#i really enjoy both the variety of things im doing and watching all the pieces get used

[ashleygraves-number1defender]

This art is so cuteeee 🥰 fav BOP is a very tough choice but Eurasian Kestrel! The reasoning is in the tags because I intended it to be a short explanation and wound up rambling, oopsie

Heres my girlie and the main reason behind the favouritism lol; she’s a year and a half old Eurasian Kestrel and owns my heart and soul! (Last pic was with her juvenile plumage)

american kestrel

tell me your favorite bird of prey :-)

[stjeromeshospital]

HIIIII!!!!! Im late as hell but, before i get to the art request thing: Ive always been curious about what inspired you to make a lot of your ocs? Like what SPARKED that idea, if anything in particular? Especially for characters like Laika and Audrey!

Also…. Here is my creature son…… I thought you might enjoy him :)

HI MALCALM. i want to say before anything im rlly obsessed bc i think u n me are on the same page in regards to character design that guy with long sharp feature is awesome. like his face shape im obsessed eith i just notice that. i really do fucking love this character design it was fun to draw i need to draw mkre of your chars i never got around to during artfight i can say we both burnt out LAWL

thats a hard quastion but i love you for asking it ehmm its hard because i really dont know i just kind of look at art all the time and what people make and watch and experience and read stuff and 1 small piece of something inspires you until you collect enough small pieces to make 1 big thing. i get inspired by lots of stuff and tuck away whatever i like to use later or i just think alot. these days i dont really have very many OCs that are just "mine" anymore most if not all of them start off as fandom chars and i just make them more complicated until its not abt that anymore. audrey and delainey ar the only characters that i have these days that dont stem from fandom even laika actually is a fan character for my buddy henry's original universe. i like stuff i like what people make and i like that people make things and i like to dance around in them and make stuff up too YAY!

the idea for laika really only exists as it does because of the freedom of the universe theyre in, i wanted to make a character design that is complete nonsense and a premise that i like and think is fun without the restraint of grounding or rulesets, their entire being is based in "i think it would be fun if" and their design is entirely self indulgent. audrey is a different story because he is the oldest character i have and have had, he's gone through a variety of design changes and in fact did not even have a human design until i started posting him on this blog, he had existed for years and years before that. but also he is exactly like laika because he is my MOST self indulgent oc and i do whatever i want to him. having ocs is about smashing them together like barbie

[savindeku]

i’ve gotten back into my anime grind mindset and have watched a lot of series back to back - after being an anime fan for now 5ish years, i love to reflect on what my preferences are, it’s helpful for combing through recs and just generally deciding what is worth my time while also trying to make time for some classics. i try to be intentional when im searching and rework my “to watch list” frequently!

i’ve found that i tend to really enjoy things that fall into these semi-specific categories (they are not strict, more just ways that i’ve grouped together series in my head for fun!):

mysteries with comedic flair (ex: apothecary diaries, hyouka, link click)

dystopian / sci fi with a bit of social commentary/political intrigue (ex: NGE, eighty-six, terror in resonance, cowboy bebop)

good ole’ action (ex: demon slayer, bungo stray dogs, jjk, hxh)

and of course i’d say some things fall into multiple categories - BSD to me can be both mystery and action. and there’s also some that i think don’t fall into these at all! i finally watched Monster this year and it’s definitely a favorite of mine. i could see it hitting the mystery mark but i think it overall maintains its seriousness and suspense - versus a show like apothecary diaries or even angel beats (which i think also falls into my mystery category), both don’t take themselves too seriously and include various comedic tropes.

side note: maybe a sub category here would also be “anime with different story lines that intersect at given points” - I think of Baccano, FMAB, 91 days, perhaps Monster fits best here. Baccano in particular encapsulates what I am trying to define here - my favorite element of that show was the way we followed so many different characters and got bits and pieces from different perspectives rather than from a single main character. it made the intersections and interactions all the more satisfying.

i think the dystopian / sci fi category is more vague and broad (on purpose) - terror in resonance isn’t classified on MAL as either but to me still hits that mark of “government doing shady things” haha so that’s where i placed it! that anime in particularly is another favorite and ive found that i do love a story line where there is some kind of armed resistance — or at least, involves commentary on things like war, oppression, repression, and the like. i think these topics might be what unifies this category more than anything else.

there may be 4th category here which would be of the “slice of life” variety - i’ve found that i am starting to enjoy these! for example, fruits basket, insomniacs after school, sasaki and miyano. when i first got into anime, slice of life was a bit harder for me to get into - it didn’t hold my attention and most of the time, i wasn’t interested in romance focused story line with het pairings (one of few i can think of that i finished was Say I Love You). i think this is ultimately where more dramatic or mysterious elements shine for me - so of course something like fruit basket, violet evergarden, yona of the dawn were great entry points. i recently watched romantic killer and insomniacs after school - both of which caught me by surprise with how much i enjoyed them! i think slice of life can be fun when the show has identified what makes it stand out. and also as someone who generally likes anime of the more intense kind, these shows also serve as a reset with some wholesome enjoyment.

honorary mention to some more anime i love but not quite sure where i would place them: mob psycho 100, soul eater, death parade, no. 6, nana. i could go on and on but i’ll leave it at that! i’ve got such a long watch list haha but hoping to continue to prioritize things i’ve wanted to watch for awhile and find ones that maybe align better with my interest in this moment.

[noodlegirl-googlyeyes]

hey! im noodle, or Ellie, and i was tagged to answer some questions abt myself by the wonderful and very rad @theprocfilesystem, thank you so much!

relationship status: single and not at all looking. i don't know if i ever will be, tbh, mostly just because i don't see myself as the kind of person who would want to. but, since it's late, i'll go ahead and overshare that i do have a regular hookup going with my main gal lliJ (im left handed) that meets my needs for sexual expression quite adequately

favorite color: for a long time it was deep purple! it was my sadboy color for sure. now that im a girl, though, it just feels sad, so i decided my favorite color would be yellow! so, yeah, its yellow :>

favorite food: carne adovada, a New Mexican dish made with Hatch red chile and (usually)pork! red chiles are dried and ground, as opposed to the green variety, which is usually roasted fresh. sauces made with red chile tend to have a very dark, smoky flavor, and have a particularly exquisite spice to them. there are many varieties of a protein in a sauce eaten in/on some carbs, but a carne adovada burrito really stands alone, for me <3

the song stuck in my head: unfortunately, it's 'Hip to Fuck Bees'

the last thing i searched online: i had to start typing in the word 'etiquette' because i couldn't remember how to spell it, but the last actual search i made was 'wired switch controller'(im just gonna get the gamecube style one probs)

the time right now: 11 pm exactly

dream trip: honestly it's less about the location and more about me being somewhere with someone who knows the area and culture well. partially it's because i won't enjoy anything if i don't feel safe, and/or if i feel alone, and partially because i hate being a tourist. i just wanna be there.

something i want: ive wanted to get a PC for awhile, it's been years since i had one. it doesn't have to be super fancy, just something that can handle a half-decent DAW and, like, be able to play my metroidvanias (lone fungus is out now btw and it looks amazing!) cherry on top would be someone to help me get started using linux, bc windows and apple can both go fuck each other.

thanks again for tagging me UwU i appreciate u! i would like to nominate @star-crossed-animals , @spoopyscaryalien , @dominoscarsidedelivery and @zoeadrien but u dont have to if u dont want to! also if u wanna do these kinds of games but no one ever tags u, u always have my permission to say i tagged u :>

in addition i'm adding another question: whats a piece of media(book, movie, show, album/song, etc.) that you feel represents you or an aspect of you that you haven't seen a lot of representation for? i know it's kind of wordy, sorry. but for example, mine is bojack horseman. when i was deep in my dark times, there were so many things about myself i hated. i started watching the show around season two, and i saw some of those parts of me in bojack in a way i'd never really seen before in media. in diane i saw some too, as well as some of the things i'd forgotten i loved about myself, but it was mostly bojack. he is not a good character, or role model, and the fact that i related so much to him was disturbing, sure, but also strangely comforting at the time. as the show continued to air, i grew as a person. i never finished the last season. by the time it came out, my values had diverged so much from his that it was kind of hard to watch. and for all my mistakes, i'm so proud of who i am today compared to that lost, lonely, angry figure slowly torturing himself to death.

like i said, its late so im oversharing lmao anyways ty again and peas and love on planat earf ✌️

[im-still-a-robot]

Another 6 hours, aced! I am more powerful than the hobby knife.

I spent 5 hours with a hobby knife and have sustained 0 injuries. I'm getting a good grade in hand eye coordination and respect for sharp objects

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

A Match Set

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Pairing: Benny Watts x Reader

Summary: After meeting one night in New York, you and Benny Watts are drawn to each other. As you go through different experiences with one another, you grow closer until it finally gets to be too much for Benny.

Word Count: 1890

Warnings: none

Notes: aye this is my first fic because there is a serious lack of benny watts fics and i had to change that for myself. this will probably be multiple chapters that can be read separately.

It was your first art gallery, and you were both anxious and overjoyed to see people surveying your work. You had put so many hours into each piece and all kinds of people had poured in to look. It was a well known gallery, but the variety still surprised you. You looked around and saw some interesting characters, but your interest was piqued when your eyes fell upon a particular cowboy.

He was inspecting one of your favorite paintings which had chess pieces as the subject. The pieces merely served as part of a metaphor in your art, as the game and all its complexities had never really been your thing. As you looked closer at the man you realized that, not only had his outfit sparked your interest, but he seemed familiar too. Out of curiosity, you walked over and stood next to him.

“What are your thoughts?” You asked, motioning towards the painting.

His initial expression showed surprise that you were talking to him, but he recovered quickly, saying, “It’s good. I think the artist has talent.” You felt a bit of pride hearing that. You opened your mouth to say thanks, but you decided not to reveal yourself. You wanted him to give his honest opinion without fear of offending you.

“So do you like chess?” He nodded to the painting. Hearing this you made the connection as to why you remembered seeing him before. Your father owned a little bookshop back home and you were looking into chess for the same painting you were discussing right now. You had seen this cowboy on the back of one of those books, but you hadn’t given it another thought, never actually expecting to meet him. You decided not to reveal this information either and continued with the conversation.

“I can play a modest game. You?”

“I can play a modest game.” He had a small smile as he shrugged.

“Your first lie.” You said smirking back.

He looked confused but curious, so you explained about your research, your fathers bookshop, the whole story. He puffed up a bit after hearing that, looking impressed that you knew who he was.

“What’s your name?” He asked, still curious.

“Y/n” you replied.

“Nice name. I’m Benny, but you already seem to know who I am. On the other hand I don’t know anything about you.” He reached out his hand to shake yours.

“You walk in here with a black trench coat but you make me out to be the mysterious one,” you smirked as you took his hand. He chuckled a bit, and after your introduction, you asked why he was here.

“My friend knows the artist actually. She told us we had to see her work before going out.” You hummed as you thought about what to say, but he interjected.

“I don’t usually do this, and I’m not sure why I’m doing this now, but maybe you’d consider coffee with me. I won’t tell anymore lies” he joked.

You laughed a little, mildly shocked. “you’re not sure why? That’s flattering” you teased.

“Not what I meant-“ but before you could come to a conclusion on his sudden offer, you heard an excited french accent.

“Y/n! Im so proud! You finally got to show off all that talent!” Your friend Cleo ran up to you and wrapped her arms around you. You hadn’t seen her since you lived in France for a few months and you had missed her. You left for France after you realized you weren’t really needed at home, so you dedicated yourself to trying to soak up some culture. She looked gorgeous like you remembered, fitting for a model. You continued your reunion embrace for a moment before she waved her arms to the men and woman behind her. She introduced the friends she had brought to your show as Arthur, Hilton, and Annette, who all smiled at you. Cleo paused to turn to the cowboy saying, “I see you’ve already met Benny.”

“Yeah we met,” he said, “but I didn’t know this was your work. I would’ve told you how impressed I am.” Your cheeks turned a light pink at the praise.

“Look at Benny, impressed with someone besides himself for once.”Cleo poked fun and the group let out a laugh.

“Hey I’m not a narcissist or anything, don’t listen to Cleo,” Benny made excuses to you, only mildly offended.

“Sure you aren’t. I have nothing against narcissists,” you jokingly assured him. This answer didn’t comfort the man who had essentially just asked you on a date.

You and Cleo continued to catch up and you talked more with her friends as well. Benny just stood next to you, and you caught him glancing at you once or twice, but you just ignored it. Eventually you agreed to go out for drinks with the group, walking with them to a bar a couple blocks down called Hal’s.

You all squeezed into a booth while Arthur went off to get drinks. You sat on the outside, watching the people out on the floor next to you giggling and dancing. Having a couple of drinks beforehand must’ve contributed to the large amount of people out there, you thought. Arthur eventually announced his return by laying a tray of drinks in the middle of the table.

You were all conversing and sipping on your drinks when Annette decided she wanted to dance. Cleo agreed enthusiastically, but the rest of us refused. She suggested we all take shots to make it easier, but once again we tried to turn her down. she pleaded, “come on guys, it’s a Saturday night, and you can’t possible lose something from it. Have a little bit of fun with me!”

We relented, having a feeling that she wasn’t going to give up any time soon. She gave a little clap and handed out the shots. You knocked yours back with everyone else and grimaced at the bitter taste. Shaking it off, you slid out of the booth so the others could get out. You moved back into your spot after they all made their way to the throng of people. You decided you would join them later, but you liked to observe first. You looked over and the only two left were you and Benny. You slid over to him, not wanting to sit awkwardly on the other end like he wasn’t there.

“I bet you five bucks that lady is bored out of her mind.” He pointed to a blonde on a date across the bar, “Either she’s an alcoholic or she’s trying to tune out baldie.” You looked at the woman and saw she was surrounded by empty glasses while the man in front of her seemed like he was boasting endlessly. You both started making observations about the various people in the bar. Most of them were snarky comments that you whispered into each other’s ears, giggling, but you also created imaginary lives for them, guessing who they were and how they got here. After sharing a couple laughs, you sighed and reached a comfortable lull before Benny brought up what you knew was coming.

“So have you thought about my earlier question?” He eyed you seriously all of a sudden, but you didn’t feel any pressure. He seemed the type of confident where he thought you would say yes, but he could recover if you said no.

You weighed in your impression of him. He was cute, with fluffy hair and nice eyes that were a kind of chocolate color. He was funny and you he seemed intelligent (I mean he had to be, he played competitive chess). Albeit his trench coat and hat were a bit eccentric, but that wasn’t a bad thing, in fact you found it attractive.

“So have you?” He asked again, leaning his head in.

“Oh uh” you hadn’t realized while you were thinking that you had zoned out looking at him. Clearing your throat you said, “I’m free for coffee.” You stopped, “But you have to wear the hat.”

“Wouldn’t leave home without it” he winked.

Suddenly you were shoved against him as your tipsy friends barreled back into the booth.

“We should probably join them” you said as you moved off him, pushing one of the leftover drinks towards him. He nodded and you both drank some more just to get on the same level as your friends.

“You two haven’t even danced! I saw you whispering. Too busy flirting?” Annette smiled as she slurred a few of her words. You just looked down, cheeks pink, leaving Benny to respond.

“How were you watching us when you were dancing with that guy, the one who looks like he’s only ever kissed his mother.”

“No, I’m sure he’s kissed other people! I mean he did seem young but...” Annette looked over to the guy she dragged to dance with her earlier. He stood sheepishly in the corner, looking like he hadn’t outgrown his baby fat yet, and was definitely not a city type. “He’s just shy!” She defended, but me and Benny just looked at each other, falling into giggles. You figured out that night that Annette was one of those drunks who got a little childish, but she was sweet.

You would’ve been content to keep hanging out with Benny, if it hadn’t been for Cleo who grabbed your hand and pulled you out to the dance floor. You looked back at Benny, but gave in and allowed her to twirl you into the crowd. You were having a good time with Cleo, Hilton and Arthur dancing on either side of her. You were soon out of breath, but didn’t mind, enjoying it all.

You had moved to the city a couple months ago, but hadn’t had time to make friends, focusing on your work and setting up your apartment. You missed having company, people who were fun and interesting.

You continued to move to the beat of the song until you bumped into someone. You looked back to see Benny smiling next to you. You smiled back and let him in to the little circle you and your friends had created. You felt a little warm, not from the dancing, but from being close to him.

After fifteen minutes you were all tired and made your way to the booth to gather all your things up and pay the bill. You walked out of the bar and into the chilly night air, grateful for the residual body heat that came from all the dancing. You hugged Cleo and your new friends goodbye as took turns getting into taxis and headed towards their homes. Hilton offered to wave you down a taxi too, but you declined, explaining that your home wasn’t a far walk. He shrugged and gave you another hug before climbing into the yellow car. Once again it was just you and Benny.

“Just the two of us again huh?” He spoke, and he definitely didn’t sound turned off by the idea.

“Fate I guess.”

“Sure” he said casually.

“Do you not believe in fate?” You asked. You weren’t a firm believer in the idea but something in his tone made you curious.

“I’ve had this debate before I think. I’m not sure, but I’d like to figure it out. How about you?” He said. You imagined him having a lot of debates. You had just met him, but he seemed to fall into the intellectual category. They always kept things interesting, and frequently offered new perspectives.

“I mean everything’s gotta mean something, there has to be a purpose. I just don’t know if we make our own purpose or if we’re given a purpose; fate.” You mused, not meaning to get existential. He didn’t seem to mind.

“You seem like the type to want to figure things out too.” He said ‘too’. So you and him both liked to do that. You added that to the growing list of things you liked about him.

“I guess I am.” He had a pleased look on his face and you just shrugged as you started to say goodbye.

“Wait” he grabbed your arm, “I heard you say you didn’t live far, I could walk you.” Before you could protest he told you, “it wouldn’t be a big deal, I heard you tell Hilton where you lived, we’re in the same direction.”

You agreed, finding yourself wanting to talk to him more. He offered you his arm casually and you laughed to yourself a little at the gesture, taking it anyway. You walked down the sidewalk, talking and laughing. You felt comfortable as you felt like you leveled with him. It seemed like too short of a walk as you suddenly found yourself at the door of your apartment building.

“Guess this is goodnight.” Benny said as you both stood on the sidewalk.

“What about coffee?” You asked.

“Glad you remembered. I’ll pick you up at twelve tomorrow, we can make it lunch. I’ll pick you up.” He said it decidedly, like it was just a fact. Something you noticed he did often.

“Ok then. Lunch. Tomorrow. Am I forgetting anything?” You said as you stepped halfway into the doorway.

“If you are we can figure that out later. I’ll see you.” He waved with a slight smile.

You waved back and smiled in return, watching him walk away before closing the door. You sped up to your apartment, letting yourself finally feel the excitement and anticipation of going out. You stripped off your clothing as soon as you got in and flopped on your bed, feeling sort of giddy. You felt like you and Benny were connected, though you had barely met him. As you laid down you smiled to yourself, looking forward to tomorrow.

[mizunetzu]

Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.

LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF

——————

Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!

⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)

Pronouns- male, he/him

——————

Daichi said it on impulse, really.

“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”

Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.

Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.

Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.

“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”

“No! No! I fully support y-“

“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.

“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”

“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.

“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”

“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”

“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”

Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”

Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.

“...I’m not sure?”

————

“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.

“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”

“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”

“Oi-! Focus on the road!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”

“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”

“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”

“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”

“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”

“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”

————

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.

Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.

Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.

Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?

Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’

Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.

————

Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.

(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.

‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’

(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.

“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”

“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.

“Uh-what for?”

“To meet my team? Where are you?”

Fuck.

(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.

“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.

“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”

“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”

A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.

“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”

“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“

“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”

(Y/n) gulped.

“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

—————

“Good work everyone!”

Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.

“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”

“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“

Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.

In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.

(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.

Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?

He chose B.

(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.

Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.

“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”

The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”

The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”

“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”

The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.

“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“

“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”

Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.

“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”

Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.

The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.

“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.

The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”

Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“

Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.

“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.

“Sure thing, doll.”

————

“Your team was nicer than I thought.”

Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”

“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”

Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”

A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.

Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.

“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”

“It’s at 2am, no.”

—————

Extra:

Kageyama: miwa.

Kageyama: MIWA.

Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...

Miwa: mm

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Miwa: DUDE

Miwa: AJDJSKDKF

Miwa: HOW THE FUCK

Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME

Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO

Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS

Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD

Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain

Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ

——————

[dragons-in-spaceee]

Okay let’s do this here’s all my httyd related Newt n hermann headcanons (in no particular order)

Newt was a httyd fan from the moment it was released and has seen all the related series and short films

He has opinions on how they all handle the characters but he loves most of the stuff equally

He relates to httyd 1 hiccup the most, defo reminds him of his kid self - feeling different from everyone else, not following the rules, having a natural reckless curiosity, being an effective leader and getting stuff done if he has his freedom

Httyd 2 is his favourite film however, he enjoys the variety in dragon species and the fun hijinks of it all

He was disappointed with httyd 3. He thinks it’s a decent film and some of the ideas were really good but it fucked up the ending and a lot of the decisions didn’t match the rest of the series

He knows every species of dragon and their abilities off by heart (including the ones in beta canon/games)

He likes to theorise about the biology and evolution of all the dragons and can rant for hours about this

Toothless was one of his first tattoos, just a little one when he was first getting into tattoos

Unsure what his favourite dragon would be… either a night fury or a monstrous nightmare maybe? Ooo or something more obscure like a whispering death or boneknapper?

We all know that Hermann “repressed” Gottleib hasn’t seen any fun films ever so he’s never seen any of the httyd films and Newt is APPALLED

So ofc they immediately have to watch them all (including the short films!!)

Hermann likes httyd 1 the best I think… also I’m thinking maybe the gift of the night fury for some reason?? Idk it’s fun and nice okay

He definitely doesn’t cry at stoick’s death. Not at all. What are you talking about Newton it’s just a animated film it would be unreasonable to cry at such things

(They both cry (though Newt more than Hermann despite the fact he’s seen the film a billion times) but they’re snuggled up together so it’s all okay :,) )

Hermann appreciates the soundtrack a lot and is surprised to hear something so good on something that is technically a kids’ film

His favourite pieces in the soundtrack are romantic flight, the main theme, flying with mother

Newt’s are test drive, forbidden friendship, where no one goes

They would be so cute about for the dancing and the dreaming fr - Newt starts humming then singing along while looking at Hermann, then gets up to dance and they’re both smiling sm like the silly idiots they are <333 (Newt does the “IM STILL GOIIIINNGGGG” bit as well then collapses back into Hermann’s arms :)) sorry im being soppy I can just see this so vividly)

The toothless hoodie is something Newt has had for years, very much a comfort thing and it’s way to big for him but ofc that makes it extra comfy

He enjoys having the tail!! Maybe he made the wings and tail??

I imagined Hermann buys that toothless stuffed toy for him - or wins it at an arcade? Either way Newt loves it very much and keeps it on his desk every day from then on

That’s it folks please feel free to add more!!!!

*looks at newt* that is a man who watches httyd at least 3 times a week and owns neon green alien socks

[ledamemangociana]

RANKING HAISUTE (or the ones i’ve seen so far)

not that anyone has asked me, but i’ve literally been so hyperfixated on these shows for MONTHS and although i’ve gotten my bestie into them now, it’s not like i can bombard them with all these deep-ish dives into these things and how much and why i love them, so i thought HEY why not just put it out into the ether coz DAMN i really wanna talk about them.

under the cut for length (HELLA LENGTH) and spoilers.

let me preface this first by saying i havent seen ALL the shows yet. i havent ever watched the first run of Itadaki No Keshiki, and i havent seen any of the new Karasuno cast shows yet, as by the time i had gotten hooked on these shows, the time to watch Strongest Challengers and Battle At The Garbage Dump on DMM.com had passed, and with my limited budget (i havent been able to work properly since literally mid-July last year), it’ll be a while before i can afford their twin pack DVD when it comes out next month. ALTHOUGH i am hoping to be able to download Fly High on DMM.com before the availability runs out in the middle of March, if i’ll actually have enough money for that.

additionally, i rank these from my least favorite to most favorite, but that does not mean that i hate or dislike any of them. in fact, i have little to zero negative things to say about any of these shows. i just happen to love some more than the others, and i think you’ll be able to tell by how long i go on about each show. i’ll TRY to keep things concise but im telling you now, i’ve already tried this once until an accidental button press erased everything i had written, and this will not be short. at all.

i’ll start first with the things i love about Haisute in general:

quite obviously, the projections. before i finally saw Haisute this year, i had only ever seen BNHA, KNY and Kuroshitsuji musicals, and while they have awesome set pieces, i had never seen video projections utilized the way Haisute does, and i think it’s so wonderful and creative, and so technically sound on everyone’s part. like, it has to be so precise with cast performance and blocking and sound and lights...like. dudes. shout-out to the tech staff of Haisute, y��all are amazing.

the acting performances in general. i dont think there’s a bad actor at all in any of these. some stiff-ish performances (Noah Ishikura as Lev, but mostly in SoE, which was his first time acting ever, so understandable), maybe, but even those actors do great when they’re having a pivotal moment, scene or dialogue. it’s hard to pick faves but somehow i do have them, lol - Kenta Suga as Hinata (obviously), Kentaro as Daichi, Hiroki Ino as Suga, Kousuke Asuma as Oikawa, literally ALL THREE BOKUTOS, literally BOTH AKAASHIS, Ami Saito as Yachi, Tatsunari Kimura as Kageyama, and my top two faves, Shori Kondo and Takato Nagata as KuroKen. for obvious reasons (see: my numerous gifsets that i still have so much to add to alkdjf).

the music is WONDERFUL. the varieties across shows, teams and characters while still maintaining the main themes are just so good. it’s easier for them to be highlighted to since there isnt any singing, and so many moments are told through the music rather than the music accompanying the moment imo.

the choreography is gold af. im sad we lose HIDALI after Tokyo Battle, but im sure the rest of the shows still keep that amazing spark. but i juST. HIDALI’s choreography is iconic. i’ll talk abt it a bit more in some of the entries in the list.

OKAY, now on to the rankings.

7. View from the Top (2nd Run) so again, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS. the reason this is at the bottom of my list is mostly because of what it doesnt have through no fault of its own, rather than anything that it does. i personally love watching character growth and evolution, so for the most part, the first story in anything that has multiple follow-ups tend to be my least favorite part, and i come to enjoy them more as a “look how far we’ve come” thing. that being said, i do think this was such an awesome show to kick-off what has become an iconic 2.5D franchise. so much of it feels like the transition from potential to kinetic energy. a little show that could, and then did. i do think i enjoy this more with a nostalgic sort of fondness than i do with a “look how cool this thing is!” feeling, but again, that’s coz i enjoy watching things changing rather than at the start. what definitely stands out to me here is that i came to it this as only my fourth 2.5D franchise, and the ones i’d watched before this were so different in staging and execution, and that really had me hooked. also, this franchise honestly is one of the best casting in any show i’ve ever seen in my life, like wtf, i havent seen a badly cast actor at all, even for the side characters i dont really pay that much attention to otherwise. you cant help but be sucked into the bright light that is Kenta Suga, and Kousuke Asuma has to be the most Oikawa Oikawa to ever Oikawa anything Oikawa. Tatsunari, Ryotaro and Justin absolutely jumped right out of the manga and anime and onto the stage as Kags, Tsukki and Asahi. and GAWD do i love me some Kentaro and Hiroki as DaiSuga. i went in a big fan and simp of Hiroki Ino and Sugawara, so for the first couple of watches, i was heavily focused on Ino!Suga, but by the third rewatch, Ken-chan came around a corner and smacked me in the face with a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. when that man smiles, i just get murdered.

6. Start of the Giant i honestly had a hard time picking between this and InK for the bottom spot, not because i hate this (AGAIN, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS), but because of how this show feels to me. ultimately, i picked this one to win over InK because of how much character progression is shown between these two shows. stating the obvious, KAZUMA KAWAHARA. HOO BOY. and big, BIG shout-outs to Kouhei Shiota for portraying Tanaka’s emotional roller-coaster so excellently to stride alongside Ennoshita’s big journey and Kazuma’s powerhouse performance. i also wanna spotlight how much more comfortable Tatsuya Kageyama was in his second go-around as Kags, and how well Keita Tanaka and Naoki Tanaka came in as new(old)!Daichi and new!Suga. it took me a while to get to this show because i was so sad to lose Ken-chan and Hiroki after SoE, and i thought i just would not be able to love DaiSuga the same way. turns out that that’s a good thing, because they do play similar but different DaiSugas to Kentaro and Hiroki. it possibly also helped to know that KT wasn’t entirely new, and to have known of Naoki from BNHA (with Hiroki!), although i hadnt known it was him until i started the show up at last, lol. Kentaro got to play a captain who was warm and very much one of the boys, someone who was growing into the role of a captain of a team that had a very real chance of going farther than it had in a while, while KT got to play a Daichi who, fittingly, was more established as a pillar of the group (and im sure the storytelling of this show helped with that), more of that Dadchi that we know and love. Hiroki got to play a gentle but mischeivous Suga who was all about watching over and taking care of the team, watching and waiting for his turn while understanding that Kags was their best chance, while Naoki got to play a more active, more athletic Suga who was becoming more active the closer the team got to Nationals. their performances stood out not just coz they were new, but because of the theme of this story in particular, about captains and leading, so i thought it was quite a nice way to welcome them into the fold. i also of course enjoyed Johzenji and Wakunan, maybe Johzenji more than Wakunan. i saw someone say they’re a bit like Fukurodani and Nekoma lite, and i can totally see and agree with that. this show also feels a bit like Revival lite, in that it’s got a fun first half and then a more action-packed second match with an emotional gutpunch at the end. but ultimately, this is lower on my list because, through no major fault of its own, it felt like a filler show, considering what was coming after this. it felt a bit like “lets’ get on with this story so we can get on to the last hurrah that everyone is looking forward to.” of all the side teams to have been portrayed in the Engeki story, i feel like i remember johzenji and wakunan less. again, that’s not really anyone’s fault, it’s just where this show was positioned in the timeline and what it was ultimately representing. as a parting thought tho, i just wanna shout-out the new lighting scheme they did for this show, especially coming from SoE where there was a lot of darkness or back-lighting. this show is brighter lit in general than most of the shows that came before it, and idky exactly but i do appreciate that a lot.

5. Winners And Losers objectively, this is probably one of the top 3 shows in all of Haisute’s history. but it’s lower on my list because it is the most taxing to watch and rewatch, not because it’s too slow or anything like that, but because it really just is such a tiring story, and i think that’s deliberate on the part of the writers and directors. this was Karasuno’s first major loss, and it was against an opponent they thought they knew, so of course the lead-up had to be a big deal. it’s also a story that revolves quite a bit around kageyama reaching a turning point and learning a few lessons that would ultimately change him, so the story had to also execute that change happening not just in Kageyama but around him. add to that the fact that this was Tatsunari’s goodbye performance (as well as Shohei’s as Noya, but then he doesn’t really get a big emotional moment here) and it’s just heavy on the emotions all around. the comedic distraction of ShoriTaka as Tetsuko and Kenko was honestly quite welcome, lmao. quick little shout-out to Kousuke Asuma and Allen Kohatsu as IwaOi, since they got to really show off the different sides to both those characters in this, and they just are stellar in general. that bit at the end of one of their flashbacks where Iwa-chan tells Oikawa that he’s not the only one fighting, there’s six people in that team, and Oikawa breaks into laughter as Kousuke strips off the flashback jacket, and Iwa’s like “uuuhhh did i hit you too hard, or?” UGH, i love that bit, that almost creepy laugh from Kousuke and the way he comes out of it to say “suddenly im not so upset” is just SO good. im also so happy to see Hiroki get his due as Suga when he finally gets to step up to the plate - or net, as it were - and basically pinch-hit for Kags. he plays senpai!Suga so sweetly, like you really can’t help but love him coz he’s so caring. i also did not expect to be hit right in the feels with the switch back from him to Kageyama, but that bit where he says “it’s frustrating, but hinata’s expression when he’s hitting my sets is different from when it’s yours” really got me. and then when he had to leave the court, asahi and daichi send a fist bump his way, and he gives just this tiny fist bump wave that’s both tired and disappointed and sad, and it’s juST! it hurts me everytime. and before this gets long, im gonna just spotlight the last 10-15 minutes of the show, right after Karasuno loses. Kenta absolutely nails Hinata’s expression in the manga, that wide-eyed disbelief and shock. and then when Daichi tells him not to apologize because he didn’t miss, when Daichi just walks over and hugs him, good gawd. (sidebar, but i’m so glad i got to see that bit with both Ken-chan here and KT in Strongest Team.) and the way Hinata couldn’t move after thanking the audience, not even after Ukai called him back, so Daichi had to actually go get him? my heart was in PIECES. and then the fuggin dinner scene. LORD ABOVE. like, if you dont love Kenta Suga as Hinata, this is the scene that should convince you you’re wrong.

4. The Strongest Team this is right smack dab in the middle of the list because it’s probably the best staged show of all the seven that i’ve seen, but it also hurts me so much for all the obvious reasons. this is the one i’ve rewatched the least, and everytime i rewatch it, i cry as if it’s the first time im watching it. the whole show absolutely feels like a tribute to the Karasuno cast and all the growth they’ve had and contributed to Haisute over their three years with the show, and the entire thing feels so fond, if that makes any sense. everyone on the team gets a big emotional moment, and it’s so sweet to see them each paid tribute. aside from them, i gotta AGAIN shout-out kousuke as oikawa. i like aoba josai enough, i like oikawa enough as a character, but that moment when kousuke absolutely broke down in the locker room after losing to karasuno broke my heart, even more so knowing that he absolutely felt all that gratitude because he wasnt sure he’d be able to come back to the show coz of his hip injury. i think one little moment that doesnt get as talked about as it should is just after he and Iwaizumi have that short convo of always being each other’s partners even after they’ve moved on to different schools. they do their fist bump, and then Iwa walks away, but Kousuke/Oikawa is still absolutely in tears, and as Iwa walks off, he just kind of reaches out and lets out a pained “Iwa-chan!” that’s just barely audible, and that jUST. GETS ME EVERYTIME. hell, im feeling a little heartstring pull right now just thinking about it. i also wanna shout-out Shiratorizawa because Engeki made me actually care about them. like, okay - i dont hate Shiratorizawa, at all. but watching the anime, despite having an entire season be around them, i just never really latched onto them. i like Ushiwaka enough, and i just...dont like Tendou (sue me). but Engeki Haikyuu has a habit of spotlighting other teams and characters enough to make you actually think about them and care about them, and Shiratorizawa was the biggest example of that for me. their theme is awesome, it’s this big, deep, heavy thing that feels as big and broad as the players look. and i could feel their almost militaristic teamwork when the coach is on them, and it’s so good. speaking of Coach Washijo, shout-out to that flashback scene to his younger days. Kenta looked absolutely risible in the wig and giant eyebrows, but i think it was an important touch to have the person playing Hinata be the person playing younger Washijo, because their inner conflicts are basically the same, and Washijo comes to appreciate Hinata’s efforts because of it, so i thought that was a nice touch. (still dont like Tendou tho, sue me.) i gotta end this entry coz it’s getting long, so im just gonna quickly list my favorite scenes/moments:

Yamaguchi’s pinch serve, and bringing out the spear. Kairi Miura wields that spear like he’s been doing it all his life.

Tsukki’s big “GODDAMMIT I THINK I LOVE VOLLEYBALL NOW” moment. the expression on ryotaro’s face right at the end of that scene, where he’s basically saying “it’s just a club, AND YET!” uuuggggghhhh, please i love it. also, shout-out to when Hinata pointed at him and just said “...nice.” like...that always feels like only half Hinata and Tsukki, and more half-Kenta and his best friend Ryotaro, just like the “Tsukki! that one was worth a 100 points!” line that absolutely gets Ryotaro so that on the live cam he had to turn his head away before he meant to for the next bit.

that moment in the last-ish set of the match where everyone is just DESPERATE to win, so it becomes this frantic rally and volley where everyone just starts to grunt and yell louder and louder, and people are running back and forth and jumping and diving, and it’s just this cacophony of sound and blur of movement that just seems to stretch on and on, until finally Shiratorizawa just yells “SHUT UP! WE’RE STRONGER!” and knocks all of Karasuno down. WHEW. that bit is just. WHEW. i almost always forget to breathe at that point. and then the waterworks get turned on as Ukai tearfully tells them to get back up, because volleyball is a sport where you HAVE to look up. LORDDDDD.

the bit towards the end of the match, after tsukki returns from his injury, where they absolutely acted out Ushiwaka pushing Hinata and Tsukki to the floor and holding their heads down. when i first watched it, i gasped because that is straight out of the anime and manga, and then when the rest of Karasuno came in to pull Ushi off, i just turned into a giant sobbing mess.

the graduation curtain call, obviously, but in particular, the bit that will ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, destroy me is when Kenta says “this show was so tiring and tough sometimes, but when i look back, all i can remember are the good times, the best times.” GODDAMMIT IM TEARING UP BADLY RN JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT BIT.

3. Summer Of Evolution this is where the lines between the rankings get a little bit blurred, because i love these top three equally for the most part, but i had to choose a number two (i absolutely know what my number one is), and when i really think about it, SoE just gets edged out by my number two, but barely. i think what i love the most about this show is that this, more than any of the other shows, really portrays these characters as high school kids. and that’s not just because part of the story is set in the school and it’s actually showing the school sometimes, but coz they’re going through and portraying teenage experiences and emotions. most of the other shows portray the team in matches, so we’re seeing them more as volleyball players than teenagers or students, but we get to finally see that here, and it’s really refreshing. other than that, im gonna try to just list some of my highlights and favorites again coz i dont wanna keep going too long:

im so glad to finally have girls on the show, and not just in a “YAY FEMINISM! GIRL POWER! WHOO!” kind of way. kiyoko has always felt like an inextricable part of the team for me, so it was bittersweet to have such a great Karasuno cast but without a Kiyoko, so i was REALLY happy to finally get her here! and for a first time actor ever, Shizune was so awesome! she absolutely has that gentle strength that Kiyoko has, and the way she’s been written in absolutely does feel like she’s always been there. i do wish she got more to do with the third year boys, but all in all, it’s SO good to have an actual Kiyoko who absolutely looks like she came out of the manga.

im also just so DAMN happy about Yachi and her portrayal here. i think ami saito is so dang perfect, and yachi is such a fun addition that fits right in with the chaotic fun of Karasuno. one thing that i REALLY love, though, is how she gets to just act. before Haisute, my only experience of female characters and actors on a 2.5D stage is with Uraraka (and two or three other female students) in BNHA and Elizabeth in Kuroshitsuji, and those characters are your typical cutesy girls, and their movements and body language are so typically girly, you know what i mean, those softer arms and smaller movements, looser fingers, these little “Kyaa~” things, those things. but Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko arent like that, so that’s not how they’re portrayed here. Ami as Yachi is just as loud and expressive and active as the Karasuno boys, bar actually playing in a match. also, her chemistry with Kenta is SO GOOD. i dont really ship YachiHina, i think they’re cute friends, but BOY DID THESE TWO MAKE ME RETHINK THAT. ami’s Yachi with Kenta’s Hinata made me think “YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THESE TWO GO ON A CHAPERONED DATE.” they’re adorable. a particular fave of mine is when hinata climbs a tree to help a baby bird back into its nest and he asks Yachi if she wants to climb up too, and also after Yachi finishes making the Hinata poster, she jumps onto the back of Hinata’s bike and they ride off-stage together. PLEASE IT’S SO CUTE.

also: SAEKO NEE-SAN PLEASE STEP ON ME.

OH HI FUKURODANI. they are such good chaos boys, i love them. i dont have much to say about them here just yet, but WOW im so glad to have them onstage at last.  

NEKOMA IS BACK THANK GAWD I LOVE NEKOMA. of all the teams portrayed, i think nekoma is the one that feels the most connected together (AHA!). like, even when they have a new character and/or cast member, the new ones never really stand out as new, they feel like they’ve always been there. this play really showcases the teams at their most casual so we dont get to see as much of their excellent teamwork and connection as we do in past and future shows, but you really get a sense of their family dynamic and just GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, and honestly dont get me started on ShoriTaka, i will literally never stop

shout-out to Tatsuya Kageyama, he had big shoes to fill not just in terms of character but also as an actor, since this is his first show ever. much like with KT and Naoki as DaiSuga, it does feel like he plays a similar enough Kageyama without just mimicing Tacchu. this is also the right Kags arc to introduce a new Kageyama actor with as well, since there’s a big change after that loss to Aoba Josai and Oikawa, so i think the writing of the show also absolutely helped Kage-chan ease into his role, and helped the audience ease into this new Kageyama. overall, i think he did an awesome job, and we’re really fortunate to have had two awesome Kageyamas before gen 1/1.5 changed to gen 2.

i also just noticed/realized that the backstage video for SoE starts with the introduction of Kage-chan and Fucchi as new cast members, and ends with the farewell to Ken-chan and Hiroki as graduating members, and i know that’s just natural coz the first time the Karasuno cast met the two new members was at the photoshoot for visuals, but also what a nice little circle of life there.

COMING INTO THE HOMESTRETCH NOW, if you’ve made it this far, thank you SO MUCH, im sorry, i really just have a tendency to ramble, and like i said, i dont really have anyone or an opportunity to talk this deep about these shows to, so thanks so much for your time.

2. Karasuno, Revival! WHEW okay, so idk if this is Unpopular Opinion or controversial coz objectively it is the best show so far, and i’ve put it only at number 2. BUT LISTEN: before i saw Tokyo Battle, this was absolutely my number 1 favorite. the Dateko match is so good and so fun to watch, and honestly, that rap battle gives me so much life im almost immortal now. i LOVE that they also got to show ikejiri (THANK YOU KENTA SUGA) and ken-chan as daichi got his moments because of it, and it gave us “katou tou shinakya, katenai!” as an iconic quote and theme for the show, we got a fantastic moment for Asahi that was paid off from the previous show, also honestly “otchita kyougo, tobenai garasu” is just gonna be stuck in your head forever for a while. we also got Kousuke and Allen’s excellent IwaOi back, bringing with them their “Iwa-chan, are you my mom” dynamic (and gawd the cackle i let out when Iwa yeets a volleyball at Oikawa, or that turn and yell that makes Oikawa yelp as he exits off stage lkasdjf), which is always a plus. but! BUT!! best thING FOR ME???? NEKOMA, BABY!! like im sorry, im biased, but i fuggin LOVE nekoma, kuroo is my favorite character in the entire series, and Haisute really gave them a fantastic story and dynamic, because again, there’s so much you can do on stage that you sometimes cant do in anime or manga, so they were really able to highlight Nekoma’s famous teamwork, especially when centered around Kenma. more on that later, but like. it was just such a JOY to watch Karasuno, still kind of scattered puzzle pieces at this point trying to figure out how to best go together to create one big picture, go up against the smooth teamwork of Nekoma, and learn and grow from it. also they honestly have the best team theme music and team dance, fite me. also thank you Haisute for making KuroDai so painfully real lakdsfj

1. Tokyo Battle okay okaY OKAY OKAY OKAY. i think there are some people who actually like this the least coz it’s just too different from the rest of the shows that came before it - no Karasuno, less projections, different music style, aesthetically different stage, etc. B U T. aside from me just being biased because Nekoma are my favorite team, i actually think many of those differences are what makes this show my favorite one. first of all, the music is LIT AF. the themes for each team are so distinct, they really help play up the animal motifs that are played up the most in this show than in any of the others. secondly, THAT CHOREOGRAPHY THO. good gawd. HIDALI said “it’s our last Haisute, let’s go out with a bang” and they really fuggin did. Fukurodani absolutely is TOKYO PARTY TIME, they got to really play up their party birds schtick and i love it. Nohebi i cannot HELP but love because i love snakes, but also, with Nohebi’s cast, you can tell the choreographers were so happy to finally have an actual technical dancer. they had yuu fukuzawa doing the most and then some in playing up the snake theme, and it’s literally so hypnotic to watch his pops, locks and isolations. he’s also just such an AWESOME daisho, and it helps that nohebi are written to be cunning and sneaky. i also love that he and Kuroo seem to actually have a lot of untold history, and i kind of wish we could get a bit more elaboration on that, coz Yuu’s and Shori’s chemistry as frenemy team captains is SO GOOD. and then of course. NEKOMA, BABY!! so okay. kenma absolutely should be the lead of this show, and he is, BUT he’s also, to a certain extent, inextricable from Kuroo and the rest of the team, so that you dont always get that feeling of Kenma being in the spotlight the same way Hinata is (for understandable reasons since Nekoma arent even really the main characters of the story as a whole), and i think that’s important because, again, Nekoma is all about that teamwork and connection. like, Kenma is the lead because he thinks for Nekoma, and Nekoma acts accordingly, instead of how it is usually where the story is showing Hinata’s perspective alone. it also feels like that in terms of the actors. like, technically Takato is zachou, and he is, but also several times in the curtain call speeches, the cast members refer to or mention both Takato and Shori together. even Takato says that when he had spoken to Kenta about how nervous he was about taking up the zachou mantle from him, Kenta had said “if it’s you and shori, you’ll be fine.” they are a unit, and it really comes across in their portrayals of Kuroo and Kenma as well, and even if you love nothing else about this show, you literally cannot help but love that about them. i think the show does a great job revolving the Nekoma team dynamic around that too without making it the ONLY thing that keeps Nekoma together. the star of the show is absolutely the theme of “connection” (more than the other theme of promises), and if you’ve seen the show and you dont cry at the “Tsunage” section as Nekoma wins the match against Nohebi, then are you really watching the show lmao.

OKAY OKAY I’VE REALLY RAMBLED ON, and if you made it all the way here, THANK YOU AND IM SORRY. but also, there’s still a lot of things i wanna talk about that i didnt talk about here coz im mostly a scatterbrain and live half my life radiating BDE - Bokuto Dumbass Energy. so if you’re also ridiculously obsessed with these shows and wanna talk about it, my inbox is open. someone come hyperfixate with me while i make SO MANY MORE GIFSETS OHMYGOD ALL THE GIFSETS geezas crust when i get to Tokyo Battle i will be insufferable.

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

A suggestion/request from @bon-fly

Medieval Au Zukka, I would have added more detail about the other ships but it had already much longer than I anticipated

✨Enjoy✨

"What ever could be the problem my lord?" Came the characteristically grumpy voice of Zuko's Dwarflven Mage Toph

He leaned back from his slouched position to look at the blind woman. "It's nothing much really. I Just... I need to summon the southern knights for the Avatar honoring" he gave a sigh

"Then summon them" she said simply while leaning on his throne. There was a few other advisors in the room, none of them were ever expecting Toph's brash behavior towards the king or the fact that he took it. The high elven king never once found his Dwarven mage's behavior to be uncalled for. His reasoning was simple. She was a friend, one which would lay her life down for his just as he would hers.

"Its not that simple Toph, he's going to be with them" Zuko leaned his elbow on the table and pressed his hand to his forehead.

"If I may, My lord, the avatar is technically escorting the knights, not the other way around" advisor Tayko offered

Zuko gave a snort "thats not who I'm worried about Tayko, but I appreciate the sentiment. Its the Cheif's... ehm, son"

"Did he do something wrong my lord?" Tayko asked with narrowed eyes

"More like he did everything right and managed to fluster mister pointy ears" Toph bellowed and Zuko flushed a deep red

"Shut it Toph!" But he laughed with her "she is right though... I'm just, nervous is all, dont worry Tayko, I'll have the letter written by tonight"

Tayko, still being wary of how Toph behaved but understanding that her king was very brash with people who acted out of line, gave a smile "my lord, may I say something?"

Zuko sat straight and looked at her warily "go on Tayko"

"It is to my knowledge that most people don't support miss Toph being here, but I have never seen anyone make you smile as she has," she paused and looked at her hands in her lap "I'm very happy to see you smile again"

"Well, its nice that someone noticed, thank you Tayko" Toph said with a big grin spread from ear to ear across her cheeks. "Now, Zuko has some writing to do, so run along, I will fetch you when it is written"

Not long after Tayko scurried off she was fetched once more and given the letter to send by hawk to summon the southern nights and the avatar. The hawk response came by the next evening when Toph was training Zuko to react faster on both sides, not just his good side. "I know you're not a dwarf but ANYONE can feel the vibrations, and you're clear proof of that" Toph said as she watched the king use his blades and flames to expertly block and deflect each rock sent his way.

"My lord" Tayko spoke suddenly from behind Toph and had a blade fly past her head missing by a good six inches "Eep!" She tensed while he took off his blindfold

"Sorry Tayko, you startled me" Zuko gave a sheepish grin "what did you need?"

"The uh.." she moved away from the wall with a sigh "the Southern Chief sent back, they will be here in three days time. Shall I summon Lady Mai and Ty Lee?"

Zuko gave a huff and slouched his shoulders, his pointed ears slanting downward as well "that would be best, though they won't be happy to be summoned so soon after their honeymoon"

The pair most certainly weren't, the arrival of them was easy to notice because a knife flew past Zuko's head, barely grazing his ear and landed on his throne "ah, Mai, sorry to summon you so early after you two wed, but youre the only ones capable of pulling off a three day party planning."

"You are going to owe use so many fruit tarts!" Mai spoke harshly as she stormed into the room

"Yeah! With rose petals!" Ty Lee backed up her wife with a much softer voice.

Mai smiled softly at Ty Lee and placed a quick kiss to her forehead "thank you darling."

"Of course, you'll have all the reward you like, but we have to prepare for the avatar and Sokka." Zuko said with a wave of his hand.

"You mean the Avatar and the Southern Knights" Mai pointed out

"Thats what I said"

By the time the third day of planning had finished the kingdom was decked out with shimmering blue flowers of all assortments, ribbons and the like were draped around anything that seemed fit to the recently weds.

At high noon Zuko was found with Ming fixing his hair and Ursa helping him with his robes and jewels. "He'll be here soon Mom"

"I know sweetie, but you need not worry, the Avatar will appreciate the festivities you have set out for him and the knights" Ursa reassured her son while tying off the last bit of silk and Ming slid in the metal hold for his hair piece.

"Thats not who he meant lady Ursa" Toph said bluntly. Ursa turned to the blind dwarf behind her who had a soft smile on her face rather than her normal mischief coated expression. "My lord, they've arrived at the gates"

Zuko flushed "lead the way" and she did. She lead him down the many stairs, with his many layers of silk flowing freely behind him. They followed the winding paths of the kingdom streets until they reached the Knights and Avatar. Chief Hakoda and Bato stood with Sokka on their right and Katara on their left with Avatar Aang in the middle. A hobbit at maybe their hips was a humorous sight indeed, but Zuko's focus was on someone else.

Sokka stood in his formal attire, a pale blue high collar robe ending at his shoulders but his arms covered by a a deep blue draping silk over dress connected in the center by a fire opal jewel. Zuko was of course caught staring by the chiefs themselves "ahem, Lord Zuko?" Bato spoke up with a raised brow

"Oh, uh! My apologies, welcome to my kingdom," he turned to look at Aang who smirked when he noticed the flush on Zuko's cheeks "thank you for coming to the honoring Avatar Aang"

"Say, Lord Zuko, Sokka told me about his last trip here.. well, technically he spoke mostly of you, not much variety in his stories I'll tell you tha-!" The small boy was silenced by a hand over his mouth from a flustered Sokka.

The blue eyed boy stammered out a "sorry about him, he loves to blurt things out without thinking them through!"

"Sounds like someone else I know" Katara said with her hand on her hips. From just looking at her ears he could tell that she was a bender, and a powerful one at that. "Sorry about that Zuko, my brother and Aang love getting on eachothers nerves, especially about you" she rolled her eyes

Zuko however was as red as his robes "oh, uh, thats perfectly alright, Toph, would you mind showing them to their quarters?"

Toph gave a laugh "you want a blind dwarf to lead four southern elves and a hobbit to their living quarters?"

"You may be blind but you can easily see, and you know it Toph-" a rock hit the back of his head and he yelped before giving her a pout

"Haaah! Yeah, youre right, but don't you wanna show baby blue to his room?"

Zuko gave a huff "Chief Hakoda, Cheif Bato, Warrior Karata and Avatar Aang please follow Mage Beifong to your living quarters. Warrior Sokka, I need a word with you about that design you sent over last moon, so I will show you to your room"

"Oh, of course" and with that the group left the two man alone to walk to the palace. For a short while they were quiet but Sokka broke the silence by linking arms "so, about those designs, I was thinking we could easily make a cart that didn't need any animal to pul it if we just used"

Zuko didnt hear much besides Sokka's voice, too lost in the fact that he was finally here to understand what the sounds meant together until they made it into the castle and Sokka tugged him into a small broom closet "I know why you actually separated me from the others"

Zuko cleared his throat "im sure you are aware of my reasons, but you did not need to drag me in here, if you were worried about someone catching wind you made the mistake of going into a broom closet with one of my maids already in here" he turned to help her up "sorry miss Jin, I'll give you the day off paid in full"

Zuko then took hold of Sokka's hand and dragged him out of the small room and back to the empty hallway. "Hah, my bad" Sokka said with a small voice crack

"Don't worry about it, thought you shouldn't worry about the staff catching wind of this sort of thing, everyone here adores you, I hope you know that" Zuko chuckled

"What sort of thing?" Sokka feigned innocence and Zuko being ever so gullible fell for it with a flushed face

"Oh! I'm sorry, I just thought that, maybe you had caught onto my affections for you, and reciprocated them. What did you think I-!!" The king didn't have much room to continue his awkward words because Sokka planted a quick kiss to his cheek to silence him

"Of course I do Zuko, and I was only teasing, you really should be better at spotting that with Toph being around you all the time, hah, she plays the- hey! Where are we going?"

Zuko said nothing, and just dragged him to the room he was to be staying in for the week of festivities and slammed the door behind them. "Don't. Don't.... don't tease me about that okay? I'm not entirely used to anyone returning affections since... well" he genstured to his burn scar and damaged ear.

"Oh, oh Zuko no, Zuko I'm sorry, I didnt realize... I'm sorry" Sokka took the shorter elf's face in his hands and forced him to look him in the eyes "Zuko you're beautiful, I can't get over how stunning you looked under the moonlight the first time we met. And what's even more stunning about you is the ability to make a confession walk seem like a diplomatic walk to anyone but the two of us. You really do have a way with words"

Zuko was practically melting in the hands of the southern warrior, "you... you really think that of me?" He asked with a shy softness to his voice.

Sokka couldnt help the fond chuckle "Of course I do Zuko, now, if its not too much, may I give you a real kiss this time?"

All Sokka needed was a small nod and he sealed the distance between them. Every mile, every inch, every millimeter of distance that had ever been between the fire elven king and Southern elven warrior was gone, and all that remained was stars.

The two wed thirteen moons later, with a promise to protect, love, and trust one another in this life and every life that came after.

[nctsiren]

Thank you for turning on anon uwu for the ask game thingy can I ask these for all of the girls? daydreams, caress, ivory, golden, freckles, twilight, poppy, clouds, roses, lollipop, dimples, whisper, pencil, honey, velvet, strawberry, kiss, shampoo, lace, sapphos?

hewwo anon!!! thank u for requesting!! i’m sorry it’s late :(( hope you enjoy, nonetheless!! i enjoyed writing it 🥺

daydream-

hyeyoung: “i think i’ll say joan jett or debbie harry!! i admire them a lot, i love their music, and i think it’d be fun to be a rock singer.”

mila: “i think it’d be nice to be beetle. i’ve always wondered how his mind works. being a dog seems cool”

evie was answered in my other post!!

jimin: “seulgi unnie!! i’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be perfect ;)”

caress-

hyeyoung: “i love to snuggle... i like when johnny lays between my legs with his head on my chest. it makes me so happy.”

mila: “yes... but i play hard to get with some of the wayv members. i feel at ease cuddling with ten.”

evie was answered in my other post!!

jimin: “there are hundreds of youtube comps of me being snuggly and affectionate .. i just love my members”

ivory-

hyeyoung: “i wear matching sets. like the pants and the button up shirt? or the silk/satin shorts and matching tank tops. i love cute pajamas, i always have.”

mila: “i usually wear a sports bra and boxers or shorts.”

evie: “big shirt and my underwear.”

jimin: “usually a big hoodie and shorts!”

golden-

hyeyoung: “i cannot choose!! i own lots of stationary, and i scrapbook, as well.”

mila: “i’m not really a stationary person. just gimme some lined paper and i am all good.”

evie: “i love a good pen.”

jimin: “AHH i’m a sucker for the cute stationary cards. i like writing letters and notes”

freckles-

hyeyoung: “honestly, i have a pair of black cigarette pants that i love to pieces. i wear them often- they just go with everything and are so comfortable!”

mila: “i... honestly probably this hoodie i stole from lucas. it’s super big and comfy. if i don’t wear it at certain times i feel like something bad will happen ://“

evie: “i have this big, chunky grandpa sweater that’s striped and i wear it to the point where it might start falling apart.”

jimin: “it’s not really a clothing item, but i’ve worn the lily necklace chenle gave me every day since i got it. and my necklace that’s just my name, jimin, in cursive.”

twilight (this is their best friend outside of the other girls)-

hyeyoung: “i know it’s cheesy, but johnny, for obvious reasons... i’m also quite close to irene unnie, as well as jaehyun and taeyong. it’s hard for me to pick.”

mila: “ten.”

evie: “i legitimately cannot pick outside of the girls... maybe lucas... or yuta... or doyo... i don’t fucking know.”

jimin: “chenle- i’m stuck with him.”

poppy-

hyeyoung: “pink. i’m not even much of a pink girl, but pastel pink is lovely.”

mila: “is... pastel orange a thing? i see it in my mind, but i don’t know if anyone else can.”

evie: “green. green is my favorite color in general, all shades.”

jimin: “lavender and periwinkle are my favorite colors outside of grey and white.”

clouds-

hyeyoung: “it was me alone in a practice room, but the room had large windows in it and it was so light. i was dancing- there was no music playling, but i still was. i felt so happy, and i stopped after twirling because johnny had arrived and he just smiled at me with so much love in his eyes.”

mila: “i honestly don’t remember my dreams, but i remember how i felt during them?”

evie was answered in my other post!!

jimin: “all of my dreams are weird and i don’t have a favorite because they’re too bizarre to enjoy.”

roses-

hyeyoung: “red roses... my late grandma, who was the person i loved most in the world, loved red roses.”

mila: “i think... tulips.”

evie was answered in my other post!!

jimin: “lilies, but not because of my name. my loved ones give them to me because of my name, but i love them because i receive them from my loved ones LMAO”

lollipop-

hyeyoung: “lipstick is my favorite. nice reds and pinks. i never go dark with lipstick- only dark eye makeup.”

mila: “i love ALL makeup”

evie: “i kind of hate wearing makeup, but i guess i’d pick eyebrow stuff.”

jimin: “mascara and blush! i like the heavy blush look.”

dimples-

hyeyoung: “my favorite thing is when i see people’s eyes crinkle when they smile. smiles and lips- oh, lips- are so beautiful.”

mila: “i love the variety of expressions that people can show even in a matter of seconds. i love seeing the range of emotions and thoughts on people’s faces.”

evie: “i love noses. all noses. also, i think facial structures are so lovely and unique. everyone is different.”

jimin: “smiles and eyes. i think eyes are so, so beautiful. i’ve never met anyone with eyes that aren’t beautiful. and smiles are heavenly because seeing a person’s joy written on their face is priceless.”

whisper-

hyeyoung: “i usually get the amount you’re supposed to get. i tend to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. my alarm is santeria by sublime, like johnny’s...”

mila: “i have horrible, horrible insomnia and only get a very little amount.”

evie was answered on my other post!! ++ she also will sleep through ANYTHING even her alarms

jimin: “i either get too much or too little.”

pencil-

hyeyoung: “i bullet journal to plan, and i also write down the things that make me anxious during the day so that i can reflect and see what i could do next time to sooth myself more”

mila: “lined notebooks full of songs that i keep in a specific drawer. if i need to get out anything, it escapes my mind in a song”

evie: “my journals are 10% words, 90% drawings.”

jimin: “i have my song journals, but then i have my jimin journals which hold every intimate thought or emotion i have ever felt.”

honey-

hyeyoung: “baby or love. those are what johnny most commonly calls me. he likes to call me angel, too, and that really gets me :) .. we also call each other chipmunk.”

mila: “i used to hate being called lala, but now i love it. it’s also cute when evie calls me baozi, because i call her shumai. i also like bun.”

evie’s is answered on my other post!!

jimin: “uhh... baby, minmin (thanks, jisung), i like when people call me flower too 🥺”

velvet-

hyeyoung: “my first crush? i saw kurt cobain when i was little and thought he was the most handsome man i’d ever seen- i listened to a lot of nirvana growing up. a lot of people don’t expect me to like things like grunge or rock, but it’s very much my style!! im just shy and don’t dress to reflect it.”

mila: “i watched hercules when i was really little and became obsessed with meg. yup. it was the classic ‘i just thought i wanted to be her!’ but nope. gay.”

evie: “i don’t remember?! i think it was when i was in secondary school, because i didn’t like anyone for a while. just this classmate... and i was a cringe little fuck.”

jimin: “the first notable one i remember was when i was in second grade... i was reading twilight and fell in love with edward. yes, i was reading twilight in second grade, yes when i got to breaking dawn my mom didn’t let me read part of the honeymoon. i also had a crush on bella, and to this day, i would be in a throuple with robert pattinson and kristen stewart.”

strawberry-

hyeyoung: “cherries and strawberries, because they taste best covered in chocolate.”

mila: “mangos are so fucking good.”

evie: “grapes are arguably the best fruit and gumdrop grapes are arguably the best kind.”

jimin: “watermelon, bitchesssss”

kiss-

hyeyoung: “i mean, my first kiss was with a boy i was friends with when i was in america. we had both smoked a cigarette before it (i just wanted to try it) so it tasted bad. the other guys i kissed i weren’t proper friends with, and then johnny.”

mila: “um, ive kissed evie, like, when we were dating. i havent kissed many people to be honest...”

evie: “i kissed mila, i’ve kissed lily (a friendly peck), i’ve ALMOST kissed hyeyoung, i’ve kissed some of my guy friends and girl friends predebut- so, yes, i have kissed friends. and people who aren’t friends. i just like to kiss.”

jimin: “... sigh. renjun, chenle, evie, The Ex We Don’t Talk About, yeri (friendly, like with evie), and probably a few other friends in a non-romantic way? i dunno”

shampoo-

hyeyoung: “my favorite scent is johnny’s versace cologne, his shampoo, and his skin. definitely roses. i also love my perfume smell, clean linen, and i love the smell of champagne.”

mila: “i like the smell of cigarettes... YES i know it’s bad, but it calms me down. i’d also pick the smell of rain, or beetle, because he always smells good.”

evie: “the smell of paint and pencils is so comforting. i also like nature smells. when the air smells cold, it’s so nice. and the OCEAN.”

jimin: “home-y smells? laundry, and warm smells... lavender and florals, my perfume, and the smell of summer nights and bonfires. also any of my members.”

lace-

hyeyoung: definitely a dress person, is definitely in love with the classiness and sleeves of that first one, and is definitely happy about how sexy she looks in that second one.

mila: is NOT a dress person and prefers dresses that she can go braless with and are comfortable

evie: this is just Evie and we all know it

jimin: the first one is cute on it’s own AND with a big sweater/sweatshirt over it, and the second one make her feel like she on a european holiday

sapphos-

hyeyoung: “jiminnie :) she writes such beautiful poetry- i’m very thankful that she chose to share some with me!”

mila: “i don’t think i have a favorite poet, to be honest... i like kate bush, though, and i know she’s a singer, but she’s truly a poet.”

evie: “michael faudet. he wrote a series of poetry books, his first is called ‘dirty pretty things’ and it’s really 18+ but i thought it was gorgeous. i have all of his books.”

jimin: “asking me to pick a favorite poet is like asking me to pick a favorite member- can’t do it.”

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[artificialqueens]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Chapter 1 (Crygi, Jan x Nicky) - Joley

ao3 link

“Mail call!” Crystal called out, even though it was only her and Jan in the apartment. She sorted the pile out between the two of them, ending up with two slightly messy stacks. “Looks like you got an international package!”

That brought Jan barreling out of her room, nearly slipping on the rug on her way in. She grabbed onto the counter to support herself, taking a gasp of air before standing upright. “Oh yay!” She grabbed the package with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning and took it back to her room along with the rest of her pile, not bothering to close the door behind her.

Crystal chuckled, looking over to see her cat perched on the couch, staring into Jan’s bedroom with something of a perplexed expression. “It’s nothing for you, Tic. But maybe she’ll let you play in the box,” she mused before her gaze drifted back to her pile of mail, sifting through what inevitably turned out to be nothing but junk. With nothing else of her immediate interest, she wandered into her roommate’s room, sitting on the bed while Jan was at her desk. “What’d you get?”

Jan carefully opened the box, gliding the box cutter down the tape seams so she didn’t have to rip and yank and risk tearing anything inside. She took the neatly folded letter out first, holding it to her face and taking a deep inhale. The scent of patchouli and vanilla wafted into her nose and made her smile. It was the smell she most associated with Nicky, every package and letter she sent came laced with the aroma of her perfume.

“Bonjour, mon petite poupée,” she started to read, ignoring the way Crystal started to laugh at her butchering of the French phrases. “I hope spring is as beautiful there as it is here. I have sent you a box of macarons—I enjoy them year-round, but my mother always loved to bake them the most this time of year. I wanted to send you some of hers, but hopefully bakery ones will suffice. I’d love it if you FaceTime or Skype me when you get them, I want to see your live reaction, and I sent you enough to share with Crystal, so be nice. Until then, câlins et bisous, Nicky.”

Jan smiled broadly as she finished reading the letter, noticing the lipstick kiss print that Nicky signed off every letter with, and gently set it aside. “Okay, it’s like nine at night where she is, she’ll still be up,” she said as she took the pastel box tied neatly with a white lace bow out of the package. “Oh look, this is so cute.” She took out another piece of paper where Nicky had hand-drawn each macaron and wrote the flavor next to it, making a color-coded guide. “Isn’t she so sweet and thoughtful?”

“She told you to share, so yes.” Crystal chuckled, running her hand through her hair to look presentable while Jan called Nicky on Skype.

Nicky answered the call right away. “Hi Jan! Hi Crystal!” She greeted them with energy even though she was dressed for bedtime, wearing a black tank top and white cotton shorts (the latter not being visible in the frame). Her hair was damp, air-drying, and draped over her desk chair. “Did you get my mail?”

Jan nodded, holding the box up for her to see. “Just did. Thank you so much, Nicks. That’s so sweet of you.”

“Of course, I’m still making my way through the gift basket you sent for my birthday. I have opinions on all the different Oreo flavors.” Nicky giggled. They had gotten into a discussion about all the different flavors of the cookie, and she had become obsessed with the idea of trying the variety. So, when her birthday rolled around, Jan had painstakingly arranged a cookie bouquet (along with a few other treats) with as many flavors as she could find.

In the year they’d been communicating, Nicky had both come to expect Jan to go the extra mile and would still be surprised every time. The university course that had brought them together through its pen pal program certainly didn’t require an exchange of presents, but it started with Jan not being to help herself and (unbeknownst to Nicky) progressed into an ever-present desire to impress her.

“We can get to that next, I’m really excited to try these. Which one is your favorite?” Jan asked as she took the bow off the box without untying it and opened it up. “Oooh, it still smells fresh-baked.”

Nicky grinned as she watched her, opening up a bottle of rosé and pouring herself a glass. “I am partial to the red velvet and the apricot.”

Jan licked her lips. “You know I love red velvet.” She plucked the deep red cookie from the box before handing it to Crystal, who was making grabby-hands at it. She waited for her friend to choose and set the box down on her desk. “On three.” She counted down, then took a bite. “Holy shit.” She covered her mouth, not wanting to talk with her mouth full. “Nicks, these are delicious. You’re gonna have to send these on the regular.”

Crystal was enjoying herself just as much. “Is there a word for like, food horny? You know, like it tastes so good, I’m kind of turned on?”

Nicky snorted and Jan looked down and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just say you like it, Crystal.”

“I do,” she confirmed, then looked down at her phone. “Anyway, gotta go. Bye Nicky, thanks for the cookies!” She waved at the screen before darting right out of the room.

Jan chuckled, knowing exactly what propelled Crystal out of the room so quickly and shouted “Tell Gigi I said hi!” after her. Then she faced forward again, her attention effortlessly returned to Nicky. “Anyway, how have you been?” “No complainings,” Nicky hummed, aimlessly strumming her fingers against her glass. “Did you get around to listening to that study playlist I sent you?”

“Oh my god yeah, I forgot to say anything because I kept listening to it after I was done studying and fell asleep,” Jan admitted with a laugh. “You have impeccable taste.”

She twirled her slowly drying hair around her manicured finger. “Tell me something I do not know, darling.” She winked.

Jan’s breath hitched in her throat and she covered it with a cough. Nicky exuded a seductive beauty so effortlessly and it didn’t take much for Jan to get flustered. If their friendship wasn’t exclusively long distance, her crush would have been impossible for Nicky or anyone else to not pick up on. Hell, Crystal only knew because she had been aching for the release of gushing about her feelings and her roommate lent a willing ear. “Last time I did that, we ended up talking about juice boxes for an hour,” she retorted once her body had unclenched.

Nicky chuckled softly at the memory. It was so easy for them to go off on tangents about the smallest things. It was probably her favorite part of her conversations with Jan, everything flowed so easily, awkward silence simply didn’t exist between them. “That is true,” she conceded. “But I’ve got to go eat dinner. We’ll talk tomorrow, yes?”

“Go eat.” She never quite grasped how Nicky always ate dinner so late at night, but she had all but memorized her schedule by now. “Au revoir,” she cooed, just because she knew it would make her laugh, and waved as she ended the call.

——

When Crystal got the text ‘come hang out, im done with class,’ she was out the door before she even sent ‘ok.’ Gigi was a junior while she and Jan were seniors, but all of them going to the same university had their schedules aligning relatively often. But she and Jan were living off-campus, so she didn’t want to waste any time on getting to her.

“Hey.” Gigi smiled, greeting her best friend with a hug. “Come on, we’re going on a coffee run,” she said, leading the way. Her direct nature was something Crystal had appreciated—she didn’t ask questions, she made statements, and it came off as harsh to some, but Crystal was terrible at making daily decisions, so she was happy to leave it in her hands.

“Sounds good. You should come over soon, Jan got these amazing French cookies from Nicky. I think she’ll let us steal some,” Crystal mused, linking their arms as they walked.

“Cool.” She nodded. “Has Jan told Nicky she’s in love with her yet?” It had come up in conversation in the past, leading to Crystal giving the entire backstory of Jan and Nicky’s relationship. Luckily, Jan hadn’t held it against her and could live with one more person knowing the truth.

Crystal laughed softly and shook her head. “Nope. But, you know, you can’t push someone to admit how they feel if they aren’t ready.” Her tone was a bit strained in the remark, looking straight ahead as she spoke.

But Gigi didn’t notice the shift in her voice anyway. “That’s stupid,” she said flatly. “They’re like, four thousand miles apart, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Feelings are feelings.” She shrugged as they entered the café. Of course, she could relate to what Jan was going through, but as far as she was concerned, her situation was worse. A pen pal could be out of sight and out of mind, she reasoned. But having a crush on your best friend made day-to-day life excruciating. She was constantly torn between the desire to distance herself so her emotions didn’t overwhelm, and the powerful urge to spend as much time and be as physically close to Gigi as possible. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the latter would always win. “So, how’s your final project going?”

Gigi let out an exasperated groan. “God, I’m killing myself making a dress for the wedding I’ll never have,” she lamented. “I never want to see white lace again once I’m done with it.”

Crystal winced, averting her gaze. “You don’t think you’ll ever get married?”

“Not the takeaway here, Crys,” she rolled her eyes, but there was still fondness in her expression. “Listen, I’ve made it this far in life without a relationship, maybe that’s just my destiny. I’ll just be far too busy taking over the fashion industry to worry about it.”

It wasn’t a personal rejection, but it was painfully difficult for Crystal not to take it as one. Her heart ached and her chest felt heavy with a sudden sadness, coupled with her active efforts not to let it show. “No, yeah, I get it.”

Gigi rubbed her arm gently. “Don’t let my cynicism ruin that hopeless romantic in you. It gives me hope in this cold, dark world.” She looked into her eyes, silently offering the apology she was just a little too proud to verbalize.

Crystal lightened back up, though she was embarrassed that Gigi had such a hold on her emotions without even realizing it. “I’ll do my best.”

——

Crystal returned to the apartment just as the sun was setting. Coffee had turned to dinner and time had just slipped away from her. But when she got inside, she went right over to knock on Jan’s door, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Come in!”

“Jan, I had an idea!” Crystal let herself in and sat at the desk, as Jan was now in bed with her laptop.

Jan closed the laptop and set it aside. “I’m scared already,” she joked.

“No, no, no, I’m totally serious, and it’s a good idea,” Crystal insisted, shifting to sit cross-legged on the chair. “You and Nicky are like, a million miles apart and that really sucks, right?”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me.”

Crystal waved the comment off and continued. “So here’s the plan—you tell her there’s a big event that you’re going to this summer and you want her to come to visit. Dunno what the event would be, but we can worry about it later.”

The brunette tilted her head to the side. “Like graduation?”

“That’s not enough time. It has to be something that’ll happen in like, a month or something,” she explained. “But you guys will just be so excited to be together that you’ll forget about the event entirely, problem solved.”

Jan stared blankly at her friend, wondering if she had become delirious from too many all-nighters. But then she shrugged, what did she have to lose? “I’ll talk to her about it in the morning, then. It couldn’t hurt to bring up…”

“That’s the spirit!” Crystal clapped her hands together. “Let me know how it goes!” And with that, she left the room with a spring in her step.

And Jan did sleep on it, weighing out the pros and cons of creating an elaborate ruse just to get the girl she was pining after to travel overseas. It wasn’t that they hadn’t talked about visiting each other, but they could never ‘justify’ it, there was always something else they needed to focus on, or the finances just wouldn’t allow it (she wasn’t about to ask her parents to send her to France when they were already paying her bills). The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a decent idea.

After breakfast and a shower, Jan called up Nicky on FaceTime. “Are you busy? I’ve gotta ask you something.”

“You have my undivided attention,” Nicky assured.

Jan smiled, sitting down on the couch. “So, I’ve got this big event coming up next month, and I know we haven’t been able to arrange a visit yet, but I think this would be the perfect opportunity. I really want to see you.”

Nicky tilted her head in curiosity. “I want to see you too. What is the event?”

“A wedding,” Jan answered confidently. She had decided that it would make perfect sense for the time of year.

“I love weddings.” Nicky’s face lit up. “Whose is it?”

Fuck. Why hadn’t she planned one step further? “It’s…” At that moment, she somehow forgot the name of everyone she had ever known for a brief moment, and she wanted to yell at Crystal for giving her this stupid idea in the first place and—

“Crystal and Gigi’s,” she blurted out.

Nicky knew Crystal had a romantic interest in Gigi just from passing conversations, but she had never quite pieced together the nature of their relationship. She was a little surprised at how serious it apparently was, but decided there was no need to question it. “Oh, good for them. I’ll have to double-check, but I think I will be able to be your plus one.”

Jan didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until she exhaled in relief. “Great! I’m so excited, I’m sure Crystal will be thrilled to hear it.”

“Send her my good wishes, I have to get to class, though,” Nicky replied, exchanging goodbyes before the call ended.

“What am I gonna be thrilled to hear?” Crystal asked as she tossed her bag into her bedroom. The door was always left open so TicTac could go in and out as he pleased. She had just returned from class, dried paint splotches still staining her fingers and palms.

Jan’s face froze. Yet another issue she had not accounted for. “Nicky is going to come visit.”

Crystal beamed triumphantly, getting ready to rub her brilliance in the other girl’s face. “See? I told you it—”

“She’s visiting for your and Gigi’s wedding.”

She blinked, looking at her incredulously. “Mine and Gigi’s what now?”

“Look, I panicked, it was the only thing I could think of. And this was your idea anyway, so if I’m going down, you’re coming to hell with me,” Jan got up as she spoke, pacing around the room as she desperately tried to figure out what to do next. “Just go with it, please.”

It had taken another moment for Crystal to fully process the information. How was she supposed to tell Gigi? What was she going to do if she couldn’t get her on board? But she didn’t want to compound Jan’s panic and make everything worse. “Well, Gigi does have a wedding dress in the works…” She looked over at her friend who was still on the verge of an anxiety attack and rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her. “Listen, we’ll make this work. I don’t know how, but we will, I promise.”

Jan took a few deep breaths, allowing herself to be calmed down. She hugged Crystal tightly, hiding her face against her shoulder. “Where do we go from here?” Her voice couldn’t reach above a whisper.

Crystal chewed her lip as she rubbed Jan’s back. “I guess first thing’s first—I have to tell Gigi we’re getting married.”

[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (1/?)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi's wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: 2.8k (this chapter) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode Rating: T (so far)

Read on AO3

also, thanks to @janssports and @imalwaysaslutfordrag for beta-ing xo

“Mail call!” Crystal called out, even though it was only her and Jan in the apartment. She sorted the pile out between the two of them, ending up with two slightly messy stacks. “Looks like you got an international package!”

That brought Jan barreling out of her room, nearly slipping on the rug on her way in. She grabbed onto the counter to support herself, taking a gasp of air before standing upright. “Oh yay!” She grabbed the package with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning and took it back to her room along with the rest of her pile, not bothering to close the door behind her.

Crystal chuckled, looking over to see her cat perched on the couch, staring into Jan’s bedroom with something of a perplexed expression. “It’s nothing for you, Tic. But maybe she’ll let you play in the box,” she mused before her gaze drifted back to her pile of mail, sifting through what inevitably turned out to be nothing but junk. With nothing else of her immediate interest, she wandered into her roommate’s room, sitting on the bed while Jan was at her desk. “What’d you get?”

Jan carefully opened the box, gliding the box cutter down the tape seams so she didn’t have to rip and yank and risk tearing anything inside. She took the neatly folded letter out first, holding it to her face and taking a deep inhale. The scent of patchouli and vanilla wafted into her nose and made her smile. It was the smell she most associated with Nicky, every package and letter she sent came laced with the aroma of her perfume.

“Bonjour, mon petite poupée,” she started to read, ignoring the way Crystal started to laugh at her butchering of the French phrases. “I hope spring is as beautiful there as it is here. I have sent you a box of macarons—I enjoy them year-round, but my mother always loved to bake them the most this time of year. I wanted to send you some of hers, but hopefully bakery ones will suffice. I’d love it if you FaceTime or Skype me when you get them, I want to see your live reaction, and I sent you enough to share with Crystal, so be nice. Until then, câlins et bisous, Nicky.”

Jan smiled broadly as she finished reading the letter, noticing the lipstick kiss print that Nicky signed off every letter with, and gently set it aside. “Okay, it’s like nine at night where she is, she’ll still be up,” she said as she took the pastel box tied neatly with a white lace bow out of the package. “Oh look, this is so cute.” She took out another piece of paper where Nicky had hand-drawn each macaron and wrote the flavor next to it, making a color-coded guide. “Isn’t she so sweet and thoughtful?”

“She told you to share, so yes.” Crystal chuckled, running her hand through her hair to look presentable while Jan called Nicky on Skype.

Nicky answered the call right away. “Hi Jan! Hi Crystal!” She greeted them with energy even though she was dressed for bedtime, wearing a black tank top and white cotton shorts (the latter not being visible in the frame). Her hair was damp, air-drying, and draped over her desk chair. “Did you get my mail?”

Jan nodded, holding the box up for her to see. “Just did. Thank you so much, Nicks. That’s so sweet of you.”

“Of course, I’m still making my way through the gift basket you sent for my birthday. I have opinions on all the different Oreo flavors.” Nicky giggled. They had gotten into a discussion about all the different flavors of the cookie, and she had become obsessed with the idea of trying the variety. So, when her birthday rolled around, Jan had painstakingly arranged a cookie bouquet (along with a few other treats) with as many flavors as she could find.

In the year they’d been communicating, Nicky had both come to expect Jan to go the extra mile and would still be surprised every time. The university course that had brought them together through its pen pal program certainly didn’t require an exchange of presents, but it started with Jan not being to help herself and (unbeknownst to Nicky) progressed into an ever-present desire to impress her.

“We can get to that next, I’m really excited to try these. Which one is your favorite?” Jan asked as she took the bow off the box without untying it and opened it up. “Oooh, it still smells fresh-baked.”

Nicky grinned as she watched her, opening up a bottle of rosé and pouring herself a glass. “I am partial to the red velvet and the apricot.”

Jan licked her lips. “You know I love red velvet.” She plucked the deep red cookie from the box before handing it to Crystal, who was making grabby-hands at it. She waited for her friend to choose and set the box down on her desk. “On three.” She counted down, then took a bite. “Holy shit.” She covered her mouth, not wanting to talk with her mouth full. “Nicks, these are delicious. You’re gonna have to send these on the regular.”

Crystal was enjoying herself just as much. “Is there a word for like, food horny? You know, like it tastes so good, I’m kind of turned on?”

Nicky snorted and Jan looked down and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just say you like it, Crystal.”

“I do,” she confirmed, then looked down at her phone. “Anyway, gotta go. Bye Nicky, thanks for the cookies!” She waved at the screen before darting right out of the room.

Jan chuckled, knowing exactly what propelled Crystal out of the room so quickly and shouted “Tell Gigi I said hi!” after her. Then she faced forward again, her attention effortlessly returned to Nicky. “Anyway, how have you been?” “No complainings,” Nicky hummed, aimlessly strumming her fingers against her glass. “Did you get around to listening to that study playlist I sent you?”

“Oh my god yeah, I forgot to say anything because I kept listening to it after I was done studying and fell asleep,” Jan admitted with a laugh. “You have impeccable taste.”

She twirled her slowly drying hair around her manicured finger. “Tell me something I do not know, darling.” She winked.

Jan’s breath hitched in her throat and she covered it with a cough. Nicky exuded a seductive beauty so effortlessly and it didn’t take much for Jan to get flustered. If their friendship wasn’t exclusively long distance, her crush would have been impossible for Nicky or anyone else to not pick up on. Hell, Crystal only knew because she had been aching for the release of gushing about her feelings and her roommate lent a willing ear. “Last time I did that, we ended up talking about juice boxes for an hour,” she retorted once her body had unclenched.

Nicky chuckled softly at the memory. It was so easy for them to go off on tangents about the smallest things. It was probably her favorite part of her conversations with Jan, everything flowed so easily, awkward silence simply didn’t exist between them. “That is true,” she conceded. “But I’ve got to go eat dinner. We’ll talk tomorrow, yes?”

“Go eat.” She never quite grasped how Nicky always ate dinner so late at night, but she had all but memorized her schedule by now. “Au revoir,” she cooed, just because she knew it would make her laugh, and waved as she ended the call.

------

When Crystal got the text ‘come hang out, im done with class,’ she was out the door before she even sent ‘ok.’ Gigi was a junior while she and Jan were seniors, but all of them going to the same university had their schedules aligning relatively often. But she and Jan were living off-campus, so she didn’t want to waste any time on getting to her.

“Hey.” Gigi smiled, greeting her best friend with a hug. “Come on, we’re going on a coffee run,” she said, leading the way. Her direct nature was something Crystal had appreciated—she didn’t ask questions, she made statements, and it came off as harsh to some, but Crystal was terrible at making daily decisions, so she was happy to leave it in her hands.

“Sounds good. You should come over soon, Jan got these amazing French cookies from Nicky. I think she’ll let us steal some,” Crystal mused, linking their arms as they walked.

“Cool.” She nodded. “Has Jan told Nicky she’s in love with her yet?” It had come up in conversation in the past, leading to Crystal giving the entire backstory of Jan and Nicky’s relationship. Luckily, Jan hadn’t held it against her and could live with one more person knowing the truth.

Crystal laughed softly and shook her head. “Nope. But, you know, you can’t push someone to admit how they feel if they aren’t ready.” Her tone was a bit strained in the remark, looking straight ahead as she spoke.

But Gigi didn’t notice the shift in her voice anyway. “That’s stupid,” she said flatly. “They’re like, four thousand miles apart, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Feelings are feelings.” She shrugged as they entered the café. Of course, she could relate to what Jan was going through, but as far as she was concerned, her situation was worse. A pen pal could be out of sight and out of mind, she reasoned. But having a crush on your best friend made day-to-day life excruciating. She was constantly torn between the desire to distance herself so her emotions didn’t overwhelm, and the powerful urge to spend as much time and be as physically close to Gigi as possible. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the latter would always win. “So, how’s your final project going?”

Gigi let out an exasperated groan. “God, I’m killing myself making a dress for the wedding I’ll never have,” she lamented. “I never want to see white lace again once I’m done with it.”

Crystal winced, averting her gaze. “You don’t think you’ll ever get married?”

“Not the takeaway here, Crys,” she rolled her eyes, but there was still fondness in her expression. “Listen, I’ve made it this far in life without a relationship, maybe that’s just my destiny. I’ll just be far too busy taking over the fashion industry to worry about it.”

It wasn’t a personal rejection, but it was painfully difficult for Crystal not to take it as one. Her heart ached and her chest felt heavy with a sudden sadness, coupled with her active efforts not to let it show. “No, yeah, I get it.”

Gigi rubbed her arm gently. “Don’t let my cynicism ruin that hopeless romantic in you. It gives me hope in this cold, dark world.” She looked into her eyes, silently offering the apology she was just a little too proud to verbalize.

Crystal lightened back up, though she was embarrassed that Gigi had such a hold on her emotions without even realizing it. “I’ll do my best.”

------

Crystal returned to the apartment just as the sun was setting. Coffee had turned to dinner and time had just slipped away from her. But when she got inside, she went right over to knock on Jan’s door, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Come in!”

“Jan, I had an idea!” Crystal let herself in and sat at the desk, as Jan was now in bed with her laptop.

Jan closed the laptop and set it aside. “I’m scared already,” she joked.

“No, no, no, I’m totally serious, and it’s a good idea,” Crystal insisted, shifting to sit cross-legged on the chair. “You and Nicky are like, a million miles apart and that really sucks, right?”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me.”

Crystal waved the comment off and continued. “So here’s the plan—you tell her there’s a big event that you’re going to this summer and you want her to come to visit. Dunno what the event would be, but we can worry about it later.”

The brunette tilted her head to the side. “Like graduation?”

“That’s not enough time. It has to be something that’ll happen in like, a month or something,” she explained. “But you guys will just be so excited to be together that you’ll forget about the event entirely, problem solved.”

Jan stared blankly at her friend, wondering if she had become delirious from too many all-nighters. But then she shrugged, what did she have to lose? “I’ll talk to her about it in the morning, then. It couldn’t hurt to bring up…”

“That’s the spirit!” Crystal clapped her hands together. “Let me know how it goes!” And with that, she left the room with a spring in her step.

And Jan did sleep on it, weighing out the pros and cons of creating an elaborate ruse just to get the girl she was pining after to travel overseas. It wasn’t that they hadn’t talked about visiting each other, but they could never ‘justify’ it, there was always something else they needed to focus on, or the finances just wouldn’t allow it (she wasn’t about to ask her parents to send her to France when they were already paying her bills). The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a decent idea.

After breakfast and a shower, Jan called up Nicky on FaceTime. “Are you busy? I’ve gotta ask you something.”

“You have my undivided attention,” Nicky assured.

Jan smiled, sitting down on the couch. “So, I’ve got this big event coming up next month, and I know we haven’t been able to arrange a visit yet, but I think this would be the perfect opportunity. I really want to see you.”

Nicky tilted her head in curiosity. “I want to see you too. What is the event?”

“A wedding,” Jan answered confidently. She had decided that it would make perfect sense for the time of year.

“I love weddings.” Nicky’s face lit up. “Whose is it?”

Fuck. Why hadn’t she planned one step further? “It’s…” At that moment, she somehow forgot the name of everyone she had ever known for a brief moment, and she wanted to yell at Crystal for giving her this stupid idea in the first place and—

“Crystal and Gigi’s,” she blurted out.

Nicky knew Crystal had a romantic interest in Gigi just from passing conversations, but she had never quite pieced together the nature of their relationship. She was a little surprised at how serious it apparently was, but decided there was no need to question it. “Oh, good for them. I’ll have to double-check, but I think I will be able to be your plus one.”

Jan didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until she exhaled in relief. “Great! I’m so excited, I’m sure Crystal will be thrilled to hear it.”

“Send her my good wishes, I have to get to class, though,” Nicky replied, exchanging goodbyes before the call ended.

“What am I gonna be thrilled to hear?” Crystal asked as she tossed her bag into her bedroom. The door was always left open so TicTac could go in and out as he pleased. She had just returned from class, dried paint splotches still staining her fingers and palms.

Jan’s face froze. Yet another issue she had not accounted for. “Nicky is going to come visit.”

Crystal beamed triumphantly, getting ready to rub her brilliance in the other girl’s face. “See? I told you it—”

“She’s visiting for your and Gigi’s wedding.”

She blinked, looking at her incredulously. “Mine and Gigi’s what now?”

“Look, I panicked, it was the only thing I could think of. And this was your idea anyway, so if I’m going down, you’re coming to hell with me,” Jan got up as she spoke, pacing around the room as she desperately tried to figure out what to do next. “Just go with it, please.”

It had taken another moment for Crystal to fully process the information. How was she supposed to tell Gigi? What was she going to do if she couldn’t get her on board? But she didn’t want to compound Jan’s panic and make everything worse. “Well, Gigi does have a wedding dress in the works…” She looked over at her friend who was still on the verge of an anxiety attack and rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her. “Listen, we’ll make this work. I don’t know how, but we will, I promise.”

Jan took a few deep breaths, allowing herself to be calmed down. She hugged Crystal tightly, hiding her face against her shoulder. “Where do we go from here?” Her voice couldn’t reach above a whisper.

Crystal chewed her lip as she rubbed Jan’s back. “I guess first thing's first—I have to tell Gigi we’re getting married.”

[harryandmolly]

Change of Pace - 21 (Summer 2019)

cowritten by @achinglyshawn

summary: Shawn and Maya meet again 10 years after life got in the way of love

warnings: language

wc: 6.7k

------------

Maya is pouting.

She’s been waiting for tonight for over 48 hours. He’s been busy at the shop and she tells herself it’s probably better because if they spend all their time together, they’re going to fall back into their summer lust without any kind of real foundation for a relationship. 

So busy is good. She’s gotten to start work on another piece -- it’s a little darker, a bleak memory of lying tangled in her sheets in Manhattan unable to sleep because she’s been amped up on Adderall all day. It’s cathartic, though. Artistic release at long last.

She stares out her window in her paint shirt and now signature Daisy Dukes, head cocked, squinting out at the thunderstorm rolling in off the sea. She and Shawn were going to the food truck night in the next town over but the fat raindrops plunking on her weatherproofed deck are telling her to make other plans.

She lifts her phone to text him.

Maya: hi :) mother nature has no mercy. Want to come do movies and food at my place? We can watch the storm come in

Shawn: you mean you don’t want to eat street food in the pouring rain with me? :( 

Maya: you mean you don’t want to come snuggle and watch movies with me?

Shawn: i always want to do my two favorite things with you

Shawn: what’re u thinking for food?

Shawn: i can pick up

Maya: sushi pls! That place on great st. with the funny name? They have that mt. fuji roll

Shawn: mt. fuji, extra gyoza, and the fancy tuna sashimi 

Shawn: dessert?

Maya definitely does not even for a second think about texting him “me.”

Maya: I got bored yesterday and walked down to Russell’s Candy Shoppe on main and got cute vintage penny candy

Shawn: you’re sweet

Shawn: but im gonna need more than penny candy to have a proper dessert

Maya: then by all means grab some mochi while you’re there

Shawn: can i tell you a secret?

Maya: always

Shawn: i’m definitely gonna pick up one of those in-house ice cream cakes from the corner market  

Maya moans a little at reading his text.

Maya: omg bring it on, baby

Shawn: i’ll text u when im on my way, sugar

Maya feels better about their plans now. She thinks she likes these better. A crack of thunder sounds distantly as she climbs the stairs. The power flickers when she’s in the shower rinsing off and her heart throbs hard in her chest. Sometimes it occurs to her how alone she is in this house and it gets to her.

She changes into clingy leggings and a cozy-cute hoodie from the Roxy catalog and by the time she gets back downstairs to light some candles, not too many because she doesn’t want to set “a mood,” it’s absolutely pouring. She hurries to find her garage door opener so she can leave it open for him and he doesn’t have to get drenched walking into the house.

Because that would be just an excuse for him to take his clothes off. Which they don’t need right now.

Shawn manages to stay mostly dry on his venture for food and ice cream cake. He’s got his slicker on and an umbrella in the back, but he’s thankful to see Maya’s garage door open when he pulls into her driveway. 

He parks, shedding his raincoat before getting out of the Jeep. He navigates the food from the backseat, giving himself a free hand to knock on the door with. 

He’s still not sure where they stand on him using her spare keys and letting himself in. He thinks he likes it better this way, for now at least. He likes the anticipation. He thinks it makes their time together that much sweeter. 

Maya has her fingers wrapped around a wide-bowled glass of red and it’s halfway to her lips when she hears him knock. She smiles and puts her glass down next to his, already poured, hurrying on her toes to reach him.

“Hey you,” she murmurs, holding the door open for him to walk through. She takes one of the bags of food he’s hauling in. She expects he’ll want to take off his jacket and shoes but she doesn’t want to wait to kiss him just once before they should probably try to keep their hands and lips mostly to themselves.

She leans in and goes for a peck on his lips but when she gets there, she lingers slightly longer than planned. She missed him. 

He almost drops the sushi when Maya kisses him. He’s not expecting it— they’ve been sticking with kisses on the cheek for greetings. It’s safer that way. 

But then he melts. Maya’s lips linger long enough for him to sigh happily against her mouth. His fingers tighten around the plastic bag handles as they begin to slip, and he only pushes back so he can catch the bottom of the bag with his hand. 

He looks from the sushi to Maya, a bit flustered as he catches his breath. 

“Hi,” he says, a grin pulling across his lips. 

“I, uh,” He chuckles to himself, shakes his head. “I missed you.” 

Maya doesn’t mean to knock him off balance but she’s a little pleased that she did. She smiles, giggling under her breath watching him scrabble to catch the sushi before he drops it. He secures his hand under the bag and smiles down at her. 

“I missed you too. I guess that’s obvious by my pouncing on you when you walked in.”

She’s not really shy about it. She wants him to know she’s been thinking about him and that she wanted him to know that as soon as he got here. He deserves to know how badly she wants him.

Shawn grins, shrugging as he brings the sushi to the kitchen counter. 

“Lucky for you, I like being pounced on,” he coos, untying the plastic knot keeping the bag closed.

She scoops up the bag with the ice cream cake and hurries it to her freezer. Despite the storm, it’s still hot out and she doesn’t want it to melt. The broad, long windows on the side of her house show the storm clouds rolling in, dark and threatening. She’s got plates and wine already set up for them and HBO up on the TV.

She looks over at him while they unpack the sushi. “Did you get a lot done at the shop?”

Maya let’s the freezer door bang shut, then helps him unload the wide variety of sushi he couldn’t help but order. He puts away enough himself, and he knows Maya always eats more sushi than she says she will. 

Shawn hums, lifting a shoulder. “I finished a couple orders, but I still haven’t started on that new bass yet. It’s so fuckin’ delicate. I want to have a day I can dedicate to it.” 

Maya nods. She knows the instrument he means, he told her about it while she was sketching him the other day. It sounds like an intricate job. She understands his desire to be as detail-oriented as possible, it’s a quality they share. She smiles a bit sheepishly.

“I guess I can share you with your shop for another day if you need me to.”

Balance is good. Slow is good. 

She smirks at the insane quantity of sushi he ordered, knowing they’ll probably end up eating it all anyway. She piles some segments from a few different rolls on a plate and points to his wine glass with a wink while strolling barefoot toward her couch to eat.

“That’s for you, hun.”

Shawn looks up at the sound of her voice, sees her pointed finger and follows it to the full glass of wine she poured when he didn’t notice. He smiles and lifts his sushi-filled plate in one hand, reaching for the wine with the other. 

“You know how to treat a guy right, don’t you?” 

He follows her to the couch, toeing off his shoes so her can settle in as comfortably as Maya does. He leans back, kicks his legs up onto the coffee table. 

“So,” he asks through a mouthful of rice, “What are we watching?” 

Shawn plops himself down next to her in a way that says her house feels at least a little like his home, too. She adjusts her position next to him, swinging her legs up to fold beside her, leaning in up against his arm while she drops a sashimi piece in her mouth. She purrs at the taste of the fresh fish.

“I narrowed it down to,” she begins, swallowing her own bite, “‘We’re the Millers’ or ‘When Harry Met Sally.’ Food picker-upper’s choice.”

It was an old tradition of theirs -- whoever brought over food could pick the movie. They almost always agreed on stuff to watch, though.

Like a snake, Shawn unhinges his jaw around a plump piece of sushi, nodding and humming as he considers the options she gives him. He hasn’t seen the former, and he’s seen the later more times than he should probably admit. 

He looks at Maya, watches the way her cheeks bulge as she pops pieces of sushi into her mouth. His lips twitch. She looks like a chipmunk, a little, her nose twitching as she chews. 

Maya glances out the windows when another loud crack sounds closer to the house. The rain pounds harder against the windows.

“Gonna have good waves tomorrow,” she murmurs, handing him the remote, reaching for another bite of sushi.

He takes the remote, deciding he’s in the mood for something new and selects We’re the Millers. Presses play and sips his wine.

“Wanna have a beach day? Or well. Half day? I should go into the shop but I can hang out in the morning.” 

Maya watches Jason Sudeikis start to round up his band of misfits, enjoying the light comedy amidst the raging storm outside. She pops another bite of sushi in her mouth and follows it with a sip of wine.

“I’d love that,” she says, eyeing him from the side, “But if you have to spend the day at the studio, I can deal.”

She smiles supportively despite how badly she wants to take him up on the offer.

Shawn nods as he chews on a piece of tuna. He knows they’re both trying to navigate between wanting to be together all the time and giving each other space. 

But they haven’t gone to the beach together since starting this take-it-slow dating thing, so he thinks a half day wouldn’t be too much. 

“I can spare a half day to have some fun in the sun with you,” he says with a grin, reaching over with his chopsticks to steal a piece of gyoza from her plate, since he forgot to take some for himself. 

Maya smacks at his chopsticks to sabotage him when he steals from her plate but the dumpling is in his mouth before she can protest.

“Rude,” she mumbles, elbowing him teasingly and scooting just a touch closer.

He’s warm and firm and smells a little woody. She doesn’t make a show of snuggling up to him, but she does unfold her legs and cross them next to his noticeably.

Shawn feels Maya shift closer, so he settles back into the couch and angles himself towards her. Luckily, she sits to his left, so he can casually drape his arm along the back of the couch, behind her shoulders, while still pinching sushi between his soy sauce-stained chopsticks. 

Maya snorts a little at the TV and covers her mouth. This movie is so fucking funny -- she forgot how funny. It’s nice just to laugh with him and feel no pressure at all. The storm rages on around them. She absently hopes her studio isn’t leaking from the roof again, but she covered her pieces with dropcloths just in case.

“Jennifer Aniston is so hot,” Maya comments through a mouthful of salmon.

Shawn pauses, mid-pinch. He looks at Maya, watches her stare at Jennifer Aniston. He grins. 

“I’ve always had the worst crush on her. Did I ever tell you that?” 

He thinks he used to pretend not to have celebrity crushes because it made him lame or something. Or because he didn’t want Maya thinking he was a gross jerk, or something. Or probably because he didn’t want to say anything to make Maya think he wasn’t completely gone for her. 

Probably a combo of all three. The reasons feel silly now. 

Maya chuckles and leans into his arm a little, welcoming him to stay close to her. She shakes her head and daubs some wasabi on a firecracker roll for an extra punch. She shrugs.

“No, but it doesn’t shock me. All straight guys are obsessed with her. Understandably.”

Now that she’s thinking about it, she doesn’t really know who his celebrity crushes are. They never used to talk about that stuff, like they were afraid to acknowledge that they’d ever found anyone else attractive.

She angles herself toward him and quirks an eyebrow. “Who else, then? Spill the tea. Or whatever kids say now.”

Shawn’s got a mouthful of tuna and feeling cornered by the question. He chews and swallows and looks down at his plate as his shoulders lift in a small shrug. 

“I dunno,” he laughs. He actually hasn’t thought about a celebrity crush in years. He’s been focused on work, and the only woman he ever thought about was Maya, when he was feeling self-indulgent enough to let himself. 

He chews through a piece of salmon, glancing at her.

“Okay, actually. I do know,” he sighs, shaking his head and looking back to the TV. He smiles. “Amy Adams. Especially as Lois Lane.”

Maya laughs, delighted. “Of course! She’s totally got that wholesome-hot thing going on. That makes a lot of sense for you, actually.”

Maya glances out the window, considering it. She doesn’t, naturally, love the vision of Shawn and Amy Adams but she can see they’d look good together. Of course they would.

She hums low in her throat and bites down on her last piece of sushi, a slice of perfect toro sashimi.

“Amy Adams is gorgeous,” she admits. She’s gorgeous in a very different way than Maya is. She knows that. She thinks given the choice, Shawn would probably still choose Maya. That makes her smile.

“I think my number one celebrity crush is Mila Kunis, which is the most frat-bro answer ever.”

Shawn laughs. Everyone loves Mila Kunis, so he’s not surprised, just like she wasn’t surprised about Aniston. 

He picks up another piece of sushi, swishing it around in the soy sauce on his plate. He shrugs, “Yeah, probably, but the frat-bros aren’t wrong when it comes to her. So it’s okay.” 

He pops the whole piece in his mouth, chewing greedily as he tries not to think about Maya and Mila Kunis making out. He doesn’t need to go there, not if they’re gonna keep this night PG-13.

She knew Shawn would agree about Mila. Every straight man in North America agrees about Mila. She likes that they’re talking about this kind of stuff now and not hiding it away because they’re worried about getting uncomfortable. She doesn’t even mind that they share celebrity crushes. Crushes are fun.

“Can I tell you something, though?” 

She puts her plate back on the coffee table and leans back against the warmth of his arm around the back of her couch.

She smiles up at him. “Always.”

Shawn follows Maya’s lead, lifting his plate from his lap to set it on the table. He wipes his sticky fingers on his napkin and tosses it onto the plates with the rest of their debris. When they’re both settled again, his arm casually on the back of the sofa once more, Shawn finds the words for his admission. 

“I always, like, had celebrity crushes, I guess, but. I don’t know. I never crushed on anyone as hard as I crushed on you. I only really went to that art show in college because I knew you were going to be showing pieces and I wanted to see them, and see if I could catch a glimpse of you, too.” 

He’s never admitted that to her. He always felt weird about it, before. Now it feels silly. He was a boy with a crush, not some creep. Well, he hopes Maya sees it that way, at least. He glances at her, lips pressed together as his heart rattles in a cage. 

What a reckless thing to admit. Oh, well. He wanted her to know. He thinks she deserves the truth. 

Maya doesn’t mean to laugh, exactly. She’s not laughing at him. She’s laughing because she’d never guess that hearing something like this from him now would have her quite so smitten and bashful. It’s 15 years ago, this night he’s talking about. And he makes it sound like it was last week.

“God, I love that. I… thank you for telling me that. That’s…”

She trails off, going very pink and giggly. She’s acting more juvenile now than she did that night she met him when they were both just kids. She remembers how sweet and vulnerable he seemed then, hands in his pockets, gazing up at her pieces that she kind of hated like they were worth a fortune to him.

He doesn’t expect her to laugh. He partly expected her to be weirded out, partly expected her to maybe find it sweet. He didn’t think what he said was very funny, though. 

Shawn raises his brows. 

“You, ah, you’re welcome,” he replies, corner of his lips twitching with the urge to smile, because her laughter is infectious.

Her laughter peters out, and then she looks at him in a way he feels like she hasn’t before. Well, maybe since college. It’s a look that sears him from the inside out, had his breath catching in his throat.

She swallows. It was so long ago. But when she looks up at him now, he looks just the same, sweet and vulnerable as ever, undeterred by being unlucky in love.

She thinks his luck is changing. 

Slowly, carefully so he can stop her if he wants, she tucks a hand around the back of his neck and guides his lips to hers for a deep, perfect kiss.

Shawn goes easily when Maya pulls him close, her lips moulding to his in a way that has his heart hammering. He groans, reaching around to cup her face, tilting her head back to sweeten the kiss. 

Maya’s trying not to think about the fact that this kiss is maybe the longest they’ve shared since they rebooted their relationship. She doesn’t want to get clammy and anxious, she doesn’t want to overthink this. She wants to relax. 

Maya murmurs gently into his mouth when he holds her cheek. She lets her weight settle back, necessitating the need for him to come forward to meet her. 

She doesn’t know how long she’s going to get to keep him like this. She gently swipes her tongue into his mouth, tickling her fingers up the nape of his neck to twist and pluck at the tiny curls there that she’s missed. 

Shawn aches from the tenderness of the kiss, from the way she melts into the couch and coaxes him with her. He leans on to his hip, falling after her, his arm slipping down around her shoulders. 

Her fingers in his hair sends shivers down his spine, and he accepts her tongue eagerly with a gentle hum.

Shawn slides his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck, fingers weaving through her dark, silken curls. He breaks the kiss only to dive in again, this time sucking lazily at her lip, though lightly enough to stay away from anything too tempting.

God, he feels so fucking good. 

He purrs into her mouth and it’s gorgeous. It eggs her on. When he parts from her to suck at her lip, she whimpers and pulls her other hand up to his chest to feel him breathe. 

He feels so sturdy and stable. She wants to just hang on him by her fingers in his hair until their limbs fall asleep. She moves her hand up a little higher to massage the back of his neck as he leans over her. 

The thunder remains loud. In fact, if Maya were paying attention, she’d notice it’s the loudest it’s been. But she’s not. She’s consumed by him. 

Shawn doesn’t think they’ve ever kissed like this before. He keeps thinking that lately, that all the kisses they’ve shared in the last couple weeks are different. This is the closest to making out they’ve gotten, and it’s nothing like how they would make out in the beginning of the summer. Or when they were in college. 

She’s tender but eager, pliable but steady. She kisses him like maybe she really could fall in love with him again, and not like she’s just throwing caution to the wind for nostalgia’s sake. She’s making his stomach twist with fucking butterflies. 

She hums into his mouth this time, pulling away just slightly, “This is ok, right? This is fine?”

His lips fall to her jaw when she pulls back without warning. His eyes open, brows raising as he leans away to get a proper look at her. Her cheeks are flushed, lips swollen from his ministrations, but he notes a worried gleam in her eye like she thinks he really might say it’s not okay. 

“Yeah,” he rasps, maybe too eagerly, “Yes. It-- I mean, it’s totally okay with me, if it’s okay with you. Is it? Okay with you? Cause we can do something else. Anything you want.” 

Maya smiles, her eyes drifting shut. She lifts her hand from his chest to cup his cheek and exhales a little chuckle.

“Yeah. I’m-- Yeah. I missed this. I just don’t want to move too fast. I just…”

She pecks her lips to his quickly, as if to tide her over. “I don’t know how fast is too fast and how slow is too slow.”

She swallows and looks up into his beautiful brown eyes. She brushes her nose against his and continues her fingers’ calming motion through his hair.

It feels impossibly cheesy to think, but Shawn’s sure he could look into Maya’s eyes. Especially when she looks at him like that. He’s lost in that look, and in the rhythmic stroking of her fingers in his hair like he loves so much. 

His hand finds her cheek once more. He shakes his head.

“I don’t either, sugar,” he murmurs, thumb brushing across her round, pink cheek, “It’s not— well, this isn’t something I’m used to navigating. But what I do know is, I really, really enjoy kissing you.” 

He smiles, his lips brushing against hers as her does. 

Maya’s lips spark as his skim across hers. She inhales and lets herself have him, just a little more of him. She lifts her hand up higher in his hair and secures it, fingers vined in his curls, wrapping the other arm around his shoulders. 

“Then let’s keep doing that.”

“Yeah, let’s keep--”

Maya’s lips are on Shawn’s before he can finish his eager agreement. She pulls him in with small palms against broad shoulders, has him sinking further until he’s nearly pressed on top of her. 

She’s not sure where to put her hands so she keeps them confined mostly to his neck and shoulders. She gets just a little daring when she seeks out the hot skin just under the collar of his T-shirt with her sneaky fingertips. She feels under control, though. And it’s not even a little boring. 

He behaves himself, keeps an arm curled safely around her shoulders while his hand rests on her hip, high enough to remain innocent. He finds himself sucking on her lip once more, flicking it gently with his tongue before getting it between his teeth. He’s delicate with all of it, less insistent or voraciously desperate than he was only a few weeks ago. 

He finds, really, that he enjoys this much better. This is how they should’ve been kissing all along. 

Maya’s fingers find his skin and send a shiver down his spine, have his fingers curling into her hip. She leaves soft, subtle strokes along the base of his neck that shouldn’t send him reeling nearly as much as they are. He groans into her mouth, then moves his hand on her shoulder to the back of her head. He cradles her carefully while he rolls off of his hip, sitting back and pulling Maya with him. 

He goes until he’s lying on the couch, Maya relaxed on top of him as they continue to kiss lazily, as if they’ve suddenly got all the time they never had before.

Maya thinks this feels more like exploration than anything they’ve ever done together, maybe even dating back to when they first got together in college. Even then, everything was frantic, hurried, desperate. This is different.

As he teases her lips and tugs her on top of him when he lies down, Maya starts to wonder if they’ve ever just… made out. I mean, of course they have, but have they ever made out just to make out, and not because they didn’t have time to have sex? If they have, Maya doesn’t remember. Maybe they’ve always been a little bit desperate.

Maya shifts on top of him, getting comfortable. She props herself up on her forearm and lets one of her legs slot between his without getting too suggestive. She pulls up from the depth of the kiss a little, brushing the tip of her nose against his. She pecks little soft kisses on his top lip, then the bottom one, then his nose.

“This is nice,” she whispers, kissing his cheeks next.

Maya eases into him so well. She practically melts on top of him, sighing into his mouth as his hands glide up the length of her back until he reaches her shoulder blades.

Shawn smiles as she drops quick kisses to his lips. He tries to catch her with a kiss of his own, but she moves to his nose, then his cheek. 

He smirks into the soft angle of her jaw, his nose brushing against her cheek as he nods. 

“This is really nice, Lu,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to the soft skin just beneath her ear. He trails to her jaw, where he idles, humming at presses kiss after gentle kiss to her skin.

His lips trail off after hers do. They make her smile and shiver a little. She hugs him closer, lifting her fingers through his hair like she used to when he couldn’t fall asleep. She closes her eyes and lets herself wonder if it’ll be like this for them for a while. Or forever.

Maya hears her throat clear. She doesn’t study whether or not asking him this while they’re in this position might be a bit tactless. She just wants to feel like she can always ask him anything.

She pulls up, disconnecting, rather reluctantly, his lips from her smooth jaw. She swallows and cups his cheek, brushing her thumb along the underside of his beautifully defined cheekbone.

He’s distracted with the sweet taste of her skin when she pulls away from him. He blinks his eyes open, smiling slightly as she strokes his cheek.

“I have to ask,” she says, voice wavering, “With Leah… when you married her, did you think it was going to be forever?”

Shawn’s brows raise. That’s not anything he was expecting her to ask. 

He’s not sure how to answer. 

“Ah—“ he wets his lips, looking down between them. He takes a breath in, looks back up at her. “I wanted it to be. I told myself I would make it last. But, uh, I don’t—“ he smiles, closes his eyes and shakes his head, “I don’t think I ever really felt it in my gut.” 

Maya nods thoughtfully and looks down at her fingers brushing against the freckles on his neck. 

“I guess I was hoping you’d say that,” she confesses, “Not because… I mean, obviously I want you to be happy, but if you were happy with her you wouldn’t be here, so…”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. She’s getting tangled up. She blinks a few times and starts again. 

“I just mean that everyone always says you just... know. And I’ve never understood it. I don’t think you can understand unless you feel it. If you say you didn’t truly feel like it was forever, I think maybe that gives me some weird hope that the knowing thing, it’s real.”

She hopes it’s ok she’s blabbering about this. She feels like it’s a touchy subject to bring up, not just because of Leah, but because they’re supposed to be taking it slow. 

Shawn can’t control the adoring smile that splits his lips as Maya babbles. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard her ramble like this, like she’s nervous to be honest with him. Even when she told him she’d been lying about New York, she was clear and concise. 

He doesn’t mind when she gets flustered. He likes thinking that maybe he makes her as nervous as she makes him. 

The way he smiles at her assures her she wasn’t out of line, she wasn’t even really ruining the mood. He smiles like he knows something she doesn’t. It’s not infuriating the way that it was at work when the guys on her team thought they were smarter than she was. He smiles like he’s been there and he wants to help her through it.

Carefully, Shawn slides his hand from her shoulder blade to the back of her head, fingers curling in her hair. He nudges her nose with his, dropping a soft kiss to her lips as her babbling dies down. 

“The knowing thing is definitely real. I promise.” 

Maya’s breath hitches. As he pulls back to speak, her lips follow his. She bites down on her lower lip to keep herself from muffling his words in her mouth.

He’s not sure he’s allowed to say, Because I know with you, yet. They’re trying to go slow not only physically, but emotionally too. He can’t help his gut, though. She’s always had a hold on his heart in a way no one else has ever managed. He couldn’t change it even if he wanted to. 

(He knows. He tried. It ended in divorce.) 

Her stomach completely flips. On some level, she knew. She knows he loves her. He’s always been the one that was sure. Even now, after everything, he still knows. It makes her want to squeal and throw herself into him and never let him leave, not that he wants to.

As she looks down at him, she feels safe. That much is certain. She doesn’t feel a rush to get to where he is now. She’ll know when she knows. She believes him.

Shawn’s answer seems to placate Maya, who bites her lip and looks down at him like she couldn’t be happier with what he’s said. He tucks a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, fingertips brushing gently over the shell.

She dips her head and kisses him again, settling back into his body as the storm starts to pass. The rain is getting lighter, the thunder quieter. Soon it’ll just be silent around them.

Then, she kisses him. It’s firm, but sweet, and feels like she’s trying to tell him she’s gonna love him back one day, just as much as he loves her. He hums into her mouth, his fingertips still toying lightly with her ear and massaging her scalp. 

He lets her kiss him for a few seconds and she thinks maybe he’s going to let her stay there lavishing him with kisses as long as her heart desires. Needless to say, they’d end up being there a while.

His gentleness is so comforting she feels like she could fall asleep just lying here, kissing him. She doesn’t want to.

He pulls away after a moment, not because he wants to, but because now he’s got a question for her, and he’s not sure he’ll find a better time to bring it up. 

He kisses her cheek, then the angle of her jaw. 

“Can I ask you something now?” he murmurs, nosing her temple softly.

He shifts back and it’s probably for the best because her eyelids are fluttering and she’s so lost in him she almost can’t find her way back.

She nods at his prompt, tracing her fingertips along the contours of his throat.

Her fingers find his neck, and Shawn’s eyes fall shut. He lets himself revel in it for a moment, in the way she touches him so lovingly. His heart hammers, stomach twisting, and now he’s all the more nervous to ask his question. 

He takes his time asking and she can’t pretend it doesn’t make her more anxious. It’s good, she has to remind herself, the openness feels hard right now but it’s just because you’re not good at it yet.

He wets his lips, finally blinking to look at her again. 

Shawn smiles, brings his palm to her cheek. 

He swallows, takes a breath. “Is it okay that I know because of you?” 

He figures she already knows. But there’s a difference between an unspoken truth and a spoken one. He wants to be sure she knows what he means. He feels like he’s been transparent with the way he feels about her, too much so in the months before now. But he wants her to know it wasn’t all just nostalgia and longing for a comfort he once knew. 

Maya stares down at him in wonder. He’s saying what he thinks she’s saying. He’s not dancing around it, he’s not being coy, he’s telling her he loves her and he’s going to forever. Her breath comes short in her chest. She closes her eyes and exhales through her nose nice and slow.

“God, yes. That’s… more than ok. That’s amazing.”

Amazing. 

Amazing is his new favorite word. It’s amazing, she thinks, that he’s in love with her. She thinks the way he feels about her is amazing. 

He thinks she’s amazing. 

She kisses him again, just quickly, because she’s not done yammering.

“Because if you know that means I’ll know, too. When… it’s time.”

Now she is being somewhat coy, but she knows he knows what she means.

He smiles into her kiss, too busy thinking about the way she purred when she said amazing. 

As always, however, Maya manages to grab his attention. He lifts his brows, taking a slow, calming breath through his nose. His tongue darts out, wetting his lower lip. 

“You-- ah-- You mean because of me, right? I mean, I guess that’s what you probably mean but I just wanna--, you know, for the, uh, the sake of clarity, eh?” 

Maya’s nose twitches as she tries to tamp down a ridiculous smile. She feels a little more empowered now to skip right past coy. She pecks his lips again, pulling up to press her forehead to his.

“For the sake of clarity,” she begins teasingly, “I mean that if you really know that this is it for you, that you want me forever, then I trust your judgment. And I believe I can get to a place where I know, completely certainly, that this is it for me.”

It’s the best she can do for now. It’s honest. It’s not overreaching or underselling. It’s exactly how she feels. And it feels good to be that candid. 

Shawn swallows, arms dropping to her waist when she gets close, murmuring low. 

She gives him the closest thing to I love you he can think of. Closer than he ever thought he’d get so soon after— well, after screwing up and fighting and rebooting the entire thing. 

But it’s not a total reboot, because there’s history between them. They’re just not so afraid of it, anymore. 

He smiles, then catches her lips in a gentle kiss, because she’s there, and one day she’s gonna be in love with him again. 

Small victories, right?

“Just, take your time, okay? We have so much time. I’m really— I’m looking forward to it. To the journey, or whatever,” his voice rasps and he rolls his eyes at himself at the end, but he means it. 

He thinks, maybe, he’s ready for the real kind of relationship he never was before. 

Maya tips her forehead back against his when he rolls his eyes. She closes hers and strokes the pad of her thumb down his throat.

She doesn’t think she’ll need much time. Falling in love with him again seems a foregone conclusion. She appreciates more than she can say that he’s being so patient with her. It’s one thing to hold off on having sex for a while but to give her the space to come to her own conclusions about their relationship, it takes a lot of strength, maturity and confidence.

So how could she not be in love with him?

The truth is, it’s not about him, the reason she can’t fall into this with him now. Maya has been a shell for 12 years, by choice. She feels like she’s still learning to live again and not just exist. Letting Shawn in all at once will fill the holes in her that she hasn’t spackled yet, but she won’t be whole. She has to spend time with herself, learn to be and love herself again before she can love him the way he deserves to be loved.

After a few pleasantly, comfortably silent moments, Maya tilts her head and drops her lips onto his once more. She sweeps falling hair up behind her ear and leans into it.

“Thank you,” she murmurs sincerely into his mouth.

He kisses the thanks from her lips, humming softly as he cups the back of her head and strokes his fingers lovingly through her hair. He pulls back after a minute, when he feels his stomach growl to remind him of the ice cream cake in the freezer. 

“Mmm,” he hums, fingers finding her chin so he can tilt her head back, “You know how you can really thank me, Lemon?”

He smiles, then sinks his teeth into his lower lip to feign coy innocence as he tilts his head at her, as if his request is something she’ll need convincing to do. 

Maya’s heart reaches up into her throat. She squirms on top of him slightly. His fingers feel almost too hot on her skin. Watching him bite into his lip has her almost panting on top of him.

“What…. Uhm, how?” she stutters.

A slow, cheshire cat grin splits Shawn’s lips. He reaches for the disobedient strand of hair that keeps falling in Maya’s face, tucks it behind her ear while his thumb grazes her jaw. 

“You can help me eat the ice cream cake in the freezer that’s calling my name.” 

He raises his brows, eyes crinkling at the corners as if to ‘Gotchya!’ 

Maya’s face goes a little red and she rolls her eyes, burying her bashful face into his neck while she laughs.

“You’re such an idiot,” she groans, kissing along his throat while she hauls herself up on her hands over him. Reluctantly, she peels off the warmth of his body and helps him off the couch, keeping their fingers tangled on the way to the freezer. She swings his arms around her waist and hobbles them both over.

They sit at her bar with pieces of cake. They talk about nothing and everything. They don’t go back to the couch. She walks him out a couple hours later when they’re both nearly half asleep. She kisses him goodnight. He calls her ‘sugar.’ She’s so happy.

----------

Taglist: @smallerinfinities​ @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn​ @infiniteshawn​ @mendesoft​ @singanddreamanyway​ @alone-in-madness​ @abigfatmess​ @shawnitsmutual​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @september-lace​ @sinplisticshawn​ @rollingxstone​ @yslsaint​ @randi-eve​ @fallmoreinlove​ @heyits-claire​ @itrocksmysocks​ @parkerspicedlatte​ @simpledomain​ @abeautiful-and-cloudy-day​ @thecurlsofgod @magcon7280​ @bensbuttercup​ @shawnsmusical​ @paigeasourous​ @tell-me-when-ur-ready​ @softmendesss​ @searchingunderthestars​ @buggy-blogs​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @siennarossi​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @umbreakablesoul​ @sleepybesson​ @shawnsheaven​ @desire-to-live​ @jillian-nd​ @shawnwyr​ @curlsofshawn​ @graysonmendes​ @tnhmblive​ @meltingicequeen​

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

okay this is my last post I know I'm being very annoying and I hate to clog the tag but I just have to scream into the void for a while if you disagree or you're annoyed with me please just scroll past this rant thank you

- the hitman plot. god. we all hate that shit. what I realllllly hate is how long and drawn out it is. should've been one episode tops, like when dean tried it. I want to say, that obviously it's not gonna work bcz it would be stupid to kill off the character carrying the entire show, but at this point maybe they are gonna kill him off??? idfk. maybe it's a punishment for all the people (everyone) who like him. truthfully the whole "murder is our only way out of this" attitude is disappointing and seemingly out of character for all of the girls. Boomer attacked annie and they let him fuckin live. They knew he was a fuckin rapist piece of shit, and a regular piece of shit too, but couldn't kill someone. But apparently killing someone beth, at one point, felt some typa way about...smh..apparently that is A ok and they don't even explore other options or feel the least bit guilty?? even when they "mourned" boomer it was more about marion than him. But rio and his whole ass innocent child are not a thought at all??? Wild. Truly. Also....what do they think will happen?? If I were a gang leader's right hand the first person I would check upon seeing my boss get murdered would probably be the person who tried to murder him last time lmao. Do they really think they would get away with it? Even if they didnt get caught, they wouldnt be off the hook. Surely mick would just keep things going, with even less leeway. And what happens when their illegal activities bite them in the ass when Rio is gone? Who are they gonna blame everything on? Who is gonna clean up their mess? No one. And this whole "I'm not doing it, wait yes I am, wait no I'm not, wait I'm gonna do it" thing the hitman is doing is...not it. I'm assuming were gonna get an explanation about how he knew that this was a crime of passion (lol)

-beth beth beth......you know there is a theory floating around that she has serious ptsd and I actually would love to see that explored but that shit ain't happening lol. I'm tired of feeling like I'm analyzing her character. At what point is it too much. She's hard to read but I think it has crossed the line over complex and ventured into poor characterization. She's gotten chances and chances and I'm tired. And dean. God I'm tired. I feel like all season I've been watching beth do the same thing, play good wifey, risk her (and Annie's and Ruby's) life by doing stupid shit..and that's basically it. Face some fckn consequences for your actions please. Take some responsibility. I feel like the show is showing us inklings of...something...bubbling underneath the surface but it's not our job to fill in the blanks or interpret shit. I do not work for nbc. I'm not getting paid for this. What is this girl thinking trying to get rio to invest in hot tubs (bless her calling dean an idiot. fuck this show for making him suddenly a good salesman) while trying to kill him. Does she think he dies and suddenly she owns it?? Makes zero sense. Also unpopular opinion i dont like that she caused a scene with the pool ball. Like....of course he isnt listening to you....you shot him...3 times....then stole from him....and have been screwing him over repeatedly.

-dean just....no. I understand that beth has so much going on in her life right now that divorce isn't exactly on her mind and dean is the last trace she has left of a normal life so shes holding onto it for dear life.....actually no. I do not know if any of that is actually true or if I'm just interpreting wrong. Because the subtext and editing and parallels and all that would be fine and dandy but not when that's all the show is at this point. If dean cheating yet again is not gonna make beth leave him, nothing will. I want his screentime to be 30 seconds and nothing more.

-im just not invested in the boland children. Annie and ruby have both struggled real bad, but beth, the one in the deepest, has 4 children who are somehow unaffected by this?? Not to mention the whole divorce, wait never mind, oh look a gang leader hanging out with mommy again, oh look our house is empty, type stuff happening. Beth's kids should be going through it but for some reason they arent? Maybe it's because child labor laws or something lol.

- rio. At this point I'm rooting for him for than anything. But I genuinely do not know why he hasnt killed beth. She's proven herself to be more of a liability than an asset and I just cannot understand why he hasnt killed her. Unless it's the whole "feelings" route, which wouldve made him look dumb, but made sense based on what we were given. This is actually the direction I thought the season was going but now it just seems like he is a bad businessman lol. Obviously she cant die for the sake of the show, but its like they didnt even try to make it make sense. He definitely knows about the hitman btw. I dont really blame him for anything he's done with beth so far. He robbed her in retaliation. He had to cut her off when she started acting shady. 🤷‍♀️ he let's her get away with too much tbh. It's a shame that this character isnt being utilized. Its like they are banking on this mysterious aura to keep working, but we are 3 seasons in and it's a little old now. I personally think that they just don't know what to do with him now. Also can I point out how dumb he looks showing beth that he is doing business at the carwash, why would he give her more information than she needs when he is suspicious of her? I cant tell if I was happy with how unphased he looked about her outburst or if I wish he checked her.

-mick. Did his side plot with beth die? How does it seem like this show simultaneously moves through plots every episode but is also stuck in the same one for the entire season? I also think mick is not being utilized. As funny as it is for him to be a built in 3rd wheel all the time, they could do so much more. Like can you imagine if beth mouthed off or fucked up and mick checked her? The possible ways a plot like that could go...untapped potential.

-ruby. Ah...I remember when I thought her and stan's fight was dragging for too long. Miss those days. See even tho ruby and stan seem to have the same issue over and over it's not the same story. Pen cap, new job, sarah stealing, all the same fight, but with different stories. And it really seems like Ruby's always going through it but I appreciate the variety. Stan's storyline has been interesting but I dont know how much it relates to the central plot. Sarah....great. that actress is so talented and even tho shes an attitude machine (what preteen is not) i just love her scenes. Harry seems to be missing a lot. The hills are the only part I seem to enjoy anymore. Really wish the show would explore why ruby seems to be the one who keeps getting caught up with the law...I wonder what it could be....what is different about her..hm...

- annie. Backtracked so much. Wish she had a single plot that didnt revolve around men. Now shes trying to cheat on her GED. Where's the snark? Where's the wit? It seems like all she is now is a codependent insecure mess. And I'm tired of this fuckass therapist. I thought her study montage was gonna end in a "she didnt need anyone but family (:" lesson but it did not for whatever reason. I thought by bringing a therapist into the show it was gonna give us more of a look at Annie's and Beth's upbringing and relationship. Or help annie work through her issues, the boomer thing too. Or maybe lead to Beth's ptsd diagnosis. Therapy could've helped move the plot forward or help the characters grow, but it's doing the opposite of that. If its not contributing to the main plot, what is its purpose? To give annie yet another terrible love interest?

To summarize....I hate it here.