#i really didn't mean it that way
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skyberia · 5 months ago
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missing pieces
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captainjonnitkessler · 2 years ago
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
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riddlerosehearts · 4 months ago
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and the universe said, i love you because you are love
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mourn-and-watch · 2 months ago
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you know what. i actually love that trying to talk to solas was the last thing varric did and it ended in complete failure. especially if you put it in the context of his feelings about anders. varric was so bitter every time he mentioned him because he could not stop him. he didn't even realize that anders was up to something and when it was too late he started to think of him as of someone who destroyed that fragile peace in kirkwall that actually never existed.
it adds layers to the way he felt about solas. he believed that time he could stop a friend who simply lost his way. because varric tethras can talk anyone out of anything, can't he? anders was just too dodgy and self-centred and cut everyone off just like solas did but this time varric is completely prepared. surely. absolutely.
he could have never talked anders out of it even if he had known what was coming. he could have never talked solas out of it either. anders was a desperate person standing against (as varric himself put it) forces he couldn't possibly defeat. solas was a god standing against a couple of mortals and his own conscience buried under his guilt and regrets. being a good friend would not stop meredith's oppression. being a good friend would not stop someone who fears so much that all of the atrocities he committed were for nothing and would mean nothing at the end. varric died because he didn't realize it. he died and left his second in command with an immense guilt because they believed he knew solas enough to pull that off and there's something tragic about it
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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✦ 2023 summary of art ✦
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egophiliac · 6 months ago
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
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obsidianbit · 1 year ago
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I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans
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unpersoniverse · 3 months ago
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch 💀#my art
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tackykachowch · 22 days ago
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How it feels to not like timebomb after s2
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#I'M NOT A HATER I SWEAR I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE IT ON PAPER#i do however think that it came literally out of nowhere and was hella rushed and kinda ridiculous#like. if the argument is that original ekko fell in love with jinx it doesn't make sense because they were enemies for most of their lives#if the argument is that current ekko fell in love with au powder and now projects these feelings on jinx it's kinda uh. messed up#because she's a whole different person. entirely. it doesn't matter if both these version started out as a 9-year old powder. they had#extremely different lives and experiences and thinking that “there's still this kind of powder in jinx deep down” is straight-up awful#OR even if he didn't project his feelings for powder on jinx why would he love her in the current universe? last time they met she blew them#up and now she wants to commit suicide. there's literally no reason for him to have any kind of feelings except the slight friendly#affection that's left from all those years ago. and yet the show and most importantly the fandom treats them like a couple??? i don't get it#also it's kinda insane that s2 turned jinx and ekko into flat shipping material#again. obviously i have nothing against the shippers and do not condemn it in any way. i'm just expressing my thoughts on the matter#also what pisses me off the most. is how in ep9 jinx in fully painted with ekko's symbols here and there. has the bandage (?) on her chest#like vi. has a hood that looks like a drawing that isha made. and yet there's no fishbones or any reference to silco at all#i mean. i get it s2 hates him but i can't help it#they gave her all these relationships and pretended that they're significant to her and yet they didn't have any proper development#to really earn it#arcane critical#arcane season 2#anti timebomb#jinx arcane#ekko arcane
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thelaurenshippen · 8 months ago
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911 really is such a good reminder of the particularly kind of joy that is weekly, seasons-long shows with many episodes per season. every character gets a moment to shine even in a truncated season. the satisfaction of seeing characters grapple with stuff that happened YEARS ago. having multi-episode arcs and one-off arcs that are equally enjoyable. beach episodes (metaphorical). I know we're all saying this all the time but why can't more tv be like this
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flwrkid14 · 30 days ago
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A Love That Hurts: Tim and Danny’s Toxic Tango
It didn’t start like this.
In the beginning, their love had been easy. They found comfort in each other—a soft place to land when the rest of the world felt too sharp. Tim loved Danny’s laugh, the way it lit up a room even when everything else felt dark. Danny adored Tim’s quiet strength, the way he always seemed to know how to pick up the pieces.
For a while, they were each other’s saving grace. Tim helped Danny feel grounded, giving him the stability he hadn’t known since Amity Park became more battlefield than home. Danny made Tim feel alive, like he wasn’t just another cog in the Bat-machine—like he was someone worth loving.
But that kind of love is hard to hold onto when you don’t know how to nurture it.
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The cracks started small: an offhand comment here, a tense silence there. They chalked it up to stress, but the arguments began to escalate, unraveling the love they’d built. Neither of them knew how to fix it, so they didn’t try.
One fight bled into another. Danny’s voice was sharp. “They’re my friends, Tim. Something you’d know about if you still talked to yours. When was the last time you even answered Cassie or Steph? You’re too busy trying to fix things that don’t need fixing.”
Tim didn’t hesitate. “And when was the last time Val actually came through for you? She’s got her own problems—why does she need to patrol with you? Are you just keeping her around for the nostalgia? Or are you afraid of letting her go?”
Danny’s lips curled into a bitter smile. “Right, because you’re the expert on letting go. How many of Kon’s clones are you going to try to ‘save’ before you realize it’s never going to bring him back?”
Tim flinched, his voice low and venomous. “At least I don’t run back to my exes when I feel like I’m losing control. What’s next, Danny? You calling Sam and Tucker to bail you out?”
Danny laughed, hollow and sharp. “You really think I need them? I’m here, Tim. With you. Maybe if you spent less time in your spreadsheets, you’d see that.”
The fights always ended the same: one of them storming off, slamming doors, followed by hours of silence. When they apologized, it wasn’t about fixing anything—just avoiding another explosion.
Neither could admit the truth: they weren’t protecting each other—they were just too afraid to let go
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Danny didn’t just distance Tim from his friends; he actively cut them out. He deleted Cassie’s texts before Tim could see them, until eventually, she stopped trying. When Tim noticed, Danny shrugged. “She’s probably busy,” he said casually, though his tone left no room for argument.
Tim didn’t push. After all, he wasn’t innocent. When Val invited Danny to patrol with her, Tim was quick to sow doubt. “You really think Amity Park can’t survive one night without you? Or is it just about her? Seems like you don’t trust me to be enough.”
Danny hesitated, his frustration visible, but he stayed. Over time, Val’s invitations stopped, and Danny didn’t ask why.
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Sam and Tucker’s visit to Gotham was no different. Danny had been excited to see them, but when the weekend came, Tim hit a low point.
“Do you really need to see them right now?” Tim asked, his voice soft but pointed. “It’s been rough lately. I thought you’d want to focus on us.”
Danny faltered, guilt creeping in. “They already planned the trip…”
“And what about me?” Tim pressed, his voice taking on an edge. “Am I supposed to just sit here and wait while you run back to them? Is that what this is?”
Danny canceled the plans. He didn’t explain, just sent Sam a curt text: Can’t make it. Something came up. He ignored the flood of concerned messages that followed, shoving his phone into a drawer.
When Tim noticed the tension, he didn’t comment. Instead, he doubled down. “You’re better off without them. They don’t understand this life. Not like I do.”
Danny nodded, even as the distance from Sam and Tucker grew into something he didn't know how to bridge.
Tim wasn’t immune to Danny’s tactics either. Bruce invited Tim to family dinner, but Danny’s reaction was immediate. “You’re seriously going to leave me here? After everything?” he asked, his tone more accusation than question.
“It’s just dinner,” Tim said weakly, but Danny’s narrowed eyes stopped him.
“Right. And how long before you’re ‘just’ staying overnight at the Manor? Before Bruce drags you back into his plans? You think they care about you? They care about what you can do for them.”
Tim stayed, sending Bruce a quick excuse. When Dick called the next day, Tim brushed him off with a clipped, “Busy.” Danny noticed the tension but said nothing, a smug satisfaction flickering in his eyes when Tim didn’t bring up the family again.
When Damian later referred to Tim as “too busy playing house,” Danny felt a pang of guilt that he quickly buried under pride. At least Tim was his, now.
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They were each other’s shields against the world, but it came at a cost.
Danny missed Sam and Tucker fiercely but couldn’t bring himself to reach out, not when Tim would undoubtedly notice. Tim felt the growing distance from the Bats like a weight he couldn’t shake, but he didn’t try to repair it—not when Danny so clearly needed him more.
The truth was simple and ugly: they weren’t protecting each other. They were controlling each other.
Danny missed the Tim who made him feel safe. Tim missed the Danny who didn’t flinch at “I love you.” But neither of them could stop. Because if Sam and Tucker weren’t there for Danny, and the Bats weren’t there for Tim, they only had each other.
And maybe that was the point.
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dapper-lil-arts · 10 months ago
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Darlings. is it gay when the phantom you created as a manifestation of your dreadfull loneliness takes the form of one of your closest friends.
Fanart of this pretty good horror rarijack fanfic, "The haunting of carroussel boutique" personaly i am surprised the writer didnt take the chance to point out how fucking funny this is. Me n kim started laughing about it during stream and i just had to draw this
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uncanny-tranny · 2 months ago
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To my fellow US Americans: If you are planning on arming yourselves because of the election results and what might be on the horizons, I urge you to be a responsible gun owner.
Take as many classes as you can. Get certified in gun safety, even if it's not required to own a gun in your state. Get a gun safe. A good gun safe. Lock your gun up. Don't leave it armed. Don't wave your guns or gun-owning status around and don't pose with guns like they're toys. I'd say not to make gun buying an impulse purchase, either. You are investing in something that holds great potential risk to yourself and others - treat it like a responsibility.
I'm not here to argue about if Americans ought to exercise the second amendment in the way it currently exists. That's not the point - we have always had the second amendment, and I doubt it's going anywhere. I am more interested in making sure we don't see a surge in accidental, negligent gun ownership.
As a queer person in the US, I can understand the mindset behind people's spiked interest in arming themselves. I'm not arguing against that. As a child of gun owners, I know just how huge a responsibility it is to own a gun, and I hate the general attitude we Americans have about guns. Please don't contribute to that. If you own a gun, it is you inherent responsibility to take care of that gun (which is why I can't own a gun yet - I don't have the resources to pour into proper ownership).
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thepringlesofblood · 3 months ago
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starryjkoo · 20 days ago
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Please only Jungkook and Jungkook himself is to blame for people (a.k.a his own fans) always twisting his words and actions. Y'all have never bothered to ask yourselves why it's always JK who has to go through this and not the other members, especially the other two maknae line members, since people are just as obsessed with them too?
It's because for years JK has constantly contradicted himself in his words and actions, especially when it comes to Jimin. One minute he's hot, the next he's cold. One minute he says something nice about Jimin and then the next he's back to being an insensitive prick. One minute he's initiating touch with Jimin, the next he looks like he's close to physically throwing up when Jimin does the same to him😅. One moment he does something for Jimin that'll convince you that he truly loves him just a bit more than the others, the next he goes above and beyond for EVERYONE else while making it seem like it's impossible for him to even do the bare minimum for JM (his trip to Hawaii for Tae vs him saying "nah" when Jimin asked him to come watch him practice the next time ???)
No one but JK is responsible for the way his fandom is right now and for how they are treating Jimin. Things like these don't just stem from nowhere. These are his FANS projecting this "he's uncomfortable with Jimin/he hates Jimin/them" narrative onto him and his actions keep the narrative alive and consistent, while naturally the ones who care about Jimin/his relationship with Jimin will be sensitive to how he acts and expect him to be better.
Of course it's obvious that JK loves Jimin a lot and the "uncomfortable" Jikook moments have never bothered me personally because I've always had a reason about why they exist/why JK is like that with Jimin and it's a positive reason. But we can't deny the existence of certain things and why those things exist in the first place.
From an objective standpoint, it makes sense why there are people who believe he doesn't like Jimin and why every time he shows that he does in fact like Jimin or even more-than-just "like" Jimin, they resort to saying he's pretending or that he's being "forced". It also makes sense why there are those who have "high/unrealistic" expectations for him.
And BOTH those sides make up his own fandom, unlike others like Jimin whose antis are the one projecting the "he's fake/pretentious, doesn't really love JK or anybody" personality onto him. It's all from and because of JK.
Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore.
The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"
I’m procrastinating and avoiding doing something rn so I’ll go ahead and give this a long and serious answer even though I’m not super keen on asks like this. I think other people have probably already addressed this topic a lot better than me, but I’d like to spend a minute defending JK since I’ve already addressed the way fandom treats JM a few times on here.
First of all, it’s always JK having to go through this because JK sits at the center of the two most popular ships in an extremely toxic shipping culture where they are constantly fighting over his validation. That’s why his words and actions face the most amount of scrutiny and why they’re weaponized more often than any of the other members (even though it still does happen with other members). I think it’s really as simple as that. tkkrs especially are constantly twisting his words and actions painting him as a villain because Jikook makes them insecure, which is the same reason why they think JM is evil incarnate.
JJKs are half tkkrs, half Y/N’s (or kpop stans who hate and have always hated BTS) and they hate JM more than anything because on top of shipping, he’s also JK’s “main competition”. Of course they want to think that JK hates JM as much as they do when most of them are constantly projecting onto him. I’ll also add that there are a lot of JM/TH overly biased shippers who take everything JK says and does extremely personally too, and then they get their feelings irrationally hurt and take it out on Jungkook. A lot of ex-jkkr PJMs are extra vicious to him because of stuff like this too.
I’m not sure why you think these people are making rational objective observations that have any validity just because they consider themselves his “fans” when most of them are extremely biased and often have some sort of agenda when claiming that he doesn’t like Jimin.
The vast majority of examples of JK being “rude” are just projection and people taking everything he does in bad faith too. I don’t know what examples you mean where JK was allegedly so “insensitive” towards Jimin tbh, because I just constantly see people exaggerating normal teasing and playing to seem like some massive evil thing. And if you’re talking about clips from 200 BCE when he was literally barely a teenager and they were all like that - I don’t think that’s fair to hold against him either.
But let’s say that JK had a moment where he was insensitive - so why isn’t he allowed to be human? Have you never had days where you’re tired, or grumpy, or don’t want to be touched, ever had a moment where you were unintentionally a bit insensitive, a joke that fell flat or came out meaner than intended? Never gotten shy, self-conscious or distracted? Ever had a disagreement with friends? Gotten a little too competitive?
And it’s not just JK who has had these moments btw, it’s all the members because they’re human and none of them are perfect, they’re allowed to experience occasional negative emotions, allowed to have bad days, or quiet days, or days they don’t want to be touched, or are a little snippy with each other. I can't even begin to imagine having to navigate that kind of environment while dealing with my own negative emotions and having everything recorded, picked apart, and weaponized like that.
I feel like you’re basically saying that JK is never allowed to have an off day, and he’s never allowed to be in a bad mood, or say no to something he doesn’t feel like doing? He also can’t tease vmin or be sassy with them the way they are with each other, or the way most of us are with our own friends & family? He can’t get a little shy with JM either? He can only be happy and positive 100% of the time or risk validating psychos who want to claim he hates his bandmates? How is it his fault that people interpret everything he says and does with the most bad faith takes imaginable because of ship and stan wars?
Also I’m going to need a better example of JK not being willing to do something for Jimin because agreeing to go to Hawaii for a fun trip and sky-diving vs not wanting to go to the HYBE building (his workplace that he was mostly avoiding at the time) to sit on the floor and watch JM practice for hours is not really comparable. I don’t even think Jimin cared nearly as much as some people act, he was teasing JK and encouraging him to get out more and smiling throughout that entire exchange, it was never that serious tbh.
What gets me about that whole situation too is that JK was more outwardly supportive of JM during FACE era than he was for any other member, but it’s still not good enough for some people for some reason. And you’re talking about JK being willing to go to Hawaii, but didn’t he travel two more times with JM after JM came to him in NY? Didn’t he agree to JM’s show idea, all this on top of having an insane schedule? Not to mention the night before Jeju, did he not cook Jimin four servings of whatever food after a long plane ride simply because JM asked him to?
There are so many examples of antis taking JM’s obvious playful behavior and twisting it to paint him as a villain, so isn’t it vastly unfair to then turn around and do the same thing to JK? If we can recognize the absurdity in painting JM as an abuser because he reacted to JK’s scuzzi teasing by cursing and gentle roughhousing, shouldn’t we be able to apply the same kind of logic to the people trying to make JK seem like a bully over his reaction to JM purposefully riling him up over ham? Were the “insensitive” remarks you’re referring to ever that serious, or was it normal teasing, friendly jabs, and playful roughhousing? Why is it okay for you to interpret all JK moments in bad faith, blame him for it, and hold it against him forever, while not holding others to the same standards? Shouldn’t we be able to recognize the absurdity in interpreting either of their actions in such obvious bad faith?
I’m just going to have to heavily disagree that there’s ever been a logical objective basis in thinking that JK dislikes Jimin, or that he’s uncomfortable with him. I’m not talking about shipping, I mean the people who think that they’re not even friends, because that’s actually an insane thing to think, and no normal fan is going to look at JKs behavior, where he has had countless examples of encouraging, complimenting, having fun with, and supporting Jimin - who he literally enlisted together with - and then think that they don’t like each other, or that they have a bad relationship, or that JK is annoyed with or dislikes JM. What normal, rational person would actually think that JK would enlist with someone who made him uncomfortable? 99% of the things people use against JK are just normal friendly teasing, and I don’t think he should be expected to act like a friendless robot in fear of a handful of weirdos twisting his words so they can be shady and nasty towards Jimin on social media.
And honestly if people don't like JK's personality or how he comes off that's their right but it's also just their personal opinion, they shouldn't project that on JM who clearly doesn't mind and seems to really enjoy their dynamic a lot. If he didn't like it, he would call it out. Instead he has zero worries about fighting with JK in the military despite Jin's cautioning that even friends of ten years end up fighting. I've seen the hot and cold thing before, and maybe I'm just mostly coming up blank because I'm not one of those jkkrs with encyclopedic knowledge, but I think any moments like that were really not so serious to hold such a grudge over, or to be interpreted so extremely and then used to justify such illogical takes.
Also you’re saying that JJKs interpreting JKs words and actions shadily means something, but you know that PJMs have done the same thing with Jimin right? Like it was PJMs who started that whole thing during Yoongi’s concert trying to imply that JM shaded JK when he said ARMYs were having more fun that night. Also I’ve seen PJMs posting that quote where JM said he was being careful about what he posts online while in the military to shade other members (and then they got mad when iirc KTHs took it personally lol). I also remember PJMs hyping up the fact that Jimin didn’t post for Seven (until he posted JKs hot100 #1). And I remember the whole debacle of that music show hug where both KTHs/PJMs were acting like it was the coldest, most impersonal hug they’ve ever seen and proof the two were no longer friends only for all that to be followed by vicnic and a lot of vmin moments. I can't remember the exact context but I think they've tried to do this with YG too. Solos projecting their negative feelings onto whoever they bias is not anything new, and it’s not something that only happens with JK. Pretty sure a lot of PJMs and some JM biased spent a good chunk of CH2 trying to push the narrative that JM was purposefully distancing himself from tkk because a lot of them simply wanted it to be true, only for the last half of the year to be the literal opposite of that. I've also seen a few PJMs push the fanservice narrative despite that literally being something he receives an insane amount of hate for.
It’s also extremely typical to see stans projecting mean girl personalities onto whoever they bias, I see people do it with groups all the time. Hell, ARMYs just did the same thing with JK’s comment about APT mentioning only Bruno implying he was shading Rose when I sincerely doubt that was his intention. That’s just how people operate in stan spaces, and it’s not the fault of the idols. Another example being aespa, those girls seem like they’re friends with half the industry and yet I constantly see their stans trying to pretend they’re shading every other group.
JJKs being what they are is probably a whole other discussion but no I do not blame JK for his solos being like that at all (just like I would never blame JM for PJMs). He also has a lot of token stans and success stans who don’t even like or respect him as a person, so no I don’t think they understand his personality or have any rational basis in interpreting his words and actions so negatively.
Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore. The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"
Anyways, I totally agree with this? Which is why your ask has me a bit confused (like is this bait to get me to yap in defense of JK 😭). Isn’t this like the perfect example of victim blaming then, because you’re saying it’s JKs fault that people are choosing to overlook all the good and nice things he does or says to focus on only their negative interpretation instead. Maybe your point is you feel that JK is genuinely being rude or insensitive, which is where I disagree, because imo 99% of the time it’s people choosing to misinterpret his actions to fit their narrative/agenda, and the 1% is normal, human emotion and all seven of them have had their moments.
Jungkook shouldn’t be held to impossible standards just because toxic fans exist, he doesn’t deserve to be dehumanized like that. I just fundamentally do not believe that he or any of the members need to cater to these types of fans, I don’t think they should have to live their lives being paranoid about what they say and do being taken out of context and twisted to that extent. Again, the only people who think that JK hates Jimin are super baised solos and shippers, not normal average fans, and JK shouldn’t have to alter his behavior to cater to those people who will most definitely find a way to twist his words and actions regardless of what he says or does, antis even do this with BTS in general, with Namjoon especially for fanwars all the time trying to twist his words. None of the members should ever be held at fault for their toxic solos or shippers.
anyways, I never found the right moment to post this video, but it's vaguely relevant here so I'll go ahead and add it. every time the discourse about the members being rude to each other pops up I think of this ProZD video about friends
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edit: edited paragraph eleven for clarity 🫡
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willowser · 9 months ago
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ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴ ᴀʟʟ ғᴏᴜʀs. werewolf kiri au.
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you wake up under a mountain of furs.
light comes flickering from the hearth and, warm and welcoming as it is—you've no idea where you are.
you don't recognize the inside of the cabin; it's certainly not yours, nor is its layout that of any you’ve seen in the village. it's rather plain, with a singular window and table and chair and small fireplace, empty enough that you wonder how anyone could live comfortably with so little.
outside, the winter storm rages on, and there's a howl that cuts through the air that strikes bone-deep.
all at once your memories come back to you: dragged through town with bound hands and ankles, in only a thin night dress, screaming with all your might as the physician that delivered you into this world tied you to an old pine, along with the priest and the man that sold you blueberries in the spring.
people you knew and loved. had trusted.
the memories become hazy after a while, darkening with the night that crept in. you remember your body losing its feeling, but not its fear. you remember the violence of the storm, breaking trees and branches and uprooting the forest floor. you remember the horrible and hulking shape of something rising in the moonlight.
the door shoves open then, with enough force to send you scurrying back into the corner of the room. the blizzard tries to rush inside, but a man stands in its way, leaning back against the wood to keep the wind and snow out where it belongs. he's—big, as tall as the frame and just as wide, with thick hair that he's tied back, messy and low.
he's rosy in his cheeks and on the tip of his nose, as bright as the eyes that snap to you the moment you dare to breathe.
he doesn't say anything, at first. the bag of firewood he sets at his feet settles as he turns to you in interest, eyebrows raised. the clothes he's wearing look—old and worn, certainly not suitable for the storm roaring outside, with the holes and tears in the fabric. the boots he has on, however, seem heavy, have his steps echoing when he moves further into the room.
you pull your knees up to your chest and try to shrink away; beneath your thin dress, your skin has pebbled up, reminding you of just how vulnerable you still are.
your fear translates; the man stops on the other side of the little table, breathing in deeply before raising his hands up in what reads as surrender.
"hello," he finally says, and when you don't respond, he places a thick hand to his dark-haired chest and introduces himself as, "eijirou."
he nods emphatically and then repeats himself, as if to reinforce the name. you only grant him a small nod in return—and he smiles. it's wide, stretching across his face, and friendly, authentic enough that you question whether you're as damned as you thought, or perhaps saved.
how did you even get here? the question finally thaws out from the recesses of your brain and you take another look around the room as if the answer lies between the wood or nestled into the furs. this place looks too hand-crafted, you realize, all of it—and the man before you looks like he could move mountains, if he wanted to.
the chains that had bound you were iron-strong and didn't once budge in all your thrashing, before things went dark—but now you are inside by a well-maintained fire, warm and free, and all that remains of your ill fate are the indentions worn into your wrists.
he's still staring at you, the man. eijirou. he's not moved any closer, either, and when you meet his curious gaze, his lips twist and his eyes narrow. a thoughtful noise comes out of his mouth, like he's thinking of what to say or how to say it, and you're reminded that you don't recognize where you are, nor do you recognize him in the slightest.
big as he is, you don't think he could have carried you too far in a snowstorm such as the one still raging outside; are you still somewhere deep in the forest? in a cabin at the heart of the wood? saved by a man that somehow survives with so little out in the middle of nowhere?
"eijirou," you test the name on your lips and he perks up at the sound, attention snapping back to you instantly. you don't know if it's winter seeping through the floor, or if it's in the way that he watches you, that makes you shiver.
finally, he asks, "cold?" and when you nod, he slowly makes his way over to you, carefully, as if approaching a deer ready to run.
—and then he sheds his shirt with a quick shrug and holds it out to you.
you should want to look away, for decency sake, but you're—stunned by it, by him. there's a litany of scars that paint him in odd and worrisome places, but he stands tall and strong before you, unbothered by his own state. unbothered by the eyes that run over the expanse of his bare shoulders, the dark, thick trail of hair running down from his belly button, the ripples of muscle his loose shirt did well to hide.
you take it from him carefully and it's so warm, almost hot, that you press it to your face immediately to chase away the chatter of your jaw. the material itself, however ragged, is big enough to drape over your curled form like a blanket, and so you do just that. it carries the earthy smell of the woods, deeply woven into the fabric; pine and musk and something smoky.
with your cheek still pressed to his shirt, you look up to thank him, at last, but the words still in your throat at the minute changes of his face: still smiling, though sharper now, somehow, and his eyes are still wide with that keen, rapt interest—but the crimson to them has set like the sun and they've grown just as dark as the night outside.
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