#i really want to put these fics under readmores but they're like.... too short for that? so it's like this long but not too long post ugh

[paimonial-rage]

type - heizou [random writing event] | requested by @ebi-samaaa

Shikanoin Heizou really wasn’t your type. Sure he was handsome, and yes, his voice was rather nice to listen to. His flirtatious nature was definitely attractive. If only his face wasn’t so childish looking. And if only he weren’t just a little bit taller. Really, it really was a shame. If it were not for those things, he would have stolen your heart right off the shelves.

And really, it truly was such a shame, for the man was desperately in love with you. Completely head over heels one could say. No matter how many times you tried to shake him off, he chased after you relentlessly. He wanted you with such a passion that you often had to stop your heart from skipping a beat whenever your thoughts inevitably lead toward him.

As you walked down the long hallways of Tenshukaku, you wondered if you’d see him this evening. It was the night of the full moon, after all. Wouldn’t it be such a romantic backdrop to highlight the excitement of the event you were soon to partake? He surely wouldn’t leave you hanging, would he? You did send him an invitation, after all.

So as you stepped into the central room, you couldn’t mask the smile that curled the corners of your lips. It was empty, not that you were very surprised. If you planned it right, the Tenryou Commission and its soldiers were currently occupying the Hiiragi complex on high alert. All that work only for their honored guest of the evening to be a no show. How sad, but it really wasn’t your fault they didn’t know how to read a calling card.

With a soft chuckle, you gazed fondly at the pedestal at the center of the room. There, sitting upon plush velvet, was your target for the evening—a slightly faded black pearl inlaid in a silver ring. It didn’t take you long to pluck it up from its stand to slide over your finger. And, oh, how the luster shined in the moonlight. But as much as you wished to lose yourself in its beauty, duty came calling.

“My my, Detective,” you crooned sweetly, “We really must stop meeting like this.”

A laugh came from behind.

“I gotta hand it to you. When you said you’d be targeting the Evening Moon’s Jewel on a night like this, not even I thought you’d come for the New Moon.”

You spun and leaned against the pedestal with a careless huff.

“Oh come now, Detective,” you cried with a mocking pout. “It shouldn’t have taken you very long to notice the Hiiragi’s Full Moon pearl is nothing better than an elaborate fake. You should be thanking me for giving you a little excitement on such a boring evening.”

He smiled as he took a step forward, his stance purposely relaxed.

“Thank you for breaking the law? We’ve known each other for so long. I must say I’m hurt.”

You grinned cheekily.

“Oh, don’t say that. I was only joking. I was looking ever so forward to meeting you this evening. I really don’t get to see you as often as I would like, you know, so let’s make the most of it, hm?”

And with that anemo powered punch he threw at you soon after, you really hoped he wouldn’t be smart enough to check out the hospital the day after.

[catboygirljoker]

you should say more about lamia. for his fans (me)

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ughgghuuguuguu thank you.....

lamia (he/they) is a bristly autistic motherfucker in his mid-to-late twenties who doesnt take care of himself nearly as well as he ought to. their gut reaction to sincere (or insincere) affection is to panic and tell people to fuck off. they are The Bearer of a Curse. despite The Horrors he fights tooth and nail for a better future for the people around him. actually he fights a little too hard. he could stand to take a nap and eat a bagel or something. their favorite things are sweets, sitting alone on a roof, stimming by killing monsters, and dilfs.

above is an image of the sim i made of them, Happy, and in a Pleasant Conversation. very in character for him tee hee

Deep Lamia Lore under the cut. spoilers for the fic of which i have posted not a single word

also: content warning for speculative fiction parental abuse. putting this below the readmore because the fact that it happens is a spoiler lol

lamia has had horrific nightmares since he was little. their father was a researcher at what i can best describe as a magical laboratory and promised lamia that he would find a way to help them with the nightmares, saying that they're caused by the Darkness in their Heart. in the meantime the nightmares only got worse and worse. well it turns out his dad was lying the entire time. his dad's research was in how to transfer darkness from one person's heart into another's, and he's been transferring his own darkness into lamia's heart the entire time. ("darkness" and "heart" in this case are both pretty vague concepts that can mean a lot of things, this is how ive decided to play with those ideas for this character)

ten years ago the town he grew up in was taken over by an evil witch who unleashed a bunch of monsters on the town and nearly destroyed it, at which time his parents abandoned him because, well, it's not like his dad would be able to continue his research if he couldn't get to the lab. their current occupation is killing monsters and trying to protect people and restore the town. he runs himself absolutely ragged, barely eats, barely sleeps (because nightmares). he has friends, but there's really only so much they can do to support him when they're also trying to do the same thing he is.

despite his bristliness he's also the type of person to just give and give and give of himself until there's nothing left, not out of any kind of misplaced goodhearted altruism necessarily, because he feels he has to. they've had a couple really awful relationships--not abusive per se, but relationships with people who implicitly blamed them for the Darkness in their Heart and wanted to shape them into something more palatable.

this is the short version. and YES theyre a kingdom hearts oc. theyre a very angsty and tonally dissonant kingdom hearts oc. i made them up so they could kiss a weird old man who talks like a surfer. they have a keyblade and everything. its an old rusty broken keyblade that doesnt even work right. but it's like, Themes.

and before anyone is concerned about the age gap, lamia is 1. a fucked up but fully grown adult and 2. the same age or older than some of the most common characters xig is shipped with. so

[boyfrillish]

your works have me curious, what else do ya headcanon for our boy victor? :o (and other chars too! i'm just esp interested in how you filled out his blank slate)

Ohh this is a good one. Since I only played Sword for the first time starting in January, I'm still very much in my formative phase for headcanons and stuff. For most of the characters I can't even say I consciously headcanoned yet, even with all my thinking about everyone and saying "the whole of swsh is my blorbo" (admittedly with most of my focus on Victor and Hop because they're my number one favourites and OTP lol so there are definitely also ship headcanons in here, hope you don't mind! ^^"). I'll put it under a readmore since it kinda got a bit long ^^"

So here's my personal "fixed"/"core" headcanons for Victor when it comes to my own stuff:

he's transmasc and gay (this one was probably obvious since I've made on-text trans references in all but like, two fanfics haha)

he's the one who becomes Champion and is chosen by Zacian

Corviknight, Sylveon, Obstagoon and Toxtricity (evolved from the babby Toxel you get as a gift at the daycare) on the team

Fairy type association

He and Hop won the inaugural Galarian Star Tournament together and are the dream team everyone wants to battle but knows will be tough to beat (Hop calling them "Postwick dream team" is a canon thing, so!)

a short king

Now for personality and other random things? I'm open for so many things lol I did start out (even before I played) with the timid/soft-spoken/shy headcanon and I'm still so very fond of him being timid initially (and that's why Sobble as a starter + the Isle of Armor Kubfu are a perfect fit lol) — whether it's only when he's younger or still at the start of the game but growing confident once he gets his starter from Leon and finds he's pretty good at battling (the fact that he got it as a gift from Leon aka the Champion he admires + big bro of his best friend when Leon met him for the first time combined with Leon just being such a sweet and encouraging dude probably helped with that)

But yeah I'm open for many other headcanons/portrayals in that regard lol cool and confident? bless all the fanart. Easily flustered? sweet. On the oblivious side? heck yes. Sunshine boy? Absolutely, he is a whole sunshine boy 10000000000000%! Just give me all the positive Victor content and I'll probably soak it up happily and cry and have it fuel me lmao thank you for my life.

As for his starter, god I simply cannot decide. I picked Grookey in my game (I really wanted Sobble but joked I was obligated to pick Scorbunny because I like football and then GMax Rillaboom came and said "hi" lol) but as mentioned above I'm so fond of Victor with Sobble. But Scorbunny is also a perfect fit so I've just been rotating around for a bit between my fics (though I think I've yet to actually write him with Scorbunny???). Maybe one of these days I can make up my mind for both him and Hop which starter they choose ^^" in any case: I also live for the whole "they gift each other eggs of their starters and some of their 'mons are partners" thing so there's that (in fact it might've been easy to guess that in my world of things their Corviknight are a partners for sure)

Speaking of Hop, it's my headcanon that Victor has a crush on him pretty much since they're kids/since they first met, and is very much aware of it being a crush that just never leaves and his feelings grow stronger as they grow up. Meanwhile Hop also has a crush all along but is a bit oblivious about how to interpret his own feelings until along on the main story (Leon, meanwhile, guesses pretty easily that his little bro has a giant crush on that friend he keeps talking about all the time and lightly teases him for it, cue denial lol). So much potential for both fluff and a dash of angst... mmmm. By the post-credits story lines Hop definitely had that "Oh." moment and then is even more loud about his crush.

Based on me associating Victor with the fairy type, I have the silly little headcanon that at first he just thinks Bede is kinda funny, then it gets personal when Bede very largely contributes to Hop's mid-story crisis, and then Opal rejects him as a successor candidate only to later scout/adopt Bede in front of him. Cue him solo-ing battles against him with just his Corviknight (ok I admit this last part is also based on how it goes in my game lmao Bede is far too easy to beat... both as an opponent and if I team up with him)

Recently I've really been into the idea that Victor is asked to take over the Flying type Gym a couple of years after becoming Champion and then he's both Champion and also becomes strongest ranked Gym Leader (this is me guessing that since Gym Leaders can win the Championship, it's possible to be a parallel thing/Champions in general have a side thing they're doing rather than just being fulltime Champ, idk lol also, he totally beats Mustard's record for a reigning streak). His ace as a Gym Leader is Corviknight! (because what else would you expect from me, I adore Corviknight hahaha)

Now for "where's his family from" I am not sure if I have a "proper" headcanon yet. I've seen the headcanon that the protagonist's family is from Sinnoh and I like that hc, so I adopted that for the meet-cute drabble I wrote earlier this week but with a spin where I kinda combined it with some inspo from Elio|Selene (i.e. Dad's still working in Sinnoh/often away for work + combined with the headcanon I've seen for Elio|Selene's mom that she does have an Alolan background. unrelated sidenote, I'm really fond of the Alola protags' mom lol she's sweet). So basically like with all these other things I'm just having fun playing around with different possibilities at this point!

I'm also so very fond of flower boi Victor and it's one of my headcanons that he loves exploring and really loved the Crown Tundra adventures (and didn't mind that Sonia asked him to do all the work finding the Swords of Justice + was happy about the praise). He really enjoys tagging along with Hop and/or Sonia for fieldwork, and the two make it a habit to invite him along since they value his input and also want to make sure he gets breaks to destress from everything that comes along with being the reigning Champion, especially as the one who caught Eternatus + gained the title when he beat Leon. Especially Hop invites him along since that also doubles as more time together when they're both often busy with their career paths. Also on that note, Leon and Sonia being Victor and Hop's mentor figures just makes me so soft 🥺 the Leon being Victor's mentor doubly so with the headcanon that Leon is transmasc too (which unlike transmasc Victor I can't say is a "fixed" hc yet but I'm very fond of the idea)

(also, while I'm now all on the "Victor is a total career Champ/Gym Leader and thriving" train at this point, I still live for the type of angst where he gets a little bit of selfdoubt crisis — in the early years somewhat more subtle and like a case of stagefright like in my drabble "Believe", then a bit more into the future it's like "oh god what do I even do when I inevitably lose the Championship, can I even continue as a Gym Leader if I lose my title, this is kind of all I have going for me what do I do" but he gets through it since he has such a supportive network of loved ones and friends. Also another tangent here, I also love the idea of Victor as a (part-time) model so lol he definitely has a lot more than just a fulltime battle career)

He likes hanging out in Spikemuth with Marnie, Piers, and Team Yell, and especially Obstagoon and Toxtricity really have fun when they do. On a related note, I like the idea that Team Yell kind of become Victor stans too because Marnie thinks highly of him, so they cheer for him together with her (whenever she's not the one battling him in a match, obviously lol)

I've already rambled so much about various aspects I could think of ahaha so now since I've already talked about Hop + this is a trainshipping zone, I'll add some of my "core" headcanons for him!

is gay (or not clearly labeled but definitely likes boys. this is coming from someone who's very "???" about labels re: my own orientation but definitely is a boy-liker lol so please excuse the bit of vaguess here despite listing it in my core hcs hahaha)

chosen by Zamazenta (easy to guess when Vic is chosen by Zacian)

he's so supportive of Victor's transition, regardless of whether or not Leon is also trans, but it's a bonus when he already grew up with a trans big bro and then his best friend/crush is trans too and that's his two most favourite people in the world so of course he'll do anything to be supportive

fighting type association

he grows tall like Leon

He'd often ramble to Victor about what he's studying and Victor is always happy to listen and loves when he's so excited, so it basically turns into Victor helping him study. Also, they both make sure the other gets enough rest and destresses, already through their teens but especially when they're both grown up and Victor is still Champion (+ a Gym Leader) while Hop is now a fully fledged Professor. Even way into the future it remains a Thing that Hop excitedly rambles about his research or rants when he's stuck on something, and Victor is happy to listen and try to help him get unstuck (and Hop gives him a big smooch in thanks even if all Vic did was just listen and ask questions to hear more).

Most random thing but I so love the idea of either (or both) of them having freckles and same for glasses... bless all the fanarts with glasses for either of them. And while I also love fanart of Prof Hop wearing a more formal look, it's my wholehearted believe that he'll still wear the signature trackies look just with a labcoat now (and — you guessed it — Vic hogs his jackets. Nevermind that he has all the hoodies and fancy jackets and everything, the boyfriend jacket is so much comfier than anything else).

And I'm going to end this looooong ramble to mention that I've been developing fankids for them too! I already talked about them over on twitter and I'll probably talk about them here eventually too haha

Thank you so much for sending this ask, I was "!!!" when I saw it last night and couldn't help myself from rambling on forever lol. I kept the focus exclusively on Victor featuring Hop & them as a couple since they're my main focus so I have a lot more concrete thoughts about them than for any of the other characters (or ships bc I don't quite actively have side ships). But maybe I'll talk a little about others at another opportunity haha.

[various-things]

This is a little retrospective on things I made in 2023

Fic and video edits (mostly the latter, not counting clip compilations). Because slow progress is progress and it's nice to look at it all together. Putting this under a readmore since it's going to be long.

Video edits:

January: Julian x Garak: I Wanna Be Yours (Star Trek: DS9) This was a very simple edit I made in like a day (most complex edits take me a very long time; I'm a slow editor). The song doesn't fit my headcanon for them very strongly but it was fun, I'm just gonna quote part of what what I said in the description on YT "I really enjoy moments in my edits/making edits that focus on where characters get to kind of exist in contexts/settings/we can spend some time as a viewer in the moment with them." March: A lot of these I was working on wellll before March, the two succession vids are based on S3 stuff. Kendall Roy: Elijah (Succession) (mind the content warnings on this one) I actually think this is one of the best edits I've ever made and I'm quite proud of it overall. I would have liked to have done a better job of balancing the audio of Kendall's dialogue but otherwise I'm really pleased with it. Julian x Garak: Stay Soft (Star Trek: DS9) First finished more-complex garashir edit! I'm overall pretty happy with it. ✨🪩 pain 🪩 ✨ Roman Roy: The Metronome (Succession) (mind the content warnings) Quite happy with this one as well. I think a big reason that I tend to like my Succession edits so much (I think they're probably my best work) is just how good the cinematography of the show is and how much I vibe with it. April: Julian x Garak: Plans (Star Trek: DS9) (mind the cws) Bloc Party <3 Quoting how I described it in the tumblr post "I’ve got like a lot of thoughts about it but it’s broadly about like… violence and sacrifice and what people are capable of, ways people misunderstand Julian, and Garak and Julian’s friendship." I missed a frame of a following shot at one point, alas, but this was a fun very-dense with dialogue and lyrics one. June:

Tom x Shiv: Heat Lightning (Succession) More Mitski! (I have two other DS9 Mitski WIPs also) Like the quote above where I mention characters existing in contexts and settings, this really feels like a peak of me doing that for me, it's mostly them sitting/lying down/standing quietly and not being happy. Also did some juxtaposition against shots without people in it. Quite pleased with it.

August: Shax fancam (Good Omens) I did this in Final cut and Oh the effort into making those transitions happen. Here's the version on tiktok but I uh... the captions did not turn out well but they are synced to the audio. Aziraphale x Crowley: De Selby (1) (Good Omens) I made this one quite quickly as well, in under 2 days I think. Overall pretty happy with it except for the fact that I had a lot of trouble with the audio levels and I think re: overall structure of the edit that it lost some of its oomph towards the end, but I don't really know what I would have done differently with the latter. Some of the transitions in this were fairly complex and I'm mostly happy with them. The YouTube version unfortunately is pretty... artifact-y? November: I got Capcut sometime in the fall. Everything from here on out that I've posted this year has been made in that. Still vastly prefer Final Cut if I don't need fancy transitions, but harddrives and needing to update things etc. I'm also not putting anything else on YouTube until I finish my brightness edits. These two juxtaposition-y popular tiktok sound edits. (1) (2) (Star Trek: DS9) Quark bottom edit (18+) (Star Trek: DS9) - Very pleased with this. December: All of these were made pretty quickly (by my standards). a garashir edit to "Atlantis" by Seafret (Star Trek: DS9) Mostly made this out of wanting to finish something and the cuts feel a bit too fast for me but hey the act of creation! a short murder-y Garak phonk edit to BRODYAGA FUNK by Eternxlkz Mostly pleased with this. Still getting the hang of various transition things. a garashir edit to Placebo's "Running up that Hill" the text animation is kind of a mess (even on the version without the lyrics the captions are too big—I'm still figuring out caption size stuff re: what to choose) which is a shame, but I do like some of the clip timings (though some others don't quite work for me and I would have liked the cuts to have been a bit smoother in some places) and also hey made and finished something

Fic

Tuscany and New York (Succession) - [fic abandoned/not to be completed] Started this one and then chose not to finish it. However, one thing I was really enthused by was seeing part of an argument I wrote have a big parallel with what ended up in a scene on the actual show in S4. Felt very affirming re: my understanding of the characters.

with hope in your hands (Star Trek: DS9 [WIP] This is a fic I started as part of ectogeo's Garashir Wedding Registry. It's kind of a (mostly) Julian POV of the events in the continuity where ASIT/The Nexus/The Calling happened but it's also a reflection on some of Julian's closer relationships and where things related to marriage/possibilities of marriage came up within some of that. I'm currently almost done with chapter 4. 1: (Star Trek: DS9)

I think my lack of titles here and this standalone fic's place within a series probably has affected how likely folks are to read it but it's a short fic that is mostly Garak on the Defiant after it leaves Cardassia in Second Skin. Initially put most of this on tumblr but then properly put it on ao3.

2/3 ficlets for the rare pare ficlet game hellostuffedtiger made: Garak/Sloan, Julian/Picard

[pantheramore]

For Anita; 🥰,🎞️, ☕️, and 📝!

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

I think it'd be easy for someone to swing Anita either too far into their giddiness and curiosity, but also just as likely to swing them too far into their more cynical, antisocial side. They're both equally fun to explore, but I think someone who truly understood Anita would know that they only allow a select few other people see their genuine happiness and curiosity because they feel like it would otherwise undermine the tough, intimidating facade they put on.

🎞️: What ‘canon’ scenes would the fandom point to as evidence for the validity of your ship?

Mordecai and Anita knew each other as teens back when they both lived in New York. They eventually lost contact, but when they met again in St. Louis, their friendship is pretty awkward and distant in comparison to what it used to be.

After Mordecai gets injured during the cabin incident, Anita finally works up the courage to talk to him and help him with small favors like making him tea, and that's where their relationship reignites and they finally acknowledge to themselves in their own ways that that they missed each other.

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

If it's not the tiniest little ember of a ridiculously drawn out slowburn, it's probably how their relationship developed from when they reunited at Lackadaisy to how they got together.

📝: How would your story in canon go? How would you influence the events of the original story?

Putting this one under a readmore cuz I'm just gonna go full details but tldr:

Anita and Mordecai knew each other as kids, lost contact, then eventually met up again. It took them a while to get together romantically due to their own personal hang ups, but eventually their trust in each other allows them to conspire against Lackadaisy for the purpose of keeping Anita's job afloat. Also they murdered Kehoe.

First thing's first. There's this little bit from the Lackawiki-

That person that Mordecai had a crush on is Anita, and their story is an exploration of if well, it did go beyond that.

So when Anita and Mordecai meet each other again they're initally pretty nervous and guarded because they're still very cautiously like "is it really you???"

When they realize that yes, it is them, Mordecai tries to distance himself because he assumes Anita probably hates him for leaving all of the sudden back when they were kids after he refused to associate with Anita out of fear of what they would think of him if they found out that he had killed someone, and Anita is a mix between angry he left, happy he's here, and nervous and unsure if Mordecai is interested in rebuilding their friendship, but because he's so distant, Anita assumes he's not interested.

While yes, Mordecai's interest in relationships in general is pretty fleeting, in reality he's mostly just closed off and traumatized.

Anita considers trying to reach out to him but they get too nervous, and they have to leave on another rumrun, and they end up missing him while they're gone. So when Anita returns, they want to figure out how to grab his attention, but they get nervous again and this cycle happens over and over again for a few months until theyre sick of it and begin just... doing anonymous small favors for him, particularly after he gets injured in the cabin incident. Eventually Anita starts leaving Mordecai short notes, just asking him how he's doing and attempting to catch up with him after so long. Mordecai is kinda confused by this at first, but being able to write back helps him collect his thoughts better than talking in person.

Eventually they're writing each other about their personal lives, even though they see each other somewhat often in person, but they don't really talk much in person, though eventually they start sitting closer together or doing crossword puzzles together, although its still kinda rough bc Anita doesn't really understand Mordecai's boundaries yet bc so much has changed for him since they were teens and he's become a lot less emotionally responsive since. This makes Anita wonder if he's trying to keep them distant, but they still see glimpses of who he used to be and Anita starts falling for him again, though this time, their infatuation with him is less about them bonding over their shared interests and similar personalities, and more about the fact that Anita finds solace and familiarity in his presence amidst the chaos of the bootlegging business.

But they're hesitant to actually pursue a relationship because they aren't sure if he's actually interested, or if having to deal with his less pleasant moments is worth it, or if one of them is gonna die and leave the other heartbroken.

But the more Anita thinks about it, the more they feel like they'll never know if anything will ever happen if they don't at least try, not to mention Anita is the sort to chase whatever they desire despite the risks, so Anita started writing him a love letter.

They're having trouble wording the letter right, and the closer together they become the more Anita feels the urge to tell him, especially since Mordecai's not making any indication about what sort of relationship he wants with Anita.

Anyway after a while Anita's just at their limit and they end up rambling to him about it incoherently, but that only puts more distance between them again because Mordecai doesn't want Anita to be in danger by being drawn to him, even if he doesn't want to actually say it, and he just doesn't know how to process all that.

Anita, on the other hand is dealing with feelings of shame and embarassment for telling him, and just generally feeling defeated, but Mordecai isn't so distant that he's shunned their relationship entirely. He still writes letters, and eventually they're back where they were before and they just... don't really talk about the confession.

In reality, Mordecai also has feelings for Anita but doesn't want to act on them or show any interest because hes scared that something could happen to Anita and then he'd be hurt and alone again, and he'd feel like its his fault, especially because he doesn't want to feel like it's his fault for losing the last thing that represents his (relative) childhood innocence by hurting the only person who remained in his life after he left New York, plus, he really just doesn't know what to do.

Eventually though, Mordecai and Anita find themselves in some conflict while Anita's trying to make a dropoff, and they have to defend themselves from some hijackers. Anita isn't a great fighter or anything but they at least held their own, which allows Mordecai to drop his guard a bit, but he tells Anita that he's going to start working on making sure they can defend themselves. He says hes doing it so that a situation like that doesn't happen again, and thats what hes telling himself too, but in reality, he wants to be sure that Anita is safe so that he doesn't have to worry about them so much, and if he doesn't have to worry, then he can afford to get a little closer to them.

By this point, they're hanging out together outside of work and they're pretty close, so Anita decides to shoot their shot again and writes him another letter, basically asking if he's interested in them, but without the expectation that they should be in a relationship. Mordecai says yes, and they slowly start to let the relationship become more romantic at a more natural pace.

While all their interpersonal stuff is going on, Anita is working for Captain Kehoe, but after a series of hijackings and a police raid, the business is barely staying afloat, and Anita's getting fed up with Kehoe for the fact that they're not seeing much financial recovery due to their percieved incompetence of Kehoe.

Anita wants to switch to supplying to Marigold, who, while not as large as Lackadaisy yet, is growing switftly both in size and reputation, and wants in on that growth, however Kehoe thinks that investing into better liquor to meet Marigold's standards is a waste of money.

However, after Atlas dies and Lackadaisy's business begins to plummet, Kehoe must begin supplying cheaper and cheaper liquor, due to the Lackadaisy being the only large speakeasy desperate enough to buy from them just to stay afloat.

Mordecai has moved on to Marigold, though he has a much more peaceful "parting" with Anita than he did with Viktor, primarily because it wasn't a parting at all. He already knows that Anita wants to supply for Marigold, and has been helping them, behind the back of Mitzi, negotiate a business deal with Asa. Mordecai and Anita also conspire to murder Kehoe so that Anita can take over the business.

Though the details of the murder aren't clear to Lackadaisy yet (Mitzi thinks that both Anita and Kehoe are dead at the moment) Kehoe's sudden murder leaves them struggling for a new supplier so desperately that that's what leads them to turn to the Arbogasts despite their current ties to Marigold.

[liltaz-asatreat]

5, 6, 7, and 10 for Meadow? :D

OC question list here!! <- send some in? :D

So this got really long because I never know when to shut up, so I'm putting this under a readmore lol

(Also, I explained some stuff in detail that I've already told you for the benefit of anyone else who might read this lol)

5. What are their regrets?

There's a lot of things Meadow regrets on a daily basis lol But there are quite a few long lasting big ones. Like the obvious enacting the Relic plan, not listening to Lucretia, and not being able to save Phandalin. Then there's two things he regrets from childhood: not running away from home sooner and simultaneously leaving his then six year old cousin whom he was pretty close to. He also regrets spending so much time fighting with himself during the decade post voidfishing and the fact that he was only able to get very little done and caused himself a lot more stress and heartache than was strictly necessary. And the fact that he can't just turn off his brain and go to sleep to escape his thoughts like other people can unless one of his bodies dies. And there's two things that happen during the fic that he comes to regret doing and/or not doing, but those are spoilers >:)

And then the two really big ones is the defining backstory moment of coming across the Word Weaver's Amulet (the Grand Relic they made) and giving it to Astra, their then best friend who I still haven't decided if they're just best friends or if there were romantic feelings involved. Every time I think I've decided on one, I end up changing my mind again, but regardless, they were really close. And Astra said she thought it was beautiful and really wanted it, and when they both came across it, they had been going on a walk to try and cheer Astra up and get her to clear her head because she was having a really bad day, so Meadow, famously unable to say no to anything even though they had the gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, gave it to her. The fallout of how she used the Relic and what exactly transpired is a spoiler, but she definitely dies which is how Meadow ended up with it again, and they've regretted everything ever since.

The second big one is, because during the Stolen Century, they were able to save Meadow's body from the Plane of Logic from the Hunger, and both of his bodies were on the ship for the rest of the century and until Lucretia dropped his Logic Body off in the Faerun's reality's Plane of Logic, Meadow was always up in one body or the other, by nature of that's just how he works, so he was awake when Lup was about to leave the Starblaster for the final time before she disappeared. He saw her before she left, and they had a short conversation where Meadow knew something was wrong, and he thought he helped her to feel better, which in all fairness, he did a little, but Lup still wanted to have some alone time and clear her head down on the planet and then everything that happened afterward happened. So Meadow regrets not stopping her from leaving or at least not going down to the surface with her.

And tbh, because of Meadow being awake 24/7, they had taken it upon themself/was designated to be the person on watch at night throughout the century after both of their bodies were on the ship because all of the others needed sleep and didn't have a fancy shmancy second body to be awake in after going to bed. So because they were up and because they had talked to Lup before she left, Taako mostly, but Barry too to an extent, kind of blamed them for her disappearance. Barry would never say it out loud, but I feel like Taako might have snapped at them once about it, but like, Meadow knew. At that point, they had known them for long enough that they could tell for sure it wasn't just their brain being mean and jumping to conclusions, they were acting a little hostile toward them toward the end there.

6. What are their biggest fears?

Everything lol They're a big ball of anxiety and stress-

No. Well, they are a big ball of anxiety and stress and are a very fearful person, but they aren't afraid of everything.

They are, ironically, very afraid of heights lol The only reason they agreed to go on the Starblaster mission was because they couldn't pass up the opportunity to go to space and explore the space between the planes and do all of that cool stuff. As soon as the opportunity came up, that was basically all they wanted to do and the thing they wanted to get most out of life because they love the stars and space and exploring and everything about it! And how they figured they could get around the height issue was that they could just stay away from the railing and stay toward the center of the ship, and maybe if there wasn't a ground or a metric in which to gauge how high up he'd be, he would be fine.

I think during the century he learned how to push past it mostly out of necessity, but by the time they made it to Faerun, and Material Meadow lost his memories, his issue with heights hit him full force again tenfold, and he has to fight to remain calm while traveling in the cannonball spheres and looking down from the moon base and all that lol

Then, of course, he has a normally paralyzing fear of failure that he has to push through to get literally anything done in the story and honestly, during the century.

And then they never had a good working memory before the voidfishing, so they already hated the idea of losing any more memories. The voidfishing exasperated that into a full blown near phobia of losing memories, especially really important ones.

And then there's the fear of losing everyone and everything permanently and the fear that everyone is going to leave him, especially for reasons they refuse to tell him, so he wouldn't understand why they decided to leave him in the first place.

And then there's the double related fears: Falling asleep while they're in danger because someone decided to wake them up on the other side, especially if they refuse to let them go back to sleep, and someone finding out about them having a double and attacking him or leaving him or ostracizing him because they either don't believe him, refuse to take it seriously, or outright hate him for it

7. How do they cope with stress?

LOL

List making! Mental breakdowns! But mostly they write. Poetry for the most part is their form of journaling, but sometimes they just write out their thoughts too. If they have an idea for a short story, they'll work on that too as usually a more maintenance kind of thing and not something they'd do in the moment of feeling very overwhelmed, and they never really have the time to try and write a whole novel or something. At least, for the most part they didn't. There was that short period of time during the decade where they were at the writing guild Lucretia sent them to in the Material Plane, the Ink Spill Guild, where they had the time to work on a novel because they were ignoring the instructions they were leaving for themself that they made when they actually remembered everything. And they might have been working on a novel, idk. Sounds fun and very much something I would do lol But after that, Meadow spent most of their time adventuring, and then when they got up to the moon base, trying to figure out where the second voidfish was and what the plan was going to be then now that they found Lucretia.

As for when they're in the Plane of Logic though, they didn't give themself as much time to write because they were struggling so hard to get their spaceship built and off the ground, both in the physical aspect of actually researching it and doing it and also fighting the paralysis they usually get when they get super stressed and scared/anxious about something. And the whole possibly being the only one of their family who remembers anything besides Lucretia, but only when they're on a plane where they can't really do much about it, and that means they might be the only person with a chance of stopping Lucretia from destroying the Material Plane and putting their family back together thing is kind of really stressful lol

To compensate for that, Meadow throws himself full force into building the spaceship when he's particularly stressed because it's something to do with his hands and is something that is supposed to get him closer to reaching his goal. Sometimes if they're stuck on how to do something to actually continue building onto the ship but can't focus on reading and researching or even thinking really hard, they take apart and put back together some other component that doesn't really need fixing.

He also sometimes lets Sparrow and their friends forcibly drag him away to hang out with them, and that makes him feel better and less alone. Also eventually talking to Barry helps even if when he does it, he doesn't remember their shared history, and Barry can't tell him anything about it yet, and also hanging out with Merle, Magnus, and Taako.

Back on the Starblaster, Taako and Lup also brought them into learning how to bake :>

And then when things are really shitty, sometimes they dissociate and just check out completely. On top of that, sometimes it'll happen as they are in an immediate stressful situation, especially if they're trying to talk to someone, much to their extreme annoyance because it's really hard to fight it off and come back to reality. They very rarely ever succeed at it.

10. Who is someone they miss?

Astra and Lup definitely, and Lucretia and Davenport and all of them. Even when he joins the Bureau and sees most of them again, he misses how their relationships with each other used to be and the fact that none of them, including him while he's actually physically there with them remember except for Barry and Lucretia. It's this weird feeling of simultaneously being super happy to see them while also still feeling very far away and disconnected when he's awake in the Plane of Logic because he's no longer there and he remembers Davenport being able to talk and Lucretia not holding them all at arm's length and lying to them all the time and being able to hug Barry and Lup being there and the other boys sharing almost everything and all of them being a family. He's able to enjoy being in their presence more, for the most part, while he's there and with them because he doesn't remember the history, but that just makes him miss them more when he wakes up and does remember.

They also really miss Fisher, and while they hang out with it and Johann sometimes, it's still not the same. Both because of the memory thing and also because, while it's Lucretia's fault for erasing everyone's memories, Fisher still had the power to do that, and it didn't broadcast it out after realizing no one could remember and that everyone was gone. So there's also a certain level of wariness and fear I think

And then they do miss their parents to an extent. I mean, they're their parents. And there were good times with them while they were growing up. And they also really miss their cousin that they were close to.

Also, even though Meadow is a self insert and I have siblings, I decided against giving Meadow siblings because, well, not only does Meadow run away from home and leave everyone behind when he's 14, but like, the Hunger and the end of the world happened, and it felt really gross and wrong to be like, yeah! Meadow is me and also all of his siblings died tragically during the apocalypse. I just can't do that. But! I needed a child relative substitute that Meadow would have been close to because an event that happens about them is the catalyst of Meadow finally deciding to run away. I felt like having them be a cousin was enough degree of separation for me to be more comfortable with especially since the event is probably only going to be referenced in a passing one sentence comment, if that, during the Chalice scene. So that's why the cousin exists

[chiropteracupola]

Is it too late to ask about wips? (Yes, yes, I'm greedy, I know!)

harold they're wet

cold cold take two

uh oh lads it's alan breck again

alan just happens so much

it's never too late to ask me about my wips!

'harold they're wet' is one of those ones that acquired a nonsensical just-to-divide-the-document title that has really nothing to do with the contents of the fic in the slightest, but I've kept the name around because of the silliness. and silliness is what's in what I've actually written as well so far, because it's just little scraps and bits of describing the weather and Keith and Ewen's reactions to it.

'cold cold cold' is sort of a rewrite of my previous Graçay fic, which I'm no longer entirely satisfied with. while there's a lot that I did there that I liked, I have some other angles that I'd like to get at and a rather darker take on Hornblower's mental state at that time that I've been sort of rotating gently around.

'uh oh lads it's alan breck again' - another semi-rewrite of a previous fic! my first fic for Alan and David was kind of a rushed job, and almost as soon as I'd finished it, I wanted to approach the same missing scene from a more in-depth viewpoint. so this is going to fill in the space where the book leaves off and that begins, and perhaps, depending on how things go, write over my previous attempt with a different take on their reconciliation.  also I think it does comes across that I was writing while sick, stressed, and awake at 4am in the first iteration, so I’m hoping to improve on that a little.

'alan just happens so much' is possibly my favorite of my fics for Kidnapped so far, despite the fact that I have very little idea of where it's going to go in the slightest. since we see a lot of David getting hurt and Alan having to help him through it in the book, I thought it might be fun to reverse that relationship for once and see how Alan reacts to receiving a more physical consequence for his constant brushes with danger!

(rather short, sadly, as none of these are all that realized at the moment) tasting platter of snippets under the readmore:

harold they're wet:

The air tasted of summer, the leftover smell of warm wet soil rising from the ground as it always did after a rain. A wind of delicate but slowly increasing intensity tickled at Ewen’s arms and tossed the ends of his still-wet hair, carrying with it the faint tang of river-water. By the gathering blue clouds in the distance, there would be thunderstorms in a matter of hours, but for the moment, the day was bright and glorious.

Bright it remained despite the first scattering of rain, the movement of the air almost tangible all around him. The sun-shower that had come up was warm enough that he felt the need to enjoy it as long as it lasted, relishing the feeling of the rain against his shoulders.

cold cold cold:

That was William Bush as he had always been — soft blue eyes and a too-loyal heart and a warm, hard hand reaching out to him. But he took that hand, that sturdy lifeline, and held it between his own as if it was the last thing holding him in the living world.

In that seemingly-interminable carriage journey, he had come to know Bush’s hands better than ever he had hoped in years of watching them at their work. Though the familiar tan had faded in those sunless weeks, they were still half callus and half scar, made worn by their capability and made capable by that same wear. Hornblower’s own hands were knobbly and ungainly, even more so in such direct comparison, but he gripped Bush’s hand as firmly as he felt was safe and allowed himself to be drawn closer.

Bush reached up and put his free hand to Hornblower’s mouth, gently brushing his thumb over the place where his lip was cut and swollen. Being forced down against the riverbed had left him considerably battered, the side of his face bruised and scraped where it had made far too familiar an acquaintance with a sharp rock, and though it did not now cause him much more than a dull and constant ache, he shied away from the touch all the same. He knew his own inadequacy as well as he knew anything at all, but to have it marked so pointedly by Bush was another sort of shame entirely; scowling, Hornblower turned his face away.

uh oh lads it's alan breck again:

At last he slipped into sleeping, for though their journeying had not weakened him as it had David, he still was greatly in need of rest. His shoulders slumped and his head dipped to rest against the side of the bed, but even so, his hand, the best help that he could yet offer, stayed firmly wrapped around that of his friend. Alan Breck was a gambling man in all things, for he borrowed and bet with his own life and others’ lives as easily as he spun cards and coins from one hand to the other. There was a flitting, frisking sort of madness that came over him oftener than otherwise, that kept him leaping, laughing, from one caper to the next. But whatever he’d made and so nearly broken with David was not something to be bargained away. Their friendship had not been forged to hold the dull shine of worn-down silver, but the bright strong gleam of tempered steel.

alan just happens so much:

“Dead!” said he, a flash of triumph shining across his face like a lightning-strike. But like the lightning it was gone within a blink, and as he tugged his sword free of his fallen opponent, Alan made a sharp sudden inward breath and fell forward. The sword-hilt slipped from his hand and clattered against the stones, and its master tumbled so that he lay nearly upon it, all in a mess of torn blue cloth and tarnished silver lace.

David rushed over to him, finding himself kneeling at his side almost at the same moment he was conscious of intending to do that very thing. Alan had fallen upon his face with his legs folded haphazardly beneath him, his feather-trimmed hat lying in the heather a few feet away. Even in falling, Alan had curled himself securely around the more major injuries, and as David put a hand on each of his shoulders and lifted him into a sitting position, he saw that his face was still all a-snarl with anger and pain.

“How are you hurt?” David asked, but as he drew back his hand, his question was answered. His palm was smeared across with blood, the same blood that was currently in the process of seeping its way through Alan’s coat-sleeve and down his arm.

Alan stared down at his hand, the fingers stilled but shining with blood, all of him eaten up by horror. Words came to him, but they were empty, a hollow shadow of their usual shine. This was not right — this should have been a victory to be crowed over, a new verse to the song of his own glory and his own strength, but it was no such thing. Instead, that strength already seemed to ebb from him and that glory was nothing but ash almost as soon as it had sprung to light.

“It’s no’ so bad as that,” he insisted, his voice unsteady.