#i really need to finish some of it my adhd just doesn't want to focus

[midnight-skylie]

How many dbda fics I'm writing at the moment? 5!

How many of them I am probably close to finish if I'll actually be able to dedicate my willpower to focus on them? Most!

What am I gonna finish soon? Eh.....

What I want to write? Something new!!

[stark-88]

I'M BACK FOR MORE THEORIES!!!!!!

So, I have been thinking about the scene where they are at the Lakehouse, in the forest leaning up against that tree. And again, my ADHD is working overtime here so it's going to get messy. But, just hear me out.

It has to be their first day there, they would want to have a moment alone since they haven't had a second alone since Alex and Nora went to pick Henry and Percy up. And technically, Alex hasn't told his dad about them yet and Henry I'm sure still wants to have some semblance of safety even though he is with friends and i'm sure the security that has signed NDA's.

Here are some low quality screenshots I grabbed to show my theory of why I think this is the same day.

As you can see Alex is wearing the white V-Neck shirt, yes i'm sure he has tons of these but its for the theory. Also if you notice on the jeans on his knee he has a very distinctive white faded mark on them.

I'm sorry I could not get a better picture of them leaning up against the tree from far away, but you can see Alex's outfit. And the white marking on the knee. And obviously, Henry showed up in some fancy outfit, so he was going to change into something that is more comfortable. I'm sure Alex suggested he wanted to show him around the property, which is just code for I want to get away from people so I can kiss my freaking "casual" boyfriend

When they do get alone, maybe Henry was still just a little bit hesitant about how much affection he should display when there might be people around? So he needed to just close his eyes and just trust Alex, because if he opens them he doesn't want to be looking over his shoulder looking for anyone, he just wants to focus on Alex.

And Alex, sweet, caring, loving Alex, reassures Henry by saying "It's just you and me." And he can barely finish before Henry reaches in and kisses him.

Again, I went on a rampage with this post when all I really wanted to get across was that I think that what Alex says in the gif.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Right, so, I've been seeing some persistent misconceptions in fanfiction where a character has ADHD. I'm a man of color with ADHD and I want to clear some things up. This is specifically about how people tend to write Ed Teach, but it can apply to other characters you're writing with ADHD. And I'd love if other people with ADHD, especially other people of color with ADHD, have any additions to tack on!

These things are NOT what ADHD is.

ADHD does not make you "stupid." This whole thing was inspired because I just read a fic where Ed cites his ADHD as evidence he's "dumber" than the other characters (and this was supported by the writing in the story). There is no correlation between ADHD and intelligence, and we know that Ed is a genius!

ADHD does not automatically mean that someone can't finish school or can't succeed in demanding academic fields. I'm working on my PhD. It just means your character needs coping skills.

ADHD does not mean that someone will "hyperfixate" on or suddenly lose interest in relationships, whether romantic or platonic.

ADHD doesn't mean your character struggles with personal hygeine or keeping their home clean. Please stop making me read fics that characterize a man of color as dirty or incapable of keeping his home clean and excusing it because "he has ADHD!"

ADHD doesn't mean that your character will need someone to look after or supervise everything they do. Ed does not need a White man to take care of him or make sure his work gets done.

ADHD doesn't mean a character will be unable to sit still, focus, stay on-task, or sit in silence 100% of the time. We all have different tolerance levels and those can change depending on current circumstances.

Here are some more realistic, interesting ways ADHD can impact successful, smart characters of color, like Ed.

He might feel the need to be hypercompetent, all the time.

He might get frustrated with himself. ADHD can be frustrating! You can be on top of things 99% of the time at work and school, and have people look up to you, and then you'll realize that you've been forgetting to book that doctor's appointment for six months straight now and you'll feel like a failure.

He might overcorrect symptoms. For example, he might have trouble keeping a neat, organized space and know that messes stress him out, so he overcorrects by being a bit of a neat freak and avoiding mess wherever possible so his space never becomes unmanageable.

He might struggle with The Evil Boredom. That's when you feel super understimulated and nothing is enough to help.

He might have trouble sitting still or saying quiet when he's nervous, feeling strong emotions, or in a boring environment or trying to do a boring task (the scene where Ed struggled with being still and quiet while fishing, while also feeling strong emotions of guilt, was super relatable).

I like to write AuDHD characters (with both autism and ADHD), and it can add a fun new dimension! I personally headcanon Ed as AuDHD. When you have both, symptoms can be frustrating because they can feel contradictory (for example, my autism demands I keep a neat, tidy space and I like routines, but my ADHD means I have trouble keeping things tidy to my standards and routines are super boring).

And finally but crucially: it's obviously okay to headcanon a character as ADHD or with any other neurodivergence when you're White. However, it's important to remember that the experience of neurodivergence looks different for people of color. Boys of color with ADHD, for example, are often overdiagnosed with ODD and labelled as "defiant" or "uncooperative." I often avoid telling White friends and coworkers that I'm AuDHD because it tends to make them infantalize me, as if I haven't already proven to them I'm a capable adult. People of color often have to go undiagnosed or without appropriate medications (if needed) and/or are misdiagnosed. If you're writing about a chracter of color with ADHD, I really recommend finding a sensitivity reader.

[cowardnthief]

10 actual ADHD study tips

from a student with ADHD

(or if you just have trouble concentrating)

1. put your phone in different room.

no, really. there can be any number of excuses not to (i use it as an alarm/timer, what if there's an emergency, but i use it during breaks) but i guarantee that you will focus better without the ability to check your social media. if you're genuinely worried about missing a phone call, don't put it on silent, and leave it across the room so you can hear it, but make sure it's out of reach.

2. invest in some noise-cancelling or muffling headphones.

they're a life-saver. i use them to help with sensory overloads, but now i wear them pretty much every time i study. regular headphones with some kind of neutral backing noise also work pretty well.

3. don't listen to music.

maybe somewhere, somehow, there exists a person who can actually listen to music and focus, but i've never met one. my adhd means i get distracted by anything. i'm a good multitasker, but not when the task requires lots of thought, like my science or math homework, or that english essay i've been putting off. if science is distracting for you as well, put on a neutral background noise (no, not lo-fi hiphop beats - unless that works for you). i usually put rain sounds or white or brown noise (the latter is my favourite).

4. break big tasks into small chunks.

you've probably heard this one before, but adhd makes tackling big tasks seem really daunting. like, where do you even start? before beginning a massive project, make a list of every little thing you need to do. it might seem stupid or excessive, but i can't stress how much it helps. it also gives you a sense of accomplishment whenever you knock a task off the list.

5. if you know you're gonna procrastinate, try and do it productively.

this one is one i'm still getting used to. i realised, after hours of sitting at my desk, not wanting to start on my essay but not wanting to actively NOT write my essay, and just generally feeling like shit, that it would have been better to spend those hours doing that thing i wanted to do (learn that song on my guitar, finally finish the painting sitting on my desk, write the poem that i had scribbled in my notebook a week ago). if you know you're not going to get started on your work, you might as well do something else that isn't as pressing but you still need to get done. it's okay not to be 100% productive al the time.

6. have a clear workspace.

this is a big one. i found that having a lot of stuff on or around my desk just makes me feel fenced in. i like to have 1 lamp, 1 cup of pens/pencils/highlighters, a cup of tea, tissues, and whatever i'm working on. when you're done with a task, PUT IT AWAY ASAP. that way, it doesn't build up, and you can feel ready to start on the next thing.

6.5. eliminate distractions.

i feel like this relates to the point above, but don't have lots of visible posters/lights/tempting tasks. maybe close your blinds or your door, or study in a library instead of your room if it is too bright and colourful.

7. the pomodoro method (organising your breaks).

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. the pomodoro method involves working for a consistent slot of time (usually 25 minutes, but whatever works for you) and then having a short break (5-10 minutes), and then a long break every 2-5 "slots" (15-20 minutes). if you don't trust yourself to stick to a timer, get a cute app on your laptop - there are heaps of different themes, and it will help you organise your time and tasks. instead of thinking about a task like "it will take me 2 hours", think about it like "it will take me 4 slots of time", and it will be much less daunting.

(note: for your breaks, try not to reach for your phone/social media. this is a rabbit hole. maybe draw for a minute, or read a few pages of a book. do something you can easily and quickly put away.)

8. organise yourself, but try not to hyperfixate on it.

apps like notion can be really helpful when organising tasks/your workspace, but they can also suck hours of your time away if you're not careful. not everything has to be perfect/meticulously planned, and you're not working on your homework by planning your weekly schedule. speaking from experience, it's really easy to get caught up in something that may feel productive, but really isn't.

9. this is really niche, but... for my reading-glasses wearers:

WEAR THEM WHEN YOU STUDY. i'm very mildly farsighted, which means wearing glasses when i read for long periods of time helps me prevent headaches. technically, i can go without them, and for a few years i usually did, but i've noticed that wearing them when i study has the benefit of getting me in the right headspace, and also stops me from looking up or around my room too often, as the prescription makes me dizzy when looking at things far away.

10. just get started.

i know you hate hearing this, but usually, knocking one or two things off your list can help you get motivated. often, things that seem really difficult or time consuming aren't as bad once you've gotten started.

good luck!

[pixiemage]

I deal with ADHD on a daily basis, meaning I struggle with multiple (frustrating) things. There's one in particular that's been on my mind the most as of late: it's difficult for me to complete large tasks easily. For me, motivation, mental energy, and time are limited, and those rare moments where it all lines up so I can get shit done are often few and far between. This applies to both things I don't want to do, and things I do want to do. Even writing or cosplay construction or editing videos can become daunting tasks even though they're all fun and enjoyable hobbies of mine.

Recently, I've been trying to clean my room.

As anyone in my immediate family can tell you, this has been a big problem since I was young. My room starts clean, but then I put a few pairs of shoes by my bed, then don't have the energy to deal with the growing laundry pile, then can't find a place for the new mic stand I got for my birthday, then I start dumping jewelry on my bedside table at the end of the day when I'm tired, then - then - then. And then it builds to a disastrous tipping point and it has become this massive, incomprehensible task I have to tackle, and because my brain hates me, it's a frustrating and grueling process to even figure out where to begin.

But deadlines help (pressure helps) and I have found that working on it in the wee hours of the morning (from midnight to like 5am) is somehow a way to get my brain to focus on it. For some reason I work better then. Arguably, this isn't logical or useful every day because I need sleep and I have work, but I made MASSIVE progress two days ago by staying up way too late on a night when I finally found the drive to get shit done.

That's not really the point of this post though.

The point is that I've found that a majority of society (or maybe just the NT community in general) have a hard time seeing progress as worthwhile when completion is better.

"Did you finish your room?" "Not yet, but I dealt with that massive pile of crap on my couch! It's SO much better, and I can actually see the floor in front of my dresser now, and-" "That's not what I asked. Did you finish?" "Not yet." "The answer is no, then."

It doesn't matter how much I've done. It doesn't matter how proud I am of my partial progress. It doesn't matter that I fought tooth and nail to get to the point I'm at, because unfortunately, I haven't finished it all yet, so it's not good enough.

(And I know I have a deadline, and I know we have family coming over soon, and I know that being done is the goal, but the deadline isn't here yet. Give me time. I need time.)

I think we as a society need to award and praise ourselves more for the efforts we put in, whether we reached a finish line or not. I'm not saying we shouldn't strive for completion, because at the end of the day that's often the goal of any task. But we should also let ourselves be proud of how far we have come as long as we're doing our best. I don't see that often enough. I continuously struggle to reach that finish line, but hey, I came this far today! I didn't reach Toad so he could tell me my princess was in another castle (because god knows there's always another task), but I did hit that checkpoint, and since I've been struggling through this level for as long as I have, that's still worth celebrating in some small way. It's still worth all the coins I collected and the goons I defeated to get to this point.

Don't reprimand your kids because their hard work thus far doesn't quite live up to your standards. Applaud what they've done and then help them find the right next step so they're motivated to keep going.

It takes a lot of work to save a princess. The journey has a lot more monsters than just the dragon.

[critical-birb]

My personal tip for writing really long fanfictions as someone with crippling ADHD is to give myself a little treat in every chapter, rather than trying to work towards a big treat.

When I was younger and would try to write something long - there would always be a particular scene or a plot twist I really wanted to write, and writing the rest of the story felt like a chore to get there. I'd either lose focus during world building to get to that scene because it was taking too long, or would make it to that scene then abandon the story afterwards because the dopamine vanished.

As an adult I realised what I needed to do was have a scene like that in EVERY chapter. It doesn't need to be a whole story changing plot twist - sometimes I just think of a devastating line I want to write, or a particular little joke, or a cute moment with some characters. And I just focus on that, and the fact I have like 2000 words to make that scene happen in, I can churn it out in one sitting and get my little happiness boost from that one scene. Then once I'm finished, I'm ready to focus on the next chapter because there's a new little dopamine hit to work towards.

I also know myself well enough to know that if I look back at something I've written and go "ugh - it's not quite the way I wanted it...", the most productive thing for me to do is to just...post it anyways. Because the liklihood is that if I stop and go back to rewrite it, I'll get stuck. The dopamine will be gone and I won't be able to continue the story. If I just post it and move on to the next chapter - most of the time I realise people loved it anyway, and if it continues to bother me I can always go back and edit it later - or simply write another story doing a better job some time in the future.

[returnsandreturns]

I got a spicy idea but I'm not brave enough (like you) to write it, so I bring it here, for you to do what you want with or ignore

ADHD-coded Foggy has trouble focusing on his cases because the thing he needs to do is boring and doesn't give him enough stimulation. He complains about it to Matt. Matt offers to help by making things more exciting and adding some stimulation.

And that's how Matt ends up under Foggy's desk and Foggy gets a blowjob while he tries to read case law.

Would that actually work? I'm not sure. Maybe for a while. But it's an excuse for getting things spicy.

i literally sat down and wrote this as soon as i read it and it's almost 1k

i did change it to college, though

--

"You're never going to finish if you keep coming to complain about it," Matt says, before Foggy can so much as say a word as he gets up to lean against Matt's bed where he’s sprawled out listening to music and doing nothing else because he’s efficient and organized and better. 

"How are you finished already?" Foggy asks, accusingly. "What's your secret?" 

“I went to the library,” Matt says, “where it was quiet and there was nobody to distract me.” 

“Are you saying I’m a distraction?” Foggy asks. 

“In the very best way,” Matt replies, with a smile that Foggy wants to kiss off his face. “I can leave and give you the room if you want.” 

“No, my desire to have you carnally is only one of the several different thought processes that are keeping me from finishing these fucking citations,” Foggy says, sighing. “I’ve also got three different songs stuck in my head and am losing an imaginary argument with a professor as we speak and I really need to wash my sheets or you won’t want to be in them which is very important to me and now I’m back to carnal–” 

Matt interrupts him by surging up to kiss him. 

“I have an idea,” he says, “that I’m. . .85% sure won’t work at all.” 

“Could be worse odds,” Foggy says, suspiciously.

“Wait there,” Matt says, pressing one more kiss to his cheek before getting up to brush past him, move Foggy’s desk chair to the side, and crawl under the desk on his hands and knees. It’s an awkward fit and Foggy can’t do anything but watch him with wide eyes as Matt settles on his knees with his head lifted out from under the desk.

“. . .catch me up,” Foggy says, wide-eyed.

“Maybe it’ll help if you’re only distracted by one thing?” Matt offers, hesitantly.

Foggy makes an incoherent noise. 

“Foggy, I’m going to blow you while you finish your paper,” Matt says, sighing. “Are you interested?” 

“. . .yeah, yes, absolutely,” Foggy says, almost tripping over his own feet to get back to his chair, feeling a little faint at the concept and at the smile that Matt gives him when he rolls the chair back and spreads his legs a little more. 

“Keep working,” Matt prompts, running fingers up one of Foggy’s thigh until he slides them under the waistband of his sweatpants. “If this works, we’re going to both be valedictorian.” 

“Valedicktorian,” Foggy breathes out, gasping when Matt pulls his sweats down just enough to free his erection. 

“Absolutely not,” Matt says, laughing, ducking down to lick a stripe up Foggy’s dick, making a satisfied noise before he takes it in his mouth for just a moment before he pulls off to say, warmly, “Work.” 

“Right,” Foggy says, faintly. “Work.” 

It’s definitely hard to pay attention because Matt is extremely good at this but there’s something to his theory. The feeling of Matt’s tongue moving when he’s got Foggy deep in his mouth, close to his throat, is the only other thing he can focus on. He’s getting a little more done than he had been and Matt seems like he doesn’t mind taking his time to make sure that Foggy doesn’t get off too quickly. 

“Your neck has to be hurting,” Foggy says, when Matt sits up a little and bumps his head on the desk, swearing softly. 

“Shut up,” Matt says, again, warmly. “I’m working, too.” 

“I firmly believe you could do this professionally,” Foggy says. 

He gets lost in the feeling of Matt getting him close over and over, slumped down and wishing he could touch him, run his fingers through Matt’s hair, pull it like he likes. He’s just wrapping things up, though, checking citations and looking for typos, so it’s not that hard to just let his brain wander between the two.

“Do you think you’ve done enough?” Matt asks, eventually, resting his head on Foggy’s knee.

“Are you bored?” Foggy asks. 

“It’s less fun when I’m doing it all myself,” Matt says. 

“I need to proofread one more time,” Foggy says, shutting his laptop and scooting backward in the chair, gently taking Matt’s hair to lead him out, “but this is more important.” 

Matt immediately gets back to work and Foggy runs fingers through his hair, tightens them occasionally to hear and feel Matt moan, tells him how good it feels and how good he’s doing because he knows being called good does something to Matt that they haven’t fully unpacked. After almost a full hour of being teased, he doesn’t last long and Matt swallows when he comes in his mouth, wiping off a little from his lips when he sits back on his heels. 

“Well?” he asks, looking gorgeous with messy hair and a swollen mouth.

“I mean, it didn’t not work,” Foggy says, laughing.

“Science,” Matt says, climbing into his lap, one knee resting on the chair between his legs as he leans down to kiss him.

[circusislife]

Hi! I saw in your pinned post you were open to sharing tips about adhd, and I've been struggling with it so much recently I swear. Could you share any tips in general, or specifically for starting tasks? no pressure ofc you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable with me asking ^-^, just let me know and I'll disappear into the windy wind

(warning: infodumping has been unlocked, prepare yourself :) )

ok, first of all, living with adhd is different for every person. mine your and everyone else's experience is unique and that means not everything that helps me will help you and vice-versa. you might want to tweak my advice to fit you better. that said, onto the infodumping! :D

let's see, I'll start with study tips!

you know that moment when focusing is a struggle and you feel like your head might explode but you keep studying? that's not a sign that you are stupid or dumb. it's a sign that your brain has reached its limit. your metabolism is struggling to produce enough dopamine to keep working, you need a break. depending on how exhausted you are you might need anything between 5 minutes and 20. don't remember where, but I once read that the average neurotypical should alternate 40min of focus to 20 of break, so there's that.

also, for that break, either do something completely unrelated to the task and that you really enjoy, or physical activity. that's because the first one helps you produce the used up dopamine because it's something you enjoy, the second one works because it speeds up your metabolism, all your metabolism, including the production of neurotransmitters. (doesn't need to be that much physically taxing, just enough to get your blood pumping. going up and down the stairs five times, doing a set of pushups, jumping in place a bit, anything goes)

also, don't fight the jitters. they are your body's way of unobtrusively speed up your metabolism and help you focus. the best way to deal with them is channel them in a socially acceptable way (bounce your leg, but keep the tip of your foot on the ground so it doesn't make sound, braid and unbraid some strings, twirl a pencil, stretch, play with your hair, play with a necklace...)

using timers to deal with time issues is useful, too. best if used in tandem with a schedule. (those are freakishly hard to make and harder to uphold tho, it's best to keep them simple, like "I'll start on homework 20 min after lunch", without specifying when lunch is, and leave some free time to make up for delay. also, if you really need to do something, tell someone else. I don't really like this, but the perceived obligation will twist anxiety into boosting your productivity. the body-double works more or less the same way, peer pressure nagging you into action)

other tip. if you have problem starting on homework, start from what's easiest or what you enjoy the most. finishing something soon or doing something with success will give you a confidence and dopamine boost that might be just enough to struggle a little less with the rest.

to memorize something, try to associate it with something else, build yourself some "memory anchors" as I call them. can be anything. "near the name of that historical figure resembles that of a Pokemon" remember the Pokemon, remember the name. "the date of this battle looks like a funny word/ has numbers in a particular sequence" remember the word, or the made up sequence, remember the date.

also, highlighters draw attention. make sure to switch up the color to avoid a memory soup, but used the right way they can help form the anchors.

I'm not much one for summaries (my brain is going to cut off a part of the text any way, might as well feed it the text that has something to be cut off), but they, alongside side notes, are a good way to trigger your memory once you've studied.

if you need to remember a date/appointment, either tell a few people and ask them to remind you or write it down everywhere , multiple times, and set up alarms.

create habits. for example, choose a few spots to leave your phone, and leave it there and only there, no matter what. if the place of the house keys is in a backpack pocket, don't put them down anywhere for even a second. keep them in your hand until you can put them back. if you have to take some pills at a certain time and some other just during the day, try to take them all at once so you don't mix up which one you took. you might struggle at first, but give it a few weeks and it will be worth it. if you can ask for help from a family member to remind you in the beginning.

if possible, separate your work environment from your relax environment. the brain works by association. if you associate sitting at the desk with work and laying on the bed with free time, in time simply switching place will help you slide in the right mindset.

using music as background noise is tricky. sometimes I prefer absolute silence, others the music will cover distractions and the change of tune snap me back to reality after getting lost in thoughts. it variates. only notice, if you like to sing, avoid anything with lyrics. you don't need the temptation ;). video-games' background music is one of the best options, because you're already used to its presence and not paying attention to it.

always have snacks and water in range. it makes it harder to forget to eat/drink if it's in sight.

find your limits and respect them. if my brain stops working properly after 6pm or tot hours of intense effort, pushing it much farther will do more harm than good. toeing the line little by little is fine, but all at once is just asking for headaches.

give into your hyperfixations any time you can afford it. actually managing to do something and learning new stuff is not only useful, but will also give you a boost of dopamine!!! :D

also, I find that having something always running in the back of my head actually helps! I mean, my mind is going to wander and get lost no matter what, but if I at least have an idea of where it's trying to go snapping myself back to reality is much easier. furthermore, if my brain keeps going back to "that one character that is in a situation" or "that curious and inconvenient scenario the protagonist is tuck into" or again a strange riddle that won't leave my thoughts, there's less space for intrusive thoughts of anxiety and paranoia to form and I have some control on where random thoughts are going to go.

no matter the workload, find a way to set aside some time every day or one day a week that is 100% obligations free. you need the time to unwind, rest and regenerate. choosing always the same time is best, because, you know, routine, but having that free time is just as important as getting stuff done. "there's a test the day after my day off? ok, I'll study, I'll rest the day after. but if anything tries to bother me then, heads will roll and I won't be held accountable for my actions.". this kind of thing.

this is all that comes to mind right now, so I'll end it here. this stuff is a mix of hard earned experience and advice I picked up here and there from adhd psychologists and neuropsychiatrists, hyperfixation fueled research and comparing notes with my sister (my main reference for "not me adhd"). and, by the way, talking to other people with adhd relieves stress like you wouldn't imagine, so, if you can, try to find someone else with adhd to just, talk. joy is having a conversation, interrupting it to look at a cool frog together and pick right back up like nothing happened. (I love my sis :)<3)

hope it was helpful and that you can take something useful for yourself from this!<3 rant

[not-poignant]

If you are not opposed, can you share a screenshot of your outlining/planning process (maybe for an old fale tales section or something)? You talk about it fairly often (reading through your writing tag is so helpful!) but as someone who is attempting to get into writing bigger stories with lots of moving parts (especially someone with ADHD!), being able to look at another writer's organization/how they make it happen really makes my brain go brrrrrrrr.

We'd be here for years if I shared screenshots because firstly a lot of planning happens haphazardly in a journal first, and not on the computer, and is often never finished and is only piecemeal.

But I also don't outline or plan most of my stories (I talk about this way more than I talk about planning or outlining stories, lmao. I haven't planned or outlined Underline the Black, or A Stain that Won't Dissolve, or The Nascent Diplomat, or Falling Falling Stars, or anything really except for /thinks/ the last thing I actually chapter planned was The Ice Plague, and that didn't go very well as a story overall and so I'm not sure if folks should be outlining like me anyway, lmao. So all the photos I have are also from like... 3-5 years ago.

As someone with ADHD, the way I deal with lots of moving parts in a planned story is to generally sit down with some paper, some different colours for each character, and then write down what I want each character to experience, and then slowly bring the colours together. And then ignore almost all of that when it comes to writing the story. e.e

I'm thinking I might be able to get some photos later, but honestly my process is just about incoherent to anyone but me, because I don't plan on anyone else seeing my process. So if I only write out the arcs of two characters, and then list out something for other characters, and then make up the others in my head, and then have the others in my phone notes, that works for me. But it also means you automatically have 4-5 photos of just one small part of the process.

Ultimately, though, if you have a large story with lots of moving parts it will help to know your A, B, and C storylines.

Your A storyline will be your main characters (or your main plot, but I'm a character writer, so I will be talking about characters). Ideally, every chapter will touch on your A storyline and characters, because that is the most foundational part of the story. Even stories with side stories, like Sandman, still touches on its A storyline character (Dream / Morpheus) in every chapter.

Your B storyline will be your secondary plot or characters. In The Ice Plague, the B storyline was Augus and Gwyn, and how their lives impacted the story and the A storyline (Mosk and Eran). The B storyline doesn't have to be present in every chapter, though doesn't hurt if it is. And finally you have your C storyline, of which you can have many! These are all the subplots and moving parts. As you can tell, they're actually the least relevant part of the story. This might be your villains, your side characters, your 'they're important for two chapters but not the rest of the time' characters.

C storylines should not take up the bulk of your chapters, because it means you've lost focus. Even if they're constantly active, they need to be in the background. A good example of this can be say, a government conspiracy arc happening in the background leading our main characters (A storyline) astray. You might only get 2 minutes of the C storyline per episode, but that's enough.

Sometimes C storylines take up more attention when their wrapping up, or especially if they're interacting with the A storyline in a juicy way (Davix and Olphix were a C storyline, but became extremely potent when they reacted to the A storyline characters - Mosk and Eran, especially at the end).

Even a story with 100 characters will generally still have an A storyline, a B storyline, and a C storyline. If it doesn't, and it's more Game of Thrones style, I can't help you, because I hate that kind of storytelling. It's messy, and then you're looking at the A plot, B plot, and C plot/s, and no one really cares about the characters or who dies all that much, and like...I can't...talk about that because it's not what I do. So if that's what you're doing, I'm 100% the wrong person to talk to.

With ADHD, it can help to go back to your 'ABCs' basically, because it will remind you where your focus should be.

But I have no coherent planning or outline process and avoid it wherever possible, to the point where I literally haven't done it since about 2020 I think. Lol. I don't even think any of my best stories were the ones I planned, they're all the ones I completely winged. I am a plantser and a pantser. I will certainly do worldbuilding, but that doesn't have to be a story outline! That's just details about the characters :D

[aymayzing]

ty for the questions in my inbox so here's one for you! --

what objects do your ryders carry around? what classes are they, and ofc, did their parents have any influence on them they consider important? :)

Thank you sm for the ask!!💕 Answer under cut as it got so long 🫣

Scott has ADHD and is very forgetful so at some point he realized he needs to carry around stuff he may forget and then need. So he has a small pack with some water, a protein bar, safety pins, some money, a bandage - just in case.

Sara always has on her finger the ring she got from her mom on her 18th birthday. It's a tradition in Ellen's family that on the 18th birthday a girl gets a diamond ring. Sara's is not super fancy or anything, it's a small, lab grown diamond on a simple band but since she got it from her mother, as a part of family tradition, she values it very much, even more so after Ellen's gone.

I headcanon, much like you it seems :), that both Scott and Sara are biotics. However, Sara's biotics are more powerful, she's able to control them better, she's generally much better at them than Scott. Scott has a rudimentary grasp on his biotics but the best he can do is throw a biotically charged punch. Therefore he, unlike his sister, cannot rely on them, so as Sara went on to become a vanguard, Scott ended up choosing to be an infiltrator. He loves precision, so a sniper rifle is his weapon of choice, followed by a pistol. He doesn't shoot and hopes he hits something, he only shoots when he knows he will hit the target. He's very good at it too, enough to even have impressed Alec, but their father is always looking for an edge for humanity and just shooting good will not cut it. In my mind Alec is very impressed with biotics, believes it to be the next big breakthrough in humanity's history, in how we wage war. So it always made him all the more appreciative of Ellen's research and later on of Sara's powers. Scott was always aware of his father's disappointment in the fact that his biotics don't stack up to his sister's, another thing that made their relationship all the more strained.

For the question about parental influence... Scott has ADHD and it was Ellen who figured out what works for him best, how he can focus best and she is the one who found precision and focusing on small details is a way for Scott to get done what needs to get done. Breaking up reality into small chunks and focusing on them instead of one big thing. That's what she taught him and that's his strategy in his daily life which really came in handy when he became a Pathfinder. It made the situation he was in a little less overwhelming. This is also why he fights the way he does. He wouldn't have been able to handle life as well as he does without it.

When it comes to Alec though, he and Scott were never close, they never really knew one another. Alec loved his son but was never able to show it nor connect with him and at some point Scott stopped looking for any sort of affection or pride from his father, so there wasn't really any area of Scott's life Alec could largely influence. If anything, a lot of Scott's insecurities stem from what Alec pointed out - his not being a great biotic, being too trusting, not taking things seriously. I guess you could say Alec's job as an attaché ended up influencing Scott's choice of career - not the one in the military but the one he envisioned and planned he could've had once he finished uni and served a bit. He wanted to be a diplomat - through Alec he already knew enough people and the realities of intergalactic politics to be good at it. Of course it never worked out but probably, in the end, it made Scott's time as the Pathfinder a bit easier, as navigating interspecies diplomacy was not completely new to him.

Biotics are still new among humans so Sara always felt the odd one out when in the company of more humans than just her family. She heard the whispers, saw the weird looks. Her mother was ofc always very encouraging and trying to get Sara to accept her powers but it was Alec who actually made her feel.good about them. It was not easy to impress Alec Ryder, yet every time she showed him a new trick with her biotics, he was so impressed and excited. That's his biggest influence on his daughter.

Ellen on the other hand had such influence on Sara, being her primary caregiver, that she cannot pinpoint one specific thing that had the biggest influence on her. Everything Ellen did for Sara helped shape her, her morals, view of the world, that it's impossible to pick which one was most important.

[jolliestlolli]

Jolly's Monday Blog Update - Dec 5th 2022

Welp, time to see how long this lasts

I guess I'll start this with just a brief explanation of how this works. Every Monday and Friday night I'm gonna post these blog updates where I talk about how I'm doing, what the week/weekend has been like for me, how much writing I've gotten done, and whatever other relevant thoughts are rattling around in my brain.

Part of the reason I'm doing this is I'm hoping that by making this a regular thing it helps me stay on top of things like my productivity and self-care, if at the beginning and end of every week I have to give a status report of how I'm doing in those areas. Since it's more than a little embarrassing to come out and say "Yeah I didn't do anything all week besides eat unhealthy amounts of already unhealthy food and play Rimworld for 6 hours instead of sleeping".

One thing I've realized and want to try to work around is that I do better work at night, around 6 or 7 o'clock. But I do my best work when it's really late, after everyone has already gone to bed. Problem is by that point I'm often tired myself unless I recently chugged an energy drink or took a nap in the middle of the day. So I'm at a slight loss as to what to do to get myself in an environment where I can focus on what I wanna focus on. It's not like I haven't tried but between my family being obnoxious and my own general ADHD it's extremely difficult, which is one reason it's taken me so long to finish the next chapter of The Monster of Hope's Peak. I've barely even gotten a quarter of the way through the chapter and now I'm just stuck. I know what I want to have happen but for some reason putting it into words just doesn't seem possible right now. I know I'll get out of this creative rut eventually, I just gotta keep trudging through the mud and eventually I'll reach grass.

I gave my room a very much needed clean today. Not my entire room, but most of it. If I had tried to clean any deeper I might have passed out and/or threw up from exhaustion. Now I am one tired fool and it's safe to say I probably won't get much more work done for the rest of the day, but at least I have a clean room. Maybe this time I can actually keep it clean.

Anyway that's all for now, my loves. Pretty short for my first one of these but who knows, if I can keep this up these will no doubt become longer and contain some deeper and more solid thoughts of mine. But for now, see ya on Friday. Peace.

[snowieluna]

So we finished Attorney Woo last night, and wow. It's got me reflecting back on when I worried I might be on the spectrum. Honestly, I don't know if I am neurodivergent in some way. I was thinking for a while it might be ADHD. There are a lot of things that click for both. I wonder if there's some other third option. There are a lot of little things that I've been used to for so long.

I've always been horrible with eye contact. Dad used to complain that it looked like I wasn't paying attention or didn't care.

My reaction time is terrible. There have been times something's spilled and I'm like stuck where I can't move until someone gets angry. Also why I hate team sports.

I feel like I'm always in the way.

I'm terrible with weird food textures. If it's too chewy, I feel like I'll choke and I get anxious. It's what made me not like steak in the past because Mom overcooks it. Mushrooms feel wrong and not like food.

I used to freak if my food was touching, but I've calmed down with that a lot. Same with making food a certain way. Like only circle pickle slices could go on burgers, and they preferably have to be in a flower shape so they take up the most surface area. Long pickles go on sandwiches. Any spread that goes on bread has to cover the whole piece, edge to edge. I can't do sesame seeds on bread. I rip off the crust or pick them off. Tea needs just enough milk so the colour lightens. Cereal needs to enough to be wet - a thin layer at the bottom of the bowl. I can't do pulpy drinks or strawberry ice cream. The frozen seedy chunks are gross. Same for chia or if a powdered drink hasn't completely dissolved.

I'm bad with processing my emotions or understanding what I'm feeling. When I was younger, it was easier to just say I was neutral because also! It's hard to know if I'm feeling the correct emotion. Like what do you want me to be feeling right now? Is it too much or too little? I get overly invested in fictional characters more than real people. I cry so easily.

If I'm feeling too much, it's like I go numb and shut down. I used to hurt myself more when I was overwhelmed. When I was younger, I'd hit my head against my wall because I was upset but felt unallowed or unable to express it. In arguments with JM over something I did wrong again, I'd start to feel like I was floating above my body and that'd worry me. So then I'd press my fingers hard into the edge of my keys, or my nails into my hand, or I'd pick at skin imperfections. Now I'm realizing I was trying to ground myself, but back then, he just thought I was hurting myself, and that made him more upset, which made me feel worse. I'd try to focus on what he was saying, but it would be on small details that I felt I could process, but I was still wrong because I wasn't seeing the whole picture to him. (I still do this when I'm super upset/overwhelmed/whatever.) I wouldn't remember after what either of us had said, only that we were both upset and that it was probably my fault.

I used to hold my breath unintentionally while crying. I think trying to hold back the sounds, but it'd feel like pressure was building.

I can't focus much on stuff I don't care about. I feel like I was only good at school when I was younger because I was a perfectionist and needed good grades. Parents didn't even put that much pressure on me, but once I was doing well, it feels like that's the norm, so I have to uphold that standard. I could memorize enough for tests, but unless it was about specific things I liked, poof it's gone. Do well on tests, be quiet but also social. But not too social! Follow the rules. Be well behaved. Try to be good to make up for the fact that I'm not charismatic or athletic.

I'm really bad at multitasking or doing things in a way that doesn't seem logical. At the lab, I'd get mad because I had a plan for that day. I was going to get x done, but now they want this from me instead. Or I'd have a bunch of samples ready to go with a certain mobile phase. Then a day later, get another that could've gone with the first batch. So I have to wait until I have enough to test together, or it feels wrong. If I'm cleaning at home and in the right mood, I need to get as much done as I can before the energy's gone.

Which leads to me not eating consistently. Because if I'm in the middle of something, I don't want to stop. I'll eat later. Yeah my stomach feels so empty, but I gotta finish. Yeah my meds alarm went off, but I'll just take them later. Gotta keep going before I get distracted and lazy.

I'm not great with time management. I don't know how long I'm going to take unless I break it down. And even then I sometimes underestimate because I feel like I'd be keeping people waiting too long, or just because I need more sleep. Then I space out or stuff comes up, and oh I'm late now. Or I get overly anxious about being late that I'm way too early, or can't focus on anything else but being on time.

Sleeping early has always been hard. I'm convinced part of why I was so depressed in middle school was from sleep deprivation. I couldn't sleep until midnight-ish, then be up by 5:45am/6am. At night, I wouldn't have enough time to decompress in between homework, eating, showering, and planning for the next day. When I got to college and could take afternoon classes, it was such a relief. But the change in environment was it's own form of stress.

I guess this whole rant started was because I saw a post on how Young-woo struggled with the revolving door potentially due to vestibular and propioception issues. It got me thinking of when I go down stairs and it feels like I'm going to miss one and fall. (Plus the anxiety of potentially being embarrassed or hurt if I fell. And the anxiety of I'm backing up traffic and look like an idiot who can't use stairs.) Or the dizzy feeling when I've tried VR or watched 3D movies. Like I need to hold onto something for dear life. How I hate the dropping feeling in my stomach on big bumps in the road or on roller-coasters. (I had an anxiety attack on the last big one I tried. I thought I was going to die.) Trying to visualize a car in the center of the lane has thrown me off so much, so I'm still scared of driving. (Even though I want to try again this year. I'm super scared of trying to park.) I can't ride a bike or rollerblade because I couldn't get the hang of balancing and moving at the same time. (And more of the embarrassment of falling and not getting it right away.)

I can't swim because the idea of water getting in my eyes, nose, ears, or mouth makes me panicky. But goggles, ear and nose plugs feel uncomfortable. The goggles get blurry and I can't see. The nose plug hurts my nose. Ear plugs I can deal with even though they make my breathing and heart beat sound super loud.

Senses are weird. I can't do super bright lights or loud sounds. The sounds if I'm not ready make me feel like I'm drowning. (But weirdly enough, if I'm particularly moved by music, I can feel like I'm drowning, but in a good way. I guess it's like a firm hug as opposed to a crushing squeeze?) Smells don't bother me too much unless it's fish. It can make me nauseous. If a room is too hot and the humidity is off, I feel like I can't breathe. It feels like my nose is stuffed with cotton or like I'm breathing through a straw, and it scares me. I love hugs because they feel safe. My hair being played with is so nice (or pulled if in a spicy setting. Same for spanks.) I like holding hands, but mine get so sweaty. I love dancing when I don't have to think. I love feeling textures on skin, except sometimes I pick without meaning to.

I've run out of steam and I wanna eat something.

[petrifact]

The Cult of the Shard: Summary So Far

So... all my previous posts here have been backdated to the dates in the Write Your First Adventure workshop when I was supposed to have that bit done. This is my first post here that's actually accurately dated to when I'm actually posting it. It's December 1, and I'm supposed to be done with my RuneQuest adventure by now.

I'm not.

My last post before this, at the time I'm writing this, is dated to November 12. Not because it was written on November 12—it was written and posted on November 22—but because well, that's the last day of the workshop I've actually finished the work for. (Well, that's not entirely true; I've done another day or two but haven't posted on Tumblr about them yet, but that's because I decided rather than prioritize posting on Tumblr I'd prioritize working on the adventure, which sounds like a good idea in principle except that I haven't been working on the adventure much either.)

Granted, I do technically have a little extra time; the deadline for inclusion in the workshop bundle is December 8... so I still have another week. Is it possible I'll get it done by then? Yes, if I really buckle down and work on it, it's possible. Is it likely? I'm honestly not sure.

I started off behind, sure, but I sure haven't done much catching up. I thought, hey, I'll have Thanksgiving off work, maybe the following weekend, too; I can get a lot done then. I did indeed have Thanksgiving off work, and the following weekend too, and got very little done. Sure, Thanksgiving itself I was with my family, and the next day too, so maybe I have an excuse for not getting much done those days, but I was home by myself on the weekend and didn't get much done then either, and sure, I could say well I needed some down time off work, I needed to take a break, but I could make up excuses all day and it's not going to help me get it done.

It's not that I'm stuck. It's not that I don't know what to do next. It's just that it's been really hard to make myself work on it. I said before that I had a lot of unfinished projects, and this is probably why. Maybe it's just something about how my brain works. I start on something, I make some progress, and then my brain just... decides it doesn't want to work on that anymore. Why? Search me. Maybe it's because I know once I finish the writing I'll have to do the layout and get it all PDF-ready, and that's something I haven't done before, so at some level I'm kind of apprehensive to get to it. Or maybe it's just the opposite; maybe it's because once I it all planned out, I've statted out the most important characters, and the hard part of the writing is over, the rest seems like just easy busy work and I lose interest. I don't know; I just know that... I really don't want to work on it. I want to have worked on it. I want to get it done. But it's been very hard to make myself sit down and do it.

(Although I've never been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I think it's... very possible that I may in fact have it, which if so may be a strong contributing factor.)

Anyway, though, another thing I know from experience about my brain is that once I do get started on something new and get in the groove, then my brain often decides it wants to focus on that for a while. It's been long enough since I was seriously working on this adventure that it's entirely possible if I do manage to make myself start on it this will kick in and I'll be able to power through and get it done. At least, that's the hope. I'm going to do my best to muster my willpower tonight to actually sit down and work on my adventure like I ought to be doing, and I think there's still a chance I'll be able to put in the time over the next week and get it done, and it won't become just another of my myriad projects I started and never got around to finishing. Here goes nothing...

[here2bbtstrash]

Hi, Em! I was feeling nosy today, so I read your about me, and now I have a random question that I hope you don't mind answering lmao

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, but I gradually stopped presenting symptoms as I grew up. Now it's coming back to bite my ass again cause I'm god's favorite child, I guess. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how annoying is having ADHD as an adult? Cause I've been stressing about not stressing enough about the things I need to get done and, as a result, I end up doing nothing, which stresses me out even more 😭

PHEWWWWW OH MAN do i know that feeling well lmao. so i have been medicated before but i'm not currently taking anything, and i would definitely say i go through phases where my adhd feels more and less under control. it can even change day to day. some days are a 1 and some are a 10 and most fall somewhere in between. i'd say today was like a 4? i focused really hard at work and got a lot done, but i felt absolutely WIPED afterwards bc i had to push so hard lol

idk if you want advice but i'll babble, some things i've found that help me generally are:

focus music (i like pulling up lofi bts on youtube bc lyrics in any language are too distracting, or i'll do ambient noise, or video game soundtracks)

lighting specific candles when i'm focusing so my brain associates that scent with 'ok time to not fuck around'

the pomodoro method (or if that feels like too much, "just 5 minutes" - set a 5 minute timer and tell yourself you only have to do the thing for 5 minutes, most of the time you'll finish it before the timer goes off OR you'll realize it's not that bad bc now you've gotten started and you're in the flow)

regular exercise (even just going for walks!)

having a consistent sleep schedule

not over-caffeinating (i am bad at this one)

asking for help!!!!! (also bad at this one 🥴)

trying to get outside and see the sun daily

making to-do lists even if i have to write them down in 5 places

following the dopamine (aka - DO WHAT SOUNDS FUN !!)

taking baby steps and actually celebrating them

productive procrastination (ie: put off the thing i REALLY don't wanna do by doing some other stuff that doesn't sound as impossible)

allowing my rest time to TRULY be rest (by giving myself permission to do nothing and not feel guilty)

embracing the good days and doing my best to ride out the bad ones

and above everything: BEING KIND TO MYSELF BECAUSE BEING NEURODIVERGENT IS REALLY FUCKING HARD AND THE WORLD WAS NOT BUILT FOR US AND WE'RE DOING OUR BEST

wow if you didn't know i had adhd before you could definitely tell just based on how chaotic that list is 💀 i hope some/any of that helps?? you are very much not alone my friend and i am always here to talk about the struggles of being an adult with adhd 💜 please be kind to yourself! you got this!!!

[amnotaqueen]

Not A True Disciplinarian

My JW narc husband is not a true disciplinarian. I would describe him as a punisher instead. We are taught from the Bible as Jehovah's Witnesses to discipline our children with love. My husband doesn't think he is disciplining unless he is spanking or punishing him in some way, and his absolute favorite method to punish is to spank. He loves to get switches to spank with. Slapping is a particularly demeaning way to discipline a child, especially one with developmental disabilities. What is he slapping him for? Because he is frustrated? Unacceptable. He is not very patient and usually he is very angry and screaming. Most times he seems to not take into account that our son has special needs; autism, intellectual disability, ADHD too, most likely. So, he is not going to have the same abilities and behaviors of a typically developing child his age. Why doesn't that register with him? It's like, someone with a broken leg is not going to walk a mile in the same amount of time as someone without any broken leg. To punish a person with a broken leg for not finishing a mile in the same amount of time as other able-bodied individuals is just plain unfair and cruel and makes no sense. You would give them extra time, yes leniency and congratulate them on their efforts for completing the mile.

And the things he chooses to get upset about are totally ridiculous to me. Its as if he expects our son to behave like a mature adult instead of a child. Today at our religious meetings at the Kingdom Hall, our son (7 yrs old) asked me a couple of times if he could have pizza for lunch. He seems to have a fast metabolism and is ready to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours. Now, when we get home he starts declaring that because our son asked for pizza for lunch while at the meeting, he could not have pizza. Because, he said, no one should be thinking about pizza at the meeting so he needed to be punished. Now, I know that just about everyone in that place has some fleeting thoughts from time to time that don't have anything to do with the Bible or anything spiritual. Some people might think briefly about what they themselves will eat later, about work they have to do, errands they have to run, something that happened before the meeting, the pain they feel, etc. And the children especially have not developed the ability to keep their minds strictly on the program at all times. They are naturally thinking about what they will do after the meeting, friends, etc at times. I think it's ludacris to even expect them not to do that. Punishment is not warranted. At this stage, kind suggestions with explanations are all that is necessary. Reminders for him to pay attention during the program. He is actually doing so much better and it is very difficult for him to focus and sit still even for short periods of time. He even participated at the meeting, by giving a simple comment. He needed to be commended and encouraged, not punished. And this idea of punishment for a young child mentioning food at the meeting instead of paying perfect attention throughout the entirety of the meeting is coming from a grown man who himself falls asleep at the meetings and assemblies and conventions. He asks our son, no- he demands that our son never sleep at any meeting or assembly. He actually expects our son to live up to his standard that even he himself does not live up to as an adult. Ridiculous. Hypocritical. Unrealistic. To me, he is really out of touch with reality.

I do think the real reason he was denying him pizza is because he doesn't like him to eat pizza period. He thinks our son and I should eat how he eats. Pizza is unhealthy as is most American food and he hates to see us eat any of it. He felt like our son had had enough junk and he wanted to use an excuse to deny him and he pizza without saying I just don't want you to eat anymore. He tried to make our son believe that he was just such a bad and awful child to have thoughts of food during the meeting and that he deserved to be punished. It's interesting that my husband minimizes his greater errors and maximizes tiny infractions of a child. His having a girlfriend outside of our marriage, just a minor thing to him. He still views himself as perfect.

Discipline is about correcting and guiding in love. Doesn't always need to be wrath, screaming, anger, and corporal punishment. That's what he is stuck on.

[uwultra-violence]

talking to myself in my head but externalizing it on tumblr which is safer than x (twitter)

Preferably don't use pronouns with me, please, I don't like it!!! unless you are speaking PT-BR, then you can use ela/elu >:3 strange to think that I only used he/him and now without pronouns (in English) and feminine/neutral pronouns in PT-BR… uhm what am I? I don't want gender or being an agender, I just don't have a gender!!! my gender is blank <- my gender.

I'm having strange thoughts again… especially when I realize that I really exist. Like, do I exist? I really exist! I am flesh and blood and not an avatar in a pixelated world. but how do I exist? or why do I exist? Why do I need to eat? should I eat? Should I know what to do? I really exist and I'm living!!! but do I need to do all the basic things that a human being needs? But how do I know I need these basic things? I can't sink into bed and disconnect from reality for an indefinite period of time?

I think I'm going to need to take medication for ADHD because I'm no longer able to have cohesive thoughts because of my focus, which doesn't seem to focus!!! But what if my head doesn't shut up and the scattered thoughts continue? Like, once, just to experiment, I tried a medicine and well, look, only my body was still, however my brain continued to be super active and with lots of random feelings and I was really irritated because my body couldn't keep up with my head/thoughts.

then I continue this monologue, I have to finish some things.