#i really just like. all of them so much. They're all such good kids.

[tiny-starlight-creature]

answering these to introduce myself in this blog!

1. how did you first find out about agere in general?

I've known of the community for about... two years? I dont remember exactly how I found it, but probably someone mentioned it to me on discord.

2. how did u first find out that you were a regressor?

less than a year ago now! I started out as an age dreamer but started experiencing involuntary regressions.

3. what nicknames or pet names do you like to be called when you’re little?

anything related to space or stars! also stuff like Bubba, Little one, Baby, Tiny, Kiddo are good too. I also like nonhuman pet names like Kit, Cub or Chick.

4. does your music taste change when you’re regressed? if so, how?

I tend to prefer instrumental music when I'm little. I don't like to heard the lyrics like when I'm big, so I just have a playlist with the instrumental versions of the music I like.

6. do you usually regress voluntarily or involuntarily (or a mix of both)?

a mix of both, but its still more voluntary than anything.

7. what most often makes you regress?

being tired or sleepy, being cozy in bed with a warm drink or watching my favourite movies. feeling safe in general, I can't regress if I feel exposed or unsafe.

8. if you don’t have a cg, would you want one? if you do have a cg, how’d you meet them?

don't want caregivers, I'm a big kid! I can take care of myself just fine (I have fictional caregivers tho! they rotate depending on my current interests, now it's mainly The Doctor from Doctor Who but there are others)

9. if you have other marginalised identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, etc), how do they figure into your regression? (intersectionality is so cool)

I'm aroace and autistic (probably)! being autistic is a HUGE part of my regression, as I let myself unmask when I'm little and I let out my emotions more than I usually do. I'm also nonhuman, and that impacts my regression too.

10. are you open about your age regression irl? how about online outside of tumblr?

nooo. too scary.

11. what physical places do you associate with your regression? (school, parks, shops, people’s houses, etc)

my room only. I don't feel safe anywhere else.

12. what’s something typically associated with agere (pacis, babbling, bluey, etc) that you don’t do?

I don't like pacis, and I don't do the baby talk that other regressors seem to like (it's too difficult to read for me). also, I don't like the kidcore aesthetic.

13. how does your current regressed personality differ from your personality when you were physically that age?

not much to be honest. I'm more low-energy and much more quiet than when I was a kid, but that's because I'm an adult now and my personality has changed a lot. but otherwise, I act a lot like how I did back then.

14. do you use different pronouns or preferred names when you’re regressed? if so, what are they?

yes yes! I looove space-themed names, they're so fun! my favourite is Starlight, but I have A LOT of them. my pronouns are the same tho.

15. what platforms do you usually go to for agere content? (tumblr, pinterest, instagram, etc)

tumblr! I don't have any other social media.

16. what’s a niche or unpopular interest you associate with your regression?

SPACE. I think that's obvious :D even tho its not really niche. ummm... I like bugs!

17. what’s ur favorite color + something you love that’s that color?

blue! my favourite blanket (a very soft cloak thingy that I wear around the house) is blue. I also like purple! and yellow!

18. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be littles?

Spiderman has Big Little Energy!! all of the turtles from ROTTMNT too (specially Raph and Donnie). oh and Jonathan Sims from TMA. and Crowley from Good Omens! they are silly little guys.

19. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be caregivers?

The Doctor from Doctor Who! (hes my cg :D) also Batman. and some Pokémon (not all of them tho). and Aziraphale from GO. and Steve and Alex from Minecraft :D

20. what’s something you wish you knew about agere when you first found out about it?

that its not as dramatic as some stories paint it to be. it can be intense sometimes, sure, but you can just. do little activities while not regressed. its allowed. you can do whatever you want forever!!

hi friends !! i finally finished making this :D i tried to come up with inclusive agere questions that rly make u think and aren’t specific to any brands, countries, media, etc. hopefully i did a good job at that ^^

feel free to use or repost this image as long as the credit stays in tact !!

. :+* made with a free canva template by So Swell Edu

. :+* plain text version under the cut !!

20 AGERE QUESTIONS

1. how did you first find out about agere in general?

2. how did u first find out that you were a regressor?

3. what nicknames or pet names do you like to be called when you’re little?

4. does your music taste change when you’re regressed? if so, how?

5. which fictional characters do you most relate to (or kin) when you’re little? do you still relate to them when you’re not regressed?

6. do you usually regress voluntarily or involuntarily (or a mix of both)?

7. what most often makes you regress?

8. if you don’t have a cg, would you want one? if you do have a cg, how’d you meet them?

9. if you have other marginalised identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, etc), how do they figure into your regression? (intersectionality is so cool)

10. are you open about your age regression irl? how about online outside of tumblr?

11. what physical places do you associate with your regression? (school, parks, shops, people’s houses, etc)

12. what’s something typically associated with agere (pacis, babbling, bluey, etc) that you don’t do?

13. how does your current regressed personality differ from your personality when you were physically that age?

14. do you use different pronouns or preferred names when you’re regressed? if so, what are they?

15. what platforms do you usually go to for agere content? (tumblr, pinterest, instagram, etc)

16. what’s a niche or unpopular interest you associate with your regression?

17. what’s ur favorite color + something you love that’s that color?

18. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be littles?

19. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be caregivers?

20. what’s something you wish you knew about agere when you first found out about it?

by @tiny-tk on tumblr

tumblr tag: #20 agere questions

[britt-kageryuu]

It's very much likely because I've been reading alot of Monkie Kid fan fics, but what if the concept of Courtnapping, exists in Yokai Culture in Rise TMNT?

It would make sense, since we know next to nothing about Yokai in Rise.

Plus it kinda fits what happened with Splinter/Lou Jitsu/Yoshi Hamato, Big Mama kinda courtnapped him, but then probably freaked out about her instincts, aka might eat him, so she tossed him to the arena to show him off... kinda.(?)

Then Draxum, under the self induced excuse of using Lou for his experiments, courtnaps Lou to his lab.

But things went wrong because no one is really explaining this stuff to Splints, and he escaped with his newly acquired Turtle Children.

Now fast forward to when the Turtles are at least mid teens, post Kraang/Krang, and they keep having odd interactions with the Yokai of the Hidden City. Maybe an attempted Courtnapping or two.

So they either go to Hueso or Draxum to learn WTF is Going On!!! (They will never go to Big Mama because she'd make them take a deal or owe a favor or something.)

The Turtles definitely have mixed reactions to learning these new things about Yokai culture. Though whoever they go to is slightly confused/concerned on why they don't already know this stuff.

From here it all just depends on if there are any specific pairings with the Turtles. Like adding crossovers, dimensional travel, ect, ect.

Like maybe one the turtles get the urge to courtnap someone, maybe they have to save April from being courtnapped, unless it's Cass, then they're like 'Good Luck Sis', because Cass is scary.

Though the image of someone trying to courtnap Raph is more funny than it should be. This is how Raph may fall for the person, or just gain a slight crush.

I have a partially scraped LMK/Rise crossover where the whole courtnapping thing is brought up, and they wonder if by some demon/yokai law, Big Mama and Splinter are technically married, but not officially. I just haven't bothered to write it out because I keep getting stuck on exposition and like little to no plot!

The amount of times I've typed Courtnap/Courtnapped/Courtnapping, and how not weird it sounds now is interesting if weird.

[matchadobo]

Hi! Can I request "you act like a brat all day and you expect me to do nothing about it?" but with the entire Kid Pirates 🥵🥵🥵

Thank you so much! I love how you write Kid 💝

KIDD, KILLER, HEAT, WIRE; brat

🌷matchadobo's 500 followers event🌷

wc: 3161

dialogue: "you act like a brat all day and you expect us to do nothing about it?"

warning/s: sooo nsfw🔞 this is the filthiest thing i've ever written up to this day! 🥵, fem reader, 5some (kidd, killer, heat, wire, reader), idk if this is considered dubcon?, implied established, no plot really just p0rn, rough seggs, fingering, cunnilingus, flame/fire play?, voyeurism

note: hi anon! i hope you mean just the main gang of kidd pirates? i CANNOT for the life of me construct a smut with an entire pirate group omg 😳, this is my first time creating smut for more than three people i hope i did it justice >__<

if there's one thing that pushes kidd to his limits, especially when it comes to you, it's his jealousy. it's not that he's not secured enough about your loyalty with him, it's the way you act like nothing is going on between the both of you. frankly, the five of you.

killer, heat, and wire were no strangers to this feeling either. they felt indignant as you sat with a couple of dudes, blatantly mingling and flirting with them. although there was nothing further than a friendly interaction with the foreign batch of men in the pub, laughing at their jokes and brushing arms and hands with them from time to time pissed off your crewmates. most of all kidd, who's gone down way more than a couple of barrels of rum for someone who says he'll just have a drink.

"oi, slow down, captain. thought we'll resupply today." heat nudged kidd, a dry laugh as he looked at his unfazed friend. his eyes boring holes through you.

"bout that, think we have to postpone that. let's stay in 'ere for another day for tomorrow." he finally placed the mug down, wiping off the remnants of liquid on his lips with the back of his palm.

"postpone? have we got other plans?" killer asked, turning to kidd who turned stood up and padded off his pants.

"her." wire immediately caught up, following after kidd who walked undeterred towards your table. they were from the bar and you were sat on some table across somewhere. they think it's almost intentional at this point that they have a full view of this. if you're trying to rile them up, you've suceeded.

though you're not sure if it ends good for you, with the way each of them are glaring at you when they stood before your table. their eyes raising goosebumps on your skin making your throat run dry.

"we got any problems, gentlemen?" the foreign men around you initiated, referring to kidd and his men looming over you.

"they're my crewmates." you introduced with distinterest, pissed that they're gonna ruin a moment for you because you know what those looks mean. "you know what? i think i should get going, thanks for the drinks." you smiled and bid goodbye to them, expression faltering as you met kidd's eyes.

"hey," one of them had a hold of your arm and kidd and the others almost whipped out their weapons to slash that guy's arm because of his motherfucking audacity. "you sure you're all good?"

you nodded with a smile, a pained one now that it got cut short. you later asked kidd and the others to come with you outside.

"what is it? do we have to go now?" you crossed your arms, sighing and looking at each of these hulking men.

"still don't get it do you?" kidd shifted in his foot, chuckling soullessly.

"guess we oughta remind it to 'er again, captain." wire butted in, putting an arm around you. you glared at him as you looked up, face contorted as you knitted your eyebrows in cofusion.

"what? guys? am i missing somethi- hey! kidd! put me down!" kidd swept you off your feet, he carried you on his shoulder like you weigh nothing. you drummed on his back while muttering out curses on his way back to the ship.

there was always this tension around the five of you, particularly on your end and it's towards theirs. it's begging to be addressed. it's so precarious and it stifles you to your very core. so much so that the mere sight of them looming around you right now drives you nuts and the fear shudders down your thighs. you're wet as hell.

he placed you down the couch on his room, wire sat on one side while heat on the other. killer stood not far from where you were, leaning his bum on the furniture with his arms crossed on kidd's dresser beside the couch; keen on observing. while kidd paced before you in a slow manner, he did it in a way that instigated fear in you for what might be in store for you.

"strip."

it was an order. eyes right at you as he stopped to face you with his arms crossed. kidd's gaze was dark amidsts his bright yellow irises, it was demeaning and you felt your chest tighten.

"what? kidd, what the hell?"

"you heard him, name." killer spoke and it somewhat made the air thicker because he's usually quiet. when it came out of him, it feels more stern that the acid in your stomach starts crawling up your throat. "you've been a brat all day and you expect us to do nothing about it?"

killer's blue eyes felt deadly behind his mask. despite being covered, you can feel the holes boring through you as he kept his voice in the same tone yet with a foreboding volume.

but shit. you wanted to have some fun and meet new people, and if things work see how things will go from there. but you didn't realize that it'd be a problem with them. after all, no strings attached right? but it's attention you really wanted and they couldn't give it to you because they were too into their guy shit. so you got annoyed at them and opted to find some other people to satisfy your needs. apparently they're too busy talking about how one metal differs from the other to spare you some sort of affection.

"y'all weren't even batting me an eye, for fuck's sake." you crossed your arms, gazing to the window with crashing waves. avoiding eye contact at all costs, but you know damn well they had all their eyes on you. "didn't think the lot of you would care if i mess around a little bit. and now you're asking me to fuck you guys? hah."

"so you missed us, that it?" kidd raised a brow, grinning at the realization that you wanted them again.

"aaaw, that stings, name. you're cruel." heat mumbled, his inked hands precarious on your thigh. "think you can be a doll and make it up to us?"

heat and killer were always the sweet ones, wire and kidd are the most vicious; during sex and well, your relationship. the former would always be some sort of your best friend and would be kind enough to think about you than their own pleasures during sex. but the latter will always be on their mission to fuck you up in the most demeaning way possible, they're never fucking kind. they always teased and fucked with you, be a little shit around you and annoy you in the worst ways possible. and during sex, their benevolence isn't to be expected. they'd always finish with you in the filthiest way possible that you wouldn't even remember your name right.

which explains why wire was the first to catch your lips and bury his tongue down your throat. he initally had his arm around you but when you wouldn't stop bitching about them letting you go, he'd had enough and ought to just shut you up in the best way he thinks he can. you squrimed under his lips, eyes shut tight. he held your wrist with one hand while the other settled in pushing the back of your neck to his. you pulled away by force, staring up at him as he donned a pompous smirk and eager eyes.

"oh? what's wrong, name? thought you wanted attention?"

"fuck off, wire. fucking get off."

"and hey, for the third time, you heard the captain. otherwise we'd rip off your favorite dress."

you rolled your eyes with a deep blush on your cheeks. whatever, this'll be quick. you struggled to reach behind you the zipper that goes way down the bottom of your spine. heat chuckled, placing his hand over yours so he could take over. he gave your shoulder a dry peck before helping you out of your dress.

killer took matters into his own hands and sauntered towards you, holding your jaw with one arm as he discarded his helmet with the other. he ran his thumb across your cheek, smiling as he looked into your eyes down to your naked frame. like a kitten, you nuzzled your face deep on his calloused palms. he unzipped his pants while keeping his grip on you, he soon held of one of your hands and guide it down his groin where his painfully hard boner is begging to be released.

"handle it for me, yeah?" he rubbed circles on your cheekbones, soon brushing your hair out of your face as he combed through your locks. "i'll let it slide this time if you do well, dove."

and it shocked you to your very core when killer was quick to push himself so far down your throat when you had just put his length in your mouth. your tears fell as his head touched the back of your throat forcefully. you had to grab a hold of his hips, nails digging by the sides of his pelvis. you whined with your mouth full, he was too kind to pull away and give you a break.

you panted, drool and bubbles on your mouth dripping as it coated your chin. killer grimaced, rubbed his length on your cheeks and teased his head on your numbing lips.

"'s wrong? can't fuckin' take killer when he's not bein' nice?!" kidd grinned behind him, wrapping his hand around your throat to spit in your mouth. "you know damn well you're not gettin' off this easy. now, suck it." kidd fisted your hair, letting killer fuck your mouth the way he pleases with kidd in control.

heat and wire were palming themselves in their pants, the feel of your bare body next to them is enough to render their cocks hard. they yearned to touch you, explore your body and pleasure you the way you're pleasuring killer.

there was a good while where killer's grunts and the gurgles and gags of your throat filled the room. you were crying not from pain but from the blond's intense pace. you had never seen him this eager and rough, maybe you really did piss him off that's why he had to take it out on you. but soon enough, killer came down your throat, taking a long while to keep his cock inside you while you drink up every bit of his release.

your chest heaved as you sat on the couch, head hanging loosely from the backrest. dizzy as you try and recover from a mouthful of killer's load.

you turned to wire who touched you a little to precariously down to your soaked panties. you hear a lowly chuckle vibrate from his chest, amused at your state. he palmed you through your panties, while the other had wrapped around your throat. you placed a hand over his arm, as if begging to give you a break and recover. but he just grinned and his fingers became faster. the grip around your throat became tighter.

heat was just reveling in the feel of your skin and rubbed circles back and forth close to your inner thigh. he placed your thigh above his so you can open up more for the brunette.

kidd got behind you, pressing your cheek to his crotch, his head peeking out of his underwear. you looked up at him with glassy eyes, but of course he wouldn't care. you fucked up that bad.

killer was still at high from earlier, but he stroked his cock at the sight of his friends fucking you up. it got him off as you try and take all of kidd in behind you while quirming as wire got his fingers buried deep in you.

"so overstimulated already and we haven't even gotten to the best part?" wire taunted you as he stared down at your half-lidded eyes, his thumb teasing your clit.

they all laughed a little when you tried your best to curse out a muffled 'fuck you' as you struggled with kidd abusing your mouth. the redhead had a hand around your throat to keep your head bent backwards, cum spilling down your cheeks mixed with the tears in your eyes from gagging to much. he really doesn't know when to stop, this man.

and when kidd was finally done with you, killer held your head delicately on his toned stomach, supporting it as you fell weak. he fetched a towel and wiped off the filth on your face, placing a kiss down your ear afterward.

but wire wasn't done with you yet, he was so keen on curling his long fingers in you that you continue to lose all sense with your eyes rolling at the back of your head. "f-fuck, wire. please..!" you whined, gripping his arm and trying to stop him. but really it felt good.

"please what? let you cum? go faster? stop? what is it, angel?" he raised a brow, cunning as he acted coy. and you honestly didn't know what to answer, so you just threw your head back and scratched at his arm so hard it left a scar.

"ah you're way too mean to name, wire. come on, i still haven't gotten my turn yet." heat jumped in, stroking your hair as he brushed the hairs sticking on your forehead out of your face.

"well, you heard him, name. what do you say we finish up, hm?" his pace went so fast you thought you were going to die, you felt your saliva caught in your throat and you couldn't mumble your words right. it was all slurring from here on out.

but your throbbing cunt wasn't even spared by heat, who was starving the moment he helped you out of your clothes. your thighs rested on his shoulder while kidd took the mint-haired's former place beside you, snaking an arm around your waist as he played with your tits from behind while his mechanical arm had a firm grip around your throat.

kidd always had a penchant in choking you, along with the filthy little praises he's whispering at you. he adored how you looked at him with so much indignance, almost wanting to kill him but you can't. cuz what he's doing feels good. the constriction around your throat as he degrades you and tells you how much of a little whore you are.

"seems you're enjoyin' your punishment a little too much, huh? matter of fact this ain't even punishin', aye? it feels so good being treated like the slut you are, doesn't it?" he growled in your ear, his guttural whispers sends shivers down your spine and it doesn't help that heat's way too busy devouring you down there.

by this time, you were feeling so drunk and you're incapable of any sound other than sinful slurs and moans. you whined against kidd's frame, crying as he peppered your face with his crimson-stained lips.

heat had this habit to use 10% of his firepower to warm up his mouth for you, it tickles and it feels amazing. he first teased a tiny bit of flame between your chest, his lips precarious on your skin, so close yet he doesn't touch it. he took a peak at you through his dark eyes, his pants growing tight as he saw you squirming at his actions, looking down at him with begging eyes.

he trailed his flames down your belly button, tickling a giggle out of you as your stomach heaved. soon and it reached your cunt, which was gaping and clenching at the eagerness of heat's stimulation. he wasted no time sucking you up, interspersing his warmth in your soaking folds. it was ecstatic and you didn't know what to do with yourself.

you couldn't even reach down to fist his mint locks because kidd and wire had you restrained. all you could do was drool from moaning too much, the overstimulation driving you nuts.

you grunted, writhing in pain and pleasure as that same warmth pooled in your stomach once more. you had lost track of the number of times you came. it was starting to feel numb and you had lost all sanity to even think about how filthy you look right now, sitting down the damp fabric of kidd's couch soaked with your juices.

it tickles when heat eats you out, so you were wriggling in your seat as he refused to breathe out and continued suffocating himself with your cunt. you mumbled curses and insults, eyes rolling at the back of your head as you choked out a moan when you finally came. your thighs shook and you panted like hell. heat gave you one last kiss on your inner thigh before wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand.

kidd carried your limp body towards his bed, you hadn't notice he was completely naked now if not for his cock poking your back when he carried you bridal style. you were so clearly out of it, eyes half lidded and hazy.

"oi, oi." kidd had a grip on your jaw, kissing your nose afterward. "think you can do more than have a couple of orgasms, aye? come on, that all you got? let's enjoy ourselves, hm?" kidd really does his best rile you up in any fucking situation and it irritated you.

"fuck, this really is a punishment." you covered your face, still blushing from the previous encounters. "will you go easy on me, kidd?" you peeked between your fingers but he just laughed at you.

instead, he flipped your frame the other way where your ass is facing him and you were facing the guys. his favorite position always. you were on your fours, he bent down to whisper in your ear. "never." he bit on your ear before pushing your head down the bed and sliding his cock so mercilessly in you. it helped that you were so wet that he was able to push right through.

you groaned in the sheets, fisting it so hard it ripped a little. your muffled screams were soon turned into cacophonous moans that said a lot about how good you felt when he pinned your arms behind you and held your neck up from behind.

"see them? they're just as hungry for you, waiting for me to be finished with you." kidd whispered in your ear, his pace unforgiving as he continued to kept pulsing on your cervix, holding your jaw so you could take a good look at the others pleasuring themselves at the sight of you. "you see, we wouldn't have to go this rough if you had just told us you missed us. didn't have to go an extra mile and mess around with some damn nobodies, hm? so take it like a fuckin' brat that you are."

girl 😳😳😳😳 when i tell you i FLIPPED when i got the request i 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ thank you so much for the request anon! 🥰🌷 i hope you liked this :)

this was so good omfg 😩 idk why i think wire is a fucking baddie AHAHJZSGHSHS think i saw a hot fanart of him 🥺

if you guys are interested in requesting a fic for my 500 followers event, my askbox is open! click here for the main event post for more info :DD i have open slots for forced proximity, hurt to comfort, fantasy, he puts you in your place (smut), and modern aus!

[immeasurablesaladagere]

A Wildcard is Active - Team Self-Sufficient

-----

Words: 4973

Series Summery: Set in a hypothetical fourth session of Wild Life in which each player has a 50/50 chance of being turned into a kid (ages 4-8) or remaining an adult for the week. How will the adults manage their tiny teammates? How will they keep them out of trouble? And how dangerous could a red or yellow toddler really be? Told from a variety of group POV’s, all with their own challenges over the course of a hypothetical session 4. 

⭐️ Fun fact! Every character's child/adult role was actually determined by coin toss (head=adult, tails=child)! All of these dynamics were chosen at random and some were pretty perfect. I just had to do it when I saw this pair.

Fic Summery: By a stroke of bad luck, both Gem and Joel end up as children and are determined not to let anyone know. There are reds about, it’s not safe for them to be alone without an adult to protect them. When they run into trouble in a cave, they're forced to ask the Bamboozlers for help.

----

On the first morning of the fourth session, Joel allowed himself to stay in bed just a bit longer and take in the snail-less peace and quiet. No more running about, constantly looking over his shoulder for deadly flying mollusks, just a nice easy doze in the Charger, living the life.

Gem was already up and about, cooking breakfast by the smell of it. Somehow session three had been a breeze for her and now she was going around being all productive. Showoff. 

“Joel! Breakfast is ready!”

As much as he wanted to roll over and doze for another thirty minutes, the start of the session would wait for no man. They only had a short time before the next wildcard activated for the week and they needed to pound back as many calories as possible if they wanted to keep up with whatever craziness Grian had in store this time.

So out of bed and into their makeshift kitchen he went, rubbing the sleep crusties out of his eyes. “Quit your yelling, what if I’d been sleepin’ still?”

“Then you needed to get up anyway. Wildcard rolls in an hour, up and ‘attem!” Gem said with the chipperness of someone who hadn’t spent the last week fearing for her life, and slid two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon onto the table.

“Yeah, yeah. Easy for you to say, you dirty snail-lover.”

“Hey! Who made you breakfast?”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.” Joel shovelled a forkful of bacon into his mouth and groaned. “S’really good.”

Gem chuckled. “Well don’t make it weird! Maybe I shouldn’t be cooking for you.”

“No, please, I’ll be eating nothing but bread all season.” He whined. “Seriously, this is great, thanks Gem.”

“Well of course! We’re going to need the energy!” She finished her glass of milk in one go and got up to start putting her dishes away because holy moly, she ate fast. “What’s on the to-do list for today?”

There were about a million answers to that question, seeing as no one got anything done last week. Diamonds, finish the base, make traps, go to the nether; but of course what they’d like to do didn’t matter so much as what they could do once the wildcard hit. “Dunno. Some mining, maybe hit the nether if Grian hasn’t rigged it to explode or sumfing. I need redstone and gunpowder.”

“Ooo, yeah, the nether sounds good. I don’t know if they’ve found the fortress yet, so maybe there’s still some potion stuff left.” 

The moment the last piece of toast was in his mouth Gem was snatching his plate out from under him and dumping it in the sink.

“Oi!”

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

Well, might as well get started on the list. “If gonna try to finish the base while nofing’s going on, head’s up for falling deepslate in here!”

“If you get rock dust in my kitchen I’ll put you on yellow!” She called after him.

The base was coming along nicely, it just needed a few finishing touches. Trim here and there, polish the windows, sand off a few edges. He grabbed his tools from the starter base and climbed up onto the hood of the car. Maybe he could even finish before the session started.

-

“Joel! Wildcard!”

He could not. Joel sighed and set down his tools as the colourful ellipses appeared in his vision and Gem came outside. They had to be prepared for anything, and it was much safer to find out the gimmick together. They both braced for the worst. Floor is lava? Levitation? Permanent nighttime? More snails?

A Wildcard is Active.

The two of them did a hasty once-over of themselves. 

“Hearts and hunger are the same,” Gem reported.

“No effects, and you’re not dying right now so no floor-is-lava. Darn, I was hoping for that one.” He didn’t feel any different, and nothing around them seemed immediately strange. It was almost more unsetting that he couldn’t pinpoint the twist right away. 

“You were hoping I would die?” Gem asked incredulously.

“No, no, but you know what I mean. I was so sure that’d be one of them!” He patted himself down. “I don’t feel weird. Do I look weird?”

“More than normal? No.” She smirked.

“Wow, rude!”

He was about to accept that maybe Grian had miraculously decided to do something low-key this session. Maybe it was nether-based or mob-based and wouldn’t be nearly as big a deal as the murder snails and the hunger. Sure, it would put a mild spanner in the works but they would live. But then he felt it. His entire body suddenly felt… buzzy. Like pins and needles all over.

“Um, actually… Maybe I do feel a bit weird…” 

Gem shifted from foot to foot, rubbing a hand up and down her arms. “You feel it too? What is that?” Her eyes widened. Uh oh. “Oh my— Joel, you’re smoking!”

“I know that Gem, but I’m married so—“ Oh. Sure enough, his arms were giving off a faint purple mist, and now that he noticed it, so was Gem. “Woah, you’re smoking too! What on earth is this? Gah, I hate this feeling!”

In seconds the smoke went from tiny wisps to thick fog that surrounded him completely, and he could just barely make out Gem disappearing behind her own cloud as the smoke consumed him and everything went dark.

Then a moment later he was back again, lying face down on the car and tingly all over. He groaned. Was it weakness? Why did he feel like he was just tossed around by a ravager? He went to sit up and was rocked by a wave of dizziness. “Ugh, oh dear…” He mumbled, and then slowly his words caught up to his spinny brain. 

Something was wrong with his voice. It was higher, and weirder. 

“Joel!?” Came a squeaky cry from the ground, one that sounded eerily familiar. 

He shuffled forward to the edge of the base and oh, that was a long way down. Standing in a fun-size suit of armour and using a sword much too big for her to prop herself up was Gem. Tiny Gem. She looked no older than seven, maybe eight at the absolute most.

“Gem! What’s happened to you?” He called down, and yeah, his voice was definitely wrong. 

“Me? What about you? You’re teeny!”

He took a proper look at himself and his new tiny body, squishy arms, and stubby hands. Oh, this was terrible. 

“Are we all kids? Is that the twist!? That’s horrible!” How were they supposed to survive like this!?

Gem fumbled to pull out her spyglass and looked across the field to their neighbours. “No, not everyone! Tango’s still big over there, but Etho and Bdubs are little!”

“So only some of us? And we both get made into stupid toddlers? That’s not fair!” He pouted.

Their communicators were suddenly flooded with messages, mostly panicked gibberish from everyone who had been baby-fied and gushing from everyone who hadn’t. From the looks of it every group had at least one normal adult; between Scott, Cleo, Pearl, and Impulse there were three, except for them.

“This is bad, right?” Gem asked nervously, “There’s yellows and reds and if they know we don’t have someone protecting us… what if they kill us?” Joel hadn’t even thought of that. “Come  down from there, we should find a place to hide!”

He went to climb down, but stopped when he saw the steep drop down the windshield to the ground. Suddenly his stomach was twisting into knots and he couldn’t bring himself to slide down. “Uh…”

“What’s wrong?” Gem asked with a look of growing worry, “Are you… scared?”

Joel’s ears burned. “N-no! Just, um…” So it was messing with their heads as well.

Gem seemed to understand, and careful to stay out of sight from their nosy neighbours, she crept around to the front of the car and built up a few blocks. When she got close enough, she held out her arms for him to slide into. “I’ll catch you.”

Absolutely not. He would rather die right then and there. “I don’t need your help!” 

Gem rolled her eyes. “Sure you don’t, now come on, before someone sees us!” She hissed.

Without much of a choice, Joel took a deep breath and pushed himself down the hood of the car with a squeak and landed safely in Gem’s arms. Once he was safely back on solid ground, she immediately began to manhandle him.

“C’mon, c’mon!” She dragged him by the hand to their starter base and to his dismay, she was indeed much taller than he was, and she was able to pull him like he was a bundle of feathers. “Grab as much food and stuff as you can.” She said, and began rifling through their chests.

“Wha— okay, where’re we going?” The chests were so hugehe almost couldn’t reach into the bottom and he had to stand on his tip-toes to reach a pile of bread.

“We’re gonna hide underground. No one’s gonna wanna come look for us down there.” Gem said, like she’d thought the whole thing through already. She dropped a stack of torches and loose coal into her inventory.

“For all week? That’s a long time.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why we’re getting all this stuff. We can come back up for food if we really gotta, but we can’t let anyone know that we’re both kids. That’d be super bad.”

Joel snickered. “You’re talkin’ funny.”

She scoffed, offended. “Am not! And don’t be mean to your elders!”

“You are not my elder! Look at you!”

“Uh-huh, and what does that make you? Look how small you are compared to me! You’re just a baby!” She teased, ruffling his hair.

“Oi, you—“

“—Gem? Joel? Are you here?”

They froze. Bdubs. And where there was Bdubs, there was Tango, and Tango was red. Gem hurried them to the wall and dug into it, boxing them in. They both held their breaths as multiple sets of feet walked around their base, and for some reason the whole thing felt a lot scarier than it should’ve been.

“Awe, they’re not here.” Bdubs.

“Do you think they’re kids, too?” Etho.

“Oh, I wanna see kid-Joel so bad! I bet he’d be real tiny.”

“C’mon Dubs, let’s go find the others.”

The footsteps walked away, and they both let out a sigh of relief.

“Let’s dig down.” Gem whispered. She lit a torch and the little box they were crammed in filled with light, which he liked a lot more than the dark. Joel tried his best to stay out of her way as she began to dig a tunnel down, and he was put on torch-duty, keeping it lit all the way down.

After what felt like forever, they finally hit a cave. It was really dark, which was both good and bad. Good because it meant no one had been there yet, and bad because Joel was very quickly learning his little kid brain didn’t like the dark very much.

“I don’t hear any monsters.” Gem said, peering into the hole, “Gimme the torches.” She took one more look around, then scooted down from their safe ledge into the cave. The torch in her hand lit up the walls around them just enough for him to see just how much further the cave went. It was already huge, but it seemed even huger because they were so small. The empty void made his stomach feel fluttery. He took out his sword and gripped it tight.

“Put the torches down, Gem! So the mobs don’t spawn!” He said urgently. Gem turned around and raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re really jumpy, huh?” She smiled.

“I-I’m not! We just have to be careful. What— w-what if mobs do more damage ‘cause we’re tiny? Didjya ever think of that, Ms. Not— uh, Afraid?”

It was meant to be a jab but she just started giggling. “This is adorable. You look so pouty!” 

She was so busy laughing at his expense she didn’t notice the creeper emerging from the darkness and scuttling towards her.

“Gem, watch out!” 

She whirled around just in time to pull up her shield before the creeper blew up in her face and sent her staggering back into the wall. 

“Are you okay!?” He called, timidly crouching over the ledge. 

Gem chuckled nervously, brushing off some of the stone bits that got on her clothes and hair. “Yep, all good! Maybe the torches are a good idea…”

As Gem placed down torches he cautiously climbed down into the cave, keeping a sweaty hold on the handle of his shield. He hated just how blummin’ nervous he felt. He shouldn’t have cared if it was dark or if there might be monsters lurking around the corner, but suddenly the thought of leaving the light and Gem’s side was the worst thing ever. Stupid kid brain, stupid kid body. 

“Okay! We’re okay, we’re fine.” She chirped, “We’ve got torches, an’ our swords and shields, we’ll be fine.” It sounded like she was telling herself that just as much as she was telling him, which strangely did make him feel better. At least we wasn’t the only scaredy-cat, even if Gem was better at hiding it than him. “Let’s go find some iron. We might even be deep enough to find diamonds!”

Right. Diamonds, iron, focus on that. “We’re gonna be so rich, Gem. All those silly fools up there are gonna be freakin’ out about being stupid babies and we’re gonna have full diamond!”

“There, that’s the spirit. Do you— um...” She offered her hand to him with a small smile. “You can be our shield, and I’ll protect us with the sword. How’s that sound?”

Joel scowled at her hand and reluctantly, to the death of his pride, took it. This was the worst day. He was going to have a talk with Grian when this was all over. The jerk was probably an adult as well, knowing him and the stupid universe. “Fine. But only for teamwork.”

“Teamwork.” Gem agreed, and they descended into the darkness.

-

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Gem asked, throwing a few more loose pieces of wood into their little campfire.

It wasn’t. Sure, the dark still wasn’t very nice and they hadn’t had much luck with diamonds, but their trek through the cave got them a lot of iron, nearly a stack between them. “I wasn’t worried. I knew we were gonna be fine the whole time.” 

“Uh-huh. And when you screamed like a girl ‘cause you saw a spider you were totally gonna take it down, right?”

He nodded, dumping as much raw iron as he could fit into the furnace. “Yep, you just got their first. Silly Gem, stealin’ my kills.”

Even though he’d been trying not to think about it, he appreciated what Gem was doing. Both of their minds were being affected by the wildcard, but it was embarrassingly obvious that he had it worse, probably because he seemed to be the ‘younger’ of the two of them. And all the while dealing with her own nervousness and keeping them safe, she was talking to him like a normal person and keeping him steady. The good-natured ribbing they exchanged kept everything feeling light when the scary cave sounds started to get to him, and she wasn’t being overbearing or babying him. It was almost like session one again; a normal day, just ever so slightly shorter than two blocks tall.

“Here, pork chop’s ready.” Gem passed him a stick with a cut of cooked pork chop skewered on it. Even without any seasonings, it smelled delicious.

“Fanks, Gem.” He devoured the whole thing in a few large bites, much to Gem’s disgust. One of the few upsides to being so small was that they were going through much less food than usual, and one pork chop was all he needed to feel properly full again. 

“So,” He burped, “We’re really gonna stay down here all week?”

Gem nodded and started making something on the crafting table. “Thas’ the plan.”

“Aw, but that’s a bit boring, isn’t it? I wanna have some fun too…” He kicked a little stone away and the clacking echoed off the walls.

“Do you wanna have fun, or do you wanna stay alive?”

How could she be so tiny and still act like such a mum? “Stay alive, I guess.” He pouted.

She turned around and laid a thin wool sleeping bag on the floor with the tiniest pillow Joel had ever seen. “That’s what I thought. I’ll take first watch. I didn’t bring enough wool, so sorry it’s not very good...” 

There was no way he could be upset about the sleeping bag, not when she was making that face. If they were on the surface, Joel was sure Gem could get them whatever they wanted just by giving someone puppy eyes. “No, no, it’s fine! It looks super comfy, in fact.” He crawled over to it and nestled inside to show her. Stones dug into his back. “See? I could fall asleep right now.” He made an exaggerated yawn.

Gem chuckled. “I ‘precicate it, but you don’t hav’ta lie. Your pudgy little face doesn’t hide anything.”

“Going to sleep now!” He yelled, turning over and pressing his face into the pillow. “Honk-shoo, honk-shoo, see? Sleeping.”

“Have a good sleep, Joel.”

-

“Joel, get up, get up, come on!”

Joel barely had time to remember where he was before a hand grabbed him roughly by the wrist and then they were running. His half-asleep legs stumbled to catch up and Gem was half-dragging him, and between his bleary eyes and the unlit cave he could barely see where they were going.

“Gem, what on earth— what’s going on!? What are we runni—“ Two arrows whizzed past his head much too close for comfort, and that woke him up.

“There were so many, I��I couldn’t kill them all!” Gem exclaimed. They took a hard left at a fork and two more zombies joined the chase from the right. There were at least six mobs behind them, probably more. There was no time to pull out their shields, they’d surely be overwhelmed instantly, which meant they’d just have to find a place to hide.

“Gem this is bad, this is so bad!”

Gem cried out as an arrow lodged itself in her shoulder, and then another. “I-I know, I know, keep running!”

They rounded another corner and skidded to a halt. Dead end. Joel raised his shield to catch another arrow but the mobs were getting close fast. They were dead. 

He yelped as Gem grabbed him by the scruff and pushed him into a corner. “Ow! Gem, what—?” She began haphazardly surrounding him in cobblestone, and Joel’s stomach dropped. “Wait, G-Gem, what are you— what are you doing?”

“I’m low, my shield’s almost gone,” She panted, and her splitting shield took another hit, this time from the zombie at the head of the pack gnawing viciously at the wood. “Stay in here, I’ll come back for you, okay?”

“Gem, no!” His heart was pounding. He could only see a sliver of Gem’s scared but resigned expression through the gap now. More zombies caught up, groaning and forcing her back. “Gem—!”

The last block slid into place and he was plunged into darkness just as the message rang out.

Geminitay was slain by a zombie

-

This wildcard is a nightmare.

Jimmy watched, exhausted, as Lizzie tried to coach Scar up a tree for the third time. While a good “parent” might have stopped it by now, falling out of a tree was about the safest thing they had been up to over the last twenty-four hours. If all he had to do was pass out snacks for regen every time Scar fell, that was fine by him.

He truly believed Grian’s games simply hated him personally. Why else would he be the only adult in his team? Theyellow life, the canary, the one who attracted death, keeping two children safe. What was the universe thinking? And of course in all the nonsense he hardly had any time to think about how he was going to get his next kill. Lizzie had been trying to help, but most of her ideas ended up drifting in a fantastical or hypothetical Jimmy-is-suddenly-amazing-at-pvp scenario and hadn’t come to fruition. 

“Jimmy, look! I made it!” 

Sure enough, Scar had finally managed to clamber up next to Lizzie on the branch, smiling proudly down at him.

“Wow, look at that! Don’t fall, please, I’m running out of bread!”

“I won’t, I’m being very careful.” Scar waved him off, then wobbled and caught himself. “See? Careful.”

“Mm-hm.”

Bzz-bzzt.

Oh? What’s gone on now? He pulled out his communicator.

Geminitay was slain by a zombie

<Smajor1995: ???>

<Grian: red/yellow kill??>

<BDoubleO100: gem’s baby I kno it>

Huh. Gem and Joel had been missing for the entire session so far, and for her to die to a zombie of all things, she must have been seriously caught off-guard. Or small, came the thought, but even then Joel probably would have been looking after her, what with his whole “family” bit. Was he seriously being a better parent than Joel right now? He smiled to himself. What an idea.

And so, continuing his streak of great parenting, he went back to supervising. 

“Wo-OAH!”

And down Scar went, taking Lizzie with him and hitting the ground with a thump. 

“Owwww, Scaaar! That hurt!” Lizzie whined.

“Sorry, sorry! I was tryin’a get higher!”

Jimmy just sighed and fished two more loaves of bread from his inventory. “Come on now, no arguing, just take your bread.”

Thankfully, even though Lizzie and Scar had proven themselves to be quite the tiny squabblers so far, the snacks seemed to settle them enough to just sticking their tongues out at one another and throwing crumbs. It was in the middle of their picnic when he heard someone yelling his name, and he turned to see Gem running towards him. Sure enough, she was a kid maybe the same age as Lizzie, and she looked all out of sorts.

“Gem! Where’ve you been, eh? What’s going on?”

“Y-You gotta— you—“ She gasped, out of breath and stumbling over her words, “You— we need help!”

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “What? Slow down, who’s ‘we’? You and Joel?”

Gem nodded quickly. “We— we were in a cave and I was s’posed to protect him b-but I couldn’t an’ there w-were so many mobs an’—!“

“Hey, hey, woah, easy.” He knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her small shoulders. This was still so weird. “Deep breaths, ready? In…” She took a harsh breath in. “Out.” She released it. “Now, tell me what’s happened.”

Gem swallowed hard and Jimmy swore he could see the faintest hint of tears forming in her eyes. “Me and Joel are b-both kids, a-and I said we should hide ‘cause we had no adult to protect us so we went into a cave. I-It was my idea an’ I was s’posed to keep him safe, b-but there were so many mobs and—and I di-died and now Joel’s trapped down there and it’s all my fault!” She blurted, and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.

Oh boy. “Well, that is a lot, isn’t it?” He said rather stupidly, and then rushed to correct himself when Gem’s face scrunched up like she was about to start bawling, “B-But don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted, yeah? Where is he? I’ll help you rescue him.”

“In a cave under our base. I gotta show you, w-we dug it ourselves.” She sniffled, seemingly calming down. Thank admins.

“Alright, well…” He looked over to Lizzie and Scar, who were watching with wide eyes. “Lizzie, I put you in charge. Go inside with Scar and play some board games or something until I get back. Or go play with the neighbours, whatever, just something safe, alright?”

Lizzie got a look of genuine seriousness about her and nodded, and the two of them ran off towards the mountain.

Jimmy offered his hand to Gem. “Alright, lead the way.”

-

The staircase down into their cave was a tight squeeze, but once they were in the mouth of the cave opened up considerably. For an undiscovered cave it was very large and, other than a few of Gem’s stray torches, very dark.

“Jimmyyy!” Gem urged, “Hurry, this way!”

“Right, right, hurrying!”

He heard the mobs before he saw them, and there were a lot. At least two skeletons, a handful of zombies, and a spider. No wonder they’d been overwhelmed, even he was going to need to be careful about this. He motioned for Gem to stay back and brought up his shield, steeling himself with a breath for courage. Why Gem came to him with this was beyond him, but there was no turning back now. Joel needed him. Heck, Gem needed him. He peered around the corner where the pack was clustered around a cobblestone box and noticed a single creeper mixed into the bunch. Bingo. 

“Hey, big stupid mobs! Come and get me!” He shouted, and the entire group turned to come towards him. The creeper scuttled faster, pushing its way to the front, exactly what he was hoping for. He hid behind his shield as they all clustered together and the creeper hissed to life.

BOOM

The only surviving skeleton was easy to cut down with his sword, and he let out a huff of relief as the bones clattered to the floor. He did it. Holy moly he did it.

“Joel!” Gem rushed past him to the cobblestone box and he followed close behind.

He helped her break away the cobblestone, and inside the box with not so much as a torch sat Joel, who was maybe even younger than Scar, curled in on himself and shaking like a cold strider. A tiny part of Jimmy, the tiniest, ugliest part, whispered in his ear how easy it would be to get a dark green kill right now. How simple. But he shut it down. No. Not like this.

“I-I don’ l-like this wildcard…” Joel whined, before bursting into tears.

“Oh Joel, buddy, it’s alright…” Jimmy tried to comfort. His hands hovered uncertainly. A quick glance at Gem told him she wasn’t doing much better and was just barely keeping it together. He needed to come up with something quickly. 

Without stopping to consider the possible awkward consequences, he did the first thing he could think of. He reached down and scooped Joel into his arms.

“Hey, shhh, you’re alright, you’re okay… shhh. Uncle Tim’s gotcha now, everything’s gonna be A-OK.” He hushed, letting every soothing phrase he could think of tumble out of his mouth like alphabet soup. He threw in a little gentle rocking, pet Joel’s hair, anything he could think of until finally the shaking and crying began to settle. The shoulder of his jacket was soaked through with snot and tears by the time Joel properly came back around, but that was fine. He would just have to dunk it in the river or something later.

Joel sniffled and sat up slightly, using one hand to scrub at his face while the other stayed firmly clutched in his shirt. “Ugh… sorry about that, Jim. This whole kid ‘fing sucks…”

“…Joel? Are you okay?” Gem mumbled, face flushed and eyes puffy.

Joel thought for a second, then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Just got a bit scary there, y’know? Stupid baby brain didn’ like the dark.”

“M’so sorry…” She warbled, sounding on the edge of tears again, and Jimmy had to put a stop to that right away.

“Nope, no more crying!” He announced, maybe a bit too loudly, “Everything’s alright now. You did the best you could, Gem. See? Joel’s still on six lives because of you.”

“But I—“

“No buts! You did a good job protecting Joel, and Joel was very brave for staying safe down here by himself. Can we all agree?”

“Haha, butts.” He heard Joel mutter against his shirt. Jimmy counted that as a win.

“Perfect. Now we’re all going to get out of this cave, and you two can spend the night with the Bamboozlers, how does that sound?”

“Like a sleepover?” Gem tilted her head like a puppy, and now that they weren’t in a crisis, man, these guys were cute. 

“Yeah, like a sleepover. C’mon now, I’ve got to get back to Lizzie and Scar before they destroy the server.” He went to set Joel down, only for him to cling tighter and wrap his legs around his torso like a koala. Jimmy was happy to keep carrying him; if he was being honest he expect Joel to start thrashing to be let go the moment he came back to himself, but if he still needed it then Jimmy certainly wasn’t going to judge. Plus, one day it was going to be an amazing story to hold over his head. Maybe not today, but someday.

“So,” Joel said, a cheeky smile on his face as they started up to the surface, “‘Uncle Tim’, huh?”

Jimmy wordlessly reached over and pushed Joel’s head back against his shoulder. “Hush.”

[burningcheese-merchant]

I NEED MORE BURNED CHEESE CONTENT, could you please feed this poor hungry soul some burning cheese kids? Imagine the SUPER protective burn during Golden's pregnancy, or, or helping her with the children's dough (and already planning the next children)

The kids will be here soon, I promise :( they're at school right now, Spice and Golden have to go pick them up. It won't be too long. (I have something important to do irl and that takes priority. I'm hoping I have time at the end of this week to sit down and try to draw them. Everything else is ready, their characters sheets are done, got their whole lives on lock lol. All that's missing is to put them on paper. I only have about half a gram of artistic talent so I'll really be pushing myself here... but I want you all to see them really badly, so I'm happy to do it haha)

I don't have to imagine anything, I'm already there with you, buddy :') I hc them as already married by the time the kids come along, and yeah... Spice is SUPER overprotective lol. Very, very gentle and doting, but fiercely protective and downright hostile towards literally everyone else as a consequence of that protectiveness. He won't leave her side unless absolutely necessary, and he'll be snapping at whoever forced him to leave her and then rushing back to her as soon as he can. (She feels kind of claustrophobic at times, because he literally becomes her shadow during those 9 months lol.) But really, he's at her beck and call from beginning to end. She's craving something? He gets it for her. She's sore? Hugs and massages and nice baths. She's tired? He carries her to bed and doesn't allow anyone to bother her for any reason for the whole rest of the day. She can't sleep? He's up with her all night, talking to her and soothing her and doing whatever he can to lull her back to sleep because she needs all the rest she can get. He's Peak Husband during this time lol.

(He's just... beyond happy. I also hc this as being after Spice has redeemed himself and been accepted back into society, but still not having 100% let go of his dark past (which he never truly will, you can never fully forget something like that, unfortunately). So really, he takes this as one of the greatest rewards for his change of heart that he's ever gotten, and as a sign that he really has become better. The day Golden came to him and told him she was pregnant was the best day of his whole, entire life. He fell to his knees and cried when she told him. Not only has he managed to forsake his destructive nature and instead create something, but he's engaged in the most profound act of creation there is: he helped create a life. And he created this precious life with the woman he loves, who helped kickstart his journey to redemption in the first place. It just shows how far he's come, you know? From a cruel tyrant to a beloved king to two peoples... from a bloodthirsty psychopath destined to live and die alone to a much more even-tempered man who has atoned for his sins and learned to be a good friend and person again, as well as became a beloved husband and father... still a force for destruction, but now in a positive way, not a negative one. It's been a very long road, but it really feels like he reached the end, and this victory is sweeter than any he's had before.)

...And same thing if they're cookies, honestly lol. Peak Husband. Burning Sweetheart Cookie here, jumping for joy when Golden tells him she wants a child. He goes hunting for a Witch Oven of his own accord, going to quite literally every corner of the earth until he finds one, then they go to it and he's just like a kid on Christmas Day lol. They're making the batter together and he's just grinning that big, pointy grin he's got, beaming like the sun. How much of his dough should they mix in? How much of hers? What will happen, what sort of child will they create? Golden thinks he's so cute lol. He won't even sit still while the kid is baking in the oven; if he's not pacing back and forth in anticipation, he's picking Golden up and swinging her around and smothering her with kisses, and going on and on and on about how great the kid will be and how they'll be a fine warrior just like him and Golden. He's yanking the oven door open as soon as that timer goes off and they both hear crying... she has to tell him to slow down so they can both take the baby out together (he was so excited that he was just going to do it by himself lol)

TL;DR: The woobification of Burning Spice Cookie on this blog is complete, he is now Burning Sweetheart Cookie, reformed villain who loves his bird wife and their babies with all of his spicy heart

And to feed you a bit of extra content (and to keep everyone on the edge of their seats), I shall feed you a bit of information about the kiddies:

There are two of them, a son and a daughter. The son is the older one by a few years

I did research and took inspiration from both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for their design and some of their personality traits (I will explain this in detail soon. I actually really enjoyed learning about these religions, even if for a ridiculous reason, and I look forward to rambling about all the little bits and pieces of myths I cobbled together to make these two lol)

Each one resembles a parent quite a bit (but I will not specify which child looks like which parent yet)

One of them has wings like Golden Cheese does

Something really bad happens to the son in the future

Here are their soulstone descriptions, because yes, I really did go above and beyond creating these little guys lol

"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. It feels warm and light, like a rare, refreshing breeze on a desert morning... But is that a single grain of self-doubt, nestled deep within its core?"

"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. Though it burns very hot and bright, and feels difficult to handle at first, the kindness and unyielding strength resonating from within are nevertheless unmistakable."

[keepmycandleburning]

IDK if this little section of the internet is just uncharacteristically hateful and negative and miserable lately or what. I've been lurking for like a year and posting since like 2 months ago, and it seems recent. I don't really feel like inserting myself into it anymore because it's not fun.

I loved HP as a kid probably like 9-12 y/o, at which time I picked up on something between Bellatrix & Voldemort due to the be quiet, Bella and the no higher pleasure lines. I reread the series for the first time as an adult in Oct-Nov 2023, and I was astonished at how much more I am able to pull from this text now. I came away with a much greater understanding of several things I'd missed as a kid. One of these is that it was very clear to me that Bellatrix & Voldemort were written to be at least sleeping together. VERY CLEAR. It was AFTER this point that I started being part of the fandom, and way after that I've seen people claiming their relationship ISN'T in the books. To me, this is really surprising, because when I've read the books as an adult, it's quite clear. Once I got into the fandom, I found that there are a huge number of people that agree with this interpretation of the text and find is equally obvious as I do.

However, despite the fact that I've seen a number of claims that they DON'T have any relationship in the books, I don't see people using text evidence to support this interpretation. In my personal opinion, this is probably because this is a very difficult argument to make based on the text. But if you think it can be done, instead of submitting negative anon messages without any text support, why don't you write a meta? If anyone would like to make a post going through all of the things people say are text evidence for Bellatrix/Voldemort and explaining why they're not the case, I would gladly read that out of genuine interest. Or, simply going through all the excerpts on their interpersonal relationship and explaining based on the text what sort of relationship you think they DO have.

I have seen countless people over the years analyze sections of text, lines between different characters, their attitudes toward each other, their various actions, and so on, and explain why this adds up to Bellatrix & Voldemort having some sort of relationship. I have NEVER yet seen someone who DOESN'T believe they had a relationship write a text analysis of their opinion. So I sincerely invite you to go through all the bits of text that Bellamort shippers say are canon evidence and explain why they're not—in individual instances and in total. Explain why = not just 'this is my alternative interpretation without text analysis' but *how you justify this being the case based on the text*. How do you justify ignoring how countless bits of the text can be interpreted all in this one way (Bellamort) and instead interpreting them all different ways? How do you explain what JKR was intending to say about Bellatrix & Voldemort's interpersonal relationship considering all their interactions both on- & off-page? WHY are they written the way they are if they don't have an intimate relationship? Or if you believe they're not written that way, again how can you justify this based on the text? If you need a list of text moments and existing 'Bellamort is canon' metas I can compile one.

I'm curious to see what you come up with, because I've never once seen this done—and because, as I've said, it's not an opinion that I personally believe to be supported by the text. If you can explain why it is supported by the text please do that and I'll consume it in good faith.

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

What Clique Stereotype Each AOT Character Is

this is in honor of the fact that the only thing on my mind right now is GENUINELY gothkasa like omfg I need her so bad it's not even funny you guys PLUH EASEEEE-

Eren: you're surprised he's actually passing his classes because he never turns in work, etc. (thanks to Armin and Mikasa); all the girls like him but he just exist you guys.. I will not fall into the Eren frat boy agenda I swear... (I want to so bad) but yeah he kinda bullies other kids and says "no it's just a joke, trust"

Armin: chess club captain! y'all knew this was coming I'm afraid but he's a cutie pie... obviously a brainiac... maybe a band kid too (positive)

Mikasa: she is a part of the alt kids, falling into the goth subculture! goth music, dark clothes, gloomy vibes, and boy oh boy does she pull it off

Jean: he's like... how do I put this... he's the kid who's quarterback on the football team and the lead in the school musical. A man who can do both dare I say

Connie: CLASS CLOWN! But not the kind that thinks he's better than anyone, people actually enjoy Connie's humor. Occasional spit ball at the teacher though... he frequents detention

Sasha: she is the 'leaves class early and shows up to class late' stereotype... except it's not intentional. And when she is in class? She's asleep.

Annie: she's also in the alt scene with Miksasa, but she fits into the grunge, skater kid scene. This means dark clothes as well, but she's got her skateboard, a vape, eyeliner, and emo music (I'm projecting slightly)

Bertholdt: he's giving class vice-president... he's a little goody-two shoes but not popular enough to be the actual class president. People enjoy him though because he's a sweetie

Reiner: That one kid you swear you've never seen without headphones on like are they permanently in your ears or something bitch hello? He's also a band kid (derogatory)

Ymir: she is also a part of the alt scene but she is 100% the queer stoner girl (also drug dealer lmfao); she dresses more boho vibes but always has some form of weed on her and she is your plug... also lowkey an art kid

Historia: my darling theatre kid. She's the lead in all the plays, musicals, performances, etc. She's really talented and pretty and everyone loves her so much. She probably gets homecoming queen

Levi: that one literature teacher that never seems to give 100% no matter how well the work is done... will blatantly tell a student that they're wrong instead of the classic 'oh that's a good try... not exactly what I was looking for though', it's just straight up 'no that's wrong.'

Erwin: this is the male history teacher who everyone's kind of in love with just because he's so attractive and lowkey so fun to learn from, but you also speculate might be kinda gay? He gets super into his lectures and his students love how interactive he is

Hange: OKAY SO- they're the science teacher who lowkey doesn't know wtf is happening but goes with it anyway... sometimes the students have to teach them what they're supposed to be doing and if you're in their class, there's a good chance you're fearing for your life at some point during lecture

[ponyregrets]

I wanted to write about Buck and Eddie going in the ocean and I'd written most of it before I thought to check what the weather in LA is actually like right now (look, I'm in New England, I just think of it as Warm down there, okay?) and I decided to go with it anyway. as @frightfullytreeish said, get chilly, idiots

(806 coda, 1900 words, also on AO3)

"Hey, what brings you joy?"

Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper.

And of course there's the Tommy of it all. Buck hasn't exactly been mourning or anything, but he's obviously down. It wouldn't be unreasonable for him to say that nothing is bringing him joy at the moment. It's not a particularly joyful time.

But Buck doesn't hesitate, doesn't question. He just says, "The ocean," and doesn't even ask why Eddie wants to know.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I never saw it until I left Hershey. We never went to the beach or anything when I was a kid. The first time I saw it, I fell in love. It was the best thing I'd ever seen."

"I didn't know that."

Buck shrugs. "Doesn't come up that much. And I guess I always think I'll get used to it? But it's amazing every time. I never get tired of it."

He should have known, right? They've gone to the ocean together. Or--well, they've had calls near the water before. That guy who got struck by lightning. The shark.

The tsunami.

But they've never just gone. Buck has never tagged along with him and Chris on any of their trips, and he and Buck have no reason to just take a beach day together.

Joy doesn't need a reason, right? He can just do it.

"Cool," says Eddie. "Let's go."

"Now?"

"What else are we doing?"

It hasn't been a problem, exactly, their lack of things to do. It's just kind of new, the way they're hanging out in the last week. Usually they have Chris, or girlfriends, or boyfriends. They have some reason to stop being together, and now they just…don't. And Buck just keeps on coming over, hanging out on Eddie's couch, in his space, like he can't bear to be in his loft now that Tommy isn't there.

Or something.

"You got some trunks I can borrow?" Buck asks.

"Are we swimming?"

"You want to go to the beach and not swim?"

Most of the time, that's what he does. When Chris was younger he'd get in the water, but the last few years it's been Eddie supervising while Chris does his own thing far enough away that it doesn't look like he's being supervised.

But Chris is in Texas. And, yeah, it's November, but Buck doesn't seem to care.

"I'll see what I've got," he says and finds he has two pairs of trunks in good enough shape that he's not embarrassed about anyone wearing them. Small miracles.

He throws the bigger pair to Buck and then goes to change in his bedroom. Buck will be doing the same thing in the bathroom, not for the first time, but he's never been changing into Eddie's trunks before. Did Ana ever wear anything of his? Marisol didn't. Buck might be the first person since Shannon.

As long as they fit, it's fine. Not a big deal at all.

They take Buck's car, the podcast he's listening to about the issues with the keto diet resuming as soon as he turns it on. Hen has gotten tired of explaining why his diets might be a problem herself and is outsourcing, which Eddie can't blame her for, but he doesn't find the resources nearly as interesting as Buck does. He already knows he doesn't want to do keto.

"You don't need to cheer me up, you know," Buck says, about halfway to the beach, without bothering to pause the keto thing. "I'm doing okay."

"I know."

It's mostly true. Buck has seemed fine with the breakup. Not happy, but not heartbroken either. He's been a little quiet about it, more so than Eddie was expecting. All he'll say is that Tommy initiated it, but he understands why.

"I'm trying to be happier," he tells Buck. "For me."

"Is that a thing you can try? Like, aren't you just happy or not?"

"If that was true, the ocean wouldn't bring you joy, right?" He lets out a breath, his stomach tied in inconvenient knots. "Someone pointed out that when I had the choice between something that would make me happy and something that wouldn't, I picked the one that wouldn't."

Buck mulls this over for a long moment. "I always figured that's because you're more mature than I am." It's only half a joke.

"Yeah, that's one way of looking at it." His breath shudders more this time. "Anyway. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm looking for things that bring me joy. So I figure if the ocean does that for you, maybe it'll do it for me, too."

"I hope so."

They set up like Eddie would with Chris, towels and belongings planted in the sand, the only difference that they left their phones in the car since no one is staying behind. He keeps his back turned as they shed the layers of clothing they have on, but when Buck hands him a tube of sunscreen, he has no choice but to stare at the expanse of bare back. The motions are familiar, nothing he hasn't done a thousand times for Chris, but…

Well, he's never done it for Buck.

Buck makes him turn around so he can return the favor, a much less familiar process. These days, he usually leaves his shirt on.

But he knows Buck's hands. They're familiar, all heat and callus. Careful, incongruously so. Buck looks like he's built clumsy, someone who can't do delicate work, and maybe he knows that too. Like happiness to Eddie, precision doesn't come naturally to Buck. He has to put the effort in, and he does. Eddie's skin lights up with every stroke of Buck's hands, so he's sure that Buck gets every inch.

And then he keeps going a little longer. Just to make sure.

"Okay," says Buck at last. "We're good to go."

Eddie is expecting Buck to run into the ocean like an overgrown puppy, all bright enthusiasm despite the chill, but he's cautious. He dips a toe in, then his foot, then the other. He walks in slowly enough that Eddie overtakes him, even though he's not running. He's just eager.

"The first time I went into the ocean, I was in Virginia Beach," Buck explains without making Eddie ask. "It was May, and I thought it would be warm enough, it was a hot May. But I ran in and it was so cold. I ran right back out."

"Goes to show," says Eddie.

"What, exactly? I know how the water's going to be today. It's cold."

The water is probably around the same temperature as it was in Virginia Beach in May. Eddie shivers, but doesn't stop, not until he's up past his knees. He smiles at Buck, who's still just letting the waves lap his toes. "Yeah, it's nice anyway. It's hot out."

"Not hot enough."

"It's fine."

He's in up to his ankles now. "You're not getting the joy, though."

"I am."

"Eddie."

"I'm getting used to it."

"You're not supposed to get used to it. You're supposed to be be making choices that make you happy right away, right?"

"I am happy," he says again, and it doesn't feel like a lie. "It's nice, there's no one else here. And it's not cold enough for us to get hypothermia."

"Are you sure this isn't just for me?" Eddie cocks his head, and Buck clarifies, "For my benefit."

"Should it be?"

Buck kicks at a wave. "He said I wasn't ready. Tommy. That's why he broke up with me. I asked him to move in with me, and he broke it off instead."

"So he's an idiot," Eddie says. "Always knew there was a chance, but I was hoping I was wrong."

"Is he, though? Was he wrong? I didn't really want him to move in. I just wanted…" He huffs. "I want to be done with this, you know? I'm ready to be with someone. And I think it could have been him."

It's not like getting shot, or even like getting punched. It's like a bullet or a fist going past him, close enough to graze the skin. Close enough that he's thinking about how much it could have hurt.

"But that's shitty, right? Like, how long could I have kepg going just because I didn't have a reason to break up with him? He was…fun. I liked him. I liked feeling like I'd figured it out. Like that was the last piece. I like guys too."

"Maybe it was," Eddie says. The water is lapping against his legs, the surf gentle. He's used to the temperature where he's submerged, but it's only halfway up his thighs. Every time the droplets splash higher, there's this shock of sharp little pinpricks.

He's so fucking happy.

"Maybe that was the last piece, but that doesn't mean Tommy is it. Maybe you're ready, but you're not ready for him."

"I'm just tired," says Buck. "I'm tired of waiting for someone to want me enough, you know? I'm ready to settle."

"You shouldn't," says Eddie. "You shouldn't be with someone just to be with anyone."

"You can build it," he argues, like Chris angling for a later bedtime or more video games before homework. "Love. Like you and Shannon did."

Nausea roils his stomach. "We didn't. It wasn't like that."

"I know it wasn't perfect, but you two were working on it. You were going to--"

"She wanted a divorce. Before she died. That was one of the last things she told me. We weren't going to have another kid, we weren't going to get married again, we weren't going to be together." He's not crying, but in that way where he is very aware that he's not crying. Where Not Crying is currently defining his existence. "I think we could have been friends," he says. "And maybe we could have figured it out. Been together again, made it good. That's what I told myself. And that's…easy."

"Easy?" Buck asks, in a small voice. Like Eddie is telling him a fairy tale he wishes could be true.

Which Eddie is, actually.

"If she was the love of my life and I lost her, then that was it. No one else would ever measure up. Nothing else could ever be as good. It was never going to work."

"But she wasn't?"

"Maybe she was. Or maybe--" He's Not Crying. "Maybe I don't just get one love, or even just one life. Maybe it doesn't have to be about finding her again. It can be about finding someone new. Someone who…"

He chokes then, the words dying in his throat. Buck is dazzling in the sunlight, his eyes as blue as the sea, his expression open, waiting. His whole existence focused on Eddie.

Eddie would marry him today. Eddie would marry him tomorrow, Eddie would marry him yesterday. Eddie would tie himself to Buck in any way Buck could think of, in every way, with wills, with contracts, with mortgages, with handcuffs, with string.

"Someone who brings me joy," he finishes.

"Joy," says Buck. He looks over the horizon, smiles, shakes his head.

Eddie's chest is too small and too big. He's never had so much in him.

"I've never had that," he muses. "Someone who makes me feel like the ocean."

"Like the ocean," Eddie says. "Yeah."

[tiktowafel]

personal lore dump for Shihai Kuroiro!! (where i'm probably a little mean to him but it's out of love guys i swear)

verrry late for his birthday but it's here!! :] love this kid. so many thoughts about him to share

i'll just start with the part that i find the most important - the core of his character, to me, is that he is not what he says he is and not what he desperately tries to convince himself and everyone else that he is.

i'm mostly basing this off of how ultra analysis gives him one of the two lowest wits scores in his class (as shown above) despite the fact that he calls himself "the scheming hero" and spends half his joint training match dramatically talking about trickery and psychological traps - while i like to ignore canon sometimes, this little piece of information is something i could never disregard. it's so endearing to me, plus him apparently trying really hard to seem way cooler than he actually is fits with the chuunibyou archetype he's supposed to represent.

severe headcanon territory & a generally slightly lengthy textpost under the read more lol

now, why do i hc he's that way in the first place? well, basically: his whole life he's admired underground heroes very strongly and ended up developing this very idealized mental picture of the perfect underground hero - a mysterious lonely mastermind who hides in the shadows and avoids the spotlight, quietly pulling all the strings and relying on plans and schemes instead of a powerful quirk and flashy moves. but despite all the dirty tricks they're capable of, their heart is in the right place - in fact in a way their motivations are far more noble than those of all the popular celebrity heroes, because they don't care about fame or recognition, they act out of a genuine want to do good. this is what Kuroiro aspires to be and what he bases his entire persona on, pretty much.

and that's because this is also the only kind of hero he could ever identify with - he was always an odd, withdrawn kid who had trouble making friends. he couldn't see himself in all those shiny charismatic always-in-the-spotlight heroes that everyone else seemed to love. so when he learned about underground heroes, he fell in love instantly and decided this is who he wanted to be, over time forming this perfect underground hero image to set as his goal.

except, again, a lot of traits possessed by this ideal of a hero aren't really in line with what Kuroiro himself actually is. he's nowhere this badass. he's nowhere this smart. he kinda sucks at this whole scheming thing actually! he's sneaky, sure, that's by nature of his quirk - but his schemes are way less elaborate than he likes to make them seem, most of the time they're just ways for himself to catch people off guard. he doesn't have the multi-step coordination-based planning capablity of Kendo or Tokage, the adaptability of Honenuki or the sheer sophistication of Monoma (note that almost all of 1-b's plan during joint training match 2 was invented by Kendo and Kuroiro's only strategic contribution was tricking 1-a into thinking he was gonna target Tokoyami so he could ambush Aoyama instead - which is something yeah but still nothing particularly complicated). and he hates that about himself, because intelligence is something that he values and admires so so much - so he exaggerates his strategic prowess a lot, with his hero title and dramatic speeches and all, and does everything in his power not to be perceived as stupid (often failing miserably). it's out of insecurity.

he's also not that much of a lone wolf, either. he does have a strong tendency to isolate himself from others, which is partially because he's convinced himself that he's destined to walk a lonely path in life & content with it (what's a better way of coping with your childhood loneliness than romanticizing it) and partially because the fact that he's constantly putting up a facade does by itself kinda prevent him from forming proper relationships, BUT he's not really happy this way. he's introverted but ultimately not meant to be alone. he does need friends! and he does wish for a romantic relationship, too! but, of course, he sucks at managing those feelings, as we can judge by his interactions with Kinoko and his general incapability of normally talking to girls mentioned in ultra analysis.

i actually really like that he has a crush on Kinoko specifically because it plays really well into everything that i said earlier in this post! remember that something he admires a lot about underground heroes is that they don't care about fame and recognition, and therefore in his view have the most genuine motivations? i like to believe that odd as it is, he actually has a very strong moral compass and greatly values selflessness. so, imagine how he feels when he learns that Kinoko, whom he already has a crush on because she's cute and she's nice to him and she has a really cool quirk (something something mushrooms like darkness so they must be meant to be), wants to be an idol hero. bro's devastated. those people are the epitome of modern hero society's shallowness and superficiality, and she wants to be one! she apparently wants to spend her precious time doing silly little dance routines and shaking people's hands at conventions instead of dedicating it all to proper hero work! and Kuroiro still has a crush on her! that witch...!

and you see, Kinoko isn't actually a shallow person. what motivates her to become and idol hero isn't selfishness (refer to my old Kinoko headcanon list - some things in there are a tiny bit outdated but my headcanon on why she wants to be an idol is still the same!). except Kuroiro doesn't get to know that at first so he remains bewildered and conflicted for quite some time - and i just think that's funny y'know? he eventually learns more about her (second hand, they don't directly talk to each other much, in canon i think Kinoko doesn't even pay much attention to him in general 😭) and starts to change his mind, probably falling even harder in the process - but still the whole thing is complete disaster on his side. he was always shy around her, now there's also... all this, no wonder he can't talk to her at all!!

so, to sum it up: Kuroiro is intense, he's surprisingly idealistic, he's tragically insecure, and he has some very rigid ideas about himself and the world around him that he probably needs to let go of. he's just a mess of a teenager with a lot of to figure out - and he does figure it out, he does get his happy ending eventually! (a conversation with Kinoko, among other things, is something that definitely would be a crucial part in his,, character arc, i guess? and y'know what, while i do really like them as a couple, i think them just getting to talk things out is a "happy ending" regardless of whether they end up together)

OH and by the way: i'm not saying that he's like, going against himself at all times! he's not an actual master schemer or a complete lone wolf but a lot of things about how he acts are perfectly genuine. his affinity for all things dark is genuine, his interest in taboos is genuine, and his love for theatrics is also genuine! in that matter, it's actually not a phase lol he's just like that :] would be blasphemous to say otherwise, that's what we all love him for..!

aaand this concludes my little essay about one of my favorite 1b kids!! the picture of him that i have in my head is very clear, that's why he's the first character that i chose to write this kind of post about - i'm just pretty confident about the hcs i have for him haha. i'm also thinking about writing a more lighthearted list of hcs to complete the vision (ya know, like the good ol days) because there's STILL so much that i haven't shared since it didn't fit this post - so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this!! see you next month probably

[hearted-anon]

hii i have read all your fics and i love them can i request lee! seungmin and lers! leeknow and chan

have a great time writing this!

🥰😛🤗

What, what, WHAT?!

Words: 1,176 Note: hm. T/w: Rough tickles Taglist: @reginald-stay09 @itzsana-kiddingmenow @hetashi-takashimaya-apollos-kid @soap143 @jungwon-is-the-one Lee: Seungmin Ler(s): Channie, Minho

"Yea! He's been acting really suspicious these days…" Jisung exclaimed to a listening Felix to him, both of them with a cup of homemade tea from Minho in their hands for their weekly gossip session. Recently, Jisung has been inviting both Felix and Seungmin over to theirs to 'have a good time', a suspicious cat giving a glare in his direction each time he pleaded to let them both come over, like a child asking their parent for permission to allow their friends over for the night. With a reluctant nod, despite acting very strict towards the quokka, tutting in faux disappointment whenever he would forget to tell the duo to take off their shoes when coming in or were a bit too loud, he still never failed to make them home brewed tea, or the mountain of food that was always perfectly laid on the dining table when they exited Jisung's room.

However, both Jisung and Minho felt a tad bit strange when they only saw one head of blonde hair appear at their dorm apartment these few weeks, not that the ace minded too much of course. But as curious as he was, a paw pasted itself on the younger's door, questioning the Aussie where his roommate had disappeared off to. And to their utter surprise, Felix only gave a small shrug, insisting that it was 'something Seungmin didn't specify about' or 'he said he went to hang out with friends'. Pfft- Hanging with friends?! There were only so many excuses that could make past Minho's sharp observation. Knowing with a terrible gut feeling, he sought the only other person that would help him uncover this mystery, Chan.

"So, you're saying, during they're weekly visits, Seungmin just so happens to disappear and come back when Felix arrives home?" Chan inquires, clicking the tip of his tongue while his foot drums against the wooden floor smoothly. Minho nods along, smiling widely when Jeongin peeks out from his room to catch a glimpse of what the elders were up to, hurriedly scurrying by to take a seat between them both.

"Yea! But none of us knows where he went, but we still haven't asked one dorm…" Their heads all collectively snap to the doorway, right across Changbin and Hyunjin's dorm room, which has been eerily quiet these days. Usually, Changbin would bug their dorm to no end, whether it'd be dragging Chan out for gym or being overly affectionate with the youngest, whereas Hyunjin would just be there to give him an earful and drag him back home when it was time for dinner. However, neither of them has left the dorms recently, staying right at home where it was comfortable.

Slamming opens the door without mercy, Chan and Minho were surprised to find Changbin…cooking?! After having told Jeongin to stay home and keep watch if Seungmin would pass by or even better, come over, they had come over to the 'newlyweds' dorm to investigate. Was this some kind of alternate universe? Eyeing the middle of the Hyung line suspiciously, they both came over to see if the rapper had managed to burn water yet, or fry air. Surprisingly, he was doing shockingly well, their eyes lighting up when they tasted the soup he had made, the cook bashfully hiding away with a cookbook in hand.

"Why did you make this though? Isn't Hyunjin the one usually cooking here?" Lee Know questions, a raised eyebrow with his head in the creamy tomato soup.

"I-I… I just wanted to try and start cooking, nothing more!" Changbin hurriedly explains, and with a shared glance, the elders both pounced onto the youngest of the trio, starting their investigation.

"Found you!" Chan exclaims as the door to Hyunjin's room creaks open, and to well, everybody but Seungmin's surprise, he's laying on the ferret's bed, without said ferret being there. A flustered Changbin stands behind them, looking defeated with tear streaks down his face that the leader was wiping while looking straight into the vocalist's eyes.

"Sorry…I tried to keep it a secret, but they got me- AHA!" Changbin worriedly explains but is cut off when the older bunny's fingers sneakily drill into the hollow of his hip, cutting him off.

"You're going to clean yourself up, and take a long, long nap, clear?" Chan coos sweetly into the younger's ear, squishing and kneading his cheeks before giving both of them a tender kiss each, sending him off without fail. Chan and Minho's gaze then turned to the culprit of them all, who was blinking up and them innocently as if he didn't know what was wrong exactly.

"You're going to tell us why you came here and thought it was funny not to inform anyone." Lee Know announces whilst clearing his throat, the eldest coming to pin the puppy's arms above his head, earning a squeal of surprise. To their shock, he instantly revealed the reason, so much for Changbin's resolve to keep it down. Their jaws dropped once the beans were spilled, fingers immediately crawling over his waist and ribs.

"Hehehey! I-I tohohold you guhuhuys! Whahahat gives?!" Seungmin squeals, trying and failing to bat four hands away from his sensitive body that followed him no matter where he squirmed on the bed, melting into a puddle of breathless laughs for them to tease for now.

"How could you even keep this a secret from your Hyungs?! This is such big news y'know?" Chan yells in an almost hurried way, still trying to let the information sink in, an astonished Minho nodding along at the back. As a so-called revenge, they both up their game on the poor puppy, Lee Know's fingers finding the sides of his stomach and digging in while the leader found blowing raspberries on the nape of his neck interesting.

"AHAHAHA! I-I'M SOHOHORRY! HYUHUHUNG!" Seungmin shrieks, dissolving quickly into loud, yet puffy cackles, kicking his legs out through his struggles to get away from the torment being inflicted on his body. However, neither of them let up, only grinning cheekily above the puppy and letting the sensations linger for longer. It was a surprise that the rapper was somehow still sleeping, or maybe not and just hasn't exited his room due to Chan's instructions, where was Hyunjin anyway?

"PLEHEHEASE IT'S TOHOHORTURE! MEHEHERCY!" Seungmin pleads, tears of mirth beginning to well up in his eyes, scrunching his shoulders to try and block out the eldest's lips to no avail, or shoving at Minho's hands; that obviously didn't work out in his favor at all. Having decided he had enough, the duo let up on the poor vocalist, rubbing his stomach soothingly and his reddened cheeks too. They awed at the sight of Seungmin's cherry red face all the way down to his neck, eyes already lidding before they could say anything.

Safe to say, when Hyunjin got back from grocery shopping, he was stunned to find both members asleep in their rooms, unable to hear the giggling and chatter from a certain duo that had just left.

[lady-griffin]

Interesting enough, I don’t think Jinx really dehumanizes her enemies.

Or that’s not true.

She does dehumanize her enemies, we do see that, it’s just not to the same degree as others do it. Because really, it isn’t so much a matter of Jinx not seeing her enemies as human, but more so she doesn’t care if they are – because they’re all “human.”

Morality and the ideas of good and bad aren’t factors for Jinx. Not really.

She doesn’t justify her actions in the same way other characters do, largely because Jinx is very much on her own side and that’s all the justification she needs for herself; it’s not all that complicated for her, because why would it be?

A good comparison would be Caitlyn and her utter disbelief and horror that people would dare attack a memorial – because who would do such a thing? Who would be so evil and immoral? They’re animals. They’re monsters.

But let’s say there was a memorial for Silco –

Caitlyn would 100% attack it to get to Jinx without batting an eye, because Silco and Jinx are the bad guys, they're morally evil, and obviously attacking Silco's memorial wouldn’t even be close to the same thing as someone attacking her mother’s memorial service.

Her doing it to her enemy is justified, but someone doing it to her loved one could never be justified… because of valid reasons.

Jinx on the other hand, would be furious at someone for attacking Silco’s hypothetical memorial but that’s only because he was HER loved one. Noone crossed some hypothetical moral line; they just crossed her so obviously she’s going to try and brutally murder them.

Jinx is overall very selfish and bias towards herself, so while we can see a double-standard in her thinking, oddly enough (at least for me) it doesn’t feel hypocritical.

Like, Jinx wouldn’t ask who would attack a memorial service, because she definitely would.

She would absolutely care about Silco’s and not give a damn about her enemies – because Silco is her loved one and those are her enemies – it’s as simple as that. There is no good or bad, it's just whether you're her person or not.

And as I'm writing this part out now it's just occurred to me why we see more of Jinx's double-standards and even hypocrisy when it comes to Vi specifically – because Vi is both Jinx's loved one and her enemy.

In regards to Vi and the chem-tanks, she would absolutely be thrown and very upset if some kid came in and cried over their dead parent’s body. Because now the chem-tank she just killed is as real and as human as she is.

Which arguably could be why Vi goes so hard in "Jinx is not my sister" and "that monster killed my sister," because if Jinx is indeed her sister (she is) then her enemy isn't someone she can dehumanize or disassociate her violence from, because it's her sister…

With Jinx though, I don't really see her caring or being moved by her enemy's child crying over their body. I mean maybe, she is Jinx and full of surprises. But I doubt it…

It’s not that Jinx doesn’t dehumanize others, it’s more so – they’re all monsters - including her. Being a monster isn’t good or bad – it’s just what they all are.

It was hard to put into words what I was thinking, so I don’t know if I made much sense here, but hopefully I did.

“Never thought [my sister] would orphan children.”

*Stares at Vi*

*Stares at Powder’s grenades*

*Stares back at Vi*

*Gestures wildly towards Powder’s grenades*

Vi sweetie, you encouraged her. You expected them to work one day. It didn't occur to you she could possibly kill someone who was a parent?

Don’t get me wrong, Powder wasn’t some violent, blood hungry kid, but also...

Violet she was making fucking bombs!!!

Like @embershroud108 has said many times, Vi has become fixated on an idealized version of Powder that never existed.

Though I do genuinely think when they were younger, she didn’t consider the full ramifications of the possibility of Powder killing people, because why would she? She was an angry, young teenager.

She also wasn't going to really care about those people, because those would’ve been her enemies too, so they wouldn’t have “counted” so to speak.

But seriously Vi, how do you know the chem-tanks you've killed weren't parents?

I mean it's almost like anyone, despite how monstrous they are to you or your side, can be someone else's loved one.

[ame-to-ame]

i can't sing a love song really makes me. ugh. i really like Kita!!! I'm just like her fr 😭😭😭

[yuwuta]

PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute

(prev olympics au here)

the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool. 

your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win). 

kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along… 

by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her. 

she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.

[feroluce]

Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed. 

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light. 

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.

[relaxxattack]

well, if you insist! here was the essay:

why rosemary adopt a child (a color theory) (gone silly)

in homestuck, family trees, and the characters themselves, are color coded. this isn't really something that needs explanation, we all know that the color wheel is split basically in half along the jamily and strilonde lines. e.g. pink + orange = red

but if we're going to imagine this is a hard-encoded rule, it leads to funny theories about future fankids... like how rose and kanaya will most likely adopt a cerulean wiggler.

rose and kanaya's colors are purple and green. i would argue that they have a fair bit of red-orange as secondary colors, but their MAIN colors are purple and green.

these colors make up the ends of jewel tone spectrum, meaning that any colors between them are going to end up as jewel tones.

therefore, if you were to "mix" the colors of these two, the middle spot you would end up in would be a jewel tone.

more specifically, cerulean.

there's also, simply, vibes to take into account; aka what looks good together. although rose and kanaya both often wear warm colors, the fact that their "main" colors are jewel tones makes it much more pleasing to the eye for an addition to their group to also be of a jewel tone.

even if they were dressed all in orangey-red, blue and orange look good together! and happen to be trademark colors of...

their postcanon daughter!

by color theory standards, vrissy's design is adorably perfect to fit in with her moms. although an orange kid with blue accents would have also worked, i personally think the blue is cuter.

so, color-wise, they would always have needed to go with a child that was a different color than either of them in order to keep the scheme harmonious. of course it was basically writing on the wall that these two characters, who were literally recreating trollkind, would want to adopt a wiggler, but it's also sweet that homestuck's pre-existing color coded family trees affirm this as well.

a child that went out of the jewel tones and more up into warmer colors, like fuchsia or yellow, wouldn't have looked right with rose and kanaya-- but a child that was just one of their colors would likely feel just as wrong. these two characters, who denied their societies' notions of traditional womanhood at every turn, were always destined to adopt-- to bring in a new color, but a harmonious one.

dave and karkat, however... exist in completely stark contrast to this.

neither of them really have secondary colors. they're both just red, red, red; as red as can be!

karkat hides his red with gray, of course, but gray is hueless and has no place on the color wheel. the closest either of them come to having a secondary color is the fact that dave(sprite) also has strong associations with orange; but this isn't really a secondary color, because it doesn't move around the wheel at all-- it is purely analogous.

dave and karkat's color schemes contain only one hue, and that hue is red.

so if we're continuing to follow the family tree down by using the established color rule, the only way you can really go with davekat is... more red.

you could maybe do analogous colors to red, sometimes, like pink or orange, and i do see that in fankids occasionally. but it's easy to see why so many of them just end up sticking with red-- it's hard to imagine where else to even go from here.

the davekat color scheme is so narrow that, unlike rosemary, they don't have a perfect middle color they are 'destined' to adopt into their family line. it's always just going to be them and their own blood.

which is why, following this logic, obviously the next hsbc upd8 will be the canon davekat mpreg child,

This is the dumbest thing to point out but why is every Davekat fankid red JDJSJDJ its so funny

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people