#i read this and immediately thought I’d post it for denise

[princessanneftw]

What we can learn from Princess Anne’s 'no stylist' approach to royal tours

There’s nothing wrong with wearing a garment twice in one week

By Tamara Abraham, Acting Senior Fashion Editor for The Telegraph.

Newsflash: Princess Anne has been pictured wearing the same garment more than once during her royal tour of Australia and Papua New Guinea to mark the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

This wouldn’t be remarkable if I were talking about a civilian’s travel wardrobe. For most of us, suitcase space is limited unless you’re prepared to pay for extra baggage, so it’s a bonus if we can get multiple wears out of a single piece of clothing - especially an item as versatile as Anne’s navy double-breasted blazer. But royal tours are different, particularly when it comes to female members of The Firm.

The broad appeal of Princess Diana in the Eighties meant that every one of her outfits came under scrutiny. Fast forward to 2022 and the Duchess of Cambridge is staging 10-day long fashion shows when she goes on tour, each look meticulously planned so that it meets the demands and the social politics of the occasion while delivering in the style stakes too.

Anne being Anne doesn’t feel the need to make such a big splash with her tourdrobe. Yet it’s clear that she understands the nuances of dressing for a royal tour like nobody else, whether it’s the politics of brooches or an outfit that can accommodate a garland of flowers. At 71, she has more than seven decades of experience of royal life, so choosing an outfit that can take her from a sombre visit to the Bomana Cemetery in Port Moresby to the Papua New Guinea Adventure Park is second nature.

It still comes as a surprise, though, that she hasn’t travelled with a ‘glam squad’, the unofficial collective term for the fashion stylist, hair stylist and makeup artist that is now de rigueur for a high profile woman when she is faced with a string of engagements.

Perhaps she didn’t need any help steaming the creases out of her clothing or putting ensembles together. She was, after all, seen carrying her own hand luggage when she disembarked her plane in Sydney yesterday. It suggests she’s more than capable of taking care of her own wardrobe, hair and makeup too - and that’s no mean feat if you consider the humidity she likely experienced in Papua New Guinea.

Back to the clothes though, because packing well is an art form; one in which she’s evidently rather skilled. Her tourdrobe was largely comprised of tailored suiting in pale, buttery silks and linens that look smart and polished without being too stuffy. An ultramarine shirt with one trouser suit proved to be a sophisticated way to add colour; an emerald silk pussy-bow dress looked appropriate for an evening event without going over the top. You get the sense that if Anne was a regular traveller like you and me, she’d be one of those people that breezes through the arrivals hall with cabin baggage only, and yet still have a different outfit for every holiday occasion - no hand-washing of clothes in the hotel bathroom sink required.

There is even something charming about her fondness for those wraparound sports sunglasses. It’s an element which serves to remind us that Anne has packed with function rather than fashion moments in mind - chic as that androgynous cream pinstriped trouser suit may be. These clothes and accessories are simply the ‘uniform’ she uses for work, along with The Order of Logohu medallion she wore while hosting an investiture ceremony at Government House in Port Moresby.

“My bet is that Anne couldn’t actually give two hoots about what she wears, mostly preferring practicality over studied glamour,” says Bethan Holt, the Telegraph’s Fashion Director and a royal style expert. “She seems to approach her wardrobe with the same attitude that she does her public role; unshowy but determined to do everything just right.”

While it’s unlikely that Anne has been on a shopping spree for this tour, there are some subtle updates which indicate that she is au fait with current trends. The bateau neckline of a white T-shirt, a mannish pinstripe trouser suit, a wrap-style jacket which defines her slim waist. Her handbag (a slouchy style in cream leather) is tucked under her arm like a clutch, so as not to ruin the line of her suit. For another engagement, she wore a deep red floral print Nehru coat by Gloucestershire-based label Shibumi.

“There’s nothing ostentatious or too extravagant about her wardrobe,” says Annabel Hodin, a personal stylist who has worked with television royalty Anne Robinson. “Wearing a tailored silhouette in one colour head-to-toe is the easiest way to travel and dress well, and also the Queen’s go to solution.”

She is not without guidance though. Just as the Duchess of Cambridge works with personal assistant Natasha Archer, and the Queen’s wardrobe has long been overseen by Angela Kelly, Anne has the help of a dresser back home. Amy Morris-Adams, the milliner who designed both of the hats worn on the Australian leg of the tour, says that she works closely with members of the Princess Royal’s team.

“I always work with the dresser and the dressmaker who bring drawings and fabrics of each design, if not the finished outfit,” she says. “I choose a few options that may suit her, and Her Royal Highness will have the final decision on the style for that particular outfit.” These hats were commissioned a couple of years ago, she adds: “The green was commissioned first, and as we knew the style suited, then made the cream.”

We know that Anne had a sustainable approach to style since long before sustainability became a fashion buzzword. She may have an array of custom garments, but they’ll remain in her wardrobe rotation for decades, sometimes tweaked and altered, but rarely discarded in favour of something new. At Royal Ascot in 2015 she opted for a belted coat she first wore 35 years earlier. She also has a lilac coat which has worn several times in public since 1979.

This is an approach that Morris-Adams has been a part of as well, “retrimming, remodelling and repairing” hats that Anne already owned.

And in a way, this is the secret to her quiet, elegant style success. Anne looks like she has always looked - like Princess Anne - proving to all of us that if you find a look that suits you, stick with it - regardless of prevailing trends - because whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, people will see you, the individual first, rather than the outfit.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

10x18 - TTD Clues

Okay, let’s talk TTD. Usually I just have like 4-5 talking points from TTD, but there was a LOT in this episode. And, let’s face it. Given that it’s the Leah episode, there’s lots to discuss anyway. But everything in TTD just backs up what I’ve already said. Namely, that Leah and Daryl are NOT soulmates. And that there’s a lot of Beth symbolism and foreshadow here.

So, let’s just dive right in.

1)    Despite Chris calling it a “powerful relationship” in the intro (thanks a lot, Chris), when Nicole Mirante-Matthews, the writer, starts talking about it, it’s much better. She says this Leah thing will be relevant to a lot of things moving forward, including Connie. Which I take to mean that this affected his mindset and will probably change how he approaches things we’ll see in his story. 

She says that these were two lost souls, who happen to meet at a specific place and time and sort of crash together. That specifically suggests that it’s not a long-term thing. It’s more of a rebound and they were both lonely, and that’s why it happened. Then she says that this will affect things “reverberating forward into his present day story, which we’re rolling out here.” Because we understand the Bethyl template, and that Beth will be returning soonish, that just screams Beth to me.

2)    Chris talks about the grave marker Daryl looks at and how it’s kind of a fake out, as many people (who hadn’t read spoilers) would assume it was Leah’s grave. I talked about this Monday, and how it reminded me of the Beth/Tyreese fake out. I got that from TTD. Because I’d already read spoilers, the idea of that being mistaken for Leah’s grave wouldn’t have occurred to me.

And of course if she’s a hallucination, the grave marker may even be Leah’s. 

3)    Chris also mentioned massive time gaps. Now, he’s talking about the six-year time gap in which Leah happened, but still. I felt like the way he said it is to remind us that there are time gaps that have to be explained at some point, *coughs missing 17 days*

4)    Fun fact: the puppy’s name is Carl. Now, I can’t REALLY point to that as a TD thing, because the puppy’s name really is Carl. But I couldn’t help but wonder if THEY named the dog that. And even if not, they still felt the need to mention it here. I’m side-eyeing a little. Only because there are such strong symbolic ties between Carl’s death and Beth’s return. But hey, take it or leave it. Just my TD brain working overtime.

5)    They mentioned the map in the “in memoriam.” So, you know how I said yesterday that Map = Beth. Yeah, they actually treat Map as a lost character here. I’m just saying.

6)    Denise Huth’s pre-taped interview talks about a “lightening” for Daryl. Uuummmm. I don’t want to go into this in too much detail here, but this is part of the eclipse symbolism. Okay, I’ll just run through it super fast, but I’ll probably do a post in more detail later. Beth = sun. In an eclipse, the sun is hidden by the moon. So it’s the “what is hidden” or “what is not seen” theme. Some of the sun’s light is still seen around the edges of the moon (think of that as the symbolism that seeps out) but the sun itself (Beth) is still hidden. Gimple described Coda using the word “penumbra” which is the darkest part of the shadow thrown during an eclipse, and Maggie told Glennin 5x10, “This is just the dark part.” If things are getting lighter, it’s because the eclipse is almost over. The darkest part of the shadow has passed and things are getting lighter. And that’s actually what we see in the eclipse scene with Daryl and Leah. The eclipse being almost over and the sun starting to peek through. So this is all just another way of saying Beth is about to appear.

7)    There’s a point where Lynn Collins suggests that maybe we would have seen a Daryl/Leah kiss if not for Covid restrictions, but the writer immediately corrects her and says it was a creative choice. She sights reasons such as the fans being protective of Daryl and not trying to piss them off too much, but that seems very significant to me. I think they didn’t want to show Leah and Daryl kissing (even though the sex implication is there) because they’re saving that for someone else.

8)    At one point, talking of Daryl and Carol’s fight, MMB mentioned the scene in S2 where they fought over Sophia. Just seemed significant to me that she brought that up, because that’s basically ground zero for the missing girl theme, and the first person we saw Daryl searching for. Now, this entire episode, he’s searching for Rick, and it’s full of Beth themes.

9)    Back to the map. I said Monday I would go back to the opening scene where Carol picked up the piece of the map and put it in Daryl’s bag. I never did. Lol. Sorry about that. I threw a LOT of info at you and totally forgot to go back to it. Just keep in mind that this was probably a foreshadowing, and Map = Beth. And they specifically brought that scene up on TTD and drew attention to it, though of course they talked about it in the context of Daryl and Carol.

The other thing that several people have brought up is that map seems to be destroyed, and then whole again. I suppose I just thought he got a new map when I first watched the episode. Now, I agree with other that the state of the map is one of many ways they were hinting that parts or all of this is a hallucination. And again, they drew attention to the map on TTD.

10) When Chris asked the writer what the inspiration was for Carol’s “strong right foot” story, she got REALLY flustered. Now, that’s definitely TD symbolism. Related to the “missing foot/shoe” symbolism, in my opinion. In fact, if they’re synonymous (we’re just not entire certain yet) then this would definitely be a reference to both Beth and Ezekiel being missing. But anyway. The writer finally came up with how and why she had Carol tell the story of her grandmother. And I’m not saying it was a lie. The grandmother story is much more incidental than the “strong right foot” bit. But I don’t think Nicole expected that question or was prepared for it.

11) They did talk extensively about parallels between Leah and Carol, and I had to chuckle at what was said. They were just doing a lot of back-pedaling. So, first they said they are two completely different characters. Then they said they share a lot of qualities that Daryl recognizes. Then they say his relationship to Leah in the flashbacks is absolutely nothing like his relationship to Carol, both in the present and as it has been for many years. Did you catch all that? It’s their way of pointing out the parallels between Leah and Carol, but also taking care to make sure people know that Daryl and Carol are NOT romantic the way Daryl and Leah are. Lol. This is why I say its kind of the death knell for that ship. But again, why put parallels between Leah and Carol if the romance angle isn’t there? For the answer, read my very long analysis from yesterday.

12) On the “Inside the Dead” portion, it says that the breed of dog they use for Dog is often used for Military and Police K-9 Unites. Yeah, that’s purposeful. I think they specifically chose that breed of Dog to use on the show as Daryl/Leah’s dog, because it both calls back to Grady (police) and foreshadows the CRM (military).

13) Norma’s interview! Yay! This might have been my favorite part of TTD. Because the way he describes Daryl’s arc here makes it clear that it was one chapter of Daryl’s life that is now over. And what he says about Daryl being unable to allow himself to be happy with Leah says to me that he’s still hung up on someone else.

This probably made me happier back when I thought Leah was real. But the other thing is that he specifically uses a Matrix metaphor (the red pill vs the blue pill.) Umm? The red pill vs the blue pill situation in the Matrix is what brought Neo out of the construct and into reality. This is Norman’s very obvious way of telling us that Leah isn’t real. Daryl is in the Leah Matrix in this episode.

14) When speaking of the arm that Leah throws at Daryl, they said something really interesting. My fellow theorists and are still batting around ideas for what the arm symbolism might mean. But MMB called it “dead weight” that Leah was basically getting rid of. And they all agreed that symbolically that was true. So the arm represented Leah getting rid of the dead weight of her past and working through it. Wow. Where to start with this?

If she were real, that just shows that this is all this relationship was. Once she’d worked through her own losses, she wanted Daryl to commit to her, but he couldn’t. Because he hadn’t worked through his. Plus, a relationship built on this sort of thing, as I’ve already described, is never going to last in the long term. But of course, assuming she’s a hallucination, this is really just Daryl trying to work through his issues and shed his past. It doesn’t really work. 

Dead Weight is literally the name of the episode in 4b where the Governor was a MASSIVE Beth proxy.

Shedding one’s tragic past while in a little cabin in the woods, with DARYL, is pretty much the synopsis of Still. So, it just backs up the symbolic retelling of Bethyl.

All right. That’s what I got for TTD. Anyone see anything I missed?

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

My Lethal White episode 1 recap

After having had a lot of fun recapping episode 2, I went back and did episode 1 as well. It got a bit out of hand and is a loooong post...

Under the cut, because, evidently, there will be ALL THE SPOILERS! 🚨

*SQUEEEEE!!!* THEY’RE BACK!!! 🤗💃🏻🙌🏼  (Yes, I’m still squeeing, although this is a rewatch)

Let’s look at the title sequence, shall we? They’ve added a few new details: There’s the wooden cross from the dell, the White Horse of Uffington and Robin’s Houses of Parliament guest pass. The child from Billy’s memories and the pink blanket. Someone’s already mentioned the ‘whore’ swirling in the coffee cup, and then later we have a fencing icon in the pint. Cool hints. 😎

Cut to tired, head-achy Cormoran at the wedding. Strike has a slightly different haircut, and I wonder: they dye Tom’s hair darker for the role, but he has a glint of natural first grey at the temples that I’ve seen on Tom pre-Strike. How did they keep that? (Sorry about the hair kink digression…☺️)

Pet peeve of mine they carried over from Career of Evil: in the book, Donald Laing slashes Strike’s palm, but it didn’t happen in the series. There was no blood on his hand when he called Robin, and his glove was intact. And yet, Strike has his hand bandaged. I know it’s a silly pet peeve of mine, but stuff like that pulls me out of the moment. And Strike wouldn’t slap on a bandage just for a little bruising. *steps off soap box*

“You look beautiful.” - “And you look terrible.” - “It’s this jacket, needs taking in.” 😂

“I want you back.” - “What?” Augh, the double meaning of it all, Strike’s softness and Robin’s initial uncertainty of what he means. 🥺

When she realizes that Matt deleted Strike’s messages, there’s a tear spilling from her eye, and she quickly wipes it away. 😢 Such good acting. Such a brave girl.

A few of us have already addressed this in the chat: did Matt BLOCK Strike, or delete his calls and messages? Or both? They’re frustratingly unclear about this detail, and it makes a difference in terms of Strike being able to reach her or not. (I’m a continuity nerd, sorry)

Sarah standing next to Matthew. *gags*

Robin looks so beautiful! And so very sad. (Holliday is acting her heart out of this season, can’t say it enough). This is award material, hands-down. 🏆

Her look across the room at Cormoran while they’re eating! And he’s… just been staring at her all through the meal? Good god. These two.

If Cormoran falls asleep before dessert he’s got to be really, REALLY tired.☺️ Poor baby.

We’ve got to work on your fine dining skills, Cormoran darling! It’s very cowboy and rugged, handling cutlery like that, but you would SINK during an aristocracy under-cover op. Maybe the Comte de la Fère is available for a lesson?

The first chords of The Calling’s “Wherever you will go”. Ack. They really went for the original, and as someone who’s always been ridiculously in love with that cheesy song, I AM HERE FOR IT.

Cormoran walking slow-mo past the bridesmaids, looking at Robin dancing with Matt The Twat. My heart…💔

When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face… *sniff*

Cormoran’s FACE during the dance. I can’t. He looks like a puppy about to get shot. 🥺

(and what a juxtaposition to the little lady with the funny hat bobbing happily next to him, to everyone looking awww and being completely ignorant of the drama that’s playing out. Ugh. I’m dead.)

Matthew moves like someone who’s (painstakingly) learned exactly one (1) dance, and for their wedding only, and why is he even smiling so proudly? They must’ve just had the biggest row in history? Is he really so full of himself?

Even Robin is smiling, although staring longingly at Strike. I bet they did that so Strike would be a little mad at her and want to walk away.

AND HE DOES! 😟 You can just see the “Fuck this” from the book crossing his face as he turns around and leaves. Ack. I’m dead again.

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go

(Perfectly placed, kudos) 👏🏼

And she runs after him, looking like a fairy-tale princess. Did you see how frigging COLD it must’ve been, judging by her breath?! Poor Holliday must have been freezing to death during the shoot. And then to pull off such a heartbreaking scene…

(Also, the lawn in the park? A shitload of rolled sods. No grass looks this lusciously green in winter, and you can see the edges everywhere. Some landscaper had a field day there!)

“Are you sure?” - “Yeah. I am.” About WHAT, you idiots?! *wrings hands* To her coming back to work, of course, but there’s so much more to their statements. And I’m sure that non-book-readers thought they were about to kiss and elope, but - alas! - we know that’s not going to happen.😔

But at least we get The Hug™️, and it’s everything we hoped for: Robin crying, digging her fingers into his jacket; Cormoran closing his eyes… God help us, we are all DOOMED sailing this ship! 🙈💔

I was a little miffed upon first watching that they faded out of that hug so quickly. That was it? No, it wasn’t, as we now know, and I love, love, love that we’re getting all these extended flashbacks that reveal more and more of what happened to us!

ONE BLOODY YEAR LATER (I still can’t get over that time jump)

Lol at the subcontractor crashing his moped into the cab! It was only briefly mentioned in the book, and turning it into an actual dialogue was a fun idea.😂

And there’s Denise (that IS her, right?), completely uninterested in doing her job. Good grief - Strike and Robin are BAD a picking employees! 🙈

Robin looking not-jealous-at-all at Strike walking off with Lorelei. Ouch.

I like Lorelei, btw. They chose the actress well, and she’s nice and mature. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not secretly flinching every time she kisses Cormoran. It’s just not right.

Billy. Joseph Quinn does an incredible job playing him. 👏🏼 As dangerous as he appears at first, his despair and his efforts at holding himself together are heartbreaking. That battle he wages against his mental illness is on full display, and his scared big eyes are killing me. 🥺

Cormoran is admirably unfazed by Billy’s appearance - is that his Army training kicking in? Robin, though, is shaking but braving it out, recording with her phone although her hands are trembling. Good acting by Holliday.

Good riddance, Denise.

The good ole’ pencil trick. “I didn’t know people still did this.” 😌

I was surprised that Cormoran chose to simply break into the house on Charlemont road. It’s breaking and entering for no good reason. Could’ve been anybody’s home.

He’s not going to- EWW! He’s sitting down on that filthy couch. And plucking hairs from it. EWW!🤢

Robin: “...and some porn.” 😂 Says it as if it’s what they always find. The usual. Men… 🙄

Who’s the guy taking pictures of Cormoran? I seriously don’t remember this from the b- Oh, WAIT! Reporter guy. Patterson. Yeah. Him.

The CORE members are as cliché in their looks as are Chiswell’s upper class folks. It’s all a bit on the nose for my taste, but then clichés are clichés for a reason.

Cormoran needs to work on his disguises. Not fitting in at all with the CORE crowd, age-wise or in his look. No wonder they don’t trust him. He does it better in the books.

Oh Robin. I actually think you need a lot more therapy to work through your shit.

Ah, here we go. Seaborn bacteria. But first, Matt’s got to be a prick again. 🙄

Chiswell with his arrogance and his rudeness and his finger-snapping. *shakes head* I think if Cormoran hadn’t known he could make some serious money with this case, he may have walked out on him.

Btw, the “large” jacket is making Strike look slimmer instead of bigger. 😄 They’re so desperately mentioning Strike’s largeness, as if beating it over our heads could actually make us not see barely-6-foot and slender Tom Burke.

“Couple more potatoes wouldn’t hurt.” And his FACE! 🥰

Glenister is a really good actor. I always listen to the Strike audiobooks that he narrates, and I was worried hearing his voice in the show would be confusing, but it’s not because he sounds so different. Can’t wait for him reading “Troubled Blood” to me! 🎧

Is it a coincidence that Drummond’s art gallery has a painting of a horse in its front window? I think not.

I love that soft blue shirt they put Cormoran in. Makes him look very huggable. *blushes*

“Not sure I would make a convincing goddaughter either.”😂

So in England you can just walk up to a minister’s house and ring the doorbell without any security people stopping you? Interesting.

Chiswell just shutting the door in Cormoran’s face. RUDE.😠

The brown contact lenses. 👀 Okay, they make her look different, but not THAT different. It’s her sudden posh accent that’s the real stunner.

The panic attacks. Holliday plays them so well, I almost feel like I can’t breathe myself. 😧

I was expecting the Houses of Parliament to look a little less like a stuffy basement full of old junk. *ducks*

Barclay! Definitely looking more attractive than his description in the book. And I thought I’d gotten food at understanding Scottish. I haven’t. *turns subtitles on*

Izzy is the only Chiswell offspring who doesn’t make me want to immediately vomit.

“Venetia. Like the blinds.” Oh God. 🙈

Winn is such a creep. 🤮 Poor Robin. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU LEECH!

Of course Matt doesn’t want Robin to wear the Green Dress. Twat.🙄

The house warming party. I always wonder why Robin doesn’t have friends of her own. I have a feeling Matt has something to do with that.

The earrings. So we will see Robin finding out Matt’s cheating on her! I can’t wait for her to rip him a new one! 😈

Robin calls Cormoran - and it’s not Coco but Lorelei who picks up. That’s a smart change from the book. And it makes her the rebound girl. Which she doesn’t deserve, but it is what it is.

“And she bakes.” 🥴 Is it just me wondering how Lorelei got that cake into the tin without ruining the icing?!

Flashback to The Hug™️. God, their faces are so close. Cormoran is so soft. Nnnnhhhggggg.

Enter the plaid shirt. Lumber!Cormoran is a good look on him! 😍

The Armchair of Sadness™️. Of course that’s where the devastating phone call to Robin’s house happens! The disbelief and disappointment on Cormoran’s face is heart rending. 😢💔

@lulacat3 and I have already established the continuity error with Cormoran’s facial injuries suddenly missing when he’s reached the pub. (And they should still be there; he’s still wearing the plaid shirt from that same evening.) If I were the makeup person I would have been deeply regretful of having missed dabbing fake injuries on Tom’s face again.

The Uffington Horse. Robin’s in appropriate Wellingtons, weather jacket and a beanie for their outing. Cormoran is wearing what he always wears, and Tom clearly wishes he had a beanie. At least he gets to wear a t-shirt under his eternally blue shirts this season. REVOLUTION! 😄

Sure. Let’s just go and dig for a corpse with a shovel so conveniently available! Just the two of them - one delicate Robin and one invalid. And then Robin finds the bones after ten seconds of digging. No further comment. 🙄

But I like the change with Cormoran’s leg. As stupidly heroic as he acted in the book, I like it better in the show where he has to acknowledge his handicap and Robin takes charge.

The bones. Dun-dun-DUN!

(Good first episode, although all in all the pacing wasn’t quite right yet, and compared to the book it all felt a bit rushed. I liked episode two better.)

[ryuutchi]

RE: AO3-Hugo waaaaaaaaank

@kattahj​

replied to your post “Honestly, backreading the Hugo Awards AO3 drama is the closest I’ve...”                                                

                       Where can I read it?                    

As @fangirlarthur​ said, it started with the OTW Announcement Hugo Award – What it Means.

This post, while well-meaning, has the tone that someone associated with the World Science Fiction Society (WSFS) was upset that AO3 writers have been calling themselves “0.00000000453% Hugo Winner” or “Hugo Award Winning Fanfiction Author” and saying “LOL can you believe that my Snarry tentacle porn won the Hugo”. In a mostly-deleted thread (sadly, I came too late for screencaps), WSFS Trademark Protection Committee member and apparent perpetual butthole, Kevin Standlee jumps in to tell a bunch of fanfiction authors that they are diluting the Hugo Award trademark with these jokes. There is trademark discussion. There are jokes. There are memes. There is much mockery.

My favorite of the comments is still softestpunk with: “I always wondered if I'd know if a friend messaged me with a gun to their head, y'know? If I'd be able to tell from the tone. I've decided I would.“

Meanwhile, over on sci-fi fandom news blog/fanzine, File770, Mike Glyers includes the news bullet, ABOUT AO3’S HUGO AWARD in his daily Pixel Scroll post. Glyers notes that “Kevin Standlee [is] making Absolutely Clear Everybody Must Understand Things Exactly The Way He Does”.

The comments immediately get heated. I’m too tired to do a full write up with quotes, but highlights include (actual real for real) Hugo Award Winner Ursula Vernon telling people that she thinks AO3 users claiming the title is nifty, actually; some discussion of what actual trademark infringement has occurred (an etsy and a kickstarter); Accusations that AO3 wants to smear shit on the Hugos; AO3 Is Just Like Nazis Really; and a lot of people who think the Hugos are a lot more prestigious than I ever thought.

Bonus for this guy.

Will Frank, the Hugo Administrator for 2021 and an official trademark lawyer with degrees n stuff posted HugO3, purportedly to clear up the legal dispute. Unfortunately, what he does is spill a lot of legalese that boils down to “for-pofit uses of the Hugo Trademark Are Bad” (we been knew) and “we think 2 million people feeling like they won part of a Hugo Award will dilute the meaning of the Hugo Award’s trademark” (questionable). When asked point-blank in the comments whether Twitter bio jokes are legally “dilution”, Mr Frank declines to actually answer. My vote for top comment is Rosefox on the second page.

Mike Glyers is back with a link to HugO3 in another Pixel Scroll later that day, asking commenters (probably futilely) not to “light the match”. I haven’t delved too deeply into the comments, but a quick glance includes a presumably white man accusing AO3 of cultural appropriation.

And, of course, FFA has been tracking/mocking this the whole time:

AO3 clarifies Hugo win

Re: AO3 - Hugo

Now accepting nominations in the category of Stupidest Comment Thus Far

once and future wank [ED. NOTE: THIS ONE HAS LINKS TO FIC]

Archive 2: Huboogaloo

And piggybacking off the last FFA link, it looks like File770 and Denise/Synedochic (best known as one of the founders of Dreamwidth) are having some... differences of opinion.

I’m sure there’s more on Twitter, but this is the main bunch of what I was reading.

[archimage-writings]

Lucky Friday the 13th

This past Friday was the 13th and, at least for me, was very lucky, magical, mystical, and dare I say alchemical? Ok, I’m overdoing it. I get it. But, the weekend was transformative. Creatures, Crime, and Creativity (C3) is a yearly fan and writer’s conference held in Columbia, MD and hosted by Austin and Desinse Camacho of Intrigue Publishing. I had gone last year, and had learned a lot and had a good time, so I registered for this year’s event. Now, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember (and that’s a long time), I’ve self-published a bunch of books (think of them as a bunch of carrots tied together and thrown into the bottom drawer of the refrigerator), and they are out there, but I don’t promote, push, market, or talk about them to people I meet. I’m not that good. (self-criticism is the sincerest kind, and I’m me.) I’m a writer because I write. Be that as it may, I registered and took a chance and this year I registered as an author. The only real requirement was having published. As I registered, I had thoughts of imposter syndrome. What if they found out I was no one famous (or even important)?  I didn’t want to get kicked out. I wanted to go. Time passed. Then I got an email from Cynthia Lauth, an organizer, telling me she was having a hard time finding my books on Amazon. Ruh, roh!  Panic.  I took a deep breath and relaxed. I have publisher links. I have real books. I just don’t sell them. I passed the links back. Time passed. I get another email from Cynthia. I’m on two panels and I’m moderating two others. Wha–?! I check the schedule.  I’m on: “Humor in Writing” with Jeff Markowitz, Allan Ansange, and Susan McBride (moderating).  Ok, I sort of get it. I write humor. I think I have a sense of humor, but just a sense. People I know, don’t like my sense of humor, but I get why I’m on this panel. I can pull this off. But with Jeff and Allan? I’m familiar with both of them and I was witness to Jeff’s wit at last year’s conference. I’m done for (dangling preposition notwithstanding). I’d have to prepare… Next up was, “The Battle of the Sexes–What Makes Hero and Heroine Conflict Such a Prevalent Concept in Romance Novels?”  I was moderating. I read the title again… Ok, I could talk about “The Battle of the Sexes” and, I didn’t even see “Romance Novels”.  This panel comprised Rebecca York, Jenna Harte, and Becky Muth. An all-female panel. I was toast. Sweating, I scanned for the next appearance of my name on the schedule.  Saturday, I was on one of the first panels. “Ripped from the Headlines: Writing Stories from 'Fake News’”. I’ve never done that. The closest I’d ever come was commenting on tweets I saw. I’m not a news “junkie”. I know better than to troll or be trolled. I sat and thought about the topic. I wasn’t even sure I knew what “fake news” was… apart from what some important people believed it was. I could probably fake my way through this panel.  D.W. Maroney, Adam Meyer, Karl Brungart, were the other panelists, and Susan McBride was moderating again. Scan… scan… scan… change… change… change… King of Fools… I was moderating one of the last panels on Saturday. I relaxed and remembered to breathe. “Writing for TV/Film.” I’d written several structurally, and story-wise god-awful scripts/screenplays to learn how to write them. I had questions. I’d be good. I gulped when I saw the panelists.  John Gilstrap, David Mack, and Adam Meyer.  Again, people I was familiar with, read, or followed. These three were the power team. I was in over my head. Maybe I could call in sick. They would be able to find someone to cover for me, couldn’t they?  Maybe Austin and gang were desperate, and I was the fill-in….  I couldn’t let them down. The imposter syndrome flashed through my brain caught up and ran over me like a train full of experts. Well, I was commited. I’d go through with it. If only to tell myself that I had done my best. I spent a day or so thinking about how to handle each panel and sent out emails to the panelists both to introduce myself (who has ever heard of me?) and to throw out some sample questions. I got some nice responses from everyone. Time passes and the weekend of the conference rolls around. It’s Friday the 13th weekend, 2019. A full moon.  I lug a copy of some of my books in case they ask me for my ID before they let me on the panels. Too cut to the chase, I did OK on the humor panel, and got a few laughs, and when things got deep and serious, some nods of agreement from a lot of the audience (including Austin). My copanelists were awesome and made me look good.  The “Battle of the Sexes” panel, I stumbled through. Remember I mentioned I didn’t even notice the phrase “Romance Novel”? I asked very amateurish and obvious questions (because I have never read a romance novel).  I learned a lot and the authors were kind enough not walk out on me. The Film/TV panel went ok. I asked the questions I wanted answered; again some were basic ones. The panel went well and I was surprised I could supress my awe at the panelists while asking. The “Fake News” panel, I felt I held my own.  Afterward, I was physically and emotionally wiped. I will admit, I’m an introvert. I don’t do well with people I don’t know despite having given presentations and taught in front of hundreds. It’s still not a pleasant experience. It’s not about me, however. –––– I should get to the point of this post. The panelists all were stellar and the discussions were wonderful. I am honered to have been included and given the chance to take part. Everyone at C3 was welcoming, friendly, curious, and helpful. I met many people, reconnected with those I met last year, and for the first time ever felt I was an author, and not just someone who wrote books. People wanted to know where to get my books.  No, not because I felt like a celebrity, I didn’t and hope I never do. Because everyone at C3 treated me (and everyone else) as an equal.  I was part of the community. I felt my efforts as a writer were validated.  My life has changed, from my perspective. I want to mention a few people. (If I were to mention everyone I interacted with, I’d be writing my next book.) Austin and Denise Camacho, and Cynthia Lauth. They put this conference on, are friendly, good folk. They work hard. Support them and C3. They make it what it is. David Mack, one keynoter. This man is an expert. He is a technician of the first order. I really wish I had a chance to spend some time chatting with him, but he was always busy.  His keynote was bitter-sweet about the up and down cycles of his carreer and the industry. It was inspiring and motivating. He is a fairly quiet guy (I got the sense he was uncomfortable being in the spotlight), but he became more relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself as the coference went on. His wit is dry, sardonic, and ascerbic.  I get it. I like it. Cool dude. Also, his wife Kara is a great person. Julie Hyzy and husband Curt. Great people, both. Julie was the other keynoter. Her talk was the most heartfelt and personal one I’ve ever heard. It was full of anecdotes, touching moments, humor and inspiration. For someone who claims to not enjoy speaking in public, she’s an expert. She also talks a mile a minute on panels when she is excited and/or interested. The fact she likes puns and time-travel doesn’t colour (British spelling) my opinon–well not much.  I awkwardly handed her my books (to show my appreciation for her keynote) and later she asked me to sign them. My first real autographs! Curt is a very cool guy in a laid-back sort of way. I had a nice chat about sports with him. S.A. Cosby was a highlight of the conference.  “Noir at the Bar” is a mini-event within C3 where authors read one of their shorter works over drinks. Mr. Cosby read a story that was immediate, powerful, visceral, and imaginative. His reading was more acting than reading.  I’d buy any audiobook read by him. I was lucky enough to win one of his books and get it signed. Debbie Mack. I met her at last year’s C3, but this year was the first time I got a chance to chat with her. Not only is she an author, but she also blogs, and produces videos that remind me of MST3K. She’s currently subtitling the old Buck Rogers serial. She’s also a fan of old movies, Doctor Who, and The Prisoner. What can be wrong with that? Cool person. There are too many others to mention.  Thank you all for allowing me into the fold. If you are a fan of writing, a writer, or an author you owe it to yourself to check out C3 http://creaturescrimesandcreativity.com If you want to follow people on Twitter: @Ascamacho - Austin Camacho @JulieHyzy - Julie Hyzy @DavidAlanMack - David Mack @Blacklionking73 - Shawn A Cosby @DebbieMack - Debbie Mack @JohnGilstrap - John Gilstrap @FJTalleyAuthor - FJ Talley @EButlerBooks - Ellen Butler @AlanOrloff - Alan Orloff @AuthorBeckyMuth - Becky Muth @Jenna_Harte - Jenna Harte

@RebeccaYork43 - Rebecca York

…and many others… …oh, and me, @Archimage Time to get back to editing two novels, a book of short stories, and finishing my current work in progress, a satire.

Thank you all! Write on!

[jadeargents]

ig live — getting ready with me.

Checking if she was live, Jade smiled towards the camera as she raised her hand for a moment. “Hi everyone. Sorry for not announcing this live beforehand, but I didn’t know I was doing this until like five minutes ago. I’m getting ready to go out and I thought it would be a good idea to talk with you and answer some questions while I’m doing that.” She looked through her make up bag, taking only a moment of searching before she found the foundation. “I’ve already applied the primer, I’m gonna do foundation now. You can go ahead and ask anything you wanna know, as long as it’s not too personal.”

“How are you?” She read, a smile appearing on her features. “That’s nice of you to ask that first. I’m great, honestly. Living my best life. I’m writing a lot of songs, spending time with some of my favorite people, being on tour and singing my music... can’t imagine a better life right now.” Looking in the mirror she began applying the foundation, though she paused immediately after. “Disclaimer, I’m not a make up artist. I don’t know if I’m doing this the right way, I’m just mirroring what I’ve seen my own make up artist do.” Continuing, she didn’t say anything else until she finished the coverage. 

“Moving onto concealer now,” she stated as she opened the liquid concealer and applied a few lines under her eyes. She then turned towards her phone to read the next question. “What songs have I been obsessed with lately? Hold on.” Grabbing her computer, she opened her most recent Spotify playlist. “Bloodline by Denise is my fucking jam, she’s incredible. The entire album is great, honestly. Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me by Luana is also a favorite.” Seeing some of Julian’s songs on there, she decided it was time to close the playlist. She had given them enough reasons to believe they’re together without saying one of her favorite songs is a song that was written about her. “There’s a lot of them I like. I can make a playlist if you guys are interested.” She finished dabbing the concealer then moved onto the next question.  

“Have I written a song with anyone lately?” Choosing a light pink blush for her next move, she selected the right brush from her set and lightly applied the make up over her cheekbones at the same time as she replied. “I’ve written a song with Ofelia, and another one with Chasity and they’ll both be released eventually, in case you’re wondering.” She didn’t mention the other person she’s been writing songs with, since she knew they wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the live if she did. 

“Twitter or Instagram?” An uncomfortable smile appeared on her lips. “You don’t want my answer to that, I’m going to be mean.” Closing her blush, she looked towards the camera. “In all honesty, I prefer actual human interaction. Social media is great for interacting with fans, but it’s not my favorite. That’s why I’ve been distancing myself from Twitter lately. I’ve just found I feel much better when I prioritize spending time with people and limit the time I spend on my phone. If there’s a piece of advice you should take from me, it’s that one.”

Grabbing her highlighter, she looked towards her phone again to read the next question before focusing on the makeup. “Would I accept acting in a film?” Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. Depends if the film meant a lot to me. I would definitely have to take some acting classes before that, but why not?” She stopped applying her highlighter, setting down her brush for a moment. “Though I have to point out I wouldn’t push my singing career aside. Music is the priority, no matter what else is there.” Once she finished with that step, she chose a palette of gold tones and continued with the eyeshadow. 

“What do I think about what headlines are saying about me?” She huffed, shaking her head subtly. She was staring in the mirror as she applied her eyeshadow, but that didn’t last long because she couldn’t prevent herself from staring at the camera as she voiced her thoughts. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can quote me on that. I’m living my life and I’m being myself, and if that bothers anyone, it’s not my problem. I’m happy where I am right now and I’m not going to let anything ruin that for me.”

Reading the comments she received after her statement, her hand instinctively went to her chest, showcasing a mix of emotions on her expression. “I’m truly touched by your support, guys.” A smile appeared on her lips as she went back to adding the finishing touches to her eyeshadow. “Though I have to say you’re making me laugh with your reactions to me saying I’m happy. I didn’t think that was possible either, but what do you know? Maybe life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me after all. Maybe I should’ve just been more patient, but well, I trust that everything happens for a reason. I’m thankful for the state of mind I’m in right now, and that’s all that counts.”

“Where’s Julian? How would I know?” A chuckle left her lips, as she began applying her eyeliner. “I don’t track him. That’s not a healthy…” she stopped, looking straight at the camera with an amused smile, “… friendship.” She continued tracing her eyeliner as if she hadn’t said anything out of common, that made the comments on her phone suddenly increase. She didn’t say anything as she waited for them to calm down, so she could go back to answering questions.

“What’s the last movie I’ve seen?” She stopped for a moment, looking towards the ceiling as she was thinking. A smile appeared on her lips as she remembered. “Funny enough, it was with Julian. We watched “The Nun” at an open air cinema event in London.” Jade read the comments, a disbelieving smile on her lips, then responded to them as she put on mascara. “Bold of you guys to assume I need someone to hold me during horror movies. I’m not afraid of them. Or anything for that matter. I’m pretty much fearless.” Except emotions, but she wouldn’t mention that. She wouldn’t tell them that she did spend that night in Julian’s arms, not because she was afraid, but because she liked being close to him.

Applying red lipstick, she then looked towards her comments. A huff left her lips as her eyes read the question. They were unbelievable. “Am I meeting Julian? Yes, I am,” she said, “I am also meeting Luana and Chasity, that doesn’t change that I’m putting on make up for myself, not for him, or anyone else I’m seeing today.” She sighed, putting her make up bag aside to look straight at the camera. “I think we’ve covered enough the subject that women do not dress or put on make up for men for you to stop insinuating at this point. You can do better.”

“You know, I should have a feminist podcast,” she said, looking through her comments and expecting to see a lot of negativity, yet that wasn’t the case. They were all encouraging and excited which kind of made her feel bad for getting their hopes up. “That was a joke. Sorry, I would, but I literally don’t know how that would fit into my schedule,” she responded, shaking her head softly with an apologetic smile. “Besides, I think I’d get too frustrated with the issues discussed and that’s not an advantage when the purpose is getting educated. You should be taught about feminism from someone who has patience, meanwhile I’m gonna keep ranting about these problems on Instagram and Twitter.” She ended her explanation with a smile, feeling much more calm when explaining herself.  

“What’s my favorite shade of lipstick? The one I’m wearing right now, actually.” Inspecting what the label was saying, she then approached the lipstick to the camera. “It’s the Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick, in the shade of Royal Red, called Madamn.” 

She removed the accessory that was holding most of her hair back. “What do I have planned for the future career wise?” She smiled as she began styling strands of her hair into waves. “I’m glad you specified what future you mean, because personal life future, I couldn’t have told you.” Realizing what she just said, she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in. She should be more careful with the way she worded things. “Because I don’t know what the future has reserved for me in that aspect, not because there’s a particular event that would happen in the future.” The last thing she needed was people sending videos of her to Julian asking him if he proposed or asking him when they were getting married. “Anyway, back to the question. I can’t tell too much, but I’m preparing for the European leg for All The Stars World Tour as you know. I’m also writing a lot, and I’ve already filmed the first two music videos for the fourth album. I can’t reveal anything about the release date right now, but you know, I’ll keep you posted.”

Once she finished with the hair, she attached it in a way that it wasn’t standing in her face, but still was cascading down her back. “Last question,” she announced as she looked through the comments until she found a good one. “What was my favorite concert I’ve performed during this tour?” There was no hesitation there, a genuine smile appearing on her lips. “New York City.” There was no doubt why. Julian was at her concert that night, and having him backstage when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a month made her feel so happy. However, she needed to divert the fans’ attention from that. “New York is one of my favorite cities, and the energy there is just incredible.” She wasn’t lying, but there were other cities where she performed that were memorable too — New York stood out because of her significant other being there. She smiled as she thought about how in love she was. It wasn’t getting less surreal with time. 

“Thanks for keeping me company as I was getting ready. I’ll keep you updated on my outfit later when I’ll post a photo. Hope the rest of your day will be good. Take care.”

[potterandpromises]

Timeless, Garcy, and Jessica Logan?

Timeless

Favorite character: hmmm… probably Lucy when it comes down to it.

Least Favorite character: I certainly don’t like Wyatt as much as the show wants me/expects me to–but if he was given a proper character arc I would like him. No one immediately jumps to mind who I absolutely despise… I’ll go with Nicholas Keynes.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Garcy, Riya, Wyjess, Emma x Jessica (not as like a healthy, longterm ship, but I think it’s an interesting idea to explore in fic) Denise x Michelle.

Character I find most attractive: this is a show full of attractive people and you expect me to pick just one? For shame. (Is another way of saying Idk)

Character I would marry: I wouldn’t marry any of them.

Character I would be best friends with: I think I’d get along pretty well with Jiya.

a random thought: I really do want a season 3 if we pick up from 2x10. Even though I don’t trust the writers anymore.

An unpopular opinion: I actually don’t think Amy should/should have been saved. I think the narrative is pointing toward Lucy accepting  that Amy can’t be saved and  that being another layer of her motivation to destroy Emma and Rittenhouse.

My Canon OTP: Garcy

My Non-canon OTP: I don’t have one.

Most Badass Character: there are a lot of badass characters but I’ll go with Flynn.

Most Epic Villain: Emma, I love Emma. She’s this completely irredeemable yet sympathetic villain. And she is fascinating; from her believe that a person’s worth comes only from their achievements to her willingness to justify anything to get what she wants; she is one of my favorite villains in anything I’ve encountered thus far.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Lucy/Wyatt. They needed each other in season one, but aside from Wyatt’’s actions after Jessica’s return (unhealthy and incredibly selfish). Lucy has outgrown Wyatt. He’s still the same dude as he was when they met, just with his issues pushed to the surface. Whereas Lucy has changed and groom a lot since the Hindenburg, since her time with Rittenhouse, since everything. And I don’t think Wyatt understands that at all. Plus even if that wasn’t the case, what do they really have in common?

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): if we’re including the Christmas special? Literally all of them. Otherwise no one really jumps to mind–but I kind of wish we’d gotten more time with certain characters like Noah or Bam Bam. But I don’t know that that would actually benefit the story so much as I just like them.

Favourite Friendship: Flynn and Rufus. The two funniest characters in the show and you put them together? Magical.

Character I most identify with: I identify quite a bit with Lucy’s emotional state in season 2.

Character I wish I could be: errrrr, I don’t envy any of them.

Garcy

When I started shipping them: the beer scene, maybe? Definitely by the end of 2x06. I binge watched so I’m not sure exactly.

My thoughts: this beautiful, intense relationship built on friendship, respect, reading the other’s journal which was given to him by her in his darkest hour, being there for each other in the worst moments of their lives, and an unknown future together.

What makes me happy about them: s o f t,  c o m f o r t,  l o v e

What makes me sad about them: I suppose the ‘sad’ things about don’t make me feel that way exactly–but to answer the question that would be their separate beliefs they aren’t worthy of love.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: the opposite of the things I look for I guess? And this isn’t suspect  to this ship but having the other characters ship it, like they don’t have lives outside of these two characters. Although I do find the ‘taking bets’ trope to be be funny under certain circumstances, depends on how it’s done.

Things I look for in fanfic: a sense of respect and deep affection.

My wishlist: like in terms of moments? A hug, a bridal carry, Lucy calling him Garcia to get his attention when he’s in a bad place, a proper São Paulo scene, Flynn saving her from the car accident she had in college, bed sharing, and a kiss all come to mind (and that’s just off the top of my head).

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Flynn doesn’t really have any other ships (aside from Lorena who he would not stay with if she were to be brought back). If not Flynn, I’d like Lucy to end up with a woman.

My happily ever after for them: I don’t see the 2.5 kids white picket fence life for them. With Flynn’s trauma and Lucy’s family issues I don’t see them planning on having kids–but if it ware to happen accidentally they would go with it. I envision them moving in together after the war and figuring out how to deal with jobs and trauma and this new life together. I also  think they would have an undefined relationship for quite a long time. I’ll leave that there sense I have a partially written post-war fic and a few plot bunnies for others.

Jessica Logan

How I feel about this character: I think she has enormous potential.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Wyatt, and like I said earlier, her having a  relationship with Emma would be an interesting thing to explore in the context of a future redemption arc.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I actually think it would be interesting to see her and Flynn interact. Obviously there are ill feelings there but I don’t think it would be completely lost on them that they aren’t all that different. They both believed in a cause and did bad things for it. The only difference is Flynn was correct all along while Jessica was groomed by a cult-like organization into believing hers.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I could go either way on whether or not she and Wyatt get together if she wore to have a redemption arc. Working out their issues for the sake of their child and ending up together would be interesting to see. But so would A functional divorced relationship.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: (ignoring the Christmas special). Even though her Rittenhouse ‘plot twist’ was  obvious, I can ignore that if it were to lead to something interesting being done with her conflicting feelings related to Rittenhouse and Emma, the  fact that she was groomed as a child, the fact  she’s an anti-villain rather than a true villain. And I think a redemption arc would be perfect for that.

Favorite friendship for this character: she doesn’t really have any. She had one with Jiya but even if she were to join the team I don’t see them being friends in the same way again.

My crossover ship: I don’t really think much about crossover ships

[arianaistired]

My Experience Meeting Taylor (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK)

@taylorswift THATS US WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

(also I just finished typing this and it’s so so fucking long I’m so sorry this is a warning. I don’t even get to rep room for so long I can’t breathe I’m so sorry)

Okay, so I’m at work right now, but I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about Saturday--which can really be the tagline for the past 3 days of my life--and then I realized that I haven’t posted a single thing about it on tumblr dot com!!! I’ve really not shut the fuck up about it on twitter but this is a whole new platform, a whole new WORLD that I have not tapped into and annoyed everyone by talking CEASELESSLY about this experience. Like I’m pretty sure that everyone is going to murder me on twitter if i don’t shut up soon, but we’re not there yet on papersairplane dot tumblr dot com so here we fucking go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay the story of my day on Saturday really begins on Friday night after Metlife night 1, a joyous occasion wherein Taylor Swift Touched My Hand at the barricade. So I was just like floating on a fucking cloud after that concert, trekking back to the lowly island of Long Island, New York and texting my friend jess @monica-geller. I was thinking about how I’ve done literally nothing to try to meet miss swift in my entire meaningless existence on this earth and I was thinking about how it doesn’t hurt to TRY so I was like hm. I’ll make a post!!! I didn’t but more on that later.

So i tell jess I’m gonna make a post and then in classic ariana fashion I just sit there on the train not making my post bc i was like deadass...I have nothing to say like nothing about me is particularly interesting it’s not like my house caught on fire and, in the absence of a fire hose, i used the soothing lyrics of stay beautiful from taylor swift’s debut album (2006) to will the flames into submission. like i just really love that woman i don’t have anything else TO SAY. omg side note i love how this started off with proper grammar and spelling and capitalization and now i’m talking like i don’t even know how to read. whatever. so then liz @lastskiss decides to get a fucking idk like a call from God Herself (stream god is a woman by ariana grande) and she’s like wow i should make ariana a post and i see her tweet and i’m life fuck it i’ve told her not to in the past but i’m tired and lazy and nothing’s gonna come of this anyway so i’ll let her make the post. so i text her my seat info and then i’m like “wow my work is done here i’m so talented for pressing send on the imessage app.”

so liz makes this post and is like “should i post it :O” and jess is like “yeah post it that dumb bitch is never gonna do anything herself” which...tea….and liz, being an intellectual in addition to being a magical wizard, is like “tea” and does it. Idk why this is a short novel already but i’m extremely bored at work and trying to get all the deets in. so this is at like i wanna say 1:45am EST aka everyone’s asleep except for liz in LA and jess in australia. so i reblog it once bc if you haven’t already grasped it i’m a lazy dumbass with low expectations and i go to sleep like “my work here is done.” so liz and jess and a few other beautiful souls by jesse mccartney reblog the post while i’m asleep, unbeknownst to me, and a few hours later at 8am i wake up and get ready for brunch. So i’m well aware that it’s gonna rain tonight so i’m like i should not put that much effort into my appearance bc i’m going to look like a drowned rat by the end of this day (stupid, but not untrue i really did) so i like actually do the bare minimum like i just basically put on whatever was most comfortable to dance around in the pouring rain in and then zoomed out the door for brunch bc it was in harlem at 12 and i was on long island at 9 so i was like g2g.

change of scenery now: i’m at brunch in harlem with a bunch of friends and soon to be friends and its 12:15 and i’m like “cool i’m with people from the internet so it’s not rood if i check twitter” and I do and i see a dm notification and i’m like oh the let me check. And check i did. And what the fuck was there??? 10 hours after liz hit send on that blessed post what was in my direct messages on the twitter for iphone app? That’s right friends and foes. It was a dm from one miss taylor nation. And what do i do???????????? I turn my phone face down on the table and my hands just start shaking and i’m pretty sure i blacked out as if i was having a petit mal seizure. So i come to, and pick my phone back up and send them my name, my number, and the best time for them to call (“you can call me at literally any time and i will pick up”) and i turn my phone face up on the table and stare at it. And stare. And stare…………...and an hour and a half (!!!) later FINALLY i get a call from miss nation. And i sprinted out of that restaurant. The poor waitress probably thought that denise @pettyswift had threatened to murder me with how fast i ran out of the premises. 10 mins later i return to the table and everyone’s staring at me with expectant gazes and i’m just like completely utterly non reactive like i think i was just in shock because i didn’t understand what was happening. Like i literally expected it to be merch lmaosafujkafn like so to get to speak to whoever that was on the phone and to hear her say the words “if all is fine and you get confirmed, you will be meeting taylor tonight” was jsut….a shock to the system to say the least. So i was still anticipating it to go wrong because like what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK????? Anwyay. So i get the confirmation and i’m still completely nonreactive but i call my friend anthony @shakeitoffs to tell him (sidenote: i know we’re not supposed to tell anyone but like. I was going with him to the concert i had to. Like i was already under a lot of stress i’m sure everyone understands if i didn’t follow all the rules to a t) and i say goodbye to the table and i start making my journey from harlem to new jersey.

fast forward a few hours to ~4pm and literally the only thoughts in my brain are “what the fuck” “i’m so scared” and “can jess wake the fuck up” like idk why i was so concerned with jess waking up asjkfas like i just NEEDED HER TO WAKE UP. so anthony and i make our journey to metlife because i needed to be at will call between 4-5 to pick up my rep room pass. Anthony’s buzzing, i’m on the verge of throwing up, liz is freaking the fuck out, and jess still isn’t awake. And i get to will call and give them my ID fully expecting something to go wrong….and it does!!! The will call people are like “maam we havent gotten anything from taylor nation yet please check back in 20 mins.” cool. So finally at this point jess wakes up and is freaking out so now liz anthony and jess are all freaking out and i’m just terrified that something’s going to go wrong. FINALLY 15 mins later the will call people waved me back, i gave them my ID, and i received in my undeserving hands that yellow ass rep room paper. I nearly threw up. Bc at this point i had been like working under the assumption t hat something, ANYTHING, was going to go wrong like i half expected the uber to the stadium to spontaneously combust while i was in the car. So to have confirmation that i was supposed to be at a certain gate in less than 40 mins to then be brought backstage to meet taylor alison swift….was a lot. It’s still a lot.

So i take the picture and tweet it and everyone is being so nice and happy for me which only exacerbates the feeling of A Lotness bc i just felt so completely and utterly undeserving, but this isn’t me trying to get people to tell me i deserved it it’s just me being honest about how i felt. And on top of all of this, the fact that i had never in my life tried to meet taylor also meant that i had never in my life prepared to meet taylor. Of course i’ve thought about what i’d say, who hasn’t, but never under the actual assumption that i was meeting taylor. And NEVER with the confirmed knowledge that i was MEETING TAYLOR IN HALF AN HOUR. so, as aforementioned, IT WAS A LOT.

So skip to 5:30, the meeting time, and i’m standing on the floor where i’m supposed to be and waiting in line with like 6 other people waiting for taylor nation to take us backstage. And they start to!!! But then they get to me and ask for my name and i tell them and i’m NOT ON THE LIST JKANFKASJNFJ so im panicking once again like oh this is it. But i tell the tn guy that i got my dm at like 12 that day and i can show it to him and he was like “ohhhh i think i got a text about a late add” and looks through his texts and he’s like “yeah here you are.” which was terrifying like i was really a late ass add huh like someone was like add this girl huh. the.

So finally they bring us backstage.i think i must’ve been visibly distressed at this point bc one of the other fans in line came up to me and was like “you’re nervous too huh” like i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being taken to my execution. They stop us outside of the door and i can see scottifer swift and tree paine and andrea and i’m like “holy fuck this is actually happening.” And giuseppe the dancer walks past me and i’m like “holy fucking shit this is actually happening and also that man is so fucking hot.” they tell us to put all of our shit on the table, and i do (minus my yellow pass which i was still grasping as if it was going to be ripped out of my hands as cameramen crashed the scene like i was on punk’d and everyone including taylor was going to point and laugh at the fact that i actually for one second thought this was going to happen to me. Yes i’m dramatic what about it) and i enter the rep room. The snake habitat if you will. I enter a room and the first group goes in almost immediately and i hear taylor swfit’s speaking voice saying “hiiiiiiii” reverberate around the room and i’m like OH MY FUCKING GOD…….so like i said i was nervous and definitely visibly so. Like i’m pretty sure i was pacing. I was also singing along to lets get married by bleachers because i have morals, but i definitely looked scared. So the tn person in the room keeps offering to take polaroids of me next to all of the decorations ajkfjasnfkjnfa like she must’ve been trying to reassure me which i really appreciated.

The room is like a big dark well decorated room that has a well lit corner curtained off, which is where taylor and the photographer are and where the m&g takes place. So for my sanity i needed to like look into it so that my blood pressure could return and so that i didnt throw up on taylor the millisecond i walked into the glow of the ring light, so i casually walked to where the curtain area was and looked in between the two curtains where a sliver of bright ass light was escaping and i saw taylor in all her taylor swifitan glory with my own two unholy eyes and i was liek “well…..that did nothing to cure my stress” because she was just SO TALL AND BEAUTIFUL that i was just so fucking...idk. Idk i felt so nuts it was indescribable.

Lets get married stops playing and strawberries and cigarettes (i think?) starts and it’s my turn to go in. so i just like bite the bullet and do it and the first words that escape my stupid mouth are “holy fucking shit” and taylor laughed (i cant) and hugged me and she was just so. calm . well obviously shes calm shes meeting a known moron there’s nothing to be nervous abou there this was practically charity work for her like she’ll be able to use meeting me as a tax write off next year. Really i was doing her a service.

But anyway we pull back from the hug and she’s smiling at me and i’m pretty sure i was shaking a bit like my voice definitely was shaking. And i was just like “oh my god. I love you.” klasfjasnjkf like i was incapable of speaking at that point so i think she thought that i was just going to freeze up and not say a single word but before she could fill the awkward silence i just...started talking and did not shut upas fjkasnfjkajkf. Like i was like “oh my god hi i want you to know that i could not have anticipated this happening any less like i received the dm from taylor nation confirming this about 4 hours ago there was nothign to prepare me for this i didn’t even do anything my friend liz made a post and she and jess reblogged it at like 2 am last night none of this makes any sense” and she was like “oh my god that’s so nice of them” which TEA IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she said “i’m so happy i finally get the chance to meet you then” which i’m sure she says to everyone but she’s so good at making you feel like she means it like she said that and it was like i had taken a xanax like i was so calm after that. Everyone says you calm down in her presence and i’ve never taken that seriously, but YOU REALLY DO….like shes just so calming she makes you feel like she’s your friend and that she genuinely wants to talk to you as if this is a casual occurrence.

So i say “i really love you like i have an older sister and she’s cool and all but you have always felt like you were my older sister like you’ve been a constant in my life for like a decade. I don’t even remember my life before i was obsessed with you which is probably indicative of a brain issue if i can’t remember my life before i was 11 but its true” and she LAUGHED and like genuinely laughed which made me feel so good. Like maybe she’s just the most talented actress alive but i really felt like she thought i was funny……..the………..and then as if i didnt get it from her laughing she called me funny which is disgusting. I’m doing my best to remember this conversation i like blacked out ajskfnsanf. I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF whcih is so funny to think about now and honestly im fine with bc my life is boring anyway. But anyway i had been debating requesting a song all day, but i was like fuck it the worst thing she can do is turn me down and call me stupid for asking. So i prefaced my request with: “taylor i know youre probably getting different requests from everyone you meet and i know you also probably alreayd have a song in mind for tonight which is totally fine it’s your concert you can do whatever you want my opinion doesn’t matter i’l love anything you do” and shes laughs and is like “whats the song” and i tell her forever and always. And shes like “OHHHHH oh my god i didnt even think of that song. i have a list of songs in my mind that i can play at each show and forever & always didn’t even cross my mind i dont know why. I’ll be honest i already have a song in mind for tonight i’m going to play fearless because it’s raining” and i was like “THATS SO GREAT i love that song it’s your concert it’s your show do whatever you want i love fearless fearless is my favorite album” and she was like “that’s such a good request i didn’t evne think about that song” and i started telling her how i love that song because it was like the song that really got me into her music bc i saw her talking about it on ellen and she literally interrupted me which was an honor and goes “OH MY GOD and it has the ‘it rains in your bedroom eveyrthing is wrong it rains when youre here and it rains when you’re gone’ line and its going to rain!!! oh my god that’s such a good song i love that song” and i said me too!! Also i’m her complimenting her own song god she’s so talented. She’s absolutely right it is SUCH a good song. And i said “well its raining again tomorrow and i’ll be there!!!” and she was like “but i was thinking about playing [song she didn’t play but i dont want to say--not to be purposefully evasive bc i know its annoying--but bc i dont want her to hate me for saying it publicly asjkfjkas and also bc if she does it at gillette i want to let it be a surprise :( i feel so annoying im sorry] tomorrow because a lot of people requested it” and i was like “I LOVE THAT SONG” and then said something about the song.

And then she said (again) that forever & always was a good request and then looked SO SORRY when she was like “i’m so sorry i’m probably not going to play that today or tomorrow because i already have songs in mind but i promise i’ll try to play it later even though you probably won’t be there :(” and i was like “NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE i loved all the songs you mentioned. I’d love any song that you played it’s your concert do whatever you want you don’t ever have to play it if you dont want to it’s your show you call the shots” and she was like “i love how you keep telling me i can do whatever i want it’s so thoughtful and supportive you’re so nice” LIKE SHE KEPT TELLING ME I WAS NICE THIS WHOLE TIME and i was like “WELL PEOPLE CAN BE DEMANDING” and she was like “YEAH THEY REALLY CAN BE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’LL GET MAD AT ME OVER ANYTHING they’ll get mad at me if i play a song they don’t like or if i dont play a song they like-” and i was like “i know they’ll get mad at you for excluding so it goes and i’m just like guys its her concert let her live” and she laughed again and called me nice again like she kept saying i’m nice which seems so inconsequential tkjajfnjsa but it was so kind of her shes the best.

So at this point we had been there for a long ass time like it felt long and i was like “wait fuck i haven’t even introduced myself to you” and she was like “whats your name” and i said ariana and she goes “wait like air-iana or like are-iana” and i was like “i literally dont care you can call me whatever you want and i’ll respond” and she like laughed AGAIN and was like “youll just respond to anything huh. But seriously what is it” and i said my name again she was like “ariana. Cool.” bye and then she was like “well do you want to take a picture?” which is when i realized how long it had been and i was like “YEAH” and she just pulled me into a hug for a hugging picture which felt cute bc thats what i wanted to do anyway but she was probably just like god this girl has been in here for 8 years im not asking her what pose she wants to do can we please get going with this jskfnajafs but i didnt mind i was on cloud 9. So as shes hugging me i’m like “oh my god i’m going to blink in this picture and then i’ll have to die” and she was like “you wont blink i promise you wont blink she (the photog) will check to make sure” so we take the pic, the photographer tells me i’m good, and then taylor hugs me again and was like “it’s so nice to meet you” and i was like “it’s so nice to meet you too i didnt expect any of this. thank you so much for all of this i love you” and she huggged me again and called me nice again and then we said bye.

And then the taylor nation girl who was taking my picture (who i then gave all of my polaroids and my rep room pass to for her to hold before i went int asjkfnsafj) was like “here you go sweetie” and gave it to me and then told me to go back out and wait in the hall. And like idk why but once i left the photo area it was like every overwhelming emotion i had felt that entire day came rushing out like i just started crying silently like w tears streaming down my face. Asjkfnaskfjafkj. Like i dont cry so it was so bizarre. I didnt know what was happening. So then i was the only one out there bc i guess the first group had already been escorted out, so i was waiting for the rest of the people to be done and just crying. And then andrea was there so i said hi while crying and she came up to me and was like “hi honey how was it?!?!?” and i was like sarcastically like “oh it was okay ive had better days” and i dont think she knew i was joking at first like her face fell a bit before she realized i cant breahjtraefjs btu she was like “yeah its just a normal saturday for you no big deal” and then i asked her for a picture and she complied of course and i was like “im so sorry for crying idk why im crying” and she was like “its okay sweetie youve been through a lot today” which is honestly the most truthful thing ive ever heard in my life. And then i said “i raelly have” and she was like “this is a really amazing experience for you” and once again no lies detected but it was so funny that she said that about me MEETING HER DAUGHTER JKjkjskafjkfjska. And then i thanked her for raising taylor because i love her or something i cant breahfghasf and she was like “it was my pleasure she made it easy on me” and then finally i was escorted out and i was just crying.

Okay so now i just wanted to tahnk everyone who has been nice to me since saturday it means so so much like obviously i didnt think people would be MEAN TO ME but everyone has been soooooo nice i appreciate it a lot. And also like mayb this is controversial 2 say in this economy but i also want to say that all of the taylor nation people were so nice to me like i think everyones a bit hard on them at times like theyre just doing their jobs guys and it doesnt seem like an easy job sajkfnkjas considering they have to deal with how annoying some of us can be. And also i want to thank all of my friends, jess and liz in particular, bc like i didnt do anything obviously akjfanjksfj like this was all them and i love them so much like they were so happy for me it was equally as exciting to tell them as it was to actually meet taylro idk i just love them so much. IDK WHY IM TREATING THIS LIKE AN OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH but i obviously obviously i want to thank @taylorswift Idk if you saw my post and requested to meet me or if it was just a coincidence but it was honestly such an amazing experinece and you were so GOOD at talking i cant describe it but you were so calming and i really appreciated it. I feel like we dont appreciate all u do for us enough like youre just so kind and amazing i love you taylor swift i aint never gona stop loving you taylor swift. Idk this was so amazing and so unexpected and i still dont understand how any of this happened to me. THIS WAS CRAZY and it was just everything like everything u hear about meeting taylor is just so true…..shes just so good shes such a good person i want 2 cry………………

if u read all of this…..idk why youd do that but thank you and also im sorry for how long it was i just needed to write it all down for my own memory. Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lostinreality014]

A Perfect Birthday (Evie)

Author’s Notes: Since writing A Perfect Christmas, I’ve had it in my mind that Niall and Evie adopt a husky puppy at some point in time after they get married. I’ll attribute a part of that to my own personal obsession with huskies. Any how... I went back and forth on how their puppy would come into the picture and decided Niall would surprise Evie for her birthday. So that’s how this came about. Not sure this blurb is as strong as APC, but hopefully you all like it. :)

Thank you to the ever so lovely @wdmsusie for being beta to this piece. Hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to write a fully chaptered fic as amazing as the stories she shares with us :)

This piece will also be posted to my Wattpad account.

Any pieces I post here are mine and all rights are reserved. I do not give permission for my work to be posted on any other platform. Unless I explicitly state that I have posted one of my works on another platform, please let me know immediately if you see my writing anywhere other than Tumblr. Thank you.

“Happy birthday, darlin.” Niall said softly, planting gentle kisses along my bare shoulder. If not for his kisses pulling me out of my peaceful sleep, I wouldn’t have heard his happy birthday wish.

“Hmm…” I hummed softly as I turned my head on my pillow toward him. “Thought you were gonna let me sleep in for my birthday.”

“I did.” I felt him chuckle more than I heard it. “It’s nearly noon.” My eyes snapped open in shock.

“Really?” he nodded with another chuckle.

“Mhm. And you’ve got one very impatient nephew who is dyin to wish you a happy birthday.” There was no stopping the pout from forming on my lips at the thought of Theo wanting to wish me a happy birthday.

“Aww. I miss the little guy.”

“He misses you too. Didn’t even want to talk to me when I answered me phone earlier. Just asked for you cause you weren’t answerin your phone.”

“What can I say?” I shrugged with a smirk. “I have that magic touch.”

“You’re so funny.” He rolled his eyes fondly. “What do you say to breakfast for lunch in bed and a FaceTime call with your nephew before I spoil you for your birthday?”

“I think breakfast in bed is spoiling enough,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “I don’t need anything else. Just wanna spend my day with you.” I smiled.

“I’m still gonna spoil ya even if ya protest.” I swatted at his chest lazily, earning a hearty chuckle from him. “What would you like for breakfast, birthday girl?”

“Hmm… an omelette sounds good. With some fruit and a cup of tea.”

“I think I can whip that up real quick.” He smiled, which turned into a teasing smirk. “And look who’s calling again.”

“I’ve never known someone so enthusiastic about wishing someone a happy birthday.” I giggled as he answered the call.

“Hey little man. Callin me every ten minutes won’t wake up your Aunt Evie any sooner.” He smirked.

“I know. But I gots ta wish her a Happy Birfday. And it’s almost lunch time!” he exclaimed. I felt my heart melt in my chest. “Is she awake yet?”

“Hold on a sec and let me check.” I watched him mute the call then place the phone in his lap so it was a black screen for a minute or two.

“You’re so mean.” I admonished though it was hard not to smile.

“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing if the roles were reversed.”

“Quit stalling and let him wish me a happy birthday.” He laughed, picked his phone back up, and unmuted the call.

“Guess who finally woke up?” Niall smirked at Theo.

“AUNT EVIE!” He exclaimed. We heard Denise tell him to lower his voice in the background.

“Give her just a second and she’ll be on the phone, yeah?”

“Okay.” If I had to guess, he was probably bouncing around waiting for me to appear on screen.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with breakfast.” Niall whispered as he stood up. I nodded as he handed me his phone then pecked a gentle kiss to my forehead before heading out of the room.

“AUNT EVIE! HAPPY BIRFDAY!” Theo exclaimed when I appeared on screen.

“Thank you!” I smiled at him. “You’ve been waiting a long time to see me haven’t you?” He nodded emphatically.

“You was asleep for a looooong time.” He said. He was so matter of fact about it it made me giggle.

“I was, wasn’t I?”

“Uh huh. Why you sleep so long?”

“Well, I was at work really late last night and I didn’t get home until it was way after your bedtime. So one of my birthday presents from Uncle Niall was to let me sleep as long as I wanted.”

“That’s a good present.” He said with a smile.

“Yes it is. It’s a lovely present.”

“Have you got any other presents yet?”

“Not yet. But Uncle Niall said he’s going to spoil me for my birthday. So I bet that means more presents.”

“Good. You deserve lotsa presents.”

“I do?” he nodded and I giggled.

“I make sure Uncle Niall knows.” He said adamantly.

“I think he already knows,” I winked at him as Denise called for his attention in the background.

“I gots ta go, Aunt Evie. Mumma says it’s time for lunch.” I giggled and nodded.

“You go enjoy lunch. And thank you for the birthday wishes.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled big.

“I love you a lot.”

“I love you more!” He exclaimed.

“Not possible.” I smiled. “Go get your lunch and I’ll talk to you soon okay?”

“Okay. Bye bye!” we waved at each other for a moment before the call disconnected and I was met with the blank screen of Niall’s phone.

A couple of hours later, after enjoying a birthday breakfast in bed with Niall, and getting myself ready for the rest of the day, we were walking around the farmer’s market not far from our house. Walking through this market was one of my favorite things to do. I’d always found it calming to walk through the various aisles full of tables and tents, looking at everything people had to sell whether it was sweets, artwork, or handmade clothing and jewelry. Perhaps it was calming to me because it reminded me of all the early Saturday mornings I spent with mum at local markets back in Mullingar when I was younger.

“Havin a good birthday so far?” Niall asked as we turned down another aisle of tents and tables.

“Couldn’t ask for a better way to spend my birthday.” I smiled up at him.

“Good. You deserve the best birthday every year,” he returned the smile, dropping a kiss to my forehead as his hand gave my waist a gentle, loving squeeze. “See anything ya like?”

“Of course. I always find things that catch my eye. Not that you need to buy me anything else.” he scoffed.

“Of course I do. It’s your birthday. And Theo made it perfectly clear you deserve lots of presents.” There was no stopping the laugh that escaped from the back of my throat.

“He’s eight. Of course he’s going to say everyone deserves lots of birthday presents.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“Mhm.” I hummed, narrowing my eyes at him. A table a few meters from us caught my attention as he slowed our pace down before stopping at a table that had vintage band tees and various records on display. If my attention hadn’t already been elsewhere, I would have stopped to browse the shirts and records on display.

“There’s a table just down the way I want to check out.” I told him, giving his hand a squeeze. “Catch up to me?”

“Sure. I won’t be long,” He smiled. I untangled our fingers and made my way down the aisle, stopping in front of the table that had some of the most unique, and beautiful handmade jewelry I’d seen in a long time.

“Hello.” A kind, older woman smiled as I walked up.

“Hello. How are you?” I smiled.

“I’m wonderful. How are you?”

“Never been better.”

“Oh that’s wonderful to hear. Looking for anything in particular or just browsing?”

“Just browsing for the moment. My mum’s birthday is coming up soon and I haven’t the slightest idea what to get her. Kind of hoping something will jump out at me.”

“The right gift will come along. Browse as long as you like and I’m here if you have any questions.”

“Great. Thank you.” I smiled as I started looking at all the jewelry that she had out on display. A few pieces made me think of Mum, but nothing quite jumped at me. Until I saw a necklace and earring set a few minutes later. I gently picked up the set so I could get a closer look at it. It was absolutely perfect for mum. The right color, the right style, and the earrings weren’t too big.

A few minutes later, I had purchased mum’s birthday present and was tucking it safely into my purse. After thanking the woman one final time and wishing her a lovely afternoon, I glanced back to see Niall still at the table I’d left him at and chuckled to myself. I was about to turn and head back to meet him, but was immediately distracted by a pen of husky puppies. How I hadn’t seen them prior to stopping at the table I’d just left was beyond me.

“Oh my goodness.” I cooed softly as I approached the pen. “They’re so sweet.”

“They are, aren’t they?” The middle aged woman asked with a smile as she marked her place in the book she was reading. “You’re welcome to visit with them.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” She smiled, walking over and opening the small door to the pen for me. As soon as I stepped through the small door, all but one of the puppies made their way toward me, barking and whining excitedly.

“Are they all in need of homes?” I asked as I tried to give each puppy in front of me some attention.

“They are. I’ve just recently posted a notice they’re available for adoption.”

“They’re so precious. I’d take them all but my husband would kill me.” I chuckled as the puppies started jumping around and wrestling with each other to get my attention. The one puppy not partaking in the shenanigans of its siblings had made its way toward me, staying close to the wall of the pen.

“That’s the general consensus we get.” she chuckled fondly. “I’m Laura by the way.”

“I’m Evie. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” she smiled as the one puppy who wanted to do with the comotion gently pawed at my leg. I pouted and scooped up the ball of fluff with eyes that were the color of Niall’s.

“Hello precious. What’s your name?” I asked, settling the puppy in my lap.

“That’s Selke. She’s normally quite shy and it usually takes her a long time to warm up to people. You’re actually the first person she’s approached on her own so quickly.”

“Aren’t you just the sweetest thing.” I cooed as she curled up in my lap, her chin resting on my thigh. “Selke is an interesting name. Does it mean something?” I asked, looking up at Laura.

“Interestingly enough, she’s named after an award that’s given to hockey players. My husband is originally from the States and is a big hockey fan. There are awards for the player that scored the most points in the season, the best defenseman, the player with the best sportsmanlike conduct, that kind of thing. I don’t remember what the Selke award is for, but she responded to the name so it stuck.”

“I think it suits her.” I smiled as she lifted her head up to look at me.  

“I agree. Looks like she’s taken quite the liking to you.”

“Seems so. Which means it’s gonna break my heart to leave her.”

“Ev?” I heard Niall’s voice from a few feet away. He must have heard me talking to Laura.

“Over here.” I called, already bracing myself for whatever reaction I was about to get from him.

“Oh no.” he half groaned, knowing it was going to be a chore to get me to leave. “Never should’ve let you wander off on your own. Now I’ll never get ya home.”

“You’re so funny.” I said before sticking my tongue out at him. Laura giggled at the pair of us. “And be nice. It’s my birthday.”

“Would you like to join her?” Niall thought about it for a moment before nodding.

“Wouldn’t hurt I guess. But we’re not leavin with one of ‘em.” He stepped through after Laura opened the gate just has she’d done for me to make sure none of the puppies escaped. I made a face at him. I knew of his reservations of adopting a puppy and I completely understood them. But one of these days I’d convince him that having a dog wouldn’t be so bad.

As soon as he sat down next to me on the other stool, the puppies ran up to him, barking excitedly. Selke lifted her head off my thigh again and whined at him softly, still not the least bit interested in participating in the antics of her brothers and sisters. I smiled when he slid off the stool to sit on the ground, the puppies immediately climbing into his lap. I laughed as an uncharacteristically high pitched giggle escaped his throat, the puppies jumping up in his face and trying to lick him so he’d give them more attention.

“I’ve only got two hands,” he laughed as one of the puppies toppled out of his lap. I couldn’t help but giggle. “Ya alright there, lil one?” he asked as he helped the puppy back up onto its feet.

“How old are they?” I asked Laura as I continued to pet Selke and watch Niall entertain the others.

“Just turned six weeks old yesterday. They still need a couple more weeks with their mumma before they can head off on their own.” Selke lifted her head off my thigh again and sniffed at Niall, whining softly in his ear. He immediately turned his attention to her, and the look on his face when he came eye to eye with her made my heart squeeze in my chest.

“Perfect. That gives us time to puppy proof our house.” Niall said. My head snapped back to him so quickly I’m surprised I didn’t give myself whiplash.

“Puppy proof...?” I started. He nodded, his smile stretching across his face. “But you just...”

“Happy birthday, darlin.” Tears welled up in my eyes immediately.

“Oh my god.” I whispered, a tear slipping free before I could stop it. “Are you serious?”

“Mhm.”

“You better not be messin with me.” He laughed and shook his head.

“Not messin with ya, love.” I shook my head in disbelief as a few more tears escaped. “One of these cute pups is comin home with us.”

“Did you just decide this? Or was it planned?”

“It was planned. With some help.” He glanced up at Laura, who was leaning against the railing, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“You cheeky bastard.” I muttered, wiping the tears from my face. He laughed again and leaned over to peck a kiss to my knee as that was the only part of me in his reach.

“I’ll leave you two to spend some time with the puppies so you can get to know them. I’m here if you have any questions.” We nodded and thanked her before turning back to each other.

“I can’t believe you.” I said softly, looking down at him, tears still in my eyes.

“Can’t believe I managed to completely surprise you.”

“I can’t either. Only other time was when you proposed.” I smirked.

“It hasn’t been easy to keep this a secret. I’ll tell ya that.” Selke sniffed at his hair before licking at his nose. “You’re cute.” he smiled as he reached up to scratch behind her ears.

“Her name is Selke.”

“Look at those eyes. They’re stunnin. And that face.”

“I don’t see how anyone could say no to that face,” I commented.

“You’d have to have a heart of ice to say no to her. Or any of these little guys.” He giggled as a couple of the other puppies scampered back over to him. Selke watched them for a moment before wiggling around in my lap and settling down on her back, with all fours in the air.

“Oh you want a belly rub, don’t ya?” I asked as I started scratching her chest and tummy gently. I completely melted when she wrapped her little paws around my wrist, her head lolling off to the side, clearly enjoying the tummy rub.

“Hand me my phone, please?” I asked Niall. He pulled it from my purse, opening the camera app on it before handing it to me. I snapped a few pictures of her before dropping my phone back into my purse. She enjoyed her tummy rub for a few seconds more before rolling back onto her side and barking softly.

“I think she wants some Niall cuddles.” I smiled as I scooped her up and set her in Niall’s lap. The two puppies that had just been climbing all over him were now running around by my feet, chasing each other and wrestling once one caught the other. The other three puppies had calmed down and were curled up next to their mumma for a nap.

“This face kills me.” He pouted as Selke sat back on her hind legs, her tiny front paws resting against his chest. He helped steady her with one hand so she wouldn’t topple over, while gently scratching behind her ear with his other hand.

“It’s the eyes. And that little smile.”

“Oh now she’s layin it on. Won’t let go of me hand.” He pouted. “Any idea which one you’d like to bring home with us?” Niall asked.

“Selke.” I answered without hesitation. Even though we hadn’t spent too much time with the other puppies, there was something about Selke that felt right. And it wasn’t that the other puppies weren’t just as sweet and friendly as Selke was. Because they were. But knowing that I was the first person she approached on her own only cemented the fact that she was the right match for the two of us.

“What do ya say, Selke girl? Wanna come live with us?” She barked softly and licked at Niall’s chin.

“I think that’s puppy for yes.” I giggled.

“I think so too.” He smiled, looking up at me. I leaned down and kissed him softly.

“Thanks for the best, and most perfect, birthday present ever.” I smiled, pecking his lips once more before sitting up a bit.

“You’re welcome, my love. Happy birthday.”

[aniallstory-blog]

Chapter Six

Note: I’ve been super inspired and writing up a storm this week! I wrote two whole chapters today so I decided to post another one. If it would be easier for people to follow if I posted them on a more set schedule then just let me know and I’ll figure something out!

Also, if there’s any requests for parts of Avery and Niall’s past that you’d like to read about feel free to make suggestions and I’ll see if I can fit them in! :)

A week later I found myself wandering through Dublin airport, my eyes peeled for any sign of Niall. It was a bit ridiculous, we were flying in from completely different countries after all, but I was eager to see him and his flight did land only ten minutes before mine. After our conversation last weekend when he was drunk, Niall had suddenly become much more mushy and romantic. He was always open about his feelings, we both were, but there were times when he was away that he would take it to another level. There were novel length text messages telling me how much I mean to him, constant admissions of love and selfies almost every time I checked my phone. He missed me and I was soaking it up. After the doubts had started to creep in about Niall's desire to marry me, his sudden overly affectionate attitude was just what I needed.

“Avery! Over here!” I heard the voice of my future mother-in-law call out.

I turned towards her voice and spotted her through the crowd, standing with Niall's grandmother Margaret as well.

“Hello!” I smiled once I'd made my way towards them. “It's so good to see you both!”

I quickly gave them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“How was your flight?” Margaret asked. “Not too bumpy I hope, it's a windy day today.”

“It wasn't too bad,” I assured her. “A bit rough on the landing, but I survived.”

“We're glad to hear that!” Maura laughed. “Can I take your bag?”

“Oh no, I'm fine, thanks.” I smiled. “Have you seen Niall yet?”

They shared a knowing smile, probably silently mocking me for how desperate I was to see him.

“His flight landed at the other terminal,” Maura explained. I hadn't even thought about that. “He said he'd walk over once he made it through passport control so he shouldn't be too long now.”

“Great,” I smiled, looking to the entrance almost as if I expected him to be there already. As I looked back towards his family, my eyes settled on a little cafe and I suddenly realized I hadn't had a coffee yet. “Would either of you like a tea or coffee? I think I'm going to grab one.”

“That sounds lovely!” Margaret agreed.

-

We had been sat at the table drinking our coffee (which I had insisted was my treat despite much protest) for almost twenty minutes when a very familiar voice interrupted our conversation.

“There ya are!” He said, sounding exasperated. “Been wanderin' around this terminal for ages lookin' for the three of ye.”

Apparently we'd been so caught up in our conversation that we'd forgotten to keep an eye on the door.

“Sorry, honey,” Maura apologized as I jumped out of my chair and threw my arms around him. “We weren't sure how long you'd be.”

Niall let go of his suitcase and wrapped his arms around me as well, but there was no squeeze or sign of the affection he'd been showering me with all week.

“Did ya get me a coffee at least?” He grumbled as I pulled out of our little embrace.

“I didn't want it to get cold if it took you a while to get here,” I explained. “But I can get you want now if you'd like one.”

He huffed and reached for his wallet.

“Can get it myself,” He mumbled causing me to frown and swat him as his grandmother and mother shared another knowing look. They'd obviously dealt with Niall in this mood just as often as I had.

“Don't be like that, Niall.” I chided him. “I haven't seen you in weeks, your family haven't seen you since Christmas and you're being a grump because we weren't standing by the door waiting for you?”

Niall sighed and I could see the tension ease from his shoulders.

“Sorry, Ava, you're right,” He conceded. “M'just jetlagged and cranky, didn't sleep much on the plane.”

“Well I'll warn you now then,” Maura spoke up as Niall put an arm back around me so I could snuggle into his side. “Your brother's at home. Theo's been desperate to see you since he heard you were comin'.”

I glanced up at Niall, expecting more annoyance given the tension that had risen between the two brothers over the last few years, but was relieved when he simply shrugged.

“S'okay, I can deal with him. Haven't seen Theo in far too long anyway.”

Maura's face lit up at Niall's decision to take the high road, the tension between her sons always bothering her more than she wanted to admit.

“Great, then get your coffee if you're going to and we'll be on our way.”

-

“Uncle Niall!” Theo screeched, running towards us as soon as we walked through the door.

“Theo!” Niall screamed back, any hint of his earlier annoyance disappearing completely as he scooped him up into his arms. “How've ya been buddy?”

“Good!” He squeaked throwing his arms around Niall's neck. “Tanks for comin' to visit!”

“Of course! Gotta come see me favourite nephew!” Niall turned so they were facing me. “And look who else came to say hi!”

“Auntie Avery!” He beamed as he leaned over to give me a hug while Niall held him up.

“Hey, Theo!” I smiled, squeezing him gently. “When did you get so big? You've grown so much since I last saw you!”

Theo giggled and buried his face in Niall's neck shyly. Niall was soaking it all up. I knew that despite his issues with his brother, he loved his nephew and would have liked to be able to see him more. He was great with kids and Theo couldn't have asked for a better uncle.

“Theo! I told you not to bombard them the moment they walked through the door!” Denise scolded as she appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Sorry, Mama,” Theo mumbled sheepishly, keeping his face tucked against Niall.”Sorry, Uncle Niall.”

“S'alright, little man. I was just as excited to see ya too,” Niall assured him. “But ya gotta listen to your Ma, alright? They always know best.”

Theo nodded as Maura squeezed past the two of them.

“Well let's not stand in the doorway all day. Come sit down, leave the bags and we'll move them up to your room later.” She insisted as she walked by Denise into the living room. “Would anyone like a cup of tea?”

I followed her, ready to help as everyone chorused that they would like tea, stopping to hug Denise on my way.

-

A few hours later I was curled up in a corner of Maura's couch with my second cup of tea, talking with the women in Niall's family. Niall and his brother were outside with Theo playing with a little toy golf set Niall had brought over for his nephew. It was really meant to be used inside, but Theo insisted he wanted to play properly which meant Niall and Greg were spending most of the afternoon chasing after the little fake ball as it got swept away in the wind.

“Niall's so good with Theo,” Margaret mused as we looked out the window and saw Niall fall dramatically to the ground as the ball hit him square in the face. Theo ran over, giggling hysterically to make sure he was okay and Niall grabbed him and pulled him to the ground as soon as he got close enough.

“He is,” I smiled. “He's great with all kids really.”

Maura smirked and eyed me up.

“Well I wouldn't say no to more grandchildren,” She informed me causing Denise to laugh and shake her head.

“They're not even married yet,” She pointed out. “Leave the poor girl alone until after that at least. Besides, they might not even want kids.”

Maura and Margaret both looked horrified at the idea.

“We do,” I said with a laugh as I thought back to first time we'd had that conversation.

*

I was being uncharacteristically quiet on the drive home and I knew Niall had noticed, but there were too many thoughts racing through my mind for me to care. We'd been out at dinner with the rest of One Direction since it was the first time all the guys had been in the same city since the hiatus had started a few months ago. They were desperate not to lose touch or get too busy with their own lives so they'd made sure to schedule in a night out together when they could. I'd turned down every alcoholic drink offered to me and had barely said a word the whole time and I knew it was killing Niall, but I couldn't tell him, not until I knew for sure.

I was late. Almost an entire week. And I was terrified. I'd only been on birth control for a month so I wasn't entirely used to it, but I knew my period was supposed to start three or four days after I finished the active pills, definitely not after I started the next pack. I cursed myself for trusting it. We'd scrapped the condoms as soon as it was safe to do so and the lack of barrier had brought us closer, but now I was thinking it wasn't worth it. Obviously the pill hadn't worked and we'd made the biggest mistake of our lives.

I sighed quietly to myself and finally drew my eyes from where I'd been staring at my hands in my lap. Immediately I saw a 24 hour pharmacy on the corner of the intersection we were approaching and I knew what I needed to do.

“Pull in there,” I said before I could stop myself, my voice rough and quiet from lack of use.

“What?” Niall asked, looking shocked to hear me speak.

“Pull in there!” I repeated, louder and with more urgency, panicked that he would miss the turn.

He gave me a look that clearly told me how insane he thought I was, but did as I asked. Once we were parked, I pulled off my seat belt, but froze when he did the same.

“Wait here,” I demanded.

“What?” He asked again, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Why can't I come in with ya? Stretch me legs a bit.”

“We've only been driving for ten minutes, your legs are fine,” I insisted, my tone much harsher than I intended. “Wait here.”

Niall shook his head, but his movement stilled and I knew he'd do as I asked so I got out of the car as he mumbled something about how ridiculous I was acting.

I found the pregnancy tests quickly and silently prayed that the older man behind the counter didn't have a daughter who was obsessed with One Direction, but luckily he didn't seem to have a clue who I was and I very much doubted there would be headlines about my purchase in the morning.

When I got back to the car, the air was tense.

“Okay, we can go,” I told Niall, wrapping the bag around the box inside it so it was well hidden from view.

“Not going anywhere until you tell me what ya just bought,” Niall said sternly, his voice telling me there was no room for arguing. My stomach clenched with nerves and I felt like I was about to throw up.

“Tampons?” I offered weakly, but regretted it when I saw a flash of anger in Niall's eyes.

“Don't lie to me,” He scolded. “You've been quiet all day, couldn't even perk up around our friends and you didn't have a drop of alcohol all night. A-are ya pregnant?”

Hearing him say the word out loud combined with the nervous hesitation when he asked me made tears well up in my eyes.

“I don't know,” I admitted. “That's why I bought the test.”

“Shit,” Niall cursed as he ran a hand through his hair and that was all it took for the tears I'd been holding back all day to break through. Before Niall could even blink I was sobbing hysterically in the passenger seat of his car. “Whoa, hey. Calm down. S'gonna be okay, Ava.”

“I'm sorry,” I sobbed. “I'm so sorry. I know we didn't plan this and I know you're going to Asia with your cousins and it's such horrible timing. I don't know how it happened! I swear I didn't do it on purpose, I'm not trying to trap you!”

“Trap me? What're ya on about?” He asked, reaching out to hold my hand. “Ya don't need to trap me, m'not goin' anywhere. And I'm only goin’ to Asia for six weeks or I can cancel the whole thing if that's what ya want. We can go anytime. That's if ya even are pregnant. Let's find out before we start the waterworks, alright?”

I sniffled, wiping my eyes as I nodded. My sobs had subsided as Niall's calm voice reassured me and he rubbed my hand with his thumb.

“Sorry, I've just been holding that in all day,” I admitted through my sniffling. “I guess the dam just broke.”

“S'alright. Now let's get home and figure this out.”

The drive home was silent. Niall kept his hand  in mine the whole way and I could feel the slight shake in his fingers. He was as scared as I was. I practically tore out of the car when I got to the house, but Niall was hot on my heels.

“Wait out there!” I shouted through the bathroom door as I wiggled my pants down.

Once the deed was done, I set the two tests on the counter and set the timer on my phone for five minutes.

“I thought birth control was supposed to be 99 percent effective,” Niall mumbled as I walked out of the bathroom.

He was sat on the bed, looking down at his hands as he picked at his nails and I realized that now it was my turn to reassure him a bit.

“It is, but there's always that one percent. Maybe we're just unlucky,” I pointed out. “And I know we did what they said and waited seven days before not using condoms, but maybe we should have waited eight just to be sure.”

“Well if they want ya to wait eight then they should tell ya that!” Niall practically shrieked. “Jesus Christ, ya can't change the rules like that. Not when there's so much at stake!”

“I know, Ni,” I assured him, sitting next to him. “And that might not be true, I'm just throwing out ideas. Trying to figure it out myself. I took all my pills exactly on time, I never missed a day. I think, if I am, it's just a fluke.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, fighting back tears of my own once again.

“I must have some determined sperm,” He joked, placing his hand on my leg and squeezing gently. “But we'll get through this, alright? We have the money and I'm off work indefinitely. I'll take care of ya. I promise.”

I teared up again at his assurance, but my phone went off before I could answer him. I leapt off the bed and into the bathroom, snatching the two tests I'd taken off the counter. Both of them clearly showed one single line.

“I'm not pregnant,” I breathed out, relief filling every part of my body. “We're not having a baby.”

“Woohoo!” Niall cheered, pumping his fist in the air and actually jumping for joy. “Thank fuckin' God!”

He continued cheering and laughing for a few minutes, until he looked up and noticed my face.

“You don't have to be that happy about it,” I told him before he had time to question why I wasn't celebrating with him.

“Are ya jokin'? Don't tell me ya actually wanted to be.”

“No, no, definitely not,” I assured him. “The timing is horrible and we're still so young.”

“So what's not to be happy about then?”

“You're acting like having children with me would be the worst thing in the world.”

I was being a tad harsh, I knew it. But it had been a rough, long, emotional day and seeing his extreme reaction to me not being pregnant was a bit unsettling. We'd never talked about kids, but I wanted to have some one day and this level of reaction was making me think that maybe he didn't.

The smile on his face fell and I instantly felt bad.

“I didn't mean it like that, Ava,” He insisted, stepping towards me and reaching out for my hand. “I wanna have kids with ya, I swear. I wanna have a family and all that stuff. Just not right now. We have lots to do before then and right now m'just really relieved we don't have to deal with those things yet. M'not ready to be a dad. Can still barely take care of you and myself.”

I pulled my hand away from his and he looked hurt until I moved to wrap my arms around him.

“You're right. I'm sorry, that wasn't a fair thing for me to say.” I admitted, standing on my toes to bury my face in his neck. “It's just been a stressful day, I'm tired and cranky.”

“If you've been feelin' how I felt that last half hour all day then I dunno how you didn't kill someone,” Niall teased, nuzzling into my hair. “Ya should've told me. Shouldn't have dealt with that all by yerself.”

“I didn't want to worry you over nothing. I was going to tell you as soon as I knew, if there was something to tell.” He squeezed me tighter, but didn't reply and we stood there in silence, reflecting on what we'd just been through. After a few minutes, I spoke up again. “So you do want to have kids with me one day?”

My voice was quiet, but I knew this was an important thing to discuss and wanted to clear it up before it weighed on my mind and became a problem.

“Absolutely,” Niall was quick to assure me. “I can't wait to be a dad. Want as many little ones as you'll give me. They'll be the cutest things the world as ever seen, 'specially if they take after their Ma.”

My heart soared as his confession and I pulled back just enough to place a kiss on his lips.

“Perfect, I want lots too,” I smiled. “And just for the record, you take great care of me. Probably better than I take care of myself. You'll be the best dad ever.”

A few days later I went to the doctor just to be absolutely sure and luckily they confirmed exactly what the at home tests had said. Apparently, birth control can sometimes cause you to completely skip a period and it was just my body’s way of adjusting to it. Which was something that Niall and I both agreed should also be mentioned in the information that they give you when you first start taking the pill.

*

“We're definitely going to wait until after the wedding though,” I said, smiling as Niall threw Theo over his shoulder and pretended to drop him, making Theo laugh so hard we could hear it from inside.

He would be an amazing dad once we decided to have kids and seeing him laughing and playing with Theo made a tiny little part of me wish that we didn't have to wait.

[mugsywrites]

Father G’s Church of Easter Eggs: Revised

K, so remember how I posted this awhile back? After the finale I’ve had more thoughts so I’m posting a revision of it. So!

Why Father G’s Church is meaningful: Season 5 shows the end of one chapter of TF’s story--the prison and the entire state of Georgia; and beginning a new one--traveling to DC, finding Alexandria, and rebuilding the world instead of finding temporary refuge.  The church is the main location of 5a; characters have their own side missions (Daryl and Carol, Abraham’s group, the group that rescues Beth) but the church is where they regroup. Even so it’s only ever seen as a liminal space,  simply a waiting room for their next move.

When they first reach the church Michonne, Glenn, Daryl, Carol, and Rick do a sweep of the inside. It’s a sequence that’s interesting for a couple of reasons. First, it lasts for more than a minute, which doesn’t seem like a lot but given how much they need to cram into an episode the fact that it takes this long stands out. Second it’s a scene that’s in sharp contrast to what comes immediately before and after. As soon as the five enter the church it is gloomy and dark, they are completely silent, and eerie, mournful music plays in the background.  Scenes before and after that take place outside, in bright sunshine, with a lot of dialog and no background music.

During that sweep all five are drawn to specific objects that seem to be foreshadowing future character arcs. And when I say they’re drawn to those objects I don’t mean a quick glance, I mean they study them for ten or fifteen seconds plus shots of their faces are shown reacting.

For what is the most obvious one, Carol is drawn to Father Gabriel’s handwritten bible particularly the large, all caps THOU SHALT NOT KILL from the 10 commandments in the book of Exodus.

Carol is a religious woman, and her grappling with this commandment drives her character arc for seasons 5-7. She goes from being *too* willing to kill people and use force when they first come to Alexandria to being *unable* to bear killing anyone, even despicable characters like the Saviors. She goes so far as to isolate herself from everyone she loves and everyone she has potential to love in order to avoid killing people.

Next obvious, Michonne is drawn to some children’s coloring pages of illustrating the book of Exodus:

(btw It’s interesting that the image of Moses in the bullrushes has “40 years of Wandering” written on it, since they are parts of Exodus that take place at wildly different times. It’s like they want you to think of wandering the desert specifically and this is the most recognizable ones of Moses)

Michonne’s arc over season five has a lot of parallels with the story of Moses in the book of Exodus leading his people out of the wilderness into a promised land. It’s not an exact mirror but close enough I don’t think it’s a coincidence. In Exodus,  Moses leads the Hebrews through the desert looking for a new home, on the way they get to a place where the water is undrinkable and another place with no food. In both instances they are saved via divine intervention (the “manna from heaven” bit) Once they reach the Promised Land Moses goes to get the 10 commandments and while his back is turned the Hebrews devolve into worshiping idols, mirroring their enemies the Egyptians. Moses then comes back with the ten commandments, sees all the idol worship, cracks one of the tablets, and reads them all for filth. In season 5 it’s Michonne who persuades Rick to stop wandering and go to Washington in hopes of finding a safe place for their people (reaffirmed in episode 7.12 when Rick flat out states she’s the one who led him there)  She does it again by convincing Rick to give Aaron a chance and go inside the ASZ.  “Them” features Team Family wandering in a place with no water or food. They find water left for them by Aaron, but they can’t drink it because they can’t trust its source. They’re eventually saved from dehydration by a thunderstorm. When Team Family reaches the ASZ while Michonne’s back is turned Rick goes crazy cakes, morphing into Governor-lite and planning on taking over the ASZ by force. When Michonne finds out she comes back and knocks him the fuck out.

Next is Glenn drawn to this Bible quote from Galations:

This quote speaks to and about Glenn for obvious reasons. He’s one of the most purely good characters on the show; the heart, voice of reason, and moral center. In the previous episode he told Rick “that’s still who we are” when releasing the prisoner at Terminus, in a future episode after Beth’s death he says he’s not sure if he would still do that. He adds his voice to Michonne’s when it comes to trusting Aaron and going to ASZ, he spares Nicholas’ life even after he has every reason to kill him, helps reach Enid and persuades her to come back with him. He continues to do good, even when it is not convenient and never grows tired of it. Even after death this influence is still impacting his loved ones. The final triumphant shot shows what has grown from Glenn’s example, all the communities standing together and ready to fight so they can build a new world, one where Maggie can raise their child in relative piece. This is driven home in Maggie’s speech, telling Rick that it *Glenn’s* decision she was following.

After that we get to the really non-obvious two. First off, we have Daryl looking at this carving of Jesus at the Last Supper:

Now, I’m admitted Desus trash so y’all know what I’d *like* for it to mean: Daryl will have an important arc with Jesus which includes falling in love and kissing and blah blah give it to me TPTB. But I’m held back by the voice from reality that tells me they’d *never* make a character like Daryl gay, and even if they considered it they’d chicken out at the last minute. Maybe it just signals that he’s responsible for them meeting Jesus (which he is, it wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t stopped to get Denise’s soda) and meeting Jesus is what accelerated their conflict with the Saviors since it’s what connected them with Hilltop and hiring themselves out as hitmen. Maybe it’s symbolic of something else, like it being “the last supper” for TF or foreshadows Daryl himself attempting to martyr himself.

Or it means nothing, because when we get to Rick we see him drawn to these empty cans:

And I’m not sure exactly what if anything it symbolizes. Food shortages in ASZ leading to their conflict with the Saviors? In my first post I thought his Easter Egg was the bible verses by the altar--they’re definite Easter Eggs because they all reference the resurrection of the dead, which I thought foreshadowed his “coming back to life” in Alexandria after convincing himself he was “the walking dead.” But while the bible verses frame him in the shot they’re not the focus of his attention and he isn’t shown reacting to them. It’s these cans. Anyone have any thoughts?

So maybe only Michonne, Carol, and Glenn are proper foreshadowing. Or maybe I’m reading way too much into it (very likely), and they’re drawn to these eggs because of their own histories. Michonne is just thinking of her own child she lost and her adopted children she could lose, Carol is feeling guilt for people she already killed, the quote just appeals to Glenn’s character, the empty food cans make Rick suspicious which eventually leads them to discovering Gabriel’s betrayal, and Daryl is staring at the carving of Jesus for...some reason, who knows? But it’s definitely an interesting scene, and TWD loves sprinkling in little Easter Eggs and winks at the audience. 

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Season 8 Opening Credits - Just Wow!

Okay Peeps! How is everyone's week. I must confess my head has been absolutely SPINNING with TWD stuff this week, and I've gotten little else done. Welcome to October, yeah?  

So I've been promising to do a post about the opening credits. Even though I've watched the episode 3x now, I really haven't paid attention to the opening credits. I knew I'd have to sit down and focus on them specifically, and because I couldn't do that before, I didn't bother.

I honestly didn't expect of find more than one or two things to talk about, and maybe analyze new character cards. Boy was I wrong! The opening credits are actually very intriguing and can tell us a lot about what to expect moving forward.

I'm just gonna move through the images in the opening sequence chronologically.

1. The Beth running flash is still there. If we're being totally honest, I would have read into it either way. If it was gone, I would have seen it as evidence of her imminent return. The fact that it's there simply tells me her escape arc is still in play. Still, worth mentioning. Once again, if she's dead and gone, why is this flash still in the opening credits. Cards, images and names for deceased characters generally disappear immediately after their demise, with a few notable exceptions.  

2. Rick's/Andy's card is still the same. He's still the sheriff with the red-handled machete. I think it's especially interesting because, though that's been his card since S5, I actually think it will change after this season. But more on that later.

3. Daryl's/Norman's card (vest through tire spokes) is also the same. @thegloriouscollectorlady pointed out something interesting to me. She said that we see Dwight wearing Daryls' vest through the spokes of a tire in 8x01, which is a direct link to this opening credits image. To me, it just shows that Daryl's arc has been planned for at least as long as this has been his opening credits card. So the arc from S5 on is still going.

4. Then we have Lauren Cohan's card which remains the same. Not much to say about hers.

5. Then Chandler Riggs' card, which is also the same. Two things I want to point out here, despite there being no change. 

A) His image comes from Morgan's residence in Clear, which may suggest that his and Morgan's arcs are intertwined. If you've read spoilers lately, you may be able to guess what I mean by that. 

B) Morgan's wall being used here is actually a good example of what I mentioned above. If Morgan died, but Carl remained, I think they would change Chandler's image here because Morgan was no longer in play. Yet, even when we didn't know it in S4, Morgan was still in play, so it's okay to use this image. Again, Beth's flash shouldn't be in the opening credits if she's not still in play.

6. Danai's/Michonne's symbol has actually changed. It used to be an architectural framework. Now it's a closeup of the symbol on her katana. Not sure what to make of that, but I think it signals a change for her. Her sword has often been a physical symbol of her mental state. She put the sword up above the fireplace in Alexandria as a symbol that she wanted to move away from using it. She took it down again when it became obvious their lives wouldn't remain entirely peaceful.

7. Melissa McBride/Carol's symbol of the knife handle remains the same. Again, I think it just shows that her arc is still going. Changes will occur in her arc, but it's not a whole new arc for her.

8. We do see the baby shoes in a very quick flash still, but there's no name attached. Especially because of the Beth as Protector of Children stuff, it's been suggested that this might be a place holder for where Emily's name will go when she returns. 

Just a theory, but I think it's a really good one. Why? Michael Cudlitz. 

I've always said he was a major Beth proxy. And even in terms of the opening credits we've seen it before. His name was only in the dark tunnel during 5b, and then it came out for S6, replaced by Sonequa's. I've always seen that as a resurrection thing. A name who was in the dark tunnel (marked for death) who will be resurrected. Obviously because of how he died, Abraham isn't coming back. But who was he a proxy for? Exactly. And where did MC's name go when it left the dark tunnel? (The above pic is from the opening credits of S6). To the baby shoes card. So it makes total sense that when Beth comes out of the dark tunnel (death), Emily's name will appear on the baby shoes card.

9. Lennie James's card for Morgan remains the same as well. I think this is interesting because it's an image of the forest, but it phases in and out of focus, much like Morgan's view of the world did in 6x04 when he was still dealing with PTSD. This is a representation of that. Morgan came out of his PTSD with Eastman, but since the end of S7 when he lost Benjamine, he's back to that same darkness, even if he's still functioning better than he was. They made a big deal about this on TTD as well. That Morgan, who didn't believe in taking life, is killing without hesitation now in 8x01. Doesn't bode well for Morgan.

10. Alanna Masterson's image HAS changed, and that’s interesting. 

Remember before that her tag had the boat. (Season 8 above, Season 7 below.)

That made sense as her arc in S7 was all about Oceanside. That, it seems, has changed. I don't think she'll be going back to Oceanside. They may come to her, of course, but I don't think her arc will revolve around them this season. 

I'm really starting to wonder if we'll lose Tara soon. I don't want that to happen, but I feel like especially this season, Tara is being used as a stand-in for Beth. There's this promo pic:

Think of Beth's line, "I'm not Michonne, I'm not Carol, I'm not Maggie, but I made it!" The three ladies are even in the right order here, so I feel like Tara is a stand in. Then there's Tara and Carol on the bridge together in 8x01. 

It really felt to me like a parallel to Beth and Carol at Grady. So again, Tara = stand in. And that implies that when Beth returns, Tara's arc will close. Now, I don't think her image card here necessarily implies that. All we can really say is that it doesn't suggest Oceanside anymore. The satellite station implies that her entire arc will be about attacking the saviors. But who knows where that could lead?

11. Josh McDermitt's is the same as last season: the bullet factory.

12. Christian Seratos/Rosita's has changed as well. Last season, she had broken windows. 

This season, guns:

Hard to say what the guns imply, other than just war/battle/warrior stuff. I think the broken windows make sense for last season. Poor Rosita did a lot of emotional breaking last season. First Abraham, then Spencer (I know she wasn't in love with him, but they had a relationship and seeing him gutted still had to mess her up) and then Sasha. So maybe that was very much her character breaking. Maybe the guns represent a strong, warrior Rosita this season, which I would be all for. Christian also did an interview recently (HERE) where she talked about Rosita being a warrior on her own and not getting into another relationship. Her character has always depended on men in some way (as she told Sasha in 7x16) and not she needs to stand alone for a while. (Which Denise foreshadowed, btw.) So the guns may symbolize Rosita’s autonomy.

13. Seth Gilliam/Father Gabriel's may be the most fascinating to me. Look at this image. The dark tunnel card (which Beth, Tyreese, Sasha, and Abraham were all in at some point) has disappeared entirely. I'll talk about that in a minute. But this is a tunnel of sorts. It looks like a sewer tunnel that lets out into the woods. You can even see water pouring out at the bottom. The thing about this tunnel is that it's not dark. And it’s the outside of the tunnel rather than the inside. Someone walking out of this tunnel would be walking out of the darkness and into the light. And then there's that water. (Oceanside perhaps?)

And I know that this card is for FG, not Beth, but I’m still seeing TD stuff here. As I said on Monday, I do think he's being a proxy for her in 8x01 (left behind by Rick, ends up with Negan; they even specifically show Rick making the decision to leave without him, and Daryl suggesting otherwise, but ultimately going along with it.) Then there is the strawberry stuff and all the other ways he's been paralleled with her. For the most part, FG parallels have been subtle, but they're there. So I'm seriously side-eyeing this image.

14. Ross Marquand – So Aaron is officially a mainstream series regular. There's never been a card for him before. Looks to me like one of the ruined houses outside of Alexandria's gates, with a ruined car in the foreground. Yeah, that could portend just about anything.

15. JDM/Negan's remains the same with the fire, bat, and iron.

16. So then we go into images that don't have character/actor names on them at the end. Most are ones we've seen before, including walkers pounding on a boarded up window, 

three lights, which I believe are from Woodbury, 

melted candles, 

the bloody ax, 

the doors from 1x01 

and this brick building. 

Also sunlight through the trees.

17. HERE’S THE BIG CHEESE! Are you guys ready for this one? Look at this crazy image. 

We have NEVER seen this in the opening credits before. If you look at the line and circle drawn on it, this is obviously the D.C. map Abraham drew for Rick in S5. See? 

Now, we have seen a map in the opening credits before. In previous seasons, it looked like this: 

which is interesting because it's an upside-down mirror image of the first. (Kind of like the clocks we’ve seen recently?) We always thought that meant something was backwards, a time-screw thing, etc. Now, the D.C. map is being burnt. Like, "we should burn it down?" The famous burner-downer (totally a word) of things is coming to D.C. this season? I actually think we can read a LOT of different things into this. I think it has to do with recent spoilers that came out, with season 4, and with both Rick and Beth's arcs. I'm not going to get into that right now, but this image is SUPER important!

18. The final images we see are crows in the tree, which have always been there, and then the TWD logo. 

I've had people ask about the fact that it's still decomposing. In the promos, it was white, remember? Which seemed like a resurrection symbol. All I can say is that I don't know. Maybe it won't turn white for the opening credits until after she returns. My hunch right now, again for reasons I won't go into in this post, is that maybe it will turn white after the MSF. I'll talk about this more in later posts, but for now, I'm not entirely sure. It doesn't threaten my faith in Beth's return, though. I mean, she didn't come back in ep 1, so there's no reason to show the white logo there. And it could be that the promo of the white logo was to show what to expect for the season, but they actually won't ever turn it white in the opening credits. It was just symbolic. Who knows?

19. Finally, let's talk about the dark tunnel card being gone and why that's important for TD. We said after Sasha's death that now all people (Beth, Tyreese, Sasha, and Abraham) who were in that tunnel are now dead. If they'd kept the dark tunnel card and merely put another character in, it wouldn't have been good for TD. That would have meant that they just use that card to show who the next major death will be. So if, for example, Danai's name suddenly appeared in that tunnel (really just throwing an arbitrary name out) it would mean that she'll be the next major death and Beth's name being in there was nothing special. Obviously not a good thing for Beths' return. 

But that's not what happened. The card is gone, which suggests what they used it for is over and we're moving onto the next thing. Also remember that, three out of four of those characters are obviously dead and not coming back. Three of them (Ty, Sasha, and Abe) had injuries it would be impossible to survive, and we saw deaths, burials and funerals for all three. Beth is the odd one out. The thing that doesn't fit. For her, they chose an injury that, while definitely traumatic, CAN be easily survived. We didn't see her a funeral or burial for her, and didn't even see another closeup of her face after death. 

Then there's the fact that not only did the dark tunnel card disappear, but they put in another one (Father Gabriel's) of the outside of happy woodland tunnel. With water flowing out of it. Then there's the Abraham/Baby shoes card. 

See what I mean? Everything about the changes in the opening credits is good for TD. I'm more certain than ever that Beth is not only on her way, she’s circling the neighborhood.

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Thank you! My responses are super long (especially for M asdflkasdfjkasdf) so most of them will be under a cut.

A – How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Since no fic was specified, I think I’ll just go back through some of the ones I’ve got up on FFN. Most of them are pretty self-explanatory, to be honest. ‘Eternity’ is so named because Myrtle is stuck at Hogwarts, in her teenage form and mindset, for, well, eternity. ‘And Then There Was One’ (a probably discontinued Hunger Games/Nancy Drew crossover) is also fairly obvious; it’s the Hunger Games so it’s inevitably going to come down to one person, and I also couldn’t resist shoehorning in a completely unnecessary reference to And Then There Were None since it’s also based off a mystery series. ‘Unstained’ refers to Wiress’ promise in the game to not ‘stain’ herself by committing murder in the games, and if I ever write its sequels they’ll follow the ‘Un’ formula – I’ve always intended the final fic in the prospective trilogy to be called ‘Unchained,’ but we’ll see if I ever get there.

I think the one that actually gave me the most trouble coming up with a title was ‘Goodbye,’ a Pirates of the Caribbean one-shot I wrote way back in 2009. I couldn’t seem to come up with a clever enough title for the fic, until I asked my mom for help and she suggested simply ‘Goodbye.’ I decided that in this case, less was more, and so the title stuck.

C – What character do you identify with most?

The ones that I’ve written for, I guess this means? I suppose I’ll have to go with Myrtle and Wiress. Although they definitely both have more tragic lives than I do, I still put a lot of myself into them – I outright headcanon Wiress as having Asperger’s Syndrome and being uninterested in romance, so I find her quite easy to write in that way, and a lot of her moralistic, somewhat self-righteous attitude at the beginning of Unstained (which she’ll eventually grow out of, fortunately) draws a lot from how I now see myself as having acted as a young teenager. Her somewhat morbid obsession with past Hunger Games and their victims has roots in my own (sometimes borderline depressing) fascination with shipwrecks such as the Titanic and Lusitania. 

Myrtle I headcanon with some sort of unspecified mental illness, or at least deep insecurities and oversensitivity, and having trouble making and keeping friends. Her friendship with Murcia draws on some of the tentative friendships I had with girls in older grades, and – though this didn’t come through in the story for various reasons that would take a whole other ask to explain, and which I’m not entirely satisfied with but anyway – I definitely see Myrtle as having had a complicated crush on her, but never fully recognizing or accepting it for what it was because she wasn’t raised in a time or a society where girls loving other girls was normalized. Which, again, big part of my teenage years. Plus, the social awkwardness, introversion, and anxiety that both girls have is something I definitely relate to in general.

F – Care to share a favourite hurt/comfort fic?

Oh boy, that’s a tall order as there are so many, but the two that jump to mind immediately are Intersection by yadon/Copernicus Jones/Jake-Marshall and Pity the Child by Tanglepelt/Bookworm555. Intersection holds a very special place in my heart as it was written by my friend Leanne, featuring one of her favorite Ace Attorney characters, Jake Marshall, interacting with my OC Denise Swallow. Pity the Child was written by my friend Becca and involves two more of my faves – America and Latvia from Hetalia – having heartwarming interactions. Both are very good fics.

M – Got any premises on the back burner that you’d like to share?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

Well

It’d be easier to list fics I’ve actually completed than fics that are in various stages of planning

But if you insist

(This is the super LONG part and gets a little emotional towards the end) 

The fic that I’d most like to complete within the foreseeable future is ‘Unstained,’ my story about Wiress’ Hunger Games. I’d say it’s about half-finished now, and I haven’t updated it in almost 4 years. That might change in the future; I’d like to get at least a few more chapters done this summer, but I don’t think it’s humanly possible to get it finished before I leave for Ontario, and then I’ll be so busy for a solid year that I doubt I’ll be able to write anything. And that’s not even counting the two prospective sequels I’d like to write. But even finishing this fic would be a major life accomplishment for me, as it’s one of those that I’m proudest of.

Then I have at least three fics about my Ace Attorney OC, Denise Swallow, which I’d like to write, though they’ll probably all be one-shots. Two of them are partially written, one isn’t even started yet. One of them would be a brief overview of the few times she met Dahlia Hawthorne, the infamous culprit who ended up murdering her brother. Another one, the longest and weightiest of the three, would involve her meeting Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey, who channels the spirit of her brother so that she can properly say good-bye. The last one would involve her meeting up with Dahlia’s sister, Iris, and coming to some sort of closure there.

A lot of my fic-writing is taking a backseat to a much more personal fic-universe-of-sorts that I’m working on, involving practically all of my favorite fandoms thrown together into an incredibly complicated storyline. It’s completely self-indulgent and not something I’d really want to share a lot about here, but one of the major plotlines I’m constructing in it would involve a villain-to-anti-hero redemption arc for Lucy Bauer from Agents of Shield. I’ll admit that I have toyed, very briefly, with the idea of converting this into proper FanFiction if and when I ever complete it, but that’s honestly very unlikely because 1) I’d have to remove it from its crossover context, 2) I’d have to insert it into either AoS season 5 canon, which hasn’t even been filmed yet, or an alternate version of season 5, and 3) it seems completely implausible within the story’s canon. Plus, there’s the inevitable ‘no one would read it’ problem. 

In the past couple months I’ve considered writing an And Then There Were None Hunger Games AU, as well as a brief oneshot about Soldier Island being haunted by the ghosts of the ATTWN victims, but I’m very unlikely to do anything with those. There’s still my Nancy Drew Hunger Games AU left unfinished, but if I get back to that, it’ll be entirely as a way to blow off steam, rather than to try and write anything especially good. Just today I was attacked by the idea of writing a Lord of the Rings fic about Aragorn returning Boromir’s arm braces to Faramir and telling him how his brother died, but again, just a passing fancy that I’m very unlikely to write.

And that’s just the tip of it. There are so many FanFiction ideas I’ve considered writing and abandoned. The 8 fics I have up on FFN are the few lucky ideas that actually came to fruition, even though a good deal of them are unfinished as well. I’m honestly amazed that I was even able to finish ‘Eternity,’ or get as far as I have on ‘Unstained.’ I have an X-Men Evolution fic up that was originally supposed to be a multichap of 10-15 chapters, and it hasn’t been updated since 2011. When I was in high school I planned out a whole series of Pirates of the Caribbean fics chronicling James Norrington’s life, from childhood until his death, but I only ever got the first chapter of one written and never posted it. (Partially because I sort of balked at the HUGE amount of research I’d planned to do on 18th-century naval life for that fic). I’d like to go back to this one idea I had for a Hetalia fic, a series of one-shots about times in which the characters have wished they were humans rather than nations, but again, research would be necessary and it’s so draining.

That’s the problem. I love thinking up ideas and planning stories and having them finished, but at the end of the day, the act of writing itself is such a chore for me. And I hate that. I wish I could write effortlessly, like I used to as a kid, but I haven’t been able to do so since I was 12 or so. Which, coincidentally, is the time my depression started to majorly set in. I don’t know if the two are connected, but I can’t help but wonder if mental illness robbed me of a pastime that I dearly loved, and of countless fics I could have written by now.

(I know this is long and cheesy and overemotional, but cut me some slack, it’s almost 1 am) 

O – How do you begin a story – with the plot, or the characters?

You know, this is strange, because when I first saw this question I thought, of course I start with the plot, who would just say “I want to write a story about [character]” without even having any idea of what the plot would be yet? And then I realized that that’s exactly what I do – start with a character I want to write about and come up with a plot based off that. In fact, most of my stories aren’t even plot-driven much as just general looks into the lives of certain characters.

Y – A character you want to protect

Hah, it seems like the characters I want to protect and the characters I end up putting through torture are exactly the same. The two that jump to mind right away are – my sun and my stars and everything, the one and only APH Latvia, and my precious ghostly daughter, Myrtle Warren (Moaning Myrtle). And yet I endlessly read fics in which the former, and wrote a fic in which the latter, suffers. Whoops.

[oohhshiny]

ok hi guys

for those asking for it, this is a post about 7x10

but please keep in mind these are my own opinions and feelings and I don't mean to influence anyone with them whatsoever

I do also have a theory which I'll be including at the bottom because reasons

click the cut if you feel like listening to me ramble

(and also beware of possible spoilers)

So.

Okay.

Where the fuck do I start.

I'm not gonna lie. I didn't love this episode as much as some. I liked it. But I would not call it my second Consumed. 

As amazing as their chemistry is and as muchhhhhh as I have fucking missed them, there are a couple of things I can’t ignore about the writing. If you did enjoy it all, that's awesome, and I am so happy that you did and it's definitely not my intention to make anyone feel badly or try to change how they feel either. It's just my own thoughts (to which, again, I am just extremely fucking frustrated with the stalling) but I was asked to post my opinion so here I am.

It's not that I didn't like what we did get but it's more of what still has yet to happen that is causing me to rip every fucking hair out of my head.

Right so I’ll discuss the episode first then post a theory… if you want to skip my episode opinions, you can go to the bottom for the theory. (Or just abort the whole post when you realize what you got yourself into by clicking this)

So, first of all let me just say that of course it's fucking amazing and adorable and everything else under the sun anyyyyy time Caryl share a scene. That's a given because it always is. They just light up the screen in any scene they are in together. And it will forever baffle me as to how tptb can possibly deny these characters and actors screen time when they are the freaking highlight of the entire series but I digress.

Things I did love about this episode:

> All the acting was incredible. I don't know how any of them aren't receiving nominations and all the awards. It's wrong. They deserve it like fuck.

> Daryl's speech to Richard, I fucking adored to pieces. Don't mess with Carol in any way, or Daryl will kill you, got it? And I lovedddd the build up with "Say her damn name!" That was fucking cute okay. It was my favourite part of the episode, in fact.

> Daryl lied to Carol for Carol. He lied because he absolutely loves her like hell and he cannot stand to see her suffer any more heartbreak than she already has had to deal with. He recognizes that she's in a fragile place right now, and as much pain as he's in himself (for all that he blames himself for over Glenn) he holds it in. To spare CAROL. He did it before with the child walkers in Consumed and now he's done it again in another attempt to make things easier for her if he can, any way he can. Because he knows she would/could blame herself too if she knew Negan had killed after she left and that she might start thinking that she could have done something to prevent those deaths. Even though we all know that's not true and that's not how this world works, (that it doesn't matter how much you try to prevent the bad, it happens anyway), the sheer fact that Daryl tried to make sure she didn't have to feel that torment at this moment, says it all and more. He fucking loves her more than anything on the planet and will do anything to protect her.

> The hugs and all the nuzzling…… yes. I've had requests for gifs so I'll gif some parts I found especially cute. I mean, all touching and hugs are good touching and hugs. When would I ever complain about touching and hugging? Um never so don't get me wrong I loved them on their own and for different reasons but here’s the thing the thing the thing, for me, when it comes to hugs to end all hugs, there is just no topping this……

Nothing will beat the Terminus hug in my eyes (unless it includes….OH LET'S SAY…. THE FREAKING KISS ITSELF) so I must admit, as cute as all the hugging was in 7x10, it didn’t top No Sanctuary. Not for me anyway. 

Right.

Moving on to things I did not like:

First and foremost, I guess I sound greedy with this but idec anymore:           IT. WAS. TOO. FUCKING. SHORT. We wait months upon months upon months upon months……….for approximately 4 minutes of screen time. Just……… :x (I’m sorry but it’s something I just can’t deal with for much longer)

Other than that, I have two main gripes with this episode:

1) The fact that Daryl leaves Carol at all. I assume it was because he thinks she's in a delicate place emotionally, so he doesn't want her to get involved in the fight with the Saviours and potentially get caught in a dangerous situation so he leaves knowing he'd have to tell her things if he stayed. If we read into it, I suppose we can come to this conclusion. However, I have two problems with that, and one is that we are always forced to assume and infer these things rather than hearing words or a conversation in the script about where he is going, when he'll be back, or Carol inquiring for that matter etc. because she would ask him ffs!  The second problem is the fact that while no, he doesn’t want to involve her in order to protect her, he also would not leave her side if there was anyyyy potential threat around her (which there is!) let alone the Saviours whom he knows are in the very area and whom he had just seen earlier in the day! It’s not Daryl, imo! Especially when they jussssssssst made it so evident that he loves the fuck out of her to threaten Richard if anything happened to her in the very same episode!  So, we're supposed to believe that he leaves her after trying to protect her, even making a speech about it just 6-8 hours before? No. Nope. No. Yes, she's strong enough to protect herself but that still wouldn't matter to Daryl. He protects her regardless. Now, I know the Saviours are after HIM but I still do not believe Daryl would leave her alone knowing that danger is around the corner (almost literally!)

So here is where this is a continued issue for me and the writing. Because I feel like this was an obvious tactic by tptb when they decided they needed Daryl elsewhere for the next installment of their story. It was like they need him to be at Hilltop now, so poof. Hilltop it is. Nothing else matters because of that one stipulation in their plot. Sorry for being so picky but it just gets seriously frustrating sometimes to watch the characters moved around according to a chess board instead of thinking of how that action will affect the character themselves and our beautiful relationship that kinda has to take the immediate backseat to those decisions. The writers seem to rely quite a bit on gimmickry now that it seems the first thing they are concerned with is how things appear to the audience rather than staying true to how the character would actually think or act. Just my opinion, but I can’t help it, it bothers me.

2) The second gripe I have; Yeah, I also can't help this but I'm upset that one more time we watched an opportunity float by where Daryl could have voiced his feelings but didn’t. Okay. Yes. I know why they are still holding that back. But after every fucking thing he just witnessed with Negan/Abe/Glenn and the shit he went through in Sanctuary (not to mention that the only reason he escaped was because of the inside help from Dwight/Sherry) and how other people have died before his eyes, like Denise who just gave him advice about telling the woman he loves that he loves her before it's too late,…. and he still doesn't take the advice? Come on. It's stretching the limits of realistic now. If he didn’t know if he or the woman he’s in love with would be alive the next day, he would be holding onto her as tightly as possible and telling her something about his feelings. I absolutely agree that Carol was not in the right state of mind as of 7x10 to have been making out with him on the couch (YET) but I still see no reason why Daryl couldn’t or wouldn’t have told her sommmmethingggggg in words about how he feels. And yes, I do know that his lie about Negan was a form of admission, and in fact, I felt there were a TON of words left unspoken to be conveyed through other actions (like the way he went back to hug her was basically his way of saying “I love you”) but ummm, imoooooooo, he also should have the fracking words by now too. Yeah, I know, I know, I know why it didn't happen here. But it's the carrot dangling that is getting ridiculous for me now and I find myself rolling my eyes every time they stall past another scene.

Le sigh.

Alright. There it is.

I loved the Caryl we did get but I’m still frustrated with the Caryl that is still being held over our heads. 

Despite my disappointment with those things, however, I want to remind people, for those feeling down about where Caryl are heading, 

please don't feel down about where Caryl are heading! 

Because even though they are still playing with the ambiguity for now, this episode is most definitely setting up for the future! Not only Daryl's feelings that are now coming out one (slow) piece at a time (as with Richard), but Carol's inevitable return to herself. And what that will mean for Caryl.

That brings me to

                                                                Theory time.

Good news: it's about the finale and you're gonna like it.

Bad news: it's the last fucking one I'm doing for this show if it turns out not to come true as of 7x16. (I'm sorry to say this but they have me until the screen fades to black the night of the finale because I'm too tired.)

SO. OKAY. This involves several easter eggs that were placed throughout season 7 (or before) and yes, it’s onlyyyy a theory (which very well could be wrong) but I'd say there is the slight possibility it could happen, based on things they purposely placed in the show for us to see.

In a nutshell, it goes like this: I think Caryl could finally kiss in the finale.

And here is why:

Easter Egg 1)  Who's The Boss 

It was in The Cell (not-so-coincidentally DARYL'S episode) and it’s shown on the TV Dwight is watching at Sanctuary. It was on the screen long enough to make note of and it makes you wonder why they left it there for as long as they did. For those that don't know, Who's The Boss is an American sitcom that aired in the 80s. It was actually pretty funny but more importantly it had a very prominent couple-to-be/turned couple who just happened to go canon in the finale of season 7/premiere of season 8. Yes, it absolutely could be a coincidence but hmmm maybe it’s not…

I would like to give all credit for this nugget to the lovely @ikkleosu, though, because while I had noticed the flash of Who's The Boss, I hadn’t thought to check out episodes until she noted exactly what went on in each ...

If anyone is interested, in the season finale, Angela (the lead female character) kisses Tony (the lead male character) to “show him how she feels”…..

link here (skip to the very end): 

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em3ZZp_jsl8 

And then in the premiere of season 8, Tony reciprocates and tells her he loves her and it marks the moment they become a full-fledged couple….

link here (very beginning of this vid): 

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SorDhv764LY

Tony and Angela have a few shades of Daryl and Carol to them as well, so yeah, like @ikkleosu said, it's just really interesting that we are in that sammmmmme freaking set up now on twd where two characters are in almost the exact same place, pre-canon at the exact same time and it just happened to be an Easter Egg placed in Daryl’s episode. 

Obviously could mean nothing but……….

Easter Egg 2)  Carl and Enid's forehead kiss turned kiss

Sound familiar?

They did that for our benefit, you guys. It was a fucking tease and I want to punch them for it but it was like they were hinting that a forehead kiss can (and will) be romantic, knowing full-well that we are awaiting the kiss for Caryl.

Easter Egg 3) “Denim Dreams” (a romance novel)

This was pretty obvious but I hope everyone caught the romance novel Carol was reading? Interesting how they focused on it in 7x10. Hummmm, "It's like a damn romance novel" anyone?

But wait, there’s more.

The lovely and brilliant @pixiegrunger pointed out to me that the cover of this romance novel actually sort of looks like it could be a man and a woman riding a horse..

Why is that important you ask? Well see, we heard reports of Carol and horses at ASZ in the finale and it happens to also be when a particular war mayyy begin to go down…

As @pixiegrunger says it could kind of be like Carol is the knight on a white horse coming to save the man she loves now?

She also noticed this….

on the wall/overturned train car/truck/whateveritis where Daryl just happened to threaten Richard over Carol, which could also have to do with the finale…….

Nope, there is no proof of anything yet, but it’s interesting right?

Easter Egg 4) Romance novels every freaking where.

See Carol kneeling on the ground here?

And do you see the stack of books to the left? The romance novel she was reading earlier (titled “Denim Dreams”) is in that pile. Well right below that one is another romance novel that was sitting on her coffee table during 7x08 by Randi Smith that appeared to have a couple kissing on the cover…

And I suspect there are more in that pile that are too blurry to make out as well. 

The point? There are romance novels out the wazoo in this episode (when DARYL shows up), which Carol is apparently reading. 

Just sayin’

Easter Egg 5) The canteen sharing from season 5

I swear this was fucking tease too and I swear it still has to do with kissing. And remember also that Carol was the one who first offers Daryl the water. Then Daryl to Carol. Angela > Tony. …?

Okay so putting it together, here's my potential theory:

I think post-7x10 Carol is going to come to the realization that she absolutely cannot lose Daryl. She loves him so fucking much and she has to protect him for that reason now. You could see that she almost went after him in the end of 7x10. HE was what she needed to allow her to see that her decision to isolate herself is not an escape at all, because she can't truly run away from the pain or the feelings she has. They are always there and I think she will decide now that she wants to hold on to the good. To Daryl. Knowing as she now does that she can't live apart from him anymore and pretend everything is fine. Because he is a very big reason she can go on. She loves him. She needs him. And she knows he loves and needs her. So I think she will decide to fight for him (and yes, Team Family when she finds out about Glenn and Abe), then she will ride in on her horse (just like the romance novel?) and she will "kill for love" in the finale.

But here's the part that I think could also come at the very end; they can't simply end the arc with no tangible indication of the choice she is finally making and why and that's where I think a kiss could happen, to let Daryl know how she feels about him (since she had left, and he was obviously quite hurt by it) and to set up the arc that is to come in season 8. (Just as Angela did in the finale of Who's The Boss) I don't think it would be any more than a single kiss at the very end because I don't think there would be time for much else but it would be enough.

Nope, nothing is conclusive and everything here is conjecture but at the same time, these items were placed in each episode for a reason so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what they do with them. 

You’re a fucking trooper if you got through all that. lol. And remember they are my opinions/thoughts only y/y

[gamexplained-blog]

The Current State of Affairs of Identity Politics in Gaming: A Canablization of the Industry

Hey everybody! Before starting this post, I want to give a very fair warning that this post is going to be reminiscent of a post a couple weeks ago. Yes, I will be talking about politics again. However, I’m hoping and praying that it will be in a more positive light. After taking a couple more classes, thanks to my Professor Denise Ayo, I feel comfortable in calling myself liberal. Granted, it’s not to an extreme extent where I’m busting down people’s doors and ascribing “privilege” to any individual who is different than me in a neo-liberal or “leftist” fashion. I do, however, feel far more comfortable and open to understanding and recognizing where privilege occurs beyond just the obvious category of wealth. I even recognize some of my own privileges in certain regards and will continue to understand more and more of these kinds injustices. However, one thing does remain certain in my mind: regardless of any type of privilege, whether it be ascribed or evidential, people should treat each other with love and kindness regardless. Now with that sappy explanation out of the way, let’s jump into this week’s reading.

For this week, the class was tasked with reading  Scalzi, “Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is” (2012) and I implore you to read it for the sake of context as I will be talking about it at length in this post and will be difficult to understand without that background knowledge. In this post, Scalzi sets up a metaphor of “The Real World” in which people who play have no agency over the difficulty they play at and it is ascribed to their identity. Granted, people on harder difficulty settings are able to be more successful than individuals on lower difficulty settings, but the settings themselves are defaulted and immutable. He sets up an interesting metaphor that is very easily digestible...in terms of physically reading. On personal matters, one’s mileage may vary. Personally, for me, this post was ludicrously taxing to read for multiple reasons which I hope can explain why it was so controversial and moreover had such a volatile response (and don’t worry, I’m going to relate this to gaming later down the road).

The first, and quite honestly biggest, point of contention is how it's written is incredibly condescending. If you start off your post/rant/blog or whatever with “I’ve been thinking of a way to explain to straight white men” then you have immediately done an injustice of alienating the people you are trying to make your allies. This type of language makes my soul cry every single time I see it when it comes to identity politics because it feels like yet another proof as to people being so at the ready to not only make them the other but to such a degree that is tonally dehumanizing. To use the above example, the phrasing feels deliberately malicious (as proven later with the later comparison to vampires) because it sets up straight white men as a collective that deserves to be talked down to like their inferior toddlers of some sort who deserve a spanking. He does have a very fair argument in the regard that there is a tendency for many straight white men to just be unaware or uneducated of concepts of privilege that need help in order to understand and can and will be better off if they are. In fact, there are plenty who desperately need said education because they have done wrong things in their life because they have deliberately refused to be empathetic to marginalized groups of people or have refused to recognize certain privileges. However, to immediately go the attack and drill that anger throughout the whole point does nothing more than push those individuals further from you and further put them into an “other” category

Secondly, the huge issue fundamentally with the post is the allegory used itself: it almost feels like a cheat. Before I begin, I want to say that I agree with a whole lot of what Scalzi says, though I don’t condone the condescending language and methodology he uses in the post. I am a believer that many people, because of their identity, are unfortunately worse off than other individuals. However, the huge problem with the analogy of the MMO RPG “The Real World” is that in order to accept the argument and recognize the validity that has, the reader has to outright accept the premises at face value without question. Scalzi might do a good job as characterizing the difference performance in the game and the execution of being in certain identities, but he never explains as to why those things are. No straight white man is going to understand why he has privilege if you don’t point to specific examples or pieces of evidence, especially when the assertions of the premises are being done in such a volatile way. He might be right about the premises, but for his argument to make sense, he has to explain why he is right. Otherwise, that audience he may want to rope in for allyship isn’t going to want to join him and is likely to push themselves even further. Which leads me to allyship in gaming.

A huge problem with the communication of identity politics in gaming is that it comes heavy-handed. From my own perspective, as I had mentioned previously before, I had never thought that gaming had anything to do with politics or identity. I just thought they were fun things to play and enjoy with friends. A larger community to be a part of. So a few weeks ago, if someone is was going to come up to me and say that much of gaming culture or video games are explicitly sexist or racist, I’d be incredibly confused and honestly pretty mad especially if they then go and ascribe my defense of said games to my own identity. And I would even more so feel worse if I saw a game or franchise that I hold in my heart dearly to be changed for a political narrative or agenda that seems completely irrelevant to the game. This is the terrible push and pull for much of the male gamer side of the coin. In all honesty, much of the time it feels as though male gamers are being accused of horrible things they didn’t do because a massive collection of teenage boys ruined the gaming industry by saying and doing horribly offensive things in online multiplayer games. Being accused of something you aren’t is one of them most frustrating things to deal with. And this goes both ways! I imagine there are plenty minority individuals who are just as easily painted with a similar brush by male games as a form of counterculture by labeling them as “neoliberal fascists” that want to censor perfectly fine games regardless of them being offensive or not. In all honesty, I used to be one of those people in high school who would make those kinds of accusations because I wasn’t educated enough on the experience of the other side or rather that my mind was too closed as to have the empathy to open up to those people and understand their plight. This is a big problem with these conversations: people are too afraid of admitting they’re wrong. Even I was still struggling with this until a couple weeks ago!

But on a lighter note, this is why I love gaming so much, Borderlands 2 in particular. Granted, the game does serve some of my own values or interests of liking violent gameplay and dark and offensive humor. At the root of the game, it potentially provides an equal opportunity for everyone to play. While I can’t speak for online multiplayer games, as there are plenty of problematic issues in that vein, nothing is stopping an individual from actually playing a game other than how much that person may internalize the agendas other people throw at them. Sure, a female could absolutely internalize the harassment of pubescent teen boys when they shout “haha gamer girl” at her, leading her to stop gaming altogether. Or, the more likely scenario, she plays the single player game she loves to play anyways for the sake of her own self-interest and happiness. I believe on of the biggest misconceptions for many gamers is that if the games they love change, they won’t love them anymore. Not for the sake of excluding any oppressed group or for deliberate malice, but because their afraid that the good memories and experiences they have since childhood on their consoles are going to be rendered mute. But that’s the beauty of video games: they really can be a force of uniform good. No game is going to kick you out because you’re female, colored, or queer. I sure wouldn’t play Borderlands 2 if it did that. You can play it regardless of your identity and ascribe your own personal value and meaning to it how you want it and that’s okay! Please everybody just be kind to one another! And just remember two important notes. Just because someone takes part of a game you find problematic, doesn’t mean they’re a bigot. And just because a person thinks that the game you play is problematic, doesn’t mean they’re calling you a bigot. Peace and love friends! Game with an open mind and an open heart!

[kroncreative-blog]

Top 10 Saviours of 2016

I’d like to start off 2017 by taking a brief trip down the 2016 section of memory lane. 

2016 was a mind trip of a year. From the stacks of shocking political moves, across the globe, to the sheer number of legends taken from us, this year has been a lot.  On a personal level, the trials and tribulations of the year were made a little easier because I started dabbling in a little self care. It wasn’t a conscious decision: it just kinda happened. Some of my fav artists dropped gems, lost a little weight, started sleeping a little more. These all helped pull me through. They were so helpful in fact that I am bringing some into 2017. So here is a list of my top 10 saviours of 2016. 1. Lemonade by Beyoncé Unless, it has not yet been made clear, I am a HUGE Beyoncé fan.  This album and accompanying film was easily one of the highlights of my life never mind year. The album itself is a stunning showcase of Beyoncé’s range and ability - not that we needed any more reminding. ‘Freedom’ and ‘Sorry’ are two of my personal favourites from the album. The visual element of this album is simply beautiful. The way Warsan Shire’s words and the imagery were weaved together was just out of this world.  One of my absolute favourite things about this Bey project though? Was seeing the joy and elevation it brought to the Black women in my life and those I follow online. It was genuinely a heart warming thing to see.  2. ANTI by Rihanna The release of Rihanna’s eighth album at the top of the year was an absolute delight.  One of the highlights of this album was actually the way the album was promoted. The launch of ANTIdiaRy in November and all of the rooms really helped build up hype which this album DEFINITELY followed up on. “Higher”,  “Love on the Brain” and “Kiss it Better” are my jams.  A particular shout out to the opening track “Consideration” with SZA. The way their vocals merge together is like honey.  This album really made me feel like Rihanna is an artist who even with eight studio albums behind her has not yet peaked.  3. Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin Embarrassingly, despite having a degree in English Lit, 2016 was the first time I had picked up this book by Baldwin. And flipping heck! Why this book is not taught as part of the school curriculum is a down right mystery to me.  The way Baldwin writes is simply astounding. In Giovanni’s Room he deals with the complexities of David’s relationship with Giovanni and others around him in such a palpable way. His articulation of David’s immersion in French culture, his love for Giovanni and in particular Giovanni’s love for David are highly emotive. I felt as if I was going through these experiences with David. Such is the capability of Baldwin.  “I thought of the people before me who had looked down at the river and gone to sleep beneath it. I wondered about them. I wondered how they had done it--it, the physical act. I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.”  4. 6,741, S05E04, Person of Interest I could, and perhaps at some point will write an entire in depth blog post on this exhilarating episode, but it was too important to miss out of this list. This was one of the most highly anticipated episodes of this season as it marked the return of Sameen Shaw (played by Sarah Shahi). 

6741 is a mind bender and mirrors the episode If-Then-Else which marked Shahi’s temporary departure from the show.  The way this episode was directed by Chris Fisher and written by Lucas O’Connor and Denise Thé and the concept of it is just phenomenal. Also shout out to Shahi’s fantastic acting skills which heightened the impact of this highly emotive hour of tv. One of the most beautiful aspects of it was the exploration of the depth of Shaw’s feelings for Root. The use of simulation to expose the audience to this was not only creative AF but inline with Shaw’s type II personality disorder.  “Do you know where we are? What they did to me? The torture? I told you I couldn’t escape it. But when things got to be too bad there was one place I would go to in my mind. Here. With you. You were my safe place.” 5. Grayish Black by Devyn Springer I received this poetry collection as a present from a good friend. And my days! What a present it turned out to be.  Everything about this poetry collection is stunning. The cover is black which is intentional. “Your fingerprints are all over this book now. It is all you can see across all the cover.” There is something about this notion that personalises the collection straight away and immediately makes it feel more intimate.  Something which builds upon this intimacy, is the photographs. When I first flicked through, the photographs took me surprise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen photographs in a poetry collection before. There’s also photocopies of some of Springer’s poetry/stream of consciousness/drawings which again add to the intimacy of this collection. The actual poetry though? I found it to be very raw and extremely evocative. There were a few instances where I had to close the book and set it down and come back to it later because the feelings brought to the surface were just too much (in a good way). But such is the power of Springer’s writing. Just so damn beautiful and breathtakingly honest. Again this is probably another piece where I will have to do an in depth blog post just to encourage people to go out and buy this piece and read it. 

“It seems all of the things I hate about myself have latched their claws into my skin, planted seeds in my bone marrow,  built hones in between my ribs, and decided to stay for a while.” 6. Dreamland by Mic Righteous This is one of my many musical highlights of 2016. Not only because I have been waiting for this album for the longest time but because it was entirely worth the wait. Straight out of Margate, Mic Righteous has an undeniable talent. His flow is effortless and his wordplay is genius. And his storytelling ability is insane. Every track on this album tells a story, just a tiny segment of different aspects of his journey. Highlighting his difficult childhood in Margate to his outsider status in the UK Scene.

This album also has a strong set of accompanying videos. Not every track has a video but some of my personal favourites are the passion filled ‘Gone’, party vid, ‘I Turn Up’ and the highly personal ‘Kids’. Stand out tracks are ‘All Dressed Up’ and anthem ‘Tempo of the Dance’. This is an album that you’ll just have to check it out for yourself. 

“My family don't get why I'm dead broke I'm deffo on my arse I guess that's the tempo of the dance I'm certain of my future like a psychic read a palm Maybe it's the patience that's ringin' red alarms I don't wanna see a sceptic have the last laugh Nearly spent seven years to perfect my every part Thinkin' of my examples and I don't get very far Because not many of them last or achieve What they set out from the start Selling out, dwellin' on what could be I live to prove people wrong because they overlook me I live to see my son smile, father livin' cushty” 

7. The Friendzone Podcast Hosted by Dustin, Assanté and Fran, this is one of my favourite podcasts and it’s one that just keeps getting better and better.  As is no secret to anyone, 2016 was hard. But this endearing yet hilarious podcast was something that helped keep me grounded and not get too consumed by the nonsense of this year.  This podcast is primarily concerned with “mental health, mental wellness and mental hygiene because who in the hell wants a musty brain?” Every weekend brings a wellness segment brought to you by Fran of Hey Fran Hey fame which aims to help you increase your wellness. One of the coolest things about this wellness segment is that everything that is recommended is trusted and used personally by Fran. Not only that the segment is well informed providing scientific research where necessary. Some of the things I have incorporated from the show are Palo Santo, weighted blankets, journal work and the Forest Productivity app.  Assanté is the musical maestro bringing us musical recommendations and has put me onto some flames music including Isaiah Rashad and Xavier Omär. His vulnerability adds an extra layer of familiarity to the show. 

Dustin. Sir Dustin is a law unto himself and keeps the show real and hilarious. His speciality segment is reality tv. Every week he gives the lowdown on shows such as Married to Medicine Atlanta and the Real Housewives franchise. His knowledge is encyclopaedic. Also the intro freestyle every week has a special place in my heart. Its literally lit every week and I haven’t heard a dud one yet.  8. Coloring Book by Chance The Rapper Listen. I was BEYOND hype about ‘Chance 3′ since I first heard ‘Ultralight Beam’. Which was also a freaking bop! It was so much of a bop in fact that I am yet to listen to the rest of TLOP. And my favourite part about it was Chance’s verse. Anyway, back to Coloring Book.

Coloring Book is beyond amazing. I am in love with the mixtape, the cover, Chance’s voice, the beats, the production, EVERYTHING. Chance even had me singing along with Bieber in ‘Juke Jam’.

Even though I’m not a Christian I really love the Gospel influence and features on the mixtape. Although the presence of Gospel in Hip-Hop/Rap is not new, I feel like Chance really elevated it. And his level of faith is inspiring.  Every single track is astounding. And to be honest, I know that I’m going to be listening to this for a very long time. I also know that there are not enough words for me to do this mixtape justice.  9. The Good Immigrant edited by Nikesh Shukla With Brexit and the election of Donald Trump largely played to the tune of ‘fear the foreigner’ 2016 has taken a toll on this particular second generation immigrant.  Just when the rhetoric of British Values began to feel like almost like a vaguely defined threat, this little gem came along. This collection of 21 essays hit me right in the heart. These essays represent and validate the breadth of the experience of immigrants in this here United Kingdom. The blurb boldly asks “What’s it like to live in a country that doesn’t trust you and doesn’t want you unless you won an Olympic gold medal or a national baking competition?” Although it is worth noting that even these people have been exempt from racism.  Anyway, pretty much every essay in this book was relatable and made me feel some form of validation and acceptance. One essay which resonated with me deeply in particular is ‘Going Home’ by Kieran Yates. Yates details her perspective of the British Asian experience and learning how to navigate society, family and personal spaces and all the spaces within these spaces. The difficulties which sometimes arise like the ability to make a round roti. Yates highlights how she doesn’t feel a split between her Indian culture and British culture when she can take the best bits of both. “But for me, there is no neat duality; no neatly sliced elements of my identity that are in opposition. There is no hollow insecurity about rootlessness because these additional details and stories I’ve learned are additions to our identity, not losses.” This is something that took mea long time to realise and I’m still learning to be entirely honest.

10. The Get Down, Netflix Oh My Goodness. 

This series yeah? This series is already one of my fav tv shows ever.  Anyone, who knows me, knows I love Hip-Hop. This musical series loosely explores the origins of this spectacular and beautiful art form including, DJing, Graffiti, B-Boying and of course rap. It stars Justice Smith, Shameik Moore and Jaden Smith. The show was created by Baz Luhrmann and Stephen Adly Guirgis. I can’t lie, as soon as I heard Luhrmann’s name I was sceptical. I mean I love Moulin Rouge and his adaptation of Romeo and Juliet but I wasn’t sure how this would translate to 70s South Bronx. I was wrong, this series is visually gorgeous.  The raps in this series are largely written by Nas. Not only does this make the series feel more genuine but it made me fall in love with Nas’s own discography again. It also reminded me of the poetic nature and roots of Hip-Hop. There is a scene of Zeke’s teacher reciting one of his pieces to him in the opening episode and it is just breath taking. One of my favourite things about this series though, even though it deals with some really heavy social issues, it is infectiously hopeful. It can’t help but inspiring hope and looking forward. I feel like, in the coming months, this is something we will all need more of.