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strawberryya · 2 years ago

Text

ghost in the machine

s.coups x reader

synopsis: Secrets can only be kept as secrets for so long, everyone knows this. Yet when 5.C0UP5 came in contact with someone he never should have even known existed this notion seemed as foreign as his own name. Perhaps there exists another way of life even for him, or maybe it was all a dream too big to dream of.

word count: 20k

genre/contains: sci-fi au, AI-idol au, automaton!seungcheol, angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, found family, afab and gn!reader, general smut warnings for oral and penetrative sex, nothing kinky except being eaten out while talking on the intercoms and some almost being caught moments, big fight

rating: 18+

a/n: this has taken a long time to finish, but it also turned out to be my longest fic to date and I'm a bit proud that i managed to actually complete what i had in mind :> thank you @idyllic-ghost for proof reading and for the banner !!

collab link to read the other amazing fics from @idyllic-ghosts genius collab!

Network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

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“100 years ago it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was, none of the planets in our former solar system were ever destroyed. The Earth, along with the other planets, were pushed away from each other and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight. However, the aliens were welcoming to our planet. Those of us who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens, were welcomed into the new solar system. Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister planets in exchange for human labor. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automaton, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t. Eventually, there was no need for human labor at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be. At the present time, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities. The Automaton music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN) is made up of 13 members, all very talented, and all representing two human states of mind.”

Pride. It was one side of 5.C0UP5 state of mind, and he felt it often. He felt it whenever he looked at his members, he felt it whenever he performed on stage in front of blinding lights and roaring crowds, and he felt it when he looked at you.

Yet, the other side of the coin of his pre-programmed personality was what crushed him every single day. Everything he took pride in having accomplished, was completely tarnished by a single thought about your lips on his skin. The shame was unbearable.

You had never been meant to get close to him, he was not supposed to be close to anyone. He knew this better than anyone. As the leader of 53V3NT33N he was the one to keep everyone in check. He was meant to set a good example and be the perfect level 1 automaton at all times. For years he kept his promise to everyone, he continued to avoid all things that could ruin his reputation and go against his lifelong contract which he had become bound to the moment he had been created. It hadn’t been easy, but he had taken pride in being the perfect and flawless leader for his members.

That guilty feeling in his gut came back once again as he left the dorm with his manager. “Lookin’ good,” he heard the voice of one of his members play in his ear. J30NGHΛN stood, next to some of his staff members across the lobby, curiously looking at 5.C0UP5. “Going somewhere fun today?” he said and pushed the communication device on his chest, letting 5.C0UP5 hear his every word.

“You’re too curious J30NGHΛN,” he said with a smile, “We’re just gonna get some pictures at a café for this week’s posts.” It was one of the few things he did a couple of times a year, even under the strict surveillance of his company and its staff. No matter what, he had to sell the fantasy of himself to millions of people all around the universe.

“Oh, I see… have fun,” J30NGHΛN said with a tone that made 5.C0UP5 feel his fingers, the chirping sound of his voice making him conscious of his own existence in a way he despised. the damn wink didn’t help. It was as if he knew something. Maybe everyone knew? 5.C0UP5 shook his head and began walking towards the exit along with his manager. He felt his members’ curious gaze following him as he left. Maybe the secrets were beginning to take their toll on his mind. He knew he was supposed to keep his emotions in check, the overpowering of one of his programmed human states of mind would be his demise. They had told him that much. Yet again, he told himself the same words he had spent so many days and nights telling himself. Nobody knows.

Luckily, the café that had been chosen for today was only a couple blocks away. The cold sweat that ran down his back went unnoticed by the staff accompanying him in the shuttle used by the members whenever they needed to go to filming locations and individual shoots.

“Let’s order some smaller stuff and get the shoot over with, we don’t have all day,” one of the managers announced, making 5.C0UP5 nod with a forced smile before he went back to looking out the window. His hand fell to his side, feeling the hard outline of his phone in his pocket.

Entrusted to him by the company, he had been allowed to have a small flip phone. It was ancient. They used to have them in the old world, but even by the start of “The Great Journey” the technology was seen as outdated. By the current standards, however, the phone he had been granted was not worth much more than the shoelace on his sneakers. To him though, it was priceless.

He was nervous now, his hands felt clammy, and his shoulders were tense as he walked into the café along with the staff members. One of them hurried off to the counter and placed your orders while 5.C0UP5 and two others made their way towards the corner table. The young couple currently sitting at the table were quickly removed by the staff members. It was routine, nothing more than a sentence informing the couple of why they needed to get up was given before they were chased off by the staff members threatening presence.

He would never get used to that, the way others were treated around him as he stood by, powerless to intervene. Every time he felt ashamed of being the reason the rest of the population had to accommodate whatever his company, his owners, deemed profitable. It didn’t matter if it was evacuating an entire city block to film a music video where the buildings crumbled around the members, or something as insignificant as taking over a table at a popular café. The guilt was always there.

The young couple hastily gathered their belongings and one of the waiters came over and cleaned up the table, apologies for the mess constantly pouring from their lips. Level 3 automatons could get fired for something like this, but at the same time, 5.C0UP5 couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy as he watched the worker get back to his place behind the counter. Maybe life would be better if he too was a lower-level automaton, he found himself thinking as he sat down and was served the beverage and piece of dessert that the staff had ordered for him. He would be freer in a way…

“5.C0UP5, let’s go.”

He picked up the drink in his hand, the cold from the iced drink bringing his mind away from his thoughts and back into reality where a staff member had just fixed the collar of his shirt and fixed his hair which had been ruffled by the wind. “Look over there,” the staff said as another one snapped hundreds of pictures as he moved around on his chair. The rehearsed smiles, the sip of the drink, and the way he leaned toward the camera all satisfied the staff it seemed. He was good at his job, and acting like a down-to-earth boyfriend at a café was just another part of his job.

What wasn’t part of his job, however, was when he felt a buzz in his pocket and without a second thought spilled half his drink across his thighs, the fabric covering his knees now the color of his drink. “Oh!” he shouted, “I’m sorry. I’ll go clean up real fast and we can continue like nothing happened, I’m so sorry, I’ll fix it!” he hurried to say before any of the staff members could even comprehend the situation he had just created. Hastily, 5.C0UP5 rose from the chair and left his staff confused and shocked at the table. “Fuck- someone go watch the door, no one else can be in there at the same time he is.” he heard them say behind his back as he hurried off towards the door to the bathroom.

There were multiple doors inside the bathroom, each leading to a small bathroom. He didn’t know where to go, he didn’t know where he was supposed to be. He didn’t need to look very far because as he approached the second door to the right it opened for only a moment and a hand pulled him forcefully through the opening. “Finally,” a person said with a smile before they kissed him passionately in the low light of the lightbulb attached to the dark mosaic tiles above the sink. 5.C0UP5 entire body heated up from within as his lips pressed against those familiar soft lips he knew belonged to you.

He had dreamed of those very lips every night since he first got to kiss them all those months ago. “Hi,” he whispered and let the corners of his mouth turn up in the most genuine smile he had had all day.

“Hi…” you answered and giggled softly, feeling his warm hands on your cheeks as he held you and kissed you once again, softly and as if to make you feel how much he had missed you as he held your lips locked against his.

“Are you meeting up with that secret fuck buddy of yours?” Lana joked as you scrambled to grab your phone and keys on your way out for lunch break.

The office supply store was empty at this hour, and you had thirty minutes until you had to be back again; the perfect amount of time for a quick meetup with Cheol. You had to be back in time to release Lana, your co-worker, and close friend, from her shift and let her take her own lunch break since your boss had deemed it necessary to have the store manned at all hours of the day.

Or, well, 5.C0UP5 if you were fussy about things like that. That was his real name, his legal name. To you, however, he was Seungcheol. It had been months since you had called the wrong number in your hurry to order a pizza after work, starving and sleep-deprived as you were at the time you hadn’t been looking too closely at the numbers you were putting into the keypad on your phone. Luckily for you, the craving for pizza that night had led you to discover something new that you soon began craving much more and much more often - him.

His enchanting voice had caught you off guard that first night, and his confused and cautious “Who is this?” had, incredibly enough, been the starting point of you two talking every chance you got since then. Late nights chatting away on, what you have to admit were very sketchy websites, and the occasional call which was made with hushed voices and both of your hearts pounding away, had been most of your relationship. It sometimes felt like an imaginary relationship, since no one could know who he was, and even more importantly - know who you were to him.

“He’s not my fuck buddy, he’s…” you retorted.

“See, do you even know what he thinks you two are? You won’t even show me any pictures of him, is he super ugly or something?” Lana shouted as you hurried towards the back door.

“Shut up! I’ll see you later!” you yelled and the door slammed shut behind you. The back alley was filled with trash and scrap metal. The teenage boy from the large family who lived atop the store was smoking as he kicked bolts around on the ground. He looked up as you passed, and an uncomfortable feeling in your gut appeared as you felt him watch you while you exited the back alley and went onto the bustling street. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you fished it up.

Unknown. 12.31.

“I’ll be there in 10, leaving now.”

It was from Cheol. You wouldn't be getting any more updates from him until tonight, at least he had confirmed that he would be coming. Quickly you deleted the text from your phone and put the phone back into your pocket as a strange sense of being watched made the skin on your neck prickle. You looked around, moving your shoulders as if to shake the feeling away.

You hurried away and towards the café, the uncomfortable feeling still haunting you as you entered the café and headed straight to the restroom.

Would he come this time?

You could never be certain. He always did his best to keep his promises, but if the circumstances wouldn’t allow him to leave the group of managers that always circled him whenever he stepped outside the shiny company doors, keeping you a secret was more important. It didn’t hurt any less whenever he stood you up though.

Knowing that his reasons for acting as he did were because of his status as a level 1 automaton had shaken you to the core at first, but it had also been a relief. He had told you who he was after a couple of weeks when you had become convinced you had accidentally begun an affair with a married man, he had been forced to confess his real identity. At least you weren’t a home wrecker, was the thought that helped you reconcile with the fact that he would never be free to live a normal life with you.

Now you were seated on the toilet seat cover, your ear pressed to the door, your hand on the handle ready to pull it open. Time moved slower than usual, but your heartbeat was racing along with your mind.

Then you heard him, it was undeniably his voice that made its way past the music, chatting, and the coffee machines. He was coming to you. You could barely hear when he opened the first door into the restrooms over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears. Without a second thought, you opened the door enough to register the man you had thought about all too often lately and pulled him by the arm inside the small bathroom you had occupied. His biceps tensed as you pulled him and your body lit on fire because of it. God, he was so wonderfully big. Everything from his biceps to his cock was just so perfectly huge, and you went mad any time you thought about it. You kissed him in a passionate kiss, pressing your entire body against his. You fit so well together, his hands on your face and yours wrapped around his body.

You wanted more, you wanted all of him, all the time. You wanted to cry because you knew you couldn't have him. With tears pricking your eyes you let Seungcheol pull back to look into your eyes.

“Hi,” he whispered and smiled. You said hi back softly before the excitement and the giggles overtook your lips. You kissed him again, this time he saw to it that it was a soft and gentle kiss. A small wince left your throat, making Seungcheol quickly turn on the faucet, hoping it would drown out any noises. “Sorry,” you mumbled against his plush lips.

“Don’t worry, it’s partially my fault,” he said pridefully.

You were about to laugh, but instead, you pushed up his shirt, exposing his perfectly sculpted upper body to your touch. “Fuck you,” you said under your breath.

“‘Fuck me please’ is what you meant, yeah?” he cockily corrected you without missing a beat, flipping you both so you stood with your back against the wall he had been facing away from. You gasped as he lifted you off the ground with the wall helping to pin you between his stiff cock and the cold and hard wall.

He was right, even though you hadn’t allowed yourself to get your hopes up, you had been feeling unusually needy lately. The thoughts of him filling you up in any way constantly on your mind, you were already turned on as you entered the café with the small promise of him setting foot in there to meet you later.

“Please, fuck me,” you gasped out, feeling your arousal soak your underwear at the thought of his girthy cock inside of you. “I need you to be quiet,” he mumbled against your lips.

At this, you nodded fervently. Finally, you would feel him stretching you open again, bruising your insides with the force of his strokes like you had dreamt of after every single time you had managed to get together like this before. The moments were rare, but you made the most of the short time you had, to say the least.

His tongue quickly found yours as he ground you on his erection, eliciting a low moan and making you open your mouth for him to enter. Warm hands wandered your body, his gentle touch making you swoon as he held you with so much love, while the promise of him fucking you like the slut you were hung in the air.

A knock on the door, and both of you froze up, his bulge pressing right on your clit making it unbearable not to move. You winced only slightly as Seungcheol’s lips left yours, deciding to put your now lonely lips to use, kissing down his jaw and neck with soft little pecks and nibbles. “What?” Seungcheol asked over the sound of the water running, his tone a bit more agitated than he had intended. Not that he was at fault, he had a soaking cunt begging to be fucked right above his cock, and lips that made him go insane on his neck; someone disturbing him right now was not what he needed.

“How much longer do you need? We don’t have all day to wait around for a pair of pants to dry up.” the staff member on the other side of the door said, earning a sigh from Seungcheol.

After a moment of silence, he groaned and shouted towards the locked door. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I’ll be right out.”

No, you thought, your limbs holding onto the man who you had just only gotten a taste of even harder than before. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I need you to be patient for me until next time, can you be good for me and wait?” he mumbled against your hair, your lips still attached to the skin right below Seungcheol’s collar. “Yes,” you said against his neck, letting go of his skin in favor of burying your face in the warmth of his chest. He put you down on the floor, his arms releasing the back of your thighs and instead wrapping around your body. For just a moment he held you close until the buzzing of the dryer died out and he loosened his hold on you.

You pressed your body against the wall as Seungcheol unlocked the door and disappeared through it just as quickly as he had been pulled in through it.

“Sorry, it didn’t come off.” you heard him say through the doors.

“We can’t get the shots if you’re all messed up like this, let’s tell the crew that we’re going back instead. Come on 5.C0UP5.” The staff member who had been just a few steps away from you two while they waited outside the restroom door responded as the voices got fainter and blended into the sounds of the café.

You sat in silence with your hand on the door handle as his voice disappeared completely. In the beginning, you had enjoyed the thrill and noncommitment of him not being able to be there to be an actual boyfriend because of his work and position in life, you recalled as you felt all the emotions in your body dissolve into nothing.

A small pain in your chest was the only thing left. The late-night thoughts you whispered in the dark, and the messages you had sent each other that contained your deepest yearnings and your worst fears. They had gotten to you, and it didn’t help that whenever you got a taste of having him physically there with you, you rarely- never- wanted to let go. But you always had to.

“Enough wallowing, this isn’t changing anything,” you mumbled as you wiped your face from the wetness that had seeped from your eyes without you noticing. You needed to hurry back to relieve Lana from her shift you realized as you checked your watch, seeing that you were already supposed to be back at the store.

You didn’t waste much more time after that, hastily making your way out of the bathroom, checking behind you as you left the café to make sure nobody had paid any attention to you. Like a punch in the gut, the feeling of being watched returned as your eyes landed on a dark-clad figure staring at you through the shop window. He had no reason to follow you with his gaze as you hurried across the street, away from the café, away from the gut-wrenching feeling that something was awry.

He wasn’t looking at you, right? You were just getting too paranoid, that’s all, right?

5.C0UP5 had been daydreaming the entire way back to the company, his mind taking him back to the moments he could hold you in his arms. His body couldn’t ache for you, but his mind almost had him believing that he did. Some days, he almost believed himself to have a heart. A heart that broke each time he had to leave you behind.

It wasn’t until he got back to the dorms where he got a glimpse of his members, and friends since he had been put into this world, that he finally felt himself come down back to reality. They were everywhere, some he saw in the lobby along with their hoards of staff members just like his own. Some were in the dorms, sleeping, or at least in a state of being that looked like sleeping as they charged.

Others were nowhere to be found, not that he went looking. They could mind themselves, he knew they would never do anything to make him less proud of them. To 5.C0UP5, he was the bigger worry.

He was just about to let himself rest and recharge, to try and forget the pain in the back of his mind, haunting him even as he saw his members wandering the dormitories and the company hallways. You were always in the back of his mind, no matter what he did to try and forget. Somehow, he had accidentally let you in, and now you were half his world. The hidden side of the moon, the side which should always remain in darkness, no matter how closely you look.

A staff member who had left him just minutes ago as they entered the guarded company building came back, not even bothering to knock before they entered the room in which 5.C0UP5 sat on his bed. “5.C0UP5, you need to follow me, the CEO has something to talk to you about.”

It had happened before, he met with the CEO every once in a while. After all, he was the spokesperson for the group, even if they didn’t have many (any) rights, they still needed to have someone to be their voice. This time, however, the meeting wasn’t scheduled. The CEO wanted to have an impromptu meeting with him… his hand unconsciously fell against his left side pocket, worry filling his mind even though he tried to make sense of why he had been called in to talk to the management.

Even as he entered the large office of the CEO he had been in more times than he could count, something felt off. People he had never met sat in chairs all around the walls. Guards stood at the door, looking more tense than he had ever seen them before, and the CEO himself had the strangest expression he had ever worn. 5.C0UP5 waited until he was spoken to, as he had been instructed so many times before. Honoring the one who made sure he had the comfortable life he currently had was something he had been taught from the very first day he had opened his eyes.

“Hello 5.C0UP5.” the suit-clad man in the dark chair said. He spoke calmly, but not kindly. 5.C0UP5 picked up on his tone immediately.

“Hello, Sir,” he answered and bowed his head ever so slightly, his eyes never leaving the man in front of him. The room was dark, but the photos splayed out on the desk in front of the CEO finally caught 5.C0UP5’s eye. He could recognize them even at this distance and brightness. His head worked ceaselessly to find the moment it had begun, the moment they had found out. Because in front of the CEO, he could spot hundreds of pictures of the one person he wished they would never even see: you.

All that went through 5.C0UP5’s mind when he realized what had finally happened was fuck.

“I understand that you have been seeing this human for a while… did you think we wouldn’t find out?” the CEO said, almost laughing at him as he sat in his chair looking over the pictures, each one containing your face, at work, at the café from earlier that day, at home. They had you right under their nail, ready to remove you from the planet at any second. He wanted to scream.

The CEO cleared his throat before he threw the photo he held in his hand on the glass desk in front of him. “Now, unless you want us to eliminate this problem of yours, you will be rebooted first thing tomorrow.”

5.C0UP5 knew he wasn’t supposed to protest, he wasn’t even supposed to think anything other than “Yes, Sir,” but before he could stop himself he spoke his mind.

“Please, no… Why would you do that? It doesn’t make any sense. If I’m found breaking the rules, I’m to be demoted, not- not this!”

“Seventeen is currently the galaxy’s top band 5.C0UP5, and you are their leader, you have an image to uphold. And since you failed at doing this, we want to reboot your system, that way you will be able to stay and your group members' reputations won’t be tarnished, and most importantly. This little issue will be resolved because you won’t even remember this little human.”

The CEO wasn’t smiling as he had thought before, the CEO had never once smiled. His eyes were dead, nothing more than a ghost of a human left inside of him. At least 5.C0UP5 felt something, at least he could smile, at least he could love…

He could love. He had felt it. So why was he about to get punished for something his management swore he couldn’t feel? Hoped he couldn’t, might be more accurate, 5.C0UP5 realized.

“How did you know?” he asked, the glare he received was enough that the management had begun running out of patience for him already.

“Does it matter? We know everything about you.” the CEO answered curtly.

Just like that the pieces fell into place, they had known all along. He felt the piece of metal that clung to his chest like a stone, stuck in his body and destroying him from within. They had known all along… The upcoming release of their new comeback was what they were worried about, he soon realized. They had hoped he would stop of his own free will, after all, he had the personality trait of shame. He should’ve already ended whatever he had with you.

However, he hadn’t. And now it would become an issue if they didn’t handle it quickly and quietly.

Despite that, the thought that overpowered all others at that moment wasn’t about how small he felt as he realized the true power the company had over him, or how much he loathed the people who thought they had a right to control him. He could love. That was the loudest, and he wanted to scream it, make everyone hear him just this once. It made him proud, he could do something this human was incapable of, and now they wanted to take that away from him. No. There was no way he was going to let them do that to him as well. He clenched his fist at his side, should he fight?

“You can return to your rooms, they will come to get you soon,” the CEO declared and pushed the photos on his desk off the table, straight into the trash can underneath. 5.C0UP5 fists relaxed a bit, a new plan forming as he turned to leave the room with the stern guards following along. “Oh,” he heard the CEO say, “and leave the phone, you are no longer trusted to keep it with you even in case of emergencies. I hope you understand… you won’t need to understand in a bit.”

His jaw was frozen in place as he took the phone from his pocket and threw it towards the CEO. The guards jumped forward to grab his arms as the phone crashed into the table and tipped over a cup of metal pens that scattered all across the floor. “Leave us,” said the CEO without even flinching.

5.C0UP5 didn’t feel any shame as he was dragged out from the dark office, suit-clad strangers watching him with cold eyes as the doors slammed shut behind him. He was dragged until they were in the hallway where the crossroad between freedom and forever forgetting you were. “I can walk by myself,” he said with a growl he had never heard in his voice before. The guards let him stand alone, watchful eyes on him as they began walking again, one in front of him and one behind him now. It’s now or never, he thought, taking the shot as he saw it arise in front of him.

His mind barely registered the hands that tried to grab onto him, all his focus lay on the doors in the lobby and on getting there. He ran with all his might until he crashed into the doors that were too slow to open. The crack widened and he pushed himself out of the glass doors that opened just in time for him to keep staying ahead of the guards. Bright lights in all the colors of the rainbow lit up before him as he began running down the crowded streets. His eyes watered because of the wind, and the lights blurred into a kaleidoscope of light.

His body was designed to be agile and strong, he was designed to keep moving. Right now that felt like the biggest blessing he had ever received in his cursed life.

From the back of his mind, two things arose. The first was your apartment, he had only heard about it, you had described exactly how to get there in one of the late-night calls you had whispered to each other weeks ago. The second was those twelve faces which were all he had known for so long; his members would be left to deal with it all when he was gone. He knew them so well, and yet, none of them had even had a chance to become someone to get to know. He wanted to give them a chance. As he ran he shouted out the word “Run!”, pressed that button he had used so many times before in the middle of the device connected to his chest, and began tearing the peace of metal from his body. It took him a few tries before he managed to rip the entire thing off of his skin. It hurt more than he had imagined, the pain was brain-numbing and overwhelming. He almost had to stop, the pain making it hard to focus on making his legs move forward.

Nevertheless, he was free, the tracker was gone from his body, and with it was his only connection to the only family he had ever known.

He ran, and he didn’t stop running until he arrived at your apartment. They would know he was here, they knew everything. He needed to be quick. He ran up the stairs to your apartment, knocking aggressively on your door, shouting as loudly as he dared for you to open the door. It wasn’t long until the door swung open and he was close to tears as he saw your very shocked face looking back at his panicked state. The thing you had imagined, but since you had found out his true identity, always known would never happen, had happened. 5.C0UP5 was tired, but he needed to get away, and he wanted you to come with him.

“We need to leave, they’re coming for me. Please come with me,” he pleaded, his eyes begging you as his hands held your arms desperately.

“What did you do?” you said breathlessly.

“They were going to make me forget, make you… erase the issue… I couldn’t let them take this away from me too.”

You were speechless. “You ran.” He nodded. You didn’t even bother to say a word as you ran into your apartment, leaving 5.C0UP5 at the door. He had no idea if you were trying to find somewhere to hide or looking for something as he heard crashes and your voice shouting curses from further inside your small place. He needed to get out of there, but maybe… holding out hope was worthwhile it turned out. Minutes later, which felt like hours for 5.C0UP5, you reappeared at the door, backpack in hand and sweat gracing your hairline. You were running with him.

It wasn’t a hard decision, you weren’t close to your parents, and Lana would understand eventually… at least you hoped your coworker, and only close friend at this moment of your life, would understand if you ever survived to tell her and apologize for leaving without a word.

A small pain stabbed at your heart, leaving everything for an automaton on the run. Everything you had ever known for this man… It felt insane at the moment, and it felt even more insane as you felt Cheol squeeze your hand which you had been holding since you took it, and began running towards the docks. You sat in the cold of the night on a hard bench next to Cheol. In a bit, a ship would arrive. Crowded places felt like a good idea at first, but now, the paranoia set in. Was that old man over there looking a bit too long at Cheol? Didn’t those surveillance cameras follow them as they walked onto the docks?

The hand in yours pressed gently against your skin, helping you stay at least a bit sane as the weight of what you were doing was already beginning to tug at your strength. You thought it best to focus on the plan instead.

“Let’s get on this ship, hop off at the airport, and get on another ship there. That way we can get off this planet because the sooner the better right?”

“Yeah, but don’t you think they will be looking for me at all the docks and airports?” Cheol said quietly.

He was right of course, they would be looking for the escaped automaton at all the exits of this world they could think of.

“Maybe if we…” You tried, but you didn’t know how you would get away if his company's staff members were to hunt them down anywhere on the planet. “Damn. Do you know that it’s incredibly difficult to go on a trip with you?” you deadpanned. The moment was horrible, but also perfect. It made Cheol smile, something you hadn’t seen the entire way from the moment you opened the door until now.

It helped keep your mind off of the horrible situation and the impending doom.

“It is,” he chuckled, “I never thought it would become an issue though.”

“But here we are,” you said and sighed. Cheol leaned against you, his large arm pushing against your side, making a smile split across your face.

“I don’t think we should get on one of the commercial airlines… we need something more private,” Cheol mumbled.

“How would we get a hold of a ship of our own? We don’t have the money for that…”

“We’ll figure it out…”

“We have a lot to figure out from now on, Cheol,” you said and let your head fall against his shoulder, resting your heavy mind on his strong frame. He hummed, the sound comforting you even while you thought about all the ways you could get killed while on the run.

The submarine came soon enough, and you both got on without a hitch. If you were being followed, they weren’t coming out of the shadows just yet. The cold light from inside the ship lit up the dark water around the underwater tracks that held the boat in place as it brought commuters across the sea each day and night. Under the high waves had turned out to be much easier than above them, especially nowadays. The storms had become worse in the last couple of centuries. Every other day there was another tropical storm on the seas. A side-effect of the universes coming closer together was what the scientists had concluded when it first began happening hundreds of years ago after the end of The Great Journey.

You looked out the blurry window into the empty waters. Cheol and you were sitting by the back of the ship, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. You had managed to throw a cap into your backpack, which now helped hide Cheol’s face from any surveillance cameras while you used the hood of your sweatshirt to somewhat hide your face. Being a petty thief seemed like the least of your current issues.

Neither of you spoke the entire ride, only communicating and comforting each other through a hand in the other or on their thigh. If you weren’t panicking you would probably be craving his touch in other places. That would have to wait though. A safe place was probably the priority, you decided in the back of your mind. You noticed his other hand, the one which wasn’t holding onto you like his life depended on it, continued reaching towards his neck. He seemed to be in pain. Did he get hurt? You hadn't had the time to even think about asking him how he was feeling or if he had gotten hurt by the guards or even the staff. You made a mental note to ask him later, placing your head against the rest behind you instead of his shoulder. You didn’t want to cause any more pain by resting against him.

It was getting rather late as you left the submarine station you had gotten off at. Your heart wasn’t calming down anytime soon, you weren’t equipped to handle this kind of stress. Day-to-day, normal life stress was enough, this was something else entirely.

“I want to live out the rest of my life in a very peaceful manner, far away from all of this crap,” you whispered as you walked the short walk from the submarine station to the spaceport welcoming hall. You wanted to be on a warm couch, not thinking about how to run away without being arrested. Right now, the idea of a living room seemed too far out of reach. All around you were tiny shops, suitcases, and the cold and unnatural light that lit up the entire spaceport’s welcoming hall. Ships that were boarding sounded out through the air, the comfy couch was as far from reality as you could get.

Cheol scoffed, “I agree, wholeheartedly. I am never running away again after this, it’s too much work.”

You tried to hold your laugh in, “Yeah, too much sneaking around for my taste. Let’s just run away this once, and then stay put and become that old couple on the hill that no one dares to visit.” Cheol nodded. “I would do anything for that…” Suddenly you noticed a small melancholy feeling in his words. You were just about to ask what was on his mind when he stopped your walk into the large welcoming hall, ushering you both into a small tourist shop. All you saw were miniature Earths, mugs with stupid prints, and keychains with different tourist attractions. You did not like it. For a second you were worried that he wanted to do some last-minute shopping, but your worries changed as you saw his terrified face. He had seen someone he knew.

“I’ve seen that woman over there by the kiosk before, she usually helps backstage at our concerts. Fuck, that means they really managed to send people out to the exits,” he grumbled. This was bad. You felt your blood rushing in your veins, panic filling your mind. Had you been alone, you would’ve been frozen right about now.

“Let’s just go,” he whispered hurriedly, panic visible on his face. “The faster we’re out of here the better, right? Are you with me?”

“Always. Let’s go,” you whispered, the reassurance being all Cheol needed to grab your hand in his even firmer than before and head right out of the welcoming hall and out the nearest exit leading to the departing spaceships. You were unbelievably lucky as you ended up in the middle of a large swarm of travelers who were just about to board the large ship. Most were workers it turned out, the ship being part commuting area and half cargo space. The both of you managed to sneak onto the ship along with the workers, keeping your heads down as you hoped to anything that would listen that you would be able to sneak onboard undetected.

It was unplanned, you barely even knew where the ship was headed. It wasn’t until you heard the voice that called out that the ship heading to Specus would depart that you both realized where you were heading. Specus was the mining planet, all the minerals needed for this universe to continue expanding its empire, and for life to continue as it has been until now, were found on this planet. All the people on this ship were workers there, probably coming back from their biannual leave which was granted to all humans and other living beings working there. Automatons was not included in the group of people who got any leave. The laws were clear about that, automatons were not human and didn’t need any form of vacation.

The laws were bullshit.

“Specus… I mean it could be worse, right?” you whispered. Cheol nodded, caught up in his thoughts. “Should we look for somewhere else to hide until we’re there?” you asked, trying to catch his attention again. Once again he only nodded, his senses all focused on his surroundings, making sure you two weren’t being followed or watched as he pulled you away from the area with rows of seating for the workers traveling with the ship. You went past the cots, knowing there was no way you could manage to stay hidden the entire way if you tried to stay in there. Instead, you made your way to the lower parts of the deck, the part of the ship where travelers didn’t wander. Here, you would only find crew members, cleaners, servers, and mechanics. The hallways were darker here, the LED lights being used more sparsely on the lower decks. You had a hard time seeing in the low light, but Cheol had your hand in his, a relaxed feeling managing to find its way into your body despite the circumstances.

You had only managed to get a little way past the third deck when you met another person for the first time since you had left the seating area. “Are you two lost?” the man asked, making you jump and making Cheol whirl around to where the sound was coming from. You hadn’t noticed him in the dark until he spoke.

“No, we’re just… looking for the bathroom,” you stuttered out.

It was the dumbest excuse in the book. You knew you didn’t have the man fooled when he began laughing. It was a wonderful laugh, high-pitched and genuine. The figure stepped out of the dark, revealing a handsome man, dressed in a simple gray overall. Over his breast pocket, it said maintenance. You felt yourself growing a bit anxious as to what the laughing man would do next. Would he turn you in?

“No, but seriously, why are you all the way down here? You two certainly don’t look like the new hires we were supposed to get this week,” the man, who you realized was holding a mop which he was now leaning on, said with a curious tone as he scanned the both of you from head to toe. “You look like a fucking idol, you know. If I didn’t know better I would think you were on the run,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m Cheol, this is Y/N,” Cheol said finally as he nodded his head in your direction. Even in this light, you could tell he was staring at the stranger with that intense gaze that could make anyone either break down or swoon.

The maintenance man sighed, “Alright, I’m Wooyoung. Come with me,” he said without explanation. You didn’t follow him right away. He looked back at you, the “Coming?” visible on his face.

“Do we trust him?” you whispered to Cheol, who was still watching the man waiting for you.

“I don’t know about trust, but honestly what choice do we have? It’s not like we can go anywhere now, and it’s a long journey to Specus…”

You nodded, nervousness made your hand clammy in Cheol’s firm grip.

This was a risk you needed to take. If he was going to turn you in, it was probably better to just get it over with. At least you wouldn’t have to starve or something if you were locked up until you got to Specus.

He led you to the lower decks, and surprisingly began introducing you both as the new temps that would help around on your way to Specus. The other crew members nodded, a few glancing rather suspiciously at you both but accepting the half-truth that Wooyoung told them. They hadn’t heard anything about any new temps, but it was none of their business it seemed. Who, and why you were there to help around didn’t matter to them.

Wooyoung led you around the lower decks, being strangely chatty with you two. You hadn’t expected someone so friendly to simply appear in your lives just as you needed it. Was he somehow your savior or was he something entirely else? You hoped he was good news because the alternative was so much worse.

“Okay, this guy is great, you’re gonna love him. He’s not… too talkative, but he’s very good!” Wooyoung said as he took you down a flight of very narrow stairs.

“Good at what?” You asked, minding your step so you wouldn’t fall as you descended. Wooyoung didn’t answer, instead flinging a thick metal door open and skipping inside.

“Sannie!” Wooyoung suddenly shouted as you and Cheol entered a room after him. The room was filled from floor to ceiling with electronics. Screws, bolts, and different tools were everywhere. It looked like a mix of a car workshop and a dentist. The second part was mainly because of the chair in the middle of the room. The only time you had seen one of those was when you had gone to the dentist. By a table, a man sat on a high stool, engrossed in whatever he was doing. A bright lamp shone down on, what looked to you like, a bunch of chords in different colors.

“What Woo? Did you get hurt again? Or are you just here because you’re bored…” San said as he was turned away from the door where you and Cheol stood, unsure of what to say and do just as you had been for the past couple of minutes. Would this man scrutinize you and Cheol as well, like the other staff members Wooyoung had introduced you to? It seemed you had managed to bump into the most friendly maintenance member on the entire crew, and you thanked the universe for that because it seemed as if he was the solution to a lot of your current issues. He seemed to know everyone on this ship, and you hoped the friendship between him and the others would somehow be your and Cheol’s way of being allowed into the crew.

“No… or well, yes, I am always a bit bored when you’re not around,” Wooyoung chirped, “But I’m here to see what you can do for these two.”

Wooyoung gestured towards the door, finally bringing the new strangers’ attention to where you and Cheol stood. “Well, I’ll be damned. You brought a level 1 down here along with a human?” San said and looked between you both and Wooyoung who smiled brightly at his friend. “Yup!”

San nodded, “Well, I can guess what happened with you two since you’re here after all… Can you work?” he asked after a moment. You nodded. “Yes,” you heard Cheol say.

“Great. I’m San, I’m the mechanic around here. Since I’m human, and apparently that means something even in space, these fuckers also put me in charge when we leave the dock. I’ll get you what you need, food for you,” he said and looked at you, he then turned to Cheol, “A charger for you, and enough work to make sure you sleep soundly when you get off your shifts,” San declared.

“Yay!” Wooyoung shouted gleefully, his cheerful claps making you crack a smile - despite the situation you found yourselves in.

Cheol wasn’t smiling, but he seemed more relaxed. “How did you know I was a level 1?” was all he asked. You hadn’t reflected on it, but it was strange that he had been able to realize the difference between Cheol and you so quickly.

San smirked, “It’s my job to know. If I couldn’t tell the difference between you and one of the workers here, I’d really be in trouble as a mechanic.” He was about to return to the mess of chords on his desk, but he looked back at Cheol, pointing towards his neck. “Also, come back here tomorrow and I’ll get that fixed for you.” Cheol’s hand reached for his neck again, the pain from touching the place his tracker had been made him flinch in agony. His shirt had fallen a bit lower while you had wandered after Wooyoung, he had opened his jacket, and now you finally spotted the area he had been protecting this entire time. The piece of metal you had avoided in your secret rendezvous was gone. He had ripped it out, you shuddered at the thought of the strength it must’ve taken to rip something like that from your own skin. You squeezed his hand to comfort and distract him, you didn’t know what else to do.

Wooyoung came towards you, happily walking away from San who was already immersed in his work, and made it clear that you were to follow him.

“Thank you,” you said before you left, San looking over his shoulder to give you a small smile and a ‘no worries’ expression in return. But worry was exactly what you had begun feeling, more than anything else.

You and Cheol got a gray overall each, both saying maintenance over the breast pocket and the back, just like the one Wooyoung was wearing. “Stay in here for tonight, and when I wake you I’ll let you know what you will be doing for the next couple of weeks,” Wooyoung explained, giving you a small room in a long hallway to stay in. Everything was in the same cool metallic shade, and you realized that all you had to sleep on tonight would be a lonely pillow and a blanket that looked like it had seen better days.

“It’s not ideal…” you stated, looking around in the small space you had been assigned as your room. “But we can make it work, right?”

“It could be a lot better,” Cheol nodded and looked at you. You had had an affair with a famous level 1 automaton, been found out by some really powerful people, threatened to be disposed of, illegally left Earth, and had just been offered safe passage to another planet by some unexpectedly friendly people. But the room was a bit small and dark. Cheol looked at you, a smile creeping onto his face. You began laughing at the absurdity, “We should probably be more grateful,” he gasped out between laughs. “But it’s so ugly!” You shouted, your laughs getting more and more manic.

“This is probably the stupidest thing we have ever done,” you gasped out.

Your eyes welled, which tears that were a result of your laughing, and which were your exhaustion finally setting in was impossible to tell. All your emotions just came out all at once. You were gasping for air, tears running down your cheeks, and all the weight of your decisions crashing right into you.

“It was, but I can’t make myself regret anything,” Cheol said, emotion welling underneath his words. But he didn’t cry. Instead, he just held you. He let you cry your eyes out, staining his dark hoodie with your tears as you sobbed.

“Did we make the right decision?” you whispered against his chest, strong arms holding you safe as you questioned what you had done.

“I hope so,” you heard Cheol say, the sound of his voice echoing in his body. You fell asleep in his arms for the first time that day. Having him to yourself in this way was a privilege, you realized. It was a privilege you had lived without for your entire life. You didn’t even know that you had been missing out on it until you woke up the next day, your head in his lap and his hands holding the blanket to your waist. You looked up at his handsome face, wondering if he had been able to rest where he sat against the hard wall.

It didn’t take long until you had both caught on to what you needed to do around the ship. It turned out that Wooyoung was a great instructor. During your shifts you both ran around, cleaning, and helping the regular crew members when needed. Wooyoung quickly made sure you felt at least a bit more comfortable on the ship by giving you tours around the decks and introducing you to even more of the crew members.

The best part, however, was when you, after an exhausting day working around the large ship, got to lay down in Cheol’s lap while he charged and slept for a few hours, just feeling the heat that his body generated as you let yourself be swept away from reality. The weeks passed, and you learned the routines of the ship rather quickly.

You barely had any time to think, let alone feel, how physically and emotionally exhausted you were. Leaving everything on Earth and trying to survive day by day on this ship in the middle of the vast universe was more work than you had hoped when you impulsively decided to leave. Some days you managed to take a moment to yourself, stopping in the middle of your step, and just staring out the small windows on the sides of the ship. The space outside was both so full of life and so empty of anything at all that you found yourself floating away in your thoughts into nothingness for just a moment.

After a few weeks of almost nothing but work and sleep, the crew began preparing for the landing. Soon you would be on Specus, with absolutely nothing planned for what was to come. This soon changed, however, as you sat down with San to eat dinner. Cheol sat next to you, not wanting to spend unnecessary time apart from you just because he didn’t need to consume any food.

“But, like, did you like the dancing and all that?” Wooyoung asked, the conversation had ended up being about your professions.

“I think I did, yeah,” Cheol answered honestly.

“I always thought I’d be a pretty good idol. If I wasn’t designated my level, I would've given it a shot for sure!” Wooyoung said, “Or well, maybe not under your company… they don’t seem that great from what I’ve heard, with the whole rebooting thing and all… that…” he trailed off. You were all staring at him. The silence was deafening, none of you truly knew what Cheol had been through. He had told you bits and pieces, but not nearly enough to know how he’d react to this.

San and Wooyoung had become your friends since you had been sharing your meals every day. Most of the time the conversations flowed naturally, and the topics ranged from everything from San’s latest way to fix up bolts that had begun unscrewing themselves to childhood memories. Wooyoung and Cheol had a hard time joining in on those conversations, but they shared their fair share of memories from when they first gained consciousness.

It was strange to think about it in that way, your boyfriend never had a childhood. Well, you still didn’t have a name for what you two were, and calling him your boyfriend in your mind might be jumping to conclusions, you were simply on the run with each other and had a romantic and sexual relationship with one another, but boyfriend might be going too far- Nevertheless, he had been created just as he was right now. Out of all the parts about AI that you had grown up to accept, the no-childhood part was the one you never quite could get past. He had missed something that was so fundamental to you and all other people who had been born instead of created in a factory. It made you really think about the fact that someone had created him intentionally - not just anyone, but him.

The silence was still pressing around you as you all waited to see how Cheol would react to Wooyoung’s lighthearted comment about the idol life. Your thoughts were wandering away from you, maybe in a way of escaping reality until Cheol saved the conversation.

“I think you would've been a great performer. You have the right energy about you,” Cheol said with a straight face making Wooyoung crack a smile.

You were happy that he seemed okay talking about his experiences. And you were equally happy that the mood hadn’t been completely ruined because of Wooyoung’s thoughtless comment.

After some time, the conversations died out and San picked up a new one, asking something neither you nor Cheol had any good answers to: “What will you do next?”

You looked at Cheol. He looked just as clueless as you felt. Neither of you had a plan. “They don’t have any clue,” Wooyoung pitched in with his laugh, that you would remember for the rest of your life. You looked down, nodding slightly. It was true.

“Where do you want to go? You don’t have any idea of where you would like to be in the future?” San asked, surprised that you didn’t have at least the semblance of a plan.

“I don’t know much about the universe… but I want to go somewhere safe. I want to spend my life where I won’t be found and won’t be constantly watched,” Cheol answered before looking at you, “…somewhere we can be alone.”

Your heart fluttered. You had forgotten that your life wasn’t just the endless days of work on the ship. It was beyond you how you could’ve forgotten it all so fast, but the intense look filled with love and pain that Cheol gave you made all the feelings stir up once again. You wanted that too, you wanted a place where you two could just be together.

You nodded, concurring with what Cheol had just said, “Is there somewhere like that? Where we can stay forever?”

Wooyoung stayed quiet but San looked at the both of you, something in his eyes telling you both that he did have an answer to what you were asking him. “Lumen. That’s where you want to go.”

“Lumen?” you asked, never having heard of the planet before.

San hummed, “It’s right beside galaxy 428B. They say it’s the ‘utopia of the universe’, but very few have ever managed to get there and even fewer have managed to get there and back to tell the story of it.”

“Why is that?” you continued asking, your curiosity piqued.

Lumen had been a planet much like Earth before the entire shift in the universe had happened. It was a sunny place, filled with forests and unexplored nature. There lived some type of people, San wasn’t sure what they were called. It was far away, and the solar systems that were close together had not deemed it worth the cost of travel to create a way to commute there. If you could get there, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything but creating a way of life, San told you. He had heard about the place from travelers he met in his childhood, people who had been on a journey of their own in search of a safe haven - much like you and Cheol.

“All I know is that you need to travel as far north from our solarsystem as possible,” he said and went quiet. “I’ve never seen those people after they left in search of Lumen, I don’t know if they ever made it.”

Cheol was deep in thought next to you. Neither of you responded to what San had told you except for a short: “Thanks, I think we should head to bed.” But even as you rested your head against his shoulder that night waiting for the exhaustion to overtake you, not a word came from the man you had spent weeks chatting within just this position.

If you were going to find out what he thought about your destination, you would need to take the initiative you thought that night.

“I wanna go, do you?” Your words lingered in the dark room. Silence. Soon you almost began falling asleep, your brain coming to accept that you were probably not going to get an answer out of him tonight. Your body jerked as you heard his deep voice say: “I want to come with you.” Grabbing his hand you nodded sleepily against his shoulder.

“I love you…” you mumbled before you dozed off, leaving Cheol alone and awake in the dark with your words ringing in his ears.

The next day Cheol still couldn’t get those three words out of his mind. Only for a moment did he think about trying to make up a plan for what you needed to do now that you had decided where you wanted to go. ‘I love you’… the thought of your sleepy voice whispering to him had him cleaning the same spot for at least twenty minutes.

You had said it first, but he didn’t even know if you meant it in the way he felt it. Did you just say it without thinking while half asleep? Were you thinking of someone else? What if you were mad that he hadn’t said it?

He was freaking out, rubbing harder with the mop on the laminated floors. He was sure that he had messed it all up. Maybe you didn’t want to go anymore. What if you had just followed him thinking it would be a quick trip and ended up with more than you had bargained for? God, why hadn’t he said it back last night? He felt it, so why did he freeze when he heard those three damn words?

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Hey,” Wooyoung stood beside him, looking at the only wet spot on the ground around them. “How’s it going with the floor?”

Cheol looked down, only now realizing how caught up in his head he had been. “Shit, I’m sorry man.”

“No worries. Something wrong?” Wooyoung said, his hand still on Cheol’s shoulder in a reassuring manner.

He shook his head, “Just a lot on my mind…”

Wooyoung hummed, nodding understandingly. “Go talk to each other about whatever it is, don’t just stand here doing… I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing, to be honest.”

Cheol looked at him. He was weirdly intuitive, Cheol thought as he looked at the crooked smile Wooyoung was flashing him. He nodded, “It’s ok for me to go?”

“Dude, just go! I told you to do so, I decide who cleans the floors and you are definitely not helping me do it, so you’re off floor duty.”

Cheol let go of the mop, his legs quickly moving away from the upper decks and down to the lower ones, towards you. He quickly found you in the kitchen, removing plates from the large dishwasher as the servers stacked the hot plates in tall piles - it looked rather dangerous as he glanced at the piles that towered over him. “Cheol?” You blurted out, surprised to see him here when he wasn’t on duty in the kitchen that day.

“Hi, I… I wanted to see you, and Wooyong he- he said I could go and I needed to…” he paused, he didn’t actually know what he wanted or what he needed. Or well, he did know, he just didn’t know how to make it happen.

“Come on, let’s go talk then,” you simply responded, making Cheol look at you in awe. He wondered how it had been so easy for you to say what he had wanted to say all along. You on the other hand were wondering why Cheol stood entranced in the kitchen doorway looking at you as if the words ‘let’s talk’ had been revolutionary.

“Coming?”

Cheol nodded and followed you back to the small back room that had been yours for the past few weeks. It was dark, but there was enough light coming in from the hallway and the tiny lamp in the corner of the room to light up the piles of clothes in the other corner, the blanket he put over you every night, and the charger that was plugged into the wall next to where he slept with you in his lap.

The door closed heavily behind him as you leaned against a wall, wondering what it was that he felt the need to talk about, was it Lumen? “Did you change your mind?” You asked hesitantly.

“About what?” Cheol looked scared for some reason, you didn’t know why but it made your eyebrows knit together.

“It’s not about Lumen?”

“No, no I still wanna go to Lumen! It’s not about that… wait, do you… not want to anymore?”

You shook your head, “That’s not it!” You hurried to assure him. “I just thought, since that was our last conversation… you know.”

Cheol swallowed, he just needed to say what he felt.

That was easier said than done though. The words all got jumbled up in his brain, his thoughts making his throat go dry, he just wanted you to know without having to tell you. You couldn’t read his mind, but he wanted you to feel it. He wanted you to feel how much, how deeply he loved you. He took a step towards you, your arms wrapping around him without a second thought. You pulled him close, chuckling at the thought that he had just wanted some kisses.

His lips pressed against yours and his tongue quickly made its way into your mouth, the movements from his touch making you dizzy and tingly all over. Want was already pooling in your lower stomach. Arousal seeped through your folds, you hadn’t felt Cheol’s touch or mouth on you in so long. It kickstarted your system and had you wet after just a couple of minutes of making out.

“More please,” you mumbled against his lips.

Cheol’s hand moved down from your waist, below the gray pants you were wearing today. His large fingers quickly found their way through your folds, your pussy now soaked and leaking as he slipped his hand against your clit. His breath was hot against your face as he let go of your lips so he could hear your whimpers as he circled your clit.

It felt so good, his rough hands knew exactly what to do as they dipped into your cunt, only teasing you before he went back to press on your sensitive spot.

You were spreading your legs further apart the longer he teased your clit, you wanted to be filled, you wanted him to push his digits further into your body, you wanted to feel him inside of you as you gushed around his fingers. When he did you moaned out his name, the tension from the past few weeks all dissolving as he fucked you on his fingers.

A loud knock drew you both out of the moment, and an unsure voice came from behind the door. “Uhm, Cheol? I just wanted to tell you that you’re off for the rest of the day… I got both yours and y/ns shifts covered… so you could talk.”

Cheol cleared his throat, “Yeah, thanks Wooyoung!” he shouted back before pushing his fingers back deep inside your cunt. A moan escaped your lips as he hit the right spot within.

Wooyoung went silent, “Okay fine! Later then!”

Cheol didn’t bother to answer, and as Wooyoung left you could hear him talk to himself, “You do something nice for someone and all they do is wave you off so they can get their dick wet, assholes!”

He would’ve done the same, but none of you would ever argue about it with him. You both laughed for just a second before Cheol kissed you gently yet again, making you forget everything about what had just happened.

You soon came as he thrust his fingers deeper into you while the palm of his hand pressed on your entire pussy. It was heavenly, a white blur was all you could see, and relief swept through your body. Cheol kept you from falling onto the floor when he put down the leg he had helped hold up. You were holding onto his clothing with a firm grip as you came down from the first high you had felt in too long. Cheol was riding on a high of his own, not because he had been allowed to cum but because you had. He felt just as proud now as he did the first time he had managed to make you have an orgasm, and he let the words come as they wished, “I love you, more than anything in the universe.”

Your eyes fluttered open upon hearing those softly spoken words. The words that turned your world upside down, the words that terrified you, the words you had longed to hear.

“I love you too,” you said, pressing your forehead against Cheols.

“I know,” he chuckled.

“Wait what?” You said and pulled away your head to try and see his face, “How… oh!”

Your hand flew to slap over your mouth as you remembered what you had been thinking last night, remembering how the words had sat right at the tip of your tongue before you let yourself fall asleep last night. “I said it out loud, didn’t I?”

Cheol nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. “I hope you meant it because you’re gonna have to spend the rest of eternity with me once we get to our paradise.”

“Our paradise? You already think Lumen is ours?” You teased.

“Of course, with my handsome face and your gorgeous everything, how could we not find ourselves in charge?”

“You’re insane, and I meant it.”

His smile shone even in the darkness and it lit up your heart like the sky on New Year’s Eve. He held you that night just like all other nights, but your mind was calmer than most other ones. You were dragging your fingertips along Cheol’s chest, resting your chin on his pillowy arm.

“You know what’s funny?” he suddenly asked.

You looked at him curiously. “What?”

“My entire life, the people around me tried to convince me that I didn’t have a will of my own - that I didn’t have my own needs that they couldn’t fulfill.”

“...that’s funny?” you asked, shocked at his apparent sense of humor.

Cheol laughed, “No, no, I mean, it’s not really funny… but it’s funny how, as I had begun believing this myself after years of having been told this, it all just collapsed in front of me the moment I picked up the phone and heard this stranger with the most endearing voice ever try to order a pizza from me.”

You stayed quiet, “...again, that’s what you find funny?? I think we need to work on your humor mister.” He laughed more, your giggles joining his after a moment. Living wasn’t easy, but at least he had joined yours, and it was beginning to transform. Nothing was as it had been, and even an unsure future on the run seemed better than the life you had been living so far. At least you had one another now.

Time moved too fast after that day, the goal of somehow going to Lumen with Cheol made the days on the ship with San and Wooyoung fly past you. Soon you were preparing to land on Specus. San had told you that you could stick with him for a few days before he got back on the ship to make the journey back to Earth. You both accepted, grateful that you didn’t have to figure out where to go by yourselves on this new planet.

The day you stepped off the ship onto the giant spaceport on Specus you held onto Cheol’s hand, just as you had when you boarded it. Specus was an industrial planet, its main purpose was to mine minerals and metals from deep within the planet. It was visible the second you stepped off the ship that this planet wasn’t like Earth at all. Everything felt like it was a back alley, with pipes, and rust covering every building and vehicle you could see as you followed San through the rundown welcoming hall. There were no shops filled with books or souvenirs, only a ticket shop booth where a robotic arm was visible in the yellowish window. San led you through the hall, not looking at much and saying even less. It was colder here than on Earth.

“Stop.” San said suddenly, “Look up.”

Both you and Cheol let your eyes flash up, towards the ceiling, or at least towards what would’ve been the ceiling had there been one. Instead what you both saw was a dark violet sky, not the kind that you had both seen on Earth, but one that looked like it was exploding with tiny stars. “What is that?” You asked as you stood with your neck bent back completely so you could watch the stars moving around above you, faster than any stars you had ever seen before.

“Specus spins faster.” San explained, “Somehow that ended up meaning it’s always this one color of blue in the sky and the light from the stars in our galaxies all blend to create this kaleidoscope of color and stars.”

“It’s pretty,” you said, tears almost forming in your eyes at your first sight of something other than metal and the darkness of space you had seen in months. You had missed looking up at the sky, you realized, even if it wasn’t the same sky that you had at home.

Home, where was that? Earth wasn’t your home anymore. Did you not have one anymore?

Cheol’s hand squeezed around yours and you abandoned the thoughts. They would only hurt you in the end, it was better to focus on the now.

San got you all two rooms at a hostel, the only one on the entire planet it turned out. They didn’t get many visitors except for the few who worked on commuting ships like San, and now you two. It had been so long since you had slept in a real bed that you slept as long as you physically could bear before your stomach was growling at you to get breakfast. San had already retrieved some while Cheol stayed with you, refusing to leave you alone just yet. He didn’t trust the others in the hostel, it seemed, as he continued to be on guard as you both got ready to leave your hostel room.

That day San took you both on a tour around the town, it was small but busy. Automatons, aliens, and a few humans were wandering around; on their way to work, on their way to their temporary homes, or on their errands for the day. In that sense, it didn’t feel like you were very far away from Earth. But as you glanced up at the violet kaleidoscope sky you were reminded of just how different it all was.

As the days passed on Specus, you didn’t have a clue of what to do next or how to get to Lumen. San had done everything he could for the both of you, even teaching you some of the most basic routines for checking on Cheol’s health. It hadn’t been an issue you had spent a single thought on, his health being something you took for granted even now. San helped you realize that what you had gotten yourselves into was dangerous not just because of who was after you, but because of who you two were. You needed to know things in case Cheol couldn’t help with telling you what he needed, in case something bad happened. Nobody would be able to help once you were alone. You weren’t handling the realization well.

Cheol was the one to let you forget about it after you had gotten yourself stressed about what could end up hurting him. He felt guilty about having you worrying about him, and honestly, a little pissed at San for frightening you so much. He knew you needed to learn though, and opted for being your comfort instead.

He kissed you, gently and lovingly, and he held you close when you couldn’t let the thought of having to use the new skill San had taught you on the man you loved. Seeing the inside of someone in that way had become your new nightmare. Cheol held you each night, shushing you back to sleep if you ever woke up from it.

Two weeks ended up passing by just like that, nightmares and lessons on Automaton autonomy. You wanted to get off of Specus by the beginning of the third week. It didn’t matter that San and Wooyoung had become your friends, you wanted to leave. The sky was still beautiful but everything around you reminded you of what San had taught you, and you couldn’t think anymore, you didn’t want to think anymore.

“Let’s find a ship then,” Cheol simply said when you voiced how badly you wished to go somewhere else, to find your paradise sooner rather than later.

You laughed a bit at that, “Do you really think it’ll be that easy?”

“Of course, it’ll be easy!” He said with a casual shrug. You flashed him a smile in return for his suddenly carefree attitude.

“I don’t believe you, but I say we give it a shot!”

Before you left you said your goodbyes to San, just in case you ended up actually lucking out and finding a ship that was willing to take you both to Lumen. You hugged the mechanic who had helped you both so much during these months. Cheol did the same, with one small difference, he whispered something to San before he pulled away. Something that made San’s face go serious but he nodded in confirmation. What had he agreed on? What had Cheol told him? You tried asking him as you left towards the spaceport but he wouldn’t budge, telling you “You’ll notice if it worked later, I promise.”

The hours passed, and any ship that looked decent had declined you. Every captain had a destination already and none of them had Lumen on the maps.

You were tired and hungry. Cheol’s chipper attitude was long gone by now and you were both seemingly thinking about giving up for the day.

“You know what, what if we just steal that ship? If we’re gonna be on one for months or even years we should have a proper one,” you joked and pointed at a large ship by the end of the docks. Cheol looked at the ship, it was larger than the ones you had been asking all day, but not even close to as large as a cargo ship. It was the perfect size for going on a long trip with a few people.

“Alright,” Cheol said without a hint of sarcasm, which made you look at him surprised.

“Wait what? You want to steal that ship for real?” You wheezed out. He nodded, a playful smile showing you that he meant to try.

Fuck it, your mind decided - hunger and the need to leave Specus and all its minerals overtaking your rational mind. You boarded the ship, walking past any guards as if you owned the place. Nobody minded you two, the few people that far out the docks minding their own business. The ship was even more gorgeous inside, modern and so clean you were shocked at how long you had gone since you last saw a floor without mud or rust.

You walked into the cockpit of the ship. If someone were to arrest you right now you were happy to at least have seen this ship before rotting away in Phylaca forever. The prison planet was the one place you never wanted to see even if you weren’t going there for imprisonment. But going to Lumen was all that mattered, so you would need to steal this ship.

“I think this will do,” you said and smirked at Cheol.

“What are you two doing here?” The voice made you both jump, and you both looked towards the exit. A man, rather large in his stature, stood confused and agitated in the doorway. He had just stepped inside the ship, the door behind him still wide open with the ramp that led to the dock right below him. You were in shock one minute and the next you began running. But you weren’t running away from the large man, you ran right towards him. A look of panic flashed across the man’s face and then your body slammed into his. You were sure you were going to fall with him, but you never did. A strong grip holding onto your waist. When you opened your eyes to see if you were dead you saw the man on the ground. He wasn’t moving. People around him looked up from their own business to look at what had happened. Cheol pulled you inside, closing the door as you stared out into the void in front of you.

Had you killed that man? You ripped yourself from Cheol’s grip and looked out of the tiny window that faced the docks where more and more people were grouping around the man. Was he moving? You wanted to think he was moving. The people around him tried to lift his head, he was bleeding a little, but he was sitting, right? Your mind was a mess. You didn’t know if what you were seeing was real, or if it was your mind playing a terrible trick on you.

You gasped as you saw the docks moving. They were moving away from you just as the man seemed to turn and point at you. “He’s not dead! Cheol I’m not a murderer!!” You shouted.

But Cheol wasn’t there, he wasn’t where you had torn away from his grip anymore. He was by the cockpit, hands frantically trying everything he could to get the ship to do as he wished. The docks hadn’t moved, you realized, the ship had.

Cheol picked up how to steer the ship rather quickly, even understanding how to use the auto control so he could charge at the same time you slept instead of constantly doing shifts. You were happy about that since it meant you got to spend time together on the ship, your days becoming rather pleasant as you settled into a routine. There was plenty of fuel on the ship, both for the ship itself and for you and Cheol. Electricity was easy to come by and there was a rather large supply of food there as well. You had managed to snatch a ship that had just been restocked - it was hard to accept the amount of luck the two of you had been struck by.

But the best part of the ship was the fact that nobody else was on it. For the first time in forever, you two were alone. Alone with a bed and each other. There was nothing else to do but to let Cheol fuck you in every way he, or you, wanted. And my god you wanted to - all the time. The day had only just begun on your second week on board the ship and you hadn't had the chance to get dressed yet, breakfast in bed having become the norm as you let the ship steer away from everything, hoping it would lead you to Lumen if you just kept the course San had told you about. You simply steered away from — and hoped for the best. After all, you had better things to do that occupied your mind at the moment.

Cheol could taste the fruit you had just eaten for breakfast, you tasted like what he imagined summer would if he could consume it. In a way he was. He was drinking in the way you looked underneath him with his eyes, he was licking and kissing every inch of you that he saw, nibbling on your skin, making you moan and beg more and more for each day that he learned his way around your body.

Never before had you been undisturbed like this for days on end. It was pure bliss. He found out each spot you liked to feel his lips on your skin, each spot where he could make you arch your back off the bed, and each spot on the ship where he could drill into your cunt until your legs gave out and your juices leaked out of you. You made a mess of the large bed that had been meant for someone a lot more powerful than the two of you, but none other than you two would’ve been able to use it to its fullest like you had been while alone on the ship.

Cheol’s fingers smoothed over your thighs as his hot breath caused shivers to spread from your core, goosebumps prickling your skin in the air of the spaceship. You were grabbing fistfuls of his long hair, his gaze sultry and dripping with lust as his tongue flicked over your clit. He was burying his face in your puffy and glistening folds, reveling in your moans and how your entire body was writhing from his tongue exploring your wet pussy.

You had been at it for a while, but neither of you were finished, orgasms were still left to be had before you would be able to sleep.

The way he was making out with your cunt would soon send you over the edge if only the muffled sound of a voice hadn’t found its way through the corridors of the ship to pull you out of your pleasure.

“What the fuck is that?” You groaned, pushing on Cheol’s head a little as if you would be able to hear the voice clearer the further Cheol was from your cunt. This was true, but not enough of a reason to give up on chasing your orgasm, according to Cheol since he simply attached his lips to you again.

He hummed, meaning to get you to ignore whatever it was. The voice of a person, clearly in a rush, continued to echo in the large rooms from the cockpit. “Cheol I need to check on that. They sound worried, maybe they’re in danger.”

“Fucking hell!” He groaned out as you pushed on him again. “How is it possible for us to get interrupted right now?! We’re in the middle of the freaking space for goodness sake!” Cheol shouted, his lips leaving your body and his hands stilled.

“I’ll fix it. Gimme two seconds,” you said with a giggle. He had taken the words right out of your mouth, it was incredible how you could never have sex without someone interrupting you.

You rushed to the cockpit, only managing to throw on a simple T-shirt. “Hello?” The voice came screeching out of the sound system in the cockpit. You had never used it before, but with a simple push of a button that blinked in a bright shade of red, you were able to answer the person on the other end. “Hello! Can we help you?” You asked in your friendliest tone.

“Yes, hello, this is the spacecraft Marquise, 4210-CH378,” the voice stated, “We are on course for —- and have discovered your ship on our monitor. We are on a direct collision course with your ship if nothing is adjusted, and based on our estimation of your ship size we are afraid that any living beings on your ship will be crushed as a result of the impending collision.”

You were speechless, “I’m sorry? We’re about to crash into you?! And die?!” You shouted the friendly tone you had tried to access now long gone in favor of your pure panicked state.

“I’ll move our ship! Please don’t crush us!” You shouted as you pressed down on the button, hoping to the stars that your actions were the right ones to do at that moment as you simply smashed buttons at random on the control desk. Anything to make the ship away from the larger ship that was already visible in the far-off distance, a star that seemed to move twice as fast as any regular star could.

You hadn’t noticed Cheol when he entered the cockpit, only noticing him when you felt a kiss on your shoulder, which then became a row of small warm kisses down your back. A small chuckle came from behind you as your body reacted to him, forgetting what you were doing.

“If you intend to change the course of your ship, we would prefer it happen before you end up in front of us…” the person on the other side of the intercom reminded you.

You had forgotten, pushing the red button once again, bending forward as you did, giving Cheol the perfect opportunity to push his face back against your still dripping pussy.

“I’m so sOrry-” you winced, “I’m having some technical difficulti- ah!”

“Do you need some assistance?” a voice crackled over the intercom. You needed to get the ship on another course or you would soon be nothing but a bug on the windshield of the much larger ship coming right towards you. Cheol’s tongue on your soaking cunt had you trembling where you stood, bent over the control panel, the ship in sight and your mind working against the impulse to give in to Cheol’s magic touch and ignore all your issues.

You tried to momentarily pull away from his face, but he had you in his grip and you were too entranced by his grip to properly make the effort to get your heat away from his warm tongue. Instead, you pushed on the lever that you had seen Cheol use only once or twice, unsure of what it did but it was the best option. You pushed it as far as it went, and the ship began turning away from your intended course, and by extension, away from the collision course.

“Thank you. We wish you good luck on your further travels,” the voice from the larger ship sounded through the intercom once again. “No problem, you too!” you managed to say before turning away from the control panel, Cheol’s grip on you only losing for a second as he took his mouth off of you, only to sit you down in the pilot’s seat. This time you weren’t focused on staying on the course however, instead the chair was turned away from the panels and the vast universes outside the ship, instead, you had a very cocky Seungcheol on his knees in front of you. Your cunt was on display and dripping as you awaited his touch yet again.

“You seemed to be a little distracted just now,” he chuckled. You scowled, but not for long, your neediness taking control of you once again as you pushed Cheol’s face back to your arousal, which he lapped up with fervor, the stress of the moment gone just as it had come, the incident being largely forgotten by the both of you afterward.

This was one of the biggest mistakes you could have made on your journey. Forgetting where you were going, forgetting that your newly found safe haven on the ship would only last as long as nothing burst your fragile bubble.

Days passed, and your waking hours flew past you almost as fast as the space around you did.

A single blip showed up at the edge of one of the monitors in the cockpit. Blinking bright blue, your spacecraft flew closer with each day. Neither of you paid any attention to it. The both of you relied on the autopilot mode to guide you to Lumen, even if your initial direction was based on nothing more than what San had told you months ago.

The change of course hadn’t made a difference to your daily routine until you saw the desolate planet in front of you. When you had spotted it one morning in the distance, you had presumed it to be an optical illusion. There wasn’t supposed to be much of anything out here, but you could very clearly see a small planet, darker than the surrounding space, with only the lights of ships to reveal that it was anything other than space junk or a meteor.

Dark and wet, it lay lonely in the universe. Your fuel had begun emptying after weeks of nonstop flying, you would need to stop at one place or another sometime soon. Changing courses away from the prison planet now would only make suspicion arise from the watchtowers on the planet. There was no denying it: Phylaca would be your next stop.

“We need to put on our best act, we fucked up y/n, let’s make it quick…” Cheol tumbled as you both watched the planet becoming bigger and bigger from the cockpit’s large window. “As long as they don’t find out anything about who we are or why we’re here, everything will be fine,” you agreed, the doubt evident in your voice and the way you were biting your cheek to distract you from the sense of doom you were experiencing.

Docking at Phylaca’s spaceport was unexpectedly easy, the man who had answered the intercom had welcomed you to land on one of the less crowded docks before they could come to meet you. You had worried they would take you as pirates or something worse since you weren’t authorized to be there, but the man on the speaker had jokingly called you out on “not exactly looking like a pirate ship.” You weren’t sure how you should take that, but you were thankful that it had let you both safely land on the planet.

A guard was coming closer, he didn’t look like most guards you had seen before, he was rather short and his stature was on the smaller side. His presence, however, was enormous. The way he carried himself made you a bit nervous as he approached. You went out to meet him, hoping it wasn’t all a ploy to get you and Cheol arrested, he stayed behind inside the ship, having been convinced that it would be safer if nobody had seen him on Phylaca at all. San had recognized him as a level 1 automaton, even though most people can’t tell the difference at all, who was to say that nobody else would?

“Hey,” the man said and reached out a hand, “Welcome to Phylaca, the intergalactic prison.”

You had to swallow hard to not reveal how nervous that made you. “Hey, me and my crew were hoping that we could stay here for just a little while, just until we can restock on some supplies and fuel. We’ll be out of your hair before you can even count to 10!” You rambled, not much thought going into what you were saying even though your brain was running in circles trying not to say anything stupid.

His features were sharp, delicate in some way, he stared at you expressionless as he listened.

“That soon? On the run or something?” He said, the same expressionless eyes staring at you suspiciously.

Fuck, you had already fucked it all up. You would die in prison and they would probably send Cheol back to earth and he would forget everything and you would be left here all alone for all of eternity! You wanted to cry. The guard must’ve noticed, because as he saw the tears trying their hardest not to fall from your bottom lashes his expression let up, eyebrows knitting worriedly together and he reached out a hand, “No, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

The tears fell, and you wiped them off, pulling back from the hand the guard had reached out for you. “I was only kidding, okay? I’m gonna tell you a secret, yeah?”

Your tears were gone, you mind a huge question mark as the guard you had been speaking to for about two minutes had 1. Made you cry, 2. Guess your life’s story in two seconds, and 3. Wants to tell you a secret so you won’t cry??

Who was this man?

“You’re not the first person who has ended up here while on the run, and I’ll help if you are! That’s my secret…” he whispered, looking at you with a curious eye. Was he waiting for you to respond to him disclosing what was most likely highly restricted information to you just because you were tired and scared?

“Uhm…” you were speechless, “I’m y/n, I’d love help…”

“Oh wow, okay that was much easier than it usually is. Hi y/n, I’m Hongjoong,” he gave you a gentle smile now, somehow reassuring you that you would be okay, even if you had just been offered illegal help from what you figured was basically a corrupt guard.

“What? He just agreed to help us? A Phylaca guard agreed to restock our storage and fuel tank. Just like that?” Cheol was in disbelief, you nodded with big eyes, barely believing it yourself.

“I mean, it’s possible that he only said he would because I was crying and he wanted some time to get more guards to come and arrest us… but he seemed very nice!”

He was in shock, and he was scared, you could see it in his face before he hid it in his hands, rubbing away the worries as much as possible.

“He… did he not want anything in return?” He finally asked. You were silent for a moment. “Y/n. What did he ask you to do in return for this huge favor?”

His voice was stern, and you would need to tell him eventually anyhow.

“…he wants us to help one of his acquaintances get off of Phylaca…” you mumbled, a bit scared of how he would react to you agreeing to host strangers on your ship.

“You invited refugees from a prison to our ship?”

“…I did.”

He stared at you, his expression hard to read.

“Can we run before they get here?”

“I don’t think we should…”

“…Fine, let’s wait for them, whoever they are. But if it turns out they’re literal murderers or something, we should kick them off sooner rather than later,” he said before standing up. You were standing by the door, not having gotten much further into the room created for the kitchen staff on the ship, the room that you had deemed safe enough for Cheol to stay in while you went outside to meet Hongjoong.

He walked to you, taking your face in his hands, “Thank you for coming back safely, even if this deal might get us killed in the end.”

You chuckled but was interrupted when Cheol leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

The ship was ready to lift, but the docks were even emptier than you had seen them during the entire time you had been on Phylaca. Hongjoong hadn’t talked to you much since that first day. He had sent notes along with the supplies he had sent over. It was terrifying each time a delivery was made, you never knew if this was the day you would be found out and arrested. But Hongjoong had turned out to be trustworthy, and you had kept your own promise of staying to help out his acquaintances in need too, at least so far.

“They haven’t shown yet?” Cheol asked when he came back to the cockpit where you sat, prepared to lift the moment your new passengers were on the ship.

“Nope, Hongjoong said that they would show up about now… should we leave if they don’t come?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they will come after us if we leave…we don’t know how much we should trust that guard if we break our deal.”

He was right, you needed to wait; you needed to keep your promise to make it off Phylaca safely. If you had done all this just to get arrested while leaving the planet, it would’ve all been in vain.

You waited, the silence of the empty-looking planet feeling increasingly eerie.

Then you spotted them, you gasped, they were running. Two people were running towards you. You couldn’t see them clearly, they were too far away at first. You recognized the jacket on one of them, it belonged to the guard on Phylaca. The other person was seemingly wearing matching clothes. Were they criminals? What had you gotten yourselves into?

You didn’t call for Cheol to come look, but he noticed the way you tensed up as you saw them coming closer and the way your breath hitched in your throat when you finally saw them. You recognized one of them from the big plasma screens. His face had been everywhere. Even though you hadn’t been looking much at any of the members standing beside the man you had found out was the idol you were talking to in secret, you could recall his face lit up with the cold blue lights in the evening. He was one of the 53V3NT33N members. D1N0. One of the members Cheol had been forced to leave behind when he ran. He was here, on Phylaca.

Cheol stood frozen beside you. They stopped just a couple hundred feet away, the other person blocking the view of D1N0’s face. Something was happening, you didn’t know what, but when you saw the guards you didn’t even care anymore. You weren’t going to get caught here, not like this. D1N0 had stayed behind. He pushed the other person forward, and simply watched as they ran toward the ship. They ran away from him, away from the guards, and towards you and Cheol.

They were the acquaintances Hongjoong had spoken of, they were supposed to leave with you. Both of them. But only one of them got on board. Cheol was still frozen, you weren’t sure if he was even there anymore. You couldn’t wait. The stranger that had run on board was safe.

You left the docks, hearing a faint, “No!” You knew it was Cheol, but the instinct to get you all to safety was greater than his shouts for you to turn back. He could’ve overpowered you and made you go back, but he didn’t even think that far. He ran to the doors that would’ve led him outside. A large bang echoed through the metal hallways of the spacecraft along with a pained sob. You didn’t know if it came from Cheol or your new passenger.

But there was nothing to step onto, only space. The view of D1N0 was soon lost, you didn’t want any of you to see what would happen to him as he stayed on Phylaca.

You didn’t want to know what you had done as you left without him.

Cheol was quiet. So quiet.

He said nothing, he barely looked at you. It felt like a stab in the back each time he looked away from you when you even looked his way or opened your mouth.

The bang had come from Cheol making a dent in the interior of the ship, wrecking his hand in the meantime. You had looked at his broken hand in horror, the sight of his skin cracked but without a single drop of blood or bone showing made you queasy.

The stillness of the ship continued for days. Your new passenger having shut themselves away from the both of you, it was different than Cheol, but the silence was crushing anyhow. There was nowhere to go, you were stuck right there, in the middle of the universe.

You used everything San had taught you back at Specus to help heal Cheol’s hand. With bandages and thread, you sewed and patched his cracked skin over the mechanical workings of his broken self. It didn’t help him deal with his real pain though, you knew that.

You couldn’t understand either of their pain completely, but you tried. He didn’t want you to try. He was hurt and he wanted you to feel as alone as he did, you knew he just didn’t want to be completely alone in his pain. So you let him stay as he was: quiet and angry.

He didn’t touch you anymore. He didn’t talk to you. He didn’t even care to respond to a single question you asked for over a week. You cried yourself to sleep each night, and did your best to create a new daily routine now that everything had changed into this still place of pain and dark glances thrown your way.

You had begun blaming yourself, you had made the choice, maybe you did deserve to be shut out by everyone.

You waited for days for him to take the first step, to tell you that he was ready to talk about it all, to tell you that he wasn’t mad about the choice you had made. He never did. He didn’t say a word. The solitude continues for all three of you on your lonely spacecraft on your way to a planet that didn’t exist…

It continued until you felt yourself going mad, the days had melted together in a bad way, the only emotion you had felt was gray and sticky and you hated it. You had begun hating yourself because of it.

“Cheol.” Was all you said to him, startling him where he sat staring into space from the cockpit. You stood a couple steps away from him, closer to the door than to the man who seemed like a shell of who he had been before Phylaca.

At first, he only responded with silence, but after a moment words formed. “Do you know why I had the phone you called in the first place?”

His voice sounded raspy and repressed as if he was choking on the syllables. You shook your head in response. He didn’t see you, but he continued.

“I convinced the management that I needed a phone that wasn’t connected to the network so that in case anything bad happened to me or the members, I would be able to contact help even when our communication devices didn’t work.”

His voice wasn’t more than a choked whisper. The words still felt like a slap to the face.

“Everything I have ever said, done, and felt has always been meant to help my members, they’re my family. Instead, I used what I had gained in the name of helping them, to ruin everything. I did it all for my own selfish desires. Can you understand how much shame and guilt is crushing me every day? Every minute I spend away from them. Not even knowing if they’re okay.”

You had nothing to say. What could you say? Could any of your words comfort him at all? Could you make him the slightest bit happier right now? Could you ever manage to keep him happy? Distracting him from all the disasters of the universe wasn’t possible, so what could you do?

Instead, you continued to say nothing. Your body fell back against the cold metal wall behind you. You couldn’t say a single word to help him, but you could let him say all the words he needed to say to help himself.

He stayed quiet for a while. Your shuffling as you slid down to the floor against the wall told him you were still there. His figure slumped back against the chair he sat in.

“I just, I can’t believe I actually left them all to fucking deal with all of this by themselves. I don’t even know if they made it out alive.” He began, voice still strained as he tried to hide everything that wished to rip him apart from within. “I was supposed to be there for them, to be their leader who stood by them no matter what. And you know what, I took pride in that, I was so proud to be the one to support those guys even in the situation we were in.”

You stayed quiet. Quiet tears streamed down your face as you listened.

“How could I just leave? What? Because I was scared of forgetting this? I could’ve stayed, I could’ve figured something out.” He was beginning to sound angry now.

“Cheol, no. You know you couldn’t have. This was the only way… wasn’t it?” You whispered, the tears clouding your eyes as you watched the back of his head.

“I- I don’t know anymore y/n. Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly at all, maybe I was actually sick like they said…” he sighed.

Your heart was in your throat, swallowing hard you decided to say your peace as well. “So… because you loved someone- no, because you loved me, you’re gonna blame yourself for everything that has happened? That feels like you’re actually blaming me, you know?”

This made him turn around. His features were tired and his skin was dull. He hadn’t been taking care of himself at all.

“Y/n, stop it. You know this isn’t your fault.” He mumbled. Tired eyes looking at your tear-stained face.

“No, maybe it is. You would’ve never broken the rules, they would’ve never found out and you would’ve never been almost rebooted. And most importantly - if you had never loved me you wouldn’t have had to abandon your family.”

“Please, just stop that y/n.” He groaned and let his head fall back, eyes closed, he was in pain. You didn’t know if it was physical or mental. Nevertheless, you wanted him to listen as well. You were in pain too.

“What? Am I making you feel bad for thinking it’s me that’s the problem and not the goddamn company that put you through it all from the start? Am I making you feel like you’re making me feel with all of your talk of how ashamed you feel that you left that life behind? Because I know, I remember how out of everything horrible in your life back then, those boys were the only thing that made you happy while you were there… So please, stop beating yourself up, Cheol. The past has already happened, we managed to get out right? What makes you think the others weren’t as lucky as we were?”

He stayed quiet for a while. His silence made your heart drop. You needed to ask him straight up.

“Do you blame me? Do you hate me?” Your voice wasn’t more than a whisper, but he heard you. It was impossible for him not to.

“I-” he tried, but his voice broke. The tears welled in your eyes. You wanted to fight for what you two had, but if he blamed you… whatever you had might be too far from saving.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

You forced yourself to say it, you couldn’t walk away from him. Even if he hated you, you refused to be the one to leave.

“It’s not that I hate you, I just hate how it hurts. Because it really fucking hurts. I’m in pain every single second and I don’t know how to make it stop.” His voice was breaking as tears streamed down his face. “But, I… I can’t lose you too.”

You placed the back of your hand over your mouth, trying to somehow hold back the pain that wanted to consume you from the inside.

“We should’ve tried saving Dino…”

You got up from your corner, your arms finally letting your legs go, replacing your own arms around your body with Cheol’s. He hugged you. Tightly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. It was relieving to say it. He had been in a shame spiral for the past few weeks. He just hadn’t noticed. Still, you stayed with him, waited for him, listened to him. He wanted to repay you for all of it.

Weeks passed yet again. Things got better, slowly but surely. You talked to each other. You were beginning to forgive each other for those weeks after Phylaca. It wasn’t easy.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, sleep, and repeat. Small conversations, still trying not to start up another fight. It was exhausting.

The stranger still wasn’t speaking much, too wrapped up in their own mind to be able to share the pain they kept inside. Not that either of you were sharing your struggles with them anyhow. It was a mutual understanding that all three of you needed some space, even as you were trapped together in space. Galaxies passed you by, and you found yourself passing time by watching the tiny lights fly past the large windows from the cockpit.

Sometimes, Cheol sat with you. Holding your hand, comforting you without words just like he had been that day when this had all begun. That helped. It helped both of you; knowing that neither of you actually wanted to abandon what you had, even after everything.

When something finally showed up in front of your ship, only a small planet, not much bigger than the moon of the earth, you didn’t allow yourself to get your hopes up.

After so many months, this was probably only another uninhabited planet with a poisonous atmosphere.

“I don’t wanna get your hopes up, Cheol, but this planet looks so much like earth…” you shouted to Cheol who was trying to get your guest to eat some of the lunch from earlier, with very little success.

If this was Lumen, maybe everything would be okay.

Maybe the void of space you had been traveling through had an end after all, despite the overwhelming feeling of being trapped and that you would all end up wasting away inside the ship on your long journey.

But if this was it…

You let the ship continue straight ahead. Cheol and your guest joined you in the cockpit after hearing your shouts across the deck.

All three of you watched as the planet became bigger. You could see water, and green patches everywhere. Clouds! There were clouds and an atmosphere surrounding the small planet.

You had gone off autopilot, Cheol helping you steer the ship toward the planet. You circled it, trying to draw attention to yourselves through the intercom system. No sign of life was heard until a small voice came through, a child. “Hello! Are you aliens??” The child asked over the crackling of the coms.

You wanted to shout, there was life here!

“Hello? We’re outside of your airspace, our registration is BO883628K, and we are requesting permission to land!” You shouted back.

“What are you doing?!” Another voice could be heard, the small child squealed and the crackling disappeared. You were scared the last shot at landing somewhere had been lost forever, but the other voice came back after just a moment.

“Hey? Who is this?”

Your body was tense, nerves firing uncontrollably as you explained your errand yet again.

“Of course, welcome to Lumen, wanderers.”

You yelped, “Lumen?! We found it?” You were jumping up and down, laughing and shouting as you felt all your worries leaving your body. Your new home was right below you, welcoming you with a warm embrace and new hope.

“Yes, you found it,” the voice crackled, you could hear them chuckling a bit at your excited yelling. “There are bigger docks located northeast of your current location, go there to land safely.”

You found a house, outside one of the small towns near the docks. You had nothing to give in return for the hospitality the diverse population of Lumen offered you, Cheol, and your newest passenger.

They didn’t care, they told you that most of the people there had already been through the same suffering that you all had. Anyone who made it to Lumen was treated like family, nobody was to be left empty-handed just because they were strangers to the people.

“Is this really here? Am I dead or asleep or something?” You said in wonder, grasping at Seungcheol’s arm. You stood in your new kitchen, it was simple, but airy. The view from the kitchen showed the sunny forest lying just behind the garden and the porch.

“If you’re dreaming I’m dreaming with you.” He laughed hysterically. “But I think it might be real…”

You jumped into Cheol’s embrace, hugging and kissing him like the past few weeks had all been a bad dream, like this was your true reality and everything bad could be forgotten completely.

He seemed happy as well, looking around the large house with you, coming up with ways you could improve the place, and how you could make the vegetable garden prosper once again. It was overgrown and run down, everything had been left to its own devices. But it was vacant, and the townspeople had agreed that you two would be wonderful as the new owners of the house. It was a short forest walk back to the town, where you had parted from your quiet passenger, telling them that they were welcome any day and that you would always have a spare room and a shoulder to cry on. It made Cheol happy, somehow trying to make up for the fact that you had lost D1N0 on Phylaca through this person that he must’ve cared about more than his own life.

“Do you think they will be able to find their way here too? The members, I mean. Like we did?” You whispered, resting your head on Cheol’s shoulder, your hand in his. You watched the dark green leaves swaying in the summer breeze, the flowers following the sun that shone more than it was gone, and the grass on the ground scenting the air you breathed in.

“I hope so, I think they will know eventually.”

“Know what?” You said and looked at him.

“That we’re here.”

You tilted your head. “How would they know to find us here of all places?”

“Remember the secret I had with San on the first ship?” He said and smiled, embarrassed about something.

You nodded. Not quite understanding what he meant yet.

“I told him to tell anyone he met that might be related to us. Actually, I told him to let anyone like us know that if we got here, we would offer a home for them to rest at.”

Tears welled in your eyes, he had been thinking of everyone else this entire time. Not once had he let himself be entirely selfish, you squeezed his hand, bringing it up to your lips and pressing a thankful kiss to his soft skin.

“I think they will come, eventually.”

The years passed on Lumen. You and Cheol had made a home for yourselves. A home that would be open for any runaways, robot, alien, and human alike. It was safe, happy, and hopeful because one day everything might be absolutely perfect in your new home.

The spare rooms of your new house would exist for them if they could ever get to their leader. The thought helped him continue, to live life to the fullest until they could join him. It comforted you as well, knowing that he had some hope left and that maybe he could let go of some of the guilt you knew he carried with him each day, and instead let himself be proud of something once again.

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homeofthelonelywriter · 1 year ago

Text

K.I.A. | Oneshot

(A/N) This one could really hit hard. Please take care of yourself.

Pairing: Simon x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: lots of angst, death of a loved one, depression, grief, alcohol, comfort in the end

Synopsis: I don't think there is a need for a synopsis. The title says it all.

It was supposed to be fine.

It was supposed to be safe.

“It’s going to be a quick and easy mission, love. I’ll be back in no time.”

That’s what he had said.

That’s what he had promised.

But he lied.

The mission wasn’t quick. It wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t be back in no time.

He was dead.

Killed in action, an honorable death.

To hell with them. To hell with their honorable death. Death isn’t honorable, death is death. And now he’s gone. And I’ll never see him again.

It’s his funeral and I can’t even look at them. The ones that survived. Price, Soap, Gaz. They all came back but he didn’t. He didn’t and he never will.

They hand me a flag, folded into a triangle. If I could, I would throw it at their heads. If I could, I would yell at them. If I could, I would I hit them. But I can’t. I can’t do anything, but stand there, hold that stupid flag and cry while they fire off their shots. I can’t do anything.

Well, I can do something. I can lie in bed. I can cry, a lot. I can ignore my hunger until I almost throw up. I can see his shadow, trick myself into thinking that he’s back. That he’s alive.

And I can think of him. Of all the good memories. How we met. The first time we kissed. How he asked me out. Our first date. The birthday he gave me the puppy.

The puppy…at the though of Riley, I sit up. At least until I realise that my mom took her after the funeral. She was safe, cared for. I was alone. So fucking alone.

I don’t know how much time passed, a week? Maybe a month. Perhaps even two.

I finally get up and take a shower. I smell after all.

The shower feels incredibly small without Simon behind me.

And that’s how I start crying again. I sit under the stream for what feels like hours before I finally find the strength to get out and dry off my body before falling back onto my bed.

But now it’s getting better.

I take showers from time to time.

Sometimes I even eat some food. I don’t cook anything, everything I’ve had, had spoiled by now, but I just order in.

It’s been four months since Price stood at my door and told me he was dead. That Simon would never come back. And I’ve finally found a way to dull the pain.

Alcohol isn’t the answer, of course. But for now it’s the only thing that is making me feel even slightly alive.

I spent most my day at the bar nearby, what else am I supposed to do?

Home makes me think about Simon.

Work makes me think about Simon.

Hanging out with my family or friends make me think of Simon.

We had never gone to this bar together, so I’m safe here. And the alcohol drowns out my thoughts of him. Well, most of them anyway. At least it leaves enough sense to find my way back home.

It’s become some sort of ritual. Get out of bed, get dressed, go to the bar, get shitfaced and go back home.

Today isn’t any different. Why should it be? But why…does it feel different.

I usually spend multiple hours there, but today I just want to get back home. After I pay for the drink I actually had, I make my way home. But I feel watched, the whole way back. At least I’ll feel better as soon as I’m in bed.

I unlock the front door and walk inside, not paying any mind to the big shadow standing in the hallway, or to how similar it looks to Simon. Instead, I lock the door behind me and shrug off the jacket I’m wearing, hanging it up.

I walk past the shadow and to the staircase leading up and to the bedroom I share…shared with Simon. But something stops me. One word.

“Love?”

I freeze not moving a single muscle. It can’t be him. But it sounds like him. But he’s dead. But it looks like him.

Stiff, almost like a robot, I turn around and look at the shadow. And I see Simon.

“You’re not real.”

I shake my head and start walking up the stairs.

“Love, it’s me. I’m sorry, I-”

I cut him off as I spin around and slap him across the face. That used to get rid of the hallucinations, but…he’s still here. His head whips to the right from the impact, but he doesn’t move.

“Simon…”

He looks at me. He is here. So I touch him.

I place my hands against his chest, against his beating heart.

And it is beating. He is alive. He is here.

I move my hands to his shoulder. They are as broad and hard as I remember.

I move them to his neck, feel his pulse. He is here. He is alive.

“Simon.”

I only realise that I’m crying when Simon lifts his hands and carefully wipes them away.

“Simon.”

A sob wracks through me and I let him wrap his arms around me.

Another sob and I let him pull me closer.

My body shakes as he holds it to his.

His body. Firm and warm. Hard, covered in muscles.

He is here. He is alive.

“You were dead.”

He tightens his hold on me.

“I know, love. I know.”

I claw at his jacket, trying to get him closer.

“I cried for you.”

Again, his hold tightens.

“I know. I wish I could’ve done something. All I could do was watch.”

I continue to cry and sob in his arms.

At some point, Simon picks me up and carries me upstairs. But not to the bed. To the bathroom.

Carefully, he sets me down on the edge of the bathtub before he turns on the shower. With hands, as gentle as I remember them, he undresses me, before he undresses himself.

He navigates me into the shower, before he carefully washes me. All the while, holding me close and consoling me whenever I have another break down.

And then, he leaves me there. He leaves the water on and it feels like he’s gone again. Maybe I just imagined him. Him being here. Him consoling me. Him taking care of me.

But I didn’t.

He joins me in the shower again after ten minutes.

“I just changed the sheets real quick. Let’s get you out of here, princess.”

Once again he picks me up and carries me to the edge of the bathtub. He had placed a towel there, so I don’t feel the cold of the metal when he sets me down.

Carefully, as if I were made out of porcelain he dried my body before he pulled one of his old t-shirts over my head. Once he is dry as well, he carries me into the bedroom and places me on the bed, before he gently tugs me in.

“I’ll be right back, my love. I’ll just get you a glass of water.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead and is about to walk away when I catch his wrist.

“Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me again.”

He turns to look at me and opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“Simon, please. I…I can’t loose you again.”

Tears are rolling down my cheeks again. And this is what he needed.

He nods and climbs into bed beside me, immediately pulling me close against his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry my love. I’ll never leave you again. I promise. Never again.”

I nod but continue to sob into his chest. And this is how I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning, alone in bed.

“Simon? Simon!”

Without thinking, I try to rush to the door, but my feet get tangled in the sheets. I fall to the floor, but get up immediately.

Please let him be there. Please let him be alive. Please.

Please please please please please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-

“Love? Are you alright?”

He is here. He is alive.

“You…you are here. You are alive.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His arms immediately wrap around me and support my weight completely.

“Ssh, it’s okay my love. I’m here. I promise you I’m here.”

Like a baby, he started to gently bounce me up and down until I slowly started to calm down. Now I know why that works on babies.

For the rest of the morning, I stay there, wrapped securely in his arms, while he cooks pancakes and cleans the dishes. I even eat in his arms.

And even after that, I’m hesitant to leave them. But I do. I let him set me down on the couch and watch him as he flies through the house and cleaned the messes that had accumulated since his ‘death’.

His ‘death’.

“Why?”

Simon stops in his tracks and turns to look at me.

“Why what, my love?”

I sigh, already feeling bad about asking this question. But I need to know.

“Why did you fake your death? And why didn’t you tell me?”

Now Simon sighs. He puts away the broom and sits down next to me.

“There was a mole in the 141 and we had to flush them out. This was the only way we could think of. I’m so so sorry love. I promise, I tried my best to get them to change their mind. Or to at least let me tell you, but the mole…he had to buy it and…”

“They were afraid I wouldn’t fake it well enough.”

Simon nods, sadness clear in his eyes.

I nod. And I can’t say that I don’t understand. I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him. I just never thought it would go that far.

“Si…please never do that again.”

He shakes his head and picks me up, putting me down on his lap.

“Never, princess. I’ll never leave you again. I swear on my grave.”

At that statement I pull back slightly and look at him. His lips were pulled into a slight smile. And then I start laughing.

“You are such an idiot.”

Simon chuckles and nods before pulling me back onto his chest.

“I’m sorry, love. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I shake my head and cuddle into him and I know this is going to be alright. We are going to be alright.

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Call of Duty - Masterlist

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babydollmarauders · 2 years ago

Text

YOU’RE LOSING ME — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n is struggling to grasp the fact that she and jack have grown apart amongst his newfound nhl stardom

warnings: angst, neglectful jack, dying relationship, long intro (so sorry), alcohol

specific lyrics: “remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light. now, i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time” and “how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?” and “how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier. fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me. i'm the best thing at this party (you're losin' me). and i wouldn't marry me either; a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her. and I'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" "lose something, babe, risk something" "choose something, babe, i got nothing" (i got nothing) "to believe, unless you're choosin' me"”

notes: idk how i feel about this. it’s been awhile since i’ve written an actual fic so i think my writing is a little rusty. there will be no part 2 to this one! i know y’all love when i make part 2’s to my angsty fics, but some fics i just wanna keep as angst and this is one of them <3

maybe we were naïve. young and innocent in thinking our love would last forever. that we could withstand everything the universe had to throw at us.

i could give us this; we did last past Jack’s rookie year. but maybe that’s when things started breaking. i couldn’t tell you for certain.

when we moved to New Jersey, we were going on three years into our relationship. we thought that milestone of three years meant we would be together forever.

we went apartment hunting, i opted to go into online schooling rather than on campus classes, late night whispers consisted of marriage and future children.

now, the last time i even brought up marriage, he told me he wasn’t ready for that. that he was at the peak of his career and didn’t want to spend time that could be used bettering his skills, to plan a wedding.

i spend most nights in an empty bed, the cold sheets serving as a harsh reminder that my boyfriend would rather go out with his teammates than spend time with me.

rather than the past early mornings of soft loving stares and cuddling on his bare chest, i now spend my mornings glaring towards my boyfriends sleeping figure; trying to calculate when he may have gotten home after i had already fallen asleep.

seven years. one-third of my life, spent with Jack.

no one ever said love would be easy; but no one ever told me it would be this hard either.

the mug in my hands is at risk of breaking from my grip, the coffee inside having gone cold. a cruel euphemism to how our relationship has cooled. the burning fire that it once was, now fizzling to dying sparks. but i still hold onto what’s left, because i’m not sure i know how to live a life without him anymore.

i sit curled up on the sofa, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the New Jersey skyline. i still remember the day that Jack and i decided on this apartment, this room was a deciding factor. we loved the lighting, the way the sun shone through the windows and cast a golden haze over the rest of the apartment.

now i sit in the darkness nearly every night, wondering if this was the end of our relationship; if it’s time.

the worst part is that we keep going on. keep playing house. pretending that our relationship is still as happy as it once was.

‘i love you’s never became a rarity, still uttered past our lips multiple times a day. but i know his words only hold an empty promise now.

how can he say he loves me when he can’t tell that this relationship is killing me?

that this dynamic of our relationship becoming a chore has slowly broken me down?

our life is robotic now. we wake up, he leaves for practice, i stay home, i do school, he comes home for a pre-game nap, he leaves for a game, i still stay home, i go to bed, he comes home, repeat.

even worse when he’s away. what once started as facetime calls whenever he was free on a roadie, slowly died until it’s nothing but a few measly unsubstantial texts.

at first i thought maybe we were just going through a rough patch, that we would get through this, but now i fear we won’t.

***

my eyes track my boyfriend at the crowded rooftop bar as i nod my head, only half paying attention to what Ryleigh says.

Nico’s surprise party has been a success. for Nico, at least.

i, selfishly, thought i would use this party as an opportunity to grasp Jack’s attention. i wore the dress that he used to say was his favorite, but not once did he mention it. i curled my hair because i knew how much he loved it, but he didn’t compliment it how he usually does. i dolled myself up in hopes that it would glue him to my side. maybe even spark that possessiveness he used to hold for me.

but instead, all i got was a measly and empty ‘hey babe, you look nice.’ when i arrived, before he chased Dawson down to discuss some new bar he wanted to check out after their next win.

i spent the next hour following him around like a lost puppy, standing by his side as he spoke to his teammates. if he hadn’t had his hand resting on my lower back, i would’ve thought he forgot i was there. but somehow being forgotten would’ve felt better than being ignored.

i’m the best thing at this party, or at least i should be to him, and he barely spared me a second glance.

eventually, i saltily left to find the other wives and girlfriends. for the past three hours now, i sit with Ryleigh and Darya. Ryleigh is currently recounting she and Dawson’s date night last night.

the party has been dwindling down, our group of people among the bar slowly dispersing, giving their final birthday wishes to Nico and going home.

“what about you and Jack?”

“hmm?” i perk up at the mention of my boyfriend, dragging my line of sight away from said boy and back towards my friends.

“i asked about you and Jack. when was your guys’ last date night? how was it?” Ryleigh is only trying to be polite, i know that. but she’s only reminded me that Jack and i haven’t gone on a date in what has to be at least six months.

“honestly? i couldn’t tell you.” i confess. “i don’t even remember the last time we went on a date.”

“well, that’s not right! we should do a double date soon! i’ll have Dawson set it up.” she smiles. “ooh triple date! you and Yegor should come!”

“we’d love that!” Darya chimes in. i let out a polite smile, but i know it won’t happen. i’ve tried too many times to set up a date night and nothing ever comes from it.

“hey, baby. you ready to go?” Dawson saunters over, planting a kiss to his girlfriend’s cheek. Ryleigh nods, bidding Darya and i goodbye.

“hey, y/n? i think Jack was looking for you.” Yegor tells me as he comes over next, gathering his wife to leave for the night.

“he was?” my voice is filled with a pathetic hope, an excitement over even the thought of my boyfriend seeking me out. but when i look back to where i last saw him, he still stands next to his captain, laughing over something one of them said. “thanks, Shara.”

he smiles, the both of them now saying their goodbyes. and then there was one.

i sit by myself, lazily chewing the straw in my drink as i watch my boyfriend and his friend.

i quickly lose track of how long i sit there, ordering drink after drink. eventually, i stop watching Jack, opting for mindlessly scrolling through instagram instead.

“hey.” my head snaps up at Jack’s voice, watching as he finally joins me. my heart thumps in my chest, like i’m a teenager again, at the thought of spending time with him. “i think i’m ready to head home.”

my mood deflates, my shoulders slumping, but i nod, gathering my purse as Jack sets some cash on the bar top to cover my drinks from the night.

i wobble slightly as i stand, Jack’s hand coming up to hold onto my arm, making sure i don’t fall. heat spreads from the site of the touch, shivers racking my body.

“you okay, babe?” he chuckles, pulling me into his side as we walk to the elevator, pressing the down button and waiting for it to arrive. “how much did you drink?”

“i don’t know. maybe three? i lost count after the first hour alone.” i shrug, my words are slurred, a product of my tipsy state. “i started off with sprite, but i switched to gin and tonics once Darya left.”

Jack is silent as we get into the elevator, his brows furrowed and him seemingly in deep thought. the whole ride home is quiet, the air charged. i spend the whole drive with my head turned to look out the window. but as soon as we reach the parking deck of our apartment, getting out of his Range Rover, he speaks up again.

“you could’ve come and found me? i was just with Nico.” i’m silent for a moment, picking up my pace to try and reach apartment faster.

“i didn’t feel like being ignored again.” i shrug as we step through the door, the alcohol giving me obvious courage that i never had before.

“what do you mean ‘again’? i haven’t ignored you.” Jack follows behind me into our bedroom, his eyes tracking me as i sit on the bed and begin unfastening my heels.

“stop.” i sigh.

“stop what? y/n/n, when have i ignored you?” his genuine obliviousness hurts more than i thought it could. the fact that he didn’t even realize he was ignoring me; that it was just a subconscious reaction for him to push me aside.

“every day.” i tell him. my eyes start stinging with tears, finally ready to have the fight that i’ve so desperately been avoiding. but it’s obvious that Jack doesn’t feel the same.

“i’m sorry you felt that way.” he tells me, barely sparing another glance my way before he starts grabbing pajamas out of the dresser.

“you’re losing me.” my words are choked out in a whisper, but i know he hears them because i watch as he stiffens, slowly turning around.

“what?”

“Jack, this doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. it feels like a job. a chore.” i confess. “it doesn’t feel like you love me anymore and i need you to just say it. because i love you too much to keep going on like this.”

“y/n-”

“we barely talk, Jack.” i cut him off. “when we do, we’re struggling through empty small talk. you’re barely home, and when you are, you don’t try and spend time with me. i sit in this house, alone, even when you’re here.”

“what are you talking about? y/n, we’ve been together for almost seven years. we’ve been through so much together.” his words are harsh, defensive.

“exactly! i gave you all my best me’s- i gave you my teenage years, i gave you all of my best years! i gave you all my empathy when you were being called a bust. when you were struggling in your rookie year and at your lowest. i sat here and comforted you after every loss! i stayed here and cried and tried to be brave every time you were gone. i defended you to everyone!”

tears roll freely down my cheeks, my nose becoming stuffy and my throat tightening. i’ve risen from the bed now, still keeping my distance from him though.

“and what do i have to show for it? an empty apartment? an empty relationship? we used to spend hours talking about marriage and our future. now, the last time i tried to bring that up, you all but told me you didn’t want to marry me.” i scoff. “and i can’t blame you, i wouldn’t marry me either; a pathological people pleaser.”

“don’t say that, please.” he whispers.

“but all i wanted was for you to see me, Jack! i’m here! i have feelings! i know it’s hard to believe, but i’m a person too! i need love! not whatever this has been.” my words fade off at the end, breaking off into sobs.

Jack’s eyes are red, tears of his own slowly descending as we stand in silence.

“do something, please. say something.” i plead, furiously wiping at my tears. i swallow a lump in the throat as he finally takes a step forward.

“i’m sorry.” his voice is shaky, breaking midst sentence. “i’m so sorry i didn’t know you were feeling this way. i’ve been so wrapped up in hockey and the team that i haven’t been here. not fully, at least.

“i took you for granted. i guess you’ve been this dependable force in my life for so long that eventually i forgot that you need more than just my presence.

“i do love you, y/n. i can’t imagine my life without you. i’ll be better, i promise. just, please, don’t leave.” he begs.

Jack steps forward, closing the distance between us and taking my face in his hands.

“i need you. i’ll always choose you.” his hands shake on my cheeks as he pulls me into a kiss. he pulls away, heaving out a broken mix between a sigh and a sob. “i’m so so sorry.”

“we can fix us. i believe that. but please, don’t put me through this again.” i beg, laying my forehead against his.

“never.”

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes imagine #nj devils #nhl fic #nhl blurb #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s writings <3

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loganwalkerz · 7 months ago

Text

Logans 26th birthday,

Tw: Gore, character death, angst with no comfort. Remember to take breaks, drink water and eat something if you become upset <3

Logan Walkers 26th birthday party

What a magical day, one that should’ve been celebrated with family was being sat inside the federation base, in the middle of the table was a cake. Logans favourite cake, red velvet. But right now he had no appetite. On the cake, 12 candles are on top. Yet only 6 candles were lit on the cake, sat at the table were men that Logan used to know, used to love. But that's the past, one that Logan sometimes missed but knew wasn’t worth chasing for.

5 men, tied to chairs watching as Logan stared coldly at his cake, beside him a gun as he used a tablet to voice his words. The robotic voice slow “I wish the others came” it says, Logan staring at the four other seats that were left empty.

He slowly turned his face back towards the others, his eyes lit up as he typed on the tablet causing the robot voice to play for him again “but you guys are here now!! I didn’t think Rorke would actually give me a gift” it sounded like the robot tried sounding happy..but it couldn't do it quite well. Logan didn’t seem to mind though, too busy doting on his new “gifts” from Rorke.

All Logan had asked for his birthday was some friends, and Rorke being the generous commander he is got Logan some friends!! Some old friends.

Sat in chairs tied with barbwire was the 5 remaining Ghosts. Merrick, Keegan, Hesh, Kick and Neptune! Logan hadn’t seen them in..well he lost track of time! He doesn't remember much of the past other than what Rorke reminds him . Which most of the time wasn’t very positive things, but today is Logan’s birthday!! And Rorke was so nice to give him gifts so Logan shouldn’t complain!

The men around the table were trying to keep calm, well more like trying to keep Hesh calm who was staring at his brother with misery and panic. All this time Hesh had been searching for Logan only for Logan to have been brainwashed, just like Rorke. Hesh thought he still had time but the crazed look in Logan’s eyes say other wise.

Logan simply grabs a large blade and makes his way around the table, Kick swears he sees a murderous look in Logans eyes as Logan simply began to cut the cake into slices. The team are unaware of whatever game Logan is playing, but whatever it is they do not like it. Logan simply lifts slices of cake onto the plates in front of each member. Making sure to leave none of them out..not like how they left him out. Unlike them he wouldn’t do that. All those team nights out where Logan was never invited or never informed. All those days off where Logan sat inside his bedroom wondering where everyone was only to find out from Hesh that they had been hanging out all together. Without Logan. God those times hurt..but never again. Not with whatever Rorke had planned anyway, Logan hadn’t been fully informed of the plan but Rorke promised Logan a lot of revenge and a much happier future! And thats all Logan wants, to be happy.

As each slice of cake was placed in front of each member with a single candle on each light, 5 candles for all 5 members of the party. Kick and Neptune glance at each other with concerned gazes trying to figure out A) how to get out of there and B) what’s fucking happened to Logan. Merrick stares at the cake with eyes of suspicion, side eyeing Logan watching his every move as Logan sets down the slices of cake.

Hesh is the first one to speak as he glances towards Logan with a sad yet worried gaze

“Logan?..Don’t you want to go home? We can eat cake at home!”

Hesh spoke in a soft tone in hopes that Logan would snap out of whatever state he is in

Yet Logan just frowns at Hesh clenching his fist around a rorke before he turns to his tablet and writes down causing the AI voice to speak

“We are home Hesh. Don’t be ungrateful”

Logan gave what sounded like a huff as he sat back down at his seat his eyes on everyone, waiting like hes expecting something. But when no one moves Logan gave a frustrated huff typing on the tablet once more

“Aren’t you guys going to eat the cake? Rorke worked very hard on it for me..”

The AI voice spoke as Logan gave some soft eyes his fists clenched as he stared expectingly at the team who all gave each other a look at the mention of this being Rorkes baking

This time it is Merricks speaking who gave Logan a blank expression

“You..want us to eat the cake Rorke made? The same Rorke who tried killing us? The one who tried killing you?”

He raised a brow at him as if not truly believing what Logan was saying but the look in Logan’s eyes proved other wise as he squints at Merrick with the ‘excuse me?’ expression as he grabs his tablet again

“Are you saying no to eating the cake?”

This time the AI voice sounded..Disappointed. As Merrick slowly glanced to the others and Kick along with Neptune both avoided staring at Logan it causes the mouthless man to become angry. He stands up from his seat and stormed out the room momentarily and when Logan came back, next to him was Rorke who Logan was holding onto.

Rorke didn’t look to amused to be dragged by his new second in command but if Rorke was honest (he rarely is) he has a bit of a soft spot for the kid. He seems lonely, kinda reminds Rorke of himself.

Logan just blinks up at Rorke rapidly and Rorke seems to understand exactly what Logan is trying to hint at and just turned towards the tied up men with a fed up expression glancing to the party hats on their head, his lips curling into a small smirk as he chuckles patting Logan on the head

“They ain’t participating in the party Huh, kid?”

Rorke mused as he walks towards Hesh grabbing the slice of cake in front of him stabbing the fork inside with a hum

“Maybe that's cause i tied them kid, they can’t eat cake with no hands”

Rorke explained patting Logan’s head humming as he wrapped an lazy arm around the younger male s shoulder in what could’ve been perceived as a friendly manner whilst smirking at the ghosts watching the way they struggled in the chairs

“You boys ready for the show? The birthday boy was very determined to have you guys here.”

Rorke says as he pokes at Hesh’s slice of cake whilst staring down at them

“How about we let the true party begin? We all love games here right?”

Rorke spins a pistol on his finger before he pulls Logan closer

“Fancy a wee game of Russian roulette, kids? ”

He spoke watching the way Hesh's eyes filled with a slight bit of panic as Logans lit in excitement at the thought of playing a game with his “family”. Its like he doesn’t even see what's wrong with the situation as he just followed Rorke around the table where Rorke removes the large cake and placed it on a spare chair to make some room as he drags the chairs forcing them to sit in a circle. All 5 men staring at each other, watching the way Rorke put a mysterious amount of bullets into the gun not letting anyone see. He then turns and gently guides Logan to a different seat and sat him down out of the circle but in view so Logan had a front row seat to the show

“A game for the birthday boy! Who do you think should start hm?”

Rorke says as he watches Logans expression closely, not wanting to completely break the already damaged boy.

Logan thinks about it before he hesitantly points towards Kick with a shrug .

Kick’s eyes widened as Rorke approached him with a pleased look twirling the gun in his hand as he stops right in front of Kick making sure to keep eye contact

“You are gonna fuckin play and make my kid happy. Or else, got it?”

Rorke harshly whispers his warning making it clear he was going to make Kick play even if Kick didn’t want too.

After all it’s Logans birthday and Rorke will throw him the best party anybody has ever seen. With cake, balloons and blood .

Kick is nervous when Rorke spins the barrel before aiming towards Kick’s head, Logan leans forward in his seat looking slightly worried himself but when Rorke pulls the trigger nothing happens making Kick relax in his seat.

Rorke then turns towards Hesh who is next to Kick and smirks

“What ya thinkin Hesh? Bullet or no bullet”?

Rorke muses as he once again spins the barrel before aiming it at hesh and goes to shoot but once again nothing comes out, at this point the Ghost are sweating and Logan is watching curiously

“Wow maybe you ghosts can get a win for once!”

Rorke smugly opens the pistols showing that the entire first round but this time Rorke makes sure everyone can see him as he begins to add in 1 real bullet into the gun.

“Alright!! Lets get to the real game now yeah!?”

Rorke announced as he spins the barrel and glanced to Logan

“Why don’t you come do the honours kid?” Rorke suggests as he watched Logan slowly a little sheepish slip off the seat as he walks to Rorke's side, feeling everybody's eyes on him as he walks to the centre of the circle of chairs Rorke made

Rorkes hand gently grabs Logans hands helping him aim at Merrick before pulling the trigger , a similar fashion to how he shot Elias but this time Rorke wasn’t as cold or cruel as he was back then to Logan.

Right now as much as Hesh hates to admit it Rorke was acting oddly fatherly to Logan despite the amount of times Rorke got drunk at Logans birthday parties when Logan was a kid. But now? There was no beer. Only fear to feed from and Rorke was finding it a lot more delicious than the shitty beer Elias used to hand out.

The pistol is spun again but this time it landed on neptune, and Logan gently copies Rorkes orders and clicks the trigger but once again it is empty.

This time Logan spins it and it lands on Kick, Logan lifted the gun Rorkes hands gently guiding his to be steady and when Logan shoots a long bang filled the room. Merrick, Keegan and Neptune all yell and cry out as Kicks body falls down to the side with blood dripping from his wound in the front of his head.

Rorke then blows out a candle. Only 4 more candles lit, only 4 more men left.

Logan is tense for a few seconds like the weight of his actions almost hit him before Rorke gently tugs Logan closer with a cold smile

“Remember son, he would’ve done the same to you” Rorke spoke quietly but its not like the others would’ve heard over Neptunes sobs anyway as Keegan tried silently consoling the man who just witnessed his lover die

Rorke as always is less than empathetic and just claps Logan on the back with a c huckle

“Next game, kid? Or you fancy another round?”

Rorke offers as he watched Logan closely, watching the way Logan looked towards Hesh as if..worried. Rorke sighs and rolled his eyes before tugging Logans chin towards him

“Pay attention Logan!”

He commands as Logan flinched under the touch nodding up at him before he gave a quiet nod pushing the tablet to type. His actions quick and a little shaky maybe from adrenaline as the AI voice spoke for him once again

“Another game, please” and Rorke nods calmly glancing around at the activities that they could do “What did you like to play as a kid” Rorke asks

And logan is quiet because hes sorta struggling to Remember the games he didn't really get to play many games as a kid due to Elias being quite a strict and unforgiving parent towards Logan and Hesh.

So Logan shrugs remembering one play ground game that Logan remembers watching the kids play in primary school. Logan would blink rapidly up at Rorke who smirks

“Simon says huh? A classic, like it kid.” Rorke would say as he stared down towards the 4 men tied in the chair a plan forming in his head as he rested his arm on Logans shoulder.

“How about we begin with..Simon says do star jumps?”

Rorke says keeping it easy at first, not wanting for Logan to spiral or panic. So as the men are untied Merrick and Keegan both know if they want a chance to survive whatever this is, then they must comply and start the random star jumps. Hesh is a little more shaky his eyes on Logan but also complies following Merricks movements.

The only person who doesn't comply is the shaking sobbing Neptune whos slowly grabbing onto Kick’s limp body whispering tearful apologies for not protecting him or getting him out of this earlier. Wondering if he had made the mistake of refusing Kicks offer of a small break from work, that if he had just taken a step back from duty for once then Kick would still be living.

Rorke rolled his eyes at what in his view was a pathetic pitful display from Neptune and simply reloads the gun with some more bullets

“Simon says, do star jumps!”

Rorke repeated louder this time his eyes narrowing over Neptunes kneeling form watching the way he trembles and sobs

“Jeez..you so called ghosts are meant to be terrifying, yet you are crying like a child. What happened to the no attachment rule huh?”

Rorke taunts as he watched Neptune continue sob, he notices the way Logan winced at the small squeaky sob that Neptune let out and sighs

“Jeez..since you loved him so much why don’t ya join him?”

And with that another loud bang causing the men to all flinch watching Neptunes body slide forward still holding Kick’s body in his arms. Both men limp.

And with that Rorke simply puts out another candle. 3 cakes lit, and only 3 men left.

Logan is quiet his birthday isnt turning out like the ones he had seen other kids have or the ones he had seen on TV but its not like he could exactly judge the situation as he hadn’t had a birthday party before

Logan can hear Merricks yelling and Keegans deep breathing but his eyes focus on Hesh who looks absolutely terrified and a little bit of guilt fills Logans stomach. He didnt want his guests to be scared. He wants them to be happy. Its meant to be his birthday so why aren’t they happy!!

Logan would slowly type on his tablet and glance up to Rorke with sad eyes “Maybe no more games?”

Rorke responded with a scoff as he gently rubs Logans cheek with a thumb

“None of that now! You were having fun..our guests are just being so rude on your birthday, but do not worry! They’ll learn not too”

You could’ve been convinced that Rorke truly cared for Logans birthday and not the downfall of the Ghosts but Hesh could tell other wise. But only if he had given his brother a proper birthday with a proper gift this would've never happened.

“Rorke stop..stop this, let the kids go they had nothing to do with us”

Keegan finally spoke his voice raspy, mostly trying to protect Hesh from whatever plans Rorke had planned and that Logan seemed to be running along with. Keegan had always been a quiet one so to hear him speak up seemed to shock logan a bit seen inside his eyes but Rorke was less than impressed.

“Keegan, keegan, keegan..What did i teach you? Stop trying to play hero. Youve never been good at it! I mean..just ask Ajax”

Rorkes words were the cold harsh truth that made Merrick wince and growl slightly as he glared at Rorke with hatred

“You’re usin the kid’s childhood to get back at the ghosts for something out of our control Rorke!”

Merrick stated as he watched the way Rorke began to circle around Logan like a predator to its prey, just happy to have another “ghost” at his side. Knowing the power he holds against the others right now

“Wanna know what I think?..I think its time for another game. Right logan?”

Rorke comments as Logan briefly looks at Rorke before back at the terrified Hesh then quickly types on his tablet causing the AI to talk again “How about Twister? Hesh loved that game!” The AI chirps and it hurts Hesh knowing that Logan had remembered that about him when Hesh couldn't’ be bothered to even get Logan a stupid fucking gift.

Rorke seems more than pleased as he begins to grab a Twister set the federation recruits kept for rainy days. Rorke laid the mat down onto the floor and just simply gestures towards the mat on the floor with a calm look on his face

“Go on, don’t disappoint the birthday boy now"

A taunt to remind them of where they failed. On how they failed Logan, just like they always have again and again.

And already the 3 military men are dreading the thought of playing a game like twister on such a small mat, the three men were built in structure and knew that someone realistically was bound to fail.

Rorke grabs the colour spinner and delicately guides Logan over to spin it, Logan was quiet as he flicks the frame watching the arrow spin before he points to it and Rorke speaks

“Keegan, left foot red 4”

Rorke called out before watching spin the colour wheel again and Rorke spoke

“Merrick, right foot green”

And the game continues before Rorke glanced towards Logan and gave a cheeky grin, placing a hand on Logans side

“You feeling a lil hungry? You look a bit pale after all”

Rorke gestures towards Keegan who seems to be battling a lot mentally. With his friends lives on the line along with his own, after witnessing others he loved die? He’s definitely going through it.

But that energy, the energy that smells so sweet to Logan tills Logans nose. And at first Logan tries to resist the temptation but the hunger grows and grows. Logan gave a soft noise from deep in his chest before his eyes landed on Keegans shaking form again. And with that Logans eyes turned into a black void as Keegans eyes widened. The usually strong sergeant could feel himself becoming weaker, exhausted. Nothing that he’s not used too but usually that’s after long missions. Not a game of twister.

His eyes catch onto Logans and his jaw drops as the eye contact makes everything worse, Keegan gasps out his arms now struggling to hold up his own weight

Yet thankfully Merrick begins noticing Keegan struggling. One of keegans legs trapped under Heshs whilst the other spread to another colour. His body beginning to shake as his energy wears down from hours of stretching but Merrick makes a decision he wouldn’t regret. He thinks fo Elias mistake and wonders if Merrick could at least some how be a different leader for these men as they are currently living. So Merrick makes his mind up to take a daring move, his left foot going under Keegans stabilising the younger before Merrick fell a soft groan escaping his lips at thw awful position for his back. Rorke can be seen approaching

“Seems we have our loser!! My my, can’t say i expected this!! Especially from you, Thomas” Rorke spoke acting surprised that Merrick done what he did. As if Merrick didn’t make many sacrifices for his men every day

But merrick doesnt get time to explain that, Instead he settles for some very fruitful words

“Go fuck yourself” Before another bang goes off. And another candle goes out. And now? Theres only two candles lit left, only two men left.

Logans back was pressed against Rorkes chest feeling his breathing picking up and his heart racing at Merricks body. Logan cannot lie and say he didn’t feel something for the man, maybe it was a crush but those are feelings Logan doesn’t know.

He watches the way the blood leaks and apart of him wants to rush over and reach out, to try and save what is already dead and gone. But theres things in life that you can’t have, and saving your friends is one of them.

Keegan and Hesh both are now next to each other, keegan has a splatter of Merricks blood on his face eyes wide as his body jerks away. He felt confused and angry, why would Merrick do that? When merrick had a better survival rate than Keegan? And thats when Keegan realised that Merrick wasn’t just a cold commander, he was a man that genuinely cared.

Keegan gazed toward Rorke with contempt

“You bastard!”

He lashes out wanting nothing more than to choke Rorke out until he felt his final breath against his hands, but at the same time he knows he needs to protect Hesh since they are the only two left and Hesh is no longer really reacting almost in a dissociated state from all the new amount of stress that he is feeling.

Not that Rorke cares as he gave Keegan and Hesh a look of indifference

“How about we play a different game this round..maybe one a litte more personal”

Rorke could see the way Logan tensed as the four stare at each other. Silence between them all loud as Rorke forced Hesh and Keegan back into a seat before guiding Logan back to his.

“It’s called, two truths and one lie. Im sure you idiots played it as teenagers as you left Logan out of your lil playdates”

Rorke hums as he began to lean back in his own chair keeping a close eye on his guests as the new game begins

Rorke could see that this is a good opportunity to get Logans hopes down but also his own plans up seeing the way Keegan was protecting Hesh with a knowing smirk. Rorke was a smart man, he had seen the way Logan had looked to Keegan before this party. Logan had even described what happened that day to Rorke through the tablet

Rorke rolls his shoulders as he hums at Logan

“Ya know kid? I am getting kinda thirsty, why don’t you be a good lad and head up to the kitchen and get some yeah? You’re good for me right?”

Rorke knew how to mess and mould Logans head perfectly, how to work him like a fiddle. As soon as Logan is asked, he nods quickly. He wants to be good, that's all he's ever wanted was for someone to think he's good. relying on Rorke's praise like its a lifeline, the friendly touches and the smiles. It felt good to be perceived as not the monster for once. So he's done as he's told and skuttles along quickly out the room.

Leaving Keegan and Hesh behind with Rorke as this new wicked game starts

Ending:

Logan is guided by Rorke back through the hallways back towards the party room where Rorke had claimed to set up a surprise for the young man, Logans eyes glanced up towards Rorke wanting to question him but he knows that would ruin the surprise so he just walks at Rorkes side with a soft expression

They enter the party room which seemed to have been mostly cleaned up, except where the main table is. Where the cake used to be is replaced with a nice red gift box, wrapped in a nice black bow. The balloons being in shades of red, Logans favourite colours.

“Rorke?”

Logan taps his tablet slowly, hesitant seeing blood splatter on the walls behind the large gift box that Logan was so sure wasnt there when he had left earlier. What had happened? Logan puts down the small crate of juice and watched Rorke sit down slacking in the chair

“Got you a gift, why don’t you open it?”

Rorke casually hums as he doesn’t seem concerned at Logans anxious expression.

“I..I thought you already had given me gifts?”

Logan replied as he slowly walks to the large box

“Mhm yeah but this one is special. The main event one could say”

Rorke mused completely disinterested in Logans fear as he watched the male approach the table

On the table is a gift with a small letter, as Logan approaches hes slow a little nervous with his movements. Wondering what happened and where did Hesh go? And when Logan opens the box he is quiet, inside was the decapitated head of Hesh staring right back at him . Logan wants to scream but being mouthless prevents that

And he feels Rorkes hands resting on his shoulder a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes on Rorkes face

“Happy birthday, Logan”

Was all Rorke whispered before Logan felt things get dark

#call of duty #cod ghosts #call of duty ghosts #elias walker #hesh walker #logan walker #keegan russ #cod rorke #ajax johnson #cod ajax #cod #cod ghost #ghost cod

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heliobitchio · 19 days ago

Text

Per Volar Sunata

Chapter 2

Soft blue light wafts overhead. Streaks of red and purple slash through it, crossing the center of the ceiling. Robots zip by, some on legs, some on one wheel, some in chairs, spinning round. Patton gently holds Thomas’ hand, smiling as Thomas looks around, jaw dropped.

“What- in the world?”

“Welcome to the Mind! This is Logan’s domain, I don’t usually come all the way up here.” Patton walks through the rows of robots working, sending data and cues all around them, bits and bytes floating in the air, ones and zeros drifting by. “Logan uses this to visualize his work.”

Thomas follows Patton close, mainly so he doesn’t get lost. He points at a huge area nearby, where robots with wings fly around. “What’s that?”

“Memory storage, I think.”

Gigantic statues of Janus, Patton, and Roman flank the gates. A fourth statue, broken, blue and orange, glitches next to them. Patton looks around, then points to a computer desk higher above the robots. “He’ll probably be up there! That's the main control.”

“The what-”

Patton moves on ahead, and waves happily when he gets close. Logan turns in a swivel chair, raising a brow, before immediately rising when he sees who’s following. “What in the- Patton! Why did you bring Thomas into here?!”

“Mainly because I didn’t know if he could, so I tried and he followed!” Patton steps over, raising a hand. “Logan, he’s not confined to the rooms, this means-”

“Nothing, this doesn’t mean anything, we don’t need to-” Logan turns as Thomas walks up, smiling faintly and folding his hands. “Thomas… what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“I told Patton I had weird dreams last night and we ended up here.” Thomas looks around, blinking as green and purple battle in the lights up above. “... Where even is- here? Is this your room, Logan? It’s a lot- different from the others.”

“It’s not my room, Thomas, not- directly.” Logan sighs softly, turning to Patton. “Go check on Virgil. He’s- downstairs, with Roman.”

“Oh, makes sense. I’ll see you later, Thomas!”

Patton scampers off and Thomas turns to Logan, glancing at his control panels. “What does all of this do?”

Logan adjusts his glasses, pointing at different panels. “That one monitors your chemical levels. Dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, GABA, and glutamate. That one there controls the four Fs, and base functions like telling you that you’ve been sitting still too long. Hunger signals, coordination… I like to keep a close eye on things.”

Thomas blinks. “Clearly.”

Logan glances up at the ceiling as red slowly overtakes the green. “Good, good- so! You’ve seen this place and what it is. Don’t you have a meeting with Joan at 6pm? You don’t need to be here.”

Thomas crosses his arms. “First of all, you eavesdropped on my conversation, rude-”

“It’s not rude I’m literally your mind, Thomas.”

“Secondly, you’re trying to get rid of me. I heard what you told Patton- what else is here? I thought you only had the rooms!”

Logan glances down, then sighs quietly. “If I show you more, and promise to tell Roman to give you the tour, will you then go back?”

Thomas nods eagerly. “Yes! I promise.”

“Very well.”

Logan waves a hand and Thomas jumps in shock, his eyes widening. The floor underneath his feet becomes clear, and down below him, he can see Patton and Virgil’s room, shifting beside the theater and the courtroom. Just barely visible in the gaps between is a huge expanse of meadows and forest, maybe an ocean?

“Underneath us are our resting places and meeting areas, and below that Roman’s domain, just as this place is mine. So goes the conscious mind, the works you are aware of.”

Thomas looks back up at Logan. “Does that mean there’s more under there?”

“Yes. The unconscious.” Logan flicks a hand and the ground becomes firm once more. “Though you’d do well not to go down that far, Thomas. He’s done good work keeping you away from the nightmares deep within.”

“He?”

Logan steps over. “Go home.”

He places a hand on Thomas’ forehead, and he blinks awake on the couch. The clock reads 4pm. Thomas stretches a little, looking around and slowly absorbing what Logan and Patton just told him. The rooms aren’t all there is to his mind. What else is possible?

Within the Mind, Logan adjusts a couple readings of the chemicals, glancing up as a burst of cyan swirls across the lower half of the ceiling. He tilts his head, then pauses as he hears someone shift behind him. He turns to see Janus.

“You heard?”

Janus nods.

“I warned him.” Logan sighs softly, adjusting another reading. “We’ll see if he heeds it. Or, if as usual, Roman’s bravado makes him charge ahead.”

“I’ll have Silas on watch.”

“Good.” Logan steps past the serpent, who simply watches him work. “We can’t afford any slips. Not like last night.”

Janus bows his head, then disappears.

Taglist:

@radar-chaos @reansunrivaledchaos @beauty-and-passion

#sanders sides #writing #sanders sides fanfiction #felix writes #ts logan #ts patton #thomas sanders #character!thomas

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kutiekirby · 7 months ago

Text

The strong feminine urge to create proseka cards for II chars w/ my humanized designs…

Sigh I’m making my own gachas and card sets. This will include my oc and AU

Though nobody but me knows what I’m talking about lemme break it down:

(Breakdances) (jkjk)

I have an inanimate insanity AU called freedom fighters (I decided on the name woo!). A story about my oc, Mephone15, going to her beloved brother, Mephone4’s show to try and kill him, like all her other siblings. Long story short, she didn’t do so, lived with 4 and Mepad, witnessed the death of inanimate insanity and Mephone4 going back to meeple, got Mepad, and Bot to get the shimmer’s help, fixed 3GS, huge fight, cobs is dead, 4 and 15 reunion, and now Mepad, 3GS, 4, 15, and Bot are a family of silly rouge robots. This is interesting once I write the fic, I just posted the summary.

The gachas and cards are below. If anything is wrong, do let me know. It is 11:44 pm as I write this, and I just ripped things off of the proseka card wiki if I’m being completely honest with you. My parents think I’m asleep.💀

The Joy We Seek gacha

Mephone4

Card name: A Fresh Start!

Quote: “Greetings and salutations!”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate Insanity

Attribute: Pure

Skill name: Reality Show Hosting!

Ability: Turns all BAD or higher notes into PERFECT notes for 5s

Mephone15

Card name: An Awkward Mission

Quote: “Do I really have to do this…?”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Freedom Fighters

Attribute: Mysterious

Skill name: To Betray, Or Not To Betray?

Ability: 120% score boost for 5s

Mepad

Card name: Brand New Assistant☆

Quote: “Not to be rude, but you should behave more professionally in your work environment.”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate Insanity

Attribute: Cool

Skill name: Always Here To Help

Ability: Recover 500 Life, +100% score for 5s

Toilet

Card name: Brand New… Assistant?!

Quote: “MISTAH PHOOOOONE!”

Rarity: 3 stars

Unit: Inanimate insanity

Attribute: Happy

Skill name: I’ve Got Your Wires, Sir!

Ability: all GOODs or higher become PERFECTs for 6.5s

Card name: Season One Winner!

“I did it! I won Inanimate Insanity!”

Rarity: 3 stars

Unit: inanimate insanity

Attribute: Happy

Skill name: Million Dollar Smile

Ability: 100% score boost for 5s for PERFECTs only

The Future Is So Yesterday gacha

Steve Cobs

Card name: The Truth Breaks Reality

Quote: “See, Mephone didn’t just make the show. He made YOU…”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate insanity

Attribute: Mysterious

Skill name: No More Secrets

Ability: all BADs or higher become PERFECTs for 7.0s. +100% score boost for 5s

Mephone3GS

(Gacha Exclusive)

Card name: Helpless And Neglected

Quote: “Please… don’t.”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate insanity

Attribute: Cool

Skill name: To Those We Wait For

Ability: Score boost 90% if life is under 800 (120% if life is over 800.) for 5s. For every 10 life, score is increased by +1% (stops as 140%.)

Mephone4 (young)

Card name: Little Big Dreamer

Quote: “Hey 4s! 15! Wanna hear my show’s story!?”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Freedom Fighters

Attribute: Cute

Skill name: Sharing Interests With Those We Trust

Ability: 250% Score boost for 5s.

Knife

Card name: Can’t Wait To Win!

Quote: “…Can’t belive I’m gonna open this door, clock this guy in the face, and become a millionaire. That’s crazy.”

Rarity: 3 stars

Unit: Inanimate Insanity

Attribute: Cool

Skill name: Arrogant, Yet Kind

Ability: 80% score boost for 5s. (PERFECTs only)

Suitcase

Card name: Retrieving The Lonley

Quote: “And- Mephone3GS? We’ll come back for you.”

Rarity: 3 Stars

Unit: Inanimate Insanity

Attribute: Pure

Skill name: I Promise

Ability: Recover 400 life, 60% score boost for 5s.

Through No Choice Of Your Own gacha

Mephone4

Card name: Nothing Ever Lasts Forever

Quote: “…No.”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate Insanity

Attribute: Pure

Skill name: Child’s Play

Ability: Life recovery +350% and score +80% for 5s

Steve Cobs

Card Name: Father Knows Best

Quote: “Show’s over. Let’s go home.”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Inanimate insanity

Attribute: Cool

Skill name: “Good” Parenting

Ability: 130% score boost for 5. (PERFECTs only)

Mephone15

Card name: Tears Streaming Down A Paralyzed Body

Quote: “I was so struck with emotion, everything went black.”

Rarity: 4 stars

Unit: Freedom Fighters

Attribute: Mysterious

Skill name: Severe Emotion Paralysis Protocol

Ability: all BADs or higher become PERFECTs for 7s.

Mepad

Card name: Console The Hopeless

Quote: “Please.. don’t cry, 15. I’m here now.”

Rarity: 3 stars

Unit: Freedom Fighters

Attribute: Happy

Skill name: The Strongest Brotherly Love

Ability: recover 400 life, 60% score boost for 5s.

Bot

(Gacha exclusive)

Card name: Is This Really Inanimate Island!?

Quote: “Wait, what!? Where am I?!”

Rarity: 3 stars

Unit: Freedom Fighters

Attribute: Cute

Skill name: An Unfamiliar Familiarness

Ability: All GOODs or higher become PERFECTs for 5s.

I’m so tired. I stared at like ten something originally. Had to add the disclaimer when I finished. Debating on whether I should add the FF and another gacha. I WOULD draw the cards but I’m bad at anime art and I’m working on smth else atm. Eyelids are starting to get heavy, adding the tags, posting this, and going to sleep.

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frick6101719 · 22 days ago

Note

hello! 4, 8, 15 for sleepover Saturday? (Yes I’m asking 8 back to you bc I’d love to hear your career thoughts) <3

HI thanks so much! I really enjoyed your thoughts on D4 so I'm excited to keep this conversation going! Prepare yourself for more answer than you bargained for:

4. Are there any characters you wish we could've learned more about? Who are they?

Like so many of us, my answer to this is a hard yes. I appreciate that the reason we don’t get so many details in the original trilogy is because that’s just how Katniss is as a narrator and a person. She is focused on the here and now, on survival, on her family, and that means she’s not wasting brain energy on details that she doesn’t find pressing in her current situation.

But!! I want more information on her parents!! I want to know more about Gale’s family!! I still have not read Ballad (someday I will…) but with SotR it’s like, I wasn’t looking for more background on Haymitch, a character whom we DID get to know well. What I want is to have characters who are in the original trilogy but who don’t get a lot of attention become more well-rounded and real. Even though we get Katniss’s parents in SotR, they are not developed in any meaningful way. All we get on them that we didn’t have before is their names, which is nothing.

More on Katniss’s relationship with her mother would be awesome. Katniss’s relationship with Hayzelle (as perhaps another sort of mother figure with whom Katniss doesn’t have the same baggage and bitterness as with Asterid) is something I would love to see explored.

So yeah. I want more on the people who are close to Katniss, who just get surface-level treatment from her POV, but whom we know are important in her life. Annie falls into a similar category, where she's so important to a character we know lots about... and yet we just know so little. I want more depth!!!

Also, and this is something I did enjoy about SotR, is getting more general worldbuilding on the other Districts. We didn’t get a lot, but I enjoyed the crumbs! I mean, District 12 is awesome and fun to learn about, but there are twelve districts. I want to know more about the other eleven!! I’m stretching the confines of this question, but that’s a big one for me too. I want the other Districts to start coming to life through the introduction of complex, 3-D characters, rather than the current trend of other-district characters being more colourful wallpaper in the backdrop of stories about District 12 citizens.

8. Do you have any thoughts on how the Career training programs work?

YES. I loved your answer about 4—I think I have similar but slightly different headcanons regarding Career training, though mine are mostly focused on 2 (surprise, surprise).

In 2, I think kids start training pretty young, and like you said, it’s just a lot of fitness stuff at the beginning to see which kids have the grit and determination to make it through the more rigorous training later on. I think in a recent chapter of IMKM I said Cato and Adrian started training at about 6 or something? I doubt all kids start that young, as those boys are special cases, but I think 2 likes to start them as early as possible.

Because this is 2, I think there is also a strong emphasis on looking for kids who are psychologically malleable. District 2 is about discipline, obedience, and something they like to call “honour.” I think probably around 12 years old they pick their handful of kids to keep going with the training and let go of the rest, and I think many kids who otherwise show promise are let go of at this stage because the Board sees that they’re a bit too headstrong or independent. They want kids who, when they say jump, don’t even need to be told how high. They want robots. This is definitely part of the reason they want to start kids young, and why they like taking kids who have parents who are very supportive of their training.

So I think from 12-18 years old they probably drop a couple kids every now and again, but I think there’s going to be a lot of variety in how and when that happens. Sometimes you have an especially strong cohort (like Cato, Adrian, and Dominic, who were all the same age) and you decide to keep all of them until the bitter end, even sending one of them in at 17 instead of 18, just because they’re strong. Their priority is sending in the best contenders every year, and sometimes that will mean a 17-year-old rather than an 18-year-old. And while I LOVE your idea of the drama of no one knowing who is going to volunteer, I think in 2 it’s more clear that there are favourites and there are spares. Especially as the kids are hitting 16, 17, they all know who is the chosen one and who are the backups. Moreover, the closer the kids get to volunteering age the more they train them closely with their arena partner, ensuring that the two of them are going to work well as a team in the arena, right until the time they’re supposed to become enemies.

I don’t think they take time off school to train. I am not sure how this would work, given that the Academies are technically illegal, and school is mandatory. I mean different districts would definitely have different ages of mandatory school attendance, depending on their industry, but I think 2 would be a lot like 12 where they school them until they’re 18 and then they go straight to their jobs in the quarries. So I think the trainees are training before and after school, on weekends, etc., and their teachers just cut them a lot of slack because they are So Special. I think this has the added benefit of meaning that trainees who don’t go into the Games are prime candidates for getting into the Peacekeeper program, and I think there’s a pretty smooth pipeline from Academy training to Peacekeeper training in 2.

I think in 1 it’s probably similar in a lot of ways, only personally I think 1 is more unhinged and scheme-y than 2 or 4. I love the idea of those wackos having a chart on the wall of their Academy with every trainee’s velcro-backed picture on it so they can do weekly ranked updates on who is their pick to go into the arena. So in 1 it’s more cutthroat, there’s less of a focus on the pairs of volunteers training together, and probably more of an issue of trainee sabotage (something that just would not fly in 2). While 2 has strict rules about who will volunteer, I also think that 1 experiences more upsets where someone volunteers even when they’re not supposed to, but while if this happened with 2 the mentors would be ordered to shun that tribute, I think 1 would be more likely to roll with it.

1 also focuses more on training their kids to be likable; they care more that their volunteers are pretty, and they generally have a much better grasp on the importance of soft-skill strategies with their Tributes. 2 is like “you will be the best killer and that will make them cheer for you” while 1 takes a much more well-rounded approach to getting sponsors.

Personally, I do feel like 4 has a distinctly different vibe than 1 and 2, even though I agree: they ARE Careers. I like your idea about there being a stipend, which I think only 4 would do, as 1 and 2 are more like “hey don’t ask us for money when you’re LUCKY your kid gets to train and bring glory to their district.” I think the fact that Mags is involved makes this make so much sense, and the rationale that she is just trying to keep more kids alive and generally benefit the district fits perfectly. But I think that 4 takes a much more organic approach to training than the other two, emphasising skills that the kids are already learning in their apprenticeships, not always having two volunteers every year (Finnick was 14 and it is just so hard to believe he volunteered at that age), and then keeping more kids in active training to ensure that they will have a few options when the Reaping rolls around. I also kind of love the idea that 4 picks their favourite to volunteer, but that they don't forbid the others from volunteering if they want to.

And then in all three Career districts I think there is an expectation that each Victor donates a certain portion of their first few paycheques back to the Academy to help keep it funded, and there is probably also an expectation that Victors return for at least a couple of years after their Victory to train the next generation (with the added benefit of helping motivate the younger kids because look, she won the Hunger Games, and so can you!)

I have so much more to say!! But this is so fucking long already I will leave it at that.

15. How do you approach the mindset of Capitol characters when writing or talking about them?

At first I was like “I don’t even write Capitol characters” but then I thought about it, and there actually are a few in IMKM, aren’t there?

I drew a lot of inspiration from the original trilogy for sure, and a lot of the way I write characters like Rhodendra, Vo, and the styling team is just doing a slight variation on the way Effie, Cinna, and Katniss’s styling team are written. That said, Vo is no genius like Cinna, nor is she rebellion-minded at all. Rhodendra is slightly less silly than Effie, and a bit more snooty, and I imagined that was because she gets a slightly better district than Effie does, so she’s maybe got her shit together a bit more (though I love Effie. I wrote from her POV once for a Hayffie fic, and while I shan’t be going back to read it for fear of encountering my old writing, I do remember having a lot of fun with her too). But yeah, for the most part I wouldn't say I did anything too creative with those guys.

I think overall, because I’m writing from a Tribute’s POV, I focus on showing that the Capitol people are real, distinct characters with different personalities and desires, but that even a Tribute like Caerwyn—who is so good at finding common ground with people and making friends—struggles to see them as being really “like her.” She’s not at Katniss’s level of “they’re like a trio of oddly-coloured birds” but she still can’t fully relate to them, even though she tries.

At this point, and with my update schedule, it will be in like 10-15 years time, but I am excited to write more Capitol characters in the post-Games. I have a few scenes drafted involving the D2 escort and Cato’s styling team, and as you might expect, the Capitolites who get to work with Career Districts are another sort entirely.

Thanks again so much for the ask! This was so fun to think about 💚

#ask game #sleepover saturday #that's what it's called right?#so fun #I spent way too much time on this #should be working or at least doing real writing #no regrets though #The Hunger Games

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zenkor123 · 3 months ago

Text

Delly sits at a neighboring table in the cafeteria chugging up what looks like whisky; her eyes are glazed like a drunken Haymitch..

“What did you do to him?” Katniss sounds angrier than she intends to be.

“Peeta? I told him he was just a mutt, not Peeta or anything resembling him, how I regretted encouraging him to keep trying after our fight in the cafeteria and that No matter how hard he tried, he would never be Peeta Mellark. I called him a liar for pretending to be him, for bearing the name of my dear friend, those memories belong to someone who died in the capitol, man, at best he was a pale imitation of Peeta and his recovery was impossible. He would likely die in his hospital room, after decades of a living death, everyone is just too afraid to tell him this. Peeta left in tears, eventually using the term "mutt" so much that he lost all hatred for it, the word never left his mind. . He was staring, unwilling to leave his bed, deep in thought. Peeta then concluded he was a mutt and tried to talk about it with his doctors, but on orders from Coin, they said it was up to him to decide. His first

question was “is delly right?” The lack of a clear rejection of this by the doctors was interpreted by Peeta as a “yes.” Not only that, but he asked them what was real or false,”"Who am I if I’m not Peeta?" And always got the same answer, he could have said “Katniss has horns and breathes fire real or false” and he would have gotten the same answer, he literally asked the doctors this to see if they would say anything different. “It’s up to you if Katniss has horns and breathes fire”. All the doctors found this funny. It's a running joke in the hospital wing.

Katniss thinks “what's so funny about that?” To herself.

Then, he heard you call him a mutt, but he felt no pain at that time. He remembered details about himself, stored in the part of his brain responsible for fear, details that the Capitol had not touched that make me happy that I was never born a Mellark. He started to see his old self as a "runt" and believed he had become a different person. Here’s another example “No one gave a fuck about me when I was Peeta true or false,” the doctors say in a robotic tone “its up for you to decide if people cared about you in the past.” This is when he began questioning whether not being Peeta was really all that bad. To have some peace for himself, Peeta made a symbolic grave for himself in his notebook so he can finally let Peeta go.

We decided on a new treatment plan. After our fight, in the cafeteria, Peeta talked to himself as if he was two different people. Peeta was found to have coped after episodes by claiming he forgot. He also didn’t remember choking you or anything from the Capitol. These all happened in the life of a person he called "Him."

To merge Peeta with himself, we showed Peeta's footage of Him's episodes, and he watched himself choke you I think 40 times. At first when he felt ashamed, he would say “Him” did it, but Him remembered everything about the Capitol taking Peeta apart. He thought back to what you and I said, thinking how right we were, he viewed the claim that he's a mutt as an established fact about himself. He now wondered what it meant to be dead to live after death. Then, with what remained of his old identity destroyed, Coin gave him a new one and promised to make him whole again. There was no apparent reason for this; which confused him. We encouraged him as he came to the belief that District 13 did this because they deemed it the right thing to do. He never believed that such kindness could exist following his hijacking. He always hated how transactional things were in town, back home in the district. He never was trusting, he never trusted you and none of his schemes demanded you trust him. It's a sign of his love for you that he trusted you at all. The hijacking has only made Peeta even more paranoid, as he can't even trust himself now. A part of him has always wanted to be better than this, and be valued. The doctors believe that D13's communal nature where kindness isn't weakness and trust is a given is slowly weakening Peeta's defenses against being misused. No no I mean Peeta is slowly beginning to trust us.”Peeta died as insignificantly as he lived real or false” and you know what the doctors would say now. “Why didn't you shoot me after I choked Katniss?” The doctors have an answer to this question as you can imagine. Coin has told us to make Peeta a “mutt in service of the rebellion.”

I am about to leave but stop when she continues her Morphling rants. Peeta was right to be distrustful of 13, now he's being used once more to kill me.

“I said horrible things to Prim, that she was only successful because of you, that she was a failure, but she’s such an angel. She said that I didn’t mean the things I said and gave me a hug, saying she trained as a medic with my brother Arthur Cartwright, who died in a Peacekeeper ambush in 2. By the way, Peeta came to me and gave his condolences. Both Prim and Peeta are too good for this world. I made Peeta's painting into a necklace. He drew me a beautiful painting of Arthur, which I threw across the floor. So I left and then kicked the bookshelf and prepared to scream at Annie. She caught wind of my conversation with Peeta and Prim. When I entered the room with her medication, she threw a knife that narrowly missed my ear and told me to leave asking if I wanted another one. That’s what pulled me out of it.”

I want to scream at her, but then something dawns on me, “Isn’t Arthur Cartwright too young to be sent to 2?”

“The nurses tell me that for district medics, the age limit is just a number. If it happened to Arthur, it could happen to Prim. Also, Katniss, if you keep fighting with Peeta, he might blow your head off. He doesn’t want to be there, fears losing control, and he’s surrounded by triggers; it’s a part of his exposure therapy. Peeta told the doctors he thinks you hate his guts and has no confidence in your ability to contain his episodes. We’re pretty sure he feels guilty when he’s around you for more than the strangling. Perhaps, it's simply another instance of his wild, distorted delusions taking over. No matter how much he denies it, a new identity requires a new past, and if he has nothing real, we have found he just puts his surviving, and returning memories, together into stories based on what he thinks makes sense to him, discarding some memories and accepting others. He's afraid that if he even thinks of his memories, especially those of you, it will trigger a flashback of the hijacking and put others in danger. His fear of episodes has reached the point of phobia, just as we intended. You should quit your guard, I mean it, he's trying to treat you like a stranger and shut you out, he even thinks it's for your good and maybe he's right. We note with happiness that Peeta is becoming comfortable In his new identity. BASTARDS!! ALL OF US! I will never be able to tell him how sorry I am, so I can at least tell you I'm so sorry, it wasn't fair to you either, I haven't slept in 3 days. Maybe it's all that morphling i've been taking. “

Delly passes out from heavy .vodka and morphling her eyes wet from tears she is slumped on the table

#the hunger games #peeta mellark #everlark #katniss and peeta #mockingjay #thg katniss #suzanne collins #katniss everdeen #finnick odair #thg #a mutts worth

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stemwriter · 1 year ago

Text

Pursuit of Knowledge - Chapter 4

Summary:

[Y/N] continues Act II of Mondstadt, finds out the worst thing about not having the ability to control time at will, and, along with Kaeya, takes a well deserved rest. What's something else that happens in Act II?

That's right! The Diluc trial run. Still, even that should be "normal", right?

Completion of story recommended: Akasha Pulses, the Kalpa Flame Rises (Sumeru Act V), Shenanigans and Sweet Wine (Kaeya hangout)

Also on Ao3 under StemWriter!

Word count: ~8k

You were part of the story now, weren’t you? No matter if the world your avatar was in was made from earth and sky or 1’s and 0’s, you were influencing it regardless. At this point, it’d probably be best to just go with the flow, but you had been thinking about what major event you would want to change, and you really hoped everything would stick to the script long enough to enable you to do that. Even if it meant you would end up upsetting people by hiding things from them.

The four of you hung around in the tavern for a bit just thinking, until Venti finally said to you, “Ah, [Y/N], it should be getting close to time now. Shall we get going?”

You looked at your phone to see the time. It was about 15 minutes past 6pm. It was time. “Oh- right, yeah, we should!”

“You two have somewhere to be? Since Kaeya and I have nothing more to talk about up here, I suppose I can go do other things. If you need me, I’ll be working the bar for a while.” Diluc said, crossing his arms.

“Everyone’s leaving already? Well then, I’ll be taking my leave as well.” Kaeya said, heading towards the stairwell.

He hung around for a second, seemingly expecting someone to say something, then left.

“Come on [Y/N], let’s go! Our prize is waiting for us!” Venti tried to make it sound like you weren’t about to try to steal a divine artifact, and become wanted criminals.

Oh right, you were going to see Diluc again after this! You should probably give him a little hint on what’s going to happen.

“Alright, we’re going to go now.” You walked up to Diluc, and began whispering. “Hey Diluc,” He looked at you. “I promise it wasn’t us, it was the Fatui.”

He looked at you in confusion.

“You’ll get that later. Anyway, bye~” Your tone sounded a lot like Venti’s at the end there. You sighed internally when you thought about that.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright fortune-teller, what’s going to happen?” Venti asked, eager to get a response from you. For some reason, it almost seemed like he already knew, and was just asking you to see what you’d say.

“Well… We’re not going to get arrested, I can tell you that. At least, not if we do this right.” You didn’t want to tell him it wouldn’t work.

“Is that all you can tell me?” He whined. “Fine, let’s go in.” He pouted after saying that. “But you have to tell me more later! I want to see how much you know!”

You went back in the Cathedral with him, making sure to be quiet. He stayed behind while you snuck your way to the Holy Lyre. You made sure to be very careful there, assuming the guards were actual people, and not the dumbest A.I. you’ve ever seen in any modern game. You looked at their movements on your way in, and they… still seemed robotic. Were they still AI? They can’t be, right? You looked at the face of one of the guards, and while his face had a few more polygons than the NPC’s you saw in the regular game, he had a blank stare as he paced back and forth. That’s… something to think about later. You kept going through the basement, avoiding being seen.

During your attempt at burglary, you remembered your soundboard. You hadn’t used that in a bit, and you knew a good moment to use it again is coming up. You got that ready as you made your way through.

As you entered the room with the lyre, an Electro Cicin Mage steals it, and teleports out. Wow! What a surprise! Thankfully, you just got teleported out of the building too, because you weren’t sure you could go back through the basement without getting caught.

“We’re busted! Run!” You and Paimon said at the same time.

Venti looked a bit confused for a second before leaving with you to the tavern. You made sure your soundboard was ready.

*Benny Hill theme*

The goofy music was fitting, considering the wind tunnel things you assumed he made threw you into the huge statue in the middle of the plaza, as well as the roofs of several buildings. Your grand escape wasn’t very graceful, but you made it safely. As you busted into the tavern, Venti gave you a weird look.

Next thing you knew, you were talking with Diluc again. Right before you headed upstairs, you decided to remind him of what you’d said earlier about the Fatui. In the version you remembered, he trusted the Traveler enough to not turn them in, but you still wanted to make sure he didn’t turn you in here. You listened as two Knights rushed in.

“Ah, Master Diluc. Have you seen two thieves around?”

“...What happened?”

“Haven't you heard, Master Diluc? Two thieves were trying to steal the Holy Lyre!”

“Oh? How odd… any ideas on who the culprits could be? Fatui, perhaps?” He remembered. Yes!

“We don’t know, Master Diluc. One appeared young, was dark-haired, and dressed in a teal green, and the other was… blond. We’re putting up wanted posters now.”

You still didn’t know how they got so much from Venti and yet couldn’t describe Aether as anything else as “blond”.

“I believe they headed that way.” Diluc said, pointing out the door.

You went downstairs to talk to him, Venti running ahead of you. Diluc already seemed tired of Venti’s attitude, assuming he stole something. Not the Holy Lyre der Himmel, but a bottle of alcohol.

You forgot the Traveler and Paimon hadn’t met Diluc yet. Sure, you have, but they weren’t you. Thankfully, Diluc understood enough to where a quick “Ooohhh, right, they haven’t met you yet!” was enough to get the point across. He continued as you remembered, sneaking in an expected bash at the Knights at the end.

Diluc really didn’t like the Knights, huh? You understood that he felt that way because of trauma and stuff, but you wished he had a more… positive attitude about things like that. There weren’t any therapists in Teyvat, were there? Oh! New idea! Become the therapist. Were you qualified? Probably not. But at this point, anyone for these people to talk to would help. You sat back and listened to Venti’s stunning performance again, this time without the fancy cutscene to go with it. Diluc looked awe-struck, probably the same way you did when you first heard it.

You agreed to meet after midnight, when the tavern was closed. Great! Another six hours to wait! …That rhymed, didn’t it.

“Alright, I don’t really have anything to do, so I’ll probably just eat something and take a nap. Bye, see you later!” You said to them, leaving the tavern. You found a corner to log off, and left your bedroom to go “take care” of yourself.

Your eyes hurt a bit from looking at the screen for so long, and your stomach growled with hunger. You’d been online for a good 7 hours, and you only now realized just how much you needed a break. Well, time flies fast when you’re having fun! ‘Was all of that really fun though?’ You asked yourself, before immediately pushing that thought out of your mind to go eat a whole family-sized bag of potato chips. Self care!

You snacked before… gracefully falling asleep, yeah, that, on your couch for a nap that would end up lasting way longer than you anticipated.

--------------------------------------------------------

As it turns out, falling asleep on an uncomfortable couch after binging on junk food isn't the best for the human body. You woke up on the floor, nauseous, and somehow even more tired than when you fell asleep, and you decided to go in the bathroom just in case. You checked the time on your phone, and it was already close to midnight. Thankfully, the nauseousness went away and you didn’t have to get worried about getting sick at the worst time possible. You washed your face, and headed to your bedroom to meet the others in the tavern.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before [Y/N] had left with Venti, they said something that Diluc had no clue what it meant until those Knights came running in, looking for the thief who stole the Holy Lyre. He had chosen to believe [Y/N] when they said they could basically see the future, and this only proved it more.

The question was no longer if they were telling the truth or not. It was how to proceed. He had some time to spare while they waited until the tavern closed. He needed to investigate this on his own. “It was the Fatui”, [Y/N] said. If that was so, then he should start where all the Fatui in the city seem to stay. He headed to the Goth Grand Hotel, preparing for a search for answers.

He hadn’t seen Kaeya at all. He was normally still out and about at this time. Did he actually wrap things up at a decent hour? Or was he up to something?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Kaeya left the third floor of the tavern, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion. He was planning to stay in the tavern for a bit, and possibly wait for [Y/N] and Venti to do whatever they needed to, but he desperately needed rest. He left the tavern, beginning to walk to his room in the Favonius Headquarters. Wait, couldn’t he use the waypoint there? [Y/N] had taught him how earlier that day.

It was at the highest point, wasn’t it? He just needed to visualize the area, imagine himself there. Just feel it, and…

And there he was. He almost fainted from the sensation paired with his exhaustion, but he made it. He glided down to the door on the roof, and entered the building. It had been a long day, hadn’t it? He entered his room, took off the bits of armor he was wearing, and promptly passed out on his bed.

--------------------------------------------------------

He woke up in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. Everything told him that he wasn’t supposed to be up right now, but he didn’t feel like he could fall back asleep. He sat up, and realized how bad he felt. He was drenched in sweat, his hair was a mess, and his eyepatch had shifted, making his right eye visible. He quickly adjusted it. There wasn’t anyone else in the room, right? …Of course there wasn’t.

After a quick shower, he changed into a clean uniform, minus most of the accessories. It wasn’t worth the time to put all of that on for the little he was planning to do. He figured he wouldn’t need it, since he could easily hold his own in a fight, should he get in one, but he decided to bring his Vision with him.

He left the building, being careful not to make too much noise, and realized he had no destination in mind. Had the tavern closed yet? Ah, it probably had, it’s not worth it. Is it? Again, something told him to just forget stopping by, but it wouldn’t hurt to check, right? He planned to stop by the tavern to see if it was open, and if it was, to get a drink before leaving the city. After that? You know what they say in Mondstadt:

“Let the wind lead.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Venti couldn’t believe Master Diluc wouldn’t serve him any more alcohol, especially when he was going to be in the tavern, in a room filled with wine barrels for so long. He was alone now, so maybe he could sneak just one more sip without him noticing… But that wouldn’t prove he was trustworthy now, would it? And besides, he wasn’t that addicted to it to where he couldn’t go a few hours without it. For now, he just started to come up with his latest ballad to pass the time.

Or at least he was going to, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about [Y/N]. From the very beginning, they knew who he really was. At first he thought it was because they recognized his voice from when he helped them battle Dvalin, but they supposedly have knowledge of future events. He was wondering how much they knew, but they wouldn’t tell him much at all. It seemed like a weird way to phrase it, and they acted like they knew a lot more detail than he did, but if they really were telling the truth, were they too, aware of the s-

Venti heard Diluc open the door to the room on the third floor. He immediately looked around at the wine barrels, making sure they weren’t touched. Good thing he didn’t try anything!

“Ah, Master Diluc, you’re back! Any news on the Holy Lyre?” Venti perked up. He already knew the answer to that, but he wanted to get the conversation started.

“It’s not where I thought it may be, in the Goth Grand Hotel, but I… persuaded some Fatui members to tell me where it is.” He adjusted his left glove.

“Well then, are we only waiting for [Y/N] and the tavern to close now?” Venti asked.

“That, and I was thinking of contacting one more person to help us. I know it’s late, but hopefully she’ll understand…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diluc stopped by the tavern to close up and check on Venti, and quickly set out again to find some others who could help. It was getting close to time, but he should be able to get someone. Hopefully Jean wouldn’t be too preoccupied with her work…

He opened the door to leave the tavern, and saw Kaeya walking away. Had he not gone to rest? Kaeya turned around after hearing the door open, and looked at Diluc with that same smug expression as always.

“Diluc, you’re still here? And here I’d thought everyone left already… I came for a drink, but I won’t bother you if you’ve already closed up.” He started to turn back around to leave.

“Hold on. I haven’t put everything away, you can come in for a bit if you’d like.” He could help right? Even though Diluc didn’t exactly get along with him very well anymore, he couldn’t deny that he got things done when he needed to.

“Oh, where’s this hospitality coming from? Do you need something from me, is that what this is?"

“I think you’d be useful to us here. I’ll discuss it with you more inside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diluc said he was going to contact people to help them, but Venti didn’t expect him to be back with help this soon.

He heard two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, and then there were three in the room. The help he had found was Kaeya, who sounded almost… shy, like he didn’t feel like he should be there. When questioned about it, he got a little nervous and insisted it was just insomnia. From the looks of it, he thought he could cover up his emotions with clean clothes and perfume. Venti played along with him, changing the subject to what they were going to do next.

“So Diluc, where exactly did you say the Holy Lyre was?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You turned on your console, opened the program, and watched the celestial pathway for a while. It had been sitting there for quite a bit now, huh?

Verifying file integrity…

Why was that taking so long?

Almost as soon as you noticed it, it went back to its normal speed, and the doors appeared. It probably wasn’t anything to worry about, but it scared you at first. You thought your game finally realized something was wrong, and was just going to either fix itself, and sever your connection to this Teyvat, or ban your account.

If you remembered correctly, Venti, Diluc, and Jean should be waiting for you inside Angel’s Share. You knew Jean couldn’t hear you, but you wondered if she would notice your avatar’s robotic movements. Apparently, she didn’t back in the Knights headquarters, but who knows? Maybe she just wasn’t paying much attention.

You walked in to an empty tavern, but after a few seconds, Venti jumped down from the second floor, landing right in front of you. He looked around, and you made Aether jump a couple of times.

“The mysterious [Y/N] has finally returned! Ready to go? Master Diluc can tell you where we need to go. Or, perhaps you already know?” He said, smiling.

He wasn’t going to stop bringing that up until you told him every little detail, was he?

You sighed, and said “Yes, I know. It’s near Springvale, isn’t it?”

You had basically just woken up, so your voice didn’t sound the best, but you hoped he wouldn’t notice. Diluc came down the stairs, followed by… Kaeya? Did he come instead of Jean? That wouldn’t drastically change anything, right? Wait, was that why it took so long to load? Because the story had changed? This wouldn’t drastically change anything yet, right? No. It can’t. Not yet.

Diluc looked at your avatar, and answered, “You’re right about the location. If we’re all ready to head off, we should get going.”

Venti turned to you, you, not your avatar, and questioned, “Everything alright, [Y/N]? Is there something bothering you?” Did you sound nervous when you answered him?

“Yeah, I just took a nap, and… I didn’t exactly sleep well. But that shouldn’t matter too much, let’s go.”

You briefly explained to Venti and Diluc how you were able to teleport, and that they should be able to do it too, and then you all were at Springvale in the blink of an eye. Venti acted like it was nothing new to him, while Diluc was… fascinated, to say the least. Kaeya had to explain to him that yes, that feeling of having your soul torn from your body was normal for this.

Diluc had quite a bit to say about it.

“Those waypoints are all over Teyvat… If the wrong people learned how to use them…” He looked in the direction of the hideout. “That could spell catastrophe worldwide.”

At one point, you had noticed Kaeya had a different shirt on. Or was it the same one, just with less of the flamboyant stuff on top of it? It was nice seeing people in different outfits, instead of the exact same clothing 24/7.

As you all stood at the entrance, you thought about what was in this domain. This was the one where you had to ask a bunch of different Fatui agents where the key to a door was, right? …And it was the one with the Diluc trial, wasn’t it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add another thing to the list of [Y/N]’s powers… Not only could they possess others at will, and suddenly make people stronger, and tell the future, but they could teleport anywhere in Teyvat they wanted to. And apparently, anyone could do that last thing. Diluc was surprised no one else had found out about this, and frankly, he was glad. There was also something else he didn’t know about yet. The other two kept looking at a spot a little above and behind [Y/N]’s avatar when they were talking to them. It felt like something was there, but he couldn’t see anything. He doubted it was a secret, since chances are, they wouldn’t be doing it in front of him if it was, but he hadn’t had a chance to ask anyone about it yet.

He was about to go in the hideout with everyone when [Y/N] gasped, and said they needed to tell him something.

“Hey,” they began. “I know I probably should have told you this earlier, but remember what my system did with Kaeya that one time? Or, I guess technically two times, but whatever- Just, that thing where it forces someone into my team?” They sounded very tired saying that. He knew they had just woken up, but he felt they were also just… annoyed by that happening.

“Yes. It happened less than a day ago. …Why are you bringing this up now?”

“So- I- Look, there’s nothing I can do about it, at least, not now. Maybe I can eventually figure out how to fix this, but-”

He sighed. "...I’m about to be forced into your control, aren’t I? You don’t have to tip-toe around it, I guessed that as soon as you brought it up. If you can’t do anything about it, do you at least know how long this is going to take?”

He trusted them, right? As far as he was aware, they hadn’t lied to him yet, and they were warning him beforehand. Still, it felt like he barely knew them. Should he trust them with his body? Did he even have a choice?

“Give me a bit, and I can check, but it shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes.”

“You make it sound like you can check any little detail with the snap of your fingers.”

This was a very specific event of the future they were talking about, but it would just take them a minute to check it? They’d done it before with that letter, but he had no clue how. Either that meant they were a very talented hydromancer, or they were getting their information from some other power or source.

“Oh, uh, I kind of can, except I have to do a little more than just snap my fingers. I type the thing I want into a device, I find the media I want, and then I have it. Sometimes it’s pretty hard to find said media, but I can pretty much find anything you could ever think of. Aaaand here’s the thing I was looking for! One more second…”

“You have a device that allows you to view information on anything you want? I guess that sounds about right if your world also has the technology to see the future of other worlds… I’m sure you already know of this, but we have something called astrology that allows people to see the future using the stars. Does your technology take advantage of that?”

“I’ll tell you more about the device later, but no, the technology my world has doesn’t use that. Astrology does exist here, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work the same as it does in Teyvat. People in my world use it to give people ideas of what may be yet to come in their lives, but here in Teyvat it’s like astrologers can see fate itself. …Anyway, I think we’re getting off track here. Going off of what I’ve seen, it’s going to take a little over 10 minutes, give or take. It might be a little longer because I’ll be focusing more on your safety than getting through it, or it might be a little shorter because I have others to help me now. Are you fine with that?”

So it’s not astrology… What is it, then? …Whatever. They’re right, they’re going off track. 10 minutes shouldn’t be too bad, especially with others watching over him to make sure [Y/N] doesn’t do anything harmful. It’s not like he had a choice, anyway.

“That’s… fine. Just try to get it over with quickly. It’s fine if I get a few scratches, just don’t kill me.”

“Alright, I guess we’re ready to head in. I’ll check to see if the guards in there can hear me. If not, great, but if so, I’m… gonna need to rethink things.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…How were you going to explain to them what a phone is, and what the internet does? That’s a question for another time, but it still made you think.

You’d let Diluc know what was about to happen to him, and you just needed to tell everyone your plan, at least for this first part.

“One more thing, as soon as we go in, there’s going to be a rotating bridge with those cylinder torches or whatever they’re called on one side, and a clear path on the other. Once the bridge flips to the clear side, there should be just enough time to get all the way to the other side if we run like hell.”

Venti thought for a second before responding with, “Wouldn’t it be better for me to just… make a wind current at the start? Then no one has to worry about spinning bridges and torches at all~”

Oh. Right. You had others to help you. He could make a wind current and you could just. Skip over it.

“...Yeah, that might be better. I guess I’m so used to having to rely on my own skillset here that I don’t realize others can help. Also, I’m probably just... tired. Anyway, after that first room, there’s a… door with a guard who acts like he’s about to piss his pants, but after that, there’s a big room with a bunch of smaller rooms inside and we’re going to have to find a key to move on. My question here is, should we split up or stay together while we search?”

Diluc was the first to chime in this time. “Normally I’d suggest we split up, but under these circumstances, it’d be better to stick together in case something goes wrong.”

“Alright.” You said. “We’ve been standing here for a while, I think it’s finally time to go in.”

Diluc adjusted his gloves, and you all went in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, Kaeya gets to witness [Y/N]’s powers of possession; except now, he isn’t the one experiencing it.

After everyone entered the hideout, Aether had vanished, and Diluc, now wearing a Fatui mask, stood in his place. Something about this whole situation seemed… familiar, for some reason. Nothing like this had happened before, right? …It’s probably just déjà vu.

“Come on, let’s just get this over with.” [Y/N] said, nudging Diluc forward.

Now, Diluc had the same slightly-inhuman movement Aether had when [Y/N] was using him as their “avatar”. He was somewhat used to seeing it on Aether, but it was strange seeing Diluc move like that. When he was under their control, he could only move his eyes, and now, he couldn’t even see Diluc’s, as they were covered by the mask.

Venti did as he said he would, and made a fairly large wind current to carry everyone over. He made it look incredibly easy. If it wasn’t for him hearing other Anemo Vision bearers talking about their experiences, he would have thought that was something anyone could do.

At first he thought [Y/N] had been hiding something from him, but he had a feeling they weren’t. Something was certainly… different about Venti. He couldn’t merely be just a wandering bard. Until Kaeya found out who he truly was, he figured he would stay on guard around him.

Diluc- No, [Y/N] walked into a small opening, thinking there might be something in the room it led into. There was a chest inside, guarded by 3 small Electro Slimes. They made quick work of them, unsurprisingly, but they weren’t paying attention to the fight, instead focused on something else.

They left the room and headed to a large door guarded by a very nervous-looking Agent, just as [Y/N] said. They went up alone to talk to him, and switched avatars to the Traveler, who was also wearing a Fatui mask. The Agent did not seem to notice the change.

“No, NO! Don’t eat me! Ah? You’re… You’re human? The entire floor’s defenses… have been broken. I thought it was the Abyss Order attacking…”

[Y/N] said “Hey,” testing whether or not he could hear them. No response at all. They chuckled a bit, and he could swear Aether said something, though he couldn’t hear anything.

“AH- No, do- We hi- The place- I don’t kn-”

“This guy-”

“Y-you- One of the Ele- Signora-”

The Agent pointed his sword at them in both fear and anger, still shaking, still not noticing the person he was speaking to change forms in front of him. So to get the key, they have to venture further in, also just like [Y/N] sai- Wait a minute, did he actually hear that guy say any of that? He definitely heard him say the floor’s defenses were broken… and then [Y/N] checked if he could hear them… and then they laughed for some reason… and then about 5 seconds later, the conversation was over. Something must have happened; there’s no way he could have said that much in that little time. He looked at where the man was again, only to see that… he was gone.

Kaeya turned to [Y/N], who now seemed nervous, and simply asked, “... Did you notice anything unusual there, by chance?”

“...Shit, you did notice. Uhhh, so remember when you first met Aether and you didn’t know his name until I told you because you didn’t hear it even though you knew what was said? I might have done the thing that does that again.”

Which was what, exactly? They hadn’t explained it yet, but now wasn’t the time to get an explanation from them, so he reluctantly decided to move on from that.

They opened the door and though he couldn’t see her, Paimon decided now was the time to ask questions.

“Did he say Signora? What a strange name…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya had described to Diluc what it felt like, and although it did feel exactly as he described, he definitely wasn’t used to it. He felt something watching him that he didn’t feel before, but when he looked in its direction, there was nothing there. He didn’t think much of it, as Kaeya had mentioned something like this to him. It was likely where [Y/N] was looking at Teyvat from.

[Y/N] talked to a guard, and for that conversation, he was thrown out of his body, now watching the Traveler from a similar position [Y/N] was. Was this how they saw the world? Strange, but again, exactly what Kaeya described.

Other than that, Diluc didn’t notice anything off with the conversation, but Kaeya apparently did. Diluc wasn’t the type of person to miss things, so he knew something weird was happening when [Y/N] responded to him in a way that practically confirmed something was off. He made a note to himself to ask them about that after this was over with.

He didn’t understand how that fairy thing- Paimon, was talking. Where was she?

“Number 8 of The Eleven. Goes by the name Signora. The fact the Fatui can run amok across the seven nations like they do is entirely because of The Eleven.”

That was his voice talking. Was that what he sounded like? …Whatever, it was just another thing Kaeya had told him about. He had been surprisingly reliable so far, but he still wondered if there was something important he was leaving out.

They entered a large hall, with a large door at the opposite end and two rooms on each side. There was a mechanism in the center that needed a key, and it presumably opened the large door. …If [Y/N]’s system hadn’t taken control of him, everyone could search one room on their own. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, so it was better they stayed together.

They first searched what seemed to be a storage room. No one was there, so they searched every nook and cranny without interruption. At least, until a few Pyro Slimes came out of nowhere, which his abilities couldn’t provide much help with. Sure, if everything was normal, he could use just his sword instead of his Vision, but…

Kaeya and Venti made quick work of the slimes, since Venti could make a massive wind vortex to suck all the slimes in. No key to be found in there. They moved on to the next room, which stood a single guard. He seemed to stop paying attention to anyone other than the Traveler once he started talking to him. The Traveler tried to convince the guy he was part of some alliance and wanted to “borrow” the Holy Lyre, but he obviously didn’t believe it, especially not when he offered a single apple in exchange for it.

A Cicin Mage appeared, and they fought. His Pyro abilities would actually do something here, but [Y/N] still wouldn’t engage in fear they would hurt him too, with how Pyro and Electro interact. It ticked him off a bit. Fight. He told them before they all went in, it was fine if he got a few scratches, just fight, don’t just run around like a headless chicken. Did this have anything to do with them being a pacifist? She’s already attacking you, just defend yourself. Fight. It’s an easy opponent, he could easily take care of her if he could just- fight.

His body stopped for a second, then pulled out a sword he’d only seen in legend, sending off a fiery phoenix at her, setting the blade ablaze. Was he back in control?

[Y/N] screamed, before going completely silent. Diluc heard something fall to the ground with a clatter, and could feel someone watching him in fear. Was that the point Kaeya and Venti were looking at?

He still couldn’t do much. He was only able to mimic the same few repetitive motions, and even those were incredibly difficult. Every movement felt like breaking out of chains. But still, he pushed. How was he able to do this? Kaeya couldn’t escape it after hours, but he could do this after minutes? The mage was defeated, and [Y/N] finally spoke up again.

“I didn’t do any of that. …Diluc?”

He tried to move more freely, but he couldn’t do anything except that same moveset. How did he even do that? He looked around, trying to get the attention of someone, but he realized he was wearing a mask. He had no way to communicate with anyone.

“I… I don’t know, maybe my controller just glitched? Let’s just keep going.”

…There goes any hope of being able to break out of it. He shouldn’t have thought it was that easy. Still, how was he able to control himself at all, even if it was just for a few moments?

They checked the last room that was downstairs, which had a chest with a few Cicins around it. Just like the other enemies here, they weren’t an issue at all. Thankfully, the key was in the chest, and the group managed to open the door. [Y/N] said there was one more fight, and then they could get the Holy Lyre, and this whole thing would be over.

“Hey, you wanna know the guy's name?” [Y/N] asked. They sounded more and more tired by the minute.

“You know his name?” Kaeya scoffed. “If you know that much, you might as well tell us what he says to us.”

He was acting as if he didn’t believe they really could see such things, but he obviously believed it. He was just saying this to squeeze more information out of them, wasn’t he?

“Oh my god, fine, but I’m not going to be able to do stuff like this all the time. First of all, his name is, I hope I’m saying this right, Zamenhoff…? And as soon as we go in there, he says- wait should I do the voice? I’m doing the voice. ‘Where did you rats scurry out from… Signora is not going to tolerate this kind of interference in our affairs. So I'll be the one to take care of you - save her the trouble of having to deal with you herself.’ …I’m sorry. I think I need to go back to sleep.”

That was probably the least professional telling of the future he’s ever heard, but as they walked into the last room, it turned out to be accurate, just as everything else they’ve said has been. They were audibly exhausted, and he could only think of one time they’ve taken something completely seriously. Should he have let them take control of him? It hadn’t gone too horribly yet, and it was almost over, but he started to get a little nervous.

They entered the fight, and once again, he tried to perform those repetitive moves. [Y/N] was actually fighting this time, but he wanted to contribute something as well. They didn’t seem to notice anything was off this time. The Agent was defeated, and finally, he was fully in control of his own body again. He immediately let out a large sigh.

“Signora is going to end you. The songs bards sing of your demise will be so terrifying - the people of Mondstadt will never sleep again for the nightmares they give them.” Said the Agent, now escaping. [Y/N] mocked him while he was saying it, speaking at the same time as him, but in a far more dramatic tone.

They mocked Paimon too, even trying to match her high-pitched voice. He will admit he found it a bit funny, but he kept a straight face, unlike the other two, who couldn’t help but chuckle. She shot them a look before vanishing again.

“You alright?” [Y/N] asked him.

“Well, I’m not dead, so that’s something.” That… definitely could have gone better.

“So… Back to the tavern now, right? Wait, Venti, aren’t you still wanted?”

“Ahh… That may be a problem… But can’t we just teleport back?” Venti sheepishly said.

“We can only teleport to waypoints, at least as far as I know, and the nearest waypoint is right next to the plaza with all of the shops. I know it’s literally the middle of the night, but I don’t think we can be sure there won’t be anyone out. I don’t want someone seeing people appear out of nowhere.” [Y/N] had a point. Doing that when someone was near may have consequences.

“So I suppose we’re walking, then? I’ll walk ahead, and make sure any Knights patrolling at this time are… looking the other way.” Kaeya said, already going ahead of everyone else.

No one said a word for a bit. Venti had a slightly worried expression on his face, as if he was hoping whatever plan he had would work. [Y/N]’s avatar had that same expressionless face as always, which was… creepy, sometimes, but they seemed like they weren’t paying attention to anything now. Normally Diluc wasn’t one to break the silence, but he had something to say now.

“That wasn’t an issue with your controller earlier, [Y/N].”

“...Hmm?” They replied. They sounded… completely out of it. “So you did that? How?”

“I don’t know. I hope you don’t take any offense to this, but your… pacifism doesn’t exactly suit the way I do things, so, I broke out of it, in a way. I wasn’t able to fully break it, but I managed to do something.”

“So the solution to breaking out of it… is to just break out of it. Wow…!” They sarcastically said, before walking their avatar into a tree.

“I don’t mean for it to sound like that. I’m guessing I had enough willpower to resist your system a little. Again, not all the way, but I think I was able to at least do what you could.”

“That’s so weird… I think I’m gonna have to set aside some time to take a closer look at my system and figure out what’s up sometime.” They yawned. “But definitely not tonight…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…God, you were tired. What the hell had happened in that domain? Somehow Diluc had managed to fight against your system, and do a bit on his own. How? No clue, but it was a nice surprise.

You remembered that quest on that far-away island that you couldn’t finish the first day. After this, maybe you could beg Venti to take you there so you could finally finish it. There was still about… what? An hour and a half? before you were able to continue it. Yeah, never mind, screw that. There was no way you’d be able to stay awake that much longer. That nap just made you more tired. Guess that quest’ll stay unfinished…

The four of you finally got back to the tavern. Thankfully, Kaeya managed to keep any Knights from seeing you. You pulled up the Wiki again, and found your way to the page on the part of the quest you were at.

Sure, Kaeya was there instead of Jean, but everyone else’s lines were still the same. It looked like things would be on the right track. You repeated everyone’s lines as they said them, but only vocalizing Paimon’s, while just mouthing Diluc and Venti’s to not weird them out too much.

“From now on, you’ll be known as-” Oh, this part, where Paimon gives him a nickname and refuses to call him by his actual name ever again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tone-deaf bard!” said Paimon and [Y/N] simultaneously. The bard didn’t seem too bothered by his new nickname.

So not only could [Y/N] could just pull up a word-for-word script of the “story” they knew whenever they wanted, but said story was accurate, also down to the word? That’s… concerning.

It had been a very long day… Kaeya hoped he could finally get some sleep. Everyone bid their farewells after agreeing to continue in the morning, and he left. Venti was still wanted, right? That may cause some problems. He made a mental note to tell Jean that the Holy Lyre was in safe hands first thing in the morning.

Again, he teleported to the Knights Headquarters, but now, he remembered why they didn’t teleport back to the tavern. Was anyone watching? He looked around, and could see no one. As for the last time he did this… He didn’t check, did he? …Whatever, it should be fine. He made his way to his dorm, and, now feeling he had enough energy to do so, actually did his nighttime routine rather than just passing out. He stayed awake for quite a while, making notes and pacing around before he finally felt tired enough to be able to sleep through the night.

Those thoughts of [Y/N]’s “story” continued as he drifted to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

“But I shall not bow to the will of fate. I am no pawn in heaven's plan.”

…Here he was, acting in a play, as a character destined for tragedy. Seemed familiar. His character was supposed to simply accept it, yet “he” had decided to improv a section on defying fate.

Despite this being “improv”, it was obvious all of this, scripted parts included, was supposed to reflect his own story. He’d noticed the similarities when he first heard of the story, though he didn’t fully remember when that was, but it seemed even more accurate now, looking at it from a different view.

The truth was, the improv was no less scripted than the rest of the play, nor anything else he’d experienced for that matter. This “play” began much before this street performance.

Even though it felt as if it had been years, he still remembered the beginning as clear as day.

When the Traveler first appeared in Mondstadt, he was unable to clearly remember anything prior to when they arrived. Hell, other than the most major events in his life, he couldn’t remember anything at all, and even those major events were fuzzy. He knew his interests, and his relationships with people, but it was like he had some strange form of amnesia. He’d wanted to tell someone about what he was going through, but every time he got a chance, he would black out, and wake up somewhere completely different.

To him, it hadn’t even been that long since he’d first noticed, but already, days had gone by. He “woke up” again outside of Good Hunter, in the middle of a conversation with the Traveler about something he couldn’t recall thinking about. It had been days. The periods of time he was being knocked out for were getting longer. He had to say something as soon as possible, but he found he couldn’t control what he was saying.

He quickly realized that he was bound to some sort of script. Sure, “fate” served as a loose script, but this was word for word. He wondered whether this was happening to anyone else, but had no way to check, since he was either stuck to this script or unconscious.

It would sometimes be months at a time now he would be unconscious, almost like slipping into a coma. The Traveler was there with him wherever he was, so he assumed they must have something to do with it, but he hoped they didn’t know they did. Maybe then he could still tolerate them.

Over time, it seemed like the writer started to tease him more and more. It started with a few jokes from “him” hinting at it being some kind of story, and now it was a whole play.

He was an actor, playing a character, playing a character destined for tragedy. The only difference between this play and his experiences was that in reality, he was given no choice on whether to take the role.

This little improv session with Prince Qubad made the audience think he refused to accept the fate he was given, that he rejected it entirely, but the story still ended in the same way it was written.

As he looked at it now, he was no different from Prince Qubad in this story. Or at least, “Kaeya” wasn’t. He knew how Qubad’s story was similar to his, yes, but this improv session added something to it.

There were two layers to the scripting. One was fate itself. Destiny. Most people knew about this, and it could be seen fairly easily, only needing the help of some magic. This already seemed like enough restriction, as it was supposedly extremely difficult to change, but there was even more on top of that, at least for him.

It looked like in the future, “he” would have to make a very important decision, and end up choosing a secret third option. While this would be rejecting his fate in terms of what the people of Teyvat consider it to be, he would still be following the narrative this second, stricter script had for him.

…Oh, the irony. Just like the play, the character is written to refuse fate. Sure, the original script may not have included that, just as “his” original fate does not include what he’s likely to do.

He’d been wondering whether he should keep trying to break out of this. Obviously, doing so would grant him back autonomy, but it would also be following the whole “defying fate” path set for him by whatever scripted this. Either way, he was still playing right into its hands.

“Perhaps there's an inept god out there deciding everyone's fates... much like the Akademiya student drafting Darbil's scripts. Yep, "inept" is a good word for it. Honestly, it might even be a little too civil to describe a god who turns fathers against their sons and is bent on endless warmongering... don't you think?”

Either somehow, he had managed to change the script slightly with his thoughts, or the writers were mocking him.

…It was the latter, wasn’t it? “He” continued on about how someone doesn’t have to follow the script if they don’t like it, like it was just that easy. He’d made up his mind. He had to get out of this, no matter if that was what the writers wanted.

The conversation was coming to an end now, he could feel it. The Traveler was about to leave, and from what he knew about their journey, they likely wouldn’t be seeing him again any time soon. Any second now, the Traveler would disappear, and he would be knocked out for gods know how long. Couldn’t they just stay a little longer…?

#sagau #genshin sentience au #genshin fanfic #ao3 #pursuit of knowledge

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