#i remember the first i read it i didn't cry (immediately) or anything i just stood there shocked

[garvalhaminho]

guys guess who decided to reread livvy's death to feel something 😀

[electrosuite]

okay. al. i need something put into words. idk if you've seen it but in "we live in time" andrew and florence didn't hear cut when filming a sex scene. so i was wondering. could you do something where eddie has taken up acting. it's an experimental movie, so y'all are actually fucking. it's unsimulated sex. y'all don't hear cut, but you're so into it that neither of you stop. you don't notice until he cums, then you both remember the cameras.

warnings: swearing, fingering oral sex, descriptive sex, sex on camera

word count: 2.3k

a/n: i saw we live in time opening week and absolutely loved it. put andrew garfield's bare ass in more movies!!!

masterlist

One of the best decisions you'd made was moving to Hollywood to pursue acting. You loved it, and you were a natural. You could make yourself cry on command, you often lost yourself in scenes, and you weren't afraid to get nude on camera. That was something that was pretty common for the 80s, specifically female nudity.

You'd filmed many sex scenes in your career, but they were all simulated. Prosthetics, body doubles, cushions between bodies. But when you were approached to do an experimental film, one with completely unsimulated sex, your curiosity was piqued.

You were told you wouldn't meet the other actor until the day of, which turned out to be the first day on set. You were told that some studios, this one included, preferred to get sex scenes out of the way first and film the rest after. Your first impression of this guy would be when you had sex with him.

So when you were sitting on set in your tight black dress — which would be removed in the scene — and he walked in, your eyes widened. He was very handsome, just your type. He had long curly black hair, he was covered in tattoos, and immediately started joking around with the crew. He was wearing a suit, one which fit his body nicely.

When he spotted you, he walked right over and sat next to you.

"You my co-star?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

"That would be me."

"Eddie." He stuck his hand out and you shook it.

"Y/N."

"You look familiar. I feel like I've seen you in something else before."

"Maybe. Sorry, but I don't recognize you."

"I haven't been in anything big, just a couple of low-budget movies." He noticed your nervous energy. "You okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, just... I've never done anything... real. It's always been fake sex."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Well, it's a first for both of us, then. It's a first-first for me, I've never done anything like this."

"Really?"

"Yep. Never even taken my shirt off on camera."

"And you're just jumping right in, huh?"

"Why not? If I'm gonna do it, I might as well go all in."

"Well, are you at least experienced?" you joked.

"Oh, I'm experienced. Yeah." You chuckled. "Also, I was told to tell you that they had me go ahead and put a condom on so it wouldn't disrupt the flow or anything. They said you were pretty adamant about it."

"Thank god. I really don't want to leave here today pregnant."

This made both of you laugh, but it was true. That was the most important thing to you when agreeing to do this movie.

"Alright, actors in positions," announced the director, who settled into his chair next to the camera.

Before you could get up, Eddie looked back at you. "Hey, I know we'll be recording, but don't let that stop you from telling me if I'm crossing any boundaries, alright?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Thank you."

"Of course."

The scene immediately started with the two of you standing at the edge of a bed, inches away from each other. So that's where you went, your calves touching the mattress.

You'd read over the script for this scene numerous times. There was a camera a few feet from the bed, and one strapped onto the ceiling above where you would be laying. Neither of you would speak, just moan.

You were getting more nervous by the second, the lack of space between you two making your heart pound.

"Hey," he whispered, making eye contact with you. "You still good?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I'm good." You got yourself into the acting mindset as they finalized the cameras. "Ready."

"Quiet on set," yelled the director. Everyone hushed, the silence making you realize how many eyes were on you. "Action!"

You reached up and slowly undid Eddie's tie, his eyes never leaving your face. Once it was on the floor, he pulled you in for a kiss. It was gentle yet deep, both of you taking in a deep breath. His hands gripped your sides, your palms flat against his chest.

He reached around you and unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the floor. He then effortlessly unhooked your bra and you pulled it off of yourself. So far this was exactly like some of the other scenes you'd filmed. It was always a little bit nerve-wracking to expose yourself on camera — how could it not be?

He pushed you down onto the bed, his knees on the edge between yours.

He wasn't supposed to kiss you as long as he did. It was only supposed to be a couple before he moved on, but he was going off script a bit. His hand cupped the breast visible to the camera, which was now a bit closer.

He began kissing down to your neck a bit, then trailing along your body. He wrapped his lips around your nipple, his tongue circling it. You couldn't help but tangle your fingers in his hair, knowing it would help the scene.

As he kissed down your body, he maintained eye contact with you, watching to make sure you were still comfortable with this. Once he was to your thighs, he knelt down next to the bed and pulled you by the legs closer to him.

He slowly pulled your underwear off, dropping them on top of your dress. He continued to leave kisses on your thighs, making a genuine and impatient whine escape your mouth.

The feeling of his tongue on your clit made you gasp, your hands immediately finding their way back to his hair. This was weird with cameras, and at first it made it hard for you to really get in the mood.

But he was good with his tongue. You were so used to fake moaning that the real ones that came out of you felt foreign. His hands on your thighs, keeping them spread, were also keeping your hips still.

Usually when you filmed cunnilingus scenes, they kept their mouth closed and just positioned their face between your legs. So it was a foreign feeling to actually be eaten out on camera.

He couldn't stop staring at you, you looked so beautiful. Your head thrown back, back arched, tits out and nipples hard, fingers pulling his hair.

He wasn't supposed to make you cum, the script didn't call for it. He was supposed to do this for about thirty seconds and move on to the actual sex. But he was told that if the scene lasted too long, they could just edit it down. So he decided before even meeting you that he would make sure you had at least one orgasm today.

And it didn't take you long to get there. The camera had moved now so that it was behind him and to the side, getting a shot of his back and your face simultaneously.

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself as you felt your orgasm approaching, and fast. You were worried about how you would look, actually cumming and being recorded. You were trying to remain as calm as you possibly could, but you'd never been eaten out like this.

You were much louder than you anticipated when you finally came, and Eddie had to hold you down to keep you in the shot. When he finally stopped, he was immediately back to kissing you. He was still fully clothed, so you pushed his jacket off of his shoulders.

Instead of unbuttoning his shirt, he just pulled it over his head. He had a beautiful body, and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. You reached down and helped remove his belt, but he took over a moment later.

Within a minute, he was completely nude, and you got a good view of what he was packing. You were told before the shoot that you'd be having unprotected sex, and as you were already on birth control, it wasn't that big of a deal to you. Or at least, it wasn't until you were finally here. Now it was sinking in that you were about to be creampied by a guy you just met less than five minutes ago.

He was already rock hard, the sounds that escaped your mouth having gotten him bricked up immediately. He loved giving oral. It was one of his favorite things in the world. If it was up to him, he would've kept going, gotten you completely out of your mind before fucking your brains out.

He positioned himself back at eye level with you, reaching down and lining himself up with your entrance.

"That okay?" he whispered into your neck as he pressed kisses to your skin. He wasn't supposed to say that, the script calling for no dialogue aside from the natural swears that would occur. But he'd already gone against it, and asking for consent was something he insisted on.

"Mm," you moaned simply, nodding as minimally as possible.

With zero hesitation, he pushed into you, and the gasp that filled the room was almost comical. It was such a perfect porno moan that you couldn't believe it was genuine, even though it came from you.

He stretched you out so much, so perfectly, you weren't sure you could handle much of this. It was almost too much, too good.

He engulfed your mouth into his, kissing you deeply as he immediately picked up his pace. The bed was already squeaking, and your chest was already red.

The camera was above your head now, recording from an angle that showed the top of your thighs and your head thrown back as Eddie began sucking hickeys onto the skin of your neck.

That was when the scene was supposed to end. It was the shortest one in the script, which was another reason they wanted to get it over with first. But when the director shouted "Cut!", neither of you could hear him over the animalistic moans you both were letting out.

In fact, he called it about three times. But you two were so immersed, and your moans were so loud in each other's ears that it was useless. After a moment and after all the equipment was put down, the entire crew left the room and just allowed you to finish.

Out of all the times you'd had sex before, you didn't expect the best to be a completely scripted one. Eddie wasn't lying when he said he was experienced, he knew how to hit every nook in cranny in you like it was the millionth time.

When he felt himself getting close, he reached down and began circling your clit with his thumb. In the movies he'd seen, they always came at the same time. That didn't happen much in real life, but he wanted to make it look cinematic because, to his knowledge, they were still filming.

You gasped at the sudden contact, not expecting it. Thirty seconds later, you were cumming in sync, moaning into each other's mouths. He kept it going as long as he could but eventually he had to stop. Both his and your legs were trembling, sweat beading on your upper lip.

He kissed you for a moment, thinking in his head how great that would look on camera.

But when you both looked over at where the crew was, they were gone. You were confused, wondering why they didn't film as much as possible.

"Oh my god," you said, looking back up at Eddie. "Did they yell cut?"

His eyes widened. "Did they?"

"Did you hear them at all?"

"No, I didn't. Did you?"

"No."

You couldn't help but giggle at the situation. "Holy fucking shit."

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck."

"That's kind of hilarious."

He pulled out of you, pulling the condom off before grabbing one of the robes from the crates behind the camera, tossing another one to you. He opened the door to the rest of the set and the crew's heads shot up to look at him.

"Did... you yell cut?" he asked the director.

"Yep. Three times. You guys were so into it we figured we'd just let you finish."

That was when you laughed even harder, your head fuzzy and body tired.

After everything was cleaned up and you were heading back to your trailers, you caught up with Eddie outside his.

"Sorry we didn't hear cut earlier," you apologized.

"I'm not." He smirked slyly, and you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"Do you think you'd do something like this again? Real sex on a set?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. With the right person."

"Well, if I get another opportunity like this, you're the first person I'm recommending."

"God, please do." His voice was raspy now, seductive, sultry. Normally you didn't pay any mind to men who flirted with you. But something about actually fucking Eddie seemed to form some kind of bond, maybe just in your head.

You reached into your pocket and pulled out a napkin, which had your phone number written on it. You leaned in close, wanting this to stay between the two of you.

"Well, if you ever want to do something without cameras, call me." You turned around to walk to your trailer, his eyes glued to your ass the whole time.

He swore he could get rock hard again right now if he wanted to. Something was different about you. You were one of the best fucks he'd ever had, and he intended on using that phone number sometime soon.

[nyahchan]

Ok, here we go. Cryptid x Reader, where the Reader is on a hike with friends and said friends prank the reader in a really mean way causing them to run off and start crying. The Cryptid stumbles upon reader crying and for some reason misinterprets this as reader seeking a mate and starts doing a mating dance thing that the reader starts out being confused by and a little scared but then they start giggling and think it's really pretty, but then that is misinterpreted as accepting the Cryptid and the Cryptid is soooo happy that this little human wants their eggs! And obviously the crying is just from nerves, so they'll just hum and sing until the get all sleepy and fuck their eggs into them. And they'll be so happy when the wake up safe in the Cryptid's nest and so full and pregnant!

Sorry if that was long and weird lol my brain just kept going.

A Cryptid's mate

Yandere cryptid x gn reader

TW:non-con, implied killing, toxic friends, attempted murder, monster fucking, somnophilia, extremely rough non-con, blood, breeding

Author's note:- you didn't specify the gender so I tried to write it in a way that any gender can read it with whatever pronouns as I made sure not to add any

For you guys see this

Humans are stupid and weird, they tell others to be careful of the red signs yet they themselves seem to ignore them.

You are unfortunately one of those foolish humans, you saw the signs yet you chose to ignore them, you knew better than anyone else that these people who stand in front of you laughing right now, calling themselves your "friends" are just wolves in sheeps's clothings. Your eyes start to blur as you remember being so excited when your "friends" asked you to go on a hiking trip with them, there was a slight voice in the back of your head, asking numerous questions about why they would suddenly ask you to hang out with them in an activity considering they never included you in anything, but you were naive and hopeful and you decided to agree.

During the hike, your "friends" kept on whispering to each other and giggling, you couldn't understand why until they reach the middle of the forest where suddenly one of your "friends" shoved you and another took your hiking bag and began rummaging through it, throwing everything on the forest floor.You couldn't understand why, you tried to tell them to stop, but they kept on snickering "There's a dangerous bug that fell in your bag from one of the trees!" said one of them as they threw all your belongings on the floor and then "accidentally" stepped on them. You tried to brush it off as a kind gesture that went wrong, you tried to smile through it but deep down you knew, they did it on purpose.

Now most of the items you had brought for the hike was ruined, your bag had mud on it as well as the items that didn't get ruined. You all continued walking through the forest, going deeper and deeper inside when you guys are met with a river with high current going downstream, there's a path over it to walk through. Your "friends" tell you to walk on the path first ,feeling pressured,you do exactly that but as soon as you do, one of them pushed you into the river,you see in the corner of your eyes that they are grinning as you fall into the river. Your immediate survival insticts start working and you grab onto a large stone in the river and push yourself out, your bag flowing down the river. You're gagging and choking on air as you frantically ask them why they did it and the only thing you get in response is "it's a prank relaxxx" but you can't anymore, tears run down your face, you eyes get blurry and without thinking straight , you run off to whatever direction your feet take you to, you don't look back, you don't look front either, you're vision too blurry from the tears as you cry and run, your wet clothes making lots of splashing noise as it hugs your body, your undergarments fully visible through your clothes now.

Before you know it, you're in the middle of yet another forest except here, there are no trail tracks for hikers, but you don't care, you're too busy crying at the thought that your own "friends" tried to kill you, you cry by yourself, or at least that's what you think as right behind you stands a strange creature, not human, but not full monster, a cryptid or whatever humans nowadays decide to call his specifies, but it looks human and for some reason, it's extremely handsome. The cryptid man watches you cry from behind, you're so drowned in sorrow that you don't even realize there's a monster man behind you. He watches you cry and ponders on what might be the reason for such an adorable little human to be crying all by themselves in his territory, the territory where cryptids live, the territory he rules, the territory far away from human knowledge?And then it suddenly clicks in his mind, you're crying because you can't find a mate. Good news for you, he's also looking for one!

The cryptid immediately jumps in front of you, making his presence known to you. You're immediately startled and frightened at the creature in front of you, you rub your eyes to wipe the tears away and take in the appearance of said creature, it's around 8 feet tall, is muscular, looks so weird yet also like a human, his face is chizzled and he looks so handso- you shake your head and then look at the creature with a look of terror, but that immediately turns to confusion as the cryptid starts doing this weird funky dance, to you, it's a goofy silly dance, to him, it's a mating ritual and the second you crack a smile and start giggling at his mating ritual, he thinks you have accepted his proposal, he's so happy that this cute little human wants to be his mate, he can barely wait in anticipation as he sees your wet clothes sticking to your absolutely delicious body! The cryptid immediately picks you up like paper and carries you even deeper into the forest, you start panicking and try to struggle in the creature's grip but it's futile. Upon seeing your struggle, the cryptid interprets it as you're probably just nerves, but that's okay! He can just hum and sing to you so you feel relaxed cause he needs to make sure his mate is relaxed as he's gonna get his little human pregnant with his seed! And so starts humming a song, occasionally singing it while he keeps taking you deeper and deeper into the forest, before long, you stop struggling and fall limp in his arms as you fall asleep. The cryptid is happy that you're finally relaxed as he places you in his lavish and comfortable nest.

Your clothes are no longer on your body, thrown somewhere in a forgotten corner. Your unconscious body spread apart as you're being split on his large girthy cock, all that can be heard is the wet clenching noises of his inhuman cock hitting deep inside you, slapping against your skin. He plays with your nipples, licking, turning and twisting them, earning a moan from your coma like sleep state. Moans escape your mouth so often even though you're asleep, he's glad that he decided to put you to bed before fucking and breeding your tiny little human body as you definitely would've gotten hurt otherwise as blood drips down from the skin that tore which was expected considering his cock is way too big, so girthy and meaty and the tip is like a mushroom. At one point, you wake up but the immense pain you feel immediately causes you to pass out. The cryptid kisses your lips as it feels itself nearing his release after 3 hours of constant abuse on your tiny body and within a few minutes, he ejaculates inside you, his eggs spilling so deep inside you, your stomach starts bloating a bit and then bloats a lot. You look absolutely divine , filled with his eggs! Although not all of them wi fertiloze, at least one or two will, and he's so excited to see his little human mate all round and pregnant with his spawns!

When you awaken again, you're lying on a fluffy nest, your eyes hazy, you feel dizzy, you feel heavier, you feel extremely sore and in pain to the point tears start trickling down your face, suddenly a pair of rough hands touch you from behind, one caressing your stomach while the other is caressing your face, wiping the tears off of it, you can't do anything but cry "I'm sorry, you must be in a lot of pain, there was lot of blood, don't worry I stitched you up" you wonder how this creature even knows human language, or where he got the tools for stitches or how he knew how to do it, your mind runs a 100 miles a second,youre too scared and exhausted to move so you just whimper when from the corner of your eyes, you spot familiar clothes, you recognize them immediately as the clothes of your "friends", your eyes widen as you see blood on those clothes and your eyes try to wander further to see the full scene but the cryptid immediately covers your eyes with one hand while the other is still caressing your bloates stomach, he coos in your ear "shh darling, you're still recovering, just relax and go back to sleep, you're gonna be a mother soon, you don't need to stress about anything, I got you new clothes as gift for taking my eggs so well, I just haven't washed them yet" is all you hear before passing out again. You're now stuck with this strange creature.

[iamasimperyk]

Gold Digger

Summary: Someone told your stepson you would be a gold digger.

Warnings: Age gap, fluff, kid being a little brat, not proof read, English is not my first language

Pairing: Older!Rafe x Younger!reader

You married Rafe when you were 21 while he was 31. Before you came into his life, he was already married once and had a six-year-old son.

It was a big step for you to be with someone who had his life all sorted out, but it didn't stop you from being with Rafe in the first place.

The two of you met a few years ago in a cute little Café where you worked to get some extra money. You lived in a small flat, trying your best to pay your bills.

Since you were Rafe Cameron's wife now, you never had to pay for anything anymore. Your husband always made sure to provide you with everything you needed.

You were on your way to pick up Lucas, Rafe's son, from school.

The little boy was as charming as Rafe and saw you as his mother. His biological mother left the moment Rafe decided to divorce and never thought about her son ever again.

You remembered the day Lucas turned four. It was his first birthday without his mother. He didn't stop crying, asking constantly about his mother and why she couldn't be here on his special day. Rafe tried his best to calm his son, but nothing worked.

That moment broke your heart, and after it, you made sure to provide Lucas with all the love you could give him. That was also something Rafe noticed, and unknowingly to you, it made him fall in love with you even more.

"Mommy!" Lucas shouted as he came running out of the school entrance.

One day after he came home from kindergarten, he started calling you 'mom' all of a sudden. You looked at Rafe, who seemed as surprised as you before he started grinning.

That memory will always have a special place in your heart.

"Hey, buddy, how was your day?" You asked, leaning down a little to hug him.

"I learned a new word today." He smiled proudly.

"Oh really ?" You asked, a little confused.

Lucas nodded, "My friend, Marc, told me."

Marc. Rafe and you didn't like that boy one a bit. He was quite good at manipulating and often responsible for all sorts of trouble.

"He said you are a golddigger." Lucas smiled at you.

You were aware of the fact of what the word meant, but it seemed like Lucas wasn't.

"Oh, and why am I a gold digger?" You asked him calmly.

"Because you always look so beautiful, like gold." He gave you a grin that looked similar to your husband's.

It was clear to you that the little boy had no clue about what the word actually meant. You let out a sigh, "Sweetie, a gold digger is someone who is in a relationship because of money. Do you think I am with your dad because of money?"

He quickly shook his head, "Marc said you are a gold digger, but he didn't explain why. I just thought he said it because he thought you are beautiful."

"Sometimes people will say things you don't understand, but it's important to ask about the meaning of the words," You told him, "Also, I want you to know that Marc maybe is not a real friend if he calls someone in your family a gold digger."

"I am sorry, mom." He apologized immediately and hugged you.

"Don't worry. I just want you to know that I am no gold digger. I love you and your dad a lot." You smiled brightly and took his hand to lead him to your car.

As you told Rafe later that night about the incident, he had enough of this Marc kid and made sure your son never had to deal with him again.

[enwoso]

PINK SKIES || alessia russo

this has been in the works for a few months, just didn’t know when or if i wanted to post it as it involved quite a sensitive topic, and a topic which should be addressed in a very mature way.

this is also a topic which i hold very dear to my heart and is quite personal to me, especially since i lost someone very special to me in a similar way but i just wanted to share this as a way to raise awareness especially with september being dedicated to suicide prevention month but just you know you are appreciated, you are worth it and that there are people out there who can help and support you. please, you are not alone.🤍

WARNING: mentions of death, allusions of sui**de and just upsetting themes! please do not read if any of these topics are sensitive to you.

"thought i'd find you here" lotte cooed as she stood with a sad smile, a few metres away from alessia whom was sat on the kerbside, only the streetlight to keep her company as the sky merged into a darker, gloomier colour.

alessia turned to look at the girl she'd known her entire life, before turning back to look at what was in her hands. a crumpled piece of paper with neat hand writing on it. a piece of paper which had not left her hands all day.

alessia didn't say anything instead her fingers just toyed with the piece of paper, tears falling down her cheeks. lotte made her way cautiously towards the blonde slotting down on the kerbside next to her, placing an arm around her. alessia’s head immediately landing on the girls shoulder.

it had been a long day. goodbyes are hard. especially last goodbyes, they sting the most and leave this feeling in your heart that never seems to go away.

"it's okay, less. she had a beautiful send off" lotte whispered as she let the blonde cry in her arms knowing that this had been building all day.

"i miss her lotte..." alessia choked out sniffles escaping her as tears streamed down her face and onto the piece of paper as she felt lotte nod pulling alessia closer to her.

"i know less and that's normal- but she wouldn't want you to be sat on the kerb crying" lotte sympathised as alessia nodded lightly. she knew you wouldn't want her to be sat on the kerb, heck she knew you would have wanted a big send off like the one that had been done for you.

but grief doesn't work in the way alessia imagined. its not a straight line, there's no formula to it. it's a mess.

some days the blonde feels as though your still beside her, joking about her tripping over thin air. but other days it hits alessia and she feels all those raw emotions all at once, again.

"i- i just wish she was here- she had so much still to live for.." alessia choked out once again, her words forming into one it barely being able to be understood but lotte did. she knew what alessia meant.

you and alessia hadn't known each other very long. you of course knew of each other but that was it. just shadows in the background of the others life.

it was an england camp which brought you together, one simple conversation and it changed alessia's life forever.

a silly conversation about different types of cookies and how your favourite was jammy dodgers as you would eat around the rim and then eat the jam center — alessia thought it was the funniest thing and was always in stitches watching you eat them that way.

but she was the type of person you just clicked with. no effort was needed. the type of friend you make and then don't remember how the first interaction went.

you just went from one day being total strangers to the next being the best of friends.

“and now you have to live for her, remember the good less.” lotte tried as alessia shook her head the peice of paper still clutching to her hand.

“no lotte, i just feel like i failed her. she was my best friend how could i have let this happen, i could have helped her, done something and maybe this wouldn’t have happened,, i could-“ alessia rambled out as lotte just the let the blonde do it her cheeks tears stained as her mascara had smudged under her eyes, the blonde moving her head from resting on lotte’s shoulder.

both lotte and alessia knew there was nothing that could have been done to help you. nobody could have even noticed that you were struggled never mind how bad your mental state was.

you had been estatic finding out that alessia was moving to london and more specifically to arsenal. it meant no more countdowns to when you’d next see each other, it meant you didn’t need to sit on a train for three hours again. it meant you could see each other any time you wanted.

alessia would forever remember the excitement in your voice when she picked up her phone.

"your actually coming to london!"

"yeah i am! we are gonna be in london together!”

"i can't wait to spend every day with you less"

"me neither y/n, me neither."

or how the two of you spent the next two hours on call with each other as you listed all the places you were going to show her, the local cafe where you went for your morning coffee before training, the park where you walked your mum’s dog — rocco every day, the restaurant you always went with your sister when she came to visit.

alessia eventually making the move to arsenal after a bittersweet summer in australia not being able to come away with the world cup win but neverless having an unforgettable summer spent by your best friends side.

both you and alessia's focus moving towards the start of the new season, while also fitting in all the places you wanted to show alessia in the weekends which you had off which came few and thin.

everything in alessia's eyes was perfect, she was living in london with her best friend, she was closer to her family and she was getting to play football with her best friends day in and out.

but for you it couldn't have been further from that.

after the world cup getting back into the next season was tough for you, going from match to match without a break was hard. some weeks you were playing ninety minutes, twice a week. you were getting pushed to your limits.

you mental health had begun to take a toll, social media trolls were getting to you, one miss kick in a match and you had a huge target on your back and were the victim of online abuse. you weren't the perfect angel who was seen as a hero if you scored a goal and could do no wrong in the team.

if you scored the response was why are you not doing it every game?

if you defended well the obvious response was that's the bare minimum, that's your job as a defender.

if the team conceded it was your fault.

if you got into the england squad the response was you had taken away from someone else who actually deserved it.

in the eyes of the public you could do no right.

but no one could see you were mentally and physically struggling, your teammates thought you had just learned to not care what the public said about you on social media or thought you hadn't seen it but in reality you had probably seen it long before they did.

in videos and in real life you never didn't have a smile on your face and one thing you never stopped doing was sitting with alessia and laughing about nothing.

but at home when you were alone, your mind ate away at you. letting yourself truly believe that what people were saying online was the person you were.

“i’m so stupid though i should have noticed the signs, how she wasn’t herself” alessia carried on her rant to lotte as lotte listened. that’s what alessia needed right now, is to let it all out as alessia continued.

“less, there was nothing you could do” lotte cooed, another sniffle coming from alessia as she kicked the stones underneath her feet.

a silence filled the gap, not an awkward one but the silence could definitely be felt. the slight wind that followed as the street grew darker, behind the building where the reception was happening with all your family and friends were.

“what’s that?” lotte questioned, pointing towards the piece of paper that she’d noticed alessia carrying all day. it never leaving the blondes hand during the entire service and reception afterwards.

alessia looked down at it, a sad smile on her face as she did. “a letter..” alessia paused, “y/n wrote before she um, you know.. died.”

a change in look come from lotte as her facial expression changed, it sunk a little deeper. lotte didn’t pry though she knew that whatever had been written in that letter was personal, it wasn’t her business to know. if alessia wanted her to know alessia would tell her off her own back.

“i found it in her room when i was going through her things in her apartment-“ alessia spoke, pausing to take a deep breath, her mind building the picture of her walking through your apartment for the last time. how strange it felt. how empty it felt.

alessia continued, “it was weird lotte, it was like she had never been there- the walls, the drawers.. they were bare, like she never even been there before.”

lotte nodded lightly as another small silence came over the two, a little flicker of the street light before the silence was broken.

“it’s funny really because i wish i could just sit and listen to her ramble on about nothing but we would still loose track of time” a small sad smile appeared on the blonde face as she recounted the memory, lotte sitting listening with a similar look as alessia carried on.

“-or the fact she would never let us get coffee from anywhere else but her local cafe where she’d get the same coffee each time — but she’d never have to ask cause the person behind the counter would always have it ready for her. i think that’s why she like to go there..” a little giggled came from alessia as she thought about the many times she tried to get you to go to a different coffee place but you’d point blank refuse.

“less i know it’s gonna be hard but y/n will always be cheering for you not only up there-“ lotte pointed to the dark star which was now filled with tiny white stars, “but in here too” lotte pointed to alessia’s heart as a small nod came from her, she knew lotte was right.

“and overall she’d want you to carry on playing and winning trophy after trophy. so even if you don’t think you can do it for yourself.. do it for y/n.” lotte told the blonde as another shaky breath came from alessia, tears threatening to fall once again.

“i wish i could play football with her again.” alessia shakily said as lotte pulled the blonde into a tight hug, running her hand up and down the blondes back as she comforted her.

“i wish tomorrow came”

you just about made it to the new year, which you spent with alessia and her family as she had insisted that you were not seeing the new year in alone, she wasn't going to allow that to happen.

that was probably the last time you actually truly smiled. just being surrounded by happiness and not having negativity seeping through your veins.

the loss against west ham, the online abuse pretty much tripled. you being blamed for a short pass which resulted in a second goal for west ham and the fans had deemed that you had then and there lost arsenal the chance of winning the league.

after that weekend you found yourself spending a lot more time alone which was not a good thing. your thoughts were spiralling, you began to question why were you actually here?

any team bonding sessions you then began not to turn up, each one declined with a different excuse.

any time alessia asked you to hang out it was always the same, 'feeling tired today less, maybe tomorrow yeah?"

alessia began to notice your change in behaviour but at first did put it down to you just being tired, your limits being pushed to the max. she knew that, heck she wasn't blind anyone could see it.

it wasn't until the first england camp of the new year when you pulled out because of injury did she begin to realise you weren't just tired or injured for that matter.

she called you and you had told her nothing but lies, that you had tweaked you knee in the last game however that was the first game in months that you didn't play a full ninety. so the blondes suspicions raised, and the blonde promised she would come and see you straight after the game at wembley tomorrow.

however tomorrow for you, never came.

[maeumine]

Pairing: bf!Nishimura Riki x fem!reader

Genre: angst&fluff!

Summary: your boyfriend riki comforts u during a bad day

Warnings: mental health issues

Hii so this is my first story it's something really simple, let me know if you like it <33 English is not my first language🙏🏻

It was one of those days, no you didn't have your period, and no nothing bad really happened to you.

You couldn't really say what was happening with you.You were just...empty or sad. You never knew how to describe this mood.

Usually your way to dealing with this kind of things was to stay in your room, with your phone or computer, scrolling thru social media and watching some old nostalgic shows like h2o or drawing while listening to lana del ray and basically ignoring everyone and anything until you eventually felt better.

As you woke up already taking your computer to do what was previously mentioned, the sound of your phone vibration echoed in your room. Your finger was about to press the decline button, but your eyes read the name of Riki.Your boyfriend.

"Goodmorning sleepyhead how are you?" his soft voice hit your ears like a melody, immediately giving you the comfort you were searching for. Just by hearing his voice, you felt like u just got free from a heavy weight. "Hey Riki goodmorning why are u calling me this early? Your voice is coming off as more cold than what you expected to sound - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound mean I'm just really tired today, "your voice softened "don't worry princess, is everything ok? Yesterday you asked me to come to your house and have a baking date, remember?" Fuck you mentally slapped yourself for forgetting such thing "yes I'm so sorry Riki but I don't feel really good today can we postpone?" Your voice pleading hoping he will understand "of course y/n it's alright,do you want me to still come over maybe we can cuddle and watch a movie instead" you bite your lips "no Riki I'm sorry I prefer stay alone today see you tomorrow" you hung the call before he could even answer you.

Your body fell on the mattress beneath you, curling on yourself. You felt so guilty you didn't want to sound cold or mean you were sorry, but usually you dealt with these episodes alone. You always did, plus you and Riki were a new couple it was barely 1 month since he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you were afraid to show this side to him.

The morning went by, and so did part of the afternoon. You passed the whole time by staying in bed sleeping and crying, thinking of random scenarios in your head as your eyes were about to close again. The sound of your doorbell echoed in the apartment as u reluctantly dragged yourself to the door and opened it, reveling your boyfriend figure looking at you worried. "How are you?? I called you for the whole day. " his tone firm, your eyes looking at the floor."I'm sorry I was sleeping. I told u I'm tired. " You tried to shrug it off, walking to the living room the boy behind you."You don't seem just tired," he said, emphasizing the last word, his body crouching in front of you who were sitting on the sofa. "i just want to know what happened. Did I do something? Or is it something I can help u with? " his eyes pleading you, it hurted u seeing him like this he didn't do anything he's the best thing that could happen to you "no I'm so sorry it's not you it's just- you begin to say feeling a knot in your throat-i don't even know sometimes i have this episodes where I feel empty and I don't really know what to do thats why i wanted to ignore you" tears streaming down your face as he bring you closer to him, as you looked at him your body immediately cling at him like a magnet, on of his hand went behind your head and the other one massaged your back you let everything out feeling the warmth of his body giving you the comfort you were craving since this morning.

You two stayed like this for a while. As you calmed down, he kissed your head and looked at you. "Do you want to watch your favorite movie and eat something?" He asked softly, your heart warming you nodded, stending up and choosing the movie you wanted while Riki went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with 2 bowls of ramen you snuggled closer to him watching the movie.

The 2 now empty bowls were on the table in front of the sofa, his arm sneaking around your shoulder as you leaned your head in the crock of his neck, inhaling his perfume, outside was now dark the and in the apartment the only sourceof light was the weak light coming from the tv, everything seemed to have stop it was so peaceful, you felt a hand caressing your hair "do you feel better now?" His deep voice brought you back on earth. Your eyes looked at him in the dim light. God, he looked ethereal, you nodded, snuggling even closer to him, which made him laugh lightly. "Next time you feel like this, tell me please, you don't need to hide from me ok"he said seriously, "Promise." Your voice answered before closing your eyes and drifting to sleep with a smile on your face and his heartbeat as your lullaby,knowing how lucky you are to have Nishimura Riki as your boyfriend.

CUT!

If you came this far, Thank youuu I hoped you like it let me know if there are any grammatical errors and if you liked it see you in the next one<3

[miraclewoozi]

ODE TO A CONVERSATION (STUCK IN YOUR THROAT) - c.sc

Everything with Seungcheol has always been easy. Easier than with anyone else, anyway.  (and it hits me — i don’t want anybody else touching you like i do, like i do, like me. is it okay? that i don’t want anybody else touching you like i do.)

pairing; choi seungcheol x fem!reader.  genre; smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) with a little bit of plot. friends-ish to lovers to (healthy) exes to fwb to -- warnings; writing early parts of this felt low-key pretentious but it was kinda on purpose because i was trying something stylistic and outside my normal?? so??? but on a real: swearing. alcohol consumption (they aren’t drunk at the time of having sex). reader is written to be wearing makeup. it's kinda just filth. proof read but all the words just melted together eventually (if i missed a typo, no i didn't <3) smut warnings under the cut! w/c; 6k. a/n; del water gap’s ode to a conversation stuck in your throat was my most listened to song last year. i now can’t listen to it without thinking about s.coups (i also just point blank can't stop thinking about s.coups) -- enjoy x

smut warnings: big! dick! seungcheol!, making out, fingering, oral (f rec), unprotected p-in-v sex (make good choices), lil bit of edging if u squint, overstimulation if u tilt ur head like 82º to the left, manhandling, soft-ish dom!cheol, lotta praise, use of pet names (babe, baby good girl, my girl, sweetheart), kinda possessive!cheol, jealous!cheol, biting and marking (hickeys, digging nails in), light light light light light crying/dacryphilia (not really, like there are Some tears in eyes but just to be safe ig)

Everything with Seungcheol has always been easy. 

Easier than with anyone else, anyway. 

You’d known him in passing for a long time before anything happened. A friend of a friend — someone you always smiled at and chatted with at social events, because he was easy to smile at, and so very easy to chat to. You can’t even remember which birthday or New Year’s party or Halloween bash or Saturday night jamboree was the first: they’ve since all just dissolved into one pleasantly foggy memory, and every time you saw him thereafter he made you feel so comfortable, so at home that it felt like the hundredth.

And it continued that way for a few years. Pleasantries exchanged in friends' kitchens, conversations across beer-garden tables. Catching up on each other's lives in a hallway outside the bathroom for handfuls of minutes at a time before one of you inevitably got tugged away by the friend you were waiting for. You were comfortable with him, around him: he just had that kind of energy. So on a big group night out one evening, when you found yourself feeling a little uncomfortable being flirted with by someone you had never met, you instinctively flashed Seungcheol a look from across the bar. He came straight over and immediately to your rescue; with him slipping all too naturally into the fake role of your unimpressed significant other, you realised that it was easy to be whisked away under his arm, easy to let him buy you your next drink, easy to let him kiss you breathless just to really drive the pretend point home. 

Staring up at him after, feeling his drink-chilled hands cupping your cheeks, watching his gaze flicker between your lips and your eyes, you realised that igniting a spark had never felt so…

And it was easy to kiss him again later that night under the influence of a little too much wine and blanketed by a couple of lowered inhibitions. It was easy to giggle into the crook of his neck as he leaned against a stone wall, trailing his fingers up and down your arms, rambling about how he wanted to kiss you again and again and again and forever, maybe, because he thought your smile was beautiful and your lips were so soft and you tasted like cherries, and he liked cherries, and if you could kiss him every day he’d never have a reason to be unhappy ever again. It was so fucking easy to fumble in your purse for your phone, to let him put in his number, and when he asked you if he could take you out for dinner, when he messily typed a text message out begging the same question and sent it to you (‘so we both remember, tomorrow’), it was so, so easy to say yes. 

Then, the first date? It was beyond easy. You talked and talked and laughed and laughed, each of you having a few cocktails with your food, never running short of conversation, never not finding little ways to touch each other both under and over the table. Arranging the second, and then the third, and inviting him up for a coffee after date number five was easy, and falling into bed with him was easy. Holding him close, your sweat-slicked bodies moving as one entity in the dark: it was easy, and the pillow-talk after about what this growing thing between you was, came so damn…

So you introduced him to your parents, and your other friends, and in turn he did the same with you. Two and a half years breezed by, then, and even the hard parts… Even the arguing and time spent away from one-another, whether he was sleeping out on your couch following an emotionally charged spat or trips taken as part of his job demanded he spend weeks at a time without you. The hard parts? By comparison to everyone before him, they were easy. Anniversaries and birthdays and Valentine’s days: he spoiled you, and you doted on him, and being together was just so–…

Even the day you decided to end your romantic pursuit, while impassioned, wasn’t hard. In part, maybe it was because it was a long time coming: you still loved each other deeply but your lives were so chaotic and different, and it wasn’t fair to keep waiting around for each other when it just clearly wasn’t your time. And in part, because he was so calm in how he held your hand tightly in his (even when he dried your tears), how he kissed your forehead, in how he told you that you deserved more than the life he could give you. And at the end of it all, when he promised to always be there for you, naturally you promised the same back. 

Keeping that promise? Well. It was easy. 

So what if it took a few weeks for things to feel sort of normal? If you had to remember how to greet him without offering your lips for a kiss or your arms for a hug? If you had to get used to sleeping alone, and waking up alone, all over again? The thing that mattered was that he was still in your life, and you were still in his: your relationship wasn’t broken, it was just different, and once the little transition period was over, once you were both used to your new normal… Being ‘just friends’ was kind of easy. 

(Kind of, being the operative phrase.)

Six months post split, you mentioned to him in passing that you were going on a date the following day. As soon as you realised what you’d said, you regretted bringing it up, but without missing a beat Seungcheol lowered his drink and raised an eyebrow at you, excitedly asking you to tell him everything. The person’s name, what they were like, how you met them, where you were going. He didn’t feel like your ex-boyfriend, then and there: he felt like a best friend. So you told him every detail, and he listened intently, following up by requesting you text him when you got to the date and again when you got home so he knew you were safe. Of course, you said that you would. First, because it was sensible. Second, his requests were easy enough.  

And the date went okay, all things considered: the guy was nice, if a little bit awkward, and you had a good time bowling with him and playing some games in the old arcade, but there just wasn’t a spark. Everything felt difficult. Forced. So when he was the one to say to you after that he’d had a nice evening but felt that maybe you should just be friends, you couldn’t help but feel relieved. Letting out a breath and giving a genuine smile, you agreed, thanking him for his refreshing candour, before bidding him good night and making your way back to your car. 

You held your phone between your fingertips for a while as the engine ran and the heating started to kick in, slowly warming you from the outside, in. As you thawed, you bit the inside of your cheek absentmindedly, a potentially questionable decision planting itself in your mind. Your body didn’t mind how good of an idea your brain thought it was, though. Your fingers moved entirely of their own accord; finding and pressing Seungcheol’s contact name was so starkly different to everything else had been, all damn night. It was easy. His sleep-roughened voice drifting down the phone sounded so easy. Asking if he minded you swinging by his place for a coffee and a debrief felt easy.

Two hours later, writhing on his mattress, two orgasms deep with his head still buried between your thighs and one of his hands groping at your tit as if his life depended on it?

Fucking. Easy.

So then, started the pattern. Waking up the next morning absolutely swimming in one of his oversized t-shirts should’ve felt like guilt and a betrayal of all your self-growth, of your moving on, of your friendship. It should’ve felt uncomfortable and gross and maybe a little panic-inducing, but it never did. It was warm and cosy, it was familiar and comforting, and when he greeted you ‘good morning’ with a pillow to the face, you knew that nothing was ruined; rather, this was just another new difference to your ever-changing relationship with him. Waking up this way… Well, it felt—

Look, you’re only human. You both have needs. After spending two and a half years learning each other's bodies, being together in that way again came so, so… 

After every date gone wrong, after every stressful week at work, in the midst of every family drama and friendship breakdown, you found yourself seeking respite in his apartment, between his bedsheets. In his tongue lapping at your pussy; in the head of his cock bruising the back of your throat until he spilled his release into your mouth; in the slow, deep, precise thrusts of his hips as he buried himself inside you over and over and over and over, taking your mind off the stress and concentrating only on making you feel good, on helping you forget everyone and everything else–… 

And now?

Well, now, you’re on your way back from yet another miserable date.

About three months ago, you stopped even considering giving the taxi drivers directions to your own place. Now, when you slide into the backseat, you automatically reel off the address you always end up at after a night like this. When your dates only talk about themselves, or say something so wildly out of pocket that it makes your toes curl (and not in a good way), or exclusively go on and on and on about their ‘crazy’ ex partner, you’ve grown all too used to showing up pouting at your friend’s front door. 

What? 

Being greeted by his knowing smirk and him inviting you inside is familiar; stepping across the threshold and kicking off your shoes in the hallway feels just so… easy.

Flopping down on the couch is easy, and waiting for Seungcheol to come back into the living room with two gleaming glasses and a bottle of wine is easy. Shuffling closer until you have your head resting against his shoulder is easy. Sipping at a chilled glass of rosé with his arm around you, the tip of his finger rubbing tiny circles against the point of your shoulder, eyes fluttering at this perfectly normal, totally platonic, absolutely-not-leading-anywhere-this-time contact is…

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks a few seconds after you set your now half-empty glass down. Your lips curl a little into a grimace on one side and a soft laugh rumbles deep in his chest.

You swear you can feel it vibrate all the way down to your bones.

“What is there to even talk about?” you sigh. “He wouldn’t stop comparing me to his mother, strike one. Spent twenty minutes explaining the plot of my favourite movie back to me, strike two. And then, after all that, threw a tantrum when I swerved his kiss goodbye after he’d eaten basically a whole loaf of garlic bread. Strike three. You’re out.”

He laughs again, and you adjust your head to peer up at him but he isn’t looking at you. He’s staring off at the opposite wall, not even glancing down when his arm tightens to pull you even closer. On cue, you nuzzle your head down into the muscle beneath his t-shirt, and you sigh. 

“What’s so funny?” you ask. 

“Nothing,” he says breezily. “Just… You sure know how to pick ‘em.”

“I don’t deliberately go out with people one screw short of a toolbox, Cheol,” you grumble, lightly slapping his chest. “They always seem fine when we start talking.”

“Mhm,” he hums. You feel him move slightly and then his lips are being pressed to the part of your hair. You’re sure it’s supposed to be a little condescending, but it kind of tingles instead. But that’s just because of the way his breaths play over your roots. Isn’t it? “I know.”

“Trust me, I’d love nothing more than to find someone who—”

“Hey, I know, y/n,” he says again, still softly but just a little firmer this time. “It’s not your fault all these guys are dicks. But-…”

He trails off, tongue pressed lightly against his top teeth, and decides that maybe finishing this sentence isn’t the smart way to proceed. You wait a few seconds, just in case he changes his mind, and poke at his chest again when he doesn’t. 

“But what?” You ask. 

He shakes his head. “Nothing. It was a stupid joke. Don’t worry about it.”

“Tell me,” you whine. “You know I hate it when you do that.”

It’s his turn to sigh, now. “But…” he starts, pausing for a mixture of allowing his nerves to settle and for dramatic effect. “I’m not complaining: the worse your date goes, the better sex we have after.”

It momentarily stuns you into silence and you suck your teeth at the remark, shaking your head. But you don’t sit up, you don’t shove him away, you don’t argue the point he’s just made whether it was a joke or not. Because…

“I hate that you’re right.”

His hand slides down behind you until it’s wrapped around your waist, his bicep strong against your back and his fingers light as they fiddle with the fabric of your blouse. 

“No you don’t,” he tells you, lips tweaking up on one side. 

You sigh, burrowing closer into his chest. He’s wearing the cologne he knows you like most and it smells faint, worn, as if he’s had it on for hours, all despite being only dressed in basketball shorts and a white vest. His plans tonight started and ended with you, and showing up here wasn’t promised until you were on his doorstep. Something about knowing he wore it just in case triggers an all too familiar ache between your legs.

Giving in to it?

Ha. 

It’s too fucking easy.

“Shut up,” you grumble. Your hand uncurls and your fingers splay over his chest, confessing your agreement and laying the foundations for you even if you deny what you want out loud. “Yes, I do.”

“Oh?” He asks at the exact moment you can feel his nails graze at your skin beneath your shirt. “Do you really?”

“Yeah.” You shift slightly, searching for just a crumb of relief from the press of your thighs, but it never comes. 

“I see.” He flattens his palm against your side, the other hand tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, eyes not quite meeting yours as they fixate on the strands already sliding back to their former place against your cheek. 

He gently clears his throat, tongue darting out over his lips for the most fleeting of moments, and when he speaks again, it’s lower, quieter, softer. “But if you hate it sooo much…” he ducks his head, close enough that his lips brush the corner of your mouth as he moves them. “Why are you here?”

He bumps the tip of his nose against your cheek, subtly turning your face so if you so much as shuffle, hiccup, breathe in too deeply, your smiles would meet. But they don’t. A hair’s breadth apart, you linger, eyes meeting his in a scorching challenge. One he doesn’t back down from. One he holds, and holds, and holds – waiting, for you, for his answer.

“Because,” you croak. Your throat feels dry, your eyelids suddenly heavy, lashes fluttering. 

“Because?” he taunts, his chuckled exhale tickling the tiny hairs all over your skin. 

You maintain his gaze still, and he chuckles, holding your chin between his thumb and forefinger. when you don’t speak for a few seconds more, he takes it upon himself to finish the sentence for you.

“Because you know,” he drawls, gravelly but still somehow heaven-sent and honey-sweet. “That no-one else does it for you the same way I do. Do they?”

You shake your head, the muscles in your neck tight as you wrestle with them not to surge forward and topple against him in a kiss. Seungcheol is an easily pleased man, but you know he loves a bit of a chase and it would be a little rude not to reward his hospitality by giving him one. 

“Say it,” he urges. You’re acutely aware of how his breaths stop fanning against your face once the words are out of his mouth, but you don’t give him anything yet. “Come on. You could have any one of those idiots if you wanted them, but you don’t.” A pause. “Do you?”

You swallow hard, cheeks growing hot. You shake your head again, “No.”

“Because…”

And after one, two, three, four, five thundering beats of your heart—

“Because I want you.”

Seungcheol smirks as he pulls your chin up, finally bringing his plush lips down against your own. It’s soft. almost tender. Barely moving — just a press, but it sends waves of energy through you anyway. 

“You’ve got me,” he says, pulling back an inch, studying your desperate eyes with his own. “Always gonna have me.”

And suddenly, it’s like his entire world might stop if he lets you go.

Both of his hands cup your cheeks as you shift up onto your knees, your own fingers grasping for dear life at his vest. He kisses you as if he could swallow you whole: hard and deep, breathing hot through his nose as his tongue works its way into your mouth and finds your own. You groan, and hearing the sound draws one out of him, too. There’s just something about kissing Seungcheol, and being kissed by him: you don’t even have to think. He just does. You just do. It’s easy.

His hands find the bottom of your shirt and he pulls upwards, separating from your lips to pull it over your head and toss it haphazardly towards the floor. He reconnects with you almost immediately, hands sliding down from your face to your exposed neck, to your shoulders, toying with the strap of your bra.

“You wear this for me, or him?” he asks, breathing heavily as he looks down at your covered tits, the red and white garment sitting pretty against your skin.

“Who d’you think?” you ask, equally fighting to gasp air into your lungs. 

“Better not have been for fuckin’... Captain mommy issues,” he mutters, kissing you hard one more time before his lips attach to the side of your neck. “Never liked the sound of that guy. Thought you were too good for him.”

“S’that right?” You ask, tilting your head back and stuttering out a sigh, lacing it with wisps of a laugh. “You never said so.”

He sucks your skin into his mouth and you swear you can feel every capillary beneath the surface burst one by one, your body-heat climbing to almost unbearable territory. “You were excited,” he says. “Just ‘cause I don't agree with your choices, doesn’t mean I’m gonna be an ass about it.”

And for someone trying their best to cover your throat in as many bruises as possible (no doubt so that if you bump into the asshole from HR who took you out tonight when you’re back at work on Monday, he’ll see that you had a plenty good time without him), it… feels kind of sweet that he’d hold himself back in the name of your theoretical happiness.

“Too good to me,” you chuckle. You’ve long since released your hold on his vest and are now threading your fingers through his hair. He kisses and sucks down over your collarbone, grinning against your skin all the while. 

“So?” he asks, tugging the top of your bra in between his teeth.

You glance down at him, biting your bottom lip at the sight. His pupils are blown-out, drowning his familiar warm, chocolatey eyes in black pools of desire. No lies, that’s always been your agreement. No lies. So you tell him the truth, pushing your chest up towards him and pressing his head down slightly so his top lip brushes against your tit. 

“Wore it for you, Cheol.”

“Mhm. That’s my girl.”

He sits up straight and pulls you down to him, smashing his lips against yours again as his hands slide around your back, fingertips making quick work of your bra clasp. He pulls the straps down your arms, grunting at the feeling of your breasts relaxing against his own chest; the bra joins your shirt on the floor, and soon after follows his vest, your hands clawing at it to get it off him as fast as you can.

“Up,” he says as your hands trail over his stomach, fingers dipping into every groove of muscle, feeling how they ripple as he reflexively tenses them under your touch. “Now.”

You oblige, climbing off the couch and standing upright. His hand finds the back of your shoulder and he guides you around to the side of the sofa, promptly pushing you down over the arm-rest so your face meets the cushions you were both just sitting on. He pulls your pants down your legs and helps you step out of them, dropping down to his knees and kneading at your thighs with a guttural moan.

“Gonna make you forget all about him, y/n,” he says. “Make you feel so good you won’t even remember his name.”

“Please,” you gasp, feeling his teeth sink into your ass. “So-... fucking good to me…”

He adjusts the position of your legs, bumping them apart until he can settle on his knees between them. His nose drags against the crease between the top of your thigh and the bottom of your ass, his lips trailing kisses all the way from the outside of your leg to where your pussy is throbbing for him. He skips over it, though, nipping and licking at the back of your other thigh, until you’re rocking your hips back to try and push him into your core.

“Be a good girl,” he chuckles, thumbing over the wet-patch in your panties. “I’m gonna look after you. I promise.”

His tongue meets your wetness just a moment after, dragging over the fabric and making you whimper. Your hands scramble to clutch onto something, one grabbing the edge of the seat cushion and the other balling into a fist. 

“Fuck, Cheol,” you hiss, feeling the heat from his mouth all over you. “Please – I need it. I need you.”

“Shh,” he says. You can feel his lips twist into a smile. God, you wish you could see him right now. “I’ve got you.”

When exactly his fingers tucked themselves under the waistband of your underwear, you’re not sure: all you know is that one minute, he’s breathing in your scent through the seat of your panties, and the next he’s yanking them down your legs and diving into your cunt like it’s his last meal on death-row. The sheer force of his hands gripping your thighs and his head burying itself between them makes you stumble forwards, the couch groaning as it shifts against the laminate flooring, and you cry out a wet sob of his name.

Who were you kidding, before, when you thought that this wasn’t going to go anywhere tonight?

The build-up to this started the second you told him about the date a week and a half ago.

But you can’t think about the mediocre pasta dish you ate this evening, or the moron who sat across from you at the table who kept checking his phone and glancing over your shoulder. You can’t think about how many times he went to the bathroom after receiving a text, or how he came back grinning cockily before he sat back down. 

All you can think about is how deep Seungcheol’s tongue fucks into you. How he fucking slurps all the wetness your pussy can give him, how he groans and moans and chuckles every time he shifts his head forward and flicks the muscle over your clit. Your head is spinning and your eyes begin smarting at the corners when his nails on one hand dig harshly into the fat at the top of your thigh. It stings, but it feels so fucking good. Your knees are weak, you’re about to bite clean through your lip in an attempt to be respectful to Seungcheol’s neighbours, and your knuckles are sore from the force with which your fist is clenched. 

Lord, he’s good.

“Don’t hold back,” he gasps, pulling away from you, a string of his own spit and your arousal still connecting him to your pussy. “C’mon, babe. I can feel you’re close.”

The loss of his mouth genuinely feels like the end of the world and you could buckle, in this moment. But he’s done this on purpose: he always does. He knows you. He knows the sounds you make and the way your body moves when you’re tantalisingly on the edge of your climax. His thumbs rub circles into your thighs and you just know he’s got the most obnoxious, insufferable grin on his face behind you while he does it: you can picture it, so perfectly. So easily. 

The orgasm you didn’t quite reach starts to ebb away from you and you give a grumble of frustration, pushing up onto your palms to turn around and look at him.

“You’re such a bastard, Cheol,” you hiss, and he grins back at you, his lips swollen and shiny as he licks over them.

“Get that pretty face back down, baby. I’m not done.”

It feels like a delightful punch in the gut, so you do. You drop back down onto your elbows, feeling him shift his position but you can’t see to what; his body heat never leaves yours even when his hands aren’t on you anymore, so you know he hasn’t stood up or gone far. It’s only when you clear your throat that you feel him again. Sat down with his back to the couch, between your thighs, nosing at your clit to get you worked up all over again: his fingers trail over your folds, collecting your arousal, spreading your lips and tonguing between them. You whine for him, keening and confused but overwhelmed at the stark shift from before. How he touches your pussy like it’s the first time, like it’s the last. 

He presses one long finger inside you, free hand pushing your hips into just the right position that he can suck your clit into his mouth. You feel yourself grinding down against his hand, begging him for more without having the words to ask for it, but Seungcheol doesn’t need to be asked. It’s intuitive to him. Eating you out could well be his day job. Another finger joins the first and he pumps them in and out of you at a pace you adore, his tongue flicking precisely over the bud in his mouth.

Your disappointingly lost orgasm from before starts to creep up on you again, and you know he knows it too. But this time, he doesn’t slow. This time, he doesn’t stop. He hums in the back of his throat: it’s permission, you realise, to come undone; burying your face further into the cushions, you let out a muffled series of expletives, sobs, moans of his name. You tumble over the edge with a broken cry, fingers curling into the couch cushions, and he only pulls away when your knees actually give out.

His strong frame is the only thing still holding you up by the time you’ve stopped twitching through the aftershocks, remembering how it feels to have full lungs and a working pair of eyes. You roll your head to the side as he slips out from beneath you, immediately sliding his arm around your waist and leaning over you to keep you steady. Through the material of his shorts, you can feel his hard-on poking at your ass: the fact that you’re this fucked and he hasn’t put his cock inside you yet makes your eyes water.

“Okay?” he asks, pressing tender kisses down the length of your spine. You just breathe, nodding with difficulty owed to your current position and the way all your muscles suddenly feel a hundred times heavier than normal. “Talk to me, sweetheart. You okay?”

“M’okay,” you say. “Just… gimme a sec…”

He keeps pressing his lips all over your back, hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips as you fully recover. You nod again when you’re a little more communicative, pushing up onto your elbows once more.

“Said I’d look after you,” he says. “And you were so good for me.”

“Yeah?” you ask, swallowing hard as you twist your spine uncomfortably to look back at him. Fuck it, maybe he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. Is that some great secret? Is it such a crime?

“You always are, baby.”

He looks down at you again: at the shape of your body, bent so crudely over the arm of his couch. At your messed-up hair, your smeared makeup, your soft, dewy eyes. He bites his bottom lip, swallowing hard, running a finger from between your shoulder-blades all the way down towards your ass.

“Can I?” he asks, pushing his hips against you again, your still-soaked pussy smearing arousal all over the front of his shorts where it meets them. 

“Please,” you nod, shifting your legs slightly to try and get more comfortable. He drops his shorts in a matter of seconds, cock springing free from their confines. It’s thick and veiny, leaking in his palm as he strokes it, one hand coming back to rest on your hip.

“Fuck, babe,” he sighs. “You’re doing so good.”

The head feels delicious against your swollen cunt and you gasp at the pressure of him sliding through your folds, leisurely lubing himself up with your arousal. It glides over your clit and you can’t contain the slight hiss that escapes you. He starts to say something, his voice just audible to you where you’re propped, but for some reason he stops short, and you don’t quite hear him anyway. There’s not enough time to dwell on it though: your eyelashes flutter closed when he prods at your entrance, pushing into you with hardly any resistance at all, and his unstarted, unfinished sentence is forgotten.

It’s still a stretch to take him and he eases himself deeper until his hips are pressed fully against your ass. He rests there for a moment, letting you adjust, letting your body mould to the shape of his own, and it’s only when you reach back with one hand to gently nudge against his wrist to give an okay that he starts to move.

“Good girl,” he says, quieter this time. Like he’s distracted. Like he’s contemplating. But you don’t ask, because you don’t really want to know: every drag of his cock against your walls feels like fireworks bursting over every inch of your skin, like being engulfed in flame, and nothing could take you out of how electric you feel. “Taking me so, so well.”

His hips start to thrust against you quicker, snapping so his cock buries itself deep but mercilessly quickly into your pussy. It’s only a matter of minutes until you’re clenching around him and when you do, Seungcheol – who you noticed early on into your relationship was one of the most vocal men you’d ever had in the bedroom – stops holding back the sounds you think back to when it’s just you and your trusty vibrator against the world. You swear that half the reason your sexual chemistry with him is so unrivalled is because of how loud you can both get.

You don’t know how long he’s fucking you for, sweat beading over both of your bodies and leaving you slick all over. What you do know, though, is that when he bends down over you, supported by one hand bracing his weight against the cushion by our head, he’s close. 

He isn’t groaning and grunting anymore. He’s whining. So agonisingly hard and so painfully wound up that he could snap. His voice is little more than a whimper in your ear when his lips ghost over the shell of it, thrusts slowing as he tries to stave off his high just a little bit longer.

“Wanna drown in this pussy,” he says, eyes squeezed shut, jaw falling slack as you spasm around his length again. “Shit – I love y-... love this… love this so much-...”

And this time, you fucking notice.

This time, you hear him. You know what he said before, now. When you didn’t care, when you just wanted him to fill you up, when you just wanted to have him pound into you until your brain disconnected from failed romances and shitty dating apps and people who weren’t him. Because he started to say it then, too – started to say I love y–

And this time… you say it, back. 

“I love you too, Cheol.”

Jesus, fuck.

Loving Choi Seungcheol is the easiest thing in the world.

He freezes, buried inside you all the way to the hilt, a bead of sweat running down the bridge of his nose and hanging onto the tip for dear life. His eyes shoot open, his head turns, and you meet his gaze by turning your own. He’s feeling everything. All at once. So are you. Arousal and need and fear – God, so much fucking fear – but love. Adoration, affection, endearment, devotion – shit, he feels it all, and it’s written in every line of his face, and when his lips move into a smile, when the corners of his eyes crease, when he lets it wash over him, it feels better than any orgasm he’ll have for the rest of his life.

Even the one that explodes through him when you start to grind yourself back on his cock and he lets go, fingers scrabbling to hold your hand, lips finding home on the back of your shoulder. He paints your insides with his cum, fucks it into you for as long as he can physically withstand. You don’t even have it in you to chase another climax of your own, too blissed out in the relief of your own feelings to feel inclined to try. 

So, maybe there’s a reason you kept accepting dates with men you knew you weren’t compatible with. 

Maybe there’s a reason you didn’t give those other people a real chance.

Maybe there’s a reason you always found yourself looking forward to the end of every night having dinner with a stranger.

Because all the roads lead you here. Because it’s easy being here – it’s where you belong.

He stays sheathed inside you for a little while longer, pressing kisses everywhere his lips can reach before he has to pull his softening cock from its home between your legs. You lament at the feeling of emptiness, even as his strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you upright for the first time in so long that your legs feel like jelly. It’s okay, though. He holds you against his chest, burying his head into your neck – there’s no way you’re going to fall.

(At least, no more than you already have.)

“I’ll give you everything,” he whispers to you, moving your hair out the way so he can press small, doting kisses to the line of your jaw. “I can give it to you. I was a fucking idiot before – I’ll give you everything I have. I don’t know if I can be perfect but anything you want–...”

“I just want you, Cheol,” you tell him. “Everything – screw all that. I just want you.”

“Be with me?” he asks. You nod, feeling him light up in a smile for the hundredth time tonight. Even though you can’t see it, you’re sure it’s as blindingly beautiful as the first smile he sent your way, all those years ago. (It was Joshua’s birthday. You remember that, now.) And the second. And every damn time since. “Forever, this time.”

“Forever, this time,” you agree.

Because spending forever with the man who lifts you into his arms and carries you towards his shower, so you can clean down and get ready for bed? Right now, it sounds so –

But everything with Seungcheol has always been easy. Easier than with anyone else.

thank u so much for reading! likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all always so appreciated<3

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hello,I'm not that anon but why do now I want an alternate version where Reader's the one who doesn't remember Bucky (with a lot of angst)? 😭 You know as she went through life normally and dating other guys while he watches from the side but couldn't do or say anything and can only try to make her remember. I don't know if you're opening requests or not because I didn't see anything in your bio about it. But if you do open requests,can I request this please? 🙏🏼 If you're not opening requests,that's okay,I just wanna share this thought I have while reading it 😭 It was beautiful ❤

Come Back To Me » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Ex Fiancée/Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Ex Fiancée/Avenger!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky has to deal with the fact that you don’t remember him and going on dates with other guys when all he wants is for you to come back to him.

Warnings: mix of Angst and Fluff, language, brief mention of alcohol, crying, flashbacks, pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵

A/N #2: Flashbacks is in Italic text. I imagined this after Bucky gets back from his recovery in Wakanda.

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

Bucky watched with a clenched jaw from the other side of the room as you talked to another man. You laughed and smiled with that man. Something you used to do with Bucky. You and Bucky were engaged years ago, but it ended. Your smile slowly faded away when you seen Bucky looking your way. Bucky’s heart sank when you kissed the guy goodbye before walking away from him.

“Is there something I can help you with, Sergeant? Or are you just going to stand here and stare at me all day?” You asked.

“Nope.” Bucky pops the P. “I was taking a break. I’m going back to work now.” He says before walking out of the room.

He went to the lounge room and sat down on the couch, sighing loudly and ran his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, taking a moment to himself.

Bucky had his head propped up on his hand as you slept. His free hand caressed your cheek, gently rubbing your cheekbone. Your eyes fluttered open to see your fiancée looking at you.

“Were you watching me sleep?” You asked with a smile giggle.

“No. I’m simply admiring my fiancée’s beauty.” Bucky says softly with a smile.

You blushed and covered your face with the blanket. Bucky uncovered you and got on top of you. He leaned down and placed kisses all over your face, making you laugh uncontrollably.

“You ok?” Steve asks, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

“I-” Bucky cleared his throat and stood up. “I’m fine.” He lies, walking past him.

Steve knows when Bucky is lying and when he’s upset. He followed after him and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Buck, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Steve says with concern in his voice.

“I hate seeing my ex fiancée going out with men who aren’t me.” Bucky admits. “I just- I just want her to remember me.” He says.

“She will. Just give her time.” He says, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“70+ years isn’t enough time?” He scoffs, feeling his eyes water. “What would you do if it was Peggy?” He asks. “Sorry.” He apologizes. “I didn’t mean to bring her up like that.” He says.

“It’s ok. It’s a valid question.” He says. “To answer your question, I would surround her with familiar things.” He answers.

That gave Bucky an idea. He gave Steve a smile before walking away to go to his bedroom. He immediately went to his closet, looking for something. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he’ll know once he finds it.

“Come on. Where is it?” Bucky mumbles to himself.

He let out a sigh of relief when he found what he was looking for. It’s the very first picture you and him took together. It’s a picture of you and Bucky kissing sweetly and you two didn’t know his sister took a picture of the two of you.

Rebecca walks in the living room to see Bucky giving you the world’s sweetest kiss. She smiles to herself, happy to see her older brother found someone to make him happy. She seen a camera on the shelf next to her from the corner of her eye. She grabbed the camera and took a picture of the two of you without you guys even knowing. She put the picture on the couch next to you two and quietly walked out of the living room.

Bucky walks in the lobby of the compound to see you about to leave with the man you’re going on a date with. He quickly walked up to you before you walked out the door.

“Agent Y/L/N, you got a minute?” Bucky asks, approaching you.

“Not really.” You say.

“I’ll make it quick.” He says.

You sighed and told your date to wait outside for a moment. Bucky took a second to take in your beauty.

“What is it?” You asked, crossing your arms.

Bucky showed you the picture of you and him kissing without saying a word. You looked at the picture, studying it, but nothing came to your mind.

“Who are those people?” You asked Bucky.

“You and me.” He tells you. “My sister took this picture when we weren’t paying attention.” He explains.

“I can clearly see that’s me. I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, Sergeant, but we were never together and we will never be together. Now if you’ll excuse me, my date is waiting for me.” You say.

Bucky stood there, watching you walk hand and hand with another man. He felt his anger bubbling up inside of him. Before he knew it, his vibranium fist went through the wall. Steve rounded the corner a few seconds later and looked at the hole in the wall before looking at his best friend.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky apologizes. “I’ll pay to get that fixed.” He says.

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve says softly.

Bucky stormed away and went to the kitchen to get a beer. He opened it and drank almost half of it. Steve walked in the kitchen at the same time as Sam.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sam curiously asks Bucky.

“Y/N still doesn’t remember me.” Bucky said.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, man, but just give her time.” He says.

“You’re not the first person to say that to me today.” He says, taking another sip of his beer.

Sam seen the picture of you and Bucky on the kitchen counter and picked it up, looking at it.

“You two looked so happy.” Sam says.

“We are- I mean were.” Bucky corrects himself. “She was the love of my life and still is.” He tells him. “I just want her to come back to me.” He says.

Bucky walked away and took the picture with him. He went back to his room, putting the picture on his nightstand before laying down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep.

“Please be careful.” You tell Bucky.

“I’ll try my best, doll.” Bucky says softly.

Bucky leaned in and kissed you passionately and sweetly. That’s when an Army officer said it was time to go.

“I love you, doll.” He whispers.

“I love you more, Buck.” You whispered back.

Bucky woke up from the dream and sat up, leaning his back against the headboard. His eyes filled with tears. The dream he just had was a memory of the last time he seen you before he left for the Army.

“I came back to you. Why can’t you come back to me, doll?” Bucky says to himself, crying softly.

The following morning, Bucky walked in the kitchen to see you telling Natasha and Wanda about your date with that guy last night. He stood there, listening as well. Natasha and Wanda quieted down when they seen Bucky.

“Don’t stop talking cause I’m in the room.” Bucky sat down next to you. “Tell me about your date.” He says, putting himself in the conversation.

You blinked a couple times, not sure if you should tell Bucky about your date. You continued to stare at him when he called you doll. Natasha and Wanda sensed the awkwardness between you and Bucky.

“I don’t think I should.” You say.

You stood up from your seat and walked out of the kitchen. Bucky just scoffed and rubbed his hands over his face.

“She’ll come around to you, Bucky.” Wanda says, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Bucky stood up from his seat and went to the gym. As he was walking to the gym, his enhanced hearing picked up your voice in the conference room. He heard you talking to another man. A different man from yesterday.

Bucky’s jaw clenched and his hands balled up into fists when he heard the guy call you cute pet names. “It’s doll.” Bucky says in his head. He wanted nothing more than to snap that guy’s neck with his vibranium hand. He couldn’t listen to any more of it. He went to the gym to take his anger out on a punching bag.

Bucky wasn’t sure how long he was in the gym, but he went through two punching bags and is on a third. With one last punch with his vibranium fist, the punching bag was sent across the gym with sand leaking from it.

“Fuck!” Bucky shouts, his voice cracking and echoing in the gym.

You walked in the gym after Bucky shouted. You seen three punching bags leaking with sand on the floor before looking at Bucky.

“Sergeant Barnes, are you ok?” You asked.

“I would be ok if you remembered me.” Bucky says without realizing it.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing.” He says, leaving the gym.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you watched him walk out of the gym. Bucky kept trying to come up with ways to get you to remember him. He tried showing you a picture of you and him together, but that didn’t work. That’s when something came to his mind. He smiles to himself as a memory came to his mind the first time he called you doll.

“Hi doll!” Bucky greets you with a kiss and a hug.

“Doll?” You asked.

“You’re cute as a doll. It fits, don’t you think.” He says.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your tippy toes to kiss his lips softly and sweetly as a way of telling him you like the pet name.

“It’s cute and I love it.” You tell him.

“Then it’s settled. You’re my doll.” He says with a smile.

“And you’re my Bucky Bear.” You say softly.

Bucky was snapped from his thoughts when he seen you walking towards him.

“Steve wants you to look over these.” You say, handing him a file before walking away.

“Sure thing, doll.” Bucky says.

You stopped in your tracks, blinking a couple times before turning around. You haven’t heard that pet name in years, but you weren’t sure where you heard it and who said it.

“What did you call me?” You asked him.

“Doll.” He says with a hopeful smile.

“It’s Agent Y/L/N not doll.” You tell him.

Bucky’s hopeful smile faded away and he nodded. He was absolutely sure that calling you doll would work, but he guessed wrong. He sighed and walked away.

As Bucky was looking over the file, he couldn’t focus. He was staring at the wall in front of him.

Meanwhile, you were still trying to figure out where you heard the pet name Bucky called you. That’s when it came to you. Your memories of Bucky, your relationship with him, and the pet name you always called him.

You ran to find him. You looked everywhere in the compound for him, but couldn’t find him. The only room you didn’t look in is the lounge room. You immediately went to that room to see Bucky going over the file you gave him earlier.

“Bucky Bear…” You said.

Bucky froze. He hasn’t heard you call him that since the 1940s.

“I called you Bucky Bear and you called me doll.” You say.

“That’s right.” Bucky confirms. “That’s what we called each other.” He says, standing up from his seat.

You approached him and stood on your tippy toes to kiss him. Bucky never forgot how soft your lips felt against his lips. His hands found their way to your waist and pulled you against him. The kiss had so much passion in it that it left the two of you breathless.

“Come back to me, doll.” Bucky whispers against your lips.

“I’m right here, Bucky Bear.” You whispered back.

Bucky pulled away from the kiss to look deep in your eyes.

“I still want to marry you.” You tell him.

“Then we’ll pick up where we left off.” He says.

Both of you smile widely before kissing each other again.

“I missed you so fucking much.” You say.

“I missed you more, doll.” He almost whispers. “I love you.” He says.

“I love you too, Bucky Bear.” You say softly.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[ushijimaschubbs]

"just please understand...."

an: im sorry if this sucks I have exams and i really wanted to finish this request. this is not proofread btw. based on this request. have fun reading anon and thank you so much for this adorable request <33

synopsis: reader has a bad luck in love and their bestfriend kuroo picks up the pieced after heartbreak while he's in love with them.

1.2k words

pairings: timeskip bestfriend!kuroo tetsurou × reader

warnings: breakup, cheating, reader has bad luck in love leading to multiple heartbreaks, slight angst

the sunlight felt too bright this morning as you tried to shield yourself from it by covering your face with the nearest pillow. the dreadful memories from last night started clouding your mind when you remembered how you had to break up with your ex boyfriend because you found him flirting with multiple girls online. tears rolled down your the bridge of your nose as you tried to find your phone on the table, only to see 20 missed calls from kuroo. you sprang up from your bed and called him immediately knowing he is going to be pissed off because you probably drunk dialled him last night after the brutal breakup.

"oh wow look who has decided to wake up. it's 1pm", kuroo spat on the other line.

"I'm really sorry, kuroo. i was having a really awful night okay? please don't shout at me I'm still so hungover", you cried, falling back into the mattress.

"i don't remember the last time you had a good night actually, princess. i was really worried for you and I couldn't even check up on you because I'm still on this business trip", he sounded annoyed and pissed off and this really wasn't the first time. you didn't blame him since you did find yourself in horrible situations ever so often in your love life. cupid did not do anything for you because if it had, you wouldn't end up with rat looking, bad kissers every time you had a liking for someone. you were simply questioning your taste at this point and kuroo was clearly growing tired of watching you struggle, and worse cry yourself to sleep ever so often.

what you didn't know was how much kuroo longed for you but he was too scared to admit it in the fear of rejection and the loss of his bestfriend, he didn't want to give up something so precious only for it to break into pieces in future, if it ever does that is.

"i promise i won't jump into anything too hastily after this okay? and when are you returning? i really miss your stupid face, jackass", you replied, trying to lighten the mood because you knew kuroo was furious right now.

"im returning in a week and i swear I will keep my eyes on you at all times because I really don't like seeing you like this, y/n. you're my bestfriend and you deserve so much better please",he sighed and proceeded to hang up as his coworker urged him to the meeting room.

after this call, you swore to yourself you won't go out with any guy anymore no matter what happened but guess what, it hadn't even been two weeks before you were going insane over your new neighbour. his blonde locks and hazel eyes had you on a chokehold and you rambled on about it to kuroo who knew this was not going to end well. you went on two dates with this neighbour guy and gushed about him to your bestfriend, describing where he took you, how he treated you, how he paid for your dates blah blah.

"that's very bare minimum, y/n. I've done way more for you and you know that", kuroo blurted out in the middle of your rambling.

"yeah but he's not you, stupid. he's sweet, and kind and he has such beautiful hands you have no idea", starry eyed you went to bed peacefully that night not knowing what was going to take place the next day.

it was your third date now with this neighbour boy and he took you to a classy family restaurant, pulled your chair to seat you, ordered your favourite food and ran circles on your calves with his toes as he looked into your eyes. that was until a girl who had just entered the restaurant stormed towards your table and started screaming on top of her voice about how this guy was her boyfriend, and they had been going out for months now. you couldn't register what she was saying, the noise of shouting and him explaining himself drowned as you lost balance and fell on the chair. your head hurt and you knew you had to leave immediately. you ran towards the road, looking down in shame and got into the nearest cab. the entire night you kept calling kuroo, hoping to confide in him only to remember that he was supposed to be on a date too leading you to cry yourself to sleep that night.

you woke up to several knocks on your door and someone shouting your name outside loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. you made your way towards the door and found kuroo sweating profusely and out of breath.

"I'm so sorry y/n I'm really sorry I passed out last night after the date and my phone was on silent are you fine is everything okay??"

"yeah don't worry my bad luck in love just doesn't seem to leave", you sighed, plopping on the cream coloured sofa in your living room.

"what happened this time?"

"he was already in a relationship"

kuroo was usually always annoyed everytime you would tell him about a crush, or a bad date or even a relationship but this time he looked enraged.

"you can't be that blind right y/n"

"huh what do you mean"

"i mean we've been friends for almost idk our entire life and we've spent literally every fucking day together. there hasn't been a single day I have wanted to wake up and the only reason why I do anyways is you. you are my first thought of the day and every other thought after that and I simply cannot go on even a day more without saying this to you but I've always and always loved you y/n and I'm tired of other undeserving men breaking your heart everytime and I will not stand it anymore. my heart beats for you everyday so please..." he breathes hard "just please understand." he was now standing right over you, his eyes not leaving your face for even a second as you tried to process each of his words.

"kuroo what how why have you never told me this", you cried wondering how oblivious you were to all his feelings for so long.

"because I don't want to lose you. i never ever want to have to go through the loss of you as my bestfriend and i cannot risk that but I also can't see your heart break everytime because of some jerk and if that means risking our friendship I don't mind because I want you to be mine only", he urged as he sat next to you, taking your hand in his and caressing your fingers with his thumb.

"you'll never lose me kuroo, I promise you that. trust me. I'm sorry for being so unaware of what you felt for me. why don't we start by going on a date first? is that fine?", you said while closing the distance between you two by pressing your lips on his, your noses touching slightly. he was gentle and soft and you could taste the shared breath, feel the thud of your combined heartbeat as he held you close, making sure he's never letting you go again.

[tmnt-obsessed]

Knight in Shining Red Armour | Bay!Raphael x Fem!Reader

Jay is Reader's recent toxic ex who just can't seem to let her go, and Raph isn't very impressed :)) Also not proof read. Enjoy lovelies!

Warning: Mental, verbal, and physical abuse from a partner, stalking, threatening with knife

~

You couldn't handle Jay's behavior any longer.

You gave him plenty of chances to change, to become the man you remembered being in love with. Of course, it never happened. His behavior continued to take a turn for the worse.

Slowly over the two years you'd been with him he morphed into someone who quite frankly terrified you.

At first the concerning behavior was so small; it wasn't even a concern yet. Frequently taking peeks at your phone when he thought you wouldn't notice, or asking where you were randomly throughout the day. At first these were easily brushed off. You glanced at his phone occasionally too out of pure curiosity, and you also thought about he throughout your day.

Of course, that was just the beginning. Over time he slowly became more... scary, but you were so blind to it. He began trying to control you, subtly of course. Suggesting which jewelry, you should wear and evening telling you your shoes didn't look good so you should wear the one's he liked. He'd order for you in restaurants, but it was never what you wanted, and he wouldn't let you ask for it to be changed. You thought that he just wanted you to look your best and be a gentleman that ordered for his woman. Oh, how wrong you were, it should have been your wake-up call.

The worst mistake you made was moving in with him six months ago. He completely changed after that.

You thought Raph had a temper, but Jay's was so much worse. He'd get mad over the smallest things, and once he was it was honestly terrifying. He'd break just about everything in his path -everything that wasn't his of course- and at the end it was pretty much your job to clean up. Since, "If you hadn't made me mad, I wouldn't have done it in the first place."

He didn't want you leaving the house without him unless it was for work. Of course, he didn't know about the boys, so it was one of your main reasons for your fights. On top of that, he refused to let any of your family or friends over. He wouldn't even let you have an apartment warming.

Despite all that he'd never lay a hand on you so you thought perhaps it was fixable. Which led you to telling Jay it was therapy or you were leaving. You made him do his own therapy and on top of it, couples therapy for the two of you.

The next big mistake you made was ignoring the sweet therapist when she was really trying to be a girl's girl and get you to run from him as fast as you could. Of course, she didn't say it like that but it's what she meant. Why you ignored it you don't know, especially since at this time your feelings for Jay were fading fast while your feelings for a certain red loving ninja were growing fast.

And just a few weeks ago Jay had done the absolute unthinkable. Something that had opened your eyes and forced you to end the relationship.

You had once again got into a screaming match when you tried to leave without him to see the boys in the guise of spending time April at a club. It wasn't anything new, but you felt bad for the poor neighbors who surely could hear and had to endure it.

Then he'd done it. He slapped you across the face, and hard. He held back nothing. You were stunned and almost immediately you started to cry. Turning to leave, but he had stopped you trying to apologize.

When you weren't having it and told him the relationship was over and to let you go his rage came back tenfold. He had started beating you furiously, he had almost killed you choking you out.

In fact, if it hadn't been for your burly, retired veteran neighbor who had literally broken down your door when he heard your cries for help, you honestly might have died then.

You couldn't be more grateful for him and remember him dragging Jay off you as if he were a ragdoll and giving him a good few sucker punches to the face, all while your other neighbors -a sweet old couple that baked you things occasionally watching in horror. The man covering his wife's eyes as he called 911 and then it was all black from there.

Luckily you hadn't spent too long in the hospital. You had a couple fractured ribs, a broken nose, a broken arm, and were bruised to hell but all things that could heal at home.

When questioned by the police you told the truth and pressed charges, glad to know your boyfriend - ex boyfriend was behind bars and would be charged with attempted murder among other things. Well... would be since your previous mentioned veteran neighbor had broken his nose and put a fracture in his jaw. Satisfying information.

After all that you begged them not to tell the boys the real reason you were in the hospital, to which they agreed and let everyone involved in the case know not to get lose lipped and stick with it being a mugging. Mostly because you feared Jay wouldn't live to see the court date, but also because they would say I told you so. Well probably not, but they would think it. None of your friends liked Jay, but they really didn't like him.

Once you were out you were allowed to go back home which was surprisingly cleaned up. Learning it was from the efforts of your neighbors which warmed your heart. In turn you had ordered out and purchased desserts for all three of them the rest of the week.

The boys had fretted over you since then. Not a single one of them letting you walk to the lair or home alone. You also received text messages from them throughout the day, asking how you were doing and if you were alright. It warmed you heart even if it was becoming slightly annoying. You couldn't be mad though, it showed just how much they cared for you.

Raph himself seemed worse than the others though. He had wanted you to tell him if you were making any late-night runs to the store or even April's place. You thought you might have even seen a glimpse of his red mask on the building across the street when you were looking out the window once. It made you believe that -just maybe-he returned the budding feelings you had for him.

Now though, now you had wished you had texted him that you were making a quick night trip to the store. Wished you had asked if he'd follow you like your knight in shining red armor and make sure you'd be safe. Because no one, not a single person thought it'd be a good idea to tell you that Jay was out on bail.

Of course you'd be his first target. Why wouldn't you be? He had followed you when you left your apartment. He had struck when there wasn't anyone nearby, not even a car driving in the street, before he dragged you into an alleyway.

Which led you to now, terrified and shaking with a knife pressed to your neck. He was saying something, but you couldn't really process it. Just knowing his voice was dripping with hatred.

Your head was running a mile a minute and yet it felt so empty. You were trying to think back on the self-defense training you were forced to go through. The only thing coming to mind was his voice saying, "Find an opening."

He always said that. An opening to run or an opening to attack it didn't matter. "Whatever feels right" he'd said.

Nothing felt right. There was no opening. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. The run-down brick of the building behind you digging into your back and his cold, sharp knife digging into your throat. This was it. You were going to die. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes...

But then- a laugh.

A laugh from a woman and soon a man followed suit with his own laughter, they didn't sound far from the opening of the alleyway. It had Jay swiveling his head to look, his grip loosing on the knife. This was it. This was your opening.

You stomped on his foot as your hand came up to his forearm holding the knife to shove him back. It didn't seem like he was prepared for you to fight back because he stumbled back easily, almost falling on his ass.

~

"Should I attack them, then?"

"You can. Or you can run. Whatever feels right."

"How do I know what 'feels right'."

"Trust me, you'll know what feels right half pint."

~

Raphael was right. You know what feels right immediately. In fact, you were already sprint away, practically tripping over your own two feet as you rounded the corner out of the alley way, before your mind even recognize the flight instinct.

Clumsily rummaging through your bag to find you phone without ever taking your eyes away from the sidewalk. The last thing you wanted was to trip over something or run into something. Especially not when a loud, furious call of your name and the stomping of footsteps catching up to you had your heart freezing.

You grip onto your cell phone once you find it dragging it out.

"h-Hey Google/Siri" Your breath is shaking, and your surprised you even got the words out. More surprised your phone recognized them.

"Call 'Hot Head'!"

"I'm sorry, do you want me to call "Hot Head" mobile?"

"Fucking yes! C-call him please you fucking-!" Your heart drops when you feel a hand swipe your back, forcing your legs to work overtime to get you the fuck away from him. Sobbing with just how close he had gotten to grabbing you.

"Got it. Calling 'Hot Head' mobile." You could strangle technology sometimes you swear. You're literally fighting for your life and she's over here taking her sweet ass time.

Each ring has your stomach dropping, and the next swipe against your back has your heart in your throat making you realize you had to try something else.

Suddenly changing direction into an alleyway that has Jay slipping to follow you. Throwing trash cans, and other small items close enough that will hopefully slow him down.

Your body feeling instant relief when you finally hear that gruff, deep accented voice.

"Hey short pint, miss me already?" He sounds cocky with his mild flirt, but you could quickly feel his shift to concern. You haven't even spoken a word, but you knew he could hear your heavy breaths and it didn't help that a sob is quick to escape you shortly after he spoke.

"What's wrong?" You could hear him shuffle -likely standing up- along with the concerned voices of his brothers. "Is she hurt?! OH MY GOD IS SHE DYING?!?!-" You can hear him grunt as he likely shoves his hand in Mikey's face to push him away, effectively cutting him off. Usually it'd make you laugh, but not now.

"R-Raph please! I-I- he's going to kill me t-this time! I- I can't- he-"

"Slow down Princess, where are ya?" It seemed like he a plethora of other questions on the tip of his tongue, but he's a man that can prioritize.

You try to think your mind hazy. Trying to look at the signs as you run. "I-I'm on Madison a-avenue! i-I'll head towards central park but-"

Your scream when Jay actually grabs ahold of your hoodie, dragging you back towards him. You start fighting against him, and screaming as loud as you possibly can. Trying to take your hoodie off without dropping your phone.

Him waving his knife around in a threatening way has you ditching your phone and your hoodie, barely getting your cast through your sleeve and scrambling to get away yet again. Heart clenching with the worried voices and words of the brothers that are quickly fading the faster you run away.

Without his voice you feel as if there is no hope for you now but no, you just have to head for the park. You told him that you would. He is coming for you; you know he is. You know he'd never let anything bad happen to you if he could stop it, and he's on his way to stop it now. You just have to hold out a little longer.

You keep telling yourself that. A little longer. Just a little longer.

Before you know it, you're stumbling into central park. You're muscles are numb, your lungs burn and no matter how hard you try you're slowing down. You already weren't fast enough to outrun Jay at your best.

So, you steal your nerves. Whipping around and throwing your hands in the air as a way of surrender.

"Wait! Jay wait, please wait! l-Let's talk about this! a-About us! O-Okay?"

You can't fight him off, not when he has a knife. So maybe you can stall. Maybe somewhere in his twisted, dark heart he does feel something for you. Even if it's just enough to take pity on you.

He scoffs but opens his mouth to speak. It seems that he does.

"Why? You obviously don't love me anymore! After everything I gave you! After everything I've done for you! You were willing to throw it all away for one mistake! I said I was sorry, but you couldn't accept that! I hadn't meant to hit you; you just made me mad! Don't you know how much I love you? If you even loved me, you would have understood that and dropped the charges... but you didn't. I had to get my mother to bail me out because you don't love me!"

You sob, squeezing your eyes shut as your whole body shudders. You can see it now, the clear manipulation. His attempts to gaslight you- even now! Hands shaking as you nod.

"y... you're right. I'm s-s-sorry Jay. I love you- i-I love you so much- I-I'll drop the charges, okay? I... I shouldn't have made you m-mad- It was all my fault a-and I'm s-so- so sorry. Okay?" You didn't mean a damn word. The words only stumbling out of you for your own survival. Hoping this would quell him enough to not want to murder you in cold blood.

It seemed it was working. He slowly lowered his knife as your words processed in his mind. The hatred from his face leaving and being replaced with love.

No, not love. Pride. He felt proud and it made you sick to your stomach. It made you realize he never loved you; he was just proud with himself whenever he got his way when it came to you. When he couldn't get his way when it came to you, that's when he got mad.

You tremble as he opens his arms, his voice inviting you to come over for a hug to make up.

You don't want to. You don't want to be anywhere near him, in fact the space between you now isn't nearly enough for your liking. You're afraid you'll have too though. To keep this rouse up, making hesitant steps toward him.

You find you don't have to. In fact, you can't, it's a physical impossibility to get anywhere near him. Not with the wall of scutes in front of you. Crying with relief from that bright flash of Red you see at the top of the ginormous shell.

There his is. Raphael in all his glory. Your knight in shining red armor. You feel like you can breathe, you feel like years of stress is just melting away. The sob that hit you as your legs wobble and straight up give out. You're safe, finally. You're alive and will continue to be as such.

You expect to hit the ground when your legs give way, but somehow are not very surprised to be caught. Turning to look up at the terrapin in purple.

"(Y/n)? Are you alright?" He's pulling his goggles down before you can even respond. You just know he's already using that thing to scan you and make sure.

"y-Yeah I-" You honestly don't know what to say. You feel so overwhelmed now that it's over. Everything feels so distant and foggy. As if you're having an out of body experience in a dream.

Although a scream is all it takes to pull you right back down to Earth and in your body it seems. Look over to see the absolute fury on Raphael's face.

He had one of Jay's arms in his hand, making it look far smaller than it actually should be; although that was hardly the problem as it was definitely misshapen. Leo and Mikey trying to pull him back, trying to get him to just "Stop!" and "Think for a moment Raphael!"

Your body moves before your brain has a chance to think about it. Waltz right up and placing one of your much smaller hands on his gripping Jay's wrist, the other naturally landing on the forearm of his same arm.

"R-Raph please. i-It's not worth it."

His beautiful green eyes dart to yours, his expression immediately softening from a look of pure rage - dare you say even murderous. Eyes swimming with conflict as he looks back towards Jay. Trying to keep his resolve to tear him to shreds.

"Raphael please. He's not worth it. Please just... just carry me home. Please."

His full name has his whole head snapping to you. His resolve fleeting faster than it ever has before as he reluctantly lets go of Jay's arm. Letting him drop to the ground as he shakes his brothers off who seem relieved.

"Looks like ya've been saved by the bell, bitch. Don't let me catch sight of ya anywhere near (Y/n), ya hear? Or next time there won't be any bell that can save ya."

He huffs before he's turning towards you. Any leftover aggression completely gone as he bends over and scoops you right up off the ground and snug against his chest bride style.

Ignoring the full-on rant Donnie starts up about possible injuries and how he should be more careful lifting you after an event like that.

"You're fine, aren't you Princess?"

He's looking down at you, practically whispering the words. You can just tell Donnie's nagging got under his skin. He looks a bit concerned even if he won't let his show through his whispered breath.

"I'm fine.. now that you're here. My knight in shining red armor."

The dark green that spreads across his face is satisfying; his gaze that flickers away from yours is far more satisfying.

Yes, you would always be fine as long as you had your knight in shining red armor.

~

Should this have a part two? I feel like this should have a part two..

[yawujin]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hope your having a good day , can i plz request nsfw headcanons for the axis with a reader that tears up during sex ( not because its painful or uncomfortable but because she just tears up easily and it feels so good)

ouh this is right up my alley , i definitely can do this req for you 🤍 thank you !

{ request } axis x emotional! reader ♡

type • nsfw content , crying during sex , comfort , reaction , they/them pronouns used

author's note* yo it's totally natural to cry after or during sex btw! it can be intense, and sex in itself (to me at least) is a really emotional act! never feel like you need to hide your emotions and remember to communicate with your partner if needed. MWAH

n. italy/feliciano vargas

a look of concern washes over his face as he watches the first few tears fall from their eyes

he uses his thumb to wipe them away, rubbing their cheek in order to soothe them

he asks them for a quick kiss on the lips, gently pulling away so he can ask what went wrong

feli's relieved to hear that his beloved partner is just feeling everything he's giving to them ;)

germany/ludwig beilschmidt

he's stopping immediately to ask what happened

his heart is racing, and so is his mind, wondering what he could have possibly done to make them cry

did he hurt them? he would never do it intentionally

he's looking down—is he too much to handle...?

his panicked, heavy breathing slows down to a much calmer pace as they tell him that he's just too good

japan/kiku honda

his rhythm slows down to a halt as he politely asks them to look him in his eyes

"tell me what's wrong." he says it so seriously it's almost enough to get them to let out a small laugh

japan feels conflicted when they tell him that it felt amazing, he supposes something such as this could induce quite a reaction

although he didn't expect it, he proceeds. lowering his voice into a soft whisper against their ear, asking if he can continue now...

prussia/gilbert beilschmidt

he backs off as soon as he hears their tearful wince coming from under him

internally, he's freaking out. "WTF WHAT DID I DO?!"

but he knows how to approach a situation like this of course, so he asks if they should stop

he can't stop the red-hot feeling that is warming up his face when they plead with him not to stop, and the subsequent smile that comes right after he hears those exact words

s. italy/lovino vargas

he gets kind of embarrassed...wanting to kick himself for hurting his own partner

he quickly asks them if they need anything to feel better, offering them something to drink so they can hydrate

"if they're crying, they're going to need it..." he thinks to himself

he was ready to give them whatever they needed to help them feel better, but he wasn't expecting them to tell him that they needed him.

author's note* read part two here 🤍

[starmocha]

All of the smut scenes are written (three lol 😭✌️) no two diccs cry about it

I cannot emphasize enough that this is still an AU one-shot with me interpreting Sylus as an East Asian dragon with many Chinese/Vietnamese influences in the story

I can't wait to read his myth tomorrow and hopefully I can glean some canon details I can apply to this fic to make it feel even more like Sylus

I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel 🥹 A little project I started 2.5 months ago on a whim and some vibes, I didn't expect it to reach this high of a word count and still rising

OK, here's probably my last wip preview while I finish the story. (Maybe...7 more scenes? The first 2/3 of the story is more or less finished and the ending is already written. The climax is really the last part that is the most struggling to write right now even though I have the notes and scenes I want for it. 😔)

Prelude is already out! Read it if you haven't, and request to be added to the taglist if you're intrigued by the upcoming main story. <333

“Indeed,” he agreed, pouring some osmanthus wine into two crimson cups. He handed one to you. “We must enjoy a drink or two tonight.” “I would think some tea would be more appropriate with our mooncakes,” you argued, but you accepted the little cup nonetheless. You held it between your fingers and eyed it skeptically, remembering the last time you had drank some of his liquor and suffered the immediate consequence the following morning. “We can have some tea as well,” he said, smiling before tossing his drink back. He sighed blissfully, his eyes seemed to twinkle with joy. “With a good atmosphere, and some lovely company, it is only natural one would want to enjoy a drink or two.” You frowned at his cheeky reasoning, giving him a disapproving shake of your head, to which he only laughed it off. You scoffed, “You will say anything to find a reason to drink.” “I will not argue with that,” Shin answered, grinning. He poured another drink into his cup, and then to your surprise, he hooked his arm around yours, the wine cups crossed, yours moved closer to your lips while Shin’s was near his. “The alcohol is not as strong as what you had drank last time. You will enjoy this, Miss.” “Sh-Shin, what are you doing?” “We should practice,” he murmured, “For when we are wedded and share our first drink as husband and wife.” You blushed. The delicate floral scent of the osmanthus wafted from the wine cup. You looked at Shin, and he continued to smile, waiting for your next move. Your eyes softened. “You still want to marry me?” “I have never stopped,” he murmured, and you noticed a sad tinge in his eyes. You wondered why you would catch moments like this, when his smiles would disappear, and a cloak of melancholy seemed to cover him. “Such devoted words,” you whispered back, and he smiled again, but just as before, you saw no joy in his expression.

You can pass me by because you Forgot about me Because until you remember I will Wait for you ☆ Don’t ever forget the truth that I was by your side Don’t erase my heart that could sacrifice Everything for you ☆ My love, look at me Do you still love me?

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cold as ice II

a/n because why not take an opportunity to cry some more. I am so thankful for all the love honestly! You guys are the best!✨🤍

summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.

This can be read as a standalone but is written as a part two to Cold as ice.

warning: Killing, mentions of multiple death, loosing your kids, supplement use, mention of miscarriage, trauma but I think this is not as bad as the first part lol.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"How is she?", Tommy approached Joel in a tight corridor that was filled with both sobbing people and soldiers shouting. "The same," Joel ran a hand over his face, "They are moving everyone out of here today. To a different quarantine facility." Those words instantly sparked something in Joel. "What? Shit, she's still pumped up with meds", if the process of going there was as torture as it was getting here, you barely stood a chance.

"Joel", Tommy started, but Joel was all up at his face within a heartbeat, "Tommy, if you'll tell me one more fucking time to leave her by. I will blow out your brain's myself". The tone was anything but pleasant. Joel had been wanting to rip someone to pieces for some time now. He had beaten the stranger to a pulp here after the first day. The man was standing in front of the door that led to your room. Crunched down to look through the little window. Joel didn't ask questions; he just swung a punch. Nor did he remember much besides that when Tommy pulled him away, the man was nothing but a pool of blood.

"You know that's not what…", "She lost two kids…", Joel's words cracked mid-sentence as the thought of his two angels once again swirled in his mind. His biggest and most precious little bugs were taken away like that. "So did you, man", Tommy brought Joel closer to him. Joel's arms moved to grip the material of his brother's jacket. He didn't want to cry, but the sob had come out of nowhere. The past three days have been a nightmare and then some. Now Joel was sure that he was paying for all of his sins. Paying in the most brutal ways.

Dragging you away from the field was the second hardest thing Joel ever had to do. He could only pray that his arms would not let him down as he pressed you closer to his body. Joel wasn't sure what they injected into your neck once you reached an army van and practically ripped out the eyes of the soldier who tried to help you into the vehicle, but you collapsed immediately. Joel barely managed to catch you. He pressed your unconscious body against his. Just like he had for the past hour or so. Praying and hoping that you weren't gone. Joel couldn't lose all three of you. Now you were all he had to fight for. No matter how much pain he was in himself. Joel had to drag you both out of the darkness.

Then he sat in the chair next to your bed. If you could even call it that. When they had ushered everyone underground, Joel had bribed a nurse to give you three a room and make sure that a doctor would come to check you. At that time, the price didn't matter. He needed an answer. Needed to know that you were going to wake up. High dose of sedatives - the doctor had said. "But I doubt it'll keep her out for long. After two kids… My apologies. If I'll find any medication", he had placed a supportive palm on Joel's shoulder. Something that would also end up feeling so foreign soon.

If Joel thought seeing you unconscious was difficult, it didn't compare to the heartbreak he had to endure the moment you opened your eyes. You jolted with a gasp. Eyes jumped across the room as you tried to figure out where you were. "Love…", Joel stood up, slowly approaching you. "Sarah… Malakai," you murmured as you continued to look around. "How about a glass of water, huh?", Joel asked, hoping to sway the topic. But you pushed the blanket off your body. "Sarah and Malakai," you repeated. Joel clenched his jaw. "Sarah and Malakai," "Love, stay in bed," Joel put his hands on your legs, stopping you from pushing them over the edge. "Sarah…Malakai", you said once again, eyes looking up at Joel, "They killed them. I saw… I saw," you breathed out, pressing a finger to your forehead where the bullet had pierced your son's skull. "I know, baby, I know", Joel tried to gently hold onto you, but the moment his palms touched your arms, you let out the loudest scream. Pushing him away as you turned to the other side of the bed. You dragged your feet over the cold concrete. Sinking to the floor without even being able to take a step forward. Joel rounded the bed as he kneeled in front of you.

"They are dead," you cried out, pulling at Joel's shirt, "My babies… I need to go, I need to…", you tried to pull yourself up by using Joel to brace yourself, but that only made you glance down at your hands, which were still slightly stained by the dried blood that had been on them. "Y/N, you need to calm down. Or they will come in here and", but you paid Joel no mind as you pulled your hands up so you could look at them.

"Get it off," you whispered, "Get it off," pushing your arms towards Joel as you screeched. Joel had scrubbed your unconscious body for hours. There was nothing more he could do. "Joel, get it off," you said once more, tears spilling from your eyes, and Joel couldn't bring himself to do anything. "It's everywhere, get it off", you moved your hand to rub at your skin. All you saw was blood. Blood everywhere. Rubbing turned into scratching, and soon your nails were raking over your skin. Joel quickly caught both of your wrists in his hands. Shaking you slightly as if in hopes of making your return to your senses. "Make it stop", you cried out, hallow eyes looking at Joel. "There's nothing on your hands, love", he barely managed to sound somewhat like himself. But you just shook your head at him, "There's blood all over them. Our kids' blood, Joel."

That was a day ago. Now you just lay there. Leafless. No movements. Eyes blinking once in a while. The only indication that you were still alive. Now Joel wished you would scream. The silence was torture. It was too loud. It pulled you so far away from him. Tommy clapped his brother on the back a couple of times before pulling away. "Get her ready. I'll look at how to get the best spot for you and make sure you two stay together," Joel said nothing. He hoped his eyes said enough. "You look after her. We'll get her back up on her feet," Joel could tell that even if Tommy tried to keep it somewhat positive, he didn't fully believe it himself. Didn't believe that there was any coming back from this. Nor did he believe that you would ever be the same. But Joel nodded anyway.

"Hey", Joel ran a hand over your forehead, once he stepped back into the little room, but didn't get a single movement in return. Not that he was expecting it. "We will have to get you dressed, okay? Then we'll need to go somewhere," Joel said, carefully pulling the blanket off your body before reaching for your clothes. Clothes he had washed. Wash off your kids' blood. Blood that seemed never-ending.

You were shivering. It hadn't stopped ever since you were brought in the first QZ. It had died down a bit. But there wasn't a moment when the quivering stopped. Joel pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked through the corridor. Everyone was on high alert, and the soldiers were tired. Jumpy even. More than one person was killed here simply in the aftermath of unimaginable stress and anxiety. They only let healthy, strong people stay. Anyone with any injury, even the slightest one, was shot. You needed to stand on your own two feet. Walk through the lines of different specialists. Prove yourself worthy of surviving. And even that didn't guarantee you anything. You could have been hit by a bullet at any point.

You, however, were in no condition to stand. There was no way you could walk, much less talk. "Keep your head at the crook of my neck, love", Joel guided your head to rest there, "I will not let go of you even for a second. No one who will approach us will take you away from me," and at this point, Joel wasn't sure if he was still reassuring you or if it had turned to self-reassuring now. With the help of the doctor who assisted you just as you were brought here. They filed the documents of you having a miscarriage. Right here at the QZ. A piece of paper that had the main doctor's signature and forbade you from walking. That had high dosages of medicine marked as a fallacious move by the doctor itself. That you were more than a healthy female before that, and that you would regain that strength once the medication wore off. The only hope Joel had of getting you out of here alive was that piece of paper. And if that didn't work… Well, Joel was ready to kill anyone who stood in his way.

"Joel," Ellie's sad voice pulled the male out of the trance, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this." Joel rested his palms on his knees, ready to stand up, but Ellie quickly inched forward. It seemed to her that the man in front of her was no longer the same Joel she knew. "How did you… how did you get through that?", she knew the question was stupid. Joel let out a sad chuckle followed by a painful sigh, "You don't even have an idea how much strength you have until you are forced to use it. That's when you truly see your power". Joel had locked his pain away. Behind a plethora of locks, doors, and crevices. So no one could see it. No one could access it. Draped a shield of coldness on top of it. The coldness made Joel seem more like an animal than a human. He had to become a monster in order to protect the only thing that kept his heart beating. Nothing was off-limits when it came to you.

"I felt like I was failing every day. Every day that I saw her lying there," Joel shook his head at the images that haunted him. The feeling of helplessness flowed through him. Joel had found a woman who could pretend to be you for the time being. Who could take your evening shifts. Who kept the target off your back. No one was allowed to lay around in the QZ, there was too much work as it was. "Joel you were far from failing her", Ellie said putting her hand on Joel's palm, "It feels different kiddo when you see someone you love drifting away".

All the worried looks that Joel would give you made sense now. All the times he would walk up to you. Taking a hold of your hand as he looked at you. Moving to kiss your hands at the time, if not that then, Joel would just hold them in his much bigger palms. At the time, Ellie thought that by doing that, Joel was just trying to warm them up during the cold evenings, but now it had a way bigger meaning behind it. That was Joel's silent attempt to make sure that you stayed with him. That you wouldn't drift away. Like a true guard at night, standing his watch. Always ready to fight for you.

"And I felt horrible that I left him all alone", the sound of your voice made the two of them turn toward the door. "I kept on telling myself to get up. You need to do that for Joel, but…", you shrugged your shoulders. Joel reached his arm towards you, and you instantly walked close to him. Settling down on his lap. His arm snaked around your middle as Joel pressed a loving kiss to the top of your head. "I never blamed you for it," Joel whispered, looking straight into your eyes. "I know because you're an angel." You cupped his face gently. Leaning in to press your forehead to his. Brushing your fingers under Joel's eyes as you wiped away the last tears.

This man was everything. If you'd fallen for him and his sense of humor back then. The fact that there was never a dull moment with him that even the most serious moments could be turned into fits of laughter. If you had fallen for how attentive and caring he was toward your kids. The way he always put them first. The way he sat in the bathroom for hours learning how to braid Sarah's hair or how he played astronauts with Momo even after the longest shift. Putting him over his shoulder or back as he ran around the living room making all sorts of noises. Then Joel turned into a rock—a whole mountain that shielded you from the restless sea that threatened to drown you. Never moving. Never scared.

"I don't want you to feel like we've been using you as some sort of… as our kids' replacement. The love I feel towards you…" you started, but Ellie quickly shook her head. "How could I? No, Y/N never," she said quickly, and you reached for her hands. "You are a special girl, Ellie, so special," you said as you brushed your fingers over her cheek, and she leaned into your touch. Trying to savor it for as long as possible. "You both are like my parents and I've never felt that..", Ellie's bottom lip trembled. Joel reached out to her as well.

"And you are our girl," Joel said, his voice shaky, but he knew he had to say it. Had to let her know that his coldness toward her at the start was just his defensive response. His fear of the unknown. The fear of it all ending the same. But Joel knew that once his nightmare shifted and he started to see Ellie dying in Sarah's or Momo's place, he knew that she had sneaked past his guard. Ellie had managed to find that well-hidden spark inside Joel's heart. And there was nothing that could have been done about it.

Ellie wrapped her hands over both of your shoulders, pulling you both into a hug. A light cry slipped from her lips. Your hand instantly moved to rub her back in hopes of soothing her. Joel pressed a tender kiss to the crown of her head before turning his eyes to you. Your teary eyes were already looking back at him. You mouthed a silent "I love you" to him, which Joel returned straight away, followed by a light smile.

Once Ellie pulled away, you both looked at her with fondness. "Thank you for sharing this with me. You didn't have to, but you did," she said, as you rubbed away her tears the same way you had done before. "You are a part of the family now. Family doesn't have secrets," you said softly. "Plus, I think me and Y/N both needed closure", you nodded your head at Joel's words. You had told him multiple times that it was eating you alive that you were keeping this way from Ellie. You could tell that she sensed that something was wrong; she just never asked.

"Do you want to see a picture of them?", you asked, turning to Joel, who you knew had kept a picture of you four. The one he always carried around with him. Tommy had taken it on Momo's second birthday. The summer was in full swing, so you decided to have a barbecue outside. You stood there in a flowy dress, laughing at Sarah, who had a surprised look on her face since Joel had rubbed barbecue sauce on her cheek. Joel's head was thrown back as he laughed. Even Momo, who was nestled in your arms, had somewhat of a grin on his face.

"Sarah would have loved you", Ellie lifted her eyes away from the picture to the sound of Joel's voice. You hummed in agreement, "Momo would have been all over you as well you two cheeky bunch would have gotten into so much trouble". Ellie glanced back down. The image that she saw frozen in front of her seemed almost impossible compared to the two people she had met. But now she knew more than better to not judge the book by its cover. The deepest and most painful scars were always hidden the deepest.

"I would have loved to know them", Ellie said dragging her finger over their faces, "Momo, looks like a minute version of Joel". You let out a little laugh, "That's what I said. Imagine how mad I was after carrying him for nine months and he popped out looking nothing like me". Joel cracked a smile, looking down at the photograph himself. The one he barely pulled out these days.

"If we stay in Jackson, we must build them memorial stones and plant flowers all around them," Ellie said firmly. The tears picked up at the corners of your eyes as you gazed at her. "That's a really beautiful idea, Ellie bear," you said, running your fingers over her hair. Joel nudged Ellie's side playfully, making her let out a chuckle before he brought you closer to him once again. Time healed scars, even if slowly. But you two were here and now you had Ellie by your side. Your hearts, even if covered in scars, still beat for one another. Together, you were capable of anything and everything. Life has already proven that.

[kuamiru]

The Golden Child Part II

SAGAU & Impostor AU where the reader is the child of the actual creator.

Warnings: blood, panic attack, mention of suicide.

If you haven't read part 1 yet, you can find it here.

Humidity felt awful. The tall and wet grass gave an uncomfortable sensation every time you walked another step. The tall trees blocked your vision; it was impossible to see what lay beyond the forest. The flora and fauna were drastically different from what you knew in Liyue; no matter how hard you tried, you could not recognize a single animal or plant.

Your eyes were focused on the road ahead, simply watching the dirt below your feet as your mind wandered about the events that led you to this situation. You no longer had any tears to cry, you spent the first hour of your walk weeping and mourning for the life that you lost.

Now, you could only move forward.

The sun that once stood on top of the sky was starting to slowly disappear into the horizon. It wouldn't be long before night arrived, and you had yet to find some sort of civilization to ask for help.

Strange noises managed to snap you out of your thoughts. As you weren't paying attention to your surroundings, you failed to notice three strange persons standing right in front of you, blocking your path. Two buff and strong men and a tall, slim woman looked down at you menacingly. As they bore similar clothes colored red and gold, it was safe to assume that they all were in the same group or clan of some sorts.

You immediately stopped walking and moved your backpack to the front to hug it in your chest as a way to both have a false sense of security and an easier access to the dagger hidden inside.

"So is this it? The shrimp we were tasked to retrieve?" The woman asked as she crossed her arms. You could not see her eyes as they were covered by a red cloth, but it was evident she was raising a brow.

"Watch your mouth." One of the men spoke. "Remember what we were told: safely secure the child and not do anything that could upset them."

So, were these strangers planning to take you? Did they have any connections to that archon that fought your dad? Was that why they were there, to bring you back to Liyue?

Impulsed by your fear, you took one step backward.

The other man seemed to notice this, for he approached you in just one big step. He crouched to look at you in the eyes in an attempt to look less intimidating. It didn't quite work as planned as you just flinched. "Hey it's okay, little one. We won't hurt you. We are here to take you to Lord Sang—"

"Stop right there!"

The man was interrupted by an arrow impacting right in front of his feet, surprising him and making him stand up in alarm. The other two were also alerted and readied their weapons; a bow and two swords were in hand to fight whoever was attacking them.

A young boy descended from the tree on top of you. He landed unscathed in front of you, between the man that previously approached you and your smaller form. His fox-like tail was tense behind him, simulating that of the wild animals when they were alert, ready to strike. His long and fluffy ears twitched at every sound his enemies made, taking advantage of his animal blood to have the advantage on this situation.

"I didn't know Eremites would step so low as to corner a lonely child in the forest." He said, drawing his bow and aiming it at the stranger in front of him. "I'll give you this chance to leave. If you do not, I won't hesitate to throw you out by force."

The group looked at each other. However, none of them put down their weapon.

"Sorry, little forest watcher. We have a job to do." The woman warned.

"We advise you to step aside." The man with the swords said.

Those comments enraged the newcomer. From his point of view, these Eremites were picking on a kid just to rob them. Maybe even something worse.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Before you had any time to react, both the fox boy and the three mercenaries started to attack each other. Arrows and strikes started to flow from everywhere, making you crawl to safety behind the thickest tree around. You closed your eyes tightly and covered your ears with your hands. The sound of fighting reminded you of what transpired earlier in The Chasm... It was just like that time when your father and that archon exchanged blows, one determined to get to you and the other to protect you.

It was just the same.

The clashing didn't stop. Your heartbeat increased with each parry that resonated behind your hiding spot. Soon, all you could hear was the thump of your heart hitting your ears, the fight long forgotten as you could not even remember it was happening thanks to the desperation you were starting to feel. Your breathing got out of control, and your chest soon started to hurt, too. If felt as if your heart wanted to devour your whole body and you could do nothing to stop it—

"Breathe, kid. I need you to take a deep inhale and hold your breath for a second before exhaling. Inhale, exhale."

You didn't know who was talking in front of you, their muffled voice barely reached you through the loud thumping in your chest and ears. They repeated the same words over and over again, and soon you started to obey them in hopes of stop hurting. Inhaling, exhaling. It took a few tries, but your breathing soon became more and more stabilized, and your heart wasn't so loud anymore.

The person crouching in front of you breathed a sigh of relief, and you didn't even know you were crying until they wiped a tear escaping from your left eye. Now that you were calmer, you noticed that your vision was also blurry, however, it was also getting better.

"There now, you're alright." The boy in front of you said. His silhouette was now familiar as you recognized the fox-like features in his body. "Feel any better?"

You nodded rather uncertainly. You still felt agitated, but it was certainly better than a minute ago.

"That's good." He smiled. "You're safe now, okay? Those Eremites can't hurt you now."

He took your little arms in his hands and made you release the backpack you were still clinging to. As you let it go, you noticed how red and swollen your hand and fingers were. It seemed that you were grabbing it with too much force.

"I'm sure this was frightening to such a young kid like you... Judging by the way you dress, I assume you're from Liyue, am I wrong?"

You shook your head 'no'. He smiled, content by your response.

"And what about your parents? Are you all merchants? That's why those mercenaries attacked you here in the forest?"

You knew he didn't have any bad intentions and was just asking in hopes of helping you, but it didn't make it hurt any less the mention of your parents. You raised your knees to your chest and hid your face in them. The boy visibly saddened thanks to your action. In his eyes, those Eremites attacked your family in hopes of robbing you and ended up killing your parents when they struggled. He couldn't think of anything else.

"It's okay little one, it's okay now..." He sat beside you and surrounded your shoulders with his left arm. This helped him bring you closer to his body, using his fluffy tail to bring some comfort by gently caressing your back. "You're safe."

The tickling feeling of the hair of his tail going up and down your back brought a positive reaction out of you. It made you involuntarily laugh, and he seemed pleased by this.

"How about you tell me your name, hm?" His kind eyes complemented his soothing smile. You shyly offered your name, and he seemed to shine brightly at the achievement of finally hearing your voice. "That's an absolutely beautiful name! Mine's Tighnari, though I fear it pales in comparison to yours."

You giggled at his words. "But I like your name. It's pretty."

Tighnari ruffled your hair with a laugh. "Well thank you, little one. That's very kind of you."

You were now relaxed, you even had a small smile on your face. This was the perfect opportunity to exit the forest and return to Gandharva Ville; he would think of what to do next once he got you to safety.

He stood up and extended his hand in your direction, helping you stand up once you took it in your smaller hand.

"We'll go to the ville I live, okay? Once we're there, you can get comfortable and tell me everything that happened." He promised. You nodded once more, and, still hugging your backpack with your free arm, you let the young archer guide you through the forest. He started to walk in the opposite direction of where the fight happened, but curiosity got the better of you and turned your head briefly to see what was left of the fight. You barely got to see the three unconscious bodies before the trees blocked your vision.

.

You were sure you would never be able to see such settlements back in Liyue.

The large trunk of a tree was the base of a little ville hidden in the middle of the forest. The place was filled with forest rangers patrolling the nearby areas, all of them greeting Tighnari once you both appeared right at the entrance.

Being around so many strangers filled you with uneasiness, so naturally, you clung to the only person you knew. Tighnari didn't seem to mind; in fact, it was as if the hold gave him a new surge of energy, for he increased the speed of his walking and returned every greeting with excitement. He even took this opportunity to wrap his tail around your torso.

The road ended in front of a wooden cabin. You stared at it for a moment, thinking about your current situation. Was this okay? This boy certainly promised to help you, he even rescued you from that scary people back in the forest. 'Don't enter a stranger's house' your parent would always tell you...

But did you have any other option right now?

Tighnare looked back at you and offered a gentle smile. "It's okay, I'm with you."

He gently tugged your arm, and you started walking again. You both entered the tiny house, surprised to see a girl already inside, seemingly writing in a notebook while sitting on the desk.

"Collei, I'm back." Tighnari said, and the girl turned to face him once she heard his voice. The big smile on her face quickly morphed into a semblance of pure confusion.

"Oh, who is this?" Collei approached you, kneeling in front of you before offering you a small smile. "Hello little one! My name is Collei. You are not from around here, are you?"

You instinctively hid behind Tighnari. He laughed. "No, they are not. I fear their family might have been a victim of Eremites."

"But I thought Eremites were just mercenaries? Did someone hire them to attack their family?"

He shrugged. He really didn't have a clue. If this child's parents were wealthy or renowned merchants then it would make sense for someone to have a grudge on them.

You slowly revealed yourself from behind the boy. This girl seemed friendly enough.

"Hi Collei." You offered. "Nice to meet you."

Collei gasped. This child was so cute! And so polite, too. She couldn't fight the impulse of hugging you, in just a second you were scooped into her arms and away from the archer, a meter above the ground.

For Tighnari, that small action made him feel like his world was crumbling... Suddenly he felt alone, suffocated, overwhelmed by anguish. The moment he stopped touching the child he swore he could sense his heart breaking in a million pieces.

No, no!

He didn't even realize what he had done until he heard Collei say his name and the pained whimpers of the child. He was grabbing your small arm rather roughly, for he could see the redness of the skin below his hand. Collei was doing her best in trying not to drop you, as he was trying to bring you closer to him not really caring that you were in the arms of another person.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry...!" He excused himself quickly. He let go of you, and guilt was born in his heart when he saw how you gently rubbed the area where he held you.

Collei was staring at him with a worried expression, but Tighnari didn't really care. He looked at the hand that was used to grab you.

He was certain he didn't imagine it. Every second he touched your small frame... he felt full of life, vigor, energy. A newfound euphoria that made him believe he could achieve anything in this world. He could think of the happiest day in his life and how he felt then would never come close to the way you made him feel.

He raised his eyes and his heart dropped when he found yours full of tears. Oh, this was bad! Please, please don't cry! He'd rather kill himself before being the cause of your weeping—

He was just about to drop to the floor and apologize when a forest ranger entered the cabin in a hurry. She was out of breath, as if she had been running from the edge of the forest to here without taking a break.

"Tighnari, we- we have problems!" She said as best as she could. "Eremites! A group of Eremites is attacking Gandharva Ville ad nauseam!"

"What?!" Both Tighnari and Collei exclaimed. They exchanged a glance between each other, a silent form of communication that only they could understand.

"They're here for them..." He gritted his teeth. What could possibly a group of mercenaries want with a little kid?! Even worse, behind them was a mysterious employer... Someone who was adamant about taking this child. Just the thought of it made his blood boil. "Stay here with them! I'll kill those damn Eremites for trying to harm this one!"

The rage in his voice made the girl give a step backward in shock. She has never seen her friend that angry before... no, he wasn't angry; he was furious.

He wasted no second in summoning his bow and following the fellow forest ranger in the fight outside.

Had you heard right? Were the people from the forest back for you? Ah, the thought of it made you feel sick... What did they even want from you? Could they've been sent from those archons to capture you? Was taking the lives of your papa and tata not enough?

You started to move in Collei's arms, demanding to be put down. She obliged your silent request and carefully let you go from her arms. However, the moment she let go, it felt as if someone tore her heart from her chest and crushed it before her eyes. No way, could this be what Tighnari experienced and made him react that way?

She summoned her bow and shouted your name when she saw you run outside to see what was happening.

The entire ville was replete of Eremites clashing weapons with forest rangers and even some forest watchers. The few civilians that lived there tried to escape through secret passages or deserted places, just to be stopped and apprehended by the invaders.

Collei barely had any time to reach you to pull you inside when an Eremite spotted you two. "There! I see the child!"

Tighnari snapped his head from where he was fighting to look at you, every hair of his body standing up with the rage he was feeling. "DON'T YOU DARE!!" He shouted before firing an arrow at his opponent, piercing their stomach without effort. He needed to get to them, he couldn't let these damn Eremites steal you and take with them all the euphoria and joy he felt.

As he started to hop on the stairs to stop a man that was rushing to the cabin, he failed to notice a woman pointing her own bow and arrow right at him. And just as he was about to grab the man, a sharp pain made him stumble and fall as he clutched his side. Crimson flowed from the wound the arrow had made. Fuck, he would need medical help soon.

He shouted your name, trying to see your small from where he was lying. This proved to be futile as the woman who had shot him moved to stand in front of him, between him and the cabin.

Collei managed to pull you back inside just as the man appeared on the entrance. The girl stood protectively in front of you, having drawn her bow as a way to defend both of you. The Eremite, however, didn't move to attack her. He approached you both and didn't seem to be intimidated even when Collei's arrow was pointing at his head.

"You." He said, looking right at you. "We've come for you."

"You'll have to get through me first." Collei warned.

"Oh, please." The man laughed. "We have orders not to kill anybody, but we certainly can use force to take them with us."

She didn't know what to do. This man seemed way stronger than her. Could she even defeat him in a fight?

"Wait, don't- don't hurt her!" You exclaimed behind her form. You clung onto her scarf tightly, terrified of the situation you were in. You could not let any more people be hurt to protect you! You had to be strong; your father and your parent would've wanted you to be brave. "Please stop attacking the ville, they have nothing to do with me..."

"Certainly. If you come with us we can end this without hurting anyone else. What do you say?"

Collei refused fiercely, but you didn't share her thoughts. You nodded and slowly separated from her body to approach the waiting man. This sent Collei in a panic. She tried to grab you by the neck but was promptly stopped by the handle of a polearm hitting her stomach. She instinctively grabbed the area as she fell to the floor, the impact having made her lose her breath.

"Ah, Collei!" You tried to go to her to see if she was okay, but the man managed to pick you up from your clothes and throw you in his shoulder.

"Worry not, little one. We didn't hurt anyone severely. Now let's go, Lord Sangemah Bay is waiting for you."

Wait, Lord Sangemah Bay? That was the person your father wanted you to find. So these people were sent by them to retrieve you? Had you known beforehand, you would've gone with them back in the forest. Without having to hurt anyone here.

The man brought you outside and whistled. The remaining Eremited heed his call and promptly evacuated the ville, the wounded helped by the stronger members.

The man also took off with you still secured in his shoulder, and you barely could hear the shouts of your name coming from the ville as you got farther and farther away.

——————————

Hello! This is a taglist. Should you wish for me to add or remove you, you can ask for it.

Due to the overwhelming support you've given me, I fear I might have forgotten some people who kindly asked to be tagged. If you do not find yourself here, please do tell me. I've saved every username but there's a possibility that I've missed yours when I made the list.

However, I don't know why I can't tag some blogs. I hope this reaches you well.

@cryastre • @someone-with-wild-imagination • @esthelily • @ursinaw • @shizunxie • @meep13r • @clayallor • @yuyuzi-ling • @atsukawolfcat • @yandere-city • @teethmunchertimes • @shinydrakeon15 • @d4ff0d1l14 • @thelonelyarchon • @shadowfoxey • @lunarianillusion • @sarah-saystuff • @scarletttcroww • @insomniackae • @mochicurls21 • @him3ru • @elernity • @d3sperate-enuf • @devils-blackrose • @heather-hutchcroft • @internet-4ngel • @crueldinasty • @yourlocaldrugdealerbutfancy • @almighty-raiden-shogunate • @itz-luna • @kaveh-is-pretty • @yuumaofc • @ratorose • @justlostintheinternet • @angelkazusstuff • @jellidecoffee • @deadflycomputerlogs • @valeriele3 • @no-regrets-just-confusion • @chidouna • @hikaru-exe • @leafanonsforest • @formacoon • @chuuya-brainrot • @fantsyland • @red1sg0n3 • @m3q3kic • @toodledoodl3 • @juuuuuj101010 • @fancyhawk45 • @bre99 • @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff •@bre99

[thatstonedwriter]

Never Again

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Content; polyam fizz/Ozzie/reader, mentions of severe injury, blood, romantic relationships, gender neutral, no pronouns

• No specific scene or episode is mentioned, only the aftermath and care reader would receive •

A/N- angst. Sweet, sweet angst. Thank you for the prompt! I made these into drabbles instead of headcanons so I could properly address these topics. I hope that's alright. Please let me know if you have any critiques on how to handle these themes. <3

Feat; Fizzarolli x Ozzie, Stolas, Blitz

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Everything stops- there's no air. What did you do? Why aren't you moving? You're like this because you were making sure they didn't get hurt. Its their fault, they know they have to do.. Something, but..

Fizzarolli doesn't know what to do, and has frozen in place. Asmodeus is the first to act, immediately picking you and Fizz up and carrying you to the nearest hospital, where you're treated for various injuries. Deep cuts that required stitches, broken bones, and blood. So much that it was difficult to tell whose it was. With how slow the Hospitals in Sloth are, Fizz and Ozzie quickly get frustrated and demand updates. They don't leave the hospital. They barely leave the room to get food. Instead, they settle on whatever is in the vending machine across the hall. Constant fussing and "Never do that again," "You're like this because of us," and similar guilt ridden confessions bombard you. The second you're cleared to leave, the three of you practically teleport back home, where you're not allowed to do anything. Fizz stays with you all the time, watching movies, snuggling in bed, and helping you stay clean and hydrated. Meanwhile, Ozzie cooks and cleans, and if there's any reason he has to leave, he assigns several security guards to ensure neither you, nor Fizz, have to go through something like that ever again.

The words he wants to scream are stuck in his throat until, finally, Stolas manages to yell for help, scrambling to hold and examine you, despite his condition. He's mumbling "why'd you do this," and gently running his hands along your face until help arrives. He's following you as closely as they'd allow him. Your injuries, he's told, need a lot of attention, even some surgery. And once again, the distressing news paired with no urgency made him want to scream. Once you're stable, he's there with your favorite foods, pillows, and bouquets of those lil carnivorous plants. He apologizes profusely, insisting its all his fault and he should've never allowed it to happen. After a lot of reassurance, he finally seceded. Once he brings you home, you have several members of Stolas' staff tending to your every need. If you're in a stable enough condition, Stolas clings to you, only letting go (begrudgingly) if you have to use the bathroom, do physical therapy, etc. You'll watch the Hella-Novelas he's obsessed with, he'll read to you, and helps you take your meds or change bandages. Seeing your injuries, the gravity of it hits him.. how close he was to losing you forever.

Blitz goes numb. This was too familiar. Someone was hurt because of him. His- you.. Were hurt because of him. He's by your side. He didn't remember moving, but he's here and scanning your injuries. He rips his coat, using it to wrap your wounds. He's trying to clean off the blood, but there's no way he can do this alone. he can't save you- not himself. He grabs his phone to call for help- "SATAN'S ASSCRACK, GET HERE FASTER! FUCK!!" from there, It's all a blur. He doesn't remember moving or speaking. Only seeing you be rushed into surgery. Sitting in the waiting room. Sitting by your side. The only thing keeping him sane was the steady beep of the heart monitor. You're still here. He's sure once you're awake, you'll kick him out, say you never want to see him again. He didn't realize he was crying until he hears your voice. It just makes him cry harder. He wanted to run. He didn't want to face another failed relationship. Luckily, he stayed long enough to actually listen to you, and while he still feels guilty, he's so grateful that you don't hate him. And right now, he can breathe easier knowing he can still be in your life. Your recovery process is an excuse (as if he needs one) for him to "drop by" and keep you company. This turns to sleep overs, and watching movies late night, and laughing together until you can't breathe. He'll never take this for granted again.

[christronomy]

Hi!! Its the anon who sent in the chan car ride hard thought with the insta reel, if u remember me. But i have came to give u a new hard thought. First off, HAVE YOU SEEN THE VID OF CHAN DOING THAT LIL FINGER MOVE IN HALL OF FAME?!? i feel dizzy. 😵‍💫 anyways, onto my hard thought, picture this, y/n is scrolling on twt and that tweet that says imagine chan fingering you till you cry (or sum like that i hope you know what tweet im talking abt) and it has the chan vid attached to it, THEN BANGCHAN COMES INTO THE ROOM AND CATCHES Y/N AND FINGERS HEER OMGGGG (also i jus noticed that i used twt and tweet instead of X, sorry lol)

of course i remember you! hi, love! and YES, of course i saw that tweet, and i feel totally not normal about it! i would link them but i can't remember which accounts they're from sigh. also i hate calling it "x" bc cause wtf is that. LMAO

but onto this gem of a thought. honestly, he'd tease you so much if he caught you gushing over those tweets, he'd be so sweet about it though. if you don't mind i wanna add some more to this under the cut cause it just came to mind hehe (it's so long and i didn't proof read. help).

he caught you trying to finger yourself in his dorm room after spending almost hours scrolling through your timeline. you weren't really expecting to see anything interesting, but the only thing that popped up was the clips of him and that finger movement that caught your attention and immediately drove you insane. you couldn't help but keep watching the same clip over and over again in awe. it was just so attractive, especially when he made that certain expression and looked right straight at the camera, almost as if he were looking right at you.

so here you were now, desperately bucking your hips up against your hand, sticking your fingers as far inside your cunt as you could, palming your clit to gain some extra friction. you whined exasperatedly as you failed miserably yet again, not being able to get that stimulation you so desperately wanted.

chan got home a few minutes ago, so he's already been watching you, chuckling to himself softly cause you just look so cute like that—legs spread, face flushed a bright red, fucking your fingers in and out of your sopping hole. you keep going for a few more minutes, until you finally toss your head back to groan in frustration because it's just not enough.

his cock is already twitching, straining in his pants at the sight of you, so he can't help but open the door, and he finds it cute how you immediately close your legs and draw your hand back, the surprise of having been caught in the act showing on your face. he laughs softly and sits next to you on the bed. "what's wrong, love? you upset?" he asks, his tone teasing, yet sweet, and you can tell it's because he knows exactly what you were doing.

you nod and sigh, trying your best to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you were naked on your boyfriend's bed, alone, when you knew he'd always expected you to wait for him whenever you needed to get off. "i was scrolling through twitter, and i saw these tweets about you... i got curious so i spent a while looking at them, and then..." you trail off with a gasp as he suddenly grabs your phone from where you'd put it next to you on the bed. you try to snatch it back, but he's a lot quicker than you. he scrolls a little bit, his expression serious, and then a smug smile plays at the corner of his lips as he looks at you again.

"aw baby, is this why you were so hot and bothered?" he asks, as he shows you one of the clips he was looking at, the same one from earlier, and your face turns an even darker shade of red as you nod. "that why you were using your cute little fingers, even though you know they're not good enough? you've got me right here. you could've asked me instead of just watching videos of me. i'll do whatever you want as long as i can make you feel good."

you feel like you're melting at the way condescension practically drips off his tongue, and you let him spread your legs for you again, this time using his own fingers to tease your swollen bud. he's such a dream come true. "'m sorry i couldn't wait for you," you start, but he shushes you softly. "that's okay, baby. i'm here now. i can help you," he says, and you want to thank him, but your words are cut short by the almost embarrassingly loud squeal that escapes your throat when he suddenly sticks his pointer and middle fingers in without warning, curling them just right, just like in that clip, finally giving you that pleasure you'd been chasing for hours now.

he watches you intently, from the way your back arches, to the way you clench around his fingers, but his expression stays blank. it doesn't take you that long to cum, and when you do, he doesn't stop. you look at him with furrowed brows, whining from the overstimulation, and he simply chuckles at your expression, not saying anything as he keeps torturing your walls with his fingers mercilessly. he's pushing you close to the edge all over again surprisingly quickly, and once you reach your second orgasm, you're already asking him to slow down, stop for a minute, so you can catch your breath. still, he doesn't. by the time you reach your fourth orgasm, you're already a sobbing stuttering mess as he makes you even more dumb on his fingers, begging him to stop, but that only makes him go much faster, his palm smacking your clit as he does so.

"this how needy you are for me? wanting to get yourself off without me cause of some video? you poor thing, thinking your fingers alone would satisfy you. you know you can't do it without me. guess i just have to remind you, hmm?"