#i said im FUCKING SCARED OF HAWAII. You got SO SICK. i was genuinely afraid of uou DYING brcause im an ovetthinking idiot i CRIED
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Y'all senior vacations are such a stupid idea, just take me a couple hours to the caverns foe a one day trip and I'm happy fjdjd
#honestly they sould just take my sister#use the tax rebate on that instrad of a senior trip#ill spend 100 buvks going to the caverns i just want evrryone off my back and to understand that i aint a travelin sorta person#the. only places i have a real interest in are too far due to moms break from work and im like#'i know im selfish and I know I'm a coward. what else are you looking for? did i miss something? is it the fear of planes or the fear of the#ocean? maybe its my fear of flatlands. or maybe bogs. perhaps it's the anxiety large crounds bring? or perhaps i dont like being told to th#ink of something on the spot?'#dream you say? my dream is to sustain myself with a basic 1b1br house where i can turn the backyard into a natural garden#thetes my dream and i feel like i will nevwr achieve it. you happy? you fcuking happy? ive basically thrown space to the dirt#with you talking about how thats probably not what ill do with nasa and how its pretty much fruitless to imagine working with the spacw stuf#f. i got and talk about iy and you dont care. god i know im a piece of ahit but i really hate when you lecture me for two hours on it becaus#i said im FUCKING SCARED OF HAWAII. You got SO SICK. i was genuinely afraid of uou DYING brcause im an ovetthinking idiot i CRIED#but no. i shouldnt be scaref because 'it was probably from a tick that bit you when you werw a kid'#god i know im selfish and first world problems but my god.. just use the money for your bills or take charles who would KILL to go anywhere#im just scared of everuthing snd my god im sick of people being on my case#great mom. its nice to know you and grandma are deadset on thailand and hawaii. its nice seeing both od y'all's goals and both of y'alls#for where to go but then i say my ideas 'orleans is too slummy' 'youve already been here' 'what do you mean there are places youre not inter#ested in?' oh gee i dunno maybe i really detest the idea of travel and large groupa of people kico my brain into overdrive?#man 'dont get lost you'll break and lose yourself and think so awfully of yourself-' i think i broke when everyone determined i was garbage#in sixth grade and suddenly people weren't talking to me and i had no friends and for an entire fucking year#until i met miss emotionally abusive bitch. you ask why i dont socialize with new people well im IGNORED or im SCARED#ans then she compared me to my cat and said my fear is like his ans im too scared to get what i want - (implying a fucking relationship)#vent
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