#i read so many good books this year it was unreal

[soracities]

what are your suggestions for starter poetry for people who dont have strong reading/analysis backgrounds

I've answered this a few times so I'm going to compile and expand them all into one post here.

I think if you haven't read much poetry before or aren't sure of your own tastes yet, then poetry anthologies are a great place to start: many of them will have a unifying theme so you can hone in based on a subject that interests you, or pick your way through something more general. I haven't read all of the ones below, but I have read most of them; the rest I came across in my own readings and added to my list either because I like the concept or am familiar with the editor(s) / their work:

Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times (ed. Nick Astley) & Being Alive: The Sequel to Staying Alive (there's two more books in this series, but I'm recommending these two just because it's where I started)

The Rattlebag (ed. Seamus Heaney and Ted Hughes)

The Ecco Anthology of International Poetry (ed. Ilya Kaminsky & Susan Harris)

The Essential Haiku, Versions of Basho, Buson and Issa (ed. Robert Hass)

A Book of Luminous Things (ed. Czesław Miłosz )

Now and Then: The Poet's Choice Columns by Robert Hass (this may be a good place to start if you're also looking for commentary on the poems themselves)

Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World(ed. Pádraig Ó'Tuama)

African American Poetry: 250 Years of Struggle and Song (ed. Kevin Young)

The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing (ed. Kevin Young)

Lifelines: Letters from Famous People about their Favourite Poems

The following lists are authors I love in one regard or another and is a small mix of different styles / time periods which I think are still fairly accessible regardless of what your reading background is! It's be no means exhaustice but hopefully it gives you even just a small glimpse of the range that's available so you can branch off and explore for yourself if any particular work speaks to you.

But in any case, for individual collections, I would try:

anything by Sara Teasdale

Devotions / Wild Geese / Felicity by Mary Oliver

Selected Poems and Prose by Christina Rossetti

Collected Poems by Langston Hughes

Where the Sidewalk Endsby Shel Silverstein

Morning Haiku by Sonia Sanchez

Revolutionary Letters, Diane di Prima

Concerning the Book That Is the Body of the Beloved by Gregory Orr

Rose: Poems by Li-Young Lee

A Red Cherry on a White-Tiled Floor / Barefoot Souls by Maram al-Masri

Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

Tell Me: Poems / What is This Thing Called Love? by Kim Addonizio

The Trouble with Poetry by Billy Collins (Billy Collins is THE go-to for accessible / beginner poetry in my view so I think any of his collections would probably do)

Crush by Richard Siken

Rapture / The World's Wife by Carol Ann Duffy

The War Works Hard by Dunya Mikhail

Selected Poems by Walt Whitman

View with a Grain of Sand by Wislawa Szymborska

Collected Poems by Vasko Popa

Under Milkwood by Dylan Thomas (this is a play, but Thomas is a poet and the language & structure is definitely poetic to me)

Bright Dead Things: Poems by Ada Limón

Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth by Warsan Shire,

Nostalgia, My Enemy: Selected Poems by Saadi Youssef

As for individual poems:

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver

[Dear The Vatican] erasure poem by Pádraig Ó'Tuama // "The Pedagogy of Conflict"

"Good Bones" by Maggie Smith

"The Author Writes the First Draft of His Weddings Vows (An erasure of Virginia Woolf's suicide letter to her husband, Leonard)" by Hanif Abdurraqib

"I Can Tell You a Story" by Chuck Carlise

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"One Last Poem for Richard" by Sandra Cisneros

"We Lived Happily During the War" by Ilya Kaminsky

“I’m Explaining a Few Things”by Pablo Neruda

"Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" //"Nothing Gold Can Stay"//"Out, Out--" by Robert Frost

"Tablets: I // II // III"by Dunya Mikhail

"What Were They Like?" by Denise Levertov

"Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden,

"The Patience of Ordinary Things" by Pat Schneider

“I, too” // "The Negro Speaks of Rivers” // "Harlem” // “Theme for English B” by Langston Hughes

“The Mower” // "The Trees" // "High Windows" by Philip Larkin

“The Leash” // “Love Poem with Apologies for My Appearance” // "Downhearted" by Ada Limón

“The Flea” by John Donne

"The Last Rose of Summer" by Thomas Moore

"Beauty" // "Please don't" // "How it Adds Up" by Tony Hoagland

“My Friend Yeshi” by Alice Walker

"De Humanis Corporis Fabrica"byJohn Burnside

“What Do Women Want?” // “For Desire” // "Stolen Moments" // "The Numbers" by Kim Addonizio

“Hummingbird” // "For Tess" by Raymond Carver

"The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin

“Bleecker Street, Summer” by Derek Walcott

“Dirge Without Music” // "What Lips My Lips Have Kissed" by Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Digging” // “Mid-Term Break” // “The Rain Stick” // "Blackberry Picking" // "Twice Shy" by Seamus Heaney

“Dulce Et Decorum Est”by Wilfred Owen

“Notes from a Nonexistent Himalayan Expedition”by Wislawa Szymborska

"Hour" //"Medusa" byCarol Ann Duffy

“The More Loving One” // “Musée des Beaux Arts” by W.H. Auden

“Small Kindnesses” // "Feeding the Worms" by Danusha Laméris

"Down by the Salley Gardens” // “The Stolen Child” by W.B. Yeats

"The Thing Is" by Ellen Bass

"The Last Love Letter from an Entymologist" by Jared Singer

"[i like my body when it is with your]" by e.e. cummings

"Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewski

"The Cinnamon Peeler" by Michael Ondaatje

"Last Night I Dreamed I Made Myself" by Paige Lewis

"A Dream Within a Dream" // "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe (highly recommend reading the last one out loud or listening to it recited)

"Ars Poetica?" // "Encounter" // "A Song on the End of the World"by Czeslaw Milosz

"Wandering Around an Albequerque Airport Terminal” // "Two Countries” // "Kindness” by Naoimi Shihab Nye

"Slow Dance” by Matthew Dickman

"The Archipelago of Kisses" // "The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel

"Mimesis" by Fady Joudah

"The Great Fires" // "The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart" // "Failing and Flying" by Jack Gilbert

"The Mermaid" // "Virtuosi" by Lisel Mueller

"Macrophobia (Fear of Waiting)" by Jamaal May

"Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong" by Ocean Vuong

"Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou

I would also recommend spending some times with essays, interviews, or other non-fiction, creative or otherwise (especially by other poets) if you want to broaden and improve how you read poetry; they can help give you a wider idea of the landscape behind and beyond the actual poems themselves, or even just let you acquaint yourself with how particular writers see and describe things in the world around them. The following are some of my favourites:

Upstream: Essays by Mary Oliver

"Theory and Play of the Duende" by Federico García Lorca

"The White Bird" and "Some Notes on Song" by John Berger

In That Great River: A Notebook by Anna Kamienska

A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay

"Of Strangeness That Wakes Us" and "Still Dancing: An Interview with Ilya Kaminsky" by Ilya Kaminsky

"The Sentence is a Lonely Place" by Garielle Lutz

Still Life with Oysters and Lemon by Mark Doty

Paris, When It's Naked by Etel Adnan

[ficsonpost-its]

general lara croft headcanons

summary: general headcanons about lara croft. does include some x reader but are mostly just gen cw: none based off the survivor trilogy/timeline!

‣ She's so humble! Despite being from a rather aristocratic background, she carries herself in such a way that gives off the impression it's something she doesn't identify much with. When meeting new people Lara prefers to just be herself, remain polite and respectful, and let first impressions do all the work.

‣ She's read practically every book in the manor's library and then some. You can't walk into a single room without finding a book pile or several scattered around.

‣ And somehow she knows exactly where a specific one is??? It's unreal, it's impressive. Ask for something you'll think is pretty niche and she's gone for a few minutes only to return back with something about that specific topic. How does she do it?

‣ She's nowhere near 3 Michelin stars regarding the quality of her cooking but she's pretty decent. She can make something that both looks and tastes nice. Sure she might not get a Paul Hollywood handshake but, relating to her humble traits, prefers to learn things herself and not rely on others to help. This specific trait translates into nearly everything she does.

‣ Adding onto this, she's incredibly independent and resilient. You have to be when in Lara's line of work. She grew up pretty independent as a child and as a result can take care of herself well enough until she's fixated on some myth or mystery but the resilience? That came with time and experience out in the field.

‣ Speaking of her fixations... they can sometimes be detrimental to her own health. Lara has a bad habit of forgetting to eat, sleep, or perform any basic bodily functions when she's in a certain mindset and she thinks she's close to a big discovery. Please hound her to at least go to the bathroom and pester her with eating the sandwich that's been sitting on the table for the past 2 hours.

‣ I think she'd be a pretty great gift giver! She's an empathetic person who pays attention to things her friends say or notice. She's likely tried her hands at homemade things or "found" something in a tomb she thinks you'd like.

‣ If you're a person with even the slightest similarity of interest to her, prepare to be a rubber duck. You can just be relaxing in the morning having breakfast and Lara will burst into the room waffling on about yet another archaeological topic she's lost more sleep over just for a second opinion. Be prepared for her to suddenly scurry away back into her study if you've said something that gave her a metaphorical lightbulb.

‣ Also be prepared for a book to just be dropped in your lap as she's talking, sometimes she gets a little carried away when she gets excited.

‣ She's so intelligent to the point it's giving savant syndrome. The way she remembers so many details about so many topics is quite frankly amazing. She's so well read, so well educated, how does her brain have room for it all? Is her brain a black hole full of knowledge? Who knows. Admire this about her please.

‣ She hates black coffee. The drink overall feels so thin because of the high water content and you have to wait a thousand years for it to cool down enough to even drink. But at the same time she doesn't like overly sweet things like a caramel frappe for example. Lara likes a healthy medium, she's a bit fussy like that.

‣ Despite hating black coffee, she'll only drink it if it's the only available thing and she'll hate every second of it.

good lord i did not expect this post to take me 20 minutes tops i was on a roll

[fan-goddess]

Yes sir…

Thank you @succnfuccubus for inspiring me to write this and convincing me to actually do this

Summary: After another rejection, Billy’s feeling a little down in the dumps. But after meeting with your friend that morning and looking at a unique source material, you get a very unique idea on how to hopefully cheer him up.

Authors Note: Gave the friend a name as it was just easier. I loved the idea, but I don’t like this for some reason

Taglist: @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @omgbrcat @blue-serendipity @arcielee @targaryenbarbie @anjelicawrites d

Warnings: Smut books, p in v sex, m oral, praise kink, power imbalance role play, role play, angst, comforting, sad boy Billy Washington, the economy, begging, cuddling (if I miss any let me know)

Billy had never been a particularly avid reader. The most he’d ever voluntarily read probably being the required reading for secondary school English. You on the other hand, even before you’d stumbled across the smut section on the internet, had always been a common bookworm.

When your friend Lya first began to lend you books from her so called private collection though, now that’s when you became a woman possessed. Soon, most of what you were reading involved some sort of dark romance filtered in. Whether that was mafia, pirate, or just a simple brother’s best friend romance. You read it all with an expressionless face.

Yet when you’d begun to date Billy, you must confess to the amusement of Lya, who you’d been borrowing books from for all these years, that you hadn’t been borrowing and reading as many of those sort of books as you used too. Since now, you had a real life romance novel in front of your very eyes to carry out. It wasn’t exactly the dream romance kids pictured after watching a Disney movie, but what sort of relationships were these days?

The last few days, you and Billy had been unable to have sex due to a sudden difference in work times. Well, your work times and Billy’s interviews. Still, whilst you were used to this happening at some random times, your pussy had taken a sudden hit with the recent dry streak. Now, you were beginning to crave one of those novels of yours in your hands again. Desperate for a new sort of fiction that’d get brain stimulated and your cunt working.

So you called the best smut dealer you knew.

“Hey bestie!” You grinned, picking at your nail while your other hand was busy holding the phone. “I need a favour…” She’d laughed when you’d asked her for a new recommendation, yet to your relief, you and her had managed to agree to a meet up the next day to, exchange the goods.

The morning you were supposed to leave, you remember kissing Billy goodbye as your adorable half asleep boyfriend was still laying in bed all cosy and pretty. “Where are you going?” He’d grumbled, so cute with a small tired pout on his face that it almost made you want to strip back down to nothing and pounce on him there and then. The lack of sex it seemed was really getting to you right now.

“Visiting one of my friends for a morning drink. Nothing much baby. Remember though you’ve got that interview at 3, so don’t forget!” You smiled, giving him another deep kiss before you go that left Billy’s cheeks flushed from bashfulness. He’s so effortlessly fucking sexy it was utterly unreal…

When you got to the cafe you’d planned to meet Lya at, she eagerly waved at you from a discreet corner of the room. She may be honest as hell about what she reads, but she sure as hell knows how to act like a fucking dealer about it.

“Hello darling!” You smile, moving so you could give her a quick hug before sitting opposite her. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been alright thanks babes! Stocking up on my little novel collection, which reminds me!” She gives you a mischievous smile, and from her bag produced a book with quite a different cover than what you thought it’d be. As she places in front of you what looks to be a copy of great expectations.

“Think you’ve mixed up the books Lya!” You laugh, giggling in amusement when you see her look at you with such disappointment.

“Course I haven’t idiot!” She sighs, moving to grab the book and remove the book cover, before showing you the back of it. Where much to your surprise, you find the blurb for a very different book. Called ‘Unbuttoning the CEO’. “I read it last week and thought it’d be perfect for you!”

You laugh at the title and place the secret cover back on, before placing it in your bag. You don’t bring the book up again the rest of the catch up convo, but at the end when the two of you have eaten your cakes, drunk your coffees and were saying your goodbyes, you made sure to let Lya know what you thought of the book when you read it.

When you get back home, you head to the bedroom first to see if Billy’s back or not. The bed you can see is unmade and ruffled, yet when you feel it you can tell it’s cold to the touch, telling you Billy left a while a go. You head to the living room and sit on the sofa with a small sigh, praying Billy didn’t decide to head to the pub before a job interview.

You’re still for a couple minutes trying to think of what to do to occupy your time while you wait for Billy, and your eyes can’t help but be drawn to your bag, where the book practically taunts you from inside it. Before you even know it, you’re curled up on the sofa with the book in your hand and your lip between your teeth.

Words blur as you read sentence after sentence, but your eyes certainly eagerly tune in when you get to the actual sex part, which wasn’t even very far in to be honest.

The ceo takes the assistant on his desk, and you can’t help but clench your legs together when you read about how later on the assistant helps the CEO to ‘destress’. You take a small break to make yourself a quick drink, and can’t help but find your mind drifting to the idea of you and Billy in those scenes, playing those characters. You can’t help but forget about even making any sort of drink as you imagine exactly how you could help Billy destress from the recent unfair influx of job rejections.

You eagerly get back to reading though, and by the time Billy comes back home around 5, stinking slightly of cheap lager, you’ve already finished the book twice and reread your favourite scenes about three times over.

“Hey baby!” You smile, making note on how Billy nuzzles his body into yours as much as he can as soon as he gets close enough. Your pretty little teddy bear… “How’d it go?”

“Said I weren’t what they were looking for…” He murmurs into the length of your neck, as you kiss the top of his head softly. “Another fucking failure to add to the list…”

“Don’t say that!” You firmly say, placing both your hands on the side of his face to force his eyes to meet yours. You hate the way he looks so broken in that moment. So beaten by the world that all you want to do in that moment is wrap your arms around him and keep him safe from everything and everyone. The assholes who hurt him hurt him good and deep, and if you could, you’d beat them to death yourself. Maybe even with your porn book that’d be a right sight you must admit… “You are fucking amazing! You’re my favourite person in the whole world and I will not have you bring yourself down! Do you understand me Billy Washington?”

He gulps, and for a second you swear you can see tears build up in his eyes before they’re quickly blinked away.

“I-I underhand darling. Thank you, for being there for me. For everything.” He says, before bringing you in for a hug. Practically crushing you with how hard his arms lock around your waist and his head stays tucked in the skin of your neck.

The two of you stay there for what feels like hours. Holding each other while the time goes by. The only reason the two of you even break away from each other is because your phone rings so loudly all of a sudden and shocks the two of you into remembering the situation at hand. You quickly move to switch your phone on silent, and yet your eyes somehow manage to drift to the book peeking out from behind a sofa cushion, and an idea makes it way through your mind.

“Hey Billy…” You begin, smirking when you see Billy’s usual shy persona breaking through his shell once more when he sees that smile of yours. “I wanna try something tonight…”

“What is it?” He asks, raising a brow and stepping back slightly when he sees the grin on your face.

“Just something I read recently. Wanna see how you’ll like it…” You purr, placing your hands on his shoulders and dragging him to the edge of the sofa, before pushing him slightly so he falls backwards with a small gasp. His eyes open wide as they stare at you with such awe and admiration that you can’t help but find yourself blushing slightly.

You slowly lower yourself between Billy’s legs, which seem to open as wide as they can automatically, and with innocent fluttering eyes, lay your head on the side on his leg.

“Can I please suck your cock sir?” You beg, a pout on your lips to mimic pure desperation as Billy practically seems to have a heart attack above you. He appears breathless as you spring this sudden fantasy upon him, and yet by the way you can see and feel his trousers move and strain with his quickly swelling cock, you can tell with certainty that he definitely seems to be enjoying this.

“Yes…” He eventually murmurs with a heavy breath. “You can suck my cock….”

“Thank you sir, I promise I won’t let you down!” You smile, moving your hands to undo his belt and shimmy down his trousers and his underwear. When Billy is left sitting naked before you, as he’d claimed to feel silly if he was sitting in just his shirt, you can’t even stop yourself from admiring your boyfriends erect cock that stands proudly before your face.

“Such a pretty cock sir…” You murmur, before opening your mouth and taking it in your mouth as far as you can before your nose hits the small soft patch of hair lying at the base of Billy’s cock.

You can hear him keen and whine above you, and you’re very sad you can’t see the way his eyes no doubt roll to the back of his head. You slowly move your head back and forth, keeping a steady pace that leaves Billy practically shaking and whining above you.

“Please….” You hear him beg. A noise you love more than anything, and yet at this moment it’s not what you want. You want him to feel in control for once. To know how much you worship him and adore him. To know that he has the ability to make you become so needy and desperate for him that you’ll do anything to please him. That is, with the right words of course.

“Please darling!” He continues, his whimpering so delightful to your ears that you almost throw your plan out the window so you could give him as many earth shattering orgasms as he deserves. But patience is a virtue, so you continue to suck at Billy’s cock in a leisurely pace. Drawing all sorts of noises from him that leaves your own lower half aching for a release.

“Take control of me Billy…” You eventually say, admittedly growing tired of the lack of communication between the both of you. “Take hold of me and do whatever you want to me sir…”

It seems your words finally made it into his pretty little head. Since as soon as you try and go back to putting your mouth on him after saying those words to him, you feel a strong hand wrap itself between the strands of your hair, atopping you from getting anymore closer to his cock than what you already are. It makes your pussy admittedly wetter as you’re now effectively eye level with Billy’s weeping member, and yet am unable to touch it at all. Forced to stare at it while it weeps a single drop his precum and watch while it trails down his erection. It’s absolute fucking torture.

“Please sir!” You find yourself begging, an actual pout on your lips as desperation claws up your whole body. “I wanna make you feel good sir! Wanna warm your cock in my mouth and feel your cum trickling down my throat!”

You can feel the grip his hands have on your hair tighten, and before you know it, Billy’s cock is hitting the back of your throat and your eyes are rolling to the back of your head as your used like a pathetic fuck toy. You let your body go limp as you allow Billy to use you however he decides, yet he doesn’t seem to exactly have that part figured out yet, as he focuses on moaning and groaning about you like a porn star while he uses you to his current hearts content.

For a while, you almost find yourself unable to breathe. Gasping for air whenever the opportunity appeared. Yet still, you persist in your willingness, eager to see the usually so submissive man in front of you break.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He groans, moaning as he further tightens his grip on you and forces you to work harder and faster on his cock. You moan wantonly and work your tongue harder as you feel his tip become drenched in a delicious mixture of both your spit and his precum, and feel his entire length throb under the weight of your efforts. It’s actually quite flattering really, seeing how fast he’s about to cum from your suggestions.

“Fuuuuuuck please swallow baby please please please!” He whines, that inner submissive of his still lingering as he holds your head down firmly on his cock while you feel his cum shoot down to the back of your throat, and practically choke you with how much you feel quickly filling your mouth. You cough slightly as you try and obey Billy by swallowing what you can, yet you can’t help but have a few drops of his essence flow down your cheek as you struggle swallowing the first few drops.

“Here you go baby…” Billy murmurs, using his fingers to pick up the stray dribbles and put them in front of your lips. Admittedly you feel quite bashful as you avoid his eyes while sucking the remaining taste of him off his fingers, but as soon as you finish, those same now spit covered fingers rest under your chin and force your head up so your eyes can meet.

A silent gasp releases under your breath as you see an uncharacteristic carefree yet somehow cocky smile on Billy’s face. That submissive man you saw not even five minutes ago gone as this new, changed man sits before you. Like some sort of strange sexual butterfly.

“You were a good girl for me.” He simply says, allowing you to bask in the feeling of his dominance that makes your legs weak at the knees. “And good girls if I’m right, get rewarded. You taught me that pretty girl. So please, get naked, and get on the bed for me arse up, so I can reward you for being so good for me.”

Fuck you’ve made a monster. A sexy one yes, but still a sexually dominant monster.

You do as Billy says to a T. Stripping yourself quickly so that your clothes are all over the bedroom floor, and placing your body on the bed in Billy’s desired position. You wait with bated breath for what feels like hours while your skin erupts in a multitude of goosebumps, and you swear you nearly jump out of your skin when you feel Billy’s warm skin suddenly against yours. You feel his half hard cock rubbing almost pitifully against your arse, and you realise with a very sick thrill that you can actually feel him getting harder the more your juices seem to coat him.

It seems though you were so caught up in your thoughts, that you miss the sounds of Billy’s own clumsy movements of stripping.

“So pretty…” He groans. A beautiful sound that leaves you wanting more more and more. How greedy of you… “You want to be fucked by me don’t you? By your boss?”

“Yes sir!” You whine, your head going dull as you stay focused only Billy’s body and nothing else. On the way he makes you feel so effortlessly, and without meaning. “Want you to make me yours! Want me to make sure everyone knows I only belong to you!”

You can hear Billy deeply grunt behind you, and with a gasp you don’t even at first realise belong to you, you feel Billy thrust his cock deep inside you. An intense feeling of fullness hitting you as you close your eyes and grip your hands desperately at the sheets in an attempt to ground yourself.

He gratefully allows you to get used to the sudden intrusion, but before you know it, Billy is quickly thrusting himself quickly in and out of you while you moan and keen for more beneath him. Your eyes screwing shut as your lower belly slowly tightens harder and harder.

“So good!” He groans, unexpectedly yet cautiously smacking your backside with his palm that causes an absolute pathetic sound to leave your lips. “My sweet little slut. All mine to fuck!”

An abundance of yeses comes quickly and brainlessly as you answer Billy’s statement with a high pitched moan. All you want right now is to cum. And by the way you can feel your cunt clenching and fluttering hard around Billy’s cock, you can guess it won’t be long before you do.

“Fuck sir I wanna cum please let me cum for you sir I’ve been so good!” You whine, your mouth hanging open in a silent scream as Billy somehow manages to move himself faster against you. The sound of his skin smacking at such a fast pace against your own to your ears sounding like an erotic symphony.

“Yes… you have been good…” Billy groans. His voice so strained it’s as if he’s struggling with all his strength to say them. “So you’ll continue to be good… by taking my fucking cum in your perfect cunt!”

You take that as your queue, and with a loud unwavering yell, you cum hard around Billy’s cock. Coaxing forth his own orgasm as he clutches hard at your skin and pushes himself as deep as he can to you. Moaning as you focus on the feeling of his hot cum filling you.

You can also feel his pubic hair stimulating your swollen clit, which leaves you silently gasping against the mattress and your aching pussy clenching against Billy’s softening cock.

The two of you stay where you are as you allow each other to breathe and calm down, yet it’s not long before the two of you are cuddling under the bed covers, with Billy’s cock still inside you.

“Did you like that baby?” You can’t help but murmur. Anxious on whether Billy was happy over you pushing him out of his usual comfort zone.

“It was different…” He summarises. You cannot see his face to make any assumptions. Given that your man has gone back to his roots by putting his head in the curve of your neck. “But I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

You may not be able to see it, but even so, your ego swells massively when you realise you can feel Billy’s bashful smile against your skin. It almost makes you want to have your wicked way with him again. That is though, before you realise with a warm feeling chest that Billy has steadily fallen asleep against you. With his softened cock still inside you, and your arms wrapped firmly around his body ensuring his safety.

“Sleep baby…” You murmur, kissing the top of his head with a smile. “You were such a good boy for me baby… we’ll see about rewarding you later….”

You may have imagined it, but you swear you can feel Billy smile against your skin. Yet you push the thought away and instead choose to close your eyes, and allow your own exhaustion to overcome you. You and Billy’s breaths and hearts synching as you hold each other with as much love as a sleeping person could handle.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Endgame: The Book Report

So here it is. It kinda goes off the rails towards the end. That's the problem with having to drink through this: it's very easy to lose your train of thought, so you end up rambling.

As always, the TL;DR first. I'm goign to use headings and subheadings in the report below for easier skimming.

There aren't many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom but it's still not good.

Scobie definitely holds a grudge for the way he was treated after Finding Freedom published.

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Scobie and the Sussexes don't understand how business works.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

Rage against the machine and media

Not many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

There isn't a whole lot that's new. Most of the book (maybe 75%/80%) is things we already know about because they were covered extensively by the media when it happened.

Sources. He never names names, so the whole thing is written based on anonymous sources and it doesn't seem reliable. Not to mention, some of the sources read like it might be the same person, but Scobie is treating them as different people so it looks like he has a ton of sources. It suggests, to me, that he doesn't have the kind of access he claims to (which is probably true. There was a leak a couple months ago by one of the royal reporters that Scobie once called them begging for contacts and sources because no one was talking to him) and he's scrambling to cover it up.

Piers Morgan. Scobie confirms that Piers is close to Camilla. They grew up near each other and have fond memories of their hometown that they’ve connected over. There’s a 10-year age gap between them so it’s more like they have people/experiences in common than they played together. Scobie is careful not to say that he thinks Camilla gives information to Piers but he makes it clear that Piers’s loyalty has not gone unrecognized by Camilla.

The Bee, The Wasp, and The Fly. Harry's villains in Spare, which he nicknamed so he wouldn't be sued could speak more openly about them. I remember a lot of guessing about who these were but I can't recall if anyone confirmed their names. Well, Scobie does.

The Bee is Edward Young, whom Harry hates because “Young abused his gatekeeping power, gaslighting him when it came to passing along important messages about his lawsuits to the media, and then prohibiting access to his grandmother when Harry needed her the most, all under the guise of ‘protecting the sovereign’.” Harry and Scobie also believe that Young truly loathed Meghan and “was slow to help find patronages and active roles” for her after the wedding. “Sources say he ‘dithered’ for eight months before nudging Queen Elizabeth II to appoint Meghan as the royal patron for the National Theatre.” (So Meghan is incapable of doing her own work to find suitable charities and patronages? So much for hitting the ground running like she claimed.)

The Wasp is Clive Alderton. He's Charles's crony.

The Fly is Simon Case, whom Harry sees as the cause for his and William’s relationship breaking. In Harry’s perspective, Case made moves that prioritized William’s role as heir without consideration for Harry. Some of Case’s actions felt like they were made to promote William at Harry’s expense (for instance, Harry believes Case pushed British media to attack the Sussexes over their travel by private flight and organized the Cambridges’ commercial Flybe flight to Balmoral with the express purpose of being able to tip off the press). 

Rota System. Scobie describes how the rota works. It is the most complete explanation of how the rota works that I can recall reading in royal books and I can't see them being very happy he pulled the curtain back. (More on this in the 'Media' section further down.)

Courtiers - Scobie explains that in the palace lexicon, a courtier is “a press official or private secretary who manages and offers advice to working royals, strategizes engagements, and releases information.” These are Diana’s “men in gray suits.”

The bombshell - Scobie implies that Harry accused Christian Jones of either hacking his and Meghan’s phones/office(s) and feeding information to Dan Wootton at The Sun or facilitating access for Wootton/The Sun to hack their phones/offices, leading to Wootton’s Megxit scoops.

Scobie doesn’t say that specifically and he’s careful to paint Harry with sympathy but it’s there between the lines. After describing what happened, Scobie writes that Harry was surprised by the Palace’s response, that they were angry at him, not Jones, and that they had arranged a lawyer for Jones (which is, to me, the first subtle hint that Harry wasn’t just complaining and had actually made some kind of accusation). Scobie goes further to say that the Palace interpreted Harry’s complaints as a threat to sue so they lowered the boom and then Harry realized how badly he fucked up so he did the classic “you’re overreacting, that’s not what I said.”

The timeline is a little unclear but from Scobie’s writing, Harry’s “report” to higher authorities of his concerns about Jones and The Sun happened in April 2020 after “starting” in January 2020 at the Sandringham Summit when Harry apparently spoke to William about this. Now, this is where I get a little “be fucking for real.” Let’s be clear: the Megxit statement was Harry announcing his intent to quit and the Sandringham Summit was the BRF saying “we accept your resignation, your last day is X” (which ended up being March 9th, the Commonwealth Service). Which means that by the time April rolled around and Harry made this “report,” he was no longer an employee of the firm; he was, for all intent and purpose, a disgruntled ex-employee with a grudge. Of course the Palace is going to come down hard on him, because they’re going to protect the person who is still there working for them. 

Harry (and Scobie) seem to believe that this “report” of his concerns with The Sun is directly connected to the palace’s decision in July 2020 to cut off all the financial support he and Meghan were still getting from the Crown, including the official private security that Charles was paying for. (This is the second subtle hint that his “report” was actually some kind of accusation or threat.) Maybe there is a correlation, maybe there isn’t. But at the end of the day, Harry fucked around and Harry found out.

(Christian Jones comes up again in the Media section.) 

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom, but it's still not good.

Finding Freedom. One of the things everyone roasted Scobie on was all the merching, name-dropping and brand promotion that was in Finding Freedom. He must have learned his lesson because there’s very little of this. In that regard, Endgame isn’t as obnoxious to read.

The Crown. Scobie mentions The Crown a few times and talks about a couple of plot points. It only happens three or four times, but it’s a definite clue that his audience is the casual royal watcher here only for the drama. It’s hard to take him (or anyone, really) serious when he’s compelled to base the veracity of something happening on whether, or how, The Crown covered it.

Editing and fact-checking. The editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) isn’t as bad as in Spare, but Scobie and his team definitely have some mistakes. Someone on that team doesn’t know how to write a list, so there’s a lot of strange clauses and phrases.

With the fact-checking, there are a few glaring errors that close followers/watchers of the royal family will pick up. The most egregious one is this sentence:

During a conversation just hours after the September 19, 2022, funeral of Prince Philip, Harry confronted his father and brother about why nothing was done on Meghan’s behalf.

Philip’s funeral was April 17, 2021, and we know there was a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards. The Queen’s funeral was September 19, 2022, and no one reported a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards, so I don’t think it happened there. (Also William wasn’t talking to Harry by September 2022 - Scobie makes it painfully clear that William was both refusing to see Harry and refusing to take his calls.)

However, if you google Prince Philip’s funeral, you get this:

The truth is that Philip’s funeral was on April 17, 2021. But Philip wasn’t actually buried (i.e., placed in his final resting place) then. That had to wait until The Queen’s funeral, and it was widely announced at the time that he would wait. The Queen and Prince Philip were both interred together on the evening of September 19, 2022, in a private family-only service.

So that’s some very lazy fact-checking. It's Internet 101: Verify, verify, verify.

Other similar instances:

Scobie’s description of The Queen’s return home to London: "Five days into the ten-day period of national mourning, King Charles and Camilla, Queen Consort, received the coffin at RAF Northolt, on the western outskirts of London. It was there the royal family handed over her body to the public she served--Her Majesty then lay in state until the day of her funeral." (Charles and Camilla weren’t at RAF Northolt. They received the coffin at Buckingham Palace - remember, Scobie? When you got the only photograph of the moment because Meghan tipped you off?, and the family didn’t “hand over” The Queen until the following day, Day Six.) (Here’s the livestream from RAF Northolt; go to 25:07 for a view of the receiving party).

Scobie writes that Sara Latham was working for the Sussexes in Summer 2018, but she wasn’t hired until March 2019. (The specific quote is in the Meghan’s Lapdog section below.)

Scobie writes that William “automatically became the Prince of Wales--the Duke of Cornwall in England and the Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew in Scotland” on the Queen’s death and Charles’s accession. William got the Duke of Cornwall and the rest on Charles’s accession. Charles had to bestow Prince of Wales on him.

The second instance of fact-checking that jumps out is Scobie’s own fact-checking on misinformation about Harry and Meghan, yet he perpetuates it against other members of the royal family. Here’s an example. Scobie discusses how News of the World published stories about Harry's drug use as a teenager but then goes on to say:

While Harry has admitted to spending many nights at Highgrove getting high and drunkenly falling into trouble at a local pub in Wiltshire, the story failed to mention that this rebellious time in his life was partly the result of Charles leaving him alone at his country mansion for a majority of the summer in 2002.

But then Scobie gives only partial stories for other royals, conveniently leaving out the pieces that nullify his argument:

It's impossible to forget the time Kensington Palace issued an official statement in defense of Kate after a plastic surgeon had suggested to a newspaper that she, then the Duchess of Cambridge, had 'baby Botox' injections to reduce wrinkles.

and

And who can forget when [Edward and Sophie] was sent to Antigua and Barbados, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Saint Lucia just one month after William and Kate's flop Caribbean tour?

and

“There is even a rumor (one that, surprisingly, sources have confirmed) that Charles likes to have someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him ahead of his bedtime routine.”

The truth is that KP only took action about Kate's baby Botox claims because the surgeon was using her image to promote his practice. And the way Scobie describes the then-Wessex tour of the Caribbean, he means for us to think it was an apology tour after the terribly-received Cambridge tour, but that is not at all the case: the Cambridge tour and the Wessex tour were both announced on the same day, in the same press release. And yes, Charles did once have someone toothpaste his toothbrush, but only when he had a broken arm/wrist and couldn’t do it himself.

Citations. Let me ask you a quick question first. When you read a nonfiction book like this, you expect the author to cite their sources in the text, right? You want the footnotes and the endnotes so you can look up where things are coming from, right? Well, not Scobie! He lumps his sources and citations together in a “credits” section at the end of the book. If you want to know what a source says or which article he’s referencing, good luck. For me, this is terrible practice because it obscures and obfuscates the strength of his work. It calls a lot of questions about the accuracy of his reporting that he can’t properly attribute his quotes, sources, or reference materials and makes the possibility that his entire book is the same handful of anonymous sources more likely.

Strange interludes. Throughout the book, there are strange interludes of, well, history lessons. There are sections on Charles II and William IV, sections about Hamlet and Beckett, and Scobie even discusses Lucy Worlsey’s book on Georgian courtiers (YOU KEEP LUCY WORLSEY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH **Will Smith slap**). I see what he’s doing - he’s trying to connect the issues in the modern House of Windsor with other periods of institutional stability - but it doesn’t really work. It’s awkward. In some places it works better than others, like the piece about Worlsey’s courtiers goes easily with Scobie’s discussion of Charles’s courtiers. But to bring up William IV only to point out how Charles is older than him? It’s clunky.

What exactly is this book? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a cultural interpretation of the modern House of Windsor in the new Carolean age through the lens of media relations. 

Sometimes it’s Scobie’s memoir. He puts himself in the middle of these stories a lot, to the point where it’s like 50% his personal recollection and 50% commentary. We get it, man. You have a fabulous job with access to the kinds of people and events the rest of us can only dream about it. But it’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. Take yourself out of it.

Sometimes it’s an investigative journalism-like expose. It reminds me a lot of the works by the muckrakers, who were working hard to expose corruption and implement reform. There are sections of the book that feels preachy, where Scobie is writing about his ideas for how the palace’s relationship with the media need to change or how their stance on race relations could modernize, and when it’s not accepted or taken seriously, you can feel his anger seeping off the page that no one’s listening to him. 

And sometimes it reads as if it’s been ghostwritten by Meghan and Harry themselves. There are some stories, some quotes, some details–especially post-Megxit–that could only come from them, or people very close to them in California. And you know, given how intensely private Harry and Meghan are, they absolutely consented to those stories being part of Scobie’s book. Scobie tries hard to cover those tracks but it leaks through. Here are some of those quotes/sections:

The next morning, after a further Palace update warned that her doctors were 'concerned for Her Majesty's health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision,’ an insider messaged me to say, 'It's not looking good.' For a multitude of reasons, I hoped the warning would turn out to be false. Arriving at ABC News' offices that Thursday afternoon, I received a text from someone very close to the family. As I caught my breath in the elevator of the Disney-owned building, 'A Spoonful of Sugar' was playing quietly in the background, making a surreal moment even more so. 'Please don't say anything yet, but I think it's happened,' they wrote. I responded with a follow-up, checking that I understood their message correctly. No doubt trying to get confirmation of their own, the source--someone whose word I had come to trust over recent years--didn't reply.

and

[Princess Michael] later apologized for the indiscretion (though never directly to Meghan), but according to sources, the princess still shrugs and wrinkles her lip when the subject comes up. 'I don't think she particularly cared,' a senior royal source told me.

(how would Scobie know she never apologized directly to Meghan?)

and

As the morning sun rises over Santa Barbara, bathing the steep Santa Ynez Mountains, and the Pacific Ocean sparkles with California's trademark glow, the sprawling Sussex compound in the wealthy enclave of Montecito is already popping. With Meghan already preparing a family breakfast in the kitchen, Prince Harry is busy getting the couple's children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, ready for nursery school and toddler playgroup, respectively. Despite the staff on hand to help during the daytime, when Harry and Meghan shift into work mode, the Sussexes keep their mornings as time 'for the family only,' said a source--no staff.

and

The Sussexes' team received correspondence from Buckingham Palace's Keeper of the Privy Purse Sir Michael John Stevens, who informed Harry and Meghan that, as they were no longer working royals or based in Britain, they needed to give up the keys to their royal rental, Frogmore Cottage. Although there were reports to the contrary some months later, I spoke to a source close to the couple on the day they were informed, and there was a clear feeling of shock and disappointment as the news sunk in.

Kate. How Scobie writes of Kate reveals that he may not be as close to the Waleses as he claims:

And now, like Diana, she, too, is the Princess of Wales. It’s a title that carries a huge and extremely important legacy, but sources close to the royal (who, for those wondering, ‘is just as happy being called Kate as she is Catherine’) say she is surprisingly ‘unfazed’ by her new destination.

I’m specifically talking about why he calls her Kate versus Catherine. (And I have issues with “surprisingly ‘unfazed’” too.) Yes, everyone knows that at one point, she was called Kate. But it’s been made very clear that she prefers to be called Catherine. She introduces herself as Catherine. William and the family calls her Catherine. She signs her letters, cards, and tweets as Catherine. She asked her own friends and her own family to call her Catherine. Nobody calls her Kate except the public, and I feel pretty confident in saying that the “call me Kate or Catherine” message was explicitly intended for the general public, because she isn’t going to be all ‘ahem, my name is CATHERINE’ to fourteen-year-old Jennifer who’s so excited to see her, and the press decided to lump themselves into that category because their SEO is tied to ‘Kate.’

But what I’ve noticed is that people in the traditional press are starting to call her Catherine, especially those that write books. The shift seems to have begun when The Queen passed and Kate became The Princess of Wales.

So for Scobie to happily call her Kate and justify it with ‘well she said it’s OK!’ when she very clearly prefers Catherine makes him more uncredible. He can call Meghan by her preferred name. Why can’t he call Kate ‘Catherine’ because she prefers it?

(As for “surprisingly unfazed” - listen. The woman took William back seventeen years ago KNOWING that this was her future. That’s 4 years “pre-engaged” and almost 13 years of marriage, and you’re telling me you’re shocked, just SHOCKED, that she was prepared to be the Princess of Wales? Scobie, please.)

Scobie holds a HUGE grudge about the way he was treated after Finding Freedom.

He’s not Meghan’s lapdog! Much of the criticism Scobie endured from Finding Freedom were allegations of how close he was to Meghan. He denies, denies, denies all through Endgame, and those statements are dripping with scorn and derision. He absolutely hates that people don’t take him seriously because of a perceived connection to Meghan:

The papers would often refer to me, incorrectly, as Harry and Meghan's 'pal,' another lie largely created to delegitimize the details I was sharing from sources close to the couple that often went against narratives that tabloids were reporting.

He goes to great lengths to tell us and make sure we know that he is not close with Harry and Meghan, that he is close to their communication aides/staff. That may or may not be true, but it certainly does not help his case when he keeps saying things like:

During the peak of [Meghan's racism on-slaught and Scobie's social media pile-on] in late summer 2018, I received a call that I thought was from the couple's head of communications at the time, Sara Latham. We had been texting back and forth about an upcoming royal engagement. 'Hi, Omid!' a female voice chirped. It was different to Latham's northwestern American accent. 'It's Meghan.' I put my iced coffee down, not quite sure if the call was a prank. 'We saw your name keep coming up on the phone...and I just wanted to say high, see how you're doing.' Sara had mentioned to her that I was dealing with my own online harassment and threats.

and

When the couple left their children in California with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, and a nanny to visit the United Kingdom and Germany for five days of engagements in September 2022, neither knew that the quick-fire trip would result in a two-week return to royal drama. Neither did I. During this visit, I joined some of their engagements and watched as Meghan gave a speech to teenagers and young adults at the One Young World summit in Manchester.

and

That summer, Christian Jones--who remained at Kensington Palace to oversee all the Cambridges' media efforts--messaged me out of the blue to say it would no longer be appropriate to socialize. Another aide later told me that William had requested this. As we approached 2020, I felt the growing strains on my working relationship with Kensington Palace, who were also much more guarded when it came to their own communication with the Sussex team at Buckingham Palace. I was still invited to the private briefings and announcements but, two months after returning from an October tour with the Sussexes in southern Africa, one of William's aides revealed that William felt 'uncomfortable' with my relationship with the Sussex team.

He’s so close to the Sussexes that Meghan has personally spoken to him, that he was invited to cover their fauxyal tour in September 2022, and William himself is uncomfortable with the access he has to Harry and Meghan. And he doesn’t see how or why people may think he’s in Meghan’s pocket?

It’s very clear that Scobie thinks of himself to be a consummate journalism professional, a neutral third-party whose only loyalty is to truth and fact. According to himself, he can report a Cambridge/Wales versus Sussex issue fairly, accurately, and evenly, but the way he describes certain events taking place tells us that part of his dislike for William is because William never gave Scobie the opportunity to prove it; William, or William’s team, saw Scobie getting closer to the Sussexes and nipped his “both sides of the fence” strategy in the bud. This, I suspect, is why he’s so offended when people accuse him of being close to Meghan and Harry - because by being so closely linked to the Sussexes, he lost preferential treatment from the Cambridges and that absolutely reflects poorly on him. 

Lost access. Scobie is very transparent and very clear that he lost sources and access to Kensington Palace several times because of his “loyalty” to the Sussexes, most especially after Finding Freedom published:

Owing to a unique pool of sources and a refusal to follow the crowd, I quickly became a trusted confidante for many in and around the younger family--a true insider. But all that changed in late 2020 after the publication of my first book, Finding Freedom, about Harry and Meghan's whirlwind journey in, and out of, the House of Windsor...The fear of damaging revelations scared the family and angered powerful Palace operatives, and it also put a mark on my back...I'm still in the mix, but let's just say I'm no longer the journalist who some in the family, or the more royalist-leaning correspondents, are thrilled to see at engagements. Having moved away from playing the Palace game of give-and-take to maintain access, I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution.

While he’s mostly bitter that Finding Freedom cost him sources and affiliation, he also sees it as a badge of honor, arrogantly boasting:

I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution. Why? Because I know--and share--too much. For four years, some of the most damaging in Windsor history, I witnessed the full scope of the deceptions, malice, and defensive posturing of an unstable family business and an institution in decline. I saw how far they would go to save their own skin, the deep corrosion at the heart of the royal establishment, and I've witnessed the human damage done because of it."

and

Parts of this book will burn my bridges for good. But to tell the full story, there’s no holding back. Not anymore. We’re in the endgame. (Isn’t this the same speech Ironman gives in Avengers: Endgame?)

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Overly sympathetic to the Sussexes. We all knew that Endgame would be clearly biased in favor of the Sussexes since that’s where Scobie has drawn battle lines, but the extent to which he gives Harry grace and sympathy is beyond astounding and, at times, beggars belief.

For instance, one of the constant lines throughout the book is how frequently Harry keeps trying to reach out to Charles and William to have “conversations.” In Scobie’s world, Harry is completely absolved of anything he may or may not have done to upset Charles and anger William, that the lack of relationship between Charles/William and Harry is completely on Charles and William because Harry is always communicating, always reaching out, always wants to talk, always available for a call. Scobie makes it clear that Harry (and Meghan) expect apologies and accountability. But where is Harry and Meghan taking accountability and making apologies for what they did? There’s a fundamental inability for any of them on “Team Sussex” to realize that if they truly desire a conversation and apologies, then they need to apologize first; doing so would make it clear to Charles and William that they’re serious about resolving these issues. 

Except I think they know that. The way Scobie phrases some of this seems to hint that the Sussexes know being able to have this conversation means they need to take accountability for their own behavior/actions and apologize to Charles and William. But they won’t because they thrive on the attention and drama that making these demands every quarter brings them. It’s the only way they have been able to reliably and consistently stay in the news.

And one of the more infuriating comments Scobie makes is this one:

One is left to wonder if William of Anglesey or William the air ambulance pilot would have left his sibling out in the cold in the same way.

Why is the broken brotherhood all on William? Why is it exclusively related to William coming to terms with his status in the family? Why isn’t there equal accountability on Harry, who takes such pride and ownership in being a soldier, who’s talked about the guilt of having to leave my guys behind? If William of Anglesey or William the Air Ambulance Pilot wouldn’t leave Harry out in the cold, then Scobie needs to equally ask: Would Captain Harry Wales have abandoned his brother and left him behind?

Bias against William and Kate. We also knew that Endgame would be a smear job against William and Kate. Scobie doesn’t let us down. He delights in pointing out how awful William is to be thinking about a future without Charles (forgetting that Charles did the same thing to The Queen, and also when The Queen was much younger than Charles is now). He’s thrilled to paint William as a ruthless bully in the way he manages his staff and how his staff is equally ruthless in the way they engage/interact with other staffs, especially in communications and media relations.

What surprised me is that Scobie isn’t as venomous as he usually is in his coverage of her, which often is rooted in the relationship between Kate and Meghan. He does get his digs in, don’t get me wrong:

He calls her workshy and lazy without saying the words directly: “Where other senior royals are out and about several times a week…Kate has long maintained a smaller work schedule that helped her check off the required royal boxes while saving time for her roles as a mother and wife.”

He reinforces the “Carole is the master schemer” rumor: “Carole saw that the pretty and grounded Kate was ready to carry the family name further to the top…The Middleton strategy involved more than just aristocratic affectation–Carole calculatingly placed Kate right at the center of young Prince William’s world….Carole set things up, and Kate took it the rest of the way.”

He mentions the “plastic princess designed to breed” article.

He says that Kate’s Hold Still project was the same thing as Meghan’s Hubb Community cookbook. (On the surface they are similar, yes, but Meghan slapped her name on the cookbook and took credit for everything whereas Kate was involved with the Hold Still book from Day One with the initial contest and took credit only for the actual introduction she wrote, letting the community own the actual content.)

He brings up the unfriendliness with Meghan: “She spent more time talking about Meghan than talking to her…Kate has jokingly shivered when Meghan’s name has come up around her”.

And of course, it's not a smear job until the Rose rumors are addressed. Don't worry. They're here too.

There’s plenty more where this comes from, but Scobie’s overall portrayal of Kate is that he sees her as a victim to the palace machinery who survived on the basis of being willing to submit fully to the “palace personality makeover.” She has succeeded where Meghan, Diana, and Sarah failed because she was willing to be trained (why, Scobie claims, The Queen liked her) and she had William’s protection to keep the monarchy from corrupting her. It’s an interesting spin that I didn’t expect from Scobie, but he takes it too far with a metaphor that the Palace has stifled her individuality: 

"Here's the thing about [the weeping blue cedar Kate planted at an event in 2019]: It's naturally slow-growing and requires adequate space for its sculptural branches and cascading needles. But if there is too much pruning, or the space around it is too restricted, the tree ends up taking on an odd shape and loses the character that made it so special in the first place."

Because in blaming it all on the Palace, Scobie conveniently leaves out any accountability for himself or the press in the way they treated, and have, at times, mocked Kate, such as:

Some journalists who have been approached by publishers to author biographies about the Princess of Wales have turned down the chance. 'I'd barely be able to do a chapter, let alone an entire book,' one joked to me. (Even so, a Kate book would sell like gangbusters. Missed opportunity if you ask me.)

and

[M]ainstream coverage of Kate in the British papers is overwhelmingly positive, often bordering on infantilizing the princess, with articles marveling at her ability to perform the simplest of tasks (think enthusiastic reporting about kicking a soccer ball or flipping a pancake or how amazing it is that she can assume a perfect 'princess pose' in photographs).

Scobie seems unable to realize that the reason Kate has retreated “further into” the palace machinery is because the press keeps pushing her into it. She has kept her individuality and her personality and her “Kate”-ness, but it’s reserved only for those close to her and only for the general public that genuinely cares for her. The “palace persona” that Scobie sees her in is the elevated version of herself she presents to the press. And why wouldn't she let them see who she really is? They mock her and belittle her any chance they get!

The hypocrisy, overall. It’s just exhausting. Scobie plays everyone against each other, sometimes even contradicting his own stories.

We can be ageist but not racist - discriminating against Lady Susan Hussey is okay because she’s eighty years old and that disqualifies her from public service.

It’s okay for Harry to complain but not William or Charles.

It’s okay for people to not know who the Earl and Countess of Wessex are but everyone in the whole damn world must know who Oprah is.

It’s okay for Charles to plan his future but not William.

It’s okay for Charles to own six properties but William can’t have three.

It’s okay for Harry to use the media to settle grievances, but not Charles.

It’s okay for Charles to show leadership, but not William.

It’s okay for the Dutch royals to let scholarly research on their role in the slave trade determine how, where, and when they apologize for their colonialism but the BRF needs to apologize and make reparations immediately.

It’s okay for Meghan to have help at home and prioritize family time, but not Kate.

It’s okay for Harry to cash in on Diana’s memory but not anyone else, and certainly not William.

It’s okay for the Queen to take lots of time off because she works a lot but not Kate, who doesn’t work because she has children. (Is raising children not work?)

It’s okay for the Queen to avoid talking to the media, but not Kate.

It’s okay for the Sussexes to have preferred reporters but not the Cambridges/Waleses.

It’s okay to tackle misinformation about Harry, not anyone else.

It’s okay for Charles to upstage the Queen/his parent but not for William to upstage the King/his parent.

It’s okay for Harry to blindside his family announcing things to the media first, but not anyone else.

Scobie and the Sussexes have no idea how actual business works.

So many times I thought “tell me you don’t know about the corporate world without telling me you don’t know about the corporate world.”

The biggest giveaway that they have no idea how businesses operate is this mutually-held idea that change must be immediate and must begin as soon as someone thinks of it. There’s no regard for policy, no regard for process, no regard for procedures, no regard for research, no regard for any kind of preparation to make it a lasting, effective success.

Here’s an example, from Scobie:

But it would be hasty to unreservedly believe that real change is on the horizon for the wider royal establishments just yet. In 2023, it was reported that 9.7 percent of employees in Buckingham Palace were from ethnic minority backgrounds (up from 9.6 percent the previous year) and Kensington Palace employed 16.3 percent (up from 13.6 percent). The numbers appear to be ticking up in the right direction, but a closer look at the senior staffers around royal family members reveal a predominantly white lineup (exclusively, in the case of communications team members and private secretaries at William and Kate's household). It depressingly shows that the majority of non-white employees are at junior levels or working in more service industry-type positions.

This reads like Scobie’s expectation is for the Palace to fire their existing teams and replace them exclusively with diversity hires - but even that isn’t an effective solution because everyone would just scream “it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just for the PR!” The kind of institutional change Scobie is demanding actually takes a lot of time to implement, more than the few days he thinks it should. They have to wait for vacancies to open up or, if they’re going to create a new position, then it’s even more complicated:

Where in your budget is the money coming from to be able to pay the new person their salary and benefits? What project isn’t going to happen? What program is going to get canceled?

What exactly are they going to do? If you’re taking X duties from Jane, then what is Jane going to do now?

Where are they going to sit? What kind of technology do they need? What kind of resources, access, passwords, keys?

What’s the priority for this staffing need? What aren’t you going to do because you’re going to do this hire instead? What position isn’t going to get filled? What project isn’t going to get done? 

Should the palace be hiring more diversely? Yes, absolutely. But it’s going to take time. It’s not going to change very much in one year. But what can change in one year is the recruitment strategy behind hiring, and that’s something that Scobie could actually get answers on. Are they still recruiting from the usual places or have they diversified and branched out? Are they doing blind hiring (where they remove all the personally identifying information like race, gender, name, education)? Are they recruiting from the Commonwealth realms? And this is what someone like Scobie should be asking the BRF to uphold their accountability.

Here’s another example:

Naturally, as paid members of the team, household staff for each of the three offices look out for the royals they represent. This is where 'briefings' get complicated, because while the aides are all working to prop up the Crown, they owe nothing to the family members they don't report to.

Um…does Scobie not know that he’s described every single organization and every single job? Everyone at the company works to support the company but you only owe results to the people you report to. Does he not see this at his own magazines or has he freelanced for so long he doesn’t remember what a “real” job is like?

Family businesses. Harry, Meghan, and Scobie cannot see the firm as a business. They look at and perceive everything through the lens of ‘family.’ This is, probably, the biggest “lightbulb” moment I had in reading Endgame. Harry and Meghan don’t understand, or they don’t care to understand, that there’s a family side to the monarchy and that there’s a business side to the monarchy. Everything they have done, they’ve done through the family side, hoping to leverage their personal relationships for change and action, when it was really a matter for the business side. 

And all of their problems with William, with the courtiers, with how things are done, is because they viewed the monarchy as “family first, family always” when everyone else understood, fundamentally, that there’s a time for family and a time for business. And what’s interesting is that William and Kate - forasmuch as they prioritize their own family (scaled back diaries and long breaks overlapping with the kids’ school holidays), they also prioritize the monarchy and the business side of it. They show up when it matters: they do the ceremonies, they do the walkabouts, they do the small talk, they promote the work and the people and the culture of Britain. 

Here are some quotes from Scobie illustrating how he, and the Sussexes, think “family only”:

Over time, William increasingly complained about Meghan to aides and family members. He didn't like how opinionated she was, how she spoke to his staff, and how much of her Markle family dramas were in the press. 'William shifted away from acting like a brother and became more like someone only focused [on the Crown]," a source close to the Sussexes said.

and

Charles vanished into the sacred Crown's engulfing orbit, leaving William to face the royal family's new chapter and the institution's increasing demands without his brother close by, the one person in the world who can empathize with all that's in store for him.

and

During the days ahead, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile, praying the press wouldn't turn their attention to them but remain rightfully focused on the loss of a beloved monarch. 'There was an incredible sense of sadness,' said a family source. 'For them, the Queen was one of their last strong links to the family. She always made them feel welcome. Without her...it will never be the same.

And this is in addition to Harry expecting to keep the perks of monarchy as “just” a family member that I mentioned in the “bombshell” section. He really thought he could have his life, “career,” and family fully subsidized by the business profit because he’s the CEO’s son/grandson. He’s so gobsmacked in July 2020 to realize that not everyone sees the monarchy as “family first, family always” that it literally breaks him. All of his lawsuits and all of his fighting since then has been trying to force the BRF to remodel themselves into his vision of “family first, family always” so he can get his perks back without having to work another day in his life.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

I know that race and race relations can be painful to talk about, but this is incredibly important. I don’t want to wade in too deep into it because these are conversations that aren’t easy to have through screens.

The monarchy, the institution, needs to change to be more conscientious of the power dynamics at play between an aristocratic white family who made their money on the backs of labor, land, and servants and a fast-changing world demanding more and more accountability. Charles's endorsement of the research project that the University of Manchester and the Historical Royal Palaces is a good start, as Scobie also recognizes, but there needs to be more and they can't just wipe their hands off when the report gets published saying "We did our piece. What's next?" There needs to be more and I hope there is more.

Scobie makes a lot of good, important points in his discussion (like it's not enough for the BRF to remove offensive pieces of art or contextualize their collections and they can't hold these discussions behind closed doors and that the public/the Commonwealth realms deserve to have a say in what happens next). But he also makes a few points that seem to indicate he doesn’t fully understand just how complicated race relations are, particularly when it comes to their intersection with politics. Scobie seems to think that the royal family, including the monarch (The Queen at the time), should disregard the “don’t get involved in politics” principle on a case-by-case basis to be able to speak out and support communities suffering injustice and inequality. It’s a fine line to tow; at what point is something “worthy” enough of the royal family to speak out? And how is something judged “worthier” than another to warrant royal intervention? And why has the press nominated themselves to judge that line, instead of, you know, the actual public the monarchy serves?

Probably the most disappointing thing about this section is how misplaced it feels in comparison to the overall book and message. 90% of the book is about media relations; Scobie's relationships with communications staffers, the relationship the palace has with the media, the dynamics at play between aides, principals, and the media. And then there’s a chapter on race. It's as misfitting as the chapter on Andrew (which largely just serves only to let Scobie remind everyone of the Epstein affiliations because Charles seems to be sweeping it under the rug). And that is horrific for Scobie to do; the palace's inability, or unwillingness, to recognize their role in a near-global racial disparity should not, cannot, and must not be equivalent to Andrew's scandals.

Purely from an editorial standpoint, this chapter would have been much stronger, much more compelling, and probably more thought-provoking if it was a standalone essay or part of a larger work that specifically examined racial and ethnic diversity in modern institutions of power or modern monarchies. I think Scobie shoots himself in the foot a little if his goal is to have a conversation and introduce reform by burying it in a book about media and communications. 

I do hope Scobie considers writing more on this. In fact, I think if he did do a larger and more critical piece about diversity, he might be able to earn back some of the professional credit he’s lost by becoming so closely affiliated with the Sussexes.

Rage against the machine and the media

(It kind of goes off the rails here. Apologies in advance.)

Royal rota system. So there are two rota/pool systems. One is for broadcast/television reporters. One is for the newspaper/print reporters. “Royal rota” as it’s used in the royal-watching community popularly refers to the newspaper pool.

The rota is a system where members take turns reporting back to the larger group all the information (and gossip - Scobie makes it very clear that the royal reporters absolutely engage in gossip as much as we do) from royal engagements where open coverage isn’t possible or when a larger group isn’t necessary (i.e., “boring”). The smaller rota pool is one print reporter, one television camera/broadcaster, a couple of photographers, and someone from the Press Association. This smaller group travels “inside” with the royal while everyone else waits outside in a designated press pen for arrivals and departures.

There are 10 print publications that participate in the rota. Only established British national papers are allowed. There have been occasional exceptions for the London Evening Standard and Hello. No Commonwealth publications, no foreign publications (albeit one exception), and no digital publications/media sites are permitted to join.

The exception to the “no foreign publications” rule is US media. Americans are not officially part of the rota but in about 2010ish, the rota invited two US-based reporters (Scobie and one other person) to unofficially join the rota on a honorary basis. They were given access to the pool reporting notes and could join the rota’s press pen at engagements, which had priority access. This changed in 2017 with Meghan’s arrival, because with Meghan came more US media. The new American reporters complained to the rota’s oversight officials on grounds of fairness (i.e., Scobie and the other guy were getting more information and more access than all the other Americans) and the decision was made to take them off the rota.

And just who made that decision? Who’s in charge of the rota? Drumroll please…

The Daily Mail. Rebecca English, specifically.

But how it comes across in the book is that Scobie believes, bitterly and scornfully, that he was demoted from the rota because of his closeness to the Sussexes, and specifically Meghan. It really isn’t looking good for his denial that he treats Meghan “objectively.” He says that English told him he was pulled from the rota because he had become, largely, an American television news reporter and in classic Sussex whataboutism, Scobie says she “conveniently ignor[ed] my role as royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar.” Well, Scobie, you seem to be conveniently ignoring that Harper’s Bazaar is an American publication which further disqualifies you. That’s quite the entitlement.

The rota is overseen by the News Media Association. They appoint press “captains” - there’s two, one for the everyday and one for overseas tours - who manage assignments, the rotation, and ensures that everyone is getting the reports. Rebecca English has been the captain for thirteen years, which Scobie sees as a “monopoly.” Valentine Low, of The Times, is the overseas tour captain.

And that, to me, sheds a little bit more light on Harry’s vendetta against The Daily Mail. He hates that they “control” the rota and how firmly enmeshed the rota (i.e. The Daily Mail, in Harry’s mind) is with Palace operations. Harry says in Spare (which Scobie helpfully reproduces): “I'd had it with the royal rota, both the individuals and the system, which was more outdated than the horse and cart...It discouraged fair competition, engendered cronyism, and encouraged a small mob of hacks to feel entitled.”

Scobie feels the same way, and while he’s a bit more polite about it, he is equally as bitter:

Restricted access for Commonwealth outlets, digital news organizations, or US publications (the latter being relevant to a newly installed American duchess in the House of Windsor) didn't make much sense to man of us. With the support of two senior Palace aides, I wrote a letter to relevant senior individuals at Buckingham palace about why it was important to have an additional position in the rota--one that could at least be shared by the aforementioned groups. Harry, I was told, was also keen to back the effort. But it quickly hit a dead end. Rather than decide themselves, palace aides called in [Rebecca] English and The Times' royal correspondent Valentine Low, the rota's overseas tour captain (who was admittedly far less bothered about petty politics and mostly attempted to be fair in this less-involved role), for a meeting. English told them that letting 'others' in would be unacceptable. 'To be honest the rota is just a headache none of us want to deal with. It's easier to just leave it as it is,' a senior courtier said with a shrug over coffee with me. Yet another case of institutional fear and blinkered acceptance of the status quo when it comes to the media.

Scobie’s entire focus is on restoring his access to the rota. It’s not unlike Harry’s entire focus of media reform being on positive press coverage. 

Speaking of Harry, Scobie immediately drops another revelation, one that directly played into Megxit:

Harry and Meghan, who were having their own conversations about the same issue, were then told that if they wanted to break away from the rota system and give other journalists access to their work, they would have to foot the bill for their own engagements. The list for their reasons to leave was getting longer by the month. 

Concern about cronyism, outdated tools because ‘status quo’, and a refusal to modernize are legitimate complaints, absolutely. It would be far more beneficial if the rota system was overhauled completely to reflect today’s diverse media environment. (Not to mention, adding some spots for Commonwealth and realm publications could very well have an impact on the kind of coverage being reported back home.) But once again, Harry’s entitlement leaps off the page here.

He is such a penny-pincher that he couldn’t put up his own money to institute the kind of change he wanted to see. It wasn’t his responsibility, you see. His job is to make demands, but it’s up to everyone else around him to do the actual work, to pay for his ideas, to implement the change he desires. And circling back to the “Harry has no idea how a business works” theme from earlier, this betrays what Harry thinks “business” or “work” is. Harry thinks “work” is just showing up at the appointed time, reading the provided script, sharing a genius idea or two, shaking hands, and returns in 3 months expecting to see 10 years of progress on his genius idea so he can take all the credit. Harry absolutely is not capable of comprehending exactly how much happens behind the scenes to make his idea reality. It’s no wonder why Invictus Games is sinking like the Titanic. It’s no wonder why Archewell has plateaued. No one is interested in buffing up Harry’s ego anymore. No one is interested in implementing his ideas because he refuses to help or contribute.

But you know who does? William. William has an idea or William wants to see a change, William puts his head down and does the work to recruit the people, give direction, and find the funding. When the press start spreading lies or misinformation, William doesn't just sit there and complain at people to protect him. He uses his own resources to fix the problem, which Scobie (and Harry) perceive as the problem: William as heir has more power than Harry does to protect his wife. That's not what's happening. What's happening is that William doesn't take 'no' for an answer and he works the business till he gets what he wants. Harry gets told 'no' and he tries to manipulate the family to get what he wants...but the family can't do anything.

At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with power, or money, or status, or resources, and what William has that Harry doesn't. It’s that the Cambridges/Waleses are willing and able to do the work themselves. They put their money where their mouth is while Harry and Meghan prefer to buy knockoff athletic competitions and ice cream trucks that they can slap their name on and reap glory.

And Harry is so short-sighted. There would have been absolutely zero harm in abandoning the royal rota for one week or one month, paying out of pocket for press coverage with the “specialist media”, “grassroots media organizations and young, emerging journalists” and seeing what happened? If the experiment failed, then that gives him legitimate grounds to complain that the rota blacklisted him and more people would be sympathetic to the cause. But if the experiment was a success? Oh, man, it would’ve been the modern equivalent to Lord Altrincham’s recommendations to The Queen and Harry could have coasted on that for the rest of his life. Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now William will be the one to reform the press when the time comes, all because Harry freaked out at “do it yourself.”

(Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me. He and Meghan are so desperate for this ‘changemaker’ label yet when they were presented with the opportunity to do just that–albeit at their own expense–they bailed. How dare you -- spend my money on other people?! Meghan couldn’t have clutched Diana’s pearls any tighter.)

Palace relationships. I’ve said it in a few other places here, but Scobie’s book is largely about the relationships between the palaces and the media. There’s nothing really new here and it’s mostly an opportunity for Scobie to brag about how close he is to certain people and how much access he has for his reporting.

Scobie absolutely hates the team at Kensington Palace and the deeper into the book you read, the more it becomes apparent that he isn’t targeting William and Kate as much as he’s targeting the communications team that works for them. Christian Jones and Jason Knauf, to be more specific. Scobie doesn’t like how readily they appeared to do William’s bidding, how fiercely the palace protected them when Harry (and Scobie, remember, he likes to put himself in the middle of everything) called it out, and how freely they seemed to work the press for amiable coverage of William and Kate:

My proof of Kensington Palace's schemes at work wasn't just in the newspaper coverage. I also had close working relationships with Buckingham Palace aides and people on Harry and Meghan's team. Back in 2019, one of the Sussexes' main communication aides felt strongly that William's staff, led by press secretary Christian Jones, crossed a line with the mental health stories. One of the couple's team called me the moment the 'William's concerns for Harry' front pages dropped. 'It's pretty disgusting that they would pull out the mental health card for this...None of them care for his health,' the aide said. As Harry later shared, 'They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.' This wasn't Christian Jones's first rodeo, and he was just one of many at Kensington Palace who engaged in these tactics. William's private secretary Simon Case and communications secretary-turned-senior-advisor Jason Knauf also shared details with preferred reporters to quell rumors about the broken relationship between the Cambridges and the Sussexes. When William and Kate went to see Harry and Meghan after the birth of Archie, Jones made calls to a Mirror reporter and me to share an exclusive--the couple had just minutes ago stopped by for a special visit. 'It's a great story that shows that the the relationship isn't as bad as everyone makes out,' he said. 'It was really sweet.' What he failed to mention, as I later found out from Sussex sources, was that the couple's lukewarm drive-by lasted less than twenty minutes.

(Also, in what universe do the parents of a newborn baby want visitors and guests to stay for hours on end? Twenty minutes to check in on the new parents, deliver some food or a gift, and give the baby a cuddle sounds like an appropriate amount of time for visitors to be there.)

Scobie further goes on to describe how he thinks it’s hypocritical of William to be so manipulative and treacherous in how he uses the media to improve his reputation, particularly at Harry’s expense, because this is exactly what Charles and Camilla did to him and he had hated it. Scobie’s overall message seems to be that the more power William gets, the less “William” he is and the more “Palace” he becomes (similar to the argument he makes of Kate), and the more “Palace” he becomes, the more ruthless his communications team gets.

I mean, Scobie even goes so far as to say that William has gone so far into the Palace machinery that he's abandoned and discredited his mother in accordance with the preferred script:

The differences in the brothers' statements are stark. Both expressed understandable outrage over Bashir's duplicity and the BBC's moral and professional failures. But while Harry stopped to acknowledge and honor Diana's strengths, despite the whole faisco, William reinforced the counternarrative that his mother was paranoid at the time. While there is no duobt that William's rebuke came from a place of love, sources sexplained he was also keen to toe the company line without any concessions to what his mother said during the interview itself. To write his statement, William turned to a number of aides within the royal household, including former private secretary Simon Case, who had left a month earlier for his new role as cabinet secretary for then prime minister Boris Johnson. He embraced the institution's version that, because Diana was duped, the interview was null and void as a result--even if wha she said was completely in line with what she had previously expressed in Morton's book. By disparaging Bashir's trick and by extension the entire interview, William ended up discrediting a large part of his mother's own story. To make his points, he did not remind the public that his mother was candid and truthful, despite Bashir's dirty work, but, instead, maintaned the royal version that she was emotionally fragile and thus easily manipulated, and therefore her claims are not to be trusted.

Or maybe, Scobie, this is William’s own personal experience and recollection of his own mother. It’s well known that William had a very different relationship with Diana than Harry did, such that he already understood at the tender age of fourteen, just how complicated her life was and how complex a person was. And, t was recently revealed that William did actual work to understand who his mother actually was as a person, warts and all. He spoke with his family and with her friends and came to know Diana The Person, whereas Harry has only entrenched himself in his twelve-year-old “My mummy is better than yours” fantasy. 

Both versions of Diana – William’s reality that she was a complicated and complex person and Harry’s reality that she was a beloved idol – can be true. But to dismiss William’s truth as “Palace bullshit” because it doesn’t match the popular narrative as told by Harry is, frankly, poppycock.

Welp, that was a huge train derailment. Getting back to the point: Scobie doesn’t like Jones because of Jones’s relationship with Wootton and his readiness to speak William’s truth at Harry’s expense. (Which is also hypocritical because Scobie spends all of Endgame speaking Harry’s truth at William’s expense.) And Scobie thinks it is unethical for Jones to be openly friendly with Wootton.

But here’s the catch. When he was being interviewed for the job in 2019, Jones disclosed his friendship and working relationship to both Simon Case and William. Yet William still hired him anyway. And with that little nugget, it becomes very clear very quickly what one of Harry’s issues is: he’s butthurt he didn’t get to know of the pre-existing relationship between Jones and Wootton and wasn’t asked to weigh in on whether he should be hired.

Now, for Knauf. Well, I’ll let Scobie tell you himself how much he hates him.

Knauf continued to work in his role as chief executive of William and Kate's foundation for a few more months before stepping down to join the board of the foundation for William's Earthshot Prize. As a loyal aide, he stuck by William through it all, from helping brief the press long after his communications role ended, leading the bullying allegations against Meghan, and joining forces with the Mail in court. Unsurprisingly, a year later, King Charles included him on his list of those to receive the honorable title of lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order for his 'personal service to the monarchy.' Notably, this high honor is chosen by the royal family and not the government, and it was his pal the Prince of Wales who performed the investiture on May 10, 2023, at Windsor Castle. Knauf--a man who went above and beyond to protect the royal family's relationship with a British tabloid--emerged from this fiasco as a titled hero, the personification of duty above all. His dangerous dalliance with the media in the courtroom is all part of a job description you won't find on his LinkedIn profile and a soon-to-be forgotten footnote in a celebrated career.

Scobie’s angry that Knauf waded in on Meghan’s copyright lawsuit with the Daily Mail. After all, he didn’t have to come forward and there was no official request for his evidence or any palace evidence in her lawsuit. But he did, because “it was [William’s] opportunity to watch the institution strike back after Harry and Meghan went so public with private details about the Firm.”

So everything goes back to the all-powerful William and his newfound power to use the palace’s relationship with friendly press to suppress, control, and humiliate others.

Paradigm Shift. After the discussion on the royal rota, probably the most fascinating part of Scobie’s criticism of the media is something he glosses over: the paradigm shift as a result of the information revolution that changed palace strategies with public relations and communications. In the span of about 50 years, the BRF went from one centralized Palace staff to three companies of Palace staff. They went from one single royal brand using ten newspapers to nine competing royal brands using national newspapers, foreign publications, digital media, and special interest groups and two ghosts (Diana and The Queen) whose legacies shape the 21st century.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read that book than 300+ pages of background for Harry’s lawsuits.

Rehabilitating Harry. Scobie reveals the plan for how to rehabilitate Harry if/when the time comes: it's Operation PB, Mark Bolland's creation to rehabilitate Camilla for the public to (eventually) accept her as Charles's Queen.

A parting gift for making it all the way through: my very favorite quote.

Just five years ago, the thought of the Windsors becoming equal citizens without privileged status seemed unreal to most, but now that future doesn't seem as far-fetched. Harry and Meghan have already fled to real life, and, by the looks of it, they're not hurting for either money or status.

You sure about that, Scobie? You sure that Harry and Meghan aren’t hurting of money or status? Harry just flew 20 hours round-trip for a 12-minute meeting with his father to make sure his inheritance was still solid after offending everyone and burning all the bridges.

[lovewanxian]

Greatest treasure

I wanted to write some fluffy dragonji for the Chinese new year, especially considering it's the year of the dragon, so I cooked this up.

The morning after their wedding, Wei Wuxian wakes alone in a bed covered in a random collection of items, including several bunnies. He quickly learns that even the esteemed Hanguang-jun, his beloved Lan Zhan, isn't immune to the dragon instinct to hoard the things he loves.

Read it on Ao3 or below the cut

The morning after their wedding, Wei wuxian woke up sore but happy, nestled up in his many tails and the blankets of the bed. Therefore, it took him several long minutes before he realized that his newly minted husband, the love of his life, Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, was not in bed with him. 

“Ugh, what is it with Lans and not being able to sleep in, not even the morning after their wedding” , he grumbled. He squinted his eyes open against the sunlight filtering into the room and threw his arms out as he stretched. There was a solid thunk as his hand hit something hard and he paused in confusion. 

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes completely and turned his head only to see Wangji the guqin lying on the bed where Lan Zhan had slept the night before. Bichen laid just further past it on the bed, right next to Suibian. There were also several books of poetry on the bed, a lot of really lovely robes and blankets, some of the art Wei Wuxian himself had drawn of Lan Zhan, clusters of gentian flowers, a basket of loquats, a steaming teapot, the statue of a turtle Wei Wuxian had given him while they courted and … five bunnies. Several other lumps hidden by the blankets hinted at even more items being hidden in the bed. Wei Wuxian was surrounded by so many items on all sides that he couldn't twitch without knocking into something. 

Why the hell were all these things on the bed? And how had Lan Zhan managed to put them there without waking him up? Where was his husband? Nothing made any sense.

It took a lot of effort to sit up, not only because of the many things surrounding him, but also because his body still ached - in a very lovely way, but still, it was criminal that Lan Zhan wasn’t here to cater to his every whim when it was his fault. Absentmindedly, he pulled out one of the bunnies that had buried itself in his tails and petted it. He noticed then that Lan Zhan’s forehead ribbon was still tied to one of his wrists and a smile spread over his face. He let go of the bunny to trace the cloud pattern on it.

It still felt unreal that after everything that had happened - all the death and tragedy and misunderstandings - that not only had Wei Wuxian married Lan Zhan, he had married him in front of the entire Lan sect in an extravagant but tasteful wedding. It was too good to be true, and yet he had the proof of it around his wrist and in the room around him. His home with Lan Zhan. A giddy giggle escaped him. 

Right then, his sensitive fox ears caught the sound of multiple people walking up the path to the Jingshi. He assumed it was Lan Zhan with some servants in tow, hopefully for a bath as he still felt sticky, and smiled in excitement. 

The door opened and Lan Zhan stepped inside. His face was serene with a tiny smile spreading over his face when he saw that Wei Wuxian was awake. He was dressed in only three layers of robes and his forehead was scandalously bare and he was so beautiful Wei Wuxian could die happy. Wei Wuxian loved him so much. 

“Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian called out, beaming at his husband even as he tried to sound scolding. “You were so cruel, leaving me to wake all alone in our marriage bed. And putting so many strange things in …”

He trailed off as Lan Zhan stepped into the Jingshi, pulling two people after him that very much were not servants with a bath. The first one was Lan Sizhui, who cast one look at Wei Wuxian, sitting in bed and only barely covered by a red blanket with his love-bite covered chest out in the open, and blushed so red Wei Wuxian was concerned he would faint. The other person was Lan Xichen, whose smile looked distinctly strained and he wouldn't meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian shrieked and pulled the blanket up to cover himself, not caring for the crash it created as several items fell over. His face matched the red blankets. “What are you doing?”

There was no response. Instead, Lan Zhan continued into the room, pulling his brother and son with him. They struggled a little against his grip, but it was clear they had given up on resisting him some time ago. Lan Zhan walked straight up to the bed and Wei Wuxian shrieked again when he pushed Lan Sizhui and Lan Xichen into the bed. They sat themself down as far from Wei Wuxian as they could and just barely avoided crushing the many other things currently in the bed. 

Lan Zhan looked the bed over with a critical eye before nodding in satisfaction. Then he too crawled into the bed and pulled Wei Wuxian into his arms. Wei Wuxian scrambled to pull the blanket with him, lest he give his son and brother-in-law an(other) eyeful. He was pressed close to Lan Zhan’s front and could hear deep rumbles emitting from his chest. Lan Zhan’s dragon tail made a swishing sound as it dragged back and forth across the blankets in satisfaction. 

After several seconds of shocked, embarrassed silence, Wei Wuxian pulled back enough to look at Lan Xichen. The man was still not meeting his eyes. “Okay, someone explain what the fuck is happening right now. Not that I’m not happy to see you two, but why did Lan Zhan drag you into our bed? And all these other things! Why are the bunnies in our bed?”

Lan Xichen cleared his throat delicately. There was a red tint to his ears. “As you know, animal hybrids often take on … characteristics of their animal side.”

Boy did Wei Wuxian know that. He knew no one else that looked at worms like it was a delicious meal, and had never met someone who quite liked to dig in the earth as much as he did. Lan Qiren and Madam Yu - while she was still alive - had both yelled at him about mischievous fox spirits more than once. He also had a spot behind his ears that made him melt if scratched. 

Wei Wuxian knew that animal traits affected people, but what did that have to do with this? The Lans were dragons and as such were far too refined to display any such traits, unlike all lesser hybrid species. As the kings of the animal kingdom, Lans had long ago conquered such instincts. 

Or at least, so he had always presumed. 

“Are you telling me that Lan Zhan put a bunch of things in our bed because he’s a dragon?” he asked, skepticism dripping off his words. To his surprise, both Lan Xichen and Lan Sizhiu nodded. They didn’t elaborate. 

He turned back to his husband and poked him in the cheek until he opened his eyes and looked at him. His expression was blissed out - not dissimilar to how he had looked the night before and Wei Wuxian determinedly pushed those thoughts down considering the company. “Lan Zhan, why did you put all this in our bed?”

“Hoard”, he answered, humming happily. 

“Hoard?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Hoard of what ?”

“All my favorite things.”

It took him a second, looking around in confusion at all the items and the other two people in the bed. Then it hit him and he hid his face against Lan Zhan’s chest as blood rushed into his cheeks. His heart felt ready to burst from love. “Lan Zhaaaaan! You have to warn me first!”

“Mn”, he said, sounding smug and not at all like a person who would warn Wei Wuxian in the future. Wei Wuxian loved him so much. 

“But really, Lan Zhan, couldn't you have given me some warning that you would do this? A little shout out that you would be bringing your brother and our son into our room so I could at least have put on one layer before? Like, I love you and I love them, but this is awkward.”

“Oh”, Lan Zhan said, very quietly, and seemed to really see him for the first time since entering the room. In all his naked, love-bitten glory. His ears slowly turned red. 

Wei Wuxian gasped, half in delight, half in disbelief. “You forgot I’d be naked? I can’t believe you!”

“Baba … can you please stop talking about it?” Lan Sizhui said, his voice choked with mortification. His face was so red and in any other situation Wei Wuxian would tease him so much about it. 

“Sorry, A-Yuan”, he chuckled. “It’s just so ridiculous. Are all Lan dragons like this?”

Lan Xichen smiled kindly, but was still very much not looking at them. “I’m afraid so, though we are usually able to keep it under control once we get older. When we were young, Wangji and I would constantly hoard each other and every time we visited mother, we would bring things with us so we could hoard her too.”

“That is … so cute ”, Wei Wuxian squealed, imagining a chubby cheeked baby Lan Zhan piling toys on his mom and cuddling up to her with an equally chubby cheeked Lan Xichen. 

“When A-die’s adoption of me was finally made official, he put me in a hoard and wouldn't let me leave for three days”, Lan Sizhui laughed. Another squeal escaped Wei Wuxian as he thought of the small toddler A-Yuan had once been, bundled up in bed and surrounded by all the other things Lan Zhan loved.

“I had to do my sect work from a pile of bunnies”, Lan Xichen lamented, but his smile was widening. Lan Zhan let out a little put upon sound and there was a barely noticeable pout on his lips. 

“Oh?” Wei Wuxian grinned so hard his cheeks hurt. He poked Lan Zhan in the chest. “Lan Zhan, are you going to hoard me for three days too?”

“A week”, Lan Zhan said and though his voice lacked emotion, his arms tightened possessively around Wei Wuxian, making him laugh in delight. 

“And what about Xichen-gege and our sweet little radish? Are you going to hoard them too?”

“Hoard”, he agreed, very determinedly. 

Wei Wuxian stifled a snicker at the looks on said people’s faces. They looked like they had expected that answer yet dreaded it at the same time. It was very cute how willing they were to indulge Lan Zhan in his dragon tendencies. There was just one little problem. 

Shifting until his mouth was right next to Lan Zhan’s ear and whispering as quietly as he could, so the other two people in the room couldn't hear him, he said, “Then what about our everyday?”

Lan Zhan stiffened against him and a little gasp escaped his mouth. His grip turned bruising around Wei Wuxian and he purred in response, happy by the reaction he had enacted. “Sizhui, Xiongzhang, you can leave now.”

The two men startled, clearly surprised that Lan Zhan would let them go so quickly. Wei Wuxian winked at them from Lan Zhan’s arms and the color returned to their faces. They left the bed and hurried out of the Jingshi with none of their usual Lan grace. Wei Wuxian laughed after them and then some more when Lan Zhan pulled him in for a kiss. 

True to his word, Lan Zhan didn’t let him leave their bed for a week after that. Luckily, he had gathered quite the hoard of things around them. And the crown of them all was Wei Wuxian himself. He had never been happier being someone's greatest treasure.

[bingoboingobongo]

task force 141 + stocking stuffers

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Type: Fluff, headcanons

Warnings: none

A/N: gshshhshd posted part 2 to the right thing to do today and now im writing this to help the anxiety

kyle "gaz" garrick:

ok so i feel like gaz is a little bit of a nerd/geek

so he enjoys getting little figurines/action figures of characters from shows/movies/games he likes

think like funko pops

he likes to set them up along his desk in his room

and sometimes he pretends they're watching him while he works

his favorite candy to get in his stocking is peanut m&ms

he's just a fan of all kinds of peanut chocolate candies and i can't even blame him

peanut m&ms slap

in terms of getting things for other people

gaz always goes with a classic gift card

he will, however, make sure that the gift card matches with their favorite store

john price

price's favorite thing to get in his stocking is puzzle books

crossword puzzles, word searches, sudokus, riddles, etc.

anything and everything puzzle based he loves

he likes bringing them with him on missions when he has a spot of free time

they're relaxing to him and they keep his mind young

he's also insanely good at doing puzzles

but he's also had years and years of practice

he also got to go on npr and play the puzzle with weekend edition puzzle master will shortz a few years back

he also did really well and so now he never shuts up about it

whenever he pulls out his puzzle book it's followed by a comment about his time on npr

in terms of what he likes to get for other people he usually gets them candy

you know those plastic candy canes filled with different kinds of candy?

yeah price will buy like three of them for each team member and then call it a day

but of course he gets each team member their favorite candy

he also lets them get away with more stuff during the holidays

i.e. skipping chores, training, etc.

oh yeah i almost forgot this but price lives getting socks in his stocking

fuzzy socks, normal socks, thermal socks, patterned socks

he's really just a fan of socks in general

simon "ghost" riley:

ghost doesn't really have a favorite thing to get in his stocking

but his favorite thing is always whatever you get him

even if it's something stupid or small

one time you got him a customized pocket knife and he's kept it with him ever since

but usually he enjoys whatever little knick knacks people put in his stocking

and in general the stuff he gets are more practical then sentimental

and oml when it comes to things ghost gets for other people

ghost is actually insane at gift giving it's unreal

everything that everyone else likes? that's exactly what he gets them

part of it is because he's so observant he can always tell what people enjoy

and the other thing is that he's so good at reading people he knows exactly how they feel about the gifts they get

but like ghost is the kind of guy to get you smthing you mentioned back in january

and he always makes sure to get exactly what people want, even if it's super inconvenient for him

it's hard for ghost to be vulnerable and so giving these little stocking stuffers which are traditionally seen as sorta trivial lets him show everyone in the team just how much he loves them without making a big deal out of it

john "soap" mactavish:

ok before we get to soap's favorite stocking stuffers here's his least favorite stocking stuffer

soap

that's it

every year, everyone on the team gets him soap for his stocking stuffers

sometimes it's a bar of soap, sometimes it's three in one, one time someone got him a soap from lush (he actually really enjoyed it)

so every christmas season soap gets way too many soaps than he needs

usually he sends most of them to a local shelter and then keeps one for himself

now onto his favorite stocking stuffer

i feel like soap is actually an avid collector of lighters

but not normal lighters like novelty lighters

so like lighters with cool colored flames or cool shapes

everyone on the team knows about his collection so they're always on the lookout for cool lighters when they're on missions

so as a result he has a ton of lighters from like all over the world

i think the funniest thing is he doesn't even use them

sometimes he'll light a cigarette with them or fiddle with them but for the most part he keeps them in his room

he's very protective of them though and he doesn't let anyone use it without permission

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

rudy's favorite thing to get in his stocking is mini lego sets

and yes he like big lego sets for his actual gifts too

he's liked legos ever since he was a little kid so it only makes sense

he likes getting the mini holiday sets but he also likes getting those minifigure sets where you try and get all of the characters

he also composes a year long list every year of sets that he wants

he really likes the lego technic car sets too

in terms of what he gets other people

he'll usually make something homemade for them

like cookies or smthing

and then he makes key chain minifigures of them and puts them in their stockings

and they're like surprisingly accurate

it's very very cute

most team members keep them on their key rings or in their bags

he makes new ones every year and he'll even custom make faces and clothes to make them accurate

alejandro vargas:

alejandro's favorite thing to get in his stocking are hygiene products

i know that sounds weird but lemme explain

by hygiene products i mean grooming stuff, face masks, etc.

i feel like alejandro is the kind of guy who isn't scared to pamper himself and take care of his skin/body

so whenever christmas comes around he always asks for skin care/hair care stuff

he always tries to get the rest of the team to join him and he can usually get most of them on board

all of them except ghost of course

but soap, rudy, price, gaz, and him will always have a spa day/hair day after christmas

when it comes to getting other people stuff alejandro likes getting them skincare too

this way when they have their spa day everyone has facemasks and hair products, etc to use

nobody knows how but alejandro is actually really good at knowing what kind of skin everyone has

and he always gets them products aligned with their skin

but along with skincare he also gets everyone cash for the stockings

usually around $25-$35 for each person

[idkkkkkkk123lgb]

Us by gracie abrams & i miss you I'm sorry

Harry styles X reader

1 year ago

"Happy birthday hazza"

i say as i give him his gifts one of them a book a Robert bly book to be specific me and harry have been in a secret relationship for 10 months it felt like fate he was my person

"Thank you baby i love you" he said removing the bedsheets from himself and kissed me it felt unreal like it was too good to be true

Now

It had been 5 months since i last saw him i still have feelings for him always remembering the nights we'd talk about false prophets and profits he's turning 30 today it's funny how i was the love of his life but now I'm just a memory from when he was 29 years old it felt like something old to me he could've just read the book maybe it would've helped him become a man it all went downhill when the media figured out about us i begged and pleaded with him to speak up about it cause his fans would almost kill me but it turns out he was a coward i should just get over myself but who am i to fool? He was fucking perfect I'm just gonna get cake and a drink go to our spot and imagine celebrating his birthday with him

Harry pov :

Today is my birthday yet i dread it cause it reminds me of my last birthday that i spent with her that just 7 months after we were fighting in my old apartment with her breaking dishes cause she's disappointed at me everything i do reminds me of her and it fucking hurts i start remembering the place we called ours one day it was the top of a dessert shop not many people knew you were allowed to go up there it was so calm with soft music playing after answering a couple friends texts I decided to go there to feel a little calm

Your pov

As i arrived there i saw Harry's back sitting on edge where we'd always sit in i recognized him from the hair clip keeping his hair from his face and his rainbow cardigan that i got him as a part of his gift it's as if he felt my presence

"weird that after all this time we still think the same" he said with a chuckle

"Happy birthday harry" i said and he nodded not letting a word at

"do you still feel anything for me?" he asked

I stayed silent for a while before opening my mouth "i still love you.. I promise it's just that nothing happened in the way we wanted"

"i miss you... I'm sorry" he finally turned around looking at me before standing up and running to hug me as i cried in his shoulder

"I'm sorry please i won't be a coward anymore i love you and i don't want to let you go those 5 months.. I didn't feel like myself i tried but i couldn't if they found out again I'll protect you with everything i have please get back to me" he said with his voice shaking hugging me tighter as if if he let go I'd leave

"i got cake.. Ironically enough i got two pieces cause a part of me hoped you'd be here.. I love you too harry and i want us to start over"

He took that as permission cradling my face and kissing me passionately but that was just the start of our future

A/n

Soo how did i do?

[elliebellyboo]

Keeper of the Lost Cities: Forevermore (Chapter 2)

“Have you noticed Biana?” Dex asked Sophie as they walked in Foxfire together.

“I notice her a lot. Her sparkly clothes stand out.” Sophie smirked, hugging her books to her chest.

“Well, yeah. But she’s been acting…weird.” Dex whispered the last word.

Sophie thought about it. Biana had always been calculating. She could be difficult to read at times. But the youngest Vacker was one of Sophie’s closest friends, despite their tough past. 

“Maybe she’s nervous about Gisela or something?” Sophie suggested. 

“Isn’t everyone?” Dex sighed.

All her friends had, of course been shaken up by the recent events. Though, Biana wasn’t too involved. In fact, Sophie often worried that she felt left out. But Biana seemed…relieved. Relieved to not have been in the midst of everything. Sophie selfishly wished she could be in Biana’s place.

“I’m sure she’s alright. She always pulls through.” Sophie told him, “As Alden would say, “There’s no reason to worry.” She smiled, hoping the joke would make Dex lighten up a bit.

But Dex still had a worried look and his eyes as he replied, “I guess you’re right.”

Sophie sure hoped she was.

She didn’t want another one of her friends to be affected by everything.

“Well,” Sophie sighed, “I’ve got to get to alchemy. I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Bye.” Was all Dex told her. 

Weird. 

He didn’t even reminder her not to blow up the school, which was a classic.

When Sophie got to her alchemy class,

Her mentor told the class they would be making an elixir using Reekrods. 

“Ugh, seriously, I could do without the stink.” Stina scrunched her nose.

“Ms. Heks,” her Mentor said, “While some ingredients might be unconventional, they’re quite important.” 

Sadly, Sophie had to side with Stina. “What elixir are we making?” She asked.

“Brainrock. It’s important if someone were to be, let’s say, possessed.” Her mentor explained.

“Possessed?” Sophie’s eyes widened.

“Well, the nobility doesn’t think about possession too much. No elf has been possessed for years.” 

“Then why do we have to learn to make an elixir for it?” Stina wondered.

“With all the disruption in the Lost Cities lately..” he glanced at Sophie, “It is better to be prepared.”

“You think the Neverseen will posses somebody?” Sophie had to ask. Usually she tried to refrain from talking about the rebels at school. But she could use all the information she could get.

Her mentor turned paler and licked his lips.

“You…never know.” Was all he said.

A new threat.

Possession.

Sophie wondered what it would be like.

She’d seen how it looked from human movies. 

Creepy white eyes and levitation.

She thought it would be unreal. But who knows? So far, many things have proven to be true in the Lost Cities.

What if that was the power Lady Gisela would create? It sounded…dangerous. 

And Keefe’s mom screamed dangerous.

Stina must have noticed Sophie’s flood of worry because she asked, “You good, Foster?” Making her snap out of her thought train. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” Sophie said as the bell rang for transition.

“Well…” Stina slung her school bag over her shoulder, “Don’t think too hard, alright?” 

Sophie nodded, “I won’t.” 

But that really wasn’t a promise someone like her could make.

The first half of the school day dragged by slowly. Sophie spent most of her time in fluffy dreams and then fell asleep in Elvin History. Her face was so red with embarrassment after getting woken and scolded. And then on top of that, she hurt her ankle in PE.

When Sophie got to the healing center she asked Elwin about possession.

“Woah, haven’t heard about that in a while.” Elwin laughed. 

“Do you think Lady Gisela would use it?” Sophie asked.

“With her, you never know. But I wouldn’t bet on it. I feel like she would create something of her own. Not an old rebel tactic.” He theorized. 

“Yeah, probably.” Sophie agreed.

Elwin gave her some achey break and then some bottle of youth, and then let her go back to class.

Sophie’s ankle still hurt a bit as she walked down the hallway, but she ignored it. She had worse things to worry about than a sprained ankle. 

But right now, she just decided to focus on school and friends. That was one thing that would always stay the same, despite all the crazy change. And she sort of appreciated it. It was nice to have a comfort zone, especially when-

“You must be lost.” Said a familiar voice from behind. 

[mirjam-writes]

It's been a wild ride!

This week I'll start posting the final part of Be Still My Soul, my Good Omens Human AU that's set in Finnish history. It has been my first longfic, a trilogy with over 150k words combined. It's my baby, it has taught me so much, and brought me so many friends in the fandom. In the spring 2018 I participated in a live action roleplay series about the Finnish civil war, and dove deep into the research hell while preparing my character. I felt I wanted to write a story set to that period, and started plotting a Sherlock AU (my main fandom at the time). It didn’t quite fit, so I forgot about it for a while. 

In 2020 I read a book called Good Omens, and realised there is a TV series. I fell head-first into fandom hell. 

In summer 2021 I remembered the old story idea, and realised Aziraphale and Crowley fit to the narrative of opposite sides perfectly. During one long car drive I plotted the first outline for this story (mostly what would later become part 3). 

September 2021 I started writing. I decided to call Azirafel’s horse Milto, in the memory of a horse I knew in real life, who had just died. 

January 2022 I asked HKBlack to beta for me. I had the first story arc almost done (we didn’t call it a trilogy at that point), and told her the whole story would be 15 chapters long. Now, 32 chapters later, she will tease me about it forever. We become friends on the way! My writing was super clumsy back then, and she did a lot of work teaching me better English!

May 2022 I started posting the first part, and finished by Midsummer. 

October 2022 I started posting part 2 and finished by Christmas. That was the part that exploded the most, it was supposed to be five chapters long, and ended up being 14 because I severely miscalculated how much more historical context I needed to write in for an audience that isn’t Finnish.

In July 2023 (this week!!) I’ll start posting this final part—the story that I originally outlined on a piece of paper in a car two years ago. 

It feels unreal. Thank you for following my journey 🧡

[liesonthefloordramatically]

A wild 2023 recap post appears!

Stuff I made this year:

Fiction: Nope. Work continues to consume me.  I DID write like 33k that maybe will be publicly accessible in the future, but who can say.

Playlists: I think the only two I remembered to share were Oleander (a playlist for my Wickedness character) and the vast and the void (what it says on the tin).

RPGs: Also a nope.

Knitting: Made a shawl!  And a hat, technically, that I forgot to take pictures of.

Other stuff: Taught 5 classes, 4 of which were new preps!  Did fieldwork in Japan for the first time since 2019! Gave an hour-long talk in Japanese!  Presented on two conference panels!  Finished two academic book reviews! Survived somehow!  The period between August and December sort of doesn’t exist in my memory?  I was doing things but almost all of those things were work, so. The isolation has been wearing on me, but with the combination of A. not having any time to do anything other than work and B. for Various Reasons questioning whether I want to stay at this job, it's been really hard to build local community. I'm going to try to work on that next year, but also I'm going to have two new preps again in the fall and one of my spring classes is already overenrolled, so who knows how effective that'll be.

Media I enjoyed this year:

Books: I read 46 books this year apparently!  Top picks in no particular order: The Singing Hills Cycle (embarrassingly my jam), The Southern Reach Trilogy (shocking that it took me this long to read this), My Own Devices (even MORE shocking that it took me this long to read this), Imperial Radch (so AGGRESSIVELY my jam), She Who Became the Sun (this was a hilarious accompaniment to one of my fall classes), Camp Damascus (read this on a plane back from Japan which was An Experience), The Tale That Twines (loved the first book; the second book is even better), System Collapse (yeah, no one is surprised that I loved this).

TTRPG: Wickedness!  This was the only new TTRPG I played this year, but it was really good.

Video games: Mask of the Rose and Saltsea Chronicles, both of which I want to/should poke at more. Special nod to 13 Sentinels which we enjoyed 90% of a lot.

Manga/comics: I think the only thing I read was The JOJOLands?

Fanfic: I didn’t actually wind up reading that much fanfic this year again, in part because I was reading so many books.  A few picks, in no particular order: The Gardener (CR C2), Keys to the Castle (CR C2), Whistle Song (CR C2), pieces of (you) me (CR C2), Descriptions of a River Flowing (CR C2), Slip the Blindfold (CR C2), Heart to Heart (JJBA: JJL--PLEASE read this if you care about JJL at all), riverside beatitudes (JJBA: SDC), Fully formed, ready to run (ExU: Calamity).  Honorable mention to Asking for More (Stranger of Paradise), which is a WIP but made me laugh so hard I hit myself in the face with my phone.

Films: I actually watched like eight movies this year!  All but two of the new ones on a plane, to be fair, but.  Top picks: Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse and Shoplifters (『万引き家族』).  Honorary mention to Suzume.

TV: Finally finished Stone Ocean!  It was good!  Rowan and I are also like halfway through catching up on TGCF and it is also very good.

Podcasts:  Continued to listen to way too many of these.  Top picks: The Silt Verses, Trice Forgotten, Within the Wires (hey can we talk about the newest season? truly wild), and Re: Dracula.  Honorable mentions to The Evaporated: Gone with the Gods, 『なんかIWAKAN！』 (WHICH IS TRAGICALLY ENDING???? where am I supposed to get my chaotic Japanese gender and sexuality discussion now :(((((), Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later, Critical Role, and Worlds Beyond Number.

Music: Dessa's Bury the Lede was excellent, of course.  I also apparently listened to Maisie Peters' The Good Witch a lot (it was in my grading rotation in October). And then this past month there's been a lot of Hozier's Unreal Unearth. But a lot of my listening this year was either albums on the bus (rotating mainly between Quiet Company’s We Are All Where We Belong, Bury the Lede, yorushika’s entire discography that I can purchase, Wednesday Campanella, and various soundtracks) or putting something on loop and falling into a fugue state.  Apparently my top song of the year on Spotify was “Square One,” which I think I put on looping while grading in the spring.  My Spotify top songs list was even more inexplicable than usual this year.

Anyway, あけおめ！！！ 良いお年を！！！ (or else!!!!)

[bargainoriley]

Inside Out by Nick Mason chapter 5

Here are my fav moments from this chapter! So far this has to be the best chapter of the book: it has so many great moments and anecdotes!!

Damnnn… I can imagine how hard it must’ve been to coordinate all the orchestra musicians for AHM… I also just love how Ron Geesin is described in this chapter as this technical tape wizard that can edit and coordinate anything; I love it

This is all very interesting in my opinion! Especially the latter paragraph… also the way Nick roasts David’s lyrical abilities at the end omggg 💀 it’s clear on whose side he’s on…

The last anecdote is so funny to me! Screaming about a cow on the album cover… man, different times back then, weren’t they?

These are both such good anecdotes! Probably two of my favorites so far from this book; Nick witnessing Steve and Peter in drag is just so crazy and funny as well (I would love to see it honestly, I think they probably slayed hard). And also the anecdotes about Nick and Roger is so interesting as well!

David riding a motorcycle in the hotel; brilliant! 😂 I would love to see more anecdotes about crazy wagers like these (this anecdote really reminded me of Keith Moon honestly)

This whole story was so captivating to read… felt like a movie! The fact that their equipment came back so fast is really interesting!

This is such a good anecdote about One of These Days! Both about the Binson Echorec unit and the roadie not getting them new strings! Their road crew is clearly sabotaging them I swear to god…

Love both of these anecdotes as well: didn’t know that the song Fearless was named that way because of football (soccer)! Also the Seamus anecdote is simply hilarious 😂

People almost drowned at a Pink Floyd concert???? What?!?! Legitimately unreal anecdote here… this sounds made up… but it’s not…

Both of these anecdotes are so good as well! Especially the one about Japan (the sushi man as part of the crew is a really funny image that made me laugh)

The anecdote for flying made me feel really sorry and concerned for the band because flying is so much safer now than it was 50 years ago… they truly experienced the horrors of flying back then. Reading this also genuinely felt like a story, like, the amount of drama here is insane!

[penroseparticle]

9, 14, 18, 23

9. Best Month for you this year?

Oh boy. Uh. This is a tough one for me honestly. Not November. Not December. Not anything until maybe June at the earliest. I guess... September or August? I don't know, this year has been bad and time is fake. I feel like I can't remember anything about the last two years with any fidelity. It feels ephemeral- like I can hold only a small bit of it in my hands at a time, like it's a big ol' lake and I'm scooping time like water with my cupped hands.

I'll say August. I had a very chill birthday and it was nice.

14. Favorite Book You Read This Year?

I read "And Then I Woke Up" by Malcolm Devlin, which is ostensibly about conspiracy theory, far right rhetoric, and zombie apocalypse. But also, something they tell you about but you don't really internalize is that sometimes, after trying to kill yourself, you have these moments, these creeping doubts, this unreality, that maybe this isn't real. Maybe you succeeded. Maybe you are dead and this is the afterlife, or a death dream, or something equally outlandish but still very, very real to you. And this book had a lot to say about unreality in a way that spoke to me. I'm glad I read it. It was a quick read too, and I would recommend it.

Most of the time I know it's real. But there are days where it feels fake, and this book is a life preserver.

18. A Memorable Meal This Year?

Our holiday party for work had us take a cooking class, which I was a little irked by (I have to make my own dinner at a party for us to relax?), but it ended up being really fun. It was nice being able to show off my expertise (I was far and away the best pie, I chopped apples the fastest, I helped everyone at my table when they got lost or needed a hand, etc.), and we made Beef Wellington and Apple Pie, which was delicious. Plus, you know, I made it. It was good.

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of this year, what would it be?

Tell someone. Part of the insidious part of the depression was feeling like you couldn't tell anyone- like you couldn't show this ugly part of you, like you can't show the weakness. You're embarrassed. And then when you work past that you hit the apathy of "why bother saying anything". I had so many people in my corner. I had so many people worried about me. I didn't say anything. I'm still not saying anything enough. I need to tell people. I need to say how I'm feeling. Or you know, die trying.

[mioritic]

If they mean Romania, The Life and Opinions of Zacharias Lichter by Matei Călinescu is in translation through NYRB.

Thank you! I've never read Matei Călinescu's own work, just some of his translations of others'.

Assuming that person meant Romania (where I live, granted, but I'm not Romanian), list incoming, off the top of my head:

Some Romanian authors I like and who have been translated:

Max Blecher is wholly unpopular in Romania, and died at 28, so did not write a lot... but he is my favourite Romanian author (or maybe just author in general). He was from Botoșani, a Jewish writer who suffered from spinal tuberculosis, which his writing mostly reflects. Despite being seemingly-unknown here he is one of the few Romanian interwar authors that been translated into English. His Întâmplări din irealitatea imediată is excellent and has been translated multiple times — it is available on the Internet Archive as Adventures in Immediate Unreality (trans. Jeanie Han). Inimi cicatrizate is also great, a novelized account of his time in a tuberculosis sanatorium, and is available in English as Scarred Hearts. There is also a film by Radu Jude based mainly on this book (with other writings), although it is a bit abstracted from the text and has a subplot about the rise of Legionarism etc. The Czech press Twisted Spoon has been working to translate Blecher's other writings to English and print them in very beautiful editions, with The Illuminated Burrow released last year and Transparent Body forthcoming. Overall: very sickly writings, very physical, often revolting, maybe akin to Bruno Schulz... I like Blecher a lot.

Paul Celan probably counts, as he was from Cernăuți, but he is not very popular in Romania and mostly wrote in German. I don't know too much about translations of Celan but Poems of Paul Celan (trans. Michael Hamburger) seems like a good place to start for a bilingual edition, and there's Breathturn into Timestead (trans. Pierre Joris) for his later poetry. Celan's Romanian language poems have also been translated (with facing Romanian text) as Romanian Poems.

Benjamin Fondane / Fundoianu I have not yet read much of, but his writings are available in English: NYRB published some of his essays as Existential Monday, and an anthology of poems as Cinepoems and Others.

Mihail Sebastian has been translated several times. I find his novels a bit wandering and aimless — which may be because he was very good at losing his manuscripts — but his journals are a must-read (I read them twice a year and always find something new). For novels, Women (Femei) is available through Penguin or Other Press; For Two Thousand Years (De două mii de ani) is available through Penguin; and Aurora Metro published a translation of The Town with Acacia Trees (Orașul cu salcîmi) a couple of years ago.

Some of those old fascist poets like Lucian Blaga, Octavian Goga, etc. are available in translation. As is national poet Mihai Eminescu. They are all perfectly readable. I like Eminescu's poem "Copii eram noi amândoi..." — in fact, many of these poets you can probably understand even through Google Translate. I scanned/uploaded a nice Eminescu volume illustrated by Jules Perahim here.

Authors that I like that have *not* been translated (or poorly translated):

Ionel Teodoreanu, who writes a lot of frilly things about children in Moldova growing up and being very elegant and charming and entering relationships with older men and dying ("toate cărțile lui sunt despre minori care fac sex"). I liked Lorelei, and I'm worming my way through La Medeleni. The latter has actually been translated into English but not only is it hard to find, it's nearly unreadable, and the person who initially released the translation was charged with all sorts of heinous sex crimes in Romania - great. Teodoreanu is hard to read as a foreigner and likely hard to translate, but I find him charming. His wife, Ștefana Velisar Teodoreanu, was also a writer in her own right... I have a couple of her books, but have only read Ursitul (a book about her relationship with Ionel, which I enjoyed reading and was very funny, but also one of the most violently lustful things I have ever read.)

I liked Marin Preda's autobiographical Viața ca o pradă, which I have been chipping away at translating myself. He is one of the few post-WWII writers I have read.

Throwing out some other standard names, on the off-chance they might have been translated: Camil Petrescu, Cezar Petrescu, Gala Galaction, Tristan Tzara, Ion Creangă, I.L. Caragiale, Panaït Istrati, Geo Bogza, Tudor Arghezi, Mihail Sadoveanu, Cella Serghi... and so forth.

Authors that I read and didn't personally like, or have not read at all, but are available in translation:

Norman Manea was too "post-communist irony and grumbling" for me, but his Captives was recommended very strongly to me several years ago, and most of his work is available in English. Mircea Cărtărescu and Herta Müller are probably in this same category, and their books are everywhere (in English too) but I've never read either.

Mircea Eliade, better known for his writings on religion, but also a novelist. I read Youth Without Youth and other novellas (translated by the above-mentioned Matei Călinescu) a few years ago. I'm not sure if his other work has been translated into English (La țigănci - "With the Gypsy Girls", Maitreyi/La nuit Bengali - "Bengal Nights", Romanul adolescentului miop - "Novel of a myopic adolescent", Domnișoara Christina - "Miss Christina", Huliganii - "The Hooligans", are all probably popular enough to have been translated....?)

Emil Cioran is widely-read and widely-translated, if you like aphorisms about suicide.

Liviu Rebreanu has occasionally been translated, but I still have never read him in any language... unfortunately. Gabi Reigh recently translated Cuileandra, and it was published through Cadmus Press. His Ion is standard reading, but I'm not sure if it exists in English (...?!)

Eugène Ionesco is another standard name but admittedly I haven't read anything of his since ninth grade.

There are probably several I'm forgetting that I like to read... but maybe this is a starting point?

(I don't really know why the only Romanian writers who get translated are interwar Jewish authors that almost nobody cares about in this country, or post-communist writers.)

[reviewsbyliam]

“THE PRELUDE: ACT OF RECLAMATION” A LIVE SHOW BY OSÉ [SOLD OUT]

Headline Show Review - 09/12/2023

[Pictured below; Osé and band]

[Photographer: @bygideooon_ on Instagram]

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*DISCLAIMER* All photos and videos from this event are over on @reviewsbyliam on Instagram. Please head there after reading this article to witness the greatness that we did. Thank you and enjoy reading!

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I arrived in London on the 29th of November, suitcase in hand, 5 hour coach journey behind me and a now 45 minute Uber journey to Deptford. My boyfriend met me at the coach station, we spent the first evening just settling into the area, getting some food and having a few beverages (as you do), and then some well earned sleep after both travelling from separate parts of the UK.

Experiencing a day of being a tourist in London the next day was bewildering - I wanna live there now.. I'm definitely made for the big busy city life. We headed back to the hotel, and got ready to make our travels towards one of my long time internet friends first ever SOLD OUT DEBUT HEADLINE SHOW!!

The emotions were at an all time high, before we get into it though..

Here's a little backstory..

I've known Osé for 3/4 years now, first meeting on Twitter (now X) and forming a mutual connection through Ariana Grande and our overall love for music. I always knew that Osé loved to sing, I also knew that one day, he'd be on a stage somewhere giving it his all performing his music and not looking back - little did I know how real that thought would actually become.

Shortly after debuting this blog, Osé called me and told me the tear flowing news that was him booking his first ever headline show to debut his first new project. We screamed, laughed, I cried for him because I was so elated with pride, and then he asked me if I would join him in London, interview him as well as review his show, and help write the description for his event. I must've asked him several times if he was joking, following up with a loud !!YES!! and getting to planning..

Fast forward to the night of the show..

Entering the venue and the thought of not knowing what I was about to hear from Osé was anxiety inducing but extremely exciting nonetheless. I'd heard the music from his project prior to the show as he wanted me to be able to catch a feel of what was to come to help my own personal work, which was such a beautiful gesture. So I kind of knew the sounds of the night, but chose to not listen to them like they were the last songs on Earth so I could re-experience my first listen.

On stage before Osé was another uprising artist called Josh Pace, who was a very good musician to have before the main act as he drew the crowd in and the vocals were so raw. His bass tones were unreal.

After listening to Josh melt our ears, we mingled for a little while, grabbed a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, and then realised it was time..

I knew that when Osé took to the stage, it was going to become HIS world. We weren't here for us, we were here to witness a spectacle that can only be described as out of this universe.

Opening the show with an interlude describing who Osé is, some words being uplifting, some words describing Osé in a more vulnerable, judgmental light.. it was very honest and intriguing. The interlude interpreted that many people have things to say about Osé and his character, including himself, but nobody really knows the true him - hence the reclamation of his story.

Osé walks on stage, the room is flooded with screams, claps, hoots and hollers, he smiles and tries to take in the reception he has just received (which was extremely deserving) and starts to sing one of the most ICONIC songs of all time; Creep by Radiohead.

The raw power that exonerated from Osé’s vocal box was like watching a superhero find their power for the first time. The moment he opened his mouth, he was unstoppable, it was Osé’s time.

I just knew he was about to SMACK us in the jaw with this show after blowing us away with his rendition of Creep and my heart was racing, my knees were weak and I had a dry mouth. I was SO nervous for Osé, but one thing I noticed, Osé wasn’t nervous, because he was home.

Osé started singing his songs from his project, including one song that had a very personal meaning which Osé spoke to us about before he performed, allowing us to see that artists we listen to, admire and idolize are struggling with personal battles just like us. I wont be revealing the track names, because the project is still under review by Osé himself and this night was just about getting a feel for whats to come. But when the project is birthed, you'll see. The night was all about the people closest to Osé finding out why this project is in the works and how he is choosing to utilize it to expand his character and knowledge of the world, which in my eyes is a very safe choice to make as an upcoming artist because for you to do well, you have to make sure your work is cohesive and relatable, and that is what Osé's project embodies, truly.

The raw talent that exudes from Osé, whether its through speaking, writing, singing, anything - it is a talent to be acknowledged and afraid of. Osé's vocals were so strong, and the evidence of his ability to explore across genres is even stronger. We went from sad, to funk, to healing, to rocking out. Not to forget that the band which accompanied him on stage were well into their element also. The guy on the drums? I could've watched him go crazy for hours. And don't even get me started on the saxophone, we will be here for eternity.

Stage presence is a HUGE factor into an artists success, because nobody wants to see an artist just stand there on stage like a bowling pin and sing into a mic and then wave and walk off. Thank the Lord that wasn't the case for Osé. He walked onto that stage, announced himself, and just let his inhibitions go. When the crowd hyped him, it was like the funk spirit had taken over his soul and he just threw his hips like there was no tomorrow. He laughed, he jumped, he clapped, he cried but he also joked with the crowd and made it the most safest space I've ever had the pleasure of being in.

At the end of the night, Osé thanked everyone for attending his first sold out headline show, and had to halt a few tears (so did I, many times). I have never heard a room erupt into screams, whistles, chants, you name it, so loudly before. I was watching Osé on stage just taking in the love that he so righteously deserved, which made it a full circle moment for everyone involved. The gratitude displayed was immense and he truly and authentically cracked the egg of success and stepped into the rest of his life as a vocal powerhouse that night.

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Raw vocals, warming stage presence, immaculate band and organisation. Venue was cozy and made the vibe so much more intimate than it already was. Location was easy to find.

OVERALL REVIEW OF THE NIGHT: OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!

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If you're wondering whether to give Osé a chance when he next does a show, wonder no more because I'm here to tell you that it would be one of the biggest regrets of your life if you didn't attend a show of his or at least take a dive into his socials and hear the heaven that leaves his mouth when he sings. I have an upcoming interview to be released with Osé, and we discuss his early life, career, fears, and so SO much more. We dive into topics about the night too, and just have a good old catch up about how much Osé's life has changed since his sold out headline show. Keep an eye on my Instagram page for more details surrounding the release of that!

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A message to Osé: Thank you for coming into my life and showing me that being creative is okay, it's okay to be vulnerable and show it in your work, it's okay to struggle and share that with people because we are all human and deserve peace. I will be forever thankful for the opportunities you graced upon me surrounding this event and I will forever be in debt to you. You are one of the most intelligent humans I've come across, and watching you blossom as an artist and a friend is a blessing that I will never let go. Never give up on who you dream to be, because the ability that you hold within yourself to make that happen is a lot more stronger than you'll ever know. I love you and I'm forever proud of you! L x

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Thanks for reading! Photos and Videos from

“THE PRELUDE: ACT OF RECLAMATION” LIVE SHOW BY OSÈ

will be posted to my Instagram @reviewsbyliam !

Head over there and check them out!

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Written by Liam Wibberley

09/12/2023

LW

[wind-becomes-lightning]

was bored at work today, wrote some drabbels at the request of and for friends. ( Hawks x OC/ Kakashi x OC / Dabi x OC / Shibi X OC / Kakashi x Zabuza / Fatgum x OC / Kakashi x OC returns)

+++

Saya & Kakashi - Write about your ship waking up together. for @lemony-snickers

The first thing in his nose was an unfamiliar smell. Old wood, tatami floors, something that he’d stashed away into his memory from way back when he was young, before the world completely turned to darkness. So it wasn’t completely unfamiliar, but it was still new to the adult version of him.

Next thing he smelled was much more familiar to him, the scent of the woman that he had been sleeping next to for the last he didn’t even know how many months and years. He listened to her breathing and realized she was still asleep.

Kakashi cracked an eye open.

It took him a moment to realise where he was, the light in the room he was currently lodging in so very different than the light in Saya’s apartment he was used to seeing, but then he remembered. Ah yes, they moved in here yesterday.

He had once vouched that he’d never go back to this room, in this house. That he’d never live here again when it was full of memories and ghosts. Saya had changed a lot for him, one of them was that with her around him, he didn’t worry about being haunted anymore. If it was the two of them together, they would definitely weather the storm.

And so they had moved their little found family out here. It was quiet and spacious and enough nature for kids to play in. Kakashi worried the nightmares might come to bite him eventually, but no, Saya’s proximity kept them away, and he knew they would always keep them away.

Next to him, Saya stirred. Her eyes were already open, a sleep dazed look in her eyes. “Already thinking so much so early on?”, she asked, as if she could read what was going through his mind. She was a magician really, for knowing him so well.

“Good morning,” he replied without answering her question and pushed some rogue hair out of her face.

She rolled herself over closer to his arm. “Morning.” He watched her take a look around. “I somehow forgot that we moved here. The colour of the morning was a little confusing.”

“Happened to me too,” Kakashi admits and wraps an arm around her. “Especially with how hectic everything was yesterday, it seems almost unreal to live here again….” His thoughts trail off once more.

Saya presses a soft kiss against his arm: “Is that bad or good?”

If it weren’t Saya, if Kakashi had moved here with Gai alone just like that, maybe the answer would have been that he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not, but because it was with her it was incredibly easy. “It is a good thing, I am happy.” It feels almost wrong to say that out loud, but he knows it is true.

“I’m happy too,” she says to his delight. “I mean, this place is spacious, so I don’t see how anyone could be unhappy.”

“Ah so that is the reason you wanted to move here with me, for the space,” Kakashi laughs.

Saya winks at him: “And the books in the library.”

“Whatever,” he says and pinches her nose a little, “I don’t care what the reason was, as long as it means you’ll always be here in the morning.”

“Sappy,” she says and then buries her head into his chest.

[im-surviving-off-of-tea11]

oo thanks for the tag @bogreader !! idk which of my mutuals like to read so ill just do my best 😭 @graaaaaayy @glbtrx @manliest-of-muppets @aesthetjic

1) last book I read

the scourge by jennifer nielsen! my friend recommended it to me and was so kind as to let me borrow her copy

2) a book i recommend

anything tampora pierce, but i always especially loved her circle of magic series!

3) a book i couldn’t put down

ah, this goes to assassins quest by robin hobb!!

4) a book ive read more than twice

all for the game by nora sakavic. i reread the trilogy yearly. seriously. there’s crack in those books

5) a book on my tbr

interview with a vampire by anne rice! these were my moms favorites for a long time, so i want to read them for her :)

6) a book ive put down

…crime and punishment. i read like half of it, lost my place on my pdf, never finished. god can that bitch whine tho

7) a book on my wish list

a night sky with exit wounds!!! i ADORE ocean vuong <3 seriously his poems do something unreal to me. would love to own a physical copy!

8) a favorite book from childhood

inkheart trilogy by cornelia funke! easily one of my favorite series growing up. it continues to haunt me even now. so many memorable characters that continue to lurk in my life

9) a book you would give to a friend

ooo this one’s tough!! maybe radio silence by alice oseman? i read it last year, and i always end up liking her novels better than her comics, but yeah. i remember it being very good! most of my favorites are fantasy, but i feel bad telling ppl to read my favorite 800 page books with my blorbo

10) the most books i own in any one series

percy jackson LMFAO more specifically the riordanverse, but yeah. i had a bigggg phase, so I have the magnus chase files, some of the kane chronicles, percy’s guide to gods and mythology, the camp halfblood extra book thing, chalice of the gods, most of the trials of apollo series, and of course all of the original books (1-10)

11) a non fiction book i own

uh. idk if i have any 😭 does my guide to knitting count?

12) what am i currently reading

i keep my exoskeletons to myself by marisa crane! not sure if i like it yet, but not bad either

13) what are you planning on reading next

he who drowned the world by by shelley parker-chan ! been a while since i read the first one, but still excited