#i remember her showing him off at work and i was like: that is just a dude lmao

[cosmosluckycharms]

Showtime☆

pt2

Lullaby In Blue

When you finally get to the manor, it's dark out.

You were so sleepy. You just wanted your momma. You just wanted your grandpa.

You assume that when you get home, your father will take you in with open arms and talk as sweetly as your momma said.

Unfortunately for you, unlike how momma described him, he's cold and hard to decipher...

You look up at him in a mix of curiosity and excitement. He looked so cool! he was wearing a fancy outfit and he just looked so cool! The only thing that threw you off was how he looked so.....tired.

"WOAH!! You look so cool! Are you my dad? Momma has said so many good things about you! How about that one time when you-" He cut you off.

"Alfred, show her to her room if you will." he started walking away.

Your heart broke a little at that, but it's okay! You win him over sometime! For now, you need a nap.

Alfred walks you to your room while profusely apologizing about Bruce.

You walk into your room. And it's clear they didn't do much research on you...

The toys were better suited for a kid younger than you, maybe around 4 or 5 years old.

You don't complain though, the room is huge and you have a bigger bed than you can imagine!

You have your bedroom and walk-in closet! Alfred says to sleep and tomorrow they'll sort out the room and make it more for you.

The next morning you wake up and decide to unpack a bit.

You didn't have much, just a few clothing items, jewelry from your momma, a few picture frames, and some of momma's old stuff such as paintings and her cassettes of movies.

As soon as you finished unpacking Alfred came to call you down for breakfast.

You go downstairs to see at the table your father, a boy around 23 with black hair, and another boy who looked around 18 years old with also black hair with a white patch.

You introduced yourself to them like your momma taught you.

"Hello!! im Y/N L/N!!! Well, actually I don't know about L/N now because technically he is my dad," you point to Bruce. "I'm kinda hungry," before you could continue with your ramble Alfred shut you up with a plate of pancakes in front of you.

It's clear to everyone but you that 7 in the morning is too early to be this hyper and nonsensical.

"Oo! pancakes! I love pancakes! They're my favorite! My grandpa makes it from scratch-" You pause for a second, a very slight stop that makes your eyes water up a little.

No one could notice it.

Well besides the literal detectives sitting at the table.

You continued rambling for a bit before Alfred mentioned a playground in the backyard, recently designed for you.

"WOAH that's so cool! Can I go play on it? Please?" you made sure to drag the 'e' in 'please', that's how it always worked on momma.

He allowed you to and you quickly got off your chair.

You were about to play outside before realizing you were nowhere near ready to play outside, you still had your PJs on, and your fuzzy socks!

You ran to your room to get ready for the day, which was difficult because momma would always help usually

You were trying not to look sad, you shouldn't be sad. You should be thankful for all the things they're doing for you.

After a couple of hours of playing on the mini playground, you got tired.

You decided to get back inside and eat.

You went inside and saw it was empty. You decided to go into your room and take a nap.

You walked in and realized you forgot to go shopping with Alfred! All the things in your room were baby things, and you only had two other pairs of clothes to wear!

You didn't mind though.

You lay down on the carpet and fell asleep immediately.

It wouldn't hurt to sleep for a while...

You woke up a couple of hours later.

You woke up silently crying, you had a dream about the day you and your momma and grandpa went to a theme park.

You couldn't remember much about the dream, only that you had so much fun.

You don't know why you're crying, you had a great time, did you not?

You didn't understand. This shouldn't be happening.

To calm yourself down, you started humming the lullaby your momma sang to you.

It worked slightly.

You decided to get up and eat, you were hungry and hadn't eaten earlier.

You went downstairs and saw a boy no older than 15 eating a bowl of cereal.

You hadn't met him yet, so you tried to introduce yourself to him!"HELLO! My name is Y/n l/n!!!!! What's your name??"

Unfortunately for you, you caught him at a bad time. He had been working on a case since 7:30 am and this was his break.

"Leave me alone," he said, in a obviously tired tone.

Well, obvious to everyone but you.

You continued asking him questions, only for him to ignore you, grab the bowl of cereal, and walk away to his room.

You looked at him with a confused look on your face.

Your stomach rumbled a bit before you snapped out of it and grabbed yourself a bowl of cereal too.

You ate alone at the table.

The next day while outside in the garden, you saw a boy playing with a dog.

The dog looked so cute! You decided to talk to the boy.

"HELLO!! Im y/n l/n!! it's nice to meet you!!"

You started asking him a lot of questions, like what his name was, what the dog's name was, are you guys were siblings, and more!!

The excitement you had to meet others was overwhelming to some people.

He ended up getting the dog to chase you away.

You ran to your room and stayed there the entire day.

You wanna go home.

You ended up finding out their names at one point or another.

The 23-year-old one was Richard "Dick" Grayson, the 18-year-old one was Jason Todd, the one that shooed you away while eating cereal was Timothy "Tim" Drake, and the boy who got his dog to chase you was Damian Wayne.

You don't understand why they didn't want you, you weren't mean or evil like those villains you saw in the books momma read you, so why did they not want you?

You tried getting into hobbies you didn't care about so you guys could talk about them.

You joined a book club, which you kind of disliked since it was so quiet.

You joined gymnastics, which you were good at and kind of enjoyed, it did help you get your energy out, though!

You tried coding, which you didn't like at all.

You tried art, which you were okay at.

Nothing really stuck!

And it's not like it helped with getting your family to notice you.

It didn't matter to them, they had Gotham to help.

You didn't have actual hobbies or interests for a while.

Not until you were 12.

You had signed up for theater in middle school, and the teacher was nice enough to take you all on a field trip to a play.

It changed your life.

You knew immediately that that's what you wanted to do.

You wanted to spread smiles, just like how this play had spread joy to you and others.

You wanted to perform on stage for others!

You knew this was what you wanted!

As soon as you got home you asked Alfred if for your birthday you could have a stage.

One that was going to be demolished soon due to not bringing in any money.

He decided to think about it.

It was a strange request coming from you.

You never really asked for things like this.

You never really asked for non-neccesities at all!

But he decided to not think about it too hard.

feeding my like 2 emu!reader enjoyers lmfao

oml this took so long

guys lowk im so tired

anyways this is ass

taglist:

@shirp-collector-of-fixations @maybeethan69 @iluvcatzz @tacendxx @ninihrtss

[miedei]

sick day

roommate!spencer is sick (and lovely)

a/n: wrote this in a fugue state i think, just couldn't get the thought of being spencer's roommate out of my head

cw: best friends who definitely don't love each other noooo why would you say that, spencer is sick and annoying but also the best

wc: 2k

mlist

(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )

Living with Spencer Reid is usually wonderful. He’s relatively neat, but messy enough that you don’t have to walk on eggshells around him. He’s always willing to recommend you a new read, he doesn’t judge you when you spend an entire day slumped on the couch, and is always up to help you stress bake. 

It’s decidedly wonderful, until it’s not. A week into your living together, you’d realised what a workaholic he was. After the first time you’d caught him asleep on top of paperwork in the living room, you’d understood how much of a pain Spencer Reid really can be. 

Unfortunately, today is one of those days. Spencer returned from a case last night, and the moment you’d seen the slump in his shoulders, you knew you were going to have to work from home today. 

“You really don’t have to stay home. I don’t even have to stay home! I’m seriously not sick, I swear!” His voice is low, as if attempting to mask the rasp in it. It doesn’t work.

His rambling doesn’t cease, not the entire time you steer him away from the front door and into the living room. 

“Yeah? Spence, do you even remember the last time you got sick? I came home to find you lying on the dining table! I’m not going to leave and come back to you trying to climb out of the window or something.” You deadpan, watching him cross his arm and grumble something about ‘elevating the upper body’, and ‘actually very good for the immune system’. 

Having shoved him not-too-lightly onto the couch, you stand with your arms crossed, eyes narrowed on him.

“I can’t believe you were going to go to work! Living with you is like living with a child sometimes, god. You know you would have been sent home straight away, look at you.” You gesture wildly at him. 

He’s a pathetic sight, curled up on the couch looking distinctly sorry for himself. His hair is limp, flat against his scalp, his weak limbs shoved haphazardly in a button down and slacks. He hasn’t even knotted his tie, leaving it hanging loosely around his neck. 

Grabbing his phone out of his bag, you thrust it towards him. 

“Call your boss and tell him you need a sick day. You said it yourself, it’s just paperwork today, right? You can take a day off once in a while, Spence, it won’t kill you.” Once finished, you stomp out of the room, heading to his bedroom to grab him some clothes. Surveying his closet, you grab one of his Caltech hoodies and a pair of sweatpants, grinning to yourself when you hear his hoarse voice on the phone. 

As you walk back into the living room, he’s settled in, clearly resigned to his fate. 

“Yeah, Hotch, I need the day off. I’m sorry, I’m just- Oh. It’s okay? You’re sure? Um, okay. Thanks Hotch.” He hangs up, his eyebrows pinched as if he’s loath to admit you were right. 

You can’t help it, snickering as you dump the sweats and hoodie on his chest. 

“I told you so.”

“You’re so mean to me.” 

It’s nice, spending a day with Spencer like this, even with how whiny he is. Sitting at the desk in the living room, you’re not being incredibly productive, but Spencer’s fever-induced rambles more than make up for it. 

“So, some moron made a blog called ‘What Would Carl Sagan Do?’, and Garcia - remember her, my coworker? She showed it to me, and oh my god, it’s so ridiculous! I mean, to start, all the entries were lifted from different sci-fi movies and books, and they were all so inaccurate, like, ‘The Martian Chronicles’ were good, but it’s been debunked so many times! Carl Sagan debunked it!”

He’s laying on his back on the couch, slender fingers waving in the air above him, eyes lidded as he speaks animatedly. 

“Yeah? What was wrong about it?” You rise from the desk chair, heading into the kitchen. “Also, do you want tea?”

His voice softens, speaking slower as he answers your question. “Yeah, that black tea you brought home last week, please.”

You can hear the moment he slips back into his rant, words growing more and more spirited as he continues to rail against whatever that blog was. Puttering around the cramped kitchen, you let his words roll over you, balancing two mugs and a plate in your hands. 

He doesn’t stop speaking, but flashes you a grateful smile as he takes a mug from you, swiping a cookie from the plate before delving back into the topic at hand.

“So, Bradbury, and a lot of the other sci-fi writers of the time, believed that colonisation of Mars would be possible within the 20th century. And then, in 1960, Carl Sagan, along with a bunch of other astronomers, discovered that Mars doesn’t have an atmosphere, so humans living there long term is virtually impossible without a huge improvement in technology, which probably won't happen until the latter half of the 21st century. And this moron with a blog is pretending like Sagan wouldn’t care, and that he would advocate for irresponsible space travel and I hate him.” 

He finishes with a huff, taking a large gulp of tea and sitting up against the couch. His eyes are hazy with exhaustion, eyelids drooping as he looks at you. You can’t help but giggle. He looks adorably dishevelled, and his eyebrows pinching together at your laughter only intensifies it.

“What? Why are you laughing?”

“I’m- I’m sorry Spence, you just look really cute right now, like you’re going to fall asleep.” You can barely get it out, body shaking with mirth. His eyebrows furrow further, a slight pout forming on his lips. 

His attempts to get you to stop laughing go unanswered, and he huffs once more, crossing his arms and settling against the couch cushions. 

It’s the late afternoon when a knock on the door stirs you from your reverie. Spencer is sitting next to you, your legs slung over his lap as he leans back, eyes trained on The Fellowship of the Ring on the television as his hands tap out something on your calves. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” He shakes his head no, not averting his gaze from the screen. 

You sigh, jostling his shoulder. 

“Spence. Spence, can you go get the door? It’s probably a salesman or something.” 

He hums, shaking his head once more. 

“Can’t. Too sick.”

You groan, tipping your head back in frustration before hauling yourself off the couch, flicking his shoulder as you walk past.

“You’re infuriating, you know that?” His only response is a grin, before he turns back to the movie. 

Grumbling under your breath, you trudge through the room to the front door, frowning when you look through the peephole to see two figures. 

One is shorter than the other, a woman wearing a hot pink and orange dress that should be garish, but looks completely natural on her. The man next to her is grinning, holding several plastic bags in one hand, the other arm linked with the woman’s. 

Not salesmen. 

Concluding that they’re probably not a threat, you swing the door open, causing their heads to pop up. 

“Hey, Reid- Oh.” The man speaks immediately, but pauses when he sees you. 

“You’re not Reid.” The woman concludes. 

You tilt your head to the side, confused. 

“Yeah, I’m not. Um, how do you know Spencer?” 

They share a confused look.

“We’re his coworkers. Derek and Penelope. Sorry, who are you? Do we have the wrong apartment?” 

You brighten, recognising the names from Spencer’s many stories about work. 

“Oh, that’s who you are! No, you’ve got the right apartment, of course. Come in.” You turn to the side, allowing them to walk in, although their expressions remain bewildered. “I’m Spence’s roommate, Y/N. He’s in the living room.”

“Roommate?” Derek exclaims before setting his sights on Spencer, striding over to him. 

“Hey, pretty boy.” Spencer jolts, the haze of sickness having made sure that he didn’t notice them till now. His voice is higher than normal, squeaky. 

“Morgan! What are you- Garcia? Why- why are you here?” Penelope smiles mischievously, plopping down on the couch next to Spencer. 

“Well, we obviously wanted to check up on you, Boy Wonder. This is the first sick day you’ve taken in the last two years - don’t try to lie to me, I checked - and now, we’re very interested in your friend here.” Her smile loses its teasing edge when she turns to you. 

A grin spreads over your face, recognising the same teasing affection you feel towards him in the two newcomers. Retaking your seat on Spencer’s other side, you pull your feet up on the couch, tucking them under Spencer’s thigh. 

Penelope squeaks quietly, but averts her gaze when you look up at her questioningly. 

“So, you guys have worked with Spence for a while, huh?”

Derek sits in the armchair across from you, chuckling under his breath.

“Since he was 22. Back when he straightened his hair and wore those sweater vests that were three sizes too big.” Spencer lets out a strangled noise of protest next to you, but you both ignore him in favour of continuing your conversation. 

“Seriously? I’ve seen one photo of him back then, but then he started hiding them all from me. You got any?” 

Penelope perks up, pulling out a tablet from her work bag. 

“Yes! Oh my goodness, sweetheart, I have so many. Did you know, he used to do this thing where he would gel his hair back, said it made him look older but it was honestly just really cute, hold on…”

She shifts and moves to sit on your other side, huddling over the tablet with you and Derek. 

Spencer is suddenly left in the lurch, stuck observing the three of you from the other end of the couch. He feels like he should be irritated, angry even, but he can’t do anything but watch, eyes softening. 

“Oh my god, Spencer, you were so cute, what happened?” Never mind, he’s feeling a bit irritated now.

It’s not endearing, no. No matter how lovely you look, your face flushed with excitement. No matter how easily you fit in with some of his favourite people in the world.

It’s not captivating, not at all.

[ohgodthevoices]

going crazy over how husband material osamu is, hear me ouuutttt

tags : fluff, time-skip, f!reader, tattoo , he listens to, he cares , and he cook , i’m thirsting m sorry

osamu would be the type of bestfriend that knows damn well you want him bad but keeps on teasing you and acting clueless just to see how far you can go before you crack

as childhood friends, it was normal for you to be touchy and generally comfortable with each other but it raised his suspicions when you now looked away when he was topless around you. it’s not like you were uncomfortable with it ?

you’ve basically lived your whole life with the miyas, you’ve seen osamu wet the bed as a kid, get rejected by his middle school crush you’ve even witnessed him putting his hand in his pants and scratch his butt, seeing him topless in the comfort of his apartment was a casual thing so why the hell would you look away , did he lose his shape ? no, he still worked out frequently even if he’s not an athlete anymore…

either way osamu always took care for you, he was always so careful when it comes to you , sure he’d playfully hit you here and there but it was nothing you couldn’t handle

just imagine him cooking you a nice heart-warming meal, glancing at you every now and then while you’re sitting on the counter looking like a mess after a long exhausting day , wine glass in hand and rambling your worries away. it really became a ritual for you to swing by his place unannounced after a bad day.

he’d open the door with his signature lazy smile “ya had a bad day?” you finally let you shoulders relax “long story..” he steps back, inviting you in “i got time”.

sometimes osamu gets this weird feeling he can’t explain when he realizes he’s seen you grow into a real woman, it really freaked him tf out when you told him you had your first time with some boy he never heard the name of.

he scolds you after a bad decision for sure , but he’s always there to comfort you right after. SO imagine his surprise when during a drunken confession after you finally listened to him and dumped your toxic bf, you admit to him between sobs that broke his heart into pieces

“why can’t i find a guy that actually likes me—?” your face was buried in his now wet tshirt , his strong arms holding you tight as if they were gonna protect you from feeling hurt, your words were muffled, melting together “why can’t i find someone like you samu…im so jealous of the girl that’s gonna be yours” holy fucking shit how was he so blind to never realize this…

thank god that night was complete blurry in your mind , so when you woke up the day completely hung over and found your beloved best friend making you breakfast with a bed hair and his sleeves rolled up showing off his forearms that you find really hot for some reason , your slight blush was explained.

omfg the day he showed up to your workplace during his break with a well crafted lunch box he made full of delicious onigiris because he listens and he remembers that your annoying coworker kept flaunting her relationship to you and it pissed you off and you wanted to show her that you can pull too

ever since he realized the power he had over you, he wouldn’t stop just picking at you and seeing how far he can go, he was basically testing the waters by stretching until his shirt lifts up, hold eye contact for a lil longer than what he should, and how he praises you don’t get me startedddd

“yer actually pretty decent at this” when you cook dinner with him, “look at ya bein all confident and independent !” when you actually tell the waiter they got your order wrong, “yer pretty distractin’ yk that? that’s kinda dangerous.”

osamu was a pretty touchy guy, not overly cuddly or anything but he did enjoy proximity, he’d usually hold your wrist when passing crowds but for some reason he now held your waist, his touch gentle yet firm on you. istg his hand placement is impeccable

there’s just something about him keeping a hair tie on his wrist for you that’s so endearing, so caring and attentive to your lil daily struggles.

it all happened when you got your first tattoo, he had sent you to his friend whom he deemed good enough to ink your body. he was nervous and excited as if he was the one getting tattooed but that’s mostly because you wanted to keep it a mystery, he knew that when he came home after closing the shop he’d find you there already.

there was just something so intimate about him coming back from work and finding you already at his place , he liked it, he could get use to it.

“ ‘m here !” he yelled out closing the door behind him , analyzing you from head to toe as you pop infront of him with his tshirt and shorts on displaying an almost mischievous smile, his eyebrows creasing as he doesn’t see any trace of a tattoo on your arms or legs, maybe it was on your shoulders?

he plopped down on his couch , man spreading “soo… are ya gonna show me or ?” you happily turn to the side, his eyes widen as you lift up the shirt enough to reveal a sideboob tattoo. he sits up the shock visible on his face “holy shit cmere” you obey him , getting closer for him to get a better look. with a swift motion his arm was now around your hip , pushing you to sit on one of his legs

he clearly recognized his friend’s intricate style, the design cupping the side of your boob, he wanted to admire his work but damn he felt a lil jealous that he worked so close to you. he finally looked at you only now noticing your reddish face

his face was just inches from yours, his previously shocked expression fading as he met your eyes. he leaned in slightly, his breath warm against your jaw, and for a split second, everything around you felt quiet, just the two of you in that small space. he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, though, breaking the tension as he nudged you lightly

“didn’t know you had it in ya to do somethin’ like that” he whispered.

before you could answer, his hand found its way to the back of your neck, gently pulling you in. his lips brushed yours, just a soft, teasing touch, before pulling back slightly with that same smirk. “couldn’t resist,” he muttered under his breath, and this time, when he kissed you again, it was longer, deeper—no more teasing, just the feeling of the moment taking over.

i’m currently such a sucker for time skip osamu he’s all i’m thinking about

[bananayuyu]

just friends (2) - back to the beginning

pairing: san x f reader

genre: smut, angst, a bit of fluff

word count: 12.6k

summary: could you really call this a friendship anymore? what was it really, when you spent nights curled up in the sheets with him, days fighting till your blood ran cold? this was more than anything you'd had with anyone; but what it was, you didn't know. you'd fight to keep it alive, for it held you together; but how much more of this could San take before he breaks?

warnings: MDNI, smut, vaginal sex, cream pie, oral, cum eating

a/n: i have become completely obsessed with these two. I've mapped out 10 parts for this series (help me), please let me know if you'd like to be tagged for the rest <33 new parts won't be coming out on any certain schedule as I have many other writing projects I'm working on, but I will for sure finish his series within the year. I'm too obsessed not to. also the argument at the end of this part is pretty nasty so please proceed with caution <3

<- previous part | next part -> | series masterlist | read it on ao3

One Year Ago

"Titi, it's 4:15, get your ass up!" you called from her desk, squinting at your eyes in the mirror as you put the finishing touches on your dark, heavy face of makeup.

"I know, sorry," she grumbled from her bed, slowly pushing off her comforter. "Winter makes me so sleepy," she yawned, stretching as long as she couch reach, her feet falling off the side of her mattress.

"You just love being late, I think," you joked, slapping closed the lid of your highlighter, putting the brush you used back into the drawer it came from.

"You'd think I do, with how often I am," she laughed, another yawn escaping her lips, her palms rubbing circles over her eyes.

"I'm leaving without you if you're running late, just so you know," you responded, stepping up off her desk chair and over to your trusty bag, double checking you had your costume for tonight, your phone, your keys, wallet, and makeup bag.

"I'm coming, just give me a second," she muttered, pushing herself up dramatically, a deep sigh wracking through her. "I didn't get to sleep till like ten in the morning."

"What were y'all doing?" you asked, chuckling, zipping closed your bag with a satisfying sound, everything packed just right for the day ahead.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she laughed, waggling her eyebrows at you.

"You're a couple of fucking rabbits, you two," you shot back, staring at the disheveled state of your best friend. She tipped her head back, laughing hard, that bright full smile showing across her beautiful face. She'd been smiling a lot like that lately, ever since her and her girlfriend had made things official, ever since they'd decided to move in together.

"I'm sorry, I won't talk about it so much if it's annoying," she said, finally standing herself up and shlepping off her pajamas.

"Don't stop, it's very adorable," you responded. "Why would it be annoying?"

"Just cause, you know, your last situation was such a disappointment. I don't want it to feel like I'm rubbing it in," she said, grabbing for a pair of black leggings and pink sweater in the pile of clothes on the floor.

"My last, what, three situations, actually?" you said, trying to remember each of the ridiculous members of the cast of dates you'd been on last year.

"Dating sucks," she said, pulling her leggings on, stumbling a bit.

"Not for you, it doesn't," you responded, crossing your arms.

"Well, not now, but it did for my whole life up until this point," she said.

"Ah, turned twenty-two and now you have it figured out?" you joked, rolling your eyes.

"Hey, don't get snippy with me missy," she pouted, pulling the sweater over her head.

"Sorry, you know I just like arguing for no reason," you sighed, chuckling a bit.

"I need to find you someone who likes it just as much as you do," she joked back, grabbing her phone off it's charger.

"But who's not actually an asshole?" you said.

"Yeah, exactly," she laughed, shooting off a quick text. "Shit, 4:20," she said, stuffing her phone into her own huge bag, not bothering to check it's contents like you just did.

"Okay, we're going now," you said, walking out into her living room, heading straight for the front door.

"Wait, just let me make a cup of coffee!" she called to you, stumbling behind.

"They have coffee where we work, you know," you remarked, looking back at her over your shoulder.

"Oh my god, you love saying shit like that," she rolled her eyes, following close behind you.

"I'm not wrong," you said as you opened the front door, stepping out into the hall.

"I just wanted my pretty mug," she sighed, stepping out after you.

"Then go grab it," you said, holding the door open.

"I can do that? Make coffee into a mug I've brought in?" she asked.

"I don't see why not," you responded, shrugging your shoulders.

"Okay, if I get in trouble I'm blaming you," she said, running back in to grab her favorite mug from the cabinet above the sink.

"Fine, fine," you shook your head, closing the door once she'd come out again.

As soon as you exited the building you realized you'd worn too much; it might be January still, but it was hardly cold at all, this dense desert city holding all the heat the rest of the world must be craving.

"Can we slow down?" Tina asked from beside you, your shoulders bumping as you stepped around a huge group standing on the sidewalk outside of an Italian restaurant, chatter filling the air.

"I don't wanna be late," you answered, keeping your pace as it was.

"Dude, you're so wound up," she said, snaking her hand through your upper arm, genuinely worried you'll start sprinting off if she didn't ground you somehow.

"Sorry, I know," you said, linking your arm around her's. "I'm good, I swear. Just stressed about my manuscript submission," you said, flashing her a wary smile.

"They said they'd get back to you by next week, right?" she asked, gently pulling on you to help you avoid a dark spot of something sticky on the sidewalk.

"Yeah, next week," you sighed, letting out a disgruntled noise.

"Okay, so, you just gotta wait. You did all that work last year finishing that play, you should let yourself have some fun for a few weeks. We should all go out after work today, we haven't done that in forever," she said, the two of you snaking around a line of people standing outside the old movie theater that sat just a block from your place of work.

"Doesn't Maya work Sunday mornings?" you asked, pulling up at the corner to wait for the light to change.

"Usually, but not this week. She's on a later shift today so they gave her tomorrow off," she answered you, eyes darting around at the cacophony of sounds streaming through the streets from every direction.

"Oh, that's nice," you said, and Tina started laughing, squeezing onto your arm. "Shit sorry, did that sound sarcastic?"

"It's so funny when your tone goes all flat like that," she said beside you, a genuine smile on her face. "Seriously though, there probably won't be a Saturday night where she can come out with us for a very long time. We should do it. Maybe we can even convince Sasha and Bibi to come too."

"I'll think about it," you said as the light changed, the two of you stepping down onto the asphalt in front of you. A car honked loudly from your left, wanting to turn down the street you were walking across, and you both shot the driver identical looks of confusion over your shoulders. Only another minute and you were pushing through the side door of the bar, stepping right into the back of the kitchen and waving hi to the cooks on the line. The hallway to the dressing room was already uncomfortably hot; your light layers were far too much now, so you stripped them off quickly, shoving everything into your locker and checking your phone. You weren't late, after all. Thankfully, because you were on early tonight, second in the program, and you only had time to change into your costume and warm up a bit before Ilya was calling your name and pushing you down to the left wing of the stage.

It was a fairly normal night, by all accounts. You'd been working at the bar for nearly two years by then, one of the longer standing performers. There was high turnover in the staff, as was typical in a bar, but especially amongst the performers, who'd often find sudden success in movies or TV, or decide that pursuing this was just not for them anymore. Ages varied wildly; your boss Julie was not one to obsess over youth, or any other conventional markers of beauty. All she cared about was talent; she wanted to create the most interesting, jaw dropping, entertaining show this whole city had to offer, and there was no doubt she had succeeded. Every kind of person could be found working here; sometimes servers would take on a performing shift or two, and sometimes the opposite. It wasn't rare for you to be asked to take drinks to a certain table, your costume still on, sometimes staying in character as you placed them down in front of wonder-filled eyes. You all were expected to help each other out; once or twice you'd even been requested in the kitchen or behind the bar, when there'd been one too many sudden call outs.

It was a classy establishment. Doors opened at 4:30, the show promptly starting at 5pm; it ended at midnight sharp, the bar closing only half an hour later. It was the earliest place to close on the block, only open four days a week, Wednesday night through Saturday night. It was a place people went to pregame, to start their evening with a bang, or a place people went to see a great show before heading back home at a reasonable hour. There was a drinks limit; you all could deny a customer another if they were acting unruly, your security team inconspicuous under the dark shadowy light inside, but always watching. The food served was regular bar fare: tacos, wings, pizza, burgers, but it was high quality, so good that some people came frequently just for their favorite menu item. The place was known for its drinks, too, having hoards of non alcohol options that put every other bar's mocktail lists to shame. It was known for its organized and sparkly atmosphere, known as a reliable place to have a good ass night. The patronage was a mixed bag, but the place wasn't cheap; it tended to skew a bit older, a bit more mature. You didn't hate that; it meant the behavior was generally predictable, even if you didn't exactly fit in amongst the crowd cheering you on.

Halfway through the night you plopped down on your stool in the dressing room, scrubbing free the bits of eyeliner that had smudged below your eye during your first two solo performances of the night.

"Hey girl, sorry to bug, do you have any lashes I could borrow?" Sasha came running in, a slightly panicked look on her face.

"I should, let me see what I have," you said, setting your makeup wipe on your bare thigh and zipping open your bag.

"I'm so sorry to ask, but I literally don't have any with me," she sighed, coming to sit beside you. "My right one fell off on stage and I couldn't find it for the life of me. I was trying to look for it without making it obvious," she said, a nervy chuckle escaping her.

"No worries, here, look through there. Take whatever you need," you said, handing her the small box you kept your old and new lashes in.

"Oh darling, you're a lifesaver," she sighed, snapping it open and rifling through, finding the size she needed. She still had some of that newbie air about her, not six weeks into working with you. But already she had established herself as irreplaceable; by then she emceed almost every night she worked, and thank god for that, as none of the rest of you had any talent or desire for it. Julie tended to do it, if no one else was available, but having a beautiful drag queen host the evening, one who also performed in the show, was a much better choice in every way.

"A group of businessmen just walked in and took table four, I'm hoping one of them is interesting in all this," she said, leaning forward to place the replacement lash on her right eyelid.

"I'm sure one will be, Sash, you're fucking gorgeous," you said, wiping the last of the smudged makeup from your face and giggling.

"Oh sweetheart, you flatter me," she drawled, looking over her face in the mirror. "Do you think those straight-" she lifted her hands, making air quotes, "men can tell I'm not a woman in all the typical ways?"

"Girl, I wasn't even sure the first time I saw you. Your makeup skills are unmatched," you said, chuckling at her.

"Oh stop it," she joked, shaking her head at you. "I hope my hosting skills are half as good," she sighed, finally placing the lash on her eye just right and batting her hand in front of her face in a desperate attempt to get the glue to dry quickly.

"Sasha, are you kidding? You put the rest of us to shame. You should have seen me the one night Julie made my try it out," you laughed, tossing your used makeup wipe in the waste basket beside you.

"I'm sure it was just fine, you little genius," she responded, blinking her eye open and closed a few times. "Sorry to cut this short, but I should probably get out there again."

"Go get 'em, girl," you responded, shooting a playful wink her way.

"Thank you again, darling," she said as she walked past, a gentle hand on your shoulder. You squeezed it briefly; "of course," you said. Then her heels were clacking past you, and soon the room filled with noise as nearly every performer on your cast came in to start their makeup, all of you preparing for the big group number of the evening.

You'd discovered the song, randomly, a few months back. The title, Kalyna, and the album art had intrigued you; after your first listen you were imaging the choreography immediately, turning on your phone to record the sudden ideas flooding your brain. You'd never choreographed a number for the bar, but you knew Julie would be open to it if you pitched it correctly. Three weeks later and you were teaching your coworkers the choreography, chaotic short lessons between everyone's normal performances, all of them picking it up lightning quick. It was an instant hit with your audiences, the night it debuted, and had been kept in the rotation longer than most of the other numbers ever were.

That night the air was buzzing in the dressing room; everyone looked sharp and stunning in their body suits, hair slicked back and pulled tight into buns. The makeup was angular; this number was meant to evoke a bit of tension, maybe even some fear in the audience. But it also showed the strength of the team, the strength of community, and the physical strength of each of you. It was your absolute favorite number that winter; you looked forward to it every night you worked, proud to know you'd created something that stuck so fondly in the minds of the people who watched.

As you hit the stage, you saw immediately what Sasha had just mentioned. Table four, which sat just off the right side of the stage, was cramped full of men in suits, every single one sharp and fitted and so obviously expensive. There was every type of man you could imagine at the table; you spotted immediately the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome, Sasha's dream come to life. And when she led the first eight counts towards the front of the stage, you saw his eyes take in everything, her long legs, her face, her deep rich eyes he seemed lost in. You nearly broke character; so rare was is that people in here flirted with the performers, oddly enough, and normally you were very thankful for that. It was all a part of the classy environment your boss had curated, and it meant you felt safe. But you couldn't deny how giddy it made you to see this playing out in front of you, mere feet from where you danced.

You danced the rest of the number focused, determined not to drop your professionalism for too long, the crowd erupting in cheer as you all finished. Clasping hands down the line, you took one giant bow, spinning and running off stage as the number ended.

"Lina needs help y'all!" Ilya called as you ran through the wings, and immediately you headed down the short hallway to the back of the bar, bursting through to find her. Stacked along the bar were multiple trays of drinks; a line was forming, and your head bartender looked the tiniest bit stressed. Sweat dripped form her brow, and she wiped it away quickly with her hand, punching something into the computer before whipping around to take another order.

"Oh, good, please take those out!" she said when she saw you and Tina, pointing to the trays of drinks in front of you. "The beers are for table four, the cocktails table seven!"

In an instant you grabbed the tray in front of you, sliding past Tina as carefully and quickly as possible. This was sometimes your favorite moments of the evening, when in the adrenaline of post-performance you had to run out drinks to an excited table, who'd marvel over your performance and ask you every question they could think of. As you started weaving through the room, several iterations of 'great job!' and 'amazing, just amazing!' were thrown your way, making your smile so wide it nearly stretched off your face. You barely payed attention to the drinks in your hand, only to make sure they didn't spill, as you nodded in thanks to the compliments, smiling at the half-lit faces around you.

It wasn't until you stopped, stood close to the wall to let another server past, that you realized which tray you'd grabbed. Both table four and seven sat on the far side of the room opposite the bar, and in the chaos of the moment you'd just headed this way, not bothering to actually take note. Now, you did; eight beers sat on the tray balanced on your hand, all identical dark ales. You shot a look to your side at Tina's tray, littered with pink and blue and clear cocktails, fun decorations sticking out the top of them all. Your's was meant for table four, for those businessmen Sasha had spotted, the one's you'd just performed mere feet from.

It shouldn't have worried you, but you couldn't help remembering it now. The only time you'd felt uncomfortable at work had been when serving a giant table full of just men, when one of them had said things severely over the line with you, just to make his friends laugh. It'd only ever happened that once, but the feeling was humiliating enough to have stuck with you, your mind whirring a bit as you made you way towards the crowded table. You decided you'd set the tray down by the man eyeing Sasha; maybe you could subtly hint at her interest, though you had no idea what you'd say. But as soon as you entered their proximity and reached between two of them to set down the tray, a man across the table spoke to you.

"I love that song!" he said, and you looked up to find a sweet, bright smile and deep dimples staring back at you.

"Oh, thank you!" you replied, giving him a genuine smile back, your mind immediately put at ease. You started placing the beers around, one in front of each man, careful to avoid the plates of food already littering the table.

"Do you know the significance of the Kalyna plant in Ukraine?" the same man asked, and your head snapped to him, eyes slightly wide.

"Yeah, that's why I chose to make that number," you said before you could think, so shocked that someone here knew anything about the song you'd spent long hours researching months ago.

"You choreographed that?" he asked, his eyes going wide a bit too.

"Oh, yeah," you said, slightly embarrassed that you'd just openly admitted that. It wasn't something you tended to do, when making light chatter with customers. You grabbed the last beer, which was for him, and made your way around the table to set it down in front of him. "It's just such a great song, easy to choreograph to," you added, trying to make yourself sound less conceited, less interested in talking about yourself.

"It is great, haven't heard it in years," he responded, taking the beer from your hand as you moved to set it down.

"You've heard it before?" you asked, genuine shock in your tone. The band was not one very popular here; not a single person you knew had heard of them, and no one in the months you'd been performing it had mentioned knowing anything about the song.

"Yeah, my freshman roommate in college was from Ukraine and he played a lot of their music. He's a drag queen, I would go to his shows a lot. He actually did a routine to that song, too, for a while," he responded, turning in his seat a bit to better face you. By this point the rest of the table had fallen into another conversation; it seemed none of the rest of them had heard of the song before, or cared to learn much about it. Kind of made them seem like shitty friends, to you. But you were thankful for it, because all of the sudden it felt like you and this gorgeous man were all alone, your back against the west wall of the seating area, Sasha's voice booming through the speakers around you.

"Next time he's visiting I'll be sure to take him here, he'd love it," he added, taking a swig of his beer.

"Well we might not be performing that number anymore, depending on when he's coming. Our numbers are put on a rotation, and this one's overstayed it's welcome already. Though it's still quite popular, we might be able to perform it a while longer," you said, words coming easily, the normal walls you kept high when talking to customers nowhere to be found.

"That's too bad, I hope you get to keep it for a while. It's fucking great, you're a real genius," he said, looking up at you again with those perfect dimples.

"Thanks," you said, blushing, the smirk he was sending your way bringing sudden heat to your face. You'd had time now to take him in; his hair was black, short at the sides and longer on top, his suit black to match it. His skin was honey, smooth as can be, and his face was pure perfection, pouty lips and a perfect nose, a strong jaw, strong eyebrows. He was very masculine, but very pretty too, so stunning you couldn't believe your eyes. And his wire framed glasses held his look together perfectly; he looked sharp, smart, and confident. He looked the way you were pretty sure every man wished he looked in a suit.

"I don't usually say stuff like this, but, when are you free tonight? We're all headed to a huge party up in the East Heights after this, if you'd like to come. There's gonna be an open bar, a pool, it's supposed to be pretty crazy," he said, taking another quick sip of his beer, his face pure and calm as he said it.

'I don't usually say stuff like this' my ass, you thought. The words had flown off his tongue too easily for that to be believable. But it was working on you, his confidence. You'd experienced too many instances of vague flirting, of indirectness, of shaky voices and shakier hands. You'd dreamt of a moment like this, when someone saw you and liked what they saw, liked it enough to ask you out then and there with no hesitation.

"Uh, I get off at 12:30, when the bar closes," you answered him, words falling out of your mouth without intention. "I- uh- I'll need to think about it though. I wouldn't be comfortable coming by myself, would I be able to bring some friends?"

"Yeah, bring whoever you'd like. It's a big event, a few extra bodies should be no big deal," he responded, smirk turning to a full on smile. His teeth were perfect, god he was perfect, and you got lost in his face for a few seconds, resting your hip against the wall behind you, your lower lip grasped between your teeth.

"I'm San, by the way," he said, reaching out his free hand in your direction.

"Oh, yeah, I'm y/n," you replied, placing your hand in his. His handshake was strong, hand warm around yours, your fingers nearly disappearing in his palm.

"It's nice to meet you," he said, holding onto your hand for a second longer than needed, gently releasing it and looking you straight in the eyes.

"Nice to meet you too," you said awkwardly, eyes darting around the room. "I should probably get back to work, it was nice chatting with you," you said, finally walking around the table to grab the tray and bring it back to the bar.

"We'll be here till closing, so just let me know then if you'd like to come," he said, nodding in your direction as you started to turn.

"Okay, thanks," you said, smiling over your shoulder, before walking off hurriedly between tables, suddenly worried sick that you'd be in trouble for talking to him for too long.

"Titi, you still wanna go out tonight?" you asked as you rushed back into the locker room, two slices of sweet bread you stole from the kitchen in your hands.

"Yeah, you actually wanna?" she said excitedly, reaching forward to grab one of them from you.

"I just got invited to a party in the Easy Heights," you said, a bewildered look gracing your features.

"Hello? What?" she responded, her mouth open in a comical O.

"I don't even know, but yeah, apparently some big party is happening at a house up there? He said it will have an open bar and pool?" you said, shaking your head in disbelief at the words coming out of you.

"Who said this?" she asked, mouth full as she chowed down.

"He said his name is San, he's in that group at table four," you responded.

"Oh my god, Sasha was just telling me she was making eyes at one of those men," Tina laughed, a hand coming to your shoulder.

"Yeah, I saw that while we were performing Kalyna," you said, giggling too.

"You sure you wanna go to an East Heights party? There's definitely gonna be like coke and shit, probably worse. It might be crazy," she said, head tilting to the side.

"If it's awful we can just leave, but I kinda feel like going. I doubt we'll ever be invited to one of those again," you laughed, giving her an assured smile. "I kind of want to see what tomfoolery those rich assholes get up to."

"So this isn't about hanging out with that man?" she asked.

"He seems cool, but I think he might be gay," you said to her, crossing your arms.

"Um, why?"

"He said his roommate in college was a drag queen, and that he went to his shows a lot. And he talked to me way too confidently to be into me. If he's not gay, then he's definitely not interested," you said, shrugging.

"Babe, he invited you to a party with him, barely knowing you. He definitely finds you attractive," she said, giving you that look she does when she thinks you're being just a bit dumb.

"Okay, but, well-" you cut yourself off, holding your hands out in a gesture of pity. You were dumb when it came to this relationship stuff, downright stupid. You knew that, as frustrating as it was. You wanted to be confident in your suspicion he was into you, but you'd been wrong enough times when you were younger about this sort of thing to assume it now. You'd been made fun of countlessly in high school, person after person laughing at the mere thought that they'd be into you. You were always baffled; you'd been told by some other person that this person had a crush on you, and were only asking them about it because of that information. They were pranks, and it took you embarrassingly long to figure that out. You understood that now, you recognized it had just been childish bullying; but still, even years later, you doubted any instance of even a suggestion that someone found you attractive.

You were different back then; you'd changed so much in the few years you'd lived away from home. But still, you doubted yourself. Maybe you had a complex about being undesirable, but who didn't? And frankly, when you looked around the world, it seemed like more of the "ugly" people had partners than not. It must be more about personality, you reasoned, which made your undesirability all the more painful. A silly, sick side of you began to feel attached to being single, began to feel better than other people for it, even your ride or die perfect friend standing in front of you. You didn't need romantic love like everyone else did, you decided; you had your art to give you passion, your friends to give you companionship. And you could physically satisfy yourself just fine. It was all projection; it was how you coped. How else could you deal with the pain of never being loved, lusted after, wanted the way all of your friends had since puberty?

But even as attached to your single identity as you were, you'd perused the apps last year, a tiny buried part of you wishing and hoping that there was someone out there for you, perfect in every way. It had been a bust, as expected. You felt like a fool for even trying. You had hoped that it would give you at least a little self-esteem, even if no relationship came of it. But it had only driven that painful truth of your undesirable personality deeper into your heart, cracking it further.

"I don't even want a relationship right now, Ti, I've said that for like the past three months," you said, pulling your hands back to your chest. You felt your heart thumping there, trying desperately to come alive despite the year of terror you'd put it through.

"It doesn't have to be a relationship, you could just hook up with him, you know, have a little fun," she answered you, grabbing your hands in hers. "Let's go, let's have some fun. Just relax, spend the evening enjoying ourselves." You hadn't seen her so excited all winter; her moods were severely affected by this season, and it always felt like a part of her left you for the cold months. It made a complex mix of sadness and excitement swirl through you, staring back at her perfect face. There was no way you'd be saying no to her now, despite anything.

"Okay, fine," you sighed, pulling her into a tight hug.

It took little convincing for Sasha and Bibi to join you, and soon the four of you plus Maya were standing on the sidewalk outside, stuck like a barnacle to the side of San's huge group. You were all waiting on two limos, according to him; when he's said this the five of you looked between yourselves with huge wide eyes, grabbing each other's arms and trying desperately not to laugh.

"You realize none of us have ever been to the East Heights, right?" you said to him, the soft arm of his suit jacket brushing up against the exposed skin of your own upper arm.

"That's fine, I've only been once. It's nothing that crazy, the houses are just big," he said, looking down at you, his shoulders intimidatingly broad now that he was standing beside you.

"I thought you said this party is gonna be crazy though," you replied, squinting your eyes playfully.

"Well, it's possible. I don't really know," he responded.

"So you just said that to say it earlier?" you questioned him, head cocked to the side.

"I was trying to make my offer sound enticing," he replied, looking you up and down, that smirk back on his face.

"So you lied to me?" you shot back.

"Hey, like I said, I don't know much about this thing, it could very well be crazy," he responded, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Wow, what have I gotten us into," you said, turning to the group, all of whom were suppressing their laughter at the interaction unfolding in front of them.

"The best night of your life," he answered, nudging your shoulder in a way that almost could have been accidental, making your eyes snap back to his again.

"I hope that wasn't a lie," you said, eyeing him sharply.

"I'll make sure of it," he shot back, one eyebrow raised slightly.

A titter sounded behind you, Tina unable to keep her composure at the ridiculous bickering unfurling between you. Your eyes were locked on each other, faces closer than either of you realized. It was so damn obvious to all of your friends, then, what was about to happen. The two of you couldn't hide it for a second, how affect you were. You were still locked in eye contact when the first limo pulled up, the rest of San's group filing in, waving him goodbye.

"You can go with your friends if you'd like," you said as he closed the door, stepping back.

"Oh they're not really my friends, just guys I know through work. This whole thing tonight is a networking opportunity, what fun," he joked sarcastically, rolling his eyes a bit.

"Oh wow," you said, eyes glued to the limo as it pulled away. "People network at one in the morning?"

"Us tech bros do I guess, we just love it," he said, laughing sarcastically again. "I don't really like this stuff, but my manager is making me go. He gave me Monday off, so, I can't really complain."

"Wow, you have like a normal job," you said, laughing.

"And you don't?" he asked.

"I just mean, you work Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, right?" He nodded. "Yeah, I literally don't know a single other person who does. My mom is a doula, and my twin sister is a nurse, and my dad has early-onset Parkinson's so he's been on disability almost my whole life. And the rest of my friends work here, or work at other bars or restaurants around here. Even my best friend from high school works in a library at her university, but she works weekends and nights."

It all came stumbling out of you so fast, your hand shot up to your mouth.

"Sorry, that was crazy. Just forget all that shit about my dad..." you trailed off, eyes wide with worry as they met his.

"What shit about your dad?" he answered, and your expression immediately changed to one of relief, one of laughter. Just then the second limo pulled up to the curb, and the five of you excitedly gathered by the door, San opening it for you.

"Ladies," he said, bowing his head slightly and beckoning you all to step inside.

"None of us have ever been in a limo either," you told him, chuckling as your friends excitedly squealed while carefully entering the sleek black car.

"Uh, I have, speak for yourself miss thing," Bibi said as she crouched down, shooting you a look over her shoulder.

"Well damn, I guess one of us has," you said to San as you finally stepped inside, his body following quickly after you, rich laughter ringing in your ear.

San, it turned out, was most definitely not gay. Which of course, deep down, you'd already known. You'd known it from the moment he asked you to go to that party with him, from the moment he smirked and your body sizzled under his glare. But he was so different from anyone you'd dated before; too kind, too upfront, too knowledgeable about musicals and theater and all the things you loved so very much. It almost pained you to find out he'd been studying theater in college before switching to computer science. That was why he'd been paired with his freshman roommate; at the time, they'd had the same major. That roommate, Antin, became one of his best friends; the two bonded over coming from overseas, the pressure their parents put on them even thousands of miles away. It was so sweet, so charming, and in the two hours you spent at that raucous party, you learned what seemed like all there was to know about him.

He was too perfect; it was too easy to say yes when he'd asked if you wanted to see his apartment, too easy to bid your friends goodnight as your Uber pulled up in front of their places. You thought of nothing but the hunk beside you, about what he'd look like with that suit strewn on the ground. You tried not to jump his bones the second you were alone, but damn was it hard; as soon as you arrived he'd taken your purse, and placed it in the front closet of his apartment. His apartment was huge, his front closet bigger than the bathroom you shared with three other roommates; it was fancy too, well kept, stacks of books and DVDs in the living room, only two dirty dishes in the bottom of his kitchen sink.

It was all simply too good to be true, and in that moment nothing felt real. You were present, sure, but you felt like you'd been knocked into an alternative timeline, getting to live out the life of someone far better than you, who deserved all this.

"Aren't you hot in that suit?" you asked him, your loose minidress hanging free, your body unburdened with extra fabric. You always kept a few random clothes at work in case you needed to change suddenly, and even though it was the last day of January, this tiny dress had been a great option. Outside you'd thrown a large old flannel of your dad's over it, but at the party you'd tied it around your waist, the mass of bodies creating more heat than you could bear.

"Yeah, I was sweating all night," he laughed, slowly and methodically pulling off his suit jacket, finally revealing the shape of his shoulders to you. Under his white button-up they bulged; you did all you could to stop yourself from just staring, especially as he loosened his tie and finally pulled from his head, setting it down on the small table just inside his front door.

"You can put your shoes in there, if you'd like. Oh and your shirt, here, let me hang it up," he said, reaching for the flannel still tied around your waist. His touch was electric as soon as his hands made contact; even through the material of your dress you felt the spark, your body shivering. It only lasted a second, his nature too respectful to make anything more of a moment like that, especially after what you'd said at the party to him not twenty minutes ago. You wished you could have frozen time, wished every little detail of this night could be burned into your memory forever. It would be hard to believe then that you'd forget a lot of it in just a year, that somehow so much would happen that this one night would come to feel almost insignificant.

"Can I make you some hot cocoa, or tea, coffee?" he asked as he walked towards his kitchen, pouring you both glasses of water.

"Some herbal tea sounds nice, if you have any," you answered, and he opened his pantry to reveal a small collection. You picked out the lavender mix that sounded refreshing, placing the purple tea bag in a black mug he'd set down on the counter. As he set his tea kettle to boil, you hopped up on the counter beside him, bare feet swinging in air.

"So, you think that was the best night of my life?" you quipped, looking sideways at him as he set the kettle to temperature.

"Night's not over," he responded, eyebrows flicking up in amusement.

You were squirming under his gaze, your face now level with his. His shirt and pants fit him immaculately; you were so obviously ogling him, your thighs rubbing together as you did, your eyelids heavy with lust. He could feel it pouring off of you, but he kept replaying what you'd said, and kept trying to keep his composure, because he really wasn't that guy. He wasn't the guy who slept with the girl right away; he had known too many of those guys at college, seen too many of them back home too, when he visited his brother in the fall. He found the hookup culture he was surrounded by almost unnerving. He'd been raised with integrity, with respect; and being here in a new country had challenged his beliefs, for sure, but not when it came to sex or romance.

But you were determined. Your body had a mind of its own, and this whole night had felt surreal for hours now. Your own, already loose morals were thrown out the window, and you didn't give a fuck. You wanted him now, forget whatever the hell you'd said earlier; you didn't even remember it anymore, too filled with arousal to think straight.

You grabbed onto his arm closest to you, pulling him in.

"Hey, I thought you said-"

You cut him off with a kiss, pulling his face towards yours, leaning back slightly to arch into him. It was feverish as your lips met, mouths open, your legs already shaking as you wrapped them around his waist. It didn't take long for his hands to find your hips, your waist; he dug in, feeling the softness of you, softness he wanted to be wrapped in forever. He'd kept his composure the whole way here, not putting a hand on your thigh in the Uber, not a hand on your back as you walked through his front door. But now, it had left him; just five seconds of you in his grasp, and he knew he could never let go. His tongue swiped into your mouth, sucking hard on your lower lip, and without thinking he was reaching under your dress, feeling over the bare expanse of skin.

You hadn't worn a bra or panties tonight. He could tell about the bra, from the way your dress caught on your chest, but the panties were a surprise, making his head fuzzy as he reached down to your ass and found it bare for him. Your hands now were desperately grabbing at his over-shirt, trying in vain to undo each pesky button as you kept kissing him, your hands stumbling and failing over and over. Finally, he reached up and just ripped his shirt open, buttons popping and falling onto the floor in a soft rattle. He flung it off his arms, his tight under shirt leaving nothing anymore to your imagination. His abs rippled underneath it; you'd never seen abs like that in person before, weren't sure that they even existed. Especially not on a man who worked in tech, whose face was prettier than a porcelain doll's.

He came back to you, breathing hard; you grabbed at his abdomen, his shoulders, his chest, desperate to feel all of the perfection in front of you. You could smell the sweat on him now, musky and rich notes hitting your nose and making your body heat even more. He moved his mouth to your neck, your ear, making you whine and squirm with pleasure, sharp sparklers of energy running down the entirety of your body. You were pulling at him, desperately, forgetting any sense of where you were, or what you'd planned for tonight. As he licked a stripe up your collar bone you squealed loudly, the feeling ticklish and pleasurable all the same, and you jerked away from him momentarily, falling into a fit of giggles.

Suddenly there was a crash; the mug next to you was sent flying to the floor by your hip, and now it's pieces spread out across the grey tile, littering it in shards.

"Fuck, sorry," you gasped, your hands flying up to cover your open mouth. You were expecting maybe a light chuckle, maybe a shocked noise, for San to want to clean this up right away before you two got to whatever you were doing; instead he laughed deeply, his bright, wide smile back on his face, dimples staring you in the face for the probably thousandth time that night. He looked down to each side of his feet, sighing ever so slightly, before moving his gaze back up to you, his eyes thoughtful.

"Fuck it," he laughed with a shake of his head, grabbing you again, his hand on the back of your neck, soft lips wrapped around your own. You giggled into his mouth, so overcome by the chaotic set of events; but it only took a moment of his lips on yours again for you to melt, your legs around him, your breathing hot and heavy as he grabbed at your dress, pulling it up at the front to reveal your bare crotch to the room, running two of his fingers down your slit to see how wet you were.

"Fuck, San," you gasped, feeling how easily his slippery fingers moved, his movement unexpected.

"You want this, right?" he asked you, voice husky and deep. His eyes were boring into yours, and his look was dark and intense. It made you shiver to look back at him, and a part of you wanted to look away, to not feel the complex string of emotions tumbling through you. It almost felt like dread; dread laced with beauty, laced with desire and sweetness and everything addictive, and you just couldn't bring the rest of yourself to look away.

"Yes, please," you responded, pushing your hips down onto his hand, grinding onto his fingers. "Please fuck me, San."

You'd never said anything like this in your life; you'd only imagined it, or read it. As cheesy as it could feel on the page, in that moment it felt consumingly empowering, downright sexy. You pulled at his belt in front of you, your mouths meeting again, his teeth scraping over your upper lip as he nearly devoured you. Once again, you struggled with undoing his clothing; he moved his hands away from you to unclasp it himself, pulling it hard and tossing it to the ground when he had. Your hands were around his chin, holding his face to you as you messily kept kissing, his hands now working on the button and zipper of his jeans. In a matter of moments he'd pulled his hard cock out of his pants, and held it in his hand, hungrily eyeing your flushed cunt in front of him.

"Let me get a condom," he huffed, clearly having to work at pulling his eyes away from you.

"No, I have an implant," you said, pointing to your left arm. You saw his eyes twitch to side for a moment, like his brain was struggling to process what you'd just said. "It's fine, I can't get pregnant," you added, in case he didn't know what the hell you were trying to say. It took another few moments for him to accept it; but once he did he moved his cock closer to your aching entrance, and rubbed it along your slit where his fingers had been just seconds ago.

"Fuck," you sighed, head hitting his shoulder as he leaned into you, as he spread your wetness over his tip. Your closed eyes cloaked you in almost darkness, only the soft light in the kitchen illuminating the room, and all you could feel was your throbbing cunt and San's movements, already whimpering and moaning in his ear. He lined himself up carefully, pulling your hips to the very edge of the counter to give him room, and slowly sank halfway down.

"Oh my god," you squeaked, the stretch not at all what you expected. He was far bigger than any man you'd ever been with; it almost hurt, and you'd never experienced this before, so you had no idea if this was a hurt that would subside, or a hurt that would grow and fester. You clung to his shoulders for dear life as he slowly pulled out of you again, thrusting back in just slightly deeper, his movements slow and controlled.

"Ahhh, shit," you whined again, grip on his shoulders even tighter.

"I need you to relax for me," he said in your ear, the vibrations of his voice sending tremors of pleasure through you.

"I'm trying," you squeaked out, face stuck in his neck as you tried to breath slowly.

"Need me to stop?" he asked, stilling his movements completely, holding onto your lower back for support.

"No, please don't stop," you whispered, finally finding some control of your breath. "Just give me a second."

San obliged, kissing the top of your head as he ran a comforting hand down your back. You continued to breathe deep, continued to take in his scent, and in a few short moments you felt the walls of your cunt finally release a bit, allowing you to rock yourself against him without pain.

"Okay, I'm ready," you said, bracing yourself, and a moment later you felt him push himself in further, finally bottoming out. You both let out a guttural groan; it felt like you'd discovered new parts of yourselves in that moment, like your bodies were made for each other, made to pleasure each other just the way you needed.

"Fuck, y/n," San moaned your name, your walls tight around him as he pulled back again, thrusting short and soft at first. Hearing your name roll of his tongue made your chest swell; it was far to intense, all of these emotions you were having, for you to utter a thing. Soon he was thrusting faster, setting a steady pace as he held firm onto your hips, his mouth on your neck leaving bruising bites that you'd have to deal with tomorrow. You were breathing ragged, an eruption of feelings so perfect coming from your core that you couldn't quite believe it.

Then it happened; he picked you up by your hips, holding you dead in the air, still thrusting into you. If anything his thrusts were harder, deeper now; the position had given him space, and he used every bit of it, his thrusts becoming longer, harder, his cock nearly falling out of you when he pulled out. Your moans turned to screams; you were no longer aware at all of what sounds you were making, so overcome with the severe intensity of the feelings in your core.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," you started babbling, breathing desperately, your hands again grasping at his shoulders.

"What?" he asked between grunts, a chuckle following.

"I didn't- fuck- think this was po-ossible," you stuttered, his thrusts not letting up, the feeling so intense it almost was zapping you back into the moment again, reversing the drifting that your mind had started to do. This felt real; felt too real, too intense. You swore you could feel every vein in his shaft, feel the exact shape of his head. Your orgasm was building, fast, and you'd never come just from penetration.

"Now you know, baby," he chuckled again, not letting up. Soon you were clenching hard, the rippling feelings of your climax building to their peak, your legs around his hips, squeezing him.

"Fuck, fuck," you screamed, biting down on the top of his shoulder, shaking hard.

"Did you come?" he asked, still thrusting hard, wanting you to ride it out as much as you could.

"Yes," you almost sobbed, drool dripping down onto his bare skin. "Slow down," you whined, and he did, gradually slowing his movements until he'd stopped, placing a quick kiss on your neck and making you squeal again.

After that, the night was a blur. He took you again, on the couch, and you came so many times you couldn't keep track. He was flipping you around, holding up your legs; he seemed to know every perfect angle to make your cunt feel even better, and you gladly accepted every movement from him. When he finally came he dropped down between your legs, eating you out as his cum dropped out of you, his face a flushed mess when he looked up to take a breath. You came again; finally, you begged him to stop. Your body was spent, you couldn't take anymore. When you looked at your phone it was nearly six in the morning, and when you ventured a look over to his kitchen window you recognized the first signs of winter dawn, the sky not as dark as it had been.

He made you stay put, cleaning you up in a fluffy towel, picking you up to carry you to his bedroom. He helped you out of your dress; then his own clothes came off entirely, and you ogled him all over again, as he scolded you and told you to get some much needed sleep. Wrapped around him your cunt seemed to stay permanently wet; you thought there was no way you'd fall asleep, but it was late, even for you. Soon you were both out cold, San's blackout curtains tricking your bodies. It wasn't until nearly three that afternoon that you woke.

"You stay, I'll go make us some food," San yawned, kissing your forehead, your face smushed in his chest.

"Are you sure?" you pouted, looking up at him. Even with his curtains open the sky outside was dark; what time it was now, you had no idea. After you awoke and showered, the two of you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. Another slew of hours had flown by, and your pussy was aching, begging you to give her a break. You couldn't help how fucking good it felt, though. You wanted it to never end. You were sure you could be satisfied with your life if all you ever did from now on was fuck him.

"Oh god, don't give me that look," he groaned, turning his head away. You laughed, tugging yourself on top of him, wrapping your arms and legs around his torso. "I thought you said you were hungry," he said, arms around you too.

"I am," you answered, snuggling into him.

"Well I can't make you food if you're laying on top of me," he responded, squeezing the tops of your thighs.

"I think you're definitely strong enough to carry me around," you said, giggling.

"Oh, is that what you want? You done with walking?" he joked, pinching your thigh.

"Ah, hey!" you squealed, jerking off of him, trying to reach for his ribs to tickle him in retaliation. But just then your stomach rumbled, so loud you both could hear.

"Come on, let me make food. What do you want?" he asked, sitting himself up.

"Do you have eggs?" you said, and he nodded. "Can you make just some toast and scrambled eggs?"

"Of course, anything else?" he responded, standing up off the bed. The naked form of him in front of you was so distracting, especially in the hazy light coming in from outside, the evening street lights shining in through San's huge window. You took a mental screenshot; no one else could ever look this good, you thought, in such low light. It accentuated every nook and cranny of his body; he was so perfectly built, every little part. It was hard not to stare at the curve of his ass as he threw on some sweats, or the muscles of his back as he stretched his arms.

"No, I just have that for breakfast every day. I like simple food," you said, yawning again and sitting yourself up.

"Me too," he smiled, looking back at you for a moment before exiting the room, clinks sounding from the kitchen as he started preparing.

It took you some time to finally get yourself up; your body was wracked with exhaustion, but you'd never felt better. You felt on a permanent high around him; you grabbed your crumpled dress from the floor and slipped it over yourself, finally walking out to the living room to check your phone, which was probably dead. As you came out you saw San on the floor cleaning, the remnants of that poor mug swept into a pile at the corner of his kitchen.

"Oh shit, let me help you with that," you said, making your way over, but San stopped you.

"No, don't walk over here, you'll cut your feet. I'll take care of it, it's no biggie." You stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, but already this dynamic felt comfortable. If he really was fine with it, then you were fine letting him deal with the mess you'd made. You turned on your heel and walked over the couch, grabbing your phone off the coffee table, checking the time.

|6:14 pm|

You saw a slew of texts, but your battery was at ten percent, so you ran to your purse to grab your charging cable, plugging it in.

{Titi}

|3:43pm| how was your night bestie?? |5:58pm| please tell me you didn't get kidnapped |6:14pm| fuck sorry, I hadn't looked at my phone till now |6:14pm| I am alive and well

|6:15pm| oh thank god, we were worried |6:15pm| nothing to be worried about 😌 |6:16pm| so how'd it go?? |6:16pm| girl, we fucked for like three hours last night 😭 |6:16pm| HELLO |6:16pm| are you okay??? 😭 |6:17pm| Maya just said you're putting us lesbians to shame 💀 |6:17pm| 💀💀 |6:17pm| we fucked for like three hours this morning too |6:17pm| GIRL |6:17pm| RIP to your vagina |6:18pm| she's never been happier 😭

|6:18pm| this is so crazy |6:18pm| you home now? |6:18pm| I KNOW |6:18pm| no I'm still here, he's making some food for us

|6:18pm| wow |6:18pm| just wow, idk what else to say 😭 |6:19pm| girl same |6:19pm| you busy tomorrow? |6:19pm| no, why? |6:19pm| I'll bring over some dinner at seven, I have so much to tell you |6:19pm| I can't wait 💕

Present

It was nearly noon, when you woke. Slowly your consciousness came back to you; at first you only felt the warmth of the sheets beneath you, and you knew for sure you weren't in your bed, nor on your friend's couch like you'd planned. You were in the place you'd ended up so many times this month; maybe close to twenty of the nights of January you'd spent here. Thinking of it pulled at you. You knew this was a mistake, ending up here, knew something terrible would come of this. But you hadn't had the will this morning to stop it. You woke grumpy, worried, with the events of the morning spiraling through your head, especially Tina's flushed face of agony and the guttural sounds she made as she threw up.

You were worried, as much as she told you not to be. You'd never seen her like this in the five years you'd known her. As soon as your eyes melted open you were reaching for your phone on the night stand, finding it plugged in to San's charger, a glass of water there too.

You shot off a quick text to your group chat with Tina and Maya. How are y'all feeling? You didn't want to smother them with your worry, so you kept it as casual as you could, sipping at the water beside you and scrolling mindlessly through the other notifications littering your screen. There would be no convincing Tina to go get checked out; you had to accept it, had to welcome the fact that it'd be you and Maya keeping her well. She mistrusted doctors, on top of the unneeded expense, and you completely understood why; with the experiences she'd had, there would be no reason to give them a second chance. But she'd always had a stomach of steel; to see her so unwell was unnerving you, tremendously.

Finally you pushed yourself up; your stomach was rumbling, your head still aching with exhaustion, but the feeling was duller than this morning. The sleep you'd just woken from had been helpful, no doubt, but you wished you felt a little more normal today, instead of sleep deprived and emotionally unsteady. You had important work to do; you needed to head home fast, needed to not get distracted by San like you always did. You couldn't afford to spend the rest of the afternoon here eating and watching a musical, forcing him to recreate it with you. You had a musical of your own to edit.

"Hey," he said when you poked your head out of his room, walking gingerly over to him in the kitchen. He was preparing some lunch for himself; a block of tofu lay resting on the counter, as San chopped peppers and onions and broccoli. The smells of ginger and garlic already wafted from the pan, and San stood shirtless, in just grey sweat pants as he cooked, looking like someone out of any person's dreams.

"Hey," you responded, sighing. His body was alight with energy; he must have hit the gym while you were sleeping, which always left him feeling perky and bright. It was wafting off of him, this positive energy, and it couldn't have conflicted more with the heavy stress coursing through you. It was abundant in your tone; you'd gotten less and less good at hiding it from him, how you felt. Especially this last month.

"You want some breakfast?" he asked you, tossing the onions and peppers into his pan before stirring them with a spatula.

"I can make it," you mumbled, crossing past him to the refrigerator and grabbing the carton of eggs from the bottom shelf.

"Let me do it, I know you're exhausted," he said, coming over to you to grab the carton from your hands.

"No, I want to," you sighed, holding it to your side and out of his reach, a grumpy frown on your face.

"Okay, if you insist," he responded, palms up. Your terrible mood was worrying him deeply, but he was trying to convince himself that everything was fine, that this afternoon was in fact the time to finally do it. He'd been at the gym almost two hours, pumping himself up, doing every exercise he could think of to distract himself from the dread that was slowly filling him. It was like sand in an hour glass, falling slowly enough that he could forget it if he tried. Which he'd successfully done all morning, until your tired form appeared from his bedroom door.

You started preparing your food in silence, the sizzling of San's stir fry and clinking of dishes the only sounds in the room. You were thankful you'd be leaving him in a good mood; it was always hard to leave when he was sad, or grumpy, because every single part of you needed to make him feel better, needed a happy look on his face for you to feel okay. There was no doubt he was meal prepping for the week, given the amount of food he was making, and you sighed in hoping that the future days were on his mind now, instead of the past few.

"I realized something this morning," he said out of nowhere, tossing in his chopped tofu. Your eggs had just finished, so you turned off the burner, plopped them onto your plate, and grabbed your two slices of bread from the toaster, carefully spreading on the perfect amount of butter.

"What's that?" you asked, mind still elsewhere, running in circles and figure eights.

"We met exactly one year ago, today," he said, voice bright and breathy.

"Oh shit, really?" you asked, grabbing a fork from the cutlery drawer, then shoving a piece of toast in your mouth.

"Yeah, don't you remember?" he responded, voice lilting a bit. You mindlessly stuffed some eggs in your mouth, savoring the flavor of the local organic eggs that San always had in stock.

"Yeah, I just didn't realize it was that da-" you cut yourself off when you saw his face, his eyes glassy and jaw set. "Sannie, oh my god, don't cry. I'm not that special," you said, almost scoffing at the emotion coming off of him.

"Yes you are," he said, turning back to the pan on the stove, wiping something that must have been a tear off his cheek with the back of his hand.

"I'm really not," you responded, walking back towards his bedroom to find your phone again, which you'd accidentally left behind. Inside his room you could hear him speak from the kitchen, but you couldn't make out the words. You were distracted by the text you'd received from Maya, i'm doing even better, but Titi is still pretty bad. the Tylenol and everything has been so helpful though. and whatever those anti-nausea meds were, please thank San for me. she's able to keep down fluids now.

I'm glad to hear that. I hope she keeps getting better. She looked awful this morning, you responded, typing it out with your right thumb as your left hand balanced your plate of food.

"You gonna eat in here?" San asked from the doorway, and you snapped your head around to meet his gaze.

"No, sorry, just checking my phone. I had texted Maya asking how they were doing," you responded, mouth in a tight line.

"How's Tina?" he asked.

"Fine, it sounds like. Maya said to thank you for all the stuff you got them," you said.

"It's no biggie. I'm glad it's helping," he said, eyes blinking and face neutral. No biggie, the words made you want to roll your eyes. It was always 'no big deal' to him to do so much, and you'd started to realize that those words were total fucking bullshit. 'No biggie' was seemingly just a favorite English phrase of his, one that made him sound selfless and kind in the way he wanted to be. But you could see the flash of irritation in his eyes, you knew damn well that he was upset that you'd called this morning and made him feel obligated to come and help. He'd wanted your thanks for doing so, which you could recognize was fair. But he also should have said no, if he really didn't want to do it. You couldn't help the fact that he'd been lax with you since the start; one year now, as he'd just reminded you, of you pushing his boundaries and him relenting, and somehow he was still frustrated every time it happened. Like he didn't realize this was just how things were.

You waited till he turned around to point your eyes to the ceiling, a long deep sigh matching the movements of your eyes. You just had to eat and get out of here, one simple task. Then you could be home and worrying about the work ahead of you, or you could be on the phone to Tina and checking on her. You couldn't wait for the relief of hearing her voice.

"Did you hear what I said earlier?" San asked as you walked out of his room, sitting yourself down on his couch to finish your food.

"I don't know, what did you say?" you asked, placing your phone face down next to you.

"I asked if you remembered what you said to me that night we met, right before we came here?" he said, his own bowl of food in hand as he sat down a few feet from you.

"I don't think I do," you responded, sighing as you took another huge bite.

"Really?" he asked you, an eyebrow raised.

"Yes really, San, was it something I should remember?" you asked.

"It's just kind of funny, given what happened next," he said, taking a bite of his stir fry. You gave him a confused look, head cocking to the side. "You said, 'sure I'll come to your apartment, but I'm not fucking you'," he said, chuckling.

"I did not," you scoffed, shaking your head at the thought of it.

"You did, I swear," he continued, eyeing you. "Kind of crazy considering that's exactly what you did for the next forty-eight hours."

"Oh my god, shut up," you rolled your eyes, grabbing the throw pillow to your right and smacking his arm with it. He laughed and batted it away, careful to protect his food as you swung it recklessly. "Also, you say that as if I'm the only one involved in that activity, you ass. That was very much a 'it takes two to tango' situation, Sannie."

San laughed hard in response to that, his dimples popping and his chest rising and falling with each chuckle. He was satisfied to have brought out some humor in you; he knew that was the way he could get you to calm down, to feel a little better and be ready for everything he was about to launch into.

"Do you know that you're the only one other than my mom that I let call me Sannie?" he said, voice softer.

"No I didn't- wait, why?" you asked, suddenly really thinking about what he'd said.

"Uh- you just, I..." he looked at you with a confusing expression, face a mixture of what looked like shock and anticipation.

"Sannie is a special nickname only your mom uses for you?" you asked, tone harsher than he'd hoped.

"Yeah," he sighed, looking at you.

"Then why do you let me call you that?" you asked, placing your finished plate of food on the coffee table in front of you, then leaning back and crossing your legs and arms.

"Cause you're special to me," he said, resting the side of his head on his palm, eyeing you deeply now.

"San- I- I thought that was what everyone called you, I thought it was just your nickname. I wouldn't have started calling you that if I'd known it was a you and your mom thing. I'm not trying to be some replacement for her, or something," you stuttered, hands gesturing in front of your face to emphasize your point.

"Of course you're not a replacement for here, god, you're just special to me, can't you understand-"

"San, why would I be the only one who gets to use the special nickname? You have closer friends, a brother, other family you're close to, I'm just a girl you sleep with sometimes. I'm not the love of your life, or something, we're not married with a baby on the way, and now that we're a family unit of our own you're letting me use this special name for you. We're just friends, why didn't you tell me!?" you snapped, cutting him off mid sentence without a care in the world.

"We're not just friends, y/n," he grumbled, face stony. "And I don't see what a big deal it is that I let you use that nickname. You're the one who started using it without even asking me if it was okay," he shot back, face and body completely still.

"Fuck you," you muttered, standing up and grabbing your plate, walking over to the sink to clean it. "I know you think everything bad between us is my fault; you probably somehow think that shit you pulled last night is my fault, too."

"I wanted to talk to you about that, I wanted to apologize-"

"Oh, you wanted to apologize for choking me? Slapping me? Practically raping me?" you turned around, staring at him with wide, petulant eyes.

"Oh god, please don't use that word," he sighed, his food long abandoned as he leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"Why, cause it's honest?" you shot back, rolling your eyes at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I did that baby, I know it was wrong, it was so wrong, I'm just, please know I'm so fucking sorry and I'll do anything I can to make it up to you..." he trailed off, mumbling, a deep sniffle cutting off his words. He was sobbing into his hands, his bare shoulders moving up and down as he heaved, trying with all his might to stop himself from completely breaking down. The sight of it immediately shot right through you; you started crying too, in an instant a huge deluge of tears falling down your cheeks and onto the floor below. It was so painful, whatever this feeling was; it was like the entire foundation of your body was cracking, like you were about to crumble in on yourself and die on the spot.

"Sannie, please, stop crying," you managed to say, haphazardly wiping the tears from your eyes. But they kept coming; they wouldn't stop until his stopped, you realized; there was something in you that was breaking with him, like your beratement of him was a boomerang, swinging back and hitting you too.

"I can't, I'm sorry," he squeaked, and you'd never heard his voice like that, never seen him break down so severely.

"Sannie, please," you cried, and suddenly your feet were rushing over to him, and you wrapped your hands around his folded torso, your tears now falling onto the smooth plane of his back. "Please, when you cry I cry, and I don't wanna fucking cry right now."

It made him cry harder, hearing the desperation in your tone; he tried with all his might to calm himself, to take some deep breaths. But he didn't have the strength; the exhaustion from this past month was really catching up with him, and that high he was riding from the gym this morning was long gone. There was nothing he could do now to stop this; he never cried like this, he was sure the last time was more than a decade ago. He had no idea how to put an end to it.

"I'm sorry I used that word, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you chocked out, breathing through your tears as best as you could, holding onto him for dear life. There were no words on his tongue; he couldn't think of anything now, couldn't remember a single thing he'd planned to say to you, the conversation he'd worked himself up to all morning. Instead he was left with this terrible hollow hole in his chest; one you had created, one you filled, one that he feared more than anything. Your tears were the worst thing for him; the gash you'd carved only grew, deeper, wider, getting closer to the exact shape of you, and all he could do was sit himself up and grab you, wrapping you around him and holding you tight.

"You're not just my friend," he said, voice thin and weak with tears. "And right now I fucking hate you."

next part ->

Taglist: @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starhwa1024 @pyeongstarr @hwaromi @completelyjae

@midnightrebel1028 @pautiny27

Thank you for reading and supporting me my loves! <3333

[just-some-random-blogger]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIGHT ANGST? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? IM SO??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHATS HAPPENING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

I just know shits about to go down at the fucking quidditch match I just know it I know it. As for the angst.... Thus far light work, no reaction.............. I'm a bit............ Sus......... 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 Where's the angst. Where's the angst. *CLANKS PANS* SHOW YOURSELF RAT 🫵 IM GETTING NERVOUS

I started reading this the day I got a notification but I was so tired 😫💔 and I was hating every moment of it so I just relaxed. I'm glad I did because I LOVEEE THISSSSS. Imagine if I walked away hating this cos I was so tired. Fuck off 🙄✋

You'd been homeschooled your entire life due to your father's protective nature, but with Draco being 16, he felt you'd have adequate enough protection.

❓ what... Why would she need protection? And from her younger brother????????? I fear the not knowing the lore is showing your honor 😬 IMMA JUST ROLL WITH IT YES YES I REMEMBER THESE GROWN ASS ADULTS WERE BEEFING WITH KIDS FOR SOME FUCKING REASON?????? HISS HISS VOLDEMORT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK

Finally, you'd get to be around people that weren't Death Eaters twice your age, or your little brother. You loved Draco, but come on. A girl's gotta eat.

HAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAH

SHE REALLY SAID IM NOT HERE FOR EDUCATION IM HERE FOR DICK AHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

You wanted desperately to ride the train with Draco, but your father insisted you be transported separately to minimize the scene you’re appearance would cause.

❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ WHY WOULDNT PEOPLE BE SCARED OF HER?? WHY WOUKD SHE BE A CELEBRITY HELPPPPPPO I DONT KNOWWWWWWW HAHAHAHAAHAHA

You weren’t sure when it happened, but at some point your little brother grew like a weed and now stood a head taller than you.

😔 I know it all too well 👎 loathe

You swore you heard McGonagall curse under her breath, and Draco’s arm tightened around yours.

DKDJJDJDN NOT YOU GETTINF MCGONAGALL TO CURSE BRUHHHH

Suddenly, he was no longer Draco, but Lucius, [...]

My poor draco boy ):

[...] and the girl you immediately recognized as Granger. Or so Draco called her, faux venom on his tongue.

GIRLIE IS A GIRLS GIRL TRUTHER SHE KNOWSSSSSSS UGHHHHH EVEN I WAS LIKE BRUHHH DRACOS RIGHT THEREEEE HERMIONE AND DRACO WERE ALWAYS END GAME JUST LIKE KATARA AND ZUKO YALL ARE JUST WEAKKKKKKK ASSS RATS

What a thrill to finally be seen.

It girl. Light work no reaction

And Lucius made a point of telling Arthur shortly after the decision was made, something about ‘Keep those trouble-making twins away from my daughter.’

????? Why is Lucius talking to Arthur what is happening???? Not the too good for everyone talking to the quote unquote dirt poor rats WHAT IS THIS???? DJDJJDJSJSJSJ HAHAHAHAHAA it's chill it's fine the less I know the better

[...] skipping over his twin beside him. His eyes were different, molten amber and sweet like honey, his hair like phoenix feathers, lips slightly parted like he was staring at a Great Wonder, but instead he was staring at you. Your heart gave an excited flutter.

Skipping over his twin is crazyyy work HAHAHAHAHHA THEY HAVE THE SAME FACE HAHAAHAHAH except I agree Georgie is just so much yummier 😋 SORRY GRED!!! The way you describe him is BEAUTIFUL

You were beautiful, unfairly so. Which of course you were, you’re a Malfoy for Merlin’s sake. And George found that he couldn’t look away.

I feel you george cos I mean malfoys

George watched your eyes skip over Dean, then Seamus, then Hermoine, Harry, Ron—until your eyes locked on his. The air was sucked from the room, his heart hammering like a cornered hare as your gaze inexplicably held his.

DO THEY KNOW EACH OTHER TOO????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

“—pretty fit, eh?” Fred muttered in his ear. “Oi, look at ‘im,” Fred snickered. “George? Geooooorgie?”

Bruhhhhhhhhh not Fred comin to say she's hot only to find his twin geeking 😭😭😭

“Sorry, what’d ya’ say?” George asked, looking around at his friends. They all stared at him with a mix of amusement and abject horror.

At least he's honest damn HAHAH

“She’s a Malfoy,” Hermoine scolded.

🙄✋ and we all know how you feel about em stfu

“Yeah, so by definition, she’s hot,” Seamus replied.

❗🫵 GAY COS YOU THINK DRACO IS HOT

McGonagall lifted the Sorting Hat, and it looked like you were speaking to it, no, flirting with it, your dark lashes fluttering.

IS SHE OKAY WHAT IS HAPPENING????? WITH THE SORTING HAT????? UHM OKAY THATS FINE LIVE YOUR TRUTH ALLIE GO HAT FUCKER

“Worse, probably,” George muttered, forcing himself to look away from you and back to his dinner. Suddenly, he found himself without an appetite.

????? I'm offended????? You don't know me. I don't even know what I originally had to say hold on

The world was at your feet, the lower classman wanted to be you, your classmates wanted to fuck you, and everyone else was terrified of you.

Crazy work. Your honor I dunno how to feel

It seemed your education under your father far surpassed that of your peers, in certain subjects at least.

EDUCATED BADDIEEEEEEEE LICKING HIS THROAT

And, you seemed to see your tall, red-headed boy everywhere you went. You'd learned that his name was George, a Weasley, Draco had sneered when he caught you ogling his tall, lean frame by the lake one afternoon.

🫵YOURS❓ at least this clarified they do nawt know each other. Also draco 🧯chill, your bp

You knew how your family felt about families like the Weasley's, but despite your father's best efforts, you couldn't bring yourself to hate someone for something as trivial as what ran through their veins.

..... But aren't Weasleys pure bloods too?????? At least it says on the website......... BESTIE JUST COS THEY'RE POOR DOESNT MEAN THAT MAKES THEM LESS PURE BLOODED ALSO THEYRE NOT FUCKING POOR MOLLY AND ARTHUR JUST HAVE 10000000000 CHILDREN

But when you entered the library and started pursuing the stacks for the Potions section, you found none other than George Weasley stretched out in a window seat, a book in his lap, his head lolled against the window as he snored.

I'm so sorry I would be taken to jail cos I was immediately 'licking his throat' GIRL STOPPPPPP

You tiptoed closer, taking in the state of him. He was dressed in trousers and a white button down, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his tie a little loose around his throat. His hair was messy, like he'd been running his fingers through it, and his socks were mismatched argyle.

Hi 🫦🥰 (dis my cat btw. My cat, ruby's, kitten, blossom)

You knew you shouldn't, but you found him extremely endearing, so soft-looking and cozy. Your fingers itched to straighten his tie, smooth his flaming hair.

You're better than me. I'd have licked his throat

“George,” you purred, but he didn't respond. “Geoooorge,” you tried again, poking him in the sternum. He turned his head, freckled nose scrunching. “George, darling. It's time to wake up.” You walked your fingers up his chest and tugged lightly on his red and gold tie.

❓❓❓❓❓GAGA HE DOESNT KNOW YOU DAFAQ GIRL PUT A LEASH ON THIS THING

“I, uh, yeah. Lucky me.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “Sleeping like an angel, hm?” He asked, regaining some of that cheeky charm you’d witnessed from afar over the last few weeks. A trait that only piqued your interest further.

Oh my gosh. Rizzler

“You looked awfully sweet to me,” you said, batting your lashes.

KESNN SHES INSUFFERABLE

“I don't believe that for a second, Malfoy.” His eyes skimmed over your face, down to your lips.

HEART PALPITATIONS I DO BITE

“Said the rattlesnake to the kitten,” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.

WHYS HE SO POETIC WHYD HE CALL HIMSELF KITTEN DO YOU MAYHAPS HAVE A DADDY KINK (SHES DADDY)

“You're one to talk, Mr. Weasley. Where’s your twin? Recently severed, are we?”

I LOVEEE HER 👏RE👏CENT👏LY👏SE👏VERED👏 UGHHH

George popped up, revealing his full height and sending you back a step, and your mouth filled with a saliva. The top of your head barely skimmed his collar bone, his limbs long and lean.

Like a tree. Like a lollipop. You understand

He was a delight. Handsome, sweet, clever. A loyal Gryffindor, the opposite of all the other pricks that threw themselves at you.

“Pretty good, yeah. Why? Need a tutor?”

🫦 a husband. ALSO YOURE GOOD A PO- oh no yeah he would be

“If you've got the time.” You shrugged. “I wouldn't want to keep you.”

🙄✋ girl bye shut the fuck up you fake ass piece of shit

You brushed the soft tail of your quill over you lips, mulling over your response. “Well, George. I suppose you are.”

...... WTF IS THE CONTEXT OF THIS I DONT REMEMEBR BUT I THINK I AGREE HAHAHHAHAHA LOL

“So tense, Georgie,” you murmured, reaching a hand up to squeeze at his flexed bicep. “I don't bite, remember?”

NOT HER BEING TOUCHY. SAMEEE. I LOVE GEORGIEEEE MY GEORGIEEEE

“That's a shame, here I thought I was just your Potions tutor.”

💔💔💔💔💔 your honor he's perfect. I should be married to him wtf is this bullshit

“Monday would be great.” You rose up onto your toes to peck his cheek. “See you then!” You tossed over your shoulder as you walked away, leaving him a flustered mess.

NO CUZZZ

THE WAY I WAS LIKE ID KISS HIM GOODBYE AND THEN SHE DID UGHHH WERE LIKE THIS 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 OUR BRAINS ARE LIKE THIS 🤞

George's eyes softened, sensing your hurt, but he didn't back away from his claim. “I think your father has it out for my little brother and his best friends, and I won't put them in danger just because I want to kiss a girl.”

RIZZLER. also weird ass fuckers out for kids is crazyyyyy

His eyes searched your face and you saw the moment he decided he trusted you, eyes melting like honey. "I trust you, rattlesnake." A smirk broke through his serious expression. “Am I going to regret it?”

OOP ITS STARTING MDKDNDJDJDNJ WHY WOULD YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THIS BUT HES SO PRETTY IM GOING TO EAT HIM LOKE CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS

Relief ballooned in your chest. “In the best way,” you purred, bringing his pinky up your lips and brushing a kiss across his knuckle.

KSJJSSJSJS

With a final exhale, he crashed his mouth to yours, his lips supple and insistent, your toes instantly curling in your shoes. You opened up for him and he licked into your mouth with firm strokes, deliberate and claiming. He tasted like lemon drops and black tea, and you were desperate for more of it.

“Y/n,” he hummed, smiling at you. His lips were puffy and slicked with spit, his eyes sparkling.

(unrelated but Colbert is willldding nskssksjjs)

You leaned forward, licking a long stripe from the hollow of his throat, over his Adams apple, to the underside of his chin.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAMMMMSSSS HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY LIFEEE

“Shit.” His hands tightened on your waist, his head falling back to give you more access. You bit down, laving your tongue over his fevered skin, and his let out a low groan. “You little liar,” he gruffed, one of his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. “You do bite.”

BITING YOU FOREVER FOR LIFER MSJSJJSNSNSNJSKS LICKING BITING EATING DEVOURING

MY LOVEEEE THIS WAS A LOT IM SA IM LISTENING I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT GIRL AM I GLAD TO BE HERE RAHHH

A Madness Most Discreet | G.W.

feat. George Weasley x Malfoy!reader

summary: Draco's older sister arrives at Hogwarts for her final year of schooling, and sets her sights on a certain red-headed trickster.

cw: MDNI 18+, pov switching, making out and adult language, light angst (we're just getting started baby), pining, Malfoy family drama and blood prejudice, confident!reader

series navigation | masterlist | divider by @roseraris

Readers POV

No one knew what to expect when the Daily Prophet reported that you, the eldest child of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, would be attending Hogwarts for your final year of schooling.

You'd been homeschooled your entire life due to your father's protective nature, but with Draco being 16, he felt you'd have adequate enough protection. Not to mention, he had more pressing matters to attend to than your schooling.

You were beside yourself with excitement. Finally, you'd see the outside of the walls of Malfoy Manor. Finally, you'd get to be around people that weren't Death Eaters twice your age, or your little brother. You loved Draco, but come on. A girl's gotta eat.

Draco and Professor McGonagall led you through the ancient corridors to the Great Hall, every portraits eye trained on you. The newcomer, the subject of many whispered conversations that passed by them less than an hour prior. It seemed even the castle itself was buzzing about your arrival.

You wanted desperately to ride the train with Draco, but your father insisted you be transported separately to minimize the scene you’re appearance would cause.

But you were not one for subtlety.

“I’m begging you to not make a scene,” Draco hissed in your ear, his Slytherin robes brushing your calves. You weren’t sure when it happened, but at some point your little brother grew like a weed and now stood a head taller than you.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, D.” You looped your arm through his, leaning your head on his shoulder. You were lying through your teeth, and he knew it.

“Seriously, y/n. There’s enough attention on us already.”

“Salazar’s tits, Draco! Would you relax? Everything will be fine.” The three of you reached the door to the Great Hall, closed firmly and unbelievably high.You swore you heard McGonagall curse under her breath, and Draco’s arm tightened around yours.

It seemed a scene would be made after all, and you fought the smile threatening to curve your lips.

“Ready, Malfoys?” McGonagall asked, turning to look over you both. The look in her eyes, almost pitying, made you hold Draco's arm a bit tighter, smile faltering.

What are they so worried about?

“As we’ll ever be,” Draco sighed.

McGonagall pushed open the doors, revealing the massive dining hall. Every table was filled with students, piles and piles of food over every surface, and more travelling on levitating trays around the room. Candles floated from the ceiling, the night sky clear and shining with stars.

Every head swiveled towards you, and you watched Draco’s demeanor change instantly. Suddenly, he was no longer Draco, but Lucius, and your stomach curdled, souring your excitement over a grand entrance.

Draco pulled you even closer to his side, casting a warning sneer to every eye that lingered too long while you walked towards Albus Dumbledore on the dais.

Your eyes ping-ponged from student to student, taking in the people you’d spend the next eight months with. You fought to keep your face neutral, an elegant mask of in difference like you'd been taught, but your heart pounded with excitement in your chest.

What a thrill to finally be seen.

The Gryffindor table was on your right, the maroon-clad students sizing you up with open disdain, but even that couldn't dampen the thrill tingling under your skin.

You spotted Harry Potter towards the center of the impossibly long table, flanked by some red-headed boy, Weasley, you surmised, and the girl you immediately recognized as Granger. Or so Draco called her, faux venom on his tongue.

His eyes flicked to her as well, and you suppressed the snicker that bubbled on your tongue. Despite your sheltered upbringing, you knew infatuation when you saw it.

You looked back towards the group, all of their eyes trained on you. But, your gaze snagged on one of them in particular, skipping over his twin beside him. His eyes were different, molten amber and sweet like honey, his hair like phoenix feathers, lips slightly parted like he was staring at a Great Wonder, but instead he was staring at you. Your heart gave an excited flutter.

Oh, there you are, a voice in the back of your mind whispered.

George's POV

Of course, George had heard that the eldest Malfoy was joining their class. Everyone had heard about your arrival. And Lucius made a point of telling Arthur shortly after the decision was made, something about ‘Keep those trouble-making twins away from my daughter.’

But, when the doors opened to the Great Hall and you entered on Draco’s arm, George had been stunned silent anyways.

You were beautiful, unfairly so. Which of course you were, you’re a Malfoy for Merlin’s sake. And George found that he couldn’t look away.

As you walked towards Professor Dumbledore, you scanned the tables, a curious glint in your gaze betraying your disinterested expression. George watched your eyes skip over Dean, then Seamus, then Hermoine, Harry, Ron—until your eyes locked on his. The air was sucked from the room, his heart hammering like a cornered hare as your gaze inexplicably held his.

Even as you continued to walk by, your eyes remained locked together, your head turning just slightly. A smirk sharpened your angelic face, and George’s jaw went slack. But then Draco gave you a nudge and you turned forward, a slight skip in your step.

“—pretty fit, eh?” Fred muttered in his ear. “Oi, look at ‘im,” Fred snickered. “George? Geooooorgie?”

Ron snapped his fingers in front of his face and George jolted back to reality. “Merlin, mate. Earth to George.”

“Sorry, what’d ya’ say?” George asked, looking around at his friends. They all stared at him with a mix of amusement and abject horror.

“Said she’s pretty fit,” Fred chuckled, bumping his shoulder.

“She’s a Malfoy,” Hermoine scolded.

“Yeah, so by definition, she’s hot,” Seamus replied.

“Exactly—”

George tuned them out as you were lead up to the stage, the Sorting Hat waiting on a stool to your right. Dumbledore was speaking, but George tuned him out as well, too fixated on the arrogant slant of your smile, the mischief shining from your eyes.

You had trouble written all over you.

McGonagall lifted the Sorting Hat, and it looked like you were speaking to it, no, flirting with it, your dark lashes fluttering.

“What is she saying to it?” Harry asked, leaning forward.

McGonagall placed it on your head, and the hat gave a great laugh, rendering the hall silent. “What a mind you have, girl. Clever, cunning, mischievous—a troublesome combination indeed. Seems even a Malfoy can be more than they appear. But even still—” The room held it’s breath, and Draco looked like he might keel over from stress, even paler than usual. “Slytherin!” The hat cried, and Draco exhaled, shaking his head at the dramatic pout on your face.

Saints, that pout. George wanted to sink his teeth into it.

“You think she’s going to be as bad as him?” Ginny asked, watching as Draco escorted you down the stairs and over to the roaring Slytherin table. People were throwing themselves out of their seats to make room for you, and you basked in the attention like a benevolent queen returned to her kingdom.

“Worse, probably,” George muttered, forcing himself to look away from you and back to his dinner. Suddenly, he found himself without an appetite.

Reader's POV

Your first three weeks at Hogwarts had been a whirlwind of introductions, lectures, and parties. The world was at your feet, the lower classman wanted to be you, your classmates wanted to fuck you, and everyone else was terrified of you. You never had to wait for a drink, or a meal, and someone was always willing to do your assignments for you, not that you needed it.

It seemed your education under your father far surpassed that of your peers, in certain subjects at least. You could out cast them all with ease, and were looking forward to when dueling would begin.

And, you seemed to see your tall, red-headed boy everywhere you went. You'd learned that his name was George, a Weasley, Draco had sneered when he caught you ogling his tall, lean frame by the lake one afternoon.

You knew how your family felt about families like the Weasley's, but despite your father's best efforts, you couldn't bring yourself to hate someone for something as trivial as what ran through their veins.

An opportunity to speak to George hadn't presented itself until you'd escaped to the library one evening. The attention you initially craved was starting to border on suffocating, and you wanted a few hours of quiet to yourself.

It was a lesson your mother had taught you. You can withstand anything so long as you hold onto yourself.

But when you entered the library and started pursuing the stacks for the Potions section, you found none other than George Weasley stretched out in a window seat, a book in his lap, his head lolled against the window as he snored.

You tiptoed closer, taking in the state of him. He was dressed in trousers and a white button down, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his tie a little loose around his throat. His hair was messy, like he'd been running his fingers through it, and his socks were mismatched argyle.

You knew you shouldn't, but you found him extremely endearing, so soft-looking and cozy. Your fingers itched to straighten his tie, smooth his flaming hair.

Instead you lifted the book from his lap and read the cover. “Pyromancy and Magical Combustion: A Spellcaster’s Guide”

George stirred suddenly, his hands flexing around empty air.

You considered backing off and leaving him to rest, but where the fun in that?

“George,” you purred, but he didn't respond. “Geoooorge,” you tried again, poking him in the sternum. He turned his head, freckled nose scrunching. “George, darling. It's time to wake up.” You walked your fingers up his chest and tugged lightly on his red and gold tie.

“Hm?” He mumbled, brown lashes fluttering open to reveal his sleep-trodden, amber eyes. They locked on your face, widening for a second before he jolted upright. “Y/n? Merlin, where the fuck—”

“It’s alright, love,” you shushed him, using deft fingers to straighten his tie and fix his collar. “You're in the library, sleeping like an angel. Lucky it was me that found you and not Pince.” You glanced up at him, finding his jaw a little slack, his eyes round as he stared at you in shock.

You always were a little too bold for your own good. Reckless in the pursuit of what you wanted.

“I, uh, yeah. Lucky me.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “Sleeping like an angel, hm?” He asked, regaining some of that cheeky charm you’d witnessed from afar over the last few weeks. A trait that only piqued your interest further.

“You looked awfully sweet to me,” you said, batting your lashes.

“Said the rattlesnake to the kitten,” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Rattlesnake?” You scoffed, feigning hurt with a hand over your heart. “I don't bite!”

“I don't believe that for a second, Malfoy.” His eyes skimmed over your face, down to your lips.

You flashed said fangs, and he smiled back.

“Why are you in the library?” He asked, glancing over your shoulder. “Alone? I haven't seen you without Draco or one of his goons since you arrived.”

You rolled your eyes. Draco had assigned Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini to watch over you when he couldn't, and it took a concerted effort to evade them and come here. “Was getting a little tired of the entourage,” you admitted.

“A Malfoy? Tired of attention?” He tapped a finger on your forehead, featherlight. “I think you might be broken.”

“You're one to talk, Mr. Weasley. Where’s your twin? Recently severed, are we?”

He chuckled, the sound low and honey sweet. “Hufflepuff party.”

“And you didn't go, because…? You love pyromancy so much?” You held up the book, teasing him.

“Wasn't in the mood to socialize,” he said, shrugging a shoulder.

“Well, George, it seems we may have more in common than we realized.”

His eyes warmed. “Seems so.”

“Could you help me find the Potions section?” You asked, cocking a thumb over your shoulder. “Draco never gave me a tour…”

George popped up, revealing his full height and sending you back a step, and your mouth filled with a saliva. The top of your head barely skimmed his collar bone, his limbs long and lean.

He offered you his elbow. “Right this way, Ms. Malfoy.”

You rested your hand on his bicep, the burgeoning heat between you flaring brightly at even the smallest contact, and he lead you through the stacks.

He was warm and steady beside you, his cologne fresh and clean smelling, his muscles flexing slightly as he steered you. Butterflies stirred in your stomach, pleased that your instinct when you spotted him had been correct.

He was a delight. Handsome, sweet, clever. A loyal Gryffindor, the opposite of all the other pricks that threw themselves at you.

When you arrived at the clearly labeled Potions section, you turned to face him. “You’re in my Potions class, right? Are you any good?” You asked, wanting to delay his departure.

“Pretty good, yeah. Why? Need a tutor?” He quirked an eyebrow, his voice coming out a little too fast to be ready as anything but eager.

“If you've got the time.” You shrugged. “I wouldn't want to keep you.”

“Nonsense. I'm happy to be of service,” he said, winking at you, sending a fizz of desire pulsing through your blood.

George gathered the books you needed and led you to a secluded table at the back of the library, recognizing the risk of anyone seeing the two of you together, even doing something as simple as studying.

“So, what's the trouble with Potions?” He asked once you were settled in, books splayed around the table.

“My father didn't see the value in it, and it's not like we have a laboratory in the Manor,” you said, dipping your quill in your ink.

“So you were homeschooled your entire life?” George folded his arms against the table, leaning a bit closer. “Why?”

You shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “My father had his reasons.” It was a practiced answer, a safe one, and it tasted bitter on your tongue. “He thought it wasn't safe,” you added, wanting to assuage the guilty feeling.

“Not safe?” George scoffed. “Hogwarts is the safest place in the world.

“Depends on who your enemies are,” you said, finally meeting his eyes.

“And who are you enemies?” He asked, sitting back on his chair.

You brushed the soft tail of your quill over you lips, mulling over your response. “Well, George. I suppose you are.”

“That's a shame, here I thought I was just your Potions tutor.”

You snorted, caught off guard by his joking. “Should be fine, as long as we aren't friends,” you chuckled.

“Definitely not friends.” He smiled. “Now, the thing about Beezors…”

George's POV

George watched you pour over your notes, brow furrowed slightly in concentration, and you did that god-forsaken fucking thing with your quill again.

Dragged the feather over your lips with the barest touch, the movement unconscious, and it made his heart seize every single fucking time.

He could hardly believe he was sitting across from you, walking through the curriculum you needed for the first Potions exam in two weeks. You'd missed a lot being homeschooled, but we're clearly incredibly bright, and you picked everything up with ease that rivaled Hermione.

He'd been fascinated by you from the moment you walked into the Great Hall, and managed to snag his eye every time you entered a room there after. You occupied his mind too, so much so he was already behind in Charms, but he wasn't even quite ready to admit that to himself yet.

You were a Malfoy, after all. It didn't matter that you were interesting, or clever, or beautiful. You were a Malfoy. End of story.

He should get up and walk away right now.

What right did you have asking him for help? You had everything. And you were smart enough to do this on your own. You didn't need him. And he shouldn't want you.

Oh, Merlin. And he didn't want you….right?

He couldn't. He barely knew you beyond your reputation and the whispers he'd gathered in the halls, but it felt like he did. Like he's known you for ages, the quiet between you comfortable despite his racing thoughts.

But no, surely not. He didn't want you. Nope.

You dragged you quill against your lips again, sighing softly, and he nearly melted to the floor like a lit candle.

Fuck. He wanted you.

“George?” You called, waving a hand in front of his face, and he jolted back to the present. “Dozing off again?” You teased, voice sweet as treacle.

“No, was just, ah, trying to remember what we covered fourth year,” he said, rubbing the back of his head and hoping you didn't catch the flush in his cheeks.

But based on the twinkle in your eye, you certainly did.

“Maybe we can cover it tomorrow?” You asked, closing your book and setting down your quill. “I'm not sure I can absorb anything else tonight—” a soft yawn punctuated your words, sweet as a lamb, and George had to look away so he didn't memorize the exact shade of your tongue.

Definitely don't meet up with her tomorrow. “Yeah, same spot?” He asked, gathering his things as well.

“It's a date.” You winked, and flitted between the stacks, disappearing from his sight.

George slumped back onto his seat, scrubbing a hand over his face.

When he showed up ten minutes early to the library the following day, he'd never felt more pathetic in his life.

All day, he told himself he wasn't going to go. That he was going to leave you hanging and end this before it got started. Whatever this was.

He was betraying his family by sitting in this chair, guilt churning and acrid in his gut. They would be so disappointed him. He could already hear his mother in his mind: you're a spineless fool.

And it was the truth. He'd lied to Fred and Ron about what he was doing, and snuck past Hermione and Harry who were studying by the entrance. He was lying to and hiding from the people he loved most, all for a Malfoy.

He was about to get up from his seat when you came breezing around the corner, a cauldron in your arms. He continued to rise but instead of fleeing, he took the cauldron from you with a chastising tsk.

“Stealing from Snape, are we, rattlesnake?” He set the cauldron on the table, turning back to you.

“I didn't steal it!” You argued.

He raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.

“I'm going to bring it back later.” You rolled your eyes and dumped your bag onto the table, potions and herbs rolling out. “How else am I supposed to learn about potions?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Merlin, you were adorable. Pink cheeked from carrying everything, your hair windswept, eyes shining with that rebellious light. He was helpless, drawn to it like a moth.

“Just don't blow my eyebrows off,” he grumbled.

“No promises,” you teased back.

The two of you toiled the rest of the evening away over the cauldron, successfully making two of the four potions Snape had covered this semester.

You stood shoulder to shoulder over the bubbling green liquid, and he glanced down at you, at the victorious little grin on your face, and he felt his insides twist.

He reached to grab a bundle of herbs on your right, and you turned to grab an ingredient on his left, and your bodies bumped together in the middle, faces nearly colliding.

“S-shit, sorry,” he said, pretending he couldn't smell the expensive perfume on your skin. Like it wasn't rotting his brain from the inside out.

“Sorry for what?” You asked, leaning the rest of the way to get your ingredient, apparently completely unbothered by your chest pressed up against his, your face brushing his shoulder.

“Uh, I—”

“So tense, Georgie,” you murmured, reaching a hand up to squeeze at his flexed bicep. “I don't bite, remember?”

Every scrap of attention zeroed in on your hand touching his arm, his heart thundering in his chest. Georgie. The nickname rattled around in his empty mind. Georgie. Georgie. Georgie.

“I'll try,” he rasped, clearing his throat.

An hour later and you finished the third Potion, the sun long ago set over the horizon. It wouldn't be long before Pince came looking for stragglers, and you'd be booted from the library.

George glanced over at you, your cheek propped against your palm, lashes fluttering as your lids slid closed. Something warm bloomed in his chest watching you doze, peaceful and untroubled, trusting him enough to let your guard down so completely.

As quietly as he could, he picked up his things and yours, and discarded the potion. Carefully, he tucked the cauldron behind one of the the shelves for your next study session so you wouldn't have to lug it back and forth, vowing to take the fall if Snape caught on.

“Rattlesnake,” he cooed, nudging your shoulder. “C’mon, we gotta get out of here.”

You groaned, nose wrinkling before you blinked open your eyes at him. A sleepy smile stretched across your face, and his knees turned to jelly. He wanted to kiss you so badly it stole his breath.

“Sorry, Georgie,” you mumbled, covering your mouth when you yawned.

“All good, love,” he replied, handing you your things. Shit, he cursed himself. Love had just rolled off his tongue, easy as breathing.

But you only smiled at him, slinging your bag over your shoulder and getting to your feet. “Thanks for your help,” you said. “Do you think you'll have time to meet next week?”

Quidditch matches started next week, eating into the little bit of free time he had. But he'd figure it out.

“Could probably meet Monday after practice, if you'd like,” he said, shouldering his own bag.

“Monday would be great.” You rose up onto your toes to peck his cheek. “See you then!” You tossed over your shoulder as you walked away, leaving him a flustered mess.

He rubbed his hand over his cheek, the place your lips brushed his skin still tingling, and sighed. How could he stay away from you? Why should he? Because of your last name?

It was the Malfoy’s job to be stuck up and judgemental, not his. And you seemed to be nothing like them…

Then, something occured to him. A thought so upsetting it punched the air out of his chest and he dropped back down onto his chair.

What if this was a trick?

What if this was a way for the Malfoy's to get close to his family? To get them to let their guards down? What if you were just a beautiful Trojan Horse?

He shook his head, trying to shake the dark thoughts loose. You couldn't be, not with those bright eyes and rebellious smile. He couldn't imagine you being so cruel. But then again…you were a Malfoy.

How could he know for sure?

He left the library with his head hung low, doubts swirling in his mind like a storm, making his stomach churn, but one stood clearer than the rest. Disruptive as a strike of lightning.

Was it worth the risk?

Reader's POV

Your connection with George deepened over those few study sessions, and it seemed he was just as into you as you were him. From the knocked together knees, to his fingers brushing against yours when he passed over an ingredient or book, to his eyes lingering on you over the cauldron, the signs were plentiful.

But Monday night, he'd been different.

He was acting strange the entire study session, watching you closely, giving clipped, one or two word answers. His shoulders seemed almost heavy, burdened.

At first, you chalked it up to him being tired after practice, but instinctively, you knew it had something to do with you.

Unable to bear it any longer, you turned to him after shelving your books. “Is something wrong, George?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

He froze in place, refusing to meet your eyes. Then, something seemed to give way in his expression, a loaded sigh loosing from his chest. “I'm not sure we should keep doing this,” he admitted, sounding almost pained. “Your family would have a conniption, as would mine.”

You let your arms fall to your sides. It was only a matter of time before this came up, you supposed. But, you were prepared for it. “And?” You asked, risking a step closer. “I'm not sure about you…” you placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart race, his muscles tense under your touch. But he didn't pull away. “But I make my own decisions.”

He placed his hand over yours. “You could have anyone you want. So, why me? What's in it for you?”

You recoiled slightly, removing your hand from him and taking a step back. “You think I have some ulterior motive.” It wasn't a question, nor was it a shock. Everyone always assumed you did everything with malicious intent. You just thought maybe George saw you differently.

George's eyes softened, sensing your hurt, but he didn't back away from his claim. “I think your father has it out for my little brother and his best friends, and I won't put them in danger just because I want to kiss a girl.”

Your heart gave a jilted pang, confusion making your brows furrow. You knew he was being completely honest. He wanted to kiss you, but he was afraid of what the consequences might be. Consequences you hadn't even really considered.

George had every reason to be skeptical of you. But your only ulterior motive was getting closer to him, and maybe getting under your father's skin a little should he ever find out.

“I don't have an ulterior motive, George. Nor do I take orders from anyone, least of all my father. I have no ill will towards your family, and I'm sorry that mine has treated you all so poorly.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Swear it,” he said, holding up his pinky.

You wrapped your pinky around his. “I swear.”

His eyes searched your face and you saw the moment he decided he trusted you, eyes melting like honey. "I trust you, rattlesnake." A smirk broke through his serious expression. “Am I going to regret it?”

Relief ballooned in your chest. “In the best way,” you purred, bringing his pinky up your lips and brushing a kiss across his knuckle.

His pupils dilated, breath hitching in his chest. Then you were moving, his body pressing you backwards against the bookshelf, dropping your pinky to brace your hips with both hands.

“You're awfully confident,” he whispered in your ear, making your stomach flutter with anticipation.

You hadn't felt this excited in far too long, his touch, his voice as tempting as the finest wine.

“Are you going to find out why? Or keep prattling on?”

With a final exhale, he crashed his mouth to yours, his lips supple and insistent, your toes instantly curling in your shoes. You opened up for him and he licked into your mouth with firm strokes, deliberate and claiming. He tasted like lemon drops and black tea, and you were desperate for more of it.

Every other kiss you'd had felt lifeless and disappointing, empty and wet in the worst way. But this, the fervid caress of his searching tongue, felt like wildfire: burning, consuming, ravenous.

“George,” you gasped when his lips traveled down your neck, the tip of his nose a cold contrast to the heat of his mouth.

He nipped at your pulse, sucking the skin between his teeth to leave a mark.

“George!” You giggled, pulling on his hair to stop him.

“Y/n,” he hummed, smiling at you. His lips were puffy and slicked with spit, his eyes sparkling.

Two could play at that game.

You leaned forward, licking a long stripe from the hollow of his throat, over his Adams apple, to the underside of his chin.

“Shit.” His hands tightened on your waist, his head falling back to give you more access. You bit down, laving your tongue over his fevered skin, and his let out a low groan. “You little liar,” he gruffed, one of his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. “You do bite.”

You giggled, lapping at the light purple mark you left behind. “I'm not sorry.”

He tipped your head back and reconnected your lips, teasing and light. “You have no reason to be. Bite me all you like, rattlesnake,” he murmured between unhurried pecks.

“Careful what you ask for.” You caught his lower lip between your teeth and tugged gently, earning another groan, before kissing him a final time, soft and lingering.

Hearing the distant chime of the bell tower, you finally broke apart. Curfew. Pince would be around any second.

You brushed your nose against his. “I have to get back to the common room,” you sighed.

“’Course. Wouldn't dream of keeping you from your beauty sleep.” He brought your knuckles to his lips, kissing them lightly. “See you at the match tomorrow?”

You nodded, pulling your still tingling lower lip between your teeth. “Absolutely. I’ll be in green.”

“Ouch,” he chuckled, pretending to wince. “I'll have you in red soon enough.” He released your hand and walked backwards out of the aisle, his eyes trained on you until he was forced to turn the corner, his hand sticking out to wave a final goodbye as he disappeared.

You placed a hand over your thundering heart, a little stunned by your bodies intense reaction him.

What in Salazar's name has you gotten yourself into?

George's POV

George left the library achingly hard and shook to his core, the blood that hadn't traveled south roaring in his ears.

That was the singularly most earth-shattering kiss of his life. And it was with the absolute last person he should be kissing.

George wasn't the type to get physical so quickly after meeting someone, but you were irresistible. And seemed to want him as badly as he wanted you, a fact he struggled to get his head around.

And even though he knew he should, he couldn't bring himself to regret a second of it. In fact, he was already anxiously awaiting the match tomorrow, debating whether or not he could squeeze in some extra practice at dawn while he walked back to his dorm.

As soon as he opened the door, he found his brother, Ron, Harry, Seamus, and Neville sitting up in their beds, and stopped short.

“Hey George!” Harry called, waving.

“What’s the matter with you?” Fred asked, clocking his trepidation immediately.

George had to fight to urge to clap a hand over the mark you’d left on his neck. Would they smell your perfume on his skin?

“Nothing? Why?” He asked, heading towards his trunk.

Fred eyed him suspiciously. “Where have you been?”

“Library,” George answered, a little too quick.

Fred studied him a moment longer, then snapped his fingers, a huge grin on his face. “You were with a girl!”

The rest of the boys oooooh’d, and George felt his cheeks heat.

“Yeah, right. You know me, drowning in babes,” he argued, throwing a towel and his pajamas over his shoulder. “I'm going to take a shower.”

“Ah, so just a snog, then?” Seamus teased.

George flipped them off and left for the showers, praying they forget about it by the time he got back.

Reader's POV

“Where the fuck have you been?” Draco snapped, rounding on you as soon as you stepped back into the Slytherin common room.

“Places,” you reply, kissing his cheek before strolling by.

He caught your wrist, tugging you back to him. “Y/n…”

“Draco…” You rolled your eyes. “I was in the library, relax.” You pull away from him and walk towards the girls dormitory, Draco on your heels.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time there,” he accused, an edge of suspicion in his voice. “I would have gone with you, or Blaise or Pansy—”

“I wanted to go alone,” you snapped, stopping so suddenly he bumped into you. A hush fell over the common room. “I don't need a fucking body guard, Draco. You need to back off.”

Draco's nostrils flared, his eyes narrowing. “Stop it,” he hissed. “We can talk about this in private.”

“Why? Is your ‘bad guy' reputation so fragile?”

His jaw flexed, and you could tell your words stung, hurt flickering across his eyes.

You sighed. “D, I can take care of myself,” you murmured.

“But if something happened to you…” his voice softened, trailing off.

“Let me have this,” you asked, taking his hand in both of yours. “Please. I've never had any freedom.”

He squeezed your hands. “I know, I know. Just…let me know where you are, at least? Don't just keep disappearing—what is that?” His eyes hardened, lowering to your neck.

You fought to hold your composure. “What? Oh, the burn? I bumped it with my curling iron this afternoon.” You grazed your fingers over the mark George had left, a flurry of butterflies kicking up in your stomach.

Draco dropped your hand, and guilt soured your fuzzy feelings.

“Who is it?” He growled.

“Draco—”

“You think I can't tell when you're lying?” He grabbed you and lead you into a quieter part of the common room, shadowed from onlookers. “Who was it, y/n?”

You glared daggers at him, squaring your shoulders. “I suggest you mind your own business, or we will have a fucking problem. I will not hesitate to dismantle every brick of this bullshit castle you've built. Clear?”

His jaw ticked, eyes blazing. “This is not a fucking game,” he said after a tense moment of silence.

“Just trust me, okay? I’m fine. We’re fine. Not everything is life and death.”

“Y/n, you aren't listening—”

“No, you aren't listening. We're safe here. And I have my brother to protect me from anything scary, yeah?” You reached up to pinch his cheek, and he scowled, swatting your hand away.

“I can't protect you if I don't know where you are,” he argued.

You sighed. “I'll try and tell you from now on, okay? But you can't be with me 24/7. You need to have a little faith in me.”

“It's not you that I doubt,” he grumbled, but you could tell that you'd won this round.

“Goodnight, Draco. And don't stay up too late, you've got a game tomorrow.” You poked him hard in the chest, and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, sister.” He waved you off and you ascended the stairs to the girls dorm, leaving him to his friends, and you to toss and turn in your bed, dreaming of George.

Thank you for reading!

If you'd like to be included in the taglist, comment below!

taglist: @pxige1234, @simars3, @jaybbygrl, @irlpokemonsworld, @just-some-random-blogger

[001x456]

any 457 fic recs?

In-ho x Gi-hun fic recs

credits to the respective authors! ♡

*some of them are wholesome fluff, but some may contain topics that can be triggering, taboo and considered “dark theme” in nature; so after tapping the links, make sure you read the tags first (actually, since I'm a sucker for whump, spicy and fucked up stuff, most of them are 'dead dove do not eat', so be warned)

Overthrown

Seong Gi-hun isn't the only enemy the Front Man has. It takes him too long to realize that.  Or, Front Man's right hand man, the Officer, with the help of the Soldiers, plans to take him down. And In-ho has been too blind to see the betrayal coming.  (Ironic enough, it turns out the one who's too trusting isn't Gi-hun.)

Obedience and Oblivion (NSFW)

Dragged back into the shadows of the games, Gi-hun finds himself bound not just by chains but by the quiet, unnerving pull of the man who holds him captive. The Front Man offers him comfort wrapped in control, tenderness laced with possession. As lines blur between survival and submission, freedom and desire, Gi-hun must decide: will he rise above, or let himself fall deeper into the arms of the enemy?

and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me

"Young-il was a good person. He was my friend. And you killed him because all he wanted was to save his family."

"Gi-hun —" In-ho quickly stopped and shut his mouth when he realized he was letting it slip. He's Player 456 to you now, and you're not Young-il anymore, warned the voices in his head.

You're the Front Man and he's Player 456. Young-il and Gi-hun are no more. And that ache, the sudden surge of pain in In-ho's chest, In-ho could never seem to understand.

all I worship and adore (NSFW)

After the tenth year anniversary of his wife's death, In-ho decided it was time for him to feel something else that wasn't grief. He found himself in a shady brothel with a companion of an overly friendly, overly awkward sex worker named Seong Gi-hun. (It's fine, right? It's merely physical pleasure and nothing more. This does not mean you're betraying her, it does not mean you're moving on, or so In-ho told himself.)

loving you is a losing game

Gasping and gurgling and choking on his own blood, In-ho's eyes remain fixated on Gi-hun and Jun-ho.

Mister Right

“Hwang Inho,” His assailant introduced stiffly and rattled off a lengthy sequence of numbers. “Eh?” They’d given Gihun something for the pain and it was making him a little dizzy. “My name and badge number,” The man said, his jaw clenched tight as he advised, “you should lodge a formal complaint to the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency when you are able to walk, sir.” “Oh…ok.” “Did you remember what I just said?” Gihun’s head lolled. He blinked groggily at the figure dressed in all black. “Are you my nurse? This needle in my arm hurts. Could you blow on it?” The man didn’t move. “Please?” He whined, blinking back tears.

One Way Ticket (NSFW)

Gi-hun arrives in a foreign land brimming with hope and dreams of starting a new life with the woman he’s convinced is his soulmate. But when things start to unravel, and the truth of his situation becomes painfully clear, he finds himself at the mercy of a stranger—Hwang In-ho, a man who sees opportunity in Gi-hun’s desperation.

Final Game

In which In-ho tries running away from his own self, his guilt, doubt and feelings. (Gi-hun is handcuffed to a bed, yet In-ho finds himself the one in chains, unable to run away.)

Material Girl

“I’m not a prostitute,” The man sitting in the small plastic chair opposite Junho’s work desk repeated. Junho glanced up from the arrest form he was filling out on his computer and studied him. Seong Gihun, age forty-three, resident of Ssangmun-dong. The system showed his only living relative to be his elderly mother. There were numerous citations on file for money issues mostly, but no prostitution. Oh, and today was his birthday. “Officer,” the man said, wringing his hands like an old woman and rocking in his seat, “I swear.” Junho took his fingers off the keyboard and crossed them over his desk. “Ajusshi, I have you on video without your pants in a popular love hotel.”

dead (for a little while) (NSFW)

Gi-hun loses the next game.

Strangely, they don't kill him.

like a good, good dog (NSFW)

"Come on," Thanos — Player 230 — said, "I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. A blind person could see you've been yearning for each other. Don't look at me like that, I'm just doing you both a favor here."

"What did you just say?" Gi-hun asked.

"You heard me. Fuck 001. Or die."

In a Truth or Dare game, Gi-hun landed himself with the most absurd dare. In-ho realized the price of his undercover mission may be higher than he thought when he was getting fucked at his own game. Figuratively and literally.

Alternative Universe where no one gets hurt.

Forgotten Vows (NSFW)

Gi-Hun wakes up with a wedding ring on his finger.

Dirty Business (NSFW)

Gi-hun sucks In-ho’s dick while he watches the chaos unfold.

Facilitated Karma

VIPs kind of get whatever they want, here- so when one of them orders to have Gi-hun for a night, In-ho has to comply.

Gi-hun doesn't get the memo.

All Your Pieces (NSFW)

After the failed rebellion, he dissociates on the Frontman's floor.

pick up your stitches (better than your riches) (NSFW)

Gi-hun just looks at him in silence for a moment, studying his frame intently. “How do you live with yourself?"

“I don’t know.”

When he leans in, it’s slow and deliberate. It’s like he’s showing his hands. Begging Gi-hun to squint and pretend they’re clean.

“You can tell me no,” he reminds him. Miraculously, Gi-hun just nods.

Or: Gi-hun and the Frontman meet after the games are through.

wrap my name across your mouth when i let my feelings down (NSFW)

“You haven’t eaten all day,” In-ho reminds him, a note of desperation in his voice. “Let me feed you, Gi-hun.”

Gi-hun’s eyes are unfocused and bloodshot, he notices. There are dark circles underneath them. In-ho chastises himself for not considering the fact that his companion might be sleep deprived.

“Uh, yeah,” Gi-hun awkwardly rubs at his neck with his right hand. “I could eat.”

in the flow of things

“That’s my fish,” Inho snaps, taking a step closer. His voice echoes through the narrow space, sharp with rage. The man chuckles softly. “I mean… define 'your' fish.” Inho blinks, momentarily stunned by the audacity. “Are you serious? You stole it. You've been stealing my fish.” “Borrowing,” the man corrects, raising his finger. “Relocating is the better word, actually. You keep buying more anyway, so I figured-” “Relocating? Are you serious right now?” Inho's voice rises, disbelief flooding his system. He stalks closer, fists clenched. “You’ve been breaking into my apartment and stealing my fish like it’s some kind of hobby?”

or Five times Inho came home to an empty fishbowl, and the one time he finally caught the culprit.

let's drift away in fits of pleasure (NSFW)

Fronting a secret killing game while also taking place in said game was difficult as expected, but the most unexpected inconvenience was that of sneaking out every night to return to In-ho's office. He resorted to excusing himself to the bathroom for long hours during lights out and hoping the others didn’t bother to ask in the haze of their exhaustion.

It was Gi-hun that pushed the boundaries, as he should have learned to expect these days.

Nightmares

Chapter 1: Gihun gets a nightmare and I Inho takes care of him Chapter 2: Inho gets a nightmare and trys to hide it from Gihun because he thinks he deserves to get them

TO YOUR SWEET NOTHING

"You’re up early,” came the dry, familiar voice of In-ho beside Gi-hun. “Early?” Gi-hun snorted, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s almost nine. You call that early?” In-ho grunted, shifting slightly but making no move to get up. “It is when you’ve spent years sleeping with one eye open,” he murmured, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Or, a soft lazy morning between Inho and Gihun

Would You Still Love Me?

In-ho turned back to his microscope, clearly done with the conversation, but his lips twitched into a smile. “Speaking of worms…” “Oh, please no,” Gi-hun groaned. Nothing sane or understandable ever followed that phrase. “Would you still love me if I were a worm?” “Why are you even asking this?” Gi-hun demanded. “Do you plan on turning into a worm?” His eyes widened in mock horror. “Oh my god, did you sign up for some kind of freaky experiment?”

Or, "Would you still love me if I was a worm?" fic featuring Gi-hun and In-ho!

[fanfics-i-find-here]

Do I Know You? Part 12

Synopsis: You send Jason home, but he’s still worried about you.

Note: Last filler chapter for a minute. Reader and Jason have lost all sense of what normal platonic touching is but it’s fine.

Masterlist

Jason did stay another night. He had offered to sleep on the couch this time, claiming your bed was too small for the both of you. You had just rolled your eyes and said he would be sleeping in your bed with you, claiming that it would be like a sleepover (it gave you more sense of security if he was close). Secretly, he was grateful for your insistence. He hadn’t slept the night before, like at all. He spent the night next to you worried something else would happen, despite knowing nothing would. You seemed worried about the same thing, mumbling in your sleep, face scrunching and relaxing randomly. You woke a few times, a terrible look of terror on your features. But Jason was there. He’d pull you close, petting your hair and murmuring to you about how you were safe, and you would drift back off into a fitful sleep. He’s not sure you even remember it.

He had checked in with the family first thing in the morning after he found his phone full of spammed text messages and phone calls. Mostly from Steph, shockingly. She seemed extremely concerned about you like you were friends. That’s when she told him that she had also been visiting you at work, a kinship forming from there. She’s not just yours Jason, you have to share, she had messaged in complaint. He scoffed at the statement but conceded with keeping everyone posted after that. He had one text from Bruce. We need to talk. No doubt about how the news was broadcasting that Red Hood was back in his murder phase.

After you had woken up, you looked worse for wear but less terrified. He enjoyed having you close, it seemed you need it just like him. You would relax against him, and he would stare at you, like a creep. You seemed less fitful in your sleep on the couch. He kept his touch on you, your legs, for your peace of mind, not his. At least that’s what he told himself. Jason liked taking care of people, it's why he protected Crime Alley and the surrounding areas the way he did. It’s what he’s known since he was young, with his mom. She was so out of it most of the time, what else could he do but take care of her? He likes to think that his mom (the one he rarely met when she wasn’t hyped up on drugs) would have liked you.

At the close of the evening, only 7 o’clock, you dragged him to your room and shuffled into your bed, apologizing that you didn’t have any clothes that would fit him more comfortably to sleep. He shook off the notion and settled on top of the covers like the night before. You were on your side watching.

“You know you can sleep under the covers. I won't mind,” especially because you won't do anything. You add mentally because if Jason wanted something sexual from you, he would’ve taken it last night when you were barely conscious of what was happening around you. You want him to be comfortable while you keep him trapped in your home.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Sweetheart.” He crosses his arms as he settles on his back against his pillow. You think he almost looks like a mummy.

“Jason,” your voice is stern in a way he isn’t used to, “get under the covers.” Not a question, not an offer, but a demand. He glances over at you and finds a serious look on your face, no room for argument. It makes him smile. You had seemed out of it still throughout the day, but he was happy to see some notion of your old self showing. Your eyebrows lift like this is some challenge and who is Jason to say no to that? He shuffles under your covers, worrying briefly if he’s a blanket hog, or a bed hog simply because of his size. You don’t seem worried about it all as you curl against him like you had the night before, holding his arm and pressing your cheek against his shoulder.

Then you start talking. You complained momentarily that you should have brushed your teeth before you had gotten into bed and apologized if it smelled like the Chinese you had ordered for dinner. Then you complained that you hadn’t washed your face and done your skincare. Jason was about to offer to do it for you, but you kept going. You rambled on about the Gotham weather and how it sometimes felt bone-chillingly cold even in summer, and you thought maybe Gotham was cursed or haunted. You started talking about Jason, about how pleased you were that he liked romance movies and musicals. You would have to show him La La Land, even though that movie made you cry every time. You didn’t say why it had made you cry but you cried when you had finished The Notebook earlier in the evening, so he didn’t question it. Instead, you followed a tangent about how La La Land was a tragedy but not like Romeo and Juliet. Then you followed a tangent about Shakespeare.

The rest of the evening was like that. You would follow a random line of thought that would form into another and another. Your voice stayed soft, only speeding up and getting just a little louder if there was something that excited you before toning back down again. You would pause for a moment before going back to a thought you had left unfinished. He wondered if you were blocking, trying not to sleep out of fear of what you might find. He knew that feeling, woken up by nightmares of that stupid clown and dirt engulfing his lungs. If this gave you peace of mind, then it gave him some peace of mind. He liked your voice. The cadence of it, the way you lilted some words, and how some of them slurred as you got drowsier and drowsier. Soon enough, your pauses became longer until you stopped mid-sentence. He waited, thinking you would start back up again but after a while, you didn’t.

He glanced down at where your face was pressed to his shoulder. At some point, your hand had moved from curled around his forearm to lacing it with his hand, he can feel your fingers twitch as you sleep. Your features were relaxed, lips parted slightly, soft even breaths escaping you. He leans over and presses a too long kiss to the crown of your head; your hand tightens subconsciously in his own. Jason decides to be selfish, just for tonight. He turns on his side to face you, carefully slipping your head from his shoulder to your pillow. He pulls the covers up and over both of your shoulders. His hand slides to your back and pulls you close. His other hand lightly pressing your face to his neck and he just holds you. A sigh escapes you and your arm slithers over his own waist, hugging in your sleep. Your warmth bleeds into Jason in a way he’s not used to.

You were right about Gotham’s perpetual cold, like a ghost breathing down your neck. But here, holding you like this, the cold didn’t exist. Only warmth and deep breaths do. For the first time in years, Jason’s body genuinely relaxes. Every alarm, trained into him by Bruce, the league, and his own self-preservation, shuts off. He just focuses on your breathing. In and out, in and out, steady. He presses another kiss on your head and makes an internal promise. He would tell you the truth, sooner rather than later. He’d tell you everything, about Red Hood, about his feelings for you, even if it meant you would hate him. He was going to tell you but first, he’d wait for you to get back on your feet, back into a normal rhythm of life. With that thought and your body closed, Jason closes his eyes and falls asleep. Nightmares don’t haunt him, only you.

Jason slept the hardest he had ever slept before. You woke up before him and he didn’t even know it. You’d like to say that you got up and piddled around your apartment, but that would be a lie. When you woke up, you were still pressed against Jason. You had somehow wrapped yourself around him like a deranged koala, or a squid. One arm haphazardly tucked under his head and wrapped around his neck, shoulder aching from the placement. Your other arm was wrapped around his waist, a leg thrown over his hips. You were quick to pull your leg back, feeling it was a little promiscuous should he wake. You take the opportunity to stare at him, closer than you usually would.

For the first time since you’d known Jason his skin was smoothed over, no worried wrinkles. He was relaxed and you hadn’t realized how wound up he usually looked until this moment. Usually, he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world, and you don’t know why or what caused it. You just know that it lightens when you can get him to laugh or talk about something he enjoys. Once you had asked Steph about it, sitting at her table one slow afternoon. She said it wasn’t her story to share but that there was some serious trauma along with a mountain of familial issues that didn’t help. You understood that having been there yourself. It's why you moved to Gotham in the first place. You never asked Jason about it because he never asked you what you were doing in Gotham. Your mind comes back to keep staring at him.

You get distracted staring at his lips longer than you’d like to admit, following the soft curve and pout there. Your thumb gently swipes over the small scar there absentmindedly, your hand already on his face without you realizing it. You feel a puff of air against your thumb, and you freeze as Jason’s forehead crinkles for a moment before relaxing again. God, you were such a loser. Staring at him while he slept, touching his lips. You needed to get a grip, and it was not going to happen in this bed. You take your time to peel out of his hold, his grip on you stronger than you anticipated. You pause once your feet are on the ground, letting him reorient himself until he stops moving. Bodily functions are taken care of in the bathroom, and you move to the kitchen starting the kettle on the stove for some tea. You stand there staring at the kettle while you wait, ignoring the headache forming behind your eyes.

A surge of upset overtakes you as you set two mugs on the counter with your usual tea. With a moment alone, with your tea, you think about Red Hood. You know it's dumb, but you still feel right to be mad at him. Between the kidnapping, which was his fault, and his abandonment, you understand now that he couldn’t have stayed, you think that anger is valid. But now, two days later, he hadn’t checked on you at least. You know Jason had been here but there was no note or any sign that he had been on your fire escape. You’ll admit to waking up, sneaking out of bed, and standing by the window waiting. It wasn’t for long, ten minutes, because you could cold without the space heater sleeping in your bed. He never showed himself.  You thought he cared but now you were questioning everything about your strange friendship with the vigilante.

“Tea?” a deep voice says. Your entire body flinches and for a brief moment you wonder if you’d summoned Red Hood by thinking about him but when you turn, you find Jason with a guilty look on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You press your hand to your chest, trying to make your heart slow down.

“You're so quiet.” You say with a deep breath. You know you were kind of lost in thought but you heard the usual sounds of your apartment easily. The creaking of the fire escape, the whistle of air from the window that’s not sealed right, and the whine of the ceiling fan. You hadn’t heard Jason moving at all.

“Part of the job.” He says with a shrug. You nod even though that doesn’t really make sense. What do security systems have to do with being quiet? The kettle starts to whistle. You turn off the heat and decide to ignore your usual tea habit for some hot chocolate. You put the box back into the cabinet and swap it for the box of hot chocolate. Once the hot chocolate is made you bring the mugs to the island. Jason is giving you a curious look.

“Oh, I’m sorry I should’ve asked if you want tea instead.” You say guiltily. He shakes his head.

“It’s okay, I like hot chocolate.” He takes the mug. He doesn’t drink it just yet only looks at you in that analyzing way.

“Why do you do that?” you ask, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Do what?” he responds confused.

“Look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Jason,” you say sternly. You think he knows exactly what you're talking about it. He innocently shrugs and picks up the mug. You see the start of a smirk as he brings the mug to his lips. You roll your eyes.

“Whatever.” You round the island to look at the papers left on your dining table, and you hear Jason shift in his seat.

“Why do you have a cup of water on your window seal?” He questions. Your brows for furrow and you look up to see the cup he’s talking about. The real reason you had crawled out of bed in the middle of the night was because you were thirsty. You’d stood by the window while you sipped on it.

“I was thirsty in the middle of the night.” You leave it at that. You hear him move and then see him out of the corner of your eye moving towards the window. He pauses and looks at your window locks for a minute before picking up the glass.

“You should’ve woken me up I would have gotten it for you.” He walks past you taking it to the kitchen.

“I’m not helpless you know.” Honestly, in your half-asleep state, you had forgotten Jason was there until you were climbing back into bed, snuggling up against him.  He’s standing next to you again when he speaks next, voice soft.

“I know you’re not, but it doesn't hurt to let someone take care of you.”

You don’t look up from you skimming of the papers, but you feel a warmth in your chest.

“Next time I need a glass of water and you’re in my bed; I’ll be sure to wake you.” You say with a hint of a smile.

Jason's heart does a little jump at your statement. He knows you're being facetious about it but the idea that you would let him stay in your bed again… It’s a nice thought, especially if it is under different circumstances. You look up from your skimming and meet his eye with a small smile.  You look over his face.

“You should go home.” You say softly. Jason's internal jumping falls to the ground. So, you don’t want him here?  You must see the confusion on his face because you put down papers you were reading to hold his face. You tip his head this way and that as your thumb swipes just above his jawline.

“You're growing a beard,” you finally say, “Not that I think it would be a bad look for you, I just assume you don’t like it.”  Jason's own hand comes to feel at his skin. You were right, a coarse stubble where his hand is. Jason wants to laugh at your statement. The few times he hadn’t shaved consistently, usually on a long mission with the outlaws, his alleged beard would grow out patchy and uneven. Not a good look like you apparently think. He had complained about it one time to Bruce (it was a weird family bonding activity that was unrelated to the conversation) and Bruce had said it was because Jason was still young, that in a few years it would even out. Jason feels your hands leave his face and he tamps down the urge to pull them back. Your smile sweetly at him making it easier to reign himself in.

“I can’t keep you hostage forever.” You add. Jason does laugh at that; two days is hardly forever. You could keep him for a month and he wouldn’t complain.

“Are you sure?” he asks, and you roll your eyes at him. He hadn’t asked how you were feeling today but he got the feeling you might kick him if he did. You seem to be in higher spirits but your apparent venture in the middle of the night worried him. The window was unlocked, and it had to be because of you. He had checked every lock in your apartment before he let you drag him to your room the night before. The window had been locked. Nothing was out of place in the apartment, so not a break-in. Red Hood was him and he was already there, so that wasn’t it either. You were the only option left. He didn’t tell you that though.

“You know, I have lived my entire life without you. I think I’ll be fine for a couple of days. Besides, you’ve been wearing the same clothes for two days.” He glances at his current apparel. You had good reason to be concerned about that. They were part of his Red Hood suit and he’s thankful you hadn’t made a connection yet. Black cargo pants and a black T-shirt. His armor and guns dropped at the garage he got the car from. His clothes weren’t exactly clean when he picked you up at the warehouse, already sweaty from a few hours of patrol. And now two days later, yea, he should go home.

“Fine, if you're kicking me out, I’ll leave.” You blink at him in disbelief, and a smirk works its way onto his lips.

“I am not kicking you out.” You say defiantly. Jason rolls his tongue between his teeth to keep from laughing. He puts his hands up in defense.

“Okay, okay, you’re not kicking me out, but I leave you alone. You let me know if you need anything, anything at all, okay?” he says. Your eyes widen and you shake your head.

“No, not yet.”

“What?”

“Stay til lunch” you pause, eye imploring, “Please.” Jason understands now.

“You don’t have to say please, sweetheart. I’ll stay for lunch.” You seem pleased with his response, nodding with a contented smile. The morning proceeds with you cajoling him into another movie and by noon you were both quietly eating leftover Chinese from the night before.

“You’ll call me if you need something, right?” Jason asks around some sweet and sour chicken. You’re sitting at the island together, your ankle hooked around his.

“You know, I think you’d make a great dad.” You say, while picking through your food for the perfect broccoli. Your statement throws Jason off-kilter and must show on his face because when you look up you laugh at him.

“I will let you know if I need anything, please don’t worry about me. I get the feeling it might drive you crazy.” Jason’s mind is still running through what you meant by your previous statement. A great dad? Was there a purpose in that statement? Were you thinking about him like that? He checks back in registering what you just said.

“You're right about that.” Which is why he already had a plan ready for when he left your apartment. He’s positive that the only reason you’re asking him to leave is because you feel guilty and that you're still not ready to be alone. So, he was going to make sure you weren’t alone. The rest of lunch is spent quietly, feet randomly kicking at each other under the island. He attempts to wash the silverware you’d used but you stopped him, threatening to stab him with your fork. You drop the fork before he can concede in the battle of the dishes. A haunted look crosses your face for just a second before you hide it with a smile and start to shuffle him out your door.

Jason knew that look in an instant, he did not want to leave you alone for any amount of time. But he didn’t want you to feel bad about keeping him here. You help him collect his things which amounted to just his phone. You do a quick scan of the hooks by your door, clearly searching for a coat he hadn’t worn when he picked you up. A worried crease shows between your brows when your eyes settle on the Red Hood jacket next to the shock blanket. You glance between Jason and the jacket and just for a second he wonders if you know. You’re smart, he wouldn't be surprised if you did, but then you shake your head and pull him into a hug.

He’s a little startled but not as much as he would have been last week. The past two days of constantly touching each other in some manner made it easier for him to relax in your touch. His arms easily circle around your shoulders as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head without thinking. A pleased hum escapes you and you squeeze him a little tighter. You pull away just enough to see his face.

“Thank you for everything, Jason, really.” He nods and watches your eyes; you look like you’re struggling with something, and he waits to see if you’ll talk about it. After a few seconds of nothing, his hands moves. One squeezes at your shoulder and the other tucks some hair behind your ear, hand resting on your cheek. You lean into it just slightly.

“If you need anything-” he starts, and you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“I’ll call you. Stop worrying about me and go take care of yourself.” you pull out his hold and all he wants to do is drag you back. He stares at you, and you give him an insistent look back.

“I don’t want to kick you out, but I will if I have to.” You say with a dramatic huff. Jason laughs at the picture that conjures.

“Alright, I’m gone,” he unlocks your door and with one foot out he turns back and adds, “but if you need-”

“Get out of my apartment!” You demand with a giggled screech. He grins at you and finally shuts the door. He waits, listening for you to lock it. Once you had he heads down the hallway to the elevator, pulling out his phone. In the elevator, he hits Steph’s contact. It rings for a few seconds and then loud voice rings through the speaker.

“Is she bored of you yet? I wanna see her.” Jason pulls the phone away from his ear with a wince. He doesn’t answer her question.

“I need you to come stay with her.”

“So, she is bored of you.” She exclaims

“Stephanie”

“Jason”

He huffs, “Please”

The line is silent for a minute and Jason wonders if the call dropped in the elevator when the doors slide open, and he steps out.

“You’re really worried about her, aren’t you?” she asks, quieter than normal. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation.

“Stephanie, will you come stay with her? She doesn’t need to be alone.”

“Does she know you’re asking?” Jason sighs already tired of this back and forth as he pulls a ticket off of the parked borrowed car. (Bruce’s Problem)

“No, and she’s not going to find out I asked.” He tells her.

“I’m going to bring Cass with me.”

“Steph” Jason grumbles as he slides into the car.

“It would be weird if it was just me showing up at her apartment, trust me. It’ll be a girl's night.”

Jason sighs again, “Just promise to take care of her?”

“Promise. This going to be so much fun!” Steph must end the call cause the line goes dead. Jason wonders for a moment if this is a good idea, but he doesn’t have a lot of options and you didn’t need to be alone.

Additional note: Shout out to the lovely person that talked about Jason actually getting good sleep. I loved it and I think its going to become a reoccurring thing for both of them. The next chapter is all Steph and Cass and some conversations about the family our girl has not had with Jason. She is going to basically be adopted into the family, it’ll be great. Thank you for reading. Please comment!! The good, the bad, and the ugly are all welcomed.

Tag List: @little-miss-naill, @nikilolo787, @joonunivrs, @uzxotic, @qardasngan, @stormz369,  @g4bbi3xx, @iwatobiswimbros, @the-lonely-flute, @elz-xo, @gone-batty-fics, @princessesgarden, @notfckincreative, @love-theangel, @feyres-fireheart, @penguimlover23, @herodedicatedblog

[gold-onthe-inside]

blind date

who? spencer reid (s8) x blake!reader summary: you finally give into your godmother's insistence on going on a date with her colleague, if only to get her off your back, and find yourself having to break the heart of someone who could have been the love of your life. content warnings: not a happy ending (i warned you, you don't get to yell at me), reader is blake's goddaughter and a therapist. word count: 2.1k

You let out a slow breath before entering the restaurant, smoothing down your dress, still second-guessing your outfit - a purple dress matched with a dark velvet jacket and a black purse with a gold chain belt - as if you hadn’t spent your day looking up what women in their 30s wore on first dates. Not like it matters, you told yourself. You’d get through the date, politely tell the guy that he was great but you weren’t interested, and hopefully be home by 10pm. You turn your gaze to the maitre’d, telling him the table was under Reid’s name.

You had told yourself on the way that you couldn’t hold it against him if he was late — you still remember the coffee meetings your own godmother never turned up to — but it turned out he was earlier than you. Where you showed up to everything ten minutes in advance, he showed up twenty-five minutes.

You saw him first, looking into the silver ware and flattening down his hair and adjusting his tie, clearly nervous, looking up when he heard you thank the maitre’d. Spencer almost stumbled over himself as he stood up to pull your chair out for you and you feel an overwhelming urge to reassure him. “H-Hi,” he said, matching your awkward smile. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks,” you said softly, taking the seat and watching him take his, his hand splayed against his chest to keep his tie back. “You’re taller than I thought you’d be.”

His laugh is nervous, God help him, and he corrects the displaced silverware so they align perfectly before he looked at you again. “I, uh, I get that a lot.”

“Go on a lot of blind dates then?” you asked, sipping the water within reach, and you can see panic flash across his face.

“No! I mean, I’ve-I’ve been on dates before. Just um—” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I meant I get the-the height thing, quite a bit. Not that there’s been a lot—”

“Breathe, Spencer,” you feel compelled to say as his face flushes. You’d meant to tease, not give the man a heart attack.

“Sorry,” he murmured, trying to get a grip on himself. God, how did Derek do this? “Um… Blake, sorry, Alex, told me that you’re a therapist,” he said, focusing on something concrete.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered, not sure how much information you wanted to tell him. Though, to be fair, he was a federal agent. He could have it found out anyway. “I work at a clinic in Georgetown,” you said, folding your hands in front of you and overthinking whether you should be crossing your legs or not. This was usually the point where the guy would ask if you could read his mind, or attempt to educate you on how mental health was a sham and everyone just needs to get some exercise, and that would be your cue to fake an emergency exit. Maybe you’d get home in time to watch some decent TV.

“Is it hard?” he asked, taking a sip of water before he leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with genuine interest. It was endearing, and surprising.

“It can be,” you answered, leaning in slightly. “Some days you get really, really good sessions, you know? And other days it’s…”

“Hell?” he offered and you let out a small huff.

“Try having a seven year old drawing on furniture with chalk,” you told him, watching him wince.

“I, uh… have a confession,” he said, leaning even closer, his voice a dramatic whisper. “I did that as a kid.”

"Understimulated in class, huh?" you asked, smiling at him a little more.

“A lot,” he admitted. “I learned to read very young, and… well, then everyone wanted me to read, and it wasn’t as fun anymore, you know?”

“Mm,” you say in agreement, but before you continue, the waiter comes, and you both order a glass of wine, and appetizers to split. “So, you must be dealing with a lot worse than pre-pubescent vandalism, right?” you asked, pulling apart the fried mozzarella balls with delicate precision, and you watch him think for a moment.

“I’m just trying to decide if the last case we worked would be preferable to handling a toddler, and I honestly think I’d prefer the serial killer,” he said thoughtfully and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you.

"Yeah, no, I don't blame you," you replied, sipping your wine.

“What about you?” he asked between bites. “Did you know you wanted to be a psychologist from day one?”

"Uh... No, I actually thought I would go into linguistics, like Alex, but somewhere around my first year into undergrad, I realised that psychology was my calling," you said.

“What changed your mind?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and leaning his elbow on the table. You liked the way he gave you his full attention; his eyes hadn’t strayed from you since you’d gotten there.

“Uh, we used to have to do these case studies and we’d do these role plays where everyone had a presenting concern to work with, and I used to get this… high whenever I’d figured the client out. Like that moment where everything just… clicks into place. And I got addicted to it,” you said, your words and love for your job captivating.

“I know exactly what you mean,” he said, his smile widening. “I’m sure Alex’s told you that I have an… impressive memory. The cases we work on-the ones they don’t put in our files on purpose-I remember every single piece of information. It’s like the details don’t leave me. So when we finally catch the unsubs, the-the serial killers…” His voice lowers, leaning further over the table to you and he’s so close, you can almost smell his cologne. “That’s when it clicks.”

You stared at him for a beat, like everything else in the world had gone still, his soft hazel eyes looking affectionately into yours, and then the waiter comes over and the bubble between you two pops, springing apart like two teenagers being walked in on. You can see the flush come over his skin, just as the waiter places his plates in front of him, and focus on ordering your dinner, Spencer agreeing to whatever you ordered.

“So,” you started as the waiter left, and you could see the hint of a smile cross his lips. “Spencer, what do you do for fun?”

He hums a little, thinking. “I read, obviously, and I play poker, although I think half the team suspects I’m counting cards.” He leans forward. “Don't tell them, but I am.”

“You can count cards?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

He tilts his head to the side, and he looks like some kind of adorable dog, and your cheeks flush a little darker. “Is it that surprising?” Spencer asks. “I mean, if you know the math, it’s-“ He seems to stumble a little, like he’s worried he’ll bore you with the explanation.

“Keep going,” you prompt him, interested.

“I mean, it’s not foolproof,” he starts, the words flowing quickly from him. “You can’t really predict probability with any certainty. It’s just… really good guessing.” He smiles proudly. “I’m actually banned from a few casinos in Vegas.”

You sipped your wine, shaking your head. "You've gotta teach me how, cause I swear, Alex beats me every time."

“You play poker?” Spencer asked, and you nodded, taking another sip of wine. “Of course, you do,” he added, smiling. “You’re perfect,” he blurted, then started, his face flushing a deep colour.

You could fall in love with this man if you let yourself, and it’s a scary thought. Alex hadn’t been kidding when she said that Spencer was perfect for you. Then why was there this horrible pit in your stomach, like an anvil hovering over you?

The rest of the dinner went perfectly, Spencer pulling out your chair for you as you both prepared to leave. The air was crisp, just a little chilly — spring wasn’t quite ready to fully come out of hiding yet. There was a certain energy between you both; a sense of hope you had long forgotten, and as he walked you to your car, you couldn’t stop yourself from looking up and meeting his eyes.

You'd felt this way before... four years ago when you met the man you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, and suddenly, the idea of going through that again... It scared the living daylights out of you. "This was really nice," you managed, looking at him.

“It was,” he agreed, his hands shoving into his pockets. “I’d like to see you again.” He said it casually, but his eyes betrayed him, like he was afraid you were going to refuse.

You swallowed, reminding yourself to take a breath. "Spencer, you're... really great. I mean, seriously, any girl would be lucky to go out with you," you said slowly. "But if I'm honest... I only came out tonight to get Alex off my back."

You can see the way it crushes him; the light in his eyes dimming. His shoulders drop and his head lowers, and you feel a wave of guilt overcome you, but your feet stay rooted to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but you know his words are meant more for his own failings than for you - you can see it in his body language, how he’s withdrawing into himself. What you expect is for him to walk away; instead, he looks back up at you, and you feel your heart break as your eyes meet his pained ones.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," you said softly. "I should never have..." You took a sharp breath. "I like you, Spencer. A lot, probably more than I'm ready for. But I just got out of a long-term relationship. I'm not ready to jump into another one, especially with someone who... who deserves a lot more."

“I-I don’t mind taking things slow,” he said, his voice soft as his eyes searched your face, and you knew he was telling you the truth. But he doesn’t deserve to be some kind of… emotional training wheels for you, as you work through a bad breakup. He deserves more than you’ve got to offer.

"Of course you don't," you said, with a tinge of fondness. "You're perfect."

"I think I'm far from perfect," he says, with a self-deprecating grin. "But I'd be happy to be, um... whatever it is you're ready for."

You don't want to say it, but he's really, really, really hard to say 'No' to, and the fact he was so genuine in wanting to be around you made your heart clench. You wanted to say 'yes' so desperately.

Maybe you should say 'yes'. Just to see what happens.

"It's a bad idea," you said reluctantly, your resolve crumbling.

"But it might be just what you need," Spencer said, and he's right - you hate it but you can feel the way he's pulling you in. The way those hazel eyes hold you; the way you just want to spend more time with him.

A mistake, you think to yourself, just as his hand slides down, his fingers slotting with yours. A glorious mistake.

"I don't want to do that to you," you murmured, even though all you wanted to do was kiss him and take him home and ruin him.

"Please," he murmured, stepping just a little closer, as if you had any resolve left at this point. "I'm a big boy. I can make that decision for myself."

The way he stepped so close to you made your skin tingle, and something deep within you tightened, and you were sure that Spencer could see it in your eyes. Your free hand lifted, sliding along his cheek. "I can't," you said, thumb gliding against his cheekbone. "I'm sorry."

Spencer stepped back, and you watch the way his face falls, your hand falling away to your side, but he nods, and the part of you that wasn't ready for this, was happy you'd made that decision. That he would stay safe and away from you - but then he leaned down, and before you can process what it was, he presses a warm kiss to your cheek. "I had a really nice time, tonight," Spencer murmured, and you can hear the sound of his footsteps leave before you can get your mouth to work again.

"Me too," you murmured into the air, sinking against your car, wondering if you'd just made the biggest mistake of your life, letting him slip through your fingers.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 22

Hey guys!! We are back with the next chapter of the lovely fic! Just two more chapters to go! Can you believe it?

In this one we have two of my *favorite moments in this fic as Dustin and Mike get to have their own special days just like the others.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

~

Steve was kept busy over the next couple of weeks hauling the kids around to the connections Chrissy had set up for them. Max skating with Steve C., Will at the Children’s Museum, Erica and her horses, Ellie at a fashion show in Indy. Dustin and Mike were talking about the concert for weeks.

Steve had felt bad that Mike and Dustin hadn’t had their own experiences when he stumbled on the perfect solution.

He picked up Dustin from school.

Dustin slid into the front seat of Steve’s Sunbird. “Ma said you were planning to take me somewhere?”

“Yep!” Steve said, popping the P. “I found this thing in the newspaper today talking about it and I knew it would be right up your alley.”

Dustin cocked his head to the side, considering that. “But, I’m guessing that you’re not going to tell me. Just like you did with Lucas?”

“Ding, ding, ding!” Steve said brightly. “You win! Of course I’m not telling you jack, dude. It wouldn’t be much of surprise if I did.”

He crossed his arms and pouted. “Ma wouldn’t tell me anything either. Only that I would love it.”

“I honestly don’t know why you don’t like surprises,” Steve said, shaking his head as they hit the freeway. “As long they’re not jump scares or surprise parties, surprises are meant to be fun.”

Dustin slumped even further in the seat. “My dad was on his way to surprise me at school to take me out for ice cream because I had won some award in science and he had a heart attack. He didn’t even make it the hospital before he was gone.”

Steve pulled over to the shoulder and turned off the car. “I’m sorry, Dusty. I didn’t know that, but your mom should have. Do you really want me to tell where we’re going? Because I will.”

Dustin opened his mouth to answer but closed it with a frown as he really thought about it. “No. But I’m going to be grumpy about it anyway.”

Steve let out a small chuckle and got them back on the road.

Soon enough they were pulling into a large convention center with huge banner declaring it to The Aerospace and Exploration Expo with special guest speaker: Buzz Aldrin.

Dustin had stopped halfway out of the car to stare at the sign in wonder. He turned to Steve slowly as Steve got out of the car and slammed his door.

“Holy shit,” Dustin breathed. “Buzz Aldrin. Do you know who that is?”

Steve rolled his eyes as he walked around the car. “Do I know who one of the two men who landed on the moon is? No.”

Dustin rolled his eyes back at him. “Come on, everyone knows Neil Armstrong, but not everyone knows Buzz Aldrin.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a huff. “Someone should ask Michael Collins how he feels about that.”

Dustin’s jaw dropped and then he hurried to catch up to Steve. “Holy shit! How did you know who that is?”

Steve just kept walking to the Will Call, not bothering to answer the question. He was old enough to remember watching the moon landing on the TV with his parents. Barely, but he did. It was his earliest memory; sitting on his mom’s lap as Neil Armstrong stepped onto the lunar surface. Every kid was fascinated by the whole thing and he was no exception.

“Welcome,” the teller said with that false cheer perfected by every teenage forced to work these types of jobs.

“Yeah, hi,” Steve said, putting on the charm. “I have two VIP tickets to the Expo. Under Harrington, Steve.”

She pulled it up on her computer. “Yes, I see it here. May I see your ID please?”

Steve handed over the ID and within moments, he had his ID and passes in hand. He handed one to Dustin.

“You ready for this?” he asked with the biggest smile on his face.

Dustin grinned back. “Hell yeah!”

They walked through the all the exhibits, stopped and talked to the different sellers, and even geeked out at the NASA booth. They tried space food and liked the ice cream, not so much anything else. But they had fun trying it.

Then it was time for the main event and because Steve had bought VIP tickets they were let in a half hour early so they were able to nab a couple of the best seats in the auditorium. Beside him, Dustin vibrated with excitement.

Then Buzz stepped out on that stage and the audience erupted into cheers. He waved at the crowd with a huge smile on his face.

The talk he gave was electric and exciting, filling both of their heads with new information. Dustin was shocked to learn that the earliest astronauts weren’t scientists, but test pilots. Jockies. Steve learned about the lucky vest the mission control commander had.

By the time they left the convention center both boys were talking a mile a minute about everything they saw. Dustin had even gotten an autograph from Buzz.

“Thanks for doing this for me,” Dustin said as they pulled up to his house. “You didn’t have to. I loved the private concert with Corroded Coffin. Like how many kids can say that they’ve been to one, you know?”

Steve smiled at him. “I know, but I wanted to do something special for you and Mike, too. Mike’s a little harder to find that moment for, you know?”

Dustin pursed his lips as he thought for a moment. “A day with Eddie. Just him and Eddie.”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Like Mike really looks up to Eddie,” Dustin explained. “Why don’t they hang out for a day? Eddie can show him his guitars, how he writes his songs, taking him to all his favorite places in Hawkins. It’ll be like one of those contests where the person gets to spend the day with the band.”

Steve rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Would Mike want to hang out with the whole band or just Eddie do you think?”

Dustin’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, dude. The whole band for sure. He would completely flip out.”

Steve grinned. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Dustin gave him a hug and gathered up all of his loot to go inside.

~

“Thanks for agreeing to this,” Steve said, standing really close to Eddie as they waited for Casey to come back with Steve’s car. “You didn’t have to.”

“Nah,” Eddie said with that dimpled grin. “You were right about Dustin and Mike needing to experience something fun on their own just like everyone else did. And this has got to be the easiest one.”

“Chrissy said that the guys are already at the studio waiting for you both,” Steve murmured, “so call her when you get there and she’ll send over food.”

Eddie tucked a loose hair behind Steve’s ear. “Roger that, little Canary. Are you sure you don’t want to come with?”

Steve shook his head. “I think he’s still bitter about me briefly dating his older sister before I realized I was gay. Like I was supposed to figure out that shit before I dated her or whatever. So I would rather this just be the band and him so he can’t say I was in the way or whatever.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie said softly. “But I’m still happy to do this for him, for you.”

Steve looked up at him through his lashes and his breath caught in his throat. Eddie was so close. Steve ran his tongue slowly over his lips to wet them, his mouth suddenly dry.

Then the roar of the Sunbird and its slowing to stop made them aware of their surroundings. Steve was forced to take a step back.

“I’ll see you soon,” he murmured. “When I get back with Mike.”

Eddie pursed his lips to hide the grin that was threatening to break free. “Yep!”

Steve got into his car and Casey leaned into the open window. “I’ll tell you what, Harrington. You ask Eddie out and I’ll ask out Abby. Deal?”

He stuck out his hand.

Steve looked back at the broad smile that had slipped through Eddie’s facade then back at Casey. He shook his hand. “Deal.”

Casey stepped back and tapped the hood of the car to say he was far enough out of the way. Steve pulled out of the parking lot leaving Casey standing across the driveway from Eddie.

Eddie crossed his arms and wagged his eyebrows. “Best get to it, big boy. Abby’s awaiting.”

Casey nodded once and as he walked past Eddie he slammed the ridiculous hat into Eddie’s chest.

“Hold that for me,” he said. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Eddie burst out laughing.

~

Mike was sitting on his porch, his arms crossed over his chest when Steve rolled up to the Wheeler house.

“You do realize that your face is going to freeze that way some day, right?” he said, getting out of the car.

“My mom told me to get out of the house because I was bothering her.”

Steve walked up to him and leaned over so that they were eye to eye. “She wouldn’t tell you what we were doing today, huh?”

Mike nodded.

“Well,” Steve said a smile slowly drawing in on his face, “I’d tell ya, but then I’d hafta kill ya.”

Mike huffed, a small smile fighting its way to his lips. “Yeah, come on. Let’s get this over with.”

Steve burst out laughing. He shook his head and led the way to the car.

“I have to admit,” Mike said as he slid into the passenger seat, “this car is pretty sick, dude.”

“I miss my Bimmer,” Steve said as he pulled away from the curb, “but I can’t deny what an absolute beauty this car is.”

“Why?” Mike asked with a sneer. “They’re both rich people cars, what’s the difference?”

“Difference, Michael,” Steve said sarcastically, “is that I picked out the BMW. She was my first car and I chose her. All the features even down to the color of the seats. But I also realize that everyone in town knows that’s my car. Most people think I’ve left town because it hasn’t been seen in awhile. So I deal with it.”

Mike nodded appreciatively. “I can get that. This is something someone chose for you, while the Bimmer is something you chose for yourself.”

“Right in one.”

They pulled into an abandoned parking lot and Steve got out. When Mike didn’t he tapped on the roof.

“Come on,” he huffed. “Get out. You’re going to want to see this.”

Mike reluctantly got out of the car, just in time to see a sleek, black Jaguar XJS pull into the lot. It slid to a stop in the parking space in front of Steve’s Sunbird.

“Am I being kidnapped?” Mike asked, his eyes wide with worry.

“Only if he doesn’t return you to your mother before your bed time,” Steve said with a giggle and shake of his head.

Then out stepped Eddie Munson in tight leather pants, combat boots, and ripped Megadeath t-shirt under his black leather jacket.

“He’s all yours,” Steve told Eddie. “Karen said not too late, but that he doesn’t have a curfew.”

Mike stared at Eddie and then at Steve, mouth wide open. “What is happening right now?”

“Hey, Mikey!” Eddie said cheerfully. “You see, Steve got to thinkin’ that since you and Dusty didn’t get to have your own experiences like the rest of your friends, so he decided that he would do something special for each of you. Dusty got NASA and Buzz Aldrin, and you get a day with me and the Corroded Coffin boys.”

Mike pinched himself and then pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket. “Nope. Not dreaming. Holy shit.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “What was with the paper? I know about the pinching to see if you’d wake up, but the paper is new.”

“According to Harry Houdini if you can read something clearly, you can’t be dreaming,” Mike explained with a half shrug. “Because in dreams the words are blurry and obscured.”

“Huh,” Eddie said. “Neat.”

“You two have fun!” Steve said with a grin.

Mike’s head whipped around so fast. “You aren’t coming with?”

Steve pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Nope. This is all you and the band. Don’t run them ragged too much. They’re old now.”

“Hey!” Eddie protested. “I’m not even thirty yet, asshole!”

He burst out laughing and then gave him a dorky little finger wave, before slipping back into the Sunbird.

Eddie rubbed his hands together gleefully. “You ready for this Mike Wheeler?”

Mike grinned back. “Hell yeah!”

~

*The part with Michael Collins and Mike getting kidnapped.

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @wheneverfeasible @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss @blondie1006

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @themoonagainstmers @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt @just-a-tiny-void

8- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

9- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @sadisticaltarts @steddieislife

10- @fearieshadow @kultiras @thesecondfate @tartarusknight @genderless-spoon

[letmereedusyou]

i'm not yours - part 10

summary: Daryl and you are friends. He dated Leah. You told him you loved him and things fell apart, but you returned to being friends, right?

Aaron is throwing a birthday party in the mess hall, and Daryl asks Y/N to go for a supply run with her. The party is going great until certain someone decides to ruin it.

words: 3.5k

warnings: allusions to sexual activities, swearing

A/N: Hello, muffins! I've had a week of an absolute writer's block! I honestly could not write a singular sentence without hating it! 😫 But here I am, with the next part! Enjoy!

Read previous part: part 9

"Aaron, what the hell is all this?" you ask, stepping into the mess hall for breakfast the next day.

After the conversation last night, you spent most of the evening trying to convince Daryl that you are well enough to get out of the house and start living your normal life again. You showed him the bruises and even took a few deeper breaths to prove a point. He reluctantly agreed, even though his face said, "no way in hell, you're not ready". Reminding him about your resilience and perseverance, you ruffled his hair a little, which made him grumble and scoff, but his smirk told you he secretly enjoyed that.

Stepping closer to the boxes on the table, you looked inside and saw a lot of different decorations. There were shiny, silvery and gold chains that looked like Christmas tree decor, some colourful balloons and even some crazy string. You smile seeing everything and then look up to Aaron who stepped closer to you.

"It's for my birthday party tonight," he explained quickly and grinned ear to ear.

"Your birthday is today?" your eyebrows shoot up. You don't even remember when was the last time you celebrated your birthday. Mostly because it’s hard to track days and years without a proper calendar.

"Well, somewhere this time of the year. And here," he says, and picks up a folded card from the table and hands it to you. It was a handwritten invitation, beautiful cursive letters on the white, sturdy piece of card.

"Thanks," you smile, touching the letters. "This is amazing."

"I've got Eric to thank for that," he chuckled.

You nod understandingly. Eric was a teacher in the past life, so maybe he picked up the cursive writing from that? Although, all the teachers at your school had a terrible writing. Perhaps, it was a hobby, or he learnt it so he can create stunning Valentine's cards for Aaron. The thought made you smile — the thought of someone loving another person so much they pick up a new hobby or a skill to make them happier was quite endearing.

"Looking forward to it," you say to Aaron, patting his shoulder lightly and swinging the card in front of you.

You go to get some food from the buffet counter and then sit down at one of the tables that weren’t cluttered with boxes. You eat it quickly, so you don't get in a way of Aaron decorating, even though there were multiple people all over the place, taking their sweet time. Somehow, though, he was weaving through the crowd and making it work. Impressive. 

Your tray hits the pile of dirty ones in the corner, and then you walk out, taking a walk to the lake.

The day was cloudy and cold, so you wrap your jacket around you a little tighter, standing on the edge of the water, looking at the reflections of the sky slowly moving. Bugs and frogs around it, creating ripples in the water, distorting the image. It was kind of peaceful and quiet. The mornings in Alexandria were your favourite. Most people were still sleeping, only a few were rushing around to change the shifts on lookout tower or going on supply runs. From where you were standing, you could see Deanna already working in the garden, picking off weeds from the ground.

You stay around for a little while, just enjoying the peace, before a hand was placed on your shoulder. It made you jump and turn around quickly, your hands curling into fists at your sides. You were faced with Daryl. He quickly removed his hand and put it up in a defensive pose.

"Coming in peace," he says and puts hands down to his sides. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I have PTSD now," you huff a laugh and cross your arms on your chest. It was only a half joke. You knew that it was true - your mind turned into a fight or flight mode with unexpected touches. "You?"

He nods before speaking. "I have an offer."

"Listening," you say slowly, elongating the whole word. You were curious.

"I need a supply run partner for..."

"Yes. Let's go."

You don't let him finish and already started walking off in the direction of the armoury, when you feel a hand gripping your arm and pulling you backwards. Your body, once again, tenses, even though you know it was just Daryl. You sigh and glance at Daryl, whose brows are furrowed, and he looked like he was fighting the eye roll really hard.

"A few rules first," he says firmly, not letting go of your arm.

"Rules?"

"Rules," his repeated answer was enough to make your eyes squint at him. Your lips pursed. "You gotta follow them, or you're not coming."

"What rules those may be?"

"Well, for starters - you let me do the majority of things. Getting supplies, killing walkers, all of it," he gestures dismissively.

"So, what's the point of me going?" you ask, shifting from one foot to the other. "If you're going to do all the dirty work, what is my role in this?"

"Covering my ass," he says, and finally lets go of your arm. "And company."

"Oh, so you need company now?"

"Yours? Always."

His words made the familiar warmth inside you spread across your chest, but you push the feelings you have for him deep down, so they never get discovered again. You smile gently, thinking about months you weren't able to banter and joke with him. Months that you've spent apart, because of your mouth not connecting with your brain but your heart once in your life. You were beating yourself up for it. You knew if it didn't happen, you'd never lose Daryl. Not only that, but you'd never lost all that time. And you decided that it wasn’t worth it. So you’ll stay as far from those feelings as possible.

“That all the rules?” You ask with your eyebrow up.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "The second rule is - always stay behind me. No matter what."

"Okay," you look him up and down, trying not to smirk too hard at how serious he was about the rules. Was he trying to protect you? Maybe. But what happened to a man that believed you could take care of yourself? "Okay, what else?"

"Do not run off like you used to," he says, pulling on the strap of his crossbow. "I gotta know you're around and safe."

So he is trying to protect you and keep you safe.

It's true. You used to run off during the supply runs all the time. Whenever you saw something worth checking out or heard the walkers roaming nearby, you were off like you were going on an adventure. It definitely felt like it sometimes. Some people described you as a person who gets off on the adrenaline, the excitement of finding things or killing the undead with your machete was always visible on your face, which made perfect sense. You despised being bored, so looking for new things to get you at least a bit excited was your thing.

"That all?"

“Yeah, I think so,” he nods.

„Okay. Deal, but I have one condition, too.”

You say it with a mischievous smile. You knew he was not going to be happy about the condition. Daryl hated parties, especially ones where people were close together in confined spaces of four walls. It was a fucking nightmare for him. Too close, too crowded, too sweaty, too unnecessary. You knew that even mentioning it would make his eyes roll to the back of his head - the idea seemingly the worst.

Even though you knew he might refuse, you still wanted to ask. You secretly wanted him to go with you. The idea of him watching over you, especially since the attack, seemed nice. Something about his gaze on you felt like a warm blanket. His words brought you back to reality.

“What’s that?”

You cleared your throat. “I��ll be a good girl, and follow your rules-," you say slowly. You could see his head tilting slightly to the side, and he crossed his arms on his chest. "-if you go to Aaron’s birthday party with me tonight.”

Just as you thought, the suggestion made his eye roll, and he huffed and groaned unhappily. The idea of attending something he didn't have to was not appealing at all. He stared at you, his hand rubbing his temple like he was trying to find an excuse or reasons not to come. You felt the need to make your own rule, because if he can do it, why can't you, right? His face visibly changed, and his eyes closed for a minute, as if trying to keep cool and collected. After a minute, his eyes open and he shoots you a hard look.

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yeah," you smacked your lips together. You simply could not contain the smile on your face.

Daryl took a deep breath and whistled it out. His head shook slightly in resignation. His lips were invisible with how hard he squeezed them together. Deep hate for crowds comes from his childhood as well. You remember him telling you about getting lost in a mall for hours and crying his eyes out, trying to look for his mama. Turned out his mum was too high to actually give a fuck about leaving her son in a mall. And the security guard was not much of a help either. And somehow, the police didn't care that much. They just dropped him off at home and gave his mum a warning. Wild times, the 1970s.

"Fine," he said finally, and you grinned even wider. "Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. You creep me out."

You stuck your tongue out at him, and he rolled his eyes, but you could see in his eyes that he wasn't the least bit annoyed at you. He found it amusing how you always challenged him, made him socialise and left no space to argue. It was always the thing he liked about you.

After the entire day on the supply run, you made a plan to meet up with Daryl at the entrance of the mess hall so you could walk in together. They always say that it's better to have company when you attend parties. It's less stressful, and it feels like you can rely on someone. Daryl agreed with a nod.

You decided to wear a dress. It wasn't often you had an opportunity to wear anything like it these days. It's usually cargo pants and plain tops. You took a quick shower and brushed your hair, pulling it onto a low bun, and you put on an above-the-knee, faded green dress. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you knew something was missing — like jewellery or a clutch bag to make it more elegant — but in the zombie world, there is no such luxury. You pulled out a pair of worn-out black heels from your wardrobe, a pair of them never worn or even tried on. You picked them up from a supply run years ago and this is the first time you wore it.

You made your way towards the entrance of the mess hall, and you saw Daryl standing there, illuminated by a soft light coming through ajar doors. He certainly made an effort to at least change his clothes, now wearing a dark blue Henley and black jeans, which you appreciated. His hair was still messy and he was smoking a cigarette. He looked so hot, all you wanted to do was to drop to your knees and…

Noooo, bad thoughts. Bad.

You close your eyes for a second, once again pushing the entire variety of feelings stirring inside of you down. You were not going back there. Not now, that you finally have your best friend back, and your life feels normal again. You smiled at him, approaching, and his eyes seemed to take you in, scan your figure up and down. There was something in his eyes that you did not recognise.

"You clean up well," you say cheerfully.

"So do you," he says, his voice a tiny bit hoarse and unfamiliar. He clears his throat once and looks at the slightly open doors of the mess hall. "Shall we?"

"Yeah."

You both get inside and the soft music and conversations hit your ears. Some people laughing, some people even dancing. You look around at the perfectly decorated mess hall, the ribbons on the ceiling and balloons on the floor, some crazy string falling down the curtains and walls. It wasn't much, but you could definitely tell it was a birthday party. Or any type of party, really. You look to your right, but Daryl was gone, making his way to the makeshift drinks table. The chuckle escaped your mouth. Of course, he needed some liquid courage to be able to stay at this party longer. You decided to leave him be and talk to Aaron to wish him happy birthday, and socialise with a few of other people.

You get your drink delivered by Daryl. You didn’t even have to tell him, and he didn’t ask either. He just knew you well enough to bring you some red wine in a fancy-looking glass (probably taken from one of the fancier mansions Aaron went on a supply run to) and you thanked him quietly. He then walked over to the side of the room and leaned against the wall, taking a sip of his whiskey, his eyes watching you.

He nurses the same glass for the entire party, slowly sipping on it, but the liquid doesn't seem to be draining at all. He stays near you throughout the party. It wasn't an over the shoulder watching, not at all. More like a `making sure you're safe` way which truthfully made you feel a little more at ease.

You spotted Leah at the party an hour ago, and you fought your instincts to go over to her and give her a piece of your mind… Or a piece of your fist, depending on how that conversation would go. But you stayed rooted between a group of people you were talking with. She seemed to be staying away from everyone, including you, but every time you and her locked eyes, her lips curled into an eerie smirk, and only you knew what it meant. She was also staying out of Daryl's way, avoiding him like fire, never coming close to the spot where he leaned against the wall. You weren't sure if Daryl was aware she was here, but chose not to bring any attention about it to him. Instead, you went to grab some more wine.

As the time passed by, you decided to have a break from socialising and rest where Daryl was resting. You turned around, but he wasn't there, your body suddenly tensed up a little before you realise he probably went for a cigarette or to the bathroom. Sipping on the wine, you lean against the wall, and you look around, your eyes immediately fall onto Leah's figure.

She was wearing her usual, head-to-toe black outfit, and her hair was tied together in a loose plait. Her blue eyes seemed to be scanning the surroundings, making sure no one was paying too much attention to her. And no one was. She was like a ghost. Was she a ghost? Did you really have that much wine that you’re hallucinating her? 

You furrow your brow. She smiled from ear to ear and then started making her way to the stairs that led upstairs, where Alexandria kept supplies. In a spur of the moment, without thinking about it twice, you decide to follow her.

You push yourself off the wall and make your way through the crowd, your blood pumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. You see Leah climbing up the stairs, and then she disappears around the corner. You trot up as well and you stop. Looking around, you realise there were way too many doors, and you were way too tipsy to check all of them. Also, what the hell are you going to do when you confront her? Talk to her? Threaten her? Beat her up? Well, you certainly wanted to.

"What are you doing up there?"

Daryl's voice jolts you up, and you turn on your heel,  looking down. He was standing in a corridor, between the stairs and the walls, looking up at you with a puzzled expression. You take a deep breath and let it out.

"Nothing," you mumble.

"Okay," he didn't sound convinced, but he decided not to push it. You step closer to the baluster and leaning forwards. "Get back down here then."

You blink and suddenly everything is dark and the only source of light is a moonlight filtering through the windows and an open door. The soft music stops. Your ears pick up a creak behind you, but before you can turn around, your body gets pushed and the crack of the landing baluster echoes through the air. You fall down, and it feels like everything suddenly was in a slow motion. Somehow, your body clashes with Daryl's and you both fall down to the floor with a thud, grunting loudly. His chest cushioned your fall, and you look up at him, hands propping at his sides. For a minute, you just stared at him. He was even more beautiful up close. You shook his head, to get rid of these thoughts. His eyes were fixated on the landing upstairs, and his face scowled, showing a tiny wrinkle in his forehead.

You scramble to your feet and straighten your dress, pulling it down, and he follows suit.

"Are you okay?" He asks, scanning you for any type of injury.

"Yeah. Are you?" Your eyes look towards the people pulling into the hallway with curious looks on their faces.

"Nothing I cannot handle," he answers. He seemed so far away with his thoughts that you didn't bother to ask again, even though you wanted to make sure.

His eyes drifted upwards again, and your anxiety spikes. Did he know? Did he see? What did he see? Leah? And if so, was he planning to do something? Should you tell him that you also know?

Aaron and Eric push through the crowd of people and their eyes widen at the sight of you, Daryl and a broken baluster, laying in pieces on the floor. They come up to you and ask what happened, Aaron's hand land on your shoulder and his other hand reaches up and picks some splinters from your hair. You explain in as few words as possible, and they listen with shock painted across their faces.

Eric finishes his drink in one swig, and sighs deeply. "I just painted that a couple of days ago," he looks at the broken pieces of wood on the floor. He wasn't mad, he even seemed weirdly excited about it. Maybe because painting and decorating was the thing he enjoyed the most, here in Alexandria.

You mouth a “sorry” to him, even though it wasn't much of your fault, and you quickly say you'll clean up the mess, so everybody could go back to partying. Aaron and Eric round up the people and shoo them back to the mess hall. They turned the music on and up, and someone screamed out something about the party just getting started. You sigh, and you look at Daryl, who already started picking up the broken wood. Joining him, you take the pieces out and to the shed. The wood will probably be repurposed — either used to repair or to burn in fireplaces during winter.

Daryl was quiet for the whole process, and you could tell his head was preoccupied. Looking at him, you didn't know if you should mention anything or if you should just leave it be. You suspected he might have seen Leah. You knew it was Leah who pushed you down, there was no way that it was someone else.

After all the wood is stacked in the shed, you turn to him and open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.

"I'm gon' go home," he says, looking at you. "Don't want to be here any more."

"Okay," you say, nodding. "Walk me home?"

He gives you a little nod, and you walk to your house in silence. His hands were in his pockets and the air was thick with questions and anger. You were 99% sure he saw her upstairs, because why would he be so cryptic right now?

Once you both reach your house, you try to invite him in for another drink, just to prevent him from doing something stupid, but he refuses, making an excuse of being too tired. There was no point in arguing with him, so you just let it go and watched him disappear into the night, silently praying he’s just going home.

[visceravalentines]

drowning is only as hard as you make it

bo sinclair x gn!reader

2k words. weird melancholy freak behavior. author's thinly disguised smoking fetish. established relationship (lol). Ambrose is lonely. that's it that's the fic.

He always manages to find you.  Every time.  It’s not a game anymore, not really; there’s no use keeping score when only one side is allowed to earn points.  There are no rules, no satisfaction in the victory.  You’d make your way back to the house even if he never showed up.  Today you’re not even hiding.

The row of vacant windows across the street catches the last lazy rays of sunlight.  A few eager fireflies pantomime shooting stars just above the freshly cut grass.  He mows the lawns regularly, every last one of them, dripping sweat in the sticky air.  You think it’s nonsensical.  He doesn’t care what you think.  At least it smells nice.  Nostalgic.  Painful.  

On an evening like this, there should be kids out.  Riding bikes, running through the neighbor’s yard.  Parents watching from their porches.  People chatting, relaxing.  Hell, maybe a dog or two.  But there is only you, and the fireflies.  

The heat of your cigarette creeps dangerously close to your fingers but you wring one last pull off the thing before you crush it against the step.  Scorch marks dot the woodgrain like initials carved in a tree, only better, because they’re anonymous.  Could've been left by anyone sitting sulking on these stairs and pondering ways to disappear.  Plausible deniability.  

Too bad you're the only one here.

You set your hand on the pack beside you, work another one out with your fingers without looking.  It’s all reflex.  It’s all muscle memory.  That’s all you are anymore, something that survives without thinking about it.  

In that shadowy place called Before, you only ever smoked on rare occasions. At parties or bars, always with friends, always a little drunk. You'd never admit it aloud but a part of you used to pride yourself on your restraint–you could stretch a single pack out over a month or more, until the tobacco had gone stale and the cigarettes tasted like dusty paper. Until it was less of a treat and more like a chore to get through the last few.  

Now you drop butts through the grate of your days like maybe you can fill up the emptiness with smoke.  

You sigh and light up, take a drag and let it sweep you up above the gutters.  You imagine the town might almost be pretty from up high.  Hard to tell from here.  

“Didn’t know this house had a chimney.”  

Some part of you remembers what it felt like to flinch when he got this close.  Another part remembers the way you buried your face in his back before he got up this morning.  You exhale nice and slow.  “Thought you knew everything.”  

“Now, we’ve talked about this.”  He leans against the rickety railing, white paint flaking off at the slightest disturbance.  “You know nothin’ good comes from thinkin’.”  

As a matter of fact, you’ve talked about everything already, but that’s never stopped him before.  You’ve heard all the stories sixteen times, could recount his childhood from memory one miserable year after another.  You know where he got that scar.  He knows all about your first kiss.  Eighth grade was hard for both of you for vastly different reasons.  He’s never been to your hometown but he could probably find your old house.  You’ve never met his mother, but you hate her just the same.  Favorite movie, worst fear, where were you on 9/11?  In a zombie apocalypse, he’d choose an ax.  You’d take the shotgun with exactly two shells.  It’s almost romantic, except, well.  

“Hey.”  He slams the heel of his hand against the railing and somewhere along the line, the wood splits with a crack.  “What’d I just say?”  

You look up, jarred loose from your spiral, and he’s shaking his head.  

“Damn fool.  Gimme those back.”  

He reaches out a hand and you slip one last smoke from the pack before you give it to him.  

“Lighter too, baby, c’mon.”  

You hesitate for a second, long enough he has to flex his fingers to make the point.  You hand him the lighter, keep the spare cigarette, tuck it behind your ear.

He peeks into the pack and his lip twitches. “Fuckin’ glutton.  This was full this mornin’.”  

“Sorry,” you deadpan.  

“Sure y’are.”  

You’ve had this conversation too, in just about every house on the street.  You wonder if he ever feels crazy, playing it all out over and over again.  Probably not. He's composed of repetition, a record that skips in the same place every time it's played. You feel crazy, fucking listening to it.  

You watch him work a cigarette loose, watch him hold it in his lips, watch the tendons flex across his knuckles as he lights up. For all the fucking smoke he blows, you still think he looks damn good as he exhales up towards the fading sun. One of life's little cruelties. 

“Y’know, supper ain't gonna make itself,” he says casually. Like he’s trying to piss you off.  He probably is.  

“You sure?” you shoot back, like you’re trying to piss him off.  You definitely are.  

He chuckles, unbothered. “I dunno, baby. Been wrong before.”

“Yeah?  Tell me more.” You're bold these days. Stupid. Dangerous, and not in the same way as the surgeon general's fine print. Dangerous in the present moment. Shaving seconds off your life like taking a pocketknife to a good chunk of wood. But games are more fun with two players. 

He doesn’t want to play, though.  Probably worn out from mowing all those fucking lawns.  He shrugs.  “Nothin’ more to tell.”  

“Pantry’s empty anyway,” you mutter.  The grocery list on the fridge has wrapped back on itself twice over.  He’s been cagey lately, reluctant to venture into town.  You’re down to canned goods old enough to read chapter books.  

“Guess we’ll starve.”  

“Guess so.”  You flick your rapidly shrinking cigarette and watch the ash fizzle frantically down and disappear. The chorus of crickets crescendoes to a dull roar in the silence.  

“You like these, huh?”

You're not sure what he means for a second before you realize he's talking about the cigarettes. You take another drag like you have to mull the taste over, really consider the question. He’s not a patient man, but he waits for your answer.

“Yeah,” you say finally on the tail of your exhale. “Best ones in a while.”

It’s the truth.  He's got his own brand and you like it too, but he's a fucking skinflint, and he only buys himself a pack when he's really hard up. Most of the time he scavenges off corpses and out of glove boxes. And you live off his scraps, so. 

Regretfully, you stub yours out as the flame hits the filter. Your throat is raw, tongue wrapped in the taste of tobacco. Everything in this town is racing to kill you and you wish something would win already. You can feel him watching you, now and always. 

“Somethin’ you need, sugar?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”  

He exhales with relish.  You think about the taste of smoke on his tongue and tobacco on his fingers and you grit your teeth.  He’s a vice in every sense.  

“You pissed at me?”  

What kind of question is that?  You peel a chunk of paint off the stair near your shoe.  “I’m always pissed at you.”  You mean it and you don’t and you’re braced for retribution either way, but none comes.  

“Fair enough.”  

You steal a wary glance in his direction.  He’s covered in flecks of grass.  He shed his overshirt in the heat of the day but it’s back on now, unbuttoned, the tee underneath smudged with green.  He lifts his hat, rubs his brow with the heel of his hand, tugs it back into place.  His face is a little sunburnt in spite of the thing.  

“You wanna fight?”  

You stop breathing for a second, sit very still.  He looks down at you, cocks an eyebrow.  He’s really asking.  

You think about it, really think about it.  Broken skin, broken glass.  No neighbors to scandalize.  You shake your head.  “No.”  

He shrugs, goes back to staring holes in the house across the street.  You almost want him to be disappointed, but his face is placid, expression impassive.  “Alright then.  ‘Nother time.”  

You furrow your brow, look at your shoes.  You pick at the paint, feel it slip beneath your nail like a splinter.  You’d bet five bucks you don’t have that he’ll be back to repaint these steps within the week.  It makes you want to rip them apart so he’d have more to do.  You’re not sure if he’d take that as a gift or as sabotage.  You’re not sure how you’d mean it.  

“How ‘bout we head inside, feel each other up?  See what happens?”  You look at him sharply.  He’s really asking.  “We can do it how you like it.”  

How you like it.  How do you like it?  Does he know?  Do you?

Your expression must be a funny one because he grins.  “What?  You a prude all the sudden?”  

No.  No, but.

You find the words wedged behind your teeth.  “You a gentleman all the sudden?”  

He snorts.  “C’mon now.”  He gives the railing one last yank, almost pulls it loose.  As he rounds the steps he drops his spent cigarette and crushes it underfoot.  “Scoot.”  

You make room on the stair and he sits down heavy beside you, takes up more than his fair share of space, same as always.  He smells like sun and sweat and grass and smoke.  His sleeve rides up and exposes the pink of his wrist.  He pulls it down without thinking about it.  You almost–almost–pull it back up.  

“I’m just tryin’ to figure you out.  Don’t know what the fuck you want.”  

Now that's a dumb fucking thing to say. You want a thousand things.  A meal.  A clock that works.  Cable TV.  An article of clothing that doesn't reek of mothballs and someone else's fear. A normal conversation with a normal human being. Half a goddamn hour to yourself without the urge to lock the doors and set the house on fire. 

Anything.  Anything.  

“A light,” you say bitterly. 

To your surprise, he digs the lighter out of his pocket.  Holds it up to show you, like a peace offering.  He moves his boots down a step, pats his thigh.  “C’mere.” 

You straddle his lap and it’s like you’re walking in and out of a room at the same time.  Your hands find their place on either side of his chest and he’s warm to the touch like a dog lying in the sun.  His fingers play at the small of your back.  You can escape into the maze of abandoned homes or the pattern on the ceiling but you can’t slip away from those eyes at this distance.  They catch you like barbs on wire, as distant and cold as the sky.  

This is how you like it.  His head tipped back, looking up at you.  You run your thumb along the edge of his jaw and he almost–almost–smiles.  

He plucks the cigarette from behind your ear, flips it in his fingers.  You open your mouth.  He sets it on your tongue.  He flicks the lighter, brings it close, and when you breathe in you feel it–the poison of this place, yellow-green, permeating your lungs and all the rest of you.  No use in pretending.  No use fighting the current.  Drowning is only as hard as you make it.  

You wonder if he knows you’d come home even if he never came to find you.  Maybe that’s why he comes anyway.  Maybe that’s why you keep hiding.  So you both have something to look forward to.  Games are more fun with two players.  

It’s not worth thinking about.  Nothing good comes from thinking.  

You start to exhale and he tugs you close, sucking the smoke from your mouth, because he never can let you keep anything to yourself.  Maybe you don’t even want to. 

Your lips touch.  Tangerine thrums behind your eyes.  You’ll go to bed hungry tonight and so will he.  One shotgun, two shells.

“Don’t say I never gave you anything,” he murmurs.  

You’re already working his shirt off his shoulders one-handed.  “Nothing I want.”  

He laughs once, almost breathless, leans back on the stairs so you have to lean with him.  “C’mon now.”  

You toss the cigarette into the dirt to free up both hands.

[boybandbaby]

The Sweet Escape Part VI

911 AU (Prince!Evan Buckley x Fem!Baker!Reader)

previous part

word count: 3119

warnings/tags: mention of character death, mention of character illness, argument, physical assault (slapping), as always if i miss anything please let me know

note: there are so many skips in this chapter i am so sorry

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You’ve slept the best you’ve ever slept last night. That’s mostly thanks to one Evan Buckley.

As you slip your apron over your clothes, tying the back as best as you can, you hear two voices coming from kitchen. You furrow your brows and quickly move down the stairs.

Living above the bakery was such a blessing that you could pop down to start work just barely 10 minutes after waking up. Your grandma had been awake when you woke up, already heading down to the bakery but you weren’t aware that Ravi was going to be starting this early.

As you get closer, you realize it’s not Ravi speaking. You turn the corner, taking that last step down with a smile plastered on your face. “Buck! What are you doing here?”

“She's so rude, isn’t she? Can’t even say good morning.” He nudges your grandma, an act too casual for a soon to be king. “You sure you raised her?” He winks at you, holding his oil covered hands up.

“She didn’t learn this behavior from me.” Your grandma nudges him back. “Isn’t this a pleasant surprise, y/n? The prince stopped by wanting to help out today.” She widens her eyes and pumps her eyebrows at you behind Buck’s back as she takes the baking tray to the fridge.

“I told you, Buck is just fine ma’am." He turns to her when she rolls her eyes then back to you, “I’m learning how to make a focaccia. That’s what it’s called right?” He smiles down at your grandma as she passes by him, back to the counter to help him.

“And like I told you, enough with the ma’am. Just like my granddaughter, making me feel old.” She pats his hip to move him out of the way. “And yes, that’s correct. He’s been so helpful this morning.” She swoons.

You roll your eyes and step forward to squeeze his hip. You leave your hand there as you peer from around his body.

“Grandma, don’t you have some things to do in the front?” You try to subtly shoo her. You nod your head to the right, in the direction of the front, before briefly looking up at Buck. He’s amused by the whole interaction. He knows what you're doing and he's glad.

“Fine, fine. I get it.” She laughs before wiping her hands on her apron. “I’ll go make myself busy. Take that bread out in 10 minutes.”

“Yes ma-“ He cuts himself off when your grandma glares at him. He apologizes before she’s out of the kitchen. “Calling her by her first name seems disrespectful.”

“It’s fine. She’s not really a fan of the whole formal thing.” You shrug.

“But she always calls me Prince whenever I see her." He laughs.

“She may not like royalty but she knows better than to disrespect royalty."

“What do you mean?” He uses the back of his hand, near his wrist to brush at your hairline.

“Doesn’t matter. Anyway, happy birthday.” You smile, giving his hip another squeeze before letting go.

“Hi, thank you.” Buck turns his attention back to the tray of dough. He uses his fingers to poke into the oily dough like your grandma showed him.

“You’re crazy for coming here but I’m glad to see you.” You admit.

“I just had to see you, make sure last night wasn’t a dream.” He blushes.

“It definitely wasn’t.” You flush. You wash your hands and press the cold backs to your cheeks. You both hold each others’ gaze before laughing.

Buck reaches to scratch the back of his neck before remembering he’s got oil on his hands. “I uh, I’ve been thinking. I would really like you at the wedding. I know it's last minute and the wedding is in four days.”

“Wait, what?” You tilt your head.

“Yeah, it would mean a lot to me if you could be there. Just as some support.” He turns back to the dough.

“You’re still getting married? Didn’t last night change anything for you?” You scoff, pulling his shoulder back. You try to get him to look at you.

“Last night meant so much to me but I still have to get married.” His voice rises just a tad.

“What about you wanting to become a teacher? I thought you…” you shake your head, bringing your voice back down. “Never mind.”

“Being a teacher is just a dream. It could never happen. As much as I’d like to not have the life I have, it just doesn’t work that way.” Buck's tone intensifies.

“Right… so why did you come here then Buck?” You look down to the floor, your hands finding shelter in your apron pocket.

“I told you. I needed to see you.” He bends down at the neck to try and catch your eyes.

“You’re getting married, Buck. You can’t come and see me like this anymore.” Your fingers twist in the fabric.

“You knew I was getting married when you came to see me last night. That didn’t stop us.” He sasses. He’s becoming upset.

“I’m not trying to fight with you, Evan. I just- I’m confused. I guess I thought things were going to be different.”

“Hey, no. We’re not fighting.” He rubs his hands on a nearby towel and shakes his head. “I love you and last night was perfect but I can’t just drop everything and start a new life. I have people to protect and a kingdom to run.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” You take a step back. “I was wrong to go over last night. You’re engaged. We shouldn’t have done what we did.” You move to check on the bread in the over just as instructed by your grandma.

“You regret it?” His voice lowers significantly, eyes shining with pain.

“Not at all, I just think we weren’t thinking it through.” He runs a hand over his face at your words. “Buck, I love you and last night was so special. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t easy for you. I guess I just assumed things would’ve changed.” You dust your hands on your apron and grab his hand. “I can’t go. I want to support you but seeing you marry someone else… it hurts too much. I love you.” You kiss his knuckles.

He’s since turned away from you, shoulders slumped. But as you give his knuckles a few pecks and he feels tears tickle his skin, he faces you. There’s tears streaming down his face too. “Worst birthday ever.” He laughs through his quiet sobs.

“Totally. I’m sorry.” You laugh with him and pull him in for a hug. You rub your tear stained cheeks on his sweater.

“I think I should go.” He breathes into your hair.

“Yeah,” you sniffle and pull back from him. “Take care of yourself, Buckley.”

“I’ll try. Promise me you won’t give your grandma a hard time?” You nod and kiss his cheek.

“Where the hell were you?” June asks as soon as Buck enters his room. He jumps at the sound of her voice, not noticing her presence when he initially entered the room.

“That’s none of your business.” Buck shrugs before making his way to his bed. He already has his clothes laid out for the day.

“I am your wife.” She stands from the couch and makes her way over to him. “Is that flour on your shirt? You were with her weren’t you?”

“You’re not my wife.” Buck points out. “And how did you even get in here?”

“Doesn’t matter.” June pulls his arm so he can face her. “I don’t want you seeing her anymore. Do you understand?”

“God, you’re just like a little clone of my mother.” Buck rips his arm from her grip. “I want to get something straight with you, June. I don’t love you and I can guarantee I never will. I’m only marrying you to please my parents. So, you can either learn to deal with that or leave. There's the door." He throws his arm out, finger pointing at the wooden door as he strips his sweater off.

June is frozen in her tracks as her eyes began to water. Buck can’t find it in himself to feel guilty. She isn't the nicest person and she's not the woman he wants to spend his life with.

“Are we done?” He raises a brow, throwing his sweater onto the bed.

June nods before practically bolting out of the room. Buck sighs and rests his head on the bed post. He softly bangs his forehead onto the wooden post a couple times before picking his clean clothes up and heading to take a shower.

“Y/n!” You faintly hear. “Y/n! Wake up.” You’re startled with a shake to your body. You jump when you see Albert hovered over you. You quickly cover yourself with your blanket. You not wearing anything indecent but you've never had a boy in your bedroom. Sadly, this wasn't the boy that you wanted.

“Albert? What the hell?”

“It’s your grandma.” He says urgently.

Throwing the blanket off your body, you slip on your slippers, tie a robe around your waist, and follow him down to the bakery. When you’re down in the kitchen, you see that your grandma is awake but slumped in a chair.

“What happened?” You kneel in front of her, down on your knees.

“Everything’s fine. I just need a moment.” She fans herself with a sheet of paper.

“She fainted.” Albert chimes in.

“It’s okay. I feel better now that I’ve had some water. Albert, you need to get the cake up to the palace. It’s the big day.”

��Don’t worry about that. We need to get you looked at.” You reach up to feel her forehead.

“Y/n, I’m fine. Please just go back upstairs to change.”

“You don’t look well. You’re pale and clammy. We need to go see Dr. Wilson.” You urge.

“Don’t bother, y/n. The wedding is the most important thing today. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get checked out.”

“We're not waiting until tomorrow. I’m going up there myself and she’s going to come see you. I don’t care about the stupid wedding.” You stand up.

She grabs your hand, “You will not. You’ll go get dressed and come down here to run the bakery. I’ll get some rest then. Albert, get the cake to the palace, please.”

Albert is quickly working, stacking a layer of cake onto the next. He had followed your grandma's instructions exactly as explained. He felt the sweat accumulating on his eyebrow as he placed the topper onto the center of the top layer. He is hoping to get this done so that he could get back to the bakery and help out.

“Hey, little brother.” Chimney claps Albert’s shoulder. “The cake looks great.”

“Thanks, Chim.” Albert quietly murmurs.

“You okay?” Chimney squeezes his shoulder.

“Can we talk in private?” Albert turns to him, looking around.

“Sure.” Chimney pulls him to a vacant corridor.

“Y/n’s grandma fainted this morning. She refusing to get looked at today because of the wedding.”

“You want me to talk to Hen and send her over there?" Chim offers.

“Would you? Y/n would really appreciate it.” Albert breathes a sigh of relief. "I know it's a busy day-"

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Chim nods.

“Sounds like she’s got heat syncope.” Hen comes down the stairs.

“What is that?” You ask.

“Happens due to a drop in blood pressure caused by excessive heat exposure.” She apologetically smiles. “She needs to rest and stay hydrated, make sure she stays cool and no work today."

“Thanks Dr. Wilson, I know you’re busy today but it means a lot that you could come.” You hand her a small box of pastries for her family.

“Thank you. Denny and Karen love those mango pastries." She smiles before adding, "So, you’re not coming today?” She slips the box into the crook of her arm.

“I can’t. For many reasons.” You meet her eyes. “Can you give this to him for me?” You hand her a folded piece of paper.

As soon as Hen makes her way back to the palace, Buck is already waiting outside of her home.

“How is she?” He bites at his nails.

“She’s getting some rest right now but she’s fine.” Hen reassures him.

“And y/n? How is she feeling?"

“She’s worried and scared for her grandma.” Hen unlocks the door, pushing the heavy door open.

“Is she dying?” He cringes at the brash way it comes out.

“No, Buck." She shakes her head and sets her medical bag and box of pastries on the kitchen table. "You should be getting ready right now.”

“I should be going to check on, y/n. I mean am I stupid? The girl I love, loves me back. She practically offered me my dream life and instead I shut her down and I’m getting fucking married.” Buck pulls at his hair.

“I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you Buck. But here, she wanted me to give this to you.” Hen hands him the folded note.

“Thanks, Hen.” He rubs his thumb over the note. “Thank you for going to check on her grandma.”

“It’s no problem. I know y/n is worried because of what happened to her mom.”

“Her mom?” Buck asks. He knows she passed when you were 15 but you weren’t really friends at the time so he doesn’t know much about her.

“You don’t know?” Hen opens her front door and Buck follows her in.

“Know what Hen?”

“Y/n’s mom got really sick but your parents had requested that the doctor move closer to the palace to be near Daniel. Y/n's mom was too sick to travel to the palace for regular check ups. The day of her death Y/n had been sent to the palace to get the doctor but when he arrived a few hours later, her mom had already died.”

“Hours?” Hen nods.

“Why didn’t the doctor go sooner?”

“Your mother had Daniel on a strict regimen and the doctor was constantly at his beck and call.”

“If he had been there sooner would she have lived?” Buck rubs his temples.

"I don't think so. Her health was already declining. Your parents received a lot of backlash for pulling the doctor closer to the palace instead of keeping him in town. It's one of the reasons they opened up the town clinic." She adds.

“Thanks, Hen.” Buck leaves. When he gets to his room, he throws himself on the bed with a soft groan.

Dear Evan Buckley, Today is your big day. I know for both of us, it’s going to be a hard day. I hope that eventually you can find true happiness in whatever way possible even if your life is planned for you. I hope that when you become king, you can really be a king for the people. You’re so kind and you care so much about others, I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll be thinking of us villagers. I hope that you use your power for good and don’t let it get to your head. I hope you stay humble and pure of heart. I’ll always love you, Buckley. I’ll always think of you and the moments we shared. I’ll continue sending your favorite pastries to the palace in hopes that it brings a smile to your face, even if I’ll never get to see it again. You have the best smile. Have I ever told you that? As cheesy as it sounds, your smile lights up a room. Your laughter is contagious and you’re so funny! (Yes, it hurt me to admit this.) But it’s true. I wish you the best moving forward, Buck. Just know, you always have me and the bakery if you ever need to get away, even for a little while. I love you. Your Y/n

“Where is he?” Phillip storms through the door. “I know you’re hiding him.”

“Sir, he’s not here.” You speak. His presence has startled the few patrons you have and they start to make their way out of the bakery. In their place comes half the wedding party.

Pushing her way to the front, Margaret points a finger dangerously close to your face. “You corrupted my son! He deserves better than you.”

“Don’t act like you care at all about what your son deserves. You’re only thinking about yourself and how his future benefits you. You are so selfish.”

“Selfish? You're the little tramp that's preventing Evan from becoming King. It's his duty to run this kingdom and you can only think about yourself.”

You roll your eyes, “Have you ever stopped the ask your son if he even wants to be King?”

“It’s not about what he wants. It’s about what’s best for the people.” Philip shouts as he towers over you.

You scoff, “like you know what best for the people.” You set down the pair of tongs in your hand, crossing your arms.

“You’re out of line." He barks. "Now, where is Evan?”

“He’s not here. Maybe if you knew him better, you’d have a clue where to find him.” You sassed.

“We do know our son!” Margaret cries.

“Really? Then tell me what his favorite food is? Or- or his favorite book? Color? Anything!” You shout at her. “You think you know your son but you’re wrong. Evan is an amazing person with amazing dreams and an amazing heart. I’m sorry you won’t get to see that.”

“What do you mean we won’t get to see that? If you both think he’s staying here, with you, in these poor conditions, you’re both sadly mistaken.” Philip’s tone is sharp and aggressive.

“Let’s not act like you give an ounce of shit about him. If Daniel was here you wouldn’t give a shit about Buck.”

The next thing that happens makes the room go silent aside from a few gasps. You don’t register the slap to your face at first. It honestly feels numb for a few seconds before the stinging happens.

Athena steps forward and places a hand on your cheek. Her touch is cold against your hot cheek. “That was uncalled for.” Athena turns to Margaret and Phillip. "She does not deserve this treatment."

Margaret takes a step back with a shocked expression like she hadn’t been the one to hit you. Like she didn’t have control over her own actions. "I'm-

"Mom-" Maddie's voice wobbles as she pulls her mother back by her shoulders.

“Like I said before, Buck is not here." You pull Athena’s hand from your face. "Please leave."

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

next part

[ruruumin]

15 - underlying meaning

today was a warm and sunny day. the clouds were out of sight and the sun was beating down on your skin. it felt a little too perfect. you sat on the outside tables in front of magnolia, sipping on your drink while you and collei waited for nilou and aether to return with snacks. she was wearing a pretty, white lace sundress and birch-wood cardigan over it. cute and simple, the best way to describe collei and her radiant smile. 

she raises her hand towards you, speaking to you through sign language. 'has been a long time. you and aether have been busy.'

you wave her off with your hand, a sigh coming out of your throat. “yeah, i’m sorry about that. i’ve just been caught up with so much stuff that i’ve been losing track of time. i’ve been showing up to class later than i’d like, and on some days i just end up skipping entirely.”

she gives you a reassuring smile. 'i’m not disappointed. last week i've been finishing my lab. but that sounds bad. wanna talk?'

you stare down at your drink, pondering if its worth telling collei the truth. how would she react to your interaction with alhaitham? hey my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me over text, suddenly shows up at the same cafe as aether's date. and he proposed that we work together so they can get together. god, when you say it like that, it's awful.

you lock your jaw. she’s never met him, only heard about him in passing through aether and nilou. maybe she’d give you an unbiased point of view. you know aether has a strong disliking for the silver-haired man. nilou had classes with him before, thought he was just quiet, until she heard about what he did to you. collei could give you the most unbiased opinion out of everyone.

and despite this rationality, you aren’t sure. you don’t want to worry the rest of your friends. you don’t want to bring up your love life anymore than you did in the past. you still remember the night aether called you, the way your voice cracked and trembled as you sobbed uncontrollably, and how nilou and collei stood on the sidelines, unsure of what to do. they gave you the space you needed. you just don’t know if you want to go through that heartache again. let alone put your friends through it.

your thoughts were cut short when nilou approaches the table, smiling and waving to collei. “when is the last time we met up like this?” she asks, crunching on the crisp exterior of her taiyaki. the custard filling was warm and sweet. and she was thankful to have had the day off today because she couldn’t take eating another dessert filled with extra sugary strawberry fillings. 

both of them sat down at the table and you were quick to grab your snack. aether sat beside you while collei and nilou stayed close. 

“it must be tough having to help a certain someone with his suspiciously good love life.” her eyes trailed over to aether, who was absentmindedly sipping from his straw. he was pretending to daydream in a middle of a conversation.

“are you talking to me?” he replies, jokingly rubbing the inside of his ear with his pinky. “wow isn’t this matcha the best thing ever? so good, i can’t believe i didn’t try this sooner, (name) you should totally order this instead of your jasmine milk tea 75% sugar and less ice.”

“okay, you did not have to say my entire order out loud,” you roll your eyes. your reply causes him to pinch your thigh, a yelp coming out of your mouth before you slap his hand. 

“you’re such an ass!”

collei smiles, 'aether needs help, no? two months ago, he almost dated ayaka. he's been through many relationships. what makes kaveh so different?'

aether places his head down on the cool, glass table, mumbling, “well hes the only person i didnt have to help or save, so it just feels different having someone like you without you doing shit for them… or whatever.” 

“she can’t read your lips if you put your head down,” you say, pinching his ear, “i can’t quite hear you, want to speak up big boy?”

he straightens out his back, looking at you with a twitch in his eye, he speaks slower so collei could pick up on his words. “he’s the only person i didn’t help. so it feels different having someone care about you without them being in debt to you. it’s just… different.”

“besides, we should be questioning you instead. you should be the embarrassed one. if i saw my ex out in the wild i would have punched him square in the face. don’t tell me you got too swept up in his pretty looks to say anything rude?”

“oh yeah? how come you didn’t do it when you saw scaramouche? that guy treated you like shit when you first met and then he cozied up to you on my couch! my couch!”

“well he’s a changed man, if anything, i fixed him!”

“i don’t think having sex on my couch counts as therapy!”

“we did not have sex, only heavy make outs. and look whos talking, remember when you were in the backseat of my car with albedo?” 

nilou lets out a long, exhausted sigh. she forgot that everytime they go out together, she should expect a bit of bickering between you and aether. and while it may annoy or confuse other people outside of your group, she and collei know how charming it can be sometimes. she hasn’t seen a pair so close before. you and aether have some sort of freakish telepathic connection that lets you know what’s wrong with each other (if only this extended to arguments, the world would be at peace).

“don’t think i didn’t hear those face-sucking noises of yours! shame! shame on you!”

you gasp, “how dare you slutshame me!” 

“fuck you i hope when you order your jasmine milk tea 75% sugar with less ice they give you more ice and more sugar!” 

“now that’s going too far!”

collei taps on the glass table with her nail, knocking you and aether out of your petty banter. 'stop fighting, especially not in public. kaveh might see!' aether looked back at you before letting out a huff. you both roll your eyes while murmuring apologies under your throats, knowing well on the car ride back it’ll continue. the effort was enough to make collei clap in glee though.

so what happened between kaveh and aether? it sounds like it went well but i need the inside scoop.

“nothing really, i don’t think you missed much collei,” returning back to the topic at hand, you stir your drink with a straw. “they had their first ‘date’ at nilou’s cafe. they probably talked about how boring aether’s outfit was because he wasn’t wearing that yellow sweater vest. things were going well until…” 

nilou nudges your elbow, “he showed up.”

'he? you mean...' collei looks up at you with concern laced in her eyes, 'he did what?'

“more like said,” aether interrupts. “did he apologize about what he did to you last year? or should i be the one to beat his ass for you?”

'no fighting!' collei waves.

“look, he didn’t say anything, really.” you force a smile. “we just talked about school. caught up a little bit and that was it. besides, as much as i want him to apologize to me, i know that won’t happen. he’s not that type of person.”

“i don’t know (name)...” nilou presses her lips in a thin line.

collei pats your hand, giving you the same warm look she always had in her eyes. 'everything will be okay. we are here, if you need. don't worry.'

aether, on the other hand, doesn’t seem quite as convinced. his eyes were laser focused on the crinkling of your nose and the distant expression you had. he’s known you long enough to tell that the absent stirring was a sign there was something more. he doesn’t want to put you on the spot with collei and nilou, but he can’t help it. he feels as if there is something on between you and alhaitham that he doesn’t know about.

and the thought makes his stomach drop. 

you continue with the conversation as normal, laughing about how aether needs your help out of everyone for love. you talk about how disappointed you were not being able to see him dress up more. nilou is still chewing on the tail of her taiyaki while collei nods to your story.

aether is biting the inside of his cheek, listening as a good friend would. he needs to stay focus on the conversation. he shouldn’t think too hard about it. if you said it was just school, then it should be left like that. there is nothing going on between you and alhaitham.

and if there was… what would he do?

₊˚ ♡ masterlist | previous + next.

synopsis; when your friend aether calls for help in his budding crush on his senior kaveh, you're forced to confront your ex-boyfriend by means of playing cupid.

⤷ notes; hopefully the asl portion makes sense. there are specific words that are omitted and the structure of words is different (time + topic + comment).

⤷ taglist [pm to be added, 30/50]

@aixaingela @cherrybb-ily @lupicalbestwolf @arraxthatsonjah @state-of-grac3

@knighttimes @toastedfailure @tired-jaz @whipped-for-fictionals @noellesfactory

@alhaiko @sundays-prince @angel-of-requiem @jaguarthecat @vitanye

@tiramizuloz @luvvhaerin @gabirii @blvdmrcnry jayzioxx

@0lives10 @tamikahoshiko @cr4yolaas @milkuu333 @x-hihihi-x

@kangyeonie @hydration-is-for-weenies @sorcerersseestars @jiminscarmex @backgroundcharactera

[quintessenceofdust88]

Of course some 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

Diana baby! ♥ Here are 30 sentences of tsunami for you, direct continuation from my fuck it friday, and it comes with the promise that the last chapter will be up at Tuesday by the latest (but I really really wanna have it out tomorrow!) ♥

- 🌊

“Vivie, that is so beautiful, pixie,” Tommy tells her, because he’s a firm believer in always praising her daughter for her efforts (actually he’s a firm believer in giving Genevieve everything he’s never had growing up, but that is neither her nor there). But he’s afraid he’ll have to burst her bubble at least a little bit. “But… you know Daddy is not going to see Mr. Evan, right? We don’t work together, sweetheart.”

Genevieve looks at him as if Tommy’s being particularly obtuse. He briefly thinks that, if she’s mastered this look by this point, he’s already praying for himself during her childhood. She crosses her little arms and huffs at him. 

“I know you don’t work together, Daddy, Mr. Evan works with Christopher’s daddy!” She tells him. “But you’re going to his house, aren’t you?”

Tommy looks at Sal, completely at loss, but his best friend is no help. Sal looks back at him with a shrug, clearly making an herculean effort to hold back his laughter, and Tommy glares at him before looking back at Tommy. 

“Baby, why would I be going to his house?” He asks, completely baffled. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go to Evan Buckley’s house. It’s not like he hasn’t low-key stalked the man’s social media and the last three days and been even more charmed by what he saw. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about asking the other man out at least ten times since that day.

But Tommy can’t, because he can’t hold Evan accountable for the things he said under the effect of anesthesia. Tommy doesn’t know what scares him the most about bringing it up: Evan being honest and telling him that of course he didn’t mean it, he’s straight, what is Tommy even thinking, or Evan being too polite to say that and date him out of a sense of obligation.

(The thought that maybe Evan did mean it never crosses his mind. But apparently it crosses Vivie’s.)

“Because, Daddy, mr. Howie said you should, remember?” She tells him, and for once in his life Tommy curses her absurdly good memory. “He said you should check it if mr. Evan meant it or if he was just being silly!”

“Wait, wait, silly about what? What did Buckley say?” Sal asks, his gossiper vein clearly showing, and Genevieve is answering before Tommy can stop her. 

“About wanting Daddy to ask him out!” She says, bouncing excitedly on her toes. “He said Daddy should, as a thank you, but Daddy said he didn’t mean it because he was too sleepy!”

Sal smirks like he has just won the lottery, and Tommy would strangle him if he wasn’t hurt. Tommy’s cheeks blush impossibly red, and he runs a hand through his face, wondering how he can tell his five-year-old to shut up without traumatizing her. 

“Did he now? Isn’t that interesting?” Sal says, crossing his arms and smiling smugly at Tommy, who flips him off mentally. 

“It’s not, because he was under heavy painkillers and probably wouldn’t know the difference between me and Margot Robbie at that moment.” Tommy grumbles.

“Dude, that’s flattering yourself” Sal scoffs at the same time Vivie pipes ‘Who’s Margot Robbie?!’, and Tommy very maturely chooses to ignore both of them. But he should have known there’s no stopping his determined little matchmaker. --- I hope you like it and have a wonderful week, sweetheart!

[make me write]

[graciegoeskrazy]

and i say do u wanna dance?

(Matty Healy x Daughter!r)

warnings: matty messes up (ugh), queen gab, crying, ballet, some nutcracker references but dw if u know nothing about it it’s fine, bit shorter than I wanted but not short tho (???)

a/n: HEY. WHADUP. IM ALIVE. I think I hate this. Like I could’ve made it better but I also don’t think I could’ve made it better. thank twin for requesting 🫂💌

You never thought you’d be in this big of a production of the Nutcracker, let alone playing Clara. You Dad swears he’s never seen you smile as wide as you did when you found out you got the part. The last nearly 5 months were filled with rehearsals almost every night, preparing for the Nutcracker. School would end and you would rush home, quickly doing your homework before having to get dressed and out the door for rehearsal. Gabi, loved getting you ready. She always joked it’s like she has a little doll to play dress up with now, and she always did your ballet buns better than your dad ever did. Although, he did try his best everytime.

It was all kind of chaotic, and sometimes stressful, but there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

Dance had been your life, and the studio had been your second home. You loved your dance friends so much, and landing the Clara role was proof that your teachers saw progress and potential in you. Everything was going great, and everything you had been working towards was about to be put on display.

You didn’t have nerves, it was all just adrenaline. You remembered the seat numbers Gabi had told you they’d be in - Her, Charli, your Grandmother, and your Father. He kissed you goodbye that very morning, pressing a kiss to your cheek, telling you how excited he was for tonight. Letting you know he would probably have tears in his eyes the second he saw you on stage.

You tried your best to find them in the crowd from the very beginning, but you failed, too worried about keeping your spacing during the opening party scene.

It wasn’t until your solo when you could finally make your way to downstage center and take a good look into their section.

Gabi was there, smiling as wide as possible. Charli and your Grandmother right next to her with proud looks on their faces. But, it was just the three of them.

No Matty. No Dad. No tears. Just an empty seat.

It took everything in you to keep dancing - not to cry and run off stage. He wasn't there, and he said he would. No - he promised.

You took your final bow in line with Marzipan and the Sugar Plum Fairy right on either side of you. It was a weird feeling, all these fantastic, professional dancers, and then there’s little you. It was a moment you should’ve been proud of, but all you could think about was your father, and what his excuse would be this time.

You opened the stage door and were immediately met with your ‘adoring fans’ as Charli put it. You ran to Gabi first thing and she scooped you up into a tight hug.  “You were fantastic, y/n! So beautiful!”

You giggled as you hugged her and talked with Charli and Denise, briefly forgetting about your fleeting thought and what was to come.

You said goodbye to your grandmother and aunt and walked back to the car hand in hand with your stepmother.

After a moment, you spoke.

“Do you know where he is?”

She gave you a weak smile, “I called him before the show when he hadn’t gotten here yet. No answer.”

You hummed and she continued. “I called him during intermission too. He said he got caught up in the studio with the boys and completely forgot.”

Her heart broke when she saw your face shift. It wasn’t anger or madness, it was just hurt.

“I told him to not bother anymore.”

You just nodded.

She opened the car door for you and gave you a hand to crawl in the backseat of the car. As soon as she turned the car on her phone started ringing. You could see your dad’s name show up on the car screen. She picked up her phone and answered, “Hello?” She let out a long sigh as she pulled out of the parking lot. “Hi.” You heard low mumbling on the other line, but couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. After a moment, she turned and handed you the phone. “It’s your father, he wants to talk to you.”

You hesitantly took the phone, taking a deep breath before answering. “Hello?” You said, voice even.

“Y/n! Oh my God- Hi, sweet girl. How are you?” He spoke rushed, panicked even.

“I’m fine.” You said, no meaning behind it.

“Yeah? Good, good. Listen to me…I am so sorry baby-”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now-”

He didn’t listen, just kept talking. “I’m on my way home right now. I’ll be there before you know it.”

“I don’t want you home. I don’t want to see you.” You said, eyes starting to fill with tears. “I told you to be here.”

He sighed, “I know sweet girl-”

“Then why weren’t you here?” You asked, lips wobbling and tears, quickly nearing a ten.

“I just caught up with work things, baby. I’m so sorry-”

“It’s always work. It’s always some lazy excuse that’s apparently more important than me.”

He sighed, “Stop it, y/n. You know that’s not true.” He said, voice firm but still gentle.

“It is true. It’s always true. I’m always the last thing you worry about.”

“That’s ridiculous, Y/n.”

“It’s how I feel.” He was silent after that. You scoffed after a moment, “Here’s Mom, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Baby, wait-”

You handed the phone back to Gabi before he could get another word out.

…

You woke the next morning with a headache and a lingering feeling in your chest. All you can remember was crying into Gabi as she put you to bed. She quickly changed you into one of your favorite matching pj sets and grabbed a makeup wipe, trying to get all of your stage makeup off to make sure you didn’t sleep in any. You wrapped your arms around her, burrowing your head into her chest as you cried. She held you like that for a while, even after you fell asleep. Even after she heard the front door open and shut, signalling that Matty had finally gotten home.

When you pried your eyes open you were met with gold rays streaming in from the window. You stayed staring outside for a moment. Thinking. This wasn’t the first time your dad had done something like this, and it made your heart hurt knowing that it probably wouldn't be the last.

He loved you. You knew that. But some days it was hard to remember it.

You heard a knock at your door.

“Hey.” Gabi said, quietly, peeking her head through the door.

You flipped over in bed to face the door, lifting your arm and hand toward her, something you did frequently to signal her over to sit next to you.

She smiles as she walks over. You moved over a little to make more room and she laid down, letting you snuggle into her.

“Daddy’s awake. You wanna go see him?”

You quickly shook your head. “No,” you said.

“He wants to come see your second show tonight-”

“I don’t want him there.” You mumbled into her.

She sighed as she moved her fingers delicately through your hair. “He wants to see you perform, you know? He wants to see all your hard work pay off.”

“He didn’t want to last night?”

Gabi hates situations like these - being caught in the middle. She could never stay mad at Matty, although he made it pretty hard to keep that up after last night. She never wanted to make it seem like she was picking sides whenever something like this happened, even though nine times out of ten she would’ve picked yours.

“I know you’re mad at him, and you have every right to be. He messed up an awful lot yesterday. But, he loves you more than anything. More than he loves me.”

“That’s not true.”

She laughed, “Wanna bet?” Your face twisted in confusion. She settled deeper under the sheets. “When your Daddy and I first started dating, all those years ago, we knew we were in love and knew it was getting pretty serious.” You both adjusted yourselves, now lying on your sides to look at each other. “We had a conversation, the first of many. Will we get married? Have kids? Be an actual couple? All that stuff. But at the end of it, he looked at me seriously, and you want to know what he told me?”

You thought for a moment, but you were already too involved with the story. “What?” You said.

Gabi smiled, “He said, ‘I love you, and I want to love you for the rest of my life, but you have to understand that nothing will compare to the love I have for that little girl.”

She smiled, continuing to run her hands through your hair. You sat for a beat, thinking. You looked up at her wide-eyed, “He really said that?”

She nodded, “Cross my heart…”

You hummed, lying down on your back again, Gabi copying you.

“I know you didn’t ask for it, but everything he does, now and forever, it’s all been for you, Y/n.” She wiped a tear off your face you hadn’t realized had fallen. “He really does love you more than anything in this world, and he’ll probably keep beating himself up until you forgive him.”

You curled into her again, “I’m still mad.”

“Oh, I know. And you have every right to be. Hell, I would be too. You don’t have to forgive him right away, just know that he wants to be with you, and will be there whenever you need it, alright?”

You nodded.

…

The morning light filtered through the kitchen window as you stepped inside, Gabi leading the way. Matty was already there, slouched at the table with a half-empty cup of coffee in front of him. His curls were messy, his eyes tired, but they softened when he saw you.  

“Hi, baby. Good morning,” he said, voice warm despite the weight behind it.  

“Good morning,” you replied, moving to sit at the counter.  

Gabi was already at the stove, glancing back at you. “You want your usual, Y/n?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, I’m on it.” She gave you a small smile before turning back to the pan.  

Matty leaned forward, watching you. “How’d you sleep?”

You shrugged, pushing your sleeves up. “Fine.”

“Yeah? Not too bad?” he pressed gently.  

“Mhm.”  

He nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek. There was a pause - one where you didn’t look at him, and he didn’t look away from you. Then, he inhaled sharply.  

“Do you think I could come tonight? Go watch you dance?” 

Your hand hesitated midair, spoon hovering over your plate.  

You thought of last night. Of waiting by the backstage door, your stomach twisted into knots, scanning every unfamiliar face in the crowd, hoping one of them would be him. You thought of slipping off your ballet shoes, the ache in your toes nothing compared to the ache in your chest when you realized - he wasn’t coming.  

Before you could answer, he spoke again.  

“I know I messed up, Y/n. And messed up bad. But you have to know the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”

You stared at your plate, lips pressed together. He sounded so small, like he wasn’t sure if he even deserved to ask.  

“I am so, so, so sorry, Y/n.”  

You let out a slow breath, glancing up at him. His hands were folded tightly together, his shoulders hunched like he was bracing for you to shut him out completely.  

“You can come tonight.”  

Matty’s head snapped up, eyes searching yours.  

“Yeah?”  

You nodded.  

He exhaled a laugh, almost in disbelief. “Thank you, baby.”  

And later that night, when the curtains parted and the music swelled, he sat in the audience with tears slipping down his face.  

Because he was right.  

He cried the moment he saw you on stage.

[probablysimpledreams]

Surprise Valentine (Dabi x reader)

a/n: a little early v-day treat for you cuties<33 I'm still working on a Keigo piece for valentines day so that should be out soon (hopefully) lol I was working on it then went out and when I got home the idea for this fic washed over me so crazily I was like I HAVE to write it ahhh enjoy lovelies <33

wc: 1096

"I don't need a babysitter!" Toga huffed as she skipped down the dimly lit street, refusing to face Dabi who was following close behind. 

"I find that hard to believe," Dabi rolled his eyes. "I'm here for my own reasons, so just shut up and keep walking. We're almost there anyway." Toga stopped in her tracks, a wicked grin spreading across her face as she took in his words. Dabi was joining her to steal Valentine's Day treats and items from the store on his own accord? It could only mean one thing.......

"I knew it! You are in love!" the young girl beamed, completely invading Dabi's personal space as she danced around happily. "Love love love!"

"Ohmygod will you shut up?!" Dabi snapped back, looking down at his feet as he kept walking. He didn't want to admit it but Toga was right, he was in love with you. So much so that he wanted to be the sweet boyfriend who surprises you with cute gifts, despite his claim to dislike this and any other holiday. God love was embarrassing. 

"You didn't deny it," Toga teased, dodging the small flame he threw her way. Dabi just groaned in response, silently begging she'd leave him alone so he could grab what he needed and get out. 

After a few more steps and teasing remarks by Toga, the pair finally made it to the closed shop. Dabi swiftly cuts out any security cameras and locks, allowing the two to enter the shop. The isles were filled with a massive assortment of heart shaped candies, plushies, flowers, and other everyday items in pink or red to make buyers want to grab it. 

Though he wouldn't admit it aloud, Dabi was overwhelmed as he browsed the store. Everything felt so flashy, so forward, so lovey dovey. But none of it felt like him. If he was going to do something for you, he was going to make sure you could see the thought and love behind it. He may not be the most romantic man or the best with words, but he always made sure his actions told you exactly how he felt. Exactly how much he loved you. It had to be perfect. He needed to be the best boyfriend. He needed your love. He needed you to never leave him. He needed- 

"You're overthinking this dummy," Toga's voice snaps Dabi back to reality as she approaches him, hands full of heart shaped chocolates and little plushies. "I know you know what ______ likes, so just pick something and stick with the decision." 

Though it annoyed him, Toga's reassurance eased his thoughts. He took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes before looking at the isles again with a new, refreshed mindset. This time a black cat plushie with a gold heart collar caught his eye. He chuckled as he remembered the countless times you'd say he reminded you of a cat or he had "black cat energy," whatever the hell that meant. As he went to grab it, his eyes began trailing upward and landed on a plushie that happened to be your favorite animal and color. A small smile tugs at his lips as he examines the item, noting it slightly resembled you as well. He decided to grab both plushies, snatching a pack of your favorite snacks before heading out with Toga. 

Once back at the hideout, Toga immediately began showing off her "shopping" haul to the rest of the League. This allowed Dabi to go unnoticed as he snuck out, headed straight to your apartment. He wakes you up by knocking on your window, blue eyes shining as he stares through the glass. 

"I'm begging you to use the front door," you sigh as you open the window, allowing him to climb into your room. You were still trying to catch your breath after he scared you wide awake by arriving here at 2 am without any prior warning.

"Mmm no can do sweetheart, gotta keep you on your toes," he grinned. 

"Why are you even here?" you yawned, urging him to join you on the bed. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, just isn't like you to show up without some kind of heads up. Everything okay?" His heart swelled at your concern. The way you loved him so gently, so purely made his head spin. That feeling only intensified as he remembered why he even came over in the first place. 

"I-uh-I have something for you." His eyebrows furrowed as he mentally scolded himself for sounding so nervous. Your eyes widen with excitement at his words. 

"For me?" you smile, looking at him. You could tell he was nervous which only made you smile grow. God he's so cute.

"Just take it," he grumbles. While it came off coldly, you knew he was just nervous. Everything about his relationship with you was new to him, and that scared him. Because of this you were always patient, and knew his actions showed his true emotions. That's why your jaw almost dropped when he handed you the plushies and snacks. 

"Stopppp is this us as plushies?" you happily asked as you examined the plushies. You already knew the answer though, smiling ear to ear as you hugged the soft and fuzzy items. 

"Thought you'd be into some corny shit like that," he chuckles, nerves slowly dissolving seeing you so happy. He hid his still trembling hands from your line of vision as he pulled you into his side, kissing the top of your head. "Happy Valentine's Day baby." 

"AHHH I love you!! I love you!!!" you cheered, pulling him to lay down on the bed with you. You moved to lay on top of him, covering his face with kisses before nuzzling into his neck. His arms tightened around you as you cuddled against him, smile still painted on your face. "Thank you for my gift." 

He hummed, small smile tugging at his lips as he rubbed your back gently. "Glad you liked it." 

"I have something for you too but," you yawned, "I'll give you it before I head to work in a few hours." Your eyes start falling shut as the warmth from Dabi's body lures you back to sleep. "Mmmmm good night, I love you."

"I love you too baby." Dabi leans down to kiss your lips before adjusting the way you're laying on him so you both could fall asleep comfortably. His arms tighten around you once again, reminding you he's not going anywhere as you both drift off to sleep.