#i realize im 43 years too late for that

[rofax]

Thinking about in The Shining when Dick Halloran lands in Denver and calls ahead to rent a snowcat, and tells the guy he can get to the rental place in about 5 hours.

Sir????

How in the god damn are you making this into a 5 hr trip are you fucking swimming through the snow like what's the holdup my man

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[ladyideal]

Valentine’s Day Drabbles

We all know what this day is all about. Lmao. While it shouldn't only be one day you should be appreciating your partner, let's do this anyways.

Star Trek:

AOS Crew: Jim, Scotty, Bones, scones x reader, mckirk x reader

Disco Crew (s2 only): Pike, Tilly

Almost Human: John Kennex

LOTR: Aragorn, Eomer, Legolas, Boromir, Haldir

The Boys: Billy Butcher, Hughie 

Marvel: Bucky Barnes, Dr. Strange, Steve Rogers (if you don’t mind me trying to write him), Stucky x reader

Rules:

Please reblog. 🙂 Share the love around.

It’s open to anyone and everyone, but it would be nice if you were following me.

I will allow anons this time. But please. One ask per person. If I get too many anon requests, I will reserve the right to write first come first serve.

Send in an ask with your prompt(s) and character/ships. If you want to suggest other characters on the list, just ask. 

If you would like a pet within the story, lemme know. I'll be forever grateful. Or if you want something specific, also put that in.

Last date to request for a drabble will be February 12th, 2021.

Mix and match, choose more than one prompt if you wish.

If you've got any questions, feel free to message me. 🙂 They’ll be all be posted on the 14th!

Prompts Below:

1. “Be mine until the end of time.”

2. “I’ve been hit with Cupid’s arrow.”

3. “Happy Valentine’s Day, from now until forever.”

4. “Only if you promise to be my valentine.”

5. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” “Um….. is that today?”

6. Preparing a special Valentine’s Day dinner together.

7. Trying to find the right words to write in a Valentine’s Day card

8. Making homemade chocolates for their beloved

9. Planning and proposing to their significant other on Valentine’s Day

10. Wearing brand new lingerie for a sexy evening together

11. Attending a Valentine’s Day party and finding an impromptu date

12. Your crush giving you advice for the night of Valentine’s Day when they think you already have another date

13. Being surprised by flowers and chocolate sent to your work from a secret admirer

14. Forgetting tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and frantically rushing out to find a last-minute gift.

15. Writing a secret love letter and leaving it on your crush’s desk

16. “Roses are red, violets are blue, all I want for this V-Day is to do you!”

17. Candy hearts

18. Roses

19. Blind date/set up by friends

20. Chocolates

21. Movie night

22. Late for a date

23. Wrong restaurant

24. Strangers alone on Valentine's day

25. Friend(s) date

26. Rained out picnic

27. Low on money/homemade date

28. Surprise date while working late

29. Forgot to get anything

30. Babysitter canceled/Family date night

31. Secret admirer/admitting a crush 

Situations:

32. Person A and Person B are friends and neither of them have a date for Valentine’s Day, so they decide to order takeout of some kind and watch a movie together. At some point, hidden feelings are revealed. 

33. “ Happy unimaginative, consumerist oriented and completely arbitrary, manipulative, and shallow interpretation of romance day.”

34. Person A has been in love with person B for years and is trying to work up the courage to ask them out on Valentine’s Day. 

35. Person A is friends with Person B and Person C and believes they belong together, so when Person A and Person B agree to set each other up on blind dates, Person A sets person B up with Person C.

36. “I know a Valentine’s Day proposal is cliche, but won’t it be romantic?”“ This Valentine’s Day is officially Pal-entine’s Day.” “ Isn’t that the emperor from Star Wars?”  

37. “I’m not good with feelings, but here goes nothing. My life sucks less with you in it.”

38. Person A plans the most romantic day ever, not realizing Person B hates Valentine’s Day. 

39. Valentine’s Day break up.

40. “ I don’t even want to hear about Valentine’s Day, okay? The love of my life is dead.” 

41. “This holiday is so pointless.”

42. “Do you maybe want to go to the Valentine’s dance with me??

43. Person A and Person B were going to have the most amazing date ever, but there was a snowstorm and now they’re stuck at home. 

44. “You still have your Christmas lights up? It’s February! Get your life together!”

45. Person A and Person B have to spend Valentine’s Day apart. 

46. “What? I do not like him/her/them! We’re just friends.”

47. “Wow, you suck at flirting.”

48. Person A is stood up for a date. Person B, who is secretly in love with them, does everything in their power to cheer them up. 

49. Quarantine Valentine’s Day. 

50. Person A and Person B debate which fictional couple they would be. And there was only one bed! 

51. Person A doesn’t know Person B and Person C are together, until Person C walks into Person B’s room on Valentine’s Day without knocking. 

52. Person A sets up a romantic scavenger hunt for Person B. 

53. Person A is late for a date with Person B. 

54. Person A accidentally buys Person B a gift they are allergic to. 

55. A carriage ride at sunset. 

56. “Hey, we should play spin the bottle!”

57. A date gone horribly wrong. 

58. “I need help picking an outfit for a date tonight.”

59. Person A and Person B make a bet. If Person B loses, they have to go on a date with Person A. 

60. Stargazing.

61. “I got a new dress. Do you like it?” “I’ll like it better when it’s on my floor.”

62. Medieval royalty romance AU

63. Person B is in love with Person A, who agreed to go out with Person C for Valentine’s Day. 

64. Romantic getaway.

65. Personalized candy hearts. 

66. Person A and Person B are on a date when they run into Person A’s ex.

67. Person A confesses their love to Person B, who does not return their feelings.

68. Person A and Person B decide to platonically go on a date. 

69. Everyone spends the whole day trying to get Person A and Person B together. 

70. Person A and Person B get into a situation in which they think they are going to die, so they pour their hearts out only to be rescued at the last minute. 

71. First Valentine’s Day as a married couple. 

72. Person A tries to prove they aren’t in love with Person B by setting Person B up on a date. 

73. A picnic in the park, but it’s snowing. 

74. Person A gives Person B a romantic gift and Person A vows to keep it forever. 

75. Caught cheating on Valentine’s Day. 

76. First kiss. 

77. “This has been terrible, but at least I’m with you.”

78. Person A has a surprise planned and Person B is dying to know what it is.

79. Person A and Person B are on a date and discover Person C and Person D have secretly been together for months. 

80.  Cupid’s arrow

81. Getting stood up on Valentine’s Day

82.  Watching the one you love on a date with another

83.  Pinky promise me forever

84.  Massages

85.  Open prompt

Credit prompts to @vv-writing-prompts​, @writing-prompts-list​, & @im-the-letter-t​

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 48

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47

NOTES:

-4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: thank you for sticking up by me and this story! thank you for reading, commenting, reblogging... thank you also if you’re a silent reader, and I know there’s a few. I know this isnt over yet, and ill write a long thank you with the last chapter but i had to say it here. THANK YOU!

ALSO! this chapter has BOTH povs. so will the next 2 (and final) chapters!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 48

NIALL

December 2018

I had no idea how many pints we had swallowed but clearly, when we got out of the restaurant, I felt a sensation of happiness invade me and I was not really sure why. Louis said something funny and I laughed as we started walking down the street and I replied something that had to do with his girlfriend. He pushed with the side of his body and I started laughing again. It was a good thing we decided to get out to sober up a bit and I felt my eyes flutter when a cool breeze his my face.

It felt so good to be close to Louis again. I couldn't pretend I was totally okay with the fact that he had sex with Olivia but I knew it was a bit stupid of me to hold that grudge. It had been months and it was different now. it was completely different. I was with her and we loved each other, and I was going to ask her to marry me. Soon. Very Very soon.

"I wish I was there to see Liv's face when you'll ask her to be your wife." Louis let out as I glanced at him.

He was smiling fondly and it made me realize he was happy for her. He was happy for both of us. Suddenly, I knew exactly why Olivia had picked him as a best friend. They were so similar in so many aspects and if they hadn't had sex before, I would have said they could have been siblings... twins, perhaps. Not physically, of course, but mentally and emotionally, they were almost exactly the same.

"Definitely, you won't." I chuckled, glancing at him again as I pushed my hands in my pockets.

"Oh, I know." he shrugged, his lips still curled. "I mean, when you two started talking again, she told me she was going to get married with Dylan anyway but I could hear it in her voice that it's not what she really wanted. I told her that she should get married with you instead."

My eyebrows raised and I turned to him as we stopped walking. I was surprised that Louis said that since I was very aware of how mad he was at me after I broke her heart. It had broken our friendship in a way I thought could never be mended back together, but here we were, laughing and having fun the way we used to. He was the first one I told about the ring and somehow, it made total sense.

"Really?" I asked, glancing at him. "I wouldn't have thought but, thank you, Tommo."

"Look, no offense mate, but I did it for her, not for you."

It hurt slightly but I just nodded and licked my lips. It didn't change the fact that he knew Olivia had feelings for me, and most likely thought we were meant to be, and that was enough for me. I couldn't expect our friendship to be exactly how it used to be. Too many things happened, and we both had changed, but I still enjoyed this night and the fact that I was getting my friend back.

We kept walking slowly in silence and after a while, I frowned. I knew where I was and it took me a few seconds to realize why this place felt so important. My heart jumped in my chest and I held my breath when I saw the sign of the bakery a bit farther in the street. It was not lighted up but I could easily read it anymore and I stopped right next to the door.

"You okay Niall?"

I ignored him and moved closer to the door, leaning my forehead against the window just to look inside. I couldn't see the place I had seen her for the first time in over a year, but I could clearly see the spot where I had been standing. A bunch of feelings invaded me, the same feelings that had invaded me back then, when my eyes had fallen on her, and I had to swallow hard, as if my heart was threatening to jump out of my throat.

"Uh-oh," Louis started low. "Looks like it's about to rain."

I blinked a few times, staring some more seconds inside the bakery, and suddenly, something seemed to hit me. I had no idea why I had waited for so many months, I didn't know what the fuck I was thinking. I should have told Olivia that I wanted to marry her, I should have asked her to be my wife back in april, when I bought that damn ring. I had been ready to spend my life with her since that day I saw her again at the bakery and there was no reason to wait again.

I felt raindrops hit the top of my head and wet my shirt, but I just breathed in deeply and turned around, my eyes roaming on the empty and dark street.

"Mate, are you okay?"

Once again, I ignored Louis and without thinking, I started running. I could hear him yelling my name a few times behind me but I didn't stop : I just kept on running as te rain started falling even harder, pouring over me like a shower. I felt my white shirt stick to my chest and the sound of how wet my socks were as I ran on the sidewalk. I didn't even stop when I arrived in front of my house but for some reason, Olivia opened the door just as I was walking up the stairs. She was only wearing a shirt and panties and the sight made me swallow hard.

"Niall? Are you okay?" she asked with a frown, taking a step out as I shook my head, panting loudly, my lips parted and my eyes stuck on her.

"No, no Olivia, I'm not okay." I just let out.

She took a step closer and even if she was still protected somehow from the rain, I could see a few raindrops on her forehead. She brought her hand to my chest and saw her body quiver as a shiver crossed it.

"What's wrong?"

I could hear worry in her voice and it made me realize that no one in the world has ever loved me the way she loved me. No one in the world loved me as much as she loved me. No one ever would, and I didn't want anyone else to anyway. The love she was giving me in every word, every touch, every gaze... that love couldn't be compared to anything else I ever had the chance to get.

"I don't want to wait anymore, Olivia... I've waited enough." I pointed out, making her frown slightly and shake her head.

"W-What?"

"There's no reason to wait anymore!" I let out in an excited tone as I felt every fiber of my body boiling. "It's useless to wait! I love you! I want to spend my life with you!"

Her lips curled and her traits softened. "Me too, Nee." she admitted in a low tone, tilting her head and licking her lips.

"No, Liv, you don't get it." I let out, shaking my head, my lips curling even more. "I know i'll spend my life with you, I won't pass next to this chance a second time. I know I'll never ruin this again, because this is the most important relationship I've ever had and you're the most important person in my life. I want to share everything with you.. Every good morning's and good night's, and every grocery shopping trips, and... and netflix nights, and cleaning days. I want to be with you, and take care of you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I want us to know that as long as we have each other, we'll be okay, because we will. I want to complete you because you complete me, Olivia. I realized a long time ago that I can't live with you!"

"Niall," she started, shaking her head and frowning slightly again. "What are you saying?"

I reached for her hands and squeezed them hard in mine. I was completely drenched by then, but I didn't give a fuck. The rain kept falling on my face, sliding down my cheeks to reach my neck and soak me even more. But I pushed that thought away as I let go of one of her hands to dive one of mine in my pocket. I played with the ring with the tip of my fingers for a few seconds, making sure the small diamond was on top, and finally took it out. I felt her tense in front of me but got on one knee anyway, squeezing one of her hands again as I felt nervousness invade me.

"I should have done this a long time ago. I bought this ring in april, and I have no idea why it took me so long to do this. I wanted to find the right words, the right time, the right way. I just didn't realize that there was no right time, words or way. Because every moment is right. I could have asked at any moment and it would have been the right moment because you're the right person.

"Oh my... god." she whispered before swallowing hard. "Niall..."

"Liv, will you marry me?"

She stared at me and finally took a step closer. I held my breath when I realize she was now under the rain as it fell roughly and quickly on her. Her hair stuck to her cheeks and she looked down in my eyes, blinking a few times.

"Are these tears or is it just the rain?" I just asked, making her chuckle and shake her head.

"I love you so much, Niall James Horan!" she let out loud enough so I would hear her over the sound of the rain hitting the cement. "Of course I'll marry you! I've wanted to marry you since I was 6 years old!"

A wave of relief washed over me and I chuckled nervously as my whole body seemed to throb. I got up slowly, still holding her hand, and looked down at her as my lips curled into a fond smile. I really should have done that before, but they said 'better late than never', right?

"I'm in love with you." I whispered, touching her fingers to find the right one before sliding the ring on it without every looking away from her eyes. "Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me, I want to be your wife so bad, I can't even tell you how happy this makes me."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. My eyes closed when I felt her lips against mine and suddenly, I realized that everything was perfect.

                                                      ---

OLIVIA

I kissed him deeply but slowly, feeling his wet shirt soak mine as he pulled me closer. I let the fingers of both my hands slip in his wet hair and pull on it gently, before two or three of my fingertips slid down to his nape, playing with the very bottom of his hair. It made him shiver against me and I whimpered low in his mouth.

"I'm so in love with you, Niall." I whispered, my lips still brushing against his.

My eyes fluttered open and I moved my hand a bit before moving my head back just to look at the ring on my finger. It seemed unreal and for half a second, I wondered if I was actually dreaming one of these very vivid and realistic dreams I had, sometimes. They used to happen so often after Niall broke up with me. Perhaps I was still just in one of those dreams where I'm happy and I get everything I've ever desired. The diamond shined a bit when I moved my hand because of the light from the living room and I felt myself tear up.

I stared at the only human I was ever in love with and swallowed hard. I focused on the locks of his hair sticking to his forehead and at how beautiful he looked. No one else had ever made me feel like he did, and the feelings inside me were so strong I started feeling them physically. Somehow, my hole body started throbbing and I felt my legs weaken at all the strong emotions reaching me.

I felt his palms press more on my back and bit my bottom lip before gripping the front of his shirt and pulling him inside roughly. My lips found his again and I kissed him a bit too hard, perhaps, pulling his shirt over his head before doing the same with mine so fast I almost tore it up. I felt his hands on my naked waist and realized I had been half naked the whole time.

His hands moved up on my chest and I felt his thumbs stop right under my breasts as we kissed. I wanted him so bad... I wanted him like it was our last time... or our very first time.

He pushed the door with one of his feet but it stayed half open as I undid his pants and pulled them down. We ended up laying on the floor in the lobby, his lips running all over me as fat as my hands traveled on his back, neck and in his hair. The moment he pushed himself inside me made my back arched and I moved my knees up, keeping my feet flat on the floor.

"I love you so much." he whispered, his lips pressing against my neck, near my jaw, before he pushed himself deeper inside me. "F-Fuck, you feel so good."

I tilted my chin up and closed my eyes, realizing that I could hear the rain pouring outside. From time to time, I even felt a few drops reach for my legs and it made me think that it was probably falling on Niall, too. I pushed my fingers in his back and my nails sunk in his skin as he thrust in and out of me slowly but deeply. I felt dizzy when an orgasm started building up in the pit of my stomach but I pressed my thighs on each side of him to hold him in place before moving on my elbows to kiss him harder.

I wanted to beg him not to move but I didn't have to. He stopped moving over me only to focus on the way he was kissing me, and I could feel my heart beat so hard and fast that I felt like I was about to cum anyway.

"Mm, Olivia, you're gonna be my wife yea?" he mumbled as we kissed. "I should have asked before but I was so scared you'd say no."

I felt my heart jump and twist in my chest at his confession and shut my eyes tighter. "I would have said 'yes' Niall." I whispered. "There's not a single moment you could have asked in this lifetime when my answer would have been 'no."

He stopped kissing me for a few seconds and finally rolled us around. I held my breath, a bit surprised, but ended up staddling him as his hands ran on my thighs gently. My lips were still very close to his and my hair was falling around us, hiding our faces like a curtain.

"I can't wait to be your wife, Niall."

His lips curled slightly in a fond smile. "I can't wait to cherish you, love you, and support you for the rest of my life." he added in a murmur. "Now ride me, petal."

My lips curled more and I chuckled before sitting up.I started riding him gently, staring down at him and biting my bottom lip. I could still see a few locks of his hair stuck on his forehead and the sight of him naked under me made my whole body quiver.

"This is what I want to see every single day for the rest of my life." he admitted in a whisper, letting one of his hands slide up until my breasts, running his palm on them and brushing his fingertips on my nipples. "That honeymoon is gonna be something else, petal."

I smiled more and bend down slightly, holding myself with my hands on his chest. "That honeymoon is gonna last until we die."

He smiled at me and nodded. "It will."

I started riding him again, harder and a bit faster this time, and when his hand reached between my legs to rub my clit, I started shaking over him. He groaned low, reaching for my thighs and grabbing them hard while he closed his eyes tight. We remained motionless for a few seconds, just panting with our eyes closed, but after a while, my eyes fluttered open and I sent him a fond smile.

"C'mere."

I lied down next to him on the floor, not even caring about how uncomfortable it was, and I moved my hand up to look at my ring again. It was unbelievable but I knew it was true. If someone had told me, when I was a kid, that I was going to marry Niall, I would have laughed. Heck, if someone had told me that a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Now, however, it just felt right. It felt like the accomplishment of a lifetime. It felt like the obvious outcome of my journey. It felt like the epic conclusion that was meant to happen.

"I bought this in Paris, when we were at your parents." he just said, making my heart skip a beat. How could his voice still make me melt after all this time? "I just woke up one day and I knew it was the right thing to do. It was so obvious to me I didn't even doubt it or question it. Not a fucking second."

I turned my head to look at him, noticing he was staring at the ring on my finger.

"You're the love of my life, we should already be married." he pointed out with a small shrug, making me laugh. It made him turn my way and he raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"I mean you? Niall Horan? Wanting to get married so soon?" I asked, the left corner of my lips raised up. "Who would have thought? I mean, you'll be the first one in your band to be married. Even before Louis... even before Liam! If you think about it, it's quite surprising isn't it?"

He stared at me for a few seconds, but his lips finally curled into a smile too and he chuckled. "Yea, maybe. i mean, if you weren't in my life, I'd probably be the last one to get married, you're right."

"So it's because of me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning my body his way.

"Yea. I don't want to marry anyone else, and if you weren't in my life... I don't even know if I'd get married. Maybe in my late 30's? Or 40's? Who knows?"

We stared at each other for a minute or two in silence. I was coming up to the conclusion that soulmates were real, and I was lucky enough to have found mine. Even better, it seemed like I was his soulmate too, and nothing could be more perfect that that. I couldn't say I wouldn't have married anyone but him, especially since I was so close to marry an other man, but I could say that I would never be happy with anyone else the way I was happy with him. There was something about this relationship that I wouldn't be able to get though any other relationship. I never felt like that for anyone else in the world. No one could compare. No one was Niall James Horan, and he was the only one I wanted.

"This calls for champagne."

I chuckled and he got up before extending his hand to help me up too. I grabbed his shirt on the floor but grimaced at how wet it was. Instead, I grabbed all our clothes spread on the floor and brought it to the washing machine as he walked up to the kitchen completely naked. I grabbed a pair of boxers for him and one of his shirt for me and walked back to the living room, closing the door and locking it. It was still raining hard outside and I looked by the window for a short moment before finally joining him in the kitchen. He had picked a bottle of champagne and I smiled as I stared at him. He was there, standing completely naked in the kitchen, a bottle of champagne in hands, trying to open it, and I tilted my head. The sight was fucking incredible.

"I brought you boxers but I'm not sure I want to give them to you anymore."

He turned to me with a smirk and I couldn't help but let glance down at his dick. He chuckles and opened the bottle of champagne with a 'pop' before pouring some in two glasses.

"Clothing is optional tonight, my love." he let out, raising his eyebrows. "In fact, it's forbidden to wear any piece of clothing."

He handed me my glass and I pressed my lips together, taking it just as he snapped the shirt and boxers from my other hand. I held my breath as he threw them away and let out a short giggle. I was never at ease while being naked, especially around Niall because his opinion mattered to me more than anyone else's, but the way his eyes roamed on my naked form and sparkled as they got back into mine... that was something that didn't lie. So I didn't have the body I used to have, and I didn't have (and never did) the body of the girls he used to date and fuck... but apparently, it didn't matter to him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked in a low tone, licking my lips.

He cleared his throat and took his own glass before turning back to me again.

"You look at me too, darling." he pointed out, avoiding my eyes.

"I know but... I don't know, you were looking at me... in a special way."

This time, he looked out and our eyes met. He took a step closer and my lips parted slightly. Fuck, I loved him, I loved him so fucking much I could literally die.

"I can't believe how lucky I am." he admitted in a very low tone. "I'm gonna make love to you every single day for the rest of my life. I want to discover and remember every mole, every mark, every spot." I felt his free hand run on one of my breasts and slide down my stomach. "I want to learn the best ways to make you horny, to make you dizzy, to drive you crazy and to make you cum. I was looking at you because I find it scary how close I was to never get you back."

I stared at him, my mouth slightly open, as I let his words sink in. My eyes fluttered but I kept them open and he brought his fingers on my back, brushing his fingertips on my spine.

"And you say you're not good with words." I pointed out, tilting my head and making him chuckle again.

"I'm getting better at it, right?" he laughed, taking a step back. "You mad eme practice a lot, without really realizing it."

i rolled my eyes with a smile and shrugged as he brought his glass up. "To you and I, to this relationship that will last longer than a lifetime. To you, because you're perfect for me."

"To you too, because you're the only one I ever wanted."

I clinked my glass against his and swallowed everything, putting the glass back on the counter. He did the same and filled them up again.

"So, how are we gonna tell everyone?" I asked, bringing the now full glass to my lips again.

"We're not." he said, leaning his ass against the counter, taking a sip too and making me frown. "We're eloping. Prepare your stuff, we're leaving tomorrow."

[devil-in-the-d3tails]

It’s the End of the World as We Know It - Chapter 1

summary: During the international quarantine in your first-ever pandemic, the people around you slowly begin to disappear. As the world grows quieter and quieter, you find yourself all alone-- no power, no friends, and only one goal: to find whoever of your friends might be left and reunite with them.You're naive to think anything can be that simple. As you're faced with ever-increasing loneliness, you run into some boys who apparently went to the same high school as you. Will you join forces with them to figure out your strange circumstances together, or will you brave loneliness in a world that is slowly crumbling apart?

Link on AO3!

words: 4,452

rating: M - Mature

genre: angst/humor, romance, adventure, apocalypse AU, reader-insert

warnings: sort of depressing content, a smidge of violence, cursing

a/n: hello, hello! this is my first fic for haikyuu (originally posted on AO3), and i wanted to post it on tumblr as well just for shits n gigs. please enjoy!

- Beginning of the End -

It was a Thursday the day everyone disappeared.

The world was quiet outside, but it was loud in your phone, on account of the international quarantine. Everyone was tweeting, making dumb videos, playing video games. You would sit in your room for hours on end, scrolling through your phone as you mourned the loss of your senior year of high school. No prom, no graduation, no more arts and crafts club. It was bad enough that your closest friend group had been disbanded before your senior year even started-- it was just bad luck, but they all left to live in different states while you were left alone in suburbia.

You stayed home with your mom while your dad went to work-- he was considered an essential worker, as he worked in the grocery store. Your mom was much more active than you, constantly cleaning or cooking or going for a walk. It was admirable, but it irritated you how she would always try and get you to interact with her activities. She did it because she was probably worried about you, and she was probably lonely. You were lonely, too-- your friends lived miles away in the vast expanse of the suburbs, and your home was tucked into the fringes of soccer mom society. Your backyard was larger than most, and it was perfect for when you would host kickbacks with your friends. Recently, however, you had no reason to use the large space.

On Thursday, you decided to put down your phone for a while and play fetch with your dog. She was the biggest and fluffiest best friend you’d ever had, a german shepherd named Indie, short for Indiana, as in the archaeologist. You thought the name was fitting, because she could find almost anything with her nose-- you and your mom had trained her to do that a few summers ago.

Your mom had gone on a walk before you decided to play fetch with the dog. You had left your phone on the kitchen table. It wasn’t until the sun began to set and you felt your arm begin to ache when you noticed that she’d been gone for a while.

You gave Indie her stick, though she sniffed and whined at you stressfully. You frowned, and let her inside as you checked your phone. A few notifications from your friends’ group chat:

 4:47pm

Kimi: Anybody else’s power go out?

Callie: omg i thought it was just Ohio!

Kimi: Nah, we got it in Connecticut, too.

Emily: New York, too!

They were asking if you had experienced the same thing.

 6:48pm

Me: i didnt notice, i was playing with indie. wbu, sami?

 Sami had moved to L.A., about two hours from your home, so you guys were able to hang out most weekends if you took the train or if she drove out to you. She didn’t even read the chat.

 6:48pm

Me: bitch i know ur in quarantine smh read my message

[Kimi, Callie, and Emily liked your message!]

 You dialed your mom’s number as you went to turn on the T.V., only to be met with static. You frowned, and surfed a few channels only to be met with more static before you turned it off. Her voicemail blared through your phone speakers, and that was when you started to worry.

You hung up, called your dad.

“Hey, honey!” He answered-- he must’ve been on break.

“Dad, did the power go out?”

“Yeah, for a couple minutes there. Did it happen at home, too?”

“Yeah…” You trailed off. Indie licked your hand, and whined some more. “Hey, mom’s not answering her phone and she’s been on a walk for a while. Like, three hours.”

“Huh.” Your dad let out a contemplative sigh. “Well, I’m sure she’ll be okay. Maybe she’s talking with the neighbors and her phone died.”

“Maybe.”

But maybe not. You had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, and Indie could sense it as you sat on the couch. She slowly tried to inch her way into your lap, as she never really had a good idea of her own large size. You just let her and scratched her ear.

“Listen, honey, I gotta go. But we can make mac-n-cheese for dinner, how’s that sound?”

“Good, dad.” You said, biting your lip. “Okay, see you when you get home.”

Then, you hung up, and you waited for your mom.

[-]

When your dad got home, you went out to search for your mom. On your tour of the neighborhood, you came across others who had broken quarantine and were searching for their loved ones, too. Saying they went for a walk, or to the store and they didn’t come back.

Your dad remained the voice of reason, saying things like well maybe their phone died, or this is all just some big prank we’ll all laugh about later. You stayed silent.

[-]

Saturday was when your dad didn’t come home. His car was nowhere to be found, but you didn’t trust yourself to drive your mom’s car just yet. Or rather, you didn’t want to drive it because you didn’t want to be reminded that it was permanently vacant. You walked all the way to the store an hour after he was supposed to have gotten off. Manager Dan wasn’t there, either-- nobody had seen your dad at all that day; he was a no-call, no-show.

You walked all the way back home.

9:52pm

Me: my dad’s gone now too

 10:05pm

Callie: fuck.

Callie: my sister…

 10:06pm

Kimi: I still haven’t heard from Sami.

Emily: Yeah, me neither.

 10:15pm

Me: we should check in every day with each other

[Callie and Emily liked your message!]

 10:32

Me: Kimi?

 [-]

It’s Thursday again.

Emily has stopped answering by now, and the frantic search parties that used to pass by your window every now and again have stopped, too. Even Twitter is quiet-- it seems with every passing day, more and more people go silent. As you lay on your bed with Indie at your feet, you keep refreshing your feed on every social media app, but nothing changes-- all of the posts are old. It feels like your world is shrinking while at the same time expanding into a terrifying void.

 5:38pm

Me: callie?

Callie: im here.

 You breathe a sigh of relief, which turns into a sob into your pillow.

 5:39pm

Me: idk how long we’ll have wifi or even electricity.

Callie: my parents are still here. Come to ohio, seriously.

 You bite your lip. You think about Sami, and how many times she pried the truth out of you when you were sad, how she was the only one who would sing with you at karaoke, how you promised to move to New York together.

 5:39pm

Me: i have to find sami.

Callie: please just come here. We need to stick together.

Me: i’ll find sami and we’ll come to ohio. Then we go to NY to look for em and kimi.

 5:45pm

Callie: okay. Please text.

Me: i will. I promise i’ll come to ohio.

 You bite your lip, and glance at your phone’s percentage: 43%. You sigh, and put it on the charger while you go downstairs to scrounge for breakfast. You only woke up about two hours ago, though you can’t sleep much, anyways. You think to yourself how your mom would be scolding you for waking up so late.

As you eat the last poptart, Indie lays down on your feet. You toss her a couple crumbs, she eats them gratefully. You sigh, and look at your now empty pantry-- you have to try and go to the grocery store, whether you like it or not. You only have your permit, but you know that you’re a terrible driver. Still, you get up and put on shoes and grab your jacket. You probably don’t have to worry about cops or the law anymore, anyway-- you suspect everything has disappeared.

You look at yourself in the mirror; you didn’t think your outfit for the apocalypse would be sweatpants and a hoodie. With a sigh, you change into jeans and a long sleeve, layer a flannel on top of that, and your favorite jacket on top of that. It’s cold outside-- much colder than you’re used to.

Based on the incredible silence on Facebook, you figure that most of the adults have disappeared. As you drive further and further into town, you notice some obvious signs of looting from once pristine houses: trash littering lawns, doors left wide open. You get the haunting realization that you’re perhaps the only person left in your neighborhood. It’s amazing how quickly things can turn in just a few days.

When you pull up to the grocery store, you notice there’s only one other car there-- a white van, stationed by the curb and still running. You actually pull into a parking spot like some kind of society bootlicker, and cautiously put the car in park and turn off the engine.

You watch the van for a moment, slowly becoming hyper-aware of the very real possibility that you might run into robbers. Your stomach growls, and you take a deep breath. You should’ve brought Indie.

Grocery bags in hand, you exit your soccer mom minivan and lock it. Steeling your nerves, you put one foot in front of the other. As if on cue, two figures hurry out of the store, glancing behind them before they notice you. The automatic doors have long since stopped running, so they just pause in the doorway while you freeze on the curb, the fumes from the van tickling your nose.

They’re both boys holding bags you assume to be filled with groceries: both around your age, one of them has gray and black spiked hair, and eyes as wide and aware as an owl’s. The one next to him has dark, short, almost curly hair, and his gaze is calculating and cold.

You take a small step back, unsure of what to say. They seem just as apprehensive, when the van door slides open forcefully.

“Hey, what are you doing? Get in!” Another boy, this one of a larger build than the two in front of you with jet black spiked hair, snaps angrily.

“Kuroo, we have a situation.” The curly-haired boy says evenly, though he’s tense. His knuckles are white holding his bags.

“Huh?” The one who must be Kuroo says, and cranes his neck to the side to spot you. “Oh, shit.”

“U-um…” You stutter out, and you suddenly feel extremely cornered-- it’s three against one, and what if they want to take your car? What if they have some kind of weird cult and need a girl for breeding? “I’m just gonna get some-- some poptarts and leave.”

“Holy shit!!” The gray haired one seems to have broken out of his stupor, and he rushes over to you, dropping his bags and their contents on the ground in order to grab your shoulders. “Another person! A-a girl!”

“Yes, she’s a girl…” The curly-haired one sighs, puts his bags in the van and begins to gather up the other one’s forgotten groceries.

“First one I’ve seen in a while.” Kuroo grins and hops from the car to stand beside the gray-haired one who still hasn’t let go of you. You don’t have the balls to tell him to get off-- you’re not sure how dangerous these boys are. “How long have you been hiding out?”

“Come with us! We’re at the high school.” The gray-haired one beams-- how could he possibly be smiling?

You don’t know what to say, so you look away. Your voice seems to be caught in your throat, and that’s extremely frustrating-- but you’re not about to cry in front of these guys.

“Quit it, Bokuto.” The curly-haired one is eyeing you carefully, though not as if you’re a threat. He seems to be the only one that can actually sense your discomfort. The one that’s holding you-- Bokuto-- sighs, and lets you go, instead putting his hands on his hips.

“We should at least help her.” He points out, and grins down at you. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“She’s not gonna tell you. Let’s just go home.” Kuroo shrugs, and you cross your arms.

You tell them your name, if only to spite the taller one. He turns with a grin, and it only just occurs to you that perhaps, that was reverse-psychology. You huff, and look away with a little bit of a blush.

“Like I said, I just need to get poptarts and some other things and then I’m going back home.” You mutter.

“We’re wasting gas.” The curly-haired one calls, as he has already sat in the front seat.

“Hold on, Akaashi!” Bokuto calls. “Listen, there aren’t anymore poptarts in there. None whatsoever.”

Your heart breaks a little, but you keep it together.

“There’s, like, rice and stuff, but I think that’s it.” He shrugs, and turns to get into the van. You bite your lip--  might as well ask rather than waste your time wandering around all alone.

“Is there any dog food left?”

“Huh? Dog food?” Bokuto is right back in front of you. He and Kuroo speak at the same time:

“You’re gonna eat dog food?” Bokuto says. “You have a dog?” Kuroo says, and the two boys glare at each other.

“Yeah…” You say, though you still haven’t gotten an answer to your question. “I mean, I have a dog.”

“Yeah, it’s in aisle five.” You hear the one called Akaashi tell you, without even bothering to turn to look at you.

“I know that.” You snap-- your dad used to work in this store, you know it pretty damn well. Akaashi glances back at you then, probably a little surprised by your defensive tone. You huff, annoyed at yourself for being so touchy. These were the first people you met after about three straight weeks in quarantine, and they might be the only people left for miles. You need to play nice.

“My dad works here.” You explain, looking down at your shoes. Kuroo nods, exchanges a glance with Bokuto. “Well, he used to.”

A silence falls over the group-- they know. You all know, now, what it’s like to lose a parent, or any loved one, for that matter. You blink quickly to fight back any tears that might threaten to escape.

“We’re staying at Karasuno High-- it’s the high school near Flat Top.” Kuroo says. “If you want to join us, we’re kind of setting up camp there.”

“There’s more of us!” Bokuto explains. “We’re gonna find some mattresses after this to bring ‘em back so we can all stick together.”

“Oh, cool.” You say half-heartedly, unsure of why exactly they’re inviting you over as if it’s some kind of fun sleepover. “Wait, you guys went to Karasuno?”

“Yeah! You, too?” Bokuto lights up, and you look at the three boys a little closer, though you don’t seem to recognize them.

“Yeah… but I don’t think we were in the same circles.” You finally smile a little, albeit sadly, now that you’re remembering all the things you’ll never be able to return to now that school and society are essentially gone.

“You ever go to any volleyball games?” Kuroo asks, obviously encouraged by your smile. You shake your head.

Akaashi has exited the van by now with a sigh, coming to stand beside his two friends as he takes a look around. “We need to get going. If you want to join us, you know where to find us. But it’s gonna be dark soon.”

That seems to smack some sense into the other two, and they exchange glances with one another. Kuroo nods, Bokuto sighs, and the two get back into the van. Akaashi pauses, and you accidentally lock eyes with him.

His gaze betrays nothing, and you wonder for a moment how he ever became friends with these two. He reaches into the van, and pulls out a familiar blue cardboard box, gives it to you.

You take the poptarts, and glance up at him questioningly-- he puts a finger to his lips with just the hint of a smile. You smile back.

“Listen, it’s great you have a dog-- keep him close. And get home before it gets dark. And…” He glances to the side uneasily. “Get a baseball bat or something.”

A chill goes up your spine at that last part, and you frown, but nod to the boy in front of you anyways. He returns the nod, and gets in the back of the van. You both share a glance at each other one more time, and it feels as if he wants to say something more, but he doesn’t. He just slides the door closed, and Bokuto waves to you out the window.

“Byee! Hopefully we’ll see you later-- hey, where’d you get those poptarts?!” Bokuto’s voice fades away as the van drives off, and you are once again left alone.

[-]

You gather a fair amount of stuff-- rope, for some reason is included in your loot. You always saw people in the movies get rope, so you figure you’ll find some use for it.

There aren’t any baseball bats, but you do find a hammer and a paring knife. It’s small, but better than nothing. You load up on the dog food, and even manage to haul two huge bags of kibble into your car. As you load it up, you can’t shake the feeling of someone watching you. Even though you look around and make certain that you’re the only person present, the feeling doesn’t go away. You sort of wish you’d gone with those boys now.

You aren’t surprised when the street lights don’t turn on, but you take that as your signal to leave. Even though you want to scrounge for more supplies, you don’t want to risk it. Akaashi’s words of warning hang over your head like a humid fog.

As you drive home, you can’t stop chewing on your lip. Even with your headlights on, it’s hard to see, but you don’t want to turn on your brights and draw more attention to yourself. Just get home, lock the doors, and check in with Callie.

You park the car in your backyard because the garage door won’t open-- the power’s finally gone out. You close the backyard gate and lock it as soon as you’re out of the car, but somehow you still feel uneasy.

As you enter your dark home, you softly call out Indie’s name, and you hear her scamper up to you.

“Good girl,” You whisper, and scratch her ear. You decide to leave the larger groceries in the car for now, as you don’t want to go back outside and keep making trips of transferring the supplies into your house. For now, you need to sleep so that you can ignore the hunger in your belly and stretch out your rations just a little further.

Indie guides you up the stairs and into your bedroom as you set your bag down heavily. You come across your phone with dismay, finding that it hasn’t charged at all since you left, and is now at 7%. You bite your lip, and open up the almost abandoned group chat.

 9:57pm

Me: callie im gonna come to ohio soon. I think we are gonna lose connection tho. Idk if this will even send, but ill see u in ohio. I love you.

 The message doesn’t send. You shudder out a sigh, and you’re grateful when Indie nuzzles into your side.

Your phone finally shuts off, though it’s useless now, anyway. You crawl into your bed and Indie curls up next to you, and you fall into an uneasy sleep.

[-]

“Shh!”

You jolt awake at the hissing sound that’s coming from downstairs. Indie is tense and alert, and she licks your elbow. You sit up, and vaguely note the time: 3:37am.

There’s some shuffling, and you see the beam of what you assume to be a flashlight shakily illuminate the walls downstairs. You didn’t close your bedroom door when you came in, because you assumed that you were alone.

‘Stupid…’ You think to yourself as you grip Indie’s collar. She begins to growl, but you shush her quickly, though she flattens her ears back at you. Letting out a shaky breath, you crawl off of your bed as silently as you can manage, and reach for the hammer and paring knife in your bag.

Indie follows you as you venture into the hallway, and you perch behind the bars of your stairs as the hushed conversation down below becomes clearer.

“Just find whatever food you can and let’s go.” A deep male voice cuts through the silence.

“We need to check the car! There’s nothing here.” A stranger male voice answers, and giggles. “We should find the girl instead.”

You tense, and grip the hammer a little tighter.

“I don’t care about her. I just want her stuff.” The deep voice asserts, and you wonder what you should do next. Storm downstairs and hammer them to death? You’ve never fought anybody before, let alone killed someone. Your hands are becoming clammy, and you don’t notice the pregnant pause in the conversation downstairs.

It isn’t until you see a head of brown hair come into view that you’re snapped from your thoughts. Indie can’t help herself-- she barks, and bolts down the stairs before you can stop her. The two boys yell in surprise, and you watch as she tackles the tall one with brown hair. Meanwhile, the other one comes into view-- he has large, droopy eyes with spiked red hair, and he looks excited when he catches sight of you.

“There she is!” He coos, and begins to walk upstairs. You gasp, and you know in this split second that your home is no longer yours-- you need to get away. In one fluid motion, you run into your room to grab your single bag of groceries. It’s heavy, but you don’t notice as adrenaline rushes through your veins.

When you turn to run down the stairs, the red-head catches you by both of your upper arms. He licks his chapped lips, and your knee jerks out to hit his groin. He yelps and doubles over, and you fly down the stairs.

“Indie!” You whistle, and she actually bounds from the living room over the couch, to skid by your side. You swipe the car keys off the counter, rip the sliding glass door open, and use the fob to unlock the car. You open the passenger for Indie, she leaps in as you toss the bag and your hammer and knife in behind her, you slam the door closed, and hop over the hood of the car.

As you turn to open the driver’s side door, you watch as the red-head runs in slow motion from your stairs to the exit to your backyard. You don’t breathe or shake as you turn the ignition, throw the car in reverse, then drive, and plow through your flimsy backyard gate as you push your little soccer van to its limits.

Tires skid as you swerve onto the street, and you press down so hard on the gas, that a few minutes later, you don’t register that you’re going 90 miles an hour in the suburbs. Houses pass you at incredible speed, and you ease up on the pedal when Indie licks your cheek. You stare straight ahead, and subconsciously, you drive towards your high school. Those three boys were nice to you-- they warned you, and you didn’t listen. They even tried to help you and include you, and you flat out denied them.

You slam on the brakes as you turn into Karasuno High’s parking lot. It’s only now that you realize that you didn’t fasten your seat belt, and you shut off the car with a shaky breath. The front of the school looms over you, and you wonder for a moment if they’re even here-- was it all a joke? What if they turn you away because you were such a bitch earlier? No matter how many scenarios you run through your head, you come to the same conclusion every time: you can’t go back home, and you’re already here, so you may as well investigate. You grab your hammer and get out of the car, and Indie follows behind. You close and lock the doors, pocketing the keys, and turn towards the school you’ve known for three and a half years.

The front gates are locked, of course. You wander the perimeter of the school, Indie trotting beside you the whole way. The school looks different in the dark-- it feels different, too. It’s like you’re walking in a dream, or some sort of in-between space. You shouldn’t be awake, and you definitely shouldn’t be here, but you are. It’s strange. Everything is bathed in moonlight, so it’s all a very specific shade of blue that makes you feel like you’re underwater.

You come upon the gym in the back of the school, and you’re startled to hear voices coming from inside. You tip-toe up to the doors, and Indie sniffs curiously. 

“If your leg gets cut off, would it hurt?”

“Please just go to sleep.”

“Duh!” A third voice chimes in, and the second voice groans.

“How, though?” The first voice presses.

“‘Cause your leg got cut off, dumbass.” Third voice answers.

“Where’re you gonna feel the pain?”

“In your leg…” The third voice trails off.

“Exactly, man. How’re you gonna feel the pain in your leg if--”

“--if your leg is gone?!” The first and third voice finish together, and you hear the second person groan.

“I’m going outside.” He says, and as his voice gets louder, you stumble away from the door just as it opens.

You blink rapidly and your jaw drops-- Akaashi stands in front of you, brows furrowed and eyes wide. You can’t believe they’re actually here.

“Akaashi?” Someone calls from inside. Akaashi opens his mouth to respond, but glances at Indie when she sniffs his hand curiously. He pets her absent-mindedly as his gaze wanders back to yours.

Bokuto and Kuroo pop up behind him a second later, and they’re just as surprised as Akaashi. Indie sniffs them in turn, and her tail begins to wag.

You drop your hammer with a thud, and sniffle like a toddler before letting out a sob you didn’t know you’d been holding.

“C-can I stay with you?”

[goldenxsunshine]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

I was tagged by the lovely @softboylwt​, thank you darling ✨

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? edit: so I realized I didn’t read that correctly the first time around, but I don’t usually brush my hair, tho I do have one that’s brown

2. a food you never eat? it’s not really a food but i never eat plain butter, like in cakes and all that, when it’s cooked, alright, but on bread, in sandwiches or anything else it just grosses me out to no avail!! I can’t even touch it!! Also any sea food is a no-go for me, i just can’t!!

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? i think it can depend, but in general i tend to get cold very easily

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was catching up on niall and liam’s live and feeling very emotional about it

5. what is your favourite candy bar? here we call it kinder tranche au lait, which literally translates to kinder milky slice but idk if that’s what it’s called!! Anyways, it’s the kinder that you have to keep in the fridge with the creamy white thing in the middle, i just love it!!

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? Nope never, i don’t really care much for any sports tbh afdhkj

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? “good night” to my little sister about five seconds ago

8. what is your favourite ice cream? salted caramel!!!!!! it’s my LIFE

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. do you like your wallet? I do actually!! I had another pink one that was too big but i received a small dark blue one for my birthday that’s just perfect

11. what was the last thing you ate? something very very VERY good!! it was a polish recipe: tomato soup with some homemade kluski (some sort of pasta i guess you could say) and basil

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope

13. the last sporting event you watched? as i said before i really don’t care much for any sports so i think the answer is none, if i did watch one well it was so long ago that i forgot afskdly

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? sweet popcorn OR those with some chocolate you can buy, both are equally good

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? well technically the last message i sent was on here to, but if we mean irl texting then an old friend of mine

16. ever go camping? nope not really, i went a couple times when i was younger with some friends but not anymore

17. do you take vitamins? nooe i don’t, but i should

18. do you go to church every sunday? nope

19. do you have a tan? as of right now, only the beginning of one on my back

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? oof tough one, but im gonna have to go with pizza!! I actually had some today

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? nope not anymore

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? small white ones, sometimes black

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? wellll since i still haven’t got my driver’s licence i can assure you that i’ve never once driven above the speed limit in my life 😌

24. what terrifies you? loneliness

25. look to your left, what do you see? i can see my bedroom door as well as my cupboard and the front door a bit further

26. what chore do you hate? washing the toilets

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?  i have no idea tbh ajdsfkds 5sos maybe

28. what’s your favourite soda? i actually don’t really drink any sodas, but if i had to get one i’d say sprite or lemon iced tea

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i don’t think we have any drive-through here, or if there are i’ve never been, so i’m gonna say fast food place

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my little sister

31. favourite cut of beef? i have no fucking clue, i only eat beef when i eat burgers so that one i guess jsdkajl

32. last song you listened to? some song off a random sport playlist i listend to when i was working out earlier, it’s called hometown apparently

33. last book you read? if we’re talking last book i read through but haven’t actually finished yet, it’s une bête au paradis (a beast in paradise)

34. favourite day of the week? i don’t really have one tbh, i just know it’s not monday nor sunday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? yes i can actually ajkdjfld, well i need to say it thorugh once in order (mentally is enough) but yeah i can

36. how do you like your coffee? i absolutely despise coffee, in any form

37. favourite pair of shoes? a pair of shoes that i found in italy a few years ago, but i just can’t describe them asjdhfk they have too many things idk how to say in english

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? i’d say usually it’s around 11pm or midnight, but lately it’s been more like 1 or 2 am

39. at what time do you normally get up? again usually would depend on my classes, but lately it’s between 8 am and 10 am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i literally cannot choose one!! boht can be so magical, but maybe i’ll go with sunset cause i’m almost never up for sunrise ajdfkjl

41. how many blankets are on your bed? only one

42. describe your kitchen plates? i still live wiht my parents so they’re just plain white, but modern-ish 

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i don’t really have one, but the only alcohol i can enjoy drinking is vodka so anything with that i guess

44. do you play cards? ugh way too much, or well not anymore, but when i was in high school it was literally all my friends’ favourite thing to do and tbh i just don’t really like them

45. what colour is your car? again i don’t have a driving’s licence adjfhk

46. can you change a tire? there are too many questions concerning driving in this jadshkj, nope or well never tried, who knows maybe i have a secret talent

47. what is your favourite state/province? i haven’t been in the US, or well i went when i was much younger so i don’t remember!! But i’ll pick a country and say tulum, Mexico!! i went there once a few years ago and it was just magical

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? i haven’t had a lot of experience in real jobs i guess, but one of my favourite closest to a job thing was the internship i started right before this whole mess in something called psychopédagogie (i haven’t got a clue what it might be in english im sorry)

49. how did you get your biggest scar? i don’t have many scars and the few i have are pretty small, but i guess the “biggest” would be on my foot, i was at a friend’s for the summer and we were going around in quads, then there was a little slope and my dumbass panicked and pushed the accelerator instead of the brake and well....we bumped into a littel tree and yeah adfjhkjs

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? i haven’t done much today i don’t think, but maybe helping to make dinner ? idk

I apologize in advance if you’ve already done this, but i’m tagging: @essercipertuttienonperse, @rosegoldeyelids, @ltpolari, @watermelonsugarhii, @bigsparrowharry, @herefortommo, @arouiis, @farmjpg and @strawberryhabit

[binkysteebnpewter]

All 85 of em

I despise you a little

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not to me, really. I value someone’s outlook on life and attitude more than something that will continually change as we age.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. I believe so, personally. I won’t date if I can’t see myself planning to marry her in the future. I’ve stated it before, but Home is what I want to find in life. Home is a person, to me. Home is someone I feel safe and loved by, respected on equal ground— someone who can be completely comfortable and themselves with me, and vice versa.

3. Are you a virgin?

No, but it wasn’t consentually lost.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Yes 🥺💗 I’m dating my princess, @andyl394

5. Are you in love?

Love is a very strong word, I used it lightly for so many years and still sometimes do— but I’d say I’m falling in love.

I believe you never fall in love like it’s a place you sit, I believe you are always falling in love with whomever you date because everyday you wake up a different person then you were the day before.

6. Are you single this year?

No 🥺💗 I have my lovely baby Andy

7. Can you commit to one person?

Yep ✨

8. Describe your crush

She’s really sweet, she has really pretty hair. She’s respectful and adorable. Her laughing and giggles sound like cute little bells, and her smile is so, so bright.

9. Describe your perfect mate

Respectful, Thoughtful, Communicative, and Understanding.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Somewhat, I suppose. I believe you can begin to fall in love, but never really immediately be in love at only a first look— but I guess I base this on the fact I value a persons outlook and attitude more than their appearance.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes. I’d love to get married one day.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess it would really depend on what they had done to me.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Not really. I’m not a very jealous person.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

MY PRINCESS 🥺💗 she’s my girl 😚

15. Do you have any piercings?

I have your regular ear piercings 🤷🏻‍♀️

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet 😔

17. Do you like kissing in public?

I’m okay with it, I have nothing against it even though I’m very easy to embarrass

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes, I work on a farm.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

My princess 🥺💗

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Mmm... I don’t know?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course I can! I despise when people cheat on their significant others 🥺

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I’m not sure, that’s not a single person question for me because marriage isn’t something you use to lock someone in. Marriage is a partnership, you work together to lift each other up— as you should be doing before marriage even imo.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

I am in a relationship 😚💗

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yes.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

No, I’m very emotional but I used to always be hesitant with love.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

I choose not to answer

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

No.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yes.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Not really.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No, I used to be very reserved with falling in love.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Yes, I love music so I wrote a song but never gave it to her.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

No.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

I wouldn’t let them wander unless I had her consent, I value consent very strongly— even outside of anything sexual, I’ll ask if I can can someone before I do.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

Three years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

No one.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

0

47. How old are you?

19

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would encourage them to confess to them.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her smile and laugh.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Depends on what they did.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes, she tried to kill me.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes, my late best friend Lily.

55. Share a relationship story.

I dated a girl who told me I couldn’t hang out with my own older brother 🙃

56. State 8 facts about your body

I have freckles.

I’m pretty chubby.

Everyone thinks I’m sunburnt but I just have really red skin on my arms and face.

I sunburn way too easily though.

I have a lot of scars, both from doing things I love and mental illness.

I have brown eyes.

I have auburn hair

My hair reaches past my rear and it’s in between curly and wavy because I’m getting rid of the damage my mother did to it.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

I hope everyone realizes how horrible you treat people behind their backs.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Be understanding, don’t be afraid to commicate, be honest, be respectful, have an awareness of emotions.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

No thanks 👀 I want to keep my face off my blog 🥺

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

I think I’m a year older, or a few months older.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their attitude.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Hug me from behind, play with my hair, or just have fun and deep conversations with me.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

I know that some others may not define sex the same way that I do, and that’s okay. I grew up learning and being told sex was something where you engaged in sexual activities with someone, so that’s always have I’ve defined it— a sexual activity.

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Well, I suppose I think of it like this. You and your partner probably agreed to be monogamous. You have that agreement and trust for the other to stay faithful. If your partner goes out and has a sexual or emotional affair with someone else then its cheating. The essence of cheating is breaking your partners trust.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

I don’t know

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

I don’t know

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Something calm and relaxing for both people, maybe not somewhere very crowded.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

I’m a lesbian, I like girls ��

69. What turns you off?

Inconsiderate taking, disrespectfulness, humiliation, degrading things, and anger.

70. What turns you on?

I choose not to air this to everyone— 👀

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Im opting to not put this into the world—👀

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Okay, I’ll answer this. I have a thing for praise, I like to praise others and I like to be praised.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Flowers, make something personal, or bake something with me 🥺💗

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

I don’t really look for superficial things, I think. I really look at depth of knowledge, emotions, or their character

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

It wasn’t romantic at all, but my late best friend Lily picked me up off my knees once in elementary after I was forced to kneel on rice for not being religious (at a private Christian school 😅)

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I bought my late best friend Lily an outfit she loved but her mother wouldn’t let her get, and I embroidered the outfit like Lily had talked about wanting to do.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

I don’t mind it, other peoples ages in their relationships don’t effect me personally. As long as it’s not pedophilia, I’ll rock a pedophile into the asphalt any day.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I was never able to tell anyone what happened to me, so he got away with what he did because I was too afraid to speak out.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I can’t remember the last time I felt jealousy tbh.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

I told Andy I loved her earlier 😚💗

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Andy, the fam, and pretty much all my friends. Everyone is attractive, I don’t consider anyone ugly 🥺

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

I last hugged my brother

83. Who was your first kiss with?

A person who should not be named. They’re the Voldemort in my life 😒

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

They cheated on me and abused me in multiple ways.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

That’s how Andy and I met, we met online 🥺💗

And I love her very much, she’s my gorgeous princess 👑

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have 

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that. 

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if  i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

[swimmingafterdark]

a fools guide for not wanting to die anymore

* (i dont want to die anymore, here is how i did it) *

1. never make a suicide joke again. im not fucking kidding around. you need to make an effort to change how you think about things. its okay to mess up or slip up, but everytime consciously think to yourself or even say outloud “that is not funny and i shouldnt be joking about something so serious”

2. you know what, fuck it no more self deprecating jokes. no more “i suck” or “im not worth it” or whatever we arent doing that anymore. even if you are joking, your brain and soul do not know the difference. your brain and soul still believe it, and it keeps up the cycle. it doesnt mean you cant make fun of yourself, just work to do so more positively. (example: when i draw a picture i dont one hundred percent like, instead of saying “my art is trash” i replace that with “you know i think its time we replace the mona lisa” you make a joke but you still build yourself up.)

3. manifest success,

4. come up with goals even if they are silly or trivial

5. if you see something you like, say it out loud i dont care what the circumstances are. you walk down the street with your friends and someone walking in the other direction has cute pants you say it out loud, to your friends or the stranger i dont care. it doesnt matter how spastic you look it will help. compliment everything you see, at least 4 per day.

6. care more

7. get close to people. the more people you care about the better

8. hug more

9. kiss more

10. when you have intrusive thoughts, picture an edgy angsty 13 year old and tell them to go somewhere else

11. cut out negativity. take negative energy out of your life. you dont need it anymore. (evolving, involves eliminating)

12. lean on the people who care about you. (dont feel guilty about it, they love you, its okay)

13. try something new, as much as you need to remove energy you need to gain good energy. i recommend creating things or exercise whether its writing or doodling, or taking your dog for a walk.

14. drink tea and wake up early.

15. (the earlier you go to bed the better,) nothing good happens after 2 am.

16. interrupt your anxious thoughts with “what if everything works out” & “what if i end up okay”

17. find something you kinda want to do. whether its a city to travel to, or a small local band playing a show in your city, get your ass out of the house and experience something

18. get your ass out of the house. thats its own statement

19. the clock doesnt stop, if you give yourself time, things will change. this much is inevitable. if you want positive change you have to work for it.

20. the way things are talked about isnt usually the whole story. people love to talk about caterpillars becoming butterflies as if its just that easy, but in reality, in those weird little cocoons, a caterpillar completely dissovles itself into acidy goo. if you are a mess right now, if you feel alone in your bedroom in the dark late at night, acknowledge your goo, keep going.

21. meditate.

22. start small and build up.

23. work on your imagination, practice.

24. go outside when it rains (i cant explain this one, just do it)

25. if you want confidence and dont know how to get it, a really good way is to start with other people. walk into class and tell someone how pretty their hair is or take the time to notice how well the barista made your coffee. when you start seeing everyone as beautiful, at some point youll realize that you are everyone too.

26. listen to your parents favorite music, and if you dont like your parents try a friends.

27. crying is cleansing, dont be afraid to let loose

28. cleaning is cleansing, clean your room, dust your windows and fans, vacuum the carpet.

29. always look for pretty things.

30. if you feel guilty venting or ranting about things, ask your audience if they are in the space for it. if they say yes, great you’re good to go, if not you understand it isnt the best time. by asking this, your buddies will see that you are willing to respect boundaries as well as understanding their emotional needs.

31. stop making excuses

32. cry for help without guilt tripping or humor coating. its as simple as that.

33. practice moral honesty. tell people the truth, try not to hurt them.

34. you cant heal in the same environment that made you sick, get out get space.

35. if you cant say something out loud, understand that its okay, write it down.

36. stop knocking on doors from the past.

37. find one thing that brings you joy

38. chase joy forever.

39. dont waste one second.

40. tell people you love them/appreciate their presence in your life.

41. tell more jokes, even corny puns.

42. laugh at everything, even if its forced.

43. find something you can have faith in, and fall in love with it. (G-d, the Universe, Music, Science)

44. you cant take a bath, drink lemon water, and do a facemask to cure your depression, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt do those things.

45. eat your fruits and veggies

46. hang out with your mom (if you dont have one or like yours, make friends with a cool adult as a parental figure & hang out with them. it might sound weird but it was one of the best things i ever did. i love you kel)

47. put twice as much fabric softener in your laundry as you need (&dont forget a dryer sheet for the ol razzle dazzle)

48. change your bed sheets every week

49. drink more water

50. stop apologizing

51. rebuild in private

52. if you dont know who you are, honor this moment, you get to create yourself from scratch, take the time to create someone you would love

53. read more books

54. strip down, and look at yourself in the mirror, picture yourself covered in scars, picture your skeleton, and picture yourself decomposing in the ground

55. learn to be okay with being alone, but dont get too comfy

56. work harder to be mature

57. it only matters how you see you, not how they see you.

58. i know this is a lot, step by step you can do this

[yung-gunshot]

In questions!

thank you denna @kisamas

1. What takes up too much of your time? rn its mainly vibeo game and anime. i still play djmax respect like almost every single day plus also playing ace combat 5 & 7 and i recently finished watching ergo proxy which was pretty cool

2. What makes your day better? cooking something yummy like pasta or curry makes my day better and just generally playing games something that distracts me from my problems at the moment

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? i made pasta with sausage, broccoli, and spinach for dinner and it was really good 

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hm i havent really thought about this but i think it would be cool to see the netsphere from blame! but without being involved in all the fucked up stuff i just love the architecture 

5. Are you good at giving advice? i would like to think so but none of my friends i know irl reach out to me so maybe i think not i just speak bollocks 

6. Do you have a mental illness? hm not sure, i never got officially diagnosed but im pretty sure i may have developed depression ever since i graduated hs

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? i dont think i have 

8. What musician inspires you the most? not sure about musicians but deathgrips and jpegmafia have kinda inspired me at the moment just because they make whatever they want without being afraid of what people think of them

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yea its happened twice now

10. What’s your dream date? i dont really think about this just because i dont think it will ever happen but i think just hanging out and going hiking anywhere would be nice and i really enjoy checking out new places to eat in town

11. What do others notice about you? not really sure about this question tbh maybe that im really easy to get along with? and i dont like the fact that i exist outside of my own perception 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? isolation? but also i tend to bounce my leg and play with my hair a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? nope 

14. How many exes do you have? 2

15. How many songs are in your playlist? im not really sure i just have 3 playlists on spotify that most songs go to depending on the mood they are pretty huge though so id say at least 100 per playlist

16. What instruments can you play? i used to be able to play the trumpet in elementary 

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have lots of landscape pics from the places i go camping and hiking then its just anime girls memes etc

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i think it would be really nice to see japan, korea, and indonesia plus also visit every national park here in the us and some parts in mexico like cancun and puebla 

19. What’s your zodiac? aquarius 

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but most of the time i think its stupid 

21. What is happiness to you? just living a life where i dont have to maintain a certain image of myself and free from the pressures of modern day life and capitalism 

22. Are you going through anything right now? yea i still havent registered for fall classes yet and also havent been able to find a job either and i lost my friendship with my best friend a month ago

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? i think telling my best friend i grew feelings for them is by far the worst thing ive done to date and its just something im never going to forgive myself for

24. What’s your favorite store? winco, samber and la chiquita (local hispanic stores) and grocery outlet

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope

27. Do you have a favorite album? ive had a few as my all time fav like Emily’s D+Evolution , To Pimp A Butterfly and Toxicity, rn though im really enjoying Dog Whistle by Show Me the Body, Infest the Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Veteran by Jpegmafia

28. What do you want for your birthday? maybe some new cardigans and candles would be nice

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? i think people see me as a quiet and distant person because i dont talk that often when meeting new people

30. What age do you seem according to most people? my age (21) -/+ 1

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? i keep it on the corner of my bed next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? bollocks, bellend, fuck, worm 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 25

34. What’s the youngest you would date? maybe 20 but they would have to be a very specific type of person for me to consider dating them, safe bet with 21

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? art teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it used to be hip hop for a really long time but now i like rock and metal but really ill listen to anything except for country and edm. ive also just been listening to a ton of vibeo game and anime music too 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i honestly think if the world wasn’t dictated by money i would want to live in mexico or japan tbh i like the us but just for the nature and landscapes 

38. What is your current favorite song? Camp Orchestra by Show Me the Body

39. How long have you had this blog for? i think i started in the middle or end of 2015

40. What are you excited for? i cant really say im looking forward for anything other than death stranding coming out and the dlc for ace combat 7

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im a better listener than i am a talker bc when i talk i cant even understand what im saying sometimes. listening is much more important to me bc i can actually process what people are saying 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i talked to my adviser today and made some food and took my dog out for a walk at the park

43. What do you want for Christmas? i would like more board games to play with my cousins and friends and maybe some new pants too

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont know about best grades but its usually my painting and drawing courses 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? i honestly dont know and the only thing that comes to mind is being a teacher? i just live day to day 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i guess after i graduated hs we were talking before we graduated but things sorta fell apart and i realized my feelings a bit too late to change anything 

48. What age do you want to get married? not sure since i cant see myself being taken seriously enough to want to marry but i guess ill say any age before 40

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i dont quite remember but i recall wanting to do space travel so maybe an astronaut? or astronomer

50. What do you crave right now? emotional stability, some taro milk tea, and more pasta\

im gonna tag @deredere @euthymiclurker and @dementatree :)

[blackaquokat]

43 and acting attorney? Cause that sounds like something Actor would say XD

It does, doesn’t it? I had one fluffy draft of this, but it didn’t turn out how I wanted, so here’s a load of angst instead.

43. “Youhave no idea how much I want you right now.”

Oo00oO

Mark looks up from his drink to see his dearest attorneyfriend slide into the booth seat across from him.

“I had a feeling you’d be here,” they say by way ofgreeting.

“You know me too well.” Mark swallows the last of his drinkbefore they can take the glass from him.

Freddy’s Pub has always been a favorite spot for their small group of friends. Now it has become a haven of tequila shots for Mark to forget that he’s been sleeping in a cold bed for months.

They roll their eyes. “I’m here to take you home.”

“What if I don’t want to leave yet?” he challenges.

“I have no problem with dragging you out by your ear,asshole. I’m giving you the option to walk out with some dignity.”

Mark sighs. He touches his cold wedding ring out of purehabit.

Why is he still wearing it again?

He moves to his feet, stumbling only a little, and beginswalking towards the entrance. The attorney moves beside him, one hand on hiselbow.

They don’t move him out of the way of another patron fast enoughand Mark bumps into the guy hard enough for a drink to spill.

“Will you watch where you’re going, bastard?”

“It was an accident,” the attorney says, stepping forwardwith crossed arms. “No need for that kind of behavior.”

“Why don’t you stay out of my business, you stupid—”

Mark should have walked away, but he’s feeling empty and hopelessand damn it, anyone who speaks like that to his attorney deserves whatever theyget.

He only gets one punch in before the guy’s buddy knocks Markonto his back, chin throbbing in pain.

Through blurry vision, he sees his attorney block several hitsbefore beating both men away. He hears the bartender threaten to call the cops ifthe fight doesn’t stop.

Then the attorney kneels beside him, knuckles split andbruised, a small cut on their cheek, their curls in disarray, old eyes brightwith adrenaline.

Have they always looked this breathtaking?

(The answer is yes, and that he’s always known this. He just tried not to indulge those observations when he had Celine waiting at home.)

“You alright?” they ask him.

He giggles like an idiot at the question. They look to be inworse shape than him and he is so verydrunk. “You have no idea how much I want you right now,” he slurs.

It’s a testament to his alcohol-addled mind that he doesn’teven think to be horrified by the concession, by the realization that after allthese years, he still wants to trace the lines of their face, run his fingers throughtheir hair and just…

He thought that marrying Celine would drive away thesefeelings for the attorney, but maybe they have always been there.

Well shit, what does that say about him now that Celine isgone?

He’s so caught up at the tragic amusement of it all that hedoesn’t see the flicker of pain in the attorney’s face.

They shake their head. “You’re a moron,” they comment asthey drag him to his feet.

Mark doesn’t speak again until he realizes they brought himto their house, not his.

“Why are we here?”

“So I can keep an eye on you. Clearly none of your employeesare keeping you from dying of alcohol poisoning.”

Mark doesn’t dignify that with any kind of clarification.

(Benjamin would probably try to help more if Mark didn’tkeep locking himself in his room.)

The next morning, Mark wakes up on the attorney’s couchfeeling like a half-eatencorpse. There’s a glass of water and some pills on thecoffee table in front of him, along with a note. It says they went to buygroceries.

He lingers on the couch until they return home an hour and ahalf later because he has nowhere else he wants to go, nothing else he wants todo. He can’t even muster up the energy to make breakfast for himself or for the friend who took care of his sorry ass int he first place.

And he has a vague recollection of flirting with theattorney last night. He should probably apologize for that.

They come through the front door with grocery bags on eacharm. “Good, you’re awake. Help me put this stuff away.”

Mark stares up at them and, before he loses his nerve, “Look,I think I said some things last night, and…”

Shit, this is harder than he thought.

They stand in place a moment longer, and he thinks he sees ahint of regret line their face.

“You were drunk.”

They walk to the kitchen without another word, and it occursto Mark too late to follow after and help with the groceries.

Neither of them bring it up again.

But sometimes Mark wants too.

But he wants lots of things he can’t have.

Oo00oO

@starcrossedforever87 , @dontworryaboutanything , @beereblogsstuff , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @axolittle-boi , @falseroar , @intemperantiae , @ren-mon , @memetoyoko , @soul-wolf , @marki-dumb , @withjust-a-bite , @raimeyl , @im-also-dead-inside , @timelords13 , @ur-fairy-god-dragon , @conceitedink , @unknown-maned-wolf , @ohnoimshook , @mayazen , @skyewardlight , @gabs-ink , @purple-anxiety-blog

[chimcharstar]

1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

NO

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 46

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: super nervous, only one last filler chapter and then the conclusion of the story (in 3 chapters). im stressed lol! if youre still here after all this time, I LOVE YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here arethe 2 requests i used! THANK YOU SO MUCH! (sorry its not really surprise birthday sex? but its a surprise... and its birthday sex lol!)

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 46 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

September 13th, 2018

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight?" my boyfriend asked as I tried to do something with my hair. "It's my only day off, I have a show tomorrow, I shouldn't be up too late."

"Of course I'm sure!" I argued with a frown, staring at him back from the mirror's reflection. "It's your birthday, you deserve a least a few pints. Besides, since when are you so reasonable?"

I bent closer to the mirror to put on lipstick and he appeared next to me, making me smile immediately. We had been through so much together, and I couldn't pretend the past few years haven't felt like roller coasters, but at the same time, my life would be so different without him. Obviously, we could have just stayed best friends, and perhaps, right now I would be dating someone I never even met, but no matter who it would have been, I knew it wouldn't have been my soulmate. Because my soulmate was staring right back at me through that mirror and everything made sense when he was near.

"I would be perfectly fine with you and I, staying here all night, completely naked, and calling room service." he pointed out, slipping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck.

I felt a shiver run up my spine and my lips curled again.

"Oh you mean a day that ends with a 'Y'?" I half-joked as we both chuckled. "Seriously, when did you become an old man?"

He pulled away slightly to look at me and I turned my head, my eyes finding his. He was frowning with a smile and it made me smile too.

"Have we met?" he asked, raising his eyebrows before letting go of me with one of his arms and extending his hand to me. "Niall Horan, the oldest soul you'll ever meet. Nice to meet you, beautiful."

I laughed a bit and turned his way, cupping his face and running my thumbs on his cheeks. "Nice to meet you, Niall Horan. I'm Olivia Fontaine, your soulmate."

He moved closer and his lips curled into a fond smile. "Oh I know." he whispered before pressed his lips against mine.

I felt something stir in my chest and he deepened the kiss, making me whimper low in his mouth. "Niall..."

"Mm, how about we get naked for half an hour before we actually get a few pints?"

I chuckled against his mouth and shook my head, my lips still attached to his. "Mm, no, or else we'll just stay in this hotel room all night, and you know it."

He groaned and I chuckled again, taking a step back.

"Come on, let me get my dick wet, pet."

My eyes got bigger and my jaw dropped before I chuckled. "No! We're going out!"

He sighed with a smile and finally shrugged, giving in. "Fine, darling."

I hurried to get ready so he wouldn't change his mind again and we decided to take a cab to make sure we could both drink. I was a bit nervous and I kept looking at my watch and when we got there, he paid and I got out of the taxi before he grabbed my wrist gently.

"Hey, are you okay?" his tone was soft and I could hear concern in his voice. It made me tilt my head and smile.

"I'm okay, don't worry."

Without thinking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside as my eyes roamed around. My lips curled when my eyes found Louis and I suddenly felt relieved. He was smiling so I was probably not too late. I noticed everyone getting up and heard my boyfriend curse next to me but he didn't have time to say anything. They all started yelling a loud "SURPRISE!" as they raised their drinks up. I let my head fall back on my shoulders with a sigh and chuckled as all the anxiety left my body.

"Fucking finally!" I let out, squeezing my boyfriend's hand before letting him go as he laughed and thanked everyone, shaking hands and kissing cheeks.

I let myself fall next to Louis who just laughed and when I turned to him, he was looking at me with amused eyes.

"What, love?"

"It was not easy, he kept saying he wanted to stay home and fuck!" I argued, shaking my head a bit. "I'm not built to resist a good fuck from someone so sexy!"

"You need to tell your cute little cunt that it needs a break from time to time."

I laughed and hit his arm, making him laugh too. "Don't talk about my intimate body parts, please."

"Your genitals are no secret for me, my queen." he laughed again, making me grimace and groan low.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." I mumbled before I felt a hand on top of mine.

"Me too." my boyfriend replied as I raised my nose up.

"Neil, your girlfriend was just telling me that you're sexually obsessed with her."

"LOUIS!" I let out as I heard my boyfriend start laughing.

"It's okay though," Louis added, ignoring me. "She added that she's just as obsessed with you anyway."

They both laughed and I rolled my eyes with a small smile. They started chatting and catching up and after a while, Niall got up to go talk with Julia. I leaned my chin on the palm of my hand, holding myself with my elbow on the table, and I just stared shamelessly at Niall who was now laughing with his friend, bringing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to kiss the top of her head. I was not even jealous. If I had seen that two years ago, I would probably have cried, but at this exact moment, with Niall's friends around the table all gathered together for his birthday, I realized that all of this was real, and it was meant to last. It was totally different than the first time. I trusted him now, and it was easy to trust him because he had changed, and so did I. He had proved to me that he really sincerely loved me and I was pretty sure I had proved that I wouldn't throw tantrums at him the way I used to. I remember thinking it was not easy to date Niall, and perhaps I even told him at some point but now? Now it was easy and it felt natural. It was meant to be.

"I'm happy that you're happy." I heard Louis whisper near my ear. "No one deserves it more than you."

I turned to look in his eyes, my chin still leaned against my hand. "I know someone who does. You."

After a few hours, everyone was getting drunk and when Niall sat back next to me, he leaned his arm on the back of my chair and moved closer. My lips curled more and I bit my bottom lip as I felt the warmth of his body emanate on mine.

"I still want you, you know." he let out probably a bit louder than he intended.

"Yea?" I asked, turning my head slightly to look at him with an amused smile.

"Mmhm, but we've already had sex in a bar." he pointed out with a cute grimace.

"Nee, we've had sex almost everywhere." I explained with a chuckle as he smirked at me.

"Nop, we never had sex on top of a table." he said but cut me as I opened my mouth to argue. "In a bar, I mean."

"And it's not gonna happen."

He leaned closer and brushed his lips against my jaw and down my neck as his hand reached for my thigh. My heart skipped a beat and I held my breath as my eyes fluttered. No one else had that effect on me. Even when we were kids, I'd feel all warm inside whenever he'd touch me. It's just some sort of connection I couldn't explain, like his skin against mine created an electric reaction that made me euphoric. It was not only sexual, it was way more than that, way deeper, and way more meaningful.

"You know everyone would fucking enjoy the show, right?"

I chuckled again. "That would scar them for life! Remember when Louis caught us having sex while we were camping?"

Niall groaned, leaving a few kisses under my ear. "Louis is weak."

I chuckled and turned my head enough to reach his mouth with mine. "Too bad we didn't drive here and that we don't have a car, we could just get in to fuck and come back."

He pulled away and stared in my eyes a few seconds before the left corner of his lips moved up. I raised my eyebrows, wondering what he was thinking about and when he talked, it took me a few seconds to realize he was not talking to me, even if he was still staring right in my eyes.

"Give me the keys to your car, Louis."

"What?"

"Mm, Niall, they all took a flight to get here, no one has a car." I pointed out, a bit distracted by how pretty he was.

This time, he looked away from me, probably to look at my best friend, but all I could focus on was the vein in his neck popping up. It made me want to run my tongue on it, and maybe nibble on his skin, too.

"I'm serious, Tommo." he insisted. "It's my birthday, let me borrow your car for twenty minutes."

I had no idea how long it took for Louis to agree but when Niall turned back to me with a bigger smirk, it made my inner thighs start throbbing. He bent closer, his lips almost touching mine, and I held my breath.

"Join me in five minutes."

He got up quickly and as soon as he left, I felt Louis grab my arm gently. "Please, take care okay? I rented this car, I don't want any trouble."

"Are you spending some time here?" I just asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yea, El is supposed to join me tomorrow."

I licked my lips and laughed a little. "And you say I'm obsessed with my boyfriend? Look at you!"

He chuckled too and shook his head. "Yea well, I won't deny it." he replied with a smile. "You should go, your boyfriend is waiting for you."

I smiled back and jumped on my feet, almost running to the front door. I was a bit tipsy and not very subtle but when I saw Niall leaning against a black car, I tilted my head and stopped a few feet away from him.

"Come on, petal." he said with a quick head movement. "That's what you get for not letting me get my dick wet earlier."

I laughed more and took a few steps his way, getting slowly closer to him. He moved slightly away from the car and looked down at me. We were very close to each other but we didn't touch and I licked my lips, tilting my chin up.

"It's your birthday. Tell me what you want."

It only took half a second for his lips to curl into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows at me, his gaze never leaving mine. I could feel my whole body throb in anticipation but all I really wanted was to please him.

"I want you to ride me. Just you, moving on top of me, your tits in my face, and my dick balls deep inside your cunt."

"That... can be arranged."

Quickly, he opened the door and sat behind the wheel and i rushed on the other side of the car to sit on the passengers seat. Niall started the car and it made me frown but I decided to focus on taking off my pants and panties, leaving them on the floor and finally smiled when I realized he went to park a little further.

"You're not supposed to drive." I pointed out, leaning near him to work on his pants. "Take the keys off and lean the seat a bit.”

He did as I asked and I tried to get on top of him to straddle him, hitting my head on the roof and making him laugh. It took me longer than I thought to actually sit on him and when I did, he was smiling at me, clearly amused. His hands reached for my thighs and I felt his thumbs brush gently on my skin.

"You're fucking adorable, you know that, right?"

I raised my nose up, slightly annoyed, and shrugged. "I don't want to be adorable right now, I want to make you hard."

"Come on, petal. Watching you do everything you can to make my birthday perfect is adorable. You being all clumsy is cute. And the fact that you're actually wetting my thighs right now is hot. They're not mutually exclusive." he explained, his palms running up my thighs. "You make me hard, petal. But I'm also drowning in all the love I have for you. Is that wrong?"

My traits softened and despite myself, I sighed and tilted my head, shaking it lightly. "No, of course not." I admitted in a whisper. "In fact, it's perfect."

"Mm, just like that little cunt of yours." he groaned, moving one of his hands between my legs and pressing his thumb on my clit. I stiffened and whimpered low, making him smile. "Come on, love. Take your shirt off."

I did as he asked and he brought his free hand on one of my breasts, kissing the parts he could see right up my bra as his thumb kept rubbing slowly and gently between my legs. I looked down, trying to see his lips brushing on me and sucking and biting on my skin, leaving tiny red marks. One of my hands moved to his head, my fingers slipping in his hair, and the other moved one of my bra straps down. He did the same with the other, exposing my breasts to him and his mouth found one of my nipples immediately. Instinctively, I ground down against him and my eyes fluttered close.

"Is that really what you want?" I asked in a breath. "A slow fuck outside in a car?"

"Mm no." he confessed, both his hands moving around me to unclasp my bra. "We have about 10 minutes."

I laughed a bit and moved on my knees, leaning slightly his way to make sure my head wouldn't hit the top of the car again, and finally sat on his cock. I didn't even have to hold it with my hand. For some reason, my body found his so easily and I couldn't help but think we were just part of a two-piece puzzle. I knew it was stupid, but the image seemed quite right.

"Fuck, I'll never get enough of your cock." I whispered, holding myself on his shoulders.

"I hope not!" he chuckled, his hands quickly reaching for my waist as I felt his fingers press on my skin.

I didn't wait for his instructions, I just started riding him, my hands in his hair, leaning against him, once again scared my head would hit the roof of the car. I heard him groan again as his hands slid to my ass and he gripped both cheeks hard, making me quiver slightly.

"That's exactly what I wanted, pet. You riding me and your tits in my face." he admitted, making me smile and bite my bottom lip. "Perfect birthday gift."

I felt his lips brush on my breasts and nipples, making them hard and making me whimper more. I started moving quicker over him, my clit rubbing harder on his lower stomach and my grip in his hair getting tighter. I was already so close and by the way he was holding my waist, I knew he was too.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum."

I gripped his hair tighter at his words and moaned loud when I felt his teeth in one of my breasts. My body started shaking over him and he pushed me down hard on his dick, moving his hips up to feel himself as deep as he could. I felt an orgasm invade my whole body, from my head to my toes, and when I came down from my high, Niall wrapped his arms around me and held me against him.

"Mm, best birthday ever."

I laughed and moved slightly away to look at him but his eyes fell on my breasts immediately. "You only say that because you're in your post-orgasm state."

"I say that because it's my birthday and the girl I'm in love with just rode me until I came inside her." he explained, looking up at me as I felt his hands reach for my breasts. "Can't think of a better way to spend my birthday."

I smiled and bent down to kiss him again, enjoying the way his mouth tasted. "I'm in love with you too."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, a bit worried, as his thumb brushed gently on the spot he bit on my breast.

"No, I loved it. It'll be sensitive for a few days, and every time I touch it, It'll remind me of right now."

He smiled against my lips and I did too. At this point, If someone had told me that my life would get even better than it was, I wouldn't have believed it. It was already perfect.

"Good, then how about we try the backseat, now?"

I laughed slightly. "Your friends are going to start wondering where you are."

"Let them."

                                                    ---

We both had a headache when we woke up the next morning but Niall's was definitely worse than mine. He still managed to smile and hug me so I knew it could definitely be worse. We were leaving soon since he had a show in an other state on the same night but stopped in a cafe. Niall groaned a bit when he noticed how long the line was and brought his hand to his forehead, massaging gently his skin as if it would help take the pain away. I tilted my chin up and licked my lips, not really sure he was actually looking at me because of his sunglasses, but his hands reached my waist and I sent him a small smile.

"Would you rather wait outside?" I proposed. "Get some fresh air maybe? I can wait in line, I don't mind."

He shook his head and moved his face down, making my lips curl more. I always liked when he pecked my lips gently and It made me close my eyes.

"No it's okay, I'd rather stay." he whispered. "If only to show you how grateful I am for the birthday sex."

I laughed against his lips and we remained mostly silent until we ordered our coffee. He groaned as we were about to get out and finally sighed.

"I need to go to the bathroom okay? I'll join you outside."

I nodded and took his cup from his hands before to step foot outside. It was a warm day and I just closed my eyes, trying to feel the sun on my face until I heard a familiar sound that immediately made my heart skip a beat.

"Hey, Liv, are you with Niall?"

I felt myself cringe despite myself, knowing some pap had taken a picture of me while I was hungover. They knew I was with my boyfriend, and I was not sure why exactly they insisted on asking but I decided to ignore the question. I also hated how they always used a nickname for me, as if we were close friends. It was definitely uncalled for and made me uncomfortable. I turned around, feeling my heartbeats accelerate, and closed my eyes, hoping Niall was going to come back soon. They kept throwing a bunch of questions at me but the only one I actually clearly heard was:

"How do you feel about that sex tape of you two going around?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. What was 'going around' online was anything but a sex tape. So yea, you could see us making out for a few seconds and talk... you could see us disappear behind a door and it didn't take much imagination to take a good guess at what we had done right after, but to qualify that as a 'sex tape' was totally eye rolling. I tried turning around again and walk a bit further but one of them moved very close to me and accidentally (i think?) hit my arm, making me almost drop my cup of coffee. I let out a curse word under my breath as some of the brown beverage fell on my shirt but also felt a hand on my waist, making me feel suddenly relaxed.

"Hey man, stay away from her okay?" I heard the guy start arguing but my boyfriend cut him off quickly. "No I'm serious. Give us space, we won't answer your question. Don't try me."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by the threatening tone Niall had used, and he quickly walked back closer to me, taking his cup from my hand and replacing it with his own hand before squeezing my fingers in his. We walked away quickly and got in a cab in silence. I sighed and leaned my head on the seat after Niall told the driver about the hotel we stayed in and I closed my eyes.

"This is the part that I hate." I admitted after a few minutes.

"The attention?" he asked before I turned my head his way, noticing the small smile playing on his lips.

"Well, yea. I mean, I've never been the kind to enjoy attention... but that specific kind of attention? It's horrible." I admitted, raising my nose up. "Being asked about rumors and gossips while they try to snap the ugliest picture of you they can just so they can sell it for a few pounds. There's nothing good about that kind of attention."

"Can't disagree with you." my boyfriend let out after a sigh. "Don't let them get to you though, it's not worth it."

We quickly walked back to the hotel and started packing again. We moved easily around the hotel room, like a well-rehearsed choreography, and I loved that. I was clumsy, that was true, but with Niall, everything seemed to come so naturally. Even if the rooms we stayed in were different, we still managed to complete specific tasks easily and without stepping on each other's feet, and after only half an hour, our bags were waiting by the door, as usual.

I sat on the bed, knowing we had about 15 minutes free before we left, and after a while, Niall sat next to me. It took him a few seconds to reach for my hand and when I looked up in his eyes, my lips curled a bit. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses anymore. Instead, he had put his black baseball cap on and I could see his eyes. Blue with a tint of yellow...

"The tour is almost over." he whispered in a soft tone. "Then we can go back home... wherever 'home' is for you. If you want to go back to England, then I'm good with that, too. If you want to spend some time in Ireland it's cool too. Just tell me so I can book a hotel room. We're not staying at my mom's again."

I chuckled and shook my head, making him smile too.

"I'm sorry. I'm exhausted and I'm not even the one that spends hours on stage every other night. Can't imagine how you feel."

"I'm used to it." he just said with a shrug. "I mean, if you need to go back to LA for your tv show, I understand too."

"Mm, no. I need to write the next season anyway before we can film anything so there's no rush." I explained, looking down at his hand holding mine. "Besides, I think I'd like to try writing a book or something."

It was the very first time I admitted that out loud but I thought it was obvious. After all, that tv show started off with chapters of a story that I posted every week on my dad's web site. I was not sure how it had turned into a tv show but the first idea I had had was definitely a book.

"A book about what?"

I looked back up in his eyes and let out a laugh at his facial expression. I could understand why it was scaring him, but I had already written about our story, there was no reason for me to write some more in a book. Maybe he was just scared that people would think it's about us, no matter what it was really about, but I just shrugged. I didn't really care what anyone thought. Well, except Niall.

"Ghosts. Or, robots. Or vampires." I pointed out, making him chuckle. "Nothing that has to do with you and me."

"Or superheroes, perhaps?" he proposed with a smirk, his eyebrows raised.

"Maybe, who knows?"

We stared at each other for a few seconds and I saw him swallow hard. It made me frown slightly and I could swear he was about to tell me something serious, something really important... but he just smiled more and bent down to kiss me hard.

"Come on, we need to go or we'll be late."

[alkalinerock]

50 questions air

thank you @kisamas i love talking about myself

1. What takes up too much of your time? im double fisting ffxiv and three houses rn im swear im gonna beat nier one day and i recently got bloodstained so i might fuck around with that :)

2. What makes your day better? eating something tasty and then im happy :) i also like it when i talk w/ the pals makes me feel good

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I am thinking about making mashed potatos i will i promise and it will b the best thing today

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? if i could visit some ffxiv maps like crystarium would b cool. n like, id visit inkopolis (i wanna b squiddo) and ryme city would be dope as hell would love a shinx buddy

5. Are you good at giving advice? i feel like i am but i feel like i still have so much more to learn about imparting wisdom. i was thinking about this the other night n as funny as this sounds i heard a lot of good advice on tumblr. mainly realizing how simple but important the small things are. “i’m proud of you” or “you did really well”. and i like giving advice i think it makes people feel less alone when theyre dealing with situations. if nothing else thats what i want to accomplish

6. Do you have a mental illness? idk i feel like i do but i never officially got diagnosed we got no health insurance. a lot of ppl tell me that im depressed and i think i believe it too but i always tell them im gonna remain impartial about it until i (finally) get a chance to talk to a profreshinal 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? ya a few years ago after class id take like, a nap daily. and most of the times i wake up unable 2 move. sometimes im in like, a bad position where my face is a little too close to my pillow and its hard to breathe. i havent gotten it in a while but it sure does stink. 

8. What musician inspires you the most? i dont think any musician INSPIRES me but octopath’s composer yasunori nishiki really makes me wanna be like “quit your job join my octopath band” 

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yeah it rocked but things didnt always work out but i learned a lot in the end 

10. What’s your dream date? never rly thought about this kinda stuff i dont really fantasize about my ideal date. i think the best things in life happen spontaneously. i think. 

11. What do others notice about you? i like 2 talk about myself and that im cute and smart funny and handsome and my meat is huge :) 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? i play a lot of osu!taiko so i have this finger tapping habit and a lot of like anxious tics like shaking my leg i bite my nails n whatever i do this n that a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? yea we’re like still best friends 

14. How many exes do you have? two too

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have many playlists i have soundcloud playlists for like. anime music/future funk/game music/etc. my spotify playlists have like. hundreds of songs. my youtube playlist also have like. hundreds of songs. some things i listen to on a daily basis i havent even saved so it just keeps growing. 

16. What instruments can you play? i used to b able to play geetar, piano, clarinent but ive forgotten everything since

17. What do you have the most pictures of? animals n other stuff

18. Where would you like to go before you die? oh wow uhhh like. i have general locations but nothing specific. it’d be nice to visit japan and see korea (finally) n then like new zealand. i know it doesnt sound exciting but i’d be happy to be anywhere. 

19. What’s your zodiac? tavros

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but i take astrology with a grain of sand anyways 

21. What is happiness to you? chillin

22. Are you going through anything right now? tryin 2 get a job. get my AA. 

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? hmmm i have made many bad decisions but nothing stands on top as my worst. i think anything that falls under the category of “mistreating my friends because of my short-sightedness” is considered the worst. 

24. What’s your favorite store? food stores 

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nop

27. Do you have a favorite album? no lol

28. What do you want for your birthday? uhm. better earphones?

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? im silly maybe

30. What age do you seem according to most people? a little younger than i am. 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on the dresser next to my bed or like. on my bed next to me in a safe corner 

32. What word do you say the most? idk maybe like. epic. or. legit. or fuck. 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? i donno lol maybe like. 1000. 

34. What’s the youngest you would date? my age and above lol wtf 

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? any job that requires, like, talking. on two occasions ive heard ppl say that i have a voice suited for customer service (like, ehh?? i just talk politely lol) but like. counseling too i guess. 

36. What’s your favorite music genre? most genres but lately ive been listening to anime op/eds and bideo game music and bandori songs and like. brockhampton or like. outrun. this n that.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i donno... i don really think about this stuff 

38. What is your current favorite song? fire bird by roselia (lol)

39. How long have you had this blog for? for a while idr how long maybe like. 5 yrs

40. What are you excited for? these maybe mashed potatoes im gonna make LOL

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im both. i prefer to listen and i think depending on my conversation partner i think listening is more important 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i got out of bed brushed my teeth and got something to drink. i know its not much but ive really been makin an effort to improve my....””””mornings””””. ive been waking up at like 1-2pm these days so the least i could do is get my day started right

43. What do you want for Christmas? something rly good to eat!!

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont look at my grades LMAO i do like. OK on most of my classes but somtimes i make an oopsie whoopsie and lose a lot of points becuase im forgetful and stupid

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? like. 7. 10 being like, i just ate something really great and im chillin w/ the homies. im 7 becase i ate something sorta tasty and im chillin but no homies. n im thinkin about the mash potatoe im going to maybe make

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? uhm. maybe teaching? doing something like, being sillay with my pals. i dont think about the future i just kinda just. Do.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? never rly the breakups were my responsibility becos i was mentally immature so i tend to like, think about what i did wrong. 

48. What age do you want to get married? ahh im not rly thinking about this but itd be nice to have a gf first LOL these future oriented questions be like. “idk!”

49. What career did you want to have as a child? yuusha

50. What do you crave right now? despite what ive been saying about thos mash potatoes i really want like. a good burger or somethin. i just wanna eat something free and tasty!!

@gurmza @learnosaurusrex @advancewars2 do it and please read over my answers very carefully i will test you on this on discord without warning 

[rap-liine]

50 questions tag

tagged by: @nervousatthenightclub omg sorry this took so long but thank you!!!

1. What takes up too much of your time? prolly tumblr tbh

2. What makes your day better? just getting time to myself to chill and watch stuff

3. What’s the best thing that happened you today? a bunch of stuff actually!! i got a bunch of compliments on my outfit + hair, maintained first place in my gymnastic competition in gym, got my daily approval from my favorite teacher, finished the oreo ripple icecream i didn’t know we had until my sister told me and i discovered red oranges are a thing apparently 

4. What fictional place would you like to go? oooohhhh maybe Alagaësia (the place where the Inheritance Cycle is)

5. Are you good at giving advice? yupp

6. Do you have any mental illness? nope

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no

8. What musician inspired you the most? honestly i think the entirety of bts was really a big inspiration for me to get deeper into dancing and other things but hobi especially motivated me, and even though hyunjin’s backstory is super inspiring i don’t know how it helped me personally yet

9. Have you ever fallen in love? huh even 9 year crush don’t count as love imo

10. What’s your dream date? i’ve never really thought about it but probably a fancy dinner and a walk through the city at night after 🌌

11. What do others notice about you? i try to be optimistic and upbeat 24/7 so I really hate being around negative ppl, even tho ppl hate me for my smarts idgaf about them and genuinely care about my education, although im v confident im also v grateful for everything, and can cut people down but im really caring (mom friend literally everywhere) and i know what i want and i get it done

12. What is the annoying habit you have? ok my mom can fight me on this but burping isn’t that bad ok

13. Do you still talk to your first love? no? he moved but even before not really

14. How many ex’s do you have? 0️⃣

15. How many songs are on your playlist? pandora ain’t letting me see the full list but either way a lot of what i listen to isn’t on there, so im gonna take a guess and go at 500? it’s different for each playlist tho

16. What instruments can you play? i’m relearning piano and i want to pick up guitar

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? lmao one of my best friends and trust me they’re all ugly

18. Where would you like to go before you die? either mecca for religious purposes or greece/rome/brasil

19. What is your zodiac? virgo ♍

20. Do you relate to it? yES omg it’s like a 98% match

21. What is happiness to you? the emotional, physical, and spiritual contentment of a person OR (bc i think i understood this wrong) being with people i love, the feeling of accomplishment / pride, reading books that take you away from reality, debates and physical exercise

22. Are you going through anything right now? only high school my dude 🤙

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? even though this technically wasn’t my choice but eating nutella sandwiches for lunch every day and not getting into team sports as a kids 😭

24. What’s your favorite store? MARSHALLS, HANDS DOWN

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? women are absolutely entitled to the rights to their bodies and men should have no say whatsoever in this aspect, but at the same time don’t use it as an excuse to hoe around and constantly get pregnant

26. Do you keep a bucket list? not really, but i have an idea of some things i want to do in life

27. Do you have a favorite album at the moment? stray kids’ miroh (liSTEN TO IT)

28. What do you want for your birthday? silver/grey adidas soccer sweats, a new pair of black sneakers, and a permanent ps account

29. What are most peoples first impressions of you? 1) looks bc (majority of) ppl aint blind and 2) im super energetic and outgoing and just really friendly in general, 3) confident and a bunch of other things

30. What age do you seem according to most people? okkk literally all adults think im 5 years older than i am but?? i’m not 20 believe it or not

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on my dresser next to my bed or charging on my cabinet

32. What word do you say the most? the duh lmao prolly bruh or either of the second two words

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? no one older than me but maaaaaybe sixteen

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? no on younger than me past a few months

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? teaching but HUH i do not have to patience to teach kids

36. What’s your favorite music genre? pop (more specifically the kind with a k before it)

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? i’d stay in the US

38. What is your current favorite song? hmmmm beside the ones that will always be my favs then maze of memories by stray kids

39. How long have you had this blog for? only a few months but i made so many amazing mutuals already!! 💫

40. What are you excited for? my april trip to spain & morocco with my best friend and my move into my new private school in late august

41. Are you a better talker or listener? uhhh both?? i love talking but i’ve always been a human diary so i can't really chose

42. What is the last productive thing you did? finish four pages of my history hw 🙃🙃🙃

43. What do you want for Christmas? nothing bc i ain’t christian

44. What class do you get the best grades in? omg my grades are lowkey sad rn they’re all a minuses but!! i do really well in p much everything but us history honors, bio honors, and spanish ii are two classes i love and excel in

45. On a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? gotta say a 9.3 bc im regretting all the sugar i ate today

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? working in a lab in boston

47. When did you get your first heart break? if you don’t fall in love you can’t get hurt :0

48. At what age do you want to get married? hmmmmmm i don’t wanna have a huge gap between me and my children but i also want to have a stable successful career first, so i’ll say before 30 ig

49. What career did you want to have as a child? veterinarian but then i realized that meant looking at sick animals all day and i went n o p e

50. What do you crave now? a gym bc i wanna exercise

tagging: @sonqmingi @parkseonghwa (whenever she comes back from hiatus), @lqhhj, @forhyunsuk, @ultvisual, @cuteez, @ateezsbitch @taengyo @astarlightmonbebe and ofc anyone who wants to!!

[volvolts]

my pokemon timeline/age headcanons cuz i do what i want

this is mostly so i can pinpoint ages i want for the pokevillians and i just wanted to talk about it

the entire story starts 20 years from RBG to Rainbow Rocket (and also under the assumption that im following ORAS and USUM) 

RBG -3 years-> HGSS -5-> ORAS -4-> DPPT -2-> BW -3-> B2W2 & XY (takes place at the same time) -2-> USUM -1-> RR

Ages of the villains at the end of RR:

Giovanni: 47 

Maxie: 38

Archie: 38 

Cyrus: 30 (due to time distortion, would have been 35)

Ghetsis: 50-ish? no one really knows his age and he’s stopped keeping track when he was in his mid-20s

Lysandre: 36

Guzma: 31

Lusamine: 44

i got more pokevillain timeline details under the read more 

Giovanni took over the family business at 24 and was going good for 3 years until Red came along stopped team rocket when he was 27. He had Silver when he was 19 and Silver’s mother (he didn’t marry her but he loved her) died of childbirth. Silver was 8 at the fall of team rocket and was 11 when team rocket tried to make a comback. 

Archie and Maxie were both a part of team rocket when they were really young (about 17-18). They worked for team rocket for about a year until Giovanni’s fall and they both left to hoenn together where they had their fallout after a few years or so probably after they were 20-21. Team Magma and Aqua was at their height when they were 26. 

Cyrus was 17 when he realized that he was “empty” and that the only way to have a “perfect world” is to rebuild it without. He began Galactic Energy when he was 23. By 24 he had a fairly successful business but still didn’t have the funds or manpower to begin his plan until he was 27. He stayed in the distortion world and was taken out at the end of XY (a few months after Lysandre went missing). In the distortion world, especially for a prolonged time, time also shifts. While to him it had been a few months at most, out of the distortion world it had been 5 years. 

Ghetsis was around his late 40s to early 50s when he carried out his plan. Ghetsis is kinda hard to pinpoint because he believed he was too old to be the “savior of the world” and used N who i think was 19 when BW began, so he was probably in his mid to late 30s when he found N. 

Lysandre attempted his plan when he was 33. He spent some time with Sycamore (I dont know if they specified the time so i’ll say he was with Sycamore when he was 24 (also i believe that Sycamore is 5 years older than Lysandre) and started his own lab when he was 28) He began team flare when he was 30. He disappeared after the Geosenge incident and reappeared a few months later at the foot of Mt. Coronet close to Hearthome City along with former galactic leader Cyrus. 

Guzma ran away when he was 16 and spent the next few years in the streets with his wimpod. He met Plumeria when he was 18 and started team Skull when he was 20. While team skull was known to constantly harass and steal pokemon from others, they were never anything more than loiters and vandals. Guzma was 26 when he worked with Lusamine and 30 when USUM happened. 

Lusamine started the Aether Foundation when she was 28. She married Mohn when she was 29. Mohn disappeared when she was 39 (Gladion was 10, Lillie was 7). During USUM Gladion was 14 and Lillie was 11. Two years after Mohn’s disappearance, Gladion runs away. Two more years pass and Lillie runs away as well. She was 43 when USUM begins.