#i put off watching episodes 2 and 3 until now. its very nice i like it

[puppianqueen]

the sillies

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I’m largely pleased with BL & pissed with Kpop

April 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 1 of 10 (MDL says 12, but I think it’s just 10) - Abused intern trope is a go! I wasn’t sure I would like the lead, but he’s totally adorable. Although (I gotta say it) who tf eats a croissant with a knife & fork? Also.. the main couple has good chemistry! Hallyfuckingluya! In fact, the quality of the acting and sound etc is generally superior to a normal pulp. It’s good! This is a good show? How exciting! 

Our Skyy 2 (PondPhuwin) eps 1-2 - Honestly, I was nervous to watch this but I liked it a lot! Doomed soulmates + paranormal time travel to fix the past. I’m happy for the outfits and the dancing (if not the singing). It’s not a bad premise and it’s nice to see GMMTV lean into its high production values for a change. I could’ve watched this as an actually full length BL. Gotta say, Puhwin’s English is so good and v west coast USA accent (international school kiddo got skillz). Meanwhile, loved seeing MarcPuwin again. My Gear & Your Gown disappointing us wasn't their fault. *Hilarious that Marc is side couple in 3 BLs airing simultaneously, that’s a record! (Waves at Marc X1.) I’ll be rating each of these installments separately, as I did the first time around. This one gets an 8/10 from me.

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 10fin - A very Check Out the series ending. Disastrous sun glasses. King being shy was adorable. Nevertheless I do think the final 2 eps felt a little tagged on and superfluous excess. Ultimately? This just wasn’t as good as the first 5 episodes set us up to hope for. Series review below.  

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 eps - Cute confession and boyfriends phase. The bit with brothers’ boyfriends serving each other food was kinda charming. Could do without blushing maiden trope. But hey ho. (Waves at Marc X2.) 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - Cute phi/nong convo and teasing, but this is largely boring. I do like that the conflict is all about business loyalty, cubical friendships, and coworker gossip. This is as it should be in an office romance. But I wish the characters were consistent.  

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - The boyfriends phase. I just know with this show that the moment it ends I’m going to entirely forget about it. It’s boring.  

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 10fin - What a waste. Seriously don’t bother. It seems to end unhappily, but maybe not, but also who tf cares? 3/10 Series review below, for my sins. (Waves at Marc X3.) 

Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 5fin - It was Songkran so no new ep until tomorrow. May your New Year be blessed. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 7 of 10 - the put YT on a week delay off WeTV, so I will watch it next week. I have WeTV but I prefer YT. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 9-10 fin - Awe a crying kiss. My fav! This one was fine. Not a v good kiss but KBL has to bow to form on occasion. The sides didn’t get much of a resolution. (Although we know why.) It was a solid ending. Series review below. 

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - this ep was a little slow for me, oh I know, that’s what this show is doing, but yeah. Still it’s soft and sweet and wonderful. Why are you not watching it? Go. Now. 

The Eighth Sense (Korea Weds Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Honestly? I checked out a bit this installment. Possibly because JaeWon checked out as well. I mean, I understand what the narrative is doing, portraying JW coping (badly) with loss and the complex knot of guilt, love, fear, lust, and shame. But I don’t really feel drawn into a romance when the main characters are separated for most of an hour. I do like JiHyun’s personality shift and aggressive stance on renewing the relationship. That’s fun to watch. And I do love his besties. Of course ep 8 ends with major heartbreak and pain. I expected nothing less from this show. Gotta admit I’m a little mad tho, I wanted it to EXCEED my expectations. 

My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 10 - I don’t like one of the couples (not side dishes, this is a 50/50 split) but I weirdly like Sky’s new arc, even if he’s with someone new. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - it’s just so odd. I can’t believe THIS is the JBl we get 12 eps of. This one?  Japan, must you? (How many times a year do I type that phrase?)

Finished this Week

Unintentional Love Story - A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss’s favorite artist, now a recluse. His ex-manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) carried this show (which I don’t expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes. That said, he had weak chemistry with his co-lead. But everything else was quietly queerly KBL pristine and beautifully executed, even the conflict. I’m not sure on rewatchability for me, and it didn’t whip me into a verbal frenzy the way some KBLs do but it’s still getting a solid 9/10 

Bed Friend - Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship, that is essentially built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly worshipful eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS). NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10. Could have been great but they overworked it. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down. Full review here.

Chains of Heart - This was a terrible show, unbelievably confusing, badly subbed, with characters behaving illogically, nonsensically, and heartlessly. What’s worse? The leads had fantastic chemsitry, were willing to do high heat (and do it well) and were pretty! So they squandered a decent cast and some actual production money on a shoddy scrip and terrible directing - what a waste. Seriously, don’t bother. It maybe ends unhappily, maybe not, but you should neither care nor bother to find out. 3/10 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Venus in the Sky (Sat YouTube) pilot/tester?) 0 of 10 - not entirely sure what’s up with this one distribution-wise, but the pilot was classic university-set pulp. I hope it happens because the leads are cute with good chemsitry and I thought it was fun. However, this pilot holds together as its own little short too.

Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish, based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Same as above.

Stormy Honeymoon (Vietnam) - 3rd in this series and the ULTIMATE in domesticity. New side couple is cute too. But I’m kinda over the leads at this point. (see comments)

In Case You Missed It

BL Express has a post on upcoming GL. I don’t track this, but they do. 

I decided to hold off and binge Cafe in Love and Destiny Seeker. So I’ll be watching and reporting back after I’ve collected all the eps. I realized that I miss binging BL. That said I have been siting on To Sir, With Love forever. Not sure why I am so reluctant to dive into that one. 

[ Not into Kpop? Skip to “next week.”] 

Peak Time pretty much ended exactly as expected, which was also exactly how it started. Our BL boy Karem got booted for the grave sin of being a, ya know, 2nd gen idol dude bro. But it was the superior survival show. BLK made me cry, so did MASC for that matter. We have discussed this before, I am a sap. I look forward to seeing where Vanner go next. 

Boy’s Planet was ultimately disappointing. I watched some predictions about who Mnet actually wanted to win, and they were mostly correct. With the delightful upset of China scooping the #1 spot. (Delightful bc I am a chaos money who lives for politics fucking with soft power and watching China give the jaundice eye to S Korea for half a decade bc they Hallyued their way into winning the culture war using Kpop, and NOW China is doing what we all knew they would which is... infiltrate. Ultimately? Boy’s Planet was nothing more than an exercise in manipulative editing, they just accidentally manipulated the global vote into Zhang Hao winning. Not to slag off that baby boy’s serious cuteness - I genuinely thought he was great, actually. Frankly, I emerged cackling and mostly just v. disappointed in Pentagon fans. I think they deserve to lose their group for how little they supported Hui. Let’s be truthful? They are likely losing their group or Hui wouldn’t have been on the damn show in the first place. (Cube seems highly disinterested and their 7 year contracts are uppity up.) This is neither the first nor the most extreme version of me being disappointed by Kpop fans. There’s a reason I don’t participate in that fandom. 

In more relevant news to THIS fandom, JiWoong made it into ZB1, which means we will NOT see him or the Kissable Lips pair back on our screens anytime soon (if ever). 

RIP the pretty.... 

Whatever, it is still the golden age of Korean BL. Our Dating Sim happened. We will all be fine. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Happy Merry Ending starts Weds April 26 on Gaga (with ep 2 the next day) 8 eps total. It looks cute: opposites attract, musicians, giving me Wish You vibes. It’s from the Our Dating Sim’s Kidari Studio. Adapted from the manhwa of the same title (해피메리엔딩) by dorae (도래). Stars Lee Dong Won (main rapper of KNK - yes that’s Semantic Error’s Park Seo Ham’s group) opposite actor Byun Sung Tae. Also stars Kim Kyu Jong (of SS501) and actor Shin Myung Sung (The Heavenly Idol).

The Eighth Sense ends, thank fuck. I don’t think I could take much more of the tension with that one. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This week’s fashion hall of shame:

those glasses, both useless and ugly 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Leaning into their brand. 

Leaning outside of it but looking sexy AF. Thank you GMMTV! 

What do I always say? I love it when a drama reviews itself. 

All Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go (PondPhuwin) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Winner’s Remember. I got nothing to say about it except it’s great and everyone always seems to forget about Winner but they just keep singing, and that’s kinda the sentiment of this song.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. once again, i've fallen behind, thanks again to hades. sunday* we watched "equilibrium" and "second skin" and last night* we watched "the abandoned" and "civil defense."

im typing this at fuck o clock monday night its scheduled to go up without me tmrw morning

equilibrium:

hi, sorry, the cold opening of them having dinner here......i could have watched a whole episode of this alone. odo learning to cook. kira thinking he's cute (HI???). bashir being precious about beets. sisko best cook ever. it was so good and i was a little wary when jadzia ruined it with a trill mood swing or whatever i was like damn this episode won't make me like dax any better unfortunately

actually though the episode was fine. the hallucinations were decently scary and i liked getting to know jadzia a little better ie about her hatred of doctors

it was also nice that 1. bashir stopped being a freak about her and 2. her hair is less big now. her falling asleep in his quarters (and her wanting the bottom bunk bc of curzon falling out of a tree) was so cute actually. i want to like her!!! i'm trying hard.

i also really liked the mystery in this episode, but if we're talking times a trill has been traumatized by going into a bad host, what about that one guy who stole her in like season 2 or whenever...?

i wish dax had gotten to apologize to kira also :( women should be kissing not fighting

i do LOVE when sisko calls jadzia old man. i think it's so fun. the gender of it all. i also really liked his little line about how he still misses curzon sometimes but would also be devastated if anything happened to jadzia. dax both is and isn't curzon, both is and isn't jadzia...where that divide is and what makes up dax vs what makes up jadzia is really fascinating to me, i wish we explored it more

scene in the pool at the end i was so afraid she was gonna get naked. thank god.

second skin:

hhhhholy fuck

so, i loved this episode right up until the very last second. firstly, every kira episode is great. she's fantastic and so well-written and such a talented actress, i'm obsessed with her. secondly, we flirted with an amnesia plot for a hot second which was so fun. thirdly, what the FUCK

i love also, hi, that kira unpacked so much of her thoughts about the missing week of her life in odo's office. he's literally her sounding board. is this thing on? they love each other

the sheer raw fucked up factor of kira waking up AS A CARDASSIAN. she looked like she wanted to tear off her own skin and who can blame her. i hardly recognized her

GARAK IS HERE. i really love whatever he's going going on with sisko. "this is extortion" "yes it is" and also "that's the first totally honest thing you've ever said to me" every single conversation they have is like. garak flirts for fun and for sport with everyone in this show (INCLUDING KIRA???) and sisko is constantly meeting him in the middle . also, him putting the fear of god into that ship that tried to board them <3

the mystery of this episode was so intriguing. i was on the edge of my seat waiting for the gang (INCLUDING ODO!!!) to rescue kira. i wanted to figure out the Truth, bc obviously she's not a fucking cardassian. but i do feel they dropped the ball a little at the end

firstly, it seems too convenient that kira happens to look SO much like the real illiana that her OWN FATHER could not tell them apart. yeah, yeah, ten years, but are we serious rn?

SECONDLY, i don't think kira getting teary when given this keepsake (which was already weird) and declaring this cardassian dissident to be a "good man" is very IC. she's only come to that kind of understanding with one cardassian before (guy who pretended to do war crimes), and given the traumatic nature of this whole ordeal, i would have expected her to have mixed feelings/have trouble expressing this aloud, even if she did believe it. so we ended on kind of a weak note there, overall though incredible experience

the abandoned:

first, when i said "give odo a baby" i did not mean it like this.

second, dad sisko. my best friend sisko. sisko holding a baby, sisko missing his own baby, sisko sisko sisko my beloved

uhhh sisko not doing good with his own son because...drummroll please...jake is still dating the dabo girl

i genuinely thought this was a throwaway line but we have a whole fucking PLOT in here

i don't understand sisko at the end of this ep being like "yeah they can keep dating." ik this show is 30 years old but JAKE IS SIXTEEN. THE DABO GIRL IS 20. she seems nice and definitely she shouldn't be judged for being a dabo girl and if this character were like 18 i'd be like, okay, that's two years, she's only technically an adult, but TWENTY? at this age, 4 years is a HUGE gap

also, her tits were pushed so far out i wasn't even sure if they were real or not...HE IS SIXTEEN. like yes he knows what tits are but she is an ADULT??? eugh.

ANYWAY, odo's quarters!!! i like that he finally has a real room and doesn't just live in a bucket at work like presumably the cardassians made him do. kira bringing him a housewarming gift and wanting a peek at what he had going on in there was genuinely so sweet i wanted to kerm. i'm glad we got that since they argued later BUT win for me bc we also ended the episode on them

rip odo's trauma :( lab specimen ptsd meets founders identity crisis for a total fucjing breakdown. he did pretty good considering

civil defense:

10/10 EPISODES THIS ONE WAS AMAZING

lots of really fun sisko moments in this. i love when he gets to save the day and i love when he hangs out with jake. jakes was extremely brave and helpful too he saved their asses a bunch of times. today he got to be one of the grown-ups

GARAK IS HERE! i love how he showed up to help and then everything became immediately worse. every time you'd think "it cannot possibly get worse than this" it does

odo and quark essentially being locked in an elevator together. odo calling him devious (honorific). quark calling odo a guy with integrity (derogatory). i still don't Love quark but he's extremely funny and his scenes with odo are always a riot

STAR OF THIS SHOW GUL DUKAT. he showed up to laugh at their predicament and generally be unhelpful which was pretty funny but also i was a little mad at him and then he threatened kira which made me REALLY mad at him (she was so solid though she didn't budge and inch hell yes girl) and then he. got trapped on the space station also which was FUCKING hilarious. like i had been just mad enough to enjoy seeing him suffer under the reverse uno and find it IMMENSELY satisfying. you thought GARAK was a cringefail loser at getting this space station to work? he has nothing on gul dukat, who managed to not only make it EVEN WORSE but lock himself out of every system on the station. incredible work

absolutely though the best part of this episode BY FAR was when gul dukat was flirting with kira and nobody realized it but garak and he called him out on it 1. humiliating him in front of his crush 2. roasting him (bc anyone could see kira would have better taste) 3. reminding him that he's married 4. propping up kira herself bc garak supports women's rights and bajorans rights and also their wrongs. garak diss track when.

anyway, this episode hit the perfect balance between tense and funny, every single character had something fun to do or say, fucking excellent television

TONIGHT: um. um the first tng movie. um. the one with. the one where. please don't make me say it

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: In The Air Tonight

Now this is a song that many people know, at least partially! Even if the name doesn't ring a bell for you, you almost definitely know the part that some people call "one of the most iconic drumlines in music", so really it's no surprise that this was an arrangement from The Human Drumkit himself, Mr Layne Stein! Voiceplay's cover of In The Air Tonight premiered on YouTube on the 17th of June, 2023, and features J None, back again! I will of course say more about the video when we actually get into it, so let's go!

Apparently the style/aesthetics of this video plays homage to a classic 80s cop show called Miami Vice, which used the song "In The Air Tonight" in its pilot episode, in a scene which (so I've heard) has been referred to by some as one of the most iconic in the history of television.

(Also the car belongs to Layne's dad, and likely would have been sitting in the garage since the early days of 4:2:Five, at least)

J looking very cool and fresh in that red blazer! (Reminds me of the Walk Like A Man section of the Boy Band Medley!)

Geoff is, once again, the only bare-shouldered/sleeveless one of the group! (A back-to-back occurrence if you don't count the Peaches video!) (Also peep the necklace!)

A cool audiovisual effect thing to transition into the "modern-day" filming style!

Cesar is vibing, and Eli is back at it again with the unworn-sunglasses-as-accessory!

Cool necklace! And he's got earrings, too!

I won't lie, this may be one of my favourite Geoff Looks of 2023. It's not even anything particular about the outfit, he just looks so pretty in this one! (And his hair is looking very nice here, too 👀😁)

"Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand"

Of course I had to acknowledge Cesar's powerful side-eye here! Like seriously, if anyone ever asks you what a side-eye is, just show them this moment! 👌

Group shot!

I believe I read a comment somewhere saying this was filmed outside PattyCake Productions or something, like outdoors? And apparently it was a bit warm outside, especially with the lighting rigs, but if they were sweating/partially melting at all during this, you really can't tell! They did great!

(And shoutout to both Layne and Tony for set design and direction!)

Cesar never fails to put his whole self into his performances, and I love it every time

Voiceplay love adding brief little moments like this into their videos sometimes, just to keep things interesting and/or keep viewers on their toes 😄

Get it, Layne! Go off!

I wanna post screencaps from Geoff's little vocal solo and/or Layne's epic drumline-recreation immediately after, but still images don't do either justice! Go (re)watch it yourself!

"I been waiting for this moment, for ALL my liiife!"

The retro filming style/aesthetic is back! Happening so quickly and smoothly that you would be forgiven if you didn't immediately pick up on it! (*cough*)

Sure, why not?

"Well I been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh loooooo o r r r d d"

(Pretty Boy!!!!!)

J None is freaking amazing, and I really hope he becomes a permanent Voiceplay member again someday; both he and Cesar are fantastice vocalists and performers, and they both have vocal ranges wide enough that they can both easily take the role of baritone and/or tenor!

In my opinion, the original song does not really start getting interesting until the "bass drop" drumline like 3 minutes into the song, but Voiceplay's cover is not even close to dull for a single moment! We get incredible vocals from everyone in this one (and I didn't talk about Eli much at all here, but vocally he was of course phenomenal), and the arrangement has a fair few complexities and interesting stuff to it, like the stomp-clap-click percussion moment which I still struggle to actually keep in time/on beat with! Definitely a very strong cover from Voiceplay, and frankly it's a crime that it "only" has 500k views on YouTube! It deserves a million! At least!

[cerenemuxse]

So i finally watched BWBA (Season 24)

My very useless review of BWBA Season 24

Please make your own opinions. Don't be like me (way before this) and base yours off of everyone's else. That's why I put useless, because it is if you hadn't made your own.

Surprisingly, this season was in plain sight, as well as other T&F seasons.

Emily's Best Friend

I hated it. I still hate. Sorry, but the 2-12 interaction could not save it. I still love that moment though. To me, Emily is OOC.

Thomas' Fuzzy Friend

Wholesome filler episode with a ref to Thomas the Babysitter, which is one of my all-time favorites. I love it.

The Great Little Engine Show

Eh- i like the mention of the model engines. Don't have anything against it but it doesn't stick out. .3.

Thomas and the Forest Engines

I like it. :D I like the storyline about why certain engines are allocated to certain places.

Emily to the Rescue

Peak Emily moment. I love it but why did it take so long for her to get her number??? 😭 Oh, well. I still love it.

I love that bring out her caring aspect. It's like her intro episode. (I finally watched it and MAN, i wish I got that Emily growing up 😭 she just came off as a bossy big sister /neg)

Shankar's Makeover

Shankar's like me. /srs I like this episode for addressing situations like this. Stage fright, not wanting attention, and being someone who keeps to themself. Nice episode.

Nia and the Unfriendly Elephant

The references are nice. I love Nia's love for animals and her assignment to the park. Before, her job wasn't permanent. Also, Belle is here. I love her. I love them. I like it. :]

Until I watch all of Nia's episodes, I won't be commenting on how she supposedly repeats learning things from Kenya all the damn time.

However, I do have a problem with the argument being made. It feels like it dimisses that different cultures interact like this most of the time, bringing up the ways they handle certain situations. From my expierence, i hear where these differences come from all the time, even if I know the person well enough.

I just don't see the problem with Nia bringing up how things different are between her old home and Sodor. It feels relatable, despite the fact that I'm Hispanic (Mexican), and it makes sense.

James the Super Engine

I ADORE THIS EPISODE. I've talked about it before but in short, I love how James is portrayed. Could've EASILY written him as a hero who gave up and didn't bother checking up on Rebecca when she yelled for help. But no, they went the right way. James IS caring but considering the environment he's had to work in for so many years, you can see why he doesn't show it. But here, HE DOES.

And when he realizes that Rebecca is in trouble? Its his normal voice, whereas before, it was his superhero voice.

My honest reaction whenever i watch it:

Thomas' Not-So-Lucky Day

Eh- I think the lesson is pretty good about getting those good things by thinking positively and working towards them instead of letting luck be the decision maker.

Ace's Brave Jump

I dont care.

Nia's Bright Idea

W Nia for being resourceful and bringing things together. I like it.

Cleo's First Snow

I like it.

Sonny's Second Chance

I like it.

Thomas and the Inventor's Workshop

I dont care for Ruth but I like it. Its decent.

The Inventor's Bridge

That bridge is going to fall over but there's probably physics that I don't understand that makes it make sense. At the end though, i could care less.

Yong Bao and the Tiger

I've seen it before.

I initially didn't like it due to the dynamics of the story. Like why is a massive engine like Yong Bao shunting in the yard?

However, i like it more now. I can dismiss the dynamic.

Gordon and Rebecca, Coming Through!

I've talked about it before. Its confusing, especially with its placement. Would've worked better as the episode following 'Confusion Without Delay".

Despite this, i like their dynamic.

Gordon's behavior is tiresome. I usually ignore it but i've seen enough of CGI TTTE that im getting sick and tired out of it. I've heard that his character growth was forgotten but i havent seen enough to have a say.

Kenji on the Rails

Mixed feelings on this one because Hiro's leaving. :( Stop writing off my favorite characters.

In my second, I noticed Hiro's "konnichiwa" and got thrown off completely. Odd how they're JUST now bringing out Hiro's first language. I don't remember seeing this brought out before BWBA.

Not really a review because of that. I'm sour about it.

Cleo the Road Engine

Ah, the intro episode. I thought it was in season 23. Its just Thomas and Bertie rewritten but Cleo is avoiding her jobs. No, it somehow didn't destroy my liking to her.

Thomas' Animal Friends

I think its cute but Thomas would've straight up ignored Gordon.

Overall impression: Not as shitty as its made to be. It has its good moments and bad moments.

I'm so glad that I wasn't bombarded with fantasy sequences with this one. Those are just plain ridiculous, for the most part. In some episodes, it fits like James the Super Engine and Thomas' Animal Friends. The one in Emily's Best Friend made me cringe but I enjoyed it because its Edwad and Emily.

Listen, I'm desperate for 2-12 content, man, and I've been ignoring model era for a good while because I just dont want to.

Uh, that's it.

[malevolententity]

hello season 2 i am in Pain

project 4

to start this off. you all must know that i loath granny squares. i think theyre Fine to make as a boredom time killer! theyre fairly easy to work up! but making Pieces. Making Whole Ass Projects Out Of Squares? killing myself. killing god even. killing every pattern maker and every urge in me to Make the thing.

i hate this bag with a passion. i like it because the mushrooms are cute! its made entirely of scrap yarn that couldnt be used in other projects but a granny square project was perfect! the entire point of this bag is to put in every piece i make, that i keep, while watching ordem into this! it shall serve its purpose well. but i hate it. i hate this thing so much.

this wretched thing took about 14 hours? i started it 2 hours into season 2. i finished this bag with about 10 minutes to spare on episode 4. this is a 14 hour bag and i hate my life with a passion but its okay because i made something to hold things i like more LMAO.

i am though very proud of it working out colorwise as well as it did since its made of all scrap yarn. the handle doesnt work as Well as i was hoping but i think it still pulls all the blues nicely for the most part. and again its just a think to hold projects for the moment unless i end up gifting it. for not proper planning i Do like it even if i kinda hate it xD

season thoughts so far

dude luis can not catch a break like i Know both deaths of his so far have been purposeful by his own hand. but like what the fuck dude, he can not have a character that lives to see episode 4 huh. i like the big weird spider ngl i hope we get a fucked up brocket or a fucked up bear with whatever the fuck is going on in the forest. m kinda neutral on arthur right now but i know he'll grow on me as we get more episodes in, god m gonna miss cris and esp what growth we coulda had between cris and cesar but i know its probably gonna kick off a wonderful cesar arc. assuming he survives to see said arc.

still big fan of joui, in love with the entire conversation between joui and liz surrounding The Stairs Incident hes soooooo. that fucking conversation took me out. i cant wait to see what happens next and who the next casualty is because i knew getting into it, but esp now that this is a no holds series, you will just die and have to learn how to keep going. since i dont check the wiki m really interested to see if luis comes back in the next? 12 episodes i think are left? with a new character or if hes just gone from the season and i gotta wait for season 3 to see him again.

and sadly :( i can not watch anymore ordem for the next little bit even tho i have a project and yarn all picked out because i hurt my wrist yesterday while crocheting and did the Silly of finishing this piece today even with slight pain. so m gonna be kind to myself a rest a few days even tho i reaaaally wanna see whats in this fucked up bone house???? human skull effigy house its Gotta be something interesting. but until then. i shall simply enjoy normal streams and learning more portuguese

[atarev]

Set 12: Viamance Bruce

Hey Hey Hey!

A bit earlier this week cuz this idea's been bouncing around in my head for a while, and I really just wanna write it down. SInce we covered Bastion last week, how about we look at his one true rival now in the all new purple; Diabolos, Viamance Bruce!

As this card's flavour mentions, this definitely feels like a full-power deck in terms of the sheer heights its columns can reach! By turning on Final Rush (or Final Burst going second) the power of these columns can and Will Skyrocket with support from units like Heidi, Jammil and the new addition in set 12, Geno!

Here's the list if you just wanna try it out right away! Code: L9BR on EN Decklog

Below the cut as usual, we dive into the details!

As I talked about already in the upper blurb, this decks power cards are currently their new lad, Geno, alongside some powerful column making from Heidi and defensive power from Jammil and Trish! Let's take a look at how Geno impacts the deck first off

[AUTO](Front Row RC):When your vanguard attacks, if you are in "Final Burst", COST [Soul Blast (2)], for every two cards in your damage zone, choose one of your rear-guards in the same column as this unit, and [Stand] it. If you [Stand] two units, they get [Power]+5000 until end of turn. [AUTO](Front Row RC):At the end of your turn, if you are in "Final Rush", COST [put this unit into soul], choose a normal unit from your soul, and you may put it into hand.

For those of who you managed to watch Episode 5 of WillDress season 3 you'll be familliar with this guy! He's Viamance Bruce but on a rearguard circle while also acting as a Protobulb Dragon for the Diabolos archetype enabling miraging, 5 attacks and even more power overall! This card is great and definitely a must-include to bring out Viamance's full strength, as is a card like Jamill!

Jamil helps you make your board back up very nicely if you're in a retire-based match-up like Ghandeva or Vermillion, while also providing extremely rare defensive power as well! Pair him with a boost from a unit like Heidi, who gets +5k every time she boosts if you're in FR/FB (Final Rush/Final Burst) then stand it with either Viamance or Geno? If you Persona Rode you're making your opponent stare down a 58k column before triggers!

All that high power will tempt your opponent to just take the swings, which is where we move into the more personal choices such as cards like Eden, Mabel, and Greg!

Eden is a valuable crit-gaining rear that combined with viamances buff and a heidi boost, is 43k and critical, meaning that no matter what your opponent plays shield wise its at least 2 cards (20k front and a crit) or a 3 card guard or pg, and getting PGs out in this format is Incredibly important since everything's getting so big now they're your main lifeline

In a similar vein, Mabel helps you make your other rears like Jamil go critical by giving your vanguard Triple Drive. Do note however! That this is changing Bruce's drive-checking ability from Twin Drive to Triple Drive, meaning if your opponent has Elementaria Sanctitude, they can play it for free to nullify his attack.

Nonetheless though she is a very important card for increasing lethality even further and your go-to vanguard booster. And because she and Viamance are eating 2cb a turn, Greg comes in from down-town with a countercharge! The 2 soul is a bit of a precious resource with Geno eating it as well, but the rideline soulcharge combined with Jamils will help you use it at least once safely alongside Geno's skill.

You could experiment with cards like Ivanka, Julian, Stephanie and Patrick to make this deck feel like your own. Patrick and Julian have a fair bit of use for tearing down an opposing board while making your own in particular, but i like the version of this deck geared towards killing on turn 3 or 4, since that's the speed most decks are at now.

Overall Viamance is definitely a deck that can pulverise you if it gathers too much steam, and its cb needs to be respected. Its biggest flaw is how piece reliant it is, so if you can cut down the big rears efficiently, you'll have a much easier time handling it, but you need to be on your guard regardless in case cards like Jamil pop up!

That's all for this week! Since I've already done an article on Orfist, i might just do one on Jheva next week depending on how tomorrow's episode goes! Or maybe I'll circle around to a different deck from this season! We shall see!

Until then amigos! Ciao!

[charlie-and-yoshi-rp-hell]

Episode 49

So it´s been 5 years since I last posted here. I´m honest, I forgot about it. I was busy, life was hectic, I lost two family members, both rather suddenly. But I´m doing fine - I got my MSc in biology, and will start a new job in ca. 2 weeks in a very interesting lab! I´ll post new episodes as often as I can. Not too much of the old MSA RP is left anyway.

Thank you for everyone still reading and following. I appreciate it. Really <3

-Yoshi

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Yoshi Raven: "Of course! You don´t have to ask that!" he squealed, grinning at Lewis while he gave Gear small pieces of his food.

"But since Vivi takes care of new missions we have to ask her if we really have a free day. Vivi!! Breakfast is ready and I´ll eat it without you!!" Arthur called, knowing she´d give him a scary glare at this. He pushed her plate away from his own, just to make sure she wouldn´t bite his hand.

Charlie McCarthey: "Here comes the blue blur now--followed by her second-in-paw, the white blur." Lewis joked as he watched the two careen around the corner and flop into their seats eagerly. They dug in, but not before Vivi noticed Lewis and brightened up.

"You look awesome, Lew--how do you feel?" She asked gently.

"Pretty good. We wanted to know if today wss a day off or if we need to go anywhere."

"Hm, well, come to think of it I did take a case a few days ago--with the two Lewis' I had to put it on hold. The owner was a really nice guy, he let us put the case off for a few days. The sooner we get started the better."

Yoshi Raven: Arthur giggled at the two racing in. He had already finished his last pancake and saw that Vivi and Mystery had eaten half of them. Within seconds. Unbelievable.

"What kind of case is it? A non-dangerous one I hope."

A small case would be nice - especially because Lewis still needed some more rest and a big fight would be bad for him.

Charlie McCarthey: "You know, I think it will be? To be honest, from what he told me over the phone, I think it's just a low level poltergiest? We're in luck--its haunting in a bar. You know what that means."

"Poltergiests can be mistaken for demonic haunts--IF they're sorrounded by negative energy." Lewis nodded. "But, if you're in a bar, chances out you're going out to have a good time."

"Exactly! So he's just sounds like a mischievous one if you ask me."

Yoshi Raven: "Oh that´s good. Maybe that ghost is just bored and likes playing pranks on people. But as long as we can help without fighting, everything will be fine."

Arthur stretched his arms and gently put Gear from his lap, then got up and put his plate in the sink.

"Actually I´m really looking forward for this mission. Getting some work done, you know. When can we leave?" he asked, looking at Vivi and Mystery with a small grin.

Charlie McCarthey: "It's three hours out, and when I asked when he wanted us to investigate he said we could do it during open hours. The ghost seems to be most active around people--another poltergiest motive."

"They do like attention." Lewis mused as he flicked his wrist,, shooing some Deadbeats away absently as he stood up too.

"If we leave in about an hour, we should get there by 3, 4 at the latest. Everyone okay with that?" Vivi checked.

"I'm good."

Yoshi Raven: "Yep, me too. I´ll check on the van until then."

He walked over to Vivi and Mystery and patted both their heads. "Don´t eat all of our food until then." Arthur mocked and quickly moved away from her tickle attack, heading towards the door.

"Lew, you coming with me?" he asked, smiling at him.

Charlie McCarthey: "Coming!" The ghost practically trilled, floating after him.

"You haven't worked on your baby in a while." He realized quietly when he saw the van sitting in its spot. He frowned a little, shifting through the memories he had to see if he--or his ghost half--was to blame.

Yoshi Raven: "I know but I have been busy in the last few days" he purred and tousled his hair.

"Besides, there was no mission where we had to drive that far away for a long time. I prefer checking before long road trips, there´s no need for a check every time we drive."

Arthur opened he engine bay and inspected it. He was quiet for a while, then grabbed a wrench and worked on some parts.

"By the way ghosts... I think I haven´t told you yet, but I was taking notes. You know, about... you. Me. Us. Our relationship. I guess this might be helpful one day. And I thought about a new spell for you... not sure if this will work, though."

Charlie McCarthey: "Yeah?" Lewis had been floating up on the roof, his arms behind his head and legs crossed as he hovered lazily in place. But at Arthur's words he sat up and shifted down, giving Arthur his attention.

"What did you have in mind?"

Yoshi Raven: "You know... I had the idea some time after that last cult incidence. I never expected that our bond could break for a while because of a high stress level." he mumbled and closed the engine bay, then leaned against the van.

"You can´t change into your Ifrit form without that connection. And that´s the thing that bothers me. I never hope it will happen again, but - what if we have to fight a dangerous monster, ghost or demon and because of whatever reason, the bond is broken again? You could go down within seconds, depending on how strong the enemy is. And that´s why I´m trying to find a solution, an emergency spell. To give you energy so you can turn into an Ifrit for, let´s say 10 minutes. Even if you don´t win the fight you could get us all out of the danger." Arthur explained with a serious look on his face. Yes, he hoped this would never happen but who knows what monster where out there.

Charlie McCarthey: "Yeah. I mean--that sounds like it could be a dozy of a spell. The monster form isn't something I can just... slip into." He winced, shuddering just by thinking about it. "Try for a shorter time period for now. 5 ought to do it, Art. Every second in a fight counts, you've got a good point. I don't want to see any of you hurt because I can't change fast enough." He sighed a little, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.

"Be careful, alright?"

Yoshi Raven: "Don´t worry, I´ll be. I still have to do some research anyway and it´ll take more time. As soon as I finished it, we can do that spell." He walked to the ghost, hugging him for a few minutes but then got back to work on the van and check everything until they could get on the road and start the mission.

Charlie McCarthey: Lewis smooched the mechanic's cheek, and headed inside to see if Vivi and Mystery were getting ready. He was right, the two were ready to go after having their customary third helping.

"How's she look, Artie?" Vivi asked as they all headed outside. "Ready to go?"

Yoshi Raven: Arthur was already sitting on the driver´s seat, waiting for the others.

"She´s perfect as always and we could drive to the moon. Come on, get in here, I wanna drive! If you don´t hurry I´ll go alone!"

He waved at the others, a big smile on his face while he started the engine.

Charlie McCarthey: "Shotgun!" Vivi shouted. Not that there was a big demand for it, usually Arthur and Vivi were the ones who got into those competitions--Mystery liked sleeping in the van and Lewis was either driving or didn't mind sitting in the back.

Today it was the later, the ghost and dog piled onto the baxk bench and stretched out together. Lew still needed rest, and he was warm to lie against. The two soon fell asleep, Mystery head in Lewis' lap and his hand over the little dog's body.

Yoshi Raven: Arthur had put on some quiet, relaxing music for the two in the back and talked a bit with Vivi then and now, but most of the time they were silent so Lewis and Mystery could sleep some more. Finally, they reached the town with the club. Arthur parked the van next to it and turned off the music, then got out of the van and opened one of the back doors.

"Mystery, Lewis, wake up. We arrived."

Charlie McCarthey: Waking up took a few moments. The ghost didn't seem wholly aware of anything until he was standing out of the van and stretching. Lewis yawned lazily, and finally blinked open his eyes to see where they--

"You have got to be kidding me." He deadpanned, staring up at the caustic, neon font blazing over the little club.

"This place!? Seriously?!" He moaned, actually taking a step back. Vivi looked at him like he was crazy, and when he saw Artie taking a step toward it he grabbed his wrist and held him back.

"You can't go in there!"

Visions--memories of that Arthur, Arthur the poledancer flashed through his mind.

Yoshi Raven: Arthur, who had no idea of that alternate version of himself, was looking at Lewis.

"Eh? Why? Lewis, the owner needs our help, we have to enter the club! What´s wrong with it? Well ok, they have strippers and more and it´s mostly for gay men but that shouldn´t bother us. We´re not here for fun. Come on, let go of me."

Charlie McCarthey: Lew only pulled a pleading face, but his hand slipped from Arthur's wrist at his command. "Maaan..." He groaned under his breath, reluctantly following the rest of the gang into the club.

"Of all the places in the world, it had to be this one." He grumbled, remembering all the worry 'that' Arthur had put through him, how unstable his life seemed.

Lewis entered the joint with a mildly annoyed, agitated and decidedly negative aura.

Proably not the best idea with a poltergiest hanging around.

Yoshi Raven: Arthur just looked at Lewis, then at Vivi but she looked just as confused as him. He´d ask about this place later.

The club looked just like Lewis had seen it. Men sitting or standing everywhere, talking, drinking, some were smoking and music was playing. No one was dancing at the pole, at least. The gang was just a few seconds in that club and they already saw the bartender chasing a few floating drinks. He was able to grab and give them to the customers. Luckily, they didn´t see this and walked away to their table. The bartender sighed and sat down on a chair, his hands supporting his head. The guy looked slightly grumpy.

Charlie McCarthey: Vivi introduced the gang, and Lewis managed to settle his nerves long enough to flash the bartender a reassuring smile. With the mood Lew was in right now, it didn't matter if things got 'ugly.' He'd be more than happy to take out his emotions on low level ghost, if it ever came to that. Lewis kept his arms crossed and stood behind Arthur, shooting a few dark and worried looks toward the stage every so often.

Mystery put his nose to the ground and snuffled around, weaving inbetween tables and chairs as he let the humans do their talking. He had a better way of finding spirits, after all!

Yoshi Raven: The bartender, his name was Jeremy and he was the owner, too, was relieved to see the gang and told them everything that had happened.

"... floating glasses, plates fell down or the lights flickered - none of this is dangerous but the guests slowly notice something is wrong. If they stay away, I can close this club but I don´t want to! I worked for a very, very long time to give these people a place where they can relax so please. Whatever is causing this, make it go away."

"Don´t worry, we´ll solve this case. Just take care of the guests and let us do the rest." Arthur smiled at him. This would be an easy case, the ghost was not dangerous and just playing pranks.

"Alright, let´s search for the ghost."

Charlie McCarthey: "Artie, you stay here and check the main room. Lew, since you seem so invested in the stage area, why don't you go check there? Mystery's already off--he'll come get one of us if he finds anything." Viv made a mental check list of where she sent her boys, "And I'll check the kitchen and the basement. Let's see if we can convince this ghost to go haunt somewhere else--so be open, friendly and safe!" She reminded cheerfully.

Lewis grumbled and headed off--his height alone made the people move out of his way, to say nothing of the slightly perturbed look he had, and the fact he was wearing sun glasses inside.

Yoshi Raven: "Got it. See you!" Arthur immediately started looking around for signs of ghost activity. He slowly made his way through the crowd, stopping here and there but there were no floating glasses or flickering lights. As if the ghost was hiding, now that Lewis and Mystery where here. They´d find him anyway.

Most of the guys here were much taller than him - but he was short, anyway and only a few were as tall as Lewis. Just minutes after he had started looking for the ghost, he noticed that some of the guys were looking at him. Most of them just because he was moving through the whole room but some - some had that flirty, no, predatory look in their eyes. He wasn´t afraid, though. If someone would try anything, it wasn´t Arthur that would be in trouble then.

Charlie McCarthey: Lewis vanished behind the curtain to the backstage with barely a sound, keeping an absentminded pull on the bond. It wasn't like he expected anything happen, from the ghost or Arthur or otherwise, but being in this...place...already had Lewis on edge.

He knew his fears were illogical and it was just a timeline, but, damn. He won't ever forget that Arthur he met.

It's because of these thoughts that Lewis forgets to keep a tab on his Arthur. He doesn't notice the fleet strings of negative emotions Art was giving off.

Yoshi Raven: After walking around for 20 minutes, he sat down at the bar and got a drink from Jeremy. He took a sip then turned to look over the room. Maybe he could see something from far away. There was nothing happening for a long time besides these looks from some guys that slowly made him nervous, but then there was a light flickering at the other side of the room. Arthur observed it, not noticing the two guys that were coming closer.

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(Previous) - (Next)

[keefwho]

January 01 - 2024 Monday

10:35pm

Today I did not work because I was going to use today to get groceries and set myself up for the month. I woke up with a swollen throat for some reason, more than is normal for when my throat get irritated over night. It looked splotchy too like strep but if it was that then I have no idea where I would have gotten it. I took a long hot shower and made chicken noodle soup with a grilled cheese for breakfast. I almost ruined the grilled cheese completely while flipping it because I was trying to flip it with a ladle to cut down on dishes but I salvaged it. The soup was very good on my throat. I watched an episode of Bojack while eating. Afterwards my dad knocked on my door letting me know he was going to town 2 hours early so him and my sister could do some things. I was irritated by this because I was going to go to town despite my throat but not if it was going to be 2 hours longer than planned and with more company. I feel like I still should have gone to prove I can handle it. Since I was staying home I joined TDS for a little bit and played KSP for 2 hours. Some awkward guy joined and didn't really say anything even thought I tried making conversation. He also thought I was asking if he had sex last night when I asked "Did you get fucked up last night?" which was weird. He said he never pulled. I left after playing and took the next hour to wipe down my kitchen, organize my freezer, and wrap my last gift for Evie. Its an 8 inch toy model car out of it's box so I wrapped it in bubblewrap and just wrapped that up. I also had to steal a roll of wrapping paper from my parents. For lunch I made a birria Tapitio ramen bowl with some mixed veggies which I found out is a great thing to put in these noodle bowls. Its kinda like how cup noodle tries to put little veggies in theirs but it's way better. Daisy was on the road and asked me to call while I cooked and put away groceries. I found it very nice and relaxing to chat with her while I was handling my groceries. After a bit she had the idea to put something on to listen to so we listened to 3 episodes of Geno's Chris Chan documentary. I on and off played KSP and Cities in the background. While playing Cities I was able to relax and build what my heart told me without the stress of doing things "right". The entire call was very long and chill, I sort of felt like I was riding in the car too since I wasn't really doing anything. After a lot of Chris Chan we just chatted for a little until she got home. I made chicken fries and french fries for dinner as usual. I saw a video about potato soup I wanted to watch so I did and got inspired to make something similar. I called Daisy in bed and played Neopets where we found out I can't go back to wrap up the side quests I had even if I loaded a slightly older save. After she fell asleep, I watched Day 0 of Adriene's 30 day yoga challenge and did my nightly routine. I accidently brushed my teeth before finishing my tea so now it tastes weird but I gotta get hydrated.

Today was okay but I felt very stressed thinking about all the things I want to do and how I'm going to do them. I realized I need to cultivate more focus and put some things off until another time. I need to be able to switch gears between things instead of giving everything attention all at once.

[tatakaeeren]

thank you for being so kind >-< i never like rambling problems bc i am very apathetic when it comes to well, anything dealing with anyone else's problems so i never meant to ramble out to you I'm still so sorry ;-; it won't get less stressful per se, I'm graduating in December and getting my PhD (or at least want to) so i have applications for that and scholarship and grant writing for more research projects <///33 I'm too much of an overachiever for my own good <//333 BUT ENUFF on that i refuse to be sad and wallow in an unproductive state so i will instead talk about something else.

What are some of your least favorite romance/shoujo tropes in anime and in manga? Whether it be bl stories, yuri, webtoons, mangas, anything! I shall go first~ (of course i will ask you what are your faves are in the next ask~)

My least favorites

Tsunderes.

i KNOW it's so common to have it and kuudere and tsunderes are very similar but GAH I HATE TSUNDERES SO MUCH because it's usually used as a he or she is a total bitch but don't worry guys it's bc they are shy <3 LIKE WHOT. yes yes they get "warmer over time" but this is why i had to stop watching kaguya-sama love is war because i can't stand that show i couldn't 😭

Needless pining, the "chase"

see kaguya-sama love is war (sorry to flame this show but it's also a perfect example). I know people say the development gets started in the second season and i know it's like critical acclaim and popularity is deserved blah blah but idk man, the first season just turned me off SO MUCH that i haven't been able to pick it back up ESPECIALLY THE END ARC AT LIKE THE FESTIVAL idk i just pining and missed chances and mind games i can only do for like 2 episodes but after that i NEED TO SEE SOME PROGRESSION otherwise i get so annoyed

Starts off a bitch, gets better

could be put in the same category as a tsundere but this gets its own category because bl mangas fucking love this trope and i hate it like i know everyone loves BJ Alex, and are probably fawning over Jinx right now but GOSH i could never read either because i just like I DONT GET IT IF ASSHOLE WHY HE GET LOVE???? i do nawt care if he had some traumatic life experience YOU DONT GET TO BE A ASSHOLEEEEEEEEE. And this doesn't count as enemies to lovers because usually in that one they're both dicking each other over and it's mutual versus like nice guy simp gets trampled on.

Okie now your turn <33333 (if you dont' have any i will look like such a bitch asfdasdfasdf)

-lavender anonie~

You're welcome 💖 I'm always here to help everyone who needs to be listened and understood ✨. OOHHH nice!!! congratsss so you have to give your everything until December... and then apply to a PhD? (I'm sorry I don't quite get the educational system over there) and how many more years is that?

Hahahahah Such an interesting topic! haha least fav first and then our faves 🤣 ok.. let's see: "Tsunderes"... it depends if they are annoying because sometimes there are Tsunderes that are charming and adorable with a spicy feisty side... those I enjoy, but the ones that only scream and act rude or mean for no reason... I pass. The "pinning", I enjoy it when there is real tension and life actually, either pulls them apart or together (not the random unrealistic "coincidences", I like it if it is believable or one of the characters needs to fully develop before confessing (I need to see them accepting themselves before accepting the love of others) if pinning is well done the ending is well deserved in the long run. The "starts off as a bicth" Yeah I don't like it, I DO enjoy good enemies to lovers because both have very distinct goals or morals but then understand the other's point of view. But if the character is just a bitch for being one without further character development... I don't like that.

In my case I don't have "least fav tropes" but I see these types of content/story/character... I'm closing the page right then and there: Power abuse, gaslighting, mental health being treated as an "accessory" (not depicted as seriously and delicately as it should be dealt), I don't hate it but it is not my fav the "love at first sight" ... I need to see and feel the foundation of a relationship before realizing it is love. and my biggest turn of is if the characters are super annoying or super ..what I call "empty pretty and annoying" Im sorry they could be the prettiest in the universe but if they don't have a personality and are annoying... is a big NO.

[matbaerzal]

Like This Pt.1 | T. Jost

Summary: Tyson is the best roommate you could ask for, you can't imagine ever living with someone else... no- no not like that, your relationship is purely platonic! > (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) A/N: First fic of the year hafsjkhf.... The reader studies Special Education, which will play a small part throughout this fic. Warnings: A short mention of sexual dreams Reader pronouns: she/her Words: 2,4K Tagging: @konecny-s @vitekvanecek @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 @ricohenrique @notaccurateornice @tysojost @justjosty ... lmk if you want to be tagged ❤️

As you reach the door to your apartment you shift your second grocery bag into your left hand before fishing your keys out of your pocket. You hurry to turn the key in your lock as your arms are tired from the heavy weight of the amount of food you’d bought. You huff out as you open the door, absent-mindedly throwing the keys on the side table as you set the groceries down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, can you give me a minute?” you hear Tyson speak as you take off your coat and shoes. In the corner of your eye, you see him put his phone down before pushing his chair back, standing up, and walking over.

“Hey, how was work?”

You huff out a breath in reply, and when you see him grab the groceries you almost try to object, but relief washes over you before you can. You follow him to the kitchen with the intent to sort the food so he can get back to what he was doing, but he brushes you away.

“Go sit down - relax” he gives you a pointed look.

“Thanks” you smile, hesitantly making your way to the couch.

“You hungry?” he speaks over his shoulder as you sit down.

“Very” your stomach grumbles as if on cue.

“I made some dinner earlier, want me to heat it up for you?”

“Don’t you have an interview” you shout back.

“Eh, they can wait” he shrugs

Without waiting for you to reply he takes out the tupperware from the fridge before putting it in the microwave. Once it’s heated up he brings it over to you, along with a glass of water before he gets back to his interview, apologizing profusely to the journalist on the other end of the call for keeping them waiting.

Living with Tyson had its ups and downs, but all in all the two of you fit together well as roommates. You’d met him during his first year in Colorado, back then you were living on campus. You’d planned to move in with a friend of yours, but after she graduated she got a job offer in another state and decided to move, leaving you practically homeless as there was no way you’d be able to afford to live on your own at the time - and there was no chance that you were ever moving in with your dorm room roommate again. Tyson offered for you to stay with him for at least a little bit until you figured things out. Then he realized he really liked having you around. You’d hesitated, thinking he was just trying to be nice, before he practically begged you to stay.

Hundreds of comments from friends asking if you’re dating or having sex later, you’re still living with him - not dating, not having sex, never even having kissed, and neither of you wanted to cross that line. With the way you and Tyson clicked, there were a lot of people who had trouble believing you were just friends, but at this point, you felt like you knew each other too well. All your dirty laundry had been aired out between the two of you - both literally and figuratively. The smell of his week-old workout sweat in the laundry room was enough to put you off. It wouldn’t be fair to say it hadn’t crossed your mind though. Objectively he is very attractive - you can’t deny that - perhaps, maybe your mind traveled places as he walked out of the bathroom after a shower with only a towel wrapped around him. You knew for a fact that he’d thought about you too, having drunkenly admitted to you that he had a dream about you once - which explained that one morning where he wouldn’t meet your eye and couldn’t have gotten out of the door quicker.

But neither of you ever acted on your attraction, it was pushed into the back of your minds - ignored completely. Because that’s all it was, an attraction, and nothing more.

You watch him as he continues his interview, zoning out as you eat your food. You hear every tone of his voice, completely focused on him but at the same time not registering a single thing he’s saying. It’s only when he looks over at you that you’re shaken out of it.

“Is it alright?” he whispers, covering the microphone.

You shake your head as you're brought back to the real world, it takes your brain a few seconds to catch what he said and your cheeks feel warm as he chuckles - “Hm?”

“The food? Is it alright?”

“Mm, yeah” you take another bite, resting the fork in the food container as you reach for the TV remote to distract yourself.

You’d been swamped with work lately, between your studies and your part-time job as a teaching assistant, you barely had time to take a breather. Your third year studying Special Education at the University of Denver was hectic, any time not spent at work or on campus or studying at home was spent either eating or sleeping in your bed. Tyson could see how tired you were whenever you came home, he always cooked a little extra for his dinner so you wouldn’t go to bed without eating first. His mediocre pasta meals always tasted like heaven after the long days you had.

By the time Tyson plops down on the couch you’re finished eating and zoned out on an episode of New Girl.

“Do you have any plans on Sunday?” he asks and you shake your head - “just studying, writing”.

“Wanna come to the game? I completely get it if you just want to stay in-”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to” you perk up, you hadn’t been to a game in who knows how long and you’d put aside your assignments at least for a little while if Tyson ever asked you to. He never had to ask before, you’d come whenever you had time, but it’d been seven weeks now - Tyson kept count.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Tys, really” you pat his thigh - keeping your hand there a touch longer before removing it when you meet his soft eyes.

--

You wake up late on Sunday, head stuck to the pillow, body hesitant to leave the bed. You’d already woken up once and decided to sleep longer so you force yourself out of bed, put some clothes on and go to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. Just as you get the milk from the fridge your apartment door opens, signaling that Tyson’s home from his morning skate.

“Good morning” he smirks at you, his eyes running over your thrown-together outfit and noting the remnant of sleep in your eyes.

You nod, trying to speak through the mouthful you just took, making Tyson squint his eyes in a laugh. He waits patiently for you to finish so you can repeat your question to him - “how was the skate?”

“It was alright, easily gonna have a nap after I eat though”

“Want some cereal?” you arch your brow. He stops and thinks for a second, contemplating if he should say yes, or make his usual scrambled eggs - “you know what? Yeah” he decides. You raise your brows at him, about to make a comment but he interrupts you. “Yeah, yeah pour me a bowl before I change my mind”.

You hold your hands up - “wasn’t gonna say anything” you try, but he doesn’t look convinced. You rush to get him a bowl and a spoon, setting them down for him, pouring in some cereal as he comes over to sit next to you on your kitchen island. He pours the milk himself before lifting the bowl to clink against yours, muttering “cheers” before taking a spoonful into his mouth.

You sit in comfortable silence as you eat your food, moving around each other as you put the bowls in the sink to worry about later. You walk to the couch and open your laptop to get some work done before you have to get ready for the game.

“Do you ever take a break?” Tyson yawns, laying down on the couch next to you, his head landing on a pillow close by your thighs.

You figure his questions rhetorical, but his eyes stay on you as you start typing away on your essay. “I’m taking a break later, y’know, at the game”

“No, I mean like a real break, like flat out on the couch, books closed-”

“You’re funny”

“I’m serious”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have time for breaks Tys”

He goes quiet after that, a thoughtful look on his face as he settles into the couch, your eyes linger on him for a moment before you go back to writing your essay. It doesn’t take long for his breath to get heavy, the small snores escaping him making you smile. As you skim through an article you might use for your essay your free hand finds his hair - his curls too soft to resist running your hand through. His snoring stops as your hand first makes contact making you freeze, but he’s nuzzling into the pillow and snoring again before you know it.

Even after you’ve read the article your hand stays in his hair and you do your best to type with one hand, only opting to use your right hand when absolutely necessary. You were in tweaking stages so luckily you could keep one hand planted in his hair most of the time. You’re checking the clock here and there, knowing he didn’t set an alarm and that he didn’t like napping too long on game days, but just as you’re about to wake him he leans into your touch, eyes slowly blinking open as he hums, absentmindedly you brush his hair away from his forehead - “sleep well?”

“Like a baby” he smiles, “what time is it?”

“uh, two-thirty” you glance over at the little clock on your computer.

He leans into your hand one more time as if to savor the feel before he starts to get up, once on his feet he stretches his arms above his head, you can’t help but look as his t-shirt lifts to reveal his stomach, but you avert your eyes quickly and hope he doesn’t notice. If he did, he doesn’t comment, “want me to make dinner for you too?” he throws the words your way over his shoulder as he makes his way to the kitchen. “What’s on the menu?” you tease, fully well knowing the answer, even saying it with him once he replies - “chicken and pasta”.

You turn your head to look at him, and he can’t bring himself to be annoyed at you when you smirk at him.

“Yeah, yeah” he brushes you off - “do you want some or no?”

“Yes, please” you smile.

He quickly makes the food, the recipe burned into his brain from making it time after time. He puts a little extra cheese on your plate, coming over to the couch with both plates once he’s done. You close your computer, place it to the side, and take the plate he hands to you with ease. Once your plates are scraped it’s time for Tyson to get ready, change into his suit and leave for the arena.

He walks out of his room wearing one of his three-piece suits and if you didn’t have the restraint you’d built up over the time you’d lived with him you’re sure you would’ve drooled at the sight. You’d think he was doing it on purpose, but you’d never let your weakness for the vest-jacket pairing slip, and he looks oblivious as he meets your eyes. The little spin he does for you does nothing to help and you have to give yourself credit for being so collected when he raises his brows as if to ask: “Is this alright?”.

“Looking good, Tys. I’ll see you after the game” you get off the couch as you speak and give him a quick hug, his phone pinging with a message signaling that JT is waiting for him downstairs as you break away.

“See you later,” he says.

“Kick some Dallas butt.”

He laughs as he walks through the door leaving you to yourself. You don’t wait long until you start getting ready yourself, not being able to focus on your writing with the anticipation of the game in the back of your mind. You put your lucky Avalance hoodie on, grabbing your coat before leaving with more than enough time to catch the warm-ups. There’s a couple of familiar faces there when you arrive. You’d met the players’ girlfriends a few times, mostly in this exact setting and you fell right back into the group again. You felt for them, having to watch their boyfriends play such an unpredictable sport. You guess you could imagine how it felt at least a little, living with Tyson and all, but the energy they brought to every game was admirable.

The game was tight, the boys fell behind in the first period but in the second and third they were no doubt the better team, but the puck just wouldn’t go in the net. With ten minutes left they manage to tie it and with 5 minutes left Tyson takes a tripping penalty. They killed the penalty and scored not long after to secure the win, but you could see Tyson beating himself up over the penalty that could’ve cost them the game. The look on his face as he sat in the penalty box is something you keep in the back of your mind as you leave with the girls to meet him.

He’s one of the first ones to come out of the locker rooms, head hanging low. Gabe pats him on the shoulder before he greets his wife, Tyson throws a forced smile towards his captain that seems genuine to anyone that doesn’t know him the way you do. The smile reaches his eyes once he sees you though and he drapes his arm over your shoulder when he reaches you, leading you towards the garage - “Let’s go home”

To be continued...

---- Copyright © @matbaerzal (2021)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all ���thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

[meruz]

i was gonna draw tonight but i dropped my tablet pen and the barrel of the pen broke off and flew somewhere underneath (??) my bed (?) and now i cant find it so I’m just gonna answer asks before bed instead. just some art asks and more mentions of infinity train LOL

What program and brushes do you use when making your art?

@ravki hi! part of this is in my FAQ but i’ll say it again anyways LOL: I use photoshop CC and have used photoshop for pretty much....my whole art career. I’ve dabbled in clip and paint tool sai in the past but photoshop is my true wife, we eloped away from her awful father adobe many years ago and are very happy together. 

as for brushes... I should prob put this info in my FAQ too lol,... my default brush set is actually free to download here! Tho I will say I also use steve ahn’s storyboarding brush sometimes and lately i’ve been using shiyoon kim’s brushes A TON. Shiyoon’s cost a couple bucks but they’re super worth it imo

How do you choose colors?

This is kind of a difficult one to describe from scratch but hmm.... I’ll put it this way. Generally when I go into coloring or painting something I already have some colors in mind. Like for a certain piece I know I want a bright green, or a magenta, or a dark blue in certain areas. A lot of the time I know a mood I want. So I’ll start with that core color tone and build around it. I’ll use an example from a recent piece

So you can see here that the first color I accessed was that bright cyan. So I start with that bright cyan and then bring in its “friends” in the form of analogous colors (shown below on the far left)

greens greys etc. THEN I know I want the characters to stand out against all the blue so I start laying down warm contrasting colors for them (middle group). the mat under them is orange, skin tones are warm, ryans flannel is red etc. then to get them to work together I work more cool colors into the shadows and slightly warmer (not too warm because its a cool img overall so in this case, greener LOL) colors into highlights. 

hope that makes sense? for me choosing colors is a lot about story and composition. If you know what you want to say, the mood you want to create, where you want to go, the path to get there becomes a lot clearer imo.

Have you ever considered making an art book?

I have! But I don’t think I currently have enough...original illustrations for one LOL? Not that an art book has to be all original work but if I were putting fanart in an art book...at that point I’d just make a fanzine. I’m making more original work lately though so maybe this year....? Who knows. For now, I do have a sketchbook up on gumroad. Hoping to do one of those next year too.

Any tips for keeping background drawings from getting super stiff, especially since things like interiors have a lot of straight lines?

This is a really interesting ask. Really great question that I don’t think gets asked enough - forgive me if I get a bit art school here but I drew up some examples.

First I think we have to investigate the assumption that straight lines make things stiff. That seems true on an instinctual level and certainly proves to be true very often But I don’t think its actually the straight lines themselves but the sort of arrangements and compositions they tend to dictate. Take this for instance.

pretty big difference, right? there’s a couple things that make a composition feel stiff and one of the most significant is lines that are perpendicular and parallel to the frame. it feels locked in and solid, like bricks. but the moment you shift these angles even a little the composition instantly becomes more dynamic because our innate senses of weight, gravity, and directionality can sense movement.

But it’s not just diagonals let’s take this one step further

when lines meet and terminate together those tangents can flatten and lock space so the best way to solve this is with overlap and complete intersection, forms continuing past or behind each other feel more layered and less like a flat mosaic... again, even in the simplest line drawings. So how do we apply this to a background?

ok I drew this really fast so its potentially not the best example but I think the idea is there. This space isn’t even particularly deep, it’s basically a room, a doorway, and a hallway behind it, and we’re not seeing that much of any of those things LOL. but when you draw an environmental object like a doorway in a way that lines up with the perpendicular and parallel lines of the canvas you’re automatically flattening it and making it look rigid.

and when you create tangents with objects and characters you flatten the space around them and make it difficult to tell what is actually in front or behind or if they’re on the same plane.

GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. Anyways. avoid those things and you’ll instantly have less stiff bgs no matter what kind of bg you’re depicting.

I wanna mention however that this isn’t to say a stiff bg with flat space doesn’t have its purposes.

sometimes you want to create parallels and tangents. it can make characters feel closed in, trapped, regimented, part of a routine, etc. it’s also great for making a composition look ornamental (especially combined with symmetry).

directors like wes anderson can even use these compositional elements to make images feel uncanny or harrowing! its very versatile. I think the important thing is to just be aware of when you are making something rigid and when that’s the last thing you want to do. conscious choices.

Can you speak Tagalog?

@lemuelzero101​ I can! BUT NOT VERY WELL LOL ;;; both my parents are from Visayas! but they met and had me in the states lol so I’m pretty American born and raised. We go back to visit family on occasion but not regularly. My tagalog is mostly absorbed from listening to relatives at parties lol and my parents speak bisaya at home so I’m marginally better at that. Sorry to any filipinos out there hoping I’d be better educated, I’m like a little baby...

I do love meeting and talking to other filipinos online though, I grew up in an area that was relatively diverse but the asian population was small and the filipino population basically non-existent. I was like one of maybe 2 filipino kids in my highschool of 2000.

Apart from infinity train what shows are you watching now? Have you seen jujitsu kaisen?

Man this is gonna sound so boring but I haven’t watched a lot of tv lately.  It’s not really part of my daily routine. Let’s see... I was sort of watching Amphibia, Craig of the Creek, and the new Digimon Adventure 2020 but I keep falling off watching those for one reason or another. Also there’s a lot of episodes, it doesn’t feel like something I can just binge and be done with.

The last thing I binged was Succession. I want that show and Euphoria back so bad, when I’m done forcing all my friends to watch Infinity Train im cancelling my HBO subscription until Succession and Euphoria return so they know exactly what I’m on their list for LOL. 

I have not watched jujitsu kaisen but I’ve kept up with some of the sakuga news (I keep up with anime industry news and production info like x5 the amt i keep up with actual anime) for it and their compositing/editing looks dope. I’ve read the manga actually LOL or at least part of the beginning. I wasn’t super keen on the whole finger eating thing. Also to be honest I kinda feel like its the new Bleach and I never particularly cared about Bleach. Characters look nice enough tho. I wholeheartedly support jjk fans.

Thank you! Thank you @keznodzieja​! <3

And thank you anons who don’t watch infinity train LOL...it’s always nice to hear when people enjoy my fanart despite not knowing the source material because it lifts a little bit of the “oh god am I being annoying???” fear off my chest. But also I think you should watch infinity train because it’s really good I have no reservations recommending it.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol consumption, allusions to sex

A/N: so you know how last chapter i said there was going to be like 4 chapters left…sorry i lied. as much as it pains me to admit since i’m so attached to this little family, i feel this story is coming to its natural end and i don’t want to drag it out (i may do one-shots of this series in the future though!) that being said, this is the second to last chapter. i appreciate all of your continued support throughout this series <3

Masterlist

Chapter 36

You opened the front door to the house after your therapy appointment. You had been making a lot of progress.

Spencer and the kids used to go with you and then wait at the park across the street until you were done but you had decided that this time you could go alone. Spencer hugged you tightly before you left and said how proud of you he was, reminding you of your calming exercises for the waiting room, and to call him if you got too overwhelmed. Luckily, your anxiety had not gotten the better of you and your appointment went fine.

You could hear the opening notes to Golden by Harry Styles playing. Once the beat dropped, you heard Spencer say, “Okay, go babies, go!”

You rounded the corner to see Spencer conducting a dance party for the twins in their bouncy jumpers and Jo who was wearing her Rapunzel dress.

“Ollie,” Spencer crouched down to the rather stationary baby, “Look at your sisters! See, copy them! We’ll all bounce.”

While Ophelia was very audible and energetic, Ollie was more reserved. This concerned you and Spencer a bit because he would hardly cry and you had no idea what was going on with him or if he needed anything.

As Spencer backed up to start dancing as well, you pulled out your phone and hit record just in time to see Spencer accidentally bounce into the couch and trip and fall flat on his face.

Ollie giggled. Spencer shot up from the ground. Ollie had never done that before. Ophelia’s first laugh was a few weeks ago but nothing seemed to be funny enough for Ollie until his Daddy fell.

Spencer scrambled to get his phone, “Jo, can you record for Mommy? I’m going to fall again.”

You decided this was the time to make your presence known.

“That won’t be necessary,” you announced with a smile, ending the video you took.

“You heard?” Spencer beamed.

“Yep, got it on video too,” you walked over to the jumpers and lifted up Ollie, giving him a bunch of kisses, “You were really going to hurt yourself again just so I could have a video of our son laughing?”

“Absolutely, I was,” he grinned.

“You’re an idiot,” you chuckled.

“You’re the one who fell in love with an idiot,” he replied.

“I guess that makes us both idiots then,” you sighed happily.

“But idiots in love,” he kissed you.

You blew a raspberry and tickled Ollie’s little belly and he started giggling hysterically again.

-

Spencer was with twins on the floor on a blanket doing some ‘tummy time’ while Jo sat on the couch watching cartoons.

“Why can’t me and the babies come with you and Mommy for dinner like we usually do?” Jo asked.

“Because a year ago today, Mommy and I got married so we want to go out to a fancy restaurant and celebrate our love for each other. But, we’ll go out together as a family soon again and Uncle Derek and Auntie Penelope will be watching you tonight.”

“Okay,” Jo instantly agreed.

You clicked down the stairs in your high heels, carefully holding the railing. Spencer stood to help and offered his hand to you for support.

You were dressed in a midi A-line black corset dress with a white floral design.

“You look absolutely stunning as usual, my love,” he kissed your hand.

“As do you, my husband of officially a year,” you beamed.

He kissed you on the lips this time as the door opened.

“Kids night!” Penelope exclaimed, running into the house with Derek in tow. “I brought board games, ice cream, and every Disney movie DVD I own.”

“Auntie Penelope!” Jo hugged her and then Derek.

Then, Penelope turned to you both, “What are you guys still doing here?”

“Emergency numbers are on the fridge. We’ll both have our phones on the whole time,” you repeated the information you had told them many times before as you were pushed out the door by Penelope.

“Oh, also recent development!” Spencer added as he tried to resist Derek’s pushing, “The twins are avid crawlers now so if you set them down for a second and look away, they’ll be gone.”

“Good to know. Enjoy your night, you two,” Derek winked as he shut the door.

“So where are we going?” you asked as you walked hand and hand to the car.

Spencer opened the passenger side door for you, “We are going to the restaurant where we had our first date, my dear,” he smiled.

-

Spencer had rented a private patio for the two of you with lit candles, fairy lights, and a bouquet of wildflowers similar to the one you carried down the aisle a year ago.

You gasped when you saw the set-up, “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you more, Mrs. Reid.”

You and Spencer ordered the exact same dishes that you got on your first date for maximum nostalgia.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about,” Spencer spoke mid-meal.

You set your fork down to show him he had your full attention.

“So I was thinking about what I want to do this summer. You’re off of work for the summer so we’ll both be home with the kids. I figured I should take up some sort of project to keep my mind stimulated,” he explained.

“Go on...” you took a sip of your wine.

“I think I want to become an author,” he stated.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. Any idea what genre?” you smiled softly.

“At first, I was thinking about something related to my time at the BAU but then I realized I’ve had enough of that as is and I don’t feel like reliving it. Now, I’m thinking more along the lines of fiction because during all my years of schooling, I never really got to explore my creative side. I think a kid’s book could be fun for me to write. And I could work on it whenever the kids were napping or at school,” he explained to you.

“Whatever makes you happy, love. I can’t wait to read what that beautiful brain of yours comes up with,” you grinned, “This also makes my gift for you even better.”

“Y/N, we agreed no gifts,” he rolled his eyes playfully.

“It’s just something small that made me think of you,” you pouted, reaching into your purse.

You handed him something wrapped in a thin layer of pale purple tissue paper. Inside was a beautiful leather journal. It had a quote inscribed on it.

‘Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken away from us; it is a gift’ -Dante Alighieri

“You just saw this and happened to think of me?” he asked, amused, “How is it customized with our initials and wedding date then?”

“Fine,” you relented, “I ordered it off Etsy a while ago.”

“Good thing I also didn’t listen to our agreement,” he smirked, “But mine isn’t as sentimental and it’s really a gift for us both.”

“I’ll love it just the same,” you assured him.

“We are not going home tonight. The fairy godmother volunteered her and Derek’s services all night so I booked us a room at a bed and breakfast and I already packed you a bag in the backseat of the car.”

You started stuffing pasta into your mouth, “Eat faster. I want to go as soon as possible.”

Spencer chuckled at your eagerness.

-

Spencer felt you trying to sneak out of bed to get your phone.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled at the loss of your warmth.

“I just want to check on the kids. This is our first night away from the twins,” you grabbed your phone, putting on Spencer’s button up, and facetiming Penelope.

She picked up on the second ring, “Hello, my lovely.”

“Hey, Pen. Are the kids behaving for you guys?”

“Yes. They’re all sleeping soundly now. Me and Derek are just binging episodes of The Bachelorette now.”

“That’s great to hear. No spoilers though!”

“How is your night going?” she inquired.

“It’s good, it’s good. Dinner was nice. The hotel is nice,” you tried to avoid the obvious.

“Y/N, your makeup is completely smudged and I can see the collar of Spencer’s shirt around your neck,” she replied.

You heard Derek laughing in the background, “Proud of you, lover boy.”

“Okay, we’ll see you in the morning,” Spencer hung up the phone for you.

“What did you do that for?”

“Round 2,” he smirked.

taglist (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @doctorreiding @reidsfish

[magireco]

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!! 

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc... 

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka... 

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation. 

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them. 

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!