#i really hope we get a sequel just so we can learn more about him

[easy-there-leftovers]

As Cool As I Think I Am

Summary: The 5 times Spencer tries to be cool, and the 1 time he doesn't care. 

Alternatively; Spencer never thought he was cool, but he found himself wanting to be just for you. 

[a/n] Recommended to be read after, "A Question Unasked", and is a roundabout sequel to "Mixed Messages."

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem! (mentored by Hotch!) reader| cw: slight spoilers for s1e04, s1e06, s1e08, s1e10, and s1e18 | description of canon-typical violence, timeframe switches because I can, and Spencer being an oblivious, lovesick idiot (can't believe this version of him survived all of this lol) | word count: 7.2k

Amazing. You had called him, “amazing” during the Arizona case and that was all that had been occupying his mind as of late. He had been called brilliant before. Been described as bright, gifted, hell, he was called a genius even. Yet that was the first time anyone had said anything positive about him.

Removed from his intellectual capabilities.

It made him think that there was more that he could offer than just his never-ending stream of knowledge and incessant rambling.

You had seen that in him.

Seen that he was 'amazing.'

But he certainly wasn’t feeling that way now.

“On SWAT we broke shots down into three steps." Spencer nodded as he listened.

"One: Front sight. Focus on the front sight, not on the target. Two: Controlled trigger press. Three: Follow through. After the shot, you come right back to the target. Now, what did you do wrong?”

He sighs with his eyes closed. “I didn't follow through.” 

“Right. You came off the target to see where you hit.”

Hotch had been observing him for the past few minutes to prepare him for his assessment tomorrow, and yet it still felt like he was making no discernable progress. 

He had memorized every trick, every form, every physics interplay that could better the ballistics of his shot and yet he still couldn't do it.

"Hotch, my firearms qualification is tomorrow morning. I barely passed my last one." He had said, putting the gun down.

He feels his unit chief gently push him aside to demonstrate and he gets in position.

"Front sight," He aims his gun.

"Trigger press," He presses down on the trigger, resulting in a gunshot to the target.

"Follow through." He finally says. Keeping his eyes forward with his finger still depressing the trigger until he holsters his gun again.

"You do those three things, you'll hit your target every time." Spencer shakes his head.

He tries to replicate the steps again, but only fails miserably.

He has been doing that. He is doing that. And yet he still keeps missing.

If this wasn't part of his job, maybe he wouldn't have cared all too much about his gun proficiency. Or lack of.

And yet it was.

And it was imperative that he learned it to keep his place on the team, but he had been losing hope.

"They're going to take away my gun."

Sensing his frustration, Hotch empathizes with him.

"Profilers aren't required to carry." He groans at that.

"Yeah, but she does and she's great at it."

God, you must've thought he was pathetic.

Aaron laughs internally at that. He knows exactly who the younger one is talking about.

He had seen the way that Spencer had been watching his 'protege,' and it didn't take being a profiler to know that he was absolutely smitten. If he hadn't known any better, he would've thought that Reid's frustrations stemmed from wanting to seem more experienced in front of you.

And Hotch saw no problem with that, at least for now. On the contrary, the two of you working together seemed to have bolstered his focus on the case. Making the team more efficient with their investigations.

He also thinks that it helped because you seemed to return Reid's sentiment, which is why he had brought you along to help him.

So when Spencer turns and sees you walk in, he blanches.

As much as he really liked your presence (you were friends, right?), he really didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you.

He does that more than enough on his own.

But it seemed like your mentor didn't care.

Hotch says your name with a greeting before excusing himself which tells Spencer that he had planned this from the start. He sighs at that. Chest feeling heavy at the pressure.

He sees you give him a polite smile, which he's come to recognize to be your way of easing him, and he returns it.

"I've heard about your progress." Spencer rolls his eyes at that.

"More like regress. I'm sorry that you have to be here." You snort at his joke but shake your head to assure him.

"I'm right where I want to be. "

His heart fills, even though he knows that not what you meant.

"Why don't you go ahead and show me how you fire that gun?"

He nods and waits for you to put on your ear muffs and goggles before he returns to his position. Calming himself down as he remembers Hotch's words.

Front sight, trigger press, follow through.

He fires three bullets and sees them all hit the whites of the target, which makes him sigh for the umpteenth time.

He puts the gun down and lowers his ear muffs to look at you. Seemingly deep in thought, chin resting on your hand, with eyes travelling slowly up and down his form. Observing.

Scrutinizing.

Assessing.

He can't help but feel naked under your gaze.

He always knew you were smart. The cases you've helped solve were more than proof of just that, but he knew that even you couldn't solve the mystery that was his aim.

He couldn't expect that of you. He relies on you so often already.

He briefly wonders how there's such a different between you and him. You joined the same year, joined the same unit, and worked with the same people on the same cases. How was it that you seemed calmer, cooler, and more prepared for anything more than he ever was?

Spencer firmly believes that intelligence cannot be quantified. And if anyone ever doubted him, he would just point at you and say that you had him beat everywhere despite what any number might have to say otherwise.

Case and point. you had been talking to him about something very important and thoughtful and he had been zoning out the entire time.

"I um,–– what?"

You shake your head and gesture to his gun once more. "Show me your form again."

He takes his gun hesitantly, but readies himself the same way he did earlier. The only exception being that his finger isn't on the trigger.

He hears that telltale, almost bored, 'hm' of yours before you speak again.

"Tuck your chest in."

He's read countless firearm manuals and instructions and he's never heard of that before.

"I'm sorry?"

"Tuck your chest in." You say it again, but it's still not making sense to him.

Unable to voice or even act upon his confusion, he watches as you wait with an impassive face before asking,

"Can I touch you?" He lets out a shaky, but immediate 'yes' and you move to stand beside him.

Given your calm and nonchalant demeanor, he anticipates a more impersonal touch. For lack of a better word. He expects a shove. Maybe a push, to correct him into the right place.

So when your hand comes to softly rest on his stomach, fingers splaying across the expanse of his undefined abdominal muscles, he feels his breath hitch. Upper body slightly crumpling in on himself as he does.

He's surprised he hasn't dropped his gun.

"Dr. Reid,"

He's also surprised that his heart hasn't stopped. With how you said his name, and how close you are– he can already feel your soft breath gracing his ear–

"You're an autodidact, aren't you?"

A self-taught person, he thinks.

"I–– I am." Curse his shaky voice.

"You know, there are some things that can't be learned by just reading textbooks and looking at diagrams."

He feels you tap his stomach and he suddenly feels hot.

"Feel this?" He feels you engulfing his senses, that's for sure. But he nods slowly.

"Remember it. Your center of gravity is different from the subjects in those graphics. So the form you need to take is likewise different."

And just like that, all too quick for his liking, you move away. Hand leaving him just like whatever depraved thought might've been running around his head.

He hesitantly looks back at you, and you gesture to his gun again. Noticing how your free hand is resting on the gun in your holster.

A Glock 19, he remembers.

"Go ahead and shoot like that now."

He does, in the same way that he's compelled to follow your voice like always–

Front sight, trigger press, follow through.

And fires three shots.

To his surprise, he manages to shoot the target's chest. Not quite centered, he admits, but its a vast improvement from his previous attempts.

"I– I did it." He feels the disbelief on his face when he looks at you again. He's expecting you to look just as shocked as he does. After all, you saw just how egregious his aim was. So it surprises him when he turns and is greeted instead with the small smile on your face.

Not the same polite smile that you usually give when you're at work, no. It was a soft, genuine smile, or so he thinks.

"I never doubted your capabilities, Dr. Reid."

He beams under your praise. Blooming like a flower under the warm radiance of the Sun. Once again subject to that brain-freezing sensation from a few weeks ago.

If he just remembers everything you told him today, which wasn't a lot, he theoretically should pass his firearm qualifications with no problem.

And maybe, just maybe, he'll get to see you smile at him again.

After all, he had always wanted for you to look at him. Actually look at him.

Maybe if he passes his test this time, you will.

----

The following day, he doesn’t pass his test.

And he is much more embarrassed now than he ever was before. 

He returns to the bullpen with his head down. Already expecting everyone to know of his failure.

He really didn't want to see if you were one of the ones that had been looking at him.

What he doesn't see is that you were.

But you weren't disappointed at all. You wanted nothing more than to reassure him. To tell him that you could always help him again, and that you didn't mind the extra work if it weren't for the stares that you had been getting back.

Seemingly turning your what-would've-been act of friendship and care into an expectation and responsibility.

"Make a wish!"

"Come on, man. Blow, baby, blow!"

"I thought you were full of hot air, Reid."

"They're trick candles, Spence, okay? They–– They're going to come back on every time."

While Spencer is glad that he’s spending his birthday with actual people, there's one in particular that he's missing.

He also feels sort of embarrassed that he's having a full-on birthday at his workplace. Though he is very thankful that his friends care about him enough to do this.

"Hope you like chocolate." JJ says with a laugh and he is only now recognizing the cake. Previously too caught up in blowing out the undying flames to even notice the festive dessert that supported them.

"Where's the cake from?" The blonde only gives him a look that he can't quite understand, but he is immediately distracted when he feels a draft from where Hotch passes by him.

He looks in the direction he came from and lo and behold, he found the very person he was missing.

He gets up, wanting to at least get a greeting from you, but he's interrupted by Gideon asking him something before he can even try.

"You having fun?"

He knows that he's asking him, but he can also see how his eyes aren't quite addressing him back. Instead, looking up a few inches above him.

He gives a tight lip smile when he realizes just what he's looking at.

God, he felt pathetic.

“Yes, definitely. I am definitely– having fun.” 

"Make a wish?" He asks another question and that’s when Spencer sees what he's doing now.

Ever since he first exhibited signs of interest in you, he knew that his mentor would be the first to clock them. He couldn't even hide it if he tried. If there was anyone on the team that he knew would figure it out this quick, it would've been him.

He expected it.

What he didn't expect was for Gideon to show disapproval for it.

For you.

Back during the Arizona case, he remembers how Gideon had interrupted you when you were explaining something. And that's when he realized you were going to have a hard time.

You were going to have a hard time because of his own rapidly growing interest.

Because he froze when you said one nice thing about him, then proceeded to wow him with your observational skills.

He didn't want Gideon to think that you were being a distraction to him, so he instead chose to show just how well the two of you had worked together. Even going as far as to double down and reiterate your statements to convince him of that.

And it seemed to have worked, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Can I take this hat off?"

He wanted nothing more than to do just that before you notice him, but his mentor just shook his head.

"I wouldn't."

He doesn't know it's because Gideon knew you found it cute.

By the time that he notices the elder doesn't really care about the conversation anymore, probably too distracted by the TV behind him, his gaze finally focuses on you.

The very person that he had intended to talk to.

The one he intended to talk the entire time before he got sidetracked.

You still hadn't turned to look at him though, or make an attempt to greet him. Not even a laugh to mock him for the huge, 'Happy Birthday' hat that sat on his head to make him look like a dunce!

Instead, you were staring at something. Or rather, someone.

He turns his head to look just where you were and there he sees his unit chief, your mentor, on the receiving end of your intense gaze.

Just like always.

He shakes his head and decides to just go talk to you, but he is once again interrupted. This time by Hotch with a solemn expression on his face.

“Sorry guys. Party’s over.”

You immediately spring into action at his words, completely missing his hand that was just about to come up to wave at you. He tightens his lips into a thin smile.

Spencer's starting to doubt Morgan and Elle's words.

–––––––––––––

The sentiment is rectified when he finally receives the one thing he had been looking forward to on his birthday, and it wasn't the gift.

Not even the greeting.

It was being able to be in your presence. Being able to spend time with you. The you that wasn't so stressed or strict about work, or the case, or your boss.

It was just him and you. You and him. And the scarf that seemed to warm him just as much as his heart warmed at the sight of your smiling face.

God, what he would do to have this with you forever.

Spencer is well aware that likes you.

Hell, even the rest of team knows it by now, but he's starting to fear that his unconscious mind is more aware of that than his conscious one.

Case and point, he had been having dreams.

Nightmares, actually.

Nightmares that he can't help but think will happen if he takes his eyes off of you for even a second.

Morgan had asked him earlier when he was making coffee if something was causing him to lose sleep. If you had been causing him to lose sleep, he had asked with a teasing smirk.

And while normally he would've flushed and stumbled at his implication that a night of you had been keeping him up, he admits to what's been plaguing his mind.

Naturally, he doesn't tell him the full nature of his night terrors. But his friend doesn't need him to. Not with the way that his eyes try to find yours every chance he gets, focus going in and out of the conversation like an adjusting lens.

Spencer fears that one day, no matter how strong or smart or clever you are, it's his negligence that'll place you on the receiving end of a killer's weapon.

And that there's nothing that he can do to stop them from landing the finishing blow.

He knows that it's not rational, but he also knows that dreams are rarely, if not never, rational. Studies show that around seventy to eighty-percent of dreams contain bizarre or irrational elements. This included unusual settings, impossible scenarios, and illogical developments to be featured in the unconscious brain.

Doesn't mean that he's alright with seeing it so often, though.

What's worse is that he knows that it can very much happen during the BAU cases. And that he can't even prepare himself for that scenario.

He's practically deadweight on the field with his still erratic aim and bambi legs, he's surprised you aren't sick of him yet.

He laughs a bit at the thought. Clutching a portion of his scarf—the only thing that has been keeping the nightmares at bay— as he promises himself that he won't leave your side.

Especially not in the confounding forest of McAllister, Virginia.

Which is why he's stuck in his current position.

“Dr. Reid, I need you to check back downhill and see if the deputies have returned.” He looks at you incredulously.

“What? No! I can’t leave you here– ” 

He doesn't know what exactly you found in the abandoned house, but he knew that it wasn't wise to leave you with no one but a high schooler.

You might think he's not all that different from the kid, but he's at least trained to be an FBI agent.

“We need the rest of the sheriffs and the crime scene team here.”

You looked dead into his eyes, yet he still didn't relent. No matter how reasonable your request was.

In any other situation, he might've thought you were cool. That you were handling the situation like a natural, and that you were very responsible for taking charge when he was there with his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

But he didn't want to leave you. Not when you looked like you've just seen a ghost.

He grasped your shoulders, firmly but gently, and practically begged for you to come with him.

Stating that what you were feeling was a completely normal physiological response. That your body was sending neropinephrine to your brain to help regulate the stress and compensate for whatever was happening inside of you and that it would be safer to stay together––

But when he sees you ice him out– concealing all remaining traces of shock or fear or worry– he freezes.

His eyes raked across your features, biding his time. Committing every micro-reaction, every hair out of place, every faux-calm movement of your eyes before he had to let you go with a nod. Leaving hurriedly to find anyone that can help and constantly looking back at you to assure his consciousness that you were fine, and that you would be fine.

When he saw that the other sheriff wasn't there yet, much less anyone for that matter, he immediately went back. Running uphill fast to get to you.

To make sure that you were alright, that you were alive, and that no one was coming to hurt you.

Which is how he found himself here.

Gun held to his head by the very high schooler that, he thought, wouldn't have been of help if another dangerous person had shown up.

When you raised your hands and dropped your gun in surrender, he was scared of what would happen to you both if he didn't act quick.

But he was even more scared of what could happen to you if he doesn't talk his way out.

Fast.

So that's what he did.

––––––––––

He didn't get to check on you, he realizes.

He knew you were able to knock the kid out, he was there when he helped you distract him, but he must’ve been wheezing because he was the first one to get ushered out and checked on.

He wants to tell them to check on you. That you had landed pretty badly when the unsub was able to push you back, but he can hardly even hear his own thoughts.

The siren of the police car, the medic talking to him, the rest of the team discussing the case's outcome, and his own heart in his ears were simply too much for him.

By the time that things had settled down, he notices that you still aren't there with him. He worries and whips his head around wildly before his eyes find yours already looking at him.

Doing so with an expression of regret or grief etched onto your face.

He sighs in relief, and gives you the best smile he can give to assure you that he's okay despite having been worried sick.

He needed you to know that he was fine. That it wasn’t your fault. That he was glad you're okay too.

That he was so impressed with what you had done despite the circumstances, and that you had handled the situation way better than he knew anyone on the team ever could.

So when you seem to turn away from him, he briefly wonders if something was actually wrong.

He tries to look back on what might've happened. Wonders if there's something he didn't see when he came back, or when he was away––

And that's when he realizes something.

Could he have put you in more danger when he came back to check on you? That he had accidentally sabotaged your takedown?

He sighs. He must've looked so pathetic in front of you getting grabbed like that–– but he's not sorry.

He had been doing that for your safety and for his own peace of mind–– he wasn't going to apologize for caring about you.

He'll make it up to you somehow.

The next time you go on another case together, which you two inevitably will, he'll make it up to you.

That, he promises.

He actually doesn't get to work with you again. So he decides that he can make it up to you by narrowing down the unsub's identity.

In fact, he hasn't seen you at all since the team first arrived at the crime scene.

You had been working with Hotch and Morgan on more field operations, leaving him with Elle and Penelope doing background checks on possible suspects. And while he wasn't with you, he'd like to think that he's still enjoying the company.

Well, that's what he would like to think.

He has no problems working with Elle. She was a nice colleague that seemed to occasionally humor his rants and got the job done quickly. And Penelope was someone that the both of you really got along with. Occasionally having this back and forth unique to the three of you.

But they weren't you.

Still. What he thought about you can wait later. He still has to think about his escape route if the two break out into a fight.

Right now, the three of them had staked out one Michael Russo who they anticipated would call his hitman, the suspected Unsub. They were hoping to get a name from what they could pick up from his end of the call, and they did.

Problem was,

"Russo's got eleven associates named Vincent." Spencer raised his brows at that.

Vincent is a name of Latin origins. He shouldn't be surprised that the mob had a handful of people with that name, but it was kind of too on the nose at this point.

"Oh, make that ten. Vincent Cellito died last summer. But here's something––Vincent Sartori."

He really wants to find this guy, so he chooses to keep looking through the list. Ignoring the growing tension between the two girls.

"Currently doing six at Dannemora for racketeering."

Spencer then speaks up again, "How about this Perotta? There's not much on him."

Garcia makes quick work to pull up what seemed to be deleted records and that's where they find something interesting.

"Alcohol addiction at 14, violent outbursts, assaults,–– Once threw a Molotov cocktail at someone sitting in their car." She can't believe what she's reading.

"Several notations for aggression," He adds, but this is where he sees something truly wrong.

"He once scheduled a visit to an infirmary to gain access to a–– boy who looked at him for too long?"

He really didn't want to meet this guy.

"No fear, no remorse, quick temper. And he was smart enough to stay off the radar as an adult," Elle interprets. "Paranoid personality. Could be our guy."

And he really didn't want you to meet him either.

All the evidence is stacking up against him though, so you just might have to. He just wished that nothing bad would happen when you did.

––––––––––

While right now they weren't sure if he was the unsub, he was definitely someone who fit their profile. He saw some LEO's bring in a guy who had essentially been cuffed at every limb, accompanied by Hotch and Gideon, but he had yet to see the others.

He sees Morgan, who is walking alongside Elle (she went to see what all the commotion was about) but with who he sees next, he feels his stomach drop. Heart rate spiking in contrast to an all time high that he's practically sure he has tachycardia.

"What happened to you!?"

He got up from his seat to run over but you just shake your head.

You had come back with your clothes and hair in disarray, a bleeding nose, and a a busted lip. A complete disparity to the normally clean-cut and professional look that you had strived to maintain.

Even when you had been tackled to the ground a few cases back, the damage wasn't nearly as bad as this.

It's Derek that answers his question for him though.

"Perotta hit your girl up in the head, Reid." He chooses to ignore the joke. Too worried as he tries to check on your head but you just softly squeeze his hands to reassure him before you push them away.

Still not looking at him as you finally speak.

"It wasn't that bad. He hesitated. It could've been worse."

He doesn't like your answer.

If you had just been hit in the head and yet your nose is bleeding, that was a clear sign of a concussion. And the cut on your lip had to be from a fall. On asphalt or onto another material, it didn't matter to him since both are just as bad.

As he expresses that, you just tell him to drop it and then move away from him.

Before he can say more however, Hotch comes back into the room with his usually stern expression. A bit of worry lacing his tone, Spencer notes, as he orders you.

"Go home."

He's staring you down, but it seemed you had a lot more to say to that.

"Sir Hotchner, I would be of much more use in here. It is imperative that all available resources are focused on the retrieval of James Baker." He sighs because you're right, but that doesn't seem enough to satisfy you.

The boy-genius hates it when you use reason to get your way.

"Fine. Help Reid and the others with the evidence. We can narrow down his area of operation from there. They should be arriving soon."

You shake your head adamantly. "Sir, I can handle the interrogation--"

"No you can't!"

Spencer surprises himself with his outburst, but you don't even turn to look at him.

It's Hotch that gives him a very pointed stare though before continuing,

"Reid is right, agent. We'll handle the interrogation, so please busy yourself here." He says it with a finality that is indicative of his departure but you stop him one last time. Hand going up to rest on your mentor's collar.

He sees you gesture to your own, and Spencer hears an intention in your voice that he can't quite understand.

"Let's not give him a weapon, sir. He's pretty strong."

He sees his boss nod, and he takes off his tie. Putting the cloth into your awaiting hand, and you grip it out of instinct.

Reid zones out as he sees this interaction in disbelief. Did you normally touch the others like this?

You had completely brushed off his concern, not even looking at him. And yet when it was your unit chief that told you to do so, you had simply followed?

He thought he was starting to become an exception to you, but had he been reading the signs wrong? It could very much be a possibility as he was never good at doing so.

Even later when he had been sifting through the bags from the suspect's van, you still didn't respond to him. Even going as far as to ignoring Penelope's offer to watch the tapes they had found in Perotta's van. Shaking your head, 'no' with a faraway look in your eyes.

Just what had exactly happened while he wasn't by your side?

At this point, Spencer’s convinced that you would never like him.

If not for you having eyes on literally anyone else but him, then definitely because he had disappointed you. Desecrated the honor that came with being an FBI agent.

Just because he had been distracted.

A whirlwind of emotions had been flurrying inside him since the very beginning of this case, but he swears that he had never meant for this.

He doesn't even remember how it happened. Which baffled him, given his memory. But he thinks it's because he couldn't have cared less about the past few hours.

He had been stuck babysitting Lila only because you had told him so. Entrusted him with her because you thought that he was the best person to guard her, to comfort her.

He didn’t know it was because you had a feeling he’d be safer by her side.

And some part of him was flattered that you had said all this about him. Especially when all Lila would hear from him were endless praises of your name, of your work, and your caring nature.

But another part of him felt ignored. Pushed aside.

He doesn't know when it had happened, but Hotch had stopped pairing you together some cases ago. Saying something about you needing physical training, though he sincerely doubted that.

He thought that things were going well between you two. He had just been trying to find the perfect window where you would see him in a good enough light.

A good enough light that would make you say 'yes' to going on a date with him.

He didn't even care that the pretty blonde was interested in him. He only agreed because you stressed her safety more than any other target thus far. But the attention that she was giving him?

That was all that he wanted from you.

All he'd been wanting for months.

And when he had kissed her, all he could think about was you. How it would've felt if it was you in his arms, how you would react if it had been you that he was touching.

But then immediately after, how you would react to him kissing another girl.

God, he was pathetic.

He knew that you had been having a hard time lately. And he also knew that it had a lot to do with your work, how he did his, and his safety. That was all you ever stressed about when you were with him.

If he was safe.

You'd think he'd learn that by now, but he hasn't. Which is why even when he knew all this, his heart still ached as he sees you cry into Morgan's arms. Sobbing like no tomorrow. All because of something he did.

All because he took all your hard work, that had been focused on keeping him alive, and essentially throwing it right back at your face.

His negligence did that.

And he supposes that now, he can't do anything to get into your good graces anymore. Not when Derek Morgan seemed to better at doing his job as a federal agent, and his job as your friend.

When he finally gets changed into dry clothes and enters Lila's house, he doesn't miss the way that you turn from him. He also doesn't miss the glare the other agent was giving him. Nor the careful hand that had been rubbing up and down your arm.

Something that he wished he could've been doing instead.

––––––––––

God, he wanted to be anywhere but here, considering this is where it all went downhill.

"Did you give Lila Archer a collage?" Gideon had started the interrogation, so even if he did want to leave, he couldn't.

"What?"

"There's a photographic collage above Lila Archer's sofa. She says you gave it to her."

But the faster that they could get this done, the faster he could apologize to you.

"So? I didn't make the damn thing." Parker had laughed out, clearly not comprehending the severity of the situation.

"So you just happened to give her a work of art containing most of her life in it?" Spencer pushed but was surprised to see his ex-classmate seemingly have no recollection of the situation at all.

Something was wrong.

If it wasn't him, then who––?

"I––no, no. Look, I lied. I just wanted her to like me. I met her here, and she was a fan of art. Someone gave me the piece to give to her, but I told her it was from me."

It can't be––

"I said I found it, and I thought she'd love it."

"And who gave it to you?" Morgan had finally asked.

"Her name's Maggie Lowe. She uh––She works on Lila's show."

When Spencer hears this, he immediately goes to call you on his phone. Maggie Lowe had gone to Juilliard with Lila and was the production assistant that he swore he saw go in and out of her trailer.

If he wasn't so distracted, he would've fucking noticed that.

But his phone doesn't even ring for a few moments before the call is declined.

What the fuck was happening?

Before he could ask anyone else, he heard Derek speak up.

“Sweet girl, listen to me. We have a name, and it’s ‘Maggie Lowe.’ We’re on our wa—" Spencer tries to talk to you through Morgan's phone, but is knocked off balance when the man turns around in shock.

"Christ man—we're on our way back over there, okay? Stay put and we’ll let Hotch and JJ know.” 

"Let me talk to her!" He practically begs, but before anyone could even understand what he was saying, the call is ended from your side.

"Reid, what the hell were you trying to do?"

He's shocked at his own actions too, but that's not what's on his mind right now.

"She dropped my call but she answered yours? And since when did you start calling her that?"

He knew it wasn't fair, especially after what he had done, but just when did you and him happen?

"Since you started being a dumbass. Get over yourself, kid."

Everyone then started making their way to the two SUV's parked outside, but Spencer took the one that Morgan was driving.

He wasn't done with this conversation.

He tries to call you again, but this time, it looks like the line is busy. What was going on, where were you? He tries Lila's phone, even though he's sure she won't pick up and nothing either.

He has half a mind to ask Morgan to call you, in case you were just being petty and ignoring him, but he feels his phone vibrate. He suddenly hears his phone ring, and he hurriedly answers without checking the caller ID.

Hoping that it would be you on the other hand as he called out your name.

"Nope, sorry hon, it's me." It was Garcia's voice, but it sounded like she was shaking. Sensing the urgency in her voice, he instinctively puts his phone on speaker.

"Reid, I need you to listen to me very carefully— I've already alerted officials in the area, but your unsub? Is in Lila Archer's house."

You can't keep doing this, he thinks. You can't keep scaring him like this, because he's starting to feel so sick.

He looks to his friend in the driver's seat and sees him nod when they make eye contact. Speeding up as they thank Penelope before she ended the call.

At this point, he could care less with how pathetic he might've looked. No longer caring about how uncool you thought he was, or whatever might've been going on between you and Morgan, or if you still had a crush on your boss— none of that.

They had left you behind with Lila and no one else.

Spencer had always feared that one day, no matter how strong or smart or clever you are, it's his negligence that'll place you on the receiving end of a killer's weapon. And that there's nothing that he can do to stop them from landing the finishing blow.

If the reason you were alone and held captive by some psychotic shooter was because he had pissed you off enough to even dismiss his help?

He might never forgive himself for it.

When they arrive, he immediately gets out of the car. Ready to run in and ambush Maggie by himself if he has to when Lila runs into his arms. Holding a gun in her hand as if it were a bomb.

A Glock 19 that he's seen you use since his first official cases on the team.

He notices Morgan, Elle, and Gideon were already out, but Hotch and JJ have still yet to arrive.

He knows that he should wait until further instructions. That there wasn't a protocol for this specific situation. Or maybe there was, but his IQ of 187 had always been slashed down to 60 whenever you were involved.

When he hears a gun fire from inside the house, he's the first one that starts running.

He's thankful that he wasn't alone when he did though.

By the time that Maggie had been apprehended, you were already well on your way to the nearest hospital. According to the clock from inside your room, and the news report that had been playing, a full twelve hours at the very least had passed since then.

You tried to remember what had happened. Tried to remember how you screamed for help once you had subdued her. How she shot you when you tackled her.

Probably with the intention to kill you, then herself had you not talked her out of it.

You groan as you feel the blooming pain in your side. Probably from the GSW that you're going to have to note in your action report.

And then you remembered how you realized what you felt for Spencer and the rest of the team.

You shake your head despondently.

When you look back on every situation where you had essentially put yourself on the line for his sake, you notice that you had really been doing that out of your own volition.

That you had been doing it because you didn't want him getting hurt.

You just didn't like that the the team was turning it into some sort of responsibility.

And sure. Maybe the others were complicit in pairing you up, or guilty for giving you odd looks, but they probably wouldn't have done that if it wasn't something you were already going to do.

God, you felt so pathetic.

You don't think you can handle looking at Spencer now. Not after your existential crisis, and certainly not after what you said before he left.

But luck has a way, so it seems, to constantly elude you.

You note this as you see the very man that you had been thinking of slowly opening the door and perking up when he sees your eyes on him.

Well, as perked up as he could be. Given the circumstances.

"How uh—, How are you? A-Are you...okay?"

You take in how he looks when he asks. Dark rings encircling his eyes, (he had been up all night waiting for you), usually neat hair in a mess (he had been running his hands through them nonstop), and shirt all crumpled from being hunched over for so long (a different one, because he just couldn't stand the vague scent on chlorine in his old one.)

Your heart sinks at the sight and you beckon him closer with your strong hand. Echoing his question.

"Are you okay, Dr. Reid?"

He lets out a shaky breath when he finally hears your soft voice again, slowly approaching you as he does. He was so worried that the last words he would hear from you would be your disappointment, but he persists.

"Can you please answer the question? I don't like it when you pretend like you're okay when you're obviously not."

His hand finds its way to trace little patterns on the back of yours. Occasionally looking up at to see if he was hurting you, before continuing when he sees that he isn't. Feeling too shy to do anything more.

You roll your eyes at the gesture. Flipping his hand to rest on the hospital bed and slipping yours on top of his. Giving it a soft squeeze.

"I could be better." You then squeeze his hand again. "Is this what you were trying to do?"

He thinks for a while, as if not really understanding your question, before nodding vigorously.

You smile at the sight but then feel your regret from a few hours ago come rushing back.

"I'm really sorry. For...everything." You don't think he knows what you're apologizing for, but you do it anyway.

If not now, when?

Spencer laughs a little at that but shakes his head. "Morgan told me about what you said. Back at Lila's. Well, more like he told everyone while we were waiting for you to wake up."

You nod. Suddenly feeling guilty for trying to make contact so you try to let go, but he only entangles your fingers once more. Intertwining them as much as he can since this is the closest that he can afford to have you right now.

He feels his lips tightening into a thin smile before he says what's been haunting him for the past few hours.

"I'm sorry that you had to deal with me for so long. I never meant to burden you like that or make your job harder."

"No, Spencer please," you start, rubbing the only part of his hand that you could reach with your thumb.

"You were never a burden. I was just—caught up in a bunch of things."

He doesn't miss how your usual eloquence evades you. Which gives him a bit of an idea as to how unscripted and vulnerable you were being with him right now.

And as much as he should hate this for you, he'd love it if you would learn to be a bit more vulnerable in front of him. Even if it was a departure from your usually starched blazers, pressed blouses, and clean-cut exterior.

He still thought you were cool just like this.

"Have I ever told you that I thought you were really cool?" You weakly snort at that.

"If by 'cool,' you mean constantly worrying about how everything could go wrong, then yeah. I'm super cool."

He shakes his head at that, but it looked like you weren't done.

"I think you looked cooler, though. Especially when you were next to the pool trying to dry your gun. You looked like a wet rat."

He groans at the mention but you continue to tease him.

"Hey, you were a handsome wet rat. Still a rat, but... you know. From Vegas. Arguably not as bad as the ones from New York. Now though, you're a handsome dry rat."

Now that, he just wines at. You weren't being fair.

How could you make him go through all this and then say that?

Did you know what kind of effect you have on him?

The two of you continue to sling back jokes at the other, a common thing you used to do before things went south. And just enjoying each other's presence.

Holding his hand as you absentmindedly started massaging it. He didn't even notice how his hand had been shaking since the moment you first held onto it.

He was so so glad you were alive. That you were still here, with him. And there's no place he would rather be than where you were.

"So. How about you start telling me what you've been up to while I've been knocked out, hm? What have you learned, genius?"

He's learned a quite a lot, while you were away.

He learned that he should probably encourage you to have more breaks. Learned that you should both talk to each other, and everyone, a bit more. And he learned that you two weren't so different after all.

He's also learned how much he really liked your smile, your laugh, your soft touch, and the way that his name fell from your lips.

He doesn't tell you any of this, however.

Opting to instead tell you about the numerous facts he's picked up during the case, and how much he hated Hollywood.

[a/n] And with that, this marks the end of this specific timeline! I've honestly loved writing with this reader's specific personality in mind, and I'm looking forward to how she'll mellow out when she learns to be more honest.

I have a few ideas for one shots regarding this specific dynamic, but if you enjoyed it as much as I did, please tell me what you thought about this short series! And if you have any idea on what you'd like to see next from these dumbasses, send an ask my way!

Thank you so much for liking them thus far.

Like my work? Consider tipping me!!

[toxicanonymity]

i had dream about this lol. reader is naive/innocent/virgin, they know about sex but not much about masturbation. reader tells joel that they’ve been having this problem at night (usually) where they get all hot and achey down there. joel’s like well i know a way you can fix that feeling!! hopefully this isn’t too outrageous, i just love perv!joel lololll

Aches

900 / Joel x virgin!Reader / joel master

✨ prequel: fires | sequel: thoughts

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni, big girthy age gap (20/50s) only one sleeping bag. fingering, grinding. mention of Joel being a girl dad.

You can't sleep.  You scoot your lower body forward and away from Joel's crotch.  

"You okay, sweetie?" 

Not really, but you don't know how to talk to him about it.  You’ve been sharing a sleeping bag with Joel ever since yours was lost in a scuffle.  Joel's is big enough for both of you, but barely.  You’re settled in against him with your head on his bicep trying to get to sleep, but he was poking into you again, and it makes you ache.  The feeling between your legs is so distracting, so overwhelming you can't sleep.  

It seizes you and won’t let you relax, but you don’t know what to do about it.  You’re a grown woman, of course you’ve tingled before, felt the warmth between your legs, thought about sex, hoped to have it one day.  But this aching, throbbing feeling worries you.  It’s so beyond anything you’ve ever felt before.  It's extreme and sometimes it hurts. You worry something has happened to you from sleeping so rough, not having the right products people used to have for their periods.

The feeling is at its worst when his dick gets hard and presses up against you.  That makes you suspect it's sexual. But you never learned how to get yourself off, and it's too late now.

"Um, yeah," you whisper. "I'm okay."

You squirm uncomfortably and dig a hand between your legs just to stay there.  

"What's wrong honey?" 

You sigh. "I just feel funny, that's all. You can't help. It's girl stuff."

"Now, hold on. Gimme some credit. I was a girl dad remember?  You havin' cramps?"  He gently rubs your lower belly, making the throbbing between your legs even worse.  

"No, not like that," you groan.  

He lifts his head up and gets more serious. "What's goin' on, sweetie? Where's it hurt?" 

Your face burns as you start to try to tell him. "In the front between my legs." 

His breath hitches.  "What's it feel like?" 

"It just aches and tingles and feels like a lot of pressure." 

He inhales deeply. "Anything else that goes with it?"

"I get wet," you say. "But I don't think it's like normal. This is really a lot, and I'm afraid something's wrong." 

He's quiet for a moment. "Nothin's wrong with you, baby," he murmurs. "Imma try somethin', okay? Tell me if this makes it worse or better."

"Okay." You're desperate.  Plus, you've been traveling with him for weeks and you're past the point of modesty.

He nestles in behind you and grinds his hard cock into your ass. "Worse or better?" 

"Worse, worse." 

"Okay, now we know what the problem is. It's just tension, baby. Built up pressure. Your body's reactin' to mine."

"Okay. . ."

"Just gotta relieve that pressure. It's okay, we all do it. I can give ya some space if ya want" 

Your heart rate speeds up.  He must assume you know how. "I don't do that," you whisper. 

"Ya gotta. Not gonna go away on its own, sweetie."

"I never figured out how. maybe something's wrong with me"

"Nothin's wrong with ya sweetie." He's quiet for a moment then he strokes your abdomen reassuringly. His hand finds yours between your legs. "Want some help?" He asks. 

"Um, alright." 

You move your hand out of the way and Joel's replaces it, first feeling you over your underwear. He whistles silently when he feels how wet you are. Then he slides his hand into your waistband.  "This okay?"

"Yeah." 

He backs up and urges you to lie down flat on your back.  His hand wedges between your thighs and you move them apart, making space. He watches you watch his hand. He bypasses your clit to wetten his fingers with your arousal. "This okay?" He asks and you nod. 

His middle finger prods at your entrance "can I go in?"  You nod again. 

He scoots up and presses his hard cock into your hip as he swirls his finger, then inserts it to the first knuckle and your mouth falls open with the intrusion. "Real tight," he mutters. 

"What's that mean?"

"Nothin', baby."

He proceeds to insert his whole finger, then adds another.  He slides his fingers through your folds then finds your clit and begins to rub wet circles. "Tell me when it feels right," he says. 

He tries a few angles, speeds, and techniques until one really hits the spot and you say "that."

"Good girl." 

He rubs you just how you like. "Now if you wanna touch your nipple or somethin', sometimes that helps, too." 

You slide a hand under your shirt and lightly caress your breast. You feel your lower belly heating up, you're getting more tense but also feeling so good with his hand between your legs.  He grinds himself into you as he fingers you and watches your spine begin to arch. 

"Come on, sweetie. Let it happen."

You whine from the pressure. "Joel, I - I don't know how"

"Sure ya do, baby just let go, let it happen," his voice is soothing and low. 

You whine again and pinch your eyes shut. 

"I know baby, you're almost there;" 

A few more strokes and you see stars.  You ride massive waves of pleasure and relief. It feels so good you cry. 

"Shhh, it's okay, baby. I got you."  He caresses your face. "You're okay, I got you, sweetie." He presses a kiss to your temple.

SEQUEL: Thoughts

-

Thank you so much for reading. I always love your comments 🥹🙏

If you're into innocent readers, there's more where this came from. . . My ongoing series Left in Lincoln has an innocent, naive, virgin reader. And my master list has a virgin section lol.

-

[hayleythesugarbowl]

your spencer fic actually knocked the breath out of my lungs can you please do like some sort of continuation?? first dates, learning each other better, waking up in each other's arms, tracing tattoos??

Cool Shoes: Part 2 || Spencer Agnew x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • part 1 ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: now that you’ve both admitted your feelings for each other, spencer takes you out on your first official date

word count: 2.8k

warnings: implied smut, innuendos

a/n: we’re back baby! you guys liked cool shoes and i’m so grateful for all of the love i’ve gotten on that post 🤭 so i give you part two. really hoping this doesn’t fall victim to sequel syndrome lmk what you think!!

<— previous part •  some more spencer fics —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And here we are. Prepare to have your mind blown.”

     Spencer gestured to a Famous Footwear building, stopping you both in front of it.

     You hadn’t known where he was taking you—until now. 

     “I can’t believe you were serious about the shoe store thing,” you put your hands on your hips.

     “And what made you think I don’t take footwear seriously?”

     “Exhibit A,” you gestured to the shoes he was wearing.

     “I thought you said they were cool,” he pouted.

     “I just said that cause I thought you were cute, remember?” You told him.

     “Yeah, I know,” Spencer beamed, “I just wanted to hear you say it again.”

     You whacked him in the arm.

     This was your first official date with Spencer and you still had no idea what you were actually doing—assuming the shoe thing was just an elaborate joke. Spencer had just told you that your destination was a surprise and that you’d just have to wait and see. 

     It had been a week since you’d asked Spencer out and you had been looking forward to this evening ever since. 

     Now, you turned to him, crossing your arms. 

     “Ok, but seriously—do you wanna tell me where we’re actually going?”

     “Not particularly,” Spencer shrugged, starting to walk away. 

     “Spencer,” you whined, jogging to catch up to him.

     “Alright fine,” he held up his arms, “Come on.”

     He held out his hand and you took it, walking down the sidewalk past restaurants and office buildings.

    Suddenly, Spencer let go of your hand and placed both his hands over your eyes.

     “Ok, almost there,” he said, guiding you a few feet forwards. 

     He stopped walking and lifted his hands from your face. “Ta-da!”

     You were standing in front of a cute cafe. One you recognized.

     “I know you said you always wanted to try this place, so I thought we’d check it out,” he said, “If that’s okay with you.”

     You were touched that he had even remembered you mentioning the cafe. You smiled at him. “That’s great with me.” 

     Spencer opened the door for you and you walked towards the counter, eyeing the menu immediately.

     A barista appeared from the back, “Hey, welcome in! What can I get started for you two?”

     “I’ll have the—” You started.

     “Wait, let me guess!” Spencer stopped you, looking at the menu thoughtfully. “Macchiato?”

     “Cappuccino,” you corrected, telling the barista before turning to Spencer. “But nice try.”

     “Well, I’ll have a macchiato,” Spencer ordered. “Because unlike you, I have taste.”

     The woman rang up your total and Spencer got out his wallet. 

     “Let me at least pay for half,” you started. 

     “No, no,” Spencer batted your hand away, giving the barista his card. “You save that for decent sneakers.”

      Spencer finished paying and you walked over to find a table, Spencer right behind you.

      You had only been sitting down a moment when the barista brought your drinks to the table, setting the coffee mugs down before turning back to walk away.

     She mouthed ‘he’s cute’ as she passed you, a smile of encouragement on her face.

     You couldn’t argue there. Spencer did look really freaking cute. He had on a light purple button down with a denim jacket over it, his pants a darker shade of denim, obviously putting effort into his appearance for this date.

     You couldn’t believe he did all this for you. It was still so surreal.

     “So,” Spencer began, taking a sip of his coffee. “Let’s talk work on Monday. I sent a raw copy of the schedule for for next show, and I’m going to need you to finalize that.”

     You groaned, even though you knew he was only teasing. “Can we not talk about work right now?” 

     “What kind of boss would I be if I didn’t encourage my employees work ethic?”

     “The kind that goes out with his assistant,” you said. 

     “Fair point. What do you wanna talk about then since work is off the table?”

     “Well,” you started, “I guess we cold get to know each other better. It is a first date, after all.”

     You’d known Spencer for a month or so now, but there was still a lot you didn’t know about him. And vice-versa.

      “Ok,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

     “Alright,” you thought. “What color is your toothbrush?”

     Spencer snorted. “What kind of first date question is that?”

     “Don’t tell me you don’t own one?” 

     “It’s green,” he answered. 

     “I think you’re lying,” you took a sip of your coffee. “You totally don’t own a toothbrush.”

     “Hey, I’ll prove it to you if you’d like,” he raised his arms, “I have nothing to hide.”

     “Prove it to me how?” You crossed your arms. 

     “I’ll show you later,” he paused. “When we head back to my place.”

     Spencer looked down at the table, playing with the handle on his coffee mug.

     Your pulse picked up ever-so-slightly. You hadn’t even considered that you’d be going anywhere after this. Especially to Spencer’s.

     Not that you didn’t want to. You’d been planning on meeting him there for a work project later that week anyways. But this felt…different. More intimate, somehow.

     “I look forward to it,” you answered finally. 

     Spencer looked relieved that you didn’t oppose the going-to-his-place plan.

     “Alright, your turn. Ask away,” you told Spencer, leaning back in your chair.

     “What are you looking for in a relationship right now?”

     “Ok, are you just trying to make me look bad for the toothbrush question?” You crossed your arms.

     “I genuinely want to know,” Spencer defended. “And maybe a little bit.”

     You giggled, thinking of your answer. What were you looking for in a relationship? You really liked Spencer, and you wanted this date to turn into many more dates.  

     “Well, I’d like to see where this goes,” you answered honestly. “And I could definitely see being in a long-term relationship with you.”

     “Good,” Spencer smiled at you shyly, “Because I don’t mean to pull a Ted Mosby on you but, I could easily see myself falling in love with you.”

     You felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs. Did Spencer just say what you think he said? You’d never had a guy tell you that on the first date before.

     But then again, this didn’t feel wrong.

    “Well,” you said, a little breathless. “Then I’m no Robin because yeah, I think I could fall in love with you too.”

     Spencer reached across the table and grabbed your hands in his. 

     “(Y/n), I’ve never felt this way about a person before,” he confessed. “I feel like I can be completely myself around you. You’re so smart and funny and really attractive.”

     “And an amazing assistant?” You teased.

     “I thought you didn’t want to talk about work,” Spencer said. 

     “You’re right, I don’t,” you said, “Go back to the calling me attractive thing.”

     You joked, but what Spencer was saying meant a lot to you. You never seen this side of him before. Vulnerable and sweet and wanting a relationship with you. 

     “So,” Spencer started, “What do you say we get out of here and I show you my toothbrush?”

     “If that’s supposed to be innuendo, you’re failing miserably,” you said.

     “(Y/n), come on, give me some credit,” Spencer laughed, finishing off his coffee.

     “Well then,” you said, as the barista began to walk over to your table to collect your empty drink cups. “I’d love to see your toothbrush.”

     “Have a good day guys,” the woman said, gathering your dishes.

     “Seriously, so cute!” She mouthed to you, before leaving your table. 

     “Yeah, let’s get out of here before Ms. Coffee tries to make a move on you,” you joked, standing up. 

     “The one time a woman thinks I’m hot and I’m already on a date with someone else,” Spencer threw up his hands and you put yours on your hips.

     Spencer stood up and came to stand in front of you. “Kidding, you know there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you tonight.”

     Your heart swelled and you let Spencer guide you to the door, his hand pressing gently on the small of your back.

     Once you were outside of the building, you were met with a chill wind that hadn’t been there when you had arrived at the coffee shop.

     You shivered and Spencer, noticing, quickly took off his jean jacket, placing it around your shoulders.

     You had walked only a few more feet before it began pouring rain. 

     You shrieked, pulling Spencer’s jacket above your head. You looked at him and you both began running, laughing as you picked up your pace.

     What a sight you must have been to anyone watching, running through the rain and giggling like madmen.

     Your hair was getting drenched even under the coat, and your clothes were already soaked and stuck to your skin. You were cold and wet and totally ruining a dry-clean-only top.

     But, as you looked at Spencer, his hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, his hand reaching to grab yours as you ran together, you knew you would remember this for a long time.

     You thought of Spencer’s earlier statement. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.

     You couldn’t agree more, you thought.

     And then a raindrop fell straight into your eye. 

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     “Sorry about the whole rain thing,” Spencer ran a hand through his hair, looking up at you from his seated position.

     “Spencer, you can’t control Mother Nature,” you told him.

     “Not yet,” Spencer mumbled.

     “Besides,” you continued, “Now I get to wear your clothes.

     You spun around for him, showing him the t-shirt and sweatpants that you had put on.

     You were in Spencer’s living room, where you’d come straight after you’d gone into his bathroom to change out of your wet clothes—you could confirm, his toothbrush was green—and into some of his that he had given you to wear. 

     “Damn,” he blew out a breath, “You might as well steal my whole wardrobe at this point if you’re going to keep making it look so sexy.”

     “I don’t know,” you said, “You make it look pretty sexy yourself.”

     Spencer smiled, standing up and walking across the room towards you.

     “How did I get so lucky?” He shook is head.

     “Shayne, I think?” You answered.

     “I owe him big time,” he agreed. “I could almost kiss him. No homo.”

     You giggled, rolling your eyes. “I have a better idea.”

     “Yeah?” 

     “You could kiss me instead,” you bit your bottom lip. 

     “Way to spoil part two of our date,” Spencer said.

     “What’s part two of our date?” You played along. 

     “Well, I was thinking it would go a little something like this.”

     He closed the distance between you, bringing his lips to yours.

     He kissed you gently at first, his mouth teasing yours as you kissed him back.

    Then his hands were in your hair and he was kissing you harder, more passionately.

     Whenever you’d imagined your first kiss with Spencer—which you’d done more often than you’d like to admit in your first few weeks at Smosh—nothing had ever come close to this.

     To really kissing him.

     You could have gone on like this forever, kissing Spencer and thinking of nothing but the way his hands felt on your body and the way his lips said more than words could.

     But Spencer stopped, pulling away for a moment. 

     “Wow, (Y/n).” His voice came out rough. “I hate to interrupt that but do you wanna maybe take this to my room? All this stand-up kissing is gonna throw out my back.”

     “Grandpa,” you breathed, letting him grab your hand and guide you down the hall. 

     “Don’t mind the mess,” he said, stopping in the doorway. “Blame my roommate.”

     “You have a roommate?” You asked, stepping into his bedroom.

     “Well these Mountain Dew cans can’t have just spawned out of nowhere,” he teased, kicking a can to the side. 

     “I feel like I’m committing a cleanliness crime just walking in here,” you joked, stepping over a pile of laundry. 

     “Well then,” Spencer said, leaning backwards on the bed, reaching out an arm to you. “Go down with me, Bonnie and Clyde style?”

     “Anytime,” you said, joining him. “Bring on the bullets.”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     You woke up to the sun shining in your face, the light making you squint as you tried to open your eyes. 

     You must’ve forgot to close the curtains last night. To be fair, you had been busy doing…other things.

     You smiled to yourself. Turns out Erin was right after all.

     You looked over at Spencer, still asleep, his arm slung over your shoulder, the other behind his head.

     Your head lay on his chest, your body sprawled out on top of him. You never wanted to move from this position.

     Last night had been one of the best moments of your life. Getting to know Spencer better, being intimate with him, running through the rain together.

     Now, as you lay with Spencer, so peaceful and calm, you never wanted it to end. 

     You ran your fingers over Spencer’s arm, tracing one of his tattoos lightly. You’d always thought they looked so cool, but you’d never actually studied each one individually. 

     “I wonder what this one means,” you whispered, your fingers stopping over the ink on his forearm. 

     “It’s cooler if you don’t know,” Spencer surprised you with his voice, the tone low and raspy from sleep.

     “How long have you been awake?” You asked him.

     “A while,” he confessed. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

     You turned so you were laying on your stomach, looking up at him.

     “I had fun last night,” you told him.

     “Yeah? I’m glad, cause I’m pretty sure it was the best night of my life,” he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head, almost echoing your thoughts from moments ago.

      “How are we going to top this next time?” You asked, placing a hand on his chest. You smiled, thinking of a certain met gala interaction. “How are we going to outdo what we did?”

     “We don’t have to, it’s just us,” Spencer quoted back.

     “It’s a timeless partnership,” you continued, before you both started laughing.

     “But seriously,” you said. “Do you already have a plan for date number two or is it my turn?”

      “Well,” he started, “We could actually go in the—”

     “If you say shoe store, I’m leaving!” You sat up, crossing your arms.

     “I’m already putting it on my calendar,” Spencer sat up with you. “Which reminds me…”

     He trailed off, standing up and throwing his clothes from the night before back on.

     You got up too, finding your (well, Spencer’s) clothes and getting dressed also. 

     Once Spencer was fully clothed, he walked over to the desk across from his bed, grabbing a blue box with what was probably supposed to be a bow tied around it. 

     He handed it out to you, looking almost nervous. “I meant to give this to you last night but I forgot. I hope you like it.”

     He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. 

     You took the box from him, opening it to find the nicest pair of converse you had ever seen. You couldn’t believe it. He had actually bought you shoes. 

     “Spencer, I don’t know what to say,” you said.

     “I bought them the day we met,” he informed you, shyly. “It was our thing—our little inside joke. I’d been looking for the right time to give them to you and this seemed like it.”

     You grinned. This was, unironically, the nicest and cutest thing anyone had ever done for you. 

     You looked at Spencer, waiting expectantly to see if you liked the shoes. You looked around you, at the messy room that already felt like a second home. 

     You had grown to care for Spencer so much in the short time that you had known him. You couldn’t wait for your next date. You had so much to look forward to, for the future.

     But right now, you focused on this moment. On Spencer, standing right in front of you.

     “I love them,” you said, pulling the shoes out of the box. “And I love you.”

     Spencer stepped closer to you, kissing you softly on the lips.

     “I loved you from the moment I met you, (Y/n),” he said.

     You stood like that for a moment before Spencer broke the silence.

     “Well, try them on,” he gestured to the shoes in your hand. “The sooner we get rid of those grandma kicks, the better.”

     You laughed, putting your new shoes on your feet and walking around the room, modeling them for Spencer.

      “Well, what do you think?” You asked him. 

     “Now those,” Spencer started, smiling at you, “are cool shoes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ ahh hope you enjoyed!! i’m loving all of the spencer love 🎀 (and if you got my shameless jack harlow reference ilysm)

<— previous part •  some more spencer fics —>

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unwanted 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, bullying, insults, body insecurity, perversion, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Summary: You’re used to being unwanted, but a strange man might just convince you that’s a good thing.

Note: this is a sequel to Unsolicited/Unexpected, but with a different reader. This is Lloyd’s sequel. Peaches is flourishing somewhere else.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You lean on the break as you near the orange light. Derrick’s keyboard surrounds you with digital tap tap taps that almost make your ears itch. He chuckles at his phone as you check the rear view. You know it’s all in your head but you swear that car’s been following you for a while. 

“Take it easy,” Derrick warns without looking up as you slowly roll forward with the green. “I just got this washed.” 

You don’t mention that you’re hardly moving at all. You build to the speed limit and keep steady with the rest of traffic. He asked you to drive yet here he is telling you how to do it. You’re not the one with the history of reckless driving. Well, he only wanted to be able to play on his cell, he didn’t really care about you. 

He snorts again and you feel him glance over at you. You resist as frown. “What?” 

“What?” He echoes. 

“Are you looking at me?” You ask. 

“No. Why would I look at you?” He scoffs. “Focus on the road. Already gotta tell dad we couldn’t get mom’s Christmas present, don’t wanna have to show him a dent.” 

“Right,” you agree and steer the wheel, fixing your posture so you’re rigid in the seat.  

You carefully follow your usual route home. The chirp of his notifications are annoying. If you say something, he’ll only turn up the volume. 

It doesn’t feel fair. You don’t have a car. Your parents say if you want one, you should learn some responsibility and save up for one. You are. You have been for three years. 

You pull in behind your dad’s SUV and shift into park. Derrick doesn’t wait for you. He clicks his seat belt and it recoils above his shoulder. He gets out, not looking up from his phone.  

As you get out, a car rolls by. You glimpse its tail lights. You don’t recognize it. You rarely see a new car in the neighbourhood, yet it is the holidays, it isn’t unusual to have visitors. 

You continue up the long drive and inside. You leave your boots on the rack and hang your coat. You hear Derrick’s flat drone from down the hall. You follow it and peek through the doorway. 

Your dad has his arms crossed on top of the island counter. His teeth grit in disappointment as his eyes are drawn to your movement. Derrick waggles his phone carelessly. 

���Yeah, she took her time. I saw a lady walk out with the last bottle,” he snorts, “so you can thank her for that.” 

“What--” you squeak. You didn’t see the woman with the perfume. 

“Typical,” your dad sighs. 

“And get this,” Derrick steps up to the island and puts his phone on top. “She was up in the store flirting with some creep.” 

“Flirting? No, I wouldn’t,” you say. 

Your brother laughs, “listen to her. She’s always been a liar.” 

“A man?” Your dad narrows his eyes as he finally looks at you. “I sent you to buy your mother a present, not to act like that.” 

“No, really, I wasn’t-- He approached me. I told him--” 

“I hate when you lie,” your dad hisses. “And I always known when you do, so save it. I’ll have to order it and hope it shows in time.” 

You deflate. Somehow, it’s always your fault. It’s your fault that the stock is all out only a week ahead of the holidays and it’s your fault that guy even noticed you. You can’t say what you did but you must have asked for it. Just like everything bad. 

“I’m sorry, dad,” you say.  

He’s already walking away. Derrick too. When your mom gets home, she’ll do the same. You’ll save them all the bother and just go to your room. 

You retreat upstairs and close yourself into your only haven. You don’t have friends. Not anymore. Those you went to college with are all grown up and living on their own. And those are the ones that weren’t driven away by your parents. 

Well, who would want to be your friend? You still work at the same warehouse job you’ve had since college. It pays a bit more than minimum wage but nothing close enough to get you out of there.  

On top of that, you’re boring. Your family ostracised you for so long that all your hobbies are lonely; cross-stitching, puzzles, colouring. Although, having someone to craft with might be nice. 

You can’t focus on any of those. You’re still uptight about the day. Your dad’s upset with you, which might not be unusual but is still unnerving. And that man. You just can’t shake him. He was so strange. So persistent. 

You get up and go to your desk. You move your small vanity mirror across the wood and open the little plastic doors to reveal the mirror. You look at yourself with the same disappointment as your family. You’re not pretty. You’re not even interesting. And to make matters more complicated, you aren’t skinny either. 

You’re you and you are not good enough. For anyone. Knowing that, accepting it for years, you realise what that man was up to. It was a joke. He was making fun of you. He will probably tell his pals all about how he harassed the fat girl at the mall and how she was so scared of him. 

Oh well. At least you won’t ever see him again. 

You put a show on your phone and laze about as it plays in the background. You lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes you just like to enjoy not having to do anything. No chores, no work, no arguments. 

It doesn’t last long. There’s a knock at the door. You suspect who it is before your mom lets herself in without waiting for a response. You heard her car a while ago. You sit up and tap the screen of your phone. 

“You need help with dinner?” You ask. 

“Ordering, since you can’t be bothered to think ahead,” she chides. 

“I’m sorry, mom, but the calendar--” 

“Well, I worked all day. I’m exhausted.” She hisses. 

“Sorry, mom.” 

You won’t mention that you just got done a six-day sprint of twelve-hour shifts. You won’t say a word. You seal your lips and patiently watch her. 

“What’s this I hear about some man at the mall?” She curls her lips. “I didn’t raise you to talk to strange men.” 

“I wasn’t-- I’m sorry,” you apologise. Again. 

“You should be. You shouldn’t act like a slut. Your brother even said he was much older. That’s nasty,” she reproaches. 

You feel like you’ve been slapped. All you did was tell him to go away but no one’s asking you. Rather, they’re not listening. You ball your hands to fists and dig your nails into your palms. 

“I wasn’t meaning... to act like a slut,” you murmur. 

“Mm, well, I suppose I can’t blame you. You aren’t used to the attention,” her eyes flick up and down. She turns and lets out an airy sigh, “the pizza will be delivered soon. You may set the table. 

[reveseke]

Tony, avengers & teen! BW! reader headcanons

Warnings? None really, okay maybe inhumane practice? (Talks about muzzling a teenager for biting problems. It's a suggestion, nothing that big or described tbh.) Also, this encompasses a lot more than just Tony, but I tried to keep it on Tony primarily lol.

A/N: Ssooo this had been requested by 🕷️anon. I'm so sorry this took me so long, but here it is. Also I'm all over the place at first bc background to thinking process and so on, but this was really fun! I hope you like them, I guess? :')

BW! Reader -> black widow (spiderman) reader

Okay, okay, okay okayookaylaku anyways, so I don't think Tony is big on kids (going by the movies) so it's probably Pepper and Fury who rope him into adopting reader!! I firmly believe it was Fury who placed them with the avengers & Tony, specifically to be under Tony's guardianship as a way to manage them & Tony himself bc we know Tony is a reckless fucker himself.

Character personalities based on different Earths; most notable is earth-12041 animation universe specifically, not the comics. Tony is based on the ironman sequel & E12041, Nat mentioned and is based on E12041. Pepper's personal interpretation of motherly leaning and someone's is good at getting along with others easily. Nick is a dick and based on E12041.

Sooo, now that's out of the system here's some of the headcanons :')

— Tony who was against the idea of having BW! Reader under his wing and BW! Reader who was against being in the avengers compound in general bc the avengers are still roped in with the government and so on.

-> take on hostile BW! Reader who is trying to escape every minute they're given. Someone who doesn't trust anybody and has been left to stew in their own mind for too long!!

-> que Tony somewhat sympathizing with Reader after reading into their past & family (especially if the reader didn't really have a good family to begin with.) — however, leaving the past open for now.

— I firmly believe that BW! Reader is as hostile to The Avengers as they would be to the police and such. Quite the anti government & police type of guy.

-> ALSO See the shock of the people Reader was primarily around / from the area under their protection when a journalist or someone on the net offhandly mentions that the young vigilante has been spotted around the avengers !!

-> or they take notice that the home grown vigilante has moved!! See the outrage. (Tbh, BW! Reader is either willingly getting let back to his home streets OR they escape to them.)

— Tony and the avengers are aware of Reader's reputation and I believe there's some safe precautions and jokes about them biting the team members or Tony on an average day (either from Flint or Tony himself) uhh.. yeah.

-> when I say safe precautions, see Fury having his men make a special muzzle for the reader or something alike that limits their erratic behavior.

— Also, Tony would probably be either disappointed or impressed (or both) with the reader regarding their biting habits and ways of handling the situations (which often ends with someone being killed or seriously injured).

-> And him basically being given options (that Tony sees as something that might set Reader off instead.) by Fury on how he should be handled. (See the precaution one over this one lol)

— BW! Reader who does not adjust well into the situation at first, but learns fast what he can do and cannot do and how much he can stretch and bend the rules without getting in trouble.

— Que Tony being impressed how easily he can lose track of the teen as he escaped the tower multiple times without being properly detected.

— BW! Reader who later on adjusts slowly but does no longer harbor outright hate for Tony or the Avengers, maybe to captain in some cases but still.

— tbh It would be funny if they warmed up to Pepper the first time around and Happy is the second person who was put to "babysit" them. (Maybe Nat as well? y'know shared identity name — the two widows [except Reader is probably being referred to with a secondary alias or as a BW junior/ mini BW/ Kid black widow, or just simply "BW" if they bonded. Alllsssooo, Nat helping BW! Reader with training!!])

— Also Tony having no patience or fatherly bone for Reader at first and it's Pepper counseling Tony about it. Short tempered slowly adjusting himself as well. And if BW! Reader is big on tech then random bonding time after Tony figures the teen out about it!!

— I mentioned before hand Fury putting Reader under Tony's guardianship to manage him. And I mean that, Tony's reckless and Fury thinking that having a kid under his wing might, just might actually help him keep tabs on the stubborn millionaire easier.

-> que Reader saying fuck it and refusing to speak or help out Fury on that management assignment.

— also first impressions are kinda poor imo, I don't think BW! Reader would have anything good to say about Fury or Tony. Rude, outright might get volatile.

[inbarfink]

Alrighty, so a second season of ‘Fionna and Cake’ is now Officially Confirmed! I was being very cautious about speculating and getting my hopes up until it was Actually Announced, but now that it has, I can’t say I am necessarily shocked that there is going to be a continuation. Looking back on what we can now confidently call ‘Season 1’, there are a few peculiar threads which seem like they are probably meant as a set up for this second season.

Now, everything in this post is going to be very speculative. This is just me going over aspects of Season 1 which seems weird from a perspective of set-up and payoff or just feel like they need more elaboration and thinking what might be done with them in S2. With basically nothing to go on for what will Actually Happen in Season 2 save for the fact that it will exist, just remember to put a huge caveat of ‘I don’t actually know anything yet!’ next to everything I type lol

Fionnaworld Stuff

I wanna start by talking about the one part of Fionna and Cake’s Season 2 we can be pretty certain about - which is that it’s going to feature Fionna and Cake and probably the rest of the Fionnaworld gang. Although, to be perfectly honest… Right now, I am struggling to think of a clear ‘loose thread’ that can hint at where these characters will go in future. Season 1 seemed to have left everyone fairly content. 

I’m not saying that there’s no place to explore these characters further - obviously I’m sure Season 2 will find whole new unexpected angles to develop them. I’m just saying that Season 1 doesn’t really have any clear threads you can point at as a basis for a prediction. At least nothing I can really see myself. 

Perhaps we can give more focus to the Fionna/Hunter stuff we hinted at during Season 1, but wasn’t really given center stage? Or something about Fionna learning how she can be an adventurer on her own terms, after her Season 1 experiences kinda convinced her she couldn’t at all? Or maybe since Season 1 was kinda Fionna-focused, we’re going to get a more Cake-Focused Season 2?

That’s all I got for now, at least. I guess with ‘Fionna and Cake’ being a very character-focused show, and the idea of a renewal probably not being certain when S1 was developed - it makes sense to prioritize giving a strong sense of closure for the main characters and keep the ‘sequel teasing’ stuff to just Lore/Plot hints. Like, if there’s a little Hint of Things to Come that doesn’t amount to anything because the show got canceled that’s just like a Little Weird, but leaving the main characters’ arcs/relationships feeling unresolved forever would be a much bigger problem for the show’s legacy. And speaking of which…

Prismo Stuff

And here’s the real Interesting Stuff that inspired me to make this post in the first place. I think the most notable potential ‘sequel tease’ in F&C Season 1, the thing I always noted as Odd before the second season was confirmed, the main reason I suspected a second season was probably in the works -  is definitely this little moment with Prismo during the ending…

Where he seems to ‘glitch’ for a moment.

What could this possibly mean? I am not sure, but I feel pretty confident that it’s Plot Relevant. It’s a quick but pretty noticeable Moment that doesn’t really seem to have a clear explanation within the first season, especially as it happens just as everything is wrapping up. Perhaps this is the first sign of Prismo becoming sick/malfunctioning/infected, and Season 2 is going to be about unglitching him?

Speaking of which, going into more character-related stuff… while Prismo's grief-induced-depression-spiral from Jake’s death is constantly hinted at throughout the first season - it’s never really confronted directly. I mean, we can assume that between helping out F&C and having Scarab around as a personal assistant - that could’ve helped him get a new lease on life… But maybe a second season could explore Prismo’s grief more deeply?

And then there are also these two

That’s another thing I always found very peculiar in a “hmm, are they planning on making an S2??” sort of way. Like, they spend a minute-and-a-half establishing the Core and the way it works... when I first watched it I was pretty certain it was going to come back later. Like, Simon is going to try to fuck with Time Itself to get Betty back or something. But then they just… loop back to it. It was just a piece of Lore Trivia and a background for the Actually Lore Relevant Infodump.

It might indeed be just that. Just an extra bit of Worldbuilding and a neat change of scenery in the middle of the chase scene. But I still suspect that these Time Titans will become plot-relevant at some future point. 

Multiverse Stuff

Well, out of the myriad worlds that F&C have already visited, it seems like the one that has really left a lot of lingering questions in the minds of the AT Fandom is Farmworld, and those questions are primarily…

HEY!? What the FUCK??? Is he okay?? Is he dead??

So yeah, some sort of confirmation of whatever or not Farmworld Finn is/isn’t dead, and if he is dead - some sort of confirmation of how his kids are getting by considering that their eldest brother just fucked-off to another universe one day… that would be nice and give a better sense of closure on the Farmworld segment of F&C Season 1.

But personally…I think the Multiverse Moment that really rings to me the most as a ‘probable future plot point’, is definitely this little moment in Vampireworld.

The show deliberately emphasizes the moment where the Vampire King saw our Trio use God’s Remote Control to warp to another world. And personally, the vibes here seem… meaningful.

With Bonnie also drawing attention to the fact the Vampires have over-hunted the humans and basically doomed both the world in general and Vampirekind specifically… Could this be the Vampire King’s solution to that problem? Now that he has seen ‘a new thing’, a hint at the existence of the Multiverse - will he try to find a whole new world for his children to feast on?

Well… that’s an alright villain concept and a decent plot hook. My current problem with it is just… the Mainworld Vampire King made for an intriguing and interesting character due both to his compelling dynamic with Marceline and the way he has been changed by the destruction of his people into a very contemplative and complex person. Vampireworld Vampire King doesn’t really have that, as a Vampire King who has never known defeat, he's just a Very Dramatic Evil Vampire. And I feel like Adventure Time aspires to more unique antagonists than Very Dramatic Evil Vampires. 

Now, it’s not impossible to make Vampireworld Vampire King a bit more Interesting if he ever takes center stage - maybe the population collapse of Vampireworld affected him in similar ways to Mainworld Vampire King, or maybe it affected him in a totally different direction, maybe we can give a bit more focus on the influence the Crown has or doesn’t have on him, maybe something else completely out-of-left-field could happen to him.

Or maybe the Star did end up surviving the Doomed Yuri Freefall and she’ll be the one trying out for Vampiric Multiverse Conqueror. She was always the, well, Star of Vampireworld - and she has the potential to be a very fun antagonist with cool thematic implications. I mean, like, Imagine her in contrast to Marshall. He gave up on a comfortable life in the laps of luxury due to wanting some freedom from his over-controlling mom and also it seems some level of moral outrage at her Landlordy ways

And the Star is a Daddy’s Girl Evil Vampire Princess and basically everything he has tried not to be. And yet… will he see a bit of himself in the Star?

Also, I wonder if we’ll see some more of the Alternative Universes Simon stumbled on during his trip back to Ooo. You know, the ones we haven’t actually seen in the main plot.

Simon Stuff

Okay, so… even before the announcement was made official, I have seen a lot of people assume that F&C Season 2 will be just as Simon-Focused as the first season. But personally, I am not sure about it just yet. I mean, I’m a huge Simon Fan, being part of the Petricollective ever since I started to watch the show, so I sure as hell will not complain but… it is important to remember the show is called “Fionna and Cake” and not “Fionna and Cake and Simon”.

I can see the idea being that Simon works as more of a ‘link’ between regular ‘Adventure Time’ and ‘Fionna and Cake’. You know, he’s a fan-favorite and the one major ‘loose thread’ in the original show that can draw old fans into this series which is mostly an all-new cast (considering the Fionnaworld Crew consider themselves to be distinctive from their old magical counterparts).... Kinda like he was the link between Fionnaworld and the rest of the Multiverse, actually. So he’s around as a major character for the first season and from then on he takes more of a secondary role. Since he is a good friend of F&C by this point and their main connection to Ooo, I doubt he’ll disappear completely, but he just might not be as central a character. Or maybe the theme of ‘Fionna and Cake’ is F&C teaming up with different Mainworld characters for different kinds of adventures? 

I mean, it still could go either way. Simon’s arc feels pretty well-concluded to me but the same is true for the Fionnaworld crew and… obviously they’re going to have more Character Stuff in the upcoming season and it’s the whole thing about how it’s important to make your character arcs feel concluded if you don’t know if you’re getting another season. We’ve talked about this already. 

And also… There is one aspect of Simon’s Problems at the start of the show that didn’t truly get to a satisfactory conclusion by the end of the first season. Namely, his loving-but-rocky relationships with both Marceline and Finn.

Like, y’know, he’s generally handling his Stuff better by the end of the season so I guess we can assume he’s also better at communicating with his loved ones but… it is very peculiar that we didn’t actually get to see it. Even as just a moment in his Happy Ending Montage when we see him hanging out and being happy with Finn and/or Marcy. Like, there is certainly a Point to be made about the importance of Simon making friends with people who didn’t know him much as Ice King for the sake of his recovery…

But the total absence of Finn and Marcy from Simon’s epilogue still feels… odd. So that could be something to return to in a future season. Like, I did speculate the F&C ‘format’ might be the Fionnaworld Crew + a different Mainworld character given focus every season. So maybe Simon’s still-not-fully-concluded interpersonal issues could be a launchpad to a F&C season with a primary focus on Finn and/or Marceline.

Finn and Fionna adventuring together would be pretty neat, and if we’re going to give more focus to Prismo’s Grief Problem, it would be very Thematically Appropriate. But also....confronting Finn’s own Jake Grief Problems is actually kinda challenging because we already had a whole special about it.

And that special is happening way way farther in the timeline and explicitly established that Finn never truly got over the grief of losing Jake.

So making an F&C adventure that tackles Finn’s grief in a satisfying manner without feeling it steps over Together Again’s toes… Well, it’s not impossible, but it is quite a tall feat.

Meanwhile, Marceline has less Obvious Issues That Need to Be Addressed right now but also… if we do have the Vampire King and/or the Star as a major threat for this new season, she would clearly be the one to get the Maximum Amount of Drama out of it, so…

Other Ooo Stuff

Okay, so speaking of Finn and things established early on in F&C which then didn’t really come back by the end of the first season, let’s talk a bit about the Heart of the Forest.

So this whole thing could be just a Joke. It could just be a gag about Finn disregarding Huntress Wizard’s warnings and taking his depressed middle-aged friend hiking in the Most Sacred and Ancient Forest in all of Ooo, as a joke. Haha, oh this Finn, so irresponsible! But also…

Finn and Simon were being watched. By a being wearing the same mask as the ‘Evil Bear’

But one that does not quite move like a bear world…

And then of course, this supposedly ‘Evil Bear’ only attacks Simon after he tries to get his little nerdy hands on this peculiar and important-looking tree. 

This really seems to have some implications that the ‘Evil Bear’ is not just one more random ‘evil’ monster that Finn and Simon stumbled across. That they might be some sort of Guardian for the Heart of the Forest, and that their shapeshifting abilities also extend to having some sort of humanoid form, and that they are not quite as monstrous or bestial or ‘evil’ as Finn pegged them out to be.

But all that happens is that Finn kills them, and then the whole matter is not brought up again…. Well, as of Season 1, that is…

So if we are doing some sort of Finn Focused Season, that might be something to bring up. Especially if it’s paired up with some of the Fionna/Hunter stuff I brought up above. 

Again, everything here is just Wild Wild Speculation at this point. This is just a bunch of Stuff that felt Weird resolution-wise in Season 1, and some loose ideas about how they might connect. If you guys have your own ideas and observations, I would love to hear them too!

[fishsticksloser]

Beguilement Pt2

F!Donnie x gn!reader

Warnings: angst, comfort, fluff, kissing, swearing

A/N: The much requested sequel. I'm sorry it took so long, I wanted to get my other requests since before starting sequels.

Previous | Next

"So I'm just a distraction?" You finally say. "Nothing more. I'm just something in your way. So self-righteous. Your work trumps everything else. You are so worried about hiding your feelings you don't care who you hurt."

"Wait!" He calls as you storm out. You didn't listen, letting the lab door slam behind you. He stares at the probe in front of him. Shoving it off the desk, not really carrying if it broke. "Fuck..."

Donatello sat there, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched you storm out of the lab. He knew he had messed up, let his emotions get the best of him. He didn't mean to hurt you, but his frustration and fear had taken over. He cursed himself for being so blind, for pushing you away when all you had ever shown him was kindness.

He quickly made his way out of the lab, desperately searching for you. He found you standing in a dimly lit hallway, shoulders tense and eyes filled with hurt. Donatello approached you cautiously, his voice filled with regret.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say those things. I was just... overwhelmed. I'm scared. Scared that if I let myself get close to someone, it'll only put them in danger. I can't bear the thought of losing you." He reached out tentatively, wanting to touch you, to offer comfort, but he hesitated, unsure of how you would react. "I know I can be stubborn and distant, but please understand that it's not because I don't care. It's because I care too much. And I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you because of me."

His voice was filled with vulnerability as he confessed his deepest fears. "I don't want to be alone anymore. But I don't know how to navigate this... This love thing. It scares me, but it also excites me. And I don't want to let my fears hold me back from being with you." Donatello's gaze met yours, his eyes pleading for understanding. "Please, forgive me. I want to make it up to you, to show you that you mean more to me than anything else."

"You think I know how to navigate this?" You ask, crossing your arms. You look at Donnie, turning your head slightly. You sigh heavily as you lean against the wall. "I don't know anything about love..." He took a step closer, still giving you space but wanting to be closer.

"Emotions can be overwhelming and confusing, especially when you're not used to them." You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. "Love is... It's different for everyone. But for me, love is about wanting to be there for someone, to support them and make them happy. It's about accepting their flaws and still seeing the beauty within them. And when it comes to you, Donnie, I feel all those things and more. Being with you makes me... Feel alive, in a way that nothing else does. I may not know everything about love, but I know that I want to explore it with you."

You pause for a moment, giving him space to process your words. "I won't pretend to have all the answers, but I promise to be patient."

Donatello listened intently to your words, his eyes softening as you spoke. He could feel the weight of his own insecurities starting to lift, replaced by a glimmer of hope. He took a step closer, his voice filled with sincerity. "Y/N, you have a way of seeing the best in me, even when I can't see it in myself. And I want to do the same for you. I may not have all the answers either, but I promise to be there for you, to support you, and to make you feel loved and cherished." He reached out, gently taking your hand in his, his touch tentative yet full of warmth. "We can learn and grow from each other, and maybe, just maybe, we can discover what love truly means for us."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he spoke. "And as for my work, I promise to find a balance. To make time for you, for us. Because you deserve that. You deserve to be a part of my life, and I want to be a part of yours." Donatello's grip tightened slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of doubt or hesitation. "So, will you give me a chance? To be the partner you deserve? To explore this unknown path of love together?"

"I'm not sure." You smile at Donnie, feigning a pout. "Might need something to sweeten the deal just a bit." You shrug, feeling Donnie's hand moving to your waist. Donatello's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and anticipation flickering across his face as you teased him. You take a small step closer, standing on your toes, bumping your nose against his. He felt his heart race in his chest as your bodies pressed closer together, your proximity sending a surge of warmth through him.

A mischievous grin tugged at the corners of his lips as he met your gaze, his voice laced with playful confidence. "Oh, I see. You want a little something extra to seal the deal, hm?" He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with a mix of desire and amusement.

Leaning in, he closed the remaining distance between your lips, their softness meeting his with a gentle yet passionate kiss. His hands slid further around your waist, pulling you even closer, allowing the heat between you to build.

The kiss was a dance of exploration, a sweet and tender exchange that conveyed his longing and affection. His lips moved against yours with a growing intensity, his touch becoming bolder as he savored the taste and feel of you.

Eventually, he pulled away, his breath coming in shallow gasps as he rested his forehead against yours. His voice was husky with desire as he spoke, his words a mere whisper. "Consider that a taste of what's to come. If you'll have me, I promise to make every moment with you an adventure. To shower you with love and affection, and to cherish you with all that I am." Donatello's eyes bore into yours, his expression filled with a mix of longing and vulnerability. "So, my love, will you take this leap with me? Will you be mine, and let me be yours?"

"Yeah... I think I can do that..." You mumble, a bit dazed from the kiss. You lean forward again and kiss him softly. Your hand moves to cup the back of his neck, lips molding to his.

Donatello's heart skipped a beat as you kissed him again, his whole being electrified by the connection between your lips. He reciprocated the kiss with fervor, his hand gently cradling your face as he deepened the embrace. His body pressed closer to yours, a low groan escaping his lips as the kiss intensified. His free hand found its way to the small of your back, pulling you even tighter against him, as if he never wanted to let go.

Time seemed to stand still as the world faded away, leaving only the two of you locked in this passionate exchange. Donatello's senses were overwhelmed by the taste, the touch, the scent of you, and he couldn't help but lose himself in the moment.

When the need for air became undeniable, he reluctantly pulled away, his lips lingering against yours for a brief moment before he rested his forehead against yours, his breathing ragged.

"I... I promise," he whispered, struggling to find his words amidst the whirlwind of emotions. "I promise to make you feel loved, cherished, and desired every single day. To be there for you, to support you, and to never let you doubt how much you mean to me." He pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose, a smile tugging at his lips. "Together, we'll navigate this crazy thing called love, and I'll do everything in my power to make you happy."

Donatello pulled you into a warm embrace, savoring the feeling of your presence against him. He knew there would be challenges ahead, but with you by his side, he felt invincible. Together, you would face the unknown and create your own path, filled with love, passion, and adventure.

[arcadiabaytornado]

SPOILERS AHEAD Episode 5 Double Exposure Rapid Fire Thoughts After I Just Finished Two Route's:

A: I'm still so conflicted about Safi. I ended up refusing to help her because A: I do think she went to far multiple times. B: I don't feel like she really learned a lesson here. C: She broke her promises to Max by shapeshifting into Max and Amanda. If she can't even keep a promise like that then she's not someone Max can trust. HOWEVER...I do like her character in the evil type of way. I'm so bummed that we were so close to getting toxic yuri and then the game ripped it away. /hj

B: So. I don't like Amanda. At all. Will not be romancing again. She's just so...I literally don't know she see's in Max?? Every time Max speaks she's gets irritated, and she straight up says that she "dodged a bullet" if Max friendzoned her. I will admit I didn't really think about the moral implications about romancing someone on one timeline after being rejecting in the other, and I do think it's interesting that the game brought it up. I've literally never seen that addressed in a time travel story.

C: I can't believe how much I like Vinh?? He grew on me a lot through the course of the story, and I ended up liking his romance more than Amanda's, which is CRAZY. Him comparing Max to tarot card's in his social media message was cute, and I liked their little "focus on what's in front of you" exchange. (Though I prefer the Vinh/Max friendship route, I think) Overall I ended up really liking Vinh and his messiness, honestly he's one of my new favorites for all his nuances and complexities.

D: My favorite new character introduced in this game is Moses. He's been a great friend to Max since the start, and I really hope we get him again some day.

More Undercut

E: They did so much Arcadia Bay/Chloe stuff in this episode, and I still feel like they didn't do enough??? They just explore any route thoroughly enough for tastes, but I did up preferring the Bae route again so, there's that. TBH I'm not holding out much hope that Max and Chloe will get back together. I would L O V E to be wrong....but IDK.

F: Diamond has powers I guess? I don't really have a lot of thoughts of her character TBH, and that's because I don't have a lot of thoughts on MOST of the characters. The only characters I ended up having any feelings toward were: Max, Gwen, Safi, Vinh, and Moses. The rest of them just faded into background noise for me, and I think a major complaint that I have is that every character feels kind of underdeveloped in a specific way that varies from character to character.

G: The end choice was...fine I guess?? For me it was the worst end choice in the franchise, and I feel like in the sequel it will only lead to a few small dialogue changes.

H: I I'd rate the game overall a 7/10, but I'd only rank this episode a 5/10. When the chapter ended my first thought was "What am I even supposed to say about this? It was underwhelming? It was slow? It made the entire game feel kind of pointless?" I'm not really finding any words it just...was a chapter I guess?? Like...I feel nothing strongly. Easily the best scenes were the ones with Max and Safi, but other than I found no substance anywhere. It was the chapter that just was....and my lingering feeling is disappointment.

If I was going to rank the episodes from how I liked them from most to least, I'd rank them: 2, 1, 3, 4, 5.

If I was going to rank the games from how I liked them from most to least, I'd rank them: LIS 1, LIS 2, Before The Storm, Double Exposure, True Colors. (It's weird because I think the high's of Double Exposure reached a high that True Colors never peaked at for me, but I also think the lows of Double Exposure reached a low that True Colors never dived to for me.)

Well. That sure a game. And I'm probably going to need a few days to be more eloquent than that.

[cowboycannibalism]

just got out of a late showing of Talk To Me and I have thoughts!

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

so let's dive in while it's still fresh in my mind

Grief is a heavy player in this movie and that's what makes it so good. So much of what happens is because of Mia not being able to let go or face her grief. she's vulnerable to the spirits/demons/souls because she's lonely and sad and she's trying to find anything to make her feel.

The opening scene was absolutely amazing! it sets up how fucking crazy the movie is going to be. It brings us into the world where everything is for views, everyone is entertainment even when they're suffering. It's not the focus of the film but they way social media guides the story is interesting.

to add to the previous point, every time someone does the "game"/seance, the others whip out their phones with lightening speed. They laugh, they point their cameras at the possessed and scream and shout in joy regardless of what the possessed is doing. we see this in Daniel's first go which is a weird sexual possession that leaves him embarrassed and scared, whereas the group is laughing and recording. it's also what brings Mia to the hand in the first place, she keeps seeing the videos posted of people playing the game and having "fun"

I really liked the kangaroo scene because it was so jarring and the foreshadowing was just mwah. wonderful.

I will admit Mia got annoying because you want her to know that she should stop, but she won't. I was literally trying not to yell at the screen lol

on the other hand (ha hand), I get it. She was desperate, grief will do that to you, she just wanted answers and closure. And that can drive you mad.

The gore/violence in the movie was so good for a possession film! The Riley scene was intense and had the small amount of us in the theater squirming and yelling and gasping. And the limbo/purgatory scene although brief was not what I was expecting and it blew me away, it gave cronenbergian/yuzna's Society [1989] vibes.

the cast was very very good! Sophie Wilde played Mia with such an intensity and passion that drew me in even when I didn't care for her character's actions. And the supporting cast stood their own which was awesome because sometimes in horror those other characters can sometimes get pushed aside or fade into the background.

the sound design had me so tense! I swear I thought I was hearing things and not sure if it was me or the movie. We don't talk enough about sound when it comes to horror. It's honestly what really scares me, more than the actual scenes, it's the score that revs up my anxiety and fear.

All in all, the movie was really good! I'm not even a huge fan of possession horror but I was excited to see it and really glad that I did. I know it's been greenlit for a sequel which would be interesting depending on where they take the story but I'm definitely more interested in the prequel that they've already made!! I hope it gets picked up by A24 like the sequel is because I definitely would like to know more about the hand and mythology behind the "game".

Just to add on some more personal thoughts: It's interesting to me how often grief plays a role in horror. From Midsommar to Hereditary to The Babadook to classics like Pet Sematary, the list goes on. We are vulnerable when we're grieving, easier to let bad things in or ignore the people who love us who are trying to help. When I watch horror about grief, it gets to me more often than any others because I've known grief like a childhood friend. It's been with me my entire life. But I've learned to handle it better than I used to, and with movies like this it's a safe place for me to let it consume me, let it be messy and overwhelming like it is for the characters in the movie.

Anyways to wrap this up please go see Talk To Me! If you like possession movies you'll like it, if you like movies with deeper layers you'll like it, it feels like there's a little bit of everything to appeal to most horror fans.

[meraki-yao]

My two cents on the story some Nick fans hate Taylor:

From what I've seen around they are mainly people who have been following him since before rwrb and if you look carefully they are often huge purple heart fans (and have a slight obsession with the "relationship" between Nick and Sofia) therefore I think that this hatred for Taylor derives from 2 things:

1. They hate that so many people have gotten closer to him because of rwrb but they share the support and love with someone else. That's why they always have to specify that for them Taylor is unemployed (unlike Nick), Taylor is not a good actor (unlike Nick who is the best around for the next 100 years), Taylor is loved only for his hot body and we are all envious that Nick is mentioned around as an actor etc etc. It's impossible for them to accept that people can appreciate both and one must necessarily be better and more loved than the other and they are better fans because they have been following him since before rwrb and they don't want him to still be associated with this film because he will never be "the sole star" but has to share everything with Taylor.

2. Racism. From certain comments they make it is undeniable that this has great relevance in this situation and I don't even want to delve into it because it's not even crazy it's simply disgusting and this is definitely the worst part.

They hate rwrb (but praise Nick as Henry and think he's the only one who did well in the movie) and keep making up this bullshit about how Nick hates the project, hates the cast, his body language says he was uncomfortable on that set, this is the only cast he hasn't remained friends with, Taylor tries hard for have his attention to be relevant but Nick just proves they have no contact and they need it to be true because that's the only thing which they can cling to to hope he doesn't make the sequel. Oh, plus Nick is too busy to accept the sequel and it would be a downgrade for him to do the sequel given the career that awaits him, unlike Taylor who only has rwrb to work and be relevant (all read with my own eyes unfortunately)

In short, I don't know how they can think this is good for Nick and how they can think this is the type of support he deserves and would like. As another blog said, we can't stop them, there are moments they become more vocal and mean and the more we respond the meaner they become saying things like "you get angry because you know it's the truth"

They treat Taylor like a monster, like he's a really bad person, they've done bad things towards him like doxxing and spreading false information about him to convince everyone what an evil person he is.

They say he uses Nick, before Nick's response when he signed the book they said Taylor bullied him with those drawings on his face all because they have this unhealthy relationship with an actor and they think they have some right over his life.

You've explained their (ridiculous) mentality really well, and frankly, it drives me insane that there are people in the world who think they understand one person's career/relationship/life when he doesn't know them

On the note of purple hearts, I didn't watch the movie and I don't plan to, but when I just got into the RWRB fandom and started learning about Nick and Taylor, and I kinda saw some comments from us, that's kind of... something like Purple hearts fans are mad at RWRB because of... opposing political beliefs?

Oh, also agree on the racism thing. Fuck racism man.

My one hope is this bullshit doesn't affect Taylor and Nick. I have faith in their relationship not to turn sour or blame each other because 1, it's not each other's fault 2, they're grown ass adults who understand how this industry, parasocial relationships and fan culture work, but if any of these shitty comments reaches either one of them it must hurt, and arguably hurts Nick more than Taylor, because these people are hurting your friend in your name. That's fucked up.

Again I think the best thing we can do is ignore them, block them and remember that we hold the actual truth: Nick loves RWRB, and Taylor, and Henry. And he and Taylor, on both sides, plus Matthew and a couple editorial writers, stated and showed that they are genuine friends with genuine chemistry.

[tnbc-thoughtsandheadcanons]

Something that has always bothered me about The nightmare before Christmas sequels and the fandom is how Sallys abuse is never talked about or swept under the rug or down played as not that bad. The movie does a great way how showing how abusers can deceive peoplelike every thing is fine but nothing really is. The Dr only hurts Sally when no one is looking or when they are alone and unfortunately when Jack is around he puts on a act like he’s a good guy that would never hurt anyone so Jack is not suspicious Sally is in Danger. I understand this is a difficult subject but I believe one that should be talked about. Sallys story is one of hope that things can and will get better ❤️‍🩹 and that you are not tethered to your abuser. 

I believe I've talked about it before, how Sally's situation with the Doctor can be looked at through the lens of abuse, much like Lock, Shock, and Barrel with Oogie Boogie. Dr. Finkelstein is well-liked among his fans, who have arguments against the whole 'abuse' thing, but I think it's an interesting discussion worth having from its complexities. It doesn't get much focus in many Nightmare adaptations at all.

The Doctor is overprotective and overbearing - as his expectations for Sally are not to join in on the Halloween celebrations (which is Halloween Town's most beloved time + purpose), and from that we can surmise that he doesn't allow her much freedom outside of the tower. His punishment to her is locking her in her room with a gigantic piece of wood over the door, for how long is undetermined, but it leads to Sally's escape being something drastic like jumping out of a window.

He treats Sally's restless behavior as a "phase that will pass", with enough "patience". But, really, what is Sally's 'restless behavior' beyond just wanting to go outside and join in on the fun? To meet people, to make friends? Dr. Finkelstein, whether intentionally or not, is trying to cage Sally and enforce that her 'acceptable' behavior is to be content living and serving him, and not seeking a life outside of him and the tower.

There is some emotional manipulation you can see in the movie between the Doctor and Sally, and it comes across a little more clearly in Caroline Thompson's Draft:

And abusers can be good or even well-liked people. The Doctor and Jack clearly have a friendship, or they at least get along well, as Jack comes to him for some lab equipment and seeks his help with the skeletal reindeer, and the Doctor is kind and welcoming to him in return. It's not really clear whether or not Jack *knows* how Sally is being treated at home, in both recent Nightmare books it's addressed and received badly by Jack (who wants to fix the situation), but it could be very easily guessed he may not notice anything if Sally doesn't talk about it and the Doctor presents nothing as wrong. (The Doctor does pull Sally away during Halloween, trying to be quiet about taking her back, so he may not want to make a scene with her and have others know their situation.)

Sally taking the initiative to escape on her own, to use her wits and learn special concoctions to poison Dr. Finkelstein with (a little morally-gray though), and re-sewing her dismembered limbs on is empowering and teaches us that you can overcome your obstacles. What she and the Doctor have is definitely far from a healthy relationship, and something some abused people can relate to - Finkelstein's emotional manipulations and caging Sally inside as a servant, and her poisoning and escaping him in response to these things.

I am glad Sally ends up freeing herself in the end, and that she finds a life away from Finkelstein. I like seeing Nightmare fan-material addressing what Sally has gone through and how she learns to heal + grow from her time with the Doctor, and I also like seeing the same for him in return, to treat his newer creation better and learn from his mistakes and become a better person through it. I don't think he's necessarily a 'villain' in any sense, but a person whose intentions and actions are abusive, as they cause much more harm than good.

[99corentine]

Afterword: Will there be a sequel to GHD?

After almost four years, GOL HAH DOV is finally a finished project. 50 chapters, just shy of 375K words (about 4-5 full novels’ worth of writing) and I don’t want to know how many hours of furiously typing, here we are at the finish line. As we started getting near the end a few people asked whether I was going to write a sequel, but the answer was too complex to put in an author’s note, so I thought I’d discuss it in more detail here.

Unfortunately, the short version of this is probably not, but let me explain why.

So, there are many things that could go in a sequel. Off the top of my head, I’ve yet to write about: the events of the Dawnguard DLC. The truth about Chrysanthe’s past. How they contend with Hermaeus Mora, who is still gunning for them. How the civil war unfolds when the First Dragonborn looks at both the Empire and Stormcloaks and says ‘nah, I’ll make my own faction’. How the Thalmor react to this. Miraak’s rise to power when he’s not allowed to use his mind control powers, and Chrysanthe’s general struggle to keep Miraak on a morally good path.

All of this could definitely make for another longfic but what I don’t have is any sort of romantic development. The trouble with writing a soulmates fic is that once the couple have overcome their personal issues, there’s very little further tension. Chrysanthe and Miraak actually got together very early in the fic (about chapter 12 out of 50) and the rest has been about them learning each other, becoming more intertwined… but I’m not really sure how they can get more intertwined, after the events of GHD. There are many external points of tension (politics, Thalmor, daedra) but there’s nothing internal - only Miraak’s dubious morality, but we already know that he’ll change his course for Chrysanthe, so what else is there to add?

Essentially, I can’t see how to further develop the relationship, and to me the romantic tension is what makes a fic worth writing. Without it, I just know that even if I started a GHD sequel, I wouldn’t have the enthusiasm to see it through to the end. Now that may change, and I might think of something new… but for the time being, I’m going to put GHD down and focus on other things.

Those other things are: 1) The Tav/Astarion Baldur’s Gate 3 longfic I’ve started, Tooth for a Tooth, which has all my attention at the minute. It’s darker than GHD but the protagonist has the same steely-stoic paladin vibe, so if you liked Chrysanthe you might like him too 2) A while ago I posted a fic idea in which the Last Dragonborn (Chrysanthe, or a totally new character) ends up in the past with pre-Apocrypha Miraak. Again this is a longfic that I’m not sure I really have the spoons for, but I’d say I’m more likely to write this than a GHD sequel 3) Various other bits and pieces, unfinished oldfics, etc.

I know that might be disappointing for some to read, but I hope my reasons make sense at least! And I hope that you still enjoy GOL HAH DOV as its own piece of work, and come back to read anything else that I might write in the future. Thank you again for coming on this Skyrim adventure with me!

[buckys-little-belle]

Oh my gosh I am OBSESSED with your new cg!Garret series! Can you please write a chapter where Joyce brings by cookies or something for a Hellfire meeting, and runs into little bunny, and El doesn’t understand that reader wants their regression to be a secret, and tells Joyce, and little bunny gets super embarrassed but then Joyce comforts them and tells them it’s okay🥺��

Hellfire Babysitting Club : The Sequel (Part Three)

Pick-Up Problems

Gareth Emerson x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns used) / The Hellfire Club x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns used)

Notes - THIS IDEA HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR FOREVER, please know that this request really brought a spark back when it comes to writting <3. I really hope that you like it Bub!!!

Warnings - Little Bunny is "Outed" as a little by El, obviously that might be very touchy for some, please keep that in mind going forward. Very very brief mentions of not great home life, as well as possible Jim Hopper intervention. (It's very vague, and will not be talked about in detail. Please know that it isn't meant to be purposefully triggering, and is just a background theme) fluff, lotssssss of fluff

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW

. ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ .

The first week of school had gone well, Y/n sticking by Gareth's side as the others learned more about them. Everyone realizing how shy, quiet, and weary their Little Bunny was, and how opposite they were from Little Terror.

The second week of school had been a bit all over the place. Everyone immediately signed up to babysit Little Bunny at school, some choices were easy for Gareth to make. Though El was new to everything she would take Y/n for the first period of the day because they shared an english class. Then Dustin would take over for the second period, his Tech Design class right next to Y/n's math class. Gareth selfishly didn't let anyone take anymore shifts off him, keep Little Bunny to himself for both lunch, and the rest of the day.

He kept telling himself he would give more people the opportunity to take care of Y/n, but he wanted to know Y/n better than everyone else. Hence the obnoxious amount of questions Little Bunny was asked at lunch, during Study Hall, and on the way to science.

"What's your favourite type of juice? Colour? Movie? Class subject? Food? Store? Do you have lot's of toys? Does anyone know you're a little? If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

And even though he did a good job asking fun questions, plus a few insightful ones, he never asked how they would get home after a DnD meeting. The club met after school and Y/N took the bus.

Little Bunny also never asked, which they regretted as they stood outside the school, their sweater pulled close, backpack sagging, wondering how long it would take to walk.

"Hi there." A sweet voice called, Y/n's eyes meeting the voice's owner as they took a step back. "I'm Joyce, Will and El's mom." She explained after noticing Y/n's confusion.

"Mom!" El called out as she ran over to hug her. "You've met our baby." El beamed.

"Your baby?" Joyce's brow furrowed.

"Yes, Y/n sometimes feels like a baby, so we take care of them." El smiled as she walked to Y/n reaching to hold their hand. "I call them Little Cheese Fingers."

"Oh." Joyce's reaction worried Y/n, the look of confusion feeding into their fear of people finding out. Y/n was about to pull their hand out of El's before Joyce spoke again. "Did Eddie start the Babysitting club again?" She asked with a smile.

"No, but Gareth did." Y/n felt a weight rise of their shoulder as El spoke. "I get to watch Y/n during english." The way she spoke so happily about her duty made Y/n smile, the fear of being a burden dispersing.

"Well Y/n." Joyce began. "Are you waiting for a parent to pick you up?" She asked, as if she just knew Y/n was momentarily stranded.

"No." Little Bunny whispered, Y/n's hand slipping from El's as they suddenly felt alone again. "'m on my own." They held back their tears.

"They take the same bus as us." Will suddenly chimed in, Mike and Dustin following after.

"Okay then it's settled." Joyce wrapped an arm around her son. "You can get a ride home with El and Will." She smiled. "Me or their dad will pick you up, okay?" Y/n nodded their head quickly. "And you two." She pointed to her children. "Better make sure Y/n is safe on the bus." She pulled out her stern voice and it made everyone giggle.

"Yes, Mom." Will rolled his eyes. "They take turns sitting beside me and El." He assured her.

"Y/n likes me more, I give them candy." El accidently gave away her secret weapon, Mike scoffing.

"Really?" He looked at El, then Y/n. "All I have to do is give you candy? Then you'll like me?" His tone was goofy, his eyebrows raised.

"I like choc chips more." Y/n smiled shyly, still uneasy around all the new people, but trying hard to embrace the change.

"Cookies I can do." Mike crossed his arms and smiled, a silent promise to arrive the next day and earn Y/n's friendship.

"You know, Max has a really good cookie recipe." Dustin mumbled. "Maybe Lucas will let us crash his date." Before his sentence was even finished him and Mike began running over to where Lucas and Gareth were chatting.

"Is everyone ready to go?" Joyce laughed.

"Wait!" Gareth yelled out of breath. "I didn't get to say goodbye." He raised a fist for both El and Will to bump, but when he got to Y/n they ran into his arms instead. "Goodbye to you too." He laughed, his arms wrapping around his Little Bunny.

"Do you have everything you need for Y/n?" Joyce's stern tone rung out.

"Yes, Mrs H, we still have lots of stuff left over from Little Terror." Gareth looked down to Y/n who's head was still smushed against his shirt. "Actually does your store have sippy cups?"

"Sippy cups?"

"I know it sounds odd, but ever since Little Terror somehow got juice on the ceiling, handing this one a juice box freaks me out."

"The ceiling?" Will cut in.

"Dude Little Terror once got so much ketchup on Eddie's shirt he had to throw it out. And he wore stained shirts more than he wore clean ones." Gareth added, suddenly very thankful for Y/n's calm demeanor.

"Yes, we have sippy cups, and forks with soft ends, as well as baby wipes." Joyce listed out everything she thought might be useful.

"Great, I'll make sure to stop by." He went to take a step back and walk to his own car, but Y/n clung on. "I've got to go Bunny." He chuckled.

"Me too." The managed to say, their words muffled by Gareth's shirt.

"I have candy." El yelled from the car, Y/n's head suddenly lifted. "Told you it works." She said as Will rolled his eyes and Y/n ran towards them.

"They're very sweet." Joyce smiled as she watched her kids help Y/n get comfortable. "You should come over for dinner more often, and bring Y/n. They look like they could use some more company." she said solemnly.

"Yeah about that." Gareth scratched the back of his neck. "Could you ask Jim to swing by my house after his shift?"

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a few questions, that's all."

[hongyueg]

'The Reckoning of Roku' Review

The Reckoning of Roku

By Randy Ribay

Genre: young adult, fantasy

Content Warnings: death, grief, colonization

Description: “A young Avatar Roku has only just commenced his training at the Southern Air Temple when his erstwhile friend, Prince Sozin, requests his aid in preventing the Earth Kingdom from claiming a remote Fire Nation island. Despite his inexperience, Avatar Roku slips away with the help of an irritating young Airbender named Gyatso. As the reluctant companions delve deeper into their wayward mission, they begin to realize that even greater threats lie ahead. Plagued by self-doubt but eager to prove himself, Roku fights for his life and the lives of others while ensuring that the hidden secret of the island doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

After reading the previous Chronicles of the Avatar books, and liking them a lot, particularly the Yangchen duology, I was very excited to read The Reckoning of Roku and see another author tackle the Avatar-world in novel format. Overall, I liked The Reckoning of Roku. The characters were very entertaining, the plot was intriguing, and the book does a nice job setting up the themes and events we know Roku will face later on in his life. I have some complicated feelings toward how one of the antagonists was handled and a death that occurs later in the novel, but in general, I find this book enjoyable.

What I enjoyed:

-Just like the original show and the Kyoshi and Yangchen duologies, this book creates heartwarming and heartwrenching character dynamics and relationships. Ribay especially does a good job providing more depth to both Roku and Sozin’s and Roku and Gyatso’s friendships. As someone who recently went through a life transition that meant moving away from some of my closest friends, I could really relate to Roku as he navigated leaving his childhood best friend behind. Additionally, I am impressed by how the novel humanizes Sozin while making you hate him more. Sozin’s storyline reminded me a lot of Snow’s in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and I would be interested in seeing where it continues in the sequel. Gyatso was wonderful in this book and I appreciated learning more about his past and seeing him interact with Roku and a new character named Malaya. I especially loved how Gyatso got to be his own person in this novel and not just Roku’s Airbender friend. Also, Ta Min completely stole the show in every chapter she was in. I hope we get to see more of her in the sequel!

-Speaking of Malaya, I wanted to acknowledge how her character helped challenge some problematic tropes in adventure and travel stories. In this book, Malaya, at first glance, stands in for the stereotypical and often racist caricature of the “friendly Indigenous guide.” Yet, almost every scene where she interacts with outsiders is written from her perspective, forcing non-Indigenous readers to challenge their own biases and assumptions within this story as well as in similar narratives. Additionally, since so much of the novel is from Malaya’s perspective, we can really see her own agency in her decision-making and see her growth as a character going from beginning to question her own leader to fighting to protect her clan while choosing to explore beyond her home.

-In terms of themes, I appreciated what this novel had to say about grief both in terms of grieving the death of a person and also about grieving changing relationships with one’s friends and allegiances. Detachment is a word that pops up a lot in this novel and the book does a great job of challenging what it means to detach and exploring how we can have healthy attachments to the people and places that are no longer in our lives.

-The worldbuilding additions in this book were fascinating! I enjoyed learning more about Air Nomad and Fire Island cultures and it was neat seeing how the author weaved his own Filipino culture into the story.

What I thought could be better:

First, as a note, it’s very hard to talk about my critiques of the book while avoiding spoilers, so please take this as your spoiler warning.

-[Spoiler Alert] I have complicated feelings about how Ulo was handled in the novel. On one hand, I appreciated how Ulo’s storyline showcases the importance of holding all leaders accountable. Just because a leader is from a marginalized identity and claims to be making decisions to protect their communities does not mean they are exempt from being corrupt or abusing their own people consciously or unconsciously. On the other hand, since we are mainly seeing Ulo through the eyes of Roku and Malaya, the novel seems intent on making readers distrust Ulo’s position toward outsiders without delving into the complexity of his order to kill all outsiders. Ulo is also the primary character in the story who outright discusses a fear of colonization, a fear that is proven true by the end of the book. It seems like the book is trying to both give complexity to Ulo while still retaining him as an antagonist without truly delving into his motivations and the source of his fears. Maybe if Ulo had just been given a couple of chapters from his perspective, his storyline would have felt more like a complex examination of leaders living under the threat of colonization rather than a muddled commentary.

-I also have complicated feelings regarding Malaya’s death. On one hand, I appreciated that the scene is written from her perspective, allowing readers to recognize her agency in her decision to try to assassinate Sozin. Her decision also reflects her growth in her ability to stand up to corrupt leaders. On the other hand, her death appears to be used to emphasize Sozin’s paranoia and cruelty, characteristics readers already know he possesses. While her death does add to the grief plotline of the book, it still feels somewhat unnecessary since we already see Gyatso and Roku grow in terms of their understandings of grief even before she dies. This leads to her death feeling like the book is killing off its only Indigenous, female point-of-view character to showcase the male characters’ cruelty and growth. [End Spoiler Alert]

Despite my complicated feelings regarding some of the book’s plotlines, I enjoyed The Reckoning of Roku overall. I loved seeing Roku, Gyatso, Ta Min, and even Sozin receive more characterization and it was a lot of fun meeting new characters like Malaya and Sister Disha. What this book had to say about grief was powerful and I can’t wait to see where these characters and themes go in the sequel! I recommend the book to any Avatar fan looking for an exciting adventure.

[that-sw-writer]

Hiii, could I please request for kylo ren where they childhood sweethearts and now they're fighting on diff sides of the war and just ALOTTTT of angst. Maybe the reader finally realising that kylo is in too deep with the dark side??

Thxx 🩷

Thanks for requesting this! It was fun to write!! I did get a bit carried away with the length of it but we move

Word count: 2630

Warnings: heavy angst, totally made-up sequels timeline, sadder than I intended

MASTERLIST

Ghosts of the Past

How had it come to this? Years spent together, learning, growing, falling in love... all of it, corrupted by dark side of the Force. You and Ben Solo had dreamt of a future together, but where you had once dreamt of a utopia, you now found yourself living in a grim dystopia.

You had tried to forget him, but avoidance was impossible when his face was plastered across the galaxy on First Order propaganda. Each holovid or poster was a painful reminder of everything you had lost. It was heart-wrenching.

Eventually, destiny had reached you, just as it had reached Ben all of those years ago when he took on the name Kylo Ren. The Resistance had used Luke Skywalker's old notes from the early days of his Jedi Temple and managed to track you down. It wasn't an unwelcome invitation to join them, you had always wanted to fight the good fight, after all, that's what Jedi were supposed to do. Your real, and only, concern was that you knew eventually this path would lead you face-to-face with the one person you couldn't stomach confronting. Perhaps Ben knew you were alive, perhaps he didn't. Did he still care about you? You never let yourself dwell on these thoughts for too long. You couldn't bear it. 

You felt fulfilled working with the Resistance. It was nice to know that you were making a difference to lives in the galaxy and you hoped that Luke would be proud of your efforts. Most of your time and energy went into working with Rey, helping her to become the Jedi she was destined to be. You were terrified of facing Kylo Ren, not knowing if you could face having to fight him. The least you could do was prepare Rey for that fight.

When the Resistance intercepted intel that Supreme Leader Ren would be planet-side, a snap decision was made to send an agent out to face him and end the First Order once and for all. Your heart dropped when Leia asked you to go instead of Rey. You knew Rey was far from ready. You knew you were the only one capable of facing him. And yet, it didn't make it sting any less.

'General, I don't know if I can do this.' You words were shaky at the mere thought of it.

'I know what I'm asking you to do, believe me. I wish it could be somebody else, and I'm sorry that it has to be you... but this is the only way.' There was rich emotion in the way Leia addressed you. She had known you since you and Ben had been together at the temple. She had been so excited at the prospect of her son falling in love with somebody like you, and she had treated you as one of her own since the day she met you. Now, all those years later, that hadn't changed. To Leia, you were family, and it broke her heart knowing the weight she was putting on your shoulders. But this wasn't just about you, it was about the galaxy. Deep down, you knew the truth. Leia hoped that you could pull her son back from the brink. Of course, the thought had crossed your mind countless times, but you had always hesitated to really consider it. The glaring fact was that Ben Solo could be lost and Kylo Ren all that remains. You weren't sure what would break you more, living in false hope or adjusting to a crushing reality.

'What if I can't bring him back?' Your voice was barely a whisper, and Leia's gaze hardened, but beneath her facade you could see tears brimming.

'Then you need to do what's best for the galaxy. We may never get this opportunity again.'

You repeated Leia's words like a mantra as your soared through hyperspace, nothing but your overbearing thoughts for company. You had to do this. You could save countless lives by defeating him. You may even be able to sway him back towards the light. Perhaps it was selfish to want him back so desperately. He had done awful things during his reign, but somewhere beneath the void of darkness was Ben Solo, the only man you had ever loved.

The intel you had was scarce, and that did little to comfort the persistent churning of your stomach as you approached Coruscant. Sources had informed the Resistance that Kylo Ren was visiting the planet with a battalion of troopers in an effort to restore order to the planet that was once the centre of the galaxy. Having been aligned with the First Order for some years, lawless groups had begun to overrun the core world; groups that only the Supreme Leader was powerful enough to bring to heel. The abundance of pirates and gangs was something you hoped to use to your advantage, not that you had entirely settled on your plan yet. You knew that stealth was the safest option. Sneak in, neutralise the Supreme Leader, sneak out and let them think that a rogue faction killed him. If only it were that simple... You would never forgive yourself if you didn't at least give him a chance.

As the hazy skies of Coruscant swept into your view, your gaze fell what you recognised as the abandoned Jedi temple - you recognised it from Master Skywalker's old Jedi texts. Attachment had once been a sin amongst Jedi, they saw it as a slippery path to the dark side. Ironic. Now, attachment was the only hope you had at returning Kylo Ren to the light.

You landed your ship in a public docking bay on the lower levels. Many were coming and going, it was an easy place to blend. Kylo Ren and his troops had been rumoured to be landing and starting their reclamation on level 5009 - they would start with the wealthier districts and work their way down. The lower levels were more than accustomed to the lawlessness that the whole planet was now enduring. You donned a simple hooded cloak as a disguise and began to slip through the crowds, using the Force to guide you towards the unmistakable signature of Ben Solo. The warm comfort that Ben's Force signature used to bring you was slowly ebbing away, a shiver ran down your spine the longer you locked onto his essence.

As you manoeuvred higher through the levels of Coruscant, your heart began to ache. Not because of what you were about to face, but because of what could have been. You pictured yourself roaming the upper levels with Ben, hand-in-hand as the sun set. Him with a rare smile on his face, you with a look of gratitude on yours. You had always sat together and spoken about all of the worlds you would one day explore. He used to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, tell you he couldn't wait to spend his life with you and then plant the most gentle of kisses on your lips. How could you not have seen it? Maybe if you had known he was being swayed by the dark side you could have helped him.

'You need to do what's best for the galaxy.' You focused your mind, repeating Leia's mantra. This wasn't about healing your wounds, it was about saving lives. You were just worried that you would destroy yourself in the process.

The reflection of shining white armour caught your gaze and snapped you out of your thoughts. You had found them. Small patrols of Stormtroopers littered level 4999 - Kylo was moving quickly through the insurgents. You had never known him to be so brutal. After spending a few moments studying the patrol patterns, you targeted a pair of troopers who were out of sync with the larger squadron. Throwing yourself in front of them, you tapped into the Force before they had a chance to react and used it to manipulate their actions. 'I am your prisoner; an insurgent who threatened to break the peace. You will take me to the Supreme Leader.'

'We will take you to the Supreme Leader.' Both troopers, now under your influence, spoke in unison. Playing the part, you placed your hands behind your back and one took ahold of your wrists as they marched you through the streets. You tried to hide your horror as you watched other troopers rounding up citizens and pirates alike, treating every living being as a criminal. Your fingers itched to grab your lightsaber from beneath your cloak and rescue the innocents, but you knew there was a bigger task at hand. You couldn't risk losing the element of surprise.

Your heart was pounding the closer you felt yourself drawing to Kylo, so much so you wondered if you would pass out before you got there. Your head was swimming. The last time you had seen him you had been in his arms, saying farewell before you went on an extended mission off-world. When you had returned, the temple had been demolished, Luke was nowhere to be found, and neither was the man who had your heart. It was only after that you found out the truth. He had been the one to destroy the temple... he had betrayed everything you stood for.

'Supreme Leader, we have captured an insurgent.' The troopers marched you to an isolated area where there was only a figure, cloaked in veil of darkness. You kept your head low, shielding your Force signature as your stared at his boots. Panic was setting in, there was every chance you would freeze when you saw his face. 

'I told you not to take prisoners.' He growled, 'stop wasting my time and kill her.' 

You bit back the overwhelming emotion you felt at hearing his voice and raised your head. 'I asked them to bring me here... to you.' Pulling your hood away from your face, your gaze met his and you nearly crumbled on the spot. His deep brown gaze was swimming with a darkness you weren't used to seeing, but what he couldn't mask was the flash of recognition upon seeing your face. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

'Leave us.' He eventually said, his tone losing its edge from his earlier command. The troopers scurried off and the pair of you were left standing in silence, like two monuments of a time once lost. After an eternity of heavy silence, he finally spoke. 'I thought you were dead.'

'It would be easier if I were.' Your voice was weak, but your stance remained solid. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment. Standing before him now, Leia's mantra was lost to you. You were either leaving here with him, or not at all.

'You shouldn't have come here.' His warning was delivered with a tone of remorse. 

'I didn't want to. I wasn't sure I could face you.' You took a moment to study his face. A deep scar cut through the middle of it and a hard-set frown seemed to constantly rest on it. But he was still your Ben. You still loved him.

'And now?' He was reading you the same way you were reading him, you could tell.

'Now I just want you back.' A hand tentatively reached up to rest on his cheek, but he grabbed your wrist before it could make contact. Your world shattered.

'I don't have such weaknesses anymore.' He was stone cold in his address.  Your mouth went dry. A weakness? That's all you were to him now. He had the face of the man you loved, but Ben Solo was gone. What was left was a shell of the man you had grown up with.

'How can you say that? After everything we've been through?' You spluttered, nearly choking on your own words. The world felt like it was closing in around you - this couldn't be happening.

'We have been through nothing. You're an echo of someone else's past, not mine.' Upon hearing his words, your resolve only hung on by a thread. Despite all of your mantras and focus, you had been too optimistic that this mission would end in Ben coming home with you.

'Ben, please-' you hadn't expected the words to erupt from your mouth, but your lungs were feeling tighter by the second. It wasn't real.

'That is not my name!' He roared, pushing you back with the force in a violent flurry. Having not been prepared for the attack, you flew backwards, slamming against a wall. 'Ben Solo is dead!' You hauled yourself to your feet, ignoring the stabbing pain in your back.

'If that were true, why am I still alive? You said yourself that I shouldn't have come here. If you didn't care for me you would've killed me on the spot.' The pain had helped you regain some of your composure. You could feel the conflict within him. The dark side clouded his judgement, but maybe you could break through.

He faltered at your words, but shook his head after a few moments. 'I was giving you a chance to walk away, not a mistake I'll make twice.'

'I can't walk away, not without you.' Your tone was laced with conviction, 'I love you, Leia loves you. I don't want to be apart of this war anymore, I just want you to come home. Please, Kylo, come back to me.' You made a conscious effort not to use Ben's name again. Perhaps speaking to him as Kylo Ren was the only way you could appeal to him.

'My home is with the First Order. I will rule the galaxy. I feel nothing for you, I feel nothing for my mother. I have given everything I have to the dark side.' He remained still, the dark energy coming off him in waves. It felt like the Force was playing a sick joke on you, poking fun at the Jedi who thought she could turn Kylo Ren back to the light. Your knees buckled, grief overcoming you. Ben Solo was dead. You lost.

'If that's true, then I have no place in this galaxy anymore.' You whispered, your voice breaking.

'No.' He approached you, solemn as ever. 'You don't.' As grief continued to wash over you, you couldn't bite back the tears that began to fall. Not because you were scared of what was to come, but because you couldn't bear the guilt of losing Ben Solo to the dark side. You had failed. Failed Ben, failed Leia, failed yourself. The more you tried, the more you felt the imposing essence of the dark side, wrapping around Kylo like a viper, ready to strike at any threats. There was nothing left for you in this galaxy anymore. The hope of regaining what you had lost had kept you going for all of these years, but you had never considered a path outside of that.

The crackling hum Kylo's lightsaber rumbled by your ear. Your body was stone, even if you had wanted to reach for your lightsaber to defend yourself, you couldn't. All you could do was close your eyes and let the Force whisk you away to a time where everything could have been different.

'I love you.' Ben's words were music to your ears. You looked up at him, beaming from ear to ear.

'I know.' You leaned up to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. 'I love you too, more than anything. I won't be gone long, I'll be back before you know it.'

'Anytime apart from you is too long.' His words were muffled as he buried his face in your hair.

'It's a good job we have the rest of our lives then.' Your lips met in another passionate kiss.

It was the future that should've been. You and Ben against the world, needing nothing but each other.

Instead, your world ended in a vicious flash of red.

[andromeda4004]

Thoughts about Season 3 (and why Season 2 exists at all)

That makes it sound like i didn't enjoy S2 - I did, even the ending, once I'd recovered. But I had some thoughts which might be interesting for people who haven't read the original GO book, or who read it after seeing S1, because I think some of the differences might be easier to miss like that. [Spoilers below, obviously]

Neil said when he started talking about S2 that it would exist to bridge the gap between where GO the book ended and the sequel would have begun, had they ever written it. And this is interesting, because why would the TV series need to tell 6 episodes worth of bridging story when the books didn't? Certainly there are story details that can be told better or more efficiently in narrative or on screen, because they're very different media, but I don't think that accounts for a whole series.

The thing is, the book and S1 end in very different places. In S1, we get the dramatic trials, the triumphant reunion, the confidence that our boys are on their own side now. In the book, our boys never quit their jobs. The whole exchange from the book (which Neil replaced with the trials for dramatic effect) reads like this:

Crowley gave him a sideways look.

‘Your people been in touch?’ he said.

‘No. Yours?’

‘No.’

‘I think they’re pretending it didn’t happen.’

‘Mine too, I suppose. That’s bureaucracy for you.’

That's it; the boys suffer no consequences for their actions (possibly because their actions were a bit less effective in the book, they show up to try to avert the apocalypse and put together one distracting conversation, but Adam and the humans do the actual work). More importantly, they haven't quit and they haven't been fired; there's no reason to think they won't continue to receive assignments once Heaven and Hell get to grips with the continued existence of the world. There is no "our side". So if S3 is to follow what the book's sequel was going to cover, S2 had to get us back to where the book left off, with our boys on opposite sides, so that Aziraphale can be tasked with organising the Second Coming (and hopefully screw it up as badly as Crowley did the baby swap).

So my view is that, in giving us the trials as a very satisfying ending to a stand-alone series, Neil actually painted himself into an awkward corner when it came to the sequel, and had to use S2 to get the characters back where they needed to be.

All that said, here are some things I'm hoping for in S3. Some of these might be mutually exclusive but that's fine, any assortment is good:

Crowley reads some Jane Austen, and learns how humans work through arguments (i.e. through meaningful apology and personal growth, not by sleeping for 80 years).

Aziraphale has a series of increasingly disappointing experiences in Heaven, which lead him to finally resolve his persistent difficulty with the concept of "good" not lining up with his personal morality of what is "right". Perhaps he has a chat with Jesus about it, I'm guessing he would have an interesting perspective on this.

Metatron had to get Aziraphale back on side because he is the angel Israfil, who in Islamic tradition is the one who sounds the final trumpet (there's a fantastic meta post about this somewhere on here and I would love that to be true).

Crowley goes back to Hell. I know this one's controversial, but we've never seen Crowley actually lean into his demonic nature, and there's a vacancy Below too, right? And it would really add some weight to the inevitable love confession if Aziraphale has to admit that he loves Crowley warts and scales and horns and all, not because he's clinging to the memory of an angel who doesn't exist.

One of the residents of Soho is revealed as having been an undercover demon watching the bookshop. There's just too many slightly odd moments in S2 that feel like they're foreshadowing something.

Anyway, there's my assorted thoughts; I'd love to hear yours.