#i said let’s figure it out together
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lust vs love, it’s a thin line
but he treads it all the same
#drew’s catty corner#boy talk#tried to sound poetic here but idkkk#we said we’d take baby steps but clearly we’ve said fuck that#he’s trying to figure out if what he feels is lust or love#i said let’s figure it out together#god i’m terrified but i don’t want to regret this#i think i need a nap#he’s so damn sweet said that he’d let me ruin him 😩#mission status: i’m positively fucked#guys what happens if it’s not love? then at least i tried ig??#someone please advise#also this would be such a good plot
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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who here loves divorce? I do. here's captain star and captain zero: two people who can't help but drag other unwilling people into their huge mess! including the youth. can't forget the youth
(bit of ramble in the tags)
#this is tugs#tugs captain star#tugs captain zero#tugs ten cents#tugs zip#zerostar#zipcents#<-- let us hold hands through the trials of this world.#fortezza bigg city#senjart#complicated doomed old men yaoi is a bruhstation staple so of course I'm thrilled to show these two#said this to my friend#''what if ''found family'' parental figures have the toxicity of a traditional family's parents. something like that''#I can't really call the star fleet or even z-stacks found family because they're all bound together out of their will#like a traditional family#also they're people just doing their jobs but the youngest ones definitely got the worst blunt force#related to the animal imagery#ten cents is unwilling to be ordered around 24/7 by captain star and wants to assert his own agency#but due to his status as an employee and a child in star's eyes he can't do much about it other than scoff when star asks where he's been#ten cents is more assertive and stubborn. he desires to fly free and do whatever he wants without getting constantly nagged#zip is more mellow and subdued. he is more obedient and doesn't question much of what he's told#whether it's by zorran zug or captain zero#zip is like if you take a silly jolly golden retriever and try so so hard to train it to become a hunting dog#he regards captain zero highly like a son would to a father. he believes that zero is acting upon tough love on him#when in reality captain zero is just being his impatient distant self. he does care about zip but he also wants profit from it?#''I could guide him at arm's length but I should also have another errand boy in my ranks. it's good that he's obedient''#also FYI captain star and zero are not horrible people or whatever outlandish thing there is. they're just deeply flawed people-#-with distorted perspective on relationships and morality#anyways. I need a cold beer
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Mutual left this tag on one of my Fuuta analyses and yeah...
Part two of "Fuuta’s central theme is invasion of privacy and he has extreme anxiety over being watched, so it's interesting that we get to pick him apart and see all his worst, most private thoughts" :(
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#i didnt want to be annoying with a tag but thank you trinipopkt for the original tag :3#ive never posted something like this so let me know if i need to tag anything#my writing brain may be struggling rn but you can bet im still over here drawing fuuta 😅👍#part one was the lil moodboard on main#this also had slight oc connections (my brain was going brrr having a scientist oc) but once again its general to the audience overall#plus i was really proud of the composition/posing/colors i switched to -- i was excited to share!!#it took me like 80 years to pick a composition/pose that worked asdfsadsg#and i had to redo all my coloring and shading because i wanted a more neutral sterile science look than what i originally had#anyway it wasnt my usual type of drawing so it was a lot of fun to see it come together!#i did the first version and my partner said it was mean (and against procedure) to keep him awake#but then the second version felt equally mean :(((( so in conclusion rip fuuta#he is my little bug and i am going to figure out what makes him tick
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me? a ship whore?! well ––
margaery x robb margaery x sansa margaery x tyrion margaery x gendry margaery x jon margaery x aegon ii margaery x aemond margaery x daemon margaery x tywin margaery x jaime margaery x cersei margaery x tommen margaery x dany margaery x oberyn margaery x sandor (only w @scndor if our plot ever gets there shhh) margaery x jace tbh margaery x harwin bc i ship myself w harwin so margaery x corlys byeeeeeeeeeeee margaery x addam idk shit about him but he's beautiful margaery x laena margaery x theon margaery x rhaenyra oop margaery x me
the best part is that i'm certain i'm missing people i'd ship her with
#• the one true queen speaks ! || ooc.#this is a COMPLETELY serious post ok#ship with me i said !!!!!!!!#and for the ones that make you think “how tf???”#those are the most fun ones let's figure it out together babe#SHIP WITH ME YOU COWARDS
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the more photos of Sophie T I see the more I understand why she’s so beloved in the fandom. she’s just a whole fucking mood. like
first one she’s completely dead pan doing a perfect thumbs up
second one she’s doing an exaggerated stereotypical Italian hand gesture
and in the third one she’s just fully stanced up with her fucking coffee. what an icon.
#anyway i’m just starting to understand the hype around her sorry i’m late to the party#I DO LOVE Natalie Scatorccio#i just saw these photos and was suddenly like. yeah. I get it.#I know they’re not technically in character for all of these but also they definitely are#Yellowjackets#Yellowjackets cast#Sophie Thatcher#Natalie Scatorccio#(also bc JackieShauna brainrot and I know these are loosely in character but the fact that Jackie/Ella and Shauna/Sophie N)#(are next to each other in each of these and esp the way Jackie/Ella is looking at Shauna in that first one)#(adorable)#(I know people have different takes on who would have figured out their feelings first Jackie or Shauna)#(but I firmly believe that Shauna is oblivious through sheer force of will. like ‘of course I love her so much that I hate her.’)#(‘that is normal and acceptable.’)#(meanwhile Jackie like. knows how she feels about Shauna she just hasn’t really put together what it means.)#(like ‘yeah she’s the most important person in my life and I love her infinitely more than my long term boyfriend’)#(‘and prefer being held and touched by her and yes i’d let anyone die to save her and i cannot imagine a future without her in it’)#(‘and that i couldn’t imagine us losing our virginities separately. that’s not like. gay or anything.’#(last point a paraphrase of something Ella actually said about Jackie)#anyway this turned into a JackieShauna ramble whoops
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AHHHH OKAYOKAY FINE
i'll let kijani out of his enclosure and write the opening to the verdant project. i don't know what he'll do when he's out, but it's a prologue, bitch isn't going far plot-wise.
and NO. marshall will not be there even though he is the main character. he does not get the privilege.
#you guys convinced me (partially)#i will TRY#but prologue. easier. kinda.#thats bout it#different bc its going to be prose whereas other parts of verdant will be more discursive#but no#marshall will not be there#gotta let kijani cook before i bring in his awful love interest lmao#keeping the queers as far apart as possible#they CANNOT be in the same room together#(because i haven't figured marshall out yet)#WHO SAID THAT#verde rambles in tags
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I don't, unfortunately, have any kind of a story to hang it on yet (she says, furiously sawing and hammering away at some trope-by-fours), but I would really love to write something where Sam and the boys, especially David, are forced into interacting for an extended period of time (and for Contrived Plot Reasons nobody can kill anybody else). I just think. It would be funny.
#the lost boys#at the moment the vague scaffolding taking form in my mind is - something something Michael doesn't come home#and Sam goes looking for him#(maybe...Michael doesn't come home after the bonfire and Star shows up at the house to see him and ends up talking to Sam instead?)#anyway for whatever reason Sam knows about the cave and goes looking for Mike there - but none of the boys know where he is either#they'd all figured he'd just run home to mommy and he'd be back after sundown#but now it's past sundown and...no Michael#just his brat little brother accusing them all of eating him#(can Max actually be serious? he wants to saddle them with THIS twerp? for ETERNITY?)#(his mom must be a centerfold model with the personality of a saint or something because. ugh.)#anyway now Michael is Missing and they All Have To Work Together to Find Him#and also not let their respective parents find out that they lost him#or something. like i said. no real story to hang it on.#...yet
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hi. for people who saw gatsby: an american myth. do you remember mckee asking nick for lunch. and then gatsby in like the next scene inviting nick for lunch. because i remember.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#when gatsby was like 'we should do lunch' i was like. hello. fucking. hello. are we. hello.#gatsby really said we just met literally 5 minutes ago. come meet my father figure. normal normal thing to do jay.#to be clear gatsby also asks him to go to lunch in the book. but like. there's a time skip. and also#in the show after mckee asks they immediately start making out on the couch. none of this ... nonsense#so the vibes are a LITTLE different in my brain.#i saw a few people say they didnt think gatsby and nick flirted enough and like while i do think that think part of it is we're#in nick's pov but not his HEAD#he DOES start singing about gatsby's smile for no reason until jordon is like. alright buddy. lets talk about daisy.#like nick was just Doing That. pull it together carraway.#but i got the vibe (JUST my take) that gatsby was like. kinda into nick. zero reason to be leaning into his space like that sir.#however when he actually MET daisy again he became kinda singularly focused on her again#i mean he built his whole lifeup to this moment#he says it at the end. he murdered pieces of himself to bring himself here. for DAISY.#him snapping back to daisy mode makes sense to me but he still reaches out for nick as a comfort in the sense that hes like#nick do NOT leave please stay with us. daisy does the same. and ofc part is that theyre really. fucking awkward. but like.#LET ME HAVE MY OWN NONSENSE INTERPRETATIONS. HES TRAPPED BY WHITENESS AND CLASS AND HETEROSEXUALITY.#hes already so much of an outsider trying to fit in. (i also think he loves daisy or an ideal at least. and she's EASIER to love. safer.)#nick inherently has more freedom even as a gay man in the sense that hes richer and white and an ivy league dude i mean you understand righ#right????????#even if its in the book i do wanna point out the parallels between those moments. im choosing to see it as deeply intentional <3#this show had a lot of repetition and parallels (see daisy and myrtle in a lot of songs and scenes)#(one i LOVE is tom giving myrtle a necklace and daisy later giving TOM her necklace in case he sees anyone he knows. idk love that shit)#im...gonna queue this#im embarrassed to talk about this show so much. so. into the queue it goes!!!#all the worlds a stage#so like. anyway. thats where i think nick's mind immediately went when gastsby asked him for lunch. personal headcanon <3#gatsby after one convo: we're doing lunch // me and nick immediately: oh ok! guess that's a date then!
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something doesn't feel quite right
#arc.png#bg3#oc: lan#astarion#astalan#tav x astarion#i restarted lan's save. again. idk how many times this is now#i restarted because i downloaded the party limit remover mod#and let me tell you i am having SO MUCH FUN......#the game feels so much more alive now it's wild#that all said it means i have to live through these idiots' angst era again#that delightful mid-act 1 time where they're sleeping together but astarion doesn't really care yet#and lan (who is a full on charisma build proficient in insight and persuasion and such) SHOULD be picking up on it#but he's so absolutely rattled by things like meeting mayrina and seeing waukeen's rest and learning all his friends' fucked up backstories#that he just. doesn't. he does not acknowledge the weird vibes.#so they're both acting like they're having a great time on the surface. but the second they think the other can't see them. well#(also side note that from now on it's lan with one n. it was formerly lann but that extra n has always bothered me)#(i think i was trying to avoid confusion with HSR lan but at this point i don't fucking care i hate that extra letter ksdhgdks he's lan.)#(ALSO FUN FACT I FEEL LIKE I FORGOT HOW TO DRAW. this is the first thing i've drawn in. too long.)#(was genuinely surprised i managed it tbqh. i kinda just blacked out while the spirit of gay video game men possessed me and made me draw.)#(gonna... try to figure out how i did it and see if i can make art again... i miss it orz)
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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hmmm *finds old spotify playlist* what if i listened to it
why is there an mlp based song on here
#because i first found it through the recommended songs#and i didn't realize it was mlp based at first#when i did figure it out i liked it too much said fuck it and kept it in my playlist#because it's a bop#50c14l speaks#i still feel uncomfortable liking mlp stuff cuz my brother essentially bullied me out of liking it when i was younger#and even now when i'm trying to feel more comfortable liking what i like; including mlp; he still mocks me#try not to let it get to me but :(((((#i'm more comfortable liking steven universe; gravity falls; amphibia and the owl house cuz HE liked those things as well#ohhhhhhhhhhhh he was complaining about not having anything to watch maybe we can watch atla together so i can rewatch it and finally finish#shall prepose that... at the beginning of summer cuz school has me too stressed right now to be committed to watching a show
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watching good omens s2 & remembering how truly insane crowley makes me
#his little WALK his PLANTS his HAIR his LAUGH he's just SOOO#the way he's GOOD he's so good and he knows it and he tries to be so kind always#and he's a demon but he's always in polished and clean attire even if it's all black#its neat its fancy its as undemonlike as possible without being angelic. he said let there be light. HE SAID IT.#and god cast him out for asking a couple questions and he's been on his own side ever since (well. one other.)#and im honestly obsessed with how often he calls aziraphale angel#OHGHHH they work so WELL together [weeping sobbing heart shattered]#i need to find that post about their int stats because theres Something about crowleys ability to be cynical about god#and aziraphales quiet admittance that he's right! sometimes and maybe this is just me projecting in a way i haven't quite figured out yet#sometimes i think crowley forgets he's a demon. like it just doesn't Stick#of course its inherent to his entire being now but he just doesn't feel particularly... Evil#he stands up for the little guys. hes anti capitalist. he loves his best friend. he tells humans not to kill themselves.#the worst he's done is inconvenience a couple people. the best he's done is give a poor kid 90 guineas and a reason to live#like. how could you not be infatuated#chaos.txt
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I really wish my mom would just fucking. respect the fact that I have no desire to be religious and that I don't know if I ever will be because it feels like she's subtly trying to convince me to come back and idk. I just kinda wish she'd respect the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with it
#like. when i first left the church she encouraged me to go to therapy to Get Everything Worked Out and i did !!#i went to therapy. did all the work. took a look inside and went ''yep. still queer. still nonreligious''#and left a more emotionally healthy + put together guy.#and when she asked me about it and i said i still was quite sure i didnt want to go to church#she was wringing her hands like ''oh...winter youre so twisted up and confused inside...you need to get all this figured out..''#and for a while i TRIED. but eventually i put my foot down and was like. Mom. i am not confused. i am not twisted up inside.#and she looked pretty upset ans flabbergasted because HOW could HER KID possibly FALL AWAY from the church and become a HERETIC!??#or something idk#so now we've reached a sort of impasse. where im semi happily living at home w them and not having to do religious shit#and she lets me. but idk she always brings up god and church and shit in conversation#and i dont even think she's TRYING to !! its just a really big part of her life and its important to her#so she tries to use it to comfort me or whatever. but it falls flat because its not important to Me. and she just cant comprehend that.#and idk. idk#im just rambling at this point but i also feel like. i cant really be the person i am around my family#because she's pulled me aside and made me promise i wouldnt do or say anything that could Lead My Siblings Astray#so i cant really talk about queerness. or my own experiences as a queer person. or how people should be able to choose for themselves#what they believe in.#and since im living in their house when im old enough to not be im afraid that if i break the rule she'll kick me out#and i do NOT have the money for my own place rn#and throughout it all there's this underlying feeling that she doesnt want my siblings to Be Like Me#which only reinforces the feeling ive had all my life of being the family black sheep. lol#anyway. sundays are particularly shitty in this regard because theyre Church Days.#so idk. im just thinking out loud rn#winter speaks#personal
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pondering some new content maybe (big maybe) and like always i’m stuck trying to choose a team and a location
#since it would be again. in a pro baseball setting#can’t do high school anymore. i mean i don’t mind it but from a narrative standpoint. i like writing with hmmm. guaranteed absolutes#not to say high schoolers cannot be written with that but it’s much easier with adults#like. ya know what i mean?#easier to say well they end up together and that’s that. than if it were like high school. just because they’re so young then and#let me just say as someone freshly turned 20. I don’t have shit figured out. can’t even think about a relationship at this point#so it’s just better for me. because i like the. as i said. guarantee of it#anyway this is also a big maybe so if i never post about this ever again Don’t hold it against me. i won’t know anything until i try writing#but this idea. Yeah. We’ll see#moss writes dgfh
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ykw i think would get Do Sik's head away from these murderous thoughts about ripping vampires' hearts out of their chest and drinking their blood to fix whatever's wrong with him while he simultaneously sort of pines after In Hae? d*ck. that would fix him. let him have a bisexual awakening for a sec and the villain arc in this case is stopped in its tracks
#tv: heartbeat#kbs heartbeat#kbs2 heartbeat#heartbeat 2023#heartbeat kdrama#가���이 뛴다#gaseumi ttwinda#my heart is beating#my heart beats#park kang hyun#ham tae in#kdrama#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#ik Man Hwi would be all too happy to get a chance to drink fresh blood but i'm not pairing him with you bby. you'd drain him dry#before you even f*cked and that's not the f*cking point here#now Secretary Gu. i've said this before but that's a good pairing. make them boyfriends if you're not going to put him and Hae Won#together and let our couple live their lives tyvm. who's going to write the fics#edit: not me trying to figure out where i had seen Kang Hyun before this and finally realizing he's a musical actor#+ he was in Elisabeth and i've seen clips from his Hadestown performance#the range. the range i say
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