#i promise the next update will not be this sad!

[holly-fixation]

The Last Straw

Summary: After Angeal’s death, Sephiroth finds a baby in the labs with silver hair and cat-like eyes. He immediately knows it's his. He takes the child and runs out of Shinra, but he didn’t know what Hojo did to her. Through defects he did not know or understand, his child dies in his arms despite every attempt to save her. The era of mommy issues is over. He will tear the Lifestream apart to save her at any cost.

Inspired by this post by @altocat with many of my own twists.

Please enjoy.

…

The low hum of the bountiful monitors and lights lulled throughout the lab as always. The sounds, the smell, even the slightest taste in the air all forced horrid memories into the Silver Soldier’s mind. It was exam day: the worst day of the month. His year long deployments to Wutai and the slaughter they came with were butterfly kisses compared to this single windowless laboratory. 

He hated this place. He hated every caged monster for the suffering they continued to endure. He hated each glowing tank of mako for their silent threat to enter. He hated the cells he prayed stayed unoccupied to protect others from the hell he endured. He hated the noise of monsters whimpering and growling and yelping and crying-

Despite his wince, he focused his ears. Crying? That crying wasn’t animalistic. Those cries were small and…human. They had to be. Sephiroth scowled. Hojo’s lack of restraint boiled his blood. That scientist that raised him and controlled the entire department did whatever he pleased. ‘Unethical’ did not scratch the surface of what his experiments covered. Even the Silver Soldier knew this suffering was wrong, especially on another human. 

He didn’t know why that specific call lured him over to the observation window through one way glass of the cells. He usually ignored every creature trapped within like the plague, avoiding any returning memories they came with like his life depended on it. He just needed to make it through the exam, so what was he searching for the source of the conspicuous sounds?

Why was he looking into a baby’s room?

Really it looked the same as every other cell in this block except for the crib where the bed should be. The walls were plain white. The floor was tile with a single black rug covering a small section of it. A desk full of reports and results sat well loved in the corner, but clearly not by the cell’s owner.

It was a baby, the source of the cries. A human baby. A baby that barely scraped a few months old. She was so small, so scared, so fragile, so alone. Scabs and bandages decorated her reaching chubby arms. She was calling out for something. She probably didn’t know what. Her hair was silver, and when she opened her eyes between her wails, her irises were catlike, sky blue and mako green. Hojo already threw this baby in a mako tank. She was far too young to have that slightest ring of mako around her eyes. A tank would kill her. Perhaps it was a single dunk, but it was only the beginning. 

Something about the look in her eyes ensnared his attention. She wanted to be out. She wanted to be free. She wanted safety. Attention. Care. …love. She wanted sunlight and rain and color and every other basic joy she was denied by her caretaker. All of which he was denied as well. 

She cried for help, but nobody came. No one. He cried for much longer than her age, desperately reaching for the same amenities to no avail. 

She didn't deserve it. 

No one deserved it. 

His only friends were a traitor and a deadman. He was alone too.

Silver hair and mako eyes.

Silver hair and once blue eyes.

Silver hair and inhuman eyes, just as alone as him. 

His mind snapped the truth into place. The invasive, disgusting, boundary breaking truth of what this child was. Who this child was. Whose child it was. That bastard. Hojo deserved death by a thousand suns for this, but that wouldn’t protect her. Shinra would just replace Hojo with another scientist to do the exact same testing, training, molding, forming her into a hardened soldier even before her teenage years.

Just. Like. Him. 

Every instinct downed his rational thoughts. He couldn’t let it happen. Not to her too. His body moved long before his mind caught up. He only remembered vague details of their escape, of broken glass, of wrapping the child in her blanket, of rushing through Shinra security forces with everything he had. Not a single soldier or security officer died during his escape. However, the lab technicians and orderlies that threatened him and the girl were not as lucky, not with the memories they reflected into Sephiroth's mind. 

* * * 

She was so small. So… cute. She always watched him with such undying adoration. He never expected to care about her this much. Yes he wanted to protect her, but this feeling was far more than he bargained for. He didn't know how quickly these assumed 'parental instincts' would kick in. He petted her hair and she nuzzled against him. He offered his hand and she grabbed it tightly. When he pulled, she pulled back with bubbly giggles, always thinking it was a game. He spoke to her, and she occasionally called him 'Dada'. Her smile always infected him with relief. The little things she did, good and bad, only made him care more. He needed to protect her. He wanted her to love him even if he could not return the phrase himself. He wanted them to be connected, to have an unbreakable parent-child bond. 

He wanted her to have what he could only dream of with his mother, so he named her Jen. She responded so quickly to the single syllable that he couldn't change it even if he wanted to. Not like he tried to. Bigger problems constantly took priority. 

The army, the Turks, every division of peacekeeping at Shinra’s disposal hunted him like a criminal despite his aversion to combat. Did the army even know why he left? Why he didn’t have a choice? He refused to kill any member of any taskforce. He wanted Jen to grow up without death around her. He couldn’t spend more than fifteen minutes in any town on the planet before Shinra surrounded him, but he couldn’t hide out in the wilderness entirely with Jen. He needed to learn how to raise a child, trying to limit himself to one parenting book per town, and she needed bottles, baby food, and blankets. Gods so much food and so many blankets.

Less than a week after the escape, she was lighter. He felt it. Slightly but enough. At first he thought it was just the stress of her new life outdoors, but she kept losing weight even when she clearly ate her fill. She was too cold and far too weak for her age. He couldn’t put her down. She needed every ounce of warmth his body provided. 

No matter what he did, he couldn’t slow her weight loss. She was starving to death, but he had no idea why or how. Suddenly he purchased every resource he could get his hands on, yet most remedies were only for nursing mothers. The few strategies he could find didn’t make a dent in her degradation. He fed her every hour, and she ate every drop of the meals even past her own fill. He saw the strain on her face as his baby forced herself to finish the portion simply because he told her to. Jen’s behavior matched nothing he found about children her age, already infected by the lab to be obedient for results. He tried skin to skin contact while feeding her, but all that did was warm his heart under the weight of the knife growing closer. So few solutions applied, he had no idea what to do.

He even risked taking her to a doctor in Costa del Sol, a spot he knew crawled with Shinra guards, but only Shinra run cities had the technology to define the problem and hopefully save his child. Some gods must have smiled on him that day. Not only did the doctor not call him into the authorities, they took a blood sample from Jen and told him to return in a single week. Seven days later, the doctor slipped him the results in a sealed envelope. He was barely in the city for a minute. 

The results: Malabsorption. Severe malnutrition due to improper nutrients. The solution: find something to make her gain weight, and fast. She’s lucky to have a few weeks left.

‘Left’? ‘Left’? Sephiroth denied the final diagnosis with everything he had. He couldn’t let that happen. He did this to save her. He did this to help her. She couldn’t… She couldn’t… not now. Please, please gods no. Don’t let this happen. He fed her every concentrated vitamin meal he could find, milkshake-like textures forced down her raw throat. Jen reached with everything she had whenever he gave her the next meal. She knew she needed it too, she had to. Blends of fruit, protein, vegetables, carbs, anything he could get his hands on he tried to use. He tried. 

But he failed.

“Dada…” Jen called again, her voice barely audible above her breath, and he squeezed her tightly against him. She was so cold. So weak. So skinny her bones poked into both his and her own body. He couldn’t even see the veins in her arms, a symptom he knew could come from severe dehydration but she already drank far too much water.

“I’m here… I'm still here…” He spoke softly, tightening her body against his bare chest to transfer as much heat as possible. He'd give her all of it if he could, drain his entire body to a freezing death just to insure she didn't… She winced a bit at the pressure, but her body shivered. 

“Dada…” Each syllable was slow, like she was dragging a heavy weight just to push them out to her father. 

He pet her head of silver hair and tried to move her loser to the fire, silently begging Ifrit himself to keep her heart warm and beating. He didn't care about the smoke giving away their location. He just needed her okay again. Please. “I have you… You're safe…”

“Da…da…” Slower, languid and strained. Her mako blue eyes were already pale, but he watched something more fade from them. He couldn't look away. He didn't want her to feel alone. 

“Jen, please… I'm here…” He felt his throat hitch despite his incomparable strength. It was all worthless. All of his strength was worthless if he couldn't stop this. “I have you… I have you…”

“Da…” She never stopped staring at him. 

“Jen…”

“...” A moment passed. He prayed she was just gathering the strength to speak. 

“Jen…”

“...” Again, silence. 

“Jen…?”

Her eyes didn't move or spark with that small twinkle like they did every time he called her name. The slightest warmth she did emit already began to cool. He stared in agony as the mako in her irises fizzled and the green streaks of the Lifestream, her Lifestream, fell from her hands, then arms, then her entire body, draining into the dirt below and returning to the planet. Her soul. He used every breath in his body to keep that glow in her eyes. 

But he failed. 

The first time in his life he tried to save someone from his fate. The one time he truly desired victory rather than given the order to procure it. The one time he does something right for someone. Not the company. Not his army. Not the lab constantly itching for results. 

He did this for her. He did this to save her. He did this to protect her, so she could be happy. So he could… so those three words could finally leave his lips. 

He loved her. But he never told her. 

She never got the life he wanted her to have. She spent her final weeks starving with an overstuffed stomach. She suffered in the lab. She suffered in his arms. He'd never see her smile or hear her voice again. She was dead. 

She was dead and she wasn't coming back. 

She died as a fugitive in the arms of her traitorous father. 

She died cold and desperate. 

She died sad. 

She died alone. 

No… NO!

Sephiroth screamed. Not a scream of pain. Not a scream of anger. Not a scream of acceptance. He screamed in anguish, tears he didn't know he was capable of forming flowed down his desert dry cheeks. The scream came from deep in his soul and carried for miles, a shockwave that shook all fauna out of the forest. He wrapped her tighter and nearly crushed her brittle bones against his chest as he tried to will her soul back into her body. 

His baby. 

His wants his baby. 

His needs his baby!

He couldn't let her leave. He couldn't let her die. She needed the life he promised, of happiness and few worries. Of existence without the looming threat of the lab calling her in for testing whenever they pleased. A good life. And despite the fact that death already claimed her, he swore to find the reaper and rip her from its clutches. 

The Lifestream was tangible. The Lifestream carried the afterlife. He needed to pull her out of it, to save her soul and tear the planet apart if that’s what it took to find her.

His screaming stopped long ago, but how long was he sobbing? The tears in his eyes dried as he looked to the fire with determination. Someone had to have an answer. Something had to make an answer, even if it was himself. He wrapped her body in her favorite blanket, her eyes still open because one day she would use them again. He was sure of it. He took a longer blanket and used it to strap her to his back in a protective sash. 

Just as he finished with his pathetic preservation of her corpse, the ever-present soldiers that followed the smoke found him.

He wasn’t holding back anymore. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Not without her.

Everything in even the slightest shred of his way will die.

* * * 

He was a hurricane. A cyclone. A monsoon. He was Death to every village he entered, no matter how many villagers survived. Some towns were foolish enough to defend themselves. They died in a bloody slaughter far worse than Wutai ever saw. He needed answers. He needed a solution. He needed to pull her out. Nothing else mattered, not his well being or theirs. If they just stayed out of his way, he wouldn't attack, but Shinra branded him an enemy. Who were they to deny Shinra's claims?

He didn't want to kill, but he didn't have time for negotiations.

Even the smallest of towns had places to store information. He eliminated anyone who dared approach as he entered these libraries. He read decades, centuries worth of knowledge regarding the Lifestream and the afterlife. Anything even remotely referencing the afterlife claimed all of his attention. 

Planetology itself warned him of his time limit. He didn't know how much time he had before her soul was diluted completely by the Lifestream, becoming one with the planet at the cost of herself. Just another soul to keep the circle of life spinning. Another soul to be filtered through mako refinement.

Mako reactors severely sped up the dilution. He needed to destroy each and every one if he couldn't find a solution soon. 

Papers and research notes written by madmen particularly interested him. He couldn't care less about the search for eternal life, the elixirs of mako and phenix downs and whatnot to restore a heartbeat within the moment of death's embrace. He found the notes of men just like him, men who lost spouses, parents, children, siblings. Men who reached for the same goal, but they all came to the same conclusion: 

The Lifestream is too vast. There’s not enough time to find a single soul within it before it succumbs to the will of the planet. Ancient texts claim the will of the soul can keep it separate if it is powerful enough, but even that strength is on a time limit. If you’re reading this, save your breath and save your time. Either move on or kill yourself. Nothing can bring them back.

Even the craziest and the most obsessed came to the same result with only different words and phrases. Every one of them agreed that the Lifestream’s physical existence was nothing more than a cruel joke, not a tool to be used. 

They were all cowards that should have pushed harder.

Shinra’s offensive measures only served as mild annoyances throughout his search. Ambushes he saw coming, lines of soldiers prepared to take him down, Third Classes that had absolutely no idea what he was truly capable of. No one in Shinra knew exactly how strong he was. For years he didn’t either. Yet none of the company’s suicide orders ceased. 

A week after his baby’s death, the puppy of his dead friend found him on his way to the next town. Not a literal dog, his friend’s old apprentice, sans SOLDIER uniform but donning the armor and his friend’s blade.

“Sephiroth?” The boy couldn’t believe his eyes, that the fallen Silver Soldier stood before him. His hands twitched to grab the hilt of his own sword. “Is that you?”

The worried expression on the boy's face clashed with his memory of friendly smiles, of child-like curiosity, of innocence burning before his very eyes. He kept his march forward, but he turned his gaze away. He didn't want any more memories right now. That innocence was too familiar. “You need to leave, Zack.”

When the older man made no attempt to attack, Zack hesitantly dropped a bit of his guard. The black haired boy shook his head quickly as Sephiroth passed him, stumbling to catch up to the ex-First Class SOLDIER. “Why are you killing innocent people? What happened to you?! You look terrible!”

Did he? He hadn’t bothered to worry about himself. He didn’t have enough time. His uniform held dried blood and grime in every seam and his unkempt hair nearly rivaled Zack’s, but his voice was just as strong. “You need to leave.”

“When they said you abandoned Shinra, I left too,” Zack continued, trying to get an honest reaction out of the usually emotionless soldier. “I figured you went with Genesis, and… I had my own doubts about Shinra for a while.”

He sneered, his lip curling in contempt as he cut the boy off, “What do you want?”

Zack stumbled to explain, “Well now I don’t know what the hell’s going on. Sephiroth, why are you killing townspeople?”

“I don’t have time.”

“To explain? Really? Look I won’t slow you down but what happened?”

“Zack. You need to leave.”

“Can you just answer a single question? Why does no one tell me anything?!”

“Zack.”

“You can't shut me out like this! Why did you leave Shinra?”

“Hojo.”

“No shit. What did he do?”

That single curse took him off guard. He never heard the puppy curse before. It felt wrong. It felt like blasphemy. “He crossed a line.”

Zack didn’t stop pushing. “He’s pushed a thousand lines. Which one?”

His head fell and his inhuman eyes landed on the blanket sashed around his chest.

“Sephiroth, please. What test was it? What experiment? What! Happened?!” The boy shouted in confusion, not in anger, not in frustration. The boy desperately wanted to believe the soldier could be saved.

Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks, and Zack nearly tripped at the sudden change. He carefully untied the knots of the blanket and adjusted the weight. Zack didn’t understand why his touch was so delicate until he peeled open the cloth, revealing the baby inside.

She was rotting. Her body was rotting. Her skin wasn't pale like his anymore. It was blue and full of sour craters. Her cat-like eyes faded from blue to white. Her hair was the same, but her bones were broken far beyond repair even if she was alive. She was a crumpled pile of broken flesh, all due to the recklessness with which he hunted for answers.

…It wasn't Jen anymore. It was just a body. 

Zack couldn’t help but look between the man and the child. It didn’t take long to make the connection, but he didn’t understand Sephiroth’s slaughters. 

“...I need her…” That was the only explanation given.

The boy looked up to him with concern and care, the expression the equivalent of heartbroken adoration she used to look at him with. “Sephiroth…”

He tightened his hold. 

“This needs to- This needs to stop… She needs to be buried… This isn’t good for you… She’s not coming back…” He took a painful breath. “Please…”

His inhuman eyes closed. Why did Zack’s innocent weakness hurt him so much? Why did the boy remind him of her?

The boy waited for an answer, but even with closed eyes Sephiroth knew the apprentice stood at the ready in case he snapped.

“Just keep her in her blanket…” He choked out each word. Zack could barely recognize his voice. He sounded like a child, denying the reality before him. “She’s always so cold…”

So they did. They dug a grave right there in the plains of the western continent. Sephiroth was unnaturally calm as he lowered the body in, keeping every inch of her wrapped in soft and fluffy fabrics. Together they scooped each layer of dirt until barely a lump of brown remained over her body. Yet as Zack gave him a moment of silence to contemplate what they had done, what he had done, he knocked the boy unconscious. 

Jen’s body was ruined. He couldn’t have her come back to that. He wanted her to live perfectly when she returned. What remained of that body couldn’t hold her innocent soul. He needed to find or create a replacement. He had no idea where to look, but… preserving her soul came first. He swore he would save her. This couldn’t hold him back.

* * * 

Four days passed. Eleven days since her death. Eleven days since she began to dissolve into the planet. No one knew how long it took before souls became part of the hivemind of the planet. But Jen was just a baby. Whatever that average time span was, hers was halved. Maximum.

What could he do? 

What can he do?

He kept searching, kept his trek through any place with intelligent life. Shinra actually backed off with parts of the army, letting him through without death. He traveled most of the western continent untouched. Now, he was near Cosmo Canyon when he found out why. 

He saw a chopper land ahead of him before waiting for a moment and flying away. What payload could they possibly drop that could stop him?

It was Shinra’s final attempt. If this failed, Sephiroth would be treated like a natural disaster. Shinra would notify the next village of his arrival, and the authorities would sound a siren to evacuate. If absolutely nothing stopped him, the best anyone could do was live another day.

The payload wasn't a 'what'.

It was a 'who'.

A man that dared stand in his way. A man that used to have control over him, so much so that he was still breathing today.

“Sephiroth,” the slimy, irritated voice of the scientist broke through the air.

He remembered his own childhood like a waking nightmare. But worse, he remembered Jen’s pained expression when eating more than her fill simply by his instruction, her sacrificial obedience drilled into her at less than a year old.

“Are you done throwing your little tantrum-?” Hojo barely finished his taunt when the black gloved hand grabbed him by the neck and dragged him along the possessed march forward. The scientist struggled to keep his body off the ground as Sephiroth kept him down arm’s length, kicking and stumbling to avoid literally being dragged. But he couldn’t help his straggled response, “Clearly not.”

“What did you do to my daughter?”

The man clawed at the hand around his neck. “It’s difficult to answer like this, boy.”

Sephiroth tossed the man in the air like a tennis ball and grabbed a fistful of the collared shirt and lab coat to drag him down the same way. The man groaned but gods the soldier could not care less. “I will have none of your nonsense. Answer my questions.”

The scientist coughed but then let out the smarmiest chuckle. “You couldn’t ask these before?” A tighter grip on his clothing convinced him to answer. “We were trying something new. It was supposed to make her even stronger than you. To carry your bloodline the way it should be.” 

Sephiroth nearly growled.

“She showed such promise…” He almost spoke fondly of her. “Why do you care?”

“Why did she die?”

“Pardon me, boy?”

“Why did Jen die?” He questioned imperiously, clenching his teeth. “Why did she starve to death?”

Hojo’s black eyes widened in annoyed realization. “Is that what this is about? She died from her malabsorption and now you’re doing…what exactly?”

“Why was it that bad?”

For once, the scientist felt like answering. Afterall, she was to be one of his greatest experiments, second only to the soldier he was looking at. “When you were that young, you had malabsorption too. It wasn’t nearly as severe as her’s, however. The average commercial protein shakes were plenty capable of sustaining your growth. If you just communicated with the lab in the first place, we could have informed you of her condition. You could have returned with minimal consequences. Visitation could be easily implemented until the child was strong enough to live with you. Hell, PR begged us for that day just to portray you in a sympathetic light.” Hojo scoffed. “Honestly it’s all drivel if you ask me, but this didn’t need to happen. This is your fault, boy.”

Some small part of the silver soldier foolishly believed that answers would calm his heart, even in the slightest. Only with the truth did he realize he did not care about the reason anymore.

Well, half truth.

The extension of Project S, known under a sub category called S-D, had a clear goal from its inception: create a biological child of Sephiroth and imbue it with the maximum concentration of Jenova’s cells possible. They began with the highest concentration that wouldn't kill the hostesses and lowered it as the experiment progressed. However, the first child successfully birthed expired within three weeks for exactly the same reason as Jen: malabsorption. There were multiple failed specimens between the first child and Jen, each tested with a different diet for survival. The same diet as Sephiroth led to failure in six weeks. The breast fed specimen lasted five weeks. The vegan specimen died within forty eight hours. Finally they gave the only female specimen a highly concentrated diet of pure protein and water as their ultimate attempt with their current level of J cells. And she survived. Well, she survived for three months before Sephiroth recklessly kidnapped her and unintentionally starved her to death over her fourth.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Hojo couldn’t agree more.

“I need her back,” Sephiroth confessed, and he had absolutely no idea why he bothered speaking his truth to the bastard scientist. “I’ll do anything. I’ll kill anything. I need the power to save her. I don’t care what it takes.”

Power.

The man tilted his head curiously, his mind itching to see the results of his sudden idea. “I may have an answer.” Now he had the boy’s full attention. “Go to the mako reactor on Mount Nibel. You’ll know upon arrival if it's enough to complete your task. It may hold the answers you seek as well.”

The soldier threw the scientist to the ground without losing a single step forward. Nibelheim was just across the coming river. He could afford the short detour. Something told him that the scientist was telling the truth like a calling, a thread of fate, something he never felt before, yet it meant nothing to him. 

He passed through the village silently, not a single person approached or even stood in sight. He swore he would investigate the old Shinra Manor if this final mission was nothing more than a wild goose chase. His very existence since learning of his child was a wild goose chase. 

However, surrounded by the rocky peaks of the Nibelheim mountains and spotting the bridge to the reactor, he heard a voice. An inhuman, unnatural, astral voice. Somehow kind and pulling if kindness was something he cared about anymore.

Let me help you.

It came from everywhere, everything. It came from inside him with no direction and no source. But he still didn’t care. He responded without a single beat lost in his march, “I need her.”

I know. I feel your pain, my son. We can bring her back. 

The endearment meant nothing to him. He barely remembered a time when it would. He was supposed to use said endearments with his daughter to mend the loss of his mother. He didn’t even acknowledge these thoughts now. “How.”

Take the power of the Lifestream. Drain it until she's all that remains. 

“Will that bring her back?” He found himself halfway up the bridge, his mindless movement pushing him closer.

Yes. Better than before. You'll have the power to build her a new body. She'll be yours. She'll be perfect. Nothing will harm her again.

Every other place he looked trapped him in a labyrinth of the same dead end: it’s impossible. Live your life or end your life. This velvety voice was the only one that validated his desire. He could save her, but he would reach this creature first.

“How do you know?”

Into the mako reactor, through the storage chamber, up the stairs of a room with his mother’s name, he only stopped when he entered under the marquee with the engraving “J-E-N-O-V-A”. White lights suddenly blind him, but the dizziness that followed screamed something unnatural. Something magical. A promise for when victory was claimed.

Let me show you. 

Suddenly he was looking down at the core of the planet. At his sides were perfectly sliced walls of stone as if a single blade cut the planet down to its center. The green streaks of the Lifestream flowed from each stone into his body, glowing and growing. Below him laid the tiniest drops of the stream he did not absorb. Occasionally another drop would fall from his fingers and join the others on the ground, until they were all the lifeblood that remained.

He waved his hand and colors of magic he could not recognize flooded the slash. Every color in existence left his hand, making the mako drops glow brighter, and brighter, and brighter. It nearly blinded him. He had no choice but to close his eyes and turn away until it began to dim.

As the last of the glow fizzled out, the drops were gone, replaced with the body of his baby. 

Her body and soul were restored as one.

Her hair was just as silver. Her skin was just as pale. Her eyes were the shining blue stars of catlike slits he remembered. And she was healthy. No bones protruded under a layer of paper thin skin. Her eyes were not dark and sunken. She was full. She was happy. And though she was too young to speak, the gasp in her breath and the overflowing admiration in her eyes spoke for her.

She cried for him. She missed him so much.

He scooped her into his arms before she could even make a sound, but she still cried against him. She held him as tightly as her little body allowed as she just kept crying his title. Her voice brought tears to his eyes. 

She was back. She was back.

No life on this planet was worthy of her, not after letting her die. This simple embrace between father and daughter was worth more than all the life of this planet combined.

It was his baby. His connection. His Second chance. 

Her.

It was her.

.

.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Author’s Note: I honest to god made up Jen’s condition based on the fact that Jenova eats planets so Jen basically needs food from higher up the food chain to survive. I did not know malabsorption was a real thing (to an extent) so… oops lol.

Anyway, this is obviously a painful one so thanks for sticking around to the end! I promise not everything I write is sad!

[risoria]

Art raffle for Hanaa's fundraiser

Hello everyone! I am holding a raffle for art commissions slots!

The raffle is to raise money for @enghanalulu's fundraiser, linked below. It has stalled and is very low on funds - currently only 290€ have been raised.

Her fundraiser has been verified by 90-ghost here, and again here. She also has an instagram account where you can see her old posts from way before october 2023. It is so surreal and awful to see her normal ig stories laughing with friends and going to cafés, etc...

You can of course also speak directly to her on here! Every little bit of help means a lot, I'm sure!

Here is a little bit of Hanaa's story. "Hello, I am Hanaa, a graphic designer from the southern Gaza Strip, Al-Bureij refugee camp. I work as a freelancer with agents from the Gulf and Europe to generate a simple source of income that helps and assists my working father who owns a small car workshop." Both Hanaa's office and her family's house have been destroyed in the bombings.

Here's how the raffle works: donate a minimum of 20€ to Hanaa's fundraiser and send me proof of the donation (a screenshot, which must be taken today or after today, until the raffle ends) on here, and I will enter you in the raffle for a halfbody commission (usually 35€). Every 20€ is one "ticket", so 40€ would be two entries so double chance to win, etc. You can also choose to donate 10€ if you want, and win a bust commission (usually 25€). So, if you do donate 20€ and win, you could choose between one half-body commission, or two busts. (I hope this makes sense... I tried working it out in my head but I'm sure when the winners are drawn we will be able to work it out!) The raffle will be going for two weeks, so until October 22nd, and I will randomize 3 winners.

Please share this post, so more people see it! <3 (and also please be a bit patient with me as in the past seven days i've moved to a new house and started a new job so it's quite a Lot but I want to help in any small way i can...)

fundraiser link:

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[pixlokita]

"oops sorry im away i just killed greggory heehoo 🤭" you did NOT just hit us with that in the tags gfhdjksl

See you next week (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)✨

[cassmouse]

I'm really emotional today but I'm also really busy and also experiencing the most severe inability to sit down and write I've ever had and my god I want to write a Checkmatch oneshot fic but my god I physically cannot

Also if I'm gonna write anything I really need to write Flowers Bloom 😭 lord help me

[myloveforhergoeson]

okok ive forced myself to take a writing break these last few days because i've been so overwhelmed with the taswtober, tasw, os, and all the wips i have going in my docs and i've been rewatching fruits basket instead and i have this rames fic idea that wont leave my goddamn head because of it so i think today may be the day i break my streak lmao we'll see... hmmm.......

[another-goblin]

Shitposting intencifies

[onlythebravest]

Snippet Time ⏱️

I was tagged by @neondiamond to share a snippet! and it’s perfect timing because I did a lot of writing today!! this is some heartbreak from the fic I’m writing for @1daboficfest! if you want to see the other snippets from this fic, you can see them here. 

oh, and i wrote this today and it’s so unedited that I probably shouldn’t even share it, but who cares (I apparently don’t)

“We’ve tried, pet. We tried and it only got worse.”

“But maybe –”

“Harry.” Niall got up on his knees and shuffled over to him, placed his hands on Harry’s knees. “We don’t have it.” 

Harry looked up at him and saw that he had tears streaming down his face, his cheeks were wet too. He reached up to cup Niall’s cheek, wiped a few tears away before dropping his knees down and leaning towards him, desperately pressing their lips together.

He knew that this was the direction the conversation would go, this was what he too had planned to say when he had said they needed to talk, but hearing it was so much more painful than he could’ve ever imagined.

Niall kissed him back with equal desperation, got up on his knees and moved even closer as he brought one hand up to the back of Harry’s head. The kiss was wet and salty from their tears, but Harry didn’t care. He couldn’t lose Niall, he didn’t want to lose him.

When Niall pulled back, Harry whined and shook his head, grabbed the front of Niall’s shirt and pulled him back, causing him to lose his balance and fall on top of Harry. Harry ignored how the armrest of the sofa dug uncomfortably into his back, he just needed to keep Niall close. He pushed his tongue into his mouth in a way without a hint of elegance. He licked and pushed and pressed and didn’t care that it was one of the worst kisses he had ever had. 

I’m going to tag @nooradeservedbetter, @justanothershadeofblue, @beelou, @hellolovers13, @huggieshalo and @wabadabadaba. if you’re not tagged but want to do this, just say I tagged you! 

[horizonclan]

I just realised-

On Moon 3 please pretend Antsilk's shoulder is wounded/herb covered. I forgot he was wounded.

[studyrenaissance]

btw to anyone following the blog: I do plan to post! I start uni in two weeks so you’ll see a ramp up in posts around then :)

[obsesssedblerd]

Part Four: "I promise, I'll make this right."

- the jjk men promising to be a better partner for you after they forget your anniversary. 

final written part of this smau series.

Pt 1: Toji, Nanami, Geto, and Sukuna

update: gojo, shiu and choso here

contains: angst to comfort

a/n: AHHHHH FINALLY!!!! here's part one! sorry for any mistakes!

thank you so much for being patient. I appreciate it. <3

---

TOJI 

Before you can even knock on the door to Toji’s house, it flies open. Five year-old Megumi drops his dog plushie and rushes to hug your legs, his body shaking as he looks up at you with teary eyes. “Where’d you go? I was scared that you weren’t coming back.” 

“Aw, Gumi,” you sigh, reaching down to pick him up so you could hug him closer to you. “I’m sorry, honey.” 

“Please don’t leave,” he whimpers between sniffles. “Me, Tsumiki and Papa would be so sad. He’s already sad. He was crying yesterday.” 

You knew it. You thought your mind was playing tricks on you when Toji came to see you yesterday, but you heard correctly—he was crying. Your heart aches at the utter fear in Megumi’s voice, and the way he’s clinging to you, like he’s certain that you’d disappear if he didn’t. You had greatly underestimated how much you meant to him.

“Megs?! You can’t just open the door for anyone! It’s dangerous—” Toji gasps when he comes downstairs and sees you there, holding Megumi and comforting him. He stands there frozen, eyes wide with disbelief. 

One look at his eyes confirms what you heard last night. They were a little red and slightly puffy.

“Sweetheart,” you whisper to the boy in your arms, “I need to talk to your dad, alright? Why don’t you head back inside?” 

He nods, and you set him on his feet. “Sorry, Papa,” he mutters to Toji as he uses his sleeve to wipe his eyes. 

Toji smiles softly at him and ruffles his spiky hair. “It’s okay.” 

Once Megumi is inside, you and Toji stand next to each other on the porch. You think about what life’s been like the last few days. The anger, the arguing. The hurt. Perhaps this was the hardest part—accepting that you can’t keep pretending that everything is alright, no matter how much you love Toji. 

A warm, comforting hand intertwined with yours, and it shakes you from your thoughts. “We have to talk about this,” Toji starts. “I can’t let this happen.” 

You exhale. “Toji.” 

“I do not care what needs to be done. I’ll do it,” he says, his voice thick with determination.

You glare at him. “I meant it when I said that I’m tired.” 

“And I meant it when I said that I’m not letting you walk away,” he bites back, then takes a small, shaky breath. “Yes, I was crying yesterday,” he admits. “I was crying because you’re considering leaving me, and it terrifies me so much more than I thought it does. Treating you like you don’t matter to me by always hanging out with my friends, along with forgetting our anniversary is such a shitty thing to do, and I know that there’s nothing I can do or say to undo that.” He then squeezes your hand gently, desperately. “But I’m going to try to make it right by keeping my promise to you and being a better man for you.” 

You want to say something, but your eyes pool with tears, so you face the ground instead. It’s so frustrating. You want this to work. You love him, and walking away from him will destroy you, but you also didn’t know if it could work. What if he chooses his friends again? What if he continues forgetting you? What if none of this is worth it and—

“Look at me.” His voice is soft, yet firm.

You shake your head. 

“Baby, please, look at me.” 

You muster the strength to meet his eyes, and his thumbs tenderly swipe underneath yours to wipe away the tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, slightly leaning forward so your foreheads are touching. “I’m so sorry. I swear to you, I’ll never do this shit to you again.”

You’re quiet for a while, then you tell him, “If it does happen again, then I’m done.” 

“Deal.” 

He pulls you to him, and you feel his body relaxing into yours. When you hear him sniffle, you begin to pull back, but he only holds you tighter. He’s crying again, and he doesn’t want you to see. “No,” he tells you in a quivering whisper. “Just let me hold you for a minute.” 

“Toji-” 

“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you disappeared. Not to mention figure out a way to break it down to Megumi and Tsumiki.” At the mention of his kids, he sniffles again. “Especially Megumi. Fuck, if you left, I don’t think he’d ever forgive me, or smile again. You make him so happy and comfortable.” 

You let him take his time, and relax your head on his shoulder. Once he’s calm again, he pulls away to look at you. “Give me a day to find a new restaurant for our anniversary, and find a babysitter for the kids. Then, I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” 

“Yes. I’m going all out to make this up to you. You’re crazy if you think all you’re getting is a dinner after I fucked up this badly.”

---

NANAMI

Though you were super upset with him, you still dreamed of Kento. You dreamed of hefty, detailed conversations that weren’t rushed, long walks along the sandy beaches of Malaysia, private moments that had no chance of being interrupted, and plenty of time to do nothing at all. 

When you awoke from your dreams and remembered that he made the decision to spend his only free moment with Shoko and not you on your anniversary, your heart ached brutally within your chest. Is this how it was going to be forever? Are you going to spend your entire relationship wishing to be with him rather than actually spending time with him? 

You know that you have to talk to him; you’re just unsure of what you’re going to say. A part of you has accepted that Kento Nanami is simply too busy for a relationship with you, and that he’d rather spend his limited free time relaxing. 

You sit in your car, which is parked outside of the house that you and Kento share. Maybe it was best for you two to split ways. You could break the news, then move out within a month. You have plenty of money in your savings, and resources to help you find a new place fast. 

Okay, you think to yourself. Time to go. You exit your car, then walk in towards the front door, your hands shaking while reaching for your keys. When you finally unlock the door and step inside, you stop in your tracks. The living room of your house is beautifully decorated with red and gold balloons and streamers, and there’s rose petals sprinkled on the floor. On the table, there’s a massive, luxurious bouquet of roses in a glass vase, and a box of chocolate covered fruit next to it. There’s also various gift bags neatly arranged on the couch and the floor. 

You expected this. 

“Love, is that you?” You hear Kento’s voice come from the kitchen, and then he appears in the doorway, his shoulders slumping when he sees you. He’s holding another gift bag, and it looks like he was getting ready to place it with the rest. 

“Kento, I-” 

“No, sweetheart, please.” He sighs, then walks over to you. “Please allow me to explain myself.” 

“There’s nothing that needs to be explained. You missed our anniversary.” 

He grabs your hand when you start walking in the other direction. “And I’m so sorry for it. I’m extremely disappointed in myself for missing the dinner you had planned. I promise-” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing, Kento. You keep promising, but you never deliver on those promises!” You snap, whirling around to face him. “You promise me that you’re going to work less so we can spend time together, but you never do. You promise me that things are going to change, but they never do. You promised me one night, which was all I wanted, and you missed it. I took care of everything else so all you had to do was just show up, but even that was too much for you!” 

Kento goes quiet, his honey brown eyes full of desperation as he squeezes your hand gently. “I know,” he says softly. “You’re right. I’ve made promises, and I never delivered. It’s incredibly selfish to ask for more when you’ve already given so much without me returning any of it. It got so bad to the point where you believe that asking for one night is asking for too much, even though you deserve far more than that. I understand all of it, love, and I know why you feel like a break-up is the only option, but… I can’t let you go. I’d be so lost without you. Keeping you requires change, and I’m going to change things, starting now, if you grant me another chance.”

When you don’t answer, he continues, “You’ve been gone for so long. I spent hours sitting here, right on this couch, waiting for you to walk through the door. I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t. I felt sick, and I couldn’t sleep. I don’t want to get used to you not being here anymore. I don’t want to live a life where you’re not here by my side. I love you. I’m so sorry for taking you for granted. I have a lot to prove to you, and if you give me another chance, I’ll do it, no matter how long it might take. I won your heart once, and I’ll win it again.” 

You’re still quiet, but Kento doesn’t press you. Instead, he brings your hand to his mouth and places a light kiss on it. “I have two months off,” he says softly. “Come to Malaysia with me.” 

That surprises you. You blink in shock, then meet his eyes. “What??? Is two months even possible? But Kento, what about your job? Isn’t there something big happening in Shibuya?” 

“I told Yaga that I needed time off, so I got unassigned from that. Since I have had plenty of PTO earned over the years, it’s no problem,” he says simply, then gestures to the room full of presents. “Gifts mean nothing when what you crave the most is time with me. So, I want to give you that, like I should’ve done so long ago. Come to Malaysia with me, and I’ll earn you back there. Just me and you. No sorcerer stuff, no students, no interruptions.” 

“But-” 

“Sweetheart.” His voice is slightly shaky. “I always keep saying how I’d be spending more time with you after just one more mission.” His eyes drift downward. “But as a sorcerer, there’s no guarantee that I’ll come home every single time. There might be a mission where I don’t make it back, and I’ll regret all of the time I didn’t get to spend with you.” 

Your heart suddenly feels heavy. You hate talking about this stuff with him. You can’t imagine getting a phone call and hearing that he died on a mission. However, he’s right. There isn’t a guarantee, and you would be stupid to think that there is. 

He strokes your cheek tenderly, and it pulls you back to reality. “Come with me,” he says. “Let it be the start of me not only making this up to you, but also changing like I talked about earlier.” 

Time alone, completely uninterrupted. It’s all you ever wanted. You know that it would take time to return to good terms, but like he said, it’s a start. 

“Okay,” you say, and he sighs in relief before pulling you into his arms. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I promise, I won’t mess this up.”

---

GETO

Shoko lightly taps your shoulder, and it snaps you from your daydream. You look up at her, and she takes the cold cup of coffee from your arms. “You’re spaced out,” she says. “It’s obvious that you’re not going to drink this.” 

“Sorry,” you mumble. 

“Don’t apologize. These last few days have been hard for you.” Shoko disposes of the coffee, then begins washing the mug. “Have you talked to him since?” 

“No.” 

“Well, what are you thinking?” 

For the millionth time, you reread the last few messages between you and Suguru. He was right about you not trusting him, and it seemed like he took accountability for his actions. However, you’re still hurt. You think you’re going to be hurt about this for a very, very long time. Just thinking about how you spent a while at the restaurant anxiously checking the time, waiting for him to show up, has you falling silent again. 

“Hey,” Shoko sighs as she rubs your back. “It’s alright if you don’t know right now. You might have an answer when you see him-” 

A sudden knock at the door has both of you straightening up. Your eyebrows furrow, and you point towards the door. “Did you text him?” 

“No. I was just about to ask you that,” she says. 

You two approach the door, and you hear voices coming from the other side of it. 

“Satoru, this is a bad idea. She said that she-” 

“Lalalalala! I’m not listening!” 

“Satoru.” 

“Look, I don’t care! You should’ve done this days ago after forgetting the damn anniversary, dumbass. Me, Nanako, and Mimiko are tired of listening to you cryin’ in the shower.” 

Shoko facepalms. “Idiots. Both of them.” She opens the door, and Satoru grins, his blue eyes glimmering from behind his glasses. “Well, look who it is!” 

Suguru, your boyfriend, is nervously scratching the back of his head. You can tell he wants to say something, but doesn’t know what. Shoko looks over at you, and you nod that it’s okay. She nods in return, then pokes Satoru’s chest. “C’mon, let’s walk up the street to the bakery and give them a minute.” 

“Yes!” Satoru cheers, then waves at you before shoving Suguru inside and closing the door to Shoko’s apartment behind him. 

Suguru groans in annoyance. “I’m sorry. I know you needed time, but that asshole teleported us here before I could even-” 

“It’s okay,” you tell him as you sit on the couch. Half a minute later, he hesitantly sits next to you, relaxing into the cushion when he sees that you don’t move away from him. 

“Angel,” he starts, and like always, your heart jumps at the nickname. “I’m so sorry that I did this to you.” 

You wave him off. “Suguru, you’ve apologized enough.”

“No, you’re saying that because you’re drained. There’s no way I can apologize enough for missing our anniversary. I don’t blame you for being upset or for contemplating a break-up. Anyone would. That’s why I told you that I’m willing to earn your trust back. It’s going to take a lot, and I’m okay with that, if you’re willing to give me another chance.” 

“But what if this is nothing but a waste of time?” You ask. 

He sits up, determined. “It won’t be. I won’t let this happen again.” When you don’t reply, he places his hand on top of yours. “I missed you. Every day, Nanako and Mimiko asked about you. Our little home isn’t the same without you there. I’m so sorry that I missed your dinner. If you give me another chance, I’ll do better.”

Without even knowing, you lace your fingers with his. Though you’re mad at him, you’ve also missed him. But, you miss the Suguru who spent so much time with you towards the beginning of your relationship. You wondered if you’d ever see him again. 

“Hey.” You look towards Suguru, and he brushes his thumb over yours. “You know that I won’t force or pressure you,” he says calmly, even though his voice shakes. “I messed up badly and hurt you. If you truly want to end this, I understand, but-” 

“Suguru,” you cut him off loudly. “I just want my boyfriend to choose me as often as he chooses his friends. It feels like you only consider me when they’re not available, and it got so bad that you forgot our anniversary.” 

“And I’ll do that, and so much more,” he says firmly. “I know that I promised you before to spend more time with you. There’s so much that I need to make up to you.” 

More promises. Though you’re hopeful, you’re also nervous. 

“If I mess up this badly again, I’ll let you go. I won’t argue, I won’t fight it,” he proposes. 

“Alright,” you mumble. “One chance.” 

“All I need. Thank you.” Suguru carefully grabs your wrist, then tugs you into his arms. You breathe in his scent, and your body settles comfortably into his. 

“Don’t make me regret this, Suguru Geto.” 

“I won’t. Now come on, I have some promises to keep.”

You text Shoko that you’re locking up her apartment when you and Suguru leave, then you let Suguru take you outside.

---

SUKUNA

It’s well after midnight when you return to Sukuna’s estate. You walk the familiar hallways until you find your way to the garden. You sit on the dewy grass, and exhale slowly, enjoying the night air. 

You don’t go looking for him. You know that he’ll sense you here and come find you. 

The tiny bursts of light get your attention. Fireflies. He was right, they are out. You were surprised when Ryomen Sukuna told you that he remembered your love for them. After he forgot your anniversary, you were convinced that he just simply didn’t care about you, especially when he said that he only remembered things that were important to him. 

Suddenly, the air around you thickens as you sense his presence. He’s here. 

“You’re back,” Sukuna says from behind you. He sounds a bit uncertain. 

“No point in staying out forever,” you reply flatly. 

He doesn’t respond. He joins you on the ground, and you feel him watching you closely. You stare at the ground, your fingers lightly stroking the blades of grass. 

“But if I did decide to stay away,” you start, still facing the grass, “would you have let me go?” 

“Not if there was a possibility of earning another chance.” 

You finally look up at him, and before you can say another word, he gently puts a finger to your lips. “You are here, so I’d rather not waste time talking about hypothetical situations where you are not here.”

You shrug, then look away again. Truthfully, you didn’t know what to expect when coming back here. The King of Curses was anything but an easy partner to have a relationship with. You didn’t know why you, a mere sorcerer, loved him, but you did; so much and so deeply that it hurt to breathe sometimes. You know that he sees nearly everyone beneath him, but you thought that he at least respected you enough to show up for the dinner you planned. Maybe you’re foolish for returning.

“I hated every second that you were gone,” he says. Usually, Sukuna doesn’t admit to anything like that. It feels nice hearing it. “This place is so quiet without you.” 

A breeze blows in the garden, and it’s chilly enough to make you shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Sukuna uses an arm to pull you closer, and you settle into his warm body with a small, relieved sigh. Your back falls against his chest, and you feel his chin rest atop your head. 

“There is something I haven’t told you,” he mutters.

“What is it?” 

“A year ago, right here in this spot, I realized that it was love.” Your eyes slightly widen, but you don’t stop him. “You were watching the fireflies and explaining some memories you had about them from your childhood. So simple and so harmless, yet it felt like my entire soul had shifted when I finally figured it out. Then it hit me again when I watched you play with Yuuji in the rain, then once more when I held your hand while you slept. It also hit me when you left, and I spent the last few nights feeling your soul tremble as you cried, knowing that I caused it.” 

Sukuna gives your shoulder a little squeeze, then fully wraps his arms around you. “Perhaps if I had told you these discoveries of mine the moment I had them,” he explains, “then you would have never questioned your importance. You have no idea how much you mean because I have not told you. That, in addition to this situation, is my fault.”

Something within you cracks, and a new wave of tears rush to your eyes. You blink them away, deciding that you’ve cried enough in the last few days. 

“Forgive me, petal,” he whispers. “I know you believe that I missed the dinner you planned on purpose so I could hurt you, but that is not true. It will never happen again. You have my word.”

When you tilt your head up to look up at him, you’re met with his gorgeous, crimson eyes. Your king was evil, no doubt, but you always believed that he was the most beautiful being you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You nod once, and he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

“Come with me,” he tells you. 

“Where are we going?” 

He stands up, then lifts you into his arms. “You need to rest, and I would like for you to do so with me so I can have you close. Then tomorrow, I will begin to make this up to you, like I promised.” As he carries you inside, you rest your head against his shoulder. “Happy anniversary, petal.” 

Finally, you smile. “Happy anniversary, Ryomen.”

[charliemwrites]

Part 5 of Mister(s) Steal Your Girl

Long awaited, but no Johnny smut just yet. Soon, I promise. (And Kyle will be back. It's been so long since he's gotten to smooch our dear reader.)

Also! A little reminder than you can check the queue to see what I plan to post for next. I try to update it often as the worms wiggle. Next I plan to do the final chapter of Greater Bad. (Unless I get my not-so-secret, no-longer-a-surprise oneshot out first)

Lastly! Please note that I wrote the "posts" from his perspective. So inconsistencies with the actual story and any grammar/spelling errors were purposeful or for "authenticity".

Content: Brandon.

r/CakeEater _OnBrand_ I asked my fiancé for an open relationship before marriage. It worked. A while ago I posted on r/adultery about the affairs (yes, multiple) I was having behind my then-gf’s back. We’d already been dating for ~4 years and I was seeing one of my coworkers (my “work wife”) regularly and one of her coworkers on and off. People on my other post were critical and called me all sorts of things like selfish and pig. I know it’s not traditional, but I genuinely don’t think I could ever be satisfied by one woman. My work wife (Rachel) and fiance’s coworker (Lucy) provide things my fiancé just can’t but I still love my fiancé. She’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. When I posted on r/adultery I was trying to figure out how to propose without her finding out. I knew she’d expect me to help with stuff and possibly want to look at my phone more often. It would have been harder to sneak off to meet up with Lucy or Rachel with wedding planning and I was sick of being stressed she would find out. Some nicer people on the post suggested I ask for an open relationship. I took their advice and sat her down to sell the idea. It’s a good thing I’m so good at sales (top 3% in my company for 5 years in a row) because she agreed. Yes, actually agreed. At first she got kind of pale and her eyes got really big and blank. I thought for sure she was about to start crying and run off. Maybe even kick me out. She doesn’t really get angry but she gets upset and it freaks me out. After I explained everything about how good it would be for us though, she agreed. This is my official unlimited hallpass. I’ve been seeing Rachel on weekends and Lucy once or twice during the week for drinks. Tonight I’m going to sign up for every dating site I can. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge. If anyone has other suggestions, I’ll check those out too. Fiance has been kind of off but I think it’s just an adjustment period. Sometimes I can tell she’s been crying but she hasn’t come to me about it so she’s probably just being emotional about all the changes. At least she’s got our house to focus on while she gets used to things. I feel a little bad about running out every night but she’s just so mopey and sad all the time and it’s not enjoyable to be around. I know she probably feels like I’m abandoning her a little but once she starts getting back to normal I’ll spend time with her again. You really can have your cake (all the cakes heh) and eat them too. Edit: no, I never told her that I already had Lucy and Rachel and I’m not going to. What good would it do? She’s already agreed to an open relationship and telling her that I didn’t have permission first would just hurt her for no reason.

Kyle’s been gone for two (long, lonely) weeks when he finally gets a chance to call. So far, he’s only been able to send scattered texts at odd hours. Always something sweet – telling you he’s alright, or that he’s thinking of you. Sometimes you even catch him for a brief exchange before he apologizes and “goes dark” again.

Not that you begrudge it. This is part and parcel of dating him and you knew that going in. You’re not complaining when he’s putting his life on the line so that the public can live in blissful peace.

That doesn’t stop you from missing him though. His hugs, his smile. Getting his voice - even roughened by distance - is a nice compromise though.

“How have you been holding up, chickadee?” he asks after the initial reassurance that he’s whole and hale. 

“Easier this time!” you answer proudly. “I know what to expect with you gone and Johnny’s good company.”

“Yeah?” he asks, sounding pleased.

You can just imagine him now, leaning his hip against the nearest surface, arms crossed over his broad chest. He tends to duck his head when he smiles, and you unintentionally grin to yourself, thinking of him hiding into his phone. God, you miss him. 

“Mhmm! We found a board game bar that you’re going to love. Oh, and we’re going to the Hay Festival this weekend.”

He hums. “I’m sorry I can’t be there to take you, luv, but I knew Johnny would be good to you.”

More than good to you, really. There’s not been a day he doesn’t call to check up on you - if he doesn’t see you in person, that is. Dinner, movies, coffee. He’s somehow both a gentleman and an incorrigible flirt, but only with you. He’s nothing more than polite to anyone else, keeping his focus on you and whatever the two of you are doing.

You don’t know what to do with the undivided attention. If you didn’t know better…

“You two are getting close,” Kyle observes.

“I think so,” you admit, then hesitate. “Is… that okay?”

“‘Course, luv. I’m glad.”

You blink. “You are?”

“He’s my best mate and you’re my best girl.”

An odd pang of anxiety pierces your chest. Johnny calls you that too. His “best girl.” You love hearing it - but maybe you shouldn’t?

“It… doesn’t bother you? That we’re spending so much time together.”

He snorts softly, but it’s not derisive. It’s a noise he makes whenever he thinks you’re being silly, but his voice comes out soft and warm. Not an ounce of condescension.

“No, baby, I’m not fussed. You spend your time with whoever you want, however you want. Yeah?”

Your chest floods with warmth. “Okay.”

“There’s a love. I’ve got a brief, so I have to go. I’ll call soon as I can.”

“Be safe, Ky.”

“Do my best. Give Soap a smooch for us, aye?”

You blink as he hangs up. That’s a new one.

You ponder over it while packing on Thursday night. Was it just a joke? A tease at the little crush you’ve developed for Johnny?

Because it is a crush, you know it is. It’s impossible not to be attracted to him. Not with that smile, that laugh, the goofy humor and sweet mannerisms. He still sends you flowers every few weeks - just as the previous ones are about to die. It’s so thoughtful; you’ve started feeling a bit warm every time you look at them.

But you feel greedy, being even remotely interested in anyone else. You have Kyle and Brandon (even if you two are going through a… patch) and that should be enough for you. Shouldn’t it? You’ve never been with more than one person at a time before; it took you weeks to shake the compulsory guilt when you first met Kyle. It feels almost unforgivably audacious to want Johnny too, especially since he’s Kyle’s best mate.

Still… Kyle’s not a jealous or passive-aggressive guy. You’ve been with him long enough now that you know he’d just tell you outright if he was unhappy about something. And he’s been with you long enough that he can surely tell you’re more than a bit fond of Johnny.

Maybe that’s why he made the joke about “smooching” him.

Regardless, you want to talk to him about it. Things always make sense when you think out loud to him. His levelheaded and practical approach to difficult topics always straightens your panic spirals out into neat lines.

Plus, it’s not as comforting to hold your own hand. (God, when is he getting back?)

“Where are you going?”

You blink up at Brandon, folded pajamas in hand.

“The Hay Festival,” you answer.

Speaking of - you slip past him into the bathroom. He doesn’t follow, rooted to the spot spinning his phone around in his hands.

“Alone?”

You snort. “Of course not, I’m going with a friend.”

The allergy pills are at the bottom of the medicine basket beneath the sink. You really need to organize it the next time Johnny’s too busy to hang out. There’s no way you need three bottles of paracetamol. 

“I need that suitcase.”

You toss the bottle in and pivot for the dresser. “What for?”

He shifts, eyes sliding away. “An… overnight.”

Ah. That’s what he’s calling it now?

You snatch a few (too many) pairs of underwear from the dresser.

“Just bring them here,” you say over your shoulder.

There’s a long, tense beat of silence but you’re too busy rummaging for socks to break it first. Will it be too warm for thigh-highs? Eh, you’ll go with the sheer ones; the little lace roses match one of your dresses anyway.

“Bring who here?” Brandon asks slowly.

When you turn, he looks paler than usual. You shrug, trying to project casual comfort.

This is a totally normal and reasonable conversation to have. Just a couple in an open relationship, discussing a stranger coming to the house for a shag. Nothing to make a fuss over.

“Whoever you need the suitcase for? I know you’ve had people over before anyway, and I’ll be gone all weekend.”

He stutters, color returning to his face in bright pink blooms. “Why do you think I’ve had people over before?”

You arch an eyebrow. “I do the laundry, remember? And there was lipstick on one of the wine glasses.”

That had sent you into a tizzy at the time, disgusted that some stranger was in your bed, with your fiancé. You washed the sheets twice on the hottest setting and tossed in a bit of bleach for good measure. Hadn’t been able to look at him the whole week - not that he was there much to not look at.

Now, though, you seem to have adjusted to the idea, even if you’re still not thrilled. Brandon can have his… whoever over, and you’ll goof around with Johnny in Wales.

“Just toss the bedding in the wash afterwards,” you add.

“I thought you do the laundry,” he sniffs.

“I’m not traveling all day just to do chores when I get home,” you answer. He does a double take like you’ve started speaking a new language. “You’ll be here all weekend, I’m sure you’ll have time.”

He opens his mouth, and you can tell already that he’s about to argue - though you don’t really know what about. It’s not like he can’t do laundry or dishes, after all. He lived alone before you moved in together.

Thankfully, his phone distracts him before he can form the words. He spins away to tap at the screen and shuffles out of the room, shoulders till tense. You go back to packing and teasing Johnny about the amount of hair gel he’ll bring.

Friday afternoon can’t come fast enough. Even though you’ve taken a half day from work, the few hours seem to drag. You’re practically daydreaming about the food and drinks, music and activities. There’s a baker’s dozen art stalls you want to check out as well, and a gift to pick out for Kyle…

“Hope yer thinkin’ o’ me when ye make tha’ face.”

Your head snaps around so fast, you nearly give yourself whiplash. Johnny grins down at you in all his casually handsome glory – ripped jeans, green tee, and brown boots. Angels are singing somewhere, you think. Or maybe that’s just your nosy coworkers ogling from their own cubicles.

The reality of him sinks in a moment later and you leap up from your cushy chair – and right into his arms. He’s like a furnace compared to the cool, conditioned air of your office, a welcome source of warmth for your chilly fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you giggle. “Who let a rowdy guy like you in?”

He smells like bergamot and pine. It takes active thought to resist pressing your face into the crook of his neck. It looks cozy there.

As always, he squeezes you a bit tighter just before letting go.

“Hey now, Marcy’s a discerning lady. She knows a fine gentleman when she sees one.”

You snort, belied by the smile curling your lips. “She may need new glass then.”

“Och, don’t go talkin’ poor about my second-best gal now.”

“Is it that easy to get in your good graces?” you scoff, glancing at the time on your computer. It’s later than you expected; no wonder he came up to retrieve you. You spent so long daydreaming that you’ve lost track of time.

“Aw don’ be green, dove, you’re still my number one. Send ye flowers ‘n all.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, and now I’m wondering just how special that is.”

He stands close, proclaiming his case for how obviously special you are while you shut everything down for the weekend. You’re only half listening to the bit, admittedly. Mostly just basking in your excitement for the mini road trip and the weekend to come. You have no doubt that it’s going to be fun, even if it would be better with Kyle along too.

“Where are you headed off to?” Lucy asks.

“Hay Festival,” you answer shortly.

You’ve never been a big fan of Lucy, but lately she’s been insufferable. Talking over you during meetings, leaving you out of emails, throwing away papers at the printer. (Okay, you haven’t seen her do that last one, but you know.) Worst of all, she can help but make backhanded comments about every flower delivery.

“You’re not taking Brandon?” she simpers. “Something wrong?”

“He’s hanging out with a friend this weekend too,” you correct, “and he doesn’t like hay.”

“Shame that,” Johnny adds, sounding like it’s not a shame at all.

You haven’t told him much about Brandon – but you’re sure that Kyle has. From the face Johnny makes the rare times your fiancé comes up in conversation, he doesn’t think much of Brandon.

“Have fun you two!” your manager, Selene, calls.

You wave and shoot Lucy one last, unimpressed glance before stepping onto the elevator with Johnny.

r/CakeEater _OnBrand_ My fiancé is going on a weekend getaway with another man. I’ve posted in r/adultery and r/cakeeater before. I’m not looking for judgement or insults here. I really just want advice.

A little context: my fiancé and I are in an open relationship and it’s been like this for a few months now. I originally asked her to ope the relationship and for a while she was weird about it but lately she’s been getting sbetter. I thought she was finally getting used to me going out with other women and things were getting back to normal.

A few weeks ago, I noticed she was on her phone more. Like, all the time. Even at dinner when she used to be really picky about phones at the table. One day I came home from work and she was talking on the phone to someone. Giggling and laughing. When I turned the corner she was kind of blushing too. It kind of bothered me but I figured she was talking to a friend and just hot from cooking or something.

Lucy texted me pissed off one day, asking why I was sending my fiancé flowers but not her. I told her I hadn’t sent any flowers. I think they’re way too expensive for how long they realistically last and that they take up a lot of unnecessary space. But I thought it was weird that someone was sending my fiancé flowers and got kind of uncomfortable. That’s a pretty romantic gesture and her family isn’t the type to randomly send flowers either.

I tried taking her out on a date but she was all mopey again and turned her phone to ‘do not disturb’ so I wouldn’t even see if she was texting someone. We don’t have much to talk about now. I love her but she’s not a good storyteller or into very interesting things. All her ‘funny stories’ are just mundane things that happen during the day. We’ve run out of interesting topics about because we’ve been together so long. (That’s why I like having more than one partner.)

Yesterday she randomly started packing for a trip. I don’t even think she was planning to tell me until I asked her. She was packing a bunch of cute clothes too. Like dresses and tights and things like that. Stuff she only used to wear on our dates. I asked who she was going with and she just said ‘a friend’ which is weird because she would usually say the name of someone even if I don’t remember who they are.

Well today Lucy sent me a picture of my fiancé leaving her job with some guy. I couldn’t see his face because he was turned away, but I could see the side of my fiancé’s face and she was smiling at him. I got this awful sinking feeling in my chest like it was hard to breathe. It took me a few minutes to process that she’s going away for a weekend with a complete stranger.

Doesn’t she know how dangerous that is? Where did she even meet this guy? They’ll be gone all weekend so are they sharing a room? A bed? I nearly threw up thinking all these things as I called her.

I asked her to cancel her plans and come home. She seemed confused and reminded me that her plans were with someone else and it would be rude to ditch last minute. I told her I wanted to spend the weekend with her and that I’d been missing her. She seemed surprised and said that she’d see me on Sunday night, but she was looking forward to the festival with her ‘friend’ and wanted to go. As a last ditch effort I asked if her friend was more important than me, nearly begging at that point. She must have heard the desperation in my voice, but she just told me that she was already on the road and it was too late.

My fiancé doesn’t like lying but it’s hard to believe this guy was just a friend. Even if she sees him as a friend I know how men think and I doubt he sees her the same way.

She said some other weird stuff before she left about having someone over while she was gone. I don’t get it. How could she just casually invite someone else into our house like that? Has she had other people over? Is she dating now?

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t like that she put this trip over me. Should I talk to her about how bad this makes me feel? Should I call again and tell her to come home more forcefully? Am I blowing all of this out of proportion?

Edit: she doesn’t know that I’ve been seeing Lucy. I haven’t told my fiancé about any of the women I’ve been seeing. (mostly just Lucy and Rachel. I’ve done a lot of texting through apps and gone on a bunch of first place, but most women don’t put out right away and I usually can’t be bothered to get to know them better). Even then, I wouldn’t tell her about lucy. They don’t get along and never have. It would cause a lot of unnecessary drama.

First | Previous | TBC... Masterlist

[kyri45]

PREV / ALL / FIRST / NEXT (ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU!)

Wow the ratio is changing we are getting REAL SERIOUS NOW BOYS. (siffrin in the meantime is dying in Eded lmao)

So we reached officially the endgame. From now on, things will be more and more different from Sky. In a good way I promise. For starter, we aint getting spirit, we got real, breathing people because even though I adore the spirits it's just so sad sometimes that we are basically sorrounded by a bunch of ghosts.

Second, the starting of the Aviary season / quest as you can see is slightly different but more or less will be the same.

It's kind of funny. With the new update, new player now start the game here, while for old players, it was the isla the starting point. So the gang started the journey just like the old Sky player and then got jumpscared with another homespace.

[fics-lovebot]

jungkook fic recs

main masterlist

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs ;)))

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

e.r means established relationship

disclaimer: if you came back to read that one fire fic you liked but can´t find it, its bc the link wasn´t working anymore so I deleted it :/

last updated: 08/08/2024

yandere / mafia / bad boy

bloody love - ( @hongjoongscafe ) smutty, king jk, evil jk, obsessed jk, posessive jk, blood thirsty jk like fr, he honestly loves bathing in the blood of those who did him wrong in his eyes, reader is lgb. this is an on going series but I´LL BE DAMNED IF IT ISN´T THE BEST THING I´VE READ in a minute!!, the writing its so captivating, not a single dull or boring moment, i can´t wait for the next part tbh

romantic dreams - ( @kooktrash ) yandere!jungkook, tattoo artist jk, boxer!jk, UGHH ITS GOODDD, he´s so toxic frfr, namjoon is sick of his ass lmao, totally obsessed with reader, jealous and possesive af, he´s crazy sdlfjs but i´m into it

toxic noona - ( @aajjks ) yandere!noona, toxic controling relationship, jk is a victim, he´d rather die than leave, reader likes to make him cry, manipulation

crafting new memories - ( @peachypinkygloss ) yandere!jk FR, stockholm syndrome, jk kiddnaped reader and fucks her while making her watch herself on the news,,,her own missing sign

yours insanely - ( @smileyoongle ) yandere!jk, serial killer jk, detective!reader, he kills women who look like you, so interesting to read

darknet - ( @darkestcorners ) yandere!jk, the internet is scary, human trafficking, jk is scary dangerous, it´s a LOT, just wow

who is in control? - ( @ctrlsht ) yandere-ish, lawyer!jk, posessive jk, obsessive jk, toxic relationship, stalking, manipulation, secret relationship, he´s cray-cray

hybrid au / soulmate au / super hero au / alien au

bunnytalk - ( @woncon ) bunny hybrid jk, owner reader, jk is a sad bunny bc reader won´t return his feelings but it´s all just a misunderstanding

night vision - ( @bonny-kookoo  ) e.r, alien!jk, suggestive, lowkey smut, bunny hybrid reader, jk has tentacles ,,,,,nothing else to say, flirty fluffy jk, this is dIFFERENTTTT i love it

closer - ( @blublublujk ) smut, step siblings au, noona reader, yandere!jk, jk is obsessed with him older step sister, WHEWWW this is intense, very detailed, loved it

slice of life / university au / idol jk

you make him go crazy - ( @onlyswan ) fluff, idol!jk, slight angst, multiple scenarios, reader is constantly making him go nuts, he is STRESSED lmao, it´s cute anyways, reader is kind of a careless brat but jk wouldn´t have it any other way

you wear his clothes - ( @nochukoo97 ) fluff, thing is...HE gives you his clothes, he´s so boyfriendd

call me soon - ( @peachypinkygloss ) summer break up, strangers to fwb to lovers, obsessed jk

screw up; over wine - ( @koocycle ) finance major jk x model!reader, first date drabble, he is really into reader so he takes her to a fancy pricey wine and dine but guess wHAT.. he is broke lmao so he straight up PANICS, lowkey highkey secondhand embarrasment but it´s jk so it ends in a cute way

kiss me better - ( @jaykaysthicthighs ) angst, jerk jk, mean jk, misunderstanding, manhandling, he is crying bc he assumed she was cheating but he was sooo wrong, now he is begging, crying, throwing up,,, they make up anyways, its angsty in a satisfying way

you´re sleepy but you promised you´d go grocery shopping with him - ( @thvhoe ) e.r, its cuteeeee

couple questions with vogue - ( @kjdkive ) fluff, e.r, idol!jk, supermodel!reader, I LOVE THISSSS, he is the best boyfriend/fiancé soon to be hubby EVER UGHHHH its so cute

devoted to trouble - ( @jeonsweetpea ) fluff, lil angst, smut, comedy, spiderman!jk au inspired by seven??? a masterpiecE. the world finds out he is spiderman but he dgaf bc he only cares about you, #pininggg, reader playing hard to get, man i love tHIS

show you what devotion is - ( @thvhoe ) boxer!jk, ballerina!reader, fluff, angst. you´re like his safe place, it´s giving exes to wannabe lovers, they deff like each other and jk wants to eat her uP but he´s wants it to be romantic and stuff, idk idk I liked itttt

you surprise him for his birthday - ( @nochukoo97 ) he´s so boyfriendddddd, this is so wholesome and cute

he can´t sleep bc he loves you so much - ( @onlyswan ) now THIS makes me want to drink bleach and die bc of how cute it is, THEY ARE SO IN LOVEEEE, there´s a lot of giggling, a lot of praising, a lot of disgustingly sweet loving talk after sex :´)))))) its such a good read i promise

fighting heart - ( @kooktrash ) boxer!jk, fluff, angst, he´s so stressed sldfkj, reader gets in a small accident and jk went crazy when a nurse answered your phone

make a wish - ( @euaphoric ) fluff, little smut, best friends to lovers, reader is so sweet, birthday surprise, jk shoots his shot, he only wants to spend his birthday with you

daft pretty boy - ( @jeonqkooks ) basketball cap!jk, classmates to lovers ig, see he´s smart but when he´s with you he gets nervous and forgets how to exist, he lowkey confesses and he´s sraightforward with itt, he´s got a hUGE crush on you lmao

ride - ( @ohjeon ) strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, jk is a fucc boy on campus, reader has tattoos and rides the coolest bike, jk has an instant crush, love at firts sight i would say, got him blushing and sweating lmao, this is an on going series but I KNOW it´ll be gREAT, I love it already

in your arms - ( @kookslastbutton ) e.r, fluff, smut, morning secs, waking up by his side for the first time after moving in

encore - ( @jjungxkook ) game designer!jk, he is cool af, has a fat crush on reader, this is just the teaser of the fic but I really like it

crave you - ( @7deadlysinsfics ) idol!jk, crack, smut, fluff, hispanic choreographer reader, texting, taejikook, jk is HORNY but he´s a softie too, he´s got a big big fat crush, strenght kink bc we all know he can throw her around like a ragdoll

pretty girl - ( @bts-trash-blog ) smut, tattoo artist!jk, chubby reader, THIS IS ITTTTT, he´s tall, dark and handsome, flirty af too, "pretty girl" stFUUUU, they both want to fuck so he shoots his shot at the tattoo appointment

easy - ( @itsamejin ) angsty, fuckboy jk, bet!trope, jk plays you so he can get his rent paid, i read this one a lawwngg time ago and decided i was an angst loving hoe

Inevitable - ( @ahundredtimesover ) angst, fluff, smut, lovers to exes to lovers, baseball player!jk, dad!jk, parents au, you break up with jk years ago after you got pregnant bc you wanted him to follow his dreams and now he´s back home just to find out there´s a boy who looks just like him.. this is a masterpiece, honestly one of THEE best jk series out there, it has it all fr, the angst is angsty and the fluff is FLUFFY, i love it sm i´ve read it 3 times and never get tired of it

finish line - ( @bonny-kookoo ) fluff, nerdy!jk, racer!jki loooooveee itttttt, so cute, so fluffy, this blurb uGHHHHH, just read the whole thing pls

ungodly hour - ( @explicit-tae ) crack, smut, fluff, college au, broke college student!reader, lowkey slutty!reader, jk is thirsstttyyyyy, simping atp, "who´s dick do i have to suck for a hulu account?" this series is honestly so funny ksjakskjs

disney + and bust - ( @1kook ) angst, fluff, smut. yall already know i love to see man crying and begging for forgiveness :p, so kook is ur succesfull "app developer" bf and he says some very hurtfull things to you out of anger

rattled - ( @gukslut ) complete series, single dad au, angst, smut. honestly? one of the best fics out there. I read this a long time ago and i´m still in awe. The way this is written makes you feel every word. also, the plot is so so unique. i love it.

ceo au / sugardaddy au / rich bf au / coworker au

Over The Odds | The Confession - ( @jungk0oksthighs ) ceo jk, sugardaddy jk, jealous bf jk, sugar baby reader, he gets mad and yells bc he is lowkey insecure of her ex but reader is equaly in love. this is a series

wrong time - ( @spideyjimin ) smut, angst, dilf!jk, ceo!jk, exes to lovers, workaholic as a scape mechanism, the one that got away type of stuff but she broke things up first for valid reasons, big big heartache but she´s still the love of his life

don´t blame me - ( @ctrlsht ) sugar daddy!jk, ceo!jk, soft yan!jk, obsessive!jk, student!reader, unhealthy behavior on his part, manipulative behavior on her part, jealousy on both parts, he goes a lil too far but reader is bitchy and annoying, he lit gives her everythinggg she asks for, the man is..creazy about her in a very unhealthy way and she takes advantage of that, toxicc

failed quickie - ( @vminizzle ) cowerker jk, suggestive, they´re about to fucc on an elevator but it didn´t work, he likes his hair pulled!!1!

someone older - ( @bonny-kookoo ) smut, ceo jk, divorced jk, 30 something yo jk, taehyung has a kid, younger oc, its a nice read, would do it again

break up au / cheating au / fuckboy au

night after night - ( @brown-bi-beautiful ) smut, angst, crack, fluff, semi-retired fuckboy jk, red flag jk, stalker jk, break up au, lovers to exes to lovers, he fucked around and found out so he is FREAKING ouT, also he is beggING okk.. we love that, he also has a Harley bc he is bad boy™, they make up anyways bc he is pussy whipped.. or in love, whatevs you wanna call it

seven plus one - ( @jvngkoos ) smut, angst, they break up for like a week and that shit got him SIMPING fr, standing under the rain begging and stuff, the man is obsessed, we love it

pwp / fwb

you good?? - ( @mono-moonchilds ) drabble, smut, "what if you gave jungkook head?" is righT bc i´ve been thinking about it for a min!!! he is mean ok yall know he is a brat buT, the head is too good to do all that, the man was shaKINg for godssakeee, so good he had to answer with a thumbs up bc reader drained him fr, left him so brain dead he couldn´t even speak

afterglow - ( @elitekook ) smut, fwb!jk, slight possessive!jungkook, dirty talking, degrading nicknames, but he cares ok, he´s trying to get out of the friend zone

come sit on my lap - ( @euphoricfilter ) pwp, lots of praisingg, they way this is written is good yall, "use me" , “so polite” shUT UPPPP im literally blushing, AND he is also cute at the end?? i hate it heREEE :´)

he has a lot of cum - ( @euphoricfilter ) boyfriend!jk, the title I- , he DOES have a lot of cum, lots of stamina, lots of everYTHING, and on toP of those small details, wdym he wants to see how many times he can cum in you before it´s too full and it starts to spill????? somebody stop this man

riding jungkook´s nose - ( @euphoricfilter ) we´ve ALLL thought about this, and if you haven´t you´re lying, periodt. pRAISINGGG, he´s in a pussy-drunk frenezy, he likes feeling used, he likes getting his hair pulled, he likes getting his face wET, it´s sickenINGGGG goreaditplease

fucking in the gym - ( @euphoricfilter ) this was inspired by that one pic of him and jimin with their back out, I SEE THE VISION, fucking with ceiling mirrors

wicked - ( @noteguk ) smut, incubus!jk, big big corruption kink, lots of dirty ploting and dirty talk, yupppp this is a good one, so detailed, love me a fic that lit makes me see what i´m reading

[loverofpiggies]

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Beginning | Previous | Next

Check out my Etsy!

I'm sad to admit I've always been cursed at finishing chapters. Can't tell you how many times I just threw down a gradient over some dialogue and said 'scene'! And half the time the dialogue is bad.

Anyway, "Your Favorite Season" or chapter 2, has officially concluded!

I'm almost completely done drawing up chapter 3, coloring just takes a long time. I know people are wondering what's going on with Simon, but I promise you, the wait will be worth it. Or, I hope it'll be worth it. There's some super important storytelling build up that HAS to happen before Simon returns, and you'll see why, when it happens. He's guaranteed to return in chapter 4, at the very least! And I think you'll like what I got planned.

Also sorry to the Adventure Time tags. I uhhh. I can't stop drawing.

Oh! Also I'm doing two conventions, back to back. Las Cruces comic con this weekend, and Colorado Springs Comic con next weekend! CSCC in particular is a madhouse, and back to back shows are INSANE and a lot of work, so updates will probably be way slower for a little while. I'll probably be drawing pages during my downtime, but coloring takes more focus. That, and the next chapter needs new backgrounds, too.

Anyway, if you happen to be going to either of those two events, my table is under the name 'Crayon Queen Creations', so feel free to stop by!

Now that all that dialogue is out of the way, enjoy!

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Rainy Season

Azriel x Reader

An angsty little one shot. Azriel’s mate is tired of being at the bottom of his list of priorities.

Update: Due to popular demand, this is being made into a series!

Part 2

The air’s getting heavy and we both know why

There was a time when an evening like this brought solace to my weary soul.

Azriel’s hand wrapped around my waist, caressing my stomach, pressing soft kisses to the juncture of my neck and shoulder. His hair tickling against my sensitive skin as we hid under blankets absorbing the incessant melody of drip, drop, drip, drop and the echoing pitter patter of rain drops hitting the roof. His warmth seeping right through to the coldest depths of my soul.

I’d turn around, pressing my bare breasts against his muscled chest. Our breath hitching as his sunburst eyes of brown, amber, and gold bore into mine, his soft lips whispering promises of forever.

Say that this storm is just passing through

But Azriel wasn’t here. He hadn’t been for 6 days, 23 hours, and 50 minutes now. It would have been laughable, comparing the past to now, if it weren’t so damned sad. In the beginning there’d been long, doting love notes with risqué quips regarding his intentions upon coming home, little gifts that he couldn’t resist bringing back from his travels, and the stolen hours where he’d sneak in a visit during the intermittent downtime on his missions. As a realist, I knew that it was not sustainable long-term but relished in it as the gift it was. Newly formed, passionate love that exceeded anything I had ever imagined upon finding my cauldron-blessed mate.

As the years went on I understood when the love notes became briefs and the thoughtful gifts became pecks on the cheek as he hurried through the door to exchange his leathers for clean ones, wipe down his weapons, and rest before his next mission. But time went on, as is inevitable, and distant were the memories of stolen moments away from missions, the desperate caress of his hands roaming my body as if he couldn’t quite believe I was fully corporeal before him - needing to touch me to reassure him that this was real. Now the touches were detached, perfunctory, another task on his never-ending to-do list.

Drop after drop we’re destroying this house and eachother.

The boiling point had been simmering for a while, left on the fire with reassurances of “Things are just busy right now”, “It’ll slow down soon”, “I would stay if I could, love. You know I would. I have no choice.”

But we both knew all too well that there was always a choice. There were times when Rhys let it slip that Azriel had volunteered for missions that his other spies were perfectly suited for, times when all I wanted in the world was to be curled up and listening to the rain with my mate.

Missions became tasks with the Valkyries, “chaperoning” Cassian and Nesta, and emotionally supporting the lovely doe-eyed fawn - Elain - who was the delicate cherry blossom of spring opposite of my wild summertime storm.

It wasn’t her fault. The trauma inflicted upon her, the loss of autonomy that came with being thrown into the cauldron and having her mortality stripped away without her say. The powers she never asked for overwhelming her senses. Hell, maybe it wasn’t Azriel’s fault for responding to the traumas of his past and the need to overcompensate for every ounce of blood he’s drawn by saving anything and everything that needed rescuing.

The problem lay with the fact that where Elain is a “seer”, my ability to “sense” when things are amiss was strong and Azriel’s intentions with her were becoming blurred. Feelings of lust had become more frequent down the bond along with flutters of joy and adoration. When it began I thought maybe things would look up in our relationship - he was missing me, fisting his cock to fantasies of taking me over and over when he returned home - but he only became more distant. He’d return more often than not smelling of jasmine and honey. The strength of the scent coating him correlating with the increase in enamored feelings slipping through the bond.

Six days ago when I’d asked him to skip out on training with Cassian and Nesta and whatever it was he and Elain would do - that was when the thunder clapped and the sky opened. “I can’t just stay home and cater to you all the time. I have duties to this court. Why can’t you find a hobby to occupy your time? Nesta reads and trains with the Valkyries, Feyre paints, Elain gardens and she evens bakes! Why can’t you be more like-“

He caught himself too late, immediately reaching out to place a gentle hand on my shoulder and apologize but it was too late for that.

Please, make it stop

It wasn’t that I wasn’t a forgiving or understanding person. i appreciated his dedication to his court and family and those in need but…

“Why can’t I be more like what? You can stop mid-sentence but you already said it all.” I looked down, shaking my head as silver lined my eyes. Gods, I hate that I’m an angry crier. “You want to know why I can’t be more like Elain in your eyes, Azriel? Because I exist in your fucking blind spot! I have been helping Feyre AT the studio, volunteering at a food pantry in Velaris, and teaching self-defense classes to women and children at the park but you wouldn’t know because you never ask me what I’ve been up to while you’re gone.”

He started to speak but I wasn’t finished. “The reason I cannot be more like Elain, or Feyre, or Nesta is because I’m none of them. I am ME. And you know what? I like me. I don’t want to be anybody else.” Trying and failing miserably to hold my head high I pathetically fell to my knees, shuddering as tears of rage flowed freely.

Warmth enveloped me as Azriel knelt down to soothe my quaking form. I let him if only because I didn’t have the composure to tell him otherwise as he began pressing kisses to my forehead. “I’m so sorry. I have been a terrible mate. I love all that you are- I- I’ll stop with Elain. She’s doing much better and Nuala and Cerridwen can keep an eye on her, so can Rhys and Cassian, and her sisters. It will be okay.”

That consolation attempt only drove the blade of bitterness deeper into my heart. Elain had so many in her corner and who did I have anymore? My chronically absent mate? The family I left behind to move to Velaris with Azriel? There was nobody close by.

“I think you should leave.” I sobbed out.

Azriel ignored the shaky command, continuing to hold me. Fuck - is this what it took for him to notice me? Breaking my heart so he could stitch it back up again?

“Azriel.” I stated firmly.

He met my eyes.

“You should leave.”

His look grew puzzled. “I thought you wanted me to stay - to spend time together? Please, Y/N. Let me make this better.”

“I need space. Give me one week.”

“But-“

“One. Week.”

Azriel’s shoulders slumped, head hanging low for several minutes before realizing that my decision was firm.

“I love you.” He said before heading out the door.

——————

Like clockwork as 7 days, 0 hours, and 1 minute were up, the front door to our home opened and Azriel’s footsteps padded in behind me, my gaze remaining fixated on the rain falling outside the window. A lump formed in my throat as I avoided turning to meet his gaze.

So dance one more dance and tell one more lie.

Azriel stepped around me, wordlessly extending a hand, patiently waiting as I avoided his gaze a moment longer before taking it. His shadows began humming faintly, increasing their melody and reaching a crescendo as Azriel began dancing with me through the room.

Say that you love me even if it’s not true

I let myself melt into the warmth of his chest. The thick air remained heavy upon my soul but I could have this. I could let myself enjoy this moment.

We wordlessly danced through the room in the soft glow of the fae lights.

We made our way through the hall into our shared bed that had become so neglected.

“I love you, Y/N.” he murmured as he laid me down, stripped bare underneath him.

“I love you too, Azriel.”

——————

Wish I could just say it and words were enough to keep you from being the one giving up.

The middle of the night left me restless as he lay soundly asleep beside me. My senses tugged me toward his bag that he’d discarded at the entryway. I brought out his dirty clothes from the week only to be greeted with the fresh scent of jasmine and honey.

Like the sky letting go for no reason

I packed my essentials and voyaged out into the pouring rain. Its patter on my skin washing away the salty tears streaming down my face. Following my senses to where the love was true back to my Summer Court home, my family. As free as a summer storm.

It's just the rainy season.

—————————————

A/n - I know there are plenty of Azriel x Reader and Elain fics out there. It was rainy and dreary here yesterday and this song was in my head for the first time in like 10 years so…. I wrote this.