#i respect that my mom loved having houseplants and i like having them around too but like

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

now attempting necroplantcy

[char-lotteral]

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

[fortheloveoffanfic]

The Arrangement

John Wick x Reader (A/n- I have no idea where this is going, but its definitely going. Also, just for some supplemental texture--> John’s townhouse   Y/n’s apartment)

The Arrangement 

Warnings- NSFW/SMUT, dom/sub, vaginal fingering, semi public sex, some angst, John being kind of an asshole.

Sweet Surrender

John leaned back in the dark leather chair positioned behind his mahogany desk, his elbows propped on the upholstered arm rests and his fingers touching at the tips. Besides work, there was a lot of his mind, most of it having to do with Y/n. They weren't his usual thoughts of her though, these were troubling. Something had changed with her and lately, he had been starting to sense that she was unhappy. Y/n hadn’t out-rightly said so, but it was in the little things; she’d stopped offering him details on the life she lived outside of their shared moments and all in all, she wasn’t her typical light, carefree self. 

In the beginning, it was Y/n’s bubbly personality that had attracted him, enthralling him. Before, he’d usually find his women via other means, there had only been a few others and they were all nice enough, good at following orders and fun in bed. But nonetheless, Y/n was certainly his favorite, upon meeting her, John could easily tell that she was a natural submissive and wasn’t thoughtless like those gone by. She didn’t take her role in his life lightly either, and John cared for her in a way that he hadn’t for anyone one else. Which was why it stung to think that he wasn’t doing right by her, their arrangement was supposed to bring them both pleasure, but if he wasn’t doing that for her, then half the purpose was lost. He wondered what had caused her discontent, up until then, he figured that he had been good to Y/n, he took care of her needs; sexual, financial and otherwise, he tried to listen when she needed an ear and always respected her boundaries. 

He’d have to bring it up soon, John wasn’t afraid of addressing it, besides, it was nearing the eleventh month of their first contract, they’d have to discuss whether or not they wanted to renew it or not. Usually, John never renewed them, by the end of the year, he'd often find himself yearning for a fresh face, letting his latest attraction go like dust on wind, but that year it was different and he couldn’t see himself growing tired of Y/n in the foreseeable future. John knew what he wanted, the final decision would have to be Y/n’s. 

“Mr. Wick?” his secretary poked her little brunette head into his office, interrupting his tumultuous thoughts. With a hum and annoyance expertly kept at bay, he glanced up, meeting a pair of clear green eyes. Abigail was just a few years older than Y/n and had been his secretary for going on three years. He could never tell what her angle was though, with all the tight shirts and short skirts, sure she was pretty enough, but it was the kind of beauty John could see himself getting bored of quickly. She didn’t really have much of a defining personality either, very two dimensional and he suspected that she didn’t have much more depth than she offered at face value. She was nothing like Y/n who was intelligent and exciting. “Your one o’clock is here,” even after she delivered her message, Abigail stayed there, still holding the door open.

With a quiet sigh, John sat up straighter, slowly moving to stand, “Is that all Abigail?” He didn’t even spare a minute to look at her, though, he could feel her eyes on him. When she offered a meek yes, finally turning to walk away, he called her back, just remembering something, “Did you finish the draft I asked you to work on?”

After a moment of hesitation, and shuffling her feet childishly, “No, Mr. Wick, I haven’t-”

“How the fuck am I supposed to start the deposition on Monday without it?” He snarled, glaring at her; John absolutely hated excuses, especially when he could tell they were going to be baseless.   Alarmed, Abigail jumped, her face going pale and her eyes glassy. Apologizing profusely, she cast her gaze to the shiny marble floor, but John was too irritated to care. He’d have fired her right on the spot, but he needed someone working his receptionist’s station and for that draft to be finished by the end of the day. So, he’d spare her, for now. “Just….get it done by five,” he’d wanted to leave by four thirty to get ready for dinner later that evening, but he’d spare Abigail the half hour, “And get the hell out of my office.” Without another world, Abigail scurried out and John  finished gathering his materials, almost ready to head to the elevator when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

It was a text from Y/n, and despite himself, he smiled, she never ceased to brighten his day a little. She had sent a picture of the dress she’d purchased for the night, per his request; a short, dusty mauve, chiffon one with a cowl neck and thin straps at the shoulders. Directly below that picture was another of strappy nude stilettos with thin five inch heels, John adored seeing her in high heels, especially those pencil thin, dangerous looking ones. The attachments were followed up by a simple question, “Are these okay?”

John moistened his lips, already able to picture how the outfit would look on Y/n, definitely good enough for him to want to keep her in the bedroom. She had a wonderful sense of style and normally looked good in anything. Usually, John preferred to be there when she shopped, ensuring that she wasn’t worrying about prices and that things like lingerie were suited to his tastes, but in the event that he was unavailable, John had found that she was fine on her own. “Those are perfect,” he sent the text, locking his phone and heading out of his office to the conference room.

John detested Y/n’s apartment. It was small, no, small would be an understatement, it was tiny and if he’d had his way when they were first checking places out for her, John would have seen that she’d gotten something bigger. But, he was deep in lust and Y/n hadn’t been happy with any of the other that the real estate agent took them to. In fact, it had taken almost a month for her to find that place in New York City and, when they had gone to see it, Y/n had instantly fallen in love with the quaint, cool-toned, vintage styled apartment with beige and mellow blue walls, light hardwood floors and white wooden doors that were intentionally made to look faded and unfinished. The decorator that John had hired kept with the natural vintage theme too, adding an old fashioned farm sink, a charming mix of stained marble and tiles on the kitchen counter, homely rugs and even a 1950’s refrigerator solely for aesthetic purposes. Thankfully, the running fridge was integrated and actually from their century. 

As time passed, Y/n had also ensured that her love for houseplants were reflected in her decor too. She had one in every room, always watered and tended to, some growing cheerful flowers while others just maintained a healthy greenness.

Before Y/n had moved in, John had been sure to ask her well over three times if she was sure about her decision, and each time she’d assured him that she was. Y/n had eventually explained that if she lived in something bigger she wouldn’t have a clue on what to do with the extra space, it was just her and Theo anyway.

John stood at Y/n’s door for a minute, searching for her key on his bunch, casually looking up and down the hall. Thankfully, the neighborhood and by extension, the building, was a nice one. Upon finding the right key, John slipped it into the lock, turning twice. As he entered Y/n’s apartment, John called out to her, though, before she could answer, he felt a gentle rubbing on his leg; Theo.

Chuckling, he bent, scooping up the grey Scottish fold. John held the cat to his chest, absently running his fingers affectionately on his soft head, “Where’s your mom?” He asked, already walking towards the living room, earning himself a meow.

“Oh,” Y/n was just hurrying out from the other side of the living room, barefoot and still in her silk lilac robe, though her hair and make up was already done, “John,” her eyes went wide and she looked down in embarrassment, clearly alarmed, “I’m so sorry, I must have heard the time wrong.”

“You didn’t,” he reassured sternly, “I’m early, don’t worry about it,” he waved off her worry, still holding Theo in his arms. John had never been a cat person, but Y/n’s four year old rescue had taken a liking to him upon their first meeting and John at some point, the furry fella had grown on him. 

“Thank you,” she smiled lightly and John offered a faint smile of his own in return, “Theo!” Y/n scolded just realizing that he was in John’s arms, “You’re gonna get cat hair all over John.”

“It’s okay, he just wants a little attention,” John sat himself on her olive colored living room sofa, the length of his legs exaggerated by how low it was, “Go finish getting ready,” he urged and after a brisk nod of compliance, Y/n  hurried off again.

John’s hand was low on Y/n’s back as they followed the hostess to their party’s table in the high end French restaurant. Their table was near an elaborate indoor fountain, beneath a glittering chandelier and as they approached, Y/n could see that a middle aged couple was already seated with a round of drinks. Putting on her best smile, she waited for John to introduce her before offering her hand, “Ellis, Lauren, this is my girlfriend, Y/n.” Her breath hitched excitedly at the word, even if that was the way John always introduced her, it wasn’t like he went around telling people that he had an, by all intents and purposes, a paid for fuck doll. Still, it was enough to feed her hope that one day, maybe in the distant future, he could actually see her as that, as his girlfriend, that the word wouldn’t just be a cover. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” after a moment of bewilderment and obvious hesitation, they took turns shaking her delicate hand, and Y/n did her best to maintain her trained smile; she was used to dealing with snobs anyway.

Even as they introduced themselves; Lauren and Ellis Capeldai, Y/n could see they were judging her; a girl her age, with a nearly middle aged, rich, powerful man? In their minds, Y/n could only be one thing. But alas, she was used to it, and if John had taught her anything, it was that opinions didn’t matter, they were consenting adults, and whatever they did with their personal lives was no one’s but their business.

John pulled out her chair and just as Y/n sat, John did too, immediately engaging conversation with Ellis. They glazed over small talk for a couple minutes, before getting into the specifics of a case; the Capeldais’ owned a private clinic in the city and had recently had a malpractice suit brought against them. Quietly, from her position next to John, she tried to keep up with their conversation, though, she only knew that much when it came to legal and medical jargon; an English degree could only take you that far in certain directions. In fact, the only thing she could deduce was that someone’s relative had died and that John was positive that he could prove that it wasn’t anyone’s fault but the dead patient’s. 

Eventually, it came to the point where the more they spoke, the less Y/n wanted to hear. There was a dirty side to John’s job, or maybe it was just John himself, though Y/n could never bring herself to see him like that, so she blamed it on the trade instead. He was always willing to go the extra mile, or twenty, for his clients, just to make sure that they won, even going those miles meant getting his hands dirty. It was rare for Y/n to see that side of him, the side that he showed clients, that was ruthless and capable of anything in the name of victory and though John’s power and confidence enthralled her, it also scared her.

If he was like that, what else could he be?

Slowly, Y/n retreated into herself, no longer paying any mind to how their conversation unfolded. Working on autopilot, she steered her gaze to the plate before her, using her fork to shift around what was left of her entree, punctuating her movements with the occasional sip of Pinot Noir. Y/n sunk into her own little world until John’s grip held firm on her exposed thigh, his warm breath fanning her ear as he leaned in to whisper, “It’s rude to play with you food darling.” His gravely drawl sent shivers up his spine, “You don’t want to ruin our night by being punished, do you?”

Hastily, Y/n shifted her dilated gaze to meet John’s whiskey pools, the new rosiness in her cheeks brightening her sparsely applied blush, evident to those that sat across from them, “No sir,” she cast her head down out of instinct, “I’m sorry.”

Surely, the Capeldais’ were spectating with intrigue, though, thankfully not hearing a word of John and Y/n’s exchange. “It’s okay,” his rough fingers inched higher, sneaking beneath the hem of Y/n’s dress, “But don’t do it again,” he warned, covering his tracks with a peck on her cheek.

Even when John redirected his attention to his food, his hand still lingered on her upper thigh, slowly working its way further up, his feather light touch ticklish and reflecting in the pooling moisture in her panties. “So Y/n, dear,” Lauren turned to Y/n, her distaste masked under a stiff smile, “What do you do when you’re not being wined and dined by Mr. Wick?” There was malice in her words, Lauren had apparently decided that Y/n was nothing but a gold digger or something of the sort. 

For a moment, Y/n glanced towards John, who cleared his throat loudly, thankfully, opting to answer for her, “Y/n works at a bank, you probably know it; Fraser Holdings,” John gave her leg a reassuring squeeze, and by then, his fingers were close enough to brush her crotch, “It’s where we met actually, I had some business there and she caught my eye.” John was a master of controlling narrative Y/n knew that every word of his explanation was chosen carefully, with the intention of carrying an air of vagueness. Y/n wasn’t ashamed of her job as a secretary, it paid the bills, at least, it used to, and she knew that John probably wasn’t either, but some people just weren’t worth the whole truth. 

“Oh,” Lauren's stiff, condescending smile was apparently permanently plastered to her no doubt Botox infused face, and her nosiness was proving to be relentless, “And how long have you two been dating?” At the question, the graying Mr. Capadali looked up, he too was intrigued by the question.

Just as the query hit the ear, John’s stocky index brushed her lace clad folds. Caught off guard, Y/n jumped, her eyes going wide and breathing an alarmed gasp, her knee made painful contact with the bottom of the table as she crossed her legs, only serving to squeeze John’s hand in place. Again, she looked to him, but that time, he indicated for her to take the question, a slight smirk tugging at his lips, his trimmed scruff hiding it almost perfectly. “Um…” her words wavered as he rubbed gently, just barely grazing her nub with his pointer, the lace of her panties adding extra, effective friction. “We’ve been together for about a year.”

A slight tugging on Y/n’s thigh was enough of an instruction for her to uncross her legs, parting them slightly. Under the security of the pristine white tablecloth, John pushed aside the crotch of her panties, rubbing Y/n’s cilt slowly with the ‘v’ of his index and middle fingers. Once again startled, she glanced his way, but he merely offered. Her swollen bud throbbed beneath his expert touch and Y/n had to hide the moan that threatened to escape her matted-burgundy painted lips with a lengthy drag of her wine. Her breath shuddered as she set the glass down, quickly looking to John, who'd already rekindled conversation with the older couple, seemingly unaffected by her plight.

Her eyes stayed trained on his side profile though her attention waned; John's handsome features blurring as her orbs glazed over with desire. By then, it wasn't hard to identify the distinct pink hue standing out on her otherwise flushed cheeks and the absence of focus was blatant. The more prolonged John's ministrations became, the closer Y/n got to her tipping point. Just out of the corner of her faulty vision, Y/n could see when John carelessly let the fabric napkin fall over his hardened crotch, the creases and haphazardness of the eggshell material masking his hard on. 

Another hitch of her breath came when one of John’s fingers slid further into her drenched heat, her posture, maybe thankfully, not allowing him access to her entrance. Though, John had a solution for everything, no mind how harsh or abrupt it may be, “Well, Ellis, Lauren,” he cleared his throat, pretending to check his watch. A waiter had just cleared their plates and had promised to be back soon with a desert menu, “I think we’ve covered a lot tonight, but Y/n and I have an early start tomorrow,” for the first time in a while, he removed his fingers, dragging them along her inner thigh, messily spreading her slickness. Now hot, bothered and still in the middle of a packed restaurant, Y/n could quickly feel herself growing frustrated at the loss of contact, ready to grab her clutch off its resting place on the table as John signaled a waiter, handing over a business card and requesting that the final bill be sent to his office. Y/n doubted that it was something the establishment regularly did, but there wasn’t a soul willing to deny John Wick. Besides, if he said he was going to pay, there wasn’t a bit of doubt that he wouldn’t. John was a man of his word. 

After they’d bid their companions goodnight and safe travels, John led Y/n out of the restaurant, holding onto her into her light petite coat as the valet brought around his navy Maserati, the dark coat shining even in their dimmed surroundings. John, as Y/n had learnt, was quite the car enthusiast and he’d collected quite a few over the years, enough to supply a small dealership, with almost everything from prized, classic muscle cars and widely adored classics to flashy sports cars and of course, some more sophisticated ones. 

After they’d gotten in, John had tossed her coat to the back seat and then peeled away from the curb, navigating the car onto the busy street, easily weaving through the thinning traffic. Stealing a glace, Y/n found that John’s expression wasn’t readily readable, though, when, not too long after they’d left, he turned into a deserted, poorly lit, damp alleyway between a shady Chinese restaurant and a low grade department store, she got a pretty clear idea of he wanted. “Do you know how fucking sexy you look in that dress babygirl?” His question strained and mumbled as John undid his seat belt and used the lever beneath his seat to push it back a little. Excitement had Y/n breathing heavily, and she didn’t think to answer his question. “Didn’t I ask you something?” He probed roughly, undoing the belt, button and zipper on his black slacks.

“I don’t know,” she breathed, blushing and blinking quickly, her stomach fluttered when John reached over to undo her seat belt, easily manhandling her over the console and into his lap.

“Well let me show you,” he grunted, grabbing her hand and shoving into his undone pants, over his erection, gasping quietly at the distinct firmness overtaking his member, “See what you do to me? This is all you baby,” he whispered harshly, catching her ear lobe between his teeth. 

The alluring aroma of fine wine and musky cologne clouded her senses and Y/n’s breath hitch, the sound quiet, and pitched. “Sir,” she moaned, eyes wide and pupils lust blown as her hand lingered in John’s pants long after he’d stopped applying pressure. 

John trailed feverish kisses down the column of her neck, high on the scent of her perfume, occasionally alternating between lapping his tongue over her vein and nibbling her skin. He was definitely going to leave marks, claiming her as his own. As his mouth ravaged her throat, John fiddled with the thin straps of her dress, letting them slip carelessly down the curve of her shoulders, eventually urging her arms out of them and pushing the top down, exposing her breasts, pushed together enticingly by a simple, cream colored strapless bra. “I want you to ride my cock,” John’s fingers slid up her body, thumbs brushing the smooth, stain covered padding over her nipples, before easily undoing the front clasp and freeing her full, voluptuous breasts, “Now,” he growled, pushing aside the crotch of her flimsy thong, his digits brushing the lips of her swollen, soaked pussy.

With anxious hands, Y/n helped John shove his pants down to the area right above his knees, “Come on,” he slouched further into the leather stead in an instant, John’s hands were up her dress, holding her hips in place as she eased down on him. Feeling how he bottomed out inside her, stretching her tightness so wide it burned, Y/n’s head lolled back, squeezing her eyes shut as her loud moan bounced off the windows. “Move, now,” he managed through his clenched jaw after he’d given Y/n a minute to adjust. 

Desperate, filthy mewls swirled in the heavy air around them, joining John’s languid grunts as his hips rose to meet hers. Each time Y/n came down on him, her bouncing erratic and harsh, her core slapped his balls, rendering loud, wet, perverted sounds. “Sir,” her breathy cries were the only interruptions of her heady noises.

"Fuck," John hissed, just before taking one of her breasts in his mouth, his tongue swirling around her pebbled nipple and one hand sliding up her back, pressing her chest to his face, "Faster," he urged.

Y/n's eager hands slid up John's chest, the material of his grey button up smooth under her palm, his carnal heat seeping through. She settled them beneath the lapels of his tailored, black blazer, bunching the fabric up in her fingers as she quickened her pace with renewed vigor. 

The tinted windows around them fogged over and the purring of the engine fell on deaf ears. John could feel her nails digging into his skin, even through his shirt and the throbbing veins running up his shaft offered Y/n an irresistible friction. Every time she came up, only to sink back down on him, John’s swollen tip reaching her end, Y/n could feel herself drawing closer to the edge. “Please,” she whimpered, pleading for John to permit her release.

John’s hips  jerked upwards to slam into Y/n’s center, the remaining hand caught under her dress now aggressively squeezing and kneading her ass. The other violently grabbed a fistful of her head, rearing her head further back so John could ravish her neck without resistance, “Do it,” he commanded between skin pulling bites, “I want to feel your cunt squeezing my cock. You’re my little bitch and I need to feel you cum.”

Before long, Y/n was shuddering; her legs straddling John stiffening and her pussy convulsing as warm juices gushed from her center. Her gasps were broken and her breaths ragged as Y/n’s eyes rolled back and her hold on John’s now wrinkled shirt loosened. With a slackened jaw, the rest of her body went limp and John was the one still moving, though, his thrusts rigid. 

The feeling of Y/n milking his cock entwined by the ecstasy that always accompanied being buried deep inside her was pleasurably unmatched and soon, John was following her to release, “Fuck Y/n,” he sputtered, slowing his movement as he spurted bursts of hot seed inside of her, their products mixing as it seeped out, coating Y/n’s thighs and dripping onto his.

It took awhile for their breaths to slow and for any sense of coherence to make its way back into the stilling running car, and even after; they lingered, John’s now flaccid cock still cocooned in her settled center. When he finally guided her off him, John used tissues from the glove compartment to clean Y/n up as she still sat in his lap, and she let him readjust her dress, forgoing her bra, instead just pulling the straps over her arms. When he set her back in the passenger seat, Y/n winced, though she wasn’t half as sore as she’d usually be after sessions with John, when he had more room and time to work with. In fact, hot, spontaneous moments like that one were rare, which arguably only made them more enjoyable.

Except, that night, as Y/n silently watched John clean himself up, his expression stoic, as it typically was, she couldn’t help but feel a little dirty, and not just in a physical way. That dinner hadn’t been her best one with him, she didn’t particularly enjoy seeing him as the villain, willing to desecrate the name of a dead man. Logically, she knew that it was the job, and someone had to do it, but being that good at it? It took guts and a certain kind of coldness that frightened her. 

And then, of course, there was the typical issue of their otherwise unattached status. Because, as scary as John was when he was in his element, she still found herself falling deeper and deeper in love with him, which wasn’t exactly ideal, considering the more she fell, the more it hurt when she remembered that she was just his sub. It was confusing, but mostly it hurt.

The drive back to Y/n’s place was without conversation, though, when John parked on the curb and Y/n had gathered her stuff, namely her purse with generous bits of her bra sticking out the top and her coat draped over it, John grabbed her leg before she could get out, “Do you have vacation days?”

“Yes,” she nodded firmly, intrigued though not daring to say anything further.

“How many?” John’s eyes were void of anything telling and he wasn’t going to give her more without Y/n’s compliance.

“A month.”

“Good,” John reclaimed his hand, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and his fingers going to dance on the unlocked, brightened screen. He didn’t look at her again, leaving her bewildered as he came out and jogged to her side, opening the door for her. John helped her out of the car, and with a hand low on her back, he walked to the front double doors of the building, holding one side open but making no move to go in himself. “I want you to take two weeks,” he said, putting his cell away, “I’m taking you to a summer home in North Carolina. Abigail will book a jet for Sunday afternoon, call your boss and tell him you won’t be in on Monday,” and before Y/n could protest that she actually needed to give H.R. a month’s notice, John intervened, “If he gives you any trouble, let me know and I'll talk to him, okay?” By ‘talk to him’, it was quite possible that he meant bullying her boss into giving her the time off without consequence.

“Yes,” her lips quivered in surprise, and Y/n nodded again, “Okay.”

“Okay,” John repeated, stiffly reaching across to peck the side of her lips, “I’ll send you the flight details, and I’ll taking you shopping tomorrow afternoon,” when Y/n agreed, they exchanged pleasant good-nights and John finally let Y/n go, secretly hoping that their trip would do them both some good in terms of their upcoming discussion. 

******

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @magnificentclodpiebanana   @keandrews @greenmanalishi  @rdjloverxxx​  @danceoftwowolves​

[everrealmdweller]

“Movin’ On Up” Episode Review

So I’m still laughing my face off. How did this episode manage to be so funny yet also deal with very serious issues and big life changes for the main characters? I don’t know. All I know is I’m left with a mixture of bittersweet feelings that can only be cured by watching Esteban throw a potted plant out the window.

Add this scene to one of my very favorites! The episode opens with Elena using her scepter’s vanish power to mess with Mateo, and she is having WAY too much fun with it lol. Poor Mateo can’t figure out what’s going on; his child-like innocence is so endearing. But my favorite part has got to be when Esteban come over and tells Elena she’s being very immature then proceeds to encourage her antics even further. This scene overall is just way to freaking funny, and I love the goofy, trouble-maker cousin dynamic going on. 

After revealing herself as the culprit to a very confused Mateo, Elena comments that he’s working in the palace late at night, again. Apparently this is becoming a regular thing. So she shows him the royal wizard quarters in the palace and asks him if he wants to stay there.

Mateo’s reaction is freaking adorable. He can’t even contain his excitement, just like a little kid XD. He soon realizes, however, that that would mean leaving his mom, and she couldn’t handle that. Elena, always having the best and most sound advice, asks him if this is what he wants and assures him that his mom loves him and will understand his decision. 

So that night Mateo talks to his mom, and she seems to be excited for him to move into the wizard quarters. Mateo can’t believe how easy that was until...

Surprise! Rafa thinks she’s moving in too XD, though it’s not very funny for Mateo or any of the castle staff. 

I’m not sure if Rafa was always this overbearing at home with Mateo (chore chart, posture/grammar corrections, constant snacks) or if she’s overcompensating because he now lives in an environment she doesn’t control (though the second option seems likely to me). She begins to quickly drive everyone mad by changing everything around and treating poor Mateo like a five-year-old. Elena keeps telling Mateo (she really is good at giving advice) that he needs to be honest and tell his mom how he feels, but he just can’t seem to do it, or even get a word in edgewise around Rafa.

Olivia’s back!! Yay! Her training seems to be going really well, and she can even manage a tamborita now!

Anyways, eventually Rafa takes it a step too far, coming to bother Mateo in the workshop. She keeps giving Olivia and Mateo snacks, which is a no-no in the wizard workshop. Elena to the rescue as she drags Rafa off on a tour of the palace to give Mateo a break (That “I’ve got this”  wink though XD).

Mateo: ”My mom is driving me--” 

Rafa: “Nuts?”

Comedic timing at it’s finest XD. 

But, Rafa! I am very allergic to those! So please don’t shove them in my face like that XD.

By now Rafa has driven the whole castle completely insane, and Mateo finally does it. He goes to his mom and tells her he’s ready to live on his own. He was so brave; he was so kind and caring yet stood his ground. I’m so proud of him, but...

She says NO???!! I was honestly not expecting that. She straight up tells him she’s never going to let him live his own life. Mateo and I were both shocked.

Confession time: Rafa’s behavior in this episode really bothered me. Like a lot. What a scary concept, that you would never be allowed to grow up, to make your own decisions, and build a life for yourself. Some of the things Rafa said even low-key remind me of Mother Gothel. For example, telling Mateo the world was too dangerous for him, saying he couldn’t survive without her, even the title of the song “Never Get Away” is ominous. In a way, Mateo is being trapped and held back from the world and his future in the same way Rapunzel was.

To be fair, unlike Gothel, Rafa actually loves her son, but can’t she see her behavior is damaging to him?

Rafa inadvertently ends up releasing the Kupi-Kupi, a troublesome magical creature, by placing a picture frame SPECIFICALLY WHERE MATEO TOLD HER NOT TO. Ugh, this is so frustrating. In trying to fix it, Rafa only makes it worse by using Mateo’s tamborita. Poor Esteban, Armando, and Elena end up running backwards around the palace thanks to the Kupi-Kupi’s powers. Eventually, thanks to Mateo’s fabulous wizard tricks, the Kupi-Kupi is trapped back in the book it came from.

After seeing Mateo’s heroics and realizing that she was at fault for releasing the Kupi-Kupi, Rafa finally sees that she needs to let Mateo go. In a beautiful mother-son moment, Mateo thanks Rafa for being such a great loving mom and Rafa recognizes him as an incredible grown individual ready to face the world.

“Everything I am is because of you.”

“No, you did this all on your own.”

It’s an amazing moment of character growth for Rafa and shows the strength of the bond she and Mateo share, even though their relationship is changing. And I hope in time she realizes that just because she doesn’t live with Mateo anymore, doesn’t mean they aren’t connected and there for each other.

The episode ends with Mateo enjoying his new home and independence. He and Elena watch contently out the window as a new chapter of Mateo’s life begins.

I wanted to note that in some ways this episode reminds me of “Captain Turner Returns” and “Olaball,” which focused on Naomi’s and Gabe’s relationships with their parents respectively. In all of these Elena plays a role of pushing her friend to tell his/her parent(s) the truth about how he/she feels. Also, Mateo, Naomi, and Gabe all had trouble talking to their parent(s) because they kept talking over them and not really paying attention to what they wanted. All of these character’s parents are very different but have the same struggle with listening to what their child wants and respecting it.

Lastly, I wanted to mention that I LOVE the subplot of this episode with Esteban trying desperately to get rid of Rafa’s hideous houseplant. In the end she forgets it at the palace, and in the last shot we see him chuck it out the window. Oh, Esteban, I love your dramatic side so much. XD

[solemncadaver]

Friendsim Trolls According to my Girlfriend who hasn’t played Friendsim

Ardata (Cobalt): w... who took bites out of her horns? Can and will kill you in your sleep. Plotting evil plans 23/7 (the 24th hour is for drinking coffee with LOTS of milk and sugar)

Diemen (Rust): Always eating food (why is that hot dog bun GREEN-), will never call you by your name, only nicknames like bro, dude, man etc, probably owns a skateboard but can't drive it

Cirava (Gold): Oo funky! Has a horrible backstory and doesn't talk about it EVER, is chill all the time, likes 70s-80s fashion and actually wears it with style! Is as extra as the fact they've got 4 horns

Amisia (Indigo): definitely an artist! The "weird kid", has not slept in 5 days because she just HAD to finish that one painting, cuts her own hair with scissors not meant for cutting hair yet it looks amazingly good! Probably either super pure and nice or will kill you if you breathe in her direction

Bronya (Jade): The cool big sister, helps you do your makeup and dye your hair, if you hurt one of her friends those boots will land in your face, probably has a tumblr with aesthetic images

Skylla (Bronze): Yeehaw howdy pardner! Isn't only from a ranch, she OWNS one! Can and will punch you for no reason, makes you do her chores if you wanna stay at her place, has never seen a hairbrush in her life

Tagora (Teal): Tries his best to be edgy and frightening, sometimes almost fails at that, could be in one of those "barber: say no more fam" memes, thinks he's an evil overlord but is actually just a delinquent, probably doesn't get a redemption arc and only like 2 people are mad about that

Vikare (Bronze): Wants to be a pilot/is a pilot but DON'T TRUST THEM WITH AN AIRPLANE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, pretends wearing that pilot hat is a fashion choice when in reality they can't take it off again with those horns, nobody has ever seen them sleep and people are concerned

Polypa (Olive): The most feral being (or she fell down the stairs and is mad about it), problems balancing with only one eye able to see, could claw out your heart and not bat an eye, the hole in her horn is from when someone tried to take her out, nobody has ever seen that person afterwards

Zebruh (Indigo): Looks like an ASSHOLE. What are his horns doing they're not pointed that's not how horns should work, very smug! Has a shitty job and is pretentious about it to people w/o a job, looks like the cryptic bartender in a stereotypical drama thriller that the detective has to interview to know who killed the rich guy's wife

Elwurd (Cobalt): Look at those extra af horns! Def owns a motorcycle, flirty but has never received actual affection, has a mental breakdown every 2 days but pretends EVERYTHING'S FINE, makes 5 puns a minute

Folykl & Kuprum (Gold): What a goal: Carry your bud around in your giant ass backpack! I......don't know who is who tbh but! They both have cool spider looking horns! The best evidence for 'opposites attract', the only friends they have are each other, secretly planning to overthrow the government

Remele (Cobalt): The x on her left eye symbolizes that she has found her next victim. It's you. Run. Could probably use her horn as a climbing hook, v passive aggressive, makes her own clothes, works out a lot and is stronger than she looks

Konyyl (Olive): My fight, flight or flirt instincts have been activated. Could snap you in half by looking at you yet can be super soft if she wants to (you gotta be REAL close to her though), likes matcha ice cream and yells at it when it melts, is NOT tidy

Chixie (Bronze): Shy babey. Will probably be interrupted 3 times when trying to speak because she's just so quiet, has been left on her own and now has no idea how to survive yet is too shy to ask for the way. Someone come help her please.

Tyzias (Teal): Bored college student. Will NOT help you in an emergency so don't even ask. Secretly likes cryptids, is Done (tm), nobody has ever seen her outside of campus, roasts people in the most monotone voice ever

Chahut (Purple): F-... fear ':)? Eh, that's probably just paint! Right? Right???... Is probably being forced to do horrible things, can't remember their childhood, looks scary but only unintentionally, I'd still smooch tbh

Azdaja (Gold): Reminds me of that ching prince from FMA:B tbh, has a weird aesthetic going on, has the upper hand everywhere without trying, probably has 3 fake names, is always cool but can slip up and make goofy remarks

Zebede (Gold): Smol round boi! Probably played soccer in 5th grade, now makes v interesting and functional machines from Lego, probably owned a pet hamster at some point, has no sense of danger

Tegiri (Teal): Is that a KATANA-.... Still not out of his weeb phase, is VERY devoted to his aesthetic, talks either in one word sentences or dramatic quotes from a show nobody has seen, shop owner who sells you weapons

Mallek (Cobalt): Oh look it your hubby! He looks like a trickster tbh yet all the fanart looks sweet and pure!? (Also how do you pierce horns-) how many piercings has he though? Is there fanart- 👀... anyways he kinda looks like the popular kid and the emo kid combined, but like in a good way!?! Probably has a secret key for the whole town that he shouldn't have, can store everything in that hoodie pocket (it's like Hermione's bag :3!)

Lynera (Jade): Looks like the weird art/music teacher, v nice though! Has a lot of weird hobbies that her friends politely decline to join, likes to bake for everyone, likes children or absolutely loathes them

Galekh (Indigo): Is this Roman from Sanders Sides? Jdhdkd he looks like the strict angry teacher, will absolutely refuse giving help and does not allow any flaws (both in you and in himself) can spot someone doing illegal things from a mile away, is not afraid to call people out

Tirona (Teal): Look at that spider hair! Looks good 👉👉, is probs v shy and awkward but tries to talk to everyone anyways, has some exotic pets that she doesn't tell anyone about bc someone once said it's weird, just wants to be accepted, clumsy af

Boldir (Olive): Hiding ..... something ...., private but not stealthy investigator, is distracted way too easily, is the detective I mentioned back at Zebruh's, v loyal, will absolutely get you arrested if you're *in the way*

Stelsa (Teal): Looks like a cool but bitchy mom, probably gets a manicure every week, she looks just like my mom which is scary wth, will not hesitate to roast Karen at the school bake sale, those lemon bars are horrible KAREN, why didn't you let your third husband help K A R E N

Karako (Purple): What- ?

I-.... I'm confused! But okay!

Never makes sense, nobody has ever seen them eat or sleep, appears in your room at 2 am when you have sleep paralysis

Marsti (Rust): Probably is like the classic mechanic, can weld 👌👏👉👉👍, is done with everyone's bullshit but will still try to help (occasionally), drinks too many energy drinks and not enough water, everyone asks her for favors and she is having none of it

Charun (Olive): Peaceful gardener, don't stand in their sun and they won't bother whatever you do, just wants a little farm house near a small town with his pet cat, don't walk on their vegetables or they'll chase you with a rake

Wanshi (Jade): Just a nice person. A total sweetheart. Just wants to have fun, very optimistic, the most functional person you'll ever meet, drinks a lot of green tea and hot chocolate

Fozzer (Rust): Nice person but not very bright, doesn't know how electronics work, has a flip phone from like 2006 and that's enough for him, has a lot of houseplants but can't really keep them alive

Marvus (Purple): 👀👀👀 You know how I think about him (😭🍀😏😎🍀💖🌾❤ 11/10 best ti🅱🅱y window would allow him to stab me)

Daraya (Jade): Smol but will fight you. Is super done and will not help you, but also won't stop you. Probably has 2-4 knifes somewhere on her body at all time.

Nihkee (Indigo): Looks like a pirate captain + professional wrestler in one, like! Probably drinks their coffee black just so people respect them more, will show off every trophy they have (a lot) if someone decides to listen to them

Lanque (Jade): 👀👀👀👍 the most dramatic and salty being alive, v stylish, takes 2 hours a day just to get ready, probably has 16 meetings a day, could work as a model, will cut anyone and everyone that says he should change something about him

Soleil (Purple): Ah yes, the obligatory twins. Probably cursed by a spiteful witch at birth, have never been seen seperate, occasionally like to scare people by pretending to be the twins from shining

I’m crying

[determination-and-familiars]

A New Friend

Well, it took me five months to finally start writing this out, but that’s far better than the three years and never actually getting any results to another AU from another fandom. So five months is a vast improvement over my awful laziness.

This is the very start of my Undertale AU that this blog is actually based around. 

It’s under a readmore because it’s over 3,000 words and to not would just be cruel.

     Frisk gave one more glance across her room. One last check to make sure she had everything ready. There were large bags of fertilizer in the far corner, a watering can, a large tub of dirt, a trowel and a few smaller flowerpots. Yeah. That should do it. Grabbing one of the pots and the trowel, Frisk placed them in a backpack before heading downstairs.

     “Mom, I’ll be back in a bit, just going to get a friend!” Frisk raced out of the house before her mother could even respond.

     The sun was beginning to dip below the trees, giving everything a slight orange hue.

     Sprinting down the road, Frisk only slowed when she finally reached the forest. Not wanting to trip and fall again, the girl made her way carefully through the twisting branches and vines, stopping only when she reached a familiar pit.

     This time she searched around the hole, finding a thick tree root sticking out of the dirt and descending into the darkness below. That must have been what she tripped on before. Frisk gave the root a tug. It seemed pretty stuck in there. She’d survived the fall unharmed before, sure, but climbing down would be better.

     Turning around, Frisk began to lower herself into the hole, holding onto the root until her knuckles whitened. As she descended, Frisk felt eyes watching her. That feeling was soon joined by a familiar high pitched and slightly distorted voice.

     “The root’s gunna end.”

     Huh? Sure enough, the root she was climbing down began getting too thin to support the girl’s weight.

     Sighing, Frisk glanced down over her shoulder. It wasn’t that far. Moving one hand to hold her glasses on, she let go with the other.

     Moments later, green vines shot up from the ground below, wrapping tightly around Frisk. She sucked in a small startled gasp, looking down to find the golden flower glaring up at her. “What kind of reckless freak are you?” His vines began to lower her down.

     She just smiled down at him. “Wow, thanks for the catch, Flowey!”

     When she was about a foot above the ground, the vines released her, and slithered back underground. She landed with a thud on her rear. Not the best but a lot better than the full fall.

     “It’s been a month, what are you doing down here again?”

     The smile dropped from her face as she stayed on the ground next to the flower, only shifting to a more comfortable position. “I’m sorry it took me so long. I meant to come back down sooner. It’s … not easy being ambassador for everyone.”

     Flowey rolled his eyes. “What’d you expect? You brought a bunch of monsters up to a place they’d been banished from.” He then narrowed his eyes. “And I don’t need your pity-visits. I’m fine here on my own! If you came for that, you wasted a trip!” After a moment, his irritated glare, shifted into a twisted and fanged grin. “Or wait, it’s too challenging isn’t it? ~ You came back down here to reset, didn’t you? ~”

     “No, I’m not resetting. “

     Flowey’s toothy smirk fell into a grimace. “Then you wasted your time, go away.”

     Frisk sighed, giving the blossom a tired smile, before shrugging off her backpack. “Actually, I – just hear me out ok? – I have a question for you.” Flowey blinked slowly with pure impatience, though he stayed quiet. “I didn’t come down just to visit you. I was hoping,” Frisk unzipped the bag and pulled out the flowerpot. “You’d come with me?”

     “No.” Flowey’s petals flattened, and reminded her of an angry cat. Frisk opened her mouth but Flowey beat her to it. “I said no! Didn’t you listen to what I said before or are you deaf as well as dumb? I said to just forget about me! I can’t be him anymore!” Sharp red thorns began protruding from Flowey’s stem, as well as the few vines Frisk suddenly felt wrapping around her. Tightly. “I will never be him again!” Frisk winced as the thorns pierced her skin. “I don’t have a soul! I had one! I had many!” Flowey continued to squeeze Frisk tighter with his vines. “I gave them up so everyone could see the stupid surface! I--”

     “I didn’t come down here for him!” Frisk finally shouted. Flowey’s crushing paused, though he didn’t loosen his grip or even withdraw his thorns. “I came down here for you, Flowey. The little flower that greeted me when I first fell down here!”

     “That was a trick to kill you and steal your soul.”

     “I know. But you were still the first one I met down here.” Ignoring the pain of thorns digging into her sides, Frisk smiled at the flower who clearly didn’t expect her to smile at a time like this. “While we’re being honest here, it was actually your motto of ‘it’s kill or be killed’ that made me want to find an ‘option c.’ And I did! – We did! Together! We freed everyone after so many years of being trapped underground!”

     The thorns finally retracted and the vines slinked back underground. Frisk couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

     “…All of that was just because I told you it was kill or be killed?” He was staring at her hard, as if trying to read her face.

     Frisk nodded. “I was scared and didn’t really know what to do. That gave me something to focus on. It’s harder to be afraid when you have a goal to work towards.”

     Flowey turned away, falling silent. Frisk took this moment to peek inside her sweater to see how bad the thorn cuts were. There were little red dots across her chest, but luckily they weren’t leaking too much. The sound of a throat clearing caused Frisk to snap her head back up and let go of the top of her shirt.

     “Why do you want to bring me to the surface?”

     A wide grin spread over Frisk’s face. This was progress! “A couple reasons! For starters: if we can free an entire civilisation, imagine what other amazing things we can accomplish together!” Her grin faltered a little, but didn’t fall completely. “But also, you said I took the power to reset from you. So you know what it’s like: to die and be able to come back. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about that who gets it.”

     It was Flowey’s turn to sigh, but he didn’t deny it would be nice to talk to someone who understands. Frisk waited patiently until the flower finally spoke again. “There’s going to be some ground rules.” Frisk beamed and nodded. “No one finds out who I was. He’s dead. And it’s going to stay that way. As far as you’re aware I am and always have been just Flowey. I don’t have to spend time with anyone I don’t want to. If I need to be alone for a while, my privacy is respected. And …” Flowey turned away. “…Don’t be surprized when I mess up everyone’s happy ending.” A hand with the pinky extended moved into his line of vision. “What are you doing?”

     “It’s a pinky-promise. The strongest form of promising someone can make. Breaking it is the worst thing that can be done to someone.”

     Flowey let out a dry snort. “I think I can think of a few worse things.” He gave the human a side-glance. “Aren’t you going to set any ground rules for me?”

     Frisk blinked, keeping her pinky out. “I guess, don’t kill anyone, and just … be yourself.” She gave his stem a gentle poke with her pinky. “c’mooon.”

     Flowey’s small black eyes darted from her face to her hand and back up. Finally a vine slithered from the ground and wrapped around the finger. Frisk closed her pinky as best she could around his vine, giving a joyful giggle. “You’re so weird.” After a moment he pulled his vine back.

     “I know.” Frisk reached for the flowerpot she must have dropped at some point, but nearly jumped when her phone blasted to life, ringtone filling the small cavern. Fishing her phone out of her pocket she swiped to answer. “Hello?”

     The voice that came through was loud enough for both to hear and caused Frisk to pull the phone away from her ear. “Franziska! It’s after dark, where are you?!”

     Moving the phone back to her ear, Frisk responded. “I know mom, sorry, I’m heading back now. I’ll see you soon – yes, love you too, bye.” She hit the button to hang up. “Huh, I didn’t think the signal would reach down here.”

     “Franziska? I thought you said your name was Frisk.”

     She turned back to the flower who was tilting his head a little to the side. “It is. Well, it’s more of a favoured nickname since ‘Franziska’ sounds too … formal.” For what seemed like the hundredth time that night she grinned down at Flowey. “I guess we both have our preferred names.” He nodded in understanding at that. Another similarity. Frisk shoved her phone back in her pocket. “We should go before she organizes a search party. It turns out if your daughter goes missing for a few days and shows up with a large group of monsters rumoured to be dangerous it makes a mom worry. If there’s anything you want to bring with you, you can put it in here.” Frisk held open her knapsack. “Tomorrow I’ll get you a set of drawers you can keep your things in.”

     “I don’t have any… Wait. I do.” Flowey disappeared underground.

     Frisk stood and brushed the dirt from her legs and clothes while she waited for him to return, hoping that he would.

     A moment later he did. Frisk picked up her bag and held it open for him. Flowey shoved a rolled up green and yellow stripped sweater wrapped around something shiny into the bag.

     Setting the bag down, Frisk picked up the flowerpot. “I forgot how long your vines are, you might not actually fit in this.”

     Flowey snickered. “I make them larger with magic. Only can in dirt.” He paused. “But I’m not going into it. I’m not a houseplant.”

     Frisk raised an eyebrow. “But you are a flower, don’t you need dirt?”

     “I’m fine for a few hours out of it.” Grabbing the pot with a vine, he shoved it back into her bag.

     Zipping the bag closed, Frisk slung it back over her shoulders. “If you’re sure. Ready to go?” She fished her phone back out of her pocket.

     “How-Who are you calling?”

     “Sans, he can telepo-Hey!” A vine wrapped around her phone and shoved it back into her pocket before she could even finish the sentence. Before she could say anything else, more vines sprouted from the ground and wrapped around her middle. Frisk was lifted until she was able to grab the tree root from before. The vines then unwound and sunk back down into the soil. Frisk looked over her shoulder. “How are you going to get up?”

     Her question was answered as Flowey began digging his way up the wall. He climbed it like a ladder: digging his vines in, pulling himself up, and then reaching up to repeat the action. Once he reached the root, he climbed onto Frisk’s shoulder, carefully pulling his own roots free. Wrapping his now much smaller vines around her arm, Flowey glanced back down, and then turned to face her. “Alright, go.” He then fell silent, letting the girl focus on climbing out of the hole.

     Once out, Flowey looked around. “It’s dark. I think there’s more light in the ruins.”

     “It’s night.” Frisk pulled her phone out. “Don’t worry, not calling anyone.” Hitting a few buttons, the phone’s light flashed on. Using it, Frisk made her way slowly through the woods.

     “…Frisk?”

     Frisk side-glanced to the flower perched on her shoulder like an awkward parrot. “Yeah?”

     “I meant to ask before but… when did you get glasses?”

     She giggled softly, turning back to the woods ahead. “Pretty much my whole life. They broke the first time I fell. I had to squint to try and even make anyone out.”

     “That’s why you were making such a dumb face?! That must be why you were so bad at dodging.”

     “Yeah…” Frisk sighed. She chose to ignore the ‘dumb’ comment.

     Flowey snickered. “Staggering around like an idiot, blind as a bat!”

     Frisk didn’t respond, paying more attention to getting out of the woods rather than getting lost.

     After what felt like a week, Frisk finally found the road. Flowey had been making fun of her the entire time. She glanced up, and then smirked at the flower. Perfect! She knew a way to get him to quit teasing. “Hey Flowey, look up,” Frisk said, turning off the flashlight.

     “Why?” Though he did. Flowey’s little black eyes widened. It was a clear night and now that they were out from under all of those trees, a sea of stars could be seen, going on and on and on. Flowey could only stare, mouth open slightly.

     Frisk smirked. Yep, that got him to quit the rude comments. Frisk continued walking home while Flowey just kept staring up.

     “It’s like that room in Waterfall but … more. It’s like this every night?”

     “Sometimes it’s cloudy but on clear nights – like tonight – yeah.” Finally reaching and heading into her house, Flowey kept looking up until he was forced to stop once a roof was over his head. Flowey grumbled in annoyance, though he let his gaze wonder boredly around the house.

     Frisk called out. “Mom, I’m back, I brought my friend.”

     A blonde, blue-eyed woman in casual and yet still tailored, professional clothes, walked out of a side room. She smiled warmly. “Good. I’m sorry dear, after what happened I can’t help … but… worry.” Halfway through her sentence, her eyes fell on the sentient flower perched on her daughter’s shoulder. “Your …. friend?”

     Flowey’s eyes narrowed at the tone she used.

     Acting fast, Frisk forced a smile, and held the hand Flowey wasn’t wrapped around just under him. “This is Flowey!” Her hand moved to gesture to her mother. “Flowey, this is my mom, Luna.”

     “It’s a … plant.”

     Oh dear. Before Frisk could say anything Flowey shifted his face to something creepier: larger pure black eyes with little red pupils and fangs. He then hissed.

     Her mother’s eyes widened in alarm while Frisk did her best to hide Flowey’s sudden demonic face behind her hands. “Mom, he’s my friend – and also the reason I was able to come home! Please be nice.” Frisk began inching towards the stairs, before sprinting up them. As she darted into her room, she called down: “’Night mom, see you tomorrow!” Frisk shut the door with a sigh before glancing at the growling flower on her shoulder. “Easy there, Flowey.”

     Flowey glared at Frisk. “I’m not an it!”

      “I know, I’m sorry. She just needs time to get used to you. She’s still getting used to the others.” Frisk hesitated for a moment before reaching up to softly pat the flower just behind the petals. Flowey froze at the light touch before narrowing his eyes even further, however he didn’t yell at her to stop. “She’s …. iffy about monsters. She also calls the others ‘it’s. Once she gets to know you, she’ll warm up to you. I know she will.”

     Flowey’s face finally shifted back to normal. He still looked annoyed but at least the anger had subsided.  Turning his attention to the room, Flowey climbed down Frisk and began exploring and snooping around the room. Anything he could poke his vines into, he did.  

     Frisk took her bag off and walked over to the tub of dirt. Unzipping the bag she set it down next to it. Turning around, she caught sight of vines disappearing under her bed. Frisk giggled before full on laughing.

     A golden petal-framed face poked out from under the bed. He was raising an eyebrow. “What the heck’s so funny?”

     Frisk tried to wave her hand dismissively while she continued to erupt with bubbly giggles. Finally she managed “I-I’ve got a monster under my bed!”

     Flowey only blinked at her, not getting the apparent joke. “Humans are weird.” While Frisk attempted to regain her composure, Flowey crawled out from under the bed. Scuttling across the floor, the blossom investigated the tub of dirt. The container was large enough to hold ten of him, far better than that tiny flowerpot Frisk had shown him in the underground.

     Dipping one of his roots into it, Flowey’s face scrunched up. It felt nice and cool but there was something … off about it. Not enough to keep him from sinking the rest of his roots into, but still weird.

     By then Frisk’s giggles had finally died down, so she crouched next to the flower climbing into the dirt. “Everything ok?”

     “What kind of dirt is this?”

     “It’s fertilizer!” Frisk grabbed one of the bags to show him.

     Scanning the bag, Flowey let out a horrified gasp when he found the ingredients. “There’s poop in this?!”

     “It’s been treated!” Frisk said quickly. “It’s really good for plants! And look!” She pointed out some of the other ingredients. “All the vitamins growing boys need!” Flowey growled. “And I mean regular dirt is worm poop and that’s not even been treated, just straight worm poop!”

     Flowey’s face showed pure disgust. “Ew! You’re just saying that! That’s a lie!”

     “Nu-uh! It’s true!” Frisk sighed. “Alright how about this, it’s late now, so please put up with it for tonight and tomorrow we can go look for a type without that ingredient. They DO make pure chemical kinds, I just didn’t want that kind making you sick, and this really is healthy for plants. What if you woke up tomorrow 20 feet tall with leaves!”

     Flowey narrowed his eyes and bent down over the dirt. He sniffed it. “It doesn’t smell bad, just like regular dirt…” It was more a comment to himself than to Frisk. She watched him debate his options for a moment before a thought came to her.

     “Hey Flowey?” Frisk asked, causing the flower to look up at her. “Are you able to eat food?”

     Flowey nodded. “You better feed me while I’m up here.”

     Frisk beamed down at him. “Great! Tomorrow after we pick out better fertilizer for you I’m gunna get us some pizza!”

     Flowey raised an eyebrow, though didn’t bother asking. Instead he turned back down to the fertilizer he was in. He glared at it for a while before shutting his eyes and sighing. “Fine. I’ll stay here tonight.” Frisk smiled and reached down to softly pat the top of his head. A vine lifted from the soil and pushed her hand away. “Stop.”

     Frisk pulled her hand back. “Sorry. No more headpats.” Standing up, Frisk stretched her arms above her head. Heading to her closet she pulled out a light blue night-dress. “I’ll be back in a bit.” Leaving her room, Frisk went to go change and brush her teeth in the bathroom.

     Flowey shifted around in the soil, getting himself comfortable, before reaching a vine into the backpack. Leaving the locket, he pulled out the sweater and slithered into it popping his head out of the neck hole, letting the rest drape over him like a blanket. He then folded up the sleeves to make a pillow. Once satisfied he curled up in the dirt, resting his head on the makeshift pillow.

     Soon Frisk returned, dropping the clothes she had been wearing in her laundry basket. Glancing over at Flowey it took a lot of Determination to not comment on how adorable he looked snuggling into the sweater like a kitten.

     Closing the bedroom door and climbing into bed, Frisk looked over at the flower. “Goodnight, Flowey. Thanks for coming to the surface with me.”

     “Go to sleep, Frisk.”

     Smiling, and figuring that was the best she was going to get out of him, Frisk reached over to hit the light switch by her bed, flooding the room in darkness. She then snuggled into her own covers, falling asleep soon after.

     Flowey sighed, staring into the darkness for a moment before yawning. Closing his petals over his face, he was soon sleeping as well.

[allheartnobrainandnoplans]

Warframe personalities from how I see them, by my first glance at them.

Heads up, this is a long post. Enjoy~!

Ash: Aloof mofo with a stabbing habit. could rob you of all your money in texas hold ‘em. Too much damn side eye. Kills everyone is the room, then breaks for coffee like nothing happened. Ninja who steals the last slice of cake from the fridge.

Atlas: would kick your ass then be your best bro. is dead inside? somewhat likely but can’t tell anymore. makes shitty jokes. I get he’s a one punch man stone golem, but c’mon, the guy gives pretty good hugs.

Banshee: Resting bitch face, but is sound sensitive so she has a reason. Most likely up to god knows what hours listening to music enjoying synethesia sensations. Knows a thing or two about where to find the best obscure books. Caring protective friend.

Chroma: Moody guy who just wants some fucking peace and quiet. Hoards things like trophies from kills, bet this guy has so many hunting trophies? ffs, his ult is a dragon pelt, might as well be a dragon! Really good at pissing off people without even trying.

Ember: Sassy friend wants all the tea. Best booty to boot. You see that guy over there? He’s on fire. She fucking murdered him with sick comebacks. Don’t get me wrong though, she might like her bacon crispy but she’s a pretty loyal friend. Probably would come get your ass for a revive with intent to raze the fucking field with wildfire.

Equinox: Calm balanced friend??? Has two sides she shows to different people, everyone who talks to her might find something different about her. Likes keeping a lot of houseplants in her room in the dojo. Courteous and polite and gives the best backhanded compliments under a pleasant facade.

Excalibur: Average Joe. Good at a lot but not the best, really doesn't give his best. Very athletic. rushes through missions impatiently. Might play too many hack’n’slash games in his spare time.

Frost: Stoic, quiet, probably has some thought going on at all times. Reads a lot of mythology from before the orokin era. Procrastinates and stalls for his buddies while holding down the fort. solid person to talk to if you need someone to listen.

Hydroid: The guy has enough mentions about tentacle porn, it’s safe to say he’s hoarding a hentai stash somewhere. or people assume. just a guy who loves the water, could talk for days about fish and where to find all the best seafood restaurants. has had enough people mentioning pirates around him. has a good, hearty laugh.

Inaros: Tired, always fucking tired. Sleep? I’ll sleep when I’m dead. if you can kill me, that is. Mmm. nom. Corpus tastes metallic. Grineer tastes like really bad slimy chicken. I’m not sharing what infested taste like. Shields? What the heck is that? Appreciates old architecture and hoards ayatan statues.

Ivara: Sneaky sneaky~ I got an arrow for just about any job. Just because i am a cyclops doesn’t mean i don’t have depth perception, dumbass. Carefree happy lady, fun to talk to. Makes lots of banter with teammates on missions.

Limbo: Trolls might love this guy, why doesn't he have a fedora helmet yet? I’ve not seen enough Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure to know what those references mean. He’s a real gentleman, very inquisitive. He’s a scientist? Aw, cool. Prolly spacing out while carousing through the rift, thinking about his next project.

Loki: The Cheeseframe is what people call him. Knows where all the loot is, all the time. Giggling and pulling pranks 24/7. Can do shit effortlessly and stares at his team wondering why the fuck the had to trigger the damn alarm in a mission. Also, hammerhead shark. This guys likes playing card games too.

Mag: In a state of calm and panic at the same time. Doesn’t show much though. Magnetic personality? Could crush your heart in a minute. Has a good taste in interior design, rather good at art deco/ industrial. Has some walls to get through before befriending her, but melts like a marshmellow when ya do.

Mesa: 360 no scope!!! It’s high noon! okay, now that’s out of the way, let’s keep going. Keeps an orderly schedule, off doing solo missions all the time. Loves a good movie, could talk about her favorite film for hours. Deserts are dry? So is her humor. Would shoot you without even thinking.

Mirage: You thought Loki’s pranks were bad? At least her enemies get these night mare shows and not you. This chick loves horror films, special effects make up and disco. Pretty good at good at lighting up the room and your smile. She really just wants a good time, okay?

Nekros: Sick mofo who tells dead baby jokes. Has some interesting kinks. Rarely eats, if ever. Would look you dead in the eye and try to tell you bad puns seriously as possible. Has seen the dead walk again, thinks they’re best buddies. good guy to go to a graveyard with.

Nezha: Srsly good looking.. guy? girl? oh idc he can be genderfluid and i’d still think he’s attractive. Got serious hula skills. Never takes himself seriously and just loves going for long missions. Knows a thing or two about culture, rather classy guy but can be a bit childish. Never really grew up, but you don’t notice that behind the charm.

Nidus: This is the I-don’t-give-a damn guy. He wrecks everything he touches, spreads space aids, yet his personality is far from cancer. Very good with animals. A bit messy. Too many damn things talking in his head from the infested and ignores them like a champ. They bend to his will.

Nova: A Good Egg, if slightly cracked. Giggles at the mention of inane words. Everything explodes!!! ADHD in a frame. Good natured wholesome friend who loves everyone. Bad habit of breaking appliances and electronics. Geiger counters near her start playing Imagine Dragon’s Radioactive?

Nyx: Look at this frame. You took a good warframe and gave it anxiety, sheesh. Shy, kinda hard to deal with hearing everyone’s thoughts sometimes. ain’t got time for your drama. Loves talking about current events, but not much of a gossip out of respect for others. giant personal space bubble, do not touch!

Oberon: Royal pain in the ass, but a lovable doofus so you kinda just let it go. Very protective dad friend, complete with dad jokes. Probably would like to finish your sandwich if you’re not gonna eat it. Would open his home to you if you needed a couch to surf on.

Octavia: This girl loves all music, could help you find just the mix you were looking for. Got sick dance moves too. Might have been in band. Would happily binge watch any tv show with you and discuss everything about it. You don’t know what so charming about her, but you really like her so you always accept her invites. Had a bad habit of fidgeting.

Rhino: This guy could bench press a grineer ship in one hand and corpus ship in the other. you don’t move out of his way, he runs you over, simple as that. gym rat, for sure. somewhat impatient. watches way too many superhero blockbusters and devours the comics. Mows down the entire enemy wave just get your sorry bleeding ass back up and fighting again.

Saryn: Oh, good lotus, this chick has got good looks and a deadly touch. Cunning girl could outsmart anyone. Low key annoyed in general. Would back stab you without a thought, given a reason. Knows a lot about cooking. I mean, if you’re going to poison someone or at least know how to work in the biolab you should probably know how this type of chemistry works. dodges responsibility a lot tho.

Titania: flighty as fuck, gets startled easily. graceful; she has good fashion sense. you have no idea where she came from in the room. fairy tales are definitely her thing, but happy endings really aren't true with that state of things right now in the solar system. too many butterflies, but is fine with it since they help her stay calm. Actually really good at flying archwings, I think?

Trinity: First one to rush into the fight, last one to leave until everyone is okay. Is the Mom friend. Likes to be helpful. Rather much a bitch to those she hates. She may have an open heart, but don’t walk all over this girl. Cross her once, shame on you. Cross her twice, she leaves you for dead on eris, end of story.

Valkyr: Look, she’s been through some shit, has ptsd, the very least you can do is give her a cat plushie and your support, okay? Gets angry easily and has meltdowns. She’s not a pushover. She knows what’s best, she can endure. semi serious, jokes fly over her head. it may take a bit for her to like you. literally a cat frame, you don’t know love until you've been loved by a cat.

Vauban: Forget Limbo being a troll. This is THE trollframe. Went to college for engineering, came back out a smart ass. Don’t loan money to him, he prolly won’t pay ya back. Pretty good drinking buddy tho. Reads a shit ton of shakespear to know what that sense of humor really is. Shit poster, meme hoarder extrordinaire. you can have a grenade! And you can have a grenade! YOU ALL CAN HAVE GRENADES!

Volt: Impeccable taste mixed with sharp commentary. Why does he have a helmet that’s a boob? maybe he has a high schooler’s sense of humor? would be honest with you and tell you straight up what needs to be done. This guy likes expensive suits. Has a tendency to be impulsive.

Wukong: Has loads of stories to tell. Good memory. Can comeback from just about any setback. determined and will happily grind with you in missions for hours. Also pretty damn stubborn and doesn’t listen well to others, kinda has to speak first.

Zephyr: Life’s a breeze here, right? Kinda goes with whatever and has a hard time deciding on things. Kinda clumsy too. Crashes raids and blows away the enemy. Usually minds her own business with her head in the clouds.