#i really want to have this done before Christmas!

[tempered-grace]

GET CROCHETED YOU NERD (affectionate)

details below

the little guy is about 3 1/2 inches tall and crocheted out of regular embroidery thread! no pattern just vibes, plus a lot of embroidery and edge crocheting (as a side note. metallic embroidery thread is of the devil and i never want to touch it again)

Legs and body were crocheted together, the head is all white with the mouth area done in tapestry crochet, then the eyes, logo, and gold detail were embroidered on when i was done. The cloak, leg things, and pauldron were all crocheted separately and sewed in place (although really only the pauldron is sewn in place, the cloak and leg things are kind of just tied on)

The arms were also sewn on lol

Then at the last minute I added the necklace and the little "sword" -- which is literally just sewn with a couple passes of thread onto the hand

The little loop is because he's meant to be a little backpack charm or ornament or something (if anyone makes one and hangs it on a christmas tree, PLEASE let me know!) but it could easily be taken off so he's just a little figurine

If you really really want a pattern, DM me and I'll try to remember what I did lol

the base body is really simple, both the legs are:

sc 6 in a magic ring. (inc, sc) around to get 9 stitches. work 8 more rows.

Then you join them together, work two or three rows in the torso and switch to dark grey. I think I did about 7 or 8 rounds just sc, then on the next one decreased to 12 st. at this point I stuffed it (with scrap fabric since i didnt actually have stuffing lmao) and then decreased to 6.

The head is just as simple, although there's a little colorwork involved that you can kind of just eyeball. I started with 6 in a magic ring, and increased to 12, then 18, then 24. I worked about 5 rounds of just white, then on the next round started on the colorwork. It was just 3 or 4 stitches of grey, which I then carried around the rest of the round. The next round of colorwork was worked along with decreases, but I essentially just added another grey stitch or two on each side of the section from the previous round. Then For the next round of decreases I just did all grey, same with the last round. Again, I stuffed it after decreasing to 12 stitches in the round.

The head and body are sewn together like any other stuffed creature. The arms are basically the same as the legs, except once finished they are flattened at the open end and sewn to the junction between the head and body after being stuffed.

The cloak was. annoying. but essentially i made a chain, and crocheted in a "c" shape (so i would go around one end, but at the other would stop and turn. The end where you go around becomes the hood. For the little sleeves, I just chained about 5 and skipped 3 stitches, eyeballing where they would go by holding the cloak up to the body.

The leg things and pauldron were a series of sc, hdc, dc, picot, hdc, sc worked flat, then going and doing the same thing in the back loop. For the leg things, since they have a point at the top of the knee, I went all the way around and did the same thing twice, once on each side of the cast on chain.

Then of course, everything is finished with sc around the edges in gold thread.

The pauldron i slip stitched around to prevent it from getting too bulky, really either one works depending what you prefer.

The mask like i said before is all embroidered, I used three strands for the logo and the full six for the eyes. the gold around the mouth of the mask is chain stitch, but you could also surface crochet i guess

thats about it, I haven't added the feathers yet but I imagine it'll just be a bunch of loops of black thread sewn to the back of the cloak, I'll probably reblog with how i did it.

Also, as a final note, I made this on the 12th but scheduled it a couple days later since its SOMEONE'S birthday gift!

[etherealily]

ᴘᴇᴛᴛʏ // ɴᴀᴛᴇ ᴊᴀᴄᴏʙꜱ

My other Nate fics, if you have the time.

Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader.

Warnings : Cussing. Slight NSFW (non-explicit bc it's me). Long but (hopefully) worth it.

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : Revenge is a dish best served cold-hearted.

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Nate's never really been one for one night stands. Yeah, he knows that he seems like the type, but honestly, he was deathly scared of STDs and shit, and plus, he worried that if he didn't stay with the girl and give her a relationship, she might say some bullshit around about how bad he was in bed. It was pathetic, he knew it, but that's a really hard thing to discredit, because what would he even do? Fuck the entire female population in the district to prove her wrong?

That being said, he was only a man, at the end of the day. Alcohol and women, bro, lethal fucking combination.

So, when his hand finally stopped pressing the side of your face down into the pillow and he finally pulled out, his dread came faster than he did.

He flopped down onto the bed beside you, attempting to catch his breath while curiously watching your back still facing him. "You okay?" He seemed more confused than concerned. Like his dick was the fucking godfather of all dicks, and there was no reason for you not to be anything short of grateful.

You seemed to jerk out of your thoughts then, and turned to him, bunching the sheets up to your chest. "Yeah, no, yeah.", you replied, eyebrows twitching as if unsure whether they wanted to frown or furrow.

"What is it?", he asked, narrowing his eyes as he tossed you your clothes.

The corners of your lips turned down, and you shook your head. "Nothing."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?", he asked, sitting up and stretching for a single, peaceful moment, before he stalked over to his bathroom.

"Like what?"

He scoffed from inside, splashing water from the running tap onto his eyes, before glaring at himself in the mirror. "Like I just hit the second tower.", he called.

You didn't respond as he cleaned himself up, and he rolled his eyes. "What, too dark for you?"

Nate pulled on a fresh pair of boxers after he was done, and stuck his head out the door, gesturing that it was your turn. He stopped you as you passed by him, though, tilting his head down at you. "Did you not come?"

Fuck. You'd been under the impression that he was too drunk to have noticed that look on your face, and now he was just spot-on with the observation? "No, I just, uh..." Think, fuck! "...I feel like I recognize you, from somewhere.", you lied.

He let go of your elbow, letting you go in and clean yourself up as he settled on the edge of his bed, unlocking his phone. "From where?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, could he not just shut up? Alright, wait. You'd seen dumbbells in his room, meaning he was a gym-guy. So the gym would be a safe option to say, but then again, he had all the shit in his room, why would he pay for a membership? "Football.", you blurted out.

Silence. "Oh, yeah, I'm QB for East Highland."

Sheer, dumb luck. God couldn't help you out in exams, but would have your back with lying to a lousy hookup? Priorities, man, come on.

"Right, probably there."

"So, you from around here, then? Like, what's the deal? Haven't seen you before at my games."

You really wanted to stay in the fucking bathroom, because how fucking awkward was this shit gonna be when you got out? Walk of shame, questions from your Aunt Leslie, shit.

"No, I live in New York. I'm just visiting my cousins and my aunt for Christmas."

He leaned back against his headboard, his eyes illuminated by his phone screen as he typed your name into Instagram. How the hell did you have so many mutuals with him? "Oh. Cool.", he called, cursing under his breath. Of course your fucking profile was private. You had hardass written all over you.

You took a deep breath. It didn't fucking matter, you were drunk. Yeah. You were drunk, you didn't have sex, you were just drunk and roaming the streets. 'Sorry, Aunt L, I just didn't know my limits. Yeah, sorry. I won't do it again.' Good. Alibi prepped.

Biting your hair tie from your wrist and tugging it up to tie your hair, you were just about ready to— no.

A fucking hickey?! Was he a fucking dumbass?

You practically broke the door handle, with how aggressive you were, and you walked out the bathroom to the sweet release of AC. At least he wasn't that much of a dumbass.

He shut his phone off, scratching at his jaw and scrambling for small talk before the dreaded post-coital analysis that was sure to come. "So, who's your cousin?"

With his luck, it'd be Maddy.

"Uh, Rue and Gia Bennett, you know them?"

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, scratch that, his luck was fucking amazing tonight.

A smirk. A shift in the sheets, and he was entirely facing you. "Yeah?"

"You know her?"

"Small town."

You nodded, your fingers picking at the edge of your phonecase. "You close?"

"No."

Once more, you replied with a nod, switching on your phone. Okay, curfew was twelve for you, eleven for Rue, it was ten forty-five. So, you had ten minutes to get back to the party — wait, why had you even fucking left? Like you couldn't have hooked up at the party? God, alcohol should be banned around you, you'd just followed some guy back to his house to hook up, with nothing but a fucking name, and you'd just told him you weren't from here, who your family was— fuck! You were a danger to yourself with alcohol.

"How far is your house from the party?"

He raised a brow. "Like, two or three blocks."

Huh.

"Why?"

"I need to get back, pick up my cousin, take her home."

"Rue.", he said, maybe as a giddy little reminder to himself.

"Yeah, Rue. I can't let her stay unsupervised at a party. She's a recov—"

"Yeah, a recovering addict, I know. We all do. She OD'd, we thought she RIP'd."

"So did I. Scary."

He clicked his tongue, nodding offhandedly. "Uh-huh, yup. Tragic. Hey, did you actually come?"

"Come where?"

He raised a brow.

"Oh. Uh—"

"Don't lie to me. I'm not a jackass who doesn't know how to make a girl come."

Beg to differ.

"No, you know what, man, it's alright, I really gotta be—"

"We have to remedy that.", he declared, with a barely controlled chuckle of absolute exuberance. "So you can have at least one win tonight before you go babysit Cousin.", he grinned, leaning over to kiss at your forehead, your nose, cheek, and then, of course, your lips. "Don't we?", he murmured, covering your mouth as you attempted to protest. "Yeah, we do.", he continued, kissing down your chest, now, fingers skimming up your dress once again as his mouth lowered. But his eyes stayed on yours, a sort of quiet challenge in them. Amusement, too, if you squinted.

"You're so fucking hot.", he muttered, his teeth leaving another fucking hickey (you were about to stab him) on your inner thigh now. "Sorry I didn't make you come before. Happens sometimes, when I'm drunk. Let me make up for it."

And, to his credit, this time he actually did.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Fuck. Fuck. "Rue? Rue? Fuck, talk to me, Rue!"

"You're really fucking late.", she slurred.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that— don't pick up! It's your mom, neither of us wants her to hear you like this."

"Is that a hickey?"

"Burned myself on the hair iron.", you replied, adjusting the rearview to focus your gaze on her twitching body.

"Yeah, sure.", she groaned out, shifting around in the backseat as though she were in pain.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I've greened out before, it's not a big— fuck, pull over, pull over, pull over, pull FUCKING over, Y/N!"

The car screeched to a halt when you did, turning to watch her bang open the door to throw up into a nearby trashcan. You briefly wondered if this particular trashcan and her were acquainted, if she actually had greened out a lot of times before this.

"Why did you even smoke the weed?! You said you were just drinking!"

She gripped the bench near the trash can for a moment, before shaking her head and leaping back to retch again. You rolled your head back onto the headrest, running a hand over your jaw. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Rue? Rue, you okay back there?" You couldn't hide the fucking tremble in your voice, and she seemed to notice it, too.

"Yeah, fuck you, man, c'mon, I'm not a baby, I told you, I've greened out before. Drive."

"What if your mother drug-tests you?"

"She won't. Hide that "flat-iron-burn" from her and she'll think you were with me the whole time. Okay? I— wait, wait."

This was not the fucking time for her to be looking at her motherfucking phone.

"Scratch that alibi. Fuck that whole shit, tell her I was with Ali."

"Who the fuck is Ali?"

"My sponsor. She knows who he is. Just tell her he texted and we're fine, and drop me off at this, like diner or whatever. I'll tell you the way."

"Rue, it's Christmas Eve, you're not seriously gonna spend it without us, are you?"

"It's not even real fucking Christmas! Jesus!"

Silence. You grabbed the phone from her, placing it on the dashboard and letting the Maps do the talking for the rest of the drive.

Fuck this night.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Fuck. Fuck. He was trying to zoom into your profile picture, not fucking request you like a goddamn loser! He'd never requested anyone in his life, save for Maddy, after she removed him that one time. He groaned, running his hands over his face. Yeah, sure he could have un-requested, but shit, he'd show up in the 'people you might know' list, anyway, and the notification might have already— and there it was. You'd accepted. Fucking great.

You followed him, as well. Actually great.

Almost greedily, he clicked on the one post you had.

He scoffed, practically throwing his phone on the bed.

It's always the bitches who post sunsets that you can't get out of your head.

Fine. Whatever. He wasn't interested in your bullshit sunset post and two story highlights full of music or your friends (all girls, good), anyway. He was interested in how you had so many mutuals with him, seriously. Thankfully, with the exception of Lexi Howard (he figured that was a through-Rue-friendship), there weren't any other liabilities. He liked this.

He didn't, however, like the amount of his teammates who sat in that Mutuals tab. Did you just go through football players like fucking tissues? Did he just get a second-hand dicking down?

Okay. Backing up. He didn't know anything about you, for real, he had to chill out.

A little more sleuthing, and he figured it out. Daughter of a college scout. No fucking wonder. The guys on his team were shameless. Wasn't the college he wanted, but hey, he'd use the excuse of a career to stay in your followers list.

What did you fucking think about him? He's sure Rue must have got into your head about him — he doubts you've even told her, though.

Either way, the urge to find out was getting stronger.

Since his break up with Maddy at the winter formal, he really had been on one. He wanted to fuck some shit up, do something that didn't revolve fixing shit that was broken ; relationship, family, reputation. He was sick of it.

And hence.

Hey.

??

Nate from Christmas Eve.

Oh, hi.

Mall 2morrow? U + me?

Idk. Idk u that well.

Okay, fair. You were sober, and being rational, not wanting to go out with some guy just because you'd hooked up with him once. Smart. He didn't like you sober, though.

Public place. I'll leave you alone the second you tell me. Promise.

Idk man.

I'll buy u an Xmas/New Year's gift.

For what?

I can't stop thinking about you. I'll be there @ 1 if u change ur mind.

You had hoped with all your heart that you wouldn't run into him when you were dropping Gia off at the mall to hang with her friends, but of course, the universe thought your life was a big fucking joke.

So, you were grabbing an iced coffee to go, and there the fuck he was.

"Look who made it. The path to every girl's heart is a gift, I guess."

Did he think leaning against the counter like a cheap James Dean knockoff was going to have you rushing to get in bed with him again?

"I was doing something else. I'm not here for your 'Christmas-slash-New Year's gift'. "

"Yeah, dropping baby Bennett off, I know, I saw. Why'd you stay, though?"

"What, I'm not allowed to stay anywhere now?"

"Yeah, you are."

A pause as he inconspiciously swatted your hand away, offering the barista his card.

"But staying here with me? That's risky, isn't it?"

"Why?"

Huh. So you hadn't told Rue. Good to know.

He shrugged, taking the card back. "'Cause you know I'm about to spoil you fucking rotten.", he grinned, waving the card in front of your face.

"Yeah.", you scoffed, handing him the money you were supposed to pay the barista before you collected your iced coffee. "No thanks."

He pouted. "Yo. I'm being for real. I had a really good time. And I'm sure you did, too."

You opened your mouth to protest, and probably bring up his worst moment, so he shut you up by wrapping an arm around your shoulder and steering you out of the store. "The second time, at least. Cut me some slack, I was drunk."

"That is a comfort to no one but you."

He glared. "I'm not that bad in bed."

"I'll see you around, Nate."

A scoff. A very publicly inappropriate kiss.

And then, he's towing you to the mall restrooms.

════════════════════════════════════════════

TWO DAYS LATER.

You could never for the life of you understand why there had to be so many different types of fucking laundry detergent, and evidently, neither could Rue. But, then again. Rue wasn't quite there, to particularly understand it.

A low, mildly-surprised whistle, and both of you turned.

Nate pretended to busy himself and act like he was admiring the bottle of alcohol he was turning around meticulously in his hand, but you knew better.

"Fucking prick."

"What? Who?"

"The guy across the store who just pretended he didn't whistle at your ass. That guy."

"Who is he?"

"Nate Jacobs. Jock, so you know, that's the prick part."

"What? You're gonna give me the big-sister talk and warn me to stay away from him 'cause he's bad news?", you scoffed, allowing her to lead you the fuck away from this liability of a quarterback, to where a new array of indistinguishable laundry detergents sat.

"You just gave yourself that talk. Did she say Ultra Oxi or Ultra Matic?", she asked, screwing open the lid to take a sneaky whiff.

"What's the difference?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know? Okay, you know what? You ask her, and I'll go get Gia's soda and the baking powder for her birthday cake, yeah?"

You nodded, reaching into your pocket for your phone and looking down at it, rubbing the nape of your neck as you tried to get some signal.

"'Scuse me." A whisper. A lewd, firm squeeze of your waist (so tight it was impossible that no one else had noticed) as he moved behind you, pressing his chest against your spine.

You froze, and you were pretty sure he smirked.

Matter-of-factly, he flicked his index finger twice at the label "Ultra Oxi", before winking over his shoulder. "Make good choices, alright? You've been on a roll recently."

Fuck. Fuck. He'd remembered to taunt you, with your apparently Nate-Jacobs-hating cousin right there.

You moved back to Rue, a couple aisles over, your eyes glazed over.

Did you just get... groped? The aisles were small, maybe he really did need to hold you to move past you?

"I'm wingin' it.", you mutter.

She snorted. "Brave. But I was serious, that guy? He's a headcase." She nodded over to Nate again, who was across the store at the counter, reaching into his pocket to produce an ID from his wallet, presumably.

She said it like it's gossip, common sense, and a Pentagon-level secret all at the same time, and you're not sure how she's managing to achieve that.

"Why?"

"Where do I fucking start? He strangled his girlfriend."

"He fucking what?!"

The detergent nearly dropped from your hand, and she got a funny look on her face, like you were doing a little too much. "Yeah. Maddy Perez. I mean, she's fine, and the case was dropped 'cause someone else confessed, and there was an eyewitness, but h—"

"Rue!", you hissed. "Fuck, that's some mad unreliable storytelling, you know that? Fuck, I thought he did it."

"He did! He got someone to cover up for him, a whole fuckin' alibi, and shit.", she shrugged, giving the Chosen Baking Powder a triumphant, confirmatory tap. There was more she wasn't saying, and you were gonna prod it out of her.

"If the police accepted it, it's probably not without investigation.", you tried, but she just scoffed.

"He catfished my friend."

Uh-oh. It really must be bad if he got Rue to mention Train-Girl.

Sometimes, you wondered whether she was on more than just weed.

You thought this, then mentally shook it off, like... this was Rue you were talking about. Why would she even fucking lie to you?

She sniffed. "And then he blackmailed Jules with the nudes she sent him to testify as an eyewitness."

Jules? Oh, Jules. Train-Girl, aka, Jules.

"He's a fucking plague. I swear, I should get fucking gun and just go apeshit on his psycho ass."

'That won't bring Jules back', you don't say.

"Violent.", you remarked.

"Yeah, he is."

════════════════════════════════════════════

TWO DAYS LATER.

"Where the fuck were you, Rue?! You scared me half to fucking death!"

"I was at... the mall.", she groans from the passenger seat. You slap her face to bring her back a couple times, but it doesn't seem like it's fent that she's on. Thankfully.

"The mall or behind it with the trapper-junkies?", you mutter, slamming your hand down on the horn and flipping the guy off as you passed by him. "Stopping in the middle of the fucking road?! Are you fucking brainless?!"

Rue giggles from next to you and you're sure you're two seconds away from an aneurysm. "What's so fucking funny, Rue?! You're high on god-knows-what! You know how fucking dangerous that is?!"

"Who keeps texting you? It's like ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-"

You rap your fingers along the steering wheel. "Focus, Rue, fuck! How long does it take to wear off?"

"Like... five hours."

"FIVE HOURS?! We have lunch with our family, Rue, fuck! What are you gonna do?"

She continues giggling.

"Fuck, okay, uh...", you mumble, pressing a couple buttons on the car screen.

"Hello?"

"Lexi, I need you to do me a huge favour. Uh... can you man the phones at your place? If my aunt calls just say we're at lunch with you?"

"Uh, is everything o—"

"Yeah, yeah, just— please just do it, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

"Thanks."

You shut the phone off before glaring at her, still giggling next to you. "You fucking happy? Everyone doing your fucking dirty work to cover for your ass?!"

"Please, this is just you relapsing on your stupid I'm-the-nice-sweet-cousin bullshit! You probably hope I flatline so you have a sob story to tell."

"What? I do care, Rue!"

"I thought you grew out of your obsessed-with-me-all-the-fucking-time-phase from when you were six! I don't fucking like you, and really, neither do Mom or Gia! They just need a babysitter for me! Fuck, you can't be related to people without them clinging onto you!"

You glare at her. Oh, fuck her.

"You mean that? Or are you just high?"

"High words are sober thoughts, lil' sis. Gimme a fucking break."

Silence.

"Alright, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. Go call your fucking sponsor. Go."

"You're such a baby!"

You scoff, driving away for a moment before you actually called Ali. You're not that cruel. "Hello, um, Rue's—"

"Yeah, I know. I saw. I was driving by. I got her, she's in my car right now."

"Thank you."

You groan, your forehead on the steering wheel. You really shouldn't be this sensitive, the world will eat you up alive, but when someone you look up to— fuck! She was right, who the fuck keeps texting you?

Picking up your phone, you squint to look at whatever fucking notifications you were receiving, that were apparently life threatening, seeing their frequency.

Nate.

🔗?

You're about to - about to - just block him and throw your phone out the car with how frustrated you are, but then an evil thought permeates through your brain.

Evil, and petty.

Rue thinks you're constantly seeking her approval? Clinging onto her?

Oh, you'll be clinging onto her worst enemy's dick, alright.

════════════════════════════════════════════

The ding comes as Nate pants in your ear for what's the third time in this whole week, you might have a serious problem with how far you take your pettiness, but that's a conversation for another time , and his arm immediately shoots out to pin your wrist to the bed, his other hand's grip faltering on your calf as it slips from his hip. "No, no. Don't even think about it.", he grumbles, trying to shut you up with speed instead of words.

A follow-up ding.

"It could be Rue.", you reason, and he shakes his head, covering your mouth as he keeps going.

"Come on, Nate.", you mumble out from beneath his palm.

He huffs, but finally relents, continuing his kissing at your shoulder. "Rue's such a fucking cockblock, I swear.", he grumbles against your skin, among other things, most of which you don't hear thanks to your focus on your screen.

Yo

Pick up

It's about Rue

Unknown number.

"Hey, hey— one sec, man, I need to make a phone call."

"Are you fucking kidding me?", he scoffs, rolling off you to let you sit up and bunch the covers over your chest with one hand as you type out a 'K'.

A phone call almost instantaneously.

You pick up immediately, pressing the phone desperately to your ear. "Hello?"

"Yo, uh, I'm Fezco, you don't know me. Look, your cousin's been — I don't even know where, but she's coming here in about a half hour, and you need to come pick her up right now, alright? I'm not shitting you."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know, man, she just told me she's on her way, I don't— I don't know. You're her emergency number, I think? She said sm'n like that to me a couple weeks ago."

"Alright, can you text me the address?"

"Yeah. Hey, man, look, half an hour, alright? You come earlier, she'll figure out something's off and bolt."

"Yeah, I know. Thank you."

The call ends, and your hands drop your phone to your lap, in favor of pressing the heels of your palms onto your eyes. "Fuckfuckfuck.", you mumble.

"What? Yo, hey, what happened? She okay?"

You flop back onto the bed with a slight thud, burying your face in your hands as you shook your head. "She snuck out. I thought she was home. Some guy just called me to come pick her up, but he doesn't even know where she's coming from."

You had to go?! Leaving him here with a fucking semi? Oh, Rue was fucking up his life even when she didn't know it. Fuck.

"But wait! Wait, but you're going?"

You scoff, reaching for your shirt to yank over your bra, gesturing at him for the rest of your clothes. He almost looks like he's going to withhold it, but by some stroke of luck, he hands it over to you.

"You're going to an address sent to you by some guy you don't know, because he says your cousin might be there? Ted Bundy woulda loved your ass."

See, what had started as a drunk hookup to a sort of poetic justice type thing against Rue ended with him genuinely liking your company. And that's what scared him. Because everytime he got close with a girl? Bam. Brainwashed to hate him. Like, what was up with that?

Thankfully, though, although it was evident Rue'd said some shit to you that day in the grocery store, you didn't seem to - at least to his knowledge - have taken that to heart. So... yay?

"If I go missing, you know some Fezco guy is the reason.", you snort, as you tug on your socks.

"Fezco? Oh. Oh, he's legit, don't worry." He inhales, rubbing a hand over his face for a minute before nodding. "He's a dealer."

"Of course he is."

════════════════════════════════════════════

30th of December.

"You—", he cuts himself off with a scoff of incredulity, cocking his head and furrowing his brows at you in such a cartoonish way, you almost laugh. He stops running his knuckles down your elbow for a moment, shaking his head. "What the fuck do you mean you won't be here for New Year's?"

"I just won't. I have school, don't I? Gotta get back home? And of course, Times Square New Year's is the best."

"You gonna tell me what happened? Is she good?"

"Like you care if she's good. You two hate each other."

"Mm.", he hums, gnawing on his lower lip, before kissing your wrist. "You guys are close, huh?"

"Oh, fuck off."

He grins. He knew you'd be onto him in a flash.

Laughing, he tugs you closer, into his chest. "Opening up to me isn't going to magically make us 'a thing', if that's what you're worried about. In fact, this is like you venting to a wall with ears. And a big dick. I'll throw in a 'mm, that sucks' every two minutes, too, if you want."

You chuckle tiredly, and he nudges your shoulder. "Come on."

"I just, y'know, she's not sober. Not even nearly, and I feel like a cunt for not telling Aunt Leslie, but it's just gonna cause a blow-up, and I don't wan—"

"You don't wanna cause a rift."

"Exactly! And I also, like, looked up to her a ton or whatever, growing up, and um... she's, like. She doesn't like me even a quarter as much as I like her, and it feels like we're not..."

"Not what?"

"Like, not even familly. Like I'm a personal assistant or, like, an afterthought, basically."

He sighs, moving some hair off your shoulder so he could nuzzle his nose into it. "So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing. Keep fucking her mortal enemy, I guess."

"Good choice."

A pause.

"Rue's a nice girl.", he says.

He's actively formulating a response to the fucking allegations Rue told you about him, and he figures he should play it how she'd least expect it. Instead of fuelling your annoyance at her and using it to his advantage (predictable and boring) , make himself seem like the bigger person. "She just... gets carried away sometimes."

"What?"

"Like, with what she said to you. About me.", he mutters, kissing up your cheek.

"You didn't strangle your girlfriend?"

"No. And there's police records to prove it. The guy turned himself in."

"Yeah, she said you blackmailed her friend Jules—"

"Oh, fuck. Jules? Look, again... we don't know each other that well, but she seems... she's a liar, alright? She likes to play the victim, and maybe there's a psychological reason for that, I dunno."

Well, fair, you reckon. That couldn't be too far from the truth, because this bitch had told Rue she'd loved her and she'd be there for her, then taken off in a train and left her to relapse.

He sees you mulling this over. Fucking score. Gently turning you to face him, he raises a brow. "What?"

"She said you catfished Jules and used her nudes to blackmail her into being an eyewitness."

He tries his best to scoff at that and maintain a hurt expression on his face, and he hopes he hasn't overdone it. "I was dating my ex, Maddy the whole time that was even supposedly "happening ". I had no dating apps, and you can check my phone, my drawers, and even my brain. I've never catfished anyone."

Technically, that's true. Catfishing implies that he used a face that wasn't his, or described himself different to what he actually was. He technically didn't show a face and didn't do the latter, either.

"It's all bullshit?"

"Yeah. Jules is... she's troubled. Y'know? First time I met her, she tried to cut me with a kitchen knife, then cut herself and stormed off. I don't even fucking know why."

"She what?!"

He smiles, sadly. "Yeah. Weird, right? I asked her who she was, because this party was my best friend's, and we're not going to have randos come in and fuck up his home. And she just went batshit."

He likes how this is going. He looks like the bigger person, and Jules gets shit on. "And Rue just trusts too easily. So, when Jules found her, I guess... she found someone willing to listen to her bullshit."

Rage consumes you. Fuck Train-Girl.

"I like you. You're willing to listen to both sides of the story. It's rare."

That's his final play. Make you look like the bigger person, too. So you're both 'bigger people' and you subconsciously look at the two of you as a team, and— fuck, he was so happy right now.

"What did Fezco say about me?"

You raise an incredulous brow. "Nothing. Wh— do you have beef with everyone?"

He laughs at that, his cheek resting on your shoulder, now. "Nah, nah, I got no beef. I'm a Nobel Peace prize candidate, on god."

You roll your eyes, aimlessly scrolling on your phone. He watches your feed roll by. More sunsets. More memes.

"We should date." It's not even a statement, let alone a question. It's a declaration, and it unnerves you. "I'm serious. I like you, genuinely. We're similar. The sex is phenomenal."

"And plus, it's fate. Right?" He's scrolling on your phone for you, now, chin in the crook of your neck as your relatively lame social media feed runs past his eyes.

"Listen, if you want a scholarship, you can just ask, I can give my Dad your tapes—"

"Oh, please, I could get into that college with my grades alone. I'm just saying. We're compatible. People fuck us over and we fuck them over back.", he retorts, moving to your camera roll and leaving little to no room for protest, with the way he's firing these words at you.

He's satisfied, relieved, even, with the contents of your camera roll. Flowers and sunsets and you and your family, some girlfriends, no nudes. Not bad.

"How do you figure?", you ask, turning to frown at him to show him how fucking peeved this invasion of privacy made you, but he pays you no mind, as he grabs your jaw, thumb navigating to the camera app.

"We're both technically fucking to get back at Rue."

He kisses your cheek and takes a photo.

"Yeah, but— hey, whoa."

"Would you angry-fuck me if I just...?", he muses, holding your phone out of reach as he makes a show of hovering his thumb dangerously close to Rue's contact.

"No! Nate, I'm not fucking with you! Stop!"

He just chuckles as he shakes his head, safely navigating to his own contact before pressing send.

Fuck. He sure knew how to terrify people to their fucking bones.

"Date me.", he has the audacity to suggest.

"You're an asshole."

"Date me anyway."

"Are you crazy?"

"Hey, you fucked me. Why not make it a regular thing? Exclusive, too, if you behave.", he teases.

You snort. "You're a trip."

"Is that a yes?"

"No, fuck you."

"Oh, come on. Date me, why not? Is it the long-distance? Is it the football player / daughter of a college scout thing? 'Cause, as I said, I don't care about that second-rate college. No offence."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna—"

"No? You're not gonna date me?", he questions, tilting his head almost pitifully.

"I just... I don't think I'm at the right... like, place for it." Okay, he was starting to freak you out just a little bit.

"Mm." It was an 'mm' of derision. Like he didn't quite believe you, or worse. Like he believed you, but it wasn't satisfactory enough for him. Disappointing. Not emotional enough. Not enough of a reason.

"What?"

He raises a brow, as if giving you a chance to reconsider. "You sure?"

"That I'm not at the right place for a relationship- yeah, I am." Alright, he sounded scary now, not freaky. What the fuck was he...?

He shakes his head, sighing. "God.", he tuts, holding you tighter against his chest. You don't notice this at first, but one of his arms is enough to restrict both of yours. And then, he's scrolling his phone, periodically checking to see that your gaze was following his movements.

"This is our chat.", he informs, like you don't have fucking eyes. "And this is my favourite picture of us."

"Favourite and only."

"Yeah.", he nods, his lips now glued to your temple, forceful enough to slightly push at your head a little. "Will you date me?"

"I just told you I can't really— you okay, man? You— I'm not trying to make you mad."

"I'm not mad, I'm kissing you, how can I be mad?"

Okay, yeah, that tracks. You nod.

The picture's downloaded. He sprints over to his camera roll to check that it is. And then, he moves to SMS. And there's only one person you can think of that's blocked him everywhere but SMS.

And then, you're struggling to move from his grasp, but his hand just presses your arms further into your own chest as he sends it.

"NO! What the FUCK?!"

He grins as your phone immediately dings with about twenty fucking notifications. "It could be Rue.", he parrots, the exact same tone as when you'd said it before the whole Fezco ordeal.

He's a fucking bastard. Of course it's fucking Rue.

"How are you ever gonna look Rue in the eye again?", he asks with mock concern, and it's a valid question.

How were you gonna look her in the eye again?

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Roman sighed and slipped silently into the room, taking care that the door closed behind him. He waited another minute to see if Virgil moved, to make sure he was really asleep, then crossed the room and carefully started removing Virgil's shoes.

It wasn't likely that he would wake at this point, snoring as he was, but still Roman wanted to be careful. Careful not to wake him, careful to not irritate his ankle, careful to not hurt him. Again.

He thought about what Virgil had said, how he said it. Not snipping back, not telling him to can it. Just asking him to stop. He rolled the moment over in mind as he pulled the blankets up around Virgil’s shoulders, gently tucking him in.

He played the moment again. The way Virgil was so quick to cut him off, the sincerity in his request making it clear he wasn't playing, the...weariness. The weariness that made his voice heavy, that kept his words short and crisp where they had been drawn out with physical exhaustion before. He'd been so quiet in his request, like he was speaking to himself, like he meant to keep it inside or under his breath. The type of silent requests Roman used to make. That he still frequently made. "Please like this. I worked really hard on it", "Please notice how hard I tried", "please let it be enough". He'd sent out those silent requests so many times, sharing ideas with the others, when videos were uploaded. Hell, even when Thomas made a new fashion choice, Roman was there, biting his nails and quietly begging for acceptance. To, at the very least, not be mocked for it.

His chest hurt a little at that. An ache that spread like a ripple out from his heart. It was an ache he was all too familiar with. Virgil’s words played through his mind once more and he could hear it again, more clearly this time, the hurt in his voice. The hurt and the weariness and the knowledge that if it was going to go on much longer, he'd likely begin to cry.

He hated that he'd been the source of that tone for Virgil. He felt even more guilty realizing how often he must have been the source of that for Virgil prior to his acceptance.

He had made an effort, truly he had. But... old habits die hard, he supposed. Not all of it was bad, he didn't think. Some of it had indeed been playful and good-natured. Not all of it- he winced, recalling when he'd recently told Virgil he smelled like foot, he'd meant that, wounded as he was at Virgil's implication that he was stupid; Thomas at least had been there to step in, to defend Virgil against him- but most of it, most of it had been good-natured.

He shook his head, trying to brush off the ache in his chest that still rose up when he thought too long about the puppet situation. About Thomas snapping at him for his words against Virgil, but no one coming to his defense about- He shook his head again. That wasn't what this was about. If anything he deserved to be left to his own defenses. He'd been mean. There was no getting around that, no sugar coating it, no saying it in a nicer way.

He had been mean to Virgil.

It was just...reaping what he sowed that he should be mean back. Reaping what he'd sowed that no one would defend him.

No one likes a bully, after all.

He shook his head, hating himself for being hurt about a past situation about himself, for being selfish, in this moment of realization, this moment that was meant to be about Virgil. His own pain was deserved. If it hadn't been someone would have stepped in, like Patton had done when he'd rewritten the Twelve Days of Christmas for them. So- so that was his own fault.

He rubbed his chest, heavy with the guilt of inflicting on Virgil a pain he was so intimately familiar with. "I'm going to do better," he promised, his voice barely more than a whisper, as he stroked a hand through Virgil's hair. "I really am sorry, Virgil. I hope maybe one day, maybe when it hurts a little less, maybe you could forgive me."

He bent and gently kissed Virgil's temple. "Rest well, Virgil." Then he was gone.

“You’re so droopy,” commented Roman, amused. “You’re like a big, droopy–”

“Don’t, please don’t,” said Virgil, and something about the way he said it startled Roman. He sounded so… what was it? Defeated? Helpless? Roman didn’t know. He just knew that hearing that in Virgil’s voice sounded utterly wrong, and he hated it.

“Sorry,” he said. Virgil didn’t respond.

A thick silence filled the air as the pair walked, Roman’s arm around Virgil’s waist and Virgil’s arm around Roman’s shoulders. It stretched on and on and on. Finally, they reached Virgil’s room. He let go of Roman and walked on his own for the last few steps, despite being seconds away from collapsing. Then he stumbled onto his bed and faceplanted onto his pillow, and he was out like a light.

[koy6na]

tied up

tags: bondage, blindfold, masturbation, dub con(?)

nishinoya thinks you look good tied up like a present.

you’re not sure why you agreed to this.

when he said he wanted to practice his knot-tying skills you thought he was learning how to sail or rock climb or learning to do something other than this.

you never imagined you’d end up having your hands bound, with your ankles and calves tied tightly to your legs. when he tied your right leg up you laughed at the awkwardness. when he tied the final strugglers knot on your left leg, you found your situation to be quite severe.

he’s got you on your back. unable to close your spread legs. you struggle against your confines as he backs away, staring intensely. when you lift your head to complain, you find him thinking. he’s thinking so hard you’re unable to bring yourself to interrupt his train of thought.

as soon as you’re about to break the silence he perks up. “got it. i know how to tie the final knot.” he hastily runs to the closet before you can protest being tied up like a christmas present any more than you already were. but when he comes out with the wool scarf you got him for his birthday last year, you’re speechless.

it’s not like you can really push him away from you. before you know it he’s completely hindered your sight with the scarf. you protest when he wraps it over your eyes but he quickly shuts you down. “oh come on. it’s way more fun this way right? i heard it heightens all your other senses. also this knot is super easy. it’s called a soft shackle. i’ll teach it to you.”

“you can’t be serious, yuu.” you huff in exasperation. “what’s next, are you gonna gag my mouth?” though you can’t see his face you’re sure he’s thinking about it. you hear his feet shuffling on the floor. “no, i wanna hear what you’re thinking about.” he’s serious this time. the sincerity hangs on his words. you laugh at how silly it sounds and also at how unbelievably admirable you found him.

“i think it’s time you untied me. this is getting uncomfortable.” the more you fiddled around the more your shirt rode up above your stomach. you could feel the cool air on your skin and it made you squirm knowing he was most definitely staring.

to your demise, nishinoya had suddenly gone silent for once. you sighed in frustration as you slowly and unwillingly learned the rules to whatever weird, sick game he was playing at.

“yuu, i swear to god you better not have left me here like this.” you spat at no one. the lack of response makes you sigh for the millionth time in the last hour. as you lie there, waiting for a response you finally hone in on the sound of short, quick breaths on the left side of the room.

the realization makes you laugh. “i can hear you, dumbass.” the sound of his own laughter fills the room. “see, what’d i tell you. you’ve got super hearing now.” the sound of his padded footsteps cascades from one part of the room to another. “what side of the room am i on now?” his voice rings with excitement. you smile at how silly it all is. “you’re on my right now.”

you’re starting to like this game a little.

“so, if you had to guess…how many meters away from you do you think i am?” his tone is serious again and it makes you feel a little weird about it but you’re not sure why. “this is stupid. just untie me already.” he huffs in disappointment. “but i’m not done yet, just hold on a sec.” you’re squirming again and you can feel your hair getting staticky against the sheets.

“at least take my blindfold off, please?” you say as soft as you can. he laughs again, a short and breathy one. “that’s sweet.” again you feel a weird sensation in your gut. you’re growing more and more uneasy when he goes silent again. you hear the rackety sound of the heat coming on. the buzzing of the hearing unit is louder in this silent room.

“seriously yuu, this isn’t funny anymore.” your frustration laced into your words. the struggle to move only caused you more distress. by now your top had completely ridden up your torso, revealing the underwire of your bra. your efforts to force it back down proved to be useless in your current situation. you curse yourself for looking unruly in front of him. not that he’d care.

he hasn’t said anything for at least five minutes now. your efforts to hear him breathing heavily or walking across the room are drowned out by the electric sound of the heater. you’re squirming even more now trying to wriggle your hands out of the smooth ropes. when the heater finally goes off you continue to struggle until you finally hear it.

you pause your actions as your hearing focuses on something. it’s quiet, yet constant like clockwork. its coming from directly in front of you. like. right in front of you. it takes you a minute to really decipher what the sound is. it’s sounds soft, and weirdly clicky, and…wet?

you finally hear one longer than average inhale from right above you. followed by a choked exhale. “yuu. what the fuck are you doing right now?” your breath catches in your throat as it finally registers that he’s jerking off right in front of you.

after your eclectic outburst of an interrogation, nishinoya can’t hold back another moan. the first one comes out strangled and short, the latter moan is smooth and you can hear just how rich it is with pleasure.

you’re really trying hard this time. you’re shouting curses at him about how weird and gross he is. your hair clings to the scarf and your face as you struggle against the multitude of knots that adorn your body. you stop writhing when he puts his hand on your pelvis. “just w-wait, just stay still for a second.” his voice is strained so thin as he rubs his hand over your cunt through your pants.

you make a noise, to your disappointment it’s lewder than you wanted. you don’t want him to know that this whole time you’ve been pretty much aching all over. that when he finally touches you it’s sending signals all over your body. all over the net-like harness he’s got tied on you. it’s really not all that bad. it’s tight enough where you can feel each knot but it’s not so tight that it hurts. it’s just right and you hate that he knows you that well.

you feel the indent of his knees at the foot of the bed. he moans as your body contorts to shrug yourself up the bed, making space for him. his hand leaves you and you feel the absence like a dead weight. you can hear the sound of his fist speeding up around his weepy cock. you can practically hear the dribbles of precum that leak from his tip. that pit in your stomach has turned molten.

“please, please i wanna see.” you mewl, shame apparating into your stomach. due to all your writhing around the scarf had slid partially off of your face. you could see a sliver of what was occurring in front of you, but nishinoya knows you deserve a little more than that.

he exhales sharply and you just know the exact face he’s making. his knees gently shake the bed and you can tell he’s fucking his fist at a steady pace. “yeah? yeah you wanna see what my dick looks like when i cum all over your stomach.” you sighed in pure bliss. you really couldn’t believe him.

“you’re so weird. i still have my clothes on y’know.” you say breathlessly with a grin. “you should see how ridiculous you look right now.” he says, he’s trying to sound mean but you can’t really glaze over how pathetic his voice sounds right now.

the truth was you did look truly ridiculous to nishinoya. obviously you couldn’t see what you looked like with the stupid scarf-blindfold thing he put on you purely based on something he read about in a magazine. but you looked ridiculous with your shirt halfway off and your legs completely spread open for him. truthfully the second he tied the sloppy knot on the scarf, he was already half hard. however, watching you struggle and squirm and huff and puff really got him going in some unexplainable way.

he felt like a desperate teenager again thinking about how absolutely pathetic he looked. he can’t even bring himself to touch you. you look so perfect all tied up and available to him it didn’t feel real. he has to stifle a laugh at how much he’s holding back his words. he doesnt want you to know how perverse he really is.

when he first stepped away from you he was thinking about what you’d look like tied up in just your bra and underwear. that one set he really likes. when he asked you how many meters away you thought he was, he was thinking about swiping his leaky tip over your plush lips.

not like you could do anything to really stop him. sure, whatever you were still wearing your clothes but something about not seeing your completely naked body just made him absolutely insane.

imagining how the ropes would leave marks and groves against your smooth skin caused him great pleasure, and also great pain since all your clothes were still on. he still can’t believe you actually agreed to this. maybe another guy would’ve just untied you after the first time you asked. maybe they would’ve never tied you up in the first place and maybe he should untie you right now.

he’s starting to feel really bad until he hears the words he’s been waiting to hear.

you’re begging him. begging him to let you see him, and he thinks he might cum right then and there. he’s not sure if masturbating ever felt as good as it did now. he’s shifts right between your legs. you can feel the heat of his thick cock emanating warmth across your stomach and you moan at the sensation.

he lifts your blindfold off, letting it rest on your forehead. he likes how messy you look. you’re looking into his eyes with this look on your face. it makes his breath hitch in his throat, “fuck, i’m gonna cum.” he says, his voice is sooo heavy with lust you feel a shiver across your entire body.

your eyes lock onto his throbbing, ruddy cock as he desperately rubs it up and down. you watch as hot spurts of cum land on your bare stomach. he’s quiet for a moment before he groans, loudly and aggressively. the burning hot head of his cock makes contact with the skin under your belly button.

you can’t look away as desire bubbles in your stomach. a sense of desperation fills you when you feel yourself clench around nothing. he’s smearing his cum all over your stomach with his tip. his moans become breathy shudders and you can feel him practically trembling as he comes down from his high. he takes a few more deep breaths before he shakily laughs. he looks up, running his clean hand through his hair before glancing down at you.

you swallow thickly when you meet his gaze. this whole ordeal is just absurd, but you can’t bring yourself to look away. there’s something addicting about the look in his eyes, and though you don’t break the eye contact you open your mouth to speak.

“are you gonna untie me now?”

i wrote this basically in one sitting. like i little blacked out and when i woke up it was finished……lol

[egophiliac]

should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔

also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real

[docolives]

"I'm a Christmas girly too," Livvy said with a smile. When it came to Halloween, she could skip it, and she liked spending time with her family during Thanksgiving, but if the Christmas season could last all winter long, that would be right up her alley. "If I could come in, off the beach, have it be Christmas and then go back onto the beach when Christmas was done, I feel like… you know, I wouldn't really miss anything," she laughed, shrugging both shoulders. The best of both worlds. "I hear you, though, about the movies. I can't even remember the last time that I went to the theater! Which is pretty sad, because I do love going and getting a gigantic tub of popcorn and a huge slushie. Which, yes, I'd happily take some popcorn if it's not too much of a hassle! Do you want me to get a refill of our wines before we start?"

"Truthfully, I could watch Christmas movies year round." She was proud of that fact. It was her favorite holiday and everyone even in movies just seemed more cheerful. "It is a hard decision but honestly none of the newer movies lately have been entertaining." She had maybe only watched two new movies within the past year. Everything else had been old. "Every studio wants to do a remake , sequel or a reboot of a tv show. It's nothing new." She sighed as she found the film on a streaming service. "Did you want popcorn or anything?" She was obnoxiously one of those people that had a little popcorn maker just because.

[louwhose]

School is starting tomorrow and since I'll be so much busier with it I've decided to take a hiatus from social media from now until I finish playing Echoes of Wisdom. I'll still be on AO3 as much as I can to read/post, (and I mean commissions still open because I need money). Except for my queue which should last through the hiatus.

REAL PINNED POST

[adore-gregor]

.

[starbuck]

definitely feeling overdramatic right now, but i am SO overwhelmed from the stress of that trip and everything that happened before it and everything i have going on between now and the end of the year, that i would like to not interact with a single nother person for two weeks minimum.

[spellmage]

i had planned to finish the first draft of the smut wip by the end of the day but i just... do not feel in the mood for it today

[syxnewt]

the newt joined a game jam. she's gonna be making a simple side scroller beat em up game where the goal is to reach Santa Claus before Christmas but also he's been kidnapped by evil snowmen. she doesn't think she'll be able to finish it but she wants to try

[typhos-c-dragon]

chat can we manifest my oldest sister Not starting some useless shit/getting into an argument with my mom when she comes over this christmas-

[sadlazzle]

looks like im gonna b sober for christmas. not by choice but it’s gonna happen anyway

[akumanoken]

I can't wait for Sunday

[fatelcved]

if i ever picked up sh.adow and bo.ne characters or made oc's..... would anyone be interested......

[mistyjessart]

The Odyssey Modern AU: Christmas edition

For your consideration: the Odyssey but as a Hallmark Christmas movie where Odysseus travels to New York for work and is trying to get home to Hawaii?? (I needed a long domestic flight shhhhh it was either this or Vancouver to Newfoundland) in time for Christmas dinner with Penelope and Telemachus after missing it for the last 20 years straight

The Trojan War is some really big business venture or something that took literally forever for them to sign but they finally did it!!

Polyphemus keeps them after work threatening to get HR involved because they accidentally ate his lunch that he left in the fridge, Polites and some of his other coworkers get stuck there but Ody and the rest manage to escape the office

Athena is Odysseus' boss (and childhood friend) who told him to get everything done more efficiently so he could leave earlier but noooooo he didn't listen and guess who's cutting it close again

The wind bag: Aeolus (from another department, maybe distribution??) sends them home with snacks that they forget to declare and Poseidon the airport security guard sees them after Eurylochus opens the bag in the waiting area and pulls them into the security room until they miss their flight

Circe owns a local motel and wanted to kick them out because she doesn't trust so many dudes around her employees after past incidents, but her and Athena's mutual friend Hermes gives Odysseus some of her favourite tea as a peace offering and he tells her about his wife and kid and she's just like "fineeeeee okay you're a wife guy, I guess I can find you a room"

She calls them a taxi to the airport the next day and the driver Tiresias just keeps giving them ominous life advice and seems to know like... way too much about them and also they're not entirely sure he actually has his license

Odysseus gets a call from his mom like "where are you we're waiting for you" and he's like "I'm on my way home I promiseeeeeeeeee I'll be there this time"

The sirens are various sales reps at the airport

Scylla (baggage check employee) keeps some of them cuz their bags are too heavy so Ody and the rest head to the gate without them

Eurylochus brings snacks again (thinking Chicharron-style snacks, ones you're not supposed to bring on a plane) and Zeus detains them

The suitors are just the neighbourhours who bully Telemachus like "oooOOOOhhhhh ssuuuUUURrreee your dad is tOOOOtally gonna show up to Christmas this year" and making jokes about his mom

Athena (who did leave early and catch the original flight) scares them away and reassures Telemachus that his dad is on his way (while texting Odysseus "see I told you so")

She finds out Zeus is the one detaining them so she calls her dad like "please can you at least send Odysseus on his way, you literally know him, he's just a dumbass sometimes" so Zeus let's Odysseus go catch his flight but keeps the rest of them in security

Calypso is some lady he's seated next to on the plane who hits on him for the entire ten-hour flight

Poseidon, who got transferred to the other airport, recognizes Odysseus from before and pulls him into security again and Odysseus just rips into him until he lets him go

The neighbours are bullying Telemachus while he's out getting last-minute ingredients for dinner when some dude turns up and tells them off and threatens to get their parents so they all run off

Penelope's just like... "who are you and what have you done with my husband, how are you actually on time"

Insert sweet and sappy Christmas dinner with the entire family until Odysseus' sister goes "wait... where's Eurylochus?"

Eurylochus turns up at the door the next morning like "ODYSSEUS YOU MF I HAD TO CATCH ANOTHER FLIGHT-"