#i rarely include comments in a reblog but I have a lot of Thoughts on roseddie

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unraveled 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A curious man wanders into your dress shop with a lot of questions.

Characters: Sherlock Holmes (Cavill)

Note: I hope you all enjoy this random idea.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

One hand guides the fabric as the other turns the wheel. Your work is slow but steady, every stitch perfect, every seam precise. Your fare may be modest and your product simple, but its quality cannot be contested. Your labour as yourself is honest and plain.

The noise of the machine is your only company. The one-room shop nestled behind the butcher’s rarely sees a customer through its door. Instead, the orders are sent from the factories, returned with the printed adverts you disperse outside their doors. The writs are sent along with an envelope of pence and shilling and you complete each with equal diligence before sending them back bundled in paper and twine.

The operation isn’t especially fruitful but the profit is enough to subsist. Enough to guarantee your independence; a small apartment just above and a pot of stew to last you through each week. This humble existence is preferable to any marriage you’ve witnessed. 

The letters from your sisters reaffirm your spinster’s fate. You’d rather a hand wheel and a needle than a brood and broken back. A husband seems to provide several jobs at once, you’ll happily settle for one.

As your hands work from memory and your head wanders from tedium, the bell above the door gives a single sharp toll. You ease the wheel to a halt and leave the seam unfinished. You peer up above the black iron machine, reminding yourself to fix your hunch as a client enters. You can’t but wonder if he may have come to the wrong shop.

By his attire, he is a class above the factory women who require gray skirts and simple stays. His waistcoat is embroidered and his jacket is pressed and clean. He is tall, locks part tidily so his curls lay gracefully. His face is fresh-shaven, square jaw with a cleft, and shoulders broad and strong. He does not share the same sinewy gauntness as the labourers with the coal-dusted noses.

He carries a fine leather bag. Another clue to his status. His shoes, another. Polished and without creases.

You stand to greet him, “good afternoon, sir. Might I help you with something?”

His answer is not prompt. He takes in the finished dresses hung by the east wall and turns to examine the rolls of wool and cotton. At last, he returns his attention to you.

“Afternoon,” his deep timbre fills the small space, “you are the dressmaker.”

It isn’t a question, but you answer, “I am.”

He narrows his eyes as he approaches your desk, the sole fixture in the space. From without, the shop is just as bare. The blackened windows offer not insight into the business, its only suggestion the sign hung above the door, though the paint requires a fresh coat.

“And the shop owner?”

“That is me as well, sir,” you assert. The presumption is not uncommon.

“Ah,” he accepts your explanation without comment, “so, you will have sewn this.”

He puts his bag on the desk, nearly knocking your shears from the corner. You try not to flinch as they teeter near the edge and he pulls open the top of the leather bag. He pulls out a swath of grey. You recognise it and he rolls the cuff to show your initials sewn within.

“Sir,” you say precariously, “is there some issue with it? Is it your wife’s dress?”

“Wife? No, no,” he dismisses, feeling the fabric between his fingers, “rather I am in search of the dress’s owner. The initial must belong to them, yes? So you would have a name for the buyer.”

“Mm, no, those are mine,” you point at the letters, “as it is my handiwork.”

“That makes sense,” he frowns in disappointment. “So you wouldn’t know who would wear it?”

You rub your chapped lips together. You find your tongue sliding over them often when you work, turning them raw with the habit. The man’s lips are rosy and smooth, as well-kempt as the rest of him. He is no factory worker’s husband.

“I might… would you take it out?” You ask.

He obliges as you pluck up the metal cylinder from your desk and unfurl the tape measure from within. He shakes out the dress, holding it by the shoulders to reveal salt stains along the skirts and unleashing a dingy smell in the shop. You wiggle your nose at the stench but worse roils in from the butcher’s on hot days.

You take the measure of the sleeves and the waist, then to the hem. You scribble the numbers on a scrap and take that to compare with your ledger. The measurements are in now way defining but might narrow it down. He keeps the dress aloft and you return to him to check the thread along the seams. A few months ago, you changed the thickness as the factory workers complained of splits under the arms.

“Hm, it is a recent purchase,” you assure him and return to the ledge. 

He lowers the dress and approaches. You snap the book closed and turn your face up to consider him once more, “why do you need to know, if it is not your wife?”

“You are very discerning,” he remarks as he folds the dress and drapes it over his bag, “I’m certain then you can surmise the woman who wore this dress did not meet a kind fate.” He tugs up the hem and shows a tear trimmed in scarlet, the colour not obvious from a distance. “Holmes, Sherlock Holmes. I’m a detective and I’m trying to identify a poor woman found not far from here. I believe it is in your own interest that I discover her assailant.”

“I cannot say for certain which she is,” you turn over the scrap and re-open the ledger. You write down three names which match the measurements and hold the paper out to him. He takes it, his thick fingertips brushing yours. “Those are the ones which align with the dress.”

“Mm,” he hums as he tucks the paper into his chest pocket, “and your name? I couldn’t make it out on the sign.”

You recite your name flatly, “it isn’t on the sign.”

“It requires new paint,” he admonishes, “I could hardly find you.”

“I am aware,” you reply. “Thank you for noting.”

He’s quiet, “being a detective, however, I did indeed put together the clues.”

Is he making a joke? You cannot tell. He folds up the dress completely and puts it back in the leather bag. The smell persists.

“What are you prices?” He asks abruptly.

“Sir, I sew dresses for factory women, sometimes a few communion pieces, but I’m afraid I don’t do much suit work.”

“My sister requires a dress,” he sniffs, “as simple as it is, I can see your work is fine.”

“I have only wools and cottons,” you counter.

“Do you always turn away business?” He challenges.

“I wasn’t, sir, I’m only clarifying what I currently do. My prices are set for those fabrics,” you explain.

“I will pay for the muslin and velvet,” he waves his hand staunchly, “you will be paid for your labour. Can you sew with more than wool and cotton?”

“I can, sir, but you could find a ready-made dress in a market boutique if the dress is required promptly.”

“I can afford the time and coin,” he insists. “You are not a talented advertiser, are you?”

You’re taken aback by his bluntness. Often, his ilk have that demeanour. It’s why you’d rather the factory workers and the fish sellers’ wives.

“I suppose not,” you agree, “I would need measurements before I begin. You may send the numbers along with the fabric, then. And I would require a style. Perhaps your sister is a purveyor of fashion magazines?”

“I will send a messenger,” he shrugs. “Thank you for your time. I shan't get in your way any longer.”

“Good day, sir.”

“Good day to you,” he takes the bag from your desk and the shears fall to the floor with a clatter.

You skirt around to grab them as he bends and swipes them up first. You recoil as he closes the blades with a snap. He examines them before placing them back on the desk.

“Apologies,” he says, “and miss,” he looks at you, “take to heart what I’ve told you today. Keep away from the allies and perhaps you may consider locking your door.”

“Thank you, sir, your concern is appreciated.”

“Rather you might just keep those close, eh,” he points to the shears and his cheek dimples.

Again, you can’t be certain of his humour. You keep a placid expression, neither smiling nor scowling. He clears his throat and runs his hand down his jacket, gripping the lapel.

“Very well then, I’ll be off.”

He turns on his heel and marches to the door. You stay by the desk as the bell rings with his departure. Once the door closes, you cross the shop. You turn the lock into place, his foreboding lingering with the stale scent of dirty water.

🪡

Despite the unusual visit, your days roll on like a hand on a clock. The thought of the woman’s tragic fate looms like a shadow but fades. You have too much stitching to do to fret over that man and his ominous words. You assume his interest in your work thereafter was wholly feigned as he does not return.

That day, you pass off six parcels to Eustace, the driver who takes them down to the stacks to hand off to the floor bosses who will parse them out to the women they’ve been cut for. You pay him his toll before he climbs back into the seat of his cart, his horse kicking impatiently.

“Excuse me, sir,” another driver clops up along the other side of the street, a narrow squeeze between the slanting buildings. “I’m in search of a dressmaker. I believe the store is tucked behind the butcher’s and…” the man’s voice drifts off as his eyes flit to the meat sellers marquee.

“Right here, good sir,” Eustace responds, “wouldn’t ya know, she’s right here.”

You lift your chin to see past the cart and spy the driver. He removes his cap as his gaze meets yours. Eustache dips his chin as he adjusts his own hat and snaps his old mare into a canter. As you're left alone with the carriage driver, a vehicle rather lofty for a block like this, you fold your hands behind you.

“Sir, you hardly look in need of a work woman’s dress,” you say.

“Miss,” he ties the reins off and jumps down from his seat, “I am sent for you, not a dress.”

“For me?” You echo.

“Mr. Holmes has sent,” he crosses the muck and nearly slips. “He said he made an appointment for a seamstress.”

“An appointment? I wasn’t informed of the time,” you rebuff. “I’ve a shop to run, orders paid for. I can’t simply leave.”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Holmes made mention of a fee,” the man feels around his striped coat, “he said a deposit would be needed.”

He takes out a brown envelope and hands it over. You take it, a small weight within. You look at the driver before you pull back the flap and peek inside. A large gold sovereign sits in the corner of the paper; a whole pound. That’s at least three days work.

You hold your breath, trying to maintain some composure. If that’s the deposit, what is he offering for the rest? You slip out the folded paper within, a page torn from a fashion journal. The dress is elegant if not extravagant. You don’t often do off-the-shoulder or ruffles like that but it isn’t beyond your skill.

You fold the flap closed again and lift your chin to face the driver, “I must lock up, you see?”

“Take your time, miss,” he says kindly. “Mr. Holmes isn’t expecting you to hurry.”

“Thank you, sir,” you bow your head and turn away.

You measure your steps along the facade of the butcher’s shop and curl around to the alleyway. You let yourself into your shop and tuck the envelope into your apron pocket. You take your sewing bag from under the desk and shake off the dust. You don’t often have reason to use it.

You open it up and pack away your shears, a measuring tape, pins with a cushion, your notebook, and a few other bits and bobs. Just in case. You grab a role of linen from against the wall. It’s heavy but you can manage.

You take the key from your desk drawer and switch off the overhead light. You lock the door and continue back out to the street. The driver puffs smoke from a pipe as he waits.

“Miss, allow me,” he snuffs out the pipe and puts it in his pocket. He nears and reaches for the roll of linen.

“It’s quite alright, sir,” you say.

“I insist, miss, can’t have a lady doing all that,” he takes it, not forcefully, and you let him.

As he goes to the carriage and opens the door, you give pause. You don’t know if you should be so easily swayed on a gold coin. Mr. Holmes hadn’t been entirely pleasant and you do prefer your simple work. Still, you can hardly turn your nose up at a pound. Not with the summer fizzling to a finale.

You lift your skirts and cross the street to the open carriage, “sir, might I have a name?”

“Gavin,” he answers, “and I have yours. Mr. Holmes made sure of it.”

“Yes, very good,” you say as you approach, another sliver of doubt trickling through. Mr. Holmes claimed to be a detective but is that really the reason he was strolling around with a dead woman’s dress? You gulp and look at Gavin then the carriage, “might I keep the window open?”

“Surely you can,” he agrees amiably. “Mr. Holmes lives quite a ways, shouldn’t mind the air. I’ll be certain to stay away from the stacks.”

“Thank you, sir,” you accept his proffered hand and he helps you up into the carriage. 

You settle on the bench as the door shuts and you open the window from within. You lean back, your hand grasping the top of your bag. You unclasp it as you feel Gavin climb up on the driver’s seat. You dip your hand inside and clutch your long shears.

You don’t forget all of what Mr. Holmes said.

[joffyworld]

Hello Intrepid Viewer, and Welcome, Bienvenidos, مرحباً to the one and only:

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This blog operates on the assumption of an audience that is 18+. The topics at discussion in this blog will sometimes, though somewhat rarely, include mentions of sexual acts, frequent profanity and reflect the age of its creator, you have been warned.

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Probably in your reblogs or comments! He loves to spread joy and happiness wherever he goes and if he's commented under your works of art, writing or other content you produce, it is out of love for what you do!

What is Joffy?

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[forlornmelody]

I actually like the pining, will-they-won't-they trope, BUT there has to be a payoff. It works really well in a novel. I'd say it's harder to show in a 2-3 hour movie. But it's fucking impossible in a comic book/television show format, cause there's always that risk of the story getting canceled before we can get a satisfying ending.

I think this could have worked, had they not killed off Eddie while Rose was off dismantling super-powered fight clubs/cults/sex-trafficking rings.

Eddie you either need to tell Rose that you have feelings for her OR stop being so jealous of every male in her general orbit. Because you can't totally flounder in your feelings and then be mad that she's not waiting for you. Doesn't work that way.

[lakunalaika]

[‼️TW: This post is not sexual content itself however it talks about asexuality and thus also discusses sex.‼️]

Before pride month ends I want to talk about Transformers characters that are on the aroace spectrum!!

I want to clarify that since Cybertonians don't reproduce sexually that makes them all asexual in cannon!

...However the fandom still has a lot of different interpretations and headcannons. Some of these include procreation while others are robots being sexual for the sake of "fun" rather than biology. I personally feel VERY uncomfortable with the idea of sexual reproduction in transformers but fandom is fandom and I am well aware of how it ignores the cannon so this list is made with that in mind.

As for the aromantic part of this post....

Sadly none of those are actually cannon since the creators haven't said anything about it and it's never said out loud in the media these characters are from HOWEVER I feel like most of these are very heavily implied. If you're confused about labels please look them up!

Sorry this post only contains three characters, I'm writing this literally last minute before going to the airport lol. I feel like there are maybe some more that I've missed so you're welcome to comment or reblog if you want to add to the list!

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Shockwave: aromantic, asexual, could be aplatonic in some continuities.

I HAD to start with him. Speaks for itself really, if you're in the fandom you're probably familiar with how little emotion Shockwave expresses in general. Sadly though most people either see him as a completely emotionless monster or make him the super ooc :( He has no interest in sex or romance and some versions of him do not care for platonic bonds either.

The fandom sadly does not understand this, I'm not completely against him being shipped with other characters I just wish it was written properly and with his sexual/romantic orientation in mind. I feel like there's some interesting queer platonic lab partner shipping potential here but again this fandom is terrible at not sexualising him for some reason.

He does show care for others in SOME continuities, in Cyberverse we see that he used to be friends with Wheeljack and possibly some other characters. He does have emotions, even in other shows/media, we see him get visibly angry in TFP and Earthspark. So just saying that he doesn't feel anything is a straight up lie. He follows logic although we do see him make non logical choices when influenced by emotions, it's rare but it has happened.

I'm planning to make more content about him and being aroace spec soon. I want to show people that just because you don't feel forms of attraction or love towards others doesn't mean you're completely heartless. And yes I know an extremely stereotypical evil robot probably isn't the best character to use to prove a point like this but I just need people to stop mischaracterising him.

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Shadowstriker: aromantic, asexual.

[most of this is refering to her in Cyberverse, thought I do mention IDW briefly]

What is it with clearly aroace female characters, usually villains, and being called masc lesbians? No offence to lesbians but please y'all let us have some representation. Sorry pooks she doesn't want a girl, she doesn't want anyone actually. Which doesn't mean she doesn't value friendship, just look at how she interacts with Soundwave and Lazerbeak! That's found family if I've ever seen it!

I think she's someone who struggles a lot with emotions and intimacy just in general, though we do actually see her emotions slipping through the "mask" more towards the end of the show, even being happy [thought it was quite bittersweet] and part of a group hug in the last episode. Well done her for actually accepting physical touch that isn't punching someone in the face! She's a very untrusting character who tends to assume the worst in everyone and is really aggressive for most of the show. She has absolutely no interest in romance or sex and is probably apothisexual/apothiromantic. But as previously stated I think platonic love is really important to her. She's the type of person who would kill for her found family, in fact considering she's a Decepticon she probably has.

She's one of those extremely interesting and emotionally complex characters and yet somehow she's always overlooked. I see people talking about wanting more well written female characters and HERE SHE IS! Honestly I'd recommend watching Cyberverse even if you're just doing it for her, it's worth it. I could write a whole essay all about her. Can y'all tell she's my favourite? Because she is.

As for shipping I do like the idea of her being in a queer platonic ship with Flamewar and Slipstream in the IDW comics they're in, though again, I don't think people know how to write qp relationships...

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TFP Soundwave: demiromantic, asexual.

This one is only specific to one continuity and that's Transformers Prime. Not saying other versions aren't on the spectrum, I have a quite couple headcannons, though I feel they might be a bit ooc/self indulgent so I'm not including them since I'm trying to keep this list as "likely to be cannon" as I can.

In the show he doesn't speak and doesn't really have a face so he doesn't really express himself a lot. Though he still definitely shows emotion, just, differently I guess? He is uninterested in sex, I think he could be in a romantic relationship but it would have to be someone he's already emotionally attached to. Platonic love is extremely important to him but specifically his cassettes, they're his family. Others however.... I feel like he doesn't really care for a lot of the characters in the show but then again he doesn't show emotions much so he could just be hiding it.

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[reigningqueenofwords]

Fucks

I've been trying to work on my mental health and shit lately. Part of that includes doing a reread of a few books I own: Unfuck Yourself, the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and You Are a Badass.

Not getting into detail about all of them, but one main point of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is actually choosing what to give a fuck about. It's not saying be an indifferent asshole. It's saying that you need to make your fucks count. Like, do you really need to give a fuck that some guy online thinks you're weird? Not really. There's no point. But should you give a fuck about that weird thing your back has been doing? Probably. See what I'm saying?

My entire life I've given too many fucks about shit that I have no need to give a fuck about. What's that gotten me? Anxiety. A lot of fucking anxiety.

Last night, as I cuddled Xena in bed, I was thinking this over.

And I realized...I am not going to give a fuck about my writing anymore. I'm not going to stress over it. I get so worked up about getting work out that I get writer's block. I get so worked out to keep updating things ASAP. And why? For 4 likes, MAYBE a reblog, and the rare comment? "Write because you love it!" Because I know I'll hear that tired ass line. You know what? That's only part of it. You know what I love? Honestly (because one thing I will keep giving a fuck about is honest, but like...being totally honest), the validation. I love when people interact with my work. I love when I put something I worked on out where and people go bonkers over it. Why would I keep giving a fuck when I post it and get...crickets?

I'm not saying I'm quitting, either. I'm simply just choosing to write when the mood hits. No more sitting here and going "I need to write 500 words by tonight". I'll still update fics that are already written, though. That takes no fucks and no efforts lmao

I had another thought, but I have other things to do. And, frankly...I'd rather go do those things.

Also, rewatching Supernatural for the millionth time. I think the boys would be proud of me for choosing to not stress over silly shit. :)

[jackobbit]

Hey folks, sorry about having to be a bit serious but somethings made me a bit uncomfy recently, so I thought I’d just be transparent about that real quick.

An old post I made back in April depicting my AU’s Bloodmoon in a bunny suit is making the rounds again, and it’s going around a crowd I’m not super comfortable seeing reblog and engaging with it. Namely, minors and RP blogs that I can also only assume are also minors.

I understand that simply wearing a bunny suit isn’t inherently suggestive. But it does have a suggestive history and context behind it, which is why I tagged it the way I did. I thought that the tags would deter a younger crowd but unfortunately it doesn’t seem like that was the case.

I’m considering taking that picture as well as the matching Solar Flare picture down too. I don’t want to have to do that but I refuse to let it stay up if people keep tagging other minors to see it. Unfortunately, Tumblr doesn’t have a system where I can just boot followers or other folks who are below a certain age so it’s much harder to control who sees what.

I’m asking yall to please be considerate of what you reblog and tag someone in if it does happen to be suggestive and tagged as such. Lots of people did a wonderful job of including the content warnings in the tags of their own reblogs but unfortunately it still slipped through the cracks.

I do not believe that I will be making any further art of a such a nature going forward unless it is on a platform where I can control who sees it. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to see minors engaging with such works right next to comments other people have made under it that are also of a suggestive nature.

I thought I’d simply speak about this first before I make any solid decisions, such as taking the posts down or imposing an age limit on my blog alla DNI. My usual content and artwork is not suggestive, and it’s very rare for me to create something like that to begin with, but I don’t want this to happen again. I’d even wager to say that my art shouldn’t be consumed by anyone under a certain age bracket anyways on account of my swearing and some topics depicted and such.

A lot is still up in the air regarding this topic, but again, I just wanted to speak about it first before anything is super final regarding it.

[gardenerian]

I know you've been on Shameless and Gallavich tumblr for a while and I was hoping you could give me some advice. I hope this doesn't sound too pathetic.

I'm a massive Shameless and Gallavich fan. I have been here for nearly a year and I feel very excluded. I really want to connect with the others in this community, but it's not working no matter what I try. I don't write, draw, make art or create gifs. I don't have any creations to offer and share. I know those types of things would get me some attention and for people to notice and interact with me. I like and reblog a lot of other people's posts daily. I leave comments on people's posts as often as I can to praise their work or to share my thoughts but I rarely get any responses from the person. I post random Shameless and Gallavich thoughts and head-cannons with tags but they rarely get many likes and no one ever comments to strike up conversation. I take part in the tag games and tag others, but week after week never get tagged to participate, but I participate anyway. Still, I never get comments on the stuff that I share about myself to let others get to know me. I have tried sending ask to people about things they have posted to strike up conversation, but I either never get a response or it's a one time response that doesn't go anywhere after that.

I suppose the gist is that I keep trying to strike up conversations to connect with the people in this community and it falls flat every time. I'm simply at the point where it makes me sad to come on here and to see how tight-knit this community is and how much you all interact with each other, hype each other's posts and make posts for and mentioning each other like on birthdays. I know you are part of an especially close group so it seems like you might be just the person to ask.

I'm not writing this as a complaint or to accuse anyone of anything. It's the opposite. I want to join in in this community and feel included. I want to no longer feel sad and ignored when I am on here trying to participate and interact. Like I said, I don't write or make art so do you have any tips about how I can get noticed and accepted into this community? I just want to make friends with all of you and finally feel a part of this community.

hi there 😭 i am so sorry you're feeling this way. wanting to connect is such a human thing, and it's not pathetic at all to reach out. i think it's great. so thank you for coming to chat with me about it, and i hope i can help ❤️

excluding people is never something i want to do. i want to engage fully and enthusiastically - i think we all do! and while there are so many ways to get involved, i do think engagement around here (on tumblr as a whole!) is different than it used to be. for me personally, i was on tumblr 24/7 for a long time, but now that i am working again, it's a little harder for me to be present as much as i want! it comes and goes in waves, really. sometimes i am tagged in things that i don't get to, sometimes i forget to respond to asks, sometimes i miss posts that go around during busy times. and sometimes i think i'm following people when i'm not! this happens to me a lot and it's super embarrassing 😭 and i think these kinds of things happen to just about everyone! sometimes we just can't be here the way we want, even if we love it. and we do love it! so much!

i'm glad you're participating! and i want to make sure that everyone knows that making or posting things is not a requirement to be here. there's no entry fee to enjoy fandom space. if you want to give it a try, please do! but you don't owe us anything; your presence is more than enough.

for me the answer was just to keep talking. i wish i had more direct tips, but i just have not shut up since 2019. people started talking back, but for a while it did feel like i was just talking to myself. i know you've been putting yourself out there, and it's really brave and wonderful. i hope you'll keep trying. there are people that will love you, and i'm sorry if i've missed you so far. i don't want you to feel sad here. if you feel comfortable, shoot me a DM! tag me in things! i will hype you up, i promise. i want to hear what you have to say, and i want to get to know you. there are friends here for you 💓 edit: join the discord if you can!

anyone else with tips is welcome to chime in.

[cyborg-franky]

Happy New Year!

Another year passes and I am still here. Ups and downs and all that kinda thing, I don't have an event in mind this year because the last two months have been a struggle in my personal life but I do wish you all a great evening/day of celebration or just vibing and chilling.

From Jan till now I would keep track of how many words I wrote and this year I have written a total of 403, 974!

My top written/requested chars have been:

Ace: 198

Marco: 136

Thatch: 53

Law: 51

Sabo: 35

Wow I wrote a lot of Ace and Marco... I intend to write even more!

I've had the great joy of taking part in many zines as staff and as a contributor. I have gotten to take part and run such lovely and fun events and be part of this awesome fandom. I've made some amazing friends and known some wonderfully talented people.

I even got to cosplay Marco and Ace and I never ever thought I'd have the confidence to cosplay Ace, he's been a dream cosplay of mine.

Not everything has staid the same, things and people change but that is life ya know?

Thank you for all the love and support and the likes and reblogs and the comments and messages and interactions. I love you all and sorry I have been a little.. away recently [You will see undercut]

I have many things I want to do going forward in the new year and I hope everyone has a great time and I hope 2023 is a better and softer year for us all. I'm a rabbit in the Chinese zodiac and 2023 is the year of the Rabbit so I am hoping things just got a little nicer and a little better for us.

First sample is The Memory Of Colour

Second sample is The Captains Dead

TW: medical stuff

My mental health had been bad for awhile, feeling I wasn't a good writer, a good person or a good friend. Just feeling like I didn't have the energy to keep up with all my friends and interactions because I was so tired all the time. I had issues with feeling like friendships were like balloons and I couldn't keep ahold of the strings as they all drifted away. I still feel like... I have been somewhat replaced or that I am a burden because of various things including my health.

Which leads me to my next comment. After convention I went to the doctors and I got diagnosed with a rare type of illness that had potential life threatening.. complications.

We still don't know if the treatment I am undergoing will help or not, it's something we have to wait on. But it's been a really hard few months for me and my partners.

Sometimes I am not able to walk due to the illness, sleeping is hard and I am always tired and I never know if I'm tired because of one of the many medications I am on or the illness or my mental health but it's been a struggle.

I am dealing with chemo therapy [It's not Cancer] once a week and it takes alot out of me. I have been in and out of hospital with the illness and I've been taking like 100 fucking blood tests.

I don't know if I am getting better or not right now. I have to drink so much water and eat so much meat as part of my treatment. I've been completely left high and dry with my mental health and it's just been.... a mess.

It's been a long and hard few months and I think I needed to tell you all what has been really going on with me.

But I love you all and I hope it'll all pass.

[batmans-cheerleader]

discountenance

includes: jason & damian

wc: 2k | rated t | m.list | cross-posted on ao3

warnings: emotional baggage, child abuse, drug usage, addiction, neglect, mommy issues, disrespect of boundaries, angst, hurt/comfort

a/n: hey so this is a) not talia bashing and i will not accept talia bashers in the comments b) reflective of my experiences with my mother and not the end all be all for how the parent-child relationships are in batman nor how they should be dealt with in real life

please reblog!

“Hey, Squirt.”

“Todd, don’t call me such demeaning names. Did Grayson send you in here?”

Jason snorts, sitting on the edge of Damian’s bed. “Obviously. He was worried about you.”

“I am perfectly fine,” Damian sniffs.

“Tell that to the judge,” Jason cracks, raising his eyebrows. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

After a long moment, Damian shifts, looking down. “My mother and I had a fight.” 

Jason looks over at Dick, whose eyes reflect the confusion he feels. Damian had just stomped past them, slamming to door to his room shut in an uncharacteristically loud manner. What had happened? Neither Bruce nor Tim were at the manor, which eliminated the most likely causes.

Dick sighs, standing. “I should go see if he’s alright.” 

“You sure he doesn’t need some time to cool off?” Jason questions, and Dick shrugs. 

“Only one way to know. I’d rather ask him than just assume he does when he really wants to talk to someone.” 

“There you go again, being all mature and shit,” Jason snorts. “Hopefully he doesn’t bite your head off.” 

Dick dissapears down the hall, and Jason returns his attention to his book. Well, tries to, anyway. Despite his flippant attitude, he really is a little concerned about the kid. It’d been a while since he’d had an outburst like that (oh, the joys of teenage puberty) and though Jason likes Damian’s firecracker personality more than he lets on, it’s rare for him to be set off so suddenly, without a trigger. 

A known trigger, that is. Maybe he and Superboy had fought? Look, Jason's really wracking his brain here. 

Straining his ears, Jason tries to detect yelling or the sound of Dick’s return, but doesn’t hear either. A good sign, he supposes. Means Dickiebird’s got it all in hand.

A few more minutes go by, and right when Jason’s getting back into his novel, he heard Damian’s door open. 

“Everything alright in there?” he asks Dick, whose lips are pressed together thinly. “Wait, don’t answer that. I can already tell it’s not. What’s going on?”

Dick scrubs a hand across his face. “I guess he and Talia fought. He’s really upset, and I can’t really help him. He needs advice right now, not just a listening ear.” 

“And why can’t you help him?” Jason asks, putting his book down. “I thought Richard Grayson was an expert in fighting with one’s parents.” 

“Asshole.” Dick rolls his eyes. “Regardless of the issues Bruce and I have had, I don’t exactly have a lot of experience in the ‘mother’ department. Damian needs someone who does.” 

It doesn’t take long for Jason to put the pieces together. “Oh, hell no! You want me to talk to him about mommy issues? No fucking way!” 

“I can’t force you to do anything, and if you don’t want to think about that trauma, that’s totally valid. But I think out of all of us in the mansion right now, you’ve got the best chance at being able to empathize. And you’ve also spent time with Talia, which might be helpful.” 

“How upset is he?” Jason asks eventually, and Dick grimaces. 

“It’s pretty bad.” 

“Fuck. Fine. Don’t say I’m not a good older brother, alright?” 

“Jay, nobody says that. You’re a great older brother.” Dick just looks so earnest. 

“It was a joke. Anyway, does he need time? Or can I go in there now?”

“You can head in now. But Jason, seriously, if you think talking about this will hurt you or bring up bad memories you don’t have to do it.” 

“Please, you worry too much. But I appreciate it,” he adds after a beat. “Now let me go do my thing.” 

Knocking on Damian’s door, he waits until he hears a muffled ‘you may enter’ from the depths of the room. Shutting the door behind him gently, he takes in Damian, who’s sitting at his desk, a scowl on his face. 

“Hey, Squirt.” 

“Todd, don’t call me such demeaning names. Did Grayson send you in here?” 

Jason snorts, sitting on the edge of Damian’s bed. “Obviously. He was worried about you.” 

“I am perfectly fine,” Damian sniffs. 

“Tell that to the judge,” Jason cracks, raising his eyebrows. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” 

After a long moment, Damian shifts, looking down. “My mother and I had a fight.” 

“You and Talia? About what, if you feel like sharing.” And look, Jason may not be the best at the whole big brother thing, but as Robin, he’d gotten lots of experience talking to other kids or those he helped, so he at least kind of knows what to do. Shoutout to Bruce, for drilling the victim checklist into his head. 

Damian shifts uncomfortably. “Well… she is being unreasonable. And not listening to me.” 

That sounds like Talia. Jason has his own opinions of her, separate from Damian, but even in her best of days, she can be stubborn and disrespectful of boundaries.

“I just wanted to have a nice, insincere conversation with her,” Damian continues, “but she began speaking ill of Father. And speaking of Grandfather. I’ve asked her before to please not do such things, and I asked her again today, but instead of listening, she merely dismissed me and continued on.” 

“That must have been tough,” Jason says, “but hey, kudos on telling her that. Your mom can be kind of a hard person to say that stuff to.” 

Damian inclines his head slightly. “Sometimes I don’t like talking to her that much.” He hesitates. “Sometimes I don’t think I like her very much. Does that make me a bad son?” 

The rare and open vulnerability on Damian’s face makes Jason’s chest hurt. 

“No, Damian. Not at all. Those are perfectly valid feelings to have.” 

“They are? But I feel like I’m betraying her. I mean, she’s my mother! Shouldn’t I love and respect her regardless of what she says or does?” 

“No healthy relationship works like that,” Jason begins, choosing his words carefully. “Believe it or not, I struggle with the same thing.” 

“With Father?” 

Jason chuckles. “With my own mom.” 

This gives Damian pause. “Your mother?” 

Jason nods. “I don’t speak of her often, so you probably don’t know very much about her, now do you?” 

“Didn’t she turn you over to the Joker?” 

Jason makes a face. “Not her. That woman will never be my mother. No, Catherine, the woman who raised me from birth.” 

Damian is silent, and Jason takes that as a sign to go on. 

“Before I was taken in by Bruce, before I was out on the street fending for myself, I lived with my mom. My dad wasn’t really around, since he was in jail a lot, and so it was just her and I for a lot of my childhood. But just because we were together, doesn’t mean she was there, you know? Catherine had a real bad drug addiction and most of my memories involve her being high or drunk, or both, to be honest.” Jason sighs. “Someone struggling with that level of addiction can’t take care of themselves, let along a young child. So I was neglected pretty badly, and also forced to take care of her in various ways. I went hungry, without power or water, and even without decent clothes during my growthspurts.” 

“I knew you grew up in Crime Alley, however…” 

Jason smiles ruefully. “Yeah, it’s pretty bad, isn’t it? You’d think that would be grounds for hating her or resenting her, and believe me, I do, but I can also remember times before she was addicted to drugs, or the few times she’d tried to get clean, and those memories are some of the best times of my life. We’d do things together, I’d have someone who’d take care of me, for once I didn’t have to worry about everything. But those moments didn’t last long, because she could never quite kick it. I still struggle with my feeling about her, because like you said, she’s my mom! How can I hate her? But how can I look past the things she did to me, to her, to our family during the times she was high or mentally unwell? It’s really difficult and something I still struggle with today.” 

“So there’s no fix?” Damian’s tone is raw. “I’m always going to struggle with this?”

“I didn’t say that. There’s no easy fix, at least not in my experience, but it’s something you don’t have to have figured out right this moment. It’s something you can change your mind about when you want and how you want. Talia is a good woman, and I know you love her, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to her speak about Bruce, or Ra’s, or whatever. You’re allowed to get mad at her, to hang up on you, to tell her your own opinion and ask that she respects it. And if she doesn’t, you’re allowed to tell her that you don’t want to talk to her until she does, or that she’s pissing you off.” 

Damian’s fists clench where they rest on his desk. “I hate this,” he says. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to deal with this. It’s not fair that I had to have the childhood I had, or that I have to be the one to set these boundaries. She’s the adult!” 

“You’re right,” Jason says. God, he can remember thinking the exact same thing. “It’s not fair. It’s fucking stupid, and kid, I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this. You can deal with it as much as you want or as little as you want right now, and if you want to talk about it, I’m always here, and so is Dick. Or we could even get you set up wth someone on the outside that’s probably a hellova lot better at these types of talks than I am.” 

“What, like a psychologist?” 

“A therapist, yes. I’ve never told anyone this, not even Bruce, but I’ve spoken to one on and off over the years and she’s been really helpful as I work through all of my issues. Do you know Black Canary?” 

“That’s who you speak to?” 

“It is,” Jason confirms. “And you also don’t have to make a decision right now about any of this either. You can sit with it and think about what you want to do. I’m not trying to pressure you into picking a path right this very second.” 

Damian nods. He doesn’t seem completely opposed to speaking with Dinah, which is a pro in Jason’s books. Lord knows their family needs more people willing to ask for help when they need it (though Jaosn can’t really be talking). 

“I’m still upset with my mother,” Damian says eventually. “I do not understand why she cannot simply respect my words.”

“And that’s fine. You can be upset with her. For as long and as much as you want. And sometimes, people have a hard time listening to others, especially when they think they’re right. Your mother is very headstrong, and while that serves her well, it can also make it hard to work with her on an interpersonal level. And I’m not even experiencing the mother-son dynamic you have to navigate.” 

Damian is silent for a long moment, so Jason leans forward. 

“Do you want to talk about it more, or talk about anything else? I can also stop bothering you if that’s what you want too.” 

Pushing himself away from his desk, Damian stands. “I do not wish to speak of it any longer. I want to think.” He turns hopeful eyes to Jason. “And I would also like a hot chocolate from the bakery on fifth and third.” 

Jason chuckles, shaking his head. He’ll let Damian milk it for once. The kid deserves it. “You know what? Hot chocolate sounds perfect. We should probably take Dick though, make him pay.” And assuage his worries before he gets an ulcer , Jason thinks privately.

“If we must,” Damian sighs. “But if he must come, then I also get a pastry. And to use you as a shield to block his hugs.” 

“Brat, we both know you don’t mind his physical displays of affection as much as you claim.” 

“Do not call me ‘brat’!” 

Jason grins, pulling Damin’s door open. “Squirt it is, then.” 

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[misc-obeyme]

🪿anon here Hey hello! I thought I put in another ask before the one you replied to, but I think tumblr ate it somewhere between you and me. So sorry about the confusion, you didn't miss me at all. Your reply was lovely and I loved reading about your headcanons, especially how Mammon would totally biff people with his wings. Ask game time tho! 🦈 What is the character you have the hardest time writing? And as a bonus, if you're up for it: 💛 What's an impactful lesson you've learned about writing? I'm a fellow (and often struggling) writer and I love hearing what other people have to share, especially in the fandom space. Honks and hisses! 🪿

Ahhh okay, that explains it! Tumblr has been known to eat asks on occasion! Phew, I'm glad I didn't miss you! I'll go ahead and add your emoji to the list now!! Ah, I'm glad you liked my reply too I felt bad that it was so lengthy lol.

🦈 What is the character you have the hardest time writing?

Siiiiigh it's Levi. I'm much better with him now than I used to be, but I really struggled with him for a long time. His anxiety really reminded me of myself irl, so I had a hard time separating the anxiety of his character from my own. And this was an issue for me because it messed with my characterization of him.

I also struggle with Mammon sometimes. This is because I think the fandom's version of him and the canon version of him are different. So my brain is always flip flopping between them when doing his characterization. And I was so worried about writing him OOC that I would just kinda... not write for him much at all? But then I kinda reconciled it by deciding I was going to write my version of him and just own it! LOL.

💛 What's an impactful lesson you've learned about writing?

Ohh an interesting question! I would say the understanding that there is no "right" way to write a story. You get to decide what works for you. Even if a lot of other writers swear by doing this one thing, you only need to do it if it actually helps you. Otherwise, chuck it!

Specifically to fandom things, though, I would also add that having fun is the most important thing. How other people react to your writing is not an indication of how good it is. Things like how active a fandom is, how popular a ship is (if you're writing a ship), how many people are looking for this specific genre (e.g. fluff, angst, etc), all of that is going to impact how people react to what you wrote. You might have written the most exquisite novel length fic ever, but if it's about something not a lot of people are interested in, you might get only a handful of comments/reblogs/likes etc.

So the important thing to focus on for fanfic is how you feel about writing it. Write things you enjoy, write for yourself. You're spending a lot of time and effort and energy on that story. Make sure it's one that you're proud of, no matter how people respond to it.

I'm writing Arsenios's story and it's been such an amazing experience. I absolutely love it and I'm throwing my whole heart & soul into it. But OC stuff rarely has the same engagement as canon. So when I finally start posting it, I won't be surprised if it doesn't do very well, especially compared to some of my other stuff.

But the thing is, it won't matter. I'm writing that story because I love it, because it's fun, because it makes me happy. So how well it does or doesn't do won't impact the experience I got out of writing it.

OOF sorry to ramble so much, but I hope that makes some sense! I just think people get too hung up on numbers and things (myself included lol) when really that's not the thing that matters most!

Ahaha but I could write about writing all day... I guess it's my special interest. :)

Anyway, thank you for asking!

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[randomfoggytiger]

Also curious about 9 and 21... :)

Thanks for dropping back back in! :DDDDD

9. Hmmmm, no unfinished fics; but I have a few free-floating metas around. Two? three? that are for the randomfoggytiger Christmas presents. And, actually, I might have one in my drafts that I forgot about. (Drafts are mostly filled with fic lists and a sentence or two to flesh out later.)

21. Quite a few! ;))) I treasure each tag and I treasure the repeat readers or viewers who like my work and I treasure the rare drop-in. All have their advantages, and all are the spice of life~.

However, my specific, prominent memories were a bit long; so I had to include a cut.

You replying to each and every one of my HTGSC meta posts with an enthusiastic gif really, really made the work I put into that series worth it and more. I looked forward to putting out each post and running to the tags to read you and @baronessblixen and @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure comments (all of which I treasure); and I'd even include sections or points I thought would be particularly interesting for the three of you to come across organically as you read. ;)))

The support behind my first "Musical" X-Files episode edit was so kind that I pop them open to reread occasionally; and it was @baronessblixen's enthusiasm for the section where Scully walks in and the music softly changes that gave me the extra push to work on the next one--TINH: Scully's Solo-- which I believe is my favorite despite its inadequate lip sync at times (that song gets me every time.) Not to mention she and @demon-fetal-harvest left the first two (of three) comments that still make me tear up, mainly because it was such a rewarding moment for an editingfoggytiger.

I've already said every single comment on "Son of Egypt" because it was my first fic and everyone I tagged piled on and left something so, so wonderful in the reblogs; but ALSO every single comment on "The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully". The first fic was a shoot-from-the-hip, the second was more "planned"; and I couldn't be more awed and thrilled that both were so well-received.

Specific fic moments that meant a lot (because I'll do an overview sometime before the New Year, I've just decided): @baronessblixen loving the banter in my longer, bantery fics ("Time Passing in Moments" and "Something Approaching a Normal Life" and "I Think He's a Hard Kid to Love"), which is my favorite style to write; @agent-troi crying a little over "The Dead Are Everywhere, Scully", and tagging "naughty naughty puffball" (which I quote in unhealthy doses) on my AU Queequeg fic ("Regardless of His Actions Last Night"); @amplifyme's poignant encouragement as I flexed my writing muscle (and that my Krycek fic was one of her reblogs~); @perpetually-weirdening and @baronessblixen enjoying the comedy I didn't know I'd written into "How Much You're Like Ahab"; @nachosncheezies's tags on "My Religious Convictions Are Hardly the Issue Here" making me feel like a peacock; and @xxsksxxx and @tossingmyglossymane and @stephy-gold and @wexleresque (and agent-troi and you!) enjoying how all their prompts turned out~. (And every single comment on “Kids Today, Huh?” because it was out of my canon wheelhouse and I worked hard to maintain their more mature relationship while sidestepping IWTB and Revival requirements.)

And I just wrapped up Eight Nights of Mulder-- my second fic event (and first personally created event! with friends!)-- with fics I'd written the previous month; and, though their style was a bit wonky for my norm (weird writer things that happen), they turned out alright, I think. The comments on Day 2 (and the not-Hanukkah wedding swan getting broken) were a highlight, ngl. ;)))

And that's that! XDDD It was long; but I had a lot to say, apparently.

Drop in anytime; and thanks, again, for the ask! :DDD

[trans-axolotl]

This post is getting a ton of reblogs all of a sudden, so I thought I'd share some more info and address a lot of things people are saying in the comments.

Anytime advocates criticize 988 or other crisis hotlines, I always see a lot of crisis line workers come online to say "We only call the cops in really severe situations! You have to be actively harming yourself/have a plan/tell us that you're actively suicidal! We rarely call the cops, as long as you don't tell us you're suicidal you'll be fine!"

And I think that is a misleading statement that is ignorant at best, and actively harmful at worst. It's true that according to 988's stated policy, counselors should only call the police when someone has a "desire and intent to die and has the capability of carrying through on this intent." However, 988 has a huge transparency issue--this one investigation found that there was a Houston call center where 65% of their calls to law enforcement were unnecessary. Many survivors can tell you of stories where we called the line, said that we were safe, did not have a plan, and were not going to attempt, and still got the cops called on us. I once called the lifeline, expressed that I was having a hard night but was not at all suicidal, and then ended the call, only to wake up to cops banging on my door. There really is not oversight about this--counselors are encouraged to loop in law enforcement and emergency services if they think it's necessary, which leaves a lot of room for individual counselors and centers to make their own decisions. Survivors know that there are many, many circumstances where cops are called against their own policies--we've lived it, and no one listens when we speak up about it. Even without the data, we know that this is happening.

Furthermore, even if individual call centers have better policies and are strict about only calling in cases of actual suicide attempts, there are plenty of centers that do not strictly follow policies and call law enforcement frequently. When you call 988, there is no guarantee which call center you'll get routed to. Even though it's supposed to be the local center to you, if that center is busy, you will get rerouted to one of the national overflow centers. There is no way to accurately assess the risk of getting the cops on you when you have no way of knowing what center you'll get routed to, their internal policies, and their oversight process. And yet, there is almost no transparency, and this information is not made available to people unless they spend time going through the website and privacy policy. This goes against everything in the Crisis Caller's Bill of Rights, and does not treat suicidal people with the respect, transparency, and compassion that we deserve.

A lot of advocates and researchers I've spoken to think that the statistic that "only 2% of Lifeline calls involve law enforcement" is an understatement. Requests for more specific data through freedom of information acts have been hard to accomplish. Even if it is only 2% of calls, according to this data that would be 100,000 calls involving law enforcement per year. That's over 270 crisis calls with the cops per day. That is an incredibly high number, representing really serious risks to the people calling for support. These articles talk about some of the harms, including instances of police murder after cops became involved, arrest, involuntary hospitalization, and more. Suicidal people deserve much better: we deserve care that enables us to access support we need and that respects our autonomy, instead of care that actively endangers our wellbeing.

overall, if you work at a crisis line, I really think that you need to reevaluate what your role is and confront the ways you are complicit in an oppressive and carceral system. If you want to do any type of ethical work within the system, you need to be able to grapple with the harms of the system, and listen to what suicidal people say about the best ways to support us. Calling the cops on any of your suicidal clients actively endangers us: we deserve systems of care that don't come armed with guns and the power to incarcerate us. Reacting defensively to survivors pointing out the very real harms we've experienced will not help suicidal people access care and support. It creates more barriers and further traumatizes us.

for anyone who wants to learn more about mad pride and liberatory antipsychiatry, check out my mad liberation tag, especially this post about alternatives to psych hospitalization.

i wish more people were aware the vast majority of crisis lines have the power to call the police and will call the police on you if you express that you’re suicidal because i see crisis lines being spread all the time in leftist spaces but most people don’t add the information about police and i think that can be really dangerous. it’s fucked up that crisis lines can do that and i really fucking hate it and i wish that it was more widespread knowledge so that people could make informed choices about the resources they access. 

[telenovelameta]

woo let's go. new blog! created this mostly so i dont spam my main with stuff most gringos haven't even heard about lol

so as anyone who's talked to me for 2 minutes irl knows... i watch a lot of novelas. like a lot. specially when working all-nighters... i usually get through a lot of storylines pretty quickly (i can hit 20+ episodes in a night easy, healthy? idk... but there's just something about melodrama that hits The Right Chemicals in my brain, esp during Deadline Crunch Time). but, i'm usually someone that likes to analyze and criticize the stuff i watch, and it's usually pretty frustrating to not have anywhere to put those thoughts (besides the after mentioned off-topic spam on main), i also feel this medium is kinda under-scrutinized, even by "professional critics" (who are usually, tbh, pretty baseline in their analysis), so, hence this blog. expect takes / opinions / analysis just general comments on novelas i'm currently watching. maybe some gifsets reblogs here and there when i catch those rare fish, maybe some fanart if im really in the mood... in general tho i'm extremely busy w/ other projects (fandom projects included) so expect this blog to be rlly informal and "train of thought"- ish. sorta like ur personal broadcast of my internal monologue from injecting 200+ hours of melodrama into the brain. .... so, what to expect? currently i'm going through: 1- a viagem (the 90s globo remake, am at chapter 61 of 167)

2- totalmente demais (have about 10 eps to finish)

3- bom suceso (about 30 eps to finish i think?) 4- alem da ilusao (i was following this day-to-day when it was airing but kinda lost interest in the last month, i'm looking to finish it at some point though) --- there's 3 novelas that live rent free in my head and i will probably post about sporadically as well: i've also been doing an on-and-off rewatch of senhora do destino (third one, this time with my mom), we're on episode 90 or so I believe. it's been about 2 years of a rewatch tho so lol may take at least another 3. besides that, some n i'm part of the team of @floricientasubbed , and am always translating and analyzing the eps of floricienta. mostly the new takes i get while doing that are kept on our discord, but if there's a worthy enough idea to share, i'll put it here. i'm also working on a long-term sequel project (fan comic format) to cheias de charme, which i may also post about from time to time. --- in the future im looking to watch some venezuelan ones... and maybe rewatch las aparicio (maybe after reading dona flor y sus dos maridos? i feel in first watch i missed some of that literary context). i have more brazilian stuff in the queue as well, but i would like to switch it up a bit after finishing the ones i'm currently going through. well, that's it for now! back to the proverbial tube...

[blkkizzat]

I've been following your blog for a while now, and I hope this isn't weird to ask but I think you may have the best answer since you're an amazing writer. My friend has been taking down their works and giving up on telling others they even write fics because they feel no one likes their writing. They think this because when they ask for feedback it's silence. They keep comparing themselves to other writers and I feel bad they don't believe they're a great writer. As a writer did you ever have these feelings or do you have them now at certain times? I just want to be a good friend and motivate them to keep writing.

Oh wow. Well first, thank you so much! That really makes me happy you 1) like my writing so much but 2) even coming to me with this question!

(this is a long reply sorry lol but two parts, advice for friend and then my own personal insecurities)

Advice for your friend:

First, who your friend is asking? Are they asking on their blog or to a group chat or dms to others? Even though it shouldn't seem like it asking for feedback on your blog is probably the worst way. People rarely even reblog nowadays so asking them to take the time to comment and give something meaningful isn't likely going to happen (also people could feel shy too!).

However, I would tell your friend to reach out to people who regularly interact with their content the most and ask them if they would beta read or provide feedback. It may seem a bit intimidating to ask especially if they don't know them but if the person is liking their content that much I'm sure they would be flattered at the ask. Or start interacting with other writers more whose work they do like. I wouldn't ask right off the back for tips and feedback but if they begin chatting with them regularly and become mutuals then it'd be okay to then ask. A lot of writers, myself included, love talking about writing.

But at the end of the day tell your friend to write for their own satisfaction in their own perspective. My thing is if it don't make me, cry, laugh, horny or any of the main emotions I want to feel while writing it I keep working on it. It's my fic and I can't get anyone to feel an emotion if I don't feel it when I am writing/reading it back. Thats also what gets me out of my funk cause I tell myself I will continue to work on it until i do like it.

I'm not saying here to not care about interactions (cause everyone wants feedback) but to just write until you personally feel good about it and to be honest about when that is. You will feel a lot better about the work you do put out when you write for your preferences alone and I feel more people respond to that as well. Even when taking requests, sure people are asking for something but at the end of the day they are asking for your version of it still. People don't want to read you trying to be someone else they want to read you! Think of it like this. Never doubt your idea. Your plot is rarely the problem because we all end up recycling similar ideas, nothing is revolutionary here. As far as technical skill you can improve your writing by being more descriptive, using a variety of different words (use word lists for smut/feeliings/etc), and tapping more into how the characters are feeling in the moment. About my insecurities:

I feel like its natural to be your own worst critic and I am definitely mine. You are never going to view yourself or your work as others view it which is a shame because I feel like people wouldn't struggle so much with insecurities if they could honestly tap into others true thoughts of them at will.

About mid-fic is where I notoriously hate every single fic I write and have to will myself to push through to finish it. I love writing but working on one story at a time can be fatiguing so I tend to work on multiple. That way if I am stuck and hating something, I can hop to another and give my brain a break as I am usually overthinking it/too deep in it and need to step back.

I honestly don't compare the quality of my work to others as I do like my style as much as the frequency of work I do. I am a very slow writer and I write in a very non linear fashion where I write sections and then weave them together and then comb over them 3-4 times before moving on to the next part and jump around. It stuns me how some writers say they never re-read their work because I will reread 10x times tweaking things here and there until my OCD is satisfied and I'm happy with it. I definitely get envious of writers who can just pump out quality fics like hot cakes and post multiple times a week. I'm lucky to get 1-2 done in a month haha. Especially frustrating when I have a ton of ideas (like almost 30 fic ideas currently) I'm dying to write and like 5+ half written fics cause I keep jumping around lol. To top it off I'm more of a descriptive writer so a fic being under 5k to me is a miracle lol.

I love reading others fanfics too (what inspired me to write in the first place!) but sometimes I have feel guilty and not been able to really enjoy because I'm like "I'm reading these when I could be writing mine and i have like 10 requests sitting in my inbox on top of that lol."

Clearly I'm long winded af cause I did not mean for this to be this long either lol. But I hope you got something from this that can help your friend. Keep being encouraging to them! I'm glad they have you in their corner!

[ghostoftheyear]

AO3 Wrapped 2023

Rather than attempt to reblog this (or wait and hope for asks), I just decided to fill out this whole thing. Was pretty fun.

How many words have you written this year? 38,232 (that's the published count, not sure what the WIP count looks like)

How many works did you publish this year? 5 (I'm counting "secure yourself" even though I started posting it in 2022)

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Honestly, probably "secure yourself", even though it has its issues. The fact I've managed to get so much written on it makes me happy. Second place is "worthy".

What work of yours has the most hits? "melting of snow" with 768, go off you funky little minkao fans

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? None of them, really. I have learned not to expect any feedback at all anymore, and I rarely get it.

Favorite title you used I love "secure yourself to heaven" because every lyric from the song, which is by the Indigo Girls, works for the fic.

If you use song lyrics, which artist's songs did you pull from the most? Not applicable.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Koujaku/Aoba barely wins with 2 fics, "thank u, next" and "secure yourself". Three if you count "Old Enough", but that includes all the other Aoba pairings, too.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Koujaku/Aoba will never not be my DMMd OTP. I always love writing them and always will.

What work was the quickest to write? I guess "melting of snow" because it's a fairly short PWP and for a change, the sex was quick to write as well.

What work took you the longest to write? Seeing as it's still incomplete (but hopefully not for much lnger), "secure yourself". It's taken over two years, actually, as I started writing it in October of 2021.

How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? Counting only the active ones, 8. Some are more active than others. There are still a few I have in reserve as well, but just haven't had the motivation to work on in a long time.

What's your longest work of the year? "secure yourself", currently at 27,072 words (ooh, palindromic!)

What's your shortest work of the year? "melting of snow" at 1,380 words

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? um, all of them? (perhaps I don't understand the question; do people traditionally abandon their WIPs because of an arbitrary date change?)

What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag? I tend to tag according to content, I don't like rambling in tags.

Your favorite character to write this year? uhhhhhhhhhhh I guess maybe Camus/the White Devil just because he has an interesting thought process I don't usually tackle.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? I don't feel like any of them really gave me trouble.

What's one pairing you want to explore next year? I really could not tell you. I've already got a variety on my WIP plate.

Which work of yours have you reread the most? From this year? "secure yourself", just because I needed to keep a lot of stuff forward in my mind as I went.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 164

Which work has the most comments? "melting of snow", you horny bastards

Did you do any collaborative works this year? Nope.

Did you write any gifts this year? No, for the first time in a while.

Did you receive any gifts this year? No.

What's your most common category? m/m (lbr I barely ever write anything else)

What do you listen to while writing? Nothing. Music with lyrics messes up my writerbrain, so it's usually just silence interspersed with occasional cat screams.

Favorite work you wrote this year? Didn't I answer this already?

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? There's a couple lines from "worthy" I'm particularly pleased with still: when Camus observes that Malraux "kisses as fiercely as he fights", and then "At this moment, Camus thinks he might be wasted as a cook, too." Also, Mink in "melting of snow": "He never thought he'd have the ability, let alone the opportunity, to be gentle again. He can't help but revel in it a little."

Biggest surprise while writing this year? The fact that I was able to sustain the writing on "secure yourself" despite only having one person really be interested in it. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader. It felt like a bit of a stepping stone for me as a writer.

[gt-jar]

So I'm kinda late, but I wanted to add my two cents.

Is it true that g/t art receives more attention than g/t writing?

Yes, absolutely.

But as stated in other comments and reblogs already that is a problem a lot of fandoms suffer from, and why that is the case has been said many times already as well.

I just want to talk about my general feelings regarding this matter.

I know as a writer this can be very frustrating, I get it, sometimes I get a little frustrated as well. But then I think about how the g/t community as a whole works.

We are a bunch of people, who may all like g/t, but all in a different/unique way.

All of us like g/t for very different reasons or like different aspects of it.

Take my personal favorite - parental g/t - as an example.

I love this trope!

But only if the giant is adopting the tiny. If it's the other way around it sparks little to no joy for me...

And that goes for other tropes/scenarios as well.

Just because someone includes a trope you love in some kind of way, doesn't mean you'll love the finished product (I don't really wanna call a piece of writing a product, but you get what I mean...)

There are a lot of other reasons for you not wanting to read a story (even though it includes one of your favorite tropes, even though the author has amazing writing skills, etc.)

As for myself, I'm a very picky reader in general. I have a lot of pet peeves that will diminish my desire to read a story.

For example:

- pov (god how much I hate the 1st person pov)

- female characters (I can't explain this, because I don't have an explanation, but I just don't like to read about female characters. And if I do everything else of the story has to align with my personal preferences. I'll show you an example during gtwac) <- that alone rules out like over 60% of the g/t writing for me.

- too many characters or subplots (part of the reason why you'll never see me read a normal book)

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Many of you might have such a list. And that's absolutely okay.

You don't have to read/like a story just because it's g/t.

That's why I rarely suggest my own story to anyone (and because I don't like to advertise my own stuff, even though the people asked for it).

I lost count on how many times I saw people saying that they would like to see more platonic/familial/found family stuff in the g/t community, and every time I sit there and think "...that's exactly what all my writing is about", but then I think of my list and think my content might not be what they are looking for.

What I'm saying is, this kind of stuff doesn't really bother me personally.

But what bums me out is the little interaction I receive from my readers.

I couldn't care less about likes, but I loooooooooove getting comments and reblogs with tags. I could go on and on about how much I love reading them. They literally make my day.

Same goes for ask. There a people who receive tons of ask about their characters/storys, often just simple questions or silly little thoughts. And that's so freaking awesome.

Just.... writer/reader interactions!

If do love a story, then SHOW IT!!!!!!

So there is that.

To end this on a more positive note, there is something that always makes me feel better.

Let's say 20 people like your story.

Do you realize how many people that are? Imagine all those people irl. In school that would have been all of my class mates. Absolutely crazy!

And don't forget about the silent readers or those without a tumblr acc you don't even know about.

But at the end of the day I like to think of that one person, that smiled because I posted a new chapter, that might have had a shitty day so far and their day is slightly less shitty, because of me, that waited patiently in the shadows and is excited to finally read what happens next.

If this is the case for even one single person out there, then writing and posting a story is worth it for me :)

An opinion about g/t media and the consumers.

Never thought fast-consumed media (pictures and drawings) will become most of what the g/t community is based on now. Back in the day you could read and sometimes you would see decent art here and there. Now? If you do not draw you don't get any notes. No one seems to care enough about your writing if you don't create art for it, of it or before it. I'm taking this off of mainly @entomolog-t 's posts as of right now (sorry for the tag, I do not mean to bother you with my meaningless rambling). But. I see their posts about their characters at least a hundred times a day; the art. ALWAYS the art. I started reading the actual stories and I was confused why those posts didn't have as many notes; simply, people care about the characters enough to like the g/t art made about them, but not enough to actually sit down and read about them. Most g/t writers are swept under the rug, even if their stories are incredibly, because they do not have art that includes g/t in it. And that says a lot to me. I value the artist, you can see how much time and effort goes into the art. But. Where is the value to the writers? Those that sit down and put in so much effort to please the people that love their character, only to be let down by only getting the half amount, if that, of the notes they, or artists receive on art. It makes me feel weird. Kinda makes the effort meaningless if you see posts about scribbles, G/T SCRIBBLES, get hundreds of notes, but amazing writing about 40 notes.

As someone who loves to write and put myself out there, it sucks the hope out of me, knowing because I can't draw, I'll never be recognized. And before you think 'oooh someone's jealous', no. Just simply, frustrated. Frustrated at how media works.

Now, I do not need to be flooded with hate comments, but I would love to hear other's opinion about this.