#i really need more ppl in my life yeesh

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

my dad is paying for my apt and college and some of my food and is usually so supportive but sometimes i hate him i hate him i hate him

im telling him that things are not good rn at my apartment and my landlord isnt doing his work to keep things running/we are likely paying too much. he gets angry and immediately shuts the topic down/raises his voice, IN DEFENSE OF THE LANDLORD. I hang up on him because i know from experience that I'll get angry if i keep trying to argue him on this. i text him to tell him that i cant communicate with him if certain subjects make him shut down and snap at me.

i decide to call him back to see if we can just talk about something else since the apartment thing is obviously a nonstarter.

he is no longer taking my texts or calls, which means he's blocked me, which he does if I'm "being abusive". this means im persona non grata for 24 hours or until he sees fit. also since I sent multiple texts (and texted him a lot today abt other/mostly apt issues stuff) he will be using that to show my "abuse".

like. what the fuck.

he blames me for being unhappy with my landlord, and when i hang up, which HE IS ALLOWED TO DO TO ME AT ANY TIME AND FRAME IT AS "SELF-PROTECTION", I am then put in the virtual doghouse.

this shit is the real reason im not going home for the holidays, even if i could afford it

the doghouse 100% exists in-person too. you just become invisible until he decides you're part of the family unit again, and it can be for ANYTHING.

always does super-wholesome activities right then too, just so you know you're outside of the family dynamic. woe be upon you if you try to make yourself visible before he chooses to

i dont talk about this aspect of my family life much and will probably delete it later, but rn im recovering from an all-nighter, and just too burnt out to hold the anger in.

like Dad is a constant source of support for me, closer than any of my friends (though the reasoning there is.... admittedly also complex) and seriously he's the only reason i can do any of what im doing. that doesnt make sense with anything ive said on this post, but both are true and it hurts my head and heart to think them both at once.

im going to go watch things, sew, and forget this.

[pekodayz]

u ever just want to vent but u dont wanna bc ppl might just find you a vibe killer so u just sit there with ur head throbbing repressing it. ok sorry i need to vent. I’m gonna look back on this in 5 mins and wince

I’ve just been thinking abt how throughout my life well maybe just growing up. I’d be sitting with my friends and someone comes up and compliments one of them, I never gotten that. Well besides my eyebrows. Never my hairstyle, there’s literally nothing wrong with it..I never understood that. Like outside of high school ppl say things now but back then I never was complimented like that. I know this sounds selfish and stupid but I kinda wish someone flirted with me im not ugly right. I know I’m not ugly. all my friends got and still get flirted with, i never gotten that im not ugly right im. I’m pretty ?? Yeah. I’m a pretty gal I wish someone had a crush on me growing up. I will never know, if someone had feelings for me that wasn’t online. Like a real person, who saw my face. I sound so stupid why am I upset about such trivial things. I have a job, friends, ppl that care about me but this is something that has been fucking with me for years. I don’t wear makeup like them. Unless im doing some gyaru shtick. But even then, they still get flirted with. What do I know. I shouldn’t be complaining about this this is shallow. Maybe that’s why over the years I just stopped caring for love and affection and I’m on the ace spectrum now. I lost my ability to even have a crush bc im petrified of what could come of that. I had a crush once in 9th grade and hell, even I knew then I wasn’t worthy of this. I’m never probably gonna have someone be with me and that’s okay. I don’t wanna deal with the heartache. My heart hurts I wish someone would hug me and tell me somethin. Idk what tbh but something would be nice. I’m not lonely but I suppose the feeling of “haha yeah I remember when [name] had a crush on me lol” is kinda endearing. even if it probably was stupid. That’s probably the only things I’m jealous about towards my friends, pretty fucking dumb tho. I’m slowly getting over it, but oughh it’s wrong im gross for thinking that. I’m not mean to ppl irl idk what’s wrong but I don’t really care..that much anymore ig. I’ve come to terms with it, sorry if I sound selfish. More money for me i guess. I wish platonic cuddling was real at least. I’m not touch starved I think I just wanna have somthint in my life. just a little bit :3 ! But it’s okay………I can just be pathetic behind my normal irl persona and talk to a fucking bot to satisfy this pain. I’m glad I have gyaru tho, at least I feel cute..I don’t need to be wanted I think. It’s fun having a mask on. Ughhh. Ok well um sorry if you read through this hellish and disgusting vent . Yeesh! Im pretty, I’ll keep that in my thoughts so I won’t start crying again. EW OKAY UHHHHH emotional amirite! 😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯

[realcube]

their team reacts to seeing them with hickeys/back scratches 💫

characters: kageyama, akaashi & kita

tw// fem! reader, sexual references, swearing, blood 

kita tw// mentions of daddy kink, punishment, overstimulation - MINORS DNI 

KITA’S IS AGED UP!!

thank you anon for the request 💗

Tobio Kageyama

he was on tanaka’s team for game amongst karasuno and he watched his senpai take off his shirt and wave it around after they scored another point

but instead of putting the shirt back on, he kept it off bc he was too lazy to go get it since he threw it to the other side of the gym

then noya took his shirt off too bc he was sweating buckets 

but kageyama wasn’t really sure why they had their shirts off so he felt the need to ask

‘why aren’t you putting your shirt back on?’

noya was just kinda like ‘who are you, my mom?’ but tanaka gave him a straight answer which was ‘it helps with ✨ aerodynamics✨’

kageyama isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed so he doesn’t even know what aerodynamics are

but then he watched tanaka make a killer spike and he was sold 

shirt = off

aerodynamics = thriving (?)

sets = awesome

back scratches = exposed 😳

hotel = trivago 

tsukishima was the first one to notice ofc as he was positioned right behind kageyama 

he didn’t say anything tho bc yamaguchi was on the opposite team so he just had to snicker to himself

hinata was like ‘what’s so funny, stinkyshima?!’ bc he automatically assumed that tsukishima was laughing at him lol

but then he followed tsukki’s gaze and leaned back to look at kageyama’s back too

‘yeesh, man. you should probably put some aloe vera on that or something, it could get infected.’

AIUWRAFHBE ok ok hinata isn’t completely oblivious to the connotations of back scratches but he’d never think in a million years that kageyama would get laid so he kinda subconsciously ruled that possibilty out-

kageyama quirked a brow, ‘what?’

‘your back! it’s all mangled.’ 

then noya and tanaka ran over and fkn BURST OUT LAUGHING 

at this point, all of kageyama’s team was surrounding him while the other team waited patiently for them to serve

but after a while, it was clear that they weren’t gonna do that so suga - who was on the opposing team - strolled over to see what they were all laughing about

and when he saw it- bitch- he went red 

a cool mom so he probably made a suggestive remark as he walks away

it eventually got to the point where everyone in the gym was crowded around kageyama and for ease, i’ll categorize their reactions:

laughing their ass off  ➵ tsukishima, tanaka, nishinoya, coach ukai & yamaguchi

concerned and confused  ➵ yachi, takeda, hinata & narita 

a blushing mess  ➵ asahi, kinoshita & sugawara

unfazed 😐  ➵ kiyoko & daichi 

LIVID  ➵ kageyama

‘WHY DO YOU ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY BACK?!’

kageyama could literally break his neck and walk into practise with a neck brace and no one would bat an eye but now that he has scratches on his back, suddenly everyone is so concerned about his wellbeing? where with this energy that time he said that hinata gave him a concussion?

to be fair, he didn’t have a concussion- also, he forgot the word so he told suga that hinata gave him a ‘conclusion’

daichi agreed, trying to usher everyone back to their spot on the court, ‘yeah, it’s no big deal, guys. let’s get back to practise.’

everyone slowly made their way back to where they were previously but since tanaka and noya were still on kageyama’s team, they continued to pry 

tanaka flung his arm around kageyama’s shoulders, ‘so how’d you get those scratches, big boy?’ 

an ungodly laugh left noya’s mouth

kageyama shrugged, ‘(y/n), i think.’

the whole gym room went silent before erupting in choruses of laughter once again

‘WELL YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND NEED TO CALM DOWN THEN!’ tanaka wheezed

kageyama was truly the idiot that didn’t understand the implications of the back scratches - so you can imagine that he was frustrated when everyone started laughing again

‘what’s so funny?’ but then, he recalled the events which he was pretty certain were the reason for the marks on his back......it was pretty funny

you insisted on giving kageyama a back massage after a long day of practise so he took his shirt off and let you go for it 

for the record, he really loved it :)) he was just so happy sitting there between your thighs as you sat on the couch and rubbed his back, loosening all the knots he didn’t even know he had

but then he got a lil’ inch on his back and was like ‘can you get that for me?’ since your hands were already on his shoulders/back

ofc you said yes and started lightly scratching the spot he desired, but being extra careful bc you just got you nails done in the stiletto shape and the last thing you wanted to do was puncture his back lol

‘harder..’ kageyama muttered so low that you almost didn’t hear him

you obliged, pressing a bit harder 

‘harder.’ he insisted once more

again, you served by digging your nails in a bit deeper

‘harder.’

‘no, kags. i’ll literally pierce your skin if i press any harde--’ 

‘harder!’ he barked (for a joke) and you jumped from fright, instinctively pushing in more and increasing the pace of your hand

at this point, you were rigorously clawing at his back, on the verge of drawing blood which you could tell by his skin’s newfound crimson pigment 

kageyama took it upon himself to lean backwards onto your nails to force you to go rougher as you had yet to ease his itch 

then you let out a high-pitched scream so naturally, kageyama jerked away then peered over his shoulder to make sure you hadn’t like..died

‘what?!’ he asked, eyes filled with worry

‘blood!’ you yelled, pointing at his back before sprinting to the kitchen to get a tissue 

kageyama’s gaze followed you until you were out of sight, then he lightly touched his back around the parts you were scratching and once he pulled his hand away, he noticed the blood which was now on his fingers

‘oh.’

the concerning part was that he didn’t even feel it tbh 🤔

anyway tanaka and noya probably coo ‘oooh~ lovebirds~’ when you come pick him up from practise

Keiji Akaashi

bokuto heard some ppl whispering about akaashi & (y/n) in the changing room so he turned around to take a look at his friend then he noticed the scratch marks on his poor friends’ back

‘AKAASHI!! DID YOU GET MAULED BY A BEAR?!?!’ he screamed, grabbing the attention of everyone in the changing room and those who weren’t whispering about akaashi before, were definitely doing so now

akaashi smiled softly and shook his head, hastily throwing on his shirt and buttoning it up as he spoke, ‘no, bokuto-san.’

bokuto quirked a brow, wondering what could’ve possibly happened before his jaw dropped to the ground

‘is it ‘cause i patted your back a bit hard earlier?!?!?’

akaashi didn’t even bother to question how bokuto could think that a slap on the spine could lead to scratch marks and instead just replied normally, ‘no.’

bokuto was stumped once again- why else would his buddy have marks on his back? and why was (y/n) such a prominent name floating around in this changing room? doesn’t everyone know that she is taken by bokuto’s best-bro akaashi?

....

WAIT

bokuto’s jaw hung open once again as his soul left his body through an overdramatic gasp, before leaning in and whispering in akaashi’s ear, ‘wait- don’t tell me- you and (y/n)-’

akaashi’s cheeks tinted red slightly so he turned his head away while he pulled on his blazer, ‘no.’

bokuto let out a light sigh of relief, gently patting his pal’s back, ‘ah, good. but then, where did those marks come from?’

before akaashi even got the opportunity to open his mouth to respond, komi and konoha passed the pair, konoha patting akaashi’s shoulder and komi shot him a toothy grin accompanied by a thumbs-up, ‘get some, akaashi.’

then they walked off, konoha mubbling something about his chances with (y/n) being ruined 

this left both bokuto and akaashi extremely confused

once all traces of komi and konoha were gone, akaashi proceeded to explain himself

‘backne is a horrible thing.’ he murmured, grabbing his satchel, slinging it over his shoulder before strolling out the changing room. ‘i’ll wait for you outside.’

and bokuto just stood there like (。_。) ‘what’s backne?’

Shinsuke Kita

atsumu had invited the whole squad back to inarizaki for one last game before coach kurosu’s retirement 

after ages of arrangement, the whole team were able to make an appearance at the game - whether that be for 10 minutes or the whole thing

kita was able to stay for the whole thing

he was currently warming-up while chatting with aran before he was approached by atsumu, who was as lively as ever

‘mister rice farmer! it’s good to see you again!’ he sung, tossing his arm around kita’s shoulder and patting it in a friendly manner, ‘how’s life been treating ya?’

kita and atsumu somehow managed to make small-talk as if they hadn’t been apart for the last 6 years

‘me and my girlfriend have only been together for 6 months but i think i’m ready to settle down.’ atsumu mused, tapping his elbow before realising that he had been talking about himself for a while, ‘but anyway, i see that you and (y/n) are still going strong. haven’t y’all been together since the first year of highschool? that’s impressive! when are you gonna wife her up?’ 

kita perked up upon hearing that, ‘uh, yes. but how do you know that?’

atsumu couldn’t help but smirk, casually running a hand through his hair before motioning to the hickey on kita’s neck which was on semi-display, ‘right there, bud.’

kita looked down but unfortunately, his neck didn’t bend enough to see what atsumu was referring to 

‘also,’ atsumu chuckled, slightly embarrassed about what he was going to admit ‘i saw the pic of her you put on your facebook.’

‘ah, okay.’ that one kita could understand

atsumu was about to open this mouth to say something but then the shrieking noise of the coach kurosu’s whistle rang through the gym room, indicating the start of the match

the game went surprisingly smooth tbh 

minimal fights :o

but kita did get teased quite a lot smh 

anyway, after everything was all said and done and everyone started to filter out the gym, kita rushed to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror and see what atsumu was referring to on his neck

once he took a look at himself, he frowned

just as he thought, a hickey - that’s embarrassing

it was clear you made an effort to place hickeys in areas that would be hidden though as the bruise was barely peeking out from under the collar of his jersey, atsumu just has a rather keen eye 

however, that wasn’t going to stop kita from pounding you dry when he gets home - as a punishment ofc 

kita was about to leave but he couldn’t help but stay and stare at himself in the mirror for a bit longer, recalling last night as he wondered at what point you bit those onto his neck

was it during the 2nd round? or the foreplay? or perhaps the 4th round? wait- no- definitely during aftercare cuddles!..or actually, maybe the 1st round?

in all honesty, he couldn’t remember 

to him the whole night was a blur of pounding into you relentlessly, overstimulation, pleads for mercy, tears, passionate kisses and praise

with a sprinkle of daddy kink but let’s not talk about that

oh, and not to forget the way you’d call out his name just as you were about to reach your orgasm 

or your sweet, lewd whines that echoed through the room when he thrashes against your sensitive spot 

and don’t get him started on the cute little nicknames you have for him that squeal out through moans, like ‘daddy’, ‘master’, ‘sir’ etc 

kita snapped out of his fantasies, letting out a sigh and about to exit the bathroom- until he noticed himself in the mirror out of the corner of his eye

he was hard

smh smh smh 

now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place

(literally 🤠)

he could either potentially embarrass himself or cause an accident by walking to his car and driving home with a throbbing boner

or he could call you to help him jerk off in a bathroom stall

so he took a seat in one of the stalls - for the sake of the ppl he might run over if he did otherwise  

he rung you up and thankfully, you picked up and you weren’t feeling bratty enough to deny him the help he needed so badly

although it wasn’t a very pleasurable experience since he was constantly on hyper-alert just in case the janitor walked in, at least he got a lot of nostalgia from it :))

[fruitsilly]

10 people you want to know better (tagged ppl are under no obligation to do this <3!!)

thank you jude @pansyfem for tagging me! this looks like fun :3

relationship status: single, but heavily lushing/meshing (the sensual/alterous equivalents of crushing respectively) on this guy in my class at uni rn. and i really. Really want him to be my boyfriend holy fucking shit he's so cute. anyways. i also have a milder squish on a girl who's also in my class. i have two exes but i am aromantic and since they were romantic relationships which needed reciprocation they didn't work out. i am still friends with one of my exes (who's also arospec) tho so it's all good!! :•D

favourite colours: my top 5 fave colours are

green

purple

pink

yellow

blue

in that order :)

favourite foods: ough pasta. any kind of pasta really but i am especially partial to lasagne. i also love cheese and pizza. oh and how could i forget!!! millionaire's shortbread!!

song stuck in my head: TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!! although before this it was the borgia family horrible histories song :)

last thing you googled: i use firefox bc im swag so technically i duckduckgo'ed this Anyways. i searched for the tv show "you" bc i saw a gifset from that show featuring a lady i am incredibly bi for and i was like 👀 will i have to watch this now

time: 9.32PM (im gonna write the time of posting this bc i wrote this in my notes app)

dream trip: spain or scotland!! spain bc im learning spanish and scotland bc it's just such a lovely country <3

last thing you read: "the children" by lucy kirkwood! it's a play im reading for my course :)

last book you enjoyed reading: ugh i haven't had the capacity to actually sit down and read a physical book for... too long it's been ages. it's mostly to do with my disabilities and time :( i started reading good omens on my phone but i didn't finish it (i like it so much better than the show lmao). but the actual physical book i read last was "death sets sail" by robin stevens, the final book in her "murder most unladylike" series. ough. ive been with that book series from literally the very beginning. id highly recommend 👍

favourite thing to cook/bake: sadly i don't do enough cooking or baking to know but what i have made is fudge which was quite fun! ive also made a delicious cheesy pasta bake hehe

favourite craft to do in your free time: again. i haven't had the capacity or time to actually make any art since like... march, so, 7 months. yeesh. i miss making digital art. id like to pick it up again but idk when that'll be. id also like to try and get a badge maker bc i have loads of ideas but ugh time is a problem. im just so busy at uni.

most niche dislike: im sure there's Something since im autistic and autism is the Strong Opinions Disorder but nothing's coming to me atm [shrugs]

opinion on circuses: ive only been to one in my life and i really enjoyed it apart from the clowns who i found scary but i was like 8 i think. im less scared of clowns now. also the general aesthetics of them fuck severely

do you have any sense of direction: hardly lol! i have a great photographic memory so even going a certain route once with someone who knows the way i can remember it HOWEVER i am utter shit at finding my way with a map on my own. google maps is always open when im trying to find a place and even then i frequently go in the wrong direction or miss a turning. i just cannot translate distance on a digital map to irl distance. don't even get me started on using a traditional map bc g-d above. id end up more lost than i was before. im excellent at just confusing the hell out of myself <3

tagging: @sillyspooky @skylightz @bromantically @transgenderpolyhedrals @folderone @gir-posting @nvr-pass-spookier-version @heartslobbf @taikacohen @laymedowninsheetsoflinen (plus anyone who sees this and wants to do it just say i tagged you ^_^). again no obligation to do this !! :)

[trensu]

Episode 23: the One where JYL Captains the Ship

Alrighty, so battle stuff is happening

Nothing major going on 

EXCEPT wen ruohan leaves his evil lair to confront wwx about how he took control of his puppets!

Wrh: where did you get the Plot Device?? Did xy give it to you?? HOW ARE YOU MAKING IT WORK??

Basically just Angry Ranting that Bad Guys do

Wwx mouths off, as usual

Lwj’s eyes are glued on him this entire time bc when isn’t staring at wwx?

(I understand lwj, I too cannot tear my eyes away from wwx when he's onscreen, that beauty mark just under his lower lip is so goddamn distracting...)

Wwx: hey, wrh, i just finished making his nifty thing and haven’t shown anyone yet, wanna see it?

And tah dah! We now have Plot Device 2 (aka stygian tiger seal/amulet whatever)

Pay attention to Plot Device 2, guys, it’s gonna cause us some angsty wangxiantics in the future (BRACE YOURSELVES)

Pausing here to point out how freaking cool wwx looks, levitating the pieces of Plot Device 2

OH NO, WEN RUOHAN IS NOW CHOKING WWX

THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!

STOP HURTING MY SUNSHINE BOY

And wwx is smirking in victory?? What the heck wwx

Oh, it’s bc since wrh and wwx are wrapped up in their confrontation, there’s no one controlling the puppets so the puppets all collapse. That was part of his plan, maybe?? Idk, doesn’t matter

What matters is that this frees up LWJ to fly to wwx’s side

WHICH MEANS THAT LWJ IS THERE TO CATCH WWX ONCE WRH DROPS HIM!!

Lwj: Wei Ying! *catches his soulmate*

Wwx: *passes out in the arms of his very dashing soulmate*

Lwj barely even acknowledges that Meng Yao kills Wen Ruohan bc who cares about the big bad villain getting killed whEN YOUR SOULMATE IS PASSED OUT IN YOUR ARMS??

Lwj: Wei Ying

He says again! As his eyes stay glued onto wwx’s beautiful unconscious face. HE HOLDS HIM SO CLOSE

I mean, he could totally hold him CLOSER but that would be too much for the censors maybe??

Ppl are cheering. I was cheering. I don’t think we were cheering for the same reasons.

I was cheering bc lwj was ~tenderly cradling~ our beautiful sunshine boy

I think the other ppl were cheering bc the bad guy died? Weird.

LOL, DEJA VU MOMENT HERE

Lxc is cradling an unconscious Nmj

I guess the lan bros ARE pretty similar lolol

Boring stuff. Plot stuff. OMG I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY MENG YAO, SHUT UP.

Ahhhh, this next scene!

WWX is waking up in a bed and jyl is at the bedside.

Jyl starts bringing out the wangxian pie~! Maybe i should start using soup metaphors since Soup is her Thing…

Jyl is so happy that wwx is awake now!!

Jyl: you’ve been asleep for three (3) days!

Wwx: THREE DAYS??? What about jc and lwj??

HE IMMEDIATELY ASKS ABOUT THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT GUYS IN HIS LIFE, I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY.

Jyl: both jc and lwj have been very worried about you! 

We find out that even sect leader jin has been visiting which is disgusting, so we’re ignoring it

Oh, jyl is trying to get wwx to stop moving around so much

Jyl: LWJ says you need to rest more. He says you used too much spiritual energy

LWJ HAS BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF HIM THIS WHOLE TIME

JYL TRUSTS HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HER LITTLE BROTHER!!!

Jyl: also don’t use Plot Device 2 all willy-nilly. LWJ says it’ll hurt you!!

Wwx: LWJ, LWJ, why do you keep talking about him? He’s so boring and he doesn’t talk enough!

BUT HE SAYS THIS WITH A CUTE LITTLE FOND SMILE

BC THINKING ABOUT LWJ MAKES HIM HAPPY

BOYYYYY

YOUR CRUSH CAN BE SEEN FROM PRESENT-DAY NON-FANTASY CHINA (but, uh, discreetly, bc of censorship)

Jyl: while you were comatose, lwj came by every morning and evening to play his guqin for you. To relax your mind and spirit

Jyl: you probably wouldn’t have woken up so soon if he hadn’t done that

AHHHHHHH THIS NEXT SCENE!!!!!

JYL IS JUST SPOONFEEDING US WANGXIAN PIE NOW

SHE’S GIVING US A BIG OL’ HELPING OF WANGXIAN PIE HERE!! WHICH IS GREAT BC I AM STARVING

Here comes lwj, with his guqin strapped to his back!

Lwj actually brings himself to knock on the door this time

SEE, THAT WASN’T SO HARD, WAS IT LWJ?? WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE??

Jyl: oh, that must be lwj~!

ohhh, wwx's face when she says this! He looks all nervous and flustered

bc he has a ~gentleman caller~ and he’s not decent!!! 

HE’S ONLY IN HIS ENTICING RED UNDER-ROBES!! IN BED!! AND LWJ IS VISITING!!

Okay, that’s probably not why BUT IN MY HEART THAT’S TOTALLY WHY

So jyl goes and answers the door

Lwj bows so respectfully to her (he knows she’s wwx’s precious person!!)

LOL, I LOVE HOW JYL DOESN’T MENTION THAT WWX IS AWAKE HERE

THAT’S MY CAPTAIN!! Lxc wishes he could captain as good

she just greets him like usual and lets him in

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S WAITING FOR HIM INSIDE

IT’S AMAZING, JYL IS THE BEST

She leads him to the bedroom aND OH GOD, THE MINUTE LWJ’S EYES LAND ON WWX

HIS LIPS PART AS IF HIS BREATHING HITCHED IN HIS THROAT

HIS EYES NOTICEABLY WIDEN IN SURPRISE 

THERE’S A SLIGHT PAUSE IN HIS STEPS!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE’S SUPER EXPRESSIVE HERE GUYS 

(...well, by lwj standards anyway)

And ooooh, wwx’s reaction is adorable!!

His eyes catch lwj’s gaze for half a second before they skitter down to the side as if seeing lwj in person (in his bedroom!!) is too much to take in all at once!

HE’S SO FLUSTERED?? HIS EYES ARE FLICKERING TO AND FRO TRYING TO LOOK AT ANYTHING BUT LWJ. 

HE’S SO NERVOUS IT’S ADORABLE I CAN’T HANDLE IT

(i may have rewound to watch this scene 3x, DON’T JUDGE ME)

(there was so much happening! Lwj’s beautiful plush lips parted, wwx was acting cutely bashful)

(WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT, HUH? JUST WATCH IT ONCE AND MOVE ON?? I DON’T THINK SO)

And you know, jyl leads lwj like, right to wwx’s bedside and WATCHES ALL THIS GO DOWN

YOU KNOW SHE NOTICED ALL THESE THINGS TOO

I’M NOT A CRAZY PERSON HERE

Jyl: thank you, lwj! Without you, wwx would not have woken up so soon!

Jyl: you two go ahead and talk now

Jyl: i’ll just go tend to the other wounded

Jyl: and leave you both here ~all alone~

Jyl: in this bedroom

Jyl: with wwx just in his under-things

Jyl: still on his rumpled bed

Jyl: okay, byyyyeee~!

(LXC AND JYL NEED TO HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT THEIR LITTLE BROTHERS AND HOW HOPELESS THEY ARE AROUND EACH OTHER)

(THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN)

Okay, and now not only do we get MORE wangxian time, we also just get the most beautiful scene ever?? Like, aesthetically? THIS SHOW IS A BLESSING

Lwj is playing his guqin in the communal area next to wwx

The music is gorgeous (it's the same Magic Music from before! it sounds like warm morning sunlight on a calm spring day)

And the set is beautiful, all reds and whites to match our boys’ colors, and it’s all emphasized with equally beautiful lighting

Wwx: lan zhan, actually, i--

Lwj: quiet. Concentrate.

Wwx POUTS and taps his nose and then SULKILY crosses his legs

HE’S THE MOST ADORABLE BOY IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE HIM

IF LWJ WOULDN’T MURDER ME IMMEDIATELY, I’D GO AND PROPOSE TO WWX RIGHT NOW

ACTUALLY I’D PROBABLY DO IT ANYWAY

I’VE LIVED A GOOD LIFE, I PROBABLY WON’T ACCOMPLISH MUCH ELSE WITH IT. IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Ahem

Back to the utterly breathtaking wangxian scene

No seriously, EVERYTHING IS SO GORGEOUS?

ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL SHOTS

THE CLOSE UP ON THE FLOWERS

THE UNFOCUSED SHOTS THROUGH THE HANGING SCREENS

THE LIGHTING THE COLORS THE MUSIC

LWJ IN HIS PHENOMENAL WHITE OUTFIT AND WWX IN HIS INDECENT RED ROBES

IT ALL ADDS UP TO THIS SYRUPY DREAMY SCENE THAT’S JUST, UGH, DRIPPING WITH TENDERNESS AND ROMANCE

IT’S TOO MUCH IT’S TOO MUCH

Okay, i’m done geeking out over the aesthetics

Oh, wwx is breaking his meditation pose and flexing his wrists excitedly!

Wwx: lan zhan, i’m all better now!

Lwj stops playing and calmly makes his way to the bed where wei ying is and checks him

Lwj: three more days are needed

Wwx does not like this answer lol. He leaps up from the bed all affronted

Wwx: but i’m totally fine now, look! *starts flexing his arms around*

Lwj is not budging on this tho

Lwj: exorcise evil, ease the mind. Do not be neglectful

Wwx: exorcise evil? I don’t need an exorcism!! I just used too much energy

Cue awkward silence (lwj’s eyes never waver from wwx tho)

Lwj: wei ying (you know, i think he just likes saying his name...)

Wwx: lan zhan, do you really think that Plot Device 2 is evil? Do you really believe there’s an undetectable something that can change someone from good to evil?

Ooooh, wwx is getting all philosophical on us!!

His brow is all furrowed here; he’s hurt that lwj doesn’t trust him with Plot Device 2!

And that’s the end of that MOST DELICIOUS SLICE WANGXIAN PIE

Other stuff happens

Screaming, the murder of innocent people, sect leaders debating on said murder of innocent people

You know, boring stuff.

There was a fun bit here tho

Nmj: maybe it’s okay to kill innocent civilians…

Lxc: *sad face*

Nmj: uh, maybe we can NOT kill defenseless people this time?

Ahhh, if only lan zhan’s sad face was effective on wei ying as lxc’s is to nmj…

Plot plot plot Jgs being an asshole Plot plot plot

MORE plot plotty plot plot

OH NO

WE’RE ON A CLIFF IN NIGHTLESS CITY

THAT CLIFF WE DON’T LIKE

THAT REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD CLIFF

AND WWX IS STANDING CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF IT GET AWAY FROM THERE WWX, GET AWAY RIGHT NOW

And now lwj joins him

Wwx: lan zhan, what do you think of the people here? Who is good, who is evil?

Yeesh, getting right into the heavy stuff aren’t we

Like, nbd, i’m just gonna compLETELY CHANGE YOUR WORLDVIEW AND TEACH YOU SHADES OF GRAY (AGAIN)

Oooh, but as he says that, he starts clutching at his chest and swaying on his feet! Bc the resentful energy is hurting him!!!

Lwj grabs his arm to steady him

Lwj: wei ying, concentrate

Great, it’s about to get real hurt-y now

Lwj: wei ying, do you want to learn how to play Magic Music?

Wwx: lan zhan, you want me to learn that? Do you doubt me, too?

And the way he says it!! It’s a tone that says “please don’t let this be true”

BUT LWJ LOOKS AWAY AND FLASHBACKS TO WHAT WRH WAS RANTING ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EP

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT LWJ. WHY.

So instead of answering wwx, he just questions him on why he made Plot Device 2???

THAT IS THE WRONG APPROACH LWJ

THAT WILL NOT GET YOU WHAT YOU REALLY WANT 

Wwx: lan zhan, if i told you i got a Screaming Sword of Resentment from the Murder Turtle would you believe me?

Lwj keeps answering questions with questions and the whole convo is devolving horribly

Lwj: if you already knew the sword had Plot Device stuff in it, why did you refine it?

Wwx: LAN ZHAN, ENOUGH

he snaps at lwj

he raised his voice at lwj

Lwj: you promised you’d let me help you (he says calmly)

Wwx: if you don’t believe in me, how can you help me?

OUCH

Lwj: Plot device 2 isn’t safe, you might lose control!

Wwx: you’re scared i’ll be like wen ruohan, but i’m not him! And Plot Device 2 is not the same as Plot Device!

And then before we can get too emotional about our soulmate boys being at odds (AGAIN), we get to witness the murder of innocent people

How fun

Jin Zixun shows us he’s scum of the earth by trying to shoot down a Wen mother carrying her child as she flees

Thank goodness lwj guqin’s the arrow away

There’s a confrontation but lwj doesn’t let wwx tear into jin zixun even tHO HE CLEARLY DESERVES IT

And everyone leaves but not before wwx comments that there’s gonna be a lot of resentment here where the innocents were killed and that the place needed Magic Music 

Oh, turns out lwj didn’t leave

Lwj stays at the scene of the crime and plays Magic Music on his guqin.

As soon as wwx hears it, he starts playing counterpoint on his flute!

I love it when they play music together, Magic or not!!

We cut away here to watch lxc, nmj, and jgy become Official Bros™

BORING

Now Jgs and jgy are hosting a banquet

STILL BORING

Political posturing happens

SO BORING

Wait, something interesting just happened!

We see lwj just up and leave the banquet the moment he realizes wwx isn’t there

Bc wwx is out on the steps getting drunk

(wwx, we’ve talked about this. Drinking is not a Solution)

Wwx: lan zhan, it’s you! How about playing some Magic Music? (I'm detecting some sarcasm…)

Lwj: i’m learning a new score

Wwx: *scoffs* you haven’t given up yet? You’re really stubborn *mocking snort*

STOP BEING MEAN, WWX

That’s the last bit of wangxiantics we have for this episode

JYL GAVE US SUCH A GREAT MOMENT AND WE ENDED UP AT ODDS AGAIN

IT’S A WHOLE "ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK" SITUATION

I DON’T LIKE IT

Return to Masterpost

[mittensmorgul]

I totally share your feelings on Adam. Like, I don't think he deserved hell. But every time I heard someone from the fandom say 'BuT wHaT aBoUt AdAm?!?" I always just rolled my eyes. Like who tf cares? He was never family, why do ppl care about his fate so much.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If he hadn’t spent his entire first episode being the actual MotW pretending to be their brother (and that’s super meta right there, you know? Chuck messing with the Winchesters on a really sick level), and then spent his first ~actual~ episode as Real Adam rejecting the Winchesters entirely despite them doing everything in their power to save him and stop the apocalypse... he still said yes to Michael. After all that.

So... Cas had potentially died for this (and was seriously hurt by it regardless), Dean and Sam had both risked their lives and suffered torture for this, and he still said yes.

(probably under pain of horrific suffering if he said no, but Dean... had also said no...)

Do I feel bad for this kid who was just living his normal life and got dragged into this after being murdered by ghouls? Yeah. Do I actually care about him and what happens to him? No.

I mean, he was betrayed by all the angels who’d lured him into saying yes with the promise of Heaven with his Mom (we have to assume his mom wasn’t originally part of his personal heaven, but yeesh... it’s still an empty sort of promise to buy into... he could’ve just ~imagined~ his mom, because that’s how heaven memories work, you know? Makes me think they specifically manipulated what his Heaven would show... which makes everything we’ve seen about heaven doubly suspect now, right? yikes, that would be a tangent I’m not even remotely ready to address yet... let’s wait and see what happens to heaven by the end before speculating on that...)

So in the present time, where we learned that Chuck gets some sort of thrill over locking up innocent people in Hell-- people he directly says he’s sending to Heaven, even, like Kevin-- the fact Heaven’s promises to Adam were ignored feels right in line with that, you know? But they were trapped in the cage together for a really, really long time. At first it was probably a horribly antagonistic relationship, but heck... can you even imagine being trapped that close together... (and heck, I’m also still holding out a shred of hope that Michael did actually send Adam’s soul to Heaven and just... created an imaginary friend from Adam’s memories, you know? Like... Michael had literally nothing else to do in the cage, his One Destined Purpose had come to naught, and now he knows how it was all a setup and a lie from God himself for entertainment. 

I’m actually FAR more interested in Michael’s story here. Can you imagine being told from the start of creation that you would have one crowning moment of cosmic importance that would bring God back, building that up into some sort of pinnacle of your existence, and then 1) being denied that thing right as you stood on the edge of victory, and then B) learning the whole thing-- everything in your whole life-- was one big lie and God didn’t actually care?

Kinda sounds like Dean’s 14.20 revelation, right? But at least Dean has an identity outside of what’s connected up to his destiny (he’s always HATED the idea of destiny and fought against it with everything he had), or to Chuck. In some ways Dean is so very much like Michael, but in other ways they are complete opposites. Which should make Michael’s return now very interesting...

At least 1000000x more interesting that Adam’s return... We only ever had Real Adam for like half an episode, and that guy was... kinda... disappointing, lol :’D

Sam: Look, Adam... You don't know me from a hole in the wall, I know. But I'm begging you. Please, just trust me. Give me some time.Adam: Give me one good reason.Sam: Because we're blood.Adam: You've got no right to say that to me.Bobby: You're still John's boy.Adam: No, John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad. So we may be blood, but we are not family. My mom is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again. So no offense, but she's the one I give a rat's ass about, not you.

And that was his final word on the matter. Not that any of that was his fault. John had deliberately kept him in the dark about everything to “protect” him. He was easily manipulated by angels making him promises they had no intention of keeping, and was already poisoned against Sam and Dean by Zachariah. By the time he understood he had been duped from the start, he’d already eaten the cheeseburger and drunk the El Sol.

ZACHARIAH: Hey, don’t get me wrong. You’ve been a hell of a sport, really. Good stuff. But the thing is, you’re not so much the “chosen one” as you are…a clammy scrap of bait.ADAM: No…but what about the stuff that you said? I’m supposed to fight the devil.ZACHARIAH: Mmm, not so much. Hey, if it’s any consolation, you happen to be the illegitimate half-brother of the guy we do care about. That’s not bad, is it?ADAM: So you lied…about everything.ZACHARIAH: We didn’t lie. We just avoided certain truths to manipulate you.ADAM: Oh, you son of a bitch.ZACHARIAH: Hey, how do you think I feel? I’m the one that’s got to put up with that dumb, slack-jawed look on your face. Kid, we didn’t have a choice. The Winchesters got one blind spot, and it’s family. See, Sam and Dean, they’re gonna put aside their differences and they're gonna come get you, and that is gonna put Dean right…here…Right where I need him. This is the night, kid! Our night. Michael’s seen it. The tumblers finally click into place, and it’s all because of you. And me. But who’s keeping score?ADAM: Yeah, I’m not gonna let you do this.ZACHARIAH: Cool your jets, corky. Sit down. We’re doing it together. Plus, you still get your severance. You still get to see your mom, okay?ADAM: Why should I believe you?

Too little, too late, and even after THIS, he still said yes to Michael, so... kinda... he brought it all on himself, you know? 

But all this stuff about manipulation and rigging up the Grand Plan... fascinating how that’s all come back around in the context of Chuck’s bigger plans, you know? So that’s what I’m personally here for, not Adam.

[andronauts]

more feelings on roy endoza/dnd

yeh so as expected i already knew how shitty i was gonna feel after the last session

pretty much was talking abt this shit forever ago but YKNOW people still think i didnt “expect ppl to react like this” or “didnt consider ppls feelings” bRUHHHHHH............ OF COURSE I DID........

i had a lot of stupid moments as a player that i wish i remembered in time but its kind of too late for it now ig. and im not talking about my godmove play about using my godtier artifact as a powermove for my own personal mission no im not talking about that stupid moment bc i honest to god think that was a powermove on the campaigns part. on behalf of the party it was a shitty move on behalf of the gods and the villain himself it was a fucking powerplay so yeah. very double edged sword that also heals as well.

anyways. i have a lot to word abt... im still upset! i have been about this specific scenario happening ive literally been crying about this scenario since february so like idk man i never underestimated how much it was gonna hurt when ive written 1000 diff scenarios of it playing out and imagined 1093924829385 diff scenarios of how it would play out and all of them SUCKED there was no good reveal.

everything ive done i have felt SO GUILTY ABOTUJKSDFDSFS... like REALLY iv vent and i rant about it and i crytpe about it and i feel shit as a PLAYER but roy as a character is SO dedicated he’s so persevering he’s true to his goal and ME as a player care more about staying true to my character than how i affect my own mental state or whatever... THIS is the character i wrote i dont care if what he does to achieve his goal is shitty like THATS what i wrote and keeping that was so much more important to me than making myself feel better about my choices as a player... character integrity is so important to me

and i know there are a lot of times when i(as a player)have made a lot of ooc choices... i can name so many. its either me being selfish of things wanting to happen or just overall having an adhd moment but like. in the overall sense of the campaign i did not want MY selfish needs as a player to make ooc decisions just because *i* didnt want my character to be doing a certain thing. as much as i’m the one playing, this is HIS story, HIS choices to make, HIS life... and i hated the idea of making ooc decisions as his player jsut bc i couldnt handle it.

and i know it might have been easy as just not doing things to not hurt ppls feelings but staying true to my chara is just :((. idk i hate the idea of playing ooc and theres literally nothing that can make me make strong decisions like roys to change it. smaller ones i can make but when im in the game all the big decisions are roy’s and not mine. i didnt Want to hurt any of the players feelings.. its SUCKED. MAJOR TIME.

ive hated every single session knowing i was gonna hurt someone in some point of time and i just wanted to kill my chara so many times... i wanted it to end so i wouldnt have to think abt it anymore... i wrote angst, wrote songs, made sad playlists, made awful memes all to cope with the horrible decisions roy was making..

dnt get em wrong i love playing dnd but,, wowie my chara is just.... how do i explain uhhhhhhh

he’s?? not a good person?? i’ve said this from the very beginning that he wasnt a good person... in the past he practiced necromancy time to time and he eventually stole,,corpses...from the hospitla.... yeesh. what a madman. killed milo bc of it. and then wanted ot fix it....

and he’s’;;;;;;.. still good hearted. he wants people to live... he wants to save people.... he doesnt want people to die. as much as he is a necromancer he is still a doctor.... and bringing back milo was like his redemption after killing him. he couldnt deal with the mistakes..

and so he did whatecver it took.. using the keys, lying about everything, and even....using ayce as shitty as it was.

and ik me as a player didnt have to do that but i fucking literally cried thinking about how horrible it was.. i literally dont even know how i made a character this good yet shitty at the same time.

anyway idk nothin i say  is gonna look good bc he’s well.. he’s not a bad person.. all he really wanted to do was save lives and bring one back... but he’s not good either...  he sucks.

im getting off track i have a million thoughts abt dnd i couldnt even begin to type all of them

[jayonthestreet]

Get to know me tag

eyyy thanks for the tag @yourhopeyourangeeel​

RULES: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Relationship status: single

Favorite Color: burgundyyyyyy

Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick, though I do like lipstick. my lips just get really dry ok

Last Song I’ve heard: Cha Cha Cypher - Jay Park, Day Day, Giriboy, a ton of others I can’t remember O.o

Last Movie I’ve Watched: Lego Batman (iM DYING TO SEE MOANA STILL)

Top 3 Characters: oh shit. uhhhhh Thomas Shelby (Peaky Blinders), Merlin Emrys (BBC Merlin), someone from the HP universe don’t make me pick

Top 3 Ships: Yoonseok, Namjin, Sekai

Books I’m Currently Reading: meh just some Jules Verne. Around the world in 80 days is a fave of mine, and it’s spring break :)

Favorite Movie: how could you ask me. (i wont do hp again ok) but I suppose since it’s topical this year, Inglourious Basterds. fucking love Tarantino and Christoph Waltz. 

I adore Imitation Game, as well. That movie...was an inspiration. I’ll fight you on this

Favorite Music Genre: I’m open to anything at this point in my life. Every genre, country included (why do ppl hate it so much?? I fucking grew up on 98.7 WMZQ before I got more into pop, rap, edm, etc.)

But I must say, I am partial to EDM and RnB. I’m a huge Madeon and Porter Robinson fan!! (*adds softly* i would die for them)

Favorite Season: Spring (but fall fashion though)

but speaking as a kpop fan I’m obligated to say summer. yOU KNOW WHY

Ultimate bias: Yeesh, um....I’ll say J-hope. Hobi. Hoseok. 

But like he may be my UB now, but my very first major biases were T.O.P. (my lil Tabi) and Kim Heechul. I just need to put that out there xD

Ultimate Bias Group: fuucckkkk i feel unloyal to other groups, but yeah, BTS

Tagging @cuddlyjisung, @curlypcy, @cocoratscha, @butterscotchhoseok, @dimplehobi, @unabashedlyjoyfulcollective, @lgbtkpopmoodboards, @literally-just-yoongi-trash, @cynical-and-gay, and anyone else who wants to do it! (Sadly, I was confined to 9, lol)