#i realize to many of you it might seem like i'm fixating on something small and insignificant but gaaah

[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Ernest: i thought you two shared a brain or something Lilith: i'm supposed to be his right hand, what do you think? Lilith: but i guess you keep proving me wrong. He never even told me about his mother Ernest: i'm so sorry, Lilith. Lilith: don't be ridiculous. Ernest: no i mean- about getting you into this Lilith: this… is just one of many, many other things i could've gotten myself into. Including death. Lilith: but i guess i'm starting to realize there really are worse things than death. Ernest: you know why my mother was so fixated on Forgotten Hollow and guys like you? Lilith: no. Ernest: okay, so, her name was Victoria and she was the town's healer. used herbs to make remedies. Ernest: she… wanted to cure you! Lilith: …vampires? scoff why? Ernest: i don't know. i remember she came from our garden one day and just put everything she had in hand on a bowl, and started working. Ernest: my mother loved life, even when it was really bad. i guess she just didn't want anyone to miss out. Ernest: she died before she could finish. it's undone and probably lost after i moved from our old cabin. Lilith: a witch trying to fix what they started is rare. Ernest: i don't think she was a witch witch. she didn't have sparkles coming out her fingers. she just liked helping people Lilith: a witch doesn't need a big hat and riddles to be considered as such. Lilith: most of them are as human as you. Lilith: witches usually have a sweet scent, and tasty blood. Ernest: oh-uh. i don't smell, then? Lilith: like a witch? no. Lilith: yours don't seem like a strong magical lineage… it's usually generational. Lilith: are your kids normal? Ernest: they're like me Lilith: enough of an answer. Lilith: what happened to Victoria? Ernest: oh nothing to do with all of this i guess. just a terminal illness Lilith: i'm sorry. Ernest: it's okay, it's been a while Lilith: …Vlad is completely unpredictable to me, as of now. but i don't think he'd hurt you if he found about your small sprinkle of magic, or your mother. Ernest: sigh well maybe i won't be around as much as i currently am. Ernest: i might have dragged things too far while not having stuff clear for myself. Lilith: i think we might have shared a space of mind, Ernest, not now but at some point. Lilith: quit your job, find something new. choose your family, live. Lilith: and maybe everything will start making sense. Lilith: even maybe, just maybe… your head won't be as heavy. Ernest: …do you like to paint? watercolors? Lilith: i don't know. Ernest: i currently illustrate for random child book authors, that's my job. i don't think i will use them anymore. Ernest: i'll get my stuff for you next time. Ernest: haha. it must get boring in here at some point, right? i know Vlad wasn't teached to differentiate boredom from living. Lilith: not until you came around. Ernest: me? chuckles come on! Lilith: you are interesting kind, i'll give you that.

[newtabfics]

I'm hooked on redeemed ganondorf and the researcher. when do they confess? How did they confess really? What happened!

okay so...i'll admit, this is absolutely my own headcanon for their "confession". I say it like that cuz it's not exactly a confession. Read on to understand but before you do:

Trigger warnings for hostage situation and combat violence.

Ganondorf frowned when he knocked on her door. It was nearly the end of the day and no one had seen Y/N. Given her adept ability to get in trouble at any moment if left unsupervised, he began to worry.

When no answer came, he called out her name, listening carefully before opening the door.

"If I ever don't answer, just come on in. I might just be too engrossed in my study," She'd told him once ages ago.

His eyes scanned over the room before widening as he caught sight of her desk. The chair was thrown aside and papers were scattered everywhere, a knife embedded in the book. The knife pinned a single parchment to her book.

Ripping it out, he read over the note and felt his blood boil before storming out, letter in one hand, knife in the other.

This seemed to grab the attention of a lot of Sheikah, however, as everyone was immediately on guard. Even the dragons that loomed over Kakariko growled softly at his fury.

"Stop right there!" An aged voice barked, making him freeze. He looked over to see Impa walking to him with Link and Zelda in tow. "What happened?" She asked simply.

"Lady Impa," A Sheikah said. "He came out of Y/N's house with the knife. No one has seen her all day and–"

"Was I talking to you?" She asked him before looking at him. "Something's happened. What was it?"

Ganondorf said nothing before giving her the letter. His body language told of unchecked anger that had burned hotter than Death Mountain.

She took it and read it over, paling. "The Yiga," She hissed. "So they managed to sneak past our guards." Looking up at him, she said, "It seems they've found you again. What will you do?"

"I'm bringing her home," He said simply as Link and Zelda hurried up. "Link, the Yiga have kidnapped Y/N. They believe they can use her as a bargaining chip to free me from the Sheikah."

Link clenched his jaw as he nodded. "We should move quickly then."

Y/N kept still as she watched the Yiga around her. She was being held in a small room within their Depths Base. It was one of the many Link had confessed to infiltrating. The only thing is, this one in particular sat atop a series of huge stalagmites.

She peeked through the opening to see gliders fixed with fans patrolling the hut. Outside, a Zonai device she recognized as a Construct Head was fixated to the door, a Beam Emitter practically glued onto the top.

No chance of escaping by herself, she realized, sighing softly as she looked to the ropes on her wrist and feet.

Taking a slow breath, she bit into the rope at her wrists, testing and tugging at the knot to find some give for it as she listened carefully to the emptiness of the Depths.

With the Gloom gone, it was somewhat peaceful. Though there were the Frox and the Stal monsters, it was still quiet.

She gulped as she finally undid her wrists, rubbing them before working at her feet.

"Just keep quiet and we won't have to kill you," One of the yiga said as he tightened the ropes on her when she was brought to the others.

She'd been ripped from her home, her face aching from the beating as she focused on what she could do. But what could she do when she'd been surrounded by Yiga as they took the balloon from their base in the Gerudo Highlands and into the Depths? She wasn't sure how long had passed since she'd been taken late at night, just that she was exhausted and needed to escape.

Y/N adjusted in the room, peeking again. She blinked as she noticed the seal on the doors and sighed. There was absolutely no way of getting out unless she took out the Yiga that'd sealed the door.

A sudden alarm sounding, a horn, made her jump and duck down as she heard an explosion down below. A shadow loomed over the window as the Beam Emitter had gone off before it was ultimately destroyed and the doors ripped open.

Ganondorf came in and locked onto her quickly, his usual stoic expression replaced with unfiltered joy as he hurried to her, taking her in her arms and holding her tight. "You're alright," He whispered.

Y/n clung to him, shaking. "You know how to make an entrance," She giggled softly. "Please. I want to leave."

"Hold onto me," he commanded. She did so, blushing as he lifted her and walked to the edge of the cliff, jumping down. He dropped to one knee as the impact of their combined weight echoed around them.

"Master Ganondorf!" one of the Yiga members gasped before being knocked out by Link.

"She alright?!" He called over the sounds of the battle.

"Yes. Let's go!" Ganondorf barked as he hurried her to a strange Zonai Vehicle. "Hold on."

"Oh goddess, did Link  build this monster?" She whispered as he set her down, taking hold of the cannon attached. She ducked, covering her ears as it charged and fired into the clump of Yiga that aimed for Link.

He hurried to the vehicle and took hold of the steering stick as Ganondorf manned the canon, hurrying across the rugged terrain.

Y/N gulped as she saw the Yiga pursuing quickly and scanned the skies, paling as she locked onto the glider.

"Incoming!" She yelled, pointing to the glider with a canon of its own attached.

They didn't have enough time as the Yiga attacked, blasting the vehicle apart and knocking them in different directions.

Y/N groaned as she tried to sit up before being ripped to her feet. The knife against her throat made her whimper as Ganondorf stood, glaring furiously at the Yiga.

"Let her go," Link snarled, on his feet as he pulled out his sword.

"Not a chance! Return our master to us and we might spare her!" The Yiga member snapped. "We have you surrounded, Link. It's over."

Link clenched his jaw as he eyed his surroundings, noting the multiple Yiga members all twirling the blades menacingly.

"You will spare her," Ganondorf said simply. "She is mine. You won't hurt her." 

Y/N's heart skipped as the Yiga shifted, looking at Ganondorf as his eyes locked onto hers. "Y/N, I swear to you, I'll get you home."

"Ganny," She whispered, surprising her with the determined look he gave her before nodding, the blade nipping at her skin. "I know you will. I trust you."

"Wait what?" The Yiga asked, staring at Ganondorf in almost horror as his arms loosened.

Ganondorf moved too fast for even Link to react as he suddenly ripped away the Yiga's blade from Y/N and snapped his arm. The man yelled in agony as Y/N grimaced at the sickening crunch before being pulled against the massive figure that hurried back to Link's side.

Link moved in front of them, guarding them as Ganondorf quickly checked her for injury, examining her throat.

"I-I'm okay," She assured him as his eyes locked onto her cheek. The bruise, she realized. "You know how I am. I wouldn't let them take me without a fight," She joked softly. She gulped as his eyes darkened and his breath picked up. "Ganny?" She whispered.

"They hurt you," He rumbled before straightening and glaring down at the remaining Yiga members that staggered. "Which one of you was it?" He asked simply, even making Link shiver in fear.

Link glanced back to see Ganondorf glaring squarely at the shifting Yiga members before reaffirming his grip on his weapon. "Better answer him," He said simply. "He doesn't fuck around when it comes to her."

Ganondorf stepped forward, looming over the Yiga members. "I will reduce you to ash and resurrect you in the flames of Death Mountain until I have decided you've had enough. For three days, she was missing. For three days, I will destroy your body and rebuild it and repeat this until you are just as broken as the clan you claim loyalty to. Now, which one of you was it?"

Rather than answering, the Yiga fled, leaving the three in the underworld only lit by the nearby Lightroot.

Escaping the Depths was much easier, given the balloons now stationed at every Chasm. Ganondorf lit the flame as Link rubbed a soothing balm into her raw wrists. Slowly, the balloon began to climb up into the air.

"I'm okay. Really," She offered, smiling. "Thank you."

Link sighed, shaking his head. "You're learning how to fight. No questions about it. You'll have to put away your books to learn it though."

"What? No!" She whined, making him smirk as he elbowed her before nodding to Ganondorf. The man was still glaring into the darkness as if challenging anyone to come near them again.

Link's elbow bumped against her side as he smiled at her. Y/N blinked when he winked and stood, dramatically crying out in false fear. "Oh no! I'm going to fall! Ah!"

Y/N blinked as Link jumped from the hot air balloon, leaving both her and Ganondorf to peer over the edge to see his paraglider open up as he glided down into the Depths.

"How has he lived into adulthood?" Ganondorf muttered.

"No clue. Zelda says he's too wild for his own good," She responded before glancing at him. His amber eyes kept fixated on Link even after he'd vanished into the darkness. "Ganondorf…are you alright?"

"I should ask you that," he sighed as he finally looked at her as they sat. He reached forward, fingers grazing over her cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"Aches, but it's nothing that a bit of rest won't help." She gulped when his thumb rubbed over where the blade had gently nicked her, smearing the small drop of blood that seeped out. Her heart began to hammer as he moved closer.

He pulled her close, resting his chin on her head as he cradled her to him. Slowly, she relaxed into his hold and hugged him. "I'm glad to have you back alive," he sighed finally.

She smiled. "Wouldn't have done it without you." She adjusted and kissed his cheek. "Stop saving me so much. I'm starting to feel like a damsel," She joked.

Ganondorf only smiled, ignoring the way his heart hammered as he hugged her to him again as the balloon sailed over the Chasm edge and into the orange Hyrule sky.

[illprotectyou-hearteyes]

Much Ado About Nothing: No Good Very Bad Version

Hi hello I'm having my semi-yearly Much Ado fixation. I was going to handle this with an overly long comparative post about productions I've seen, then quickly realized it would be too expansive for even a 'read more' to cover its sins. So instead I'll be spamming the dash with individual rants on productions. Because this is all I can currently talk about.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First up: the worst Shakespeare adaptation I have ever seen.

Much Ado About Nothing (2012), dir. Joss Whedon:

There are no pictures for this one because I simply will not be revisiting this film to find them. Sorry.

It's so rotten ya'll. Yeah it's on me for putting on Joss Whedon's Much Ado, but it's short and my parent's copy of it was right there one day so I put it in. And then kept it in out of morbid fascination.

Full disclosure I watched it maybe a decade ago. But to my memory it's so bad it almost circles round to being an instructive case of How Not To Do Shakespeare.

My understanding is that Whedon basically invited a bunch of friends over for the weekend on a whim to film this, which I knew going in. So I wasn't expecting a polished masterpiece or anything, but one would like to imagine you'd get some fun, playful improv energy from a bunch of friends coming together to create something on a tight timeline like that. You don't

I'm not going to judge the actors' abilities on their performances in this on account of how hastily it was was tossed together. But not since high school have I heard Shakespeare read in a way that made it seem more dead-in-the-water. The lines read as if the actors are reciting from cue cards without having been given 5 minutes to figure the rhythm of the verse or what the fuck their characters are on about. For all I know they might have been.

Actually, my apologies to my high school classmates. We were a small group of theatre and/or literature nerds, and in retrospect we were probably insufferable, but we had an interest in the topic and two weeks to read each text and a great teacher who gave us notes to help us understand and emote the text when we read in class. We sounded better than this.

Okay okay. So by now I can't remember many specific choices this production made, But I sure do recall that instead of leaving Beatrice and Benedick's past to the ambiguous history implied between them by a few key lines of dialogue and the general built-up tension between them, Whedon chose to explain away this history with a flashback. In which the whole complexity of their past is that they slept together one time and Benedick left without saying anything. It's one of the stupidest adaptation choices I've ever seen, because. because. Okay look:

1. The (from what I can recall) two whole lines of vague dialogue about Benedick and Beatrice's history manages to imply so many more interesting potentials than—that. I'll save you the close reading in this already too-long post, but they gesture towards what may well have been the beginnings of a romance between them at one time; a potential fear of commitment on Benedick's part; some action that Beatrice felt as betrayal, and perhaps deception. These suggestions segue into what you see of them in the present: e.g. Benedick's insecurities—his misogynistic obsession with the idea of women's unfaithfulness, which at times topples towards the admission of fear that he's specifically afraid no one would be faithful to him. Further, in the course of the play choosing Beatrice means rejecting the boy's club that has given Benedick companionship, yes, but also protected and cheered on the worst of his behaviours—might he (in presumably less dire circumstances) in the past have been less willing to stand by brash Beatrice in the face of their teasing, and perhaps scorn? Or perhaps it was simply that their inability to 'woo peaceably' made a ruin of matters at a time before they built up sufficient trust in their mutual affection to take the poison out of it. At the end of it, there's no knowing the specifics, but the relationship in the present is tangled and interesting enough to stretch into a complex of potential pasts. Whedon's pat summary of that past in a silent insertion does not contradict those potentials, and could tie in well enough with some, but he put in no work into so tying. Instead he seeks to swallow the might-have-beens into a single, pat event, waving away the feeling of calcified layers of affection and resentment in to explain away their history without deepening it. 2. If he had to try explaining their present dynamic through a single past event, it would have been cool if he'd put at least a gesture at a thought towards selecting an event that would be thematically resonant. Again, it could even have been the exact same event if it tied in with anything at all. If I'm being really very generous despite the nothing he has done to earn my goodwill, I'll admit that owning up to the vulnerability of using words honestly to express their emotions is one of the things the characters need to learn to do, and it's a failure on this point that causes the rift in Whedon's version. But 'communication is good' is such a skin-deep layer-one read of all the play has to say about words, about their pitiful insufficiency and frightening strength, the reality they can lay bare and the terrible viciousness they can disguise. 3. The choice also hobbles the dramatic tension of the accusation of Hero. For as much as the accusation concerns Hero's supposed cheating on Claudio, there is an inescapable emphasis on female 'purity' and chastity. The weight even the most sympathetic characters place on the mindset is quite unbalancing enough to many modern viewers, especially when the production is set in a place such as present-day America, as this one is. Having Benedick and Beatrice sleep together in a sequence that implies all the issue lies with the lack of communication and in no way suggests danger to Beatrice's reputation and future from the act itself results in the 3rd act turn coming even further left of field, and makes the characters' ethical perspectives borderline incoherent. 4. Okay yeah it's starting to feel weird that I've spent that many words ranting about a quick insert of Benedick and Beatrice having sex. You have to understand I have so much pent up rage about this production and this is one of the only concrete details I can recall to direct all that at. To clarify I'd love for them to have all the sex they want and be as conflicted about it as they fancy as long as it is thematically coherent with the narrative. Yeah I'm also not sure that sentence made this any better. Can you tell I'm asexual

Anyhoo that's it for the ranting. This production does have precisely 2 things to recommend it:

Nathan Fillion is good at Shakespeare apparently. I have no particular feelings about him as an actor outside of this, but he is The person in this film who says the lines like he has any clue what words are coming out of his mouth. Also, he plays Dogberry. And I'll be honest—I usually find the Dogberry scenes a bit of a drag. I looked forward to them so hard in this production. They were the only times I laughed. Dogberry suddenly seemed vibrant, alive, the soul of the play. I understood him for the first time. If I was in a dark parallel universe where this was the only Shakespeare I'd watched, I'd remember Dogberry as his greatest creation.

It's made by Joss Whedon, which means I get to be mean about it without feeling bad :) However I offer my sincere condolences to any decent artists who got roped into his vanity trashfire. Except Nathan Fillion, who somehow came off looking better for it. Any warm feelings I have towards the man are for making some minutes of this atrocity bearable.

Fin.

[phantomoftheorpheum]

any thoughts on the results of the poll? 🤍

a few! as usual, I'm going to place most of my thoughts under a cut, so as to not junk up people's dash.

so the final results were-

Faran - 10 votes (as you can see, one is me)

Mouse - 6 votes

Tabby - 5 votes

Imogen - 3 votes

Noa - 1 vote

Obviously, with only 25 votes, that's a super small sample size of the fandom. Ngl, I was surprised by the late surge Mouse had, after not getting any votes for hours, but that's cool to see (particularly since she hasn't had much of a storyline this season). There's obviously nothing scientific about this, since people who follow me are probably more likely to have similar tastes and interpretations, and while the poll was tagged and hopefully got some outside votes, I'm sure a different blog would get different results.

That being said, I think the fact that Faran led the entire 24 hours quite comfortably speaks to how many different elements of her character resonate with the audience. Some people told me that they relate to Faran's no-nonsense attitude, her perfectionism, her chronic pain or surgical trauma, her relationship with her parents, her dance background, etc. etc. I just think Faran has been a well written, well performed, and well rounded character.

Mouse came in second. I didn't get as many responses (public or private) about her, but someone did mention her tendency to hyper-fixate, which I also relate to, so I can definitely see where they're coming from. Personally, I'd like to see Mouse get a little more to do if we get a third season, but even her lack of screen time didn't stop y'all from saying you connect with her, so that makes me feel like she has a lot of potential.

Tabby was third, and she and Mouse traded 2nd and 3rd several times during the polling time, so they came very close to tying. No one told me why they voted for Tabby, so I don't have any external explanations. For me, the thing I most relate to with Tabby is her creativity and passion for film.

Imogen landed in fourth. At first, I was a little surprised, since she's at the center of the show so often. But I think Imogen's experiences are just a little less common. For example, becoming a teen mom (particularly in the traumatic way that she did) is something I suspect not too many of my followers relate to. So I think Imogen may genuinely be a little less "relatable" than most of the other characters, though I think she's well realized.

Noa came fifth. This wasn't a surprise, tbqh. I think if I'd done this poll in season 1, she might have been near the top. It seems to me that a lot of people feel at least a little confused with or disconnected from Noa's actions this season. I don't think this is mostly the character's fault. While her storyline would probably always be the type to divide audiences, personally, I feel that I do understand why she might be behaving the way she is (I wrote a thing about why I think I understand her draw to Jen over Shawn a while back, even if I'm not a big fan of this kind of romantic drama), but I am confused and frustrated by the way the show is choosing to handle it. I just feel that a lot of the production choices (writing, dialogue, cinematography, editing) are inconsistent in what they seem to be trying to express to the audience, and that does confuse me. I think that makes an inherently divisive storyline even more so.

I only got specific feedback about Faran and Mouse, so I can't tell you specifically why people voted for the other 3, but those are my feelings and some speculation!

[letterstodreams]

Altering My Crazy Quilt Religion

It's time to add the next alteration to this crazy quilt religion, a new patch to cover the flaws of the old design, to embellish and change up the patterns that don't seem quite right now that I can see what else to add to it and what to change. It's time to set it down in writing so I hope and intend to remember it and apply it into my life in action. I already have realized it and it has taken a load off my shoulders and made my step lighter, my hopes for the future feel brighter and more open, more choices, more hope to see ahead, for myself, my daughter, all those who might depend and rely on me.

Because that is often one of the biggest reasons I keep fighting and keep searching- because others might need me and if I can't give them all they need, it hurts and feels more like a catastrophe and miserable failure than if I myself fail myself. I guess I feel like there's only so much I can do about my own self, because I've done so much and still, look at me.

But with others, there is so much I could hypothetically do and yet so much that could remain undone, that could mess up their whole lives if it's not done correctly enough. So, ironically, somehow, having others who need me can be the biggest thing keeping me going in finding things that can help myself. I can't help them if I'm too lost, and what helps them sometimes helps me too, even when it comes in unexpected forms and I never thought that such things would help me.

Anyway, it's time to alter this crazy quilt of my beliefs, to add the next revision. It's an ongoing, organic thing, and can change dramatically over time. I often settle for understandings and practices that I myself may sense as being very deeply flawed. But it works for me better than anything else, to achiever results, to describe the reality that I am experiencing, and if I was to try to remove the flaws, it would remove the good things too, until I see which things to remove and which to keep, or which to alter and tweak, and how, and how much.

Sometimes I get the feeling that awful seeming things might be true, and work, and be the sad, painful facts of life, because it's what seems to work, when nothing else will. It works to make my life functional, as good as I can find how to be, despite how wrong some of these ideas seem to me, at face value. I still don't push those ideas on anyone else, though, and tend to more so hide them from most people, because I fear the wrongness and harm they seem like they could also inflict.

I think that in the wrong hands such ideas do cause great harm, such as religious dogma, which can be used as a fire to scorch the earth and do tremendous harm , to battle others or harm one's own self and one's own life. Or it can be used as a fire to cook and keep warm and tell stories around, bring life and order and harmony. Not that I adhere to dogma much, or doctrine, rituals and rules. Or is dogma the right word, or something else that I adhere to, in small ways, altered ways? Whatever it is, I still fear it in the wrong hands.

It depends on how you interpret the same ideas, and how you use them, how rigidly you follow them, how adaptable you are, how many fair and correct loopholes you find in the "law of God", so to speak (Which is a little idea borrowed from the book 'Violeta' by Isabel Allende. A few of her books say a few things, just in passing, that free and enlighten me from religious fixation and rigidity. A few fiction authors are like that for me).

So, ok, on to the embellishments of the crazy quilt. I was reading some books which helped me to think of all these ideas, in combination with my own, and so I will borrow some of the ideas that sparked my own, and give them credit for where they came from. First, from the book '7 Lessons from Heaven: How Dying Taught Me to Live a Joy-Filled Life' by Mary Neal, I found something that helped me. She mentions her "Daily Creed":

"I believe God's promises are true. I believe heaven is real. I believe nothing can separate me from God's love. I believe God has work for me to do. I believe God will see me through and carry me when I cannot walk."

She read this many times each day, when she had lost her son, and it helped her to find the truths that were constant and unchanging, and to find her way to healing and reclaiming her life again. When I read her Daily Creed, it made me think of something in my own experience that I have gone through time and time again.

It reminded me of my daily prayers. And how, every time that I get through yet another day, where I feel lost and alone in many ways, often, and when I often feel I have failed in so many ways, and I don't know if I will ever succeed in all the ways that I feel I should or need to, I still turn to God and ask for his guidance. I ask for his forgiveness. And I ask for him to forgive me for sins known and unknown. But before all else, I start my prayers by asking him to help me to worship him in a good way. I ask for him to give me the strength for that.

And I ask for him to give me the strength for everything that I've been praying about over the past few weeks and to help me with those things. I wrap them all up together because there are so many prayers I spontaneously pray over the course of a few weeks, and this covers them all. As vague and simple as that might sound, I feel like this works. Of course, since each week I also pray for all the prayers I've prayed for previously, then I guess it's kind of like a never-ending list that goes back into my history. But I feel like God is capable of that, and I also pray for something else, or something better, if God wills, and everything in his time and way. I also pray for all my loved ones and family and myself to be helped with any health or issues they need help with, and for them to be given strength for that, and the whole world, nature, animals, plants, too.

Anyway, I always feel, every time I ask for all this and for forgiveness, I feel that I am given forgiveness, for sins known and unknown, for my continual failures and inadequacies, and the future still looms unknown, and I don't know where my life will lead. And if I look at my past, I can see so much that could be seen to be failures, why don't i just do what I need to do, and why do I keep failing over and over again, at what seems so simple on paper? Where is the hold up?

Why would God forgive me for all this, if I follow the line of thinking that we can fool ourselves that we deserve forgiveness when we do not, that our asking for forgiveness can be unworthy and our apology or repentance unaccepted by God? I do consider that some repentance might be unworthy and unaccepted, if one isn't trying hard enough, or trying in the right ways. But I feel that my repentance is accepted and worthy, each day I come to God with my prayers. I didn't always feel that way, and sometimes I think it was incorrect dogma or doctrine, or maybe just incorrect understanding, that made me feel this way.

But now I feel forgiven, embraced, accepted by God, each and every day. I feel that way, each time I come to God and am accountable to him for my life and yet another day on the endless string of beads of my life that will go on for who knows for how long. A life that will have who knows how much or little to show for it, in the end, but I still feel forgiven, accepted by God.

So if I can feel that way each day when I pray, then what is to stop me from feeling this same thing, this same forgiveness and acceptance, all throughout the day, during the actual day and not just at the end or the beginning or whenever I have these kinds of prayers? I tend to get wrapped up the feeling of failure, fear, the feeling of maybe not being good enough, maybe failing the test, during the day. I tend to stress and fret and feel like I'm being put to the test with all my daily actions and choices and trying to make sense of it all and see a path forward and figure out what is the good thing to do with my life, with each step, with all my entrenched problems and feeling of weakness.

I think many religious people would try to tell me that my failures are unacceptable, that I must be better, and I have to keep repenting for my lack, and if I don't change my behavior and do better, that means I am not trying hard enough, so my repentance won't be accepted. But every day, at the end of each day, when I pray, that is not how I feel. I feel my repentance is good enough.

In fact, I am not sure what I'm even repenting for because I know I make mistakes, but some of the things that religious people would try to blame me for, I feel like it's out of my control and I can't function the ways they tell me I must. And I think God might see it the same way, which is why I ask for forgiveness for my sins that are known and ones unknown.

I don't know if maybe it is in my control and reach somehow and I just don't realize, but nor do I want to fret and beat myself up for things that are really out of my reach, which seems like self-abuse to the level of despair and depression. It's like punishing yourself and wearing yourself out trying to run a marathon that you aren't fit for, while the rest of your life goes down the drain because you're trying to be perfect for a challenge you can't even attain. Like a marathon, maybe you can train and do more over time, but if your own strength and ability is too low, maybe you'll never in your whole life run a marathon.

Anyway, I guess I've just come to accept finally that many of my apparent failures and weaknesses could be this way and I can feel free and at peace instead of harried and guilt-ridden and fearful all day as I try to grapple with the raw material of the challenges, goals, confusion and failures and crises that fill my day-to-day life and heart and soul.

Somehow, I can trust it all to God, that he will forgive and repair all the frayed ends of my life and actions. Or so I can hope, and the rest of it, I will just rest in his peace in the storm and failure, and in his forgiveness, and the knowledge of my ongoing humility and repentance, spoken or just deep in my bones, all day long, as much as I can. I'm so humble I know I might be unable to do better, and I see that as true, valid, good enough. My crazy quilt religion, my crazy quilt God is the one who accepts and embraces and redeems this.

So that is one excerpt I found in a book that triggered those insights for me, somehow. And there's another book passage that also helped me. I will try to find it too and write about it later on, if the ideas come up for me once more when I reread it. I guess I'll save it for another post, next post maybe, if I have time and focus.

[in2thenewworld]

Hello I would like to request a genshin impact matchup!

I'm a 20-year-old Infp Aries that goes by they/them who is mostly attracted to men or masculine people.

I may be a little awkward around new people due to anxiety but I warm up pretty quickly especially if someone has the same interests or I just feel comfortable. But once I'm comfortable I'm usually loud even without realizing it which goes along with my stubbornness and not-so-short temper. I am still open-minded to things and topics I don't have a strict stance on and do like to try new things. I am a very introverted leaning ambivert and fit best in a small group of friends.

But I do care for the people I'm close to and try to show it, whether it's trying to gift them stuff, listen to them and give advice, or asking for physical affection like hugs. When it comes to romantic interests I do get cocky easily and I like to flirt and tease them, usually by playfully poking their buttons. Though I am easy to fluster and get excited- which is embarrassing cause sometimes I have problems with volume control. especially if it's about a most recent hyper fixation, which is usually anime or video games, usually when I'm just in general excited or comfortable with someone.

My wardrobe taste has ranged from feminine to masculine unsurprisingly and I have a keen eye for fashion whether it's cute or makes me look like a vampire or both. And I have recently gotten obsessed with skincare so if I had someone that is willing or put up with face care with me would be amazing. I'm generally attracted to someone who I can be myself around and I know I'll get along with easily, that when together balances/compliments each other. I know this is long so goodbye and thank you!

hello! apologies that this took me a little while! I’ve been back at college as well as working on personal art stuff, but here’s your match!

loading your match! ପ( •̤ᴗ•̤ )੭ु⁾⁾.｡.:✽・ﾟ＋

your match is…

KAEYA

alright, strange as it may seem, i think you’ll get what I mean when I say kaeya has an eye for people who are awkward at first. he’s practically an expert in bringing people out of their shell.

kaeya might come off as confident and extroverted, however… he’s a bit of a loner deep down, not wanting to let people in. you seem to break down his walls though. you come back again and again to stay by his side and show him love. he’s not sure how to even react initially, but you can tell he’s grateful.

your open mind puts him at ease. he can’t talk to very many people about his past and has no choice but to be selective. and there’s just something about you that truly draws him in.

admires your eye for fashion, especially the goth stuff. you and rosaria remind him a little of one another in that way. he’ll introduce you both if you haven’t met already.

kaeya is very easy going. he knows he can trust you, he’ll let you make a lot of decisions, etc.

omg home spa date? he’s so down for it if you are. and he’ll listen while you detail all of these products and their purpose.

he makes the effort to remember all of the little things you love so he can spoil you later. you’ll mention something once or twice and be surprised to find he retains it. gifts are definitely not in short supply.

you have this back and forth of flirting and getting the other one flustered, which is very funny for anyone else to watch

kaeya is just as grateful as you are to have a partner he can be his authentic self with c:

[sae-bae-ran]

One of the things that I absolutely adore about Saeyoung’s route is how the story lets you know that it’s okay to let yourself in behind the (already crumbling) walls around his fragile emotional state. There’s this call, two actually, that are not particularly romantic or anything, but holy hell do I love them. On day 5 (I think) he asks the MC about her habits when she’s nervous and talks about wanting to observe her and see for himself if she has any. The focus is on dear ol’ MC and that’s okay at this point of the story. On Day 5 he still struggles with the thought of letting people in. Once he’s decided to start dealing with the emotional turmoil coming with the whole “do I deserve to be loved or naaah?” problem, there’s an outgoing call that lets MC hear Saeyoung talking to himself while he’s hacking Magenta’s network and let me tell you, to me as the MC this felt fantastic. “OMG, he talks to himself when he’s neck-deep into work! That’s the most adorable thing E V E R!!!” And not just that, it also feels like from this point on it’s safe to observe him. Does he like his tea with or without sugar? Does he prefer to sleep curled up on one side or on his back? Does he lick his fingers clean or does he use a napkin after munching on his favorite HBD? Doesn’t even matter tbh. What matters is that from this point on the MC can get to know the real Saeyoung in all his flawed glory and that’s because he’s okay with letting her in.

Edit: @waitingformessages Thank you so much for writing the exact day and time for the first call in the tags! ^^ The second call (”I didn’t set the alarm”) happens on day 10 after the 10:22am chat.

[ivant1ll]

Then How About I Place This Kiss On Your Lips~?

. . . Content Desc (ↄ〃∇〃)ↄ

∘ I AM ONCE AGAIN BACK PROJECTING MY FIXATIONS ONTO THIS SILLY ASS APP!!! (me trying to rack my brain doing my very best to post more often) . . . LOADING . . . ₓ Vanitas x Reader \\ vanitas being the flirt he is & flirting with reader ~ ˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ this is a . . . FLUFF !!! ༄ؘ ˑ TW + info : no trigger warnings again this time! though i had this idea in mind for quite a while and my fixation for csov has died down a bit over the past few weeks, i still intend on hoping i can do this to the best of my ability! since ofc this takes place in paris i tried my best to actually correlate locations that are actually in paris yet trying to stay time accurate too!! WORD COUNT : 1915

The moment your head hits the soft cotton pillow placed neatly on your bed, it can take all of mere seconds for you to drift off into your bittersweet sleep. The lovely feeling of being able to finally rest after going through the many experiences that come with each passing day. Yet, the aching feeling of what the world might bring you the next day, what if you simply aren't ready to face it? The moment you finally begin to drift into slumber, you can't help but consider that as the ambiance outside lulls you to sleep. Just as every night, you were once again drifted away into your slumber, unaware of how much time has passed.

"Morning sleepyhead~"

You are suddenly broken away from your sleep, being the light sleeper you are, the voice speaking suddenly makes your eyes shoot open. Quite shocked, you shoot up and look towards your windowsill which you tend you leave open at night. Other than maybe a bird or two sitting on it, you lived a fair distance away from the ground so it wouldn't be like someone could get in. Unless well, it was the person that you realized was the one that had startled you awake, Vanitas. Still groggy, you seem to give yourself a second before saying anything to let your body adjust to being awake.

"Vanitas? What are you doing here at this hour... it's quite early in the morning" You don't seem upset or annoyed but sure as hell not very pleased to be woken up so suddenly. Vanitas proceeds to give you one of his signature smirks which would only be followed by a tease.

"Well well, isn't someone fiesty this morning~ it's not even that early. Get ready y/n, cause I've decided we are going out on an adventure today! Your's truly thought that taking you around to places would be quite fun, so go ahead and get ready! And make it fast~" Without even waiting for your response, he then shuts your window and proceeds to sit on your roof, knowing you probably couldn't say no and would proceed to reluctantly follow along with his plans.

That you did. Unable to have much of a say to your close friend that had a habit of sporadically asking you to go out and do things. You did love doing it though so I guess it's a good trade for not being able to decline the request. After finally clothing and grooming yourself, you opened up your window motioning for Vanitas, who was still sitting quite comfortably on your roof to enter. As he begins to make his way into your small apartment, you fetch a satchel of yours before turning back to face him.

"My my my well isn't someone dressing to impress today! I wouldn't say this is all that special of an occasion but do you look quite divine." You hide your face slightly to avoid Vanitas' striking blue eyes from seeing your slightly reddened cheeks. He can't help but let out a tiny chuckle. "Ready to leave y/n?"

"Well we can't just stand around here, so I suppose so!" You both make your way for the rooms exit, you then realized you can't just set foot outside without any clear direction as of where to go you'd think to yourself. "Where are we even heading to first Vanitas?"

"Well, I'm glad you asked! I suppose on our little expedition, a nice refreshing drink or something to snack on wouldn't hurt..." He then hesitates, probably thinking of where to go for those desired items is what you assume. "Perfect! Y/n, we're off to Le Procope, I've been meaning to stop by there and try something nice." Vanitas of course as always giving you a split second to even register what you said grabs your hand to turn you in the correct direction.

As strange as it would seem to go to such a fine dining place especially at this time of day, it would certainly not be a plan you had expected. But, you choose to trust Vanitas here and just follow his lead. "He seems quite happy to be doing this", you think to yourself subconsciously smiling at the thought that Vanitas could already be enjoying this though this outing just began. The chatter of everyone surrounding you, the clacking sounds of horses towing people around on their daily commutes, all the sounds around you had left you so entranced that the sudden voice of Vanitas caught you off guard.

"Earth to Y/n! We're almost there, it would be pretty annoying if I lost you out here so you better pay attention to where you're going, we're here anyway."

You are snapped back to reality and realize that you are now in front of the quite famous historical cafe, Le Procope. Though you've lived in Paris for a few years now, you often just choose to stay in the comfort of your own home either researching or you'd go out occasionally just to see nice views to sketch in your notebook. Keeping that in mind, you let your eyes drag their view across the look of the place. "This place is beautiful!" You look quite excited, which can't help but make Vanitas smile a bit.

"Well yes of course, I'm still shocked you haven't even been here before y/n. It's like you live under a rock or something! Now then, let's head inside." He leads you inside as he opens the door for you, you are both greeted by the staff and given a table to sit at. It just happens that you are both placed right next to a window, which gives a nice scenic view of the busy street outside.

You turn to your friend, "Hey Vanitas, why did you take me here anyway? Usually when you "whisk me away" on another outing like this we usually go somewhere less fancy. Is this a special occasion?"

Vanitas let's out a slight laugh in response, "Well y/n a nice trip to a cafe every once in a while wouldn't hurt! I've been meaning to come here again, and well.." You notice that same smirk again, what is he going to say now... "You actually look quite splendid today y/n, so I thought it would be fitting to take you somewhere nice too."

"That little bastard." You think to yourself as you literally can't hide how flustered that got you. Even if you may have the slightest; well slightest is what you like to tell yourself bit of romantic attraction for him, you can't help but fall to shambles at times even if Vanitas were to give you the simplest compliment. Your flustered train of thought is suddenly caught off by that little tease across the table from you,

"What's the matter y/n, cat got your tongue~?" You look at him taken aback slightly.

"What- no?! I just didn't know what to say. Thank you- I appreciate the compliment." You say whatever words you can muster up. You are simply left defenseless to Vanitas's playful flirting.

To avoid a potential awkward silence, you bring up a topic which then turns into a whole discussion. You tend to often notice that any discussions or debates that you have with Vanitas seem to be quite eventful, seeing as both have quit the different outlooks on things you may both be interested in. Whether it would be Vanitas insisting whatever he says is correct or questioning your viewings on the many affairs the world currently has to offer. Your exceeding interests in Vanitas's thought process even became overwhelming at times, and you couldn't help but ask him for more information. Some things he'd choose to then elaborate on, others not so much.

Through all of your chatter, which included you two eating as well, a few hours had managed to pass by. It was finally going into mid afternoon, so you and Vanitas decided to take your leave and venture to the next spot. Once again, Vanitas chooses to use his "special" set of words simply meant to poke fun at you some more.

"Well then my belladonna, a trip to Parc Montsouris would be nice. I think seeing the fireworks this evening would be a lovely pass time. What do you think?" He suggests, expecting you to give it some thought.

Knowing such a situation would only play at your heartstrings more and more by the second, you begin to hesitate thinking that might not be the best idea. But then again... this could be the next idea for a new sketch of yours. "Who's to say that Vanitas would even reciprocate such feelings towards me? I suppose it wouldn't hurt just going anyway. His same old flirty self may be hard to see through, but seeing what could happen would be quite nice." After collecting your thoughts, you simply nod in response which prompts Vanitas to bring forth the journey. Though of course, a slight complaint of course as the journey continued ensued. It being a simple "If I had realized how much walking this was going to take I would have just gone back to your apartment!" You simply laugh it off though as you both arrive, the sun now beginning to set. The colorful hues would hit Vanitas face, which you couldn't help but simply smile seeing how pretty it looked. That smile Vanitas happened to be noticed by Vanitas,

"Is something the matter y/n?"

Caught off guard you quickly shake your head and just respond with a flustered "Nothing! I must have gotten lost in thought again." You laugh it off as you both reach the location. As the love sights of nature surround you both, Vanitas proceeds to grab you and rush you over to a spot a bit far back in the park, completely empty as opposed to the main areas filled with people with the same intention to watch the firework show.

"This is a little place I like to call 'The Secret Garden'. People tend to be so annoying at times when I'm down there, so I like to come here when I need to relax. Come on y/n, I think the show is about to start! I'd probably end up blaming you if we missed it~"

You quickly walk up to Vanitas to reach the perfect position to watch the fireworks, confused why he would go to such lengths for you to see some fireworks, you can't help but ponder why. You then decide to ask.

"Vanitas, why are you doing all this for me? I do appreciate this incredibly yes, but it seems so different of you to do something like this with me this time, it feels different..."

That damn smirk again.

"Well when someone has feelings for you and you reciprocate them you obviously do something nice, duh!"

"What." That's all that can possibly run through your head. Did you make it that obvious? You are frozen in place, unaware that he would confront you so suddenly.

Vanitas lets out a short chuckle, "Aw, out of things to say y/n~? Let's see... then how about I place a kiss on your lips~"

In the blink of an eye, the shorter man's tender lips met your own, as the crackling sound of a pulsing light reaches the air, exploding into different arrays of colors. In your shocked state, you can only compose the thought, "I suppose, this is perfect"

[rosiesung]

7 Days || Y.JW

for @geminirules "Just Friends" collab

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Pairing: Jungwon x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Friends to Lovers AU

Words: 3.63k

Warnings: Reader calls Jungwon a dick.

Synopsis: You are dared to pretend to be in a relationship with your best friend Jungwon. Initially, you go through with the childish challenge, knowing it will be insignificant to your friendship. But as the days pass, you begin to realise your true feelings for him. Will your revelations ruin your friendship? Or will something beautiful blossom because of them?

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

"I dare you to pretend like you're dating Jungwon for a whole week."

You looked at your best friend with wide eyes, a similar expression of surprise on his face. There was no way you were going to do that. It would be way too awkward.

"Come on y/n. Don't be a party pooper. It's not like you guys are going to fall in love."

Of course things wouldn't turn out that way. No matter what, nothing would change the way you saw Jungwon. He would always remain your best friend and nothing more.

Jungwon looked too embarrassed to say anything. Both of you knew it was just a dare. What was the worst that could happen?

"Fine. Starting tomorrow Jungwon's my unofficial-official boyfriend," you announced, linking your arm with his. Jungwon hid his face in his hands as everyone around you screamed and cheered. This was going to be one interesting week.

~

☀︎ DAY 1 ☀︎

Since you only had to put on a show in front of your friends, you figured the best thing to do would be to hang out with Jungwon in solitude. He didn't have a problem with your plan. You both had been having playdates together ever since you were three. He was comfortable being alone with you.

Both of you met at your secret spot. A small grove behind the schoolyard. It was a place the two of you had found while skipping classes one day. Ever since then, this was where you spent time together whenever you needed some peace and quiet.

"I can't believe you actually agreed to this," Jungwon said, mindlessly plucking the grass he laid on. You sighed, staring at the row of trees beyond. "A dare's a dare. Besides, we have nothing to worry about because we don't have feelings for each other."

Jungwon sat up. "You know that we can't avoid all of them for the entire week right? They're literally planning to hang out at the cafe just so they can see us in the act." He sounded worried. There was no need to be.

"Of course I know that. So what? We'll let them see what they want to. It's not like they're going to make us kiss or something. The most we'll do is feed each other and hold hands."

Unlike Jungwon, you had already thought everything out. You knew how far to go while respecting the boundaries of your friendship. All Jungwon had to do was trust you.

He cringed in disgust at your words. "You're going to pay for landing me in this mess. We've barely even started and I already feel so miserable."

You patted his shoulder, flashing him an assuring smile. "You're not alone in your miser mister. After this is over, I'll do all your homework for you."

Jungwon laughed. "Learn how to do your own first. Then you can come and ruin mine."

~

☀︎ DAY 2 ☀︎

As Jungwon had predicted, your friends called you out to the cafe. Both of you were supposed to show up together. Jungwon met you a block away from the cafe, looking incredibly reluctant. "Are you sure you want to do this," he asked, just about ready to turn back around.

There was a determined look in your eyes. "Remember when he had to play Hansel and Gretel's parents for that play we did in preschool?" Jungwon nodded. He could never forget that day. "If we managed to get through that, we can get through this without a problem."

That made sense. Appreciative of your pep talk, Jungwon took your hand and whisked you away to the cafe.

By the time you reached your destination, both your hands were sweaty. Jungwon was just as nervous as you were. Not only because you had to pretend like you were dating, but also because your friends weren't going to miss the opportunity to tease you.

Seeing you two enter hand in hand, everyone began hooting and cheering. Jungwon's cheeks flushed almost immediately. You had to drag him towards the table you were supposed to sit at. "It's nice to see you two arriving together," one of your friends said, making space for you.

Taking a seat, you watched in horror as they placed a glass of juice with two straws in front of you both. No one had to explain what its purpose was. You glanced at Jungwon whose eyes were fixated on the glass hesitantly.

"If we get this over with now we'll be at peace," you whispered, leaning forward to place one of the straws between your lips. You looked away when Jungwon did the same, feeling the heat in his face on your cheek. You were certain you had never downed a drink so fast in your life. It didn't take long for you to finish the contents of the glass, quickly sitting back up to catch your breath. Your friends couldn't seem to get enough of the event, laughing and clapping avidly.

"You guys are so cute," some said. "Both of you would make such a nice couple in reality," said others.

Sitting there amongst your terribly evil friends, you wondered how you were going to get through the next five days with Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 3 ☀︎

Your friends had invited you to another escapade at the park. You couldn't tell what they had in plan this time but you were sure it wasn't going to be enjoyable. At least this time, you and Jungwon didn't have to show up hand in hand.

When you reached the park, Jungwon was already there. Your friends beckoned you over, making you stand next to him.

"Now that our subjects have arrived, here's your to-do list. First, remain holding hands the entire time we are here. Second, Jungwon, give y/n your jacket if she starts feeling cold. Third, walk her back home and make sure you give her a nice, sweet little kiss before she goes inside."

Jungwon let out a noise of surprise. He wanted to run as far as he could and never come back. Holding your hand was fine. He had gotten used to it because of the previous day. He didn't mind giving you his jacket, but you were already wearing one so he didn't see why he would find the need to. Jungwon could do many things. But kissing you was not one of them. It didn't matter if it was on your cheek, your forehead, or the back of your hand, because there was no way on earth that he would bring his lips anywhere near yours.

What neither of you realized was that your friends were willing to go to the farthest lengths to make sure you went through with their tasks. They made you two walk in front of them so that they could see your hands intertwined. When the sun went down and the air started getting colder, they made you take your jacket off so that Jungwon would be left with no choice but to give you his. Just when it seemed like your night of torture would come to an end, they even made you share a single cone of ice cream. When it was finally time to go home, two of your friends followed behind you to make sure that Jungwon did his bidding. It was awkward enough walking through your neighborhood hand in hand. Those who knew you cast looks of confusion and surprise upon you two. Eventually, you reached your doorstep. Jungwon let go of your hand, standing in front of you. He looked everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You glanced behind your shoulder, rolling your eyes when you saw your two friends filming you from behind your neighbor's car. They weren't even attempting to be discrete.

"Hurry up and kiss me already. This is too embarrassing," you urged, slapping Jungwon's arm. He sucked in a breath, pressing his lips in a thin line. "Do you think it's not for me? I mean, I'm the one who has to kiss you for heaven's sake."

"Stop pitying yourself and just get on with it. The longer we stand here the more reason they'll have to punish us tomorrow."

Jungwon stared at you long and hard. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, pressing his lips onto yours without a second thought. You froze, eyes going so wide they might have popped out of your head. Even though it was probably only for two seconds, it felt like an eternity. Time froze as you stood in the foreign feeling of his lips on yours. He pulled away almost immediately, skipping down your driveway as fast as he could with a short wave and 'good night'. Still stunned, you entered your home, breaking into a smile when you closed the door.

~

☀︎ DAY 4 ☀︎

The next day, Jungwon asked you to meet him at your secret spot. So far, your friends hadn't made any plans to get you together. You saw Jungwon sitting in the middle of the grove, laying down on the damp grass as he usually did. Walking over, you sat down beside him, flicking his forehead so that he would open his eyes.

He grinned on seeing you, sitting up with a soft groan. "So, how was your night?"

You furrowed your brows at the question. It wasn't like him to ask you things like that. But you decided to overlook it. Maybe he was still feeling a bit awkward after the kiss you both hard shared the previous night.

You shrugged. "It was fine. How was yours?"

"I couldn't sleep," he revealed. It sounded like he'd been dying to tell you. "Why's that," you asked, believing that you had an idea of the reason.

"Last night scarred me," Jungwon shared, pretending to gag. You didn't know why, but hearing him say that made your heart sink. Suddenly, you felt horrible. "Was it really that bad," you asked, genuinely curious to know what he thought of it. Jungwon nodded, making you feel even worse. "It was worse than I thought it would be," he added. Your eyes started stinging. A lump formed in your throat and the longer you held it back, the more it hurt. You knew you hadn't been eager to kiss him, but you would argue about how 'bad' it was. But bringing that up right now would just be stupid. Jungwon would misunderstand where you were coming for and that would just lead to another disaster entirely. You had told yourself that you weren't going to let this dare get to you, but four days in you were already slipping. The longer you sat there, listening to Jungwon whine and complain about everything he'd had to do with you so far, the harder it became to control your emotion. Not able to take it anymore, you got up abruptly and ran away, leaving Jungwon sitting there extremely puzzled.

~

☀︎ DAY 5 ☀︎

You didn't respond to any of Jungwon's calls or texts. You didn't have it in you to face him. He would be disappointed if he found out the real reason behind your sappy mood. So you were gonna wait till you got over it before facing him.

You still couldn't believe that you had been so affected by Jungwon saying that he hated the kiss. Despite telling yourself that you disliked it too, you couldn't help but think otherwise. There was something so magical about it. You had never felt that way because of a kiss before. Whenever you thought back to it, an exciting warmth rippled through your mind. Your heart danced in glee and a wide smile formed on your lips.

But you weren't supposed to feel that way. Jungwon was your best friend. Besides, he hadn't kissed you willingly. You didn't understand why it felt so special to you when it clearly meant nothing to him. You knew you couldn't blame him for that. His mind was wired to see you as nothing more than a friend. You found it hilarious. Here you were, realizing that you probably liked your best friend after having continuously assured yourself and him that something like that would never happen. The sad part was that Jungwon would never reciprocate your feelings. You were all alone in this.

A knock sounded at your window, startling you. Slipping out of your reverie, you glanced towards it, eyes widening in surprise when you saw Jungwon crouched before it. You didn't think twice before letting him in. He entered your room and stood in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You wanna explain what happened yesterday?"

You frowned and turned away shoulders slouching disinterestedly. "Is that what you came here for," you asked, regretting letting him in?

"Well did I have a choice? You've been blatantly ignoring me while all I've been trying to do is make sure you're alright," he said, stepping closer to you.

"I'm fine. If that's all you needed to hear, you can leave now," you replied. You didn't need him prying and prodding at you right now.

Jungwon stood his ground, clearly not satisfied with your answer. "No, you're not y/n. You aren't fine. Tell me what's bothering you."

You sighed and faced him. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know."

Jungwon furrowed his brows. He didn't know what that meant. "I think I'll be the judge of that."

"It's you. You're bothering me," you spoke, narrowing your eyes at him. Jungwon hadn't been expecting that. But he didn't let the surprise show on his face. "What did I do?"

"You made me feel so worthless and undesirable. But that's not your fault. I can't blame you because you're right to think that way about me. I'm just pitying myself here and there's nothing you can do about it so please, just leave me alone." The tears were coming back again. You didn't want to break down in front of Jungwon. His face fell. He didn't know what to say to that. He thought you knew he was just being overdramatic. He seriously hadn't meant to hurt you. Before he could apologize, you turned to him. "I don't think I'll be good at keeping this a secret, so let me just tell you that I'm starting to catch feelings for you. If that makes you uncomfortable then you can leave. If you have something to say, just say it and go. But don't ask me why I feel the way I do because that's something I'm yet to figure out."

Jungwon was at a loss for words. He stood there, gaping at you like an open-mouthed fish before turning on his heel and exiting through your bedroom door. You heard your mother yelp on seeing him, probably wondering where he had shown up from. A part of you wished that he hadn't left, but the other was glad that he was gone. You felt like a fool for letting all of this happen. You should have never agreed to this dare. Who would have thought it would lead to something like this? There was nothing you could do now. There was no way you could change the way you felt. Because at the end of the day, it was as clear as ever, that you were undeniably in love with your best friend Yang Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 6 ☀︎

Jungwon couldn't stop thinking about everything you had told him yesterday. He would never have imagined that you would catch feelings, especially through such a childish dare. Your friends had called you out to the park again today, but Jungwon wasn't going to go. He knew you wouldn't be there so there was no point. He wished he could tell you that he hadn't meant half the things he'd said about the kiss at the grove that day. He was just trying to show you that the kiss hadn't made him feel some type of way. Not just that, but he was also attempting to persuade himself that he indeed had loathed it. Maybe he should have been truthful instead of lying about it.

This was exactly what he'd been afraid of. Jungwon was always fond of you. He cared for you and he wouldn't lie when he said that he loved you. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he felt that way because he thought of you as more than a friend. Jungwon didn't want to convince himself that he liked you just because you had confessed to him. He wanted to understand the way he truly felt about you.

He knew every little thing about you. No one knew you as well as he did. Jungwon cherished your friendship and the time he spent with you. Whenever anything bugged him, he always came to you, knowing that you were the only person who could make things better. He relied on you more than anyone else. He couldn't go a day without speaking to you. After yesterday, he realized how important you were to him. The fear of losing you ate at him the longer he stayed away from you.

Jungwon hated knowing that you were sad. It hurt more to know that he was the reason behind it. He wanted nothing more than to hug you and apologize for making you feel bad. He felt guilty for everything he had done. It had only been a couple hours since he had last spoken to you, but it felt longer. He missed you so much.

So he left you a text, asking you to meet him at your secret spot. He kept his phone close, waiting till you replied. But you didn't. You probably wanted nothing to do with him. Nonetheless, he still hoped and prayed that you would give him one last chance to make things right again. He couldn't afford to lose someone as special as you. There was nothing for him if he didn't have you.

~

☀︎ DAY 7 ☀︎

Jungwon laid in the grass, staring at the dull sky above. It was filled with clouds, hiding the sun. The grove felt so big and endless when he was alone. When he was with you, it was much more cozy and bright, even if the atmosphere was gloomy.

He had been waiting for you for quite a long time now. You hadn't replied to his message last night, but he knew you had seen it. Just before he was about to lose hope, he heard the grass crunch a few feet away from him. Jungwon didn't have to look to know it was you. No one else knew the path to get here.

"What do you want," you asked, voice small but laced with malice. You were cross with him. Jungwon wished to change that today. He patted the space next to him. "Let's not pretend like we hate each other. You could do the worst thing to me but I'd still admire you."

You didn't argue and sat down beside him. Other than the tension in the air, everything felt normal. There was a scowl on your face. It must have taken a lot of convincing for you to come here. Jungwon needed to get to the point.

"I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't even mean half of those things."

You scoffed. "Oh really? They sounded pretty heartfelt to me."

Jungwon sat up. "I was just trying to enforce the idea that I wasn't into you, on myself," he revealed, hoping that you would forgive him. "And being a dick was the only way you could do that? Jungwon, you weren't the only one who was attempting to suppress their feelings," you refuted.

"I know y/n. And it's my fault for not realizing sooner," he admitted, hanging his head. You sighed and shook your head. "This is so immature. I can't believe we're letting a stupid dare get in the middle of our friendship."

Jungwon chuckled darkly. "Maybe it's a sign that our friendship has run its course."

You turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Jungwon smiled. "I gave it some thought yesterday. We're both attempting to be in denial of our feelings. Obviously, that isn't working out. If it wasn't for this dare, they would've remained buried deep down somewhere. But I guess you could say everything happens for a reason." He took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. "I never realized how much I loved this feeling until I had to go a whole two days without it."

You couldn't even hide your smile. "Where is this going Jungwon?"

"Maybe we should give this a chance. Give us a chance. Who knows? It could turn out the be the best thing that's ever happened to us," he said, meeting your eyes.

"And what if it doesn't? We would be throwing so many years of friendship away."

Jungwon shook his head. "How long are we supposed to contradict how we truly feel about each other? That would take a heavier toll on us."

You laughed, squeezing his hand. "It doesn't hurt to try I guess."

Jungwon beamed. "That's the spirit!" It felt nice to see you smiling at him again. He was grateful for that. It was funny how a large part of his mood depended on you. If you were happy, he was happy. If you were sad, he was sad. His entire world revolved around you, and Jungwon knew the best thing to do was strengthen that bond.

"So, will you be my girlfriend," he asked, smiling cheekily. You bit your lip, looking at him through your lashes. "Of course I will."

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Please let me know how you found it! Thank you so much!

[lythea-creation]

Always By Your Side - Mikasa Ackerman x fem reader

summary: Mikasa always runs off to protect Eren. Little does she know that you're actually doing the same for her.

warnings: injuries, death of soldiers, just aot

word count: 2.108

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

----------

Eren Yeager. This was the name of the person I despised the most. Pretty ironic as his two best friends were also mine, although I considered one of them more than just a friend.

I did not just hate him because he was usually screaming around and behaving like the king of our god forsaken world.

Of course it was annoying, but I could have lived with that if he actually was that strong. In reality his child play was nothing but an illusion. Deep down he knew that he was not almighty and despite having the guts to follow his ideals, he easily drowned in self-pity when he realized that his will and his power did not overlap enough to success.

The problem with that was that he carelessly jumped into every dangerous situation which led Armin and Mikasa and in the end also me to follow him into misery.

Mikasa was the one who used to save Eren's ass whenever he failed. That was the true reason I despised him. If Mikasa might not be able to save him one day it would kill her, either physically or mentally and I could not bear that. So I gave my best to help and support her.

Frustratingly my strength was not sufficient to protect her completely. Today had proven that once again.

“How's Mikasa doing?”, Hannes' voice ripped me out of my depressing thoughts.

“Her injuries aren't severe, although I fear a concussion”, Armin declared.

I was sitting beside him and holding his hand as our eyes were fixated on the unconscious Mikasa.

Only a few minutes ago Reiner and Berthold had turned out to be the Armored and Colossal Titan and captured Eren and Ymir. In the fight many of us had been injured.

I had some burn wounds myself, but nothing that limited me much.

What bothered me more was the overwhelming guilt inside of me. I had not been able to reach Mikasa in time.

“You two didn't eat anything yet, did you?”, Hannes addressed Armin and me. “I'll get you something.”

We shook our heads.

“You should eat something”, he insisted and placed his hands on our heads.

After he had left, my gaze wandered over to the other badly injured.

What were we supposed to do now?

Hanji was unconscious, unable to give us any orders.

The horses were trapped on the other side of the walls.

I knew that Mikasa would be furious when she found out that nobody was following the titan shifters. But it was pointless. Right now there was nothing we could do but wait.

When I woke up Mikasa was sitting at the edge of the wall hugging her knees. Apparently I had been more exhausted than I had wanted to admit.

“Oh, (f/n)! You're awake”, Armin greeted me relieved.

I sent him a small smile before moving over to Mikasa. I saw tears in the corner of her eyes.

“Mikasa? I'm sorry”, I whispered getting her attention.

Her eyes locked on mine for a moment before looking ahead again. “It wasn't your fault. I wasn't able to protect him and now over five hours have passed”, she mumbled.

I inched closer to her and hugged her arm to comfort her and probably also myself.

I hated seeing her like this. If Eren was the one making her happy, I had to get him back no matter what.

“Ah, Mikasa, you're awake”, Hannes' noticed as he approached us and threw something toward us: field rations.

He started talking about the old times and reminded us that Eren would resist and wait for us to help him. His words seemed to work as Armin and Mikasa appeared confident instead of depressed now.

After eating we stood up and waited for the horse elevators to arrive.

Soon later we were on the way toward the forest where Hanji had assumed the titan shifters to rest until night.

I was behind Mikasa together with Jean and Hannes, Armin beside her.

After a while we had to give up on the Long-Distance Enemy Scouting Formation and gather.

The forest was right in front of us, but we were surrounded by titans. Especially the military police had difficulties with that as they was not used to move outside the walls.

We split into two groups evading the titans in front of us and switched over to our ODM Gears as soon as we reached the trees.

Our group also split up to increase our chance of finding Eren and the others. But just as we moved into different directions a scream of a titan erupted.

Without hesitation we approached the source of the scream discovering that it had come from the titan form of Ymir.

We thought that she had escaped Reiner and Berthold until Christa ended up in her mouth.

Unfortunately she was faster than our ODM Gear and as soon as the forest ended she jumped onto the transformed Reiner.

How were we supposed to catch up with them now?

We jumped back onto our horses and quickly rode ahead.

I watched Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie and Sasha move up to Reiner, Ymir, Berthold and Eren, but Hannes stopped me from doing the same. “There's more than one way to protect and support them!”, he shouted.

Far ahead I spotted something that made me anxious. If I could detect them from my spot, they had to be titans.

They were approaching us at a rapid pace and were led by Commandant Erwin. What was he thinking?

After a while Hannes instructed the others to jump down, what they did as soon as they evaluated the situation.

Last second we managed to evade the titans, but the titan shifters were not that lucky and soon surrounded.

But we scouts were not made to stand by and watch. Hesitation was not an option, when our Commandant ordered us to attack.

Reiner had to take his hands away from Berthold and Eren to save them. This was our chance to get him back, but no matter where my eyes were locked on, there was always a titan.

Commandant Erwin instructed us to move forward and use our chance motivating us to continue, although his arm was trapped between the teeth of a titan.

One soldier switched over to his ODMG to save Erwin while we rode into the direction of countless titans.

I heard many around us die, but forced myself to concentrate on my goal of somehow following Mikasa who was evading one titan after another.

When I arrived I saw Berthold dodging her attack.

To my horror Mikasa fell right into the hand of a titan earning a scream of pain from her.

Everything faded from my perception as my body moved on its own and killed the titan.

I caught Mikasa mid-air and landed with her on my horse. “Are you alright?”, I worried.

“Thanks. It's nothing”, she claimed, though I heard the pain in her voice.

Before I could do anything, she jumped off the horse again to catch the falling Eren.

I would never stand a chance against him. I had known that from the beginning, but being confronted with it again and again, hurt.

The titans did not stop attacking me of course. So I was not able to focus on Mikasa.

Reiner had started throwing titans meaning Mikasa and Eren had to be behind us. Otherwise he would not be trying to stop us.

But was it not too risky to throw them at us? After all Eren could get eaten as well.

Here and there I was able to save the life of a military police soldier. Ironic that they had been the best of their year only to die in a real situation while I was still alive and even saved some of them without being under the top ten.

“Eren! Mikasa!” Armin's scream distracted me almost at the risk of my life as I barely dodged the attack of a titan.

As much as I wanted to help Mikasa. I could not do that if I was dead.

When the titan in front of me dropped to the ground I saw Hannes flying over to Eren and Mikasa.

I heard Armin screaming and holding an unconscious Jean. They were defenseless. I had to trust Hannes and help my best friend.

Eren's scream startled me and made me miss my target.

I cut off the titan's hand right before he could get a grip of Armin.

In the distance I saw that no one was flying around the titan in front of Eren and Mikasa anymore. Another titan was approaching them as well. Was it all over now?

It would be pointless to persuade myself that I could reach them in time when I knew painfully well that it was impossible. And even if I could … would I be willing to let Armin and Jean die to save Eren and Mikasa? Why did I even have to think about such cruel decisions?

Suddenly another scream of Eren erupted.

The titan in front of me stopped moving before running toward the source of the noise like all the other titans.

Had Eren just saved us? Dammit! How had the situation escalated like that?

“Armin? Are you alright?” I concentrated back on what was important right now.

“Yeah. Thanks to you. But Jean ...”

“Is he ...?” I did not dare to finish my sentence.

“He's alive”, Armin assured me.

I nodded and whistled hoping to get one or more horses.

To my relief it worked.

I took Jean from Armin's arms and helped him to get Jean with him onto the horse.

Then I got onto one myself and took another one with me for Eren.

When I arrived next to the duo, Eren was carrying Mikasa on his back.

“Eren!”, I made him aware of me and extended my hand to get Mikasa on my horse.

When Eren simply stared at me I requested him to hurry. After all we did not know how long the titans would concentrate on Reiner and Berthold.

Eren put Mikasa behind me and got onto the other horse.

I moved Mikasa's hands to my waist and reminded her to hold on.

She rested her head on my back and embraced me tightly making me blush.

Luckily no one paid attention to it as they were too busy with escaping.

Back inside the walls Eren took Mikasa off my horse.

I followed them silently to the infirmary.

As soon as Mikasa's wounds had been treated Armin joined us. “Eren. Commandant Erwin wants to see you.”

The two boys left Mikasa and me alone as I promised them to watch over her.

Mikasa's hand gently touched my burned cheek. “You should get a treatment yourself.”

“I'm fine”, I assured her with a smile and placed my hand over hers. “I'm sorry that I wasn't fast and strong enough. I failed you two times in one day”, I recalled disappointed.

Her face displayed confusion as her hand left my face. “What do you mean? You saved my life.”

“And let you get hurt”, I reminded her.

“When did saving me become your job?”, she questioned with a soft scowl.

I averted her eyes. “It's not your job to protect Eren either, is it? But you still do it because you love him”, I stated.

My gaze moved over to her for a second and I immediately noticed her blush.

She hid her face in her scarf. “I just don't want to lose him. He's the only family I've left”, she admitted.

“I know.” I sighed. “Just don't forget that I'm here, okay? I promise you that I won't run away or leave you behind. No matter what it is, if it makes you happy, I'll help you with it”, I swore to both of us.

“Eren always rushes away from me and I can do nothing but follow if I don't want to give him up. It hurt me and still does. I never realized I did the same with you”, Mikasa proclaimed and took my hand.

That made me face her again giving me the possibility to adore her smile.

“Thank you, (f/n). For not giving up on me.”

Before I could overthink it I kissed her.

Countless emotions exploded inside of me when she actually kissed me back.

After a while she pulled back with soft eyes and a loving smile. “Please never stop staying by my side.”

[ff-imagines]

Can i request some nsfw headcanons for mantis shrimp? I read through your blog and let me just say: I'm a big fan. Btw if you dont wanna do them thats fine as well

Salt and pepper shrimp: nsfw alphabet

I did the whole alphabet bc? Why not! Side note I rly wanna write a fic going off my thoughts ab his experience level >:)

A - aftercare

Look, getting him to release you from his hold to go to the bathroom on a regular night is a battle enough. After sex? Phew I wish you luck. Might wanna just put some water on your night stand beforehand. You would be able to convince him to take a bath with you pretty easily though, he likes how the warm water feels very much. Make sure to cuddle him in the bath still, he's in a very vulnerable state right now and he really needs some good old tlc.

B- body parts

he’s got a weird fixation with your hands. He likes to compare hand sizes, whether your hands are bigger or smaller isn’t what he likes, he just likes to admire them. He loves sucking/biting your fingers while he’s got you in his lap. Lacing your fingers with his with one hand while bringing the other to his cheek, nuzzling into your hand while he bounces you on his cock.

On himself, there is tragically little that he genuinely likes. He views himself as a weapon, getting him to unlearn that will not be an easy process, trust me, Boston has tried. Complimenting his eyes does seem to make him a little more flustered than other praises, and he has a hard time staring you in the eye during sex…. maybe we can start there.

C - cum

His cum is pretty thin but there’s a shit ton of it. Enough that if he cums inside you swear you can feel the warmth as his cock pours rope and rope of his seed into you.

He doesn’t actually care where he cums, just ask him and he’ll comply.

inside you? sounds good.

On your back? Say less.

On the floor? You’re cleaning it, but sure.

He did discover he’s got an affinity for watching his cum on your tongue. I don’t know how you’d be able to swallow it all, but any attempt you make will be met with shrimp getting hard all over again.

D - dirty secret

He secretly thinks it’d be really hot for you to dom him. It’s gonna take a very long time before he’s comfortable letting you have that Linda control over him, just the thought of being tied up, hands behind his back while you praise him for being such a good boy, its a fantasy he’s visited on many sleepless nights.

E - experience

Nope. Nada. To be frank, I think he’s the definition of Demisexual, and he has yet to meet anyone besides Boston and the anti-human gang who he genuinely wants to get to know better. He definitely hasn’t met anyone who wants to get to know better for romantic reasons.

He doesn’t know enough about human customs to know that it can be embarrassing for someone to be inexperienced, but he does feel very very nervous the first few times. He’ll need a lot of reassurance, give him praise and he’s putty in your hands.

F - favorite position

I'm gonna be boring and say missionary. It’s simple, easy, and since he’s brand new to all of this it’s the least mentally overstimulating. He very much likes that he can see your face.

If he’s feeling extra spicy he might grab onto the inside of your knees and push you into the mating press, though he really only does this if he’s upset or jealous.

If you ask nicely he might let you sit in his lap, as a treat. Bouncing on his cock as he litters your chest with bite marks, what a treat it is <3

G - goofy

…. yea for sure definitely. He’s a real jokester.

On a serious note, he himself is not a goofy person whatsoever, but he would actually like it if you were. Outright making fun of him or harsh teasing is an immediate turn off, but light jokes to ease his nerves is for sure welcomed since he’s very tense the first few times.

Give him time and you might even catch him cracking a small joke himself, all the while giving you a weak, nervous smile.

H- hair

He doesn’t trim or shave anything lmao. He’s busy, and also doesn’t care literally at all. He’s got a thin happy trail that can be easy to miss since he's blonde.

He’s got the same energy with your body hair, he doesn’t care. If you do shave he might ask why, just out of curiosity. If your reason is insecurity, he’ll probably suggest you let it grow, he doesn’t care and he’s the only one who’ll ever see it lmao

I- intimacy

It’s an awkward “i hope to fuck I’m doing this right” kind of intimacy. He fumbles and messes up a lot, he might even accidentally miss when thrusting and end up just kinda rubbing himself on you but he’s really trying. Just from the fact he’s willing to try this at all with you is a big sign that he’s really trying his best to be as intimate as he can with you.

J- jerk off

Before meeting you, not a lot actually. He mostly just did it if he ever woke up from a wet dream and knew that if he didn’t take care of it now he’d never be able to get back to sleep.

After your first time together, his first time, he thinks back the immeasurable pleasure a lot, finding himself in need of relief a lot more than he ever did before. You are the catalyst to his drive, and you are also the only thing he can think about that can help him cum. It’s kinda sweet in a perverted way.

K- Kinks

He will bite you. It’s just so easy to bruise you and it makes your relationship status to others so obvious, he can’t just… not bite you.

Marking, going along with the biting kink. This goes both ways, he’d love for you to scratch at his back enough to leave red marks, to bite as his collarbone, grip his hips tight enough to bruise. He likes looking at the marks later, they remind him that he did good, he made you feel good, that’s all he really wants.

He doesn’t exactly have a breeding kink as much as this goes along with the marking aspect. Suggest to him that he cum deep inside you to mark your insides… he might give you 2-3 loads just to make sure you're nice and full, completely claimed.

He also kinda likes to make you cry. Overstimulating you to the point of tears gives him a sense of pride he hasn’t really felt before.

He really likes temperature play as well, dragging ice cubes and hot wax across your skin and watching you flinch and squirm just does something to him.

And of course, light bondage. He probably found out it was a thing after reading some kinda erotic fiction and immediately went to you like “why did you not tell me about this?????” He adores how to look all tied up and stuck, right in the palm of his hands. It makes him feel emotional as well, that you’re willing to give him such a powerful amount of control over you.

Last but not least, please praise him. During sex as well as day to day. Let him know he’s so pretty, he’s doing so good, he’s cock feels so so good, he might cum on the spot.

L- location

The first time he’d really need it to be in a secluded, safe area. He’s gotta feel comfy if he’s gonna get into the mood.

Every other time? Babes you’ve awakened a beast, he’ll get random spikes of “if I don’t at least try to fuck them I will scream”. You could be in the middle of a forest running from an axe wielding murderer and this horny bastard would still find a way to pull you aside and rail you against a tree.

There most likely isn’t a spot in your home that he hasn’t fucked you against.

Peaceful moment of washing dishes? Think again, he’s plopping you on the kitchen counter and diving to mouth at your neck.

Writing some papers? Just sit on his lap, you’ll feel much less stressed with his cock buried to the hilt, won’t you?

Doing laundry? Might have to rewash them cause now he’s using the clothes as a bed to fuck you on. He’ll apologize and help you fold them after they’re rewashed bc he feels bad lmao

M- motivation

Like I said, he’s set off by the smallest things. A little stretch, wiping some water off on your pants, humming a song, all of it can randomly make him feel the need to fuck you.

The most intense and quickest way to rile him up is either playing with his hair, or massaging his back. It starts out innocent but he just can’t take the thought of your pretty hands working so lovingly and not at least trying to reciprocate and make you feel good too.

N- no

No sharing. He doesn’t want someone else to see you, and he doesn’t want someone else to see him. It’s just not something he likes.

He also hates humiliation. He… would tolerate it if you asked for it, even if he doesn’t get why you’d want him to outright insult you. But for himself? Fuck no, he hates it so fuckin much. He’s a sensitive insecure puppy that wants your attention very badly, pls don’t hurt him like that :(

O- oral

Oh please give him oral. He’s begging. Well, he’d never outright beg but the way his eyes fixate on your mouth a lot is his way of silently pleading for you to wrap your lips around his cock. His soul ascends a little every time he sees his cum dribbling down your face, he might be even willing to make out with his cum still on your tongue.

As for giving, he’s got no clue what the hell he’s doing but he’s nervously eager to try. Guide him as best you can, he’s good at measuring your reactions so he can handle the rest. Tug on his hair a little bit if you wanna drive him crazy.

He’ll get a lot better with time, his eagerness to please however, does not leave him in the slightest.

P- pace

The first time? Slow and unsure, then he realizes “oh fuck this feels stupid good” and his pace becomes almost punishing. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s unknowingly going deeper and harder than you've ever been dicked down in your life. If you want him to, somehow, go harder? Grab his hand and place it over your stomach to make him feel his cock enter you through your skin, his hand slides down to grip your hips and slams into you, wiggling his hips without withdrawing to gain some of his sanity back before he’s back to a punishing pace.

Q- quickies

Oh hell yea. He lives for them. Sudden moments of horniness come to him all the time and since this spike in desire is brand new, he hasn’t really… learned to live with it yet. He pulls you aside into closets and alleyways all the time, he can’t help that you feel so warm and snug :(

R- risk

He doesn’t exactly enjoy the thought of a voyeur, he really doesn’t want to share you with anyone. But… there is a deeper part of him that finds a sense of pride if someone were to hear you getting absolutely pounded by him, desperately crying out and whining for him to go deeper, even better if they were someone who pined for you….

S- stamina

Well, to be frank he cums pretty quickly. It’s all so brand new to him, he really can’t help it. Lucky for you, his refractory time is crazy low. He can cum once, watch you do some mindless motion you always do and he’s right back to being hard again in minutes.

T- toys

Not against it, but is again, brand new to all this shit. He’s very interested in using your own toys against you though. Would definetly use a vibrater to edge and overstim you. He’d be interested in a cock ring, only if you were willing to endure a vibrator while he fucks you, he doesn’t wanna be the only one struggling lmao

U- unfair

He can be, yea. He kinda likes edging you, but not as much as he likes overstimulating you.

He loves to hear how you beg under him when he’s pulling you so close to the edge, keeping you just far enough to drive you insane.

Overstimming though? The way you twitch and beg, how your chest heaves and your mouth hangs open into a silent scream, eyes shut tight and watering, now that’s the good shit.

V- volume

Doesn’t talk much, but for sure gives out a lot of groans. This is something he’s never felt before in his life, the first few times you're going to get a lot of whines and surprised yelps, check up on him and make sure he’s still doing alright, he’s just very nervous.

As he gets more comfortable, he gives you quiet praises and promises to make you feel good. He also groans quite a lot, but since his voice is deeper it can be hard to catch.

W- wild card

He really wants to try using his prosthetic arm for temperature play, he’s just not at all confident in himself enough to bring it up. He likes the thought of you jumping and squirming under his touch, for now he can just stick to wax play.

X- X Ray

Mans is actually pretty fuckin big. He’s got no idea how big he is though. If you were surprised and a little nervous about his size he’d be pretty confused, is there something wrong? Did you change your mind? The concept of him being well above average is something you’ll have to explain later. It boosts his ego quite bit, even if he’d never admit it.

Whine about him being too big and you can just see the pride swelling in his chest, giving you no mercy with his thrusts.

Y- yearning

Often. Very very often. He’d fuck you multiple times every day if he had the time. However, you’re both busy, and you’d probably get a UTI with how many times this man wants to dick you down lmao. He’s got his cock buried in you at least 4-5 times a week.

Z- zzz

Actually pretty quickly. Even if he prefers being in control during sex, he kinda likes being the little spoon as he drifts to sleep. Give him some soft praises about how well he did and he’s turning into jello in your hold.

[straymackerel]

Tara!!! Congratulations on 500 followers!!! You're so talented and I'm so excited to see you gain many more ❤️❤️❤️ Can I request number 20. kilig please with Aku? Love you lots!!!

akutagawa + kilig (tagalog, n.) the feeling of being intoxicated by the idea of love; romantic exhilaration.

➽─{anything for mu mu!!! awe love you too AHHH! have some mafia!reader 🖤}─❥

A lone wolf has no interest in companionship: no want, no need. Akutagawa has always distanced himself from the rest of the Port Mafia pack, taking quiet pride in his self-reliance and self-containment. He stalks away mid-conversation; he ignores any and all acquaintances as he passes them by. He eats his meals alone on the HQ rooftops and he gives his subordinates busywork when they get too friendly with him. Yet, the wolf eventually grew a certain longing for intimacy; he began to waver in the presence of another.

There was no immediate realization for him—the way you infiltrated his thoughts was, more than anything, a plunge into abject confusion. Unable to fathom how you came to occupy his headspace, he took to his usual defenses: avoidance, withdrawal, dismissiveness. But even as your time together lessened, he started to think upon you more. Nothing seemed to ease this unnatural fixation of his. 

Akutagawa is used to being feared by others, so why is it that his heart skips a beat when you’re near? Akutagawa is wedded to his independence and solitude, so why is it that his hackles raise when you and your teammates get along a little too well? He can’t quite put a finger on the reason why, but his stomach flutters when you smile or wave hi at him... even though he never reciprocates. He finds himself watching you from afar, even when he’s trying his hardest to stay away.

“You’re describing a crush,” Gin had said that morning, to which he scoffed. Is that all it is? Just a fleeting infatuation, the type a grade schooler might catch?

“I don’t take stock in such trivialities.” 

“Then turn it into something real,” she shot back with an air of nonchalance. 

Her casualness paid off—Akutagawa didn’t want to admit it, but he really liked the sound of that. His mind flickered through many a touch starved fantasy; he imagined your hands running through his hair, his arm wrapped around the small of your back. A touch of the cheek, a playful pat on the head. It slowly started to come together: the alien discomfort, the unfamiliar jealousy, the surreal warmth of it all. He could either tame it himself or let it swallow him whole. And there is absolutely no room in Akutagawa’s life for pointless distraction.

Can you hear my heart pounding?

The end of the working day is met with much anticipation by Akutagawa, who hurries through the building in search of you. He makes no stops as he nears your desk, a spot he’s avoided for months on end. The mafioso creeps up behind you without meaning to, drawing closer to you than ever before. Of course you startle when he suddenly clears his throat. You turn to find his face mere inches away, but he gives you little time to react.

“You cannot speak to anyone about this. Do I make myself clear?” His voice is stern, but it lacks aggression.

“What is it, Akutagawa?” you ask, surprised. His cheeks flush, eyes averting under your curious gaze; and for a split second, you can swear that a smile meets his lips.

“Meet me in front of this building, tomorrow at eight. I’m taking you to dinner.”

[freakynct]

「 𝐒𝐔𝐁 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 」

— 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

"hi baby, happy birthday." you smiled warmly at the computer camera in front of you, a very grainy image of taeyong sitting in his hotel room being displayed on the screen.

"hi, thank you." you could see that the small smile he gave you wasn't genuine. it felt like he wanted to smile but couldn't. something was clearly bothering him.

"why do you look so sad? is everything ok?" you asked, your eyes getting a bit closer to the screen, trying to decipher his facial expressions.

"no, nothing's ok." you noticed his lips forming a small pout as he spinned from side to side on his chair.

"what's going on, tell me." you tried to remain calm but you couldn't hide the concern in your voice. being so far away from taeyong was already hard, but knowing that he wasn't ok was even worse.

"you're not here." his eyes kept looking down, facing away from the computer and you sighed in relief, realized that the problem wasn't as big as he made it seem.

"but i'm here now, baby. look at me." your voice softened up and you watched as he slowly raised his gaze at you, the pout still adorning his plump lips that you missed so much.

"no, you're not actually here. i can't even touch you. and it's my birthday." his voice was so soft that you could barely hear him through the distorted sound of the computer, his fingers playing around with some random object he had found on the desk.

"don't be sad, tae. we'll be together in a few days." you shot him a small smile but he still seemed upset. he was always like this, stubborn, and it was always hard to change his mind, specially when he was feeling down.

"but i'm horny now." he crossed his arms in front of his chest and spinned around in his chair until you could only see the back of it and you didn't need to see taeyong to know that his cheeks were burning at this moment, even if he didn't care about being shameless.

"ohhh, so you're feeling needy. that's the problem." you chuckled and he would still not turn around, probably too embarrassed to look at you after confessing exactly what was bothering him. you rested back on the bed, letting the pillows swallow your body between them and you bit on your bottom lip, enjoying the situation a little too much. "are you hard, baby?" he slowly turned to the side, his cute doe eyes looking innocently at the camera and he nodded his head without saying a word. "you brought your toys with you?" he looked around him for a second as if thinking about his answer and his eyes looked at you once again, lifting up his index finger in the air.

"just one." he answered, calmly. his voice alone could send you over the edge. you never quite figured how such an innocent looking boy could be so dirty.

"the metal beaded one?" you smirked looking at the boy in front of you. you knew that was his favorite toy and he was guilty of bringing it to every single trip he made. it was also the toy that made him moan the loudest, so it was a plus for you too. he nodded his head again and you motioned your head to him.

"go get it, baby." you suddenly started to notice how his eyes got a little wider, his cheeks turning into a slight pink color and he started to avoid looking at the camera, not moving from his seat. "what's wrong?" you asked. he was normally very excited whenever it was time to play but he was acting different now. suddenly he reached his hand forward, grabbing something off the desk, and as he raised it up to show you what it was, you couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"i already have it here." he confessed, his eyes still not being able to properly look at you, even if you weren't actually standing there with him.

"aw baby, you already had it ready next to you? you're such a naughty boy." you watched as his fingers shyly played with beaded dildo, his cheeks burning in embarrassment but he couldn't hide the little smirk forming on the corner of his mouth. "wanna show mommy how hard you are?" you felt the burning feeling inside you travelling straight to your core as his eyes sparkled back at you, his little teeth digging into his bottom lip, feeling his cock twitching in his pants and you swore you heard a small whimper coming from his mouth. 

taeyong nodded his head slightly before getting up and sliding his pajama shorts down, his cock red and leaking onto his stomach, covered by the big sweater he still had on. he sat back down on his chair and smiled nervously. it didn't matter how many times he had exposed himself to you, it always felt like the first time to him and just as exciting.

"no underwear?" you raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled, his head tilting to the side as he looked down, his fingers pinching the base of his cock. "look at your tiny little cock all swollen. you're leaking everywhere, baby." you heard him whimper as he ran his finger over the tip of his cock, collecting the precum and running it down his length. his hand wrapped around it, almost covering his whole cock, only the very top shining through his fingers and he started stroking himself slowly, throwing his head back into the chair, his eyes fixated on you, so desperate and needy. "baby, you know you're gonna cum if you keep going and mommy hasn't even seen your little hole yet. don't you wanna play with your toy, hm?" you cooed at him, watching him bite lightly on his bottom lip as he slowly raised his legs up, placing his feet on the chair and you noticed he was wearing his cute white ankle socks, that made him look even tinier in your eyes, his ass on full display for you. taeyong was so expressive, he could never hide anything from you. even if you weren't there beside him, you could still sense his eagerness by the way his fingers lightly grazed the inside of his tights and by the way his body squirmed at the touch. his eyes scanned over the screen, waiting for your next command, the precum now spread over his sweater, glistening under the dimmed lights of the hotel room.

"you're so pretty." you sighed. the feeling of not being there with him starting to taunt you and making you feel impatient. you almost gasped as you watched taeyong bring his middle finger to his mouth, sucking slowly on it and keeping eye contact with the camera, knowing exactly how much that drives you crazy. his hand reached down until the digit was circling his hole, and you could tell how hard he was trying to not close his eyes from the pleasure, his eyelids falling mid way as he played with himself.

"mommy…" you hear him gasp the word for the first time and it was like you had just had a little orgasm from it, your core tingling from arousal and feeling a small poll forming in your panties.

"yes, taetae?" you responded, your own fingers traveling down your stomach and settling between your legs, brushing ever so slightly over your covered slit.

"can i put it in? please?" he sounded so precious asking for permission. he was always such a good boy for you, never did anything without making sure it was ok with you, even if he didn't have to.

"of course you can, baby." your eyes scanned the screen as his digit starts to slide inside him, teasingly slow, a soft moan escaping from his plump lips that were now parted and swollen from all of the biting he had done. you watched as his legs shook a little as he inserted the whole finger inside and this time he really couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

"can you touch your little cock too? for mommy?" you said softly, your fingers working over your panties, circling your clit slowly, feeling the burning sensation inside you grow more intense, your mouth letting out a soft gasp. you watched his hand, half covered by the sleeves of his sweater, wrapped around his shaft, working up and down and inviting more of the precum to drip down over his lap, some of it working as lubricant, making it easier for taeyong to thrust his finger faster inside of him. his whiny moans ecooed through the speakers and you could feel yourself dripping more and more, to the point that you could feel it through your panties. you noticed his cock twitch in his hand as he stroked himself faster and you knew it was only a matter of time until he was coming undone.

"mommy… i feel like i'm gonna cum." he whimpered, his lips creating a small pout as he looked down at his cock and then back to you and it was so evident how fucked out he was.

"then cum, baby. you can cum." as soon as you said those words, taeyong threw his head back so hard that you thought he might just fall from the chair, but instead you saw the cum leak out of him in spurts, a louder moan escaping his lips and his movements started slowing down until he was removing his finger. he gasped for air, his eyes opening slowly to sparkle back at you but you couldn't help but notice how his hand still moved on his cock.

"you're still hard? want more?" you smirked at him and he licked his lips, eagerly nodding his head and sitting up in his chair just to reach for the toy that seated on top of the desk, waiting to be used. he leaned back again, with his feet on the chair and smeared the cum that had fallen in his hand, all over the beaded dildo.

"mommy taught you well." you chuckled and he shyly smiled back at you before lining up the toy with his hole, starting to slide it inside. "just the tip, baby." you told him and you watched him frown his eyebrows at you.

"but mommy…" he whined, fighting the urge to insert the whole thing inside but you just tsked him.

"no buts. do as mommy says." he looked at you through his lashes, completely defeated, starting to thrust just the tip inside as you had told him. "good boy." you breathed out, your fingers still working over your clit, your panties now pushed to the side. his sweater paws reached for his cock again, stroking lightly until he heard you again through the speakers. "no touching, baby." this ripped a whine from him. but even if he complained a lot, taeyong could never disobey you. he just couldn't. he craved to be your good little boy and he wouldn't let anything ruin that image. he retrieved his hand, his cock twitching against nothing and for a minute you pitied him. his lips were parted, his eyes hooded from pleasure, his hand stopping himself from thrusting more inside and his cock red and swollen, begging for release. who were you to deny such a pretty and obedient boy what he wanted so bad? 

"go ahead, taetae. fuck yourself with the toy, no more teasing." his eyes widened and you swore you almost saw a little tear shining on the corner of his eye.

"can i, mommy?" he asked, his cute voice sending waves of pleasure through your body that hit your core unexpectedly and intensely, making your own moans fall softly from your mouth.

"yes, baby. mommy wants to see how much your tiny little hole can take." his teeth sank on his bottom lip as he thrusted the rest of the toy inside, moving it in and out slowly, getting used to the sensation of feeling completely full.

"are you touching yourself, mommy?" he gasped, his head rested back in his chair, hair messy from rubbing his head so much and his eyes glued to the screen.

"yes. you make mommy feel so good, baby. even if you're not here." your fingers worked faster on your clit, a moan escaping between words.

"i wanna see you." he simply said, his hand thrusting the dildo faster inside, as if he was matching his movements with yours. you placed the laptop in front of you on the bed, the camera pointing straight at where your fingers moved and you heard taeyong whimper, his cock twitching at the image displayed in front of him.

"you like seeing mommy touch herself? hm?" he eagerly nodded his head, the pace at which he moved the toy almost working as a response to your question. "such a naughty little boy. my naughty little boy." you moaned as you felt your orgasm approaching, knowing that it wouldn't take long for taeyong to cum too, his movements getting sloppy and fast, a sticky mess over his tummy. 

"mommy…" he whined, his eyelids covering half is his eyes that he so desperately tried to keep open. you rubbed your clit faster, the burning feeling inside you growing bigger and as soon as you saw taeyong cuming untouched, your own orgasm washed over you, your body shaking at the feeling. you watched his tiny cock twitch against his tummy, spurts of white liquid spreading all over his sweater, almost reaching his face as he squirmed and moaned in his chair, his legs shaking as the toy stood still inside him, his hole clenching around it.

"you're such a good baby." you praised, his cheeks flushed red as he removed the dildo and let it fall to the ground, his chest raising up and down as he tried to catch his breath. "you hadn't touched yourself yet, did you? you came so much." you smirked as you pulled the laptop over your lap again and he shook his head, a little "no" escaping from his lips, his eyes looking shyly at you as he let his legs fall limp, his cock still swollen and glistening. "you made such a mess, taetae." he nervously bit on his bottom lip, looking down at his sweater where all of his cum had accumulated, the fabric stained and sticky.

"sorry mommy." he pouted as his gaze lifted up to meet yours and you gave him a warm smile.

"it's ok, baby. just clean yourself and get some sleep ok? it's already late there." he nodded his head slightly, pulling his chair closer to the desk so that he could also be closer to the camera, his doe eyes staring back at you.

"i wish i could kiss you." he murmured and you noticed how he was looking slightly down, at your lips, a sad expression adorning his face.

"i'll give you all of the kisses when you get back, promise. just a few more days, ok baby? i know you can do it. you're mommy's good boy, right?" you saw a smile taking the place of his frown and his face lighting up at you as he gave you one quick nod, his big brown eyes sparkling back at you.

"yes mommy, i'm your good boy."

[katsukikitten]

Part 3 please let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Part 1 ××× Part 2

Bakugou finds himself wandering around the seemingly endless house in a combination of avoiding you and giving you space. 

And truth be told he's a bit curious as to how far the house really goes. He hadn't had the opportunity to get far the first time around. Mei spying him heading towards the kitchen and steering him in the direction of the oversized dining room. 

He sighs, the halls darkened and painted in red hues from the dying sun that peeked in through the woven tatami blinds that separated the inside from the engawa. He passes by what must be one of the many bathrooms as he sees steam seeping from the door and hears children laughing on the other side, he walks further past other large rooms with the tatami sliding doors half open inviting guests into the endless darkness. 

Soon the halls are painted in the soft light of the moon. He has lost time in his deep thoughts. 

Thoughts forever leading back to you and his screaming arm. 

The funny thing is that before this trip, before you sank to your knees in front of him in the apartment, he never really had given you a second thought. The only time he did was when you made that damned ramen you bribed him with. 

So why were you all he could think about now?

Suddenly he finds himself in a familiar hallway that leads to a set of open doors, light flooding the wooden floors. He realizes too late that he is standing in the light and potentially disturbing the inhabitants or worse yet spotted by them. He takes a step back but it's too late. 

"Bakugou dear please come in." Sobo calls as Bakugou damns himself for being so careless. Company was the last thing he wanted.

But he does as he's told. Stepping into the study with new eyes, now having the time to look it over, where as before you rushed him in, forcing him to bow to not one but two strangers today. This time around he notices bookshelves that line the room closest to the door while the rest of the walls are covered with photos and awards. Famous politicians, CEOs, and heroes in each photo, each one having a younger version of her in it. 

It's uncanny how much you look like her, especially in the one standing next to a young All Might, not a hair out of place as she wears the crane kimono in the photo. Finally his eyes fall to the elderly woman who summoned him from his aimless walk.  She is sitting stick straight, eyes fixated on a set of white flower buds that gently sway in the breeze.

"Look," Her voice velvet as she points with a skinny finger, "They are blooming." 

Bakugou stays standing and grunts in response, apple red eyes fixated on the petals that seem to reflect the silvery glow of the moon as they slowly open. 

"Do you know what makes a moon flower so wonderful and awe inspiring?" Sobo asks but Bakugou does not answer. Instead he bites his lip and watches as her elderly features bloom into excitement before she speaks, "It's ability to thrive in the dark. To have so little light to work with and yet to embrace it wholeheartedly. I know there is at least one person in your life that reminds you of this flower." 

The hot head isn't sure where she is going with this...lecture of sorts. She gives him a knowing smile as the words play over in his head a few times. Sure there were a few people he could think of. 

She pulls him from his deep thoughts with a question as she places a board between herself and the empty cushion. 

"Have you ever played the game Go before Bakugou?" He has but he isn't so inclined to play. 

Playing house was enough for him this weekend. 

"No." His voice is even and his body still full of tension.  Of fight and a bit of pain from the altercation from before. 

"Come, I'll teach you." She smiles as she gestures to the seat before him. He hesitates for just a second before he thinks he hears you nagging in the back of his head. 

Reluctantly he sits on the pillow with agitated and poor posture. 

Grandmother goes over the rules slowly and Bakugou feigns interest as he is already familiar, this game was about strategy and cornering your opponent. Things he did for a living. 

 Finally she makes the first move, placing a piece onto the board, the diamond of her ring catches Bakugou's eye and he wonders how he missed that before. 

He places his own small tile, deep black bruises catching Sobo's pitying eyes. 

"I'm thankful she didn't break your arm." She places another piece and in such an odd spot. Bakugou ignores it, going head first into the game as he does everything else. 

"Believe it or not. I've seen her do worse." He counters, Sobo keeps her eyes on the board. Taking her time as she goes while Bakugou waits patiently. The pieces go back and forth as the conversation goes on. 

"It is hard to believe. My granddaughter is normally level headed. Not much gets under her skin." She gauges his reaction, noticing his facial expression changing ever so slightly, "You did us a favor. She would have never forgiven herself should she have hurt Shoji. Or worse yet kill him.  But that's not who you were protecting was it?" 

"I was acting on instinct. I'm not a pro hero for nothin." Gruff voice carrying pride into the hallway. 

"What you said wasn't." He swallows thickly at her comment, she places another piece. He can't understand her placement, if anything she was losing, backing herself into a corner of sorts.

Kinda like this conversation, still she acts as if she is in control. 

"You mentioned the house. You mentioned me. Not too many people know that her dear old Sobo is her true soft spot." 

A suck of his teeth trying to end the little bonding talk without just up and up leaving.

He was supposed to be your fiance for god's sake so he had to tolerate this just a little bit longer. 

Still it didn't help that Sobo was poking around in uncharted territory for him. It's true, he did act on instinct but his words had been carefully thought over now that he looks back on it. 

Silence blankets the room as the night wanes on, Bakugou seeming to dominate the board. 

"Are you sure you haven't played before?" Sobo had a teasing tone to which Bakugou shrugs his shoulders, leaning back on his hands for support. 

"Beginner's luck." He shrugs, devilish smile threatening to blossom on his lips. 

"That's twice you've lied to me now." She holds her tile, waiting to make a move as she reads Bakugou. Nothing gives him away, except for that sweet sugary smell permeating the air as it's carried on the light breeze. 

"You lied about playing before. And you lied about being engaged. You two aren't even dating are you?" 

Blush plumes up his neck and cheeks still he remains silent, vermillion eyes fixated on the board. 

"It's not obvious if that's what you're thinking. The two of you almost had me fooled. But I didn't see a ring.  I know she has lied about boyfriends before for my sake. And I know my granddaughter can be a handful at times but I see the way she looks at you." She pauses for a moment, wishing for Bakugou to meet her eyes, she continues when he doesn't, "and how you look at her. You already fit right in, mago." 

He looks up at her then, holding those fierce earthy eyes, she offers a soft smile. 

"You may have lied to me a few times already but I know you were telling the truth when you said you'd die for her." She finally counters Bakugou's move, ending the game in his utter surprising defeat, the light dances on the diamond of her ring catching the attention of scarlet eyes once more. He bites his lip, returning his deadly gaze to the board. He hadn't even fathomed she'd make that move, she smiles a bit mischievously motioning for Bakugou's hand. She takes his calloused hand into her wrinkled, capable hands smoothing out his warm palm and fingers until his hand is fully open. Something cool is pressed against his skin before she slides his fingers over the object, holding her hands over his. 

"Think on it." She says before she let's go, "Thank you for humoring this old woman." 

She smiles and Bakugou takes that as a dismissal. He stands, head a little hazed as he steps into the hall. 

Finally he opens his hand to reveal a ring, the very same ring that was on her finger moments ago. 

His heart pounds in his chest, leaping up into his throat before he closes his palm again.  The diamond bites into the flesh of his palm. Suddenly he is no longer curious just how far the house goes. 

He finds the shared bedroom and is thankful when he does not see you in it. He turns on the string lights and paces before he shoves the ring into his book bag. 

"What the hell is that old hag thinking?!" He snarls, fisting his ash locks. He looks around, noticing all of the small things in your room that clearly hadn't changed since you had left for UA and college. The posters of old animes, of aged jpop idols and photos of long forgotten friends and never to be forgotten family.  He sighs, almost ripping the tatami door as he slides it open.  He notices an odd and obviously old fissure snaking through the Earth, all the way to the base of the mountain. 

What made you angry enough to do this? 

The question runs through his mind over and over until he fishes out his phone video calling the only person he can semi trust his odd feelings with. They pick up with a gleaming sharp toothed smile. 

"Oi shitty hair." 

×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*×*

Mei had better have taken Bakugou and his things back to what was supposed to be his bedroom for the week. The last person you wanted to see was Bakugou.

Every second that passed between now and the incident in the dining room was washed over in tones of red and black. Furthering yourself self aimed anger as you damn yourself for not keeping control. 

What would have happened if he wasn't there to stop you? 

Would the house have caved? Would you have accidentally killed Shoji? Worse yet what would have happened to Sobo and the children. 

Still Shoji deserved the scare from both you and grandmother. 

His selfish actions costs countless unsuspecting victims their quirks. 

Your friends and Uncle Sozen among them. Mei had only just told you in the bath when you brushed off hurting Bakugou with a simple. 

"Uncle can fix him right up."

Her silence was answer enough. It would explain why he had been checking on Sobo in person more often. No longer able to activate his quirk to both heal and track people's vitals. 

Hesitating before your door you think if you should just rise early and take Bakugou back to the station first thing. 

You think of telling Sobo the truth. 

A sigh leaves your lips as you settle on an in person apology for now, which you would do as soon as you shed this tattered towel from your form and dressed. 

Little did you know the opportunity to apologize would arise so soon. 

Sliding open the familiar tatami reveals Bakugou Katsuki lying on his side on the futon, idling scrolling through his phone. 

"K..Katsuki!" You stutter, pulling the already straining towel around your thick frame. His eyes are pulled to you, the source of his annoyance before you shout out. 

"Keep your eyes closed, pervert!" 

"Aren't you the pervert for walking in here with nothing but a towel?" His tone is deadly velvet as he holds eye contact. Scarlet beginnings to drag southward. 

"Hey! Stop! Please!" He notices the blush in your cheeks that starts to bloom at the tip of your ears. He smirks to himself, shaking his head. When he closes his eyes he thinks of you on your knees again, his jaw clenches in response. 

Quickly you dig through your bag for something, anything. But you keep coming back to your lace bralette and cotton black underwear. 

You thought you would be in your old room alone. Not having some fucked up sleep over with the one roommate you were never really close with! 

But you always put yourself in fucked up situations don't you? 

You dress quickly, keeping your eyes on him as you do. He keeps his own scarlet eyes locked away behind long eyelashes. Long enough they kiss the apples of his cheeks. Body slowly going slack as he waits for you cue. Head still propped up on a strong arm while his other hand held his unlocked phone that illuminated with his social media. His lips are relaxed instead of set in their usual harsh snarl. 

He looks...different like this. 

Softer. 

Your breath hitches as your heart summersolts.

"Oi. What's wrong? How long does it take a shitty woman to get dressed." He snarls again, almost breaking the spell. When he opens his eyes he scoffs. 

"It took you that long to get dressed in next to nothing?" He bites, locking his phone and pulling his shirt over his head with one hand. 

"It's not like I was expecting company!" You hiss, his broad hands go to the waist band of his pants, "What are you doing?" 

"Getting ready for bed dumbass." Another scoff as he lifts his hips just slightly to slide his pants off of his toned legs. Your cheeks heat as you try to ignore the indentation in his boxer briefs. 

"Um can't you w..wear something else?" 

"I normally sleep naked sweetheart. So beggars can't be fucking choosers." He finally slides under the blanket of the futon and returns to his phone. Your eyes narrow, would this have gone differently had you brought Kirishima or hell even Izuku for fucks sake? 

"Oi, are you gonna come to bed or stand there all night? I'm not gonna fucking bite." He snarls, before his lips turn upward in an assholish teasing way, "Much." 

You hit him with your pillow. Causing him to almost drop his phone on his face. He growls as you reach to turn on the heavy duty fan to keep the room at a somewhat comfortable temperature. 

Exhaustion runs at you full force as you're pulled under with the aided sounds of the summer crickets and loud fan. 

But Bakugou finds himself lying awake, too hot in the shared bed as you block all of that sweet cool air. The only thing he gets is a lukewarm breeze that makes him question his life choices. 

Questions and answers circle around in his head while the moon gets lower and lower in the sky. He turns over to face you and noticing for the first time tonight that you're shivering. 

He cannot fathom how. It had to be 79 plus with the sun down, he lets his hands hover over you, feeling the breeze from the fan. The air is cold enough it reminds him of standing close to Todoroki. He sighs, activating a bit of his quirk before placing his warmed palm on your chilled skin. You sigh into the touch, scooting closer to the source of warmth until your ass is pressed against him. 

He groans from agitation and other things before he gently climbs over you so he could bare the brunt of the icy wind to his back while you warmed up. Snuggling into his chest with a soft smile. 

His heart explodes, skin becoming hot and cold all at once from just that small smile. 

He sighs, pushing some hair away from your face wondering how someone could be so perfect in the moonlight. 

[hehesarcasm-writing]

Todoroki fic for @trashdolphin/@simpgameplays

I love you! 💖

Prompt- movie night

Warnings- none 😁 have fun

Other details- this is a "collab" with @stephiecarie

(Here is Bakugou's Pov written by her) and the mc's skin tone is suited to simp's, please don't be offended by it 😗

➩Lets Start➩

A tired hand wrapped around your waist as you tried to get some popcorn. It was a signal for you to stop, as you were just barely too short for the cabinet. As a sweet and gentle kiss was placed on your forehead, Todoroki got a bag down.

He wouldn't usually let junk food slip by, but it was movie night! Who was he to say no to your cravings?! he can't, HE WON'T It was already late in the night, as you both stayed up together; only now getting ready for the movie.

----------

You both had stayed after school to study, causing the two of you getting home later than usual. Your boyfriend of one month, suggested to stay a little longer; but it was your guy's movie night!

The annual movie nights started way before the two of you had begun dating. Getting used to the routine you both had made, it just stuck.

Going your separate ways to change into some comfy clothes, shouto wearing sweats and a t-shirt, you wearing and tank top and shorts. You couldn't wear a long sleeve as you liked to sit on his left side; continuously making you warmer with the occasional cool down from his left.

Before settling in to pick out a movie, you decided it was time to do your skin care routine. Having not done it in a while and all the studying being done, you thought it was needed to help relax you both.

Of course he joined you in the bathroom, helping you gather up the lotions and soaps. Saying you both had clear skin was an understatement. Neither of you used unnecessary products, such as drying masks; having the nice soft, and non-oily skin preferred by many.

Going through the long over due face routine, your boyfriend decided to play nice music in the background. He was quite interested in music actually, helping him find a new song he might like every now and then; it always did bring a smile to his face when he listened to a song you found for him.

Now making your way to the kitchen, neither of you choosing to eat as to make room for comfort and junk food. You begin to stretch your tired limbs to get some popcorn.

----------

The now cooled bag being poured into a bowl, hearing the pops and smelling the salty butter made your stomach growl. Shouto saw this anxious expression and knew he had to feed you something. Not having any other food, and plainly not wanting to make/waste any, he simple picked you up and placed you on top of the counter.

"sigh, hey baby?" Feeling tired and bored, you just wanted to watch the movie. "What is it, y/n?" Even knowing what you were gonna say, he had to ask just in case. Humming from his sweet tone "Are we ready yet? I wanna-" "I know, almost. Come here, please?" He said, cutting you off.

Following your boyfriend's plead, you joined his side. Picking you up and holding you was easy, his toned muscles cradled you nicely, pressing you flush against him. He began peppering your face with kisses, going down to your collarbone, almost pushing past your shirt. You panicked as you realized he was getting ahead of himself, forgetting how long you've been dating.

"Ahh, Sho... As much as I like this affection, d-don't you think w-we should..." Your face going red as he looked at you, wide eyed. With a waterfall of realization flowing through him, he noticed what he was doing. "I- I'm so sorry, y/n... I didn't realize, and I hope you're not uncomfortable"

He looked down solemnly, still being in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, you kissed his forehead.

'I just wanted you to feel better.' he thought to himself, feeling embarrassed as you kissed him sincerely.

Red still making its way up your face, you continued as he looked up at you. Slowly but surely, forgetting about the movie; as your lips collided with his, almost unable to breathe between kisses.

He began to crave your touch even more, bringing you both to a wall. Pressing your back against it to bring you closer to him as he began to suck on the sensitive spot on your neck. The room getting increasingly hotter by the second. Tugging on his hair to maybe pull him away, as you were both still new to the relationship, only seemed to make him grow more aroused.

"Sh-shouto~ stop... W-we can't-" getting cut off by his kissed melted you. He never slowed down, making his way to the door, continuously swirling his tongue with yours. You tapped his shoulder as he brung you up the stairs.

"hm~" never unlocking his lips from yours, as he responded breathlessly. "We- we ca- ah" Easily getting more and more entranced in his touch; not wanting to give in until-

'He stopped?' He brung you to the top of the roof, your guy's movie spot. Todoroki plopped you down on a few layers of comfortable blankets with a sly smile looking like home on his face.

"What, you looked like you were hungry? I simply gave you a taste" that sly asswhole "Shouto! I just wanted to watch the movie and then you pull tha-"

Your pouting and whining was cut off by another one of his melt worthy kisses; sliding his tongue on your bottom lip as a tease. You pretended not to notice but your face betrayed you, as many shades of red reappeared.

Your boyfriend left you to pick a movie while he got the forgotten snacks. Picking the movie, he came back just in time. It was colder than most nights spent up there, so you begun to regret your clothing decisions. That is until Todoroki brought your favorite hoodie and pulled it over you; surprising you of course.

"Thanks, Sho" you said as your pale skin glowed against the moon light, the movie beginning to play. Your boyfriend sat down on your right side, as always and grabbed your hand. Something of which was new. Looking over to see his flushed face, he looked at your hand as they intertwined with his.

Cuddling up to his arm, you both stayed there till early morning since there was no school the next day. Shouto rubbing your knuckles, only really fixated on your hand, he began to trace your palm. He's never held your hand before, so he was taking it all in; as if he wouldn't get another chance.

Pushing small little kisses on each finger tip, counting each one, comparing his hand to yours and how his dominated it. It was like a child playing with your hand, but it was more than okay.

"Hey, y/n?" You hummed as a response, still paying attention to the movie. "I think- uh no, I know I love you~"

Your heart stopped, as neither of you have said these words to each other. Feeling warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach. You had taught Todoroki on how to not second guess himself, like he used to. So you know this was true, and with a gentle and genuine smile-

"I love you, too~"

➩End➩

I hope you enjoyed reading! If anyone has constructive criticism, I'll be glad to listen and take note.

Again, this was a request from @simpgameplays and I hope you liked this most of all! 💜💖

[wakaoujisenhime]

OMG! Now you are the best writer in my heart! I'm crying because your writing is so wonderful! Headcanons about Kise and Aomine are so soft! I in love with them! May I ask scenario about Kise female best friend who helps Kaijo boys (if you read Replace novel, you know their problems) with group date preparation.

A/N: I remember that being one of my favorite chapters, so thank you for the cute request! I’ve also decided to change the scenario up a little and have Kise’s best friend help them out after seeing them fail the first time & I tried something ‘special’ featuring Kise, so I hope you like it! ( ᵘ ꒳ ᵘ )

Tags: Kaijo x reader ✅  SFW ✅  friendship ✅  fluff ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Summer school festival - Kaijo x reader

You were just about to leave school, take the bus back home, and end this tiring schoolday as your phone suddenly began vibrating. One look at the screen was enough to cheer you up.

“Kise, what’s up? It’s quite rare of you to call me...something wrong?”

“(Y/N)-cchi, I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I’ll need your help with something.“

——

“Damn it Kise what are we waiting for now?!“

The five stars of the Kaijo basketball club had all gathered at the main entrance of their school, planning on going to pick up girls. The idea originated from Moriyama, who had proudly stated that summer supposedly was the best time for festivities and ideally those activities are meant for pairs. So today’s mission was to look for a crowded place and try to get to know as many girls as possible...and that’s where you come in.

Your friend already had some suspicions considering his teammates, since they didn’t have that many skills in such flirty situations. He knew that some of them - Kasamatsu and Hatakawa - had no experience whatsoever with girls while others - Moriyama and Kobori - were just having some light problems they needed help with.

The others were slowly getting impatient and intended on leaving for the station and just as they had set foot past the main gates, the basketball club ran into you.

“(Y/N)-cchi, there you are!”, shouted the yellow-haired man as a bright grin adorned his features. He ran up to you and wrapped his arms around your body, signalizing just how happy he was to see you.

Wordlessly you returned his hug and patted his back, your eyes though were fixated on the men behind him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?”, asked Moriyama gently.

As gentle as you could, you escaped your best friend’s arms and bowed to the other four.

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N). It’s a pleasure to finally be able to meet the rumored Kaijo basketball club personally.”

Only the tall man who had asked for an introduction answered, while all the others just nodded or didn’t say anything at all.

Hm...were they always so cold? They appear so talkative on the court, but in person, they seem quite distant...

“So uhm...Miss (L/N)...what are you here for exactly, if I may ask.”

The young man who uttered that question was quite tall and slim, had spiky brown hair but nonetheless appeared to be a nice person deep down. You actually appreciated what he’d asked since you had been wondering the exact same thing all the way to this school, but before you could even answer the man next to you took the initiative.

“I invited her to come with us!”

“You did what?!”

——

On your way to the station, Kise had explained the entire situation to you and his teammates.

In summary, this man truly believed that you would prove to be the best teacher and helper for them to overcome their inexperience and fear of women, and in order for you to get a good picture of their current standpoint, you had to watch them try and pick up girls.

Honestly speaking, it wasn’t the best idea, but it was so ‘Kise-like’ that even if you wanted to, you couldn’t refuse. His nice personality that made sure to always help people out is one of the many qualities that made you so fond of him.

So here you were, looking at five determined young men, raring to go out there and find their potential counterpart.

That was the plan at least...

Half an hour had passed during which three of them had taken turns in trying to talk to some random girls, one of them even tried speaking to the same woman who had dumped his teammate some minutes ago. Now just the captain and Kise were the only ones missing, but if there was one thing you knew and expected then it was for your best friend to actually steal the entire show and win over five or more girls at the same time, so before that happened you wanted to at least see just what kind of problem the man, who proudly wore the number 4 on his back, was trying to resolve. So instead of standing there and wondering on your own, you decided to just straight out ask him, but the moment he saw you approaching, he froze up.

After such a crushing defeat, the blond took it upon himself to initiate a second try and managed to invite five girls to join him and his teammates for a cup of tea. During their time at the coffee shop, you had taken a seat on a table for two which was close enough to theirs, listening and as subtly as possible observing the team’s behavior...

“You guys are hopeless as of right now”, you stated after everyone had gathered close to the fountain once again, “...but if the four of you are willing to overcome your current issues, I might have some tips ready.”

“(Y/N)-cchi, it’s so unfair that you only want to help them! What about me?”, complained Kise with his typical pouting grimace. It took you quite some time to get used to it and become immune, but at times like this, it really did pay off. Convincing this man was another problem you had to fully master, so you chose your words as carefully as you could, explaining that he didn’t need that much advice as the others.

On your way back home, you recalled today’s events with a small smile on your face.

Alright, if I remember correctly there was one very handsome and tall guy, who failed because he instantly started talking about how meeting that young girl was his destiny.

Then we had the other one who straight out asked one of them if they wanted some tea...great pickup line, huh?

There was also a loud but cute one who aske-...screamed at the same girl that rejected the spiky-haired one...

The captain, Kasamatsu I believe was so embarrassed and impressed with the chest size of that one girl at the cafe that he straight out said ‘oppai’ instead of ‘kanpai’...

After giggling to yourself you began thinking of possible ways to actually help them out, but you were quick to notice that this might become a greater challenge than expected. There were countless possibilities for dates or places where they could meet girls, but you didn’t know what the perfect scenario might be.

Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket and as you looked at the message you had just received, an idea you urgently needed to share with your best friend struck you almost immediately.

——

The rest of the week passed by in a flash and before any of you knew it, the day of your school’s festival had finally arrived.

“Miss (Y/N) hello.“, greeted Moriyama as soon as the five of them had met up with you at the promised spot. As soon as you saw that all of them had dressed up, you immediately began smiling to yourself, hoping that they wouldn’t notice the faint blush that adorned your cheeks.

“Good evening everyone, I’m glad to see that you guys found the way without any problems!“

It didn’t take Kise too long to run up to you and start complaining about how you’ve left him in the dark and ignored all his messages and questions concerning today’s plans. All you could do was pat his head and apologize for it.

“I know I shouldn’t have kept it hidden from you, but I figured it would be best if I told you guys about my plan today, so I could spare you from overthinking it too much.“

“That’s so nice of you, thank you very much!! We’ll be in your care tonight!!“, yelled the young man whom you remembered as Hayakawa and bowed to you multiple times, the action earning him a lot of curious glances from your classmates who passed by. It did take you some time to actually get him to stop his formal apology and you even got help from someone quite unexpected, namely Kasamtasu.

So he can do it if he wants to...

“Alright then, let me tell you guys what I came up with“, you began and lowered your voice, “some of my classmates are actually quite interested in basketball and as they heard that I know Kise they immediately started asking me if I could introduce them to him, but that wish extended the moment he joined Kaijo...and soon they wanted me to introduce you to them as well.“

The more you elaborated the more they understood in which direction this talk was headed, as for their thoughts...they varied, but out of respect to you they remained silent and kept on listening.

“So the moment my classmate reminded of today, I figured: why not invite you guys and finally introduce you to them.”

Kobori nodded slowly and placed a finger on his chin: ”That might actually work out...”

You smiled confidently and put your hands on your hips, striking a slight victory pose. “Oh, it will, since your interest and knowledge in basketball will be of great aid and advantage, since a lot of girls these days are really fond of you basketball players. And besides...have you actually noticed something peculiar?”

“Something peculiar you say..?”, repeated Moriyama who looked around, wondering just what you could possibly mean with that.

“Well compared to the girls at the station, you can actually talk pretty normal to me, right?“

The moment realization hit them several loud and surprised ‘oh’s escaped their mouths.

“Fact is that the four of you have no real problem talking with girls...your approaches are the main reason for concern.”

You turned to Hayakawa and began listing the results of your observations as well as giving them individual advice for the planned ‘group date’ that was about to follow.

Hayakawa, an ambitious young man who didn’t know how to tame his loud personality as well as his obvious love for the ball sport. That eagerness and dedication is actually quite the positive character trait a lot of women look for in a man, so his only obstacle would be to slowly drift off from basketball as a topic and strive for one which was more centered on the romantic life. So the advice you gave him was that he should begin imagining the date as some sort of basketball game. He - the player - had to somehow maneuver his way to the hoop which was the successful date or conversation, the girl would be the ball, and the enemies that try to block his way his passion for basketball.

Kobori, a really respectful and innocent young man who has no experience whatsoever and knows almost nothing about girls or pickup lines. Someone like that is quite rare to find and even if he may see it as some kind of disadvantage, you first and foremost reassured him that his ‘pureness’ is quite beneficial for girls who were in the same situation as him. It’s better to be unexperienced together and advance as a pair than solo. Your advice? ‘Be yourself and don’t be embarrassed to state that you’ve got no experience at all since that alone is commendable enough considering your age, looks, and club affinity.’    

Moriyama, the ‘pitiful handsome guy’ who believed that every encounter with the female gender was fated and destined for greatness. His nickname already gave anyone who witnessed his way of flirting a sufficient idea of what the problem with this man might be. He had the looks and gentleness for it, but the moment he opened his mouth it all went downhill for him, his conversation partner, and the success of the dialog. It was hard to give him advice since the idea of fateful meetings was deeply rooted in his head, so all you told him was that he should bring that topic up more subtly and maybe combine fate with some pickup lines since you had no doubt that if someone could pull off such cheesy sayings then that would be him.

Last but not least Kasamatsu the captain who barely managed a single word when women were around. For some unknown reason, he seemed afraid of the female kind, but he at least knew what he wanted, and back at the cafe he also proved to be somewhat capable of expressing that. So your advice to him was to actually let his actions speak for himself. Like that he’d get somewhat accustomed to the girl’s presence and that would make it easier for him to start a conversation, additionally, the fact that your classmates were also interested in basketball would help the captain out the most.  

As for Kise, well...he was your best friend, and during all these shared years of friendship you’ve pretty much told him everything concerning ‘problems’ he might have during such group dates. He was a desired and flashy young man who had a very unique sense of humor that was well received amongst his peers - female as well as male. The only problem was that he rarely managed to concentrate on one person and that, of course, hurt his conversation partner. Your advice to him was simple: turn your back to the crowd and face her and her alone.

After you had finally finished sharing your thoughts they all looked at you with wide, impressed, and somewhat loving eyes.

Sadly the group of girls came earlier than expected so the boys couldn’t manage to thank you properly, but you didn’t mind that and just sent them off with a smile on your face, hoping they’d have a good time and finally succeed in picking up girls. You couldn’t deny the fact that you felt lonely after literally sending off five people on a date with some other female students, but that loneliness soon perished as some moments later you heard a familiar voice calling out your name...