#i read this so many times. i still dont understand

[specific-dreamer]

“because you’re our little brother and we love you… did you hear what i just said? i said i love you”

whatever you do don’t think about how before everything ponyboy would have been ecstatic to hear that.

don’t think about how ponyboy tried to convince himself that since darry didn’t love him, he in turn didn’t care about him but he failed everytime.

don’t think about how ponyboy stayed up some nights asking soda how come darry changed and why he didn’t like pony no more. and soda doing his best to convince pony that darry does still love he’s just tired all the time and he’s still having trouble adjusting to their new dynamic too but pony just doesn’t get it.

don’t think about how if darry just said i love you a little more often they wouldn’t have been in this mess. if he said it a little more than maybe he and ponyboy wouldn’t have gotten in so many arguments and soda wouldn’t have to have been caught playing middle man

definitely don’t think about how upsetting it must’ve been for darry to finally bare his soul and tell pony he loves him only to be met with silence in return.

dont think about how he darry might’ve thought that a simple i love you is what would’ve brought them back to normal, because he didn’t realise just how bad their relationship got to the point of him needing that olive branch later.

except (and definitely don’t think about this part) ponyboy knows atp that his brothers love him. but he still thinks they love him but don’t really accept all of him. because up til this point his friends hated darry for nearly going soc, so to a kid his age the message he got was “we don’t want all of you; we just want the part of you that’s a greaser”. so when darry asks to read his story, when darry extends that branch, he asking to understand/get to know all of ponyboy. something nobody else did except for johnny (and maybe cherry for that one night).

sure soda asked to, but when pony said he wasn’t too sure about reading it too them, soda was seemed as if he was going to let the conversation drop. he was going to let pony keep hiding so to speak. but darry wasn’t. well he might’ve if only to keep the peace, but darry asking to read the story himself shows that he’s willing to think things through rather than instantly being worried/shouting at ponyboy in the future. it shoes that he’s trying to put himself in ponyboy’s shoes to he can figure out where his head is at (something that darry previously made fun of)

[adhd-community]

i'm hyperverbal, and my partner is easily overwhelmed by too much talking. i have a hard time even processing a thought until i've said it out loud, though. if i don't talk myself through it, i just get stuck and say nothing. not to mention, i have a hard time deciding what's actually worth saying out loud until i've said it. how can i talk to my partner while,,, talking less?

It's all about finding ways to exist together that support both of your needs. I am reading that your partner has noted they find a lot of chat overwhelming and you tend to chat a lot and struggle to know when or how to stop/start (somehow I identify with both of these...).

The first two questions are:

What is it that your partner finds overwhelming? Too many thoughts verbalised too quickly? The noise? Trying to follow the conversation? Do the reasons change from time to time?

Why are you chatting? Are you looking for connection? Reassurance? Is it accidental? Do these reasons sometimes change?

Understanding yourself and each other can be REALLY helpful in these situations in order to work out what will meet both your needs.

Finally for some hypertalkitivity tips, some things that have helped me in the past with situations like these are:

Before launching into something you're thinking about, check in with the other person on whether they are up for a chat, or whether they would prefer a little quiet time. If they need quiet time, respect that (it's not a rejection, I promise) and find another outlet for your energy/thoughts.*

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about why you're talking and what level of engagement is needed from them. I had this issue with a friend while travelling (I chat while packing and they were getting overwhelmed). We talked about it and I explained that when this happens I don't need (or expect) them to actually listen, at most it would be nice if they occasionally said "hmm good question" or "mmmm" so I didnt feel lonely or get distracted. This isn't something they need so they had thought I wanted them to deeply listen and answer questions each time and were understandably EXHAUSTED. This convo, and following "heads up, I'm doing the thing - let me know if you need quiet time" chats avoided a lot of potential tension!

If you are having trouble with impulsively talking, find something that tends to help you have "quiet time". For me this is listening to something through headphones that I dont need to pay too much attention to or actually "watch" but still find really enjoyable (e.g. podcasts or super-long game-plays (thank you Jacksepticeye amiright?)) For some reason this signals "no talking" to my brain and I can quietly focus in other things - find yours!

Take a few deep breaths and talk a little slower. When ADHDers are hypertalkative and REALLY into a thought, it can be... intense. Passion is wonderful but taking a second to recognise that your partner is probs also having several thoughts/their own experience and it will take them a second to adjust is always appreciated.

*Other possible outlets for your energy/thoughts!

Write it in a notebook

Type it out or speak it to an AI chatbot!

Call a friend or family member

Do something physical to reduce the mental restlessness (this can be exercise, or even just doing some dishes or gardening etc - just something that makes your brain feel less like it needs to work out everything in the world RIGHT NOW)

Try a guided meditation to slow your thoughts

In the end only you and your partner will be able to work out what's best for you both, but I hope this has helped!

Remember that just because they don't want to chat right now does NOT mean they don't want to hear your thoughts at all. It's likely they just need to recharge their social batteries so that they can have cute chats and fun times later.

X

[lebensmudewing]

"if you think its expensive or hard to maintain or not sustainable????? thats a massive food iq issue"

It's called living in a third shithole country where you are lucky if you have drinkable water in your house. I can buy groceries because of my scholarship, I'm not a white rich girl that has the luxury of choosing and read every single food label in order to secure it's 100% vegan, I can't choose those expensive plant based products.

Also:

"i am not "just a vegan taking advantage of vulnerable angry women". i have been 6b and hard into feminism for over a decade now. crazy right? you can hold multiple strong principles that dont conflict in any way and actually benefit eachother"

And I'm not talking about you, but it's a known pattern that people call out women for not caring enough about XYZ causes.

"veganism is not an ED or anything close. it does not require making yourself smaller in any way. it does not require being selective or putting limitations on yourself. we actively discourage this and work to dispel these myths. we encourage vegan women to take up space and not allow companies to upcharge you for vegan options that cost less to produce. we encourage women to eat and to not ever place restrictions on themselves."

We who? I have seen so many times vegan people get malnourished and still don't make the connection between their state and what they eat.

"i know this is impossible for you to comprehend"

No, it's not impossible for me to understand anything. I'm smart and stop pretending you are superior to me or anyone that doesn't think exactly like you. For being someone so full of compassion, is astounding that you can't see out of your bubble and see that people can't dedicate their lifes to multiple causes all the time.

"but we actually give a fuck about animals, child laborers dying, illegal immigrants and illiterate and mentally disabled people being treated like slaves, the connection between speciesism and misogyny, sustainability, deforestation, water basin destruction, animal prostitution (yes farmed animals being trafficked for sexual gratification which is a much bigger issue than youd ever like to know) global warming and the 6th mass extinction event currently taking place. "

Well, then I hope you call out:

People who cares about children

People who cares about the disabled

People who cares about illegal immigrants

People who cares about slavery

People who cares about climate chenge

Call them out and tell them to include women's rights in their fight, tell that social worker who is caring abused children that she should give a fuck about animals, and women, and disabled, and immigrants, and slaves and climate change. Do it.

"animal prostitution (yes farmed animals being trafficked for sexual gratification which is a much bigger issue than youd ever like to know)"

????? I don't know why you need to strech every single thing to make them fit with terrible stuff. A person eating eggs is not the same as a man having intercourse with an animal.

"there are literally thousands of very serious reasons to be a diehard animal rights advocate and none of them relate to "me woman me must put others first!" "

And people like me have thousands of serious reasons to keep eating animals. They pay their bills with it, they feed their children with it, they treat their chronic diseases with it, they can't afford to buy other things.

If it is not about exploiting women's socialization and empathy, then tell the slave and the immigrant to care about climate change too. Because anyone else in the world is allowed to care only about themselves but women.

I don't get the whole feminist vegan ecofriendly package.

We women have to liberate ourselves, not save the entire world.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭

like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar

[milkweedman]

Knitting a freehand bag and started wondering how often people even use patterns, anyway. So--how often do you use a pattern when you make things ? This include knitting/crochet/sewing/weaving/nalbinding/bobbin lace/tatting/etc but also things like woodworking, cooking, and baking. If you want to just pick the thing you do most often that's fine.

I personally do not use patterns as I find them far more confusing than just figuring out the construction of an item and simply making it. I do very occasionally browse ravelry for inspiration but have downloaded maybe 2. In the 5 or so years since I joined. And have followed exactly 1, which I modified every single aspect of. In my defense, dyslexia.

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

[latetaektalk]

update.

hi there!! its me, linh. and i have an update to give.

it probably surprises no one, but i think its time for me to officially announce that its the end of my time here on tumblr. trust me when i say that i say this with a heavy heart. over the past few months i just realised that ive just kinda outgrown (that sounds so weird to say) writing, tumblr and even kpop in a way.

regarding love to hate you, im so deeply sorry that this how the series is coming to an end, or well... its not. but i really havent felt the desire to touch it at all. or anything for that matter. i will hold that series near and dear to my heart and forever cherish it for how much fun i had creating it. im sorry for leaving it on such a note but i hope you guys can understand and still appreciate the chapters i offered to you guys.

i will keep the blog up, so you guys can go back and read their silly little story again and again. (for those who really really need to know if they make it or not, i will put it in the tags)

and for those few who care, ive been doing really good! im really happier than ever but busier than ever too (uni has been kicking my ass). still, these past few months have been so fun for me and i hope the same applies to you all!!

if you guys want to, you can send me messages because i will still log on every now and then to check up on things. because even though tumblr isnt really a part of my daily routine anymore, i did gain a lot of love for it over the past few years. and hell if the writing itch catches me again, maybe i will post something. its a big maaaybe and right now it looks pretty unrealistic given how busy i am, but never say never i guess

so, it looks like this is a goodbye. but its a good one, a really good one. and i hope you guys understand and see it that way too!!

linh.

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[kaurwreck]

you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.

[chaika-jpeg-shitpost]

about to experience a once-in-a-lifetime event (reread my favourite series for the first time in 2 years and have my perception of it irretrievably change)

[the-kipsabian]

"why is kip sabian wrestling orange cassidy again they do it too many times"

this is the fifth match in over a year. you think thats too much? just admit you hate good chemistry and love and shut the fuck up

[doveotion]

Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

[solar-halos]

okay i give up i cant write this pjo fic percy loves sally too much

[freak1demon69]

This is what it feels like being a hex fan sometimes, like its not even a twitter issue (and in a sense its not necessarily an issue, sometimes ppl just wanna have fun n not spout theories n discussion 24/7! I get that!) but i feel like a lot of people r quick to write off aspects of the game and characters and insist that, despite it being a mullinsverse title, it's not that deep/things are surface level

[gaytwirights]

One of my friends got spoiled for the ending of orv by one of her classmates. And it isn't even a proper spoiling where she now knows the ending. It's literally just for the big plot twists. The marvel movie version of orv if you will. I think I might actually hate someone in real life more than I hate myself

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏