#i really want pro photos of me riding honey next

[bomb-proof]

My friend Becky and Honey from the horse show last weekend bopping around in the 18" jumpers!

LAJUF May 2023

Pc: Shannon Castenada Photography

[datleggy]

Buddie prompt: aggressively pro-buddie Helena and Ramon Diaz, who are ecstatic when Eddie tells them he's dating, and then utterly befuddled when he introduces Ana. But they decide to bite their tongues about it (Buck, their future son in law, has talked to them about respecting Eddie's decisions, however dumb, after all), until Ana (unwittingly? Innocently? No matter) makes a comment about Buck, and then all bets are off.

Hope this inspires you!

Helena is so relieved that Eddie finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them, that she could cry. She feels awful that it took her so long to realize it. 

It had been on Eddie’s last visit to Texas, when he and his crew had been fighting wildfires, that Ramon--her dense as can be when it comes to matters of the heart husband of all people--had noticed that their son was in love. 

Helena still remembers saying goodbye to her son and his two teammates, remembers Ramon closing the door, waiting exactly all of five seconds before turning to her and saying, “I’m happy for him. He’s so stubborn, I didn’t know if he’d ever let himself get that close to someone again.” 

And Helena had been confused at first, and then even chuckled when Ramon had explained calmly that clearly their son was dating his coworker Buck, until she’d stopped to really give it a moment’s thought. It had hit her all at once, how obvious those two were, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since they’d started dating and why Eddie hadn’t said anything yet. 

She’s seen the photos on Instagram, Helena thinks, as their plane lands. Buck smiling next to her grandbaby after helping her son build him a skateboard he could safely ride in the park. Buck standing shoulder to shoulder with Eddie behind Tia and Christopher in that Christmas photo at the station. The selfie Eddie posted of him and Buck with the giant cast still on his leg the day of the ceremony for when he was no longer a probationary firefighter with the 118. 

Really, she should’ve figured it out months ago. 

When Eddie had called and told her he’d started dating again and that the next time they came to visit he’d make an introduction Helena had been thrilled! 

Ramon drives them from the airport to their son’s place in their rental and Helena rambles on about how she hopes Buck isn’t too nervous to see them again, now that the cat’s out of the bag. 

When they arrive Eddie greets them at the door with a big hug and ushers his parents inside and Helena is so ready to step into the living room and welcome Buck into the family with open arms, to show her son that there was nothing to be afraid of, that they love him and nothing in the world would change that--

Only to be met with....not Buck? 

“Oh,” Helena stops dead in her tracks and Ramon stands beside her looking about as confused as she feels. “Hello.” she smiles politely enough. 

The woman sitting next to Christopher on the couch stands up and she’s absolutely stunning, her curls bouncing on her shoulders when she stands up to exchange hello’s. “It’s so nice to meet you both. My name is Ana.” 

The rest of the afternoon goes by just fine, but Eddie can tell something is amiss the entire time, though he does a good job of hiding it from Ana, who’s her usual charming self through out lunch. 

She has to take a work call at some point and excuses herself to another room and that’s when Eddie turns to his parents and half-whispers. “Ok, I know those looks. What’s wrong?” 

Helena shakes her head, feigning ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

Eddie sighs, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, what is it? Ana is perfect. She’s incredibly smart, she’s funny, she’s got a great job, good head on her shoulders, and Christopher loves her--so again, I ask, what’s wrong?” 

Ramon follows his wife’s lead. “Mijo, really, it’s nothing. She’s great. We’re happy for you. I think we’re just a little tired from the flight, that’s all.” 

Eddie narrows his eyes slightly but decides there isn’t much sleuthing that can be done at the moment, so all he can do is take them at their word for now. “Fine, if you say so.” 

They’re in the middle of watching Nemo when Buck's name comes up.

"When the tsunami happened Buck and I sang 'just keep swimming' like Dory." Christopher grins up at his dad and Eddie ruffles the curls on his head playfully. It helps Christopher to be able to openly talk about what he went through that day, the good and the bad.

"You never told me Buck was there that day." Ana comments off handedly.

Eddie nods, "Huh, I thought I mentioned it? Buck took him to the pier that morning."

"It was scary but Buck saved me." Christopher tells his grandma, who reaches across the couch to squeeze his arm. Helena had been horrified to hear what had happened at the time; it still gives her anxiety just thinking about it.

"That's right." She says softly.

"I thought some woman you didn't know carried him to one of the tents, and that's how you two were reunited, no?" Ana asks.

"Yeah, but before that, during the initial impact Buck was with Christopher, he managed to get him up to this firetruck in the middle of everything. It was after he dove back into the water to save someone that a second wave came and swept Christopher right off and they got separated from there." Eddie recalls solemnly.

There had been blood running down the dirty wet bandage on his arm, he'd been soaked to the bone, exhausted and barely standing upright. It wasn't until Christopher had been found that Buck had allowed himself to collapse.

"Oh..." Ana frowns.

Ramon puts a hand over his heart and sighs. "It's a miracle, really."

Ana doesn't mean to say it outloud, but the words comes tumbling out of her mouth without warning. "And you're still friends with him?"

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"I'm sorry, really, it's just--I don't understand." Ana rubs her shoulder self consciously, fully aware of the fact that everyone is looking at her. "Look, Edmundo, you nearly bit my head off when Christopher got a skinned knee under my watch but you're still best friends with the man who lost your son for God only knows how long? It doesn't make any sense to me."

Ana knows how overprotective Eddie is of his son, and in fact, that's one of the reasons she likes him so much; she admires that about him and this? It doesn't track with the man she knows.

Helena wants to open her mouth and she say something in defense of Buck--he's a good man, after all. But she knows better than to get between a couple in an argument, especially given how bias she is towards her future son in law...

Instead, she clears her throat and looks at Christopher, "Honey, how about you help me and Grandpa unpack? I bought a lot of fun things from Texas for you."

Christopher doesn't want to go. His Dad looks upset. Ana looks upset. He wants to stay and help. If Ana met Buck she would understand, Christopher's sure of it. But his grandparents are already leading him down the hall and to the guest room.

Christopher hangs out with his grandparents for a few minutes before fibbing and telling them he needs to use the bathroom. They both offer to help him but he insists that he can do it himself, promising to call out if he needs them.

He sneaks the home phone into the bathroom with him and dials a number he knows by heart at this point. He waits a couple of rings before the call connects.

"Hey, what's up?" Buck's voice comes through the other end. He sounds distracted.

"Bucky? Can you come get me?" He whispers into the phone.

He hears a small commotion and then a stifled 'ow!' and then: "Chris? Are you ok? You're home, right? What's wrong? Where's Eddie?"

"I'm home. I'm ok. But--" there's a knock on the door and it startles Christopher into accidentally hanging up the phone before he can explain the situation in it's entirety.

"It was a tsunami." Eddie sighs, "It wouldn't be fair to hold something like that over his head. And look, you weren't there. You didn't see the look on his face, you don't know how many hours he spent crying out Christopher's name at the top of his lungs, injured and looking nonstop through the rubble for him--"

"Yeah, which he wouldn't have had to do if he hadn't lost him in the first place. It sounds like he was too busy playing hero for strangers to watch your son." Ana folds her arms across her chest. "I don't want to fight. Especially not with your parents here. Honestly, I'm just confused? We don't have to talk about this right now. I can go. I just want to apologize to your parents and Christopher first, before I leave, for," she sighs, embarrassed, "well, for causing a scene. This is not the way I'd pictured meeting your parents."

"You know, if you just met Buck I really think you would--"

A cacophony of knocks at the door make the both of them jump. Ana looks at Eddie. "Were you expecting anyone else?"

"Christopher!? Christopher I'm here, open up!"

Eddie gapes. "...Buck?"

"Did you...call him over?" Ana didn't even see him reach for his phone.

"What? No, of course not." Eddie starts towards the door--the knocking has gotten so boisterous he's pretty sure Buck's about to break down his door--but Ana beats him to it.

At this point Eddie's parents and Christopher are in the hallway wondering what all that racket is.

Ana lets the door swing open, and if she's being entirely honest she's not sure what she's planning on saying to the man who's essentially at the center of her first real argument with her boyfriend, but whatever it was, it goes up in smoke when she takes in the sight of him.

Buck is taller than she'd pictured but that's not what's got her speechless.

He's standing at the doorway, chest heaving, clearly having rushed out of his house, where he was very obviously in the middle of shaving, if the shaving cream still smeared on a third of his face is any indication. He's in sweatpants and a white undershirt that's got little drops of blood on the front from where he must have cut himself while shaving. There's a bright red cut running down the underside of his chin.

"Um." Ana can't do much except stare, wide eyed.

Buck blinks at her, "Uh...Ana?" He suddenly realizes all the people in the house behind her are looking at him in a kind of stupor.

She nods slowly. "Buck?"

Buck nods sheepishly, "Uh... So, I am clearly interrupting something here."

"You came!" Christopher moves past all of the adults in the corridor and throws himself at Buck's legs.

Buck lifts the kid up easily enough, crutches and all, "Yeah, about that," he gently pinches his cheek, eliciting a giggle out of Christopher, "What was that phone call all about? You nearly gave me a heart attack, bud."

Eddie groans. "Christopher, did you call Buck to come all the way over here in the middle of the day?" He walks over and uses the cuff of his shirt sleeve to wipe away the rest of the shaving cream on the side of Buck's face. The look on his face is fond as he does so. "What did this little menace say to get you over here in such a rush?"

Christopher pouts. "I just told him to come get me. I thought if Miss Ana met my Bucky she'd know how come you're still best friends." He grips at Buck's t shirt tightly. "You can't stop being friends, Dad. I love Buck. He's my friend too."

Buck frowns. "Umm..."

Eddie gives him an apologetic look. "Sorry, it's not--it's complicated. I promise to explain everything later. Right now isn't really a great time--"

Ana interrupts hesitantly. "Actually, now is probably good. I need to get home soon, it's getting pretty late, so I should get going." She turns to Helena and Ramon. "It was very nice to meet you both." She scoohches past Buck and Christopher and practically sprints to where she parked her car, aware of the fact that Eddie is calling out her name and only half a step behind her.

It's not until they're several blocks down the street that she swivels around and he nearly topples into her in his haste. "Ana, please, I don't want you to leave like this. I really didn't call him over." He reaches into his back pocket and shows her his phone. "See?"

Ana takes the phone and presses her lips together thinly. "He called you like twenty times on his way over."

Eddie frowns. His phone must have been on silent. It's no wonder Buck rushed over like he did. "He was just worried about Christopher--"

Ana sighs resignedly. "No, I know. It's obvious, how much your best friend cares about your son. I can see why he's still in your life. And I think I can also see why that means you don't really have any room for me in it..."

Eddie shakes his head. "What? Why would you say that?"

Ana looks him in the eye, intent as can be on reading him. Eddie had smiled so warmly, creating such an unintentionally intimate moment when all he'd done was swipe at the other mans face with his sleeve...

"You don't even know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"I think this is something you and Buck need to sort out yourselves. Goodbye Edmundo."

Eddie closes the door behind him as he steps inside, a little heartbroken and a lot confused.

There's noise coming from the kitchen and so Eddie follows it to the source. Ramon is telling Buck about how to sear the perfect steak by the stove while Helena and Christopher set the table.

"Is everything alright?" Helena asks, when she notices him by the entryway.

Eddie nods, lying when he says. "Yeah, all good Mom."

She gives him a knowing look but keeps her mouth shut. "Honey, take Buck here to your room, let him borrow one of your shirts. And maybe a razor?"

Buck chuckles shyly. "It's fine, really. I should probably get going too--"

Ramon shushes him. "Nonsense. Go, go, get changed and get your butt back into this kitchen. Scoot."

Eddie takes Buck by the shoulders and drags him to his room, where he finds a worn gray Henley for him. "Here."

Buck thanks him before stripping out of his white undershirt and throwing on the clean shirt.

Eddie plops himself down on his bed with a sigh. "Hey, I'm sorry about all this mess. And on your one day off, too."

Buck sits down beside him, bumping their shoulders together. "I don't really know what's going on but, are you doing ok?"

"I don't know," Eddie makes a face. "I think I got broken up with today."

Buck cringes. "Shit, I'm sorry, what happened?"

That's a good question. Eddie ponders that a moment. Ana had said it herself: she understood perfectly why Eddie didn't blame Buck for what happened during the tsunami and she had seen first hand how much Buck cares for Christopher for herself today.

So, why?

"She said that there wasn't any room for her in my life?" Eddie scratches the back of his head. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this dating stuff anymore."

"Aw, c'mon man," Buck pats him on the back. "You fall off the bike you gotta get right back on." He turns his body all the way around so that he's facing Eddie fully. "Dude, you're a catch. You're a handsome, badass firefighter, you've got the best kid, and hey--you got me." Buck grins toothily.

Eddie rolls his eyes, though he can't help but smile. "So what I'm hearing here is that I'm stuck with you?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Buck laughs.

Eddie leans back on his arms and looks up at his best friend, pensive. "Promise?"

Buck extends his pinky and wiggles it in front of Eddie, who smiles as he wraps his pinky around Buck's. "Promise."

.

[theyscreamjade]

Black S/O Thanksgiving

This idea came to me while my cousin and I were talking about the upcoming holiday and how different it’ll be without my family members due to Covid-19. As a fellow black cardholder, this made my night go from sad to funny. These are mostly memories of my childhood as well, so I hope it makes your day as it did mine.

I also need some requests! Please! Don’t be Afro request me anything.

Disclaimer: Cursing and chitterlings.

——————————————

Izuku Midoriya

* When your mother or guardian demanded you come home for Thanksgiving instead of staying in Japan and to bring your boyfriend as well.

* You knew this was about to be a show. Much to your surprise, He was excited to finally meet the people who raised you to the phenomenal person you are today.

* You two plan and head back to your hometown a day before thanksgiving.

* You had to tell him to change over a thousand times. (I’m from the south, hear me out.) because he wanted to go dressed in his best.

* (You save that for Easter honey, not thanksgiving.)

* Once he was dressed to a decent satisfaction, he stops and buys flowers for your mother before you two would arrive.

* Once you two arrive, cue the awes of baby photos of you scattered around the house. THEN MOMMA DOES THE ULTIMATE AND WHIPS THAT OLD PHOTO ALBUM OUT OF YOU IN A BATHTUB.

* I see Deku as the type to wound up at the women’s table. We know that table, it’s the one where all the women sit and discuss their year and the drama within the family while drinking wine that was meant for dinner.

* He’s not drinking anything though, he’s the taste tester. He’s tasting everything your guardian makes.

* When they find out he’s the number one pro-hero back in Japan, The single aunts in your family will be asking you for numbers of men at the company.

* After eating, He’ll of course help clean up and even wash a few dishes.

* Don’t be surprised when you two come home and he asks where can he get chitterlings from?

——————————————

“I can’t stand Rico’s ass! I can’t believe he lied and said he didn’t get that girl pregnant when that baby looks just like him.” Your aunt said, complaining about your cousin as she walked over to the table. “Deku, Here. Try this.” She said, sitting the bowl of chitterlings on the table and handing him hot sauce.

He scanned it carefully as your grandmother and mother looked at him, worried. “Give it a try baby, you’ll like them. Honest.” Your grandmother said with her sweet voice. He smiled before clapping his hands together. He gave thanks for the meal and dug in, much to his surprise. She was right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* No one had to call anyone, He just walked in and told you to pack up because you two were going to your hometown.

* You two went to his parent's place last year, it felt right to go to yours this year.

* After packing everything up, boom. You two take the earliest plane ride and arrived early in the morning. I mean early like at 3 am.

* A few hours later and it was time to head out. Much to your surprise, he didn’t come empty-handed. He held a present (his mother demanded that he’d give) for your mother.

* You two arrived right on time, everyone wasn’t here yet and food was still cooking.

* You wanted to die when he passed by the baby photos, he’d scan them and point them out just to have your mother respond and give the back story to each of them.

* You don’t know how in the hell he wounded up in the backyard with your father (uncle, or guardian), touching the ALL MIGHTY BELOVED GRILL that perfectly smoked the beautifully glazed turkey.

* He and your father would sit in the uncle's section, where all the men of the family sat. Of course, they’d ask what he does and everything and constantly asks if he’s capable of keeping you safe.

*he was given the right to check and examine the turkey with your father until it was cooked to his deemed perfection.

* Your father is rather proud to have him as his future son in law(even though you two are just dating),regardless of race.

——————————————

“I’d like to say grace. Lord, thank you for this delicious meal you’ve provided for us. Thank you for the times you’ve kept us safe in your hands, thank you Lord for giving me such an amazing family. And thank you for my future son in law, Katsuki Bakugo.” He spoke as the water you were drinking when down the wrong windpipe.

You cough harshly as Bakugo pats you back. Once you were calmed down and processing what he just said, Bakugo places a slice of turkey on your plate. “Atta boy! He even knows how to cut!” Your father spoke again, handing Bakugo his plate while everyone laughed at how embarrassed you were. You knew this would further fuel his ego even more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoto Todoroki

* Unbeknownst to you, he overheard your conversation with Momo one night and how you missed being home. He frowned that you were so far away from your hometown that he couldn’t just leave you unhappy.

* Behind your back, he calls for a private jet for you two.(on Endeavor’s name of course.)On the day before, he tells you to meet him on the plane where he blindfolds you.

* The ride was a bit bumpy and everything but once it was over your town, he slipped the blindfold off which made your eyes water when you saw your home.

* The Next Day, you two leave the hotel room and you can tell from his silence he was that he was nervous. You’ve told him all the stories about your family and he’s..not really used to that.

* Little crystals formed on his shirt which you dusted them off when you stepped towards the steps to the house. From outside, you could hear the sounds of your uncles playing dominoes and yelling at the tab while football played

* When your mother (or guardian) opened the door, he’s immediately consumed in a tight hug.

* “It’s so great to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you, Come in!” They said gingerly as he was suddenly pulled inside.

* (Yep, they just...forgot you, honey. I know...it’s okay.)

* After being shown around the house, he was left sitting with the grandparents who were watching westerns on tv in the main living room where you finally found your poor boyfriend. Your youngest nephew, who’s nearly a year old sat on his lap staring at the tv then him as if he’s saying ‘you saw that?’

* You greet the elderly before grabbing your boyfriend's hand only to have the child start crying when he was placed on the couch.

* He was only silenced in Shoto’s arms, which was strange to you before you realized, your sibling’s lover usually does cosplay as Shoto for their job at a Hero Theme Park

* The poor confused baby thought it was his parent and clings to Shoto like a koala but Shoto didn't really mind.

*To add insult to injury, the parent won't be in until after Thanksgiving.

——————————————

“I’ve gotcha honey, hold on.” Your sibling said as they wrapped a large floral blanket around his body. Once they were done, it was now a fabric baby carrier that held your nephew up to Shoto’s chest.

“Sorry about that, I’ll make sure to take him after dinner okay?” They said, sounding sympathetic to him.

Shoto ran his hand through their fluffy curly locks and smiled. “I don’t mind holding him a bit longer.” He replied while you prayed this doesn’t give him any ideas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Ten

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut! 6K

Masterpost

You and Harry let Buster sleep in the bed with you that night since you’d be away from him for so long. Niall drove you both to the airport the next morning. You were beyond excited for this trip. You and Harry were pros at flying together at this point. He knew to keep an arm around you while you slept, and he’d keep his head rested on yours.

When you get off the plane you each head into the bathroom to change into some lighter clothes. You brought a light green pair of shorts and a white tank top to wear, and Harry changed into a pair of light blue shorts with a black t-shirt. You both looked very ready for Florida.

“I can’t wait for you to bust out your real Florida clothes.” You giggle. “You know the ones that make you look like a grandpa in Miami?”

“Oh baby, I brought all that shit.” He winks. He reaches into his carry on and hands you your fast pass band. “We need ‘em when we get in line for the buses.”

You both navigate through the Orlando airport, and wait for the bus to your resort. You get on and about halfway through the ride you go into the Disney app to see if your room is ready.

“Oh look! Floor four, room 3000.” You show Harry your phone. “But our luggage most likely won’t be there until later tonight.”

“S’alright, we can at least stick our backpacks in the room for now.”

You hum your response. The two of you were in awe of the resort. You were able to use your wristbands to unlock the door, you didn’t even need to go to the desk in the lobby to check in. There was a note on the little table in the room.

“Listen to this!” You exclaim, and he turns to look at you. “Congratulations on your recent partnership, we thank you for wanting to celebrate your honeymoon with us. Let us know how we can make this experience even more magical for you.”

“That’s cute.” He pouts.

The two of you walk the grounds of the resort just to get familiar with where the pool and restaurants are.

“Alright, so we’re doin’ EPCOT this afternoon?” He asks.

“Mhm, look that’s where all the shuttles come.”

It takes a few minutes to actually get into the park, but once you do you couldn’t be more thrilled. They give you and Harry buttons that say “Just Married” on them for you to wear. You use your Fast Pass to go on Spaceship Earth first. You were mostly excited to get to the World’s Fair so you could eat a ton of the different food.

You and Harry have a lot of fun in Mexico, and go on the Donald Duck ride. You take lots of selfies as you go around from country to country. You ended up eating at a French restaurant that night and it was delicious. You both stayed in the park to see the fireworks and it was beautiful. Harry had his arms wrapped around you, chin resting on your head.

By the time you got back to your room, you were pooped. You both do your nightly routine and climb into bed.

“Oh my god, this is beyond comfortable.” You say.

“What’s on the itinerary tomorrow, sweetheart?”

“We are spending the day at Magic Kingdom. Our first Fast Pass is at Space Mountain. Once we use all three we can add more. Our reservation is at like 9AM, so we’ll have time for breakfast here.”

“It’s gonna be really sunny tomorrow, we’ll need sunscreen and all that.”

“We can also take a break in the afternoon if we feel like coming back for a swim before going back in for dinner. We’re eating in Disney Springs tomorrow.”

“Great first day, hm?”

“It was perfect.” You kiss goodnight and slowly drift off after getting comfortable.

//

“Are you sure you’re okay with goin’ on this ride? You hate roller coasters.” Harry says to you as you’re in line for Space Mountain.

“I think I’ll be okay. Oh shit…we can’t sit together?”

“It’s a single rider, you wanna go behind me?”

“Yeah.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh during the ride when he heard you scream and then start to laugh like you always did.

“I did pretty well.”

“You did, I’m very proud of you.” He kisses your hairline. “What’s next?”

“We are meeting Princess Ariel.” You beam. “She’s my favorite.”

“Sounds good to me. Gives us a chance to really walk through the park.”

There was even more wonderful food to snack on at Magic Kingdom. You both were just having an amazing time. The weather was beautiful and you had no cares in the world. Over the next few days you did everything in the Disney book. You had dinner in Belle’s Castle, you screamed your head off on the Tower of Terror, and opted to let Harry go on the Rockin’ Roller Coaster alone. You took a ton of pictures, especially in front of Cinderella’s Castle. You also tried every Dole Whip you could find in each park. The only thing was that most nights by the time you’d finally get back to your room, you both would be too tired to be intimate. And then in the morning, you’d have to get up, eat breakfast and get to the park. It was an amazing four days, but you were excited to head to Fort Meyers.

//

Harry rented a car for the two of you, and to the West Coast you went.

“God, that was so much fun, I already wanna plan our next trip.” You laugh. “I think Sarah had the right idea about a group trip.”

“Oh, definitely. We could all stay on resort, drink around the world, it would be great.”

“Maybe in a few years, yeah? It took so long to save up and pay off.”

“I agree, this is something you do once in a while. Thanks for takin’ care of most of the plannin’ for it.” He rubs your thigh. “Wait until you see the place we’re headed, you’ll love it.”

“I’m very excited.” You check your phone. “I was hoping Mariah would have sent us some photos…”

“She said she wants it all to be a big surprise. She’s working on making us a book and all that. Just be patient, baby. Then we can take our time goin’ through all of it.”

“You’re right. Plus, now we can go through all the pictures we just took. The one of you and Goofy has got to be my favorite.”

“I liked the ones you took with Woody and Bo Peep, that was hilarious.”

“Should we stop off at a grocery store before going to the house just to get what we need for the next few days?”

“Good idea, I don’t see us leavin’ too much.” He smirks.

“You know…and I don’t want this to kill the vibe at all…but the day we come back our flight is in the late afternoon, and we’re only an hour from Nannie. I was wondering if maybe she could come have breakfast with us?”

“On the last morning? Sure.” He shrugs. “She won’t mind takin’ the drive?”

“Nah, plus, she’d bring a friend with her. Thanks, I just feel guilty being in Florida and not seeing her, even though we just saw her.”

“No, I get it. I’d wanna spend time with her too.” He smiles. “She was so cute when she danced with me at the wedding.”

“She couldn’t wait to get her hands on you.” You laugh and put your hand over his. “Neither can I. Oh! Seth just texted a picture of Buster, our little baby boy.” You pout and show Harry quick. You can’t help but start laughing.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just…sometimes I think back, and like, did you ever think Seth would be one of your best friends?”

“No.” Harry laughs. “He really is a great guy, I’m glad he’s in my life.”

“I think he wants to marry Isaac, they could be next out of all our friends.”

“I wanna know what the fuckin’ hold up with Niall and Sarah is. I feel like something’s comin’ soon with them, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Sarah’s looking at new schools to work at…she, uh, really wants to get in at a prep school. They may start looking at houses soon.”

“Yeah, Niall mentioned something about that. He really likes living in the city, it would suck to commute like that.”

“I know.” You sigh. “They have a lot to consider. At least Rach and Mariah seem to be staying in the city for a bit longer.”

“I think Mariah wants to have a baby soon too.”

“Oh really?!” You squeal.

“Yeah, she’s mentioned it a couple of times. They haven’t talked about it much, but she wants to be the one to get pregnant and carry it if they do.” Harry chuckles. “Isaac even offered up his sperm.”

“Aw, what a sweetie.” You giggle.

You and Harry go grocery shopping quickly before getting to the house he rented.

“Oh my god.” You gasp as he pulls up.

“The boat’s already at the dock out back too. Got my license online and everything. We’ll be able to go out and enjoy a few rides.”

“Oh, I can’t wait, babe.” You get everything into the house and go outside. “Wow, this is really private.”

“Mhm, we can screw out here and no one would know.”

“Oh, stop it.” You swat a hand at him. You walk down further and feel the sand between your toes. “I can’t wait to swim. The boat is perfect too, honey, well done.”

“Wanna explore the inside?”

“Definitely.”

You both go back in. It was a simple ranch style home, but it was beautiful. The master bedroom was ginormous and it had a giant en suite. The kitchen was open concept and flowed naturally into a living and eating area. There was a nice patio out back as well.

“It’s perfect, Harry. Thank you.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “So…I spoke with Dr. Mara a few weeks ago, and I didn’t say anything to you, but I switched medications.”

“You did?” He steps back from you. “Seems like an odd thing not to tell me, Y/N.”

“I know, we just had a lot going on. I…wanted to be able to have alcohol for this part of our honeymoon. It was really hard not to get anything in Disney, especially while you were trying a bunch of stuff, but I was afraid of going overboard too soon. I want us to be able to be romantic and have wine and just really enjoy this part of things. Anyways, the new medication I’m on allows me to have alcohol in small amounts.”

“So that’s why you were so adamant about getting wine at the store.” He says in understanding.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to see how my mood changed and all that.”

“I literally didn’t notice a difference.”

“I know! So it’s doing its job.”

You both were feeling a bit nervous since you wanted this all to be special.

“Okay, what do you say we put our suits on, and head to the boat. We can bring some of the snacks we just bought and just have some fun on the water.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” You smile.

You put on a cute light blue two piece, and Harry had his yellow trunks. You pack up some snacks and water. You both lather each other with sunscreen, and go down to the boat. Harry uses a map so he knows where he can go. There was a sandbar that the owners of the house told him about.

“There! Where the other boats are parked.” You point out to him. “How do you even know how to do drive this thing?”

“I’ve driven a boat before.” He scoffs. “Have you met me? I’m good at everything anyways.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him. He parks the boat and throws the anchor. You open the bag of baby carrots and pop a couple into your mouth.

“Should we swim? It’s fuckin’ hot out.”

“You’re just full of great ideas today.”

You both get in the water and swim around. You splash and giggle and just have a great time. You both sit out and get some sun as well. Eventually, you go back to the house and Harry grills some veggie burgers for the two of you. As the sun sets, you both change into some warmer clothes, and he gets a fire started in the pit. He grabs some sticks and you get some marshmallows.

“What do you say, want some wine?” You ask.

“Mhm, if you do.”

“I do…I should probably stick to one glass so I don’t get fucked up.” You laugh.

You sit together outside and roast your marshmallows. You clink your glasses and enjoy the sweet red wine.

“Mm, I forgot how good wine tasted.” You giggle.

Harry’s arm was around you. He set his glass on the ground, and tilts your chin up to look at him. He presses his lips to yours and swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. He pulls away and smiles.

“I agree, very sweet.” He leans back and kisses you again. “Is it helpin’ yeh relax at all? I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“It’s helping, yeah. I know there’s no pressure, I’ll either come back pregnant or I won’t. It could stake a few tries, and that’s fine. This is all just so romantic, I want it so badly.”

“Me too, and when it’s meant to it will.” He assures you.

You both finish your glasses, and it definitely hit you. Your tolerance had gotten really low. You both clean everything up and head inside.

“That was a nice fire.” You wrap your arms around his neck and his go around your waist.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” You get on your tip toes and kiss him.

He walks you into the bedroom and you both fall onto the bed. He gets you far back so your head can rest on the soft pillows.

“You looked so sexy in your swim suit today.” He kisses on your neck and you giggle. “I wanted to take it off with my teeth.”

“Aw, why didn’t you?” You pout. “Tomorrow I’ll put it on just so you can take it off that exact way.” He grinds his hips down against yours and you groan. “Knew you’d like that.”

“I’d love it.” He growls as his hands slide up under your shirt. Your hips buck up towards his. “Tell me what you want, angel.” His eyes were locked on yours now.

“I want to make a baby with you.” You say just above a whisper.

“Fuck.” He says under his breath.

He lifts your shirt off you and practically rips your bra away. He pulls his own shirt off and attaches his lips to your right nipple. Your hand tugs at his hair as he sucks on you. His other hand kneads your left breast. He moves to start kissing down your body, sucking wherever he pleases, leaving behind all of the marks he wants. Your body felt hot all over with every touch he left behind. He tugs your shorts and underwear off, and he licks his lips as you open your legs for him.

“We’re gonna take our time, okay? We have nowhere to be, so we’re in no rush.” He says, planting kissing on your inner thigh.

“Okay. I want this to be really good for both of us, it’s not just about me.”

“Tonight it is, but we have three more nights here after tonight, don’t you worry.”

You gasp when you feel his tongue lick through your folds and up to your clit. He does this a few times just enjoying the way you taste. His hands spread you further apart as he swirls his tongue around your clit. Your hands grip at the roots of his curls. He works two fingers inside you slowly, and it makes your head spin. He was really feeling around, he knew the territory well, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still occasionally explore. Plus, he knew you liked the way his fingers would stretch you out.

He nibbles and sucks on your clit as his fingers curl up against that spongey spot. You grind against him and let out soft whimpers. He was giving you exactly what you needed. He knew you were under a lot of pressure. Erica had been trying to get pregnant ever since her wedding, and she had a lot of trouble. She was only three and a half years older than you, and you weren’t sure if you’d run into the same issues.

“Oh fuck, oh my god, shit.” You were panting as his fingers picked up the pace. “Harry, oh my god!” Your head rolls back further into the pillow as you release onto his fingers. He retracts them slowly and sucks them into his mouth. “Get your pants off, now.”

He smirks and gets the rest of his clothes off. He hovers over you as you grip him in your hand. You drag his tip against your clit and folds, almost teasing yourself.

“God, I can’t wait to really feel you again, it’s been way too long.”

“I can’t wait to feel your come inside me again.” You line him up with you and he slowly starts to push in.

You both moan out once he’s all the way in. You clench around him, never wanting him to leave.

“If you do that m’not gonna be able to last long.”

“I’m sorry, you just feel incredible already.”

He smooths your hair away from your forehead and kisses it. He kisses your nose next, and then slots his mouth over yours as he rocks in and out of you. You wrap your legs around his waist and drag your nails down his back as his tongue molds to yours.

You were both sweating even with the A.C. on. It was pooling between your stomachs, but neither of you cared. You both were so caught up in just feeling good. He hooks an arm under one of your legs and drive in a little deeper. It hits just the right spot, and your nails sink into his ass.

“Right there, Harry, fuck.”

He sponges kisses to your neck and bites down on you. You lose it at that and he feels you come around his cock. He drops your leg and pulls out. He grabs your hips and flips you over. He spreads you apart with his thumbs and slides back in. One of his hands grips the back of your neck while the other presses into your hip. You loved this part. Sometimes harry would start out so sweet, make sure you came a couple of times, and then he’d get a little rough.

“How’s this?” He grunts.

“So good, so fucking good, rail me babe.”

He thrusts in and out of you faster and faster, but then he slows down. He pulls out of you again and flips you back on your back.

“What’s wrong?” You out.

“Nothing.” He slides back in. “I just wanna be able to see your face, that’s all.”

You smile at each other as he thrusts in and out of you again. His tip brushes against your g-spot so you grip onto his biceps to relieve some of the pressure building. You groan when you feel his muscles flex.

“Harry, please, I want you to come.”

“You do?” He grunts.

“Yes, please, I want us to come at the same time.”

He strokes your cheek and leans down to give you a kiss as his movements get sloppier. You can’t hold on much longer, but it doesn’t matter because the second you feel his warm come paint your walls, you release again. He moans your name as he continues to fill you up. You clench around him while he slowly pulls out so you don’t lose a single drop.

“You might wanna sit with your legs up for a few minutes, angel.”

You clamp your thighs together the second he’s out. He helps you shift and turn around so you can rest your legs up against the headboard. He sits next to you and looks down at your flushed face.

“How long do you think I should stay like this?” You giggle.

“Don’t know.” He shrugs. “Five minutes maybe?” You reach your hand out and rest it on his thigh.

“That was really nice. I feel like we haven’t been close like that in a long time.”

“I know.” He rests his hand on yours. “Things got really hectic, huh?”

“Mhm.”

You both slept really well that night. The next morning, Harry fucked you in the shower, and then again while you were trying to make breakfast. You had promised him he could take your swim suit off with his teeth, after all. You both enjoyed the sun and sand on your little private beach.

“I’m gonna dip my feet in the water.” You tell him and he hums his response, not looking up from his book.

Harry stretches and sets his book down. He tips his sunglasses down his nose to properly watch you strut down to the water. As you walk back you notice him looking at you. He makes a “come here” motion with his index finger. You giggle and go over to him, straddling him in the long beach chair.

“You’re hard.” You say into his neck.

“Mhm, can’t help it. My wife is just so sexy.” He grips your hips tightly.

“I could say the same about my husband.”

He reaches between the two of you and moves your bathing suit bottom to the side to rub your slit. His fingers easily slip inside you and you bite down on his neck.

“Can I fuck you our here?” He grumbles as his fingers work your insides.

“Yes.” You breathe.

Your hands roam down his stomach to the top of his swim suit. You pull out his hard cock and line it up with your center. He takes his fingers out of you so you can slip him in. It was the middle day, you two were out in broad daylight, and you were fucking in the open air. Normally you wouldn’t do something like this, but you really did have a lot of privacy.

He rocks you up and down on his cock. You prayed the chair underneath you wouldn’t break. He gets a little frustrated, so he picks you up and lays you on the towel you had laid out between your chairs. You giggle as he puts your legs over his shoulders.

“Tell me this isn’t more comfortable?”

“It is, you’re just cute.”

“Can’t get enough of yeh.”

He sucks on your neck in multiple spots, really making a mess of you. Your bathing suit top loosens from the way your breasts are bouncing up and down and he nearly comes at the sight. He grabs the front of it and rips it away. He dips his head down as he drops your legs to suck one of your nipples into his mouth. You rub your clit as he does all of this and you start moaning out a little louder. He loved when you both would work together like this. He comes inside you just as you release.

After Harry goes inside to grab some waters, he sees you still laying on your back, spraying some sunscreen on your chest.

“What are you doin’?” He chuckles, handing you a water.

“When do I ever get the chance to just openly tan my entire chest? I’m taking advantage of the privacy.”

That night for dinner, you pack up some sandwiches, and harry takes you for a boat ride. You end up giving him a much deserved blow job. The rest of your trip was just sort of like this. The two of you making love any time you felt like it. There was one day you didn’t even really leave the bedroom, you could barely walk by the time you needed to meet your Nannie for breakfast before you caught your plane home. Needless to say, Harry wore you out in hopes of getting you pregnant, and you didn’t mind one bit.

//

Isaac and Seth had dropped Buster off before you got home so he’d be there waiting for you. You drop to your knees and let him lick your face when you see him.

“My baby! Mummy missed you soooo much!” Harry joins you on the floor with him and hugs him. “Daddy did too.”

“Should we, uh, buy some tests tomorrow?” He asks, petting his boy.

“Yeah, we could. I don’t know how soon you can tell though. We might have to wait a couple of weeks.”

“True, might not be a bad idea to just stock up on ‘em.”

“I’ll go to the drug store tomorrow after work.”

“Ugh, work.” He gets up and helps you to your feet. “Not lookin’ forward to that.”

“Me neither.” You sigh.

“Well, I shouldn’t say that, I just wish we could stay like this.”

“I know what you mean. If I could relive the last two weeks over and over, I would.” You walk over to the living room and gasp when you see the photo album sitting on the coffee table. “Harry, look!” You squeal.

You both sit down and snuggle up with the album. You both get glossy eyed when you look over everything. Mariah did an incredible job, not that either of you were worried.

“Your dress really was stunning, baby.”

“So was your suit.”

You look at each other. It didn’t take long until you were both naked and fucking on the couch.

//

“Look at how beautiful the castle was at night.” You were showing Niall a ton of your photos.

“The lights look incredible. Sarah’s been talkin’ about going now, I think you put a bug in her ear.” He chuckles.

“You two should definitely go! She loves the princesses and all that.”

“Believe me, I know. We were thinkin’ of going at the end of this summer.”

“Oh?!” You smile.

“Yeah, I, uh…well…” He takes his phone out and shows you a picture of a ring and you gasp. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“Oh my god, she’s going to love it!” You hug him. “And she’d love a Disney proposal, are you kidding me?”

“She won’t think it’s cheesy?”

“No! She’ll die, oh my goodness.” You hug him again. “This is wild, we’re all so adult.”

“Well, I figured if we’re gonna buy a house together, I might as well put a ring on it before her dad kills me.” He jokes.

“What towns have you guys been looking in?”

“Right now, just the Milton area. We don’t wanna be too far from the city since I don’t plan on lookin’ for a new job any time soon.”

“It’ll be weird not having you across the street, but I understand wanting a home.”

“Do you think you and Harry will start lookin’ for a house?”

“Not anytime soon. We like living in the city.” You shrug.

“What about when you start havin’ kids?”

“Our apartment can handle a child. If we have more, which we probably will, then I’m sure we’ll need to move. But for now we can stay where we are. I’m kind of nervous. Erica’s been having trouble getting pregnant, and…”

“Hey.” He puts his hand on your shoulder. “It’ll happen when it happens, okay?” He smiles reassuringly.

//

When your period came, Harry seemed more upset than you.

“I guess I just don’t understand how it all works.” He sighs.

“We knew this could happen, we’ll just have to try again when I’m ovulating next.” You give his hand a squeeze and smile. “We need to try not to think about it as much. A lot of people conceive when they’re least expecting it.”

“I know, you’re right.” He kisses your cheek. “We’ll get there.”

//

Two more months had gone by, and you still hadn’t gotten pregnant. Harry was getting ready to take you away for your birthday. Just a simple weekend at a spa to relax. Your summer had gotten sort of stressful. You had gotten hired as a TL at your old college to teach a class online for the summer. It was going really well, and the class was just about over. Your passion for teaching students about media was growing stronger.

This meant, though, many of your nights had been long. You would often stay in your office after hours to get some grading and other work done. Harry hated it, of course. The stress couldn’t have been helping. It was nearly 7PM, and the office was empty. You just needed to get through some emails from your students and then you could go home to start your much needed long weekend for your twenty-seventh birthday.

There was a knock on the outside of your door. It was Harry with a bouquet of flowers. You look up and smile.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought we could go to dinner. Dropped Buster off with Niall and Sarah.”

“God, I’m gonna miss them when they’re not right across the street.” You frown. “But I’m happy their offer got accepted.”

“Me too. And what great timing that they’re headed to Disney soon too. They can relax from all the stress they’ve been under. I’m glad they’ve gone through it first, to be honest.” He closes the door behind him and locks it.

“No one’s here, you could’ve left that open.”

“Eh, force of habit.” He shrugs.

You stand up to give him a hug. He looks you up and down. You had a red, short sleeve blouse on paired with a black pencil skirt.

“These flowers are beautiful, thank you.”

“Happy almost birthday, my love.” He cups your cheek with one hand and kisses you.

“I just need to finish up some emails and then we can go.”

You sit back down and he comes around to stand behind you. He starts rubbing your shoulders just as you begin typing. Your fingers stop and your eyes flutter closed. Harry would always be your favorite masseuse.

“You look good enough to eat, you know that right?” He whispers in your ear, sending a shiver up your spine.

You send your last email and turn your monitor off. He spins you around in your chair so you’re facing him. You look up at him through your lashes. For years you had told Harry you’d never have sex in your office. But you were ovulating and extremely turned on.

“So why not have your appetizer here then?”

His eyebrows shoot up. He was expecting you to say no or to tell him anything other than what you just said. His hands drag up from your knees to your thighs, bunching up your skirt to your hips. He grips your panties and takes them off of you. He drops to his knees and puts your legs over his shoulders, pulling you closer to the edge of your seat. His tongue was on you in seconds, but he takes it away just as quickly. He nips at your inner thigh, sucking a very dark mark into your skin.

“Fuck.” You breathe as he does it to the other one.

He licks into you again, getting a very good taste. He drags his tongue up to your clit and sucks on you.

“Harry.” Your head rolls back, and the chair nearly tips over, but he steadies it.

One of his hands reaches up to grip your throat, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as you come on his tongue. He stands up and undoes his pants. He licks his lips when he looks at you, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do to you first.

“Take me on the floor, please.” You beg him.

“Get on your back then.”

You stand up and lay on the ground. Harry chuckles as he gets on the ground over you.

“What?”

“Thought you would’ve wanted me to bend you over the desk.”

“No, I want it like this.” His lips ghost over yours.

You gasp as he enters you, and his tongue goes into your mouth. Yours molds to his and he swallows your groans. He carefully unbuttons your blouse so he can cup your breasts over your bra. He was ramming into you, and it felt incredible.

“Oh my god, Harry.” Your back arches slightly. Something about doing it in your office after saying no for so long was really doing something for you. “Holy shit!” You scream as he rubs on your clit. “Don’t stop.” You groan.

“Baby.” He moans. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful like this.”

You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer to you. You knew your back was going to hurt tomorrow, but you didn’t care. He takes his other hand to grab yours, intertwining your fingers. He pins it next to your head. You use your free hand to grip his throat. You were thankful there was A/C in your office, or the two of you would be drenched in even more sweat than you were.

You tighten around him as you come to another release. He squeezes your hand as he comes inside you. Your grip loosens around his throat as you both catch your breaths. He sticks a finger inside you so nothing slips out, and then he grabs your underwear to slide up your legs.

“Hope you won’t be too uncomfortable at dinner.” He says as he helps you up.

“I’ll be fine.” You smile and kiss him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

//

At the end of the month, on their trip in Disney, Niall proposed to Sarah, and she happily accepted. You couldn’t wait to celebrate with them when they got back. The class you taught got amazing reviews in the course evaluations. You were asked to come in for a meeting with the head of the Communication Department.

“Y/N!” Dr. Harrison calls you into her office. You knew her very well. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too.” You shake her hand and have a seat. “Weird, last time I sat in this seat I was asking you about internships.” You laugh.

“Funny how things come full circle sometimes.” She smiles. “We were very impressed with how well your class went. We haven’t had students do so well with TL like this in a while. A lot of students who take summer courses take them to improve their GPA’s.”

“So I noticed. I had them send me intro videos for their first assignments, and a lot of them said they were grateful my class was being taught.”

“One of our faculty members is heading to another institution next semester. So she’ll only be here for the fall term. We have to start figuring out spring semester courses later this month. She teaches a lot of the film and media courses.” You nod. “You have your MEd, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“We’re going to be searching for a new teaching position soon. I’ve been speaking with the other faculty, you were such a rock star of a student, and we were wondering if you’d consider applying once we open it.”

“What?” You were in shock.

“I know that’s a lot to ask, obviously, you seem to really like your job. You’re good at what you do, but you also seem to be a great teacher. We’d like you to teach more of our students.”

“I…I don’t know…see, my husband and I are trying to start a family, and my work has amazing maternity leave options and benefits. I mean, I could be pregnant now, and if I was that would mean I’d literally just make it to the end of the spring semester, and then I’d be on maternity all summer, and I know being a junior faculty means a lot of-“

“Y/N slow down.” She chuckles.

“It’s just, I essentially get six months off for maternity at my work…”

“I could get you some information about our union benefits. We have nine month contracts and twelve month contracts. Lots of different options. I don’t have kids of my own, but I have to say our insurance benefits are really great. You don’t have to decide anything right now, just know we’d love to have you. We’re going to open the position up at the end of September. At least consider applying, alright?”

On your way home from the meeting you had to pull over on the side of the road to throw up. You had taken the afternoon off from work to go to this meeting, so you go right home. You throw up again the second you get inside, luckily you made it to the toilet.

“What the fuck?” You say to yourself, and then it dawns on you. You get your phone and call Harry. You promised him any time you took a test that you needed to be together.

“Hey baby, how’d the meeting go?”

“Can you come home?”

“Um…uh…I have a client coming soon, why?”

“I’ve been throwing up all afternoon…I think I should take a test.”

“Oh! This shouldn’t take long, could you wait until I get home?”

“Harry.” You groan.

“Okay, take it, but don’t look at the results until I get home, please.”

“Alright.”

You go into the bathroom and take a pregnancy test. You had been trying for five months now, and you hadn’t had a symptom like this yet. You stick the test on the counter in the bathroom and go out to the living room. You had so many things to think over. Teaching had just become a new passion of yours, but was this opportunity worth disrupting everything right now?

You sit down and look over the union information Dr. Harrison gave you. You pull up your benefits package from work on your laptop and try to compare the two. The university, believe it or not, actually had better insurance policies. Being protected by a union would also be nice. This was the shitty part about working for a good business. You felt guilty for wanting something new. You were so grateful for everything, but you did the same thing every single day, and it just wasn’t giving you the same fulfillment it used to. You had been there since you were twenty-one, fresh out of college. You were twenty-seven now, maybe something new would be good. Besides that, you knew Niall had one foot out the door. Sarah had gotten a position at a nice prep-school, and he was looking  at some other companies closer to their new house. He needed to be able to move up, and there were no positions opening up any time soon. He had been at Mark It even longer than you. A lot was changing all at once.

You take a deep breath and tell yourself you’ll talk things over with Harry later. A couple of hours later, Harry bursts through the door with Buster. You stand up immediately and walk with him hand in hand to the bathroom. You both look at the test sitting there and take a deep as you walk up to it. Both of your eyes widen when you look at it.

[freddiesaysalright]

Dancing With Ben Week 3

A Ben Hardy x Reader Fic Disney Night - Jazz

Summary: Reader is one of the pro dancers on Dancing With the Stars. It’s her second season on the show, and this time, her partner is none other than Ben Hardy. Will they win the Mirror Ball? Maybe they’ll win something even more meaningful!

Word Count: 3K

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @twigleektribute23, @ionlyhavepicturesofflowers, @asquiresofftime, @caborhapch, @iwasnothingbutacityboy, @a-kind-of-magik, @anxious-diabetic, @royalblueviper, @toms-irish-girl If you’d like to be added, let me know!

Week 1  Week 2

Week 3 here we go!!!

Disney night was a favorite of yours. It reminded you of childhood and the night was always joyful. Also, you got to take a break from rehearsal one day and go to DisneyLand. You were really looking forward to spending the day at the park with Ben, even if the cameras were following you around for most of the day. 

“Are you ready to have a fun Disney day?” you asked eagerly as you entered the park.

“I am,” he chuckled, looking at you.

You felt like a little kid again. You donned Minnie Mouse ears and everything for the day. You hardly noticed the way Ben gazed at you, like you were positively the sweetest thing he had ever seen. You took his hand and led him over to Cinderella’s castle, where you would shoot some things for the video package.

You stood with him in front of the castle, and faced him. “So, what was your favorite Disney movie as a kid?”

“I always loved The Jungle Book and 101 Dalmations,” he said. “I was into the animals.”

“No princesses, huh?”

He shook his head. “Nah.”

“You do know you look like a Disney prince, right?”

He laughed, throwing his head back. “I guess so.”

“It’s not a guess, Hardy, I’m right,” you insisted with a smirk. 

“Which prince am I going to be this week, then?” he asked.

“Actually, we’re doing something different,” you told him. “You and I are doing a jazz routine to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins.” 

“I can’t believe you said that without messing up,” he said, impressed. “Do it again.”

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” you said.

“One more time.”

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

“Oh, you’re good.”

You giggled. “Thank you.”

“So, what do I need to know about jazz?” he asked.

“It is very fun and very Disney,” you said. “One step you’ll have to know is the Charleston.”

“Show me, coach,” he said.

You slowly walked him through the basic Charleston step. The camera guys got a shot of you doing it together for the package. Ben already had it down, blowing you away with how easy most of this came to him. Then, you headed out to enjoy the park.

“Do you like roller coasters?” you asked.

“I love them,” he said. “You?”

“I love them!” you agreed. “Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun today.”

You took his hand again and led him to the first ride. The line wasn’t terribly long since it was the middle of the week, but it was still Disney, so tourists were crowding the park. Ben held your hand throughout the ride. Even through the first drop, when your hands were in the air, they were intertwined. You looked quickly at each other before it went down, your stomach turned, and you screamed together. When you clamored off the ride at the end, your legs wobbled, but Ben held you up.

You continued through the park this way - hand in hand. You were heading to get some food, when a tiny hand tapped your knee. You looked down and saw a weepy little girl, looking desperately up at you. She was wearing a Cinderella dress, but her tiara was askew in her hair.

“Excuse me,” she sobbed. “Can you help me?”

“Yeah, honey, what’s wrong?” you asked, kneeling down to her level. 

“I’m lost,” she said with a sniffle. “I can’t find my mommy.”

“Where did you last see her?” Ben asked. 

“By the castle,” she answered.

You were in Toontown, so it wasn’t terribly far. It was still a long way for a girl her age to go alone. 

“Alright, we can walk you back over there and see if we can find her,” you said.

“O-okay,” she stammered with a nod.

“What’s your name, lovie?” Ben questioned gently.

“Laci,” she said.

“I’m Ben, and this is Y/N,” he told her. “It’s nice to meet you, Laci.”

The corners of her mouth  twitched upward as he smiled at her. 

“Can you hold our hands?” you suggested. 

“Hold on, I’ve got a better idea,” Ben said. “How’d you like to sit way up high on my shoulders, Laci? That way you can see your mum from wherever she is.”

Laci nodded enthusiastically. Together, you hoisted her up until she was settled on his shoulders, legs dangling on either side of his head. He held her ankles. At last, she laughed.

“Lean forward, lovie,” he said. “Don’t want you to slip off.”

“Okay!” she agreed brightly.

“That was a quick turnaround,” you said to Ben under your breath. 

“Kids love to be tall,” he replied simply. 

“Mr. Ben, why do you talk funny?” Laci asked from her seat atop him.

You grabbed his arm and snickered. “Mr. Ben!”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m from another country. England.”

“Oh!” she said. “Like Harry Potter!”

“Yes, like Harry Potter,” he said, smiling. 

“Do you know him?” she wondered.

“Not well,” he answered. “We’ve met, but, as you know, he’s a rather busy person.”

They carried on back and forth and you looked on with admiration. A pang of irritation went through you as you overheard the camera guy and producer exchange a few words.

“Are you getting this?” the producer asked.

“Yeah, they’re gonna love it,” said the camera man.

You made your way back to the castle and Ben instructed Laci to be on the lookout for her mother. You kept your eyes peeled as well for a woman who might be distressed. Laci wiggled on Ben and gave an excited cry. He gripped her legs tighter to keep her upright.

“There she is!” she said. “By the statue!”

You squinted and saw a pretty blonde woman up ahead. She looked frantic and was calling out. You jogged ahead, so you could lead her back to her daughter. 

“Hi!” you called. “Are you Laci’s mom?”

“Yes!” she sighed. “Is she with you?”

“Yeah,” you assured her. “And she’s fine, don’t worry.”

At that moment, Ben caught up. He lifted Laci off his shoulders and lowered her to the ground. She hurtled toward her mother and wrapped herself on her legs.

“Thank you!” her mother cried. “I stopped in a shop to grab one thing, and the next thing I knew she was gone.”

“She came right up and asked us for help,” you said.

“Seriously, thank you so much,” she said. 

A beat passed as she looked at you. “Aren’t you two on Dancing With the Stars?”

You smiled. “Yeah! I’m Y/N, and this is Ben Hardy.”

“I thought I recognized you,” she said. “The whole family are big fans.”

“We hope that means you’re voting for us,” Ben joked.

She laughed. “Of course! Especially now, after what you’ve done. Is there...anything else I can do for you guys to thank you?”

You and Ben exchanged a surprised look.

“No, nothing,” he assured her. “Really, she was no trouble.”

“Then can I just ask for a picture?” she said a little sheepishly.

“Of course!” you agreed.

She picked up Laci and put her on her hip. Ben took her phone and you all leaned in for a selfie. He snapped the photo and returned her phone to her and she thanked you again and again. When you parted ways at last, Laci in her mother’s arms, she waved to you over her shoulder, until she was out of sight.

“What a sweetheart,” you cooed. You turned to Ben. “And you! You really were like a Disney prince!”

He looked at the ground. “No, I wasn’t. I was just being a good person.”

“You literally swept her off her feet,” you said.

“I do the same thing to you every week,” he teased, winking at you.

It made you stop in your tracks. You caught your breath and then kept on walking. Shortly after, the cameras were gone and you and Ben were free to enjoy the rest of the afternoon however you liked. You packed as much as you could into the day, since Ben had actually never been before. You had an absolute blast on all the rides, sometimes holding tightly to him as you went. A few other people recognized you and asked for pictures as well, which you happily agreed to.

Finally, you stopped to eat something. You picked a restaurant in the New Orleans Square and sat down to eat. As you waited for your food, you chatted some more.

“So, are you excited for this week’s dance?” you asked.

“I’m always excited to dance with you,” he replied, and you hoped he missed the color that flooded your cheeks. “But I am excited for this dance. I’m actually a bit relieved to not be a prince character.”

“Why?” you wondered.

“Well, I feel like it’s how everyone sees me,” he explained. “The hot guy or whatever. I want to be known for my performance, not the way I look. It’s why - when I have a choice - I always choose to remain clothed.”

You cocked your head to the side with a questioning look. He laughed at how cute you were.

“For example, when I did Woman in White, there was a scene where I could have had my shirt off,” he said. “I chose to keep it on because I wanted people focused on the scene. Not my body.”

“Are you insecure about it or something?” you asked, incredulous at the idea.

“No, not at all,” he answered. “I’m proud of my body and all that but I don’t like being objectified. Ogled.”

“It makes you feel like the reason you get parts is because you’re eye candy,” you summarized.

“Yes, exactly,” he said. “I want to be recognized for my talent.”

“Ben, you are a very handsome man,” you said, holding out your hand, which he took. “But you are so much more than that. You’re really talented. Not just at acting, but dance now too. Even more than both those things, you’re genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. It’s probably what I like most about you.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “Really.”

You enjoyed dinner together and you realized your newfound respect for Ben. He took his art really seriously. He had fun, but he was intent on doing things the right way. You admired him greatly for it.

The next day, you began rehearsals. Ben was enthusiastic as usual as you broke down the basics for him. One fun thing about this routine was that you were doing a lift where he had to flip you over a cane. It was whimsical and interesting. Ben was incredibly careful with you. Luckily, he was strong and only dropped you once. You laughed on the floor when he fussed and wondered if you were okay. 

“I’m fine!” you insisted. “Believe me, this happens all the time. Do you need a break?”

“Yeah, maybe a short one,” he said.

You sat down and grabbed some water, allowing him to shake it off. At that moment, Sasha entered, carrying a gossip magazine. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Look what I found!” Sasha teased. “You two were really cozying up at Disney, eh?”

He handed you the magazine and you opened it to the page he had dog-eared. You groaned when you saw it. It was you and Ben at the restaurant holding hands. The text speculated you were in a relationship, and also implied how it would break James’s heart that you had “moved on.”

“Looks like you two are the couple of the season,” Sasha said.

“I’m happy to take some of the pressure off Sharna, but this is ridiculous,” you said. It usually was Sharna who was rumored to be dating her male partners on the show. 

“Yeah, Y/N was just being nice to me right then,” said Ben. “We were really just having a moment of genuine friendship.”

“You know how it goes,” Sasha said. “The press has to come up with some scandal if they can. Unless of course it’s true.”

You smacked him on the arm. “Don’t you have some rehearsal you need to be at, Mr. Bottom Two?” 

Sasha feigned offense. “Oh, she’s feisty. Good luck, Ben!” 

He left with a laugh and without the magazine. You kicked it into the corner. 

“Let’s get back to work, shall we?” you said. 

Ben smiled and agreed. 

He picked up the routine well. You worked extra hard to get the parts where you tossed his cane and your umbrella down to perfect timing. By the time dress rehearsal rolled around, you were feeling great. You were getting fitted for your dress. It was the white one, similar to what Julie Andrews wore in the movie, but with a little more sex appeal. Your neckline was a deep vee, and the red bit really cinched in your waist. The skirt only went just past your knees and you couldn’t resist doing a twirl and getting the layers floating around your legs.

You heard Ben gasp in the doorway. You beamed at him. 

“Wow,” he sighed. “You look…”

“Practically perfect in every way?” you finished.

He nodded. You naturally made you way to his arms and settled there. 

“You look pretty good yourself, handsome,” you said, straightening his bow tie. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

“Are you ready to kill it?” you asked. 

“It’s only dress rehearsal,” he laughed.

“No excuses, Hardy,” you said, poking his chest. “Give me everything you got, remember?”

“Yes, coach.”

You made it through dress rehearsal without a hitch. You were sure you and Ben would be getting even higher scores this time around. It was going so smoothly. 

The time came for the performance. You and Ben were going right in the middle of everyone else, which was fine with you. You were certain he’d stand out. Tom started to introduce you.

“Next up, take a look at Ben and Y/N’s experience at Disney, where they faced an unexpected visitor,” he said.

The video package showed you and Ben talking and then they included finding Laci. You rolled your eyes. Ben actually watched the video this time, and he smiled at Laci’s face.

“She really was cute, wasn’t she?” he said.

You nodded. “Well, she and her mom are voting so let’s do them proud.”

You got set up as the video faded to black, the music started, and you began your routine. 

You and Ben leapt around that dance floor like Mary Poppins and Bert were right off the screen. He got every step. He nailed the small lift, and you felt like you really brought some fire to that jazz. When you finished, you embraced, before heading over to the judges, very much out of breath. 

“Once again, I’m shocked,” Carrie Ann began. “Seriously, jazz can be so hard, and Y/N pulled no punches with that choreography.” She added a few notes about footwork.

“I won’t lie to you, Ben,” Len began, but then he broke into a smile. “I really, really liked that dance. You went in there, gave it some welly, and you performed a real jazz number. Well done.”

You and Ben laughed and squeezed each other. 

“I loved that dance,” Bruno agreed. “You were bouncing around, and you really captured the essence of Mary Poppins and Dick Van Dyke in that movie. And honestly, you behaved like a real Disney hero for that little girl in the park. Well done, Ben!”

They all clapped for you as you headed to the skybox to talk to Erin and receive your scores. The other pros and contestants high fived you guys as you came through, finally stopping in front of the camera.

“Great job, you guys!” Erin said. “Honestly, Ben, you and that little girl had my heart just melting. What exactly happened there?”

“Y/N and I were walking and the girl - Laci - literally just walked up and asked us to help her find her mum,” he explained. “She was so sweet, so we helped her out, and luckily, her mum wasn’t too far away.”

“Still so, so cute,” she said. “Let’s see what the judges thought.”

You waited while the scores came in. All three of them scored you a nine. You screamed with joy and leapt into Ben’s arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. The three nines placed you at the top of the leaderboard. You felt like you were in the clouds. Between the dance, the scores, and the thrill of being in the lead, nothing could bring you down. Ben was exactly the same. You couldn’t stop hugging each other. 

“You did it!” you cried. “I’m so proud of you!”

“We did it!” he returned. “Together!”

You got warm all over from the sentiment. 

Finally, it was elimination time. You and Ben joined the other couples on the stage as you waited once again for Erin and Tom to go through couple by couple to tell them who was in danger. You gripped Ben’s hand so tight, you were sure his fingers were bruised. 

“Ben and Y/N,” Erin said. “I’m sorry, you guys are in danger tonight.”

Your mouth fell open and you looked at Ben. He swallowed and pulled you under his arm. He kissed your forehead and you closed your eyes. You held tightly to him, fearing you may not get to hold him again. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s not over yet,” he said, sounding more confident than he looked. 

You waited. There were three couples total in danger. You and Ben, Sasha and his partner, and Lindsay and her partner. 

“The couple that is leaving us tonight is…” Tom began.

You gripped handfuls of Ben’s jacket, sending a silent prayer that you wouldn’t have to let him go yet. You weren’t ready. 

“Sasha and…”

You sighed with relief, but did not let go of Ben. He didn’t release you either. You held each other for a long moment. The others were already moving to say goodbye to Sasha and his partner. You and Ben looked at each other and then joined them, noticeably behind. 

“That concludes Disney night,” Tom said to the camera. “Thanks for joining us and come back next week to see what our stars come up with for country night!”

[motleycrueimagine]

This Ain’t a Love Song - Part Seven - Nixxi Sixx Fan Fiction

Words:  2664

Warnings: Language, alcol, drugs, soft smut

N/A: I’m really sorry for the delay, I finally moved and it has been really hard to find time to write something decent. I let you read now, as always taglist is open and feedbacks are really appreciated. xx

Huge thanks to @blonde-shamrock

Summary:

Maya Prescott has done anything possible to fix her life. It was 1977 when she left her groupie life: no more parties, no more concerts, no more drugs, alcohol or casual sex, just to achieve a full standard life. Now it’s 1981 and after a four years disappearance  Maya Prescott unexpectedly shows up to the party of one of the most promising emerging bands of the LA’s rock’n roll scene: Motley Crue. But what should be her last ride is destined to change her life in so many unexpected ways.  

TagList: @motleycrueee  @babygal-babygal@unknownoblivion @sweetshutter

Masterlist

Maya’s POV

I was awakened by a gentle touch at the height of my hips. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening; in a tangle of sheets and legs I noticed I was almost completely lying on Nikki. Still asleep and not very alert, I went along with his movement, trying to move me back to my side of the bed.

“Sorry…” I yawned passing a hand over my eyes.

“No stay here, I just had your elbow stuck in my ribcage…” the bassist explained to me and kept me from going further.

“I am not a spoon-cuddler, especially after a night of just sleeping,” I muttered looking for a semblance of personal space. I went back to give him my shoulders ready to go back to sleep.

“Let’s fuck then, so that we can cuddle and keep being socially acceptable.” I felt his fingers gently trace the profile of my spine, then climb up my side to the edge of my thong. That simple touch was enough to shake my self-control, in an instant I found myself imagining what it would be like to feel his hands wandering fearlessly over my naked body.

I turned my head just enough to see his profile beyond my shoulder; he must had taken my look as an invitation to go on because he moved my dark hair to get better access to my skin and start depositing kisses on my shoulder.

His hand had risen up to my belly to hold me and to intensify the contact between our bodies. Now my imagination was sailing towards not-so-chaste thoughts. He suddenly let go allowing me to turn around and to find him on top of me, with a triumphant smile, hair more messed up than usual. We rushed into one another lips and although the delicacy of that kiss was non-existent our bodies kept touching as if for one moment to the other one could break. My fingers were touching his neck, and through his skin I could feel his pulse accelerating. The part of me that wanted to stop him gave up at the exact moment when his fingers touched the subtle fabric of my underwear. A sigh was suffocated by the insistence of his mouth.

His fingertips were a sweet torture as they rubbed my clit on top of the fabric, I could feel my body tensing up already with impatience.

“You have no idea how damned you made me, Maya,” he murmured between a kiss whilst expertly shifting the fabric just enough to gain access to my centre. One of his fingers slipped into me and started to move in a slow peace. He had stopped kissing me, and was now just watching my lips part as he added another finger.

I could not formulate a response in that moment, I was afraid that me saying something would have brought me back to reality, because even though I wanted him now so fucking bad, I knew that by the moment I walked out of that door I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I pulled up a little bit just enough to allow our mouths to engage in a rough, messy kiss, lasting only a few instants before he got back kissing my neck.

His bites made me silently moan while my hands reached for his erection to massage it following the rhythm dictated from his fingers.

“I want you to fuck me Nikki…” I was finally able to say. He bit me again with a hoarse groan, causing me a sweet pain I would be cursing him for over the next couple days. His fingers slipped out of me.

“I was only waiting for you to ask me, babe,” he said getting up to pull away my thong in a haste. He leaned back on me and while kissing me softly he entered in me, in the same exact moment in which Tommy decided to join us in the room.

“Sixx do you kn… oh shit. sorry. Sorry! I… I haven’t seen anything, I swear!” Tommy started rambling covering his eyes with a hand.

“Shit,” I exclaimed grabbing the covers to hide my modesty, sliding away from the bassist.

“What the fuck! What part of knocking is not clear?!” Nikki looked really mad.

“Sorry sorry sorry!” Tommy literally ran out the door, and probably went away to hide, leaving us alone again in an embarrassing silence. We stayed there, lying on our backs for a few seconds, avoiding each other’s eyes. Finally, I found the strength to get up and look for my stuff.

“Wait are you going for real?” Nikki asked pointing his elbows on the mattress.

“Well, the atmosphere is gone and plus you caught me in a moment of weakness, so…” I avoided his gaze finding my dress on the ground.

“So you’re just going to leave me here with a boner?” he asked, finally I turned to look at him. A little grin appeared on my lips.

“When you’re done jerking off, I’ll be in the kitchen with some coffee.” And as I said so I left the room.

*one week later*

I was singing along to Rick Springfield’s Jessie’s girl while organizing some new records that had been delivered that same morning. I had been working as a salesgirl at Remington Records for two years now and I considered it as my main job. It was a small music shop just a few blocks away from the Sunset Boulevard. Music was always playing out loud, the walls cluttered with signed pictures of bands that were yet to be discovered - Peter, the owner, collected ‘em in the hope of them gaining popularity, but by now he could count the ones who made it on just one hand.

Peter Remington Jr had inherited the shop from his father, and now he was patiently waiting for his son Jude to give up his dreams on a music career to go on with the family business.

“Do you need help, May?” Jude emerged from the back, walking towards me. He was the kind of guy every girl dreamed of, even with his feathered hair and chipped black nail polish he seemed like the classic boy next door. He could try to look as punk as he would but he looked too pure to be a rockstar.

“No honey I’m almost done,” I assured him while setting up the last records.

“Ya know my band is going to play at a party on Friday I was wondering if you wanted to come see us…” he queried. My eyes rose from the box to him.

“I would love to honey, but this weekend Mia will be with me, and ya know…” I lifted the empty box walking towards the counter. “Maybe next time,” I assured trying to hide the fact that it probably wasn’t gonna happen. It’s not that I didn’t support his dreams. I just wasn’t interested in following around a cover band whom members were pretty much only trying to gain popularity in order to fuck chicks was not my thing. You could hear the lack of passion in their performances; they didn’t care about their music, they were not able to weigh the lyrics and to give you an experience. Order Rythm… what a shitty name. Just as Mick would say: shitty name a hundred per cent of the time shitty band.

“Oh right, how is she doing?”

“She is doing great. She’s growing up so fast and she’s…” I was interrupted by the ring of the phone.

“Remington Records, Maya speaking, how can I help you?” I answered picking up the receiver.

“Oh Maya finally! I looked for you everywhere…” it was Ruby, my colleague at the club..

“Hi honey, what’s up?” I could hear an infomercial about slimming pants in the background.

“Yeah you know that I had booked this photoshoot for my book something like two months ago? Well the photographer is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, but I can’t really go. I was wondering if you were interested in taking my place.” I had spent the past weeks looking for a photographer on a budget without success.

“Uhm I would say yes but how much is that?” I asked. I was not willing to waste my savings for a photoshoot with a guy I didn’t even knew.

“Uhm I believe it is 600 but I already paid half of it, so you’ll have to pay 300 and give the rest to me whenever you have it.”

“I don’t know Ru, you know I’m trying to save up some.”

“Oh c’mon I’m gonna lose ‘em anyways so you don’t have to pay me right away.” A few seconds of silence followed, I was weighing up the pros and cons of the offer.

“Well… I guess I can do it. But I’ not gonna pay you if the photos sucks, deal?” If I was going to spend a whole month of rent on pictures they better be worth it.

“Deal!” she exclaimed, “Did I already tell you how much I love you?”

“It will never be enough. I gotta go, see you tonight Ru.”

*later that same night*

“Did you forgot to put on pants, sweetheart?” Vince’s voice joined me as soon as I climbed over the window, he jokingly gave me a glare of disapproval. I looked down at my micro-shorts: they were black denim with some cool leather fringes on the sides.

“Why? It would be such a shame not to show this nice booty.” I replied getting closer to him to kiss his cheek. His arm embraced my hip.

“How you doin?” he questioned, while I fixed his blonde Barbie hair behind his ear. I looked around at the party guests - as usual a ton of people was hanging in the living room.

“I’m doing great… Is that David Lee Roth?” My attention was caught by the singer who was sitting on a couch with a plate full of rails.

“It seems like everybody wants to party with us, isn’t it cool?” I nodded in response.

“Do you think he would mind if I ask him to sign my ass?” I questioned; Vince leaned back to admire my lower back once again.

“I believe it is worth a signature,” he agreed.

“Well then I’ll go get my autograph, but first lemme find Tommy, he has some stuff for me,” I grinned caressing Vince’s fluffy hair one more time before leaving. I walked through the crowded room looking for the drummer. I grabbed a beer on the way, waving at some people I knew. After wandering around the small apartment for what felt like an eternity, asking people for Tommy, a guy directed me towards Vinnie and Tommy’s room, where he was supposed to be with some chick he had met. I knocked on the door one or two times and then opened it since there was no response.

Bad choice.

“Fuck, we said we’re busy here!” a girl screamed stopping but not moving from her position, she sounded pretty mad. Laying on Tommy’s bed, underneath the red-haired girl wasn’t Tommy, instead it was Nikki.

“Shit.. I’m sorry I didn’t know” I apologized looking at the two of them. Nikki lifted his hand waving at me in a sort of awkward and embarrassed salutation, his pants pulled down to his ankles. I lifted my hand as well. “Well, sorry for interrupting, ehm… have fun,” I muttered awkwardly, closing the door behind me. Okay that was weird. I didn’t even have the time to process what had just happened as Tommy decided to show up right behind me. Fuck him.

“Where the fuck was you? I might have just experienced one of the most traumatizing moments in my entire life.”

“Oh you mean Scarlet?” Tommy let a hand go through his hair trying not to seem so amused, “That girl is wild isn’t she?” I gave him a hard look.

“I’m not interested in knowing what that girl does in bed. I’m more interested in the special snow you promised me.” I switched subject for the sake of my mental stability.

The drummer puffed sliding a hand in his pocket “Well May-May you know I always keep my promises.” He handed me a bag full of white dust.

“Is this for real?” I asked over excited while opening it and picking up some with my red painted nail. Tommy nodded looking at me while I snorted the little quantity of dust, the party was about to begin.

Nikki’s POV

I pulled up my black jeans looking at the lady that was now resting on Tommy’s bed. I couldn’t remember her name but for sure I would have remembered that she wasn’t the girl for me. Her experience and extravagance was not enough to compensate the desire to shut her up every time one of her annoyingly high pitched moans - that seemed fake as fuck- left her lips.

I fastened my belt and left the room without saying a word. Vince was right behind the door waiting for his turn.

“Third ride?” My question made him giggle like a three year old who had got caught doing something bad. He sneaked in letting me out. I fixed my hair walking calmly towards the party. Some girls were dancing to Bringin’ on the Heartbreak by Def Leppard. I looked around for some booze only being able to find a half empty beer.

An easily recognizable laugh burst through the room, mixing pleasantly with the music “Oh c’mon let me go!” I turned looking for the girl that lately was the object of my desire. Tommy was holding her wrists pulling her on the couch with him while she was playfully trying to escape. She stumbled giving up on her attempt and landing straight on the drummer’s lap.

“Oh shut up, stop it!” I moved joining the duo, taking a sip of my almost empty bottle.

Tommy stopped tickling Maya’s sides as soon as I reached ‘em.

“Oh look who is gracing us with his presence,” she greeted me fixing her leopard blouse – one sleeve had slipped down her shoulder.

“That quickie lasted a little too long, Vince was so impatient waiting for you to come out,” Tommy added letting her free.

I shrugged “It’s not my fault, she wouldn’t shut her mouth… plus she…” My explanation was interrupted by Maya.

“For how much I would like to hear about your sexual encounter, I’m gonna go,” she announced lifting a black denim jacket from under Tommy’s butt.

“C’mon May-May I told we’re going but later!” The drummer protested causing her to back off a little in order to escape from his hold.

“It’s so early, are you really going home?” It was barely one in the morning.

“I’m not going home, I just wanna buy some booze down the street, there’s nothing to drink around here.” She wore her jacket ready to leave.

“You CAN’T go outside like that all alone.” Tommy glared at her shorts.

Maya rolled her eyes “Said my father…” She was not going to give up. She was so fucking stubborn it was almost annoying.

“I’m going with her,” I volunteered finishing my beer. Her pretty pouty face suddenly lit up in a smile.

“Chivalry isn’t dead after all… Let’s go.” And with that she made her way to the window.

I followed her not knowing that the 20-minute walk was going to be more interesting than the party itself.

[rosegold-thorns]

memory lane // l.r.h

I’ve never done this before but consider me inspired 

Word Count: 1,669 words

Warnings: Lots of fluff

+++

You looked around your shared apartment, smiling in content at the cozy, now clean, environment.

It had taken all morning of heavy cleaning to restore some order, because let’s face it, living with your rockstar boyfriend got messy. Really messy.

Your eyes drifted to the only part of the room you hadn’t touched: a relatively useless closet that held miscellaneous items.

You looked at it, half having the intention to not open it and feel proud of the rest of the clean apartment, but the other half of you was too curious for own good and wondered what could be in there.

Making your way over, you pondered what you and your boyfriend of three years, Luke Hemmings, could’ve thrown in there.

Opening it and shuffling through the top collection of junk, your hand rested on a small box that was hidden under one of Luke’s old shirts.

After a moment of pondering you changed into his You Complete Me(ss) muscle shirt, letting it hang off your loose frame as you realized the “box” you touched wasn’t a box at all, but a disposable camera.

You looked in amazement at the small relic, not remembering exactly when it was from. Had it been a year ago, or two?

After careful inspection you see the film still hadn’t been developed, trapped inside the small yellow camera.

With a large smile on your face you hurriedly slipped on some adidas slides and ran out the door, grabbing your car keys and you wallet, and excitedly drove to the nearest CVS to develop the film.

***

As you ran into your apartment and absentmindedly slammed the door closed, you ran to your shared bedroom and jumped on it as it creaked slightly.

You tore open the small envelope holding the developed pictures and watched them spill out over the comforter.

You sat cross-cross applesauce and went through the pictures one-by-one.

After looking through about three blurry shots, you came across one clear picture of yourself, laughing and reaching out to the person behind the camera, and a little red faced.

You smiled down at the picture, acknowledging that it was Luke behind the camera, until it finally dawned on you where these pictures were taken.

“Baby,” you heard someone whisper beside your head.

“Mm” you mumbled softly.

“Baaaaby,” you heard again.

“Mmm” you mumbled louder.

“Babe!” You heard loud and clear, and if that wasn’t enough, the bed started to shake as you felt it move up and down with the weight of someone.You groggily opened your eyes, and turned on your side to find your boyfriend jumping up and down with a childish smile on his face.

A smile creeped its way to your face. “Good morning.”

His smile stretched even wider, if that was possible, pulling slightly at his lip ring he had kept at the time.

“Good morning,” he replied in a sing song voice.You eyed his jumping figure.

“You’re gonna hit your head on the ceiling babe, you’re too tall for this shit.”

“Nah, I’m not gonna b-“

Thump.

He plopped down dejectedly while you laughed.

“I told you so,” you said with a cheeky smile and a kiss on the cheek.

He sighed dramatically. “I know, I know, you’re always right.”

He eyed you with his striking blue eyes, and took one of your small hands into both of his large ones.

“Happy one year anniversary.” He said, and placed a light feathery kiss to the back of your knuckles.

Your heart welled with happiness, and you attacked him with a large hug that caused him to teeter a bit. You placed a large kiss on his lips and rested your forehead on his.

“Happy one year anniversary.” 

His smile was so big and happy that it was infectious, and you sported a matching one, giggling slightly as you realized your position: your thighs straddling his sitting figure, Nike Pros riding up slightly.

You both blushed as if you were 15, and you pecked him once more.

“What are we doing today?” You asked. “Lazy day?”

He bit his lip. “I actually have something planned.” He seemed nervous as he said it, but all it did was excite you.

“Really?!” You squealed. “What is it?”

He smiled. “Nope, its a surprise.”

You pouted, making that face he couldn’t resist. “Please?”

He looked away quickly. “No, I’m not falling for this again. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

And with a wink he flipped you over, peppered your face in kisses as you giggled, managing out a happy whine of “Luke!” as he laughed along, the same laughter that was high pitched and you just felt the happiness radiate.

***

“Luke the blindfold is kinda kinky, don’t you think?”

He let out a loud laugh. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, I don’t want you to see it yet.”

You felt the car he was driving slow to a stop and heard the keys pull out.Then you heard his car door open and close, and after a moment yours opened too.

“M’lady,” Luke said, and guided your hand into his and he led you out of the car.

“Luke,” you whined. “I wanna see.”

He said nothing but kept walking, keeping one hand on the small of your back.

“You can take it off in about... three... two... one.”

You felt his warm hands at the back of your head, untying the small knot of his bandana that he had wrapped around your eyes, much to your protest.

You opened your eyes, adjusting to the light that contrasted with the dark of the bandana.

A small gasp escaped your lips, taking in your surroundings.

A picnic blanket was set under a large tree, holding a small picnic, Luke’s guitar, and resting below the blanket was a huge arrangement of the pink petals that had fallen from the tree, spelling out a giant pink “I LOVE YOU.”

For once, you were speechless. You turned to Luke, your mouth agape.

You opened and closed it, but no sound came out.

Luke’s nervous eyes searched your own, looking for some sort of vocal reaction.

“Well?” He asked, rolling his lip between his teeth.

Instead of words, you pulled him in for the biggest hug, your arms wrapping around his broad torso, and his body felt like a shield, taking you in a warm embrace, his head buried in the crook of your neck.

“I love you,” you throatily whispered, willing yourself not to cry.

“I love you too,” he replied, response muffled by your mess of hair in your neck.

You pulled away and laughed shakily, willing no tears to fall from your eyes.

You looked around at the picnic and looked at Luke expectantly. “You made all of this?”

He smiled sheepishly. “I may have had a little help?”

You raised your eyebrow.

He giggled. “Your mom is the best, you know.”

You laughed out loud and lightly hit him on the arm. “My mom knew and she didn’t tell me!”

He shrugged. “It was better as a surprise, wasn’t it?”

You smiled and kissed him softly. “It’s perfect.”

***

The rest of the day had been spent at your spot under the tree, eating and singing along to Luke’s guitar.

You lazily tied your hair up in a bun resting high on your head, small strands of hair falling around and framing your face.You heard a distant “click”, and you turned your head to the side, watching as Luke snapped another photo of you.

You laughed and reached out for the camera.“Luke! Stop, I just put my hair up don’t take pictures now!”

Click.

He smiled cheekily behind the small disposable camera.“Not a chance, you look absolutely gorgeous.”

You blushed and snatched the camera, taking a picture of him as he protested.

You scooted next to him, holding your hand with the camera out in a selfie motion, snapping a picture of your two smiling faces, and another of your slightly shocked expression as he surprised you with a kiss on the cheek, and one last one of you kissing Luke full on, capturing his embarrassed blush as you smiled into the kiss.

You smiled at the collection of pictures in front of you, remembering that day like it was yesterday, but you couldn’t believe you’d left that camera in the closet for two years. You were both practically babies in those pictures, Luke’s hair was still in a falling quiff, and he adorned the lip ring. Your hair was so long and the tips had been dyed as well.

Now you were both so mature, but you couldn’t help love the pictures so much more now.

“Honey, I’m home!” You heard your boyfriend jokingly yell from the front door.

“In here!” You yelled back.

His heavy footsteps could be heard coming down the hall and you saw him peek his head in the doorframe of your shared bedroom.

As he leaned in, his long curls fell over and he made his over, giving you a knowing smile as he caught you eyeing the exposed area of chest that was on display from his open satin dress shirt.

“Hey baby,” his deep Australian voice said lowly, pecking you on the lips and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Your twinkled back at him. “Look what I found.”

His eyes fell on the bed, widening at the photos once he realized what they were.

He straightened up. “No way! Where did you find these?” He said absentmindedly as he shuffled through the pictures.

“We had thrown the disposable camera in the closet, with all of our other stuff, and I got them developed today. Can you believe how long ago this was?”

He smiled at the pictures. “This was forever ago.”

He looked up at you, running a ringed finger down your cheek as he looked in your eyes.

“And here’s to another forever,” and sealed the promise with a kiss. 

+++

[mcmansionhell]

50 States of McMansion Hell: Polk County, Iowa

Hello friends! I just realized I forgot to tell everyone that I wasn’t going to post this Sunday in order to catch up on work in preparation for finals. 

I hope to make up for it with this very sad house. 

Some houses require lots of creative backstories to make them fun because they are so boring. This house was so pathetic and sad that I really didn’t need to add many jokes about existential dread, late capitalist irony, or divorce. It kind of speaks for itself. 

To give you an idea, this is the most positive picture in the bunch:

This...house, built in 1995, boasts a whopping 5 beds and 6 bathrooms - and can be yours for around $700,000 dollars. Shall we?

Great Room (no foyer pics, sadly)

I told you it was depressing. There’s really no hope for that particular shade of oak in today’s housing landscape. The only time you see wood in that color these days is in Bass Pro Shops and unfortunate log cabins. 

But it’s okay, because they HAVE 

THE DANKEST SITTING ROOM EVER

LOOK AT IT. Just...feast your eyes on its majesty.

Ok, back to the depressing:

Sitting Room 2

Okay, I’ve never seen drawers beneath a fireplace before. What could you store in them besides fire supplies that wouldn’t get super damaged? Also the placement of the fireplace is just...bizarre. I’m not a fire safety specialist but I am concerned. 

Dining Room

I don’t hate my family, but if we all had to sit in that room together, all bets are off. “Honey, will you pass the potatoes?”  “No. No I won’t.”

This Kitchen

Also the stairs on the right are carpeted, and it’s ugly carpet. 

The Master Bed

I kind of get the high ceiling thing if this is the alternative. $700k and y’all can’t spring for something better? At least the trim is white. 

Master Bath

“Brown is an earthy color, warm and inviting. One can definitely not draw comparisons between brown and a common bathroom function.” - The Lowes Bathroom Decoration Book, 2004 Edition, probably 

Also I went with the wholesome meme™ his and hers joke just to cheer everyone up a bit during these hard times invoked by having to look at this insufferable place. 

Bedroom 2

My gosh this is sad. 

Bathroom 2

That window roof access came real handy Jimmy’s sophomore year of high school. 

Bedroom 3

will the sun ever come? 

Downstairs

I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. 

Bar

Suburban alcoholism is especially depressing because it’s a 30 minute car ride to and from the nearest liquor store so you have extra time to be alone with your self-loathing thoughts. 

THAT IS SO DARK!!! DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS HOUSE IS DOING TO ME????

Eldritch space

I personally would have killed to have been that unsupervised as a kid. 

Finally (finally) our favorite part:

Rear Exterior

This just defies logic. DEFIES IT. 

Anyways, that’s it for Iowa! I will actually post my Sunday post this Sunday, so get ready for some good time 18th century architectural theory. Also, join me next Wednesday for Kansas! 

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store - 100% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

[kbaldwin0609]

‘The Bachelorette’ Week 3 Recap: ‘Now I Just Feel Awkward’

Warning: This recap of The Bachelorette contains spoilers. 

And we’re right back in it, rose lovers! Rachel is on her way to meet DeMario, because she feels like she should let the guy explain himself, “out of respect.” Gurl, the respect ship sailed long ago — but okay.

Photos: ABC

As DeMario apologizes for not being “100 percent truthful” regarding “the Lexi situation,” the guys gather a few feet away, grumbling to Harrison that DeMario shouldn’t be given a chance to “save his ass.” Once again, gentlemen, there’s no need to worry — Rachel’s got this. She listens politely as DeMario pledges to regain her trust, and says he’s “begging from the bottom of my entire heart” for another chance. He even told his Uber drive her about her — so, like, they’re Uber official, you guys! But our Bachelorette, she’s a lot smarter than that.

“What you’re saying is not true,” Rachel says simply, interrupting DeMario’s stream of non-stop BS. “I need someone who owns their mistakes when they’re presented to them.” She goes on to inform DeMario that if he had admitted to his history with Lexi when she confronted him in the gym — rather than attempting, quite poorly we may add, to lie about it — “you honestly probably would be in the mansion right now.” Sorry, DeMario, but you’re a boy — and our Rachel needs a man. So make your way to the left, to the left, sir, because the Bachelorette is headed inside to hand out some roses, and you’re headed to Dumpsville.

With a dismissive “Thank you,” Rachel turns her back that loser and marches toward the mansion. “He’s not coming back, is he?” asks one worried guy. “F*** no,” retorts our Bachelorette triumphantly. Boy, bye.

Once the cocktail party is up and running again, things start off a little weird.

Maybe everyone’s just feeling playful now that DeMario and his toxic energy are gone? Alex attempts to impress Rachel by (partially) solving a Rubik’s Cube, and Will goofs around with a toy basketball hoop before dropping a little suave bomb: “I won last night, and I’d like to think I won again tonight.” And she LOVES it. “Aw, f***, look at Will with the lines!”

On the opposite end of the suave scale, here comes Lucas, who is either very tired, very drunk, experiencing a propofol hangover, or some combination of all three. As a result, during his precious few minutes with Rachel, Lucas makes the decision to talk about Blake. “He just doesn’t like me,” explains Lucas. “I don’t know if, like, he has a crush on me.”

Pause here for Rachel’s excellent lack of reaction to that statement.

Lucas proceeds to tell Rachel a story about Blake eating a banana suggestively near his bed, and it’s so clearly made-up-BS-for-TV that I am offended on Rachel’s behalf. WHY ARE THEY STILL WASTING HER TIME WITH THIS BOZO? Deadpan to the end, Rachel asks calmly, “Did he finish the banana?” (Our Bachelorette’s a pro — she knows they’re going to air this asinine segment, so she may as well be funny in it.)

Naturally, Blake denies the Banana Incident — “I don’t eat carbs because I’m on a ketogenic diet” — and we’re left to cross our fingers and say 1,000 silent prayers that Rachel will send both Blake and Banana Boy home at the rose ceremony. Survey says…

and, of course,

Happy news! Lucas and Blake (along with some guy named Jamey, who seems nice enough) are sent packing, while Brian, Bryce, Eric, Anthony, Will, Jonathan, Jack, Matt, Alex, Adam, Kenny, Brady (who?), Lee, Iggy, Fred, and Diggy join Dean, Josiah and Peter in the Rose Circle.

Lucas keeps his goodbye with Rachel short and polite, but Blake refuses to go quietly into the waiting embrace of the Reject Limo. “Honestly, I didn’t expect this. It’s just unfortunate that I was in the same category as… that drama,” he tells Rachel, talking over her as she tries to respond. “I know, I get it.”

Once outside, Blake lets all his rage out. “I hate him,” he huffs. “He lives in my town! I can’t get away from him.” Meanwhile, about 50 feet away, Lucas is giving his woozy exit interview, calling his feud with Blake “literally garbage,” and bellowing, “I don’t give a f*** about Blake!” And just as producers had hoped, Blake overhears Lucas’s ramblings and decides it’s “time to kill this guy.”

And thus ends the “mature discussion” portion of this encounter. Blake flips Lucas off and starts to storm away — but as soon as Lucas tells him to go back to his “garbage, clown life,” Blake starts frothing at the mouth again. “My clown life? I’m a clown?” How DARE the Whaboom call him a clown! After all, Blake thinks Lucas is the human equivalent of a fart joke, while he is a personal trainer. After another minute or two of sniping and trading derogatory imitations of each other, Blake gets in one final dig before leaving: “Let me know when you change the world, one Whaboom at a time.”

My God, it is so good to be done with these guys. (Until Paradise. Sigh.)

The next day, Harrison does his usual date card drive-by: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred, get ready, because you’re headed to the set of Ellen!

Yes, Ms. DeGeneres is a proud member of Bachelor Nation, so she’s invited our Bachelorette on the show to put some of the guys through a little test. First, Rachel debriefs her on the six men on the date. When Ellen learns that Jonathan tickled Rachel on Night One, she is not amused. “I don’t like that,” she tells Rachel. “Why is he still here?” Good question, honey! Sadly, we don’t hear Rachel’s answer — but we do get to see Ellen assault Jonathan with a revenge-tickle.

While the guys are waiting backstage to make their big entrance, Ellen taunts them by having Rachel talk about her first kiss on the show.

Jonathan says he’s “surprised” to learn that (at least) one of the guys has already kissed Rachel, which means he’s clearly never seen this show in his life. Once on stage, Bryan marks his territory by grabbing the mic from Ellen and announcing, “She’s a great kisser.” Ohhh, snap! Not to be outdone, Will jumps in with, “I’ll second that!” After a crude “sloppy seconds” retort from Bryan, Ellen shuts him up real quick: “Well, now we know that he kisses and tells.”

Enough talking, boys. Time to strip down and dance!

Yes, Alex is definitely “too into it,” as Rachel notes wisely. And yes, Ellen is correct with her observation that “tickle guy does not dance well.” Are any of us really surprised? Overall, though, the exercise is a successful one, per Rachel: “Mama was pleased!” This, of course, was before she learned that (at least) one of the guys has peed in the pool at Casa Bachelorette.

Ugh. Alex is gross. As are Will and Peter for admitting that they have texted someone “a nude selfie” at some point in their lives. Another fun fact gleaned from this round of “Never Have I Ever”: Frederick once hooked up with a woman twice his age. “Go figure,” says Rachel wryly. But it doesn’t matter — to Rachel, Fred is, was, and always will be the “bad kid from camp,” and if we get another rose ceremony this episode (doubtful, I know), I expect he’ll be headed home. But for now, Fred’s not done fighting, and he vows to “step up” and “show her my manly side” at the after-party.

With the kiss count at the after party rising ��� Alex (despite the urine issue); Will; Bryan; and Peter — Fred decides it’s now or never. “I’ve been waiting to kiss her for, like, 20 years, man,” he says. “But I just don’t know when the time will be right.” Um, I can hazard a guess here: Never. The time will never be right. Also, a little tip: If you want to create a romantic moment with a woman, do not announce to said woman that you are currently “creating that moment” by asking her permission to kiss you. As you might imagine, Rachel — a woman who is looking for a man, not a boy — is less than impressed.

Fred protests that he’s just trying to make Rachel feel comfortable, but his efforts have failed miserably. “Now I just feel awkward,” she says with a giggle. “I’ve never had anybody ask me — they just do it.” Fred’s all, uhhh, okay, and he clumsily scoots across the couch and smushes his face onto Rachel’s.

I’ll admit it, when Rachel picked up the date rose and asked if she could talk to Fred in private, I was momentarily horrified, fooled by Team Bachelorette into thinking she was about to go all Mary Kay Letourneau on us. Rachel, I am so sorry for doubting you.

“I just can’t reciprocate the feelings you were giving me today,” Rachel tells Fred, once they are alone. “I’m sorry.” Rachel, still carrying the date rose, walks Fred to the Reject SUV and then heads back inside and hands out the group date rose to Alex.

Remember Anthony, guys? Me neither. But we’re about to get a refresher, because a new day has dawned and Anthony, the 26-year-old education software manager from Chicago, has earned this week’s one-on-one date. And it’s a weird one.

Though he’s flummoxed by the date activity, Anthony the self-professed “city boy” simply chuckles and mounts his steed. As Rachel and Anthony ride their horses down the sidewalk, onlookers stop and point, yelling things like, “Wow, it’s the one-on-one!” and documenting the scene on their cell phones for Reality Steve. The date is not only sporty — it’s also a shopping spree. First, they stop in a chichi Rodeo drive boutique for some luxury cowboy duds (those boots Rachel left with go for $575.00), and after a quick cupcake pitstop, the duo heads to another store that sells ugly Beverly Hills letter jackets and slogan tees.

And of course, Anthony’s horse, Ted, poops in the fancy store — just as producers had hoped.

“Ted’s too glam to give a damn!” declares Anthony, quoting one of the store’s awful slogan tees. Rachel laughs heartily, because she knows a good callback when she hears it. That night at dinner, Anthony talks about his “perfect” childhood that was “rich in love.” He and Rachel seem to get along nicely, but I’m not really sensing a ton of chemistry. Still, Anthony gets a date rose — and he finally works up the courage to kiss her.

Later, back at Casa Bachelorette, Eric’s been stewing all day in his own insecurities, primarily about how Rachel seems “emotionally unavailable” to him. The Bachelorette, says Eric, is “playing a game” with him and any of the other guys she’s not really that into — just stringing them along until “she gets where she’s supposed to get.”

Well, duh. Once again, Bachelor Nation screams in unison at their TV: What show did you think you were signing up for, dummy? Frankly, it would be weird if Rachel saw a potential future with all 18 guys who are left, but producers need this show to last 10 weeks, so she’s being a team player. Iggy — who happens to believe in the integrity of the “process” — butts into the conversation and scolds Eric for his cynical point of view, and Eric does not appreciate that at all. “No one asked you for your input!” he barks. Did Eric get a little too heated too quickly? Probably. But in his defense, Iggy and his “clarity” were being pretty damn annoying.

Our final date of the week goes to Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, and Eric. Their date card said, “Sometimes in relationships, the women have to take charge,” so before heading out the guys all sit around trying to decode this incredibly cryptic message. Will they be going shoe shopping, because that’s something women like to do, and they use charge cards to do it? Nope, it’s worse.

That’s right, boys, Rachel’s “friends” Alexis, Jasmine, Corinne, and Raven have planned the entire group date, and they’ll be tagging along and judging your every move. Now all aboard the stripper bus, fellas!

The tawdry shenanigans don’t end there, as the actual date consists of mud wrestling in front of a bunch of thirsty “ladies” in some LA “saloon.” (Leave it to Corinne to plan something classy, right?) Doesn’t Dean look excited?

Not surprisingly, the only guy who doesn’t seem nervous is Kenny the professional wrestler. “These dudes is about to get they ass whupped in there today,” he tells us gleefully. It’s tournament style: Brady takes on Bryce (the latter wins despite the former’s indestructible hair); Dean overpowers Eric; Lee pummels Adam; and Kenny — of course — trounces Jack.

Round 2 finds Lee facing off against Kenny. (Luckily for Lee, this was before all those tweets of his came to light.) Still, it does not go well for the Southern singer.

Kenny may be a beast in the ring, but he’s also a gentleman — so he pauses mid beatdown to blow Rachel a kiss. Awww. Unfortunately for the pretty-boy pit bull, though, by the time the final match rolls around he’s exhausted, and Bryce edges out a victory.

While the guys go out back to get hosed off, Rachel asks her squad for their opinions about the guys. Everyone’s pro-Dead, but Raven reveals that two of the men told her Eric wasn’t the right guy for Rachel. The Bachelorette is shocked — shocked! — to hear this, and she vows to explore those “red flags” at the afterparty. But first…

God bless Kenny and his Chippendales past.

When Eric sits down with Rachel, he admits to “running” from his feelings in the past, but right now he’s “so vulnerable” and wants to know if she feels anything for him. “I’m happy that you’re here and I’m feeling that,” she assures him. “I want to get to know you.” Oh, and by the way, adds the Bachelorette, Bryce and Lee both told Raven you’re not here for the Right Reasons™ .

Yeah, it’s on. Eric returns to the holding pen to confront Bryce and Lee. As Jack and Kenny flee to the safety of the restroom, Lee informs Eric that he doesn’t think he’s right for Rachel because he “has the least relationship experience out of everybody here.” Also, adds Lee, there’s the little matter of Eric’s temper. “Last night, I walked in and you were screaming,” he says. “I still love you to death, and I think you’re an amazing individual. But hearing you yell at Iggy like you did last night… I never saw that side of you.”

It’s not a great side, that’s for sure — but Rachel has yet to see it. Instead, she sees her relationship with Eric going to “another level” after their chat tonight, so she gives him the date rose. Eric is beyond relieved, and thrilled that he can go into the rose ceremony with “peace and grace.” But we all know from the promos that his plan will, of course, be foiled.

Rose ceremony night arrives, and Iggy — who’s especially irked to see that Eric has a rose — pulls Rachel aside first to tell her about his “very heated” conversation with Eric. “I think that he thinks the loudest guy in the room is the rightest guy in the room,” says Iggy, who walks away thinking his one-on-one time with Rachel went “really well.” He then inexplicably decides to find Eric and fill him in on everything that he just discussed with Rachel — though he lies and says he didn’t reveal the fight was with Eric until Rachel asked. “I think your opportunities for growth are, to listen a little more,” continues Iggy, as though he’s a manager giving Eric an employee evaluation. “You’re so certain about what you want to talk about that you don’t listen enough.”

Eric doesn’t really understand why Iggy is trying to give him life advice — “What does this have to do with me finding love with Rachel?” — but he manages to keep his temper in check. At least, until he learns that Lee has been trashing him to Rachel, too.

“I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that my antennas are up,” Rachel says, “just because of what people have said to me.” Embarrassed and hurt, Eric gathers all the guys in the living room to yell at them. “Don’t make this thing about me, man. Make it about Rachel,” he says, pacing in front of his rivals. “If I’m meant to be here, let it be, and if not, don’t let that be your business.” Bryce and Lee try to remind Eric that he’s on a reality show and so yeah, people are going to talk about him behind his back, but Eric just yells louder for people to stop talking about him.

Hey, could someone please hold Bryan’s hand? He seems really freaked out right now.

Hang in there, Bryan, because Eric’s not done. “It is about me,” he bellows at Lee. “Because MY NAME IS IN YOUR MOUTH!”

Wouldn’t you know it, but our time’s up for the week. Looks like we’re gonna be on the “To Be Continued” train all season, rose lovers, so plan accordingly. Before you go, let me know what you thought of tonight’s episode. Which cut made you the happiest: Lucas, Blake, or Fred? Is it me, or was Kenny totally robbed of that mud wrestling belt? And honestly, who was that idiot male model and why were producers letting him talk to Rachel about boogers? Post your thoughts now!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have the sudden urge to apply a mud mask.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Read More From Yahoo TV:‘Twin Peaks’ Part 5 Recap: Digging for Gold‘Fear the Walking Dead’: Robert Kirkman on That Big Death and What’s NextReview: ‘The Leftovers’ Series Finale Was Achingly Beautiful

[technato]

Wearables Bring a Host of Tricky Legal Questions, Says Tech Attorney

Can your employer force you to wear a tracker? Can you replace your natural limbs with prosthetics?

Photo: Getty Images

Every new technology needs a good lawyer. For wearables, that’s tech attorney Kraig Baker, a Seattle-based partner in the firm Davis Wright Tremaine. When companies need to think through issues like data privacy for wearable trackers or the capabilities of smart textiles and sports devices, he’s the guy to call. 

Baker talked with IEEE Spectrum about the legal questions that will come up as wearables—including “embeddables” and “ingestibles”—become intimate parts of our lives. He sees these technologies as the latest step in a long trend toward human-computer integration. First desktop computers gave way to laptops, bringing computing into our homes; now laptops are giving way to mobile phones, bringing computing into our pockets and “our lives in motion,” he says. Next, wearables will bring computing onto and into our bodies. 

IEEE Spectrum: Thinking about the legal issues of wearables, the first things that come to mind are data privacy and security. How do these issues play out in wearables? 

Kraig Baker: In general, consumers are comfortable with people using their data in ways they expect. If my fitness tracker uses my data to make suggestions about my workouts, I may be interested in that. On the other hand, if I find out that it’s taken all my running routes and used them in a way I didn’t expect, I may get angry. 

We’ve seen that repeatedly with data privacy. But the thing that’s different and unique about wearables: You have something on your body that’s collecting a very intimate kind of data. Companies like Amazon are not collecting information about my sleeping habits or the salt in my sweat. 

Spectrum: So when you talk about wearables, you’re thinking way beyond fitness trackers, right?

Baker: People are using exoskeletons to help them do things, people will have hearing aids that do live translation of foreign languages. The FDA just approved an ingestible medical device that you swallow. And researchers are working on medical devices that embed trackers in your body. The intrusiveness and the scope of what they can do will expand over time. 

Spectrum: How are wearables being used by employers? 

Baker: This is one of the biggest areas of growth for wearables. A company might decide to put monitors on their truckers to see if they’re tired, or to see if their pilots have alcohol in their systems. Construction workers might want to wear exoskeletons so they’re not subject to overuse syndrome (repetitive strain injuries). 

Photo: Courtesy of Kraig Baker

Kraig Baker is a tech attorney and partner in the firm Davis Wright Tremaine. 

Spectrum: What legal issues come up when wearables are used on the job? 

Baker: The biggest issues are transparency and informed consent. The consent issue is tricky: Can you have informed and reasonable consent if the employer just says, “This is my policy”? In terms of what the employer can demand, it probably varies on a state-by-state and country-by-country basis.

The other big issue is ensuring a narrow use of the data collected—that it’s only being used in the way employers say they’ll use it. That’s something I call the honey pot problem: Now that the employer has this trove of data, how do we ensure they don’t use it for something impermissible?

Spectrum: The U.S. military has funded a lot of research into wearables, including projects on electrical stimulation of the nervous system to speed up learning and to improve the performance of warfighters and intelligence analysts who stare at screens all day. Do you think these issues of consent will play out in the military first? 

Baker: You have fewer rights in the military, they can just tell you to wear it. But the bigger issue is long-term health impacts and how that relates to conditions of employment. If the military is trying to create a hypervigilant fighter pilot out on a special ops mission, can they require the pilot to use certain devices, even though they know—or ought to know—that there are long-term physical or mental consequences to using those devices?

Spectrum: We’ve been talking about wearables used on the job. But can employers also use wearables to supervise the activities of employees when they’re off the clock?

Baker: We’ve seen this question come up in pro athletics. Some contracts have things like—You can’t ride a motorcycle during the off season. But can they make you wear a monitor all the time and then ask, “You were up till two in the morning. Were you tossing and turning because you’re nervous about the big game, or were you down in the casino playing blackjack?”

Spectrum: Are unions starting to raise these issues when they negotiate contracts? 

Baker: This has come up in the collective bargaining in pro sports leagues. Can you mandate that this is worn, and if you can, who owns the data? If the team owns the data, how can they use it? If the player is traded halfway through the season, does the data go with the player or stay with the old team, and can they use it for competitive advantage?

For other unionized workers, it’s certainly not the first negotiation point; they’re more concerned about pension, retirement, medical benefits. But this notion of being tracked, particularly by something I wear on my body, makes people uncomfortable. Employees want to feel they have autonomy. If you tell me I have to sit in this office or at this desk, I understand that as a typical condition of employment. But if you say, I have to wear this thing…

Spectrum: Do you expect to see a lot of pushback? 

Baker: It depends. What is the narrative that develops around this? Maybe we’ll find out that two or three companies overreached, that they tracked their employees and discovered personal information that they wouldn’t want shared. And then people won’t trust the technology. Or maybe it will be, “Oh my gosh, this technology just saved our lives because this chip disclosed that we had a drunk pilot.” In which case, people say, “That’s terrific.” You never know what will go viral.

Spectrum: We’ve been talking mostly about whether people can be compelled to use wearable technologies. Will we also see cases where people are demanding the right to use wearables? 

Baker: I think wearables for augmentation bring the biggest, most interesting, and most legally scary questions. Maybe in order to augment my performance now, I’m willing to use a device that will take time off my life later. Under what circumstances am I considered a rational actor who can make my own choices?

I heard a talk by the director of MIT’s biorobotics lab (Hugh Herr). He has prosthetics because he was in a climbing accident many years ago. He now has four or five sets of prosthetic legs—and he can climb better with his new legs. What do we do with the first person who says, “I want to be a cyborg, I want someone to cut me off at the knees because then I’ll be able to perform better at my job or my passion”? Maybe it will be someone who can be a better concert pianist because they can use their brain to direct their prosthetic hands to operate in new ways. I think this is gong to be an enormous issue.

Spectrum : Are the laws and regulations behind the technology? Will these questions all get sorted out in the courts? 

Baker: That’s the way the law always is with technology. Think of the senators quizzing Mark Zuckerberg on what Facebook is. They showed a fundamental misunderstanding of the technology. And Facebook has been around for a while, and 2.9 billion people are using it. How are they going to think about things like, “I want to augment my brain with computer chips” or, “I installed a neural net in my brain so I can control a bunch of drones”—this really edge case, science fiction, comic book kind of stuff? But it is conceivable that someone could do it in the next 10 to 15 years. 

There isn’t a legal framework for thinking about these things. The law is behind, and it will continue to be. But that’s okay—it keeps me employed. 

Wearables Bring a Host of Tricky Legal Questions, Says Tech Attorney syndicated from https://jiohowweb.blogspot.com

[warmheartworldwide]

Why the West Isn’t Necessarily the Best

The following blog comes from Luca Schweizer who has been at Warm Heart for about six weeks:

Before I came to Thailand I had only lived once outside the modern Western world that most people would probably describe as “civilized”. That was on an isolated island in Micronesia where I volunteered for three months on an education project. While I was there, I pondered several questions: What is civilization? At what point can a culture be called “civilized”? Is the entire concept something invented by Westerners in their arrogance to label Western cultures as more civilized?

I wasn’t thinking about these questions when we set off for the small mountain village of Mae Soon a few days ago. When Cutter, Warm Heart’s driver and all-around key employee, started the engine, everybody in the truck, especially me, was just excited about the trip. I later found out that many of the Warm Heart children come from this village; they now live at Warm Heart during the school year but go home during the breaks. Also with us was Napan, Warm Heart’s head housemother, who has a wonderful, caring relationship with the kids.

Riding in the back of the truck

As I already knew, nobody worries too much about safety rules here in rural Thailand: there were five people crammed in the back seat of the truck while all the kids sat in the open back. It was already almost night-time when we left Warm Heart. As we left the last town with buildings in brick and stone, the way soon changed from a good asphalted road to a winding red-brown dirt one. The sky was pitch dark as we entered into the mountainous vegetation.

Bumpy road leading to Mae Soon village (photo: Anne Bannister)

After a couple hours driving through the night, we finally arrived. My first sight was some simple, wooden houses. Some people came and greeted me. I was guided into one of the houses where some old ladies watched TV sitting beside a traditional fireplace. At first I was confused but then I realized that even the most remote mountain village has been touched by globalization.

Nong Aom, new Warm Heart kid, in his village of Mae Soon

They served us food: rice, several dishes containing vegetables and meat, and sticky rice sticks packed in banana tree leaves. After joining the old ladies and watching a bit of Thai TV I went to bed. I slept on some thicker blankets laid directly on the floor but that was no problem because I personally like hard beds. Napan turned all the electrical lights off and then there was only moonlight in the complete darkness. The only sound was the dogs barking. I closed my eyes with an odd calm inside me. This place had something special.

Interior of Mae Soon house – basic but nice (photo: Anne Bannister)

Early next morning I was woken by Chan, one of the youngest girls. I showered scooping cold water from a bucket. Again I had no problem because I am used to cold showers; it helps you to wake up in the morning. The little hong nam (water room) also had a Western-style toilet that you flush with water scooped from the bucket.

As I left the small house, I had my first incredible view of the village which sat on a hill with rice fields spread on the other side of the valley. The kids and I went down to a stream and to the rice fields where a farmer was bringing his cows and buffaloes out. The fog was rising from the fields into the blue sky. The kids and I built a dam in the stream for fun. Then we caught some little fish and shrimp which we ate raw. I had never done this before and it felt wonderful.

Villagers get milk and meat from cows and buffalos (photo: Anne Bannister)

We went back to the house to have breakfast which consisted of different dried beans, seeds and the same stick rice like yesterday. Then the children showed me the rest of the village which was bigger than I expected. They gave me fruits to eat and taught me their names in Thai and the local Lanna dialect. A special fruit I had never seen before called machan was really sour or, if you got a ripe one, sweet like honey, and I liked it really much.

Every little household we passed by invited us for a snack like the one I had in the morning. They also wanted me to drink Thai whiskey with them which I did a few times. It seemed to me like the adults, mainly the men but some women also, drank quite often throughout the day. Surprisingly, when the Warm Heart kids saw the adults drinking, they strongly showed they were against it and said things like “not good”. They were quite happy whenever I refused the invitations to drink lao, the Thai word for whiskey. I guess this attitude is something the kids learned from being at Warm Heart which alone shows the hugely beneficial influence that Warm Heart has on the kids and their lives.

Residents of Mae Soon are hospitable and friendly (photo: Anne Bannister)

We also saw men building walls out of bamboo pieces which they cut and then wove together. We met a small elderly woman who was unable to speak but who was very friendly. Even though I really appreciated being in this village, the afternoon showed me why life here in the long-term might be relaxing but also quite boring. First of all, it got really hot – and we’re still in the cool season – and the sun burned down so nobody could do anything. Most of the kids were just laying around listening to music. The adults drank more alcohol and smoked cigarettes and maybe marijuana.

Maybe it is a Western or even German thing to be unhappy if there is nothing to do. I didn’t get bored that day but I think that even if the villagers are more used to doing nothing, they would probably appreciate more things happening in their daily life. Luckily then I met a guy called Gorf. His English was very broken but we could still have a basic conversation. Otherwise only the kids could speak some English but often I could not understand what they were saying. Gorf and the kids taught me some Thai words and sentences: language really can open doors.

Beautiful view of Mae Soon rice paddies (photo: Kathy Tarantola)

In the evening some of us returned to Warm Heart. It was already dark by the time we got back. I was tired but filled with all the extraordinary moments that I had the privilege of experiencing. My very short time in Mae Soon village certainly taught me a lot. First of all, it showed me again how different cultures and people’s lives can be. In the West, we are taught many pre-conceived ideas about culture, traditions and social hierarchy. But most of these concepts don’t exist in nature and there is nothing that says which are the right ones to live by.

I learned that you don’t need to always be doing something all the time in order to consider yourself lucky. To have a good life, it is really important to maintain the right balance between work and free time. I also see that wealth is not the only way to obtain happiness. You can be happy with really few things and still be satisfied with your life. What constitutes happiness is a personal decision and mainly depends on your attitude towards things.

After my few months outside of Germany, I’ve opened my mind a lot about what “civilization” is and am more critical about if it is good or not. For me, “civilization” now includes not only the Western way of life but also any form of social collaboration where people use tools to make life easier. Every kind of civilization has its pros and cons. I would also really like to live in the village of Mae Soon and hope I will be able to return.

Mae Soon path to nowhere (photo: Kathy Tarantola)

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[whereintheworldisdani]

Monday October 16th, 2017 - Sunday October 22nd, 2017. The bulk of this post is going to be about my birthday over the weekend, but before I get into that, I do want to talk about the great experience I had at Epcot on Thursday.

I decided I wanted to avoid cooking and grocery shopping, so I went to Food & Wine at Epcot right after work. I spent a good deal of my time there walking around Japan and Great Britain (surprise surprise, right?). I actually posted a video of some of the drum show they do in Japan, it is really entertaining so I encourage you to check it out. In Japan there is a Japanese department store which I spent way too much time in (probably). There are SO many different types of souvenirs and candies and clothes and things in the store. And yes I wanted to buy it all. However, I settled on a post card and a picture. When I checked out, I got to speak in Japanese to the cashier (or at least what Japanese is left in my brain to speak). It wasn’t much, but it certainly was something.

After that, I wandered into the tea shop in Great Britain. As we all know, I LOVE tea, and what tea do I love the most? Twinings. And what was the only tea they sold in the shop? You guessed it (hopefully). There were also lovely tea cups and pots and mugs in the shop. BUT there were also biscuits and Mars bars which I have missed so dearly since leaving London. And there probably isn’t any shock or surprise as to what I bought: Lavender Earl Grey Tea, biscuits, and a Mars Bar. I struck up a conversation with the cashiers about being a Disney Cast Member and having lived in London (one of them was quite impressed I could pronounce his hometown “Leicester”, England. Look it up, probably not pronounced the way you think).

Later I met up with some friends and we ran around to a bunch of different food stalls for dinner. It was a pretty fantastic evening for lack of a better way to put it.

And then the weekend happened. WOW what a birthday. Honestly, this may have been the best birthday yet, or at least it is in the top. But really, how great does a birthday at Disney sound? And even better, my lovely and wonderful parents flew in for the occasion. This past weekend was truly amazing.

On Saturday I picked mom and dad up from the airport and we wasted NO time; we hit the ground running and took off for Epcot to check out the Food & Wine Festival. We made a quick stop at “Club Cool” (the place where you can taste Coke products from around the world) so we could try some sodas and get myself a birthday button. Pro tip: if you are looking to feel like the royalty you truly are, pick yourself up a birthday button at any store in the Disney parks. On the surface, it is just a circular pin that says “happy birthday” on it, but underneath, oh it is SO much more. You put that thing on and BOOM you get smiles and happy birthdays left and right! People even write happy birthday on stuff for you, and you get gifts when you go out to eat!

So with my new super power on hand, the three of us took Epcot by storm. We went to food stalls in Scotland, Ireland, The U.S., and Australia, and honestly probably others, we ate so much food. We also road on Test Track and Soarin’. I’m convinced Soarin’ has become mom’s new favorite ride. She was in complete awe the whole time. But as far as Test Track went… well you can see in the photo that only one of us wasn’t so photogenic. You can also check out the car Dad and I designed.

At night, we went the Biergarten restaurant in Germany. In true Bavarian style, they seat you at a table with random people, and there is a buffet full of AMAZING German food. And while you eat, there are performers playing instruments and singing songs. I was a big fan of the place. 10/10 would recommend. And of COURSE what helped to make it awesome was the waiter printed a Biergarten birthday certificate for me, and gave me some Mickey and Minnie stickers.

Oh, and a note on the people we were sharing a table with: there was a guy there by himself, and a family of four, and then the three of us. The guy who was there by himself was from just outside of Seattle, and as you all know, my lovely brother Craig and future sister Heather live in Seattle, and the family of four was from Portland (not the same, but near there at least). And then the guy from Seattle was talking about how he had just come from Baltimore before going to Disney, which is what my parents did (they had just spent the weekend in Baltimore), and the father of the family of four is originally from Baltimore. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. The mother of the family of four was celebrating her birthday this past weekend JUST LIKE ME. WHAT?! Pretty crazy.

So now on SUNDAY (my actual birthday) Mom and I went to Hollywood Studios while Dad had to rest up his knees for the Halloween party later in the day. I, of course, had happy birthdays left and right, and even the barista at the Starbucks wrote happy birthday on my drink. Honestly, I felt like royalty. Like, people telling me happy birthday just made me feel on top of the world.

Mom and I did all our favorites and then some. I took her to the Frozen Sing-a-Long, and we cracked up the whole time. We also went to the Beauty and the Beast show, which we went to when I was a tiny human. When it gets the part in the show (or any rendition of Beauty and the Beast) where Beast turns back into a human, and he says “Belle it’s me!” And then she looks at him and says “It is you!” We always laugh because when I was little, I always called him “Prince Itisyou” and my parents never knew why, UNTIL they took me to see the Beauty and the Beast show at Hollywood Studios. Mom says it was the biggest “aha” moment ever. Anyway, when it got to that point in the show, mom and I started laughing, and then we started crying, and then we were laughing and crying. He will forever be Prince Itisyou.

Afterwards we saw The Voyage of the Little Mermaid and rode on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, Star Tours, and Tower of Terror. It was a long day, but it was GREAT.

AND THEN in the evening, we snagged Dad, I put on my costume (Honey Lemon from Big Hero 6; look up a picture for comparison, I look just like her, and FOUR people recognized me and complimented me), and we headed off to Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. For five hours in the evening, Magic Kingdom turns into one giant Halloween party, complete with trick or treating. We started the night on Space Mountain, the single most greatest ride in the world. The whole party, however was started with the Sanderson Sisters of Hocus Pocus brewing up a “party potion” with the help of some villains. Check out the videos I have posted, they were AMAZING. I absolutely adore Hocus Pocus, and it was amazing to see the Sanderson Sisters perform. Where else could this happen other than Disney?!… and well I guess, Salem in 1993, but whatever.

Later, we rode the Haunted Mansion, which Dad doesn’t think is scary, but I think it is pretty terrifying. Then again, I can hardly watch a Goosebumps film without jumping. After that we went on Peter Pan WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON. Shocking, right?! Seeing as I know that film, book, and all other adaptations backwards and forwards. The cue leading up to the ride is truly magical. You get to walk through the Darlings’ home, and see the nursery and Peter’s shadow appears, and Tink comes in as well! It is safe to say I love the ride. It is amazing, at least for those of us who are obsessed with Peter Pan.

We got off the ride in time to see some of the Halloween parade. The parade has TONS of characters, and they all dance and sing along to the Halloween music playing on the loud speaker. Again, check out the photos, I even posted a video of the Jolly Roger (Captain Hook’s ship in case you don’t know).

We had to leave the parade early in order make our dinner reservation at Be Our Guest. Now, Be Our Guest is this amazing French restaurant made to look like Beast’s castle, complete with picture gallery, Ballroom, and West Wing. Before you enter, a host comes out in the dim light carrying Lumiere to escort you in and to your table. They play instrumental versions of the music from Beauty and the Beast over the speakers, and Beast comes out to meet his guests. Dinner was delicious. I had ratatouille, and tried the onion soup and shrimp and pasta my parents had. It was all just wonderful. And for dessert, the waiter brought out a plate of the Grey Stuff (it’s delicious!… if you don’t get it, please listen to Be Our Guest) with a candle, and in the shape of Mickey. It was such a wonderful surprise, and he later came up with a birthday card signed by Belle and Beast. Truly, the birthday button has power. After we paid, we met Beast and took a photo with him. He was quite the gentleman. Maybe someday Prince Itisyou will be there to greet guests…

After we left, I was wiped, but the parents wanted to run around and snag as much candy as possible. Honestly, from the way we were talking you wouldn’t be able to tell who was the parent and who was the kid (I had work the next day, so sue me!). It was so much fun. Honestly, the day was practically perfect (in every way!… really, if you don’t get it, then get on my level).

I could not have asked for a better weekend. Thank you to EVERYONE who wished me a happy birthday; it meant the world to me. And also, thank you to my parents for flying out to spend it with me and make it AWESOME.

This adventure is brilliant, and I am loving every minute of it. (Well maybe not EVERY minute, but you get it! Right?)

Until next time!

[northshorehealthandfitness]

[caption id="attachment_62589" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Hachette Book Group[/caption] Chrissie Wellington, 40, started competing in triathlons on a whim. Though she grew up swimming on her local team, she never took it too seriously — practicing just a few times a week. Her studies always seemed more important than training sessions, after all. But she casually began running in 2000 while earning her master’s degree. And she ran her first marathon post-graduation, finishing in 3:08. It wasn’t until 2004 that the now four-time Ironman World Champion competed in her first triathlon, at the suggestion of a friend. She took the next year off to live and work for the government in Nepal, where she got stronger in biking just because of the lifestyle there. Then, when Wellington returned to the multisport event in 2006, she snagged a first-place finish — just one day after learning how to properly mount and dismount a road bike. By 2007, she turned pro. RELATED: How Ironman Competitors Fit In Training (And You Can, Too) That’s the fascinating thing about Wellington — she almost makes winning an Ironman seem simple (not to be confused with easy). “I only ever wanted to do Olympic distance [triathlons], because Ironman was for crazy people,” she says. (An Ironman typically involves a two-mile swim, 112-mile bike ride and a full marathon run.) “But then my one coach persuaded me to do it and the rest is history.” Of course, Wellington worked hard to compete, training seven days a week for multiple hours a day — but for her, winning is just that straightforward. RELATED: A Beginner’s Guide to Triathlon Training

Why Mental Toughness Matters, According to an Ironman

What makes Wellington stand out is her passion for a challenge — one that tests her body and her mental fortitude. “There are many people with that physical talent [in sports], but you need a combination of psychological strength and physical aptitude,” she says. “So people in triathlons, they might have their log books and check off their sessions. But they don’t realize that they also need to train their minds… to be calm, to cope with discomfort, to cope with adversity and to cope with lapses in motivation.” For Wellington, this means training through the discomfort of a hard swim, bike or run, visualizing happy times (along with her friends and family) before a race, counting numbers over and over in her mind on long treks, and reciting Rudyard Kipling’s poem, If, on repeat in her head. Winning requires a certain headspace, and for Wellington, this is the formula that gets her there. RELATED: Just Not Feeling It Today? 33 Sources of Workout Motivation  [caption id="attachment_62590" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Hachette Book Group[/caption]

How to Win: Chrissie Wellington’s Triathlon Training Tips

So what else does this repeat champion do to guarantee success? Before heading off to Kona to cheer on competitors at the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii — where she’ll also be indicted into the Ironman Hall of Fame — we scored her essential race day tips. Read on to learn what a triathlete champion eats in a day, how to deal with nerves and more. And snag your own copy of To the Finish Line, which holds a plethora of Wellington’s training tips, here. RELATED: 15 Top Picks for Tri Gear If You’re on a Budget or a Baller

On fueling for a race...

These days, Wellington cooks for her entire family, making her favorites like spaghetti bolognese and shepard’s pie. When she was competing, she also used to love making big batches of foods, particularly snacks, for the week ahead. That included energy balls (her favorite, made mostly out of seeds, peanut butter and dried fruit), flapjacks and mini muffins. Her overall meal plan during training:

1st breakfast: Corncakes or rice cakes with nut butter and honey, plus coffee when she wakes up

2nd breakfast: Oatmeal with nuts, seeds like chia or flax, coconut and natural yogurt post-workout

Lunch: A sandwich likely with turkey or chicken and a baked potato and salad for lunch with avocado

Recovery snack: One smoothie with frozen berries, a banana, molasses for iron and a bit of milk after another workout

Dinner: Fish, chicken or turkey, veggies in a stir fry or salad and a grain like potatoes, rice, buckwheat or quinoa

On how to face the swim...

“Familiarity breeds confidence, so if you’re familiar with the environment that’s very important,” she says. Translation: Put on your wetsuit and get out in that open water before race day. And of course, keep breathing. “A lot of problems that people encounter come from withholding of breath,” Wellington says. “When you panic, you hyperventilate or you hold your breath. And neither of those are very productive when swimming. So really try, if you’re going to control one thing, control your breathing, because then your whole body will relax.” RELATED: 6 Open-Water Swim Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)

On calming race day nerves...

“Accept that everyone gets nervous,” Wellington says. “People are scared when they get nervous and they get worried because they’re nervous, which exacerbates the anxiety.” Instead, embrace it and know that your nerves will subside as soon as you start, she says. Also, adopt her practices of visualization and deep breathing — and have a little perspective. “Knowing your goal is important, but it’s not the be all and end all...Don’t worry about what you can’t control and go out there and race as best you can, with the body and mind that you’ve got on the day. That’s all you can ask yourself. It can be life-impacting when you cross the finish line, but you will still be the same person afterwards. So I think you just also have to keep everything in perspective.”

On what she learned from her first few races...

Looking back, Wellington can admit she realized no race — or even prep for that race — has gone perfectly. “Your perfect race is when you overcome imperfections perfectly,” she says. “Shit happens, right?” she admits. “If you deal with that shit perfectly, then that is what perfection is. [It’s] not to expect that your goggles won’t get knocked off, that you won’t get a cramp, that you will never feel discomfort. Because you will, you just have to deal with it. So I learned that. And I learned not to be scared when things go wrong. That I had to only control the controllable.” RELATED: 13 Race Day Tips for Newbie Runners

On what winning Kona means to her...

“It’s a validation of all the hard work that myself and my team have put in. It’s the achievement of a goal that’s so gratifying and so satisfying. It’s an opportunity to inspire other people and it’s a platform. Because sport is selfish. I mean, it is. It’s self-indulgent...You’re just focusing on you and achieving something for you and you alone. But you can make it unselfish, because you can use it as a platform to talk about things you care about. You can use it as a platform to talk about things that inspire other people, to raise awareness about different issues. You have the opportunity to make quite a selfish pursuit less selfish. So for me, winning is very, very important because it gave me a platform to do so much more.” 

On why she stopped competing professionally...

Wellington decided to retire in 2012, after earning her final first-place finish at the world championships in Kona. “I crashed my bike two weeks before, and I didn’t know if I could [even compete], and I was in and out of the hospital. I really didn’t think I was ever going to win that race, but I think I got through on my psychological strength, because my physical strength was so depleted. So that really proved to me that I was the champion that I wanted to be. That liberated me. And that’s why I retired at that point, because I had nothing more to prove to myself.” RELATED: Bored of Running? 2 Goals Every Runner Needs

On why she decided to share her race strategies...

“[To the Finish Line] was a way to share all of the lessons I’d learned over my life journey — not just my triathlon journey, but my life journey — to enable other people to achieve their goals,” she says. “I wanted to speak from my own experiences, but then enable people to draw from my experiences and apply it to themselves...I wanted to inspire people and I wanted to bring some simplicity to an otherwise perceptively quite technical and complicated subject. I just wanted to make training accessible to people.”  Read More Want to Become a Better Athlete? Train Your Brain Train Like an Athlete with This 30-Day Plan How Athletes Thrive Off Fear — And You Can Too

The post What An Ironman Champion Eats in a Day (And Other Race Tips) appeared first on Life by Daily Burn.

via Fitness – Life by Daily Burn

[yhenvillasblogs]

031217 | … and the best dressed award goes to: dressing up in relation to impressing the male species, victim blaming and rape culture

The mere fact that what the victim was wearing is always taken as a causal factor to rape is problematic. The mere fact that women are taught not to wear “too provocative” clothes because men have “natural urges” is really absurd. The mere fact that women needs to constantly adjust themselves from their environment when the problem was the ones who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves is unjustified.

My favorite fashion designer, the late legend Oscar de la Renta once said that we should “Walk as if three men are walking behind you”. Whatever he means by that, I think the quote could be wildly misinterpreted into a hundred different connotations but will leave a single implication: that confidence and self-esteem is gained from the so-called spectators. I am short, round and the only average sized about me is my shoe size. Still, that didn’t stop me to dress however I wanted, buy pretty clothes that I know would flatter me at the same time never compromising style. I was complimented countless of times on how I carry myself, from my personal fashion sense to my postura walk. From the things I’ve said, I pretty much implied that I dress for my own novelty and interest, not because I intend to impress anyone. So yeah, I’m sorry Mr. de la Renta, I love you so much, but I beg to disagree.

“.... I dress for my own novelty and interest, not because I intend to impress anyone.”

Contrary to the title (and in Mr. de la Renta’s defense), the quote doesn’t really directly relate to victim blaming and rape culture, no, but what this quote meant for me is somehow a reminiscent of the realities a lot of women face everyday. Just last Thursday, I decided to wear one of my favorite skirts I own, an H&M bejeweled navy pencil skirt. To balance its fanciness, I matched it with my oversized white v-neck shirt and matching navy sneakers. Boy, do I look real good, knowing I’m all dressed up in such a pretty skirt. That alone made me feel good.

Now here’s the kind of tricky part: I ride a public jeepney to and fro and wearing skirts on such a cramped seating is basically the bane of my existence (re: round size. Ever heard of chub rubs? Ugh). So there, I sat, did my usual business of listening to music, forming my own K-Pop bubble around me when I noticed a flash going off in front of me. The culprit: a red phone that is weirdly, strategically faced across my legs. Now, I’m not the aggressive type or the kind of person who posts rage rants about experiences like this. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of posts like that are really creepy and I’m glad that people are getting extra vigilant but sometimes, it could get out of hand, like wrongly accusing someone of sexual harassment. Back to the damn flash, I immediately looked up and gave a dirty eye to the guy in front of me. Of course it’s intrusive, but whatever he just did, either the flash of his phone accidentally went off or, heaven forbid, he just took a photo of my legs (which is not even skinny or long, I mean, it’s still wrong, but, yeah, what the actual fuck), I gave him the benefit of a doubt even if he never acknowledged it nor excused himself for letting his phone’s flash go off and minded my own business again.

Hours later, when all that jeepney fiasco was long forgotten, me and my friends were going out of the library when we passed a table of college juniors (I knew because one of them is familiar) and one of them allegedly uttered “San Christmas Party?” (the jab means being tad overdressed on an occasion or place, often derogatory when used). Me and my friends laughed it off but we also got kind of pissed because we never really knew that guy personally and, to be brutally honest, in his ratty underclassman uniform, he is in no place to judge. Honey, don’t talk shit about my style, he’s lucky I’m not the one who heard that or I’ll look at him from head to toe and make him know I don’t like what I’m seeing.

These two scenarios are just a glimpse of much worse situations women could experience on a daily basis. See, we can never really get it right on the eyes of some men, not that we are trying to, but they make it know that we definitely should. People are so quick to judge, so quick to make criticisms that in the luxury of putting their self-righteous two cents on a situation, they forget that their opinions don’t actually matter. Bonus points if they get mad that their comments are ignored, oh how fickle minded ye irrelevant men then.

“... if the woman is comfortable in her own skin and she likes what she sees in front of the mirror, her perception of herself is the only thing that matters.”

Now here’s a better Oscar de la Renta quote to back me up with my point: "When I started, the woman went to the store to buy a dress. She saw it in pink and red, and then she remembered that the husband, who is probably going to pay for the dress, loves it in pink. So she buys the pink. Today, the same woman goes to the store and remembers the husband likes pink, and she buys the red." That’s what I’m trying to say, that over the years, women are finally putting themselves first. No more retro housewife vibes, despite how I adore the glam. For so long, a lot of us women ask for affirmation, there was a neurotic need for acceptance and keeping up with what’s “fitting” and “proper” and “lady-like”. Decades have past, women finally “got ideas” and broke down all the norm. Women can become feminine or edgy or androgynous or avant garde and no one should bat an eye because if the woman is comfortable in her own skin and she likes what she sees in front of the mirror, her perception of herself is the only thing that matters. So I’m sorry I’m not sorry, junior guy, but we never really asked for your opinion.

What’s good about that issue is that it’s getting resolved as time goes by but there are still problems we often face, and wherever women are, they experience a version of these horror stories every single day. Back to the jeepney ride story above, if I’d react hostilely, people would be too quick to notice the skirt I’m wearing, that I shouldn’t have worn it in the first place, that I should sit properly because I did and only then they would probably judge me for accusing a man of harassment without any proof. On the positive note though, the people might back me up but it can be too far fetched: the ugly truth here in the country is that the victim is often blamed and shunned, they are often accused of hogging attention and will be advised to keep their mouths shut and clothes not too provocative.

Now don’t tell me rape culture doesn’t exist here in the Philippines. Just take the recent news about death penalty. As much as I don’t want to be more political on an already political post, I think this is the timely example on how flawed the justice system is when dealing with an equally alarming social issue. Rape was eliminated from the criminal cases that would receive a death penalty when proven. First, what the fuck. Second, what the actual fuck? Seriously, if my opinion is relevant, honestly, the whole death penalty issue is still ambivalent for me (I’m pro-choice, mind you, but the fact that a lot of innocent people could be wrongly penalized scares me) but when rape charges became only secondary, if “not as grave”, to drug related crimes, that’s when I further realized how fucked up the whole bill is. As what I’m saying, it’s a sad fact that rape is taken too lightly, not only by the people, men and women alike, but also in the eyes of those who are in power. Filipinos are too quick to point their fingers on the victim. As if the victim wanted to be harassed, as if the victim was asking for it.

Now you were asking what the fuck am I blabbering about, how my assumed unconsented picture relates to rape culture? The mere fact that what the victim was wearing is always taken as a causal factor to rape is problematic. The mere fact that women are taught not to wear “too provocative” clothes because men have “natural urges” is really absurd. The mere fact that women needs to constantly adjust themselves from their environment when the problem was the ones who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves is unjustified. The mere fact that I was afraid to voice out my complaints because of judgments and blaming if I do so along with the doubts of being actually harassed under my nose are some of the indications of how awful the rape culture is in here: you resort to self-silencing because you don’t want the issue to get out of hand because, again, you were aware of the consequences, consequences that would only take you at the disadvantage than the other person instead of justifying and defending yourself as you should. And that’s fucked up. My situations could be deemed as minor and I don’t want to fuss all over it (writing a lengthy essay is enough haha) but to those who actually gets harassed, physically and verbally, voicing out what you feel might be really hard but to hell with close minded people: stand up for yourself, punch the guy if you have to and slay that fucker.

In conclusion, would these experiences hinder me to dress myself however I liked? Hell no. I already had the conviction that I dress up because for the simplest fact that I wanted to so I got it at bay. As for the potential harassment, I think next time, I will be geared with a better judgment formation. I think it’s … kind of good that I didn’t freak out that moment in the jeepney just because of a mere flash and I don’t have a concrete proof anyway (and, again, in the man’s defense, he never really looked at me creepily the whole ride, I don’t know, maybe, see I’m still doubtful). But push my buttons, I tell you, I’ll wreck havoc and whoever fucker will try to cross me will regret so, even if I’m in my Sunday’s best.

[technato]

Wearables Bring a Host of Tricky Legal Questions, Says Tech Attorney

Can your employer force you to wear a tracker? Can you replace your natural limbs with prosthetics?

Photo: Getty Images

Every new technology needs a good lawyer. For wearables, that’s tech attorney Kraig Baker, a Seattle-based partner in the firm Davis Wright Tremaine. When companies need to think through issues like data privacy for wearable trackers or the capabilities of smart textiles and sports devices, he’s the guy to call. 

Baker talked with IEEE Spectrum about the legal questions that will come up as wearables—including “embeddables” and “ingestibles”—become intimate parts of our lives. He sees these technologies as the latest step in a long trend toward human-computer integration. First desktop computers gave way to laptops, bringing computing into our homes; now laptops are giving way to mobile phones, bringing computing into our pockets and “our lives in motion,” he says. Next, wearables will bring computing onto and into our bodies. 

IEEE Spectrum: Thinking about the legal issues of wearables, the first things that come to mind are data privacy and security. How do these issues play out in wearables? 

Kraig Baker: In general, consumers are comfortable with people using their data in ways they expect. If my fitness tracker uses my data to make suggestions about my workouts, I may be interested in that. On the other hand, if I find out that it’s taken all my running routes and used them in a way I didn’t expect, I may get angry. 

We’ve seen that repeatedly with data privacy. But the thing that’s different and unique about wearables: You have something on your body that’s collecting a very intimate kind of data. Companies like Amazon are not collecting information about my sleeping habits or the salt in my sweat. 

Spectrum: So when you talk about wearables, you’re thinking way beyond fitness trackers, right?

Baker: People are using exoskeletons to help them do things, people will have hearing aids that do live translation of foreign languages. The FDA just approved an ingestible medical device that you swallow. And researchers are working on medical devices that embed trackers in your body. The intrusiveness and the scope of what they can do will expand over time. 

Spectrum: How are wearables being used by employers? 

Baker: This is one of the biggest areas of growth for wearables. A company might decide to put monitors on their truckers to see if they’re tired, or to see if their pilots have alcohol in their systems. Construction workers might want to wear exoskeletons so they’re not subject to overuse syndrome (repetitive strain injuries). 

Photo: Courtesy of Kraig Baker

Kraig Baker is a tech attorney and partner in the firm Davis Wright Tremaine. 

Spectrum: What legal issues come up when wearables are used on the job? 

Baker: The biggest issues are transparency and informed consent. The consent issue is tricky: Can you have informed and reasonable consent if the employer just says, “This is my policy”? In terms of what the employer can demand, it probably varies on a state-by-state and country-by-country basis.

The other big issue is ensuring a narrow use of the data collected—that it’s only being used in the way employers say they’ll use it. That’s something I call the honey pot problem: Now that the employer has this trove of data, how do we ensure they don’t use it for something impermissible?

Spectrum: The U.S. military has funded a lot of research into wearables, including projects on electrical stimulation of the nervous system to speed up learning and to improve the performance of warfighters and intelligence analysts who stare at screens all day. Do you think these issues of consent will play out in the military first? 

Baker: You have fewer rights in the military, they can just tell you to wear it. But the bigger issue is long-term health impacts and how that relates to conditions of employment. If the military is trying to create a hypervigilant fighter pilot out on a special ops mission, can they require the pilot to use certain devices, even though they know—or ought to know—that there are long-term physical or mental consequences to using those devices?

Spectrum: We’ve been talking about wearables used on the job. But can employers also use wearables to supervise the activities of employees when they’re off the clock?

Baker: We’ve seen this question come up in pro athletics. Some contracts have things like—You can’t ride a motorcycle during the off season. But can they make you wear a monitor all the time and then ask, “You were up till two in the morning. Were you tossing and turning because you’re nervous about the big game, or were you down in the casino playing blackjack?”

Spectrum: Are unions starting to raise these issues when they negotiate contracts? 

Baker: This has come up in the collective bargaining in pro sports leagues. Can you mandate that this is worn, and if you can, who owns the data? If the team owns the data, how can they use it? If the player is traded halfway through the season, does the data go with the player or stay with the old team, and can they use it for competitive advantage?

For other unionized workers, it’s certainly not the first negotiation point; they’re more concerned about pension, retirement, medical benefits. But this notion of being tracked, particularly by something I wear on my body, makes people uncomfortable. Employees want to feel they have autonomy. If you tell me I have to sit in this office or at this desk, I understand that as a typical condition of employment. But if you say, I have to wear this thing…

Spectrum: Do you expect to see a lot of pushback? 

Baker: It depends. What is the narrative that develops around this? Maybe we’ll find out that two or three companies overreached, that they tracked their employees and discovered personal information that they wouldn’t want shared. And then people won’t trust the technology. Or maybe it will be, “Oh my gosh, this technology just saved our lives because this chip disclosed that we had a drunk pilot.” In which case, people say, “That’s terrific.” You never know what will go viral.

Spectrum: We’ve been talking mostly about whether people can be compelled to use wearable technologies. Will we also see cases where people are demanding the right to use wearables? 

Baker: I think wearables for augmentation bring the biggest, most interesting, and most legally scary questions. Maybe in order to augment my performance now, I’m willing to use a device that will take time off my life later. Under what circumstances am I considered a rational actor who can make my own choices?

I heard a talk by the director of MIT’s biorobotics lab (Hugh Herr). He has prosthetics because he was in a climbing accident many years ago. He now has four or five sets of prosthetic legs—and he can climb better with his new legs. What do we do with the first person who says, “I want to be a cyborg, I want someone to cut me off at the knees because then I’ll be able to perform better at my job or my passion”? Maybe it will be someone who can be a better concert pianist because they can use their brain to direct their prosthetic hands to operate in new ways. I think this is gong to be an enormous issue.

Spectrum : Are the laws and regulations behind the technology? Will these questions all get sorted out in the courts? 

Baker: That’s the way the law always is with technology. Think of the senators quizzing Mark Zuckerberg on what Facebook is. They showed a fundamental misunderstanding of the technology. And Facebook has been around for a while, and 2.9 billion people are using it. How are they going to think about things like, “I want to augment my brain with computer chips” or, “I installed a neural net in my brain so I can control a bunch of drones”—this really edge case, science fiction, comic book kind of stuff? But it is conceivable that someone could do it in the next 10 to 15 years. 

There isn’t a legal framework for thinking about these things. The law is behind, and it will continue to be. But that’s okay—it keeps me employed. 

Wearables Bring a Host of Tricky Legal Questions, Says Tech Attorney syndicated from https://jiohowweb.blogspot.com