#i really don't like the OH U R PERFECT! THE WORLD NEEDS TO ACCEPT U AS WHO U R MINDSET cuz sometimes we really need to level up and change | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

linseia · 2 years ago

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Yes, I've been reading my old journals recently, going through my older posts, and letters I sent my friends when I was sad. Learning, relearning, analyzing my own behavior and reflecting has always been the toughest yet the most exciting phases of my life honestly, I'm embracing whatever life is giving me and seeing it as a learning opportunity to grow and show up as the highest version of myself.

Take cold showers, drink tea, watch informative YouTube videos, read, meet up with friends, FaceTime friends, keep up with extracurricular work, don't get unnecessarily stressed about the 'aesthetic' of your notes, reflect regularly, achieve constantly.

You have this one life. How do you wanna spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don't see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud.

Remember, inner peace begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to control your thoughts. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose, Let go, breathe, and begin again. You're getting better. You're flourishing. You're leaving behind all that doesn't serve your highest good. You're getting rid of negative thought patterns, habits, and behaviors. Deep down you know you can do it. You know all the potential you have. Now is the time to step it up. You'll get to a point in your life when you realize it's been months, years, decades... and you forgot to live.

Life is not Instagram. Life is not Facebook. Life is not texting. Life is forgetting your phone at home, going on an adventure with people that mean the most to you, feeling, sensing, actually looking around at the world and its beauty instead of your screen, and coming home with a huge smile on your face and a story to tell. I'd challenge anyone to stop picking up his or her phone, stop walking around the city looking down at it and try to remember what you experienced when you were a child. The universe is so much more interesting than any Instagram or text will ever be.

Wake up early. Drink coffee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right, and your head up. Do well, live well, and dress really well. Do what you love, love what you do. It is time to start living. write letters and notes to yourself make little promises to yourself.

A big part of being happy is being excited. be excited for everything - making a cup of tea, decorating your future apartment, seeing a friend again, falling in love unexpectedly, the next episode of a show you like, finishing something stressful, buying something you've been saving up for, a new album, sunsets, traveling, road trips, and the feeling of going to bed after a long day. think of something to be excited about and daydream about it often when you're sad.

Retype your class notes. Add in info from other sources. Make summary folders out of the info. Run through them, keep a tally. When studying for an exam, print out those typed notes and highlight and annotate the shit out of them to link everything and structure the notes properly. Rewrite this structured format. Use those summary foldable to memorize the content. Do your homework the day you get it. Pack your bag the night before no matter how tired you are. Honestly, you need to drag your ass out of bed at the time you told yourself you would wake up. Relax when you're commuting. Whether that means listening to music, reading, or even sleeping, please use that time to relax. If you want, you can create that day's to-do list to get yourself a little motivated for the afternoon ahead. Take structured cornel notes in class. When studying, use those corners to create fake tests. Take those fake tests, uncover the holes in your knowledge/argument. Fill those holes. Keep up with your drama logbook and homework. Learn how to research efficiently.

LET'S DO OUR BEST! WE GOT THIS! WE'VE DONE THIS BEFORE, WE CAN DO IT AGAIN!!

sometimes you fall down in life and it sucks!!!!!! like it’s actually terrible but… hey. u gotta get back up champ bc u r a STAR. in other words, i have fallen down recently and this is how i plan on getting back up. bc i am a star.

starting easy

clean your room bc outer peace brings inner peace

clean yourself bc outer peace brings inner peace and this means removing your makeup washing your face brushing your teeth combing your hair wearing nice-smelling clothes

drink a glass of water because hydration. important.

play a happy song like rlly whatever u want that makes u happy and want to dance

i know this might sound hard but like u got this i believe in u

moving on

ok this is hard part but u still got this love

think about everything that is wrong literally like EVERYTHING but maybe not everything bc maybe it will stress you out but maybe writing it will be cathartic whatever works for u

find solutions for those problems

i know i make it sound super easy and i know it’s actually really hard but usually u know what the solution is just something is holding u back

so rlly decide that that is the solution

tell urself, “this is how i am going to fix this”

to make this very hard and difficult step, please be nice to yourself by listening to cool tunes and rocking eyeliner

it rlly helps

organising your thoughts is also useful bc organisation

i have heard a bullet journal is rlly gr8 for this because like u get to plan ur days but also write random crap that’s not actually random crap but instead very good crap like “how to cheer up when sad” it’s all there in one notebook !!! radical eh

the step where you get back up

set urself up for success by sleeping early and waking up early bc sleep is like soooOo important u have no idea

exercise bc endorphins and all that good stuff and drink water and eat yo vegetables

do the shit that u planned to do in the previous step even if it’s hard i know it’s hard life is hard but u r hardier u r a star

stay on track

k so a lot of ppl r like “discipline > motivation” which i 100% agree but like motivation is also nice

have someone believe in u/someone u can talk to and be ur ray of sunshine like this is rlly helpful

find a purpose for whatever u want to do like what is ur reason for going through the shitty path of life and choosing this hard decision

typical motivational quotes like idk about u but i fall for those every single time

pep talk urself and fake enthusiasm even if u don’t want to like isn’t it radical how the only person holding u back is u

forgive yourself

ur life will go on track and then back off again!!! bc u r a human and humans make mistakes

don’t u get all mopey on urself and be like “i have ruined my life” like stop being so dramatic tough love ik but like U R ALIVE AND THAT MEANS U GTA KEEP KICKIN AT SMTHING

u can mope for a bit and when u do mope mope ur heart out like cry and use tissues and whatever u need but like limit ur moping period bc u need to move on

bad things will happen to u bc life and no matter how much ppl want to help u only u can rlly help urself

ur life ur decisions. forgive urself and start over again (refer to beginning of this post)

fun little reminders

u have the most beautiful smile

my inbox is always open if u need a pep talk and i will always fight ur negativity with my jaw-dropping, amazing, radiant positivity

u! r! a! star!!!!11!11!!1111!!!!!!!!3

cake makes everything better

leonardo dicaprio is still single

i love u unless ur mean don’t be mean plS

#please feel free to reach out if you need help with anything #i might not reply right away but I will #There's are many resources online to help you in stressful situations and really good advices #i really don't like the OH U R PERFECT! THE WORLD NEEDS TO ACCEPT U AS WHO U R MINDSET cuz sometimes we really need to level up and change #our self sabotaging behaviors can be so dangerous for us and the people around us...so whatever it is that u need to work on...please do #SENDING Y'ALL LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES #HAVE A NICE DAY

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thaliasthunder · 2 years ago

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opinions on tsats, not in order

these are some things i liked and disliked about the book, and it has spoilers (naturally?), so beware

not gonna say i absolutely adored the way R&M managed solangelo's relationship but didnt completely despise it either

i wouldnt say Will was out of character bc... he didnt have much of a character to be out from before tsats? i just didnt really love that "i gotta fix nico" thing rick gave to him, but that got settled by the end so i really wont complain much about it

i also wouldnt compare solangelo to percabeth neither to praise or criticize it bc it's not like i think percabeth's dynamic is flawless and perfect either 🤷🏻‍♀️

percy's "oh nico, i'm sorry" PERSEUS SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE 5 YEARS LATE 😭

the "invisible string" and "[worlds/planets] orbiting each other" theme/trope they gave to solangelo made me emotional, and i accept it as canon. *plays invisible string by ts and satellite by hs*

my goodness what a relieve it was to me to finally read nico CRYING. good for him

i expected will's plague power to be more, hum, intense? either way i still think will having plague powers at all is a victory

dont know what i feel w will canonically having trouble w nico being a murderer bc thats actually one of the things i love about him 😭? i feel like if he ever discovers nico killed that bryce dude he'll pass out or something. boy ur bf is a son of hades, his legacy is death, what did u expect from him?

"nico blushed" "nico gave a sly smile" "nico's mischevious smile" wow i need to sit down for a moment and just *weeps*

nico trying to talk his way out of trouble, sneaky lil shit <3

canon silly nico in mid dangerous situations is back !!! <3333

i dont feel completely comfortable w the idea of nico's coming out being that public by making a whole speech to the entire camp but thats probably just me projecting my trauma and anxiety, idk. either way i think a more intimate coming out would've feel more personal, but still i understand that R&M wanted to give him an all-free-off-chains life in camp making it known by everyone in an only kick

"i got the message loud and clear: don't say that. don't feel that. don't even think that" IT BURNED ME INSIDE. i loved it

the ounces of nico still acting like a 10 year old child? like when he called nemesis cool? he warms my heart

i think gorgyra's my favorite character

some of the bitchy comments nico held back were funny. i know they didnt symbolize anything good in their relationship but they were funny. "no. you couldnt", "no one's asking you to"? i officially proclaim myself a bitchy!nico apologist

either way i still can acknowledge nico was a lil bit harsh to will having the literal worst time of his life in the underworld like 😭, bro he's literally a child of the SUN having a trip in HELL, give him a break 😭

the part where nico drop to his knees in front of nyx's home? poetic cinema

the screaming at trees in the woods moment felt really intimate and heartwarming for me. i approve

i did not like their on screen first kiss to be so casual and simple, i was expecting more emotion and angst; and god i definitely disliked that their first real kiss was literally right after nico discovered jason DIED. a person has enough volatile feelings to deal with when a loved one dies for new romantic stuff to happen. nico was in a vulnerable state and deserved time to mourn. instead of that being their first kiss i would've been fine to show will supporting nico in that traumatic event? i would've also deepen their relationship

"'i love you' and the fell" that was poetic and girl? it'll ROCK in fanarts i'll be waiting for them

the whole speech of "it was the son of apollo falling for a son of hades. it was this"? okay wow, beware shakespeare, they went strong in this

nico preparing a picnic for will?? another peek of my boy being a canon ROMANTIC. he makes me physically ill

i liked that they didnt try to write around or romantize the way some male gods actually behaved in the myths? like persephone recognizing hades kidnapped her and letting Will (and the reader) clear that he should never permit anyone forcing him into anything, bc i remember i disliked the way poseidon was painted as the best guy in pjo w medusa's part just for being the protagonist's father (and yeah that was a children's book but well so is tsats and they finally got that right)

since hoo i've got a soft spot for nico finding comfort in the darkness of the underworld, so reading nico seeing his father's realm as his home again gave me a cozy feeling every single time <3

it was nice to see persephone seeing nico in a good light. i always thought the concept of those two getting along well had so much potential and tbh i hope they explore it more in the future

nico having persephone's garden as his favorite place in the underworld??? i crave FANARTS

it kinda infuriated me nico reproaching will for making amphitemis go away bc it was the first baddass moment will got in the entire book in my eyes and nico deciding to go like WhY diD u dO thAt? cOulD'vE hElpEd hIm. baby? shut the fuck up

I WON

"enough of your bisexual chaos" really cant decide if i loved or hated this right now

tbh i hoped amphitemis to have a more important role

i actually like the idea of nico having a bunch of little demons following him around, it's a funny image. but personally i wont see them as "his children" unless its for comedic resources. i see them more as his pets, yep, his demonic pets 👍🏼

they're canonically the most physical affective couple and they make me wanna throw up in my mouth. good for them

WHERE WAS AKHLYSSSS

nico's new villain scar is baddass <3

at the end bob just came out of the picture... that easily? after all the hell they went thru?

do u ever get those maternal/paternal kick ins when u read ur fav character in pain? i dont mean all the time but in like rare occassions. like a sudden need to protect them? well yeah nico saying "you left me alone and defenceless!" and starting crying made it for me. i wanted to run and CRADLE HIM

MALCOLM PACE MY QUEER SON OF ATHENA I LOVE YOU. btw yall were excited about jake mason and i admit i dont remember who that is,,, i feel guilty so please explain

PIPER MY LOVE GIRL HOW I MISSED YOU

to summarize, i dont think the book's perfect, but i did enjoy and liked it

#i will take what i want from this book and ignore the rest thank you very much #btw remember its ok to disagree in this!#feel free to share ur opinions #tsats #tsats spoilers #the sun and the star #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #rick riordan #riordanverse #mark oshiro

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pluto-projectorrr · 2 years ago

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Hi tumblr, let me give this page kind of a little note. Perhaps sometime i'll re-read this note.

2022 such an amazeeeng year, actually. So much lesson i earn that year and yes, it maybe same for next day or maybe i'll modify or have a new pov, so dynamic.

First, every destiny is good, even we need time to realized it. Like i mention before, that year i moved to small city near forest and lake. It takes more than 12 hours to reach provincial capital. Tbh this place good for vacation like 2-7 days, but u'll get boring so i felt it. Until i realize that is not so bad. I feel more alive here, no more overtime and no more impromptu task. I have time for myself, reading, writing, or do sport. I was thinking, it's litterally such on Quran 2:216, maybe u don't like it, but it's good for u, yes, He knows, always.

Second, there is out there we can't control. We have plan, but it doesn't work, we need to accept it, fast or slow, may God help us. Someone left me that year which is good for both of us. At first, so many question in my head, but i choose not to search that answer. For some case, ignorance is bliss. I remember the wise word, from Al Ghazali: what is destined for u, it will be urs even if it is under two mountains, and what it is not urs, u'll not get it even if it is already between ur lips.

Third, for some case, telling ur boundaries and telling ur intentions will save both of u. Several months ago, i know that beautiful lady, look like good girl, with adorable character. We know each other, like yea just know actually, not like "know" each other. How i explain it? So, i try to confess with her, her reaction is good, but yeah nice try, is okay. Couple weeks later, there is someone who i think, likes me (tbh i dont know if she try to reach me or what, but many friends and people around us told me that she is likes me). For beginning, she asked me about work-things, and i don't know, i just respond usually, like other friend ask me. But, maybe she think i interested to her as couple, but no. Sorry if i hurt u. One of my friend said, "way, u r so kind, too friendly, maybe if we have a same age or u r older than me, i'll fall in love with u", oh i got the point. I'll not change my personality, but i'll set boundaries. I feel sorry for the broken lady, but it give me lesson, so thank you.

Fourth, being surrounding positivity is sooooo f powerful. This lesson i take from the lady i adore couple months ago. She is always look happy, even i know she's not. Do u realized, our world full of complaining, in real life our co-worker complain, in social media (especially twitter) full of complain, so much people think this is the bad life but actually there is only bad day. Complaining is natural, is humanist. I did several times, but rarely right now (haha). If some sh*t happen to me, i'll try to see from other side or being positive thinking like 'it must be good for me, maybe later i realize it'. Afterthat, i feel more relieved. So i just live it. Remembering Kartini's word: it is better to seek the light than to curse the darkness.

Fifth, myself is more more more important. I really love myself right now, i love my life, and everything on me. Alhamdulilaaah, God give me perfect body-part, have a healthy brain, beautiful eyes, and everything. Mazkun was right: yang sebaiknya kau jaga, adalah dirimu sendiri (the things that u better take care of, is urself).

Yes, it is. Maybe i'll adding some note later, but yeah, let face 2023 with brightly smile, optismistic, and more "Alhamdulillaah". 2022 was a tough year, but alhamdulillaah i'm safe and sound.

Ps: video is my very very 1st time try airport train🚄

#kontemplasi #reminder

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joonberriess · 2 years ago

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s h i n u n o g a e - w a

p a i r i n g : yoongi x reader

g e n r e : husband au.

t a g s : soft smut, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex, creampies, fiancé to husband!yoongi, this is really fucking soft, domesticity, slight dirty talk, he wakes you up by giving you head, he just rlly loves you

w o r d c o u n t : 1.9 k

s u m m a r y : four times you said I love you, + the one time yoongi says it first. alternatively: five special moments with your beloved husband.

"No need to ask cause it's my darling,"

Soft giggles fill the room, sun light pours in through the large glass windows that take up the walls. There's one window opened off to the side, the sound of birds chirping fill the entire living room up. You stand swaying in Yoongi's arms, right in the center of the room that's filled with all the flowers you have ever loved.

He looks good wearing white, his hair falls over his eyes occasionally but he simply blows it out of his face. You can feel the tight grip he has on you, every time he dips you low he presses a gentle smooch to your soft lips. The "I love you's" are left unsaid, you can see it in his eyes just how much he loves you.

You stare into his eyes with a bright smile, "Is this like a dance practice or something? Trying to make sure you won't drop me the day of our wedding?"

Yoongi snorts quietly and nuzzles into your shoulder, breathing in your soft scent, "You know I'll never drop you love," he turns to lay soft kisses up your neck and then the side of your face.

A soft noise bubbles out of your throat as you turn to capture his lips and bring him closer to you. Yoongi deepens the kiss with a quiet groan and his arms tighten around your waist. "Fuck," he mutters out against your lips, "you drive me absolutely insane."

You smiled softly, eyes fluttering open as you stare back at him, "You always say that." You eye his lips and then look back at him, "I love you."

"I love you too," he presses his forehead against yours and smiles.

"Oh don't you ever say bye-bye,"

Yoongi's eyes were stuck in place, time ceased to exist and the world stopped spinning. It was only you and him in this moment, he didn't even pay attention to the piano and violin playing in the background. Nor did he give any mind to his older brother, his groomsmen, when he congratulated him. It was all about you right now, nothing else mattered in his moment.

You shot him a soft bashful smile, timidly looking into his eyes as your father walked you down the aisle towards him. You looked so beautiful in all white, the veil did nothing to obscure your beauty, you looked like a goddess. He could see the heart locket necklace he first gifted you when you were six months into dating, it's been ages since he last saw that locket (you kept it stored away in perfect condition).

You reached the altar and Yoongi immediately stepped down to gently take your hand and help you up the steps after he promised your father to take care of you. "You look handsome," you cheekily whispered to him.

"And you look like a princess." He chuckled, "Very beautiful indeed."

The ceremony began, the entire time Yoongi had his hand lain over yours as the two of you waited for the moment you'd exchange the vows and rings. You were anxious, heart rapidly beating in your chest. Yoongi sensed your nervousness and he gently ran his thumb over your knuckles to soothe you.

"I promise," Yoongi softly began when he started his vows, "to love and cherish you for the rest of my life like I promised those years back when you first accepted to be my girlfriend. I loved you then and I love you way much more now. I knew from the beginning I wanted you in my life forever and now I get to call you my wife, mine forever." He presses his forehead to yours, smiling when he sees your teary eyes and wobbly smile as he slides the ring on to your finger.

"You may now kiss the bride," and with that he captures your lips in a gentle and passionate kiss.

The crowd of guests erupt in loud cheers and whistles. You laugh happily against his lips and look up at him lovingly. "I love you so much.."

"I love you too.."

"I want you to be my last,"

Your eyes fluttered open when you felt a pair of hands gently stroking your hips and then reaching up to cup your tits. You moaned in surprise when Yoongi gently suckled on your throbbing bud, you weren't aware that your husband had his face between your soft thighs and your legs tossed over his shoulders.

"You awake baby?" Yoongi softly whispers when he pulls back.

You reach down to pull the sheets off of the two of you, "Yeah," you softly say, reaching down to gently stroke his fluffy long hair, "how long have you been awake?" You chuckle when he tilts his head to the side and smushes his cheek against your thigh as he stares up at you with lovestruck eyes.

"Not that long either love," he hums, "you were looking so pretty and I couldn't help myself." He presses a chaste kiss on your thigh and then got back to work.

His eyes fluttered closed as he circled your clit when his tongue, lapping at it slowly and pressing down to apply the slightest of pressure. Yoongi slid his hands back down to gently rub your thighs and then slip them under your soft ass cheeks to grip them. Your lips part in a silent moan as your hands come down stroke his hair and push it out of his face.

"Fuck Yoongi," you whisper out as your eyes slip shut and you relax, "like that."

Yoongi's fingers gently prod you open as he slips the long digits inside of you. They fill you so nicely and send tingles down your spine. You push your hips upwards and rock against his fingers, your pussy begins to slick up and make lewd squelching noises. "Yoongi," you whimper and arch your back, gently twisting the sheets and gripping it tightly.

He works his tongue around your clit even faster, flicking it back and forth as his fingers curl upwards and stroke over your walls. Yoongi groans against your soaked cunt, pulling back as he soft panted and watched as his fingers disappeared inside of your cunt. "You gonna cum for me baby?" He lazily smirks, licking his slick covered lips.

"Y-Yeah," you softly breathe out, chest rising and falling as your cunt tightens around his fingers, you're teetering on your orgasm by now, "so close," you bite your lip.

Yoongi moves his fingers faster and faster, watching you closely and right when you're about to cum he stops and slips his fingers out. You whimper in confusion and open your eyes with a confused pout, "W-Why? I was so close," you whined out.

"Want you to come on my cock baby," Yoongi crawls up and gently pins you down, "feels like my cock is about to fall off with how hard it is." He groans rutting against your thighs, cock slapping against your skin occasionally. "Need your pussy so badly." He whispers and leans down to kiss you.

A soft little moan leaves you, your arms come up to gently wrap around his neck and tug him closer. He lays his body flat against yours, hand coming down to grip his cock as he strokes it slowly and lazily slaps it against your pussy. You spread your legs widely for him as he makes himself at home and slides his cock inside.

"Shit." Yoongi sighs out in utter bliss as he pushes all the way inside.

You stare up at him with a teary gaze, "Fuck me Yoongi, please," you whimper, "feels so good baby." You roll your hips against him, trying to get his cock deeper inside of you.

Yoongi started up at a normal pace, pushing in deeply and pressing against you. His cock filled you just perfectly, pressing against each of your sweet spots. Your moans were breathier and shallow, thighs shaking just a little because your pussy was throbbing from the denied orgasm moments prior.

"Coming already baby?" He breathes out, "Can feel your little pussy tightening around me baby. You gonna make a mess on me?" He pants out, hips moving faster and faster.

He speeds up drastically and causes the mattress to shift and squeak. His hips slap against yours, balls pressing against your ass with each thrust. Your moans grow in volume, you scramble to grip his forearms, "Yoongi...!" You cry out.

He growls lowly and leans down to suck dark marks on to the side of your neck. "Go on baby, make a mess all over my cock." He lifts one of your thighs up and tosses it over his shoulder as he grinds into your pussy repeatedly. His cock drives deep into your g-spot, heightening your pleasure.

You cry out in shock and toss your head back, "Yoongi! Oh fuck baby..!" You tremble as your toes curl in pleasure.

You cum with a loud moan, head thrown back and nails digging into his forearms. Yoongi hisses, "That's it baby, cum for me, like that," he whispers in pleasure and slams into you repeatedly. His thrusts jostle you on the bed, you bounce in place and struggle to get a grip on him.

His mouth parts, eyes squeezing shut as he shoves his cock deep inside of you. He shudders in pleasure and slows down to a grind as his cock throbs weakly inside of you. His cum spills into you, filling your pussy to the brim. He pants harshly and leans down to kiss over your neck and lips.

"I love you baby..." He sleepily mumbles.

"Love you too."

"If I had to keep being separated from you like this, I'd rather die,"

You sat next Yoongi enjoying the music blaring out in the arena as the basketball players all got ready for the upcoming game. Yoongi had his hand in yours, thumb gently rubbing over your knuckles for comfort. You pursed your lips and looked around, "Are we heading straight back home after this?" You lean over to murmur in his ear.

"Do you want to go back?" Yoongi says back with a serious look, "We can head home after this unless you wanna stay for a couple more days here in Japan."

You nod with a smile and peck his lips, "Yeah that sounds good love I don't mind." You sit back in your seat and nod your head a little to the beat of the music playing in the background.

Yoongi admires your side profile for a moment before he turns back to what he was doing before you spoke with him. Someone on the mic suddenly calls out to your husband, referring to him as their special guest. "We have the Mrs here too," they say, panning the camera to you and Yoongi as people in the seats above all cheer and clap for you two.

You shyly lean into Yoongi's side and smile for the camera that is aimed at you and your husband. Yoongi sees that your faces are still on the big screen so he leans over to smooch you gently in front of everyone. The cheers get louder and you find yourself laughing awkardly.

"Yoongi are you doing that on purpose?" You say in amusement as you stare into his eyes.

Yoongi smiles at you, shrugging as he chooses not answer. You roll your eyes fondly and lay your head on his shoulder. "I love you Yoongi." You gently hold his hand.

He squeezes your hand gently in return, "I love you too y/n." He murmurs in return.

Forever.

#bts #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic

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thisdreamplace · 3 years ago

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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leejeongz · 4 years ago

Text

nsfw a-z CHOI HYUNSUK (treasure)

🔅highly requested so i hope that you’re all happy with this and it’s what you wanted 🥺 these are so fun to write🤗🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the nicest boy on the planet. he’ll get you water and will clean you up. he becomes your little puppy and would do ANYTHING for you. he asks you if you’re okay a LOT and is super soft and giggly with you. also tonnes of compliments 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his mouth and what it can do to you. using it on any part of your body has you moaning… even just gentle kisses. he likes that he has that influence on you and uses it to his advantage.

on you his fav is… he doesn’t have one? he can’t find anything he likes more than the rest, everything about you is perfect to him and he tells you that regularly. but he is a big fan of your legs and how sexy they look 👀

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on your face, in your mouth or on your chest. not really a fan of finishing inside because 1. he prefers safe sex 2. HE DOESN'T WANT A CHILD YET and so doesn't wanna cum in the condom either lol just in case. likes to cum on ur tits because it looks nice and it makes him cum thinking about it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes sending and receiving voice notes. it’s easier to get off to when you guys aren’t together and faster than texting. enjoys phone calls too but doesn’t have time to think before he speaks on the phone so that’s why voice notes >>. plus they last forever, he can return to them at any time.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

keeps it on the low because he doesn’t wanna make you think you have to “live up to previous partners” or “he’s just using me as a statistic” but he’s had a lot of sexual partners. most were romantic partners (as romantic as 3 month relationships can be) but he’s probably had to relieve stress with other people on occasion. he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t wanna compare you to other partners so he keep all of his experiences separate from whatever you’re doing together if that makes sense.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes hitting it from the back, doggy all the way. his hands rest on your ass and spread your cheeks occasionally. also gives him the best angle to spit on his dick before pushing it in (doesn't just rely on spit alone as lube tho, he learnt that the hard way).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t call him goofy in the moment, but he’s not serious either. he’s just having a good time and so are you. he still remains the same person you see everyday, fun loving and sweet.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the first few times he knew you were gonna do stuff, he shaved or at least trimmed. but the care slowly started fading out and he stopped doing anything down there. if you don't like it, that’s your problem, not his, it’s a lot of effort to go to for someone who clearly doesn’t accept him for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

everything you do, it’s full of love, and it shows. he treats you like his queen and nothing less.

sometimes he can be distant tho, especially during quickies, he has one goal and that is to cum, you’re simply there to assist at that time. but after he’ll show you all the love in the world, he’ll even thank you hehe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he does it in the shower most of the time. it’s private and also reminds him of times he’d had sex in there so it’s a winner.

the idea of having sex or looking back at sex is mainly what he gets off to, but he uses porn ocassionally when he’s jacking off in bed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE (giving)- likes to tell you when you’re doing something well and likes to let you know that you look good throughout. it’s his favourite thing to do because he means it. he tells you that you look good on your knees because you do, he tells you that he loves the way you moan because he does. he recognises that this makes him vulnerable but it builds trust.

daddy- only if you’re okay with it bc some people don’t really enjoy it for obvious reasons, but he likes you calling him daddy. he likes your voice anyway, but dropping “daddy” innocently into sentences not only turns him on but also makes him eager to please. you’re his baby girl so it’s only natural that he’s your daddy. he has to treat you right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for it anywhere when he’s in the mood. he loves shower sex. although a little impractical and kinda annoying at times, he loves being able to make out with you in a hot and steamy room and fuck you agasint the shower glass.

he’s also a fan of just basic on the bed, on top of the sheets. it’s convenient and hard to mess up.

both places mentioned he considers quite romantic too, which is why he likes them.

very very very turned on by the idea of fucking you in a bathroom or dressing room backstage but he isn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not, definitely something you’d have to initiate but he’s love it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your voice and your moans - you turned on = him turned on. hearing you moan or talk in the way you know he likes… HARD ON STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

running your hand through his hair - it sends him crazy. his eyes roll to the back of his head and he has no control over himself when you do that.

wearing his clothes - especially if you wear nothing underneath. he’d encourage that shit too, constantly giving you hoodies and t-shirt’s to wear when you’re at his place.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that puts your safety at risk. you are his happiness and seeing you suffer, even if it something you enjoy, he hates it. he also isn’t one for receiving pain himself. i think he’d not only be hurt physically but also emotionally… like why would you do that to him?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes to keep it equal, always repays the favour. actually enjoys eating you out tho and it’s his ✨forte✨. let’s just say he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. he likes to hold your hand when he eats you out, like in a romantic, intimate way.

when you suck his dick, he’s the type to have his hands laced in your hair. he wouldn’t be too forceful and would let you go at your own pace. he never expects you to suck his dick, he’s not one to request a blowjob all too often, but he would never refuse one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he would start of steady, letting you adjust and what not, before making you set the pace. you can back into him as slow or as fast as you want but after a few seconds he’ll be there to steady it out again. he’d be quite rough even though he’s attempting to be romantic, but it’s just to add a little spice.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh he LOVES quickies. they turn him on, even just thinking about them turns him on (and usually leads to one when possible). sex is sex and he’s game for any at anytime. most of the time these happen when people are in earshot. he tells you to be quiet but neither of you want to be. the idea of getting caught fucking you in his dressing room turns him on.

he’d actually prefer quickies to dragged out sex. fast fucking to get the job done is more appealing to him than dragging it out sometimes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to stick to what he knows. he’d rather know that what he’s doing is good and is actually making you feel good rather than experimenting with something that could go wrong.

he does take risks in the sense that he’s gonna fuck you where you guys could possibly get caught but not as far as to inflict pain or injury.

saying that, he isn’t opposed to trying something that you want to try, or something that you’ve brought from previous experiences.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he drags out the whole thing if you have the time to, spends a lot of time on foreplay. although this doesn’t happen very often, this type of sex is once in a blue moon.

as mentioned above, he loves quickies, they’re his most favourite type of sex since they happen when either of you need it, not when it’s been built up for god knows how long because he’s too busy for that.

he usually can go for two+ rounds but chooses not to. once he’s started on his aftercare, there isn’t a chance you’re getting more dick after that, you’re gonna have to wait (unless you tease him ofc 11/10 would recommend).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s in two minds about them. if you already own them, he wants to see you use them and might use them on you too. if you don’t have any but you want to incorporate them, he’s not opposed to it but he’d rather you found out what you liked in relation to toys first. if you didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t even bring it up.

if you wanted to use some on him, he would let you try it out, but he wouldn’t force himself to enjoy it. if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not letting you use it again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a tease outside of the bedroom but during sex, everything is as you see it. he doesn’t want to waste time teasing you, especially if you don’t have the time.

he likes teasing you when people are around. seeing you getting all clammy in front of your friends or his friends to assert his power over you. his favourite thing you do is wink at you and smile. so innocent yet it means so much more to you than it would to someone else when he does it.

sometimes teases you unintentionally. he puts his hand a little too far up on your thigh and before you know it you’re wet and he’s just having a laugh with his friends, not even noticing what he’s done to you. time to take him to the bathroom and show him i think ;).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud! groans and moans a lot, he’s not afraid to do it either, he doesn’t hold back. he knows you get turned on by his groaning just the same as he gets turned on by your moans and so he takes great pride in not being shy to make some noise.

dirty talk is a must among you pair once the initial shyness has gone. you could get off to each other’s voices alone. add that to some amazing sex and you’re all set for orgasm after orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

(i have a strange feeling that someone has written something like this before about hyunsuk (but better obvs and in more detail) but i can’t remember who… if that’s the case i promise this isn’t me stealing their idea or anything malicious).

“i’ve never done this before” you confessed, opening up your laptop to the screen he’d caught you on. you were really embarrassed that he’d caught you watching porn, but he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, in fact, it really turned him on. that’s why he suggested you watch it together.

“we can try it together” he encouraged, pressing the spacebar to continue the video. you turned up the volume a little, making sure you could both hear.

it took you both a few minutes to really become comfortable with the situation. you’d gotten back to imagining yourself and hyunsuk in that situation, while he studied it to pick up on anything that you might be into.

“oh” he looked over at you who was clearly deep in thought “you like blindfolds too?” he asks.

“yeah, it’s hot” you reply, not once taking your eyes off the screen.

hyunsuk looks around your room when his eyes land on your sleeping mask. he hesitates for a second, thinking he might ruin the atmosphere if he springs in on you straight away. he decides to not ask you just yet, he’s a little too tired to have sex right now, but remembers it for the next session.

you glance over towards him, his trousers and hands catching your eye before noticing that he wasn’t even watching.

“are you embarrassed? i can turn it off if you want” you question. he slowly removes his hands from over his pants and instead replaces it with yours. you begin to palm him while steadying the laptop with your other hand. the laptop was soon moved to the end of the bed. your hand was now in your underwear and his was in his boxers. the experience was surreal, it was a lot of firsts for you, you’d never even thought about rubbing one out while your boyfriend did the same next to you, but you were definitely enjoying it.

“don’t cum until i do,” hyunsuk ordered. easier said than done. “i wanna cum listening to your moans, baby”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's smaller than average…4-5” with average thickness but he gets the job done and it doesn’t affect the pleasure he can give to you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

proper sex, 1-2 times a week. he can be horny whenever you want him to be and you both know that, but he doesn’t always wanna have sex. sometimes he’s just happy with getting you off, especially if he’s tired.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets a little hyper after sex and wants to stay awake just to be around you and show you how much you mean to him. falling asleep is the last thing he wants to do. if you haven’t actually had sex, just a little fondling and playing, he’d fall asleep pretty much straight away afterwards. the whole reason you pair didn’t go all the way at the time was because he was tired so…

#treasure #treasure smut #hyunsuk #hyunsuk smut #choi hyunsuk #choi hyunsuk smut #smut

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witchysleepingbeauty · 3 years ago

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Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is

When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅

when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!

this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(

By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway

the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!

Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world

My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit

so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?

I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying

🫀anon

Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.

Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.

You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.

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