

“I don’t know…you shouldn't be. You’re always mine. She’s just… ours. We have to pay attention to her. You can usually feed yourself, you know? She can’t” you giggled.

“She’s ours but you’re just as important in my life, alright? You make everyday possible. Teddy and I couldn't survive without you and certainly wouldn't be able to laugh if we didn't have you.” he told you earnestly.

“I like those laughs. They’re my favorite sound to hear. I just get envious of how much more she laughs with you.” you hesitantly continued explaining your insecurities to him.

“Well, I’m very funny.” he joked before he picked up Teddy from her pram. “I’m kidding. C’mere, baby bear. We love mummy so much, right?” he asked her and she giggled like she always did with him. “That’s a certified, yes.”

“Okay, can we go home? I’m really embarrassed I just cried in a Waitrose car park.” you hid your face in the nape of Trent’s neck. He laughed a little at you and squeezed your waist before you alll got back into the car to head back to your house. When you arrived you put Teddy down for a nap.

“Do you want to sit out in the back garden? I feel like maybe we should have a longer chat.” you sheepishly asked Trent to come and sit with you. You had to get some things off your chest. You felt so sad you needed to confide in him but you were nervous to confess how you’d been feeling.

“Yeah, course. Go on, I’m following you.” You always envied the way he didn't give off a nervous energy. He was just calm all the time and here you were were practically shaking. “Want to sit with me or do you need the space?” You sat down on a lounge chair across from the couch he was sitting on silently answering his question. “Alright… baby, I love you.” He took a deep breath pausing. He was taking the reins here. As much as you’d been struggling, things had been weighing on Trent as well. “I want to talk here but you’re gonna have to be honest with me. You’re crying in bed at night. I know you're not eating enough, you’re making me nervous and I don’t know how to help you.” Trent’s calm demeanor you so admired dropped as he spoke. He looked at you desperately showing just how concerned he had grown.

“T… I….” you stumbled around the words not sure what to even say. You knew he wasn't oblivious but you had no idea he was even paying attention to certain things especially your eating habits. “I’m sorry” you said, choking back tears.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be happy. I thought I was making you happy.” he looked across at you confused and heartbroken. He wanted you to come sit with him but he didn't want to push his luck with your boundaries right now.

“I am just having a really hard time. You give me everything. I promise you make me so happy. I'm so in love with you I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everything just feels so difficult though. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I feel sick when I look at myself in the shower. I feel like I’m disappointing you.” Your tears began to fall. You watched your hands shake as they rested on your knees.

“Stop… nothing is wrong with you and you could never disappoint me. I wish you realized that you are an absolute dream to me. I wake up everyday in bed with you and I genuinely am amazed I managed to pull you. You’re the most beautiful, loving person. You take such good care of me and Teddy. Baby, I am so in love with you. Please, do not forget that.” he pleaded but you just couldn't hear it. You couldn't wrap your head around it.

“I just don’t feel that way…” you croaked out scared to even admit it. You felt guilty the moment the words left your lips.

“You don’t think I love you?” Trent was immediately put off and offended. He felt his heart drop. “Y/N, I’m being patient here but are you fucking kidding me?” He transitioned into an angrier voice. He was really trying to be supportive but how many times was he supposed to try to convince you he loves you.

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t know why you do. I don’t get it. I'm scared and overwhelmed.” you quivered fearful of his change of tone.

“Scared of what? I just don't know why you can’t accept that I do. I don't get it.” he snapped harshly using your exact phrasing to throw your comments back at you. “Baby, what do you want me to do here?” he sighed, feeling frustrated. “I need you to be healthy. I need to make you happy. How do I do that? I asked to marry you and you said yes but it’s like you don’t believe it” He stared at the ring on your finger catching some of the sun's rays.

“I don't know…” you whimpered, standing up on shaky legs and walking over to him. Even though you were mid fight all you wanted was to be comforted by him. “I’m sorry.” You cried. Laying on him. You sat next to him and pressed your forehead against his arm.

“Come here.” he wrapped you in his loving embrace. “Got to get you to see what I see. I need you to know how amazing you are for yourself, for me, for Teddy. Hmm?” He pulled your forehead off him and pressed his lips to your skin. “You wanna know why I love you? Why I want to marry you, why I wanted a baby with you? I wanted more of you in this world. That's how perfect I think you are. I wanted one more bit of you out there. I have the most beautiful daughter in the whole world and everyone can say she looks like me all they want but that's not the first thing I think of when I look at her. All I see is you. Her nose is just like yours, her laugh is starting to sound just like your childish giggle. The way she feels in my arms reminds me every bit of you. I love her because of how much I love you. And as much as I want more Y/N in the world, I’m selfish and greedy and there’s only one of you to go around so I’m not letting you go. I’m fucking marrying you. You’re mine, baby. All mine, made just for me and I’m made just for you.” You began to cry pressing your lips against his. The summer heat and his words warming your cheeks.

“I love you so much, T. Thank you for loving me.” you waffled

“I’m always going to but I just need you to love you, please. You're hurting my heart here. We’re eating good from now on. Me and you gym dates. Getting this ass in moving.” he squeezed your hip. “None of this water for breakfast. I’m not having my baby girl growing up around it. You’re beautiful and you're perfect and she needs to know that and so do you. I’m not doing enough if you don’t know how gorgeous you are. I think about this body, this face all day. I dream about you even when you're in my arms. You need to know that.” His eyes watered a little with his sincerity looking longingly into your eyes.

“Baby…” you whimpered out cowardly. You felt terrible that he felt he was doing something wrong when in reality this was a problem that had been planted long before you even met him. It was complicated. “The way I feel about myself is a culmination of a lot of time feeling really scant. Social pressures from everyone around me, the people that were supposed to love me, didn’t. I promise you, T, you have healed and helped me in so many different ways. This just isn’t something I can just turn off all of a sudden.” You leaned further into him feeling saddened by your own reality.

“I won’t ever understand but I can try. Just let me in at least. I’ll be here with you. It’s my job to take care of you. Would you want to spend some time in the gym with me? Gainz season, innit?” He squeezed your wimpy bicep teasingly.

“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll go as long as you’re there.” you couldn't help but crack a smile at his persistence as well as some memories you’d had made a few cheeky times down in the gym of your house.

“I’m gonna be there.” he replied, running his hand up your thigh. You knew he was asking you from a perspective of wanting you to feel confident and strong not in an effort to change anything.

“Shirt off, please.” you requested with a giggle, grazing your hand underneath his t-shirt. You dragged your nails over his abs.

“Oh yeah? It's like that now?” You nodded cheekily. He scooped you up as if you weighed nothing. Carrying you into the house.

“Where are we going? It’s nice out.” You complained but not minding being in his hold. It would've been nice to enjoy the weather though but maybe inside wouldn't be so bad.

“You think you can put your hands on me like that and I’m just gonna move on. We’re going inside. You’re going to lay down on the couch f’me” he whispered to you as his lips ghosted over your ear and he began nibbling on your earlobe.

“Really? What am I doing on the couch?” you giggled excited now, definitely not upset you were not staying outside.

“Shirt off, please” he teased, mocking what you said to him before he kissed you. The feeling of his lips on yours sending shockwaves through your whole body.

“Mmmm more.” you pursed your lips for another kiss craving more of him as he walked you inside.

“You wanna know how much I love you?” He cooed, laying you down on the cream colored couch in the big living room. You leaned back into the cushion before you moved forward eagerly towards him.

“I can feel how much you love me…” you practically moaned, grazing your hand over the bulge in his shorts now. He began to peel your clothing off piece by piece. There wasn't much on you to begin with so it didn’t take long. He pushed your legs upwards, bending you in half bringing your knees all the way up to your tits. His mouth watered looking down at your glistening pussy begging for him. Trent dragged his tongue through your drenched folds. He dipped in and out of you. His cock twitched at the way your jaw slacked in pleasure. He began to circle your clit before he pulled away with a cheeky grin. He looked so unfairly gorgeous beneath you. You felt dizzy watching him. Your slick glossing all over his perfect pink pretty pout.

“Tell me what letters you feel, baby.” he commanded you before he dove back into your pussy. A dangerous smile curling on his lips. He dragged his tongue in the form of the letters of his initials on his fiance’s pussy. You moaned out the letters he drew and well, hearing you moan out the initials of what was going to be your own last name soon was simply a bonus.

“T… ah fuck. A… A” you cried out. You weren't exactly as innocent as you presented but you liked when he treated you like you were. You knew exactly what you did to Trent as you pulled on his hair now or when you dragged your nails up his abs moments ago outside.

“Say my name baby.” he cooed and you practically melted. You fell apart. Trent loved you. He loved you so much it almost hurt. Everything about you just shattered him into a million pieces. Watching you cum right now only amplifying that feeling. The way your lips curled into the perfect little smile. He loved the way you whined when he touched your body, the way you reacted to him.

In swift movements, he was aligning his cock with your sopping entrance. His abs rubbed against you, he crushed you blissfully with his weight. He looked down at you fucked out of his mind madly in love with you. He collected enough spit in his mouth before he made you open yours. He spit his saliva into your mouth. You swallowed diligently with a moan.

“Such a good girl f’me.” he gripped your chin looking longingly into your eyes. He loved everything about this. Being in control of you. You letting him control you. You wanting him to control you. He tucked his face in the nape of your neck. He nibbled on your sensitive skin. His hair tickling you. Hoarse grunts escaping him as you soaked him. He hit that spot deep inside you, only he knew. All you could think about was the way he hit that spot again and again, continuously. He felt so good when he dropped his hand between you to rubbing your throbbing clit. He knew how to make you cum and he was going to do it well. “Tell me what I want to hear, baby” he whispered in your ear. Tears ran down your cheeks from pleasure and emotion.

“I know you love me. I know you love me. Fuck! T, you’re gonna make me cum.” you were a total mess beneath him looking gorgeous to him cumming all over his cock. Trent couldn't help himself from stuttering. The sex became sloppy and lovesick. He thrusted into you sporadically. You felt him begin to twitch inside you. “Cum inside me, baby. I want you to fill me up, please. T, Tell me you think I’m sexy.” you begged as you listened to Trent’s breathing became more labored. The knot in your stomach tightened when he spoke again.

“Fucking hell, you’re so sexy. You’re the sexiest woman in the world. Perfect for me. This pussy’s perfect for me. It’s all mine.” You couldn't keep it together any longer when he kissed you passionately. He groaned before he pumped his cum inside of you. “Jesus christ, baby. So good.” he breathed out as his pelvis grinded against your throbbing clit.

“I think I believe you now.” You began to giggle as he buried his face in your tits.

“Yeah, that’s all it took? Which orgasm was it? I particularly enjoyed hearing you as I spelled my initials on your clit.” He breathed heavily on top of you with a cheeky grin.

“T! You laughed embarrassed by his crass bluntness.

“Don’t get all shy on me now.” he cooed, peeling his slightly sticky body off yours. He pressed his lips sweetly to yours. You hummed at the sensation. He ran to the kitchen to get a cloth to clean you up. After he did, you went upstairs and woke Teddy up from her nap. You came downstairs holding her as he sat on the couch since turning the telly on while watching something. You talked to Teddy like you would a girl friend your age.

“I know, and then daddy told me I was beautiful so I kissed him.” You spoke loud enough to her for him to hear you babble on.

“Are you talking about me behind me back?” he sat up on the couch looking at you two lovingly.

“Just telling her how much daddy loves mummy.” you giggled squishing Teddy to you and kissing her cheek. You walked towards him carrying your little girl.

“Glad we’re on the same page then now.” he pulled at your arm dragging you down clumsily falling into him. You laughed carefully checking that Teddy was okay. “I love you.” He kissed your forehead. “I love you.” He kissed Teddy’s forehead. And you knew he did. He meant it.

You fell into the ease of the summer. Things were calm between Trent’s workouts preparing for the upcoming season and Teddy growing up painfully quick. She was almost 9 months old which was insane. Where did all the time go? She could understand instructions and was beginning to imitate your words using gestures. You spent the summer months lazing around trying to get comfortable with your body and motherhood.

Trent had an upcoming England international match. It was an odd one away in Moldova and you mutually agreed it wasn't worth you and Teddy traveling for. It was too much of a fuss. You sat with her before bedtime the day he traveled. When Trent was away the favorite part of his days were when you called with Teddy. A Facetime he just starred into missing you both, screenshotting everytime Teddy did something cute. Which felt like every minute. He had a folder in his camera roll dedicated to just Teddy’s cute little face. Teddy sat on your hip leaving toothless bites on your bare shoulder.

“Can you say night night to dada.” you muttered quietly as she sleepily let out a yawn.

“Miss my girls so much. Gonna watch tomorrow f’me Ted?” You confirmed she would and reminded him of your plans for the next day. You were headed down to London tomorrow to watch the match because Lauren was visiting the city for a brief moment and you wanted to catch her. You had planned to go to a viewing of the game at a pub you agreed upon prior. You were running late as you hurried through the tube station with Teddy getting off near Covent Garden. Lauren arrived before you and was sat at the bar saving a stool for you. You opted to bring Teddy in a baby carrier because it was easier for you to navigate instead of pushing your pram by yourself. You maneuvered your way through the crowded pub. You squeezed Lauren from behind, greeting her.

“Helloooooo my Laur” you cooed taking a seat next to her, a couple on the other side of you sat with matching England kits on.

“Oh my goodness! Hiii!!! Look at this big beautiful girl.” Lauren said, pinching Teddy’s cheek before helping you get her out of the carrier. England’s pre game warm ups flashed across the screen. “Is that daddy?” Lauren asked Teddy as she got settled on your lap.

“Oh isn’t daddy so handsome “ you giggled gawking a little bit at Trent’s physic as he wiped some sweat off his face pulling his jersey up towards his brow revealing his toned abs.

“God, he’s so hot…” Lauren sighed when the camera panned to Jude after Trent passed him the ball. You laughed at her. She leaned her head onto your shoulder. The women sitting next to you laughed as well hearing Lauren’s comment.

“Mood.” she concurred. You all had a little laugh but the mans she was with was a little less than impressed. Trent and Jude seemed to have a polarizing effect on other men. They wanted them on their footie teams, loved them for winning matches but almost loathed them for the way girls flocked and talked about them so blatantly.

“So I’m assuming you’re going to see him after this?” you cooed quieter to just Lauren looking at her. Interested in her plans.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to overstep but are you Y/N?” the girl next to you asked butting in before Lauren got a chance to answer your question.

“Oh, gosh yeah, I am. That’s me.” you were taken aback anytime anyone recognized you. It was still so foreign. You didn’t really merit any recognition of fame but you understood the intrigue people had wanting to know more about Trent’s life.

“I follow you on Instagram! I love you and Trent. You’re the perfect couple.” she cooed. The man with her leaned forward now interested hearing you were in a relationship with Trent. “Is this your daughter?” She asked. You got a little nervous. You had kept Teddy fairly out of the public eye to date.

“Mmmmhmm. This is my Teddy girl.” You cooed, holding her on your lap with one arm smushing a kiss to her cheek. You subtly spun the ring on your finger to turn the diamonds underneath to hide it out of the strangers next to you’s view. You felt really exposed all of a sudden. You wanted to keep the engagement private for the time being. Trent told you weren’t hiding it but you felt scared. You barely even got to celebrate it yet. Things had been so hectic and tense lately. Now didn’t really feel like the best time to put your personal life out there one random day sitting in a pub.

“Is that daddy, baby?” you cooed filming yourself and her on your front camera as the second half began. You panned the camera to show Trent on the screen. She squealed and giggled excited to see his familiar face. You sent the video to him. He responded an hour later once the match had finished. As much fun you had catching up with Lauren, you couldn't wait to get back home just for Trent to walk through the door again. You waited impatiently the next day for him with Teddy in your arms.

“Oh my goodness! Look who’s home! Is it dada?!?!” you cooed softly rocking her back and forth walking towards the font entrance when you heard him. Trent dropped his bag at the door, the way that drove you mad but you couldn't care less at this very moment. You were so happy he was home. Teddy excitedly gasped and kicked in your arms eager to get to Trent but unable to do so on her own. Trent pressed his lips to yours and you felt your heart falter a little. It was the kiss from someone who really, truly loved you. Loved every bit of you and every bit of the little girl he scooped up out of your arms. He kissed her chubby cheeks and pouty lips and she squealed.

“Missed you so much, my beautiful girls.” he cooed, pulling you into him, wrapping you and your daughter in his secure, warm embrace. He held Teddy in between you both as her giggles filled the room as you simultaneously kissed each of her cheeks.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 12 xx

[kinfanfiction]

Bernard x Human!Reader - Chapter 1 - The Strangest Dream

A/N: Alrighttt I crawled out of my hiatus to write this because I’ve been thinking about this for a year!!! So, this fic was heavily inspired by another Bernard fic writer on Tumblr who wrote reader as Scott’s daughter and wrote it SO WELL might I add!! I can’t find their account now which makes me so so sad but if I do I will edit this to give credit. 🙏 Anyways, I won’t write it exactly like how they wrote it, of course, as I want to give my own spin on the idea.

Christmas Eve was not going as planned. You had come down from your dorm at the nearby community college to visit your dad and younger brother Charlie. You had offered to help prepare Christmas dinner, but your dad insisted that he had everything under control. You loved your dad, but you also know when to ignore his word, so you brought some mashed potatoes and gravy along with some cheesy Pillsbury crescent rolls and mac n cheese that you had made in your dorm kitchens. You entrusted the turkey to your dad... but also secretly brought some chicken tenders and a bottle of Martinelli's apple cider in case plans went south. You would've made your own turkey for Christmas if you could, but you had roommates who also needed the kitchen.

Sure enough, when you arrived, the house was filled with smoke, and your dad was using a fire extinguisher on the very burnt turkey when you walked into the kitchen. You held as much food as you could carry in one trip in your arms. Your eyes traveled around the house, and landed on Charlie's disappointed face as he watched your dad put out the rising flames in the oven. You then looked at all of the burnt food on the table and sighed. Charlie saw you, and all the food in your arms, and his face instantly lit up. Your dad spotted you next, and a look of both guilt and relief washed over him simultaneously. "Look at you, always prepared." He spoke with a smile. "I'm sorry, I really though I had dinner covered. Must be something wrong with the oven.." He said, giving the oven an accusatory glance before walking over to help you set all the food down. You helped clear the table of all the badly burnt food, and then Charlie eagerly ran out to your car to help carry the rest of the food in.

Once all the food you brought was set out on the table, you dished Charlie up first, then your dad, and finally you sat down with your own plate. Charlie was looking much more chipper now, and you knew this was going to be a jolly Christmas. Everyone had enjoyed their food and apple cider, and now you could all get ready for bed with full stomachs.

You watched as your father read Charlie a Christmas bedtime story, and when it looked like he had fallen asleep, you began to sneak out the room. Just as your father was about to leave the room behind you, Charlie's soft voice broke the silence.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Your dad questioned in return.

"A Rose Suchak ladder?"

You chuckled at this question, and watched as your father tried to explain what 'Arose such a clatter' meant.

Then, Charlie began to ask critical questions about the logistics of Santa Clause and how he gets around. Your dad struggled to come up with answers on the spot, and you found all of Charlie's questions to be adorable, and all of your dad's answers amusing.

Charlie eventually stopped asking his brilliant questions, and decided you and your dad should leave cookies and milk out just in case. You opted to make the cookies to save your dad the trouble of nearly burning down the kitchen a second time in one night.

Before you could even begin making the cookie dough, you heard loud thumping on the roof. You were just as alert as the rest of your family, and soon you all poured out of the house in a panic, one after the other, checking to see what the commotion was. You stared in shock at a man who appeared to be dressed up as Santa Claus on the roof, and then thought for a moment that maybe he was Santa after all, considering the sleigh and reindeer behind him. Charlie ran out last, just in time to see Santa take a tumble into the fluffy pad of snow below. Your dad and Charlie ran up to the man as you stood back in shock. Your dad checked the man for Identification, and all he found was a card that told him to put on the suit. Then the strangest night of your lives ensued.

You weren’t sure how this was physically possible, but you watched as your dad fit down chimney after chimney, lowered down by a floating bag of gifts into each house. Charlie was fascinated, but you were having trouble believing what you were seeing. You watched as your dad magically fit down every chimney and pipe until he had absolutely no gifts left. The next thing you knew, the reindeer were soaring thousands of miles in the air and traveling what seemed to be at the speed of light, and yet the ride was as comfortable as being on an airplane.

The reindeer began lowering the sleigh down onto soft white snow, and you realized suddenly that snow was all you could see for miles. Your dad’s irritation was increasing at the sight of this location, and your face felt like it was going to freeze off. A small child, who seemed to be around Charlie’s age, appeared out of nowhere, and with him, a tall red and white pole. “Look, dad, It’s the North Pole!” Your little brother exclaimed, as excited as ever.

“That’s the North Pole?” Your dad questioned, displeased. You just quietly waited to see what the child was going to do next. He walked to a keypad in the pole, typed out a code, and the sleigh began to lower into the ground. Surrounding you now was a sight you couldn’t believe. You knew right away that this was the North Pole. You stared in awe as your inner child squealed with delight. You and Charlie were swept up in the beauty of the workshop, and you found all the elves to be absolutely adorable.

The second the sleigh landed, your dad was off to find “who’s in charge,” and you and Charlie just walked around in awe. “Charlie, I think you might have to pinch me now, I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.” You whisper to your younger brother, and without a second thought, he pinches your arm as hard as he can. “Ow!” You exclaim, not expecting the pinch to be so painful, “...thanks.” You mutter as Charlie walks towards your dad, who seems to be talking to an elf, who is possibly the only one in the workshop who appears to be around your age. At the moment, he was very annoyed with your father being in severe denial of the situation. You were only having slight trouble believing what you were seeing, but Charlie’s sharp pinch helped with that.

You didn’t catch up until after the elf had introduced him, so when your dad forgot his name and he had to repeat it, you were a bit relieved. He introduced himself as Bernard, you couldn’t help but chuckle. It was childish to laugh at, but you couldn’t help it. “That’s the most elvish name I’ve ever heard,” You remarked. Bernard gave you an irritated blank stare, before turning his attention to your brother. You introduced Bernard to Charlie, and he gave him a beautiful snow globe, and when he shook it, you both could see a sleigh fly above the houses inside. It was fascinating, and Charlie made sure to thank him for the gift. After that, Bernard sent him with an elf named Larry to get something to drink, and you followed, wanting to keep track of your brother, and figuring your father could handle himself.

The tour of the workshop was everything you’d dreamed of as a kid, and the experience was something you never thought you’d get to check off your bucket list, yet here you were, struggling to catch up to Charlie as he quickly darted from place to place. You checked out the toys, then the candy room, and finally Larry grabbed Charlie a glass of hot cocoa, and you a nice mug of spiced apple cider. After you finished your drinks, Charlie quickly made his way back to your dad, with you trailing behind him.

It didn’t take long to catch on to the verdict being that your dad was now Santa Claus. It was a strange thing to try and grasp, but Charlie had no questions, only excitement at the idea.

Bernard had finally gotten Charlie and your dad to go to sleep in the room set up for them, and you had your own room as well, but you couldn't sleep. You had been longing for this kind of comfort for a long time. Ever since you moved out, Christmas hadn't felt the same. It was still wonderful, and merry indeed, but it no longer invoked the excitement it used to, the kind you saw in Charlie's eyes. But this... something that had only been cast off as a childhood fantasy in your mind, the fact that it was real, you could feel that child-like wonder bubbling inside you. You had to explore further.

You quietly snuck out of your room, and were relieved to see that no one was awake. You treaded carefully through the halls, your fingertips gently gracing the railing beside you as you gazed around at the dulled impressions of vibrant colors you saw earlier that day. You stared out the front windows of the workshop and considered going out into the snow, but figured you'd likely freeze to death in your flimsy winter attire that may be fine for where you live, but not here.

A few minutes into wandering through the empty shop, you heard quick and purposeful footsteps storming through the halls, shuffling through all of the items in the shop, section by section. Your eyes tracked the source of these sounds back to a shrouded figure in the dark as they began to descend the stairs, near where you stood. As they got closer, you could hear them muttering angrily to themselves as they continued to sort through the Christmas toys. Soon enough, they noticed you.

"What are you doing awake?" The familiar voice hissed. You took a moment to respond, trying to figure out why the voice sounded familiar, and who it belonged to.

"Bernard?" You whispered back finally, once your night vision adjusted to barely make out his features. "What are you doing?"

"I should be asking you that question, you should be asleep." The elf retorted disdainfully.

"I tried to, but I couldn't." You admitted as you silently wondered why it was so bad that you were awake.

"Why's that?" He questioned with growing impatience. Clearly, Bernard preferred everything to be in order, and you being awake messed with that order.

"I guess I just... I wanted to see this place as it slept. It was so magical earlier today, but I really enjoy the peace and quiet as my inner child settles with the idea that a concept I deemed mythical for so long is actually.. real.. I mean, my dad is Santa, and the workshop is real, you, and the other elves, you're all very real. It's something I dreamt about happening as a kid, but I eventually gave up thinking would ever come true." You explain, and as you do, you watch the majority of frustration dissipate from Bernard's expression. He hadn't expected such a thorough response.

"That... makes sense." He responded, his tone softening. "Sorry for being short tempered with you, it's not even you I'm actually upset with, I just- Your father- Santa's denial of the fact that he is Santa, it worries me. The entire North Pole is at stake if he decides not to take the job-"

"He'll take the job, don't worry. My dad's always been like this, with everything. He takes longer than most to accept changes in his reality. He'll eventually get it, and then face it. You'll have your Santa, so let that be one less thing to worry about." You assure the anxious elf, and he calms even more after that.

He takes a deep breath, "Thank you for that." He whispers appreciatively. Then there's a moment where silence settles comfortably in the air, the moment of tension has passed. The cold wind from outside is beating gently against the windows, and then he speaks up again. "You said you wanted to explore while it was quiet... well what if I give you a tour of the North Pole tonight? I can give you winter gear that's guaranteed to keep you warm outside." He offers kindly, and you smile.

"I would love that." You agree, and soon he brings you a warm jacket, scarf, gloves, snow pants, and snow boots. You're fully equipped and ready to go, and he just remains in his regular wear. The blistering cold doesn't seem to affect him as much, which you suppose makes sense, because he is an elf from the North Pole after all.

He shows you all the back ways to the shop, all the areas you hadn't seen yet. Then, you got to see the town where all the elves live, and all of them lived in small quarters, amongst the snowy hills of the North Pole. It was the best town you'd ever visited, even if it was late at night and no lights were on. Bernard invited you to see his own cottage, and while it was slightly bigger than the others, it was still small. It was a cozy festive cottage. He had a fire going, and it smelled like cookies and peppermint inside. He made you both some hot cocoa, his own impression of Judy's recipe.

As the fire crackled, the snow flakes melted against the window, and the cocoa warmed your belly, you began to finally feel tired, and Bernard very thoughtfully wrapped a blanket around you.

The next thing you knew, you woke up in your own bed, dazed and confused. You very slowly rose in your bed, rubbing your eyes and trying to get a grip, and soon Charlie came rushing into your rooming yelling, "Merry Christmas Y/n!"

You looked at him, half asleep, and quietly muttered, "I just had the strangest dream."

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: Nudity

Chapter Word Count: 2552

—-MDNI—-

A/N: sorry this one took a while! I’ve had so much going on, I’ve struggled to get time to myself. I wrote this over the course of several nights so pls let me know of any errors as it’s only proof read by me

——————————————————————

Please read the below first:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 7

Dean and I stood side by side in the dimly lit parking lot, trying not to make eye contact with each other as Sam stood in front of us; arms folded across his chest with his foot tapping impatiently. He gnawed on his bottom lip, frowning and shaking his head. He was the spitting image of an angry mother.

“You did what?” He asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Look, Sammy,” Dean started and I was unable to tell if he was about to be boastful or apologetic.

“Don’t you ‘look Sammy’ me. We’re on a job Dean, couldn’t you have kept it in your pants a bit longer?”

“Sam I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean for it to happen, it just sort of…did,” I stepped in, embarrassment taking over as I caught sight of my reflection in the Impalas drivers side window. My hair was tousled and my lipstick was almost completely worn off save for a few streaks under my bottom lip. That, and also the fact that my shredded underwear was currently scrunched up in Deans pocket. I couldn’t tell if I was more horrified when I saw him pick them up off the study floor and ‘save them for later’, or the fact that I may have developed a new kink for having my panties sliced off my body with a hunting knife.

“(Y/n),” Sam’s eyes softened, “you have nothing to apologise for; Dean should know better.” His words made Dean scoff.

“She’s not all sunshine and rainbows Sam, she’s the one who started it.”

“I did not! I only told you to kiss me, not fuck me into that desk!”

Sam’s eyes widened and his ears went pink, Dean snapping back at me before the younger brother had a chance to think.

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Yes, you definitely did. Don’t lie,” he paused, his tone changing, “you can’t deny it sweetheart - you wanted me,” Dean smirked, gesturing to himself.

“Ok, prove it - what did I say?” I crossed my arms across my chest, remembering I wasn’t wearing a bra. His smirk grew, suddenly making me very aware that I was most likely wrong about this and he was going to be obnoxious about the fact that he was right.

“You said - and I quote - ‘are you gonna fuck me or what, Winchester?’ Now to me, that sounds like you instigating this.”

I scowled at him, wanting to slap that lipstick-smeared smirk right off his face.

“Fuck you,” I spat, rapidly having to cross my legs where I stood as I started to feel more ‘essence of Dean’ trickle down my thigh.

“You already did darlin’.”

“Ok ENOUGH!” Sam got between us, putting up his hands, “let’s just finish the job and go home. But just so you know,” he pointed at us, “you are BOTH in VERY big trouble.”

*

The ride back to the bunker was a little awkward. I sat in the back, not wanting to move too much for fear of making a mess on the impeccable upholstery and Sam sat in total silence, giving us both the cold shoulder. Dean however drove the whole way home with the biggest grin on his face, occasionally glancing at me in the rear view mirror. Sam had taken the liberty of packing everyone’s luggage into the Impala before we had even left the auction house, so I wasn’t even granted the simple pleasure of washing Deans intoxicating scent from my hair in the motel shower. I just had to sit there for the next three hours breathing him in and replaying every red hot second of our time together in that study.

*

Dean pulled into the underground garage to the bunker and before he’d even put it in park I’d thrown the door open and jumped out, racing back to my room. I heard Dean shout after me but I had sprinted too far to know what he’d said. I ran through the corridors like a princess in a castle; long dress bunched up in my fists so I didn’t trip, with the rest billowing behind me as I frantically searched for my destination in this labyrinth. Upon reaching my door I flung it open and raced inside, slamming it behind me. I paced into the bathroom, heels clicking on the tiles and flicked on the light before turning the shower on and wincing at the loud clanking still coming from the plumbing in here. As the water began to patter into the shower basin I hurriedly peeled off my shoes and my dress before sticking my toe into the water now pooling in the bottom. The moment it was the perfect temperature I stepped in, sighing as the liquid poured over me and washed away the electric tingle on my skin left behind by the older Winchesters hands. I felt normal again, and much less sticky too as I lathered soap over myself. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as I slid down the tiles and sat down, letting the shower soak my hair. I tried my best to steady my mind and be calm, but all that I could think about was Dean. The way he touched me, running his rough hands over my soft skin. The way said my name; moaning it in a deep breathless voice. And oh boy… the way his mouth felt on mine was like something out of this world, the taste of him alone made me dizzy. I wanted to run to wherever he was right now and press my lips to his - to get high off of him again. It’s a crying shame that he’s such a jackass, so naturally I’m reluctant to give him the satisfaction. He’d be smug for days - or weeks - if I even mentioned that this was how I was feeling, let alone if I was actually acting on the impulses.

I must’ve sat in the bottom of the shower for at least twenty minutes, my brain going over the events on a loop, replaying again and again. In the end I gave up trying to silence my thoughts and turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fuzzy white towel around myself. I grabbed a smaller second towel and dried my hair, leaving it damp but not dripping as I walked into the bedroom. I searched for my duffle for a few minutes before it dawned on me: it was still in the car. ALL of my clothes were in there.

“Shit shit shit shit,” I searched through the wardrobe and dresser in the room, hoping to find something, ANYTHING, that I could wear to go and retrieve my bag but there was nothing to be found. I sat on the edge of the bed contemplating my options as I started to shiver, my damp hair making me cold. I considered wearing the dress again, but the stains on it made me think otherwise as I was now clean and fresh from the shower. My eyes darted to the door. There’s only one option: theft. Deans room was right opposite mine and he didn’t spend much time in there so the chances of me running into him were slim. I stood up, determination coursing through me as I marched to my bedroom door, opened it and quietly stepped into the hallway. I looked left and right, sighing in relief at the emptiness. I quietly padded across to Deans door, incredibly aware of how cold the air was out here. I grasped the handle and twisted, the door opening with a small click.

“Yes!” I whispered to myself, grateful it was already unlocked. Ducking in I closed the door behind me and spun around, pressing my back to the cool wood to observe the room. Eyes widening, my blood ran cold and I dropped to the floor. Dean was asleep - or so he seemed to be - above the covers and still fully dressed in his suit, a nudie mag open and covering his face. He had one hand behind his head and the other rested on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath. FUCK. I looked around whilst on all fours, feeling the dust from the floor sticking to my damp skin. So much for the shower. I spotted Deans dresser off to the side of the room; if he was asleep, I should be able to sneak in, grab a T-shirt and sneak out again with no problem. I crawled over to the drawers and started sliding them open painfully slowly to inspect the contents. It wasn’t until I opened the fourth drawer that I struck gold. Silently cheering to myself I snatched the first T-shirt I saw and pushed the draw closed. As I turned around to leave I near enough jumped out of my skin, shrieking a little. Dean was now laying on his side, head propped up with one hand and he watched me in total silence, the corner of his lips turned up.

“You need any help down there?” His voice was low and gravelly.

“No thank you,” I stood up, clutching his T-shirt in one hand and trying not to let my towel fall with the other, the corner now refusing to tuck in. “I got what I came for.”

“And you need one of my T-shirts because…?”

“None of your business,” I taunted, inching my way towards the door. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It is if you’re being a little thief.”

“I’m only borrowing it.”

“Sure you are sweetheart,” he grinned, turning to lay on his back again, this time propped up on his pillows against the headboard with his hands behind his head. There was silence for a few moments as he chewed on his bottom lip, eyeing me up and down. He made me feel totally exposed. Out of nowhere he jumped up, reaching me where I stood by the door in one swift movement.

“I tell you what - you can keep the T-shirt for life on one condition,” he stepped closer, those piercing green eyes keeping mine entranced. I swallowed.

“What condition…?” My voice suddenly felt very small and quiet as a result of his close proximity.

“Drop the towel and put it on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I wasn’t able to stop the heat rising to my cheeks and I couldn’t tell if it was from frustration at his arrogance or the fact that the low rumble of his voice was making my knees weak. The words bouncing off the walls in my mind failed to leave my lips, and in my silence he spoke up again.

“Or unless you’re happy walking all the way to the garage in nothing but a towel, you still have the option to refuse.” I scowled and smacked his chest.

“You knew?! If you knew I’d left my bag behind, why didn’t you bring it?”

“Because,” he put his hand on the wall beside my head and leaned in a little, “where’s the fun in that?” I tried my best to hold his gaze, fighting every urge to look away as my heart started to beat faster and faster. I’ve already fucked the man so what have I got to lose? I placed my hands firmly on Deans chest and pushed with enough force to knock him back, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of the bed, making him collapse onto it. Leaning back on his hands he looked at me expectantly as I took a step towards him and away from the door. I tried my best to keep a stern expression, refusing to let him know that any of this was affecting me - the last thing I wanted was for smug old Dean Winchester to know that everything he does makes my heart hammer in my chest. I threw the T-shirt at him, hard enough that he was taken aback as he clutched the dark fabric in his large hands. A look of disappointment started to cross his face before I reached up and untucked my towel letting it fall to the floor as I stood in front of him, fighting every urge not to cover myself up. At first I was unable to look him in the eye, scared of what that alluring evergreen stare would do to me if I did. Eventually I caved in, biting my lip as I saw how entranced he was; eyes flitting over every curve on my body, studying me like a work of art. I watched him swallow, throat bobbing as he licked his lips, jaw going slack and his pupils dilating. He was silent. I took another step forward so I was in reach of him and his hand immediately shot out to touch my thigh. Right as his fingers grazed my skin I smacked his hand away, pulling him from his trance.

“Please…” was all he managed to say, all cockiness gone from his attitude. I snatched the T-shirt from his loose grip, pulling it on over my head and down over my body, finally covering myself from his burning hot gaze. Dean was finally pulled from his trance when he could no longer see the curves of my figure, his eyes eventually meeting mine again. He looked a little flustered, his hands now crossed in his lap.

“My clothes look good on you,” he said, an unusual tone to his voice - something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He eyed my chest, observing the way the loose black fabric fell over the soft curves of my breasts and did little to hide my perky nipples. His eyes travelled south, surveying the rest of me before stopping and lingering at my thighs right where his top ends, hinting at the shape of my ass cheeks hiding underneath. He probably would have sat there all evening and ogled at me, however I could feel the tiredness start to hang heavy in my body and weigh on my eyelids, getting worse as the minutes passed. I groaned internally, remembering I still needed to go and get my duffle. But there was something about the way that Dean was looking at me that was making it hard to leave. I took a few more steps towards him until I was standing between his knees, swatting his hands away as they skimmed the backs of my thighs, sending goosebumps over my skin. I grabbed his chin unexpectedly, making him flinch. However it was only a matter of seconds until he was like putty in my hands. His muscles relaxed and he looked up at me with hooded eyes, mouth agape as I tilted his chin up to face me. I leaned down, our lips millimetres apart as I felt his hot rapid breath fan over my cheeks. I watched his pupils blow wide at the close proximity, a shiver ghosting over his skin as he stared up at me.

“Goodnight Dean,” I hummed, before letting go and standing up straight, turning to leave the room. I picked up my towel and opened the door, looking over my shoulder one last time to witness the starstruck Winchester sitting in a daze right where I left him.

“Thanks for the T-shirt.”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 1

[lovebotmo]

like the movies

chapter one - falling behind

series masterlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader

wc: 1199

author’s note: i am so excited for this first chapter. im forcing myself to pace these so i don't get burned out LMAO. i hope you enjoy this first installment!!! also not beta read so fight me.

song inspiration: "like the movies" by laufey

“Why haven’t you ever dated, Y/n?”

While the question had been relatively simple, its forwardness sent you into a coughing fit while sipping your coffee at breakfast. Sitting across from the inquirer, Luna Lovegood, you quickly mopped up your spill while throwing her a dirty look. The conversation at your table that morning in the Great Hall had consisted of relationships, past, present, and mind-numbing, wobbly-kneed crushes, but you hadn’t expected the focus of the chat to turn towards you.

To your right, your dearest friend, Hermione Granger, quickly jumped to your defense. “It’s not that simple, Luna. There are a number of perfectly good reasons why someone does or does not, in Y/n’s case, date!”

Hermione seemed absolutely content with her answer, patting you gently on the back with a kind smile. Her sympathy made you groan before you dropped your head into your hands. “For the love of Merlin, can we please discuss something—”

Ginny Weasley plopped down on your right, eager to give her two cents on the matter of your abysmal dating record. “I mean, you’ve had people interested in you, right? None of them have piqued your fancy? What’s his face—um…Lee Jordan! He asked you out a few months ago, right? What about him?”

“What about Cormac?” asked Hannah Bones. “I know he’s a bit of a tosser, but he’s not bad to look at. I sit next to him in Transfiguration, I could introduce you!”

Increasingly irritated with the course of the conversation, you piped up. “Thank you, Hannah, but I’ve got no interest in—”

Ginny interrupted, “What about one of my brothers? They’re bloody idiots, no doubt, but I’m sure I could put in a good word. What’s your type? Hmm—you into the whole cheeky thing Fred and George have going on—”

“Enough!” The four girls stared at you and your face that could easily rival a tomato with its present scarlet hue. A silence washed over the nearby tables in the Great Hall. A few odd looks were thrown at you from the surrounding students before their conversations recommenced. “As much as I appreciate your intense interest in my lack of relationships, I don’t feel like fleshing it out over cinnamon rolls and sausage links at 8:00 a.m. in the morning, if you lot don’t mind.”

The girls quickly began to apologize before you hushed them. “It’s totally fine, seriously, I just don’t want to get into it. We’re all good. Promise.”

As if sensing that you weren’t entirely ‘good,’ Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but Hermione beat her to it. “Y/n and I have got to get going if we’re going to make it to Potions. We’ll see you guys later, alright?” You could have snogged the life out of Hermione for the offered escape route. You and Hermione both knew you had another thirty minutes before your first class, but what the three girls didn’t know wouldn’t kill them. After swiftly packing up her things, Hermione linked her arm with yours, whisking you away from the other three.

Even though your next class was in the dungeons, Hermione steered you towards an unfamiliar corridor, one she had likely found on the vast number of adventures she, Harry, and Ron had found themselves in over the years. Arms still intertwined; she sat you both on a bench. After sitting in a few moments of silence, you squeezed her arm and spoke, “Thanks, ‘Mione.”

Returning your squeeze, she smiled. “I figured you could use a break from that inquisitive lot. They can be a bit much, altogether at once. Merlin knows how they’ll react when I tell them about Ron and me.” The two of you looked at each other in stunned silence before bursting into laughter. Hermione laughed at the imaginary image of shock and disbelief she imagined would appear on Ginny’s face. You laughed, however, at the thought that anyone could be unaware to the obvious affection shared between the couple. You doubted that Filch, perhaps the most oblivious man to ever inhabit Hogwarts, couldn’t see the feelings that had steadily been growing between Hermione and Ron since their first year. Feelings you had yet to experience at Hogwarts, despite your desperate desire to.

As if sensing your thoughts, Hermione peered into your face before softly speaking, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won’t push you or anything, but I just want you to know you have an ear if you want one.”

Considering her words, you peered at the ceiling that seemed miles away. Of all the people you knew at Hogwarts, Hermione might have been the best to unburden yourself to.

You turned to look at her before speaking. “Well, it’s like this. Take Lee Jordan for example—when he asked me out, he found me after Defense Against the Dark Arts and just said, ‘Want to go out sometime, L/N?’ And that’s it! I mean, it took him all of four seconds to ask—and I don’t know…I asked him why he wanted to go out with me—which let me tell you he gave me quite a funny look because of my question—before he said, ‘Well, you’re fit and nice.’    

Hermione laughed at Lee’s simplistic answer before you continued. “Don’t get me wrong, it was a fine answer, and I appreciated the ‘fit’ part especially,” you said, winking at Hermione, “But that was the whole exchange. No real effort, no deep interest in me. It was simple.”

Hermione smiled at you, “But you don’t want simple, do you?”

You shrugged. “I guess not? Believe me, I don’t want a live performance where the man of my dreams serenades me with a homemade song listing my manifold of attractions.” This time you joined Hermione in her laughter. “I’d rather die on the spot, honestly, than endure that, but the point is I don’t want to be asked out just to be asked out. I want someone who’s thought about it, someone who’s noticed the little things about me, and lets me know that he has noticed them. I want to be wooed, goddammit!”

Hermione pealed in laughter for a solid minute before she managed to catch her breath. Smiling, she replied, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be ‘wooed’, Y/n. Godric knows Ron could stand to do a bit more ‘wooing’ when it comes to us.”

Turning your body fully to Hermione, you took her hands into yours, earnestly. “You don’t think I’m asking for too much? Being too high maintenance? I mean, I suppose we are young and still learning after all and—”

“Y/n, no. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if someone truly likes you and wanting them to show it.” She squeezed your hands in assurance.

“Are you positively sure, because honestly—”

“I am absolutely sure, Y/n.”

“One hundred percent sure?”

“What do you think absolute means, Y/n?”

“…Point taken, ‘Mione.”

“Now then,” she said, standing and dragging you along with her, “we really must head off to Potions if we don’t want to be late.”

Trotting behind her, you smiled at your ever-punctual friend, “Yes ma’am.”

[stardustserenadeechos]

A Tribute's Heart

As the 71st Hunger Games draw near, you and Minghao must navigate the complexities of your relationship. When you're reaped, will the arena transform you into someone unrecognizable? And when it’s all over, will Minghao still see you the same way? Will you even make it out alive?

Pairing: District12!Minghao x District12!Reader

Word count: (Teaser, 1,670)(Full story, tbd)(First Chapter, out now!)

Chapter 1

Note/Warning: I’m unsure how long it will take to fully finish this, but I will complete the story. Most of the content is already written; it just needs some revisions. The story will unfold over several chapters, following the format of the first three films. Also, this is my first fic! So thank you for reading!

..............................................................................................................................

Chapter 1: The Mourn-ing Call (Teaser)

The air had a crisp bite to it, hinting at the coming fall. The L/N house creaked in the quiet morning, its eerie sound drifting into the silence. The sun had not yet risen, but its early light was slowly creeping through the panes of Y/N’s room. She groaned as she shifted onto her side, the 18-year-old girl’s eyes slowly cracking open. Her throat was dry and sore—a sure sign that while the air had turned cooler, summer would hang on for a few more weeks.

Sighing deeply, Y/N turned back onto her back. Staring up at the cracked stained ceiling, a pit began to form in her stomach as the reality of the day settled in. Today was the 71st Hunger Games reaping, and at 18 this would be her last year of eligibility. However, that didn't make the day's anxiety anylighter. Her chances of being selected were greater now, Y/N put her name in extra times through the tessera so that her family could scrape by with barely enough food to survive the harsh winter. Her cousin of the same age, Mateo as well. 4 extra name slips for Mateo and 3 extra name slips for Y/N.

A soft cough broke her thoughts, and Y/N turned to look at her younger cousins—Alice, 9, and Olive, 15. A pang of sadness washed over Y/N as she realized Alice would not have to fear her name being pulled from the jar this year, or the next, or even the one after, but her future still holds this annual “tradition”. Olive, like Y/N, would face the same agonizing wait in the heat, hoping her name wouldn’t be the one called.

Y/N sighed again and swung her legs over the side of the bed, her feet meeting the worn, splintered wood. She sat there for a moment, hands by her thighs gripping the edge of the lumpy mattress, as her head hung down, eyes closed. Outside, the early stirrings of the town could be heard—others awake in the quiet morning, too anxious to sleep on reaping day. It was hard to imagine anyone resting while the shadow of death loomed over them all. 

A breeze rustled the air, quieting the sounds of the street. Maybe nature, in its own way, was offering comfort to those in the district on such a solemn day.

Shaking her head, Y/N reminded herself not to dwell on the inevitable. Standing up, she quietly made her way to the door, glancing back at Alice and Olive, who were still sound asleep safe in the world of their dreams. Stepping out of the room Y/N softly closed the door behind her and stepped towards the old uneven steep staircase. Each step down to the main area of the home seemed quieter than usual, perhaps a silent mourning from the home for what the day would bring.

At the bottom of the stairs, Y/N glanced back up at the dark hallway. All four doors were shut, it seemed she was the only one awake so far. Turning away, she made her way to the kitchen, as she crossed the connecting living room a loud snore interrupted the silence. It was amazing how others remained asleep like that of Mateo, who snores loud enough to disrupt the bordering Seam. His snoring was soon joined by another—her uncle, Ian. How she even managed to sleep through it all was beyond her.

The cupboards offered little: a bag of molding bread, some wrinkled blueberries, and half a dozen eggs. Even with the extra food provided by Y/N and Mateo through the tesserae barely scraped through the week. The eggs and blueberries were not even from that!  Y/N pulled out the bread and placed it onto the counter beside the stove before moving to grab a bowl and the eggs. Cracking the eggs into the bowl Y/N watched how their contents sloshed together. It was a meager breakfast that wouldn't fil any of their stomachs, but it would have to do. Maybe that was a good thing though, non of them are probably even feeling that low rumble of hunger, the anxiety taking up its place.

Turning on the stove, the fire sputtered before it crackled to life under the battered pan. By now, the sun had risen higher, but the house remained quiet except for the sounds of Y/N cooking. Her mom and two aunts would wake soon, followed by the rest of the family. By 10 a.m., they’d all be dressed in their best clothes and sat on the dilapidated worn couches, dreading the moments that ticked closer to noon, the time enhanced by the loud clicking of the clock hand second by second. Then as 12p.m. hit they would begin their journey to the town square before the reaping at 2 p.m.

Afterward, the day would unfold in its usual pattern. Mateo would disappear into town insearch of work for the day, Alice and Olive would play in the backyard pretending to escape to a far off magical land. Aunt Lynn and Aunt Sophia would go back to knitting goods to sell at the Hob, while her mother would head off to her job at the Coal Mill tallying the day’s casualties. And Y/N? She and Minghao would sneak away to the quiet lake on the outskirts of the Seam. They would sit together in silence until dinner, hand intertwined as the sounds of nature would calm the dread eating at them.

As Y/N scrambled the eggs, her mind wandered. Then a soft tapping at the back door brought her out of her thoughts. She turned to see Minghao standing outside, his expression solemn despite the faint smile on his lips. He was already dressed in his nicer clothes, ready for the day.

Y/N wipes her hands on her pants and walks over to unlock the door. Swinging it open, she looks up under her eyelashes at Minghao.

“Hey,” she says quietly.

“Hey,” Minghao whispered back.

Y/N steps aside, letting him enter the house. As Minghao shut the door behind him, Y/N turns back to the stove, making sure the eggs don’t burn.

“Dressed already?” she asked, breaking the silence as she looks to the side at him.

Minghao leaned against the counter, watching her cook, their eyes meeting.

“Couldn't sleep,” he answered.

“That makes two of us,” Y/N said, offering a half-hearted smile.

She took the eggs off the stove, turning to him. “I like the haircut.”

Minghao’s hair still brushed the tops of his shoulders, but today it looked neater, his bangs no longer brushing against the tips of his eyelashes. It was cleaned up, framing his features—his mother must’ve trimmed it the night before, an instance of putting your best image forward on the more dreadful days. 

“You look very nice this morning,” she added softly.

“Not as nice as you,” he replied with a cheeky grin.

Y/N laughed, tilting her head back. “Hardly, but thank you.”

Picking the mold off the bread slices and flicking them into the sink, Y/N grabs the butter and spreads it on the bread before putting it on the stoves open fire to toast. Minghao moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder.

“What’s for breakfast?” he asked.

“I’m starting to think you came for the food, and not to see me,” Y/N teased.

“I’d rather starve than never see you again,” Minghao said, just as dramatically.

“Well, if that’s the case, I guess you can partake in our eggs and slightly moldy bread,” she said with a smirk.

“They don’t even eat like that in the Capitol,” Minghao joked.

A beat passed. “But seriously,” he continued, “the bread should last longer, right? You’d think with all the names we have to put in just to get extra food, it would.”

“Mh,” Y/N hummed in agreement as she spreads the butter on the next slice to be toasted..

Minghao hesitated before asking, “How many times is your name in the bowl this year?”

“Ten,” Y/N answered, her voice barely above a whisper.

The kitchen fell silent again. Minghao tightened his grip on her waist. Y/N placed the new slice bread on the open flame, swapping it with the previous.  “You?” she asked.

“Eight,” he replied softly.

“May the odds be ever in our favor,” Y/N murmured, the words hollow.

Minghao pulls away and reaches into his pocket. His fingers trembled as he pulls out a small bundle of cloth and hands it to her. “I brought you this.”

Y/N blinked, heart fluttering. She takes the bundle from his hands and unwraps it carefully, peeling back the soft fabric to reveal, nestled in the fabric, a delicate blue flower.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She recognized the flower from Minghao’s fathers small garden. In her own words “the brightest spot in all of the dreariness of District 12”. The tears she’d been holding back began to well up in the waterlines of her eyes.

Minghao noticing, pulls her into his embrace, his hand resting on the back of her head. “Don’t cry,” he said softly.

“But what if they pull your name? What am I going to do without you?” Y/N’s voice cracked.

“Don’t spend our last few hours worrying,” Minghao replied gently. “There are people with more chances of being pulled than us. And, if anything happens, which it's not, I want my last moments with you to feel like none of this ever existed.”

“You’re always so positive,” Y/N sniffled, lifting her head to look at him.

“How could I not be, when I have you in my life?” he smiled.

Their lips met in a soft kiss before they embraced again.

“What if they pull my name?” Y/N continues. 

“That is a reality I hope I never have to face,” Minghao says seriously. 

“Best not the thick of it” Y/N compromises, listening to Minghao’s advice from mere second before. 

…to be continued

(1,670 words)

[bitethedevil]

Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 16

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Raphael and Tav have a long conversation and she finally makes her decision.

(AN: Here we are. We are finally reaching the conclusion. This chapter is technically the end, and the next one will be a sort of epilogue (and the very last chapter.))

Tav was pacing. She was thinking. There were too many thoughts going through her head at once. Too many of them were colored by feelings rather than rationality. Anger at what she had witnessed. Grief at what she might be losing no matter what she chooses. Stress at having to make a decision like this. Fear of the inevitability of it all.

Raphael finally came back up from Hope’s old cell. He was in his cambion form, suggesting that he might have taken out his frustrations from her comments on Cassius, though she could see no blood on him. He tried to silently sneak past her. She did ask for peace and quiet, after all. She found out that peace and quiet did nothing for her. She stopped her pacing to look at him.

“Come here, please,” she said.

Raphael stopped in his tracks and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. The look of defeat he had when she gave him a piece of her mind in the cell had been exchanged for his usual façade of calmness.

“You said that you wished for a moment of privacy.”

“I did. Now I don’t,” she said and waved a hand at a chair. “Please sit down.”

He narrowed his orange eyes at her.

“You seem confused, dear,” he said. “Your current predicament does not allow you to give me orders in my own home. You—”

“Would you please shut up for once,” she snapped in irritation. “And sit down. I’m not ordering you I’m asking you, and even if I was, stop acting like you are not interested in what I have to say.”

There was a look of faint surprise on his face at her bluntness. He opened his mouth to say something.

“No,” she warned before a word could come out and pointed at the chair once again.

She could see him bite the inner side of his cheek to not smile in amusement. He looked her up and down while he was trying to decide whether he should fight her on the matter. He eventually walked to the chair and sat down. He leaned back in the chair and waited patiently for her to talk. She threw herself down in the chair opposite from him.

“You are without a doubt the worst bastard I have ever had the misfortune of knowing,” she said coldly. “I hated you so much before I was released. I hated you after as well. I still do, in fact. You are a terrible, evil person and that’s a fact you are well aware of. A fact that you enjoy, even.”

A smile tugged at Raphael’s lips.

“May I speak?” he asked.

“No, this isn’t really a conversation,” she said with a sigh and brushed his question away with a wave of her hand. “I just feel stupid talking to myself.”

Raphael gave her a short ‘mm’ and nodded, while he tried his best to hide his amusement at the situation.

“Let’s go over what you have actually done to me personally though,” she mumbled to herself with another sigh and started counting the incidents on her fingers. “You kidnapped me because you were angry that I broke into your house and that I did not give you the Crown of Karsus. You fucked me to pieces the first time we had sex…”

A self-satisfied look washed over his face at the mention of that. Tav kept listing:

“You almost killed me in your sleep, accident or not. You fingered me while you made me play the song that you planned on killing me and all of my friends to.”

“You were not complaining at the time…” Raphael chimed in with a smile.

“Shhhh,” she shushed and kept going. “You made it sound like I was complicit in what happened to Cassius the first time you punished him. You are doing the same now that you are punishing him again…Then there is of course the parade of evil shit you have put me through the last 24 hours…And all of the blatant manipulation and mind games, but I don’t have enough fingers for counting that.”

She leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling as she tried to remember if she had forgotten anything.

“Quite the list, but not as long as I might have anticipated,” she mumbled. “Most of them are not that horrible either. Though it doesn’t include all the horrible things you have done to others, which I should consider. I have killed plenty of other people for less than what I know you have done to others. I don’t even want to think about what I don’t know.”

She took a deep breath. It was quiet for a moment while she was thinking. There was only the sound of the cracks from the fireplace and the howling of souls in the distance. She fiddled with the arm of the chair while she looked into the flames with an empty stare.

“You’ve also been kind…” she said quietly. “To me, at least. That night where you almost killed me. You saved my life as well after. You accepted my scars when I showed them to you…You slept in human form from that day on so you wouldn’t do it again.”

“You called out my name…”

“What?” she asked.

“You called out my name that night,” he repeated in an uncharacteristically quiet voice and then cleared his throat. “I woke up because you screamed my name while I was tearing you apart.”

“Well…yes,” she said as if he had stated something obvious. “To make you stop.”

He gave her a small smile and then looked into the fire.

“You had been sleeping,” he said in a low voice. “You could have called for one of the servants, you might have even been sleeping so heavily that you did not realize where you were and called for your friends in a moment of confusion, or you could have even simply called for help. You did not. Your first instinct was to call on me. You were so certain that I would stop if you simply awoke me.”

She raised an eyebrow at that.

“You did,” she said. “Or at least you must have at some point, since you managed to save me.”

“Though you were so certain that I would that you might have used your final breath to call out for the very person who would have been the cause for your death.”

Tav scrunched up her face and looked at the floor as she thought about it. It had been instinct. She had instinctively known that he would stop if he knew what he was doing, though he had given her no reason to believe that he particularly cared for her at that point.

“Your life was never crucial to my plan,” he said. “A fact that I am certain you have already figured out on your own. Perhaps, if you had not called out my name that night, I might have saved myself the trouble of saving you and gone along with my second plan: tell your friends that you are dead, wait for them to avenge you, kill them, and retrieve the hammer myself. How different things could have been, were it not for such a small thing…”

He looked at her. Though there was still a façade of calmness on his face, she could see that there was also a glimmer of something in his eyes that suggested that a part of him was worried about her reaction. She probably should have been mad at having just been told that she could have been long dead, killed by the man she loved. She was not. She was confused more than anything.

“Well why didn’t you then?” she asked. “I don’t understand.”

“I found it curious,” he said quietly. “The stubborn, idiotic woman who had been a thorn in my side for so long, who was then reduced to this…fragile, dying, little thing in my arms. It felt like hours as I held you under the water, wishing for it to wash away what I had done. You had trusted me in your final moments…found me a savior, even. Not out of desperation like so many others, but pure, naïve, misplaced trust.”

He turned his head to look into the fire again and took a deep, sharp breath. It was clear on his face that the devil part of him was actively fighting the mortal part that felt some emotion over the confession.

“Then you told me about your father and the pieces started coming together,” he continued and brushed away the emotion with a lazy hand gesture, returning to his cold and rational self. “A child is forced to trust those who care for them to survive, no matter how cruel they might be. Some of those children continue to do so even when they grow up. Like yourself.”

“And some of those children refuse to trust anyone at all when they grow up,” she said softly. “Like you…”

He looked sharply at her with a slight warning in his eyes. It softened a moment after, and he looked away from her again. He did not comment on her observation. It had been a reach in the dark. She did not know much about Raphael’s relationship with his father, other than he both hated him and was terrified of him, though his reaction had told her that she was right in her guess.

“I think that night was when I started truly feeling something for you as well,” she said.

“I’m aware,” he said with a small smile. “You made it all too easy for me, my dear. I knew I had you in the palm of my hand from the moment you dared to show me your scars. From then it was a game: drawing you in by showing you the parts of myself that I knew you wanted to see and pushing you away with the parts of what I truly am to see how far I could go.”

“Say what you will but it was not all deception,” she said. “I began to be able to tell the difference.”

“Indeed,” he said. “Which I only allowed because I knew I had you. Then you ran away, and I thought for a moment that I had been wrong, and I let you go. I rarely am. Now you are here, proving that I was right all along. You might not know what your answer will be yet, but I do. You will stay.”

“Am I truly so hopelessly predictable?”

He did not say anything, but his smile said everything.

“If you were so sure, then why were you still playing your mind games with me?” she asked. “Why did you try to appeal to my stubbornness by saying I would leave you?”

He took a deep breath and studied her with an unreadable expression for a moment.

“I dislike being proven wrong,” he said in a quiet voice. “It does happen on rare occasions. This is something that I am not sure I can bear being proven wrong about…”

She looked at him and how his eyes softened ever so slightly as he said it. He looked and sounded so sincere that it almost made her tear up. She was not going to let him off the hook so lightly though.

“Say it then,” she said hurriedly, her voice beginning to crack. “Say that you want me to stay. Use that clever silver-tongue of yours to convince me to do so. I need to hear it.”

He looked at her with such longing for a moment.

“I will not lie to you, Tav,” he said. “My intention when I let you go was sincere. It would be better for you to leave. Was I not selfish, I would have left you in Baldur’s Gate and refused you entry to my home. The foundation for your love for me was built by the cruelties you have known in your past. You are young and have had no time to build anything else, though you should be given the chance before I eventually come for your soul. However,” he said and paused before continuing. “It just so happens that I am selfish. I do want you to stay and I do love you...Though only in a way that will never be adequate for what you need or deserve…”

Tav’s tears were running down her cheeks. She inhaled sharply as she tried to stop crying so much. They had never told each other before. Not really. He held out a clawed hand to her. She got up from her chair and took it. He gently pulled her to his lap and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his doublet.

“I love you too,” she sobbed while he ran his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion. “I just wish…gods…I just wish it didn’t have to be like this. Because this is the person I love. Not the person I have seen today and yesterday.”

“No matter how much you wish it, they are the same,” he sighed into her hair. “You cannot get the man and discard the devil, my sweet.”

“But you could change,” she pleaded. “I don’t know how. You could just stop. Stop collecting souls, stop torturing people, stop all of this.”

“I am thousands of years old,” he said. “I am set in my ways. I cannot change just for you, my dearest, and I do not wish to. Your life time is a mere blink of an eye for someone like me. I have to survive and live on long after you are gone and—”

He cut his sentence off abruptly and held her even closer. His breathing changed and he was not allowing her to see his face with the grip he held her in. Was he crying? It was gone again after he cleared his throat and kissed the top of her head.

“It will hardly matter though, will it?” he asked softly. “You will choose to stay regardless…you poor thing.”

She started crying again when she realized that he was right. She nodded. She heard a small sigh of relief coming from his lips. She placed her hands on his cheeks and looked into those orange eyes of his.

She never realized how differently she had seen his two forms before now. That she had somehow separated who he was even in that regard. She looked at that orange light that shone through the black abyss of his sclera, and at the jagged horns that protruded from his forehead. She had always thought that she had only loved the man. She found to her horror that she loved the devil as well.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” she asked him genuinely, as if she truly did not have the answer herself and had gone slightly mad. “Or I’m evil too, perhaps. A terrible person at least. I’m not a hero, that’s for sure, or a good person. How else could I do this?”

“You are human,” he said with a smile. “The Hells would be empty if it was not for that simple quality of imperfection in mankind. I should know. I have spent my life on exploiting it.”

She went quiet and leaned against his chest again. Her head was still running away with her. Not because she was to make a decision, but to cope with the one she had just made.

She was standing on the balcony, looking out over the hellscape of Avernus. Her new home. It was an impossible task to take it all in at once. Everything had happened so fast. Perhaps that had been the point. Even now, she was not sure how much of the outcome of the situation had been meticulously planned by Raphael.

She had felt the same way during her adventure. Everything seemed complete coincidence until Raphael’s name seemed to pop up everywhere, and it became apparent that the devil had orchestrated a lot more than could ever be seen at their first glance. The Shadow-cursed Lands, Astarion’s scars, Gortash, the Crown, Orpheus and his chains…All tied to one man who seemed to hold fate itself in the palm of his clawed hand.

Who knew if she was not simply a key to something bigger down the line as well and that it had all been one big trick? Everyone else who had gotten connected to him probably thought they had the upper hand as well and it seemed all too like him to let them believe that.

She felt that she understood him and knew how he worked. She was sure of it. Then again…a person might understand the intricate nature of any beast, but that won’t make the beast any less dangerous and it won’t save them from being devoured if it pleases it.

Her head was somewhere else when the beast himself snaked an arm around her waist from behind her and placed a kiss on her neck. His free hand held a rolled piece of parchment in front of her face. She took it.

“Read it through carefully,” he purred and placed another kiss on her neck. “We can discuss any changes or adjustments you might have after.”

She rolled out the parchment and looked it over briefly.

“What is this?”

“A contract of sorts,” he said. “Not for your soul, but for your life. Rules for you to follow and freedoms that I will grant you in return.”

“A deed of ownership, essentially…”

“Marriage, essentially,” he corrected and smiled against her skin. “I did tell you that if you chose this, you would be mine. Mine in life and in death.”

She huffed and turned around to face him.

“Same thing in the end, isn’t it?”

“Must you be such a pessimist, my dear?” he said with a dramatic sigh. “Read it. Let me hear your thoughts when you are done.”

She smiled at him and lowered her gaze to read it through. It was rather long and extremely detailed.

A few of the notable freedoms he would grant her did in fact surprise her: she would be granted four months of every year to spend time on the Material Plane, which would not include the times where he might take her there himself. She would also be given a private space that she could use as she pleased. She would never have to sleep in the same bed or occupy the same space as him, if she did not want to, and most importantly, it was stated that he could not force her to do anything against her will.

She got to the clauses containing the rules for their ‘marriage’. There were a lot that made perfect sense, such as infidelity not being permitted in their relationship (there was an extensive list of what Raphael categorized as such underneath). There were also plenty of odd ones: She could not communicate with other devils or agents of the Infernal in any way, shape or form. There was also another one that was wrapped in so much Infernal legalese that it took her a while to decipher it: she was unable to remove the effects of any spells or conditions that Raphael put on her for whatever reason.

Her eyes scanned over every word, though when she had read to the end and there was only the dotted line left on the page, she was still confused about one thing.

“You can’t take my soul as collateral if I break the rules since you already own it,” she stated. “So, what am I signing away?”

“Correct,” he said. “This is a different sort of contract. In a sense it is not entirely different from a warlock’s pact. If the warlock breaks any clauses, their patron might take something away from them for a time instead of breaking the pact entirely. In the cases of warlocks, that would be their powers, but in the case of you, it will be some of those freedoms stated in your contract.”

Ah. There was the catch that she had been waiting on. She sighed and scanned through the contract once again. Most of the rules seemed easy enough to follow. Then again, that was often the thing with contracts like these: they looked fair on the surface. She had already taken a decision, so it was too late to back out now anyway. She would simply have to trust him.

“I’ll sign,” she said. “But I have one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You will be more honest with me in the future,” she said. “I know that you don’t lie, but I want you to be clearer with your intentions in the future. No more games...”

He smiled at her.

“Such things are awfully difficult to write into a legal document,” he said.

“I just want your word on it,” she said. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” he said. “Will you sign then?”

She nodded. He summoned a quill. She took a deep breath and looked it through one last time before signing it. She was going to regret this. She just knew it.

He smiled fondly at her and made the contract disappear with a snap of his fingers. He walked closer and his arms wrapped around her.

“Another rhyme then…for old times’ sake,” he said quietly to her and looked at her lips. “Though fate was cruel, the cat said, our paths again align. The chase is over, my sweet mouse, now that you are mine…”

She smiled. He leaned down and kissed her softly. In that moment all her worries disappeared from her mind as if they had never been there in the first place.

She loved him. The man who felt, and the cruel silver-tongued devil who did not. All of him. She would gladly hand him the knife that he would use to cut her open with, if only it meant that she could be the blood that clung to him after. He would stitch her together again anyway, and she would know that only he could ever make her feel whole.