#i remember the last time i had my fr phase it was right in time for a dom event as well but that was just a profit push

[layalu]

apparently i have relapsed into my (ir)regular Flight Rising phase lolol so of course i continue to use every game ever as a glorified character creator

below in order are: Lacrima, Kiran, Noé, Flora, Quentin, Lilian :]

[noxtivagus]

i love love ffxiv sm fr (to the edge)

[tojisun]

OMG. the helmet!!:!!:!: this might be biker simon https://pin.it/3aqBTs5

holy fuck the details on that??? AND THE MUSSY HAIR????

THIS MIGHT BE BIKER!SIMON FR

…ok but it def terrified you when you first saw his helmet 😭

you’ve been hearing johnny joke about simon being in his emo phase, talking about a skull helmet and teasingly call it cringe so you had… low expectations about what it could look like. you’ve seen graphic art on helmets before so you ascribed those to simon’s – a helmet you haven’t seen yet given that simon kept picking you up with his car instead so you never got the chance to glance at the art.

one night, simon messaged you saying that he’d crash at your place for the time being. the meet dragged on, apparently it’s because many members were preparing for the upcoming rally, and you replied to him, saying that he give you a call so you can unlock the door for him.

it’s two in the morning when simon calls, his muffled voice ragged from exhaustion as he tells you he’s outside. you mumble sleepily to him, dismissing his murmured apologies as you amble towards your door.

you peer through the peephole, fear dousing your previous exhaustion because what the fuck is that on the other side of your door.

“sweetheart?” simon’s voice crackles from your phone and you jolt, air rushing back into your lungs. you quietly turn, speeding away from your door to lock yourself in your bathroom, panicked breaths rasping from your dry lips.

“si,” you whisper, your voice broken from a building sob. “there’s someone outside my apartment.”

“what?!” simon replies, his own exhaustion morphing into concern. “do you see them from your room? are you safe?”

“yes,” you murmur, afraid to speak any louder. “i-i don’t know where you are right now but i saw them from my peephole and- si, i’m scared.”

there is an unusual pause on the other line, something you don’t expect from simon, before hearing him breathe in deeply and exhale with a trembling laugh.

“shit, baby,” he says, his voice racked with mirth. “fuck, this is on me but, uh, that’s me that you saw.”

…what?

“what?” you repeat out loud.

“what you might’ve seen is my helmet. remember how i customized it with a skull design?” he clarifies, still sounding so fond before a muffled thumping echoes from his line. then, “i removed my helmet so if you want to check again, you’d see it’s me.”

you nibble on your bottom lip, feeling your heart begin to calm down. “y’promise?”

“on my life, baby.”

that’s all you needed before tiptoeing back to your door, hearing the way simon is still murmuring soft assurances of your safety, and peering through the peephole. you see simon – mussed up hair and exhausted eyes, but that’s simon alright.

you fling your door open, forgetting that you were in a call with him, and instantly dive into his arms. simon catches you with a quiet oof before fixing his arms around you properly.

“shh,” simon whispers, pressing kisses on the top of your head. “i’m home now. y’r safe.”

“m’sorry,” you sniff, embarrassment filling you up now as the panic completely bleeds away.

simon chuckles before pinching your chin to make you look at him. he smiles at you softly when you finally meet his eyes. “nothin’ to be sorry for, baby. i’m proud of you for going to safety and telling me right away.” he kisses your forehead. “you did good, sweetheart.”

he cuddles you as you two sleep and tomorrow morning, he shows you his helmet.

he pulls you to his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder as he points at the engraving, telling you about the multiple trial-and-error helmets he’s gone through until he’s finally found the one that he truly liked.

“mm, it’s pretty,” you say, pretending last night didn’t happen

simon kisses your neck. “i’m glad y’like it.”

your lips wobble at the realization that simon is also down to pretend with you.

you shift on his lap and pepper his face with kisses, humming in delight when warm palms cup your ass to push you closer towards him.

(simon doesn’t tell johnny but johnny knows anyway. he drops beside you with a crooked grin, his shoulder bumping yours.

“so you finally saw the helmet?” he asks.

you nod, ignoring the sudden warmth of embarrassment that fills your cheeks. johnny laughs.

“scary, huh?”

“yup,” you say, popping the ‘p’.

he hums, shaking his head. “made me almost piss my pants, lass. y’r not alone.”

that punches a laughter out of you.)

i live for johnny n reader friendship <333

also ignore how long-ish this turned out again 😭 my fingers truly slipped

[khaopybara]

get to know me 🐝

i saw this, thought, 'this is fun, i'll do this later,' and proceeded to completely forget about it. thank you @sherrymagic and @chinzhilla for tagging me! i might take a little bit, but i eventually get there, and i had fun answering these.

do you make your bed? - nope. i remember one time when i tried making it into an habit, but to no avail.

what's your favourite number? - lucky number 3.

what is your job? - as of right now, i'm studying. i also occasionally translate articles and school papers (i know, surprising).

If you could go back to school would you? - honestly? yeah.

can you parallel park? - yes, but only if there are no cars behind me wanting to get through.

a job you had that would surprise people? - i don't know if it's surprising but i worked in a police station for like a year and a half during law school. it was actually my internship, but i did everything, so i will say it counts.

do you think aliens are real? - absolutely.

can you drive a manual car? - we learn how to drive in manual cars where i live, so yes. i do have an issue with inclines, though, but i can do everything else.

what's your guilty pleasure? - what is even a guilty pleasure, fr. nothing comes to mind, to be honest, and trust me i pondered over this for like almost 10 minutes.

tattoos? - unfortunately no. i do want to a haku on his dragon form on my shoulder, though.

favourite colour? - yellow.

favourite type of music? - pop, k-pop, r&b are genres i always go back to. during only friends, i started listening to a lot of alt/indie rock because of sand and khaotung's songs recommendations.

do you like puzzles? - as in jigsaw puzzles? yes. crosswords can be fun. i grow frustrated quite easily especially when there's a difficult puzzle on a video-game, so if i can't figure it out, i just skip it and move forward with my life.

any phobias? - i'm insanely scared of frogs (just found out it's an actual phobia, ranidaphobia). i guess claustrophobia, too, to some degree.

favourite childhood sport? - volleyball and handball. i was so good at those, but i got injured and had to quit.

do you talk to yourself? - yes, especially when i'm driving or riding my motorcycle.

what movie(s) do you adore? - i was thinking about this the other day, how all my favorites change depending on what phase i'm in, but the one constant has always been spirited away (2003, hayao miyazaki). i guess it's bc it's one of the first movies i ever watched that i could see myself in the protagonist, and it was the first one i could pinpoint as being my favorite. the ones i've been liking as of the last six months are la sociedad de la nieve and bottoms.

coffee or tea? - tea. any type of tea. coffee only if it's with milk (i'm lactose intolerant, but we ignore that)

first thing you wanted to be growing up - a dentist.

also another funny thing about me, i don't usually tag people in anything bc i'm like apprehensive that i'll be imposing on them (i don't feel like y'all are imposing on me when i get tagged, i feel really great actually, so i don't know why my brain just assumes that i'm the annoying one), but do feel free to do this and tag me if you wish to.

[rainbow-nerdss]

Block

Buck/Eddie 9-1-1, 792 words Coffee shop AU, Writer Eddie Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 3: Writers Ao3 link

It's the perfect spot. Tucked in the corner by a window, the chair comfortable and soft but still offering support. 

Eddie has everything he needs for a productive writing session, and yet he's been staring at the blank page in front of him for twenty minutes now, waiting for the words to come.

His coffee cup is almost empty, but he refuses to drink the last sip until he's written at least a sentence. He needs to pick Chris up in less than an hour, though, and he's beginning to wonder if today is another no-go. It's been weeks since he's written anything more than a sentence, and his editor has seriously been breathing down his neck about it.

A cup clunks down on the table in front of him, and he glances up in surprise, brow furrowing. The barista he'd ordered from when he came in is standing there, looking ever so slightly awkward. Eddie remembers his name, even though it had been pinned to the apron which he was no longer wearing. 

Buck. 

Eddie has been here a lot lately, timing his visits for when he'd figured out Buck usually worked. It makes him feel like a bit of a stalker, but he rationalizes it by telling himself it’s just because Buck usually gives him a free shot of vanilla in his lattes. 

"I, uh… you looked like you could use another cup," Buck says. "On me, don't worry," he adds, when Eddie's frown deepens.

Eddie looks between the steaming mug of fresh coffee in front of him, and the bashful expression on Buck's face. 

"Thanks,” Eddie feels a smile pull at the corner of his mouth. “Do you wanna sit?”

Eddie gestures at the seat opposite him, and Buck hesitates. 

“You’re writing,” Buck waves a hand and takes a step back. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

The smile finally wins out, and Eddie closes the notebook. “I haven’t written a single word since I got here, Buck. I’d welcome the distraction.”

Buck’s eyes widen a fraction, and he agrees, sitting across from Eddie with the to-go cup he had in his hand. He really had been planning to just drop off the coffee and go.

“What were you working on?” Buck asks, nodding at the book.

“It’s a novel — or, well, it’s supposed to be. Eventually.”

Buck leans forward, and his enthusiasm could almost be seen as teasing, if it wasn’t for the pure curiosity in his eyes.

Eddie tells him, reeling off the standard summary he gives when his family or friends ask, the version he has memorized at this point. A firefighter, a mystery, a suspicious new face he can’t get out of his head.

Buck hangs on every word, and when Eddie finishes, he doesn’t move on. He asks questions, and Eddie is suddenly reminded of Christopher’s “Why?” phase. 

Eddie answers each one with ease, until Buck asks. “Why’d the new guy show up in the first place?”

And Eddie… doesn’t know. He frowns, staring at the empty cup of coffee which he’d drank without even noticing. 

An answer begins to take shape in his mind, and suddenly, Eddie knows. 

“Holy shit,” he whispers. 

Buck looks taken aback. “What just happened?” 

“You fixed my writer’s block!” Eddie tears open the notebook to a blank page and starts writing it down before it can slip away. 

“I did?” Buck asks. “Really?” 

Eddie glances up briefly. “Seriously! This is—”

Eddie’s phone buzzes, a reminder he needs to leave for Chris. “Fuck,” he grumbles. “Seriously, Buck. I could kiss you right now, but I need to pick my son up from school. I gotta go.” 

He shoves the book in his bag and races for the door, but Buck stops him with a hand on his arm. “You could kiss me? You have a kid?”

Eddie has to go, but Buck’s staring at him like he’s something wonderful, and it pins Eddie to the spot.

“Look—” he begins, glancing at the clock. “Let me buy you dinner, okay? I owe you for the inspiration, and, well — yeah, maybe I do want to kiss you, but I really need to leave right now.”

Buck’s face is bright pink, but he smiles. “Sure, that… that sounds good. I’m free tomorrow at six? Unless you need more time, to find a sitter or whatever?”

Chris will be with Carla tomorrow, and Eddie thanks his past self for calling in that favor to buy himself more time to work out this writer’s block. 

“That works for me! I’ll meet you here, okay?”

Buck nods, and Eddie rushes out the door. He’s halfway to Chris’s school before he realizes he’d never actually told Buck his name.

Tomorrow at six. 

He can introduce himself then.

[weirdcat1213]

another day another week ANOTHER FUCKING VOLUME-

okok lets relax

vol 11 thoughts

chap 1:

you know i barely remember this so it should be fun :D

-CHAPEL IDC IF THIS A FLASHBACK BUT THE TF OUT OF MY HOUSE

-"all he did was to shoot you in the spine" lmao elendira calling legato a baby is my favorite thing

-you know what girlie youre so right- oh a joke? damn it

-ily zazie, youre so cool

-VASH SLEEPING IN THE CAR :D

-oh hey brad is here

-ah NO NOT THE AFTERMATH MOMENTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-brad, brad, honey....he knows

-why is my poor baby apologizing :c

-i mean brad's fears are valid and all but HE DOESNT KNOW AND WE KNOW AND VASH KNOWS AND ITS ALL JUST REALLY SAD

-GIVE MY MAN A BREAK LMAO XD

-also i can relate to livio here cuz rn my environment is too trusting and im so paranoid about security like yeah vash, i would never sleep in the back of a car of someone whom i just met you dumbass-

-shut up literally shut up

-fair

-Ion Blaster TM time :3

-final phase you say-

-oh....oh no. vash, this is gonna be one of those moments where you sigh and curse knives for being kinda right

-oh he angy xd

-OHH RIGHT YEAH

-yeap...they are fucked atm

-OMG ITS THEM THEYRE COMING YIPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

chap 2

-THEYRE ALMOST HEREEEEE

-catch me being that guy when the end comes (just a dude in a coat with a hat playing music, thats gonna be me)

-oh god no, the worst and most boring thing you could do is to label knives as a terrorist. the guy is so much more and that word just doesnt fit him

-yes thank you! no time for nonsense

-THERE SHE IS HEY GIRLLLLL ITS BEEN SO LONG, TOO LONG, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY :3

-MILLY MY BELOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

-when was the last time we saw them? 2 volumes ago?

-"i would never would have imagined this. that the world could change so fast" and that goes on the list of "timeless trigun things" or TTT for short

-:c

-wait so...transphobe guy? get yeeted

-oh...oh i didnt remember...oh i will cry

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reunioooooooooon

-look at their fucking faces, they missed each other so much

-tbh if i met the most jesus-allegory guy ever, then lost trail of where or how he was for 2 volumes of a manga ,to find him later in the middle of a silly fight i would also cry

-that scene with the pieces of earth announcement makes me kinda sad, no one will come for us

-geesus christ

-ohhh kinda pretty tho, looks like a phoenix

chap 3:

-"its all happening so fast" yeah sorry dude, its a trigun tradition

-HE LOOKS SO HAPPY, HIS DUTY (according to him) OF PROTECTING THE PEOPLE IS ALMOST DONE

-"do you want me to come along?" he would be the best person to go to public places when you are too anxious to talk to strangers

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT ASK PLS NO

-livio honey what was the idea here "oh you guys seem like you liked him. i actually killed him. well not me but also me. im sorry"

-milly my girl is cursed to be the 1st and og wolfwood stan in any version. we feel your pain girl

-LMAO THE NOTE ABOUT ZAZIE XD

-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW :3 A BAG OF LITTLE THINGSSS

-NOT VASH CARRYING FIGURINES AROUND, HES LIKE ME FR FR WITH MY KEYCHAINS

-also ofc he has rare figurines, the man has had enough time to look for it lmao

-ok but imagine if vash actually had lost the coins xd

-the pressure and guilt livio must feel rn. his brother died trying to protect him and he has the official Vash Thinks Youre Cool stamp. he has to change cuz if he doesnt he would throw all of that away and really stop being human

-you did good brad

-"must be lonely" im eating my own arm

-oh im really crying over this, ok, fun

-i also dont know what to do vash the stampede but im begging you to ASK FOR HELP YOU MFFFFFFFFFF

-AH SHIT ZAZIE NO

-AH FUCK ITS HIM

chap 4:

-july 20th? ah great, july 20th-21st is cursed here too

-rad as hell as always

-huh, i expected knives to just yeet them on sight

-i would say him and humans are pretty much alike but ok, sure,hm

-i love her being suspicious of legato 1st xd

-i wonder how can this go wrong, seems like a solid plan

-oh right...him

-YEAH GO GET HIM >:3

-oh...oh thats so cool. like his body doesnt work...but he controls it...but not in the same way a human would...wow

-OH BEAUTIFUL EYE HOLY SHIT THATS BEAUTIFUL

-GATE CONSUMING STUFF YOU SAY.....HMMMMM I WONDER WHERE I SAW THE SAME TRIGUN CONCEPT-

(side note: "you still dont know how to control your gate" SO THATS HOW IT LOOKS WHEN YOU CONTROL IT? IT ONLY CONSUMES/CREATE WHAT YOU WANT?? ORANGEEE)

-MAGIC BULLETSSSSSS

-LMAO THE HOLE XD

-vash you cant say shit about silly haircuts im sorry

-also "new hair new outlook"...........i will curl myself into the moon

-they forgor

-who are you

-also ngl i never got the idea of what the coins did so lets find out

chap 5:

-SHES FUCKING HERE REJOICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-wait wdym neural blocking programs

-LMAO XD

-LIVIO IS SO SCARED AND WITH REASON

-just the two of us :3

-i love his game face and then its just "ugh i cant do this" xd

-"fight vash the stampede fight" me cheering vash on in stampede

-vash i love you but you cant call my wife a bitch, thats not polite

-oh livio, oh i didnt get to appreciate you too much on my 1st read but come here man, come here. youre doing great

-they have officially trauma bonded :3 (ik thats a terrible oversimplification but leave me alone)

-"is it possible for something created by humans to completely break away from their creators?" yes next question

-OH NO IS THIS THE VOLUME WITH *THAT SCENE*?

-"you really have become a crybaby" and im glad cuz she was always so serious with her job and all, now she can express her feelings more

-STOPPPP THIS ALWAYS GETS ME CUZ AHHHHHH STOP

-AH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :C

-...........and thats story is technically stampede but anyway jajajajaja :D

-the prettiest eyes

-FUNNY ENOUGH HE DOES LOOK LIKE A BUG

-OH ITS TIME ITS FUCKING TIME HOLY SHIT

chap 6:

-the title :c

-liviooooooo :c

-HEY! my boi can still kick your ass >:[

-DONT YOU EVEN *DARE*

-just leave him out of this pls

-i love that he still considers himself human <3 i want to think wolfwood taught him that indirectly

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-I MEAN YES YOURE RIGHT BUT CAN YOU NOT???

-huh, the silhouette kinda looks like wolfwo- *gunshot*

-i love knowing exacty what livio is thinking rn

-aww :3

-liviooooooooooo :c

-his cowboy era is about to start im so proud of him :')

[desultory-novice]

Dess the prophet holy moly

Fr got hit with the Apollo prophecy dodgeball

Wait AM I a prophet...???

Dodgeball is when you try NOT to get hit, right? Because I think that's what happened here! XD

I threw a lot of wild mass guesses out there, but I can't remember if I actually got anything right. I got the last boss crazy wrong! But I'm not even disappointed?! (The remake is so good omg!)

Anyway, there'll be some asks going up today and tomorrow (both for the game and a few unrelated - but still kind of related - ones)

Note that I have AVOIDED reading anyone else's discussions about the game to keep my thoughts on this experience as much my own as possible. So if some of the stuff you see is stuff people have already figured out/jossed/etc, or I ignore something that everyone else is going crazy over (probably because I totally missed seeing it (1) in which case, poke me and I'll check it out) that's why!

--

(1) [True Arena Last Fight Spoilers]

Like how I nearly missed the fact that Magolor is almost constantly, tearfully, weakly crying out "Kir...by..." in his own voice the whole time you're fighting him in his last phase.

Rather, I kind of heard it, but it was so late at night and my brain was going crazy trying not to die that I wrote it off as a hallucination! Had to see everyone in the JP fandom going crazy over it on my timeline before I went back to double check on Youtube...!

...

...

:breaks down into tears over Magolor again:

...You know, I feel as if I DID mention something off-handed about "lol wouldn't it be funny if HAL added in Magolor crying during the Soul fight" and THEY DID so maybe I'm a prophet after all??

[duckwithablog]

Dear Duck, I hope this ask finds you in good health.

Regarding Shadow, yeah I’m definitely a sucker for grumpy characters with depth 😂. Other than Shadow, I love Rouge and Chaos. Prime is giving Rouge attention, and it makes me so happy :))

I never heard of Ian Jr until now… but my eyes has been opened now. I-I have found the enlightenment Wukong has been searching for. He’s…He’s just so silly! 🤩 Definitely blorbo quality. I must pat his head and stuff him in my pocket- Also, Knuckles is such a valid choice. You know da wae *nods* *click click click*. Lastly, I think we can both agree that Chaos needs more love. He’s just a sweetheart protecting the chao. We must protecc at all cost.

To answer your questions….I had a Sonic phase as a kid so get ready:

The only Sonic games I’ve played were Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Generations, Sonic and the Black Knight, and Mario + Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games. HOWEVER, I’ve watched people play all of the other games (except frontier). Out of all those games, Sonic Generations is probably my favorite. In terms of shows, Sonic X is my favorite for nostalgic reasons. I’ve only just started reading the comics.

Ngl… I could probably go all day talking about my interests 🤣.

When did you start enjoying the Sonic franchise? For me it was around 7 years ago when I actually got into it.

-🍑 anon

FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO ANSWERING THIS ASK YIPPEE

Fuck yeah, Rouge Appreciation! Good to see SEGA supportign womens rights AND womens wrongs <33

Yes... Im so glad ur finally seeing the light (Ian Jr). AND KNUCKLES <333 OUGHH HES SO SO SILLY I LOVE HIM SM!!! Chaos is honestly p underrated. Dude is a water blob, how can u not love them?

Yes, they may have genocided Knuckles's ancestors. But like. Erm. Theyre blorbo. So!!

YOOOO u fr a bonafide sonic fan!! Unfortunately, the only game ive ever played is frontiers and ive only gotten that recently,, Not sure if i mentioned that before lmao. I think I'm nearing the end of Archie Sonic, as in I'm getting close to the Super Genesis Wave aka the Reboot. Which happened bcs of... HIM.....

But whatevs!

RAHHH RAMBLE ABT UR INTERESTS TO ME ANYTIME YOU WANT!!! I LOVE HEARING PPL TALKING ABT WHAT THEY LOVE!!!! ID GLADLY LISTEN!!!!!!

7 years is a long time :00 Hmm let me try to remember... I think I got into sonic december of last year? I think? Not sure, but it's probably somewhere around that time I got into the silly blue hedgehog franchise.

SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER BTW!! My christmas break is coming soon, and I'm planning to (hopefully) get this blog active again by FINALLY posting some x reader stuff!! Drop another ask if u have the time!!

[tonysaintborgi]

How do i overcome my catholic guilt over my own sexuality? Left the church a long time ago but I still have an aversion to anything gay, despite being gay myself. Not very fun tbh

Oh fuckin catholic guilt. Nothing as wholly engulfing like catholic guilt. I was baptized Catholic and then raised around protestants so I know all about that. Ough!! Last week, I mentioned I had a phase where I was incredibly self loathing about being a furry which is actually a lot of the same as well!

Bad news: no easy fix for this. Good news: you WILL heal. The more time you spend around queers, the more you'll recover. And most grounded queers will understand religious trauma because we unfortunately live in a pretty shitty society, so you're not alone in this either. And yeah, the words "religious trauma" is no understatement - it's literally trauma. It's good to remember you've been thru some fucked up shit.

But fr. You have an aversion to gay things? But you're gay? The best thing you can do for yourself is dive right in. Hang out with other gays. Consume some queer media. Allow yourself the things you always wanted but felt shame about. Learn to express your thoughts unhindered by how you "should" be. I know not all of those will be easy but the more you do it, the easier it will become to do.

DON'T go "oh well, maybe I can just dip my toes in being gay and be a normal person otherwise!" because that's just caging your soul! It'll stifle your personality and repress your emotions. It's not breaking free from the chains of trauma, it's breaking one chain and calling it a day despite the other chains. (Take this one from me, personally, who DID try to stifle myself for a while.)

also something else you can do... I know my followers are pretty evenly split between furries and non furries. if you're not a furry, literally, become one. "what?" yes you can become a furry just like that and it will help. How will it help? Making a fursona is literally just a special way of self expression. You can use them to express yourself in ways you don't feel comfortable irl! hell, get a commission of your sona making out and/or railing another dude. it's healing

also I asked my sibling and they said "tell anon that if jesus died for their sins, they should make the sacrifice worth it, cuz jesus loves them either way." so there's always that too

[freyayuki]

Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia Dare to Defy Nyx V Shinryu Quest

The final Dare to Defy event, Dare to Defy -The Battles’ End-, just started in the Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia (DFFOO) mobile game. This is a global original event that features 21 Shinryu (level 300) or higher quests.

Sadly, the reason why this is the final or last Dare to Defy event is because DFFOO just announced that it will discontinue or end its service on February 29, 2024.

The end of service announcement news came as a shock. I talk more about that in another post, but I really wish the news wasn’t true. Wish the game wasn’t ending at all.

Dare to Defy -The Battles’ End- Information

According to the in-game news:

This final challenge features up to 21 quests and contains the bosses featured in Shinryu difficulty (or higher) quests from past story chapters and events as well as new Shinryu bosses, and requires Perfect clears with character restrictions!

Dare to Defy -The Battles’ End- is divided into 3 sets of 7 quests - Dare to Defy Astraeus, Dare to Defy Nyx, and Dare to Defy Eos.

But the character restrictions applies across all the quests. This means that if you use a char on 1 Dare to Defy quest, then you can’t use them anymore on the other fights in this event.

You can’t bring a friend support to these fights. Each quest needs to be Perfected (meaning get the score and all the other mission requirements on the same run) in order to get all the rewards.

All the chars are boosted in this event so each quest starts with the force gauge already charged to 50%.

Dare to Defy Nyx V Shinryu Quest

Cleared the Dare to Defy Nyx V Shinryu quest with Laguna Loire from Final Fantasy VIII (#ad), Mog from Final Fantasy VI, and Fusoya from Final Fantasy IV with Bahamut as my summon.

My Calls were Cid Raines's from Final Fantasy XIII, Seymour Guado's from Final Fantasy X, and Sazh Katzroy's from Final Fantasy XIII.

Laguna, Fusoya, and Mog are as fully built and maxed out as they can possibly be. They are currently equipped with Level 5 of 5 Ultima Weapons.

Mog, Laguna, and Fusoya have 3 Crystal Passives as well as the additional stats from the White Crystal Room (for Fusoya) and the Blue Crystal Room (for Laguna and Mog).

Can’t remember for sure now if I’ve already fully completed the White Crystal Room by the time I tried this fight but definitely already completed the Blue Crystal Room.

Anyway, when the fight started, just had everyone setup their buffs and such while waiting for my force gauge to be fully charged.

Once my force gauge was fully charged, had Fusoya activate his FR.

Then had everyone use their Force Echoes.

When I went into Laguna's Burst+ mode, have 8 turns of force time left and the HP damage bonus was at 799%. The enemies were down to 51% and 59% HP.

Soon, the HP damage bonus was at 999% and the enemies were down to 7% and 3% HP.

By the time Laguna was about to cast Desperado, his finishing Burst+ move, have 2 turns of force time left and there was only one enemy left on the field.

Said enemy was down to 1% HP and was basically dead already so right after Laguna’s Burst+ phase was over, the battle ended.

It was only turn 16. Got the score and all the other mission requirements, which also got me the Perfect. This fight was pretty easy with this team.

Conclusion

So, what about you? Which chars did you use to complete this Dare to Defy Shinryu quest? Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions by leaving a comment below or by reblogging or replying to this post.

Notes:

screenshots are from my Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia game account

[lqfiles]

ahh im finally hereeee i was so busy taking Bella to her grooming appointment and going to the mall and i finally got to sit down to read the amazing update btw!!

but yooo how haechan calls y/n sweetheart when he’s annoyed even in the slightest… he wants her to so badddd like ugh the tension… you write them so good in need of more, literally dying from thirst as of right now

(also, haechan saying “this is why i don’t do gfs”… yeah… sure… whatever you say…. you just haven’t found the right one fr)

i have so much respect to people who talk in any other language, so i have so much respect to you for knowing how to speak dutch, it’s such a beautiful language

and dude the proofreading part for the 28k imagine… it took me a whileeee (and im re-reading it again and i found a few mistakes 😭) i was driving myself crazyyyy writing the 28k, like it took me two months or so 😭 and yes… being a wattpad writer was an experience (i was there for the one direction fanfic phase) (also reached 24k followers 😋)

will i let you tuck me into bed and kiss my forehead? okay 🤭 if you read me your stories in the mean time

but yeah, the lady scares me 😭 like im up for meeting new people. im friends with everyone in the neighborhood (EVEN HOMELESS PEOPLE BRO and my mom is friends with cops too 😭) but the lady scares meeee like i cant compliment her bc as soon as i make eye contact, she glares at me 😔

thanks again for the updates 😋 it’s always a nice day when you update frfr THE TALENT PLS THE TENSION YOU WRITE BY NOT OVERDOING IT? yeah you’re my favorite writer 🫶🏼

- 🫧

(my friends are hating on bella’s new haircut bc you can see her eyes and they say you can see her human eyes even more… like she’s my baby don’t insult her pls 😭😭) (it was weird to be away from Bella for 3 hours btw)

LAMPOOO YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT BE RIGHT i don’t think i’ve ever seen a cut on a dog that doesn’t look unsettling they always make them look odd 😭 i mean i bet she looks still cute but at the same time THAT COULD VE A SKINCRAWLER!

at first it was meant to be a little belittling but now he’s gotten used to the nickname like he’s more likely to call her sweetheart that y/n and just waaaitt till he slips up in front of his friends and they’re like “who the FUCKK is your sweetheart..” i will try to make more tension tho 😓 i remember i promised this anon waaaayyyy before i even wrote the first chapter that i’d make their progress and tension quicker and more.. i’ll do my best!

I LOOOOVE MULTILINGUALS there is something so beautiful about it and i actually had a phase where i tried to learn so many languages (i’ve tried learning korean which at least i can read hangul now, i learned chinese and can read some basic stuff, learned japanese for a bit but already forgot it, tried learning thai spanish arabic and french too but i’m too greedy i can’t learn all of that) unfortunately i have the worst attention span ever so i never am able to fully commit to learning languages 😓

24K FOLLOWERS YOURE LITERALLY A CELEB OMGGG i feel you on that tho sometimes i can’t be bothered to proofread before continuing to write so i just read the last few paragraphs i wrote and call it a day lmao. also i’ll totally read you my stories don’t worry 😉 THANK YOU FOR THAT THO i always appreciate when you reassure my on my writing ilysm you don’t get it <3

as for that woman… i’d just leave it, if she doesn’t seem friendly enough to approach you should try your luck, it’s just going to be a waste of your time 🥲 just wait till she seems slightly interested in talking and take the opportunity!

[villystinka]

self-reflect

this is not a rant

So I'm going to try to reflect on the lowest period of my life - end of 2019 to spring 2022.

The only way I can remember it is with what phases I went through like for example October and November 2019 I was obsessed with Avril Lavigne, December I was obsessed with Star Wars... I felt really down but don't really remember why. I'm pretty sure it was seasonal depression though

We going into 2020... God. First two months I was still obsessed with Star Wars and then Shameless but then quarantine started in march. I was 14 btw. Anyways .. I was living with my dad at our cottage which is in the countryside since in our apartment there wasn't enough space for me and my brother to study online. I had my own room at the cottage so it was perfect and I felt really free. I was obsessed with Harry Potter and 5sos and whatnot OHHH and Doja cat. Summer 2020 I went to the national round of the English Olympiad in my country and it was kind of exciting except there was covid and we didn't go to another town ... But it was okay. I think that was the last major competition I ever went to, I just didn't have the energy since then. Also summer 2020 I started anime LMAO. My first ever anime was orange❤️❤️❤️ it still has a special place in my heart and I watched it one night and it was 5th of July idk why I remember it. Anyways I had a very major phase with black clover and that's what I connect summer 2020 with. Except that I was almost every day third-wheeling but still going outside because I just couldn't say no to my friend (she's toxic btw and we're not friends anymore) when she called me to go outside with her fucking boyfriend. Keep in mind she was 14 and her bf was 20 at the time... We not gonna talk about that lol it's not my life anyway but she was Hella groomed and she had nothing against it, she was actively encouraging this kind of age gap in relationships .... Its not like she was suffering. Anyways. We going into September 2020. What I connect it to is my big phase with Naruto and then I watched fullmetal alchemist and then november-ish I watched death note but like in September we started school right and the separation between me and my friends started to feel real, although I kept contact w them throughout spring and summer 2020. Then we went back online in October-ish if I remember correctly. That's when it really started to feel bad but not really. That's actually when I downloaded discord and the reason was that when I was reading fanfics on wattpad I saw one of the authors I followed link to their discord server and I was like ok I'll join it! Met some ppl there but I'm not talking to them anymore but I was addicted to mudae 💀. Winter 2020 I connect to meeting a certain individual called David (he was 23 at the time and I was 15) and I fell in love with him but then I was ranting about it to my online friends in that server and they were like girl you're not normal HES 23. that's when I realized that age gap wasn't normal. Yeah anyways.... I also connect winter 2020 with haikyuu and Yuri on ice.

We going into 2021.. worst year fr. Started off with my jojo phase, and then MY AOT PHASE. I swear if I hadn't watched aot so many things wouldn't have happened. I joined a certain server and met so many of my current online friends and we've been friends for almost two years. They helped me ALOT throughout this period! Honestly I started drift off my irl friends and NOT because of my online ones but because of another reason.

Guess I should explain my whole relationship w my friends, that's exactly why I wanted to do this self reflect thing. Now that I'm doing better I can do a whole summary and look at it more objectively. They all already had build a lot more connection among themselves than I did with them even before I met my online friends. They were texting me at some point asking why I'm not texting them but they always made me feel like I was OBLIGED to do it and made themselves the victims and not actually considering the event in which MAYBE I'm not feeling well. Actually I'm still baffled whether I felt bad or not. I feel like the only thing keeping me alive was consuming media just to feel something. While sometimes I was feeling great there was always something missing you know? I knew I was isolating myself from everyone but I was rarely feeling bad about it until one point when I started feeling lonely. Before I didn't feel that way... Until like start of 2021 I didn't feel lonely at all. I felt almost free tbh. I felt like there wasn't school and I was in my own bubble "paradise" in which I was reading, drawing, watching shows, movies, anime etc. Man idk anymore. Then I met my online friends and I was sometimes talking to my irl friends about online ones and that was such a big mistake. It turned to the point when my friends would insult those people even without knowing them, just because they felt replaced or something??? You werent there, Emily. I'm quoting her: "If you keep talking to them, you're gonna lose all your REAL friends"

Yes I'm still holding a grudge about that. She wasn't there for me not even once and you expect me not to find a way to fill the void?? And when this solution worked for me at the time? I didn't have to look good to be friends with them. My past didn't matter, my anxiety didn't matter. We bonded over games, memes, shows, anime like??? Exactly what my existence was all about, the consumed media that we had in common was what bonded us, and we were doing fun things, like karaoke nights, dubbing over anime scenes, sharing funny stories from our lives, learning about each other and the fact that we were (are) living in different countries and could talk different languages was interesting. I learned a lot about different cultures/religions, I even fasted during Ramadan 😮. Anyways. One of my friends always said this:

Translation: "I'm surprised that you've ever went outside and not being on discord 🙃"

"I'm even more surprised you opened that message instead of being on discord 🙃"

Out of every possible way to approach this situation, in his place I would never say this. By the age of 15 aren't you supposed to be able to feel sympathy? Not even empathy, sympathy. Someone could've asked if something is going on and I would respond normally and I wouldn't feel so bad but this is not encouraging in ANY WAY, like no this is not encouraging me to go outside and hang out with you???? What were you trying to achieve??? And if I bring up this this to the person rn he wouldn't even feel bad. Explain to me how this is right lmao I'm not going crazy right??? He's wrong right???? I'm not all bad right????

Because that's exactly how I felt, I felt like it was all my fault. I didn't even vent to anyone irl, I realized I shouldn't burden anyone with my own problems (family) but exactly cz they didn't know anything they were assuming I just did that on my own whim, because I felt like it. No? But no one really asked what happened. That's why you don't know 🤦🤦 and now it's too late, I don't need comfort now. The real reason I felt so bad was my own thoughts, my own brain. If someone had told me that the battle within myself should be won by ME and me only, if no one could actually help, it would've kind of been different. If actually realized it.

[nicegaai]

Ch 7:

(i ragequit halfway thru rereading this chapter bc i decided i hated it and everything in the world and etc <3 its literally fine tho. im going to finish this reread bc i said i would and i WILL. and i keep daydreaming ab this universe lately. i miss them.)

Ohhh this is where I took a big break between chapters and I was never sure the flow between them made a ton of sense… idk I guess because the two of them had a good talk and then immediately Emil dreamed about sucking oniichan off…..

Ohh this is so silly… Emil my boy.. this is so awkward for sig what are u doooooing <3

HMM. There are edits I want to make here. I didn’t need the last sentence. I used to like it, now I don’t . :/

OH!!!!! I did write Leon into this!!! Id forgot! I had several scenes with him i cut out bc I just didn’t want to write them..

ohh my god I duplicated a whole paragraph. This has all just been an elaborate exercise in embarrassment. I can’t believe I got away with this.

Wow </3 if u think about it, Sig wanting to fuck Emil sooo bad actually saved him from the gay incel lifestyle. It could have been so much worse for my boy <//3

Oh. The transition made me gasp. Gagged me a bit. Get it boysss. Wild Fucking Scene between these three. Idk what to say to this. Op you have problems.

Another error to edit :-/

CRAP DUDE I LEFT IN NOTES THAT WERE FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT. I can’t take it anymore im so madddddddd 

Actually this whole chapter is my least fav yet. SIGHH. I wanna go in and edit dialogue again bc this just. ughh. Ive changed I could do him better this time

(I actually walked away here for like 4 hours. Maybe im just at the anger stage of grief. )

Ok forget Sig, Berwald would not say that either. What is any of this? Why is any of this. Mannnnnnn get me out of here!!!!!  Haha wait I can just skim read. Its fine.

(It was not fine. I rage quit again and started again the next day.)

IM SORRY FOR THE NEGATIVITY ALL OF A SUDDEN I don’t know what my problem is. It’s Sunday now, back at it. Im gonna finish this reread TODAY so I can START WRITING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hm yeah this scene really didn’t play out as well as I hoped it would. I wanna throw up and cry but its good im good its good I am good … Its not good and I don’t know why it not being good is fucking w me this bad lmao

(RIGHT HERE is where i quit for like a month and im back again let's see if i freak out a third time<3)

so i guess this is why books go thru multiple rounds of edits. i understand now. writing is a mess and i came at this thing overconfident i could hammer something out on the fly,,,,,,,,

i will allow myself to go in and do rewrites and scene rearranging and such AFTER i finish the last chapter ONLY. thats my new motivation to finish this. and i will finish it. i will. i say this bc i really do fucking hate this scene and i want to do something violent to it in the rewrite phase sooo bad ill tear it to bits ill kill it dead #positivethinking

actually fuck this its my reread. i dont HAVE TO read this scene. aaaaand skip (<- liar who continues to skim and cringe)

ok scene over i lived. back to my darlingbabyboybabybooboobear

it was a mistake to involve characters that i dont want to throttle and soak in milk and slam against the wall. the writing only gets good when iceland is there i think & the rest is filler. the quality fr jumped about 3 levels this is so funnyyyyyy. im not hopeless after all ...!!

im going to squeeze emil until his head pops like a zit

im going to scream i m going to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD ARE THEY FUCKIN IN THIS CHAPTER? OH MY GOD ARE THEY? WAIT THERES STILL LIKE 1/3RD LEFT TO GO I DONT REMEMBER THIS ARE THEY GONNA --

im only getting more intrigued. what is this. whats happening. are they fuckin or nah

i love typos theyre eachand every one my special little friend *shaking w barely contained rage(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not remember where this is going but i hope they fuckin oh my god oh my god im kickin my feet and gigglinggggg aiigieieghhghe

hes a nervous little thingg ...... uwa.. moé ... <333

this is stupid and indulgent but i live for emil reacting to things.

make another edit here i think emil could be reacting cuter. future me, make the gayboy MORE moe please tttthnak you

i made a stupid noise when they kissed im weak i a m a weak man. also i knowwww they fuckin now but i dont trust that the sex is going to be well written i know it wont be.

already i am disappointed. and i know why cuz i can feel exactly where i struggled w the eroticism of the peenus and im reading this like. yeah i didnt enjoy writing that and its coming across to the reader alright. or to me at least with my criticism goggles on. god the next few chapters are going to be so much worse. but i think i can make it work. theres. i have. ..im seeing visions from fujoshi jesus

oh no i squee'd .. theres not another word for it. AHH!!!! i fucking squee'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]IM KICKING M Y FEET AND STUFF WHAT denice got me rolling around schoolgirl style . im a full on mess i love them sm ,THIS IS SO SILLYYYYYYYY I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMM WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im actually enjoying this so much i love denice.....

BWAHHHGHHH

EAUEGHAEUEGAHGAEHGA

projection in my fanfic? nooo neverr,

HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE EMILLLLL BABYYYYYY I WUV UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kicking my feet again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fav chapter ending ive ever written in anything ever. so good. what a horrible piece of shit i hate him. i hate all of this. something something my twisted mind. one more chpater ill read idk tomorrow maybe the next day.....well goodnight

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[inanotheruniversemusings]

got your green eyes in the back of my mind (it’s true)

fill for Supercorptober2020 prompt: baking

read on ao3

“Hi, what can I get you today?”

Lena starts a little. She’s gotten used to the cheery voice, having frequented the coffee shop for quite some time now—it’s her favorite, really; not that anyone’s asked aside from her best friend, Sam—has known its owner even longer, being that they’ve shared half of the same classes the last two semesters.

This, though, is a tad bit new. This being the name tag pinned over the shirt pocket of the cashier’s chest. It usually says Hello, I’m Kara, but now it has the I’m blotted out by black marker ink so that the Hello is perfectly—correctly—followed by prettiest girl I’ve seen today.

(How she managed to fit all those words within the tiny space and in such a neat scribble, Lena has no idea.)

“Uhm,” Lena tries to say; wants to tell the equally beautiful blonde girl who smiles like the sun that she wants her usual. But Lena just can’t stop wondering, and she just has to ask. So she does. “Did you forget the, umh,” she tries a second time, yet she ends up merely pointing at the name tag instead.

“Oh,” Kara mumbles. A well-timed dip of her head hides the sudden flush that blooms on her cheeks. Though there’s really nothing she can do about the redness that crawls down to her neck but fiddle with her glasses. “It’s—there was a dare. There may have been a dare involved.”

Lena nods, her brows arching in barely-contained amusement. “I see.”

Kara flushes even more that she starts swallowing quite visibly, and in a fast, admittedly slightly worrying phase. “Anyway,” she attempts to press on, waving her hands in an added gesture. But she’s still stiff and so flustered that she ends up looking like she’s slicing at the air.

Lena laughs, more to herself—and the adorable state she’s seemed to have left Kara in—than anything; decides to save the other woman from further embarrassment by speaking. “Can I get my usual?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Kara answers. Her voice is unnaturally high, not that Lena knows the sound of it or anything, even as she tries to squeeze in one of her quips. “Or, well, I guess Nia’s, since she’s our barista.”

“Yep, that’s me,” the woman in question chimes in from somewhere behind Kara. She even brings a hand to where her very own name tag is pinned on her apron as she starts to approach the counter to stand beside the other woman; places it palm-up right beneath the scrawl that reads Nia in all caps.

Kara, in turn, just lets out an exasperated sigh and closes her eyes, tight enough that Lena can hazard two guesses on what she’s thinking: she’s wishing for Nia to disappear, or for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

She twists a little to meet Nia, despite also having known her three days after her first ever visit to the cafe, smiles at her teasingly. “Enchanté?”

“Oooh,” Nia hums, eyes sparkling with amusement and looking impressed as she turns to whisper to Kara. Or at least she thinks she does. “Your lady doth speaketh French. Taste, muy bien.”

“That’s not even Fr—I—” Kara fumbles for words, but ends up just pushing Nia out of Lena’s view when she fails to come up with something else and before Nia can wreak further havoc, especially on Kara’s already dwindling spirits.

Lena watches her walk away, the sound of her cackle filling in the air until Kara speaks again. “Sorry about that.” She pushes her glasses back up, shaking the last ten minutes away with a more steady smile this time. “I—your usual right? That’d be two dollars and fifty cents.”

Lena hands Kara a ten matched with one of her charmed smiles. The rest of its change goes to the shop’s tip jar like it always does, and the effects of the same smile colors the tips of Kara’s ears, charming Lena right back.

(There’s a reason why Lena has always been Nia’s favorite customer. A ton, really, though Kara will always have more.)

“Thank you!” Kara tells her—more like squeaks, really. Lena doesn’t stand a chance of not being endeared. “I’ll be right by your table to bring your Au Lait once it’s ready. Same spot?”

“Of course. You know where to find me.”

Kara beams at her then, wide and bright, as if the remnants of her earlier nervousness she has completely shaken away.

And it’s like a shock to her system that Lena only ever gets from coffee, as warm as the first sip she takes after she’s let it cool a little, with a sprinkle of sugar and something else incredibly nice that Lena doesn’t quite have a name yet.

…

Seven minutes and fifteen pounding lub dubs later—when she catches Kara’s eyes just as she’s handing the change to another customer, and Kara sends her another one of her smiles that Lena’s honestly starting to think she’s more hooked into than coffee itself—her Au Lait arrives.

Nia’s drawn a gear over the foam, which Lena incredibly appreciates and kind of also hates because of how steady Nia’s hands must have been, and she may be a tad bit jealous of that.

“It was just half yesterday,” Lena says by way of greeting, though she’s unable to keep the awe from her tone.

Kara laughs softly, and then lifts the mug up the tray to set it in front of Lena. “Nia’s been practicing. I think she’s trying to find a better gig than this.”

I am not, floats from behind the counter, a feigned affronted sound that Nia easily follows with, “But if Lena wants her own personal barista, I am very much open to discussion.”

“And if I do,” Lena replies, equally teasing. “You’ll be my first call.”

“Hear that, K?” Nia yells towards Kara this time. “So if I were you I’d chop-chop.”

“Ignore her,” Kara says; even makes a show of doing so.

“Like, today, Miss Danvers.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kara mouths. 

A part of Lena does feel sorry for her, for the helpless look that’s starting to take over her face. But a bigger part of Lena is admittedly enjoying such banter; feels like Kara is more at ease here than when she’s at university, and Lena loves that for reasons she’s still resisting to name.

(But it’s there, was at the back of her throat the week before, but then Kara’s asked her what she knew about quantum entanglement during their shared walk to Quantum Mechanics class and it slid further up and then out; now dangles at the tip of her tongue, so ready to be let loose.)

She’s saved from saying anything that she can classify as stupid by Kara clearing her throat. Kara’s smile is back, albeit it’s a little shaky. Though the tremble her hand makes, as it sets the slice of cake right next to where Lena’s coffee mug is, is much more noticeable. 

But Lena chooses not to comment on it, much to Kara’s relief. She pulls her hand back, wiping them both on her apron more as a nervous habit than a conscious move.

“I don’t remember ordering cake,” Lena says, but it’s not unkind.

Kara nips at her bottom lip, then frees it before answering. “It’s on the house.”

“Oh.” Lena isn’t—definitely isn’t—mesmerized by that sight. “Well, thank you.”

“It’s—I’ve been working on my baking. Alex says I may have the knack for it. She’s my sister by the way. She—she owns this place. She and her girlfriend. You may have met them once, when Nia and I had to miss work for some symposium thing at school. Not—not that I’m saying you’re here every day. Or that that’s a bad thing. In fact it’s a good—I’m very glad. Just super glad. That you are. Here, I mean.” 

Lena’s able to pick a ton of things from that. But she doesn’t really think she has the emotional capability to unpack most of it right now, not when Kara’s standing right in front of her, fiddling with the hem of her apron nervously as she tries—and fails—not to stare at Lena, and Lena feels a weakness in her knees that only Kara has ever made her feel. So she chooses on the closest—lightest part to focus on. “Baking, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kara nods. “It’s my first cake of the day.”

Lena playfully narrows her eyes. “So I’m your guinea pig?”

“What?” Kara panics—well, almost does, if not for the laugh Lena cushions her teasing comment with. “It’s—no! I tried it first.”

(Just in case she somehow has mistaken salt for sugar again. But of course she doesn’t tell Lena that.)

“I’m just kidding, Kara,” Lena appeases. She shifts her gaze towards the slice of sweet pastry, noting the minced pieces of carrots spread cleanly all over the two layers. Lena knows it’s a total coincidence, but no one really has to know that she’d like to think it’s more, that Kara has picked her favorite out of all the possible choices.

Like quantum entanglement, her mind echoes.

“I’m sure it’s delicious. It certainly looks like it.”

“I really hope so,” Kara answers, nipping at her bottom lip again. “Or I’d be really, really embarrassed.”

“You’d never have to be.”

Silence fills the space again. But Lena feels something stretch over between them, feels it stronger when Kara twists as if to return to her spot by the cashier and says, “Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your day.”

It stretches further as Kara starts walking away, and then snaps taut when Kara gains one more step. It snaps Lena back into attention in turn, her mouth moving before her brain can even catch up to her. “Kara!”

Kara wheels around, tilting her head to look at Lena expectantly. “Yes?”

“Do you give baking lessons?” Lena then asks—and, okay, maybe her brain hasn’t really fully caught up yet.

“Sorry?”

“Do you—can you teach me how to bake?” Yes, definitely hasn’t caught up to her thought process yet. Her mouth and her brain really needs to cooperate. “It’s just, my brother’s birthday is coming up, and I was thinking I’ll make him his own cake instead of buying one.”

Maybe even put Happy Birthday, Baldie as the message, and, okay, maybe it isn’t too bad of an idea after all.

“I—” Kara begins to say, looking like she’s at a loss too. Lena can’t really blame her either. Yet, Kara agrees in the end, and Lena definitely doesn’t know how to deal with that. “Sure.”

In the heat of the moment—Lena will later on say, will refuse to call it anything but that—she grabs the book she’s set on the table, flipping to one of the blank pages at the very back. And then, she looks up at Kara, tipping her chin up to gesture towards the pen tucked inside one of the pockets of Kara’s apron. “Can I borrow your pen?”

Kara hands it wordlessly, and it’s only the slight crinkle in between her brows who speaks for her own confusion.

Lena will also later on say that there is a part of her that feels pained as she tears off half of the blank page. But for now, she does it without a single hint of remorse, and then scribbles out ten digits that may or may not set the next years of her life.

“Call me? And then we can talk about it.”

…

(Much, much later on, Lena will definitely say she’s never been more thankful for a slice of cake and a half-sized piece of paper.

It’s not in her vows, but she does tell Kara at some point, under a sea of stars, and amidst the sound of calm waves hitting the shore and her very own breathing finally coming down from a soaring height.)

…

“Figures. Your lady likes veggies in her pastries. That’s just so wrong.”

“Your favorite pie is literally pumpkin.”

“It’s an ancient recipe and has been proven to actually taste good. Carrot, though? It’s like, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

“Nia.”

“Yeah, yeah, it got you the girl anyway.”

[barrysjumpsuit]

blindsided - oc (barry’s sister) x rafe cameron (ch.6)

series masterlist  • series playlist

wc: 3.1k

synposis:  christy is a lifelong resident of the outer banks. after a series of hookups with rafe cameron, kook royalty, she’s smitten. what she doesn’t know is about what her boyfriend and brother are involved in behind her back

warnings: use of guns, cannabis use, verbal/physical abuse and violence, cigarette use

a/n: the last chapter! i might have write up an epilogue if anyone wants one?? this was so fun to write and i don’t have any works in progress so please send me requests!

---

Rafe threw his truck into park, and stumbled out onto the tall grass. He was surprised he made it all the way to the Cut, with his pounding headache and waves of anxiety, panic, and fear that shook his body. The previous night’s events were too fresh on his mind.

He remembered seeing the cop, her gun pointed at his father. Then his father in handcuffs. Then John B was blaming his father for awful, horrible things. For killing his father, for stealing gold. 

Rafe’s brain was already off from withdrawal. That much was obvious to him - he had hit Christy, he had destroyed his bedroom. 

Rafe had destroyed himself.

He hardly realized that he pulled the trigger until it was too late, until Peterkin was laying on the ground, blood pooling around her. Rafe had hardly registered the yells and screams around him, and instead, blindly obeyed his father, telling him to return home, that he would handle it.

From there, he learned his father blamed John B for the whole incident. Rafe had found Topper and then Kelce, caught up in the manhunt, distracting his brain and fueling his rage.

And somehow, someway, here Rafe was, needing to escape his mind.

“Barry,” he called, pulling open the screen door into the living room. “Barry,” he repeated.

Barry was doubled over, doing a line. He sat up as he finished, snorting and wiping his nose before he answered. “Heyyy, what’s up, Country Club?”

“I need cocaine, Barry. I… I need it.”

“Ay, you lied to me, and I don’t like it when people do that. And, that was it right there, brother.”

Rafe could feel his body and mind weaken at Barry’s words. He tore through the trailer, opening cabins, stumbling down the hallway and into Barry’s room, trying to ignore Christy’s bedroom right across the hallway. “That’s bullshit, Barry!” he yelled, throwing open Barry’s closet doors.

“Yo, get out of my room!” Barry said, grabbing Rafe and throwing him back into the hallway.

 He stumbled down onto the floor in the kitchen. “Barry.... Barry, I fucked up.” 

Rafe could hear his labored breaths, and feel himself shaking.

“Hey, you’re good, you’re good, dog,” Barry was saying. “I’m sure you did, Country Club,” Barry continued, his voice almost a purr as he pulled out a chair and sat down in front of him. “But I can assure you, I’ve done worse. But y’know, my sister isn’t very happy with you.”

Rafe grasped at his hair, Barry’s words crushing him even more. He was crying, but didn’t care. “Barry… I did… something, and now I’m fucked, and like... for life, and I can’t get out of it.”

“My sister know about whatever it is you did?” Barry asked, and Rafe shook his head. “Hey, don’t come here telling me there’s no way out, because that’s a lie,” Barry was saying. “What you need to do is you need to nut up, bro. I got a big fuckin’ problem here, Rafe, you see me crying about it?” Barry fake cried, and Rafe glared at him, anger and adrenaline coursing through him. “No. Rafe, I ain’t got no money, them kids took it. But one of them kids got a twenty-five g reward on him. You help me out, I help you out, I can’t get no more product until I get some money.”

“John B,” Rafe whispered. He looked up to Barry; he sat with his forearms leaning on the back of the chair, grinning. 

“That’s the one,” Barry said, leaning forwards towards Rafe. He could smell his breath. “And when they get him, he’s gonna start snitchin’. On me, on you, on your girlfriend, and I don’t want that happening, cause we’ll all be fucked. What about you, Country Club?”

“No…”

“That’s gonna happen unless we get to him first. So how about we go get him?”

---

“What?”

Christy was still on the ground, shaking. She could feel her nose and lip bleeding, the gravel digging into her skin. 

“Someone’s in trouble,” Barry grinned, and Rafe kicked him again.

“Rafe!” Christy screamed, grabbing onto his legs, trying to wrestle him to the ground. 

“Baby, I swear, I didn’t mean to-” Rafe was saying, crying, shutting down. 

“But you did,” she just said, dumbly, in shock. 

It was at that moment that Christy realized she didn’t really know who he was. She had overlooked everything. He was a manipulative, violent drug addict. He had murdered a cop. He had kept so much from her, while she poured her heart out to him, and would have gone to the ends of the earth to help him, to make him happy.

She realized she was still clinging to his leg, and she crawled backwards, repulsed, to end up beside Barry. 

“Rafe… why?”

“She was about to arrest my dad,” he responded, his voice breaking, but she felt no sympathy. 

“So you fucking shot her?” Christy countered back, and she saw his face visibly break.

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t myself…” he was saying, breathless. 

“And you knew?” she asked Barry, shoving him roughly. 

“I’m not either of your all’s mother,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “All I knew is that he needed something to take the edge off, and that I needed my money back from those kids.”

“I can’t fucking believe you two,” she spat, pushing herself away from Barry this time. Some blood came out of her mouth as she spoke. “So what’s your big plan now, huh? Barry, he got away, no reward money for you. Congratulations, Rafe, you’re a fucking murderer. So now what?”

She saw Barry and Rafe exchange a glance. Rafe was visibly shaking from the anger. 

“You’re a little team now? Barry, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“I own him now,” Barry slurred, grinning.

In that moment, Rafe crouched, picked up his gun, and aimed it back at Barry. Christy reached to grab hers, but Rafe kicked it away, wagging a finger at her. 

“Rafe, if you shoot him, you know what’s going to happen? You’re going to jail.”

“Actually, Christy, I’ll be able to get out of here. You won’t be able to bring yourself to lay a hand on me. And if you rat to the cops, I’m going to rat right back about your operation,” Rafe said. The man in front of Christy was completely foreign, one she had never met before. “It’s your word against mine, and I don’t think your criminal record will help you out.”

He was right. 

“So I can do whatever the fuck I want,” Rafe finished, gripping the gun tighter.

---

Rafe remembered when he sobered up the first time.

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done. 

That was the first time he ran to Christy. There had always been something between them, but he was too scared to admit it to anyone, even himself. Topper would shun him, Kelce would insist he could do better with literally any kook. Rafe knew that Christy wasn’t an ordinary pogue.

They had interacted a few times before. At keggers, when they ran into each other at Barry’s place. He didn’t fail to notice her lingering glances, but she never made a move.

Rafe was drunk the first night they hooked up. They were at a kegger at the Boneyard, Christy slinking throughout the mass of people handing out joints. She wasn’t drinking, just a little stoned, mellowed out and laughing freely. Her dark hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, the navy blue of her bikini top almost blending in with the dark seawater.

Topper went home with Sarah, and Kelce with his girl, leafing Rafe alone. It was shitty of them, and they knew it. Rafe couldn’t be trusted alone, especially in his current headspace. 

So he made a move. He sought out Christy. So few things brought him pleasure those days, and he knew what he wanted. 

She seemed surprised. She agreed to go home with him. She drove his truck back to his place, because she didn’t think going to her place, with Barry, with the drugs, was a good idea. She made sure he wasn’t going to get sick, she made sure he used protection.

Christy was there for him. Every step of the way. In the morning, he pushed her away, realizing who he had hooked up with. A pogue, his ex drug dealer’s baby sister. 

But still, she came back for him when he needed her. She made him feel good, like he could do anything, without the drugs.

When Rafe was finally clean, out of the “withdrawal” phase, he pushed her away. He had his eyes set on tourons and other kooks. He could get anyone he wanted, without the strings Christy had attached to her. After almost a year, he realized that it was those strings he liked: he liked being with someone totally unlike him, someone whose entire life was dedicated to those she loved, and he liked being someone she loved.

That night at Topper’s house, when Rafe saw her, his heart skipped a beat. He had seen her around since they had hooked up, and he started wanting her back in his life more and more. 

That night at Topper’s house, he knew he had to make the jump.

He watched her all evening. Do her normal thing. Fake flirt just to make a deal. Exaggerate her laughs and her smiles. Rafe could see right through it all, that she just wanted to get out of here. When she wandered away to her two friends, lighting a joint, Rafe knew it was time.

The rest was history.

She poured her heart out to him, and him to her. When Rafe was with Christy, it was like he was living a life he had never lived before. He didn’t have to worry about impressing his father, because to Christy, he was already perfect. 

Rafe knew, deep down, he was using her. Just like when he was using drugs. He just couldn’t bring himself to admit it.

---

“Rafe,” Christy said. She was aware of how weak her voice sounded. “You can’t shoot him. You never would.”

“Shut up!” he yelled, this time, waving the gun towards Christy. “You don’t know me!”

The gun was on her, and she was frozen. It wasn’t the first time she had been in this position, but it was the first time it had been with someone like Rafe. 

“I know you better than you think,” she replied. “Rafe, I know you hate your life, and I know you can’t bring yourself to fucking shoot the two people who work to make your life better. Without Barry, without me, where would you be?”

Suddenly, Rafe grabbed the front of Christy’s t-shirt and pinned her against his truck. Barry yelled something, but Rafe kicked him, and pressed the gun to the bottom of Christy’s jaw.

“Barry, you move, your sister’s dead!” he yelled. Christy met her brother’s frantic eyes before returning to Rafe’s. He leaned his face towards hers, his lips peeled back in a snarl. “You don’t know me.”

A split second was all it took. 

Barry threw himself onto Rafe, the gun firing. Christy dropped to the ground on her stomach, the gravel digging into her stomach, grabbing her discarded gun and levelling it towards Rafe from where she was laying.

Rafe was the only one standing. Barry had a hold of his gun, training it on him, grinning wickedly despite the blood dripping down his other arm, which he held close to his body.

“Rafe, you get the fuck out of here, and our mouths are shut and yours better be too,” Christy said with an unnerving calmness, shooting Barry a look. He glared back at her but didn’t argue. “And I never want to see you again.” 

There was a long period of silence and no movement from anyone. Rafe was visibly evaluating his options. Then, he moved, Barry and Christy’s guns following him until he climbed back in his truck and drove away.

Both Christy and her brother stayed on the ground, stunned. It wasn’t until then that she realized how badly she was shaking, dropping the gun back to the ground in disgust.

“Hey, Chris,” Barry said, pulling her out of her trance. He was sitting ten feet from her, his hand pressed over his bloody arm. 

“You good?” he asked as she looked over at him, and she nodded, but was still unable to move, processing everything that had happened in the past five minutes.

Rafe pulling up. Pulling a gun on Barry. Pointing a gun at her. He hit her, he threatened her, and told her he killed Peterkin, pressed a gun to her head. The look he had in his eye was foreign - it wasn’t the Rafe she knew. She had told herself she would stay with him through his best and through his worst, but she never realized he could stoop so low.

Christy had known, deep down, that Rafe was using her. At least that’s what happened the first time. But when he came back for her, there was something there. She had pushed those thoughts away, but they resurfaced too late.

Barry’s touch finally fully brought her back. She could feel the wetness of blood from his hand on her arm, and she shoved his hand away, looking at his arm. The discharged bullet had ripped through the inner muscle of his bicep.

“Barry…” she said dumbly, going to take off her shirt to press around it or tie it around it or do something to stop the bleeding. Her brother protested, but she shut him up with a quick “let me be the one to take care of you, okay?”

The words came out of her mouth without her even thinking, and Christy realized her ultimate flaw. She cared too much for everyone. Maybe it was from a lack of people truly caring for her, but she knew that a lot of her love for Rafe was due to the fact that he was broken and she was able to fix him.

Temporarily, at least.

You failed, her brain told her, but she pushed the thought away as her fingers were coated in blood from her brother’s arm. Christy knew he had been through worse when he was in the Army, but she didn’t care.

“Come here,” he coaxed as she finished tying the shirt around his arm. He pulled her into a one-armed hug, her face in his chest, and she cried.

---

That night, after walking back home with her brother and making sure his arm was okay, Christy packed a bowl and walked out to the end of the dock to watch the sunset. 

As she smoked, she thought about the constants in her life. There weren’t many. There was Barry, of course. That’s all she came up with at first. But then, she realized she loved where she lived, even if it meant existing on the same island as Rafe Cameron. She liked the sunshine that warmed her skin. She liked the waves she could escape in on her surfboard. She liked the shorebirds, hopping around the beaches terrorizing the tourons.

Those were things that would never go away. While there may be more Rafe Camerons in the future, or maybe someone better than Rafe Cameron.

As Christy laid back on the dock, she remembered her stoned thoughts from a few weeks before. The world is like a snowglobe. Agatha shook everything up. Most people settled, their lives back to normal. Some flakes rested precariously on trees, on houses, on people. They had a new vantage point, but gravity was always trying to suck them back down to the ground.

She remembered that she viewed herself as the snowflake, with Rafe as her pillar of support, but Christy realized that was all wrong. Rafe was the snowflake. Rafe was the one who was unstable, seeing the world as he never had before. With Christy, he was exposed to the rough and tumble life of those who lived on the Cut, packing weed into emptied-out cigarettes, spending nights in stuffy, humid trailers without electricity. Christy was his tree, holding him up, supporting him.

Rafe had fallen hard off that tree. 

He went back to old habits. Nothing had changed about him. He was continuously exploited by his father, wrapped up by the scandals that came with life as a kook, especially as a Cameron. Rafe had pushed her away, surrounding himself with people who lived the same life he did instead.

It was at this realization that Christy understood. She came to peace with herself. 

She stood, walking back across the dock. Barry had built a fire and was sitting in one of the beat-up lawn chairs, watching it. One arm was bandaged. One hand held a beer, several discarded cans laying on the ground beside him.

“The alcohol will thin your blood and make you bleed more,” Christy said flatly, sitting down in the chair next to him.

“You got any weed left on you, then?” he asked, his words slightly slurred. She knew he had an embarrassingly low tolerance, and handed him her pipe and lighter.

“Should still be some in there, I repacked it not long ago,” she said, but he was already coughing out smoke.

“You already over him?” Barry asked after he recovered. 

Christy looked at him through her hooded eyes and smiled, lighting a cigarette now that Barry had her pipe. “There’s nothing I could have done for that boy and nothing he would have done for me. Rafe Cameron is Rafe Cameron. I shouldn’t have been stupid enough to not see that.”

“You live and you learn, baby sister,” Barry said, raising the pipe up in a toast. She lightly hit her cigarette against it, taking a long hit. 

Nights like these were what she had as a constant in her life. People come and go, but Christy was always going to exist. What she realized now is that she could control who to give her love to. She would continue to love her brother, no matter how much he pissed her off. She vowed to continue to love herself, and not let any more toxic people in her life.

As Christy smoked her cigarette, she smiled to herself, knowing that she got something out of her time with Rafe Cameron. In reality, she and him weren’t that different.  Before Rafe, she was lost, just trying to find someone to love before chasing her next high, broken by their pasts.

But now, Christy knew who she was and where she belonged. She was a pogue from the Cut and proud of it.

--

taglist  @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @ims0golden @ampanonyg @hoeforpankow @jjsmentalpolaroids @queenk00k @drewstarkey @obbx-tings @bricksatanakinswindow @sortagaysortahigh @prejudic3   @delinquentstarkey  @rudypankow-whore @drewxxrudy​ @jjmaybcnks

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!