#i remember having this debate with my friends in HIGHSCHOOL when this premiered 🤭😭

[billyboyblue]

In Metamorphosis Sam flashing the puppy dog eyes on Dean and pulling the "I was alone 🥺" card when Dean confronts him about Ruby is wild to me. Like we didn't just see malevolence in those dewey ass eyes as he was sending that demon to hell. Like my guy, when Ruby asked you, "How did that feel?" And her expression is downright jubilant it's like c'mon this isn't about headaches you repressed dummy.

She did exactly as Dean warned you at the beginning of season 3 she's using him to control Sam and what gets my git is that Sammy knows, you know you do dude. You like the power and the independence and everything you did all the way up to and including killing Lilith shows that my guy. He really liked both getting stronger and getting stronger for Dean, this is just what happens when live a thousand Tuesdays see a thousand deaths and live a very real four months with a dead brother alone. That when the second time comes around and someone, anyone shows up, he holds onto them and whatever solutions they can give and doesn't let go. Regardless of things like morals or facts. Not every exorcism kills it's host if their body is healthy and you don't go in knife and guns blazing.

In that episode with the witnesses dean really absorbed what Meg Masters was telling him. And he needed to hear it because it was him that rationalized sending Meg to hell for the good of the girl but then killed Azazel's son the next episode. He even says to Sam in the aftermath of those two deaths, he's surprised he's not more shaken by him killing those two people. That the lengths he's willing to go to are wrong and too far. He's right on the verge of confessing and questioning the rationale behind that when he gets interrupted but it's a sentiment he carries for the rest of the show. It's something he revisits a few times in that cycle metaphor all three itching to jump into the pit for each other and never seeing when enough is enough. Dean more than John or Sam sees the human cost I think.

Idk.

Meanwhile Sammy, You were getting your rocks off in a dead girls body being ridden by a thing that's killed countless people and you convinced yourself that 'saving more people in five months than we do in a year.' makes up for that and hoo boy does it not. Drinking literal hell juice somehow got compartmentalized knowing that's what killed Mary. He saw baby him with his own eyes getting fed by Azazel and he still drinks. And HE NEVER TOLD DEAN ABOUT HOW THEIR MOM DIED FOR A WHOLE YEAR BEFORE HIS REAPING SAM COME THE FUCK ON DUDE.

This rewatch just got to the rough part and I'm debating whether I'll actually keep watching after s5 because I'm so not into the campiness. I just can't make myself get through s6 it's so hard and terrible 😭.